#the blood on the collar makes me want to commit arson

[professional-sinner]

I'm absolutely losing my mind

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

what are some of mod dave's aus

uhh ok this is a fucking plethora

SO I HAVE!!

HUMANSTUCK - i just imagine this one by default,,, uhh john was definitely born in athens greece. terezis been chinese / korean this whole time idk what youre talking abou-,t-

DEMIGODSTUCK - i Know i have gone into detail about on this blog before. my favorite concepts from this one are greyro ace vitiligo aphrodite son karkat who doesnt feel like he fits in with his cabin cause they make fun of him for being “ugly” and “loveless” and then he comes around and completes a quest and becomes head counselor, and uhhh hephaestus dirk who has pyrokinesis and also loses an arm so now hes got a metal one he built himself

DONT LOOK DOWN - my greyromantic human-collegestuck 18kword banekat fic im writing which ive Also mentioned on this blog before

DEAD KIDS - this is based off a katie alender book called “the dead girls of hysteria hall” please read that book its fucking phenomenal dave is the one who inherited the asylum and all the homestuck girls are the ghosts trapped inside its made my friends cry before when i made them read it hal almost busted out his witch charm and warded me away cause of dead kids

DONT STARVE - where everyone lives in the 1920s and they get sucked into tim burton minecraft island hell and they all gotta survive there (handmaid is definitely charlie. it fucks aradia up cause she Knows. think like winona. she gets one free night without being consumed by the darkness itself cause Family Reasons)

MINECRAFT - this one is where a lot of people are like sentient humanoid half-creatures like sollux is half creeper half human and dont. uh. dont get him mad. also drowned eridan and feferi but theyre not dead or brainless they just be lookin like that. its cool !! you know !!!

MEDIEVALSTUCK - terezi is an oracle of the church except not anymore shes blasphemous and gets exiled and its her and a bunch of friends who are all like “wow the kingdom thought i was weird too lets all have an adventure together”!! examples: dave cant be a knight cause his eyes are red and that means hes the devil. sollux is a mage who specializes in death-related magic so obviously he brought upon this plague. rose is a lesbian thats not allowed also shes a WITCH. kanayas a vampire. shes just a vampire. she proposes to rose with a sword

EARTH INVASION - this is a no-sburb au where the alternian empire came and took over earth as a colony, also all the trolls exist at the same time as the revolution so like the whole vantas family gets to help out, and the humans are taken as like property cause theyre Technically Lowbloods but theyre Not having it so they all escape and join the rebellion and take down the GOVERNMENT

TROLLSTUCK - daves a mutantblood (same idea where all troll generations exist at the same time) and he finds the vantas rebellion and JADE is a LIMEBLOOD and she is NOT having a good time but shshhs shh its ok shes an olive its FINE

BLOOD / KIDSWAP - kanaya is the vantas and she thinks shes so clever cause shes posing as a bronzeblood. there IS sburb in this one. also dave egbert and john harley. love those boys. jade lalonde is a terrifying concept if she ever goes grimdark run away immediately

OPPOSITESTUCK - jade is the main character and she just wants everyone to shut the fuck up. this is also a sburb au and she hates her land its Too Loud. uhh rose is a being of chaos and exists in the void outside of spacetime itself. and john is a little bastard. tavros is now The Antichad. which is a valid ancestor name actually-

CYBERSTUCK - this one is really really specific, uhh its a post-apocalyptic dystopian cyberpunk futuristic humanstuck where the city everyone lives in once flourished with the help of several versions of androids, but as they advanced they needed more and more power which became fucking nuclear and there was a fallout. so now everythings radioactive, everyones scrounging to survive, androids from “the underground” (the main core of where most of specifically the power droids were kept) are SUPER fucking valuable cause theyre able to give you power, and the radioactivity mutated a lot of people so instead of zombies there are just mutants. and roxy is one of them but theyre still sentient so they look like fucking HEINOUSTUCK roxy but theyre still like. vibing

MAFIASTUCK - where everyone does Illegal Things but mostly not like morally illegal things. just like. yknow daves a thief and. sollux is the most wanted anonymous hacker in texas,, uh. dirk commits arson sometimes,. vriska is vriska,.. jane is in on some high key white collar crimes in the crockercorp company,, and poor john is just this normal idiot surrounded by all of this at college and hes like “god. i hate you all. please be normal”

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG - uhh john has a miraculous and its firefly themed and thats his name !! “firefly”!!! his Big Power is like “typhoon” or some shit he can make a big storm Go and serenity the firefly is his little fuckin uhhh Friend. the Miraculous Animal i forgot what it was called

