#that means getting gta wasted by a white girl

[vancilart]

time to get white girl wasted

[danidfordangercreativestuff]

gta valentine's day gift

hello, @plain-pasta13! i was your secret valentine's day gifter for the valentine's day event hosted by @gtavfest. i decided to use the prompt that you provided regarding what michael and trevor's first valentine's day date as a couple would be like and wrote a short story about it, and i really hope you like it. enjoy, and happy valentine's day! :D

Trevor lazily woke up in his bed, his mind feeling all cloudy and groggy. He looked down and noticed the few beer bottles that were scattered around on his mattress. Had he gotten drunk last night? It wouldn’t have come as a surprise honestly. Although he’d usually find himself out in the middle of nowhere after getting blitzed the night before, so that was different. He sleepily groaned as he thoughtlessly swept the bottles off the mattress and got up, stretched with great vigor, and walked out of his room to start the day. No need to change his clothes; he’d slept in his usual white shirt, blue jeans, and boots.

Now that he was more alert and could think a bit more clearly, he suddenly realized what day it was, and just who was waiting for him to pick them up in half an hour. Not wanting to waste another second, he exited through the front door and headed directly towards his truck.

“Hey, Trevor!” Ron exclaimed from the front of the trailer. He was holding a metal detector and moving it around, trying to see if he could find anything. “How’s i-”

“Shut up, Ron! I’m in a hurry,” Trevor said as he slammed the driver’s door shut and started the ignition. Within a matter of seconds, he sped off into the distance.

Ron laughed weakly, waving at him slightly as he left. “Y-yeah, you too.”

Trevor gritted his teeth, hands firmly gripping the wheel, and kept on glancing at the time. His first stop would be the grocery store.

“What do you mean the chocolates and flowers add up to $40?!” Trevor angrily shouted at the cashier, his temper coming to a boiling point.

The cashier held their hands up anxiously, clearly intimidated by this sudden outburst. “I-I’m sorry, sir, but that’s what’s showing up on the system. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I’ll tell you what you’re gonna say. You’re gonna tell me that I can take whatever the fuck I want for free.”

She laughed nervously. “I can’t do that for you, sir.”

Feeling more than fed up with the situation, Trevor swiftly pulled out the gun he kept on him at all times and aimed it right at the cashier’s forehead.

“Give me the FUCKING stuff right now,” he angrily snarled.

Everyone in the store who saw what was happening panicked, and the cashier quickly scrambled to give him the items in a plastic bag. One of the customers shakily took out their phone to call the police.

“Now that’s more like it,” Trevor remarked, swiping the bag from the cashier before storming out through the main entrance. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time than he already had.

~

Michael sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror in his bathroom. He was wearing a cool blue Hawaiian shirt with tan shorts. He ran a comb through his hair one last time just to be safe and made sure that he looked as neat as possible. It had been about a year since he’d broken it off with Amanda, and approximately two months since he started dating Trevor. This would be their first Valentine’s Day together as a couple, and he couldn’t deny the fact that there were butterflies in his stomach. Sure, he and Trevor had hung out several times as friends before, but this was different.

Damn it, he thought to himself. I’m too old to be feelin’ nervous about this like some fuckin’ school girl.

Hearing the doorbell ring interrupted his train of thought, and he made his way down the staircase to answer the door. 

“About time you showed up,” he said as he looked Trevor up and down, taking him all in. He was holding a bouquet of flowers as well as a pink box of what he assumed were chocolates while wearing his usual dirty outfit. Typical.

“Hey, I had to lose the cops before I got here. Grocery stores are total rip offs nowadays, especially with this Valentine’s Day crap.” Now it was his turn to look Michael up and down. “I can see you’re ready to get your luau on.”

Michael slightly smiled. “We are going to Del Perro Pier, aren’t we?” He then took the flowers and chocolates from him. “Thanks by the way.” His cheeks flushed a light pink.

Trevor smiled in return. “Come on. Let’s get going.” He turned around and headed back to the truck, hopping over the car door to get back into the driver’s seat. Michael followed behind him with his presents in hand.

After they both got comfortably situated in the vehicle, Michael decided to open the box. The chocolates contained within were dark and smooth in texture. They weren’t the fancy type, but that didn’t really matter to him. He then popped one into his mouth and savored the sweet and rich taste.

“Careful not to leave any crumbs in here, alright sugar tits?” Trevor smirked as he started up the car and began to back out of the driveway. “I don’t want your fat ass to make a mess.” At this remark, Michael punched him in the arm.

“You’re the one who got me the damn things in the first place, asshole.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

And so off they went to the pier.

~

“Alright, here we are!” Trevor said loudly and excitedly as he parked the car and got out. Michael followed suit, taking the flowers with him. Before them stood the popular amusement park that everyone in Los Santos loved to visit. The large, colorful rides stood tall and proud, just waiting to be ridden.

They walked hand in hand down the boardwalk, admiring all of the sights around them. The park was bustling with people, and it was no wonder. Of course there would be other couples who also had the same idea of coming down here for Valentine’s Day to celebrate.

Trevor turned his head to look at Michael. “So,” he began, a trace of a smile on his face. “Which ride do you wanna go on first? Because I’ve got my eye on the roller coaster.”

At this, Michael’s eyes widened, and his heart began to beat more rapidly. “Oooh no, there ain’t no way in hell you’re gonna get me to ride on that thing.” He was being one hundred percent serious. “I’d rather gut myself than do that.”

Trevor rolled his eyes at how overdramatic he was acting. “Come on, don’t be such a fuckin’ pussy. We’re going.” Before Michael could protest even more, he dragged him by the hand towards the daunting attraction, and they got in line.

“You’re fuckin’ crazy, alright?” He said, starting to feel more and more panicked by the second. “I’m gettin’ outta here.” He didn’t even get two steps away before Trevor pulled him back by his forearm. He then grabbed him by the shoulders. 

“Look, Mikey,” he said, making a feeble and slightly awkward attempt to sound understanding and caring, something that didn’t come naturally to him. “You’ll be fine. I’m here. Nothing bad will happen. I promise.” Although his anxiety wasn’t fully quelled, Michael still felt at least slightly comforted by his words.

“Okay.”

When it was finally their turn to get on the ride, they both got into one of the compartments together and strapped themselves in. The anxiety and panic that was building up in Michael’s chest finally reached its peak, and he began to breathe more frantically. His grip on the bouquet of flowers and the bar in front of him tightened.

“This is such a bad idea.”

The roller coaster lurched forward, and it gradually began to climb up the rails. Michael felt as if his stomach was tying itself in knots. On the other hand, Trevor looked around and admired the view from up high. He turned to look at Michael again and noticed how distressed he looked. He reached over to grab his arm. “Hey, look at me,” he said. “You’re gonna be fine.” Michael was too focused on staring in front of him in terror to acknowledge his words.

They eventually reached the top and stayed there only for a split second before accelerating downwards at top speed, the air pushing against them like an oppressive force. “SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!” Michael screamed at the top of his lungs as the roller coaster rapidly descended and then continued to move forward on its set course. Not being able to think clearly, he panicked and accidentally let go of the flowers, sending them flying in the wind. On the other hand, Trevor was thoroughly enjoying himself, and so were most of the other people on the ride, but unfortunately Michael felt like he was on the verge of passing out. They eventually began to gradually slow down before coming to a complete stop, and everyone was allowed to get up from their seats.

“Y’alright, Mike?” Trevor asked as they left the ride and walked farther down the pier. Michael was still breathing heavily and trying to regain his composure. He did have fun in a way, but that was mostly overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling of panic.

He took one last deep breath before answering. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just feel like throwing up, that’s all.”

Trevor slapped him on the back in a rough yet caring manner. “You’ll live.” Thinking that maybe he would want a change of pace, he decided to make a suggestion. “Wanna go on the ferris wheel?”

“Sure.”

And so off they went in the direction of the ride, hand in hand. Admittedly, the slow and more peaceful pace at which the ferris wheel went was a welcome change compared to the high-speed movement of the roller coaster, at least to Michael. Trevor lazily spread his arms out and wrapped one of them around him, content as could be. “The world’s utterly and completely fucked, but you know what? The view ain’t too bad from up here.” Michael looked around and took it all in. From up here, he could see Los Santos and all of its beautiful modern buildings as well as the huge expanse of sand and water. People dressed in swim gear could be seen scattered all over the beach, enjoying the nice sunny weather that San Andreas had to offer.

“T.,” Michael turned to look at Trevor. “I know I don’t say this kind of stuff usually, but I’m glad to be here with you. Honestly.” And he was actually being honest. Things had thankfully been smoothed out between them finally, and it seemed like everything was getting better. The future looked bright for both of them.

Trevor was genuinely pleased to hear this. “Well…I’m glad too.”

That meant the world to Michael. “Sorry about the flowers by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He sincerely sounded unbothered. “Fuckin’ things were free anyway.” Michael chuckled to himself. Of course they were.

“Also sorry I didn’t get you anything,” he rubbed the back of his head, looking a bit sheepish. “But uhhh…”

“Hey look,” Trevor interrupted him and pointed down at some guy who’d just stolen someone else’s motor boat and was currently taking it for a joy ride. “Now that’s some funny shit right there.” Michael looked down and laughed at the ridiculous sight.

The day went on, and the sky slowly turned darker and darker as night crept up on the state of San Andreas. After getting off the ferris wheel, the couple decided to spend some time simply walking around the area and grabbing a quick bite to eat. To end their date, the two of them ambled onto the sandy beach towards the relaxing water. Now that it was nighttime, there weren’t as many people around as before. 

(A/N: I suggest listening to “Meard” by Brandon Musser while reading this next part.)

They both took off their shoes and left them near the coast before dipping their feet into the water and walking deeper into the ocean until the water was around their thighs. The night was nice and slightly warm, but out here near the ocean it was refreshingly cool. Before either of them said a single word, Trevor splashed Michael playfully, a mischievous grin on his face. 

“Oh yeah?” he said, smiling while splashing him in return with full force. A splash fight broke out between the two and lasted for about ten minutes, and all the while both of them felt as if they couldn’t be happier than they were at this exact moment. But eventually the playful fighting stopped, leaving the both of them absolutely soaked from head to toe.

It was now or never for Michael. He felt as if everything up until now had been leading to this moment, as if nothing else mattered except for this exact moment.

“Trevor, I need to ask you something.”

He raised an eyebrow at him.

Michael reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a box before opening it to reveal the ring that was inside.

Trevor was at a loss for words. “Michael…”

“Look,” he began, looking down at the water. “I know it sounds crazy and that we’ve only been dating for two months, but fuck, man. We’ve known each other for a long time and I love you and I know that we can make this work.” He made sure to put a lot of emphasis on that last part. He then looked back up at him and made direct eye contact. “So, will you marry me?”

Trevor was silent for a few seconds.

“Yeah,” he said. He then repeated himself, this time with more vigor in his tone of voice.  “Yeah, fuck yeah I will.”

Words couldn’t even begin to describe just how elated his positive response made Michael feel. Trevor was still trying to process what had just happened, but he was happy nonetheless. “Well, are you gonna put the thing on or what?” Michael said with a smile.

Trevor took the ring out of the box, trying to savor every single second. “If you insist, cowboy.” He slipped the silver ring on his ring finger. Even in the dark, it looked absolutely dazzling.

At that moment, Trevor grabbed Michael’s face and kissed him full force. Slightly taken aback by his forwardness but not turned off in the slightest by it, Michael reciprocated and sunk into the kiss, wrapping his arms around his waist and feeling utterly enamored by him. The gentle waves of water continued to move past their legs, adding to the overall serenity of the situation.

