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oliverreedmasterass · 1 year

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GVF going to a liquor store before a party they are throwing may be a bit of a disaster.

I am SO SORRY it's taken me so long to write this!! But I absolutely love this idea, thank you for the prompt!

Booze Run

Words: 3k

Warnings: language, drinking, mentions of hallucinations

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“How much time do we have before people start coming over?” Sam asked from the couch, placing his oversized sunglasses on his face upside down as he studied the cracks in the ceiling.

“A couple hours, maybe two or three?” Josh guessed from his spot on the carpet beneath the glass living room table.

“We still need to go out and grab drinks,” Danny realized.

Jake let out a huff. “Fuck,” he grumbled.

Slowly, the four men leaned forward from their spots around Sam’s living room and studied each other, none looking all too enthusiastic to get up. Taking charge as the oldest (and most mature, in his opinion) of the four, Josh cleared his throat.

“Let’s make a game out of our drink run,” he suggested. He scanned his bandmates’ faces and was pleased to see that he had their attention. Sam was the first to take the bait.

“What kind of game?” he squinted his eyes. Josh’s idea of a good time was usually a hit or miss. Josh rubbed his hands together and tried to think on his feet.

“It’ll be like Secret Santa,” he planned. “We draw names and then buy a bottle of something for that person, and that’ll be their drink for the evening.”

“That seems like it could be fun,” Danny commented.

“We can call it Incognito Intoxicants,” Jake muttered.

“That’s the spirit!” Josh called out in joy.

“Literally, the spirit,” Jake whispered to himself, cracking a smile at his play on words.

With a grunt Josh rolled himself out from underneath the coffee table and sprung to his feet while clapping his hands, which made Danny jump in shock. “We need a hat to put the names in,” Josh announced.

Sam slowly looked across the couch at Jake and tracked his eyes up to the straw hat that was tugged over Jake’s ears. Jake cautiously looked back at Sam with his eyebrow arched and gave his head a shake, warning Sam to stay back. Seemingly unbothered by his glare, Sam lurched across the middle sofa cushion between them and tore the hat off his head, causing Jake to let out a surprised squeak.

“My hair is greasy,” Jake complained as he retracted his hands up to cover his head.

“Josh asked for a hat, and you’ve got a hat. Get over it.”

Jake continued to cover his roots in sheer embarrassment, but he didn’t argue with Sam any further. While they had an intense stare-off, Josh hurried back to Sam’s kitchen and retrieved a pen and a stack of post-it notes so he could scribble out everyone’s names. Still maintaining eye contact with Jake, Sam handed Josh the hat so he could toss the papers inside.

“Who should pick first?” Danny asked after gazing at Jake and Sam with worry.

Sam averted his attention from Jake and cleared his throat. “I say youngest first.”

“Just because you said that, we’re starting with the oldest first,” Josh countered.

“Nope,” Jake stepped in, holding a throw pillow over his head to replace his hat. “I started this band, so you all have me to thank for your success. It’s only right that I go first.”

While the brothers bickered amongst themselves, Danny slid a paper out from Jake’s straw hat, which was left unattended on the coffee table. He read the name and made a soft “huh” sound which caught the Kiszkas’ attention, as they turned around to face him.

“Josh can go next since this was his idea,” Danny delegated. “And then Jake, and then Sam.”

“Why am I last?” Sam whined. Danny chose to ignore his friend and passed the hat to Josh, who methodically selected a paper. Jake grabbed the hat from Josh, pulled out a paper, and threw the remaining one at Sam so he could secure his hat back on his head.

“Happy with your results?” Danny asked around. Josh, Jake, and Sam were all staring down at their post-it notes, looking deep in thought. Finally Josh snapped his head up and gave Danny a large thumbs up.

“I got exactly who I wanted.”

“Me too,” Sam agreed.

“Same,” Jake’s smile was wide. Danny was glad that he had dodged a full-fledged Kiszka fight and, since he was feeling good, he offered to drive them all down to the local liquor store, which was about ten minutes away.