YOUTUBERSTUCK - this ones based off unus annus p much where like theyre all youtubers and thats how they all met like john and dahnte (banes oc, ive also talked about dahnte) are unus annus and dave and sollux are like. good mythical morning and roxy is an asmr channel and kanaya is a makeup tutorial channel and jade has a vlog with her dog and its called doggy vloggies and eridan does all these science experiments and jane has a baking channel and nepeta ,, she just like. does, what she does and people like her. she doesnt have a genre. shes just nepeta on youtube. and shes a fucking hit. also dirk and jake make music

then like i obviously have concept aus that are pretty much just designs, like gemstuck where theyre all . ,, steven universe gems, and then rwbystuck where theyre all at beacon academy and have their own semblances, and a one piece au where theyre all pirates and some of them ate the Big Shit Fruits, and my own flavor of demonstuck cause who doesnt have a demonstuck, and stardew valley stuck (which i call starstuck valley) where a couple of them are farmers on their own respective farms and they all come together amidst the idiot villagers and go “hey did that wizard make you drink that leaf juice soup too or like is that just me”, and a survivalstuck where the whole premise is like. “the forest” kinda game. oh shit your plane went down and youre stranded in the woods. find your friends and survive. maybe dont get near those eight-armed women with no heads. thats a good idea

long story short i have. uh. a plethora

[lyssismagical]

When the sky is losing light, I swear my head fills up with memories

Febuwhump Days 25-28 - Presumed Dead, Freeze to Death, Glass, Post-Tragedy

Read on AO3

{TW: Minor Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence}

*

His breaths puff out of him, visible in the frigid air.

Kidnapped again.

He’d only been kidnapped a handful of times before, but being both Tony’s Intern and Spider-Man had some pretty obvious downsides. It always ended fine, a grand rescue mission ending with Tony coddling Peter in Medical.

It never took longer than mere hours for him to be found, always covered in trackable devices or taken by people who underestimate Tony’s genius.

But this was different already, Peter could tell.

The man speaking to him from the other side of the glass-walled enclosure Peter’s in, isn’t interested in using Peter for ransom like most others are. He doesn’t even seem interested in hurting Peter, doesn’t step inside the enclosure at all.

And worse, Peter recognized the man pacing. He was one of the police officers constantly chasing after Spider-Man, believing he was failing the city, all of the bullshit that the Daily Bugle puts out. He’d tried to arrest Peter a few times before and had even started shooting at Peter as he swung through Queens.

No matter how much good Peter did, police officers like him would always believe he was a menace.

“Did you know,” the man starts, dress shoes clicking against the ground as he paces. “that over thirty percent of the criminals you web up end up free to roam the streets within days of arrest? Did you know that we still have to present the criminals to the judge and jury nearly evidence-less, and they’re proclaimed innocent until proven guilty? Did you know that the majority of the criminals set free after you play pretend police with them, end up doing more crime and hurting more people?”

Peter does know that. He watches the news as often as he can, he’s got access to files and information through Tony and FRIDAY even if he’s not technically supposed to see it.

He knows it and he hates it. He keeps tabs on all the criminals and he gives them the benefit of the doubt, hoping the close run-in with the cops will get them to turn good, but it rarely works out that way.

Peter keeps his mouth shut, testing the chains that hold him to one of the four glass walls, metal freezing cold on his wrists, but they’re too strong.

“There’s an obvious solution here, spider,” the man says condescendingly. He taps at one of the two guns that sit against his hips. “Bullet right in the forehead. Get the job done for real.”

Frowning, the young hero shakes his head. “That’s not right-”

“If you don’t, you’re letting these criminals walk free.” The man, shakes his head, leaning up against the glass. The name tag on his shirt reads David Walker.

“That doesn’t mean I can start killing people just because they did something wrong.”

David scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Let’s start with a man you webbed up three months ago, alright? His name was Scott Paterson. Scott’s a drug dealer, he’s got a few counts of assault under his belt, even had a charge of arson. You caught him three months ago in a drug deal gone wrong. Scott was webbed up and we collected him. He was out on the streets again within two days.”

Peter doesn’t remember Scott. He believes David, but it’s hard to remember specific names or crimes that he stops on the daily.

“Two weeks ago, we found Scott in his apartment,” David continues. “He had been in the process of moving out of state to avoid being caught because he’d killed two guys who were witnesses to Scott’s crimes.”

Guilt rushes through Peter, settling amongst all the other buckets of guilt he’s stored deep within his conscience. He knows this kind of thing happens, he does, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

David leans against the glass, hands splayed out. “Those two deaths are on your hands, Spider. Two women are now widows, three children are fatherless, thanks to you.”

“I didn’t want-”

“It doesn’t matter what you want, Spider,” David tsks. “If you had killed Scott instead of leaving him for us to deal with, those families wouldn’t have lost those men, and Scott would’ve gotten what he had coming. Isn’t that the better outcome? Just think of how many deaths are on your hands if over thirty percent of the criminals you webbed up are still commiting crimes.”

Peter flinches, not wanting to think about blood on his hands, reminding him of Ben and all the citizens he couldn’t save no matter how hard he tried.

But David won’t stop now. “Wouldn’t it be better if the precious hero stopped failing? Wouldn’t it be better for you to rid the streets of all criminals, not just the ones that us cops can put behind bars for a couple of years? Wouldn’t it be better if you protected your civilians and your city, Spider-Man?”

“I can’t just kill every person who’s done something wrong! I can’t just start pulling the trigger every time somebody steps out of line! Wouldn’t that make me just as bad as them?”

