#that takes very minimal or zero thought put into it

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

[2cool4ghoul]

I can dream, can't I?

Part 2 <3

AO3 link <3

This is my first time uploading anything like this, this dried up old cowboy got me feeling some kind of way! felt like joining the club! I was hoping for this to be multiple parts (featuring pre war Cooper and the ghoul) if anyone is interested in that, let me know!!!!!

word count: 4,349

Summary: You've spent the last few years after escaping your vault roaming the wastelands, doing whatever it is that you need to do to get by. Before the bombs dropped you were a model/singer, which is were you met western movie star Cooper Howard! You two spent the last few months before the bombs dropped falling in love but the bombs put a pin in that. But one day amongst the endless days spent walking, you come across a crazily familiar cowboy....

warnings: 18+, fingering, oral (fem receiving), swearing, minimal violence, if you want a part 2 there will be p in v, restraints, not yet edited.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Whilst the sun proved itself unbearable on most days, today had been particularly blistering. 

Traveling through the wasteland alone, on little to no water, with zero companionship had started to take its toll on you and you were sure you were becoming delirious. Your canteen had ran dry a couple miles back, the nearest town was unimaginably far, and you could’ve sworn you’d already passed that mound of dried yellowing grass. 

Refusing to admit you were lost, you dug your feet into the sand, one step at a time, panting and wiping the sweat from your brow. It was times like this that made you wish you’d never left your Pip-boy behind in the vault when you made your dramatic exit. What once served as a constant reminder of the vaults would’ve now been your best chance at survival. 

You shudder whenever memories of your vault come to mind. The experiments and test you had endured had left enough scars on your body to make you forget what your skin looked like before everything. 

Before the bombs had dropped you had been plastered on every other billboard, advertising whatever suspicious product had been shoved in your hands that day. You’d once had dreams of becoming a singer, but that had been stripped away from you in the midst of a messy divorce with none other than the head of RobCo himself. He’d sought to ruin what was left of your dreams in anyway that he could, even if that meant freezing you for god knows how many years and letting men play their cruel games with you in the name of science. These memories were often punctuated with plans of revenge and carefully thought out methods of torture that would yield the most excruciating pain. There was lots of time to think and to plan when wandering the wasteland, so you knew you’d be ready when the time came.

A sadistic grin was wiped from your lips when a distant scream snapped you from your planning. You paused for a moment, frowning whilst trying to figure out from what direction the commotion was coming from. Gunshots were fired, igniting excitement in your belly at the thought of a possible fight, something to break the monotony of walking all day and night long. Once you’d figured out the location of whatever was going on, you paced in its direction, a large dune of sand providing you with a height advantage. The grunts and growls of a creature grew louder, frantic shouts of panic coming from a women. 

You could immediately identify the creature by its ungodly noises, however when the scene came into view, you were still impressed with yourself for being correct. A deathclaw had chosen two wanderers as its victims. One appeared to be a vaultie, still in her nearly pristine blue and yellow suit, making you scoff a little. The other, a ghoul dressed in a cowboy get up, his hat having been knocked to the side as he tried his very best to fight of the beast which was barely flinching at the bullets being torn into its skin. The Vaultie had been holding up a tranquilliser gun, which was doing little to deter the deathclaw from sizing up its next meal, managing to swipe her back into the sand with a thud. It then set its eyes on the ghoul, slowly stalking up to them as they hastily reloaded their gun. 

After a few moments of deciding on the next course of action, whether to let the laws of nature take their course or to intervene, you decided on intervening. No matter how hard you’d try to forget it, you too had once been a vaultie trying to survive and would’ve begged on your knees for help. Or maybe you had just become soft. Swiftly, you pulled your shotgun from over your shoulder, lifting it and shutting one eye to aim correctly. You squeezed and pulled the trigger, right as it jumped to pounce on the ghoul. Your first bullet lodged itself into the side of the creatures face, and you shot another bullet right between the eyes, leaving it slumped on the floor beside the ghoul, who was now laying on his back, catching his breathe. It took a moment for the two strangers to locate who had saved them as you stood atop the dune, shotgun still in hand, blinking at them with an unreadable expression. Despite saving their lives, you didn’t trust that they wouldn’t turn on you, so you kept your gun in hand, breathing steadily.

“Thank you, stranger! I surely thought that was the end!” The Vaultie beamed up at you, wide eyes showing their relief, the grin plastered across her face, showing too much innocence. 

“My pleasure, sugar!” You called back down, your southern accent thicker than it used to be, surprising you even when you spoke. “You two best keep your wits about ya, not everyone out here is as willin’ to lend a helpin’ hand to those in need.” 

“We will certainly keep that in mind!” She glanced over at you and then over to the ghoul who was staring at you with wide eyes, his hat in hand, frozen in place. 

“Well,” You began making your way down the dune, walking carefully with the gun still in hand due to the Ghoul’s out of sorts reaction to your help, “You wouldn’t happen t’have any water you could share, in exchange fo’ saving your lives?” You tilted your head, diverting your attention to the Vaultie, flashing her one of your signature starlet grins, fluttering your lashes. 

“Of course!” She swung her back pack off her shoulder, also choosing to ignore the staring from the silent Ghoul, “I’m not too confident about how clean it is, but it is sure to quench your thirst!” She scrambled for her canteen before passing it in your hands eagerly. 

“Thank you, sweet girl.” You tipped your head to her before sipping, coolly, trying not to show how desperately you needed this. Whilst taking your last sip, your eyes got caught in the stare of the Ghoul, feeling him looking you up and down, examining your body and the tattered dress and cowboy boots, taking in every bit of you, eyes still as wide. “What’s tha matter with him?” You pressed as you passed the canteen back, “Looks like he’s seen a ghost.” Teasing, the Vaultie mirrored your confused expression.

“I think I have.” His voice was deep, the southern drawl faintly recognisable. He had finally gotten up to his feet, still standing a safe distance away from you. You took this as an opportunity to stare him down now. His face was marred and textured, his prominent bone structure told you before the effects of radiation took their toll, that he’d been rather handsome. Underneath the many layers of his clothes, a fade blue collar peeked out. You stood in silence, the pressure of his thick glare finally becoming all to much, your hand ghosting over your holster.

“Didn’t your mama teach you it was rude t’stare, old man?” Your tone was now threatening, “are we gonna have a problem?” Licking your lips, you readied yourself, the tension rising as you took a step closer. 

“Now, is that anyway to speak to your sherif?” He lowered his voice, so only you could hear him, also taking a step closer, the gap between you so small you could feel his breath fanning over your face. He stood much taller than you, intimidating in his stance, you had to tip your head back and look at him through your eyelashes, furrowing your brows.

“Cooper?...” You stuttered through your own confusion, your head leaning to the side slightly. At this close proximity you were able to properly look into his unchanged eyes. The glowing whiskey colour, twinkling in the hot sun. Immediately recognisable. “Oh, now you’ve got to be fucking kiddin’ me?” You laughed a sinister laugh, as a smug smirk played out over his lips. 

Catching him by surprise, you shoved him by both shoulders, sending him stumbling and falling back to the ground. You were quick to straddle his waist, pulling a knife from its holster attached to your thigh. “I’m gonna fucking kill you!” You threatened, he grabbed your wrists in protest, “You fucking knew, you told me I was crazy and you fucking knew all along!” 200 years of grief and longing and anger faltered at your lips, unable to form a full sentence as you both struggled on the floor. The Vaultie had chosen not to intervene, a couple ill attempts at deescalating the situation fell upon death ears. 

“Goddammit, darlin!” Cooper managed to hold both your wrist in one hand, pinning them behind your back. He flipped to two of you over, so he was firmly on top of you, the knife dropping from your hand as you fought back tears. You wriggled in his grip, eyes glassy, refusing to meet his own eyes. “You died, you had some awful crash, I went to your funeral.” He hissed at you, “What’re you doin’ here?” You stopped moving, stopping wriggling, the penny finally dropping. You sighed relaxing your body. He took note of this, his body falling next to you tired. You didn’t want to answer his question, sitting upright, deciding to leave the situation. 

“Not to intrude, but can someone tell me whats going on?” His companion waved awkwardly, finally taking a step closer to the two of you. You weren’t one to jump to conclusions but you looked back at Cooper and then at the girl, a sly chuckle leaving your lips.

“God, coop, you really are a dog, aren’t ya?” Raising an eyebrow at him, you shook your head, pushing yourself of the ground. “Well, you’ve certainly found yourself shacked up with a real man, miss…?” You spoke sarcastically, picking your knife from the floor, setting back into its sheath, gesturing for her name.

“Oh, my names Lucy-“ She put out her hand to shake yours before she was interrupted.

“Maclean.” It was spoken through gritted teeth, Cooper standing up, staring you down as you kissed your teeth.

“As in Henry Maclean?”

“Yeah, he’s my dad, I apologise in advance for what he did to you.” Lucy’s voice trailed off and she looked down, scuffing her feet. 

“We’re looking for him, haven’t seen him have ya?” Cooper was now standing by your side.

“No can’t say I have, I best be off,” His pointed glare looked at you unsure, untrusting of your decision to leave, “now you two have fun!” Turning you back to the both of them, you started walking in the opposite direction, ignoring any further protests, your name being called after you.

There was a slight scratch felt on your back, just below your shoulder. Stopping in your tracks, you reach round to pull out a small syringe. A scoff leaving your lips, the world around you deteriorating around you and melting into darkness. Your knees weakened and you fell directly to the ground, everything turning black just before your head made contact with the sand beneath you.

 ———————————————————————————————————————————

When you awoke, the room was dark and open, the warm glow of a fire illuminating one corner, casting a flickering orange shadow on the wall. Your head was throbbing, your body aching, you went to lift your arms to rub your eyes. However, you quickly came to realise you had been tied around the waist with rope, arms restrained behind your back, slumped in a chair which was close to falling apart. You writhed against your restraints, huffing before looking up and realising you were not alone in the room. 

Cooper was sat opposite the fire, the brim of his hat covering his eyes. “Sleeping’ beauty finally woken up?” You didn’t respond, simply staring him down looking at him past furrowed brows. “didn’t want to tranq ya, sweetheart, but you’re not gettin’ away that easy.” He smirked, leaving his position opposite the fire, slowly wandering over to you, the clatter of his spurs echoing in the empty room. “We got some catching up to do, do we not?” He now stood in front of you, the velvety drawl of his voice sounding better than you remember.

“M’not giving in that easy, Coop.” A smirk fluttered over you lips, blinking up at him through your lashes, sitting back in the chair to pretend at being comfortable.

“No? Of course you wouldn’t,” chuckling, he placed a gloved hand on your chin, forcing you to stare him in the eyes, “you wouldn’t be the lady I remembered so fondly if you did.” There was a chair that he dragged from out of you view, placing it in front of you, sitting down with his legs spread opposite you. “Now, you gonna tell me how you’re still here, lookin’ exactly how I left you, or am I gonna have to do this the hard way?” He spoke quietly, his elbows resting on his knees, leaning in closer to you. 

“I’m not telling you shit.” Your chest rose and deflated with every heavy breath you took, his gaze becoming almost as unbearable as the sun earlier that day. He tutted, leaning back, your eyes taking any chance they could to steal a glance between his thighs. He was pretending not to notice but you knew he did. This was the beginning of a sick game. One you definitely wanted to play. 

Licking his lips, he looked you up and down, tied up in your chair, squeezing your thighs together. For a moment there was silence, just the crackling of the fire. “What am I gonna do with you?” He muttered to himself as you sat firm in your silence 

“I can’t help you, Cooper, I don’t have the information you need.” You spoke matter of fact, and it was partly true. You knew nothing of Macleans whereabouts, you didn’t even know he was still kicking about.

“And what do you know about what information I need, huh?” He pondered, pulling a canteen of water from his coat pocket, your body stiffening at the sight of it. He raised it to his lips, slowly, eyes never leaving yours, even as drops littered down his chin, rolling down his neck. God, you could’ve jumped out of your chair and licked up those drops, drinking the water straight from his mouth. Your jaw fell slightly slack at the sight of it, the thoughts of sucking it up making your hips grind slightly in his direction, begging for any friction. This of course did not go unnoticed, for a sadistic chuckle left his chest, deep and inviting. “My oh my, you always were like a bitch in heat,” his tongue ran across his teeth, “you thirsty, lil’lady?” He gestured the canteen your way, “All you gotta do is ask for it.” 

You maintained your burning eye contact, pressing your lips together and nodding. “Gotta use your words,” getting up from his chair, he stalked his way over to you, making you crane your head up, basically panting for him, “go on, girl, ask for it.” He was enjoying this way too much.

“Give me some water.” You almost growled, the canteen so close to your lips, immediately pulled away.

“You need me to teach you some manners, girlie?” He was frowning, standing slightly behind you, just in view, “ask nicely.” 

“Can I have some water?” You were restless and if you squeezed your legs shut anymore your legs would be trembling, throbbing with your underwear damp with arousal. A light slap was planted against your cheek, not enough to hurt, but enough to send a shiver down your spine. “I’m not begging for it, Cooper.” Your tone was firm, but not firm enough to be truthful.

“Is that so?” His hand had moved down to your neck, grabbing firmly and tilting your head back so you could see him standing behind you, canteen in one hand. “Then you’re not gettin’ any.”

He kept a hold of you, like a wild animal, whilst he took another gulp of water, droplets dripping from his mouth pattering on your forehead and cheeks. Your mouth fell open, in the hopes of catching some, but you failed, only earning a throaty laugh from Cooper. “Christ, women, Look at you!” You’re cheeks flushed red with shame, humiliated with the mess you were. “You know what you gotta say-“

“Please Cooper Howard, I am begging you, Please!” You whined, close to tears as he raised where his eyebrows had been, watching you finally give in, pleased with himself. “Please.” You repeated breathing heavily. Your mouth dry, tongue running over your lips.

“Open wide, angel.” He mumbled, grip on your neck loosening ever so slightly. He tipped the contents into your mouth, water had never tasted so good, you let out relieved moans as you were replenished, not caring for the water that was spilling down your chest, falling between your breasts.

Whilst you took a moment to release a sigh of relief, the hand around your neck began traveling down, causing the tension to immediately rise back up. “That wa’nt so hard was it?” The depth of his voice and his accent leaving you quivering. His hand found its way to your breast, cupping and squeezing it, your back arching to his touch. He had been the last man to touch you like this, all those 200 years ago, and you’d dreamt of it ever since. You had never imagined you’d be lucky enough to experience it again. Yet, just as quick as his touch was on you, it left. You furrowed you brows, turning to try and meet his gaze with a pout, yet he was walking back out in front of you. Your bottom lip was tugged between your teeth as he had a sly grin on his lips. If your lips weren’t saying it, your big eyes were pleading with him to give you something else. Painfully slowly, he dropped to his knees in front of you, and your body involuntarily scooted to the edge of the seat, embarrassed by your own eagerness.

Despite him still being the man you’d once known somewhere in there, he’d been changed undoubtedly by his years of wandering. You shouldn’t be attracted to him anymore in the way you were. It was shameful of you to be this eager and will for him. Begging for any slight touch. Begging for a ghoul to give you something for your aching cunt to squeeze around.

