#thats dart. btw

[tillman]

All overwatch characters are also so boring their designs are so nothing. We should all go back to thinking about dart feld. Right now. Its dart time.

[sickfires]

right to repair

[dutchs-paisley-vest]

computer, get this guy some chapstick

[dinoserious]

baby dart n his older half sister jamie. he bit her immediately after this picture was taken when she tried to take his hand out of his mouth

these two had a particularly adversarial early childhood relationship, mostly coming down to a LOT of attention from their parents being focused on dart for his myriad infant medical issues. around the time this photo was taken that had mellowed out but the divide was already set and they did not get along for a LONG time

anyways theyre chill w each other as adults and meet up for lunch like every week or so. she goes by jay mostly

[motorsportbarbie13]

Post It - Part 3 - LN4

when lando stumbles upon a random tiktok of a pretty american influencer, he can't stop himself from sliding into her DMs. what happens next is more than both of them ever bargained for.

Part 1 Part 2 Master List

warnings: nothing. this entire series is going to be pretty fluffy so :) I do say the word ‘papaya’ a concerning amount though 😂 (a note: as per usual, kudos to @lestapiastrisgirl for always answering my 2am ‘SO HEAR ME OUT’s and ‘BUT WHAT IF WE’s’ ❤️) pairing: lando norris x influencer!reader word count: 3.7k

story replies: lando lord have MERCY >>>yourusername 🤭 hannahstjohn god we're cute >>>yourusername <3 thank you for being there for me, my love. >>>hannahstjohn i'm so happy you're happy and you are gloooowing today, btw >>>yourusername i've got butterflies han! HE gives me butterflies and i have no idea what i'm doing but oh my god. >>>hannahstjohn thats how it felt with liam. it happened quick but it happed hard >>>yourusername i'm in so much trouble >>>hannahstjohn :)))

The morning of the sprit race starts off almost identically as the day before: you and Hannah arriving at the track together an hour or so behind Liam, the noise and crowds of the paddock overwhelming you once again the moment you scan your badge at the gate. 

“All I’m saying is, I’m quite impressed with him. I didn’t know Lando could be such a…gentleman.” Her eyes sparkle with mischief, tone teasing you. 

You shoot her a look, already regretting the fact that you had told how how last night had ended. “He was nervous, okay?” You say with a laugh, closing your eyes as you shake your head. 

The chemistry between you two had been undeniable during dinner and after, he had offered to walk you back to your room. Tension sparked in the elevator as you waited for Lando to make a move. His shoulder brushed yours, fingertips barely grazing your lower back when the doors slid open to allow you off at your floor. You had propped yourself up against the door, room key dangling from your fingers as you looked up at him. 

‘Thank you for dinner’ You had murmured, fluttering your lashes at him in hopes he got the message. 

‘Of course.’ Had been his response as he palmed the back of his neck, shifting his weight as his eyes darted between your lips and back up to meet your gaze. For a moment you had thought he was going to actually kiss you and as he leaned in, your breath hitched in the back of your throat, anticipation buzzing through your veins. 

At the last moment, Lando moved his lips and grazed your cheek instead. The touch had been light, almost tentative, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to be so close to you. You barely bit back the whine in your throat when he pulled away to look at you again. ‘I’ll have McLaren passes waiting for you at the front desk tomorrow morning, okay?” 

You had nodded, brain trying to process what had just not happened. “Okay.” You replied weakly, the spot where his lips had touched your skin burning. 

“Text me when you get to the paddock and I’ll come meet you. Get some sleep, pretty girl.” 

And with that, he had turned around and walked back towards the elevator. 

You had spent the rest of the night analyzing everything with Hannah, trying to figure out what had been going through his head in that moment. 

“I had no idea Lando Norris knew how to be nervous.” Hannah chuckles as you walk through the paddock. You chuckle in response but you know better. The Lando you knew, that Lando was totally different from his public persona. He was quiet and anxious and seemed to get into his head too easily. But that was a side of Lando you were beginning to realize that he didn’t show just anyone and that made you feel all the more special. 

30 feet in front of you, the McLaren hospitality building looms, first in the paddock as a result of their Constructors Championship last year. You spot a certain curly haired Brit leaning against the railing, eyes scanning the crowd underneath a pair of dark sunglasses. Your stomach flips when he raises the glasses, light blue eyes catching your gaze as a half-smile hitches at the corner of his mouth. 

“Oh, he’s so down bad for you.” Hannah murmurs at your side and you elbow her with a laugh. “I still can’t believe you’re abandoning me for the enemy. Liam is devastated.” 

You chuckle, picking up your pace to get to Lando quicker. When you had met Hannah in the lobby this morning, you had asked if she was okay with you spending the day at McLaren. Much to your surprise, Hannah had encouraged you to go. She had seen how Lando had looked at you yesterday, had heard the way you talked about him when you called her for a post-dinner debrief. 

“I think Liam will survive. He’s probably thankful even that he doesn’t have to deal with the pair of us this morning.” 

“You’re probably right.” Hannah agrees just as you two reach McLaren’s hospitality. 

Lando’s been watching you approach for the last several minutes from his perch at the top of the ramp of the large orange building. He still can’t believe he chickened out last night, abandoning his plan for a juvenile kiss on the lips. The truth was, he had been so anxious that he was going to mess this up that he hadn’t wanted to push you to a place where you were uncomfortable. He hadn’t wanted to blow this second chance you had just given him so when it came down to it, a peck on the cheek had seemed the only right thing to do. 

He watches you and Hannah chat, the laugh that spills out of your lips when you get closer sending fiery pleasure skittering over his skin. 

“Morning, Lan.” You singsong, watching at he bounds down the ramp to join you and Hannah on the sidewalk. 

“What are you wearing?” He asks so abruptly for a moment you just blink at him. 

“Okay, so like, let’s agree to never start off a conversation with that ever again, yeah?” 

Beside you, Hannah huffs a laugh. 

Lando rolls his eyes, “You can’t wear navy in my garage!” He protests as if you’re the one missing the point. 

“Lando.” You deadpan, “I think this is the only bit of orange clothing I even own! You’re lucky I just happened to have this in my suitcase!” 

