#that wont make me hard to love
Text
what if we all exploded and fucking died
#sorry i am having yet another episode of. oh right..i am hard to love. i will forever be hard to love. there is nothing that i can do#that wont make me hard to love#and not that anyone says this to begin with but people can go ohhhh nooo youre not hard to love! but theyd be lying theyd be fucking lying#you dont have to fucking lie to me i know i am i know i know i know i know#there is not a single fucking person in the world out there who would take a fucking look at me and go i think youre worth it for years#no one has to fucking lie to me i know im hard to fucking love its not like my entire love life has made that fucking clear to me#this is why i stopped putting myself out there cause its nothing but pain and heartbreak and another reminder how im an idiot for trying#the worst thing of all is i dont know how to stop being hard to love indont know how to stop it#if i knew how to stop being so fucking hard to love cause i cant fucking fit what people want me to be or how im in their fucking heads#or im too fucking neurotic to be fucking loved#i wouldve started that shit in a fucking heartbeat#but theres no fucking way to change this. oh youll make other people happy oh you cant give up finding the one#fuck off. there is no one. im not meant to make anyone happy in the way i want to#forever liked never loved. you know the fucking deal#whatever im gonna drown myself in alcohol later :D#delete later
1 note
·
View note
Text
Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
286 notes
·
View notes
Text
✈️🌊🐬 blue 🐬🌊✈️
🌠
#sentai#boonboomger#gekiranger#kyuranger#hurricaneger#go onger#toqger#king ohger#137/172 DONE#lost my mind for a minute there but i got it back and finished these damn blues#theres a lot to love here tho#renn. gouki. shima. ozora. nanbara. nanami. SHOJI. KOTARO. you get the idea#uuuuuuuh no deathryuger for the same reason there wont be a zeek gogov#no ramirez because for the doubled up kyoryugers i have decided i am only drawing one and that one will be the character i like better#for if i drew all the kyoryugers i fear i would actually be driven mad#stripe brigade currently at 6 members (7 if you count bun who is a stripe brigade member in spirit)#ken is telling you that its not even raining that hard and if you dont hurry up and run the lap he is going to beat your ass#renn has made you breakfast please say thank you#anpan oume.#finishing the blues means so many teams are now completed and ngl its making me kinda sad#what do you mean i have no more dynaman left to draw 🥺🥺🥺#2024 art tag
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
What if Luxu and Player encounter each other with each of the player’s reincarnation
Luxu who is stealing bodies vs the kid that keeps coming back to life
#its giving immortal and reincarnated hero#if the player is sora thats would just make funnier in my head#luxu wont be able to catch a break#(me personally i prefer the theory that yozora is the player so player wont have canon face)#luxu: gotta go though the pain of getting used to new body again#player: wussup everyone i just came back to life again!#i wonder if luxu will have personal beef with the player cause of that#or will he actually relate to the player for having to struggle in life again#even tho the player choose to reincarnat.. sure they didn’t choose to have the memories#idk its just crack theory i like#what if there is player 3 that luxu will find to help subject x with her memories#i like to give the player more trauma with them having more reincarnations#cause why would they be able to control it..#they could have life before khux#or if they reincarnated and woke up with their memories which was hard to carry and ended that life cycle#so their next round was amnesia so they will get more used to life again#i love tragic player ideas 😔#staying alive vs reincarnation two types of time travel i guess#kingdom hearts missing link#kingdom hearts#player#kh luxu#kh player#khux#khml#kh#crack theory#kingdom hearts union x#luxu
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
Roleswap anyone??
Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!
