hydrodoesstuff · 1 year ago
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I am so very normal about watcher!impulse
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amongussexgif · 1 year ago
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Howdy folks. I’ve said I’d make a rant about this for a while. It’s time.
Let’s start with the basics. Mesopomatia is the earliest known human civilization. Humans existed before them, but this was the first “city”. They also made the first writing. This rant also kinda covers Sumerian tuff, because the two groups had a bit of a merging.
You know what transgenderism is. You’re on tumblr dot com. Chances are you are a transgenderist yourself
Transphobes often say that transgenderism is a “new concept” and that “nobody was trans 20 years ago”. For the record, you don’t have to go as far back as Mesopotamia. There’s Greece, Egypt, Hawaii, and tons of others I fail to remember. But yeah, we date back to The First City.
The First People believed in many gods, one of which you’ve likely heard of. Today’s subject: Inanna/Ishtar, The Queen of Heaven (I’ll be calling her Inanna, as it’s her original name). She was the goddess of Sex, War, and Justice. The most notable things she was believed to do were changing people’s genders and being an absolute queen. Like fr she slayed-
Anyways, the “transgender power” as I’m gonna call it because it's funny, is well documented in poetry fragments, with the direct quote “To turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man are yours, Inanna.” This was written by Enheduanna, Inanna’s High Priestess from Ur (Ur is a city).
Speaking of Inanna’s Priests and Priestesses, they were actually known for their androgyny. Poems and Dedications to Inanna often included them, with the direct depiction of the goddess transfer-ify-ing them. It’s unknown if these and the Gala are the same priests, so I’ll add a little space and talk about them for a bit.
The Gala were priestesses for Inanna created by the god Enki (who is really fuckign cool for non-trans reasons (might talk about him sometime)) to sing for her. Mourning Rites previously sung by women got taken over by the Gala, and as men joined, they adopted ALL societal roles and expectations of women, switching to female names and singing in the Sumerian eme-sal dialect, which was reserved for women trying to render the speech of female gods. The Gala looked after the sick and poor, and were highly respected by the rest of the Mesopotamian peoples.
Time to talk about the Pilipili! They were a group of cultic performers who worshiped Inanna, with the name coming from a person named Pilipili. They were raised as a woman (according to Mesopotamia’s gender roles), and were blessed by Inanna and given the name Pilipili. Inanna gave them a spear, an item associated very heavily with masculinity “as if she were a man” and they are only referred to as “The Transformed Pilipili” from that point on. “Spear'' is also thought to have phallic meaning here, which is even more directly saying that Inanna trans’ed Pilipili’s gender.
How about we move beyond the cult on Inanna now? A statue (or technically statuette but honestly whatever) found in the city of Mari depicts a singing woman. But wait! The name of the depicted person is “Ur-Nanshe”, a masculine name! This might mean nothing, but honestly, you’d assume transgenderism too if you met a woman named Steven. The statue has a soft face with traces of makeup, and it’s got tiddies!
A statue in the British museum (which for the record should not be in there. give it back) has a label translated as “Hermaphrodite of Inanna”. Hermaphrodite has a different meaning now, which a different translator, Cheryl Morgan, recognized, stating that “person-man-woman” would be more accurate. We don’t know specifics about their gender, but clearly this was a person outside of the gender binary who was not only significant enough to have a statue of them made, but also assumedly well-liked!
So, to summarize, Ancient Mesopotamia viewed genderqueer individuals as:
often blessed by the Queen of Heaven
transgender-ify-ed by said Queen of Heaven
well respected enough to be priests
said cult of trans priests was also said to be made by another god in devotion to Inanna
significant and well-liked enough to have statues of them
sounds like we should take some notes from our ancestors, huh?
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amesliu · 1 month ago
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so disclaimer: I haven't read the book yet so I don't have the full context + i'm not USAmerican so I dunno how relevant this would be to pjo
Also so sorry for the essay... do ignore this if you don't want to go into this further! I just get rambly about cultures and cultural differences haha
In my family it really depends on who the guest is on what is acceptable behaviour? I guess? Closest to percy and annabeth would probably be my sister and her long term boyfriend (5 -ish years, they're early twenties). He isn't expected to help out, but he's allowed to and does regularly help set the table. In this case he also eats at my parent's at least twice a week. Sometimes he and my sister cook, sometimes they clean etc. (he also helps us host at birthdays sometimes! like offer other guests drinks that kind of stuff) Different example: close family typically helps out in the kitchen. My grandma refuses to let us do anything without her help no matter how insistent we are that "You're our guest! Let us do the work!" she'll just tell us that it would be rude of her to let her (grand)children do all the work while she sits and watches. We also always offer our help when we're over at family. (my mom's best friend, who she has known since college, is the same way btw. She also insists on helping us and we always offer our help when we are visiting her and her family) Now, if the boyfriend's parents came over to eat dinner my parents would not let them lift a finger. Same with neighbours, colleagues and other more casual acquaintances.
If I went off of my own experiences and no further context i'd say that rr is trying to show that percy, annabeth and their friends are very close
I totally get that and I agree it’s context sensitive. HOWEVER. My issues with this scene are as follows:
1. Percy appears to be not doing much of anything in this scene? Like the page I read is just him standing there narrating the scene…….? It literally says “Grover and juniper were setting the table which is usually my job” maybe I’m wrong and I’m missing context but that’s what it read like. But this isn’t rlly my main issue with the food stuff so oh well
2. I have a huge contention with Rick’s push to make Annabeth into a character that is like. Good at and interested in cooking and food handling in general. His justification for her learning to cook appears to be “she’s smart and so ahead in her classes she just decided to” which goes back to my point that I made on my side blog about the poor representation of Annabeth as a “smart adhder”. It feels like a retroactive and lazy justification for a character trait that he has already decided for her when her upbringing and personality has given me no reason to believe she would ever need or care to learn to cook. Her doing so could be an interesting way to explore the way her priorities shift as she gets older as Jules discussed on my post about sohaes last chapter but it’s not being used that way and when he randomly starts pushing his one female character in his main trio to start cooking when both his male characters have a much better characterization for it it also feels somewhat misogynistic and “mommy-ifying” with how heavily the cooking focuses on Annabeth being so so good at cooking
I don’t want this to come off as me saying a female character who cooks is inherently misogynistic but this sudden addition to her character says nothing and does nothing when it can and should. Either she remains not good at cooking and we see food as a medium for care and affection with Percy and Sally as caretakers expecting nothing in return or we see her learn with Sally as a symbolic representation of her gaining smth she lost as a kid. But learning to cook in a class bc she’s just so smart and good at school is… not it.
And even then. What if she does learn in an academic and STRUGGLES with it. How does that interact with her pride? Her personality? Etc.
I think this is a huge issue I have with a lot of the ideas he brings up where they could be incredibly interesting things to explore but he will never take it there so it just feels random. We’re not at a point where we’re supposed to be teaching an audience about a character we’re at the exploring their depth stage and he just. Doesn’t act that way.
3. A cultural issue I guess but my partner would never be allowed to do the work at my parents house but we are sort of a fist fight for the bill type of culture so 🤷‍♂️
Side note: the tangent about Percy being like “wow I’d never think to ask if salad was okay for juniper” followed by the immediate tangent about how hard he’s thought about the feelings of fish and whether or not he eats them was like… something. Idk what but it ticked me off LOOOL
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my-silly-little-guys · 3 months ago
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OPEN ART CONTEST!
As you may know, I’ve been writing a story known as Hidden Beneath. It’s gotten very little traction so far (which is to be expected), so I’m going to host an art contest in hopes that it can get a little more attention!
And even if this contest doesn’t get a lot of attention either…well, that means that any competitors will have an even higher chance of winning :)
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I will have three categories, with a designated winner(s) and prize for each one!
General (2 WINNERS) (PRIZE: Fully-Shaded Bust Shot)
I will choose two winners for this category! This is the basic category, where I’ll choose the art pieces that are artistically my favorite- whether it’s your artstyle, shading, posing, etc!
Storytelling (PRIZE: Fully-Shaded Fullbody)
This is the category for pieces that display specific scenes, moments, or relationships between characters! An animatic or animation would fall under this category too!
NOTE: AN ENTRY HERE SHOULD INCLUDE TWO OR MORE CHARACTERS!
This can be two characters talking, a demonstration of the relationship between two characters, a scene with two or more characters, or a comic that retells a scene from the book!
(The two art pieces below would be examples of things that would qualify for the minimum in this category! They are by Kanpekii and Alora respectively!)
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OC (PRIZES: Fullbody Art Piece of OC, Remade Ref-Sheet of OC, Featured Cameo from OC!)
Make an OC for this world, following the rules given! You have full creative control over them, and if you win I will recreate a reference sheet for them in my style, do a fully shaded fullbody art piece or them, AND give them a cameo in Hidden Beneath!
