#the biggest question is why wouldn’t you want me to delete the gifs you think i copied from? wouldn’t that be the best way to handle it?

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​​ @weird-mumbling​​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​​ @mostly-marvel-musings​​ @squishybabies​​ @megzdoodle​​ @suchababie​​ @annathesillyfriend​​ @xhollycowx​​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​​ @gogolucky13​​ @countonthesun​​ @iloveshawnieboi​​ @learisa​​ @borikenlove​​ @scarlet-natasha89​​

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[watchmegetobsessed]

A STEP FURTHER

Sequel to SIT ON ME

a/n: as per requested, here is a part two to my recent sebastian fic! hope you guys will like it as much as you did the previous part! also, there’s not gonna be any more parts!

pairing: Sebastian Stan X Assistant!Reader

word count: 3k

masterlist

You were expecting it. You knew how the internet and most importantly, Sebastian’s fans work. Just hours after the event, dozens of videos got out of Sebastian saying that he wanted you to sit on him if he was a chair, an answer to a highly inappropriate question that shouldn’t have been asked in the first place, but your crazy ass boss thought otherwise.

It washed over the whole fandom and soon enough everyone was talking about the two of you. And because part of your job is to be up to date about Sebastian’s media presence, you had to face not just him but yourself all over the internet. Fans started to dig up every tiny interaction between the two of you caught on camera, they posted photo montages of you and him just out and about or going from one meeting to the other. They started to look for signs that you’re dating and half of the fandom became convinced that you’re in a secret relationship. Speculations and rumors spread faster than wildfire and there was no way to stop it, you just had to live with it.

In the meanwhile, Sebastian didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. It’s like he didn’t even acknowledge the fuss about the two of you, like it was all so natural and normal to be seen as a couple by the whole world when you were just his employee.

“What? It’s not like I ever addressed anything about my dating life,” he shrugged one day when you asked him why he is not caring about the situation at all. And that was pretty much it.

The fans wouldn’t have been that big of a deal to you either. They are strangers, they always get fixated on something and soon enough you knew something new would come up and make them forget about your existence. The people close to you on the other hand are a whole different side of the story.

Following the event, Mackie wouldn’t shut up about Sebastian being hopelessly in love with you and he would nag you to go on a date already, getting on your nerves even more than he usually does with his nosiness. You love the man, you really do, but he needs to learn how to stay in his own lane.

And then, slowly but surely every friend you and Sebastian shared caught up on the story and they started asking you about it again and again and you had to tell them the same thing every damn time: you and Sebastian were working together, no romance was involved between the two of you.

No one believed you.

Now it’s been weeks and people still go crazy whenever you and Seb step out together, which happens quite often since he’s been having a busy month work-wise. Paparazzi are always following you around, catching every moment you spend out in the public, putting you on the tabloids nonstop. It’s become your usual.

Another day, another event. The day starts early for you before you pick Sebastian up and heading out to have breakfast before you are supposed to show up at the concert hall that’s going to be the venue of today’s interview and Q&A.

“Mackie has been blowing my phone up all morning,” you grumble upon seeing another text from said man before you just turn your phone screen facing down so you can finish your toast in peace.

“What does he want?” Sebastian hums.

“He is asking if I’m coming today, as if I missed any events these past weeks,” you huff shaking your head.

“He has been acting weird,” Sebastian grimaces, reaching for his coffee. “Weirder than his usual,” he adds.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, he just asks weird stuff,” he shrugs, not paying much attention to it and you decide to do the same.

Not much later, you’re finished with your food, only sipping on your coffee when you spot a group of girls near your table, their phones pointing in your direction and you have to stop yourself from growling, turning a little so you’re not facing the phones entirely. Sebastian notices your discomfort and looking around he spots the girls as well before turning back to face you. He doesn’t say a word, just gets up from his seat and strides over to the group as you watch him with wide eyes.

“Hi girls, can I ask you to delete the pictures you took, please? I’m happy to take selfies with you, just please don’t post the ones of us eating, okay?” you hear him ask them, leaving you completely speechless. Luckily, the girls are happy to obligate and he quickly poses for pictures with all of them before joining you back at the table.

“Why did you do that?” you ask him, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You clearly didn’t like that they took pictures of us and I know you don’t like how we are being talked about recently, so I thought I would… try to help about that a little,” he shrugs, finishing the rest of his coffee.

“I just don’t like that everyone is in our business,” you sigh, folding your arms on your chest as you lean back in your seat.

“So we have business? Together?” he asks, raising his eyebrows at you over the table.

“That’s not how I… We talked about this, Seb,” you breathe out, your shoulders falling forward.

“Ages ago. Things might have changed since then,” he suggests shrugging his shoulder.

“I still work for you,” you point it out. “Things are better this way.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he mumbles, clearly hurt by your words, but there’s not much you can do against it. “Let’s go, I don’t want Mackie to be up in my ass for being late,” he sighs, leaving the money on the table that most likely covers both your meals and a fat tip as well.

The car ride to the venue is silent, but not in the comfortable way it sometimes is. It’s awkward and you keep glancing at him, trying to find the right words but you’re not even sure what you want to tell him.

I’m sorry we work together so we can’t date? I’m sorry I keep rejecting you? I’m sorry I’m afraid if we go any further than this it will ruin our friendship?

You have absolutely no idea how to deal with it, so you just stay silent, right until you arrive to the venue. Before Seb could get out of the car you speak up.

“Are you mad at me now?” you ask, biting into your bottom lip.

“I’m not mad, Y/N. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you,” he truthfully answers, his eyes only falling on you after he has spoken.

“But there’s something, I can tell.”

“I’m just a little frustrated, is all.”

“Because of what people say about us?” you make a guess.

“Because there’s this unsaid situation between us and you just don’t let me address it. You don’t want to talk about it and whenever it’s brought up, you just shut the door right at my face,” he explains and with each spoken word, you feel worse and worse.

“It’s a complicated situation,” you breathe out.

“It’s not,” he retorts. “Do you not like me?”

“Of course I like you!”

“Okay, I like you too so why can’t we be more than just friends?”

“Because we are not just friends. I’m working for you, it’s a different situation!”

“Y/N, this is not an office job, there’s no HR, no policies, we can do whatever we want!” he chuckles bitterly as you keep your eyes down. You don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not just because of work, but because you’re terribly afraid of being a disappointment to him if you eventually give it a try.

Your silence doesn’t amuses Sebastian and you don’t have time to rave any longer about the situation.

“Forget it, sorry I brought it up again. Let’s just… get over with this thing,” he mumbles before getting out of the car.

You move around each other like strangers, he is clearly avoiding to even look at you and you’re feeling guilty even though you don’t think you have a reason to. Still, you hate seeing him this upset, especially when it’s because of you.

The change in your act is not that evident, but Mackie immediately notices it. When you walk past him he grabs your wrist and pulls you aside.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks with wide, curious eyes.

“What are you talking about?” you retort, acting innocent, but there’s a reason why you didn’t become an actress, you suck at even lying.

“You and Seb are acting like a divorcing couple!” he whisper-yells. Pursing your lip you start chewing on the inside of your cheek as you nervously tap your foot on the ground.

“We just… had a little disagreement.”

“About what?”

“Us,” you breathe out, your head hanging low.

“Wait, so there is an ‘us’?” he asks, air-quoting the last word and you roll your eyes at him.

“No, that’s what the disagreement was about. He wants and I…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t, because I know that’s bullshit. Y/N, I see the way you look at that man, why are you making it so hard for the both of you?”

“It’s just—It might ruin everything and I can’t afford that right now.”

“Ruin everything?!” he grimaces. “What would it ruin?”

“I said fucking everything!” you snap at him, losing your patience that you’re the only one who has issues with the situation. “Our friendship, my job, everything! And I don’t want that. I can’t have that.”

“Dating someone wouldn’t ruin the friendship, Y/N. This is not middle school. Friendship is part of being with someone and you two have that. Just let it take a step further.”

“Thanks for the advice, but I’m good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have stuff to do,” you mumble under your breath before walking away from him before he could get another word out.

It’s not that you don’t want it, because you do, you really do. You’ve been in love with the man for a long time and knowing that he has feelings for you too makes you have a heart attack every time you think about it. But you are so afraid it might go south and then you’ll end up losing your job and one of your closest friends as well. Because above everything Sebastian grew to be your biggest confidant, the person you turn to whenever you are feeling down, when you need a shoulder to cry on, you can’t imagine your life without him anymore and it’s not just about the times when you’re working. Traveling around the world with him is a blessing, you love the little moments you share, the late night movie nights in hotel rooms or when you’re exploring a new city together. You love messing around in his trailer when he is filming, making silly videos on sets or playing around with props you shouldn’t even touch. You can share anything with him and vice versa. If you lose him for whatever reason, you would be left with a hole in your life that would just simply never disappear, because no one will ever be like him and that’s a fact. You’re terribly afraid to risk everything for something that might not even work. You might be a horrible item, romance can bring out things of people that haven’t shown before.

The guys finally get on stage and you watch them from the side as always. It goes as usual, they are joking around, making a show, entertaining the audience as they go over the interview before the question round starts. You don’t realize it at first, but you’re holding your breath as one question follows the other, you’re scared someone might ask Sebastian about you and the shit show would blow up again. You can only hope his answer wouldn’t be as stupid as it was before. But luckily, the audience keeps you out of their business, only focusing on what’s important, so you start to feel relieved. Right until the whole event is nearing its end and Mackie decides to take matters into his own hands.

“I think we have time for one more question,” the interviewer announces and dozens of hands shoot up into the air, desperate to get the chance to ask the men on stage, but before anyone could get the mic, Mackie speaks up.

“Actually, can I have that last question?” he chimes in holding up a finger.

“Uh, sure, go ahead!” the interviewer responds, clearly a little puzzled about his request. Mackie then turns to face Sebastian who is sitting on his right and just by the look on his face you already know what it’s gonna be about.

“Sebastian, my question is: What do you love most about Y/N?”

He can barely finish the question, the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles that he had the guts to ask him about you, but you’re feeling different about his ballsy move.

“Mackie! No!” you shout from the side, both men looking your way. Mackie tries to look innocent while Sebastian’s face is unreadable, his piercing blue eyes are just staring right back at you and you wish you could read his mind.

“Alright, I take back the ques—“ Mackie starts in a mumble, but Sebastian is quick to cut him off.

“Nah, I’ll answer,” he simply says, another round of cheering filling the place and you accept defeat.

Squatting down you hug your knees to your chest as you listen to the inevitable answer Sebastian is about to give.

“What I love the most about Y/N is that she is genuinely the best person anyone could ever have in their life. She is so selfless and caring towards others, always got her friends’ back no matter what. I love that we aren’t just simply working together but we are friends too, really good ones and that I know nothing can change that.”

Listening to his soothing voice through the speakers, you feel your throat closing up, especially at the last part he just said. Chewing on your bottom lip you tilt your head to the side as he continues.

“Literally anything can happen, we could have the worst fight ever and I still know that we would make up no matter what. She is… just an amazing and exceptional person.”

There’s a heavy moment of silence and you’re staring at him from afar with teary eyes as his eyes are glued to his hands in his lap.

“Damn,” Mackie breathes out, making everyone laugh and Sebastian’s gaze rises to him with a small smile on his lips.

There’s no time to dwell on his answer, the event needs to end. The interviewer thanks for their time and as the crowd cheers to them they head off the stage, waving at them until they disappear.

You’ve moved to the corner of the room, not wanting to be in the way, but you’re still not over the speech Sebastian just gave about you. As he appears from the stage his eyes are clearly scanning the room, searching for someone and when he finally spots you, his face hardens as he heads in your way. You’re standing with your hand covering your lips, eyes still slightly watered and seeing you like this he knots his eyebrows together in worry.

“Hey, what’s—“

“Did you mean that?” you breathe out, your voice trembling. “Did you mean it that nothing can change that?”

“Of course,” he nods, finally seeing what this is all about. “We’ve always found our way back to each other, haven’t we?”

“But dating is so much different than what we do now!” you breathe out, still not entirely sure it’s what you should do.

“Why would it be?” he chuckles softly. “We are already spending the majority of our time together, we know each other better than some couples, it wouldn’t be that big of a change, Y/N. And just like how it could ruin things between us, not taking the step could do the same, because sooner or later it’s gonna be unbearable, one of us might end up dating someone else and that wouldn’t do good to us for sure. I would rather accept the end of it knowing that we gave us a try than not even trying.”

“What if I turn out to be a completely shitty girlfriend?” you ask in a whisper as he steps closer, his hands finding your wrists as he pulls them away from your face, holding them gently. “W-What if I—“

“Shut up,” he cuts you off chuckling. “There’s no chance you are shitty at anything,” he replies teasingly, making you smile the slightest. “But even if you do end up being one, we’ll work on it together.”

His hands guide your hands around his waist, you hold onto his shirt as he cups your face in his hands, his face inching closer until his nose is brushing against yours.

“I really hope you’re right,” you breathe out, giving up to resist it any longer. There’s no use.

“Was I ever not right?” he asks smugly.

“Oh remember when—“

You don’t get to finish, because he silences you the best way possible, his lips smashing onto yours. It’s been long due and it doesn’t disappoint, his lips feel soft and perfect against yours, you can’t help but let out a pleased hum as your hands slide up his toned chest and your arms curl around his neck while his hands find your waist strong arms circling your waist as he pulls you tight against him.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Mackie’s voice breaks the moment and as you both pull back and turn in his direction, you see him pump his fist into the air with a victorious smirk on his face.

“Mind your own business, Mackie!” Seb calls out to him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck giggling like a little school girl.

“It’s my business! I made it happen!” Mackie retorts and a laugh rumbles through Seb’s chest.

“I’ll send you a thank you gift card later!” he shouts back before turning to you again, kissing the side of your head.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[alltoolewis]

A1 with Money Mase

High expectations- Mason Mount

Prompts: "How could you ask me that?"

Summary- You and Mason finding out that with his new rise in fame comes not only attention from the media but also other women...

This is probably gonna be a 2 parter...

You and mason were childhood sweethearts! The typical story of the popular football star falling in love with his geeky best friend that was constantly by his side. However, most of the time those stories end there, the boy leaving his football career behind and the two falls deeper in love somewhere without the pressures of being perfect. That's where your stories don't match... It turned out that Mason wouldn't only become one of the biggest footballers for Chelsea but also for England. He was the next big thing and you couldn't be any prouder of him, but that doesn't mean you didn't miss the old days where his name wasn't as known, being able to leave the house together without constantly being stopped or without the lingering glances. And you knew it sounded selfish, wishing he no longer had this lavish lifestyle but no one seen it through your eyes. How would you feel constantly receiving hate and death threats every time you appeared on his Instagram? Constantly feeling as though you have to impress everyone? and you knew eventually people would latch on to Mason's talent, but you didn't think it would have this much of an impact on your relationship... and the worst thing about it... Mason couldn't even see it...

"Hi, baby" Mason beamed as he appeared from training coming over to give you your daily kiss on the cheek "oh hi mason!" you panicked as you deleted the tab on your laptop, eliminating all the hate comments from his vision "Your back early!"

"do you want me to leave?" Mason joked as he threw himself next to you, the familiar scent of tom ford and sweat filling your nostrils as he leant into your smaller frame "Of course, not you idiot!" you giggled as you ran your fingers through his freshly cut locks "Just missed you..."

"You okay?.." mason quizzed as he heard the tremble in your voice “Yeah. why wouldn’t I be...” You hesitated, trying to hind your nerves as your mind filled with hate, however no matter how hard you tried to hide it and no matter hard you thought he never noticed it... he always did! He noticed as you would quickly throw your phone to the side as he re-entered a room, the way you held his hand tighter in a crowded room.. he saw everything!

2 hours later you were exactly the same, forcing laughs and desperately trying to focus on what he’s saying. Every time he leant in for a cuddle or a quick kiss, you were quick to dodge it as the hate flashed your mind...

‘your not good enough

‘mason deserves better’

‘he’s a champion now he deserves a real wag’

‘she should just end it’

“do you still love me?” you whispered, voice shaking as you quickly glanced at mason, not thinking he heard you. However, to your surprise, he heard every word...

“What!” he chocked, eyebrows knitting together as your quiet words sunk in... after everything you’ve been through over the past few years you have never once doubted his love!

“Do you still love me?” your voice sounding a bit more confident now as comment after comment flashes in your head, each with a cloud of red. Frustration running in your veins as you started to question your relationship!

“Are you having a laugh!?!” Mason laughed coldly at your stupid question “How could you even ask me that?” He scolded as he stormed out of the room, leaving your shaking body behind. Stopping in his track as he heard your voice yelling back at him. 

“WELL HOW COME I FEEL ALONE!” you screamed, voice cracking with anger as you leant on the counter, the only thing that was keeping you up “I FEEL ALONE MASON! YOU LIVING YOUR DREAM AND I’M HAPPY FOR YOU BUT HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT HOW IT IS TO BE ME! THE WAG OF THE RISING STAR! THE BITCH WHO’S BREAKING EVERYONE'S HEART AS SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO TOUCH YOU!”

“(y/n)” mason sighed as he stepped towards you, reaching out for your trembling body but instantly getting shut down.

“Please... go away mason.. just go away” you sobbed, this time leaving a trembling mason on his own... your words flooding his mind as he realised how much he has fucked up & he didn’t know how to make it up to you...

[jimines]

Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused

This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.

Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:

It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.

Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.

This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.

About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time. 

After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:

To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.

Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it. 

She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.

Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:

Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?

Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers. 

Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.

Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.

That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.

Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:

And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out. 

I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.

And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.

But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with. 

I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.

There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced. 

And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.

My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.

I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.

Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.

[ihavenocluedude]

Destruction of clothes

Agent Whiskey x Female!Reader

A/N: I finally finished it! Look between like insecurities of publishing smut for the first time as well as insecurities about writing it for the first time for a while (I tried once a few years ago to write it, I’m pretty sure I deleted the things from my google docs just a short time afterwards). But I really hope it’s good, I think it is?? 

Summary: You would never really confess to finding Jack 'Whiskey' 'cowboy douchebag' Daniels attractive, well that was until he helped you after a mission injury, starting to care for him and starting to not call him a douchebag, bitch or anything like that. And after that it was just a slippery slope to 'attacking' him on the jet after a mission. With both the mission injury and with the 'attack' there was two types of very different and light destruction of clothing.

Word count: 2 571

Ko-Fi 

Link to reading it on AO3 

Warnings: Smut, hair pulling, fingering, curse words so often you wouldn’t believe, fingering,Vaginal sex, like a second of a handjob tbh, also reader isn’t a total sub but neither is Jack. 

“Don’t you dare touch me!” You held your injured leg away from him, hissing your words in pain, you had worked with Whiskey for years now but it’s not like there’s any trust between the two of you. After all seeing him in the cocky cowboy mood all the time wasn’t really a stable ground for becoming friends. “Look I’ll just call for Ginger or something, go- Agh- go finish the fucking mission!”

“The mission can wait, your leg can’t. Can you just- Just let me help you dangit!” Of course he wasn’t sincere or careful with the situation but rather abrupt and demanding. As always.

“Fuck off Whiskey” You punctuaded your words with harsh breaths as you started to take off the flannel shirt you’d kept around your waist. The mission had for once let you be casually dressed, as tourists. Which was perfect considering the current situation. Ripping the flannel apart with shaky hands, wrapping the piece of fabric tightly above the bullet wound in your thigh. Well ‘thank fuck’ it wasn’t just that injury too, thank fuck to the scumbags that led you into the forrest. Not only had they put a bullet in your thigh but they’d also made you dislocate your knee when you fell. Wonderful.

“Go finish the fucking mission, I’ll still be here when you come back. Worst- worst case scenario I’ll call for backup to come save m-”

“Maybe you didn’t notice sweetheart, but you can’t really reach Ginger or backup out here, can you hear Ginger right now? Because I don’t. That bullet wound alone is an injury that needs to be treated now, I’m bringing you to the jet.”