For once in their lives, it felt like everything was absolutely perfect.

[socomputercomputer]

@uknowbigsean

Do you know your so vien you don't get ride that bike miles

You do not get to hit that blue white tee

Your so vain you think this song about mertial beach and serkia that do not existia

Would u be so vain every one would want to tape over your GTA online sounds cuz you do not have the staminia the black Smith past pamming the dildo gun past cooking the trees of any salcery of already Scottsdale reminded maz ball Christy

@newjerseyfucker

I was like Chris Christy maz ball

And the guy on the train was like you mean Scotts

And I was like damn.....

That one

Is super bad

Scott Christy @foodtellsastory

I already explored that //3 / 6// mash

We did us some meat boards in az

I know 🥰

But like slurm girl bait

How dare he

Your maz ball is way better than any dud "claiming to be a Wikipedia Chris" who doesn't have 18 bucks for hades and Rene

Honestly for her to spend all 26 of 18 bucks on making some to awesome to handle

On public cash books might office

Carlos the *cherker" should not have wastes the rice and chive on veggie lies

[hotwings0203]

I feel like Dabi would be the type of dude who would bully you incessantly at the LOV and for the life of you you can’t figure out why. He’s always around you and making snarky comments or pulling your hair, trying to catch you messing up on missions. You’re sure he hates you, and you do well to stay out of his way, or sometimes when you feel bold you’ll offer a quip of your own. The bullying increases whenever you talk to other guys at the bar, especially when you make Tomura crack a smile, Dabi’s breathing down your neck the second your leader leaves, calling you terrible names and pushing past your boundaries.

Cw: language, nsfw, noncon, manga spoilers, some angst?

In a perfect world, Touya would not have been abandoned and rejected by his family. In a perfect world, Dabi would not exist, and Touya would be eating dinner with his family right now as he shows his little brother how to properly wield fire to its fullest extent.

But there was no such thing as a perfect world, and therefore Dabi did exist. And Dabi doesn’t care for anyone, or anything.

Or so he tells himself.

“Slut”

“Nothing but eye candy, and shitty eye candy at that”

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but it doesn’t make it any easier to ignore him

“What was that all about, huh? The fuck are you and crusty snickering about?”

Fed up with his continuous antics, you decide to mouth off a little too.

“Oh nothing, just talking about how adorable you and Hawks would make as a couple. And wipe that sneer off your face, it looks like some of your staples fell out of your mouth.”

It’s nothing too snarky, but in a second he’s shoving you in some dark room, forearm pinned against your throat as his hand is lit up with blue flames merely inches away from you, snarling in your face.

“You wanna be funny, bitch? I got jokes of my own too, why dont I show you what happens to dumb little girls who don’t know their fucking place? I think that would be real funny.”

But his hand is stopped from drawing near your wide eyes when you both hear Twice and Toga calling everyone for their next meeting.

He pushes you away from him, giving you a murderous look over his shoulder as he leaves the room, not paying mind to the way you slide down the wall in the dark.

You take extra precaution to try avoiding him for the next few days, not even making eye contact with him when you two get teamed up for tasks. He never mentions the room incident, if anything he acts as if it never happens. It’s like whiplash for you, he tries to weirdly talk to you more but all you offer him is mumbles and hums of agreement.

The conversation is never long, but it starts to be less talk of degrading you and more of begrudging questioning of what you’ve been up to. You never engage, opting to pretend like you never heard him, and strangely enough he leaves it be.

You give him a side eye one day as he joins you at the bar (much to your discontent), downing your glass just to fill another.

He says nothing as he slides into the stool right next to you, and pours a glass of whiskey for himself as well.

It’s awkwardly silent, you’re not sure if you should leave or not, but you’d be damned if you try to initiate small talk with this psycho.

But then, he speaks.

“Is Shigaraki sending you on the mission to get that UA kid?”

His gravely voice rumbles and cracks from his usual lack of use, and he clears his throat after he talks.

“No.”

“Oh.”

This is excruciating, you think to yourself as he mulls over the drink in his hand for a silent minute or two.

Toga calls you over thankfully at the exact same moment, and you breathe out an inaudible sigh of relief as you slip off the stool to join her.

“Wait-“ Dabi grabs your arm and you flinch out of instinct, expecting a slap or a burn to come from him.

He sees your reaction and shakes his head dismissively, letting you go and muttering a “Nevermind”. You don’t ponder over it as you trip over your own feet to join the eccentric blond.

A week passes, and then two. With each day you maneuver your way around him, request to be partnered up with different people in private, and busy yourself in random tasks. Every time you pass him by the bar he lifts his head from whatever he’s doing and tries to maintain eye contact with you, even going so far as to open his mouth to say or ask god-knows-what.

You try to ignore the foreign hopeful glint in his glacial eyes as you walk right past him, ducking your head as you do so.

It drives Dabi crazy.

He can’t handle any more rejection, he thought his family would be the last straw for him to ever want recognition or love validation from again. He wants to talk to you, to hear your voice as it snaps back with witty comebacks of your own that he secretly enjoys so much, even if it means he has to force it out of you with hateful words. He wants to feel your hair underneath his scarred hands, even if he has to mask the soft wanting of you in forms of yanking the strands. He wants nothing more than to see your eyes fill up with no other sight than him and think only of him, even if it means he has to corner you and scare you into submission.

But your silence is something he’s not used to.

Well, to be fair, you weren’t silent completely, but the only sentences he was hearing from you nowadays was when you were speaking to Shigaraki or the other League members.

You were the only idiot who didn’t notice the smoke curling from his nostrils and ears comically when he’d finally see you stop your stoic act just to open up to other men apart from him. Spinner, Twice, and Compress backed off almost immediately from talking to you for too long when they’d see the look on his face as he watched you surrounded by them, but Tomura would merely smirk from behind your shoulders and keep a level gaze with his subordinate, knowing fully well why he was so pissed off.

You began to notice the weird energy at the base soon after the rest of the men would keep curt conversations with you in comparison to your long talks about video games, sex, and life after you would all win the war.

So you thought it would be best to ask the most semi-normal person there that wasn’t fueled with testosterone and aggression.

“I just don’t get it, why are they all being weird? I mean, we all used to talk so much and now they just...try avoiding me. Except for Tomura of course, he’s still normal I guess. But he always has this smirk on his face when I’m with him and I can’t figure out why.”

Toga stops cleaning her blood-laced needle to give you a sly look, all fangs and glinting white.

“And Dabi?”

“What about him?”

She sits back on her haunches and cocks her head at you. “You really don’t know what’s happening here, do ya?”

“No,” you roll your eyes in exasperation. “But I’ll gladly take any theories here, since apparently I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.”

“He likes you.”

You gape at her for a moment and then burst out laughing.

“What? That’s crazy, he doesn’t like me, he hates me!” He can barely stand being in a room with me, all he does is talk shit and harass me.”

The blond curiously licks at a bead of red from the top of the weapon and you cringe when her own tongue rips from the sharp point.

“You say he can’t stand being in a room with you, so then why is it that he’s always there? He might talk shit, but he talks to you out of everyone else right? Regardless of if it’s something mean.”

You’re thoroughly flabbergasted. She had a point, but it was too much to wrap your head around. She cheerfully hums and gets up to flounce around the room, cleaning her already-tidy room up to a T.

“And that little silent treatment act you’re giving him isn’t helping either. I swear, Jin told me Dabi almost burned his mouth off that one day you, him and Spinner were talking about GTA. He totally cornered the poor guy and threatened his life if he didn’t stop talking to you.”

“You’re joking.”

“Am not. He wanted to do the same to Tomura but I figure he wants to keep his job, so he won’t. Doesnt make it any better for him when you’re all chummy with the one person Dabi can’t stand the most, though.”

No wonder your leader was so smug whenever you two were in the same room, your attention solely focused on him.

You run your hands down your face, moaning about the whole situation being fucked. It’s just your luck that you couldn’t take a clue, but to be fair, how could you? Being called worthless and a waste of space wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for flirty banter.

“Soooo what’re you gonna do now? I heard he’s gonna try talking to you for realsies like, tomorrow or something.”

“Tomorrow?” You yelp, jumping up to your feet. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can’t face him!”

“Oops,” she giggles, twirling with outstretched arms around her room and falling down onto her bed.

“Oh god, I can’t do this. I don’t even know if I like him! He’s such an ass, and even when he tries to come off as normal he’s just so..unsettling. I don’t think I’ve ever had a good conversation with him.”

Toga props her elbow up to rest her chin on her hand, frowning in thought.

“Why not just tell him how you feel?”

You snort and fold your arms. “Yeah, because the psycho arsonist is really gonna take the word no well.”

“Hmm.. I see what you mean. Oh well, whatever you choose, I’ll support you!”

And with that she skips out of the room sing songing for Twice to make a clone for her.

You were fucked.

And sure enough, the next day he approaches you, hands stuffed in his pockets and an almost bored look on his face.

“Yo newbie, I gotta talk to you for a second. Come with me”.

You look blearily up at him through eye bags and mussed hair, a direct telling of your sleepless night. Your stomach drops when you hear his words, but you nod your head and take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself of the speech you practiced till the sun rose.

No one else is bothering you both today, Shigaraki having gone to visit All For One and the rest of the League left to their own devices. It was something you weren’t so comfortable with, but you doubted a hero would come to save you.

He leads you through the short winding hallways, each step of his growing louder and heavier as the space started growing smaller. Finally, he reaches a dimly lit room and stops outside the door, gesturing for you to go in with a casual wave of his patched wrist.

“After you.”

You raise an unsure eyebrow at his uncharacteristic show of consideration, and do as he says. You’re sweating bullets, fists balled so that your nails are digging into your palms, and vision going in and out of focus as your eyes begin to adjust to your surroundings.

A loud bang pulls you out of your stupor, and you whip around at the sound.

Dabi is already staring back at you with lidded eyes, leaning his weight against the door, his arms crossing over each other.

You shift on both feet, picking at your nails nervously.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?”

He says nothing, but just observes you, his head slightly tilted as if you were some abstract art piece.

“Dabi.”

“You got a lot of nerve, y’know that?”

He pushes himself off the wall and advances slowly towards you, hands stuffed in his trench coat pockets.

You immediately back up with raised palms, sputtering indignantly at his offensive movements coming closer and closer. However you thought his ‘confession’ would go, this was most definitely not starting out like how you planned

“Excuse me? What’re you talking about-“

“I know what you’re doing. You think whoring yourself out to ol’ crusty and the rest of the guys here is gonna make everyone forget just how useless you actually are. What the fuck do you even do here? You fuck up half the missions which I have to come bail your ass out of, you constantly put us in jeopardy by being all friendly with everyone, and you can’t even keep your mouth shut when I need to let off a little steam, as I rightfully should.”

In a perfect world, Dabi would be the light of your eyes, the hero of your world. In a perfect world, Dabi would be able to hold your hand in his smooth one and tell you that he wants you so much that it impairs his rational judgement and makes him say things he doesn’t mean. He’d tell you that your presence is like a weight lifted off his chest, your presence means he doesn’t have to think or worry about the outside world, he just wants you all to himself without anyone interfering.

But this is not a perfect world, and Dabi is not a hero, but rather one of the worst villains.

So he does exactly what one does as a villain.

