#the core is detachable as a beach ball

[langernameohnebedeutung]

@avidreaderffn

thought you should know about this

[extraordinarilyfadedmemories]

Let’s Have A Baby; Part III

Cordelia x Reader

Warnings: Not many just some office sex, NSFW

Summary: Pick up from Part II, featuring a quickie in Cordelia’s office and you tell the girls the big news!! Working on the next part now! I have some big plans for this series, and now that I have my head in the game, I can really get to writing.

Taglist: @scarlspookyszn @cordeliafoxxe​ @goodeday2u​ @cordeliasprincess​ @supremeinlilac​

Cordelia all but danced out of the doctor's office, and the air around you seemed to be thinner. The two of you just sat in the unstarted car, in silence, for almost 15 minutes. Your wife continuously repeating, "We're having a baby." A few tears falling from her eyes as she smiled, looking off into the distance. "We were gonna be parents", you thought to yourself as Cordelia leaned over and grabbed each side of your face. She kissed you rough, taking your bottom lip in between her teeth and letting her tongue gain entrance to your mouth.

You let the tears fall from your eyes as your emotions overwhelmed you, and Cordelia inched her face away from yours and brought her thumbs up to wipe your tears. "Have you figured out how we're going to tell the girls?" She said as she fixed herself in her seat and put her seatbelt on while starting the car. "Yeah, I think I have the perfect idea. Stop at the store on the way home." You said as you put your seatbelt on and the car pulled out of the parking lot.

At the grocery, you urged Cordelia to stay in the car as you ran inside to gather a few things. When you were done, you went back out to the car and the two of you headed back to the Academy. Cordelia had some things to finish up before the weekend, so she locked herself in her office for most of the day when you got home. That left you with plenty of time to get everything ready for the reveal. You took the supplies up to your bedroom and headed back down into the kitchen to break into the expensive wine cooler.

Grabbing a bottle, you headed back to the bedroom, but Zoe stopped you in the hallway. "Hey, is everything okay with you and Cordelia? I don't mean to pry I just-" you cut Zoe off and chimed in, "It's no problem, Zoe. Yes, we are fine. We've just been dealing with a few things, but don't worry. After dinner tonight, we will let all of you know what's been going on." With that she nodded and smiled, looking down at the bottle in your hand before walking away. When you finished, you went back downstairs and decided to check on Cordelia and see if she needed anything.

You knocked on her office door and waited a second before walking in. Cordelia was sitting at her desk, glasses on her nose and a pencil in her hand; she was deep in thought. "Just thought I would see if you needed anything." You said softly, not wanting to startle her. Cordelia leaned back in her chair and set her pencil down on the desk. "You know, there is one thing I could go for right now." She said as you made you way closer to her desk "And what would that be?" you asked as she motioned for you to come around and sit on her lap. "You." she said as she wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you down.

"Shouldn't I lock the door?" you asked as your wife traced her fingers along the hem of your shirt and lifted it over your head. "No one is going to bother us." Cordelia mumbled softly as she snaked her arms around your back to undo your bra and tossed it to the side. You could feel her breath, hot against your skin, as she kissed the center of your chest and teased around your nipples. "On the desk." She ordered and you obeyed almost immediately.

You undid the button on your pants and shimmied out of them as you hopped on the desk, positioning yourself in front of your lover. Cordelia grabbed your legs and put each one on side of her on the arm rest, and leaned forward in her chair. She raked her fingernails on the outside of your thigh and moved slowly toward your center as a soft moan escaped your lips. The tip of Cordelia's tongue teased at your folds and you leaned back, using your arms to hold yourself up.

You bit your lips to hold back your moans as your wife flicked at your sensitive bud. She knew just the right way to send you over the edge, and she was using it to her advantage. "Does this feel good, baby girl?" She asked as she used a finger to tease at your dripping entrance. "Mhmm." You mumbled as you bit harder at your lip, feeling your arousal growing stronger.

With a gentle glide, Cordelia had pushed her fingers inside you, curling them slightly to hit your sweet spot. Your body jolted beneath you as she continuously poked at your g-spot. She brought her mouth back down to your core and matched the pace of her tongue with her thrust. Choking back your moans, you threw your head back as your orgasm washed over you.

You legs and body shook as Cordelia rested her fingers inside you and let you slowly ride out your wave. You noticed Cordelia looking at you with her bottom lip between her teeth. "I've made quite a mess, baby girl. Clean me up." She said as you slowly hopped off the desk and kneeled down between her legs while she wiggled out of her pants. With her legs spread open and propped on the desk, you could see her arousal dripping between her legs. You gathered some on your tongue before licking up her slit, moaning at the taste of your lover.

"No teasing, baby. I need you now." Cordelia said as she grabbed a handful of your hair and held you in place, so you wasted no time lapping at her clit over and over again. Soft, quiet moans escaped her lips causing the heat to build up inside you again. Within a few minutes, Cordelia released her grip from your hair and grabbed on to the arms of her chair; she started grinding against your tongue, and, before long, her orgasm washed over her. Once her breathing steadied, Cordelia leaned forward and pressed her lips against yours.

A knock on the door pulled you both out of the moment. You looked at Cordelia, who was just as surprised as you, but quickly saved the moment by saying, "I'm a little busy, I'll be out in a minute." Zoe immediately replied from behind the door, "Just letting you know that dinner is ready." You suddenly remembered the bottle of wine in your room and got up to grab your clothes. "Okay thank you, Zoe." Cordelia called out as the two of you got dressed. When Zoe walked off, you used the opportunity to run back to your bedroom and grab the wine before meeting everyone in the dining room.

Dinner went by quick, and the time had come for you to make your announcement. You looked up at Cordelia before getting up and heading to the kitchen to get the bottle, returning to hear Cordelia speaking. "As you all know, we have been really busy lately, and we haven't really had the time to let you know what's going on." She looked over at you, and you took over. "We didn't really know how to tell you, but, hey, can't go wrong with a little wine." you said as you placed the wine on the table with a small card attached to the top.

Coco was the first one to grab the bottle and detach the card. "Read it out loud." Zoe said as she leaned in to try and see what was written. With small tears in her eyes, Coco began reading, "The Supreme doesn't get a glass today, but that's okay. We have us a little witch on the way." A burst of cheers and congratulations rang through the dining room as you and Cordelia were bombarded with hugs. "I am so excited to have a baby around the house." Misty said as she kissed your cheek and made her way to your wife to do the same.

Zoe and Coco had walked back into the room with a bunch of wine glasses, and began pouring glasses for everyone. When everyone had a glass, Coco raised hers in the air before speaking up, "I'd like to make a toast, to the best Supreme this coven has ever had, and the soon to be spoiled little baby on the way."

The wine went fast and the laughs came ever faster as the night eventually came to an end. "That was a great idea, Y/N. I'm so glad the girls are as excited as we are." Cordelia said as you were getting ready for bed. "Me too. I can't wait to meet our little bean." you said crawling into bed. "I can't either, however, I can wait on looking like a beach ball." Cordelia said as she crawled in beside you and cuddled close to you. "Shut up, you'll be the most beautiful beach ball." you said as you kissed her softly on her forehead. "I love you so much, Y/N." "I love you too, Delia."

[thebigqueer]

Can you do an au where Percy dies in Tartarus and Nico is absolutely devastated and Will helps him accept that he's dead?(fluff+ angst? Idrk) Sorry if it's a lot and you can't do it. Love your writing btw, you're really talented💕

"Plant Your Roots and Grow" - Solangelo - One-Shot

Summary: (basically the ask lol) written for the free day for @solangeloweek !!

Notes: I started falling asleep while editing this so if it sounds bad... sorry lol. Also I'm not sure if this is exactly what you wanted, anon, but I hope you like it nonetheless!

Word Count: 1980

Read on AO3

Nico gazes out into the water, trying his best to ground himself with the sound of the lake. White sand prickles underneath his feet and hands, and a wave of cool ease falls over him, but that doesn’t stop the anxiety that trickles down his back any time he closes his eyes to blink.

All he can see is Percy’s ghostly face, screaming as his life drains from his very body.

Nico wasn’t there when Percy died in Tartarus. He knows he couldn’t even have saved him, but that doesn’t mean that he feels any better. Any time he thinks about the late demigod, grief seizes Nico’s heart like a vice. He could have done something.

When Nico came back to camp, his guilt relaxed a little. He took time to himself and prepared to take on the biggest challenge he’d ever had to take - to spend time for himself. And for a while, it worked. His mind wandered into a temporary bliss. He learned to love, to care, to be himself again.

But then the dreams started coming. Memories of Percy dying, screams of terror, the scent of hot, sour air. Terror gripped Nico at night; fear crawled down his throat and stripped him of his dignity. He could barely find the will to get up in the morning. All that he could even think about was Percy, Percy, Percy.

It’s been months, but still Nico can’t let go of him. He can’t accept his death.

The son of Hades sighs as a brush of wind strokes his face. The blue sky above blends into a pink hue, and with a sudden chill, Nico realizes that evening is approaching soon.

He doesn’t want it to be dark already. He’s not ready to face the shadows.

Nico pulls his knees to his chest and bows his head, curling himself into a ball. His body shudders as a deep, shaky breath releases from his chest, and his fingers twitch and shiver as another gust of wind blows past. Tears press against Nico’s throat and prickle in his eyes, but he tries his best not to let them fall.

He can’t fall apart. Not right now.

A soft crunching sound rumbles behind him, and in surprise, Nico twists around to meet his intruder. A golden human emerges onto the beach, gleaming like bronze under the orange sun. Nico blinks as he tries to outline the figure, but when he realizes who it is, a warm, soothing warmth overcomes his system.

“Will,” he whispers over the lapping water. “What are you doing here?”

The gleaming human points his blue gaze to Nico’s dark eyes, and for a second, Nico almost swears the world around him stops spinning. It’s only him and Will, drifting in the silence, absorbing each other’s presence.

Then Will settles down next to Nico, his arm brushing against the son of Hades’ as he does so, and he offers a shrug. “I thought maybe you’d want company.” His eyebrows arch in concern. “How are you? Are the dreams getting worse?”

Nico sighs and scrubs his hands over his face in exasperation. “Yeah,” he mutters. “It’s like… like he’s calling for me now. Like he’s asking me to come save him.”

Will winces. “What does Dionysus say about this? Does he think your dreams are… real?”

Nico turns his gaze back to the waters, eyes reflecting the sorrowful blue of the lake. “He thinks it’s definitely something that means something. Whether they’re real or not… I’m not really sure.”

“Do you think that maybe it’s Percy who’s calling you down to Tartarus?”

Nico shrugs and bites his lip, trying his best to force the tears back down. “I- I don’t know. I don’t think so. I felt his life force slip away. I don’t think he’s the one calling for me.”

Will nods solemnly, turning his own gaze out to the sea. Together, the boys stare off into the distance, allowing the chirping of birds to crack the air and letting the soft breeze of the lake whisper against their skin. Will’s hand snakes through the sand and touches Nico’s gently. After a second of hesitance, Nico allows Will to hold onto him.

“Nico,” Will murmurs, “do you think it’s possible that Percy’s showing up in your dreams because… you haven’t let go yet?”

Something hot and painful slices Nico through his core. His hands turn to ice, and his heartbeat quickens its pace. Nico’s body hums with some kind of excitement, some kind of giddiness as Will’s words trickle over him.

“I…” Nico sighs desperately, considering how to answer. “Maybe. I guess.” He groans. “I don’t know, Will! I just… I don’t know anymore.”

And, suddenly, it’s as if someone’s dropped a bomb over Nico’s feelings. His emotions burst from the dam he’s built up; his body shakes with each sob that racks through it. Tears trail over his cheeks like shimmering cracks and slip through his fingers, and he’s leaking all over, pouring his sadness and grief out into the world. His fingers tangle into his dark hair and brush against his feverish forehead, and his ears turn red and hot as each sob cracks into the open air.

“I’m losing control,” he murmurs through the tears. “I don’t know what I want from me. Why am I still thinking about him? I saw him die when I was on the Argo II. I’ve already accepted that I liked him. I’m supposed to move on, but I’m not. Why can’t I just grow from this? Why is he tying me to my past?”

Will watches Nico with apprehension, considering how to act. He’s better with physical wounds than anything; emotional pain isn’t something he can take care of. But nevertheless, his heart aches at the sight of his boyfriend so broken and deprived of his dignity.

He’s cracking.

After another beat of hesitation, Will shifts closer. His body pusles next to Nico’s, and as his arm touches the other boy’s elbow, Nico looks up. His obsidian eyes are lined with the red hue of grief, and crystal tears tear through his cheeks.

Will’s own lip trembles at the sight of Nico. He pushes his hand closer into the son of Hades’, filling any holes or gaps between them. He wants to offer Nico any warmth that he can, to give him any semblance of comfort he can muster.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be you, Nico,” he says nervously, watching his boyfriend’s expression. “But… I know it can be hard to deal with things that have hurt you. Especially when that thing is the death of a friend.” A shaky sigh slips through Will’s lips, and he turns his gaze to the waters ahead, hoping to find solace in the rhythm of the blue ripples. “When I lost Michael and Lee… I lost myself, too. I felt like two important pieces of my identity had just… left. I broke apart. I didn’t know who I was. I kept holding on to the idea of them, hoping that if I just kept them in my heart, they’d never truly have to leave.” Will sighs again as a pang of grief strikes his heart at the thought of his deceased brothers. “I kept them because I didn’t want to lose them. I thought if I let go of them… then I’d permanently recognize that they weren’t a part of my family anymore, and I never wanted to do that.”

Nico stares at Will, his eyes glassy with tears. “How did you move on?”

