#that meme is an actual representation of me when I scroll through your blog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lillupon · 4 years

Note

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask.

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it.

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF.

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community.

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless.

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well.

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags.

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

#asks #my writing #fic & fandom #I keep coming back to fiddle and add things to this answer #but I think I've said all I wanted to now...

14 notes · View notes

august-anon · 5 years

Text

Still Got It

Hello friends, I got into an intense lee mood and wrote this and made this blog before I could talk myself out of it.

This is loosely based in one of my regular fics from my regular blog (the identity of which will be kept under lock and key because I don’t want anyone to know about this secret blog) and I wrote this so I wouldn’t have the urge to put a weird tickle scene in the fic. All you really need to know is that all the sides are seniors in high school and Virgil’s mom died when he was like 8 or 9 (which is briefly mentioned in the fic, so if you aren’t down with that please be careful or just don’t read).

Prinxiety with some pining barely-there Logicality in the background.

Word Count: 2,350 (because apparently my rambly, long-windedness isn’t reserved for just regular fics)

Also this is the first ever tickle fic I’ve written so please don’t judge me too harshly lol

(Also I didn’t edit this so I wouldn’t talk myself out of posting it so it may have mistakes or characters may sound weird/ooc at times)

-----------

It had been a few weeks since Roman and Virgil had started dating, and things were going shockingly well (in Virgil’s opinion, Roman never seemed to have any doubts) despite their rough start.

Things at school were still pretty awkward (the most loved and most hated people in the school getting together? The student body would need some time to adjust), but they were happy and that was all that mattered.

For now, they were taking a break from the mess that was their school lives, relaxing on Logan’s couch, with Logan and Patton relaxing to their left (still pining after each other, despite Roman and Virgil’s best efforts).

Patton was scrolling through his phone and laughing at memes while monitoring Logan out of the corner of his eye to make sure he didn’t try to start studying again, and Logan was actually reading a book for fun for once.

Suddenly, Roman sat up straighter, turning towards Virgil. “You know,” he started, “I can see those walls you have up breaking down every day, you’ll smile a lot more often around me now, but I truly and genuinely don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh.”

“Maybe you’re just not as funny as you think you are,” Virgil teased with a smirk.

Roman gave a mock-offended gasp, a hand coming up to clutch at his chest.

Patton giggled at his dramatics.

Roman waved a hand in Patton’s direction. “See? I’m funny!”

Logan raised an eyebrow and adjusted his glasses, leaning over to look at Roman past Patton and Virgil. “Forgive me for saying this Patton, but he’ll laugh at just about anything. I’m not certain he’s an accurate representation of how funny you are.”

Patton giggled again and shrugged. “He’s not wrong, Roman.”

“Well, you two are accurate representations, either!” Roman argued. “You guys barely smile, let alone laugh! Who the hell even knows what it would take to get even the barest of chuckles from you.”

Virgil shrugged, still smirking, and relaxed back into Roman’s side when he sunk back down, pouting. His arm came up to rest on Virgil’s shoulders while the other hand dramatically went up to his face.

They relaxed in silence for a few minutes more before Logan leaned over Patton again, a gleam in his eyes.

Virgil gave him a suspicious look. Nothing good ever came out of that particular gleam.

“Roman,” he said, as calm as usual, but Virgil still tensed.

Roman hummed to show he was listening and shot a questioning glance at Virgil. Virgil ignored him, keeping his eyes locked on Logan.

Then, Logan smirked, like only childhood best friends holding the secrets to the universe could. “I wonder if Virgil’s still ticklish,” he finished, a barely-there lilt to his voice that probably only Virgil could pick up on.

The betrayal.

Virgil’s eyes went wide and his fight or flight responses kicked in. He tried to launch himself off the couch to run (he knew this house better than Roman, and he could still fit in some good hiding places), but the arm around his shoulders worked to Roman’s advantage. He used it to pull Virgil to his chest and fling them both to the ground, Roman being careful to cushion Virgil’s fall.

Virgil tried to pull away, leading to a light wrestling match breaking out. A wrestling match that Virgl was doomed to lose, considering that Roman played on half the school’s sports teams and the only working out Virgil did was sneaking out his bedroom window.

“So it’s true, then?” Roman asked gleefully.

“What’s true?” Virgil bit out, trying to push at Roman’s hands and gently throw him off with a foot to the stomach (a quiet thought of “throw him off his rhythm” almost caused Virgil to lose his focus).

“You’re still ticklish!” Eagerness was rolling off of Roman in waves.

Virgil suddenly stopped fighting, frozen in place. Roman stopped, too, probably worried he’d crossed one of Virgil’s boundaries or overstepped.

“I don’t know,” Virgil finally said, brows furrowing.

Roman relaxed above him. “Don’t know…?” He trailed off, eyebrows also scrunching up together. “If you’re ticklish?”

Virgil shrugged and nodded, finally meeting Roman’s eyes.

