#the day I'm writing this is Monday and I worked for nine hours today which wasn't very fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jazzthatonewriterchick · 11 months

Text

Here, Kitty, Kitty (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Aizawa x Black!Catgirl!Reader

Synopsis: In which you find yourself in the weirdest predicament after you’re scooped up and taken to a cat cafe after you decide to take the streets to fight some crime, and you’re adopted by your very anti-social and hot coworker Aizawa aka Eraserhead.

Story Warnings: Smutty smut, 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY), Swearing, Adult!Reader, Ear and Tail Stroking, Light Degradation, Spanking, Exhibitionism, Multiple Positions, Creampie, Unprotected PIV Sex, Facial, Scent Play, Collaring, Deepthroat, Cunnlingus, Begging, Edgeplay, Power Play, Rope Play/Shibari, Master Kink, Some Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Some Action

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: I'm gonna try to finish this fic before the end of June cuz I'm gonna be soooo busy with my summer job & packing for my cruise. BUT we'll see! Stay safe! -Jazz

Read on AO3 here!

Other Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-One. Twenty-Two. Twenty-Three. Twenty-Four. Twenty-Five.

*************

SEVENTEEN.

As you walk down the hallway to UA one Monday morning, you have a pep in your step and a sway in your hips that are only accomplished by good sex.

It is the Monday right after the weekend and you are 100% ready to see Aizawa today. You didn’t get a chance to see him on Sunday due to your schedules for the day not matching up, but he did text you and specifically stated that this weekend was the best he’s ever had with you. His words had you blushing and biting your lip like a schoolgirl with a crush.

And you did have a crush on Aizawa. Bad. You couldn’t get what transpired between you last weekend out of your head, let alone how it made you feel. The sex flashbacks that randomly pop up throughout your day have you squeezing your thighs together and fanning yourself when no one is watching. You desperately wanted to call Aizawa over Sunday for a bit of privacy before getting back into the swing of work, but you knew better than to do that. He needed his time to relax with his daughter, after all.

Which is why you visited him last night in your cat form, which has become a usual occurrence now. He was happy to see you as usual and let you snuggle with Eri on the couch while he whipped up dinner in the form of spicy ramen. “I want you to eat all of it because you begged me to make it,” he told Eri as she excitedly took her bowl to the couch, making you giggle on the inside.

The Sunday night went on peacefully, ending with Eri taking a bath as you watched her from the floor, bursting over how cute she looked singing Disney songs as she scrubbed behind her ears and tossed you balls from the water to play with. You had cuddled with her for a while as she slept hours later in her bed before moving to the living room and sleeping at Aizawa’s feet as he slumbered on the couch. You were beginning to feel like you belonged with the duo.

Like one happy little family.

When you walk through the first floor of UA towards the elevators, it is impossible for others to not see the confidence radiating off of you. Though you’ve always felt good in your clothes, everything on you seems to feel much better today. The pretty, rose-colored dress you chose for today’s outfit feels amazing on your skin and body. The flats on your feet seem sexy to you. The soft makeup and hairstyle you styled at six in the morning today make you feel just like a model.

To you, you are the sexiest woman to walk the earth, and you have only one person to thank for making you feel like this. When you press the button for the elevator to take you up to the sixth floor, you don’t expect to come face to face with the same man that has been invading your dreams this weekend so early in the morning. The man looks damn good. Even in his tracksuit and scarves which are his regular attire, he looks good. He stands tall with his shoulders back and a confident aura radiating off of him despite how tired he looks.

“Oh, Mr. Aizawa!” you cheerfully greet him, your heart leaping at the sight of him. “Good morning!” When his charcoal eyes land on you, they widen an inch and they only boost your confidence even more. ‘That’s it. Look at me.’

His pink tongue jets out to quick wet his pillowy-soft lips, sending your mind careening to things unholy. “Good morning, Ms. L/N,” he replies, your last name sounding like sex on his lips. Only you hear the low growl in them and it makes you hot.

Unfortunately, you can’t flirt with him as much as you want to or pounce on him as soon as the elevator doors close because one of the janitors is in there too. “Good morning, Mr. Tokoma,” you sweetly say despite your pussy weeping in disappointment.

“Good morning!” the older man replies, tipping his janitor’s hat at you. “Don’t mind the vacuum. She won’t bite ya.” He shimmies to the left of the elevator cart with his vacuum, making room for you. You thank him and enter the elevator. After finding the sixth-floor button to already be lit, you shimmy behind the janitor to take Aizawa’s side.

When the elevator doors close, the air is tense and thick with a desire that only you and Aizawa can feel. Feeling him next to you and constantly breathing in his cologne is driving you insane. Though Mr. Tokoma has no idea about your building horniness, you wished to God that he never decided to take the elevator this morning. It takes everything in you to not reach for Aizawa just to feel him, but you keep your hands firmly at your sides.

Aizawa, in contrast, doesn’t. When you suddenly feel his hand brushing against your tail, you nearly gasp. Though his touch is soft and slow, it sends every nerve in your tail into a frenzy. You have to bite your lip to keep from moaning as he slides his hand from the base to the tip, gliding his fingers across the soft fur.

He is then behind you, as quiet as a church mouse. He barely makes a sound as his fingers leave your tail and begin to lightly trail up your thigh.

Mr. Tokoma sighs, wiping the back of his neck. “Thank goodness for the AC,” he sighs, popping the collar to his janitor uniform. “Warm outside today.” Aizawa’s fingers sneak up your dress to your inner thighs, prying them open. It is just enough to brush against the outside of your panties. “Y-Yes,” you stutter out. “Very…very…hot.”

Aizawa softly chortles at you losing your shit as he begins to gently stroke you through your panties right in the elevator. If Mr. Tokoma were to turn even slightly to the right, he would be able to see this unfold for himself. Aizawa continues to nudge at your clit with his fingers, making your toes curl in your shoes as sparks of pleasure shoot through your core.

“Might wanna relax yourself, kitty,” he whispers into your ear, low enough so only you can hear. “You might catch some eyes.” And then his fingers are sneaking under your panties to press against your naked pussy lips. You gasp but mask it with a yawn as his fingers dip in and out of your pussy, slow and teasing. You could kill him for this shit but dammit, it feels good!

When the elevator dings for the third floor, you jump and instinctively clamp your thighs together, causing Aizawa’s fingers to become trapped between your inner thighs. “This is me,” the janitor says, giving you both a friendly smile, not even noticing Aizawa’s fingers playing under your dress. “Have a good day, you two!”

“You too, Mr. Tokoma,” Aizawa says, and you plaster on a smile as the elevator doors begin to close. Finally, it’s only you two left, much to Aizawa’s liking. As soon as you’re left alone, he’s ripping his hand from under your dress and pouncing onto you like a jaguar finally let out of his cage. He swiftly pushes you against the wall and traps you between himself and the wall before pressing a toe-curling kiss onto your waiting lips.

You moan appreciatively into the kiss, dropping your bag to the floor and throwing your arms around him. He presses his hips snuggly against your groin and begins to grind into you, giving you a taste of his hardening dick. With every roll of his hips, he grinds against your clit, making your body shiver and shudder in pleasure. He pulls away from you and slams a hand against the wall above you, still grinding down into your clit like he’s trying hard to make you both cum.

“S-Shouta, baby,” you gasp, your hands grasping his shoulders. “Wait…someone could come in and–oh, fuck!” He suddenly rolls his hips to the right, brushing against a spot of your clit that makes you see stars. “Just keep your voice down,” he whispers against your lips. “No one takes the elevators this early in the morning. I’ll make sure of it.”

Before you can respond, he’s leaning over to jam on the button to pause the elevator ride. The elevator suddenly stops moving, leaving the two of you to do as you please. Aizawa’s attention is all on you now. He hikes your leg up on his hip and continues to grind his dick against you, becoming harder by the second.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he growls into your neck. “You’re all I fuckin’ think about now. Can’t even focus on work because of you.” You whine in desperation as you feel the pleasure building. You can’t believe this is happening in an elevator at work. It’s so wrong, yet it feels so, so right.

