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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years

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Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe & Prince Caspian [My opinion on the Characters - Ranting time]

“Reading is my therapy” masterlist

So @mytreec , @leahstypewriter and I have been discussing Narnia recently so I thought I would give it a watch again after all those years. Oh my, did I have a rollercoaster ride in that 4+ hours.

I would like to also state that I do not remember what was in the book, it’s been over 15 years since I last read it and whilst I loved the movies, I did not get caught up in the book much.

First I will start with all the negative personality traits I have experienced within the characters before I’ll go for the positive attributes.

Also I would like to say that it’s not an official review from me or anything, I simply needed to rant. My language is very poor and mostly pissed off throughout the rant xD

Peter!

So from the very beginning I was very sceptical. I remembered that I did not like Peter much back in the day and once again, my feelings haven’t changed much. The way Peter talks to Edmund, trying to overpower him, always scolding him, sometimes even in an aggressive manner, such as when Lucy showed them the wardrobe or when they arrived to Narnia, just made me want to slap the boy to shake some sense into him.

Of course, it is visible that he loves his brother, they are laughing together right at the beginning of the movie, but the amount of hurt he has caused him already with his attitude has already pushed him away. No surprise that the boy feels attacked even when Peter just wants the best for him.

I loved how Peter handled Lucy, always caring for her, always being there for her. And whilst he didn’t believe Lucy when she found Narnia and indeed he was a bit of an arse, I do believe I resonated with him, because the older you get, the less you believe. Obviously Lucy as the young one would have a wider, more vivid imagination.

As they arrived to Narnia, I started to like him more and more. The way he struggled against all the odds and finally collected himself enough to show a more logical thinking, instead of just being plain bossy definitely showed a growth in personality for me.

If we just look at how he welcomed his brother back. They didn’t jump into each others neck, they still had their walls up, but that little joke about trying to not wander off was perfectly enough for them to understand each other. I think that was a point where Peter started to understand Edmund a little more.

Also the courage he showed as he led the army in to battle was a positivity for me. Instead of just talking down on people and telling them off, he finally learned to rely on others, that he is not alone. The little nod he and Edmund exchanged for the battle to start, I like to think that wasn’t just a signal, it was also a symbol of trust. But then I could be reading too much into it.

In Prince Caspian, once again he started off by annoying me. From the very first moment he and Caspian met, it was like a dog fight. Who the alfa is. I just can’t understand how this man has always someone to disagree with. (Referring back to the fight in Strand underground station and his issues with Edmund)

It seems to me that Peter, just like Caspian has some underlying inferiority issues, because that two does nothing, but bickering.

However when Caspian almost brought back the Witch and Peter fell into the same trans, oh it showed how freaking similar they are.

The development between the two, the discussions, the agreements and lack of arguments showed that both finally accepted that they needed to work together, which was important in their development.

However once again Peter had an issue with someone, just like before with Edmund. It really makes me question what he is thinking and feeling, because this is not about being argumentative, this is straight up being bossy.

Lucy!

Oh dear Lucy, my sweet little bean. Back in the day when I last watched the movie, I thought she was cute and innocent. Oh god, was I wrong?!

Is it just me that is concerned about Lucy arriving to Narnia and agreeing to go and have a cup of tea with Tumnus the faun? Is it just me that watched the screen with a gobsmacked expression when she said she thought he was a friend after he has confessed planning to kidnap her?! - Haven’t their parents told them not to talk to strangers? Haven’t their parents told them not to go anywhere with strangers? For God’s sake, what on earth have their parents taught them?!

Back when I watched the movie I didn’t find it creepy, but now it raises some concerns that a little girl would just get up and have a cup of tea with a faun in a world she doesn’t even know. o.O - Excuse my ranting over here :)

Anyway, Lucy is a bundle of joy, innocent and sweet, believing everything, which I rather call naive, but let’s ignore that for now. She is this cute little girl and that’s how she was stuck in my head, but after rewatching the movie, that little girl had some serious things to say and some seriously sarcastic comments to add. To quote her “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s just your imagination.” :D

I was shocked at how adult-like she could be, even more so than her siblings and it was certainly refreshing to see. Whilst she kept her innocence, she showed a brave and grown up attitude.

Lucy for me was put at the backseat in prince Caspian, but I lover her just as much as in the first movie, but she didn’t play a big role in my eyes.

Edmund!

Edmund was one of those characters that I liked and disliked at the same time back in the day. Peter’s constant nagging had affects on his attitude let’s start with that, but the boy really needed some spanking to get him back on the right path, because he was even more annoying than back when I last watched the movies and don’t even try to defend him for his hardships being caused by Peter.

And let’s be honest, the boy lies better than anyone I know. Straight up lying to Peter and Susan when Lucy is trying to prove to them that Narnia indeed exists was a mean move, my boy.

Of course our ball of aggression is arriving to Narnia and guess what, dumb as Lucy, he eats and drinks whatever the Queen gives him and not even like taking it out of a bag or a compartment on her sleigh, no, the woman makes these things with a drop of liquid and our main character doesn’t even question it. I would like to refer to my previous renting - What on earth have their parents taught them?! Edmund is not even that young anymore, the lack of suspicion from him was disappointing.

And what bothered me even more, the boy now feels a rush of honesty and spills all the secrets. Up until now he was lying, now he has this honesty burst and lets it all out. From one end on the spectrum to the other. Oh boy, he got on my nerves.

Now obviously we could see that the boy had some issues from the beginning and he wasn’t the nicest of characters from lying to spilling too much. However, I have to give him, that it was visible that he was conflicted with what to say, what to do, what was right and what was wrong and if I want to be honest, we can all relate to that. Nothing is black and white, we make decisions that we feel are right, but others might choose differently.

I have to say that in the battle when he ran to protect Peter, I like to think that he didn’t just do it because they are brothers, but for two reason; one being the fact that he had his personal issues with the Queen and he grew enough to stand up to her and secondly because while we saw him as a little coward, he developed the bravery he needed to stand up against someone who he perhaps knew that he didn’t have much chance against.

His belief in his brother, Peter that he could lead them, him accepting that his brother is indeed a good leader also shows that he finally left his sulking behind and he can see a side to him that he deliberately tried to ignore.

The boy who has finally grew. He has a very good development in my eyes. And not jus the fact that he has been smart and witty, but the way he always seem to get Peter out of trouble, the way he had the strength to stand up to the Witch again. That boy grew hell of a lot.

In Caspian, he kind of took the backseat for me, just like Lucy.

Susan!

Back when I watched the movie, she annoyed me to no end. Her smart comments, “realistic” way of thinking as she said and logical thoughts made me roll my eyes. However now that I have grown up, I can see where she was coming from. They happened to arrive to a place that they don’t even know, their brother gets captured out of nowhere, they meet talking animals and they are being told that they are part of a prophecy. If I want to be completely honest, my girl was right, I would have said let’s get out of here too.

But then her logic was also something that pulled her back. Peter was ready to save their brother and go on a search, and this little teenage girl keeps on going on about leaving. It was very hard not swear at my screen.

She is actually the character who didn’t show me much development, but she was also the kind of character that I didn’t feel like she got enough time on the screen. I personally think she had way more layers than what we have worked with and it would have been better if we started to see into her character a little more.

Now we have got to see more of the girl in Caspian, but is it just me or she still didn’t have much contribution physically or personality wise to the story? Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I just can’t remember much of her doing anything other than exchanging looks with Caspian, leaving with the horse and being saved by Caspian and well, being “logical”.

Prince Caspian!

Okay let me start off with the amount of love I have fo Ben Barnes. Obviously this has clouded my judgment before. When I say before, I mean I thought for years that Prince Caspian is a flawless piece of man. Oh God, was I wrong?!!! Very!

The man is a ticking time-bomb of idiocy. It’s not enough that he decided to confront his uncle in the middle of a secret attack, he dares to blame Peter for what he has done. It was all his fault for losing so many of their army to begin with. If he kept to the plan, they wouldn’t have been exposed.

If it’s not enough, the man has an inferiority complex. I mean the way he tries to overpower Peter (let’s not talk about the way he responds, I already did above) is ridiculous. He is a young prince who knows nothing but the stories he has heard. Peter at least has been through a war before.

And let me mention when he almost brought the White Witch back, I thought it can’t get any worse. I understand the disappointment he had, the feeling of being useless, but you can’t just bring people back, you dumb little boy.

Honestly as much as I liked him before, he was so much of a disappointment now, but it’s because I was so enchanted with Ben Barnes in my younger years, that I forgot to actually read him.

However, I really liked the humanity he showed when he didn’t kill the Telmarine King. That showed real development compared to how he attacked him in the castle.

What I considered a huge change also is the way he behaved with Peter later on. He didn’t try to overpower him anymore and so Peter as well accepted his opinion and ideas easier. That was definitely a change that I enjoyed watching.

The White Witch!

I was actually disappointed in the witch in a way. I mean from the very first moment, the way he talked to Edmund was way too aggressive. I personally think that a normal kid would have picked up on how insane she was. I think she would have been a better character if she acted nicely, having some psychopathic tendencies instead of coming off as the villain from the first moment.

#narnia #caspian #peter #edmund #lucy #susan #prince caspian #peter pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #caspian x #white witch

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duhragonball · 4 years

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Cult Classic

I had a really exhausting week, so I’m going to try to chill out by writing this thing about cults that’s been bouncing around in my head since... oh, like January 6th? For some reason? But it’s also about my insanely long OC fanfic slash vanity project slash concept album. Join me, won’t you?

Okay, so back in... geez 2018? Has it been that long? Around October 2018 I started working out the details for the big climax of the “1000 years ago” section of my fanfic. From the start I had this idea that the Legendary Super Saiyan would be locked into a death struggle with pretty much the entire Saiyan population, led by a Saiyan King who just can’t handle being upstaged. But I had to figure out a lot of details to make that actually work. What I finally ended up with was the Jindan Cult.

Why a cult? Because I wanted my King character to be the main villain, but also be physically weaker, but also he needed to be powerful enough to challenge the heroine. I came up with all these different ways to beef up his power level without making him a Super Saiyan himself, but ultimately I wanted him to have an army of Siayans at his back. That led me to consider some sort of magic elixir that would make them all stronger, but especially the king, since he’s ultimately in this for himself. At first, I considered having him mind-control all of his goons, but I spent the mind control nickel in earlier arcs, and I’ll have to use it again later, because Towa and Demigra use it. Then I thought of drug addiction, which is sort of like mind control but not literal brainwashing or anything like that. And that led me to the cult concept.

One major inspiration for me was the real-life cult called “NXIVM”, which made the news back in 2018 when their leaders started getting arrested, including “Smallville” star Allison Mack. Every time I read about it, it felt like something from a movie, but it was real. I guess the celebrity angle made it more bizarre to me, because it’s sort of like “Hey, this isn’t just some group of randos; someone you’ve heard of is in this thing.” Not that I ever paid much attention to “Smallville”, but you get the idea. She didn’t just join NXIVM, she eventually became one of the top recruiters. Some of the character arcs in my fic were my own attempt to understand how a person goes from Point A to Point B.

The big plot hole, though, in my mind, was that I came up with this whole master plan for the bad guys, but it involved sending wave after wave of Saiyan cultists to die in pointless, unwinnable battles against Luffa. I couldn’t have them win much, because if they beat her, they’d just kill her, and the story would be over. It struck me as fishy that these Saiyans would sign up for a war where the casualty rate is 100%, but I tried to lampshade it as best I could. “Yeah, all those other chumps couldn’t beat Luffa, but I’ll pull it off because I’m special!” It still seemed a bit unlikely.

But then 2020 happened, and I guess the main thing I learned from that year was that people will accept almost anything in order to believe a comfortable lie. The joke I’ve seen on the internet is that we need to retire the expression “avoid it like the plague”, because it turns out a lot of people don’t actually avoid plagues very well at all. The horrifying thing about COVID-19 is how easily people will accept the climbing death tolls. “Oh, well this person was already in bad health, so they would have died eventually anyway.” I don’t want to get too political here, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the anti-mask, coronavirus-is-a-hoax crowd are the same people who made up tall tales about “death panels” in Obamacare. “They’re gonna euthanize your grandma!” they would say, but now they say your grandma is acceptable losses if it means reopening bars and restaurants.

Actually, I do mean to get political, because holy fuck, Qanon stormed the Capitol Building. Look, if you don’t believe Joe Biden won the election, I don’t know what to tell you, except please get far away from me, right now. If you’re not familiar with Qanon, a few years ago some guy on an image board posted a bunch of cryptic messages and claimed to be an important government figure who would know about important things. People started “deciphering” his ��clues” and when he stopped posting new ones they started inventing their own “clues” and interpreting them any way that suited them. This led to an overarching narrative that Donald Trump was actually part of this massive sting operation to arrest hundreds, maybe thousands of left-wing politicians, celebrities, and whoever else. Any day now, he was supposed to have Hilary Clinton arrested, and also JFK Junior would somehow show up and help him, even though he’s been dead for 22 years. Every day, these Qanon guys would add on more bizarre lore to their “theories”, and every day none of their predictions would come true. Then Trump lost the election, which put them in a bind, because their whole mythology is based on the idea of him saving the world as POTUS, and now he wasn’t even going to be POTUS for much longer.

I’m pretty sure this had a lot to do with the lies about election fraud. Trump himself refused to accept defeat, and his supporters didn’t want to accept it either, so they all told each other that it wasn’t real, and they believed each other so much that they dug in their heels. But then they’d take this stuff to court and the judge would be like “Uh, what evidence do you have of mass voter fraud?” and they would just be like “lol nvm!” I mean, if there was proof for any of this, why would they not want a judge to see it? But for Qanon, it was more than just being sore losers. They needed all their whackamaroo predictions to come true, and Trump losing re-election would upset the applecart.

So then they started telling themselves that they could win this thing through the boring certification process. I think it was like, December 14 when all the states had to certify their results. So they held out hope that nothing was over until then. Then they pinned their hopes on the Electoral College, and that there would be enough faithless electors to hand Trump the victory, in spite of the voters. I found this one amusing, since I used to see tumblr suggesting the same thing back in 2016, when they were still trying to come up with ways for Bernie Sanders to win.

Then they decided Mike Pence could fix everything, because on Jan 6, Congress would officially count the Electoral Votes and formally declare the winner, and Mike Pence would step in and overrule the whole thing, because the Vice-President oversees that process. Except he just oversees it, he can’t legally change the outcome, especially on a whim. And then the riot at the Capitol happened, and I’m pretty sure all these Qanon types thought it would mark the beginning of a nationwide uprising, with all seventy-odd million Trump voters going apeshit, but it... didn’t work out that way.

Then they convinced themselves that everything was building to January 20, because the innauguration was actually a clever trap, and once Joe Biden took the oath of office, he could then be arrested for treason, so you see, they had to make it look like Trump lost the election, because it was the only way to fool Joe Biden into incriminating himself... or... something. But Jan 20 came and went, so the latest fallback position I heard was that there’s a double-secret REAL inauguration day, and it’s in March, and the January 20 one isn’t legitimate, even though Trump was inaugurated on January 20, 2016, but whatever. That, or the guy we see in the White House now is actually Trump disguised as Joe Biden, or a Joe Biden android or something.

I think I sort of understood that Qanon is a cult, but I didn’t really put the pieces together until the events of January unfolded. Pre-November, it just seemed like a conspiracy theory, without any real timetables or prophecies, like Flat Earth. But once the end of the Trump Administration was in sight, it really started to look like all the doomsday cults I’ve heard about over the years. The predicted events wind up failing to come true, and they invent new predictions to explain away the old ones. It’s not about the veracity of the claims as much as the claims themselves. People want to believe there’s this whole elaborate explanation for everything. They wanted to believe that Trump was this hypercompetent superheroic messiah, because the alternative is to face the uncertain reality: that he had no idea what he was doing, and real people were going to suffer for it.

I think I sort of worked that idea into my fictional cult, but I backed into it. NXIVM was a sex cult, not a doomsday cult, or an elaborate conspiracy theory, so I was mostly fixated on all the depraved things the cult could do to its members. But they all share the same lure: a belief system that promises to make everything fit. I’m not sure what the hook was for NXIVM, but Allison Mack didn’t go in thinking about how much fun sex trafficking would be. That came later, after she was convinced that NXIVM had all the answers, and one of those answers involved sex crimes, apparently. In the same vein, Qanon attempted to explain mass arrests and executions by claiming that Hilary Clinton eats babies or something. “Well, I don’t want babies to get eaten, so I guess breaking into the Capitol building seems like a reasonable course of action.”

Weighed against real life, a bunch of Saiyans accepting a 100% casualty rate doesn’t seem so outrageous. It also helps that sometimes the leaders of these groups can buy into their own hype, and think they’re infallible when they’re really not. This week, I started reading the Darth Plagueis novel again, and I’ve seen the Sith from Star Wars referred to as a cult, but I never gave it a lot of thought until I noticed that Plagueis buys into the whole Dark Side of the Force thing a little too hard. At times, he’ll wax philosophical about how the Jedi are the real bad guys when you think about it, and he’s not just saying that to be manipulative. He honestly believes that the Sith can save the galaxy from decline, which is stupid and hypocritical, because they’re the ones causing all the decline. I always got the impression that Darth Sidious understood that it was all about accumulating power as an end unto itself, and any high-minded talk of necessary evil was just to keep the rubes in line. Rise of Skywalker plays into that idea nicely. He somehow survived Episode VI, but he let the Empire collapse, because if he can’t rule it, he doesn’t want it to exist at all. But he’s still playing himself, because he thinks he can win by following the same failed ideology that got all the previous Sith Lords killed.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about it right now. I need to move on to other topics, because Towa’s not doing a cult thing, so my fic is moving in a different direction. But I feel better for getting this out of my head.

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

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Falling From Grace- Part 1: The Journey

Calum, Ashton, Luke, and Michael have a prophecy to fulfill. They might not have always been Calum, Ashton, Luke, and Michael but they have always been brothers in the fight. Mythology!sos. Each guy is a God reincarnated from various mythologies

Calum- Tangaroa

Luke- Aengus

Ashton- Zelus

Michael- Bragi

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Find the ‘deleted scenes’

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When they find him with half his body still submerged in water, they are not surprised. His body adorn, as always, in black ink, half his hair tied up into a top knot, the rest falling down over his shoulder blades down to the middle of his back. “Tangaroa! We must go.”

He lifts one hand from the water. They cannot see but his mouth moves as hushed whispers fall over his lips. The other three men wait at the edge of the ocean, toes licked by the push and pull of the waves crashing against the shore. Bragi watches, eyes fluttering close at the feel of the breeze against his skin.

“If you start quoting some poem, I’m leaving you all here,” Zelus huffs.

“You won’t make it far,” Aengus retorts. “You need us. All three of us. Remember what happened last time.”

Zelus turns his face from the baby faced, blue eyed, and blond curls man to his left back to the brown body still swaying in the ocean. He doesn’t need to be reminded of what happened the last time he tried to stray away from them. When he walked away, the Earth rumbled. The ground started to crack. All of the gods and Creators stood up in the darkening sky. Their voices boomed in unison, ��The end falls upon us unless you reunite with your brethren.” Of course he was not selfish enough to let the world fall apart on his hands.

Zelus was just sick of fulfilling this same prophecy over and over, only for it to crumble yet again. The four of them, together, could only maintain the existence of life. Never mind the fact that Zelus knew that Tangaroa’s purpose was the biggest one. Water, from which everything begins and ends. The sea, a calm, almost forgetful body until it was angered. Water carried life and it could crush life too. Tangaroa never overestimated his rule. He never made himself the leader of this ensemble. He always lingered in the back, puffy brown eyes hidden but keen and he stayed quiet.

He let the others be loud and he lingers, quietly laughing and smiling all the way through their time on earth. Zelus didn’t want to admit it, but he was jealous. His role, in theory, was no less important. Without any feeling of eagerness, people would create nothing. Without a sense of drive, they would invent nothing, nothing would be propelled forward. But he felt partially responsible for some of the nastiness in the world. Tangaroa always told him it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t make them hold onto to such vile beliefs. He only simply told them to believe. And that’s all his job was but it never negated the doubt, never made him feel that much more at ease about the fact that sometimes people believed in the wrong things.

Bragi pulls the hair back. It won’t stay this length or maybe even this color for long. First they must wait for Tangaroa first though. They always wait on him. Like a mother on the verge of birth, they wait patiently, with some huffed complaints, and wait for him to take the necessary time. He blesses the waters and the waters shall in return bless him back. There is a balance and in his human state, in this mortal host, he must praise it like any other man would.

“Have we thought of names?” Bragi asks.

“I like the sound of Luke. I haven’t had too common of a name in a while,” Aengus answers. He appeared first, quite unusual for him. But Zelus got caught up with Zeus and his siblings, Kratos, Nike and Bia. He didn’t quite fork over the details of the meetings and everyone knows not to pry for more than they are given.

So Aengus cut his hair down, now the curls wrapping around his head and dressed in shorts and a short sleeved top. He’s forgone his sneakers as he waited for the others to arrive on the beach. “Alright Lucas,” Zelus teases.

“Just Luke,” comes the retort with a squeaky laugh. People lay eyes on him and are find himself falling deep into the blue of his eyes. Tangaroa likes to tease that if not for his waters he would have nothing to compare his eyes too. Even though it’s just a joke, the truth is not lost on them.

“I like the name Michael,” Bragi says. “There’s something strong to it.”

“Then you are Michael, starting from now,” the newly dubbed Luke answers. The two other men turn to the brunette man, hair still long and blowing in the breeze from the ocean front. He watches Tangaroa’s figure wade up to sure. “Ashton,” he says. “And I like to think that this man knows how to take his damn time.”

“Blessings are not rushed,” Tangaroa answers, taking the towel from Luke’s fingers with a nod. “Calum,” he states, naming himself, this next form.

With the last man finally dry and decent, though he’s missing a shirt. He’s still wearing the cloth around his waist but ties the towel around, aware that here, now, the sight of his bare back will be frowned upon. “You’re bare ass never gets old,” Michael laughs.

“Great language from the bard,” Calum quips with a smile.

“I’ve sung about war and unimaginable violence. I’m allowed to use the word ass.” The four men trudge up the sandy shores. It’s easier to meet up here, in Australia. Strange things happen here. But their journey will take them elsewhere. It always does. “The house is set up here, for now,” Luke starts as they approach his car. Nothing flashy, just a black four door SUV. They need nothing to attract attention to themselves.

Calum sits in the back with Michael. Luke drives and Ashton rides in the front seat. They wonder what chaos will be brought for thim this time. Who will they run into this time that’s the center of their mission. “I won’t leave this time,” Ashton says.