#this might be the most mentally ill thing ive drawn yet....#lmao im like ah this would be a funny idea to draw#and then got WAAYYYYY more into drawing napoleon#to the point of cuteness aggression and sadness that him in f1 isnt real :(#cofi and i made up a whole lore and plot line so if you want a pt 2 of that hmu LMAO#but briefly: hes a driver(2 wdc btw) who got kicked out for smth and then came back as a tp again to torment his former rivals#gahhhhh why is he so cute why isnt he real :( i would stan him so hard you dont understand#with his cute little lesbian bob and introverted but brave and outspoken demeanor....#his mechanics and team in general are all tall men who love to pick him up#but god the plot is just so fun and compelling that it makes me sad that kinda driver doesnt exist irl#my greatest dream is for someone from the actual napoleon fandom to see this#bcs its weird enough for you guys so i cant even imagine what theyd think#BUT PLEASEEE#anyways. this is a very odd post. but im very proud of it :)#lmao this is just like one step closer to actually writing my proper manifesto about it#but yeah i posted that silly meme the other day and it got way more notes that i expected so maybe this will be appealing too?#girls who cannot draw normal fanart#<- like seriously i wont draw napoleon in his normal clothes and fernando vice versa but no prob with the reverse?? my brain...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#nandopoleon alonsoparte#napoleon bonaparte#napoleon#catie.art
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
123 notes
·
View notes
Text
10H I started in January before a logic virus got the drop on me
#nier#nier automata#nier reincarnation#10H#10h nier#I don’t remember my tags or if i have any#ive been trying to draw 10h since 2021 but she didn’t have a clear design out until the end of last year#or at least a design that i could find that wasn’t from the novels#it made me so happy because just from that one story i loved pod006 and 10H#im sad that reincarnation is ending. happy i wont have to log on anymore but sad i won’t be able to log on again#i also drew this when i was delirious so. I thought it was a waste if i didnt color the lineart i tried so hard to make#when my brain was slow cooking into mush
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was born in 1989, reinvented for the first time in 2014, and a part of me was reclaimed in 2023 with the re-release of this album I love so dearly…
It's been waiting for you.
1989 (Taylor's Version) | Oct. 27, 2023
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#tswiftgif#1989#1989 taylor's version#userelena#userleah#I said to myself 'make it 1989 but also make it lover aesthetic' when I opened photoshop lol#so I guess this is it ;'p#oh and one thing: the point of this series of TV gifsets of mine is to use newer contents to fit the old tracks but#I srsly DON'T KNOW WHAT TO USE on Is It Over Now? & Bad Blood remix#We don't have much since post-Lover era :/#sorry for the lack of punctuation on the song titles this font wont let me but I want neon fonts :(#my favorite vault track is “Slut!” it's hard to choose tho I love 'em all#at this point listening to Now That We Don't Talk and controlling my urge to get up and dance
265 notes
·
View notes
Text
#whump#whumpblr#whump community#polls#i love these specific polls lol but its actually kinda hard to come up with options#dont actually know if these are specific enough that most ppl wont chose more than one lmao but whatever#its several for me but thats how i picked the options#by having an account i mean specifically made for whump or interacting with the community#ive seen one other whump themed specific poll but most of the options there were about ocs and writing#so i wanted to try making one for the part of the community im most familiar with#ive had an account for 4+ years and liked it before age 10 and watched 5+ media for one actor#i did whumptober 4 consecutive times but only completed twice#and i watch some non-english media but not a lot compared to english media#anyway hope this is fun :)
282 notes
·
View notes
Text
please reblog this post with your favourite Jonas Quinn scenes/gifs bc I am in my feels about my canonically neurodivergent son
#stargate#stargate sg1#jonas quinn#especially the one where hes like 'i know its hard to tell but this man... is very upset' bc bb boy is Trying#and his fish#and his weather channel#i love him so much#make me cry over jonas today#(it wont be that difficult)
69 notes
·
View notes
Conversation
Leonardo: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and MC!
Literally anyone: So MC knows about this?
Leonardo, walking away: No, this is between me and me!
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp leo#ikevamp mc#AIGHT BUT NO CAP THAT'S LIKE HALF OF LEO'S RT#when i say this one makes me start chortling on sight IM NOT KIDDING#i will never get over how funny he is sometimes#like yes there's the tragic backstory and horrible childhood but#the inevitably hilarity of a grown man 400 yrs old yelling I WONT SUBJECT MYSELF TO THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING K N O W N#i love you leonardo. truly i do. now just follow this trail of cigarillos into this Totally Not A Therapist's Office--#its hard for me sometimes because he absolutely means well most of the time but#he always makes me think of that post of like#'thinking you need to sacrifice every second you're with a person isn't love. and i'm sorry for whatever made you feel like it was.'#leonardo: ask for help? ill Die First.#mc with a bat aimed at his head: first time for everything--
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry no art in a hot second... ive been really burnt out for a long time now and its been miserable, ive been looking for a normie job for ages so that i can make art something i do for myself again and i havent had much luck but.
i have good news now.