“It’s papaya!” He says with an exaggerated sigh. 

“This shirt has papaya in it!” You point to the thin stripes of orange…papaya…that the predominately navy tank top has all over it. 

Lando frowns before shaking his head. “It’s not enough.” He declares before reaching for your hand. “Come on, we need to fix this before I can take you anywhere.” 

You make an indignant sound as he drags you away from where Hannah stands laughing. “I guess I’ll text you later, H!” You shout over your shoulder. 

“Come to Red Bull for lunch!” She calls after you. 

“She’s eating lunch with me!” Lando yells before dragging you through the sliding glass doors of McLaren’s hospitality. 

You hear the echos of Hannah’s laughter as the doors whisper shut behind you. “Okay, that was rude! I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her!” 

Lando just shrugs, not letting go of your hand, as he pulls you towards a set of stairs just inside the double doors. “We have more important things to take care of and I have to be in the car in a bit.” 

“You are so dramatic.” You huff. 

When Lando doesn’t respond, you take a moment to glance around the first floor of the building he’s dragging you through. There are McLaren employees, all dressed in various amounts of papaya and black, bustling through the space. Some sit at sleek black high top tables, tapping away on computers or eating a snack before they’re pulled to another task. There’s a food counter tucked away in the other corner, laden down with breakfast and lunch foods. On the opposite side are several doors that lead to what you assume are team offices. 

You follow Lando up the stairs, trying to ignore the sideways glances you two are attracting as you quickly walk through the space. There’s several sets of doors on the landing and he pulls you towards an open one with his name tacked up on the wall just outside of it. 

Lando’s drivers room is small, with just enough room for a couch, massage table, and small desk. Light spills in through the three floor to ceiling windows that face out towards the back of the paddock, making the entire space bright and well lit. Lando shuts the door behind him before dropping your hand in favor of opening a closet that’s tucked away in the corner. He digs around for a few moments, mumbling something about how he just knows you’re going to look so good in papaya. 

Finding what he was apparently looking for, he crosses the room to where you stand, arms folded across your chest. “Take that off.” He tugs at your navy cardigan you had grabbed to keep the chill of the morning air off your skin. 

“Lando!” You scold, swatting his arm away when he continues to try to undress you. “At least kiss me before you try to get me naked.” 

The driver freezes, eyes flying up to yours before a smirk pulls at the corner of his lips. “Cheeky.” He murmurs before allowing you to remove the cardigan yourself. 

Tossing the cardigan across the room, Lando pulls a papaya colored hoodie over your head. The first thing you notice is how soft and warm the sweatshirt is but the second thing? The second thing you notice is how is smells. Lando’s cologne, the same woodsy scent that had kept you up last night as it clung to your clothes after your dinner with him. The earthy scent of cedar and something citrusy filled your nose and you can’t help but inhale deeply. 

“Wait, is this the hoodie you wore into the paddock this morning?” 

Lando looks at you like you couldn’t have asked a more obvious question. “Of course?” 

“So people will know it’s yours when they see me in it…” 

Again, Lando gives you a look that seems to say ‘duh, silly girl’. “Exactly. That’s kind of the point, so people know who you belong to.”  

“Belong to?” You arch a brow, managing to keep the tone light even though you suddenly can’t feel your toes. 

“Yep.” He says simply before dropping a kiss onto the tip of your nose. 

The blush that flashes across your cheeks has Lando smirking down at you. His stomach swoops a little at the the way it feels having you standing there in his drivers room wearing his clothing. The possessive streak that winds it’s way through his veins at the sight of you catches him off guard. He’d never really considered himself territorial when it came to relationships but something about the sight of you in his hoodie he had just taken off had his heart pounding.  

Lando’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he’s pulled away for a moment. While he talks to his performance coach on the phone, you wander over to where your purse sits on the small black leather couch. Your stomach rumbles a bit, reminding you that both Hannah and you had been running so late this morning you’d had to skip breakfast. 

You sink down into the soft couch, pulling out the fruit you’d snagged from the hotel’s grab and go store. Popping open the lid, you stab at a bit of fruit before popping it in your mouth. You’re distracted for a moment, feeling the couch dip beside you as Lando sits down. “Did you bring snacks?” He asks, tugging you towards him so your shoulders are pressed up against each other.

“I brought myself breakfast. I slept in past my alarm this morning because someone wouldn’t stop texting me last night and kept me up past my bedtime so I didn't have time to eat.” 

Lando smirks, enjoying the way you sass him. “I managed to get here on time, my love.” 

You narrow your eyes at him playfully before you take another bite of your breakfast. “Whatever. I’m not sharing.” 

Lando frowns. “Who even said I wanted any of your gross fruit anyway. What even is that…It’s too dark to be a mango.” 

Your grin widens as you realize he has no idea what’s in the cup in your hands. “Lando, it’s a papaya.” 

yourusername posted

yourusername hiya papaya hannahstjohn enemy territory >>>lando joint custody >>>hannahstjohn as long as you pay child support >>>yourusername i can see the calendar invite now: PR meeting with McLaren, 9am Monday >>>lando hahaha fuck off >>>yourusername meetings been moved up to 2pm TODAY!!! >>>user2010 guys, i fear she is hilarious and i am in love user222 wasn't she in red bull yesterday??? >>>user239 this girl is getting around the paddock, isn't she??? jfc user029 the adhd hyperfixation crossover i never knew i needed >>>user483 why did this speak to me on a spiritual level?

The elevator dings, signaling it’s arrival to your floor later that night. Lando had insisted on walking you back to your room after you’d finished dinner with Carlos and Rebecca in the hotel restaurant. 

“Did you have a good time today?” Lando asks quietly, the exhaustion from the activity of the day edging into his voice as you both walk slowly down the empty hallway. 

“I mean, I got to see you make a wild pass on the very last lap to steal the win away from that Ferrari, didn’t I?” You say, bumping your shoulder against his. Grinning, your memory flickers back to the way the garage had exploded when he had dove into the corner with millimeters to spare. You hand’t anticipated how electrifying it would be to watch Lando win but it was an experience you knew you’d never forget. 