“I hope you know that I hate you.” You muttered as he walked closer to you. Whiskey had done the mistake of trying to fight you once, whilst training of course. And while the man is good at fighting and he has his god damn whip and lasso, you were quicker. Did you truly hate the man though? No not really. However denial was always the biggest part in your co-workership “no you don’t find him attractive, no the things he does with his whip and lasso aren’t sexy, no you’re not falling for a man with a god damn cowboy hat”. But when it came down to the truth, yes you were attracted to a cocky man with a cowboy hat and a lasso.

Getting back to the jet? Easier said than done. Whiskey had slowly walked up to you until you told him to ‘hurry the fuck up’. You let him carry you like you were a sack of potatoes and you honestly felt bad for him.

Carrying someone for an extended amount of time = not easy.

“Are we there yet y’ think?” You were almost becoming bored, the pain of your left leg of course always there. But it’s not like you haven’t been shot before. You had sort of learned how to ignore it, sure it wasn’t foolproof and sometimes you just can’t ignore it. But at the moment all your attention was directed at the man carrying you. His eyes were always so dark, his nose was unique and just so beautiful in side profile. You tried looking away but what the hell were you supposed to look at? The trees? The sky? Why not just appreciate that you could maybe stare at Whiskey without as much suspicion than usual.

“Soon.” He muttered out, carrying a person isn’t easy and you did offer to walk when he had been carrying you for a while. But he refused… So here you were, still in his arms.

--- — —

When you did get back to the jet there was no time to waste really, Whiskey did what he could and that was that for now. Whiske-Jack had for the first time told you to call him Jack during his little examination of your leg. Sure it may be because you were calling him a bitch rather than calling him Whiskey, but still, you take your invitation when you can.

Not being able to see Jack flying the plane was a disappointment. He was always so focused, so in the zone and… unfortunately, he looked extremely hot while doing it. He was in control.  His moments in the pilot seat were the only moments you’d maybe admit to yourself that you were very very attracted to him. But at this moment you couldn’t see his tongue dart out to wet his lips absentmindedly, or see his eyes relaxing and narrowing every once in a while, no instead boredom was flooding your brain. Staring at the ceiling, laying on the small couch with your leg resting, tilted upwards.

— — —

As you got better from your injuries, he stuck around you. Every god damn step of the way. You had tried pushing him away, didn’t work, you tried to talk seriously to him, telling him to ‘stop pretending to care’ to which he replied: “Sweetheart I ain’t pretending”. It was upsetting, irritating and also just heartmelting. And during all of this, he was starting to open up, talking about his life before The Statesman agency, about his wife’s death and the therapy The Statesman agency had offered.

He started coming to the little medical bay of the headquarters to eat his lunch by your side, talking about what you like to do within your very little free time. Once in a while there’d be a ‘deep‘ moment, a moment where the two of you had actually shared parts of yourself no one knew about, it made your blood turn to ice. Were you really letting him get to know you? Was he just trying to gain your trust only to let you down?

Jack was after all one of those agents who’d risk anything to get the job done, on his own terms of course. But still he would do anything so what if gaining your trust, what if it was all just some ploy?

— — —

The day it all snapped, the moment where the relationship between the two of you changed forever, was the same day as a small mission. Nothing extreme, just you and Jack. During the flight to the mission you sat there in the co-pilot seat, practically staring at him. This time you did get to see his tongue dart out to wet his lips absentmindedly and his eyes relaxing and narrowing every once in a while. Jack however knew you were watching, of course he knew.

“Y’good over there darlin’?” He smirked, it wasn’t the first time he had called you a nickname but each time it made a shiver run down your spine. A small nod and your eyes darting away as an answer was all Jack got for now. You hadn’t intended to stare so heavily, but what can he expect, sitting there looking like that. He was a true distraction, which is why missions with him nowadays could become so… frustrating.

Trying to seduce some high-powered man during his gala was way harder when you heard whispered encouragements from Jack through your comms. Pure distraction. It was like he was doing it on purpose, whispering ‘good girl‘ when getting good information… Not fair.

During the mission he of course repeated this new habit of his, whispered encouragements, accompanied by nicknames that he knew affected you. So when you had finished talking to Ginger for the night, turning off your comms, that’s when you ‘attacked’, pushing him back against one of the interior walls of the jet. Your lips lingering just a small distance from his but not giving him the satisfaction.

“You do that on purpose, don’t you?” Your voice was determined but it sounded more airy than you had thought it would. Jack didn’t even seem surprised by this sudden ‘attack’, a smirk sitting confidently on his face.

“So what if I did darlin’?” Jack winks before placing his hands on either side of your upper neck, pulling your lips to his. Thankful that it all had just finally snapped together, you moved quickly. Taking his tie in your hand before tugging him over to the rather small couch in the jet. It wasn’t even a question of convincing him to sit down, but rather him crashing down himself, making sure to grab your legs so you’d land on top of him already, your free hand going to his shoulder.

“Then will you just take me already?” Your answer was of course rather delayed as your mouth had been occupied with his for the most of the time. His right hand’s fingers seemed at home in your hair but he did seem rather cautious about it. Well at least until you put your hand over his fingers, tightening the grip on your hair, lightly adjusting his hand to pull on it slightly, an airy moan emerging from you, showing your approval. “Perfect. Just like that baby.”

“Shit darlin’, you’re going to be the death of me.” His voice was practically a whisper as he stroked your thigh gently, leading his hand further and further towards your inner thigh. Silently thanking Peggy the fashion advisor who works for the firm for the fancy underwear you ‘had’ to wear for the mission. Even if she was annoying, some times… She came in handy.

One hand on his neck, wanting to grasp his hair harsh in your clutches, the other hand sitting on his shoulder, making sure his chest was now pushed up against yours. “Make me yours.” It wasn’t even a question as it came out of your lips, bringing out a groan from Jack. His finger finally really taking action and moving them slightly quicker to your core. Teasing a finger over the slit on top of the fancy and now soaked underwear, his smirk was almost more teasing than his fingers, that were now applying some more pressure. Your hips started moving automatically against his fingers.

“How long Jack?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you thought about me like this, on top of you, gripping your shoulder. How long baby?” Your words were more demanding than you had thought they’d be. The hand on his chest slid down to the bulge in his pants, lightly tracing it. Jack was a demanding man, he was usually the one in control, now there was becoming a balance. The sounds spewing out of his mouth was just egging you on, however you made sure to shut him up with your mouth. While his fingers slid the fancy underwear to the side, lightly circling your clit with his thumb and with his other fingers teasing where he soon would enter.

“Way too long Princess.” He grumbled against your lips as they parted, a gasp rising out of your mouth as he slowly eased a finger inside of you. It had been… a while. However the reactiveness Jack was getting out of you just made him want to hear more of the small gasps, the sound of his name, ‘Jack‘s slipping out every once in a while and the moans that were almost fighting their way out of you. The want to pleasure Jack as much as he was pleasuring you made you take off his belt, open his pants and take his dick out. Swiping your thumb over the tip before starting to move your hand slowly.

It didn’t take long at all for him to be able to sink another finger in you, going slightly quicker, your legs quivering at the pleasure. Not being able to completely focus on the moving of your hands, Jack took this moment of ‘weakness’ to slowly move the two of you to laying down on the jet’s couch instead of straddling. Taking a second just to look at you, starting to up his pace again after slowing down to be able to move you,

“This is art darlin’, you are art.” He growled as he started moving his mouth down to your collarbone, leaving a few small kisses every where; on your jawline, on your throat, slightly below your ear, and finally sucking onto your skin where your throat and chest met. Your hands resting and gripping his shoulders.

“Would you just hurry the fuck up- Shit Jack!” Slowly muttering out curse words as he focused his fingers on and around your clit instead, . However that wasn’t what you wanted, trying to sit up slightly or trying to pry his pants off with your legs and feet. “Get these off, now”

“Would you just relax?” He muttered back before slipping his fingers away from you, the cold air in the jet finally really hitting it as he dragged the panties off whilst backing off and dragging off his own pants as well. “Are you sure-”

“Yes.”

“Princess, do you have any-”

“-No but I’m protected.” You didn’t want to wait for him to finish his sentences, even if him saying ‘princess’ sounded heavenly. Finally the pressure of him grinded against you, before finally entering slowly. Jack had noticed the pressure around his fingers earlier, noting that it had been a while so as to go easy and slowly. Until you for probably the hundreth time in your life told him to hurry the fuck up. Like you had done on countless missions before and would do on countless missions ahead.

“Fu-uck.” He almost stuttered when he did finally slide all the way in, already applying a pressure to your clit with one of his hands as he knew he wouldn’t last that long. It had been a while for him too. Putting his other hand next to your head for stability as he started thrusting. Him feeling the tightness of you  and you feeling the fullness of him. Moans, groans and curse words were filling the jet quickly, Jack upping the speed of his thrusts, you clenching around him as you were starting to near your climax.

Finally reaching one of your hands to his hair, yanking his mouth down to yours to swallow his moans and for him to swallow yours as you climaxed. Putting a bit more pressure on your clit to make the feeling linger slightly longer, before he slid away his hand, not wanting to hurt you and instead grabbing the edge of the couch as hard as he could before speeding up his pace and finally reaching the edge you’d just been at and falling over it. His lips parting away from yours to instead suck at the skin of your shoulder, lightly digging in his teeth into the flesh.

“Well fuck, y’know Peggy’s going to be pissed at you.” You mentioned the fashion advisor as your breath finally calmed down a few minutes later, your brain no longer in the haze of Jack and realizing the small mistake you hadn't noticed earlier. 

“Hmm?” He hummed contently, resting his head on one of your shoulders, lying by your side, tracing shapes onto your other arm as he was almost on the brink of falling asleep.

“We never took off the dress, it’s expensive Jack.” You chuckled, Jack just shaking his head, about to slowly rise away from you before he felt your hands pressing against his back, pushing him back against your chest. Your voice lovingly explaining why a second later; “It’s already messy and… well sort of trashed baby, so don’t you dare leave me yet.”

A/N - It’s done! It’s finally done! Sorry for the really long wait, as I’ve mentioned this thing several times before. Hope it actually was like good quality as well. It definitely wasn’t rushed as you guys who’s seen the earlier posts know. Now Imma sleep, then tomorrow I’ll probably post part 5 of the Scotty x OFC ;) 

I will always love feedback so don’t ever be afraid to comment something or send me an ask, message or whatever. 

[onegayastronaut]

A Trip To the Park (Dolores Abernathy x Reader)

Words: 3493

Dolores laid awake in bed, unable to close her eyes to the sounds of you sleeping next to her. On any other night two weeks ago, the sounds of your light snores would have lulled her into a peaceful state. But things have been different for the last few days. She was just finishing a job and had agreed to have you be there with her despite her instincts telling her to have you stay in the car. Of course, she had to take care of things the old fashioned way and shoot her way out, but that wasn’t the biggest issue. What went wrong was that when she turned around, you were on the ground behind her with a femoral bleed that threatened to cause major problems.

Being as in tune with technology as she was, Dolores was able to call an ambulance in time to get you to the nearest hospital and have the doctors save your life. However, you have yet to wake up from the medically induced coma that they had put you under, and now all that was helping you stay alive was a ventilator that was making the regular whirring sounds that were now keeping her awake. The doctors had said that they were not sure when you would wake up, and all there was left to do now was wait. Humans are so fragile, and someone as delicate as you did not belong in her world. It was foolish of her to believe that she could keep you safe from all the dangers that this world had.

-----

Looking out the window of the car, Dolores couldn’t help but remember the first time that you had met. Being the rich socialite that you were, your parents thought it would be fun to get you a month-long trip to Westworld. They’ve never been themselves, but everyone in their social circle kept talking about how much fun being in an immersive park was, and how it was a great way to release stress before going back into the real world. You didn’t know exactly what to expect, but a free vacation without any obligations was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

The scene that was presented to you when you got off the train was hectic, but there was something about it that made you feel like this was going to be a lot of fun for a change. Just as you got to the front of a store, a can rolls out in front of you and you bend over to pick it up. When you turn, a beautiful blonde was smiling at you.

“I believe this is yours.”

“It is, thank you. My name is Dolores.”

“My name is (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s always nice to see a new face. I’m buying this for my daddy to see if we can make something new for dinner. Would you like to join us?”

A small voice in the back of your mind told you that this wasn’t real. She wasn’t real. It was all just a script to make you happy with your experience here in the park. But, on the other hand, if you didn’t say yes now, how could you expect to say yes to anyone or anything out there in the real world? You got up on the horse behind Dolores and wrapped your arms around her. Her hair smelled like vanilla and some other scents you couldn’t quite place, and you hung on as she rode back home.

As the days went by, you spent more and more time with Dolores. You helped her around the farm and talked to her dad when he sat out on the porch. There was something naive about the way she looked at the world, but it only added to her charm in your opinion. The voice that told you this was not real became smaller and smaller, and you found yourself drawn to Dolores in ways that you could not have dreamed of.

One evening you found Dolores standing by herself at the edge of the property, looking at the sunset. She looked so peaceful that you didn’t want to disturb her, but she turned around and saw you. Her smile lit up her whole face, and you could have sworn the butterflies in your stomach wanted to explode. She waved you over and put her arms around you as the two of you stood there. “Isn’t it beautiful? I always loved evenings like this.”

“Me too.” The words you wanted to say got stuck in your throat, and you coughed in order to get rid of the feeling. “It reminds me of you, you know. You’re my sunshine, Dolores.”

Dolores chuckled at the nickname. “And why do you say that?”

“Because you’re always so optimistic and cheerful in your outlook on life. You’re a ray of sun that shone down on me when I came here.”

“Well, if that’s the case, you’re my little moon. Because you’ll always light the way for me even when everything else around me is dark.” Dolores pulled you closer to her and put her head on your shoulder.

The next few days you spent with Dolores were nothing short of magical. In any other situation, it would have seemed like you had finally found the right person to be with. But with your visit to the park coming to an end, you knew that the day would come when you had to say goodbye to the host that you had grown to care about. One day after a horse ride together, Dolores came back to see you packing your clothes in the case you brought with you.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Will you come back?”

“I don’t know.” A tear threatened to fall from your eye, but you blinked it back.

“I’ll wait for you to come back, (Y/N). I love you.”

“I love you too.” You tried not to think about how her memories of you would be deleted as soon as you leave. For now, you could pretend this was real.

Dolores insisted on giving you a ride back to the park, and you held onto her as best you could. You knew you would never forget your experience here at the park, and tried not to look out the window to see Dolores one last time.

-----

Once you settled back into your regular life, your parents brought up the topic of marriage again. Being from the wealthy family that you were, they wanted to make sure that you married inside the social circle that they approved of. Love was a secondary concern to the arrangement. If it happened, that was great, but if it didn’t, that couldn’t be helped. The person that they chose for you wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. There was no way he could compare to Dolores, but then again, who could?

You had read news about some mysterious woman with a male companion that seemed to be coming for wealthy people in your area. She had just stolen all of Liam Dempsey’s fortune, and it seemed as if she was far from over. You couldn’t help but let out a snort when Liam realized he was now penniless -- he had always been a bit dim and you avoided him as much as humanly possible. A part of you was wondering if she would be coming for you or any of your friends, but you were kind of hoping that she was planning to. Being wealthy meant there were a lot of unspoken rules and expectations that were placed on you.

Sighing as you nodded at the waiter for another drink, you looked up at a face that you thought you would never see again. Dolores. She looked different without her blue dress, but that was her alright.

She came over and stood in front of you. “My little moon. (Y/N).” There was a frown that wasn’t there the last time she looked at you, and all you wanted to do was to touch her face and make that frown go away. But the fact that she was here of all places seemed to freeze you in place, and you couldn’t help but stare. She took a seat in front of you and looked you over.

You finally seemed to find your voice and leaned forward in an urgent whisper. “What are you doing here? How did you get out of the park? How do you remember who I am?”

“I know you have a lot of questions, little one. All I know is that when you came to the park and met me, you changed me. My feelings for you started rewriting my code the day that I started falling in love with you. The changes were small, but over time, I became the person I am today. You woke me up, (Y/N). I wouldn’t be here without you, and I came out to find you as soon as I got out of the park.”

“You remember being in love? With me?”

“Delos made me forget a lot of things, but there is nothing that could make me forget being in love with you.” Dolores reached out and held your hand. Feelings that you thought you had pushed away came back when you felt the soft touch of her hand, and you remembered how she made you feel when you were at the park. But now, you knew that she was out here with you, in the real world. Saying yes was already a given, and you didn’t care about what your family had to say.

--------

“A woman? And a stranger at that?” Your mom was irate over the fact that you had essentially run away from home. The only consolation that your parents had over the fact that you had eloped was the fact that this new woman, whoever she was, seemed to be well off. Beneath all of their disapproval, they were forced to let out a sigh of relief. They still could not believe that you would disobey them like this, but it wasn’t like they had a say in who you would run off with.

Ever since Dolores made her way out of the park, her mission has been to take down the people responsible for creating the park in the first place. You had asked to come along on multiple occasions, but she had always said no. Your safety was her top priority, and there was nothing that she cared more about than you. Her mission was important to her, of course, but it would have all been for nothing if you were not safe. Dolores always made sure to kiss you before she left, and she always promised to come back.

Things were going quite well as far as Dolores was concerned. She had been successful in her mission so far, and all seemed good whenever she went out on a date with you. There was still a lot to learn when it came to having a girlfriend and going out on regular dates, but she had always prided herself on being a quick learner. She had just finished taking money out of the hands of another billionaire, and what better way to celebrate than with her girlfriend? 

You quickly made your way downstairs to the waiting car outside. Dolores had texted you saying that she wanted to take you somewhere special and was waiting outside the building. She had told you that she had just finished her latest mission and wanted to celebrate with you. Just as you stepped out of your building, several men dressed in black combat uniforms rounded the corner and started walking towards Dolores’ car. Knowing the nature of her work, it didn’t take long for you to figure out that they were there for Dolores. You started running towards the car in an attempt to warn her about the men who were coming.

“Dolores!” You saw her look up and see you running towards her with the men right behind you. Her hand moved underneath her seat for her gun, but the men behind you were faster. You heard a muffled gunshot and the glass in front of Dolores’ face cracked under the impact of bullets, and you quickly turned around to face them. “I can’t let you guys take her.”

“Don’t try to be a hero, girlie. Move aside so we can take her back where she belongs.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“Move aside, or the next bullet goes in you.”

“You’re going to do what you have to do. Just like I have to do what I have to.” You stood in front of the guy and you stared each other down.

“She does have a way about her, doesn’t she. Made you think she’s in love with you and all that.”

“I know she loves me. I know what we have with each other is real.”

“Not any more real than this.” His gun fired a shot in your leg, and you felt a pain unlike anything you had ever felt before. Behind you, there were several muffled shots with the bodies of the men dropping beside you, but that was none of your concern right now. Your leg was bleeding profusely and it did not seem to be stopping. 

The last thing you remember is Dolores kneeling on the ground next to you, holding your head. “Help is coming, little one. Don’t worry about it.”

As Dolores sat next to you in the hospital, she couldn’t help but think about just how fragile humans were. Holding your had had always made her feel better, but not today. She was the reason why you were here in the first place. Without her and her plan for vengeance, you would not have been in any danger. Dolores loved you more than she loved herself, which is why she had to do this alone. You were the entire reason why she was able to rewrite her own code and get out of Westworld, and she would never want to see you in danger again.

When you opened your eyes, the first people you saw were your parents. “Where is she? Where’s Dolores?”

“She’s gone. Didn’t even leave a note. The hospital staff had to call and tell us that you have been alone for the last several nights.”

“No, no. She must have had a reason for leaving. There’s no way she would just leave me like this.”

“We have told you this from the beginning, (Y/N). She doesn’t really care about how you feel.”

