whiplash - e.m.
eddie munson x fem reader
warnings: teeny tiny violence, reader has a panic attack, eddie is the sweetest, eddie and reader are in college
a/n: this is absolutely inspired by my first experience being shoved into a mosh pit at an avenged sevenfold concert when i was a wee teen. i hope you enjoy xx.
also shout out to my love @xxbimbobunnyxx for helping me with the title and some of the dialogue, and my bby @undead-supernova for beta reading for me. ILY BOTH SO MUCH đ
hot, sweaty bodies were pressed against you at all angles, nearly suffocating you. at this point you couldnât even see the band playing on the stage, a sea of taller bodies now blocking your view.
when your best friend asked you to attend a metallica concert with her you didnât exactly know what to expect.
but this definitely wasnât it.
the small venue was packed, the air filled with the smell of sweat, marijuana and cigarettes. your choice of a leather jacket felt incredibly stupid as it was now tied around your waist due to the growing heat surrounding you.
your palms felt clammy as they clutched onto the hem of your friendâs shirt. the constant moving of the crowd seems to pull her farther and farther away from you. until the swirling pit of metalheads swallowed you both whole, losing sight of her head of blonde hair instantly.
your panicked shouts of her name were drowned out by the screech of an electric guitarâ your body now being shoved around to the chants of âpounding out aggression.â the song eerily fitting as you see a ringed fist connecting with another manâs jaw.
your heart is beating in your ears, that familiar feeling of panic washing over you as you continue to be shoved around like a rag doll amongst the group of men. until you somehow landed on top of someone⌠who had been knocked to the ground only moments before you.
before you have time to react a large hand quickly wraps around your forearm, yanking you up and out of the dizzying circle of death. you all but let the stranger carry you through the crowd. the male shoving past throngs of people until youâve safely reached the back of the bar.
you barely register his voice as you lean against the brick wall, chest rising and falling at an embarrassingly fast rate. your eyes squeeze shut as you attempt to get your breathing under control. those same hands that pulled you out now rest carefully on your shoulders, helping to ground you.
âhey sweetheart, you alright?â
his face finally comes into focus as you blink your eyes open, your heart now beating against your ribs for a completely different reason.
he was painstakingly gorgeous, full lips lifting up into a soft, dimpled smile. âthere she isâ hey man can i get some water?â
he slaps his hand on the bar top, the clear liquid sloshing out as a glass is slid over to him. his chunky rings clink against the side when he grips it, now holding it up to your lips.
âitâll help, trust me.â you gladly take the glass from him, gulping down the lukewarm tap water.
âthank youâŚâ you mumble, setting the now empty glass back on the bar and wiping the corners of your mouth. you mentally forceyourself to stay put, despite the bigger part of you wanting to run out of the bar from sheer embarrassment.
âare you here by yourself?â he asks and you shake your head in reply before resting it against the brick wall behind you.
the brunette seems to be studying you while you take in some slow but shaky deep breaths. letting yourself do the same as your heart begins to return to a normal rhythm.
even in the muted light you can see his dark curls were damp with perspiration, bangs sticking to his forehead. no doubt from being in the middle of that pit for quite a while. his cut off band tee showed off an extensive collection of tattoos. that soft smile morphs into a small smirk, as you realize youâve been gawking at him.
calming breaths long forgotten.
âyou can g-go back out there⌠w-wouldnât want to keep you from the show.â you fumble over your words, now finding the sticky floor and your beat up sneakers far more interesting than the gorgeous metalhead before you.
the male chuckles, casually resting his shoulder against the wall next to you. his hot breath fans over your cheek when he leans in closer, ânot a chance, sweetheart. until we find your friends, youâre stuck with me.â
you glance back up at him, surprise crossing your features. you knew most people would gladly leave you behind in the shadows, especially considering the band thatâs owning the stage. that sentiment alone makes the butterflies raging your insides flutter even faster. the chaos of the crowd is now forgotten as he grins sweetly down at you.
âiâm eddie, by the way.â
the music has seemingly gotten louder since the two of you left the crowd, now having to shout your name back in reply despite the lack of space between you. his smile only widens as you turn to face him fully, crossing your arms over your chest.
âand what is a fair maiden like yourself, doing in a place like this?â
you canât stop the giggle from leaving your lips as he gestures dramatically around the dingy bar before his dark eyes are back on you.
âoh no reason at all⌠just needed a study break.â he can tell from the ride the lightning t-shirt adorning your frame that youâre teasing him, but he plays along anyway.
âso you stumble into a random metal concert, only to get caught in a circle of death? thatâs quite the break, sweetheart.â he nudges your foot with his own, earning another giggle from you.
âsomething like that, yeah.â
he hums in response, running a hand through his unruly curls, âduly notedâ iâll have to take study breaks like that more often.â
the two of you quickly fall into easy conversation, no longer paying attention to the concert goers surrounding you.
despite having only met him less than half an hour ago, you both seem quite comfortable with each other. any embarrassment from your small panic attack now a fleeting memory as he tosses his head back with laughter. the sound warming you from the inside, out.
âgotta say iâm a little shocked, first show and youâre already hitting the pits like a pro.â he jokes, leaning in a little closer to you. the scent of his spicy cologne washes over you, making your head spin, âpractically took that guy out by sitting on him.â
you groan in embarrassment, playfully shoving his shoulder as he laughs again.
âiâll have you know iâm quite fond of the music⌠just not theâŚâ you gesture towards the sea of bodies that are jumping, shoving and headbanging to for whom the bell tolls.
âmoshing?â he finishes for you, as you nod sheepishly.
before he has a chance to say anything else, a loud squeal fills your ears as a body slams into you at full force. nearly knocking you over in the process.
âthere you are, babes! iâve been looking for you everywhere!â
earlier you wouldâve been relieved to hear your best friendâs voice, but now you canât help but feel a twinge of disappointment. hoping your emotions arenât written across your face, but she doesnât seem to notice. sheâs a little too preoccupied with staring at the male leaning next to you.
ânow who is this?â her tone is overly playful, wiggling her eyebrows at you suggestively.
before she can embarrass you further, you elbow her in the ribs. effectively stopping anything else from leaving her mouth besides a little huff.
âeddie munson, certified mosh pit rescuer at your service ladies.â
he does a little half bow, causing both of you to break into a fit of giggles.
âwow⌠a modern day knight in shining armor huh?â she teases but seems impressed nonetheless, âwish i had a hot guy to pull me out of there, i basically had to army crawl my way out.â
even in the shitty bar lighting you can see his cheeks are tinted pink from her compliment, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
âit was nothing really, just happy to help.â he shrugs before pushing himself off the wall, sliding his hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans.
âmodest too? where did you find him?â she gushes, gently bumping her hip into yours. âand does he have a brother?â she whispers that part to you, ignoring the way you roll your eyes at her.
âwell i see youâre in good hands now, sweetheart, i hope you enjoy the rest of the show.â
as he turns to leave you feel your friend shove you forward, giving you a look that screams, âare you insane? donât let him get away!â
âeddie, wait!â you shout, gently tugging on the maleâs wrist before he gets too far. that dimple making another appearance as he turns back to you.
âmiss me already?â eddie teases, fully enjoying the flustered look that crosses your features.
âi uh, i-iâd really like to thank my knight in shining armor properly⌠maybe over coffee?â you nervously chew on your lower lip, praying that you didnât read this entire interaction wrong.
but seeing his face light up squashes any doubt, watching as he grabs a pen off the bar. holding the cap between his teeth as he takes your hand, scribbling his phone number onto your palm with a satisfied grin.
