#thats the tragedy of it and why he hates his ex so much

[drinkingteainthedark]

Ngl, Yingxing was a little silly stupid. He really trusted a man that dealt with his friends death by doing unethical science to not make him immortal? Down horrendous.

Clearly, the real reason his eyes turned red is because he slam dunked those rose coloured glasses right onto his face with all his craftsman arm strength the moment he caught a glimpse of a red flag.

[maschotch]

I’m watching 10x20 and “I make a mistake, a change of clothes fixes that. You make a mistake, and I lose my daughter” Jesus CHRIST and also how did Roy know that Haley basically died because of hotch🤨🤨 he’s not wrong but how did he Know

roy probably knew at least a little about the situation when haley went into witness protection; with his daughter and grandchild in hiding for who knows how long and his ex-son-in-law’s face splayed over the papers, im sure even if that was all he knew that it would be enough to realize this was hotch’s fault. hotch also doesnt seem like someone who would try to hide it. i bet he probably pulled roy aside at/around the funeral and told him what happened. considering he already knew haley’s struggles with hotch’s work, plus hotch likely taking more of the blame than he should, it’s not surprising for roy to hold hotch responsible for his daughter’s death

thats genuinely such a fucked up line tho oh my god akdhsjd roy was NOT pulling his punches with that one. but again, im not really surprised that he would grow bitter and resentful towards the easiest target—especially since hotch blames himself for it too. he hates himself for what happened nearly as much as roy does. (its also highly probably that roy blames himself as well, thinking “why did i let her get involved with him,” and “why couldnf i protect my own daughter.” hotch is an outlet for roy’s guilty conscience—something he likely already knows and accepts as part of his penance. he doesnt think he deserves to be forgiven, and he’s not so cowardly as to make excuses).

im not sure if its more or less fun if hotch had always had a strained relationship with roy, or if the gap between them came from anger and bitterness over this tragedy. theres a special kind of drama that comes from haley’s father/family not approving her marriage. if haley and jess spent their time defending hotch from their parents’ scrutiny, i think it adds an extra layer of hurt for roy, jess, AND hotch when roy gets to say “i told you so” at his daughter’s grave. but i think theres also something to be said about roy and hotch having a relatively normal relationship (likely distanced since the divorce, but still not at the point of outright hatred), but this even being enough to completely shatter that. im never quite sure which one is more interesting: especially given what we know about roy’s good nature. has hotch always been on roy’s bad side or has hotch finally done enough to earn the wrath of a good man?

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost. 

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along. 

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was. 

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder. 

----

3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation. 

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it  was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects. 

13: Thats exactly what they did. 

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay. 

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos. 

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you? 

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat. 

------

3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked. 

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly. 

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess. 

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

[carebooks]

[3.01] legacies, why?

first off, why is Alyssa still a student?

she legit sent the headmaster and his daughters to a dangerous prison world because of some rivalry of mean girl-ness with Lizzie?

well, she also did discover the prison worlds when she was a kid and Alaric and Emma mind wiped her or something which left her with a bad impression on them both since they threatened to send her there because of ‘bad behavior’ likeeeee which is why she included him in the spell but she endangered two *at the moment* innocent teenagers cuz of a damn rivalry, she wasn't taken over by dark magic or anything that was all her, she coulda just sent Alaric and Emma if she were there too

then again, one could also ask why the fuck is Josie still a student when she literally killed another one and attempted to kill her own sister too. we'll get to her later

i hope Kaleb and Jed just stay friends that eventually turns into a relationship bc i cant handle them fighting over this toxic undeserving girl

Like, pls, don't have them still be into this girl, it isn't a good idea

the worst part of it is she's the only Asian female representation (except for Kaylee, but you know what I mean, Josie is portrayed as white while Alyssa Chang is not) on the show and she's the mean girl everyone hates, like come on people

Chad’s a total broni, he really wanted that pegasus

why are Maliwhore monsters still coming?

Dammit Julie Plec, I thought we talked about this.

Honestly you know what? I would've been fine if they just started the season a few months in the future and they made a small comment about Maliwhore and how they fixed it, just deus ex machina style, it's over and done time for new big bads and new plots

landon being stubborn to be brought back was so funny for some reason

FOR FUCKS SAKE JULIE PLAGUE STOP USING THE WORDS 'HERO' and 'BAD GUY' IN YOUR SHOW

Raf legit said Hope was in a 'hero coma' and Landon dying a 'hero's death' all leads to tragedy and Landon was like 'can't let the bad guy win'

for fucks sake

THIS ISN'T A SUPERHERO SHOW I THINK ACTUAL SUPERHERO SHOWS HAVE USED THESE KEY WORDS LESS

and

in other news, Wade remains one of my favorites,

Alaric just happened to have the actual sword of Excalibur? really?

well the green knight showed up after nimue, lady of the lake and the sword just got stuck in a rock

im seriously considering starting a petition for Julie Plague to just fucking listen to the fans about what we actually wanna see on this show

everyone just ran away asdfgjkllh

pedro just stepped up, love him, but the key is to limit his appearances to keep it up, if you use his running gag on the show too much it's just bland after a while

oh my god, Jed, stop being into Alyssa, you're clearly meant to be with Kaleb

how much you wanna bet Nimue is evil too? (i was wrong, but she was def annoying)

the reaction the kids had when nimue said 'or your world will be plunged into darkness' and kaleb just laughed, that was perfect and MG adding 'we've dealt with this before, a lot'

like, yep, that's how you know it's getting old

Julie, stop using 'end of the world' as a reason for the kids to do something it's so boring and anti-climactic cuz guess what? we KNOW they're gonna win and the world'll be fine

oh gods, you people are so reliant on Hope

for fucks sake, it's worse when it's Alaric that delivers that line like you're a grown ass man who's been in this game for decades, you've seen it all, and yet you've come to rely on a 17 year old to do everything for you

no wonder she wants to stay asleep

Alyssa leaving and saying 'Good luck beating one without me' ?????