#YIPPEEEEEE#cant wait to see how this effects my relationship with my art#freelancing is hard. im excited to be creative for myself again#prince talks#ideally id want to work in the cartoon industry but its looking rough right now and im already having a hard enough time#but its never too late to try to achieve your dreams#so im just putting it on the backburner for now#have to take care of myself instead of being so worried about 'wasting my life' or whatever because its just making me miserable#LIFE HAS VALUE NO MATTER WHAT DAMMIT#oh btw i will still be taking comms i just wont be making it like.#my only source of income#bc that SUCKED.#i love doing comms. dont love how unstable it is
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
I adore the feeling absorbing a brilliant piece of art gives me. I fell raw, like I've been flayed, this connection I've felt to the work has ripped me open and left me vunerable. But I'm better for it. Like how insects are vunerable while molting, y'know
#I LOVE ART!!! I LOVE!!! CONNECTING WITH MYSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE!!!! THROUGH THE ABILITY TO CREATE!!! WOOOOAHHAHHAH!!!!!!#the rat speaks#this is about disco elysium specifically atm and that game has hit me particularly hard but this isnt the first#and wont be the last thing that makes me feel this way#and that thought excites me#i love!!! art!! and feeling!! and how they feed into each other !!! yay!!!!!!!
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
"He hurts you because he loves you" classic excuse for abuse, not an interesting angle to go at a story with, boring, annoying, makes me hate anyone who says this shit. "He loves you but he still hurt you" beautiful, amazing, empowering. Love is not a pure, good, flawless emotion, actions matter more than intent, and caring for someone doesn't mean you can't or won't hurt them, and in my opinion, it makes hurting them worse.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#bruce wayne#not directly dc but i was def thinking abt this mf when writing it#like im sorry but narratives abt someone acknowledging their parent was rough/hard on them growing up bc they cared or whatever do Nothing#for me#i have NEVER ONCE seen the concept of ''tough love'' used in any context outside of trying to justify abuse.#like fuck off w the robins going ''bruce is hard on you cus he wants you to do your best'' or whatever I ACTUALLY HATE ITTT#''but he loves her'' ah yes. the most classic fucking excuse for abuse and mistreatment.#i don't care if there is love!!! i dont care if actions come from a place of care and love if the actions are fucking horrific!!!!!#like in my opinion hurting someone you love is worse than hurting someone you hate#i dont care about your intentions if you caused real harm#uegh this is a topic i feel very strongly about bc the bullshit narrative of a character#forgiving someone for hurting them bc they learn they love/care is so prevalent and has never been done in a way#that doesnt make me seethe w fucking rage!!!#gaa >:(#anyway. narratives about acknowleding they loved you and cared for you and wanted the best for you#AND STILL HURT YOU are so good to me#you can hurt someone you love. loving someone doesnt mean you wont hurt them. and love is not an excuse to hurt others.#seems like such basic 101 understanding of the world but apparently not 😒
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
going crazy about an oc again. like it's my fault
#this is normal behaviour but i get SO pissed off when it's an oc i make for a fic#bc i only ever make fic ocs when their sole purpose is to symbolise something and/or move the plot#like believe it or not i really do try not to have ocs unless it's specifically for the greater good of the fic#so it's like. you are an object to me. you are a tool. WHY have you got your own playlist#cassie you are so. like she's demented she's haunted by a past that broke her she has tried to return three different times regardless#she's whimsical she's erratic she wants to love the world when she has only ever seen the worst sides of it#she found one person who respected her (didn't even treat her kindly. he just viewed her as an autonomous person. that was enough)#and she latched on and didnt let go and now we're here. she followed him to war. she never wanted to fight#she probably wont make it. what the fuck ever#dog teeth#there's another oc in dog teeth that drives me crazy too but his part is much more minimal#i REALLY went hard with dog teeth ocs like they are all so compelling and painful come ON#cass and sasaki u were real to me. im sorry
74 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
mikialtrinidad
Mikial Trinidad
viviamodisilenzi
Aria fredda
post-incarnate
Post_-Incarnate
2digitdiaphragm
TDD
ikasai
No idea xD