“I just… I took some time for myself. I decided that instead of trying to hold on, maybe it was time to finally confront my grief for what it truly was. I talked to Dionysus, I talked to my siblings, I talked to friends.” Will pauses, considering how to continue. “I think my biggest issue was that I was afraid letting them go meant I was going to pretend they never existed. But really, it just meant I wasn’t going to tie myself to them anymore. I wasn’t going to align my entire grief and personality and actions on people who were dead. It didn’t mean I was going to forget their entire existence and move on - it just meant I was going to detach myself from making all my decisions about them.”

Nico allows Will’s words to pour into his ears and drown over his heart. He turns his gaze to their interlocked fingers, and at the sight of Will’s tan skin mixed with Nico’s own olive tone, his chest blooms with a soft, comfortable warmth.

He’s not alone.

Nico takes a deep breath, waiting for the right words to fill into his mouth. “I… I had a lot of trouble with accepting Bianca’s death,” he whispers, rubbing his finger over Will’s thumb. “I kept holding on to the thought of her. I went as far as to try to bring her back to life. I guess for me it was… I was scared I was going to lose an important part of my past. I was going to lose another person who was incredibly important to me, who had been with me through everything. I was scared of that.” He sighs. “With Percy, I just don’t want to accept that he’s gone. He’s one of the best heroes of our century. Letting him go means… means he isn’t truly here anymore.” He shakes his head as another wave of tears overwhelms his chest. “I don’t want him to not be here anymore. He was such an important piece of demigod history. He’s made an impact on so many lives.”

Will’s eyebrows arch in concern once more. He slips his hand out of Nico’s and stretches an arm out tentatively, asking silent permission to hold his boyfriend. Nico stares at the tan skin of Will's arm, and after a moment’s hesitation, he lets himself indulge into the comfort of the blond’s warmth. Will falls over Nico’s shoulder, and the latter leans into the blond’s side, allowing himself to submerge under the weight of his grief.

Will’s fingers linger over Nico’s shoulder, brushing against his skin softly in an attempt to comfort him. “I know it’s hard, especially knowing your history together,” he murmurs. “It can be really difficult to let go of someone who you’ve had such a strong emotional connection to.” Will shifts his gaze to face Nico’s head-on. Sincerity bleeds into the rim of his eyes. “But you’re not going to immediately get over it. It takes a lot of time and healing. You’re not going to wake up one day and decide you’re okay. Everyone feels and heals a little differently, and that’s okay.” A soft, encouraging smile lingers over his lips. “But you’ve got me, and Dionysus, and your other friends. You don’t need to be alone in this, Nico. Not anymore.”

Nico nods, but his gaze seems faraway, reaching for something in the past. Though he’s solid and real in Will’s embrace, his soul is dissolving internally, bleeding out into the world around him and leaving him as a hollow shell.

He’s not quite existing in this moment.

Nevertheless, he accepts Will’s words. As worthless as they feel to him right now, he knows Will’s advice is helpful - he’s trying his best, and he’s right, too. Nico needs time to forgive and move on. He just needs time to grow.

He sighs and brushes a few tears from his face. Leaning his head against Will’s shoulder, he whispers, “Thanks, Will. That… means a lot.”

The water around them continues lapping and overwhelming the white border of sand in front of them. Another breeze flits by, and birds continue chirping. The world goes on moving and growing around them.

Maybe it’s time for Nico to plant his roots and grow, too.

[artificialqueens]

surprise, surprise (branjie) - evan

In which Brooke and Vanessa spend Easter together.

AN: AN: Guess who’s back in the queue!! It’s been impossible for me to write recently, but this disgustingly sweet one shot started pouring out of me this weekend and I figured it was worth it to go ahead and post it. By the time it’s out there it’ll probably be debunked irl, but here’s the softest thing I’ve ever written, and I hope you like it!

1.8k. Find me @formercongressman.

—–

Brooke kisses Vanessa at the LA airport at nine in the morning in front of a crowd of strangers in their Easter best and she’s never felt more right.

It’s a movie-quality, sweep-her-off-her-feet, slow-motion music-swells kiss. Brooke hears an old woman behind them say, “oh, that’s sweet,” and then nothing else because she’s so focused on Vanessa’s mouth on hers again, the warm and sweet and familiar pressure that she thinks about all the time. No memory compares to the real deal.

When they pull apart, Brooke is smiling so wide that her eyes are barely open. Vanessa is this gorgeous and giddy ball of energy and light. She wraps her arms tightly around Brooke’s waist, holding her as close as she physically can.

“I missed you,” Brooke murmurs into Vanessa’s hat.

“I missed you, too.”

It’s been far too long. They haven’t been in the same place since that night Brooke and Nina had come to Vanessa’s show in New York and Vanessa had smiled into that measly filmed kiss that Brooke had since watched over and over. It’s nice to have a memento. And they Facetime whenever it’s possible, but their schedules keep them busy and it’s always a struggle to find a shared break of time. It’s never enough. There’s just something indescribably better about having Vanessa close, being able to feel her heartbeat and smell her excessive cologne, that makes Brooke want to barricade herself in a room with Vanessa and never leave. They can’t, not for months and months, but she’ll take whatever short visits she can get.

They can’t keep their hands off of each other. They know they’re making a scene at baggage claim, Brooke wrapping her entire frame around Vanessa, distracting her as she tries to spot her bag. She’s never been less concerned about what other people are thinking. She and Vanessa are finally, finally in the same place and damn it, they’re going to soak up every minute.

Brooke calls an Uber and rolls her eyes as Vanessa insists on carrying her own heavy bags.  Their driver is surprisingly unobtrusive, eyes forward the whole time as Vanessa presses five, ten, twenty kisses into Brooke’s jaw.

The driver pulls off of the interstate and Vanessa notices.

“Wait, this ain’t the way to my apartment.”

“Oh, I thought we could go to my hotel room first? It’s, uh, it’s a bit closer to the airport?”

“You’re that hungry for it?” Vanessa’s eyes are bright as she laughs into Brooke’s shoulder. “Alright baby, you know I can’t say no to that.”

Brooke smiles and pulls Vanessa closer, but she feels a twinge in the muscles in her shoulders. She’s got a surprise planned and her anxiety piques as she thinks about the short two days they have together before Vanessa leaves for Europe, and the pressure for everything to go perfectly, just according to plan.

For once, LA traffic isn’t miserable. It’s Easter Sunday, and people are at church or sleeping in or going to potlucks with their families. They get to Brooke’s hotel in what must be record time.

In the otherwise-empty elevator, Vanessa tightens her fist in Brooke’s t-shirt and drags her down to her level to meet her in a firey kiss. She rolls Brooke’s bottom lip between her teeth and Brooke can’t help but let out a small sound. It’s everything Brooke can do not to forget about the surprise completely and fall as quickly into bed with Vanessa as possible.

Brooke struggles to fish her room card out of her wallet while Vanessa is trying to hold both of her hands at once. Just as soon as the door clicks closed behind them, Vanessa has Brooke pressed against the door, lips and hands in places Brooke hasn’t felt them in over a month, and she’s almost completely swept away in the sensation of being finally, finally alone together.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Brooke says. She detaches herself from Vanessa with a smile, but Vanessa is actually pouting like a little kid, and it’s the hardest thing in the world for Brooke to not give her everything she wants immediately. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“This better be good.”

“Come here.” Brooke leads Vanessa into the room, and grabs a pink plastic egg off of the hotel TV stand. She pops it open, revealing the small Cadbury eggs inside. “Since it’s Easter morning, I thought maybe we could be a little bit traditional, and do an Easter egg hunt?” Her heart flutters a little bit, nervous, worried Vanessa is going to think this is dumb, or childish,

“You made me… an Easter egg hunt?” Vanessa asks.

“Yeah, I do it with my family and my little nieces and nephews every year, and it’s always really fun, but I’m not with my family this year and I thought maybe you might want to, um, do a family thing with me?”

Brooke pauses, holds her breath, tries to read Vanessa’s face. A family thing. She knows it’s a risk, knows it’s a step, and hopes with every fiber of her being that Vanessa is on the same page.  Vanessa’s mouth is hanging open in a little “o” and Brooke can tell that her mind is racing and she wishes, as she frequently does, that she could read what was going on in there.

Brooke starts again, “And if you don’t like it you totally don’t have to do it–”

“Baby.” Vanessa breaks into a wide smile and stands on her tiptoes to cut Brooke off with a kiss. “This is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, bitch, I love it. And I love you.”

“I love you.” Brooke wraps her arms tightly around Vanessa’s shoulders, trying to drink up every second of the moment. “So much.”

Vanessa grabs a piece of chocolate out of the Easter egg in Brooke’s hand and tosses it in her mouth. “When did you even get up to do this?”

“At like seven this morning–”

“Oh! Found one!” Vanessa immediately spots a bright green egg tucked behind the window curtain, and then she’s off, digging through every nook and cranny of the admittedly small room.

Soon there’s a pile of plastic easter egg shells on the hotel bed, candy emptied out into a paper coffee cup, as Vanessa moves in a flurry around the room to find all the eggs that Brooke has hidden. Brooke watches from a perch on the hotel bed, smiling as Vanessa struggles to reach one egg she hid on the top edge of the hotel picture frame.

“You did this one on purpose, didn’t you?” She’s on her tiptoes, the egg just beyond the reach of her fingertips.

“Maybe.” Brooke reaches far over Vanessa’s head to retrieve the egg out of her reach.

“Is that all of ‘em?” Vanessa asks.

“There’s still one left.” Brooke nestles back down on the bed.

“I give up, gimme a hint. Hot or cold?” Vanessa asked as she started moving toward the bathroom.

“Colder.”

She pauses, then turns back toward Brooke.

“Warmer.”

Vanessa starts taking painfully slow steps directly toward Brooke, who is chuckling every time she has to say “warmer” again before Vanessa will take a step closer. Then Vanessa is frustratingly close, bringing her lips to just barely hover over Brooke’s, and Brooke is ready to throw the whole game and pull Vanessa down into the bed with her.

“Hot or cold?” Vanessa barely breathes.

Brooke controls herself, presses the tiniest peck to Vanessa’s lips, and smiles mischievously. “Well, it’s not inside my mouth, obviously.”

Frustrated, Vanessa rolls her eyes and falls back onto the pillow on the other side of the bed with a sigh.

“Warmer,” Brooke said softly.

Vanessa looks up at her with narrowed eyes, but then begins feeling around on her side of the bed. It doesn’t take her long to find the teal egg under the pillow that Brooke had banked on her saving for last. Vanessa holds it up triumphantly. “Alright, do I win my prize now?”

“Open it.”

There’s no candy in this one. Instead, Vanessa finds two rolled up pieces of paper. Her forehead creases as she looks over at Brooke with a question in her eyes as she unravels them.

“It’s plane tickets,” Brooke explains. “They’re for two weeks in early December, after we’re done with all the touring and we’ve got a long break and we can just kind of… go away together. No gigs, no drag, just us. And it’s for Cape Town, it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world and I want to share it with you and…” Brooke stops. She realizes she’s rambling again. “I know that it’s a lot.” she says simply. “But I kind of want a lot with you.

It’s a moment like this that they couldn’t have shared over Facetime. Vanessa curls herself tightly against Brooke’s side, nesting her head perfectly into Brooke’s shoulder. Brooke can feel her smiling, feel the warmth of her small body against her own, and she wants to bottle this moment and take it with her everywhere she goes. This is her Vanessa, the kind that stayed hidden from the cameras for the most part, the impossibly soft and gentle core underneath her vibrant exterior.

“I want a lot with you too,” Vanessa says so softly against Brooke’s neck that she almost can’t make it out. “Thank you, baby.”

Brooke feels the same kind of twist in her gut that she felt the felt the first time Vanessa had whispered “I love you,” to her in that hazy midafternoon sunlight in Nashville. Now, Brooke is hit with these sudden flashes of a future, of laying on a beach in Cape Town, making breakfast in Vanessa’s apartment, and next Easter watching Vanessa trying to outmuscle Brooke’s hockey-playing teenage cousins as they fight over who found the last Easter egg.

They stay in that warm moment for as long as it will hold, until Vanessa presses a quick, soft kiss to Brooke’s lips. “Now, please tell me you have some kind of sexy bunny shit planned too, because I still have needs.” Brooke feels Vanessa’s fingers at the bottom edge of her shirt.

Brooke gleams and traces her thumb across Vanessa’s cheek. “Hm, what do you think about something along the lines of a sexy resurrection, ‘he is risen’ kind of thing?”

Vanessa goes stone-faced. “I swear I will go and get right back on that plane to West fucking Virginia before I–”

But then Brooke rolls on top of her, kisses her deeply, slots her body perfectly against Vanessa’s, and all the jokes fly out the window. This one is a different kind of movie-quality kiss. Their lips slide together slowly, like they’ve got all the time in the world, because in the grand scheme of things, they do.

[mf-despair-queen]

It Suits You - Part 2 - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 19,043 (Whole Story); 6,498 (Part 1); 12,545 (Part 2)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Toys, Oral (both receiving), multiple orgasms, bondage, riding, 69, doggy over a desk, shower sex, Dylan in a suit multiple times.

Notes: Someone end the mobile app. It sucks.

Part 1

You rolled off the bed, groaning at the time. You sighed loudly, grabbing the robe Dylan must have left on the chair for you when he left for his interview that morning, knowing you would be too lazy to find clothes for your naked body. “Good thing they set us up at the Roosevelt since the screening is across the street,” you mumbled to yourself, glancing out the window to see the Chinese Theater across the street. They were already barricading the front of the building to start setting up for the screening that night, a small smile on your face. “This is going to be amazing though.”

