#the deleted scene that left all of us in shambles

[shirmirart]

"And because of this handsome peasant boy, the Prince's armor began to fall away. Piece by piece. Until all that was left was the piece of armor protecting his heart. Peasant boy pulled and pulled at this last piece of armor but the Prince held it firmly in place. And with every tug, the boy made a space between the Prince's armor and his heart. And in that space, the Prince's heart could beat freely once again." x

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[iwanthermidnightz]

*sigh*

The way some (because it’s not all) of *them* are acting over what someone intentionally picked out from the entire prologue to share online (lol after screaming not to leak things lol), knowing it would go viral and lead to harassment of Gaylors/Kaylors is sad.

Especially when it proves that they go with whatever satisfies their insecurities over the possibility (re: TK for the time being). Lavender Haze “ended Gaylors/Kaylors” until the entire song and video came out, right? Or what about when “It’s Time To Go” and “Right Where You Left Me” were released and ended Gaylors/Kaylors” because they were about Karlie’s “betrayal”? Which led to Taylor commenting and saying what those songs were about.

When she deleted the reel about the LH, who was in shambles?

It doesn't change the fact that Taylor:

Wrote queer-coded lyrics and had an entire era of queer themes

Asked why people were mad when they could be glad (GLAAD) in a video where she placed herself in the queer community.

Pushed for the Equality Act to be passed and wrote letters, which she signed and added a rainbow to.

Said “out now” while wearing a rainbow dress to say reputation was available.

Has said, “I want her midnights”.

Wrote an entire song referencing a tattoo and a Tumblr account that a woman had removed and deleted.

Gave permission for “Seven” and “Ivy” to be used during scenes between queer characters on “Heartstopper” and “Dickinson”.

But somehow, Gaylors/Kaylors are projecting these things and creating them from their imaginations?

I am straight, but I have picked up on the queer-coded themes, etc., that she puts out. I actually…take the time to observe and listen to her lyrics and ask my queer mutuals on here questions about things I don’t understand because conversations help, and they matter. I don’t disregard their feelings or discredit their perceptions of her lyrics because I am mature and secure enough to respect their connections from her music to their life experiences.

From the excerpt (seems to be getting all the focus), it seems they think she is singling out Gaylors/Kaylors, but I think she’s simply saying that she was hoping that if the focus was taken off her dating life and that energy/focus were placed into her female friendships and having that concept empowered, they wouldn’t sensationalize or sexualize them.

Yet, they still sensationalized her friend group by criticizing /saying it was elitist, non-feminist, and a publicity stunt because all of her friends in the group happened to be white, rich, and thin. As for sexualizing, she specifically addressed the media by saying for her 25th birthday, she would like for THEM to stop accusing all her friends of dating her. While this was after kissgate, when the main discourse was not only still on her dating life but whether or not she and Karlie had kissed, let’s also look at these select lines from the reputation prologue:

“When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test. There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory.”

The same people who say Gaylors/Kaylors are sexualizing (because let’s be honest, that’s the only word they zoned in on. Lol) her female friendships have (along with the media) been sensationalizing the alleged “beef” with one of those female friends specifically since 2017. They also engage in sexualizing her male “relationships” that are also sensationalized until they aren’t because they loved all her “boyfriends” (Calvin less than others, lol) until they ended.

Anyways, thanks for letting me rant, IWHM. I wish you and others who stand to be harassed or cyberbullied over this peace, patience, and strength.

you came in hot with that one! thanks anon 🙃

[sukirichi]

— 💌 ; a love letter from @kyriaan

long post below regarding broken records. cw includes adultery, physical assault, toxic relationships, broken records spoilers, and mature content

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

Okay! I finally had time to actually sit down and properly read chap 5 cause ill be damned and burned if i dont pay special attention to one of my favorite series here! Rather drown or be sting by bees slowly 😒

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃 I for the first time don't even know where to start so allow me to be all over the place cause my emotions are also all over the place with this chapter ✌️

Ill start by y/n's dad caN GO FUCK HIMSELF? Like okay sir you might have fallen in love with our mom (ill give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his feelings) BUT SIR YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST? FROM THE BEGINNING? ALSO BRUH YOU KIDDING ME??? SIR YOU LEGIT ABANDONED YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER AND THEN YOU PROCESS TO 'LEAVE US' I- YOOOOO I WOULD BITCH SLAP HIM I SWEAR!!

Also ALSO ILL SCREAM FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NO KID HAS EVER TO BE BLAMED FOR BEING BORN!! Y/n mom's line: 'we have to atone for our sins' its legit BULLSHIT it wad NOT y/n fault her DAD COULDNT KEEP HIS DICK INSIDE HIS PANTS NOR ITS Y/N FAULT THAT HER DAD CHEATED!!! ATONE FOR OUR SINS MY ASS!! the father is the one that has to take responsibility for all this shitty situation we do NOT nor any kid out there in this situation has to be taken accountable by this!!

And now Suna 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 bruh im just gonna cry... Everything he does just makes me heart swell i feel so cozy when i read his parts like how sweet and present he is I- bruh I never had that... Actually seeing y/n breaking up with him when shes clearly falling in love with him just breaks me cause Girl for real Suna would be there for you... I get it shes afraid and shes acting on that fear but girl... Pls he truly loves you deeply not everyone is like your dad. There are happy endings. There are good people Sunas one of them pls 🥺🥺🥺 also MY LOVE TSUMU BEING A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND EVEN THO SUNA GOT THE GIRL BRUH TSUMU I FUCKING LOVE YOU MY CHILDISH YET ADORABLY SMUG BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

Nagisas a bitch btw ✌️ so far i see no redemption not excuse in what she did so far. I get her reasons but that does NOT excuse her behavior. She has to lash out at her cunt of a dad not at a innocent woman who was also a victim all along. Nor even her half sister. I get her mentality behind this but doesnt excuse her behavior at all- its basically the same as being a victim from a bully and playing bully after aswell.

Overall YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN SUKI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BUT ALSO UGH MY HEART SUKI!

[ from suki ] 

BROKEN RECORDS IS UR FAVE SERIES??? babe pls you’re gonna me cry !! nah nah fr his dishonesty caused all this mess. YEAHA SAKLAA tbh I love mama lucy but her words of ‘atoning for their sins’ or her mindset of ‘we don’t deserve to be happy when we’ve hurt others’ really messed up YN. she was only 21 and vulnerable with all the shambles happening in her family + the sudden assault from nagisa, that when her mother said those words, she struggled to let go of it. to her, it became like a final verdict that dictated how she lived her life.

SUNA URGHHH PLEASE GIVE SUNA A CHANCE HE HAS PURE AND GOOD INTENTIONS BUT I CANT BLAME HER EITHER AHSJAKA. and the comparison of nagisa being a bully’s victim only to become the next bully is true. nagisa should lash out at their shitty excuse of a father. ALSO AAAAHH THE NEXT CHAPTER (007) IS WORSE AHSJKAAL

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

I know shins attractive I mean mans perfect?? Does he even have any flaw?? And the way he cried when he got his jersey MYGOD FHDHFHFJSKS but I still look at him and im like.... Hmmmm nah i wouldnt date him its just not my... Do i dare say type? Cause i dont think i have a type ghfhfisofbd but like I just 🧍‍♀️

I love him i just dont love him i guess

The makeout scene tho ill give you that 🥵🥵🥵 made me bark (i would still walk out next day like was a good fuck kita byeeee🚉🏃‍♀️💨)

... More drama regarding mari... And you said this will have like 10 chapters... And from 8 on will be angsty.... 🙂 *traumatized noises*

[ from suki ] 

YUUHHH KITA IS PERFECT HERE AHSJKAA IDK MAYBE ITS MY SIMPING FOR NAOYA CONVERTED TO KITA ALREADY BEING PERFECT AS HE ALREADY IS AND I AMPED IT UP BCOS THE SIMP MODE IS ACTIVATED AHSKAA. the make out scene !! pls sir i’m on my knees spare some love in ur heart AAAAAAHHHHHH. also. i assure you. businessman! kita got game. he’s gonna make you walk funny if you give him the chance HSJKA

yeah i just finished writing the outline for track7 right now and the drama is HSJKAA it gave me a headache sobs 

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 006

I want to give you my usual thoughts on the new chapter and at the same ahm...

I just saw myself on Suna... Deeply....and it kinda slapped me harder than i was expecting...there were too many things from him giving himself to mari/treating her like he wants to be treated... To deleting his best friend from social media thanks to his girlfriend... And it really hurt me ahah..

