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haunted-kitty · 1 year

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hi systems of tumblr i need Help. i am a questioning system and i have been for a long while now and idfk what to do or think anymore

i cannot talk to any sort of therapist / psychologist about this, so please give me any assistance you can even if its just "this sounds like ____" / "this relate to this and i have ___" / ANYTHING please

warning i dump some of my trauma here but i also put red text that just gives a summary without heavy desc so you can skip the description if you dont want to be triggered or upset.

tw child abuse, mentions of death / injury

basic info about me that may or may not relate

- i am a minor with cptsd & autism

- i have a Lot of repetitive trauma. like i dont wanna traumadump it all rn but a Lot.

- i am disabled

- all my older relatives are all shitty people which i cannot ask for help with this. all my younger relatatives would not be able to help. there is no one who i trust enough to help me with this So hiiii anon tumblr blog here i am

-i have not wanted to live for as long as i can remember [and i can remember very far back].

- i had a lot of periods in my childhood where i go Blank for a while, like, memory wise. i would "wake up" somewhere else the middle of an action and have no idea what was going on or why i was there. or felt out of control of my body, i dont know if this has lessened or if i have just grown used to the feeling if that makes sense

- i am psychotic. i have been since i was little and i know how to deal with it now and do not have any Serious delusions or hallucinations anymore

-ive been questioning whether or not im a system for a Long while now but i never get far with it because i literally cannot figure myself out.

- i do not feel i have a real personality

- i dissociated a Lot in childhood and even now.

- i feel like shit went Wrong when i was meant to develop into a normal person and i am now fundamentally fucked

- i have done a Lot of research of osdd/did [and disorders in general] on and off for some years and have never found a conclusion for myself Help me

trauma dump about my experience with possible alter - scroll to red text if you are triggered by: religious trauma, suicide mention / suicidal thoughts

when i was a child [this is abt when i was around 8] i was heavily in denial about the fact that i wanted to die.

i knew my parents [abusive] would react Badly and also i was religious and raised to believe i would burn in hell for it so i just Refused to admit that i hated living.

one day i saw it on the news with my parents [it was some headline like "suicide rates rising" or sum idfk sorry] and my mother said "who would be crazy enough to try and kill themselves" and she wanted an answer back so i said "haha yeah..." and i heard a voice behind me [like Right in my ear behind me] say "you would" [as in you would be crazy enough]

this was not an auditory hallucination. i did not have voice hallucinations at the age and it was extremely different to anything i have ever experienced.

and i was fucking terrified cause as previously mentioned i was raised religious and thought this was a demon trying to tempt me into sin and holy fuck there was a creepy girl whispering my deepest darkest most sinful of secrets in my ears

the voice whispered more into my ear about my inner workings and thoughts and stuff i was in denial of

i have no clue if this makes sense but when i heard its voice i saw like a Flash of info about it. like when you suddenly remember something and the whole memory just Vwoops into your brain? some physical traits and some personality traits, along with the fact that this thing Knows me deeply and knows everything about me?

i looked behind me and asked my mother if she said anything and she said no and gave me a weird look.

i never mentioned anything to anyone because i was convinced they would hurt me if i did.

i felt its presence in the back of my mind [it didnt speak often but even when silent i could feel its presence like the way you know when someones staring at you].

i kept refusing it and saying i did not want it and ignoring it everytime possible and eventually i felt it fade [not the right word but idk wtf to say. it went In or it just disapeared or something]. i felt kind of at a loss when it happened cause i didnt know what to do.

i considered the idea that it was trying to help me but even if it was i had no clue what it was.

TLDR: 8ish yrs old. i was in denial about my mental issues. i heard a voice in my ear very clearly wording out my mental issues in a way i could not. freaked the fuck out and ignored it even though i felt its presence for like a month and eventually i stopped feeling it there. no clue what that was

i told a system blog this experience once and they suggested that i look into bpd & aspd and that they dont know what to say as theyd never heard of something like that happening so young before

since then i have been never heard the voice behind me or any other solid voice. i dont know if it was an alter who went dormant or just some weird dream or hallucination or what.

i ignored it for all my childhood because i was scared. at some point a few years ago [covid times] i felt something similar again, not a voice but Something and i felt the immense need to try and figure it out. i did a Lot of work and all i could figure out was that voice probably Was trying to help me in some way. i was heavily in denial about most of my trauma and mental illness until like a few years ago because my family basically cult brainwashed me Haha.

also also i have had a lot of times where i have not felt Myself but have also still been there. its hard to word but i was still There watching myself do things and if i Really wanted i could try and stop my body from moving but like.... I didnt feel like i was Alone in my brain if that makes sense??? bru idk its that Feeling that someone else is there thing again.

trauma dump warning if you are triggered by: phys abuse [by father] mention, desc of me fearing my abuser would kill me scroll to red text

a time like this that stands out a lot is when i was younger [9+ -14] and my dad had just hit me and yelled at me and he pushed me down and i nearly hit my head on the stone kitchen counter but i just missed it and i was struck with this horrible fear because what would have happened if i did hit my head? i would probably be seriously injured. ive hurt myself on there before and it wasnt even that bad then but i still needed to go to the hospital. would i have died if i hit my head then? is he going to kill me now? and i was filled with so much fear i couldnt move and i had no idea how i would get out of this. i was literally backed into a corner. i completely spaced out.

i felt myself kinda Snap back in my mind for a second like idk how to phrase it but my mind Changed and all of a sudden i had a clear plan like Streamlined to my head and all emotion and desires other than SURVIVE were pushed out And like i felt So out of it and disorientated and ouguhhhhh felt weird bru idk how to word this shit was Odd and moving my body felt weird.

i saw myself run upstairs and check for injuries and try to clean up nd fix body but i did not feel like i was moving ??? like i was Out Of It and my body was just taking care of itself and i was just There like what is happening. OH I SORT OF HEARD A VOICE AGAIN HERE BUT IT WAS MORE LIKE. sudden dominant thought than voice in my ear voice. it was just telling me what to do and questioning if i had bandaids in my room.

TLDR: a time that stands out is when i was younger [9>14], i was being abused and nearly had a serious injury which i slimly avoided and was frozen with fear and spaced out. i suddenly felt myself snap back into place, disorientated and completely Weird, and felt thoughts [a plan to get out] that were not mine. i did not feel fully in control of my body and like i was being fed another persons thoughts as i saw my body tried to help itself. i felt like another persons thoughts were dominating over mine and all in all Strange.

anyway i kinda got back into myself after i was mostly taken care of but i was still Not Fully There if that makes sense??? like i still wasnt responding or thinking or talking or moving ANYTHING like what i usually do and i was aware of this and i was really confused about it and what was going on

sorry if this is worded wrong i wrote most of this late at night and again im autistic and get misinterpreted a lot and also my memory is kinda fucked up

anyways if anyone could could shed any light on this in literally anyway you could i would be super grateful.

ALSO if you think this is some form of osdd/did/plural thing Please tell me how to speak to the people in my head cause idk its weird like this i would like to know what is happening in there and not feel like im suddenly being possessed or like im insane

#questioning system #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd #system #did osdd #osdd system #did system #system help #plurality #dear GOD please show up in the tags #sorry if im using the wrong tags or terms or anything #im not used to tumblr

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salsakiyoomi · 10 months

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GAHHH OH MY GOD OKAY OKAY first of all holy smokes I love the theme on your blog so much it's so cool and the red is just,,, chefs kiss oh man💗💗🥹!!

OKAY AJAJA would it be alright if I asked for a matchup for Spiderverse (either of the other fandoms work if they're easier/more fun to work with!! I love all of the fandoms there as well ajajja) :O??<3 please take as long as you need with it!!💗🙏

my persona:

name: ellie :D

personality: ENFP/ENTP (but E and I are bound to change depending on how I'm feeling while taking the test BWAHSHSHD so here's another description!!): I'm a generally optimistic person with the sense of humor of an eight year old boy. I will laugh at your mom jokes and then apologize and then make another one😭 I enjoy helping people and creating things, but I do tend to question my morals a lot and wonder why I am helping those people !! I really like the idea of self-improvement and knowing there's always room for more :D reminders are always great too because I forget a lot of things SJDBSJSJHS

zodiac sign: aries!

ideal type: i'm okay with being paired with any gender, no preference! i'm also a minor/highschool student if that helps at all :D (i'm totally on board with platonic matchups as well, i'm unlabeled so for me i can roll along w just about anything!! whatever is easiest GAARAHH). i really admire people who are kind at heart, it doesn't matter how they show it :D i admire people who are humble but not meek, and are willing to speak their minds when it feels right to them OH MAN and I also love people who i can go on and have deep talks with them and fall asleep next to them giggling like im 7 years old at a sleepover every night. OH AJDJSJ and I also love watching shows meant For Literal Children/cartoons because I find them genuinely hilarious and the lessons are always so good 😭🙏 creativity is important to me as well + education for passions :D my giving love language is words of affirmation and physical touch, and my main receiving is acts of service and physical touch! :D

my favorite trope: SHDHDJDJ FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY or any forms of domestic fluff!! 💗💗(sharing a bed and hurt/comfort and being held after a nightmare is my JAM BWAHHS)

favorite season: autumn :)))

hobbies: I absolutely love biology/biomed/environmental science :D! I love going to aquariums and (art) museums and learning about my passions. i definitely want to work at an aquarium as one of those people who give tours to the 3rd graders one day 🥰🙏 I also love listening to instrumental scores from movies!! (I CRIED OVER THE ONES FROM ATSV I AM UNWELL) how to train your dragon and big hero 6 are definitely up there as a few of my favorites :D oh man I also love performing and doing musical theatre for the sake of the community WAHHHSJ,, I love art and writing even though I can get pretty bad writer's block AND OH MAN I love tutoring a lot and going on bike rides when I'm alone !! I love hanging out w people but I also value my alone time as well, and soMETIMES (I AM WORKING ON IT SJXJSJ) I tend to become a doormat where i can't say no and worry about how I am in public places (bUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING PRESENTATIONS WHICH I FIND HILARIOUS SJXNSKJD), but again I SWEAR I am working on it !! =D💗

and the fandom for spider verse would be great :D!! but again anything else is totally okay!!!

OKAHXHSJD IM SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH PLEASE DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUt ABOUT IT I ALSO THINK YOUR WRITING IS VERY NEAT AND I LIKE IT VERY MUCH AND I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO READ MORE BECAUSE THE STARS W AKAASHI MADE ME MELT. okay that is all have a wonderful day!!! 😭🙏🙏🙏💗💗 take good care of yourself and make sure to sleep well :D!

HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : HOBIE BROWN

— honeymoon :

– hobie thinks it's a little funny, honestly, how things turned out with you — the two of you are almost polar opposites, but you know what they say ; opposites attract, and you were his missing puzzle piece — hobie didn't like labels, but there was no denying that he certainly had a thing for you, and you couldn't deny that you liked him either, so you settled in middle ground.

– hobie would come to your place every night — that's how it started, you'd watch a movie or two and once the clock strikes midnight, you find yourself laying in bed with him, huddled up in his arms with your head resting on his chest and his face buried in your hair, the two of you talk about alot of stuff, jumping from one topic to another about completely unrelated things — he likes listening to you talk, likes the sound of your voice and how it immediately soothes him into a good mood — but once the clock nears five am, and you start mumbling and tripping on your words and your eyelids become heavy, he places a soft kiss on your lips, telling you it's time for bed before holding you close and the two of you eventually fall asleep.

