#the battery isnt fucking exploding

[cupcake-mcsprinkleman-iii]

You did it, tumblr! You defeated corporate greed!

[fuzziemutt]

I wish I was like a god at cars and just able to fix that shit in my yard with ease and say yeah the shitbox 4th plug just needs a bit more elbow grease but I ain't letting this fucker die yet, yet here I am kicking its damn stationary wheel for the 50th time

[kremlin]

words of wisdom...

a you should stop doing magical thinking if you know nothing, making more measurements will not help you i told you before, stop applying patches from ubuntu linux to 9front BurnZeZ: wrong wrong troff is the assembly language of text setting, lots of newlines god damn it theres no error message for stupidity just stop doing that yeah off to work m( \o/ Dis code doesnt fuck arround i just know pokemon exception handling… catch them all stop bullshitting I can no longer sit back and allow NIX infiltration, NIX indoctrination, NIX subversion and the international NIX conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious cats. maybe i can get a job as deep packet inspector filtering the internet is like trying to vacuum the desert my inodes explode in delight @_@ this bug report is full of bugs until reproducable test cases are provided, i dont belive anything why does plan9 always have to change to fix go? i have an idea what if the battery runs low on my smc file? but why do you need that? i wonder lets make a website wrong. we cannot abandon logic i have no tools to fight witchcraft 9front is sandcastles on the beach, everything else is sandcastles in YOUR FUCKING EYES they should'v been more sorry you probably killed yourself is there any good init system for systemd? its like dos, but it doesnt work every time you hit backspace with a selection in rio, robs pink sunglasses reflect a flash of light how does my opinion matter? the best code is the one that isnt there. so this is fossil bug thats easy another way would be me moving to america why do i have to repeat myself LET THEM EAT SNAKES. which all can be avoided with discipline old rob: "no." -> new rob "No." "no key matches" might be misleading honor, code, hjfs. fuck you intel we'r already pretty much dead with captain blaub├ñr this wouldnt have happend. i'd not advice for using tls so really, unix doesnt have this concept of a shred env srv files are not srv files stop mashing keys

[mylifetherant]

Isnt this the same truck with a fucking marble slab for a dashboard?

I love putting my cement shoes in my unescapable truck and its "explodes when wet lithium battery" directly in the fucking river. : )

i want you all to take a moment and appreciate that i INTENDED to make an edit like this as a joke and then it actually happened like he cant be serious

[cozbunny]

YAAYYY IM FINALLY GETTING A GOOD PHONE AFTER ASKING MY FAMILY FOR ONE SINCE I WAS IN 4TH GRADE!!! (i turn 17 in 4 days)

[shrikeicee]

i havent posted in while so heres some oc (heres the picrew link)

their name is rhett and they live in a society that has superpowers except theirs isnt deemed “useful” so they live on a ranch. their power is that they have an electromagnetic field that fucks up any tech around them whether it be electric or battery powered. yeah like jean jacket from nope be quiet. their scars are from gettin kicked in the head by a horse and from a phone exploding when they tried to hold it (tech breaks if they get too close to it)

[huebris808]

OKAY ON THE LAPTOP NOW time to dump a bunch of shit about this madcom au(????) Bare With Me.

so basically after audi Fucking Explodes in 10 the employers send them back to their realm for Smoke Crimes (auditor you were supposed to just lay groundwork for us not take shit for yourself you’re grounded grounded grounded) their punishment is to watch over nevada’s return to normality for eternity i guess! after a full year of Basically Channel Surfing audi finds the main 4 + jeb&tricky hiding in some randomass corner of nevada and watches them occasionally cause its funny. Hilarity Ensues 

(this is just the intro/setup to the story itself, audi won’t be involved in actual story things cause i dont know if i could write them good :-( also fem-presenting auditor because i am just Bastard)