I would vent but.. Yeah

But yes this chapter i saw myself in suna and i had to take quite the long breaks cause it was getting to me 😅😅😅 also if anything i learned from my experiences is that MARI SCREAMS RED FLAGS and even Osamu can see that pls

I would honestly end Mari there, i wouldnt even bother to just retort i would walk my way into to the damn apartment and fucking take Suna for myself cause Mari does not deserve him. Shes manipulative, and in a way abusive.. Not allowing him to keep contact with his best friend his a total redflag and o know its because Suna had feelings for y/n and vice versa but Suna never gave het a reason to distrust him.

The moment he said he was best friends with y/n and was single she immediately clinged himself to him and for what? To then dump him like he was trash...

He gave himself to her, he proved he was there for her he even took her back this boy deserves the fucking world and its not Mari...

I kinda want to say it's not y/n at this point either cause the way she broke his heart was kinda the same Mari did.. Y/n disregarded his feelings and just broke it up.. Mari disregarded his feelings abd broke it up... But y/n stated from the very beginning that she would eventually break up Mari just shrugged and didn't care so i can in a way forgive y/n i cant forgive mari

Besides y/n was supportive from the beginning while Mari was obsessive and controlling.

Another really insanely well written chapter as usual (albeit this one making me ball my eyes off harder because yeah) but yes~ eagerly waiting for the next one~

Take your time tho 😌🙌

Mari can go fuck off 💗💓💞💕❣️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💯💝💖💋💅

Suna x y/n pls

Y/n deserves to have a healthy love life with someone she loves (hence why npt Kita) and loves her back

And Suna deserve the fucking world and be treated right

[ from suki ] 

NAHHHH cuz when you said suna was treating mari the way he wanted YN to treat her... that’s right. on point. they’re all so complicated sobs. MARI IS A WALKING RED FLAG THAT OSAMU CAN SMELL FROM A MILE AWAY. ALSO yes mari is manipulative and borderline possessive when it came to suna. like yeah, let’s be real, she could tell a long time ago that suna was in love with YN and it made her insecure / jealous, but the whole time, YN kept her distance. she was supportive over their relationship from afar as to make mari comfortable. suna also did everything he could to make sure she was well cared for. for three years, he was focused on her and only her. he gave love a second chance despite being brokenhearted. suna never mari a chance to doubt because he, too, was sure he could be happy with her.

until mari left him.

and now suna is back with YN because they will always have each other. but honestly,,,if we think about it, if mari never broke up with suna or at least gave him the chance to explain himself - if mari didn’t do the exact thing YN did to suna years ago - he honestly would’ve been really happy with mari. they were going well. like yeah mari has always been toxic by pushing suna’s boundaries and asking him to unfollow his own best friend on social media, but he did it anyway. because he trusted their relationship. he wanted the best for them. 

also yeah, the parallels between mari and YN were intentional !! 

HEHEHEHE THE KITA X YN SHIP everyone loves them im so happy about that bcos kita is so amazing in my eyes. PREACH FOR THAT THO !! SUNA DESERVES THE BEST. SUNA DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND SO MUCH MORE

thank you for taking the time to send me this, kya, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to work harder on the future chapters !! <33

[spaced0lphin]

TBMS Deleted Scene

This scene was originally written for the as-yet unreleased Chapter 10, and is part of the little Citadel date thing. Whilst I love this interaction, I felt like it took away from the intention of the date which is meant to be a moment of respite or calm before a lot of intense action stuff and some emotional turmoil as well. This interaction goes some very interesting places, but it also ends up creating a dark atmosphere that sort of overshadows everything else. In every extrapolation I could think of from this point forward, Bailie would want to be alone to process this for some time to think really hard on this, and that’s not what I’m going for right now. For context, this scene comes a little after a conversation in which Shepard discusses that whatever's going on between them has to be Joker's call, and not hers, for reasons that should be somewhat obvious.

“Is there anything to see around here?” she asked, giving her leg a tentative stretch.

“I dunno, but let’s go find out. I mean, if we don’t find out within the next five hundred yards, we’ll probably both die, but we can at least say we tried.” He stood up, and a flash of bemusement crossed his features before he took her hand to help her to her feet. “Heh. I guess it’s the lame leading the lame.”

She put the crutches under her arms. For once, it was Joker who was waiting up on her. In the time since getting the cast she had figured out a good technique, and was soon keeping up. It felt good to move. She missed doing push ups before her morning shower, making unnecessary trips all around the decks without thinking about it. Hell, she missed just walking briskly, but as the days went by it was easier, she had to admit.

“I think this will come off soon, and I’ll get that brace.”

“Upgrade. Just, when you do, don’t pull a me and immediately put yourself back in crutches because getting to walk was so great. I did that twice.”

 Perhaps it was her imagination, but he really did seem to be walking just a little straighter. Joker always had this odd shamble to his gait that came from the way he tried to minimise the time he spent on just one foot during each step. He held his right shoulder up as a kind of counterweight to what she assumed was some kind of reduction in control of his left leg, but his posture looked more even as of late. He checked over his shoulder to make sure she was still following along.

“You’ll never guess who I’ve just seen up ahead,” he said, and nodded towards a quaint little shop front with a yellow awning. Grunt’s hulking shape sat at a wrought iron table, his bulk making it look miniscule. Even at this distance she could see his grin as he spread butter on a tiny round thing - a tea cake, she surmised. He looked up and saw them, and Shepard felt herself laugh softly as Grunt looked about, conflicted. She watched the gears turning in his head. Stay hidden? Or tea cake? 

“What’s with him?” asked Joker. 

“Oh. He was a little worried about me going off the ship, so I told him he could come along if he just stayed out of sight.”

“Krogan chaperone, huh? Let's go annoy him. He won’t headbutt me if you’re here.”

“You’re the boss,” she said, and turned up the little side street that headed up to the door. 

The smile he gave her was halfway between a smirk and something rather salacious. “Yeah, you’re right. I am.”

“I’ve created a monster,” she said under her breath, just loud enough for him to catch.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he said as he pulled the door open and held it for her. 

She met his eyes as she passed through. “I had no idea you were such a shameless flirt, I’ll give you that.”

“I’m a man of many talents. Shameless and otherwise,” he said, and tapped on the bill of his cap.

“Perhaps I’ll be the judge of that,” she said coolly. Her comment had the intended effect, it seemed, as he cleared his throat and looked away from her toward the menu at the far wall. She continued on past tables full of patrons. She ignored the familiar, yet unpleasant sensation of eyeballs tracking her as she moved. I’ll never get used to being a public figure, really, she thought as she approached Grunt’s little table. These people don’t seem to recognise who I am though, which is good… News about that won’t be widespread yet. I think they’re just looking at the crutches.

“Hey Grunt,” she said and pulled up a chair. “How’s the tea cakes?”

“Good with jam,” he said, closing his eyes as he nodded towards three empty jars to the side. “I like tea. Dr Chakwas said I should try some. I understand it now.” He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at her. “You smell different.”

“Uh,” Shepard replied with a bemused chuckle. “I do?”

“Hmm,” said Grunt as he picked up another cake. “Less adrenaline. Not as sharp. Did you get bored of being alone with Joker? Is that why you’re here?”

“No,” she said and smiled. “The opposite. I’m relaxed, I think.”

“You think?” Grunt echoed. She had to laugh as he picked up a teacup, dwarfed in his huge three-fingered hand. The loud crash of a serving tray falling to the floor caught their attention, and Shepard looked up to see an asari behind the counter staring directly at her. At the counter, Joker looked from her to Shepard and back, then said something she couldn’t hear. The asari looked livid. Her whole body tensed as she strode out from behind the counter with a purposeful look in her eyes.

“Huh,” said Grunt. “You smell normal again.”

 “I’ll serve these two, but you need to leave,” she said through gritted teeth. Shepard blinked.

“I’m sorry, have I done something?”

“Your crew can eat here,” she said, straining to keep her voice down. “But not you, Commander. Not after what you did to my husband.”

“Your husband?” Shepard felt like she had whiplash and found herself shaking her head with confusion. “Ma’am, I’ll leave if you don’t want me here, but I’m not sure --”

“Dantius. Towers,” she hissed. “I’m not going to say how I got the footage, but I saw you.”

Shepard groped about for her crutches. She saw Joker cut in at the side of the asari, who hadn’t blinked the entire conversation, focussed with an uncomfortable intensity on her. She looked ready to throw a punch as Shepard stood up, but he took the initiative. Joker put himself between them. Shepard blinked in surprise at him.