âlooking forward to it, sweetheart.â
he mumbles, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before disappearing into the rowdy crowd.
tagging some moots who seemed interested đ
@babygorewhore @hellfirenacht @thepurplelovewitch @impmunson @voyeurmunson @madelynraemunson @take-everything-you-can @corrodedcorpses @serasvictoria @munsonhoneybaby @splendiferous-bitch @eddiesxangel @taintedcigs
all dividers made by yours truly đ
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đ omg I absolutely loved the way u wrote spider barbie!!! Thanks again so much!! đâ¨
If itâs not too much of a bother, I would like to send in another request lol. đ
(unless thereâs a limit on how many requests can be sent, I completely understand đ)
I would like to request Miguel OâHaraxfem!Jessica rabbit inspired reader. Sheâs the most beautiful & generous spider woman across the multiverse, which makes sense since sheâs also the most desired among the spiders. Maybe one day sheâs hanging out w/ her friends (Miles, Gwen, Hobie, Pavitr, & Peter) at the spider society cafeteria when everyone in the group could be discussing their Valentineâs Day plans. Until they decide to ask her if she has a date or any upcoming plans (The spider gang not knowing sheâs already married to Miguel đ) When asked she just zones out and has flashbacks about all the multiple dates her and miguel went on throughout the multiverse, including the spicy times they shared together~ đ
When asked again, she lets them know tht sheâs already in an established relationship w/ Miguel; which makes the spider gangâs jaws drop bcuz even though miguel is a good looking guy they canât understand how a ray of sunshine like her ended up with someone as serious and angry like Miguel đ
The spider gang could ask: âWhat do u see in tht guy?!?!â đą
Spider-reader: âHe makes me laugh..đâ
Thanks again! đđđť
miguel o'hara stars in... 'WAIT...YOU'RE ROGER RABBIT?' (°ă°) !
a/n ~ i absolutely love jessica rabbit, girlboss, she's so hot. TYSM for this request my love!!!! there's never a limit ( ` Ď Â´ ) send as many as you want bby đ i went a little overboard but this was so fun to write!! ALSO ITS MIGUELS BIRTHDAY!!
summary; it's valentine's day at hq, and everyone can't help but wonder why you're still single.
pairing; miguel o'hara x reader
wc; 2.3k+
cw; FLUFF!! SMUT!!, secret relationship, pining, no one can believe you n miguel are together, loss of virginity, m!masturbation, pillow fuckin, fleshlights, miguel fucks an ai you, first time, established relationship, reader is very popular, day dreaming abt miguel (real), they're just in love, nawt proofread - crying over this
valentineâs day at hq was always fun - for you least.
every year since you joined the spider society it seemed like the gifts would multiply - what stared out as some cute cards and a couple boxes of chocolate eventually turned into bouquets of roses, teddies, gifts, and even declarationâs of love. it was all flattering, honestly. to know that so many people admired you was a great feeling, even if you canât reciprocate - itâs the sentiment that counts. but unfortunately you were already spoken for - by none other than your own boss, your fiancĂŠ, miguel.Â
having started with such a beloved reputation was one of the main reasons your husband-to-be actually avoided you at first. it was like you had your own personal fan club - spidersâ following you around where you go, people offering to by you lunch, begging miguel to put you on a mission with them, showering you with compliments. you were really irritating to him, another distraction he didnât have the time to deal with - not that he wanted to anyway. well, that was until he did.Â
gradually, he started to notice how your eyes would light up when youâd see something you like, how youâd wear that one perfume thats scent would linger a bit too long in the air, ages after youâve already sped off down the hallway. he warmed up to you eventually, leading to you two spending a lot more time together. little dates in the different universes, him picking up a little souvenir for you on missions and you doing the same - eventually leading to you two moving in together, and then him proposing. keeping you twoâs relationship a secret was a decision that you both had to make, considering how popular you were and that miguelâs your boss. so every valentineâs day, you both celebrate together privately in miguelâs nueva york condo - exchanging gifts and kisses, drinking till you fall asleep in each otherâs arms. this year, however, was a little different.Â
hiding a relationship isnât the easiest thing in the word, especially at a time like this - when all you want to do is pounce on your fiancĂŠ every time you see him ân kiss him till youâre both breathless. it was getting tiring. itâs the day of love and you canât do the one thing the day is about, love someone. youâd both send lingering glances at each other throughout the day, sneaky touches when no oneâs looking, maybe even a few quick make out seshâs in miguelâs office. you both knew you wouldnât make it through the rest of the day, eventually separating as you sat in the canteen with some of your spider-friends - ones miguel wasnât very keen on eating lunch with, leading to him retreating back to his office alone.Â
the table was buzzing as everyone mentioned their plans for the day - miles taking gwen to his universe on a little day out that he swears isnât a date, pav and gayatri going to her new movie, peter and mj having someone babysit mayday so they can go on a long-overdue date, and hobie - well, he doesnât believe in valentineâs, i guess. you so badly wanted to join in, silently chewing on your âspider-man 2099â themed burger. your fiancĂŠ was basically everywhere, how can you not miss him - even if heâs just a couple minutes walk from you. it was bittersweet, to say the least, to listen to your friends so passionately-Â
âhey, y/n, any plans this year? please tell me youâre finally dating someone.â the sudden voice made you jump, eyes widening as you look at the culprit, a sly smile on her face. âuhhh, n-no not really.â that was a lie. the whole table groaned their complaints, all still in disbelief that youâre still not seeing anyone. âyou serious? love, look at you - and look at them.â hobie gestures to the crowd forming behind the table, all of them holding some sort of gift for you - some moreâŚextravagant than the rest. âthereâs no way that you canât find someone, babe.â i mean, technically, he was right - you could practically get anyone you wanted. but, you already got what you want, and thatâs miguel.Â
heâs your everything. despite the turbulent start you both had, it was all worth it in the end. miguel loves like youâre his last - which you are, and his first too - in all aspects. hearing your boss was a virgin was even more shocking then him admitting his feelings for you - cause, like, how? you tried so hard not to laugh, he couldnât be serious. it turns out he was very, very, very serious. you felt so bad, running up to him and holding him tightly - reassuring him that is was ok, that there was nothing wrong with being a virgin no matter his age. you took it slow for the first few months, nothing more than heated kisses and a bit of groping but it never went further than that. to be honest, you were scared. miguel was nothing short of impatient to feel you, to finally sink his cock into you after centuries of you denying him of that. you knew, of course, how desperate he was - but it was a big deal to you. the thing was, you were a virgin too. it was too sudden to mention so you went with keeping it a secret, but damn was it getting harder to not give in. the thought of him leaving after fucking you was at the forefront of your mind, you obviously knew he wouldnât - but men are still men, right?
when he did find out, it went a hell of a lot better than you expected it to. both of you deciding to take your time learning each otherâs bodies, exploring new likes and dislikes, discovering new kinks, and overall - strengthening the love you both hold for each other. your first time was magical. it was exactly three years ago now, on valentines day, sprawled out on miguelâs plush, king sized bed.
