#the church of starry children

[crapload-of-crafts]

The complete Hatchetfield-verse poster set

All of these are up on my Redbubble if you would like to buy a sticker or poster of these designs!!!

[itsdefinitely]

Hey!!! I love your art sm!!!!!

I was wondering: can you draw Ted being possessed by Tinky or Bill being possessed by Blinky (or both)?

Have a great day!!!!!!!

normal guys in normal scenarios

also

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

eldritch horrors are so dreamy <33333333 😍😍😍

[its-short-for-jackalope]

the hilarious and startling contrast between the summoning of the Lords w/ the Black Book and the Lords' actual arrival is my favorite thing

like the LiB are all such feral chaotic bastards, how much do you think the Church of the Starry Children s t r u g g l e d with trying to seem all cool and serious and dark and cult-y when the Lords they worship insist on being holographic, technicolor nightmares with zero chill?

i hope they struggled a lot 🥰 like I hope they struggled sooo much 🥰 just constantly 🥰

edit: forgot that it's church not cult lol, my b.

[kairithemang0]

Ok ok so there's this wikipedia list of every fandom and the name for it's fandom

List of fandom names - Wikipedia

It's honestly a fun list to just read through but that's not the point

The point is that someone should edit this list and we should make the official name of the Hatchetfield fandom specifically "The Church of the Starry Children" or just "The Starry Children". It's the name of the Waylons Cult for the Lords in Black, and literally just means Starkid when you think about it. Anyways I think it's an awesome fan name, thank you for coming to my ted spankoffski talk

[paul-situations-matthews]

Listen I need I need I need Artemis and Paul Schue-Horyn from Wayward Guide to investigate Hatchetfield like can you IMAGINE

[untowardsthoughts]

someone in a youtube comment pointed out the 'church of the starry children'

starry children -> star kid

and ive never been the same

[ace7librarian]

Idea for a nightmare time story: one of those tiktok channels of "clean this old house with me" except it's a hunted house in hatchetfield.

"we found these super old knives, brad thinks they look a little bit like sacrificial daggers but I think that if we clean them a little they can be usable"

"this rug is suuuuper hard to clean, for something reason it's full of blue goo, but it is soooo satisfying"

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Theory: Hannah's Birth Led to Steph's Mom Dying

Okay, this is a bit of a wild journey, but I promise it's at least somewhat thought-out if you're willing to bear with me for a bit. (Theory under the cut!)

I'm endlessly fascinated by the absence of the Church of the Starry Children (not a random opener, I promise). We're told multiple that times that "nothing that dies in Waylon Hall ever truly dies," and we learn that the Waylons put a spell in place to essentially resurrect anyone killed on the house's property. We also learn that the Waylons and their followers all died in the house in 1979. So... where are they? Max was a singular teenager, and within two weeks he had the entirety of Hatchetfield whipped into a panicked frenzy. Surely an entire cult of evil zealots brought back from the dead and imbued with insatiable bloodlust would be even more noticeable. At the very least, their Number 1 Fan Roman and remaining widow Sheila would know that they were still out there, which is clearly not the case. So it's pretty undeniable that, despite their safety-measures, the Waylons and their followers are no longer around.

There are multiple potential reasons for this. The Hatchetmen have experience with such people. Perhaps they got around the spell by taking the Cult's bodies to the Witchwood and burying them there, though that doesn't seem hugely likely. Or maybe Miss Holloway took care of the Waylons back in the 80s. That timeline arguably kinda' sorta' works--Miss Holloway gave up her life as a pop star to become an immortal witch just a handful of years after the Waylons' deaths.

But then we have Solomon in Nerdy Prudes Must Die, who has the Black Book, but says that he will never touch it "ever again." This statement heavily implies that Solomon once summoned the Lords in Black, and the absence of Steph's mother implies that she was the price he paid. (Nick and Matt also give A LOT of credence to that theory in the Hatchetfield Halloween livestream.) Solomon also knows A LOT about Max, the spell that created him, and how to put an end to it. And sure, this could be second-hand knowledge passed down from previous mayors or Miss Holloway. But what if it's not? What if, in an eerie foreshadowing of his own daughter's future actions, Solomon Lauter was the one to summon the Lords in the Black and sacrifice the love of his life to stop the resurrected Waylons?