RULES:
-You may enter multiple times!
-You may draw any character from Hidden Beneath!
-Aside from OC submissions, do not clarify which category you’re going for! No matter what you intended your piece to be, you may end up winning something else :)), especially if you didn’t win the storytelling section but I really loved your piece!
-Creative interpretations are loved and encouraged, even if they aren’t completely canon compliant! Seeing everybody create diverse things makes it feel like this world has a fandom <3
-Nothing suggestive or NSFW!
-Tag me in the post!
-You may include characters that haven’t been featured in the canon yet!
-You may draw art of an AU you’ve made, or species-swap characters (whether it be animal-ifying them or even Realm-swapping them!)
-Shipping is fine, so long as both characters are of legal age, not related, and not biped x quadruped! Even if I don’t ship it myself, it would make me happy to know that somebody was invested enough in my story that they started shipping two characters <3
-To me, PASSION is just as important as SKILL! Even if you aren’t a professional, if I can see that hard work went into your entry or I really like the idea you’ll have just as much of a chance!
-You don’t have to have read the story….but it’s greatly appreciated and may be helpful!
OC RULES:
-Your character can be a Draquen, Raptor, Cordelian, Florimori, or Feallis! (Note that I will likely be less partial towards Feallis, since they’re the least unique to this world). You may NOT make a dragon or Whimsical for this contest. (I don’t have enough info for dragons and I have too many Whimsicals!)
-You MAY make a hybrid, in which case they can be PART Whimsical!
-You don’t have to make a backstory / info for them, but you’ll definitely get bonus points if you do! The more attached I am to your character the more likely you are to win >:3 Design isn’t everything!
THE DUE DATE IS AUGUST 25th!
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strifesolution · 1 year ago
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“Well, look at that!” Evan announces, throwing his hands up, and even the mountain itself seems to have its attention grabbed, wildlife falling eerily silent, the gentle breeze snapping to flat air. Daithi’s heart drops, like prey who’s just been spotted by a predator. He knew this was what to expect, yet wasn’t actually ready for it. “Felt guilty enough to come back?” “We don’t want any trouble, Evan.” Brian starts, but stops talking when Evan raises his gloved hand. “Oh, you can save the pleasantries.” He takes his boots off the table one at a time, standing up and strolling towards them. “If you weren’t wanting any, you wouldn't have come.”
had the absolute pleasure of commissioning @kingtheghast to fake anime screencap-ify a scene from chapter 26 of five rounds, six cylinders and it came out FANTASTIC, they did the atmosphere of the scene and Evan's character so much justice <3
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art-i-sticks · 2 years ago
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Okay, I'm a silly Billy and I LOVE the Excnaged Fate AU atm so now I GOTTA ask quite a few questions (feel free 2 take yr time answering!!!!)
What's up w the SoG in this AU? Are they a thing? Do they still worship Garmadon because HE destroyed the Devourer? Do they plan to like, use the Oni Masks to bring his Oni side out of him?
Does Garmadon get baby-ified in s8? Does he reunite with Ray in s7?
Do the ninja still go to the First Realm?
How does Garmaon react to Morro?
LET’S GO!! THIS IS A FUN ONE! TY SM RAINE!!!
This is a long one soooo answers under the cut!
1. What’s up with the SoG in this AU? Are they a thing? Do they still worthship Garmadon because HE destroyed the Devourer? Do they plan to like, use the Oni Masks to bring his Oni side out of him?
Ding ding ding! I can answer every part of that question with a yes!
At the beginning of season 8, The SoG attack Garmadon in an attempt to capture him. They fail, terribly. As a result of this the ninja team and Garmadon are extra alert of the SoG.
I imagine the team probably tries to protect Garmadon through the season, since they've figured he’s targeted. This is despite the fact that he’s like, one of the most powerful people in Ninjago atm. I just find it a wholesome way for the team to show off that they care about him, plus it potentially makes for some hilarity considering they’re trying to protect the son of the creator of Ninjago, someone with heritage from both creation and destruction, a man who was a warlord in the past and has actually killed a god before.
With all that said the SoG…
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Do eventually get him.
2. Does Garmadon get baby-ified in s8? Does he reunite with Ray in s7?
Garmadon actually does not get baby-ified, so I’m glad you asked! I don’t imagine Garmadon treading many of Wu’s steps in s7 because, while Garmadon fills Wu’s role as master to the ninjas, they’re not the same characters. One of the things that is changed because of that, is that no master is lost in time in s7.
With that, yeah, Garmadon reunites with Ray and Maya in s7!
Also, baby Wu is in s8. Yeah, that’s how we bring him back. I couldn’t keep him dead forever, I’m too much of a softy for that. I may be a Garmadon fan first, but I'm a Spinjitzu Brothers fan second.
3. Do the ninja still go to the First Realm?
Yeah! And they got one extra!
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Lloyd is in shambles.
4. How does Garmadon react to Morro?
Terribly, as one may expect. Season 5 is really not Garmadon's season when it comes to having a nice time.
Garmadon is powerless to save his son. He can't fight Morro, because then he'd be harming his son; but every second he does nothing, Lloyd is suffering. It's a perfect concoction of torture for him. One I intend to exploit thoroughly.
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widebrimmedhatsblog · 3 months ago
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just saw ur masterpost....please please yap about the plane crash AU omg???
I would LOVE to! I am SO glad you asked.
I don't know if you've ever seen the TV show Lost, but it's a plane crash AU inspired by that type of plane crash (minus the gigantic religious allegory that Lost comes with, and with a handful of other pretty major changes to make it more fourth wing-ified). It's almost definitely the next long fic I'll be posting once nights is done in two-ish weeks, but I'd like to actually write this one ahead of time, or at least get a few chapters ahead of myself so I can post on a schedule. it just seems like having a day every week I post would be fun for everyone, if I can make it stress-free.
Also, it's called "Train wreck!" because I think that's funny. Since I've been given permission to yap, I want to add that I literally took notes during the plane rides I was on this summer to make the actual plane crash as realistic as possible, which was honestly surprisingly relaxing?
I do have chapter one done already, so here's a fun little snippet from that!
Violet Sorrengail hates planes. It’s really a natural hatred: a plane crash took her brother and her father, and so, she’s never trusted the airplane since. She avoids them when she can. She’ll make her trip by car, or bus, or train, or even boat before boarding a plane of her own free will. 
Everyone important in her life knows this about her. It isn’t a secret, and so, Violet never expected her best friend’s father to force her onto a plane. She expected Colonel Aetos to love her more than that, but evidently, he doesn’t. No, the only thing Colonel Aetos loves is his secrets, and he’s willing to bring Violet to the brink of insanity in order to keep them. 
And another, because I can't resist:
He tries to hold her hand, but she’s clinging to the armrest with such strength, he can’t manage it. His hands are sweaty, which is almost as ridiculous as the way he murmurs, “It’ll be alright, Vi.” His voice is so low, she struggles to hear him. It would have been better if she hadn’t heard him, actually. 
It won’t be alright. For him, maybe, it might be, but not for Violet. 
“No, it won’t,” Colonel Aetos replies. He sounds resigned about it, impartial either way. “Don’t give her false hope, Dain.” 
“Dad!” He leans across Violet’s body to hiss, “She’s worried about a plane crash.” 
“Move,” Violet snarls, bucking one of her thighs up into Dain’s chest. It doesn’t do much damage, but he still recoils, realigning himself in his seat, where he belongs. 
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the-imitation-blog · 2 years ago
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Spencer Reid’s above average intelligence actually set him up from a young age for far more trauma than the average kid.
It’s always the intelligent ones who are expected to be able to figure things out on their own, always the intelligent ones who end up parenting the incapable parents or raising themselves, always the intelligent ones who are overlooked by the majority of adults because they are assumed to not need the same level of support as the kids who don’t have that understanding of the way life is.
This leads these kids to be over achievers to try and get some of the attention they never received by just being a kid, and then when they reach adulthood they’re burnt out from trying so hard to be noticed so they just fade out of friendships, relationships and even job opportunities. They isolate themselves because they have learnt the hard way that the only person who’s ever truly there for you is themselves. And Gideon leaving in almost the exact same way as his father just solidified this.
Yes, Spencer is brilliant and could probably work out almost anything he put his mind to, but sometimes even the brightest most talented people need a little help, a little consistency and some consideration of their feelings and emotions.
We need to stop adult-ifying high intelligence in children and treat all children with the same level of care, boundaries and expectations as the rest. Spencer may be a fictional example of this phenomenon but he’s not some extreme example that never happens in reality, he’s the norm for a lot of smart kids.