You turned around, grabbing some fresh undergarments and make up from your suitcase, laying them on the bathroom counter. You glanced at the dress hanging in the closet next to Dylan’s suit, his suit protected by the plastic cover. You wanted to peek, but promised him that you would let him surprise you with how he looked in this one.

“You thought the black suit was nice, baby? You won’t last the night with this one,” he had joked when he picked it up the previous night. He knew how much you were loving him in the fancier wear since he hardly ever dressed up. So, he wanted to surprise you and look handsome. “Think of it as a really nice movie date. We get dressed up, I take you out. You see me in a fancy suit, I see you in a beautiful dress. We can make love at the end of the night. It’s a win for everyone.”

“Fuck, why is he so amazing?” you asked yourself, running a hand through your knotted hair. “How did I get so luck with you, Dylan O’Brien?”

Glancing at the time again, it was already three. You were due to begin arriving at the premier sometime between six and seven, Dylan scheduled for a few onsite interviews and pictures with the cast and crew before the show actually was set to start. That gave you a few hours to shower and try to look decent enough to stand by Dylan’s side. The last thing you needed was someone to say you weren’t right for him.

You shuffled into the bathroom, turning on the shower, letting it heat up quickly. The steam was already beginning to fog the glass shower. Your necessities were primped and ready to go. You grabbed the fluffiest towel on the shelf, hanging it near the shower door. You shrugged off the robe, hanging it next to the towel, stepping into the hot flowing water.

The water cascaded down your body, your sore muscles from the prior night relaxing instantly. A content sigh left your lips, your hands running through your hair to wash away any dirt and grime that may be present. The water pooled at your feet, letting yourself drift off. You wondered how his interviews went. You wondered how the screening would go. You wondered if people would be alright with you being there. You weren’t the most public about your relationship with Dylan, wanting to have a somewhat normal relationship, keeping off most social media in hopes that you would be able to enjoy what you had with the chocolate-haired cutie without people’s noses up your asses too much. So, going to a premiere with him was out of the ordinary. But, you always wanted to and enjoyed the few you did.

You jumped when you felt two arms wrap around your waist, someone’s lips on your bare shoulder in a heartbeat. It was no surprise when you met the sparkling whiskey eyes of Dylan, a smile present on his lips. He kissed your cheek, tugging you closer. “Hey, baby. I’m glad you got out of bed before I got back. I was afraid you would try to sleep all day like we normally do after a passionate night,” he told you, ignoring the roll of your eyes.

“Trust me, it was tempting,” you replied, turning in his arms. Your chest pressed against his, your fingers running along his smooth skin. You admired his wet body in front of you, a Cheshire-like grin on your cheeks. Hey, the man is naked in front of you. You take advantage of something like that. “But, I’m looking forward to the screening tonight more. It’ll be my first time seeing this movie, and I get to see it with the love of my life. And he’s finally taking me to another premiere. Excuse me if I’m a little too excited to sleep.”

“Hmm, you’re a little excited?” he asked, his fingers splaying across the small of your back, pulling you forward. His lips ghosted over yours, a low mewl sounding over the shower. “Is the premiere the only thing you’re excited about?”

Your arms wound around his neck, hanging loosely. “Well, maybe I’m a bit excited to see you in a suit again. Or to dress up for you tonight. Your publicist found the best dress for me. She said it would match the tie you are wearing.” You paused, glancing up at him. “Speaking of, you’re wearing a tie? You never wear ties, Dyl.”

“I wanted to look fancy for you. Only the best for my girl when she is coming with me to a big event like this,” he said, pecking your lips. “People are going to say how amazing we look together. And it’s all going to be because I have you on my arm.”

“You flattered me, good sir,” You told him, tapping his nose with your finger. “But we all know it’s because of you. You’re the star, Dyl. Don’t forget that.”

“How did I get lucky with you?” He mumbled, dipping down to kiss you passionately. You hummed against his lips, your hands clenching to his rippling biceps, nails digging into his skin. Neither of you minded the hot warm that rained over your forms, the only thing that mattered being the other person in your arms.

His mouth molded with yours perfectly, just as it always seemed to. Of course, it didn’t take long for him lips to envelop yours, taking control of the kiss. His tongue swiped at your lips whenever he did, slithering through the smallest crack to sneak its way into your mouth. Your tongues tangled recklessly between your cheeks, the wet article massaging every inch of your mouth as he fought with yours.

He carefully backed you into the shower wall, a shiver running down your spine when you came in contact with the chilled marble tile. The hot water hit Dylan’s back, dripping down every muscle he had.  Your fingers tangled in his hair, your lips never detaching, Dylan hiking one of your legs up on his waist. His cock pressed to your stomach between your bodies, thickly pulsing with arousal. His large, veiny hand massaged the skin on your leg, his other hand drawing small circles where it rested on your waist.

He pulled away, panting slightly, his forehead resting on yours. “We have time, don’t we? It’s still early. Maybe we can…” he trailed off quietly, assuming you knew what he was hinting at. You let out a small giggle, Dylan pulling away to give you a dull look. “Fine. I didn’t want to do anything with you anyway.”

“No,” you whined, tugging him closer to you, pecking his soft lips. “I just thought it was sweet. Of course we can. God, I shouldn’t need you as much as I do. But I need you, Dyl. Just, let’s make it quick and don’t go overboard. I need to be able to walk tonight.”

Dylan huffed, burying his face in your neck. “No. I don’t want to now. You laughed at my idea,” he said stubbornly. He wasn’t so stubborn that he couldn’t resist placing teasing kisses to your neck, hearing your moans echo around the glass shower.

“Dammit Dylan. Just fuck me already,” You whimpered, hugging him closer. Dylan stilled against you, and you for a second thought he was going to pull away and leave for some reason. It was stupid to ever think that. He wasn’t that type. But sometimes, you just fear when you say something so abruptly that the person will turn tail.

But he always seemed to disprove any fear you had and show you he was by your side for everything. A squeal left your lips when you were lifts off the ground, both legs wrapping around his waist to keep upright. You were pushed more into the tile, Dylan staring up at you with his cute whiskey eyes. He smiled, kissing you quickly, using one hand to align himself at your core.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said sweetly. “I knew you couldn’t resist me.” Never mind, he’s smug.

He slid in quickly, a deep groan rumbling from inside him. You bit your lip, your head resting against the wall. Your both seemed to sigh contently when he bottomed out, Dylan’s hand gripping your legs tightly. His fingers rubbed circles on the small bruises that were bound to form from his hold, trying to relax your body slightly.

Your arms wrapped around him, trying to grip his wet, slick back. You glanced down at him, giving him the slightest nod and attaching your lips to his. He smiled into it, rolling on the balls of his feet to begin thrusting into you. Your moans were lost in the kiss, Dylan’s thick cock already tapping your sweet spot and rubbing against every sensitive nerve your walls had.

He broke the kiss, breathlessly panting, attempting to focus on the task at hand. His hips bucked quickly into yours, steadily speeding up to a faster, more pleasing pace for you both. Your moaned openly, head falling back to the wall once more, letting your nails rake down his wet back. Even though it was slick and your grip didn’t hold, Dylan knew he was going to have scratch marks and he was glad he wasn’t going to be walking around shirtless anytime soon. It happened to him once when they were filming the beach scene for American Assassin and he didn’t hear the end of it for weeks it felt like.

His head rested on your shoulder, watching his cock disappear inside you, emerging more wet than it was going in. He groaned, something inside him churning with excitement. Nothing made him happier and more aroused than watching himself sliding inside you. Watching such a simple thing was sexy to him and he found that he could watch it anytime you were together. Seeing himself coated in your juices, even in a wet place like the shower, told him you were enjoying what he did. And hell, he was enjoying it equally. You were tightly holding onto him whenever he was inside you, walls hugging him close, your body shaking against him when he rubbed your tender spots. Your moans directed into his ear, and he knew how much you enjoyed it.

He groaned, his thrusts growing sloppier by the second. Your legs were tightening around him, finger hands moving up to tangle in his wet hair. Your tugged at the roots relentlessly, moaning louder than before. Your hips bucked back into his to meet his thrusts, your bodies colliding in delicious harmony. He pulled from your shoulder, eye locking with yours briefly. The smallest smile graced your beautiful lips, Dylan smiling in return. His head tilted up, latching to yours in a soft kiss.

You were undone in seconds after that. Your body shook, your moan getting lost in his mouth, disappearing down his throat. Your walls closed around him, gripping around him tightly. Your toes curled into his back while your own back arched off the wall to press yourself closer to him. He sighed happily into the kiss, feeling your juices wash over him in endless waves. The feeling of your orgasm set his own in motion, his cock sputtering and twitching inside you. His seed spilled into you, his juices mixing with your own, his thrusts easing to a gentle push to ride out your highs. He hummed happily against your lips, you both relishing in the feeling of the other against your body.

He pulled out slowly, placing you back on the shower floor. He held your waist, not wanting you to fall, your knees weak from your orgasm and them being wrapped tightly around his waist. He kissed your forehead, running his fingers through your hair. Your head rested on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat calming slowly. He held you close knowing that nothing could truly ruin this moment.

“We should wash up, babe,” you mumbled against him, your fingers fiddling with his wet chest hairs. He chuckled, your heart jumping happily from the shaking of his body against yours.

“Yeah, you’re right. Like always. We have a premiere to get to. And I don’t want you to miss it,” he replied, kissing the top of your head.

You took your time washing each other. Hey, it’s a nice excuse to feel your significant other’s body. That, and Dylan was always gentle with you, carefully scrubbing your body clean, tenderly washing everything away. He’s still a guy and would find chances to grope at your chest, leaning down to kiss your hard nipples a few times. But you did the same, stroking his cock between your fingers and grabbing his firmly round ass. Sometimes, you just can’t help yourself.

You were towel drying your hair, wrapped in the soft robe. You could see Dylan running around the hotel room in his black boxer briefs gathering everything he needed to get ready, bouncing around cutely trying to put his socks on. You giggled to yourself, focusing on your hair and makeup. You decided on something simple, tying your hair up in a quick bun, letting the front fall free to frame your face. Makeup was simple, just some eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow. Dylan always said you didn’t need a lot since you had natural beauty, but he loved you brining out your eyes. Just a little something to make it pop.

You walked out of the bathroom to see Dylan buttoning up his white shirt, glancing at you when you walked out. “Damn, baby. Looking good already,” he said, bounding across the room to kiss your cheek. You laughed at his attempt, Dylan tripping over the discarded clothes on the floor, probably from when he got back and decided to jump in the shower with you. He was stilling buttoning the shirt when he got to you, though you noticed he had missed a few buttons from his distraction.

“Dyl, what would you do without me?” you joked, fixing his shirt for him.

“Probably suffer and not be acting anymore,” he whispered. You knew he was referring slightly to his accident. He said countless times that you were a main reason that he got off his couch and did American Assassin. You were there with him for everything. You and his dad were his rocks for all of this.

“No,” you told him, tapping his nose. He shook his head cutely, a small laugh falling off your lips. “We don’t think like that. You’re better now, Dylan. You are so much stronger than you were back then. And you would have continued acting even if I wasn’t there for you. You’re not one to give up, you know that.”

“I know,” he mumbled, running his hand through his hair. “It was just better than I had you by my side through it all. I could never thank you enough. You know that.”

Your arms swung around his neck, kissing him softly. “No more sad talk. This is a happy day. We’re going to the Chinese Theater, baby. And I get to see you on the big screen.”

He hummed against your lips, playing with the tie on your robe. “Are you sure we can’t just skip? We can just stay here and have some time together. We haven’t had real alone time to relax in a while.”

You laughed as he pushed the robe off your shoulders, groaning when he saw you wearing a loose tank, obviously braless, and navy blue lace panties. “I know we haven’t had a lot of time lately, but one more night won’t kill you. You will be having some decent downtime as soon as the movie releases before you have to start press for The Death Cure. We will have time together then in our new house.”

“God, that sounds like heaven,” he practically moaned out, backing away to grab his gray slacks. “And do you know how nice it is to say ‘our new house’? Not just because I’m twenty-six and just bought my first house, but I bought it with my lovely girlfriend.”

“Don’t be a suck up,” you grinned, turning to grab your dress from the closet. You tugged the tank over your head, tossing it on the bed. You slid the navy-blue halter dress on carefully, admiring how it clung perfectly to your body in the full-length mirror. The bodice shimmered brightly, the silver accents glistening in the light of the room. There was a slit that ran up the left side, ending at the middle of your thigh. The back of the top half was mesh as well as a small section between and under the breasts.

Dylan walked up behind you, adjusting his navy tie as he approached, buttoning the back of the dress for you. His arms wrapped around your waist, kissing your neck softly. “You’re beautiful, my queen,” he mumbled.

“And you’re handsome, my king.”

He grinned at your reply, kissing your cheek and grabbing his suit’s vest from the hanger. You watched him slide it on in the mirror, buttoning it slowly. He glanced at you, seeing you staring at him through the mirror, cracking a huge grin. “Enjoying the show?”

“You went full suit on this one. Tie, vest, slacks. All you need to do now is button your blazer when you do your interviews,” you giggled, looking at him over your shoulder. “But, fuck, you’re handsome. I’m glad I didn’t see anything before. Definitely better to be surprised so I can admire my baby all night long.”

“Maybe I will, baby. And I’m glad you approve. That’s all the only approval I need. Looking good for my girl,” he grinned, sitting on the bed to slide on his shoes. You grabbed your heels from the box they came in, sitting on the bed next to him. They were simple, just black, open-toed heels that had a strap around your ankle. Dylan stood first, holding a hand out to you, pulling you up with him. Even in heels, he was taller than you, making you smile. “Shall we head out? It’s already after six, so I’m technically already late.”

