#ten years ago today i was 13 years old going through the actual literal five stages of grief

[sleevebuscemii]

everybody shut up. today is the 10 year anniversary of the bbc merlin series finale.

[comeoncomeout41]

I just watched the Elf episode of The Holiday Movies That Made Us on Netflix after remembering that I started writing an Elf supercorp AU for Christmas in 2018 (don’t judge me) and found my old notes app first draft so Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! MAYBE I’ll finish it this year... (she said as a lying liar who lies.)

*The fic in which Kara’s pod crash landed at the North Pole, 13 years later her adopted elf mother Eliza and her elf sister Alex tell her about her cousin Kal now Clark Kent and she decides to go to Metropolis to meet the only other person like her. She meets Lena “naughty list” Luthor. And Clark and Lois are Jewish.

🔥🎄🎄🎄🧝‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Some elves are born to work in Santa’s workshop. Kara Zor-El, however, was not born an elf or even from this earth for that matter.

When her pod crash landed at the North Pole thirteen years ago, she had no memory of a lost planet, no recollection of a cousin she was sent to protect who had already grown up to become Superman, and no idea how to be an alien living with elves. Santa was perturbed as to what to do with a skittish teenaged alien who cringed at the sound of tiny hammers building toys.

The elf doctor, Eliza Danvers, having a daughter around Kara’s age, naturally stepped in to help raise her, teach her elf culture, and attempt to control her powers. There were several mishaps of course.

Kara’s eyes lit up the first time she saw a Christmas tree. Literally. The green pine was burned to a crisp with her heat vision. But she quickly uprooted another tree from outside the elf village and helped Alex redecorate the new tree. And spent several hours carefully placing the new lights and ornaments, after breaking several of the glowing strings of light and the ornate red and blue colored bulbs. When Alex had trouble reaching the top of the tree, Kara swooped her up under her arms to help her place the star on the tree. And she managed to only break one of Alex’s ribs in the process.

After years of being at the North Pole, Kara was actually a wonderful toy maker once she learned to control her strength. When other elves managed to meet their five hundred toy quotas, Kara would have five thousand toys completed. The workshop wouldn’t need any teddy bears for another century, but finding storage for all of the toys Kara built was becoming difficult.

So from there, Kara’s primary job became Elf Master of Letters. She spends several hours each day answering letters for Santa as Santa’s tight schedule and the millions of letters he received each year became too much for the old bearded man. And although she always needed a little proofreading as the different Earth languages were sometimes difficult and much different than her native alien tongue, she enjoyed writing and speaking to children all over the world, bringing them the joy of Christmas.

Alex read over the letter Kara had just finished typing. Her younger but much bigger sister looked to her with a twinkle in her eyes and waited patiently. When Kara saw the red ink marked all over Kara’s letter she cooed and gasped, “That red is so pretty Alex. I know Raymond in Denver will love it! He told me red was his favorite color. I wanted to tell him that’s Santa’s favorite color too! But I didn’t want to give all of the big man’s secrets away, you know?”

Alex sighed and rested her hand on her sister’s shoulder, “Kara, these are your typos. Look here.”

Alex pointed to the last line, “Beleiving isn’t singing. Singing is beleiving.”

“He asked if he could see what the North Pole looks like. I set him straight. Believing isn’t singing. Singing is believing. That was in that one Santa Claus movie you had me watch, which I know isn’t historically accurate or based on true events, but I still,”

“Kara, remember your English spellings. I before e except after c? And it’s seeing not singing.

“Except in some cases like neighbor and weigh. And I just thought! It’s a play on words because ‘the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear!’”

Alex smiled at her then, “You’ll get the hang of it.“

“Yeah, okay so I can’t spell that great, but the writing was good right?” Kara looked hopeful.

Alex shoved her shoulder, “You know you have more Christmas spirit than any other elf. Now come on and fix these typos, so we can go drink hot chocolate with Mom.”

That night when Kara had gone to bed, belly full of twelve drumsticks, eleven pickled peppers, ten cups of hot chocolate, nine hams glazed, eight glasses of milk, seven strudel pastries, six white chocolate goose eggs, five onion rings, four carrot cakes, three French bagels, two turtle chocolates, and a chocolate pecan pie, she curled up on her elf sized bed. Eliza had knit a fourth blanket onto her elf quilt the previous month when her toes started peeking out at the bottom. Alex had tucked her in tonight, making certain she was snug as a bug in a rug in the tiny bed, wishing sweet dreams of sugarplums dancing in her head.

She was content, happy, home and tomorrow would be her thirteenth birthday at the North Pole. What more could her life possibly be, what could be more rewarding than being apart of the magic that brought Christmas to children all over the world? And still Kara thought of that world and all of the little lights that wrote those letters to Santa, the gleaming eyes of all who opened presents on Christmas morning, and she wondered if any of them were like her. If they could hear the faintest sounds of snow falling or reach up and touch the clouds. If they could roast chestnuts with their eyes or see through all those pretty presents wrapped neatly under the tree. If the people of this world could believe that Santa would come every year to bring them gifts, then she had to believe that somewhere out there, there was someone else who was just like her.

That night Kara dreamed of a beautiful red sunset and little baby boy named Kal. It all felt so real, seeing him jet across the sky in a similar pod to the one Kara had found in an abandoned workshop years ago, knowing it must have been how she found her home. She wrote a letter to Santa as soon as she woke up, asking him to find a home for Kal for Christmas.

_____

Kara had been in trouble a bit, always an accident, because really how was it her fault if Blitzen couldn’t keep up with her? He could have flown faster if he hadn’t eaten all of that maple syrup and maybe then he wouldn’t have been left behind! She carried him back the whole way anyway! After she found him three days later in the Swiss Alps.

But this time when she was called to Santa’s office and Eliza and Alex sat patiently waiting for the charges from the big boss, Kara didn’t know why she was here at all, or rather, now she was on the floor with wood debris around her rear because the little chair was a lot lower than she had anticipated. That was the tenth one this month.

Santa cleared his throat and rubbed his white bearded chin, “I read your letter, and I spoke to your mom and sister. I think they have something they’d like to tell you.”

Kara widened her eyes and looked to her mom, “Are we going to adopt Kal? Like you adopted me? Please say we can Eliza. I promise I’ll teach him myself how to control his powers, and I can build him a crib myself. I’ll even chop down the tree for the wood and we can,”

Eliza cupped Kara’s face and kissed her forehead, a tear prickling at the corner of her eye, “Do you remember Kal now sweetie? Do you remember Krypton?”

Kara blew out her breath in bewilderment, “Krypton? What’s that? Is that where I’m from? Is it in Canada? I’ve always felt I was probably a Canadian because I don’t get cold at the North Pole, and I make the best maple syrup every year during the elf Christmas party.”

Santa nodded, “Its true, you really do.”

Alex gasped, “you know you’re not an elf?”

Kara chewed at her fingernails, “Well I’m not, am I? I’m bigger than all of you and I can lift a Christmas tree over my head like it’s mistletoe and fly with reindeer and all sorts of stuff. I’ve known for awhile I’m not from here, but this is still my home. You two are still my family.”

Alex held back all her unshed tears, “But you have other family out there, and we can’t keep you from knowing about Kal anymore.”

So that day Kara cried when Santa showed her the picture of Kal, or Clark Kent as he was called on Earth, glasses askew and a beautiful woman on his arm. Clark without the glasses bearing what she was told was her family crest, the House of El, taking up the mantle of Earth’s greatest hero, Superman. She had crafted thousands of figurines of her only living blood relative, and yet she hadn’t the faintest idea that she had been sent to protect him for all of these years. He had grown up, not alone at least. He was raised in Kansas on a farm, and now he lived in Metropolis with his wife Lois Lane and their son Jonathan Kent.

“Does he even know I exist?”

_____

Kara changed into her best elf attire and her bright red boots that Eliza had made her for Christmas, letting her open one present before she left. Today was the day that she would fly to Metropolis and meet her cousin for the first time. She couldn’t wait, but the dread at leaving Alex and Eliza settled deep in the pit of her stomach. And all of the letters to Santa she still wanted to respond to sat neatly at her desk in her room.

She was leaving behind her entire life at the North Pole. She told herself she wasn’t losing her home, but it still felt like it. Santa’s workshop, Eliza and Alex, it was all she had ever known or could remember. Would it be the same when she came back? Would her room still smell like a gingerbread house and would her stocking still hang by their chimney with care? Would Kal come with her or would she split her time between Kal and Alex and Eliza like some children who get double presents when their parents divorce?

Alex knocked on her door and waltzed in, “Hey Kara, mom made you something to take to Kal. There’s a winter storm over Greenland, you should probably get going soon.”

Kara wiped the tears from her eyes and her sister rushed to hug her. She had to bend down a little and lift Alex off the ground, but no way was she leaving without giving her sister a proper hug.

“I’m going to miss you and mom so much, Alex. I’ve never been away from home for more than a few hours, how am I going to make it to Christmas without you both? Will you even still want me back?”

Alex nuzzled closer, “You better come back because I don’t want to imagine this place without you. Who’s going to lift the fridge so mom can sweep under it hmm? Who’s going to change all of the light bulbs in the workshop when they blow out? Who’s going to drink hot chocolate with me and watch Hallmark movies in July?”

Kara laughed, shaking her head and deposited Alex on the floor, “I thought you hated the Hallmark channel.”

Alex simply rolled her eyes, “But I love spending time with my sister, and I love you, you big sap. I swore I wasn’t going to cry.”

Feeling slightly better Kara shoves her sister’s shoulder, a little too hard and catches her before she falls, “I love you too, dork. Don’t open the present I got you until you get back, pinky swear?”

Alex locks pinkies with Kara and kisses her thumb, “I’ll miss you. Please be safe. No breaking the sound barrier, watch out for pigeons because there’s a lot in Metropolis or so I’ve read. And when you see Kal remember to call him Clark Kent.”

“Got it, and don’t eat anything I don’t buy myself or anything not given to me by Clark, Lois, or Jonathan because there’s a high chance it’s not candy.”

Kara hugged Eliza for thirty minutes after that, and then Alex for another ten minutes before waving goodbye to Santa and all of the elves at his workshop. Metropolis wasn’t so far for her to fly, and she’d be home in no time.

She coasted through the peppermint sparkled glaciers, touched the northern lights, sailed through the skies above the Arctic Ocean, grazed the top of the Daily Planet, and landed atop the small two bedroom apartment building on the rent controlled side of town. Inside the windows of the corner apartment on the top floor, Kara saw Kal with his family, lighting candles, looking happy and calm. She decided to wait until morning to meet Kal, Clark, alone.

She listened into the city around her, all of the heartbeats like a million tiny hammers beating together, all except one. Kara flew the city, pinpointing the sound, admiring all of the lights on all the trees in all of the buildings and all the shining multicolored bulbs lining the streets. And it was there, in the tallest tower of the tallest building, one light shone through the wall to wall window, a small desk lamp in the large office. At the desk a woman with jet black hair and skin as white and fair as snow sat, typing away at her computer, nibbling on the pen in her mouth. She strained her long elegant neck, and stretched her arms above her head before getting back to work.

Kara glanced below the balcony to the street corner, finding what she knew the young woman needed. She floated down to the alley and walked into a coffee shop, took some time figuring out how to pay for a cup of coffee with the paper and coin money that Santa had given her before she left. Smiled and thanked the cashier for helping her, put one of the bills in his tip jar (it was a hundred.) She quickly flew into the woman’s office, left the coffee on her desk, and flew out of sight, feeling a little like Santa herself in the moment.

The woman grabbed the coffee absentmindedly and sipped, not expecting it to be so hot Kara sees her fanning her mouth and frantically searching the room with her eyes. When she turns to peer out her balcony, Kara sees her face, hard jaw line, soft endearing green eyes. She smiles as the woman screams and locks her balcony door as the windows go pitch black.

[let-it-raines]

I desperately need to see when Killian and Emma get married in catch me if you can please and thanks!

I mean, did you guys really think I could stay away from Catch Me If You Can for long? Obviously not! It was fun to get back into writing this universe (it’s actually been a few months), and I hope you guys continue to enjoy! Feel free to send me prompts of this universe 😊 

Found on ao3 | here |

Original story: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35| 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40

-/-

May 12th, 2021

“Are we out of milk?”

“We couldn’t possibly be out of milk.”

“I am looking in the fridge, and I don’t see any.”

“Darling, we went grocery shopping – ” Killian sighs and places his hands on his hips as he taps his foot. “Shit, when was the last time we bought food?”

Emma closes the refrigerator door and turns around before pulling her phone out of the waistband of her leggings, thumbing through the screen with her brows pinched together. “It says our last delivery order was April 13th. That was literally a month ago.”

“I mean, technically it was almost a month ago. Tomorrow it would be a month ago.”

“I would really love if you weren’t an ass right now because I’m hungry, and I really wanted a bowl of cereal.”

Killian shakes his head and steps up to Emma, moving into her space and placing his hands on her hips while his head dips down to her neck so he can kiss the skin there. There’s still the slightest hint of the scent of her perfume from last night, and it will never not be intoxicating. Emma will never not be intoxicating.

“It will take us five minutes to get milk, three if we run across the street instead of walking like civilized human beings.”

Emma hums and cranes her neck to give him more access to her while her hands wrap around his waist, nails scratching at his back. “And buy groceries in person like we’re living a decade ago? That seems like far too much effort.”

He nips at her skin in a place he knows she likes. “I’ll make you brownies if we go.”

“You really know the way to a girl’s heart.”

“I know the way to yours.”

“Ooh, that was cheesy.”

“We can buy cheese too.”

Emma scoffs and hits his back before moving her head so she can lightly brush her lips against his, quick and fleeting until it isn’t. Life is always nonstop, but once the season starts, it’s an entirely different ballgame. Literally. Either one or both of them are always on the road, and while their work generally happens at the same time, Killian has training and practice and PT while Emma has meetings that usually happen at the rare times when Killian is home. Then there’s the press Ariel has Killian doing lately, and it’s leaving very little time to stand in the kitchen and curl his tongue around Emma’s while her fingers tug on his hair.

Glorious. God, he always loves when she does that. Her hands are like magic.

“You’re very good at this.”

“Kissing you? I would hope so. Otherwise I don’t know why you would have stayed with me for this long.”

Emma’s smile presses into his. “Two years isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things.”

“Aye, but the marriage license we filled out last week says you’re planning on far more than two years.”

Her lips run across his jaw, and a shiver works down Killian’s spine and settles at the bottom as his jeans tighten. “Divorces work. I could divorce you the day after we got married if I wanted.”

“Would you?”

“I could. It would keep the marriage fresh and spicy.”

“I would really appreciate it if you never described our relationship using those two words ever again.”

“Why? That’s what all the old women tell me when they give me unsolicited relationship advice.”

“People not being able to shut their mouths is the exact reason why I didn’t want to announce the engagement.”

“We didn’t, ah – ” Emma’s body shivers at his touch and he smirks into her skin before his hands move down to her leggings, fumbling the slightest bit until he feels flesh. “We didn’t announce it. I started wearing a ring, and the tabloids put it together.”

“Fucking tabloids are the scum of the earth.”

Killian’s hand moves again as he gently nudges Emma back to the countertops, his lips and his teeth only ever moving away from her enough to speak. Her skin is so damn warm and softer than anything he’s ever felt, and he loves getting lost in her. It’s a high greater than any win.

“This doesn’t seem like we’re getting milk,” Emma sighs as he helps boost her up onto the countertop, “and you’re going to kill your knees.”

He arches a brow even though she can’t see it. “What makes you think I’m about to get down on my knees?”

“Because I know you, and I know what we’re heading toward.”

“Awfully presumptuous of you, Swan.”

“Ah, well, if that wasn’t what you were intending, I’d highly suggest it.”

Killian huffs and moves away from Emma’s neck until he’s kissing Emma, pressing his mouth against hers and drinking her in. He’s the luckiest bastard in the world, and for all of the good in his life, there is nothing better than Emma. She changed so much for him, continues to still do so, and he’d be happy to spend every day of his life with her just like this.

Just he and Emma.

Just them.

He pulls back from the kiss, sucking in a breath of air, before resting his forehead against hers. Her hands are still in his hair, his hands are on the outside of her thighs, and he can’t seem to focus on anything but the way her nose presses into his cheek exactly like it’s always belonged there, like it’s always fit there.

Like she’s always fit.

“Marry me.”

“What?”

“Marry me, Emma.” He smiles into her lips and then pulls back enough so he can see her eyes. They’ve always been a ridiculously gorgeous shade of green, but right now, they’ve somehow got a hint of blue. “Right now, today.”

Her hand runs through his hair until fingers are pressing against his cheek. “We have a venue booked for forty days from now, have spent far too long picking out cake because you’re a dessert snob, and I have a ridiculously expensive white dress in the closet. And you want to get married today?”

“I want to marry you every day.”

“You’re on it today with the romantic declarations.”

“Are you saying there’s a day where I’m not?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

Killian laughs before kissing Emma again. He can’t seem to stop that. “Well, while I’m having a good day for romantic declarations, why don’t we grab our marriage license, head down to the clerk’s office, and get married? Just you and me, Swan? It’ll be great. We can still have the big party with our family, you can still look gorgeous in that dress, but this would be – ”

“Just us,” Emma finishes for him. She pulls back and stares down at him, brows furrowed. “Are you serious? You want to get married today, twenty-nine? For real?”

“If you’d like. If not, we can wait. We have all of these other plans, and I don’t – ”

Emma smacks her lips against his and cups both of his cheeks. “Let’s get married today. Can you give me fifteen minutes to put some dry shampoo in my hair and change into clothes without stains?”

“What? You don’t want to get married looking like you do?”

Emma winks. “What can I say? I’m a woman of standards.”

Killian chuckles and moves away from Emma until she’s hopping down from the countertop and tugging her shirt down and her leggings up. Her cheeks are absolutely flushed, and she’s got the beginning of beard burn on her chin. “Oh, and twenty-nine?”