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kaelio · 2 years ago
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please don’t fn kill me but Marius de Romanus and his overall relationship with Armand 🔥
Bonus round: David Talbot x Marius as a ship🔥
Thank you and please enjoy your day
my aaaabsolutely hottest take is that the fandom is insanely selective about what problematic stuff they think "counts". everyone's got a set number of things that they accept from the canon and things they don't. they have things they de-rice-ify and things they don't. e.g. I have NEVER seen the insanely pornographic description of lestat eating the children in the iwtv novel ever brought up because it's gross so we all pretend it's not real. I think it's fine people do this. I don't even think people SHOULD try to have a consistent read of the vampire chronicles books. I think that if we did, it would be an indictment of them and not a compliment. For example, truth be told, I hate most pixar movies. hate them. any film that is getting EXACTLY the same audience reaction from virtually every single audience member at exactly the same points with surgical precision might be an excellent commercial product but it's meaningless art.
however, it should never be an expectation that there are any components that people "have" to regard in a specific way, and especially for this specific property that is asinine. YOUR way of chewing over them and what YOU think about them is what matters. if it gets YOU horny enough to bring yourself to completion. there should be no fucking tribunal where we all get together and decide what anyone else has to think. I like Devil's Minion because it's fucking sick. I think gabrielle eating polar bears (canon as per Armand) is fucking funny in a way that I wouldn't think some random asshole shooting polar bears is funny. i think it's funny the fandom never thinks about how louis burning the fuck out of antoine was pretty fucked up from antoine's point of view. i think it's fine louis/claudia is canon in the books because she IS an adult, and no number of derivative creepy hentai visual novels will change that, and in fact it's cruel to consider book-Claudia to be a child because for her it's basically a medical condition.
I do however think that a lot of people in this fandom 1) haven't really read many older books and 2) maybe haven't read many books at all. hell, maybe 3) haven't even read these books. some of the interpretations strike me as extremely strange, particularly because i'd argue some of the canon events are worse in a context people sometimes don't seem to be aware of. or every once in a while someone will say something about one character and then be convinced e.g. khayman is smol cream puff and I'm like... hmm. hmm. sybelle for all intents and purposes apparently basically owns living benjamin and i'm not sure i've ever seen anyone worry about it beyond the intense discomfort with the benjamin character overall
anne rice loved historical fiction (which also, I feel inclined to add, was a lot harder to write in the 1990s than it is today because we have information resources that are just INSANE compared to then--you should see what a doctorate looked like in 1995 vs 2022). there are conceits intrinsic to historical fiction. you don't have to like them but people who read historical fiction have a tacit understanding of them. I actually read far less historical fiction than I read nonfiction about history--and not just american or eurasian history. (in the court of the jiajing emperor circa 1547, the 300+ new concubines were between 11 and 14). 'the past is a foreign country' in-fuckin'-deed, not just in terms of the periods the books describe but the books themselves. i just posted an article about a family that took their kids on a sailing trip around the world's oceans in the 1970s and it is UNFATHOMABLE to someone today. and that's living history. when my grandmother took my dad and his siblings to tunisia in the late 1960s, my dad disappeared for 3 DAYS. he was 14. and his mom barely cared, assumed he'd show up again at some point, which obviously he did. my other grandmother's cousin was beheaded in the yard in the 1930s in a rural area and back then crimes like that just were not solved. those things are living memory. you just have to decide if you think a 2020s lens on a 90s book about the 1790s means the content is disqualifying and if the answer is "yes" you are wholly entitled to that, but it is not a requirement for any other segment of the readership
i didn't care about marius at all when i read tvl/qotd/tva in... whatever fucking year a million billion years ago i read them the first time (in catholic school lmao), but at this point i'm stubbornly contrary about it because I think most of the reaction is knee-jerk and reflexive, predicated on tumblr's paper-thin politics, and especially crazy in the sense of what the show now "has" to do. the show didn't even make louis a white slaveowner, thank god! they don't "have" to do shit with anyone. for accountability? FOR ACCOUNTABILITY?? are you high?? accountable to whom, for what, when bandying about with these blights on humankind? anyway the showrunners can change anything they want. they might even have bianca not sleep with an "underage" armand, ooohhhh something i've seen mentioned all of fuckall number of times (thats different because blah blah blah blah blah). and there doesn't even seem to be a downside to turning benjamin or sybelle, so people going on about that part like... yeah, there really should have been, but "should have been" is also kind of antithetical to how this specific canon operates. these books are so fucking FRUSTRATING! but what happened, happened. engage with your canon, but be able to separate out canon-canon. this isn't something that's unique to me and these books, it's most of what killed my interest in my last fandom. take whatever read you want, but learn to differentiate what the canon did and what you would have preferred it did.
armand's relationship with marius is very very complicated and very very interesting but for virtually none of the reasons the fandom pays the remotest attention to. rice was really good at balancing out why people became vampires and what that means and then how they avoid the intense attrition associated with the lifestyle and their various absolutely crippling personality flaws and mental illnesses and that is all over how those two interact. and guess what! as soon as you filter them into "good vampires" and "bad vampires" you have broken the entire world these characters exist in. you have thematically broken it. you have irrevocably and irretrievably broken what makes these books interesting.
david is boring. actually my ship of choice for marius is probably thorne. i think there's a ton of meaty thematic shit in there.
e: as an aside, in life you will have to learn to navigate and negotiate within power structures. they are not going anywhere. the other obsession with perfectly equal relationships etc-- you can idealize that, and that's great. the books aren't about a world where that will be the situation between virtually anyone, and it's rarely if ever the situation in reality either. this is more a loustat comment but it bleeds into everything.
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oopsallmabari · 1 year ago
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✨Self-Rec Tag Game ✨
tagged by @gaysebastianvael! very cool tag game, prob should take time to appreciate my own work more often lol
Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.
Something you absolutely adore
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ooh i think it'd have to be this pic of daithi--i've done a few portraits of him and i like to see how the way i've drawn him has evolved!
2. Something that was challenging to create
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digital painting continues to be a bit of a bear for me, and i remember plugging away at this for ages. hoping to get better at it in the future :)
3. Something that makes you laugh/smile
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muppet dorian is probably the silliest thing i have ever made. but i like him. still have plans to mupp-ify other DA characters. someday.
4. Something that surprised you
this one is kind of difficult! but i guess i'll link to my longfic with arya for this one, which i can't remember if i ever actually linked to on this blog lmao. it's surprising to me that anyone has read it if i'm honest and that i wrote that many words. it's also on hiatus rn as i am. fully rewriting it (snippet of the rewritten opening under the cut at the end).
5. Something you want other people to see
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time to plug some of my oc work! zeke is an oc of mine from a personal WIP--currently in the very early drafting stages of an interactive fiction of which she is a cast member. she's one of my oldest ocs so i like to make ppl look at her. (this counts as a fanwork! i can be a fan of my own work!)
tagging w no pressure (sorry if you've already been tagged before lol)! @creaking-skull, @triflingshadows, @dreadfutures, @lavellander, @glamfellens
and a preview of frostbitten blades, the redux:
“You don’t have to leave.”
Malik says it with that kind uncertainty she’s grown so accustomed to, that she expects of an older brother. Sturdy yet soft, truthful and earnest, but tapering off at the ends. They’re seven years apart. It’s a lifetime. They’ve been worlds apart for so long.
He’s grown into this role so well, the thin, gold circlet nestled comfortably within his dreadlocked hair, the purple embroidered jacket shaped perfectly around his broad shoulders. All of his fineries are well-tailored. He must actually sit for his measurements now. He didn’t as a boy. Wouldn’t sit still unless Mother was hovering behind him. Now—he waits, holds meetings at the head of the table with quiet assurance, smiles warmly at visitors.
Currently, the smile is small, but it’s there, rounding his chestnut-brown cheeks. He doesn’t want to force it—she’s barely been at the estate, at his home, for a week. It’s the longest they’ve seen each other in seventeen years. She almost left earlier, without a word of goodbye, until the twins snuck up on her. Malik knows this. He hasn’t said anything, mercifully.
She’s so bad at coming up with responses lately. Malik knows this.
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auroralix · 10 months ago
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✩ fairly odd christmas - part 2 ✩
read parts one and three here!
pairing: chanlix. this is still chanlix. this will always be chanlix.
summary: single and lonely on christmas, felix makes an offhand wish to have someone to love. the man who appears in his kitchen the next morning to make that wish come true is the last thing he expects.
song: fictional ~ khloe rose
this section’s word count: 5.6k
warnings: i don’t think there are many ?? ummmm the boys(tm) are in love so if you’re homophobic gtfo, the tiniest bit of angst if you squint bc felix is insecure, also felix is still thirsty he’d like some water pls
small a/n: part two! i highly recommend reading part one before this as this will make more sense. i have part one linked above (: also i’m still in the process of editing this, which i’m going to focus on once all parts are written and posted
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next several days passed without much excitement, much to Felix’s relief. The time consisted of both Chan and Felix learning to love with each other and become more comfortable in their shared space.