âf-fhhuck, feels so good, baby. areâŚare you doing ok, sweetheart?â
he was so attentive, making sure you felt as comfortable as possible, constantly asking if youâre feeling alright. it couldnât have been more perfect. miguelâs large frame engulfed you as you sat in his. lap, his body pressed against the headboard. holding you close, he guided your hips slowly against his slick cock, the stretch momentarily caused a sharp pain to run through your body - miguel soothing you with sweet, wet kisses down the side of your sweaty neck. his large hands roamed your body, gripping your hips, waist, gently kneading your ass. the room felt hot, sweat mixing together as your hips move in tandem with his own - it was a prime example of love making. breathless kisses were shared, lips slotting together sloppily as you rode him eagerly - you were such a sight on top of him, a goddess sent just for him. âmig- baby, youâre so- shit, youâre so perfect.â no, you were perfect. soft skin pressing against his solid body, tits rubbing on his - slick running down his length. your moans were like a chorus of angels singing down to him, his heart almost pounding out of his chest from the love he feels for you.Â
sharing a moment like this together was a turning point in your relationship. giving each other your virginities, connecting in a way you will never experience with anyone else - you were made for each other. his hips sped up, slamming into your sore cunt as he wrapped his arms around your waist. digging his feet into the soft sheets and pulling your hot body into his, lips latching onto your jaw. you still couldnât believe he was a virgin before he met you. the way he moved, the way his tip would hit that one spot deep by your cervix, the way his thick fingers would caress your aching nipples - he had to have had some sort of experience. but the truth was, miguel had little to no sex drive. not feeling compelled at all to even rub one off, he was too busy after all - trying to keep the multiverse in tact. that all changed when he met you. suddenly, in his 30 years of living, did he have his first wet dream - and it was about you.Â
he felt like a teenager again, learning things for the first time. watching porn for the first time was something, spending hours looking for a woman who looks somewhat like you - much to the interest and concern of LYLA. this was very serious to him, knowing that he would eventually fuck you - he would spend all his free time learning how to please you properly. tutorials, articles, and just plain amateur porn were his best friends. he would practice with his pillow, even buying a fleshlight to stick between it to just make it a little bit more realistic. at one point, he felt like he completely lost it. spending months learning how to fuck you wasnât making him feel any better, he didnât feel like he really knew how to please you. so what did he do? he made a holographic version of you, of course!
programming it to be exactly like you, using your measurements from when he made your suit to get your body as accurate as possible. it wasnât really you, but it was good enough. he still had to work out the kinks but he was getting there. he ditched the porn completely, using ai you to progress instead. fucking an ai isnât as easy as you think, but it was enough to help him figure out what positions he wants you in, even what ones youâd like statistically. miguel never did end up telling you about it, keeping ai you locked away in a secret folder. he was no stranger in letting you know how obsessed he was with you, but this was just embarrassing to him - and knowing you, he would never live this down. but donât worry, LYLAâs always here to remind him time and time again.Â
miguel was never the same after he lost his virginity to you - he became insatiable. it was like a switch flipped in his brain and suddenly he was always horny for you, quickies in his office becoming daily occurrences. speaking of quickies, you could feel his cum from earlier pooling in your panties right now-Â
âyn? YN! is she- is she ok?â ohâŚyou were at lunch still. everyone at the table was staring at. you with raised brows, silently intimidating you into spilling what you were so engrossed in to the point where you missed the whole conversation. you obviously werenât about to tell them you were just thinking of their boss fucking you into next week, like come on - think about the kids, guys. âiâŚi, uh- it was nothing really. sorry about that, just zoned out for a sec.â it was something, someone as a matter of fact. you might as well tell them, whatâs the harm in it? youâre only gonna get absolutely bombarded by everyone and anyone in hq but thatâs the least of your worries. the table had seemingly moved on, chatting about their plans again before you jumped in - âactually, i do have plans.â that certainly got their attention. all eyes were on you, even the crowd still lingering behind perked up at your comment, leaning closer to hear what you had to say.Â
âme ân miguel were just gonna stay ho-âÂ
âMIGUEL?!â
gasps. thatâs all you could hear. everyones jaws were dropped, blinking their eyes at you like a bunch of frogs. âwhat? am i not allowed to spend time with my fiancĂŠ-â
âFIANCĂ?!â
itâs like every time you spoke it got worse, the table erupting in shouts of disbelief - it was getting difficult to speak over them, the constant questions being thrown at you were overwhelming to say the least. you werenât obligated to explain yourself, love is love - even if itâs between someone as lovely and sweet as you, and someone as moody and feral as miguel. you guys made it work and thatâs all that matters! someone else had something to say on the matter though, the commotion prompting miguel to emerge out of his cave and head straight to you.
âas i was saying, heâs my fiancĂŠ, we always spend valentines together. miguel is a great guy. yeah, heâs an asshole - but you just gotta get to know him.â youâre not wrong, miguel certainly seems to agree. the table went silent, staring up at his figure looming over you. âi donât appreciate you guys harassing my wife. now, if you have no further questions - we have plans tonight, that donât involve people prying into our privacy.â you spun around in your seat, looking up at him sheepishly. his eyes seemed to warm up at bit, a large hand reaching out to you - one that you immediately take. he held you close to him, interlocking your fingers tightly as he addressed the table. âandâŚour wedding is next year. youâre all only invited âcause she wanted you guys there. do not disappoint her.â with that, he turns on his heels, dragging you along with him - he didnât want to deal with them anymore, not when he had the rest of the day to spend loving you instead.Â
âbaby, yâsure youâre ok with everyone knowing aboutâŚus?â that was a stupid question. of course he was, youâre his - and heâs yours. âyouâre about to be my wife cariĂąo, todo el mundo necesita saber que estĂĄs fuera de los lĂmites - âspecially that fuckinâ fan club of yours.â he was such a big baby, pouting like that. âoh my god! youâre jealous of a bunch of kids who have a little crush on me, babe. âsides, i think itâs quite cute - i got so much chocolate this year-â
âthrow them away, iâm getting you all that and more.â
-cariĂąo, todo el mundo necesita saber que estĂĄs fuera de los lĂmites - sweetheart, everyone needs to know you're off limits
-the miguel figure on my dresser says hi!
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right where you left me | ksy & jww
(where you're in an open relationship with soonyoung, who doesn't want to come on your family christmas vacation. it's okay. you run into your ex at the resort anyway.)
pairing: soonyoung (hoshi) x f.reader, ex!wonwoo x f.reader
genre: est. relationships, exes to lovers to ??, love triangles | smut, angst??, fluff
word count: ~8.6k (yeah, idk either)
warnings: open relationship (implied, not explicitly discussed), wonwoo and soonyoung both know about each other (but never actually interact), reader goes away with family for the holidays, mentions of christmas (including christmas dinner), mentions of drinking, soonyoung is soft for reader, wonwoo just wants a second chance, one (1) holy spirit joke, reader does make a choice at the end, smut warnings under the cut
a/n: this is for the amazing and wonderful @beomcoups from your secret santa, blitzen, for @kpopsecretsanta đ summer, i already knew you were actually the best. so, it's been really fun getting to send you asks and come up with something for you. i hope you like it (and i'm so sorry it got this long). this is honestly not where i meant for this to go. ily and merry (belated) christmas! thank you to @wooahaeproductions (once again) for giving me a title and to my bby @wongyuseokie for the beautiful banner so last minute.
a/n 2: i'm for real taking a writing break now because december has been busy đ
tagging: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @horanghater
smut warnings: multiple smut scenes, lots of kissing, so many orgasms, so much cum (i'm sorry), dirty talk, spit as lube (just for handjobs), handjobs, blowjobs, implied edging, vaginal fingering, protected sex (yay!), implied/referenced phone sex, kind of dom!wonwoo, kind of switch!reader, wonwoo is bossy, oral sex (f. receiving), begging, slight hair pulling, slight nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (don't do this), fucking from behind, pulling out, cum on the back/ass, referenced marking, referenced restraints, pet names (doll, sweetheart, babydoll, baby), probably teasing somewhere, i think that's it (i swear there's plot in there too)
âAre you all packed?âÂ
Soonyoung is stretched out on your bed, watching you search through your closet. You sigh when you canât find the one sweater youâre looking for.