– hobie has a knack to convincing you to do things you wouldn't usually do, like going out with him at three am on a supposed 'date' where he takes you to one of the city's highest rooftops with a couple of snacks and the radio playing your favourite songs, he likes to draw and often brings his sketchbook to those dates, so the two of you doodle on the pages, slapping stickers on them and creating a perpetual memory, and he thinks — actually, believes, that no matter what, he'd never forget you, and he has reached a conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he may be in love with you.

— what's on the radio : moonlight, kali uchis

a/n : hello??? kirishimas-manly-eyeliner ?? 😭😭 i used to follow you, i loved your blog sm and you were legit one of my inspirations to write 😭😭 i didn't know you were aware of my blog holy shit, i love you so much 😭 thank you for the request and your ask was so much fun to read like shejwkwk, you're such a nice person help 😭 thank you sm for the request again, ily — also atsv was so good, i cried alot during the moving so you aren't alone, and i loved hobie's animation ! i loved the way they colored him and how he looked like he was out of a panel and the way he changed colors (??) it was so good, he's one of my faves pls 😭 i hope this did you justice and that you like it ! once again thank you sm for the request <33

#bro your old blog was elite i loved it sm #your posts always popped up on my dash and they always made me laugh like sheiejekso #youre an inspiration my man #you have such good vibes too ily #honeymoon match up event #1k event matchup #1k milestone #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv hobie brown #atsv headcanons #atsv matchups

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skullgirls-central · 7 months

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Welcome one and all to the grand opening of Skullgirls Central!

Greetings everyone and welcome to your new one stop shop for all things skullgirls hype! My name is Mort, and i think some introductions are in order. (scroll down to the red txt for TLDR) "SO, just what exactly is "skullgirls central" anyway?" Well my friends that is an EXCELLENT question, one i am more than happy to answer. Skullgirls Central is meant to be a place that spreads love and positivity among the skullgirls community as well as be a place to show off other peoples art, creativity, and love for out beloved fighting game. However its more than just that, its a place of positivity for ALL aspects of the skullgirl community both sfw and nsfw! Do you want to talk about your love for parasoul x valentine or any other skullgirl ships? your in the right place! want to go on and on about how cerebella is your wife or any of the other characters you may love? you found the perfect place then! Do you want to talk about your more Saucy ideas relating to skullgirls? well my friend this place is more than welcoming to all your more naughty thoughts (with me properly tagging of course). But this place is more than just reblogging other peoples posts and answering asks, no no my friends this is where i will also be sharing my OWN passion for the game and characters as well as flexing my writing skills. Thats right, you can make requests and i will do my best to write them. Things like "X Reader" imagines/ficlets as well as imagines for various characters shipped together. im happy to give you all the fun bit of fuel you all need for this lovely lovely game (i will have a note in blog description if i am taking requests). And who knows, may even share a few bits of my own artwork i make relating to skullgirls (im no picasso but i do my best) Now before we get the show started i need to do some disclaimers (yeah yeah i know way to bring down the mood but i need to get these out of the way). Due to the nature of Skullgirls itself as well as the variety of content you cant find on here, this blog will have both sfw and nsfw content on it and so no minors allowed. Next thing being this is a place of POSITIVITY! there will be no negativity and hate on this blog. I will not be accepting anyone showing negativity and being mean to others over anything. This includes ships, art, asks, feelings etc etc. this is a positive place and if you do not like it then please keep it to yourself or leave, simple as that. we are all here to have fun and fun we shall have! TLDR FOR ALL OF YOU WHO SIMPLY WANT SPARKNOTES . This is a blog where i will be reblogging skull girls art, writing, etc etc . This blog will also be a place to talk about ships, love for characters, confessions regarding characters and anything people have to talk about relating to skullgirls. . I will also be taking requests for imagines and scenarios and other things (i will post if requests are open or not) . This blog is sfw AND nsfw and so no minors please. .This blog is focused on positivity and any negativity or being mean to other people is not tolerated. harassment towards people regarding anything will not be tolerated. do not like something, please leave. Now that the technical parts of this are finished, lets have some fun! welcome everyone!

#skullgirls #skullgirls 2nd encore

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theworldofotps · 1 year

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I posted 7,665 times in 2022

1,163 posts created (15%)

6,502 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@retro-rezz-the-est

@codchrist89

@thiccc-rider-mcintyre

@jazzy-tzw

@peppermintquartz

I tagged 2,490 of my posts in 2022

#raw lb - 185 posts

#finn bálor - 155 posts

#roman reigns - 153 posts

#seth rollins - 145 posts

#wwe - 131 posts

#smackdown lb - 123 posts

#drew mcintyre - 111 posts

#damian priest - 93 posts

#trevor wagner - 92 posts

#theworldofotpsasks - 75 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#your thirst posts are some of my favorites and i adore how much you love and appreciate all those special people you’ve met on here

My Top Posts in 2022:

He really captioned it ‘this place was nuts🥜’

His poor crotch😂

214 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

This fool has my heart 😂🖤

223 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Are These Cute? (Drabble Part One)

Pairing: Rhea Ripley x Reader Word Count: 763 Description: Rhea is given the chance to help y/n with a interesting problem.

Part Two

Huge thanks to @omg-im-such-a-masochist for helping me settle on an idea and @damnnhausen for answering questions I had xx

Also my first proper Rhea fic so I hope I did her justice ______ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @damnnhausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @letsgivethisonemoreshot @mcreignsera @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @cuzimacomedian @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @melblacc @alliwant456 @elevennbloom If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______

“What plans do you have today?”

Looking up from her coffee Rhea smiles at Damian shrugging.

“I’ll probably just hang out in my room or maybe text y/n see if she wants to hang out.”

Ignoring his smirk, Rhea shoved his shoulder as she finished her breakfast.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what? I just looked at you. I can't help it that you’re thinking that I meant something.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“I just don’t see why you don’t tell y/n you have the hots for her. I think she’d be flattered and may even feel the same way.”

“We don’t know if she likes me that way so I’m not going to tell her anything. Don’t worry about it D, I’m happy with just being friends.”

Rhea is thankfully saved from any further questions when his phone rings. Waving as he walks off to answer it, Rhea takes her drink and heads back to her hotel room. Sitting on the bed scrolling through her phone Rhea can’t help but think about what Damian said. Maybe she should tell you, but the fear of your reaction being one of disgust kept her from saying anything.

“Speak of the devil and she shall appear.”

Rhea reaches over to grab her phone when your ringtone goes off, shaking her head at the swirl in her stomach she clicks the message.

Y/n/n⚰️🖤: Rheaaaaaa

Goth Wife💋🖤: Whaaaaat?

Y/n/n⚰️🖤: I’m bored entertain me plz

Goth wife💋🖤: What are you doing?

Y/n/n⚰️🖤: Well I just got back from shopping

Y/n/n⚰️🖤: I got some new undergarments and I’m trying to decide if they’re cute or not

Rhea rereads the message and rubs a hand over her face.

Goth Wife💋🖤: Why buy them if you weren’t sure about them being cute?

Y/n/n⚰️🖤: Just second-guessing myself is all :/

Goth Wife💋🖤: I’m sure they’re fine mate don’t stress so much about it

Goth Wife💋🖤: And if it’s really bugging you ask one of the girls to give their opinion or something

Y/n/n⚰️🖤 is typing…

Watching the bubbles Rhea gets up going to the fridge to grab a water bottle, she knew how much y/n liked feeling confident in what she wore. Picking her phone up as she sips her drink she chokes when she reads over the reply.

See the full post

245 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

God Mode 🔥🖤

📸 credit: Kimberlasskick

249 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

265 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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jesuisici33 · 1 year

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5, 4, 3, 2, 1

technically wasn't tagged but a couple of mutuals said if i hadn't been tagged to count myself tagged when they did this so here i go!

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works you're most proud of

Clandestine Meetings: my first fic in the fandom (and a smutty one lol) i wrote this because i was feeling frustrated that at the time there weren't a lot of pwps that i wanted to read so i did what every writer did and wrote one myself. and thus began my schitt's creek fanfic writer journey!

Sunshine: a little drabble about the first time patrick calls david sunshine. i found it kinda weird that the show did this one off pet name patrick gave for david in one episode and then kind of dropped it unlike with david's honeys for patrick and i wanted to figure out that sunshine came to be and this is what happened

Drabble Life 2022: i loved doing these fun challenges every week and each time i got more and more into the character's voices so it was a win-win for me

A Lesson In Flirting: okay who doesn't love dumb, oblivious patrick? writing this 5+1 fic was a blast and having it been inspired and gifting it to @smallumbrella369 was even greater

Public Relations: okay, i know it's not completed yet, but i'm super proud to know that i can write an actual multichapter fic with a plot i find that amazing of me. also im super proud of making a trope slightly original (a fake dating that's actually fake dating and both of the fake daters falling in love with other people? come one who wouldn't want to read that?) so yeah, this one takes the cake

4 current wips:

my main focuses in my google docs are:

i have a hair salon owner david wip

a jewelry thief patrick wip

a lovers-exes-lovers wip based on noah reid's two songs never gonna get my love and false alarms that i lovingly call my richasshole!patrick au

and i have a kevin from work au that i have a rough idea of

3 biggest improvements in my writing:

so i've only started writing again this year so i think my improvements are kinda small but i will say:

description, i've been pretty shit at description and awesome at dialogue so i feel like i've been getting a lot better at describing how people are feeling/doing at the moment in the story

editing, before i never edit, now i sometimes edit which tbh is not much better but is still an improvement

i guess trying to relax with validation? like trying to reassure myself my fics don't have to immediately become number one hits and that there are people who do love them and overall i'm writing for me and that's all that matters in the end.

2 resolutions:

don't rush-my writing will get there when it gets there. and to not pressure myself into getting x thing done in like five minutes. slow and steady wins the race

again with the validation, i'm still learning to write for me and not for everyone else although it's still nice to know that people like my stuff, writing for me is most important

1 favorite line i've written:

I really like this line from chapter nine of public relations, which is when patrick and david get together.

"But kissing was still at the top of the list. Especially since every time he did kiss David, David would immediately give Patrick a crooked smile that always meant he was charmed by Patrick’s kisses. And who was Patrick to stop if it brought out that particular smile out of David? Patrick was only one man."

tagging all of the people who don't get tagged in things and want to be a part of the tagged games

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petite-ely · 3 years

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Afraid // JJ Maybank

Seven- Mommy Issues

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything

Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.

A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)

Previously

Afraid Masterlist

Song recommendation

Gif made by me!

As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?

She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.

She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.

By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.

She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.

And she was right.

A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.

The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.

Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.

The missing paper read as so:

“This is my dream, John.

And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.

Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.

And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.

I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.

Be the parent I will never be able to be.”

Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.

John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.

Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.

It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.

The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.

But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.

She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.

And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.

When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.

She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.

Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.

Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.

A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.

“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.

“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”

“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”

“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.

“Yeah, but it feels like it.”

“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”

“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”

“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”

“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”

“How did you find me, anyway?”

“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”

“I do not!”

“You so do!”

And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.

Taglist

@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank

If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!