“Well you used to scream pretty loud when your mom used to get you,” Logan said, somewhat oblivious to the silent conversation the two lovers were having.

Roman leaned forward and spoke lowly enough that their friends couldn’t hear. “If this is something you really don’t want to happen let me know now. You know I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or do something you didn’t like.”

Virgil remained silent.

Roman gave a subtle nod with an eyebrow raised.

Virgil returned the nod.

Roman grabbed his hand and squeezed once before relaxing his grip. “Squeeze once for me crossing a line, twice for ‘stop this instant.’”

And after another brief moment of careful eye contact, they were wrestling again. Virgil could feel the anxious anticipation rolling around in his stomach and took a moment to remind himself of what Roman had promised.

That moment of distraction was all Roman needed, beaming as he was able to toss Virgil’s hands away and latch onto his sides and squeeze.

Virgil immediately gave up that fight to start a new one, his sleeve-covered fingers shooting up to cover his mouth.

Evidently, he was still ticklish.

Very ticklish.

But as ticklish as he seemed to be, he wasn’t going to make getting that laugh easy for Roman.

That just wouldn’t fit who he was, now would it?

Roman laughed victoriously as he gently squeezed up and down the fleshy parts of Virgil’s sides. “Come on, darling,” he said, a teasing lilt to his voice, “just give in! You know you want to!”

Roman switched to digging into Virgil’s ribs causing Virgil to lurch and squirm, eyes squeezing shut as he fought his giggles down.

Scary emo teenagers that put entire high schools on edge did not giggle.

But damn, how did that tickle so much through a tshirt and his hoodie? That just wasn’t fair.

“You’re going to break eventually,” Roman teased, “you’re just dragging this out much longer. Though, who’s to say I’ll even want to stop once I get a taste of that adorable laughter?”

Virgil briefly wondered how Roman got so good at this. Then, he remembered that not only did he grow up with the bubbly Patton, he also had Patton’s younger brothers to practice on. Not to mention his own older brother (and from what Roman told him, Remy definitely seemed like the teasing, tickling big brother type).

In a desperate attempt to keep his laughter in, his competitive nature getting the best of him, Virgil frantically tried to recall where he was most ticklish when he was young. He’d been pretty ticklish everywhere, but if he remembered correctly, his most ticklish spot was--

“Get his tummy!” Patton called out with an affectionate laugh.

--His stomach.

He very much regretted leaving his hoodie unzipped as Roman’s fingers scribbled over his thin lounge shirt.

He couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Virgil’s hands shot down to grip Roman’s wrists, though he very carefully made sure not to squeeze. His eyes shot wide open, as did his mouth as he started letting out loud laughter.

Roman’s face lit up. “Well isn’t that just the best sound for sore ears!” He crowed, switching his technique to alternating between light squeezes and spidering fingers that drove Virgil absolutely insane.

“Aww!” Patton squealed from the couch. “He’s so cute!”

“Even I must admit,” Logan leaned forward, smirking, “I haven’t even heard him laugh like that, not in years.”

If Virgil’s face hadn’t already turned red from trying to hold his laughter in (and from Roman’s teasing, not that he would admit it), he was sure he would be blushing at their words.

“This may just be the most perfect sound in the universe,” Roman cooed, leaning down to get his face closer to Virgil’s. “I really do think I need to hear more of it, I might just die if I don’t!”

Roman slowed down to give Virgil a slight breather, though he didn’t stop his fingers entirely, keeping Virgil giggling. It seemed that once the laughter started, Virgil couldn’t make it stop.

Not that he necessarily wanted to.

Roman slowly and carefully started maneuvering his fingers under Virgil’s shirt, giving Virgil ample time to squeeze Roman’s wrists to back out or tell him to at least back off.

If anything, Virgil actually loosened his grip. He brought one hand back up to his mouth to muffle the giggles.

Roman mock-pouted. “Now why would you do that? I wanna see those cute little dimples bouncing around!”

His fingers, now fully under Virgil’s shirt, switched back and forth between sweeping with the pads of his fingers and spidering with his short nails, making Virgil’s giggles grow in volume and intensity.

Roman smirked. “I suppose I’ll have to just make sure I get to see them again, won’t I?”

Virgil brought his other hand up as well, so that his entire face was covered by hoodie-clad fingers, save for his eyes, dancing with mirth.

Bring it, they said.

Roman narrowed his own in response. “So be it,” he growled out playfully.

And Virgil’s break was over.

Virgil didn’t even try to hold back his laughter again, howling out as Roman went back to work. The tickling feeling on his bare skin was so much worse. It was a struggle to keep his hands over his mouth, muffling his loud belly laughter. He knew he’d lose this game eventually, too, but he was determined to hold out as long as possible.

“Tickle tickle, sweet Virgil!” Roman sang. “Don’t you just wanna drop those hands? Give in and let me hear the sweet melody that is your laughter? The gorgeous gift that is your smile and sweet little dimples?”