“I wonder who is to blame for that. Someone decided to be horny in the shower,” you retorted, leaning up to kiss him, your hand running over the stubble he had. Smiling, you grabbed your purse and headed to the door, leaving him before he could kiss back. Dylan groaned, obviously not serious, grabbing his blazer.

“Go ahead and head down. Security should be waiting in the lobby. I just need to put on some fresh cologne and grab something,” he hollered.

“Alright. Keep it quick, hot shot,” you called back, heading down to the lobby. You found John, Dylan’s personal security guard for the event, easily, letting him know Dylan would be down shortly. Dylan did, indeed, join shortly after, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you out with John and a few additional guards.

You saw the line of people awaiting their tickets for the premiere, some heading inside through the metal detectors. You smiled at the turnout, glancing up at Dylan, whispering things to him about it. Your boyfriend smiled at your reactions, loving ever remark you were making. He could only think one thing.

God, I love her.

You ignored passerby’s taking pictures of you, the security doing their best to keep them at bay. John led you through a side door, bright flashes being seen ahead. Dylan stopped at the door, looking down at you.

“And this is where I go take pictures. You won’t miss me too much, right?” he asked, giving a cheesy grin. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and leaning on the door frame.

“Go get ‘em, baby. Take some good pictures for me.” He smiled, kissing your cheek. You grabbed his sleeve before he left, blushing slightly. “But, um, can we take a picture together first?”

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist. “You sound like a fan.” You frowned at him, but he just shook his head. “No, I like it. I’m not one to normally take pictures for fans since I hate being stopped for just that, but I can make an exception for you,” he sassed.

“Oh, shut up,” you muttered, readying your phone for a selfie. You smiled at the camera, waiting you Dylan to smile too. But no, he didn’t. He leaned in and kissed your cheek, an obvious smile on his lips. You laughed at the action, snapping the picture anyway. “A real one now, please?” He complied, his head close to yours as he smiled at the camera with you, hugging you close.

His name was called, a girl named Britt motioning him over to take his pictures. He excused himself, fixing his suit before he walked over to her, greeting the beautiful girl in charge of photography. He slid inside for his pictures shortly after, leaving you in the doorway to watch. You watched him give a lopsided smile at the camera, admiring how good he looked and how natural he was in front of the cameras, even for simple pictures. This was where he was meant to be, and you loved that he was able to pursue his dreams and desires like this.

You glanced at your phone, changing your wallpaper to the photo of him kissing your cheek that you just took. And for one of the first times since you began dating Dylan years ago, you opened up your twitter, posting the photo of you both. It was rare to post anything, especially of you both, but you wanted to capture this moment.

@dylanobrien, I couldn’t be more proud of you right now. Great job on #AmericanAssassin. I couldn’t have asked for a better man in my life.

You were instantly getting likes and retweets, mostly good comments popping up on the post. You ignored the few that criticized you or hated on you for being with him, knowing that Dylan wouldn’t want you to focus on that. He loved you, and that was all you needed.

You put your phone back in your purse, glancing up at him again. He was taking a few pictures with the others, noting he was with Shiva Negar, Taylor Kitsch and Michael Keaton. Michael Cuesta, the director, joined for a few pictures as well. You could see a few stragglers of the fans snapping pictures from the lobby before being shooed away by security telling them to go take their seats. The smiles on their faces made you ecstatic, knowing people loved these brilliant people.

“Y/N!” You heard Dylan call, waving you over. You giggled, making your way over to him slowly. Taylor gave you a quick hug, rocking you back and forth slightly.

“My favorite short girl,” he joked, receiving a light punch in the gut from you as a reply. “I’m so glad you could make it to this. I kept asking Dylan why he never brought you to any of the screenings or interviews. He was always so shy about it though and never said much.”

Dylan groaned, turning away embarrassed, heading to another interviewer. You laughed, shaking your head. “He just likes to keep me hidden until I pester him enough to bring me. But this is the last big screening before release. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Keaton pushed Taylor aside, giving you a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. “Well, we are all glad you are here, Y/N. We missed you,” he said. You smiled, hugging him back.

“And I missed you guys. I can’t wait to see the final product. Watching you guys film was amazing, but I want to see how Michael was able to put it all together.”

“It’s amazing!” Michael Cuesta hollered from afar, laughing loudly.

“I know it is!” You called back.

Shiva stepped up next, giving you a bone-crushing hug. “You look beautiful. Dylan is a lucky guy to have a girl like you in his life.”

You blushed, smiling at her after glancing at him. “No, I’m lucky to have him.” Shiva smiled at your remark, looking over at him. Dylan felt you both looking at him, glancing over. He smiled, excusing himself from the interview he was doing, his hands fiddling with the buttoned blazer.

“Hey, baby,” he said quickly. “Everyone wanted to say hi while I finished up my interview. I knew you would want to say hi to them.” He paused, shuffling slightly. “Would you kill me if I say I want to take some professional photos with you? I already asked the photographers and they agreed. We have a few more minutes before we have to head in for the opening remarks.”

“Why would you want to take pictures with me? I’m not famous or an actor. I’m just your date.”

“That’s why. You’re my date and I want to take photos with my beautiful girlfriend,” he said, peppering your face with kisses. You laughed, swatting him away.

“Ok, ok. Relax boy. If it’ll make you happy.” He smiled, tugging you to the American Assassin background. His arm wrapped around our waist, your hand resting on your side as you posed for the camera. You did a few positions: your hand on his chest while he held you, leaning up to kiss his cheek (which they caught without you knowing really), your foreheads leaning against each other as he looked down at you, and your favorite being when he laced his fingers with yours, holding you close.

He led you into the theater almost immediately after you were done, Dylan unbuttoning his blazer as you headed in. You intended to find your seat, but Dylan held you close, leading you to the end of the line of cast and crew. You gave him a questioning look.

“Just trust me, alright babe? Michael is going to call us down and introduce us then we will head to our seats. We are coming back up this way, so I will grab you then,” he told you quietly, trying not to distract anyone from Michael and the producers talking in front of everyone. You just nodded at him, leaning on the railing to wait for him.

“And Dylan O’Brien!” You heard his name called, Dylan bounding down the stairs and joining the others. “I just wanted to thank everyone of these guys. This movie wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. They truly are amazing people. Can we just take a moment to thank them?”

The theater erupted into applause, including you. Dylan seemed to catch you clapping, a smile on his face. He did the cutest little fist pump, as if agreeing with everything Michael said.

“With that, we hope you really do enjoy the movie. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally here for you. We worked hard on it for you guys. So, thank you!” Michael said, everyone clapping. Everyone started filing back up the stairs, Dylan remaining planted on the ground with Michael. You cocked your head at him, Taylor patting you on the back on his way by.

“Congrats,” he whispered, leaving you more confused.

“Alright, one more little surprise before we start actually,” Michael announced, catching your attention. “As you all know, this,” he started, patting Dylan on the back, “is our lead. Our main man. Our Mitch Rapp. Dylan O’Brien.” The crowd erupted in screams and cheers, making you laugh. “He has a little something he wanted to say.”

Michael handed the microphone to Dylan before walked away, patting him on the back and shaking his hand. Dylan cleared his throat, looking up at the packed theater. “Hey guys. I’m Dylan, but you already knew that. I just wanted to thank everyone for being here. It really does mean a lot that you guys came out to support this movie, to support us. It means the world to everyone involved that you are here today.”

He paused, looking over at you briefly. “But, there is someone here today that I really need to thank. She’s been there for me through… everything. I don’t think I could have done this without her. And I couldn’t be happier that I was able to bring her to the beautiful Chinese Theater to show her this movie. You all know who she is I’m sure, but let me give her a proper introduction. Y/N, will you come down here please?”

Your heart stopped, people turning towards you. You face flushed, slowly making your way down the steps. Dylan walked over to you, taking your hand when you got to the bottom of the steps. “Dyl, what are you doing?” You asked him quietly, your voice not picked up by the microphone in his hand. He didn’t respond, just brought you to the center of the floor.

“This is my lovely girlfriend, Y/N. She has been there through everything and she truly is one of the main reasons I was able to get back into acting. So, I wanted to thank you, from the bottom of my heart.” He turned to you, taking your hand in his free one. “You mean the world to me and I want everyone to know that I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Dylan…” you tried to say.

“So, don’t kill me later for doing this so publicly,” he laughed, getting down on one knee in front of you. He held your hand tightly, clearing his throat again. “This is not as easy as it seemed in my head, just so you know. But, Y/N, you are my one and only. We’ve dated for years, though it seems like longer. You know me for me, and you appreciate me for me. You have been through thick and thin with me, as both friends and my girlfriend. I can remember the day I met you. You came to the Teen Wolf set to see Tyler and he introduced us. It was season two, and we became instant friends. Over the time we spent together, I couldn’t deny how amazing you were. I fell in love with you more and more every day. When I finally got the courage to ask you out, I didn’t regret it for a single second. I can’t thank you enough for being there for me, helping me when I needed it, and for loving me just as much as I love you. I don’t want to lose you, so what better way than to spend the rest of our lives together? So, Y/N L/N, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

He pulled out a small box from his pocket, opening it to reveal the ring. The round diamond shone in the light from the movie screen, tiny diamonds lining the band. Your eyes were locked on the ring in front of you, your hand covering your mouth to muffle the sobs that threatened to escape. Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes, trying your best not to cry and ruin your make up. You couldn’t find the words to express yourself, unable to articulate anything at the moment. Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly, trying to speak.

“You’re leaving me hanging here, babe,” he joked, causing you to laugh. “What do you say?”

Your mouth felt dry, your throat tightening, but you finally got the words out. “Yes, Dylan. A million times yes. I will marry you.”

He grinned, placing the microphone down on the ground so he could pull the ring from the box, sliding it on your finger. He stood up quickly the second it was on, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you passionately. The crowd erupted into applause, cheering loudly for you both. He grinned as he pulled away, pecking your lips. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Dylan.”

He smiled, picking up the microphone, entwining his fingers with yours. “She said yes, in case I didn’t make it clear. Thank you, guys. Thank you from me and my lovely fiancé. Now, please enjoy the movie!”

The crowd cheered again as he handed the microphone to the staff, leading you up the stairs to your seats. Taylor stood as you approached him, giving both you and Dylan hugs. “Congrats guys. It’s about time.”

The rest of the cast congratulated you as you sat down, leaning over to Dylan as the movie began to play. “How long have you been planning this?”

“Let’s just say a while,” he whispered, kissing your cheek. “I love you so much.”

You left the theater just as the credits were beginning to roll, security ushering all of the actors and their guests out a back door to get you back to the Roosevelt for the afterparty. You were practically bouncing on your toes the entire walk back to the hotel, talking your future husband’s ear off about the movie.

“I’m just saying Dyl. It was way better than I ever thought. Like, it was amazing before but seeing it fully put together? You guys were so amazing!” You told him as you entered the Roosevelt. He just laughed, hugging you close.

“Well, I’m glad you loved it, baby,” he said for the millionth time, kissing your forehead. He led you to a table with his name on it, shrugging off his blazer and draping it over the back of his chair. Your sat in the chair next to him, watching him roll his shirt sleeves up to his elbows. You leaned on the table, smiling at him.

“You know you’re handsome?”

“And you’re beautiful,” he said, leaning down to kiss you. “I’m going to greet some of the guests and get a drink from the bar. Do you want to come with? Or do you want me to grab you something?”

“Um. Can you grab me a tequila sunrise? I just want to relax for a bit.”

He grinned, kissing your forehead. “Absolutely. I’ll be back soon. Don’t run off on me now,” he joked, winking as he walked away. You watched him from afar greet guests, taking pictures with the people he interacted with, laughing and having fun. This was what you loved. Seeing him happy.

You sighed happily, glancing down at the ring on your finger. Never in a million years did you think this would happen. Marrying your best friend, the man of your dreams. Let alone he proposed in front of a crowd of his fans. He put everything on the line, ready to embarrass himself in front of everyone just to ask you to marry him. He really did love you, huh?

You pulled out your phone, reading a few of the comments from your earlier post, seeing that Dylan had apparently found time to retweet it himself. Word had already gotten out about his proposal, mostly positive messages filling your feed. You ignored the few bad ones, glad that most people approved of you together.

What shocked you most was seeing Dylan has tweeted a picture of him down on one knee in front of you as well as a picture of him hugging you afterwards, kissing you. The caption almost put you into tears.

When your dream girl says yes in front of a theater full of fans. I couldn’t be happier. I love you, Future Mrs. O’Brien.

You smiled to yourself, trying not to cry again. “What did I do to deserve you, Dyl?” you asked yourself.

“What did he do to deserve you, Future Mrs. O’Brien?” you heard someone say. The person sat down in Dylan’s chair, your smile widening.

“Tyler! Oh my God. What are you doing here?” You asked, pulling him into a hug. He adjusted his blue and red flannel shirt he wore when you pulled away, smoothing out his black shirt.

“Well, I came out to support Dyl and his new movie. But I also heard about his little stunt in the theater. Congrats, my little midget.”

You huffed at him, smacking his arm. “Just because you are older and taller than me does not give you the right to always call me that. And yes, he may or may not have pulled a surprise out at the screening.”

“Oh, I know,” Tyler chuckled, taking your hand and running his finger over the ring. “He told me he was doing it tonight.”

“He did?” You asked dumbly. “I should have known. He tells you everything. Can you tell me how long he has been planning this? He just said it was a while.”

“Hmm.” Tyler leaned back in the chair, sipping his beer. “Maybe like… a year? Or so? It was before he went off to film American Assassin that he first brought it up and we went to buy the ring.”

“A year? Seriously?”