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lovieebby · 4 years

Text

dreaded corner

a/n: i know this isn’t the oneshot/fic i promised but here’s something i whipped up! i thought since i’ve imagined for a hot minute that id just spit it out. thank you @viking-raider for rereading this for me 😂 ily & also i apologize again bc im posting this thru my phone so im sorry if the formats funky!!

summary: you thought you could be a big girl, instead its sassy and rude and daddy is fed tf up.

word count: 2.2k (wowza)

pairing: henry cavill x reader (y/n)

warnings: um henry himself? implyed smut, sub!reader, daddy henry is fed up, description of readers pussee, i made a bad pun, that cursed blue tank top

tag list: @hell1129-blog 😘

you and henry have been dating for some time now and your sex life was off the charts, but about six months ago you both had started dabbling in the bdsm dynamics as a couple. henry already knew what he was doing, you, not so much. you had an idea but you never really completely understood how to be a submissive, you where naturally that way in the bedroom but anywhere else outside of that felt off to you and plus you never had a dom that was as strict and as serious in this lifestyle as henry, your past partners just in it for the hype of the kinky sex.

you loved being his submissive but it was hard at first, you had always looked out for yourself and so it became a habit to take things into your own control and set up walls. but after time and love henry slowly took down those walls and you where able to trust him with your whole being. after a while, you really loved being taken care of and being able to hand the control over to someone else, it feeling like you could finally breathe.

you felt like you where a genuine good submissive, theres never really a right or wrong way either, henry had told you, easing your mind when you had gotten concerned. most days you listened, wanting to please him and get praised for it. you lived to be a good girl for him, but some days where more rough than normal. some days you just wanted to be independent and in charge of yourself, doing what you please, and more often than not, henry caught on to it fast and put you back into your place.

you stood in the kitchen, standing by the fridge trying to figure out what to drink. you rubbed your ass, stinging still from the spankings you got earlier. ten hard swats on each cheek and you didn’t get to orgasm once the first punishment was over, no orgasm was your second punishment.

bummer.

henry sat in the living room, on his laptop replying to an email. he wore his blue tank top with his sweat pants, feet perched up on the ottoman. he had started an email once he had given you the much needed aftercare and reassurance. you both had cleaned up taking a shower together and getting into your lazy day clothes.

henry heard the fridge being closed roughly and the shelves within it shaking. he had talked about this with you time and time again, you used to do it at your own home, but now you two lived together, so that meant respecting your surroundings. what was so hard about that?

“don’t slam it, please.” he had said, making eye contact with you when you spun around to look at him.

“i didn’t! it was the suction from the door!” you explained, getting a little snappy with him, not wanting to get caught that you did, in fact, do it again. you turned around, not wanting to be called out, and made yourself busy looking in another cabinet for something to snack on.

henry looked at you questionably that quickly turned into a stern disapproving glare, “don’t talk back to me,” he sighed out, turning back to his email. he thought your attitude dissolved, clearly it just doubled.

“i’m not, im just defending myself,” you sassed out quietly, making a mocking face while you searched in the cabnet.

“excuse me?” his voice boomed out. he pressed hard on the send button, sending the email, he didn’t bother double checking if everything was typed out correctly. henry moved the laptop over to the empty seat. he crossed his arms, frowning at you, surprised at your returned attitude.

“did you fart?” you sassed again, closing the cabinets, you spun around and crossed your arms. coping him while leaning on the counter arching your eyebrow, biting the inside of your cheek.

bad move, bad move (y/n).

henry was baffled, you just got done with a punishment not even an hour ago. he had beaten your ass pretty well, and he rarely had to do that. he thought if you wanted a challenge, you would quickly lose. he stood up from the couch, and slowly walked to you, once he got the the kitchen island he put his hands down, spreading his fingers out. he towered over you even if it was a couple feet away, his eyes piercing into you, daring you to continue your attitude.

he’s never had to punish you multiple times in one day, but if it was needed, he was going to.

“little girl,” he started, his voice dropping an octave, “drop the attitude, i won’t tell you again.”

“fine.” you snapped, you where definitely not going to. “but i didn’t slam the door.”

“(y/n), i don’t care,” he punctuated each word, leaning forward.

“i didn’t though! i’m not lying!” you threw your hands down, almost stomping your foot on the floor.

you where acting out, you knew he was getting back in his dominant role, but you where serious too! you didn’t want to be dominated at the moment. you didn’t want to say your safe word, it wasn’t needed, you were just being a brat. you just wanted to be you for two seconds, not henry’s baby, you felt big.

“alright, get over here.” he stood up straight, walking away from the counter, clinching his jaw. he was fed up, you had no reason to act this way and he was quickly going to put you in your place.

you suddenly realized that you became a big mean brat more than a big girl, now you wanted the floor to eat you whole, like right now. utterly embarrassed that you thought you where so confident about yourself and your actions. you didn’t want to move, frozen under his glare, you where already thinking of what he was going to do, and you where praying he wasn’t going to swat your ass again, his spanks weren’t light and your ass was as rosey as ever.

“move it missy,” he said, snapping his finger down in front of him where he wanted you, “now.”

you slowly moved to him, your confidence completely leaving your body as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. you stood in front of him, not making eye contact, his eyes too intimidating. if you looked at him, you’d beg for forgiveness, but at the moment you where still trying to hold on to a useless lie.

henry breathed in deep and let it out slow through his nose, he knows its hard for you sometimes to comply and completely listen but you both agreed to the rules henry had set. he let you stand there, making you think. it also gave him a moment to calm down, he didn’t want to just lash out and show his frustration, but he still wants you to know who’s the boss.

he honestly just wanted to sit down with you and junk out after getting his business done, but clearly he needed to punish you again because apparently you didn’t get the memo the first time.

“we agreed on the rules, did we not?” he questioned you, crossing his arms. he looked out at you, you looked anywhere but him.

you nodded your head, agreeing with him.

“oh, now you have nothing to say?” he taunted, ticking his jaw. “you had so much to say earlier.”

“we did.” you whispered, looking down at your fidgeting hands.

“look at me when i’m talking to you,” henry gripped your chin, tilting your face up to him. you whimpered dropping your hands to your side, his grip making your bottom lip jut out.

“if you don’t agree with the rules, you know what to say, if not, shut it,” he sternly watched you, waiting for you to say something, putting a little more pressure into his grip, shaking your face a bit, waiting for you to say the word. when you didn’t, he continued, “now i don’t know what got into you, to think you can speak to me like that, but that needs to end. quit your shit and stand in the corner, hands behind your back.”

you frowned, opening your mouth in disbelief, now you where upset all over again, the submission leaving your body. you’ve been put in time out a couple times but right now you weren’t feeling it, this is dumb!

“like a kid?!” you loudly questioned.

“yes! because you’re acting like one!” he let go of your face and with one hand he pushed you to the corner by the breakfast table with his other, he pointed to the known corner.

you picked up your feet and scoffed, this was unfair, you weren’t a child! you clinched your jaw when you got the corner, so frustrated you screamed in your mouth.

once henry heard you whining and carrying on he walked up behind you and smacked you ass, harder than he intended but it worked, he needed to make a point. you gasped and jolted forwards, bracing your hands on the wall, your ass was still tinder. he stood behind you, putting his hands up on the wall caging you in. he put his mouth right next to your ear.

“you did this to yourself, so take your punishment like a big girl and shut up. i don’t want to hear you.” he said, leaning into you, making himself known, “you don’t run shit here missy, and i’m here to remind you of that.”

he pushed off the wall, backing up from you and smacked your stinging ass again, giving a warning. you held your whine in and closed your eyes tight.

he turned around and stood by the counter, he looked down at his watch and set a timer for twenty minutes, he could probably get some small chores done, so he could waste time waiting on you. he didn’t want to stand there and watch you because you’d notice and probably say something and he just didn’t want to hear it. you where always so good, but when you got bratty and sassy, he nipped that shit quick, not wanting it to happen again. as he was leaving the room and gave kal a quick pat to follow him, he doesn’t need you petting him while you’re in your corner.

you were embarrassed to say the least, you were in a corner with your hands behind you, flustered in an uncomfortable wetness from your arousal. henry made you flustered on any given day but when he became daddy, it was so much more worse. you where still soaked from the first spanking and from the rough sex you just had earlier.

you moved side to side discretely, you only wore an over sized cotton tee with your soft sleep shorts with no panties, not wanting any extra material on your bum, the shorts already a little scratchy on your bruised cheeks.

regretting your attitude, you wanted to apologize, but you knew if you spoke up, you would get reprimanded from henry. so you stood there, trying to pass the time by trying to find shapes on the textured wall.

after some time you noticed you haven’t heard henry, you perked up and peeked over your shoulder, you didn’t see henry anywhere not even kal. usually if you tapped the wall kal would come over and you could at least have some type of company. you tapped the wall a couple times, but no response from the pup. you turned back around to the corner, trying to patently wait, wanting to be good for your daddy.

what felt like hours, you finally heard henry come back into the kitchen, pulling a chair out from the breakfast table and assuming, sitting down in said chair. you wanted to apologize so bad, you weren’t ever bad like this before, you felt terrible for being snappy and bratty at him. but you stayed and waited for him to tell you, you could come out.

“come here baby,” he said, patting his thigh.

you looked over your shoulder, shrinking into yourself a little apprehensive about moving, “you sure daddy?” you softly asked, you didn’t even know if you wanted to leave the corner, you where rude.

he chuckled softly, he patted his thigh again, “yes i’m sure baby, come on.”

you turned around and stood between his legs, you put your left hand over your shoulder, messing with the hem of your tee shirt. “i’m sorry daddy, i was rude and i really did close the fridge hard.” you said as you rose your head to look at him.

“i know, you don’t lie very well,” he smirked, rubbing the back of your thigh, loving the feeling of your warm skin. “you know why you went into your corner, right?”

you breathed in, sighing, “because i got snappy with you,” you said, henry blinked and gave you a knowing look, waiting for you to continue, “and that i lied.” you quickly said the rest.

he hummed, nodding his head, “good job baby, you did good.” he squeezed your thigh, as you relaxed and put both of your hands on his thighs leaning into him.

you smiled sheepishly and leaned all the way down to give him a kiss. when henry kissed back, he put his other hand on the back of your head, softly intertwining his fingers to massage your scalp.

he pulled back, looking at you intently, “don’t lie again, i like having my good baby.” you nodded your head and gave gave him another kiss.

a/n: thank you guys for reading, feedback is always nice so dont be afraid to say something 🥰

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill x yn #henry x reader #henry x you #daddy!henry #sub!reader #d/s dynamic

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

Text

lion primary + slightly burnt lion secondary (badger secondary model) (bird secondary model)

i hope you’re having an amazing day!! here’s my SHC dilemma:

i know my primary is lion, and it feels a little exploded, at that, but at least i know what’s up. but im still extremely confused about my secondary. i tried looking through other submissions, but i didn’t really find anything i vibed with 100%, but then again i have adhd and im really struggling going through all that text, it just kinda blurs together at some point

so, my secondary. taking the test, i always get burnt, often with a vague hint towards bird. at first i immediately adopted that and decided i was a burnt bird, but the more i go the less that feels right to me and i think it might be some sort of model.

Yeah. “doesn’t feel right.” Definitely see the Lion in your sorting.

working by elimination, im pretty certain im not a snake secondary. that ish doesn’t even sound real to me, i know there are people like this because i know a couple, but it’s just so weird to me that some people are just able to improvise so effectively, and seemingly change themselves like that, and they?? enjoy it?? it does sound dope, like i admire it, but wtf.