“I call shotgun,” Josh hollered before his brothers could call dibs.

“I can drive us there,” Jake frowned at Danny.

“No you can’t, dude,” Sam put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Your license is fucking suspended.”

“Is it?” Jake turned around to face his brother.

“You still have four months to go,” Sam looked at him with concern. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been driving around.”

“How the hell do you think I got here?” Jake stared back at his brother.

“Oh lord,” Sam pinched at the bridge of his nose.

Danny retrieved his car keys from his shorts pocket and rattled them around to get everyone’s attention. With their eyes all on him, Danny nodded towards the door.

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get this run over with.”

“Amen to that,” Sam agreed.

On the drive to the liquor store, Sam leaned in Jake’s direction, which caused him to instinctually fling his hand up to hold his hat in place so Sam wouldn’t steal it. Sam rolled his eyes at this and tried to whisper at Jake so Danny and Josh wouldn’t hear from the front seats.

“Whose name did you draw?” he asked. Jake looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye, pursed his lips together, and then shook his head, earning a huff from Sam. “I knew you wouldn’t talk,” Sam’s tone was bitter.

“It’ll spoil the surprise,” Jake whispered back.

In the driver’s seat, Danny’s mind was racing as they sped along the highway. He had picked Sam’s name and, in a state of panic, was trying to remember what kind of booze Sam liked best. Secret Santa was one of Danny’s favorite games because he loved treating those closest to him to a nice surprise and seeing if they could guess that he was the one who had gone out of his way to get them something especially heartfelt. He hoped that he could find something that would brighten Sam’s day.

On the flip side, Josh watched the trees pass by out the window and grinned. He had chosen Danny’s name and, while the man was about as kind as they come, Josh couldn’t resist the temptation to find him a bottle that was sure to make groan in dread. Otherwise, what was the point of the game?

“Can you at least give me a hint?” Sam tried to whisper to Jake again. Once more Jake shook his head, which Sam responded to by sticking out his tongue.

“And…we’re here,” Danny announced as he put the car in park. “Thank god,” he added under his breath. It was a miracle that no mayhem broke loose on their drive over. The guys unbuckled their seatbelts and, in a line, moved to the entrance of the liquor store. With Josh in the lead, he pulled the glass door open and they entered the cramped shop, the bell ringing sharply over their heads.

“I’ll give us ten minutes to get our drinks,” Josh shared with his friends as they stood in the front entrance of the store. “If you don’t check out by 6:10, you’re disqualified.”

“Let’s sync our watches,” Jake looked around at everyone. “Oh wait,” he realized, “I don’t have a watch.”

Josh ignored his brother’s comment and nodded around at the group. “I’ll grab the other drinks for the party as well,” he said. “I already know what drink I’m getting for the Incognito Intoxicant, I don’t need ten minutes.”

“Ooh, cocky,” Sam poked fun. “Look at this guy.”

Once again, Josh let that comment pass without any acknowledgment.

“Ready?” he looked around for confirmation. After being met with nods, Josh waved his hand down with a swoosh and called out, “go!”

Immediately Sam, Jake, and Danny tore for separate parts of the liquor store: Jake to the spirits section, Sam to the aisle filled to the brim with wine, and Danny to the beer. Josh chuckled as he watched them disappear and strolled to the register where a middle aged man was watching Josh and his friends with interest.

“Your usual?” he asked as Josh folded his arms on the sticky counter.

“Yup, and a little extra something,” Josh said with a quick wink. The cashier rolled a couple of kegs out from the back and then retrieved a set of keys to unlock the glass case behind him. “Oscar Wilde me,” Josh called to him. “I want some hard stuff.”

“What’s the occasion?” the cashier conversed with Josh.

“Just introducing one of my pals to something out of this world,” Josh grinned. The cashier slid an especially old looking bottle to Josh, who inspected it. “This is perfect,” he blew out.