“Yeah?”

“I fully expect you to finish what you started here when we get back.”“I was planning on it.”

It takes more than fifteen minutes for them to leave the apartment. Emma decides to fix her hair and put on a little makeup while he takes a shower and trims his scruff, but a little under an hour later, their hands are intertwined as they ride down the elevator to the lobby so they can get a cab to the courthouse. He’d drive, but honestly, parking is awful, and his nerves might be a little too much for that right now.

He plays in front of thousands of people all the time, but he’s got nerves over marrying the woman he’s known he was going to marry since almost the beginning of their time together.

This is decidedly different than playing baseball.

This is not his job. This is his life, their life, and as beautiful as he’s sure Emma will look in her wedding dress that she and Elsa found, she looks just as beautiful now in a long pink floral dress. They’d both debated on jeans and a nice shirt, but then Emma had decided on this dress while he pulled on a pair of navy slacks and a white button-down. It’s as if they’re going on a date or having to dress up for work, but that’s not what it is.

Killian still can’t quite believe that they’re doing this on a random Wednesday when they had so many other plans.

Not that their lives have ever gone according to plan.

“What are we going to do about a witness?” Emma asks as her hand squeezes his over his thigh. “Should we call someone and see if they can show up? Oh shit. Are we telling our families we did this?”

“Do you want to tell our families we did this?”

Her leg starts bouncing. “Not really. I mean, I do, but I – ”

“Want to keep this just between us?”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs, resting her cheek on his shoulder, “I think so. David and Mary Margaret will probably be pissed if they ever found out.”

“Liam and Elsa too. Anna most of all. Oh, shit, Addy and Lucy really will be. We’ll definitely have to wait until after the wedding to tell them.”

“If we ever tell them.”

“Yeah,” Killian agrees, “if we ever tell them.  I’m sure we’ll be able to find someone at the courthouse to be our witness. I’m rather charming. I think I could convince someone.”

“Unless they’re a Red Sox fan.”

“We’re in New York.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”Killian squeezes her hand, both to reassure Emma but also himself. “It’ll all be okay. If we can’t find anyone, I’d be happy to marry you tomorrow.”

It’s not long before they’re walking down the hallway of the city clerk’s office and then standing in line with at least ten other couples. Some are in dresses and tuxes, surrounded with families and friends, and Killian checks with Emma one more time to make sure there’s no wariness on her face over them having none of their loved ones here. All he can see is a beaming smile.

“Hey,” someone starts, turning to Killian, “are you – ”

“Aye.”

“Holy shit. Your 2019 win was just…damn, man. That was awesome. What do you think your odds are this year? I know last year sucked, but I’ve got hope for this year.”

“I think we’ve got a chance, but the season just started, you know? Anything can happen.” Killian reaches his hand out and shakes the man’s hand. “Killian Jones. And you are?”

“Ben McKinley. This is my wife, Caroline. We’re here for my brother and his soon-to-be husband.”

“It’s nice to meet you both. Say, Ben, can you do us a favor and be a witness for us since your brother is in line behind us?”

His brows go to his hairline. “Are you two here to get married?”

“Aye, but I’m afraid we didn’t bring anyone with us. You’d be doing us a big favor.”

“We’d love to do that,” Caroline adds in. “And Ben and I promise to be discreet.”

“Well, if it does leak, we’ll know how to find you.” Emma slaps his shoulder until he turns around to look at her. “What?”

“Did you just threaten them?”

He winks. Absolutely not.

It takes thirty minutes before their names are called, and then, within a blink of an eye, the ceremony is being performed and he and Emma are saying “I do.”

He never thought two words would feel so damn good.

He also never thought he’d have to politely be asked to stop making out with his wife in a courthouse, but life is full of surprises.

His wife.

It was all worth it. Every second of it. Of today. Of the past two years.

Everything.

“Hey, Jones,” Emma giggles as they walk out of the clerk’s office, hand in hand just like they’ve been for the past hour. They have new rings on their fingers, and he can’t stop running his thumb over Emma’s wedding band. He’s going to hate when they have to take them off, but it’s all worth it. “You do realize we’re still out of milk, right?”

His chuckle starts in his stomach and works its way all over his body, warming him more than the sun does. “Is that really what you’re focused on right now? Your cereal.”

“Oh, no,” Emma laughs, turning on her heels and wrapping her arms around his neck, “I was thinking of you making me brownies like you promised. I was also thinking of how much I love you.”

His hands settle on her hips. “What was winning in your mind? Your love for me or the brownies?”

“I feel like the answer will disappoint you.”

“Never.” Killian dips his head down and slants his lips over Emma’s, breathing her in. “I love you, even if you love brownies more than you love me.”

“Never,” Emma promises. “I think we’re going to have to run out of milk more often if it leads to days like this.”“I think we’re also out of eggs.”“Huh. Wonder what kind of trouble we’ll get into tomorrow when we go out to get the eggs.”

“Darling, I need eggs to cook the brownies. All this time, and you still don’t know basic recipes.”

Her smile is still the most brilliant he’s ever seen, and the blue is back in those green eyes of hers. “That’s what I have you for.”“Ah, so that’s why you married me.”

“It’s one of the reasons.”“What are the others?” 

“Take me home, and you’ll find out.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

-/-

-/-

CMIYC tag list: @killianswannn @dorisquinn​ @onepunintendid​ @authorarsinoe​ @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @carpedzem​ @tornadoamy​ ​

[blarrghe]

I got tagged by @oediebees​, thanks, these are fun! and I’ll tag umm @lavellanhunter​ @serphena​ @midnightprelude​ if y’all feel like it

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

curly hair don’t care (I don’t brush my hair I comb it in the shower sometimes...the comb is blue) 

2. A food you never eat?

Meat, dairy.... a bunch of things that hurt my tummy (except I eat them anyway oops)

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

I run pretty cold. Poor circulation lyfeeee

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Hangin with the bae learning about ancient history because we are nerds. 

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

like chocolate bar? I can’t eat chocolate and it makes me sad. I bought a vegan white chocolate bar at the health food store a while ago for like 5$ it was good but like. it was also five whole dollars. 

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

NHL game once. There was a fight on the ice and then in the stands XD

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

“Love you, bee” yes we are very cute thank

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Stop asking me about things I’m not allowed to eat waah. I bought vegan icecream and it made me sick also lol so literally just. let’s go with rainbow sherbert. (it used to be cookie dough ice cream stop doing this to me)

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. Do you like your wallet?

My best friend and I bought matching star wars wallets a couple years ago and we both still use them so yeah. it’s got the millennium falcon on it and it came with a keychain that I eventually gave to a kid at work.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Leftover veggie stir fry with black beans! I made it yesterday and it was pretty good if I say so myself. 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

I haven’t bought any new clothes since like, October? 

13. The last sporting event you watched?

uhhhhhhhhh does walking by a soccer game in the park count

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

I make it with salt and nutritional yeast! and sometimes garlic too. Highly recommend. 

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?

Actual text? Coworker. 

16. Ever go camping?

As much as I can! Went every summer as a kid, and last summer went on a month long cross-country camping roadtrip. Probably won’t get to go again for a while though. 

17. Do you take vitamins?

I buy them and then forget does that count

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

I can count on one hand the number of times I have gone to a church service. And if you discount funerals then I’m pretty sure it’s...2? (and if you wanna do the thing and make it synagogue then still only for the holidays and not in years and years) 

19. Do you have a tan?

Pretty sure I am actually incapable of having a tan. 

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

I probably shouldn’t be eating either. Homemade pizza with flatbread and vegan cheese is pretty good tho. 

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

Not usually 

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

I just have a large collection of various cute patterened socks with like, cats and stuff on em. Current faves are the ones that make my feets look like sharks =]

23. Ever drive above the speed limit?

speed of traffic but also, I don’t have a car so. 

24. What terrifies you?

ummm the feeling you get when you’re stuck under water and think your gonna drown isn’t very fun. 

25. Look to your left what do you see?

pillows, cart thing with books on it, closet. 

26. What chore do you hate?

changing the cat litter kinda sucks 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

Uh. Australia, I guess? 

28. What is your favorite soda?

I’m a big fan of buying random overpriced weird flavoured drinks so probably like, the blue jones soda or something. But realistically, cream soda and gingerale. 

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

I don’t have a car so. I also don’t get fast food much tho. 

30. Who was the last person you talked to?

The boy!

31. Favorite cut of beef?

Literally no idea haven’t eaten it in over ten years 

32. Last song you listened to?

Currently listening to “If The World Was Ending” by Gracie and Rachel, I don’t even know if I like it yet it just came on my spotify release radar thing. 

...

yeah it’s aight. 

33. Last book you read?

Last book I finished was the Silmarillion. Currently working my way through Jewel’s autobiography, some book on mindfulness, and Unfinished Tales. 

34. Favorite day of the week?

Honestly I’m a big fan of Sundays. They’re my bread day.

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Probably. Let’s not find out. 

36. How do you like your coffee?

Cappuccinos are my fave but usually just strong with oatmilk and a little sugar. 

37. Favorite pair of shoes?

The knee-high boots I have that lace up the back, especially since I got undue flak for em once and the spite makes it better. 

38. At what time do you usually go to bed?

Time is meaningless.

39. At what time do you normally get up?

See above. 

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?

Both are nice!

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

Currently just two small soft throw blankets because it’s been hot af. One is a spiderweb one I bought in the halloween section and the other is star wars lmao. 

42. Describe your kitchen plates?

Like, four matching ones that we never use, two matching ones of a different pattern, one random blue one, and a bunch of takeout container things I reuse. 

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Nah depends on the mood. Wine is good, ciders are good, some beers are good, and I used to bartend so making fancy cocktails is also sometimes good. 

44. Do you play cards?

Only when camping and it rains. 

45. Can you change a tire?

On my bike sure. Someone taught me how to change a car tire once but I wouldn’t test it. 

46. What is your favorite province?

Probably British Columbia.

47. Favorite job you ever had?

The one I have now! Teaching/counselling at an elementary/jr. high school :) 

48. How did you get your biggest scar?

Don’t really have any big scars. I do have a small one on my face from a kid at my old job. 

49. What did you do today that made someone happy?

Had some quality hangs earlier, watched a movie, cuddled, etc. 

[scribbles97]

Left Behind - Chapter 9

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13

Read On Ao3

Shout out to @gumnut-logic for literally writing part of this for me I still sit and read that bit and just adore how perfectly accurate your description is! Thank you so so very much <3 

Also shout out to everyone who has read and commented, you guys are the best and spur me on to keep writing despite the madness at home! Love you all <3

Much like Tanusha had been, Kyrano was propped up in his bed when Lucy entered. Unlike his daughter, he was bright eyed, even with one swollen shut. His glare didn’t phase her, International Business Woman Lucille Tracy had faced plenty of men that didn’t see her fit for their world of work, a mother of five boys and godmother to two unruly girls had only affirmed her skills of persuasion. 

“You were shot four times Kyrano.” She stated as she stood at the end of her bed, “Stop fighting the goddamn drugs and rest.”

His good eye was accusing as he glared at her, “You sent her after me.”

She had hoped that he would at least let himself recover slightly before starting with the argument. The man was as stubborn as any of them in the top circle, and hurting. Lucy knew well what that could do to someone, no matter how calm they usually were.

“Good job she did.” Val bit back from where she stood at Lucy’s shoulder, “Or else you’d be dead and we’d be arranging another funeral alongside Jeff’s.”

Her heart froze at the reminder. All along she had insisted it wasn’t a funeral, she and Sally weren’t ready to face something quite so final when there had been no body to bury. 

Kyrano swallowed, licking along the red line of blood where his lip was swollen, “You were meant to keep her safe.”

“I was keeping you both safe.” She rolled her eyes, “You’re just angry that a pair of twenty year olds could keep up with you. I mean, what was this? The girls said they saw what was coming a mile off, yet you walked into it intentionally. Did you want them to kill you?”

His growl was low in his throat, “I’m not suicidal Lucy.”

“Then why the hell did you walk in there unarmed, and allow them to shoot you?” She snapped back, anger that one of her oldest friends had put himself at risk getting the better of her, “You told me you would keep yourself safe!” 

He sighed, his good eye resting closed as he swallowed again, “I’d hoped to get Gaat’s attention, find out just what he had hoped to achieve.”

“Instead it looks like you managed to scare him off.”

Lucy turned at the deep, english voice, straightening slightly as the blonde man closed the door behind him.

“Hugh! How did you get here so fast?”

He grinned, the smile reaching his one eye as he hugged her shoulders, “You’re not the only one with supersonic planes, darling.”

She frowned at him a moment, searching for further information between those cryptic brows of his. He still looked care worn, the scar peeking out from under his eyepatch enough to ruffian his appearance despite the elegant suit and neat coiffure. Hugh was a dichotomy. A pony tail in an expensive suit. A ruffian tailored to the nines. The cane he carried was merely an affection that could take out the legs from under an attacker swifter than the blink of that single eye. yet she had seen the man cradle his daughter with such tenderness her heart had clenched. A man to respect, beware and to love. Hugh Creighton-Ward was never who you expected him to be.

“Where’s Slyvia?” Val frowned, glancing out of the door. 

His blue eye darkened, “Still with Penny, she’s shaken after seeing what happened, but Slyvie is going through it with her… a debrief if you will.” He shook his head with a sigh, “She told me to come and see what was going on here and fill you in about Gaat.”

“What do you mean?” Kyrano murmured, eye open again, watching the older man, “What happened to him?”

Hugh pulled away from Lucy, watching Kyrano closely for a moment before he spoke, “We had a mole in contact with him, he’s been following him since the… incident. Word got through that you were seeking your brother out, and when that happened all contact was cut from Gaat’s end of things.”

“It’s only been hours,” Val frowned, “He might come back.”

Hugh shook his head, “No, the way he vanished just doesn’t fit. Our mole was in his hideout, it’s been cleared, vacant as if nobody ever was there. Gaat has turned to a ghost, and we’re not going to find him by any standard means.”

She could see where it was going, more time spent hiding away from their daughters seeking out a common enemy that had hurt them all as a group too long ago. It had happened once before, one man understanding another's pain as he grieved for his wife. One daughter sent off to boarding school, another sent to live with her own brood. Lucy wasn’t going to see the same happen again. 

“You’re not going after him.” She told them, “Nobody is going after Gaat unless he presents himself as an immediate threat to Tracy Industries or International Rescue. I am not risking anyone else down that avenue.”

“Lucy,” Kyrano breathed softly, “You can’t…”

She turned on him, fear and anger merging into one beast, “You almost died today Kyrano, Gaat wouldn’t have hesitated. Then who would have been here to protect Tanusha?”

Her words silenced him, his eyes dropped as he looked away. 

Lucy took the chance to turn on Hugh, “You and Slyvia as well Hugh. I’m not watching anyone go chasing ghosts, not after what your two girls saw today. Is it not enough that Penelope thought she had lost both her parents once?” She gestured to the patch covering the eye that no longer worked, “I have five boys grieving their father right now. I will not let our two girls go through the same experience.”

Blue held brown as he watched her for a long moment, lips pressed hard in a thin line. 

“Alright,” He nodded, breaking the look and turning to Kyrano, “She has a point.”

“Agreed.” Kyrano murmured, “I always taught Kayo not to chase ghosts.”

Hugh tilted his head with a frown as he watched Kyrano, “How long has he been out of surgery?”

“Ten minu--” Lucy started.

“Twenty actually.” He cut her off, “I was in here for ten minutes before you got here.”

“Bloody hell,” Hugh shook his head, “Stop fighting the drugs and go to sleep Kyrano.”

Val folded her arms, “We’ll get them to move you and Kay to the same room, Tia, Jude, and Pedro won’t be long.”

Nodding towards the door, Hugh took a breath, “You girls go and have a break, I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t get up to anything he shouldn’t.”

Lucy couldn’t help but scoff. Hugh was a bad influence, she had learned as much early on in his and Jeff’s friendship, one spurring on the others crazy schemes without much thought of the potential outcome. 

“Yeah right,” Val tutted, “How about you go and sit with your daughter and I’ll stop here.”

Lucy had to smile at the mock glare Hugh gave her, shaking his head as he turned to the door, “You ladies don’t trust me?”

“We know you too well,” She tutted as she guided him away, “Jeff told us everything, remember?”

He stopped, immediately falling behind and forcing her to turn to face him in the hallway. 

“How are you doing Luce?” He murmured, “Really?”

She paused, looking to him as she shoved her hands into her jeans pockets, “I still don’t want to believe it, not really. The boys need me to be strong though, and the business, and IR. Stopping to grieve isn’t really an option right now.”

He nodded, stepping towards her and reaching out to touch her arm, “I learned the hard way Luce, you have to give yourself that time, or else you’ll find yourself in a worse position later on.”

Shaking her head, she swallowed hard, cursing the lump that had formed in her throat, “I had the time before. Now, I just need to move on.”

The eyebrow he raised was unconvinced as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “You’ve got plenty of people here for you Luce, don’t forget that. You need to look after yourself and not worry about everyone else.”

Snorting, she pulled away from him slightly, wiping her eyes as she shook her head, “I’ve got my head of security and his daughter in hospital, one son about to be a fully fledged IR operative, another son training for space flight, a third up to something I need to find out about, and a fourth one training for the Olympics. Alan hates school. Sally is… I’m not even sure how she is, she just keeps going. And Val and Lee are fighting as much now as they did after losing the baby.” 

Hugh frowned, blonde eyebrows dipping as he glanced back over his shoulder, “Really? They both--”

“They’re keeping it amicable in public.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair, “You’re speaking to the wrong person if you want me to just not worry about everyone.”

He shook his head as he drew her back into the hug, “Just don’t forget to look after yourself at the same time darling,” He murmured, rubbing her back, “If you need anyone to take something over for you, you know I’ll do what I can.”