tf, that's what they've been doing since??like?? always??

so apparently you can only wield the sword if you have kings blood in your veins and even though she isn't actually royalty, Hope is sorta royalty in the werewolf community and her dad was the king of New Orleans, so i guess what im trying to say is she's totally a princess and she coulda wielded it

ok, if im disappointed by everything in this season (and according to the first ep i have no doubt i will be)

the only requirment i have for this season is for Hope wolfing out at least once, that's all i ask for this season, not a plot that makes sense, not a lack of superhero bullshit, not even a good villain, just Hope wolfing out

wait, so is Raf like royalty too? that's actually not bad, he and Hope coulda been such a power couple

landon kissed her and she woke up

thats so stupid

thats so stupid

thats so stupid

thats so stupid

AND legit in contrast of their previous ep where Hope legit says 'im not kissing someone sleeping, consent is a real thing'

wow, Julie, letting them have their fairytale moment but nothing for Hosie huh?

her waking up because she doesnt want to face the grief was so boring, why not make it an actual foe going after her?? some magical problem i mean?? it feels like they left on a biggie like she's not waking up and its a big deal but next thing you know it's not a magic problem or a foe, she just doesnt wanna face grief, ffs

its good that josie's leaving to get better, otherwise her whole plot in the show woulda been her being sad and not wanting to help out cuz she's scared of herself and getting picked on so yeah

what-

lizzie you didnt ruin the field day, a monster did that, relax

OH GODS SHE DID NOT JUST GIVE HIM A SUPERHERO NAME

UGHHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD HOPE AND LANDON STOP TALKING ABOUT SUPER SQUAD AND BAT SIGNALS

GODSDAMMIT

klaus mikaelson would be so disappointed in this show

you know what i'd like to see?

some goddammed consequences

like let the kids mess up and have actual tragedies happen in town that they have to deal with

honestly the writers don't know a good thing even when the whole fandom is literally yelling it at them

[beauzoleils]

ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     

HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  

let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :

a  pinterest  board !

a  stats  page !

and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 

anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀

alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 

( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )

natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  

also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 

michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there

but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual

meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal

natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .

somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 

which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 

on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .

she’s  right .

( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )

a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .

( end  tw )

her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 

they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the  only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .

so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  

( tw :  suicide  mention )

michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .

( end  tw ) 

so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  

she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .

and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .

so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .

fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom

if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM

she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it

the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 

rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !

she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  

very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .

she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 

someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 

she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  

very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  

but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay

big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her

also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that

it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 

but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 

but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .

EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?

give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time

i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense  that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !

@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 

idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?

okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,

she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 

i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 

okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !

if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 

[fortheloveofcringe]

n e e d y //

I could go and write something where people would look up to me like a success story. That’s always a way to prove you’re something in the society you live in. It’s the easier choice, to make people feel like there is hope and success at the end of the dark tunnel but then people tend to overlook or push-back, the fact that there are things that happen along the road, they happen at the scariest time and moments in your life and never do these “people” who I have dealt with bother to feel it unless it needs to be felt. It’s like emotion these days has to have an on and off button. That’s scares me a lot, but then these days I’ve been thinking, being scared doesn’t do nothing to me, it just make me fight more, even after so much downfall and rejection.

Rejection, I’m going to touch bases with this one. Something I’ve dealt with my entire life. From my paternal grand parents making me feel like an abomination just because I was gay and no one in the bloodline has to be gay, or to the most fresh wound I have, which marks it’s first month today, me being single, after such a wonderful, scary and inspiring relationship with Timothy.

 You know something, perhaps I’m writing this as a formal closure to that chapter in my life because for so long I have been writing about so much sad stuff in the cloud of anger that I just want to get things off my chest differently which is to address this in a way where I’m the monster, and I’m not anymore pointing my fingers to the monsters in my story. I can’t even believe I called myself a monster right just about now.

 Anyway, Timothy, if you would read previous entries you might get the idea of a modern day fairy tale relationship. None of my wildest dreams per say. I adored him so much that it just hurt us both, badly. To cut the long story short. He just never needed me the way I needed him. It sucks. To just throw dreams of having a bright future with someone out of the window just because it hurts your eyes and you want to do a reality check but I guess that’s why we have sunglasses, they say it protects the eyes. I never realized some eyeglasses are fake and just do nothing but leave marks on your nose.

 Needy. I’m needy. I’ve been crying and going crazy for weeks now. This has been such a wild ride with him that looking back now I just feel like everything we had was just from a book. A Novel, a fictional one. I wish him the best however it just makes me feel a certain way knowing I have suffered more than he did. It’s like all the entire time I believe he had some reservations about us and he knew we are not going to work out and a few puzzle pieces come into my mind to support this claim. One, he never formally introduced me to his family because I think he never wanted them involved when it all crashes down unlike mine where my family had known him and are angry and tears knowing I almost tore my relationships with them just to have Timothy by my side. Two, being with him, despite the care and the love, felt like a love prison, for both of us. What I mean is I felt like he was just faking it to make sure he complied with the “ideal boyfriend” persona he describes himself as because there are moments when he had rolled his eyes at me to the back of his skull thinking “Hambert is not really worth it”. Three, and last, in support of number two, He admitted he wanted someone else. Not me. I’m glad I had so much time to make sure I have figure out the science of persuasion that I figured out a way to make him spill the truth to me and I have to say it was fucked up. Imagine being with a person beside you while his mind is off sucking someone else’s dick. That felt like boiling water in my freshly healed heart. Because I think breaking up is fine, sure some relationships need a time-off, but to know who’s replacing you? that’s just fucked up.

 This is where I got really and intensely angry at him that I made sure we really would hate each other after the end because my good side tried to patch things up with him even though it made me look so desperate running through their doors just to give him a movie or something so he wouldn’t be wasting time or whatever, but the bad side of me just wanted to get even so I made sure that I did some stupid things that actually, in the end, bought me peace of mind and of course some insights to process my pain.

