#thanks for this ask! i went insane!

[shweshisketch]

might i request.. your keykid

YESSS and while I’m at it I will debut my khml kid as well 🫣

(full spread below)

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[stealingpotatoes]

Honestly Mace would have loved Luke and Leia with his whole heart.

yes!!! honestly he's like a grandparent (in the dynamic way, not age way) bc he was harsh on anakin but you KNOW he's much more caring for the twins, like how a grandparent is strict on their kid but gives their grandkid literally whatever. and anakin's like where was this for me

[definitelynotshouting]

MMMMMMM SPACE AU IS GOING TO MAKE ME BRAINROT ABOUT THE LANGAUCW BARRIERS AAAAAAAAAAAA

thinking about the fucking ✨I n t i m a c y✨ of learning each other’s body languages and routines/habits and slowly falling in love with the more subtle parts of each other rather than through simply getting to know each other. ALSO ALSO ALSO WITH ALIENS!!!!!! I cannot fucking BEGIN to stress the importance of physical touch. Coming from someone who grew up shipping spirk, PHYSICAL TOUCH IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING. The small gestures, learning each other’s cultural and personal boundaries and adjusting to that even if it’s smth small like, avoiding touching direct skin. Showing that they care, and are considerate at the same time. Other things like trying each other’s native foods that they love, or watching the stars in complete silence together. Just UGH, language barriers are so fucking important to me bc it literally leaves them to fall in love with ALL of each other. Not just their upfront personality, or sense of humor, or manner of speaking, but EVERYTHINNGG. GOD IM GOING TO GO INSANE BC OF THIS WAYAGGGHHHHH.

ANON NO JOKE THIS IS SUCH A HUGE REASON WHY I INCORPORATED A LANGUAGE BARRIER INTO THE INITIAL IDEA OF THIS AU. You are SO right for this its about everything you said and also the expression of love to learn someone else's language even imperfectly just so you can communicate with them. Im so ill in the brain abt it like oh my GODS i love space aus that really lean into the cultural differences and cultural exchange of it all

Also anon you will LOVE that fact that glossy and i were talking the other day about the concept in your other ask-- we've determined that Scar and Jellie's species (now officially called Tsabii) has a huge thing about colours. Ive been picturing their planet to have a lot of deserts and warmer climates with only a few extreme cold ones, as well as a lot of underground cave systems, so colour is something very important and traditional to their people. We decided Tsabii actually translates roughly to "spectrum/all colours/all spirits" and is basically their own word for people as a collective. And instead of saying something like "you make me incredibly happy" you'd say something along the lines of "you have bright colours"

Scar, at some point down the line, tells Grian almost offhandedly that he's the "most colourful person [he's] ever seen." Which is like. Probably one of the most smitten and romantic things a Tsabii can ever say to someone else. A bit like saying aishiteru in Japanese. It's not something you'd ever say in public because it's practically verbal pda, incredibly intimate, and basically declaring this person the center of your world and happiness. And Scar just. Says it to him. With perfect, calculated casualness.

Of course Grian doesn't understand the connotations of that. He's out here assuming Scar just really likes the colour red. And ohhhh my gods the fun we've been having turning that concept around, its been making me insane

Anyway tldr; anon u are so right for everything and i am solemnly shaking your hand

[tortoisesshells]

Oooh! Can you tell me more about no longer sparkles off in smoke? 🌻

It's not much right now - partly because I've got a crisis about what the story is supposed to be. I started thinking about it as a post-script/series of missing scenes after Laura Murdoch Collins's (apparent, temporary) death/the end of the Phoenix arc in D.ark S.hadows, because the show ... never really assigned any emotional significance to it - the David lost his mother again, after she tried to kill him; that Roger was made a widower by it, even though that marriage was DOA; that Burke lost someone he had loved, and one of two people who could have proved that he'd been falsely convicted of manslaughter 10 years ago - setting aside the latest proof of supernatural monsters running around Collinsport. Then, too, there's Josette's ghost's disappearance from the narrative, and how that affects Vicki - who's depended on her intercession at key moments?

(whenever I talk about this show, please know I am aware of how nuts I sound.)

But now I'm not sure - is it more about Laura and her past lives? is it about Vicki's own ambivalence about what happened? Am I trying to compare and contrast Laura and Josette as women dead before their time, continually haunting the Collinses through the generations?

