#that mf is shitfaced

[shiftythrifting]

[str82video]

oouhhhhhggh……….

[m3gahet]

Shhh shhh it’s okay it’s okay they made up

[sistermp3old]

had the most entitled 18 yr old british girl in my hostel room in florence... it was genuinely insane, i mean i do understand the hate brits get now.

[honeyed-disgraceful]

Don't do this to yourself. Don't open those messages. It's been such a long day. Just sleep. Don't listen to him. Don't think.

[greenunoreversecard]

HEYYEYHEY CAN I REQUEST LLOYD (ninjago) HEADCANONS PLEASEEEE (ty :3)

A/N: Ofc!I'll do general character ones, as well as x reader ones :) hope ye likey likey:pp

Lloyd, The Greenest and Geekest mf.

General character headcanons:

Half Japanese half Chinese

His hair is box blonde dye and you cannot change my mind.

Left handed

Severely dyslexic and hands off all scroll reading and just reading oriented tasks to kai.

Def gen z vibes. Like, the others give off more inbetween z and millenial, so they dont always get his humor. And sometimes he uses that to his advantage and "Speaks in code" (uses as much slang as possible)

Has LED lights in his room set to forest green.

Has given himself a smiley face tattoo.

Cried over a dead goose once.

OK, just to preface i see cole as a stoner of Sorts and uses the excuse "it gets me closer to my element"

With that in mind cole let lloyd try it and now sometimes when he is told to unwind, of feels like he needs to take a chill pill he and Cole spark up

in the beginning of his leader ship role, he used to Say;"kick ass and take names" and if things went wrong he had the fuck it we ball mindset, but got better with time. There are still times they wing it, though.

if he isnt in his gi he almost exclusively wears his pajamas (aka a Hoodie, tshirt and sweats)

Vv tired, and now has a raging addiction to energy drinks due to his lack of Sleep.

He used to eat worms as a kid bc he Thought he it was evil.

Has a eyebrow piercing, and wants a tongue piercing.

Wears "reading" glasses, that he should technically wear all the time because he can't see up close and has a astigmatism,, but he says yolo. Zane then make him contacts after he almost ran into a moving blade and got his head severed.

Adhd and OCD, as well as the normal line up (anxiety, depression, cptsd)

Lloyd in a relationship:

Hes very distant in the beginning, it'll take time to warm up to you.

He tends to be orage cat vibes.

On the cat trend, he gets close for a bit Before becoming distant. Going through waves of affection, kinda.

He hasn't had like, any good relationships in his life so he tries to "protect" himself when he feels he gets to close to you, and so he pulls away.

He does the fuckboy face when your sad bc it makes you laugh, as well as That weird dice roll

He actually does the face/dice roll combo whenever he Sees you as he walks over, it's an inside joke now

primary giving love language: acts of service and quality time

Primary receiving love language: gifts and words of affirmation. But physical touch is also high up there.

Also, not expensive gifts. He hates those. Give him a stick you saw on a walk that made you think of him. He'll cherish it forever. And maybe cry.

He will cry.

will make noises at you and expects a noise in response or he'll be sad.

Also randomly bites you. He's a nommer

also sends you memes throughout the day.

As well as random pictures with the caption;"BABY LOK THIS IS S. US IF WE WHERE *insert whatever item here*

Called you babe, baby, love, shitface, asshole.

Expect kind and loving gentle bullying.

Doesnt know how to express his emotions to just expect him to come up to you, lightly shake your shoulders and aggressively say;"I love you bitch.i ain't Evea gon stop lovin you. Bitchhhhhhh" (vine reference)

Sends you .5 of everyone, himself included. He's addicted to Taking them. You will not get out of it.

Also sometimes just walks around in nyas stilettos for fun.

You two have fashion shows.

You also take over the Living room sometimes and build giant ass forts to watch shitty reality tv in and make fun oF The people

Overall, once he realizes you won't leave he's the most funniest loving chaotic guy.

But expect it to take a hot minute for him to realsie this

give him time,, but also have some deep talks..

Let him vent

and for the love of God don't hurt the baby's heart.

Expect inside jokes

[rougepancake]

Duvet

Experiencing the “there’s only one bed” trope with them

Ft. Muhammad Avdol, J.P. Polnareff, Jotaro Kujo, Noriaki Kakyoin, & Joseph Joestar

Warnings: Just fluff. I don’t have it in my heart to make this smutty 😭 Not proofread

MUHAMMAD AVDOL

He knows good and well that Joseph is the whore behind all of this 😭

As soon as he gets to the room and realizes that you’re all set up he wants nothing more than to pass away and die

Like you walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body and he’s like FUCK

The funny part is he got shitfaced like two weeks prior to this and accidentally told Joseph that he would smash you if given the opportunity

So there you are. Standing in front of each other in total awkward silence as you both figure out what to do

“Would you like the bed for tonight?” He asks slowly, shifting uncomfortably as he stand before you. To his surprise, you only shrug in response.

“Nah. I’ll take the floor.” You turned your back to him and pulled a robe over your body, dropping the towel underneath it before looking back at him. “Plus don’t you have back problems or something??”

He stopped. How did you remember that? He had told you that when he first met you, as a way to make conversation, not in any serious connotation.

“R-Right…” He cleared his throat and looks down at you, giving you a stern look before speaking once again. “But it’s not good for you to sleep on the floor.”

“So what? You wanna share the bed then?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“What-“

“What?!”

He instantly regretted saying that I kid you not

Like he’s freaking out BIG TIME and is praying he just spontaneously dies in his sleep tonight

What if he does something in his sleep??? What is he sleep talks and accidentally confesses????

Yeah my guy is having an internal panic attack

Once you guys get around to getting to bed, he stays strictly on the edge of the bed, his back facing you. He wants to give you as much space as possible

But the mf wakes up holding you in his arms

Almost fucking dies because you’re still asleep and he almost shouted

The sight warms his heart though, so he allows himself to stay this way until you wake up

Then neither of you speak of it again

But you both kick Joseph’s ass afterwards

JEAN PIERRE POLNAREFF

WHORE

He did this himself and failed at it so bad you guys

He was like “oh no I suppose we’ve got no other choice but to sleep in the same bed together”

You told him to sleep on the floor

Was genuinely offended but let you win because he thinks you’re hot

“Oh my, look at this situation we’ve gotten ourselves into.” He teased, smirking as he watched you set your stuff on the hotel bed.

“You mean you.”

“Pardon?”

You turned around and glared at him, rolling your eyes at his ignorance. “I know you set this up. Now suffer and sleep on the floor.” You pointed to a nearby corner, smirking as you teased him.

“You’re cruel.”

“Thanks.”

Is a big baby about it and eventually guilt trips you into letting him up onto the bed

Cries with relief when you cave

He snores so loudly that it makes you regret everything

Also cuddles in his sleep and you have to keep pushing him away but he’s like a fucking brick 😭

Rolls over at one point and nearly crushes you but plays it off in the morning

He’s batting his eyelashes and shit when he wakes up as if he slept like a cute little baby

You beat his ass LOL

Never heard the end of it from Joseph

JOTARO KUJO

Kakyoin set him up and he knew it as soon as he walked into the room

You had just gotten settled when you saw him walk in there

And holy shit was he pissed

Or he looked that way

He was projecting his embarrassment poorly

Naturally, there was one bathroom and one bed (which he hated)

He does not like the idea of forced proximity but deals with it because he’s got no other choice

So the question comes up of “do we share the bed or do we both sleep on the floor?” Cause lord knows you’re both too stubborn to let the other sleep on the floor alone

“What’s the plan for tonight?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, his hat covering his eyes as he stood, which made it difficult for you to get a read on how he was feeling.

