#the entire movie I wasnt thinking bout the others I was thinking about them and their dynamic omygod

[xplore-the-unknwn]

HEAR ME OUT-

vid by @thatfilmguy5 on tiktok

Their scenes together have this likable tension. Every time Im like WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHY DO I LOVE IT. There was this super intense scene in a field where Mae called for him and Noa came to her aid like a knight on a horse literally. It got me like- Oh… I want to see where this is going. 😳😳🙈

Their dynamic also complements each other that its cute! How they’re parallels but similar in what they’re fighting for. Both opening each other’s eyes to different worlds. HOW COULD I NOT WANT their relationship to develop in future sequels (even if they’re not endgame the TENSION IS THERE)

and their chemistry-

Its chef’s kiss. Its the Highlight of this film. When you watch it you’ll know. Their chemistry makes the characters sooo rootable and makes you more curious that you want to see how their dynamic flourishes whether as enemies or as besties- which is good and healthy for the franchise!!

Idk how they did it but the writers and Wes Ball knew what they were doing pining us with this tension. GENIUS.

[scorpius-major]

#and they were roommates

Ft: Tighnari, ayato, scaramouche, and gn!reader

Modern Au!

In which they are your roommate and hijinks ensue gn!reader but like hints to perfume and “girly” things ig. Also mentions of a concussion and the reader getting whacked with a chair.

Tighnari

The plant mom roommate

Tighnari is THE plant roommate. Everywhere you look there’s just a potted plant. You’ll see the most exotic plants too. AND HES SO CALM ABOUT IT. like he keeps his one endangered plant in the house and you’re just like “isnt that endangered?” He pauses, mumbles “yes” and leaves the room. He takes hella good care of them tho. Nari ALWAYS uses fresh herbs and spices when he cooks. He saw store bought spices in the cabinet and literally threw them OUT THE WINDOW. Rachel Ray who? Bro got a mortar and pestle and cracks fresh pepper. But the apartment always be smelling HEAVENLY. All that basil and mint be workin wonders for air. HES SO NEAT TOO. like bro is always tidying up when he has free time. He’s also very passive when it comes to you cleaning. “Hmmm when’s the last time you tidied your room?” Nari also helps you with with anything! Work projects or uni work he’s down to do anything with you. Even if you’re not in a relationship, he’s very domestic and cuddly! Whenever you both have free time expect late nights in and movie nights! But he’s a great roommate 9/10

Ayato

The “you’re rich why the hell do you need a roommate” roommate

There’s legit no reason why this man needs a roommate. He’s rich. Sometimes you secretly think it’s because he’s a little lonely, but he always denies it. Sometimes you don’t see him around the house. Oh yeah and it’s supposed to be an “apartment” but it’s the size of a middle class townhome. He’ll always say he’s going to “clean the apartment” SIR THAT HOUSE IS PROBABY WORTH MORE THAN MY LIFE. But the house is fr ALWAYS tidy. He will not allow the house to be messy at ALL. Unlike Nari, ayato is not passive at all. He will legit just say “go clean your room now”. Like he’s your mom. And you clean it, because he’s lowkey scary. Not even to mention the fact that the entire house is decked out with designer furniture. Gucci throw pillows, and blankets that probably costs an entire college tuition. But he always spoils you! Looked at a perfume for more than two seconds? Bam it’s on your bed the next morning. Said how you were gonna buy a watch? Well now you have a Rolex. Ayato is another one who likes to cook, but he just doesn’t have much time for it. Although whenever you eat out expect high end restaurants. He says “dw, just dress casually” AND HE SHOWS UP IN A SUIT. so you’re just sitting there in like the most upscale establishment in jeans and a tshirt. Another great roommate 8.5/10