ONTO THE ACTUAL CAST -

the main 4 are Doin Okay! dating? Absolutely. polycule? Perhaps. a majority of their injuries/changes are no longer there due to normality restoration! deimos misses the rock claws sometimes :-( hank took up gardening/farming because the physical work’s Good and they’re 300 miles away from any grocery stores. The Car Ride Takes Too Damn Long (they’ll usually go out for sanford’s Monthly Buy Shit Can’t Make Or Find Here Haul)

jeb escaped to the outskirts of nevada to reflect on shit like “ooohhh i gotta atone for my sins hhghhgbjfd” and also to form a truce w/ main4 since they all kinda escaped for the sole purpose of Not Being Seen By People Who Might Recognize Them. tricky just showed up at 3am in his home at some point like “YOU AND CLOWN NEED TO THROW USED CAR BATTERIES INTO THE OCEAN”

SPEAKING OF THE CLOWN: tricky sure is remembering stuff about being hof as a result of normality! (this includes the car battery thing by the way. blissful memories of wrecking phobos’s car in various together on really stressful work days. ahh young love <3) both the Audi Explosion and the restoration caused the improbability drive (or whats left of it rather) to become some weirdass life-support system! it still has some slight reality-bending shit that isnt too God-Moddy! they’re still green cause they want to. also something happens that involved the hoffy thing that i will Not Spoil Because I Think The Concept Is Too Funny (its not a sad thing i promise it’ll just be mildly silly whenever i write it out)

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E5 LiveThoughts

And now for the last episode before the HUGE break they’re taking. Seriously, February? Damn, whats going on at RT?

It matters not. Lets see what this weeks episode has for us.

And here we see Aminety Colloseum, the place that Atlas SHOULD have weaponized the moment it rolled its way back here. Seriously look at it; floating free away from everything else...you could mount missile launchers and laser batteries and CIWS batteries on it, launch fighters from it, let dropships deploy through its base...a floating aircraft carrier of unprecidented size.

Or maybe turn it into a weapon...use its drive system to focus Dust energy into some kind of gravitational force...thats just me though.

Missed oppertunites...ah well.

You CAN see its been adjusted though, it looks less like the sports arena from its last apperance and more like a floating coms hub, with those dishes on the outside and the huge spire.

Intersetingly if you look in the upper right corner the moon is there but almost completely covered by the storm Salem summoned. Interesting.

Wait why is PEITRO out there? With like...no supports? Seems kinda dangerous to send the weak old dude out there...

...thats a bomb. A Dust bomb in pipe bomb style form but thats very much a bomb.  Yes, Penny, danger indeed.

Atmospheric orbit. Ahhh that must be the low-level orbit path that they need to ensure it doesnt loose power. The part where you coast along with almost no drag.  Like what the X-15 hit in our world, and punched through at least once.

WAIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. Thats some kind of loader mech. THATS A FUCKING UTILITY TITAN. WHEN DID ATLAS GET ONE OF THOSE?!

Also thats a jet engine.

And Maria’s piloting it. To quote Daimon Baird; I know wha thappens when you let an angry chick loose with a power loader.

Multiple bombs...wait. Thats the mine that RWBY fought in with the Aces, the one that almost blew the fuck up. They’re... Oh. I get it now. They’re gonna use the blast to fling Amneity into upper orbit and stabalize it. Clever. Not exactly SAFE, but clever. Just hope the mine doesnt go anywhere important. Those tunnels are going to turn into firestorms.

Cute, she thinks she can stay and help. Trust me, Penny. You’re better off running.

MARIA CASUALLY DOING THE MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER THING WITH HER MECH...THE HIP HAND. MY GOD.

Oh, and his chair has gravity restraints too. They...gonna handle the impact of the launch? I mean thats literally a fuel/air bomb under them. Dust/air...

Well Maria seems alright with it.

OH GOD DAMMIT. Its Cinder isnt it? Fucking bitch...

On the positive side if she DOES hitch a ride then they get a chance to give her the ol’ “Long fall special”.  Lets see your maiden powers save you from a fall from near orbit.

Well then, she burned right through the floor. Interesting. Maiden powers or her own, who knows...I do admit seeing her ride the ship in like that is kinda cool.

The eagerness in Cinders remaining eye interest me. Also, even when using maiden powers, her dead eye emits nothing. So that whole parts just gone. 