Felix took an extra day off work to help Chan settle in more before having to return and leave the spirit at home. He felt horrible the day after when he had to leave Chan and go back to work, but he knew it was for the best.
During the day, Felix went to work and sat at a desk and dreamed about clocking out and going home to the man waiting for him. He was mildly embarrassed to admit just how quickly Chan had worked his way into Felix’s heart, but the damage was done, there was no going back to how he was before.
Chan was the sweetest person Felix had ever met, he was convinced of it. Yes, he hadn’t known the other very long at all but there was no way anyone else could even compete. All of Felix’s past loves were shadows in comparison to the beacon of light that found himself in the center of Felix’s life.
With anyone else, he would’ve been scared he was moving too fast and getting himself in too deep. He and Chan had spoken about it, made it clear from their first day together that Chan was there to fill Felix’s lovesick heart the way he craved so intensely. And he had, he was there when Felix woke up, came home from work and went to sleep.
That wasn’t to say he catered himself completely to Felix’s every desire. He had his own little quirks that endeared him to Felix even more, one of those being his ability to Christmas-ify any and every room he walked into on a whim.
Felix couldn’t believe his eyes his first day home from work to see his apartment decked out in Christmas decor. Little baubles had been placed here and there and paper garlands were strung across the apartment. His sad little Christmas tree he’d put up in the corner had been completely transformed into a glowing masterpiece, just the same as the sad little tree in “A Charlie Brown Christmas” had been. And to top it all off, the whole apartment smelled like fresh cookies.
Felix didn’t know if spirits were allowed to marry, but if they were, he would’ve proposed on the spot.
His apartment had never felt quite as much like a home as it did once Chan aggressively redecorated, making the apartment look like a scene straight out of a cheesy Christmas movie. It was a bit overboard, but Felix didn’t have the heart to say so when he saw the utterly joyful expression coloring Chan’s face.
Christmas was his favorite time of year but he hadn’t properly celebrated Christmas in too long. The most he’d done was put up a tree and maybe some lights on his apartment balcony as he had been by himself every Christmas since college. He was grateful for Chan coming in and springboarding him right into the Christmas spirit.
Although the two of them were spending lots of time together outside of Felix’s work, their relationship hadn’t progressed farther than cuddling while watching a movie or falling asleep. They had time and while Felix was more than happy to let his inner monologue go crazy over Chan, he didn’t want to jump into anything more physical until they’d been on a few dates at least.
One of those dates Felix had been planning for some time, or at least a couple hours while he was supposed to be working.
Chan had a penchant for cookie baking that nearly put Felix’s brownie skills to shame; he’d made large batches of the tasty treats in three different variations since arriving in Felix’s kitchen almost a week ago. And while Felix figured a lot of people would get tired of the baked goods constantly covering his counters in different little tins Chan found, he was not one of those people. Felix had a notorious sweet tooth that could rival that of a five year old’s so he wasn’t complaining by any means.
It had sparked an idea for their first official date, a metaphorical bulb lighting up above Felix’s head when the thought popped into his brain. An ad had popped up while scrolling through TikTok for a shop where people could decorate their own Christmas cookies. As soon as he saw it, he knew it was the perfect place to bring Chan.
He made a reservation for the next night, barely able to contain his excitement and stop himself from spoiling the surprise to Chan when he got home.
“Someone’s happy,” Chan commented when Felix came home hours later. He was in the kitchen, absentmindedly stirring something on the stove and the smell immediately made Felix’s stomach grumble in interest.
Felix hummed, nodding and making his way over to Chan so he could peek over his shoulder at the pan on the stove.
“How’d you know?”
Chan gave Felix a dimply smile before shrugging. “It’s just one of those things.”
“You say that, but I have the feeling it’s another one of your little powers you haven’t mentioned yet.”
Chan just shrugged again, smile still on his face as he looked back to the pot of pasta on the stove. “It might be, you never know.”
Felix groaned and shook his head. “Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Where’d the fun be in that?” Chan giggled, wiggling his hips slightly in a way that made him look like more an excited, oversized puppy than the powerful spirit he was.
And if Felix’s heart didn’t skip a beat or three at the sight.
“Okay, fine, don’t tell me. You’re lucky you’re cute,” Felix grumbled quietly, hardly realizing the words that were leaving his mouth before they tumbled out.
Moments later, a soft squeaking noise came from Chan’s general direction as he tried not to choke on his own spit.
“Y-You… you think I’m cute?” Chan’s words were hushed, his tone disbelieving.
Felix felt his brain stop for a second as it caught up with his words before nodding quickly, unable to help the adoring little smile growing on his face. “I- I, um, yeah, I really do.”
Chan’s own shy smile mirrored Felix’s, his face flushing a bright shade of pink as he looked back at the pot of pasta. “I- uh, o-oh wow, would you look at that, the food’s done. Do- do you want a bowl?”
Felix nodded once again and went to retrieve two bowls for Chan and himself. He chose to ignore Chan’s blatant subject change after being complimented for the time being. Instead, he decided to bring it up later when the other didn’t seem quite so flustered and was less likely to burn himself on the hot surfaces he was surrounded by.
Chan hurried through serving Felix and then himself, keeping his head ducked to try and hide his reddened face the whole time. He offered Felix an awkward, sheepish giggle, waddling into the other room without another word.
Felix shook his head and followed Chan into the other room, fond smile dancing on his lips as he looked after the other. He settled down on the couch next to Chan, not at all thinking about the way their knees lightly rested against each other as he pushed the pasta around in his bowl.
“So, um, I was thinking we could go out tomorrow night,” he began after a moment. “One of my days off from work is tomorrow and we haven’t been on an actual date yet.”
He looked up from his bowl to once again find Chan beaming at him, dimples etched deep on either side of his mouth, the embarrassment from earlier long forgotten. Felix had the fleeting thought run through his mind that he’d never seen someone as beautiful as the man sitting opposite him. The thought was quickly followed up by another right after of how lucky he was to be faced with that bright smile everyday. And to be the cause of it so often made him feel wholly unworthy.
Chan was the sun, and Felix was a simple sunflower, greedily basking in the warmth of the other’s gaze.
It had only been a few days and already, Felix was unsure how he’d made it this far without the Christmas fairy in his life.
“You want to go on a date?” Chan asked, his voice snapping Felix out of his daze and back to the present.
Felix blinked at Chan dumbly a couple times before nodding and giving the other a small smile in return. “That’s part of why you’re here, right? So we can do cute couple things together?”
“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted to-“
“Channie,” Felix interrupted, scooting closer and putting his face in front of Chan’s so he couldn’t escape his gaze. He also refused to think about how quickly and easily that little nickname slipped out of his lips. “Why would I not want to go out with you? I haven’t known you for a very long time, but I do know that you’re kind, funny, the best cookie maker in the whole world, and quite possibly the hottest person I’ve ever met. I want to take you out and make you smile and let everyone be jealous that someone as amazing as you would be with someone like me.”
Sometime during his short speech, Felix’s hand had found its way to rest on Chan’s arm. And once Felix realized, he kept his hand where it was, secretly enjoying the feel of Chan’s arm under his hand.
Not that Chan had noticed, his face red and eyes wide as he stared back at Felix.
“Really?” he said quietly, tone unsure. “Y-You mean it?”
Felix gave Chan the sweetest smile he could muster, the Christmas fairy deserved nothing less. “I mean every word.”
Chan let out a soft giggle, looking down at his hands for a brief moment. He looked up at Felix again, who had still not moved away from in front of Chan’s face. This time, his expression wasn’t shy, it was the exact opposite. Chan’s full lips were quirked up in a cocky smirk and one of his eyebrows was raised as he gazed at Felix, who suddenly felt much too warm and too close to the other.
“So, you think I’m hot, huh?” Sadly for Chan, his façade lasted only until the end of that sentence, after which he immediately broke down into embarrassed giggles. He set his half eaten bowl of pasta down on the end table next to him and sunk into the corner of the couch, covering his face with both arms. Tiny, distressed groans and squeaks could also be heard coming from Chan’s general direction.
Felix just sat in his spot for a few seconds too long, his entire face now a deep shade of red to match Chan’s. He let out a nervous giggle of his own, trying not to think too hard about how his stomach was in knots over seeing that new, albeit short lived, side of Chan.
He didn’t know what he was going to do with the sweet, and apparently sometimes feisty, Christmas spirit that had found himself a staple in Felix’s life faster than he’d ever admit.
•••
The next evening couldn’t arrive fast enough.
For Felix, it was torture trying to keep the idea for his date a secret from Chan. And for Chan, it was torture as he followed his human around all day trying to guess what the date could be.
But eventually, it was nearing time for them to head out so they didn’t miss their reservations at the cookie shop.
Felix had told Chan to wear comfy clothes that he didn’t mind getting dirty which was a struggle for Chan as he loved his new, nearly all black wardrobe he’d picked out with Felix the week before. He didn’t want to get any of his new outfits messy, but after much reassurance from Felix that they could be washed, he settled on a set of clothes and the two headed out.