Scaramouche

the “wait I have a roommate?” roommate

Honestly neither one of y’all knew the other existed. For like the first 6 months you thought you were living alone. He did too. It wasnt until he caught you making pudding in the kitchen at 3am. It was a pretty awkward situation tbh. Like imagine your minding your own damn business in the kitchen whippin up some delicious ass pudding and this random 5’3 dude comes downstairs. Tbh I’d panic too. Y’all fr never met before. The landlord was like pretty brief and said “oh yeah btw you have a roommate” and legit that was it. So you’re bout to put the pudding in the fridge and BRO JUST HITS YOU WITH A CHAIR. FULL FORCE ON SOME WWE SHIT. you probably had a concussion but you were more concerned about why there’s a dude with a bowl cut standing in your kitchen. in the midst of all the chaos somebody ends up saying “who tf are you???” And by grace you both say “I live here who tf are you??” At the exact same time. Then you’re both just stand there like🧍🏾‍♀️🤨. Or well he’s standing and you’re sitting bc you fell over from the chair. You both clear some stuff up. The both of you make a collective decision to blame everything on the landlord. You had a roommate for 6 months and didn’t know? The fuckin landlord man. You spilled the delectable pudding on the floor? It’s that damn landlord again. This bohemian rhapsody mf wanna start talkin shit so you bring up his relationship with his mother and he starts crying? ITS THE GOD FORSAKEN LANDLORD AGAIN. You two got this like rivalry going on. On small stuff too. Who can eat their bowl of fruit loops faster. He beats your ass in Mario kart? He will not shut up about it for the next year. You beat his ass in super smash bros? You hold it against him for the next 2 years. He’s surprisingly very neat too. I feel like he can’t cook for shit tho LMAO. Bro probably burnt tf outta pasta and never cooked it again. He leaves all the cooking to you and Uber eats. 7/10 roommate.

[missn00tson]

Am I the only person that hated s4 of tua?

Look, i am a big fan of the series, and I was so happy when the new season came out.

And s3 was a bit long for me, in the sense that some scenes were boring, so I wasnt too unhappy with a shorter season.

But what was this

Spoilers for The umbrella Academy season 4!

First of all, the whole Five and Lila relationship.

They are platonic friends, like siblings. Who thought it would be a fun idea to make them romantic all of a sudden?

"Oh, but they got stuck in time for 7 years its only natural"

You have to be shitting me.

I've been celibate for over 7 years, you think I'd date my brothers WIFE if we spend time tgt for those years? No. Fuck no.

It doesnt even seem to click with Five's personality, because he's so insanely loyal and caring towards his family. He would not do that, if we were to follow his personality from s1 to 3.

This brings me to Ben.

I have never been the biggest sparrow Ben fan, I'll admit that. I've always been an umbrella Ben fan and sometimes I wished sparrow Ben was more like him.

So you can imagine, I was happy when he started to appear more caring for Jeniffer.

Until they totally switched up his character.

Yes, he was influenced by the bond (which reminds me of the whole nesting situation of the last episode, which I must admit was very entertaining) which made him more loving yadaydaydaya. But everyone shows their love in a different way, sparrow Ben' type of loving is in no way shape or form sweettalking and grossly cutesy forms of affaction.

You might think so (the writers apparently did) but I surely disagree.

So his personality was, as you might guess, also out of the window.

His talking brings me to my next point. The dialogue.

I'm not sure if its just me, but it was so.goddamn.messy.

It was no dialogue, it was just a bomb of one liners aiming for nothing.

It had no feeling, no personality. Its as if the writers saw the one liners we liked, pasted them into an ai engine, and let it spit out 100 new ones to fill the movie.

I would like to give specific examples, but it happened all.the.time. If you dont believe me, watch the last episode. The only in character person was Victor (even though he's not my bestie, I loved that they stayed true to his character) with wanting to save his siblings, standing up to their father, wanting to keep his peace but always choosing to help his siblings no matter how much they hurt him in the past.

He was the only one who felt like the same person as the other season. Even Reggie was a goddamn mess (and thats something to say about that uptight bastard)

Now this part is purely personal. But the plot? The scenes? The entire construction was such a mess.

First of all. 7 years in that station? 7years? Youre telling me that super smart old man Five didnt think to look at those lines first before stepping in that train? You think "I must know everything and enything about everything and anything" Five didnt look up, took a good glance at those letters and knew. "Mhmm. Thats that weird writing my father used. How bout I try to TRANSLATE it BEFORE i step on this mystery train?"

If you think him stepping on a random train, not even looking at the map he picked up is in charcater? Sincerely, quit shitting my dick cuz no way you think that.

And then him giving up on finding his siblings? He was in an apocalypse for what? 50 years? And he always kept the stupid eye, thinking it might save his siblings. And now, here he is, giving up on them cuz he' a lil lost in daddy's train station?

Babes, you cant be serious.

Im aware that this post is very opinionated, and perhaps negative, but thats just how itll be. But if you feel offended by anything here, I do apologise. I love the series aswell, but his season, felt more like a 12 year old' followup story of season 3 (and that is not to say that 12 yo' cant write, cuz some of them r amazing, but you get the idea) and I cant believe they actually funded this.