Secondary note, I think they’re standing on the...Shade emblem? Shade is the swords I think. Vale is the axes, Atlas is the staff, Havens the lamp. Doubt it means anything.

Ahhh, okay I was gonna say, that launch was...kinda lackluster. But the blast is being used as a BOOST on top of the four existing external thrusters. Like the yellow emergency turbines on the outside of the Pillar of Autumn in the end cutscene of Halo Reach

Dust explodes in its own individual colors. The blast under them looks like a Pride festival.

Also Penny just going WHAP like that amuses me, whereas Cinder just crouches. Guess she knew what was coming.

I dont see how the blast is helping through...maybe its the pressure wave and we cant see it right.

Now THAT is a command and control table!

Based on the image I can see, the map is showing “Atlas Mantle” in the middle in green, Aminety in red to the north, and the whale as its own red marker just off to the west a bit of Atlas/Mantle. So now we know where everything is stationed.

The scales all kindsa weird tho

Ah THERES the G-force. Emeralds literally stuck to the floor.

And because Cinders an unoriginal bitch, fire swords. Im not impressed ot say the least.  On a side note that DOES mean that radiobandit was right about her powers, so theres that. I’d wager this is a combination of her semblance and the maiden abilities.

For those who follow me, Cinder’s blades here are similar in look to what Ash Vulcan can summon, minus the fire. His are more of a cooled obsidian look.  They are, however, as sharp as these are, but much less sturdy. Ex; the one that pins itself to the wall by Penny’s head would have shattered on impact, which Ash uses as a secondary ability. Because no one likes a hundred glass shards in their eyes...

OH HELL YES. Maria with the mech. Now, Cinder...TASTE METAL FIST.

RT...I salute you. Angry mother figure piloting a giant robot screaming “get away from her you bitch”. ALMOST had it. Almost.

What smacked into her though. Neo?

Yes, Neo piloting their escape craft. Interseting.

Emerald looks completely useless and confused and Neo is suddenly very much in a realization shes inside a tin can and MARIA IS OPERATING A GIANT TIN CAN OPENER

Emeralds semblance works on Maria. Interseting, so it must bypass eyes. Effect the brain specifically. Note to self for Chrys on that...

WHY did Neo take Ruby’s form when shes fighting Maria? On that Maria seems very happy to brawl on the ground now. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Additional math note; “broadcasting range” is, by this numerical, 543.523 of...whatever Remnant uses as units. On Earth, the edge of outerspace is almost exactly 100 km, or 62 miles, straight up. So going by that measurement... (Doing the math here hang on)...1 km is equal to 5.43 of Remnants distance units. Lets just say 5.5. Assuming Remnants edge is the same (but everything we’ve seen so far hints that it is, or at least very close)

Alternatively, since we heard klicks used in V4, but miles used in After The Fall, we can assume this is one of those, meaning that either broadcast altitude on Remnant is ABSURDLY HIGH, because 500km is literally 5 times the edge of space on earth, and 540 miles is ALMOST 9 TIMES AS HIGH. Either way Im pretty sure this is the first measurement of Remnants units we’ve seen.

Alternatively alternatively, judging by the arrows we see, these might be required velocity to maintain orbit, which MAY make a bit more sense but it doesnt really fit. Low orbital velocity on earth for example is 17,000 KPH. Even with the math above, theres still a TITANIC difference.

And now we see the numvers going down again because CINDER BURNED A HOLE IN THROUGH ONE OF THE STABALIZERS. Bitch.

Again on th e weaponizing the colleseum; look at all this empty space. They didnt even remove it from when it was a consorse for the festival. You could put SO MANY weapon emplacements...the landing pads are still there!

Oh so now Cinders a Dawnblade from RWBY is she.

And exploding arrows too. Alright then, sure, why not.

Not sure what the point of this little bit was, aside from Penny trying to draw Cinder off and Cinder going back because...evil? Bait for Penny? Who knows. 

