#thats what being a semi ask blog is. truly

[demonstars]

omg hi! NSFW STORYTIME!!

so i've been hooking up with this guy since august and he not only looks SO MUCH like george but he also has an eerily similar personality to him. he's really sarcastic, cute, and charming. our personalities mash together pretty well and i like him very much. ANYWAYS we had sex for the first time three weeks ago and honestly, it wasn't that great. he had some problems with yknow... getting it UP but i don't really mind it since neither of us has a lot of sexual experience and we're comfortable with each other enough to talk about it. however, in the past three weeks, he has given me MULTIPLE hints about wanting ME to fuck HIM. he's been talking so much about gay sex, fingering, anal, etc., and one time i made a joke about pegging him and he suddenly got so flustered. it was kinda cute but like DO I REALLY WANT TO PEG HIM? i guess i do bc i've been thinking about it so much? idk it could be kinda hot

he's coming back from a trip on sunday AND i think i'm going to ask him if he wants to do it once we meet up????????????????? if he says yes i'll be pegging my own personalized canadian (also potentially bi) georgenotfound???????? i doubt we'll ever have a serious thing but i'm here for a good time. he's such a great guy btw i hope he'll find his dream one day. he genuinely deserves a good dick but until then i'm taking on the job which is... honestly kind of an honor 

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!

[glowstone23b]

OKAY HI semi sentient elytra thingies from phanon (phanon blog reveal) urs truly

Given the end is like. suuuper weird and alien. (I also hc endermen to be former ancient builders mutated because of eating chorus fruits when they got stuck in the end) almost nothing is like how you expect it to be there and that goes for elytras too

When they latch onto a user, over a period of time they’ll sink these tendrils into the shoulder blades and connect in with the blood etc and begin to sort of leech off you while trying to give you flying benefits + higher reaction times to stuff in exchange 🗣️

yk how when butterflies or moths emerge from cocoons and need a minute to pump blood thru their wings so they can get them to work?? Thats how that works !! meaning elytras take a second to slowly slowly adjust to the host and form wings that are best suited for them

now onto the mutation parts 1!1!1

sage (my oc) began to repair her elytra using phantom scales which phantoms shed naturally instead of killing them for membrane.

these worked .surprisingly really well . and she hardly noticed the fact that the elytra began to slowly mutate her

This was because the elytra sort of assumed— that due to the sudden bits of phantom scales, that they were biologically from her and that she was some sort of phantom-like hybrid person, and began trying to restore what wasn’t there, hence Sage getting a few phantom-like features

Also to note that while the mutations can change a few bits both behaviourally, physically and mentally they never really fully change the person? as in you won’t start going ham on ppl now that you’re partly a mob is what im saying (like Sage doesn’t have to worry about getting blinded by the sun despite being technically part phantom but being around bright lights can cause an eventual headache)

After like a fair few months of never removing the mutated elytra they eventually just. they’re never able to come off afterwards and just fully fuse into the host 👍yes this causes problems with wearing shirts and jackets

also sage oc reveal HUZZAH . dont look too hard at the anatomy i havent drawn a thing in months (shes in her pyjamas too) (my girl is not a morning person)

also yeah sometimes her phantoms try to preen her and it usually ends up scratching her skin ajdbekfjfk

DID YOU DRAW THAT JUST FOR THIS ASK

Also hello blog reveal I was already following you somehow 😂 loving your oc. Loving her

I also love tinkering with winged clothes concepts (like for people whose elytras have fused to them) so they snap or button or velcro in the back or something you know? Good stuff!

What if the elytra (after having been fully fused, I guess, but early users apply too) runs out of durability? Are the wings something you yourself can feel once they’ve fused with you, or is it more like… a neurological thing, where the elytra just know what you’re thinking? That way, it can move you in that direction! Could you feel them as an extension to your body? If they get hurt, would you be able to feel it as if it were your arm or something, or would it be numb? If you run out of durability on fused elytras, is that something you could ever fix? Would you be able to get a new pair if you hadn’t been fused yet? Would you have to try to cut off your old elytra to replace it if you *were* fused? So many questions (and no need to answer at all if you don’t feel like it but. I love this sort of stuff. That’s so cool! I have so many theories :))

For mutations, could you potentially *pick* how your elytra form to look on you? Like, if you tried to repair your elytra using a combination of some standard repair materials (phantom membranes, occasionally scales) as well as some other thing (like parrot feathers, for instance), could you possibly get the elytra to take on a form you’d prefer? Is it standard for everyone, or does it just assign you some sort of look to your wings (person A is butterfly, person B is dragon, etc.)? Sorry for all the parentheses. I have too many thoughts. I digress. If so, it’d be kinda fun seeing people change their wings as they grow or as their preferences change. People with parrot wings repairing with different colored feathers to ‘dye’ them in a sense, or some people mixing ingredients to get hybrid-looking elytra!

I like your endermen became endermen because of chorus fruits thing! I guess… if builders back in ye olden days managed to get to the end and LIVE, they’d have no real way back unless they defeated the dragon, so chorus fruit would be their only source! I think being in the end has gotta be weird, like in my head there’s zero wind or sounds, and the temperature is extremely neutral. Not hot or cold or anything, just kind of stagnant. Another alternative would be slightly chilly, but it might be less of a temperature thing and more of a ‘hey you’re in a different dimension, this isn’t normal’ sort of thing your body’s telling you. Eating a chorus fruit would be interesting, too! Teleporting? And it can also be popped! I feel like it’d have the texture of peaches or mushrooms, but after popping it you can make bricks out of it! What on earth sort of properties??? Idk, chorus fruit is neat though :)

I love your theories, so thank you for sharing!!! Your art rules???? That phantom design is so freaking sick????? I imagine them puffing up their wings like toothless from httyd trying to do that dance thing… silly babies, but the glowy markings help. I am also stealing Sage’s jammies, I love the kitties.

Anyways. Thank you for introducing Sage to me officially (as well as your blog) :). Hello, the both of you! Do you care for names/pronouns? Are phanon/invention alright? Cause I can start a tag for ya if you’d like!! I will throw art in your general direction too if you ever feel like it! Have a good day, I got a flight to catch!!

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[lethbians]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.25 - Manchester vs Trinity, Cambridge

