#thats not saying new covers are bad theres plenty of great ones but a lot of them just are really different from older ones

[muirneach]

i need modern artists to start caring about physical music media immediately. pleaseee can we as a society get rid of streaming

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 45

[Date: 23/02, 10.09 PM - 23/02 11.29 PM GMT ]

page: “Hello everyone!!! :)”

P R I N C E: “Hello Page! :D”

fetch: “Oh hey there Page :]”

page: “Ah Fetch! It's a pleasure to finally meet you! The others told me a bit about you before but I'm so happy I get to meet a new friend!”

[fetch: “Yeah its... Its really nice to meet you too :] How are you?”]

page: “I am doing quite well, I hope you had a nice rest last night! Crown said you were very tired...”

[fetch: “Yeah, I was a little exhausted. Nothing a good nights sleep couldn't fix!!”]

page: “I'm glad! Everyone apart of our family certainly deserves a good rest :)”

[fetch: “Anyway, what brings you round here?”]

page: “Well, I joined rather suddenly and Crown thought it might be a good idea to introduce myself properly! :)”

[fetch: “Oh yeah! Everyone else  got an intro. I suppose its your turn eh?”]

page: “Yes! I will gladly answer any questions anyone has!”

[fetch: “Opinion on chicken nuggies?”]

page: “I really like them! Especially with ketchup or even mayo :)”

[fetch: “Favorite flower?”]

page: “Freesia flowers are so sweet and pretty!”

[Denora: “Favorite girl scout cookie?”]

page: “In Canada we only have either chocolate covered mint ones or ones that are similar to oreos that can be chocolate or vanilla! I like the oreo looking ones :)”

[havoc.ren: “Can we get a fit check for the artists? :]”]

page: “Ah okay! I have a white button up shirt with a black bowtie on! As well as a pastel green skirt and of course my circlet, just like Barons it's a simple gold one with no gems :)”

[disks and the color red |Stars: “The most important question I can ask: Do you like maccy cheese?”]

page: “I love maccy cheese! Especially with extra milk!”

[fetch: “Hey page... Do you... Know me? I know you said you had just met me but like, has any of the Court told you about me?”]

page: “Hmm...Nope! I haven't, though you do remind me a lot of one of my great friends, Knight! :)“

[fetch: “Is that so? How do I remind you of him?”]

page: “I guess from what I have seen the way you type and how kind you are to me reminds me of them...Theres also something else but i can't quite put my finger on it...”

[fetch: “...Oh. You remind me of my old friend too.”]

page: “Oh! Was it the other friend I was told was missing? I hope you find him again soon! I've seen some people mention him before along with something about a...Turkey of some sort?"

jayyyyyyyy: “a turkey?”

fetch: “ITS-

its... an inside joke”

[fetch: “Yeah, you remind me of Maxwell. I... kinda miss him a lot. Think you can keep an eye out?”]

page: “Of course anything to help my beloved friends! :)”

[fetch: “its... an inside joke”]

page: “And the joke...it's...not a secret is it? You're not hiding something from me are, you shouldn't lie to friends...”

[fetch: “:] How close are you with crown? Is there anything you've gathered that you can share with us?”]

page: “Gathered? Do you mean...secrets! :)”

fetch: “And no its not a secret! Just something we can talk about later :]”

[fetch: “Family isn't supposed to keep secrets, remember?”]

page: “That's right!...But...Crown told me not to tell people things without permission because its bad...”

[fetch: “So... He's keeping secrets? But you said thats bad!”]

page: “ But-- but...Won't Crown be mad? I don't wanna get in trouble or be...grounded...”

[P R I N C E: “Crown doesn't keep secrets, page!  he can be a little forgetful sometimes, but he doesn't keep secrets. :)”]

fetch: “if you say so...”

[A random Spark: “What are you allowed to share without getting into trouble?”]

page: “Anything that Crown says I can :)”

[page: “ But-- but...Won't Crown be mad? I don't wanna get in trouble or be...grounded...”]

fetch: “If it gets you in trouble you don't have to tell me. I was just wondering.”

[jayyyyyyyy: “A little information here and there can't hurt!”]

page: “But if Crown finds out then I could get in serious trouble! Oh god oh god I dont wanna get in trouble if he grounds me--”

[fetch: “You don't have to tell! not if he's going to hurt you.”]

page: “Is there....Anything you would want to know specifically...? I might be able to tell you”

[P R I N C E: “I can ask Crown what you're allowed to share! :D”]

page: “Really? You're the best big sibling ever!”

P R I N C E: “Yeah! Aw thank you :D”

[fetch: “Can you ask him whats so important about the Crowns? And why we need to put them on to be in the family?”]

page: “Yes yes! I'll ask him for you! I'm confused why you want to know though? I mean they're important to us! :)”

Chat: “Don't worry Page! I'm sure Crown won't be mad at you.”

A random Spark: “Hello Chat...”

Chat: “Hello again, everyone!”

Chat: “Why do you all sound so upset?”

[fetch: “Can you ask him whats so important about the crowns? And why we need to put them on to be in the family?”]

page: “You don't need them! He just thinks it helps us look more unified as a family!”

[A random Spark: “I would rather not speak on the matter Chat”]

Chat: “I'm sorry. I hope you're in a better mood soon, though! :)”

page: “Well it's obviously a family! I mean, Prince is pretty much my older sibling!”

[fetch: “oh I see :] Can you take it off if you felt like it? Like, do you sleep with it on?”]

page: “We can sleep, though how much depends on how much we want to sleep! And yes, we always do wear our circlets no matter the situation :)”

page: “It's like they're not even there honestly! You hardly feel notice them!”

[A random Spark: “That sounds painful...aren't circlets hard?”]

Chat: “A little, but it doesn't hurt me at all! :)”

[fetch: “Is there any instance that could cause you to take off your crown? Like... say for showering or changing clothes?]

Chat: “No”

page: “Nope! why would we? We can't even really feel them, ha! :D”

Chat: “I'd like to talk to Knight again, too... I miss them a lot.”