âAlmost,â you say.Â
âItâs on the drying rack in your spare bedroom,â he says.Â
You spin around to look at him, eyebrow raised. âWhat?â
âThat sweater you love? The one you pull out the second itâs cool enough?â Soonyoung prompts.Â
You give him a look, but donât say anything. Instead, you walk into the other room and find heâs right. The last thing you want to throw into your suitcase is actually exactly where he said. You check that itâs dry before retrieving it to fold and tuck away.Â
âHow?â you ask when you reenter the room.Â
He just shrugs. âI donât know, I guess I know you pretty well.â
That tugs at your heartstrings a little, especially this time of year. Because itâs true. Hardly anyone knows you as well as the beautiful man sprawled on your bed, scrolling through his phone. Yet, heâs also the one that seems to hurt you the most. Always exactly where you need him to be, but never quite within reach. This kind, wonderful human that surprises you with things that remind him of you, but canât (or wonât) come with you for the holidays to a beautiful, snow-covered resort. Itâs not worth bringing up againâŚ
âAre you sure you donât want to come?â you ask.
âŚbut you do anyway. Like the sucker for pain you are. Like somehow the answer is going to change from the last time you asked.
This does make him look up, at least. It���s hard to see the look he gives you. Itâs a little comforting that he does look sorry. Not quite enough to ease the ache in your heart. Thatâs neither here nor there, though.
âI just donât think itâs a good idea,â he answers.Â
âI know,â you sigh.Â
And you do know. Your relationship with Soonyoung happened out of nowhere. When you were trying desperately to heal over the worst heartbreak you could imagine and he happened to be there. Maybe thatâs why you feel this inexplicable draw to him, even now. Because he was the one to help you put the pieces back together, the one to let you know that you werenât asking for something unreasonable from your ex, that it was okay to make whatever type of life you wanted for yourself. Over time, you felt yourself getting more attached and let it happen, even knowing it was the wrong choice. Not because Soonyoung is wrong or anything short of great. Itâs just, well, heâs always been honest, sometimes painfully so, about exactly who he is and what he wants. Heâs just not sure, at least right now, that a closed relationship where he meets the parents is what he wants.Â
An open relationship hadnât been something you considered. It still wasnât a consideration when you first started sleeping with Soonyoung. It wasnât until you realized you wanted more of him that you had to have the conversation. Which is how youâre here, now. Going to see your parents and the rest of your family for a beautiful vacation alone despite being in a relationship. Despite him having met some of your family, like your cousins, and the number of dates you go on. Sometimes it really is enough. Not because youâre telling yourself it is. It just is. He comes up with the most thoughtful dates. Surprises you with little things just because. Heâs so insanely thoughtful. So, maybe itâs enough that he doesnât want to come meet your parents.
âCome here,â he requests, opening his arms for you.Â
You sigh before giving in and snuggling into him on the bed. He plants a soft kiss on the top of your head first, then your temple. You settle against his chest, timing your own breathing with the rise and fall of his chest. Thereâs something so comforting about lying like this. Something that makes it easier to be honest when youâre not looking into his incredibly soft eyes.
âI do get it, Soonie,â you repeat softly. âThis makes sense for us and I donât want that to change. I donât need my parents getting involved.â
âMaybe next year,â he says and that pulls you up short. Heâs never said that before. You canât really help it, you pull away to look into his eyes. âI like being around you and neither of us has been seeing many other people lately. So maybe itâs something we can talk about in the new year.âÂ
âI donât want it to be anything that you feelâŚâ you start and he presses a kiss to your lips.
âI donât,â he assures you. âAnd youâre still free to do whatever you want, obviously. I donât even know what it might look like. Just, I donât know, I figure maybe after the holidays we can figure out if anything changes here.âÂ
âYeah, Iâd like that,â you agree.Â
âBut for todayâŚâ he says, drifting off as his eyes roam over your body.
âYouâre exhausting,â you complain.
âYou tried on Christmas dresses in front of me! Iâve been here suffering thinking that I wonât get to slide that material off your soft skin,â he says and kisses your shoulder. âSitting here neglected as I watched you pack away skirts and those pants that make your ass look amazing.âÂ
âYouâre not neglected,â you tease as he presses a long kiss to your neck.Â
âIâm wasting away from the lack of attention,â he whines.
âHm, is that right?â you ask.Â
âIt is,â he concludes.Â
âWell, we canât have that,â you say low, running your hand down his stomach.Â
âDonât you have to leave soon?â he asks, stuttering when your hand runs over his cock through his pants. You rub him ever so gently, delighting in the way he reacts.
âI can stop if you want,â you suggest.Â
âYou know I donât want you to, butâŚâ he starts and trails off when you move your hand towards his waistband.
âIâm driving, Soon, I can be a little late. Iâll just blame traffic,â you say.
âFuck it,â he curses.Â
You drag his pants and briefs down in one motion, freeing his cock. You remember the first time you fucked him, when he was nervous that you were going to be somehow disappointed. He couldnât have been more wrong. Not only is he the perfect size, but he has a way of moving his hips while fucking you thatâs always drives you crazy.
There isnât time for you to be walking down memory lane, though. You spit into your hand so that you can start stroking him, delight in how heâs already a little hard. Maybe he wasnât lying about the torture of watching you try on clothes. After all, you did catch him adjusting on the bed a time or two. Itâs not enough for you, just stroking him and listening to all the beautiful sounds that he makes. Before he even realizes whatâs happening, youâre taking him into your mouth. Swirling your tongue around the tip and carefully massaging his balls with your free hand. You hollow your cheeks when you take as much of him into your mouth as you can. Carefully sucking while you bob your head on his cock, running a hand up and down the base as you continue to work on him.Â
âFuck, that mouth is so good,â he whines. âOh my god! Ugh, yes!âÂ
One of the things you like about Soonyoung is times like this, where he doesnât need to be in control. Where he just lets you take care of him. Lets you make him feel good. Just completely turns to putty in your hands. Heâs muttering obscenities about how much he loves your mouth, how you know just what to do, how youâre cruel for bringing him to the edge and then backing off. You may not have enough time, but you also canât really stop yourself.Â
âYouâre gonna make me come if you keep that up,â Soonyoung warns.Â
You pull up off him just for a second to fix him with a look. âKinda the point, isnât it?âÂ
âNot if it means I donât get to fuck you,â he answers and pulls off his shirt.Â
Okay, you can take the hint. You quickly strip off all your clothes and move up to lie on your side facing him. He captures your lips in a kiss and quickly puts a hand between your legs. No time to waste. He runs his fingers along your entrance, collecting the wetness there and groaning, probably at how youâre wet just from blowing him. When he slides a finger inside your cunt, you want to pull away from the kiss. Instead, you just moan into his mouth, spurring him to pump his finger into you faster. Another moan and he presses a second finger in.Â
When you first started fucking Soonyoung, you were a little embarrased about several things when it came to sex. One had been how wet you get. He had been so quick with the praise, so quick to assure you that it was a good thing, so quick to make you comfortable. Now, you barely even think about it. Everything with him is effortless, comfortable. Itâs entirely too fast when you feel like youâre already starting to come undone.Â
âGod, I love watching that pussy suck my fingers in,â he says. âSo good for me, so greedy.â
âFuck, Soon, hang on,â you pant out.
âFeeling good?â he asks.
âYeah but youâre gonna make me come,â you whine.Â
âIsnât that the point?â he parrots back.
âThought you wanted to fuck me,â you remind him.
He removes his fingers from your cunt entirely too quickly so he can roll over to reach the drawer. With surprising speed, he pulls a condom out and has it on in a matter of seconds. Youâre about to ask how he wants you when he rolls back over and hikes one of your legs up. This is a new position for the two of you, surprising with how many youâve tried. Thereâs something a little intimate, facing each other like this with your leg up over his arm. His brows furrow a little as he lines himself up.Â
âOh god,â you moan out when he presses all the way in, right off the bat. Even with the prepping, itâs more of a stretch than you were expecting so fast.
âYou okay?â he asks. Even though he wants it to be fast, heâs still so considerate.
âYes, just fucking move, please,â you whine.