The fact that this blog is going to be written entirely in character as the narrator of the novel Ducks, Newburyport, the fact that you’re probably going to have to look that up if you don’t know what it is otherwise you’ll have no idea whats going on, the fact that Manchester and Trinity have seven UC titles between them, the fact that there’s no reason for me doing this other than the fact that I’m reading that book at the moment and its constantly running through my mind, the fact that here’s your first starter for ten, Starter for Ten, James McAvoy, Benedict Cumberbatch, cabbage patch, the fact that Manchester are mascotted by a bee and Trinity are mascotted by some sort of homeknitted Sooty, the fact that I’ve already said here’s your first starter for ten so I should probably start, the fact that Webber wins the first points for Trinity with ‘Capital’, following a list of clues, though I’m not sure which one he got it on, the fact that I never am when there are lists of clues for questions, but I suppose its probably often some combination that sets off a light in the contestants heads, Eureka! Topeka, Toto, lions, the fact that the first set of bonuses are on scientists, Dorothy Hodgkins, the fact that I remember hearing her name in lectures but can never remember what exactly she did, the fact that the first bonus question asked for a specific vitamin, the fact that when a question on University Challenge asks for a specific vitamin its nearly always B12, K12, the fact that no one really knows any other specific vitamin, so its pretty obvious the answers going to be B12, the fact that Rogers negs the next starter, but can’t even guess, even though he knows the answer will be a city, the fact that thats a bit mean of me to say, isn’t it, the fact that its probably really hard to think of something in that situation, the fact that Trinity can’t get it either so Manchester get a reprieve, the fact that Moscow was known as the third Rome, the fact that I’d never heard of the third Rome, let alone heard of it being Moscow, the fact that Crawford buzzes in very quickly when she hears the words ‘potato-eaters’, Vincent Van Gogh, Goch, Go, Goff, the fact that the next bonuses were on EU treaties in the week that Brexit finally happened, the fact that there’s no way they could have known this to schedule it like that, the fact that they’d have had to know ahead of time that Brexit would be postponed in March, October, December, the fact that they couldn’t have known that, the fact that it must have just been pure chance, the fact that Crawford wants Webber to guess a five letter word for a question that asks for a four letter word, the fact that he doesn’t, the fact that what if his spelling had been wrong, the fact that I am 100% sure the answer for the PIcture starter is Bavaria, but its also a guess, the fact that Webber says ‘educatory guess’ not ‘educated guess’, the fact that is that also right?, the fact that Manchester finally get a question right, the fact that they’re already 75 points behind at this point, the fact that Hughes gets the next starter to put a stop to their comeback, the fact that Hughes really does get a lot of starter questions, the fact that Trinity don’t get the author of ‘The Children’s Book’, but I know its AS Byatt, because I have a copy of it in my flat which my grandma gave me but which I’ve not read because it looks unspeakably boring, the fact that I’d probably never have heard of AS Byatt if I didn’t have the book, the fact that there’s loads of authors I’d never have heard of if I didn’t have their books, the fact that most of the time I need to have read about a book to know things about it, but I know stuff about films that I’ve never seen, apparently by osmosis, the fact that I should read more, the fact that I’m trying, but Ducks, Newburyport is just so damn big, the fact that its still really good though, the fact that I’d recommend it to anyone, the fact that this homage probably isn’t painting it in a good light, the fact that I assure you Lucy Ellmann does a better job of this than I do, the fact that Webber also gets a lot of starter questions, the fact that Trinity don’t know a lot about astronomy, astrology, solar flares, sun spots, Griffiths observatory, Palomar observatory, Jodrell Bank, the South Bank, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, the Clifton Suspension Bridge, Glenfinnan Viaduct, Hogwarts Express, the fact that the next question is about trigonometry, the fact that I’d have known that when I was studying trigonometry but its a bit of a pointless question to have here, the fact that Webber gets it anyway, the fact that they get two bonuses on the architect Owen Jones, Chavs, chavs, the fact that that stands for council housed and violent, the fact that its widely regarded that thats actually a backronym, the fact that it apparently derives from the Roman word ‘chavi’, meaning child, the fact that who was using Roman words to coin new terms in the 21st century, the fact  that there are no chavs in Harry Potter, the fact that do you get wizard chavs, the fact that David Bowie is the music starter, the fact that David Bowie was probably a wizard, Ian Dury, the Blockheads, hit me with your rhythm stick, the fact that Trinity don’t recognise Joni Mitchell, the fact that Joni Mitchell is probably the best singer-songwriter ever, the fact that is it just me who thinks that, the fact that Trinity know novels from their opening passages, the fact that I used to know the start of Northern Lights, the fact that I used to know the chapter titles for that too, the Decanter of Tokay, the fact that I also used to have the opening page of Barack Obama’s autobiography memorised, the fact that it was in the bathroom for months, the fact that Paxman says ‘You are on fire tonight!’ after Trinity get the novel questions, the fact that he’s absolutely right, the fact that they are very much on fire, the fact that Manchester haven’t had a look in for ages, the fact that they have a guess on the next starter, but they’re wrong and Crawford picks it up, the fact that Paxman says ‘you can give the scientific or the common name’ for a genus of hoofed mammals, the fact that who knows the scientific name for a genus of hoofed mammals but not the common name, the fact that the answer was goat, the fact that is there anyone on earth who knows the word ‘capra’ but doesn’t know the word ‘goat’, the fact that they just put that in the question to make the show seem more intellectual don’t they, the fact that I hadn’t noticed that before, the fact that they quite often say ‘give the scientific or common name’, the fact that are Manchester ever going to get another question, the fact that the third bonus question on adaptations is ‘the Turn of the Screw’ and I swear I’d been thinking of the Turn of the Screw for the first one even though it had no link to it, the fact that thats just a total coincidence isn’t it, the fact that Manchester have finally got another one, the fact that hopefully they can get up above fifty points, the fact that anything below fifty points seems like a truly dreadful effort, but if you can get just above that it seems almost respectable, the fact that Green gets the next one too, two in a row, hattrick, connect four, the fact that they get all of the picture bonuses too, the fact that this puts them over fifty, the fact that Green gets a hattrick with an excellent early buzz of ‘aubergine’, the fact that Paxman says ‘good buzz’ and it was, the fact that where was this form earlier, the fact that if this had come in a bit earlier then they might have stood a chance, the fact that Green goes for four in a row on the next starter, but gets it wrong, the fact that Hughes gets the next one, the fact that he’d been quiet for a while but you can never count him out, the fact that Booth gets his first of the night, the fact that Manchester nearly have a hundred now, the fact that that really would have been respectable, Jurassic, Cretaceous, Mesozoic, Triassic, the fact that in Trinity’s last episode Hughes guessed Palmerston for a Prime Minister question and if he’d guessed that again they’d have been right again, the fact that Trinity are running away with it again, the fact that they have already got the highest score of the series so far, the fact that will they hit three hundred, the fact that they only need ten more points, the fact that Hughes buzzes in with ‘martlet’ and they’ve got it, the fact that it was his seventh starter of the match, the fact that Trinity scored three hundred, the fact that Manchester scored ninety five, the fact that its the highest combined score we’ve had in two years, the fact that Trinity still have to win another match to reach the semi finals, the fact that Manchester aren’t kncked out yet either, the fact that I don’t know who’s playing next week, the fact that every time I pick up Ducks, Newburyport I think ‘how did she write this’ and having done this now I am even more amazed, the fact that this goes into nowhere near the amount of detail she goes into, but I have no clue how she manages it, the fact that it must have been a pain to edit, the fact that if I really wanted to copy the style I’d have had to put a huge list in at some point, but that might have been too annoying for this blog, the fact that I might go back and add a list anyway, the fact that I don’t know how she ends the book so I might just have to end it here because I don’t know how I’ll get out otherwise

[itsthwippingtime]

Fav bloggers and why?

dahskhkasj theres so many!! how am i supposed to,,, uhhh okay i love every one i do if youre not on this list it does NOT mean that i don’t love you

without further ado and in no particular order (okay I’ve noticed some are longer than others and if youre anything like me you’ll read way too much into that but please don’t i don’t mean anything by it i love you all so so so so much) 

im so sorry for how long this is. every person tagged in this; i love you so so so so much and thank you so much for just being there for me and just being a presence in my life i am so grateful for our friendship. that applies to everyone, no matter if we’ve talked every day or never, i love you all so so SO much!!! 

@anidiotwithapen - my first friend on this site (literally) and they live in Germany so we don’t get to talk as much as i would like cause ugh timezones but i love them so much, a walking disaster, the Clint to my Nat (wait am i Nat? have we discussed this yet?) the number of crack head canons that should be canon and ideas we’ve come up with like wow. i love them so so so so so so so so much. amazing artist like wow check out their art blog @neraidamira

@hraewordsmith - my babes my aunt i love her so much IM GONNA MEET HER ASJKDHASJKHDKASHJKA Rae is literally my rock one of the most supportive, loving people (persons?) I’ve ever met i love her so so so so so so so so muchdasjhkjajzkjashdjk 

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars - Leah. my babes. an angel on earth i love her so much!!!! I’m gonna meet her too!!! so supportive and loving and encouraging, an amazing writer, an amazing person i mean what else can i say about her???

@starkravingparker - my wife!!! my name twin!!! Ava May i love her so much and I’m so so so proud of her she is so strong and amazing every day she faces demons and battles but she never ever gives up truly inspirational to  me i love her so much and I’m gonna meet her one day maybe years from now but we’ll meet definitely and she’ll have to show me all her favorite places to go and things to do!! an amazing singer ( @starkravingava) an amazing writer ( @stparkerwrites) and amazing at making icons/edits/that stuff that i know nothing about ( @starkravingshuri) truly a talented wonderful person i love her to death. she deserves so much love and happiness and I’m so proud of her jsdajkdjlksa 

@loubuttons - lou. what can i say about lou. the sweetest person ever. always there to love on you and encourage you and hear you complain and be there to rant and shkjadsahjkska i love her so much literally an angel i cannot,,,, an amazing painter and writer and just deserves all the love in the world i love her so much 

@marvelbased SOPHIA I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE the Bucky to my Sam i could not live without her she’s constantly making me laugh i wish i could give her the world because its what she deserves i love her so much she always supports me and encourages me and we’re gonna meet one day too i know it ill die if we don’t!! dsjkhasjk i just love her!!!! 

@cartwheelandfaceplant - we don’t talk much but i love them!!! everything they reblog, marvel or not, is the Quality Content i signed up for and at least a third of my likes is probably posts from them amazing blog amazing person just amazing amazing amazing!!

@tonyintexas - ah Taylor. my partner in crime when it comes to a certain person i love her and her humor its so amazing Taylor is literally crazy but the best kind of crazy and she honestly has me cackling i love her so much

@smallittlebee - the sweetest ever!!! we don’t talk much but literally so so so so so sweet and um CHICKENS!!!!!

@peterparkerisntdead - literally Gwen’s tags and semi vague shit posts throw me into a fit every time i should expect it but i never do i never know what to expect from her she’s like a hurricane so unpredictable sdaljkasdakjsd i love her k so much!!!!!! just !!!!!!

@irondadgroupie - IM SORRY I HAVENT REPLIED TO OUR HEADCANONS IN SO LONG IM SO SO SO SORRY if maybe if you don’t mind waiting until May? my exams are over mid-may and I’m gonna try to have the out before then but its really getting stressful over here and I’m just so sorry for all the shitty excuses and me ignoring you you have no IDEA how sorry i am. i love you so much i love the head canons we come up with, so so supportive and has always supported me with my writing, since the very beginning and it means the world to me dsjakjhsjak i love you babes!!!!