A random Spark: “Fetch is nice”

Chat: “I'm sorry, Fetch! You're very nice too!”

[page: “Hey! Knight is like an older brother to me but you seem really nice to!”]

Fetch: “Glad I'm nice at least...”

Chat: “:)”

page: “I don't mean to be rude or pushy, i've been told being pushy is bad, but you all seem to be a bit more...confused after i told you about our circlets....Oh wait! Are you perhaps jealous? Would you like some too? :D”

A random Spark: “I think for now I am good...”

Chat: “Are you sure? There are plenty for everyone! :)”

fetch: “Noo, I would not like a circlet. Theyd look much nicer on you and the Court anyway :]”

page: “But why not? They're so nice and pretty and although it feels a little uncomfy at first you eventually forget you're even wearing one at all!”

A random Spark: “I have a pendant, I do not need a circlet”

[fetch: “I’m not much of a jewelry fan :]”]

page: “Neither was I! But Crown thought that perhaps it would be nice and it really is a simple one!”

P R I N C E: “If you don't want circlets just yet, I'd love to make everyone little flower crowns! :D”

[Continued in pt 46.]

[all-hail-the-witcher]

cats the movie was created by the mafia and here's why

so since one (1) person said that they still wanna hear this theory imma post it

first, the reviews of cats are so mixed, it's confusing. im not even sure if everyone is talking about the same movie. lets look at some of the more wild ones:

but then i found these two:

both of these reviews (the second one especially) explicitly mention celebrities, which, made me think of a conspiracy theory

i once watched a video (i think it was a shane dawson one) where he discussed how people believe that it could be a possibility that the government uses celebrities and their scandals to distract the population from their wrongdoing and general mishaps. that being said, lets unpack what we know about cats:

-cats themselves (as in the animal) are generally very cute and people find them funny. it is commonly perceived by some that the internet - youtube specifically - is “that place with the cat videos” and people are very entertained by them (think about tik toks, twitter and tumblr threads, vines, and ig accounts) and even interact with cats if they happen to be allergic to them. it is safe to say that the human population has somewhat of an obsession with cats. 

-cats the musical is generally misunderstood by a lot of people. i have never actually seen it but from what i understand its a musical about cats competing to see who will die and theres one good song (memory). the internet has gone about about “what the heck is cats even about” for many years before the movie came out in the form of memes and other random internet jokes.

and now lets address the us government. right now most people agree that its plenty shitty for various reasons. even people in other countries Dont Get It. (im not going to get too into it because chances are if you have an internet connection you've heard about the shit the us government has done recently)

now. onto the movie itself. (hang onto your hats this is where it gets wild)

according to google, cats is a british american film. it is a well known fact that america was originally colonized by the british and we gained our freedom in 1776 (i really hope thats not news to you) but the war didnt end until the british surrendered at yorktown in 1781 and the treaty of paris wasn't signed until 1783. the british were notoriously salty afterwards, continuing to pirate american ships and do other generally annoying things which resulted in the war of 1812. it was not until after the war of 1812 (which officially ended in 1815) that the british recognized america was independent and actually started respecting them. britain and america were also allies and have famously teamed up to stop people from taking over the world (ie ww2 amongst others).

youre probably wondering what the hell this has to do with cats. stick with mw, we’re getting there.

in the weeks after the 2016 election, there were many memes circulating the internet along the lines of this:

needless to say, it was a wild time for america. 

now, admittedly, britain was Also in the midst of their own wild time because of brexit, but somehow the election results managed to kind of overshadow that (at least in america). 

so lets review some Important Dates:

-june 23, 2016 -> brexit is proposed

-november 8, 2016 -> 2016 election

-march 2017-> britain formally announces leaving the eu

additionally, in 2016 the worlds biggest superpowers were (in order) the us, russia, china, india, and the uk.

now, onto my theory.

the mafia has always notoriously been trying to be stopped by the government for their crime and is a strange organization with a lot of money. the mafia Does still exist although mostly in new england. since 2016 there has been a disconnect between the government and the people due to the staggering amounts that do not support the current president. the mafia may have seen this as an opportunity to overthrow the current government/president and cabinet and place their own person there so that they wouldn't get as much shit from the government. 

this theory does get a little bit complicated regarding the presidents suspected ties to the mafia. however, the mafia is very powerful and i have no doubt that they could have somehow blackmailed trump or implemented false records in order to depict the president falsely. or they could have tricked the president into working with them in order to gain secrets to help them overthrow him. the possibilities are endless. 

so in the time between the 2016 election and when britain formally announced leaving the eu, the mafia probably had some time to scheme a little, thinking up possible ways for them to overthrow the government. 

after britain announced leaving the eu, someone in the government must have realized that it was making britain widely unpopular and they should do something to clean up their image. so they take a peek around and happen to notice that america is royally fucked cause of the president and there are people threatening to move to canada cause of it.

but why is any of this of importance to britain?

well, britain used to be the top world superpower before ww2, but then were beat out by america both after the war and when they announced nsc 68, a plan to make amerias military stronger and provide aid to american allies being threatened by communism. although britain and america stayed allies, it is likely that britain may have been a bit salty about this. and, if they could somehow get rid of trump and weaken the country this may bump the us from the lead world superpower and (if they were lucky) also russia and china who the president was more or less involved with.

low and behold who has the same desires? the mafia.

so the mafia and britain team up to defeat the us government. but how will they do it?

my friends, that is where cats comes in. 

as stated, the government has previously used celebrity scandals to cover up and distract from their own. the mafia and britain would not have wanted to make this seem like anything out of the ordinary, so they decided to implement this form of distraction, but twisted it into grotesque exposure. but they needed a vehicle in which to use this

if you refer to my information on cats from before, american people love cats and cats the musical is a somewhat loved classic that makes little to no sense. additionally, theater fans have recently been calling for screen filmed shows so they dont have to spend lots of money on tickets (see newsies live and bandstand) so in order to pass this off as normal they chose to use cats.