Suddenly, Aizawa pulls away and stares dead into your eyes as his fingers fumble for the zipper of his tracksuit. He yanks it down, revealing the wifebeater underneath that is tight on his upper torso and briefs that are even tighter on his hard, throbbing cock. “Look at me,” he says, his voice strained with need. “This is what you do to me.”

Your eyes flicker down to his cock and you find yourself salivating for it. You’re fiending for him and his cum. You don’t care how you get it. You just want it now. Quickly, you drop to your knees in front of him and go for his briefs. “What are you doing?” he asks, mortified, quickly pushing your hands away. “No, no, Y/N, don’t.”

“Shhh,” you shush him, staring up at him with a sexy smirk. “Just keep your voice down. Nobody is takin’ the elevator this early, right?” He doesn’t stop you as you pull down the band to his briefs, freeing his hard dick for your enjoyment, but he doesn’t look particularly glad about this. “I don’t–fuck!”

His sentence is cut off with a long moan as you wrap your hand around his cock and begin slowly stroking him. You spit a generous amount of saliva onto his shaft, loving the way it shines as you stroke it over his dick. Once he is generously lubed up, you wrap your lips around him and begin to softly suck him off. “I’ve been missin’ this dick in my face,” you moan, continuing to swirl your tongue around his swollen cockhead.

You treat him like your personal lollipop, loving the taste of him. You don’t tease him for too long, worried you’re running out of time. So you begin to take him into your throat, making sure to open your throat and breath through your nostrils as you give him neck. He is loving it. Labored breaths and soft moans leave his lips as you give him throat, gagging all over his cock. “Oh, my God, Y/N,” he groans, his gorgeous eyes rolling to the ceiling. “You’re so fuckin’ good at this.”

The praise eggs you on and you go faster, desperate to get him to that point of no return. No matter how much your knees ache and your throat burns, you continue to deepthroat him, stroking him in time with your sucking and head bobbing. Saliva drips down your chin and his heavy balls, creating small pools on the elevator floor by your knees.

You can tell Aizawa is getting close when he begins to grip your hair and thrust his hips into your mouth. You welcome it, stretching your mouth out wider. “Just like that,” he huffs out, gripping your hair tighter. “Just like that, kitty, and I’mma cum. Keep goin’...so close…”

You hum in encouragement, bobbing faster and faster, the wet sounds of his thick cock stroking your throat getting louder. You want him to cum deep down your throat. You want to taste all of him. His hips begin to slam against your mouth as he chases his orgasm, his grunts and moans growing more urgent.

“Cumming!” he grunts out. “I’m cumming! Take all of it, kitty!”

And you do. Once he lets out a low moan of your name and bursts in your mouth, you take every single ounce down his throat. You don’t have a choice. His head firmly holds you there on his dick, forcing you to take every single pump of his creamy nut down your throat. But you gladly swallow what you can down despite his dick still in your mouth.

When he finally finishes, he releases you with a soft groan and composes himself while you begin to clean yourself up. You swallow the rest of his cum before licking your bottom lip where some of his nut dripped. “That was amazing,” he sighs, smiling down at you as he puts his dick, wet with your spit, back in his briefs. You giggle at him, happy with the praise and feeling just as satisfied as him despite your soaked panties.

You don’t have much time for kissing and aftercare, especially when the elevator begins to move again. You gasp, quickly rising from your kneeling position while Aizawa goes to press the button again. But it’s too late. The elevator dings, signaling the arrival of a new floor. “Oh, shit!” Aizawa gasps as the elevator doors abruptly open. You immediately jump away from him and attempt to wipe your mouth of any essence of Aizawa’s cum.

The doors open to reveal a very cheerful Mic holding a cup of coffee. “Hey, guys!” he greets as he walks into the elevator, oblivious to what just transpired between you. He shimmies between the two of you, not at all noticing Aizawa zip his tracksuit and you give your hair. “You guys try the new oat-milk latte they opened at the coffee bar?” he asks. “It’s amazing!”

You clear your throat and sneakily pull down your dress to avoid flashing your friend. “No,” you breathlessly answer. “I’ll have to try it though. I do like a good dose of milk in the morning.”

Aizawa side-eyes you, and you have to cover your mouth to keep from giggling.

***********

You’ve never seen a child be so excited over plushies the way Eri is.

You’ve been watching the girl run around the arcade for the past twenty minutes now, going from one crane game to the next. She tends to gravitate toward those that hold anime plushies and stuffed animals, beginning Aizawa to cough up more money for tickets. “Pleeease, Daddy?” she whines to him now, giving him big, puppy dog eyes. “Just one more crane game and I’ll go play something else!”

Aizawa isn’t phased. He stares down at her with a tired expression on his face. “You said that twenty minutes ago and so far we’ve played six crane games.”

“But we haven’t won anything!” the little girl whines, fiddling with her yellow sundress that match the hairbands in her pigtails. She looks so darn cute! You couldn’t help but gush over her when Aizawa picked her up for your lunch date today during break. “I promise I’ll go play Luigi’s Haunted House or one of the PacMan games next time!” she continues to bargain. “I just want the Hello Kitty! Look, she’s in a All Might outfit!” She turns to point at the Hello Kitty cosplay plushie behind the glass box of the crane game she’s got her eyes set on.

“You used up all your tickets, Eri,” Aizawa sighs, hands on his hips. “How are you gonna play if you don’t have any tickets? And we still need to eat.” Eri just continued to whine and bargain with her dad, making you feel just as exhausted as Aizawa feels even though you’re just sitting at a nearby table with your club soda.

Aizawa had told you he had a feeling that Eri would lose her mind in an arcade, even opting to just take you for ice cream or to Koa’s Purr Palace for lunch. However, Eri had insisted on the arcade and you agreed, wanting to spend some time with the both of them out of your cat form for a change. So far, it’s been fun watching Eri be the cutest little kid ever and Aizawa try to tame her chaotic self, but now you feel bad for the single dad. He’s obviously tired from watching over the UA crew all day during classes.

Deciding to give him a break, you stand from your seat and walk over to the adorable duo. “Hey, Eri,” you say, bending down at eye level to the little girl. “Why don’t we give your dad a break and I try this time?” You begin to pull out your wallet from your tote bag.

Eri’s eyes light up like Christmas trees as you do. “Really?!” she squeals excitedly, stomping her light-up sneakers around. You nod and slip her $10 for ten tickets. “Go on over to the front desk and get ten tickets for us,” you whisper to her with a wink. “I promise I’ll getcha that Hello Kitty plushie. Then we can play some PacMan.”

You’ve never seen a kid look so happy before. Eri’s smile is contagious as she throws herself at you, wrapping her little arms around you tight. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Ms. L/N!” she cheers before racing over to the front desk, her pigtails flopping about.

When you stand up, feeling good about yourself, Aizawa sneaks an arm around your waist. “You know you didn’t have to do that,” he sighs, sounding guilty. “That was your money. I wanted to treat you today.”

You twist around to face him and throw your arms around his neck. “You can treat me to pizza and sodas once I win this plushie for her,” you giggle. “Plus, I wanted to get her out of your hair. You looked like you wanted to stuff her in one of those crane machines.”

Aizawa smirks humorously at your dark humor. “She’s just excited. I don’t think I’ve ever brought her to an arcade before.” He looks incredibly guilty about this which breaks your heart. You hope he knows that he is a good dad. Everyone who knows about Eri can see it, including you. He is attentive, loving, and nurturing while also stern–all of what a great father should be. It’s enough to make you almost want to have a baby with him too…almost. Or maybe that’s just your breeding kink speaking to you.

“Thanks a lot for accommodating,” he says, pecking your chin. “I know that this isn’t the ideal lunch we had in mind for today.” He had wanted to take you out to a cafe for lunch today, one where he could count on you having privacy. However, Mirio having track practice and Shinso needing to study for a test meant Eri needed to be watched after.

“It is for me,” you coo. “I love spendin’ time with you two. I wouldn’t want to spend my break any other way.” And you mean that from the very bottom of your heart.

Aizawa’s gaze darkens, filling with something less than kind as he grips you to him. “Keep talkin’ like that and I’ll knock a screw loose in that bathroom over there,” he growls into your ear. His eyes flick across the arcade to the women’s bathroom. “You know I’d do it too.”