There's an obvious problem with this theory--the timeline. Judging by Max, it's likely that a whole cult of monstrous and monstrously powerful ghosts on the loose for 25 years would have been Apocalyptic long before the timelines had the chance to shatter.

So what if they weren't around? What if the Waylons' spell was not automatically triggered upon their deaths, but instead required activation? Perhaps, in their cult-y arrogance, Mathias and Agatha never imagined that every single one of their followers would be wiped out alongside them. Maybe the Starry Children were supposed to return to the Hall upon the Waylons' deaths and activate the magic. With the Cult massacred, there was no one left with the knowledge to complete the ritual and resurrect the dead, leaving them in limbo.

And then Hannah enters the scene, born the same year that Solomon performs his Summoning. We know from Wilbur that Hannah is basically a nuclear power plant. What if her birth, together with the massive burst of energy as Lex activated her powers to save her sister, (and also maybe PEIP's portal playing whatever role it played,) was enough to do for the Waylons as Hannah would later do for Willabella Muckwab? What if Hannah's nuclear battery existence automatically served to complete the Waylons' spell, activate the house (leaving it primed for Max's return from the grave), and release the Waylons onto the unsuspecting town? Leaving Solomon, town Mayor, sentinel at the gates of hell, to work alongside Miss Holloway and her Black Book, discover the truth of the Waylons, and summon the Lords in Black for help. And maybe Miss Holloway, still in the middle of her own deal, was unable to make another, separate one, leaving Solomon to give up what he treasured most...and murder Steph's mother.

(And maybe the little girl she left behind is nothing but a reminder of his loss and his guilt.)

(Update: lmao @thatdelusionalnerd just described this as "far-fetched but still makes quite a bit of sense" and I just wanted to acknowledge that because I feel like that's my sweet spot with Hatchetfield theories. Arguments that are absolutely bananas and almost definitely not true, but to my own consternation kinda' work nonetheless.)

[down-in-hatchet-town]

(Unofficial) Map of Hatchetfield

The Hatchetfield Tourism Committee would like to welcome all visitors who are in town for this year’s Honey Festival! Please enjoy this map of all the local hot spots, along with the location of several of our sponsors.

Click the map to zoom in.

[wigglys-dikrats]

wait so who are the waylons because I genuinely have no clue

mathias and agatha waylon were two of the first followers of the lords in black in hatchetfield

they founded the church of the starry children, as well as built the town’s most important landmarks, revealed to be black altars where rituals written in the black book could be performed: the starlight theatre; the gazette, which would one day become CCRP; the old mill, now lakeside mall; the old schoolhouse, now hatchetfield high; and waylon hall, their home on which they put a spell so anyone who dies there doesn’t truly die

the waylons had the town in a chokehold for 150 years, until the people of hatchetfield (the hatchetmen, aka the ancestors of the metzgers we meet in perky’s buds) got sick of the waylons and their cult and burst through the doors of waylon hall and hacked them all to bits with hatchets

[crapload-of-crafts]

‘Honey Queen’ Poster (Version 2)

[itsdefinitely]

Consider this for LiB dating sim story:

The Lords of Black are forced by a higher being (likely their parent) to all find a bride, but luckily for them, the starry children already had them covered. . .

Offering up the MC as a bride, it's their job to cater to their every need

i read this ask and then thought about costuming for one (1) second before blacking out and making this

so um. now i've been stewing in my thoughts for a few hours

[kmesons]

me and my friends who have seen nerdy prudes must die were watching some of the major scenes with our friends who have not seen the musical, and after the dirty dudes must die scene one of my friends who hadn't seen it before turned to me and said "you've inducted me into the cult."