“You’re already a menace, Spider-Man, do you really want to be a failure too? If you don’t kill them, they’ll just hurt more people and then it’s on you.”

Tears are welling in Peter’s eyes against his will because this isn’t right. Tony’s always said that Peter’s morals rival those of Captain America. That Peter was always good, simply put. And Peter believed it. He was a hero, after all.

David’s face softens a fraction, a frown tugging at his mouth. “Alright, let’s make this easier for you, okay?”

He turns down the hallway, they seem to be in some cliché abandoned warehouse, only the glass blocking Peter away from David, but Peter doesn’t have to try to know the glass isn’t normal glass, and the handcuffs holding him down aren’t regular handcuffs.

Peter takes the second of solitude to check himself over. He’s wearing the t-shirt and jeans he had on when he was walking to school, he guesses only a few hours earlier. His phone, watch, and backpack all missing. Even his shoes were gone. He doesn’t feel hurt at all, other than the headache from being knocked out.

David’s a police officer. There’s no way of knowing how many others are working with him, if he could’ve wiped any security tapes, if he could’ve taken them somewhere non-disclosed where even Tony couldn’t find them.

The cuffs must be vibranium, refusing to break no matter how hard Peter tugs at them. It’s January too. The abandoned warehouse isn’t about to have heating, so the frigid air makes sense. Peter shivers just thinking about the cold seeping into him.

“Alright, Spider.” David’s voice returns. He emerges back into Peter’s view, but this time, he’s dragging a body along with him.

David shoves the door to the glass enclosure open and tosses the body to the floor by Peter’s feet.

“Meet Scott Paterson, Spider-Man,” David says, a grin stretching across his face.

Scott’s face is enough to trigger the memory of him. There was shouting behind a bar when Peter was on his way home, so Peter went and webbed both Scott and another guy up. He left them with the drugs as evidence along with the knife Scott had pulled out.

His face is a little beaten up, blood dripping from his split lip onto the ground but his eyes are wild with confusion and fear, hands shaking in the plain handcuffs holding his wrists behind his back.

“We’re going to play a little game, alright?” David pulls one of the guns out of his pocket along with a roll of duct tape.

Peter’s shivering steadily and his head is pounding, vibranium holding his wrists in front of him, so there’s not much he can do as David tapes the gun to Peter’s hand, covering his hands and fingers in the silvery tape, index finger on the trigger.

“You’ve got one bullet in there,” David explains, taking a step back to admire his handiwork.

He pulls Scott to his knees, draws the second gun and holds the barrel to Scott’s temple.

“Wait a second-” Scott gasps, biceps straining as he tries to get away, out of the handcuffs, out of the grip on his collar.

“Now, here’s the game, Spider.” The click of the safety. “Put your bullet in his forehead.”

Peter tugs at his restraints harder, shaking his head as tears rush into his eyes. “I can’t- I can’t just kill him!”

“The blood is already on your hands, Spider. If you don’t kill him, I will, and it’ll be your fault. Or you kill him.”

Scott’s wild eyes lock onto Peter’s. “Please, man, I’m not- I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I got caught up with this awful dude who was threatening my daughter, and I did what he told me to do to keep her safe. You gotta- Please, man, I can’t die. Don’t- Don’t let me die.”

Peter’s heart clenches, hands shaking as he lifts the gun, a tear already tracing its way down his frozen cheeks. He turns the gun towards David.

“Do it, coward,” David says, lifting his eyebrows. “You’re just a coward, Spider. If you kill me, my death will be on you, but you’d save Scott. If you don’t, I’ll kill Scott and it’ll be your fault. Either way, somebody dies and the blame is put on you.”

Shaking his head again, Peter can’t convince himself to speak around the lump in his throat, worried that if he opened his mouth, a sob would escape.

David shoves the gun harder against Scott’s temple, glaring at Peter. “Your choice, kid. Me or him.”

“Please, man, you’ve gotta believe me,” Scott pleads, tears streaking down his flushed cheeks. “I know I did bad things, but I’m not a bad guy. My daughter’s dance recital is tomorrow and I- I promised I’d go for her. Please.”

Peter’s hands are trembling as he points the gun up at David, chains pulling taut. “You don’t have to do this. You could put down the gun and we could all walk out of here.”

But there’s no sympathy in David’s face, no care, just the same nonchalance. “You’ve got three seconds or I’m killing Scott.”

Three.

There’s no way out. There’s no way to change the outcomes of this. Somebody’s going to die. Either Peter kills somebody, or Peter lets somebody kill someone. Either way, it’s on Peter. Either way, Peter will leave here a murderer. No better than David or Scott. No better than the people he puts in prison every day. No better than the man who killed Ben that night all those years ago, the one that Peter spent months obsessively tracking. No better than the worst of the worst.

Two.

Either way, Peter’s a killer.

One.

* Peter startles awake when he feels hands on his shoulders, shaking him hard. He gasps, cold and sweating and crying, not shivering because he’s long since stopped shivering in this stupid fucking glass prison, but trembling from the anxiety that still thrums through his veins, the adrenaline crashing.