Lion secondaries can get very *does not compute* when trying to get their head around Snake secondaries. I’m considering Lion for you.

i do act differently in different situations or with different people, but i don’t think i have “personas” as much as degrees of awkwardness

I see the burnt secondary. You’re definitely talking yourself down here. But the way you talk about “degrees of awkwardness” does make me think about the way Lion secondaries “change faces” by modulating intensity.

depending on how much my anxiety is acting up, and the more anxious i am, the more i act like a doormat and revert to the proper manners i was taught, but like… that’s not me, and it’s not done on purpose, i don’t enjoy it.

Looks like somebody’s got an unhealthy Badger secondary model.

it feels gross not to be able to act like myself, whatever the hell that is.

And you didn’t vibe with the Lion descriptions? This is the first time I’m reading though this and… very interested to get to the part where you talk about why you think you’re not a Lion.

im also convinced im not a bagder - my mother is, and there are a lot of those in my community, so i was raised thinking that was the best way to be, an ideal to work towards, but it’s just not comfortable for me, i don’t wanna do it.

Yeah, this would that unhealthy Badger secondary model you were talking about. ^

i don’t even think i *can* do it. i mean, “showing up and doing the work” is pretty hard with adhd, and not even the most efficient way of getting stuff done (at least for me), and thinking of the group and what i can do in that group is annoying. also i get that asking for help is important sometimes but it still feels like that’s just admitting i can’t figure out how to do it myself, which, yikes (don’t come at me i know it’s unhealthy)

Hey, breathe. It’s okay. Nobody is going to make you be a Badger secondary. Clearly you’ve spent enough time struggling under the weight of a model that doesn’t suit you, and now you’re pushing back against everything Badger extra hard.

id rather find a group im a good fit for instead of molding myself to please others.

See, that’s an exaggerated, caricatured way of conceptualizing how a Badger secondary works… but I’m not surprised that you think about it that way.

whatever i do, it needs to come from me.

… you’ve got a very loud Lion secondary.

anyway im somewhere between lion and bird, and at first i thought i was a bird because i do in fact fricking love learning everything i can, i wouldn’t naturally call it “collecting”, i’m just doing whatever’s interesting in the moment

You mean you learn by improvising? :) Like a Lion? :)

but sure, why not - i like collecting languages, knowledge about different cultures, books, music, space, countries, medicine, anything and everything, and i sometimes spend hours researching random stuff that im never actually gonna use “just in case im stranded in the wilderness and need to make soap” you feel? but it’s not actually because i think it might be useful (though i do get random bouts of anxiety over not knowing how to do certain stuff “in case” even though the probability id need them is infinitesimal).

Loving knowledge does not make you a Bird secondary. I’m hearing you talk about about a thing you do for fun, and - this is key - a thing you use as a mechanism to cope with anxiety. ADHD can sometimes make you feel very scattered, going too fast, and your Bird is giving you [the illusion of] control. And I’m not going to knock that. The illusion of control is important.

i just like knowing things and being able to use those things to do stuff. i wanna be “that guy” you can come to with the most obscure problem and they’d have some way of dealing with it. doesn’t that sound pretty bird?

Okay. Here’s the deal. You like Bird secondaries. You think they’re cool, and badass. Maybe you’d like to be one. But I’m still not at all convinced you are. I haven’t heard you use it to solve problems.

but i can’t actually do that stuff. i think i used to, when i was a teenager? but depression and undiagnosed adhd kinda kicked my ass, among a few other things, and now i don’t really have the brain power for it and i feel like im not actually able to learn things as well, or to even think straight.

Wow. That is some burnt secondary talk. I can’t do things.

(I promise you, people with ADHD have absurd brain power, and can learn things crazy well, although not in the same way as neurotypicals. You are right about not thinking straight, which I am interpreting as “in a straight line.” ADHD people think in webs and corkscrews and I love it.)

or if i did, i can’t learn as *many* things as i need to feel accomplished? which idk what you think but it kinda just sounds like burnt bird to me.

Feeling like the secondary you have isn’t good enough can be a Burnt thing... but feeling like you need to manifest a specific secondary *more* (which is what this feels like) is usually a sign of a model.

but here’s the thing. all of those sound real nice. and cool. and a good way of doing things, maybe even the “right” way, even though i know that’s subjective. but lion just feels more comfy, and idk if that’s because im a burnt bird modeling lion or if it’s smth else.

… you mean… like being… a Lion?

cause the “collecting skills and knowledge to solve problems” thing sounds cool, but it’s actually more just the first part that i vibe with? the part where i get to learn stuff! but when actually solving problems, i don’t usually think too long, i just vibe. i see where my instinct is taking me and i apply reason *after* that, or like, as a secondary, support thing. im not a dumbass either, im good at puzzles and logic problems, i can totally think things through and use my skills! but that’s not really how i approach problem-solving. i just jump into the situation and see what part of it is closest and start there, or what’s convenient, or what just feels right or nicer or whatever.

This is a perfect description of a Lion secondary with a supportive Bird model. Like a LOT of neurodivergent people (hi!) you built yourself some scaffolding using the Bird toolbox.

and on one hand it could be that im not confident in my skillset enough to do things the bird way, but on the other hand, thinking back to my childhood and teenage years, when i had better executive skills and i wasn’t as completely scatterbrained as i am I now (i was, but not as bad in some ways), i still did this? like, all of my major life decisions where made on the spot based on instinct and nothing else

I’m definitely seeing the Lion primary come though as well.

whenever i have a problem of the interpersonal sort i just face it and talk to the person and don’t bother hiding or sugarcoating things even if it means hurting that person because i don’t want to lie or come off as something i’m not, when i need to work on a project i don’t bother planning, i just jump in and a strategy forms in an organic way as i go, you know what i mean? isn’t that what this “charging” business means?

Yes.

anyway i have no idea which one is a model and which one is actually mine. i love learning things but i don’t care about actually using them. i mean i like it, of course, but it’s whatever. planning is tedious and it kinda gives me validation because im meant to be “smart” and i guess planning is what smart people do, but it’s annoying and nothing ever goes exactly to plan anyway so you just have to pause and plan again or whatever, and that’s just so boring and frustrating??

I get that you like Bird secondaries, and I get that the picture of “smart person” in your head looks like a Bird secondary but just like… come on…

why not just do the damn thing?? and then what you have to do will be obvious anyway?? and sure, if you planned ahead, maybe you’d already know what you need to do and you’d have prepared it and you’d do it better, but who’s got the time for that?? i can’t use my brain like that! i need to live the thing before it actually feels real enough for me to think about solving it.

I have never read anything more Lion secondary in my entire goddamn life.

i hope this actually made sense and i gave enough relevant information, my head kinda feels jumbled right now. i mean it makes sense to me but i don’t know how this reads from an outside perspective. maybe i should have planned this like an essay or whatever lmao

thanks a lot for answering these & running this blog!!! it’s dope and you give really good insights and you’re just a super cool person!

<3 <3 <3

#LION SECONDARY #badger secondary model #bird secondary model #lion primary #sortme #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #submission

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brelione · 4 years

Text

Endgame(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Request:with kie with a like super rich kook SO and bringing them to meet the rest of the pogues and they all expect to hate them but then not

Kiara had never liked you.Well, she had never reallly met you.She kind of just assumed you were a bitch.You were what Sarah Cameron thought she was, you came from a ridiculously rich family.

Your mother was a brain surgeon and your father was a famous actor so that obviously meant that you were ridiculously rich.Kie had done a lot of research on you, finding your name on your fathers wikipedia page and from there finding your blog where you posted videos of him behind the scenes and personal interviews with him on your youtube channel.

She was up for 16 hours straight watching all of your videos, memorising your intro song.You had a good one million subscribers, posting a lot of blogs and videos showing things that you had found on the beach.She would blush and giggle at your little comments.

“Hey, beautiful people!Its your bitch and today im gonna show you guys my new surf board because my old one got broke on an accident.I mean, my wrist also broke so if you were gonna comment on it, trust me.I definitely noticed.So before I get into this video I just want to talk about mental health really quickly.”You paused to take in a quick breath, speaking a bit too fast.

Theres a new suicide game and its getting across social media really quick so please do me a favor and stay safe.It doesnt matter what the problem is now, its only temporary and suicide is a permanent solution.I linked some suicide hotlines and free therapy sources in the description so please just keep yourselves healthy and happy for me, okay?Okay, cool.”You licked your lips, calming down from the quick rant.

“Also drink some fucking water!Its hot out and I almost passed out the other day and make sure you get a snack because this video is already fifteen minutes long and im probably gonna be ranting for another hour.”You grinned at the camera.

Kiara bit into a carrot stick, her knees on her chest as she sat in the recliner of her living room. “Watching another documentary?”Her mother asked, noticing that her daughter hadnt moved in hours.Kie shrugged, focusing on you as you dropped your surfboard. “This is exactly how I broke the first one-fuck!”You laughed, picking it back up.

Eventually the boys started to spam her phone, interrupting her binge watching.She left her house with a sigh, walking out to the dock and waiting for the pogues.Thats when she heard your voice.It was quiet as you walked, wearing white jeans and a light blue button up shirt.

“So you guys always ask me to show you the beach that I find all of my seashells at so thats what we’re-”You paused, looking over to Kiara.She quickly looked away, pretending to be busy on your phone. “Sorry guys, I just saw a really pretty girl.”You whispered to your phone, continuing your walk.

From there she finally worked up the courage to talk to you.She couldnt simply message you on instagram, you had hundreds of thousands of followers so her dm would get lost with all the others.

So she found her prettiest outfit and walked to your house, knocking on the door.You looked at her through the camera of your doorbell, knowing that you had seen her before.You set down your lap top as you were editing, going to answer the door.

“Hi...um...hi.”She laughed, not planning on getting this far. “Hi, um...what’s up?”You cringed at your words. “Nothing much.I just live a block away and I just thought id say hi...im sorry.”She laughed again, becoming more anxious.

“Its fine!So um...I dont know, do you wanna maybe hang out sometime?”You asked, leaning against your doorway.She licked her lips, trying her best not to blush. “Yeah, yeah ok.Um...could I get your number?”She asked, holding her phone.

You nodded, giving her your phone number and telling her to text you whenever.Once the door was closed and she had left you were a squealing mess on your couch, recording.

“So you guys know that pretty girl I was talking about that I saw?Yeah so I just got her number and im low key freaking out-oh god lets just hope she doesnt watch my channel!”You laughed before finishing the editing process, uploading it to youtube.

Kiara got the notification while she was washing her face, watching the video and absolutely losing her mind.She buried her face in her pillow, squealing before deciding to text you.

Unknown number:hey!Its Kiara.Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?

You smiled, letting out a sigh.You screenshotted it, knowing that it would be fun to look back at in the future.

You:Sounds good!Do you want to come over and we can get coffee or lunch or something?

Kie:Okay!!12?

You:Works for me :)

Kie:Okay!

You were anxious the whole night, trying to figure out what to wear.You couldnt decide, posting a poll on your instagram.They decided that you’d be wearing a dark green romper and sandals.You went to bed early since you’d have to wake up before afternoon, heart pounding.