âSo needy,â he says, but he still moves.Â
Itâs fast and a little desperate and the angle has him hitting you just where you want him. It doesnât feel awkward in this position, either, which crossed your mind for a second. Youâre clinging to any part of him that you can, moaning incoherently, about to come undone in a stupidly short time. But, heâs babbling too, uttering praises for how good he feels, reminding you how amazing you are. Heâs so vocal and itâs what sends you over the edge. He follows right behind you.
You lay on your back and take a few moments to catch your breath. Watch him as he gets up to dispose of the condom. Smile when he comes back and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. Heâs so pretty like this, glowing and smiley and perfectly content. So are you, apparently, as he tells you constantly.
âYou have to go because I have to shower and I donât want to have to shower again after that,â you say when you get up.
âBut, what if I want round two?â he asks, drawing you in against his body.Â
You lean your head to press a kiss to his lips and carefully pull away. âThen, youâll just have to wait til Iâm back.â
âThought you didnât mind being late,â he presses.
âA little late,â you say and laugh at the pout. âYouâre cute, Soonie, but I still have to go.â
âFine,â he sighs. âYouâll be back before New Yearâs?â
âYeah, for the party,â you confirm.Â
âIâll miss you,â he whispers into your hair. The kiss he presses to the top of your head nearly has your knees weak. Instead, you just smile as he leaves and rush off to the shower before you get in the car.Â
The resort your parents picked this year for the holidays is beautiful. Thereâs a main resort and also a bunch of smaller buildings with rooms that are more like condos. Your parents are staying in a particularly roomy one, because they love to host, so you donât feel too stuck by staying with them. Itâs also nice because the resort is attached to a ski lodge. You can actually ski straight from the rooms onto one of the trails. Itâs all beautiful and you feel incredibly at peace.Â
(You also appreciate how there are plenty of things to do for people that donât like to ski or snowboard. Not that you donât, youâre just sometimes a little worried youâll fall.)
The first night was just for relaxing after the ride up. The four hour drive ended up going a lot faster with your cousin in the passenger seat, thankful you hadnât actually left yet because her car broke down. Even though you donât live far apart, you feel like you donât see her nearly often enough. So the car ride is a nice way to catch up.Â
Now that itâs the first full day, youâre ready to explore a little bit. Your parents mentioned a little cafe in the lodge that sounds like the perfect place to get a cup of coffee. Of course, you could make it in the room, but it probably wouldnât taste as good. Bundled up, you head down to the lodge and look out for the cafe. It ends up being pretty easy to find. And itâs not the only thing.Â
Itâs like a pull that you canât explain, the way your eyes fall on someone sitting in an armchair just to the side of the cafe. His dark hair has that slightly tousled look, probably from being outside, and his glasses keep sliding down his nose. As you watch, he absently pushes them back up, eyes glued on the book in his lap. There is no world where it makes sense that heâs here and also no world where he could be anyone else. Youâre debating whether or not to approach him when he looks up. The smile he sends your way has you feeling things that you know you shouldnât.Â
Your feet carry you towards him without permission and he rises to meet you part way. âHey, what are youâŚâÂ
At the same time, he starts to say, âwow, small world.â
Itâs a little awkward (read: a lot) and neither of you really know what to say. Itâs been two years since you last saw each other, two years since you last spoke, two years since the break up that nearly tore you apart. Even though itâs been long enough that you feel better about it, itâs still awkward. He probably feels it too, the uncertainty of running into each other someplace so unexpected. The question of how to move forward.Â
âSo, um, this isâŚâ Wonwoo starts.
âAwkward? Weird? Unexpected?â you offer through a forced laugh.
âWhat are you doing here?â he asks.
âMy family is here for Christmas,â you answer. âYours too?âÂ
âYeah,â he says.Â
âRight,â you say. âWell, I was just going to getâŚâ
âCan we talk? Maybe over lunch or something?â he asks just as youâre ready to turn around.Â
Youâre rooted to the spot, unable to answer him right away. Can you? Yes, you definitely have that capability. Should you? Thatâs a bit harder to answer. Your brain is full of images of your past relationship - the good, the bad, the ugly - and your current situation. Maybe Wonwoo still does know you, at least well enough to read your face, because he speaks up again.
âNever mind, that was silly to ask,â he says.
âNo, it wasnât. Iâm sorry. Iâm just, I donât know, a little overwhelmed, I guess,â you admit.
âMe too, if it helps,â he says.Â
You look down at your watch. Itâs a little earlier than you usually eat lunch, but maybe thatâll be a good thing. âDo you wanna get something now?â
âWhat about your coffee?â Wonwoo asks.
âIâm sure the restaurant has some,â you say before you lose the courage.Â
Lunch is actually surprisingly easy. Well, after you get some of the awkwardness out of the way. But, it gives you a chance to say a lot of things you both kept to yourselves. Back when you were dating Wonwoo, it got harder until it was too much. He was always soft spoken, always afraid to burden anyone else with his problems. Even when you reminded him thatâs what partners were for, he just kept most of it to himself. Which wasnât healthy for either of you. You wanted things out in the open so you could talk about them, he kept them to himself. Something tiny could fester into something much bigger and then become a real issue. Even when it came to issues at work or with other friends, he was hesitant to mention it. By not wanting to be a burden, he ended up driving a massive wedge between you. And heâs able to share things with you, too. Like how it wasnât always easy to want to share when he felt pressured. He knows you only cared, but sometimes he wasnât ready. Sometimes he couldnât talk about it in the moment and just needed a day to process. Something he knows that he should have shared with you, as well.Â
It turns into a much longer meal than either of you expect. After talking about your relationship, you fill in the last two years. He talks about work and friends and reluctantly admits that he hasnât dated anyone seriously since you. When itâs your turn, you stumble over explaining Soonyoung, ending up opting for full transparency. If heâs surprised, he hides it well. Seems to understand that trying something a little different can be exactly what you need. When you finally check your phone to see youâre running late to meet your cousins, you say goodbye with a promise to hang out again. And an assurance that you havenât changed your number and he isnât blocked.Â
You spend most of the afternoon playing games with your cousins and sharing what youâve been up to. The cousin that rode with you, and knows Wonwoo the best, is nearly on the floor when you tell her that heâs here somehow. Especially because she also knows Soonyoung and likes him, but thinks heâs not the long term plan for you. Sheâs a little surprised, given how much you smiled about seeing Wonwoo, at how fiercely you defend Soonyoung. Itâs just, well, heâs been a lot for you in so many ways. Yes, some of it has been painful and some of it has involved learning things youâre not sure you needed to. But, itâs also been safe and protected. Itâs allowed you to grow in ways you never expected.Â
An afternoon of gaming turns into a night of dinner in the suite, more games, and drinking. Your cousin takes your phone and texts Wonwoo from it. Invites him over to the room to pick you up. Of course, she doesnât tell you any of that. But, when you answer the door and see your ex on the other side, he suggests you check your phone. You shoot your cousin a look and grab your coat. Heâs here, so you might as well go with him. When he holds out his hand for you, you take it and follow him into the night.Â
The next days pass in a kind of haze. Itâs so pretty to be at the resort, watching the way snow seems to fall more often than not, even if itâs just a light flurry for 20 minutes. Thereâs a beautiful, tucked away corner of the lodge where you can sit in rocking chairs by floor to ceiling windows. It gives you a perfect vantage point to watch the snow, or watch people coming down trails, watch anything. Youâre with Wonwoo more than your own family, a fact that nobody seems to talk about. Maybe because everyone liked Wonwoo and nobody really understood why it ended. You hadnât wanted to talk about it. And now it doesnât seem to matter. The man before you isnât the same boy that you walked away from two years ago. Youâre not the same either. Both of you get a lot of time nestled away in the cocoon of the holiday vacation to talk about that. To talk about who you are now and where you want to be. About if things would turn out differently now.