howmst ever, they needed to make the american people not like cats anymore so that they wouldn't be easily distracted by them. how to accomplish this? make the cats in the movie cgi celebrities. 

the celebrity lineup of the movie is quite impressive, containing the following:

james corden, judi dench, jason derulo, idris elba, jennifer husdon, ian mckellan, taylor swift, and rebel wilson. 

these celebrities were all chosen for the type of audience they would draw in so that it would be as vast as possible. (old people, young people, middle aged people, etc).

the mafia paid these celebrities handsomely and coerced them into being in the movie. 

now, lets discuss the timeline. 

the movie itself premiered on december 20th and the mafia and britain would have begun creating it as soon as march of 2017. scripts take up to 12 weeks to write, putting them at june of 2017. pre production takes 10 weeks, putting them at about halfway through september 2017. it takes about an average of 10 weeks to film, putting them at december 2017. and, according to pixar, animating a movie can take between 4 and 7 years, however, the reviews have stated that cats only took about a year to animate the movie, putting it at about december 2018. this would give the mafia about 7 extra months for any needed editing or fixing between when they could have hypothetically started and ended the movie itself because the trailer came out in july of 2019.

they would have wanted to release the movie just before 2020 because that is when the next election takes place and they would need everyone to be immune to propaganda. 

the mafia and britain creating cats explains a lot of things such as:

-why james corden has not gone to see the movie

-why the animation is so horrifying

-why the movie was made in such little time

-why the celebrities in the movie are actually in the movie

-why the budget was able to be so large if it was an epic flop

-peoples general confusion as to why the movie was even made

see, they would have known that even if not a lot of people saw the movie, it would have made headlines just because of how bad it is, terrifying people of both the celebrities in it (remember this includes james corden, a prominent talk show host and taylor swift, one of the top song writers) and of cats themselves.

in conclusion, cats was filmed by the mafia and great britain in an attempt to overthrow the us government.

be careful who you vote for in 2020.

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf  @disagreetoagree  @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade  @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho  @marvel-randomness  @daniellajocelyn  @katecolleen  @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

[e8luhs]

Hey! So, since you run an actually successful fanventure, do you have any tips on writing one? Mine, Scratchwise, is still in the baby stages, and I want to make it the best it can be.

heres the post ive written about character development!

since most of my previous posts on actual plot writing have been nonexistent and very vague, HERE under the cut are a couple of things that i can say ive learned over the course of time and hopefully it will help you somehow. enjoy

obviously the first question that should be asked is this: what story do you want to tell? figure out themes that are important to you. study your favorite novels and analyze the themes you recognize, why you recognize them, and why they may or may not have an emotional impact on you. do you want to tell a story about recovery? about struggle? WHATEVER have you? ask why you want to tell it, and how youre going to tell it.

sidenote 1.1: sometimes you wont know what youre going for for a while, and thats okay. to be honest i totally had no idea what the main theme of cataclysmalbound until later into the game. sometimes this shit just pulls itself together and thats fine too, but i recommend thinking about themes early on because it helps immensely with foreshadowing and character development.

please god do your research if youre going to be writing about heavier topics. honestly this is a pretty obvious point but i still feel it needs to be specified. i cant even really begin to describe how not just annoying but downright frustrating it is seeing stories where people milk their characters trauma or really just have the audacity to write about experiences that they have no authority to speak about. if youre going to be writing about abuse and trauma, please take on these topics with care, and keep in mind that they must be covered with a sense of understanding, nuance, and with education; these are actual experiences that actual people have to go through.

sidenote 2.1: here and here are some jumping-off-point sources for advice with writing traumatized characters. again these are like SUPER JUMPING OFF POINT sources take it all with a grain of salt and sense of skepticism, theres also plenty of writing blogs on tumblr and whatnot which have typically talked about similar. just USE RESOURCES. you get the gist.

revise revise revise. listen to me right now, youre not going to go with the first version of your story. in fact you SHOULDNT go with the first version of your story, EVER, because your story WILL become better alongside you and your own writing style. give yourself time to let your story sink in, and adjust accordingly when you find hiccups.

sidenote 3.1: im tellin you that cataclysmalbound originally? was nothing like it is now and its because ive been working on it since 2016. i have obviously changed not only as a person but a writer since that point in time. i originally tried starting up the comic one month after the creation of the characters. guess how that went? TERRIBLY! because i had NO idea who the characters were, half of them were irrelevant, the plot was rushed and all in all it was a bad time. just like, let yourself SIT on it no matter how enthusiastic you are. i get it... i know... but seriously

be flexible. in my experience its good to have a plot but its even more important to go with what feels natural to your characters. im personally a very character driven person so it MIGHT just be me, but honestly if your plot is TOO structured it can be almost suffocating to the characters because it gives them no space for development, conversation, emotions, it leaves NO space for tension. dont guide your characters, FOLLOW them because it will ultimately be 20x more impactful in the end due to it being driven by your characters feelings/motivations/actions rather than just like... whatever.

pacing is important. if you have too much going on too quickly, it will lead to an ultimately unfulfilling and lifeless story. let things build up over time. this might not come naturally and thats okay as well! ive had to re-write and re-pace my story like 3 or 4 or HOWEVER many times because ive realized later on just how rushed it sounded. again: youre going to evolve and flexibility is important so that you CAN evolve.

keep track of your plot. duh, obviously. write it down, keep it in a google doc, keep it on a google sheet, whatever is best for you

sidenote 6.1: write down all of your new ideas too. “oh ill remember this later its too cool to forge--” NO. you WILL FORGET. WRITE IT DOWN. KEEP NOTES ON YOUR PHONE. KEEP A NOTEPAD ON YOU. you will thank yourself later.

talk to other people about your characters. overcome the anxiety! its worth it! not only will it help you with bouncing new ideas for plot points off of other people, but it will also give you an idea of how these events and characters will be interpreted. taking from not only your OWN skillset but OTHERS is really great and good and no matter how “solo” of a job youre pulling, writing and literature ultimately is about teamwork because of the fact that it can be interpreted and tweaked upon in unique ways by everyone.