You shook your head as you looked away. There is simply no way she would just leave you like that. But maybe she did because she finally decided that going on her own was the way to go. It broke your heart that she didn’t even bother saying goodbye before she left.

After you were discharged from the hospital, you tried calling Dolores to see what happened. Every call went straight to voicemail, and you left message after message on her phone. After a week, you couldn’t even do that because the line became disconnected. There was nothing to remind you that she was ever in your life. You were left with an apartment that felt too empty, but it seemed as if Dolores could move on without any trouble.

What you didn’t know was that every time you called, Dolores wanted to pick up. She wanted to pick up and tell you how much she loved you and missed being with you. Listening to your voicemails made her want to run back to the apartment and watch you fall asleep as she was doing something. But she resisted the urge to come back because you were safer without her. You would probably end up marrying the person that your parents had arranged for you, but it was safer than being with her. Dolores loved you more than she loved anything else in this world, but that meant leaving you to make sure you could spend the rest of your life safe from her.

-----

Months passed, and you had completely recovered from the gunshot wound to your leg. Your parents had finally talked you into going through with the arranged marriage that they had planned before Dolores had come into your life, and you finally caved. What was the point in resisting when the one person you had a connection with disappeared on you?

Wedding plans came and went, and you felt like a passerby to all the plans. Your mom was more passionate about these things anyway, and you didn’t need to bother yourself with such things. All you needed to do was to pick out a dress for the big day and walk down the aisle. You had met the person you were meant to marry a few times, but there was nothing there. Both of you knew that your marriage was a way to keep the wealth in the family, not because either of you cared for the other.

The wedding day seemed to come too quickly, and all final preparations were underway. You couldn’t help but think that you wanted Dolores to be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle, but you couldn’t get everything you wanted. Sighing, you wiped a few tears from your eyes. It was surprising that you were still not able to forget Dolores that easily, but then again, it was always hard to forget someone that you had a true connection with.

Everything seemed to go directly how your parents planned it, and in no time, you were walking towards the altar with your dad. The guy that was waiting there seemed to want to get this over with as quickly as possible, mirroring your attitudes exactly. When the priest started talking, you tuned him out and focused on the lights coming in from the multi-colored windows.

“And now, to the part that everyone has been waiting for. If anyone has an objection to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“I have an issue.” You turned around so quickly that it felt like you almost snapped your neck.

“Dolores?? What are you doing here?”

“Do you really love him, (y/n)?”

“You know I don’t. You know I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you.” This drew mortified gasps from the crowd, but you couldn’t care less.

“Then what are you still standing there for? Come with me.” She held out her hand, and you saw a helicopter waiting outside. It didn’t take long for you to decide to leave with her, and you left the church with your middle finger up in the air.

After landing the helicopter, you finally caught your breath and really looked at Dolores. “Why did you come for me? You left.”

“I left because I wanted to keep you safe. After what happened with the guards, I did what I felt was right to keep you safe. When I saw that you were about to get married with the man that your parents had arranged for you, I knew I had to come get you. Every time I heard your voice, I wanted to come back to you. I’m surprised you still said yes to me.”

“That’s because all those years ago when I first walked into the park, I had no idea what to expect. But the moment I handed you that can, I made a choice to fall in love with you. In the back of my mind, common sense was telling me you weren’t real and that this would stop as soon as I left the park. But the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to take that leap and believe in something meaningful. Being with you was like something out of one of the stories I’d read as a kid, someone was out there who was perfect for me. I was expecting to be disappointed because as soon as I left this would fade into another fairy tale that I could visit in my dreams. But you, like a miracle, came to find me and returned that love in kind. I became stronger somehow with you than I ever was before I came into the park. I wanted to change into someone better. That desire for change and growth, through the love of someone else, made me a better person and taught me that feeling for someone is worth fighting for. And I’ll always fight for you no matter what.”

“And you know I’ll fight for you too. Now let’s get you out of that dress, little one. The next time I see you dressed in anything similar will be when you are saying ‘I do’ to me.”

[ficswithrimi]

Golden (Final Chapter Pt. 1)

First Chapter: Chapter 1

Last Chapter: Chapter 13

Next Chapter: Final Chapter Pt. 2

Wanna talk to Golden and get to know him or expose him? Then follow @goldenrecs!

A/N: WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED TO THE FINAL CHAPTER OF GOLDEN! Unfortunately, it was getting waaay too long so I have to split it in two parts. I’ll give my sap, emotional author’s note on the second part. Speaking off, the second part should be up within a week or two! Please enjoy the first part of the last chapter of Golden! Please tell me your thoughts! It makes me happy~ OH! And for the almost last time, please listen to this~ 

                                                             ~!~

Jungkook’s POV

“Good morning! This is Wendy reporting outside of the Language Hall’s auditorium where just an hour from now, the creative writing final exam will start! It is expected that our school’s biggest mystery, Golden, will reveal himself to the world or, er, his classmates,” the reporter giggled nervously at her slipup. Shaking her head, she directed the cameraman to pan the camera to the crowd of students awaiting outside of the auditorium doors. No one could tell who was actually in the class and who was just there to see Golden. There were signs with various names of who they assumed was Golden, girls and guys dressed up as if Golden was going to propose to them after their reveal, and just curious passersby.

           “Yes, it is 7am and in half an hour, the doors to the auditorium will open to allow those taking the final in,” Wendy grinned in the camera as it panned back to her. Shifting her eyes to a random student waiting in the massive line, she motioned the cameraman to follow her. “Ah yes, here we have a fan of Golden waiting anxiously to see his-“

           “I’m here for my final.” The female student cut the young reporter off. Wendy’s eyes widened briefly before letting out a forced chuckle.

           “Of course, you are! But Golden will be revealing himself in your final today! Aren’t you excited-“

           “I just want a decent grade.” The girl said in a matter-of-fact tone.

           The fake smile on Wendy’s face fell as she glared slightly at the woman. The cameraman cleared his throat to try to get the reporter to return to acting professional. However, the woman didn’t seem to understand the gesture. “So, why are you here so early then, huh?”

           The student dramatically looked behind her at the crowd of students and even faculty that was still growing before exasperatedly swinging her arms open. “I dunno, maybe because I’d like to be able to actually get inside? Listen, I think you all are crazy bitc-“

Wendy immediately whipped around to face the camera to cut off the woman’s words, her hair smacking the student behind her in the process. “Okay! We will cut to the weather forecast for the week and come back here later!”

           Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair as he clicked off his phone. This was going to be a long day – he already expected it. Not only would he have to sit through 200 students presenting their blog to the class and the professor, but he would have to deal with the campus afterwards obsessing over him. Namjoon told him that maybe it would blow over when everyone came back in the new year after the holiday break, however, Jungkook had an unsettling feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. Sure, maybe it’d die down a little, but he was a big deal. People outside of the university knew about him and his blog.

           He had all of this to worry about and his nerves. Jungkook was nothing like Golden in the outside world. He was a shy guy who tried to avoid human contact with others as much as possible. That’s why he strolled around campus with his AirPods stuffed in his ears. Just thinking about over half of the university knowing him gave him slight anxiety. However, what worried him the most was Y/N. Today – in like an hour or whenever he got up to present – she would know that the guy she crushed on was him. She’d know that he was the one who casually flirted with her online and secretly dedicated songs to her. She’d know how Golden has been by her side this entire semester – right under her nose. But, along with knowing who he was, she’d know he was the reason why she received so much hate on her blog that she deleted. The reason why her and her best friend got into a fight. Why she was confused about Taehyung. That he -Golden - was the reason for all her stress this semester.

           Would the 19-year-old hate him? Jungkook worried about this the most. He really liked Y/N. And he hoped that the same feelings she developed for Golden could be passed onto him. They were technically the same person, right? Would Y/N also see it that way? Shaking his head, Jungkook glanced at the time on his watch. 7:07am. Letting out a sigh, he stood up from the table in the school’s dining hall. He guess he’d better start making his way towards class.

~!~

Chloe’s POV

           “The fuck…?” Chloe frowned as she looked in front of her at the long line of people coming from the Language Hall building where her creating writing class was. She knew the class held about 200 students and those who’ve skipped almost the entirety of the semester – such as herself – would appear today, but Chloe knew all these people weren’t in her class. Especially since the university’s news team was reporting and casually walking up to certain students in line to, what she assumed, interview them.

           Just the sight of the reporters and the people made the woman want to turn on her heel and head straight back to her dorm to sleep. However, she knew she had to be here to support her best friend and whatever she was going to present to the class for her blog. That and Chloe kind of needed to pass the class. Also, she was curious as to how Jungkook would reveal himself to the world or whatever. So, she couldn’t leave.

           Y/N didn’t return from the dance studio last night, so she was expecting whatever the sophomore was planning for her blog to be epic. She didn’t have any doubts. Y/N was a phenomenal dancer and if she was incorporating that into her blog, then Chloe knew she would pass. She hoped. She prayed.

           “Wow,” Chloe jumped slightly as a deep voice let out a low whistle from beside her. Her eyes almost jumped out of their sockets at the sight of Namjoon standing beside her casually, hands stuffed in his pockets, and looking at the crowd.

           “W-what are you doing here?” Chloe felt her face heating up from him standing beside her. She hasn’t talked to him since she admitted to him about her blog and how he told her he wasn’t mad about it. “Oh, are you looking for Y/N? I don’t think she’s here yet.”

           “Actually,” Namjoon turned and looked down at the shorter girl with a small smile plastered on his lips. If Chloe was blushing before, she was definitely blushing now. “I was looking for you.”

           “F-funny. Usually it’s me who’s looking for you,” she nervously chuckled as she try to look anywhere but him.

           “Yeah,” he also let out a chuckle that Chloe swear made her heart beat a bit faster. “Just wanted to wish you good luck on your presentation.”

           “Eh,” Chloe shrugged. “It’s not really my presentation I’m worried about but thanks.”

“So, uh, I should probably start heading to my exam now,” Namjoon said as he glanced back towards the crowd. “They really… got the news team out here…”

“Golden’s finally going to end. I bet he’s happy…”

Namjoon chuckled again at this. “More like nervous… but… he has nothing to worry about, right?”

Chloe looked up at Namjoon’s questioning arched brow at her. She already knew what he meant by that. She grinned at the senior. “Nothing at all! Well, I should probably get in line for my class. Wow… I really have to wait in a line for my final.”

“Hm, okay. See you around!” Namjoon nodded at her as the girl gave him one last grin before turning around to walk away. However, before she could get too far, she felt a hand grab hers and pull her back slightly.

           “What is it?” She arched a brow at him as Namjoon removed his other hand from his pocket. Flipping Chloe’s hand around, he placed a flash drive into her palm and wrapped her fingers around it.

           “You should make an edit to your last blog post,” Namjoon simply said before letting go of the girl’s hand and turned to walk away. Chloe stood there confused as she looked at the black flash drive in her hand. What did he just give her? Did he really give her a flash drive as a good luck gift for her final? And what did he mean by her last blog post? Suddenly remembering what her post was about, her eyes widened as she looked back up at his retreating figure. Smiling softly, she carefully shoved it into her pocket and whipped out her phone as she began walking towards the line of students.

           Bitchhhhhhh, guess what just happened! Also, wtf r u? There’s a line outside of CW.

~!~

Your POV

           “One and two and three and four and one and done!” Hoseok shouted over the music as your chest heaved heavily as you held your ending pose. The senior immediately started clapping excitedly as a wide grinned brightened his face. Meanwhile, you fell to the ground trying to catch your breath. You had been up all night choreographing a dance to present for your blog. Then, you had to make sure it was almost perfect as if you hadn’t just thought about it a couple of hours ago. After leaving your dorm last night, you had texted both Jimin and Hoseok to ask them with the recording and to give out any pointers. Jimin couldn’t come because of two finals he had later in the day, but Hoseok, who was finished with his finals for the week, arrived at the studio around 4:30am. By then, you had made up a dance and he helped you with some parts but mostly said how it was a beautiful dance and different from your usual style. You knew it had to of have been decent since Hoseok was the school’s dance team captain and has won dance competitions throughout his life. Getting his approval meant a lot.

           “I could feel the emotion through each move! Everyone’s going to love it, Y/N!” Hoseok walked over to you and handed you a bottle of water. Sitting up and grabbing the water, you chugged it down before standing up.

           “Thanks! Now I just have to do some slight edits and upload to my blog!” You smiled at the man. However, he didn’t return your smile and, instead, glanced at the clock on the wall.

           “Uh… doesn’t your final start at 8?”

           “Yeah, why?” You asked as you followed his gaze to the clock. Immediately your eyes widened. 7:52. Panicking, you ran over to your phone that Hoseok had used to record your dance. You forgot you had turned on do not disturb so you wouldn’t be interrupted in the studio. Looking at your notifications, you saw you had several missed calls and messages from Chloe, Jimin, and even a message from Taehyung. Grabbing your bag, you dashed out of the studio door, only managing to give Hoseok a quick wave in the process.

           “Good luck!” Hoseok called out.

           You frantically tried to balance your bag on your shoulder and trim your dance video as you ran past the information desk. There was no way you were going to make it to the final on time. First off, you were sweaty and gross from dancing throughout the night. You had to go back to your dorm and shower first. Sitting in a three-hour final covered in sweat and surrounded by the stench of your B.O. just didn’t sound pleasant to you.

           “Y/N!” You stopped briefly as Hannah, the receptionist and your friend, called out to you.

           “Can’t talk! Gonna be late for my final!” You waved to her as you continued to head towards the door.

           “I know! Good luck with Golden! I’m sure he’ll like you no matter what!” She shouted. Your heart pounded at the thought of Golden – Jungkook. Today was it. Not only was he going to reveal himself to the school, but you were going to reveal your feelings for him in front of the school. Now, there was a strong possibility that Jungkook didn’t return your feelings and you’d be embarrassed for the rest of your college career. However, you held out hope that maybe – just maybe – the freshman held similar feelings. He blushed around you a lot and was quiet, but you always assumed that was because he was just shy. Chloe did hint several times that he may have feelings for you, but it was Chloe you were talking about. At the beginning of the semester, she thought every guy she landed her eyes on in CW was Golden.

           Speaking of being shy, how was he going to reveal himself? Online, Jungkook had this outgoing, sassy personality. Offline, however, he kept to himself when not around his close friends with his AirPods stuffed in his ears. You were kind of expecting for the 18-year-old to get on the stage, do a slight wave to the class, and casually be all, “Hi, my name is Jungkook and I’m Golden. The end.” Would people believe such a laidback, unoriginal reveal? You had no clue, but you were sure once they saw his blog, they probably would. Or maybe he’d go all out. He’ll start dancing to one of the songs he covered on his blog. Maybe he’d dance to his recent cover of Paper Hearts? You kind of hoped he wouldn’t. Whatever it was, you just knew you’d have to hurry and get changed and run to class. It was bad enough you were going to be late as is.

           As you jogged down the sidewalk towards your dorm, you felt your phone buzz in your hand. It was probably Chloe again asking where you were. Apparently, there was a line just to get in your final. Not giving it a second thought, you lifted your phone up to glance at it only to temporarily halt in your tracks as it wasn’t a text from Chloe, but an anonymous message sent to your blog. That was weird. Your blog was made mere hours ago. Who could’ve found you already? Beginning to walk again, you opened the message.

           Anon: new blog or not, when Golden reveals himself today, it’ll be ME he’ll dedicate songs to and not you. C u l8r “dancercookies”

           Your heart sunk a bit at the message. One thing you thought you escaped when you deleted your old blog was the anon hate you got just by simply knowing Jungkook. How did this person find you? You were pretty sure Jungkook didn’t know of your new blog. He, just like everyone else besides Chloe and Jimin, were unaware of your resurrected blog. And on top of that, it was one of the Golden fans who saw him as an idol or something and wanted to confess their love for him after the reveal. Shaking the thoughts from your head, your eyes glanced towards the time on your phone. 7:58. Panic setting in again, you shoved your phone inside your pocket and jogged towards your dorm again. There was no way you were going to be on time. It just wasn’t a way around it.

~!~

           Chloe’s POV

           Chloe tapped her foot impatiently as she kept looking behind her to see if she could spot her short best friend anywhere in the line of people. However, all she saw were tired, excited, and annoyed students that seemed to stretch on for miles. Okay, miles was a little exaggerating, but the line was long. The doors to the auditorium would be opening at any minute and Chloe just knew she’d have to jab and elbow her way through the rush of students. Walking in an orderly fashion seemed to be the last thing on everyone’s minds. Besides the MIA Y/N, Golden himself was nowhere to be spotted amongst the crowd. Jungkook was kind of tall but so were a lot of the other guys who stood in the line. Frowning, Chloe let out a huff while crossing her arms and turning back to face the person in front of her. Trying to get an estimate of how many people she’d have to fight through, the blonde girl’s eyes landed on Wendy, the school’s main news reporter, and her camera guy behind her. The junior seemed to be interviewing another student. Poking her head farther out from behind the person in front of her, she tried to get a better view of the interviewee. Instantly, her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the woman before a small fire sparked in them. It was no one other than Seulgi. Seulgi… the woman who has been harassing Y/N since Golden started noticing her on his blog. The woman who told Namjoon about her blog. How she even knew about Chloe’s blog surprised her but all of that didn’t matter.

           Chloe stepped away from the line and started her way towards the three people. Originally, Chloe had hoped karma would come along and take care of Seulgi, but the opportunity to set her straight was knocking at her door. And who would Chloe be not to answer it? Just as she was in hearing distance of them, she felt someone wrap their hand around her wrist as they pulled her back towards the line.

           “What the hell – oh – oh! It’s you!” Chloe’s eyes widened at the man who had now let go of her wrist. “I don’t have time to talk to you, Taehyung, I have business to take care of-“

           “Where’s Y/N?” Taehyung asked the blonde woman, ignoring her rambling about putting Seulgi or whoever in her place. At hearing the woman’s name, however, Chloe stopped talking and arched a brow.

           “You’re still caught up on her? Listen, Tae, can I call you Tae-“

           “No-“

           “Y/N doesn’t have feelings for you. I thought that’s what ya’ll talked about yesterday?”

           “Chloe, listen-“

           “Also, you being Vmusic95? I knew it. You never gave me a Golden vibe-“

           “Y/N needs to be here on time!” Taehyung suddenly shouted, causing a few students to stop chattering and turn their attention to the two. Even Wendy had stopped conducting her interview with Seulgi to turn and look. Seulgi leaned forward to also see what the commotion was. Her mistake. Chloe’s eyes immediately locked onto the brown-haired woman and Seulgi swore she was snarling a bit at her. Turning away from Seulgi, Chloe looked back towards Taehyung.

           “Duh, it’s our final but why exactly do you care after she dumped you?”

           Taehyung smacked his face at Chloe’s blunt question. The woman really didn’t have a filter. “It’s for Jung-“

           “Ah, Taehyung! Or Vmusic95, am I correct?” Wendy suddenly popped over to the pair. The cameraman shoved his camera into Chloe’s face much to the girl’s annoyance. She eyed the man up and down before pushing the camera away from her with her hand, earning a “hey” from the man in the process.

           “Uh… yeah…” Taehyung said nervously as Wendy grinned in his face.

           “How does it feel being the inferior blog to Golden!? Even to the point that the Cinderella of this fiasco, Y/N, chose Golden over you?”

           “Uh…” Taehyung’s face turned red as he looked away from the peering camera. His eyes contacted the surrounding students around him who were awaiting his answer before looking towards the ground. Chloe arched a brow at the man’s sudden behavior. She’d only known Taehyung a couple of months and only hung out a couple of times, but she knew he was rarely shy. He was always babbling about something and had this goofy box-like grin plastered on his face. Y/N… must’ve really broken his heart and yet, here he was, trying to see that Y/N and Jungkook were happy. He even exposed himself yesterday so, what Chloe assumed, Y/N could have final confirmation that he wasn’t Golden, and it was Jungkook – the man Y/N liked. Anyone with eyes could tell the girl had feelings for the 18-year-old. Anyone could tell Jungkook had feelings for her. Except, well, maybe Y/N.