Virgil’s face was on fire. It wasn’t fair that Roman knew all the right buttons to press to make him blush, and after such a short time of dating, too! Not to mention how good at tickling and teasing he was.

Roman’s fingers tickled up his torso, landing on his ribs once more and playing them like a piano. Unlike before, with both his hoodie and shirt in the way, Roman could actually stroke between each bone, wiggle his fingers along the bones themselves.

Virgil squealed as his arms shook, aching to come down and protect himself. He squirmed from side to side as much as he could with Roman straddling him (and Virgil wondered when that happened), which admittedly wasn’t far, and certainly didn’t bring much relief.

“Oh?” Roman said. “What was that cute little sound? I really wish I could have heard it, but there seems to be something in the way! Maybe if I just…”

Roman slid his fingers up into Virgil’s armpits, scratching away; and, despite Virgil’s best efforts, his arms came crashing down just in time for a loud shriek to pass through his lips.

“Aww, there he is!” Roman cooed. “My sweet prince! What adorable sounds you make!”

“Roman!” Virgil cried out through his laughter, not entirely sure where he was going with the sentence.

“Yes, dear?” Roman replied, and Virgil could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

Virgil just shook his head, not having an answer.

“Tell you what. If you can lift your arms up so I can get my hands back, I’ll stop.”

Virgil shook his head again and called out through his cackling, “I can’t!”

And he didn’t know if he really wanted to, either.

Virgil hadn’t been tickled since his mom died, and he’d been so young when it happened. He can’t remember disliking being tickled as a child, but he’d been so worried that had changed now that he was practically an adult.

But, as it turned out, Virgil thought he might actually like it.

And wasn’t that an embarrassing thought?

But when Roman started blowing raspberries, swapping between his now-exposed stomach and his neck, Virgil knew he reached his limit for the time being. Especially with those fingers still wiggling away in his armpits.

Try as he might, though, Virgil couldn’t raise his arms. It was all too overwhelming. His hands flailed as much as they could with his arms being glued to his sides. He latched onto one of Roman’s arms as tears of laughter finally started trickling down his burning cheeks, frantically squeezing twice.

Everything immediately stopped.

“I guess I’ll have mercy for now,” Roman said with a grin, trying to play it off in front of the others. He started wiping away Virgil’s tears. “My fingers were getting tired anyway. But there will be repeat performances. Especially since I’m sure I didn’t find all your spots!”

Virgil’s blush, which had thankfully started fading, flared up again. Roman chuckled and pulled him in for a hug.

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” Virgil mumbled before he lost his nerve. It was as close as he could get to saying he liked it.

Roman pulled back and grinned at him, wiggling his eyebrows. Virgil rolled his eyes and gave him a playful shove.

They both looked up to find Logan still immersed in his book and Patton back on his phone, though both of them seemed to be smiling. Logan looked up from his book and stared back at them.

“I’d consider this experiment a success. It seems you are just as ticklish as when we were kids.”

“Watch it, Specs,” Virgil threatened with a playful grin. “I know your secrets, too.”

“Is that so?” Patton asked innocently, though he had a predatory grin.

Logan shifted in his seat, eyes wide, but mouth wisely kept shut.

Roman and Virgil cuddled back up together on the couch next to Patton and Logan and started scrolling through their respective phones, occasionally turning to each other or the others when something particularly funny came up.

Then, Patton broke the peaceful silence once more.

“By the way, Virge,” he said casually, eyes still on his phone, “Roman is still super ticklish, too.”

#tickle fic #tickling fanfiction #sanders sides tickling #ticklish!virgil #lee!virgil #ler!roman #prinxiety tickling #i am anxious and adding 'tickling' to all the tags so this doesn't show up in the main tags lol #the tagging system is /mostly/ just for my own sorting on my blog #but i suppose i have enough tags now that things are less likely to show up in main tags?#it's only the first 5 that count right?#i don't pay attention to how tumblr works who knows #sanders sides #prinxiety #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #tickling #my writing #i guess we'll leave it at that #i find it funny that i'll curse when writing fiction but it's illegal for me to curse otherwise #i cannot legally curse hello #my ancient laptop literally shut itself down as I was editing my ao3 tags prepping to post it here and there at the exact same time #that was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me on tumblr #t fic

134 notes · View notes

shamrock96 · 5 years

Text

So I’ve been thinking about Polyamory lately...

I started watching this show called Siren where this couple meets a mermaid and all three of them slowly start falling in love with each other and this is my first exposure to polyamorous representation and I think it’s a great triad relationship the writers have going here to explain the more complex emotions involved in a polyamorous relationship.

If anyone gets bored gong through this or knows you’re in for a long post as least know that this is the main idea of this post before scrolling past it: The best kind of love is a healthy tender relationship to people you can trust and who love you unconditionally.

Now I’m not poly myself, I don’t know what I am to be honest, so I don’t know what’s all involved. I’ve done research and I know that there are many different types of polyamory for it to just be whittled down to one example but what really strikes me and fascinates me about the polyamorous relationship depicted in Siren is the deep love and commitment each of the partners have with each other.