You nearly choke on a gasp as you feel his hand sneak to your ass. “And leave your daughter alone out here?” you gasp with laughter to hide your arousal. “What kind of father are you?” Aizawa opens his luscious mouth, no doubt to say something dirty, but Eri’s sudden appearance makes him stop and tear his hand away from your butt.

“I’ve got the tickets, Ms. L/N!” she excitedly announces. She waves the string of gold tickets around and you applaud her. “Alright then, let’s go!” You take her hand and walk over to the crane machine where the Hello Kitty plush among other cute plushies lies in wait. “I’m gonna need all of your power to help me with this, okay?” you tell Eri as you push the ticket into the slot. She vigorously nods and squeezes your hand while Aizawa chortles behind you, adoring this scene.

The crane machine comes to life, lighting up and playing music. You bend down towards the controller and grip it, your eyes set dead on the metal claw hanging above the plushies. You move the claw to the far back and slightly to the left, hovering right over the Hello Kitty plushie’s head. Your eyes flick toward its arm, noticing that it’s sticking out. Slowly and methodically, you lower the claw towards the hand and press the button to lower it down.

When the claw snags the plushie’s arm, you feel your heart leap. “You’ve almost got it, Ms. L/N!” Eri encouragingly shouts. “C’mon, you can do it! I believe in you!” She squeezes your hand for dear life, nearly crushing your fingers.

With your other hand on the controller, you carefully move the claw holding the plushie toward the opening that leads to a hole in the machine. The plushie doesn’t slip an inch during its travel. Once you’re above the opening, you press the button to open the claw and release the plushie down into the hole. “I’ve got it!” you shout, just as excited as Eri. The squeal she lets out could break windows. You retrieve the soft Hello Kitty plushie for her and she hugs it close, squeezing it to her tiny body.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she shouts, wrapping her arms around your waist. You bend down to hug her back, adoration flooding inside of you. “Alright, alright,” Aizawa chuckles, settling her down. “Now let’s get some victory lunch.”

Several minutes later, you and Aizawa sit at your table with two big slices of pizza and iced Cokes for lunch that he paid for (he refused to take your money). Eri already gobbled her hotdog down and is currently playing one of those driving games. Aizawa had to pick her up and place her in one of the cars because she was too short to get in one. She sits in a pink car now with her plushie, giggling as she steers the wheel this way and that.

“Thanks a lot for gettin’ her that plushie,” Aizawa says appreciatively. You wave him off as you chomp down on your pizza. “It’s the least I could do after earlier,” you reply. You flush at the memory; mostly because you still feel the ache in your knees from kneeling at Aizawa’s feet as you sucked him off in the elevator. “Did Mic suspect anything?” you timidly ask. “Y’know…about us?”

Aizawa flicks his eyes towards you as he sips his Cofe. “Oh, he knows already,” he replies as if you just asked if the sky is blue. “There’s no way he couldn’t know, but he won’t flap his gums if that’s what you’re worried about.” He sighs, looking like he’s dreading something. “He’ll tease me about to hell and back though,” he mutters to himself. You giggle, picturing Mic making kissy faces at Aizawa. “That was absolutely amazing, by the way,” he says, lowering his voice so only you can hear the need within his words. “I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about your pretty mouth today.”

You flush in your clothes and force yourself to clamp your thighs together. You do not need to be getting horny surrounded by children. You couldn’t stop thinking about earlier either. You’ve never done something like that in an elevator before, and the idea of getting caught turned you on more than you realized. Maybe it’s the man sitting across from you bringing the freak out of you.

You smile at Aizawa, using your foot to nudge at his leg. The urge to touch him, feel him, is burning within you. But as you do, you notice the dark circles under his eyes and the way he yawns into his fist. You’re just now noticing how drained he looks. “You look so tired,” you worriedly point out. “Is everything okay with work?”

He passively shrugs at your worry. “As okay as gradin’ papers and teachin’ classes back to back can go.” He takes your hand in his across the table, birthing butterflies in your stomach. “Did you maybe wanna come over tonight if you have time?” you ask, brushing your fingers over his knuckles. “You don’t have to stay, but maybe I could give you a nice massage to ease your stress.”

“Fuck, you’re too sweet,” he groans. “I’d love to, but I’m afraid the police chief needs me for a mission tonight.” At this, you sit up a little straighter, your ears straight up at attention. He heaves a sigh, pushing his half-eaten pizza away. “I wasn’t planning on tellin’ you this because I didn’t want you to worry, but a new villain hit the streets. He’s more underground so it’s been kept under wraps, but his quirk is worrying the police department.”

“What’s his quirk?” you wonder aloud, picking your own meal up from your paper plate.

“They’ve dubbed it ‘transparency’,” Aizawa explains as you chomp on your pizza. “He can walk through walls and any kind of solid matter, including floors and the ground. He’s been poppin’ up over the past couple of months committing petty crime, but lately, he’s been committing serious felonies as paid hits, like assaulting and killing white-collar folks in the wealthier side of Musutafu. They keep a lot of that shit hush-hush though.” He pauses, sipping his Coke.

“So why do they want you to catch him?” you curiously ask.

“Because they trust me and know I’ve had experience with underground villains.” He shrugs. “It’s a blessing and a curse. Tonight, they suspect that he’ll show up downtown at an opera show because most of the city’s white-collar folks and elite congregate down there.”

You pause, picturing him sitting among the rich folk in their seats, his eyes skimming over the audience shrouded in darkness for his target. “So they want you to go to the opera tonight?”

Aizawa nods, not looking too happy about it. “With a suit and everything to blend in. They’re also giving me an earpiece to contact the police department, but I’m used to that.” You stare at him, picturing him in a nice suit and kicking ass all alone. The thought makes you feel almost sad rather than aroused. He notices and raises a brow at you. “What?” he asks, staring blankly at you.

You begin to play with his fingers, adverting your eyes from his. “So you’re going alone?” you ask worriedly. “No one is going with you?”

“No, but I’m fine, kitty,” he assures you. “You don’t have to worry about someone like me.” You still stare down at his hands, noticing the brush of healed cuts and bruises on his knuckles. “What’s with the face?” he asks, a laugh in his tone. You pull away from his hands to take a drink and begin to silently fumble with your straw, trying to think of a good way to ask him to let you come with him tonight as backup.

He seems to already know what you’re thinking though. “Uh-uh,” he firmly says. “No. You better not be thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’, Y/N.” You look up at him, the brat in you taking the driver’s seat. “And what is that, Shouta?” you innocently ask.

His expression is fixed and hard, not up for the BS from you. “You’re not comin’ with me to the opera. Not a chance in hell. This is a me job.” You roll your eyes at his pride. “C’mon, don’t go Bruce Wayne on me again,” you whine in protest. “I’ve shown you how good of a fighter I am time and time again, Shouta. I’m great backup!”

He still looks resistant, his eyebrows knitted together in a permanent scowl. “That, you are, but this is some serious shit, Y/N. Underground villains are way more sneakier which makes them extremely dangerous and high-risk.” You cut your eyes at him, feeling irked by his attempt to sway your decision. “You think I can’t handle it?” you scoff, irked by the way he’s making you feel. “You think I’ll distract you?”

The stare Aizawa fixes you with curbs your attitude somewhat, but you can’t help but feel like a little kid he’s lecturing. You don’t need that shit. You’re a grown-ass woman! “You know I don’t think that,” he firmly says, “but you’re not actually a seasoned or official hero either.”

As right as he is about that (which you hate), you’re also the most stubborn bitch in the world. You won’t go down with a fight. So you push your food away and fold your hands under your chin, prepared for an argument. “Shouta, I literally helped you take down two villains with guns tryin’ to stick up an art exhibit with no problem. I think I can handle this.” You give him a reassuring smile that doesn’t thaw the ice encased in his eyes.

“I’m not gonna get in your way or distract you from your mission, but you’ll need another set of eyes and hands–and, honey, I’ve got two of the best ones.” You flex your hand where your claws extend from your nails. You don’t even mention your heightened senses, which you’re sure he knows about and has taken into consideration. “Plus, this would be the perfect time for me to learn how to be more of an effective hero. You could teach me all about how to conduct myself on a mission!”