But his ears were red.

“I was just going to take the floor.” You shrugged, grabbing a towel before you walked over to the bathroom. “I don’t mind.” You closed the door behind you and he couldn’t help but blush at the thought of you just being so comfortable with this.

“You’re not taking the floor. I will.” He tells you through the door, and you scoff in response.

“You’re not taking the floor either then.” You grumble and turn on the water.

He pauses and has this brief moment of ‘so what now’ but once he gets what you’re insinuating he feels his heart fall to his stomach. What if he snores? Or crushes you?? Oh he’s so gonna kick Kakyoin’s ass if he makes it out of this alive.

Stays as far away from you as possible when it comes time to sleep. He’s got a good poker face but GOD DAMN his heart is about to explode

The two of you talk a little until you fall asleep mid conversation, which he finds annoying but doesn’t mind that much bc he’s a cutie

You wind up spooning him in your sleep and MY GOD he loves it

Dude would spend the rest of his life in your arms if he had the option

He sleeps like a rock though, so once he’s out, he’s out

But you wake up to Star Platinum poking your cheek and Jotaro asleep in your arms, which is such a beautiful sight 😩

Makes you wish you had a camera, but you just sit there and enjoy the moment

When he wakes up he makes you swear not to tell anyone about what happened

Secretly hopes that Kak has the balls to do this again

NORIAKI KAKYOIN

He gets to the room first and sets his stuff down on the bed, when you walk in after him he swears he’s going to have a stroke

It’s not that he minds or anything but what the hell???

All things considered, he plays it off pretty well. He’s smooth in the way he handles it and even offers to take the floor if you want him to

All the alarms in his head are blaring but he’s fine dw

The original smooth operator

Refuses to even let you suggest sleeping in the floor or anywhere else- you’re already here so why not just stay?

“So how are we going to do this?” He asks as he sits down on the edge of the bed, a soft smirk on his lips.

“I was going to j-“

“No.”

“Excuse me?” You paused and looked at him, seemingly offended by how he interrupted you.

“Surely it’s not good for your back.” He shrugged it off and patted the spot beside him. “Why don’t we just share the bed instead? That way no one has to sleep on the floor.”

“…fine.”

If you have any form of routine before bed, expect him to join you or help you out

This is his chance and my man is NOT throwing it away

Would do your hair if you asked him to

Probably reads before bed, so don’t be surprised if his side of the room is still lit up after you go to sleep

Subconsciously gives you head pats while you sleep next to him; catches himself and wants to die

At some point he finally decides to stop reading and grow a pair, rolling over onto his side and gently wrapping his arms around your waist

He loves the closeness, and loves being able to bury his head in the crook of your neck

It almost doesn’t feel real to him, but he’s happy that it is

When you wake up he teases you about how you slept like- “you snore” or “I thought you were gonna kick me off the bed”

Unlike the others, he’ll bring it up from time to time just to mess with you

JOSEPH JOESTAR

WHORE (pt. 2)

He set it up himself thinking he was about to be smooth and it went horribly wrong

Like as soon as you see him walk into the room you’re like “fuck”

But not in a ‘omg he’s so hot I can’t even’ type of way it’s more like ‘oh god no it’s Joseph’

“Oh my god!! There’s only one bed!!” He pretended to be shocked, his hands coming up to his face as he feigned surprise. “What’ll we do?!?”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” With the way you said it, it was clear that you weren’t going to accept any other answer.

“Wha- are you sure? It’s not good for your back, or your anything for that matter.” He did his best to argue, but you shot him a glare and began setting up on the floor.

“Yep. I’m pretty sure.”

He’s never felt so defeated in his entire life

Like ever

Bro wishes he was as smooth as Kakyoin 🤭

Keeps hinting at it periodically, but gives up when you stop responding to him

Eventually, you fall asleep on the floor, your face buried into the pillow that you had taken off the bed

He decides to pull a funny and pick you up while you rest, setting you on the bed and covering you up before taking your spot on the floor

When you wake up you have a slight change of heart, but he’s still a whore so you’re not having any of it

Brings it up from time to time and his bullied by Polnareff and Avdol for failing so hard

They won’t ever let him forget

[sovksluv]

GTYU2K - static chapter 1

✰ . pairing - ex!Luke Castellan x italian!fem!singer!reader smau

✰ . summary - dating an ex-frat boy was definitely not the best idea, but now that you’re only a girl he used to know, you’re making tons of money off him and his lying, cheating ass, iykwim 😉

✰ . includes - badassness, italian singer but no specified race, cussing probably, sad luke because he regrets what he did

✰ . series taglist - @sluttysammyy

✰ . pjo taglist - @perseus-jackass @niktwazny303 @st4rzl7

✰ . now playing - GTYU2K by Alexis Munroe

✰ . a/n - im not really sure how artists like talk about their new albums and stuff so taylor swift is my inspo!! also PLEASE if you haven’t, GO LISTEN TO Alexis Munroe (aka princessbri) ALSO!!! pictures do NOT depict the reader!!

✰ . series masterlist

y/ny/ln u make me sick

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larueclarisse FUUUUCK HIM !!! U DONT NEED HIM 🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ridding myself of allllll the bullshit

ׂ╰┈➤ user09 ATE

missbeauregard soooo excited !!! and so proud of you lovie 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ilyyyy mwah mwah 💋💋

seaweedbrainbaddie um where’s my photo creds 🤨🤨🤨🤞🤞

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie yes

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie YES

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln FINE. 📸 creds to @seaweedbrainbaddie (stupid name btw)

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie thank you and FUCK YOU

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th LANGUAGE.

view more

pipesqueak drop the album alreadyyy!! i’m dying waiting 😫

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln coming soon i promise ml 💋

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak not soon enough :(

iamchris_h can’t let bro know i fw this 😣

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse don’t even know why ur friends w such a loser

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h we all make mistakes guys

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse his dad definitely did 🥱

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard CLARISSE.

hater77 she’s just obsessed with her ex like if it’s so bad why make a whole album about him LMFAO

ׂ╰┈➤ user54 ur just mad she’s making money and u aren’t 🤣

larueclarisse GIRLS NIGHT ‼️🥂❤️‍🔥 tagged: @y/ny/ln @missbeauregard @pipesqueak

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pipesqueak i had so much fun !!! 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse WE ALL NEED TO GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN?!?&:8

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak YES !

y/ny/ln holy shit i’m so hung over but at least i look good 🤷‍♀️

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse only Y/n Y/ln can get full on shitfaced and still look good 😫❤️‍🔥

seaweedbrainbaddie omg guys why wasn’t i invited :(((( 💔😖

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln you’re a boy. it was girls night.

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse you’re like 8??

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard you would probably just complain the whole time

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak you can’t even drink

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th you’re annoying.