From the moment they walked into the shop, Chan had gone quiet, gazing at the rows of cookies waiting to be decorated in wonder. Felix just followed him around, letting him look at the impressive spread of cookies, icings, and candy decorations they had to choose from. He couldn’t help but smile fondly every time Chan came bouncing up to him, rambling about another type of cookie he just had to decorate and take home.
“Which ones do you want to start with first, Chan?” Felix asked after they started their third lap around the store.
“I- I don’t know, they all look so good,” Chan replied with a slight huff.
“Well, we can decorate a few to begin with and come back for more after. You don’t have to decide on everything right now.”
The smile Chan gave Felix in return was blinding, immediately bounding back to the front of the store so he could start collecting the cookies he wanted.
As he followed Chan around, Felix began to realize just how much he underestimated the amount of energy the spirit truly had. It took another three turns around the shop before Chan was ready to sit down and decorate. To Felix though, the slight twinge in his feet from so much walking was worth it to see Chan’s face permanently lit up with joy.
Another thing that quickly became apparent to Felix was just how skilled Chan was when it came to decorating. They’d barely sat down and already Chan was spreading out the cookies he picked out and icing them to near perfection. He held the little piping bottles expertly, concentrating on filling in every little gap with the colorful frosting.
Felix, on the other hand, was struggling a little more. He’d picked out some cookies for himself and though he considered himself somewhat skilled as a baker, it was clear that talent did not translate over into decorating. While Chan could create the most wonderful little pictures with frosting, Felix was just happy to complete a sad little stick-like snowflake on one of his cookies.
After multiple failed attempts to pipe out a Christmas tree that didn’t look like a blob, Felix huffed in defeat and slumped back in his chair.
“Is it like, a Christmas fairy requirement to just be amazing at cookie decorating?” he asked, looking enviously at the little murals Chan was painting next to him.
Chan shrugged, not looking up from the cookie he was now decorating with tiny candies. “Not necessarily, I’ve- I’ve just always liked it. I can let my creativity be free, you know?”
“I guess, but you’re so good at it, I don’t know how you manage to make every one of them look perfect so effortlessly.” Felix gestured to his tray of cookies with lumpy little pictures on them. “Mine look like they just got run over.”
“They’re not… terrible.”
Giving Chan an incredulous stare, Felix couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips seconds later.
“What?” Chan asked, voice squeaky in confusion. “Mine just look this nice because I’ve had a couple more years to perfect my ways.”
“Oh sure, because that’s just practice.” Felix nodded again, wholly unconvinced. “Go back to your decorating and let me be jealous.” He waved a hand dismissively and turned his attention back down to the cookies on his tray. The little smilies he’d shakily drawn onto one cookie stared at him tauntingly, like they knew he tried to make them better but was completely incapable of doing so.
Felix scrunches his eyebrows into a frown and petulantly poked at the cookie, offended by its happiness when he was trying to sulk. From his side, he heard a snicker and whipped his head up to look at Chan. “Don’t laugh at my pain.”
“I’m not laughing, I promise!” Chan snickered again and flinched dramatically when Felix reached out to lightly smack at his arm.
“Yes you were! You think my lack of talent is funny.” Felix pouted, poking his lips out in a way he knew his friends and others had a hard time resisting. Chan was no exception to his ways.
“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to upset you.” The smile was gone from Chan’s face, leaving him looking genuinely concerned.
Felix’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d done. Twice now since Chan came to him had Felix accidentally offended him. Scrambling to correct his error he rushed out, “No! No, no, Channie, no. I’m not upset, I promise. I was just joking.”
Chan still didn’t seem horribly convinced at his words, and Felix once again felt like the worst person alive for making his Christmas fairy feel that way.
His Christmas fairy. Huh. That was new.
“I mean it, I’m really impressed by you and couldn’t create anything close to that. I- I say stupid things sometimes, so don’t listen to me, like, ever. I’m really sorry.” Without thinking, Felix reached a hand out to brush a couple stray curls off of Chan’s forehead. He didn’t miss the way Chan stilled at the move, the tips of his ears flushing a dark red.
“You really like my decorations?” His question was quiet, half unsure and half shy.
“I don’t just like them, I love them. Now, let me watch the master work and maybe I’ll pick up something.” Felix lightly poked Chan on the cheek, grinning when a small smile made its way back onto the other’s face.
“If you insist…” Hesitantly, Chan picked up a new cookie and piping bottle, beginning to work on his next design.
Felix just watched him work, sending the spirit encouraging nods every so often when he held up the cookie to show his progress. He smiled as Chan regained his confidence and momentum after a couple minutes, falling back into his decorating groove.
Some more time passed and Felix started to get restless. He’d handed over his undecorated cookies to Chan, letting him make them pretty in a way he never could but now he was left with nothing to do. Until Felix looked at the little bottles of icing laid out before him and suddenly, he had a very stupid idea.
He picked up one of the bottles of red icing and put a dollop on the paper plate in front of him. Felix stuck his finger in the frosting before turning back towards Chan and lightly poking his cheek. Chan stopped mid-frosting swipe, frowning slightly in confusion and a tiny, surprised giggle leaving his lips.
“What was that for?”
Truthfully, Felix had no real answer other than a simple, “Because I wanted to?”
Giggling once more, Chan looked back at him for a moment, seeming to have an internal conversation with himself. He set down the cookie and offset spatula he had been using to decorate and reached in front of Felix, dipping his finger in the frosting on Felix’s plate. Then, with a mischievous smile of his own, he booped Felix’s nose, leaving a smudge of red icing.
“There, now we match,” he announced proudly.
“I guess we do. But maybe I should just…” Felix trailed off, grabbing the bottle with the green icing and putting a dot on his finger. He glanced at Chan and, wiggling his eyebrows, smeared a line of the frosting along the top of his cheek, right above the initial spot he’d left.
Chan’s eyes widened and he reached for the blue frosting to repeat the action of swiping a line across Felix’s cheek. Felix laughed, going for another bottle of frosting.
“Maybe this is the decorating I’m good at,” he joked, making a couple dots on Chan’s other cheek. There was a distant thought in the back of his head that they shouldn’t be doing this with the frosting and they could get in trouble for it. But one look at Chan’s smiling, red face and Felix couldn’t find it in himself to care too much.
The two went back and forth for a couple minutes, sharing laughs and shy glances as their faces became more and more covered in the bright frosting. They probably received some weird stares but neither noticed, too wrapped up in each other to think about anything else.
“I hope this doesn’t stain,” Chan whispered, leaning in close to Felix like he was sharing a deep secret.
“If it does, too bad. At least we’ll both look silly,” Felix shrugged with another laugh. “We should probably try wiping it off soon though, I don’t want the owners to kick us out.”
Chan nodded and picked up one of the paper towels that laid untouched in a pile by their cookie trays. He focused once again on Felix, lightly swiping it over a spot of frosting on his chin.
“Hold still for me.” The soft tone of his voice made Felix freeze, heart thundering in his chest at all of Chan’s attention on him, his face so close. He took in every inch of Chan’s perfect face, the light freckles across his nose that couldn’t be seen from far away, the way his eyebrows furrowed as he realized, “Uh oh. Felix… it’s not coming off.”
Felix was so deep in his own mind he barely heard or registered the other’s words. When the words finally sunk into his brain, his eyes went wide. “Wait, really?”
Nodding once again, Chan sat back immediately, his eyebrows still scrunched together as he studied the streaks across Felix’s face. “I think we’re both gonna look weird for a while.”
“Oops?” Felix offered unhelpfully and scooted forward in his chair, reaching for a paper towel to try and wipe the color off Chan’s face in return. Chan stayed still, closing his eyes while Felix dabbed at his face. Sure enough, the layer of frosting came off, but not the colors of the dye underneath. His skin was lightly stained, the little dots and streaks Felix painted stayed right where they were.
Even with the mismatched colors all over him, Chan was still the prettiest person Felix had ever seen. He was sure, now more than ever, that nobody else on earth would ever change that.
“There we go, all done.”
Slowly, Chan’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze meeting Felix’s. Felix was sure time slowed down in that moment as he looked at the beautiful man in front of him, the world fading into static around them. They were so close but so far away, and all Felix could think about was closing the distance that separated them; a couple short inches and he’d have what he’d been dreaming of for what felt like forever.
But not here, not in this crowded shop. His Christmas fairy deserved better, his Christmas fairy deserved nothing short of the whole world.
Felix tore his eyes away from Chan’s, turning back to the discarded cookies beside them.
“We should- we should, um, go,” he muttered. “I’ll go pay and get a box for these, okay?”
Chan just blinked several times, seeming dazed for a second before he gave a hum in affirmation that he’d heard.