“No one’s holding it over you,” Calum returns.

“I am.”

“You always are. Let it go. New time here, new plans. Nothing old.”

He’s right. But it’s still not an easy pill to swallow knowing you’re the reason shit nearly went to hell. Not that it didn’t happen even when they weren’t here, looking at the currently political landscape. At least he didn’t necessarily fuck this up. It was not his hand that directly impacted that. Water, zeal, beauty, and poetry. They shall always be combined to each other. What is life without water? Life is not sustained without water and to some, life comes from water. What is life without zeal? Boring, life is pointless without an eagerness. What is life without aesthetic value? Bland. Life has no texture if there is no variance in appearance. What is life without words? Life is stagnant with the inability to share stories.

Or at least that’s what the other gods and Creators have told them. And here are the four pillars humanized, able to walk amongst the new age. Ashton rests his head into the leather of the seat. How shall they fix the world this time? What will be the medium through which they must speak? Will they combine to make a circuit of poets again? Will they fight alongside activists in afros and bellbottoms again? See, that’s the unfortunate truth to their situation. No matter how many times they fix things they always fall apart. History repeats itself. Because those in power don’t change their hearts, they just change their mouths.

Luke pulls into the lot of the apartment complex. The men climb out, shuffling quickly into the entrance. People will start to talk soon enough and they will move on. The apartment’s and clothes are always picked out by various servers of the counsel. They don’t interact with them much besides their initial meeting. When the doors swing up, a woman’s already sitting at the dining room table. “Welcome back,” she grins.

Calum recognizes her, she’s not just some server from the counsel. “Ḥauḥet, nice to see you again.”

Her jeans are form fitting, the heels are new. “What are you doing here?” Ashton asks. She’s not one to get involved in such matters.

She shakes her head, the tight braids falling around the sides of her face and the beads at the ends clicking at her gesture. “I’m here because I need to be. Now, I need names.”

They go down the line, all listing off the names they’ve chosen for themselves. She nods, noting them all down on a notepad. The three of them rest against the wall, accustom to the flash that it sure to come. It’s white walls perfect for most state IDs. They all slip into the either the white or black t-shirt provided. Luke went through this process earlier, but he’s yet to be told what’s happening exactly. With that, they excuse themselves to the back.

As they settle into the two bedrooms, each man notes the outfit laid out for them. Michael takes in the baggy cotton pants and oversized black t-shirt. He’s not upset by this select. Ashton takes in the skinny jeans, t-shirt and books. The jeans have a hole in the knee. He hooks his finger through the frays and wonders what is in store for him with attire like this. Calum thinks nothing of the dress pants, leather boots and button up. There’s a leather jacket hanging from the door. He’s not sure if it’s for Michael so as he slides the bottom into his pants, he notices the sweatshirt Michael pulls on. The jacket is his then, he figures. He’ll wait to put that one. Each man also as a spare tank top or undershirt. They all forgo the nice shirts until they’re settled with all the deeds ironed out.

Ashton holds back the laugh, watching Luke slide into the suede chelsea boots. “I would ask what style choices you’ve made to wind up here, but I have a feeling not even you know.”

The jab is a tired one, but Luke laughs in an exhale. “Some sort of eccentric cowboy, I would guess.”

“That is one way to put it.” They finally gather at the dining room table. The apartment is mimial in it’s directions. A lot of blacks, gray, and blues. It’s homey with the chocolate brown accents. It’s best this doesn’t get too comfortable.

“If we’re dressing like this, it is safe to assume that we are not clerks at a market this time,” Michael grins.

Ḥauḥet smile, nodding her head at him. “Thank you for the obvious.” She slides a wooden box closer to them. “This time the stakes are a little higher.” Upon lifting the top, she reveals guitar picks and a pair of drumsticks. There’s no symbol or name yet. “Rather than taking the journey away from you, I left the name up to you all. But we’ve got to backtrack. Get you guys a name and story.”

A band, and if they’re famous enough, which they are bound to be, the stakes are high. They’ve got to keep quiet about their true forms. They have to keep a tight circle at first until they settle into their cover, until these names and stories because who they are, not who they are pretending to be; they must become one, much more so than before. They all glance to each other. Maybe they won’t be too big, maybe they won’t create too much noise about themselves. Maybe this is will be small.

“How far back are we going?”

“Right now, the goal is to age you all to about 22. We won’t go all the way to the beginning, we’ve got childhood covered. But to fourteen at the earliest. Enough time to cover most the internet age.”

They all nod, grabbing at the manilla folders she hands to them, birth certificates, licenses, phones, some cash. “You have old skin; when you’re ready, I can take you back, I can make you new.”

They know not to waste time. As they slide wallets into pockets, Ashton speaks. “No need to wait.”

With a nod, she turns to the kitchen. Her lips move almost silently as she sprinkles the last herb over the clay like mixture. It glows for a moment as the blessing falls from her mouth. Luke beams. “Oh, I don’t need that.”

She quirks her eyebrow, mouth pulled up to the side of her face. It it a silent plea for him to say something else smart. Ashton speaks up, “Not every one’s blessed to have been conceived and birthed in the same day. Now hush so she can continue.”

She paints their faces one by one, first down the bridge of their nose, over their forehead, around the jaw, covers the chin and then finally she covers their cheeks. The mixture is cold, but warms with the touch of her hands. Calum hears the whisper of a splash in his ears. His eyes are closed, the mud tightening around his skin. But he knows the sound of the water anywhere. Ashton feels her grip on the back of his head and lets his muscles relax. Her touch is sure. His nose just barely brushes the water before she pulls his head back.

A warning. He inhales deeply, expels that breathe and the nods, inhaling again. She dunks his face that time. The water is cold, ice cold. It makes his teeth chatter. But he grits his teeth, still failing at holding the shiver at bay. The fabric of the towel is soft as it swipes of his face. She holds it to his face for only a moment, before she wipes at his cheeks, chin, the outline of his jaw, over his forehead and down the bridge of his nose. When his eyes flutter open, she’s already moving to Michael, giving him the same warning before his face submerges into the wooden bowl of ice cold water.

Luke is dunked next. Then finally Calum. He needs no warning. She wipes his face clean. They’ve all been washed, brought to their age. Then she can go back. It won’t take them long to see what story to create. Her span is only a million years, forwards and backwards. Though most often, she only looks ahead. The past is done with her. There is no need to manipulate or review it. It does not matter if someone remembers it correctly, the history is written and it is final. She motions for all of them to take hands and as she pours all the used water into the same bowl that once held the mud mixtures, she pulls up a murky picture.

Michael knows what she’s doing. She’s letting them see what they want in it. They physically won’t travel back, they will just implant memories. “Three of us meet in the same school. Luke starts posting covers. The internet is a hard place to gain traction, to many people all striving for the same thing. But we know we can defy the odds. So,” he pauses, clearing his throat. “word gets around, Luke and I start playing together. And then Calum record some covers and the three of us are a band. But what’s a band without a drummer? A band it is not. I message Ashton over..” the story is losing him. He needs something to stay current.

“FaceBook,” she interjects. “Myspace is slowly dying at this point. FaceBook is gaining traction. You can make pages for bands up there, you can make a page for just about anything.”

Michael nods. “Yes, it’s just a simple message. Anything too flourished and wordy is not going to work. He agrees and it starts. I make the facebook page for the band. We don’t have a name, or at least one agreed upon. There’s a list. 5 Second Summer is a top contender.”

“But you make it 5 Seconds of Summer and ask us, after the page is made,” Luke jumps in. “I think that would add a nice touch.”

“We leave school. Record deals. Touring.”

“You get scooped up by another big band of the time. It’s massive,” Ḥauḥet adds. Michael adds on. Studio records, live albums, EPs, merch, crowds, sold out arenas. Style evolutions, which winds them all here, right on the brink of their third studio album. They’re still in the midst of recording it. This gives them time; they can settle into these personas. They can become real.

They beging work on their individual stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. But do not make it very far. Ḥauḥet settles in behind Calum. Michael’s hair is now finished, a long fringed cut hidden under a beanie. The tattoos that once looked like graphite marking on his skin darken the tattoos becoming real against his pale skin. Calum unravels the knot. “Cut it.”

“Are you sure?”

He nods. “I am.” They move from the living room floor, a mess already of hair, into the kitchen. She draws a small bowl of water, as he bends of the sink basin, she covers the scalp with the water. Just once and he stands, hair dripping down his navy tank and holds out his hand. She cannot cut his hair, not without his explicit consent. He takes the first whack, pulling the hair over his shoulder and snipping through the mass.

As it falls in black clumps at their feet, she prays over it. They let the fallen strands lay there and Calum hands her the scissors. “You can finish it.”

“How short?”

“Short,” is the only word he utters. So she cuts it short. Nothing too short, there’s still a couple inches of curls left for him. The apartment is put back together soon after she finishes making them over. She slides back into the black heels, clicking as she approaches the front door. This will be the last time she sees them until they return. She prays blessings over them.

“The water will stay good for three days,” she warns. “After then, the gates will close. Time will resume. You will have to go with whatever is imprinted.” Imprinted. It makes it real; it imparts into the universe and the universe does whatever it needs to make it so, photos, memories, people. Their fate will be sealed after three days.

They nod. Three days isn’t a lot of time for a cover of this scale. But keeping those imprinting waters open any longer increases a lot of risk. She continues, “You will have a little over a year. Here you will put together an album. Here you will embed yourselves into your lives. You will start here and you will go. I have faith.”

“Your faith means a lot,” Ashton says even though he’s the most eager, he understands the gravity of the situation. This is more pressure than they’ve ever dealt with. They still have stories to sort, places to figure out. But they are smart. They will be able to pull together a good cover.

They hold themselves up in that Australian apartment, sitting around a wooden ball with water and mud. They speak their lives into existence. Ashton dubs himself the unofficial dad of the band. And it works. He’s the one that pushes them constantly, wants bigger and better things. No one argues at the insistence. Calum is fairly quiet, they know that will continue on. Michael takes a chance on video games and anime, trying to find stories to connect with and finds himself entranced at the talent and worlds built. Stories come in many forms and he is not one to let any story go unturned.

On the second day, Luke is the first to crack. “We’ve got to do something. I can’t stare at these walls anymore.”

“We can’t blow our cover. We don’t have a solid story,” Michael counters, the kitten shaped headphones resting around his neck now. He’s been spending half his time sucked into video games and the other half still working out the kinks of their story. They only have one more day.

“Things don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be real,” Ashton says. “Whomever it is out there we’re meant to help just needs us to be real. Real people who hurt, who laugh, who cry.”

“How do you hurt?” Michael retorts. “What is your pain?”

“My pain is that I cannot save them all.”

“Everyone with an ounce of compassion hurts like that.”

Ashton sighs. Michael’s point is valid. They need stories, gritty and complex, not just soft generic ones. He remembers a small boy from many years ago, when they first started this prophecy. They sat on a grassy hill. They were all servants, but this boy was exceptionally young. He told Ashton how his father had left him. His mother was trying to find work, but every house she started to work for she would flee because someone in the house would make advances towards her. Ashton remembers from their time in the mid eighties towards the break of the 1990’s. He had found a kid, waiting on the corner, head covered with a hoodie. This boy, no more than thirteen, forced to sell, because he’s the man of the house due to his father’s death. Their pain is real.

“My father leaves me at a young age,” Ashton starts chest already aching as he remembers those boys, staring down into the murky water. He can pay homage to them in this life. He wasn’t able to magically turn their lives around when he was there. He couldn’t completely blow his cover. He did do what he could for them, grabbing them meals when he was free, giving him a few dollars here and there. “It hurts, seeing my mother so down. But I step up. It only makes sense right. She eventually remarries, but there is a lot more alcohol in the house. She tries to hide it. But nothing is ever really hidden. We all see pain. Especially children. Children know pain but sometimes never have the words for it.”

“You can give them the words,” Michael assures. No one is sure why it has to be a band. But the more they research what’s happening in the world, the way the political landscape is filling with more and more hate, it becomes obvious. People need a thing that unites them. They need something, or someone, that shows them they are not alone.

Ashton squeezes at Michael’s hand. “Yeah, I can do that. We can do that. That is--” he pauses, watching his reflection distorted as it may be, in the water. He wants to say that is Ashton’s story. But he is Ashton, this is his life now. This is his truth. This is his history now. “That is my story, working in food service, desperately wanting a way out for my family. Knowing I’d fight heaven, hell, and high water for them. Only knowing music as a way out. Being in band after band and needing release, a breakthrough.”

Michael nods. “And that is your story.”

“Why make yourself carry pain?” Luke questions. “You could’ve had any story.”

Ashton shakes his head. He couldn’t have chosen any story. “If all of us have no pain, how do we connect? Pain is a part of every story. Without it, what do we compare joy to. How do you know your joy?”

Luke steps to the kitchen table, bracing his weight on his arm. The water shakes just a little. “People know pain. Even in a two parent household with siblings and nothing but love, people can still know pain. It’s a pain to prove oneself. It’s a pain to think you know someone and they strip you of everything you thought you were. I know pain because I know what it feels like to have no clue who you are anymore. Just a kid trying his best but makes maybe a few bad decisions along the way, tries to put too many people in his life that aren’t good for him, but too stubborn to see it.”

Calum walks over next. He’s been stewing on this, writing down the words that fail to cross his lips. But now is the time. He sees himself, Ashton, and Luke in the water. They are waiting on him. They need him. “I know pain from broken trust. I know pain from the harsh drop of reality. Not everyone that says they’re your friend is actually your friend. People will share your secrets, they will expose you. Someone breaks my trust. Someone violates privacy, someone, anyone, everyone shares a private moment. I know pain from my own quietness, trying to bury that in bodies and only making myself more distant. I know pain from alienation and being other, for being different.”

Michael stands. He knows pain, he knows violence from his lives previous. “Pain is sometimes sneaky. My pain sneaks up, makes me think I’m all alone, that sometimes I’m not worthy. It makes me think that things can go wrong at the blink of the eye. I worry sometimes about things most people don’t bat their eyelashes to, my pain is quiet and yet somehow the loudest in my own ears.”

The water starts to bubble. At first it might seem like someone’s shifting of the table is making it slosh. It becomes clear that’s not the reason as steam starts to billow. The water bubbles, threatening to spill over the edges, but never hitting the table. All four men watch for a moment. A chill runs through all four of them as all the water evaporates into steam. The mud bubbles too, thins and then disappears. They have no clue where it’s gone.

“The gates closed,” Calum says after a few minutes of staring into the empty bowl.

“We still had a day,” Ashton huffs.

“She was listening.”

“So what next?” Luke asks.

“We sing, we make music. We help the world,” Ashton answers.

“We can’t do that here,” Michael counters. “We’ve gotta go somewhere else.”

The bowl moves. It’s subtle but Calum watches the slight movement. Something appears under the bowl. Another manilla folder. He picks up the folder, it’s thicker than it appears. When he peeks inside he can see plane tickets, there are deeds, photos. There’s a small packet for each of them. Of course she wasn’t actually done with them. Of course she had another trick up her sleeve.

All of them have experience with music in their lifetimes, here on Earth and away. But it it still a little strange to know that just four days ago they were driving up the coast and to walk into recording studios with people smiling at them, like catching up with friends. But it is catching up with friends. This is their life. “Enjoy your time at home?” they’re asked repeatedly throughout the day as the work.

The response is always the same. “Yeah, it was great to just relax. Got antsy though. Ready to work.”

But nothing prepares them for how hard this is. What’s their sound now? Where do they want to go? What do they want to say? What is their entire purpose? The play instruments is easy, it’s the putting words down that frustrates them. But they go out, they enjoy this newfound youth. It burns them of course. Like life does to everyone. Friends take advantage of their generosity, use them for only selfish gain. A couple of them strike out in love.

Calum brings the cigarette to his lips. He’s not proud of the new found habit. But it helps. He always tries to stay distant from people during these moments on Earth. Even though they are long, he knows he will not be staying forever. He will not grow old with anyone, he can’t. And it sucks, because he sees his family as actually his and he loves them. But they will never know him. They will just have Calum, but not the man in the flesh host. Never the man that can trouble waters. That’s the part he hates the most about this.

“Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we the ones to do it?” Calum questions standing outside the recording studio. “Why can’t we have love? Why can’t we have real lives?”

This disease of uncertainty and frustration usually hits all of them at some point. Ashton is trying to not get hit again, knowing what can happen. Calum wouldn’t dare try to split. He wouldn’t leave them. He knows it’s too important that they actually go through with this. The other three would have nothing if not for him. What life would he give determination to if there was no life in the beginning? Ashton pats him on the shoulder before dropping the hand and tucking it back into the pockets of his jeans. “This is a real life.”

“It’s like, crashing into reality. We get no ease. It’s like if you took someone and suddenly dropped them in Japan. They’d wake up with no way about.”

“Saying everyday you wake up, it’s like waking up in Japan.”

“Yeah, and I’m alone. But not necessarily. Just low.” He’s mostly pissed at himself. He met a nice girl, they had a great weekend together. But he knows he had to cut it off before it got any bigger, before it got any more serious. It’s easier to save face that way. As his eyes flutter close and his lungs pull in one more drag, the room number, her room number flashes, 305.

“Talk to me,” Ashton urges, noting the far away glaze to Calum’s eyes. So Calum spills his guts, tells Ashton everything maybe even a little too much, down to the room number. Ashton leaves Calum to his vice, to the smoke billowing from his nostrils and walks back into the room.

He’s got an idea. Ashton approaches Luke with the concept and with the help of a couple other writers, they conceptualize the rushed and dazed feeling of waking up somewhere new without even remembering how one got there. They put to sound, live in two takes, the bounce and electric feeling of a whirlwind life, of a life that keeps moving even when you’d wished for it to sit still.

The months tick past, sometimes feeling like seconds rather than days upon days. While sitting at home, resting, there’s a knock on Ashton’s door. Luke stands in front of him, eyes sunken into his face, the bright blue that once lived in his eyes dulled. “It’s bad,” Luke whispers. Ashton wants to tell him no shit. But he bites back the comment and pulls him inside.

It all starts with one night. And then one night turns into two. Then two turns into three. Luke knew ultimately, after the few few weeks, he should probably save himself. He wasn’t going nowhere. He was going downhill. But he wanted to make it last. He just wanted love, if only in the dark, if only it didn’t cause him so much pain. Luke cries into his hands, curled up at the foot of Ashton’s couch. “The worst--,” a hiccup interrupts him. Ashton sits next to him, gingerly rubbing at his back. “The worst part is that I know I shouldn’t go back to her. She’s no good, but I’m no good at saying no,” he huffs, face red and snotty.

The human existence is a rough one, not even gods are exempt from the pain. It is not a graceful descent into full humanity. They all hit their lows. “I wanted to trust her. I knew she was bad for me,” Luke sobs into Ashton’s shoulder. While Ashton may be known for his eagerness, his yearn to always be doing, sometimes Luke’s own stubbornness becomes his own undoing. This is not to say that achieving, or wanting, is wrong. But sometimes we want for the wrong reasons. We want the wrong things.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Ashton starts softly. “Pain is an indication of life. This is just life. Get knocked down seven times and stand up eight. We always get back up, okay? Even if it takes a while and even if our legs are unsteady, we get back up.”

“Am I alone?” Luke cries. “Is this all we’re destined for loneliness and pain? Am I crazy? Has this prophecy turned me insane?”

“You’re not insane. You’re not alone. You can never be alone with me. I’m always going to be here.” Always and here, what hollow words to Ashton’s ear. But he means them, deeply--truly. He means the essence of those words to his core. “You can stay with me for a little while. No one’s here but me. Bring Petunia over too. We’re family. By choice.”

It takes another twenty minutes for Luke to collect himself. The release of weight making him tired. Ashton watches for a moment as Luke lays, curled up on the couch cushions, a blanket thrown over his body. Tears sting behind his eyes. Why do their lives feel like they’re falling apart? This has never happened to them before. They’ve never been this high up it feels only to crash so far down. Ashton is grateful for a moment that walls cannot talk. They hear; they see. But if they could talk, they would have a lot to say, a lot of the dark corners to expose.

They hit a wall. So many songs about pain and reflection, but how do they package it all together. How do they give it out to the world? “People want to know they’re not alone,” Michael urges. “All our songs. All the pain. It’s so they know they’re not alone. We’ve created something incredible. It’s not just sound, it’s color, it’s taste too.”

“We know that. It’s evident they need a connection. But how do we get them to connect with us?” comes the rebuttal from Ashton. He’s restless having spent the better part of the day, trying to wrap his own head around the question. He wants to be doing something, creating, putting to use the buzz in his gut. But he’s here, across from Michael instead.

Calum has watched the exchange between Michael and Ashton for maybe off of a minute, coming in with some food for the three of them. Luke wanted something different, so he’s a couple minutes out from the studio. “We be honest,” he says with a shrug, setting the bag down. “We’ve got how many songs here that deal with heartache. Why shy away from the truth?”

Being vulnerable is a little dangerous for them. If they open up too far, if they say the wrong thing, everything could collapse. Calum is aware of this risk. But he knows it’s a risk they have to take. If they cannot even have an ounce of vulnerability, then the whole thing is for naught. It is just a waste if even in all their struggles, they attempt to hide that with their fans. Life is challenging just because they are in this position does not exclude them.

“So you propose, we risk everything?” It’s not meant to be a question as it falls from Ashton’s lips. But it’s something about it that seems right, but he knows it’s very wrong.

“Without risk there is no reward. What do we teach people if we refuse to learn ourselves?”

“We teach them nothing. We teach by example,” Ashton concludes. “Isn’t that how the entire world has worked at this point? They’ve been led by someone, something.”

“Aren’t we led by something?” Calum counters.

“But we’re led by the right things. So we let them, fans, anyone that listens. We tell them what drive us.”

Calum waves his hands around the room, even though it’s just the kitchen of the studio. “We are driven by honesty, intuition, failure, love, heartbreak, friendships, growth.”

“We are driven by our truest selves, the heartache and difficulting of making art. We driven by ourselves. We are driven by the fans.”

The dawn of a new year approaches them. The time of them huddle in away in dark corners, writing day in and day out are about to start paying off. Their risk, to be bare and vulnerable as possible, is going to start being real. Ashton sits, phone in hand staring out into sun just at it hits over the horizon The dark & light shared this year of my life in an incredibly unbalanced way. I had to further understand both sides of myself to continue becoming the songwriter & creative being I dream to be. It never ends & I don’t want it to x Ashton curses the character limit on twitter. It, without fails, always makes him go band and cut out some of the parts to his tweet.