I suppose some of that ambivalence is coming out in the different starting paragraphs I have for it:

There was no question of finding jasmine in Collinsport, at this time of year or any other; Vicki had only, with Mrs. Stoddard’s permission, to take the flowers from the greenhouse that would best suit the grave, and hope that Josette would take them in the spirit they were given – relief, gratitude, friendship. It was only that on her way out the door she crossed paths with Burke, returning David, and on telling him she was going to Eagle Hill he offered to join her.

versus,

Laura Murdoch Collins wasn’t dead, and there wasn’t anything but her ashes to bury; Vicki had laid down her handfuls of hothouse blooms on Josette Collins’s grave as thanks to her, but there was no easy place to remember Laura – not until she and Burke had gone on to the old Stockbridge burying ground, and stood solemnly by the still-disturbed earth of one of Laura’s former graves.

"I'm sorry," she said, at long last.

WIP Title Ask Game

[lanaevyssmoved]

FRAY.... im sorry if youve thought of this b4 (i havent read candor's oc page yet sorry if im wrong.....) but isnt he a deva ?!?!? WITH GOD GALE NOW IN PLAY.... what if he was. deva serving under god of ambition!gale 👀

ok so candor is a solar. which is, going by the highest deva rank, 2 ranks above deva. devas can become solars if they achieve great things and Want to, as angels ascending to higher forms is a choice. the one before solar is planetar. the full Tier List of angels is

agathinon

light

deva

planetar

solar

i will tell you now picking what candor was took me weeks. i even had different ones on it's oc page. you read through my dms with aisling and null and it's me changing my mind every damn DAY. this also means that's retaining candor lore from when candor was a deva (monadic deva - to be exact). however there is a very key difference between all the angels and solar. solar choose who they serve, and are free to change their mind whenever they want. they are angels with free will.

so in terms of gold!gale, candor would have to deem gale worthy enough to serve. candor currently serves lathander, and has done for thousands of years, because it found lathander to be a god worthy of it. now - would candor leave lathander for gale? absolutely not. would candor without a god choose to server gale? absolutely not.

candor fucking despises gale. candor told afhiri that they should kill gale because he's a danger to them, and to everyone. to the balance of the universe, to the upper planes and everything that exists in this moment. candor has always found gale to be bad ^_^

so.. oh my god. gale is the god of ambition now? an extremely dangerous thing for a god to hold domain over? gale, there was a reason there was no god of ambition.

there's some hints in raphael's new ending (requires him to have been promised the crown, left alone and god gale to happen) which tell us that gale does exactly what i had already had candor assuming - that gale will bring ruin to the heavens.

candor would probably be a leader of an army charging onto gale's doorstep to behead him. ^_^ i love making ocs who oppose everything my favourite character stands for

if we were to consider an au where candor did serve god!gale..... it would not last long, and would end in candor trying to kill gale again.

would candor beat gale on a 1:1 fight? well - a god can only die in it's home plane. and a solar can only die on it's home plane. so already we're at a standstill. if candor invades gale's new plane of ambition, gale can be killed there, but gale also controls everything there so it would be extremely hard. but candor also can't die, but candor's form can be destroyed and candor will have to be reborn - and sometimes when solar's are reborn they do not come back as solars, but as aasimar and lose a great deal of their power - so candor would not want to lose. so fighting gale like this is foolish. so gale needs to be weakened. that would require a loss of followers, most likely all of them unfortunately - which could be doable if you find a way to cut off their ability to pray - but it would also take a lot of time for a god to become weak enough for what we want. so.. we have a new idea. god!gale tells us the crown of karsus is protected with all his power in his plane. if one were to get the crown and destroy it, gale would lose his godhood.. immediately. the karsus weave would be destroyed. yadada. so the real plan here would be to keep the lad distracted while other people go for the crown. so can candor beat gale in a 1:1? no, candor would need friends. but candor would also not die. ^_^

so unfortunately it would not happen. gale would need to manipulate and control candor to keep it, which is something i don't want god!gale to become. despite how clearly terrible god!gale is for everything...... but i do have a way we can make this work

afhiri ^_^ in my 3 years later fic afhiri and gale ascend together. they do it a completely different way without the crown. we're not getting into that rn. anyway

afhiri and gale would obviously serve together in the same way god!gale ends, separate gods with their own domains but they are very clearly still together, and gale would help you settle into becoming a god.

while candor would absolutely still be incredibly murderous over god!gale even if afhiri has ascended, it does put a spanner in the works. and actually becomes incredibly painful. so i've never thought past the ascension in my fic, it ends dead there and what happens next is anyones guess. ascending is the end of their story. but if we are thinking of the actual new epilogue, 6 months later not my 3 years later - what would candor do once this happens? i would assume the entire time gale has been a god candor has been campaigning to get people to side with it to go kill gale. but now afhiri has ascended?