“Not to worry Ma’am, we heard you and we’ll be leaving,” he said.

“Amazing,” she said as she watched Shepard put the crutches under her arms. “Maybe the Goddess does dispense some justice after all,” she said. “You push my husband out of a window, and you end up in crutches as payment.”

“Oh, I remember that guy,” said Grunt. “He wouldn’t tell us what we needed to know. He was a coward, and he died a coward’s death. You should find a new husband. He was unworthy of you.”

“Grunt!” said Shepard and Joker both in unison. The waitress was too stunned to speak.

“I overheard you,” Grunt said toward her. “You said he ran with them to get money to make this shop. A worthy mate would have stayed with you, here, and built this place with his bare hands if he had to.”

“Grunt,” said Joker. “We all remember that guy. Shut up. You’re not helping.”

The krogan’s mouth was open as if to speak, but he closed it and remained silent. He thumped his fists on the iron table before he got to his feet. The look on the woman’s face was hard to read. She flickered between fury, abject heartbreak, and shock.

“Ma’am,” Shepard said, clearing her throat. Joker pulled back, out of the way and she stood up straight, ignoring the pain tearing up her calf as she placed some of her weight down. “I can’t bring your husband back. I did what I felt I had to do. Your husband and I both chose our lives, and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Tears were brimming in the asari’s eyes which she blinked at last. “Yes, he was. I’m… I heard that a Justicar swore herself into your service. That is the only reason why I’m… I’m not doing something we’ll both regret right now.” People were beginning to look up from their tables as the widow daubed at her eyes. “I know you can’t really be evil, but I don’t want you here.”

Shepard let out a brief, sympathetic sigh. “I know that it isn’t worth very much coming from me, but I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for your restraint here, today.” Without another word, she swung past, back out the door she had come. I wonder if I could have been so reserved, in her place? She took a moment to remember that split second decision at the towers that night. I was so focussed on my mission that I forgot I was dealing with a person. Something disturbing occurred to her. How often do I do that? She wondered. How often do I forget that they’re just… people?

 “Yeah, you can talk now, I didn’t mean shut up forever, just… Read the room a little.” Joker’s voice came from behind her.

“I know that. I was helping,” said Grunt.

“You weren’t,” he said. “Man. What are the odds?”

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.18, “Something to Talk A-Boot”

I got sent this almost immediately after people were able to stream the episode last night:

First of all, thank you, anon, for thinking of me.

But also, honestly? This entire episode feels like it was written specifically for me. TJ Kippen being a hashtag good boi? Check. A bunch of Tyrus scenes? Check. A couple of random, nonsense plots that I could make jokes about for days? Check and check!

The episode starts with Andi, Jonah, and Cyrus hanging out, waiting for Buffy.

Andi is dressed like she just walked out of a punk show in 1970s London for some reason.

Cyrus says Buffy’s on her way. She’s coming from an appointment. Andi’s like, but she’s not doing her hair until next week and Cyrus notes that she just had her teeth cleaned.

Jonah notes how they seem to know everything about Buffy and they’re like, yeah, we do.

And then Buffy comes hobbling over on crutches and with her foot in a boot and Andi and Cyrus look around in confusion.

So it’s that level of closeness where you know someone’s entire schedule but don’t pay attention to them complaining about their foot pain for weeks or notice them badly limping around places.

They ask her questions about this mystery injury. Buffy explains it’s a stress fracture she got because she tried to run a marathon on a dare.

Jonah asks her if she’s going to be able to still play basketball and Buffy’s like, yes...

And Jonah’s like, “Oh you know what I meant.”

At school the next day, Buffy walks the long way through the football field to class, when TJ shows up in a golf cart like an angel sent from the country club.

Buffy wants to know what he’s doing. He tells her he’s there to give her a ride to class, since apparently Jefferson offers no assistance to injured students.

“Can we offer a way to help incapacitated students get around the campus easier?” asks one of the teachers. “So they don’t risk further injury?”

“No, sorry,” says Metcalf, staring at rows and rows of hundreds of white rabbits locked in cages, each one labelled with the name of a student currently attending Jefferson. “There’s just no room in the budget.”

Buffy tells him how it stinks she hurt herself right before the last game of the season and now she can barely get around. So, he tells her, get in the golf cart already so he can get her to class. She does.

Making sure she uses a seatbelt on a vehicle that’s going no more than four miles per hour? I mean, talk about good behavior.

Later at the Spoon, Buffy talks about how far TJ has come. He used to be the worst but now he’s the best and, really, that’s like as far as you can go. That’s the whole span.

Cyrus is like, lemme just take this modeling pose...

...and put another point up on the scoreboard for the ol’ C-dog.

Behind them, Amber comes and dumps some girl’s food on the counter.

Andi notices and says it seems like Amber’s still struggling because she’s being a terrible waitress, but not in the normal way that she’s a terrible waitress.

Jonah’s like, you think this is my fault? Buffy’s like, I don’t think it’s an existential crisis. Jonah’s like, huh?

Well, sure, it could be that, but, if you’re not feeling artistic, it could also just be locking yourself in a dark room for several hours and crying. It could manifest a lot of different ways! Don’t limit your existential crises.

Amber comes over and asks to talk to Jonah.

Jonah apologizes for doing a bad job of breaking up but Amber doesn’t want to go back over all of that. She just wants one thing from Jonah: for him to leave. Don’t come to The Spoon because it makes her sad to see him.

And now it’s costing her money!

Jonah says he’ll go then. Amber says he won’t have to be gone for long, but also can’t really put a time frame on when he can come back.

I wonder how the owners of The Spoon are going to feel when they learn one of their waitresses banned a frequent customer from eating at their establishment.

Jonah tells the GHC that Amber needs some space, so he gathers his things and heads out into the cold.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie watch something funny on a really old TV.

It looks like one of those old microwave-sized boxy TVs with antennas and dials and everything from like the 1960s. One of these things:

The kind that’s technically a color TV, but only like four colors, and most of them have a brown tint. The kind that’s so grainy it looks like you’re watching everything through a coffee filter. The kind that emits the constant low-hum of radiation to let you know it’s working.

Where did they even find something like this? It’s older than they are. And how does it still work? I want to say this is the kind of thing you only find at your grandma’s house, but even grandmas got rid of this outdated scrap 30 years ago.

Also, why?!

I’m not exaggerating when I say nowadays there are literally thousands of better options for entertainment than stacking a bunch of tray tables on top of one another and putting a 10 inch screen, piece of junk on top. What point are they trying to prove?

Anyway, Andi’s upset, and not just because she lives with a couple of weirdos. She finished her application to SAVA but she doesn’t know if she’s going to submit it. She’s worried she might not be one of the small group who gets accepted. She asks Bex what she thinks.

Andi’s like, EXCUSE ME?!

Andi wanted her to say that she was talented and that she believed in her. Bex is like, of course I believe that! Haven’t I said that to you like hundreds of times? Andi’s like, well, you didn’t say it in the last thirty seconds so do you really??

Andi gets up to leave. Bex is like, hey, if they don’t accept you, it’s because they’re wrong and dumb! Andi’s like, OH SO YOU DON’T THINK THEY’RE GOING TO ACCEPT ME!?

Bex is taking a beating like a boxer on the ropes here. It’s like, why is everything I’m saying wrong?! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY SO YOU DON’T GET MAD AT ME!

Bex says she wasn’t saying Andi wouldn’t get in.

Andi leaves.

Bowie’s gotta be sitting there going, “Boy, I made the right decision to just not say anything.”

He asks Bex why she didn’t just tell Andi she’ll get in.

It’s a tough line to toe. You want to be realistic with your children, and not set them up for an emotionally crushing blow by telling them “Get all your hopes up! Nothing can hurt you!” but you also don’t want to damage their self-esteem. You can see Bex battling with the nuance of the issue.

Or, as Andi would’ve heard it:

At school the next day, Cyrus finds TJ out on the bleachers. TJ’s been summoned to Student Court, which is where a group of students figure out your punishment for a wrongdoing.

Mr. Bag is forcing TJ to go because TJ took his beverage transportation machine.

Cyrus is like, but you were just being a hashtag good boi! And TJ’s like, I know! And now I’m being hashtag persecuted for it!

Cyrus, seeing an injustice, decides he’s going to be TJ’s lawyer. TJ tries to tell him that’s not a thing, but Cyrus is like, too late! Train’s already left the station! I’m off to steam my lawyer suit. And he leaves.