And that is not to start about the decisions they made. Ben making them drink the marigold? Five not just going back to that moment if he could time travel (which he coulve bcz him and Lila went back to the "present" which is 7 years earlier than when they were stuck). Then stop them from drinking the Sake/Marigold. Merging the marigold with Jennifer and everything is fixed? Bcz they didnt have their powers anymore?

Either way

I might follow up on this, I might not.

But I do hope that some share my opinion, even if many dont.

Bye loves!

[spookberry]

I'm not sure if there is any lore in MH for this, but what's the difference between being born a ghost and dying to become a ghost? Is it sad for people or is it brushed off? Just been thinkin' 'bout Danny with that.

I mean, much like with Danny Phantom, Monster High is a franchise that plays a lot with death but never really says the words. It's a franchise aimed at kids and tweens they're going to make it all as family friendly and sugar coated as they can. The real angsty backstory stuff is only ever mentioned a time or two in the diaries of more obscure dolls, it's not out on full display most the time.

So we just don't really know any of the backstories behind why the ghosts at MH are ghosts most the time. Spectra's is a known mystery, and the only ghosts I know of who are canonically born a ghost are also potentially only Part, ghost? such as Sirena or Operetta.

My personal headcanon/understanding of how death is perceived within in MH is that death is obvi a sad and often traumatizing experience, but its also something that a LOT of monsters, not just ghosts, have experienced. And pretending the real life reasons for why death is never explored aren't there, and instead leaning into the known lore that Monsters tend to hide or attempt to assimilate into human society... I kind of like the idea that death is just something they don't talk about beyond a surface level.

Some monsters are pro talking about it, of course, but that's just not the pop culture presentation of it. Instead much like how none of Veronica Von Bat's movies accurately portray the experience of being part of the Vampire Court,,, the experience of having died and continuing on in some new undead way isn't really explored beyond a surface level message of "embrace you're freaky flaws!"

And to that I'd extrapolate that born ghosts, like Sirena(if she wasnt half mer), or Operetta do experience a sense of otherness from their undead ghost peers.

There's often a push for this sense of unity at Monster High, regardless of one's monster scaritage, you will be accepted. Howerver outside of Monster High...? That's not really how it works.

In terms of Danny's accident though, I think all of the ghouls would be pretty upset on his behalf. But like,,, Ghoulia, Cleo, or Draculaura they'll sympathize, but its not something to dwell on. They've been there too, ya know? Frankie I think flat out would not understand, almost entirely cuz of their age(extra wouldn't understand cuz all that energy and voltage is what brought them To Life, how that would be painful and traumatizing to Danny just... wouldn't compute for them). Monsters like Clawdeen or Abbey? Ya know ones, that aren't immortal or undead in some way, they would see that as pretty horrific.

[sir-sunny]

(Green) thinking about how,,,Nagito isn't the only one who probably goes through small bouts of self reflection and Hajime might have it just as worse. Like, this dude was physically altered by the academy he admired just so they could further their own ideologies and prove they were superior, thus completely erasing an innocent boy from existence and in his place creating a person with no emotion or drive in life other than to exist as a podium. Not only that, Hajime's probably been struggling internally for most of his life, thinking that he doesn't have any worth because he doesn't have a talent and having to put up with his classmates talking about him behind his back like they're jealous but don't have the guts to tell him directly. Like fuck this school PURPOSFULLY CHOSE a vulnerable person because they knew it was easy bait and just. Indirectly killed him

And then of course Junko comes along and makes him even worse and makes him do things that he'll never be able to recover from fully and then erases those memories making him have to relive the reality that he was transformed into a monster that he had no control over-

Like obviously Nagito would be going through a lot of shit post-game but Hajime would probably have entire weeks where he just Dissociates because he forgets who he really is, what his purpose is, why he's here if he has no talent and did so many horrible things, the fact that the events in the Neo World Program made him genuinely believe that Nagito wasn't their friend- so many awful things that he has to live with for the rest of his life. But sometimes he also forgets that he has Nagito, and after everything that happened, he'd never have to consider him an enemy again. All Nagito wants to do now is make sure his friends are happy and that Hajime can remain his friend, even if he himself is terrible at expressing his emotions