“Why don’t you be a good girl and spread those legs of yours, show me what I been dreamin’ ‘bout?” Dripping with lust, he ordered whilst pushing your dress up around your waist. Doing as you were told, you opening your legs, being slightly shy. “No use being shy now, girl, open ‘em wide for this o’cowboy.” His annoyance only spurred you on, spreading them as wide as you could in the chair. “Goddamn,” He hissed, running his bare finger tips over your clothed arousal, the material slick and wet, “Your pretty lil’ pussy, practically dripping for me,” he groaned while pulling the fabric to one side, eyes taking in the sight of you panting, mouth wide, spreading your legs like a good girl, “all over a drop o’water?” He had a smirk on his new wet lips, that you just wanted to slap off. You thought for a moment of clenching your thighs around his head and neck and choking him out, yet you figured he’d enjoy that too much for it to be a form of punishment. 

When his mouth kissed against your inner thighs, you whispered a gasp, thighs finally trembling giving in to showing him how desperate you were for him. He was being cruel, teasing you and testing your limits. He refused to give into what you wanted without hearing you beg for it once more, taking immense pleasure in seeing you quivering and leaning into his slightest touch. His lips ghosted over where you needed him most, your eyes growing glassy, your stomach burning with desire, body aching from the tension you so needed releasing.

“Oh god, Cooper please, I need you so much, I’m achin’, it hurts, I need you.” Your words came out quickly, breathlessly, surprising the two of you, wiggling against the restraints, wishing to just grab his head and shove it into your grinding heat. He glanced up at you for moment, “please, I cant take this anymore.” You shook your head. “I’ll tell you anythin’ you want, please, just… just give me something.” A blanketed layer of sweat had ran over your body, glistening in the dimming glow of the unattended fire.

“You gon’ be a good girl f’me?” He looked at you sternly, his breath fanning over where you needed him most.

“I’ll be so damn good, I promise, I’ll do anything you want me to.” Swallowing down whatever was left of your pride, you scooted even closer to him and he hummed closing his eyes for a moment.

“I could listen to you beggin’ f’me all day.” He finally gave in.

His tongue lapped against you, a moan finally escaping you, He’d taken your thighs and rested them over his shoulders, full delving into you. His tongue dipped into you and you mewled. You so desperately wanted to touch him, pull him closer. The tension boiling within you was dangerously close to spilling over, embarrassingly fast. “God,” his voice vibrated against you, “You taste even sweeter than I remember, my sweet sweet girl.” He was in complete bliss, giving into a self indulgent spree of groans, sucking you in trying to taste as much as possible. Your thighs knock off his hat, yet neither go you seem to notice. He sucked at your clit, finding the sweet spot that he always knew so well, causing you to writhe and curse his name.

“Oh, Cooper, I’m gonna… oh please!” His hands dug into your thighs, leaving red marks that would definitely leave a bruise in their wake. He maintained his actions, until one hand reach round, finger tip tapping your clit whilst his tongue dug into you, readying himself to taste you as you came undone. 

“You gon’ cum for me, darlin?” He cooed.

This was enough to set you over the edge, “Oh my god, fuck!” You rocked forward, like a women possessed, as you clenched and squeezed shaking and shivering for him. Gulping for air, you were seeing stars, “There you go, attagirl.” He groaned, working you through you orgasm as the tension in your body released, your limbs relaxing. You were whimpering, expecting to feel his presence leaving you. However he remained, the pace of his fingers on your clit was fastening. Your back straightened, wishing you could relish in the release for longer before he started again. “I need a moment.” You panted and he looked up at you, pulling his face away, the sheen of his orgasm on his lips.

“No can do, sweetheart,” shaking his head, knelt in front of you, “I’m not finished with you yet.” Your eyes widened, gulping for air, mouth dry again. 

The finger was gone from your clit, pushing its way inside you as you threw your head back welcoming its entrance. “Besides, looks like youre takin’ it just fine to me.” His cocky voice was barely audible over the moans as he rutted his finger into you. He forced another digit in, slowly testing you with the feeling of pulling them all the way out and then all the way in again, knuckle deep in your cunt. You ground your hips against his fingers, eyes rolling back into your head, “God, look at you, fucking yourself on my fingers, you needy lil girl.” He tutted at you, dumbfounded by your willingness.

He curved his fingers, grazing against the spot which made you arch your back, “right there, sweetheart?” There was a gentleness in his voice, looking up at you as you clenched all your muscles against the rope, tied way to well for you to break free.

“Mmhmm, right there, cowboy.” You forced your words out, struggling to cope with the pleasure rushing through your body. Eyes squeezed shut, clenching around his fingers, fighting another orgasm with all your might, trying not to give in so easily this time. “I want you so bad.” You groaned and he went slightly rigid.

“Lets not move too fast now.” His jaw clenching, his own restrained demeanour threatening to break and snap. His quickened his pace with his fingers, trying to distract himself from the aching bulge of his own. “Don’t hold out on me, princess, I can feel how close you are, the way you squeezing round these fingers, come for me one more time.” He growled it, thrusting his hips into nothing, watching the way you were unraveling and moaning his name. He hadn’t expected you to be so eager, the rough exterior very different to the man you’d fallen in love with. 

The ever-growing tension was released once more, heart pounding in your chest, eyes rolling back until they’re were squeezed shut, cursing profanities and taking the lords name in vain, letting out unholy noises, rope beginning to rub the skin writhing beneath it raw. “Oh Cooper Howard, don’t stop.” You continued rolling against him, the use of his full name setting his heart alight. The waves of pleasure didn’t seem to stop, his fingers riding out the high for you, body shaking with tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body was truly truly spent. You had nothing left to give except for a lazy half lidded gaze at coop who was still kneeling opposite you, proud of himself that after all this time he was still able to leave you a dripping mess, trembling for him, moaning his name. Silence filled the room, your body slumped in the chair, staring down at him. You forced a lazy smile.

“What do ya wanna know?"

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic Superstars!

Superstars is out! And guess what? It's good! It's a worthy new entry in the series, and I mostly like it. Mostly. Except for the handful of parts I don't. As usual, allow me to share my thoughts.

(For the record, I got the PS5 version of Superstars. I can't speak for how it plays on older hardware like the Switch, or how the weird Steam version that seems to make you log in with Epic runs. But I encountered zero performance issues, personally.)

General thoughts

The thing is, aside from two notable flaws I'll discuss in greater detail below, I can sum up my feelings on most of Superstars quickly. You see, it's... a Sonic game. This will either be a blessing or a curse depending on who you ask. It's not a bold new take on the series that'll blow you away, but they also didn't fuck it up. There's no catch this time! There's something refreshing about that straightforwardness, given how rare it is to get a regular-ass New Sonic Game from Sega. It's just a new classic-style game where you can play as Amy, set on a new island with all new zones, and Fang is in it! This might be damning with faint praise, but that's what it says on the tin, and they did a good job overall.

(It also has co-op. That's nice. I didn't play it in co-op.)

It plays exactly how it should. At no point did anything feel Wrong. The graphics might not have the absolute highest fidelity, but I think the character models look really nice, and the levels look appropriately good with vibrant color palettes. A couple zones like Sky Temple gave me Klonoa vibes, which I like. One zone is an absolutely incredible homage that I won't spoil. The story here is minimal (as expected), but there are a few good moments of telling the story through the gameplay, particularly one very cute sequence with Trip. I did find a couple stage gimmicks moderately annoying (Speed Jungle 2 and Press Factory 2, looking at you), but like... I could say the same thing about Mania, and also damn near every other Sonic game ever made. There's always That One Level. Superstars may not raise the series to new heights, but it generally executes well on the standard beats of the series. It's an easy recommendation for all fans of 2D Sonic.

Really, aside from the two big flaws (we'll get to them), this game's greatest crimes are simply not being quite as good as Mania, and also coming out the same week as the more creative and polished Super Mario Bros. Wonder. If we hadn't gotten Mania, I would easily be calling this my favorite 2D Sonic game since... what, the Advance trilogy 20 years ago? I like the Rush games, but if you asked me to replay one or the other, I might have a better time with Superstars. And, yes, it beats the hell out of Sonic 4. It's not even close. Anyone who says this game is exactly like Sonic 4 is just being a hater.

...I guess I would say that $60 is a bit steep for this, but you know it'll be on sale for a more appropriate $30-$40 in a few months. This isn't a Nintendo game we're talking about here.

Nice little tweaks

Superstars also features a number of welcome quality-of-life updates over Mania, bringing it more in line with the design ethos of modern platformers.

You have infinite lives! No more getting a game over on the final boss and having to redo the whole final zone - or, god forbid, the entire game

Time overs are gone! It'll warn you before you go over ten minutes, but I have no idea why because it doesn't kill you anymore

The game features a hub from which you can easily replay previous levels, rather than needing to beat the game or put in a cheat code to unlock the level select

This means you can easily go back and hunt for any special stage rings you missed. However, as a tradeoff, it seems like you can only get one Emerald per zone now, rather than being able to get Super Sonic by the end of the first or second zone

You can swap characters between levels! No more having to start a whole 'nother save file to play as Tails

And those characters even have optional little movement tutorial rooms available from the hub, which is great for new players who may not know about things like the Drop Dash

And, finally, checkpoints now feature arrows pointing in the direction you were supposed to be going, in case you forget upon respawning

Of course, while you might not be getting game overs, Superstars certainly compensated with some bosses that kicked my ass.

Bosses

Here's what I would consider notable flaw #1.

I have mixed feelings on the bosses in Superstars. I don't think many of them are poorly designed - in fact, a lot of them are good, and offer fun moments of spectacle. But for a 2D Sonic game, they're REALLY long and drawn out, and by the late game this was starting to get draining.

Bosses tend to be the type where you have to dodge their attack patterns for a while until you get the chance to hit them exactly once, MAYBE twice. A few bosses seem to have quicker options if you abuse your post-hit invulnerability or play as a character with a double jump, but many will either be completely invincible or run away to the background for long periods of time, making it impossible to damage them outside of the allotted windows. And even if it seems like you'll be able to get in a second hit, many bosses turn invincible and skip ahead to the next attack pattern as soon as they take the first hit. Again, most of these fights aren't BAD, but because of this behavior they sometimes take almost as long to beat as the entire levels preceding them. This didn't bother me much early in the game, but against the more challenging bosses towards the end that kept killing me several minutes into a long fight, it got tiring. The final boss of Story Mode probably took me like an hour.

While this certainly isn't an uncommon style of boss design, part of me suspects they did this for the sake of co-op players. For one, playing in co-op means that you don't necessarily have to start the entire fight over if one person dies, so I assume the length is less of an issue. But in particular, true classic-style Sonic bosses that you can just hit repeatedly with good timing would go down in a few seconds against a team of four players. Likewise, the swarm of clones from the "Avatar" Emerald power would probably obliterate every Genesis era boss with one button press. So I get why every boss needs all these invulnerability periods, but still. I at least wish they'd made some of those attack patterns shorter and given you more frequent opportunities to deal damage.

Emeralds and their powers

Speaking of the new Chaos Emerald powers: they're neat, I guess? They're fine. I didn't use them much. Actually, I kept forgetting I even had them - although the game will play a noise and show an icon in the corner of the screen to remind you any time you reach a spot where a specific power is useful. Avatar, the first power you get, is at least good for getting a couple free hits in on the trickier bosses. Yellow's ability to slow time is obviously good, but, again, I always forgot I even had it and made it through just fine without it. I was also pleased to realize that the swimming power is useful for the water levels and not just for climbing up waterfalls.

Oh, and the new grappling-based special stages kind of suck, but they're not the worst, and I'll at least give them credit for trying something new. (Motion Sickness Zone from Sonic 1 does return as a bonus minigame, but I only did it once lmao.)

Battle Mode

I haven't played Battle Mode. Couldn't tell you if it's good or not. It did, however, give us official designs for Metal Tails and Metal Amy after all these years, and also it let me make this:

...Okay, enough beating around the bush. Let's talk about the thing that REALLY drags down the experience.

The soundtrack...

(This lengthy section on the music will feature some light spoilers for things like zone names and themes.)

Now, don't get me wrong. There are some bangers in here that I've been listening to on loop. But this is one of the most inconsistent soundtracks I've ever heard, and I'm not sure I've ever played another game where the music has such a sharp dip in quality in the back half.

As anyone following this blog knows, prior to release I was a little obsessed with trying to gauge what the soundtrack would be like. "Jun Senoue" and "new Classic Sonic game" naturally evokes the memory of Sonic 4, but from the start we knew Tee Lopes was involved as well, and almost all of the music previewed before released leans more towards the sound of Sonic Mania than anything else. I was hopeful! I was excited! Jun deserved another chance at doing another classic Sonic OST, and Tee is one of my favorite game composers of all time between his Sonic material and other works like the TMNT: Shredder's Revenge OST. I frequently thought back to this Sonic 4 remix medley by Jun and Tee as a reminder that these two could really be the dream team, bringing out the best in each other's work.

Sure enough, the front half of the game is largely dominated by the Mania sound, whether it's a track by Tee himself or one by an in-house Sega artist that's compatible with his style. Pinball Carnival Act 1 by Rintaro Soma (an up-and-coming composer who wrote a bunch of the Cyber Space themes in Frontiers) takes obvious inspiration from Mania's Studiopolis Act 1, to the point that I was shocked when Sega posted the track and revealed it wasn't written by Tee. Act 2, however, forges more of its own sound by leaning into the act's spooky haunted carnival theme. And despite being the music lead, the only level theme that I know for sure was written by Senoue in the front half of the game (Bridge Island Act 1) was actually arranged by Tee Lopes to give it more of that Mania sound. Hell, the level clear jingle is literally just the one from Mania. A few level themes by other composers don't quite match that style, but they fit in well enough.

But there are early signs that this sound won't be consistent throughout the game. Our first warning of things to come is the boss music:

When early copies started floating around and the soundtrack leaked, many, many people hoped that this was merely a placeholder, like the literal Sonic 4 Episode II music used in the earliest previews of Speed Jungle, and that it'd get replaced with a day one patch. Oh, those poor, innocent fools...

Even if you don't mind the poor production with the returning Sonic 4 faux-Genesis sound, this is a very simplistic thirteen second snippet of music that then plays a second time in a higher key before it loops. This wouldn't be the end of the world if the bosses were as short as the ones in the Genesis games, of course, but they're not! This theme is used for a ton of lengthy fights throughout the game, including an EXTREMELY long and tedious autoscroller boss at the end of Golden Capital Act 2. Maybe I would've enjoyed the bosses in this game more if they were paired with some earworms that'd get me hyped up and sell how cool and exciting the fights are supposed to be, but grating songs like this just made the minutes spent fighting those bosses feel like an eternity.

Still, boss music (and menu music) aside, all of the level themes in the front half of the game ranged from decent to great, with the peak easily being the phenomenal Lagoon City Act 2 by Tee Lopes. And then... I got to the back half of the game. And the Mania style completely disappeared, replaced largely with the dreaded Sonic 4 sound. That isn't the style for EVERY song in the back half, but even the ones that try something different tend to be weaker than the material from the first six zones, with less engaging melodies and less intricate arrangement. Many sound straight up unfinished, leaning on extremely basic synth patches with no personality. And there isn't a single track from Tee in the back half. He just disappears from the project altogether.

What this means is that we go from this absolute banger by Tee Lopes in zone 6, which elevates what's otherwise a bog standard desert level to a thrilling adventure:

To... this, in zone 7:

It's EXTREMELY jarring!

The thing is, this is actually one of the better tracks in this style. I have to assume this is by Senoue, because you can totally hear a good Adventure or Heroes era Senoue track in there once you get past the crude synth replication of the Genesis era Sonic sound. Senoue is still a great composer, as you can hear clear as day with Bridge Island, but he's working with a restrictive sound palette that doesn't play to his strengths at all. If only he'd bust out that damn guitar, or at least pick some better synths.