 I met his the girl he dated before me. Which he just ghosted. I did that to catch his attention which ended up me having blocked by him on social media. My point of meeting this girl, besides my petty brain, was to make sure I erase this picture of him that I painted in my head, which was a handsome prince who picked roses for me every morning just to make sure I don’t dance in stems of thorns. Timothy was such a great man that he also made sure I would feel like nobody would care for me the way he cared. Which was debugged when I and Venus, the ex of my ex, had lunch over spaghetti, taco’s and the dick we both had in our mouths (and by dick we mean by attitude or literally, whichever comes first to your mind) When we talked I realized he has a cruel way of making sure you wouldn’t compare him to anyone. And the way he twisted their story to me, because when we spoke I realized Tim was such a liar he had to make her look thirsty for him and no woman should be painted that way, ever. That conversation I believe healed us both in a way were now, we’re friends and shit-talking about a guy full of shit which basically catered to what I want which was to make sure all of the good pictures in my head was crossed check for what is the actuality of who he was. In that moment me and Venus realized we were both used as a gateway for his lust to a guy named Gwen. I can’t call it love because I’m sure Tim has not have the opportunity to connect with Gwen on a deeper level so fuck fake smiles here, people.

 Who I thought was the man, that I’m willing to go through with all the hardships in my life, who would support me, and help me grow, turned to be a complete poser. This was hard for me because I know him in way that not Venus knows and I know very well that he’s a broken soul, but there is no rational reason to justify his pain to be carried over to his present life knowing well that he is old enough to fuck us both, and for him to be running around and break the hearts of people who loves him.

 What also bothered me was the fact tat he was just so ready to move on to the next page of his life which was by trajectory, was Gwen, and that he never muttered a word that would have potentially brought us back together. He was just so “Please I need new dick in my mouth I’m bored of you because you’re  a pain in the ass”.

 Pain in the ass was also one thing that he couldn’t handle. He never wanted anal with me. Now, I don’t know why but I have a strong feeling that would have it been Gwen to offer to top him, I’m sure he’d squat in less than a second. Forgive my bitterness overflowing in each word here, if you’ve been in so much pain, you might understand.

 The world isn’t big enough because this Gwen guy is a close friend of my friend Argie. Now long story short Gwen doesn’t do boys, or so he claims. Tim got dumped and now it’s a double whammy for our pretty boy Tim who thinks everyone is gonna drool for him. I hate him though. That Gwen guy, he haven’t done no shit. I can’t like him because he’s the friend of my friend and I know it’s not his fault, but sometimes disliking people just don’t need to be justified, we just feel the way we feel.

 I hate knowing he was my replacement just in case he was into boys because he’s manly, skinnier and lanky (as Tim admitted he like those kind of boys, one where he could pose as a pedophile) short, and it makes me more bitter going to work everyday passing their 3-story house making it feel like a slap to me for coming from a poor family. It was like “Hambert, your replacement is a handsome, skinny guy whose rich and that’s what our high maintenance Tim boy wants, bye, you deserve to be left, so sorry but not sorry, go ahead and die.”

 Got a chance to talk to him though and I think he’s smart from staying off the dirt because I would drag him in the mud with Tim on top of him so they could finally get to fuck one another for making me and Venus shed tears.

 Let me tell you one thing though. And this is fucked up. I still love him.

 I still feel his kisses on my lips. His face in my chest. The scent of his hair or his subtle way of putting his nose on my shoulders in the jeep. This is what breaks me to tears like right now. Because knowing I can’t have that anymore. It’s feels like death and I’ve had a fair share of losing people and tragedies from living so poor, not eating to being accused of wrong things, to be bullied in work or having my grandmother die while I’m carrying her to the hospital or maybe even growing up without a father, but I think this has been the greatest pain I’ve dealt with. To be in tears because of love.

 And I can go ahead and make stories about how I successfully dodged a bullet. But to be fair, I know that in those nights I spent with with him, the love we shared, I know he’s the love of my life and there could never be anyone. Because now I’m scared to be loved and be in love. I can’t embrace something that broke me.

 I’m now employed ans still studying. Things seem fine. I’m walking on a fire pit but I’m still alive.

 However if there is one more song we can bond over, just one last, I wish I can sing Ariana’s “Needy” to him. Just to make him understand. How good it feels to be needed.

[toastling]

So some friends of mine and I got to talking about Bee Movie and I wrote some sequels

[1:29:26 AM] lau: she left this man for bee jerry seinfeld [1:30:38 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: that bee couldnt even pleasure her in any way [1:30:47 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: can he kiss her??? rub her back??? [1:30:53 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: no. he cant bc hes a BEE [1:32:46 AM] Sol: http://protectbuckybarnesatallcosts.tumblr.com/post/142880693709/jibblyuniverse-ptsdgriffin-killuav [1:32:48 AM] lau: kri you innocent soul you haven't read the fanfiction [1:33:22 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: IM TALKING ABOUT LIKE, IN ACTUALITY [1:33:28 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: FANFICTION DOESNT COUNT [1:33:52 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: Sol please [1:34:08 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: also id bee terrified of him crawling inside me? what if he suffocates and dies [1:34:12 AM] Sol: You asked [1:34:21 AM] Sol: KRI STOP [1:34:21 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: i dont want to have to excavate a dead body from my vag [1:34:34 AM] Sol: THE UNIVERSE CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH BEE PUNNERY [1:34:49 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: thats a shame dude beecause were talking abt bee movie [1:35:07 AM] lau: fanfiction has this figured out. air tanks, kri, air tanks [1:35:14 AM] Sol: Wut [1:35:53 AM] Toast: Vanessa is actually the reincarnation of Cleopatra and her ex is a reincarnation of her high priest. Barry is not the first bee she's looped into this little scam of hers. She seeks out bees with the right qualities and eventually traps them in a jar so that she can recreate the greatest vibrator the world has ever known and achieve ultimate pleasure as the amassed bees vibrate at just the right frequency due to her clever and specific selection process.