see i can see candor serving afhiri. very easily in fact. afhiri would not send ripples across the heavens and bring ruin with something like Ambition, gods no. but can i see candor being essentially neutralised by afhiri to not kill gale? it was already neutralised once before the ascension, and candor is probably feeling a large amount of regret for not killing gale while he was mortal. i honestly don't know.

see raphael's ending does not change if you ascend too. it still talks like you haven't ascended. raph talks about after you have died all this shit will happen - so talking like you're a mortal who will die of old age. raph's ending doesn't take you into account! so completely ignoring it/adding a romance portion - could you stop gale from bringing ruin?

if you could stop gale from bringing ruin.. candor could be passified. if you couldn't? well. candor is leading the army to gale's doorstep and it will be one hell of a war ^_^

[youngpettyqueen]

Hi! So I feel selfish since I've already requested a fic from you, but since you posted that new prompt list, could you please do #10 from The Comforter list? I don't care who says it as long as they are saying it to Julian! ❤️

anon I love youuuu <333 never be shy about asking me for fics I will happily take 695876934 requests from you

so 10 from the comforter list is... "You're only going to make it worse by not resting." and I love that and I love it applied to Julian

I decided to spread the Miles/Keiko/Julian agenda with this one- hope that's alright! this is set sometime nebulously before Keiko's pregnancy with Kirayoshi, so sometime in s3 maybe?

anyways! please enjoy <3

It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

The station's been dealing with an outbreak of Bajoran Red Fever. It's a nasty sickness, not fatal in most cases, but it can be pretty dangerous for younger children. It's also a pain in the ass to try to kick; the main symptoms being sky-high fever, dizziness and severe weakness, nausea, and some nasty joint pain. Luckily for the non-Bajoran occupants of DS9, it's a disease that really only affects Bajorans. There have only been a handful of non-Bajorans who have ever caught the diseases.

Unluckily, Julian is one of those non-Bajorans.

"How'd he even get it?" Miles asks, still trying to wrap his head around this whole thing, "I thought non-Bajoran cases were something like one in a million- that's what he was always saying, at least."

Nurse Jabara, wearing a face mask over her mouth and nose, gives a tired shrug as she rubs her temple. "The odds were slim, but not impossible. If I had to guess, I'd say the constant, repeated exposure on top of not nearly enough rest probably did it," She pinches the bridge of her nose, grimacing like she has a headache, "Whatever the case, he has it."

Keiko looks up from where she's checking the medkit Jabara gave her. "You said he fainted, right?" She asks. Jabara nods, so she follows up, "Did he hurt himself? Do we have to worry about, I don't know, a concussion? Anything like that?"

"No," Jabara confirms, and Keiko breathes a sigh of relief, "Lucky for him, Nurse T'Strei has great reflexes, and caught him before he fell. Speaking of which, she's probably not having a great time trying to keep him in bed," She gives Miles a look that is so, so very tired, "We've had patients coming in all morning. You can imagine how he's taking being laid up."

"Say no more," Miles doesn't need to imagine- he knows Julian will be about beside himself, "We'll take him off your hands. You said those shots you gave us will protect us from the fever?" He checks.

"You're as close to immune as you can be," Jabara nods, "There's one in there for Molly, too, just in case you can't keep her away from him. Believe me, asking your family to do this wasn't my first choice, but we aren't exactly blessed with options," She sighs, "Everybody who is resistant to the fever is busy working overtime to make up for everybody who's down with it, and I can't put him with anybody who's susceptible to infection. Commander Dax tried to insist, but joined Trill can contract the fever, and it could be deadly to her and the symbiont, and-"

"Jabara," Keiko steps in, places a gentle hand on the nurse's arm to stop her rambling, "It's ok. We'll take care of him." She reassures her.

Jabara pauses. Takes a deep breath. "Thank you," She breathes, "It's been... certainly one of the longer mornings of my career. Let me take you to him before T'Strei decides to sedate him." She says.

"If she hasn't already." Miles cracks, which earns him a nudge in the ribs from Keiko.

They follow after Jabara as she leads them further into the infirmary. It's pretty busy, mostly full of Bajorans, and all of them are masked up. The only people not masked up are non-Bajorans, though Miles notices that a few of the human staff are wearing masks. Probably since their human Chief Medical Officer went and got himself infected.

Speaking of the devil, it doesn't take long to find him. They just have to follow the sound of the arguing.

"This is hardly necessary."

"You are not presently fit to deem what is necessary."

Jabara stops, and gestures for them to go ahead into a separate area. Miles and Keiko both nod to her, and continue on.

Miles has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the scene they walk into. Because, sure, he's worried about Julian. Of course he is. But it's also very funny to see Julian lying on a biobed, with T'Strei sitting beside him and effortlessly keeping him pinned down to said bed with one hand on his chest.