Instead of a loving look that he knows he’s incapable of, Dabi looks down into your horrified gaze as he traps you against the wall between his scarred arms, spewing misplaced venom at you.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to chill out. First you go ballistic on me ‘cause I talked to Tomura for no reason, then you act all weird and quiet as if you’re some decent person, and now you think you can just bring me in here and tell me how worthless I am? Go fuck yourself, seriously.”

You scoff and make your way to push him but stop when he does what he did a couple weeks ago. You hold bated breath as he casually brings an inflamed hand to scratch at his face as if he can’t feel the hellfire emitting from it, and let out a whine of distress as he lowers his head mere inches from yours, lips almost touching.

“Stop talking to the rest of the guys,” he breaths. “Stop smiling, laughing, or going near anyone who isn’t me.”

You wonder if he knows how insane he sounds. He does, but that’s nothing he doesn’t know already. If anything, it solidifies in his mind that if he is to be as bad as the world has made him out to be, then he is acting exactly fit for the role.

“Why?”

“I don’t need to give sluts like you a reason. It should come as easy, right? What’s putting out for one more person?”

Your eyes are brimming with tears now, your stoic facade showing cracks as you sniffle a little bit.

He eats it up and groans watching salty rivers cascade down your cheeks. Suddenly, he feels as though he can no longer hold back anymore, he feels as though if he thinks for one more second he’ll combust.

So, acting on instinct, he surges forward and presses his lips against yours, swallowing your cries of distress and holding your hands above your head in midst of them frantically beating on his chest.

Your lips are so, so soft compared to his and it’s making him sink deeper into this instinctual daze. He puffs against your writhing lips as he thrusts his hot tongue in your mouth.

You try to bite him but when his hands heat up against your skin you resign to your fate and wail, allowing him to pull his hips flush against yours and start humping your thighs.

He draws back and bites your lips, teeth clacking against yours as he does so. You open your terrified eyes and blanch when you see the look on his face.

Lust is clearly drawn everywhere, from his blown pupils to his heaving chest, all the way to his flushed face and wild eyes. He looks as though he’s about to eat you alive and it’s appropriate that you feel like a lamb about to be slaughtered.

“Dabi, wait, please stop-“

But he cuts your pants off again in favor of slamming his hips against yours again and grinding impossibly hard on your legs, the friction of his jeans catching on your clothed cunt and forcing a mewl out of you.

“I’m not gonna stop. I’ve had enough of you teasing. You’re mine now, and if it takes burning our dear leader alive and this whole place down for you to understand that then I’ll fucking do it.”

He thought that terrorizing you would ease the empty feeling in his heart, that continuously berating you would force him to see you as what he always said you were, just another empty headed cunt. He thought that distancing himself from you and focusing on other things would make him forget about the soft feelings he longed to share with you, feelings he thought perished in the fire he was in when he was a young boy .

Even now, there is an ache in his chest as he hears you beg for him to stop, to let you go, that you’re sorry for whatever you did.

But this is not a perfect world, and not everyone gets their way in life.

You should really learn that, because Dabi already has.

And so Dabi will act accordingly to what life has put out before him .

[hello-imasalesman]

Chapter 3 notes (behind the cut, contains spoilers for the chapter, in chronological order)

-I’ve seen people note Gord’s line about “I wonder when Derby will return the money he borrowed” as Derby being secretly poor. This is not how truly rich people work. If anything this cements the fact that Derby has fuck you money. It literally means nothing to him. He’ll forget about returning it the same way you forget to return a pen you borrowed. He both realizes the power of money but not, you know, truly realizes bc hes never been without.

-i keep referencing gta and rdr locations but i feel like i ought to include something with manhunt next chapter, if only to reference jimmy’s father…. :\ jk. (actually, it would now just be referencing one of r* other forgotten children properties, alongside the warriors and uh. Ping pong? )

- derby secretly loathes his birthday as much as he tries to hype it up every year because it’s never been about him. it’s an excuse for his parents to throw a very big party and rub elbows. he’s always just the sad little clown in the corner.

-tad’s father makes sure to take off all his rings before he hits him

-I know there’s a difference between oceans and bays but I’m going to just hand wave and say Bullworth is settled on a bay inlet of the ocean or, whatever, y’know.

-I LOVE PINKY!!! Finally get to introduce her in. I realllly debated on noticeably changing her hair but tbh that kind of sharp bob was still popular until like, 2012 or 13? And for some girls who loved the kate gosselin look took them into 15 so I’ll let it slide

-this () close to have made Tad wear a birthday boy crown or smthng

-pinky and bif have dealing w derby Harrington solidarity. it is 2022 we are not fridging our cousin wives.

-however you knoooow pinky gets white girl wasted. one may think this is a defamation of character if they did not know how much fondness i have for people getting white girl wasted, though admittedly my tolerance now is going into bar bathrooms like its a petting zoo and handing out hair ties. Also Pinky honestly strikes me as a “good” teen, she hasn’t been skimming off the top of her parents liquor cabinet like Derby has for years so she does get hit hard :’)

-being introduced to someone and hitting them back with an “I’m aware of them” just makes me laugh my ass off. It’s so Derby. He has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and I know this and I love him.

- initially i had a scene from derby’s POV where him and Bif sneak off downstairs and neck before coming back to the mean-spirited bryce joke/ pinky spill. I removed it for a number of reasons (and will probably post it along w a few other b-sides once this is all done) but the biggest being— there’d be no way to do it from his POV and not mention the ring box in his pocket. And i thought ending that little snapshot of Derby being pressed against the wall by Bif and feeling the box digging into his ass from his back pocket didn’t have the same jus as just having it fall out later during the bathroom confrontation

-also had bryce and chad’s little play wrestle initially mapped as ‘intricate rituals’

- speaking of, completely forgot until I did a re-listen of the preps lines why I always thought Bryce and Chad were a thing. Tad says “oh heard chad and Bryce wrestling the other day you know how they are” (ad libbed) and I that’s so ravened @ the screen. Thanks Tad this is why you’re my favorite prep (that I am absolutely walloping on sorry Tad)

- “oh… oh.” “Yeah, ‘oh’.”

-the Bryce scene was one of the first I wrote after this entire fic idea came to me. uuuurrghhhhlhlh. poor bryce.

-on a parting note, all of the chapters are seasonal. end of endless summer, fall, winter. the next two are prom, and spring. (with an epilogue, the last summer, planned)

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Episode 1.15: Shore Leave

AKA Rabbits and Pistols and Women, Oh My 

Our episode begins on the bridge, where Kirk is looking over a pad with a yeoman while awaiting a report from a landing party. He gets a kink in his back, so the yeoman starts giving him a backrub, but since both she and Spock are standing behind Kirk he doesn’t realize who is giving him the backrub. This results in quite possibly one of the most infamous lines in all of Star Trek.

[ID: Kirk sitting in his chair on the bridge, his back being rubbed by a brown-haired yeoman, caught in a moment of realization as he says, “Dig it in there, Mr. Sp--” and sees Spock walking past him.]

As everyone does their best to pretend that didn’t just happen, the yeoman says that Kirk needs sleep. Kirk replies that he gets enough of that from McCoy. Presumably he means that McCoy has been telling him that he needs to sleep, and not that McCoy is somehow giving him sleep, although really, anything’s possible. Spock says McCoy is right—wow, get that one on tape—Kirk and everyone onboard need rest after what they’ve been through the past three months. (Exactly what that is is left to the imagination.) Everyone except Spock, of course. He’s fine. He’s always fine. Evidently Kirk is too tired to bother putting up a fight about this, because he tells Uhura to send the landing party report to his quarters and staggers off the bridge.

We then see said landing party down on the nearby planet, which is so unbelievably lush and green that it has actual trees and grass instead of a soundstage with some foliage stuck on.

[ID: McCoy and Sulu walking down a sunlit grassy lane with trees to the right and tall plants at the edge of a pond to the left.]

McCoy and Sulu are naturally quite awed at this incredible beauty. Sulu says that it has no people and no animals, making it perfect for relaxation. No animals? Wow, that must be a really interesting ecosystem—how did a whole planet evolve with no animal life, while still resembling Earth so closely? The plants would have to have evolved unique mechanisms for reproduction without animal life to help pollinate them, not to mention the effect that no herbivorous consumption would have and—right, sorry. No animals means a good vacation! That’s the important thing. I guess.

Anyway, McCoy thinks the planet is just the place for some relaxation time for the crew, if they can get Kirk to authorize shore leave there. It does seem like a nice place to chill out after a lot of stress, but I question the Starfleet policy of letting crews take shore leave on random newly discovered planets as long as they don’t appear to have sapient native life as determined by some people wandering around on a small portion of it for a few hours. There could be plenty of threats there that they just haven’t uncovered—or, on the flipside, a whole crew full of people beaming down to loiter around could wreck havoc on an alien ecosystem. But, eh, it’s just plants, it’ll be fine.

McCoy comments that “you have to see this place to believe it—it’s like something out of Alice in Wonderland.” Bones, my man, I don’t know what copy of Alice in Wonderland you read, but I don’t remember its primary feature being nice-but-totally-normal-and-physics-obeying parkland.

Sulu stops to get some samples of the plant life, while McCoy wanders off happily, obviously enjoying the chance to just have a nice stroll through nature and chew on a stalk of grass. That is, until he spots something...unexpected.

[ID: A large humanoid white rabbit standing among the foliage, wearing a checked red and yellow shirt, yellow waistcoat, and brown and gray neckcloth, with an umbrella tucked under one arm.]

The rabbit exclaims that he’ll be late and hops (sort off) off through the undergrowth. A moment later a young girl in a blue and white dress runs up and asks McCoy if he’s seen a rabbit around. All poor Bones can do is point mutely in the direction the rabbit went, and the girl gives him a curtsy and runs after the rabbit.

McCoy stands there in abject shock for a moment before managing to bellow for Sulu, who comes running. Despite being only a few yards away, Sulu was evidently too absorbed with horticulture to notice any of what just happened, and there’s now no sign of either rabbit or girl. He asks McCoy what’s wrong, but McCoy can’t seem to find the words, and really, can you blame him?

[ID: McCoy standing by the edge of a pond, holding a grass straw tensely and staring in front of him while Sulu puts a hand on his shoulder and asks, “What is it, doc?”]

“Oh god, this is it. I knew this job was going to drive me insane and it’s FINALLY HAPPENED.”

After the break we get a captain’s log from Kirk talking about how nice this planet they found is. You can tell he’s tired and kind of out of it from the way he rambles a bit, and takes a moment to remember the entire stardate. Despite this, the yeoman currently talking to him in his room notes that he isn’t in any of the shore leave parties. Kirk waves this off and dismisses her, but this does nothing for Kirk’s solitude because she is immediately replaced by Spock.

Kirk asks Spock which shore leave party he wants to go with, but Spock says he’s not interested in going at all. On Vulcan, he says, “to rest is to rest, to cease using energy. To me, it is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass using energy instead of saving it.” Well, it would be. Your planet doesn’t have any green grass. The idea of going outside to relax probably would be pretty foreign on Vulcan, which is generally rather lacking in environments that anyone would consider relaxing.

The conversation is interrupted by Uhura paging Kirk to say there’s a call from McCoy. Kirk genially tells her to open a channel, little suspecting what this conversation is going to be about.

McCoy—remarkably calmly—says that either all their sensor probes are defective, or he is. Kirk naturally asks him to explain, leaving McCoy in the unenviable position of having to describe what he just saw. Kirk takes the whole story to be a joke, while Spock stands there rolling his eyes to the heavens. It’s understandable enough; even for people with as many weird experiences as these guys, giant talking rabbits aren’t something you expect to encounter, although I have heard that they appear here and there, now and then, to this one and that one.