However, in Bee Movie, something new happened, and she fell for one of the bees who was supposed to be just a means to an end. She severed her tie to her reincarnating high priest after realizing how much of a dick he really was and fell more and more for bee Jerry Seinfeld. But in the end, she could not resist the temptation, the pleasure. Barry was the last piece of the vibrator puzzle in this reincarnation cycle. So she trapped him, too, and that was the end of their relationship.

At last, her quest was complete.

And that's how Bee Movie 2 would've ended. [1:36:04 AM] Sol: What [1:36:09 AM] Sol: The [1:36:12 AM] Sol: Fuck [1:36:27 AM] lau: there used to a game in our friend group was to find the weirdest fanfiction and try reading in without laughing. there was a bee movie bee smut fic that involved barry b benson diving inside of vanessa with air tanks [1:36:50 AM] Sol: Now we how Ford came to be [1:36:54 AM] Sol: *know how [1:37:02 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: hey James do you accept criticism on your messages [1:37:06 AM] Toast: No [1:37:18 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: too fucking bad here it is: shooting me wouldve been better [1:37:22 AM] lau: reading weird fan fiction around the lunch table is my origin story [1:37:33 AM] Toast: I hope at least Ford had fun with that one [1:37:34 AM] Sol: Why do you even ask Kri, we know what you're going to say [1:37:42 AM] Toast: I had fun writing it imagining your reactions [1:38:06 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOL [1:38:12 AM] lau: oh yeah it ends with barry discovering a human fetus in her womb before stinging it to abort it and also killing himself out of anger [1:38:21 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: WHAT THE FUCK LAUREN [1:38:28 AM] Sol: THE FUCK [1:38:29 AM] lau: and then it turns out he was on a prank show [1:38:30 AM] Sol: The fuckd [1:38:31 AM] Sol: Fdnrnnf [1:38:37 AM] Sol: THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK [1:38:38 AM] Toast: he ded tho [1:38:49 AM] lau: with ashton Kutcher who implanted the fake fetus to prank barry [1:38:56 AM] Sol: FORD [1:39:07 AM] Sol: IM WITH KRI [1:39:10 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: Sol will you please end my suffering [1:39:13 AM] Sol: SHOOT ME [1:39:15 AM] Toast: Ford has improved my draft of Bee Movie 2 [1:39:23 AM] lau: NO [1:39:23 AM] Sol: SHOOT ME FIRST [1:39:28 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: we can do it together like hold hands and jump off a cliff or like cyanide [1:39:34 AM] Sol: I CANT OWN A GUN ANYWAY [1:39:35 AM] lau: I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS [1:40:10 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: Sol i dont have a gun either [1:40:39 AM] Sol: FORD YOU POSTED [1:40:44 AM] Sol: THAT [1:40:53 AM] Sol: YOU DONT GET TO SAY ANYTHING [1:41:06 AM] Toast: What if Vanessa fell in love with a talking gun after her tryst with Barry ended and as she and the gun were doing it she accidentally pulled the trigger would that be fucked up or what [1:41:24 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: James [1:41:28 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: for the love of god [1:41:30 AM] Toast: I feel like this is something that would happen today in Texas in real life [1:41:38 AM] lau: i mean as a group we've seen worse fanfics [1:41:40 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: can you just for fucking once please think before you hit enter [1:41:44 AM] Toast: No [1:41:44 AM] Sol: THE GUN PREMATURELY FIRES [1:41:51 AM] Sol: FUCK [1:41:54 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: im leaving all of you [1:44:33 AM] Toast: Vanessa didn't finish writing her will before the premature firation, so instead of bequeathing all of her belongings to her secret lover Jerry Seinfeld, who exists in this world independent of Barry B. Benson who had his voice but is now dead, they get bequeathed to a guy named Jerry Sein instead, who now must figure out what to do with this loudly buzzing jar and a talking gun with night terrors and survivor's guilt. [1:45:01 AM] Toast: Bee Movie 3, bam [1:45:24 AM] Toast: "bam" is part of the title, in reference to the talking gun, whose name is Bam Bam. No relation to the Flintstones character of the same name. [1:45:36 AM] Sol: https://youtu.be/tLLKMiVL3O8 [1:45:40 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: James if you make one more post about this im leaving the group [1:45:51 AM] Sol: The ant Man post had me thinking about this short. [1:45:56 AM] Toast: ): [1:46:00 AM] Toast: I'm having fun god damn it [1:47:54 AM] Sol: WAIT TOAST, WHO GHE FUCK DOESNT FINISH WRITING THEIR WILL IN SUCH A MANNER THEY DONT FUCKING FINISB A NAME [1:48:58 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: THEY BLEED OUT YOU FUCK [1:48:58 AM] Toast: I could explain this but Kri is already standing on the edge [1:49:09 AM] Sol: WHAT IS SHE DOINF [1:49:14 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: WHO IS SHE [1:49:19 AM] Sol: WRITING THE WILL DURING BEE SEX [1:49:28 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: IT WAS GUN SEX YOU FUCK [1:49:30 AM] Toast: Yes that's what she's doing except it's a gun [1:49:44 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: James u can explain the stuff uve already wrriten just please [1:49:47 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: no bee movie 4 ideas [1:49:51 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: jesus fucking christ [1:49:54 AM] Sol: WHAT KIND OF FUCKING PROTECTION. IS THAT [1:50:04 AM] Sol: LET ME JUST [1:50:16 AM] Sol: WRITE THE WILL WHEN IM HAVIG SEX WITH A GUN [1:50:21 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: NO SOL [1:50:22 AM] Sol: PERFRCT [1:50:25 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: SHE GOT SHOT [1:50:28 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: THEN WROTE THE WILL [1:50:33 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: AND DIED MID SENTENCE [1:50:53 AM] Sol: WILLS HAVE TO BE FUCKING SIGNED [1:50:53 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: BLEEDING OUT ISNT AN IMMEDIATE THING MY FRIEND [1:51:10 AM] Sol: AND YOURE ON YOUR DEATHBED WITH A TALKING GUN [1:51:20 AM] Toast: It was always going to end with Vanessa's death, this was her suicide plan all along and Bam Bam knew that. She couldn't bear to live anymore after Barry, knowing what she'd done to him and relegated him to. She released him from the jar but he was... broken. His mind was gone. The brilliant bee that she fell for was gone. So she enlisted Bam Bam to have some fun and also ensure her demise. Unfortunately, she didn't account for Bam Bam to fire prematurely. [1:51:24 AM] Sol: AND YOU LEAVE EVERYTHING TO JERRY FUCKING SEINFELD [1:51:46 AM] Toast: Jerry Seinfeld was her secret Real Lover hinted at in Bee Movie 2 and revealed at the end of Bee Movie 3. [1:51:59 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: GOD I HATE THIS [1:52:03 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: WHY WAS THIS BROUGHT UP AGAIN [1:52:12 AM] Sol: TOAST YOURE A SHIT WRITER. [1:52:38 AM] Toast: Bam Bam felt survivor's guilt because he knew what he'd done and he knew how it was going to end no matter what but knowing that it didn't go according to plan coupled with the weight of what he'd done shook him. It's really quite the tragedy. [1:52:49 AM] Toast: Then, in Bee Movie 4, [1:52:55 AM] Sol: IS TOAST CHUCK TINGLE [1:53:07 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: J A M E S [1:53:07 AM] Sol: IS HE USING THIS CHAT TO RUN BY ALL HIS IDEAS [1:53:10 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: NO BEE MOVIE FOUR [1:53:16 AM] Jarl Sex Party™: ENOUGH