TJ watches him like, “Uh oh, maybe I gave him too much confidence.”

Andi, meanwhile, debates with herself as she stares at the SAVA website.

Okay, I mean, in fairness to Bex, Andi’s awards are first place at a “Sew and Show”(?) and an honorable mention at the County Fair, so, you know, I wouldn’t say she’s a lock to get in.

Also, I like SAVA’s go big or go home attitude. There’s no save progress button. Submit your application or delete the entire thing and get out. Don’t waste our time with half-measures!

Jonah stops by to terrify Andi.

For old times’ sake.

She slams her laptop closed. He asks her what she was working on but she doesn’t want to say yet. She just says she has to make a decision.

Jonah’s like, don’t say the d-word around me. You know I hate that word.

Andi explains how she doesn’t want to say what it is because it might not happen, and she doesn’t want to open up to people about something personal like this, something that she’s so unsure about. And then she’s like, but I guess you couldn’t possibly have any idea what I’m talking about, JONAH BECK.

Jonah’s like, actually, that’s been my life for three years now so...

Andi’s like, okay, without me telling you any details, what should I do?

Jonah says this is making her tense and nervous, so forget about it.

Andi’s like, really? Jonah’s like, yeah, don’t do anything you have trepidation about. Andi’s like, sounds good to me.

Lemme just warn you, kids, following this advice is going to severely confine how you’re able to move through the real world. The real world is nothing but things that stress you out.

Andi thanks Jonah for helping her out and tells him to go.

Jonah’s whole storyline this episode is about people telling him to leave places.

Jonah heads off. Andi opens up her laptop and finds...

...that conversation was all for naught. Honestly, this is what you get for asking Jonah for advice.

Buffy meets with Kaitlin. Kaitlin sees her broken foot and goes, welp, guess that’s it then. We have no chance to win our last game, which she sees as a shame because they were getting so close.

Question: where is she getting this hope from? Last time we saw the team, they were in such shambles that Andi had to play and they lost so badly, they had to resort to celebrating just being alive. Good for her though, for keeping the faith.

Buffy says they still have a shot, that the team is light years better than it was before. I guess that happened off-screen. Either that, or I guess it’s like saying you’re light years better now at driving a car than when you were a newborn. When you start at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Plus, Buffy adds, she made a playbook.

Like, yeah, she’s been trying to teach them plays for months and they just kept running into each other, but now that it’s in graph form? How could they not succeed?

Kaitlin’s not feeling it. She doesn’t understand all these complicated dots and arrows and it won’t matter because it’ll never replace having Buffy on the court anyway.

At the trial of TJ Kippen, Gus calls the court to order.

I have to know, how in the world did Gus end up a judge? Who looked at Gus and thought, “There’s a guy who’s got his stuff in order, let’s put him in a position of power.”

Cyrus comes running to the stage, pulling several boxes of files behind him. TJ asks him what all of that is and Cyrus says evidence, but then he’s like...

Where do you even get phone books, plural, in 2019? There’s gotta be a store in Shadyside that’s just called Retro Junk and it sells things like 1960s TVs and phone books and only the characters on this show are keeping them in business.

Cyrus says it doesn’t matter because it’s an intimidation tactic anyway. He’s come to fight to make sure TJ’s not kicked off the basketball team.

Cyrus announces himself as TJ’s defense council. Gus is like, is that a thing? Let me consult with my voiceless co-judges.

Gus’s co-judges voicelessly agree to allow it. Gus says TJ is here to answer for his crime of “Grand Theft Golf Cart.”

Gus asks him to explain himself, so TJ and Cyrus launch into his defense, which boils down to this: he saw someone in need and he did something hashtag good because that’s who he is as a person, and, really, isn’t the real crime here that the school was going to punish an injured child for not being able to drag herself across campus in an unreasonable amount of time? How could any morally conscious person just sit idly by and let that happen?

Gus feels he and his co-judges have heard everything they needed to hear, but Cyrus disagrees. He thinks they all need to hear from a key witness: Cyrus Goodman. Cyrus grills himself.

Gus asks him to speed it up but TJ’s like, I think we have to let this play out.

Then, as his defense attorney continues to argue with himself, TJ tries to come to peace with the fact he’s going to jail.

At Buffy’s house, Buffy hangs out in her room when there’s a knock at the door.

It’s the entire girls’ basketball team.

They were wandering the neighborhood together and wanted to celebrate a season of losing all their games before they lose their last game and then don’t want to celebrate losing all their games anymore. I know that sounds like nonsense but I just described the line of thinking perfectly.

Buffy doesn’t like that attitude as the team’s captain, but as a human being, sitting in the room with baked goods mere inches from her, she agrees to the party.

At Bex’s, Bowie tells Bex he found a postcard from SAVA in the mail.

They both get excited that she applied and she’s going after her dreams. Bex also thinks it’s great that she didn’t accidentally crush Andi’s hopes for the future.

They realize Andi didn’t tell them because she didn’t want them to know she applied, so Bex makes Bowie put the postcard back in the mailbox.

Back at Buffy’s, Kaitlin brings her computer by and asks who wants to watch videos of their old games. She says they’re hilarious. I don’t know about that. Entertaining maybe, in the way that videos of building implosions are entertaining.

They agree to watch the videos. Kaitlin pulls one up of her shooting a free throw in which she legit closes her eyes for a full two minutes before shooting.

Kaitlin’s like, ugh, I’m so terrible and I DON’T KNOW WHY!

Buffy, using all the knowledge and experience she’s picked up from her time as both a basketball player and coach, says hold on, I think I know what the problem is.

She makes her go back and look at the footage again.

OH?! YOU THINK?! COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE IT?! YOU CAN’T PLAY BASKETBALL WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?!?!?

I’m screaming. This isn’t some subtle thing only a master of the sport would notice like, oh, you’re not lining your feet up right or you’re letting go with your guiding hand too early.

She shut her eyes!

For a long time! Like she’s trying to will herself to sleep.

She shut them before she even looked at the basket to aim for it! What did she think was going on?! When things went pitch black?!

“Okay, so, I’m holding the ball and want to shoot it into the basket. Then things go dark and when the lights come back, I’ve missed the shot. Just what in the world is going on here? Who keeps turning out the lights on me?”

How has this gone on the entire season? Better question, how is Kaitlin able to feed herself? How is she functioning in every day society? There are plants with better problem-solving skills.

Buffy guarantees Kaitlin if she just OPENS HER EYES TO PLAY BASKETBALL, her game will improve.

Then she tells Maria that she’s great at getting open, but that she never calls out to her teammates to let them know.

Buffy’s like, you have to use your voice, Maria.

And Maria’s like...

Lesson learned.

Buffy tells the girls they are better than they think. They can win if they fight for it.

Also, if they don’t shut their eyes for the majority of the game. Fight and keep your eyes open. 1a and 1b.

The girls agree and Buffy hands out her playbooks.

At the game, Buffy pumps up the team.

Armed with confidence and the newfound knowledge that being able to see what you’re doing vastly improves your chances at successfully doing it, the Spikes put up a fight.

Buffy coaches from the sidelines.

You know, I appreciate the wordplay of the “See you in court” sign that that girl is holding, and how it plays into the other storyline of the episode, but, honestly, who is that sign for? Which team wants that? Is that pro-Spikes or pro-Spartans or just... pro-basketball? Pro-wordplay? Does she just want one of the players on the court to see the sign and go, “Huh.” and give her a polite nod or something? What was the goal here?

Buffy continues to coach.

I’d say that’s over-coaching, but there’s a decent chance Kaitlin forgot between the sleepover and the game what the problem was.

The game nears to a close. Maria gets open and does some clapping, but doesn’t really call out to her teammates like Buffy told her to.

Half-credit, I guess. Light years improvement.

Speaking of credit, let’s give some to this loyal group of Spartan fans behind Maria, who show up to every game and sit in their same lucky seats, and wear their same lucky exact outfits.

Because they were there for the last Spartans/Spikes game, too.

You know what, if I had a cool shirt that just said “Weird” on it, I’d probably wear it all the time. I get it.

Anyway, Maria gets the pass and Buffy delivers her best bit of coaching advice yet.

Again, I don’t know that that’s over-coaching. That might be the exact right level of coaching for this team.

Maria’s shot goes in and the Spikes finally win a game. They all celebrate with Buffy.

Then Buffy’s friends storm the court and celebrate with her.

And credit to the girl who’s still waving the pro-Spartans sign even though the game ended several minutes ago. Keep up the spirit.