Of course, she knew Hugh had been there. Had drowned in his own problems and struggled to find the words to ask for help. His offer was perhaps the lifeline she hadn’t realised she had needed. 

“The business needs more focus than I can give it right now,” She sniffed, pulling back to wipe at her cheeks with her hand, “There’s not many people I could trust it to realistically.”

Hugh nodded, “Say no more, I can do whatever you want me to. Get the legal team to divert anything you can’t manage to me and I’ll see to it that it’s sorted.”

She had to swallow again to dislodge the mass that had reappeared in her throat, “Thank you.”

His lips pressed to the side of her head as she squeezed her shoulders tight, “We’ll get through this darling, I promise you.”

Hugh was never who anyone expected him to be, but everything that Lucy trusted him to be. The man’s promise was his word, an oath that what he said would be done come hell or high water. 

That he had been where Lucy stood only solidified what he had said, making it that much more believable that it too would pass and life would find a new normal. Clinging onto his jacket, she took a moment to just catch her breath, feeling like for the first time in weeks, her head was perhaps just above the water.

[entwinedmoon]

John Torrington: Reflections

(Previous posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Today, January 1, 2020, is the 174th anniversary of John Torrington’s death. Him dying on New Year’s Day must have dampened whatever celebrations the crew were most likely enjoying, a dark day in a quite literally dark month, as the sun would not return for some time. He would have been buried in that endless night, during a snowstorm (a layer of snow was still preserved on top of his coffin), the first death in what had so far been a successful expedition. A death so soon may have worried the crew, but since it was due to an illness he’d brought with him, it may have just been considered a fluke. They may not have been concerned, still thinking they would make it through and discover the last piece of the Northwest Passage. If they had succeeded, Torrington would have been a minor footnote in the history of a triumphant journey, his grave a small curiosity for anyone who may pass by. But no one made it home from the Franklin Expedition, and Torrington is now seen as an early warning sign of the tragedy awaiting the rest of the men.

Why is it that, after all these years, anyone still talks about Torrington? What is the fascination with him and the other men buried on Beechey? I know what draws me to his story, and while I can’t speak for everyone, I think there are at least some people who share the same reasons.

So what intrigues me about John Torrington? Why did I write this series, spanning eleven blog posts and over 25,000 words (that’s half a book!), about a 174-years-dead Victorian sailor, spending my spare time researching and dedicating long hours to studying his life and death?

In trying to pin down just what fascinates me about Torrington, I went through some of my old writing, and I found this little snippet from an essay I never finished. It was written almost ten years ago, on January 13, 2010:

It was all John Torrington’s fault. I couldn’t sleep because of that frozen grimace, mouth and eyes both slightly open—eyes, intact, seriously, staring back at me. He just stares, cold, frozen, dead. I’m not likely to go on a polar expedition any time soon and possibly die from lead-tainted food or whatever killed him, but it’s not that idea that frightens me. He stares at me in the night, in the corners, in the reflections in the moonlit mirror on my closet door, in the folds of the dirty laundry on the floor, he’s there, staring at me. Going to the bathroom at night is the worst, walking through the dark hallway, knowing he’s following me, just behind me, out of sight, but still manages to jump ahead to stare at me in the split second before the bathroom light comes on, inches from my face in the thick darkness, but then he runs and hides again in the shadows of the hall, lurking, waiting to follow me back to my room.

Sometimes it’s Otzi or Jaunita or Ida Girl or Cherchen Man. Never King Tut or Ramses II for some reason though. But John has always stood above the rest, just the memory of a picture haunting me.

As you can see, I had a slightly different attitude toward Torrington back then. To explain this, let me start from the beginning.

When I was about seven or eight, my older brother brought home a copy of Buried in Ice from school, where he was learning about the Franklin Expedition. He of course shared the pictures in the book with me and my older sister because he thought they were creepy and that’s what you do when you’re a kid, you share creepy stuff to try to scare your siblings. I’m in my early thirties now, so the memory has faded over the years, but there’s still a lot that stands out even now. I remember eating a particular type of corn chip that to this day I associate the flavor of with lead poisoning. My brother told me about how the brains of the three mummies had turned into a yellow liquid—something we thought was gross but also cool for some reason. I remember that there was no way to just flip the book over to cover up the picture of Torrington on the front cover because—oh goodie—there was a picture of him on the back too. My brother and I commented on the golden color of Torrington’s discolored skin (I don’t know why we thought “golden” instead of yellow—it sounds more poetic to call it “golden” but that was certainly not our intention). I also remember that later, after my brother had returned the book to school but we were still haunted by the images, we couldn’t recall the names of Hartnell and Braine, so we called them Big Head and Snarl Face instead. But we remembered the name Torrington, probably because he was featured more prominently in the book. And due to that prominence, Torrington was the one I would think of when lying in bed at night, watching shadows in the closet morph into monsters.

To try to combat my fear, I used a trick I’d learned where I turn the scary thing into something ridiculous (this was before Harry Potter was published, but it’s the same theory as how to fight a Boggart). I put the three mummies into a long-running story that I’d made up in my head—and I made them undead idiots. Like zombie versions of Beavis and Butthead. Yeah, I did that. I made them weird funny sidekicks in my story, but it didn’t really stop me being afraid when I saw pictures of them again.

Remarkably, despite being terrified of Torrington, I became obsessed with mummies as a kid, an obsession that continues to this day. I would marvel over pictures of Tollund Man, Ötzi, and the Qilakitsoq mummies of Greenland.

But not John Torrington.

Whenever I would flip through a book about mummies, if I encountered a picture of Torrington, I would slam my hand over the page to cover it. I would be creeped out by other mummies, but it was never to the same level as it was with Torrington. And yet, I would still be compelled to peek, even after covering the page. I would regret it immediately, but there was something that made me want to look, even though looking at him was the last thing I wanted to do.

Over the years, Torrington would find his way into a few more stories of mine, in some form or another. In college, I wrote a short story for a fiction writing class where the picture of Torrington on the cover of Frozen in Time started talking to a young woman, representing her repressed thoughts and fears (he cracked a lot of jokes in that one). At that point in time, however, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to read Frozen in Time. I had bought a copy a while ago—the 2004 revised edition—and when it arrived from Amazon I flipped through it, telling myself that I was an adult and I loved mummies and I could bravely face the pictures of these boogeymen from my childhood.

That last part turned out to be incorrect. Several weeks of being too afraid to turn off the light at night ensued. I wouldn’t read the book for another eight or nine years.

But eventually I did read it, multiple times in fact, and I’m no longer terrified of pictures of Torrington, or Hartnell and Braine. That all started a little less than two years ago.

It began with another story idea I had that incorporated Torrington, one I have yet to write. I thought I should do some research into him first if I was going to include him. Around the same time, The Terror was airing on AMC. The exact timeline is a little hazy for me, because the story idea actually first came to me at the end of 2017, but The Terror first aired in March 2018. I can’t remember if I had the idea to add Torrington to my story before I started watching The Terror or not, but I think it was before.

Once I started researching Torrington and the Franklin Expedition, I quickly became obsessed. I had poked around Franklin research before, but my fear of Torrington would always hold me back. I would peer through my fingers at pictures and facts, but I could never do more than that. But now I was hooked.

My childhood nightmares were there at first, just out of the corner of my eye, but my research started to shift those in strange ways. I had always seen Torrington as this ancient, towering monster, but then I discovered that he was only twenty when he died and stood at only five-foot-four. I’m older than him. I’m taller than him. His desiccated body weighed less than ninety pounds, which I definitely weigh more than. Basically, if he came charging out of the closet, I could take him.

But what really drew me in was realizing that we knew so little about him. I could look at a picture of his face, frozen in time, but I couldn’t reach back into the past to ask him about himself. I’ve known about him almost my whole life, with him skulking in a corner of my brain, stepping out of the shadows every now and then, but I didn’t really know who he was as a person. The Franklin Expedition can drive people mad with the mystery of what happened to the men after they entered the Arctic, but suddenly I became obsessed with knowing what had happened before the expedition. Who was John Torrington? Who was this guy that has occupied my dreams and nightmares, who has taken up a permanent residence in my mind ever since I first laid eyes on him? Who was this young man who has somehow been a part of my life for so long, but whom I know so little about?

I know I’m not the only one who has been asking these questions, or who has been living with the Franklin ice mummies in their heads. I’ve met some amazing people online who are just as obsessed, if not more so. Thanks to this series, I’ve had people contact me about their own interest in Torrington and the Beechey Boys and how they understand my love for them.

Many times before, I’ve attempted to put in words just what draws me to mummies. In 2011 I even started a long-since-abandoned blog about mummies called Digging the Dead, where I tried to explain my interest. But I’m going to try my best now to pin down what has compelled me to study Torrington, and why he keeps popping up in my life.

I think part of the appeal of Torrington—and Hartnell and Braine—is the shockingly alive appearance of their preserved bodies, with some morbid curiosity over their undead vibe thrown in. The preservation of a body, preventing the natural process of decay, is fascinating. It’s a type of immortality, although one the mummy doesn’t get to enjoy. Torrington looks like he could get up and walk around—possibly in a zombie-like way, but still. He looks more like a real person than some mummies, like bog bodies that became too twisted by the weight of the peat or desert mummies that have a freeze-dried appearance. But a large part of the fascination with Torrington, and mummies in general, is that it’s like touching a piece of the past. When we see their pictures, we’re looking at something that is from a time long gone, but they seem so very present, so tangible in the here and now. They are time travelers, in a way, and this is our way of reaching out to them across the years.

And with the mystery of the Franklin Expedition, Torrington, Hartnell, and Braine add an extra layer of intrigue as well as reminding us that there were more than just officers on board. We have pictures of Franklin, Crozier, Fitzjames, and many of the lieutenants and mates, but the ordinary sailors and marines didn’t have the luxury of having their pictures taken. What they looked like has been lost to time, but the preserved remains of Torrington and the Beechey Boys literally puts a human face on the ordinary men of the expedition, the ones who never wrote memoirs or had journals that were preserved for posterity. Men who have been largely forgotten by history, who don’t get the same reverence we give the captains, who don’t get memorials or landmarks in their names. When thinking of the men of the Franklin Expedition setting sail for their destiny, it’s easy to see Torrington on deck—alive, his striped shirt billowing in the wind as they sail toward Lancaster Sound—and to imagine that these were working ships, fully manned with ordinary people who led regular lives and had dreams of what they would do when they returned home to double pay and the fame of having helped discover the Northwest Passage.

But on January 1, 1846, those dreams winked out for one of those men. On this day, I think not about how well Torrington’s body has defied time and decomposition, but about who sat with him as he passed. Was he alone? Did he have friends on the crew? And what of his family back home? Did they toast him and his journey, not knowing that he was gone?

Who said a prayer for John Torrington 174 years ago?

If it’s not too late, I think I’ll say one for him today.

<<Back

Torrington Series Masterlist

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

         #ABitterLifeThroughCinema’s WOKE! Film Reviews

     The Top Ten (+1) Best Movies of 2018 and where to find them!

                                                          by

                                           Lucas Avram Cavazos

+1…11. Overlord  Having its premiere at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord not only happened to be one of the fave films screened there this past festival, but this cinematic fantasy is an all-too-real and stark portrayal of a horror that actually occurred, and it deserves a nod from the Barcelona film critic family, so here it goes. Duly noted, I’d say. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. They land in provincial France and the plot sets out to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Europeans and Jews. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true, if you believe the words of JJ Abrams. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. (now available On Demand and DVD)

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs There once was a film called O Brother Where Art Thou? While this is not its sequel, there is a sharp-witted vein to this film that could only be crafted and gifted to us by the Coen Brothers. What a hoot it is, even if it is a rather darkly-tinted hue of that hoot and humour. It is also one of their finest in years. Revolving around the singing cowpoke Buster Scruggs (Tim Blake Nelson) and five other tales brought to us with the commonly-threaded theme of death in often brutally funny ways, this film is a fine return to oddball form from two of the finest sibling directors of all time. Starring Liam Neeson, James Franco, Zoe Kazan, even Tyne Daly and so many in its vignettes, and that acting star power fuses this Western comedy into new territory for the brothers. Their previous works set in the west always seemed to be re-hashing works of years gone by but here, with their usage of almost comic-book-like details and witty banter make this much more enjoyable than their other historical works like O Bother and their remake of True Grit. Best western in absolute years! (available on Netflix or VOD)

9. Eighth Grade This poignant little film, which should have been wide-released everywhere the world over, is given fierce and bittersweet star power by Elsie Fisher, protagonist and student at the heart of this film. Comedian Bo Turnham has brought us the quintessential coming-of-tweenage story and along with Fisher, everyone in this film is so perfectly placed in their roles, especially Josh Hamilton as her dad, who deserves some nominations for this film but is unlikely to get any. Telling the story of 13-year old Kayla, we the audience get a sneak-peek into the minds and lives of today’s young adults. From her simple YouTube videos made to encourage other young kids to her obvious desire to fit in with older kids to her insecurity with boys, this film paints a stark reality that too many have lived through and this little indie film deserves aplomb from anywhere it can get it! (now available On Demand and DVD)

8. A Star is Born I skipped the critics’ screening of this film for the mere fact that I couldn’t bear to see if the acting and plot lines were another torrid take on a much-redone film. Even into the holiday season, I had not yet seen it and then when I did, I certainly took back any reservations. Bradley Cooper’s update of the film starring himself and Lady Gaga is just about as good as everyone said it was, and that was beyond refreshing to note post-viewing. In many ways, I feel that Cooper is likely revealing a few things about himself with the guise of “it’s a movie” being a nice cover; in some ways, he gives us what I believe are hints of his covert life, and it’s with Gaga’s turn as Ally that we really see him shine beyond the shtick of his character, country-rocker Jackson Maine. In a tad corny-tad, gripping way that takes hold the moment you see Gaga, let’s be frank and real, this film goes on to detail a Diet Coke version of the grim realities that often detail too many a tale of celebrity in Hollywood. Without revealing too many details of the film’s plot and denouement, we are looking at a necessary conversation about alcoholism, drug addiction and fame (plus a lack of ’NO’ men/women in many relationships) that needs to addressed for all ages. Well done, Mr. Cooper Goes to the Oscars. (At select screens, On Demand & DVD)

7. El Angel Incidentally, this may be the first time in a rather long time that I say something good about Argentinian men, so do take note. Telling the true story of fresh-faced boy killer Carlos Robledo Puch, played to Oscar-worthy perfection by newcomer Lorenzo Ferro, the masterful detail to which director Luis Ortega has crafted this arthouse meets dramedy-thriller is astounding and easily touches heights set by dePalma and even, dare I say it, Scorcese. We follow young Carlitos Puch, who is just nearing the edge of seventeen, as takes up with a rough and tough family of his devilishly attractive school chum Ramon, played by the spirited Chino Darin, son of Ricardo Darin. But as Carlitos comes to find out, his street crimes can easily be paved to real ones and his sadistic tendencies suddenly yet gradually paint a picture of someone who is in part desperate for attention and tacceptance and in part a fairly smart, well-to-do young adult. He parlays his sociopathy at pubescence into psychopathy with time, and this film will likely be, but should definitely not be, forgotten come awards and Best Of lists time.(available On Demand and DVD)

6. Black Panther As Oscar season comes to a head, it is worth talking about one of the most striking films that you’ll see for a while. Black Panther is that good, not only because of its genre but also because of its message: that seeking freedom through recreating systems of oppression will only extend the ill-treatment and broken nature we find ourselves in nowadays. Set in the fictional African nation of Wakanda, protagonist King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) brings us the first real black superhero from the Marvel universe. With a cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordan, the acting is beyond impressive. What is even more amazing, however, is how the plot power-plays many elements of our world’s current political climate. (now available On Demand and DVD)

5. Chappaquiddick Another film which is nothing short of striking in its relevance to the current political situation in the USA. Senator Ted Kennedy was the only remaining Kennedy that I was familiar with throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. Jason Clarke as the Massachusetts senator is astounding, as is the cut of his jib and chin, although the accent was a tad weak, to be ever sincere. This is a complete revelation on the many details that were only gingerly touched upon during the course of the week following the death which this movie is detailing . As the facts are laid out in the film, it astounds me that the American people continued to vote and elect Kennedy for decades after. This is a study on arrogance, class and governmental ambiguity. And if that was the case with liberals in the Sixties, how much more so with conservatives in this digital age? My favourite film of last year’s BCN Film Festival. (now available On Demand and DVD)

4. Private Life Good Lawd this is such a heartwarming/breaking story with the finest elements of believable comedy and situational realism that define the art of the classic Gen X film from the 90s to now. May we never forget that it was Gen, and even those a few years before them, who gave us the digiverse-Netflix-instant oatmeal www.orld in which we live today and when I see a very NYC film like this one, it makes it a true reality check. Being the age that one should be married with kids, I watched Kathryn Hahn as Rachel absolutely slay the silver screen and am eager to see if she picks up any more accolades throughout the current awards season. Simple plot…she’s in her early 40s and her hubby Rich (played by Paul Giamatti) is entering his late 40s and they are fully entrenched within the confines of every single way to conceive a baby. Following the couple through their trials and tribulations really get pushed up an ante when sort-of relative Sadie (the lovely Kayli Carter) decides she will be the surrogate mum for them as things get a tad pear-shaped. This could easily be dubbed a dreamed, for in effect, it is; what needs to be known is that this is also a morality tale for a new age. The old-fashioned ethics of yesteryear just do not apply anymore, at least not in big cities, and the less is more factor easily makes this one of the finest films released within the last year. (available on Netflix)

3. BlacKKKlansman Without a doubt, this is the finest work in all too many years by Spike Lee, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. God Save the World…and Amerikkka.

