#tfw you spelled the name right and somehow it still fucked up the one you DIDN'T CHECK CUZ YOU KNEW WHAT THE CONSONANT WAS

[essektheylyss]

Bishop Raphaniel Charlock really just rocketed up my faves list, I was expecting this because who am I but a person who loves a seemingly pious person with a web of lies and a lot of tricks up their sleeve, but I'm LAUGHING, this absolute bastard of a radish

[empty-dream]

Me Watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 22

Remember that Naruto vs Pain best worst fight scene? Where everybody’s making crazy ass face and noodle-y stances? This is not on that scale, but it’s still this.

*Agrius!Atalanta bites Jeanne* Jeanne: “BAD KITTY! BAD KITTY!!”

Karna you’re too polite for your own good

WASN’T EXPECTING CAULES POPPING OUT HERE AND NOW BUT OKAY VERY WELCOME

But how does he come in here again? Did he just step down from his plane? Is that even possible?

Sieg: “Wait, you want to save your original master?” Caules: “Yeah they don’t have command spells anymore what’s the point?” Karna: “Because I want to. Is that weird?” Both: “Well, it’s saintly as fuck, for one thing.”

Seeing Caules negotiating is always intriguing thing for me.

CAULES TO THE RESCUE! And his unfastened collar :))

I have a question what is the exact mechanism of saving these former red masters??

Sieg: “If attacking Jeanne is your master’s order then why go after me instead?” Karna: “I have this promise with Siegfried to fight to the death and I will give up everything to do that.” Sieg: “Ooooooookay I don’t know whether to be awed or scared.”

I like the music it’s so full of pride.

And here we have another type-moon male protagonist swearing to protect the female protagonist who is stronger than him

Granted at this point Sieg is just loaded with tons of eleventh hour superpower and probably kinda more powerful than many other servants but the point kinda still stands?

Back at episode 22 of My Cat from Hell

It’s been almost 3 years and I still don’t understand why Agrius Metamorphosis has to morph into that kind of suit? Isn’t this like the prototype of Dangerous Beast?

Agrius!Atalanta evolution! Sexy-boar-beast-with-batsy-wings-and-dark-arrow-Agrius Atalanta.

Welp, people has always been like that – people. Past present and future, the nature of people hasn’t changed that much.

Jeanne: “The end never justifies the means!!!” Agrius!Atalanta: “Fuck that!!!”

Wow I like how this fight isn’t too dark and I can see what they’re doing and the viewpoint is good.

WOW she rips off her own wing o_o

I’m bracing for another luminosite eternelle but GREEN LIGHT SOARING THROUGH YESSS

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING ACHILLES HERE YOU ARE FINALLY

Achilles: “Go, Jeanne. It’s sis’ and my problem now.” Jeanne: “I fucking knew it something’s up with you two.”

I’m kinda bummed A-1 doesn’t make it explicit that Achilles really does regret not picking up the clues and just letting Atalanta goes out of control.

His face looks like a boy shyly apologizing for breaking a neighbor’s window.

Why is Semiramis so beautiful and dignified here??

Jeanne: “You seriously believe in Shirou’s humanity salvation plan?” Semiramis: “Yeah, he even told me I’d rule the world after the salvation” Jeanne: “You fucking liar. Nobody’s ruling nobody if it’s truly salvation and you just sound like a certain golden Babylonian asshole king.”

Jeanne: “So how does he plan to do it?” Semiramis: “Well, tbh, I dunno.” Jeanne: “Are you fucking kidding me”

Wow this is so vivid. Does A-1 use color play to balance the noodle figures?

How to fight nukes by Sieg!Fried: Slash the nukes apart.

I.. I do not have any words for this fight, it’s vivid and flashy and powerful.

Though I’m wondering will Mamaramis be mad that their children are destroying her fortress with nukes and lavas?