when in doubt write it out. i have run into pitfalls where i have an idea of what i want to happen, but i dont know HOW to make it happen. what causes it, what are the characters intentions, how does it build up, etc. sometimes the best thing you can do at these points is just WRITE like, from whichever characters perspective is necessary and go ham on it. write out the aftermath, or write DURING the plot point, or write how relationships might be affected by it. genuinely it has been helpful to me for brainstorming, since it puts me into my characters places and helps me ask “what would logically happen based on how everyone acts”. sometimes its really as simple as getting it out of your head and onto the page.

sidenote 8.1: on the topic of characters, as ive stated in the “character development” half of this, if you dont care about or dont have a place for your character in the plot, ditch em. really. throw em out if they dont have an actual impact. if you DO care but still dont have a place, its up to you to make one.

sidenote 8.2: also sometimes you might have a character which you might really favor and want to give them a lot of like DRAMA but if you want to have equal emphasis on all of your characters, you need to figure out how to redistribute the spotlight.

finally all i can say is that the rest is up to you. to get all up and fucking poetic in here, the sparks of inspiration will naturally come from your own life and experiences and feelings. utilize that and also the ways that you as an individual garner ideas... because thats what makes your story unique ^_^ go fucking hogwild. apeshit, if you will

[enixamyram]

Hey, guess what, I’ve found another screen rant I want to react to! I wasn’t planning to do any more but, reading through this article, I just have SO many problems with it... So Let’s do another, agree or disagree with a Screenrant article made by someone with no bias at all. (Sarcasm for the last part by the way.) So let’s see:

Agreed with this point. People act like, if the characters weren’t on screen then they disappeared or something. Maybe they were just living their own lives?

... I don’t even understand this article. Apparently this is 20 things people get wrong and this point is that the timeline can make sense, but then OP goes on to say “However, the more characters were introduced and the more worlds the characters ventured into, it became clearer and clearer that time didn't work the same way everywhere... However, in a world of fairytales, expecting anything more than that is simply asking too much. What does it matter, exactly, when some of these events took place as long as we know that they were a long time ago in a universe not at all like our own?”

Like, so that means this isn’t something people get wrong - the timeline DOESN’T make sense - so what the hell is it doing in this article? You can’t claim you’ve solved it just because you shrug and go “yeah but it’s magic so what do you expect?”

I mean the text directly conflicts the title/bullet point. Luckily I can still safely say I disagree, both with the title and the text because the timeline became f*cked, and just making an embarrassed shrugging face doesn’t change that.

I can’t even say disagree because this is just plain wrong! I don’t quite understand this writer. I can’t tell what they’re deal is, like did they just give a poor title to their article?

Season 1 - The Original Curse Season 2 - Belle and Sneezy lost their memories. Season 3 - Everyone lost a year. Season 5 - Camelot Season 6 - Emma lost her memories Season 7 - Another Curse.

Notice how I left out 4? Well this is where I’m getting confused because this is what OP had to say about Season 4: “While season four dabbled with alternate universes, memories were never wiped or reset in the way they were in every other season.”

... But their memories WERE wiped! They were essentially in a curse because their memories WERE wiped and they WERE given new identities just like the original curse. So yes, memory wipes did in fact happen every single season!

So I can’t agree or disagree because maybe some people do call Ruby a lesbian, but most everyone I talk to calls her bi... So I’ma just skip this one.

Note: She’s bi people. This is canon. If you don’t agree then tough shit.

Agreed, there’s plenty of other ways true love can be proven. TLK is probably just the most convenient, lol.

Kind of agree? I mean I think most people do know and acknowledge this but I guess it can sometimes escape people without realising in passing sentences?

This is true. It was a lame and terrible reveal that made no sense but it was revealed.

... Like, I’m getting confused again. Because this title either doesn’t fit or the writer lives under a rock because no one get’s this wrong! Everyone - rightfully - calls out Zelena for what she did. Even Zelena fans admit what she did was messed up!

... I do agree, I don’t think she made up for all the awful things she did and she definitely became “one of the team” way too quickly for my liking. (I’m hesitant because I suddenly have an idea what side of the fandom wrote this article and I can pretty much predict where it’s going.)

AND THERE IT IS!

DISAGREE.  DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE.

“Nothing says good guy like being an older man who takes advantage of a young girl, impregnates her, and lets her go to jail for crimes you yourself committed.” First off, we don’t know his age. Second, he didn’t ‘impregnant’ her. She got pregnant. It takes two to tango though I doubt the writer knows this. And third, Emma went to jail for HER crimes. Sorry, dear writer, but let me just fill you in. Aiding and abetting a fellow criminal IS A CRIME! Emma did wrong and she was punished for it. I don’t necessarily agree with what Neal did but he is not responsible for where Emma ended up.

“Even further, nothing says good guy like someone who mocks the woman he allegedly loves for the years of trauma, suffering, and scars she endured as a result of your callous, selfish behavior.” ... WHEN?!

“... Neal Cassidy became more and more like the selfish, frequently malicious parents who raised him.” ... Again, WHEN?! Like seriously, selfish maybe but malicious?!

“In no world would he have been the right man for Emma or a good father to Henry because he could never accept accountability for any of his many wrongdoings.” Except, you know, Neal knew Henry all of five minutes and was already dedicated to being a great dad to him and literally was WAY better at being a father to Henry than Hook ever was to the kid. And I added the Hook part because my God, the writer of this article couldn’t be more obvious a CS shipper if they had every sentence end with swans and pirate flags.

It’s amazing how, even dead, they’re still threatened by Neal’s character.

Maybe this was true in S6, but by S7 they had clearly retconned it, making the Wish Realm a very real place. Otherwise there’s a ton of plot holes and you’ve got to be a real idiot to say you’d rather accept plot holes than that the Wish Realm might actually be real.