2. Fahrenheit 11/9  Premiering a few weeks ago here in Spain at very select cinema screens across the country, this is the first documentary in some time by Michael Moore that could play across an international landscape and should be required viewing on any critic’s or person’s list. The titular oddity refers to the day after we all woke up across the world in shock and awe that Donald J Trump had won the Presidency of the USA. Even if this is not Morre’s best film to date, it is undoubtedly the one that holds the viewers’ feet to the fire and calls for them to fight the nasty funk of this administration. But, it’s when he takes it back to his roots, to Flint, Michigan, and ends up involving all local and state politics, that we start to see the more sinister undertakings happening amongst conservative parties, ideals and societies. When you add in the fact of the Parkland High School shooting and the way Moore later fuses footage of Hitler and his minions and followers with a rally speech made by the current occupant of the White House, it becomes all too obvious that things are exactly as we think they are (A HOT MESS!) and we have very little recourse rather than claiming truth. (now available On Demand and DVD)

1. ROMA There are tender moments of realism that are permitted to happen with the rise of instant cinema on VOD and direct-to-home films, and it has been a pleasure to see that sites like Netflix and Amazon and Canal+ have truly added to the foray in which great celluloid can be brought to the masses. Case in point comes the finest piece of dramatic celluloid that graced the silver screen in the last year. Being a Mexican whose father is a naturalised citizen of the US and a mother who is Chicana from the US, like myself and my siblings, the sentimentality ran deep with this film. One of the differences I experienced was the fact that we were the only Mexican-American family in a stately US country club…and we had an entire childhood spent with loving housekeepers, which is what this film inherently is honouring and depicting, using the backdrop of Alfonso Cuarón’s take on growing up in 70s-upper middle class Mexico City in the neighbourhood of Roma. Depicting the life of the house assistant Cleo (first-time performer Yalitza Aparicio in a J.Hud moment, frankly) and the family of Sr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), a doctor in the Mexican capital, what Cuarón has called his most personal film to date, is also a B&W modern tale in the vein of Gone with the Wind, and the fact that he centres around a privileged Mexican family is poignant for several reasons: it not only takes a focus away from how Donald bloody Trump has painted Mexicans, in general, to the world, but it also highlights a very human element to how many classes of society function and live there in the frontier regions of North America and, more importantly, EVERYWHERE…easily put, this is a sweet, oft-times simple, oft-times brutal story on humanity. What binds so many critics together on this film’s merits is that fact that Alfonso Cuarón has crafted the past year’s most enigmatic movie, leaving us to make our own answers to what happens to Lady Cleo, her best mate Teresa, and this beautiful family. Absolutely and quietly stunning! (available on Netflix and selects screens across the country)

[tvmecaps]

1. god I can’t believe I’m watching this again 2. WHY ARE THE EPISODES SO LONG 3. IT’S ARIE WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN

4. “how’s everyone feeling today?” “i’m emotionally and physically drained” this is me every morning

5. if i had to go on a group date with krystal i would absolutely find a way to accidentally punch her in the throat 6. i like tia she just runs around making noises 7. the fuck is a glob 8. THE KISSING BANDIT god i hate this man 9. if someone surprised me with a wrestling date i’d kill myself 10. OMG IS ALISON BRIE HERE 11. the fuck it’s not even alison brie 12. oh they’re like the real wrestlers lmao 13. i have no idea what bekah's personality is

14. wrestler lady: “who wants it?” tia: *raises her hand but only like, a little bit*

15. arie was talking and my mom said from across the room “what are you watching it’s putting me to sleep” 16. lauren b is just standing in the corner laughing i’m dying 17. oh my god she’s just… insulted bibiana’s name? 18. WHAT IS HAPPENING

19. wrestler lady: “I could take you down right now!” tia: “i would let you”

20. bekah’s gonna beat the shit out of them 21. the girls are literally crying 22. IMAGINE GOING ON A DATE WHERE THE ENTIRE PREMISE WAS THAT YOU WERE GOING TO GET BULLIED 23. i really wish alison brie was here 24. shut the fuck up bekah go call your mom 25. “has anyone even watched WWE?” literally no 26. i love tia 27. tia winning would be justice for raven 28. BIBIANA IN A DINOSAUR MASK 29. i want chris harrison to beat the shit out of arie 30. i don’t even remember who kenny is

31. bring back peter

32. who is the lunch lady 33. imagine having to pretend to fall in love with arie 34. oh my god what is HAPPENING 35. imagine losing to krystal 36. LMAO KRYSTAL IS LITERALLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS GIRL 37. is this… porn 38. i think this is porn 39. aw i love tia and bibiana 40. every time arie speaks i want to fast forward

41. i’m trying to snapchat arie and krystal but i can’t get a clear enough shot of their faces because all they’re doing is kissing really grossly 42. oh my god 43. snapchat makes this show so much better

44. “he’s fucking awesome” yeah ok tia 45. WHY DOES ARIE JUST KISS EVERYONE 46. “i have a feeling i’ll be on that one on one date because he knows i’m a mom” god in all my krystal hatred i forgot how awful chelsea was 47. i cannot tell any of the laurens apart

48. “and i just feel like these girls are living in a false reality” oh my god she’s CLINICAL

49. HAHAHAH HE GAVE IT TO BEKAH 50. SUCK A DICK, KRYSTAL 51. she’s just SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN 52. LIKE THE PSYCHOPATH SHE IS

53. is krystal literally just going around the house talking to the other girls about how strong her connection with arie is…

54. “this is a very Lauren S. date” - lauren S

55. “i like to go to bed early” of course you do arie you’re like 60

56. hulu isn’t working and i feel like this is a message from god 57. ugh no it’s back

58. “i feel like you’re a little bit of a wine connoisseur.” “no i just like drinking wine.” the most relatable arie has ever been

59. SHE’S JUST RAMBLING 60. SHE’S BEEN RAMBLING FOR PROBABLY AN HOUR 61. SHE JUST KEEPS TALKING 62. LAUREN S PLEASE STOP TALKING 63. she’s literally talking so much that arie is actually eating

64. “how is ‘ruff’ spelled?” “r-u-f-f” *everyone SCREAMS*

65. THERE IS A TRAUMATIC SITUATION FOR EVERY EVENT ON THIS SHOW

66. he’s NOT GIVING HER THE ROSE 67. I’M SO UNCOMFORTABLE 68. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER SEEN 69. god that was awful 70. ugh i liked her 71. or at least like… i didn’t hate her 72. why is krystal talking about her like she died 73. dear god SHUT!!!!! UP!!!!!!!

74. “stop being so condescending to everybody because you like, met his dog.” CAROLINE FOR PRESIDENT

75. how is it only 9:00 i feel like I’ve been watching this episode for six years 76. tag yourself i’m the blonde bitch jumping up and down when arie even vaguely alludes to a dog 77. when does unReal come back 78. THESE DOGS ARE SO TALENTED 79. my dog can’t even walk without falling down

80. LMAO WAIT IS ANNALIESE 81. IS SHE THE ONE WITH THE BUMPER CAR ISSUES TOO 82. who PUT THESE FLASHBACKS TOGETHER 83. “AND I ALMOST LOST MY EYE,” SHE SAYS AS A CRYING BABY SCREAMS IN SEPIA

84. bibiana signs off from her prayer with “love you bye!!”

85. “we have just a random girl who’s walked up as well” same 86. i would just hold my dog and pet him 87. why is annalise so enthusiastic about poop 88. she’s really owning it though 89. how are there still so many girls left i only know like six of them 90. omg I can’t wait for chelsea to go home 91. her poor child is going to have to watch this someday

92. “dogs are so cute” wow arie is full of gold tonight 93. “i have never had the opportunity for someone to respect me for who i am” ok chelsea 94. i wonder what arie is thinking about at any given time 95. “the last time you said you were in love was five years ago on this show. tell me more about that.” do you really think that’s the best topic of conversation here

96. i wonder if arie is stoned or if he just naturally looks like that

97. omg annalise stop complaining and just go talk to him 98. ten years from now someone’s gonna say the word bachelor and she’s gonna have flashbacks to THIS traumatic moment 99. HE JUST KEEPS KISSING PEOPLE 100. it’s never a good sign when the dude says “so how do you think things are going” 101. he’s so not into her 102. that was painful 103. poor annaliese 104. she deadass got her coat on LMAO

105. HE CAN’T HOLD A CONVERSATION AND JUST SLOWLY MOVES HIS FACE CLOSER TO THE OTHER GIRL THE ENTIRE TIME UNTIL THEY STOP TALKING TO KISS

106. THIS IS THE WORST I HATE HIM!!!!!!

107. “today was really fun. i loved today. today was such a cool day. it was amazing.” - literally a sentence that arie just said

108. maybe he is super stoned 109. how dare they show me a black panther commercial and then make me go back to watching the bachelor 110. who does bekah look like 111. she looks like someone

112. BIBIANA SET THE ENTIRE THING UP AND HE JUST TOOK THIS BLONDE BITCH OUT HERE 113. I’M SCREAMING 114. LMAO WHAT THE FUCK 115. WHO MANIPULATED THIS SITUATION INTO EXISTENCE 116. WHERE IS QUINN KING!!!!! 117. SHE’S GOING TO SEE THEM KISSING BECAUSE WHAT ELSE DOES ARIE DO 118. “he’s with lauren b on my setup” i would literally cry 119. THE DEVIL IS WROKING OT 120. HE’S TAKING EVERY FUCKING GIRL TO IT 121. I’M SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!! 122. THIS MAN IS SUCH TRASH LMAO!!!!!!

123. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE TAKES A NEW GIRL OUT THERE HE’S LIKE LMAO I DON’T KNOW WHO SET THIS UP BUT ISN’T IT NICE? LET’S KISS!!

124. AHH!!!!!!!! 125. annaliese is gonna force him to kiss her

126. he got tia HAY BALES AND MOONSHINE 127. I’M SCREAMING WHAT HTE FUCK IS THIS SHOW 128. SHE’S TALKING AND HE’S JUST 129. SLOWLY MOVING HIS FACE TO HER 130. MOUTH OPEN

131. i hope they checked him for herpes

132. the bitch smiling because annaliese hasn’t kissed him 133. he’s going to send annaliese home right now isn’t he 134. this is so uncomfortable because she’s like BEGGING him to kiss her 135. i’ve never seen arie REFUSE to kiss someone 136. this is awful 137. he said no and i gasped 138. that was literally the most dramatic thing that’s happened this entire season 139. this is so dumb

140. you know annaliese and bibiana are going home because he deadass has sought out EVERY OTHER GIRL TONIGHT to stick his tongue down their throats one last time

141. arie is definitely lowkey racist 142. why does he make jokes that 11 year old boys would make 143. if i never see arie kiss another human it will be too soon 144. aw bye annaliese 145. “bye ladies,” she says, crying 146. WHO SAID SHE’S KIDDING 147. “i don’t know what this man is thinking” but literally everyone watching does 148. god shut up krystal

149. “i feel really confident, but also i don’t have a rose,” she says, BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY

150. “i had to make one hard decision” arie you’ve sent two girls home 151. the camera zoomed in on krystal when he saw the word wife dear god 152. OH HER NAME IS KENDALL? I like her 153. why did only one girl walk up when he said lauren 154. there are like at least four laurens left 155. bye bib 156. LMAO WAIT DOES HE EVEN KNOW SHE SET UP THE DAY BED 157. he definitely doesn’t 158. thank god this is over 159. THEY’RE TLAKING ABOUT HER DOG FEARS AGAIN 160. oh my god

[intimatevoid]

the delirium was fun

written while getting progressively drunk with @littledonkeyburrito

1) How many bank accounts do you have? 3.

2) Have you ever been in an ambulance?

Only once, I was in a car crash and was unharmed, but I still had to sit in one while I answered some questions for the paramedics. 3) Do you remember your first time on the internet? No, but I do remember that when we first got internet, I spent all my computer time going to lego.com :D 4) Have you ever had the flu? I had the flu this year and it sucked so much arse. Ash ended up taking me to the hospital at like 1am. The delirium was fun. :D 5) Would you ever consider going on a cruise? Yeah, I have considered it before.

6) Do you ever drink alcohol? well there was this one time that was now

7) Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Actually, I have had maybe one or two hangovers in my entire life. I don’t get ‘em often. 8) How old were your parents when they had you? I think they were in their mid-20s? I have no idea how old my parents are lmao

9) Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? Actually my partner is exactly ten years older than me. And the person I lost my virginity to is fifteen years older.

10) Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? Pffthahahaha, no. My bio family and I aren’t on great terms. But that said, I’ve slowly built up a little fambly of my own, and I try to spend as much time with them as possible.

11) What would you say is your favorite genre of music? Electronica, metal, chiptune, and orchestral/soundtrack.

12) Are you good at giving advice to people? I have been told by some that I am good at the advice thing, just once or twice.

13) What is your goal for the next few months? To move house in April, and also to save up for my Sydney trip in May~

14) Do you think you have a good sense of style? On paper, I have a great sense of style. In reality I just can’t afford to look like how I want to XD

15) What is your star sign/zodiac sign/whatever? Aquarius. 16) Does your personality match the characteristics of your sign? I am actually a scarily accurate match to my sign. I don’t even believe in zodiac stuff, I just match it really closely. 17) Would you rather be on a nude beach or at a concert? I would definitely rather be at a concert. Public nudity could be a death sentence for me lmao 18) Have you ever been caught passing notes in class? No, I didn’t have any friends to pass notes to, BUT this does remind me of an interesting story about class subterfuge! Once in year 12 English, I was wearing my spray jacket, and had run an earbud up under it, past my neck, to my ear. I sat next to a wall so nobody could see. However, the guy sitting behind me saw it in my ear, and he was a massive dickhead, so he tried to dob me in to the teacher. 

Just in time, I flicked the earbud out of my ear and dropped it into my collar, out of sight. The English teacher (who loved me and did not like the idiot behind me) asked if this was true, and I turned my head to show that there was nothing in my ear. He insisted that he saw something, and I said maybe he saw a fly or something. He started yelling about it and the teacher sent him out of the classroom. I got away with it, nobody ever suspected me.

A little unjust, perhaps, but he was an asshole who constantly disrupted class and I don’t regret anything.

19) What is your New Year’s resolution? My New Year’s resolution is always the same: to be the kind of person my younger self would be both intimidated and a little bit turned on by. 20) Do you know anyone who suffers from depression? Do I know anyone who doesn’t? 21) Would you rather be 13 years old or 30 years old? 30. It’s closer to death, that’s an obvious benefit. 22) Here’s a personal one. How many times do you pee a day? I don’t keep track, you perv 23) Have you ever had your significant other fall asleep on you? Actually, Ash almost never falls asleep on me. But it’s so nice when they do. 24) Name me a random word that starts with ‘O’. Opulence.

25) Which berry is your favorite? Watermelons and avocados.

26) Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?

Yus! Japanese and French so far.

Maddie’s trying to pressure me into learning Spanish too lmao

27) Which baby animal is your favorite? Literally any of them tbh :D Whether they’re in my lap or on my plate, I don’t mind. 28) What was the scent of the last candle you burned? The last candle I burned was a scent-neutralising deodorant candle, because I had gastro and couldn’t stop farting :D 29) Are there any plants in your home? I have two beautiful moon cacti named Snuggles and Smooches. 30) If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant? WEED

Vegetables! I miss having homegrown food, hopefully I’ll be able to grow some at my new place ;w; 31) What pets have you had while growing up? My family has had few dogs and a few cats and even a bird, but the only pet that was actually mine was a big ginger tom. Such a beautiful kitty. I named him Sovereign because he thought he was the king of everything. 32) What type of museum would you like to go to? I like lots of different types of museums! Natural history, science, art, you name it. 33) Have you ever been to the circus? Literally never. Though I kinda hate the concept of circuses. So much potential for animal abuse. 34) What are some of your favourite scents? The ones that add up to dollars! :D

Forreal tho, I love the smell of my Lush vanilla body wash.

35) What branch of science interests you the most? Oooh where do I START. I love chemistry a lot, and that filters down to biology and psychology. But I also fucking love physics, and would even be good at it if I was any good at math.

36) Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet You can walk into any closet if you try hard enough.

37) Can you play electric guitar?

A little! I have more experience with acoustic but electric is more fun.

38) When was the last time you drank something through a straw?

About six hours ago.

39) Are you a fan of industrial metal?

What, like mild steel?

(lol jk i do)

40) Can you handle the cold?

I desire the cold more than anything. Or at least the Australian version of cold, which is really just “slightly below boiling”.

41) Have you ever been to Canada?

Not yet!

42) How old is the person you last kissed?

35~

43) Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on?

Everyone has been ten years old, so yes~

44) Are your feet touching the floor?

Nope. My desk has a bar running underneath it and my feet are propped up on that.

45) Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up? Literally never. I am not just emotional, but I also prompt other people to release theirs. 46) Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless? Who wants to be friends with NON-odd people? Odd is interesting. Normal is boring.

47) Do you have any piercings besides your earlobes? 13, but I’ve had 22 total.

48) How many push-ups can you do? *shrugs* idk, i used to be able to do heaps bc it was part of my roller derby trailing but now I’m so unfit

49) When was the last time you wore a button up shirt? Literally today~

50) Do you own any striped sweaters? Alas, I do not D:

51) Write the first person you think of whose name begins with T? Tanya Dobson, a dear friend of mine. 52) When was the last time you got a haircut? Just about a couple of weeks ago! Not a proper haircut, just getting my undercut reshaved.

53) How old were you when you had your first crush? I don’t remember how old I was -- probably preteen -- but it was Lt. Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

[the-record-columns]

Feb. 13, 2019: Columns

She gave much, but asked little

Editor’s note: This column originally appeared in a slightly different form on Feb. 17, 2009)

           Willa Mae Lankford

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Lifelong Millers Creek resident Willa Mae Lankford, widow of Sammie Lankford died Thursday, February 12 (2009).  

Willa Mae died as she lived, peacefully, and surrounded by those who loved her.