Oh yeah, Marias having a GOOD time. Also, Neos face when she gets kicked in it; “NO, NOT THE SANDEL!”

Also the disrespect from Maria. Yes. Suck it, Neo.

Also theres some timeskippage, as there is NOT a 2 minute gap between when we see the clock the first time and when we see it now. I dont think, anyway. Im sure theres math to be done but it serves the purpose its suppose to, for tension.

Uhhhh...Cinder, please. Your Salem’s most bottom of bitches right now. She favors Hazel and Tyrian over you.

Did Cinder really just try for a does not compute moment. Or is she just out of ideas.

Cinder stealing the maiden powers reminds me of the Grip of the Devourer perk from the Necromatic Grips in Destiny 2. Mainly the green energy flowing. I know thats Pennys aura stuff but it does remind me.

Ahhh they got a plan with Emerald then. Interesting. Also Neo taking advantage of a distraction sounds like her. 

And Penny ONESHOTS Neo. Lets be real here, without aura? She’d be LIQUID. Or maybe ash. Not sure how Penny’s funnels (THEYRE STILL FUCKING FUNNELS DAMMIT) works.

Annnnddd you forgot shes a robot and sees aura didn’t you.  Again, without aura, she’d be dead. Actually, she might legit be dead considering that scream. That sounds like the noise someone makes as their organs are fried by high intensity radiation. Not too mention the MASSIVE BURN MARK on the back wall there.

Either way; GET FUCKED BITCH.

Very dramatic, Emerald, but really, come on. Penny has lasers. You would get maybe one more shot (from a weapon that has, at best from my viewpoint) a caliber equal to MAYBE a 9mm pistol. That stuff doesnt have the penetration power required.

If Penny wasn’t nice and more interested in saving Peitro...you’d be dead. Ripped asunder and Cinder made even worse. 

A pity, really, Penny has a heart. But...hey. Real girl.

I feed upon Emeralds tears though. Mmm. Simpy.

What the HELL is hitting them. Grimm?

Oh boy here we go, more of this. Like...bruh. Just set down for a bit. Always gotta be dramatic dont ya

Aww. Touching. But pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Interesting note but she puts her gloved hand on his cheek, not the one with the glove burned off. For what thats worth again.

Holy shit, that map wasnt lying. That whale’s almost as big as Atlas is from this angle. Mind you, might just be a trick of the location but it would make sense if they were afraid of a Grimm THAT GOD DAMN BIG. I was just seeing it as like, about the size of a normal sperm whale, maybe as big as the Leviathan from the series of the same name, but even that was barely 150 feet long. This things HUGE.

Nope. Pretty sure its about the same size as Atlas is long.

Also the Moon seems smaller from this angle oddly enough.

Wait is she gonna superman this fucking thing?

Okay yes, the numbers were based on distance not velocity, as Penny is pushing the stadium UP, rather than accelerating it in proper stance.

The noises she makes...huh. Glad my sister didnt walk in on those. Sounds...not like someone straining.

Hey look, its clumsy shitface McGee. HES NOT DEAD!

Note about the message; whos the chick with the eye patch next to the faunus in the back left of Ruby.

Im going to assume the first place we see the message played is the Mistral Black Market. Seems fitting for how it is, and the design matches Havens ascetic. 

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE EARED FAUNUS GIRL IN THE HOLE. OH NO. SHES TOO CUTE.

Also in that same shot we see the old Karen from two episodes ago, a mouse girl, Fiona’s mole uncle, and someone new I think. Plus the huge eared girls mom who has a fox tail. And also one of the thirsty moms and her kid maybe?

Hey, Sun and Neptune! Out in the middle of nowhere in Vacuo. So this is the first time we’ve seen it in the show. 

And Ilia’s still alive too!

Hey and Goodwytch too. No voice, of course...she got fired ages ago.

Also hey, so this is where Ironwoods been. I love how Hare turns it off before Ruby finishes. 