In the beer section, Danny looked up and down the rows of bottles with a deep frown. He knew that Sam really didn’t care too much about beer, as long as it went down without a fight, but he wanted to find something that Sam was sure to love. The problem was, Danny’s understanding of beer was about the same as Sam’s. If the first taste didn’t make his face scrunch up in disgust, he usually considered it to be a winner.

“I should find something imported,” Danny whispered to himself. “Sam is into that kinda shit.”

He moved past the Bud Light and Coors bottles and perked up when he found a case of German beers that advertised a light and fruity flavor. It was a relatively hot day in Nashville, so Danny knew that, after letting the beers chill in the fridge for a few hours, Sam would be in for a real treat. He grabbed the case, inspected it to make sure there was no damage on the cardboard casing, and carried the booze up to the front register.

Sam was having a field day in the wine section, finding a bottle for his Incognito Intoxicant, Josh. Josh was known for his salty dogs, but the guy also enjoyed a good glass of wine from time to time. It only felt right that Sam would choose the most rank bottle of wine on the shelf to make up for all the snooty comments he had to endure from Josh on their many winery outings. It was easy to single out the really bad bottles since they were at the very edge of the aisle and all listed for under $10 per bottle. Sam considered grabbing some two buck chuck to burn a hole through Josh’s intestines, but then gaped at a bottle tucked on the bottom row.

“Oh shit,” Sam whispered, grabbing the drink and then cradling it in his arms. “Josh is in for a rough night.”

Jake gazed at the fancy bottles of hard liquor around him and felt entirely in his element. He didn’t have a firm idea what he wanted to buy, so he decided to let fate call the shots and spun around in ten quick circles, to the point where he couldn’t tell left from right. With his vision blurred beyond belief, Jake stumbled around the aisle and eventually grasped onto one of the metal bars securing the bottles of booze in place. He held himself steady and tried to regain his composure before taking in the bottle in front of his face.

“Oh ho ho,” he chuckled at his selection.

Everyone eventually met back at Danny’s car, all making it in time before their ten minutes were up. Jake nearly didn’t make it because it took him a while to find the cashier due to his spinning head, but he still had a few minutes to spare.

“Feeling good?” Josh asked around.

“Hell fuckin yeah,” Sam replied. Danny nodded with a wide grin.

“Ay,” Jake added.

“Let’s do the grand reveal then,” Josh announced. He pulled a pen out of his back pocket and quickly scrawled out a name on the paper bag that was concealing his bottle. Taking his lead, Danny, Sam, and Jake proceeded to do the same and then, all filled with anticipation, they placed their bottles in the middle of the circle.

“Should we have at it?” Danny could hardly contain his excitement. Josh nodded and the four tore for the pile of booze, trying to seek out their designated drink.

“Get your grimey fingers off my bottle,” Sam scolded Josh, who was holding Sam’s bag and trying to find the name on it. While Sam, Josh, and Danny struggled to retrieve their respective beverages, Jake was quick to snatch his bag and stand off to the side, watching them in interest.

“How hard is it to find your goddamn name?” he had to ask. This kicked Sam, Josh, and Danny into gear and, within seconds, everything was sorted out.

“We’ll go one at a time and guess who got us our drink,” Josh shared, then turning on his heel to face Danny. “You go first.”

“I think I can guess who drew my name,” Danny murmured with a laugh as he stuck his hand into the bag and slowly pulled out an aged bottle of absinthe. “Huh?” he stared down at the label. Jake and Sam started to howl with laughter.

“I thought you could change it up tonight,” Josh explained to Danny, entirely forgetting that Danny was supposed to guess who his Incognito Intoxicant was. “Live a little in the past, you know, let it take you back in time.”

“Thank you?” Danny guessed. He wasn’t looking forward to drinking the greenish liquid, but he didn’t want Josh to know he was feeling disappointed. He tried to find the silver lining, reasoning to himself that it was an opportunity to try something new. Josh watched Danny’s face travel through a wide range of emotions as he studied the bottle, which was more than enough payoff for his prank.