The days tick by faster than ever. The first single set to release in February and January feels like it’s whizzing by. The holidays do that, it appears every time they come back. Time feels shorter and shorter to them here, as humans, as people. But time stretches on forever as gods. Maybe because time matters much less to them. Ashton fiddles with his phone again. There’s some sort of solace in knowing he can type whatever he wants and there are people listening. It’s terrifying, but it’s connecting in a way. It’s not lost on him on how disheartening social media can be. There is a whole screen, time zones, countries that divide users. They are not getting the instant feedback of someone’s face, someone’s tone at comments. His finger draft another message, another reach into the void to see if the void will reach back. The worst/best part is everything good In my life originated from heartbreak

They sit. They have to sit and they have to wait. But, even though the notifications are off, they can see the mess of their mentions. They can see the videos, people reacting to their return. Even though their hearts are filled with joy, they are not free from nerves. Radio interviews, magazine interviews, photoshoots, press comes at them with full force. They have to explain how the album comes to be, they have to explain that this is just an evolution, not discovery. But that feels inaccurate, incomplete. “We had to rediscover ourselves. We really had to ask ourselves what we wanted from this album and rededicate yourselves to this band.”

I wrote it for me,

I wrote it for you

I wrote it for us! Ashton concludes at the end of one tweet. The press isn’t easy, they are bounced around, like dots on a map. But the fact that they get to play shows keeps Ashton energized. He knows just on the other side of every microphone is the stage, the rumble of his bass drum shaking up his entire body. Just on the other side is the roar of a crowd excited to see him, to hear them, back at home, back at peace.

That shouldn’t be his peace, he thinks. But the rush of adrenaline feels so familiar to Ashton. The memories aren’t just memories; they aren’t just mud and water, they are pieces of his soul. A year. A whole year trying to become one with this persona and it’s happening, when he least expected to with drumsticks in hand and a crowd screaming back at him. He watches the other three men on stage night after night, this is home for them too. For a moment, for a brief blink in the cosmos this is the only place they belong.

________

“That flight was too early,” Michael mutters, pulling his beanie down over his face. He’s the first one to fall asleep on the couch. Luke nods off next to him, headphone cover his ears. Calum watches as the two guys doze off first and he shields his eyes as well. There are champagne flutes with mimosa’s littering the glass table in front of them, but they are almost too tired to celebrate. Tour is not easy, sleep seems evasive some nights and more cooperative during the day when they have things to do.

Sleep evades Michael the most some nights. His fingers twitch to play his beloved harp, but his shoulders are tense. He’s still watching bodies gather. The mass of dead but soon to be undead still haunt him, the ruins of his tongue still scrap the top of his mouth as he sings. His throat still closes up on him occasionally, making him wake in a panic. The flight’s not too early, he just didn’t sleep. He knows the other guys know what keeps him up. He claims it’s videogames, claims his body is just tired. But he wishes for his mind to finally ease. Nearly two years here and his brain still has not forgotten his years prior.

Michael wakes with a start, the tightness of his chest starting to burn. He’s still sitting on the couch with orange juice and champagne mixing in his nostrils. Ashton looks up from across the table, brow arched in silent questioning. Michael waves his hand. It is neither here nor there. Michael finds his phone, plugging in the cat eared headphones. He blasts YoungBlood into his ears. He hopes no more dead men walk after him.

“Youngblood wasn’t going to be next single. But it was just an extra song that you got when you pre-ordered the album. But we saw-we saw how people were reacting to it, so we decided to put it out.”

They know better than to hold their breath; they know not to watch those charts like a hound. But sometimes, that’s the only thing they know how to do. Youngblood smashes it way onto the charts and it stays, it climbs. It soars and with it go their hearts. How did they manage this? How did life reward them like this for all the shit they endured? But god are they grateful.

Even when times feel at their darkest... think of the people you call home & be strong. He is home; Calum knows that on the road with the other guys. They are his family, by choice, by fate, by the cosmos. But something in him misses the water. He shouldn’t go back. He shouldn’t step foot on a beach, near an ocean. Not with the fighting that occured, not with the history there, the bad blood that gathered there. It shocks him he doesn’t have more trouble on land. The ocean was his only resort. But he thanks his mother that he’s able to walk her dirt, her earth, and be safe. He knows she’s still protecting him while he fulfills his duties.

“You miss it don’t you?” Luke asks, watching the way the bassist fiddles with his rings. They’re doing press, but it’s clear he’s not here.

Calum nods. He was forced to sea, he was pushed away. But it provides him comfort. This is home to him but he has not forgotten what comfort feels like. “I only miss it when I’m not on stage or writing. I think it’s because I have too much time to think. Too much time to second guess myself.”

Without much thought, Luke draps his arm around Calum’s shoulder. He knows that feeling, the dizzying spiral when all your thought collapse in on themselves. And you’re left with the weight and mess to pull yourself back together. “Hold on just a wee longer,” Luke whispers as the next interviewer steps in through the door.

` Calum doesn’t miss the slight accent that falls through the sentence. “Next you’ll be pulling out your green tights, calling us laddies instead of mate.”

Luke can’t bite back the laugh that falls over his lips as he gently pushes against Calum’s shoulder. “You’re going to regret that, mate.”

When Calum opens to door and notices Luke dressed in shorts, compression tights and flip flops with a bag thrown over his shoulders, Calum doesn’t even open his mouth to ask why. He throws on his hoodie and sneakers. He makes sure his wallet and phone are with him and the men walk silently to the elevators. No words are exchanged in the back of the Uber either. Calum keeps his hood up and over his face, watching streets whizz by. He notes some seagulls. Sand. A beach. Calum turns to Luke. “What is this?”

“By some measures, it’s just a lake. It’s our day off, figured we earned the right to just relax.”

They thank their driver and slide out of the backseat. Calum settles onto the towel and slides out of his sneakers. It’s not barren, the shore, but it is definitely not packed. Though it’s not a shock in April on the East Coast. Once the socks are off, Calum stands and walks to the water’s edge. It’s freezing against his feet. It’s no sea, but he will take it. His lips start to move before he can stop himself. Blessings, blessings, and more blessings fall out of his lips. He thanks his mother.

Luke walks next to the man, shivering at the first contact. Some white filters through both men’s vision. It only last a second and the watch the tail of the bird fly away. “Much of YoungBlood isn’t just about my life here, as a musician,” Luke offers.

No one really discussed what past issues they were bringing to the table. They were just stories, things that had happened to them. Luke continues. “She flies for me, waiting for me to come back. She’s the one I want back.”

“And you tried to bury her in all the others.”

“Caer,” Luke whispers. Calum reaches out, holding on his shoulder. He’s never said her name out loud before, not to the guys. “My plan, before this happened, was to go to that lake. I would was going confess my love to her. I’ll never know could’ve happened between us. She’s kind of the inspiration Meet You There.”

Calum thinks of the lyrics, the chorus striking him. “Maybe one day you’ll meet her.”

Luke nods. “On that lake, where she still remembers me. Where I’m still able to reach her.”

_______

The pain is real, it is evident. They watch fans connect to song after song. They read the letters. This is what they were meant to to do, even with all the not fun issues, the fans showing up at their doorsteps, the sometimes cruel comments online. But the reward is much greater than the risk. Not just awards, not just another number one album, not just another chart topping song. The reward to see a mass of diverse faces unite under one love. They’re whole purpose was to create something to unite people. It is incredible to see that night after night; it is awe striking to having thousands of voices singing back to them the songs they wrote with so much vulnerability. It is amazing to see their work flying, topping charts. But to hear and see the hearts it’s touch means a lot more.

“Goddamn it, can I get the house lights on? I miss you guys so much,” Calum speaks into the mic. He continues his speech before inviting Luke to speak about the glittery blue blazer. The crowd is a sea of phone lights in front of them. The mass continues almost to a point where Calum can’t even fathom the massiveness. He brings himself back to reality to joke about a matching g-string. He finally gets to continue after a pause for Michael’s thoughts. “So, uh, tonight is a very special for a couple of reasons, number one my beautiful sister is the room somewhere. Number two I got my best friends and my brothers on stage, playing with these guys.”

And he means it. Calum means it from the bottom of his soul when he says they are his brothers. Who else rides out centuries of resurfacing onto the earth? Who else rides out the insanity of their fate but your brothers? Even when they clash sometimes creatively, even when the vision had to change and evolve time and time again, they stood by each other. Calum strums his bass as Michael speaks, heart soaring at how much London means to the band, hyping the crowd out for the few songs that they have left. This is a band of brothers. Four spirits who are only trying their best: Sea, youth and beauty, determination, and poetry.

What is their story without words? What are words without determination to put them down? What is determination without an aim and a goal for something beautiful? What is something beautiful without it’s mere existence?

Calum stands up on the riser, Michael mirroring him for a moment. Luke stands in the middle. Ashton builds up the anticipation before rolling into his drum solo. The lights are low, the red is flashing over them. The recording plays and the wind up begins. “Let me see you jump. Jump, jump, jump!”

This is their existence, as Calum cocks his hips, hands sliding up and down the bass strings. Michael steps down from the riser, face screwed up as his moves up and down the frets. Ashton rocks his whole body into the drumming, the sweat already soaking through his shirt. Luke leads them through the chorus again, working his old golden nails over his guitar. Everyone attempts to pour past, present and future onto that sage. They don’t know what they will the next time they are brought back. They don’t know who it is they are trying to reach. All they do know is that each time they’re brought here, they need to pour out love, understanding, unity.

Michael walks to the drum risers and Calum follows behind him, after getting the crowd ready to jump. They rip into their instruments, Calum twirls around, mic pack flying out of his pocket. Michael bows a little, letting the grooved metal slot against the grooves of his fingers. Luke bounces for a moment and there is a crowd shouting for them, but it is not just any crowd. It is a crowd brimming over with love. It is not their names they are shouting, it are all the other gods they are crying out for them. They are just the four chosen, but the four that need the credit. This is their second home, this is the place where they are putting everything out on the line. And the line is paying them back.

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daeneryswhitehorse · 4 years

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Deathly hollow written the same way as season 8 of game of thrones:

The battle of hogwarts happen mid book and Ginny is the one killing voldemort. With her bat boogey hex. While harry, who had 6 book to prepare for it, did nothing but scream at nagini.

Fuck the prophecy that was the focus of ootp! Actually, we learn that some vague shit Trelawney said in her class, in one of the previous book, was actually the true prophecy to defeat voldy! And she wasn't even in trans when she did it. After the battle, the seer went dying somewhere.

We learn nothing about the horcrux, RAB, the deathly hollow, and all the other mysteries introduced in previous book.

The centaurs who helped during the battle, don't ask for more rights, but went dying somewhere to not bother the wizarding world anymore.

Ginny decided to not go back with Harry, even if they had sex before the battle, and then went to accomplish her unestablish dream of becoming a wizarding astronaut. Because we don't know what's in space.

Neville learn that herbology actually suck and his grandma was right. Even when he is the first person to cure the Greengrass blood curse, thanks to a book in the restricted section of the hogwarts library. When his girlfriend hannah abbott find useful information there, he took credit for it. He then spend all his time bragging about his feats in the battle of the departement of mysteries and of the astronomy tower to Ron and Harry. He stole the sword of gryffindor instead of earning it. But nearly died during the battle without doing anything important. He get rewarded at the end of the story by becoming both the headmaster of hogwarts and part of the board of governors.

Draco had a quick redemption arc after he understood his parents belief in blood supremacy was bad, got forgiven of his past bullying because it was all harry's fault actually, and everyone conveniently forgot about what happen to katie bell and ron last year. He fought side by side with our heroes during the battle of hogwarts. But in the aftermarth, he decided his parents were more important than equal rights and fuck off. He had a meaningless fight with Greyback and died with his parents.

The second part of the book is about how Hermione is trying to crush Percy Weasley tyranny and change the ministry racist system that put pureblood wizard above muggleborn and other magical race.

Yes the Percy Weasley tyranny. The ambition of this man had no limit. It wasn't voldemort that managed to overthrow the wizarding governement, but him by blowing up the minister of magic, the wizengamot and other important political figures. And without suffering any consequences for this. The wizarding world completly accepted it.

Anyway, while he prep for his war against Hermione, he tried to procure some Graphorn for his army, and was dissapointed when he found out it was impossible. It pushed him into making reckless decision, like having sex with Greyback.

In Hermione side, even with their established rivality, the twins were not particulary happy to fight against their dear brother. They have such a pure heart and want a bloodless war. Same with Harry and Ron who tried to convince her to negociate peace with him. But it failed, and Luna Lovegood, all the poc in the books, the Grangers, Grawp and Dobby died because of it. McGonagall did warned her to not listen to man's clever plan. She is a gryffindor, what she need is to be a lioness!

Before this, the male character of the story, as well as Ginny and a jealous Fleur Delacour, who got prop up as the smart girl in this book, all think Hermione is going crazy and becoming a second Voldemort.

They have multiple reason to believe in this:

Both Hermione and Tom Riddle jr were considered the brightest witch/wizard of their age. And Hermione use a similar spell to the dark mark to call the DA member. It mean they are the same.

Hermione was the only person that didn't trust Draco immediatly when he came to them, wich show she is mean spirited and unforgiving

Her cat crookshank ate Trevor, Neville pet toad. It make him sad and he told Harry she was crazy.

She tried to reconciliate with Fleur who for some reason keep being catty with her.

She was a bit too emotional and try to save people during the battle, instead of staying rational and pragmatic like Harry.

She didn't like that her boyfriend Ron took all the credit of her achievement during the battle.

She was sad and lonely at the victory party while everyone was having fun.

She threaten the wizarding world by wanting equal right for everyone while every wizard are racist and xenophobic. This filthy mudblood was not one of them!

But after she started grieving, people knew she had lose it.

Her first act of madness was killing Snape, after he spend a week trying to poison her and telling everyone she was crazy, and that Harry should become the minister of magic over her because he is a man.

Her second act of madness was trying to have sex with her boyfriend after killing Snape, and taking it badly when he rejected her. Wich mean she will now rule the wizarding world through fear.

Her third act of madness was making draco her prisoner after it was clear he was not on their side anymore. And refusing to give him the second chance Harry wanted.

It all obviously lead to Hermione burning down muggle street, to take down the ministry of magic, with a powerful fiendfyre spell. She then got her army to execute on sight any living pure blood.

The twins and Ron were all super sad that Percy died and refused to be part of Hermione rule. So she put them all in prison.

Ron manage to convince Harry to kill her because Hermione has always been evil. First she came from the slavers with spew, and they thought she was weird. Than she came for Umbrage, and they thought it was awesome! But it all lead to her believing herself to be moraly superior to everyone and that only she can do no wrong. And since she will never understand that what she did was bad, she need to die.

So he killed her easly and went to Azkaban for two days. Crookshank was pissed and scratched the still intact fountain of magical brethren, before dragging away the body of his human.

People say fuck muggleborn, and the sorting hat was named Minister of magic by Ron Weasley in prison. And he became part of his governement, with dude like Mundungus Fletcher as the head of the departement of magical law enforcement, and Nymphadora tonks as the chief auror. They then vote for Brexit decades before muggles did.

We learn that the true heart of the story was the Weasley family, so it end with all of them getting separated for an undetermined time. It's all bittersweet.

#anti got #pro dany

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kevv · 4 years

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a goodbye letter- abandoning current social media

i'm not the best at writing out my thoughts. forgive me if this feels scrambled and scraped together. my best friend, Fox, once said in abridged words; "it takes two to play out an abandonment fantasy, one to have it, and the other to follow suit".

i've known several handfuls of people who fear abandonment, or more specifically, being the one abandoned; scared that one day everyone in their life will take leave. and sometimes, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, they do. they leave in mass exodus, set into motion by one person who wants to set-forth their own abandonment fantasy– abandoning everyone else.

for me, my own fear of abandonment is not anyone abandoning me, i'm unbothered by people entering my life and leaving of their own accord; i'm scared i'll be the one to abandon everyone in my life. because i have. several times. i still do, even. i'll meet people in my lifetime that i loved harder than the universe itself, a deep love so terrifying i feel that it'll demolish cities and townships, friends and lovers and found-family. my skin will buzz and blaze alight with such an intense fear, a fear that i will ruin them and everything they are so i must run. it's unfounded, but it drives me away, and i fight tooth and nail to get to that escape route for those who won't let me leave quietly, until it ends in disaster. it's my own abandonment fantasy. i recall once, an ex-lover wanted me to stay. tried to lock the door and toss away the key, and said it hurt that i wanted an out. so i caused problems until i could break out through the window. not being allowed an option to leave made me feel like a feral, caged animal; because in the end, that's all i am. i hadn't done it on purpose. the need to escape everything had been there months prior. the events leading up to it had been fuzzy at best, sickly at worst, and i had been spoonfed misinformation. not on purpose, not in malicious intent, but still it struck genuine fear in my heart. like a feral animal, i want the option to roam. to come and go as i please. i can't be kept, i just want the trust that i'll find my way back eventually. if i feel contained, i scratch and bite until i'm released. but if you hold out your hand and wait patiently, i'll come to you. but don't ask me to stay. please don't ask me to stay. there's a lot that lead up to this current migration. the inability to be allowed to stand on my own two-feet and exist as just purely Kevin, not adjacent to someone, was a big one. still to this day i am asked about a youtuber i am no longer affiliated with by my own choice. i don't like attention, it's something i've said to her, said to many, and why i chose to never appear in her videos. which seems contradictory for an artist who posts on social media and previously did all of her older channel art. but maybe now i'm realizing that truthfully, i wanted recognition for me, not for others or for who i made myself sick in order to create content for. it's inescapable. i harbor no hard feelings anymore, i understand i was in the peak of my codependency and was willing to ruin myself for the benefit of another. to run myself broke and dry because at 19 years old i was still a child who didn't know how to handle the extent of his emotions. i want to apologize to penny. neither of us are really blameless, but we were inexperienced and young– still young. it's easy to not know what we're doing, to unintentionally take advantage of someone who was willing to burn themselves to give you warmth, or to latch onto an unfounded rumor and bare my teeth. i hope you're doing well, and i'm sorry. i'd like to give you a proper apology one day, when i'm more ready. that day is not today. sometimes i feel like there are four people living inside my brain, all with dissenting opinions and voices that i can't tell who i am anymore. i feel like i'm constantly contradicting myself because i don't know what my own thoughts are. i don't know who i am anymore. i don't know who i am anymore because i'm several different people all trying to be "kevin", all with different beliefs that go against a previous one. i prematurely deleted my twitter account for this reason, i couldn't stand a second more of being in a toxicity cycle i had previously taken part in, because sometimes that's all social media is. it's very... Online. i want to be one, unified person. whose thoughts and feelings are unadulterated by others surrounding him. additionally, there's the elephant in the room. some have already guessed it, suspected it, saw something like it coming from miles away. but for others who have known me for the past decade, it might be a surprise. someone once told me that words have power, and while at the time i disagreed, i'm starting to understand what she meant now. i've been afraid to speak it into existence, because it means it's real, and coming to terms with this unavoidable truth is a terrifying experience, one i need to face and stop running away from.

i'm detransitioning. giving life to this phrase doesn't make me feel any better. words have power, and that power is to make me crumble and break. since as early as 4 years old, i felt as if i was born a boy who was just being raised as a girl. at 12 was when i learned about and started identifying as transgender. at 18 i legally changed my name. for a decade, i lived as a transgender man. i've mentioned this before, but i'm intersex. i have an androgen insensitivity syndrome. what this means is that androgens, male sex hormones, have no effect on me. they instantly are reconverted back into estrogen by my body. this has been a reoccurring nightmare of mine since i was 14, and having it become my reality is.. heartbreaking, to say the least, crushing a lifetime of dreams and wishes. i've tried testosterone, self-medicated in my teen years, and "officially" more recently. it has no effect on me. a friend of mine says i shouldn't give up hope until i properly see an endocrinologist about HRT, but the reality is– i know my body, and i know my condition. i don't grow body hair, and my body cannot masculinize. these are unavoidable truths. i don't need to spend hundreds of dollars to be told what i already know. HRT will not affect me; i will never be able to transition. any attempt will become a scientific study in which i'm a guinea pig. i don't want that. i will never pass for male. my voice is high, my body is undoubtably female, my face is feminine, and i'm 4'11". it's disheartening and i've shed many tears over it. for what feels like my whole life, i've longed for SRS/GRS, top surgery, a deeper voice, and a couple inches of height. i ache for body hair, masculine fat redistribution, and male pattern baldness. all the good and the bad associated with testosterone is what i so desperately yearn for with such a soul-crushing depravity. i am genuinely heartbroken. maybe it's my punishment for all the bad things i've believed in or done. it's what i'd deserve, i guess. this punishment. it is for those reasons that i feel like i can no longer find comfort in identifying as ftm, to struggle seeing myself as a man. it's crazy, i've referred to myself as male since early childhood, and now that i'm coming to terms with my intersex condition am i feeling wrong in every conceivably way of identity. truthfully, i don't even identify as anything anymore. i'm not nonbinary, cis, or i guess trans. i feel as if i just exist. i just am. you can still call me kevin. it's my name, my legal name– which i love to point out. i'm not changing it. it's the first time i made a decision purely for myself, and went through with it. i love my name. i don't think i will love anything about myself quite like my name. i chose it when i was 12, it was my first choice. i never wanted another name. i still don't. but i like nicknames, particularly kitty and K-K. you can call me those too. these have always been options available. i reiterate– i really like being called nicknames. (: you can still use male pronouns for me. i never minded being "misgendered" because, well, i never passed, and i made peace with that years and years ago. while being called she/her or otherwise will probably always leave a stale taste in my mouth, i've learned to accept the reality of what i am a long time ago. biologically female. you can still use male identifiers for me, like husband or boyfriend or whatever other male terms there are...... actually you'll have to pry those out of my cold dead hands. i will not accept being called a "girlfriend" i will literally go feral and foam at the mouth and bite your ankles until you take it back. there's comfort in these things that i'm not ready to let go of, and frankly, i don't think i'll ever feel ready to. moving forward, i don't really know what i'm going to do. right now i'm taking a break from the internet, so i can soul-search and truly find myself, in all senses of the word and every iteration that it can be built upon. i'll make a new twitter account when i'm ready to, probably. there's a lot more i want to say, to add onto this in addendum, and pour so much of myself into this until it spills out the sides and trickles down into tiny cracks. but truthfully, i don't know how to say it. i don't know its relevancy to this eulogy of an account, and quite honestly, there are still some things i can't find myself able to say. to speak into existence. to give power to those words. admitting aloud to a 6-year long love that burnt like candles catching a home on fire was intense enough (hi Charlotte it's you, it's you and it's always been you and everyone knows this). so maybe i'd rather keep some things to myself, perhaps. preferably. so i guess that's it. i've bared my heart and soul and skin and bones to whoever will read this piece of myself. it's the end to katidoj, one that's been a longtime coming. i've never been very good at staying in one place for very long. please take care, i love you. and i'll miss you. a piece of my heart left with you, here buried deep in this account. (pressing the submit button has never been so hard in my life.)