(And no matter what people will tell you, no, this is not an accurate recreation of what the Genesis's YM2612 chip really sounded like, nor is it representative of what it CAN sound like at its best. Go back to the Streets of Rage 2 or Ristar soundtracks if you need a reminder.)

While I can at least see what the Press Factory tracks were aiming for, some other faux-FM synth tracks are just really bland. They don't have anything interesting going on, and they also don't seem particularly tailor made for the levels they accompany. They're just attempts to mimic what Sonic 1-3 sounded like on a very literal level. Take, for instance, the Golden Capital Act 1 theme, AKA "we've got Sky Sanctuary at home." While the better level themes in this game enhance the mood or even completely carry the vibes of a level, the weaker tracks can really suck all the air out of the room and make a level feel like more of a slog.

What kills me is that there are, in fact, a couple examples of how to do throwbacks to classic Sega FM synth music well on this very soundtrack! They're just not the Sonic 4 type tracks. I love the Frozen Base Act 2 theme, presumably composed by legendary Sega composer Hiroshi "HIRO" Kawaguchi, who's responsible for all-time classic arcade soundtracks like Fantasy Zone, Out Run, Hang-On, After Burner, and more, as well as the hacking and pinball themes from Frontiers. Maybe to an untrained ear this doesn't sound all that different, but it has a catchier tune, better instruments, and stronger production overall. I'm also a fan of the track for Sky Temple, which isn't perfect, but it blends a few Genesis-esque instruments like the Sonic 1+2 snare with other instruments for a richer sound. If the whole soundtrack sounded more like these examples, I'd definitely be complaining less.

I really just have to wonder... how did this happen? How did this end up being so inconsistent? Many fans on social media are jumping to the conclusion that Senoue is just extremely stubborn and refuses to ditch the style from Sonic 4. I can't deny this possibility, but some things just don't add up. The almost complete lack of "retro" style music in the promotional material. The fact that the style just suddenly shifts halfway through the game, then disappears for the final zone, as if that's not the note they want to end on. The complete lack of any tracks by Tee Lopes in the back half. The focus on the Mania-style tracks in the bonus "mini soundtrack." And most perplexing of all, the fact that three of the first tracks you hear in the game were Senoue compositions that were given extra attention with arrangements from Tee Lopes.

This is pure speculation on my part, but it almost seems like they straight up ran out of time.

Perhaps Jun wanted more of his tracks to get full arrangements from Tee, or for Tee to contribute more songs, but things were down to the wire and they chose to leave in some of the raw Sonic 4 style demos. The soundtrack being crunched out in a matter of months at the end of development would certainly explain why Speed Jungle had to be demoed without its music a mere four months ago. It'd also explain why a game that's only a few hours long needs NINETEEN composers listed in the credits. And also the fact that multiple zones just have completely different, unrelated music by different artists across their acts. Did they need multiple artists working on different acts simultaneously, completely independent from each other with no time to cross reference each others' work, due to extreme time constraints? I'd buy it.

Ah well. It's not the end of the world. I've heard worse Sonic music. But I'll always think of what could have been...

At least the final battle with Eggman at the end of Story Mode has a pretty kickass boss theme, which ALMOST makes up for how bad most of the preceding boss music is (and the fact that that very difficult fight doesn't have a checkpoint between phases and took me like an hour to beat lmao). It even seems like it might be written by longtime Phantasy Star Online composer and recurring Sonic contributor Hideaki Kobayashi. That's the guy who wrote NONAGRESSION!!!!!!!

The postgame

Speaking of beating Eggman! It turns out Superstars has a good deal of postgame content, as merely beating the last zone with all the Chaos Emeralds doesn't take you to the true final boss. In order to do that, you'll need to do something else.

Before we hit the big spoiler warning, I'm going to give any future players who are still reading a warning. If you value your sanity... don't force yourself to do all the postgame stuff. Don't make the mistakes I did. It's not worth it, and it may very well knock your personal score for the game down a couple points.

----------------------------------------------------------------

SPOILERS FOR THE STORY, UNLOCKABLES, AND THE POSTGAME BELOW THIS POINT

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

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The bonus scenario

Sonic Superstars has a big surprise in store for anyone who beats the main story. For the first time since... what, Silver? In 2006? We finally have a brand new playable character in a new Sonic platformer! (I wouldn't count the player avatar in Forces as a full-fledged New Character.) Yes, after the credits roll, you unlock Trip as the super-secret fifth playable character. I was really excited to see this. Trip is cute, even if her masked appearance from early in the game is perhaps a more unique design than a Sonic-ified lizard girl who can only vaguely look like a real sungazer lizard. She IS the first new Sonic character Ohshima has designed since the '90s, though, so she gets points for that - and she gets even more points for literally turning into a dragon when she goes Super. We love a girl who can turn into a dragon, don't we folks? And her playstyle is fun, too, with a double jump and the ability to roll along walls and ceilings.

But Trip isn't just playable. Like Knuckles before her, she gets an entire alternate story mode of her own, which somewhat remixes the level layouts, generally makes things more challenging, and swaps out Eggman for Egg Robo. I was so excited to see this! It really felt like the game had so much more in store for me than I'd anticipated.

...Then I spent probably around three hours attempting to beat the new final battle with Fang at the end of Trip's Story. And it made me regret doing Trip's Story at all.

Once you learn the patterns, a lot of them are actually piss easy. But the difficulty comes down to a few misguided factors:

The fight is LOOOONG. On a successful attempt the whole thing will probably take the average player about, like... seven or eight minutes? Maybe longer? This is where I really started to get pissed at the game for making me wait through these stupid attack patterns before I could attempt to hit the boss once.

The fight is divided between two phases, one with Fang in a vehicle and another with him in a giant robot, with no checkpoint between them. Dying to one of Fang's bullshit attacks on the second phase means having to redo the ~5 minute first phase all over again. And, worst of all...

Fang has multiple projectile attacks that are guaranteed instant kills, even if you have rings.

Also there's a stupid desperation headbutt attack that can really easily catch you off guard and kill you, but I only got that far in the fight once.

It's the instant kills that got me. If those fucking immobilizing net attacks just made you drop your rings, or you could at least wiggle out of them by mashing buttons (EDIT: apparently you CAN do this but you literally have to button mash so rapidly that it's a crapshoot whether or not you'll physically be able to do it), it would have been totally doable! Kinda fun, even! Slow, but pretty cool in terms of spectacle. But nope! Three hours! Three hours on this! This is, without a doubt, the hardest boss I have ever faced in any Sonic game, period, and one of the hardest bosses I've ever seen in ANY game. All because of one attack pattern where making a tiny mistake means starting over.

The glitches didn't help, either. Something about the way the circular boss arena was set up in both stories' final battles seems to make the floor intangible sometimes for non-player objects. Occasionally my dropped rings, enemies I was supposed to knock towards Fang, or one of Fang's insta-kill projectiles would just fall through the floor randomly. This definitely wasn't my main problem, but it helped drive home the idea that this fight just wasn't worth my time.

After three hours of attempts, I gave up. I just went and looked up the ending of Trip's story, as well as the contents of the Final Story, on YouTube. Turns out I made the right call, because boy, that true final boss looks like dogshit. It's just a very dull fight against a big generic cartoon dragon. Apparently this is the thing Eggman was looking for. It appears and is defeated with little fanfare. I think I liked it better when I assumed the scary dragon being foreshadowed was just Super Trip.

...Also, hey, what's up with The End being very conspicuously visible in the background of the last zone?? I know it's just a cheeky cameo, but, like... isn't it supposed to be sealed away in Cyber Space right now? Should I be taking this literally? Does this have lore implications? This is one hell of a way to remind people that the timeline's been reunified, I guess

Closing thoughts

I really hate to part ways with Superstars on a sour note like this, because like I said up top, I mostly enjoyed my time with it! It's really just a small handful of particularly frustrating bosses and the inconsistent soundtrack that drag it down. Other than that, it's solid as a rock. Maybe wait for sales if you're not dying to play it, but it's definitely worth playing for any Sonic fan. Just... skip the true ending. I would have stepped away MUCH happier with this game if I'd done that.

I wanna try to end this on a more positive note but I'm tired, so, uhhhh... look, you can unlock a Metal Nights skin for your Battle Mode bot!!

Anyway back to jamming to about half the soundtrack on loop while pretending the other half doesn't exist, and looking forward to the continued Fang Renaissance with his upcoming IDW miniseries

[devildomwriter]

You Make Them Christmas Sweaters (But They’re Really Itchy) Headcanons

Lucifer

• You made it for him so he will absolutely wear it no matter how itchy

• When you aren’t looking he casts a spell on himself to relieve itching

• After spending the day with you and the sweater he takes it off and tries finding the source of its itchiness

Mammon

• Thanks you profusely and then puts it on and wonders how the actual hell a sweater can be so itchy

• He smiles when you’re looking and while he does love it he’s in agony and scratches himself profusely

• Afterwards he brings it to Lucifer and asks if there’s a curse on it and to pleas help him because he loves it but damn is he itchy

Leviathan

• He’s so moved you thought of him enough to actually make him something

• All is well until he tries it on and he has such a hard time controlling his facial expressions that he wears a mask “because it’s cold”

• He is constantly itching and if you notice he starts scratching his legs and head too so you don’t catch on to the sweater being extremely itchy

Satan

• He’s moved and puts it on right in front of you, before his head is through the collar he already knows what’s happening

• He becomes extremely itchy and immediately casts a soothing spell on himself to avoid intense itching

• Rather than risk potential damage to the sweater he never alters it and simply casts a soothing spell every time he wears it instead (and he wears it a lot)

Asmodeus

• Squeals in excitement that you made him something

• Immediately notices the intense itching which is not good for his skin so he excuses himself to redo his hair to match the sweater but it actuality calls Lucifer for help

• Lucifer casts a spell on him so he can tolerate the itching and enjoy the rest of the day with you because this man would’ve cried otherwise and he couldn’t bare to do that in front of you

Beelzebub

• He loves it! But then he kind of gets this blank stare as he registers the intense itching

• He uses the walls like scratching posts and excuses itching on crumbs down his shirt because he realizes it’s probably the sweater and he’d hate to make you feel bad

• Goes to Lucifer for help who takes pity and offers to help figure out why it’s so itchy

Belphegor

• He’s super excited to get to wear something you made him

• On the bright side the itching keeps him wide and awake and moving around as he attempts to discreetly relieve his itching

• Lucifer watches this happening and waits until Belphegor asks him for help because he doesn’t want to offend you

Solomon

• Is touched that you thought of him and took time to knit him a sweater

• He’s extremely confused how you made a sweater so itchy and almost believes it to be a prank until he sees your genuine smile seeing him in it

• Just casts a spell to stop the itching but later studies the sweater to see if he can recreate the itching in a spell as a new form of torture

Thirteen

• She’s thankful and acts nonchalant about it even though she’s actually very excited about it

• Conceals a smalls scream when she immediately becomes super itchy. She was going to demand you release the spell when she realizes you had zero intentions of this affect and it’s not even a spell

• She doesn’t know how you did it but after ignoring the itching all day she plans to recreate it and use it in her pranks

Simeon

• He’s very happy to see you spent your precious time thinking about him and pouring your love into the sweater

• After trying it on he can’t stop wondering how a sweater can cause such intense itching

• He’s had thousands of years of tolerating everyone around him so the itching isn’t too much of a bother but he plans to ask Raphael to fix whatever is causing the itching later on

Raphael

• He loves and appreciates it, especially as someone always sewing, patching, and knitting things

• As someone with extensive knowledge in knitting he spends the entire day wondering how you made it so itchy

• You never even notice he’s itchy because he has high tolerance levels and minimal facial expressions. He’s glad how handy his training can be for unusual situations such as not offending you by itching in a sweater you made him.

Luke

• He’s really excited and when he tries it on his eyes go wide

• He’s really really really itchy and doing his best not to show it but it becomes painful

• He makes a face at Solomon who helps him and casts an anti-itching spell to save the poor child from accidentally offending you (offending you would make him cry)

Mephistopheles

• It’s a gift from you so of course he’s happy and boasting about it

• Because he already boasted about it he’s too prideful to admit there may be a slight problem and that’s that he cannot stop itching

• He uses magic to deal with it but still cannot fathom what you did to lead to such results. He knows it’s not a high quality thread count or name brand sweater but he’s still so confused.

Barbatos

• He’s elated but he can tell before even putting it on that somethings not right

• Already casts an anti-itch spell on himself and is glad he did so

• Asks you to teach him how to knit a sweater so you can match (he’s trying to figure how something can be so itchy without magic)

Diavolo

• He’s extremely excited to get something handmade from you

• He immediately starts itching which makes him laugh because he has no idea how to react

• He decides to use the itching to test his patience and tolerance but after the day together ends he asks Barbatos to investigate the source of the itchiness and he takes a long soothing bath

[eldritch-spouse]

[Part 5 of Gifted. Fem reader.]

Previous poll winner: Grimbly (56.7%)

TW: Creepy one-sided mommy kink, later becomes mutual.

New choice! [VOTE]

When your leg lightly pokes the smaller monster, his previously cute expression morphs into a smarmy, gross smirk.

" Hah. Looks like you might wanna reconsider. " His hands are on his waist as he regards the wraith.

" Fool. They're not in the right mind to be making decisions. " The other counters.

" Mm. Cope harder. "

No matter how hard you try to keep your eyelids open, they flutter repeatedly, eventually shutting for good. Your consciousness fades on Morell's chopping table.

...

There's a chirp. Then another. You hear something rushing nearby. A liquid. The noise, paired with a slight chilly sensation, becomes uncomfortable, forcing you to gradually wake up.

Eyes eventually parting, the shapes of the revolving world finally begin to make sense, and you find yourself in a garden. Not just any garden, the same one where all this madness started. Alertness seeping back into your form, wary hues scatter until they find a fountain.. If you can call it that. Yes, it's not exactly standard. The thing takes on a strange, bent shape which seems to loop in itself like an optical illusion designed to confound the mind. Water rushes down its sides, then up, then diagonally- Like it's crawling around it, alive. You'd imagine this is what a being who has never seen a fountain in their life would make, putting aside the way this thing very clearly defies physics.

You've been around here for a while however, and as such, you know better than to question the logistics of this location. The how and why of this reality is irrelevant. Nevertheless, the sound of water cascading and dripping aimlessly is the least bit soothing to your overworked, stressed brain, so, with a quiet sigh, you glance at the flowers who have been chirping all this time- Swaying and twirling at each other as if to communicate. To think those things have teeth. That they bit you. Cursed garden indeed...

" It's beautiful in its own way, right? "

Your heart, that poor, miserable organ which has been tested thoroughly throughout this entire day, threatens to leap out your ribcage for what feels like the hundredth time.

" Geez silly, it's just me. "

Bulging eyeballs zero in on the monster sitting next to you. Grimbly... Ah yes! The one you picked, good. He's far too close, thigh brushing yours actually. How had you not noticed him before? Shortly after this initial observation, you realize you're on a bench, and a quick self-check reveals that you're wearing an entirely different get-up. In fact, you're clad in what looks to be a pastel pink Summer dress with subtle floral patterns. Huh. Well, you suppose it's better than torn, bloodied scraps?