[stormpainter]

==> Make up

Today at 3:51 PM wickedpainter hey

carnivalsorphans hey sorry i made ya upset. wickedpainter yeah

you okay?

carnivalsorphans i've been worse wickedpainter that aint an answer

carnivalsorphans the answer don't matter much just yet. you okay? wickedpainter shit matters to me. I aint as upset as last night

carnivalsorphans i still ain't really knowin what got ya upset. i mean, i know what made ya upset, i get that somethin bout me sayin i don't want you and lilac ta get together weren't right, but i don't know why. wickedpainter mm I dont talk to people much dont got many friends no lovers to speak of even if I did I might be upset about someone tryina dictate who I can and cant be attracted to, who I'm allowed to get close with

carnivalsorphans ... i'm sorry. can see how it'd be a bigger deal for you than it is for me. wickedpainter yeah I actually care bout people

carnivalsorphans ... i was more talkin on how i got a fuck ton of lovers so it don't matter to me if two or three are removed from the list ... but yeah. i guess that too. wickedpainter all I've got is vel, tars grey ace

carnivalsorphans i'm. sorry. wickedpainter which is why we were in pale for a while, cause he doesnt do the sex, but my best friend's mates ace too so it just. It aint a big deal I'm bein dumb

carnivalsorphans didn't. mean ta make ya all upset. was probably gonna tell ya soon if lilac didn't. wickedpainter yeah I gathered that shit

carnivalsorphans it had come up cuz i fucked his ex. and shit got... weird. wickedpainter whys it matter to anyone who someone sleeps with

am I supposed to avoid any motherfucker you sleep with cause I'm gatherin thats everyone

carnivalsorphans no!

carnivalsorphans i just. got a thing bout non fuckin quads and fuckin quads mixin. if sugary was able to fuck, i'd feel uneasy on you sleepin with her too. and. ... i mean, it ain't a fuckin end of relationship deal. it just makes me uneasy. and i was tryinna get lilac ta see it was alright ta have a few nos if it poisons the relationship for me ta be plowin people. like his ex. so i had ta figure someone to put on the list. ... and it just. makes me uneasy ta have quads overlap. specially fuckin and non fuckin. but that's the reason i hate when kankri sticks his nose in mine and lilac's business, and why i'm stayin away from vel like he's the damn plague. and why i fuckin leave the room any time lilac or val talk about fuckin eachother.

carnivalsorphans and. it's just my pan fuckin up. and i'm sorry. wickedpainter ..sounds like some shit we ought to jam on sometime

carnivalsorphans ... i was plannin on it. i just. don't always remember shit too well. and lilac's fuckin stupid, and it seems like half the problems we have are involvin sex, and it's... weird, a bit, ta me ta talk to you bout my sex life. so it just. hadn't come up yet. wickedpainter look I aint got a lot of people I know an the only clade I ever observed that was any kinda healthy, an I know mine aint, everyones quaddin everyone else, an they just fuckin, let serendipity do its thing

what alls happened upsets lilac bout sex an you?

carnivalsorphans motherfuck that's a tangled mess of fuckery.

carnivalsorphans ... it feels like submission, for me ta bottom. so i don't do it often. gotta like... trust a motherfucker, before i'm up to it. but i got ta trustin lilac, and i wanted it ta be... earned, i guess. fun. a challenge. so i told him he could fuck me if he beat me in a fight. and then that whole shit storm with kankri and sugar sis happened, and before that i was considerin let kankri go down on me, and i figured i might as well do it as a show of trust since i was thinkin on it anyway. then HE gets it into his head ta fuckin TEASE ME bout how sensitive i am on it and how it makes me color, like it's the funniest goddamn thing, which really pisses a motherfucker off to be gods damned honest.

and then lilac gets upset about that. fucks off a while. next time we fight, he don't try so hard. then there's two of him, and they win, and they just have me tie em up.

then i fuck his ex, and apparently his ex cheated on him with one of his abusive alts and lied at him and a buncha shit, and he got upset, and then just. that whole conversation, bout boundaries and shit happened. and i had ta fuckin make him trust me at fuckin all for him to even tell me what the hell was goin through his pan.