Lando’s fingers brush the small of your back as you reach your hotel room. It takes a brief moment for you to find your key and when you turn around to face him fully, you’re surprised at the hungry look in his eyes. 

“That was pretty good, wasn’t it?” He asks, the cocky grin on his face grows as you lean back into the wall, looking up at him through your lashes. 

“Now all I need is to see you take a champagne shower tomorrow and the weekend will be complete.” 

Your heart pounds when Lando leans in closer, so close that you can feel the heat of his breath fan out over your cheek. His cologne distracts you, that same woody and citrus smell digging its way under your skin so you’ll forever associate it with him. 

“Is that so?” He murmurs. 

“Yep.” You manage to whisper, trying desperately hard not to give away how flustered he’s got you. 

“Speaking of tomorrow, did you know that I’m a very superstitious person?” Lando shifts almost imperceptibly closer to you.

Your cheeks heat as you struggle to focus on the words that are coming out of his mouth instead of his lips that are so full that you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like being kissed by them. “Is that so?”

Your voice is so embarrassingly breathy Lando nearly laughs. He’s enjoying watching you squirm under the heat of his gaze.

“Mmmhmm” He hums, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip.  

Your brain scrambles to keep up. “So, how can I help you with that, sir?” 

The flare in Lando’s eyes at your words is near feral. He catches his bottom lip between his teeth and reaches up a hand to turn his black McLaren hat around so the bill is facing backwards. Your knees nearly buckle at the move and you swear you whimper when he braces his arm against the wall, his palm settling inches away from your head. His other hand rests heavily on your hip, squeezing at the flesh there. 

“Sir?” He growls. “Oh I like that.” You blink up at him, suddenly unable to form coherent words. Lando’s lips curl into a satisfied grin. “We’ll come back to that little bit later, though. Let’s discuss how you can help. I’m going to need you in my garage tomorrow because again, superstitious. You’re probably the reason I won today, after all.” 

“Oh? I didn’t know I had that kind of effect on you.” You finally find the words to tease back. 

Lando shifts his weight towards you then, pressing his hips into your body. You feel his unmistakable hardness digging into you, your pupils blowing wide. 

“You have no idea what kind of effect you have on me.” He murmurs into the soft skin at your neck. “Come on, I need my good luck charm cheering me on. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for messing up what could be my first big win of the season, now would you?” 

All you can do is shake your head, once again fully lost to the way Lando is looking at you, breathing on you, pressing his entire length into your belly. It’s a surprise you’ve maintained the ability to stand, really. 

“Come on, baby please? Drive with me to the track tomorrow. Spend the day with me.” 

You almost laugh at the absurdity of his request. Drive with Lando to the track where you would most certainly be photographed arriving with him? Spend the day with him? Give the photographers more opportunities to connect you two? 

“Do you want to cause chaos?” You say, laughter edging its way into your voice. 

“With you? Always.” 

The air sparks between you, thick and heavy with the tension that’d been building since the moment he put his hand on your thigh while he drove you back to the hotel earlier. Lando’s eyes, usually bright and playfully shifted into something darker, something hungrier that had you swallowing thickly. The playful banter that you’d been batting back and forth all day had shifted in the last few moments, the undercurrent of tension now a physical force you could feel pressing against your chest. 

“You’re crazy.” You shake your head, eyes darting away from Lando’s down towards his lips. 

Lando sees where you’re looking and catches his bottom lip between his teeth, smirk growing even wider. He lowers his head, breath warm against your lips. “Crazy about how you’re looking at me right now.” He rasps, voice husky and low. 

The world narrows, the hallway fading into a blur of black and white as his lips finally meet yours. It’s soft at first, tentative and gentle like he’s taking his time with you, savoring the way you feel against him. After a moment though, the dam breaks and Lando tilts his head to deepen the kiss. He drags his hand away from your hip up to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair as he yanks you closer. 

You melt against him, your own hands finding their way to his chest, feeling the solid warmth beneath his shirt. The kiss was everything you’d been thinking about since the moment you met him, a fusion of sweetness and heat, a delicious blend of anticipation and raw desire. 

Lando pulls back slightly, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His eyes, still stormy with passion, searched yours. “Fuck.” He whispers before dragging his mouth down the column of your throat. You tilt your head back to give him better access, a desperate whine spilling from your lips. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” Lando says against the crook of your neck. 

A shiver runs down your spine at his words. Lips still tingling, you struggle to catch your breath and slow your pounding heart as it hammers out a frantic rhythm against your ribcage. 

Lando lifts his head up to look at you. The intensity of his gaze has you clutching at the fabric of his white button down. “Can I kiss you again?” He murmurs. 

“Please.” You beg. 

Lando’s eyes flare, pupils going wide. “Good girl.” 

It’s a miracle you stay on your feet. 

He closes the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a desperate, hungry kiss. This time, there’s no hesitation, no restraint. He doesn’t hold back as he covers your lips with his, nipping at the your bottom lip just hard enough to elicit a gasp from you. The kiss deepens even further, a connection that runs deeper than either of you had anticipated sparking to life. 

The world outside the hallway ceases to exist. Someone could have come running past shouting about a fire and neither of you would have reacted. The only thing you feel is Lando’s lips on yours, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the intoxicating scent of his cologne filling your senses. It felt like a moment suspended in time, a stolen moment of pure passion that deepens the already growing connection you shared with him. 

You have no idea how long Lando spends kissing you but when he pulls back, you lift your hands to your lips, feeling how swollen they’ve become from how good he’s worked you over. 

“I should go before I can’t anymore.” Lando says, eyes full of hesitation like he doesn’t really believe what he’s saying. 

“You could stay.” You whisper, reaching out to trail your fingers down his jaw. He leans into the palm of your hand, kissing the warm skin there before he shakes his head. 

“I could, but I won’t.” 

Disappointment surges through you so sharply a whine escapes before you can control yourself. 

Lando chuckles while he runs his fingers through your hair. “I said no more flings and I meant it. I’m going to do this the right way this time and that means turning around and walking away before I throw you over my shoulder and open that fucking door myself.” 