[paranormaltheatrekid]

IM WATCHING WORKING BOYS

[shadowbrightshine]

My gift to you @marvelmaniac715

Here's a little thing I made for that idea I was sharing with you. This is completely out of order from where I would want to start the story, but it's a thing I made as a little proof of concept. Unfortunately it's pretty rough, but I'm writing from a perspective of a self hating girl, and then a teen out of his depth. Once I write it proper, it'll feel more natural. For now, here is Cherry Lolly, or Janet from the Starry eyed children Revival, and Tim Hudson, the first prophet after the Lord's reformation you wrote. Say hi to the Homeless man! whoopies I wrote 2.5k words! enjoy everyoneeee. Fair warning, Janet's views on herself is not how I see things. Also Janet thinks in a more stilted way, so her narration is, like that. Reblogs appreciated!

Janet watched from the bush as Tim passed by with William. He’d changed since the accident that took away the use of his left leg. He was more confident and talked to everyone now. Janet watched him, him and the brightly colored friends he’d made. She didn’t mean to be creepy, but if anyone saw her they would run away. She knew that, she knew how hideous she was, with her top teeth covered in skin, a surgical adjustment and filter flap in her neck that made her look like a robot, not even a lower jaw to pretend to look like a normal girl. Her parents tried to tell her she was still pretty. The screams of those kids still haunted her and proved them wrong every single day she walked the earth. That’s why she had to hide in bushes and trees to watch the normal people go about their days. 

Tim had changed physically too. His fingers were longer, and his right leg was longer, she’d noticed his left leg drag less and less as the months went on, just slightly. She knew why, it had to do with William. She’d watched him and his brothers for a little while now. They weren’t normal, they could transform into new bodies. She would give her dominant arm up for a power like that. No one else remembered, but Tim used to have brown eyes. Whoever changed everyone’s minds must have forgotten her. No one remembers Janet. Tim used to have brownish eyes. Now one eye was a dull blue, and the other was still hazel now, it had a thick ring of green around it, and green near the pupil. No one else remembered, except for her. No one likes Janet but her parents, and they never tried to have another child, they learned their lesson. 

Janet felt gross. She was so gross watching others like this. But she couldn’t talk to them without revealing this awful deformity. She had to use her talk pad if she used the phone. Tim was special. Something was different about him now. She’d seen him give a present to the homeless man on Christmas Eve. She’d seen many things. She knew about Max Jagerman, the ghost of Hatchetfield who murdered her favorite girl. Ruth was the only other person she worked up the courage to interact with, and that was only a week before her death. Ruth didn’t care that she was disgusting, she’d called Janet pretty, she’d held hands with her, she even gave her these cherry hair clips she would never stop wearing. 

The brothers showed up on the night Max disappeared forever, and Janet could feel the shift in the air as time went on. The town was different now. They had something to do with it, and they could do things no one else could. Them and the sister, the girl who walked with Hannah. She’d tried to talk to Hannah, but her cowardice kept her back. Janet shivered, it was cold out and she didn’t have proper protection today. Wendy radiated warmth and a special magic, she could feel it. Janet crept back towards her home, the woods feeling more real to her than the town did. 

She carefully avoided crossing into the camp territory. She’d also watched girl Jeri and boy Jerry before. She was scared of the counselors. The adults didn’t seem to notice how strange they were, but she knew. She knew they were bad news, and she knew about little Jerry. He was nice to her, and she brought him muffins sometimes. Her family lived far away from the rest of the town. She knew why, it was because her parents were ashamed of her. That’s why they never went into town, or took her out to shop, or lived in town. They would lie and tell her it’s because this house was part of the family line. They told her lots of families lived in the woods. That part wasn’t a lie, she’d seen the other kids playing in the woods, but they couldn’t meet her. 

Janet was a monster, and she knew it. The only person other than her parents who was nice to her was a fellow monster. Normal people didn’t need to use a feeding line in her arm to stay alive. Normal people had tongues and chins and could talk. Normal people didn’t spend their days watching from the shadows. Normal people had friends. No one remembered the day she was born in the hospital and the nurses screamed in fear anymore. She knew she was a monster. But like a monster she couldn’t resist the draw of humanity. She wanted to be seen and loved. She spent hours writing in her notebooks, entire scripts, books, and stories. She’d explored every part of the forest. 