#goodbye. i hope to be a better version of myself the next time we meet.

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queenrhenpendragon · 4 years

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You know whose arc gets me every time?

Dameon’s. Dameon Maurva's arc is so beautiful and significant and affects not only himself but multiple other characters and also the entire heckin plot of the game and it moves me Every. Single. Time.

So I’m going to rant about it, welcome to the post I’ve been waiting to make for fourteen years.

First of all, this precious sun, this dear one, this absolute angel, was most likely raised mainly by an Ahriman sympathizer-- like, c'mon, am I supposed to believe Talia kept a child in the dream realm? Even without the nightmares it's dangerous, and very isolated. If something were to happen there would be nowhere she could send Dameon while she dealt with it. It’s one thing in fanfiction, but when I actually consider the logistics, either she was a truly terrible, irresponsible parent, or Dameon lived in Aveyond with his father. I've played Ahriman’s Prophecy; responsibility is Talia's middle name. Dameon was raised in Aveyond.

He has to have been a lonely child. He most likely had no human friends, and definitely none his age. Maybe the binis or fairies or sometimes Vata babysat him when Mr. Maurva was unavailable. Maybe not. Either way, such contact couldn’t replace his need for love and validation from his incredibly busy and important parents.

He probably constantly sought his parents' approval and was constantly falling short because how do you impress an immortal sun priest, millenia old and the last of his kind? Especially one who is apparently becoming disenchanted with the ideals he once fought for, the ideals his fellow priests died for. How do you impress a half-fairy who saved the world at the tender age of 17, who then became the Guardian of Dreams and is responsible for the safety and well being of every mortal creature? Especially! When! You only see them when they’re not busy keeping the universe running smoothly!

Furthermore.

Please understand that I love Talia and do not wish to vilify her in any way. I point out her flaws because I love her, because her shortcomings are so human and tragic and are part of what make the story as impactful as it is. And Talia... does not easily express affection. She is not likely to have cuddled Dameon during the times his father took him to the Dreamworld-- which just can't have been often, I just can't imagine a parent who even kind of cared about their child taking them to such a place frequently. She is not likely to have praised him or spent any notable amount of time showing interest in his interests. I do not say this to condemn her. She had a lot of responsibilities. She had never been a mother before-- and yes, she had a great example of motherhood in her Grandmama, but her own mother also left her in the care of others, abandoned her to pursue a louder call. Is it any wonder that she ultimately did the same to her own child?

She has no real relationship with Dameon. Even without all the evidence I have already laid out, this much is obvious in the way they speak to and about each other. Talia doesn't even mention Dameon is her son when she first tells Rhen about him. She gives him no more than an epithet, "Dameon, the sun priest." She does not express particular concern over his safety, even though she knows the druids are in danger and she herself was almost killed.

And Dameon calls her “mother,” and it is not because of the dialogue style of the game. Talia calls her parental figure “Grandmama.” Rhen calls Tailor “Pa” and “Daddy,” and Ma is known only as “Ma.” But Dameon calls Talia “Mother,” and his father “Father,” because that is the level of familiarity between them. The Maurvas live a strict, solitary life. Is it any wonder that Dameon is stiff and formal at the beginning? Is it any wonder he struggles to connect with others beyond a thoughtful compliment or an antiquated form of greeting? He doesn’t like himself, let alone trust himself. No one has ever taught him how to. He is so isolated, and lonely, and touch-starved, and unloved, and if that was the end of his character it would still move me. But there is more.

Talia literally killed his father, her own husband. It had to have happened when Dameon was still very young. If you take into account Devin’s apparent age, and the fact that a barely-aged Jack in av2 remembers Alicia as queen of Thais when we know that you can only ascend to the throne of Thais if you are married, and a few other details which I would be happy to pull up if anyone is interested, you will realize that Dameon can’t possibly be more than a year older than Rhen. More likely, he is younger, and this would be in line with the other canon ships we see throughout the Aveyond series.

And we found out in Rhen’s Quest that his father was murdered “many years ago.” MANY! YEARS! He was still a child, maybe 11 years old, at my best guess. He most likely hadn’t even attended a magic school yet. It’s possible he wasn’t even thinking about it. And then he had to take the position as Druid of Light. When he was a child, still mourning the death of the person most precious to him, at the hands of the only other person he could have had any semblance of a relationship with in all of Aia.

The people who were supposed to be teaching Dameon how to be gentle, loyal, and upright instead taught him how to hurt, and betray, and murder those closest to him. Even without Ahriman's influence, how is a child raised in that environment supposed to turn out healthy and good?

And yet he is still good! He is gentle and thoughtful towards not just Rhen but everyone he meets on the quest. That includes heckin MAD MARGE if you forgot. That includes an actual ogre. That includes people who are spiteful and dismissive towards him. He treats Rhen like she outranks him, the Guardian of the Sun, when she is still a peasant with a practice sword. He is kind to literally everyone except Talia, and he is at least respectful even to her. He never raises his voice at her. He never calls her anything except Mother. Never traitor, never murderer, never any of the curses we know Amanda had no qualms about using because she used them plenty in AP. Just Mother.

In fact he appears to be the reason Ahriman decided against killing Talia. Yes, Dameon wants justice for his murdered father. I think anyone who is being honest with themselves can admit they would, too. But he doesn’t want to kill her. He doesn’t want her to die. He just wants her to understand what she did, to understand the hurt she caused. He is apparently so against killing her that Ahriman has to change his carefully laid plans before he can convince Dameon to change sides.

And consider. During all of this, Dameon is literally possessed by Ahriman, or under his demonic influence, or however you want to phrase it. This influence likely began even before the game, but even if you ignore that, it is no small thing. Remember how quickly Mel became corrupted under this influence? Remember how quickly Galahad, who resisted the urge to drink blood for actual centuries, became corrupted? The fact that Dameon has any shred of goodness at all, after years of exposure to such darkness, even if you ONLY take into account the actual duration of the game, is evidence that Rhen is right; Dameon has a genuinely good, incredibly strong heart.

And speaking of that conversation. Please allow me to share some of my favorite screenshots in the entirety of the series.

My precious sun really went from this:

To having this very level-headed and respectful conversation, of which I have shared only two tiny snippets:

To THIS:

This. Is tangible, real difference, at a rate which makes sense, and I am so proud of him. I have seen people try to dismiss it, and his other development, by saying he is just pretending in order to make Rhen trust him. That literally. Does not make any sense. First of all, if this was part of his efforts to persuade Rhen to join Ahriman he would have done absolutely anything except agree that perhaps Talia was right. He would have tried to convince Rhen that Ahriman was right, not admitted he may have been wrong. And second, even if you ignore that incredibly obvious discrepancy, he either would have forgotten about the conversation with Rhen by the time they returned to the sun shrine and his mother asked him the question again, or he would have pretended to have forgiven her completely. Instead, he acts as though he is uncertain, because he is uncertain.

And his actions in the dream realm, confronting and fighting Agas for attacking his mother and desecrating her shrine, prove that he is sincere. Of course it takes him some time. Of course he hesitates. Forgiving someone for taking your parent from you is an enormous act. Forgiving someone you trusted for causing you that much pain is unfathomable. His progress is profound and inspiring and does not deserve to be treated like any less.

And he makes this progress while still under Ahriman’s influence! Can you even imagine! Aasgakadgjlkjklj. He tries to do what he believes is right even at the cost of those things most precious to him, his beliefs and ideals and the sacred memory of the person who raised him. ONE conversation prompts him to question everything. While Ahriman still has possession of him. I cannot even begin to comprehend being that brave. And this is just one small example.

I have seen many negative, unfair evaluations of the fairy dust scene. It is deeply tragic to me that such an important, eloquent, beautiful symbol could be so widely misunderstood. I have tried to explain it before. Allow me to indulge myself once again.

Fairy dust always reveals the truth. This effect is well established, not just in Rhen’s Quest but even in Ahriman’s Prophecy. It heals physical wounds (aka HP) and reveals the truth, and that’s all. There is never any indication that it can change hearts or magically “goodify” anyone or anything. It is not a deus ex machina. It was included specifically to exclude the possibility of that interpretation. It only reveals the truth, and if Dameon had already been aware of the truth, or if he truly honestly wanted the same things Ahriman wanted, it would have changed exactly nothing. That’s why Rhen’s choice to use it is so significant. It shows that she trusts him, as he is. She knows that he has a good heart and will do what is right when he knows what that is; she has been saying so for the whole game. In the final battle she gets the chance to prove she believes that.

And she does.

And she’s right.

When the truth is revealed to Dameon, he follows it, at the cost of his chance for justice, at the cost of living forever, safely, with the one person who has ever shown him any significant amount of affection, at the cost of everything he ever dared to want in his short, lonely, miserable life. While still under Ahriman’s demonic influence! Ahriman is still in his head! And he chooses to resist even though it means he will lose everything.

Now, this whole plot could have worked without the fairy dust. Previous cutscenes in the game have already proven that Dameon listens to Rhen. The screenshots I included are just a few examples of this; trust me, I could go on for a while. Dameon believes her and believes in her and trusts her, where he doesn’t trust himself. Amanda could have had Rhen just tell him what to do. Rhen could have had another conversation, told Dameon to switch back, and that would be that. It would be consistent and believable with what had happened in the game thus far.

Except then Dameon still wouldn’t trust himself, or like himself. He would still be lonely and self-loathing and miserable, or even if he wasn’t, there would be plenty of room for that interpretation.

But instead Rhen gives him a choice. Instead Amanda makes it clear that his redemption is not Rhen’s responsibility, or her decision, or her doing at all. All Rhen does is throw the fairy dust, and then lets Dameon realize what is right, and choose for himself what action he will take. She gives him the opportunity to trust himself, to believe in himself, for perhaps the first time in his life. She makes it clear that she believes in him. She gives him the support he’s been starving for his entire existence, and then she steps back, and let’s him choose.

This part is so significant for her arc, too. I have ranted about it elsewhere but allow me to sum up: Rhen has spent the game feeling like she doesn’t have a choice, and questioning her own judgement and her own significance. Dameon is the first to give her a choice, one which she seriously considers. She realizes she’s always had a choice. And she finally acts on her own judgement, without prompting from anyone else (in fact, without prompting even from the player, because as you might recall the choice the player is offered has always been “fight Dameon,” and yet Rhen never lifts a finger against him). She trusts her own heart and invites Dameon to trust his. She has always been a hero but this is the moment she really steps fully into the role. She saves herself. And then she gives Dameon the choice to do the same.

And they fight Ahriman, at staggering personal costs. Dameon fights while, again, still under Ahriman’s influence. He has to fight Ahriman physically and mentally, or spiritually, or all of them, most likely. He is not free until Rhen plunges the Sword of Shadows through Ahriman’s heart.

This part. I cry every time and I am crying thinking about it. Dameon has been a prisoner for likely as long as he can remember. His father supported Ahriman. He likely let that influence into the sun shrine. He let it affect Dameon. Dameon has likely never known a life without that darkness. Or if he did, he was too young to remember it. And now, finally, he is free. There is light for the first time. And because Rhen gave him a choice, he has the confidence and experience to stay free, to make himself and be proud of himself and not be just what he thought his parents wanted.

His gratitude to Rhen is profound. He has always been respectful and supportive of her, he has always listened to her and trusted her, as demonstrated during their first conversation when she meets him in Aveyond, and their conversations in the manor in Sedona, and every other tiny interaction they have. He looks up to her immensely.

And I think that is part of why he is so resolute about continuing in his role as the Druid of Light. Rhen has spent the game shouldering responsibilities that no one else could or would. Being the Guardian of the Sun is his responsibility, and he is determined to follow her example.

It is also the only thing he has ever known.

In the midst of his own uncertainty, still reeling from his own losses, resigned to a lonely eternity in his childhood prison, he still offers Rhen his support and devotion. This is before she ever makes her choice. He listens to her, sympathizes with her, and encourages her. He loves her, explicitly, out loud in canon dialogue, in literally. Every ending. No matter what she chooses. Nobody ever taught him how to love and yet he does it so scrupulously.

And in the canon ending, the True Ending as many of us like to call it, he finally, finally gets a chance to grow beyond his family’s legacy. To love someone and be there for her. To be adored by her. To be happy. To make a difference. To live a good life and die of old age and be buried beside his best friend and true love, and to face the shadowy unknowns of the afterlife together. And he accepts it, in an instant.

This is redemption not only for himself but for Talia, and Nino. All the Maurvas with their good intentions, who never got to see their happy ending because another call was too strong. Talia gets a second chance to watch her son grow, this time in a kinder world. And she gets a second chance with one of her dearest friends. Nino's legacy of absence and broken trust is finally set right. They all get a second chance to become who they intended to be, before they heard the calls they could not ignore. All because Dameon chose truth and love over every other voice, at every cost.

It was a very fairy-like thing to do. In overcoming his families' legacy, he steps into their true heritage. Aian Fairies value truth and love most of all.

There is an inscription on the statue that guards the fairies in AP. It has always resonated with me and I think it will help describe what I mean here:

Heart of gold thy secret guards

Love, felicity, light

Gaia's precious children

I am moved. I do not know a better way to say it. Dameon Maurva inspires me, and comforts me. His example has made me a better person. He has made me a happier person. I am so grateful to Amanda for being brave enough to tell the story she did, and being brave enough to stick by it. Her story changed my life and I honestly, truly do not believe I would be here without it. Her story saved my life, and I can never praise it enough.

#aveyond #dameon maurva #aveyond rhen's quest #aveyond 1 #talia maurva #rant

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iamtaran · 5 years

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Notes on episode one

Sometimes when you’re feverish and hopped up on Niquil you just gotta rewatch the Witcher and type out your feelings in the notes app on your phone. “Writing down things I noticed” quickly became “writing more meta”, so! A look at how Geralt is different in this episode, and his relationship with Renfri the Shrike, Witcher dogma, and choice.

(in my defense i tried to keep things short by writing in bullet points but lol that’s cute)

-Geralt is so much softer in this episode. He is more open. He is by no means chatty or friendly, but he wears neutrality well. It’s obvious he expects people to treat him badly and turn him away just as much (or more) than he expects cooperation, and he is willing and able to accept either. He is a man doing a job. He asks for the alderman’s house, is inoffensive and neutral when the man chases off the helpful barmaid and tries to turn away. He tries to de-escalate— just tell me where it is and I’ll go. When that still doesn’t work and they threaten him, leave or on the end of the rope, he rolls with it, even jokes, “not a hard choice.” He isn’t angry, doesn’t even seem more than slightly annoyed, really. He’ll go. He had been open to the possibility of things working, and to the possibility that they might not, so he takes the hand dealt. This Geralt is so different to the one we see in future episodes, who is much more jaded, cynical, even bitter. He’s not quite as able to meet people with that same neutrality.

-This Geralt is much more ready to accept the outstretched hand. He jokes in this episode. Look at his first interaction with Renfri when she helps him. He is slightly wary, but accepts the beer she buys him with curiosity. At her self-deprecating mention of a horrified mother, he jokes, “Our secret, then.” Earlier in the episode, there’s his humor and scorn for Stregobor, “All the good predictions rhyme.” He listened to all Stregobor’s bullshit with neutrality, likely trained as Witcher’s are to hear out people even when the job isn’t one a Witcher does. He doesn’t pander; he is straightforward, but also not purposefully offensive or aggressive until it is deserved. Even then, he works to remain even tempered— his greater and lesser evil speech, his blandly delivered disdain for Stregobor’s admissions of kidnapping and killing innocent women. His emotions break through now and then, but he gets them back in check. He keeps his distance. But the humor. We see Geralt’s sense of humor in later episodes as well (“these views” to Triss comes to mind) but it is so much more freely given in this episode. Or it’s less surprising compared to his more open stance. He is utterly charmed by Marilka, he enjoys the back and forth with Renfri, he smirks when they cross verbal blades over what it means to be a monster and she tries to get a rise out of him. He is amused when she posits “what is they come after you?” Because for him that’s a given; that’s part of the Witcher job description! Of course people fear the mutant warriors. Of course he gets chased away, turned away. Of course they have come after him, and he was trained to be ready for that eventuality and to accept it like any other part of the job, not with violence and resentment but with a shrug and then to move on. So much of what changes between episode 1 Geralt, who is maybe in his mid forties, and later Geralt, in his 50s-80s, is that he is not as readily able to keep that neutrality in him. He is not able to keep his carefully trained emotional distance, no matter how badly he wants to or how well he puts up the front. He has become jaded to the fear, the hate, the misunderstanding. (And it goes the other way, too, with softer emotions. He is definitely not keeping his distance when he fights to be allowed the save the Striga princess, when eh tries to gift Renfri’s brooch to her, for instance.) And a lot of it starts here, in Blaviken, where Geralt saved the innocent citizens of the market by killing a woman he had in fact liked and understood to an extent— and still he gets a stoning for it.

-Geralt just all around feels younger here. When do Witcher’s first leave Kaer Morhen to walk the Path? 18? 20? 22? The way he describes his first monster to Roach and the line “Yeah... I thought the world needed me, too;” I can definitely believe he was that young. (Imagine 18-20 year old Henri Cavill as Geralt. Imagine, I dare you. It’s darling.) So he’s been on the Path for 20, 25 years maybe. Wandering with his horse, seeing much of the continent for the first time, taking jobs and facing down monsters, many of those for the first time, too. A heavily trained young man who had been prepared for a hostile world, for monsters and money, to live a job and take what is given. Witcher training is quite practical and unromantic when it comes to how they are trained to view and interact with the world. But it is still a romantic version of young Geralt we find in his tale. So ready to save a young woman, hotheaded and with messy strikes against a mere human when the Geralt we know is shown as nothing less than controlled and precise. The quite unromantic response of the rescued pokes fun at himself, completed with his self deprecating jibe, “yeah. I thought the world needed me, too.” Grown up from his first days on the Path, this Geralt is still young, comparatively. Before the episode is done we see him grow up a bit more. Also, just the way he interacts with Marilka rings so much like an older brother. That little smirk!

-So Geralt is younger, less jaded, more open. He is also more vulnerable, or at least he reads that way. Rewatch that kiss and tell me that their closeup doesn’t frame Renfri as the initiator and Geralt as the vulnerable, soft-eyed receiver.

-dang it, he just likes Renfri. Almost immediately. Maybe two lines into their dialogue and his wariness fades. Renfri is young, but she burns brightly. She is fierce and firm in her handling of the situation and her men, wry and a little sardonic, she isn’t afraid of him and even teases him— shouldn’t have taken the back roads, should buy some new clothes. Then she draws closer and flirts as she pours him another beer when the barman refuses to serve them both. (And that line before Marilka interrupts, along the lines of “Seems everywhere I go I find more and more monsters these days,” its so obvious she was about to broach the topic of Stregobor with him. Or is that just me?) In the woods, her presence doesn’t alarm him when she approaches. He lets her keep his back, even knowing what Stregobor had told him. He goes back and forth with her on the matter of monsters and one’s own actions— which, phew, the commentary that gives on Witchers. An inherent conundrum of being taught that they, mutants, are inherently monstrous compared to humans yet must in their line of work, as traditionally neutral parties, remain neutral or risk acting the part of the monster. Their strength should not be turned against anything that is not a monster and a danger or it risks becoming monstrous, being used to monstrous purpose. “Great power, great responsibility.” Regardless, he enjoys going back and forth with her. He liked her fierceness, respects it, sympathizes with her and views her as the wronged party in the affair with Stregobor. Yet still he tells her, the responsibility is hers to walk away from the violence. Go live your life. A truly Witcher response. He doesn’t stop her following him to his camp. He doesn’t even stand when she floats in on his heels, lets her sit with him, listens when she speaks. He seems pleased when she admits that she will be leaving, receptive. Look at how his face softens when she speaks of her mother. Remember, this is the young man whose mother abandoned him at the foot of Kaer Morhen. It’s still raw all this time later, and will be a few decades on, as we see when he confronts her hallucination/vision. Geralt understands at least part of Renfri on a terribly personal level. He turns and lets her kiss him, not the other way around. Of course, she lied. He dreams, or hears from within his dream, her prophecy. I’m not completely clear as to whether the show meant to imply that she used some kind of magical ability to put him to sleep, and if inside that spell her inadvertent prophecy came through. Regardless, he is beyond grim when he goes to town to stop her, and I do believe his expression when given the ultimatum by her men is very speakingful. If not enough for you, however, then of course there is his quiet, resigned, disgusted, “Fuck.” But a Witcher accepts what comes from humans, good or ill. They walk away from attacks and hostility when they can, but defend themselves when needs must, and here it does. But that’s the catch, see. When he decided to come into town, Geralt wasn’t following his Witcher training. Think of what he told Stregobor— it wasn’t his problem, Witchers don’t deal in human affairs, and Geralt himself prefers not to choose at all when faced with lesser, greater, middling evil. He would rather be the true neutral. But he likes Renfri, empathizes with her even as he disdains and dislikes Stregobor. Geralt is the kind of man who was a young hothead bent on saving the world one young woman at a time. He likes bold, impetuous children and horses. His base instinct is to protect people and to side with the victims— we see its suggestion in this episode, and it is realized in full during the season. He isn’t neutral, as much as he wants to be. So he chooses, and hates himself for it, because he will never know if he was right. (And it doesn’t matter if he was right. Because right or wrong, killing Renfri wounded him and he carries it for decades.) It reinforces his belief that it is better not to choose at all. He was wrong to have chosen. He believes he should have walked away, let human affairs fall as they may, and yet we the audience know he will never be able to walk away from a massacre, do nothing, and still remain himself.

-Stregobor is the worst and that’s all I have to say about that.