@imveryobservant - ahhh Jessie i love her toooooo!!!!!! we don’t talk a whole lot but when we do its always so much fun!! there are two (2) things that make me think of Jessie: thank u, next and the muppets (i also think of Gwen when i think of the muppets)

@lovelyspidey - LIXI!!!!! Lixi and i don’t talk a whole lot either but i love her so much and she’s like the one person i can freak with about Spider-Man PS4 (LIXI YOU NEED TO FINISH IT HAVE YOU????) and she’s always been there and supported me from the beginning i love her. also my go-to girl for Tom fic recs ;)

@drowningfandoms - okay but literally idk what to say because i remember seeing your URL repeatedly in my notifs at the very beginning, and like sending me asks and stuff and it was so strange that one person liked me and wanted to interact with me. and look how far our friendship has grown!! i love you so so so much!!!! I’m so grateful for you and our friendship and just your presence in my life

@underoosstark - this bitch makes some of the best videos i have ever seen in my entire life!!!! please watch them!!! ugh your mind babes!! we don’t talk a lot either but always amazing and supportive and loving and so sweet and kind andjaksdhjksahdjkashjksahjkd 

@messedupfangirl05 - this bitch exposes me in the best ways i love her so so so much she is so kind and supportive and just so funny and I’m so so proud of her and everything she’s done. i love her and the way she writes and just EVERYTHINGS!!!!!

@tominhoodies - STEPH!!! BABES!!!! k i love Steph so much she’s an amazing writer and i love her so so so so so much she’s so funny sometimes she disappeared for days or weeks but i know she does it for her and its whats best for her and i respect and admire the amount of self control she had i love her so much okay don’t talk to me

@knife-wielding-tentacle - listen. if it weren’t for this bitch right here i would have never been introduced to the glorious head canon that is Winter Soldier!Peter and i love it so much (okay I SWEAR I’m gonna answer those asks soon but when have you known me to ever do anything on time) i love them so much jdsakjaskdjlaksjkaklsadjkl please never stop with the head canons they give me life

@adaisyspetals - DAISY!!!!!! i love daisy so much!!!!! she sends me pictures of her cat and dog and i love them too!!!! so sweet and so supportive and i love love love her writing!!!! agasdgjhsags just so amazing i love you so so so much babes!!!!

@mostly-marvel-stuffs - hi!!! we used to talk a lot more than we do now and thats okay but i miss you lots babes!!!!! um just an amazing person altogether i love them!!!! we once calculated how long it would be to do a Disney marathon with all most of the Disney movies so we’re gonna do that one day when we can stay up for a week straight (how long did we say it would be?)

@protecthefuckingbees - idk why they follow me cause they’re literally like the coolest and I’m like,,, not but i love them so so so much so supportive and kind and loving and sdjkhajdhjkahdajk i just love you sooooo much!!!!!!

@tomhollandswhore - we talk like every three days but i cherish those conversations, literally so sweet and kind and supportive and a New Friend cause we don’t know each other super well yet but i already know i love them!!!!! 

@tonystarkdadmode - oh my gosh okay so sweet and so amazing and so supportive and just so amazing i love love love them!!!! i love their header (its so iconic go look) and just dsjkasjkdasjkhdsjkadsajk love you so much babes!!!!! 

@spider-boiii - the creator of my icon, always has me cackling, super amazing, really nice, I!!!! LOVE!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!

@spookyclooky - k amazing artist first off! also like the only person i can talk to about Detroit: Become Human and (possibly) other PS4 games (we need to play GTA online one day i feel like that’d be a lot of fun haha!!!) i love them so much they’re so sweet and very patiently put up with my incessant questions about DBH, as annoying as they were

@sup-mr-stark, @mysteryavengers, @death1by3thoughts, @tamaranianprincess, @tomhollandeu @tomhollanders2013, @ebonyheartnet, @avengvr, @anxieteandbiscuits, @theincorrectavengers, @spiderman-homecumming, @my-babies-are-ash, @she-loves-her-queens-of-whump - these blogs… we don’t talk a whole lot and i really wish we did, but we all just kinda stand by and support and love each other even tho we’ve had like 3 or less conversations BUT THEYRE STILL ALL AMAZING AND HAVE AMAZING BLOGS AND ARE JUST ALTOGETHER AMAZING PEOPLE I LOVE THEM!!!!

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

This is the previous Ti anon, and I’d first like to say I apologize for coming off the way I did, as if I just really wanted to be typed as a Ti user; I didn’t mean to and was only experiencing frustration, as Ti was sort of a last resort, but I’m having trouble identifying whether or not I use it. I’ve no idea why, as I usually have no problem seeing it in other people (such as my confirmed INTP friend, who I recognized high Ti in immediately when he thought himself to be an INTJ),

but when it comes to myself my mind is blanking out on whether or not the definitions apply to me. Due to the misunderstanding, I’ll try to be clearer in this ask, so beginning with this, the question: Judging by the following things, do you think I use high Ti or high Fi, or any other judging function for that matter? I’ve narrowed it down to those two, but I’m not a hundred percent sure. I’m asking solely about the judging functions though because I’m nearly a hundred percent sure that I use dominant Ne and inferior Si, so nothing I say will pertain to those two functions (unless, somehow it does and you think I’m mistyped, in which case please feel free to correct me). I’m not at all sure if everything I’m about to list is really helpful, but: 1.) I think aloud, nearly lol the time. I’m constantly thinking while I’m speaking, as my head is far too messy to organize this stuff internally; the only time I ever release a semi-finished product is in writing because I often edit as I go 

2.) When I don’t understand something, I obsess over it. While I can usually still operate on the basis that that thing is true, in the background I will still try to figure it out on my own time. For example, I’ve more or less settled on being an ENTP due to no other types matching as far as I can see, but before I can truly move on, I need to have it confirmed, and I need to understand why. Otherwise I’ll always doubt it. Hence this ask. (The original question still stands though.)

3.) When I was younger, I always considered things on a logical basis, not anything else. My friend would have a problem, and rather than sympathize, I’d tell her how to fix it and expect her to stop being upset. Now, I’ve gotten a lot better at doing that and understanding that just because there’s a seemingly simple solution to me doesn’t mean they won’t still be upset, but I had to work on both considering others’ feelings when making a decision and taking into account their feelings in general communication. 

4.) When I get stressed, I become a control freak. I obsess over small things, and I don’t let anyone do anything because they won’t do it as well as I do, and if I don’t do it well, I’d still rather it be my fault than theirs. This is shown most often when I wait and procrastinate too long on something and then someone offers to help; I almost always have a mini freak out and tell them not to touch anything, and I hate them hovering over my shoulder. 

5.) When upset, esp anger,I’m very dramatic; I explode and then I get over it. Even mild inconveniences often result in me being overdramatic, though I usually recognize I’m being overdramatic and try not to take anything at face value because I know I’m being irrational. I’m pretty open with most of my emotions, excluding sadness, but thats due to mental illness things that I won’t address. My mood fluctuates a lot, and everyone knows it. I can go from apathetic to happy in two seconds flat and will at least squeal.

Also, I’ve an extremely hard time acknowledging my emotions. I’m usually aware of them, but when it comes to acknowledging them, I’ve the bad habit of shoving them to the side until I absolutely have to deal with them, meaning they’re interfering to a point of it being a problem. When I do finally recognize them, I always shoot for the root of the problem and fix it before moving on, which isn’t always as simple as it sounds unfortunately. Wow, okay, that was an extremely long ask,which I also apologize for, but I’m hoping it gave you anything to work off of? If not though, could you at least tell me what to look for when trying to type myself as a Ti user? (If you’ve already done this elsewhere, my bad; I’ve scrolled through various tags of yours [entp, high ti, ti, etc.] and not been able to find one, which would be a mistake on my part.)

--------

Hi anon,

This paragraph is before I’ve done any typing and just quickly skimmedbut: if you’re having trouble probably the most significant aspect here is thateven after I’ve explicitly pointed out that your question is not “what is mytype” but rather “please type me as having Ti” the question you asked was still“how do I determine if I have Ti or not” and that’s not really how I type(which is also why you probably didn’t find anything on the blog). I tend notto go by “do I or do I not have this specific function”, but rather “whatfunctions do I seem to have based on this behavior.” Which is also not to saythis is the only way to type but it is the way I do it, so if you’re looking for someone to zero in on Ti I am probably not a good resource for that.

For the actual typing:

Thinking aloud is very associated with Te actually –the act of externalizing one’s thought process. I suppose it could beconsistent with a dominant extroverted perceiving function as well, but I wouldnot associate it with Ti. Editing as you go could be anything. I edit as I go.I suspect it’s just a matter of habit and preference.

Similarly, wanting to figure something out and having asense of curiosity about it isn’t exclusively Ti; most people are curious andmany are extremely curious and never entirely move on from things they couldn’tfigure out; however, I’d associate Ti with being less able to push it to aconcern to be dealt with in the background.

Focusing on the solution and not comfort is more generallytrue of thinkers, and stressing out and becoming very obsessed with control isI’d argue least true of Ti as a higher judging function – stressed Ti userseither tend to get very logically finicky but not controlling, or have emotionaloutbursts. The controlling aspect could be inferior Si but I’d actually expectto see this far more on the Te-Fi axis; either as high Te going into overdrive immediatelyand you leaning on your strengths, or as lower Te in a stress reaction.

Your emotional description is also making me think of highTe more so than anything high Ti to the point that I think it might be worthcontacting your INTP friend and rethinking their type. Many thinkers tend toignore their emotions to an extent but high Ti users tend to be somewhatunaware of them, whereas Te users are more likely to be aware but refuse toprocess, and especially to shove them aside (though to be fair that can just begood old-fashioned coping mechanisms and denial; I completely understand notwanting ot share mental illness information but as you mentioned that may be havingeffects on your emotional state that are not well explained by MBTI.