“I’ll go next,” Sam decided, growing impatient waiting for his turn. Before Jake or Josh could argue that they wanted to go next, Sam tore open the bag and let it drop to the paved ground so he could focus his attention on the label. “Hofbrau Munchen Hefeweizen?” He read aloud. “Did I pronounce that right?” Sam inspected the label closer and then retrieved his phone from his back pocket to translate the writing on the package. “Oh, light and fruity tones, I like the sound of that!” his face lit up. Danny attempted to maintain a poker face, but it was impossible for him not to grin a little. Sam scanned around at his brothers and, with a chuckle, pointed at Danny. “Thank you, Daniel.”

With his cover blown, Danny finally let his smile fully stretch across his face. “How did you know it was me?”

“Jake would have pissed in a bottle and given it to me,” Sam explained, “and I’m afraid of what Josh would have done.”

“That’s an accurate assumption,” Jake nodded.

“I thought the whole point of this was to get something the person would enjoy,” Danny tried to gain some clarity.

“Oh no, that’s definitely not what I had in mind,” Josh shook his head with a laugh. He studied the paper bag in his hands and tugged it open, reaching his hand in to grab his bottle. “Oh Jesus,” he murmured as he studied the Stella Rosa Watermelon-flavored wine. Turning to Danny, he motioned at the bottle. “This is the kind of shit I’d expect to get. My Incognito Intoxicant obviously wants me to suffer.” He looked closer at the light pink liquid and gave it a small shake. “This is going to be sweet as a motherfucker. What am I supposed to pair this with?”

“Watermelon, of course,” Jake deadpanned. Josh shook his head at his brother with a scowl, and then pointed at him.

“You did this,” he accused. Jake’s hands retracted up in a defensive position and he was quick to shake his head.

“My dignity couldn’t handle buying a bottle like that in public, even if it was for you.”

“Sam?” Josh turned to face his younger brother.

“Guilty,” Sam gave a mischievous grin.

“You sick fuck,” Josh spat out, though he also had to give a chuckle. For what it was worth, Sam’s choice was especially sinister, which Josh did respect.

“That leaves me then,” Jake grunted. The other three watched as he rolled down the paper bag to reveal only the top of the bottle and flicked the lid off. “Ahh,” he grunted out after taking a long, thoughtful chug from the mysterious liquid. “That’s the good shit.”

“Hold on a second,” Danny thought hard. “I had Sam, Sam had Josh, and Josh had me. So that means…?”

“Yup,” Jake finished Danny’s thought for him, “I treated myself to a nice drink for the evening.”

“That’s not fair!” Sam protested.

“Josh didn’t set any rules about it,” Jake shrugged. “Get over it.”

Josh tried to get a better look at Jake’s drink. “What did you go with?”

“Cognac,” Jake replied after another drink. “I thought I’d switch it up tonight.”

“Interesting,” Josh nodded.

Danny checked the time on his phone and then motioned back at his car.

“We’d better get a move on before people start showing up.”

“Oh shit, right,” Sam said, turning on his heel to retreat to Danny’s car.

“Great, I can’t wait to see what watermelon-flavored wine tastes like,” Josh sarcastically retorted while he and Jake walked in line behind Sam and Danny.

“It’s gonna taste bad, I can tell you that,” Jake assured him. “But it should go down easy. Just chug it in the beginning and then it’ll be over.”

“Nah, I think I’ll nurse it,” Josh decided. “I don’t want to be beyond inebriated and miss Danny’s reaction to the absinthe.”

“Do you think he’s gonna hallucinate?”

“You can hallucinate on absinthe?” Danny turned around to ask Jake and Josh, his eyes wide.

“Oh boy,” Sam laughed. “We’re in for an interesting night.”

#gvf #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #gvf fic #the guys go on a booze run #what could go wrong?#the answer is a lot

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