Lando was seriously impressed with the amount of restraint he was showing right now. He’d been thinking of this, of the moment he finally got to touch you, taste you, feel you against him, since the moment he ran into you in the paddock yesterday. When you two had started talking and getting to know each other, he’d been attracted to your personality, the way you had such a passion for life, the way you never felt anything halfway or lightly. But now that he was here with you, had you physically within his reach, the way his skin tingled whenever you were nearby was a feeling he’d never experienced before and he was obsessed. 

You can’t help the frown that forms on your face and Lando leans down to kiss it away. “So you don’t want…” You say against his lips. 

Lando shakes his head, pulling away. “No, baby. I do. Very much, trust me. I just…” He rakes his hand through his curls, trying to find the right words, the vulnerability you’re pulling from him is unsettling but not all that unwelcome either. “I just don’t want to rush this. This isn’t a stolen weekend for me. I want to take my time with you, okay?” 

Your heart thuds at his words, thankful that you’re not the only one feeling this way. After a beat you finally find your voice. “Okay.” 

Lando smiles before dropping a kiss onto your forehead while he holds onto your chin. “Good. Get some sleep, I’ll text you when I figure out what time we have to leave tomorrow morning for the track, okay?” 

It’s all you can do to nod in agreement before you watch Lando turn on his heel and walk towards the elevator. 

f1.gossip.source posted

f1.gossip.source new couple alert???? @/lando and @/yourusername were spotted arriving at the track together ahead of sunday's grand prix. They've been spotted together frequently this weekend with the American influencer spending a second day in McLaren's garage cheering on the British driver. They were also spotted late last night on what looked to be a double date with Carlos Sainz and his partner Rebecca. I think this is all the confirmation we need that Norris is officially DONE with once rumored fling and british model @/its_allegra_babes user999 ohhhh this is juicy user919 @/its_allegra_babes uh...so what was that hint about going to Monaco for the off week??? >>>user111 looks like she's gonna be alone in Monaco...or third wheeling it. hahahahah >>>user928 HAHA seriously. where are the 'private but not secret' people now? SEE he does know how to claim a girl in public >>>user992 he hasn't claimed her either??? until that man says the words 'my girlfriend' they're all clout chasing wannabes... user333 NAH because i have NEVER seen this man look that happy when he's with allegra tho. >>>user832 i'm here for the race and have paddock club tickets. i saw them eating lunch before the race and BOY let me tell you. that man is not thinking about anyone but @/yourusername

tag list:

@shelbyteller, @martygraciesversion381, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @linnygirl09 @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream @daemyratwst @dramaticpiratellamas @mochimommy2002 @llando4norris @iamaunknownsecret @maxivstappen @imlonelydontsendhelp @nina-or-anna-or-nora @a1leexxa @littlegrapejuice @sunflowervol18 @freyathehuntress @finn-dot-com @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @chirasama @lauralarsen @dr3wstarkey @saskiaalonso @rbv3rstappen @ilovechickenwings @guaaafiiburg @mcmuppet @mindless-rock @piastri-fvx @mel164 @schumi-angel @myescapefromthislife @supertrashbread @sunny44 @tinystudentblaze-stuff @sarx164

[runwiththerain]

btw... if you think you can stop 🚫 the symmetry thats FALSE ❌ g team is dialing 📞 for help but im ignoring their calls 😈 and when their bodies 🧍dissolve ����🫠🫠 you know that false is on a KILLING SPREE ‼️ try to stop my pvp ⚔️ and PERISH PAINFULLY 💀 im the queen 👑 of hearts ❤️ heads 😶 and body parts 💪 your diamond 💎 armour cant compare to my martial arts 💥 ill send a poison dart 🎯to make your breathe your FINAL breath 🪦 g teams name will be the only thing left ‼️‼️‼️

[ctrlchar]

HI POOKUMS!!

COULD I REQUEST A JAKE X F READER SMUT?😽

BASICALLY IM THINKING READER AND JAKE HAVE HAD A PRANK WARS GOING ON FOR A WHILE, THE READER THEN ENDS UP PRANKING HIM WITH VIAGRA PILLS (OR ANY OTHER PILLS THAT JUST MAKE YOU CRAZY HORNY)

IMAGINE JAKE HAVING TO LIKE GO FILM OR GO OUT WITH YOU AND SOME FRIENDS LIKE JOHNNIE OR SOMETHING AND PRETEND LIKE HES NOT ROCK HARD, MORE TURNED ON THAN EVER 🙏

IM REALLY NOT PICKY SO YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUD LIKE HOW ITS GONNA CONTINUE, BUT THE ONLY THING ID PREFER YOU EXCLUDE IS BREEDING KINK IF THATS OKAY🙏

I HOPE YOURE DOING OKAY POOKUMS!!🥰 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR WRITING BTW!!

speed it down then slow it up

a/n:this might just be my favorite request yet tbh so sorry it took this long i’ve been busy lately but i’ll get back to posting regularly soon🙏

also title is from bubble pop electric ‼️

this prank war which jake had of course started had been going on for a eternity. at the moment,he had the upper hand therefore you just had to go all out.

the two of you had mentioned trying some aphrodisiacs a couple times but never fully went through with it. that was until today,when you, jake and johnnie had to record a video inside of a store.

you walked around recording the two boys occasionally passing the camera along to one of them as you waited for the viagra jake had taken to kick in.

you had worn a shirt that showed off a bit of your cleavage but not too much as well as your favorite bottoms

you had been talking to the camera while admiring the items around you until johnnie stopped recording, before practically scolding jake

“hey jake,i get that you may have a girlfriend but i’m trying to shoot a video here and i’d strongly appreciate it if you didn’t stare at her fucking tits the whole video” he says ending it with a sarcastic smile making you laugh

“hm?” he says looking up at you with a somewhat dazed look

you and johnnie let out a laugh at his reaction before eventually forgetting about it and going back to what you were doing

the video continued on as Jake tried his very best to conceal the large boner that has been forming in his pants over the past while, his hands glued to his pockets

he wondered as to why he could barely control himself but that thought went out the window as soon as you had dropped something and bent over to pick it up

he almost let out a small groan at the sight before he concealed it,remembering where he is

johnnie,who was busy looking at some item in the store was oblivious to jake who was practically looking down at you your ass with puppy dog eyes as you stood up

your eyes meet jake’s before they then notice the large print in his pants which you could’ve sworn looked at you first