When you woke up it was eleven and you were already behind, hopping in the shower quickly, drying your hair and brushing it, trying to get it to a soft texture.You didnt want to look like you were trying too hard, deciding not to use all of the hair products you’d usually put in your hair before a meeting or a date.

You got into your outfit quickly, pinning your pin back with bobby pins so you could moisturize your face, grabbing your box of beads and parting your hair.You braided the two groups of hair that framed your face, intertwining the beads along the way, securing it with an elastic.

You sighed, twisting a golden flower ring onto your pinkie before going down stairs to sit in your large living room, waiting for Kiara.Your doorbell alerted you to motion outside, getting excited when you saw Kiara walking up to your front door.

She was wearing a pink tube top, light washed jeans with her hair half up and half down, bracelets hugging her wrists.You got up, answering the door the second she rung the bell. “Hi.”You smiled, phone in your pocket.

“Hi.”She smiled back, looking up and down at you.The two of you got into your car, you driving as you started your drive to a cafe. “So how are you?”You asked, realising you knew nothing about her. “Im good, what about you?”She asked, hands in her lap. “I was up all night editing which obviously sucked but you know, it is what it is.”You replied, biting your lip.

She smiled, knowing she’d end up watching the video. “Editing what?Like an edits account on instagram?”She asked, cringing at how stupid it sounded.You shook your head, slowing down once you got to the main road, searching for a parking spot.

“No, I have a youtube channel.I kind of just post random shit and hope for the best.”You answered, pulling up next to the cafe.She nodded, turning to look at you. “That’s cool, what kind of stuff do you post?”She asked, resting her chain against her palm.

You bit your lip, glancing over at the cafe. “I post a lot of interviews and random videos of my dad and sometimes he’ll take me to a set with him and i’ll take videos with the cast.I got to meet Scarlet Johannson so thats cool.”You replied, unbuckling your seatbelt.She grinned.

“Thats fucking awesome-were they in a movie together?”She asked, wanting to hear you talk more. “A show thats coming to Netflix soon, its kind of like a murder mystery meets greek mythology and my dad plays Zeus.We should watch it together.”You answered.

The car was cool but you felt hot, probably because her eyes were focused on you.She nodded, liking the idea of hanging out with you more. “That’d be awesome.”The two of you went inside, the barista grinning at you.

She had always liked you and liked showing up in your vlogs when you came in to get your coffee with boba.She looked to the unknown girl beside you, a small pout on her face. “What can I get for you ladies?”She asked, already preparing your coffee.

“What do you want, Kie?”You asked, moving aside so she could see the menu. “Uhhh….whats a green frappe?”She asked, squinting at the menu. “Oh-its like a blended matcha latte with like mint and vanilla.It's really good.”You explained.

The two of you sat with your drinks, Kiara laughing as you stabbed the boba bubbles at the bottom of your cup. “You know whats cool?These straws are made of hemp plastic so its-”She cut you off before you could finish.

“Biodegradable?”She asked.You nodded, glad someone finally knew what you were talking about. “Yeah!And the company is awesome, they have like 10% of sales going to help the Amazon rain forests and another 10% going to help clean the ocean.”You smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

The afternoon had ended with the two of you on the beach, taking photos of eachother discretely while you finished your drinks, searching for sea glass and watching the sun set.Kiara was freaking out on the inside, knowing that she was pretty much dating a celebrity.

It didnt take long after that first day for her to start showing up in your videos.You held your camera as you two walked down the beach, her hand holding yours and twirling you every once in a while, flashing a smile to the camera.

“So we’re currently on our way to a place that Kie will not tell me about because shes rude.”You spoke, turning the camera to face you.Kiara simply laughed, placing her chin on your shoulder. “Uh...no its because im good at planning surprises.”She answered, grinning when you gasped.

Two surfboards were on the sand along with a blanket and a basket full of fruits, veggies and sandwiches.You cut the camera, giggling and pulling her into a kiss. “Love you.”She grinned, giggling.

“Love you too.”You replied, looking down at the boards.It didnt take long for the two of you to be in only your swimsuits, grabbing the boards and heading towards the water.You clipped the camera to your board, making sure it was secure before stating to film, catching a few good waves on camera before focusing more on Kie.

“There she is, showing off for you guys.”You zoomed in on Kiara as she rode the wave, twisting her body to get a beautiful spin on the dark blue wave.She disappeared under the water, resurfacing with a smile and hair on her face, swimming towards you.

“Did you see that?”She asked, a proud smirk tugging at her lips.You nodded. “How could I miss it?”You asked, earning an eye roll from your girlfriend. “Shut up.”She splashed you, letting out a loud laugh when you splashed back at her.

Turning off the camera, laying on your stomachs against your boards, holding hands so you wouldnt drift away from eachother.It was heaven. “So...ive been thinking lately.”She started, a nervous look on her face.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “And I think I want you to meet my friends.”She tapped her fingernails against your surfboard, waiting anxiously for your answer.She had told the boys all about you.

About how you had a huge following on youtube, how your dad was an actor and how you lived in the biggest house on figure eight.She had tried her best to tell them that you werent like the others, that you were fantastic and humble.

But of course they didnt believer her and ‘would believe it when they saw it’.She knew that if she didnt end up introducing you to them sooner or later that she’d lost the chance to introduce you at all.

You nodded, considering it. “Yeah, okay.When?”You asked, hoping you’d at least have time to think about this. “Tomorrow.”She replied, wincing when you let out a small shout. “Tomorrow?Shit-Kie, im not ready!”You exclaimed, covering your mouth when you realised how loud you had been.

“Babe, chill.Let me pick out your outfit and it’ll be fine.”She insisted.You gave in, the two of you paddling back to the sand, wrapping up in your towels and sitting on the blanket, eating some cutie oranges.

She spent the night at your house, holding on tight to you even though the two of you were in a king sized bed and she had more than enough space to spread out like a starfish.

The morning came too fast, Kiara raiding your closet for something appropriate for the occasion, pleased when she came across a black bathing suit and a yellow shirt along with some jeans, tossing them at you.

“Babe, you gotta get up.”She told you, already dressed and ready to go.You groaned, finally getting up a few minutes later, slowly changing and not even bothering to pick up your pajamas.You were still sore from last night, stretching your limbs as you pulled the jeans up your body.The boys were spamming her phone, making her annoyed.

Dumb Blonde:Where are you guys

God:Are you bringing them with you

Trash Rat:Dont bring them with you

Trash Rat:The place is a mess

Trash Rat:Kie

Trash Rat:Kiara

Trash Rat:Kiara Madelyn Klark Carrera

God:Where are you guys

Dumb Blonde:Wait are they the one with the dad that was in that one movie

She ignored their texts, turning off her notifications and sending you a quick smile, promising to get you an iced coffee on the way.You were half asleep in the passengers seat until she handed you a french vanilla iced coffee, slowly becoming awake.

By the time you had finished your coffee she had pulled into John.B’s drive way, hand on your thigh in attempts to calm you down. “You’re gonna be fine, babe.Everyone likes you, they just havent met you yet.”She grinned, getting out of the car.

You squeezed her hand, following her into the house.The boys were all sitting on the couch, looking up once the two of you had entered.JJ immediately looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow.You felt a bit insecure, trying to figure out what he thought of you.

“This is (Y/N).(Y/N), these are the boys.Thats John.B, thats JJ and thats Pope.”She pointed to each of the boys.The tension in the room was ridiculous until Kiara pulled you into her lap, the boys looking between eachother. “So whats it like having a movie star as a dad?”JJ asked, the first one to speak up.

You bit your bottom lip, pulling at the skin on your hands. “umm...its really cool sometimes.Chris Hemsworth is a family friend so thats cool but like...I cant go anywhere with him when he’s home without getting followed around and there was this one teenage girl stalking him once and she was climbing our house and was watching me sleep.”You answered, relieved when you heard Pope chuckle.

“Wait, actually?Thats so scary.”He replied, the two of you beginning to calm down a bit.You, John.B and JJ were all conversating about Chris Hemsworth, all of them asking a lot of questions.

“Wait-who else have you met from the Avengers?”John.B asked. “I met Scarlet Johanson and Chris Evans.”You replied.Kiara smacked your leg. “You met Christ Evans and never told me?”She asked, outraged.

You rolled your eyes, pulling out your phone to show them the vlog that Chris had made an appearance in.Kiara was just confused as to why she had never seen it before you informed her that it was private.

“Ew-ignore my face.Just wait a few seconds.”You told them, the phone between the circle that had ended up forming. “Oh my god!Its Chris Evans!”JJ shouted, staring at the phone.Chris had leaned over your shoulder, saying a quick ‘hello’ to the camera before Scarlet stole it from you.

“This is Scarlet Johannson and I have decided to take over my new role as (Y/N)’s mom.Im sorry (Y/M/N) but they’re mine now.”She smiled.Her hair had been dyed a light blonde, red lipstick and light eyeshadow.

You had been freaking out the whole time. “Wait-will you ever see her again?”JJ asked.You hummed, sure that she’d be making an appearance for a Christmas Party. “Can you tell her I love her, please?”He asked, face red. “She reaches my vlogs-do you guys want to be in one?”You offered, remembering that you had your camera in your bag.

They all agreed, excited as you took out your camera, Kiara holding onto you. “So Kiara introduced me to her friends today and JJ has a special message for Scarlet.”You grinned, pointing the camera towards him. “Marry me, please.”He winked, giggling.

Pope flashed a peace sign at the camera, John.B sticking out his tongue and doing finger guns. “This is John.B and this is Pope, and then we have Kie as always.”You pointed the camera at her.She bit her lip, winking at the camera and making you laugh.

“Oh my god- what is this vlog.”You shook your head, turning off the camera.When you had posted the vlog that night you were spammed with comments demanding JJ’s instagram and of course you had to give the people what they wanted.

JJ was more than happy to have a ton of pretty girls hyping him up in his comments, Pope getting a lot of attention as well.Scarlet had made sure to let you know that she had watched it and to tell JJ that he was too young for her but she was flattered by the offer.But then your instagram was being spammed.You were being tagged in dozens of edits of you and Kie along with one of you and JJ.But the comments on that one were so funny.

Kieand(Y/N)4life:bruh no

(Y/N)officialfanpage:no <3

(Y/N)officialfanpage:Kiara and them are meant to be bb

Kiara(Y/L/N):Kiara and them are meant to be buddy

KIEANDYNAREENDGAME:uhhh isnt it confirmed that Kiara and (Y/N) are dating?

“They’re catching on.”You told Kie, sitting down on the bed and showing her all the things you were tagged in.She grinned, telling you to post and make it official. “You sure?”You asked.She nodded, fixing her hair as you got ready to take a photo, kissing her cheek. She bit her lip, watching you type.

We are endgame.

@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @lovelyelinor @messuhp @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall

#kiara carrera #kiara x reader #obx kiara #kiara carrera x you #kiara carrera imagine #kiara

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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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transqueerquestions · 3 years

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im genderfluid and like. super confused about how sexuality and being genderfluid work together?? i dont know if this is the right blog to ask for this cause its more based on just gender stuff but i still thought id give it a shot? anyways im genderfluid and i only like women and im super confused on if i should just call myself nblw or if i could call myself straight on guy days and lesbian on girl days because i hate not having labels but nblw feels too vague and straight/lesbian on different days feels. disrespectful in a way??? tldr; being genderfluid make labels a little weirder and its weird im losing my mind

Tobi: Hey nonnie! I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time with labels, they sure can be confusing and exhaustive just by themselves!