(Also, just saying, another terrible title because what happened to Emma and Regina when they were in the Wish Realm very much DID happen. So again, really poor titles for this article that clearly doesn’t know what it’s point is.)

... She VIOLATED everyone’s minds by erasing their memories and TRIED TO MURDER ZELENA!

She may have had good intentions but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a villain for a season! Dude, have you never heard the phrase “the road to hell was paved with good intentions”?! I’ll defend Emma turning Hook into a Dark One for sure, but trying to completely ignore the awful things she did?! Jesus Christ!

Again... What? OP... Everyone already KNOWS this. This article is meant to be things people gets wrong but, honestly, I think OP’s the only idiot who gets things wrong at this point. So I’m once again torn because I agree with the statement but I don’t agree that this is something people get wrong.

*Sigh* OP’s giving me a migraine. Not because their statement is incorrect, but because all their reasoning is!

“Regina, as we know, went back and forth to points outside of Maine many times during the preceding 28 years.” It was actually explained, by Regina herself to Hook in Season 2, that because she (and he) had no cursed memories, crossing the town line would not affect them.

“Greg and Tamara are also able to cross the town lines, with Greg even remembering the tiny town for years and years after a traumatic encounter within it during his childhood.” Again. The town line affects people who ARE CURSED! This is made very clear! Henry can also cross the town line when he went to get Emma.

The title, once again, is misleading. People are able to leave - so long as they don’t CROSS THE TOWN LINE. That’s the part CURSED people are not able to do.

I’ve given up Agreeing and Disagreeing at this point. OP’s points are making my brain hurt so let’s just move on.

You’re right OP. It did serve a purpose. It’s purpose was to be a cash grab!

Apparently OP’s excuse is that Anna and Elsa helped Emma come into her own as a magic user? Like yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Emma had no problem using her magic until they brought Frozen in, then they made a whole storyline of Emma having problems just to justify having Elsa struggle and then help her with it.

And after they left they were barely even mentioned. So, again. NO PURPOSE. (Apart from a cash grab.)

Okay, so actually, I do agree. Regina is still Henry’s mum but the fact is, his adoption can’t be legal because Regina would need to have lied on her application and all the usual checks usually done for people wanting to adopt couldn’t possibly have happened.

I was going to agree on technicality but you know what? No.

DISAGREE!

Just because the couples aren’t perfect doesn’t make them toxic. (Using OP’s examples:) “Robin's relationship with Regina results in his being repeatedly assaulted and fathering a child as a result of that assault.” Wow, dude, wait to blame the girlfriend for some of the bad stuff that happened in Robin’s life. I sure feel sorry for whoever you end up with if this is how you see it. “Hook and Emma frequently lie to one another as well,” Lying does not equal a toxic relationship! Certain lies, maybe, but general lying is just what people do when they’re embarrassed or ashamed or upset. What counts is what you’re lying about and also whether or not you come clean about it.

The only one I’ll agree with is RumBelle but even then OP completely misses the reason WHY they’re a toxic relationship. Instead they generalise it into very un-toxic details.

... Again... Like... I agree with the statement but NO ONE GETS THIS WRONG!

OP is clearly just using this article as an excuse to bash Regina. And I’m not a Regina fan, but no, dude, if you’re gonna do this then make a “20 of the worst things Regina ever did” list. Not a “20 things people get wrong” and then list a bunch of things that one in ten people gets wrong!

And now OP’s repeating. Because I’m pretty sure this was covered in the 4th one? Like, agree. I guess. But it feels like OP was running out of things and figured Regina bashing again would be too obvious or something.

Okay. Now this is something a lot of people won’t agree with but... I do.

I agree the show was intended to be Emma’s story and that it then got popular and other characters got popular and it branched out into something more.

... However OP is still a colossus idiot because they ended on this sentence:

“It's what made the concept of a seventh season without almost any of the Charmings such a laughable concept - and such a colossal failure, as well.” And while Season 7 may not be the masterpiece I pretend it is to piss of anti’s, it is also far from the worst. OP just hates it because their fav wasn’t centre stage and they’re bitter as hell.

Wow this was probably the stupidest article yet. OP either clearly doesn’t know what they were meant to be doing (a list of things people often forget about the show) or they just wanted to make a list where they bitched a few points and couldn’t be bothered to think of a catchy title or reason why. Either way, OP’s an idiot and most of these points are ridiculously dumb.

[cutefut]

Skype Questions for 31/07/2019 wk3

Skype Interview Questions for Annie from Tearfund. This was the first communications interview where we could understand what Annie envisioned, and could answer some valid questions to go towards the project. I met up with Simone and Lauren who we are now working closely with. Below are some questions that were planned on bringing up into conversation:

What outcome would you like to see from us working with you?

Are there any aspects in particular that you would like us to focus on when designing promotional material for TearFund?

You have said that you would like to target a younger and wider audience; what do you think of creating a fun visual medium such as an app, lookbook, or subscription media page to engage the public more and better illustrate the key issues TearFund what people to know?

What do you want people to know about TearFund?

Why do you think there have been bad press regarding the fashion report?

What feedback have you received that can better the reputation of the report?

What have you found to be your most successful platform in terms of getting your message across (so far)?

In the Skype meeting Annie gave us plenty of information, and a lot of my questions were answered pretty quickly. The two other communicators prompted more information with their questions. This first meeting was helpful and gave us better insight before heading to class. 

Interview with Annie: 20 minute duration (simplified transcript from voice recording)

We wanted to know more background and information about Tearfund?

Basically, as I explained in the presentation, Tearfund is an organisation with development work in countries which is kind of like our prime target of work. Ethical fashion guide sits quite outside of it but like we still see it as an important form of work in terms of advocacy. And probably the most touchpoint of that is that we are very much into looking after the worker and thats kind of how it ties into all of other work, and its that we acknowledge that ya know workers in the fashion industry are often exploited: they don’t have many rights, they are treated pretty badly, and so it’s not so dissimilar to all the other work we do. 