I like Karna’s armors

TASTE THE EYEBEAMS! -Karna

The eyebeams cuts Sieg!Fried’s beautiful wild long hair THAT’S CLOSE AND ALSO A CRIME

Karna can you stop praising your enemies every time you fight? My heart is going to explode

Oh shit oh shit he’s going to VASAVI SHAKTI

Karna: “What’s your name?” Sieg!Fried: “Sieg!” Karna: “Wonderful name” Me: It’s a bit uncreative but it’s made up of honor and gratitude and now that you’re saying it’s wonderful then wonderful it is.

I LOST MY SHIT WHEN I WATCHED KARNA GOING DIVA IT WAS MIDNIGHT

The look of approval between Sieg!Fried and Karna is a blessing in itself

Move, Clarent Blood Arthur vs Balmung, it’s time for the new best clash: Vasavi Shakti vs Balmung

It’s the third time he uses the command spell right? Cause I can hear Jeanne’s Sieg sense tingling with exasperation.

Sieg!Fried: “Even this is not enough-“ Astolfo: “A SHIELD DELIVERY EXPRESS COMING THROUGHHHHHHH!!!!”

Astolfo: “Are you seriously giving me your shield noble phantasm?? You’re crazy.” Achilles: “I don’t need it anymore and beside it’s my promise to sensei.” Astolfo: “Oh okay. You’re still crazy tho.”

Sometimes I wonder if at this point Achilles is ready to give everything even his life to stop Atalanta because that damn shield is too strong to be given away just like that.

Manly screaming Astolfo is something I never thought I’d need in my life

Ain’t no shield like using a world containing your life as one.

Astolfo: “Wow I didn’t expect using a shield would cause an entire trippy journey into Achilles’s entire life, isn’t this breach of privacy?” Achilles somewhere: “It’s called Achilles Cosmos what exactly did you expect from it?”

Wow wowowo the sudden creation Greek architecture buildings is just… wow. Even Karna is amazed.

The scene when Sieg!Fried and Karna race to grab Balmung is an extreme version of when two people race to grab the last pizza.

When in fight, do NOT only bring one sword! -Sieg!Fried

If this entire fight was not Sieg!Fried vs Karna but only Sieg using Siegfried’s power vs Karna, would there still be anyone who would watch this?

Karna: “Sorry for dragging you with my ego” Sieg: “No, sorry I win through Astolfo’s sudden help” Karna: “No, Astolfo’s your servant and your power. It’s still a fair fight.” Sieg: “Holy crap you are like the greatest person in this world”

I wanna bet at some point Sieg’s like ‘Why do all these heroes have enough time to talk about lots of things when they’re one and half foot into the grave?’

Karna: “Jeanne will be in danger if she finds Shakespeare.” Sieg: “Alright thanks for the info gotta go bye!” Karna: “That was fast.“

Remember when honor and chivalry in war is no good as it will only meet betrayal? No, Fate/Apocrypha isn’t about that.

Karna would die alone if he was a dick but no he wasn’t a dick and Astolfo gets that so he was willing to chat and honor him before Karna fades away.

Karna: “I believe I hardly did anything worthy of a Servant” Me: HOLY SHIT KARNA STAHP YOUR HUMILITY IS KILLING MEE

Goodbye, my kind, hero of charity.

AND HERE I THOUGHT I’D EAT MY SHOE BECAUSE THEY’D SHIFT ACHILLES VS ATALANTA TO THE NEXT EP BUT NOPE THANK GOD

Yes people, the ultimate reason why I keep up with Apocrypha is because I want to see Achilles vs Atalanta and the known result of it

I found almost nothing until today about the fight beside that one line in beastlair forum and an online translated side material and I live with only those for years SO YEAH JUDGE ME I DON’T CARE

Wow the music is so catchy

You know A-1, you can use those 3 seconds for other more important actions on scene instead of Atalanta’s panties.