They can go on walks, they can watch movies, they can spend time in their own homes talking about stuff they like and how their day has been, they can fit into each other like the kinda puzzle they've been trying to solve their whole lives. Nagito can be there for Hajime because he knows what it feels like for the world to feel like it's against you

(Not a headcanon or an imagine this time I've just been thinking about these two a Lot and genuinely ranting about what Hope's Peak did to Hajime feels like I got a weight off my chest ufheriughrg)

YES IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HAJIME'S TRUAMA AND INNER TURMOIL A LOT LATELY AGFDSJJ

omgomg ok ok i imagine hajime remembers bit and parts of the tragedy. he has no concrete memories but he does recall the feeling of helplessness. the feeling of no control. and recalls fighting for that control, reaching for it, being so close to the surface. but never, ever grasping it

even though he had no control during that time, he blames himself completely. chiaki wouldnt have died, none of his friends would have fallen into despair, and maybe the tragedy wouldnt have happened at all. its all because of him. he hates that he still possesses all of izuru's talents. he doesn't deserve them. theyre not real. the hope instilled in him is artificial. he'd be nothing if it wasnt for that procedure

that's why he works to tirelessly for everyone around the island. he owes them that much. he just wants to make things right. he doesnt deserve to rest. de doesnt deserve sympathy. he doesnt deserve anything--

and that's where nagito comes in. he brings him back down to earth. together, they do simple mundane things. there's no pressure to be something greater or stronger. nagito wants to spend time with hajime and hajime alone. he doesnt ask for the ultimate this or ultimate that. he doesnt want izuru kamukura. he wants hajime

(its hard for hajime to believe. some part of him thinks that the only reason that nagito gives him the time of day, is because of his "ultimate hope" title) but nagito appreciates hajime so much. having him as a friend is one of the reasons he gets out of bed every morning. hajime means everything to him. but he's so scared to let himself get close. he's so scared to tell hajime how he feels. he could never let himself believe that hajime might feel the same way towards him

but he needs to be there for hajime. he sees him hurting and it breaks his heart. hajime needs know how much he means to him

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[thesharondefenseleague]

mlm imo werent sexualized to the degree that wlw were in most canon media mostly because of the male gaze. Gay and Lesbian relationships or moments got very limited representation. One was probably more sympathetic but also heart breaking like say brokeback mountain. One was explicit but depicted as grotesque or twisted or perverted or immoral in some way. And the last version was the titillating version. In western media because of the assumed straight male gaze lesbians making out to titlate guys was a common thing like say in Jennifer's body. The equivalent of that with guys wasnt really that common not in western media. Not that wlw couldn't like that content but it was made to be fanservice for men .

So thats what I kind of mean by wlw were sexualized at least in western media. This equivalent with mlm in fandom never really existed they never made out for girls to find hot in the same way. It was never marketed like oh look hot guys making out. Fandom did that but not canon.

As for comic book men being sexualized kind of. There is definitely the unrealistic beauty standards but theres that debate of was it for the purpose of titillating women? Or a result of toxic masculinity putting this unattainable unsustainable goal for men. Maybe both? But both in comics and the movies they are based on the posing and clothing and moments with women get made to clearly sexualize them . It especially ovbious with comics with them twisting their bodies so their boobs and butts are jutting out. Or like movie moments like Bruce landing in Natasha's clevage. Or angles where you are staring down a female character's shirt or she has a boob window for some contrived reason. Or just reasons to give full page spreads of them in skimpy clothing.

Its rare men get depicted like this or posed like this. And when they do it often stands out because its not the norm. It's something unique. Not true with men. Even in form fitting spandex they are often posed and framed to make to make them look powerful or intelligent or to reveal things about their character.

Again not that men never get sexualized or that fanservice is always bad. Or that its not a concern that men are having these terrible body image issues. But just that for women for the sexualization its so pervasive and constant was my point.

Its just as bad in wlw in canon as it is for women in relationships with men in canon when it comes to that sexualization but i hear so much more about the problems about the wlw ship than the mlw ship. Like to use DC as a example i hear so much about how people sexualized or mishandle harleyivy but compared to that i hear very little about batcat in comparison even though Catwoman is often just as sexualized in that ship.

As for misogyny in shipping wars yes it definetly exists and is a problem as is racism and homophobia. But my issue is mostly that the problem isnt because the main popular ships are mlm. But so often I see the argument framed that way.