“please baby don’t leave me like this” he whines in reference to his very prominent boner which you feel as he wraps his arms around your waist,checking to make sure no one else was in the isle

you weigh your options,because if you do help him then you’ll obviously loose the prank war because of your own prank but at the same time you and him wanted it just as bad,he just couldn’t hide it

“come on,you know you wanna help me” he whispers in your ear while he leaves a few small kisses along your neck,with his hard cock pressing right against your ass

this prompts you to quickly go and tell johnnie you and jake were “going to look at something” in the store before darting off to find the nearest bathroom.

as you walked away from johnnie you had a slight skip in your step while you and jake quickly entered the bathroom in hopes no one would see you.

jake instantly forced his hands up your tight fitting shirt groping at your tits before attacking your neck with wet,and sloppy kisses.

“jakey-baby you know I love it when you kiss me there but we don’t have a lot of time” you say in between breaths as he kissed your neck before halting his actions

he agrees but not without a groan and a plea on his end.

and before you know it your pressed against the cold wall with jake sliding the head of his cock inside of you.

with a sharp inhale jake was now fully inside of you,his hands holding onto you tightly as he says a quiet “you feel so good ‘round me” before beginning his assault on your cunt

you slapped a hand over his mouth knowing how loud he gets and as you expected his moans get louder while his strong arms hoisted you and held you against the bathroom stall. and just by how franticly he was thrusting into you, you could tell just how badly he needed you

you rested your head in the crook of his neck whimpering like crazy whenever he would thrust right against your cervix

“fuck- i’m gonna-” he groaned,his fingernails digging into your thighs as he came deep inside you. his hips continuing faster then they had before while his mouth connected with yours to muffle his moans

with his thrusts not faltering,his deep groans and grunts turned more into whimpers and moans when he continued to fuck his cum out of you as the two of you tried your best to stay quiet.

“don’t know how you expect me to stay quiet” he whines with a thrust. “not when she’s squeezing me this good-fuck” he moans out feeling close once again

you then pull him into a passionate kiss, wrapping your arms around him, one of your hands creeping up and gripping his hair. the two of you moaned into the kiss,jakes pace slowing down,the tip of his cock still brushing right against your cervix

you pulled back,with your hands still placed around him “jakey i’m gonna cum” you’d whine out. this then makes jake thrust even harder then before trying to get you to reach the peak he gets you too so well

you bite your lip, and surprisingly don’t draw blood, while you and Jake try your best to keep quiet. once again,you pull him into a kiss to stifle his and your moans as he fucks you through your orgasm.

after a few moments,he pulls out and the two of you put your clothes back on before jake stops.

“uhm babe,i know we just fucked but i’m still uh-“ he stutters too embarrassed to tell you. cocking a brow you question him to which you shortly get an answer when you look down and noticed the tent that was still pitched in his pants

[slasherx]

Hey again, congratulations on getting a 94%, hope you do well on the other one!

Idk if I requested this because I have horrible memory but can you do a Thomas hewitt x pregnant s/o smut, like I'm feeling it rn

If I already did request this just ignore this one

Hey again Diablo (hope you don't mind me calling you that), I was hoping for another one of your requests :3 No, you haven't requested this yet. I will have you know though (and anyone else reading who cares about this) I passed my other final!

Content: Thomas Hewitt x fem!Reader

Warnings: This is smut, so 18+. Minors, DNI. Reader is pregnant.

Notes: You already know about the GIF, hehe... btw Katherine is the name of the tea lady for me. The actresses name was Kathy so I thought something close would be good.

• ───────────────── •

When you initially got pregnant, most of the house was ecstatic. Hoyt went on and on about continuing the family line, Luda Mae was excited to finally have grandbabies, and Thomas was excited to be a father. Monty was the only one who complained about the presence of a baby.

Even Katherine and Henrietta were excited for you and Thomas. But nobody was more excited than Thomas. Even before you began to show, he was touching your stomach every chance he got. He couldn't believe that all those nights led to a baby finally being put in your stomach.

It made him hard most nights to know that his seed was growing inside of you. and thats how he got between your legs this very night, making you whimper and moan for him just like how he used to before you got pregnant.

He was scared leading up to this, not wanting to hurt the baby, but he just couldn't keep his hands off of you for nine months. So here you sit, at the edge of your shared bed, six months pregnant with his child and he's using his tongue to warm you up for his cock.

His tongue darted across your slit before sliding in, squirming around and wetting your insides just nice for him, as if they weren't wet enough. He held your legs against his head, encouraging you to squeeze him between your thighs. His cock jumped at the loud moan that fell from your lips as he moved to suck on your clit.

You grabbed his hair as he sucked hard on your clit, tugging on him slightly. "Thomas, Thomas please...just fuck me. I'm ready."

Tommy looked up at you with the same uncertainty he gave you on your first night together. His tongue slid over your clit one more time before he stood up. He gently began to move you onto your knees, ass up and face down.

"Please, Tommy...don't be gentle. I can handle it." You pleaded, wiggling your ass at him.

Tommy felt his cock jump again and his pants were off in an instant. Lining up to his favorite hole - your pussy - he began to push in. He let out a loud groan as he finally sunk in. It had been a few months since he last fucked you. He missed this so much. He missed you.

He grabbed your hips and saw how his dick disappeared inside of you, and finally how your ass looked pressed flush to his groin. And suddenly, all sense of gentleness went out the window.

He pulled all the way back until just the tip was in, then he slammed back inside of you and knocked the air out of your lungs. You didn't get any time to breathe as Thomas steadily pounded into you.

You could feel how your pussy clenched around him, seemingly making him bigger as you clamped down. You moaned into the pillow you grabbed, trying to quiet the noise and be considerate of the other people in this house. Thomas however, had other plans.

He reached forward and grabbed your hair, pulling your head up so you can freely moan into the air. Clapping sounds could be heard throughout the room, along with the squelching sounds of your pussy sliding along his cock.