You do bring up an interesting dilemma on the crossroads of gender and sexuality labels influencing one another. I’m sure many have pondered the same question, and while I unfortunately can’t exactly give you an answer, I can help with some tips to remember when navigating labels!

1) Labels are meant to serve you, not define you.

While I understand and I hear you that not having something distinct to label yourself as can be frustrating, I’m here to tell you that labels aren’t ever necessary. If there isn’t a label you know of that you feel encapsulates how you see yourself and know yourself to be, then that’s okay! It’s not a good idea to try and force yourself into any box if it doesn’t seem right as that’s letting the box define you, when you should be defining yourself.

If you feel nblw is too vague and straight/lesbian doesn’t quite work either-that’s okay! Later you might change your mind, or you might find something else that suits you, or find that not having a label at all suits you. It’s all up to you and what feels right.

2) Your sexuality is your own business.

A saying I heard before that I liked is this: “Gender is who you are in the streets, sexuality is who you are in the sheets”. While lacking a bit of nuance here, the overall message is true; aspects of gender are quite public, like your pronouns and how you express yourself (Although it’s important to remember that neither your pronouns or expression is inherently indicative of your gender), whereas your sexuality is entirely your own and can be as private as you want it to be. No one, ever, is entitled to know what your sexuality is.

3) Labels are pretty much used for communication purposes, and you don’t need to have a “one size fits all” label for really anything.

While you’re more than welcome to share your sexuality with who you want, the answer can change based on who you’re talking to or how much depth you want to get into.

Myself, for example, I’m pretty used to considering myself gay as a baseline, because I tend to have a very strong preference for men and I’m a man. However, with people I’m comfortable with, I consider myself bi/pan as I know I’m not exclusively attracted to men, it just tends to be my dominant preference. If I’m really close with someone, I might get into more of the traits and characteristics that I’m attracted to, beyond gender, as my attraction to someone isn’t really based on a person’s gender.

So, three different answers (gay, bi/pan, and *insert complex explanation on what I in particular find attractive here*) for the same person’s sexuality can and does occur because there is an incredible amount of nuance even within labels themselves. Not every person utilizing the same labels find the same aspects of a person attractive, there just typically happens to be a single common denominator that the label communicates.

4) Labels can be as precise or as vague as you want!

If you do a bit of a dive you’ll find so many different distinct labels for different ways individuals find to describe their attraction or gender, and they can get super precise! On the other side of the coin though, “queer” as a label is probably as vague as we can get.

Some people find solace in being as descriptive as possible and finding a label that describes them perfectly, whereas others feel more at home in a label that allows them to just be. And, like I mentioned earlier, some people just don’t want to be described by boxes/labels at all because each label/box/category/etc also comes with it preconceived ideas about the people with that label, and would prefer to not be defined at all.

5) Labels can and do change (for some).

How you describe yourself is entirely up to you and you’re more than welcome to change out and try out different labels until you feel comfortable. It’s also perfectly okay to feel comfortable with something now and then not feel comfy with it later. Refer back to #1 if you’re questioning and wondering how you know if you’re comfy with a label or not-does it serve you? Or does it define you?

I hope these tips help nonnie! Feel free to ask any follow up questions if you’d like any further explanations.

If you liked my answer, consider tipping! ♥️

#answered #tobi answers #labels #gender #sexuality #genderfluid

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taeyamayang · 3 years

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hi angel ! im joining your 200 follower event. my name is pearl, and i'd like to be paired with a dude lmao. its hard to give a condensed description of my personality and still stay true to my nature, so this'll be a little inaccurate descriptiom of me. its way easie to just be my friend instead ;) but anyways, onto the matchup. i'm a short, studious little bitch who is also interested in philosophy, maths, science, history and fashion. existential crisis and debating is common (i'm a writer and a philosophy enthusiast. literally what do you expect, thats like the criteria for being insane), so my types are usually smart and witty people who can keep up with my speed of thoughts, keep me interested and preferably out of madness. indian in ethnicity, which means desi parents who'd not let me date. i love sewing, and i sew for others a lot too. i also like to write (my writing is pretty sentimental and dramatic, maybe humorous is an old fashioned way). funny at times. sleepy. i'd sleep through the apocalypse if it would happen, i'd sleep through the asteroids that destroyed dinosaurs. literally. very physically clingy. i'm trying to make this short and its hard, so lets rush through my ideal type. funny, witty, almost best friendy relationship, with some gossiping about others; maybe an ear for music too. well, thats about it for now, i hope you have a good time. thanks for being wherever you are right now, and running this blog, dear.

i am pairing you withㅡOsamu Miya

↬ okay hear me out, i was torn between atsumu and osamu but i figured osamu's the the type to have witty comebacks when he's annoyed and frustrated at his brother. i also think he could be a great friend. personally, bestfriends to lovers trope is his dynamics/genre. between the twins, i think osamu is more interested in academics compared to atsumu because that boy only have volleyball running in his head 24/7 so i think osamu would make a great input about philosophy or be more opinionated on general things. finally, for me he's calmer and more in tune to his emotions.

your dream has finally come true. your foot has touched down to the land of the rising sun. you have read thousands of blogs about what to expect and what to do once you visit japan. as presumed, you listed quite a few places that you want to visit throughout your trip here.

one of those is a small yet phenomenal onigiri store located at the heart of hyogo prefecture. you fold the paper containing your list back to it's creases before pushing it inside your pocket. your hand push the doorhandle of the shop. the sound of the chime resonates within the small shop and instantly a tall grey haired boy greets you by bowing his head.

"welcome!" he says. he's wearing a black cap and a white shirt with a japanese character written on it. you have no idea what it meant but let's go just go with it.

your eyes feast on various kind of onigiri displayed inside a glass cabinet as you walk to near it. physically, you could feel your stomach grumble at the sight of delicious food.

"if you're into spicy savory food i recommend you try mentaiko. it's spicy pollack roe. but if you're on the sweeter side then you can try umeboshi. it's pickled plums." he points at flavored onigiris.

"tourist?" he adds, changing the subject. you tear your eyes away from the food only to realize he's had his eyes on you the whole time.

"yeah, im from india." you smile at him.

"is that so?" he raises an eyebrow before turning around to fetch a tray resting on top of the counter top. "ill give you free taste." he slices the onigiris into half before setting it on the tray for you to taste.

"thank you." your smile widens in delight. the door to the kitchen at the far end of the counter top blares open to a person with identical features as him. unlike the guy who gave you free food, his hair is dyed in blonde and his eyes are sharper.

"asshole, where's my jacket?" the blonde dude cocks his head at him.

"not infront of a costumer, jerk." he murmurs to himself, diverting his gaze from the other.

"you just called me a jerk infront of the costumer." the blonde puts his hand on his waist and uses his other hand to point at him as if to prove a point. the grey headed boy purses his lips before slowly turning his head up.

"isn't that your name?" he sarcastically remarks in a calm yet condesing tone. your eyes rally back and forth from one twin to the other. your mouth chewing on your second onigiri as you watch them banter.

"you are exceptionally rude and unforgiving today." the other twin wrinkles his nose in disgust.

"everyday that i get to deal with you and skip on the idea of of murdering you i develop a sense of wit to shut you down."

"just tell me where you put my jacket!" the blonde's voice increases.

"i have no idea where your goddamned jacket is!" the grey headed boy throws his hands in the air in frustration. "people who deal with you on a daily basis reduces their life sentence up to ten years. i wouldn't be surprise if i would be dead tomorrow."

you snort out laughing as soon as the boy behind the counter finishes his sentence. the twins turn their head to you in surprise.

"sorry, go on." you keep your head down as you stifle a laugh. you stuff your mouth with another onigiri to keep your mouth shut.

the chimes tied on top of the door clangs signaling that the other twin has left the place. for once, silence dominated the small store. you crack your head up.

"your onigiri tastes good." you say between chews. you have one hand covering your mouth and the other supporting your weight on the counter as you lean closer to him.

"you won the chaff." you lower your voice before winking at him. your playful behavior earns a smile from the grey haired boy. he keeps his head down probably embarrassed of what just happened.

"ill take two of every flavor displayed." you add, "im pearl."

he looks up to meet with your eyes. the right corner of his lips pull into a half smile. his eyes reflect the lights inside the store. he meekly pulls his hat down.

"osamu miya." right then his half smiles turns into a grin.

a/n: please, when you said that you only write sentimental and dramatic pieces i refuse to believe that! i mean lmao when i was reading through your ask i was giggling to myself. you have humor and it shows! btw, this is the best i can give you in terms of witty banters and comebacks cos i am the type of person to fuel the banters,, probably a few ooh's and laughs here and there to keep the argument blazing. anyway, i hope you like this one. also, the last sentence of your ask made smile. thank you, sweet soul ♡

join the event!

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq headcanons #hq oneshots #hq drabbles #hq event #hq osamu #haikyuu osamu #osamu x reader #osamu miya #osamu headcanons #pea.events #pea.asks #pea.writes

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thesunnyshow · 4 years

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Name: Luna

Nationality: Spanish

Languages: Spanish, English, Catalan

Writing Blog URL(s): @moonlightjeno

What fandom(s) do you write for? NCT Dream (ot7) and I want to start writing for Ateez. Though you may find a couple of BTS and NCT 127/WayV pieces but those tend to be spontaneous as I don’t feel as comfortable writing for them.

Star Sign: Leo

MBTI: INFP - T

Favorite color: Sunset

Favorite food: Pizza

Favorite movie: Avatar! Yes, the one with blue people.

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies n cream.

Favorite animal: Wolf and red tailed hawks.

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Neither.

Dream job: Vet for wildlife and endangered species at an animal sanctuary.

Go-to karaoke song: Have never been to a karaoke so not really sure.

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting so I could fly but also be able to breath underwater.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? Definitely the Cretaceous, I just love dinosaurs.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? Most definitely not, I believe that everything one does is meant and we just gotta adjust. So anything I might regret I learn from and everything I’ve experienced has shaped me in some way or form.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? As someone who works with chickens (they’re devils) I think a 100 chicken-sized horses because I love horses and they’re a lot more chill if given care. Chickens are crazy dude.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I guess either the nerd or jock? I’m a mix of both.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Most definitely! If we exist why can’t there be others?

You just won a ticket for a free vacation! Where are you going and why? Africa! In specific Kenya and Zimbabwe as they have some of the largest animal sanctuaries and I would love to both learn more about the culture and see all the animals to help as much as possible.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? When I’m writing a new fic I tend to have a playlist in the background and the mood of the fic tends to go in the direction of the music. And a couple of spontaneous dance sessions occur.

When did you post your first piece? Damn. I think the first official piece that made me want to start writing again was a Yuta timestamp? I wrote for a friend originally and then posted on May 12.

Who is your favorite person to write about? Lee Jeno. I’m definitely biased (as my masterlist can prove) but he’s just easy to write. I love writing other members but Jeno is always a sort of enigma that I can change but still apply the qualities that I just love about. Though I love writing about Cael (an oc from my novel).

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I tend to write a mix of fluff and angst (sometimes crack but im horrible at humour *sigh*). I’m someone who reads for character development, so i always feel like angst is a way to develop a character especially in longer fics and helps it just make it more poetic. One of my favorite things to write is the description of emotions so angst is always a great way to convey that but then fluff to show the change in the characters.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? I write member x reader, and try to make it as gender neutral as possible but at times it is easier to make it female x member as that’s just what I know best.