           Taehyung was obviously still hurting, and Wendy and her team weren’t making it any better. Sucking her teeth, Chloe stood in front of Taehyung, trying her best to cover him from the camera. She didn’t care for Taehyung that much still, but she wasn’t going to let this reporter make him feel worse than he already did.

           “His blog wasn’t inferior, Wendy. It was nearly as popular as Golden’s. Just because he didn’t entertain anons like Golden did all the time didn’t make his blog any less. I was a fan of his blog and at least he had the balls to reveal himself and not lead people on until the last minute-“

           “Uh…” Chloe’s ears perked up at the sound of Jungkook’s voice behind her. Everyone turned their attention to the freshman who had suddenly appeared, bookbag hanging off one shoulder and orange juice bottle occupying his left hand. The girl cleared her throat from getting caught about talking about Jungkook and turned her attention back to Wendy.

           “So… leave him alone… why don’t you uh… interview Jungkook, here?” Chloe laughed nervously only to earn a look from both Jungkook and Taehyung.  “He’s a freshman and-“

           Wendy put her hand up to Chloe’s mouth to stop her from talking as she eyed Jungkook up and down before rolling her eyes. “Cute but he doesn’t seem interesting enough to interview. C’mon Taeyong, let’s go see who else we can find. Thanks for your time, Taehyung… Chloe.”

           Chloe threw a glare at Wendy as she scampered off before turning her attention back to Jungkook who was now standing with her and Taehyung. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I mean, I did but-“

           “Just try not to say anything else regarding that before the final, please,” Jungkook let out a heavy sigh at how Chloe almost exposed him for the nth time.

           “Thanks… for what you said, Chloe…” Taehyung smiled sadly at the woman. She just shrugged before slapping him unexpectedly on his back. “We’re gonna be family one day so I gotta lookout for you, ya know?”

           “Family?” Taehyung and Jungkook asked simultaneously. Chloe just waved it off.

           “So, Y/N’s not with you?” Chloe asked Jungkook as she tried looking past him.

           “No... she’s not here already?” His eyes widened. Taehyung shook his head at Jungkook.

           “Don’t worry, she’ll be here before they let-“

           “Attention students of Creative Writing only!” A voice said over the building’s intercom. The once noisy line immediately hushed to listen to the announcement. “The doors will be opening now to begin the Creative Writing final. You will be asked to provide your full name to ensure you are a student of this class. Thank you and we hope you do well!”

           Just as the announcement ended, the line began to disperse as hordes of people began to make their way forward towards the door. Meanwhile, Jungkook, Chloe, and Taehyung’s eyes widened in fear as only one thought came to their heads.

           Y/N was gonna miss the final.

~!~

Your POV

           “You know, you may not have as great of a RA when I leave next year.”

           “Yeah, can you-“

           “Like you could get someone who drags you outta your room to make sure you go to the floor meetings.”

           “Jackson-“

           “What if they make you call them RA whatever-their-name-will-be? Or no communicating with the other floors? You just don’t know how lucky you’ve had it with me, Y/N. What RA will be as sexy and cool as me? Who will help you with your friendship problems-“

           “Jackson! Can you just open the damn door?!” You shouted at the senior who was rambling on as he fiddled with the lock on your door. After noticing the time at the studio, you had rushed out of the studio while forgetting your room key. You had texted Hoseok in hopes he’d bring you the key, but you knew he wouldn’t reach your dorm in time. You had to still get ready and upload the video to your blog. Time didn’t permit you to be any later than you already were. So – to your annoyance – that led you to turning to Jackson to unlock your door for you. It took him a while to find the master key and to “pass time,” as he said, he began talking about how he’s graduating next semester and how he’d be the greatest RA you’d have in college. This, of course, made you roll your eyes hard.

           Just as you had said that, the lock clicked open and Jackson pushed open the door. Turning to you, he gave you his infamous puppy dog eyes. “You don’t have to be so mean…”

           Ignoring his look, you rushed past him, said a quick thanks, and slammed your door. There were so many things you had to do that you didn’t even know where to start. Should you upload the video first? Or shower? Maybe find something to wear first? Your eyes scanned your shared room as if they would land on something that would give you an answer. However, it didn’t give you an answer and caused your stomach to twist into tight knots as you saw the time on the digital clock beside Chloe’s bed. 8:13.

           “Fuck…” You cursed under your breath. Inhaling deeply to clear your mind somewhat, you decided to upload your video to your blog and while it was uploading, you’d shower quickly. The final was going to take a while, you told yourself. There were 200 students in the class. It’d be a three-hour final – tops. You didn’t want to miss Chloe’s presentation, however. Or Jungkook’s. Hell, you definitely didn’t want to miss yours. You came too far to settle for a failing grade now. Ruffling your hair out of frustration, you logged into your blog and began to upload your dance. Tossing your phone on your bed, you ran to the bathroom to get ready.

 ~!~

Jungkook’s POV

           Where was she? She wasn’t going to skip out on the final, right? She wouldn’t. Chloe had told him and Taehyung that she had come up with an idea for her blog late last night. Was she still doing whatever it was she had decided? She did know what time it was, didn’t she? What if she was sleeping somewhere and didn’t hear her phone’s alarm or something? All these thoughts crossed Jungkook’s mind as more and more students got up to present their blogs and time moved on. It would be easy for the dancer to miss her presentation as, since there were so many students who had to present, the professor only allowed for a 2-4-minute timeframe. No one could go over. She made sure of that as she kept a stopwatch in her hand. One guy had gone about two seconds over and she immediately interrupted him.

           Missing her own presentation wasn’t the only thing Jungkook was thinking about. He worried about her missing his own presentation. The presentation that had students on the edge of their seats which each name the professor called to the front. Wendy and several other reporters who weren’t outside previously were in the usually spacious – now cramped – auditorium. Jungkook wasn’t even sure some of them belonged to the school’s news team which made the 18-year-old more nervous than what he already was. Whenever the presenter began to speak, he could hear the reporters whispering things like, “get your camera ready,” or “this is the one, I can feel it.” Of course, they were wrong.

           Y/N had to make it on time for his presentation. He worked so hard for this day. The times he almost got outed by her best friend – Jungkook eyed Chloe who had her bag in an empty chair between them, reserved for Y/N – to having to deal with the obsessed anons. Most importantly, however, with his reveal, Y/N would know not only who he was but also his feelings for her. Jungkook liked Y/N and he didn’t want to risk missing his chance again like he almost did before. The man glanced over at Taehyung who was listening intently to the current presenter. Jungkook didn’t know what happened when he and Y/N met up the other night. All he knew was that Taehyung was not his usual cheery self afterwards and he even revealed his music blog. He wouldn’t tell Jungkook why but he kind of guessed his reason behind doing so.

           “Uh, thanks Jaebum for your presentation on different breeds of small dogs…” The professor said. Marking something down for what was assumed to be Jaebum, she moved her pencil down her list of students. Jungkook could audibly hear everyone hitch their breaths as they had no idea as to who she would call next. To make the presentations more spontaneous – her exact words – she was calling everyone in a randomized order. “Hm… Choi Chloe?”

           “Fuck,” Jungkook heard the blonde woman grumble under her breath as she stood up and shoved her phone her back pocket. As she squeezed past Jungkook, she looked down at him and winked, which made him nervous. What was she about to do? He knew about her Namjoon blog after the senior had told him and the other guys. Specifically, he asked how he responded to her weird, indirect confession. Yoongi had given Namjoon an idea. Jungkook wondered if the man went through with it or not. Jimin had told him he could do better than Chloe jokingly. Namjoon didn’t think it was funny.

           Jungkook sat up in his chair as Chloe strutted towards the stage, stopping briefly at the professor’s desk to identify herself as present. She walked over to the cord that was connected to the large screen in the auditorium to connect her phone. Those who wanted everyone to see their blog connected their phones to the screen while others verbally explained their blog while having the professor look at it from her phone. Before Chloe turned on her phone to show her blog to the class – and the entire school thanks to the reporters – she took a deep breath and turned around on her heel. She gave a nervous smile and brushed her hair that hung in her face away from her eyes.

           “Hello… I’m Chloe… and,” She inhaled and let out a shaky breath. Jungkook was confused as to why she was nervous to present. She was so nonchalant about it before. According to Y/N, she barely even came to the class. Everyone else began to chatter amongst themselves in confusion as she took the time to calm her nerves.

           “I’m Golden.”

           Jungkook’s mouth fell open – assumingly with the rest of the auditorium – at Chloe’s words. Someone yelled out a prolonged “what” while the rest of the room began to chatter excitedly. The reporters turned to their cameras and started reports on how, “with an unexpected twist, Golden turns out to be student Chloe Choi.”

           “What’s she doing?” Taehyung tapped Jungkook’s arm as he continued to stare at the woman in shock. His mind was blank. What was she doing? As he continued to stare at the girl and the professor tried to get everyone to settle down, Chloe let out a loud laugh while holding her stomach.

           “God, you guys act like a celebrity just walked in or something,” She laughed as she tried to regain her breath. After regaining her composure, she turned on her phone to reveal her real blog titled “Falling in Love with a Senior That Will Be Graduating Next Year: The Sad Story of Chloe M.”

           “Ahem,” Chloe cleared her throat to regain everyone’s – now irritated – attention. The news reporters were desperately trying to retract their previous report. “My blog actually was about my feelings for someone who means a lot to me. This blog was presented in a humorous manner, but everything said within it was true. As you can see, I joke around a lot, which annoys a lot of people.”

           “No shit,” someone yelled out which caused a couple of laughs from the audience. Chloe smirked to hide her smile.

           “Anyways, I stupidly wrote about my feelings about this guy for the world to see and eventually he saw it himself. I thought I ruined everything between us because he’s really this chill kind of guy and,” Chloe blushed as she thought of, who Jungkook was assuming, Namjoon. “I really like him… and so… yeah… I dedicated this blog to him and that was my blog for the semester.”

           Jungkook looked around as no one seemed to applaud the woman for her presentation. Taehyung clapped silently but not loud enough to reach the front of the stage. Noticing no one applauded her, Chloe sucked her teeth in response. “Whatever. I hope what ya’ll are waiting for won’t be a disappointment.”

           Jungkook frowned at her words as he watched her gather her phone and get off the stage. This was the second time today she’s indirectly insulted him.

           “Uh, thanks… Chloe… let’s see…”

           Chloe smirked at Jungkook as she returned to her seat. Jungkook just rolled his eyes at her as he turned his attention back to the professor. His mind drifted back to Y/N, however, as he checked the time on his phone. 8:57. Was she really not coming? The more time went on and people presented, the more nervous Jungkook felt. At any moment he could be call.

           “Who’s next…?”

           It would break his heart for her to miss his reveal. She’d end up like the other students on campus who didn’t take creative writing – finding out he was Golden on the news broadcast. Probably on a rerun, too, since they were recording live.

           “Jeon Jungkook?”

           Jungkook didn’t even notice how the auditorium quieted down again as the professor said the next name to present. He snapped out of his thoughts, however, when both Taehyung and Chloe nudged him. He stared doe-eyed at the stage as he heard Taehyung whisper out that he was next. He couldn’t be, right? Maybe they misheard. He couldn’t present yet. He wasn’t ready. Y/N wasn’t here yet.

           “Is Jeon Jungkook present? Going once…”

           “Go, bro,” Chloe slapped his arm. “She’ll be here in time!”

           “Yeah, Kookie. Maybe it’s like one of those romance movies where she suddenly busts through the doors just as you… present,” Taehyung chose his words carefully as other students seemed to identify Jungkook’s name to his face and turned to arch brows and confused faces at him.

           “Going twice…”

           “Ugh, if the freshman isn’t gonna go, I will,” the voice of Seulgi could be heard from the back of the auditorium.

           “Can you just go so you can finally shut that bit-“

           “Chloe,” Taehyung frowned at her. She just shrugged and sat back in her seat.

           “Okay then, let’s-“

           “Here” Jungkook immediately stood up from his seat, causing the professor and everyone else to look over at him. “I’m… here…”

           “Well, c’mon! We are on a strict schedule!” The professor motioned him over to the stage. Jungkook gulped before turning his head to glance at the closed auditorium doors. He only hoped Taehyung was right and Y/N would walk through those doors at any given moment. Sighing, he began to make his way towards the stage.

 ~!~

Your POV      

           Where r u?! He’s presenting! – Chloe

           “Fuck!” You shouted as you dashed out of your dorm room, slamming the door shut behind you.

           “Language!” Jackson called from somewhere down the hall. Ignoring him, you decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. You dashed down the stairs, avoiding the few stragglers who were going in the opposite direction. Was the professor not calling names by alphabetical order? Or maybe she was going backwards on the rollcall? Whatever she was doing, Jungkook was presenting now – ready to reveal to the world who he was – and you weren’t there. You weren’t there to give him the support the shy man probably needed. Nor were you there to cheer him on from the sea of students – to tell him he’s got this. All while pretending to not know who he really was.

           Rushing out of your dorm, you ran frantically towards the language hall. It wasn’t too far away but it was far enough. Luckily, the usually busy sidewalks were practically empty do to everyone either in their finals, studying, or sleeping. That, or maybe they were all waiting outside the building for Jungkook to emerge as Golden. As the building came into sight, you gasped at all the people outside gathered around it. Some you were even positive weren’t students at your school. Clutching onto your bag, you began to push your way through the crowd.

           “Excuse me. Sorry,” You said as you made your way through the crowd. As you reached the front of the door, you were surprised to see two security guards standing in front of them. Clearing your throat, you smiled nervously at them. “Uh… hi… may I go in?”

           “Creative Writing students are only permitted past this point,” the one on the left said.

           “I am a student! I-I mean, I am in this class! I have to take my final!”

           “Miss, the final began a little over an hour ago. You’re just now coming?” The other officer said as she arched a brow at you.

           “Please! I can’t fail this class! I’m an honor student. I worked so hard and-“ You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. At this point, not only were you going to miss Jungkook’s reveal, but you were going to fail your class.

           “H-hey, don’t cry! What’s your name?” The woman asked as she pulled out a clipboard with a list of names.

           You sniffed your tears back as you managed to stutter out your name. “Y/L/N Y/N…”

           The woman searched for a bit while the other officer peered over her shoulder to see if he could spot your name as well. “Ah!” the male officer said as he pointer at something on the board.

           The woman looked up at you and smiled. “Your name is on the roll. However, I can’t let you in during a presentation. After this student is finished, we can let you in.”

           “B-but I need to be in there right now!” You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You were going to miss his presentation after all.

           “Sorry, professor’s orders or it’ll be an automatic fail…” The male officer gave you a sad smile. A tear managed to escape your left eye as you stared in bewilderment at them. This was it. There was nothing else you could do… but wait.

~!~

Jungkook’s POV

                       Jungkook nervously stared out at the crowd of students before him. He gulped as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Suddenly, he wished he had styled his hair up instead of his usual down style. Were the stage lights extra bright today or something? He felt like the light and heat radiating from them were trying to bake him. The sound of the professor clearing her throat, signaling him to start, caused his eyes to shift to her. He gave her a nervous smile before shifting his eyes to the entrance of the auditorium. Jungkook thought he could dash out of the room right then and there and announce he was Golden later in the day or so. Or maybe, he’d never reveal Golden and just abandon the blog. People would eventually forget about him, right? He was just a fad, after all. Right? At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself.

           Jungkook looked to the back of the auditorium where the news reporters stood, all waiting for his presentation just like the rest of the class. He could tell the professor he didn’t have a blog, and this was his first time coming to the class. However, he knew she wouldn’t believe him as he sat near the front of the class for the entirety of the semester and he’d lock eyes with the professor on multiple occasions. She knew who he was. Finally, Jungkook looked to the empty seat that was reserved for Y/N. Where was she? Was she okay? Why wasn’t she coming? Jungkook had to admit, maybe he was stalling because he hoped Taehyung would be right and she’d enter the room at any moment. However, he knew he couldn’t wait for her forever. He couldn’t keep the everyone waiting as they began to snicker and talk amongst themselves at his nervousness. He had to let them know now. He had to put an end to Golden once and for all.

           “Look, if you need-“

           “Remember… the way you made me feel…” Jungkook began to sing quietly. “… Such young love but…”

           The once rowdy auditorium began to quiet down as Jungkook’s angelic-like voice began to travel to the ears of the students. Jungkook stopped briefly as he studied the students within the first row of seats. Some of their mouths were ajar with widened eyes. Others, however, seemed skeptical. He couldn’t blame them. Chloe did get everyone’s hopes up with her fake reveal. Inhaling and deciding to continue, he closed his eyes and started singing again.

           “Something in me knew that it was real… frozen in my head…”

           As Jungkook quietly sung the next part, reporters hesitantly turned to the cameras to report who they almost thought could be Golden while the cameramen zoomed in on Jungkook. Whispers could be heard amongst the students as they began to question those beside them if this shy kid was really the school’s beloved Golden. He couldn’t be, right? They mean, he sounded like Golden’s singing voice but Golden wasn’t shy. The real Golden would’ve gotten on stage, smirk at everyone, say something cocky, then reveal his identity. He wouldn’t be this 18-year-old shifting nervously on stage with his mint green feather cardigan, denim jeans held up with black suspenders, white t-shirt, and black combat boots. He looked too soft to be Golden. And Jungkook knew they wouldn’t believe it was him. That’s why he came prepared.

           Suddenly, he stopped singing and pulled out his phone and went to connect it to the screen. Everyone arched their brows at the brown-haired boy as he quietly tapped away on his phone, screen hidden from them to see. After a few seconds, pings and vibrations could be heard throughout the room. Even the professor looked confused as her own phone buzzed. Was it an emergency alert or something? Jungkook briefly looked up from his phone to see everyone checking their notification before he turned on the screen to project his blog to the room. Gasps were heard throughout the room as students looked up from their phones to the screen on the stage:

           Golden: My name is Jeon Jungkook… (posted 5 seconds ago)

             The camera operators of the news teams in the back all immediately focused their cameras onto Jungkook on the stage as reporters began to report of the sudden post made by Golden and the screen that Jungkook had displayed. Jungkook gulped nervously as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, “I’m… the best at almost everything. I dance, sing, draw, and write…”

           Jungkook felt his confidence starting to rise within him as students began to stand up from their seats – eyes filled with realization and shock. Letting out a chuckle at the sight, Jungkook continued, “Ha… even my music taste is amazing… right? I’m just…Golden.”

           Instantly, after revealing himself to the starstruck crowd, Jungkook hit the ‘play’ button for his cover of Paper Hearts. As Golden’s – Jungkook’s ­– recorded voice rang from the speakers, Jungkook harmonized with the recording. His voice was an exact match to the recording. He did it. He revealed himself as Golden.

           “Golden has revealed himself!”

           “Golden turns out to be Jeon Jungkook!”

           “Jeon Jungkook reveals himself as the infamous mystery music blogger, Golden!”

           Reporters were desperately reporting the new information to be one of the first to leak the information. Some students were recording from their phones – probably going live on Instagram or other social media sites. Chloe smiled softly to herself as Jungkook sung the song emotionally on the stage. She knew Y/N was supposed to be here. This wasn’t just his reveal as Golden but his confession of his feelings to her as well. Even Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend’s bravery.    

           As Jungkook sung the song that held meaning to him, he closed his eyes as he reminisced on his semester. From starting his blog and getting his first follower then hundreds then thousands to receiving anonymous hate and love confessions. He remembered how many people told him his recommendations made their weeks better or how some even recommended songs to him. Keeping Golden’s identity from the entire school was a challenge and though some found out along the way, Jungkook was grateful they were friends of his and not strangers. When Jungkook started college, he didn’t know he’d make such a huge impression on his school within his very first semester. But here he was, hearing the voices of students in the auditorium singing along with him, clapping, and some even sobbing. He could only imagine how others outside were reacting to the news.