So: I would look at the Te doms.If you are absolutely positive you have dominant Ne, I would next considerother factors outside of MBTI; while you’re not necessarily a typical ENFP from this ask you do have some separation of expression vs. felt emotions and I wouldn’t rule out a feeling type entirely, especially since you mentioned mental illness may have an influence on some of your behaviors (not because feelers are mentally ill but because there are known factors that might be influencing your behaviors such that you don’t seem like a typical feeler but could still be one).

[omgthisisnotmyrealaccount]

as always i got tagged by @quercussp and in following tradition i decided to take like 6 years to complete it

rules: answer 21 questions about yourself and tag 21 people whom you want to get to know better :)  

nickname/pet names: the problem with the name elizabeth is that no one has the time to say all those syllables so i get called ellie, liz, beth, eliza, elle, lizzie (i do not like lizzie), if it kinda fits into the name elizabeth i get called it 

zodiac: cancer

height: i answer this differently every, idk how tall i am, my hair makes it hard to measure, i’m like around 6ft tall

last movie: it was dunkirk because i am a film connoisseur and deeply enjoy the works of the auteur christopher nolan and the way the film uses both diegetic and non-diegetic sound is truly artful and its definitely not because it has harry styles in it and i like his face

last thing googled: how to spell connoiseur and auteur because do i seem like the kind of person who can spell in french?

favourite musician: like so many, i’m legally obligated to say Beyoncé, one of my fave bands is the jam, i also listen to an embarrassing amount of one direction, so many more but you don’t care

song stuck in my head: a weird al song which is odd because why the fuck would i, a black person have a weird al song in my head??

other blogs: there’s the “real account” this account is named for that i don’t use very often and i have so many sideblogs because im deeply ashamed about each of my interests and crossing the streams brings me much anxiety, i do it occasionally to like try to get used to it. 

i have an ackley bridge sideblog, a semi aesthetic one with a specific theme, it has like 5 followers 3 of which are porn bots and i love it because i can just post whatever the fuck i want free of judgement. i have a sims 4 one because i love to slow my game down with shitty custom content. my newest one is fandom blog for a dnd show that 7 people watch, we’re a fun bunch

do i get asks: nah, why would anyone ever want my opinion on anything?

following: at the moment business is slow so i only have two targets i’m keeping track of. my highest playing client doesn’t want his taken down until later next week so i’m just tailing them to keep track of their schedule so i know when is best to strike, the other has started to take notice of my car following them a lot so i’ll have to wipe them out soon, probably tomorrow 

dream trip: me and my dad have lowkey been planning to go to disney world because we are cool, we’re trying to get his girlfriend and her 11 year old son on board even though they have no interest in going so we don’t just look like an adult woman and her father going on a trip to disney world because that’s just a bit weird

amount of sleep: i’m running on like 4 hours of sleep atm, its nearly 2am and i have to be up by 7 and i hate myself

lucky number: 2, its even and prime, the “i’m not like other girls” of numbers

what i’m wearing: big tshirt, no trousers, because trousers are for the weak. its what i’m always wearing.

dream job: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ teaching maybe??

fave food: i just like food, its pretty great at the moment i’m eating popcorn kernels because i’m a garbage person

play any instruments: as a little kid i played the violin and i still have that violin even though it does not belong to me, its like a tiny child’s violin so if a person is sad and i am not sympathetic i am capable of playing the tiny violin for them

languages: english and very very limited french

fave songs: i just like songs, they are good, i don’t have a permanent fave song but atm i really like everybody wants to rule to world by tears for fears

random fact: i am a competent tap dancer and just so many opinions on public transport, i could legit write a book

describe yourself as aesthetic things: ??? are funfairs aesthetic? if so funfairs, fairy lights i fucking love fairy lights, sunrises in winter, sunsets in summer, a very specific one but nighttime in supermarket carparks, idk if thats aesthetic but like i feel like that sums up me, i really like 24hr supermarkets and just being in places at 2am where you have no business being in at 2am

i never tag people i these things and idk if i even know 21 people to tag and like i know i always say do this if you want but you really should and tag me because i like getting to know people and these are some fun questions

[treddnevers]

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people u want to get to know better

tagged by: @monetsaintcroix eee ty!

nickname: truly i do not have a nickname

zodiac: gemini sun libra moon cancer rising (yikes)

height: 5′ 10″ tall dyke rights !

last movie i saw: spiderverse!!

last thing i googled: “google search history”

favorite musician: im bastard.... i dont have a single musician... but my top 5 rn in no order r fiona apple, overcoats, bandits of the acoustic revolution, thao and tha get down stay down, hozier, mitski. i lied thats six also im a stereotypical lesbian

song stuck in my head: hell by squirrel nut zippers but its like switching between their version and the streetlight manifesto cover

other blogs: i have not touched this blog since i was in high school but me n zack made one called @itspunkto in which we post about things to do that are punk

do i get asks: no thank god

following: 723

followers: 420 BABEY!!!!

amount of sleep: rn im running on..... like 5 hrs give or take

lucky number: 21

what i’m wearing: denim shirt, black sweatpants, big wool scarf. real cosy hours

dream job: professional man hater

dream trip: i roadtrip to alaska in late spring. i go tidepooling. i hike a lot. i kayak. the soundtrack of walter mitty is playing in the background probably.

favorite food: if u asked me this morning when i woke up with a really low blood sugar i probably would have said cheez its and then started crying. but really my favorite is new mexican food, catch me hopping on a plane to abq to get my hands on some good chile verde and sopapillas next chance i get

play any instruments?: uke, kind of the guitar. i used to be really good at piano when i was a kid but then the high schooler who gave me lessons went to college and my mom didnt wanna pay for a professional. so thats that.

languages: two! im semi-fluent in french. feel free 2 make fun of me for that.

favorite songs: give it to me by miya folick, obvious child by paul simon, nina cried power by hozier, june by florence, personal space invader by ajj, better son/daughter by rilo kiley, theres so many more but this list would get too long

random facts: i skipped my bio lecture today to go for a walk on the beach, i know a lot about barnacle sex, i got my black belt in taekwondo when i was 12 and i have type 1 diabetes

describe urself as aesthetic things: moss on an old cracked sidewalk, the feeling when you can't see the ocean but you can hear and smell it from just over the hill, being awake at 2am but warm in your bed and hearing the rain drizzling on your window, the texture of a starfish, curly hair that obeys no known laws of physics

tag 21 ppl: aaaa im sorry if this is spammy to those of you i tag! dont feel obligated to do this and im almost definitely not going to tag a whole 21 ppl. @xforce1991 @dykealectics @souldagger @aviaris @vormirs @lesbianillyana @the-macra @domericbolton @o5xmen @lavenderfestival im tapping out after 10 bye

[joyfoundhere]

Emerging from hard places

If you’ve followed me on social media a while and you’ve gotten used to maybe how I communicate... may I kindly just ask that you throw away anything you’ve come to expect? Long before Instagram and the age of what social media currently looks like, I had a blog. No I don’t still have that same blog, but it has been 20 years of wildly inconsistent patterns of writing. 

Sometimes we have those days where we feel a lot of things. 

The weightiness of life is no longer able to be brushed aside, and we must stare it right in the face.  Perspective is not hard to fight for, quite the opposite, perspective can ring loudly and oh so clearly. And the hard seasons of life, even if they are long gone, can hit us in a way that feels very fresh. 

Lately, I’ve had a lot of time to just be in my thoughts. I’ve been able to take a pulse on how I’m doing, and what I’ve noticed around me. And truthfully, it’s a season of life that is filled with far more questions than answers. And a season where I feel far more aware of my shortcomings than I do my strengths. And at times I’ve not even felt like myself (it was awful)

I have both mourned, and been grateful. I have been disappointed in myself, and hurt by the actions of others. I have sought adventure, and I have sought solitude. And trying to have a heart that stays soft? Elusive. Very elusive. 

One of the reasons I’ve loved blogging is that its an opportunity to allow others into my process. It’s not a 15 second clip of something random... its not a polarizing Facebook post.. no. These are my (semi) unfiltered thoughts. And friends, I have lately come to some really hard realizations, but i’ll only highlight a few of them:

•  My life’s mission is NOT to be there for other people. My identity is not in being a helper of people. I am not just a side character in someone else’s story

Context: Without getting overly specific, last year was hard. Up until recently, it felt like every month (or week) something happened that completely upended me and left me unable to process or have some plan of action. It was in those moments that I felt that I couldn’t offer anything to anyone. I didn’t feel like a good friend, I didn’t know how to truly listen to people, and I had NO capacity for anything other than what was already in my life. This was not the me I’ve come to know, or that anyone knew over the course of my life.

And somewhere in the thick of all of that I’ve realized that yes friends are important, but also doing what I need to do, and pursuing things just because I want to, is also important. I am allowed to live my life and do the things I enjoy. 

That has been a hard realization. I love to help people. But I need to fight for myself as hard as I fight for others, too.