“Oh fuck, kid, I thought- You weren’t moving and I- I thought-”

“Tony?” His voice breaks on a sob, tears frozen against his cheeks, and the gun is still taped to his hand, still warm against his palm. “Get it off, get it- get it off, please, I can’t-”

Tony’s quick to grab a knife handed to him from somewhere behind Peter, probably Natasha, and cutting the weapon away from Peter’s palm.

There’s blood and glass everywhere. Peter peeks over Tony’s shoulder, barely able to contain the hoarse sob that escapes him when he sees the unconscious figures.

“Are they-”

“One of them was,” Tony responds shortly. “The other one passed out from shock, he’ll be fine.”

But that’s not better.

Peter pulled the trigger.

He was the one that put a bullet in another man’s head.

He was the one who took the life from a human being.

Peter hides his face against Tony’s shoulder, stomach twisting at the flashes of blood and shattering glass and feeling the recoiling gun.

His head gets stuck in a loop of percentages, of statistics. Thirty percent of criminals. He wonders how many police are like David, how many of them would push Peter to murder. He wonders what the statistics are for people he’s saved versus those the police have saved. If Peter’s really making a difference of not. He wonders, in another universe where he never became Spider-Man, if Queens would be better off.

It doesn’t matter though, alternate universes and statistics, because Peter killed a man. Because there’s a dead body only feet away from him and the gun is only inches away from his fingertips, glass shards littering the floor and digging into his knees and shins.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the car and back to Bruce, okay?” Tony says, voice soft and low. His hands are much too careful against Peter’s shoulders and thumbs running over his cheekbones and fingertips brushing back his hair.

Peter doesn’t answer, doesn’t think he could even if he wanted to, throat clogged up with grief and crushing guilt.

He doesn’t deserve any of it. He doesn’t deserve Tony and his soft words and softer touches, doesn’t deserve the luxury of seeing a doctor and getting patched up, doesn’t deserve safety and warmth. He deserves to be behind bars for this. He killed a man.

Tony leads him up to his feet, careful to position himself between Peter and David’s body, it doesn’t matter because the image is already scarred into Peter’s memory.

The world is too bright, sun bouncing off the snow and into Peter’s eyes before Tony slips a pair of sunglasses on him. The world goes dim and dark, and Peter lets Tony lead him forward and maneuver his pliant limbs into the car.

He hears Happy say something to him, but he sounds distant. Underwater.

Tony’s fingertips are on his face, pushing his curls back and smoothing his thumbs over Peter’s temples. “Sleep, kid. It’ll be okay.”

Peter doesn’t believe it’ll be okay, doesn’t know how Tony could, but he rests his head against the window anyways and spends the drive trying his best not to think about the glass against his head and in his skin.

Peter doesn’t answer many of Bruce’s questions, but thankfully, the doctor is kind and limits his questions to yes or no answers where he can.

Tony sits at his side while Bruce takes the glass out of him and stitches up the deeper wounds, putting butterfly bandages over the rest.

And then Peter’s led back up to the penthouse where May arrives, bundling him up in a tight hug before getting a sandwich in front of him.

He eats even though his food tastes like nothing and it’s hard to swallow around the lump in his throat that doesn’t seem to leave. He can’t get the image of Scott’s crying face and David’s body dropping to the floor, gun going off and hitting one of the glass walls, effectively shattering it.

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony murmurs sitting down across from Peter and pushing a cup of water towards him.

Peter doesn’t know if Tony did it intentionally, but the cup is a colorful plastic one, not glass.

“Thanks,” Peter says, coughing to cover up the effort it takes to stop himself from bursting into tears again.

“I know this is a bad time and I shouldn’t be asking you anything this soon, but the man’s at the hospital with Nat and Steve, and they’re wondering what they should do with him,” Tony says. “He says it’s your decision whether or not you want him in prison.”

Scott’s giving Peter the decision. Another decision. Maybe that means Peter did a good job the first time Scott’s life was put in his hands.

Either way, he doesn’t want to make the decision. He doesn’t know if he’s psychologically capable of making another big decision like this one.

“Send him home,” Peter says, voice robotic and not quite his own. “Wasn’t his fault.”

Tony lifts an eyebrow. He’s always been overly-curious. Someone incapable of holding in the questions he wants answers to, so it’s not surprising when he says, “It wasn’t his fault that there’s a dead police officer on our hands now?”

It’s not his fault. He probably assumed the gun on the ground meant that Scott shot David, not Peter who shot him. He probably saw the gun taped to Peter’s hand and automatically assumed it couldn’t have been him.

“No,” Peter says shortly, taking a sip of the water and trying his best not to draw attention to his violently trembling hands. Water sloshes over the edge of his cup onto the table. “Scott’s not a bad guy.”

He doesn’t say that he doesn’t think David was the bad guy either. He doesn’t say that he thinks Peter’s the bad guy.

“Okay, I’ll let them know,” Tony says, looking at Peter like he’s going to ask another hundred questions to get to the bottom of this.