TJ’s phone buzzes. The court reached a verdict, so he and Cyrus run off to the theater.

Gus has TJ stand so he can read the verdict, and what he and his co-judges have verdicted is:

Cyrus doesn’t take it well.

Or, in other words, this is a KANGAROO COURT!

TJ tells Cyrus to stop fighting. He tells Cyrus he did his best, which... ehhh...

He kept his eyes open at least.

Gus sentences TJ to the harshest punishment allowed by Student Court:

TJ and Cyrus are surprised, but Gus explains they have very little actual authority.

So, wait, if they don’t really have the ability to hand out any kind of actual punishment, why even bother? If you can’t accomplish anything, then let him walk, otherwise you guys are just being jerks and ruining TJ’s lunch.

TJ grabs Cyrus’s shoulder.

I... think that was just supposed to be a joke about prison but... my God that got gay in a hurry.

Gus says court is adjourned and he and the other judges head off to return their robes to the choir while TJ and Cyrus hug.

This whole plot was silly. So so silly.

And I loved every second of it.

Jonah waits for Amber outside The Spoon. Amber spots him and she’s like, I thought I said to get! Scram! He’s like wait, don’t pepper spray me! I just want to tell you something. His dad got a new job and his parents rented a new apartment, which they’re moving into next week.

Amber says that’s great and she’s really glad for him.

Jonah says she really helped him through this tough time. She says he was there for her, too. Before he leaves, Amber offers to get him a milkshake. Not an invite back into The Spoon, mind you. Just a milkshake to go. The Spoon is still off-limits.

Back at school, Cyrus walks out when TJ shows up with another stolen golf cart like a demon sent from the country club.

Cyrus is like, did you learn nothing from your trial? TJ says he lives on the edge. Cyrus says he lives in the middle.

Cyrus gets in and he and TJ drive around the school with gay abandon.

I can’t believe I’m watching a gay teen romcom on the Disney Channel.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie spot Andi coming home, so they get in position to play it cool by turning on the TV and putting on one of their weird shows.

“It’s hideous!”

They ask Andi how her day was, hoping to hear about SAVA, but then Andi only tells them about the Spikes game and walks off.

Bex is shaken. Bowie tells her that’s okay. It’s the way it is. Kids don’t tell their parents everything.

Bex is like, yeah, I guess I just thought we were different.

The episode ends with Bex dealing with her greatest fear: she’s becoming her mother.

[tmorriscode]

Have You Ever Heard The Tragedy Of Darth Vader? It’s Not A Tale Your Fandom Would Tell You.

There has been some kerfuffle on the internet lately about the ending of the third Star Wars Trillogy. Specifically the conclusion of the Ben Solo/Kylo Ren Story arc. It’s got me thinking about atonement vs. redemption.

For the scope of this collection of thoughts, I’m defining atonement as “setting things right on a community level,” and redemption as “setting things right on a personal level.”

Kylo/Ben’s story arc is a redemption story, not an atonement story. And it’s a fitting echo of Darth Vader’s redemption story. In fact, The lack of atonement in Vader’s story directly contributes to Kylo/Ben’s story. And that’s what really makes the nine story arc a compelling tragedy.

Let’s set aside Ben Solo/Kylo Ren’s journey and come back to it. For the moment, let’s focus on the first six movies.

Star Wars and the Prequel Trillogy are about the fall and redemption of Anakin Skywalker, but not about his atonement.

In becoming Darth Vader, Anakin committed genocides. Plural. He started down his path to darkness by slaughtering children.

But Star Wars is not about how Anakin’s fall affected the galaxy, except when Anakin’s fall affecting the galaxy in turn affects our characters. The original trilogy/second act is told from the perspective of Anakin’s son, Luke. Through Luke’s faith, and through saving Luke Anakin is redeemed.

To reiterate, redemption isn’t atonement. Queen Isabella I of Castile was bothered by the the plight of the natives in the Carribbean enough to declare that they shouldn’t be enslaved and should be treated equally. You or I or a hundred other people shake our heads at the conditions of refugees in some part of the world we’ve never heard of. Maybe we send them our thoughts and prayers. Being remorseful doesn’t always translate into positive change.

Real atonement is about setting right what we put wrong. Darth Vader was redeemed, but he didn’t atone.

The sequel trilogy, then, can be viewed as an exploration of what happens when a character doesn’t (or can’t) atone for his actions. And perhaps, what happens when the people left to carry on also don’t atone in his place.

So let’s look at Luke and Leia and their failures to atone for Darth Vader.

Like and Leia were victims of Vader’s brutality. Leia lost her home planet. Luke lost his family, his hand and nearly fell to the dark side himself. Why should it be their job to atone for Vader’s actions?

Out of anyone in the Star Wars cast of characters who could have set things right, Luke and Leia were in the position to make atonement to the galaxy. Their (very human) failures set in motion the events of the sequel trillogy. (All three trillogies end on such hopeful notes, but yet with such potential for darkness).

At the end of the original trilogy, The emperor has been defeated, the rebellion is triumphant and the empire is in shambles.

By the first of the sequel trilogy, everything is in process of going wrong. Supplemental material between the two fleshes out the bare bones hinted at in The Force Awakens. There we see how badly Luke and Leia flubbed it.

As an aside, Luke and Leia were doing their best. This is an exploration on how very human mistakes make for interesting conflict and storytelling, not a condemnation of their characters.

Rather than admitting their connection with Vader and seeking to make amends in his name (or perhaps in spite of his name) the two of them hide the fact that Anakin was Darth Vader. They hide it from the Galaxy, From Leia’s political allies and enemies, from from Luke’s new Jedi students and they hide it from Leia’s son.

As Ben is growing up, they sense darkness in him, and blame it on genetics. “It’s Anakin in him.”

Luke also grew up with that familial suspicion from Owen and Beru. Obi-wan Kenobi hides Anakin’s identity from Luke until he is old enough to face it. Perhaps influenced by Obi-Wan’s decision, Luke and Leia delay telling Ben Solo until he is older.

What Luke and Leia don’t realize is that Ben Solo is being directly influenced by Emperor Palpatine and his puppet, Supreme Leader Snoke.

There are hints that Han doesn’t agree with the way Leia chooses to raise their son. That his disagreement with the choices she makes lead to their marriage fracturing, and his estrangement from the Skywalker family as a whole.

Ben knows none of this. All he knows is that his family is distant. (His feelings of abandonment may partially be what causes his attachment to his force-mirror twin Rey).

When the truth comes out, it undermines Leia’s political position, as well as eroding Ben’s trust in her and Luke, which pushes him further to the dark side. All of which empowers the First Order.

This brings us to Kylo/Ben’s redemption arc, which must be viewed in the context of Vader’s and as part of the overall story of the Skywalkers.

Unlike Vader, we see Kylo/Ben’s struggle with the dark side. But just like with Vader, when he’s eventually pulled into the light, it’s a redemption, not an atonement.

When Ben Solo falls, It’s telling who he targets as a representative of the First Order: His mother’s Resistance. His Uncle’s Jedi order. In deleted scenes from The Force Awakens, he boards the Millennium Falcon, but does not use that opportunity to destroy it. (Later when he wants it blown out of the sky, he does so out of anger at Rey for rejecting him). He kills his father reluctantly, but does not harm Chewbacca even when the Wookiee shoots him with a bowcaster.

Kylo/Ben’s revenge is personal toward the people who he feels failed him. His anger is volcanic: exploding, then retreating to simmer inside of him until the next eruption. Leaving nothing behind but the ashes of regret.

When he eventually turns back to the light, he is redeemed in that he makes peace with the people he has personally wronged (his father’s memory, his mother and uncle’s ghosts. )

The story of the Skywalkers shifts from redemption to atonement with Rey. When Ben gives his life for Rey, he’s started to set right what once went wrong.

This may be why Rey does not seem sad when Ben dies. For the Jedi, there is no death. When we get upset at his seemingly random death at the end of his story, we’re assigning our own, 21st century Earth meaning to Ben’s death. For the Jedi in a galaxy far far away, the spirits of the Jedi join the force and reach out to the living. As Luke says to Leia: Nobody is ever really gone.

The good parts of Ben will always be with Rey. His death in the light can be perceived as a cathartic moment. Much like the death of a loved one might be if that loved one has struggled with a terminal illness for a very long time.

Though he dies, Rey is left to carry on in his place. In taking the Skywalker name, she takes up the task of atoning for the sins of her own grandfather Emperor Palpatine as well as the Skywalkers who came before.