Like shipping wars existed between m/w ships and still do today. And they are still often pretty misogynistic towards the woman in the other ship. I don't even have to look at other fandoms I remember Steggy vs Starton getting real ugly.

Mysogny in fandom doesn't uniquely pop up when mlm are the more popular ship. Its often just as bad in fandoms where m/w is the popular ship. But people just bring it up alot more they make it bout valuing the men over the women .

Well i mean that goes both ways you could say its homophobic for valuing the straight ship as better than the gay one or liking it more. But either way its stupid they dont care bout sexism or homophobia only that their ship is more popular.

Thats the sentiment of all ship wars the gender dynamics and racial make up change nothing. Nothing except the bullshit you use for the ship war.

The problem is that people are being homophobic and mysogynistic and racist not just in regards to fictional characters but towards real people just to win a ship war. It comes out so easily. Thats the problem imo.

Mysogny for example i think isnt discussed as much when its a m/w vs m/w ship war or drama because as both ships have women it can't be used to slander the other ship. But when its drama between fans of a m/m and m/w it comes out alot again not because anyone really cares but because now because one ship lacks a woman it can be used as fodder for what people actually care about. Tearing down the other ship.

Again not that mlm fandom doesnt have mysogny. They definetly do. But they aren't mysogynistic because they ship two guys together. Thats not proof they hate women. Having a ship with women isnt proof that you aren't sexist towards women. There might be homophobia in fandoms of mlm ships and mysogny in fandoms of m/w ships.

But in the drama between a m/w and m/m ships that doesn't get brought up because no one cares if that problem can't be used to show that someone only doesn't ship your ship if they are bigoted against it. Who cares about misogyny if your ship is two guys? Who cares about homophobia if your ship is straight?

No one because they cared about the popularity of their ship not the actual issues.

Gonna under under the cut for length again.

This is a lot to read so I'm gonna respond paragraph by paragraph and hope for the best in terms of comprehension.

When it comes to media made about the LGBTQ+ community, you have to keep in mind when it was made, who made it, and who was it made for. And that it's been shown that straight women have had the same reactions to mlm content as straight men to wlw content. QaF was dumbfounded to find that the majority of their audience was straight women when the show's sex scenes were 95% between two or more men and yet that's what they ran with because hey, it got the views. The views of mlm and wlw content in the mainstream media before then was minimized, despite how fucked a lot of the other content could be. If by "most canon media" being directed at the male gaze being summer blockbusters, and more specifically comic book movies, then sure. If we step out of that box, then not really. The film examples you chose are interesting because BB is portrayed exactly how the author of the original short story wrote it which was meant to be heartbreaking since it was a tragic dramatic piece while JB has a woman who wrote and another woman who directed it while purposefully trying to allow to actress to have a level of sexuality without exploiting her as past directors have (also neither of the main characters are lesbians - one is bi, the other I think is straight but maybe questioning?).

The sexualization of wlw in modern western media is definitely a thing. I mean, the first Iron Man film has stewardesses on the private jet pole dancing if I remember correctly. It took until 2016 to stop sexualizing Scarlett in every movie: the changing scene in IM2, the lowered zipper in A1, the ass shot in Cap 2, the boob faceplant in AoU (in your third paragraph, but mentioning it here anyway). It's a joke that you know when a man directs a wlw indie film during the sex scenes. But the mlm equivalent did exist alongside it, and it's what kicked off the century.

Comics and their movies were always for men. The male bodies are male wish fulfilment for their physical appearance. The women are male wish fulfilment for their dream girls. Funnily enough, one of the least sexualized women in comics I've ever read is Sharon. She's rarely, if ever, drawn to be sexualized for the audience. I'm not even sure she's even been in those swimsuit issues Marvel did years ago. And it shows heavily that Marvel struggles to know how to appeal to women without being aggressively in your face about it. The best example of them appealing without pandering is WV, and the worst is the group shots the Russos did in IW and Endgame, especially the latter.

But the men get those poses in the movies too. Thor bathed shirtless for no reason in TDW. There's a scene in Endgame dedicated to talking about Steve's ass. Pratt in GotG. Rudd in Ant-Man. Most actors are expected to look good shirtless and put themselves through intense shit to look that way. So do the women, but they aren't doing it to have the glamor shots of their muscles. And the MCU is not the only film franchise like this. Most, if not all, franchises with majority or entirely male leads expects them all to look like bodybuilders. And I'm gonna take back that it's just for the male audience, because these bodies are meant to appeal to women who are intended to thirst for these actors too. They think these bodies is what will bring women to the theaters.