-Renfri’s stepmother was 100% a lying turd and I will bet hard cash on that. “Yes her step mother told me she did this awful stuff, proving the mutation i had already decided existed anyway. Obviously she wanted to protect her own children so she hired me.” Are you???? Fuckin kidding me dude???? “Beep boop good thing there are no cautionary tales about jealous or cruel step mothers who hate their royal step children. Good thing no one would ever want to nerf said royal step children to open up the royal throne to their own get by, say, telling some teeny weeny lies to a gullible sorcerer who drinks his own koolaid” I s2g

-OH oh I almost forgot, one more thing. Just. One more. Fucking. All of Henry Cavill’s acting in the final scene and fight with Renfri. That hurts, sir. Every look and expression screams how badly he does not want to do this. I’ve said it before in another meta (and, like, in countless tags) but the terrible, breathless vulnerability and dread in Geralt’s face when Renfri reveals herself and her hostage? How slowly and carefully he draws closer, sword turned down and away, free hand open and soothing, as he tries to convince her to stop? Tries to use axii on her, and the softness of his voice, the clench in his jaw that says even as he seems to plead and beg with his eyes for her to stop that he is preparing for what will happen if (when) she won’t and despises every moment of it? It’s like the culmination of the audience’s introduction to What A Witcher Is (or perhaps better, What A Witcher Does). We see it throughout the episode. What a Witcher is, is neutral. They take what they are given. What they do is their job and nothing more. They kill dangerous monsters that threaten others and themselves. With humans, they defend themselves when necessary and that is all; necessity. There is no choice, it is simply what a Witcher does in a world where they know that sometimes the worst reaction a person can have doesn’t stop with angry words and threats. It is just another part of the life. They will back out, they will leave, they will sleep in the woods when they know they’re not welcome. They don’t push. They have been trained to avoid fighting humans wherever possible. They are not the aggressors, when blows come to blows. It is not what they do. Renfri cannot stop. Geralt must know this, after the intensity of their conversation in the woods. It is not Geralt the Witcher who made the decision to follow her to town; the Witcher would have left. Geralt the man, well, we know what he would do because we see it. When Renfri attacks him, however, he reacts as a Witcher does. As he did against her men. Controlled, precise, eliminating the threat. No cruelty or hatred. Just training. -Unlike his fight against the men, which is largely one long, smoothe dance, the fight against Renfri is riddled with pauses, stalemates where they lock eyes and we are shown closeups of their silent, intense exchanges. Neither wants to be there, but neither is willing to back down. -In my last meta I mentioned how Geralt clearly had the upper hand throughout their fight and doesn’t utilize multiple chances to finish the fight and critically injure Renfri. He instead tries to de-escalate-- strikes out with a slap, pins her, parries, defends, disarms her. These pauses in the fight for their eyes to meet and the little moments of silent communication seem an extension of this. More so, if I’m going to work with the Geralt the man vs. Geralt the Witcher dichotomy, then I would say these moments are Geralt the man breaking through. Communicating how he can’t let her go through with her plan. Begging her to reconsider, to walk away. Frustration, dread, a nonverbal don’t do this and don’t make me do this. Especially that last closeup. With Witcher efficiency and neutrality, he reacts to her final attack by turning her dagger back on her and sinking it neatly into her throat. Threat eliminated. Save... they both react with a long pause of breathless shock, before he wrenches it back out and she begins to bleed. There is a final close up from over her shoulder, her hair half obscuring Geralt’s face as he gazes presumably into her eyes, as he brings one hand up to her cheek— Geralt without speaking makes very clear how much pain he is in. He does what a Witcher does, but even as his hands did the work he is himself a gutted man. Regret. Pain. Love, of a sorts, whatever love can grow for someone you’ve known in such a short time yet felt such empathy and enjoyment and appreciation for. That is the young Geralt we saw, vulnerable and open and humorous, and this is where he ends. Look at his face as he leaves Blaviken. Geralt has become who we will follow for the rest of the season. -(If you look, really look, Marilka is not angry when she tells him to get out of Blaviken and never come back. Her eyes are soft, and sad. She is a clever little girl in a village too small, who knows the people there better than Geralt, and who knows he will never get more than a stoning. Maybe Geralt would have fought Stregobor for Renfri, maybe not. But Marilka tells him to leave, and he does.)

#taran talks meta #geralt of rivia #renfri the shrike #the witcher #meta #1x01 #marilka #i'm probably just repeating myself at this point but i love love love this episode #it hurts me each time god dammit #i wish i could make gifs to go with this to like #SHOW what i'm working off of

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clockwork-storyteller · 5 years

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A Prophecy of Shadows

↳ a wip introduction by @clockwork-storyteller

❝ Our story begins in the land of Altisora on the 90th year in what was called the Age of Light. It certainly wasn’t the best of times, but it was certainly better than what had come before. It was better because the invaders from the Dark Realms had been confined within the Shadowwake. The Dark Realms had been trying to invade Altisora under the leadership of King Regevis. He wanted to make this world his own as well. The people of Altisora had been fighting back for decades, but had, thus far, been unsuccessful. Eventually, the gods of this world, whose names had been long since forgotten, stepped in. The people had forgotten about them in such a time of darkness, and they were quickly losing their power. So, they decided to save their people with what little power they had left. They gave their power to the people. Well, some of the people.

The gods gave them the power to see beyond the mundane. They gave them the ability to see the future. ❞

BASIC INFO

title // A Prophecy of Shadows

genre // high fantasy; epic fantasy

pov // third person limited; multiple characters

status // outlining

themes // found family • destiny • free will • abuse of power • fighting against the darkness • lies and deception • love despite the darkness

SUMMARY

Seers wander the lands of Altisora, holding the power to see the future. But these Seers do not walk free. They are hunted by the three largest political powers in Altisora: The Layann Empire, ruled by Empress Rhea, The Kingdom of Sorgiia, ruled by King Azel, and The Allesani Territories, ruled by Sovereign Reyle, in an effort to keep their power. But as one Seer runs across Altisora in hopes of survival, they deliver one last prophecy. One that would change the fate of Altisora.

For some context, years ago, the creatures from the Dark Realms had invaded Altisora. But with a gift from the long since forgotten gods, the Seers were given their power and thus contained the invaders into the Shadowwake. The Shadowwake is ruled by King Verebris, a mysterious and calculating ruler.

Now, back to that big prophecy. The prophecy that stated that 3 heroes would rise up and take control of the Shadowwake. This prophecy was delivered in 3 parts, the first in Layann, the second in Sorgiia, and the third in Allesani. The towns in which each part of the prophecy was given to believe it to be about them, about one of their people. And neither of the towns know that there is more to the prophecy.

Zell, from the town Sidécera in the Layann Empire, has been trained since birth to take her place as the hero from the prophecy. She, along with another member of her town, could fit the descriptors given in the prophecy. The two of them undergo a series of trials over the course of three years. At the end of those trials, the two will fight to the death. The survivor must be the only one worthy of fulfilling the prophecy, and Zell has decided that she will win. After all, she told herself that she’d ask out Ari, that cute flower seller at the market, if she survives.

Hasea lives in Ulties, a city of hatred and fear. Everyone who was around to hear the prophecy has either left or died by the time it could be fulfilled. The prophecy has been a beacon of hope to everyone in Ulties. Well, everyone but the possible hero, that is. King Azel sent a troop of his cruel guards down to Ulties to patrol for the pirates rumored to be roaming the Southern Coast of Sorgiia, but Azel has an ulterior motive for sending those guards down. Hasea knows she could be the hero, but she also has bigger problems to worry about. Her and her older sister Bella need to help feed their family, and they can’t do that if Hasea’s off saving the world.

Kair is the son of a prominent military leader, stationed in Teniris, one of the largest military towns in Allesani. Kair never knew about the prophecy, because Teniris is the town where the Seer who delivered the prophecy was found and killed. Kair does have a significant weight upon his shoulders, despite not knowing about the prophecy. He is expected to take over his father’s position as soon as he turns 21. But when Kair is invited to stay and study in the Sovereign’s palace, he can’t exactly say no, can he? And he can’t leave behind his best friend Ordza, who’s always dreamed of studying to be the Sovereign’s Chief Arcanist, can he?

And while these 3 heroes are walking right into their destiny, whether they like it or not, revolution is brewing across Altisora. A Seer’s Rebellion, to be more specific. This rebellion is led by Kiran, a young seer who hopes to end the public executions of their people. Kiran’s goal is to train a new generation of Seers. One who will survive, despite being hunted. But the seer’s rebellion is getting some unexpected help. Leonn Iborris, the son of King Azel, has been confronted with a terrifying realization, and would rather help the rebellion against his family than acknowledge the truth.

CHARACTERS

ZELL: (she/her) Zell, one of the possible heroes of Sidécera, is strong and fearless, but only because she has to be. Zell has been raised since birth to be a fighter, but she wishes that she had the chance to just exist as Zell, not as the woman who will fulfill a prophecy. Despite being a fairly solitary person, Zell craves a close companionship that is hard to find when everyone sees you as a mythical hero instead of just a person.

ARI: (they/them) Ari has grown up working in their parents’ flower shop in the market of Sidécera, but they want more than anything to leave. Ari has never felt any real connection with anyone in Sidécera, and has been aching to let down the resilient walls they keep up day in and day out. But Ari will wait for the right moment to finally escape. They’ve gotten good at waiting, after all.

HASEA: (she/her) Hasea is a cunning young woman, but she wishes she was anything but. Having to lie and steal to feed her family for years is exhausting, but Hasea knows that she doesn’t have much of a choice. She likes to dream that she could be the hero in the prophecy, though. No one is really considered important in Ulties. No one except for the hero, that is. And Hasea would love to be a little important, just once.

BELLA: (she/her) Bella has never hated Ulties the way most people do. She’s never hated having to steal to survive the way that her younger sister Hasea has. Whenever she lies to save herself or steals to keep her and her family alive, it makes Bella feel like she she has some control over her life, a feeling that’s fairly uncommon in Ulties. But she wishes she got to choose who to protect. She loves her sister, but has always been stifled by the obligation to protect her family just because she was born to them.

KAIR: (he/him) Kair has never had a shortage of responsibility. Raised by a prominent military leader, Kair has been taught since he was a child to prioritize his Sovereign over anyone else and forsake his own thoughts and feelings for his duty. But despite these lessons ingrained into him, Kair continues to care. He is kind in a world where that is one of the most dangerous things to be. Kair is a relentlessly optimistic man, despite his looming future.

ORDZA: (she/her) Ordza is an ambitious woman, which is especially foolish for someone in her position. As Kair’s tutor, she is expected to teach him and nothing more. But still Ordza wants more. She dreams of training to be the Sovereign’s Chief Arcanist, but she knows she has no chance. But still, Ordza wants more than what she’s been given. She wants the option of choice, rather than accepting how it is and refusing to want better.

KIRAN: (they/them) Kiran is a good and strong leader, and though they’d like to say it’s because they love leading the Seer’s Rebellion, that would be a lie. Kiran does love leading the rebellion, but they also deeply understand the need for such a group of people like them and the gravity of what they’re doing. As they’ve led the rebellion for years, Kiran has never had much of anyone to rely on and has bore the burden on their own. But when an errant prince decides to help, Kiran begins to rethink their reluctance to rely on others.

LEONN: (he/him) Much like his father, King Azel of Sorgiia, Leonn is a headstrong man. Just not in the way his father would want. Leonn is strong in his beliefs, which is good for a future king, but not when those beliefs differ so drastically from those of his father. Despite his high position, Leonn has very little sway over the governing choices of his father, but he stilly tries. He decides to help the Seer’s Rebellion rather than confront a harsh truth about himself.

VEREBRIS: (he/him) Verebris is a child who was thrust into a war he wanted no part in. After the death of his father, Verebris prematurely inherited the throne of the Dark Realms, but he was quickly overthrown in a coup and used as a pawn in a game of politics. He wishes he had the power to take back his thrown and stop the injustices being committed by his people, but he knows that he’d be killed without a second thought if he tried. And and imprisoned king is better than a dead one, isn’t he?

RHEA: (she/her) Rhea is a manipulative Empress, to say the least. She is a woman who is comfortable in her power and makes sure everyone knows not to try and take it from her. Rhea is known for her political assassinations, a method she used to keep her subordinates in line. She has no qualms about lying to further her own goals, but would much rather flaunt her wealth and power in some extravagant manner than put in the necessary work.

AZEL: (he/him) Azel, much like Rhea, is a king who loves his power and will go to extreme lengths to prevent it being taken from him. He is a man who has had lots of power his entire lire, and has become quite fond of the feeling of being in complete control. Azel is also a stubborn man, but that same quality that is so positive within his son has caused him from losing Sorgiia quite a few political alliances.

REYLE: (they/them) Reyle is a cunning and calculating ruler, but in a way very different than Rhea. The Allesani government does not allow extreme amounts of power to go to the Sovereign, so they figured out how to use more power than they are given. Reyle has a talent in convincing people to accomplish their goals for them, which has allowed them to have more control over their people than one would assume.

Tag List (reblog or ask to be tagged/removed):

#writeblr #amwriting #my writing #creative writing #my wip #my characters #wip intro #wip introduction #wip info #a prophecy of shadows #apos #fantasy #epic fantasy #high fantasy #fantasy story #my writing wips #writing intro

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teensith · 5 years

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big brain kagrenac theory

I’ve always been dissatisfied by the generally accepted story that the dwemer just “poofed” because Kagrenac did something with the tools and messed up, and that’s that, and Yagrum Bagarn is the only one left. There are a lot of in-game/in-lore inconsistencies about it, and I can see why it’s easier to think they all just blinked out of existence, but I don’t think it quite adds up.

The gist of it: Kagrenac was leading a cult, and led a mass suicide in the name of “transcending” the mortal coil, and the dwemer who didn’t poof went into hiding, interbred with other elves, and/or some other possibilities besides Yagrum “was in Oblivion at the time, then got corprus” Bagarn.

First, I want to define what a cult is.

These definitions as follows are taken from Wikipedia, and most of my direct quotes/sourcing will be from Wikipedia or UESP unless otherwise stated.

In modern English, a cult is a social group that is defined by its unusual religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or by its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal.

And further, I’d argue this is a destructive, possibly doomsday cult:

"Destructive cult" generally refers to groups whose members have, through deliberate action, physically injured or killed other members of their own group or other people. The Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance specifically limits the use of the term to religious groups that "have caused or are liable to cause loss of life among their membership or the general public".

"Doomsday cult" is an expression which is used to describe groups that believe in Apocalypticism and Millenarianism, and it can also be used to refer both to groups that predict disaster, and groups that attempt to bring it about.

So let’s get started.

To contextualize Kagrenac into wider Dwemer culture, and our understanding of the lore, let’s look at his position in Dwemer hierarchy (at least in Morrowind). He’s referred to as Magecrafter, the High Engineer, High Craftlord (which might be his actual title), and, oddly, High Priest. The Dwemer are not considered to be a religious or spiritually inclined culture, with UESP even describing them as “agnostic” and idolizing science after a fashion. This is really important for the next few parts of this, so bear with me.

Kagrenac is our primary source in TES for a lot of points we take as a given, such as the Heart of Lorkhan:

"Beneath Red Mountain, Dwemer miners discovered a great magical stone. By diverse methods, Lord Kagrenac, High Priest and Magecrafter of the ancient Dwemer, determined that this magical stone was the heart of the god Lorkhan

This is from an in-game book called Kagrenac’s Tools written by Gilvas Barelo, who authored some other writings that were compiled later by the dissident priests - in brief, heretical members of the church of the Tribunal who believed the Nerevarine prophecy was worth study.

I’m not saying it’s not the god Lorkhan’s actual heart right now, but we really only have Kagrenac’s word to go on. At worst, it’s an immensely powerful magical object with enough energy stored up that it can give people godlike abilities and a degree of immortality.

At the very least, it appears that Kagrenac genuinely believed this to be Lorkhan’s heart, and set about creating a plan to place it into the heart of a new god, the Numidium, “for the exclusive benefit of the Dwemer.” More on the “is it the real deal” will come at a later point in my post. And a little more on the Numidium as well.

One thing the book “Kagrenac’s Tools” notes is that being in proximity to the Heart causes some sort of Madness, allegedly, and that’s because siphoning power off a god is bad. Thus the tools are “cursed.”

Another account of the discovery, from The Plan To Defeat Dagoth Ur by Vivec:

The Dwemer discovered the heart while building underground colonies. High Craftlord Kagrenac created enchanted tools intended to tap the power of the heart. The War of the First Council was fought to prevent this sacrilege. Kagrenac's use of these tools and the disappearance of the Dwemer race marked the end of the war.

And last, I think the Heart is mentioned here, in “Nerevar at Red Mountain”

Resdayn, present day Morrowind, was contested ground between two very different types of mer: the Chimer, who worshipped Daedra, and the Dwemer, who worshipped a profane and secret power.

So it’s considered profane or “cursed” by those outside the Dwemer and then later the members of the Tribunal.

It appears that Kagrenac wanted to reconquer Resdayn and make the Dwemer immortal, per Yagrum Bagarn’s in-game dialogue, using this Heart to power Numidium. Yagrum Bagarn was not in agreement with Kagrenac’s ideals and considered his theories “dangerous”, which explains why he was on another plane when The Poof happened.

So now that we’ve established some backstory, let’s move on to why I think Kagrenac specifically had some sort of cult going, based on what little information we have.

He informed me, however, that in Kherakah the precepts of Kagrenac were taught.

This is from the book “Nchunak’s Fire and Faith.” It’s a firsthand account of Nchunak’s journey and his attempt to understand Kagrenac’s teachings.

Kherakah appears to be some sort of special compound built by Kagrenac and his followers. Kagrenac has a very high status in Dwemer society and culture, at least where the Dwemer in Resdayn are concerned. It’s unclear how many people are under Kagrenac’s thrall by the time of the Big Poof. This is what they do in Kherakah, per the same book.

the Dwemer of Kherakah, the most learned people in the world, [study] Kagrenac's words and [give] consideration to their place in the life to come

“The life to come” appears to be a reference to what happens after Numidium is activated - the retaking of Resdayn from the Chimer, perhaps. The book makes no mention of conquering, however.

neither planar division nor the numeration of amnesia nor any other thing of utility was more valued than the understanding of the self and its relationship to the Heart..

So what radicalized Kagrenac to the point of developing his own religious framework around the Heart? Was it only discovering the Heart? This so-called “madness” that being in the Heart’s presence is alleged to produce? Was his goal to reconquer Resdayn for the dwemer with the Numidium, per Yagrum Bagarn, or was it to use the tools on the Heart to bring on some sort of “life to come?”

I think it’s a combination of several factors.

Kagrenac’s true aim I believe is using the Heart’s power to “transcend mortality” for the dwemer race. The first reason I think he’s uninterested in actually reconquering Resdayn is that Dumac had no idea that he was planning something with the Heart. From “Nerevar at Red Mountain:”

Kagrenac and the high priests of the Dwemer had kept their New God secret from their King[...]Dumac said the Dwemer were innocent of any wrongdoing

Dumac also does not seem to be interested in conquering Resdayn, given his shock at being accused of lying about the Heart. So I think Azura wants the Dwemer gone from Morrowind, for whatever reason.

Remember when I mentioned earlier that I’m not entirely sure we’re dealing with the real heart of Lorkhan? Here’s why:

Azura, who confirmed that [...] the New God of the Dwemer should be destroyed for the safety of not only Resdayn, but for the whole world

If it was truly a piece of Lorkhan, and not some sort of idol...I think Azura would say so, as much as she’s petty and spiteful. It also wouldn’t be referred to as “New God” or “a profane power.” There is also this - Lorkhan’s heart is essential to holding Nirn together on some level, and this is a common thread across all creation of nirn myths. Why would she want to destroy the world and, if nothing else, destroy all her followers? I guess there could be something really convoluted in there about Lorkhan and being tricked, but it doesn’t scan for me.

Also, here’s a line from the Monomyth that suggests it can’t be destroyed

But when Trinimac and Auriel tried to destroy the Heart of Lorkhan it laughed at them. It said, "This Heart is the heart of the world, for one was made to satisfy the other."

There is, again, this idea that being around the Heart causes some sort of Madness, back to Nerevar at red Mountain.

So, looking at images of the Heart as depicted in Morrowind, it seems to have been affixed with Dwemer technology. Perhaps to prepare it for insertion into Numidium? It’s unclear if Kagrenac actually planned to follow through with building the Numidium, or if it was a ruse, given that firsthand accounts don’t mention it at all. Or perhaps Kagrenac’s plans changed and didn’t give a memo? Who knows.

Dagoth Ur was actually against using the tools and advocated destroying them and the Heart, at first. Taken from his entry on UESP.

At first, Dagoth himself urged for their immediate destruction, either of the Tools or the Heart itself, which led Nerevar to believe he could be trusted to guard them while Nerevar consulted his councilors

This is in line with what Azura said. Why would he suddenly change his mind?

Dagoth refused to give them up, maintaining that he had been entrusted with guarding them. Unbeknownst to them at the time, Dagoth had experimented with the Tools on the Heart during Nerevar's absence and somehow managed to steal some of its divine essence and power.

Proximity to the Heart, is why. I don’t think the dissidents in the Tribunal church were entirely incorrect in their assessment regarding the madness, just that the madness stems from the stone itself and not the tools Kagrenac fashioned.

Also of note:

Dagoth Ur, who used a ritual of his own devising to bind himself to the Heart of Lorkhan, had apparently adopted the views and motivations of Kagrenac.

Recap:

I’m inclined to believe that this isn’t Lorkhan’s actual heart. It’s definitely an object of great power that has some sort of aura of influence, and everybody outside of Kagrenac’s followers and the Tribunal consider it an evil object. But the indestructible heart of a dead god that’s holding the fabric of the world together, probably not.

I’m also inclined to believe that Kagrenac’s real plans for the heart were not to be the core of Numidium so Resdayn could be conquered again for the Dwemer, but to use his tools on them such to “transcend mortality.” Or something.

So, the cult-y part.

I mentioned in my general exposition earlier that Kagrenac had constructed a compound for himself and his followers, where he is a High Priest, and where the most important thing was reflecting on “the self and its relationship to the Heart,” followed by meditating on one’s place in “the next world.” He also appears to be envisioning himself as the harbinger of this next world, leading people to a “salvation,” while also outwardly promising to give the Dwemer Resdayn on a silver platter vis-a-vis Numidium. Potent rhetoric for a people frustrated with having to cooperate with the enemy.

As mentioned in my definition of doomsday cults, they tend to center around the “end of the world” in some form, either in the predicting or the bringing of. There is also a tendency for believers to see it as a period of transition into a new world or state of being, where only the “wicked” would suffer. Sounds not unlike Kagrenac’s designs.

So he wants to “transcend” the Dwemer using his tools on the Heart to do so. It seems that part of this transcendance requires one to leave mortality behind - maybe the physical body, as real-world religions tend to claim? It’s unclear what portion of the Dwemer populus follows him, but Yagrum Bagarn is a huge detractor of Kagrenac and his beliefs, so it follows there are other detractors and plenty of groups that don’t follow Kagrenac, confirmed by in-game dialogue with both Yagrum Bagarn and Baladas Demnevanni. Demnevanni also is of the opinion that the Dwemer were using magic and practicing tonal architecture in ways that go against the laws of nature, so of course they would eventually Poof, but that’s a tangent I don’t care to go into for this post.