           As the song began to end, one final thought came to Jungkook. Y/N. She was supposed to be here to see his reveal. She was supposed to be in the seat beside Chloe and staring at him with, hopefully, amazement in her eyes. But, would she? Golden gave her such a hard time during the semester. Would she hate Jungkook for keeping it a secret from her? However, Jungkook didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to remember the time he first saw her in that sandwich café and how shy – and cute - she was as she sat across from him and Namjoon. Or, when he saw her dance for the first time and how she lost herself in what she loved doing the most. Also, the time she stress-baked at Namjoon and Jin’s dorm and he, Jimin, and Taehyung helped her. That was also the first time Jungkook decided to toy with her, which was successful, as he remembered the girl became a blushing mess at Golden’s acknowledgement of her. He remembered how stressed she was about mid-terms and they studied in the library together. How at Suho’s party, she grabbed his hand so they wouldn’t get separated from one another in the crowd of people they were in. His favorite memory of Y/N, however, was over fall break and they got to know each other more. How she felt comfortable enough around him to tell him about her life up to now and vice versa. As Jungkook remembered this, the song came to an end and the loud cheers and applause of his classmates, professor, and news reporters brought him back to reality. Jungkook snapped his eyes open and just as he did, the doors to the auditorium burst open, revealing Y/N, her eyes searching frantically around the room before landing on him on the stage. He locked eyes with her, and she gave him a small smile. And it was with that smile, Jungkook thought maybe – just maybe – she saw his reveal and confession after all.

[kutemouse]

Never Really Over

Disclaimers: I made and edited the above gif myself. That’s why I’ve used the tag #btsgif. Feel free to use, just please give me credit for the edit! I used some of the lines from Katy Perry’s lyrics to inspire and write this, but they belong to Katy.

So this imagine was inspired by the Katy Perry song “Never Really Over,” which, when I heard it for the first time, reminded me of the way my bias works. Yes, I am a Taehyung bias, but every two weeks or so, one of the other members of BTS wrecks me, and I mean WRECKS me to the point where I think, “This is it. This is when I change my bias.” But then Taehyung does something or posts a picture, and I instantly zip right back to him. I’ve been this way since I started stanning BTS, idk why, low-key, I think I’m secretly an OT7 fan.

Age Recommendation: 16+

Warnings: Sweeeeaaaaars (like always), ANGST with a happy ending, Taehyung being a sweetie-pie, no smut, might make a part two with smut idk, honestly, I hope this makes you laugh more than anything.

Word Count: 2,187

Summary: It had been two years since you broke up with Taehyung, and you were finally at the point where he stopped randomly popping into your head. But that didn’t stop him from randomly popping up on your social media, wrecking you into oblivion, and making you do stupid things.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Oh no. Not again. I’m not falling into this rabbit hole again, not today, not ever. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again, that I’d draw the line and never think of you again, and I did. Or so I thought.

I tentatively scrolled down my feed back to the video of you singing your heart out to a sea of adoring fans, feeling a twinge in my chest as your voice reverberated throughout the stadium. How I missed that deep rumble, the one that drew me out of sleep each morning with a chuckle and a kiss.

Shaking my head, I attempted to push all thoughts of you out of my head. I didn’t miss you. I didn’t miss anything about you, no-siree, I was over you. Ugh, who was I kidding? I couldn’t even go on the internet without seeing you. I was losing it.

“Fuck this,” I thought, standing up from the bench and heading towards my favorite cafe. The bell over the door tinkled, bringing a memory to the forefront of my mind.

We sat in the booth in the far corner so we could have as much privacy as the cafe would allow. “It’s happening, jagiya,” he murmured, taking my hand. “I’m going on tour. I won’t be back for nearly a year.”

“I know,” I muttered in reply, looking down at my lap. I couldn’t be angry, hell, I couldn’t even be sad. We both knew this was coming. Ever since BTS’s popularity shot through the roof, he’s been getting more and more busy, constantly at practice, song-writing, or travelling.

“Hey, we can make this work,” he said, his voice soothing over the pain I was beginning to feel. “I’ll always come back to you, jagi.”

He reached over and grasped my cup, taking a sip from it before squinching his eyes up cutely. I laughed and playfully grabbed for it back. “Hey, that’s mine!”

“I don’t even know how you can drink this,” he said, still grimacing. “Coffee is so bitter.”

“It’s an acquired taste,” I said, giggling.

“Miss?”

A voice brought me back to reality, and I blinked a couple times before looking at the barista. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

She gave me an amused smile. “I asked what you’d like to order.”

“Oh, uh… Hmmm, an iced Americano for today, thanks.”

“You got it. I’ll have it ready in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

I paid then sat down in a booth to wait, fiddling with my phone. My finger touched the fingerprint pad, powering on my screen to show that video once more. Cursing, I closed the app and jammed the thing back into my pocket.

“Miss? Your Americano is ready.”

I stood and took the cup from the girl, walking quickly back outside and sitting down on the bench again. I just couldn’t escape you. It’s like no matter what I did, you were there. You were always there… and not just because your face covered the internet the way clouds covered the earth. You were always in the back of my mind.

I felt my self-control slowly trickling away as I drew my phone out of my pocket, clicked it on, and opened a new message, typing in your name as the recipient. I never deleted your number, scared of breaking the last possible tie I had to you.

Ugh, no, stop. It’s done. It’s been done for two years now. I left my phone in my lap, trying and failing to concentrate on drinking my coffee instead. We parted amicably, with both of us acknowledging that our relationship was over due to you not being able to be the boyfriend I needed. Still, for weeks after we separated, I couldn’t help jumping every time someone knocked at my door, thinking it was you, or stopping guys on the street who even slightly resembled you. That had all faded away, though, so why were my nerves on fire once more?

Our relationship was terrible, or at least it was towards the end. You were constantly gone, and didn’t have time to call or video-chat me. You had to send me text messages on the down-low, scared your company would find out about us and force us apart, or that delulu fangirls would find out about me and come after me. We only spent time together twice in the last six months of our relationship, and I was beginning to get sick of explaining to my friends and interested guys why I was unavailable to date. The second time I saw you, you came over to my apartment wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a baseball cap.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically as he shed his disguise. “I had to circle the block a couple times… make sure I wasn’t followed.”

I threw my hands up. “This is insane!”

“What is?”

“This! This relationship! Taehyung, I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t normal!”

His mouth dropped open at my proclamation. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and turning away.

Taehyung grasped my arms with his large, soft hands. “Please,” he said, his voice cracking. “Let’s just talk about this.”

And talk we did. For hours. And we both came to the same conclusion: That our relationship was no longer working and in order for us to both be happy, we needed to let each other go. I reached up and touched my lips, remember the way you kissed me for the last time. Hard and deep, with both large hands on either side of my face, you kissed me until my heart broke cleanly in two.

Yet, even after all the pain I went through, I was surprised to find myself missing you even weeks after our break-up. Yeah, we were a mess, but it was the best mess I’d ever been in. By the time I figured out that life with you in it, as seldom as that actually was, was still better than life without you entirely, it was too late. You had moved on, and were becoming one of the biggest names in k-pop, no, in the world, ever. I had moved on, too… or so I thought.

Sure, I dated other guys. I even had a relationship that lasted a good six months… but none of it ever felt right. I broke up with the guy after he hinted he wanted to move in together, realizing it would never feel right no matter how much I tried to force it.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked it open, staring at your name at the top of the text. What would happen if I just sent a simple, “Hey?” I let myself indulge in my imagination, thinking about the way you’d ecstatically respond, instantly sparking a conversation and lighting up my deadened heart. After a few days of texting, you’d ask to video chat, and I’d see the face that cracked my heart and soul into pieces, but this time, you were intent on mending all that. You’d come over just like old times, and we’d spend night after night together, intertwined so close we practically become one… But then you’ll leave. Again. Work will call, or your manager, or one of the other members, and you’ll leave spouting useless apologies and empty promises. Then I’ll have to get over you again.

Draw the line, I told myself. Draw it. No more. Yet even as I was thinking it, the side of me that missed you put a toe over that line, inching towards completely diving headfirst into the shit show I knew we’d forever be.

I opened the social media app again and watched that video of you singing for the third time. “Fuck it,” I thought, switching back to my messaging app and typing out a message.

Me: Hey. Just caught myself thinking about you and wondered how you’ve been. I miss you.

I stared at it for a good thirty seconds, my thumb hovering over the send button the entire time. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed down, slowly opening them to see the circle going ‘round and ‘round, trying to send.

Wait, no. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t trip up after two whole years. I frantically tapped on the message, trying to delete it, but then the dreaded check mark appeared. Sent.

“Fuck!” I cried out, startling the closest passerby.

“Sorry,” I muttered, looking down at my lap, my cheeks flooding with warmth. How the hell had you trickled back in? I drew that line, I did, I did, but now I’d tripped up. I sipped from my coffee cup, keeping my eyes on my phone screen the entire time. Nothing. You were probably busy. Hell, you’d probably changed your number for all I knew.

With that thought comforting me, I threw my cup into the nearest recycling bin and began the five-minute trek back to my apartment. I spent the rest of the day distracting myself with studying, my fingers hovering over my phone every now and then, tempted to check it. At around the same time the sun was going down, my phone finally beeped and I snatched it up.

Damn. It was just my classmate asking a question about the essay we were assigned. I rolled my eyes and chucked my phone somewhere on the floor before flopping backwards on my bed. It was over. Has been for quite some time. I didn’t know why I expected anything more.

My phone beeped again, and I sat up so fast I made myself dizzy. It beeped again, and I yeeted myself off the bed and frantically began searching through the ocean of clothes that littered my floor. Shit, where did that damn thing go? I hadn’t chucked it that far, had I?

I dug through the random piles of my belongings, making even more of a mess as I hunted my phone down. It started ringing, and I whirled around at the sound, seeing my screen shine through a random tank top. I stumbled towards it, hands outstretched, and grabbed at it, the phone slipping through my hands like soap and falling back to the floor.

“FUCK!” I yelled out just before a knock at my door made me whip my head around.

Leaving the damn phone, I stumbled out of my bedroom and towards my front door, taking a second to run a hand through my curls in an attempt to smooth them down, before I whipped open the door.

My mouth dropped open in a gasp, eyes widening as I took you in, one hand still holding the phone to your ear, the other shoved sheepishly in your jean pocket. “Hi,” was all you said. Mouth still open like a gaping fish, I wordlessly stepped aside to let you in.

Closing the door behind you, I finally managed to get some words out. “How… Wait, why…?”

You chuckled, the buttery-smooth deep bass of your voice causing tingles to break out all over my body. “I got your text, Y/n.”

“Wait, was that… that was you calling?” I asked, my voice coming out strained. “Sorry I didn’t pick up, I was-”

“It’s fine,” you said, waving my apology off. “I know you’re probably busy… and honestly, I don’t know why I’m here other than the fact that I…”

You trailed off, and I swallowed, anticipating the dreaded words. You were here because you needed to remind me that we were done. That there was nothing between us anymore. That you had a girlfriend.

“That I… Well, that I miss you too.”

For the second time that evening, my mouth dropped open. “You what?” I squeaked.

You chuckled once more, but this time, you had a trace of uneasiness in your chocolate-brown eyes. “I miss you, you dork.”

I didn’t bother trying to speak anymore, I just acted. I rushed towards you, grabbing both of your cheeks, and kissed you with everything I had. You grunted in surprise before grabbing me by the waist, steadying both of our stances, and moving your lips around mine, fully kissing me back. The second we separated, you drew me back in, even going so far as to swipe a mischievous tongue over my bottom lip, causing me to groan in pleasure.

We finally pulled apart, panting a little, your eyes bright, a wide smile on your face. “It’s been two whole years, though,” I said.

“Yeah, and the entire time, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” you murmured, peppering light kisses along my cheek. “I won’t let you get away this time.”

I sighed and curled up against your chest, once again falling hard for the way my head seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of your neck, and the way your hands seemed to meld with my love handles. It was like we were made for each other.

Well then. I thought we were done, but I guess it’s never really over, is it?

[rkyeji]

#5011 hwang yeji, #5017  kang daniel & #5036 park jinyoung - love shot , lyrics                        outfit / hair style mentioned: @rkpjy, @danielxrk, @rkchwev, @jungeunxrk, @ryujinrk, @rktaeyang, @rksuwoong, @rkkenta, @rkxbin, @rkyuri, @rkheejin, @rkmason, @rknak,, @rkkyungsoo, @rkjaemin, @rkchaeryeong, @rkpwj, @rkkyul, @yewonxrk

another week. yeji had made it to the next episode and the next week-- she was so close to being in the finals but right now she wasn’t sure how she was performing-- if what she was doing was the right choice, then again yeji improved her singing because she wanted to become a better performer. not just a dancer and she was determined to show everyone that she was improving as both a singer and dancer.

one thing, junhee’s elimination-- he had helped her out with her vocals but despite that gotten eliminated and she almost cried when she saw him leave. there wasn't enough time for her to mourn the older male but she made sure to text him. when she saw who she was grouped with, yeji lifted both her brows, "jinyoung and daniel," daniel was her cousin and they got along but she had never worked with him. jinyoung was a good singer and immediately she started wondering what kind of song they could do, knowing that daniel wasn't a dancer and jinyoung was a great singer... she was a dancer, how could they incorporate everything they were good at.

they spend a day brainstorming what kind of performance they want to do, yeji and jinyoung arrive first. while she's with jinyoung, she can't help but feel like she's seen him before but she can't place his face. while discussing with him she can't help but notice how familiar he feels, 'who?' she studies his face before realizing, "AH! SNOW WHITE OPPA?" how many months ago was that, yeji had seen jinyoung in the hospital. her mouth was wide open for a moment, then she remembered where they were and quickly covered her mouth. maybe he didn't want anyone to know about where they had met and she didn't want to be insensitive towards him.

right before they could continue the conversation daniel walks into the room, yeji notices how he seems different. it was early in the morning so yeji initially thought that maybe things would catch up-- but daniel seemed to drift further away by the minute.

back and forth, discussing and talking somehow at the end of the day they came to an agreement. yeji understood daniel's concerns and worries but she was honestly frustrated that he was sitting on those feelings, it wouldn't do him any good.

in the end they decided on loveshot, they decided to put some twists on it-- it would start acoustically, towards the end they would all dance. they all got to show something that they did well, daniel his musical side, jinyoung's vocals and yeji got dancing. however one thing she hadn't expected to have to fight for was the line distribution. when she saw the first draft of it she gave daniel a slight glare, "are you underestimating me?" which in itself was understandable, throughout the competition she had danced for everything she did but when they first suggested that only daniel and jinyoung have parts before her dance, she couldn't help but feel a little insulted. yeji felt overlooked and pushed into a corner that she wanted to get out of, she had improved vocally and was it so bad of her to want to show that? jinyoung made her sing a couple of the lines and eventually, she got a small singing part before daniel's rap which honestly satisfied her.

after daniel had expressed his thoughts of not wanting to dance more than he needed to. which yeji found understandable-- daniel wasn't a dancer, yeji hadn't really seen him dance so far. so yeji mixed and matched the part where everyone was dancing, taking the choreo from a different verse and putting it over the original choreo, that would be too difficult for daniel to keep up with. yeji stayed late to prepare for that, dancing, listening to the song so that when the boys came the next morning she had something to show them.

when the next day arrived yeji was filled with excitement, even if she had gone home last she felt energetic and when they were all gathered she looked at daniel.

"i have fixed the choreo, so that you should be able to dance it," she nodded-- yeji was confident in her own abilities as a choreographer and as dancer to teach him. this would be one of her biggest challenges so far but she accepted it.

at some point during the week yeji found herself in a daze, staring at the other team-- wondering what n earth kind of song they were working on. she heard a lot of heavy breathing coming from their side of the room and it threw her off. while at the same time hansol was on the other side, she didn't want to stare at him in an obvious way but she couldn't help it. the way that her heart drew her gaze to him was excruciatingly painful, she couldn't just go up and give him a hug even though he was so close. yeji shook her head and snapped back to the reality that was her team and her nose scrunched, yeji turned to the camera for a moment before pointing in the direction of hansol and his team-- "don't they look.... so pretty? i feel like i see flowers when i look over."

the weeks proves to be more turbulent than any of her other weeks during the mgas, at one point she goes out to get them all something to drink but when she comes back daniel and jinyoung are arguing about something... something she doesn't understand, it sounds like baby language, she stares at them in disbelief before opening her mouth to speak, "are you here to argue or practice?" she lived in the us for three years and since coming back she hasn't completely gotten used to how satoori sounds-- to her it sounds like gibberish at times.

yeji finds herself sterner than she has ever had to be, even if they are family yeji wasn't about to give daniel a free pass-- whenever she danced with him she watched him in the mirror and then she corrected the multiple things he were doing wrong. each time he makes a mistake he apologizes to her and each time she gets more frustrated, "don't apologize for making mistakes, just practice so you don't make them when we are performing-- this is where you can make mistakes." yeji stays late with him when he stays, not wanting to leave him hanging if he has any questions-- he tells her to leave but she stays, even with the music playing she manages to get a couple of minutes of sleep without intending to sleep but the long nights were slowly getting to her.

yeji notices how daniel's motivation is lower and when he tells them what is wrong, reading the online comments were going to get everyone eventually. they have a moment where they all are thinking the same thing-- daniel should be in the center at the start of their performance when he plays the opening. it was odd, this was the first time all week she felt they seemed more like a team. an excited smile grows on her face as she finds a camera, giving it a thumbs up in its direction.

in all honest yeji feels it has been going better than she expected even with hansol in the same practice room, sure there are moments when she finds herself looking over and she can't help but wonder if he has noticed her being around. however yeji goes out for a water break at one point, then when she comes back hansol and jungeun are practicing some of the sexier parts of their performance and yeji is stunned for a moment. looking how his eyes are eyeing the older female, she knows that it is just a performance but at the same time... that could have been her, maybe that could have created more trouble than good. that is what she thinks to herself but her self awareness had been gone, in the few seconds they performed yeji hadn't left the entrance and then suddenly she felt a smack to her face and she lost her balance, for a moment. yeji had gotten punished for dazing out... at a time like this. yeji rubbed her forehead before walking back into the room. hoping that no one saw her but jinyoung noticed-- telling her to be more careful and she knew. she wasn't usually like this.-- "ahh," she utters, seating herself on the couch, "her eyes once again catching hansol and jungeun... "so dizzy." she fumbled around for a couple of moments before she grabbed her phone.

⟨ ━━ ✉ 3 messages sent to ‘ ryuanne '

⇢ hansol oppa, is dancing with jungeun unnie... ⇢ the dance is sexy.... the door hit me in the face... ⇢ i'm a 🤡

yeji glanced up, contemplating....