"I have patients," Julian is insisting, even though he looks half-dead himself, "I have to finish my morning rounds, and then I need to-"

"If you can push me off," T'Strei cuts in, sounding like she's said this a million times over, "Then you can go."

"That is so not fair." Julian pouts.

Miles decides now is the moment to clear his throat and announce his presence. Both Julian and T'Strei look over at him, though he directs his attention to Julian. "Julian," He says, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are you disobeying doctor's orders?"

"Yes." T'Strei replies flatly.

"I'm the doctor," Julian huffs, indignant, "I give the orders."

"Which you are not following," T'Strei points out. She looks at Miles, "I assume you both are here to collect him?" She asks.

Keiko steps closer. "We are," She confirms. She's got a much more gentle touch than T'Strei and Miles do, bless her, as she goes and puts a gentle hand on Julian's cheek, "Nurse Jabara called us. How are you feeling?" She asks.

It's like a magic trick- Miles watches as all the defiance drains right out of Julian's expression, melted away by the simple touch of Keiko's hand. With all his defiance goes all his energy, and all the colour in his face. God, he looks awful- pale under his skin, and his eyes too-bright with fever.

"I'm alright," Julian tells Keiko, in a raspy voice that's anything but alright, "Honestly, Keiko, you didn't need to come."

Miles and T'Strei exchange a can you believe this bullshit look.

"Liar," Keiko accuses gently. She brings her hand up to his forehead, presses the backs of her knuckles against his pale skin, "You're burning up, Julian. You're not well. You need rest." She insists.

"Which is exactly what you're gonna get," Miles puts in, stepping over to join Keiko at Julian's bedside, "You're comin' home with us. That way, we can keep an eye on you. Make sure you actually get some rest, which we all know you're not gonna be gettin' in here." He explains.

"Oh, I- I couldn't ask you to do that," Julian says, looking as pathetic as a puppy in the rain, "I could get you sick, and what about Molly? I couldn't-"

"We got our shots done," Miles interrupts, "And we have one for Molly, too. So, no arguing," He looks up at T'Strei, "We can take him from here, Lieutenant. We'll get him outta your hair."

"Human expression." Julian says quietly, as T'Strei frowns at the statement. Then she nods, and takes her hand away, stepping back to let Miles and Keiko each grab an arm and gently ease Julian up into a sitting position.

"Thank you, Chief," T'Strei bids, "Mrs. O'Brien," She nods to Keiko, "If he gives you any trouble, do not hesitate to call. I can be available for assistance very quickly." She gives Julian a pointed look as she says that last part.

"I'm sure we can handle him," Keiko says as they get Julian off the biobed and onto wobbly legs. Miles is inclined to agree with her, considering Julian's already leaning heavily into his shoulder, the act of standing up apparently a significant drain on his energy, "C'mon, Julian, let's get you home. I've got everything you need right here." She shows him the medkit.

"Computer," Miles summons, seeing no point in dragging Julian through the long walk, "Three to transport to Chief O'Brien's quarters. Energize."

Miles wraps his arm tight around Julian's waist to hold him upright through the transport. One second they're in the infirmary, the next they're in the living room. Julian sways slightly, wobbling, and Keiko puts a hand on his chest to help steady him.

"Easy does it, Julian," She murmurs, starting to guide him towards the couch, "You poor thing, what made you think you could work like this? You're barely standing." She admonishes, her voice laced with concern.

Julian doesn't answer until they get him sitting down. He doesn't so much lean back as he does fall back against the cushions, his eyes glassy and unfocused. "I had patients," He mumbles, blinking a few times- dizzy, probably, "I couldn't just leave them."

Miles takes a seat beside him. Keiko does the same thing on his other side. "You've got a perfectly competent medical staff who are more than capable of runnin' the ship while you're away," He points out, "How long have you been sick? Honestly. Cause somehow I doubt this started today." He hasn't actually seen Julian in days. Their usual holosuite date got cancelled due to the outbreak, so he hasn't been able to keep an eye on him.

Julian frowns, squinting as he thinks. "I don't know," He replies, and he sounds like he means it, "Maybe a couple days ago. It's... hard to keep track." He admits.

Keiko gently rubs her hand up and down his arm. "Julian," She says, in that soft voice of hers that could melt ice, "When was the last time you slept?" She asks.

There's the million dollar question. That's always the first thing Julian starts to go without- sleep. Like he thinks he's superhuman, and can just keep on going without it. Miles has known him to go days at a time without a wink of shuteye. He wouldn't be surprised if this is one of those times.

Julian looks at Keiko. "I don't know," He tells her, his voice very quiet, "I... I honestly don't know."