and the whole thing with red ain't really been resolved but i ain't touchin him with a ten foot pole. and i know it bothers him when i sleep with val, but he fuckin INSISTS it don't matter, despite the fact he said yesterday he's got a thing for overlappin quads too.

and now, even though i've flat out fuckin told him, asked him ta fuck me before, he goddamn panics and gets all anxious about it cuz he fancies i ain't actually wantin it, i just wanna make him feel good. and it's just. goddamn he's stupid.

carnivalsorphans we've probably got in spats about four or five times by now. and it's all goddamn tangled in trust and boundaries and him not wantin to set em and me makin a big deal of how exactly i want gettin plowed to go down and relationships and.

carnivalsorphans plus i got kankri tryinna play clubs any time i just ask him for a lil advice on how the fuck lilac even thinks cuz i can't figure him out, and then lilac's talkin on bein ganged up on and i didn't even really want him to be involved at fuckin all. becuase he's a nosy little busybody who ain't got any damn sense of where his words are and aren't welcome. wickedpainter it aint so bad, layin out rules at the beginnin about what each session oughta be like. me an vel gotta negotiate sometimes, cause both us got fucky pans but we aint do somethin if we promise not to

hes prolly mistakin you gettin pissed about bein teased about somethin private for bein ashamed of a thing you aint wanna really do

I was gonna say you might wanna get an auspistice but definitely shouldnt be his rail, an it sounds like he dont feel like hes gettin heard a lot

also maybe don fuck valor just to see if you can get him to use his words and tell you to stop, unless you two are real sweet on each other or somethin

carnivalsorphans yeah, but it seems like lilac is so fuckin caught up on how bad he'd feel to put limits on me, he don't realize i don't give a fuck. and that if i don't got boundaries, i push limits until i find some.

we'd had a weird language dispute and i had said 'i'm willing but not ready' and i'd meant my bulge bein out and he'd thought i meant for nook things. and we ended up gettin in the biggest goddamn fight and now i think he's too damn antsy ta think on it no matter how much i tell him i really do want it. now i'm just... waitin for him ta realize it's fine.

we might wanna get an auspistice, but i can't think of who. and i DEFINITELY don't want it ta be valor. and i ain't fucked valor since the first big fight, even though we said we would since gam said he didn't mind. we got lots of overlappin interests, but honestly i get the feeling he'd fuck anyone with paint, and i got no shortage of lovers. plus his empathy makes me uneasy cuz i like bein private.

carnivalsorphans valor pisses me off honestly, he's just. fuck, he's annoyin. get the feelin he's tryinna lord over me and keep me all controlled every time we talk.

carnivalsorphans and any time i get upset anywhere he can see, he starts pryin real hard and bein all public bout it. wickedpainter communication is real important but usually I'm communicatin to vel not to bite my bulge off cause I like my bulge, so I aint got the kinda experiance you need to help with that shit

..tell Kankri you got a fuckin moirail publicly

carnivalsorphans hahahaha fuck yeah. fuck i don't know why i was so damn worried bout talkin at ya, i'm just. i love ya so much, brother, i'm sorry. wickedpainter love you too, an I appreciate that you apologized an accept it

carnivalsorphans OH. AND FUCKIN.... THAT NIGHT I WAS GODDAMN PANICKIN, VALOR TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND TRIED TA GET ME TA SAY IT BACK AT HIM. and just. messiahs damn him, there was a bitta misunderstandin but he just really wanted ta feel all ~cared about~ and like he ~mattered to me~ and he chose the fuckin night i was panickin and had ta get picked up by you to get all expectant at me ta say it.

carnivalsorphans and like. i do care bout him. my alt banned him from his church, but he's still faithful enough ta see tragedy, and he painted up for the funeral and gave em a sacrifice and shit.

carnivalsorphans so he's just as much family as any other faithful. but god damn he pisses me off so damn much. wickedpainter :o/

the fuck is he doin professin love like that he aint even a quad?

carnivalsorphans i think he's just the ~lovin~ type. and for him, lovin means bein up my ass all the time. could find the log if ya wanna see it. wickedpainter later I think, I aint gonna go confront him

Motherfucker needs to learn not everyones got the same feelins he does

carnivalsorphans lilac's told me he ~likes~ me, but like.... he don't. it don't... it don't feel the same. he just. he's so damn affectionate, and it's... so much different from how She used ta be.

carnivalsorphans and i... i don't love him. not like i love you. but i'm fond of him, like i'm fond of vel, and i wanna... wanna make shit work. wickedpainter I dont got much to base pitch shit on but me an vel an I know we're not healthy, but I think you an him'll work it out

carnivalsorphans .... i don't know what 'healthy' is supposed ta be, really. just know what my pusher tells me. and my pusher tells me he's... not a challenge, not really, cept in the way that he'll call me out if i'm bein 'bad'. but he just. .... he's a makara. and i wanna look out for him. and i wanna see him get better, and come into the faith, and come into himself. and he's fuckin SABOTAGIN HIMSELF along the way, and fuck if that ain't annoyin. and i had ta tell him my name weren't ringleader. he's so damn absentminded, it pisses me off. ... but he's real sweet too. just... it's. different. and it's nice. wickedpainter Mm. I love vel. did you know that shit?

carnivalsorphans yeah, i figured ya did. he seems ta like sayin it when he's doin rude shit or gonna bite you. wickedpainter lovin an hatin can happen at the same time, an I hear a lot of motherfuckers think thats what pitch ought to be like

he gets ..real chipper when hes manic, an when hes manic hes stabby

carnivalsorphans i. feel uneasy sayin 'love' when it ain't.... i don't really feel THAT romantic for him. i don't feel romantic for just bout anyone. cept you. and.... her. wickedpainter he apologized to me last night, seemed to think it was him sayin stuff that caused the fight and not that stuff was done

carnivalsorphans he does that. wickedpainter I hadda bug off though cause I wanted to say shit I shouldnt

carnivalsorphans thinks everythin is on his shoulders

carnivalsorphans ... what sorta shit? wickedpainter he said he aint never seen you worry about anyone the way you were gettin worked up about me an I told him polite like I needed to go