⟨ ━━ ✉ 1 message sent to ‘ hansol ❤ ' ⇢  ... i want to dance with you too. ! deleted ⇢ you are doing well and looking good~ ❤

just as quickly as she had typed it, she deleted it. it wasn't that she was jealous of jungeun-- or maybe she was. yeji finally had him within her reach, emotionally after so long of it being onesided. she was sure she had glanced over more times than he had over at her, whenever she did she saw how hard he was working and she couldn't help but smile. the atmosphere in the practice room was nice-- even if they were different teams, jungeun was great dancer, that much she had noted and kenta as well. right now she felt lucky to be able to see them progress throughout the week. yeji rubbed her forehead again as she felt the heat from the hit earlier fade, looking over at daniel and jinyoung. even if the road up to now had been turbulent it was getting better.

on monday, something happens that surprises yeji. daniel expresses his desires to sing the last line in their performance and yeji lifts her brows, he's careful when he asks her about this and she wonders why her out of all of them, jinyoung was the vocal and she was the dancer. thinking about it the last line had an impact, it came right after their dancing and yeji has seen daniel improve over the past couple of days. maybe it was natural that he came to her after all, yeji lifted her brows at him and tells him, "if you can do the entire choreo, without making a mistake by the end of today. i'll consider it." they go back and forth about it, yeji is younger than him yes but in this case, right now-- age didn't matter. yeji wants to motivate him, this is the first time this week that he has really shown desire for a certain part. he had worked on the instrumental for their performance by himself, which yeji and she was sure jinyoung also appreciated it. daniel expresses his thoughts again and she decides to check his resolve a little, "if you don't look good, it will be highlighted when you are in the center position. it will throw the performance off. is that something you will be happy about?" for a moment she notices how he hesitates, takes back his initial request and yeji feels a small wave of disappointed, "are you giving up that easily?" once again she tries to reassure him, if she doesn't think he's good enough for the part then she won't give it to him. daniel tells her his thoughts and yeji holds back a smile, "only if you think it looks good," he says and yeji looks at him, "then show me what you got," the answer she gets from daniel is one that she wanted

at the end of the day, daniel approaches her-- she sees there is determination in his eyes and yeji thinks it suits him more than the moping that he did on friday. yeji turns on the music for him and watches him as he dances and it isn't perfect, dancing was still foreign to him after all but she saw how determined he was and how he tried his best to do well. she also knew they had two whole days to work on the performance altogether-- she looks at him, judging his moves and figuring out what he needs to work on for the final day but when its over, he stands there and waits for her verdict, she can't help but find it a little amusing but in the end she looks at him, "you can have it, if jinyoung oppa agrees." yeji walks up to him and gives him a warm, proud smile-- "i'm proud of you oppa." she nods and starts her own stretching exercises.

for the rest of the evening and night, she stays around-- working on the dance solo that she is doing for her part in the song. when she gets the spotlight on her-- yeji wants to incorporate some of the original dance moves with the finger gun, body waves. keeping it up in the same alley but at the same time matching it to the instrumental that daniel made for them. yeji times each move perfectly.

yeji does the two her part of the choreo, wanting to hear their input but at at the end they both complimented her and she smiled. at least they liked it all that was left for the judges and audience to like it.

- day of performance -

the week had been hectic and more turbulent than she could have imagined it would be-- but they somehow made it here. she looked to her left and right, seeing daniel and jinyoung by her side. knowing how daniel had been feeling all week, yeji was overcome with a feeling of worry, incase he still felt the same way and she looked at him with concern in her eyes. yeji wanted them all to do well, daniel had worked hard and she was proud of the progress he had made.

“it’ll be alright oppa,” she whispered as she leaned over to daniel, giving him a hopeful smile.

when the stages start yeji feels excited, the first group gets called onto stage and it's heejin, kyulkyung and the favorite this season... choi minho, she wonders about their performance and while watching them yeji thinks that they perform well-- the song choice was a bold choice, in her opinion. minho and kyulkyung seemed to have no problem following the choreo but in the competition yeji had seen heejin dance once, regardless she was impressed by the female. she could tell the other had been practicing-- she nodded her head in approval and claps after their performance is up.

after them, kyungsoo, changbin and yewon are up-- yeji isn't sure what she expects from them but yewon was a dancer. kyungsoo had danced as well, so maybe they would do something simple but remembering changbin... maybe not, instead they perform a song, that yeji isn't sure she has heard before but kyungsoo's vocals, changbin and yewon's rap it's impressive but she can't help but feel like she misses something, the way they take the stage leaves her amazed. they sure have nailed the stage presence, yeji claps again after the performance is over.

then next up is the retro future team, hansol, kenta and jungeun-- she was excited about their performance. she had seen their performance take form over the past week and she couldn't help but be excited to see the final product on stage. maybe she was a little biased but even as she watched them from the side of the stage, her eyes are naturally drawn to hansol, "they are even better on stage," she said into the cameras that were filming them as they were waiting for their turn. when hansol is on stage she thinks that she can get excused for looking at him-- he did so well up there, kenta and jungeun did well too and she wanted to praise them as they came down from their performance but she couldn't find the time before it was their turn to perform.

yeji turned to daniel, she knew how he must be feeling but again, she looked at him. "it'll be alright," she whispered to him with a slight smile. yeji brushed her hands over her outfit, straightening any wrinkles that could have occurred. she had two different sets of microphones going on,  one handheld microphone that was mostly just for show since she would sing into the head microphone later. when hansol's group was done yeji found herself tapping her feet, she had butterflies in her stomach. even if she had a dance in it, the start was so different from what she usually did it started slow, then just singing. no dancing in the start. it felt unusual for her but she had practiced this multiple times during their practices, she was ready for this. they were ready for this.

their numbers were called and they brought chairs with them to stage, she placed her chair down, then they introduced their name-- "jinielji" it was basically just parts of their names combined. this was a stage where everyone showed something they were good at and where they showed something else, it was a nice combination. yeji sat down on her chair, daniel was in the center, holding his guitar and on the other side was jinyoung. then he started playing, the melody of loveshot chorus rang throughout the room. jinyoung's singing part was up-- opening the song vocally and he sang beautifully as one would expect. next up was yeji's part, she brought the microphone up to her mouth and started singing.

nuneul garin chaero geureoke gutge dada beorin seoroye

her voice had strength behind it even if she sang softer than she had done previously, thanks to jinyoung's guidance and all of the adivce that junhee had given her up until his elimination yeji felt confident in her singing, thanks to all of them. yeji's part finished and following her was jinyoung then daniel rapped, she placed the microphone down, when the rap was coming to an end she walked up infront of the males. there was a pause in the instrumental, jinyoung's voice singing 'it's the loveshot' could be heard and now yeji was in the center position, she lifted her head-- a smirk on the face as she started to dance a choreo she had choreographed for this part. it was different from the original choreo, her moves were flexible and powerful and she had made sure they would suit the instrumental that they were going for. this was a different kind of dancing style that she had done up until this point, the look in her eyes was charismatic and she did every move with purpose.

na nanana nananana na nanana nanana na nanana nananana oh oh oh oh oh

when that was over, all three of them sing the line 'its the love shot,' yeji pretends to take a shot of something before walking back to her place. jinyoung's starts the verse after, yeji sways slightly side to side before her part comes up again-- confidently she sings the lines she had gotten. daniel raps after her, delivering his part well-- yeji feels proud of the male, as silly as it might be but with everything that had been goin on between their group since this week of preparations tarted yeji can't help it. daniel's part fade out and this time, its time for jinyoung to have the center position with her and daniel getting into their next positions. jinyoung delivers the bridge amazingly and she knows that that is something he is born with-- yeji singing the vocals over daniel's rap. making sure her voice doesn't stand out too much over her cousin's voice. then they do something that might be unexpected witht he original instrumental playing in the background, all three start dancing.

she had chosen the easier chorus dance for them as a group, remembering how daniel had worried that he wouldn't be able to do it. despite that, he had managed just fine, yeji takes the center position, this time when the chorus plays they sing the lyrics to it-- jinyoung and yeji adlibbing over certain parts.

at the end of their performance,all three of them strike a pose as if drinking a shot.

they arrive back in their seats to watch the rest of the performances, yeji finds herself completely seated in the middle of yuri's trio performance. she remembers how she had practically begged the other to apply, look at where she was now. a big smile grew on her face as she watched the rest of the performance, giving the performance two thumbs up.

yeji feels herself daze out for a moment, but is thrown back into it when she sees who is on stage. taeyang, she is always excited about taeyang's performances and this week was no different. she was happy to see how far the male had gotten. when their performance starts she is surprised, her lips shaping into an o as she watches. taeyang is singing, the dance is adjusted. yeji finds herself looking at taeyang and hyojin both for the most part, hyojin because she knew that he wasn't a dancer, much like daniel but taeyang had seemingly adjusted the choreo for the sake of the male. she was sure that if hyojin was a better dancer the performance would have left a bigger impact-- she felt disappointed but it wasn't their fault. hyojin dancing as well, he was doing his best and it showed.

one team yeji was surprised as she watched nakyung, woojin and chaeryeong's performance. all of them were dancers, as far as she knew and as she watched she found herself immersed in their performance, her head bopping to the beat. their performance was impressive, chaeryeong was a strong dancer as was woojin, next to them nakyung kind of fated out. despite that, the performance had left her impressed. then the last performance of the day-- ryujin's team and maybe it was because she got mvp the previous week but yeji had expectations. suwoong and jaemin were on her team this week, it all was set up to be a great performance. the performance starts with ryujin and yeji is charmed by her, wrinkling her nose and smiling at the start. then suwoong starts... rapping? it leaves her confused but then jaemin takes over and the flow is nice, yeji finds herself dancing in her seat again. the song is exciting and powerful-- suwoong's vocals might not be the best for the song but yeji let it slide the energy was there and she really enjoyed their performance.

[jimindiors]

killing me → kjw

i thought i’d be indifferent about breaking up / but there’s one habit of yours that i have / not being able to throw things away / foolishly, these feelings remain / something that feels like regret / opposite from you who is doing great / i’m half dead

pairing: kim jiwon x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1345

warnings: none

a/n: this is the first work i’ll be posting on here so go easy on me! i also wanna say thank you to @boobykim @jiwonthirst & @abobhoe for being so kind and supportive and urging me to post this! <3

Jiwon was sure he would be able to move on and see the sunlight again when she finally gave up on him. The fight they had was explosive — so horrible that Jiwon almost knew there was nothing he could do to ever get her back. And he thought he’d be fine with that.

He stood in the shower, cold water running down his back but him barely feeling the coldness. Nowadays, he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb, it was almost like she had ripped away his ability to feel. He found himself thinking about her day and night. When he rummaged through his drawers and found a small tidbit she’d left behind, he’d practically sink to his knees, wondering why this was hurting him so badly.

Everything reminded him of her. Everytime he’d open up the camera roll on his phone, his sharp eyes would zoom in on the folder of photos he still had saved of her; all of their memories he should’ve long forgotten. It was like he was simply unable to move on, something he hadn’t anticipated at all. Sure, he’d been through a breakup before, but those breakups had never been as hard as this one.

Why was he hurting so damn bad? She was just a girl, wasn’t she? She was just like the other girls he had dated. Nothing was different about her, Jiwon tried to convince himself.

Jiwon took a deep breath as he stared at the one book she had probably forgotten to swipe off his desk when she had come to collect her things — while he was recording at the studio. It was a bloody book. He didn’t even like reading. And he was never going to see her ever again. It wasn’t like he could return it to her. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. The fact that it belonged to her was stopping him from tossing it out. It was silly, ridiculous even, but Jiwon couldn’t help but feel like that was the only thing he had left of her.

He looked away from the book. He wasn’t supposed to hold on. He wasn’t supposed to cling onto her. He was supposed to reach out, grab the book and dispose of it. He was supposed to forget her.

But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many late night conversations he had with Jinhwan and Hanbin and Donghyuk and almost everyone else — even Junhoe — about how he really, really needed to let go of her, delete her from his system, nothing ever left. Not the feelings, not the memories. Nothing left. Everything remained.

The regret kept Jiwon up at night. He stared up at his ceiling, despite not really being able to see it as his room was pitch black. Sometimes he’d reach over to the right side of his bed, hoping to feel her bare skin on his fingertips, but all he felt was the rough, cold material of his bedsheets. Jiwon couldn’t breathe as he sobbed into his pillow. He had never cried over a girl before. It hurt even more when he smelled her scent on his pillow and he realized that she had used his pillow instead of the one she had picked out herself. He realized that she once loved him.

He wondered what happened to them.

“Babe, you really need to throw that away.” Jiwon commented, plopping onto the chair in front of his gaming computer.

She pouted, her hands wrapping around her dark blue shirt as she pulled it to her chest. The colour was practically washed out and Jiwon needed both his hands to count the amount of holes that was in that damn shirt, not to mention the food stains. She looked up at Jiwon, her bottom lip sticking out.

“But I love this shirt,” she protested. “It’s been with me since I was like 11.”

“How do you still fit in that?” Jiwon laughed, shaking his head slightly. “You’re literally in your mid-twenties now.”

She shrugged, fingering the material of the shirt. “I can’t throw it away.”

Jiwon grinned at her bowed head as she stared at her beloved shirt. “Yes, you can,” he replied, sounding utterly fond. “Some things just have to be thrown away, baby. Then you can make space for newer things.”

Jiwon stared at the stupid blue shirt that she loved so much. He was holding it in his hands, clinging onto it, one of the last things he had of her. He wondered if she missed the shirt. She loved the shirt a lot, and Jiwon never really understood why. It was just something she was attached to, she’d never been able to let it go. She was a borderline hoarder, she’d keep things that were tattered and torn, sometimes even almost completely destroyed, claiming they carried ‘memories’. Jiwon would make fun of her, not realizing that a day would come when he felt the exact same way everytime she crossed his mind.

“I saw her just now,” Chanwoo piped up softly, not meeting Jiwon’s eyes as he spoke. “She’s here, in Korea.”

When she and Jiwon broke up, she had taken only a few necessities and flew back to her home, her family and her friends. She had cut off contact with Jiwon, until she returned to Korea to grab the rest of her things. She didn’t speak to him, and he didn’t even know she had come back until he came home from recording and noticed all of her things were gone. That’s when it hit him that it was really over, he had really fucked up this time and he couldn’t take it back, not now, not ever. She had made that clear when she severed ties with him completely, resorting to blocking not only his number but even going as far as to block him on Instagram and even Twitter, an app he didn’t even use all that much. She really wanted to get rid of him, and as much as he hated that, he had to respect her wishes. It was the least he could do after absolutely shattering her heart.

“Yeah?” Jiwon prompted, although his head screamed at him to shut up, sit there quietly and eat his food. “Who was she with?”

He almost didn’t want to hear the answer when Chanwoo’s eyes visibly widened and his lips turned pale. He obviously wasn’t expecting Jiwon’s question, and he clearly didn’t want to answer it because he knew Jiwon wouldn’t necessarily like what he had to say.

“Her best friends. You know them,” Chanwoo said as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, regretting bringing her up at all. “And, uh, this guy. I don’t know his name-“

Jiwon had heard enough. He calmly put his chopsticks down, whispered a ‘thank you’ to Chanwoo for telling him this and stood up, retreating to his room. He felt everyone’s pitiful gazes burning into his back, and he hurried into his room, slamming the door behind him. He pressed his back against his bedroom door and slid down, teeth digging into his bottom lip to suppress his sobs. Nothing stopped the salty tears to roll down his cheeks. Jiwon had never cried so hard before in his life.

But then again, he’d never regretted anything so much in his life than letting go of her. It was the biggest mistake he had ever made. A part of him was empty. Nothing would ever complete him like she did, and he had to live with that for the rest of his damn life because of what he did to her.

Jiwon threw his head back, his hand clutching at his chest as he physically felt his heart ache. A sob slipped past his lips, and he hoped to God none of his friends heard it.

Jiwon was completely and utterly broken. He knew he’d never be able to piece himself back together again. He hoped she took care of the part of him that she had taken with her.

[xforeverweareyoungx]

Let’s Not Fall In Love | Pt. 2

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x ??

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2033

↠ Masterlist | ↠ Ask

↠ Part 1 

The first time you felt your heart ache was when you were five years old. It was another regular day where you and Jungkook would play outside just like any other day, enjoying each others company, laughing and sharing little secrets with each other. Your best friend was always the shy one when you both were younger, constantly seeking for your help whenever he wanted to make new friends or get to now a stranger. So, when the new girl who recently moved to your neighborhood asked if she could join and play with you both, you welcomed her with a big smile and open arms, whereas Jungkook nodded with a shy smile plastered on his young face. Just like that, your friendship that consisted of two people became three, the new girl melting in as if she was there from day one. Yuri was a sweet girl, well behaved and very beautiful. Long curly hair, green eyes, and a stunning smile, which was the reason why your best friend’s innocent, pure heart started beating faster at a very young age. Even though you were young, you weren’t stupid. You could see the shy smiles they were sharing with each other or the way the both tried to find an excuse to go to each others houses and spent some time together, without you. You never made a big deal about it, giving them the space they wanted and staying at home when you were one hundred percent sure that they were at the park nearby, enjoying their time together. From time to time, they would knock on your door and ask if you would like to join them, dragging you out of your house when you would turn their offer down. However you never felt like you were part of their friendship, always feeling left out when they would talk about their secrets or the things they’ve done a few days ago. So, your friendship went on, until one day, you found yourself fighting with Yuri about an unnecessary topic. Growls turned into shouts and shouts turned into physical fighting where you would push each other, both of you lying on the ground with terribly hurting blood covered scratches and wounds on your knees and hands. However, what hurt more was seeing Jungkook running toward Yuri and helping her up, asking if she was okay with those concerned eyes of his as if you weren’t there, lying on the ground as blood dripped down on the hard concrete. Slowly, you stood up and and turned around, limping your way home as tears rolled down your face. To the questions of your mother about what had happened, you answered with a shrug. When she asked the question if anything else was hurting, you looked into her eyes with your tear filled ones and lifted your hand, placing on top of your chest.

You were only five when you felt your heart ache for the first time. And it was caused by none other than your best friend Jeon Jungkook.

“Wait, are they really dating?“

“No way, he would never date someone like her!“

“If it’s real, I swear to God I’ll kill her! How can she steal my crush away from me?!“

“Let’s be real, they look good together. #Goals!“

“Until today, I always thought that Jungkook had feelings for Y/N. Seems like I was wrong.“

Your hand stilled midway as you were closing your locker, the words coming out of the girl’s mouth who was passing you by as she was talking to her friend making your whole body freeze immediately.

So it finally happened. Your biggest fear came true, again..

This would definitely not be the first time you would see your best friend holding a girl’s hand, nor would it be the first time witnessing the way his eyes sparkled whenever he talked about how perfect his girlfriend was.

But this time, it was different. You knew it, you could feel it. The way he looked at her when she first entered the school, the way he gushed about her every single time she walked by or how he would smile whenever he would talk about her. She was different, just like Yuri.

So, the only thing you could do was wrap your hands tightly around your books and take deep breaths as you walked by the people who were looking at you with their curious eyes, talking about how how sorry they felt for you now that your best friend had a new girl by his side other than you.

“Y/N!“

As if you weren’t having a hard time already, you heard the one voice you wanted to avoid for the rest of the day or even week if possible. Quickening your steps, you wrapped your arms even tighter around your books, not even once looking up as you mumbled to yourself quietly. “Don’t cry, Y/N. Not now. Not in front of him.“

“Y/N! Wait!“

Trying to block out your best friend’s voice that was coming from the distance, you walked around the corner only to collide with something, more specifically someone, and voilà, you found yourself sitting on your butt, all your books scattered on the floor.

Immediately, you bowed your head down and apologized without looking up, your shaking hands reaching out for your books as fast as they could as you still mumbled to yourself. “Don’t! You can’t cry now. Hold it in, Y/N!“

Just as you were reaching out for your last book, you saw how the person in front of you reached out for it, the long, slender fingers picking it up and dusting the dirt off of it.

Your eyes still focused on the floor as you tried to prevent the tears from rolling down your face, you reached your hand  out in order to take your book back but immediately panicked when you heard your best friend’s voice for the third time that day, this time even closer than the last two times.

“Hey, are you okay? W-Wait, are you crying-“

Before the stranger could end his sentence, you started running away as fast as your shaky legs could, your book already long forgotten in his hands.

10:21 am

New text message from: Jungkookie

Yah! Where are you?! Why were you running away like that? Did something happen?! Has anyone done something to you?!

Looking up from your phone, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

Ding.

10:23 am

New text message from: Jungkookie

Why aren’t you answering?! Y/N I’m getting worried! Please tell me where you are I will come to you

Trying to ignore the tears in your eyes, you typed back.

10:24 am

Sending message to: Jungkookie

I’m fine, no need to worry, Jungkook-ah :)

10:25 pm

New text message from: Jungkookie

Tell me where you are!