• My life is changing. My energy for people and things isn’t the same. And thats ok

Context: There’s no deep story. But you know how you feel in your gut that your life is changing but nothing on the outside would make it seem so? That’s how I’ve felt. It’s uncomfortable. I’ve ran 100 miles an hour for years. I’ve given all I’ve got to various commitments... but now more than ever I feel something shifting. And I think it is wise when we have a feeling about something, to really take note of that

• If I am stubborn about something, I will likely be challenged on it. But stubbornness gives way to questions, and questions may give way to flexibility

Context: When I say all that it sounds simple. But all I will say is can we just agree that maybe we don’t know what is actually best for us? Maybe our ideals are just idols. And maybe those idols are worth destroying? Could that be possible? I think so. I’m not saying it is easy. But.. it could be better to not have those idols rule us.

I’ll be the first to say that I don’t understand my life. Sometimes I feel like I’m making no impact, and that my presence doesn’t make much difference. And that I’ve been stagnant, and no longer have a place where I am. Is it a lie? Yes. Do lies feel real? Yes. 

One blog post doesn’t mean that my questions are answered, but what it means is that I can look back on this and with the benefit of time, maybe those frustrations, questions, and hurts will all turn into answers and healing. I pray that I, and you, if you find yourself in a season of needing strength to persevere will be able to do just that. 

[daisymondays]

Hi, love! Do you know any good drarry fic that is placed at Hogwarts, like in 6th year or 8th year? Thank you!!

Hello dearest Nonnie, basically I started answering this and then accidentally fucking closed the page which meant I lost everything, so this is going to be shorter than I originally intended. I am an idiot. Also, I am not a rec blog and have an awful memory when it comes to remembering fics names and writers so I apologise for the short mess that is this list.

Without further ado here is a short and entirely subjective list of fics I have read recently and adored that fit this criteria and I hope you like them!! 

First up is the fabulous @femmequixotic and the noble @noeeon with their 8th year erised fic Things Worth Knowing (E 165K)

Okay so if you ever hear some weird incomprihensible screaming noise that is me yelling from the roof tops about how everyone should read this fic. It is fantastic and one of the best explorations of bi-Harry I’ve read to date. You get an incredible feel for his journey and his coming to grips with his sexuality. F/N are two of my fave writers because of the way they don’t shy away from the negative aspects of the characters and because of this their H/D are some of my faves because they are so real. Also Draco’s character and his coming to terms with the war and his actions are really fantastic, gosh the whole journey throughout the fic is just amazing. Its heart breaking and soul destroying but also uplifting and hopeful. Yes with a fantastically fleshed out cast of surrounding characters and SOME UNFORGETTABLE OC’s this fic is already a firm fave of mine and I 100% recomend it.

(Ps Noe I’m really sorry but adjectives begining with N are really hard to come up with)

Second up is the brilliant @bixgirl1 ‘s 8th year fic The Romantic Prawn Who Loved Christmas ( E 39K)

I mean really all I have to do to rec this fic is point out that the tags include sleep wanking. SLEEP WANKING PEOPLE!! but as with every Bix fic there is so much more than just mind blowingly hot sex (mind blowing!!) there is humour and the delightful snark between H/D truly is delightful, and Harry’s sleeping rambles are perfect and so sweet, innocent and flat out hilarious. Draco is adorably oblivious but also heart-breakingly so, and watching H/D’s relationship develop is so charming and heart warming. THEY ARE ROOMMATES AND THERE IS BED SHARING!!! LOOK AT THESE TAGS!! and then the Christmas magical/historical is just wow. I know its no longer christmas time but this is just a really great fic

Third we have the wildly-amazing @who_la_hoop and Written On The Heart (E 114K)

Another long one but trust me it’s worth it. Who_La’s writing somehow manages to perfectly balance being absolutely hilarious (like so funny you will wet yourself from laughing) with dealing with the complex issues after the war. There is also issues of fate and soul mates dealt with. And I just loved every word, honestly this fic should be read entirely so you can understand how incredible Blaise Zabini is, like he is hysterical. A work of art. I will never laugh so much in my life as I do at nearly every thing Blaise does and says. I mean look at this tag Blaise Zabini’s dubious porn collection like what more does one want in a fic?? It also has some of the best slytherin dynamics I’ve read and is just an all round fantastic fic

( Why did I think these adjectives were a good fucking idea? Sorry Who_La if you ever see this! )

Fourth may I introduce you to spectacular @Saras_Girl and 8th year advent fic Helix ( E 92K) 

HARRY AND DRACO LOOK AFTER SNAILS!!! OMG I KNOW IT SOUNDS BIZARRE BUT READ IT AND FEEL ALL THE ACHES AND PAINS AND WOES OF YOUR LIFE DRIFTING AWAY!!! i mean thats any saras_girl fic isn’t it?? pure joy and love written down. Anyway yes onto the fic, it is beautifully written (as always) and watching Harry and Draco bond and get over their war trauma just warmed my cold little heart. It is truly a stunning read and I recomend it to anyone who just wants to remember how much good there really is in the world

Fifth and certainly not least I’m going to throw in a short 8th year that isn’t angsty at all, and in the spirit of 20-self love-18 this is semi a self rec LOL, so that is amazing @aibidil and I’s Back To You (T 9K)

Sorry aib but you don’t get a screaming paragraph about how amazing you are (even though you deserve one) because I will cross the line and sound like an absolute knob if i start raving about how funny I am (again). But yes Aib and I had a great time writing this fic, it is in my personal and very humble opinion a rather enjoyable read and also it is some light relief after some of the beasts I just recced you!!

Oh and PS. I am only one chapter into this fic but the creative-genius @carpemermaidtales wrote one called Changing Tides (E 109K)

Okay so this fic as I said I’m only one chapter into but spans 5th Year 8th Year and beyond, and is meant to be amazing. The first chapter is FANTASTIC i can tell you that and I am currently hooked!! SOOOO HOOKED!! Also you asked for 6th year and I don’t know any off the top of my head so I hope this is a good medium

( Another sketchy adjective sorry Carpe! )

So my lovely Nonnie this is my probably rather useless fic list for you and i think will stand as proof as to why I am not a rec blog and why i need to pick up a dictionary and learn some more adjectives. There are hundreds of fantastic Hogwarts fics out there and in about 10 mins I’ll be kicking myself for forgetting one so if any of my followers or just anyone who see’s this mess has a Hogwarts 8th/6th year fic they want to add to the list please do!! All the love xoxo

[deepest-dope]

Tell me about your "OCs", thanks for the follow

oh damn ive had this title for 2 whole years and this is the first time ive ever been asked about them

ill stick to the pokemon ocs for this cause youre a pokemon blog

OK so my very first pokemon oc and currently the only one whose got a semi consistent timeline/timeframe he exists in being around 18 to 20 for the kanto johto games and edging towards 40 by sword and shield. hes a native of the orre region from my favorite pokemon game pokemon colosseum! his name is grigori after rasputin because as my very first oc 11 year old me wanted him to have a super cool name that was as bad ass as he was of course and i like to think he tends towards a defensive style and rasputin being a bitch to kill in that one story about his assassination made me think he was a good namesake for my character.

ive since updated his backstory from the mess it was when i first created him, he used to be a real mary sue or gary stu as it goes. hes starts as a team snagem pokemon-napper turned multi colosseum champion/recruiter and promoter turned mostly retired criminal turned legit pro pokemon breeder.

his basic history is his parents neglected him a lot as a child and hes essentially been the one to look out for himself his entire life. he joined team snagem as a teen, for the purpose of becoming self sufficient, originally at like 13 but ive sinced bumped it to 15/16 while i was reworking him, hes good at battle and is one of the higher ranked members of team cipher pretty quickly for a time. hes wracks up a pretty damn good win streak in battle and is one of the more successful thieves and is high ranked by 17.

but by then hes gotten sort of... tired. sick and tired of it all. he never really intended to do this for any length of time. he just wanted to rack up enough cash to become independant of his parents he didnt want to work for team snagem stealing pokemon this long. he hates how good he is at beating people down and robbing them of their pokemon. he tries to find another avenue of money making and in absence of any job skills besides pokemon battling ends up being a mainstay of the arenas.

eventually he works out with his higher ups to shift jobs from thief and enforcer to a sort of advertisement recruitment scheme. he claims and keeps the colosseum champion title and throws matches on his bosses command in staged matches to make his gang look strong. becomes a known fixture to parts orre at large as a champion battler and somewhat of a cool big brother figure to aspiring trainers. he doesnt necessarily love it but its somewhat of a step up from pokemon napping and such.

any way he ends up becoming financially well off though he reemains generally frugal saving almost all his winnings and only paying fot absolute necessities and rent on his shoebox apartment in pyrite town. and by 19 hes well and truly sick of his endless cycle of gaining and losing his champion title at team snagems convenience so sometime after team snagem teams up with cipher and his replacement chief snagger wes makes his grand exit from them he takes the opportunty to make his own quieter exit from team snagems influence entirely while theyre focussed on the fact their best officer blew up their hideout and ran off with their shiny new thief machine, and ends up in kanto.