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie babe you weren’t even there ??

view more

itslukecastellan she looks so pretty

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse boy gtfo

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h Luke i can’t even defend you anymore 🤦🏽

y/ny/ln just posted a new story

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse YESSSSS IM SO EXCITED 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

y/ny/ln my biggest supporter 💕

view reply from missbeauregard:

missbeauregard DISSIN HIM AND MAKING MONEY!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

y/ny/ln thank you babyyyyyy <3333

view reply from cast311anbackup:

cast311anbackup i miss you

y/ny/ln leave me aloneeeee how many mf times do i have to block you.

y/ny/ln i’m not the girl that u used 2 know🤷‍♀️

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© sovksluv 2024, please do not repost or translate my work!

[base0h]

Hey Evou!! I was surfing YouTube and came across vr videos of people playing scary games (mainly Fnaf which I will vouch for is TERRIFYING in vr I was literally shaking the last time I played it 💀) so I came to ask, how do you think the monster trio + Kidd and Law and whoever else you want, would do playing Fnaf, Help wanted in vr? Thanks in advance!

a/n - hi anime!! omg pls I’ve played horror games on Roblox with my 8 year old cousin and I was literally shaking while trying not to cry 💀 tysm for thé request! I hope you’re doing well 💜💜💜💜 I’ve never played fnaf and I don’t think I ever will 😭

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, I bully kid

- if you thought you knew curse words? No you didn’t

- “FUCKSHIT- STUPIDASS MF-!”

- “SHITFACE! YOU LITTLE FURRY PUSSY-!”

- … I cant think of anymore

- he sounds like this and literally breaks your eardrums

- “NO IM NOT SCARED Y/N SHUT UP!”

- “You need to hold my hand?…”

- “Tch- just shut it.”

- *literally squeezing your hand to death*

- he’s screaming at literally the tiniest noises 😭😭😭

- he’s hid behind you a couple times on accident too

- literally not scared??

- “HAHAHAAA- y/n this dude’s funny! He has a funny hat! Oh I died. This game’s boring- let’s play Mario kart!”

- “OH MY GOSH THERE’S PIZZA!”

- “why does it say I died again?..”

- “Y/n there’s a duck staring at me.”

- “ITS NAMED CHUCK BAHAHAHAH-!”

- you’re absolutely shocked- this man was not afraid in the slightest

- he only kept dying bec he got distracted by all the little items around him

- “Can I turn lights on? It’s dark.”

- “that’s the whole point Lu.”

- “That’s stupid- how can you see anything?? Oop something just appeared?”

- “y/n is this a furry game?”

- “are you a furry?”

- 💀

- while he’s wearing the headset he has no sense of his surroundings so he’s broken a lot of things 😭

- that vase? In pieces

- your wooden coffee table? Knocked over

- the chair? Moved at least 20 ft away

- man has the audacity to take off the headset and look at you with a confused face

- “y/n what did you do to the room? Hehe! You have weird hobbies.. I’m gonna go grab some snacks!!!”

- … you’re about to punch him so hard that even nami can’t compete

- about to shit his pants

- visibly shaking as he’s clutching onto your arm

- could only play for a couple minutes before he had to cuddle you for a couple hours

- “uh y/n- is this to test my bravery because I promise there are better ways to- GAHSHAUBEIDBSIDBISBEIFB-!”

- literally trying to punch the air in front of him😭

- he only agreed to play bec Zoro challenged him saying that obviously “I’m braver than you- twirly eyebrows.” “HUH?!”

- oh it was on

- both of them lost

- Luffy won

- if you think you’re bad at games- compared to smoker? No you’re not

- “Y/n what does this button do?”

- “I’m stuck at the pause screen.”

- “I cant read that fast how the hell do you pause it??”

- pls he can’t understand what the fuck he has to do in the game

- literally about to punch the TV when the characters jump outta nowhere

- “Y/n it’s biting my toes?!”

- “What is this game?! Why does it look real?!”

- literally his blood pressure is going to skyrocket

- frantically waving his bulky ass arms around in attempt to try and escape and not die

- going to have a stroke please give him some water

- you’re going to have to hold his hand and pat his back for a while after 😭 he’s lowkey traumatized by screens

- he’s also one of those guys who can’t figure out how tf to turn off his phone flashlight 💀

a/n - sorry anime I did random characters 😭

[green-alien-turdz]

started autistically vibrating the second i read your answer lmfao. i was thinking cartman or tweek myself tbh, those bitches are both just PRIMED for it imo. i tend to lean towards a lot of abduction experiences being some kind of extreme reaction to other earthly trauma, but that really doesnt seem to fit every account so idk what the fuck is going on. god though dude *puts on homemade MUFON lanyard* i am SO SO SO CURIOUS to hear about your/your fam's weird experiences if you ever wanna share, i saw some questionable shit when i briefly lived out in Ohio myself. gone back and forth on the legitimacy of it all over the years, one of those things that's like, the more you research the less you Know.

Okay bro, I gotchu. I NEVER get to talk about this shit so imma fuckin go wild

Ight, so legit everybody in my mfin family got some shit to say- I tried to pry my brother's experiences outta him, but he is dogshit about answerin questions. Just know that he got some stories from when he would go campin n shit (even though he has funny ass stories from when he was outta his mind fucked up, there's still a lotta sober experiences he's got too)

1st, my dad: his stories are kinda vague too bcuz we don't talk, but from what he has told me in the past, he has 2 moments in his life he was certain was alien activity. Both of these take place in Texas (but when he was still livin in Ohio, he did say he'd seen some weird shit). The first is when he was movin to Oregon, n he was drivin late at night through Texas. Not a soul on the mfin road n he's in buttfuck nowhere. He said that there was this huge fuckin flash of light from above n his truck completely shut off. Like, the mf was still rollin at the same speed, but nothin it was like the car itself just kinda switched off (no engine, no lights, no music, nothin). He's tryin to start it up over n over, not really sure what the hell was goin on- so he's tryna pop the clutch seein as he was still movin. But this shit would NOT turn the fuck over. Until after he was gonna give up, slowly brake n just pull off to the side, but before he even attempted, the truck starts up again n continues on like nothin even happened.

His second experience I don't remember as well, so sorry about that. If I fuckin recall my dad n his band were just finishin up a show n were just chillin behind the bar smokin. One mf points out that there's this weird fuckin plane over some buildings on the horizon. Like, it just wasn't movin right? He said it seemed to be movin in a really slow zig zag pattern (but it wasn't like a drone, this this was way too big n it was the mid-90s). They kinda brush it off bcuz it's late as hell n they're all pretty shitfaced. But he said that it lasted in that area for about 10 more minutes, just movin back n forth until he looked away for a minute n it was just gone.

He's also told me about how on his late night drives in dead places, he's seen a shit load of random light infront of him shootin into the ground, n this is especially fuckin freaky to me bcuz I got a very similar thing that happened not that long ago. It's explained in my individual experience.