In the past I’ve joked about polyamory in the sense “haha let’s just forget this bogus love triangle and have everyone just get together” and after hearing other people’s stories and learning about their relationships I know there’s a lot more to it than just saying “screw it, let everyone just have sex!”

So I’ve put together a list of other possible areas where other writers could have gone this way. Because representation is important and love triangles have become an extremely cliché and toxic trope in television and movies to the point I don’t think writers really know what a healthy relationship between partners looks like anymore.

I got a lot of these from Triad of the Day but I just wanted to explain more in depth why I think these characters would be so good together

1. Veronica Lodge and Cheryl Blossom and Betty Cooper

So I’ve got to admit, I don’t actually watch Riverdale and this is probably a bad example to start with because my reasoning for these three being a triad is: just look at them. They’re obviously in love. And they can all still have their men on the side if that’s what they want but from what I’ve seen of gifs and on other people’s blogs, there is a strong feminine power here that transcends just being friends/frenemies/whatever.

2. Harley Quinn and Catwoman and Poison Ivy a.k.a The Gotham City Sirens

Harley and Poison Ivy are already renown for their amazing sapphic relationship but I feel like Catwoman is a good addition to their love because of how often she gets snubbed by Batman (a man she clearly has feelings for a who has feelings for her) for embracing her darker side. Harley, more than anyone, understands being sidelined and downright abused by someone you care about and I think Poison Ivy would praise Selina for embracing the side of her that come more naturally. Harley and Poison Ivy already have a great and more or less healthy (as healthy as trauma inflicted villains can be) and Selina could really use some of that love in her life.

This is also probably my inspiration for the whole Veronica/Cheryl/Betty triad I have above.

3. Kathy and Don and Cosmo

Again, so I haven’t really seen this movie in its entirety yet (just bits and pieces) but I’ve seen enough to know they were all just meant to be together. Especially in the “Good Morning” number where they talk about “danced the whole night through”. Like what is better than one person finding two other people they can laugh and have fun together until dawn? This just seems super figured out to me.

4. Miles O'brien and Keiko O'brien and Kira Nerys

This is one where I think things get a little complicated for so many reasons. For starters it’s a great example how a polytriad relationship works when children are involved. For those who aren’t familiar with Star Trek: Deep Space 9, the story between these three are that Miles and Keiko have been married ever since they were on Star Trek: The Next Generation. They even have a daughter who is about four when the couple are expecting their next baby. Due to a transporter malfunction Kira is accidentally impregnated with Keiko’s baby. This was the writers’ way of explaining Kira’s actress, Nana Visitor’s, own pregnancy (coincidently with other co-star, Alexander Siddig, but that’s a whole other story).

Anyways, once Kira is unexpectedly carrying the O’Brien’s child she moves in with them so that they can still experience the pregnancy and become closer to their new surrogate. As a result Kira also becomes closer to the O’Brien’s and their daughter Molly. The birth of Kirayoshi is a really touching episode and it’s obvious that Kira has become extremely attached to the baby. After the birth the O’Briens make Kira Kirayoshi’s godmother (and also kind of name him after her) and she becomes a part of the family, like an aunt.

The only reason this gets complicated is because of Kira’s work relationship with Miles. While Kira and Keiko become super close and it could easily have turned into something romantic there’s not a lot of that bonding going on with Miles. And I know there are relationships where person A (Kieko) has a strong relationship with persons B (Miles) and C (Kira) but persons B and C aren’t as close, but my main objective in putting these characters together is to form a perfect triad where everyone loves and is loved equally. The writers could have also easily done this by having Kira and Miles bond more emotionally rather than professionally but they didn’t so we don’t get to see what that would have looked like except in fanfiction.

5. Elphaba and Galinda and Fiyero

Like I think a majority of the fans of Wicked agree that these three were all in love one way or the other. Some ship Glinda and Elphaba, Glinda shipped herself with Fiyero, and the mainstream is that Elphaba and Fiyero utlimately belonged together. And while the musical puts a heavy emphasis on the “friendship” between Glinda and Elphaba, anyone who ever watches “For Good” can tell you that their relationship was way deeper than your average best friends or sisters for that matter. Not to mention in “One Short Day” the two fo them make a point of saying “we’re just two friends” “two good friends” “two best friends”. The whole “just friends” has been used to keep LGBT+ couples in the closet since forever.