Accounts vary on how the Poof happened, but the two major thoughts are Kagrenac performed some sort of “calling” that maybe brought a mass together, or that he struck the heart with his tools and everyone disappeared simultaneously at the climax of the battle at Red Mountain. A third idea is that the Tribunal dusted Kagrenac and the Dwemer.

This idea of a “calling” is much more interesting and honestly sounds a lot more like it could have actually happened, in my opinion. From Chimarvidium’s publisher’s note:

[...]the mention of "the Calling." In this legend and in others, there is a suggestion that the Dwemer race as a whole had some sort of silent and magickal communication.

So let’s work off this basic assumption: Kagrenac used the calling (some sort of silent communication power, perhaps racial) to gather his followers together in one place - perhaps the site of the Heart? After everyone had gathered, he told them they were going on a “sublime journey,” and then something related to the Heart and the tools happened, and then Poof.

With this, I’d also like to propose that this is a sort of “destructive” cult, after a fashion. Maybe Kagrenac genuinely believed he was saving people, maybe not. I’ve also seen mention on some other posts on TESlore that he bound the souls of the Dwemer to the Heart with his tools, though I don’t think I found an in-lore source for that. But in practice, it’s effectively a mass suicide brought on by some sort of fanatical belief in the power of this Heart. And if my theory that the Heart is an eldritch object is true, the Heart led Kagrenac (and later Dagoth) down a path of complete devotion to it, eventually leading to Kagrenac and the Dwemer’s demise.

After the Poof, I could see where if a sizable enough group of Dwemer vanished before the Tribunal’s eyes (maybe, this is a reach, but someone witnessed it), it would be assumed that ALL Dwemer vanished in the same fashion. But we don’t know that. After all, Yagrum Bagarn (though he was off exploring other planes at the time) is still around, even if he believes that he’s the last of his kind. And we have ghosts in the ruins of Morrowind.

Dwemer appear to be a bit greenish/grayish but don’t look so alien that they wouldn’t be able to shave their beards and hide among the High Elves. Plus, if this disappearance really did happen around the climax of the Battle, Nerevar’s death, and Azura’s curse, maybe they blended in relatively well with the newly minted Dunmer. And since the Dwemer are viciously hated by the Chimer/Dunmer, it makes sense that they would try to blend in or go into hiding, and eventually interbreed with other mer. Kind of reminds me of Roanoke colony “disappearing” and then reported sightings of “Indians with blue eyes.”

My last thought is kind of a Big Reach but what if some of the remaining Dwemer formed the Psijic order, or joined it early? This is based partly off the publisher’s note in Chimarvidium, but it does mention there’s no known spell for this “calling” or “silent communication.” And the Psijics are known to have time and space-warping magic, and talk up a lot about maintaining the balance of the world...or something.

Anyway, let me know what you think! I wrote this all in one sitting so it might not be my best essay.

#tes #The Elder Scrolls #morrowind #dwemer #theory

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strawberrysunrisewitches · 4 years

Text

Cassie Profile

Format made by @hogwartsmysterystory

Identity

Name: Cassandra Eliza Cresswood

Gender: Female

Birth Date: February 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Muggleborn

Sexuality: Lesbian

Alignment: Neutral Good

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: Scottish

Residence: Glasgow, Scotland

Myer Briggs Personality Type: Defender-ISFJ-T

The Mage

1st Wand: 10", Cedar, Phoenix tail feather

2nd Wand: 10″, Ebony Oak, Horned serpent horn (made by Bianca Firahel)

Animagus: Red Squirrel with a red heart marking on the chest

Misc Magical Abilities: Legillimens

Boggart Form: Lucia dying

Riddikulus Form: Lucia dressed as a clown

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Strawberries, watermelon, Lavender and roasted almonds

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) sunflowers, honey, chocolates and mint

Patronus: Flame Skimmer Dragonfly

Patronus Memory: Getting married to Lucia(Was made up until they actually did)

Mirror of Erised: She and Lucia having a happy family together

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Protego

Carpe Retractum

Depulso

Episkey

Incarcerous

Orchideous (She used this spell to help ask out Lucia)

Appearance

Faceclaim:

Height: 5′3

Weight: 138lbs

Physique: Muscled arms, quite curvaceous

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Red

Skin Tone: Pale

Body Modifications: Tattoo of a sunflower with multiple sunflowers wrapped around her left arm, around her stomach she has six daffodils forming a heart, In her seventh year she dyed a part of her hair blonde

Scarring: Scar going vertically down left eye, X- shaped scar on the middle of her chest and a scar on her right side of her waist

Inventory: Wand, Dragonfly Brooch gifted by her sister, a charm bracelet that matches with Lucia’s, dragonfly species books, a locket with photos of Sierra and Lucia in it, multiple songbooks

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Ilvermorny House:Horned Serpent

Affiliations/Organizations:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Slytherin

Prefects

Arcuri Family

Professions:

Wand Maker(Briefly)

Magizoologist(Formerly)

Baker

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: 5/10 (A)

Charms: 9/10 (O)

DADA: 8/10 (O)

Flying: 7/10 (E)

Herbology: 6/10 (E)

History of Magic: 5/10 (A)

Potions: 4/10 (P)

Transfiguration:8/10 (O)

Electives:

CoMC 7/10 (E)

Music: 7/10 (E)

Ancient Runes: 8/10 (O)

Quidditch: Beater

Extra Curricular:

Frog Choir

Dueling Club

Slytherin Quidditch Team(Beater)

Favourite Professors:

Professor Snape: Despite her skills at potion making being subpar, Cassie trusts Snape and his teaching, she just believes she is not suited for potion making. Snape shared her distrust of Rakepick which Cassie was relieved as many of her friends did not and he helped train her legillimency after the vault, she was also thankful for him giving Lucia the garroting gas as it saved their lives from Rakepick

Professor Flitwick: Cassie took to charms like a duck to water which she attributes to Flitwick’s kind and understanding nature which always encouraged her when she attended his classes and she always looks forward to learning any new charms from him even if she intends on using them to break the rules

Least Favourite Professors:

Rakepick: Cassie never trusted Rakepick from the outset and made this known to all her friends in an effort to keep them safe. When her true nature was revealed in the portrait vault, Cassie was not surprised but she did not expect the things she would do to them.

Professor Trelawney: Cassie does not believe in her teaching Divination, does not believe in any of her prophecies and dismisses them as pure superstition. She believes that someone who is a proven seer should teach instead.

Relationships

Sister: Sierra Arcuri(Nee Cresswood)

Muggleborn

Gryffindor

Shoulder length red hair that fades to dirty blonde, brown eyes, lithe build

Duck animagus

She is a muggle veterinarian

Cassie is closer to Sierra than to her parents especially so after year 3, Every time Sierra returned from Hogwarts, she would regale Cassie with everything she learnt and Cassie listened with great enthusiasm every time. Sierra was the first person Cassie told about her crush on Lucia

Father: Edward Cresswood

Muggle

Buzzcut red hair, brown eyes, pudgy build

He is a entomologist

Edward was the one who got Cassie interested in dragonflies when she was young and is very caring to his kids to a certain extent, Before year 3 he supported his daughters in everything they did and worried about how Cassie’s introvertedness could affect her. Eventually he grew hatred towards Sierra and eventually Cassie aswell for their sexualities.

Mother: Joan Cresswood

Muggle

long red hair, brown eyes, svelte build

She is a published writer

She is the reason why Edward became homophobic in that she was able to convince him that LGBT+ people are wrong to exist and just like Edward she cared about Sierra and Cassie up until that point. She believes that the magic world corrupted her daughters and made them stray from what she saw as their path.

Love Interest: Lucia Firahel

Best Friends:

Rowan Khanna

Talbott Winger

Chiara Lobosca

Rival: Rebecca Lord ( @cursed-ice-spirits ) in Quidditch

Enemies:

Rakepick

Death Eaters

Voldemort

Dormmates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?)

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Liz Tuttle

Pets:

A Elf Owl named Syl

When she moves out into her own house, she gets a samoyed named Mayhem and three ragdoll cats named Cassia, Yuki and Pixel

Closest Canon Friends:

Rowan Khanna

Talbott Winger

Chiara Lobosca

Closest MC Friends:

Lauren Shields

Rebecca Lord ( @cursed-ice-spirits )

Background/History

Cassie grew up in Glasgow, she was very much an inside child always reading books whenever she could, the times she was outside it was to hunt for dragonflies that she saw in her books

When Sierra got her Hogwarts letter, Cassie was incredibly interested in all things magical and begged Sierra when she returns to tell her everything she can.

Cassie learnt about Cirilo and the cursed vaults from Sierra and became determined to prove they exist if she gets accepted to Hogwarts.

A few years later, her wish came true and she was accepted to Hogwarts where she started reading everything she could to do with magic and chose to neglect to gain any friends

This changed in Year 2 when Lucia Firahel searched the Library for anything pertaining to the Cursed Vaults which was also what Cassie was doing, Lucia’s cheery personality and persistence in talking to Cassie broke through her antisocial exterior and it was here that Cassie developed a crush on Lucia

Next year was one of the worst years of Cassie’s life when Sierra came out to her parents who were disgusted and disowned her. This event hurt Cassie mentally and emotionally to such an extent that she avoided Lucia for weeks until she was able to sit Cassie down with the help of all her friends and find out what the problem was. Lucia promised that if living with her parents ever got too bad then she has a place at her home which increased the intensity of Cassie’s crush on Lucia

In year four Lucia asked Cassie to the celestial ball which excited her a lot until Lucia intended it as just friends which caused Cassie to be less excited but still pretty excited.

After the ball, Cassie with encouragement from Sierra asked out Lucia though they tried to keep it secret to the school

In year five her legillimency was used by Rakepick to enter the Portrait Vault along with Lucia, Merula, Bill and Ben. When Rakepick betrayed them to say she wasn’t shocked would be very apt, fortunately Lucia was able to make Rakepick go away through the garroting gas

The next year, Cassie was relieved beyond belief when Lucia revealed she will no longer be going after the cursed vaults which meant Cassie wouldn’t have to worry about Lucia’s safety anymore

However she was scared and angry when Ben and Merula made Lucia come with them to the Forbidden Forest, a fear which she was right to have as Rakepick did try to kill them there but thankfully she failed and Lucia survived

It was also during this year that her relationship with Lucia was revealed to the school when they were caught kissing before a quidditch match

In year 7 once she turned 18 Cassie got her arm tattoo so that even if they are apart she is always fighting alongside Lucia

In the final battle against R, Cassie singlehandedly kept any members of R from interfering with Lucia and Rakepick’s duel, killing any who kept trying to do so

After she graduates, she briefly becomes a wand maker under Lucia’s mother and a part-time magizoologist before finally becoming a baker with Lucia

Four years after she graduates, she has her first daughters, Selene and Alissa with Lucia

When Voldemort returned she was openly defiant of him and joined the Order of the Phoenix. She also sheltered Muggleborns where she could and commonly was found dueling Death Eaters sent after her and her family alongside Lucia

Three years after Selene and Alissa’s birth Lucia gave birth to Aurea

Cassie took part in the Battle of Hogwarts with Lucia staying behind to protect their family. When Cassie learnt of Tonks’ death it was as if Lucia’s anger that she would have flowed into her and when the battle recommenced after the armistice ended, every death eater and creature that faced her met a gruesome end, most of the death eaters were unrecognizable at the end of the battle due to the full extent of Cassie’s attacks. Cassie survived the battle and returned home to Lucia’s relief and the two were able to live their lives in peace

Personality

Cassie is highly ambitious to an almost extreme degree, before Hogwarts she willingly chose to not befriend anyone to focus on schoolwork instead, this backfired on her in that due to the lack of social skill development she was very shy and avoided people out of shyness rather than willingly when she started Hogwarts. She eventually overcame this shyness over the years with the help of Lucia and her friends.

She also has an incredible competitive streak that comes out when she takes part in any competition and is always seen in Quidditch especially once Lucia started watching her matches.

She struggles with emotional situations and will always leave it to others to deal with that stuff, she hates this part of her as many of her friends deal with emotional breakdowns multiple times over the years and she never knows how to help.

Once she is befriended she will never let a single bad word be said about her friends without her shutting them up and will never give up on her friends no matter what. If you aren’t her friend and you wrong her and/or her friends then never expect her to forgive or forget ever.

Misc

The names of her five daughters are; Alissa Dawn, Selene Abigail, Aurea Amara, Roxanna Amber, Rebecca Ciana and Hannah Chiara Firahel

She is fluent in English, Scottish Gaelic and Italian which Lucia taught to her

Has a pretty strong Scottish accent which never goes away with age

She’s left handed

She got her scars from a magical accident involving a spell Lucia was working on

She has a fear of bees from an incident when she threw a rock at a beehive when she was young and the swarm chased her until she got inside safely

She only joined Quidditch at first because she wanted to experience Quidditch up close but her competitive streak soon took over and she started loving it but she never wanted to be a professional quidditch player

She was taught to sing by her sister, Sierra and was a great singer out of the gates

She’s had two dragonfly brooches in her life, the first was from her parents but after they disowned Sierra she threw it into the Black Lake

She is really only physically affectionate with Lucia, that is not to say she is touch scared or won’t reject hugs from her friends but she won’t be the one to initiate any hugs

She is very knowledgeable about everything related to dragonflies

She can in theory cast all three unforgivable curses

When she graduated, she packed her stuff and left home immediately kissing Lucia in front of her parents as a big fuck you to them for how they treated Sierra and her

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #Cassie #Casandra Cresswood #Cassie Cresswood #Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hp hogwarts mystery #HPHM MC #character profile

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jammyjess · 5 years

Text

Hey friends!

I found King Falls AM at a time in my life where I felt scared, hopeless and alone. I didn’t want to be here at all, and I thought for the most part I’d never be happy again. I’m still most of those things, but every day in King Falls makes that a little easier to be okay with. I thought long and hard about what I could manage for this, but most of all, I just wanted to say thank you. So. Here goes.

Thank you for Sammy Stevens, who is my favourite kind of character. He’s sassy and pretty and humble and full of love.Thank you for his cynicism and snark, but also for his ability to push aside his own beliefs and ideas and wants when it matters. Also, for letting him Suplex Grisham, because that was pretty neat! Thank you for the way he relates to the people around him, but especially to Lily. For a character who makes mistakes and actually tries to learn from them - he doesn’t always get it right, but he tries, and that’s so important. He’s made me laugh, he’s made me cry, he’s made me want to scream. I adore his backstory, it means more to me than I can say, but also thank you for the way you handled the events around 75. It was so meaningful. I love him with everything I have, which is why it hurts me to thank you for his pain, which is so unbelievably relatable to my own. For my own hurt that comes out of his mouth. The kind of hurt that transcends circumstances. I was in a dark place before this show, and parts of me are still there, but watching Sammy grow, and change and heal has meant everything to me. It gives me hope for better days. For Sammy, and for me too. Thank you for giving him the courage to stick around, and for giving him hope. Thank you for Benny Arnold. Who I can’t write about coherently without bursting into tears. He’s messy and flawed and just absolutely gorgeous. Seeing him grow through the years has been an absolute joy, but most of all, I love his ability to remain untainted by the horrors he’s been through. He’s still got the same heart, and it’s the best heart there is. I love his passion, his hope, his resilience. His belief in everybody around him. He remains unapologetically himself through everything, and I adore him. He is The Good, and I’m so glad we have him. Noah brings such complexity to him too, and I can listen a thousand times to a single episode and continue to feel all the things.

Thank you for Emily. For making a strong, intelligent, badass women who’s also soft and desirable and loving. For letting her write her own story and for letting her be more than a prize to be won. She’s so good natured and considerate and thoughtful, and even in her worst moments she never loses that. Every moment she appears is wonderful and Jess KILLS IT every time! I’ve especially enjoyed phase two Emily, as her relationships with other characters become more integral to the story. Thank you for speaking out against the Frickards of the world through her, because it hurts and it’s hard but it’s so important. Using your audience for good means so much. Thank you for the thoughtfulness and care with which you consistently apply to sensitive subjects. For day-to-day happiness, for happy places and for months of quiet kindness without ever being asked.

Thank you for Jack Wright. For the reminder to choose love (even when it’s hard. Maybe especially when it’s hard.) For the reminder that we’re all worthy of love, in all its forms. The affirmation that nobody corners the market on sadness, but also that we don’t always have to go it alone. That grief is universal, and that’s not always a bad thing. For quiet moments of humanity in the midst of absolute tragedy. For vulnerability, for heartbreak and moving forward together. For forgiveness and acceptance, and humility.

Thank you for Dwayne Libbydale, who’s a special kind of chaos. I am again lost for words, but I love him, I love him, I love him.

Thank you for Pete Escobar Ed Edwards Yardboy Myers and his funyuns and disdain and snark (even if me saying I love him means he’ll never listen to this show again.) Thank you for PHENOMENAL journalist Lily Wright, who is an absolute delight! She feels like the personification of grief, loss and trauma, but at the same time so, so real. Her reluctant acceptance of King Falls as home is beautiful, and I hope she gets ALL THE HUGS really soon. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, even if it means alienating the people she loves. Her shaky vulnerability with Sammy, Ben and Emily is so good, and I’m so excited to see where the future of Lily Wright lays. King Falls Chronicles was some KILLER story telling, and Candace was the icing on the cake. The acting chemistry she has with everybody is absolutely on point. I’m so glad we get to keep Lily. That she’s found home. Thank you for #DeputyDead. His unwavering optimism and willingness to see the good in everything and everybody is absolutely wonderful.

Thank you for Debbie and RoboTim, who I still believe in, despite all evidence pointing to ‘don’t do that.’ Thank you for Maggie Masterson, an Actual Icon. And for our Man’s Man’s Man and his lil Kingsie Bab. For Regan who is a sweetheart and Chet who I hate to love.

Thank you for villains that fill me with white hot rage. Who’s actions are explained, but never excused. For Frickards and Gundersons and ShadowFUCKS and HFB3’s and Leland Hills and Ernies and Grishams. They’re different levels of despicable, and I adore hate them all.

Thank you for ridiculous caricatures ; the Gwendolyns and the Cynthias and the Jacob Williams. Thank you for SPORTSBALL (CHOP. DAT. WOOD.) and WALL CRABS and GARBAGE BEARS and DANGER NOODLES and every other ridiculous Benism.

Thank you for Teareal and serendipity and redrum roses and for the inability to see the word ‘ghost’ and not correcting it to APPARITION. Thank you for Dan & Larry and boy band battles and Doyle’s Conspiracy Cavern and Devon Hamptonframptonshire. For Golden Owl, Finn and Gator Jack and Alvin and every other ridiculously loveable character you’ve created. Some of them barely last longer than an episode, but their chaos will fuel me for a lifetime.

Thank you for Mary Jensen, who is the mom I wish I had. All moms are champs, but Mary is perfect. Thank you for Betty and Nancy and Loretta and Marigold. All who I expect deserve the praise they’re given.

Thank you for Herschel and Cecil, who are cranky old bastards and who probably shouldn’t fit together, but they do so effortlessly. The care and compassion they have for each other is inspiring, and I too hope to have a friend like that someday. Trent is wickedly skilled, and I’m sure he hears it so often but!!!!

Thank you for BE WELL BUDDIES and silly puns in the titles, and short jokes and RoboTim mixups and Science Institute break-ins with vigilante superheroes and mysterious callers. Thank you for love through overnight oats and moustache talk and non-binary pals. For a willingness to grow and change and learn and laugh. For the electrolocaust and my favourite threesome and for sammiversarys. For Ben posting Sammy’s bail, and heart-to-hearts in jail cells. For stupid bets and bensplosions and the fucking kickball story. For creepy dreams and technical terms, for badly timed BEEPS for awkward flirting and on-air confessions. For idiots who can’t keep secrets, let alone not talk about them on air for more than five minutes. For missing hikers and weird shadow tornados and notebooks and shooting down UFOs and death by damnation. For the SECOND BEST small town in American Celebration, for Christmas Gifts for Ben’s Mom and Jupiter Jaundice. For Ben’s monopoly tactics and Sammy’s audible eye rolls, for prophecies and ‘legend-has-it’s and for love and love and love.

Thank you for the mysteries, and for the constant need for MORE. You do cliffhangers so wonderfully, and I feel like I’ve never anticipated anything so keenly in my life. Tim Jensen, The Dark, Merv, Death by Damnation, The Rainbow Lights, The Zombies.

Thank you for Cameron Chambers??? How does he do it?? I have no idea, but I hope he keeps doing it. Especially all them Christmas BOPS. Legendary. Jazz-Hands worthy!

Thank you for making Zombies the F- plot.

Thank you for the Eagle Screech in the DALE’S DOLLAR TREE ad. And all the other ads too, I guess. I don’t understand The Fucky List, but thanks for that too! Thank you for JACK IN THE BOX JESUS which has caused my internet to constantly recommend me eat at Jack in the Box, despite the closest one being literal continents away.

Thank you for continuing to choose this. For being open to sharing so much of yourselves with us. Thank you for fan interactions and live listens, Q&As and twitter replies and twitch streams and retweets and Beyond the Falls. Thank you for the love and care you show us all, which above all feels genuine.

Thank you for being the catalyst for a community where I finally feel like I belong. Like I’m important. Like I matter. Thank you for being the reason for hours and days and weeks and months of in-jokes and teasing and theories and head canons and screaming and food talk and love. For so much kindness. And acceptance. For a space to be myself without fear. For people I feel like I’ve known lifetimes, and for whom I hope I can love for lifetimes more. For people to cheer on, and cry with, and poke fun at. For stupid nickname changes, and memes and words in reactions. For making me feel like i’m part of something much bigger than me. For a place to be passionate without judgement. For a place to just be. For friends. For family.

Thank you for the push I’ve needed to create again. And for all the others you’ve inspired too.

Every moment inside King Falls have been an absolute blessing, but the impact it’s had on my life outside of it is absolutely everything.

Congratulations on (almost) 100 episodes. What an adventure it’s been. I’m so excited for everything the future of King Falls holds, but most of all; Thank you for making this fuckin’ mean something.

#contest entry #100 eps!!#kfam100 #king falls am #kfam #thanks #kfam discord #ramble #unashamed fangirling #long post #text #words

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Lucifer Season 4 Recap: The Devil’s in the Details

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The following contains spoilers for Lucifer season 4.

Lucifer is the rare show that didn’t reach its full potential until it was canceled. Always fun, supernatural camp, the show reached another level in season 4 following its move from Fox to Netflix.