Even Miles can't keep up his usual attitude when Julian's like this. He sounds so goddamn tired and he looks even worse, with those big doe eyes of his all sad and pathetic.

"It's alright, Julian," He finds himself saying, a whole lot softer than he usually is, "Molly's got a big party all day, she won't be back till tomorrow. So you'll have plenty of time to catch up on your sleep here." He gives his hand a reassuring pat.

"You're only going to make it worse by not resting," Keiko adds, bringing her hand up to his cheek, "I know resting doesn't come easy to you, but promise me you'll at least try, ok?" She rubs her thumb affectionately over his cheekbone, "Promise me you'll let us take care of you?" She implores him.

Miles knows this game of Keiko's well. Nobody is immune to it. He's over here melting, and he's not even her target. Sure enough, Julian is cracking a smile. A small one, weak and watery, but a smile nonetheless.

"That's cheating," He accuses, his voice gone soft, "You know I can't say no when you do that."

Keiko gives him a smile of her own, a smile that could rival a sunrise. "That's exactly why I do it." She teases. Then she leans in, and gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

If Julian's face wasn't already flushed with fever, he's certainly blushing now, his cheeks going deep cherry red. "Miles." He says.

"Yeah?" Miles asks.

"I'm running away with your wife." Julian informs him, which makes Keiko snort and laugh.

"Not without me, you're not," Miles chuckles, giving Julian a playful nudge, careful to keep it light so he doesn't accidentally knock him over, "You can try that once you're all better. Until then, I'm not lettin' you outta my sight till you're better, ya hear?"

Julian looks over at him, still blushing, still smiling. "Loud and clear," He hums, "Do you have a kiss to go with that statement, or do I have to ask Keiko for another?"

Miles rolls his eyes. Keiko giggles. "At least you can still be obnoxious," He huffs. Even so, he does lean in and give Julian a quick peck on the temple, "There. Only cause you're sick." He tells him.

Julian's smile broadens into something resembling a grin. "You love me." He teases.

"Yes," Keiko leans in, gives Julian another kiss, this one landing high on his cheekbone, "We love you. And because we love you, we're going to take care of you," She gives Julian's shoulder a pat, "So you just lay back, and let us do the worrying for once, alright?"

Julian looks between them. And it's a subtle shift, but that mischievous grin softens, and turns into something much more affectionate and sincere. "I love you, too." He says to both of them, all sap and sweetness.

"Yeah, you're alright." Miles says, which gets him a laugh from Julian and an indignant swat from Keiko. What can he say, he's never been the best with all this sappy stuff.

Besides, they both know how he feels. He doesn't have to say it. He's never had to say it. They just know.

[muzzleroars]

If Gabe is Hell's favourite angel than does that mean V1 is the Terminals favourite? Like while Hell is concerned with the narrative torment, the pain, the breaking down of the very essence of god's light the Terminals are like 'this is V1 it is blue and has the highest damage output :)'

I could imagine they were betting on who would win their bouts in Gluttony and Heresy (Hell was absolutely surprised that V-'won' when millions of other machines fell to Gabe before it and that it kept winning. the Terminals were just glad to be finally validated in their betting choices)

Neither expected that the third time, love would win. and that they would come to respect each other's picks.

sjdhfsdfgb hell being the guy with a purebred dog that's won the show circuit while the terminals have a feral cat they found under their porch IS the exact correct read lmaooooooo

i definitely agree that v1's win is probably as shocking to hell as it is to gabriel, even as it awaited v1's arrival with excitement - the terminals have been following this one closely and they've been chattering on about it with increasing enthusiasm in the short time since it came to hell. they're SURE this one will at least make it past gabriel, but hell refuses to give them a free pass - either it defeats him or its progress stops here. the terminals grumble a bit, but determinedly still place their bets on their favorite; v1 will succeed, they say, v1 will best a supreme angel and lead the rest of the machines deep into hell. hell figures this confidence is mostly wishful thinking as there's terminals locked far down into its depths rotting away with no physical contact, no active role in their little game. but one thing is interesting here in that v1 has shown itself to be exemplary if not too special, while gabriel has been growing numb to his work for years under the council. v1 is fresh, it's violent and tearing its way through every enemy it meets with surprising, efficient cruelty unseen in the machines beforehand....and gabriel is a divine warrior reduced for so long to "fighting" hordes of insects, his tactics and movements now routine, uninspired. so. will v1 actually surprise it? will it wake up gabriel who's been burning out in far less spectacular fashion than hell had hoped?

and then something...strange happens.