My mom n grandma: My gma might have some more, I feel like she had told me somethin. This one is backed by both my mom n my gma (although my uncle was here too, he just doesn't associate w/ the family so maybe he'd have some input). My gma used to drive from across the whole U.S. ALL the fuckin time when my mom was growin up, like they always had these roadtrips bcuz my gpa was an abusive pos n they'd escape back to my greatgrandparents place. So they're in the more of the desert states (like New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, I just can't remember which). My mom is probably about 10 or so. It's full on daylight, unlike every other story I got, this is the only one where it is broad fuckin daylight out. There's nothin but desert for miles, it's just a long beige stretch. So when my mom saw somethin just hoverin in the sky, it stuck out like a sore thumb. My mom calls it out, which causes everyone in the car to just watch it. My gma doesn't stop drivin, but she slowed down quite a bit, n she says that thing just fuckin sat there. Like, no movement whatsoever. It didn't look all that much like a plane, but they couldn't make out defined details. All they knew is that there is this plane adjacent aircraft just hoverin in the middle of the desert. They'd never seen anythin like it, despite all of them bein raised on military bases n seein a lot of kinds of military aircrafts (which is why this was ruled out). They kept drivin off but my mom said she just watched it through the window as it became smaller n smaller until it got too far away to see- but that shit never moved. It just remained hoverin in that same place.

Ight, Imma get into my experiences now, I got two with people n one that's on my own (that one is long as SHIT).

The first one is with me n my sisters (home in Oregon): This is around 2015-2016. It's the middle of the night in late April. We were chillin bcuz it was one of my sisters bdays n we were just talkin n watchin the stars. Now we live right next to an airport, so there are a shit ton of planes that go over, even late at night- but you can always tell those bcuz of the red lights n they're usually not that high up yet. We were just talkin tryin to find constellations bcuz it was a clear ass night. At some point we see these two lights. They're contained in these circular shadows WELL into the sky, but we could still make out a vessel that the light were on. 4 light on each circle. They're goin up n down the night sky back n forth completely parallel, so it seems like they're together. At first we were losin our shit, not able to explain what we were watchin. After some rational thought, we were like 'mfer we see satellites in the sky all the time, that's probably what these are' bcuz they were fuckin zoomin through the sky. We even see satellites pass over, but we kinda notice that they move n look a LOT different than the lights we were watchin. But every satellite's different yknow? That is until these mfs, the completely parallel movin in tandem lights all of a sudden both separate n go fuckin zoomin away from one another in the opposite direction. No longer up n down, but left n right. And then they're just fuckin GONE. Like, they sped off n never returned to the place they'd been for like 20 or so minutes. (Now I am willin to admit, that very well could be satellites, but it's still weird as fuck).

Here's one with me n my dad: This is around 2019. We were out in Utah, middle of the desert. This time it's probably closer to like 10-11pm. We were kinda just doin our own thing, sittin, thinkin about shit. When outta the fuckin blue, we notice this weird ass aircraft. Like, it low flying, large enough to be a fuckin cargo plane (doesn't look like one though), n movin super slow with a BRIGHT fuckin light slowly phasin in n out, illuminatin the craft. We're both losin our shit watchin this bcuz neither of us know what the fuck we're lookin at. Now this this was low enough that, if it were a plane, we would've heard it. But it was movin at the same speed which planes always appear to be when they're thousands of feet into the sky. But this was maybe 200 or less feet up. It was a really thick, aircraft that was slightly triangular in shape, but still pretty bulky. We couldn't see any engine or shit like that. We are legit fuckin shoutin like mad men, chasin this thing. At some point we try to call over the rest of the family, but we're slowly losin our visual on this thing. Everyone else is tryna look in the sky as my dad n I make a mad dash tryna keep an eye on it as it went behind some structure. But the second we got to a place where it should've been seen on the other side, based on its flight path, this thing was fuckin gone. Like, nowhere in the sky. It was like it was never there. To this day not sure what the fuck we were watchin bcuz we followed it for a good while, just for it to vanish.

Okay, now onto my final encounter (warning, this is a LONG mf bcuz it just happened in January, so it's fresh on my mind): I had decided to drive out to Sauvi island at like 1 am because I really wanted to go out and watch the water. But it was like the foggiest night in existence. It was during that period in January where every night was covered in this thick, heavy fog. I wasn't gonna let that stop me though. Even if I could barely see the road and almost crashed like 5 different times, I was determined. The drive itself was kinda ominous, but shit didn't start gettin weird until I actually reached Sauvi's. The second I reach the island, something just feels off instantly. I mean, no one's on the road of course, it's late, it's foggy. But I mean, it was DEAD. There was an alarming amount of roadkill everywhere (like fresh roadkill), and the entire island reeked of fuckin death, skunk, and mold. So I keep fuckin driving and just get the sense that someone was following me, like on my ass tailing me, but there wasn't any other cars or nothing. But I had the window down and swear I could hear some shit close to me. I'm driving and manage to miss my turn off to the beach. Here's where shit genuinely starts getting weird. Lights. Unexplainable lights ALL over. Now if this was a more populated area, I would assume some of this was street lamps, but the island doesn't really have that many (they have them in front of some buildings, but the roads are lightless). I kept seein "headlights" coming around turns that didn't exist. And when I should've been passing them, there was nothing there and the lights were gone. Okay, weird, but maybe it was my headlights reflection on the fog. Then I see fuckin taillights. I get confused because it looks like a car going up a hill, and I brushed it off before realizing that it was a wide open, flat road, and there was no hill or car in sight. I watched the lights turn into nothing and they were gone. At this point, I'm freaked out, but I'm still finding my way back to the beach. I manage to loop back around to the entrance of Sauvi's so I can take the right turn this time. When I tell you that the smell is worse and I even notice more roadkill. I would've seen any other cars on the road, but there was fuckin no one. And I know damn well that I wasn't the one who hit them. But I brush that off because I'm every white person in a horror movie. Not too long after, I saw the final unexplainable light I'd see that night. There was this small-ish, but abnormally bright light just kinda bobbing up and down infront of this post. I assumed it was some weird reflective thing, but as I approached it, it went up and then shot into the ground- the light completely disappearin into the ground. After I saw this, the feelin of bein chased was at a 100%, like I was stressin. I finally took the right turn, and there's this one fuckin shadow in the fog that I'm TELLING you looked like this tall fucking figure walking about. I legit stopped dead in my tracks to watch it, but this feeling of dread came over me, and I sped off. I finally make it to the beach, but I think I stayed for maybe 5 minutes or less? There was an extremely menacing feeling. Like it was THICK. I couldn't see the water it was so fogged out. I mean, it was beautiful. But it truly felt like I was being watched. There was little to no sound until I heard coyotes fucking EVERYWHERE. Like an insane amount. I head back to the car and they seem to shut up. I absolutely dipped the fuck outta there.

Now it is important to note with Sauvi's that there is maybe a supernatural element into that. Seein as Sauvi's, like most of Oregon n the U.S. was home to Native Americans (Chinook Indians specifically) n as we know, mfs just weren't allowed catch a break (to put things lightly). So there is more than likely some unrest in the energies n life of the island.

