#the dude is not benjamin button

[sugar-petals]

the military pulled a full benjamin button on jungkook. you’d think army training is like harggh lets make a man out of this child but this dude out of all people (buff, silent, defiant, athletically invincible, most hyperambitious sassyman ever) is now 10 times as shy and looks like he’s about to go full no more dream wtf jungkook enlisted as the perfect soldier and came back pre-debut lmaoo

[fratttymatty]

A Few Shorts

(All characters are 18+)

1

Elliot was the quintessential nerd: thick glasses, a permanent stack of sci-fi books, and a voice that cracked on every word. His hair was a dull mop of dark brown, always parted awkwardly. One day, a strange shimmer engulfed him, and he emerged as Alejandro — tall, muscular, with sun-kissed skin and a perfectly tousled fluffy TikTok hairdo. His voice deepened into a smooth, confident baritone with a casual Spanish lilt. Gone were the thick glasses; instead, Alejandro’s smoldering gaze had all the girls turning heads on the soccer field. He swaggered with a cocky grin, shouting, “Bro, did you see that goal? Epic!”

2

Sam’s world revolved around quantum physics and comic book conventions. After a bizarre encounter with a mysterious energy pulse, he woke up as Matt, the ultimate jock. His frame bulked up, face now tanned and sporting a messy middle part brown hair that looked effortlessly styled. His once high-pitched, nerdy voice dropped to a lazy drawl. Matt lived for football games and protein shakes, constantly throwing around sports slang like, “That play was lit, dude!” The thick-rimmed glasses were gone, replaced with a sunburned grin and endless confidence.

3

Oliver was shy, soft-spoken, and buried in algorithms. Transformation struck with a flash of light, turning him into Josh: the hot nerd everyone low-key admired. His fluffy brown hair was styled perfectly, with a casual middle part framing his chiseled jawline. His voice was smooth and charming, no longer nervous but flirty. He rocked a slim-fit button-down, glasses replaced by stylish contacts, and suddenly “talking calculus” became a pickup line. Josh’s smirk was now lethal: “Wanna see my thesis or maybe grab a drink?”

4

Max was the political debate club’s rising star, a walking encyclopedia with an opinion on everything. After a bizarre blackout, he transformed into Adam — the frat boy king. Brown hair messy and voluminous, a permanent tan, and a cocky smile. Adam’s vocabulary shrank dramatically, replaced with endless bro slang: “Yo, that party last night? Insane, man. You in the frat yet?” His liberal ideals replaced with a “work hard, play harder” mindset. From activist to alpha, Adam ruled his college scene like a champ.

5

Noah, a philosophical introvert with a love for poetry, was zapped into Liam — the lovable himbo. Liam’s fluffy brown hair was perfectly tousled, messy in a way that suggested zero effort but endless charm. His new voice was deep but slow, forever saying things like, “Dude, I don’t get politics, but life’s chill, right?” Liam was all about gym selfies, beach days, and good vibes. Books were replaced with protein shakes, and deep thoughts with dumb grins.

6

Ethan was a self-declared nerd king, always with his nose in fantasy novels. A sudden spark transformed him into Aidan, the skater boy. His brown hair fell in a messy middle part, with a slight greasy shine from hours spent under his skateboard helmet. Aidan’s voice was casual, peppered with surfer slang: “Yo, bro, catch the sick kickflip yesterday?” His clothes swapped out for baggy tees, ripped jeans, and a skateboard glued to his hand. His thoughts? Less about dragons, more about landing tricks and impressing the crew.

7

Ryan was a quietly sarcastic nerd with glasses sliding down his nose. Then, he became Nate — the class clown. His hair was fluffy, brown, and perfectly messy like a TikTok heartthrob’s, voice louder and filled with teasing energy. Nate thrived on making others laugh, cracking jokes mid-lecture, and rolling his eyes at serious stuff. His once sharp vocabulary boiled down to snarky one-liners and clever pranks. “Hey, teach, wanna hear a joke about your syllabus?”

8

Benjamin was a bookish introvert, passionate about social justice. One night, he was hit with a weird blast and woke up as Ethan — the 21-year-old ice hockey boy with a serious edge. His brown hair was messy but stylishly fluffy, always pushed back under a helmet or hat. His voice had turned gruff and confident. Ethan’s body was ripped, his personality all alpha bro energy: “Let’s hit the rink and then grab some beers, bro.” Politics and books? Forgotten. Now it was all about power plays and party nights.