On a different note, here we are seeing a rider who fights more like a lancer versus an archer who fights more like a berserker

Ow he stabs her. It hurts :(

OW her arrows come back and stabs him. It hurts too :((

Aw yis he’s cradling her, I imagined this for like 3 years and it actually is like this.

NO NONONONO NOT THIS SAD SOUNDTRACK

I’d pay for Atalanta and Achilles to have another 3 seconds to talk more.

Why is Atalanta the one crying? Pretty sure in the novel it’s Achilles who’s crying. It’s even explicitly states in the side material that it’s his very tears and heroic naivety that makes Atalanta feel a bit better in the end.

The English sub makes it sounds like she was fine falling into corruption whereas I’m kinda sure (even tho my Japanese skill is zero) she’d mean she was fine with him stopping her. Correct me if I’m wrong tho.

It kinda hurts that she disappears before he does like I imagined that they’d disappear together, I know there is the battle continuation excuse but.. He has to watch her die and isn’t that painful?

Not gonna lie. Regardless of how short their exchange is and the inaccuracy of who’s crying, I’m loving the detail of this scene. Like how he barely yet still holds her in his arms, how the blood drips on her, how he sighs a little and embraces her as soon as she wakes up as herself, how his head slightly moves as she leans closer, how she weakly caresses his cheek, leaving bloodstains, and he just closes his eyes, and how she finally disappears then he follows- Oh my it looks like I just wrote an entire fanfiction

Isn’t it funny that I ship them for fun since he hits on her which is from vol 1 and then somehow it ends up in tragedy?

Tfw you care too much of a side couple (that isn’t really a couple) way more than the actual main couple

And now all of you understand why those two are on the credit together and why it gives me feels right of the bat

Maybe Achilles’s last words were the ones he wanted to, or should have, say back at episode 19, before Atalanta fell into madness. If he did, would this not happen?

Oh shit I’m weak to when-the-ending-song-is-played-without-the-usual-credit

Holy shit I just read the actual english lyrics of the entire song and my god isn’t this too fitting for this episode??? I’m grossly sobbing.

Goodbye, my pure huntress and brave warrior.

I love when Karna’s spear completely disappears as the song ends.

As of this update, I have replayed Achilles vs Atalanta for 100 times

Semiramis: “I’m waiting for someone else, actually.” Jeanne: “Who?” Semiramis: “That damn brat who rams an airplane into my home” Jeanne: “PFFT.”

The suspicious bitch face look that Jeanne gives as she’s running to the other side of the throne room is what I’m living for

As far as Fate/Apocrypha goes, this episode is the best in terms of everything.

And my long-awaited Achilles vs Atalanta finally comes. A certain op gives a translation over that scene from the novel and as expected, it’s a thousand times more beautiful and sadder. Thank you op. I’m in peace right now.  

*Glancing harshly at DW* Yo, THE REST OF APOCRYPHA SERVANTS WHEN?? We have a ton of people to reunite

NEXT: Hang on kids we got a train to Orleans

[thebachelordiaries]

‘Straddling For A Rose’: The Bachelor Ep. 3 Recap

Hey, it’s me back with another last-minute Bachelor recap. This episode was about doing it doggy style in a trailer park....oh no wait, that was just the themes for the two group dates.

Here’s small anecdote for you: When I’m in the car with my dad and it’s too hot, I like to tell him to turn on the air conditioner just a tad. However, he is a man of extremes so he just blasts the A.C. until I turn into a fucking icicle. The same goes for when I tell him he’s driving too slow; he immediately starts speeding and I fear for my life.

What I’m trying to say here is that my dad is in charge of picking out dates for this season of The Bachelor. For several seasons now, we (or maybe just me) have been complaining that the show recycles the same old, boring dates.

Well guys, my dad (the show’s writers) are finally listening.

“Oh you want new group dates? We’ll give you fucking new group dates,” a producer yells manically, spit flying everywhere.

Anyway, I’m rambling more than Lauren S. on her 1-on-1 with Arie (spoiler?), so let’s get this recap started.