The bat monster notes your disoriented staring and pipes up. " Ah, I hope you don't mind. It's just, you looked so bad in that trash, I found something much better for you. " Bright magenta hues almost seem to sparkle at you. " You love it, don't you? "

Yeah, sure. You love being minimally covered. Now that you think about it, he must have undressed and garbed you himself while you were out cold. Slimy fucker. Regardless, a free dress is a free dress, so you nod cautiously.

" Yay. I'm really glad, mommy! "

Fucking what now?

You give the monster a subtle side-glance. This is a grown adult. He may be small in stature but this is definitely an adult. There is no way in Heaven or Hell he's actually mistaking you for his mother, this is very clearly a "thing". A thing he's involved you in without asking. God damn it, and here you thought this one could be slightly more normal. Serves you right.

" Uhum. " Because what else are you supposed to say? That he's a creepy loser? So are the others. You can only hope that he's a less powerful creepy loser. Hell, if all he wants to do is pretend you're his "mommy" and have you pet his head, then you'll consider yourself very lucky.

Wary eyes glance around again. It's noon-ish? Indeed, between being inside, with all that ruckus and calamity, you much prefer this twisted garden. You can still hear people in the vicinity, but nowhere near the amount indoors. All the chattering, cackling and yelling was getting in your brain far before you were even handed to Morell like a tasty morsel. This... This is much better, it has saved you from a pounding headache, and your body is only somewhat sore. You must not have slept on this bench.

Hold on.

You're in the garden. And what a large garden it is- But that's hardly the point! What matters is that, if you can get this one off your hairs, you could maybe try to find a way out of here. After all, if you're fast enough, clever and quiet like a mouse, would it truly be impossible to just leave? There has to be an exit. Somewhere. For all intents and purposes, this is the closest you've been to freedom ever since being dumped here by the Icon of carnality. Yes... Good.

A small weight on top of your right hand jolts you. You didn't even realize you had them fisted around the hems of your dress until he gently grasped one. Forcing a deep breath out of your lungs, you meet his big, rounded eyes.

" I know your day has been tough so far. How are you feeling now? "

That calm breath was fruitless, for those words alone instill insurmountable tension within you. How dare he? How are you feeling?! Fucking hopeless, how about that! Tarnished. Frightened. Panicked. You want out. You just want out. You want to go home, you want to see your family and you want to pretend that none of this happened. That you weren't picked to be some appetizer, some distraction brought on by a demonlord.

Tears slide down your cheeks faster than you realize you're crying.

" Oh. Oh no, please don't cry mommy, I didn't mean to- I promise! "

Grimbly scoots even closer, smaller, four-fingered hands reaching for your cheeks and softly wiping away the waterworks. Although you freeze, expecting some sort of catch behind the act, he only spares you a soft smile. Before sitting sideways on your lap that is. Ugh.

" It's okay, you don't need to cry anymore. You have me now, after all. " The bat half-jokes, earning only a sniffle in return as you try to gather your bearings.

Shaky hands hover, having nowhere to poise, until the waiter rolls his bright eyes and grabs them, manually wrapping them around himself in a clumsy embrace. He's smooth, surprisingly soft. " We can talk about anything you want, okay? "

What is there to talk about, your cynical side snarks. Yet, if he's responsive to conversation, for whatever reason, then maybe you can make the most out of it.

" How many floors are there in this building? "

" It depends. " Grimbly shrugs. " Today there's extra ones, because we're kinda flooded with clients. I just hope they don't rush to the aquarium, serving there is no fun, everything's wet and slippery and I don't know how to swim. "

" Do you know how to swim, mommy? "

Your eyelid twitches. " ... Yes. "

The monster gasps. " Oh! Can you teach me someday? "

You don't even know if you'll make it past today. " Uh, sure. "

God, this is awkward.

The waiter purrs loudly, exactly like an overgrown kitten, as he dips his face into your chest, struggling with his own horns. " Thank you! " He's nuzzling, you can feel the pointed tips of those fangs dragging on your skin as he tries to shove his face on your tits. You've no doubt he picked a dress with significant cleavage for this very reason. You don't think too much of your chest, but he seems fixated on it nonetheless.

Silent, passive seconds pass. You're not too sure what you signed up for before passing out, though, thinking back on it, maybe you made the right choice? The mysterious figure in the hood was so ominous, at least this one seems way less intense. Clingy definitely, but way less intimidating.

" You're so nice... " The monster attempting to become one with your tits purrs in a saccharine tone.

" Am I? " A sort of corrosive dryness seeps from you. Your patience for games is dwindling.

" Yeah. You're not like the other ones. " Grimbly hugs you tight, sighing in a way that sounds much too infatuated while he adjusts his position on your lap, tail swatting behind his lithe figure. " You're not screaming, trying to run, or calling me names- I knew I was right when I said you were special. "

Maybe you're just too tired to do those things. Or, better yet, you know it would worsen your chances of survival. The urge to yell and flail is right around the corner, but so it the other voice asking you if you'd like to live to see another day.

" You're perfect. " He swoons, shifting his legs on your lap. " You love me already, don't you? "

Your chin is grasped, forcing you to face the hysterical-looking monster on top of you. Ah. So you were wrong. He's not any safer than the other ones, in fact, he's apparently a lot less stable. Something in the blade-thin pupils of those sweet round eyes tells you it's a horrible idea to antagonize him.

" O- Of course. " You stammer, trying to smile in a comforting way but very aware that your discomfort is shining through crystal clear. Grimbly tilts his head expectantly, and your eyelid twitches a little. " ... Sweetie. " For good measure, you give him a couple of pats on the head.

It seems you've gouged what he wanted correctly, because the waiter relaxes, leaning into the touch. " I knew it. " He lilts. It almost feels threatening.

You try to focus on the relatively calm surroundings, hearing some flapping and thumping in the distance. Not for long however, because a claw hooks onto the front of your dress and slips your tits out. You can only tense, observing the small bat hybrid excite himself with the sight of them. It certainly doesn't help that the slight breeze has your nipples rock hard like pointers. Small hands practically dart to hold your now exposed breasts, the touch greedy and self-serving more than anything. He's clearly not intending to massage you, more so rolling them for his own lurid entertainment.

A not half bad suggestion crosses your mind. What if... What if you used his own kink against him for a second? Would that work? Worth a try.

" Grimbly! " You call sternly, making the hypnotized monster blush and jump slightly. " What do you think you're doing?! Is this any way to behave? " A small part of you writhes, cringing.

" Buh- "

" But nothing. " You insist.

The smaller monster's face goes from velvet to crimson, although whether that's good or bad is up in the air. He covers his groin, expression deflating. For a moment, you almost believe he's going to come to his senses and let it die, your expectations are shifted upside down when he gives you a teary-eyed look.

" But I was so good! " His fists ball. " I didn't touch you while I was dressing you up even if I wanted to so bad! " A shiver crawls up your spine. " I'm being good for you! Aren't I? "

No. But the way the pitch in his voice rises makes you second-guess the effectiveness of pursuing this. " Mommy, why are you being so mean to me?! "

God, he's creepy.

Fine then, he wants you to play nice? Might as well get this over with.

Rolling your eyes, you shove his face between your tits, snickering at the surprised yelp he lets out, which very quickly morphs into a content murr. Those threatening pinprick points you can only guess function as fangs drag across the sensitive tissue of your breasts, and you vaguely wonder if he's going to bite at any point. Puncture into your chest. The mental image makes you shudder. His arms dart to squeeze the soft skin around himself more, and you take advantage of it by sliding a hand right down his body, to the sopping wet slit he tried to hide before.

Grimbly whimpers.

You don't know what to make of this guy.

He's definitely desperate, and even if he's got admittedly adorable looks, his attitude is invasive and abrasive. You can see through his little disguise, or maybe he's just become sloppy in his excitement, but this little fucker is toxic enough to smell. You'll have to be careful with him. For now though, you can afford being a little rougher. You deserve it even, after all that's happened to you. It's a miracle your poor body isn't sore. It should be.

With little to no hesitation, you slip two fingers into that eager hole, getting rewarded with moans that the monster tries to muffle against your skin, now merely holding onto you. The way you pump them is merciless, fingerfucking that pouch and ignoring the swollen cock begging to be freed. The bat's legs twitch, parting, his claws digging into your sides.

" Ghh- " He tries to form a sad excuse of a word, but you don't relent, getting some kicks out of torturing him this way. The sound of his slit greedily swallowing your fingers is lewd and loud.

" Mm, what was that? " You cruelly egg.

" Ngh- Mommy- "

" Yeah? " Grimbly makes another senseless noise and tries to buck into your motions. Your placid hand rises to grab him by the hip, and although you didn't expect it, you're able to keep him perfectly still. Or maybe he's letting you? You sense you have more strength over him.

" Words. " You demand.

" P- Please- Please let it out! It hurts- I need it! "

Your digits all but rip out of his hole, leaving it flexing solemnly before a short chubby cock pokes out. A smooth and slick member bobs in the air, featuring a tapered tip. He's the smallest you've seen today, but that's actually quite comforting. Just enough to make you feel good, and not have to worry about how your body is even accommodating it. Again, you're sure Vesper tampered with you in unwanted ways.

Not giving the needy waiter a moment of respite, you fist your hand around his pretty dick, pumping him fast and hard, occasionally stopping to toy with the odd tip and figuring out what feels best there. The monster atop you twitches and gasp, legs jerking while his body juggles excess sensation. But by God, if the look on his face isn't one of pure ecstasy, open-mouthed and eyes rolled, blinking with each new flare of heat.

It feels good to finally exert some sort of power over someone here. You're not foolish enough to believe you're safe, much less that you can intimidate this odd monster, but you can trick your desperate sense of control, pet it like one would a frightened animal, whisper that everything is fine- Because here you are, making the waiter choke on his own pleasured noises.

Some mean, wounded part of you wants to make Grimbly come from a harsh, merciless handjob. You want him to quiver and soak himself hopelessly, experience just a taste of the powerlessness you've been restricted to since the beginning of this cursed game, this obscene adventure born out of the depths of the Icon of Lust's debased psyche. You want to make sure he reaches that precious peak of pleasure, and then rip all touch away, see him buck like a stupid animal after your hand, cry and strangle out noises of despairing frustration as his orgasm is ruined.

For a brief instant, you stun yourself with the peculiar nature of your desires. You never once experienced a need to be so domineering and cruel... This place is sinking its filthy claws in your brain and it hasn't even been a full day yet. It's a horrifying possibility. Besides, you don't think it'd be a particularly bright idea to feed those urges.

" O-Ohn- N- Not yet! "

The waiter's ambiguous whining forces you to attention. He's thrashing a bit more, no longer the simple squirming of an overstimulated body but genuine attempts to halt things. You stop the moment he taps at your hand insistently.

Grimbly sighs, offering you a glazed smile. " I don't want to come yet, mommy. Not without you... "

Although the look he puts on is cute, you're too riled up to give him any leash, sliding him off your legs and placing him down with jarring ease. He weighs so little, it's bizarre, he definitely doesn't feel that light, and your upper body strength isn't anything to gawk at either. Huh. While he observes you vapidly, the dress is hiked up as you shift to straddle the small monster instead.

He's positively dwarfed by you, which is equal parts satisfying and arousing. The crimson burn on his cheeks agrees completely.

Although you hover tantalizingly over Grimbly's twitching cock, you don't touch or line the monster up with you, enjoying the frustrated brow crease wrinkling his otherwise smooth features. When the bat cares to look up from between plush legs, he finds you boring holes into him.

" A- Ah! " He flusters, breaking eye contact.

" What do you want? "

" Mmm... I want- " Magenta orbs flicker between the sight of your bare pussy to your eyes, begging wordlessly.

" You want? " Grabbing his member, you don't offer the bat any stimulation, even as his legs tremble and he bites his lips at the feeling of your pussy lips juuust grazing his tip.

" Please mommy! " He whines loud and high.

You actually can't contain the laugh that rips out your throat. " Please what? "

Grimbly cracks, voice acquiring a growled edge that wasn't there before. " I want your pussy! I want mommy's sweet pussy I Hhng- "

Gross. You sink onto him like an anchor.

A risky move, but fortunately, he's small enough that it went smoothly. While you blink and gasp in strong shocks of pleasure, Grimbly cries out like a needy whore, and you bet at least some people inside that blasted building heard it. Let them hear, fuck it.

He's still panting by the time dark hands hold onto your hips, throbbing inside you. Pent up little man, you doubt he'll last much longer. Drunk on the control, you can't take much more stillness, starting to ride the monster as hard as you know he wants it.

Grimbly's eyes widen and his mouth parts soundlessly, you grab the back of the bench to support yourself and grin as you fuck down onto his pretty cock, shivering at every choked out whimper he offers. What a pretty slut, maybe that's what the other ones saw when they took you. And you can't blame them for being weak to it.

The monster clips out moans with each bounce, your legs more powerful than his, jostling his lithe figure somewhat the harder you crash onto him. It's addicting, something you never thought you'd need so bad. Chasing your own pleasure becomes a secondary goal, overshadowed entirely by wanting to ruin the winged monster beneath you.

Grimbly seems entirely hypnotized by the sway of your tits, it would almost be hilarious if it didn't help make you feel so gorgeous and desired. One palm leaves the discolored bench to shove his face directly against your boobs, hearing him groan in rapture. The waiter boy gets to work fast, rolling a slick tongue around your nipple and kissing from one to the other, only ever stopping to drool and moan out what could be mindless pleas.

You don't ever slow down.

Fevered with a foreign sense of glee, Grimbly's ripped back from your now soaked tits by the horns, you dip to share a domineering kiss with him, giggling into his mouth, peeling away only to stuff two fingers between his lips. He sucks on them automatically, and your hips snap as harshly as you can when he bites down, breaking the skin. The slight bit of alarm such sudden pain causes you is shadowed by curiosity -Then realization- As you see Grimbly swallow what few rivulets of blood he can leech out of you.

Vampiric. There's something you didn't see coming.

Apparently, the view of you flushed and debased above him, paired with the flavor of your blood and the delicious clench of your cunt around him is the perfect recipe for the monster to see stars, a mangled feminine cry released past your fingers as he seizes and pistons up pointlessly, his orgasm taking hold of him by the neck. Even then, only you remain in control, deciding how hard to milk his poor cock and taking every last bit of cum as deep as possible.

You only slow down when Grimbly begins crying and begging you for a break. Even still, you'd love to continue torturing him, maybe wring a second one out of his mess of a body. You allow yourself a couple of deep, calming breaths, trying to gather your mind in the haze of unfulfilled pleasure. Gentle palms scritch at the bat's chin and cheek, earning a satisfied, adorable purr.

" Mommy y-you... " He starts, when you rise off his spent cock, wiping some of his own seed on him with no shame. " You didn't get to come. "

" I'll live. " You shrug, watching him slump. Truth be told, your legs are a little sore from being tense with need all this time, from deliberately cunt-teasing yourself, but it's better this way.

While Grimbly slumps onto the wood of the bench and catches his breath, you focus on standing up to straighten the dress, comb over your hair, make sure the bleeding stopped, cover your breasts and think.

Your limbs are free, you're clothed and he's disoriented. The surroundings are basically devoid of others, it's calm. If ever there was a golden opportunity to dash away, this would be it. Hesitating, you glance this way and that, trying to estimate how far the garden stretches, if there's anything like gates in the distance. Which would be the fastest way out for that matter? There's almost a sort of smog effect in the air. Truth be told, the more time you spend out there, the less you like it, the more you feel like you shouldn't be here at all.