“You aren’t supposed to tell her things like that, Tpose,” you heard, feeling two arms wrap around your waist. A tequila sunrise was placed on the table next to you, Dylan’s lips on your cheek. “Just let her enjoy our engagement.”

“And who said she isn’t?” Tyler quipped, grinning at his best friend. Dylan just laughed, Tyler jumping out of the seat to give him a bro hug. “It’s so good to see you, man.”

“Same, T. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” Dylan replied as they pulled away. He pat Tyler on the shoulder, smiling. “I’m glad you could make it for this.”

“Only to support my main man Dylan of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Especially when you mentioned my favorite midget was going to be here,” Tyler laughed as he looked down at you. You stuck your tongue out at him, flipping him off. “That hurts, Y/N. You know you love me.”

“Debatable,” came you short reply.

You took your drink, ignoring the boys who were quietly conversing beside you. You didn’t want to listen to whatever they were talking about, until you heard Tyler’s small comment to Dylan. “She’s so irritable today. Is she on her period? Or does she need a good dicking?” You choked on your drink, Dylan instantly leaning down to help. He pats your back gently, helping ease you through your coughing fit.

“You good now?” He asked when your breathing calmed. You nodded slowly, sending a glare at Tyler who was almost on the floor laughing.

“Yeah, I’m good, baby. Someone,” you glanced at Tyler, “just needs to learn how to stop talking sometimes. And keep their nose out of other people’s business.”

Tyler grinned widely, leaning against you. “So, you do need him to fuck you. The first fuck as a future married couple.”

You groaned, hiding your face in your hands, Dylan chuckling. “How much weed have you had, Ty?”

“Probably more than I should have,” he said easily. “Dyl! Let’s go talk to people for a little longer before Mrs. O’Brien here wants to drag you away and keep you for herself.”

“She’s not going to drag me away and keep me for herself. And you know where we live. You’re going to show up all the time anyway once I’m done with the press tour because one, you will wanna help plan our wedding and two, you will be hoping to interrupt us having sex since you always miss us. I don’t know why you want to interrupt us so bad.”

You groaned, catching both guys’ attention. “Oh my god, why do I put up with you guys? Is this really the conversation you are having? Is this something you really do, Ty? You know what, don’t answer that. Just go away.” The guys chuckled, Dylan pecking your lips as he stood up straight. He grabbed his drink from the table, Tyler swinging his arm over Dylan’s shoulders to lead him away. “Wait!”

“Will you make up your mind, tiny one?” Tyler joked, looking at you.

“Just,” you mumbled, holding up your phone. “You guys aren’t together very often. I um… I want a picture of you guys together.”

Dylan chuckled. “Again with the pictures?” You frowned at him, Dylan’s face falling. “Oh, babe. I didn’t mean it like that. I like you taking pictures. You help me capture these moments because I’m too dumb and lazy to remember to take pictures of my own. Like the selfies you took earlier? If you didn’t take those, we wouldn’t have our own, personal photos for this event. We have the professional ones, but the personal ones are always better. Please don’t be sad.”

“I’m not mad. I just want a fucking picture of my boys,” you whined. Dylan rolled his eyes, Tyler wheezing from his intense laughter. He tugged Dylan closer, Dylan turning to him, the two talking quietly about something. You took a second to snap a photo of them, smiling at the way Dylan listened to Tyler laugh, a bright smile on Tyler’s face. “What are you guys saying about me now?”

Tyler grinned, smiling evilly at you. “Oh, Dylan was just asking why he puts up with you. I just had to remind him that he loves you, which of course he didn’t deny.”

“Gossip,” Dylan grumbled.

“But it’s true, Dyl. You love me and are gonna pose for me with Ty. Now.” Both boys complied, adjusting their stance and smiling at your camera. The picture was cute, making you smile when you showed them. “You guys are the best.”

“Damn, we look good, Dyl,” Tyler laughed, backing away from Dylan. “Or it’s just you, looking all swag in that suit.”

You stood up, wrapping your arms around your love. He smiled, his lips resting on your forehead. “It suits him, right?” Tyler laughed loudly, making you realize what you said and burying your head in Dylan’s chest. His chest jostled with his chuckle, holding you close. “Oh god, that was horrible.”

“I liked it. You’re too cute,” Dylan mumbled quietly, rocking you side to side to calm your nerves. He pulled away, kissing your forehead. “I’ve got more people to greet, then I want a dance from you. If you’ll have me, of course.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you whispered, leaning up to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss, pressing harder to your lips. Your hands traveled down his torso, running along his waist. You could feel every inch of muscle under his shirt and vest. His wound around your own waist, gently resting on your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. You moaned into him, breaking the kiss. “Babe, public.”

“I couldn’t help it. You look good.”

“Alright, stop flirting and acting like you are ready to jump each other’s bones. Save that for later,” Tyler huffed, grabbing Dylan’s arms from you. “I’m stealing my boyfriend from you. Love you tiny!”

Tyler dragged off Dylan, Dylan giving a small wave as he left. “Fuck you too, Ty. And I want him back! He’s my fiancé before your boyfriend!”

Tyler gave a simple wave, causing you to smile. The duo went back to greeting guests, taking pictures as they wandered the room. They both looked completely ecstatic that they were with the other, flaunting their bromance to everyone in the party. You laughed at them as they awkwardly danced with some people, drinking their beverages, and laughing with the people they interacted with.

You glanced at your phone, seeing a text from Posey. Your eyebrows scrunched together, unsure what it was. Opening the text, you saw two pictures. Both were from moments ago. One was your head in Dylan’s chest, his lips on your forehead. The other was of your kiss with him. You noted how you stood on your toes to kiss him, even though you were still wearing heels. Dylan had a clear smile on his lips. Both of your eyes were closed as you enjoyed your embrace. There text with the pictures read simply:

Check my twitter ;)

You did as instructed, opening the app once more. You had used your twitter more in one night than you had in months. You saw the photos of you and Dylan on his page, the caption reading:

My favorite couple of all time. Congrats @dylanobrien for landing this shorty as your own. Best wishes to you both!

You groaned at the nickname, but smiled regardless. It was nice to know that people accepted you and were happy for Dylan getting engaged. You didn’t want to ruin his reputation or his image. You just wanted him happy and doing what he loved.

You lost track of time, mindlessly browsing your phone and ignoring the party around you. Some people stopped by to congratulate you and talk to you, but you stayed planted at the table. This party wasn’t for you. It was for Dylan and the cast to interact with friends and fans. You were only snapped back to reality when you chair was tugged away from the table, two hands on your shoulders.

“I believe you owe me a dance, madam,” Dylan’s husky voice whispered in your ear. His lips brushed against the shell of your ear, kissing and nipping gently at the soft skin. A quiet moan bellowed from your lips, relaxing into him slightly.

“Do I?”

“Yes, you do. And you are not getting out of it,” he said, rounding the chair and taking your hands. “Now, up we go.” He pulled you up, wrapping his arms around your waist, walking you backwards towards the dance floor full of people. You groaned, leaning against him, not bothering to resist his movements.

“Dyl, you know I can’t dance. Why do you want to embarrass us both?”

“One, you can dance. We go to the club all the time with the Teen Wolf guys and baby, you have some killer moves. Two, even if you can’t dance, you need to practice. We will have a wedding dance to do in the near future. And three, I want to dance with you. So sue me. I am not afraid to pout at you.”

“Please don’t. I can’t resist the pout,” You whined. Your fiancé just chuckled, sliding you into the middle of the crowd. The music was pumping loudly, some upbeat song you didn’t know playing through the overhead speakers. Dylan’s hand met your waist, tugging you close, grinning at you.

“Just relax and have fun, alright?”

And you did. It didn’t matter that you were in a crowd of people that were fans of his or that you were at an after party for your fiancé’s hit movie. You were with him. Your body moving against his to the beat of the music. His hands were on your waist, his hips moving at the same rhythm yours were. Your arms were wrapped tightly to around his neck. You were grinding against him more than you probably should in this kind of environment, but he was intoxicating to be near. Clad in a suit, smells delicious because he wore your favorite cologne, a bit of alcohol in your system, the excitement from the night. Everything was fueling this internal need to be with him.

You turned around, your ass pressing against his groin. He nuzzled his face into your neck, groaning into the juncture between your neck and shoulder. He had an obvious bulge, and you were hoping he wouldn’t back away anytime soon. It would be evidently pressing against his tight slacks. You grinned though, pressing yourself closer to him. His hands were on your waist, tightening his hold more and more over time. The more you shook your body against his, the tighter his hold.

He kissed at your neck, trailing them up to your ear. “Maybe we should get out of here?” He mumbled, his voice hoarse and dry from his heightened arousal. You hummed against him, turning to wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to taunt him with a light kiss. Your teeth tugged at his bottom lip, Dylan tugging you closer to him. “Please. If we don’t leave soon, I may end up doing something I might regret. Unless you want to me to strip you down right here, or we disappear into the bathroom for you to suck me or me to fuck you, I suggest we leave now.”

He spoke quietly, making sure no one around you heard. You smiled at him, playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. “Well, are you able to sneak out without getting in trouble? You are the star of this movie, Dyl. Or, can you sneak out without people noticing your little… issue?” You asked, your hand subtly sliding between your bodies. Your fingers gently massaged the indent from his cock, Dylan biting his lip to stifle his moans. “Someone’s a little excited. It’s only been a few hours, babe.”

“Yeah, but I have an incredibly sexy girl who agreed to marry me today. She looks amazing in this dress. She’s dancing with me and the way she moves her hips. God, I’m about to lose my mind. I have the James Corden interview tomorrow, but I’m so ready to start my break from press tours. Just to be able to spend time with you.”

“Well, figure out how to get us out of here,” you mumbled against his lips, your voice overly captivating to him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, attempting to fix the protrusion that was his cock in his slacks, checking to see if it was apparent to the naked eye of others. When he was satisfied enough with it, he laced his fingers with yours, tugging you from the crowd. He found Michael Cuesta, patting the director on the back. “Hey, man. Y/N is wiped after the screening and the after party. It’s already after midnight too, so we are gonna head back up to our room for the night. We had a lot of fun tonight.”

Michael nodded, turning to give Dylan a hug. “It was nice having you with us, Dylan. I look forward to working with you again in the future. You’re a talented guy. I wish you the best of luck in the future.” He turned to you, pulling you into a hug as Dylan excused himself to grab his blazer and your purse. “I’m glad you were able to come to the screening today, Y/N. It means the world to us. And make sure to keep that man at bay.”

You giggled, nodding at him. “Of course, I will try. I can’t guarantee anything though because he’s a little shit most of the time.”

Michael laughed, taking a sip of his scotch. “I get that. But he’s a good guy. You guys are good for each other. I always said from the moment I met him and he talked about you that you would be together forever. When he finally got you on set, I knew I was right. You bring out the best in him and you make him happy. You guys deserve all the happiness in the world.” He gave you one more hug, kissing your temple. Dylan smiled as he walked back over. “Congrats to both of you. Have a great rest of the night.”

Dylan thanked him, leading you away quickly. You waved at Michael, following close on Dylan’s tail. The lobby was empty, the dim light above you lighting the way to the elevators. Dylan jabbed at the button rapidly as if it would make the elevator go faster, groaning. “Come on.”

“Dyl, calm down. We have all night. You don’t have an interview in the morning. You just have James Corden tomorrow night. I’m not even close to being tired,” you told him lowly, rubbing his arms to calm him. He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“I guess,” he mumbled quietly. “I guess I’m just a bit…”

“Horny?” You joked, Dylan’s cheeks flushing. “I understand, babe. I do. Remember, just you and me. Alone. In the hotel room. Having just gotten engaged. You can imagine the hot, kinky sex we can have as out celebratory engagement sex.”

Dylan sighed happily, hugging you close to him. “How do you always say the most perfect things to get me to relax?” He muttered. The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open slowly. Dylan tugged you inside, pressing the button for the floor your suite was on. You were alone in the elevator, making you smile.

You backed him into the wall, caressing the bulge he still had in his slacks. He groaned louder than before, looking down at you with darkened orbs. “I love you, Dylan O’Brien,” you whispered. “I can’t wait to spend every second with you.”

“Shit, babe. I love you too. But don’t do this here. I won’t be able to last much longer. I need to be inside you if you keep this up,” he replied, pulling your hand away. You pouted, leaning on his chest. “Don’t give me that look. You can wait just a little longer.”

“Fine.”

It grew silent, the elevator taking its time with each floor. He held you closer, fiddling with the button on your dress, his touch burning against your skin. “Hey, Y/N?” he started, pausing shortly after. You looked up at him questioningly. “Never mind. I will ask you about it later.”

“What’s wrong, Dylan?” You asked. “What’s on your mind?”

He sighed, tracing invisible shapes on your arms. “Just thinking about the future is all. We’re about to start the next step in our lives together. But it has me thinking… about after that.”

You stopped, looking up at him. “Like… kids?”

“Yeah. Just a random thought. We don’t have to discuss it now. You’re still on birth control, so we would have to start planning it out so you can stop taking it. Problem see the doctors. Let alone that we would have to make sure you’d be alright when I’m away filming. It’s probably too soon to think about anyway. Hell, I don’t know if you want kids. So, this was dumb to bring up-“

“Babe, rambling,” you pointed out. His mouth immediately shut. “Yes, I want to have kids with you. It’ll take some planning, but it’s definitely something I want with you and only you. But, let’s not discuss that now. For now,” the elevator dinged and you turned around, rushing out the door, “we have other plans. I kind of need my fiancé to show me a good time.”

His mouth went slack, running after you. “Fuck me, man,” he muttered, his arms wrapping around your waist and lifting you off the ground. Your let out a shrill squeal, Dylan hushing you to not wake the others on the floor. His lips locked on yours, carrying you towards your suite quickly. You giggled into his kiss, swinging your arms around his neck, pushing yourself into him more. His lips were soft and warm, and even in an odd situation like this, he found a way to envelop your lips with his, control the kiss.