In rebuilding the Jedi order, Rey is setting the galaxy back on the path to peace. Whether the promise of that peace is eventually realized is up to Disney and Lucasfilm.

[grandmascottlang]

a beauty and a beast ch.1 (b.b.)

So. I am so freaking sorry that this has taken weeks to come out. So much happened that I don’t really want to get into, but it really prevented me from being able to finish and post this story, and I’m really excited to write it! This is for @sincerelymlg‘s writing challenge! I hope you enjoy this! (Also note: I changed the story a little bit so that it is more modern but it still follows the main story!)

Masterlist | Taglist | Buy me a ko-fi?

Summary: A tale as old as time between a beauty and a beast. [Modern!Beauty and the Beast!AU]

Warnings: Fluff, angst, slightly unedited writing, Bucky isn’t in this part (sorry!), also if you squint there might be a Good Omens reference or two lol

Words: 1.6k

[A/N: I just revamped my taglist and deleted everyone on it so I wouldn’t have to go through over 200 accounts to see who was active. If you’re currently not on my taglist and want to be added, please click the link above! On top of that, if you add yourself to my taglist and don’t interact within three stories (which includes this one!) you will be removed.]

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a young woman who was obsessed with reading, writing, and anything else that had to do with literature. She lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone. But when she was reading, she was in her own little world. And people didn’t like that.

The people of this village liked people who were open and very involved in the community, so when someone was reclusive and shied away from most community events, rumors were started.

“Maybe she’s crazy.”

“Maybe she’s ill.”

“Maybe she’s waiting for the right moment to leave.”

Leaving the community was almost as scary as someone finding the small town that was in the middle of nowhere and attempted to move in. Needless to say, the people feared change. The very thought of change irked them to their cores, scorched their souls, reeked of treason, or rather, resentment.

[Name] was never one to shy away from these rumors, she didn’t want to be like everyone else who acted almost robotically, she always thought of her village as one of the cities that she read about in dystopian societies. It was too perfect for her, and nothing in the world should be and truly is perfect. 

Her adoptive father, Steve Rogers, was always encouraging her to break out of the norm and be her own individual instead of being what everyone expected of her. She excelled in school and aspired to be a famous published author after she made it out of her hometown.

“Dad?” She asked Steve one day.

Steve cocked an eyebrow at her, briefly pausing from his writing. He was in the process of writing a fictitious war novel, most likely another one of his best sellers (except of course in the town the two lived in, where becoming a writer was looked down upon and shunned). “Hm?” He turned around in his spinning office chair to look at his daughter. “Something you need?”

“I just wanted to run an idea by you quickly before I head over to the bookshop and before you leave for your convention! My favorite author, besides you of course,” she chuckled, always having admired her old man’s writing, “is gonna be over there signing! I found out that he was going to stop here during his book tour at the bookshop!” She began to converse with Steve about his thoughts about the idea and afterward, she grabbed the book that she wished to get signed along with her bag and bolted out of the house, yelling a quick “Bye, dad!” as her hand turned the handle to go outside.

On her dash over to the bookshop, eyes tracked her path, followed by sneers and rude statements being said to her. Seeing someone run to the bookshop was odd, and to the town, she really was an odd girl.

She opened the door to the surprisingly large bookstore (which looked from the outside as if it took up an eighth of the space as it did in reality), heading to the second floor of the store. 

“Hello, [Name]! Good to see that you’re back again! Are you here for the book signing?” the store owner questioned her, a bright smile on her face.

“Vienna! I’ve missed you! I’m sorry I haven’t been able to stop by recently, but I’ve been working on my own writing so much that I really haven’t thought of giving myself a break,” she giggled, scratching the back of her neck in embarrassment. “And yes! I’ve been so excited about this for weeks! I’ve been telling my dad about how much I love his book and when I saw our little village on the book tour list, I screamed!”

“Oh, stop it, girl, you just stopped by last week to pick up a book! Don’t apologize. And I was so excited! His agent, however peculiar, reached out to me and asked if he could stop here during his book tour and of course, I said yes! He is one of my favorite authors after all, too!” Vienna said, beginning to ramble off about the email that she received from the author’s quite… odd agent to say the least as she began to lead [Name] over to where the book signing was.

“Anyway, as soon as you get your book published, you have to let me know! I really wanna sell it here; I have to support my best friend!” Vienna smiled over at [Name] before stopping in front of the author’s signing booth.

[Name] smiled back, waving as her friend, the bookshop owner, began to walk away to reshelve some books that had just been shipped to her store.

She pulled the book out of her bag, smiling at the blond man in front of her. “Hi, I’m [Name] and I absolutely adore your books, Mr. Fell! All of your historical fiction seems very real but at the same time, extremely entertaining and interesting to read, it’s impossible for me to put a book down!”

“Have fun this weekend, old man!” [Name] waved her dad off as he pulled out of the driveway, smiling at her before focusing his attention on the road.

[Name] walked back in the house, closing the door behind behind her. She told Steve to text her as soon as he was boarding his plane to the convention, and the name of it had slipped her mind. While she waited for his text, she picked up the book that she was currently reading and waited, passing the time with a good book.

After a few hours and no word from Steve, [Name] began to get worried. Seventeen of her calls went to voicemail and she grabbed her car keys and dashed out of the house.

She remembered her dad saying that he was going to take a short cut to the airport through the forest by the town and she began her drive in that direction.

She couldn’t remember there ever being a forest by the town until a few months ago and the woods seemed more mysterious than they initially had. As she drove deeper into the woods, it got darker and became almost pitch black when it was only an hour past noon when she started driving. On top of that, it was the middle of summer and it was snowing. Something wasn’t right.

Her headlights reflected off of something and she stopped the car. She hopped out and didn’t worry about her feet getting wet from the snow. She had other things to worry about.

She walked closer to what her headlights were reflecting off of. Steve’s car was totaled and his phone was in shambles. She could see spots of blood staining the snow red, leading away from the car and deeper into the forest.

She shivered from the cold and headed back into her car, following the general direction of the blood. She was also shaking from the thought of what could’ve happened to Steve.

[Name] drove for about twenty minutes until she stumbled across a clearing in the forest, revealing a mysterious looking castle. ‘Why have I never seen this place before or at least heard of it?’ she questioned herself as she opened her car door, exiting her car. She slammed the door shut, seemingly in awe of the massive structure in front of her. She walked up the marble staircase, continuing to follow Steve’s (or at least what she believed was Steve’s) blood.

The castle oozed an aura of nobility and richness, but it was covered in vines and in different places, the castle looked almost faded away. It looked very regal, yet run down at the same time. The doors were a great example of this: they were large, ebony-wooden doors that were carved to portray a scene of a knight riding on his horse into battle and the night seemed to be almost faded into the background, with moss covering his face.

Once [Name] had opened the doors to the strange castle, she looked around the grand foyer. “Dad? Dad, where are you?” she screamed. She began to look around more frantically when she heard a faint “[Name]?” from somewhere deep in the castle.

The castle was fairly well-lit, the girl looked and admired all of the architecture, it seemed as if it had been ripped right from the pages of her favorite novels. It was very fairytale-esque and the girl questioned how on Earth no one had mentioned that such a place existed only a few miles away from the town.

While she marveled at the architecture, she also noticed that every piece of furniture, every decoration, had a very antique feeling to it. Even though many of these items seemed outdated, they looked as if they had been used regularly and recently, however, the castle seemed deserted and empty.

There was a candelabrum placed on a small, oddly placed table. The candelabrum was immaculate and very well detailed, with gold leaves and vines traveling along all of the different “arms” holding up the candles. There wasn’t a single spot on it that faded with age and it looked shiny as if it was new. There was a box of matches next to it, clearly placed there to light the wicks of the candles. 

The table stood next to a large, dark oak door. When [Name] opened the door, there was a staircase leading downwards, without any lighting leading down into the passage.

[Name]’s first instinct was to reach for her phone and use the flashlight on it, but she couldn’t find her phone anywhere. She facepalmed after remembering that she left it in the car’s cupholder and she knew that her dad was more important than any phone.

She struck one of the matches on the striking surface, lit the three candles on the candelabrum, and began her descent further and deeper into the castle.

Permanent Taglist (Strikethrough means that I wasn’t able to tag you!)