The first three seasons largely used Ellis’ ability to slip so easily and believably from semi-sleazy boundless cad to genuinely hurt lost child to raging demon to tell the story of the devil’s emotional development from the rejected and perpetually abandoned son of God (and Goddess) to (semi-)self-aware friend, partner, and potential (chaste) lover. In this, he was aided by a cast and characters to play off who made silly moments funnier and touching moments sweeter or more heartbreaking.

Sadly, however, that’s largely all that humans Detective Chloe Decker, douche Dan, Dr. Martin, and quirky forensic scientist Ella were allowed to do. Their characters were given little development. Charlotte theoretically was given some space for movement, but this was largely due to her becoming literally a different character halfway through, and her last-minute heaven-winning transformation felt a bit hollow in the end. Demon Mazikeen and angelic brother Amenadiel fared better, both coming to grips (as foils to Lucifer’s own development) with what their move to the City of Angels meant for them. But still, the primary focus—and thus all that was most interesting—was Lucifer.

But this all changed in season four, when Netflix picked up the show. The move away from broadcast television shortened the season (to 10 episodes, down from a high of 25) but lengthened the episodes, which meant that much of the procedural quality and one-off episodes dropped away and the show focused more consistently on its primary arc, and with it, the development of its characters.

With Lucifer season 5 set to arrive on Netflix on August 21, now is the right time to recap the events of Lucifer season 4.

Chloe Finds God

Season four’s opening scene grabs us immediately and sets the tone for the rest of the season as we watch and listen to Ellis’s Lucifer sing Radiohead’s “Creep” in a montage, night after night, as he slowly disintegrates over time over the loss of Chloe, who has taken Trixie and run away after Lucifer’s true nature has finally been made inescapably clear to her. This absence is quickly rectified when the Detective (Lauren German) shows up at a crime scene unannounced, throwing not just her celestial partner but the whole investigative team for a loop.

She’s been to the Vatican—among other places—in search of answers, although it is never entirely clear what her questions were. Here she has fallen prey to a priest with an agenda. Father Kinley (played alternately with touching kindness and religious hysteria by Outlander’s Graham McTavish) has been tracking Lucifer’s comings and goings throughout history and is convinced that he is every bit as evil and malicious as the Bible has said. Although she does not entirely believe this, she is moved by the argument that, wherever he goes, destruction follows, and he must return to hell. She agrees to help him sedate Lucifer so Kinley can perform an exorcism on him.

Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 Review (Spoiler-Free)

By Kirsten Howard

All of this comes to naught, of course, since Chloe cannot reconcile the picture Father Kinley paints of Lucifer with the flawed but essentially good man that she knows, and she backs out of the plan. Kinley retaliates by informing Lucifer of the Detective’s intended betrayal (leaving out the key bit of information that it was and continues to be his plan) in an effort to drive a wedge between Chloe and her partner because he believes that she is the “first love” of a prophecy that promises that “when the devil walks the Earth and finds his first love, evil shall be released.”

Lucifer eventually confronts her and she tearfully admits not only her plan but hesitates just an instant too long when he asks her if she will ever be able to truly accept all of who he is. Here Lauren German is finally given the opportunity to add some real depth to what has too often been a fairly flat character, and she steps up nicely throughout this subplot as we watch Chloe struggle to come to terms with her love for the man developing behind the face of the originary monster.

Lucifer’s Rebound, Eve

Lucifer is crushed by Chloe’s confession, and it is this which jumpstarts the primary plot of season four as we are introduced to probably the most famous of Lucifer’s exes: Eve, who has recently escaped the unending boredom (we are told) of heaven, and is looking to hook up with her former lover. Eve’s conflict, as a character, comes from the fact that she was “created for (Adam). Turns out an arranged existence kind of takes the spark out of things.” She is, apparently, willing to accept all of what Lucifer is—something that he desperately needs at that point—and proceeds to join (or rather lead) him back into the life of debauchery that he was living before he began working with the Detective. Unfortunately for all involved, she seems to also have a fetish for his ability to punish people and actively rekindles his desire to do so, further estranging him from Chloe and the rest of his friends.

Charlie the Marginal Angel

Those friends, however, have their hands full. Dr. Martin and Amenadiel’s all-too-brief romantic alliance, it turns out, has borne fruit: she’s pregnant, though whether she will give birth to a fully human child or a more celestial being is unclear until the very end of the season when we learn that, while Charlie has no (obvious) wings, he likely is, in fact, at least marginally angelic. The angel Remiel does appear at one point to end Linda’s pregnancy by taking the unborn child, as an angel/human hybrid is forbidden, but Amenadiel manages to convince her to leave his family alone. Watching Linda and Amenadiel attempt to come to grips not just with impending parenthood but the uncertainty of their specific type of parenthood (including the VERY timely issue of what it means to be a Black parent to a Black son in America) allows both actors to turn in their best performances on the show to date.

Others struggle to make sense of their places and feelings in a changing landscape.

The Lucifer B-Team

Dan is essentially destroyed by Charlotte’s death at the end of season three and goes on a vengeful crusade against Lucifer, reverting to his corrupt ways in his attempt to alternately punish his ex-wife’s partner for her death—though his rationale for Lucifer’s guilt is murky at best—or cut through procedural red tape on cases. He believes that Lucifer is responsible for another outrage, that of having broken a criminal suspect’s back (which Dan is correct about), but his missteps eventually put Trixie at risk and he continues to spiral down, including trying to provoke Mazikeen into hurting him, as well as starting an ill-advised affair with Ella.

Ella is likewise struggling with Charlotte’s death which has shaken her religious beliefs. Over the first half of the season, we watch her go from being “on a break from the Big Guy” to outright stating that God does not exist. It is likely this which opens the door to her sexual entanglement with Dan. When she learns that Dan is the one who told a suspect’s criminal father that Lucifer broke his son’s back—which led said criminal to send muscle to Lucifer’s penthouse to kill him and catching Trixie in the crossfire—Ella keeps Dan’s secret but tells him he is in pain and needs help.

Mazikeen has had one support after another knocked out from beneath her on the show. First she faced rejection and/or betrayal (in her eyes) from both Lucifer and Amenadiel; then her best friend snuck around with her former lover, and now she has found out that her roommate, Chloe, is only pretending that things are okay between the two of them after the Detective learns of her true nature, and that she is actually keeping Mazikeen’s first friend, Chloe’s daughter Trixie, from being anywhere near her. When she attempts to then base her self-worth on her status as the impending child’s aunt or as Dan’s partner in marginal crime and definite violence, both possibilities collapse, and she’s left rudderless.

Eve’s Original Sin

In the midst of this, Eve has been tempting the Devil, and he is lapping it up, joining her in sexual debauchery and violence-rich punishment of the criminal, though we begin to suspect that Eve cares little about their targets’ actual guilt. This leads to mistakes and escalating estrangement from Chloe, as well as Lucifer’s growing sense that while Eve says she wants him to be himself, her view of who he is is as misguided and ultimately self-serving as the Detective’s was until she saw his true face. He knows that while he has always claimed he is not evil, he is skating dangerously close to becoming so, and as Amenadiel sussed out, an angel’s perception of himself has tangible effects: Lucifer’s wings are back but they are the leathery, horrific appendages humanity has always imagined him having rather than the beautiful ones that left humans awestruck in previous seasons. He becomes intent on stopping his transformation, and knows that this begins with rejecting Eve.

He tries, at first, to tell her of the prophecy, but all she hears is that she is his “first love” and takes it as a declaration of his feelings. He then attempts to get her to leave him, perhaps too guilty at having used her to get distance from Chloe. He turns himself into the prototypical bad boyfriend, forgetting perhaps that adapting herself to her man is her jam. When he finally confronts her, he tells her that he doesn’t like who he is with her, which, while true, isn’t the whole truth as he later admits to Linda: he doesn’t like himself. Full stop. He hates himself and it’s that that fuels his continuing transformation.

Not Standing by Your (Wo)Man

But that’s not his greatest danger. Nor the greatest danger he poses to humanity. Eve’s desire for him drives her to extremes, and after Maze’s standard man-getting advice fails, Eve kidnaps Father Kinley from police custody in an attempt to get him to convince Lucifer that the prophecy isn’t true and they can be together (though her intentions are unclear perhaps because Eve’s thinking is becoming more random and desperate). But Maze finally confronts her with the truth: he doesn’t return her feelings (anymore, Maze realizes, then Eve does hers, the demon having fallen for Eve) and she needs to get over it. But Eve cannot and when Kinley tempts her with the possibility of having Lucifer to herself and rendering the prophecy moot by getting him to return to Hell with her as his queen, she takes advantage of having to kill the priest (in self-defense) by telling him to deliver a message to the demons who control Hell: come get your king.

The demons, able to inhabit the bodies of the recently deceased, begin to possess the dead (starting with Kinley, who is taken over by the demon Dromos). When Lucifer orders them back to hell, informing them he has no actual plans to return, the demons come up with a backup plan: they grab the nearest defenseless celestial (since Hell’s king must be an angel): the recently arrived Charlie. They plan to perform Kinley’s exorcism on Linda and Amenadiel’s son and raise him to rule Hell as they want it run. Lucifer eventually cows them and forces them to return to Hell and all seems to be happily resolved.

Except that just about everyone is either heartbroken or otherwise shaken.

Eve has redeemed herself in the final battle, but knows that Lucifer will never love her. Rather than turn to Maze, she decides she needs to stop trying to define herself by who she is in a relationship with, and chooses to head off on that most quintessential of LA quests: to find herself. Maze is devastated. Dan is left to deal with the emotional fallout of his bad decisions, and while Charlie is safely back in his parents’ arms, it is with a very clear understanding of the risks they face as a family.

And, of course, the long awaited declarations of love between Lucifer and the Detective finally do happen, but only as he announces that he now knows that Hell cannot remain unguarded—that the demons would just return and that they could hurt Charlie or her–and he must go back…with no hope of return.

So thank uh…hmmm…Charlotte(?)…that Netflix renewed Lucifer for a fifth season because, while that would have made for an excellent end to a tragedy, I have now become a fan and am hoping for a happier ending. Now that we know there’s also to be a sixth season, I doubt that we’ll get that type of emotionally satisfying closure this year, but the trailers thus far have promised more than enough of the type of action, angst, and even comedy that has made the show such a favorite. It’ll be a Hell of a ride.

The post Lucifer Season 4 Recap: The Devil’s in the Details appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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hufflly-puffs · 5 years

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Chapter 23: Horcruxes

“‘Nonsense,’ said Slughorn briskly, ‘couldn’t be plainer you come from decent wizarding stock, abilities like yours. No, you’ll go far, Tom, I’ve never been wrong about a student yet.’” – When Slughorn had modified his memory there were two parts he had erased; the conversation about the Horcruxes obviously, but also this part. Slughorn telling the young Tom Riddle that he will become Minister of Magic and that he will achieve great things. Arguably Voldemort does become one of the greatest wizards, though in a way Slughorn could not have predicted. He also still believes that a talented wizard must come from a Wizard family; perhaps Lily was the first Muggleborn witch to prove him wrong and change his mind. Slughorn is not just ashamed for telling Riddle about the Horcruxes but also because he, as almost every other teacher at Hogwarts, was intrigued by the young man in front of him, too blind to see his real nature.

“It was very well done, thought Harry, the hesitancy, the casual tone, the careful flattery, none of it overdone. He, Harry, had had too much experience of trying to wheedle information out of reluctant people not to recognise a master at work. He could tell that Riddle wanted the information very, very much; perhaps had been working towards this moment for weeks.” – No offence, but Harry is not very skilled at getting information out of people. I mean he knows how to get Hagrid to tell him what he wants, but Hagrid is kind of an easy target. And unlike Riddle Harry needed a potion to get information out of Slughorn.

“‘Well, you split your soul, you see,’ said Slughorn, ‘and hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of the soul remains earthbound and undamaged. But, of course, existence in such a form …’ Slughorn’s face crumpled and Harry found himself remembering words he had heard nearly two years before. ‘I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost … but still, I was alive.’”- I mean you are still alive but at what price? Obviously Riddle had no problem with murdering other people or to rip his soul apart, but after the Killing Curse backfired it left him in a state of merely existing, depending on others to give him back his body, and it took 13 years to do so. And if Voldemort hates anything than it is to depend on others.

We learn that there is a spell to create a Horcrux, though Slughorn doesn’t know it (why would he?). Riddle obviously does find out about it at some point, but therefore the murder of his father and grandparents was not used to create a Horcrux, as he did not know how yet, and neither was the murder of Myrtle. Both the diary and Gaunt’s ring were souvenirs/reminders of the murders he had committed and became later Horcruxes, but not through the murders we associate them with. Therefore two additional murders had to happen to create those Horcruxes.

“‘But all the same, Tom … keep it quiet, what I’ve told – that’s to say, what we’ve discussed. People wouldn’t like to think we’ve been chatting about Horcruxes. It’s a banned subject at Hogwarts, you know … Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it …’” – I wonder how Slughorn came to know about Horcruxes, but perhaps it was simply academic curiosity, perhaps he is drawn to Dark magic as well, but from a complete theoretical point of view. He is aware however that knowing about such things and furthermore discussing them with a student would put him in a certain light. What is also interesting is that Dumbledore (who is not Headmaster yet) is very strict to keep the subject banned. Is this something he had discussed perhaps with Grindelwald? He seems to have a very personal interest in it.

Also, however guilty Slughorn feels for giving Riddle information about the Horcruxes, he is not responsible for what became of Riddle and the crimes he committed. If it had not been for Slughorn Riddle would have got the information he needed somewhere else; clearly he had already heard about it somewhere else before. And it is not like Slughorn told him how to create a Horcrux, Riddle found out about it somewhere else as well.

The other question is why Dumbledore needed that information. We know that he was already aware of the concept of Horcruxes and there aren’t many options to gain immortality in the Wizarding World, so the thought that Voldemort had created Horcruxes must have crossed his mind before. And even with the first modified memory it was confirmed that Riddle was curious about them. I think the only new information for Dumbledore is the number of Horcruxes Voldemort had created, crucial to know if one plans to kill Voldemort.

“‘Then you told me, two years later, that on the night that Voldemort returned to his body, he made a most illuminating and alarming statement to his Death Eaters. “I, who have gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality.” That was what you told me he said. “Further than anybody.” And I thought I knew what that meant, though the Death Eaters did not. He was referring to his Horcruxes, Horcruxes in the plural, Harry, which I do not believe any other wizard has ever had. Yet it fitted: Lord Voldemort had seemed to grow less human with the passing years, and the transformation he had undergone seemed to me to be only explicable if his soul was mutilated beyond the realms of what we might call usual evil …’” – It would make sense that the Death Eaters do not know about the Horcruxes, because Voldemort does not trust anybody, not even his followers, afraid they could turn against him. We do know that Regulus Black however found out about them and tried to destroy one Horcrux. Both Wormtail and Barty Crouch Jun. helped Voldemort to get back his body, so at the very least they had to wonder how he did not die. Other Death Eaters might have asked the same question after their master came back. But even if some of them suspected the same thing as Dumbledore, they do not know how many Horcruxes Voldemort created or which objects he had used, and none of them would dare to turn against Voldemort.

“‘But firstly, no, Harry, not seven Horcruxes: six. The seventh part of his soul, however maimed, resides inside his regenerated body. That was the part of him that lived a spectral existence for so many years during his exile; without that, he has no self at all. That seventh piece of soul will be the last that anybody wishing to kill Voldemort must attack – the piece that lives in his body.’” – First of all, from a metaphysical point of view, it is interesting that something like a soul exists, that it is not just an abstract concept, but something every human owns, and furthermore something that can be corrupted and torn apart. Additionally there seems to be a connection between the body and the soul. Voldemort’s body changes the more Horcruxes he creates, he looks less and less human. But also his ‘original’ soul remains in his body, and Dumbledore describes it as Voldemort’s ‘self’. Interesting enough the diary-Horcrux had a personality of its own, it acted on its own, and shared knowledge with the other parts of Voldemort’s soul, because the 16-year-old Riddle did know what would happen to him in the future and knew who Harry was. Yet, the piece of soul in Voldemort’s body is his ‘self’, and the last part of him that needs to be destroyed. Otherwise the same thing would happen as the last time somebody attacked Voldemort’s body (the night the Killing Curse fired back) – the body would be destroyed but not the remaining soul.

“I stumbled across the ring hidden in the ruin of the Gaunts’ house. It seems that once Voldemort had succeeded in sealing a piece of his soul inside it, he did not want to wear it any more.” – I wonder why though. Wouldn’t it be safer to keep his Horcruxes nearby? Perhaps he thought it would be more difficult to trace back all the places where he had hidden one of them, perhaps he had assumed in his arrogance that nobody would figure out all the places and objects he had chosen, maybe he had even thought he would feel it if one of them gets destroyed, though we know he does not. And he knows that by now as well, because the diary was destroyed and he did not feel it and only found out about it later.

“Lord Voldemort liked to collect trophies, and he preferred objects with a powerful magical history. His pride, his belief in his own superiority, his determination to carve for himself a startling place in magical history; these things suggest to me that Voldemort would have chosen his Horcruxes with some care, favouring objects worthy of the honour.” – Imagine though he would have chosen the most trivial objects, hiding them in the most random places. But his own arrogance was his downfall in the end.

“‘The snake?’ said Harry, startled. ‘You can use animals as Horcruxes?’ ‘Well, it is inadvisable to do so,’ said Dumbledore, ‘because to confide a part of your soul to something that can think and move for itself is obviously a very risky business. However, if my calculations are correct, Voldemort was still at least one Horcrux short of his goal of six when he entered your parents’ house with the intention of killing you. ‘He seems to have reserved the process of making Horcruxes for particularly significant deaths. You would certainly have been that. He believed that in killing you, he was destroying the danger the prophecy had outlined. He believed he was making himself invincible. I am sure that he was intending to make his final Horcrux with your death. ‘As we know, he failed. After an interval of some years, however, he used Nagini to kill an old Muggle man, and it might then have occurred to him to turn her into his last Horcrux. She underlines the Slytherin connection, which enhances Lord Voldemort’s mystique. I think he is perhaps as fond of her as he can be of anything; he certainly likes to keep her close and he seems to have an unusual amount of control over her, even for a Parselmouth.’” – We do know a living thing that has been transformed into a Horcrux: Harry. Harry, who is very much his own person, and can’t be controlled by Voldemort, because it causes Voldemort pain. Of course the situation with Nagini might be different, because animals are easier to control. The other thing is that Dumbledore suspects that Voldemort had planned to use Harry’s death to create a final Horcrux. Therefore he must have used the spell before he had entered the Potter’s house, because after he was no longer able to do so. And it would explain why Harry became a Horcrux; Voldemort had used the spell, a murder had happened (his own murder) and Harry was the only living thing present. However the murder of Frank Bryce does not seem like something Voldemort had planned, so the only way to use it was to say the spell after the murder. Why would Voldemort have created a new Horcrux back then though, when he was already so weak? We know that Nagini is in fact a Horcrux but Dumbledore might be wrong when it happened; it makes more sense Voldemort did it after he had his body back.

“Harry felt his heart lift. It was very good not to hear words of caution and protection for once. The headmasters and headmistresses around the walls seemed less impressed by Dumbledore’s decision; Harry saw a few of them shaking their heads and Phineas Nigellus actually snorted.” – I think Dumbledore’s decision to take Harry with him to destroy another Horcrux is based on the knowledge that Harry needs to know how, knowing that he himself has not much time to live left, given the curse of the ring. Dumbledore knows he can’t finish the job, so he gives Harry all the tools to do it instead.

“‘Yes, I think so,’ said Dumbledore. ‘Without his Horcruxes, Voldemort will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Never forget, though, that while his soul may be damaged beyond repair, his brain and his magical power remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill a wizard like Voldemort, even without his Horcruxes.’” – Or simply use “Expelliarmus”, that will do the trick.

“‘If Voldemort had never heard of the prophecy, would it have been fulfilled? Would it have meant anything? Of course not! Do you think every prophecy in the Hall of Prophecy has been fulfilled?’” – Considering this, can we still apply the concept of destiny to the Wizarding World? The prophecy about Voldemort and Harry was a self-fulfilling prophecy – it became true because Voldemort tried to prevent it. Many however are not even aware of a prophecy made about them, perhaps also because they are so vague nobody knows who they refer to. Even in the Wizarding World things are not set in stone; free will and choice still exist.

“Voldemort himself created his worst enemy, just as tyrants everywhere do! Have you any idea how much tyrants fear the people they oppress? All of them realise that, one day, amongst their many victims, there is sure to be one who rises against them and strikes back!” – Voldemort fears the people he oppresses as much as the people who follow him. All of his actions are based on fear, he creates fear in others, but he knows that one day this fear will turn to anger, that one day somebody will fight back, someone who is not afraid, not even of death, unlike him. The most dangerous people are those with nothing left to lose.

“‘You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!’ said Dumbledore loudly. ‘The only protection that can possibly work against the lure of power like Voldemort’s! In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your heart’s desire, and it showed you only the way to thwart Lord Voldemort, and not immortality or riches. Harry, have you any idea how few wizards could have seen what you saw in that mirror? Voldemort should have known then what he was dealing with, but he did not!” – Harry’s weapon is his ability to love, his innocence, his purity. Despite the loss of his parents, the damage the Dursleys caused, despite losing Sirius, his heart, his soul remain pure. He is not broken, he did not become cruel, life has not hardened him. After Sirius’s death Harry had wished he could not feel a thing, but it is his ability to feel so intense, to care that much, that makes him unique. We saw the bitter man Snape turned into after his abusive childhood, after being bullied in school. The Dark Arts, the Death Eaters, seduced him; he had lost that innocence Harry still carries within himself. It is the hardest thing in the world to remain soft, loving and caring, despite our sufferings, and Harry is too young yet to understand how remarkable he is because of it.

“But he understood at last what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew – and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents – that there was all the difference in the world.” – It is important that Harry does not act against Voldemort because he has to, because a prophecy told him he would, or because he knows Voldemort will never stop hunting him. He acts because it is the right thing to do, because he could not live with himself if he does not. And in the end it is very important that Harry’s choice to sacrifice himself is his own, that nobody forces him to do so. He dies the same way his mother did, to protect the people he loves, a love so deep Voldemort was never able to understand, becoming his downfall in the end.

#Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince #Horcruxes #chapter notes #hbp

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asherlockstudy · 5 years

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Well, the Valonqar prophecy was fulfilled though

Poor me trying to explain all the fuckery that was Jaime’s scenes

Hear me out. But before you do, disclaimer! everything I will say here is 99% the result of shitty writing that incidentally can be read as something “more”. Believe me, I have no faith in the next episode. In fact, I am kind of...jolly because the treatment of most characters was so bad I ended up finding it entertaining. However, there are some things regarding Jaime’s scenes that I couldn’t avoid considering so I’m going to write them down even if it’s for nothing. Which it almost certainly is.