[haysaprocky]

when i was like 3 years old my dad asked me to clean up my toys and i told this man, “go fuck yourself! it’s my ball” and in that moment he knew i was the captain 🫡

i had to fact check myself on the story about biting my cousin because i thought i might have made it up but actually i was right and i feel tougher because of it

[sparkly-trashfire]

I'm going to have to apologize to RGG Studio for bitching about these 50 and 60 year old men running around, just Benjamin Buttoning their way through life, because apparently real life Kiryu is 60 and looks like this?

So anyway, I guess it's accurate to depict all these old men looking 20 years younger. Seriously, my dude, what is your skincare routine?

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

hiiiii idk if you’re still doing postal matchups or boomer shooter matchups if you are, I would like to request one please

my name's Alice i'm female medical student that’s Mexican am 4,11 I have long brown hair and I’m kind of a little bit chubby I have a bit of autism and am socially anxious I enjoy cute things and pink a lot of pink am very into anatomy and reading I listen to a lot of metal and hip-hop. Also I have two pet cats

Thank you if you do do this but anyway you’re really cool and awesome bye

I’m going to match you with a 2 for 1 especially for waiting on me and my scrambled brains:

Gordon Freeman

You would both bond over your love of science. Sure, he’s a chemist and you’re more of an anatomy/physiology kind of person. But you end up learning a lot about each other. There’s also a shared appreciation for reading. You likely have dates where you quietly lean next to each other’s shoulders as you read somewhere peaceful

Gordon is pretty chill with your music. It’s surprising because someone as quiet as him actually prefers something a little louder. I will die on the hill that he likes A Perfect Circle and Breaking Benjamin.

He’s incredibly patient with you. So if you ever feel socially anxious tripping over your words or not knowing what to do, he smiles at you and tries to carry the conversation. He doesn’t talk too often and usually just shows you something or acts. But when he does, Gordon’s a very level-minded person to lean on. And I feel like his voice is like velvet gold.

Movie Dude

He would surprise you with any cute thing he can find. Plushies, buttons, pink Sanrio keychains, just about whatever he thinks would show his appreciation.

This man is passionate but a fucking train wreck, much like any Postal Dude. What separates him is that it’s not self-inflicted. He could try to set up a bowling date and somehow breaks something or hits someone with the ball and starts a mad brawling frenzy. Nevertheless, he makes up for affection, putting you first and being man enough to defend you from any trouble. You guys get ice cream and sit at the park instead and laugh off whatever life’s lemons attempt to foil. It’s actually brought you guys closer!

Loves your two cats. I think he’d get along well with them. I also see them growing close to him where one of them begs for attention like this

[rosemaryentombed]

bartkon aboutta get the reverse dickbabs treatment...... two dudes who are the same age steadily getting an age gap bc editorial accidentally turned bart into a fetus bc of misinformed art direction, but left kon an ambiguously aged ultrateen/young adult. they're gonna be dating, benjamin button style. kon's gonna hold a fetus incubating in a glass tube and tell people that's his boyfriend. if dickbabs can pretend to be unproblematic, then so can bartkon. this is how we can win- *gunshot*

[slashingdisneypasta]

How does Otis manage to just look healthier and healthier, the older he gets? What kinda black magic, Benjamin Button-Driftwood nonsense is going on here?

~

How does he start out with this mess-

Then become this almost regular looking man-

Then transform into this cranky old dude who you would only know is a murderer if you spoke to him??

[finchers-ipad]

‘David Fincher: Interviews’ Edited by Laurence F. Knapp book highlights!!

I just finished this book and it was SOOO fucking interesting, here are some of my favourite quotes from it :))

-"Because of the horrible Aliens thing, every time I hear the name Fox, it just makes me shrivel. I lose circulation in my hands and feet and I think I'm going to become a quadruple amputee.”

-"I never thought it was scary at all. I turned to the editor and said, 'My God, what have we done? We've totally let people down in the fucking terror department; we need to go shoot some dismembered bodies. Go and see if you can get someone from a morgue and chop 'em up. "

-"Right up to when we finished, I just didn't think it was violent enough. I was like, We've got a movie called Fight Club, we might as well call it Glee Club?”