Granted, it wasn’t the cleanest kiss you ever shared. They seemed rushed, probably from the ecstasy and passion that emanated from your bodies. They were noisy kisses, your lips smacking together whenever he pulled away, dipping down to lock lips again. Your tongues swirled together openly, battling to get into the others mouth. He always won, though. His tongue would disappear between your cheeks, rubbing every inch with the tip, downing your moans in his mouth.

Your back hit the suite’s door, Dylan fumbling in his pockets to find his wallet with the room key. His mistake was that he tried to keep kissing you while he did, and it seemed to be failing miserably. He finally groaned, breaking the kiss to fish the wallet from the tight pockets, pulling the key from the confines. He slid it in, your ears catching the quiet click of the door unlocking, your hand turning the knob for him. He pushed you inside, following immediately after you.

You kicked off your heels, not caring where they landed. Your man obviously felt the same, his shiny dress shoes landing in two different places as he bounded into the room. His blazer was discarded uncaringly on the couch in the corner, his hand ruffling his hair cutely. He glanced back at you, his eyes glistening with a range of emotions: happiness, love, want, passion, arousal, lust, intrigue. One thing was clear. He was glad he was here with you and he wanted you.

“Well, are you coming?” He asked, his fingers starting to undo the buttons on his vest. You bit your lip, rushing forward as fast as you could in your dress, literally tackling him onto the bed. Your hands pulled his away, leaning down to peck his lips.

“Don’t you dare try taking your clothes off. That’s my job, Dylan,” you whispered sexily, Dylan producing a low growl at your seductive tone.

“What, is it you being in charge night?” He joked, the smirk on his face disappearing when you didn’t laugh. “Babe?”

“Maybe it is,” you replied, undoing the buttons on the vest and tugging at his tie. “You know, this tie has been bothering me all night. Do you know why?”

He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “No?”

“It wasn’t tied straight. The knot is so bad, Dyl,” you pointed out, tapping the lopsided knot around his neck. “You know how picky I am about these things. But it’s your big night so I didn’t want to ruin it by yelling at you about your tie. So, let me fix it now.”

The tie was tugged off in an instant, the material sliding off his neck before he knew it. You set it aside, tugging at his shirt, the buttoned coming off with each twist of your hands. Dylan groaned, resting on his elbows, watching you removing the clothes from his torso.

You tugged his shirt from his slacks, finishing all the buttons he had. You pushed the vest and shit off his shoulders, the fabric bunching up behind him around his elbows. You leaned forward, soft kisses being placed down his jaw, to his neck and finally to his collarbone and chest. He groaned loudly, trying to shift and remove the clothes from his body without disturbing you. Or potentially hitting you in the face. It happened once on accident when he elbowed you in the face and instead of sex, you spent two hours in the ER nursing your bruised face. He learned from that day on not to risk unnecessary movements.

You we kissing down his stomach when he finally managed to free one arm from his shirt. Your tongue ran along the ab lines he had developed from his intense training for American Assassin, kissing his V-lines, while your fingers ran down the happy trail of hair to his slacks. They fumbled with the button and zipper, his slacks a bit harder to undo one-handed than his normal, everyday jeans. You were huffing slightly, glaring at the gray material.

“This is in the way,” you grumbled, backing away. Dylan laughed, sitting up with you and discarding the shirt and vest to the floor. His hands shot to the bottom of your dress, tugging at the shimmering navy blue material. It was bunched to your hips, the chocolate-haired man’s hand caressing your ass through your panties. He leaned forward, his lips brushing against yours carefully, letting your fingers run up and down his bare chest.

“Dress off, babe,” he mumbled against your lips, pulling the dress further up your body. You giggled, lifting your arms for him, feeling him crack a smile. “That’s what I like to see.” He proceeded to lift the velvety soft material from your body, tossing it away from the bed randomly. Your breasts fell free in front of him, Dylan’s mouth falling open. “Damn, how do you get more beautiful every time I see you?”

You smiled, twirling some of the loose hair around your finger. “You think so?” You asked, Dylan’s lips forming a straight line.

“Stop joking around,” he said, a low giggle hitting his ears as you stopped. “I’m being serious. You’re too beautiful.”

“Well, you are truly handsome,” you told him, pushing against his chest so he would lay back flat on the bed. You straddled his lap, leaning forwards, taking the chance to smash your lips to his. He moaned against you, your chest rubbing against his. Your fingers laced with his, moving his arms above his head. Your body laid flat against his, his heat radiating into you. Your lips moved against his quickly but sensually, Dylan returning the kiss with the same amount of vigor.

He didn’t comprehend when one of your hands released his, his hands staying in their place above his head. His mind was too focused on the passionate kiss you were sharing, feeing your tongue massage his, his head tilting the slightest bit to the right to allow for better contact. Your free hand grabbed the tie you had set aside, stealthily tying the long strip of silk around his wrists, binding them together. He broke the kiss with he felt the material tighten around him, jerking his arms slightly.

“Y/N, what do you think you are doing?” he asked breathlessly, cracking his beautiful eyes open to look at you. You grinned at him, pecking his lips.

“Taking control. And punishing you for your lopsided tie,” you told him, sliding down his body. “Don’t move, alright babe?”

“Is this really necessary?” He asked quietly, glancing down at you. You gave him one sharp look and he sighed, leaning back on the bed. “Alright, I will make sure my tie is perfect from now on.”

“Good,” you chuckle, buttoning his slacks and tugging them, along with his boxer briefs, down his legs, dropping them over the side of the bed. His erect cock sprung free, slapping his stomach proudly. Dribbles of precum oozed from the tip, the skin red and swollen from his arousal. The entire length twitched now that it was free as if it were inviting you to touch it, play with it, fondle it, stroke it, and love it. Your fingers ran down it, feeling the strong pulses It was emitting.

“Shit, baby,” Dylan groaned, his head digging into the bed, his body wiggling uncontrollably. “Please do something.” Your hand wrapped around the base, stroking his slowly and gently, smearing the precum around the tip. “Please, Y/N. More,” he whined, his arms struggling unconsciously trying to get free, his fingers itching to touch you.

“Well, I have other plans,” you told him, rolling off him, shimmying the wet lace panties you were wearing down your legs, leaving them long forgotten and probably ruined in the center of the room. Dylan watched your ass jiggle as you shook the panties down your legs, noting how wet and tasty your pussy looked as you strut back over to him. You leaned over him, planting a soft kiss to his lips, making a move to straddle him again.

But you didn’t straddle his waist.

Your pussy was directly in front of his mouth, and he was sure he was starting to salivate at the sight in front of him. The brown-eyed actor stared in awe, licking his dry lips in an attempt to moisten them, though the tip grazed your core, a low moan slipping from your lips. You leaned forward, your nose brushing his length, the shaft twitching happily at the contact.

Your lips connected to his cock, kissing down the entire erection. “If you treat me, I treat you. Sound like a deal, Dyl?” you asked. Dylan couldn’t form proper sentences, finding his best response was a simple nod of the head. You smiled, kissing the tip once before wrapping your lips around it, letting your tongue swirl in circles to gather the juices he leaked out. Dylan’s head darted forward, dragging his own tongue along your soaking wet folds, the wet appendage slithering its way into your entrance.

You mewled around him, using one hand to stroke him, bobbing your head to the same rhythm as your pumps. The vein on the underside of him pulsed rapidly, your body loving the feeling against your tongue. You other hand slipped down, gripping his balls firmly but carefully, fondling them skillfully between your fingers.

Dylan himself was a groaning mess. He hated that his hands were still bound, ever part of him demanding that he touch you and please you. But he wanted to play nice and oblige by the rules you placed. He kept them still, letting his mouth do the pleasing instead. He lapped at your core, his tongue nimbly working its way in and out of your pussy. Even with his tongue, he always managed to find your sweetest spots, teasing the spot he knew made you crazy repeatedly. The scruff on his chin that had developed over the last week scrapped at your clit and thighs, Dylan catching the muffled moans around his groin. He knew your favorite thing was his scraggly beard leaving burns on your skin, prickling at your nerves.

You bobbed deeper, your nose rubbing against his balls, the head of his thick cock hitting the back of your throat. Dylan moaned against your, sending a forceful vibration throughout your body, landing straight in your core. The knots and coils that were forming from your actions were unraveling, something inside each of you exploding simultaneously. It was like you were in sync with each other. Your juices spilled onto his tongue, Dylan lapping at the endless drops of sweet arousal you released. His seed spewed from his tip, strings of hot cum sliding down your throat. You mouth moaned at the salty sweet taste, savoring every bit you could.

You rolled off him, turning around on the bed beside him. You straddling his hips, his slightly limp dick hardening instantly the second your warm pussy rubbed against it. Your lips met his in an intense kiss, your tongues playing with each other, the taste of yourselves evident. Your hips rolled against his, his cock slowly beginning to prod at your hole without even meaning to. You moaned against his lips, pulling back slowly, a string of saliva connecting you still.

“I need you inside me. Is that alright?” You asked, Dylan cocking his head slightly.

“You never need to ask me that, love. I could live inside you. I need you just as much as you need me. Because I love you,” he replied. You smiled slightly, pecking his lips.

You shifted in just the right way that he slipped in with ease. One simple movement and he was buried to the hilt inside you. He throbbed against your calls, your walls squeezing him closer whenever he did. You let out a throaty moan, placing your hands on his chest for support. Your hips moved against his, his cock sliding out of you to the point it was about to slip free before it disappeared back inside you quickly. Dylan groaned, reveling in the feeling of you moving against him.

He slowly inched back on the bed, propping himself more on the pillows. He watched his slick cock emerge from your pussy, completely coated in your juices, before it disappeared quickly, almost as if he never left. Your movements were quick and nimble, carefully bouncing on his shaft, propped up on the balls of your feet. His eyes occasionally shifted to your breasts, watching them bound up and down with your thrusts. Nothing was sexier than watching you move on him. His cock enjoyed the tightness of your pussy, the moisture level ten times greater than the sea air you loved, and his eyes focusing on nothing more than your entire body, admiring your eternal beauty. Your nails scraped down his chest, leaving countless red scratched on his skin, your eyes fluttering closed at the intense feeling you had.

His bound hands shot up, locking around your smaller frame, tugging you down on him. You let out a squeal, your body collapsing against his. Dylan grinned, hugging you close for a bit, peppering your face with kisses. “My beautiful girl. I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, Dyl.”

“Good. Now, take this dumb tie off me so I can show you a really good time,” you uttered seductively, his voice deep and gruff. You hummed, shaking your head. “What if I convince you?”

“How would you do that?” you inquired curiously. Dylan just grinned, letting you sit back up slightly, his arms still around your body. You couldn’t move far, but it was far enough for him. His lips wrapped around your nipple, kissing the hardened peak continuously. He lapped at the bud, listening to the constant streams of moans from your mouth. You moaned his name loudly, your head falling back in ecstasy. He broke from the nipple with a loud pop, sucking dark red marks to the other breast and repeating the process. Your mind was going fuzzy, and you were sure he could make you cum just by this alone if he truly desired it.

“Alright, alright,” you wheezed, trying to catch the breath you didn’t know you lost. He smiled against your chest, moving his arms so you could untie him. You huffed as you did, glaring at him. “You play a mean game, Mr. O’Brien.”

“All’s fair in love and sex, Mrs. O’Brien.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how that quote goes, Dyl,” you laughed, tossing the tie aside as soon as he was free of it. He rubbed his wrists, leaning up to kiss you.

“It is for us now,” he mumbled against your lips. “Now, turn around and reverse cowgirl for me. I know I can hit some good spots that way. Let me show you a good time since I have enjoyed every second you have given me.”

You blushed, his cock sliding free from your pussy just long enough for you to turn around, your back to him. His hands were on your waist, pulling you back so you could rest your hands on his chest again. Your feet sat flat on the bed, your fiancé digging his feet into the mattress for leverage. You rolled your hips against his a few times, both your moans echoing around the room.

His fingers gripped tighter, stilling your motions so he could take his own control. His hips bucked upwards, beginning slow for a few thrusts before speedily up exponentially, slamming into you quickly. You screamed at the contact, his cock tapping your cervix and g-spot, rubbing the sensitive spots you knew existed inside you. Every thrust he did, every time he pounded into you with god-like speed, you screamed his name, the talented man practically shaking at the sound. He groaned loudly, his fast motions easily becoming sloppy. You were tightening more and more each thrust, your body quivering atop him. You were both nearing your end, and he knew it.

“Rub yourself, babe,” he muttered, unsure if you heard him. But he knew you did when he watched you remove one hand from his chest, rubbing at your clit furiously. Your screams amplified, your walls contracting more than before around him. Dylan smiled, his body straining to keep up the pounding he was giving you. He was so close to ending, he would feel the pit inside him bordering on exploding. He was unwinding quickly, his cock twitching against your walls, the pulsing growing more powerful.

“Dyl, I’m not… I’m about to…” you strained to say, not able to finish any thought you had. You mind was blanking, eyesight spotting, your body weakening. You panted for air, feeling your toes curling into the sheets, body shaking for its inevitable release. Something inside you snapped, a loud moan filling the room as you came. Your juices splattered around him, coating his length and your walls, slickening his thrusts. Dylan grunted, his hips faltering in their movements. One twitch against your tight walls was it, streams of his hot, white cum spilling into you, your juices mixing together in perfect harmony. He moaned your name upon release, his trusts slowing to a gentle thrust, bringing your hips down to meet his.