“I’m going to my room.” Peter stands up abruptly, arm jerking like it expects to be held down by the chains from earlier. He almost forgets to put down his cup and when he does, he forgets to reign in his strength and the cup breaks, spilling water over the table.

Instead of dealing with any of his obviously unusual actions, he just nods at the mess he’s made like he did it on purpose and walks to his bedroom.

He doesn’t want to deal with any of it. His skin is crawling and his lungs feel like they’ve collapsed. And he knows what that feels like.

He wishes he could talk to Ben.

Ben would know what to do, what to say. He always did. May’s good and Peter loves her, he does, but she always used to let Ben deal with the emotional side of things. After Mary and Richard died, Ben would be the one to comfort him after nightmares and he was the one who would drag out old photo albums and hold Peter while he cried. May was the one to put the funeral together and she did his laundry and cooked them food and offered any support she could.

But Ben’s not there anymore. He isn’t there to be the elaborate story-teller he used to be, making up voices and gesticulating wildly until he got Peter to fall into a giggle fit. He isn’t there to tuck Peter into a warm blanket, make Ben’s Special Hot Chocolate, and do jigsaw puzzles with him in the middle of the night. Ben’s not there.

“Yorke Construction, how can I help you?”

Peter jerks, fingers clutching the phone against his ear. He hadn’t realized he’d called.

“Um, sorry- I shouldn’t have-”

The lady’s voice softens. “Are you okay?”

It’s not the same person who used to pick up the phones at Ben’s work when he did work there.

“I shouldn’t have called, I just-”

“Are you okay?” she repeats gently. “Are you trying to reach someone?”

Peter resolve crumples and he tries to hide the obvious tears in his voice. “My uncle used to work there, he doesn’t anymore. I shouldn’t have called, I’m sorry, it was an accident.”

“No worries at all.”

Peter hangs up before he can say anything else, and he lets his phone fall to his bed, curling up in his blankets as he cries.

* Ben used to want to be a police officer, Peter remembers. He got accepted into the academy, but he never ended up going. He didn’t have the money and he hated how much Mary and May worried about him, even if he hadn’t become a police officer yet. Instead, he went into construction.

He always talked about one day building May a house in the countryside. He liked building things, was super smart. Peter thinks that’s where he got his desire to build.

He wonders if things would be different if Ben were a police officer like David was. Ben would’ve been hundreds of times better than David.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony murmurs, walking in. He winces, probably noticing the tearstains or maybe the blood he’s drawn from biting his lip. “How’re you holding up?”

He sits at the end of Peter’s bed, gently rubbing his shins where his wounds have all healed from the broken glass. Peter turns his eyes to the ceiling.

“It wasn’t Scott,” Peter says.

“I know.” Tony’s voice doesn’t hold any anger, any hurt, any betrayal. He’s been the one saying Peter’s the most morally sound person he’s ever met, he should be angry that Peter’s killed a man.

“It was me.”

Tony nods. “I know.”

Ben would’ve been angry. He was always better. The best. Peter imagines himself holding the gun at Ben, not a bystander like he was that night. He thinks of murder and blood and glass shattering. Of Ben’s body dropping the same way David’s did.

“I’m- I’m a murderer, Tony.”

“Scott said that you saved his life,” Tony offers. He shifts back on the bed to rest his back against the wall, propping Peter’s feet up in his lap.

Peter swallows thickly. “He wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it weren’t for me. If I hadn’t webbed him up three months ago, he wouldn’t have ended up on the police’s radar at all.”

“You wanna tell me what happened in there?”

From his tone, Tony’s not expecting a story. But Peter wants Tony to yell at him, to hate him for what he’s done. Peter thinks Tony will understand if he hears the statistics, if he hears how Peter failed again and again, how dozens of people are dead because of him, and how David’s blood is on his hands.

In his strange state of mind, confused and focused on all the wrong things, Peter forgets to leave out the details like he normally does. How he always does. He leaves in the gory details by accident because he can’t think straight, and he’s pretty sure some of the details he tells are of Ben’s death and not David’s, but he isn’t sure.

“You didn’t have a choice, Peter,” Tony says, voice somehow still staying soft and low, thumb still rubbing his ankle, expression still full of care. “He didn’t give you a choice.”

“I held a gun and I shot somebody, Mister Stark. How is that not my fault?”

Tony sighs, long and tired like he isn’t sure how much he wants to fight this fight. “Listen, kid, I know you have a guilt complex the size of America, so I don’t know how I can ever convince you that this wasn’t your fault, but nobody’s mad at you regardless.”

“I’m a killer!” Peter exclaims angrily, sitting up in bed and glaring at Tony through his tears. “How the fuck can you argue that I did anything right today?”

“Because I know you, kid, and I know you didn’t have a choice. And let’s say you did, okay? Let’s say, you had a choice and you chose to kill him. You know what? I still love you. Nothing could make me not love you, kid. Nothing could make me hate you.”

Peter presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. “But I’m a killer.”