I werent

good last night, all kinda destructive impulses

vel coaxed me out huntin so I could kill somethin

carnivalsorphans i was all fuckin worried on ya, didn't know how ta help and i knew ya weren't good. wickedpainter and I didn tell him its cause you dont feel as strongly for no one else

carnivalsorphans ... think it's probably sorta obvious. wickedpainter it aint somethin I should say to him though

carnivalsorphans ... i love you. love you more than i got words ta say in all the languages i've learned. wickedpainter is it showtime yet? I caint keep my hours straight

carnivalsorphans not even close. wickedpainter you where I can curl up on you or busy?

carnivalsorphans i can get where you can curl up on me. wickedpainter 'd like that fora while

carnivalsorphans i'd move mountains for ya, i can sure as fuck find a private place ta be cuddled at. wickedpainter <>

..magine we both had bad nights, I'm sorry for it

carnivalsorphans <> <> <> ... i just. chilled with lilac, like ya said. didn't get a bitta sleep, but it ain't like that's unusual. ... worried overmuch, perhaps. but that ain't too unusual neither. wickedpainter good on the stayin with him

didnt want you to be alone with me pissed

carnivalsorphans i've been alone plenty. i just... ... i missed ya. a lot. wickedpainter missed you too, my head aint always easy to deal with

carnivalsorphans you ain't never seemed so upset at me that we couldn't talk. and i was fearin the worst. specially since you weren't even that mad bout me not gettin on with tarrat.

carnivalsorphans ... lilac finally just now told me he don't want me ta do shit with his ex, and he thought it'd make me mad. gods he's an idiot. wickedpainter what'm I gonna do shove you against each other an force you to have tea partys?

lilac needs to fuckin learn boundaries are okay

carnivalsorphans dunno. that'd probably be pretty funny. wickedpainter ..and an ex who was actual shit an horrible aint the same as what I was mad about

picturin you in a lil dress now

carnivalsorphans ;o) i'd look great in it you gonna be picturin tarrat in it too? wickedpainter ..no cause he'd get upset with me if I pictured him inna dress

you know how many fuckers toldt him he needs to be more feminine or that he aint a boy?

carnivalsorphans ... it alright if i just. ask ya, if ya ever have sex with any of the people i'm quadded with in the future, ya just. don't tell me bout it? haha, i'd be glad if ya got laid, but. wickedpainter :o* yeah I'll make sure you dont hear nothin from me on it

carnivalsorphans it ain't like i think you're asexual or anythin. you're pretty as shit and i was thinkin bout seein what you was comfortable with before we went pale. just. wickedpainter you think I'm pretty?

carnivalsorphans yeah :o) goddamn gorgeous.

carnivalsorphans nothin about you that ain't beautiful. wickedpainter gonna make a motherfucker blush

lemme know when I can come over

carnivalsorphans now~ gonna kiss you all over wickedpainter :oD

carnivalsorphans and see that pretty blush for mine self wickedpainter >Get your butt over there to have make up cuddles.

carnivalsorphans and then i'm gonna pap it > CUDDLES!!! You pretend you're not being as clingy as you most definitely are, and you are almost instantly purring.

[tumblunni]

also wtf who designed rune factory 4 this way THIS IS MY ONLY COMPLAINT IN AN AMAZING GAME why are all the romance routes entirely random?? even after youve reached the relationship milestones its COMPLETELY RANDOM whether the event will start every day same for every friendship event and town event and even some plot events you just have to sit there at your bed constantly skipping days for multiple years til the random number god gives you the marriage scene you did EVERYTHING to earn this marriage scene and you have nothing left to do but wait and youll never see any new events with that character until it happens, and you have a very limited amount of dates to go on while youre waiting, and they all do NOTHING except raise the relationship bar over maximum which does nothing. doesnt even increase the chance of the random event?? why even LET me increase it over maximum if it does nothing? thats just tricking me into thinking i havent unlocked the marriage event yet! when I HAVE and i just need to WAIT A BAZILLION YEARS OF RANDOM

anyway i finally got Leon’s random marriage quest and it was Awesome and So Many Tears and now im even more conflicted on who to marry gahhhhh its such a shame you cant resolve everyone’s plot unless you date them, i feel so bad dating all these people when im not able to marry them all, just cos i wanna fix their lives and make them happy but then theyre gon be sad that we didnt get married aaaa