Your words register across Aizawa’s handsome face, but he still looks hesitant. You know it’s for your protection more than anything. You take his hands in yours once more and press a kiss to them. “You always want to protect other people,” you softly say, “but, Sho, who’s gonna protect you?” He doesn’t respond. He simply stares at your hands in his, thinking to himself.

“Just for tonight, Sho,” you promise. “That’s all I ask.” Finally, his eyes meet yours and you can see his defeat. He sighs, running a hand down his face. “God, damn you for bein’ so cute,” he groans exhaustedly. “Alright, fine, but you’d better know what you’re in for.”

You grin excitedly to yourself, feeling accomplished. You couldn’t have asked for a better end to your lunch date.

*************

That night, after a pep talk in the mirror and some mental preparation for tonight, you leave your dorm to go see Aizawa.

You decide not to sneak out your window in your cat form, instead simply walking out of the faculty dorms with a duffle bag full of tonight’s attire. If anyone asks, you’re just going to Planet Fitness because they have more equipment. Just a little while lie to accommodate why you’re sneaking out so late at night in nothing but Nike gear and sneakers.

You don’t walk out the doors immediately. You take some time to assess your environment and tap into your senses. You don’t hear or sense anyone coming, even after ten minutes of waiting. With labored breath, you quickly make your way out of the lobby and outside to walk across campus, your heart pounding against your chest.

You’re just about to cross the threshold to the street when you’re spotted. “Stop right there!” a voice shouts from behind you. You jump, causing your tail to poof up and your ears to shoot back as you’re startled. When you turn around, prepared to scratch the stranger in the first if necessary, you find that it isn’t a stranger at all. It’s Nemuri in her silk nightgown and slippers with Mic right behind her. “Nemuri?” you question, squinting at her in confusion. “What are you doing out here so late at night?

Nemuri puts her hands on her slim hips, glaring at you like an angry mom. “You know, that line is really meant for you, but I already know what you’re doing. Don’t you think you’re going too far with this, Y/N?”

You grip the strap to your gym back to you, biting your lip. ‘Just ask natural,’ you think. ‘Don’t tell them shit.’

“What do you mean?” you dumbly ask. Nemuri rolls her eyes, obviously not here for your innocent act, but Mic puts a hand on her arm to stop her from telling you off. He steps forward, taking his glasses off to give you a closer look at his concern. “We’ve been meaning to talk to you, Y/N,” he carefully says. “Nemuri and I both agree that this nightly activity has run its course.”

Understanding his words, you are filled with sudden, hot anger. “You’ve been talking about me behind my back?” you hiss, irate. Mic blushes at your rage, caught like a deer in headlights.

“Y/N, we’re just worried!” Nemuri exclaims, exasperated. “Look at you! You’re covered in bruises, we barely see you anymore, you’re taking off from work more and more, and not to mention you’re seeing Aizawa now.” You flush with embarrassment and shame under the moonlight, feeling like its silvery rays serve as a spotlight for you. “You still haven’t told him yet, have you?” Nemuri questions. “About this cat thing?”

The sudden urge to cry bursts behind your sinuses. You don’t need this right now. You don’t need to be here getting lectured and criticized like a child. “Look, I’m trying, okay?” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose to avoid crying. “But it’s kind of hard to tell the man you’ve been pinning after, who also likes you back, that you’ve been sneaking into his dorm pretending to be the cat he adopted for his adorable daughter so she’d be less lonely.”

Nemuri and Mic silently share a look of confusion. “Wait…what?” Nemuri asks, utterly confused. “We’re talking about you being Night Claw. What are you talking about?”

Your eyes widen as the realization that you epicly fucked up hits you like an Amtrack train. “Shit,” you hiss, facepalming yourself.

Nemuri stares at you like she barely knows you anymore. “Have you been using your cat form to visit Aizawa ever since the night he adopted you?” she asks, shocked. “Does Aizawa know you’re Night Claw already?” Mic looks between you both, clueless. “Wait, what happened?” he asks, lost. He stares at you, dumbfounded. “You can turn into a cat?!” he shockingly exclaims, gaping at you.

You keep quiet, shaking slightly like a leaf in the winter because you’ve been caught in your lie. Nemuri fixes you with a hard, laser-like stare that peels back the mental armor you’ve been shielding yourself with for months. “Y/N, you’d better start talking now.”

You growl to yourself, your shame winning over your pride. “Okay, okay!” you defeatedly shout. “Yes, he knows that I’m Night Claw and he was fine with it. And yes, I’m able to transform into a cat and I’ve been using it to my advantage when I’m out in the streets. One night, I got hurt and was picked up by this old lady who took me to her cat cafe.”

“The Purr Palace?” Mic asks, squinting quizzically at you. “That’s Eri’s favorite place.” You slowly nod, staring down at your Nike kicks. “One day, Aizawa came in with Eri and he adopted me. I swear, it was only supposed to be one time and I was gonna tell Aizawa the truth, but…” You trail off as teas begin to well in your eyes. God, you’re so fucking stupid.

“But what?” Nemuri pushes.

You huff, roughly wiping at your eyes. “Things got complicated,” you confess. “I saw how happy I was making them and felt obligated to continue to role-play as their pet. Then Aizawa finally started talking to me and I knew if I told him the truth about the cat thing, he’d never talk to me again.”

Nemuri curtly laughs at your confession which isn’t at all the reaction you thought she would have. “So this is all about you, right?” she scoffs, looking almost disgusted by you. “You’re keeping this from Aizawa because he wanna keep him.”

“No!” you shout, then weakly backtrack. “I-I mean, yes, but this is about his happiness more than anything. I just want to keep him and Eri happy!”

“By lying to them?” Nemuri demands. “I’ll admit, initially keeping the Night Claw thing a secret was sexy and mysterious until I saw how it was affecting you. But now I see that this wasn’t the case at all.” She crosses her arms over her ample bosom, fixing you with a disappointed stare that makes you grow even hotter with shame. “It’s bad enough you’re lying to Aizawa about the cat thing, but lying to Eri too? She’s just a child, Y/N! A very lonely and vulnerable one at that!”

Anger starts to mix within the shame you feel, making one very bad cocktail. You glare daggers at Nemuri, pissed that she’s lecturing you over something you already know is pretty fucked up. “Okay, ladies,” Mic weakly says, moving to step between you. “Why don’t we just–”

“Don’t you think I know that?” you bellow angrily at your friend. “That’s why I’m doing this. Aizawa adopted me so I could keep Eri company. It’s my job now, Nemuri!”

“No, it’s not!” she angrily argues. “Your job is to tell Aizawa the truth. And if it’s not you, then it will be me.”

You gape at her, trying to decide if she’s deadass serious or not. “You wouldn’t,” you growl. But her intense stare says everything you need to know. She means this shit with her whole chest. “Try me,” she sternly replies.

The white-hot anger takes over your body, causing you to not see Nemuri as a friend but as an enemy. And when it comes to enemies, cats only do one thing to keep them at bay: they hiss. And so when the urge to hiss comes, you let it come and burst out of you, shocking Nemuri and Mic as soon as the harsh sound comes out of your mouth. Nemuri gapes at you, astounded. “You…did you just…you just hissed at me!” she gasps, shocked at your behavior.

You close your mouth and advert your eyes from hers, refusing to see the disappointment in them. “You know what?” she scoffs. “Fine. Go ahead and lie to yourself all you want, but when Aizawa finally discovers the truth and dumps you on your ass, don’t come crying to me about it later.” And with those harsh words hanging in the air, she turns around and swiftly walks back towards the dorms, her glossy curls bouncing behind her.

“Nemuri!” Mic calls after her to no avail. She doesn’t turn around. She’s completely done with you and it makes you feel incredibly guilty.

Mic turns around to face you and sighs. “I hope you make the right choice, Y/N,” he softly says, a soft sadness in his eyes that makes you feel even more guilty. Then, he too leaves you alone standing in the grass to softly cry.

#shouta aizawa #shoutaaa #smutty smut #my fic shit #my works #here kitty kitty #bnha smut #black coded reader #black fanfic writer #black writers #aizawa x black!reader #shouta aizawa x black!reader

79 notes · View notes

lifewithoutmeds · 1 month

Text

March 16, 2024

jinxed again. note: never start thinking that my life might be turning around becuase nine times out of ten, something's waiting to smack me back on my ass.