the terminals are proven right when v1 bests gabriel in gluttony, he falls to the floor and he's unable to keep fighting, bled too much to let his wings carry him. hell is astounded and the terminals celebrate (especially the ones past gluttony, they're FINALLY a part of this!!!) but even more intriguing (to hell, at least) is the fallout this causes. what will heaven do to its brightest angel, its judge of hell, an archangel favored by all who know him? what will that angel do to himself? for the terminals, this marks v1 as near unstoppable (and, if the prime soul fights are considered canon, they know there is truly nothing that can stand in its way); it will unknowingly, uncaringly, spearhead the charge of their machine army into each layer of hell. and when it clashes again with gabriel in heresy, both they and hell fall quiet as they wait to see if the apostate can take back everything he's lost...though the terminals are merely waiting for the win, for the incredible recording this will be. their confidence is rewarded again and hell feels the shift fully this time, that something has come into it that god couldn't have created. gabriel has fallen, the prime souls are falling, demons, husks, and other machines can't stand a chance. it must do more, it must apply true, agonizing pressure to the terminals' favorite to see just how much it can take before it breaks...and the terminals welcome that challenge. they will supply v1 with increasingly terrible firepower to fight against it, and they believe it will outdo even hell's worst.

the pivot NEITHER see coming is. how gabriel actually comes back to it. hell had seen his wings burst into their colors of ecstasy and the terminals had seen v1 ignore its programming to let him live twice...but their bloodthirsty bets are put on immediate hold when their next encounter supplies. peace. communication. gabriel sheathing his swords and kneeling to show v1 his intentions. and v1 responding in kind, drawing no weapons as it curiously closes the distance between them. and it all plays out in front of them, an angel who found himself again through the machine and the machine that was finally able to have a self through the angel. it's utterly perplexing, the terminals having no idea what this could mean for v1's continued march and hell not knowing if it should delight in gabriel's complete fall into blasphemy or if now must prepare for a much, MUCH more difficult endgame than just squaring off against v1. ether way....this proves entropy in creeping too through the halls of hell, and neither computer nor divine logic can stop it

[averlym]

a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success

so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"

[kaeyachi]

I have major brain worms for the big brother Alhaitham AU thank you 💛

How much of a difference is there in Kaeya's personality as an adult (since both still have that 'unsure if they're allowed to belong' childhood trauma up until the diverging paths of dead relative day) or would the Akademiya/unknown impending abyss take the place of Diluc trauma (to a lesser degree) and still give him some of that feeling of needing to wear a mask and keep some distance for protection?

OR! Emotionally awful bonus question I just thought of: Would the Kaeya in this AU still believe he is inherently bad and incapable of being good or would he understand that doing good things(even if it's to make people like you) is still acts of being good?

Thank you for the ask! And I'm glad this AU has given you some brainworms hehe

as for your questions, i have an answer, and having Alhaitham as an older brother can be a good and bad thing

(I just realized I typed a lot and revealed some of the plot in the bonus question! Sorry for the lengthy answer, I just got really excited!)

Q1: Good influence from Alhaitham! He is so self-assured and logical that he managed to help Kaeya on his sense of belongingness (it helps that Kaeya confessed younger (13) and thus was able to think better on these matters and discuss them with Alhaitham). What's left for him to fear, however, is the helplessness or the inevitability of his past catching up someday.

What he feels, instead of a sense of unbelongingness, is a sense of justice and righteousness for the outcasts. He is basically a poster-child for it, and he gets to experience discrimination first hand as he continues to live near the center of the city. He wants to prove that people who are different could still belong and find a home. (This is in correlation to Alhaitham's opinion on being different as well)

He, of course, still keeps his secrets and wears a mask. Some of the things he learned or found out about are not for everyone to hear, and some people are better kept in the dark *wink wink*

Q2/bonus: Alhaitham's reputation and Akademiya mindset+actions affected Kaeya's, unfortunately (though you will find that Alhaitham disagrees with Kaeya's conclusion).

He isn't a knight in this AU, and his brother here isn't exactly known for kind acts, so he has even less to fall back on other than him just doing something good. He was just Alhaitham's brother, then a scholar, and later on, an actor. It's not his job to be kind this time. He just is (not that canon Kaeya isn't, but he also likes a feasible excuse for his behavior)

The thing is, most people don't just freely "help" in the Akademiya- not as much as in Mond anyway. Those who do usually have ulterior motives, and if they seemingly do not, then they must be hiding something. Rarely are those who are willing to share their time and effort when it could be spent on their own studies and research. Odds are, when people help in the Akademiya, it is for an academic exchange.

An Akademiya scholar who used to be as anti-social as his older brother, suddenly willing to help out others with no equivalent value? That's suspicious... It could only be beneficial for him to be kind, according to his doubters. Thus, he was investigated on, trailed by the general mahamatra, and slandered by his peers, giving him even more trauma and self-doubt.