and Leon is especially saddddd

now cos his whole plot is that he had a depressing scenario with a friend as a kid. She loved him but he saw her as just a little sister, and he jokingly promised to marry her once when they were too young to understand. And he didnt know she took it seriously until after he DIED and reincarnated as a fox monster person centuries later too late to do anything about it. And he’s crushed full of guilt that he somehow led her on, and he was never able to apologise, and he’s scared she spent her whole life waiting for him to come back. and then you get this very cool series of sidequests thatre a realistic look at translating languages, and its really motivational how leon is able to help bring knowledge of a dead language back to life and preserve the ancient culture that people thought was lost BUT THEN ENDLESS FUCKIN TRAGEDY kiel accidentally finds an old diary of leon’s friend (WHAT ARE THE ODDS) and he has frickin detailed anxiety attacks unable to even hold the damn paper cos he’s shaking so much and you go on a big treasure hunt to find all the pages and he’s just CRYING SO MUCH mr playboy man! mr flirty asshole! mr stoic! he’s fuckin crying and he cant hold a book without your help and aaaa and his whole story is about how he isnt really the negative stereotypes of a flirty character, he really REALLY values love and he feels depressed he cant love everyone who loves him, so he tries to fake it. And he tries to push people away whenever it seems genuine, but also like... entertain them enough that they dont feel he doesnt love them, i guess? and no matter how promiscuous a person is, they still cant love EVERYONE, you cant just force a relationship on them and say they must be asking for it cos they date other people and enjoy sex. its so depressing that he considers his biggest flaw that he wasnt able to force himself to love someone he didnt, especially when he did care about her, just as a best friend instead! if theyd just talked about it, it would have saved all this heartache for both of them! so then we start piecing together this book and it looks like his worst fears are confirmed, she spent her whole life waiting for him and hating him and its really fucking EXPLODINGLY SAD and then the quest is a bit confusing so i spent several days stuck on this point not knowing who to talk to next, going through random dungeons in case that somehow helped. turned out i did find the right spot but the quest just doesnt progress until you talk to the right person first GAH! stuck for five days on crying leon scene!! NOOOOOO but I finally got past it and CLIMACTIC HAPPY END or bittersweet end more like we find out we mistranslated one bit which was actually PAGE NUMBERS, and we were missing a page all along! and then the final page reveals that she actually moved on and found a new love and had a happy family and grew old together, and her only frustration with leon was imagining that he couldnt find the same thing, worrying that she’d betrayed him. So this wasnt a diary, it was actually a letter she wrote for him to find, having confidence he’d wake up someday and have another chance at happiness! She just wanted him to know that she kept his memory alive and she’s sorry and she was happy and AAAAAAUUUGH im tearing up again the bit that really got me was that we find out that leon’s favourite romance novel was actually written by her. It was so popular it survived into the modern day as a literature classic, and it convinces him that she really was happy with her new boyfriend if she could write something as beautiful as this. And he wants to embody the spirit of the book with you, and keep his new promise to her to have a happy family of his own :) ... AGHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHH why cant i marry everyone why do so many of them have plots where it seems like they wont be happy unless i love them... even now i dont really think the leon pairing is my favourite, i wish i could have had this plot as a friendship route! i think it would have resonated just as much since the whole backstory is about him being friends with someone who had unrequited love for him. i wanna be leon’s bestie and ultimate wingman! I like him a lot but I dont really think i wanna marry him! IM SO SORRY LEON AAAA he’s such a soulful beefcake dammit I’m sure he’d find a bazillion better lovers! I’m sure a lot of players did marry him! WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY AAAAA its not fair, aaaa arthur was the first one i dated and i also really care about him but in his case his way of acting in the romance isnt very different to when youre just friends so i dont think i wanna commit to that relationship maybe? it might change when i see his final random event but i dont get much ‘he’ll be happy with you’ vibes, its just strengthening their powerful brotp that they had from the start of the game. he feels like someone protagonist would indeed date, but theyd part again on friendly terms after it didnt work out, and then be amicable exes who still care a lot about each other. and I just feel like I wanna marry dylas even though he’s had the least tragic events so far. gahhhh! he just seems SO HAPPY dating you, and has loads of character development since it started, unlike the other two ive seen the dates for. he feels like he’s actually getting something out of this that he wouldnt if we were just friends? its so hard trying to weigh up the pros and cons of romance options in games when im inacapble of actually being attracted to anyone, its just ‘i care about you all and i wanna give you the best possible ending’. I haaaaate when games have it so that romance is always the best possible ending for every single character and they all suffer forever if you dont pick them :P and I havent even seen the romances with the other three dudes yet! GAHHHHH!! Theyre all the ones I wasnt immediately interested in dating, but that opinion could totally change, i could end up with a six way tie :P ... ALSO RANDOM BUT is anyone else really uncomfortable with the queerbaiting in this game? there is a LOt, a LOT of ‘lol maybe gay’, sometimes so clear that it seems the game is outright canonically stating this character is gay or bisexual yet you have no option to marry them unless youre the opposite sex. It gets REALLY uncomfortable with Dylas, he just,,, does not express any interest in women at all unless the player pursues him. And his mutual crush with doug is CONSTANTLY REFERENCED, and called out very clearly for what it is. IOf the game didnt keep pointing it out i would have been able to shrug it off as just accidental chemistry from a failed rivalry plotline or something, but we have EVERYONE saying ‘oh a lover’s quarrel’ and ‘be honest about your feelings’ and ‘i bet you wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and ‘gee i really wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and IT CANT BE ANY MORE CANON THAN THIS. And.. like.. Dylas even says he DOESNT wanna see women in swimsuits, he’s just here at the beach cos Doug might come along. He does not express any interest in women at all except the protagonist! It makes me feel SO uncomfortable! it feels like he’s actually gay, when with most other characters they seem bisexual?? I dunno how to explain it, thats just how it comes off to me. Why is there no option for him and doug to date, why cant i date him as the male protagonist?? His romance route is so totally gender neutral, i did the postgame protagonist swap cheat and it just feels more in-character for him this way. if im gonna steal him away from Doug i dont want it to be a weird gay conversion therapy type thing, it just feels so WEIRD. The one and ONLY stated crush he has on another character, and its gay, and theres NO OPTION FOR IT TO HAPPEN and then he suddenly becomes 100% straight and never talks about doug again if a fem protagonist dates him. SO WEEEEEIRD... I’m just gonna sit here on the non-canon bonus feature dylas x male protag train and never leave. If you cant have doug you shall have the transitioned me! Its funny cos he’s like the only batchelor i very vehemently cannot ship with fem protag, yet do with male protag :P but GAHHH leon deserves a family and i could give him a child and aaaaa SO HARD TO CHOOSE also i am sad that the postgame cheatmode lets you switch to any character but if its not one of the two protags its only your overworld model and not your face portraits. Its weird because every batchelor and batchelorette has the exact same full set of emotions and costumes, so why cant i access that?? its also a shame cos it means i cant roleplay my doug and dylas marriage properly :P CMON MAN WHY U EVEN TELL ME THEY IN LOVE IF THEY CANT BE IN LOVE :P they have the best portmanteau ship name too! douglas! :P