-"There was absolutely nothing fun about making the movie." He gives the matter a little more thought. "Nope," he finally decides. "Nothing."

-DRE: Is Jared Leto tired of getting the crap beaten out of him in your movies? DF: He's perfect for it, isn't he? If there is any guy you want to see get his face burned off it's him.

- So now I have kids in my daughter's school who go: "Man, I love Fight Club," and you go: "Why are your parents letting you watch that? Don't come near my kid."

-I remember being a little bit, 'Uh-oh’ And Brad's drunk and Edward's drunk and Helena's drunk and they're all like, ‘It's great and we love it' and I'm like, That's fantastic. You did notice that there were six hundred other people there who walked out ready to lynch us?'"

-You know, it's like accountants and lawyers all love The Game, and college students and perverts all like Se7en.

- Empire: You've been developing Heavy Metal and Torso, among other projects. Any idea what you're doing next? Fincher: I'm sleeping for six months! I think I'm whoring myself out to come to fly around Europe and defend my honor, but I don't honestly know.

-Look, people come up to me and say, "You started torture porn." And I say, "Fuck you."

- "So it's about fighting." And they went out and sold ads for this movie on World Wrestling Federation. [audience laughs] I said, "You know, the crowd who go to the WWF are going to be made a little uncomfortable. Certainly the opening weekend, they're going to be like, 'Dude, that was gay."

-"aside from being completely unusable, it's fantastic!" They are close to wrapping the final Swedish stint of the production before flying back to LA, where they'll take the weekend off before the last week of shooting. "That gives me two days of uncontrollable weeping," says Fincher.

-"There's a quote from a film critic that David had enlarged, framed, and hung in his conference room," says Social Network writer Aaron Sorkin. "It calls Fight Club 'amoral and Godless.' I think he'd rather have that quote than a Palme d'Or."

other random things:

- Fincher came up with “ikea boy”

- Brad Pitt riding a segway around Fincher’s office and trying to convince him to join him. this was in an interview for benjamin button, and then years later in an interview for ‘the girl with the dragon tattoo’ the interviewer says there is a segway in Fincher’s office, in this article, he is also described as a ‘Segway-riding gearhead’.

- if i took a shot every time Fincher or Ed Norton compared ‘fight club’ to ‘the graduate’, i would be dead from alcohol poisoning 

- my favourite interview was ‘Forget the First Two Rules of Fight Club’ by Nev Pierce for ‘Total Film’, it was so funny and well written and interviews Fincher, Norton, Pitt and HBC. i think you can find a preview of it online but PLEASE read it if you like fight club because is so fucking good!!!

[the-jnadf-man]

VIOLENCE THOUGHTS (Nobody asked but here goes anyway :))

7-1!

"Aw man can't wait to OH SHIT FLASHBANG"

"Where the fuck am I going" *spends like 3 minutes running in circles*

"FAST FUCKING DOLLS! MURDER"

"Yo holy shit BIG MAN JUMPSCARE! FOLLOW THAT BITCH IMMEDIATELY I WANT TO FIGHT IT"

"Oh hey Maurice"

*Spends another 3 minutes running in circles*

"Why is it so dark"

"Oh ye gods it's" *Points dramatically* "MINOS' WILD RIDE 2!"

"Oh I get to fight people on the rollercoaster? REAL SHIT? AW YEAH I LOVE IT WHEN THE GOONS ARRIVE ON CARTS" *Proceeds to fall off cart due to hands shaking from excitement*

"I GET TO FIGHT BIG MAN ON DA CART?! YES YES YES YES YEW"

"Boy that is a MICROSCOPIC hitbox"

"Oh sweet another goon"

*Wins on round 2* "That was a fun fight"

*House of Leaves reference comes back for round 3* OH SHIT OF FUCK NONONO

"That bitch has a Panopticon hammer?? That's really cool!"

*Wins* Aw naur Big Man fucking dieded :("

*Reads lore entry* "So this is illiteracy. I don't care for it.

*Reads more* *Starts crying inside* "MINOS WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GET YOUR DOG"

7-2!