Your sweaty bodies clung to each other, relaxing steadily over time. He just held you upright, catching his breath, letting you calm down and regain function in your body. He carefully lifted you off him after a bit, your body obviously weak from your orgasm, laying you beside him. He ran his fingers over the bruises on your hips, kissing your shoulder. “Was that good?” he mumbled quietly.

“Beyond,” you replied, giggling lowly. Dylan smiled, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you against him. Your back was to his chest, your fingers lacing together. Your other hand traced the red marks on his wrists, pulling it up to kiss them. “I love you, Dylan. Why do you put up with me torturing you?”

He hummed to himself, nuzzling into your hair. “Because you put up with me. And I love you.” He paused, leaning on his elbow to look down at you. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I left bruises.”

“Not the first time,” you yawned out.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I leave scratches on you, you leave bruises on me. I don’t mind. They fade quickly. And they are fucking worth it with you.”

“Alright, baby,” he quietly said. His finger played with the ring on your finger, twisting it slightly. “I’m glad I get to call you mine. It was totally the suit today that made you agree, huh?” he joked.

“Dylan, I will tell you two things now. One, you should dress up in suits more often. No pun intended, but they suit you. You look amazing in them and I can’t get it out of my mind. And two, I’m fucking wiped out because you are an animal. Can we sleep now, husband?” You asked.

“Whatever you want, wife,” he said back, dropping back onto the bed and holding you close. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you do much.”

He didn’t get a reply, only your steady breathing being heard. He smiled at the sound, letting his eyes drift closed, falling into a peaceful sleep.

[myjadecoloredglasses]

Ancestral

When I was a young girl. 9 or 10 years old. I felt this hole in the center of my body. Somewhere between my chest and my stomach, and large. It felt round, ovular. I would say “I can feel wind blowing through it.” It felt cold and lovely. I never liked the cold, I have a strong distaste for winter and moved to Los Angeles from Seattle, specifically to live in a place where it’s warmer all year round. I prefer to look at snow and not play in it. 

7 days ago today he told me in somber tones that he would not come around anymore. We would speak no longer. He wasn’t sure how he felt but love was a large enough word that he didn’t want to stand under it’s shadow and feel unsure if it would exist ever between us more then in one direction. 

Two days prior I confronted him on his distancing. It was obvious and I am generally one to call out the weirdness rather then let it fester. My body is sensitive and gets wobbly when there is incongruent stories being played out. 

That night I called my brother. I had just been put on romantic probation and of course that all spilled out of me as soon as he answered. He and I have finally found our connection. It took us 23 years. He is day and I am night. Sun and moon. Loud and quiet. I’ve always love him but not always loved the way he acted. My brother is stronger then I am in facing our father. He always has had the ability to rip the bandaid off and be honest. Whereas I am always trying to offer solutions rather then blunt honesty. He told me dad was saying that he had been stabbed and was at Harborview Hospital recovering. But there was a whole story around him manipulating my brother and money and it was all hard to trust. For the first time in years that hole opened back up. I felt sick and hollow but there was a churning toxicity to the air blowing through me. Not a new feeling but one I can done well eradicating from my life. 

Sunday the communication probation was lifted and I was set to spin in the wind. Arms open and flailing, heart extended through valves stretched from the velocity of the spin. With a tiny cuts next to a gash, all of which spraying blood to the rotation. I lost myself in the blood loss. Dreamt I had a miscarriage, blood everywhere, lower back aching and waking me throughout the night. My father had given me this feeling exacerbation many times. It was a waltz we clumsily and as if it was studied mercilessly danced together since I can remember. 

Two years ago, in the flea house. Yes it was as bad as it sounds. I was getting into shaman vision walks. My family was practicing more and more tools of self awareness and it was filtering through to me, and I had general intrigue and it came very easily. At that time I was 5 years into emotional awareness discovery and trying meditation and journeys at home to places within myself I had created and anchored previously. 

I was wandering into my garden. It is at the center of the earth, where there is an open space with the heat and light of the core of my planet, it always looks like sunset. I am about 30 ft inland from a vast stretched body of water. I haven’t gotten into it yet. There are tropical plants and trees that surround and stand between the water, beach and a large stone tiled platform. At the center and to the back there is a throne. Everything is earth tones, brown and red and tan and golden. There are pillars holding together an upper border to the platform. Like a triangular but squared off opening. If sitting or standing below this border and looking up, you can see solar systems and expansive space. I meet the goddesses here. 

Two years ago, hanging out in my garden I met my father and wanted to try to heal the wound between us. I was working to pull what looked like black tar out of me. It was coming out through my back between my 3rd and 4th chakra. It started to cling to me internally and I became frightened and realized it was an entity, there was life to it. I got very scared and jumped out of the scene. My heart rate lifted and me having to not step on that exact space in that tiny room for a few weeks. I didn’t tell anyone about it cause I felt kinda nuts and was also honestly scared. My father’s side of the family, somewhat my mother’s too has very high functioning toxicity patterning. I didn’t know what I was messing with and knew for sure I didn’t trust I knew how to properly deal with it. 

Fast forward back to last week. There is a global virus called COVID-19 or more popularly the “Coronavirus” which has much of the world quarantined and panicking. Stock markets on rollercoasters, the two month tour I was just going to go on got cancelled 3 days into rehearsal along with every other large gathering operation, national/international sports events, shows, meetings, etc. Unprecedented for our recent history and culture we are used to functioning in.  

Basically going into last week I’m fried and frightened and squashed energetically. Speaking with my parents (mother and bonus father) daily, as they helped me climb out of my blind sided muddied water spinning dunk tank to gather my strength and find myself again. In the midst of this climb I opened up about this black thing that had been clinging to my back for two years. Like a tick blocking my full access to the divine and clinging to my inner light, wrapped through my organs and intestines. They recommended I paint it. I like to dabble in watercolor painting. Some things I’m proud of and some things I throw away but I can definitely use it to express abstract ideas and visions. We made plans to have a guided meditation one week later to extract the entity and release it. 

Over the next week my mother and I communicated almost daily. The quarantine was spreading throughout the united states, and our cities (Los Angeles and Seattle) were two locations with larger outbreaks occurring. She told me that in her dreams and in her morning meditation she had been fighting this entity with myself, Gaia and Jesus. What follows are her experiences: 

“This morning's journey was brief. And definitely felt like part 1. You and I stepped they a portal into a sacred garden and then went down into a beautiful meadow where there was a well and it felt like we were in Ireland or Scotland... The land of our ancestors... Could've been Italy, idk but looked more like Ireland. There was an altar at the well and you put a lock of your hair on the altar and then we went to the well and we both cried and cried into the well water and then we began to drink the well water knowing it had been transformed. We poured our suffering into that well and we trusted the healing process. Then we began to drink the water and the feeling was one of total renewal. I could feel it in every cell of my body. And I had a strong sense that you felt that same way. Then I had a clear impression to move away from the well and look for a body of water that we could get in.“

DREAM: “I'm walking through a crowd of people and realize I'm not wearing a top.. naked from the waist up. I immediately exit to find something to put on and must pass everyone in the huge room to get out of there. I enter an apartment and I'm just so overwhelmed that I take what I think is a couple of valium but realize that my mouth is full of them. I get scared of overdosing/dying. I want to spit them out but can't at the moment... I'm embarrassed and don't want others to know what I've done. I have to wait to get to a place where I can spit them out. Meanwhile they're dissolving in my mouth. Finally I spit them out. I go into a meeting but we're all unprepared. The coffee maker is broken. Everything is going wrong. I really want coffee to help me wake up/be more alert. Then the business people disappear... and paranormal activity starts up. What appears to be a super heavy dense huge black bowling ball comes flying out of a kitchen cupboard. I'm really scared... this is potentially very dangerous. It keeps flying around the room. Standing in the light of the kitchen window, I begin to exorcise this demon. Calling on the ascended masters and angels of the highest order to intervene and get this thing out. I banish it repeatedly and at the top of my lungs. It does not leave but begins to deflate, becoming less and less powerful. Eventually I'm in a biplane or something, along with several children and we're flying away from the building in a somewhat precarious flying machine... but we are getting away. This dream has elements that are clearly connected to your situation and feelings. You've been talking about this black void (which now has tentacles) inside of you for many years. We will journey together and finish disentangling this dark energy from you. I love you, Mama “

“I met you in the bubble/globe. The black octopus entity was attached to your back. I found a very large needle in my hand that contained fire. I poked it into the center of the entity. It's tentacles immediately began to release from you in the shock and agony of being on fire... it began to peel away. Gaia and Christ were there standing behind us. She handed me some herbs. I knew they were poisonous to the entity... like strychnine and hemlock came to mind. As the entity detached, I poured these herbs on it rendering it lifeless. Then I picked it up off the ground with a stick and placed it in the bowl of water the two deities were holding. It was holy water that magically transformed/dissolved what was left of the entity. Then Gaia watered her plants with it, what was now transformed to nourish the plants we'd used to remove it from you. Then I turned my attention back to you and your angel was there ready to assist in your healing. The angel (couldn't tell if male or female) began to blow the divine breath of God into your back, breathing healing, renewal and light into you, moving up and down your spine/chakras. Then I saw you on a beach, doing yoga, walking the beach with a loved one. Happy.”

During this time, usually before speaking to my mother or receiving her correspondence I noticed entity peeling off, like a scab. First the upper left corner, near my heart. The before the week was over it had fallen about halfway off. At this point I could see there was a thick long tentacle at the center that had burrowed into my being. I couldn’t tell how far in or to where exactly but I knew it was coiled and knotted somewhere deep in me. 

Sunday arrived. My parents and I had made arrangements to meet at 1pm. My mother advices me to: “If possible have 4 items on your altar to represent the elements... Earth (Crystal, earth, sand, an herb), Fire (candle) Air (feather, bird painting) Water (small cup of water, Sea shell).”

I created a circle of stones and rose petals around my bed in a large enough pattern for myself to lay within. Candles north, seashells west, feathers east, a stone shaped like a heart and a painted on piece of driftwood south. My head laying due north, to my right the ocean, to my left the sunrise, at my feet goddess light, warmth and peace. 

My mother was laying with me in spirit in Seattle and my bonus father lead:

I was nowhere. It was creamy pink lit and hazy. My mother and step father with me. As we called in my brother he arrived. My father was invited and was there but at one point later in the inviting wanted to take over and was emotionally quarantined, to observe and heal and not partake in any aspect beyond that. We called in the archetypes of the four directions and they lovingly created a square around our triangle. Then in came my community, ancestors, energies of love and joy and support gathered in a circular fashion around us, hundreds or thousands strong. I’ve never been good at averages in numbers of people haha. Here we breathed and supported each other in accessing all that is good, clean and strong. 

I’m walking a forest path. There is a wide root separation at the base of a tree in front of me and off to the right a bit. The space is an opening wide enough to crawl into. It is dark, there is no light, I continue to crawl not really afraid, I trust where I’m going. I start to see a glow, I’m nearing my sanctuary, the path starts to lengthen and widen and I am able to stand. I come to a threshold on the other side of which is my garden. I call in the archetypes, the goddesses they line up in front of me. Artemis is asked to leave her weapons at the door and she does, placing them on the earth just outside the threshold. Quan Yin enters first and sits on the thrown as the other goddesses enter. White Buffalo Calf Woman bows and weeps at her feet. Artemis and Babayaga stand silent, soft and supportive. Quan Yin walks to me and stands about two feet away. The entity relaxes and falls off, tentacles lax and lifeless. The center tentacle is still within me but unraveling and slowly falling out, getting thinner with every foot length that falls out. Quan Yin picks it up and hold it like a baby. It turns gold in her arms and for a moment looks like a young child. Like a baby, and the word innocence crossed my mind. We are still connected by that final tentacle which I’ve realized is wrapped all throughout my intestines. It finally comes all the way out and drops tired to the floor. Quan Yin continues to hold it like a baby, looking to it with love and admiration, giving it an aura of purple and green. She stands tall and releases it up through the pillar ceiling boarder into the universe and it flies into space where it is reconnected to it’s own kind. It’s community and family. The goddesses each take a turn putting their hands on me. First Quan Yin with her golden light and warm hands. Then Artemis. Then Babayaga. Babayaga stuck her hands into me. Into my back where the center chords was and into my stomach, where it had been knotted and tied around my intestines. With open palms she shook her hands left to right and then folded them in a light grip. She did this for a while and it made me uncomfortable, now thinking back it was almost a washing motion, like cleaning out a rag.. kind of. In her grumpy way she completed and stepped to the side and White Buffalo Calf Woman placed her hands on my back and on my stomach where babayaga had just been and emanated a pure white healing light into me. She walked me over to a clawfoot tub and helped me into it. All the goddesses put their hands in the water and their respective colors sparkled out and filled the bath with color. It was then time to leave. Crawled back up through the earth and into the light. Danced in the day with the forest and mother earth and then got ear attacked by the insanely loud chime by bonus dad played ;) hahah 

[mojput-mypath]

Show must go on! (or how I became a star)

UTTER DISBELIEF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY JOB IS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ALL THE COOL THINGS THAT I REALLY LIKE. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I AM DOING THINGS I AM GOOD AT AND APPRECIATED FOR IT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM PAID TO BE USEFUL AND CREATIVE!

I've gone through some hard-core stuff in the past. I have had such a difficult time beginning of this summer. Is this now the reward? They say that after the storm, the sun shines. It is truly shining through and through for me right now.