But yeah, there's a small collection of experiences in my family. I'd LOVE to hear your shit from Ohio. That place has some strange shit goin on there, like genuinely. Everytime I went to vist my dad's mom, that place just feels like somethins goin on there

[fuckmeuselessdegen]

i am once again thinking about whitney and my pc daiki together 🧎‍♂️ this time, it is how i imagine their first kiss together.

just to be very clear at first, i know that canonically whitney will try to actively fuck/kiss your pc, and it’s very easy for him to do so. however, for the sake of pc character/lore building, i like to imagine that it went completely differently :)

it starts off on a sunday night, right after drinking with whitney at the pub. daiki had gone to the pub that night to sell off some stolen goodies to landry and couldn’t help but spot whitney across the way, sitting at a table with other delinquents and staring at him. daiki is actively trying to ignore this mf but whitney doesn’t relent on the staring, so he decides to approach him anyways because he knows whitney’s gonna get on his ass about this.

he approaches the table and basically cue the pub event with whitney where he tries to get the pc shitfaced and see who can handle their liquor better. they take shots and chug so many bottles of beer that by the time they’re out of the pub, the two of them can barely keep each other up.

so daiki and whitney are drunk as all hell. regardless, whitney walks daiki back home to the orphanage, tripping over both of their feet multiple times in the process. when they walk up to the front door, whitney slurs through his words.

“where’s my thank you for walking you home, huh? you’re lucky i didn’t leave you on the street to get jumped.”

daiki sort of stands there awkwardly, swaying on his feet and rubbing the back of his neck. he looks down at the ground, almost in a submissive way.

“thanks, i guess.” he mutters, his words also slurring and voice uncharacteristically soft. he doesn’t have his usual defiant bite to his words.

and at that, something sort of snaps in whitney’s brain. the two of them have had such intense sexual tension before all of this had happened. each time they fought, all the manhandling and skin on skin contact only fueled a strange sort of lust that was brewing inside of them. and so seeing daiki suddenly so passive was simply… cute. too cute.

whitney can’t help but grab daiki by the collar of his shirt and pull him into a rough kiss. their lips smashed together, daiki is caught completely off guard and is unsure of what to do. a part of him wants to push whitney away, but an even larger part of him is REALLY into it. he decides to kiss back, letting lust and desire fill his head.

they bite at each others lips and knead their tongues together, all while pawing at each through through their clothing. after a few minutes of just making out, daiki pulls away, heavy breathing and gazing into whitney’s eyes.

“… do you want to come into my room?” an obvious proposition for more of… whatever the hell they were doing. and with a grin, whitney obviously accepts.

the two of them make it towards daiki’s small, cramped room and spend the night together in his even smaller bed, making out and groping at each other like horny teenagers. there’s no penetrative sex just yet, only just the two of them jerking each other off and kissing each other sensually, but it’s enough. by the time they both cum, daiki is slumped back in the bed, exhausted out of his mind. he slips into an easy snooze while whitney decides to take this opportunity to slip out of the orphanage while he still can.

sure, maybe at least one of them (coughdaikicough) will regret it in the morning. he’ll wake up in the morning hungover and have a very foggy idea of what actually went on last night. by the time he actually remembers, he’s flushed red with anger and embarrassment, ready to confront whitney and start another fight.

thus the cycle repeats. they fight enough to the point where the air is basically dripping with sexual tension, and they release all that lust in some way 😌

[kneelingshadowsalome]

i am about to be so annoying this is going to be so long for no good reason but that's just how ted talks are ig

after all those asks about könig and the way he reacts to praise or a girl just being nice to him... i can't help but think of simon in a similar scenario, like toxic/yandere/etc simon maybe who doesn't yet have a partner but there's this new girl on their team. and his dick is hard a little bit maybe (not 100% most definitely not)

she doesn't think much of complimenting him and does it occasionally because in a way she looks up to ghost. he thinks it's annoying, he quite honestly finds most things about her annoying and especially the way she acts around soap. how they giggle chortle cackle all day long and how close they seem.

in his head, in his dirty crumbling and ill mind he justifies it like this: she seems to look up to him, someone so cold and professional yet the her behaviour around soap is the opposite of anything she claims she wants to be. so it makes sense to be this annoyed with her, right? right...

it's almost as though she is being annoying on purpose, so it's no surprise that at some point after she's in awe and all excited because of simon's kill he just. straight up barks something really angry at her. maybe to shut up and start doing something that proves that she actually deserves to be on their team if she finds simon's work so great.

ghost is somewhat able to control himself and what he says, and what he tells her out loud is sadly nowhere nearly as bad as his thoughts and what he actually wanted to tell her, but it does shut her up. finally, some peace is what he thinks to himself since she's stopped talking to johnny as much too after he said that to her.

his annoyance is replaced with something he doesn't really understand though. instead of johnny she started spending more time training with price, he doesn't think too much of it until he overhears her complimenting him. simon gets mad immediately but it's such a weird kind of anger, the type he doesn't know where to put so it just keeps growing into resentment towards her.

simon now acts like a cat that was begging to be let outside and 5 minutes later scratches the door and meows in agony because it wants back inside.

nothing he does during their training or missions or anything else gets any sort of praise from her. no matter how violent or careful he is, how fast or slow and methodical he acts - it's all nothing to her.

this is the part where !!!!! i have no idea if he would actually do something about it. in my ill mind id love a scenario where simon basically just gets drunk one day for no good reason, and the girlie just finds him miserable and shitfaced at his place. if he is drunk enough maybe he finds her on his own and basically does start acting like a cat that is begging to be let inside and get his version of head scratches (like "omg simon you're like the hottest killing machine everrrrr and your gun is soooo big <333 you're so good at this can you train me privately????")

maybe he just stays in his room and jerks off sadly while thinking about how she used to actually look up to him and how he'd love it if things just went back to normal so that he could show her his big gun or make her cum with his hands still covered in someone's blood

can't help it chief i like my men crying while they're cumming

toxic simon would be a horrendous man. one second he thinks you're annoying the next second you're gone and he's crying while holding your panties bunched up close to his chest, right where his heart is, in a "i am a widowed wife my husband just died in a war" kind of way. mf treats it like a heart locket. and all that spectacle happens because you left like he asked you to. does it matter to him? no!!! come back and kiss him right now!!!

Ooooh my god I'm gonna give you my own Ted talk of PRAISE because you had me already at the "his dick is hard a little bit maybe". The way he watches her being more casual with Johnny, how it annoys the everloving shit out of him? God... (Stupid jealous dickhead I love him) Seriously, he's appalled when she runs to Price and starts complimenting him after Ghost just told her to shut the fuck up?? And then this fucker gets mad because she doesn’t give him attention anymore???

AAAAH shut up and take my money!!

“simon now acts like a cat that was begging to be let outside and 5 minutes later scratches the door and meows in agony because it wants back inside”

PUHLEASE I need AIR

and Ghost jerking off sadly – I’m crying, I’m screaming at the very thought of this brooding dumbass fapping alone, too stubborn to swallow his pride and fix the situation.

“can’t help it chief i like my men crying while they’re cumming”

ME TOO c'moan please I just. I’m done. I sort of wanted to ask if I could add this to my request pile even if requests are closed… add some dialogue here and there and describe in detail how he’s fisting himself in various states of anger and sadness and how he sheds two (2) tears as he cums. But I don’t know because??? This is like a masterpiece already? ❤️❤️❤️ (also I can't take take more requests because of reasons 😭)

Thank you for bringing this to us; this was yet again one of those Ted talks I’m going to hit like and leave a comment that says "Brilliant. Every word was priceless wisdom. Such an inspiration."