Kirk figures that this is a trick of McCoy’s to get him to come down to the planet—that he doesn’t think Kirk will come down for shore leave unless he’s baited with a bit of mystery. Which doesn’t sound terribly like McCoy, I have to say. He seems less likely to make up a weird story about a rabbit as part of a cunning plan to lure Kirk into shore leave, and more likely to just physically drag him down to the planet by the ear.

Spock, evidently deciding not to get involved in these weird human things, says that actually he did have something he came here to discuss. He’s checked Dr. McCoy’s log—pre-rabbit sightings—and apparently there’s a crew member aboard who’s being a bit of a problem.

“[He’s] showing signs of stress and fatigue, reaction time down nine to twelve percent, associational reading norm minus three.”

“That’s much too low a rating.”

“He’s becoming irritable and quarrelsome, yet he refuses to take rest and rehabilitation. Now he has that right, but we’ve found--”

“A crewman’s right ends where the safety of the ship begins. Now, that man will go ashore on my orders. What’s his name?”

“James Kirk.”

[ID: 1. Spock looking at Kirk with a look of mock surprise and innocence while saying, “James Kirk.” 2. Kirk stares back at Spock. 3. Spock saying, “Enjoy yourself, Captain,” with a decidedly smug smile. 4. Kirk staring at Spock, now with a GTA-style overlay saying ‘wasted’.]

Weeeeelll, there’s not a whole lot Kirk can do about that devastating takedown except swallow the pill and go take some shore leave already. Spock tells him that they’ve detected no animals, no artifacts, no force fields (? was that a potential problem?), it’s just a nice pleasant green planet. But even as he’s saying this we see, down on said pleasant green planet, a rock by a pond slowly move aside on its own to reveal….A GUN! No, not a phaser—an actual, old-fashioned revolver. Dammit! The NRA got here before us!

Unknowing of the terrible threat looming nearby, a couple of crewmen—a goldshirt woman and a blueshirt man—are investigating some of the plant life. The blueshirt is intent on scanning some ferns, prompting a complaint from the goldshirt that he’s too focused on work, work, work, and not appreciating the natural loveliness all around them. The blueshirt responds that he’s focused on work because they’re working—they’ve got a report to make to the captain and things aren’t going to be nearly so pleasant if it’s not ready on time. Right after he says that, who should beam down but Kirk himself, along with the yeoman. Oh man, speak of the devil. Don’t you hate it when you’re talking about your boss and he immediately materializes out of thin air in front of you?

Luckily for the crewmen—Rodriguez and Teller, Kirk calls them—he’s not here to crack the whip. Told that they’ve finished the survey, he tells them to submit it to Spock and then clock out and enjoy themselves. Incidentally, Kirk calls the goldshirt Teller, but she’s played by the same actress who played Martine last episode. The character was named ‘Mary Teller’ in the script, but once they got on set someone noticed that they had—again, somehow—accidentally cast someone who had already appeared as a named character, and changed her first name to Angela to match Martine...but as you can see, it’s a bit inconsistent. And a bit jarring, if she is the same character, to see her so bright and happy and with budding romantic tension between her and Rodriguez, considering what happened to her last week. It worked out pretty well when they did this with Riley, but this time, not so much.

At any rate, Rodriguez points Kirk over to where Sulu and McCoy were. Kirk and the yeoman head over there, talking a bit about how incredibly beautiful the surroundings are. The amount that this planet gets talked up in the episode initially struck me as a bit odd; don’t get me wrong, it’s quite nice and pretty, but I don’t think I would call it jaw-droppingly, impossibly gorgeous. But then, y’know, I see trees everyday. I can see trees right now just by turning my head about ninety degrees. If I spent the majority of my life in a spaceship, seeing the same gray, florescent-lit surroundings every day, breathing in sterilized air and rarely seeing any space more open than Engineering, I’d probably be awestruck at the first bit of green I saw in months too.  

The captain and the yeoman find McCoy some way away, still standing by the pond and brooding over his sanity. Kirk is all ready to set into some teasing about rabbits and the sighting thereof, but while McCoy is still not entirely sure he didn’t hallucinate the whole thing, he’s got at least one thing a bit less easy to dismiss: large footprints in the dirt nearby.

[ID: Kirk kneeling in a dirt track, examining two sets of four-toed footprints.]

Those don’t look a great deal like rabbit tracks, but then, that didn’t look a great deal like an actual rabbit either. Kirk is, reasonably enough, not quite ready to commit to giant talking rabbits yet, but evidently something is going on here, so he calls up to the ship and tells the shore leave parties to stand by and not leave the ship. Right when they were about to disembark, too. You could probably hear the collective groan clear on the other side of the ship.

McCoy expresses some surprise at Kirk suspending the leave, since after all it’s only a giant talking rabbit that came from nowhere, what’s worrying about that? Kirk asks if McCoy can explain this whole business and McCoy has to admit that he can’t, and since neither can Kirk, he’s erring on the side of caution and not bringing the entire crew planetside until they figure out for sure that whatever’s going on isn’t dangerous. It’s probably not dangerous, but then again most people would say a quick checkup for a couple of isolated archaeologists probably wasn’t dangerous. A socially stunted teenage boy probably wasn’t dangerous. Someone beaming up with a bit of glittery space dirt on them probably wasn’t—you get my drift.

So nobody’s getting their vacation until Kirk gets some answers, but before they can start working on that there’s a sudden explosion of noise—gunshots. Which I don’t expect people from the twenty-third century could readily identify, but it’s obviously a big scary dangerous-sounding noise, so everyone takes off at a run to go see what’s going on.

What’s going on turns out to be...Sulu, standing in a clearing and happily firing off the revolver we saw earlier. Naturally Kirk is all “wtf, Mr. Sulu” and Sulu cheerfully explains that look! it’s a gun! isn’t it cool??? Apparently antique gun collecting is one of Sulu’s many side hobbies, and this one is a really cool old super rare gun that he’s been wanting for ages, which he just happened to find laying under a rock nearby. He seems weirdly unperturbed by a centuries-old Earth weapon—let alone the specific centuries-old Earth weapon that he just happened to want—turning up on a newly discovered, uninhabited and definitely non-Earth planet. Also, apparently Sulu’s interest in guns did not at any point include an accompanying interest in gun safety, since he thought it was a good idea to just start firing the thing off randomly for kicks.

Kirk puts his hand out and gives Sulu a stern “hand over the toy, young man” expression, and Sulu reluctantly gives it up. He tries to explain to Kirk how the gun works, but fails to mention the part about how you really shouldn’t just stick a loaded gun straight into your belt unless you want to shoot yourself in the leg, so naturally Kirk does exactly that.

Well at any rate, that confirms that there’s more going on here than one brief localized hallucination. Speaking of which, Yeoman Barrows suddenly spots more of the strange tracks they saw earlier, running right past them. Kirk orders Sulu to take Barrows and follow the new tracks AND NO MORE SHOOTING THINGS. Meanwhile, he and McCoy are going back to the glade to investigate the original set of tracks. Frankly I’m not sure how useful ‘the glade’ is as a place name on a planet that seems to consist of nothing but glades, but that seems to be what Kirk is going with. As the captain and the doctor head off, we see a strange antennae rise from the rocks and turn towards them.

Kirk and McCoy walk back to The Glade, chatting about how strange and obnoxious this whole situation is—can’t even go down for a spot of fresh air and sunshine without weird shit happening. Still, McCoy says, it could have been worse—Kirk could have been the one who saw the rabbit. At that Kirk laughs and asks McCoy if he’s feeling a bit picked on about all this, and McCoy admits that yeah, just because you know exactly what’s going to happen when you tell someone you saw a giant humanoid talking rabbit doesn’t make it fun.

Kirk says that he knows what it feels like because he got picked on a lot back at the Academy, though presumably not for rabbit-related reasons. Evidently, as he himself freely owns up to, Kirk was not just a serious student but a “positively grim” one, which made him an easy target for inter-student-body trolling. That Kirk was especially studious and strait-laced in his academic years is an aspect of his character that’s consistent throughout TOS (remember Mitchell’s remarks about Kirk being a “stack of books with legs”), but it’s one that seems to be easily forgotten about in favor of the assumption that Kirk must have been a wild, rule-breaking, carefree kind of student more interested in having dorm room hookups than passing tests. I’m just sayin’. Take notes.

At any rate, Kirk relates how there was one particular upperclassman named Finnegan who took special delight in taunting and pranking him—putting soup in his bed or a bucket of water on the top of a door. Which, honestly, as far as college pranks go that’s pretty lacking in creativity, but it clearly got to Kirk as evidenced by the fact that he’s still kinda sore about it some fifteen years later.

In the midst of all this reminiscing, they notice a new set of tracks—young girl tracks. Or, well, not that there’s anything about them that specifically says ‘young girl’, but since McCoy saw a young girl in the vicinity of the rabbit we can make a safe assumption. Kirk decides to split up; he’ll follow the Alice tracks, and McCoy can follow the rabbit tracks. McCoy’s amenable to this.

[ID: McCoy saying, “I got a personal grudge against that rabbit, Jim,” with a broad grin.]

Kirk hasn’t been alone for very long, though, when he hears a voice calling, “Jim!” He turns—and there, leaning against a nearby tree, is a young man wearing a silver shirt and an insufferable expression, accompanied, as all Irish people are legally obligated to be, by cheerful jig music. It is, or appears to be, Finnegan himself, in the flesh and just as fresh and smirking as he was at the Academy-- something he demonstrates by grasping Kirk’s shoulders in a brotherly fashion before walloping him with a punch that sends Kirk head over heels into the grass. As Kirk lays there stunned, Finnegan dances around laughing like a hyena and taunting Kirk to get up and fight back.

Now, Kirk, of course, is no longer an Academy freshman, but a decorated starship captain with ample experience in dealing with highly unusual circumstances and keeping his head in times of stress, so naturally his measured response to this impossible situation is to stay calm and evaluate what could be causing this and how dangerous—only joking, he gets up and charges at Finnegan with clear intent to strangle the bastard. I can’t really blame him, though. They cast Finnegan to perfection; the actor does a really good job at being an annoying little shit.

Before the fight can really get going, though, a sudden noise cuts across the clearing. Not gunshots, this time, but a terrified scream. Kirk immediately takes off in the direction of the sound, leaving Finnegan behind to jeer at Kirk for running from a fight.

As Kirk pelts across the grass he’s joined by McCoy, also running to see what’s going on. The two of them track the noise down to Barrows, sobbing and gasping on the ground next to a tree with her uniform all torn away from the collar on one shoulder, a rare case of the fragility of Starfleet uniforms being a problem for someone other than Kirk. And honestly I’d say Barrows gets a worse deal out of it, since the female crewmembers have so much less uniform to lose in the first place. Poor yeoman doesn’t get an undershirt, either, or, apparently, even a bra with straps.

Barrows says, rather frantically, that she was just walking along when suddenly “he” appeared—a man in a cloak with a jeweled dagger. Kirk asks if she’s sure she’s not imagining all this. That’s pretty damn rich from a man who was fistfighting his inexplicably appearing college rival a couple minutes ago. What, does he think Barrows imagined this so hard it ripped her uniform?

She gets rather rightfully pissed and tells Kirk that no, she did not dream up being attacked, you jerk. McCoy comments that the man she’s describing sounds like Don Juan. Which is quite a leap since all he has to go on is “cloak and jeweled dagger,” which could potentially describe an incredible amount of characters. Hell, that could be Barrows’s D&D character. But no, apparently McCoy got it in one, because Barrows says that actually, as she was walking through the woods, “it was so sort of storybook...I was thinking, all a girl needs is...Don Juan.”