Itâs all kind of a practiced dance, though, because Wonwoo knows that Soonyoung exists. He knows that thereâs someone youâre not really ready to let go that may be waiting for you to get back to have an important conversation. (He is waiting for you, but you donât tell Wonwoo that. Because it may not be in the way you wish he was waiting for you. What you do know is that heâs been sending you a lot of messages. There are a lot of things that seem to remind him of you. So, heâs constantly on your mind.) And there are some things that havenât changed about Wonwoo, too. One of those things is that he doesnât really find the idea of sharing a partner appealing. Even though heâs one of the most secure people you know, you can also tell what he thinks about the complication of your current situation. Thereâs no judgment, only more hurdles. Itâs like he wants you to consider giving him another shot, but he doesnât really know where to start.Â
Since Christmas Eve and Christmas morning are for family, you get a much needed break from having Wonwoo around constantly. Not that you mind, itâs just that your head needs a little space. You need to figure out what exactly you want. Which isnât really any easier when youâre separated from your ex, sadly. Both he and Soonyoung are still fighting for space. Your thoughts are kind of a jumbled mess.Â
(It doesnât help that Soonyoung calls you on Christmas Eve. Or that the call turns into FaceTime and that turns into the two of you getting off. Phone sex wasnât ever really something you were into before him. You didnât really get the appeal of it. But, youâve seen the positives of it with him. Still canât really believe how easy it is for him to push you over the edge when heâs not even with you. And you kind of like knowing you do the same to him, seeing his cum paint his stomach after he finishes. He gets a little sappy after he comes, too. When youâre both cleaned up, heâs still there. Telling you that he misses you and that the city feels a little lonely without you there. Itâs not like you havenât left before, but this just feels different to him. He says it all without seeming to think much about it and youâre not really sure how to take it. Is it honest? Or is it the post orgasm haze?)Â
But, after Christmas dinner, youâre on your own to do whatever you want. And you know what you donât need to do. You know that you donât need to make this whole mess inside your head more complicated than it already is. You do really miss Soonyoung and all his energy. Thereâs something infectious about him. But, you also know that heâs been very clear on his wants and needs, even if he says you need to talk when youâre back about whatâs going on. Then, thereâs all your returning feelings for Wonwoo after all the time youâve spent with him the past several days. Soonyoung seemed to skate over you mentioning running into your ex like it didnât matter. Or that he trusts you and that the relationship is open, which is the more likely answer. All of that leads to sitting on the couch of Wonwooâs suite, sipping a glass of wine.Â
âWhatâs going on here?â you ask, interrupting the formerly comfortable silence.Â
âWeâre drinking wine on Christmas?â Wonwoo suggests.
You turn your head to look at him and find heâs a little confused. âI donât mean that. I mean,â you gesture between the two of you, âhere.âÂ
âAh,â Wonwoo says and takes a sip.Â
âYeah,â you say.
âI donât know, honestly. I know I missed you and that I feel like things are different now. I think we could have actually worked through our issues if we were these people,â Wonwoo says.
âBut?â you prompt. Because thereâs so clearly a but coming to what he said.
âYouâre in a relationship,â he finishes.Â
âAn open one,â you remind him.
âThat youâre not really sure how to define,â he presses back.
âWe arenât even sure if weâd work together again and youâre already worried about whatâs going on with Soonyoung,â you sigh.Â
âWhat do you mean?â he asks.
âWeâve got history and itâs been so nice to be around you. But, if we were to try something out again, weâre not just going to jump back into it being serious right away,â you tell him.
âNo, I wouldnât expect it to,â Wonwoo agrees.Â
âSo does it really matter if Iâm seeing someone else? Does anyone outside of us really matter while weâre figuring things out?â you ask.
This is a definite crossroads for Wonwoo. Heâs always been very logical and impossibly smart. In all the time you knew him, he was one to weigh things out and go with what made the most sense. It wasnât like him to be overly emotional about things. Except, apparently, when it came to you. So, this is a big ask. For him to just set aside personal feelings for you and consider the logic behind what youâre saying. Itâs a crossroads for you, too. Because you do know it makes sense to consider exploring whateverâs been happening between the two of you. To not have any what-ifs or questions when you go back to the city. To actually explore another genuine connection so you can better understand what you do or donât feel for Soonyoung.
Wonwoo sighs and nods. âYeah, youâre right. Focusing on this and figuring it out doesnât involve anyone else but us.â
âSo that last little line of defense stops now?â you ask, hopeful.
âLast line of defense?â he asks.Â
You gesture at the space between you. âEver since I ran into you, thereâs always space for the Holy Spirit between us.âÂ
Both of you laugh at that when Wonwooâs face cracks into a smile. It erases the last little bit of tension left between the two of you. Itâs clear that he means heâs going to give it a real shot to figure out whatâs going on without worrying about anyone else. Wonwoo shifts closer to you, rests his arm on the back of the couch behind you, and presses his thigh into yours.Â
âDo you still think thereâs space for the Holy Spirit?â he asks.Â
âNo,â you say with a light laugh.Â
âIâve missed you, doll,â he admits and presses a kiss against your temple.Â
âIâve missed you, too,â you say. You turn your body so your back is against the arm of the couch and drape your legs over his lap. Itâs a little more comfortable and it lets you look at him easier.Â
âItâs so weird to me, running into you here,â he says and you laugh.
âIâd say itâs some kind of fate, but I know you donât believe in that kinda shit,â you offer.
âI donât know that I do, but having you around has given me a break from my family,â he shares.Â
âYour family is great,â you disagree.Â
âThey are, but itâs a lot of people time,â he says with a sigh.
Which is why you suggest that you just sit back and watch a movie, something a little scary because you know thatâs what he prefers. It doesnât have to be some Christmas movie, youâve gotten enough of that with your cousins in the lead up to the holiday. So, you let him pick something and settle back, appreciating the closeness.Â
The movie is good, but youâre kind of a fidgeter. You make it through the first half easily, but in the second half, you start getting a little sick of sitting still. Just little things. Adjusting how youâre sitting. Moving your legs slightly. Reaching out for one of Wonwooâs hands. Something to trick your body into thinking itâs moving. Until itâs a little more than just a movement. Without even thinking, you pull one of your legs towards you, let your knee bend for a second, because itâs a little stiff, and slide it back. It isnât until Wonwoo sucks in a breath and clenches his jaw that you realize your foot slid right over his dick.Â
âWonwoo, Iâm sorry, I didnât - â you start, but heâs moving your legs.
âLetâs go,â he says as he stands up.
âWhat?â you ask. âGo where?âÂ
âCome on, sweetheart, Iâm not gonna play these fucking games,â he says and pulls you up off the couch.Â
Youâre really caught off guard, because it had been an accident, but your body remembers this. Heâs guiding you in front of him to one of the bedrooms and pressing you inside. As soon as youâre both through, he closes and locks the door. Then, he presses you back into it and kisses you hard. Crowds your space so you canât move an inch. You gasp when he nips at your lip. This has always been the thing about Wonwoo. Heâs so quiet and soft spoken and unassuming around everyone else. Just the smart boy who likes to read and play video games. Until he gets you behind closed doors and a switch flips.Â
âFuck, Nu, I swear it was an accident,â you groan as he kisses down your neck.
âSo, you donât wanna get fucked into the mattress? Donât want me to show you I still know exactly what you like?â he asks.