Which is true, you never should have been anywhere near this fucking hellpit. But it wasn't your choice now, was it?

Lacking any sort of direction, bare feet step onto the stone pathway that you assume leads North. It's hard to tell given how late it's getting and how blurred the sky appears from here.

You don't make it past three steps.

Something coils around your wrist, yanking hard. When you lose balance, stumbling, Grimbly meets your curved form with an eerie deadpan. When had the little shit gotten up? You didn't hear a thing! Your blood freezes.

" Where do you think you're going, mommy? "

" N-Nowhere, baby boy. " You try, as clear a lie as it is.

The bat tuts. " I really thought you loved me, you know? " It's ominous that you can't tell how serious he's being right now.

In seconds, more of a blink really, you're flung onto the very same bench. It takes a couple of stunted, very slow moments, for your brain to click that- Yes, the short thing you easily lifted minutes ago did, in fact, just launch you around like you weigh less than a feather.

You knew it was too good to hope that Grimbly was nothing more than a frail-armed little pipsqueak...

You try to stand again, jolted by pain on your right arm, which took the brunt of the impact. Something can be heard rolling on the stony ground, and when you think to track the waiter, his long tail slides an object from behind that twisted fountain. A transparent spherical shape is snatched in a four-fingered hand, you can spot something alive writhing within it. Fear starts taking a hold of you.

Grimbly unscrews the container and promptly discards the top half, by the time you realize it's imperative to start running, something foreign and wet has collided with your turning body. Frantic, you find... Strings? Tubes? Worms? Oh God, that's disgusting, they're alive and squirming like tentacles, what the fuck are you even looking at?

The purple and blue-ish things sprout to action upon the first blind palping of your skin, wrapping around your upper body tightly and latching wetly onto the back of the bench, jarringly forcing you to sit. It happens so fast that all you can do is bleat in terror and shake your head. The things pulse around your arms and torso, featuring a heartbeat of their own, invasively caressing your form. Your strength is moot against them, there's very little give no matter how hard you flex.

Panic-stricken, you can only look to Grimbly for answers. He appears perfectly calm, having taken the time to clean himself while you were bound.

" See? This is what happens when I can't trust you, mommy. " He pouts. " Trust is the foundation of every good relationship, you know? "

" What- What the fuck are you doing? "

" Nothing! " The waiter perks up, trotting over to your form and placing a light kiss on your forehead. You openly glare at him. " I need you to stay right here for me while I take care of some things in the restaurant, okay? "

" Yay! I'll be right back! After all, we aren't done. " The bat winks, seeming very excited even as he zooms past you. The last thing you hear from him being no more than a rushed- " Don't miss me too much! "

It takes a long while before you realize he wants an actual answer, to which you groan and nod, furious.

A tired, drawn-out sigh flows out your lips.

How many more times will you have to be tied up in a single day? It's getting ridiculous. From present wrapping to ropes to whatever these organic constructs twined around you are. It just gets worse and worse, doesn't it?

Minutes pass. Darkness starts to creep in. You have no way of telling the time and have long since stopped trying to twist out of the tendrils. Or bite them off. You really wish you could hit your head against the wall, maybe drag the bench out with you, but it's firmly planted into the pathway.

There's nothing to do except stare longingly at the open garden, freedom taunting you like the cruel mistress it is. To think that if, maybe, if you hadn't hesitated, put thought into it, you could have been a great distance away from here already... Miserable.

You're trying to roll your shoulders against the oppressive force of the mass around you when the sound of chatter becomes louder. Footsteps, laughter, shouting. Monsters. People are exiting to the outside area of the building. Perhaps for an event? You can't tell, but it's not important.

What matters is that you can't be seen by groups right now, especially defenseless as you are. That'll be your death sentence, the final chapter of your life's book. More alert than ever before, you start squirming in earnest. Like Hell Grimbly's coming for you. You're fucked!

" Damn it! Stupid fucking things- "

Your aggravated growl rings out as you kick and jerk pointlessly, only serving to tire yourself out. Eventually, a forced sense of calmness, resignation effectively, takes hold. You slump without grace and allow the back of your head to rest on the uncomfortable metal frame supporting the wooden bench. When your eyes open, expecting to see nothing but the distorted sky's bleeding hues, two monsters stare down at you from the rooftop of the gothic infrastructure.

No... That's a monster with two heads. A winged, horned monster with paper bags covering its two heads. One of which has a hole ripped onto it, a red glow coming from within.

The fuck is that one supposed to be?

You squint. Demon? But what is he doing on the roof? In spite of the darkening surroundings, you catch glimpses of blue skin, spotted and sprinkled along his bulky body in a pattern that's not too distinct from the one on the stone paths on the ground... Oh.

Oh. It's a gargoyle. Wow. You never actually saw one of those before in your life. They're not very common. Did he... Are the bags stuck on his heads? Is he meant to have two heads?

Momentary shock set aside, it dawns on you that this monster has been curiously eyeing you for a while now. You have no idea for how long he's been staring, perched there silently like a vulture. Perhaps he's hungry, and you're starting to look like a decent appetizer to him. An easy kill. Trepidation has you gulping, though as soon as you open your mouth to try and communicate with him, ready to have to beg if need be, a grating chorus scrapes at your brain.

Another voice joins the choir of strangers conversing not too far away, this one much more obnoxious and harsh, drowning out all the others. The clicking of boots can be heard.

" Can you believe that's all they had for a starter? Absolutely disgraceful! And to think I've been hearing about this dump like it's the be all end all of recreational establishments- I've seen better entrées in the slop bucket shitheaps of Gluttony! "

Oh, there's that headache you were fearing.

" ... Yes, m'lord. "

Two figures approach faster than the rest of the crowd.

One is a towering, very pale demon with sharp facial features and a completely ridiculous attire. The cape is just the cherry on top. Nevertheless, the fact that he's accompanied by a golden-eyed imp in a dress, looking bored out of her mind, must mean he's of some relevance. You glance between the small four-horned demoness and the one ranting angrily as they settle far too close to you for comfort.

The imp takes out a cigarette from her black dress' pocket and lights it to her red lips. She can definitely see you sweating bullets, though just as clearly doesn't give half a fuck. The other one is still much too busy yapping to no one, eyes cast elsewhere.

" I'm not staying here all day, I have better things to do with my time, I'm not like those abject failures getting ruined in there- It's madness, this whole thing! I can't believe I agreed to it in the first place. Are you even listening?! "

The servant jolts, choking on her cigarette for a second as the distant haze fades from her eyes. " H-Huh? Yes, yes of course your majesty! "

Majesty... Uh oh.

You remember the gargoyle above you, checking to see if he's still there. Surprise surprise, he is. Exactly in the same spot, though a lot more tense in the vicinity of this new pair. Between this dubiously intentioned gargoyle and the guy nagging at his imp, you're not sure who to reach out to for help.

Neither option is particularly appealing.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Captain Hands! Besides hands: what other physical parts and/or expressions are you watching for the most in dramas? What physicalities (besides intimacy, heh) give you the most clues into the psyche of a character?

BESTIE 

BESTIE COME ON, I STILL HAVE TO WATCH ABSOLUTE ZERO AND INSTEAD HERE YOU ARE PUTTING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS IN MY ASK BOX!! 

And you’ve fucked me further by excluding the intimate scenes, when you KNOW THAT THOSE ARE SO FUCKING RIFE WITH PHYSICALITY, CHOREOGRAPHY, AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT 

GAHHHHHHH 

Ugh. Ok. Fine. Just know you did this to yourself because I look at fucking everything, which is part of why it can take me three hours to watch a 45 minute episode of something. 

So there are a couple different things that I love looking at when I am analyzing characters, their body language, and what they are thinking. That said, I think everything after this is extremely subjective and often times hard to give an explanation for why (for example [and just to sneak in a hands example] James gives an incredible performance as Uea, and also, when I see him on screen as Uea I feel like he is paying too much attention to how his hands are laying in a scene since he has to femme himself up a bit. Why do I think that? No clue). 

An additional problem to this is that what I look for is variable depending on the actor themselves and how many things I know them from. For example, I didn’t think Earth was a good actor at first when I watched A Tale of a Thousand Stars because Phupa was *so* repressed that he just read flat to me, and I literally went and sought out other EarthMix pieces, at that time I think only Cupid’s Last Wish was available, to see how Earth performed in that and it grew my appreciation for the fact that he can act.

So, what other things, besides hands, do I look for in the physicality of an actor that makes me understand their character? 

Eyes

Hands and eyes are some of the most expressive parts of a body, and you can learn a lot about people from looking in their eyes. 

There are three main things I am looking for when I am parsing a character’s thoughts or feelings: Eyelid/Eyebrow Movement, Eye Movement, and Eye Shine.

Eyelid/Eyebrow Movement

Not sure if this makes sense, but I am looking for small movements such as eyes narrowing, or getting bigger, or an eyebrow being quirked (shout out to Mark Pakin in Only Friends quirking his eyebrow at Boston when they meet for the first time at the phone repair shop). Obviously for this, as for all things, there are levels to it, if a character is someone fundamentally incapable of keeping their emotions close to the chest, you are going to see that in larger reactions, extremely visible, eyebrow raises, eyes that obviously narrow quickly, etc. Or for characters that are repressed, surprised, distrusting, or otherwise mysterious, I may be looking for smaller reactions, just a little eye twitch if something is getting to them, minimal dipping of an eyebrow if someone is, say, confused. And variations in that are going to be so interesting, for example if a character who is typically good at hiding his emotions suddenly gets a deeply furrowed brow, or has his eyes widen dramatically you know shit is suppppppeeeerrrr fucked. 

gif by @klausbens

Nick is both demonstrating the eyebrow movement, and the next thing I look for...

Eye Movement 

Oh BL boys constantly looking down at their crushes lips, how I love theeeeeee. When I am looking at eye movement, I am usually looking to see how many times someone breaks eye contact with another character, how quickly they return to that eye contact, and where they are looking. Ray in Only Friends is looking very disrespectfully at Sand, and you can tell that Ray is admiring the goods by how slowly his eyes move ever lower. This is an extremely obvious example, because there isn’t really even dialogue happening at the point in time at which Ray is checking Sand out in his bathroom. I live for the moments where characters are talking to eachother, but their eyes keep flitting down to the other person’s lips cause they just wanna kiss them so bad. 

This doesn’t even have to be a ‘let me stare at your lips three times in thirty seconds” or a “let me stare at your lips for thirty seconds” deal either. In moments like Laws of Attraction, Episode 7 where Tin is a wash of frantic eye movements to assess Charn for injuries. You can tell he’s just anxiously taking Charn in, looking to make sure that he’s okay. 

gif by @spicyvampire

Eye Shine 

Eye shine is such a vital fucking part of acting, if I watch something and someone consistently has dead eyes it takes me out of the story a bit, makes me think that either they are a bad actor or that they were not interested in being on that film set. But if a character with bright and shiny eyes, suddenly has dead eyes, oohhhhh the juiciness, ohhhhh the trauma that has been unleashed upon that character. For as much as I have been shit talking Dangerous Romance, I will give it to Chimon that Sailom’s dead eyes after he is almost burned with the iron are incredible. Peat similarly does a great job of this in the last episode of Love in the Air when Prapai rescues Sky from Gun. 

gif by @moonkhao

Bright in I Feel You Linger in the Air is absolutely crushing it in the eye shine department. You do not have to look at Yai for more than ten seconds any time Jom is in the room to see the human equivalent of the heart eye emojis appear. Though we only really started a romance at the end of Episode 6 and we didn’t spend a lot of time in Episode 7 actually focused on Jom and Yai’s relationship, I do not doubt their attraction to one another for one second because of how Yai looks at Jom. 

Film in Laws of Attraction absolutely destroys the ‘I am actively thinking about fucking you, or getting fucked by you,’ aka horny eye shine as Charn in Episode 8 after Charn and Tin kiss at their wedding. I think we are all aware of (as @shortpplfedup calls them) Mix’s ‘fuck me’ eyes in Moonlight Chicken, so on and so forth. 

The change in Neo’s eyes in Ep. 5 of Only Friends before he digs his claws in to Ray? Superb, I saw that look and knew Boston was about to be a shit stirrer. 

Low key, I think part of what makes First such a great actor is the fact that he has really big eyes, because First is a very skilled micro-expressive actor, having facial features that are slightly larger than average I presume (in full speculation) is easier to read the microexpressions. At least for me. For example, it is easier for me to tell when say First in The Eclipse or Mix in Moonlight Chicken are doing micro expressions, especially when it comes to eye shine, than it is for me with Earth in A Tale of a Thousand Stars or Kao in Until We Meet Again. 

Posture 

I look at how a character holds themselves in space, do they feel stiff constantly, do they feel loose? Where are they relaxed, how are they relaxed, are they leaning in, are they leaning out? Do they stutter and stumble (Ray in Only Friends), are they ramrod straight (Akk in The Eclipse), when and where do they melt (Ren and Kazuma in Tokyo in April Is…), when are they experiencing joy (Karl dancing in Gaya Sa Pelikula), when does a character experience desire and especially when do they yank on the leash they have tied around their desire and snap it back behind a door (Pran in Ep 5 of Bad Buddy, Teh in Ep 3 of ITSAY), where does a character place themselves (Hira and Kiyoi in Utsukushi Kare).

gif by @eohachu

If I had to pick one master of posture out of every performer I have seen in a BL, it is hands down, without a shadow of a doubt, no contest, and zero time needed to think, Billkin in his performance as Teh in I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You the Moon. That boy is awkward as hell and I drank in every second of it. But Teh’s posture changes so much in this show, he’s constantly tense, but you can see how some of that falls away when it’s just Oh and Teh together, or when Teh’s attention is on Oh because he leans more forward in his chair, or when he is thinking about things and kinda stressed about them and he is shaking his leg anxiously under the table. Teh is constantly fidgeting and Billkin shows that so well

gif by @thii-nii

One of my favorite acting moments in Only Friends so far is the fight scene in Episode 5, but especially how fucking pissed you can tell Ray is from the way he is breathing and how drunk and ready to continue a fight he is by him being unsteady on his feet

gif by @bird-inacage

And as an aside, some of my takeaways from watching characters aren’t so much about the characters, but about the actors. For example, Saint in Step by Step is too stiff all the time, like he’s aware of the camera and he’s not comfortable being there, and I had hoped as time went on in the show he would give a stronger performance because I could see the bones there, but he just didn’t have the fluidity. And there were a couple scenes towards the end of Step by Step where I do genuinely think he showed major improvement from where he started. 

Similarly, Copter as Lomfon in La Pluie is very stiff, and seeing the behind the scenes, that seems to just be how Copter himself is. But pairing him with Suar is going to make it difficult for Copter to shine in my opinion because of how relaxed and expressive Suar is as an actor.

Speaking of expressions…

Facial Expression 

“Yeah, yeah, Captain Hands, facial expressions, obviously” 

Okay but like, I really really struggle when it comes to microexpressions, and I will watch scenes like four or more times in a row staring only at one character’s face to try to see everything they are doing with their face so I can get a better understanding of how they are reacting, what they are thinking, or feeling. I did this for Phupa a ton in Our Skyy 2 because at someone point in it, and possibly because I have become more familiar with Earth at this point and can read his face much better, something clicked and I started being able to see Phupa’s reactions much more clearly. 