Why did you start writing on Tumblr? I’m not exactly sure. I’ve always loved writing and creating stories, I had been on a slump from my novel and wanted to do something more lighthearted (which my novel is not) so when my friend liked the little timestamp I wrote for her about yuta it gave me confidence to post it online. And now here we are.

What inspires you to write? Music! Honestly I could hear a song and think of a plot on the spot, music is one of the most beautiful and inspiring sources I think one can have. But also daily life experiences and dreams!!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? Idol verse is something I always love and adore! But also creating my own world is something that I’ve always found interesting as it allows me more creative direction!

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Honestly I’m a sucker for the classics, any best friends to lovers or E2L trope I will love. I wouldn’t say I can’t stand any tropes but either werewolf tropes (bc they tend to just focus on the smut or possessiveness without any character development) or like ceo/boss tropes I just don’t really care for.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? Music music music! There might be a pattern there. But if it’s a specific piece that I was already working on (like the current mark envy fic) I give it a couple of days and see if I can think of a way around whatever is blocking me. I also like to talk it out with my moots (bless them I love y’all) and read different fanfics/books because sometimes it’s just I’m not sure how to express the feeling correctly.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? My favorite work has got to be the Jeno 10 things + then some. I’d had the idea of writing something based off one of my favorite rom-coms 10 things I hate about you for a while and it was supposed to originally be a video edit. But I wasn’t sure how to go with that, and when I looked at the poem (after watching the movie again) it seemed as if my brain just clicked. I knew Jeno would have to be Patrick. It was just clear in my mind, and he was my ult so it was easiest to write. Thankfully everyone seemed to like it and it became my most successful fic too! After almost a month of writing and editing I was very happy with the result and the feedback blew me away.

What do you think makes a good story? When you feel something move. When you finish the story no matter who’s in it (whether bias or not in terms of fanfic) or an original character and you are now attached to the character. I think as long as the story is able to make you feel something, then it’s good. It’s done its purpose. Though seeing how characters change and develop are always a plus it isn’t always possible such as in short drabbles or timestamps.

What is your writing process like? Very very chaotic. Honestly my ideas tend to spring out of nowhere and be really clear or just be very hazy. I tend to have a bunch of ideas in my mind which I’ll write down (the general plot of) but I tend to only work on one draft at a time so I don’t mix the characters.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? I think there is some sort of difference, as fanfiction is the expanding of a persons personality. We grab what we think we know and what the celebrity or character has displayed and expand upon it in either our own universe or the world we already know. While original prose is more of a start from scratch on the characters flaws and qualities.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Most definitely especially the series I am currently working on based of the seven deadly sins. Because I’m creating a completely new world I feel like I would be able to make into an own story but I would have to think about that in the future. I’m happy where i am right now

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Everything! I can’t stress this enough but getting reviews/feedback/constructive criticism is always so great and encouraging. It means that the reader felt something when reading the piece.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? I honestly couldn’t quite say. I guess the first that pops into my mind are my moots. They tend to always be there to reblog or hype up a new fic which I couldn’t be more thankful for, so a lot of it I owe to them as they had a larger fanbase than I did when I started.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? I can’t say I can, yet I am pretty new. If this is the case I would do my best to clear up the misunderstanding, especially because I feel writing (like many art forms) is interpreted differently by different people.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Most definitely not. A lot of them know I write and that I enjoy writing but none of them know about the account.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? Thank you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart for supporting me, whether it’s a simple ask, or you screaming in the tags or us talking to each other. Any interaction and just support makes my day, and I hope I can continue to be able to make you happy with my work. As always, never doubt yourself, you are beautiful and more than enough.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? I'm sure this has been said before but honestly just do it. *cue nike ad* jokes aside if you like what you write, if you are proud or just want to express how you feel and share your craft then by all means I am 100% sure that someone else will enjoy it too. So don’t be afraid.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? Hmmm, not really. So far the community has been supportive at times it’s a little bit stressful but it’s good.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? I don’t think my stories have a message message behind them, so that they get the feeling of the story. If I intended the story to move the reader someway or the other I hope that it can reach them in that way. But most importantly I write so that people can read and if it’s just for a minute that they can get away from the world and just live through the story.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Most definitely. I love every single one of my moots, and the more people I talk to on here and become friends with, the more I am grateful but there are two people in particular who have been there from the start. Mylin (@starlit-jeno) she was my first moot on here and honestly the best introduction to the community I could have had. I absolutely adore her to bits and she’s always ready to help me with any idea I may be stuck on, and one of the just the chillest people. There’s not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for her friendship and everything she has done (esp the mutual freaking out about jeno and contemplating weird life questions such as 119 deserved a grammy at random times of the day). The second moot, honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked me out because I love her so much is @mango-texts (my soulmate bro). She was the first to ever give me feedback on a piece and then answered a random post about me freaking about Jeno (it’s a daily occurrence). Like Mylin there isn’t a day where I am not grateful and just in awe for her friendship. She’s always there, no matter what it is she’ll be there and will never fail to make me smile. Her excitement at times is the reason why I am motivated to finish fics, and she gives great advice and ideas (her mind y’all). A lot of fics on my masterlist I feel like wouldn’t have been published if it weren’t for the two amazing individuals so I am forever thankful and just love em. Also @smolchenle who is always there too proofread and give feedback you are the sweetest thank you for dealing with my horrible grammar and chaotic ideas.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? In every way possible. As someone who isn’t the best with words (slightly ironic but oh well) when it comes advocating for anything art is such a powerful medium because it doesn't just reach one base. It can expand across all not only countries but also cultures. Art can be interpreted in so many different forms, but still when you listen to a song no matter if you speak the language or not you’ll get the *vibe* or message in ways the language of the world. It connects us and expands messages, I find that very powerful.

Ending thoughts: “It is in our youth that our heart’s are touched by fire, but it when we stop loving that the flame flickers out.”

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

#@moonlightjeno #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 3 #nct #wayv #bts

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fanficaficionado · 3 years

Text

okay, i know i said i would be starting with things i knew and loved. hell, i even had a fic from the fandom im currently ass-deep in all lined up!! but then i procrastinated, and i lost motivation, got distracted by my scheduled post-holiday shutdown, and something else finally kicked my ass into gear. so this blog's first true introduction to the world will not, in fact, be a post where i worship the very ground my favorite fic writers walk upon.

no, today we are talking about Ascent into Madness by cesium_sheep

((spoilers, obviously))

Now im going to preface this by saying that this criticism is subjective and based in my opinion. I did genuinely enjoy this story, and i did not at any point feel the urge to launch myself into the sun with nothing but the pure force of my rage, causing the sun to explode and consume planet earth in a scorching hell-blast and decimating all life on our tiny little space rock, which even some of my favorites are guilty of because in some stories characters just love to waffle about ((especially in my preferred reading material which puts romance at a very significant focus)). This story just isn't for me.

I'm going to explain why, and believe me when i say i am being as gentle as i physically can with this story because it is not objectively offensive to my very being, It's a good read and setting aside the problems i have with it i enjoyed it.

I keep repeating that i don't hate this story because i do not want to be accused of baseless hate, not because of reputation or anything but because being accused of something i know i didn't do sets off the same sensation that i get from rubbing my fingernails on egg cartons, the one of the back of my brain being assaulted by the mayonnaise-coated fingers of satan himself. Damn i should really get to the criticism before this just becomes an in depth description of my very soul's adverse reaction to the cream in queen anne chocolate cherries.

anyways.

The thing about this story is that, to me, it feels.. unfinished. Or at the very least like it wandered off its intended course. It leaves me with a feeling of mild dissatisfaction and the taste of confusion in my mouth. I think this problem is best summarized by the fact that, in the first chapter, it is set up that rose is in some sort of hospital, and that dave thinks she is in the grasp of some delusion, and the second chapter sets up the retroactive explanation for how it got to this point. See, what i expected was to be caught up to that point in the story, reach that point in time again, and then progress from there.

But that first chapter?? With the hospital, the delusions, the brick through the window with the radio attached?? Never brought up again, not even once. It is completely discarded and never even thought about. The story even stops trying to set up that scene after a certain point.

To put it in homestuck terms, because i'm a loser, a time player, and come on we're talking about a homestuck fic here you know i have to do this, it feels like we started a loop and then branched off the alpha timeline so completely we aren't even a part of the metaphorical timeline-tree anymore. It nags at my brain man, it's one of the main things that fuelled my motivation in writing this. It feels lost and wandering and it confuses me in a bone deep sorta way.

The second thing that gets to me is the complete lack of information presented about what, exactly, the fuck is going on. I have no idea how we got from point A to point B, not just because it completely disconnects from point A not even halfway through, but also because there's a lot of plot threads thrown in haphazardly and then never extended upon. There's a mention of jake and john's respective guardians knowing something about the story's big bad and all the mystical bullshit that follows along behind him, but that is never followed up on even a little. No one questions why they know, despite this information being so rare that literally only two families and a single group of aliens seem to have access to it. It just is a thing and then whoops, hand musta slipped because that bad boy is out the window and is facing the combined nonexistent mercy of gravity and this ten story drop.

The main plot has this same problem, in feeling like you get just enough info to keep it going forward. There's a sword in rose's umbrella basket or whatever the hell it's called, and it's implied a future dave put it there for his past self, but do we get confirmation that it was him?? Do we see that loop completed?? No, it is just used as a driving force for rose to try and push the fact that dave's got Timey powers. It feels like i'm being pulled by the hand through this story because it only gives just barely enough information to keep this crazy train rolling and then goes so far as to leave fucking time loops hanging there incomplete which okay i might be getting a little peeved about that but can you blame me?? Can you really blame me at all??

Maybe i am judging the plot too harshly, after all i was forewarned not to read for the plot in the summary because it's pretty slow and wandering. So let's get into something else then, yes?? Let's hop to the relationships.

The relationships, too, fall prey to this complete lack of any meaningful focus on any piece of information ever. I'd swear the writer was allergic if that didn't seem too harsh a description. It's a whole lot of telling without any showing, a cardinal sin in writing. We get a conversation with kanaya that doesn't suffer the disconnect from all things that the rest of the story seems haunted by. It's actually really a neat little conversation and i find it kind of wholesome how kanaya talks about rose and i personally think this interaction to be entirely too short. Then kanaya mentions karkat and apparently there's some of davekat's standard romantic tension happening off-screen because dave starts to get flustered and ponders what that means. And once again a plot thread is thrown to the winds because we never get another whiff of it.

Actually on the topic of davekat, dave just naturally gravitates to karkat and then they're stuck together like glue, so stuck in fact that dave dies for karkat because dave apparently forgets the golden rule of "If you have time to jump in front of someone then you have time to push them out of the way" and then ignores the added bit i spitefully wrote on the ancient stone tablet of Things That Make Sense in neon orange sharpie that says "Especially if you have time to have a discussion about your choices with an ambiguously-dead girl. Pull your thumb out of your ass, dave, nobody has to die here, magic option number three was not the one you picked."