Really? I mean, I don’t mean to judge anyone else’s romantic fantasies. But, well, I could see walking through some beautiful woods and thinking the scene just needed a charming prince or maybe a unicorn or something. Not so much, “gee, it’s so beautiful around here, all a girl needs is to be violently assaulted by a fictional character legendary for being a womanizing sleaze.”

Well, anyway, that was weird. Hey, come to think of it, where’s Sulu? Shouldn’t he be around here somewhere? Barrows says that he ran after the cloaked fellow. Oh dear. New plan: Kirk tells McCoy to stay with Barrows while he goes to look for Sulu. As Kirk runs off, the mysterious aerial appears again, seemingly tracking him, but it goes unnoticed by everyone.

Kirk soon finds himself leaving the trees and meadows and jogging out into a rocky, desert-like area. It’s still pretty out there, though, with some wildflowers growing around, which Kirk stops to admire. Kirk. Kirk, buddy, I like flowers too, but you’ve got a crewman potentially in danger here. Maybe we could enjoy the foliage later.

A moment later, though, Kirk spots something a lot more distracting than a pretty flower: a pretty woman!

[ID: A white woman with blonde hair braided in a ring around her head, wearing a dress which is half white and half black with a pink flower design on the black half, standing in front of a cliffside surrounded by plants.]

Kirk stares in stunned rapture as the woman approaches. This is not just any woman; this is, judging by Kirk’s disbelieving murmur of, “Ruth…?” someone he knows, or knew. Random woman that Kirk knows who we’ve never heard of before? Gee, I wonder what connection he could possibly have to her. I’m going to guess she’s not his aunt.

“It is me, Jim darling, it is Ruth,” the woman says, and moves in to rub against Kirk’s cheek. Well, that’s an upgrade from Finnegan at any rate.

After the break Kirk gives a rather distracted captain’s log: still investigating this weird planet, lost a crewman but found a woman so it evens out. With a last vestige of professionalism he attempts to call McCoy, but the communicator isn’t working. Kirk is exactly as bothered by this as you would expect someone to be whose phone just broke right when they needed to call someone but really didn’t want to.

Anyway, back to more important matters: “How can it really be you, Ruth?” Kirk says it’s been fifteen years, but she hasn’t aged a day. He really seems quite emotional about all this. Kirk’s always courteous to the girls of his past, but he doesn’t usually get this worked up about seeing them again. Ruth must have been someone really special to him.

Sadly, the dreamy romantic atmosphere can only last so long before it gets shattered by reality, in the form of a communicator chirp, specifically. It’s McCoy, wanting to know if Kirk’s having any luck finding Sulu. You know? Sulu? Your crewman that you’re supposed to be looking for? Might be in danger? Remember him? Apparently not, because Kirk only manages a vague “hmm?” and then, when McCoy wants to know what the heck is going on over there, Kirk mumbles that he’s sure Mr. Sulu will be just fine. Maybe he’ll find a woman too! Or another gun. Whatever. He’s fine. It’s fine.

But Kirk just can’t get a break in here, because he promptly gets another call. This time it’s from Rodriguez, reporting that he just saw a flock of birds go overhead. “Don’t you like birds, Mr. Rodriguez?” Kirk asks, so Rodriguez has to remind him of that tiny little detail that there are no birds on this planet. Or at least, there aren’t supposed to be, according to all those scans they took.

Welp, Kirk says, guess those scans were defective, how bout that, funny ol thing, probably not important though...but, for all that he clearly wants to tell Rodriguez to go away so he can get back to Ruth Time, Kirk’s captain instincts are still hanging in there somewhere, so with a sigh he snaps out of it and tells Rodriguez to have all the search parties meet back at The Glade before hanging up. Ruth tells him to go do what he must and that he’ll see her again if he wants to, then walks off back into the desert, leaving Kirk alone among the rocks with only his memories...but just for like, five seconds, because he promptly gets another call.

This time it’s Spock, reporting that they’re getting some strange readings indicating some kind of ‘power field’ down on the planet, and that there’s “a highly sophisticated energy draining our power and increasing, beginning to affect our communications.” How energy can be highly sophisticated is beyond me, honestly (is it wearing a monocle? what?), but you’re the science expert there, Spock. Seems this energy might be coming from beneath the planet’s surface, possibly indicating some kind of industrial activity going on down there.

Well, I think at this point we can definitively say that Something Weird is going on down here. Kirk heads off back to The Glade in pursuit of answers, and as he leaves we see another aerial, sticking up from a rock and twirling attentively in his direction.

Meanwhile, McCoy and Barrows are having a cheerful meander through the woods. Lovely as the woods are, though, Barrows comments that she wouldn’t want to be alone in them. “Why not?” McCoy asks. I dunno, man, because she just got attacked by an armed man with distinctly dishonorable intentions? I think that’d put most people off a stroll through the woods, no matter how nice said woods are.

Barrows hasn’t been dissuaded from the romantic ideal entirely though, and says that in woods like this a lady should be dressed in some fancy fairy-tale princess duds. I was thinking ‘long pants and hiking boots’ myself, but whatever works for you.

McCoy replies that if she was so dressed she’d have “whole armies of Don Juans to fight off...and me, too.” Not sure if “let me just remind you of that scary encounter you just had with a threatening man” is the best approach to flirting, but going by the moment of tender hand-holding they proceed to have, I’d say Barrows is down with it. (Hmm...Bones...Barrows...kind of goes together. In a morbid way, but still.) Still, the whole thing doesn’t feel quite in character for Bones, which might be explained by this plot originally being intended for Kirk (of course) with McCoy swapped in later. Kirk and McCoy are pretty much interchangeable, right? Sure.

Barrows is quickly distracted from the hand-holding when she spots something in the trees nearby: the exact kind of fancy fairy-tale princess clothes that she was just talking about, hanging on some branches. Imagine that. She runs over to the clothes and holds the dress up to herself gleefully, exclaiming, “Look at me, doctor! A lady to be protected and fought over!” When McCoy suggests the clothes would look even better with her in them, Barrows isn’t sure if it’s a great idea, but decides to go for it. Now, uhhh, if Barrows wants to wear a pretty princess dress that’s entirely her prerogative, and I don’t blame her for wanting to change out of that awkwardly ripped uniform, but putting on a set of fancy clothes that mysteriously appeared in the woods? That sounds like an excellent way to get captured by faeries and I would not recommend it.

Barrows goes to change behind some bushes, brazenly ignoring the possibility of being kidnapped by the fair folk, and McCoy is very deliberately Not Peeking when he gets a call from Rodriguez. The communicator has gone all staticy and squawky, though, and McCoy only just makes out the message that they’re supposed to meet back in The Glade before Rodriguez cuts out, and no amount of shouting “ESTEBAN!” into the communicator gets him back. Which is a pity for Rodriguez, because the scene cuts to show us that he and Marteller are in quite the spot of bother: they’re leaning up against a tree, clutching each other, while a tiger prowls about nearby. Yes, a tiger. Not a dude in a tiger suit, or a dog with stripes painted on, or even stock footage of a tiger: an actual, real, 100% bonafide, quite expensive tiger. Rodriguez tries desperately to get ahold of McCoy again without setting off Shere Khan over there, but the communicator doesn’t pick up at all this time.

Blissfully unaware of the tiger trouble, McCoy watches Barrows emerge, all dolled up. Meanwhile, Kirk is talking to Spock and demanding some answers about all this. Spock is hesitant, but Kirk says it’s his job to provide answers. Cut him some slack there, Kirk. It’s pretty hard to come up with a good scientific explanation for giant talking bunnies and magic women. Well, one that doesn’t involve massive intoxicants, at any rate. Speaking of which, Spock wants to know if they’re really sure these haven’t been hallucinations. Kirk rather doubts that, since one of those ‘hallucinations’ clocked him across the jaw. A fair point, although I would also put forth the rather relevant detail that by now we’ve had multiple people seeing the exact same thing, not a common feature of hallucinations.

Spock wants to know if they should maybe beam down an armed landing party, who I’m sure would be terribly effective, but Kirk says no, there hasn’t been any real danger so far, just weirdness (he hasn’t seen that tiger yet). Right as he says that, he looks up and sees a flock of...are those geese? Oh shit, you better send that armed party down after all, Spock, things just got dangerous.

Meanwhile, Sulu (remember him?) is walking through a nearby canyon, probably wondering where the heck everybody is, when the ground behind him opens up like a trapdoor and a samurai jumps out and starts attacking him. Man, we were getting some perfectly good character development for Sulu this episode but now we’re back to “a samurai! because he’s Japanese! get it? get it?”  

Sulu pulls his phaser on the samurai, but the phaser doesn’t seem to want to fire, and Sulu’s forced to make a run for it, right into Kirk, who is trying and failing to call McCoy. Sulu warns Kirk about the aggro’d samurai heading towards them—but he’s gone. No samurai to be seen. “Captain, you’ve got to believe me!” Sulu insists, and usually “you’ve got to believe me” is the best way to guarantee that someone will not believe you, but luckily for Sulu Kirk’s seen enough weird shit of his own today that at this point, sure, samurai, why not.

Sulu reports that he got a call from Rodriguez telling him to meet back at The Glade, but the communicators were acting up, and now it seems his phaser is out too. Kirk tests his, but it’s also dead. Great, now we don’t have any way to fight off the geese.

While they’ll mulling over this latest development, something appears up on a nearby outcropping of rock—the familiar human-shaped swirl of light of someone being transported. It appears to be Spock, but instead of the usual smooth materialization, he fades in and out several times before finally making it all the way. Just your periodic reminder that traveling through transporter is kind of terrifying.

Kirk wants to know what the heck, man, did he not just say to not send anyone else down? Spock says he had to come down because ship-to-planet communications are now completely out, and the mysterious power field is soaking up energy so quickly that he calculated that if they hurried they could just about get one person transported down before that went out too. Naturally he sent himself; I mean, he’s only the first officer, who better to risk sending through a shaky transporter beam? At any rate, that was the last of the transporter juice, so they’re all stuck down there now with no contact with the ship. The shuttles are conspicuously unmentioned by anyone—but then, if the energy-eating field is that strong, flying a shuttle into it probably wouldn’t end real well.

Back in The Glade, McCoy and Barrows have arrived (and McCoy has found another stalk of grass to chew on), but no one else is there yet. At least it doesn’t look like anyone is there yet, but McCoy thinks he hears something or someone moving around nearby. That makes Barrows nervous, but McCoy says her brave knight will protect her.

Over in the desert, Kirk, Spock and Sulu hear the tiger approaching, along with the ominous background music. They spread out to find the source of the noise, but there’s another problem in The Glade: a knight in black armor on a horse, charging towards McCoy and Barrows with lance at the ready. Barrows freaks, but McCoy is done with this shit. First a talking rabbit, then magic guns, and now this nonsense? He’s not having it. These damn things are all just hallucinations, and he’s going to prove it...by standing directly in front of the knight.

Under some circumstances, that might have been the correct option. Unfortunately for McCoy, these are not those circumstances, and Kirk and Spock come into The Glade (having, apparently, missed the tiger completely) just in time to watch their friend get hit in the chest by a very much not imaginary lance. The knight turns towards Kirk and Spock next; Spock tries to fire his phaser  at it, but of course, the phasers aren’t working. Luckily Kirk still has that gun he confiscated from Sulu—which has somehow not gone off throughout any of these adventures--and it’s working just fine, fine enough to shoot the knight right off his horse. Dang, Kirk is a good shot with that thing, considering he’s never so much as encountered one before.