Great example of this (especially in conjunction with posture) is Shiro in What Did You Eat Yesterday? when he fights with Kenji, and tells Kenji to leave and Kenji turns to go. You can see the panic set in to Shiro’s face, the way his mouth drops open, and he kinda moves his jaw like he’s trying to think of something to say. It is such a beautiful demonstration of how deeply Shiro loves Kenji, seeing how scared Shiro is of actually losing him, even when he is incapable of saying “I love you” to Kenji. And that set up early on really helps guide the show, and builds wonderfully up to Shiro’s panicked breakdown near the end of the WDYEY movie when he thinks Kenji is dying cause he dyed his hair. 

gif by @dengswei

Or the way Kenji's face falls when Shiro says "I know you're hurting"

Other examples of very busy faces with lots of things going on that tell me a great deal of information about the characters: Sengtian in La Pluie when he’s watching Lomfon’s video, his jaw drops ever so slightly and quirks to the side a bit and you can tell he’s mad even before he storms out; Akk in The Eclipse, I mean I feel like this one doesn’t really need an explanation, but god is there some good frustrated intakes of breath when Ayan needles at him; Yutaka and Minoru in Our Dining Table (are great examples of eye movement as well) but when Minoru is rambling about his feeling for Yutaka and Yutaka opens his mouth slightly and takes in a breath like he’s going to speak, and then he doesn’t? Superb; 

Sorry to keep bringing up the same handful of shows but they are the ones I’ve watched more recently so they’re what immediately springs to mind. But, in Episode 8 of Only Friends you can tell Ray is feeling kinda bad from very early on in the conversation because he swallows hard after Sand asks about Mew and then has varying levels of face fall when Sand hits him with yet another passive comment.

Aura

God, I do not know how to explain this one at all, because it’s not something I am really actively investigating, but does very much shape how I engage with certain characters, and that is just the invisible vibe they give off. And yes, I understand that an aura is an intangible thing, but to give off an aura in television requires a number of physical elements all working in tandem. Teh, for example just radiates anxiety, frenetic energy, and there are a number of little things Billkin is doing like posture, like eye movement, like facial expression to aide that but those are things that would usually tell me that Teh is anxious, rather than me getting hit with a wave of anxiety through my screen. Similarly the believability of the magnetism between Teh and Oh in PP’s performance, as well as PP and Billkin’s work as scene partners that you can feel the pull between them. 

gif by @tehohaews

I could ramble ever longer as I am sure you are aware, but I will stop here for the sake of making sure whoever is reading this is maintaining even a single scrap of sanity after my very long winded reply. Hope this answered your question? 

TL;DR: Beyond hands I look at eyelids, eyebrows, eye movement, eye shine, posture, and facial expressions including hard swallows and sharp intakes of breath to get a sense of what a character is thinking or feeling.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

okay. actually compiling my thoughts in a way that is (hopefully) more organized in regards to my EOD/phoenix hypnosis au. putting it beneath the cut because idk how long it's shaping up to be

this concept is an alternative take on ieytd3 in regards to the telekinetic implants being the main focus, and prism being an important component. however, the robot agents are of minimal importance

prism does end up making the same tenative alliance with zor, getting the kinesium to work on her projects, and develops her first robotic agent. however, unlike the canon of 3, zor takes a sudden interest in robutler's behaviors… how humanlike they are

they immediately change their plans, scrapping the KBOOM project while it's still in its infancy, commandeering robutler for personal study. by proxy, roxana is forced to remain in zoraxis, having gone from an independent scientist working on her personal projects, to a reluctant scientist working on zor's latest scheme

the scheme in question? well, if kinesium can do such a great job turning unthinking metal into an obedient assistant, then surely with some tweaking, it can turn any meddlesome agent into a compliant weapon.

of course, zor doesn't want just any meddlesome agent. they'll get around to sweeping the rest of the agency's operatives out from under their feet later, of course. but their patient zero must be the phoenix. they'll settle for no less.

one kidnapping, nonconsensual surgery, and a few test drives later- with a scientist as great as prism helming the project (even if against their will), zor gets their wish.

zoraxis' perfect rendition of the phoenix is cold, calculating, completely expressionless. the mirth and looseness of their usual conduct has completely disappeared. they do not speak, nor do they communicate in sign. nobody but zor enjoys engaging with them, really

phoenix has forgotten what it means to feel fear. self preservation and pain response still applies, of course, but nothing beyond that

prism hates it. she feels like a fool for letting zor bait her with kinesium so easily… now she's lost access to the only successful robot agent she's ever built, and the only agent capable of putting a stop to zor's plans has become their unwitting underling. she's the only one with the will to stop this, but SHE doesn't know what to do!

… thankfully, though, she stumbles into her saving grace practically on accident*. key memories, engrained so deeply in the phoenix's mind that they could never be erased- only forgotten and repressed, at best… so long as they're prompted to recall them in very specific ways, phoenix can be temporarily coaxed back into lucidity

*needless to say, relaxing in her office to some slow summer swing became a hell of a lot less relaxing when the phoenix suddenly bolted upright and made a mad dash for the door… she managed to wrangle them down before they blew the both of their covers, but only just barely

phoenix… is on the fence about working with roxana. but she's the only one taking care of them when they fade back into mindless compliance, so they really don't have another choice… not to mention, they're stuck in the same rut, really… both of them working for zoraxis against their will, in a sense

whenever they get time to themselves- when phoenix isn't out doing zor's dirty work and terrorizing the agency- prism feeds them stimuli to 'wake' them up. certain songs on the radio, a series of key phrases, the taste of their favorite sandwiches… whatever trigger they have at their disposal, really

occasionally, phoenix will remain lucid longer than either of them expect them to… sometimes they find themself needing to pretend to be mindless for up to hours at a time. it's terribly stressful, certainly… but phoenix has gotten good at it after a while…

they don't test their luck around zor, though. they have a feeling they would tell immediately… and they really don't think they would like whatever punishment the doctor would have in mind for breaking out of their mental restraints

[sadaveniren]

Ok but how do you not let what is going on with bg affect (or is it effect i never know lol) your view of Louis? Because this past year has affected mine and it's truly heartbreaking. It's clear to me that Louis is actively involved now and I don't think any excuse be it contracts or closeting or career is good enough to justify this morally fucked up situation. I always thought Louis was braver and stronger than that.

I’m gonna try and say this as kindly as I can but it doesn’t affect me because I’m an Old Gay on top of being an Old Fan so when I say I respect, accept, and understand closeted people I am very aware of what it is I am saying and implying and also what it is I am expecting of the closeted person. I expect nothing from them except their continued protection of their closet. And I believe that someone protecting their closet IS important, important enough to even allow you to do “morally fucked up” stuff. Because the closet comes from a morally fucked up place. The closet is about a queer person surviving. End of.

Tbh what would make me think of Louis less is if this was real. If I believed BG was real I would have to accept this celebrity I like is a shitty father, who gave zero shits about this child until they were roughly… 6ish aka old enough that the dad can spoil him with minimal effort or obligation in his end. I would have to accept that Louis had zero hand in raising his child, has zero influence in his child’s life outside of giving him big gifts, and is all in all a sperm donor with money who if he decides tomorrow he wanted full custody he could just take it away from Briana with his money even though he put in NONE of the hard effort of raising a child. He didn’t even have overnight privileges when Freddie was a baby. If you have ever heard a single mother talk about her shitty baby daddy… just apply all of that to Louis and that’s what he would be. If BG was real.

But it’s not real. Briana was never pregnant. Therefore Louis isn’t a shit dad. He’s not a dad at all. He’s a closeted queer person trying to navigate his situation the best he can. As a fellow queer person I respect closeted queer people and I demand nothing of them. I don’t think less of them. I don’t think they are weaker or less brave just because they stay closeted. I understand it’s necessary for their lives that they know better than I will.

[zepumpkineater]

Five Nights at Freddy's Rewrite/AU/Thingamabob

This post will serve as an outline for an FNAF rewrite thing I've had for a long time now, going on several years I've sat on this idea and done nothing with it, so I thought I'd at least throw the idea out there.

Please note that any similarities to the FNAF movie are, in fact, entirely coincidental, and trust me when I say it was an odd experience watching some of my own ideas kinda/sorta make it to the big screen in a film I had absolutely zero input on.

The core idea I have for this sort of rewrite/AU thing is a grounded-in-reality retelling of Five Nights at Freddy's, following a reluctant hero by the name of Mike Schmidt as he dedicates his week to solving the sloppily covered up murders of 5 children ten years ago.

The story (probably) takes place in the 1980s, mid to late 90s at the absolute latest, in what is probably New York City. Setting could change, but I've imagined most of this taking place in the grimy city streets of NYC.

CHARACTERS

Mike Schmidt: The main character, the protagonist, the guy of which the story revolves around. Not related to William Afton, at least biologically, as I am fairly indecisive on the existence of Michael Afton in this, but I haven't totally disregarded him idea wise.

Mike is a man of average height, ranging to be around 5'9 to 5'11 at the absolute tallest. Somewhat athletic build, the build of a man who could run for his life 6 hours a night and not be (completely) exhausted by the time the clock strikes 6 AM. Long face with a square jaw, 5 o' clock shadow clinging to his chin and permanent bags under his eyes. Probably brown or blue eyes. Buzzed, short, or otherwise medium length hair, but never long. Haven't quite decided. Early to mid 20s, age wise.

Personality wise, Mike is a gruff man, his voice is low and somewhat gravelly, he rarely raises his voice and speaks with a somewhat monotone inflection. He often comes across as a jerk, having little patience for other people and exhibits several anti-social qualities, making him a bit of a loner. The kind of kid who got pushed around in school, but if you caught him at the wrong day at the wrong time, you could tell he had some kind of deep seated anger inside of him.

In spite of this, Mike is overall a good man. He is mean, and often cold, but not cruel, and understands when he's crossed a line. He does try his best to care about other people, and does not wish them harm. He is emotionally complex, and has trouble expressing his more intense and sensitive emotions. He's closed off and reserved, but will always try to do the right thing when the situation calls for it. He is a very empathetic man and finds himself putting himself in the shoes of others, but often doesn't know the right thing to do, or the right way to help.

His primary reason for working at Freddy's is financial instability, several months late on his rent and getting desperate. Besides, night guard duty doesn't sound so bad. He was already a bit of a night owl anyway, and there's minimal contact with other people. He vows to quit on day one after almost being murdered by a particularly violent animatronic animal, but finds a piece of evidence that very well might be connected to those murders all those years ago.

Sparking his inquisitive mind, Mike will set himself on a path that will decide the fates of those who were involved on that dark day.

Jeremy Fitzgerald: The secondary protagonist, the deuteragonist, the other guy.

Jeremy is a short and rather thin young man, ranging around 19 to 21 years old. He is in college, working to pay off his tuition and ideally into a life with more stability and certainty. He has fluffy brown hair with bangs that often go into his eyes, forcing them to move them out of the way often when speaking to other people. He has a smaller, slightly more nasally voice, but still distinctly masculine.

He is a kind, but awkward young man, he is a bit of a klutz at times but always means well. He is very opinionated and has many strong feelings about various things, but has trouble expressing them as he often lacks the confidence to stand up for himself or speak his mind when the moment calls for it. He is often frustrated with himself, and has a bad habit of making self-disparaging jokes.

In spite of his meek outer appearance, Jeremy works fantastically well under pressure, and is able to keep his cool when the going gets rough. When he is afraid, he rarely shows it, and puts on a brave face whenever he can. He does not like to let other people see his fear or negative emotions, so he often hides what he is truly feeling.

He is very perceptive, often able to notice things others do not, and has a fantastic sense of internal direction. He often claims he could walk around the entire Freddy's building, back rooms and all, completely blindfolded. He knows the lay of the land, and thus often serves as a guide of sorts during his day shift duties.

He has no particular love for Freddy's as a franchise, other than having gone to some locations during early childhood. However, the work is easy enough and the pay is consistent, so he doesn't complain too much.

Jeremy will initially not know what to make of Mike, only really speaking to him as he closes the building and Mike comes in to prepare for his night shift, but they will gradually become friends and learn to trust each other with time.

Most often chooses the Freddy mask during children's parties, where all staff must dress up as the mascots for the duration of the event.

William Afton: The antagonist, the bad guy, the purple guy.

William is a very wealthy, somewhat older man, with a bit of gray hair tugging at his jet black, oily hair. In most public appearances he is seen with well combed, slicked back hair with enough gel on it that you can smell it. He is tall, lanky, and has an extremely thin build.

He is most often seen wearing a 3 piece black suit, often with a purple tie or other purple adornment, as he has an affinity for the color purple. He has a long, slightly wrinkled face, crow's feet tugging at the corners of his eyes. His eyes, on the surface, are kind and a bit droopy, but under close inspection the more perceptive folk can tell that there is nothing behind them.

He often wears a false smile on his face, one of which to passive onlookers will seem genuine. William is a man who has gotten very good at hiding who he is. He speaks with a more commanding tone, and has a tendency to take charge of conversations he is involved in. He has a slight, but still noticeable British accent, despite having lived in the United States for well over a decade now.

William co-founded Fazbear Entertainment with his business partner, Henry Emily. William had a great deal of knowledge on robotics, but Henry was the true magician to bring many of his ideas to life. Together, William and Henry made Fazbear Entertainment an extremely lucrative franchise, with them selling merchandise, having locations all over the country, and even producing multiple children's television programs starring the famous cast of mascot characters.

In spite of wealth and fame, William is a greedy, selfish man who will always do whatever it takes to benefit himself, and has no problem with throwing people under the bus and walking over people in order to get his way. He is a cutthroat businessman in a cutthroat business. He was often jealous of Henry's talents, and often felt that Henry was intentionally undermining him or showing off in order to one-up him.

William has little regard for the well being of others, and often finds joy or amusement in the suffering of other people, be it emotional or physical. He is a sadistic man, one who is verbally and physically abusive to those closest to him.

William is the perpetrator in the Missing Children's Incident, an incident that propelled Fazbear Entertainment into a downward spiral of lawsuits, scandal, and constant media coverage. Despite substantial evidence and eyewitness accounts, Williams was let off on a not guilty verdict due to having paid off several key figures in the investigation, and being involved in several accounts of sabotage that resulted in key witnesses not making their courtroom debut.

Many still consider him a murderer, but as far as the legal system is concerned, William Afton is an innocent man who did no wrong. To this day, the incident is still unsolved. William has since been outcast from Fazbear Entertainment, however his immense wealth has seen that it matters little.

Henry Emily: A tragic figure, a walking metaphor, Santa Clause, to some.

Henry is the co-founder of Fazbear Entertainment, having done most if not all of the legwork in bringing William's mascot characters to life, so that they may sing and dance on stage for an audience of dozens of children.

Henry is a short, rotund man, who in his early days rarely left his personal workshop. Ever since he was a boy, he always had an affinity for electronics and robotics, often tinkering with his toys, taking things apart only to put them back together again.

He has a bushy, blonde beard and scruffy blonde hair. He is often seen wearing a pair of circular reading glasses. He has a very round and soft face, and often makes jokes about his weight. He has a deep, bass-y voice, and a hearty laugh. He is most often seen wearing a 3 piece brown suit, with a red or yellow tie.

Henry is a kind and intelligent man, having a natural affinity for robotics and working with his hands, making him a born-to-be engineer and craftsman. He has always wanted to make entertainment for children, as he loves interacting with them and entertaining them. He often intentionally tells jokes or does silly voices in order to make children laugh.