Of course, this is a fanfiction, these are characters i already know. I know how these characters would interact, i know how their relationship develops in-canon and i know that given the chance these fuckers become goddamn inseparable. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it is all tell and no show, we dont see how it gets from "You're one of the only familiar faces in a group of strangers and i am not about to start interacting with new people unless i have to" to "Here let me die heroically for you and then be revived for no explainable reason besides Because The Wizard Of God Says So." I have no reason to be invested in this or even give a half-ounce shit despite it literally becoming something that the climax hinges on. And then rose and kanaya are just inexplicably,, together?? Right at the end?? And while i am happy that the lesbians get to be in love everything is off screen and nothing is ever explained, not even like one time, and god it's just so confusing. I am so confused.

But again, maybe i'm being unfair, once again the very tags of this fic are telling me that the relationships are not the focus and only really tagged so people can filter it out. I suppose i should judge the characters, then.

From what i remember there are sixteen characters, excluding ((who i believe to be, as it is once again not explained or explicitly stated to be)) caliborn at the end, with speaking roles. Five of those characters retain any narrative relevance for more than a nanosecond. A good chunk of the trolls arent even mentioned by name, with eridan and i think sollux being mentioned, and who i think to be sollux speaks when rose and dave are first brought to the trolls' apartment but again, the fog of uncertainty clouds all things and i don't have my handy dandy leafblower on me to airblast that shit out of my way. Of the five characters with any focus on them, two are relegated to the role of supporting character, with karkat joining that number more often than not. That leaves us with dave and rose, who are ultimately as a whole unaffected by their experiences. They do not learn anything, they do not grow or change. Sure rose freaks out about her perception of reality, but that falls flat because it's more tell and no show again. Dave freaks out, as he rightfully should in this situation, but there is no arc. There is no significant change in anything but moving toward the boss fight with the big baddie.

There aren't any particularly interesting interactions between these characters, either, i cannot recall one time in which i laughed, or felt much of anything really. They all fall into a state of Existing while also feeling like they aren't doing a whole lot. It's more noticeable in retrospect but these characters just Do Not feel alive, they seem incredibly flat at times and it's hard to notice while you're reading but looking back it stands out so painfully and it makes me very sad.

If i'm not supposed to read for the plot, and i'm not supposed to read for the relationships, and i can't read for the characters, then what is this story meant to be read for?? The only other thing i can think of is the mystery and sorry pal, but that's a plot, which we have already established doesn't really have a whole lot going for it because while your mystery sure is there it is currently stinking up that rug you shoved half the answers under because those mysteries aren't the ones you want to focus on.

Is it simply meant to pass the time?? Is there no deeper purpose besides keeping yourself entertained as the hours tick by?? Because if so, it at least accomplished that. Despite its faults, it kept my attention for the entire fifty one chapters, and it passed my time.

There are other nitpicks i have, but that's more based around the writing style on a more technical level. The chapters are too short for my personal taste, and there are far too many cliffhangers, these things i will not condemn as the writer gave a good reason for the latter and obviously no writer is obligated to churn out 2,500 words per chapter unless they damn well want to.

Ultimately, this story is neither good nor bad. It is straightforward in that it burns any other plot threads besides the main one on the sacrificial alter of The Writer Does What The Writer Wants, it's a bit too ambiguous and under-explained for my tastes, but there is nothing egregiously offensive in it. It is a story that exists. I wouldn't read it again, but i wouldn't not read it again, and i don't even come close to regretting the time i spent reading it ((outside of the fact that it is currently almost nine am and i haven't slept but that one is my own fault)).

I scrolled passed this story in its beginnings, assuming it would not be particularly mindblowing, and now that i've read it i know that i was entirely correct. Read it if you want, or don't, just don't go in expecting something life changing. I suggest picking out a spot on your schedule where you have nothing to do and will no doubt be bored out of your mind. I sincerely doubt you'll regret it.

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #fanfiction #god what else do i even tag this as. fuckin..#fanfiction critique #????#i feel like a child #i am but a little boy lost in the deep dark woods and i have no idea where i am going #there is no map for this shit #also as i write this tag it is now 9:52 am #a whole hour after i finished writing this monstrosity #because editing this stuff to make it somewhat coherent is a task and a half #i ramble worse than any homestuck character and i have proof too. go ahead. challenge me. i dare you. i know im right #i don't know why or how i got to the bit about queen anne chocolate cherries but i think its funny so fuck it its staying in #again if the author of this fic somehow comes across this and doesn't want this shit on my blog or wants to be tagged like let me know plea #i am trying desperately to not step on any toes or hearts here but i was not Raised so if i fuck up please just tell me #i dont wanna be publicly hung via tumblr anon attacks and callout posts that are poorly made at best and wildly inaccurate at worst #anyways thanks for reading i guess i have no idea how to tie this shit off and it Shows lol #hope i did okay #fuck it im not rereading this anymore im sending it out into the world #off you go little timmy suck it up and face the judgement of strangers

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quoth-the-sparrow · 5 years

Text

Jellyfish

A Sanders Sides One-Shot

Warnings: Food mention, Sympathetic Deceit (if I need to add anything please let me know)

Pairings: Logicality and Anaroceit (aka Roman x Virgil x Deceit)

Description: Based off a one word prompt given to me by @dutifullystrangekingdom and an anon!

Word Count: 941

A/N: This can also be found on ao3 here

Patton sat on his living room floor, surrounded by scraps and strips of wrapping paper. He huffed out a sigh of irritation as he cut a new piece off in hopes that this attempt would finally be the one. He knew unwrapping and re-wrapping the box was a waste but it had to look perfect. Unfortunately, nothing he had done so far looked good enough.

After the seventh time, he decided to give up and put the gift inside what he'd bought as a backup, which was a galaxy printed gift bag with a silver ribbon to tie the handles together.

"Finally," Patton muttered under his breath as he flopped onto the floor. He felt drained from all the stress he'd been dealing with lately, but today was a rare day off. And he had plans to spend it with his best friend who he may or may not totally have a crush on.

He meant to lay there on the floor until he had to get up and shower, but his phone chimed. He rolled over onto his stomach and reached for his phone, grabbing it from the coffee table. It was a message from the aptly named Gay Panic group chat.

Danger Noodle: Hey Patton

Danger Noodle: Just wanted to check up on you

Fall Out Gay: Yea how r u holding up

Prince Charming: Padre, my dear, you simply must flirt with Logan tonight!!!

Pawton: I'm feeling nervous but I have Logan's present all wrapped up~ Flirt? I don't know if I can do that...

Fall Out Gay: I know its scary but u got this

Pawton: Maybe? I mean what if Logan doesn't feel the same way about me?

Danger Noodle: Oh yes, someone who is constantly trying to impress you and is always looking around for you and asking about you isn't into you at all

Fall Out Gay: Cmon D dont b so sarcastic

Danger Noodle: Sarcastic? Me? Never

Prince Charming: Okay, you two edgelords, that's enough! Padre, Logan is definitely, totally, completely head over heels for you! You're so cute; who wouldn't be?! ;)

Pawton: Dee, you jokester, you~ And okay, I can do this, maybe, hopefully~ It's already almost 4pm, I should probably go shower?

Prince Charming: Good idea! Have fun on your date ;) I'm expecting you to provide all the details when you get back!

Fall Out Gay: Only if u want 2 Pat

Danger Noodle: You've really nothing to worry about

Danger Noodle: Have fun, and my advice? Wear that baby blue mini skirt of yours

Danger Noodle: Nerd boi will love it

Pawton: Oh, um... with my fishnets or knee high socks?

Prince Charming: The fishnets!!! Ooh want me to come over and do your makeup? Just say the word and I'll be there!

Pawton: No that's okay, I think I got it~ Thank you all so much! I'm gonna go get ready now, see y'all tomorrow for movie night?

Fall Out Gay: U bet

Danger Noodle: Yes, I'll bring the pizzas this time if Roman can bring dessert

Prince Charming: Honey, I am the dessert ;)

Fall Out Gay: ...ur ridiculous bring cookies

Prince Charming: Ridiculously attractive, I think you mean! But yes, of course, cookies it is!

Patton chuckled at his friends' antics and left them to it while he went to get ready

***Later that evening***

Pawton: Is anyone on?

Prince Charming: Yes!!! How did it go did you two kiss tell me everything!!!!

Fall Out Gay: Whoa Princey chill dude

Danger Noodle: I don't think our dear royal knows the meaning of the word

Fall Out Gay: ur rite

Prince Charming: Offended Princey Noises

Pawton: :D It went way better than I thought it would! Logan loved his jellyfish plushie I got him! He even liked that it was pink, which I didn't expect either?! So I'm really glad I went with that instead of the green one~ Dee, Roman, you were both so right, he likes me too!

Danger Noodle: Told you so, darling

Fall Out Gay: Im happy 4 u Pat

Prince Charming: Did he say anything about that smokin' outfit of yours?!

Pawton: Oh, um, aaahhhh~ I think he really did like it? He was blushing when he saw me so I'm assuming he liked it? We held hands! We haven't kissed yet but we have a date planned for Sunday afternoon! We're going to the aquarium across town~

Fall Out Gay: Thats gr8 Pat u 2 r cute 2gether

Danger Noodle: Honestly it's about time you two clueless disaster gays got together

Danger Noodle: It was obvious Logan had a thing for you the moment he laid his blue eyes on you, darling

Prince Charming: You two are absolutely adorable together! I'm so happy it turned out so well, I knew it would! Oooh does this mean we can all go out on dates together? It would be fun to go bowling or to an amusement park together!

Pawton: That would be fun! I'll mention it to Logan and see what he thinks but I'm all for it if it means I get to spend time with everyone I love!

Fall Out Gay: Not 2 b a hypocrite but thats gay

Danger Noodle: Uh yeah I sure hope it is

Pawton: xD You two are hilarious!

Fall Out Gay: I aim 2 please but i gotta get some sleep so good nite

Danger Noodle: Good idea; besides I think Remy is in need of makeup tips and wants to video chat

Danger Noodle: See you all tomorrow evening for movie night

Prince Charming: Good night my loves!

Pawton: Good night! Can't wait for tomorrow~

A/N 2: I hope you all enjoyed that! This is the first time I’ve ever really written in this format so if you’d like to see more of this kind of writing from me, let me know! Please re-blog and let me know your thoughts; I love hearing from y’all! Also: i’m cutting down my taglist since it’s kinda gotten out of hand and a lot of people on it are inactive so if you’d like to be tagged let me know! I also post all my writing to ao3 at Storytelling_Sparrow

Taglist: @ironwoman359 @today-only-happens-once @lala-the-rebel @galaxywitchwolf13 @virgil-in-a-necktie @areyousirius-noheisdead @princeyssash @virgil-has-a-houseplant @randomslasher @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @madly-handsome @milomeepit @princelogical @icecoldparadise @anxie-teaa @vblood13 @the-better-bard @ahoardofsides @silversmith-91 @fandomsofrandom @hissesssss @hamilin-manuel-miranda @phlying-squirrel @creativenostalgiastuff @hghrules @grey-lysander @reba-andthesides @cloudxaffections @iwritegayshit @xxladystarlightxx @i-am-absolute-fandom-trash @poisonedapples @romanamongthestars @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @irrelevantbutfabulous @purple---skye @ab-artist @ninjago2020 @anuninspiredpoet @eggheadinthemaking @theresneverenoughfandoms @obsessedfanofmanythings @chemically-imbalanced-romance @finger-gunsss @potterhead2468 @tired-fanboy @gemini-the-kitsune-rp @magicallygrimmwiccan

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