he forges himself some citizenship papers and ends up wandering the region taking odd jobs as he goes pretty content with his newfound freedom. eventually he takes a job working at a daycare and finally discovers the work hes willing to spend the rest of his life doing, breeding and raising pokemon. he burns up what hes managed to save so far getting the education and proper licenses to do it and starts his own day care in johto eventually at age 21.

thats about as far as his story goesso far but as an extra aside ive got an inside joke of him being most of the mainstream pokemon game protagonists dad, either divorced or soon to be divorced from their mother. aside from pokemon he likes kids alot and likes being a dad, husband not so much.

hes a somewhat stoic man by nature and can seem to be aloof with people who dont know him well but he cares A Lot about his pokemon, retired battlers and the pokemon he breeds and raises for work and also his kids if i ever end up making my weird joke canon to my headcanon pokemon world. he in fact tends to care maybe a bit too much, doting to a point of being smothering. pokemon deal better with this bad habit then his hypothetical kids do, his mother kangaskhan tendencies are probably what drive the various protagonists to rush into their pokemon journey like they do to get some breathing room from him.

i only really have 2 pokemon set as a part of his team, an ursaring he raised from a teddiursa named Brutus and a kangaskhan affectionatelt referred to as Lady. he gets a ditto for his breeder job later but doesnt really train it for battle.

looks wise hes a big dude somewhere above 6′0 and broad shouldered. hes got unruly as hell dark long curly hair down to his upperback. perpetually has darkish circles under his eyes from stress induced insomnia. is that guy who has seemingly one outfit and one outfit only. wears plain tshirts you can buy in bulk under denim work overalls pretty much everyday as an adult.

i have a half baked pokemon professor oc professor yew ive been working on recently but shes nowhere as developed as grigori is. basic characteristics i have so far is she comes from an herbalist family and researches and develops healing items and pokemon foods and that she tends to like dark type pokemon

[skam-season4]

SKAM Theories, Speculation, and Analysis of what we know so far - Season 4 Hiatus

Hi all, It’s Holly, your least favorite SKAM blog again. I am putting together a master post of speculation, theories, and other stuff because this hiatus is killing me. You’d think after 112 days of absolutely zero content would prepare me for ten days, but here I am. So, this will kind of be chronological, and kind of in order of small details to big picture stuff. Because It’s semi - chronological, most of the beginning sections will be Even and Balloon Squad stuff, and  Feel free to message me on your thoughts, I encourage you all to disagree, have your own opinions, but just do it respectfully.

This should be pretty obvious, but if you aren’t caught up with S4E5 yet, this will be spoilers galore.

Bolded things are summaries of a topic, or main / important ideas of a topic

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on anything bipolar / mental illness related, or anything related to Islam. I’ve pulled an Isak and googled different types of bipolar, I know a few people who are mentally ill, but its different for everyone. I’ve read a little bit of the Qur’an, and I’ve tried to educate myself of some Islamic traditions and rituals, but I definitely do not know everything. If I say something wrong or ignorant, PLEASE CORRECT ME, but do it respectfully and I will gladly change it.

Here is the list of topics in order that will be covered:

Sana being ignored - a look through the ages

Even’s timeline

Even’s relationship with each member of the Balloon Squad

Hvem er Mikael?

The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation

Sonja’s Role

Even’s Christmas Text

Season 4 Trailer analysis

Sana’s feelings towards Vilde in S4

Was Yousef going to kiss Sana at the end of “The Best of Islam”?

Sana + Noorhelm drama

Yousef + not Fighting

What was the fight about?

Girls in the bathroom

Noora’s motivation to kiss Yousef

Yousef’s Motivation to kiss Noora

Season 4 Hiatus Trailer Analysis

BIGGER IDEAS

Why the Russ bus is Important

Vilde’s Character Development / Gay Vilde

Sana’s Mirror and Foil

Parallels

Themes

Perspective

Here we go!

Sana being ignored - a look through the ages 

Sana has been being ignored from the first episode she is introduced.

Vilde’s first visit to the school doctor: Where’s Sana?

The rest of the girls drinking in Eva’s room before Vilde sleeps with William: Where’s Sana?

We didn’t really think much of it when it was happening, and thats because of perspective. Perspective is possibly the most important lesson in this entire series (more on that later) and we were seeing this from Eva’s perspective. Eva probably didn’t notice too much that Sana was being left out, probably because she wasn’t that close to her yet, but now we get upset about Sana being excluded because we are actually affected by it.

Even’s timeline

This is what we have been told as of now. Some theorize that some of this info is false, and we obviously have a lot of missing information, but here’s what we think we know so far:

In Even’s second year, the video interview with him and Mikael was made. (x)

It’s 2015

Even is in his third year at Bakka

He is part of the Balloon Squad

Sonja and him have been dating for a year or two at this point

At some point, Even tries to kiss Mikael

Mikael pulls away because he is religious

Even memorizes the Qur’an in Arabic in attempt to cure himself

Even begins posting verses on Facebook about gay people going to Hell (flame emoji?)

We know this is the school’s Facebook page, as per Vilde in this text

I think its safe to assume that Even was manic when he posted that stuff

BUT we cannot be sure whether he was manic or not when he decided to read the Qur’an.

Sonja says he was in S3E8

But Sonja has also said that Even’s feelings for Isak are a result of mania, and basically that Isak was a symptom of Even’s mania

Obviously this turned out to be false

So the line between his mania and non-mania regarding what happened at Bakka is still extremely blurry. (non-mania? idk what to call it sorry, as I’ve said, I’m not an expert on bipolar, and I'm pretty sure it’s not appropriate to call it “when he was ‘normal’”, is “stable” an okay word to use? someone please educate me)

He hurt someone, and we have yet to find out who that is.

We know he hurt someone, or at least thinks he did because

Take a look at the aluminum leg story in S3E3. It seems like a harmless little joke, but it turned out to be an allegory to how he thinks Sonja views their relationship and such. So in S3E10 when he says “I’ll just hurt you, and then you’ll hate me”, this isn’t just because he thinks it will happen, it’s because it has happened before.

The obvious answer at the beginning of the season was Mikael, but now it seems to be Yousef. (I think it’s Yousef)

Even’s relationship with each member of the Balloon Squad

Mikael refers to Even as his best buddy, so we know they were close at some point, definitely before the kissing incident happened.

Elias and Even must have been close as well. This is demonstrated when Even asks Sana how “the boys” are doing, and then asks specifically about Elias. This is probably because Elias is her brother, the one she would know most about, but he doesn’t go on to ask about the rest of them individually.

Yousef and Even’s relationship seems more complicated than the others. They were close friends at some point, (battle 2015 photo, Yousef knows too much a lot about what happened between him and Mikael) Even obviously still loves all the boys, as I said in the bullet above, and Yousef seems to still love Even too, as we see in S4E4. He was so upset about what happened with Even, he gave up his religion, his beliefs. I think the reason he could have been potentially upset at Sana for having them be in the same place at the end of S4E5 was because he wasn’t ready. Not because he didn’t love Even, or was mad at Even, but because he wasn’t ready. (I think this goes without saying,but when I say love here, it is being used 100% platonic. The Balloon Squad, those boys, love each other. That much is obvious, and that’s that.)

I think Mutta and Adam are just more side characters, to add to the dynamic of the squad. They balance out the 5 Girl Squad members and the 4 (5? Is Even officially part of the Boy Squad now?) Boy Squad members, so it just kinda makes sense that there would be 5 Balloon Boys as well. They were probably Even’s buddies, but not as close to him as the other three.

Hvem er Mikael?

Ahh, here we are, the ever elusive Mikael. The Man, The Myth,The Legend. He is

Even’s “best buddy” in 2015

“I’m honest because I care about you” (x)  We’ve seen Mikael and the other boys be affectionate with each other, physically and emotionally. This seems to be just another example of this.

Even refers to him as the “previous man of my life” in this text, and as I’ve stated before, Even’s jokes always have an element of truth in them somewhere.

“He tried to kiss Mikael” - Okay, but if all of what Yousef said in that clip was true, why would Mikael be laughing at the mention of Even’s name in the SMS Roulette video?

When Yousef brought up Even in “The Best of Islam”, he was sad talking about him, obviously because one of his friends tried to kill himself.

I will explain in the “The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation: A Theory” section of this post why I think that is that they have such different reactions.

The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation: A Theory

This is a theory, not an analysis of what we already know and etc.

Sooo... here are some theories (x) (x) (x) especially the last one, etc. about Yousef (and Mikael) being gay / not straight, and I honestly don’t agree with it. As much as I would love to see a Muslim LGBT+ character in the media, it just doesn’t seem like it would be Yousef to me.

Some of the evidence pointing to the fact he might be gay is

the visual parallels between Isak and Emma making out in S3E1 and Yousef and Noora making out in S4E5 (I.E. just kissing, arms at the sides, generally disinterested) which makes sense.

Julie is looking for any opportunity to throw us off, plot twist the shit out of this season, and keep us on our toes, which is getting more and more difficult as time goes on, so we always have to keep that in mind.

 Now here’s why I think he’s not gay

If Yousef was gay, and it was actually him that was involved with the kissing situation then

 the Qur’an verses that Even posted would be directed at Yousef (and himself)

Hence the flame emoji thing in the SMS Roulette video

But Elias is the one that said that.