I will note that technically Ruby’s not wrong. Ironwood cant be trusted. But then, he couldnt before because (gestures to Atlas’s pathetic, scraggy SOFT “military” instead of THE CHAD FORCES OF...uh...) (Rapid sounds of shuffling papers and files labeled “UNSC” “Coalition of Ordered Governments” “SRPA” “GAR” and “Yukon Confederacy” fly off the table)

Several others. Yes. Lets go with that. (Accidentally bumps paper labeled “Vanguard” off the desk)

Watts is back out I see too. 

Wait wait wait. Penny’s blades operate via chips...part of her, sure. So WHY does she need wires on them? AGAIN. WHY ARE THEY WIRE FUNNELS AND NOT SEPERATE ONES.

Interestingly the inside of the one Watts has resembles a Scroll...did Peitro commender that technology?

No focusing system for the laser. No chamber for acceleration or direction. Odd.

Salem looks oddly glad for this. Probably cause she thinks this is going to spread more fear. 

And Ruby gets to the heart of the deal. You dont beat something that cant be killed. You capture it. Hurt it. BREAK IT. A sentient being can only take so much punishment before it shatters into madness and controllable fragments. You just. Need. To. Hit. It. HARD. ENOUGH. 

Additionally Ruby’s got a point there too. Salem played the shadows until this moment when everything was going her way. So...whats she afraid of.

Annnnddd thats all it takes to hijack Penny? Seriously.

Fuckin god damn useless Atlas bullshit fucking...(LONG SUFFERING SIGH OF A TECH NERD)

Hey theres Taiyang. Where’s Raven?

Wait hold on a second. She catches fire literally two seconds after she falls? You gotta fall a bit more than that for shit to start happening. WHAT THE FUCK IS REMNANTS ATMOSPHERE?! Or is it just dramatic...

Also as a small note the way the coms between her and Peitro cut off like that is accurate to reentry; during the hottest part of a splashdown, a space craft creates such a huge trail of energy behind it, rattling and burning its way down, it creates a blackout with its own passage. So based on the massive Apollo style reentry fire cone shes already putting out shes most likely going to be out of coms until she slows down orrrrrr craters into Remnants surface with the force of a meteor. 

And no. I dont think shes dead. The fact that, DESPITE being surrounded by the kind of fireball that worked its way into the fueltank of the space shuttle Discovery and blew it and its crew to bits on reentry, she was still intact...shes probably going to be fine.

Hacked, certainly, but fine. It takes more than that to finish her. Besides now that shes hacked, she has to fight Ruby. We all want that right?

Ahh good to see Winter in full armor now. Or...close to it. Im sure some of its a support rig for her injuries but I like to think this is the start of Atlas’s Specialist Weaponization Program.

Ironwood makes a good call here. Same thought process as mine.

Salutes in this world are the same as ours. Interesting. Must change that for the HKs

Annnndd of course Watts steals the busted Scroll because IRONWOOD IS A FUCKING DUMBASS

...um.

Im...not even going to COMMENT on what the FUCK this thing is that Jaunes detachment found. 

Also why is there A TREE in the tundra?

Oh, caustic. Interesting.

Mmmm. (Pause. Fingers to lips)

Thats your plan, Salem? To literally leak liquid Grimm into Mantle.

More silence.

Ladies and gentlemen...Salem is, officially, THE WORST VILLAN. OF ALL TIME.

The level of incompetence and stupidity I have seen here today completely obliterates the LAST person to hold that title, President Snow from the Hunger Games.

The amount of unnececary back door work and seecret plotting here astounds me. Shes doing this because she can, Im SURE of it. Theres no other reason.

Unless...she kows in a straight out fight, she’d have Ironwoods metal arm up to her colon in seconds. Which I wouldnt be surprised about.

Either way uh...thats it. Thats the end of the episode. 

Nice fight, at least.

See you all in Febuary!