Her son, Jerry Lankford, is the editor of The Record.  What follows was adapted from remarks I made at Willa Mae’s funeral service on Sunday, Feb. 15, 2009, at the Arbor Grove United Methodist Church in Purlear.  The service was conducted by Rev. Ed McKinney, and special music was provided by David Johnson, Eric Ellis, and Keith Watts, longtime friends of the Lankford family.

                                                        ***

David, Eric, and Keith make that music look easy, don’t they, but it sure isn’t. As they played, I couldn’t help but remember the little half-smile that would come over Willa Mae’s face, much like the one on this page, when she would listen to her son, Jerry, or one of her grandchildren play music.  She enjoyed listening, then combined that enjoyment with the feeling of pride only a mother and grandmother can know.  

I actually came to know Willa Mae Lankford because of her son, Jerry, and much of what I say today revolves around that.

A bit over 10 years ago (20 years now), a man stopped me and asked when I was going to turn Thursday Magazine into a newspaper—I replied that I was looking for the right person to do just that.  He inquired further, and I told him I was looking for a man in his 30’s who had newspaper experience outside Wilkes County, and who might be in a situation with aging parents or something and looking to settle back down in Wilkes.

“I know that man,” he replied, “I know exactly that man.”  

In my mind I said “Sure you do,” and told him just to have that fella call me.

Well folks, about four hours later, that very same day, I got a phone call from a man who identified himself as Jerry Lankford, and who began the conversation with, “I understand you might like to start a newspaper.”

The rest, as I like to say, is history.  Very soon, after Jerry began working with us, The Record began publishing and thankfully, continues to do so. There is an aside I must tell on Jerry, however. We agreed that he was to give a two week notice to his employer the following Friday.  That afternoon, he came by my office to tell me when he gave his notice that they sent him home on the spot.  I told him not to worry, just come on in on Monday and we would just start work a little earlier than planned. So you see, his first day at work on his new job was a day off.  Pretty good deal, huh.

Particularly in the earliest years of The Record, circumstances called for me to spend many, many late hours with Jerry Lankford. Anytime we were anywhere near Kite Road in Millers Creek, we would stop in for a visit with his mother. As long as I knew her, she was in fragile health.  As the years went by, more and more things went wrong and she became noticeably weaker and weaker.

But her spirit remained strong.  I never heard her complain, in fact, she was always asking how I was doing—most especially after I suffered a stroke some years ago.

And, she stayed busy.

Unable to get around very well, she was always making something with her hands.  I guess it was from all those years at the City Florist, working and talking with that wonderful gaggle of ladies who we all knew by sight, if not by name.  In fact, one of the gifts I enjoy most came from Willa Mae—not counting Jerry, of course. One day he brought me a package about the size of a bowling ball and said simply, “My mother made this for you.” Inside was a multi-sided quilted star. “It is to be used as a doorstop.” Jerry said.

It was amazing.

You can look and look and you can’t find a starting place, or a stopping place, and I still have no idea how she put that thing together, but it’s beautiful, and remains one of the most noticed items in my home, and a gift I’ll always treasure.  

And that was Willa Mae.

She gave much of herself and asked for little.  

She loved her husband, her children, and her grandchildren.

And she loved the people of Arbor Grove Methodist Church so much.

To Ellen, Mike (now also deceased), and to my good friend, Jerry, I must be honest and tell you that nothing will ever be quite the same for you again.  But hold on to those wonderful memories of your mother, indeed, wrap yourselves in them, for they will carry you through a lot.

Willa Mae Lankford—a kind and caring soul if ever there was one.  

Clearly, she rests in peace.

                                             Willa Mae Lankford

                                    Nov. 9, 1926 – Feb. 12, 2009

Gentlemen of the Jury…

By HEATHER DEAN

Record Reporter

Next week I will be performing with Alleghany Community Theatre as they present “12 Angry Jurors” in the historic courthouses of Sparta, N.C., and Independence, Va.

Readers may remember the original title of “12 Angry Men,” a stage play written by Reginald Rose, which was also adapted to a 1957 movie starring Henry Fonda.

Over the years the title has changed in production as women have been allowed to be seen as competent jurors. But that wasn’t always the case.

Even though women have served on juries for over 100 years, it was considered more of a novelty, which quickly turned to critique, with national newspapers lamenting that “men would be only too happy to cede the burden of jury service to women, if only female jurors could be trusted to endure the gruesome business.” And so the “woman of the jury experiment” began. The results? Good female jurors were conscientious and committed to justice, just like their male counterparts (gasp!).

For those not familiar with the show, the plot revolves around the murder trail of a Latino teenager accused of murdering his abusive father. His conviction would mean execution by electric chair.  The case seems open and shut with a murder weapon and witnesses to place the boy at the scene of the crime. One lone juror, attempts to prevent a miscarriage of justice by forcing his colleagues to reconsider the evidence “beyond a reasonable doubt.”

As the case unfolds more is learned about each juror, in some cases, the paranoia and prejudices that expose the ugliness of white privilege and imagined American supremacy.

I play juror 11, an immigrant watchmaker and naturalized American citizen who demonstrates a strong patriotic pride. (George Voskovec had this part in the 1957 film).

Voskovec was a Czech actor, writer, dramatist, and director who became an American citizen in 1955.

I am the fourth to cast a not guilty vote, but not without repercussion. Prejudice runs amok among the jurors, and my character at one point is questioned because I am not a “real American.” One juror even throws up the fact that I ran for my life during the Second World War, taking advantage of the American Immigration system, doubtful that I was really a refugee, and that I had no right to come over here, or even serve on a jury, and I certainly did not get to tell them how the Constitution works. She follows this up with a threat to “knock my GD middle-eastern head off” if I don’t shut up. Needless to say, our characters have quite a row after that exchange. In fact, a lot of murder threats get thrown around to other jurors, making our task at hand seem like the background noise to the real issue of the intricate divisiveness of human nature when questioned with what it is to “be a good American.”

This play is both eye opening and disheartening to me. Even though human compassion wins in the end, kind of, the relentless diatribe of how of a kid literally from the wrong side of the tracks, because of his skin color, his nationality, and his lack of being able to speak English is ENOUGH for the many of this jury to dismiss him and actually be happy about sending him to his demise, to keep the country “clean.”

The absolute prejudice shown in the 50’s is still being shown today, most recently with a supposed crisis at the border. The vitriol spouted in this play is the same we still hear on national news 60 years later. I get chill bumps at some of the lines realizing that the more things change, the more they stay the same, and that we have a humanitarian duty to make sure the cruel side of history stops with us.  

To quote Henry Fonda’s character’s closing line “Let them live.”

 12 Angry Jurors is presented by Alleghany Community Theatre and Alleghany Arts Council and is directed by Danny Linehan. Tickets are $8 adults, $5 students. Friday Feb. 22, and Saturday Feb. 23, shows are at 7 p.m. at the Alleghany Courthouse, 12 N Main St Sparta, NC 28675. Sunday Feb. 24, show is at 2 p.m., at the Old Grayson courthouse in Independence, Virginia, 107 E Main St, Independence, VA 24348.

 Cast includes: Foreman (An assistant football coach): Lori Hirschy; Juror Two (A shy bank clerk): Beka Perry; Juror Three (Small business owner): Kevin Bennett; Juror Four (Stock Broker): Brant Burgiss; Juror Five (EMT in a Harlem Hospital): Zach Weaver; Juror Six ( Housepainter): Charlie Scott; Juror Seven (Marmalade salesman): Laura Kennedy; Juror Eight (Architect): Danny Linehan; Juror Nine (Elderly Retiree): Marion Adams; Juror Ten (Mechanic): Donny McCall; Juror Eleven (Immigrant Watchmaker): Heather Dean; Juror Twelve (Marketing Agent): Michael Bridges.

  Anti-Semitic Strategy at the UN ​

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

At first glance, the recent G-77 gathering seemed like a “Saturday Night Live” parody of the UN’ s largest bloc. The new chairman, with rehearsed political correctness, to smiles and applause, called on “all states” (except his) to end the “epidemic” of terrorism and “work with us to put an end to this scourge.”

The speaker was Palestinian Authority President and PLO chairman Mahmoud Abbas— infamous inciter and propagator of violence and terror against the sovereign State of Israel, and bankroller of Palestinian terrorism to the tune of more than US $138 million to terrorist prisoners and ex-convicts in 2018 alone.

Abbas’s chairmanship, which violates G-77 principles and the UN Charter, is the latest blight on the UN’s eroded legitimacy and credibility. Created to safeguard world peace, security, human rights, and the sovereign equality of states by peaceful dispute resolution, the UN has been hijacked by an anti-Semitic, terror-tainted political agenda—discrediting itself by violating its own charter.

How did this sorry state of affairs develop? And what can be done by those states who are committed to the UN’s ethical, democratic founding principles?

Anti-Semitism at the UN began not randomly, but as a deliberate strategy. Some historians believe it started after Israel won the Six-Day War in June 1967, damaging Russian prestige at home and abroad. The Soviets, enraged by Israel’s defeat of its proxies Egypt and Syria, retaliated, aiming its Cold War weapons of propaganda and disinformation against the Jewish State—by a state-sponsored vilification campaign against Israel and Jews, and then at the UN, where it forged a political alliance with Arab and Third World states. Starting in 1969, the General Assembly produced multiple resolutions affirming the “inalienable rights of the Palestinian people.”

Russia uses language for totalitarian social control, said historian Joel Fishman. Following the Six-Day War, the selected vocabulary was published in the party newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda in October 1967: “Zionism is dedicated to genocide, racism, treachery, aggression, and annexation ...attributes of fascists.” In 1975, the Soviet- Arab bloc passed GA Resolution 3379, “Zionism is Racism."

But historian Joel Fishman said Resolution 3379 was brewing in 1964—before the Six-Day War. In March of that year, the U.S.proposed that the UN recognize anti-Semitism as a form of racism along with apartheid and Nazism. The Soviets stonewalled, because they were, after all, anti-Semites who persecuted Soviet Jews, Fishman said. They threatened the United States to drop the proposal or face a Russian amendment condemning Zionism and Nazism—thus equating the two.

In October 1965, the US pushed an amendment to the final draft condemning anti-Semitism, but the Soviets insisted on adding“Zionism” to the forms of racism to condemn. After a bitter debate, a compromise struck all references to racism except apartheid. Thus, the Soviets succeeded in excluding anti-Semitism as racist without leaving behind a voting record—which could augur future charges against its own state-sponsored anti-Semitism.

The 1965 debates critically impacted evolving world opinion and international law on Israel and Zionism. “From then on, it was almost impossible to raise anti-Semitism as a human rights issue,” Fishman said. Thus Soviet political propaganda became a bridge to today’s global outbreak.

For the Soviets, the Cold War never really ended. Recent revelations of their digital disinformation and propaganda are well-publicized.

But neither has the UN been a passive instrument of Soviet manipulation. Israeli Major General (res.) Yaakov Amidror recalled how UN Secretary General U Thant endorsed President Nasser’s request to withdraw UN forces from the Sinai. Nasser replaced them with Egyptian military divisions, helping to spark the Six-Day War. And that’s just one example of UN complicity against Israel.

 Israel’s concerted relationship-building with individual nations, and delegations of visiting UN ambassadors to see and experience the “real” Israel firsthand, are part of the solution to return to the UN Charter principle of friendly relations between nations. Likewise, while keeping an eye on Russia, Western democracies should continue to strengthen democratic blocs of nations to defend against the real “scourge.”

At all costs, the truth must be published. What does Israel or the US gain from “dialogue” in a tilted UN that could be better served by bilateral or Western-bloc diplomacy? 

 Heart to Heart

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

The past few weeks have been exciting and entertaining.

The Carolinas are well known for seasonal abnormalities. It’s not odd to have near recording breaking cold weather for a few days and then Spring-like weather. Just enough to tease our spring flowering plant life and then in the twinkling of an eye it’s cold again.

So, it goes in the Carolinas, we are people with many layers, and those layers come in handy during our winter months. We also love metaphors, and a colorful story fills the need we have to be a good storyteller or a great listener. The need for both is never-ending.

While in the barber’s chair last week, Garry, my barber, had big news. It looks like he may have a brother he is just now learning about. I asked him if he was excited about having a new brother. He said he was; however, the idea is so new he is still processing the emotions that come along with such a discovery.

Josh, Garry’s son and the fellow barber said they have been invited to visit their new northern family member.  Garry is not much for long-distance travel; his heart indeed is in the Carolinas, and he is not excited about venturing too far away from the land he calls home.  

In the style of true Southern Hospitality, an invitation will soon be extended to the brother from afar. From what I understand hints have already been given by the new brother that suggest an invite and visit to the Carolinas would be welcomed.  

Bill Barns ask for my thoughts on his new book that is in the final stages before publishing. The first sentence of Chapter One is “One beautiful, moonlit night, a young mother opossum known as Oden was out in the woods foraging for food.”  

I plan to read every word.

I had the opportunity to take in a few live shows. One was an open mic night at The 1915 in Wilkesboro, and the other was at the Reeves Theater in Elkin NC. The Reeves Theater is the subject of one of our broadcast segments that we are calling The Carolina Theater Trail. The segment series will be part of our Life In The Carolinas syndicated show. Over the next few years, we will be producing segments on historically significant Theaters in the Carolinas. We have a good variety of theaters to choose, and each one plays a vital role in our charming towns in the Carolinas.

I enjoyed dinner with Ken Welborn, publisher, and friend who loves the Carolinas with a strong focus on Wilkes County. It’s never a dull visit with Ken. The food and service at Sixth and Main in North Wilkesboro is excellent. I enjoyed the crab cakes with asparagus and baby potatoes. Ken dined on and spoke well about the salmon and vegetables. I think digestion works better when you have dinner with a well-seasoned storyteller.

In celebration of February as the Heart Month, we had Dr. Julian Thomas as a guest on the Life In The Carolinas Podcast. We titled the episode Heart to Heart. The special show focused on the journey of dealing with matters of the heart. Dr. Thomas is brilliant, and his approach to healthcare is driven by promoting awareness and a passion for healing.

Wherever we find ourselves, it’s a good idea to stop for a moment and share our lives with those we are around. The love month can be demanding, but it can also be gentle, kind and full of passion.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 Carl White is the Executive Producer and Host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In The Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its 10th year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at noon and My40. The show also streams on Amazon Prime. For more information visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com. You can email Carl at Carl@lifeinthecarolinas.com.

[sincelight]

I'm A Little Awkward, But Most People Like Me

Pairing: Yixing/Baekhyun Rating: pg-13 Genre: online friendship? 

Summary: Baekhyun's a little awkward, spends too much time reading smutty gay fanfiction, and doesn't think twice before flying across the country to meet his favorite author.

He’s staring at the screen, the little line blinking, taunting him. He wants to say something. Anything. But what? Is it weird if he just gushes? Can he do that? Hi you don’t know me but I love ur fics and ur a great writer and i think i love you please be my friend. He quickly backspaces. “Definitely can’t send that.”

He lets his head fall onto his desk and pouts. “Come on Baekhyun, you’re a people person, you’re great at making friends. Just say hi.” He takes the bit of courage his little pep talk gives him and hurries to type something, not going back to reread it because he knows he’ll just backspace it all again. He lets out his held breath after hitting send and then hurries to exit out of the site, shutting his laptop and pushing it away from himself. It’s late and he should get to bed anyway, he has work in the morning.

He hates the sound of his alarm. It’s too loud. Each time it goes off, every five minutes for a half-hour straight, he silences it and forces himself not to cry into his pillow. He briefly wonders why his life can’t be like Kai’s in xingie’s latest fic. Why wasn’t he born into a rich family, with the luxury of never having to work a day in his life? He sighs, swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands.

After getting ready it’s a short walk to work, too short. He looks up at the building, the glass window with the stupid purple coffee mug smiling down at him, and is disappointed that, once again, it hasn’t burned down overnight. The sound of the bell chiming when he opens the door annoys him, but one annoyance is quickly replaced with another when his manager, Junmyeon, marches up to him with that overly happy smile on his face.

“You’re late. Again.”

Baekhyun continues walking, thinking that if he ignores him he’ll go away. But Junmyeon only follows behind him, much too close.

“Third time this week, Baek. You need to be—“

“I know, Junmyeon,” he sighs as he ties his apron around his waist. “I know.” Junmyeon gives him a look, the one he uses when customers are being unreasonable, but doesn’t say anything more. “I’ll be on time tomorrow.”

He’s left alone after that to work. This part of his job he can handle, making coffee is something he’s always enjoyed. Plus, the sounds of the machines drown out potential conversations his coworkers might be tempted to have with him. On more than one occasion he’s turned the blender on specifically to drown out whatever nonsense Sehun was spewing, that kid seems to never stop talking. He’s cute, but god damn.

His first order of the day is a mocha latte and he smiles to himself. It reminds him of a fic by xingie he’d read not too long ago; the main character worked in a coffee shop and his super cute, much too flirty regular always ordered a mocha latte everyday. He’s torn from his daydream when he realizes he’s spilling milk all over the counter and it’s pouring onto the front of his apron. He curses under his breath, quickly grabbing a rag to wipe up his mess. Maybe if xingie actually replies to him he can tell him how he made a mess at work daydreaming about one of his steamy sex scenes from his coffee shop fic. He smiles.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Sehun’s voice calls suddenly, much too close to him. “You’re happy you just spilled milk all over yourself?” Baekhyun shoots Sehun a quick glare and then turns on the empty blender.

By the time he gets to sit down for his lunch break he’s ready to go home. His feet hurt and he looks like he pissed himself and he really just wants to finish the chaptered fic he’d started the night before. He sips from his coffee mug and looks to the clock on the wall above him. Fifteen minutes, thats enough time to at least get in half a chapter. So he pulls his phone out and quickly loads up the site, tapping on his subscriptions and smiling to himself.