"YO ITS A DA GUTS MAN"

*Performs victory dance* "Oh they EXPLODE when you Goomba stomp their corpse okay cool I guess.

"Is that the fucking Big Ben"

"Why are the Mannequins in here. Are they made of the British??"

*Fails to notice the train. Tram. The thing you put the bomb on.* *Runs into the Guttertank instead* "Oh what is THAT" *Dies*

*Wins round 2* "Shit's crazy" *Almost dies to landmine* "Shit's crazy!"

*FAILS to notice red skull place location* "Okay better follow these tracks"

"Oh there's a hole in this building" *Lose shit and get very scared of the Under Construction sign*

"Okay where get bigger boom though" *Spends like 7 minutes accomplishing nothing whatsoever*

*Friend in VC tells me to put the nuke on the train* "What fucking train???"

*Backtracks after another 4 minutes of confusion* "Wow."

*Finishes level with some difficulties* "That took almost half an hour. Man. That's kinda sad."

*Reads Guttertank lore (And name)* "GUTSMAN TANK CANON"

*Laughs at Faust Panzer for like five minutes with friends*

7-3!

"Oh okay these are some funky-ass trees"

"Mmmm yes the Mannequins LIKE the dark spooky forest where they kill people. Definitely made of The British."

"Yoooo I get to feed the tree"

"What's up with these funky blood men???"

"Oh okay guess this is happening now"

"They upgraded the blood men????"

"Oh that is. EVERY all of the bad guys???" *Does not notice dual wield*

*Finishes level, somehow gets an S* "That sure was a thing I just did."

7-4!

"Oh no this passage is made for short people. Guess I'll have to go back inside."

"BIG FUCKING DUDE"

"Holy shit it's the it the its its IT'S THE FUCKING MARIO GALAXY BOSS"

*Opens blood waterfalls* "Oh no it's the plague! We've released the plague rats!"

"IT'S THE FUCKING- THE HALBERD'S DEFENSE SYSTEMS ARE DOWN WHERE'D THE BIG FUCKING LOBTER GO"

*Gets stuck in rising blood, mashing jump button, getting bullied by friends for dying* "The game just did not bloody let me jump :("

"Oh sweet it's Mother Brain with Star Dream's lasers" *Dies x3*

"I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE"

*Proceeds to die to environment during escape sequence, more friendly(???) (I cannot tell at the best of times, but I assume yes) bullying from friends (Mostly the one person)* ":("

"YOOO BIGGER MAN EXPLODEAD"

*Finishes level* 10/10! *Internet fucking. Dies??* "Yeah seems like a good spot to end on"

*Reads Earthmover's lore* Mmmm, robot giraffe bad, gotcha.*

*The next day* *Reading TVTropes* "THUS THEY HAVE BEEN CHRISTENED!

BENJAMIN!"

[11x13kyle]

Kenny cheekily cards everyone meanwhile a literal teenager could order a beer from stan and he would be too nervous to card them and end up serving underage customers on multiple instances until he gets caught and fired for it

stan is kind of age blind so to avoid any awkward situations his solution is to not card like 90% of the time. a 13 year old orders a beer and stan gets nervous and goes “dude, i really can’t do that—” and the 13 year old goes “i have benjamin button disorder!” which totally works on stan because he’s like shit i didn’t know that was real i thought it was just for the movie, but, you know, i don’t wanna be ableist or anything and question him. i’ll just google it when im off later. better safe than sorry.

[alexiostheweirdovampire]

UhhabajavaisvJxvajzb pin postttt

Hello.

I am Alexios and my pronouns are He/They, and i'm a demisexual transmasc! i also follow Hellenic polytheism :3

I am a minor and i have a boyfriend so please nothing weird. I have a horrible obsession with Flee The Facility on roblox.