GLOB Group Date

The psychopath show writers (my dad) decided upon demolition derby (sorry not sorry about your concussion, Brittany) and now, they chose WWE wrestling, or the lesser known GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling), However, in this case, it’s GLOB (Gorgeous Ladies of the Bachelor). GOT PARENTHESIS?

The women on the date learned how to wrestle, or at least pretend to wrestle, like the pros, while these washed up women wrestlers with faces that look like melted candle wax talked shit to them, making my girls Bibiana and Tia cry.

This old hag asked Bibiana if her mom knew how to spell when she gave her that name. I would’ve snatched her wig SO QUICK.

“Bitch, you don’t even know my mom.” -Bibiana

Then another old lady pulled Tia’s hair, who probably had in her extensions, and homegirl was not having it. I would’ve been done too.

Bibiana and Tia get it together after a good cry and end up battling each other as Bridezilla and a Southern Belle. Bibiana’s costume was actually hysterical.

“I’m the Bridezilla and I’m about to eat these bitches for lunch.”

Lauren B. had a hard time getting the acting part down and kept laughing. Lauren, how are you going to convince me to buy overpriced skincare or a cheap curling wand on your Instagram story if you can’t even get your fake acting down? Do better.

I just want to talk about Maquel as a lunch lady. Poor Maquel deserved a rose just for having to wear this outfit. That mole was actually disgusting.

The fights went like this: Bekah the Sex Kitten vs Maquel the Lunch lady. Jacqueline the Beauty Queen vs Krystal the Cougar. Maquel the Gold Digger vs Lauren B. the Princess [this match was slightly pornographic but producers definitely put in some added audio in there.] Bibiana the Bridezilla vs Tia the Southern Belle.

Also, we can’t forget the cameo from a Bachelor favorite, Kenny King, an actual pro wrestler. He clearly let Arie win, but damn, I love Kenny. He’s so entertaining. I’m glad he was brought back.

I mean, someone needed to show off their abs on The Bachelor, and we all knew it wasn’t going to be Arie.

The cocktail portion of the group date took place in an RV park; just another redneck place to make Tia feel at home.

Arie told Krystal that it’s hard to have her in a room with a lot of other women and he has to “check himself.” Kind of like how I have to check the sound settings on my television to make sure Krystal’s voice isn’t actually that annoying. But alas, it is.

Krystal sucks so much. She thinks her time is more valuable than everyone else’s and that its okay if she takes that time away from other girls trying to get to know Arie to “decrease her competition.” Tia may feel at home in a trailer park, but Krystal, you’re actually white trash.

In other news, Bekah straddled Arie. I’ve also decided that his hand grabbing of the face move is weird.

I’m really happy I procrastinated this recap because Saturday Night Live did a Bachelor skit called “Car Hunk,” which referenced Bekah’s short hair.

Fake Bekah: I have short hair. Isn’t it the weirdest thing you’ve seen in your life?

Fake Arie: Yeah, but somehow I still like you.

Fake Bekah: That’s because I’m barely 21.

Fake Arie: Oh yeah, that’s what makes me horny.

Gross, but true.

TFW you think you have the strongest relationship with The Bachelor but the girl on your left (our right) just dry humped your man in a trailer, unbeknownst to you.

Arie gave the rose to Bekah because...”you were outstanding today and tonight you were amazing.” I swear to god those were his words. Juan Pablo was more articulate.

1-On-1 With Lauren S.

When Lauren S. is chosen for the 1-on-1, I’m convinced she is Arie’s favorite. I’m basing this on the fact that both Lauren Bushnell and Vanessa Grimaldi got 1-on-1s on the third episode.

Lauren S. is pretty, funny and I feel like she’s a bit too normal for the show. I really like her, even if her face permanently looks like this:

Lauren and Arie take a private Jet to Napa where they go wine tasting. They show a lot of their casual conversations, which I take as a good sign, even if they are about basic things like going to bed early and drinking wine; Arie isn’t the best conversationalist anyway.