It’s been a long read. He’s spent most of his free time for the better part of a week reading this fic. It’s by xingie, so of course it’s amazing, but this one. This one is it. This one is everything Baekhyun’s been looking for in a fic. He’s cried twice, gotten so angry at the main character he’s slammed his laptop shut, and had to stop reading to masturbate once. Okay, twice. Okay, it was three times, but xingie just knows how to write some good sex. Baekhyun pouts, he wishes he was having good sex. He sighs, rolls his eyes and refocuses. Ten minutes, start reading, he tells himself.

He’s just about to get to the part where Kai finally, finally, confesses to the short, big-eyed boy of his dreams when someone kicks his foot. He holds his breath to keep a shout in, because he’d rather not get in trouble. So he settles for an annoyed, “What?” Junmyeon doesn’t speak, just holds his wrist up to tap at the face of his watch. Oh, Baekhyun thinks, my break ended twenty minutes ago. He throws a charming smile Junmyeon’s way as he scrambles to his feet and rushes back to work.

He groans the entire walk home. Junmyeon had sat him down after work to explain to him the importance of punctuality. Sure, he drowned most of it out, but still annoying nonetheless. He unlocks his door and steps inside, “I’m not a child,” he pouts.

His apartment is small, but he has a cat so it’s okay. And, just like everyday, Socks the cat is sleeping in a little furry ball, curled up on the tattered old couch his friend Taehyung gave him as a move in gift. He curls up in a similar ball around Socks and pulls his phone out to finally finish what he’d started at work. “Alright Kai, lets see you finally admit your feelings.”

The message notification is a little unexpected, no one ever messages him. And then he remembers his half-asleep, 3am message to xingie.

From xingie: Hey, thanks for the message! I’m glad you’re enjoying my fics… it’s kinda cool to get like, fan mail. I’ve actually noticed you’ve left me a few comments before so thanks for that! Hope to hear back from you!

Baekhyun stares at his phone, rereads the message a few times, and then screeches into the couch cushion. Socks gets up and gives him a dirty look before rearranging himself at the opposite end of the couch. “Sorry,” he says, then hops up to sit cross-legged. “What do I say back?” he speaks aloud, looking at his reflection in his dark tv screen. “How do I reply without sounding creepy?”

From dontcallmebacon: Wow, okay. I kinda didn’t expect you to reply to me. I figured you must get a lot of messages because your fics are so good. Um, I don’t really know what to say now. I almost sent you a message yesterday telling you I think I love you, but I didn’t. I really love your last fic, Coffee House. I’m almost finished reading it right now. I got in trouble at work today trying to read instead of working. So thats your fault lol. Anyway, thanks for replying!

He hits send without thinking and immediately regrets. “Oh my god, I’m such a fucking creeper.”

From dontcallmebacon: Also I’m sorry for how creepy that message probably came out I literally just rambled on accident. I promise I’m not usually this awkward.

After this, they end up chatting regularly. Xingie, Baekhyun learns, is actually really cool. They eventually exchange Tumblr information and begin following each other. Messaging there is just much easier, and a lot faster. Baekhyun may or may not stalk through Xingie’s blog, trying to find pictures to put a face to the name. He’s cute, he’s really cute. Like, holy hell what a time to be alive and gay, please Jesus let him be gay, kinda cute. He spends only a very reasonable hour digging deeper to find more pictures, learning his name is Yixing and that he’s not only cute but he’s sexy as hell when he wants to be. Baekhyun may or may not totally save a black and white picture of him biting his lip to his computer.

dontcallmebacon: you're a guy

xingie: i am, yes xingie: is that bad?

dontcallemebacon: no i just… i guess i was expecting like a girl. since you know… its usually girls that write fics.

xingie: i can assure you there are plenty of guys that write fics. xingie: why do you think i have such extensive knowledge of anal? lol

Baekhyun has to sit back from his computer, hands still resting on the keys as he thinks. Is that Yixing’s way of telling him he’s gay? Because well, Baekhyun’s gay. Baekhyun is very gay and Yixing is very cute. And, “No, quit that. Quit that right now.”

dontcallmebacon: youre really cute

Baekhyun mentally kicks himself, physically slams his head onto his desk. That is totally not what he was wanting to say. He hurries to try and save the situation.

dontcallmebacon: i mean like i saw a picture of yu and youre cuet not that i was like stalkinh you or antyhing dontcallmebacon: wow that makes it sound liek i WAS stalking you which i wasnt i swear!

Baekhyun waits, watching the chat box, hoping he didn’t just freak Yixing out. It feels like hours, days, years that he waits for a reply.

xingie: so basically what ur saying is you stalked my blog?

dontcallmebacon: NO! dontcallmebacon: ok yes i did but i just wanted to see what you looked like

xingie: ….you think im cuuuuuuuuute ^.^ xingie: send me a picture of you now, its only fair

Baekhyun almost spits up his drink. Yixing wants a picture of him? He quickly goes through his facebook, trying to find the cutest picture of himself he can. He chooses one and sends it and waits for a reply, playing some dumb game on Facebook to distract himself.

xingie: cute

A few months go by like this, Baekhyun regularly chatting with Yixing nearly all day and all night. Well, until he has to go to sleep before Yixing, timezones be damned. They learn a lot about each other in a short amount of time. They have a shared love for photography, food, animals and more importantly, BTS. They discover they have the same bias and ultimately decide, jokingly of course, that they must be soulmates.

Baekhyun gets in trouble more often at work now. Showing up late more days than not because he decided to stay up much too late to chat with Yixing. Spending too much time looking at his phone instead of paying attention to his work. He makes Yixing laugh when he tells him that he’s solely responsible for the new no phones policy at work.

xingie: i cant wait to meet you

Baekhyun leans back and just stares. They’ve been talking for three months now and sure, the thought of actually meeting Yixing has crossed his mind, but he never thought Yixing was thinking the same thing. He smiles to himself and runs his fingers over the keys.

dontcallmebacon: really?

xingie: uh yea duh youre fuckin awesome why wouldnt i wanna meet you?? xingie: unless ur a serial killer….. are u a serial killer???

dontcallmebacon: i feel like thats what a serial killer would say to make someone think theyre not a serial killer… dontcallmebacon: are YOU a serial killer??

xingie: i would never kill you xingie: might kiss you tho

Baekhyun feels his heart skip. His mouth falls open into a small smile as he types his response.

dontcallmebacon: you want to kiss me?

xingie: have you seen you? like youve seen how cute you are, right? xingie: id totally kiss you

dontcallmebacon: well.. i never said id let you so..

xingie: would you let me?

Baekhyun’s smile widens and he bites into his bottom lip.

dontcallmebacon: totally

Baekhyun is wheezing as he throws himself into his computer chair; it rolls sideways and he catches himself with a hand on the edge of his desk. He opens his laptop with one hand, the other holding onto the cramp in his side, and quickly signs into Tumblr. As he’s waiting for his shitty internet to do its job he tries to catch his breath. “I need to start working out, jesus christ, it was only three blocks”.

He was at work when he got the notification. BTS was announced as one of the artists in the lineup for Kcon in LA this year. He likes BTS. Yixing likes BTS. Yixing lives in LA. It was so exciting and overwhelming all he could think to do was sprint the three blocks from his work to his apartment. He needed to talk to Yixing immediately.

The site finally loads and he has seven messages. Yixing already knows, he thinks to himself. And, sure enough, he opens the chat box to see a barrage of all caps, frantic messages.

xingie: KCON xingie: BTS KCON EMRGENCY REPLY TO MEEEEEE xingie: BAEK FUKCING REPLY TO ME YOU DICKBAG xingie: BAKHYUNNNNNMNN HURRY IM DYNING xingie: BTSSSS BAEK PAY ATTENTION TO ME xingie: GOD DAMN IT BTS AT KCON IM SCREECHING AND UR IGNORING ME xingie: IF YUO DONT REPLY TO ME THIS FRIENDSAHIP IS OVERR

dontcallmebacon: I WAS AT WORK IM SRORRY!!!!!! dontcallmebacon: are you gonna go? to kcon?? BTS????

xingie: thank fuck i thought u were dead xingie: uhmmm obviously im gonna go! bts in my city omgg

dontcallmebacon: im so jealous tell hobi i love him for me

xingie: dude just fly out here xingie: FLY OUT HERE AND MEET ME AND SEE BTS OMG YESS xingie: baek u gotta

Baekhyun reads the message over and over, thinking about it. He has extra money. He has time he can take off work. Why shouldn’t he fly out to LA? He’s always wanted to go. He’d get to see BTS and kiss a cute boy. He quickly checks his bank account, looks at a calendar, and then switches back to Tumblr.

dontcallmebacon: fuck it.. im in

I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna cry. Baekhyun repeats this in his head as he watches his mother walk away from him. She drove him to the airport so he wouldn't have to leave his car, and now she’s leaving. He’s never flown before and he’s moderately terrified. Where does he go? What does he do with his luggage? How does he get to his plane? A large group of people wearing matching shirts passes him, chatting animatedly in a foreign language and he’s jealous. He wishes he had thirty other people around him to tell him what to do. He looks at his phone to check the time. What if he misses his plane? He begins walking faster.

It takes a little time, getting into the wrong line two separate times, but he finally figures out what he has to do. He checks his bag, gets his ticket and then, sighs. “Another line,” he whines, looking over at security. This line moves faster. Each step he takes closer he begins to panic just a little more. He wishes Yixing was awake so he could message him, but it’s like 2am in LA right now, so he’s stuck with nothing but his own thoughts. He takes another step forward, heart beating fast. He begins running through everything in his head, everything he’d packed in his carryon. What if they find something I shouldn't have and I go to airport jail, he thinks.

He makes it through security, only slightly scarred for life, and from there it’s smooth sailing.

By the time he lands in Vegas for his connecting flight he’s starving and so ready to just be in California. He sits down to eat and excitedly messages Yixing, knowing he’ll finally be up.

dontcallmebacon: im in vegas now, coolest airport ever

xingie: ahhhhhhh so close!!! xingie: im so excited ur almost heeeeere

dontcallmebacon: i knowww i just wanna get there already dontcallmebacon: also i’ll have u know i only cried a little at the airport before i left dontcallmebacon: i had a brief hour of panic but im good now

xingie: lol nice xingie: well only a couple more hours left and then you'll be here

Baekhyun notices the time across the top of his phone and his eyes widen. He shoves the rest of his food in his mouth and quickly chugs the rest of his drink.

dontcallmebacon: gotta go, plane leaves in twenty and im at the opposite end of the airport eating. dontcallmebacon: ill message you when i land in la!

When Baekhyun lands he messages Yixing like he said he would and sets off to find his bag. He realizes, pretty quickly, that he has no idea how to find his bag. He wanders aimlessly, he thinks he’s following the signs correctly; he turns around because he was going the wrong way, but finally, he finds baggage claim.

He drags his bag behind him to wait outside. And then, he gets nervous. What if he’s awkward? What if Yixing doesn’t like him? What if Yixing isn't really coming and this was just a big elaborate joke and now he’s stranded all alone in California? He shakes his head, knowing he’s just being dramatic. A black car slows and stops in front of him, he gulps. Yixing steps out, tall, handsome, exactly how Baekhyun pictured him. He lets out a weird breathy chuckle as Yixing steps up to him, a little dimple in his cheek as he smiles.

“Hi.”

Baekhyun licks his lips, his mouth is dry. “Hi.”

Yixing smiles again, looks from Baekhyun’s face to his bag. “You want me to take your—“

“Kiss!”

Yixing’s eyebrows raise, his mouth forms a little ‘o’. “What?”

“Kiss,” Baekhyun repeats, physically unable to stop the word vomit. “Kiss me.”

Yixing’s lips twitch, trying to keep the smile from forming. He grabs Baekhyun’s bag and tosses it into the trunk of his car, turning back to Baekhyun after. He laughs and ruffles Baekhyun’s hair playfully. Baekhyun’s heart stops when Yixing leans forward, lips pursed, and presses their lips together quickly.

“Welcome to California,” Yixing says with a laugh as he walks to the driver’s side and opens the door. “And, nice to finally meet you.”

Baekhyun stares with his mouth open as Yixing gets into the car. He licks his lips and lets out an awkward laugh. The window rolls down and Yixing leans over, hand pulling the handle to push open the door. “You coming?”

Baekhyun smiles and nods, pulls the door open and gets in. He looks at Yixing with a bright smile as he buckles, “Lets do this.”

@seonweon-sonyeondan for you. looooooove you 

[deadlyarcanist]

13 reasons why.

I just finished the Netflix's show "13 Reasons Why", after spending the past two days literally doing nothing with my free time but watching it.

This show, based on a book series, caught my attention (and so many of my friends) for being one of the most realistic, hurtful, ugly portrait of what having emotional and mental issues can do to you. What people can do to you. What men can do to women.

One of my best friends told me she couldn't keep watching, because it brought up things that she buried inside herself a long time ago. Another friend told me he would feel anxious everytime he tried to watch it. Many others told me they got their mental illness smashed on their faces within every episode. And I lost count on how many tweets, reviews and facebook posts I read where girls would share their deepest traumas regarding sexual abuse and slut-shaming and how the show opened up those wounds a little bit, all over again.

As for myself... I try to not talk about my personal life, and specially about my past, on social media. Or in life, to be fair. I always divert attention to other situations, maybe social interactions, maybe other people, so I can avoid talking about me. I might even pretend to talk about myself a lot - without actually telling you anything that matters. I'll talk about my exchange program, I'll talk about my travels, my music, my make up; I might even talk about my religion or even some of my friends. But, in the end of the day, I didn't said anything about myself, really.

My point with this is, first of it all, to take some weight out of my chest. To make my mind a little lighter than it's been, to maybe get someone who is going through shit (or put someone through shit) to understand how everything can change and how much small things can affect you while growing up.

Or maybe, if you can relate to any of this, you'll feel like you're not alone.

I wanna try and discuss a few of the topics that the tv show approached, and how it affected me and might be affecting people you know or even yourself.

Today's subject will be sexism, the rape culture and the slut-shaming shit we face everyday, regardless where you live in this world.

Let's start saying that if you're a male, when it comes to the sexual part of this, you won't ever understand. Not completely. But I appreciate you're trying.

EVERY girl has been put through some kind of abuse, at some point of her life. I know I did.

I was the girl who wanted to grow up really fast. I had more boyfriends than I could count, I made out with people I don't even know the name. I was the 15 year old kid dating a 23 year old guy. Guys, actually. I lost count on how many older dudes I dated between my 15 and 17 years. That's not only pathetic, it's fucking revolting that I had male adults all over me when I literally just got out of middle school. As you can imagine, none of this turned out that well. I was a child. I was imature, I had no idea of who I truly was and I had no idea on how I should be treated. I let men, full bearded men, take advantage of me (and i'm not even talking strictly about sex here), but to influence on how I grew up.

I grew up with this fucked up sense of needing a male to be by my side or else I would be meaningless. I thought I was weak, dependent. Older males. Adult males taking advantage of a fucked up teenager. They made me believe I was their property. They made me believe I was nothing without them. That this messed up sense of protection was all I needed to be happy. And let me tell you this: some of those guys now play on some of your favorite bands and preach about respect on stage.

So, to all of the guys who walked in my life at that time: I hope you understand that what you were doing was abuse. That I was a fucking girl thinking I was a woman. Who thought it was awesome to have a 20-something boyfriend to tell my friends how cool I was. I didn't knew any better, BUT YOU DID. You were the adult and you should have walked away.

And to all the creeps in their 20s (or over) who think it's okay to flirt, interact or actually date an underage girl: I hope you understand you're a scumbag. And honestly, just to think about all that shit makes me want to throw up.

------

Still in the subject abuse, now let's talk about rape, about consent. I was lucky enough this one never happened to me, but it did happened to more than one of my closest friends, and to a extremely close family member.

And this haunts them every single day.

They were blamed for their own abuse, they were laughed at, slut-shamed. They had to hear that if they didn't drink that night, it wouldn't happened. If they wouldn't walking by themselves at night, they wouldn't have been abused. That maybe they should have dressed better if they didn't wanted male attention. This is no news to you, i'm pretty sure. I'm 100% sure you heard all of this kind of shit, if you didn't said it yourself.

I just want to tell you that this moment, those five, ten minutes where those girls were being abused, they marked them forever. They changed because of that. Some of them could never get close to a man again in their lives. Some of them have nightmares about being raped again, some of them lost the support of their families, some of them lost their loved ones. All because one guy couldn't understand the concept of NO. Because that one guy couldn't accept the fact that they didn't wanted him. Because the couldn't control himself. Or because he didn't cared. Because they, my friends and my family, weren't people to his eyes at that moment - they were a thing; a piece of meat.

You know, I never been raped and I thank God everyday for it. But I've been abused in so many other ways. I've been touched against my will, I've been forced kissed, I've been chased on the street, I've been pulled by my hair in the middle of clubs, I've been cat called, I've been stalked, I've been sent many unrequested dick pics, I've been threatened to have my private pictures leaked. I almost got thrown in a car by four guys when I was only 14, while I went to one of my school friend's house, literally 5 minutes away. I was wearing my school uniform, which was an oversized tee and boy shorts. Was I "asking for it"? Was my way to dress to provocative to those pervs? I've been called a whore, i've been called a slut, I've been called crazy, I've been called easy. The most recent one is that I post sexy pictures because I seek male attention and that "isn't that what I wanted?" when I got unrequested nudes. Oh, also that i'm a "homie hopping whore", because I liked some pictures on the instagram account that happens to be friends with a guy I went out last year.

My point here: if you're a girl, i'm pretty sure you've been through some sort of situation like that before. You might be going through it right now. That shouldn't be a routine, this shouldn't be normal.

If I didn't had the right people coming to my life, I would never understand how strong I really am, who I really am; I would never be independent and well resolved with my own terms. And more important of it all: that what people did to me, what I believed it was just fine, was completely wrong. And how that made my life as a teenager so much harder than it needed to be.