Youâre not the same person you were two years ago, though. âMaybe I like different things now.âÂ
âWeâll see about that,â he says.Â
Before you can respond, heâs kissing you again. Hard and needy and like there isnât a tomorrow. Maybe there isnât for the two of you. Itâs not like youâve managed to clear anything up.Â
Wonwoo presses his hips into you. Places his hands on either side of your head against the door behind you. Itâs so easy to fall into old patterns with him, where you give up your control. Your hands run along his back, underneath his shirt, and he shivers at the touch. It makes him thrust his hips into you again. It makes him grab your hands and pin them in one of his above your head. His lips are demanding when they return to yours, like heâs taking what you owe him.Â
Thereâs no point in begging for more. It would only make him go slower. So, you accept his tongue into your mouth when he keeps kissing you. You let your hands stay pinned above your head. You even chase his lips when he pulls away. Itâs hard to suppress the shudder when his lips brush against your ear.Â
âI want to fuck you,â he whispers. âI want to press your pretty face into the mattress and get your ass in the air. Do you want that?â
âYes,â you whimper out.Â
Wonwoo pulls away from you and starts to undress. Itâs hard to take your eyes off of him because heâs so beautiful. The broadness of his shoulder and his slender waist. The muscles that he hides behind all the layers flex as he pulls off his shirt and steps out of his pants. But, then heâs looking at you expectantly. Likely wondering why youâre fully dressed. You make quick work of getting out of your clothing before turning back to him.Â
âSit on the edge of the bed, babydoll,â he instructs. You hasten to listen to what he asks and he smiles. Not a soft smile. âOpen your legs.âÂ
You do that as well. With your hands on the bed behind you, you lean backwards. Wonwoo kneels down between your legs and runs a hand up your calf. He nips softly at your thighs, sharp enough to make you gasp but not hard enough to leave a mark. As he moves to your other thigh, he spreads your legs further. Only places a light kiss on your other thigh before his hand returns to your pussy. His fingers spread you open and he blows gently. The sensation makes you shiver. It makes you want to beg for him. Instead, you just grip the sheets tighter. Wonwoo chuckles, probably at your attempt to hold back, and licks a stripe up your center. Flattens his tongue against you and runs it slowly through your folds.Â
âOh god,â you moan. You donât need to look down to see that it makes Wonwoo smile, but you do anyway.
He continues to work you with his tongue, alternating the pace so that you never really know what to expect. His thumb rubs circles over your clit. Maybe he does still know how to get you going. Or maybe your body just remembers him. Either way, he feels so good. Youâre entirely more pent up than you feel like you should be. It would be embarrassing if it was with someone you werenât comfortable with.Â
âFuck, please, baby, I need your fingers,â you beg.Â
âYou getting close?â he asks.
âYes, fuck, please,â you cry out.
âDo you think you deserve to come?â he asks. Itâs only his thumb on your clit that keeps you going.
âPlease,â you beg and hope itâs enough.
It must work because his tongue returns to your cunt and he slides one of his perfect fingers inside as well. The second is in before you realize it and your moans are more sounds than anything intelligible. Itâs an unsurprisingly short time before you make a mess of his face and fingers. After he guides you through your orgasm, he stands up and leans over you. Pulls you in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. Itâs enough to make you a little dizzy. Entirely too soon, heâs breaking the kiss. He runs his hand over his dick and looks at you.
âSpit in your hand,â he directs and you do it without thinking. The post-orgasm haze still has hold of you.Â
You donât need him to tell you what to do next. Before he can say anything, you take over and run your hand down his shaft. Slide your thumb carefully over his tip. Wonwoo clenches his jaw like heâs trying not to let you know just how good it feels. Because you still know him too. You continue to stroke him and take his cock into your mouth. Just the tip, at first. When you look up at him under your lashes, you know that heâs going to lose the battle.Â
âFuck, babydoll, that mouth is better than I remember,â he groans out. His hands wind into your hair, but he doesnât fuck into your face. Youâre a little surprised he can hold back. Especially when you swirl your tongue around his tip. âOkay enough of this.â
Wonwoo, with surprising gentleness, pulls you off of his dick. You have just enough time to look at him triumphantly before heâs moving you back into the bed. He gets you on your hands and knees, presses your back down so that your ass is in the air and your face presses into the pillow in front of you. You arch your back deeper so that he has the best angle. The bed shifts under you and you assume that heâs lining up behind you. He presses a finger into your pussy again and you squirm for a second. When he removes it, you want to complain. But, heâs quick to line himself up and press his cock into you. The pillow muffles your moan as he presses all the way in. His hands find purchase on your hips as he sets a slow rhythm.Â
It doesnât seem like itâs enough, though. His hand finds itâs way into your hair and he pulls back, more gently than he used to. âIs this still okay?âÂ
His voice is hoarse in your ear. âFuck, Nu, yes. Be rough with me.âÂ
Itâs all the permission he needs. His hand slides up your body to take your nipple between too skilled fingers. The first twist has you screaming out for him, wanting him to continue. And he does, all while picking up the pace that he fucks into you. He keeps you pressed against his chest. The snap of his hips and the skin slapping together isnât enough to cover your stream of profanities. Wonwoo places a hand lightly over your throat, using it to anchor you to him. Your loud moan and reassurance of permission makes him squeeze a little tighter. Itâs that perfect sensory deprivation to make it all the more intense. Between that and your earlier orgasm, youâre a bit on overload. Itâs a kind of mind blankness that you havenât felt in awhile. Nothing else exists but the pursuit of pleasure. Your mind is totally empty.
Eventually, his movements start to stutter and he releases your throat. Directs you to rub your clit. You hardly need to touch yourself before you feel your second orgasm rip through you, coming all over his dick. He snaps a few more times before pulling out of you. His cum paints over your ass and your back. Wonwoo collapses next to you and you lower yourself down onto your stomach, trying not to make too much of a mess.Â
After a moment, Wonwoo presses a kiss to your shoulder. âWhat do you, babydoll, do I still know you?âÂ
âItâs like nothing ever changes,â you admit.Â
The two days after Christmas seem to pass just as quickly as the days before Christmas. Something feels like itâs shifted with you and Wonwoo, but maybe not in the way you expect. Youâre still spending a decent amount of time with him, still being pretty affectionate, but you donât end up naked in his bed again. It could just be you, though it feels like a joint decision. It feels like itâs some unspoken agreement.Â
Everything with Wonwoo has been amazing, like a little break from reality. Itâs been so nice to get to see him again, to get to talk about your relationship and everything it meant. Even though youâve both changed a lot, itâs nice to realize how well he still knows you. And he seems to accept all the ways youâve changed in stride, which surprises you a little. Change had never been his favorite thing. Thereâs also just a general sense of nostalgia to your interactions with him. Heâs safe in the way someone says that you can always go home. It feels like falling into old patterns.Â
But, thatâs not what life is supposed to be, is it? Life is about taking chances and risks and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Falling back into step with Wonwoo would be so easy. Itâs obvious that he still loves you, or maybe loves you again. Itâs so easy to picture what your life with him looks like because you remember. You remember all the plans the two of you made. It just feels kind of stagnant, though. You know the kind of love youâre getting back into. Itâs not even about not trusting him or worrying it would end up in another break-up. Things are different enough with your communication that you trust it would be different on that front.
Itâs just, if youâre being honest with yourself, you canât get Soonyoung off your mind. Even when youâve been with Wonwoo, thereâs that small voice in the back of your mind whispering Soonyoungâs name. Itâs also really hard to stop thinking about what he said before you left. Maybe it doesnât mean anything changes. Maybe it only means that you define the relationship a little more clearly and itâs still open. But, if you move forward with Wonwoo, you know what that means for Soonyoung. You know it means youâre going to be saying goodbye to the person whoâs challenged you, whoâs pushed you, whoâs forced you out of your comfort zone. Youâre just not sure you can do that.
By the time the last night comes around, you know that you need to have an actual conversation with Wonwoo before leaving. Life doesnât always give you the chance for closure, so you know to take it when it comes around.
âThis is it for us, isnât it?â Wonwoo asks.Â
âYeah, I think it is,â you say.Â
âI hope he knows what heâs got,â Wonwoo says with a sigh. âBy the time I figured it out, it was too late.âÂ
âI hope you know that everything I felt for you was so real, that itâs still real now. Itâs justâŚâ you start.