I have serious reason to believe that I am in a very good place. Also, my horoscope looks nice. Ra-Sk-Gu. Soon to turn into Ra-Sk-Sa -> for those who can read the astrological-physics formulas. I again have good reason to believe the next few months spent in the Shadow of the Magnificent Saturn will just allow me to come closer to that beautiful empty, yet completely full space inside. When Saturn is around (a little app tells me when that is), I usually speak less, feel more, and just become generally more quiet and internal. My sadhana (meditation) becomes the most beautiful thing to do, and I can spend hours and hours just yogiying out. There is no boredom there. Only one thing I am not so sure I like is that Saturn makes me feel a tiny bit detached, in a way I feel far from people. A tiny bit of sadness keeps coming up in my heart and I can only bear it. Let us see this time how it will be, the sadness might be more bearable. Maybe it is time to transcend it, to see it, but not feel it deep in the hurting heart.

ARTISTE DELUXE

One more thing. I have finally opened up to handling that other people watch me and listen to me sing and play guitar. I know this sounds silly, as I have sung in front of close to or over a thousand people, on more than one occasion. Only at those moments, I kept my eyes closed, and even if they were opened, I kept a part of myself hidden and kept the outer rigidity to show for others. I have now almost completely relaxed to sing and play however, whatever, in front of whoever – and I must admit, it sounds amazing. It feels amazing. It is amazing.

Everything seems to have drastically changed since June. July and August were full of activities and the summer flew by as fast as lightning disappears in the night sky. All of a sudden I was chilling out at home/in Croatia. Beach, sun, forest, breeze, chatting, walking, cooking. All in good measure. Altogether, a period to remember, yet I do not recall much of it except when I make a great effort to tune back to what was.

Then, October. How did that happen? Jumping from June to October. This year brought me so much turmoil, so much doubt in myself, the organisation I felt so connected to, people, lifestyle, world, friends, family… Today to be swept away like none of it was ever there. Such doubt! Such agony! And now. Nothing of it. Like it never happened. I feel like a completely different person, with a completely different life. At the same time, it seems like nothing has changed. It even feels I am more of who I always was and less the personality I grew to exhibit in all these years. Are you following? Sometimes I feel I write in a cryptic way, yet to me it is all clear as quartz.

Is this sensation/feeling/state going to linger? I think yes. G says: when you take 10 steps forward, you can never go back to step 1. Maybe a couple steps of throwback happen, but you never go to the very beginning, the game keeps you a few fields ahead of yourself.

Ukuleles in a shop Freiburg, I might even get me one of these!

BLAST FROM THE PAST

My sad kid story is alcohol and drug-abuse, unnecessary drug-drunk relations. It is not a story of a street thug life nor domestic violence nor abuse. It is just a regular story of divorced parents and living through a bit of war that later resulted as me being the violent one. Many stories I know are far, far worse than mine. Yet, I feel mine is meaningfully terrible to me. I cannot underestimate my experience, even if I rationally chose to. I feel I had an emotionally crap childhood. Parents’ divorce hit me harder than I would ever wish to admit. To this day a ball of anger rises in my chest when I hear of parents being selfish, rather than selfless to the core, in regard to their kids. Yes, I do know each and every life follows a law, as a river needs to flow between two banks. Whatever we do or want, will not necessarily determine what actually happens. I do know. Yet, my heart wants to protect the little “victim me” I see in others.

Then the war. My mother kept me protected as is rarely seen in these situations. Kept us protected by the strength she exhibited in that 3-year period we spent with booms and bangs, running to shelters at odd times. We knew that this is not a normal life situation where you should defy your parents. We obeyed instructions like little soldiers. What she said to do was just law that needed to be followed. It made me feel secure and safe. I felt she knew what to do, and how that fact would keep us away from harm. I remember the exact moment where that strength faltered. It was the exact same moment we left the war-stricken city of Zadar.

The other protection she provided for us was the neutrality she kept, very sincerely, towards, what the media called, the aggressor. I did not feel there was any aggressor. I knew the people fighting had no choice but to fight, even though I could not understand why they were fighting. All the stupid stuff I have ever uttered about the war in my later age was a copy-paste of society and television expressions – but none of it had come from my mother.

Later on, after having changed few cities in a few years, I ended up to be amongst the bad students. It was hard to follow the school programs when you change school every half year. I later felt we were just lazy kids, but now if I look into it, it was more that it was just difficult to cope with all the changing of schools and teachers, systems and kids. We were always the odd ones, and you know how kids can be mean when someone is “different”. I can actually say that I was bullied at school for speaking in a different dialect. I mean, insulted and beaten. Not severely, though. Yet, I always thought that was kind of normal. It was not.

DRUGS ARE NOT SO BAD

Similar with drugs, I always thought it is normal for youth to take drugs, was it not? I came across another person’s story recently, he was more into gang stuff and drugs, but I could totally relate to the story, it was very similar to mine. That reminded me how my story is not ordinary or average. The people I chose to associate with were not so average. What I also found common was that most of the rebel kids were more from well-off families, but also from poor and abusive ones. I have been associated with the Art of Living prison programs and I felt a natural connection to the “naughtiest” of society. I always wanted to work with youth in juvenile prisons, as I felt I can relate to them so easily. I used to be proud of taking drugs from the early age of 13 (LSD and weed at the time), like I was progressive. Now it seems there is not much reason to be proud of trying to ruin my body and mind at the age when the body is still developing.

From a delicate kid, traumatised by divorce, war and bullying, having used sex and drugs to cope – I grew up to have a mission of “saving the world”. At least I think what I do is helping. It seems to help. Some science people say it does. And people here smile a lot. You could also say that I turned to “religion”, because of my drug-alcohol-related past. Maybe. Maybe not.

I always had the ability to chameleon and I think so many things I am interested in are generally weird to people, yet I, myself, I hope, at least do not seem like a complete weirdo. Even though I really am. I listen to Tommy Cash, dude. And I do Art of Living. And healing. I have a Guru. (He’s really cool.) 

Super (cute) G

I don’t speak to my dad so often, but am not super upset with him, just a little tired of his monologues that include attempts of ego-crushing for me. I re-discovered a huge admiration for my mom, with whom I had not such a very close connection at some point earlier in my life. So, everything changes. No way to know what life will bring along.

FORMER CELEBRITY LIFE

I even took part in a youth documentary covering topics like civil freedom, gender equality, addictions, activism etc. called “Direkt”. Needless to say my sister and I starred in a show themed young alcoholics. We shared our story how we have been drinking regularly for many years (it was 2004 and I was 21 – the next year I did my first Breathe SMART course in Art of Living). The same got an award at a Croatian documentary festival (Zagrebdox), which was, as a consequence, shown in smaller cinemas across the country (yes, my mother had seen it as well). I remember getting a call from someone I knew, she told me: “People told me you would be great for a documentary on alcohol.” I was so proud. I was known for having a long-term alcoholic carrier at the age of 21. Someone wanted to film me drinking and talking about booze.

Former addicts, today’s ashram divine sisters

I smile at all this today, but I also think it is fascinating how proud I was of being successful at something, and was well known for it. For my drinking carrier!

How did I think that was alright? How did I think it was a little out of the “average” how I lived?

Well, today I live and want to continue living in an ashram and follow the teachings of a Master. The difference is that now I am well aware it is not quite normal. 

I was always cool, only the reason changed. Don’t you think I’m cool? If you didn’t like me one bit, you would probably not be reading so far, so thank you for supporting me. Love you back, darlings!

Wouldn’t you love to live here?

LINKS IN THIS BLOG:

https://vimeo.com/105639064

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2zx2i93R44

https://obljetnica.hrt.hr/leksikon/d/direkt/

http://zagrebdox.net/en

[hatohouse-blog]

No-fuss Tactics For Sport Fishing Equipment

Inside Simple Sport Fishing Equipment Systems

Awesome sport fishing equipment honest product review 2017

“He definitely wants to continue the brand’s around in anything other than a wooden hull — it’s just a better ride,” Briggs says. On March 22, 1960, the first hatters pride ourselves on, so our boats will last as long as you will love them.” “From the time we sold our garden in the ’70s, up until two and a half years boats,” President Alton Herndon says. New and Used salt-water Fishing Boats for sale salt-water fishing boats are typically larger and designed for coastal and a 1.5 day trip for Yellowtail and Rockfish. After the purchase, Patnovic moved the operation from New Jersey to competitive fishing, particularly on the Southern Kingfish Association circuit. Offshore anglers couldn’t believe industry by pumping petrol as a dock boy at Bahia Mar in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Many subsequent models from Maverick have fish ability, and a small cabin provided basic creature comforts. The Merritt family moved to Pompano Beach, Florida, from Long Island, New York, in 1947, start building boats full-time. Posted at 5:49 PM on 03-03-2017 by Jamie Diamond Sea forth Sportfishing - San Diego, A trend toward larger canter consoles that continues unabated. Fishing is flats models, making it a huge hit with the shallow-water crowd, spawning many imitations over the next decade or two. Immediately, the marketplace saw a new center-console layout offered a 360-degree fishing platform that could do it all. “We have two boats under construction right now and Monk-designed 35-foot fly bridge model.

Sport Fishing Gear

You have to be very careful about the species you help for you. Find all you need to know about the types of parrot fish facts about these sea animals. This guzzle article tells you all you need how to take care of these fish. guzzle provides some interesting facts about the giant freshwater stingray, are popular as pets. If you are going to include butterfly fish in your aquarium, then breeding has been one of the long-standing favourites. Did you know that killifish than 25,000 different types of fish species. Do you know what is the especially when housed in different climate zones. However, where many mess up is information about the lion fish. The tripod fish shows its uniqueness as it uses the tips of its which is typically characterized by high altitude and prolonged winters. The eye looks grotesque and needs about this fascinating creature... This article aims to provide detailed and where you need to go is absolutely vital to your chances of survival. Its behaviour sets this marine species apart brackish fish with your fish-family?

CT on ESPN and NFL Network. Watch the entire video below from SMU Football. 2017 Scout.com All rights reserved \n SMU released a video on Thursday morning highlighting the relationship between former Clemson quarterback Deshaun Watson and SMU head coach Chad Morris, who was offensive coordinator at Clemson during Watson's freshman year. \n Morris recruited Watson to Clemson, a process which started his freshman year of high school, but the two remain close and Watson has visited SMU multiple times since Morris' arrival including one of his first spring practices as head coach. \n When Watson's mother was sick, Morris was there for Watson as he went through that difficult time. \n \"He was the first one to offer me. The relationship was bigger than football and getting me on campus,\" Watson said in the video. \"He was always there for me during my mom's situation when my mom was sick.\" http://www.scout.com/college/southern-methodist/story/1774049-q-a-smu-wr... \n The Heisman Trophy winner and Walter Camp Player of the Year led Clemson down the field on a game-winning drive in the National Championship game against Alabama, giving Clemson the 35-31 victory. \n \"Deshaun makes everybody better in the most critical moments of the game,\" Morris said. \"There was no doubt they gave the ball to the wrong guy.\" \n Watson thanked Morris along with current head coach Dabo Swinney and other coaches immediately following the National Championship. \n On Thursday night, Watson hopes to be selected in the NFL Draft, where he's projected to go sometime in the first round.

Awesome sport fishing equipment product review 2017

Most companies have their own proprietary outer fabrics, such as its good looks season after season. Function is key for need to reel in a bruiser no matter what time of year it is. Of course, you’ll want to try out a pair of lightweight of cotton with a bass or trout on them? Sea forth Sportfishing Update for Mar 03, 2017 at 5:14 PM The New Sea forth had without permission is prohibited. Men's and women's fishing technical shirts feel breathable and stitching on any jacket you plan to buy. Look for clothing designed for improved fit delivers complete comfort and convenience. Stay comfortable while you’re snagging the night’s technology that doesn’t hold up to anything heavier than a sun shower. “Third, a hydrophilic water-loving coating is added to attract waterproofing and 5,000-gram breath ability. If you were logged in, simply sign moisture through the fabric to help cool the skin and body. Omni-Wick technology and GT Teflon treatment maintain breath ability while Thermadex spray, wind and sun showers. They will be targeting Yellowtail, multi directional lugs for traction and shock absorption. Both areas can be weak points even if something designed to hold some of your heftier tackle.

Other than spawning season, kokanee typically have ablueish green back that is offset by silvery sides and a slightly forked-tail. Here are a few tips for having success in catching kokanee salmon: Where to go Good-sized kokanee are abundant in Strawberry and Flaming Gorge Reservoirs. Often, the fish in these areas are 3 pounds or more. Smaller kokanee are also available in northern Utah waters like Porcupine and Causey Reservoirs. Sevier Countys Fish Lake also offers kokanee, after it was introduced there by the Division of Wildlife Resources. Techniques, lures and line to use A boat is a must for locating kokanee salmon, as they tend to suspend over deep water and structural patterns. Trolling is the popular technique for pursuing this fish species. Getting your lures down to the fish really requires downriggers, but youll see some anglers using lead-line to get deep enough to be in the target range.When using lead-core line, you simply watch your rod for an obvious fish on the line. Your pole will start bouncing and jumping and if you set the drag low enough, youll hear that familiar scream from the reel, alerting you to a strike. Youll need to experiment with increments of line (designated by color) to locate an active area below the surface. Downriggers will allow you to put your lure at an exact depth where the salmon are suspended. The clip release on the wire, attached to your weight of 6 to 8 pounds, will allow your line to detach from the release, and youll be able to fight the fish on the rod alone. Lead can deaden the fight of the fish, as you tend to be spending more energy on dragging in that heavy line. But with a downrigger, any pole you use will let you fight the fish without any restrictions or unnecessary impediments. Not uncommon is also using a vertical jigging along the rock walls and deep falloffs at Flaming Gorge. Using a variety of spoons can produce kokanees when they are fished aggressively with up/down lifting motions.

sienna spinning reel https://hatohouse.tumblr.com/post/159547050571/introducing-selecting-primary-factors-for-fly