Tim was nice to the homeless man. No one was nice to him, everyone hated him and thought he was weird and gross. Janet had watched him stumble around and talk to himself all the time. She thought about trying to be his friend, but he’d probably assume she was a hallucination and ignore her. Better not to risk it. Tim though, Tim got him a gift, and he talked to him, and cared about him. Maybe…maybe he wouldn’t mock her. Maybe he would be nice to an animal like her. A monster like Janet. She had to try. 

Christmas Eve:

“Spare change for the homeless?” The man asked, it was one of the few things he could say easily. Tim shook his head and took a seat next to him. The homeless man scrambled to make room for him, staring at him with more  confused than usual eyes. Wiggly stood a few feet away, holding Tim’s crutches for him. The snow was thin here under the awning of the shoe store. Tim shivered, but his snow pants kept him dry. It was harder to get around in these, but they were warmer. 

Tim looked at the man’s shaking hands in the cold. “Do you have a name?” He asked, taking some gloves out of his pocket and handing them to the man. “Everyone walks past you and ignores you. I’ve seen you around since I was a baby.” The man used to speak more clearly, if just as strangely. Tim remembered when he would have conversations with random objects. Now his voice was really shaky and he couldn’t seem to form full sentences anymore.

The man struggled to get the gloves onto his hands, fingers numbed by cold and by some kind of disability that made all his movements strange or jerky. Maybe it was making his voice worse. Was it a degenerative condition? “A…A name…” He looked up at the sky, it was already getting dark, and the last bits of sunlight reflected off the clouds. “My na-naame, I had…” He shut his eyes. “I had a name…” He suddenly clutched his head and groaned. “I ca-can’t thinnnk about the pa’ anymore. Time hurts, it hurts!” 

Tim grabbed his arm in alarm. “Forget it, it’s ok! If you don’t have a name, maybe we can think of one!” 

The man uncurled and looked at the hand on his coated arm. No one had done that in years. “...A new one?” He rocked back and forth for a minute, eyes searching around for something. 

The teenager nodded, this wasn’t how he’d planned for this to go, but the homeless man needed help, and he wanted to help out if he could. “Yeah! Um…Uh…” He looked around and saw the holiday menu on the Beanie’s sign. “What about Noelle? Or maybe Noah if that’s too feminine?” The man scrunched up his face in concentration. 

“Noelle.” The man repeated the name a few times, each time less slurred than the last. “...I hav’a name now.” Noelle smiled, turning to Tim. “Thanks! That’s good stuff isn’t- yeah, pretty…good.” Tim watched how badly he was shivering. The cold was making things even worse. The cold makes your head foggy, or that’s what it does to Tim. A car went by, a green one. “Tim, thanks.” 

“How do you know my name?” 

“Whose…name?” Noelle looked around for another person, but they were the only ones on this street right now. He shivered and pulled his coat tighter over his body, and Tim noticed the buttons were all snapped or missing. Or the hole was torn and too big to keep the button in place. Noelle couldn’t close his coat anymore. 

Tim shook his head. “Never mind. Well, Noelle, I wanted to give you something. You’re broken, right? Your brain is broken, and you can’t do stuff normally anymore right? That’s why you do all those weird things all the time, and follow Peter around.” 

Noelle nodded. “Petey…” Tears formed in his eyes, which confused Tim, but he pushed forwards. He hadn’t planned this out very well, but something inside him told him to come to Noelle and help him. 

“Well, I’m broken too.” Tim gestured to his leg, which was currently sitting in an awkwardly painful position which Tim couldn’t feel. “My body got messed up, and I think my heart is broken, or…something inside me got broken when I was younger. See, broken people have to help each other.” Tim felt weird, this wasn’t how he usually talked, but he wasn’t sure if Noelle would understand him otherwise. Tim didn’t know how to explain these things. “I want to help you. If we don’t help each other, who will? Becky serves at the soup kitchen, but you always get there after it closes so she can’t give you anything.” He pulled out a gift wrapped box and offered it to Noelle. “So, maybe this will help.” 

Noelle happily took the box and looked at Tim. “New box!” 