@sendspidermanpics @coffeebucko @eternallovers65 @ymeradonnadx @spidey-pal

[carterusm]

“I think the whole rock’n’roll thing of ‘Yeah! We must go out and bed lots of groupies and get shit-faced!’ stinks!” (Well, Why do it?-Ed)

New Musical Express 10th December 1988, Page 10 - DREAM DEMONS

From sub-Birthday Party clanking to acid fuzz-pop and now on to intense guitar aggression MY BLOODY VALENTINE have become the Noise Chameleons of the 80s. JACK BARRON dives into their slipstream and discovers that the boiling young bloods are the head of a particularly ominous sonic scab that’s surely about to burst. STEPHEN SPELLER provides the oxy.

The journalist, immobilised by a massive student demonstration in Central London, is late. A couple of miles up the road in a Kentish Town bar My Bloody Valentine are getting restless.

The band’s songwriter, frazzle-haired Kevin Shields, absent-mindedly pulls at the crater-sized hole in his jumper. For a minute his mind wanders to his favourite drug - sex - before discarding the thought in favour of his second drug of choice: vegetating.

Bilinda Butcher, who once studied dance at the Laban School before quitting to take up slipstream guitar, looks at her watch and says to bassist Deb Googe: “If the bloke doesn’t turn up soon I’ll have to go.” Meanwhile, Dublin born drumer, Colm O’Ciosoig, who if you look at him through squinted eyes bears a resemblance to Animal out of The Muppets, is recalling one of his favourite dreams.

Has a lot of dreams does Colm, they’re so vivid and fantastical he’d like to turn them into films one day. This afternoon he’s remembering his Apocalypse dream. It occurs two days before a nuclear war in Ireland. Mass confusiong reigns. In the melée Colm meets a girl and falls in love with her.

Inspired, the drummer hot-wires her family’s Rolls Royce and is then chased by government spies who believe he has committed treason.

The pursuit ends in a park by the edge of a cliff. On the green a Bacchanalian pre-Apocalypse party is going on the likes of which would make the local village priest blush if he hadn’t already disrobed his cassock and been making love to a nun nodding out on a heroin jag.

A nude posse is formed to capture the traitorous drummer who flees to the lip of the cliff. With certain death before him and eternal damnation behind him Colm calmy steps over the edge...

Drugs... Sex... Dreams...

The door of The Assembly Rooms pub slams, jerking Colm out of his reverie. The noisy intruder has the hassled demeanour of a journalist very late for an appointment. Colm, the lyricist of the firebrand song ‘(When You Wake) You’re Still In A Dream’ on My Bloody Valentine’s splendid new album, ‘Isn’t Anything’, lights a cigarette - his second favourite drug - and readies himself for the interview.

The journalist makes amends for his tardiness by heading for the pumps. As the pints are pulled he’s still amazed by the demo he sat through for an hour and a half. The ‘80s thus far has been noticeable for complete agitational apathy on the part of students. Now, though, there are Young Bloods exploding with energy and anger on the street of the capital... and it isn’t just confined to protest demos.

Young Bloods are rattling the style bars of rock music in Britain. Until recently, with the exception of The Mary Chain, the guitar might as well, in these isles, have been a hairdryer. For a number of years it has been American bands that have made all the running and found fresh ways to reinvent the trad instrument. You know these people well enough: Sonic Youth, Hüsker Dü, Swans, Dinosaur Jr, et al.

During the course of 1988, however, it has become increasingly apparent that the American noisecore brutalists have had a knock-on effect in Britain. Every week brings a Young Blood band to light that has tapped into the attitude of aggressive psychoto-delic invention pioneered by the Americans. Some we have already told you about: Loop, Spacemen 3, AC Temple, Head Of David and Playground, while others such as God, You Make My Flesh Crawl, and Godflesh are in the wings, waiting to be discovered.

The unexpected King Kongs in this pit of guitar gurus have ironically turned out to be the once-fey wraiths of indie pop, My Bloody Valentine. Their new album, ‘Isn’t Anything’, is colossal. Surging with mutant guitar tones that come from completely unconventional technique, and dappled with disembodied vocals, the record’s song structures are the aural equivalent of a bendy toy with switchblades for teeth, or The Elephant Man looking at himself in a hall of distorted mirrors.

Whether euphoric - as in the gorgeous ‘No More Sorry’ - or skin-flaying like ‘Feed Me With Your Kiss’, the compositions all verge on those moments when psychoses give way to hallucinations. Or, in the blunt vernacular of the publicist, “That LP! It does yer head in.” And for once he isn’t lying.

Besides sartorial scruffiness and mutually acknowledged idols such as The Stooges and The Velvets,, what My Bloody Valentine and the Young Bloods further have in common with America’s sonic brutalists is the the f---the-max guitarpower is allied to introverted and reflective lyrics.

There are no messages, manifestos or instructions to be heard. Instead, these band’s look at their world, through occasionally dilated pupils and report back, obscurely and absurdly.

There are of course exceptions to this. Spacemen 3 have stopped trying to drag their brains out of their nostrils and now exhort and need for ‘Revolution’ on their forthcoming single. In the main, though, inner space, changing states of mind, and emotional turmoil predominate lyrically. And with, as I’ve explained, sex being the number one drug of My Bloody Valentine’s principle songwriter, Kevin Shields, it is hardly surprising that in amongst tunes dealing with suicide (’Sueistine’) and disorientation (’I Can See It But I Can’t Feel It’) there are five songs left on the ‘Isn’t Anything’ album about bonking. You’d be hard-pressed though to name them all, such is the opaqueness of the lyrics.

The tape is switched on in the pub just in time for Bilinda to say “Hello-Goodbye.”

When I tell the remaining three MBVs that their new music has come as a very pleasant shock, especially as I gave up listening to them several years ago following the saccarine ‘Sunny Sundae Smile’ pop affair, they fill in the cracks in my knowledge.

“You know there have been about four different My Bloody Valentines,” says Kevin. “When Colm and I started out in Dublin years ago we were determined not to do anything that wasn’t totally original. So we messed around with excruciating noises.”

“We wanted the next act to be along the lines of The Butthole Surfers.”, continues the drummer. “using tapes to make a total noise that would offend people. So we came up with original music. The only problem was it was boring!”

“Boring” is the most frequently used description by MBV this afternoon. It’s the litmus test they have used on their own music during their career: if it’s a snore, pack it in and find a new format. Which is exactly what they’d done when I caught an earful of the tepid wax of the early singles they released on Lazy, the label owned by the manager of The Primitives’ fly-guy Wayne Norris.

At the time, 1986/7, the Valentines forsook their noiseome experiments, which had got them labelled as Birthday Party rip-offs in Ireland, and became obsessed with coining perfect pop songs with sick lyrics.

“More than anything that was the obsession of our singer at the time, Dave.” says Kevin. “Dave now writes novels, science fiction and horror, thought he hasn’t had any published yet. The idea of composing a sweet pop song that sugar-coated some lyrical horror and sending it hurling up the charts appealed to our sense of humour. Also it was fresh after having made pure noise earlier.”

Lazy Wayne, ever the hustler, hoped to make the Valentines bona fide starts. The band had their own ideas, however, while critics were trying to squeeze them into pigeonholes like “a garage band” or “a legacy of the C86 shamblies”, neither of which fitted.

“Wayne used to tell me all the things we should do to be more professional,” says Kevin. “He said we had to make a commitment to him if we wanted to get on and off the dole. We just couldn’t agree with what he said though. We didn’t want to end up as a second rate Primitives. That was the last thing on our minds.”

Gradually it seemed that My Bloody Valentine were slipping not just into the second division but the Isthmian League of the indie scene. Their first album, ‘Ecstasy’, for example was deleted after a pressing of a mere 2,000 records. Critics and fans still failed to appreciate the evil lyrics behind the pretty song titles. The joke hadn’t worked because few people actually caught on as to what MBV were about.

“Once we’d mastered the art of writing snappy pop songs with our eyes and ears closed,” continues Kevin, “the whole project started to become boring as hell. And we reached a stage at the beginning of last year where we thought there wasn’t much point carrying on any more. Then a couple of things happened. Dave, our singer, left and with him to a certain extent this obsessive pop thing and also Creation Records expressed an interest in us.”

Home of powder-fluff cute pop, Creation wanted the Valentines for the very same lightweight songwriting the band had grown annoyed with. To his credit, Alan McGee allowed the group to forge ahead as they wanted, without restrictions, an act of faith that soon paid off with the remarkable ‘You Made Me Realise’ and ‘Feed Me With Your Kiss’ tinderboxes whose flashfire textures burned MBV’s once dodgy reputation down to a hard cinder. The latest album is a culmination of the band’s ethic of progress-via-boredom.