We also know Fiyero and Elphaba were given a wonderfully laid out relationship which has a very important role in the musical. Fiyero’s relationship with Glinda can be analyzed as what society wants to see vs. Fiyero and Elphaba’s relationship which is something society doesn’t want to see. Perfect vs. Unconventional. HOWEVER, Fiyero and Glinda did have a connection, so much so that Glinda did mourn losing him (to her “best friend” nonetheless). The reverse could also be argued that Glinda was mourning losing Elphaba to Fiyero. OR it could be argued that the two people she loved most ran off into the sunset (albeit, as fugitives) without her and she was left behind. In a polyamorous relationship nobody would be left behind singing a reprise of “I’m Not That Girl”. I haven’t seen the full musical in a while but I think Elphaba gave Glinda the chance to come with her and Fiyero and Glinda opted to stay behind in the public figure position she was given. I could be wrong about that, like I said I haven’t seen the musical in a while, but if I’m not wrong the that decision to stay behind could have all sorts of different analyses for the relationship between the three.

Let’s not forget to mention that Glinda and Elphaba were ROOMMATES! Ok, memes aside, these three had a lot of chemistry and history together that bonded them. For me, one of the saddest parts of the ending wasn’t the “For Good” scene where Elphaba “sacrifices” herself because Glinda knew full well what Elphaba had planned with Fiyero, leaving Glinda as the last one standing and being the one left behind to fix the corrupt government in the land of Oz. She was sad because she knew Elphaba had to stay dead in the eyes of the people if she was ever going to live a normal life after all that had happened. The actual ending of the book is way sadder so I’ll take the canon ending of the musical any day but I can’t help but feel like the life Elphaba and Fiyero started after running off into their official sunset probably felt a little incomplete without Glinda.

6. DJ Fuller and Steve Hale and Matt Harmon

THIS ONE. Never has an audience ever been given the run around about a heteronormative live triangle than they have been with Fuller House. As soon as I saw this on Triad of the Day’s list of polyamorous couples I was just like YES! When DJ chose Steve I was a little skeptical and torn. Both of these men seemed really great and had great chemistry with DJ. I stan the whole decision for DJ to choose herself the first time around and take some time to figure out who she was (especially so soon after the death of her husband). But immediately after that decision the writers went and gave Steve and Matt a great bro relationship. THEY EVEN HAD STEVE AND MATT KISS!!!! Although that was before they became friends. And they were SO into that kiss and we ALL loved it! The fact that it was used for laughs is such a pity. Fuller House could have pulled a Modern Family by creating a positive social commentary on polyamorous families and play off the title of the show (Fuller House) more than they already do by adding both men to the family. Instead one of them got pushed away and to be honest I stopped watching after season 2. I love the wholesome family vibes Fuller House gives out and even the ones given out by Hallmark (which Candace Cameron Bure and Lori Laughlin are major actresses in) but something these wholesome shows and tv networks forget is that you can represent LGBT+ relationships without the emphasis of sex. It’s like if someone were to pitch a gay Christmas romance movie to Hallmark the board would immediately say, “Nice idea, but this is a family friendly program.” My definition of family friendly is a group of adults who are in loving and healthy relationships with each other who all love and take care of the children in their lives. And my definition of wholesome is lack of profanity and vulgar humor and displays honest values (just for the record).

Fuller House really missed out on taking a step forward into the modern age by not making these three a polyamorous triad.

7.Victor Van Dort and Emily and Victoria Everglot

So I’m not sure about this one because I REALLY love how it ended (with Emily getting justice for her murder and then being emotionally liberated to the point she burst into a kaleidoscope of butterflies). Not to mention Emily and Victoria didn’t exactly get much bonding time throughout the movie though I think Emily can heavily relate to Victoria’s overly sheltered life and especially to getting screwed over in the marriage department (although Victoria luckily dodged that bullet). But I feel like that would make Emily (and Victor) all the more protective of Victoria when it comes to those who would abuse her. And maybe Emily could have taught both Victor and Victoria more about standing up for themselves. I know Emily can seem naive and like she doesn’t have much life experience (for obvious reasons) but we’ve seen how strong, powerful, and dedicated she is. I don’t think anybody would be surprised if Emily scorched the earth for Victor and Victoria. Also Victor needs some strong women in his life. I feel like the implications of what these three would have been like in a polyamorous relationship is pretty obvious and has no doubt been written about a thousand times in fanfiction. As much as I love Emily being released from what was tying her down to earth, this would have been a good alternative ending as well.

8. Tulio is dating Miguel and Chel

These guys. Need I say more?

I think I might because while we see the obvious attraction between Tulio and Chel and the fanmade art and fanfiction of Tulio and Miguel, that still leaves out the question of what Chel and Miguel’s relationship would be like. Obviously in the movie Miguel wasn’t a big fan of Chel moving in on his and Tulio’s “bromance” and while jealousy doesn’t have much place in an ideal triad relationship (from what I understand anyway), I think they could make good partners in crime.