“I’ve had people die because of me,” Tony says. “Lots of people that I tried to save and couldn’t. Lots of people that died because I made mistakes on the job. And I know you don’t believe I would’ve, but I nearly killed that fucker last year that hurt you. If it weren’t for Rhodey that night, I would’ve killed him.”

“You were protecting me.” Peter doesn’t know how to wrap his head around any of it. “That makes it different. You’re not a killer, Mister Stark.”

Tony shrugs, sending him a sad smile. “You were protecting Scott and yourself. Plus, you weren’t given a choice, bud. You had that gun taped to your hand. That’s not a choice.”

“That doesn’t make it okay. I still- I still killed him. I still shot the gun. I still watched-” Peter cuts himself off, brain stuck in a loop of David dropping to the floor and Ben’s hands coming up to cover the wound as he sunk to the ground and glass shattering.

“Maybe not,” Tony shrugs again. “Even if we were in that hypothetical that you killed somebody in cold blood. And I’ll repeat, hypothetical. I think you’ve saved enough people to make up for it. What the NYPD and the legal system do with the criminals, what the criminals do if they get back on the streets, that doesn’t fall on your shoulders.”

Peter sniffles, too tired to keep arguing it. His guilt has settled enough to think a little bit straighter, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to make it go entirely away.

“Plus,” Tony continues, patting his kid’s ankle. “You should know, Scott spent this morning at his daughter’s dance recital. Her name’s Anne, I learned, and she’s very happy her favourite superhero saved her dad.”

Later, Anne and Scott will send letters with their thanks for allowing them to stay together. For choosing both Scott’s survival and for not sending him to prison.

For now, Peter pulls his feet away from Tony to instead curl up against his side, tucking his face against his father-figure’s shoulder, hiding away his tears.

“You know,” Tony says eventually, arms tight around Peter. “When we found you, you were so cold, so pale… There was so much blood.”

“Hm?” Peter responds, too tired to try for a real conversation.

Tony sniffs. “I thought you were dead for a second. We got there and there was only one heat signature and it was Scott, and the blood made me think you were dead too. I thought- I thought I had lost you.”

Peter hums in response, nuzzling closer to Tony.

“If David wasn’t already dead, I would’ve killed him.”

It’s a strange thing to bring comfort to Peter, but he trusts Tony, he believes Tony. And he lets Tony burden some of the guilt that’s stored in him. He lets go of some of it, believing that Tony will always catch him when he falls.

* Peter visits Ben’s grave that evening.

He figures it’s only fair. He’s got a lot of guilt to work through, but he knows Tony’s going to be there every step of the way, and May’s going to continue being there for him too.

He doesn’t say anything, scared that his words would never be enough to mean anything, to amount to what he thinks and feels. He doesn’t know how to articulate any of his thoughts into anything real.

Instead, he lays the blueprints down on the dirt. He dug through storage until he found them. For the house Ben was going to build May one day. It’s a silent promise, that if he can do anything for Ben, he can do this.

He’ll try to keep the streets safe, he’ll try to be a superhero, he’ll try to be the person Ben always wanted him to be.

But he will build the house for May. He will let Tony take care of him the way Ben would’ve wanted him to. He will learn to forgive himself how he knows Ben has.

{I’ll be starting a taglist officially the next fic I post, so if you wanna be added let me know}

[lloftvlly]

DabiShi cheating Headcanons

because i feel angsty 

Dabi cheating on Shigaraki

Shigaraki will freak the fuck out

yell and possibly throw things, maybe cry out of anger

this man doesn't give second chances so he’ll never want to see Dabi again

he kicks Dabi out of the league, deadass. even if he’s one of the league’s best assets but, for once, he has to be selfish

he doesn't want to be reminded that his trust, which he doesn’t hand out easily, has been met with betrayal and Dabi’s face is a constant reminder of that, so he has to stay far away

and Dabi does exactly that, he stays away. 

Shigaraki hates that he wishes Dabi would have at least tried to get him to forgive him. it fuels his rage even more that he just ...leaves

he will never trust anyone again, even the rest of the league has to feel it when he becomes more detached from them

now all his relationships are only “business” anymore

if he finds out who Dabi cheated with, yes, he will put them on his hit list. everything he hates has to be destroyed, so naturally, this person has to be destroyed too.

Dabi is on the same list with a question mark next to his name, because as much as he hurt him, he can’t bring himself to hurt him back ... but he really wants to 

and if Dabi shows his face to him again, he actually might

Shigaraki cheating on Dabi

a deadpan “oh” is his first reaction

his second reaction is “good for you, getting more dick” 

then he goes about his day pretending nothing is wrong

but it eats at him 

he will search the fault in himself “i wasn’t good enough so he found someone else” 

it drives Tomura crazy that he acts like nothing happened, he would rather the other would get mad at him, yell at him, punch him if he must. as long as he would show that he cares

but he won’t. when did showing that he cares ever make things better? it already happened and he couldn’t change it now

he doesn’t want to know who the person Shigaraki cheated with is but if for any reason he finds out, it’s barbeque time

unhealthy coping mechanisms. he gets shitfaced, seeks out people for one-night stands, commits arson... all just to let out his bent up frustration somehow

only weeks later he will eventually show up to Shigaraki’s doorstep, fucked up, and crying blood as he grabs the other’s collar

“fuck you for breaking me when you were supposed to make me feel whole again” 

it breaks Shigaraki too

[thinkyoureholy]

Love Shot [2]

.