Recap: Monday, March 4: Watched Thor, worked from home. Tuesday, March 5: walked to chase in the morning to withdraw some money, worked from home, walked to trader joe's to use the last of my gift card and get things like eggs and bananas. Wednesday, March 6: in office day. Thursday, March 7: nothing calendared. probably just worked from home. helena from work kind of spoke harshly from me and it was all i could do not cry until the moment we hung up. Friday, March 8: i thought this was my massage/lunch day with lana, but i guess it was actually for two weeks from today? or it was pushed out? probably i mis-calendared it. but i did check on grace y since she had an appointment regarding some health issues. Saturday, March 9: i though i had lana's birthday dinner thing but that was miscalendared as well so instead went on a little nature walk/hike near jpl with my mom and had lunch at fish king afterward. Sunday, March 10: lana's birthday, so i texted a bit. i think i went to church. Monday, March 11: i think i started to feel a little sad. either the day prior or today i went to my mom's for lunch/dinner and just cried. i could feel myself being irrationally sad and angry and realized it was PMS so tried not to take it too personally. in part of my sadness i reached out to amir about happy hour on tuesday but he didn't really get back to me or share in my enthusiasm and just "liked" my comment and i felt bad and stupid and angry and alone. Tuesday, March 12: i felt the annoyance and anger and irritability full force. when amir texted back to say he'd be at work and i should come down i was too upset and said too bad, the moment had passed. i could just feel my emotions raging. something else had happened with lorena i think monday-tuesday, so i was peeved at her as well, just peeved at everyone and everything. in my noon walk i thought of jadai, as i often do, and i thought of how she would reach out to me, and how i should actually be the last person in the world she should reach out to. with all of her friends and family, her fiance, and now without cooper, so much extra money, that she really shouldn't have come to me for covid tests, to borrow my cooler (and never give back my yeti ice), to ask to borrow my bowflex weights. how she would be the last person in the world i'd ask, how i'd rather buy it myself or just go without, but i wouldn't reach out and drive the distance.

soon after i got home, pissy with these thoughts, jadai, almost telepathically it seemed, reached out, for the first time since she learned about xio, so about four months: "idk your feelings on it, but i feel like it's been way too long!!! i was trying not to reach out for a while, so just wanted to see if it's ok that i do. i'm always hoping you're doing more than well, and all the good things." 1:34 p.m.

this sent me into a true meltdown, full-on sobbing, and anger. it seemed like she was trying to touch base with an old pal she had fallen out of touch with, a summercamp friend, or just someone whose birthday it was and she had temporarily forgotten about them and was like now, omg how are ya? and that made me so sad and mad. she had been on the forefront of my mind for so long, been the center of so much suffering, and for her to just pop up so nonchalantly, so flippantly, and just say hey as if the lack of communication was inadvertent on my part, which of course it wasn't. i had decided not to message her back after her birthday, and was even more assured of it after xio's passing. i texted several people and came to the conclusion, some hours later, to write back "i'd prefer we not communicate," to which she responded: "ah ok. like not communicate at all, ever?" which threw me into another fit of distraughtness because it was so hard to formulate that first message, and i thought it was it, but to have to answer again with some sort of parameters? it's like the suffering just would not cease. after additional hours of tumult, i decided not to respond, because in a sense, i already had, and i didn't know if it was going to be temporary or last until the day i died, but i could not speak as to when i might be able and just didn't want to keep the dialogue going.

the next day was wednesday, and i could feel the emotions just getting worse. i worked, and at some point joyce whispered me into her office and i jokingly whispered if it was a secret, and we jokingly whispered the issue about one of my forms being wrong, and right before i left, i continued the joke for just a bit longer and said, "is there anything else?" to which she responded that she had started a lunch walking group that would be 40 minutes total, 20 minutes out and 20 minutes back, and welcomed me to join. i asked if i'd have enough time for lunch and she said, "just take a longer lunch!" to which i was like oh heck yhea! and at noon she, two others, and i started walking to, through, and around little tokyo, mostly led by her, as i didn't know what path to go to and we chatted a bit, and i pointed out some of my favorite restaurants, etc. as we re-approached the office, it was noted that it had been only 35 minutes and we still had another 5 minutes to walk, so joyce recommended we take one more round around the block, down the street of the building jadai works in, and .... of all the gin joints in the world, as we walked down, me first, i saw her and a friend walking her up, her hair perfectly coiffed, her sunglasses on, smiling, talking, wearing a perfect baby blue suit with a white flowy top, looking loose on her languid figure and instantly we recognized each other, and i saw her pause in her step, and i nodded and waved, said a small "hi", and kept walking, and she smiled and waved and said hi but had that momentary stop as if to talk to me but must've kept walking when i did. almost as soon as she passed, the tears welled up, and at some point i also realized that it was 3/13, our anniversary, that 5 years ago to the day we had met at tony's and decided that that was it, and now here we were, two strangers walking down the sidewalk, almost brushing shoulders, and all i could feel was so much pain. the tears started almost immediately and i was in the office weeping, tears trickling down, and at some point, went to the bathroom to sob in the handicapped stall. how could the universe be so cruel. what were the chances of all of this happening, on that day of all days in the year.

she messaged me again: "hey such crazy timing seeing you just now! Sorry i would've stopped, but didn't know if i should cuz of your text. would you be down to meet up outside real quick or grab a coffee?"

to which i didn't reply but just cried and cried. i had last corresponded that we shouldn't communicate, and here she was, thinking we should, asking me to, in person, no less.

the cruelty was beginning to just be unimaginable and i seriously considered asking to go home for the day because i just felt so terrible and could not stop crying and i had been so proud of myself for not yet openly crying at work and yet here i was.

that was wednesday and today is saturday. i slept for 13 hours yesterday and have been crying on and off since then. it feels like regression. it feels like the first few months of her leaving. it feels so raw and new all over again, and everything has become so triggering. i'm realizing that when i take my walks, i rarely turn left at kenneth anymore and have been turning right, because left was how i walked with jadai. i still get her mail sometimes, but mostly junk mail. the mail man asked about her last week, asking if all jadai mail should be returned to sender and i said it should. whenever i walk by her building or even down that street, i wonder if she's in one of the cars, or in her office and can see me, and how stupid and fat and ugly and lonely i look, and whether she sees me with a mix of pity and regret. i think of her constantly. she has become a recurring dream, and in the last one, even there, i knew we were not together. i am not at rest, even in my sleep.

i need to go as today is lana's birthday dinner and i need to try and not cry for the first time this week. i've been trying to stay away from alcohol because it might induce more crying and then more subsequent regrettable behavior, but i don't know about tonight. i don't know how much longer this can continue. i thought i was out of the storm, but then the storm came back from me. how cruel.

0 notes

fullbushfemme · 3 years

Text

Meeting the Mayans

word count: 1,804

summary: You thought you were prepared for anything. Growing up with four brothers, you had been bitten, beaten, thrown out of trees, concussed, stabbed, practically any violent act you could possibly think of, you had endured. For a kindergarten teacher, you were tough. You had the scars to prove it. That was, of course, until the day you met the Mayans.

unnamed mayan x fem!reader

warnings: brief mentions of blood, hostage situation, and a shooting.

author's note: I've had this idea in my head for ages now and I'm tempted to make it a series. The only issue is that I can't decide which Mayan I want to star (since they aren't named in this fic). I'm tempted to use this as a jumping off point for multiple fics, writing different stories from this initial incident involving different Mayans, but I'd love to hear any thoughts y'all might have :)

-I also haven't written anything outside of academic works in years so go easy on me <3

Santo Padre Septembers were always your favorite. It was sticky and hot, enough to make anyone want to jump into a pool fully clothed, but school was back in session, which meant you got to meet a new hoard of bright-eyed, eager five year olds. You had spent the last month preparing your classroom for their arrival. Nine am to one pm every day for four weeks was dedicated to decorating your classroom, making name cards, making sure every student had all the supplies they needed. Inside every desk you placed glue and markers and pencils and workbooks and scissors...everything a little kid would need to express themselves. And all of it out of your own pocket. You took it upon yourself to spoil these kids rotten.