But Lauren just keeps on talking, and talking and talking...and talking. Arie is so done with her that he starts eating the prop food.

Why nobody eats on dates: the contestants eat separately before the date so when they are televised, nobody is making gross chewing noises for the cameras and mics. The food is supposed to be untouched and probably has been sitting there for hours. However, Arie’s clearly bored AF with Lauren S., leading to this low-key hilarious segment.

Arie initially said Lauren is what he’s looking for in a future wife: beautiful, mature and with a great job.

At the end of the day, Arie ~thinks~ that’s what he wants, but in reality he wants 22-year-old manic pixie dream girl who straddles him in a trailer park instead.

Arie sends Lauren home and nobody knows where she is going; Will she just fly back home and meet her luggage at the airport? Nobody knows.

When the producer picks up Lauren’s suitcase from the mansion, everyone is shocked. Caroline starts crying and then Krystal starting giving this annoying speech.

“Get off your high horse and stop being so condescending to everybody because you met his dog,” says Caroline, regarding Krystal.

Caroline just seems incredibly likable so if she doesn’t like you, you’re probably on America’s shit list. 

Dog Training Group Date

I’m not going to call this date “Doggy Style” like the perverted show writers. Instead, I’m going to say the girls had to train already trained show dogs and put on a performance. Everybody failed miserably, except Brittany, who deserves not one, but two Emmys for her amazing performances as a tree and lamp.

I swear Chelsea can see dog shit on the ground and somehow relate it to being a mom and how “serious” she is about being here. And that’s just what she did during her alone time with Arie. By the way, I still don’t like her face.

Annaliese is the only form of entertainment for the second half of this episode. Once again, she had another “traumatic” childhood experience that directly related to this group date. I’m not going to mock her for that, because almost losing your eye from a dog bite is a totally valid trauma. However, her neurotic personality is fun to watch. 

Annaliese started felling a lot of pressure to kiss Arie since all of the other women did it already. Unfortunately for her, she’s 32 and too old for this 36-year-old grey-haired man. 

His body language says, “I’m just not that into you.”

I literally don’t remember who got the group date rose. I think it was Chelsea. Because she’s a mom and deserves it more than anyone else, or some shit like that.

Rose Ceremony

Annaliese’s freakout over not kissing Arie carries over into the rose ceremony.

She asked Arie if he wants to kiss her and he says, “I don’t think we’re there yet.”

At this point, we all know Annaliese is probably going to go home, and she does too. She basically tells Arie to send her home and was pretty mature about it. I hope she has a good talk with her therapist and turns this new “traumatic” experience into a positive.

Bekah wasn’t the only woman to straddle Arie this episode, Jenna did too. Jenna reminds me of my roommate from college. They’re both unpredictable and insane but like, in an endearing way.

Since two women already went home before the rose ceremony, only one woman didn’t get a rose. That was unfortunately my girl Bibiana. 

Were Arie and Bibiana a match? No. Could Arie ever handle a woman like Bibiana? No. Did I think she should’ve stayed around longer because she’s the most entertaining thing about this show? Yes.

The positive is she is going to appear on The Bachelor’s Winter Games. At least ABC knows a good thing when they see it.

I’m going to end this recap with....Arie sucks. And so does Krystal. Wait a second, maybe they are perfect for each other.

[hecknopoohsadventures]

Weekenders Adventures of Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

And now, a technological breakthrough in Pooh's Adventures history - a classic unnecessarily reworked with your favourite cartoon characters, unnecessarily reworked with your favourite cartoon characters! The infamous Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, a.k.a. Why Paramount Should’ve Kept Those Rights in the First Place, was the closest a corporation-based animation studio could get to channelling Pooh’s Adventures as it so commonly stands - deliberate exposition that dumbs the original mains down, absolutely no reason for the guests to be there other than comic relief, a villain confrontation scene where there shouldn’t have been, dialogue tampered with to bring up these newcomers, you name it.