.

.

When does a dream stop being a dream? When does a dream become reality?

Pairing : Do Kyungsoo / [Fem] Reader

Genre : Angst, Violence, Fluff, Smut, Character Death? Detective! AU, Mafia! AU

Words : 2.1k

Pt 1. Pt 2. Pt 3. Pt 4. Pt 5. Pt 6.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

-Y/N’s P.O.V-

I stood back with my arms crossed over my chest as I leaned against the wall. I watched him change out of his uniform and into regular clothes, frowning at where he was about to go. It took a few days to implement the plan the chief had thought of but now that it was the day he was supposed to leave I was feeling apprehensive, angry, and unsure of this whole thing. I hated how he kept saying he was easily replaceable when he wasn’t. To me he was irreplaceable, no one would be able to take his place and I hated how he took this so lightly.

He sighed heavily when he noticed the look in my eyes, running his hand through his hair, “Y/N-”

“Nothing you say will make me okay with this.” I said quickly, cutting him off in a cold voice.

“If you’re gonna be pissed at me fine. I don’t regret stepping up, I’ve told you this time and time again. I’m not stepping down. Either I’m the one that goes in or no one does.” He said, his eyes burning with a fire I’ve only seen a handful of times.

I said nothing as I let my hands fall to my sides, averting my gaze and giving my back to him, “Hurry up. Everyone’s waiting outside. Chief said Niko and Juzo will be the ones to take you as close to their place as possible. They’re the ones in charge of this one.”

I began walking towards the door but stopped when I heard his voice call out to me. His voice was soft, barely above a whisper but it was enough to have me freeze in my spot. The sound of his voice tugged at my heartstrings, his next words making me frown.

“So you’re just gonna go like that, huh? No goodbye, nothing?”

I clenched my hands into fists at my side, closing my eyes for a brief moment, “I’m not saying goodbye. Goodbyes are too final and I-” I cut myself off as I felt my emotions beginning to take hold of me, “I don’t want to say goodbye, not to you.”

Not even ten seconds later I felt his hand grab a hold of my wrist, turning me around to face him and wrapping his arms around me. I kept my hands at my sides for a few seconds before giving in and wrapping my arms around him tightly. I didn’t want to touch him because I knew once I did I’d never want to let him go. I’ve been keeping my distance these last few days but now that he was in my embrace I just held on tighter and tighter, not wanting to let him walk out that door. He wouldn’t be able to come home until this whole thing was over, only being able to rendezvous with us every few days for an hour max.

“Then at least a see you later?”

I let out a small laugh, slapping his back lightly and drawing a chuckle from his lips. He pulled away from the hug to cup my face in both his hands gently, his thumb rubbing my cheek, “I’ll be fine. I’ll come back to you the same way I left...I promise.”

Without wasting another second he sealed the promise he just made with a kiss.

-

Junmyeon grinned at the sight of him, the smirk on his face spreading as he looked around the room. The others gathered around him to greet him, Junmyeon making his way down the stairs slowly as he took in the sight before him. Once at the bottom he called out to the man, Junmyeon’s eyes meeting his. Without hesitation the two embraced warmly, Junmyeon resting his hands on the shoulders of the man that stood in front of him. It had been years since the two were able to stand before each other like this.

“Man did I miss you.” Junmyeon said with a grin, watching a familiar glimmer in the man’s eyes shine through.

“You don’t know how great it feels to be back.” He replied with a grin of his own.

-

I bounced my leg up and down anxiously, trying to focus on the task at hand but my mind kept wandering. My temporary partner looked over at me when the car began to shake.

“Can you stop with that? People are going to think we’re up to something in here.” Chanyeol said, glaring over at me.

I didn’t give him a response but stopped like he asked. I couldn’t get my mind off of Kyungsoo, focusing on the stake out we were doing proved to be difficult. The chief put me on a different case while we waited for Kyungsoo to get back to us with any intel, making Chanyeol my partner for the time being. We were investigating a homicide case, the evidence pointing to the boyfriend but we needed more proof, something more solid to nail him. The prosecutor wanted us to catch him in the act so to speak. He had already been a suspect of two previous murders but the court refused to acknowledge the evidence, saying circumstantial evidence wasn’t enough to convict a man of murder.

“Have I ever told you how much I hate our justice system?”

“Yeah and you serve that justice system.” Chanyeol replied, sounding bored as he stared out the window, “It’s not like we can change it. We might be the best damned detectives this country has ever seen but that’s all we’ll ever be. We’ll never be taken seriously for anything and be told to get back to doing our jobs. This country is all kinds of fucked up...all countries are.”