(But I kinda did want to see him scratching at her door too while having thoughts of "Can I have a crumb of pussy please? Oh and also could you worship me like you did before, when I was your hero and your GOD >:( ?" But because he can’t voice those thoughts, he’s just gonna fuck that worship out of her because he’s stupid like that and a fool when it comes to emotions.

But then again would she be a brat and not give it to him so easily? Would she be the one who breaks him?? The smutty angst possibilities in this are endless! Please anon tell us the rest of this I’m begging you, who cries and cums first when they finally SMASH?)

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Falling For Each Other

Red Leather and Running Mouths x Danger's Bitch x Soda, Cigarettes, and Broken Glass x Broken Doll x Bitch Barbie Cooties and Golden Fountains x Fuzzy Gazes and Bruising Grips x Choking on Truth x Wilde and Free x Hated Together

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: dom Dom, sub Col, fighting, insults, drug use, drinking, hangovers, getting outed, MF hate, the f slur, boys being dumb, teasing, edging, blow jobs, anilingus, falling, blood, sexual accidents, boys being dumbasses, nervous Dom, d/s undertones, breaking shit 🚬 rating: explicit

There it was, the truth was staring them in the face one morning when they woke up. A million alerts on their phones and a hell of a hangover from the night before. They'd gone out and partied, needing to cheer each other up and maybe one too many beers had them making out in the back of a darkened club. They hadn't meant for it to happen and the moment Dom saw it his heart dropped- a picture (or ten) of the punk slowly pushing Col's hand into his undone pants. Fuck.

What worried him most wasn't just the fact that they were exposed so boldly, he knew he could calm his pet down about that but Megan of course used it to her advantage, breaking her promise. 'I knew from the beginning but he lied so well and I loved him so much. I just hope he doesn't hurt Dom like he did me.' The back of his tongue tasted sour and the longer his boyfriend didn't speak the faster his heart beat.

They'd been in a tenuous place for a week, the song releasing had brought them closer but Kells was still so worried to hurt him. He knew the man might keep his feelings quiet just to further protect him but he'd beat it out of him if he had to. "At least we look good, yeah?" He hummed softly, his cock twitching at the sight. There was nothing incredibly explicit, it wasn't like his dreaded Billboard picture with Billie Eilish, Colson had slipped his hand into his pants and behind his shirt so nothing was showing. But their expressions… If he didn't know any better he'd say he almost looked in love with the brat.

"I don't like 'ow you look like the bloody top. Why'd I let you 'old me like tha'?" He huffed softly, annoyed that everyone would think he was the bitch.

Finally there was a deep breath and a sigh. "You were shitfaced. Besides, no one would believe this anyway." His tone wasn't as teasing as his words were and Dom swallowed a whimper as the man tossed his phone down hard and pushed himself out of bed. It automatically felt colder without him and he tried not to shiver. Maybe he just felt colder.

He watched as the rapper grabbed a joint and a lighter and made his way to the bathroom. When the door shut between them it felt final but he wouldn't allow that. Not again. Not now that they could finally be honest. He growled low and picked up a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep drag before opening his phone again. He fought himself to make a long post about them, he knew better than to act too soon. The door opened just a crack and something small flew at him and smacked him in the chest. He jumped but whispered his thanks to the closing door when he found a prescription painkiller. Yeah, that should take the edge off.

He took it gratefully and swallowed half the water in the glass his boyfriend had left for him the night before and as he scrolled through his texts the back of his mind was screaming to fix it. Colson hadn't let him say anything against Megan before and while she was keeping her word he dealt with it but now? Of course she used what should be a moment between them to further herself. He was just thankful a few of the comments were seeing the truth. Some people were asking if she knew, why had she tried to steal the man. Some were even calling her a homewrecker. If they only knew.

Gavin had tried calling him, Tom's name was in all of his alerts, any way he could be reached, Adam just sent a string of what appeared to be obscene emojis in context with a thumbs up at the end. His friends were special. "Turn it off." His lover shouted from the bathroom and he huffed softly. He sent one text out before doing what was asked, he had to at least let Tom know he was alright. He'd deal with everyone else.

"Wha' makes ya fink you can tell me wha' to do?" He asked, rubbing his temple and taking another drag. His eyes felt fuzzy and his mouth dry but at least the oxy was soothing the pounding in his head. He had to admit the pharmacy his sub kept was helpful in some situations. "Would you get your arse out 'ere? You know I don't like talking like-"

"Like what? You don't like giving me a hint of fucking privacy?" The bastard interrupted and his brow raised even though his eyes stayed closed.

"Careful luv." His voice warned, there was an edge that promised he was dancing on Dom's nerves. He knew whatever their problem is wasn't about his fucking lack of privacy. Well, it might be about them not getting any but Kells didn't want space from him. If anything he craved to be closer. Always.

"Fuck careful. You wanna be careful now? After you fucking outed me?" Even hidden behind a wall Dom could feel the moment Col tried to swallow his words but they were already out. He could hear the man trying to rush through pissing to get back to him. He still couldn't help the anger that built in his chest. How dare Kells blame it all on him?! Before he could stop himself he was gripping his empty water glass and throwing it across the room to smash against the wall keeping them separated. The way the stream paused before resuming even harder would have made the boy laugh but he was far too upset.

"You wanted to crawl under the bloody table if memory serves, at least I kept you from looking like a bitch!" He snapped, hissing when his angry movements made his cigarette ash on his belly. He was trying to swipe it off as the door slammed open and his man stalked out to stare down at him. The cloud of pot smoke followed him but thankfully Colson flipped on the fan. They might be fighting but the man was always careful with Dom. Always.

"I still look-" He paused, finally catching himself before the wrong thing came out but it didn't matter. The implication was clear.

"Like a fag? Tha' wha' ya scared of luv cause let me fucking tell you. Let me let you in on a secret-"

"Don't-"

"Don't tell me 'don't'! You is one Colson. The great and badass Machine Gun Kelly renown for 'is pussy game is a great big bloody fruit. A bottom even. A sub. You begged me on ya knees since day fucking one! You me bitch Cols. Why is it so bad everyone fucking knows it?" Dom's voice was raising as he pushed himself out of bed and stood to face his lover. The moment he was exposed Colson paused, his gaze dropping to his half hard cock. He couldn't help it, he was always drawn like a moth to the flame.

"But… why? I don't like anyone else." He huffed softly, hip checking the doorframe. He was still upset but the fight was draining out of him. It always did when he saw Dom naked.

"Fine, maybe you pan or summat, I don't care. I don't fink most of your fans give a fuck. You know wha' I been seeing? Support Cols. Your true people sticking up for us. A lot of 'em are calling 'er a 'omewrecker. Saying 'ey called it from day one." The punk smirked, he honestly wondered how it took them as long as it did.

The way the rapper's face calmed and almost went sad hurt his heart. The man had been so careful of him for too long. "At least no one thinks you're queerbating now huh?" He tried to tease and Dom laughed but it was a soft sound. They were scared of the unknown and this made their whole futures that. Colson walked closer slowly until he finally reached him and dropped to his knees, wrapping himself around his dominant.

Dom sighed and put his cigarette out before he tangled his hands in his boyfriend's hair and pushed him against his thigh. "I got you. Always got you." He soothed, scratching his blunt nails through the messy blonde locks. He could feel him trying to kiss over his skin and his dick started to fill at the attention. His brat had talked back to him though. "No. Go work your aggression out first. You ain't taking it out on me." He snapped, yanking rough at the man's scalp.