Your back was perfectly arched so your ass was at its juciest point, and Tommy reared his hand back to slap it. You yelped at the sting, but your body continued to be jostled by his quick thrusts. You could barely keep up with him.

"To-Tommy please, slow dow-w-w-n..." You moaned, drool beginning to pile up at the corners of your mouth.

Thomas refused, grabbing the meat of your thigh and pounding further into you, sending you forwards. He let go of your hair, allowing you to drop into the pillow. With all the wieght and rocking, your arms were beginning to grow tired. Before you knew it, your arms had given out and you landed on your stomach.

Tommy grabbed your legs and flipped you on your side, one leg thrown over his shoulder. He fucked back into you, feeling his orgasm rise. He grunted and used his thumb to rub at your clit, making sure to press hard so you really feel the friction.

You moaned loudly at the pressure against your clit, feeling the familiar coil in your stomach form. "Tommy, oh Tommy, I'm gonna cum...!"

He grunted desperately to let you know he was going to cum too. After a few more harsh thrusts, he began to cum inside of you. He rubbed your clit furiously, allowing you to cum with him. You moaned loudly into the pillow, feeling your body wracked with pleasure, pulsating around your husbands cock.

Tommy slowly pulled out, and pulled his pants back up. He turned to his wardrobe and lifted up a few shirts to show a stolen wash cloth. He turns around and uses it to gently wipe you up, both of your cum being wiped up. Normally he'd finger it back into you, but he didn't think that should happen with his baby inside of you.

After discarding the wash cloth on the floor to be washed later, he climbed into the bed with you and pulled you close, kissing your forehead. You leaned up and kissed him on the lips, the mask scratching your face. He put a hand on your stomach and whimpered slightly.

"The baby is okay, honey, and so am I. I promise." You smiled at him, hair a mess and drool pooling at the corner of your mouth.

Tommy wiped away the drool from your face and pet your hair, bringing your face to his neck. He loved you, he loved your baby, and he knew you loved him too. As you slowly began to drift off to sleep, Tommy's gaze remained on you, his heart fixated on all the love he built over the years, and all the love that is to come.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

[girldriveroscar]

throws dart at board

mark going round for drinks w all the commentators/random older personnel, jenson, ruth, DC etc and bringing along oscar as a Get To Know the kid im managing thing

and mark gets a few beers in, just enough to shake his joints loose, starting up on this tirade about how impressive oscars test times were, insert “I only knew I wasn't good enough to win championships when I met Oscar” grabbing a timidly sober oscar around the neck and jostling him around like this guys a world champion, ive got my money on it and vettel has got nothing on my kids temper. no ones gonna see him coming dragging it on and on

and oscars totally reveling in the feeling of marks eyes on him, the pride mark has showing off oscar like his new toy. calling him my boy, my champion my my my blah blah

and dc is cooing about what a cute couple they are, mocking mark for sounding(being) totally obsessed. marks all like aw cmon now cant i have some fun its been 10 years since i’ve been this sure about something, and jensons getting in on it now because how could he miss that set up, ah thats why the missus had to up and go huh?

and its not a sore subject so mark laughs and tells them they’ll eat their words when oscars on the top step. oscars face is bright bright red as he sips his beer, barely even a third drunken.

and eventually mark puts himself together, calls it a night on about cant be a champion without your 8 hours sleeping beauty, and the two of them take off in marks 911. mark brings oscar back to his, throwing him an old self-branded WEBBER jersey and sleep shorts wishing him a nighty-night!

and while oscar soaks the collar of the jersey with his spit attempting to mute the sounds spilling out of him in marks guest room, mark gets a text from jenson simply reading, the kid wants to fuck you btw dont be an idiot about that and mark huffs out a breath, muting his phone and promptly passing out.

[dogsstew]

Watched Scream again for the 17th billionth trillionth time and I wanted to share these snippets

1) All of the grapes they either threw at each other or when Randy missed his mouth trying to catch them. (He reaches down and grabs one from the ground to eat those dirty ass grapes right before this scene cut btw)

2) Billys flannel. We sure do love ‘em. Slight continuity error with the scene that immediately follows but that’s okay because-

3) There it is in Stu’s room! Nice! All his dumb clothes hanging over the side of Stu’s bed…. Nothing weird there. Especially not after he hangs it over the other bed post after…. That scene. And they’re hung over Stu’s bed just like…. I won’t say.

Edit: I figured out it was a Green Jelly poster (they have one at the video store scene) and a 2Pac poster.

4) Cute posters in Stu’s room. If you blink you’ll miss them. Cool Thrasher sticker and a poster of a faceless woman with a dart in her next to his bed. He covered her face with another Thrasher sticker.

(His ass DOES NOT SKATE)

Thats all thank u :)

[azes-ocean]

please could you do a headcannons/small fic on how its like to spend Christmas with yuji itadori and/or xiao??

𝔘𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔐𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔢

Xiao and Yuji Itadori (seperate) x gn reader, Christmas fic, canon verse, with some fanon silliness :3 An: Ofc 🫶 Kinda short because ✨classes✨ Hope its still enjoyable though! Warnings: None except it wasn't reread or proofread (most daily fics won't be :) ) Pure fluff LETS GET THE CHRISTMAS COUNT DOWN OUT BTW! 23 Days Until Christmas!!! 🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🎄🎄🎄✨✨🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎊🎊

𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸 As Christmas approached, it became colder and colder in the nation of Liyue, making hot meals much more recommended for the weather. "Almond Tofu is NOT a food you should be eating right now! Especially in the middle of nowhere!" You huffed to the adepti sitting infront of you, perched atop a rock and eating one of the only 'tolerable' food items to his picky taste. "I can't get colds." Xiao nonchalantly replied, continuing to munch on his food, taking small bites of his food between words. Though, his small shivers didn't go unnoticed by you. Rolling your eyes, you jumped up to sit beside him, the scene of Liyue wrapped in holiday joy and festivities below you. "Thats not the point...the point is that it's Christmas...! Try some hot chocolate, please?" You begged, pouting. "No." "You don't love me..." You lamented dramatically, pouting. Sadly, even if you were clearly joking, Xiao seemed to waver at that, frowning. "Fine. Your finishing if I won't though." He finally sighed, giving in to your cute irritating pleads. - - That's how you were both here, sitting in Wanmin restaurant, utterly devouring the special holiday menu as Xiao stared suspiciously at his turkey slices, poking it with a fork as it would become the Walking Chicken and attack him. It was...cute. Xiao finally looked up at your expectant stare, glaring for a while then finally taking a bite of his food. Whilst he didn't light up or anything, you caught how he was suddenly eating the turkey without protest. "See? I told you you'd like it." "Yes." Xiao said simply, continuing to eat. "We should do this more!" You happily announce, grinning happily at him, "Then your palette would be wider." You turned your head to the snowy sky, the ghost of your smile still on your face. Honestly, you'd look forward to Christmas more if it was with Xiao. But for Xiao, he'd know the date of this human holiday, just for you. 𝓨𝓾𝓳𝓲 𝓘𝓽𝓪𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓲 This was not fair at ALL. Yuji had everything prepared. He had cooked Bifteki for the both of you, made a deal with Sukuna to let him off for the day AND finished all his missions early (Who the hell gives missions on a holiday anyway?) But ofcourse you had an emergency mission that he had reluctantly agreed to come along to, messing up his plans for the both of you. How cruel... Yuji ran through the halls of the abandoned building, panicking. The last he had scene of you had been your figure being whisked by a shadow. His heart pounded in his ribcage, threatening to escape as he called your name. After five minutes of nothing, your voice yelled back, "Yuji! Here! Help!" He didn't hesitate to turn and dart there with super human speed, not stopping once to catch his breath. Finally, he reached a large wooden door, opening it and panting, he was about to call you name again until he felt a force tackle him down to the ground. He was about to punch whatever it was until he realized it was you. "Y/n-!" "Merry Christmas!!!" You happily say, hugging his chest. Just now he realized Megumi and Nobara were standing behind you, both having and amused look. "Gojo-sensei and the rest will arrive here soon. Y/n, I suggest you do it already." Yuji was just switching his gaze in confusion, still unsure of what to think of the situation. You smile at Yuji and hand him a Christmas present box, dramatically kneeling on one knee. Yuji stared, "W-wha-" "Your quite an idiot right now, Yuji Itadori. But I am asking you-please be my idiot. And if you didn't get that, I'm asking you to be my boyfriend." You declare, smiling. You stopped any doubt in your mind-trying to convince yourself he wouldn't reject you...right? The tension in the air was quickly cut when Yuji tackled you into a hug, making you erupt into a fit of laughter, wrapping your arms around him and sighing contentedly. For both of you, it was the best Christmas gift you could get. AN: Requests still open! I'm hoping to make fics kinda like a Christmas countdown, so feel free to request! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

[unfinishedficideas]

(btw this was based on a manhwa i read like forever ago called "turning the mad dog into a genteel lord" and I have no clue if thats its actual name thats just what I remember)

Tommyinnit is a priest for the church of prime, techno is an x war hero/experimentation. tommy gets convinced (ie payed hella cash) to go and be something of a personal healer/nanny for said technoblade

technoblade, the piglin hybrid whos been amped up with experimentations and traumatized by war, does not remember jack shit about life before war, and is constantly one stray movement away from mauling anything near him that breathes.

luckily, as an x war hero who carried the fucking team, he is hella rich and infamous, common people love a tank, and the crown is forced to try and rehabilitate the man so they can sell a war hero story.

this is where priest tommy comes in.

when tommy gets hired and starts working there, being told about the poeple who have been maimed and or injured by technoblade makes him almost dread the day he would be called in to heal the mans injuries

he doesnt expect his first interaction to be so...almost friendly. tommy got called to heal technoblade, who had injured himself trying to injure someone else, and when tommy entered the room, 3 guards behind him with tranqs darts on the ready, techno, to almost everyone's surprise, just stands there and stares at tommy.

ie tommy's hair is gold and so techno lets him come closer so he can stare at the hair, when tommy heals techno however, his hands and eyes and hair glow hella golden and techno (piglin hybrid) grabs tommys arm, but then falls unconscious because being healed by a priest is very relaxing and techno had been in attack mode for like 2 days

techno, when he wakes up, starts following tommy around the manor, very closely. but calmly besides growling at literally anyone who comes nearby, which isnt many because theyre all scared of him

they start paying tommy more to get him to teach technoblade mannors and stuff

tommy becomes the person to go to to solve technoblade problems.

techno literally will not detach from tommy's side

(this is a nice idea but i didnt write anymore for it in my notes so like this is all there is)

[tf2-chaos]

Do you do oneshots? Sorry for the request if not

What about, teasing Merasmus all day when he can't retaliate (like being in public or something), until he finally snaps

I suppose i do? I had no idea what they were till i just searched it up and by my understanding its just a short story of the requested scene and character? So thats what I’m gonna do and if not sorry for my stupidity :3

Btw for the future oneshots in this style will take me longer, sorry im hush stupid and have no idea what im doing cause im bad at writing stories, sorry if this isn’t what you expected

⚠️SMUT⚠️

TEASING MERASMUS ALL DAY

It all started after he teased you all night, until you were red-faced and trembling, only for him to look smug in that quiet, unreadable way of his, listening to you beg all night long, So, you decided to get even. Not with shouting, not with prank but by pulling the strings he tried so hard to keep hidden.

You were both in town, Merasmus scribbling out potion notes while browsing dusty old stalls. He stood tall, his long cloak tucked primly around him, his staff held tight in one hand.

You started slow—nudging up close to him, running your fingers across his knuckles under the pretense of helping him hold something. Pressing your chest lightly against his back when peering over his shoulder, then resting your head there just a second too long, His ears tinted red almost immediately.

“C-careful,” he muttered stiffly, glancing sideways. “We are in public…”

But you just smiled sweetly and brushed your lips against the side of his neck, hidden behind a curtain of your hair.