Everyone rushes over to McCoy, lying lifeless in the grass. That’s right, McCoy is dead. Oh god! McCoy! We hardly knew ye! Oh, I can’t believe this has happened. And so early on in the show, too. What a tragedy.

[ID: McCoy laying prone on the grass with a small bloody hole in his chest, while Kirk, Spock, and Barrows in her princess clothes kneel around him.]

Not that I have experience with these things but that seems to be a remarkably small and clean wound for a lance to the chest.

In shocked grief, Spock, Kirk and Barrows kneel around the body of their fallen comrade. Barrows is especially emotional, sobbing that it’s all her fault, until Kirk grabs her by the shoulders and sternly tells her to get a grip. I suppose he needs everyone to have a clear head since they’re still in a crisis situation but it seems a wee bit harsh. Poor Barrows. She’s had a really bad day. Although not as bad as McCoy’s day, I guess.

Sulu calls Kirk over to the body of the fallen knight, laying in the grass some way away. As soon as Kirk gets there it’s easy to see what got Sulu’s attention: underneath the visor of his helmet, the knight’s face is plasticky and clearly artificial (although the eyes are just a little unnervingly realistic).

[ID: A headshot of a knight laying on the grass with his helmet visor opened, showing the face of a white man with brown hair but with a flat, artificial sheen.]

“It couldn’t be alive,” Kirk muses. Kirk, don’t be mean to the stuntmen.

Spock comes over to scan the body—luckily his tricorder is still working (don’t ask why). He says that the knight is indeed not a corpse but a “mechanical contrivance” which has the same cell structure as all the plants around them. Which means that not only this knight, but everything on the planet has been manufactured. Oh my god. We’re in WESTWORLD.

So a mysterious black knight just appeared out of the blue, ran down poor McCoy, then got shot and turned out to be fake all along. Okay. Sure. To be honest, you could stick that sequence of events in the Arthurian canon and it wouldn’t stand out much.

Suddenly, just to add to all the weirdness, an airplane flies overhead. Somewhere else, Rodriguez and Marteller are watching it with astonishment. Rodriguez asks if Marteller remembers “the early wars and funny air vehicles they used” that he was telling her about. One wonders how that conversation came about. Was it before or after the tiger?

Anyway, Rodriguez brings this up because that, of course, is one of those very same airplanes he mentioned. Marteller asks if it can hurt them, and Rodriguez says it can’t unless it makes a strafing run. Naturally, the plane immediately makes a strafing run. The two run off, barely avoiding the hail of bullets, and escape into some nearby undergrowth, where Marteller falls over. Rodriguez kneels down, concerned, calling her name, but she doesn’t respond. I have no idea whether she tripped, fainted, or was shot and is now dead. It’s really not clear.

Back in The Glade, something weird (sorry, something else weird) has happened while everyone was distracted by the plane: McCoy’s body has vanished, along with the fake knight. Well, that’s great.

Spock has a hypothesis. He asks Kirk what he was thinking of right before he saw the people he mentioned. Kirk thinks back and says that he was thinking about being in the Academy and his youth and all that, and then Finnegan showed up. And speak of the devil—there he is again, Finnegan himself. Kirk demands Finnegan give him some answers about what’s been happening to them, but Finnegan just laughs and runs away.

Kirk’s not going to stand for that. He’s had a bad enough day—verbally outfoxed by Spock, had a potential bit of lovely shore leave turn into a massive headache, one of his best friends is dead, and now this horrible little bastard is having a laugh at him. There’s only one thing to do—track down Finnegan and take out some aggression on him. He tells Spock to take Sulu and find McCoy’s body—and just, uh, leave Barrows somewhere, I guess—while he goes after Finnegan. Spock is a little taken aback by this sudden turn of events, but Kirk has run off before he has a chance to argue.

The chase takes Kirk back out to the desert. Finnegan keeps popping up in the distance, moving from place to place so quickly and inexplicably that it seems like he’s teleporting. All this time Finnegan’s peppy jig motif is playing, which is suitable enough for the immediate situation but a bit disconcertingly cheerful considering one of our beloved main cast members died and had his body stolen like two minutes ago.

Finally, Kirk tracks Finnegan down to a small ledge and once again demands that Finnegan give him some answers. Finnegan’s response to this is to jump off the ledge, onto Kirk. So begins a long fight scene in the desert dust. Kirk gives it a good show, but Finnegan seems indomitable. He knocks Kirk flat and then stands over him, taunting Kirk about how Kirk went and got old while Finnegan is still a twenty-year-old college student in fine fighting form. Well...a twenty-year-old in fine fighting form, at any rate. He’s got way too much energy to be a college student.

Despite being Super Old, Kirk gets back up and continues the fight. This time he’s the one who knocks Finnegan down, and Finnegan promptly starts moaning about how he can’t feel his leg and Kirk has broken his back. This is, of course, a trick, and as soon as he gets the chance he flips Kirk over onto his back. Somehow, between landing on the ground and getting a close-up, Kirk manages to rip his shirt clean off most of his torso.

[ID: 1. Kirk landing on his back in the dirt while Finnegan begins to get up from the ground nearby. 2. Kirk laying flat on his back, bruised, with his shirt torn off one shoulder almost to his stomach.]

how did you even do that

He lays there, seemingly unconscious, and Finnegan starts laughing about how Kirk can sleep now, sleep as much as he wants, sleep forever and forever. Oh. Uh. That got creepy.

Luckily for Kirk, a commercial break happens, and by the time it’s over, he’s recovered somewhat. He gets up and says, once again, that he wants answers. Finnegan tells him to earn them and throws dirt in his face, and they start going at it. Again. Seriously, this fight lasts for a long time.

Eventually, they come to a halt, both disheveled, bleeding, and covered in dirt. “Kinda makes up for things, huh, Jim?” Finnegan asks. I don’t know if the “things” are Finnegan’s bullying back in the day or everything that’s gone wrong today—or maybe both. Hard to say, because when Kirk questions him yet again, Finnegan says, “I never answer questions from plebes,” causing Kirk, clearly at his breaking point now, to bellow “I’M...NOT...A PLEBE!” as only William Shatner could.

Kirk asks Finnegan why the hell he’s here, magically still a cadet just hanging out on a supposedly uninhabited planet, which is pretty weird, y’know. Finnegan says he’s “being exactly what you expect me to be.” Which is more information than Finnegan’s provided so far, but not enough to dissuade Kirk from getting back up and finally giving Finnegan a right good sock on the jaw.

As he stands there catching his breath, Spock suddenly appears and asks if Kirk enjoyed his fight. Well, I say suddenly. It seems suddenly, but honestly he could have been standing there for the past ten minutes playing a trumpet and wearing light-up sneakers and I doubt Kirk would have noticed during that fight.

Kirk admits that yeah, actually, he did enjoy that. He’s been wanting to beat up Finnegan for years now and he finally got the chance and damn, it felt good. Spock says that this all fits into his theory: that these things and people are showing up because the Enterprise crew were thinking about them. You don’t say? I’m kind of amazed it took them this long to realize that, honestly. I mean, if something becomes relevant soon after I happened to be thinking about it I immediately notice it because that kind of thing strikes you as odd, right? And if something literally appeared in front of me right after I mentioned it, I think my immediate instinct would be to ask for something else just to see what would happen, which in this case would rather give the game away.

Anyway, Spock says that they must all control their thoughts, which is definitely a thing humans can do under pressure. He thinks that everything is being manufactured below ground and placed above via a system of secret tunnels, kind of like Disneyland. Then he starts talking about the tiger Rodriguez encountered—and said tiger immediately shows up nearby. Great job controlling your thoughts, Spock!

Apparently, Shatner wanted Kirk to wrestle this tiger, but basic sense prevailed and he was talked out of it. I wonder how that conversation went. “I gotta fight the tiger! It’s what this Kirk guy’s all about! I know, I’ve studied him!”

Luckily Kirk and Spock make their getaway without anyone having to fight the tiger. As they run back to The Glade, the airplane returns for another strafing run, so they have to outrun that too. Then, because I guess this is the part where all the previous bosses return and you have to fight them again, the samurai appears as well, but Kirk and Spock don’t have any time for that so they just push him over and keep going without even slowing down.

Back in The Glade, Barrows is in her uniform again and sadly hanging up the princess clothes on some branches. Her ripped collar seems to now be on the other side. Man, there’s just magic clothes all over this episode. And just to make Barrows’s day even worse, a leering mustachioed man appears in the brush behind her—Don Juan, one presumes. Man, somebody had a really weird idea of what women fantasize about.

Barrows screams and Sulu and Rodriguez rush over to rescue her—Sulu seems to be hoping that just kind of waving his hands around in the air will do the trick. Before yet another fight scene can break out, Kirk and Spock show up and tell everyone to stop this nonsense, at which point Don Juan just kind of obligingly leaves.

Kirk tells everyone to stand at attention and to not breathe or think. I hope he has some kind of plan beyond that because that is not a sustainable course of action. I mean, that’s how you get a giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Or just some passed-out crew. Incidentally, Rodriguez is here, but Marteller is nowhere to be seen. What happened to her? Is she dead? Did he just leave her laying in the woods somewhere? I have no idea, because she never gets mentioned again.

So the crew lines up and tries desperately not to think about tigers or samurai or vintage guns or airplanes or Don Juan or fancy princess clothes or talking rabbits or old flames or college rivals or anything else, and while they’re doing this an old man in blue robes suddenly appears.

[ID: Kirk, still bruised with a badly torn shirt, looking in surprise at a kindly-looking white man with white hair, wearing a blue robe with gold leaf embroideries on the chest and cuffs.]

Dangit! Which one of you was thinking of an old man in blue robes?

The man, who seems to know everyone’s names, introduces himself as the caretaker of the planet. He apologizes for all their troubles and says that ‘they’ only realized just now that the Enterprise crew didn’t understand what was going on—that everything that happened was only meant to amuse and entertain them. On this planet, you can imagine any kind of experience you want, and it’ll happen. Spock calls it an amusement park, and then explains to everyone else that that’s ‘an old Earth term’ for a place where people went to have fun experiences. Wait, does that mean that amusement parks don’t exist anymore? Why not? When did we lose our amusement park capabilities? Man, I don’t know about this future, guys.

The Caretaker says Spock has got it right—this is basically one giant amusement park. The whole planet, in fact, was constructed for the Caretaker’s people to come and play. Sulu expresses surprise at the idea that a species that seems to be so advanced would still play games, but Kirk says that on the contrary, the more advanced the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play, and the Caretaker agrees. Okay, cool planet, guys, but have you considered maybe, I dunno, putting up some signs or warning buoys or something so random space travelers who don’t know what the place is about don’t stumble upon it and have a really bad day?

Speaking of having bad days, Kirk might have his answers now, but he’s not exactly happy about his best friend and CMO getting killed by what was more or less a rogue audio-animatronic. But then who should call out but the CMO himself, who comes strolling over, looking decidedly not dead. Also he has a couple scantily-clad women with him for some reason.

[ID: McCoy saying, “Possibly because no one has died, Jim,” as he stands in front of the pond arm-in-arm with two women wearing fluffy bikinis, feathers in their hair, and what looks like a feather boa wrapped around one leg; one woman is in pink and the other in yellow.]

McCoy says he was taken below ground for ‘repairs’ and that there’s a huge factory complex down there that can make absolutely anything. They even fixed his shirt! So McCoy is fine, and we can call off the mourning, what a relief. Phew. Really had me worried there.