Colson whined, nuzzling his stubbled cheek against his lover's cock, his lips teasing over his tight balls. "I can work it out just fine right here."

Dom's answer was to push him back hard with his foot and to leave the room with his phone in hand. He had to punish his pet somehow and he needed to check in with his friends. Kells was left whining on the floor, his cock hard and leaking against his thigh. He wasn't surprised exactly, he knew raising his voice would get him in trouble but Dom rarely edged. He hated it.

Thirty minutes later Kells was hanging from a bar in his gym, his muscles burning from overuse. He was drenched in sweat and feeling far better than he had. His Daddy always knew exactly what he needed. He made it to forty upside down sit ups before the boy wandered in as naked as he had been before. He walked around as the rapper kept going and kept an eye on him but he could feel himself being watched. "One-hundred." He lied and his lover giggled, shaking his head as he finally made his way closer. It was certainly an interesting angle but Dom was near his dick a lot.

"Don't get down." The punk purred, his fingers tracing designs in his sweat. He couldn't help but shiver though he tried to obey. When the kid wrapped his fist around his shaft he almost slid off but he tightened his hold and felt his blood fighting where to rush.

"Dizzy." He panted, licking his lips and trying to blink the sweat from his eyes. Everything was fuzzy but with Dom standing over him he blocked all the light. The rapper had to rely on scent and that was all his boyfriend. The heady musk of dried cum was still stuck to his skin. He never cleaned up the night before.

"Good." Dom purred, stroking his lover. If he stood on tiptoe he could suck him off but he didn't want to give him too much too soon and that might actually make him fall. "Ya know, we could turn 'is into a lovely dungeon." He hummed, looking around. He could still remember the sex room Col had in his old house but of course Megan hadn't allowed that. Bitch was more vanilla than his mum's baked goods and twice as dense.

Kells whimpered, trying to put his arms down to ease the strain in his legs but Dom pinched his fingers between his toes until he stopped. If this kept up long he knew he'd pass out but it certainly wouldn't be the first time. Dom would take care of him. "You're all red." He teased, staring down at Col's face and the rapper laughed.

An idea struck him, he knew he wasn't really allowed to make decisions or ask for things, especially when he hadn't been a good boy but he hoped his lover would allow him something. "Spread your legs?" He was drastically thankful for how long he was as the boy surprisingly did as he asked. He could feel Dom's confusion as his arms pushed between those plush perfect thighs. The punk squeaked when Kells pulled him up off the floor. The palm around his cock tightened almost too much but after a moment his Daddy seemed to get the point and he wrapped his legs around Col's ribs as tight as he could.

Colson couldn't breathe but for a moment he didn't need to, his palms groped rough at pale freckled globes and his tongue searched out Dom's sweet pink hole. The flavor was musky and heavy, sweat and old cum and whatever just made Dom, Dom. A soft whimper escaped him as he tried to bury his tongue deeper but the boy struck, curling his mouth around Col's cock and that was fucking it.

Dom realized a moment too soon that his act of need was a mistake but he couldn't do anything about it. The man's legs slipped from the bar and they went tumbling, thankfully his ankles protected the rapper's head but his dick speared deep in the boy's throat and he choked hard, pulling off and spluttering. "You good?" The man rasped, his voice muffled between soft cheeks and Dom nodded but he knew he couldn't see. Fuck what a mess, but Kells didn't care, his boy could destroy him and he'd still beg for more. "What do you need?" It was a gentle beg and a way to show he was handing control fully back to his dominant but for once Dom just giggled and shook his head.

Normally he'd be embarrassed after something like that, normally he'd need to prove he was top. Instead of doing any of that he turned around and hovered over his still pink lover. "Oof, you bite ya lip on the way down?" He hummed, tracing Col's mouth where it bled.

"Probably more than that." He sighed, smiling up at his boyfriend. He was sure he was a mess but he didn't care, not when Dom stared at him like he was.

"Mmm, you fink blood works as lube?" He teased, he was sure some of it was painting his ass but he'd been allowing his man inside him far too much lately. The brat might be forgetting his place. "Suppose tha's why you ain't meant to work out naked."

Colson laughed, he was sure Dom was right but they'd been doing a little more than working out. He still hoped they would do more. "Why'd you turn around?" He pouted, making the boy smile.

"Wanted to look at you." He shrugged, flicking his tongue over the crimson covering his lover's mouth. There was a phrase floating around in his head and it turned his stomach to sharp winged butterflies. No matter what people thought he wasn't exactly soft, he couldn't be, not with all he'd been through. Still though there was something about Colson that had him thinking pretty words and slow sex. "Let me make love to you?" He asked before he could lock the words down and he fully expected the bastard to laugh.

Instead Kells froze under him, his blue eyes blinking fast for a moment as if he had to process the sentence. It sure as shit wasn't something he ever thought he'd hear from the boy. He wanted to ask what the game was but with Dom's heavy gaze on him he didn't think there was one. "Like… how?" He whispered, suddenly everything felt soft and loud at the same time.

Dom grinned slowly, he could feel himself shaking but Colson was trembling too. "Like me cock in tha' tight lil ass of yours like every night. Jus'... Slower. I fink." He hummed. Honestly he was just as confused by what he wanted. It wasn't something he'd ever even asked a girl, he didn't know what the fuck it entailed.

"I've never-"

"I know. Me um- me neiver. Wanna figure it out? Wiv me?" He stumbled over his words, for the first time he wasn't completely sure of himself and he tried to cover it up by standing up and reaching a hand down for his man.

"Yeah? O-okay." Shit, they were both nervous but neither knew why. The air felt electric though and every breath felt like fire. "Take me to bed?"

Author's Note/Tags: @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @manicpixiedreamb0y @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤

So this wasn't as rough as this fic normally is but I thought I'd let them get a little closer. I'm not even sure if these boys can make love but 😂 we'll all find out together ❤️‍🔥🚬

[bugmomwrites]

So there was some drama cd somewhere where Kurapika got absolutely shitfaced and tried to teach an English class

This is…horribly unrefined. I typically beta my other stuff and edit for days, sometimes weeks, but new year new me I’m just posting my incoherent discord ramblings and casting them into the void

I’ll revise and add a read more in the morning but it’s like 3am here

Anyway here’s some drunken Kurapika, in which he loves you a lot but is too damn nervous to say anything

TW for puking, drinking, generally poor life decisions

There was some fancy ass party at the Nostrade mansion and y’all were invited. It was a black tie event, and Kurapika, while not technically on duty, was still expected to be on his best behavior

He’s normally so composed but by the time you arrive you see Melody encouraging him to talk to you, he seems to glance over to you, flush bright red, and toss back the rest of the champagne.

Why does he seem so nervous as he approaches you? He’s stumbling a little bit, but you don’t seem to notice, or you’re too polite to say anything.

At some point Leorio brings you a drink and asks you to dance; you initially wanted to ask the blonde but he looked like he was deep in thought about something, so you didn’t want to bother him.