Bands/Musicians that I like

My Chemical Romance

EPIC THE MUSICAL

Pierce The Veil

Paramore

Fall Out Boy

Ricky Montgomery

Cavetown

Arctic Monkeys

Good Kid

Vienna Vienna (pls go listen to them omg)

Alec Benjamin

Surf Curse

Chappell Roan

Will Wood/Will Wood and the Tapeworms

The Front Bottoms

Grouplove

Hot Freaks

My favorite games

Roblox

subcategory of roblox

Forsaken

Flee The Facility

Be A Silly Seal

Fruit Juice Tycoon

Minecraft

Stardew Valley

Sally Face

Spider-Man (PS4&5)

The Legend Of Zelda (whole series)

Ace Attorney (whole series)

Cookie Run Kingdom

The Sims

idk man i mostly just play roblox nowadays

Content warnings and stuff I do/don’t post

I post and reblog gory stuff sometimes. I will try to tag accordingly, just be warned.

I do not post or reblog anything explicitly NSFW(the spicy one), but I will occasionally rb suggestive things or asexual memes, I will try to tag as “suggestive content” but tbh i usually just hit the rb button dude idk.

amending this, i do post and repost political content. i have and will continue to hold punk and anarchistic ideas and beliefs. i believe that every human being should have the right to exist, the right to express, and the right to protest. ACAB, From the river to the sea, and may all of us be safe and protected by the gods.

I do curse and occasionally say slurs I can reclaim, (some type of gay pre-T trans man), I probably wont tag bc I forgor.

Feel free to ask anything thats not 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 :3

Thank you for reading!

CYA!!!

-TOTALLY NOT A VAMPIRE

[toyintrance]

obsessed with the implications of this ad. dude transitions at 45 but then tragically Benjamin Buttons back into a 25-year-old, undoing his top surgery and years of bodybuilding.

[thenightisland]

Hii💕

For the Bookish Asks:

📖What is your favorite book-to-movie adaptation, and why? 

📗If you could have a conversation with any author, living or deceased, who would it be and what would you ask them?

- No David Fincher adaptation has ever disappointed me (dragon tattoo, gone girl, fight club, benjamin button, etc) dude just has a knack for making good adaptations. If i hear he's turning a book into a movie i take it as a book recommendation. I have so many adaptations i adore but his are just so reliably good lol

- I would sit down with Robin hobb with a list of all the most damning lines in her book series and say "explain yourself" (i also have some Questions for her about clerres and the catholic church)

[lizardwoman-from-earths-core-2]

I had the weirdest dream last night, so I thought I'd share it here before it's completely gone from my mind.

It was set in Ankh-Morpork and there were two people from the future. One was a dude who was a private detective, and one was a woman who was the patrician. The city had moved out of the Victorian Era style and now everyone was dressed like it was the 1920's.

So, these two people travel back in time and they're like "cool, we can meet the people who made this city great". So they meet Sam Vimes and he follows them around since they are acting strange.

They make it to the Patrician's palace, and the woman is in awe about every little thing. Birdbaths, benches, everything.

She makes it to the Oblong Office, and a woman opens the door. The time traveler asks if she can meet Lord Vetinari, and then everything loses sound as this other woman (who I guess is a nurse?) mouths that Vetinari has just died. The future patrician walks away in slow motion as cameras click like it's an emotional scene in a movie. She's wide eyed and in shock.

And then it ends with dude doing a Benjamin Button and aging backwards until he dies for some reason. Kind of weird considering I haven't watched that movie since I was in 9th grade but whatever.

Fin

[tele-mesmerism]

i did not know the curious case of benjamin button was written by f scott fitzgerald but ok. it was actually pretty good but also sorry, mostly very funny esp bc i was listening to a british dude read it & smth abt the way everyone acts (absurdly) makes sm sense when theyre british. for everyone whos not gonna read it you have to know ppl keep telling him to just stop its not funny -_- youre not impressing anyone. when hes just. aging. backwards.

[kedreeva]

Okay the nominations I liked best are in, time to vote for your favorite name for him

Bernard Dave Douglas Spencer Pedro pasquail Norman Benjamin Button Charles

This is what he looks like outside of the horrible red light

Do you see what I see

The world's best "dad" sleeping with a pile of children who aren't his and are nearly as big as he is

This is possibly the world's most tolerant button quail. He still runs around a little when he thinks I'm gonna catch him, but he isn't throwing himself at the bars trying to get away just because I opened the cage. Didn't even get up when I turned the flash on and stuck my camera in his face.

He was hatched with the first coturnix of this year, and he's just sort of been in the brooder cage ever since. He is often just like this, snuggled down with the smallest of the babies, hanging out under the heat lamp with them.