âNot enough?â he finishes and you frown. âItâs okay, Iâm not upset. I knew from the start that this was a long shot.âÂ
âWhy did you do it, then?â you ask.
âBecause I would have regretted it if I left something unsaid or undone,â he says simply.
âIâm so sorry, Wonwoo,â you say.
âIâm not. Iâm thankful we got this chance. Now, I have the closure I needed to actually move on,â he says.Â
Youâre not sure what else to do, so you just wrap your arms around him. His arms wrap around you without missing a beat and he places a kiss on the top of your head. The two of you stand like that for a few minutes, letting all the feelings wash over you. Itâs the next part thatâs going to be the scariest.
You havenât properly talked to Soonyoung since the two of you had phone sex on Christmas Eve. Which is actually on you, at least this time, because heâs been keeping up a relatively steady stream of texts. Asking how the vacation was, how it was to be around your family, even how it was to see your ex. And you havenât done anything wrong, you know you havenât, but it still feels like too much to text. It feels like the kind of thing you need to tell him when youâre back in your apartment. Thankfully, you donât even have to ask if he wants to come by. He knows your schedule, knows how long the drive is, and even assumes youâre tired. Despite that, he asks if heâs okay to come over anyway. He even insists that he just wants to see you, sex can be off the table. (Unless you want to fuck on the kitchen table, because that might be hot, he says.)
Heâs at your door in what feels like record time, puffy jacket and beanie covering most of his head and upper body. His arms wrap around you before he even gets through the door or takes off his layers. It feels like he smells your hair when he buries his face there, but you canât be sure. Itâs almost a project to get him to unlatch himself long enough to take off his outer layers and remove his shoes before joining you on the couch. Where he clings to you like the idea of personal space is foreign. Itâs more comforting than youâd like to admit. Youâre at ease, but your heart is also beating entirely too fast.
âI missed you,â he says softly.
âI missed you, too,â you say back.Â
âNo, I really missed you. My sister kept asking me the whole time I was there if I was okay,â he admits. He separates a little, but keeps hold of one of your hands.Â
Youâre not really used to this side of him, havenât seen him this soft in all the time youâve known him. âWere you not? You seemed okay in your messages.âÂ
âI -,â he starts, frowns, and then opens his mouth again. âI was okay, when we were texting. Mostly. But, I guess, Iâm just used to you being around. Iâm used to sending you something, like something that makes me think of you, and having you answer right away.âÂ
âYou were sending a lot,â you tease lightly.
âI kept wondering,â he starts and shakes his head.
âWondering what, Soon?â you ask.Â
âDo you remember before you left that I said I wanted to talk after the holidays?â he asks and you nod.Â
âOf course, I thought about it a lot,â you admit.
âYou did?â The surprise is evident on his face and youâre not sure what it means.
âYeah, there were a lot of times I couldnât really get it off my mind, honestly,â you share.Â
âI figuredâŚwell with your ex there and you spending so much time with him,â Soonyoung says.
Your stomach drops a little. âListen, about thatâŚâ
âYou donât have to tell me,â he says, trying to cut you off. Itâs your turn to grab his hands, though.
âI do, though. Which is selfish, probably, but I need to tell you for me,â you say.
âYouâre getting back together with him,â Soonyoung guesses and his whole body seems to slump. Youâre not sure what to make of him caring so much and donât really want to get your own hopes up.
âNo,â you assure him. âNo, I think that chapter of my life is over. Seeing him just brought up a lot of unfinished shit. And then with the holidays and the resort. I didâŚwell, we did have sex. Just once, on Christmas.â
Soonyoung nods, but doesnât seem relieved. âI figured you would, I did basically push you to try other things out. Are you going to see him again now that youâre back here?â
âNo,â you say again. âBut, I think I want to hear what you were going to say.âÂ
âIâm not sure now isâŚâ he starts and nearly melts at the look you give him.
âPlease,â you say so softly itâs barely audible.Â
âI shouldâve gone with you when you asked,â he says and that brings you up short. You never dared to hope for that much. âI knew it as soon as you were gone. But, I figured itâd be fine. Iâd be right where you left me when you got back. Then, you ran into your ex and you seemed happy for the chance. I thought Iâd fucked up and that youâd fall for him again. I considered just showing up. I chickened out, though. I figured if it was supposed to work out, then it would. Part of me even hoped you might fuck him and that youâd realize what it took me just a little too long to realize.â
âAnd whatâs that?â you prompt.
âThat Iâm ready to give actual commitment a try. That I donât want to think about sharing you with anyone else,â he says and his voice drops to a whisper. âThat I love you.âÂ
âWhat did you just say?â you ask.Â
He takes a deep breath and meets your eyes. âThat I love you. And Iâm sorry.âÂ
You donât even realize youâre crying until he wipes a tear from your cheek. âI love you, too, you giant idiot. Itâs always been you for me. It wasnât ever going to be my ex. Iâm not sorry, though. Everything that weâve experienced, itâs been exactly what I needed.âÂ
âYou know what this means though, right?â he asks and you shake your head. âNo more fucking anyone thatâs not me.âÂ
âWe donât have toâŚâ you start. You donât want to change him, never have. Heâs always been perfect exactly the way he is.Â
âI know, but I want to. Itâs only you. I think it always has been and you just knew it a lot before I did,â he says.
âCan you just kiss me now?â you ask through your tears.Â
When your lips meet, itâs so slow and tender. So full of affection and joy and everything left unsaid. For now, at least. If thereâs anything you know about Soonyoung, itâs that he doesnât like to keep much to himself. Itâs been so much, so overwhelming. Even though the kisses are languid, you feel the heat building between the two of you. Feel the desire getting stronger. Thatâs when he breaks the kiss. Your face must look confused or disappointed because he smiles, so full of genuine affection, and stands up. He holds a hand out to you.
âI donât want the first time after telling you that I love you to be on your couch,â he says.Â
Your smile matches his when you take his hand and interlace your fingers. He brings your hands up to his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. Doesnât let go of your hand even when youâre in your bedroom. He sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls you between his legs. It makes you lean down to kiss him, but itâs kind of nice. He finally lets go of your hand so that he can wrap his arms around you instead. When Soonyoung looks up at you, eyes full of affection, itâs just more than you can handle.Â
âPlease, Soonie,â you whisper.
âWhat?â he asks.
âDonât look at me like that,â you request.
âLike what?â he asks.
âLike Iâm the only person in the entire world,â you say.
He only smiles at first. âI had a lot of time to think when you were away. Iâm just appreciating you now.â
âIâm not going anywhere,â you assure him.
âI wouldnât let you.âÂ
Finally, he pulls you into bed and itâs the most perfect night youâve ever spent with him. And youâve had a lot of great nights. He always takes his time with you, always makes sure youâre well taken care of. Itâs different now. His lips are everywhere and his hands seem to need to find whatever part of you they can. Youâve never felt so loved and so safe, even with him. Even though he always makes it comfortable. You know that you made the right choice.
(Youâre sure when heâs got you seeing stars from his mouth between your legs. Youâre sure when heâs sucking marks into your skin where only he can see them. Youâre sure when he asks you to tie his hands to the bed. Youâre sure when he asks you to untie him so he can fuck you into the mattress. Youâre especially sure when he wraps himself around you to fall asleep. Itâs everything youâve wanted, but only because itâs him. It wouldnât be the same with anyone else.)
Morning comes and everything looks even better in the soft light of a winterâs morning. Youâre not sure youâre ever going to get Soonyoung out of your bed (or your apartment) and youâre not really sure you want to. The new year is right around the corner and you canât wait to see what it brings the both of you.
thanks for coming on this ride with me đ please reblog or let me know your thoughts if you liked it!
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