EDIT: NOT FEBUARY, the break is a few more episodes after this

[kurapika-in-the-tardis]

the sun rises and falls. tomorrow was the family potluck for the joestars and the brandos and the um um zeppilies and the um um 

every year they went to visit the special tree. the speedwagon foundation sent what little of jonathan’s ashes they could find from the kmart parkinglot off to that cremation company to make him into a tree because they saw it on hgtv. no one had any say in it they did it without permission and blew a shit ton of money so it was like a shitty time for everybody i guess. it ended up being a scientific breakthrough as the tree bloomed in all colours of hydrangea and hybiscus and hyperflowers and grew cherries and spiders and lemons. this is a lemon do not like do not eat. 

noon came around and everybody slapped on their louis vuiton flip flops and headed out for the predestined spot underneath that oh so precious tree. what did everyone bring. joseph and caesar are there they didn’t bring anything though except their quick wits and balls haha clacker volley. not testicles. and jotaro showed up but didn’t want to be there he was chain smoking and kakyoin was eating lizards when he could find them.  mikitaka was not informed of the event but they find him there underneath the tree in a vegetative state. it is not spoken of during the entire 16 hour event. it is becoming noticeable that no one is actually bringing food or banquet supplies. koichi was left to fend for himself in italy and nobody has heard from him in years. okuyasu and josuke fucked off to the 7-11. mista is playing a gameboy color abbacchio has been in the bathroom for about 5 hours pissing everywhere from dollar store wine and from eating chapsticks and bruno is trying not to lose his cool but its really obvious hes like pissed off trish and narancia fucked off as well fugo is left in venice  anasui is behind fucking bars but jolyne is giving him the details hatefully via a walky talky that looks like its from spongebob the one with the seashell yea. foo fighters is in a pond at the moment so don’t disturb her please hermes is also there telling jolyne to stop with the walky talky shit cause they aint bring no batteries. johnny is there actually and so is gyro he say pizza pizza mozzarella like he do but there is no pizza pizza mozzarella to actually consume so everyones pissed off he never stops everybody is about to fucking go crazy on him diego is there eating the sediments from the stream so thats everyone accounted for dio is there kars is there but as a rock that diego is thinking about eating (vore) doppio is there screaming into a birds nest about how hes almost out of minutes on his flip phone and to give him a raise everybody else wandered off somewhere. so thats everyone accounted for... except!

OUUUUGH!!!! screams a piercing bog tinged voice. followed by violent slams awww shit he flipped it 1080 boys. its rohan and he has a shopping cart filled with canned goods and no can opener. he has money so so far hes the only one who brought anything. or he would have, however he is rolling this shit all over the place and its going everywhere and oh god its falling over and hes got about a third of the cans he started with and hes getting more and more pissed and oh jesus its going everywhere howtobasic please don’t tag as kin. he gets there eventually covered in canned tomatoes exploded from the force of the trolley kickflipping exploding onto his greasy hairpiece. it would have fallen off without the adhesisve he announces to everyone well we are fucking here bitch and everyone is so far removed from reality to varying degrees that he doesnt get the response he wants. 

how about this then he screams. heavens door. his muppet stand comes out with his gel pen ah shit sexy!! he writes on everyone to fucking “eat that shit.” that shit isnt specified. he made a mistake. he should have specified. screams are heard through the valley as the big carnage begins

diego eats the kars rock, the trolley moans in response. ahhhn. diego leaves. the camera zooms in on kakyoin. this is actually a creepypasta i found this vhs of this recording in my attic. so the camera zooms in on kak. hehe kock well his eyes are rolling in his fucking head and he latches onto the tree with his gecko fingers and everyone is swatting newspapers telling him to stop and that it is not to be fucked with but kakyoin doesnt care he deepthroats the branches severing several jugulars (he has more than average) and he bleeds out and he gets inflated and dies and he dies with a cherry he chewed through smashed in his hand so he poopped the cherry correction popped the cherry thats an actual typo not a joke anyway. so thats one fatality so far and one trolley moan lets keep this in short order boys

rohan behaves civilly he looks at the carnage of the exploaded kak hehe kock all over the spiders on the tree and decides he will find cleaner ones later. he likes the plastic ones you win from arcades the best 

joseph has brought out his fidget spinner at this point and sliced off the majority of his fingertips with its deathly blades some blood gets splashed onto the trolley which makes it come to life and everyone dies thats all