And so the other side of that we are wanting to achieve in New Zealand is that creating something that gets into the consumers hands that helps them make better choices when they are purchasing and  informs them a bit better. So i guess thats like probably the most important part for us. And so the ethical fashion guide is a totally complicated one and Jennifer and I have talked about this before, lots of  people have different opinions on what or if they think its good or if they think its bad, what they think it should be doing, or if they think it does well. And yeah, lots of feedback we have gotten recently is the environmental side of the report. So historically the report was designed to look at worker empowerment which is the most heavily weighted section in the survey. The main bit of that is to check of is what the company is doing to look after the people, and how they are doing it and basically how robust are they. So up until last year it really focused on like workers but sort of this year we are introducing the environmental section and i think as kiwis, the  environment is something that we care about a lot. Obviously without an environment we wont be able to survive, so although its not directly connected to people in some ways its totally connected to us as you guys probably know. 

A lot of feedback we got this year is that companies and people, like through press or supporters coming to us saying: we like what you're doing but we think you failed to address some of the really big pieces to do with sustainability and the environment. Our environmental section at this stage addresses things like water use, chemical testing, I can send you a it of a run down of what the questionnaire asks which might be quite helpful. 

But it doesn’t really go into things like slow fashion vs fast fashion, and evaluating impact beyond like purchase, the volume of something. we often get asked “how does zara get such a good grade? How are they compared to someone like Kowtow?”  Longevity of garments, circular relationships, that sort of thing. It’s not like we don’t want to ask those kinds of questions, also, something interesting for you guys: Tear Fund New Zealand is a partner with another organisation in Australia called Baptist World Aid. They own the company, they make all of the big decisions. We try to give our two cents as much as possible to influence them. But at the end of the day, it’s their project so we hope that all of this research that are doing will be able to go towards something really cool in that space. Yeah thats just kind of a disclaimers for you guys. 

What was the name of that organisation? 

Baptist World Aid. So you will sometimes see it as BWA. I think it would be cool for you guys to help us think about ways in which we can measure that sort of environmental sustainability piece. We all know that these things should be being addressed. But we are not sure of the metrics we can use, cause theres almost nothing concrete in terms of data that you can acquire to tell us, to give us the stats on these things right. Beyond a brands power, say like when you purchase a garment, you know maybe like how many times you've washed something or how long you've had it in your wardrobe for but like there is no central data base to collect all that. So it would be really cool if you guys could have a think about that. Maybe see what else is out there in terms of metrics and research. 

I guess the other side of the thing is that the Ethical Fashion Report, as I was saying earlier, is something  that is received really well in New Zealand. but it also gets a lot of critical media attention. I think a lot of that is a lot of people not understanding how it actually works. and the purpose of it. Cause we have got the guide, and we have got the report; and hardly anyone would read the report and try to understand the bigger picture of it. So maybe, I'm sure if you guys have read the report, and i know its a really chunky document, so apologies in advance. but it might be helpful for you guys to take bit of a deep dive into that. Just to gain a really good understanding of it. Any questions so far?

No.. I think you’re covering it so well! No, you’re answering all of our questions already! It’s good.

Well yeah, so I reckon that those two main pieces and maybe to go into the positive chatter thing a bit. I mean with you guys being design students, you have such unique way of thinking, it would be cool to engage that sort of thinking to promote what we do because you know we’ve been promoting through articles and interviews sort of thing but its not necessarily promoted - other than the design field, you know in a other creative way. And possibly thats what it needs to gain bit of traction and become something really positive. Looking at it through a different lens through design. So that would be really interesting to see you guys come up with anything to do with that. 

With that, with the positiveness, did you mind if we showed people what fast fashion is actually kind of like? or do you want us to stay strictly positive? 

It’s totally up to you, but I don't see any harm with showing like a reality of it. Because i think people want to change things once they’ve seen kind of the harsh side of it. I think  if you balance it with a positive narrative, at the end  that sort of like inspires people, its yeah it balances each other out. So yeah I'm totally open to you guys revealing the harsher side behind it as well. 

What is your biggest audience? Who should we be targeting? 

Theres quite a few different audiences, so say for the purpose of the guide, essentially Tear Fund has our supporters who support our other causes, maybe they sponsor a child or are interested in the other work that we do. so thats sort of like one group and they’re, honestly about 50+. But that’s almost not the main key target of the Ethical Fashion Guide. I reckon the ethical fashion guide probably targets people maybe from 15 to - lets go with 35. That’ll be our main braces to target just because they are the groups that are like really keen to get involved in the space, they care about it. They are probably more active on social media and stuff. Is that too broad?

No that’s good.

So you said active on social media, are you looking at us to create something that is for social media? 

Well i guess, I mean we don't have a massive presence on social media, other than when we do the launch. Cause we have tear fund new zealand Instagram and Facebook page, and tear fund sees that as a strategic move to to keep sort of like all our pages in one. so probably wouldn’t be looking to create a separate account, and then put like and put the content stuff through that. but i reckon its definitkey something - its a story we should be telling on social media through our account. at all times of the year, not just through, at the peak time when we are releasing the report essentially. if that could be part of what yo guys do, great. if you wanna steer away from social media and make it more like guerrilla marketing, cool as well. whatever you wanna do. 

So what kind of promotional stuff do you do now? is it just the, like you said, the one post on social media currently?

Yeah so its kind of like, leading up to it and then at the time of the launch we will do lots of social media stuff. we will sort of try and do little bits and bob throughout the year, like through speaking at schools and churches. or just kind of getting the word out there by like seeking engagements. we do emails each month to our supporter database. which basically people who have signed up to the ethical fashion guide, we  then say like do you want to be taken on an ethical fashion journey? and so they either join or if they have been involved in the emails for a year, then they get moved to the advanced. so those are basically just emails that go out helping people to live more ethically and sustainably. so that promotes the ethical fashion guide through that channel as well. and then basically just around the time of the launch of the guide and report, we will do lots of media interviews and try and generate a lot of chatter around that time. id say thats probably the peak of our engagement. then it kind of drops off. 