So of course Poohphiles would enjoy it enough to slap even less time-consistent cartoon characters onto that and make them twice as useless by having them direct every pratfall the cat and mouse stumble into as usual. This might just be fan fiction, but this is still what storytelling shouldn’t be. And so, without further adieu, let’s bite into Weekenders Adventures of Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can’t believe I just pasted that either.

Part 1

0:15 His most diabolical scheme yet.

0:28 Implying this is artful enough to be transferred onto celluloid.

0:43 Tiff is about to request that the volume be increased, but all Dedede ironically shushes her. All he wants is Kirby's suffering.

1:18 Originality truly is dead.

3:00 As terrible as the original, uh, Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka is, at least Spike Brandt chose characters who knew when to shut up.

3:49 Oh my god.

4:30 OH MY GOD.

7:13 Why are they paired up with these two again?

7:28 How not to script a crossover vs. how absolutely not to script a crossover.

7:42 Charlie didn't even ask...

7:57 ...neither does he care.

8:17 If you're not as starving as they were, YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS MOVIE.

8:24 What's in your wallet?

8:34 Charlie's ignoring you.

9:08 How about offering some, you greedy fucks?

9:14 How about using some of your contract "more"?

9:17 It can't be that hard, right? ............Right?!

Part 2

0:59 Are every single one of them that foolish not to bring just the slightest nickel on their journey?

1:05 You can say that over and over again.

1:27 Says the girl who will just give over to temptation anyway, including booping what should not be booped.

3:01 You've got a better cartoon to attend to.

5:04 Clearly someone hasn't heard of a term called "surprise".

5:47 Bravo. Just coming out clean rather than saving yourselves jail time.

6:10 You know, at least Brerdaniel would probably treat Tom and Jerry as goofy pet sidekicks rather than have a bunch of usually-independent chatterboxes follow suit.

6:19 That's what the mouse was mentally suggesting, faithful student.

7:07 Alright! What delicious spells has Star conjured up ready for blas- Oh. Never mind.

7:31 As for the rest of you, welp, you're screwed.

8:12 Worse than tobacco?

8:57 And whoever else is surrounding the desks but doesn't matter in the slightest.

9:58 Something with more artistic merit than this.

11:46 Some kid that has lifted dicks up for generations somehow.

12:11 How..................am I barely riffing on two well-known cartoon characters' extensive presence in a movie they're not supposed to be a part of?

12:42 And how are they not noticing that creepy old man on TV? A gaping flaw in the dumbest of Pooh's Adventures implemented into a corporate, Korean-co-produced film from WB. Welcome to 2017 in cinema.

13:27 *grumbles* I know, right?

14:04 And just like Pooh's Adventures, an extra guest just had to be thrown in.

Part 3

0:18 Lor, you're in 7th grade. That, and you're mentally stable. Think about what you're saying.

0:20 Diverting gender norms, are we, Nobita?

0:31 Physically, you're not helping.

1:03 Unless Star could use her noodle arms to pick it straight out. 

2:09 Those poor Koreans.

3:03 Star's not not feeling it lately.

3:32 You don't ask that the very moment you bump into one.

4:12 It's the 90's all over again, and some millennials just happen to be in the scene as Slugworth turns Veruca's song into a goddamn reprise.

9:40 They're the only two guests dancing. Remind me what the point of this crossover is again?

11:47 And you only just noticed?

11:49 Even Twilight Sparkle herself wouldn't figure it out so accurately. She may be a god, but she's no psychic.

12:28 Or, you know, just hop onto the sidewalks.

13:00 And one of you could've just tucked it firmly into your pocket, you lazy fucks.

14:59 A simple "excuse me" would suffice?

Part 4

0:02 And the rest? They all sneak in somehow without being detected. 

1:25 See how boring and clueless these people now are?

1:49 I can understand Tom and Jerry squeezing through a pipe, but everyone else?!