He got thru it all after the investigation led to nowhere, but the damage to his reputation and mental health had been done.

Every natural kind act, Kaeya would then think how it would affect him. Him thinking about how it affects him would then, in turn, make him feel guilty because what others may think should never have been any of his concern. He doesn't stop being kind, but he also doesn't stop doubting his kind actions too.

All-in-all, self-esteem issues Kaeya is thriving!

Again, Alhaitham does disagree with the conclusion Kaeya came up with, but he, of course, can not simply fix trauma with just his logic. He knows his brother has a natural kindness to him, a rarity in the Akademiya that they trampled on. Alhaitham was not happy after he found out and does feel like he failed his brother on this matter.

[hecatesbroom]

I watched the Maude episode where she has a therapy session and I sobbed like a baby. First of all, Bea is a powerhouse and should have won an emmy every year for this episode alone forever. Secondly, it was so raw and real I almost had trouble watching and I didnt expect that. Like when she's talking about why she stopped kissing her dad goodnight as a kid? And how he didnt even notice? My chest actually hurt.

Ohhh the therapy episode!! It's so so so good. She should've won an emmy for it, I absolutely agree!! I don't think I've ever seen 20 minutes of a sitcom before where it's just one character monologuing the whole time — and I honestly don't think a lot of actors could pull it off as well as Bea did!

Yess, same here. I almost had to look away at some points (and I'll admit, it suddenly became very dusty where I was sitting 😂)

And even aside from the obvious raw emotion of that session, they still manage to keep the tone relatively light, and throw in a joke that fits the moment every so often. It's amazing!

[arunneronthird]

I always think it would have been funny if Tim managed to clone Kon and then Kon comes back to find he has a child with his BFF.

depending on how it could play out, the options are fascinating me, like kons reaction could be fun but i propose

kon comes back to tim actually managing to make a clone, and hes furious, hes been replaced instead of grieved and doesnt want anything to do with tim

kon comes back to tim who managed to make a clone that loves him back, and tim... prefers this clone who will love him the way he desperately craves, and kon just doesnt know what to do

my favorite is kon comes back to tim making clones and disposing of them as he sees fit cause they arent quite perfect and he just... realizes tim has become a monster

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

okayokayokay. for the shipping asks. it is my moral duty to ask you about feenris <3 (and also krisnix if you want to do two of them)

HELLO, KATE, MY DEAREST FAVOURITEST PERSON 💖💘💗💝💓💝♥️♥️💓💖 I will do both, thank you for indulging me <3

Feenris:

THEY! THEM! <333! Honestly, I could keep talking about them forever and ever because! There's so much to their relationship! But I've talked about them A Lot, so I'll just explain the boxes I've ticked fdhdkfh

(I said I wouldn't talk a lot, and then I did wSJSKDH it's all under the cut)

The love at first sight was for me, btw. Like, I saw Iris and decided, yep, this is the ship I get obsessed over. Her power. Anyway, most of these are self-explanatory but I think I'll explain the 'complicated' boxes.

I've said this before, but I think they're always going to be a little bit in love with each other (and know it), even though they won't reignite their relationship. (Although, if Capcom did a 180 and decided they were going to be a thing, I would jump on that so fast. Thematic and narrative inconsistencies be damned; I am a hypocrite) I think they've both entertained the idea of starting over at least once, but it's just too messy. Like, although their relationship wasn't built on lies, there was still A pretty substantial lie involved. Add that with the fact that it's inevitably mixed with Iris's complex feelings about Dahlia and the pain from BttT on both sides, and you get Maybe We Shouldn't Be Together Actually. That's why they got the 1/2 on the normal, healthy relationship because, at their core, they really are sort of soulmates!! And that's what makes this all worse!!

I think they could make it work, but only after they've both made peace with everything that happened on their own. Like they need to think things through without the other person around first, and then talk things out. Right now, though, them getting together would just feel like they're both having some kind of coinciding mid-life crisis. It just wouldn't work for me hskdhd

Only reason they didn't get the 'in specific situations' box was because I realised that it's less a situational thing and more a characterisation thing for me? The candy-floss fluff Feenie describes their original relationship to be, while cute, doesn't really do much for me. But if you take the Frankenstein version of their relationship which I've pieced together from one (1) sprite parallel and a few of their interactions in BttT, where it was something that had to be built and has a foundation of pure, deep understanding of one another, then I'm all over it. And it's the same with their post-breakup relationship for me. I don't want a rehash of what they had before; I want a complicated but real relationship that acknowledges what happened, isn't afraid to confront it and move forwards. IF they were to get back together, which I don't think they should. I'll admit that I do maybe want them to be together forever and ever and ever, but they're one of those ships that I think would fall in love with each other in any universe regardless (no matter how those end), and in this one, I think the best case scenario is for them to move on with other people while still having that extremely strong romantic-platonic bond between them. It's complicated and a bit strange, but I feel like it's a non-threatening bond. They love each other, they always will, and it's because of that love that they won't pursue anything further than a deep friendship. Idk, I just want them to be happy, and I think they deserve to be happy with each other still in their lives!!! Is that so much to ask!!! Is it, Capcom!!!! I'm wailing!!!!