He went still. Visibly stiffened. His breath hitched before he snapped his head forward again, face hot. As the day dragged on, you didn’t let up—soft touches at his waist when no one was looking, whispering filth into his ear just loud enough to make him glare at you, lips tight with frustration, eyes darting to see who might’ve overheard.

“Do you want me to embarrass myself?” he hissed once, when your fingers ghosted over his hip just as a young couple passed nearby. “Because you’re succeeding.”

But you could see it—the way his voice had gone hoarse, the way his hands had begun to shake when he picked up potion bottles. He was fidgeting more than usual, clutching his shopping bag like it might anchor him. He kept glancing at you like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

You loved watching him squirm. Watching that confident mask falter. And the after one last brush of your fingers along the inside of his thigh, hidden beneath his cloak as he leaned forward to pay a shopkeeper, you saw it…The little tremor in his jaw. The way he swallowed thickly. The ghost of a whimper.

He didn’t speak on the way home. He just held your hand a little too tight. When the tower door finally closed behind you, he stayed silent for a beat. Two.

Andthen, slowlyhe set his staff against the wall. Removed his cloak. “…Why must you always test me like this?” His voice was quiet, measured. His hands were clenched at his sides, his knuckles pale.You stepped toward him, heart racing “I like watching you flustered

He finally turned to face you. His face was red, his brows furrowed, his lips slightly parted. There was no smugness. Just quiet desperation. Something shaking behind his usual stern posture “I could barely concentrate darling ” he whispered, stepping closer. “You do you know what you were doing to me all day?” His hands found your waist, hesitant but needy. “You were cruel” he murmured, eyes locking with yours, almost pleading. “And you’re not leaving this tower until I’ve paid you back properly, mortal”

His kiss came sudden, clumsy at first, like he was holding back too long. You felt the tension melt from his shoulders as his hands gripped tighter, his mouth opening against yours. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested on yours, breath shaky

“On the bed. Now,” he said, still breathless, voice wavering despite his commanding tone. “Clothes off. Face down.” That fire in his chest finally broke free—and he wasn’t going to stop until he’d made up for all the restraint he’d shown in town

Not my best work but i think its nice? If you want i can rewrite it. Also sorry if that isn’t how you imagined his personality, just kinda how i see him…will probably work on it in the future

[legendaryfacecoffee]

Okay i wanna make some few changes to my Mirai Nikki creepypasta AU.

Minene will be included in this AU as Yuki's guide. But they would be both separated so they would be talking on their own diraies. But once when they both finally meet up, Minene would be missing her bottom half of her body and only will be crawling with her hands and she is also missing her eyepatch. But she would still be alive and wouod tell Yuki to leave, only for her to get squished by a gaint foot. (Im not going to tell you who it was, you just have to guess bby🤭)

Yuki will get more weponds as he progresses to get out. He will be have: Darts at first, a gun which Kurusu gave to him before he tried to kill him, a knife which he stole from Ai half when she tried to throw it at him.

Karyuudo will be able to move his mouth only just a bit of a inch, his stomach however is possessed by Mary (His dog) who can now talk. Their relationship is not the best but its not the worst.

I forgot to mention Akise would be included as well and he is the reason that Yuki was in this place and he also kills Yuki in the end. (Btw i dont know if i should say that Yuki is living in a sleep paraylsis forever bc he literally dies in it.)

The diray users would be a maybe twice as large as they would be. (Expect from Karyuudo, John and Yomostu, the three of them will be colossal lol).

The diray users who cant open their mouths would be speaking on their minds which anyone can hear.

That is some changes to the Au!!

Also here are some shitty AU headcanons with the diray users and if they get along or not.

Takao literally hates everyone (Expect from Yomotsu) for dissing him just because he was the first person to die. He is the big loner lol. (Guys... Im going to ship Takao and Yomotsu in this AU too I DONT JUDGE ME-)

Reisuke and Tsubaki are literally bffs, they are fucking gremlings also and would sometimes cause mischef.

Kurusu however gets along with the kids and is bffs with Kamado since that the both of them didnt try to kill Yuki.

John and Karyuudo are bffs. (If you ship them in this AU I SWEAR TO GOD-)

John and Karyuudo are also good friends with Yomotsu which make them a trio (A fatass trio bc they are all large asf).

Marco has beef with everyone but Ai likes everyone.

Karyuudo still hates Akise and he hates him too lmao

Everyone pays their repects to Kamado (Even the ones who hates everyone)

Yaaaaaa.... Thats most of it ^∇^ if you have any questions about this AU, dont be shy to ask lol. Anyway yeah.

[thelatexshapeshifter]

just getting some ideas out of my head for my OC clan some ancient Greek yautja. athena and zeus are still around today as clan elders and Medusa is the granddaughter and inherited the name medusa has a micro dart launcher built in to her bio mask, with a chemical that upon contact calcifies flesh turning it to bone, she likes her trophies to still have faces. tho the chemicals can be swapped out for the normal yautja acids if need be shy, likes to stay hidden and at range if she can, has never won a hand to hand combat sparing match during training, tho has the longest undetected stealth and infiltration streak amongst her generation in the clan, is often sent on gear retrieval and clean up hunts .

Athena, the typical yautja but with a bit more of a motherly side, will make you train for hours but will also cook you dinner and and make sure you rest up enough and get a good sleep

zeus, hes a big old dude, the oldest in the clan by far doesn't really have the endurance to hunt anymore (can and will lift a car to show hes "still got it" ), will shoot at uninvited space craft entering his clans territory... old man with a shotgun sitting on the porch kinda vibes but a yautja with a plasma cannon ( thats a cannon yautja weapon in the comics btw) and has the best stories. unfortunately dose take after the name sake in some not so good ways as well.

[kuyanh]

If you ask What kind of weapon design fit him? , I think rope dart or whip matches him, and I can't draw humans lmao, I also been trying to humanoid my OC but never been able to do it :'], I'll just draw him wearing the weapon as his clothing and the other with him battling with it, if that's ok??

welp thats okay:D

i js need some idea lol

oh btw u said u want idea right?

try 2 draw purp w his trauma cuz y not?¯\_(ツ)_/¯

if u already do it, try 2 draw ur fav character w ur hc hobbies:)