Two weeks into class, you already knew everyone’s names, their favorite color, their pets, and whether or not they were allowed to watch TV after six o’clock. You knew who was friends with who, who couldn’t eat peanut butter, and who was most popular. This year’s class was going to be great, you just knew it.

It was a humid Friday afternoon. The room smelled like Elmer’s glue and pencil shavings, with stray scraps of construction paper strewn about the floor after the kids decided this week’s art project was going to be making dinosaurs out of construction paper and glitter. You were staying after class to clean up and vacuum, and to take the class rabbit home with you since no one had signed up to care for him this week, when you heard a knock at your door.

You looked over to the open door, squinting into the sun, trying to make out who it was. But no one was standing in the doorway. “Forget something?” you called out, thinking that a student must’ve left a lunch box or notebook and was feeling shy.

“Not exactly,” a deep voice responded, sending a twinge of fear through your body. You knew that voice. “I was hoping my baby sister could help me with something.”

A lump had formed in your throat that you tried to swallow, to no avail. “What are you doing here?” you choked out, standing from where you were picking up paper scraps.

“I need you to help me hide. Quickly.” Your older brother stepped into the classroom, gun in hand, pupils wider than you had ever seen them. He must’ve been high, you thought, panicked. What had he gotten into now? All four of your brothers were known to be trouble-makers to varying degrees. A few had been to prison for petty crimes, but the brother that stood before you had gotten wrapped up in drug trafficking years ago. He scared you the most. They had all promised your parents that they would keep their lives separate from yours, that they would never put you in harm's way. But it didn’t last. It felt like every other week you had a bruised or beaten brother on your doorstep, begging for help or a place to stay. And today, it was to ask you to hide them.

Your eyes flitted to the large windows overlooking the grassy courtyard where a few children sat waiting for their parents to pick them up. Hide. Hide from what? Who was coming after him? Would they hurt the kids?

“N-no,” you stammered, taking a step backwards. You couldn’t risk putting any kids still on campus in danger. “You can’t hide here. You have to go. You have to go right now.” You could feel a pit in your stomach begin to form as your brother took slow, long strides toward you.

“No?” he spat, completely dumbfounded by your refusal to help him. You had never turned him down before. He was family. You never said no to family.

You swallowed hard before repeating yourself. “No,” you responded, with more conviction this time, although you knew he could see right through you.

You took another step back, but ran up against your desk. Your phone was in the top drawer. Could you reach it fast enough? If you even could, who would you call? The police? That was a good way to get murdered and leave a teacher-shaped stain on the floor for the kids to come back to on Monday. Gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turned white, your brother broke the ominous silence before you could.

“I’m not asking you again, hun,” he spat, now so close you could smell him.

“I can’t,” you whispered, your eyes welling up. “The kids…”

He furrowed his brow for a moment, shocked at the idea that you could actually turn your own flesh and blood away. You had always helped him, no matter how many times your parents told you not to, no matter how many times your life was put in danger. He couldn’t grasp the idea that you would put your foot down when it came to endangering other people, when it came to endangering your kids.

“They’ll kill you, you know,” he seethed, looking back over his shoulder towards the open door. There was a low rumbling growing louder and louder, but that wasn’t to whom he was referring. He was talking about your other brothers. “I told them I’d go to my baby sister, that she’d help me. She always helps me. Why would she flip on me now? Why wouldn’t she help family?” His grip tightened around his handgun as he leaned in to threaten you. “If anything happens to me, they’ll know to come to you first. They’ll know you couldn’t protect your own family.” His breath was hot against your neck. “Now,” he sighed, “Help me hide. And tell them you haven’t seen me in months.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” a man shouted from outside, causing your brother to grab hold of your arm. Those tears you had been holding back finally fell down your cheeks as your brother pulled you in front of him, placing you between the stranger and your brother. You could barely make out any details of the man from outside because of the blinding sun, but you could tell he had a gun. And that gun was much bigger than your brother’s. As the man moved into your classroom, at least five more men appeared and followed him in, all with guns pointed at your brother.

At this point, you were frozen. The lives your parents had so desperately tried to keep apart were crashing together, their worst nightmare coming true. The two of you were stuck, with only one way out. And he knew it. He gripped your arm tighter, making sure your body could be used as an effective human shield. The barrel of his gun was shoved into your ribcage, his face buried into the back of your hair.

“See what you’ve done?” he seethed. You looked at all of the men placed around the room. Leather-clad men on top of a backdrop of crudely painted rainbows and dogs. You hadn’t brought these men here. You didn’t anger a group of gun-toting men. And yet somehow, this was your fault.

“We’re only here for you, kid,” a low, rough voice called out, a different one than before.

But he wouldn’t let them take only him. He was bringing you down with him. He was willing to sacrifice his own family to keep from going down alone.

The seconds ticking by felt like hours. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, desperately trying to break free. But you could do nothing besides stand still. All you could do is hope and pray that these men that had followed your brother here had enough decency not to kill a kindergarten teacher caught in the crossfire. But your brother refused to give them that opportunity.

“If I go,” he yelled, raising his gun to your temple, “she goes too.”

These words would haunt your every thought for the rest of your life. But in that moment, all you could think about was the weapon pressed against your skin. Your brother wasn’t just willing to bring you down with him, he was willing to kill you himself. And the thought of it made you sick. It made you want to curl up into a ball and scream on the top of your lungs. You opened your mouth to cry out, but your brother hit you across the head with the butt of his gun before you could.

The men opposing your brother yelled, harsh words were exchanged, but all you could hear was a ringing in your ears. Tensions rose. Guns were raised. Blood dripped down your face and mixed with your tears. Your senses were betraying you, one by one, blending every sensation into one incomprehensible nightmare.

And then, a single gunshot rang out, making you acutely aware of the severity of the situation once more.

A scream escaped your chest as you fell to your knees, free from your brother’s death grip. You brought your hands up to your ears and squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it would all be over.

But it wasn’t over. It wouldn’t end. No matter how hard you prayed, you were still on the floor of your kindergarten classroom. Your brother was still prepared to kill you if he felt threatened. Someone was shot...someone was shot but you couldn’t bear to look. You wanted to look, you had to look, to see if it was your brother that was shot. But before you could muster the courage to open your eyes, two arms wrapped around you and pulled you into an embrace. It couldn’t have been your brother, it was much too gentle. But if it wasn’t him, then who?

It took a moment to open your eyes, but when you did, you looked up to see who was holding you. His face was kind, with dark brown eyes filled with worry as he looked down at you. He opened his mouth to say something to you, and he probably did, but you couldn’t hear him over the pounding in your head. He was a stranger to you, and yet he clung to you to keep you from seeing the mess behind you. Like he truly cared for your wellbeing. He pulled you in closer to him, placing his chin on top of your head the way your father did when you were young. It felt...safe. And all you wanted to do was collapse into him and allow yourself to feel safe. You let your head fall into his chest. You let your head fall into this stranger’s chest. And just as you did, two white patches on his left breast caught your eye. Two patches that read: Mayans, Santo Padre.

#mayans mc #bishop losa #michal ariza #riz ariza #taza #taza romero #angel reyes #ez reyes #mayans mc fanfic

55 notes · View notes

inkedstarlight · 3 years

Text

Bittersweet: Chapter Nine

Summary: Cassian and Nesta finally meet. Officially, this time. Let the romance commence. Notes: Read it here on AO3! Warnings: very brief/non-explicit mention of sexual assault Bittersweet Masterlist

“Earth to Nesta?”

Nesta snapped from her trance to see Emerie waving a hand in front of her face.

“You’ve been cleaning the same spot for a good ten minutes,” Emerie gestured to where Nesta was scrubbing the counter with a towel. It was squeaky clean.

Nesta let go of the towel and cleared her throat. “My bad.”

Emerie pulled out the chair on the other side of the counter and sat down. It was eleven in the evening on a Monday, and they had just closed. The only other person in Rita’s was Lucien, and he was doing dishes in the back.

“You’ve been acting weird for the past two weeks,” Emerie stated blatantly. Her stare was unwavering. “And you’ve lost at least ten pounds.”

The incidence with Tomas happened two weeks ago. Nesta was doing a pretty good job of moving on with her life all things considered. She felt like shit, but she hadn’t missed a single shift at work. That had to count for something.