On the show, Hannah (the main character) commits suicide after being cyberbullied, slut-shamed, objectified and, ultimately, raped. But this is a tv show, right? But I'll get you wondering... How many real Hannah's are out there? How many young girls gave up their lives over unkind words, over mean comments, over being violated? How many girls had their feelings - and their bodies - so hurt that they decided to stop all that by opening their wrists, hanging out their bedroom ceilings, jumping off buildings? How many cis, trans, old, young, black, white, rich, poor girls were so emotionally and psychologically destroyed that their thought that suicide was their only option?

Think about it. Do your research.

Your words, your attitudes, showing your support to friends and people you might not even know can change their whole life. It can be the difference between another day at school or a funeral next morning. It can change the mind of a girl who thought she was nothing more than a piece of meat to actually realizes that she's worth something. That she has more to offer than her body. It can build up or completely destroy someone's self-esteem and the way they cope with daily struggles. Your words and your attitudes can stop your friend from taking advantage of that drunk girl at the party, or to get justice for a victim. It can help your "bros" to understand what's right and what's wrong.

You have no fucking clue on what's happening on someone's life, so be kind. Be patient. Be respectful. Don't cover up for sexist, predatory attitudes. Don't judge, don't blame the victims. Be there for them.

[shrugman]

all of them ily facetime me

I’m half a bottle of wine in so this is the perfect time to answer this

1. Name: Michelle Bair

2. Birthplace: some airforce base in virginia 

3. Ancestry: general European, Scottish, and Native American

4. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

5. Biggest fear: Abandonment 

6. Strength/Weakness: For the most part I’m pretty honest / I can’t make decisions if they impact other people

7. Worst habit: braiding and unbraiding my hair / shaking my leg

8. Favorite holiday: Halloween  

9. Ever been in a car crash: thankfully, no

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: Paul omg

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: drop whatever bag I’m holding

12. Age at first kiss: 14? Idk whatever the second half of 8th grade was

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: when I was 15

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long: Stephanie is my ride or die for like 11 years. Like literally I’d die without her I love her so much 

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: pump that GPA up a bit

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying (failing) to sleep

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: earlier when I was telling Stephanie a story about my dad

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: My dad 

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: idk man probably a generic sound of unhappy

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: I don’t even know because like what actually counts as a date?

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen: never happened

22. Who did you see in concert first: Jimmy Buffet I shit you not

23. Who was your favorite teacher: Paul

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: I text Stephanie 

25. Who do you think about most: probably Stephanie 

26. Is your ideal occupation? Optometrist 

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? liquor 

28. Favourite restaurant?  Saizeriya (it’s in Japan)

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla with cherry 

30. McDonlads or Burger King? McDonalds 

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? Kate McKinnon 

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? I’m like tipsy rn so? now? idk

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? honestly I don’t even known

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? Wonder? idk

35. How many pets do you have? a single dog

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? idk something stupid like some cheese 

37. When was the first time you smoked? Like a cigarette? Never. Weed? Sometime last fall when I went camping 

38. Who last sent you a text? Stephanie 

39. Who did you last send a text to? Stephanie lmao 

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? i’d just die

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? Shit this is hard because like obviously Stephanie but also my family and there are 4 people in that and I can’t pick whos the most important out of them so 

42. Favorite song? I honestly don’t know

43. Favorite movie? Heathers 

44. When did you last cuddle someone? fuck idk like late march early april?

45. When did you last have sex? see above

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? probably either jump off a roof or tell my dad I’m into girls

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? Abandonment, yes. Constantly 

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? There are way to many fucked up things to even choose 

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? Idk there was one that at first I couldn’t let go but now I can so?

50. Where would you take a road trip? Albuquerque 

51. How do Mondays feel for you? during the summer, whatever. During the year, like i put a vacuum on my face 

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? Omg Stephanie how did you get to Germany 

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? a weird combo of both tbh

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? Idk I guess getting into JMU is p good 

55. What scares you about your future? That I won’t’ do well enough to get into Optometry school 

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? easier to transport 

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? so many things 

58. How does it feel to be photographed? sometimes I hate it but i like being able to look back on the moments 

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? oh god... maybe seeing my dad cry while I went through security out of Japan for the last time 

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? No. I want my children to be better than me in every way so that once I’ve taught them all I know they can then teach me what they’ve learned 

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? I try to stand for it 

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? If I had the talent, be a stage actor 

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? That surgery went well yesterday 

64. Do you have same sex fantasies? Well I mean, yeah 

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? a pool locker room 

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? nope

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? Dylan

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? Tori

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? Dom

70. How tall are you? 5′10

71. How much do you weigh? 144 which I was hype about because the last time I’d checked I was 150

72. What color is your hair naturally?  like dirty blondeish?

73. What size jeans do you wear? 8 I think but idk

74. What is your favorite color to wear?   black

75. Do you have any piercings?    just ears

76. Do you have any tattoos?    no

77. Do you care how other people see you?    I mean yeah

78. Do you like sports?  I love ballet but other than that no 

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships?  It depends. Like below 25 if you have more than a few years I’m iffy, but the older you are the more lenient I am 

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships?    idgaf

81. Do you believe in karma or fate?    yeah

82. Do you keep a journal? no   

83. Describe the last dream you remember: I can’t remember a recent one 

84. Describe your favorite dream: Don’t really have one

85. Where are some places you would like to visit? Canada, South America, Paris, etc   

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? Paramore and Halsey but I’m too stressed about money to buy tickets 

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? BTR and early 2000s songs rn

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad?  Breakup songs. I have a playlist

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? Candles, yes

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Wine

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? I like sex on the beaches and vodka mixed with cranberry juice 

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? no cigarettes or cigars. Tried weed twice but it didn’t work 

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? Stephanie becuase she’s always there for me and when everything in my life is falling apart she’s always my rock and I just love her so much 

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? I don’t know what this means

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? Of my current friends? Nah I don’t think so

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? I DON’T WANT TO DIE

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? yeah

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you? //actual// ex? idk maybe 

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? been there, done that

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? dude

101. How often do you brush your teeth? twice a day

102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? I try to shower every day. I just took a bath and then washed my hair with the shower head

103. How often do you shave your legs?  rarely lmao

104. Political affiliation? dude

105. Opinion on abortion? duDE

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? dUDE

107. Should prostitution be legalized? honestly I don’t know enough to say

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? wtf kind of meta

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? it’s easier that way

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? just like... make everyone stop hating everyone else so much

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? acting

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? 100%

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? well technically I live in both Germany and America so this question is too complex

114. Why are you the person you are? what

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I try but I’ve had slipups

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? bc ppl suc

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I’‘d probably be a lot more outgoing 

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? no

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? Well my mom just texted me and she really liked turtles 

120. Want someone back in your life? At times, but then I remember they’re gone for a reason 

121. What are you excited for? PRAGUE

122. Are you scared to fall in love? sometimes 

123. When is your next road trip?idk

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? told stephanie I love her

125. Do you like to cuddle? yeh

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? maybe? idk

127. Plans for tomorrow? we’re going to see castles 

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? too much

129. How is life going for you right now? :/

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? yep

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? tori

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? I mean I never have, but I think I could if the military would butt out 

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? transformation 

134. Background on your cell phone? the lockscreen is a gradient from purple to pink and the background is Tyler on a piano 

135. What are you thinking about right this second? these questions 

136. Last book you read? How was it? I Wrote This For You. made me cry. I loved it 

137. What is the last thing you bought? coffee at the airport 

138. Do you live with your parents? during holidays 

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? no

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? not like A-list

141. What are you like when you’re drunk?  super giggly 

142. What are you like when you’re high? idk

143. Do you want children? yeah

144. Do you want a church wedding? no

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? as many as I can 

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope 

147. Who was your first real crush? this guy Matt in 4th grade lmao

148. What are you allergic to? grass and pollen 

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? rn I like the name Vita but ask again in like 3 months 

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Girl just because I feel like I’d be able to raise her better 

151. How did you get your name? My sister pointed at my mom’s baby bump and was like “Michelle!” and they were like ok

152. Name one thing about your body you love? my cheek bones 

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy. Like fully

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? nah

155. Do you think aliens are real? YES

156. What age did you start drinking? my first drink was at 14 but I started like regulatory drinking at 17 

157. What do you think of President Obama? YES

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? nah

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? idk

160. Story of your first kiss? we were at a park 

161. Story of the first time you made out with someone? same as ^

162. Story of the first time you had sex? I went over to her house while her parents were at work 

163. When did you first have sex? when I was 18

164. First time you gave/ received oral sex? ^

165. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? nope

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? Holtzman

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 44/87/19

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? yeah

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person? 14, when we broke up and I realized I was confusing a crush for love 

171. Do you talk to yourself? wayyyy too much 

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 20

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? tinder 

174. Do you have any hickies? not rn

175. Turn ons? being confident without being cocky 

176. Turn offs? acting like you’re entitled to me

177. What qualities did you get from your mom? petty, creative 

178. What qualities did you get from your dad? idiot, hard working 

179. How many siblings do you have? 1

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? yeah

that took so long omg. ily

[theroseonhelenascoffindoor]

On Tattoos

™ Okay, so I usually always come here only when there’s some deep revelation of mine that I need to discuss with myself by writing as a means to sort out my thoughts. I don’t think anyone is reading this, but on the offchance that someone is -bear with me. Also, here is a 23-year-old’s experience with tattoos and what I’ve learned in the process, if you’re interested in reading what I have to say before you get one yourself.

I’m getting tatted after a year and a half tomorrow. I’ll be bluntly honest: I don’t know that I have completely thought this one through, but I want to get it. This could be me just second-guessing every single little thing in my life like I always have and always do, but it could also be my gut telling me to come to a halt.

Those who know me, know that I don’t just do anything on a whim; I plan things carefully, considering every possible outcome, but when I get so excited with a concept I usually develop this tunnel vision and get carried away. I think 2/3 out of my 4 tattoos were the result of a rushed decision, and I’ve come to regret all four of them at one point or another, and then fall in love with them again, and then get worried and anxious all over again. 

Don’t get me wrong: even though a solid 75% of my tattoos are the result of a whim, they are about extremely meaningful things in my life. The decision to have them inked may be rushed, but it’s not like I got ‘yolo’ tattooed on my skin; these things are very near and dear to my heart.

Just so you, ghost readers, can get an idea of what I’m talking about, I’ll briefly describe them:

1. A pair of musical clefts, the F cleft on my left hand and the G cleft on my right. I play the piano, have been for ten years now (started when I was 13, holy fucking shit) and it’s a central part of my life. I’m by no means the next Argerich, and struggle with my Bach, but I love playing the piano. It takes my mind off things, and to be able to create music is, honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, one of the few things I truly find some genuine happiness in. 

Sometimes I look at them and cringe a little because I got them on my hands, right under my thumbs, very clearly out there for the world to see, impossible to conceal without heavy makeup. I was a very bold 17 year old, wasn’t I.

Still, I love them, and though they are anxiety-inducing from time to time because of their obnoxious placement, I couldn’t imagine having got those tattoos anywhere else on my body. I love my hands because they are my instruments for creation. It wouldn’t make any sense, for me, in my life, to get them on the neck, or the arm, or anywhere else.

2. A Deathly Hallows tattoo on my right shoulder. I’ve always known I wanted a Harry Potter tattoo, because, again, very central part of my life both as a child and an adult, played a very important role in the development of the person I am today. I may not always like that person, but it is me.

Without Harry Potter I wouldn’t have learned to speak English, I wouldn’t have become interested in all things anglospoken and I may never have got a real dimension of what a big, broad, beautiful world is out there, beyond the limits of my birthplace. I would never have found a profession tailormade for me -that of translation. Perhaps I may not have even entered the world of reading, and all books have to offer. 

Then again...I probably would’ve liked to get something more meaningful and less run-of-the-mill when it comes to your standard Harry Potter tattoos. I wanted something that branded me as a Proud Harry Potter Fan ™, and in truth, I quite like the aesthetic of the symbol, but, given the chance to get something else that was also Harry Potter-related, I’d get something a lot more personal.

3. “Life without music would be a mistake” on the side of my forearm, in cursive. In Latin. Enough said.

4. A TARDIS tattoo on my forearm. The story behind this tattoo is too long for a post that is already a good two thousand words in length, but suffice it to say that it involves a dead friend and a shared love for Doctor Who.

I’ve come to regret it because it’s quite large and is always bound to draw a lot of attention. I love the design (black and white, very thin lines, enclosed in a rhombus frame), don’t quite like so much all the looks it attracts.

I still remember the first day my boss saw it, and though she didn’t say anything, I caught several quick glances down my forearm when I wasn’t looking and it made me realise that it is a big, beautiful thing, but a very strange tattoo to behold. The fact that they can only be concealed by using long sleeves doesn’t help matters much.

I can’t picture myself without it, though. Recently, while on yet another one of my usual ‘oh-my-god-what-have-I-done-to-my-body’ spirals, I had a dream in which I was getting it removed, and the procedure wasn’t painful at all, but I woke up to find myself crying over the loss of something that at this point feels so utterly mine, I cannot conceive of my body without it.

So, what have I learned from these experiences?

1. Try not to get tattooed until your twenties. I feel like you don’t really know yourself until you’ve reached a certain age, and when you’re a teen, you have no idea who you’re going to be in five years, even though it can feel like you have already figured your shit out.

Kid, I wanted to get a Nirvana tattoo. No, not a meaningful lyric. No, no particular gorgeous artwork. I wanted to get the Nirvana font tattooed, just because I Kurt Cobain spoke to me on a deeper level. And he still does -but I don’t feel like having a band name on my arm. Same goes for the Mockingjay I wanted to get tattooed on my other shoulder to match the Deathly Hallows, because I liked the Hunger Games. Sure, I think it’s a good series, but it’s nowhere near as relevant to me now as it was when I was a little less literate. (Not implying it’s a bad piece of work -it’s actually a really good introduction to dystopia for teens, and that has a lot of merit- but there are books I’ve read and come to love which have made a more lasting impression on me than Suzanne Collins’s books did.)

This is a personal appreciation, and one you’re free to disagree, because of course there are 15-year-olds out there who are really smart and self-aware. I just wasn’t one of them. And this isn’t to say I was some wild-partying girl with a death wish who did all the drugs -I was as unremarkable and average as they come. I was the counter-culture girl of the town, straight dark hair and heavy eyeliner included, and now I’m pretty much your standard plaid-wearing adult with a softer edge. My thesis in all of this is, you might not have an idea of who you are until you get out of highschool and into the brave new world beyond the walls of your teenage years.

People change; interests change, and who I was five years ago is a person completely different to the person I am today. Sure, she’s an integral part of me, but the tattoos she would’ve liked to get wouldn’t have been relevant to the person I am today.

I am lucky, because I did get three of my four tattoos before the age of 20, and thankfully, they still speak to me. I still love music. I still love Harry Potter. But I could’ve done a lot worse.

2. Don’t get tattoos in languages you’re not proficient in. I had my Nietzsche quote translated into Latin by someone who had studied the language -but evidently, they hadn’t studied enough to make one apparent grammar mistake I’ll have to wear on my skin until I die -or until I become a millionaire and can afford getting laser removal like I can afford an apple; whichever happens first.

We all like to make fun of that basic, dumb dude who got ‘laundry’ tattooed in Mandarin, until we go and make the same mistake ourselves.

3. Don’t be afraid of how your tattoos are going to look when your skin gets wrinkly. It’s time we all as a society embraced aging. I know my tattoos will look worse for wear when I’m sixty, but they’ll still tell my story. I’m not the least bit worried about what my cleft tattoos will look like in my time-worn hands. They’ll still play the piano.

4. People are going to ask about your tattoos. If you can’t explain them without feeling uncomfortable, then probably don’t get them, or get them some place where they can’t see. My TARDIS tattoo is meaningful beyond words to me, but that meaning isn’t so easily conveyed to my acquaintances. It’s not like you can casually mention how it represents embracing change and having the will to live to fight another day and to do the right thing by someone else and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and the powerful force of science fiction to affect history and yadda yadda yadda in an office small talk conversation...right?

5. You’re bound to regret at least one of your tattoos, even if for a split second, even if you love them as profoundly as you do your mum, or your pet, or your best friend. This does not mean you’ve made a mistake. I doubt there’s a person out there who hasn’t second-guessed a tattoo they’ve already got.

In my case, I get anxious then and again about my tattoos in regards to their visibility, and what people may think of them. If this is something that concerns you, you might want to consider getting inked on your legs, thighs, back or ribs. 

But no matter what, remember: these tattoos mean something to you. You got them for a reason. They are telling your story. Sure, there are some people out there who may be quick to judge without basis -but these days, they are very few and far between. And in any case, these are not the people you want to surround yourself with.

The people you do want to surround yourself with are people like my friend from dance class, who was really interested in getting to know the meaning behind my TARDIS tattoo. I spent a whole hour during our train ride to a presentation in the city explaining Doctor Who lore to her, and I had her full attention (those who watch Doctor Who know that we can easily bore people or freak them out trying to explain the regeneration cycle). What I mean by this is that your tattoos are an invitation for people to know you on a deeper level, and those who bother asking may find that you are a remarkably interesting individual. Those who don’t, don’t. Those who look down on you without even trying to understand...to hell with them.

Having said all of this...I think I’m going to go ahead with my My Chemical Romance tattoo. 

I do feel some of that second-guessing guilt in anticipation. I’ll be the first to admit I might not be thinking this all the way through -after all, I got the idea just a few days ago. It might just be the intoxicating thrill of getting inked with a friend (we’re getting different MCR-related tattoos, it’s not like they are matching).

But MCR have been with me for a very long time, and have taught me the beauty in all living things. They taught me to channel my pain through any form of art. They are the very reason I’m even writing this -I can think more clearly about permanent life decisions when I write about them. I’ve always known I want to get something that represents them as a band, and this is as good a time as it’ll ever be, with their reunion and whatnot.