I highly doubt that when Even posted that stuff, he called Yousef out by name. So assuming the passages were just directed at Yousef and that’s what Elias was referencing with the flame emoji thing, that would mean Elias knows that Yousef is gay or that something happened between him and Even. Then that would mean Elias encouraged Sana to romantically pursue Yousef in Humble, while knowing he was gay, and intentionally fucking over his sister???? which is the exact opposite of everything we’ve seen with him????? It just doesn’t add up

I could see Yousef being bi or something and having a sexuality crisis in his Bakka days, because I truly believe he had feelings for Sana, and if he was bi, then that takes care of that.

I also don’t think Mikael is gay / LGBT+ because

he supposedly pushed Even away for being gay because he is religious

but he wears nail polish and kisses other boy’s hands and stuff like that

and in no way am I saying that because he does that stuff that makes him gay

But if Mikael is actually homophobic, or if he is actually gay and had internalized homophobia and issues with himself, I highly doubt in either situation he’d be too keen on doing traditionally gay things a lot

does that make sense?

I think that Yousef is the only Balloon Boy that knows Even tried to kill himself

Yousef seems to be the only one that is sad to see / hear bout Even

The others seem not affected, like Mikael in SMS Roulette, or upset / startled / angry, like Elias at the end of S4E5 etc.

Other people have pointed out that if he’s the only one that knows

Yousef must have been the one to find Even when he tried

Sonja’s Role

If I did the math right, her and Even started dating roughly around 2012, waayyy before the kissing incident with the Balloon Squad

As I talked about above somewhere, she claims Even memorized the Qur’an, “because at the time he thought it was a ‘good idea’”, and how that might not be entirely true because the line between mania and non-mania back then was so blurry

So did she know about the Mikael situation?

I feel like her role might be really important, because it was actually one of the most important roles in S3, but I don’t think we’d ever see Sana and Sonja interact, so maybe when we get the full story she will have something more to do with it.

Even’s Christmas Text

This is bolded because it’s my favorite theory I think. Who could it be? That little facial expression (timestamp: 5:09) was not in there for no reason, and like Julie said, she’s looking to throw us off.

Mikael: I don’t think it’s him. The second Mikael sees Even and Isak at the karaoke bar, he’s outta there faster than a green snake in a sugar cane field. He doesn’t seem too keen on acknowledging Even.

Sana: She might have texted him right before she walked in and told him not to worry, she wouldn’t say anything, or something along those lines. Again, possible, but not likely.

Yousef: Probable. Like I’ve said before, Yousef was probably upset to see that Sana brought him and Even together because he wasn’t ready. He seems like a very thoughtful person. After Sana asks him why he doesn’t believe in Allah, he doesn’t immediate respond. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, and I feel like he would want to think over what he wants to say to his friend he hasn’t talked to in a year who tried to kill himself very carefully, (who wouldn’t) and what better way than a text he can write over and over again and revise it?

Sonja: Everything points to her, at least to me. After Isak texted her, maybe she felt she should say something directly to Even. This always seemed the most probable to me, but I am absolutely set on finding out what that was about, and like I said in the “Sonja’s Role” section, I don’t think we’ll see more of her. The only thing I could think of is if Even tells Sana that Sonja texted him, but I don’t see how that would be relevant to anything.

Season 4 Trailer Analysis

I’m not gonna go into what each action in the trailer means. People have already done that. But the new speculation: The Trailer Is In Reverse!!!

I’m going to refer to the original trailer as the original, and the edited one as the “forwards” one.

So, in the forwards trailer, Sana trips Noora and causes a chain reaction that ends with Even getting hurt (with a selfie stick = social media?) and Isak stays by his side.

But, in the original, it starts with Even gathering up his blood (clearing up his past?) and Isak helps him back on his feet.

It ends with Sana pulling Noora up.

In the forwards version, Sana makes a decision that causes people to get hurt, while in the original Sana fixes everything just like she’s done in all three past seasons.

Also, are the roles reversed? Even bleeds in the trailer, but Isak got punched. Sana tripped Noora but Sana got hurt when Noora kissed Yousef. So if Isak is actually Even and Sana is actually Noora, is Yousef actually Mikael (and Vilde falls for Eva?)

Sana’s Attitude Towards Vilde in S4 so far

Sana seems generally annoyed at her and is ready to snip at her

“your mom is not having a wine tasting party”

Sana won’t let her talk when they go to look at the bus

Sana tells the girls they are joining with Pepsi Max, and that they pay and she is the Bus Boss

This is Vilde’s reaction:

She looks angry

But she says “sana’s the boss, she’ll fix it. Remember when she fixed the toilet paper situation (in S1)?”

This seems innocent, but I think it’s a challenge

Like “You can fix it... can’t you?”

Vilde is waiting for Sana to screw up so she can take over.

In S2, Vilde talks about how much she likes William, after she saw Noora kissing him

She does this because she’s trying to get Noora to tell her about it and get a reaction out of her

So isn’t she trying to get a reaction out of Sana too?

She’s also trying to get a rise out of Sana by talking about her and Magnus

In S4E1, before Sana walks in they are “casually talking bout different shades of blue”. Everyone stops, says hi, to her, and the Vilde pipes up and says, “anyway Magnus and I have sex all the time blahh blah blah”

In her mind, maybe what she wants to happen is Sana snaps and does something, Vilde will tell the Girl Squad she’s psycho (I could see her being like “I knew from the beginning and you guys didn’t listen to me”) and then she will be the new buss boss

Was Yousef going to kiss Sana at the end of “The Best of Islam”?

First off, I’d like to say props to Julie Andem for creating potentially the most pure relationship in television history. If Sana and Yousef do get together, I feel it is highly unlikely for them to kiss or anything, so this would be a relationship fueled by purely emotion, trust, and communication, and not on physical things (of course there’s the physical want we’ve seen from Sana’s side, but you know what I mean). I’m pretty sure no one wants to see her compromise her beliefs and have sex with Yousef or something stupid like that (like Noora did with William)

I think that he was going to kiss her

they seemed to have an entire conversation that we, the viewers, didn’t understand entirely just by looking at each other.

Yousef does this tiny little head nod (timestamp: 14:24) and leans forward a minute amount, and then Sana starts shaking her head.

Then, at 14:30 he rolls his eyes a little, and says, “No?” like he was asking to kiss her, she said no, and then he was like “why am I such an idiot, she obviously doesn’t like me if she deleted me on Facebook” etc.

This would also explain why he would kiss Noora

Sana + Noorhelm drama

Eva was the first one to know about William’s knew

Sana was the only one who wanted to tell Noora

She wanted to tell her because she’s trying to protect her friend

Just like she told Vilde William wasn’t interested in S1

Noora thought that was mean of Sana to be honest with Vilde

But Noora thought it was mean of Sana to not tell her?

SANA WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO TELL NOORA AND THEN NOORA STARTED TALKING OVER HER. In “heartbreak”, (timestamp: 5:28) Sana takes a breath and says, “Du-” (you) and immediately gets cut off by Noora saying “oh my god, if I think about him with anyone else I’m going to break” or whatever

Maybe Noora will realize this and apologize to Sana right away and it will set up Noora being on Sana’s side when she finds out about Sana being kicked off the bus?

But maybe I’m just being optimistic

Yousef and Not Fighting

I feel like the reason he stayed behind was because he didn’t want to choose sides. If we’re sticking with the theory that he knew about about Even’s suicide attempt, but the others didn’t, then this makes sense. He didn’t want to choose sides. He wouldn’t want to go out there and fight with the Balloon Squad because he obviously still cares about Even and wouldn’t want to fight his friends. But he wouldn’t want to fight with the Boy Squad because then he’d have to explain why he stood up for Even to the Balloon boys, and tell them about the suicide attempt.

What was the fight about?

My original theory: before the clip came out, I saw the BTS pics and thought maybe Magnus finds out about the SMS roulette Nudes 4 Nudes thing and dukes it out when he sees Elias. This is probably not true now that we’ve seen the clip.

Obvious theory: Mikael or Mutta, the only two outside with the Boy Squad, started a fight because they didn’t like seeing Even in a homosexual relationship. Obvious. Too obvious. Especially because the girls in the bathroom think that's why it happened.

Other: Isak threw the first punch. As we see him walking away, we see him shaking his hand. Maybe because he was shaking off blood, maybe because he was shaking off pain?

Girls in the bathroom

Like I just said, Because they think that the fight was about Muslims Vs. Gays™ this is probably not true.

Sana can’t win. According to the girls, she’s too Muslim to be on the bus and be a good bus boss... but she’s not Muslim enough to be a good representation of Islam... like... what? That conversation upset me so much.

Did Vilde snake? Or is that just false rumors? I don’t think Noora knows, or Chris, but did Eva know that they were going to throw her off the bus? She looks uncomfortable when Sana and Noora approach them and the Pepsi Max girls. Assuming they didn’t know, will they stand by her? Will they take Pepsi Max’s side?

Noora’s motivation to kiss Yousef

1. Noora did not know about Sana’s feelings for Yousef. She had already expressed interest in him, and was lonely and upset and saw him and kissed him.