9. Flora and Fauna and Merryweather a.k.a the Three Good Fairies

Now these hoes. I’ve heard some dispute somewhere that they may or may not be sisters but I distinctly remember them only being referred to as “the three good fairies”. Older women (fairies) who have known each other for a very long time. But they dead ass raised a daughter together as mortals, in the same cottage for 16 years. We’ve seen said cottage and we’ve seen Aurora’s bedroom but anyone can see that there’s no way there was enough from in that cottage for 3 individual bedrooms or even one room for three twin beds (maybe bunk beds if they had existed in the 14th century). They’re depicted as incompetent characters in Malificent but they aren’t that way in the 1959 Sleeping Beauty. In fact, they’re portrayed as willing to do anything for their daughter. Not to mention the constant bickering of Flora and Merryweather being pacified by Fauna. That is typical married old couple behavior right there. Being 1959 there’s no way anyone was ready for a polyamorous triad of fairies in a children’s animated feature but that’s basically what they gave us.

10. Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington and Jonathan Byers

This is also a hard one. Because similar to Glinda and Fiyero’s relationship Steve and Nancy were together for high school politics. In this scenario Steve is Glinda because he gets left behind to ponder on his life as a shallow popular high school king. But protecting Jonathan and Nancy with that homemade nail bat from that demagorgan is what any good partner would do for his other partners.

The reason this one is tricky is not only because Steve got left behind but also because the relationship dynamic is pretty unequal. Because while Nancy and Steve are together at the beginning of Season 2, it’s clear they’re still putting on a facade that things can go back to normal for them during their senior year of high school. By the end of Season 2 Nancy is officially with Jonathan and Steve is not only left behind but he’s left behind to take care of the kids.

Not to mention Steve and Jonathan don’t necessarily have a good relationship with each other. Although I think Steve has been humbled down in Season 3 after realizing his glory days are more or less behind him. But we don’t get a lot of interaction between these three anymore.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this one besides the fact that I think there’s some potential somewhere here. Especially with the introduction of Robin. I feel like she could be a great sexual awakening for a lot of the characters in this show.

BONUS: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin and just about anyone

It doesn’t have to be Raven. Honestly it could be any character who has a good relationship with both Clark and Bellamy. I think it’s safe to say a majority of the fandom is holding out for Bellark to ride off into their sunset but I think they’d be pretty inclusive to someone else they have a strong relationship with. I haven’t watched the series in a really long time so I don’t know if there is a character left alive who fits that description but the characters have definitely formed a pack mentality of survival and sticking close. I imagine if they (Clark, Bellamy, and their third partner) would have kids they’d have the same protective circle.

#My posts #my ot3

14 notes · View notes

bnhavillaintriozine · 7 years

Text

How to Submit a Good Portfolio

Since public applications will be opening soon, I thought I would make a simple guide on how to send a good portfolio when you apply to zines.

I’ll mostly be referring to art, since that’s what I’m most familiar with, but I’m sure a lot of these points can apply to writing as well.

A lot of my drawn commentary is meant to be lighthearted (and oh so messy), so please don’t take anything too seriously.

What is a portfolio? Anywhere you post your art is technically a portfolio, since you’re showcasing your work to a potential audience. If you showcase your artwork via Tumblr, Instagram, or any other site, you’re free to submit it for review. You don’t need to have a fancy, paid website to showcase your work. Let your art speak for itself.

What makes a portfolio bad? Like I mentioned before, anywhere you post your art is technically a portfolio. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good one. In a portfolio, you want to show us your best work. While instagram may be a good place to show us your artwork, if there are some food pictures, con pictures, memes, or any random posts, it’s a bad portfolio. We don't want to sound harsh, but we would appreciate only seeing your work and not your outside life. That way, we can solely focus on your portfolio.

What makes a portfolio good? Good portfolios showcase completed pieces that demonstrate your best skills and capabilities. If you post your artwork on tumblr, you may have some random content in your blog, but if you have a tag specifically for your finished pieces and best work, please send us the link with that certain tag. It will save us the hassle of scrolling down multiple pages and it tells us you’re serious about the project by showing us your true potential.

What to submit:

1) Submit complete URLs. We want to easily copy and paste your portfolio onto our browser. We don’t want to type out the whole website. We have hundreds of applications to go through, so typing up the website can eat up a lot of our time. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of doing this, but I’m also learning from my mistakes. Typing up the URL (even if it’s as simple as mywebsite.com OR myartblog.tumblr.com/tagged/best-work) only takes a few seconds to do, and we’ll definitely be grateful to you for doing this.

2) Show us how versatile you can be! While we can appreciate the beautiful technical skills from various artists, if you submit a portfolio that only includes headshots and not much else, you run the risk of being declined. We want to see different compositions, interesting uses of color, or cool angles! You don’t need to show us that you can work with 10 different types of media, or hundreds of different angles, but give us something more than just the same pose.

3) Send us completed work. While sketches DO look nice, a majority of zines want to see your completed artworks. In most cases, they are going to be releasing a finished, printed project, so it’s reasonable that we would want samples of what your completed art looks like. By looking at your finished pieces, we can gain a better insight of what to expect from you.

What to avoid:

1) Don’t send us a portfolio full of sketches, as mentioned above. If you have a sketchier / messy style, that’s fine. What you consider as finished is what you should be trying to send to us.