I don’t think I’ll regret it, or perhaps I will, as I have all of my tattoos from time to time. It’s small, and black, and not so visible to the naked eye, but I’ll know it’s there. It’s the first three notes of Welcome to the Black Parade, on a staff, with the G cleft and F sharp. It has a double meaning -my love for My Chemical Romance and everything this particular song stands for, my love for piano, and my love for playing their music on my piano.

It may be a rushed decision, but damn it, I’m feeling good about this.

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

11+ Kids and Teens with Celiac Disease Already Doing Seriously Amazing Things

New blog post! If you read this blog regularly, you know that I love applying a positive perspective to life with celiac disease. At times, though, having a chronic illness or needing to follow a gluten free can feel pretty dang hard.

That’s why today’s post is highlighting 11+ kids and teens who are totally kicking booty at life, even with celiac disease! Whether you have a child with celiac you want to feel less alone or just want to read about some amazing members of the younger generations, keep scrolling to discover some pretty inspiring girls and guys.

1. A (Literal) Master Chef

If you’re a fan of the cooking show, Master Chef Junior, you probably already know all about Che Spiotta. Spoiler alert: he’s the winner of the latest season of Master Chef Junior.

According to this interview, the now-thirteen-year-old has still not mastered the art of baking gluten free bread, but he certainly doesn’t let his diet get in the way of enjoying himself in the kitchen. As Che puts it: “I probably started on the stove when I was 3 or 4. I think that’s because I’m gluten free, and at first I didn’t know what I had; there were just lots of foods I couldn’t eat...When I realized I was gluten free, I just kept on cooking. I realized how much fun it is. I love the creativity about it. “

2. 10 and 11-Year-Old Authors

The most impressive part of these stories isn’t that Lillian Bordoni and Kristen Adam respectively published books about celiac disease at ten and eleven years old. What really gets me are motivations behind these girls’ separate projects. Kristen, author of Dear Celiac (available on Amazon), wanted to keep kids with celiac disease from feeling lonely when they were first diagnosed, like Kristen felt. Meanwhile, Lillian reportedly had one of the most extreme forms of celiac disease seen by Children’s Hospital Colorado. So she wrote and illustrated Cecilia the Celiac Superhero (available on Story Jumper) to tell show readers that anyone can thrive with celiac disease as long as “they just all put their family together and try super duper hard.”

3. Hockey Superstar 

If you’re a big fan of hockey, you probably already know about Kaapo Kakko, a Finnish hockey player who was the second draft pick for the 2019 NHL. But besides being an amazing hockey player who won three gold medals in the Finnish hockey world, Kakko also has diabetes and celiac disease. And Kakko won’t let either of those conditions get in the way of him dominating the ice.

In fact, when asked about his health struggles, the eighteen-year-old replied, “It’s nothing for me. I got (diagnosed) five years ago. It’s a normal thing for me.”

4. Members of the Celiac Youth Leadership Council in Seattle

Seattle Children's Hospital is doing more than just diagnosing kids with celiac disease; it's also empowering celiac kids and teens to take part in a mostly kid-run outreach and mentor program for people with celiac disease. Besides raising celiac awareness in their community, celiac teens like Elle Penarczyk are running a gluten free food drive for a local food bank and "testing gluten-free products sold in regular bakeries and pizzerias to see if they’re affected by flour in the air." Talk about a hospital - and a group of young celiacs - who are seriously going above and beyond.

5. Twin Authors Heading to College

As the self-named Casey the College Celiac, I obviously love hearing about the new generations of celiacs heading off to college. In particular, I love hearing about new advocates educating others along the way...and Rayna and Hallie Katzman definitely fit both bills.

Via the twins' Facebook page

Before they went off to college, the girls worked with their mother to write and publish a book based on their celiac diagnosis at age 13 called Everybody’s Got Something: My First Year with Celiac Disease (also available on Amazon). According to this interview, the girls wanted to create a book that filled the gap between books about celiac disease for younger kids and for adults, and gave them the information they wish they had at 13.

6. Miss Pinal County 

Josephine Taylor didn't let celiac disease or Hashimoto's keep her from winning Miss Pinal County - and she's using her platform to raise some major celiac awareness. In particular, she's been working on making sure that all Arizona high schools have a safe, cross-contamination-free microwave that students with dietary restrictions can use. That way, students with celiac disease or food allergies can still eat in the cafeteria along with everyone else. At least as of this report, Taylor's efforts have paid off in one school district. But I'm sure Taylor's mission is far from over.

7. Taylor Miller from Hale Life

I've been fortunate enough to meet this teen in real life (at the first Gluten Free Teen Summit), and Taylor Miller is as kind in person as he is online. Taylor is the guy behind the super popular gluten free website, Hale Life (formally Gluten Away). Besides being a huge celiac and chronic illness advocate that speaks at tons of different events around America, Taylor also works with gluten free brands on social media marketing, owns a gluten free bakery in Tampa, Florida with his mom, and has started taking college classes. Suffice to say, he's a pretty cool guy!

8. Miss Nebraska Hopeful

Lianna Prill started competing in pageants as a junior in high school and qualified to compete for the spot of Miss Nebraska in 2014. It wasn't until Prill's dad was diagnosed with celiac disease that Prill eventually realized her constant migraines and flu-like symptoms could be symptoms of the same disease. Since going gluten and dairy free, Prill says, “Now I’m a new woman. All that stuff with being sick that I just wanted to forget about was actually part of a plan. I can’t wait to share that story and hopefully save some lives.”

At least as of this Facebook post in 2017, it seems like Prill is still fighting for her crown - but she did come in third place!

9. Celiac Strong Camp Founder

I've loved seeing that, nowadays, there are several celiac camps that occur all over the country. One of these camps, though, actually started out as Sabrina DeVos's Girl Scout project when she was just 16 years old. Nowadays, Sabrina is 21, but her Celiac Strong Camp is still (pun intended) going strong. Her main goal? In Sabrina's words: "I want other kids to experience the joy of having a few of worry free days and create a place where they can just be kids."

10. A Creative Cooking Champion

If you need some inspiration for getting creative in the kitchen, here's another inspirational teen for you to check out! Her name is Maizy Boosin and she beat three other young chefs to become a Chopped Junior Champion. Besides raising celiac awareness in the actual episode by talking about her condition, Boosin also shared plans to donate some of her $10,000 winnings to celiac disease research and education.

11. All of the gluten free and celiac kids you know in your own life! 

Of course, we can't forget to celebrate every kid, preteen and teenager who's navigating the usual hurdles of life along with eating gluten free and thriving with a chronic illness. And if you or the inspirational little celiac in your life needs even more young role models to look up to, you can check out Gluten Free Living's list of epic gluten free ambassadors, who range from a young cookbook author donating all her proceeds to celiac research to kids just spreading celiac awareness in their own community.

What I Hope Everyone Knows about Living with Celiac Disease as a Teen

Honestly, this post really hits home for me because I was diagnosed with celiac disease at age 16. In fact, I was diagnosed only a few weeks before my senior year...and less than a month before I was asked out on my first date. So before I even really knew how to take care of and feed myself safely with celiac disease, I already had to navigate the awkward reality of living with celiac disease at an age where 99% of social events revolve around food. And I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It. Was. (And still is, in grad school). Hard. It was hard to not know what to order while visiting an ice cream shop on my first date, or to constantly turn down food at pizza parties, graduation events, freshman orientation and all throughout college. But I did it. Heck, even though I was hospitalized for celiac complications as a freshman in college, I can still say that I created some amazing (gluten free) memories during those four years.

At the end of the day, I think these kids are sending the same message I try to always convey: that celiac disease can be tricky at any age but that you can still kick butt through it. And you might even change the world along the way! No questions - just tell me your thoughts! <3 via Blogger https://ift.tt/2MptcRC

[flauntpage]

McAdoo a Better Job – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 34, Saquon Barkley 13

I laughed out loud when Giants fans began booing their team down 14-3 in the second quarter last night.

Why?

Because these were probably the same fans who threw a childish fit when Ben McAdoo benched Eli Manning for Geno Smith last season, whining to the high heavens because it brought an end to Eli’s streak of 210 consecutive starts for the Giants, who were 2-9 at the time and going nowhere quickly.

McAdoo lost the war and got himself fired. Manning is still calling the shots, yet the Giants continue to suck, and last night they fell to 1-5 with a 21-point home loss to a division rival.

I guess McAdoo knew what he was doing after all. Maybe New York fans were full of themselves, sentimentally clinging to a fading veteran when they had their shot at one of five franchise quarterbacks on the draft board back in April. Instead they went for a stud running back who will unfortunately waste the early portion of his career playing for a God-awful team.

It’s surely ironic, but also deserved. I bet a lot of those fans that cried about Eli’s demotion probably also booed him last night. You reap what you sow, and the Giants stubbornly sowed the seeds of future ass kickings, which are now bearing fruit. The G-Men now inherit from the Browns the role of NFL slump buster, the team you beat up on to get your season straightened out. They played that role to perfection last night, allowing the Eagles to find their groove with a comfortable divisional win that sees them pull back to .500 with a 3-3 record.

1) Carson Wentz

He made game-changing plays last night, plays that we didn’t see from him in week three or week four.

Starting with the first touchdown, he escaped the pocket, rolled to his right, and fired across his body for a score on a 3rd and 7.

Another play that stood out to me was the third down in the second half where he again moved to his right, held the play, and then spotted Nelson Agholor down the field to pick up a huge chunk of yards move the chains.

The franchise quarterback just looked a lot more like himself last night and started to show shades of 2017 Carson in completing 26 of 36 passes for 278 yards and three touchdowns. He picked out eight different targets and really connected with top receiver Alshon Jeffery, who caught two of those scores and eight of his 12 targets for 74 yards.

It’s now 11 career games with a 100+ passer rating for Carson, which is already 6th-most in Eagles history. He’s thrown 133 consecutive passes without an interception, which is the 3rd longest streak of his career, a streak he’ll break in week six if he throws three more without a pick.

That’s good stuff for a third year, 25-year-old quarterback coming off an ACL injury.

2) Play calling

Much better than it was four days ago.

The early lead allowed the Eagles to settle in with their running game and control the clock a bit, which in turn also allowed the defense to really get after Manning and force the Giants into a one-dimensional dink and dunk type of crap attack.

38 called pass plays to 29 runs is a really nice mix, a 57-43 ratio. That’s just about perfect, and it’s what the Eagles typically finished with last year, usually 60-40 pass/run for the middle chunk of the season when they were just ripping teams apart.

Wendell Smallwood ran the ball 18 times and Corey Clement 11 times, so they got through relatively unscathed without having to risk Clement too much in his return from injury. Clement was on a “pitch count,” so to speak, and was limited coming into this game.

I particularly thought this was a really nice play call, sort of a tunnel/bubble wide receiver screen for Jeffery, but at the goal line:

One of the easiest touchdowns of Alshon Jeffery's career pic.twitter.com/f2yzlt7KCd

— The Bitter Birds (@AdrianFedkiw) October 12, 2018

Really poor effort from the Giants there, but nice design from Doug, and actually stolen from the New England Patriots and inserted into the Eagles playbook this week. 

3) Situational football and auxiliary wins

They really struggled in this department on Sunday, and let me dump that in here for reference.

versus Vikings:

lost time of possession, 33 minutes to 27 minutes

-1 turnover margin

2 for 9 on third down (22.2% conversion rate)

allowed Minnesota to go 4-9 on third down (36.4%)

lost 28 yards on three sacks

2 for 5 success rate in red zone

8 penalties for 52 yards

allowed a defensive touchdown

versus Giants:

won time of possession, 32.5 minutes to 27.5 minutes

+1 turnover margin

9-16 on third down (56.3%)

allowed New York to go 4-14 on third down (28.6%)

lost 7 yards on 1 sack

4 for 6 success rate in red zone

4 penalties for 25 yards

no special teams or defensive touchdowns allowed

Literally every single one of those areas was improved upon last night, and these are the kinds of things that win you football games. Wentz was especially fantastic on third down, a carryover of the situational football smarts we saw from him last season.

4) The offensive line

They certainly picked it up after a poor week five, allowing just one sack and five quarterback hits, three of which took place during the first two drives.

Jason Peters, however, cannot stay on the field, and it might be time to just let JP ride off into the sunset as the Eagles hand the left tackle reins to Big V and Jordan Mailata:

Sources are telling me Jason Peters May have a torn right biceps but it’s the kind he can still play with…. MRI will tell more tomorrow

— Derrick Gunn (@RealDGunnNBCS) October 12, 2018

The biggest positive is that Lane Johnson made it through the game with the bum ankle and now gets to rest up for nine full days. Isaac Seumalo also did fine at left guard and laid a nice block on Corey Clement’s touchdown run, with Clement just following the left side of the line into the end zone:

Obviously Johnson needs to stay healthy going forward. Last night was a positive step for the line, but if Peters can’t play with the bicep, you’ve got Big V on the left, and if Johnson misses time, you have to pull Seumalo over to right tackle and put Stefen Wisniewski back at left guard. I don’t know how far this team goes with a pair of backup tackles on the field, one of whom is not even a tackle.

5) I’m on a boat

The Giants are 4-19 since taking this photo:

You also saw Odell Beckham Jr. hit the locker room early before halftime. He lied and said it had to do with “hydration.” Maybe he’s thirsty for a new quarterback.

There was another situation where he started yelling at a fan, not a New York Giants supporter, but an actual mechanical fan on the sidelines:

Odell Beckham Jr getting closer to the fans tonight pic.twitter.com/pxVuaiJneg

— FanDuel (@FanDuel) October 12, 2018

After the game, I appreciated Martellus Bennett telling Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to “shut the fuck up” –

Man these commentators have taken 150 shots at Odell tonight. Shut the fuck up. Talk about the game stop trying to vilify every single thing he does. The giants are a bad team and it's not because of him. Criticize how bad eli is playing.

— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) October 12, 2018

That’s a  take. Can’t say I disagree, but OBJ is just a shitty leader overall. He’s not the problem, but he says and does stupid things that don’t help his case.

And if it feels like no one is talking about the Eagles this morning, you sensed that correctly, because 99% of what I’m hearing is focused on how bad the Giants are. Hell, that was the first four paragraphs of this story, plus the headline.

That’s not to take anything from the Eagles, not at all, but New York truly is a raging dumpster fire at this point.

I made this terrible image last night of the Cowboys and Giants as dumpster fires in a modified Spider Man meme:

Not my best work. I put about five seconds into building this, same amount of time the Giants spent building their offensive line.

6) Jalen Mills

The first play in which he stood out was when he whiffed on Barkley’s big run in the first quarter, the 46 yarder that set up the field goal. Mills was 12 yards deep on the play, lined up almost behind safety Malcolm Jenkins if you can believe it.

In the second quarter, he gave up the 39-yard pass to Cody Latimer, which was the only completion he allowed that went more than ten yards.

Again he was pretty good in the red zone, keyed by that pass break up on OBJ in the corner. He finished with two PBUs and actually led the Eagles with 10 tackles.

I’ll go through the film later today and next week, but it looked like Jim Schwartz had his corners playing a little more press coverage in this game, which you can afford to do when you’re playing with a lead. The defensive line also did a really nice job of getting to Manning, which took some pressure off the secondary. The only really bad thing I saw from the defense overall was Nigel Bradham and Rasul Douglas getting cooked on the Saquon Barkley touchdown run.

7) Refereeing

It was alright.

They missed a helmet-to-helmet collision on the third drive, when Clement was stuffed near the goal line. Officials also didn’t flag Sidney Jones when he got his feet tied up with a receiver in the end zone on the Giants’ second drive. Seemed like a good no-call to me, because I don’t think Jones had his hand on the opponent.

I swear I also saw a facemask on DeAndre Carter’s third or fourth punt return, the one where he broke a tackle and picked up an extra yard or two.

Michael Bennett, on the roughing the passer, I mean, whatever. It’s the weight rule, you know? He didn’t try to break his fall, and that now gets you a whistle in the modern day NFL:

".@eagles DE Michael Bennett used his body weight to land on the quarterback while making the tackle with no attempt to go to the side." -AL #PHIvsNYG pic.twitter.com/itXnEap6U6

— NFL Officiating (@NFLOfficiating) October 12, 2018

The penalty called against the Giants for bringing down Wentz was much worse, because it was basically a grab and takedown, like a Judo throw on the football field.

Good camera angle also on the Smallwood fumble that was overturned. I think we made it through this game relatively unscathed from an officiating perspective. It also helps when you’re beating the tar out of the other team.

8) Doug’s best call?

Kicking the field goal before halftime made a lot of sense. At that point New York was pretty much cooked, so take the points there and don’t give them anything that might provide the slightest momentum change or glimmer of hope.

I also think the decision to hurry up to the line and run the ball after the iffy Zach Ertz first down catch in the third quarter was really smart. No Giants challenge there because the Birds kept it moving.

9) Doug’s worst call?

I don’t think he had any poor calls. I’m not sure what the hell that was with the 3rd and 5 run/pass option in the fourth quarter that Wentz threw to Ertz behind the line of scrimmage. Looks like they sort of jumbled the hand off and the timing was botched.

Doug looked pretty dialed in. The glasses were a pretty sharp look. I think he has a little bit of Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg going on here:

Photo Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

10) Joe Buck and Troy Aikman

Again I thought they were fine. Buck has a little bit of a sardonic side to him that pops up if you pay attention closely. I think he’s more wily and clever than most people realize.

I think the takeaway from the broadcast was those weird Tide commercials featuring the broadcast crew. What was the deal with that?

Remember when Tide was cool because people were eating the pods? I miss those days

— Brian J. Haddad (@BrianJHaddad) October 12, 2018

Agree with Sludge. I actually would prefer Tide pod eating to watching another one of those commercials.

The Aladdin trailer was also interesting. Goofy commercial night overall. I’d prefer a Joe Cordell advertisement or maybe Barbera’s on the Boulevard moving forward.

The post McAdoo a Better Job – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 34, Saquon Barkley 13 appeared first on Crossing Broad.

McAdoo a Better Job – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 34, Saquon Barkley 13 published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/