With your process of working with the companies to find out what, what kind of is your process working with the companies to find out their grade? 

so, the engagement process starts off with a bunch of companies who we have worked with before. and we say “hey the survey is coming around again, just checking if you want to participate?” and usually they will say yes, cool send us the survey we will get started. So that will be older companies and then we will have new companies that we introduce, basically we see maybe if theres a gap in the market, maybe we have only got one baby wear company, and we want 4 so we will add a few more to that category or something like that. so its new people that we want to include, we will send them a letter saying “you have been included in the ethical fashion guide, there is two streams you can go down, either we can collaborate and we will go through a process of filling out the survey together - there will be two check points and then final submission” so basically we explain the engagement process and then we say  “if you choose not to participate, we will still assess you on public available information. let us know what you want to do.” we often hear back from them saying “we want to know more about it” and thats where we would have a company meeting. we basically try to be a collaborative as possible because  of so much that we do can be easily misconstrued - beavsue it seems like a scary thing right? to get a letter being like you're gonna be assessed. but we want it to be way more collaborative than that and not a freaky thing. we will sit down with people and explain exactly how it works. when someone chooses to participate, we have countless meetings with them, countless phone calls, i will sit down and explain question by question, tell them exactly what they need to submit. so the engagement process is really collaborative. 

so they fill out the survey, which has 5 sections that you will know. Policies, traceability and transparency, auditing and supplier relationships, worker empowerment and environmental management. so they are assessed on all 5 sections. the 5 sections have different weightings so both policies and the environment are weighted at 10%. auditing and supplier relationships and traceability and transparency is 20%. and then worker empowerment is the bigger section at 30%. 

what a company does, is that go through the survey, they answer either yes or no, depending on what the question asked, a lot of the time with the more heavily weighted sections, because they are worth more, we require quite a bit more evidence. so we ask them to provide things such as order reports, for example there will be a question in there that is saying “do you pay living wage?”  and we will need a payslip from one of the factories to give evidence that they actually do.

although that it is a self reporting tool that companies fill out themselves with help of us, its not something that they can just sit and that and then get an easy grade for cause they like ticked the box. they have to do a lot more work beyond just saying they are doing what they are doing. basically after all that, and once we are happy with their answers, there is final submission. they submit, we mark it, and then give it a grade. basically the grade are just a percentage of the score that they got based on the grading template. thats basically it for them.

with the non -responsive companies, we just dig around for what information we can find that publicly available - so reports on their website, maybe like a code of conduct on their website, that sort of thing. when you will see an F, thats basically someone has little or nothing, and we can’t find anything else so we just give them a grade like that. 

Annabelle

[wallkickswillwork]

signal jamming

incoherency is comforting because of the narrative weve been fed our whole entire lives that in order to be palatable media must in some way be complete and have beveled, well-defined edges rather than being a mess of finger paints, bright colors, strange dialogues and verbiage, build trees of moods.

thoughts on: -futuristic anime, 90s anime and the unique sense of mood in toonami shows. they are a very good series of shows for people who are coming of age and who must slowly be forced to reckon with the industrialization and mercenary nature of adult life, as it is increasingly held captive by capitalism. there is also something essentially spiritual about it, especially shows like precure and dbz, where an interior or exterior-made-interior force is responsible for the protagonists' success in the face of an oppressive world-system. under capitalism, it frequently is the case that the entire world or entirety-of-world is against us. heroes must overcome overwhelming odds to leave their mark on a gauntlet of greats. -cowboy bebop, final fantasy 7, metroid as meditations on loss, urbanization, dating back to blade runner. this is a type of meditation that is present in much of cyberpunk, but its also not exclusively cyberpunk, and can extend in nature to non-cyberpunk works.

thinking about necrobarista and how its attempting to "resuscitate" anime, while this approach doesnt really examine what contemporary anime like jojos, precure, and slightly more dated anime like hidaske and nichijou do well. if we get all this tunnel vision for gurren lagann and flcl we can never look forward. i think a lot of the visual work that needs to be done is probably in movies. i think maybe there could be work done to marry cinema proper with its animated counterpart. steven universe seems like it gets it, and there are some anime that really seemed like they got it. i dont think were beyond salvation.

-listening to the whos "tommy" and thinking about how trauma and the humanity of that trauma is experienced and lived-through by the main character in socratic fashion. these stories are discussed by people whose actual, authentic experience of trauma irl is doubtful at best. they are great successes on stage who dont struggle in the sense that an actual victim would struggle. calls to mind how a lot of freuds patients would fabricate csa in order to fulfill the expectations of the therapist. but in other cases, actual patients with csa would repress their experiences or not feel comfortable discussing. so thats how i feel about gurus like meher baba or i guess alan watts. less trustworthy and more like scam artists. i do believe in what they teach, however. i think that a guru can teach the truth even if that guru is a liar. maybe its the truth, but the guru doesnt know it to be true, or else, the way the guru teaches it is untrue.

-for a while i imagined my own autism to be the result of childhood trauma that was repressed, but later emerged that those memories were fabricated, to my knowledge, and was left wondering.

-learning to regard the world with a sense of wonder from media like cowboy bebop and ff7. these worlds are jaded and decaying realities but there is a sense of awe at the vast, uncompromising reality. truly vast, sprawling and yawning cities and vast starry skies up above. beholding these things and beholding the starry skies and huge cities of our own planet surely stirs something in me.

-fantasy anime tends to go the joke route like slayers or else the route of "we are all kids, bro, stuck in an mmo" and i think this is mostly due to the admittedly antiquated setting of high fantasy in european trochets and history which to japanese people probably feel like white person set dressing and as they should, i mean. there are more high fantasy themes in something like inuyasha and japans history can be feudal, edo, the meiji restoration, primordial like princess mononoke, etc, so theres more wiggle room for historical works there. slayers et al is usually reduced to "characters moving around the forest" which is almost like this grand slice of the collective anime consciousness as it stands overlapping with, say, pokemon, to the extent where its one of the cliche anime things everyone thinks about, alongside high school, robots, nurses, etc.