2) Don’t make us scroll through tons of pages. This one applies similarly to the previous point. If your blog only includes doodles and a few finished artworks, don’t make us scroll for so long just to get to the completed stuff. Please save a life and tag your finished works. We will thank you for it.

3) Don’t send us multiple links. Some zines may ask you to link them to 3 of your best works, but instead of sending us 3 different links, create a tag or Google Drive folder with those 3 pieces included. This saves us the time of copy/pasting every single link into our browser, plus it allows us to better compare your work side-by-side. You also get the added benefit of not needing to copy/paste multiple links for your next zine application.

4) Don’t send us a portfolio that doesn’t include humans. This one is kind of weird, but I have received some applications that only feature animals or backgrounds in their portfolios. If you’re applying to a zine that needs certain people or characters drawn, we can’t properly judge your portfolio if you don’t show us that you can draw the subject matter. The same can be applied vice versa. If I made a corgi zine and you send me a portfolio full of humans, how am I supposed to know if you can draw a dog or not? When applying to zines, take note on what they’re looking for, so you can submit accordingly.

5) Don’t submit work that’s older than 2+ years. As an artist, you’re always growing and learning. A lot can change in a year or two. We want to see your recent stuff, since that’s the most accurate representation of your current skills and knowledge.

A Simple Suggestion

1) If you don’t want to tag your work or delete some things from your social media just to show us your best & completed work, make a Google Drive folder that shows us your best pieces. Keep it short and simple by including a minimum of 3 pieces and a maximum of 8 pieces. Make sure the Google Drive folder permissions are changed to shared! (This is very important).

Advice & Final Thoughts

Don’t be afraid of rejection. Spots are usually VERY limited in zines. There’s no way we could fit everyone into one zine (that would be a heavy and thick book, not to mention SUPER expensive). I’ve been rejected multiple times, but you can’t let that discourage you! Just keep applying and continue to improve your artwork. And even if you’re accepted, still continue to improve your artwork! Practice, practice, practice a whole damn lot!

If you know you won’t have enough time to dedicate to the zine, please don’t apply. If you apply and get the slot, only for you to drop out last minute, you just took the spot of a potential artist that actually wanted to be a part of the project and it’s unfair to them.

If you get accepted and life gets too hectic for you to continue with the project, PLEASE don’t vanish and make the zine organizers hunt you down. It will not make us want to work with you again. We want things to be pleasant between the both of us. Life happens, but communication is ESSENTIAL in every situation.

I’m not against having sketches in a portfolio (I have a few on my own website as well), but a majority of applicants can’t afford their own website, so they use free sites like Tumblr or Instagram. These websites don’t really allow you to properly separate your doodles / finished work, so this is why I keep reiterating this point.

Zines are meant to be fun and something to bring the artist community together! Interact with your fellow artists and let’s all have a good ol’ time.