2. Noora did know about Sana’s feelings for Yousef, and she was upset at Sana and wanted to get back at her. Some think that Noora expressing interest in Yousef was actually her subtly asking about Sana’s feelings for him. This seems ooc to me, but who knows?

Yousef’s Motivation to kiss Noora

This is more complicated.

Perspective: He didn’t actually like Sana, and since we’re seeing things through her eyes, she made it up in her head. He is affectionate with his friends, so he would be affectionate towards her too. (This kinda makes sense, but my Yousana shipping heart refuses to believe it)

Mama Bakkoush told him to stay away. This seems like a possibility, like after she knows 100% that there is nothing to worry about, and then she texts Sana and is like “I trust you” etc. I just feel like every time we see a kid with a religious family, the parents are always portrayed as overbearing and suffocating, and I feel like Julie is gonna give us a new look at a religious poc mom that is actually a great mom, like most of what we’ve seen of her.

The most likely thing to me seems like he liked her, and then was upset because he opened up to her in S4E4, and then she put the Balloon Boys and Evak intentionally in the same place without warning him. Or Noora told him what Sana said about him being immature etc.

Season 4 Hiatus Trailer Analysis

Who is eating the carrot?

Assuming it’s Noora, the carrot represents Yousana. She destroys it.

Assuming it’s Sana, the carrot represents her feelings. Instead of “pulling it closer”, like Yousef suggests, she “pushes it away and looses control over it.” Her feelings eat her up, and she’s stuffing all her feelings inside.

It is Isak’s black eye, someone did a side by side comparison proving it’s him.

Whose hair and whose hand?

Yousef running his hands through his hair?

Mikael running his hands through his hair?

Even running his hands through Mikael’s hair? (Pls no Julie)

It looks like a male hand, so not Noora and Yousef.

I think it’s Yousef. look at how he does it in “feel it coming”

Sara’s Mouth.

She’s smiling... dos this mean she gets what she wants and Sana is actually thrown off the bus?

BIGGER IDEAS

Why the Russ bus is Important

It’s a symbol. Y’all are complaining that it’s getting too much screen time for something we won’t even get to see, but first of all, It’s what brought the girls together in the first place. But it’s also a symbol to Sana. It’s a symbol of her Norwegian identity. 

Vilde’s Character Development / Gay Vilde

Very few side characters have gone through development. It’s mainly only been

William through the second season.

We’ve also heard of Even’s development; he hated himself for wanting to kiss boys and now he’s comfortable with himself. We didn’t actually see that though, we only know him after he’s comfortable with himself.

One could make the argue Jonas had a little development, from Jonas “you only know gay songs” Noah Vasquez in S1 to Jonas “what’s up with you dissing gay people”  “he needs to break up with his girlfriend”  “straight up” Noah Vasquez in S3.

Vilde is the most complex non-main character we’ve ever had, but is there even time for a redemption arc?

When I first saw the gay Vilde theory, I thought it was just people on Tumblr doing their thing and head cannoning her as gay with only 1 questionable scene as evidence but upon further inspection....

The thing that sticks out to me most is the scene in S1 when Vilde is trying to get turned on when thinking about William, she says “nothing makesme horny”. Then in S2 when are the girls are sitting on the windowsil, Noora is texting so it’s only in some versions of the subtitles, but Vilde’s back at it again talking about Noora being a lesbian. And Vilde says “I’ve made out with Eva. The feelings that arise when you make out with a girl don’t necessarily mean you’re a lesbian.”  Eva replies, “What kind of feelings?”  To which Vilde responds “horny”.

This post does a nice job outlining it.

Sana’s Mirror and Foil

Even is Sana’s Mirror (click here if you don’t know what a mirror is, or here to see how Noora was Isak’s mirror in S3)

Even pulled away from Isak after Isak said “I don’t want mentally Ill people in my life”

Sana pulled away from Yousef after he said “I don’t believe in Allah”

Again, God bless Julie Andem, we get to see the perspective of both sides

Even’s struggle with his past vs. his future self, and we’ll probably see him find a great balance, Sana’s struggle with her Muslim self vs her Norwegian self, which again, we will hopefully see resolved.

Noora is Sana’s Foil (click here or here if you don’t know what a foil is)

She is the epitome of the typical Norwegian girl, what Sana thinks she is expected to be like, or what she wants to fit into. The girls in the bathroom saying “wow Noora’s so pretty” Noora kissing Sana’s love interest, etc. etc.

Evak is paralleling Yousana

Evak is the foil to Vildus

I will explain more of that in a later post I will make and link to it

Parallels

Like I said, I’m working on it. It needs to be a whole separate post because this is already so long.

Themes

Figuring out who you are and who you want to be, rather than what others want you to be. In Season 1, when Eva tells Jonas that “his opinion meant more than her own, and that’s not okay.” The central theme of Season 1, reflected again in Season 3 with Isak struggling to fit in with his friends. This also seems to be making a comeback in Season 4, Sana struggling between her Muslim identity, her Norwegian identity, and her personality. She’s the kind of person who’s comfortable with who she is, but I think she has yet to find out who that is.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

Learn to consider how other people think. Everyone has their reasons for what they do, not everyone will think the way you do, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think back to Sana and Noora and the windowsill talk in Season 2, or in Season 3 when Sana tells Isak “can’t we just agree that there’s a lot between Heaven and Earth that none of us know anything about? Instead of sitting here criticizing my religion, just respect that we’ve chosen different beliefs.”

Alt er love

Predestination. In season 3, with all of the Christianity symbolism and talk of parrallel universes, we see that you can’t see the future. Every choice you make affects the possibilities for the future, so instead of worrying about what you did, and what might happen, just remember that

Life is Now.

Misunderstandings. Season 4. This is pretty self explanatory, and I’m extremely interested to see how his plays out.

Perspective. THIS IS HUGE. THIS IS THE OVERALL THEME OF THE ENTIRE SHOW, SO IT GETS ITS OWN SECTION.

PERSPECTIVE

Oh boy, here we go. The reason why the narrative only stays in one person’s perspective for a whole season is because that’s how we get immersed in the story. We don’t know more than they know, we are frustrated because we don’t know why that other person did that thing to the main. It makes everything more relatable, and hit closer to home. This ties into communication is key, this ties into misunderstandings, this ties into be yourself, this ties into Alt er love, this ties into be kind always. It teaches us that we can’t get into someone else head. We can’t make assumptions about other people. We won’t ever truly understand someone without seeing everything from their perspective.

So remember: Karma’s a bitch, be kind, always, alt er love, and life is... Now.

[meowingatthesea]

Hey babe it's revenge time. I challenge u to answer every even ask that starts with a consonant.🎀

Babe this is cruel and unusual punishment. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Eww no they're basically my older sister 2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Define ex 3. Have you taken someones virginity?yup I ran into their bedroom and stole it from their deskDid you hang out with the person you like recently?No we need to get our shit together 6. What are you excited for?Folklife is in two weeks!7. What happened tonight?I practiced for covenant renewal and gave a speech on what Judaism means to me8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?Listen its their choice not mine10. What is the last beverage you had?Water. I am high and as such suuuuuuper thirsty11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?One. @coolgaycanada my bitch 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Lol no13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?Stay up too fucking late with one of my best friends then regret it when I have to wake up at 5 on Sunday 14. What are you going to spend money on next?New headphones mine broke 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?Of course. Especially because ill go to mitzvah corps. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?@oh-bitch-you-wary or @inconvenientcalamity18. The last time you felt broken?YesterdAy?19. Have you had sex today?... 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Sign me the fuck up24. What do you want right this second?Take a shower25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?harlet 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?No. Thats a requirement of being my friend and being my friend is a requirment for dating. 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?Rory pooping in the hallway during the show. 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?@cushiestcomplaints ily so so much 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Depends on what they did 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?No they're super nice and we've known each other since we were like 332. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Nope. Not at alllllllllll. 34. Listening to?Clinton the musical. 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Mechanical pencils are where its at36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?I hope theyre at home rn they're probably asleep37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Lust at first site yes love no38. Who did you last call?My mom 39. Who was the last person you danced with?Emma, in the wings of Annie while waiting for our cues. 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?We both wanted to kiss someone and we were convenient options. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Long long ago 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No I don't hug adult figures in my life. 44. Do you tan in the nude??46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?No I wanna @oh-bitch-you-wary hmu47. Who was the last person to call you?My sister, to talk about the Broadway show she just saw48. Do you sing in the shower?FUCKING BELT IT49. Do you dance in the car?see above answer 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?6th grade?52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?did you read my blog59. Take a vitamin daily?yes I'm under nourished 60. Wear slippers?No61. Wear a bath robe?I should62. What do you wear to bed?Sweats and an over large shirt63. First concert?Idk man64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target duh65. Nike or Adidas?No66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?No68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?Idk73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Yesssssss rarely but once or twice74. What is your favorite book?DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE75. Do you study better with or without music?music I have memorized 76. Regularly burn incense?Nah78. Who would you like to see in concert?Haley kiyoko 79. What was the last concert you saw?Does Nanny Dichols count?80. Hot tea or cold tea?Hot81. Tea or coffee?Tea82. Favorite type of cookie?The good kind83. Can you swim well?Semi84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Yup91. Best room for a fireplace?ALL OF THEM 92. Do you want to get married?Eventually