While MBV admit they have always been big fans of Sonic Youth, Big Black and so on, and that the Americans in turn have had a knock-on influence of the Young Bloods of Britain, pinning down exactly what makes it very distinct, on the face of it, bands gravitate together proves difficult.

“If there is a similarity it would be the one of attitude,” reckons Kevin, “The people involved don’t have any respect for the ‘correct’ way of playing the guitar but are more interested in getting new sounds out whichever way they can.

“It’s an indulgence, yes, but I think it’s important to go along with your whims. Calculation never makes for originality, it’s just limiting. Most originals are original because they have been individuals willing to follow their whims and not because they have formulated some incredibly original idea. But remember, people have been making a loud racket with guitars for years, so it’s not a revolutionary thing.”

Drug use may be prevalent among some of the groups mentioned here - the Valentines have often been linked with acid - but that, as Kevin points out, doesn’t account for the trajectory of the band’s music: “I don’t think weird music is the product of drugs distancing musicians from reality. After all, there are a million and one bands who take drugs and still play shit-horrible music.”

“If I was to try and make music that was acid-influenced it would be pretty unlistenable: it would be very fast for a start, I could only imagine taking one song and repeating it 30 times in three minutes. Maybe that’s because the acid nowadays is low on hallucinations and high on speed, compared to the ‘60s.”

If tabs aren’t the catalysts for the current monstrous waves of psychoto-delia the source for the approach of the Young Bloods must like elsewhere. And Kevin believes he knows where.

“An important ingredient that links the best bands around now is that for them 1976 and ‘77 aren’t musically relevant years,” he says. “That’s because the actual music punk bands made was really nothing compared to what came out of the ‘60s. Punk was very formularised. What it had going for it was the attitude and excitement.”

[developmenthole]

The Price of Aetherium: Outline

The Price of Aetherium was a retconed story arc for Pythia, until I overhauled her. I’m too proud of it to delete it, so i’m posting it here. This is the outline of the story, which gets wordy at points. 

Part 1 Nightmares

Done

Part 2 Reunions

Done

Part 3 Ozymandias

team leaves early in the morning 5am ish all on horseback. pyth, saulian and andoryan have cyrodiilic horses, do’kikhtar and motabe ended up buying  draft horses once reaching skyrim bc she knew it would be easier going back that way. brief description of traveling, mostly uneventful and nonstop.

once outside the ruins, the horses start getting nervous bc of the tremors. they dismount and tie the horses to a tree nearby or to some of the dwemer hitches. theyre all achy and hella sore, and andoryan bitches the most obvi, pyth and saul deal with it and do kinda agrees that shes stiff as fuck. a tremor shakes the ground and they all get a bit nervous, wondering if its safe or not. they got all the way here theres no way they're turning back now after coming all this way,

they head inside explore a bit and find katrias body but her ghost dosent show up bc saul radiates holy but they dont know that. they make their way along blah blah its fuckin boring pyth explains kinetic resonators, notes how they're not usually found in skyrims dwarven clans. basically she kinda takes the role of katria in explaining shit. do gets cut by a falmer in the area between shoulder and neck but saul heals her some so they keep going, pyth gets hurt by chaurus hunter.

they reach the summit (where the resonators are n you gotta shoot them) and pyth studies katrias journal before getting it in one go however comma andoryan knocks on one of the centurions and wakes it up. the team gets fucked up by it bad, but everyone is alive so far. they go and get the crest and its tired celebration and they start to leave. and because god hates pyth especially, a swarm of falmer shows. team is weak from the centurion fight so they get murdered. saul gets pulled over the edge by one jumping on him, Motabe runs out of magic and gets fucked and do flies into a rage, kills 5-7 and then gets overwhelmed and succumbs to poison. at the last second andoryan fucking tanks the shit and wipes the rest out right as pyth is about to get offed. she is hurt super bad and he pins her down reveals he is a Cunt. takes the aetherium for himself, decides to take all of it, including the aetherium in her eye. takes one of the falmer axes and uses it to cut out her eye. he then drags her to the edge and throws her over.

Part 4 Myth

pyth wakes up. saul is there looking fucked. she tries to move but saul stills her. she's missing an eye and her arm is broken. saul got a concussion and pyth asks if he healed her, he did not. she is confused. saulian nods towards a towering figure with its back to them. theyre cooking something on a fire within the ruin. pyth looks at saul and he shrugs. the figure finally stands and kneels by them, its ncz. checks on pyth, checks on saul, reminds saul not to sleep bc concussion. pyth falls back asleep

At this point add ncz (Nczek was Nchand’s early name) to the expedition roster.

Part 5 Pyre

ncz and continues to take care of pyth and saul until theyre well enough to leave. ncz helps bury what remains of her friends and katriah. pyth is very quiet and ncz and saul do most of the talking. ncz leads them to the entrance and sees them off. they make for falkreath

Launch ncz’s (Nchand) blog

it kinda switches to sauls pov because pyth is like. shell. he notes that hes moved her to his horse because she keeps falling asleep and hes worried she'll fall off the horse literally. he states that aside from the 4 days spent with ncz, they stayed in falkreath for 3. he notes that they really should have stayed with ncz longer because concussion and broken arm and missing eye but he wanted to get her to a town just incase they needed something food/potion ect. he states that he keeps an eye on her at night because of his own insomnia and that every night since first waking up at nczs shes had night terrors and he knows shes not taking this well. think oitnb piper post branding! eventually pyth picks up enough to ride on her own horse and talk some but shes still very distant. they go to her house only to find it in shambles like someone trashed the place. pyth steps into the back room/workshop and saul yanks her back just as a fire rune explodes. as a result the house catches fire bc wood.

saul tries to put it out but between trying to keep pyth from rushing in and trying to save stuff, he cant do much. he drags her out and holds her still as they watch her fuckin house burn down. as the moons rise they start on the road to whiterun.

Part 6 Untitled

Arrive in whiterun to somekind of bruhaha but saulian avoids it and goes straight to the temple of kynareth so pyth can get properly looked at. Scene ends with saulian leaving the priestess to do her work while he goes to figure out what was going on.

Scene picks up when pyth wakes up and she asks saulian what happened. She passed out on the horse on the way there and saulian brought her to the temple and a pristess set her arm in a splint and it wasn’t actually that bad and that regarding the situation, she should be okay but she cant use it. “Oh. thank you.” saulian asks if her brother works in whiterun she says yes, in the drunken huntsman. He asks if he also left valenwood under the same circumstances as she did she says yes. Saulian sighs and takes her hands. He’s dead. Pythia stares at him, clearly not believing him. He elaborates. Apparently he was seen walking with a hooded stranger last night and they found him along the wall. Murdered right in the city. Pythia breaks down sobbing and the scene ends.

A few days pass (2-3) and pythia has lost everything, essentially. Her eye, the use of her right arm, her friends, her brother, her home and now her life’s work. All she has left is the gold she had on her (roughly 200 septims) and saulian. At this point in time the vigilants are still around and saulian hasn’t found or refurbished the temple. Saulian says that he needs to go back to the hall of the vigilants, he’s been gone way longer than he should have and hes sorry. He says that if she needs him or needs help to go there. Pythia nods and says okay. Saulian leaves and now shes alone.

Jump cut to pythia burying aralas under the ashes of her home. Cue more crying.

Jump cut again to pyth making camp in the hills of the reach outside of rorikstead. 

Part 7 Atlas

This is the chapter about regret! I.e. pythia bearing the weight of the situation. Its mostly inner monologue

Actually it’s more of a sped up version of the stages of grief. She gets angry at herself for bringing them, at saulian for leaving her alone, and finally at fuckin andoryan. That cunt. She sits in silence by the fire brooding before realizing that the Dark Brotherhood is a thing that exists. Sure, she’s got a little less than 200 septims to her name and andoryan could be literally anywhere by this point but she’s going to have to try. That is, after her arm heals and she sees about getting a faux eye. Can’t wear gauze forever. She gets up to set some traps and heads to bed.

Here would be where the plotline would be opened up to interactions within the current timeframe. Would be open to muses that travel/hunt, or live in rorikstead/the reach.

Part 8 Two Graves

After 2-4 in timeline interaction have a call for someone in the brotherhood and plot with them

Points to remember, pythia is poor like. less than 200 gold. Pythia’s arm has healed and she no longer has a splint (recovery time is lower bc healing potions and magic) this dude could be ANYWHERE and is affiliated with the thalmor.

Fuck this im tired