-another thing to which we could probably ascribe the success of something like slayers to is wizardry and by proxy dragon quest. small graph paper monster garden games. the appeal is entirely mathematical so there are only a few directions that anime directors tend to run with it (goofy gag comedy if youre making a show or cut and dried authentic dungeon crawlers with moe characters instead of the usual dbz ones). going off what you definitely learn in japanese history class if youre a japanese student, for starters, there are thousands of years of chinese history, so you have romance of 3 kingdoms type stuff. or you have high school romances accounting for the various fire emblems where the appeal becomes game of thronesy "which of my characters in dragon quest land can i make kiss each other and myself", very good ground to cover as we start asking the important questions. theres samurai stuff as we already know, drawing on years of samurai media, kurosawas films and zen spirituality, art of the blade type stuff, jeet kune do in some instances and reaching so far afield as to probably raise some interesting and important questions about pan-asiatic cultural identity which this author (white) is ill-advised to answer. but reeling it back in, the question mostly being of history, and how a lot of fantasy media draws more from History proper as a codified cultural body than histories being individuated familial experiences. its true that when a work does something unique with history (earthbounds hippy dippy approach to the 1960s, undertales handling of furry culture, yume nikkis south american murals) its tended to be seen as that works "thing" as if because hulk hogan was an all american wrestler that precluded john cena from being same, or at least, embodying a similar if slightly modified niche. nobody can make a hippy dippy rpg now or something because itd just be called an earthbound ripoff rather than a loving homage. and i think thats wrong headed and how genres become stillborn rather than invented and developed upon. we have this vast morass of stuff from the 20th century and we could be developing various 60s, 70s, 80s fantasies. hindsight is 20/20 i guess. who knows, we could see bluff city become something in 50 years time.

i feel this is because of extreme stringent expectations of intellectual property laws and their dissemination into everyday discourse online. i dont really like or agree with monolithic cultural expectations like intellectual property or *shudder* advertising, but only to the extent where i can acknowledge that whether or not i agree with them is irrelevant to their all-consuming scope and the need for marxists to actively combat them. its one thing to say "x is bad" and another to clamor for urgency of fighting x, which is, if you believe what we read every day about global warming, too late, so its not important. nevertheless there are a multiplicity of settings that could be developed into genres and identities and ideologues that rarely are if only because it would be seen as "oh yeah like that other thing". people are fickle and develop dwarflike strange moods when it comes to defining what constitutes original versus hackneyed and derivative. i think its mostly dictated by star signs and the weather.

so lately if you follow me on twitter youve probably noticed im doing sort of a tweet concrete kind of thing where i post plaintext quotes from various media taken out of context. i decided to do this for a while, maybe a few weeks, because aesthetic blogs and the aesthetic style of blogging allow me to pool and channel my energies towards larger and more ambitious styles of writing. i usually get loaded on caffeine during this process and frequently watch large amounts of anime and meditate some. its definitely a process and its geared toward something hazily, vaguely spiritual but with pretentions toward being authentically publishable as theory. the idea also being i would like to make some money to support my livelihood, and i like to write, and am somewhat skilled at it, or at least experienced in kind of a ramshackle homespun sort of way. so if my social media presence is pretty boring and kind of weirdly nostalgic or else contrariwise if you feel it has improved lately thats the reason why that happened.

ive been getting very hazy and foggy mentally lately. i feel like it has to do with caffeination and lack of sleep. its important to get everything flowing properly, and sometimes depression and anxiety make that difficult to do. theres anxiety over unemployment, something im trying to remedy, and theres anxiety over theory and where to proceed next via theory. for years i was a devout buddhist in some ways, and meditated a lot, almost every day. i prayed to the bodhisattvas and copped to buddhist metaphysics, something which, based around personal life experience, i had every reason to believe was true. lately and in my own, strange way, ive begun to question this ideology and interpret it as part of a patchwork of ideologies, each one which attempts to describe a totality, a totality which is rarely if ever described properly by any ideology. grasping at straws in a structural sense, and feeling nonplussed but with no ground to run to, and im back on the boss level in super mario 64 where bowser smashes the ground to make it fall away. attempts at restructuring as this dissolution transpires only serve to create new protocols equal in scope to pre-existing paradigms. and there are plenty of people who dont struggle this much with religion and probably still go to heaven, or think theyre going to heaven, or something. hows marge and the kids. did jerry get that new promotion. mom just got back from vacation in cancun. smalltalk style concerns arising in every day transitionary speech feel distinct and very distant from these kind of hazy, pie in the sky questions. plato never wrote about the kind of stuff you see in a cheers episode. there are philosophy books that try to merge the two, but they usually get shelved in the comedy section.

so its mostly a matter of trying to absorb and contain new information, which abides in abundance, and trying to corral it into sort of a pointing arrow to direct me where to go, in my hewing, a feat not easily done. probably the endgame is in the crafting and solution of art, but what kind of art, and whether i have the tools at my disposal to even create it, is less easily answered. so for now, i guess, im absorbing, waiting, asking questions, and who knows, and who can say.

earliest memories of religion are of the greco roman religion and not knowing about the mystery religious rites but knowing about an abstract concept of wisdom and the ocean and extrapolating the existence of athena and poseidon in that way. later i have memories of exposure to christianity and buddhism and bahai but none of these things feel particularly useful to me at this time in my life. i can more readily receive a picture, a kind of enlarged image, of a broad religious landscape and some of the questions it attempts to provide answers for, or at least, a way of thinking about. the greco roman religion, for instance, is a presentation of a deleuzian multiplicity, and the monotheistic religions are a monad, but i also dont think either of these things can say the other is inherently undesireable. tolerance seems to be the best method, but also, and likewise, not dwelling specifically in any of them. acknowledging they all exist, but not being any of them. enjoying in surfeit the tension between multiplicity and monad. that there can be many things and one thing. like the album cover of dark side of the moon.