Minutes later, they were walking back home, and all either of them could think about was what had happened inside the shop. Felix didn’t like the silence that hung between them.
He hated it, actually. He couldn’t keep messing up like this, Chan deserved better.
Long minutes turned to quiet hours and all too soon, Felix was getting ready to sleep, Chan already in bed in the room next to him. They hadn’t said much, neither of them knowing how to broach the subject of earlier. They made small talk, ate dinner and watched a movie together.
Felix still climbed into bed, curling up on his side. Chan still wrapped his arm around Felix’s waist, pulling him against his chest. Things were a little weird, but wouldn’t be forever. They could handle a little awkwardness for a day or two.
Next time, Felix would get it right, he silently promised Chan, and himself, as Chan’s steady breathing slowly lulled him to sleep.
•••
Another thing Felix had quickly learned about the Christmas fairy was that he could not sleep. He didn’t know if this was a problem all Christmas spirits had, but it was clearly one that Chan struggled with. More nights than not, Felix would wake up at three am to find Chan gone, in the kitchen baking or making hot chocolate.
Tonight was one such night.
Felix had woken up to again find that Chan was no longer next to him and instead had went off to the kitchen, presumably. Normally, Felix would just stay in bed and fall back to sleep, but tonight was different. He felt a pull, like something was telling him he should get up and join Chan in his late night kitchen adventures. So, he dragged himself out of bed and trudged toward the kitchen.
It had been a few days since the Incident and they still hadn’t talked about it. Things had been awkward at first and it had taken some time, but a couple batches of baked goods later and everything didn’t seem quite as dire as it had before.
Felix wandered into the kitchen and was met with the sight of Chan’s bare back as he stood in front of the stove. While Felix preferred to wear his cute, warm pajamas at night, Chan opted to sleep in shorts; though he suspected the reason Chan bothered to wear anything at all was just to keep Felix from feeling uncomfortable. Not that he would’ve minded if Chan wore less, which was another thought he’d tried desperately to push to the back of his brain whenever possible.
Chan heard the quiet shuffling of Felix’s feet on the floor and turned toward him, offering him a slightly concerned look.
“Felix? Are you okay, what are you doing up?”
Felix just shrugged, because once again, he had no good answer for the Christmas fairy. “I- I noticed you were gone and wanted to check on you.”
To that, Chan smiled softly and turned back to the pot of hot cocoa in front of him. “I’m fine, just can’t sleep sometimes, you know?”
By now, Felix had made his way to stand next to Chan and was watching him stir absentmindedly. “I’ve noticed.”
Things were back to being awkward and Felix hated it.
He wanted to fix it and make things better but he didn’t know how. What was he supposed to say? “You know that really awkward moment a couple days ago? I was really close to kissing you because you looked so pretty but didn’t want to because it wasn’t the right time and you deserve better than that and-“
“Do you want some?” Felix was snapped out of his inward spiraling by Chan’s question.
“I- what?” He asked dumbly, his brain still not having caught up with the moment.
“The cocoa, do you want some? I can make more if you want any.” There Chan was, still smiling sweetly at him like Felix hadn’t been a huge idiot in every way since the first day he showed up. Felix truly didn’t deserve anyone like his Christmas fairy.
His Christmas fairy. Oh fuck, there it was again.
“Felix, are you sure you’re okay?” Chan was frowning now and reached out to feel his forehead with the back of his hand. “Are you getting sick?”
Upon Chan’s skin touching his, Felix’s brain kicked back into overdrive, making him back away quickly. “N-No! No, I’m okay, I’m sorry. My brain’s just been… elsewhere, I guess.”
Chan just tilted his head, giving him a long, considering look. Eventually he sighed and looked away. “I can hear you overthinking again.”
There really was no hiding from Chan with his Christmas-spirit-emotion-telling-thing he had. That didn’t stop Felix from panicking internally.
This was one half of the two things he hated about love. The confessing. He was a chronic over-explainer and always rambled on for too long and weirded the other person out with how much he talked. He couldn’t help it; when he fell, it was deep and hard and there was never any going back.
Not that he was falling for Chan, except that he definitely was.
“Please talk to me, Felix,” Chan said, his voice barely more than a murmur. “I know it’s about the other day, stuff has been weird ever since then.”
Felix took a deep breath. It was time to face his anxieties and be honest. This was Chan, his sweet, lovely Christmas fairy that made him hot cocoa in the middle of the night and looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. He could tell Chan anything and would still receive that same smile that brightened his mornings and made his nights glow.
“About that,” he began, huffing out a sheepish laugh, “it’s stupid, really. I just- in the shop, you looked so, um, so pretty and I really wanted to kiss you but it wasn’t- it wasn’t the right time. I- I wanted to give you the perfect moment because you’re so amazing and- and you deserve something just as special.”
“Felix… why didn’t you tell me?” Some time during his stumbled explanation, Chan appeared in front of Felix, fixing him with such an earnest gaze that he was sure his legs nearly turned to jelly.
“I- I didn’t know how to. I was scared I’d messed up again and made things awkward and I didn’t want to make things worse.” Felix looked down, feeling a burning blush spread like wildfire across his face. Seconds later, a hand tilted his chin up and he was staring into Chan’s warm brown eyes. He was smiling faintly, his head tilted just slightly to the side with his dark curls falling across his forehead.
“What had you imagined?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper.
That took Felix aback. Truthfully, he hadn’t fully planned it out, but different scenes would float across his mind throughout the day. One minute, it was them ice skating, twirling around with each other; and the next, they were outside as the snow fell around them, glittering against the twinkle lights brightening the night.
He closed his eyes, and concentrated on the scene that appeared most in his brain.
“We’d go out, maybe we’d go ice skating, it’d be at an outdoor rink I know of. There are pretty Christmas lights hanging all around and it just feels so magical; we’d skate and maybe hold hands, I’d stress about having sweaty hands or tripping and falling on my face. We’d take a break for some hot cocoa before skating a little more and when the moment was just right, I’d turn toward you and ask before kissing you.” Felix’s eyes were still squeezed shut, wistful smile gracing his face.
And then there were two large hands cupping either side of his face and his eyes were flying open, once again meeting Chan’s searching gaze. He was close, so close. Felix’s breath caught in his chest as he gazed at the wondrous man in front of him. Mere inches separated them but it felt like a mile wide ravine.
“How attached are you to that idea?” Felix could feel Chan’s warmth breath on his face and his brain short-circuiting in response.
“N-Not very, anymore.”
“Then can I please kiss you?”
Unable to form words, Felix just nodded, closing his eyes once again as Chan leaned in. Softly, almost tentatively, Chan pressed his lips to Felix’s. They were soft, just as Felix had imagined, and he hurried to reciprocate, his hands coming up to gently rest on either of Chan’s sides.
It wasn’t like any other kiss Felix had ever experienced. With other people, it had been nice, wonderful, even. He’d tried to push himself to feel the fireworks spoken about in his favorite books and had never had anything close to that experience. But that wasn’t this either, there were no fireworks.
Instead, kissing Chan felt like coming home.
He felt like a warm hug on a cold day, reassuring and there. He was the sun after a long winter night and a refreshing swim in the middle of summer. This wasn’t the feeling Felix had dreamed of, but one so much better; one he hadn’t known he’d needed and now one he knew he’d never be able to live without again.
Moments passed and all too soon, Chan was pulling away, leaving Felix forever wanting more. He knew right away that he’d never be able to get enough of those kisses, of Chan himself.
Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking at Chan with a slightly dazed smile.
Chan smiled back, always and forever looking at Felix like he held the world. “Was that okay?”
Felix couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle at the question. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever received.”
Chan’s beautiful, dimply smile grew ever wider as he started to lean in once more. “Then would you mind if I did it again?”
This time, Felix beat him to it, wrapping his arms around Chan’s neck and eagerly pressing his lips against Chan’s. Chan let out a small, surprised noise but still returned the kiss, fitting perfectly with Felix.
As he pulled Chan in closer, Felix couldn’t stop smiling. Finally, he had someone to love and someone who loved him just as much.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
read part three here!
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bloody-wonder · 1 year ago
Text
mid-year book freak out tag
years go by... i still read books...