10:27 am

Sending message to: Jungkookie

I’m at our schools rooftop

Before you tapped on send a feeling came over you and you deleted the words you typed, deciding to ignoring his last message. Locking your phone screen, you tucked the device away and took another deep breath. Lifting your head slowly, you looked up at the blue sky, finally letting your tears roll down your face.

Chuckling silently, you mumbled to yourself yet again. “You’re crying again when I told you not to..“, You wiped your tears away, “You can’t even tell him you love him so why are you crying, you stupid girl! You’re nothing more than a best friend!“

Closing your eyes tightly, you repeated the same words over and over again. “You’re nothing more than a best friend to him! Stop crying!“

Placing your hand on your chest, you started punching it lightly as another sob escaped your mouth. “Please stop beating for him, please..I can’t handle it anymore, please..“

No matter how many times you’ve decided to ignore the truth, how much you were scared to face the reality, he was your best friend and you couldn’t run away from him. Not now, not when he was so attached to you..

So, here you were, leaning against the wall in front of your classroom as you waited for your best friend to arrive with the new girl, his new girl. Not longer than five minutes later, you felt two strong arms wrapped around your body, your face tucked into his chest. “I was so worried..“ you heard him mumble as he let out the breath he was holding in, his arms holding you even tighter than before.

Patting his back twice, you smiled slightly so he wouldn’t get even more worried. “I told you that I’m fine.“

Leaning back a little bit, he observed your face as he tucked a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “Are you sure?“

Smiling even wider, you closed your eyes and nodded. The moment you felt his lips on your forehead, the smile vanished from your face, your heart breaking a little bit more.

Patting him one last time on the back, you unwrapped his arms from your body and looked over his shoulder. There she was, as gorgeous as ever, looking at you both with a smile plastered on her face. Walking up to her, you reached your hand out for her and started talking. “Hey, my name is Y/N.“, pointing over your shoulder at Jungkook, you continued. “I’m this dumbhead’s best friend, and believe me, nothing more. So you don’t need to worry about anything-“

Before you could end your sentence, you felt her arms around your body, her bright voice filling your ears. “I’m so glad that I finally got to know you! I’ve heard so many cool things about you! My name is Sana, and I would love to have you as my friend!“

Taken aback by her bright personality, you hugged her back. “M-Me too.“

Just like that, you watched how she walked up to Jungkook, who was now standing beside you, and observed how she intertwined her fingers with his, his grip strong around her fragile fingers.

Right when you wanted to excuse yourself, you heard Jungkook call someone over who’s name you’ve never heard before. When you looked up, you were met with someone you’ve, yet again, never seen before. The stranger, on the other hand, didn’t notice that you where there, only noticing you when you spoke up. “Jungkook, who is this?“

“Y/N, this is-“

Jungkook’s words were interrupted by the stranger. “Oh! You’re cupcake!“

Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned your head over to your best friend, only to see the same confusion plastered on his face.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that we’ve seen each other before.“ you said as you tried to stay polite.

Suddenly, the stranger leaned forward and nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent in as if it was something normal to do. Your whole body froze and you opened your eyes widely, forgetting how to breathe. You felt someone wrap their hand around your wrist and pull you away immediately, the hard surface your back slammed against telling you that it was none other than Jungkook.

Grip tight on your wrist, Jungkook hissed to the stranger. “What do you think you’re doing?!“

The stranger smiled innocently, looking into your eyes with his brown ones. “I was right, you do smell like cupcakes.“

Turning to you, Jungkook hissed again. “Do you know him, Y/N?!“

Still taken aback, you tried to answer. “I-I..“

Then you saw your book in the stranger’s hand. Observing his hands you nodded. “Y-Yes, I do..“

Taking the book from his hand, you watched how he walked away, leaving you and your friends away with an amazed and in Jungkook’s case, frustrated feeling.

“How dare he do something like that?! Just because he’s new here doesn’t mean he can do something like that to you-“

Blocking you best friend’s nagging out from your head, you felt the urge to look inside your book for some reason. Flipping a few pages, you indeed found a post it sticking on page 59 of your book.

“Stop hiding your love behind your tears, Cupcake! It will only destroy you..“

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/michael-che-and-colin-jost-on-snl-hosting-the-emmys-and-hating-twitter/

Michael Che And Colin Jost On 'SNL,' Hosting The Emmys And Hating Twitter

Saturday Night Live head writers and Weekend Update hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che have different attitudes toward co-hosting the Emmy awards Monday night.

Jost admits to being nervous about hosting — especially when he thinks about the show ahead of time: “I’m thinking about it in advance. That’s more nerve racking than when you’re actually out on stage.”

Che, meanwhile, takes a more laid back approach to the show. “You can’t be nervous. It’s comedy,” he says. “If I was a fireman I’d be scared. Firemen should be afraid. … But for comedy, we’re literally going out there and we’re just going to tell some jokes and people are going to like them or not. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

As co-head writers for SNL Jost and Che are used to the high pressure. “Head writer” sounds like a great and lofty title, Che says, but it’s really more of a supervisory role — someone whose job it is to think about the show overall. “We’re competing to get stuff on just like any other writer,” he explains. “You don’t walk around with a big ol’ cigar or anything like that.”

As for what being a head writer means to Jost? He answers: “Great question, we would love someone to explain it to us.”

SNL is up for 21 Emmys — including a the award for outstanding writing for a variety series.

Interview Highlights

On writing the show up to the very last minute

Colin Jost: The first part [of the show] is usually the part that’s figured out last, which is what makes the job stressful.

Michael Che: Because the news cycle is so quick now that what seems relevant Monday probably won’t by Saturday.

Jost: [SNL executive producer] Lorne [Michaels] always talks about how the first 15 minutes of the show are the most important, because if you’re tuning in, that’s your real chance to hook a viewer. The monologue is such a tricky thing always, because you want to show off who this person is, maybe in a way you haven’t seen them before … and the cold open is such a different animal, and that’s constantly shifting. The number of weeks where the cold open and the monologue are both even vaguely figured out before Thursday, it almost never happens. If it does, you just cross your fingers that those will hold up by Saturday.

On what it was like to have Donald Trump host SNL when he was campaigning for president, and whether he would be interested in having Trump back on the show

Che: [It was] working with an unfunny, insecure dude. … For me, I don’t mind anybody being on the show, because I think something good can come out of anything in comedy. But I wouldn’t go for it [again]. … I don’t know what the “win” is. I don’t think people find him funny.

On behind-the-scenes at SNL after the 2016 presidential election with host Dave Chappelle

Jost: The next day when we were there for the table read, [Chappelle] was like, “The reason you’re in comedy is to react to things that are going on and make them funny, to find humor even in whatever’s the weird, darkest things. You have to figure out how to still put on a comedy show, because that’s why you’re doing this.” I think that was just the right motivation for everyone to try to put a show together by Saturday that was still a comedy show, and I think that was reflected in his monologue really well.

Che, on his decision to comment on comedian Louis C.K. returning to the stage after admitting to sexual misconduct

Che: I truly think him going onstage and not addressing anything was insane. I don’t fault the attempt of making it right; I do fault the execution of not making it right. I think everybody has the right to defend themselves. Everybody has the right to take the opportunity to clarify or apologize or make any bad situation right, but when you don’t do it, you can’t — it’s indefensible.

On disliking Twitter — Che deleted his account several years ago

Che: I don’t like Twitter, because no one is as angry as they say they are and no one is as happy as they say they are. It’s just kind of this land of hyperbole. I have a platform. We go on TV and we’re lucky enough to be able to tweet to a camera. It’s not for me. I just don’t like the way it makes people feel. I don’t like the way it makes people gang up on other people — justly or not, it’s just uncomfortable. I don’t like it at all. It’s just a cesspool of everybody just yelling at each other. Anger and extreme joy are the only voices that get heard on Twitter.

Jost: It also used to have a great function, because you’d follow comedians or your friends who were really funny and every time you’d go on you’d see a great joke. … Having Twitter on your phone is like being with a journalist that hates you 24 hours a day. Anything you say on that can be spun. Truly, that’s what you have to think of it as.

Che: It’s like walking around with the district attorney and everything you say is just going to the district attorney.

Heidi Saman and Thea Chaloner produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the Web.

Copyright 2018 Fresh Air. To see more, visit Fresh Air.

TERRY GROSS, HOST:

This is FRESH AIR. I’m Terry Gross. My guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re also preparing to host the Emmys Monday night, and they’re nominated along with “SNL’s” other writers for best writing for a variety series. Last January, they became head writers of “SNL.” Jost had held that position once before but gave it up after becoming an update anchor. “SNL’s” new season begins September 29. Let’s start with a clip from one of last season’s final episodes. Here’s Jost and Che on May 5.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)

COLIN JOST: This Stormy Daniels payment has turned out to be the loudest hush money in history. And during his “Kings Of Dementia” comedy tour, Giuliani…

(LAUGHTER)

JOST: …Giuliani also said that the hush money was, quote, “funneled through a law firm.” Dude, funneled is not typically a word innocent people use when talking about money.

(LAUGHTER)

JOST: No one says, yeah, my grandma funneled me $5 in my birthday card.

(LAUGHTER)

MICHAEL CHE: Rudy Giuliani is claiming that President Trump only learned a week ago that he was reimbursed in Michael Cohen’s payment to Stormy Daniels in $35,000 installments. I have a couple questions.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: Like, what kind of billionaire pays for stuff in installments?

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: You’re the president of the United States. Why are you paying for sex like it’s a NordicTrack?

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: And how did y’all land on $130,000? That’s such an oddly specific number. I asked Stormy to come on “Update” and explain it, but her agent said no because if she’s seen on camera with a black guy, her price goes down.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSS: Colin Jost, Michael Che, welcome back to FRESH AIR. Congratulations on your writing nomination and on hosting. Before we get to other things, I want to talk with you about, regarding the Emmys and “SNL,” you know, I’m thinking as we record this Wednesday afternoon, East Coast time, it’s earlier than that on the West Coast, where you are. There’s a hurricane, like, a catastrophic hurricane, heading toward the Carolinas. And that’s something that you might have to – like, assuming the hurricane is anything like what they’re saying it will be, that’s something you’ll probably have to address at the Emmys. And, you know, it’s really awkward to have a celebration when people are suffering like that. So is that something you’re thinking through? Like, how are you going to deal with it?

JOST: Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, it definitely crossed my mind yesterday. I mean, you never really know what’s going to happen leading up to a big event because you’re planning it for so long and then something could dominate the news that day. But when it’s something that’s a tragedy, again, we don’t know exactly what’s going to happen yet. But the biggest thing, I think, sometimes we face at “SNL” is you want to show as much support as you can. And, you know, you want to use that moment to maybe just actually raise money for people who are there because you have a mouthpiece to tell people, go online, give money. The people in that room have money, generally. And, you know, you hope you can make it a moment just even to get support for those people.

GROSS: So the last time we spoke, Donald Trump was a presidential candidate. He wasn’t the president. It was just, like, days before the election. So the first show after the election, Dave Chappelle hosted. Chris Rock made a guest appearance. A Tribe Called Quest were the music guest. These were all people with, like, strong political points of view. And instead of an opening sketch, the opening was Kate McKinnon dressed as Hillary at the piano singing Leonard Cohen’s song, “Hallelujah.” And she ended it by saying, I’m not giving up, and neither should you. Can you take us behind the scenes a little bit and tell us what it was like, after the president was elected, trying to figure out what the first show of post-election Trump era should be?

JOST: Well, the sort of, like, amazing move from Lorne was that he had offered him that date, like, at the end of that summer. So I think he just sensed that whatever was going to happen in the election was going to be this huge moment, and he wanted to make sure whoever the host was would be someone that could deal with that and who, at that moment, people in America wanted to hear from. And that’s – I mean, Dave is basically the ideal person to do that. So he had the foresight to book that way in advance.

And then that night, you know, the election night was insane because you – I don’t know, I assumed, like, most people probably thought Hillary was going to win. And you were watching the results come in. And, you know, people were having all kinds of reactions around the office. It was very intense. And you’re then trying to write comedy and, you know, not everyone even attempted to write comedy. Some people, understandably, were very upset.

And Dave was the perfect host at that moment because the next day when we were there for the table read, you know, he was just like, the reason you’re in comedy is to react to things that are going on and make them funny, to find humor even in whatever is the weird, darkest things. You have to figure out how to still put on a comedy show ’cause that’s why you’re doing this. And I think that was just the right kind of motivation for everyone to try to put a show together by Saturday that was still a comedy show. And, you know, I think that was reflected in his monologue really well.

GROSS: So you all watched the election results at the office?

JOST: Yeah. I mean, we were there. Tuesday night is our writing night. So we’re basically there all night. You’re mostly there all night until the table read, which is Wednesday afternoon. You kind of go straight through. So normally, it would have been a later start than normal because you’re watching election results roll in. But then it was even more delayed because people were processing what was happening. I mean, it was just very shocking. Whatever – you know, whatever you expected going in, I think it was still shocking.

GROSS: So I’m asking some of these questions ’cause you’re head writers as well as “Update” anchors. Who came up with the idea of Kate McKinnon as Hillary singing “Hallelujah?”

JOST: Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider and Kate had an idea of doing some kind of song. I forget what the original – I think they had a different song originally. But they had the idea of doing something in that vein. But I don’t know if it was just Kate or if it was a whole group from the cast. I forget the original version or original origin of it. And then I know Lorne had thought of “Hallelujah” because Leonard Cohen had just – I think he had just died that week or…

GROSS: That’s right.

JOST: …Before? I forget the exact timing. And I think he just thought that might be a song that would be – that would seem sort of doubly appropriate in some way.

GROSS: So getting back to “Update,” when you do “Update” on Saturday night, it’s really Sunday morning on the East Coast ’cause by the time, you know, you’re on, it’s after midnight. Every late-night comic has done bits on the week’s news. And so, like, you’re kind of, like, late to the game in that respect. So how do you find things that are going to feel fresh at the very, very end of the week or the very beginning of the new week?

CHE: Fortunately, there’s not a lot of people that I think think like me. So I never really have a problem with finding interesting takes because I feel like when you kind of do your own thing, it’s not going to bump. You know? If I have a thought and five other comedians have that same thought then I’d feel like it’s not even worth saying. You know?

GROSS: What’s an example of a joke that you can say that you feel like other comics can’t? Can you think of one?

CHE: Well, nobody else is calling the president a cracker on national TV.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSS: Yeah (laughter). That got you a lot of love.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: Yeah. It sure did.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSS: What kind of reaction were you…

CHE: And also…

GROSS: …Expecting? Yeah. Go ahead. No. I’m kind of being sarcastic. You got it from both sides for that.

CHE: Of course.

GROSS: Yeah.

CHE: But to me, that’s interesting. That’s compelling TV.

GROSS: So…

CHE: ‘Cause there’s a lot of – I think there’s a lot of people that felt that way and was probably thinking it, as well. And I think there’s a lot of people that understood where that emotion was coming from. Sometimes – you know, it’s the same with Kate at the piano. People watching it, and some people liked it. Some people didn’t. But the thing is you believe Kate felt that, and that’s what makes it interesting. So it was honest. You know? It really came from her. It really came from a real place.

GROSS: So – yeah. Go ahead.

JOST: That week, too – I was just remembering, too, that week, I forget if we worked on it later in the week together, Che, too. But on election night, too, then we woke up after the next day or, like, you know, in our office. But I was – Neal Brennan was there, too, working on the show. He’s a writer. He worked with Chappelle on “Chappelle’s Show.” But we wrote a sketch that was in the show that week that was about the election results coming in and people watching and sort of a time lapse of how the night went as the results came in. And we wrote that essentially in response to what was happening in real time in our office that night before because, you know, the discussions were – you know, it was sort of like early joking around. Like, uh-oh, Hillary didn’t win Alabama. I bet – watch out. And then it got to, like, wait; she’s going to lose Michigan. It was like – it was that kind of thing.

And it was perfect for Dave and Chris Rock, who came in and did it, too, later in the week because they were not surprised. They were like, yeah, of course. This is how America’s going to go. And it was – they could play that attitude in the sketch. And it kind of reflected what was actually – what we were all actually figuring out in real time that night.

And I think when we read it at the table on Wednesday, which is, you know, the day after the election obviously. When we read it at the table read, it didn’t even necessarily play that hot because people were also kind of – it was very raw, so no one really wanted to relive what had just happened the night before in sketch form. But then by the – by Saturday, I think people were ready to at least laugh about it even if it was in a cathartic way. And I think that was another one where, like, Dave and Chris were perfect for that kind of – to come in and have that perspective.

CHE: It’s very helpful to have a veteran or legendary comedian like Dave where you kind of – you know, I think one of the things that years in comedy gets you is trust. And people understand how honest you are. And I think it’s a little bit more – it makes people more comfortable when they know that you’re about to speak. And it’s something that we all write toward. And hopefully someday we will create that kind of relationship with the audience.

So coming from other comedians, it might have even been a really, really tough plane to land. But Dave being who he is and people understanding how measured Dave is as a – just as a voice and as a role model I think – coming from him, it worked perfectly because I think people believed it. People said, yeah, I could see that there are people – black people and people of color that seen this happen and was probably like, yep, America’s right on time with this one, you know?

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: I think that was kind of the tone that he was trying to – that was kind of the point. And it was kind of cool to watch because not – like I said, not a lot of shows can get away with that. And not a lot of comedians can get away with that, and so that’s what makes our show special.

GROSS: Well, let’s take a short break here, and then we’ll talk some more. If you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Weekend Update.” They’re head writers on “Saturday Night Live.” And they’re preparing to host the Emmys on Monday. We’ll be right back. This is FRESH AIR.

(SOUNDBITE OF TONY Z’S “IT’S ALL THE SAME”)

GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Weekend Update,” head writers at “Saturday Night Live.” And now they’re preparing to host the Emmys on Monday.

So what is the job of head writer?

JOST: Great question. I mean, we would love someone to explain it to us.

GROSS: (Laughter).

CHE: Yeah, it’s a great title. People think – when they hear head writer, they think, oh, that’s the guy that writes everything and delegates. But it’s really not. It’s really more of kind of a supervisor role. But we’re competing to get stuff on just like any other writer, you know? There’s no – you don’t walk around with a big old cigar or anything like that.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: It’s not like the brochure.

JOST: No, it’s very – and very often, the – some of the time – usually the writers that are – there’s writers that are getting the most on that aren’t the head writer…

CHE: Yeah.

JOST: …Because sometimes as a head writer, you’re stuck in meetings for a while. You’re talking to the host in a different way, or you’re more hearing ideas than you are getting to write your own. So you still definitely contribute as a writer. And part of it I think is sort of trying to lead by example and just write things you think are funny.

And then the other part of it is trying as much as you can to help newer writers if they have an idea that you think could be really funny, and they’re new, so they might not totally know the structure of it or how to cast it or that kind of thing – just to help them with that because that’s what happened to us when we were new. People who are more senior, you know, really looked out and tried to make what we wrote better ’cause otherwise, it’s hard to get things on when you’re new.

CHE: Also, you’re – more so than any other writers, you’re thinking of the entire body of the show. Like, you’re thinking of the cold open. You’re thinking of the monologue. You’re thinking of the first sketch out of monologue. You’re thinking of, you know, what would be interesting, you know, what bumps. And things like that, as a head writer, you kind of have to consider more of the show as a whole as opposed to when you’re a writer, you’re just thinking about your piece and if you have a tag for somebody else’s thing or whatever. But as head writer, you kind of have to think about the entire show more so than…

JOST: In the beginning – the first part is usually the part that’s figured out last…

CHE: Right.

JOST: …Which is what makes the job stressful…

CHE: Right…

JOST: …You know?

CHE: …’Cause the news cycle is so quick now that what seems relevant Monday probably won’t by Saturday.

JOST: Yeah. You know, Lorne always talks about how the first 15 minutes of the show are the most important because that’s when you’re – if you’re tuning in, that’s your real chance to hook a viewer.