I sat back as I let his words sink in but I didn’t get to ponder too much over it as we saw the suspect step out onto the street from his apartment building. I could see a grin spread across Chanyeol’s face as he clicked his tongue, the two of us climbing out of the car and following after him. We kept our distance, making sure he didn’t see us. Every time he turned to look over his shoulder Chanyeol and I had to make it seem like we were focused on other things, going back to following him the moment he turned forward again. We had been following him for a good fifteen minutes when a woman walked out of a building and got in his way. By the way he spoke to her we guessed that they knew each other. The longer they spoke the more familiar her face was starting to seem to me. My eyes widened as I cursed under my breath, grabbing onto Chanyeol’s shirt and dragged him with me as I hid behind the wall of a nearby building.

“What the hell is she doing here?” I asked mostly to myself as I pulled out my phone.

“You know her?”

“Its Sooyoung.” I said before addressing the person I was calling, “Jungho check out Kim Minseok’s records. Does he know a Kim Sooyoung?”

“Got it.” Was his only response, the sound of his fingers typing away on his keyboard the only thing I heard for a few seconds before his voice came through, “Nothing. They didn’t go to school together, shared friends or acquaintances, absolutely nothing links these two.”

“Fucking bitch.” I cursed under my breath before saying a quick thanks to Jungho and hanging up.

I leaned over and peeked into the alleyway only to curse once more when I noticed they were gone. Chanyeol took a peek as well, surprised to see them gone, “Where the hell did they go?”

“They’re recruiting.” I said before heading back to the car ,ignoring his question.

……

I pushed open the door to the meeting room; Niko, Juzo, the chief, and Jungho already inside as Chanyeol followed in after me. I didn’t bother with greetings as I walked to the front of the room, pulling over the board and beginning the paste the pictures up onto it.

“They’re recruiting. Or they’ve been gathering members from under our noses this whole time.” I said, pointing over to the picture closest to me and listing them by name, “Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongdae, Oh Sehun, and now Kim Minseok. They’ve been gathering people, ones we’ve been looking for. Between all of them they’ve committed murder, arson, robbery, and hacked into federal databases. This is why we’ve never caught any of them. Sooyoung is sent out to get these guys and the leader of their group integrates them into the group and helps hide them from us, this is why they’ve become more of a nuisance over time.”

Everyone thought over what I had just said, the concern evident on their faces. It all made sense, why we could never arrest them. Every lead we had on them seemed to disappear and we were never able to get close to them ever again.

“Or they were always apart of their group. Think about it; a murderer, an arsonist, a burglar, and a hacker? Those are all necessary personnel to have when in the mafia. These may have just committed the crimes we know of on their own and the idiots left evidence behind.  Why would the leader risk having them rat him and the others out?” Chanyeol said, grabbing everyone’s attention, “Sooyoung wouldn’t reveal her identity to them so easily unless they already know each other. We only know her identity  because you got lucky enough to get her mask off the last time you were chasing her and the cameras happened to be recording.”

“How many members are in this group?” Jungho asked

“Ten.” Juzo answered immediately before continuing, “There could be more but we’ve only seen ten so far.”

“This is a lot bigger than we thought.” The chief said, with a heavy sigh, “Y/N I’m putting you back on this case, Chanyeol you join them as well. We need all five of you on this.”

With that he left, leaving us on our own. Niko and Juzo immediately began to tell us all they knew but I couldn’t focus. My mind was on Kyungsoo. He was in there, with those types of people all by himself. If he was found out I know they’d kill him no questions asked, but not before they made him suffer before hand. I frowned as I stared down at the table in front of me, zoning out of the conversation entirely.

-

“Did you really think we didn’t know? How much of an idiot do you take me for?” He asked, kicking his leg out.

Kyungsoo let out a groan and curled in on himself as he lay on the ground, blood coming out of his mouth. He coughed violently for a few seconds before spitting the blood onto the floor. He looked up and gave the man a smirk, the man staring down at him in contempt. The man leaned down and grabbed onto Kyungsoo’s collar and lifted off the floor slightly before delivering a swift punch to his face. He punched him over, and over again until his eye had swelled up, his lip busted open and blood flowed out of his nose. Kyungsoo seemed to be having trouble breathing as his breaths started becoming more and more labored. The man above his chuckled at the sight, letting Kyungsoo fall back to the ground as he took a step back. He wore a wicked grin before raising his foot and stomping down onto Kyungsoo's leg. Kyungsoo let out a cry of agony, the snap of his bone breaking echoed off the walls.

-

My eyes flew open as I gasped, sitting up in bed immediately. I looked around in a panic, trying to feel around for Kyungsoo but when I didn't feel him my heart dropped. My breathing sped up as I grabbed my head in my hands, bringing my knees to my chest. The image of him bloodied on the floor with I don't know how many broken bones and injuries refusing to leave my mind. I knew it was just a dream but it seemed so real like it was a memory instead of a simply dream. I reached over to my nightstand quickly, grabbing my phone and dialing his number. I was halfway through dialing when I remembered he left his personal phone behind, seeing it laying on the nightstand. I couldn't stop the tears from escaping as I thought back to the dream, my heart constricting in my chest as not being able to hear his voice, to know that he was okay.

“Please...please be okay.”

[davisonqad-blog]

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