1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2023? moby dick! i totally did not expect to like this dusty tome so much but it was just too perfect a mix of tropy revenge tale, sea adventure mockumentary, and making stuff up and putting it into categories that caused pleasant vibrations in my neurodivergent brain. i have watched so many whale documentaries after reading this, you guys have no idea🐳
2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2023? flamefall is the second book in the aurelian cycle and it’s the best sequel i’ve read so far this year. the addition of a slow burn mm master/servant story line improved things considerably, not to mention that it was my favorite character’s time to shine. this series is sooo good, please read it guys you won’t regret it i swear🙏
(ngl i’m a bit annoyed that fourth wing, this fireborne sjm-ified, is doing numbers out there and meanwhile there’s no fandom for the aurelian cycle to speak of😒)
also i simply have to mention defekt, book two of litenverse. i found the first book quite boring despite it’s shortness but the sequel has a sad lil guy🥺. highly recommend for fans of black mirror, severance or the murderbot diaries. you don’t reeeally need to read book one btw, i think you can just read the description and then jump straight to the good stuff
3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i want to read witch king but i keep putting it off cause everything i hear about it sounds suspiciously like *american author does mdzs* and idk how i feel about that😬
4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2023? i’m looking forward to system collapse the most bc it’s gonna be set chronologically after network effect and it’s longer than the other murderbot novellas too. very excited to see murderbot and art bicker again hehe
5. Biggest Disappointment? ig it’s the warrior’s apprentice😬 many people recced the vorkosigan saga to me as “the lymond chronicles in space” but based just on this first(-ish) book i have to say miles is uhhh,, not lymond😐 lymond’s key traits are that he’s queer and a cunt and baby miles is simply not that (yet). of all the other books that people mentioned on my overcompetent scheming bastard post this was the last one i hadn’t read so i was a bit disappointed that it didn’t pull me in like the lymond chronicles. however, of all the books mentioned there it’s also the only series i can see myself continuing any time soon so. it wasn’t all too bad ig🤷‍♀️
i was also somewhat disappointed by assassin’s apprentice but i will make myself push through the realm of the elderlings just bc i’m so intrigued by the fool👀
6. Biggest Surprise? apart from the life changing experience that was moby dick i gotta admit i didn’t expect to like the goblin emperor, what with it being one of those cozy hopepunk fantasies where people are nice and decent to each other🙄 but it really did grow on me by the end, it indeed made me feel cozy and soothed. now i wanna try katherine addison’s older darker stuff that was apparently so controversial she had to change her pen name or smth👀🤭  
7. Favorite New Author? so i read another book by christopher rice and can confirm that he’s now one of my favorite authors. the man’s early 2000s gay thrillers are very melodramatic and refreshingly juicy - you can really tell they were published in ye olden pre-twitter times
8. Newest Favorite Character? cyrano savinien hercule de bergerac. after just reading that first act where he monologues about his nose for three pages straight and then spends all the money he has to hijack a theater and cause a scene by duelling a guy on stage while insulting him in ballad form i thought wow but this is one of my sexy fucked up guys who like to swish their swords and run their mouths! please enter the mind rotation chamber, monsieur🙌
9. Newest Fictional Crush? power sur eater🐉 you guys are sleeping on the aurelian cycle and on the Glory and Tragedy of My Boy who has done nothing wrong ever in his life and i love him😭 seriously, if you’d like to watch a character like draco malfoy go through jaime lannister’s arc you gotta read this series
also csevet aisava? the guy who put sexy in bureaucracy?? it’s a crime that he and maia didn’t kiss tbh
💕Best Ship💕 the relationship of griff and delo in the aurelian cycle was SO dramatic and full of rawest scenes! kinda reminded me of captive prince at times, bc of the whole master/servant element. and the ending? “i will grow old in love, let them sing of others”?? i am Emotion🥺
10. Book That Made You Cry? furysong made me cry my eyes out like every ending to a ya series should. have i mentioned you should read the aurelian cycle btw? but also both moby dick and cyrano de bergerac made me laugh AND cry as only really good books do. there’s a part in moby dick about seeing whales in mountains and stars that made me remember i am a human being and was a small and happy human being once - like that scene in ratatouille when anton ego tastes ratatouille and the nostalgic memories hit him and he becomes not evil anymore. that was nice but i cried like a little bitch😭
11. Book That Made You Happy? re-reading twittering birds never fly without skipping all the yakuza plot scenes made me realize how hilarious this manga actually is! yashiro can obviously crack a joke but this time i discovered the comic relief goldmine that is nanahara
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skjdvnksjdvk like?!
12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? i have a LOT of criticisms about martin crimp’s “free adaptation” of cyrano de bergerac but ngl it was fun to watch the play come to life on stage (even tho there were no swords, a crime😒) and even more fun to watch christian kiss cyrano on the mouth like god intended
13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? so this year i actually started reviewing stuff on goodreads for the first time and it’s quite fun and really useful for refreshing your memory on what you thought of a book. i try to go for short and witty over in depth and analytical so i suppose the best examples of the reviews i have written so far would be the ones of moby dick and the goblin emperor
14. Most Beautiful Cover? the og red cover of fireborne slaps! the revolutionary red? the minimalist black dragon? the main characters’ profiles formed by its wings?? talented brilliant show stopping. idk who made the decision to redesign the covers after the first book but that decision was utterly stupid🤨
15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? i need to finish some series (the diviners, the dreamhealers, the broken earth), then like i said i want to read witch king and also i’m doing the classics challenge again so i have to at least finish reading roxelana and re-read the picture of dorian gray (the uncensored edition👀). i have looked up my old mid year tags and was pleased to discover that i since have managed to read all the books mentioned there EXCEPT for you love me which has been a staple in my reading plans since 2021 so i’m gonna put it on this list again to honor the tradition lmao
overall i have to say my reading year is going well but i still miss the exhilaration of discovering new books worth obsessing over like it kept happening in 2019-2021 with the secret history, captive prince, all for the game, mdzs and lymond. last year i used to think i wasn’t doing a good job of finding books like this but now i’m starting to suspect that i have actually read ALL the good books and there aren’t any left :( but that’s absurd right?? or isn’t it?! anyways tell me what you’ve been reading so that i can maybe get intrigued by something and prove myself wrong on this🙏📚
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@figuringthengsout @counterwiddershins @fugitoidkry @magpiefngrl @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @pemberlaey @oliviermiraarmstrongs @hello-jumping-in-puddles @thehalcyonharbinger @pinkasrenzo @beeblackburn @weirdsociology @veliseraptor @theodoradove @sixappleseeds @doh-rae-me @venndaai 
talk to me about books guys! if you want to!!
goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 
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gnomeniche · 2 years ago
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OCs: The House at the Hellmouth
sorry i haven’t posted in a hot second i was thinking too hard abt oc-ifying my deemis humanization designs bc i love drawing their faces and shapes and i wanna keep them. so here’s The House At The Hellmouth, or hellmouth for short. it’s a low-stakes urban fantasy about these guys and their sometimes-magical issues.
for various reasons, three dudes who barely know each other have ended up living together in an extremely haunted house whose basement contains The Hellmouth™, a portal to a dangerous part of the magical world that must be watched over lest shit leak into the mundane world. most of the story is about them learning to live with each other and themselves as they slowly get more embroiled in the mysteries of the house and each other’s backstories.
it’s still very obviously inspired by deemis but hopefully it will grow into its own thing as i develop it. i put it in a more grounded genre even tho i love the weirdness and abstraction of deemis for that reason. it does use several ideas from my normal au but not as many as you’d expect? it’s way way more fantasy.
also i unbritished them. first of all to distance it more and second because it’s easier to write urban fantasy in a place you’re familiar with. the hellmouth is in Kansas because why wouldn’t it be.
so given that + the magic portal world in this universe + the focus on Home, they’ve got an Oz Motif going on. which is appropriate given that deemis is very Alice-like. kids’ isekais from diff countries.
anyway here’s the guys. average monster of the week party.
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orange: Clove Spindlebinder. the not-so-brainless “scarecrow”. scatterbrained but talented and creative. an embarrassment to his powerful wizard parents. sent to the hellmouth house from the magic world to toughen him up. would really prefer to do sewing magic but his enchanted thread has many useful applications in dealing with creatures. his parents are Rosemary Spindlebinder and Thyme Wyrdrender, two powerful members of the wizard council who are extremely divorced. the only thing they agree on is that they are disappointed in him. rosemary has custody, so he only counts as part of her family.
dark blue: Lucas Taylor. the not-so-spineless “lion”. quiet and awkward but resourceful and stubborn in the face of weird shit. literally just some guy aggressively concealing his ability to see magical stuff because he doesn’t want to be called a freak. answered clove’s Help Wanted ad intended only for magical people. stays even after he sees the hellmouth bc he doesn’t have to pay rent as long as he helps with the horrors. has a bad relationship with his family and especially his twin brother, Linden, who tried to distance himself from him as much as possible when they were kids.
teal: Ambrose Sherman. the not-so-heartless “tin man”. persnickety and mischievous but extremely lonely and motivated above all by care for his loved ones. an unaging undead who took the fall for his resurrector’s crimes to protect him. condemned by the wizard council to guard the hellmouth as punishment and has been here for a few decades. cannot go far from the house. his resurrector is Peregrine, who is maybe some kind of lich who dabbles in forbidden magic? idk but he’s bad news. unfortunately ambrose is very in love with him.
also the house itself is a character. it has something of a personality (not necessarily malevolent, sometimes friendly, often capricious) and its internal dimensions shift. sometimes it simply grows new rooms. the mystery behind the house and why the hellmouth even exists is Part Of This Story but damn if i know how i’m gonna have that shake out yet. i do have ideas for arcs but i don’t wanna write it all out here so that’s all for now.
here’s some bonus scribbles. i’m still figuring them and their designs out so this is all subject to change.