#zine #anime zine #fandom zines #zines #anime zines #update

1K notes · View notes

soovaryit · 8 years

Photo

Meme by @scariest_bug_ever aka my favourite person on the internet. I’m PMSing HARD, I’ve listened to The Climb by Miley Cyrus at least 20 times today, my boobs hurt and I don’t really want to post this but here I go. These are my awkward ramblings about sex and dating that I will inevitably regret, part 1/2. (sorry mum and dad). I think I’m right in saying that ‘dating’ (even that word makes me cringe beyond belief) as a 20 something is a messy and mostly underwhelming experience. Dating apps add a new level of confusion to the mind fuck that is trying to find someone you connect, then throw in chronic illness and you have a really, really fun time. It’s important to say that these are just my opinions and general observations as a cis white woman who and I apologise if it’s boring heteronormative whining, it’s just (some of) my own experience. And I’m not generalising on the male population here either, again just stating things that have happened to me and most people I know. That’s the disclaimer over with. But ALSO bear in mind when reading this that I’m totally into text book romance really. And I want to find someone that I can build a life and a home with and pop out a few kids if my dodgy ovaries let me. I’m embarrassed now. But what I’m trying to say is that this isn’t a tragic ‘love doesn’t exist’ post, just honesty about the seemingly pointless and disheartening situations you end up in when trying to find something genuine with someone. I’m gonna start by stating the obvious, that dating apps like Tinder = toxic for the most part. Obviously it’s something I participate in, and me and my housemate Ali equally love and hate swiping through bios that read ‘Hey is good enough for a horse but I’d like something more constructive ladies’ and ‘£100 if you sit on my face right now!!!’ (I have a folder called ‘worst tinder’ if you ever feel like being traumatised). But on a level, it’s fucking depressing and reduces you to some kind of weird left swiping robot with no regard for humans. I know people who (and have myself) actually made genuine and lasting connections through it and that’s lovely, and one of the ways that the internet isn’t completely destroying humanity. The main problem for me is that we’ve literally been brainwashed into finding THE ONE and the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE in a perfect situation where everything is magical and maybe Ryan Gosling will turn up and row you through a lake of swans or shout at you in the rain or something. Anyway, we sort of flail around expecting to find this probably non-existent person that we have super high expectations of whilst trying to find our focus in life, scrape by on pitiful salaries, plan our future, keep our physical and mental health intact and drink to numb the stress of all these things (if you haven’t gathered yet I’m finding my 20’s stressful guys). Navigating the dating scene when my health and sanity was in ruins wasn’t the best part of my life and I’m sure people were left with less than great impressions of me. I would not recommend doing this to yourself when feeling fragile; despite the part of your brain that cries ‘Put yourself out there!!! You’re young and free!!! Silence your depressing thoughts by drinking excessively with someone you don’t know very well!!!’ From the past few years of dating (ew that word), the thing I’ve noticed the most is how people seem to be desperate to make instant connections. Whether it be sexual, romantic, long term, short term, it seems less about knowing and understanding the people you meet and more about what you do with them or how often they appear in your snapchats or instagram stories. This is bearing in mind that I’ve participated in this strange, toxic world myself and am guilty of things too. Also to be clear I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with dating for sex , which is fun if there is a level of honesty and respect involved (I am sex positive make no mistake). It’s the expectations of dating that matter and the tedious situations that can occur when people aren’t upfront. I’ve noticed a particularly tiring and misleading new game that heterosexual men seem to play which I’ve decided to call ‘the girlfriend experience’ for the purpose of this blog (yeah I know that’s a service offered at brothels but shhh wait). The girlfriend experience is usually wanted by insecure men, desperate for a real connection but terrified of admitting that to themselves. They want a one night stand, or maybe even to see you regularly, and while they’re with you they will unleash a torrent of emotional baggage on you, attempt to exhibit all the traits you want in a partner, do ‘romantic’ things with you … and ignore you when you expect a fraction of attention back. This kind of shit has happened to me and probably everyone I know. Typically, this guy will then go on to sort of ‘lad’ about, assuming women will fall at his feet and returning to you whenever he so pleases. He will never explicitly state that he is just in it for sex, or even that he would like sex with a cup of tea and a nice chat after (which, in every case this that happened with, I would have been down for). He will instead lead you to a confusing point where you see him all the time, but are completely disregarded as a human being outside of sexual situations (and most importantly, in front of his friends). He will discuss feminism with you but show you (and women in general) a huge lack of respect. *side – note, this is similar to the traits of ‘faux feminist man’ and ‘Nice Guy™ ’ but slightly different – they will be explained later.* I realise this might sound like I’m talking about one experience with one person but honestly, I’ve seen and heard about this scenario a million times. Is this what people call a fuckboy? Probably. Either way, if you are one of these guys: get a grip. State your intentions. Surprisingly, the people you're involved with will probably not break down at the fact you don’t get to be their one and only, and will probably just appreciate your honesty, enjoy seeing you casually or say that they’re looking for something more and say bye. Just be a sensible, emotionally mature human because it’s really boring and no ones gonna pat you on the back for it (and if they do they’re as stupid as you). I am 100% going to do a separate blog on faux feminist man (wears the slogan t-shirts, can name one popular White Feminist and becomes deeply offended when you’re not into him when he made the EFFORT to treat women like HUMANS, like god cut him some slack and show your appreciation through some lacklustre sex at least) and Nice Guy™ (most overused phrases: ‘Not all men are like that’, ‘I’m not like that though’ and my all-time FAVE ‘I’m not a feminist, I’m an equalist.’ A MILLION DICKHEAD POINTS TO YOU THEN MATE) because the world needs to be protected from them. Also Nice Guy™ isn’t really gender specific, it’s more a phenomenon that’s risen out of a combination of privilege and apathy towards anyone different from you. Got a bit carried away with the descriptions really but yeah. My really embarrassing conclusion is this: The few times in my short life that I’ve genuinely been in love have been with flawed, messy human beings just like me and not a weird shiny social media representation that you briefly fall in love with and are inevitably disappointed by. I have no advice for anyone looking for someone to be with other than cliché, vomit inducing ‘love yourself first’ type bullshit. What I realistically mean is: - Don’t expect one person to solve all your problems. - Don’t confuse love with having an emotional sponge who will absorb your negativity. - Don’t expect the person you’re with to turn you into a better version of yourself (usually at the expense of their wellbeing). - No one likes facing up to their problems and shortcomings but just do it cos it’s awful but you’ll come out the other side feeling more secure in yourself. - MOST importantly, don’t confuse passion and excitement for manipulation and emotional abuse. Went really serious at the end there but seriously it is easy to do and it’s important to watch out for it. Despite this train wreck of a blog post, these days I feel much more ready to let someone in having spent a few years sorting my own shit out.I look forward to the day I find someone who enjoys Louis Theroux documentaries, getting into bed at 5pm and scrolling through memes as much as I do. Part 2 of this blog will be more focused on the difficulty of maintaining honesty/expectations when dating when you’re also dealing with your own mind and body being against you. HAPPY FRIDAY.

1 note · View note