Barrows, though, seems less than amused by the fuzzy girls and asks what’s up with that. McCoy mutters something about a cabaret he visited that had these chorus girls and, well, here they are. Really? That’s what you were thinking about, after being brought back from the dead by an advanced alien civilization in an underground factory? A cabaret you went to once? These people have weird priorities.

This is one part of the episode that strikes me as interesting because it’s quite different from how I would expect a more modern sci-fi story to handle it. The idea of a planet-sized super-advanced alien theme park that can generate whatever you’re thinking about is in itself not a story idea I’d be surprised to encounter today. But the idea that all these creations are mechanical replicas built in a giant underground factory kind of is. You’d expect a race as advanced as that to be using, I dunno, holograms or telepathic projections or just something that’s straight-up never explained. I mean, even by the time of TNG we have regular humans using holodecks, which do everything this planet can do with just hard light or whatever. It’s a sort of linear thought process, I think, which shows up more than once in Star Trek and plenty of other sci-fi, wherein the idea of super-advanced alien/future tech is expressed as “okay think of what we can do right now, and then imagine it could be done faster and better.” Rather than taking a sideways step to imagine some completely new technology, it’s basically “well we have factories that can produce artificial things, so the advanced aliens must have bigger factories that can quickly produce more lifelike artificial things.” Of course, all sci-fi is going to have that to some extent because it’s impossible to completely extricate our imaginations from our current understanding of the world. But sometimes it’s especially obvious.

McCoy, seeing Barrows’s expression, turns the fuzzy girls loose to go pester the rest of the crew. Kirk is curious about the Caretaker’s species, but the Caretaker gently says that he doesn’t think humans are ready to understand them yet. But Uhura calls Kirk to say that ship power and communications are back on, and the Caretaker says that the crew is free to take their shore leave on the planet if they want. Well, that’s nice of them. Not everyone would share their planet-sized amusement park with total strangers.

So Kirk tells the shore leave parties to start beaming down. Spock says that he’s had quite enough excitement and is going to go back and hold the fort on the ship, and Kirk almost overrules him and says that he’ll go instead because as the captain he’s not allowed to have fun. But then he sees Ruth approaching in the distance and decides that, you know what, he’ll stay after all. Personally it seems to me that knowing that the long-lost love you were smooching was actually a plastic simulacrum of them would kind of take the joy out of it, but hey, what do I know about these things. I just hope they explain the ‘anything you think of will immediately appear’ situation to everyone before they come down, or any crewmembers with an anxiety disorder are going to get a nasty surprise.

Some time later, everyone returns to the ship, looking quite refreshed and happy. As Kirk, McCoy, Sulu and Barrows come onto the bridge, Spock asks if they enjoyed their shore leave, and they all agree that they did, very much. “Most illogical,” Spock comments. I don’t know what exactly he finds illogical about that, but then that pretty much is Spock’s fall-back way of expressing disapproval regardless of how much sense it makes.

So everyone laughs, and they fly off, and we have a nice happy ending. The filming of Shore Leave itself was rather less happy. The original script was written by Theodore Sturgeon, but Roddenberry thought it contained too much fantasy, so he handed it off to Gene L. Coon for a rewrite—but in some sitcom-worthy misunderstanding, Coon somehow thought that Roddenberry wanted more fantasy. So Roddenberry himself wound up re-rewriting the script, but at that point they were so out of time that he was writing it while the episode was being filmed. I have no idea exactly what levels of ‘fantasy’ were involved in either version of the script that Roddenberry disliked so much. Unicorns? Werewolves? Women characters not getting harassed by mustachioed stalkers for no real reason? Who knows.

The script also called for an elephant along with the tiger, and an elephant was actually hired and brought to set, but various shooting difficulties meant that it never wound up getting filmed. No word on whether Shatner wanted to wrestle the elephant too.

You may also have noticed Kirk suddenly has a new yeoman seemingly replacing Rand. By this point, Rand had been written out of the series; Balance of Terror was the last episode she would appear in (in filming order, The Conscience of the King was the last episode Grace Lee Whitney worked on). Exactly why the decision was made to write Rand out so unceremoniously is not really clear to me, and there seem to be lot of differing viewpoints on it; one thing that is clear is that it was a huge blow to poor Whitney, who was abruptly dismissed from the show through no fault of her own. To be honest, I don’t personally think that Rand was written especially well most of the time, but I think that she could have been written well, which is what makes it such a shame that she was removed from the show without getting the chance to get any real character development. Within the show itself, there’s no reason given for Rand just being gone one day (people just appear and disappear at random on this ship), though I’m sure the EU has that covered. Personally I just hope she found a ship that was a lot less stressful to be a woman on. We’ll miss ya, Rand!

TREK TROPE TALLY: We’ve got one crewmember death, followed by one crewmember un-death, plus one truly incredible case of a Uniform Unformed with Kirk’s shirt magically destroying itself between shots. Next time we’ll finally see some shuttle action in The Galileo Seven.

[gabapaco1979-blog]

The people who gain a large amount of followers are generally doing an at least serviceable job. I yet to see someone who has a sizeable following that actually applying products "incorrectly." The only people I can think of who would even fall into that category are goth/alt/punk types who are still doing a perfectly good job within their subculture. Somebody who can manage to make a straight line with eyeliner or who puts their lipstick on crooked isn going garner a large audience.. No it isn't, RPM isn't the only factor in drive speed. An older 7200rpm may not be faster than a newer 5400rpm drive also 과천출장안마 the internals are better optimised to deal with the type of content being written and read from the drive. That being said I believe the bandwidth on the Sata 3 is a bit shit so yeah if you fork out for an Xbox branded external or something overpriced like that yeah you might achieve slightly better load times but nothing drastic like 10x. I have lived in places and in fact still live in an area where the government decides on the colour of your building. Most buildings are either white or brown here with an occassional bright colour like a red or blue just to break the staleness, but those buildings tend to be at a distance of the other ones.Point is that colour being controlled by government is a thing. It makes sense since you want to prevent your town from being called skittles, the rainbow town". But it's a nice thought to have once you're trying to catch up with life again, to help in forgiving yourself for the time you "wasted". Don't think about it as time "wasted", but as a fond past time or a distant home you can always go back to. You have free, unlimited Netflix in your head which you can access anytime, anywhere, at leisure.. Diverted water will still flow along the path of least resistance. Tumbling rocks are heavy and unpredictable. Animals are still reproducing and finding niches in nature. As for waifu bait, yeah I was genuinely surrised. Maybe I coming from a different perspective because I a girl (albeit a gay one), but playing the game, she was so bland and uninteresting I barely took a second look at her. She has a cute design, but most DR characters are designed well. Heck, the Switch and it portable nature could probably get people that have already bought the game once before, to buy it again. Rockstar has shown some interest in the Switch with LA Noire too, so I wondering if they did intend to put GTA V on the Switch at some point, and have run into issues in doing so (but I mean it ran pretty great on PS3 and 360, so I find it hard to believe it couldn perform well on the Switch), or maybe it still forthcoming. I have to imagine that they at the very least considered bringing it to the Nintendo system by this point.. It simply does not matter that other people have also done racist things. That is a lazy argument. It not an excuse. The Baron's ceremonial foods included grilled peanuts, 과천출장안마 black coffee, and bread. One of his favorite drinks is rum in which 21 hot peppers has been steeped. Baron Samedi is also the loa of sex and resurrection.. Researchers looked at 2,734 mothers who had their children at Boston Medical Center between 1998 and 2014 and had at least one follow up visit to BMC. Of those, 102 children received a diagnosis of ASD. The women weren't asked if they were overweight at the time of pregnancy, for example (because, frankly, who would answer that honestly).

[surveysonfleek]

974.

what is you favorite type of lunch meat? ham.

are both of you biological parents currently alive? yes.

what is your favorite tv show on comedy central? i don’t have comedy central.

what historical figure (i.e. abraham lincoln, helen keller) would you date? lol i don’t think i’d date any. i wouldn’t really know the ‘real’ them.

do you like mustard? only honey mustard.

do you wash you hair everyday? nope. every 2-3 days.

what is your most overused phrase? idk.

if you were a zoo animal (i.e. lion, tiger, warthog) what would you be? a bear.

any bad jokes that you love? most likely. i just can’t think of any rn.

what geographical region do you not live in, but adore? probably north america tbh. i’d love to live in canada.

do you have any shameful secret crushes (i.e. katie couric, your uncle)? nope.

what time of the year do you dislike the most? i both love and hate christmas. i love it because it’s festive, i hate it because of all the damn presents i have to buy.

do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? sometimes.

any teen sensations that drive you up the wall? not really, i don’t really pay attention to them.

how many hours a day do you completely waste online? hahaha. okay maybe 2?

what is your favorite color to wear? black.

describe your normal outfit. leggings, a loose tee and sneakers or sandals.

any embarrassing nicknames that your parents gave you? yep.

what is your favorite movie of all time? mean girls, white chicks, 40yo virgin.

if i gave you fifty extra bucks, what would you spend it on? petrol, parking at work.

are you an overacheiver? nope.

what physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? i wish i had huge dimples. i think they’re super cute.

what profession would you be if there were no education requirements? a food critic haha.

what is the biggest amount of money you have ever had in your hand at once? maybe 15k? it was at work though and it wasn’t mine.

what is your most overused phrase online? idk.

have you ever wasted an entire day watching tv in your jammies? of course!

how long have you talked on the phone in one conversation? like the longest? over 24 hours but it was on skype.

what video game could you waste the most time on? the sims or gta.

what is your favorite condiment? kewpie.

what is your favorite part of your body? face.

any dead people that you would like to resurrect? meh, nah. 

do you own any tv shows on dvd? yes.

what fictional character (i.e. bambi, scarlette o'hara) would you marry? aladdin.

if you were a disney character, which would you be? jasmine haaaa.

what age do you consider to be old? depends on the context. plus someone could be ‘young’ and still appear old. idk, broad question.

what is your all time favorite song? i couldn’t choose just one.

if you could see any band in history, who would you see? majid jordan.

what is your favorite laundry soap scent? just that typical fresh laundry smell. idk if it has a name?

how long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces) haha i can go for weeks without it, especially in winter.

what is the worst thing that you have ever done? idk. scratch someone’s car on purpose.

do you bite your nails? nope.

what chore do you like to do? washing dishes.

what tv show could you watch all day long? the office.

any cheesy bands that you love? nope.

are you afraid of going bald or getting wrinkly? not really. as long as i’m happy tbh.

blondes, redheads, brunettes, or baldies? brunettes.

what is the latest time you’ve ever gone to bed? i’ve gone to bed at literally all different hours of days/nights.

how many grandparents do you have? none, they’ve all passed.

what is your favorite type of ethnic food? japanese!

do you know anyone that looks just like someone famous? probably.

are you allergic to any type of food or medicine? yep. lactose intolerant. idk if that counts as an allergy though.

what is your biggest pet peeve? rudeness.

what is the nerdiest thing that you do? research shit online.

if you had enough money to retire today, where would you go? i’d go on a cruise that goes all around the world.

what tv show do you watch the most reruns of? the office.

how much time do you spend on your looks each morning? about 30 minutes.

what is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? idk lol.

what is your opinion of clowns? no opinion.

what is your favorite number? 7.

what fast food place is the best? burger king.

are there any types of animals that freak you out? yep. reptiles lol.

have you ever been on an amish farm? nope.

did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? i don’t write poetry at all.

what is one thing that you’d never want your grandma to know about you? she’s already passed away.

if you could rid the world of one celeb, who would it be? chris brown.

who does your laundry? me and mum.

are there any songs that you know all the words to? many, duh.

do you ever laugh out loud at tv shows when no one else is in the room? yes.

do you have any tattoos or piercings? just ears and nose piercings.

do you like any cuddly, super cute, possibly pink things? probably.

describe your morning ritual. wake up, check time, pee, check phone for notifications, get ready.

it’s midnight. you’re hungry. what are you sneaking out of the fridge? changes all the time.

have you ever owned a hamster? nope.

are you awkward in social situations? i can be, especially if the other person is too.

have you ever gone through a phase where you wore all black? yes.

if you could go nuts and dye your hair any color, what would it be? dark purple.

who is your hero? my parents.

have you ever dyed or permed your hair? i’ve dyed it before. it’s been years though.

what’s the weirdest pet you’ve ever had? nothing weird at all.

do you blog? no.

do you use people’s names in your passwords? no.

are you currently romantically attached? yes.

who is your favorite superhero? wonderwoman.

speaking of superheros, what magical power would you most want? teleportation.

what’s at the end of the rainbow? a leprechaun. 

what is the worst month of the year? idk. november. ridiculously busy.

what is your dad’s middle name? he doesn’t have one.

what is your favorite thing about your life? the people in it.