But she should’ve known Emerie would notice. She was like a fucking hawk, that girl. She saw everything.

When Nesta didn’t say anything, Emerie shrugged and got up from the stool. “At least try a little harder,” she said, referring to the coworkers’ challenge to get the most tips. She shot Nesta a sad look. “Thesan is beating you. Thesan.”

Nesta mustered a laugh. Thesan wasn’t great with customers, that was common knowledge. Neither Emerie nor Nesta were people persons, but they knew how to turn it on for customers. Thesan, on the other hand, didn’t make much of an effort. It wasn’t that he was intentionally rude, the guy was just quiet in nature. In fact, he was quite a sweetheart.

Which was why it was quite entertaining to watch Thesan and Helion interact. Where Thesan was an introvert, Helion was loud as hell. Not to mention it was clear that Thesan was crushing on him. But unfortunately, Helion flirted with every living, breathing thing and was thus completely oblivious. During Nesta’s first week at Rita’s, Emerie had spilled all the tea about their coworkers. Thesan was head over heels in love with Helion, Helion had never been in a monogamous relationship, and Viviane… well, Viviane had her own little love story. A complicated one at that.

His name was Kallias. They grew up together, from scheming little kids to rebellious teenagers to young adults. Best friends since they could remember.

Because Emerie grew up in the same small town as them, she knew everything. They all went to school together. She knew that Kallias had been in love with Viviane since freshman year of high school. She knew that Viviane felt the same way, but she would never admit it thanks to the hell she was put through during her childhood. Nesta didn’t know the specifics, and she never asked.

It also didn’t help that Viviane was in a relationship with someone else. They’d been together for almost two years. Emerie thought Viviane deserved better, that he wasn’t a very good person.

Anyway, Kallias visited Rita’s nearly every weekend after his shift at the fire station to grab a drink and more importantly, see Viviane.

Nesta thought it was ridiculous. She’d told Emerie as much when she’d brought Nesta up to date on their coworkers’ lives. Why wouldn’t they just admit they loved each other and get on with it already? It was pretty fucking simple; they were just making it complicated for themselves. Emerie wholeheartedly agreed and the pair then went on an hour long rant on the idiocy of romantic relationships.

And if she was being honest, Nesta didn’t care much about these people. Sure, they were respectable but they were a temporary fixture in her life. Once she secured a job in her career field, she was going to leave them all behind.

“We should get a drink sometime. Outside of work,” Emerie clarified with a look of disgust. “I’m sick of it here.”

Nesta knew that was a lie based on the relationship Emerie had with Rita and her wife. But she didn’t say that.

“Maybe,” Nesta responded distractedly, desperate to think of an excuse. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Emerie; no, Nesta liked her coworker. She just couldn’t muster the energy to go out with friends or socialize like that. “I’m pretty busy right now though.”

Emerie narrowed her eyes and scrutinized her.

“Stop analyzing me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Emerie sighed and receded. She hesitated before saying quietly, “Is… is this the part when I ask if you’re okay and we get all deep and explore a new level of our friendship?”

Nesta slowly met her friend’s gaze. They stared at one another for several moments.

Then, they burst out laughing.

-------------------------

The next morning, Nesta was brewing her third cup of coffee when Elain padded into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Elain yawned as a greeting. She wore bunny slippers and an oversized hoodie. Elain only had one evening class on Tuesdays, so today was her only day - save for the weekend - to sleep in.

“Hey, kiddo.”

“How long have you been up?”

Nesta glanced at the clock. It was nine-thirty. She’d woken up at six after a sleepless night of tossing and turning.

But she simply shrugged instead. “Not long.”

Nesta poured the coffee into her mug, sitting back down at the counter. She watched as Elain bustled around the kitchen, scrambling eggs and slicing fruit. The morning light spilled through the dusty kitchen sink window, bars of sunshine reflecting off the tiled floors. Iroh basked in the sunspots, his black fur glistening as his chartreuse eyes blinked closed.

Elain and Nesta hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple weeks. It was Nesta’s doing, of course. She was actively avoiding her sister and everyone else. After Elain had tried to talk to Nesta after the whole thing with Tomas, she stopped asking Nesta if she was okay. Nesta assumed that Elain realized she wasn’t going to get an answer, that there wasn't really a point in trying.

But Gods, Nesta fucking missed her. And even though she wanted nothing more than to retreat to her bedroom as she sat there in the kitchen, she didn’t move from the chair.

You need them as much as they need you, her father’s voice echoed in her head.

Guilt stabbed at her chest.

“How’re classes going?” Nesta asked quietly. Elain looked at her over her shoulder with a surprised yet pleasant smile.

“Great! I’m so grateful to be at such a great college, but…” Elain bit her lip, hesitating. “My bio lab is going to be the death of me."

“You know you’re allowed to complain, right?”

Elain just gave her a smile. “Yeah, I know. It's just, considering where I was a year ago, I couldn't be happier to finally be enrolled in such a prestigious program. Even if that means the classes are brutal."

I wish I was like you. I take everything for granted.

“And have you made any friends?”

Elain had started school at Pryth U months ago and yet Nesta had no idea if she even had friends yet.

Selfish bitch.

A fond smile broke out on Elain’s face. “Yes, I have this really great group of friends: Lucien, Ressina, and Varian. It's just the four of us, but we've gotten really close.”

Nesta asked Elain more questions before excusing herself back to her room, claiming she was going to try to write today, to which Elain squealed and wished her luck.

Nesta hadn't written since their dad died. Prior to his death, she would write nearly every day. She'd been working on a novel for years. The plot had came to her in middle school, and it just grew from there. She'd never told anyone about it. Everyone knows how fucking hard it is to get your writing published, much less get high ratings. Nesta wasn't even sure if she was going to finish it. This was the longest she'd gone without writing or editing it. And she had a feeling that she wouldn't ever go back to it.

Dread filled her stomach as she thought of that prospect. What the fuck was she doing with her life?

Nesta’s phone buzzed, and she fished it out of her back pocket.

Incoming call from Feyre Archeron.

It kept buzzing, Nesta merely stared at her sister's name on her screen. She couldn't think of a single reason why Feyre would be calling. But she pressed "Accept" before it could go to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

Silence.

“Uh, what’s up?” Nesta asked. She collapsed onto her unmade bed. Iroh scampered past the door and jumped on the bed with her. He didn't waste a minute curling himself around her head.

"I was calling to see… maybe, I don’t know… uh, would you want to come to dinner tonight?”

I was not expecting that. And Nesta was about 95% sure this was Elain’s doing.

“Why?”

“I want you there," Feyre told her as if it were obvious.

“Why?” Nesta asked again. She hadn't seen Feyre since Thanksgiving despite her sister living just on the outskirts of the city.

That had been weeks ago.

“It's complicated," Feyre responded quietly. She seemed to pause before finding the words. "I've been so worried about Cassian, we all have. He'd never been deployed for that long - five months. It was scary. I guess I took that out on you. I don't know why..."

She drifted off. Nesta held her breath.

"I'm sure Elain told you, but he's home now. I've been more myself since he returned, and I want you to come to dinner. I… miss you.”

She rubbed her temple. “I don’t know, Feyre.”

I don't know if I can pretend to be okay for an entire night. I don't know if you even fucking want me there or if you just feel obligated. I don't know if I can be in the same room as your douchebag boyfriend. I don't know if I can be surrounded by your friends, most of whom seem to dislike me. I don't know if I can behave like a normal fucking person.

I don't know.

“Please?” The plea was soft, quiet. It was like she was almost desperate. But for what?

Nesta looked out the window where a blue jay - their dad's favorite bird - was perched on a bare tree branch. The leaves had long ago fallen, leaving the world naked and vulnerable. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

-------------------------

Feyre embraced her with an awkward hug when Nesta and Elain walked into the house. Nesta patted her on the back lightly, uncomfortable with the physical touch. Luckily, no one else seemed incline to embrace her. Rhys actually seemed to make sure he was as far away as possible.

Elain, on the other hand, gave everyone a hug. Mor gave a laugh as she squeezed Elain back, Aurra watching them with a smile. Interestingly enough, when Elain greeted Azriel with a hug, his tanned cheeks glowed red. It was almost imperceptible, but Nesta noticed.