2:44 In a shopping mall, no less.

3:30 But in clown garb!

4:23 tfw when a mouse can silently explain the situation better than you can.

5:00 Speak for yourself, all you're doing is standing there.

5:20 I'll say.

5:52 Hiding yourselves, on the other hand...

6:31 ...beyond "kinky".

7:23 Christ, at least Tom and Jerry are doing nothing to interrupt not-Gene-Wilder’s soothing melody.

8:00 How did nobody in the guest team accidentally push one of theirs into the river trying to rescue him?

9:07 Who now?

9:39 Why is Star so aggressive in this crossover? Her religion is unicorns and rainbows, you’d think she’d giggle and dance around non-stop being in the same team as Princess Twilight Sparkle.

11:35 This is wasted fetish potential.

11:51 Oh, finally you give a shit.

12:24 Wha?!?!?!?!?!?!?

13:31 ALL of you?

Part 5

0:02 She looks like she's seen this before. Hmm.

0:46 For once, censorship actually makes the source material less awkward.

1:01 Oh, please, this ain't close to worthy of a montage. You could have seen a live chicken being chopped up.

3:09 She came straight out of nowhere. EXPOSITION. LEARN IT.

5:03 Truly wasted fetish potential.

7:22 Every other guest concurs.

8:18 *slow clap*

8:31 He already had a dog by his side, no need to make every line of dialogue politically correct.

9:18 INCREASED fetish potential.

10:16 And like many Pooh's Adventures creators, the writers do not understand independent thinking.

11:06 Um, Marco............... Oh, fuck it.

11:34 HE'S IGNORING YOU.

11:57 UNBEARABLY wasted fetish potential.

12:30 What, you want to kill him?!

16:48 Good.

Part 6

0:33 And it really should've been you all.

0:48 GO DIE IN ANOTHER FIRE.

3:36 Which is more than I can say about everyone following him.

4:39 See what at least happens when you have every character in the frame? SEE HOW BORING THAT MAKES YOUR CROSSOVER IF YOU SPLICE IT WITH IMOVIE?!?!?!?!?!

5:18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUEd6gPjIsY

6:55 Sunset Shimmer fires Megan. Meme videos at their finest.

7:42 But how does even Wonka automatically recognise their names?

9:20 Well, certainly not Megan, whoever she was. Why was she in this again?

9:46 Star's response is priceless.

11:08 Of course we have crack shipping in this thing. Sunset is technically a horse.

11:53 Story of a Poohphile's YouTube career. Wonka knows what he's smirking about.

15:25 You're telling us.

15:28 SMART CHOICE!

15:30 Who has already spun fast enough in his 2016 deathbead.

Outtakes

And finally here's some outtakes, because someone thought bloopers could work in Pooh's Adventures. Prepare to cringe like you've never cringed before.

Unoriginality: 

Illiteracy:

Tom and Jerry’s baffling superiority:

Bonerkills:

At least it wasn’t made by Yakko:

Overall: 7.2/5

-0.44/10. This is the epitome of pointless, and a chilling reminder of the potential devolution of storytelling now that it’s possible to build stories out of emojis and Slenderman. This being simple-minded, inoffensive fan fiction by a couple of guys with needs hosted by Google Drive and linked to in one out of 27,000 wiki pages, of course it’d be insignificant to the community compared to what you can pay money for right now, but as far as innovation goes, and I say this as a film critic in progress, it’s misguided, aimless and devoid of any substance of any form. I’m just saying, with plenty of much-deserved scholarship, maybe you could be writing far more intricate prose than "Tom, Imagine when a chocolate mouse appears." I know Time Warner didn’t get some when they commissioned Gene Grillo to write Tom and Jerry into Roald Dahl. If someone else is planning to put a few (or a thousand) more cameos into Tom and Jerry’s gonzo Wonka trek for fun and not for profit, you bet I’ll be ready-ish.