[sidemen-basic]

Honestly, Fuck GTA

Pairing - Simon x Y/N

Warnings - This is some fucking kinky ass SMUT baby

Requested - by the one and only smut queen of course @sidewomanxix “Okay... SO... Simon smut request, as you know me & as you have just broken me🤷🏼‍♀️ ANYWAY. This gotta be some kinky👏🏼arse👏🏼shiiiiiiiit👏🏼 you're sat on his sofa watching him do a recording with the lads, it's a gta video & someone's modding & REALLY pissing him off. At one point, he throws his headphones & almost breaks them. Anyway, session goes really bad for him, yadda yadda, at the end you go over, wrap your arms round him on the chair & then it just escalates into angry sex so lol✌”

Notes - Welcome to hell :) Also I’m BACK BITCHES

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You sat on the couch in Simon’s room, lazily watching him play GTA with the lads. Casually you scrolled through your twitter whilst listening to Simon’s half of the conversation. By the sounds of it, he wasn’t doing so hot.

“I fucking HATE playing with randoms online. I always get fucked over… EVERY FUCKING TIME WHAT THE FUCK!” Simon was clearly fuming, his face was red with anger and his clutch on the controller made his knuckles turn white.

“Naaaaaah mate I’m fucking done, fuck this.” Simon threw his control down on the desk, his screen showing that he’d timed out. Somehow the other lads had convinced him to go another round. This had not been the wisest choice, considering someone in the lobby was using cheat mods.

“He’s modding, I swear to god he is.”

”Honestly, fuck GTA.” “You guys aren’t seeing this, he’s just fucking us all over!”

“FUUUUCK!” That was his final straw. The race was over and the person modding won. Simon did a very pissed off outtro, turning off the recording and not even saying goodbye to the boys as he disconnected from the call. Simon sat in silence, staring at the screen for a minute. You watched intently, waiting for his next move.

Out of nowhere his headphones were off and thrown at the wall. They hit with a crash and fell to the floor. Quickly you were up on your feet, running over to the possibly broken headphones.

“Simon what the fuck, these are nice headphones. You could have broken them!” You lectured the extremely pissed off boy as you walked back over and set them on the desk in front of him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared off at the wall as you tried to comfort him. He stood up suddenly, pushing your arms off of him. He spun to face you, his face still looked pissed, but his eyes showed a hint of something else.

You stopped meeting his gaze and looked at the ground. You had a feeling you knew what was coming next, and the thought went straight to your core.

Simon took a step towards you, and you took one back. This continued until your back hit the wall. Immediately his hands were on yours, grabbing at them and pinning them with one hand above your head. You tried to struggle but that was quickly put to a stop when Simon took his other hand to lift your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“Do I seem like I’m in the mood for the dominance game, Y/N?” His dark eyes peered into yours, almost daring you to try that again.

Slowly you shook your head no, stopping your movements against his hands.

“Good girl.” He moved his face down, pushing his lips against yours in a needy and rough kiss. His other hand wandered down to your thigh, brushing up and down, near where you wanted him. He bit your lip for entrance to your mouth and you knew better than to deny it to him.

Once his tongue was exploring your mouth his hand moved up to your left boob. He smirked into your kiss when he found out you were braless. His fingers moved around your nipple, slowly making it hard. Once it was to his liking, he pinched it between his fingers, working a moan out of you.

Simon broke away from the kiss, taking your hands and leading you to the bed and basically throwing you on it.

“Don’t move an inch.” He stated, turning around to go into his closest. You kept your eyes on him, knowing exactly what he was getting. As he walked back he saw that you were in the same position and smiled, liking your obedient behavior.

Simon set something down and pulled you off the bed, removing all your clothes. He proceeded to pull off his shirt and joggers, leaving himself in black underwear. You admired the view for as long as you could before he pulled you over his lap.

“Each sound means one more. Understood?” Simon asked you, hand caressing your ass.

“Yes Si.” You replied, already biting your lip to try and prevent sound. His hand came down on your ass, making a loud noise. You however, stayed silent. Simon was basically taking out some of his anger in this moment, as his spanks got harder and harder. Not that you weren’t enjoying it of course. You were getting more wet with each spank, and you could feel your wetness dripping down your thighs and onto Simon.

You looked back at Simon to see him smirking, his hand leaving your ass and slowly going to where all the wet was coming from.

“Someone’s excited, hmm baby girl?” He looked at you, waiting for a response.

“Very much so.” You replied, rubbing your thighs together to get some form of friction.

“I’ll be having none of that thank you very much.” Simon moved and got you on the bed, getting on top of you. He reached behind himself and grabbed a pair of handcuffs, cuffing your hands above your head.

His head dipped down to your breasts, taking one nipple in his mouth, pulling it with his teeth. His other hand when down to your folds, getting all the wetness on them. He made eye contact with you as you shot him a pleading look.

He took no time plunging two fingers in you, giving you no time to adjust as he pumped them in and out of you at a rapid pace. Moans started spilling out of you as your head tipped back and your eyes closed tightly.

Simon removed his hands as he squeezed your nipples none too lightly.

“I’m still so fucking pissed off.” He said to you, his grip getting harder. You whimpered a bit as Simon stared down at you, plotting his next move. His hands removed themselves from your body as he went to pull down his underwear.

His member looked painfully hard as it slapped up against his lower chest. You stared at it, always amazed by its size. Simon didn’t waste any time as he grabbed a condom and put it on, lining up to go into you.

He slammed into you, going all the way into you in the first push. You moaned very loudly, whimpering “Simon, fuck.” Over and over as he pounded into you, holding your chin so your face stayed pointed at his. His eyes never left yours as he worked you up.

Soon he was close, his thrusts getting sloppier. You were close to, a moaning mess under him.

“Please Si, make me cum. Please Si.” You whimpered out. He moved down and started to give you a hickey on your collar bone as one hand made sloppy circles on your clit.

“Come on baby girl, cum for me.” He growled at you, moving his hand faster. You moaned very loudly, letting go and sinking into a pleasure abyss. Simon came soon after you, riding out both your highs.

Once he was sure you were both done, he pulled out and threw away the condom. The handcuffs came off and Simon fetched a warm washcloth to clean you both up.

Soon you were both under the sheets, lights off, in each others arms. He placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Sorry for taking it out on you baby, I was just… I was so pissed off and sex helps me cool off.” You smiled up at him, kissing him.

“Anytime Si, anytime.”

[cyberdaisy23]

No one asked me. So, I answered them anyway.

ASK ME THINGS

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? I honestly don’t even wanna think about that. That’s so gross. Next.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? He’s at work and I a now lonely :c 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? Uhhhhh...Yea???? Tf?

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Yes.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Drunk......On love *eyebrow wiggle*

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? ahahahah ye

7. What does your last received text say? “I sent you messages on Facebook so you need to look at them.”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? I lost count after our first kiss which was a makeout session on the stairs of the school’s 2nd flood landing lmao. There were lots of kisses there. And so many more after/to this day. So i dunno.

9. Where was your last kiss at? in bed before he left for work.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? fuuuuuuck idunno. Like....2 months ago?

11. What do you drink in the morning? dick. hahaha jk. Coke.

12. Where did you sleep last night? my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? they’re only hard if you make it hard.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Nahh

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? The only problem would be that there’s too much time and not enough sex.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? ye.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ye

20. Does anyone like you? No idea

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? No.

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? No

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Yes

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? I have. I would like more pls

25. In the past week have you cried? no, surprisingly.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Siberian Husky c:

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Out of the showa

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? no ew

29. Do you think you’re old? no.

30. Do you like text messaging? yes. way more than phone calls.

31. What type of day are you having? meh

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? no

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? warm.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yesss

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? relationship tf?

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? complicated xD

37. What song are you listening to? Rage Against The Machine - “Renegades of funk”

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Always. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Yes 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? His eyes  tbh 41. When did you last receive a text message? idk it doesn’t show the time. 42. What is wrong with you right now? I sleepy. 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? very well. 44. Does anyone disgust you? the human race counts, right? 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? fuck no. 46. Are you in a good mood right now? I guess.  47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my room mates 48. What color shirt are you wearing? black 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? many times. 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? no not really 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? As long as he keeps catching me, things will be okay.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yes.. 53. Do you like rain? no. ew. I like watching it and hearing it. Being in it? No Bueno. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? depends on why they’re doing it. If it’s a special occasion, and he has work off the next day, and does it at home, then sure go ahead. 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? No. I always told people if I liked them  56. Do you like to cuddle? too much. 57. Are you shy? yea 58. Do you get along with girls? fuck no XD 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? In a way...? XD 60. What do you carry with you at all times? my vape 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yes 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? I’ve done it for 7 years, bruh. Five months is for amateurs.  63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Yes. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yes!!!! 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Babe kissed me on the head and said he missed how clingy I was and how he’s glad that I am again. c:

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? I only kissed my babe, so...22

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   I’d rather do em myself.  68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    neither. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don’t even have a car    70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?   Lil Wayne. 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    Android. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   idk i stay away from Pizza Hut because their sauce gives me acid reflex  73. Do you like diet soda?    no 74. What color are the walls in your room?  red, brick and white.    75. Are you 16 or older?    21 m8 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    no 77. Do you have a job?    ehhhh i guess   78. What are your initials?    K.A.D. 79. Did you ever have braces?   No, but I needed them. Too late now.  80. Are you from the south?   No 

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    “I CAN PLAY PANDORA IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE I PLAY GTA ON XBOX ONE??? Bruuuuhhh...” 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? No. I’d rather not go back to that toxicity, even if it IS just friendship. I’m good. 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  mom 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? nO     85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   Suicide Squad.....What a waste of money and time that was.  86. Do you smoke?  vape m8. get rekt. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   heels are sexier.  88. Is your phone touch screen?    yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    messy is besty 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    no. I snuck out of my ex’s house though XD  91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?   pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    Yes. and other stuff 93. …Had sex in a car?   ...Not yet....  94. Are you single or in a relationship?    I’m collared bruh. So, engaged. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  Watching A Tenacious D movie XD   96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    last year on the 4th of July like a normal person 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    ew no 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  yea...   99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    no 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YES. 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    yea 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    “Cannibal” 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    no. I can’t tan. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? No. ew