Feyre took a step back to assess her. Nesta could see the judgement in her sister's eyes as she took in Nesta's noticeably thinner body. Luckily, however, she wasn't given the chance to comment on it when Elain piped up, "Where's Cassian? Nesta still hasn't met him yet."

"He's running a bit late," Rhys answered, glancing down at his phone. "Should be here in about ten minutes."

Everyone began to make their way into the dining room and Nesta followed. However, she was quickly tugged to the side when Amren swooped in out of nowhere and basically dragged Nesta into the privacy of the hallway. She stopped, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at Nesta.

“Where have you been?” Amren demanded.

"What do you mean?" Nesta asked, playing dumb.

She hadn't spoken to Amren in a long time, even though they had each others' numbers. Even though Amren had repeatedly texted her, asking to get coffee or go for a walk or something else of the sorts. All of which went unanswered.

Amren rolled her eyes, and Nesta was convinced they went to the back of her head for a good minute. "Don't play dumb with me, Nesta."

“I don’t know, working?"

"Is that a question?" Amren rose a deadly brow.

Nesta huffed and mirrored Amren's angry stance. "Why are you interrogating me?"

“Because you've been radio silent for weeks. I had to ask Elain if you were still fucking alive," Amren explained. Then, she leaned in close like she didn't want anyone to hear. "I was worried about you, you bitch."

Nesta let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I've been busy. I do want to hang out, it's just that..." she trailed off.

"What? It's just that what?"

Nesta stared at the floor, unable to form words.

"Nesta, are you okay?" Amren asked, her voice softer.

Just tell her. Fucking tell her.

I was almost raped.

Just the thought was enough to make Nesta want to puke. She couldn't, it was too much and she wouldn't even be able to fucking say it and it's her fault, all her fault.

She breathed in through her nose and looked back up at Amren. She shot her the most fake smile she'd ever given. "I'm good. Seriously, I just got busy. It won't happen again."

Nesta saw the skepticism in Amren's eyes. But she conceded with a small sigh. "Well, don't do it again, okay? I seriously thought you were fucking murdered or some shit."

Nesta just nodded. Amren looked at her once more before gesturing with her chin back to the dining room. Nesta followed her.

When they rounded the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Because sitting next to Feyre was the man who had tried to break into her apartment.

“Nesta!" Feyre exclaimed, calling her over from where she sat. "This is Cassian. Cassian, this is my sister, Nesta.”

Nesta simply stared at him like a deer in headlights and he stared at her, his lips parted in surprise. He was wearing a grey sweater, his long hair hanging down, no longer in a bun like it was the last time. He tucked it behind one ear.

"Are you stalking me or something?" Nesta said incredulously.

"I could ask you the same," Cassian retorted cheekily.

Feyre looked between them, a confused expression written on her face. "Do you guys know each other or something?"

"Something like that," Nesta mumbled.

Everyone's eyes were on them as they waited for an answer.

"Well as everyone knows, I live in the same building as Nesta and Elain," Cassian explained, waving a hand to the two sisters. "The other night, I got stupid drunk with a friend. He drove me back to my place and me, drunk off my fucking ass, tried to get into their apartment thinking it was mine."

The entire room erupted into laughter, Rhys choking on his food and Azriel looking up as if reasoning with the Gods.

"So when Nesta opened the door," Cassian continued, "she nearly beat me to death with a baseball bat."

Another round of laughter.

"Overreact much?"

Everyone's eyes flew to where Nesta sat. They seemed shocked. Nesta was too.

She didn't know why she said it, why she let it bother her. He was just so fucking frustrating, even his mere presence.

Cassian stuck his tongue out at her.

Feyre interrupted, her jaw agape. "You guys are acting like children."

Nesta got quiet after that. The conversation continued, thankfully taking the attention off her. As everyone laughed and conversed, Cassian looked over at her. His smile disappeared when he met Nesta's gaze. She just stared back at him, lips in a thin line. He seemed to try to gauge her reaction carefully, but her face was blank.

And so the night went on. Nesta didn't say another word after what happened. She avoided eye contact with Cassian. Avoided conversation with everyone.

It was half past eight when they all began clearing their dishes. Mor, Aurra, Azriel, and Cassian were all gathered in the kitchen cleaning up. Feyre and Rhys had excused themselves. It was just Nesta and Elain who remained in the dining room.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Nesta leaned over to whisper to Elain.

Elain nodded. "We'll head out right after, yeah?" She must've noticed the exhaustion in Nesta's face.

Nesta agreed, excusing herself from the table.

She walked down the hallway, peeking through every door to find the bathroom. She was about to push through a door on the left that was slightly cracked open when she heard voices coming from within.

“I’m worried about him. He’s not the same.” It was Feyre.

“He never is when he comes home, Feyre," Rhys said dejectedly. "It’s happened before. Cass just needs time.”

Cass.

Nesta tiptoed closer to the door, just enough for her to listen.

“No, what he needs is to see someone!”

“I’ve tried. He doesn’t want to go.”

“Try harder, Rhys!” Feyre cried, her tone frustrated.

“We can’t just force him to go, okay?”

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Do you even notice how lost your own fucking brother is? Do you even care?!”

Silence.

“Rhysand, I’m sorry. Gods, I’m so sorry. I know you care. More than anyone. I just… I don’t want to lose him.”

She heard them both breathing deeply.

“C’mere,” Rhys murmured. Nesta heard Feyre's footsteps as she presumably walked toward him.

“We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Together.”

“Always, Feyre darling.”

They got quiet, probably embracing each other. Nesta crept away from their bedroom door and into the bathroom before they could find her.

------------------------------------

Elain and Nesta had just unlocked their apartment door when Nesta groaned. “Oh, shit, I forgot my wallet in the car." She fished around in her bag to make sure it wasn't in there. "I’ll be right back.”

"I'll leave the door unlocked," Elain called behind her as Nesta made her way to the elevator.

She stepped between the doors, hitting the button for the parking garage. Gods, she just wanted to go to sleep. The night had been exhausting.

After a minute or so, she was approaching her car. She unlocked her door and grabbed her wallet that was in the middle console when a pair of headlights flashed past her, a car pulling into the spot next to her.

Before panic could set in, Nesta recognized who was driver the car through the window.

Cassian.

His car turned off and he emerged from the driver's door just a moment later. He looked over where Nesta was clutching her wallet to her chest staring at him. He gave her a tight-lipped smile before turning away and walking towards the elevator. Nesta had no choice to follow.

She walked just a few feet behind him as they made their way to the elevator.

"I'm sorry," Cassian told her, his voice sincere. He cast a concerned glance her way. "For embarrassing you at dinner. And if I scared you that night."

"You didn't embarrass me," Nesta snapped at him. "You were just being annoying as hell."

His entire body seemed to relax at her insult. Cassian tried to hide his smirk but failed. "I'm glad to see you're still your normal, hotheaded self. You got me worried at dinner with your stoic behavior."

Now she really glared at him. "Don't talk like you know me. You don't."

"Oh, sweetheart," he teased. "I think we're more similar than you think."

She scoffed. "I think that hubris of yours will be your downfall."

"You know, it's quite sexy when you use literary devices to insult me," he joked.

Nesta froze.

Was he coming onto her? Chills ran down her spine when she thought of the last time a man expressed interest in her.

It's not the same, she tried to convince yourself. He's not Tomas.

Cassian must've expected a heated response to his comment because he looked surprised when Nesta simply stared straight ahead. She seemed to be in a world of her own, oblivious to everything around her. Any trace of anger was gone, replaced by a cool indifference.

Cassian's face fell. "Nesta, I didn't mean to - "

He was cut off as the elevator door dinged opened and Nesta swiftly walked out.

-------------------------------

tag list (let me know if you want to be added/removed):

@sjmships @sleeping-and-books @sirgwaines @books-for-sure @blowing-mikey @b00kworm @wineywitch202 @drielecarla @liquifyme @gisellefigue08 @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @loysydark @stardelia @sayosdreams @maastrash @superspiritfestival @courtofjurdan @ireallyshouldsleeprn @thewayshedreamed @booksstorm

#bittersweet #my writing #nessian #acotar #fanfiction #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #acosf

34 notes · View notes