Sooooo...the worst case scenario was the real one as it usually happens in this shitty world. Jaime Lannister bids his farewell to his character arc of 7,5 seasons and rides back to King’s Landing to die with Cersei.

There are some curious nuances to that general assumption here, one of them being that the way Jaime essentially breaks up with Brienne in the previous episode was so ambiguous that half the viewers, even some who didn’t care for the relationship of these two, were convinced Jaime was planning to kill Cersei and didn’t want Brienne to follow.Then again, this ambiguity might have been intentional by our brilliant writers - who will Jaime choose in the end?

So let’s talk about the last encounter of the Lannister brothers. Let me tell you, A LOT of weird things happen in that scene.

First: According to the Unsullied, Daenerys was not the one who commanded them to guard Jaime. Someone else that we never got to know gave the order and Tyrion makes the mistake to not ask their identity. When Tyrion asks “was it the Queen”, the soldier laconically answers “No” and I wonder if there’s some certain weight hiding in that withdrawn piece of information. The Unsullied could have simply said “Greyworm’s orders” or something like that. Hmmm. Then again, it could be that D&D felt they were giving Tyrion a clever line about outranking there (lol). Or, if we are very, very, very hopeful, someone that outranks Tyrion in ways we don’t yet know wanted Jaime guarded out of Tyrion’s reach. And that someone wasn’t Daenerys.

Second: Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by now but in the very first seconds we have another proof that Jaime is stupid™. He just decided to walk around or through Dany’s camp flashing the gold hand left and right. When Tyrion asks him why on earth he didn’t hide it, Jaime, also somewhat laconically, says it was because he was stupid. In the last season, we saw that Jaime had the common sense to hide his hand before heading for the North. So, is Jaime’s low IQ dropped even more here, reaching abysmal depths, or did he think he shouldn’t have anything to fear if he walked through Dany and Jon’s lines as Jaime Lannister?

Third: Well, watch the scene. Jaime is actually not only fed up with the whole chaos but he’s also reluctant to help Cersei, at least in the way Tyrion instructs him to. Look at their dialogue:

Tyrion: You’re going to her. To die with her.

Jaime: You’ve underestimated her before. (Soooo he was going there to live with her? In the middle of that utter destruction? It seems Jaime believed Sansa’s words about Cersei’s victory more than Tyrion’s. Jaime deflects Tyrion’s observation here.)

Tyrion: She’s going to die. Unless you can convince her to change her course of action.

Jaime: Difficult to do from here. (Excuse)

Tyrion shows the key to his chains.

Jaime: Ooooh, when have I ever been able to convince Cersei of anything? (Is it me or is he actually fighting it?!)

Tyrion: Try. If not for yourself, if not for her, then for everyone of the million people in that city, innocent or otherwise. (Tyrion knows all the things that motivated Jaime once.)

Jaime: To be honest, I never really cared much for them. Innocent or otherwise. (There, fellows, you heard it. Jaime Lannister just said he doesn’t care for the innocents. Whom he decided to protect from a mad king 20 years ago and from 100000 zombies a few days ago. I promised to fight for the living, he said. With. one. hand. Either D&D are fucking delusional or Jaime is really fighting against his brother’s proposition to help their sister. To the point of “fuck everything”.)

Tyrion (a little taken aback): You do care for an innocent. I know you do. So does Cersei. She has a reason now.

Jaime (after a little consideration): The child is the reason she’ll never give an inch. All the worst things she’s ever done, she’s done for her children...... It’s not impossible that she’ll win. (LOL “fuck everything including my kids... shit I overdid it here...let’s go back to the first argument because I have nothing else to say”)

Tyrion: She won’t.

Jaime: Her enemies’ forces have been depleted as she said they would be. Two of the three dragons are dead. She’s evened the odds -

Tyrion: The city will fall tomorrow -

Jaime: ...she has the Lannister army, she has the gold- (”pls let me recite all the reasons why I should not help her”)

Tyrion: I defended the city the last time it was attacked, I know it better than anyone, it will fall tomorrow!

Jaime: Then I suppose I’ll die tomorrow, if not before! (”CAN YOU JUST LET ME DIE HERE IN PEACE?”)

Tyrion: Why?! (”WTF ‘S WRONG WITH YOU?”) Escape. The two of you together. Remember where we met, where they keep the dragon skulls beneath the Red Keep (let’s not start with the dragons out of stone again), take her down there, keep following the stairway down down as far as they’ll go, you’ll come out onto a beach at the foot of the Keep but a dinghy will be waiting for you. Sail out of the bay, if the winds are kind, you’ll make it to Pentos. Start a new life.

Jaime (weakly but sarcastically): Sail right past the Iron Fleet and into a new life...sounds a lot less likely than Cersei winning this - (Hey, you got to give it to this man, he’s still trying)

Tyrion: There won’t be an Iron Fleet for much longer! Do it! If you don’t, you’ll never see Cersei again!

Tyrion: Swear to me!

Jaime: YOU HAVE MY WORD!!!!

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Jaime just needs to give his word to someone.

I won’t try to sugarcoat it and claim Jaime gave zero shit for Cersei but I think the reason he eventually complied was because he saw how much Tyrion wanted it. He decided to do it for Tyrion, first and foremost. Jaime only starts considering Tyrion’s proposal when his brother suggests that if he takes his pregnant sister far away from the capital, he might have a chance at a new life with a child and a hopefully mellower Cersei. Still, he tries to refuse but then it’s honestly Tyrion who forces him to care again for Cersei and also technically demands him to remember his duty as a Knight. In a way, Tyrion creates a dreamy image of Jaime making a healthy family with a sane Cersei and Jaime uneagerly succumbs to it. Again, in a way, Tyrion takes the role of the small devil in Jaime’s mind, even though he has good intentions for his sibling.

I have many questions here. I don’t understand why Jaime decided to return (or, rather, teleport) there. He didn’t seem to have a plan or to be seriously determined to get back to Cersei. I wonder if what some fans said is true - Jaime returned because he felt he deserved to die as much as the rest of the Lannisters, without intending to help them. Why is Jaime so reluctant to follow Tyrion’s helpful plan and save Cersei and their child, if this was supposedly the reason he left Brienne? So many things don’t add up here. We have many scenes lately where Jaime looks like he has an inner fight that none of us or the other characters can truly decipher. However, it might be something we’ve seen before - Jaime gives up easily. The moment he was captured, he thought everything was pointless and embraced the possibility of death. Like when his hand was cut and was starving himself, willing to die until Brienne talked him out of it. The other possibility is that he didn’t trust Tyrion and thought he was probably testing his allegiances but first, if he said Cersei was going to win, Dany would be mad anyway and second, Jaime is too naive to consider that his brother might set a trap for him, which is right actually. Tyrion wouldn’t do this to Jaime. The last possibility is that Jaime had a bad premonition for this and he didn’t want to do it. Whatever the reason was, Jaime originally felt he shouldn’t do it but was essentially forced to do it out of honour, duty, love for his brother and a teensy glimpse of planted hope that he and Cersei might actually have had a chance to leave the past behind.

But I do think he’s conflicted.

That’s the last we see of Jaime before he truly descends into his character assassination. To me, this shot shows that he is really conflicted. He doesn’t want to do what Tyrion asked him to do. But he is going to do it all the same. I don’t know why he is so negative towards it? Is it him having different plans? Different beliefs on what his and Cersei’s fate should be? Or is it instict? Instict isn’t a satisfactory answer either because he was already prepared to die and I’m quite confident that deep inside Jaime knew Tyrion was right about Cersei losing that war and dying.

The stupidity starts when Jaime meets Euron. Euron’s like hey let’s fight for no reason and Jaime’s like got a job to do but then Euron tells him come on kill another king or if I kill you, I’ll give your head to Cersei and you can kiss her one last time so that’s the last straw for Jaime and he engages in a one handed fight he should have lost. I think this simply is terrible ridiculous writing. The screenwriters felt they were massacring Jaime’s character which is why they had Tyrion exclaim how important Jaime was for him (I can accept that) and have him take out a bad guy before he goes for the lame suicide. Of course the last one was simply a piece of crap and felt forced and unnecessary. Cripple Jaime takes a sword in the kidneys like twice, then kills Euron and then probably ascends a staircase of like 1000 steps to reach the Red Keep and then also descends them and dies from rocks instead. LMAO at that. Was it the power of love? Was the Gold Lion that Jaime always was? Was it the shittiest writing in history of a TV show? Well. I find suspicious that Euron keeps repeating Jaime managed to kill a second king though. Here’s a guess - Jaime is supposed to take another king or queen down in the books but the screenwriters had to adjust the writing for the surprise!!!! So we got that caricature of Euron, self- proclaimed a king, to die by Jaime. They could use a little kid instead with a label reading KING on his forehead. Another weird thing: “I killed Jaime Lannister!”. I wonder if this has any meaning at all because eventually Jaime commits suicide with a rock and THAT’S what happened. A sword in the kidneys? Twice? Such superficial scratches don’t get to the mighty Jaime Lannister. And I wish this was the only fuckery in this scene:

Jaime does not have Window’s Wail. He carries a plain sword.

Definitely not this one. The plot thickens, wouldn’t you agree? I don’t know how much I can hypothesize here but if this is Jaime Jaime (honestly, I start doubting it for real) then JAIME DID NOT TAKE HIS TWIN SWORD HE HAD WITH BRIENNE IN HIS MISSION TO SAVE CERSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something is seriously weird here. We have a pointless scene between Jaime and Euron. In this pointless scene Jaime doesn’t use his own sword (which is also connected to Brienne) and Euron says “I am the man who killed Jaime Lannister” and yet Jaime is capable of walking thousands of steps up and down and then he dies because of a completely different cause. How long would he stay alive if he didn’t die from the Red Keep’s collapse? Why was this scene needed? Is it just THAT bad writing and the need to atone for what is about to follow? Did D&D feel he needed to atone for what he was about to do?

Here’s an unpopular opinion. I don’t think Jaime needs to atone for anything. Do I like the choice he made in the end? No. Do I like the way he chose to die in the end? No. However, bear with me, D&D and Nik are right when they say that ending felt real to the character, even if he didn’t deserve it. We all expected Jaime to kill Cersei for all the abuse she did to him and all the evil she was responsible for but this ending had me thinking; since when does Jaime kill people out of spite or to take revenge or to punish? Has Jaime ever shown signs of violent fury, even if it’s justified? If I remember correctly, Jaime explicitly said he wasn’t interested in taking revenge from Locke for maiming him, although even Brienne thought this would be an understandable desire. Jaime kept protecting the people, innocent or otherwise, even though they ‘ve been loathing him for decades for saving them from the Mad King. Most of the crimes he has committed were for love (healthy or not) or protectivity or by mistake. I don’t want to include the murder of his cousin here because THIS was the most out of character thing Jaime has done and I’m willing to bet D&D wanted to make his redemption arc that started shortly after more SurPriSiNg.

So it doesn’t weird me out that as he was dying he couldn’t hold anything against his toxic sister anymore. Neither does it annoy me that Cersei was terrified and most of her arrogance had left her at that Day of Reckoning. Why did this make people so mad? It’s delusional to think that Cersei was the Big Villain. She never had anything on Joffrey or Ramsey or (book) Euron or Aerys or his nice daughter. She was a horrible woman who deserved to die, that’s for sure, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want a close person back to her as they were about to die or that she wouldn’t realise before the end that some things should have mattered to her more than power.

When Jaime meets her again, there’s no fight left inside him. He’s the old Jaime again, the one who loves her unconditionally, unlike the one we saw with Tyrion. I wonder if this has an emotional or a symbolic meaning or perhaps I am thinking too deep into this. It could be explained emotionally because Jaime knows they are both going to die and it’s pointless to oppose to her at this point. She dies, the child dies, he dies. What would be the point of choking her to death when they can die as lovers or as siblings (awkward) embracing each other. Fans forget that they had found themselves in a position where previous fights and hate did not matter anymore since they would definitely die anyway. It’s a parallel with the fight between the Hound and the Mountain who pointlessly decided to kill each other although they would 99% die anyway. The Hound and Jaime follow parallel paths in this case - they could have never returned. They could have left hate and desire for vengence or the toxic love behind and they would have lived. They both get punished for being unable to leave the past behind even in an hour like that - Hound is punished by having the death he dreaded and Jaime is punished by having all his prospects buried along with himself and the love he supposedly couldn’t shake off. There is a huge difference though - the Hound is consistent throughout his whole life about wanting revenge from his brother whereas Jaime falters and fumbles, tries to resist and it is ultimately Tyrion who convinces him to return back to Cersei irreversibly. Jaime holds Cersei tenderly, delays and then leads her beneath the Red Keep.

Why was Arya there? What was the point of having her reach King’s Landing and enter the Red Keep only to live and survive? Maybe the point was that Cersei, who always desired to survive, if not for herself then for the elephant baby she was apparently gestating for like 2 years, might have had a chance to escape. Sure, she ‘s portrayed to be lost and helpless and as the Red Keep collapses around her, she has lost her quick thinking unlike Arya. However, there was still a chance like there was a chance for the Hound and the Mountain if they hadn’t chosen to kill each other instead. There was a small possibility for Cersei to survive. Tyrion and Jaime took that chance from her. Tyrion had the idea and Jaime executed it. Both her little brothers sealed her death.

The prophecy was fulfilled and I am sure it was going to follow a similar path in the books. GRRM has said that prophecies are not to be trusted but I think it’s obvious he wouldn’t spend so much time in them if none of it was going to be proven right. The thing is, the prophecies will come true in ways we don’t expect. We were searching for the valonqar but there were two people in Cersei’s life who could fit that role and both had a part in the fulfillment of the prophecy, a part that felt very real for each character. Tyrion, as the clever -er Lannister, is the “mastermind” behind the plan. He tries to compensate for his stupidity upon realising that he tried to fight the evil in King’s Landing by bringing an even bigger one. Filled with guilt, he tries to atone by helping the family he had turned against, even if the family was problematic. He sends Jaime to her rescue, thinking that he helps his loving brother and his innocent child and that he asks forgiveness from his sister for destroying the entire city because of their personal vendetta. (Because whatever was wrong between the two siblings, it should not fall on the people’s heads.) On the other hand, Jaime “the soldier” is the executioner who second-guesses what he’s about to do but he does it as a Knight, out of duty for his family. He outdoes himself in order to find her and lead her to the dungeons of the Red Keep, where there’s no way out.

And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.

That happened. Cersei is desperate, truly drowned in her tears, begging Jaime to save her, supposedly for the child. Jaime looks around a bit and easily embraces their fate. He holds her there in place while she cries she wants the child to live. Jaime wraps his fingers around her neck tenderly and essentially bares her from that last reason for her to survive and tells her that nothing matters but them (who supposedly have no reason or worth to stay alive but should leave this world together instead). This is confusing - does Jaime truly throws everything else that meant something to him in the dumpster or does he want to make Cersei’s death as sweet as possible? Trying to convince her that she shouldn’t worry about all the reasons why she should live but instead think that she dies like they always said they would - with him, together. I know many people didn’t like how good Cersei’s death was but it wasn’t a good death in my opinion - better than fire but still scary and tragic as hell. Cersei keeps lamenting “Not like this, not like this, not like this” which means she hated the way she was about to die. True enough, she dies from the castle that was the symbol of the power she yearned for so much, while a young and beautiful queen takes everything she loved from her: her crown, the child, herself and, well, her brother who she did not love healthily or selflessly but, still, loved more than anyone else besides her children, I guess. Furthermore, Cersei always wanted to die on her own terms, an opportunity that was also taken from her. She’s pregnant, so she doesn’t want to die by drinking poison and leaving this world with her pride intact. Furthermore, she is not the one who handles the situation. She becomes the follower for once in her life, trusting in Jaime who would always protect her, only to be led by him to her certain and unavoidable death. Jaime himself is the one who demands of her to accept the truth and face death.

Of couse he dies too. I guess. This ending leaves me baffled in the sense that the Lannister brothers’ fate is now too interwined. Cersei’s death reminds me of Tywin’s - Tyrion kills Tywin because Jaime allowed it to happen in a way and now Jaime kills Cersei because Tyrion convinced him to lead her down there. At this point, both the brothers have fulfilled all the criteria for the prophecies of Azor Ahai and the Valonqar, but the one is dead and the other doesn’t strike me as a fighter sent from a god. Of course, like people and leaks say 1385 times per day, the prophecies don’t matter much, especially in the show but I just...can’t unsee it. The Valonqar was definitely fulfilled. I suspect the Three Headed Dragon one rings true too in some ways, regarding Dany, Jon and the dragons. And if somehow Jaime survives this collapse, or doesn’t, it doesn’t matter, he could be resurrected by the Lord of Light like Jon was after around 30 swords in his guts, then he won’t just survive just to be a humble worn dude living peacefully (with Brienne). If Jaime survives, that makes him Azor Ahai or makes him the King of Westeros or both. So either we’ll get nothing or everything.

Long story short, while Jaime’s storyline has unbelievably many loose threads and I don’t hate it. I’ve decided I won’t hate him even if that was the last we saw of him. Jaime didn’t reunite with Cersei as a lover either, they reunited as twin siblings. This is my very subjective perception of it but I like to think that the baby doesn’t matter to Jaime anymore because that nature of his relationship with Cersei doesn’t matter to him anymore. But she’s still family and he still had dedicated 40 years of his life to her. He was never very clever and he has always been self-destructive and, worse, he always needed someone to urge him towards a certain direction. I want to emphasize this, which is also why I always expected certain big things from Jaime; although Jaime has a good understanding of the world and what’s right, he rarely, if ever, takes the initiative to do something on his own. He’s usually pushed by others, Cersei, Brienne, Tyrion towards a direction. This is why I always thought Jaime was guided by his destiny like there’s an invisible hand pushing him without him realising it. I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern about Jaime - he does not respond in critical questions that start with “Why”.

Jaime eventually tells Catelyn he pushed Bran out of the window. She asks him why and he never responds. However, he later tells her he sleeps with Cersei so this wasn’t the reason he didn’t respond.

Brienne asks him why he saved her from Bolton’s men. He never responds. You could argue that he starts developing feelings and can’t process them yet but this actually was the equivalent of his book “I dreamt of you” explanation after the Bear Pit. So, it was like destiny was showing him the way without him realising it.

As we saw, Tyrion asks Jaime why he finds so many excuses against following his plan to save Cersei and himself. Jaime never responds. It’s as if this goes against his destiny and he tries to avoid it but then destiny meets him anyway beneath the Red Keep. Jaime embraces his and Cersei’s death far too easily.

And since I spoke of “unbelievably many loose threads” let me make a summary of Jaime in the 8th season for the end.

Bran sees Jaime is heading for Winterfell and waits for him throughout the cold winter night. He doesn’t seem to have a precise picture of when exactly Jaime will arrive and he prefers to stay out there than be the one to tell the truth to Jon about his heritage. In short, Bran waits for Jaime and has an assistant to do what very soon will unleash hell in the entirety of Westeros. Jaime is vindicated in his trial or, at least, tolerated. Bran watches the trial intently and then he also watches intently Jaime looking at Brienne. Jaime apologizes to Bran which Bran almost dismisses as something he did to protect his family. Jaime however says he’s not that man anymore. He asks Bran why he didn’t blame him in the trial and Bran insinuates Jaime will prove very helpful soon (supposedly in the Long Night). Jaime asks what will happen afterwards and Bran looks (for like the first time ever) intrigued and entertained at Jaime’s certainity that he will survive. Jaime spends the rest of the days fanboying over Brienne, expressing his gratitude, knighting her and asking to fight under her command. In the battle of Winterfell, both care to save each other more than to save themselves. Sam has an inexplicable moment of pause during the battle, where he sees through the fire Jaime fighting like crazy with something that looks suspiciously like a functioning right hand. Jaime and Brienne survive the battle and Tyrion coarsely helps Jaime find the moment to get closer with her. After an awkward as hell conversation on heat, fire and wood and things growing on them, they sleep together. Meanwhile, Tyrion and Davos wonder what’s become of the Lord of Light. Jaime is later seen having an inner fight. Jaime then asks from Sansa to not take part in the war (!!!) because he prefers to stay in the ugly North with Brienne. As he’s drinking with Tyrion, Bronn somehow barges in demanding a negotiation to not kill them. As Tyrion is the cleverer and most manipulative of the two, Bronn makes clear that Jaime is the best candidate for his next murder. He agrees to let them live if Daenerys wins. Bronn then literally vanishes. Soon after, Jaime is seen roaming around a little aimlessly and Brienne and Sansa inform him Cersei is winning. The same night, after he sleeps with Brienne one last time, we see Jaime stare into the fire and eventually making the decision to leave. When Brienne wakes up, he tells her he shouldn’t be there when everyone else fights. Brienne is the one who jumps immediately to the conclusion that he’ll die trying to save Cersei. Then Jaime strokes her hand and proceeds to recite all the bad things he has done for Cersei (one being a downright lie) and leaves her heartbroken by saying he’s a hateful man. Then we see Jaime suddenly a prisoner of Daenerys. It seems Jaime was walking freely through her camp without doing much to hide his identity. He’s captured and guarded according to the commands of someone we don’t know. Jaime finds numerous excuses to avoid what Tyrion asks him to do and seems to believe Cersei is going to win instead of Daenerys. Tyrion has trouble finding arguments to persuade him and Jaime says some things that don’t make sense based on his character. Tyrion begs him to swear he will do it and Jaime finally complies. They say goodbye. Jaime’s left alone in a way that shows he still doesn’t want to do it. Next thing we see Jaime’s dumbass methods to be allowed in the Red Keep, which of course all fail. He then tries to go through the beach where Euron meets him and forces him into a fight. Jaime does not carry Window’s Wail. He kills Euron and is mortally wounded, leaving Euron happy that he killed Jaime Lannister. Despite that, Jaime ‘kinda’ forgets he’s mortally wounded and walks up and down who knows how many hundreds of steps. He finds Cersei and he’s suddenly full of love and affection all over again. He leads her down to the dragon skulls where there’s no exit anymore. He tells her nothing else ever mattered but them and holds her in place as the Red Keep collapses on their heads. The end.

Make of this what you will. Is it a mix of beautiful and terrible writing? Is it only terrible writing? Is there something we’re missing? Is there going to be a fantastic plot twist that will blow our minds? What would make sense to you at this point, after everything that happens to him in S8?

#jaime lannister #got spoilers #got season 8 #braime #pro jaime #game of thrones

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