A few songs in and Kurapika is downing another full glass as Melody warms him to slow down before he’s marching over to you and just straight up tells his friend that he’s gonna borrow his partner for a few songs

Jealous mf just needed some liquid courage

Anyway

You guys catch up and he seems to be a bit more openly expressive. You’re not really in any place to call him on it though, a few glasses in and you’re both firing jokes back and forth like a game of ping pong.

He’s not bad at ballroom dancing even if he is a bit tipsy, but you accepting after he swooped in on Leorio kinda set into motion “alright, I HAVE to confess tonight” bc if other people are noticing someone as lovely as you, he needs to hurry it along. Months of pining is nothing without action.

You’re both drunk and giggling as you twirl around, and you’re thoroughly enjoying this side of Kurapika. You don’t even notice you’ve moved off of the dance floor and off to the side a bit, but it feels more intimate away from the large crowd so you can’t say you really mind too much. Even as you almost go tumbling when he tries to spin and dip you the shared laughter is contagious, and now is the perfect time to confess.

The setting is perfect, you’re both smiling and laughing, you look gorgeous in your dress, and he put on his best suit for this- Leorio even lent him one of his favorite ties for the night. There’s something magical about the way the chandelier lights glow upon you, not that you didn’t already.

The time is now. He’s had enough booze to push his inhibitions aside for a brief window of time, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away. He’s leaning in closer, squeezing your hand gently as he opens his mouth-

And then promptly throws up

Yikes

Bro has never been so mortified in his life, and when his brain finally catches up to him he’s frantically apologizing and hoping that no one saw that

If you’re disgusted (as you should be), you don’t seem to show it on the outside, opting to wordlessly guide him to the washroom instead. He’s not sure if he feels better or worse that you’re not scolding him, but all you’re thinking is you need to get his drunk self out of sight before his boss sees

Thankfully, Melody notices and is quick to distract the few people nearby before they can notice the spectacle

The door is pushed open and you two make your way over to the sink as your face gradually shifts to one of concern. You’re bundling up paper towels and running them under water before turning to wipe his blazer off.

“I’ll be fine. I can clean myself up. Your boss is here, I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Even if you’ve already had a couple drinks and aren’t as sober as you should have been, you pull yourself together enough to put his needs first. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons he fell in love with you. There were plenty of others, sure, but this had to at least be in his top ten.

His blazer was cleaned and with that you went to wipe your own clothes off. He certainly did a number on you, but you wanted to make sure you got his first seeing as how his boss was nearby.

As much as he wanted to fess up, talking clearly hadn’t done him a whole lot of good tonight. Perhaps the alcohol was clouding his judgement, but his booze addled brain urged him to take direct action instead.

You were finishing wiping the rest of the mess off your skirt when you suddenly found yourself caged between the sink and a familiar pair of arms you had just been held in not even half an hour ago.

“Can I help you?" You giggled nervously at the proximity and determination on his bright red face, but it tapered off soon after his eyes shifted to a matching hue. You had already taken your heels off and set them aside to make them easier to clean, so if you didn't already feel small enough under his gaze as you were halfway up from your crouch, you certainly did now.

He simply reached behind you, grabbing some more paper towels to run under the water and wiping the missed spots on the front of your dress off for you. He had to make a conscious effort not to let his hands linger too far up on the bodice. The lacy neckline, while classy, still sent his mind into the gutter as thoughts of him marking you up filled his brain. Drunk or not, there was no way he’d get lumped in with a pervert like Leorio.

He was looming over you like a hawk, and you nearly short circuited as he went to lean in. Common sense rushed over you just in the nick of time though, the smell of booze on his breath too potent to ignore, and you quickly put a finger up between you before he could close the gap.

“I think you’re lovely, and I would be more than happy to kiss you later. But keep in mind you did down about six shots before throwing up on both of us. Alrighty?”, and with that, you ruffled his hair as you pecked his forehead. He groaned in embarrassment, burying his head into your shoulder.

“ Please don’t remind me…”

Gn guys if you enjoyed this pls reblog and help a bitch share her content

[apoptoses]

“Bold of you to assume either of them are willing to go to bed alone after Daniel is turned” precisely!!! There’s no way they’re letting go of each other now. Specially after Daniel moves into Trinity Gate, he obviously has a room of his own and has probably had it for years, perfectly decorated and neat in case he ever decided to drop by. So when they finally reunite he’s like “I mean it’s nice and all but why tf would I want a room of my own? Scoot over mf” and ever since that night Daniel’s been the unmovable pilar of the Armand bed pile. If you want to cuddle Armand you’ll have to cuddle Daniel Molloy and you will like it (they all do tbf after all he’s the one with the PhD in kissing and snuggling dead things). Also the proposal headcanons I’m deceased 🥹 Armandaniel shotgun Vegas wedding fic WHEN 😭 every single one of these is gold and I’ll cherish them forever tysm xoxo DA ♥️♥️

Dungeon anon 🥹

Exactly! Everyone has their 'own' room in Trinity Gate. That place has more bedrooms than a hotel, even Armand is hard pressed to remember how many are down in the basements. But Daniel's room is more craft room and than bedroom, and sometimes when the world is too much he goes in there to space out and be by himself. As far as sleeping goes you're totally right. The one and only time Daniel passed out in 'his' bed was when Armand interrupted him crafting, and things got handsy and well- neither of them made it back to Armand's bedroom by sunrise.

"the PhD in kissing and snuggling dead things" this is so accurate, I die. Sometimes Lestat shows up and tries to wedge himself in between them to be middle spoon, just because he enjoys being a pain in the ass (and he knows Daniel will humor him for at least fifteen minutes). But he's always punted back over to his side in the end. Too sharp of elbows, he's too warm, Daniel wants his man back.

I also like to imagine that after Daniel is turned and everyone is getting along at Trinity Gate they end up back in Vegas again. And like Ross and Rachel on Friends these ex-lovers-turned-back-to-lovers-again get shitfaced feeding on some drunks and well-

It happens again. Chapel of Love, 24 hours. It's not Elvis but a Dolly Parton impersonator that does the deed for them. Even Armand is clearly off his face in the photos on his phone. It's fun, it's silly, it's like replaying their past.

Except the next evening when they've sobered up Louis points out that same sex marriage is legal now, so this time their shenanigans are officially real. That's a folded up marriage certificate in Daniel's pants pocket, not a souvenir.

And that's how Daniel Molloy made an honest man of the most desired vampire in existence. The line to be Armand's secondary husband or wife is that way, folks. Daniel got there first ♥

[floorpancakes]

forbidden doumeki official art that is quite frankly terrifying . who the fuck is this why is he doing that

no seriously he scares the everloving shit out of me. it does explain a lot though. i said this before but he gives big im da joker babey instigator of drama uncanny valley vibes. if this is the origin of their dynamic that explains a lot about how if this was real watanuki would be having totally normal and justified reactions. like dropkicking him in his terrifying, harrowing little face

honestly my big conspiracy is that in actual watanuki's head sometimes he sees doumeki like this when he's really mad , like this is what his delusion vision says he is. and he sees this fucked up little guy in his brain and chooses violence but zoom enhance and the actual guy is just kinda . there vibing in the back LOL idk this realisation only hit me a few months ago and it broke my brain im still haunted by beta doumeki if I had sleep paralysis he'd be my old hag he would be the most shitfaced mf of all time ...thinking