In the years following the death of his daughter, Charlotte, more often known as Charlie by her friends, Henry's personality has drastically shifted. He is a much more cold, closed off man, who does not have the same jovial energy that he used to. He is rarely, if ever, seen in public, and spends almost all of his time in his home. He is extremely depressed and lonely, and struggles to find reasons to keep on living.

He personally keeps the location open where his daughter was murdered, in an ever vain hope that someone, somehow, will discover the true circumstances behind her death. The lack of closure is one of the few things anchoring him to life, and without it, it is very likely Henry would have ended his own life years ago now.

He has no immediate relation to either main character, but his involvement would become more apparent as the story progresses. He is a key figure in one ending I have planned.

Phone Guy (P.G.): The suck-up, the sycophant, the side character.

Phone Guy, who's name is never revealed in the story, is the manager of the building both Mike and Jeremy work at. Mike never ends up meeting him during his time working at Freddy's, however, Jeremy describes him as "yay high, average build, kind of annoying." Mike does however learn his initials, P.G., as they are often signed on several company memos.

Phone Guy is deeply over-enthusiastic about Fazbear Entertainment, and is personally very worried about the reputation of the company. He wants to help rebuild the reputation of Fazbear, and ensure the company has a long and lucrative future in Children's Entertainment.

Many of his employees are annoyed by him, as he will often go on long tangents about the history of the company and its iconic characters. Jeremy in particular has been unfortunate enough to suffer through multiple of his tangents.

Phone Guy leaves multiple messages for Mike that would play at the beginning of each night, detailing his duties as a night guard and proving some tips and tricks in order to be a more efficient worker. This has earned him the nickname "Phone Guy" from Mike.

He also has a distinct, vintage cherry red rotary phone sitting on the desk of his office.

STORY

Story wise, I have only really plotted out the core beats and plot progression of the story.

The story would begin with Mike, down on his luck, desperately searching for a job he could hold as he attempts to make enough money to at least pay off his rent. Despite being very aware of the grisly murders that took place at the very location, Mike accepts a night guard position at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. The pay is barely acceptable and the hours are mediocre, but it would involve minimal interaction with other people and at times he could manage.

His first night would end in near catastrophe, with him very narrowly surviving an encounter with Freddy himself. Mike vows to never work there again, no matter how desperate he is, and would rather sleep on the street than subject himself to this horror night after night, but he finds something that convinces him to stay. It might be a scrap of bloodied clothing, or some other piece of evidence that would set him on the trail.

Over the course of the story, Mike would be tasked with finding and collecting as much evidence as possible that would lead him down the path of solving the murders that took place at this restaurant a decade ago. One by one, he would steadily build a collage of evidence, culminating in him discovering a hidden, closed off room to the restaurant, containing the very suit and murder weapon that was used to kill the 5 children.

I have two endings in mind, one with a direct confrontation with Afton, resulting in Mike barely getting the upper hand against the deranged murderer, causing him to be springlocked in a rather fantastic and gory fashion.

The other idea I have is Mike submitting his evidence to the police, resulting in William being convicted, and put to death.

In both endings, I would like for Henry, now having closure for his daughter's death, burn down the building with him inside it, releasing the damned souls of William's victims from this mortal coil. Mike would also receive a generous "gift" in the mail from Henry, a check for who-knows-how-much money, as Henry no longer had any immediate family to give it to.

Of course in the story there would be room for Jeremy, likely in the form of conversations between him and Mike, and Jeremy sharing some of his expertise in order to help Mike survive the perils of Freddy's.

There are many intricacies I will have to work through in time, but that is the rough outline I have for the order of events I want the story to take. Bullet points, if you would.

I could put more on this post such as unused/uncertain ideas, but I think I will leave it here for now, as this post has gotten long enough as it is. Feel free to ask questions, leave feedback, or do what you would like with these ideas.

These ideas are open for those who wish to use them, provided you credit me, of course. I will likely not be doing anything with them myself, so I have no qualms with other people taking inspiration, or using the ideas directly.

[its-the-ratdawg]

can we please keep Al out of the Hannibal fandom? if you have literally any appreciation for the genuine talent and work that actors, writers, and set/costume designers put into the original show, you should know why using Al is wrong. if you have fanartists or fanfiction writers whose work you enjoy, you're minimizing the hours of hard work and talent they put in to make that art and post it for you to enjoy.

you get out of art what you put into it. when you put genuine work and thought into art, even if it turns out shitty, it means something. Al art generated in ten minutes is never going to give you a meaningful result.

if you're so lazy, selfish, and dedicated to instant gratification that you can't be bothered to do the work yourself or even commission another human being to do it for you (insane idea i know) and instead you'd rather contribute to the hell machine that is Al, that alone is disappointing. but if you want to take the results of that process and call it art, you have zero respect for art. this is true for every fandom but lately i've had to block so many Hannibal blogs for Al use and it's frustrating.

there is always, without exception, a better human equivalent. there is nothing AI can do that humans can't do better. don't generate art, learn to draw or send a commission to an artist you appreciate. don't use Character AI, find a mutual to roleplay with (a lot of people would like to!). don't generate fanfiction, Ao3 is already full of beautiful work and I have plenty of recommendations if anyone is interested.

and not to be rude, but we can tell. even if you dont want to tag it as Al because you're embarrassed, it is very obvious.

[littlemissmanga]

Maybe Among the Stars

Pairing: Broadside x (gn)Reader

W/C: 2,737

Summary: Broadside was literally built to withstand risk and danger. He’s willing to take the chance this will all end badly. But that was back when the only one at risk was him. How can he face that same danger knowing it’ll roll over onto you now?

Warnings: Angst/comfort, the realities of loving a soldier, slight nod to intimacy but think like PG-13 rating. Lots of longing, but it's got a happy ending.

A/N: Goodness, I had this drafted out so long ago but real life and brain pain made this take forever. I’m terribly sorry @sunshinesdaydream for the slight delay, but here is your Broadside fic for the @rare-clone-fic-exchange! I had a lot of fun researching Broadside, Shadow Squadron, their planes and getting to dive into a starfighter’s mentality. I hope you like what I did with his personality since there isn’t too much in canon to go off of, other than his limited screen time showed me a very confident man. And what’s better than a fic about a man in crisis with himself?

Also, submitting this as an entrance for my @clonexreaderbingo card, the “Hope” square. 😊

Inspiration song, The Word of My Body from Spring Awakening: “Oh, I’m gonna bruise you. Oh, you’re gonna be my bruise.”

dividers by @saradika

It wasn’t fair. To either of you, but he understood the risk and was willing to face it. He knew what could come next and didn’t care if it meant one more chance.

But you …

You put up a great front. It took him too many rotations to see the softness under your steel. Weeks of finding reasons to fuel up at the café you worked at before he was shipped off just to tease you and get under your skin. It was a challenge that gave him a little lightness to his step before he and his brothers were back in the heat of battle, the memory of a cheeky smile on pretty lips settling his battle-tossed nerves.

Eventually, the face behind the smile was the thought that gave him comfort. But he’d never say it. He could keep you at an arm’s length and still get his fix as long as he didn’t cross that line.

And you never backed down from this game you couldn’t have known you were playing, giving as good as you got but never with cruelty. Your responses had even gotten downright flirtatious recently, a taste of normal that he couldn’t resist.

Until the last time.

Right after the Battle of Coruscant. Broadside had been flying high even with his feet solidly on the ground. Shadow Squadron had taken impressively minimal damage as each trooper flew beside General Skywalker bravely and proved integral to the safe retrieval of the Chancellor.

He’d opened the door to your café with a swagger that would make even his General blush, ready to leverage his status as planetary savior for a free slice of meilroon pie.

But instead of the sweetness he was expecting, the salt of your tears was all he could taste for hours after. The relief couldn’t erase the deep worry lines on your face at the sight of him, and while Broadside wasn’t above imagining what you’d feel like in his arms, the reality of your half-choked sobs racking your form as it melded to his when you pushed into him and held him like he would float away weighed on his heart.

“They were showing the dogfights over the holonet. I saw … there were so many … I didn’t know if …”

The realization hit him like a proton canon blast: He had become someone important to you. You felt the same way about him as he did you.

And ever since, elation and dread warred within him.

Since the Battle of Coruscant, Shadow Squadron had been requested to handle more escort missions for the Chancellor, meaning more time on Triple Zero.

More time with you.

But proximity to the Chancellor and by extension the Corrie Guard meant no room for deviation from the regs … including the one about not fraternizing with spunky natborns who’d be brought to tears at the thought of a trooper in danger.

A specific trooper. Him.

A gorgeous soul who kept him on his toes, challenging every truth he thought he knew. Who’d started saving a serving of his favorite meals when they were on special without knowing if he’d be coming in that day. Who’d throw an extra serving in for a customer going through a bad day but feigned ignorance when questioned. Who fought off the thugs and lowlifes that’d crawl in from the lower levels with a broken broom without an ounce of fear but shattered at the sight of his Squadron in danger overhead.

He was going to hurt you.

Maybe, just a little, he understood why the Jedi didn’t allow attachments. Because more and more, Broadside could feel the craving to see you again rise and overshadow the knowledge of just how thoroughly he’ll ruin you.

***

“Is this where you’re gonna murder me?”

Broadside threw an exasperated look over his shoulder. “Why would I drag you all the way here just to murder you?”

You cocked an eyebrow as your head swiveled to take in the narrow, at to be fair rather dingy, ally he was leading you through. “To throw the cops of your trail, duh. It’s like you don’t even listen to those crime holos I send you.”

He heard the smile in your voice and felt its match stretch on his own lips at your macabre humor.

“Those are all full of fluff anyway. It’s all nonsense.”

“No, they’re-”

“Shush.” He turned back and continued leading you on. “We’re almost there.”

“Would be great to know where ‘there’ is. Or what’s gonna happen there.”

Despite your grumbling, Broadside could feel your grip tighten around his hand. All at once, your simple show of trust filled his chest and brought him to his knees.

He didn’t deserve it. But he hoped he’d earn it.

Reaching a nondescript door ­— one of many to line the ally — Broadside stopped in the entranceway, pulling you over to face him.

“You already know the answer, mesh’la. You came up with this idea.”

Confusion covered your face with an aching cuteness. He could see the wheels turning inside, your eyes giving everything away as you searched for an answer.

“Closing time ... I was helping you sweep ... You asked what civvie experience I wanted to have …”

Your eyes sharpened in a playful glare. “And you said, ‘working in a diner’ just to be an ass.”

He leaned in close, towering over you and invading your space just to rile you more. He couldn’t help it. Broadside was addicted to that spark and needed it, needed you, like a hit of spice. “Not just to be an ass. But that’s not the important part. What came next?”

“You … You asked me what I’d want to do …”

Your eyes were wide as moons when you looked back up at him, disbelief filling every inch of your expression. “No …”

“Yup.” He confirmed, entering the access code and opening the door to reveal the back entrance to the hanger where Shadow Squadrons brand-new Y-wings were lined up all nice and pretty.

This time, he didn’t take your hand. Broadside strode through the hanger like he owned it, confidence grounding every step and growing at the sound of your quick footsteps franticly trying to keep up with his.

“Broadside!” You hissed quietly, earning a rich laugh at your idea of stealth. “This can’t be allowed. We’re gonna get caught!”

He stopped next to his new ship, ladder at its side at the ready. “You know, I’m actually insulted. You think I haven’t thought this through.” Turning, Broadside gestures broadly at the hanger. “See? No one around. Maintenance has been reassigned and my squad is grounded right now.”

Your eyes followed his across the cavernous room and you nodded in agreement. But your lip was still caught between your teeth, a telltale sign.

Letting the levity slip away, Broadside brought his hands up to cup your face and pull your gaze to his. Once again, he invaded your space but this time, all teasing was gone. “No one will know we’re here. I’ve got you.”

You gave him that look again. The same one as that day, the one that screamed to him just how unsure you really were underneath all your strength and bluster. The one that broke his heart with how much he wanted to erase it from your face. The same one that told him, just maybe, that you knew how tenuous this all really was.

And then you stepped closer.  

You turned to reach for the ladder, stopping to look at him one more time. He gave you an affirmative nod, fighting every cell that cried out to shatter in relief. Maybe this would go better for you both than he thought.

Following closely, he climbed up the ladder after you, settling behind you in the cockpit.

It was a tight fit, only being designed for one person at a time. Broadside struggled for a moment, trying to get his legs to fit around yours in the narrow space until you took matters into your own hands. A touch was all it took to get him to sit still, your hand holding down firmly on his thigh.

The look you sent him over your shoulder is so soft, Broadside wanted to preserve it somehow. To freeze time so you’d always look at him just like that. To make a galaxy where you’d have no reason to ever look at him any other way.

“May I?” Your voice was steady, but barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” he rasped back.

Lifting yourself up, you moved your legs to straddle his before resting yourself on his lap.

“Sorry, but I think this may be the most comfortable configuration.”

Broadside reached around you to start the operating procedures, reveling in the feel of you so close. It was a mockery of an embrace, but it was enough for now.

“No need to apologize, angel. We’re all good here.”

Once all systems were engaged and optimized, he pressed his comm. “Shadow One to Tower. All systems go, here. Ready for clearance.”

You spun in your seat to level him with an intense glare. “No one will know we’re here?”

And Broadside couldn’t resist stoking your fire, sticking out his tongue like a cadet just to revel in how riled you got. “No one who will say anything. Corkscrew is on tower watch tonight and he owes me a favor or three.”

“Tower to Shadow One. Request for test flight confirmed. You are clear for launch. You have 30 minutes.”

“See? Just a standard test flight for the new fighters,” he said smugly.

With that, Broadside went through the launch procedure without a second thought, focusing instead on every way you shifted on his lap, how your hands fumbled for purchase on the sides of the ship before gripping hard on his knees. His hand curled around your hip, holding you in place for all the good it did. The turbulence had you shaking against him and by the Maker if that friction wasn’t the most sensational thing in the entire galaxy.

But everything settled when they broke the atmosphere, the stillness and quiet covering them and isolating them from the chaos of the city planet below.

He watched with delight as your head moved on a swivel, turning back and forth to take in the vast array of stars in front of you.

“It’s beautiful,” you breathed.

“Yeah, it is.” Broadside’s response was just as quiet as he took in your awe before adding louder, “But we didn’t come up here just to look at it.”

“No?”

Before you could do anything else, he grabbed your hands. Without asking, he brought them to the steering column, molding his over yours.  “No. You’re gonna fly.”

He could see the broad, devious grin overtake your face in the reflection of the transparisteel and for the briefest moment, Broadside second-guessed whether this was a good idea.

Worry quickly gave way as he lost himself fully in the joy you exuded. Playful cheers filled the small Y-wing cockpit as he instructed you through a few of his simpler maneuvers. Eventually, he began taking a bit more control, showing off with several rolls and drops all in hopes of earning just one more delightful shout, one more squeeze of your thighs around his. All while his hand kept you in place on his lap.

Leveling out after his latest round of showing off, you leaned back against him fully, losing all tension in your body to rest soundly against his chest.

“So, what brought this on?”

His pause is palpable, creating a stillness that could rival space itself. He knew it would happen eventually. But he hated that it could ruin everything.

“I … I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit you next.”

His eyes were trained onto every inch of your body, so he saw the moment your shoulders tensed.

“I see. Even though I know Shadow Squadron has been assigned to escort the Chancellor from now on.”