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bbnibini · 9 months ago
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(on anon bc I’m [a] chicken fr) but if you don’t mind me thought dumping here— I completely agree with your post (https://www.tumblr.com/bbnibini/741454154343514112/solomon-unrequited-unless-reassured-and?source=share ). Sol is definitely all of those things 😭 Elle and works-of-Elle you a real one for that. I just think it’s kinda funny how imo I personally do many of those things (besides the side character in own love story because that’s technically what I made myself be lol), and though I’m (unfortunately) down bad for this guy I feel like b/c of these similarities I wouldn’t be a good fit for him. ngl he would be happier with someone else and that’s all I want, for him to stop fucking suffering while alive, for him to get the security he deserves from someone who can give security so much better b/c they’re not insecure asf and don’t have a heap of mental issues that would need looking after…
Idk, just conflicting feelings :’)
(Also feel free to not respond to this lol. This turned out longer than I expected 😭)
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Ify, ify. I get really nervous messaging and being messaged by people too. social anxiety aaaaa
Aww I can understand that! I don't think I can offer the best advice with romantic relationships since I don't really feel the need to be in romantic relationships(I prefer being single even if a romantic interest presents itself. Even if the romantic interest is someone I do love in a romantic way;;it's an ace thing it's hard to describe dsfjdskf) but I do get the feeling of wanting the people I love or care about to be happy.
Back when I was a little younger, I did feel something a bit similar(?). It's the whole detachment, the isolating feeling of Oh, I'm okay now, but I could not escape the fact that something was "wrong" with me before: because I had been "broken" and I had no choice but to piece myself together over the years, it looks poorly done. Chipped up. I can see the lines where the glue holds everything together. What if I fall apart? It's not your responsibility to fix me. I love you too much to see you go through what I went through.
One of my favourite translated books define it as the kind of love that is like "I love you but this has nothing to do with you." And for me is what that one Mitski song is.
I don't really think this fits exactly what you described. But I wish you the best, anon! And hey, you can ship yourself with any of the dateables you want! c: Solomon would surely find you lovely and wonderful! <3
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oshawottarchive · 2 years ago
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Thinking about my Devourer Cole au, and was wondering what would happen in later seasons.
This is long, so uh
So, Cole can just, turn into a snake, although it’s hard to nearly impossible to control.
Season 4 would go a lot differently. Chen and his cult would probably be ecstatic, the other ems, not so much.
Chen would immediately give Cole vip treatment, and arrange for him to get an anacondrai tattoo. Cole would rather keep his pretty green scales, thank you very much, and nopes out of there (not much they can really do to stop him without getting envenomated, whether it be on purpose or an accident).
Chen continues to try and get Cole on his side, but keeps getting hit with a hard no.
Eventually, after vip treatment and politely asking fail, Chen tries physical restraining him.
They barely manage to actually catch him, but give up on giving him a tattoo because the last person who tried it lost a hand.
So they steal his elemental powers, hoping desperately that it’d at least slow him down a little bit.
It does, but he’s still very much capable of turning into a huge ass snake, and has very little control over it.
So they put him into a cage (not wanting to risk him breaking the noodle factory), and call it a day.
Eventually, he does manage to bust out, but only after his snake stuff actually starts to cooperate. It took at least two days for him to get his scales back after they put him in a cell.
When he does get out, he manages to find Zane, who is very glad to be free but also very nervous because Cole’s being a giant snake that can barely fit in the tunnels right now.
Luckily, this also means that the Anacondrai serpent does not want to deal with them right now, and would rather eat something smaller.
Some other stuff happens (that I haven’t planned out), and yay they’re all free now. Too bad Cole’s still a giant snake right now.
So, they have to 1. Fight Chen’s now Anacondrai-ified army, and 2. Deal with Cole definitely not fitting on a dragon and not being in the best state of mind.
You see, Cole has a very hard time distinguishing what’s food and what isn’t food when he’s a big ass snake (and sometimes when he only has a few scales, too), so, he has tried to eat a few people in the past week or so (and he might have eaten a cultist or two).
Anyway, the only way to get him off the island is to either wait til he gets smaller, or for someone to lag behind so they can stay with him as he swims across the entire ocean.
The latter happens.
Eventually though, before they have to fight Chen’s army, he does change back a bit.
And this is a horrible time to change back because otherwise he’d be able to fight Chen’s army as a giant snake.
Now on to season 5.
It happens quite a bit differently. 1. Cole doesn’t get ghosted, and 2. Morro is kinda freaked out and confused.
Morro’s still willing to fight the ninja (they’re in his way goddamn it), but he’s a little wary of Cole.
Also, in the first episode, Cole gets a few scales while they’re handing out flyers (it happens when he’s still holding up the car).
People still aren’t too used to one of the ninja being a snake, so they freak out a bit (especially the guy in the car).
I don’t have Possession planned out that much, so on to Skybound (not much is planned for this, either, tbh)
So, Nadakhan tries to get Cole to make a wish, and expects him to wish for him to become fully human again, but instead Cole wishes for confirmation that Jay loves him, and Nadakhan is very confused, but realizes that it doesn’t go against the rules and grants the wish.
What happens is that, since Jay already loved him, he just becomes very obsessive, which makes it a bit hard for him to fight Nadakhan, since he keeps getting distracted.
Now I’m gonna skip to the Oni trilogy.
At this point, Cole’s a bit better at controlling his snake side, but it’s still very unpredictable and hard to contain.
He has his scales for most of the Oni trilogy, which makes it hard for him to try and disguise himself among the sog and the dragon hunters.
Harumi is immediately wary of him, and the Jade emperor and empress are hesitant when it comes to letting him into the palace of secrets.
The ninja do convince them, and Cole gets to stay and help out.
(I don’t have too much planned out so insert text here I guess)
Little Wu doesn’t really remember the ninja, so he’s a bit scared of Cole, but gets used to him once he realizes that he won’t hurt him.
Once little Wu starts talking, he won’t shut up about Cole. It’s usually “snakie!”, “pretty scales”, and when he gets older “why are you a snake?”, “are you always cold?”, “why do you have a tail sometimes and then you just don’t?”.
In Hunted, the dragon hunters are convinced that Cole is definitely an Oni, and keep putting him against Slab even though both Slab and Cole are getting themselves pretty beat up.
Eventually though, Cole does become Devourer sized again, and the hunters freak out.
He’s a bit less Oni to them and a bit more “giant being of death” (especially when he might’ve eaten a few hunters).
I don’t really have much else planned for the au, I just know that Aspheera is very fascinated with Cole, Pythor doesn’t want to even look at him. Vangelis doesn’t wanna fight the giant earth snake again, Mr. F doesn’t remember him, and Harumi is just like “hmmmm, maybe we should try and convince him to join our side, since it would be a good idea to ally with giant snake guy.”
The Overlord is just like “not again, please”, and agrees with Harumi.
Cole does consider it, but mostly pretends to be on their side while he secretly eats some of their vengestone army (they don’t taste very good, but most of his tastebuds are gone, anyway). Also, his stomach acid destroys the vengestone, so he’s fine.
The crystals do get to him a bit, though. He doesn’t get his dragon form cause he doesn’t really need it, and prefers to just smack everything around with his tail as he steals his scythe back.
Anyway, that’s about all I have right now. Hope you enjoyed reading! I’m really excited to finally start writing for this au.
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agrebel18 · 2 years ago
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OWL HOUSE THEORY FOR WATCHING AND DREAMING!!! (added a read more in case you don’t wanna get content from the trailer and thumbnails)
ok so if Amity got turned into a puppet, then I’m assuming that the rest of the Hexsquad got turned into puppets too, and the trailer showed them in their past outfits from season 1 and 2, so I’m assuming that EVERYONE expect Luz, Eda and King turned into puppets, so BESIDES Luz in Belos’ outfit and having her struggles, we’ll have a sneak peek of characters fighting off in their minds, ESPECIALLY RAINE (which would be cool as fuck to show their character development and potentially reveal things about them we didn’t know??) and I’m leaning towards the Hexsquad too since THERE’S A REASON why they’re dressed like that, and maybe they have to fight Belos???
 Because while I believe the Collector was the one who puppet-ified everyone, strong illusions and nightmares like the one that Luz is ASSUMABLY FACING OFF could be Belos’ doings, since he was holding a blue star in the trailer. IDK I JUST LOVE MINDSCAPE BATTLES AND DREAMS AND THE AESTHETIC THAT THIS EPISODE IS GIVING THE VIBES OFF!!
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