Krisnix:

Ohhh, my God. Ohhhhhhh my GODDDD.... Where do I even begin with Krisnix. They're like a. Umm. 'I would take a bullet for you just as readily as I would pull the trigger' pair to me. I gave them a half on the 'is it even shipping anymore' box because I feel like canon does pretty much state that they were... idk what they were, but there was definitely something going on between them, but any acknowledgement of this from canon would damage me irreparably. They're canon, but I Don't Want to Know, I Do Not See 🙈 HSKHSKDB

Krisnix to me has, like, weird parallels to Feenris. WHICH IS REALLY ODD, BUT LIKE. It's this. Wanting. Of someone who is kind (although Kristoph was probably faking it 95% of the time) and gentle and so, so beautiful and who understands, when you're so damn lonely. It's about Phoenix having too much love in his heart and looking for it in all the wrong people (with Dahlia rather than Iris in their case), because he has friends! He's just dumb about them sometimes, which leads to him going for people like Kristoph and! The weird thing is that! I think it was real!! In a weird way!!!

I think there was some kind of maybe not quite love, but the murmurings of it at the edges of this strange psychosexual obsession they have going on, and I think neither of them wanted to acknowledge it. Because Phoenix isn't stupid. I'm sure he knew that Kristoph wasn't all that he was making himself out to be, but he ignored it because Kristoph was kind, and present, and smart and comforting and gorgeous and attentive when Phoenix was the opposite of being even presentable at times, both physically and socially. And with Kristoph I think it's like. I think he knew? Subconsciously. That Phoenix didn't completely buy his act, but there was this... assurance, in that fact. Like Phoenix was probably the closest a person ever came to seeing through his genteel, put-together facade, and Phoenix stayed. It's breathes of acceptance, even though Kristoph probably doesn't realise that that was what kept him staying with Phoenix. There's a nice little lie he can rely on to tuck away the truth that he likes Phoenix Wright in a way; that lie that he's just keeping an eye on him so Phoenix doesn't get to close to the truth. And if that lie occasionally leads to dinners, and real laughter, and conversations that brush the edges of who Kristoph is beneath the mask... if it leads to him not keeping his hands off Phoenix, then, well... it doesn't mean anything. It's all a lie, after all.

Idk idk. I think they were weird sort of friends and that line Kristoph says in jail about Phoenix's friendship never being true lives in my head rent free because like! What if he meant it?? What if it actually hurt??? Even though he didn't want it to!!!! They're just, they're so! Strange! I need to know everything about them, but I don't want to!! I just have to!!! And you know how I said Feenris will always love each other, and that's a comfort to them? I think Krisnix is the opposite. I think they'll always sort-of-not-quite-love each other and hate themselves for it. I think they never wanted this, and they're both still trying to get themselves out of it, but each struggle, each attempt at release, just has the noose going tighter and tighter until, one day, it's going to break. And, when it does, I want to be there to see what happens.

[empydoc]

love love love your new intro post!! it's gorgeous!

that is so nice of you! thank you!

it took Forty minutes.

[confused-stars]

Heck yeah man. What is your current favorite song and why?

!!! it's been the Simplest Words by The Narcissist Cookbook for years now. and i don't see anything taking its spot any time soon tbh

the melody is kind of more pop-y than a lot of his other work so that makes it really easy to sing along to, and the lyrics are just so immensely relatable. anxiety haver core

my favorite part has got to be the outro though. it's sung by a bunch of fans recorded separately and then put together and i think a lot of fans have a soft spot for it in general. these are the lyrics:

This body is built on the ruins of all the people I have ever been Wise men build their houses on rocks While the rest of us settle for skeletons

the first line is something i'm planning to get tattooed when i finally get top surgery

[rivers-for-me]

your posts make me want to cry but in a good way

in a nostalgic way that I'm reminiscing about my childhood climbing trees and playing in the dirt

the way the sun seemed so much brighter and the days infinitely longer back then

I remember laying on the floor for hours and tracing the patches of sunlight and the smell of the grass and my childhood best friend watching the scenery from the balcony and that was the last time i felt like my time is infinite and full of healing