Broadside took a breath, preparing for his practiced spiel, but you wouldn’t give him the chance. “Oh, yes. Don’t think I don’t follow the news. I do. Of course I do, because how else would I know where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay. You don’t tell me these things when you visit. I have to piece together rumors and suspicions. So I know you’ll be around more. But sure, tell me the lie. Tell me you won’t be able to see me. I’ve been dumb enough flirt with you. To start feeling …”

Your voice tapered off. He couldn’t see your reflection anymore, your face cast downward, but he could see how tightly you were holding yourself.

“Maybe I’ll be dumb enough to believe the lie,” you whispered.

He reached forward, snaking his other arm around to encircle your waist and pull you impossibly closer. Like a child clutching a soft toy, he curled around you in the cocoon of the cockpit.

It must have hurt. His armor was hard and unyielding. He could imagine all the ways it dug in to your pliant skin, how your curves arched around its firm plains.

Even his embrace was painful to you.

And yet you didn’t fight. You didn’t pull away or even adjust yourself. No, you pushed yourself closer, folding yourself in to fit into him like a missing piece.

“It’s not a lie,” he whispered, hoping for all the galaxy that you heard his promise. “It’s not safe.”

“For who?”

“For both of us.”

The silence lingered, and he knew you understood. If you really had been following the war, if you’ve been slicing through the holonet for information, then you had known the truth of his words for a while.

Shifting your hips, you turned in his hold, folding your legs under you to sit sideways on his lap. You didn’t look at him, though. Instead, you tucked your head under his chin, staying as close as possible. “Is that why you brought me up here? Show me the stars so I have something pretty to look at when you tell me it’s over?”

His grip tightened. “No.”

“Then why?”

He brought his hand up to cup the back of your head. He needed you as close as possible. “Because I can’t say it’s over. I want to. But I can’t. I will knowingly put you in danger just to see you again, to hear you again.”

He pressed his lips to the crown of your head. His first kiss has the aftertaste of salt and bitterness, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Bringing you to see the stars like you always wanted is the least I can do. I’ll give you anything within my power ’cause I’m taking so much more.”

You wriggled in his grasp, pulling away just enough to look him in the eye. Your cheeks were stained with tears he didn’t even hear begin to fall. Instinctively, he brought his thumb to swipe it away, but your hand stopped him.

“You’re not taking anything, dumbass. I’m giving it willingly.”

Broadside’s eyes close as relief surged through his body. He relaxed even more at the feel of your forehead pressed against his.

“I don’t care about the danger. And take as much time as you need to make things as safe as possible. But you’re not the only one who can’t call quits, so don’t act like you’re carrying the burden alone.”

He couldn’t help the smile that spread easy as sin across his lips at your declaration. Knowing that you were as far gone as he was. Now that he had your knowing consent, that you could handle all that came with being together, there was nothing holding him back.

“So, I don’t have to plan such extravagant dates?”

You let out a peel of laughter in response, your delight breaking the last remnant of grief. “Oh, you absolutely have to try and top this next time. I’ll accept nothing less.”

Fueled by hope and the fire of his wanting, Broadside pressed his lips to yours, tasting starlight and a hint of the blumfruit juice you had earlier.

“I’ve created a monster,” he murmured into the kiss.

“Indeed, you have.”

Your smile against his lips is all the reassurance he needed to not care.

You can find the rest of my fics on my Masterlist here. And you can sign up for my taglist to be alerted to any new fics here.

[dramarising-replacement]

Free art threads.

Made a couple of these in the past, and I'm actually considering just.. not doing them on this site anymore? I actually think I'd be better off doing free art for people on Toyhou.se instead.

Cue the rant.

-------

So I'm sure some of y'all are familiar with the "Creative Corner" in the forums, yeah? You can share random art you've made, ask people how much they'd pay for your art, that sort of thing. Then, you got the free art threads. They can be titled things like "Drawing ur dragons :33" and "bored, draw humans. bye." and you'll also see the same couple users posting in those threads, but I'm not here to name-drop lol.

The ones who I have a problem with are the ones who don't read anything. Like, at all. You could spend thirty minutes crafting a decent looking thread, filled with information (but not TOO much, just enough to answer most people's questions) and highlight the "rules" part of your thread that has specific steps to follow for free art. Wanna know what the majority of the commentors on your thread are gonna do?

"[Insert dragon image] Pls draw :)" or "[Link to a page with over 60+ dragons] choose whatever one you want.]" and that's about it. There won't be any mention of any steps you wanted them to follow, (The steps are usually very simple, too. As in, let the artist know the bare minimum idea of what you want. I'm talking about expressions here. That's literally all they'd have to do to get some scrumptious free art.) and that feels kinda invalidating, y'know?

I'm not asking the commentors to describe a whole scene for me, I'm just asking them to give me ONE LITTLE IDEA (again, an expression or maybe if they want a bust) and I'll do the rest for them, free of charge. The art that they'd be getting isn't some random disaster of a sketch, nono, it's fully-colored and shaded. It also doesn't look like something that a 5 year old drew. (No shade to people who draw like that, I was stuck like that for years.) Bro, just do a MINIMAL amount of reading and I'll draw your dragon that has an absurd amount of apparel to tje point where it hurts my eyes.

..It doesn't just stop there, either. I've also seen these people never reply to artists who have given them an absolute masterpiece of a drawing, for free. Bro. You serious? I get that some people are inactive, which I'm not bothered by. But the ones who aren't? ...Ehh, I just think you could at least thank the artist before returning to the void with your free art.

The moral of the story is; Do the bare minimum and read what matters in a post, and thank the artists who draw your dragons for free. Especially the ones who could've easily charged you 1kg+ for the work they've done.

If you're socially awkward, then cool. I get that. If you can't afford to pay artists with fictional pixel money, then go ahead and visit the free art threads. I'm not trying to gate-keep them, I literally make these threads. I just don't enjoy having people put zero effort in their requests and then never acknowledge the fact that I drew their dragon for them. Just my thoughts, everyone views things differently and that's okay!

---

Btw, I mentioned Toyhou.se because I've posted on both before, and while there are SOME similarities in the users' behavior, there's also some notable differences, too.

Common flight rising free art thread comment: [doesnt read text and adds dragon image] thanks if you draw.

Common Toyhou.se free art thread comment: [links a character, goes into a VERY in-depth explanation about how said character acts, very passionate too. Usually reads rules, too.] Thanks if you draw. (gotta stay consistent lol)

Obviously there are some differences in the sites which affect how the users act, I get that. One's a literal dragon collecting game and the other one's focused on writing and drawing characters, it's expected that one would read more than the other.

...But again, free art. Not paid, but free. Someone takes time out of their day to draw your dragon. Just give them a simple "thanks" and go on your merry way. That's all you gotta do. Lets them know their effort was appreciated, and shows that you're a nice person. Win-win.

Please man, just read. Did I mention that these threads usually have a maximum of 100 words? I don't usually type this much. But damn, this just irritated me so much.

Well, that's the end of this rant. Like I said, a few people are obviously going to disagree with some/maybe everything I've said, and that's life. This was a disorganized rant, and that's all it's going to be.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch. I'm an anon from November who sent you an ask about how long I can put off seeing a gynecologist, with the ideal answer being "forever". You probably don't actually need that information but at some point my brain decided you might want to know that I am finally going to attempt to do that? Idk. While every part of the process still sounds unbelievably horrific to me and just reading about it makes me cry, I am 26 and so I should probably stop delaying, but I…also have no idea how to find a gynecologist? I don't have a primary care doctor to ask about this (why is not really relevant except in that my general experience of doctors is that they have zero interest in helping me, which does not make me more enthusiastic about an invasive pelvic exam) and everything I've turned up in googling was super vague and useless. So I was hoping you might have some pointers on how to get started. Also how do I have a gynecological exam when just thinking about it makes me want to throw up, but like, I doubt anyone has advice on that since most people are, like, normal.

hey anon,

it seems like you're being a little harsh on yourself there at the end of that ask, and I don't care for that at all! if you've been around this blog for any length of time, you ought to know that many people have a hard time visiting the gyno for all kinds of reason. it's one of the most common types of questions I get here, and I've always tried to emphasize that I myself am one of those people! pap smears hurt like fucking hell for me, and I don't want to make any secret about that! as tempting as it can be to view yourself as some kind of anomaly when you're experiencing difficulty, it's very rarely the case.

put it this way: there are almost 8 billion people in the world, dude. even if only 1% of humanity wanted to throw up at the thought of a gyno exam, you'd still be in a club with about 79 million other people.

in terms of actually getting the damn thing done, I recently answered another ask with a very similar problem and raised the possibility of ultrasounds, a noninvasive way of conducting the same examination, which may be a great deal of help to you. in your search for a gynecologist I'd strongly recommend opening with questions about the possibility of conducting an ultrasound instead of a more conventional exam, stressing that it would be much better for your overall comfort and wellbeing.

in a scenario where that's not feasible, it's still a good idea to initiate the conversation to talk about what accommodations can be offered to make the experience as minimally awful as possible - for instance, will they let you bring a buddy for emotional support? can you stay in your own clothes if you'd feel more comfortable that way? fully just. don't get on a table or take your pants off until you've spoken with the person who will be doing your exam and make sure they understand your whole situation and how best to be accommodating for you.

[aotopmha]

i totally get your point of view and i too wish that we got more of historia, not only in the final episode, but throughout this final arc. but that doesn't bother me as much because in my mind historia's arc is complete. and while i do wish she did more in these final chapters, i'm happy with everything she did throughout the series and how she ended up in the end. i don't think she ended up in a bad place. sure, she could have been more on-screen, prominent etc. but i'm just happy to see her happy. i think all the characters got a good conclusion. some better than other, though, for sure.

I just really disagree with that.

The very specific idea behind her character to me was that she was no longer her passive persona Krista Lenz.

I, not for once, thought that was her actual "true self", but that's what I feel like she reverted to for the minimal amount of time she was on screen for the last arc.

She complied with her position as a baby machine and took all of Eren's bullshit while for some reason deciding to have a child to simply basically "save herself and stop the 13-year cycle".

We had chapters of character exploration of why she wouldn't doom another child to save herself.

Her father only wanted to use her for his gain and she denied it.

*SHE OPENED AN ORPHANAGE TO GIVE PURPOSE AND PLACE TO THOSE WHO DIDN'T HAVE ONE.*

I 100% think she would not doom another child like this no matter what, even if it ended up "okay" in the end. Even if it is "the only option" to save herself.

Ymir, who is the most important character to her for most of her journey, doesn't even get the tiniest of nods in relation to her at the ending.

Who even IS the Farmer Guy?

If you know anything about how gay-coded characters are treated in fiction, you know how common it is to pair them off with random straight partners without any work put in the character writing.

And okay, let's make the argument that Historia only had a strong friendship with Ymir, she's bisexual and all of the usually weak excuses people give when (even potentially) gay characters are denied a full on relationship by the writers pretty blatantly.

I don't know Farmer Guy. He doesn't even have a name.

As much as I don't care about the romantic aspect to Annie's and Armin's relationship, both also actually have talked to each other on screen. It was there for a long time.

For Farmer Guy, we just have a blurb of saying he used to be one of her bullies who wishes to make amends.

*SO MUCH TIME* went into building her character and this is the payoff?

Her end is "happy" and "complete" only in the most surface-level sense. She and her child are okay. It's not even that I want more, it's that I want something that isn't a bunch of nonsense.

But in reality she has basically zero characterisation in the last chunk of the story and most of what she does is only explained in a couple of lines – so much of the meaning of which is gleaned from other characters talking about her. And because her own words are so minimal, reading her motivations is based on a bunch of conjucture, too.

It's a vague mess.

You can *assume* she had the child because she was pushed into a corner by Eren and the threat of repeating the 13-year cycle. But we never get anything from her beyond this. It's a really massive reversion with very minimal explanation to me.

Aside from the base thematic issue of her taking away the freedom of another child, I think Historia, just like Eren, would be able to be immune to the "influence" of King Fritz (which is actually all OG Ymir herself). I think she would stand against the Rumbling in a way that doesn't involve being a passive pawn because she found her meaning in giving meaning to others.

She wouldn't just forget what she wanted with a snap of a finger and I do not think she was so bound to Ymir emotionally her death removed all of the actual fight from her.

I'm sorry, but I just deeply do not like this take. To me a good character ending isn't the most surface-level happy or sad ending, it is payoff to all of the work the story has done with its characters and themes.

And regarding Historia, I deeply disagree with how she was written in the final arc.

Thank you for the ask!

[aipilosse]

🔥6 and 7?

lmao are you my Maedhros anon? sending me asks because you sense our shared distaste?

ok. VIOLENCE TIME.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Russingon of course!!! Caveat that I used to enjoy Russingon greatly and I have many beloved mutuals who ship Russingon and I don't think you're annoying at all <<<333

But.

LMAO the fact that people are so insane about the ship that they'll take offense if it's included as a non-canon ship? To the point where there is at least one event where implying it's not canon is taboo? The fact that people seem to legitimately believe it was intentional subtext from Tolkien and any minimization of it is homophobic? 'Chrissy T straightwashed the Silm' is something I have read with my own two eyes (and it had more than zero notes). The fact that I think like 75% of the long fic about it has the most god awful pretentious (and incorrect) lore documents to go along with it? The fact that they tie themselves in knots making terrible arguments to explain why their relationship is OK in canon (which... why does it need to be OK in universe? forbidden love is sexy. and why do you care what Tolkien the very conservative oxford professor thought about your ship? and why do you care about what a random anon thinks about your ship? THEY ARE FICTIONAL IMMORTAL ROYALS OF AN INVENTED SPECIES MODELED AFTER MILLENIA-OLD EPICS. why would modern sentiments apply at all?) instead of 'Yeah they're fucking half-cousins deal with it, bitch.'

I will put down the knife now.

And then pick it back up, because

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

lololol OK, now I have to put Maedhros for this one. There are still a handful of people whose Maedhroses I'll read, but for the most part 'gentle giant who never meant to hurt anyone uwu' has completely turned me off the character.

Though gentle giant might be better than the full on incoherent takes I've seen. People sometimes seem to give him the most brutal, violent, callous characteristics while keeping the same 'poor Maedhros didn't mean to hurt anyone' overtones while not realizing that that is so much worse.

lol now putting down the knife for real.

[natzaichu]

From my experiences, I have discovered that nudging is a very effective strategy for enhancing my productivity and encouraging other people to take desired actions.

Until last year, I always felt that I didn’t have enough time for all I needed to do. Then I realized that one of the main root causes is the distraction. Every time a notification pinged I would lose my focus and reach for my phone. Before I knew it, I was on a couch sliding my news feed.

Similarly, my New Year resolution to exercise always failed. I felt there was too much effort and time to do it. The greater the friction, the easier to excuse myself and quit.

So I learned that the key is to minimize distraction and friction. Easier than I thought, I scheduled a daily ‘focus’ period on my phone to silence notifications and put my phone out of sight. I also placed my dumbbells in front of the TV making exercise accessible while enjoying Netflix. These minor nudges significantly boost my productivity.

Beyond personal improvement, I recently found a very interesting nudge that solved a crosswalk safety issue in Vancouver. It was an April Fools’ Day prank called ‘Pedestrian Brick Crossing System’. The system was simple. On each side of the crosswalk, pedestrians can take a red foam brick and wave while crossing, to grab drivers’ attention. As you can imagine, this simple yet playful nudge proved remarkably effective.

Inspired by these experiences, I look forward to exploring how nudging can enhance branding and customer experience in my 15.846 class.