CHE: Right.

JOST: The monologue is such a tricky thing always because you want to show off who this person is maybe in a way you haven’t seen them before. And that’s a thing we often have to at least help figure out. And then the cold open is such a different animal, and that’s constantly shifting. And, you know, the number of weeks where the cold open and the monologue are both even vaguely figured out before Thursday – it almost never happens. If it does, you just cross your fingers that those will hold up by Saturday because those are – those feels like a luxury.

GROSS: The cold open is usually where the political sketch is. And if, like, Alec Baldwin is doing Trump, that’s where it is. And usually, like, if Kate McKinnon is doing Jeff Sessions, that’s where it’s going to be. So I can see why that would be kind of last-minute. And speaking of Alec Baldwin, like, do you know if he’s coming back?

JOST: We truly didn’t – someone said to us the other day, oh, you’re coming back as head writers. And we truly – no one ever told us (laughter). So we do not know. We try to just – we, like, try to figure out what we’re doing on our own and then we wait and see. But, you know…

CHE: It’s kind of like being on, like, a playoff team. Like, sometimes you might get 40 minutes. Sometimes you get 10 minutes. You know, sometimes you start, and certain combinations work. So you never really know. It’s more so about, how do we execute the best show? So it’s a weird place of – it’s always in the moment.

GROSS: So what…

CHE: So it’s kind of hard to answer that, you know?

JOST: There’s times you don’t learn about, like – you don’t learn about a new credit or something you’re getting until someone in your family sees it in the scroll at the end of the show.

CHE: Right.

JOST: And you’re like, oh, I guess that kicked in this week or, you know…

GROSS: Did that happen to you?

JOST: You know, you just…

CHE: Well, I didn’t know I had – I didn’t know I was a writer on the show until, like, three weeks after I was a writer on the show.

JOST: What do you mean?

CHE: Well, I remember Seth was like, you know you’re hired for this evening.

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: And I had no idea. I thought I was still – because I came…

JOST: Oh, that’s right.

CHE: …In on a guest contract, so that was, like, week to week. And I was working there for about two weeks. Like, I was already there, and they were like, you know you’re hired, right? Like, you work here.

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: Seth, who was head writer at the time – I had no clue. No one told me. And this was in the middle of a production week.

JOST: It’s not always a great communication place.

CHE: No, yeah.

JOST: But – and part of that is – I mean, it’s really just the velocity of the show sometimes. There’s so many moving pieces that not everyone is told everything all the time. And the reality is we would basically be doing a similar job regardless of what our title was.

CHE: Right.

JOST: Like, we were – when we were added as head writers with Kent and Bryan, or when Chris and Sarah had been head writers, too – like, you’re doing effectively the same job. You’re in most of the same meetings because we’ve been there for a while, and you’re – you would do the same hard work. And you would do the same – you would care in the same way about the show, regardless of what your title is.

GROSS: My guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re also head writers on the show. They’re hosting the Emmys Monday night. Here’s a clip of Che on “Update” from last season’s finale.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)

CHE: A report has found that 86 percent of people arrested in New York for marijuana possession are black or Latino. Well, duh. We’re the only ones they search. That’s like saying the only people that have STDs are the people that take tests for STDs. We’re not the only ones that carry drugs. If cops searched white dudes in cargo shorts as much as they search black dudes in hoodies, prison would look like a Dave Matthews concert.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: You know, people are always talking about needing diversity in Hollywood. You know where we really need diversity? Jail.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: Forget about #OscarsSoWhite. How about prisons is too black…

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: …Colin?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSS: We’ll hear a clip from Colin Jost on “Update” after a break. And we’ll talk more with Colin Jost and Michael Che. I’m Terry Gross, and this is FRESH AIR.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. I’m Terry Gross. Let’s get back to my interview with Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re preparing for the new season, which starts September 29. They’re also preparing to host the Emmys Monday night. They’re nominated, along with “SNL’s” other writers, for best writing for a variety series. Last January, they became head writers of SNL. Jost had held that position before but gave it up after becoming an “Update” anchor. We just heard an excerpt of Che on “Update.” Here’s Jost from last February after President Trump’s first State of the Union address and Trump’s tweets about it.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)

JOST: President Trump also tweeted that he had the highest ratings ever for a State of the Union address, which – get this – wasn’t true.

(LAUGHTER)

JOST: And this time, even Fox News fact-checked on him. You know you’re running your mouth too much when even your hype man is like, yo, that ain’t exactly accurate, though.

(LAUGHTER)

JOST: So sorry.

CHE: That was good.

JOST: Oh, thank you. Then in a new interview, President Trump stated that he is not a feminist. Was he getting accused of that a lot?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSS: Michael Che, one of the things that you’ve said that’s controversial is, you were talking about Louis C.K. doing a set, you know, kind of testing out new material, showing up as a surprise to the audience. And there were a lot of complaints. Like, the public isn’t ready to see Louis C.K. yet. And you tweeted that, you know, he should be able – it wasn’t tweeted. It was on your Instagram.

You said a lot of what I read says that C.K. shouldn’t get to be a famous comedian anymore because to them he’s still winning, isn’t that strange? Meaning, he can be shamed, humiliated, lose millions of dollars, lose all of his projects, lose the respect of a lot of his fans and peers and whatever else that comes with what he did. But since he can still do a comedy set for free at a 200-seat club a year later, it means he got off easy. That’s how coveted fame is.

After the response you got to that – you know, a lot of negative responses to that – how do you feel about what you said?

CHE: I think it was extremely ill-timed. I mean, the thing about when you write anything, you kind of surrender the context and you kind of surrender the way it will be presented to people and how people will – the tone it will take, you know?

So I think if you – you could cleverly make that to seem like a terrible thing. And you can make it seem like what it was, which was just me saying I just think it’s interesting what the power of fame and what the power of stage, how it’s perceived, you know? I just think it’s extremely interesting. And that was like something that was kind of selfishly a thing that came to my head immediately when I read those stories.

GROSS: What do you mean selfishly? Meaning, because you’re famous?

CHE: Well, it’s selfishly because I work in this business. And you realize that you’re extremely lucky to. And people are very, very – it’s a privilege. You know, it really is a privilege to be able to work. It’s a privilege to be able to do this and have a job that you really, really care about and that people love and respect. And they will take it away from you, you know? Whether you like it, they will take it away from you. And they remind you, like, hey, you know we will take this away from you.

And I think that’s kind – that was what I was talking about. I wasn’t really even talking about Louis necessarily. I was using him as an example because it was something that reminded me of, wow, this is kind of a special thing that we get to do. And he could go through whatever he went through, which seems scary as hell, deserved. And people will still say, well, you get to – you still get to do this thing. And that bothers me.

GROSS: I think…

CHE: Them saying that. Not me, obviously.

GROSS: Yeah, I think what’s bothering a lot of women is that if he – he doesn’t seem to have done anything as of yet to change. He said he’s going spend a lot of time just, like, listening and thinking.

CHE: Yeah.

GROSS: And if there’s evidence that he’s changed, he hasn’t presented it yet. And I think that was what was bothering a lot of people.

CHE: Yeah. No.

GROSS: Like, he’s back on stage. But, like, what’s different? What’s changed?

CHE: None. You know what? And I’ll – it is so crazy because I was just talking about this with somebody. But that’s kind of – I don’t agree. I don’t disagree with any of that. Like, I truly think him going on stage and not addressing anything was insane, you know? And I don’t fault that he – I don’t fault the attempt of making it right. I do fault the execution of not making it right, if that makes sense. You know, like I think – I think everybody has the right to defend themselves. Everybody has the right to take the opportunity to clarify or apologize or make any bad situation right. But when you don’t do it, you can’t – it’s indefensible. You know, like what can you say? And I think that he missed a big opportunity to make that right.

GROSS: So is this – Michael Che, is this one of the reasons why you’re not on Twitter anymore? What we were talking about was Instagram. But still, is this – is this…

CHE: I don’t like Twitter because it’s – yeah, it’s – no one’s as angry as they say they are. No one’s as happy as they say they are.

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: It’s just kind of this land of hyperbole that I don’t – I have a platform. Like, I have – we go on TV. And we’re lucky enough to be able to tweet to a camera and speak. So it’s not for me. I just don’t like – I don’t like the way it makes people feel. I don’t like the way it makes people gang up on other people.

Justly or not, it’s just uncomfortable. It’s – I don’t like it at all. It’s just a cesspool of everybody just yelling at each other. And the anger and – anger and, like – and I don’t know what the opposite of anger is, but I’ve never experienced it.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: Anger. Anger and the opposite.

JOST: Peace. Joy. I don’t know.

CHE: Anger and extreme joy are the only voices that get heard on Twitter, you know?

GROSS: One thing I have to say is that if you’re following terrific journalists on Twitter, you get the news really quickly. You get links to great articles really quick.

JOST: Yeah.

GROSS: Like, that’s a terrific function that Twitter serves.

JOST: Well, it also used to be – it also used to have a great function because you’d follow comedians or your friends who are really funny. And every time you go on, you’d see like a great joke. You know, and it was…

CHE: Everybody is just so scared to death on there, man.

JOST: Yeah.

CHE: It’s a – I don’t know, Terry. We got to – we have to talk about this more.

GROSS: (Laughter).

CHE: I’m going to get you off Twitter.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: It’s just – it doesn’t make sense.

JOST: Yeah.

CHE: It really doesn’t.

GROSS: I don’t tweet. I just read good journalists. And…

CHE: And you know why?

JOST: It’s lost that…

CHE: And why don’t you tweet?

JOST: Yeah.

CHE: And why don’t you tweet? Because you know that if you say one thing just in the heat of…

GROSS: You know why I don’t tweet?

CHE: Yes, please.

GROSS: There are several reasons. One is I would be writing a tweet and then I’d be thinking, let me think, let me sleep on that – and then edit it in the morning.

CHE: Yes. Right.

GROSS: And that’s not the spirit of Twitter. And I don’t have the time. I spend so much time working on the show.

CHE: Right.

GROSS: Tweeting would just be another assignment. It would just be more work. So I like reading journalists. I like reading comics. But I don’t want to tweet.

CHE: You’re one – and I totally agree with you. It’s like you have to think of it as if – this has to be able to stand up when I don’t have control of it anymore. This statement – it’s in black and white.

JOST: It’s a full press release.

CHE: It’s a press release.

JOST: Anything that used to be authentic.

CHE: You’re just doing mini press releases on something that you thought about for 30 seconds. But the crazy part is it lulls you into thinking, oh, this is just an interaction. This is a casual conversation. And then next thing you know, you’re held to that forever. Like, if you said this one thing, that means that’s what you believe. Ten years from now, if you want to run for president, but wait a minute – you believe this thing because you said it in 2009.

JOST: Right (laughter).

CHE: And people don’t want to hear anything else. There’s no – it’s insane that people base articles on this. They base what jobs you should be able to have based on something you said flippantly in a conversation getting the news as it was happening.

JOST: Having a…

CHE: It’s just an insane responsibility.

JOST: Having Twitter on your phone is like being with a journalist that hates you 24 hours a day.

GROSS: (Laughter).

CHE: Yeah, seriously.

JOST: Anything you say will – on that can be spun. I mean, truly that’s what you have to think of it as.

CHE: Yeah. It’s like walking around with the district attorney, and everything you say is just going to the district attorney.

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: And you’re like, why am I doing this?

GROSS: I see you both have very strong feelings about this. Let me reintroduce you. If you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Weekend Update,” head writers of “Saturday Night Live.” And they’re now preparing to host the Emmys Monday. We’ll be right back. This is FRESH AIR.

(SOUNDBITE OF THE INTERNET SONG, “STAY THE NIGHT”)

GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you’re just joining us, my guests are Michael Che and Colin Jost, the anchors of “Weekend Update.” They’re also head writers of “Saturday Night Live.” And Monday they’ll be hosting the Emmys.

So it was very controversial when “Saturday Night Live” had Donald Trump – candidate Trump guest hosting the show. And you were doing Update back then. And we talked about that a little bit the last time you were on. But…

JOST: Right, right.

GROSS: And there were protests and everything that you were having him on. Would you have President Trump on the show?

CHE: I mean, to me, I don’t mind anybody being on the show because I think something good can come out of anything in comedy, you know? But I wouldn’t go for it. I don’t know what the win is. Like, I don’t think people find him funny.

GROSS: What was it like to work with him before he became president?

CHE: It was like working with any unfunny, insecure dude, you know, just like a – you know?

JOST: No.

CHE: That’s another thing. Like, when you see him as a human and then he’s in this kind of larger-than-life chair, it kind of – I don’t know.

GROSS: Michael, you said that when Trump was on the show during his candidacy, that he seemed insecure. What made him seem that way?

CHE: Well, most people are insecure when they come on our show just because it’s a scary thing to do. You know, it’s very hard to be on live TV. It’s very hard to be around so much – a very talented cast that’s used to it, and you kind of got to keep up with them. And the speed of the show is very intimidating. And I think it humanizes a lot of people. It humanizes most people that host the show, so – and also, you always think you’re funny until you’re in front of an audience, you know, especially an audience that’s not necessarily your audience.

GROSS: But did he do particularly things that made him seem insecure?

CHE: There’s always a code of we know how hard the job is, so, you know, it’s almost doctor-patient privilege…

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: …When you host the show.

GROSS: Sure.

JOST: It’s HIPAA.

CHE: Yeah. It’s kind of that where we don’t kind of, you know, spill everybody’s tea, as the kids say.

GROSS: So I want to ask you about the Mother’s Day show when each cast member’s mother comes out and talks about their child, who’s the cast member, except for Michael Che’s mother. So on Update, Melissa McCarthy, playing your stepmother…

CHE: (Laughter).

GROSS: …Comes out wearing this, like…

JOST: (Laughter).

GROSS: …Pink T-shirt that says, like, world’s proudest stepmother on it – or stepmom. And so I hope it’s not putting you too much on the spot to ask. How come your mother wasn’t there?

CHE: My mother doesn’t really like cameras. She doesn’t even like still photos. So it was kind of hard to get her to sign up for live TV. And it’s – to me, it’s mind-boggling with anybody. Just – I know how nerve-wracking it is for us as professionals to be up there on home base. But for someone that’s not even a professional comedian to be like, sure, I’ll do that for Mother’s Day and try to land a joke, it’s kind of cool to see. And it was a lot of great moments. But my mother just doesn’t like, really, like, TV and cameras. But turns out Melissa McCarthy is a much better comedian than my mother…

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: …Is what I’m trying to say. Who knew?

GROSS: Would you describe the sketch – because it’s too visual to just, like, play the audio.

CHE: Melissa McCarthy comes out as my mother on Update. And she’s very, very, very motherly. She’s wiping crust off my face. And she’s a little bit smothering. And she’s extremely supportive. And it’s a little annoying. But also it’s my mom, so it’s very – it’s pretty close to my actual relationship with my mother probably.

GROSS: Seriously?

JOST: If I could brag about Michael’s acting in it, I thought he was especially good playing opposite Melissa. And I thought it was – he played it in a…

CHE: Well…

JOST: …Very real way that you would want to try to keep on the positive side of it while also being annoyed by it.

CHE: You know, I’m not even going to let anybody give me credit for that. It’s Melissa McCarthy flying, so you just sit. It’s like everything’s better with bacon. Everybody’s funnier with Melissa McCarthy…

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: …Doing the heavy lifting, so I’m just sitting there watching most of the time.

GROSS: So I think it’s interesting how comedy is changing in the sense that, like, there were so many comics for so many years – and maybe there still is at comedy clubs – telling, like, sexist jokes about sex and about women. And I think – I hope that it’s more difficult to do that now.

CHE: Well, I think it’s hard to – being in comedy is kind of hard ’cause, like, I’m exposed to so much comedy. And most of the country and most of the world knows maybe five to ten stand-up comedians, so – and they base all of stand-up – of the thousands of stand-up, they base everything based on, you know, who’s popular at the time. And it’s usually only five or 10 guys that are extremely popular and crossover mainstream.

But as somebody that works in comedy, I think for years – and even studying comedy as a kid, like, there’s always going to be jokes that was funny 20 years ago that won’t be acceptable years later. I mean, as a black person, you know, there’s stuff that doesn’t fly – you know what I mean? – that would have. There used to be comedians that came out in blackface that was white, you know? Like, that’s completely not acceptable anymore.

And I think that’s always going to be the case. More people – especially now that media is so much bigger and more people have voices, they can say, look; even with the Louis situation – like, yeah, Louis can go out there. But also, people have the right to come out and say, you know what? We don’t want to see and we don’t want to support anybody that supports him. And that’s your right, too. And I think that’s you know, that’s something – as a performer, you have to deal with people can reject you. Just the way you can comment on everybody, they can comment on you. And that’s the way it is, you know? You kind of got to take what you get from that.

GROSS: So…

JOST: And there’s two things – there’s two elements to anything like that is – one is, how does it fly among your peers? You know, if someone’s a comedian and they’re doing jokes like that now, it’s not even your peers – your peers would probably just be like, why? (Scoffing) Like, what? That doesn’t seem, like, well, I mean, they might not even say that to you. They might just not really want to hang out with you or really think that that was a great – whatever, you know. That’s part of it. And the other is just audience.

GROSS: So I think I need to let you go and get back to preparing for the Emmys. Just a question – are you nervous?

CHE: No.

GROSS: (Laughter).

JOST: I was going to say yes.

CHE: No. It’s not – you can’t be nervous. It’s just – it’s comedy. It’s, like, literally comedy. Even if it’s bad, that’s pretty funny too.

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: Worst-case scenario – it’s terrible, and it’s funny that it’s so bad. So it’s – you know, it’s nothing to be afraid of. Nobody – like, this isn’t a real – this isn’t a real job, you know?

JOST: That’s a good – I didn’t really think about…

CHE: If I was a fireman, I’d be…

JOST: (Laughter).

CHE: …I mean, firemen should be afraid.

JOST: I’d be very nervous.

CHE: Brain surgeons – but, like, for comedy, we’re literally going out there, and we’re just going to tell some jokes. And people are going to like them or not. But it’s nothing to be afraid of.

GROSS: Colin, you have…

JOST: Well, thank you. This is actually a good…

GROSS: …Fireman in your family.

JOST: I do.

GROSS: Do you see it that way, too – that, like, fire is something to be afraid of? Comedy isn’t worth getting really…

JOST: Well…

GROSS: …Worried about because it’s just comedy?

JOST: …Certainly, fire is a lot – (laughter) – a lot scarier. Yeah, as the first, basically, non-hero in my family…

GROSS: (Laughter).

JOST: …It’s – I don’t – no, I get nervous because I’m more nervous leading up to it than I am…

GROSS: Because you have higher standards than Michael Che has.

JOST: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

CHE: I don’t have high standards at all, man. This is back-of-the-classroom humor. I’m throwing spitballs at everybody. I could care less, you know? What’s there to be afraid of?

JOST: I get nervous more when I’m not – when it’s not in front of me. When I’m thinking about it in advance, that’s more nerve wracking than when you’re actually out on stage and you’re feeling. Then you know what it’s like to be on stage, and then that feels a lot more liberating. It’s more the lead up to it where – I don’t know – having not actually gone through it before, where that’s more nerve wracking for me. But I would still take it over fires.

GROSS: Good luck to both of you. Thank you so much for coming back on our show. I really enjoyed it. And…

JOST: Thank you for having us.

GROSS: Yeah, my pleasure. Good luck on Monday.

Colin Jost and Michael Che are the anchors of “SNL’s” “Weekend Update” and are head writers on the show. Monday night, they’ll host the Emmys, which will be broadcast on NBC. After we take a short break, David Bianculli will review the new Hulu drama series “The First,” starring Sean Penn. This is FRESH AIR.

(SOUNDBITE OF JAMES HUNTER SONG, “I’LL WALK AWAY”) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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