“No, it’s in the box, it’s- it’s in the box Noelle.” Had Noelle ever been given a Christmas present before? Tim felt tears freeze on his cheeks. He should’ve done this years ago. Tim helped him unwrap the gift, revealing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles watch. “My uncle Wilbur always tells me that it’s important to keep the time, so maybe if you have a watch too you can get to the kitchen before it closes.” Tim felt self conscious. “Sorry, I thought it would be better to use a cheaper watch so I can replace it for you if it gets broken, and if I got an expensive one it might get stolen from you. Is this ok?” 

Noelle stared at the ticking clock, fascinated by it. “Tick…Tock…” He nodded distractedly and slipped the watch onto his wrist. “What time?” Noelle had a weird cast to his eyes as he looked at the watch-face. 

Tim waved for Noelle to look at him. “It’s from 4pm to 6pm, so from here-” He made the clock time with his arms. “To there. As long as you come during that time, we can help you.” Tim looked at Wiggly, and then back to the man. “If you need more help, I want you to do this special knock, and then I’ll know it’s you. Blinky says you won’t hurt me, and even if you tried, Wiggly wouldn’t let you. So knock on my window and I’ll wake up to help you.” Tim knocked on the wall in a simple but strange way. “Ok, you do it.” 

Noelle tried, messing it up a few times before he got it down. “...That?” 

“Yeah, just knock like that on my window. In the box is a map to my house, and where my window is. I wanna help you, but don’t come unless you really need me, ok?” Tim waved Wiggly over and dug his water bottle out of his bag. “And…You can have this too, so you can get water from the fountains and take it with you.” 

Noelle held the water bottle and box in his arms, crying as his face made a strange smile. “Tha’s really nice. Thank you!” His eyes cleared for a moment, as if he was actually seeing Tim. His voice changed, and it sounded really familiar. “Tim…You’re the Hudson kid, you used to go to Beanie’s all the time, and you had a donut every time we ran into each other. I was trying to ask out- out- I…” The cloudiness came back to him and the strange smile returned along with his normal voice. “...Thanks…” 

Tim swallowed and wiped his eyes, a little disturbed by the exchange. It was much weirder for him to have clarity and then go back to his usual than to just be strange. “Um…right. Well, well, merry Christmas Noelle. I hope you can get soup now. Goodbye.” 

“See’a kid! Merry merry merry- that. Merry!” He called as Wiggly gave him his crutches back and they headed home. Well, not home, but to Lex’s place for a Christmas party, with his Dad’s permission, of course.  

Wiggly glanced back at the man. “Do you know who he is?” Tim noticed the testing tone he had.

“No one knows who he is, or where he came from. I feel bad for him… Do you know him, Wiggly?” 

His friend paused and shook his head. “No, Tim, I do not.” Tim looked at him, something felt off about his answer, but Wiggly didn’t usually hide things if it wasn’t for a good reason. “You did a very good thing friendy wend.” 

Tim smiled and accepted his friend’s silent offer to carry him back, the crutches held by semi transparent tentacles that sort of waved around them. “I feel much better, knowing he has some gloves now. Thanks for buying those.” 

“Mhm, now it’s time to open those presents you made us. I’ve very excited Timmly wim.” Tim snickered at the name and relaxed his neck, looking up at the sky. It was dark enough that no one would’ve been able to see Wiggly’s magic extra limbs anyways. 

“You’re going to love them. All of you. I spent a long time making these.” It was Tim’s idea to give the brothers and sister their presents on Christmas Eve so they could spend the day with their respective favorite people. Tinky had invited himself to Peter’s house for the day. 

Wiggly met his eyes and gave him a smile. “I have a few gifts for you as well, and I think you’ll like them.” Wiggly’s smile stretched to a grin. “You may need some more wrapping paper.” 

Tim grinned back. “You’re the best, you know that right?” 

“Of course I do. I’m the king of Hatchetfield.” He gestured to the crown with a tentacle, which was hidden and poking from under his winter cap. The hat didn’t do much since it wouldn’t fit over his head properly, but Tim thought it was funny and didn’t point out how useless the hat actually was. 

“Yep! Kings and Queens and all the inbetweens! Let’s go party!!” Tim cheered. The two continued to talk as they made their way to Lex’s house.