None of this will change, as you say, that women's sexualization is "constant and pervasive". The film industry is just a part of the larger whole of media. Television and advertising have a treatment of women that's beyond whatever you or I say because there are decades worth of shit to go through that would take dozens of essays worth of writing to fully divulge beyond "please stop it's gross".

Now DC is a whole other ballgame. They're pretty infamous for their artists' sexualization of heroines and villainesses. Harley, Ivy, and Selina are definitely pretty bad, but when I remember what I've seen drawn of Kara, Kori, or sometimes Barbara... But outside of one artist, I think Harley and Ivy as a couple have been drawn tamely. Can't say the same for Selina, because they just can't not draw every part of her body even when she's fully clothed.

I think it's hard not to talk about fandom misogyny outside of m/m ships because of how often popular m/m shippers have rooted their shipping into misogyny. And even with m/f ship wars, a lot of the time the "faulted" character is always the woman when majority of the time it's the man who sucks. I don't get why everyone is fighting for who should kiss Steve because Steve sucks and they'd be better off without him. But because Steve is the object of affection for our fave, we have to fight off everyone else.

Don't look at other fandoms for m/f ship wars. We don't appreciate how tame we were, even at our worst. I'm serious, I've seen so much worse.

I think why the topic of misogyny comes up more with m/m ships is because they follow a similar principle of the male characters being more developed in canon and fanon so it's who people gravitate towards.

There is definitely layers of homophobia in fandom, but there's many versions of how we see it. Homophobes who won't ship anything that's not m/f. Homophobes who ship m/m but won't support IRL rights. People who love m/m but abhor f/f, and vice-versa. The shippers who use them for personal fodder. But the sexism is more prevalent than the homophobia. And the racism way more than both combined.

And it does cause a lot of ammo, and much of it severely unjustified, in ship wars. Literally the bullshit I've seen pulled out of thin air to accuse Sharon of not being worthy because someone said she's a racist for [they literally had no reason just called her one because we said Sam and Sharon are friends because they are] and other nonsense.

The real world repercussions of the homophobia, the sexism, and the racism in fandom... there's just so much. Like we are all still people, and yet we decide because we hide behind screens to be antagonistic, and use homophobic, sexist, and racist shit to attack each other over ships just because we want to paint the other person as crazy, I guess? If you can't see that there are no enemies in ship wars and that the other side is still people, maybe you need to sit out and log off. It's baffling how often it still happens to people. Then it's no longer about ships, it's about who is an asshole.

I will say that Steve and Peggy vs Steve and Sharon is probably the only m/f ship war I've seen where misogyny is talked about. Is, not was, because it still is. Both sides call the others misogynistic. I don't think either side is, but you can see in individuals. Those who tweeted at a certain actress that she was a slut for kissing her costar certainly are though.

You are right that shipping m/m isn't inherently sexist. But tearing down women in those ships to prop up m/m has made me stop shipping certain characters altogether. People, seriously, we don't have to justify why we like them! We can just like them! And other characters can still exist! It's never been that deep.

And you're right, the popularity of the ship helps people ignore any deeper issues within them and this is a power used to silence valid criticism if it pops up.

(I hope I answered everything well for you.)

~Mod R

[vantekay]

valentine ||jhs

word count: 3.2k

estimated reading time: like 10 ish minutes, maybe? I haven’t been timing these sksks I’m sorry I will eventually come back and time it

genre(s): fluff fluff fluff and more fluff also a scene where you stargaze because I’m self indulgent and like every fic of mine that has a date scene includes stargazing sksksk sorry 

warning(s): none 

“throughout all the seasons, in this transition of winter-spring you've been here beside me with the sweet nothings you're whispering”

hoseok has always called you his rock because you kept him grounded whenever he needed it, reminding him in times of hardships that he was more than enough and that those bouts of feeling like he wasn’t enough would pass. he also called you his rock because you had been in his life for as long as he could remember, literally. you had known hoseok since you guys were kids. teeny tiny tots playing together at the daycare your mothers had both decided were good enough to watch you while they were busy. it all started because you, a very shy kid who kept to themselves in the corner, was crying and you immediately caught hoseok’s attention. you had come to find very quickly that he was the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows and everything else that could possibly bring you joy. he had been the only kid to approach you in the daycare since you arrived, and he made it his mission to make you happy. he had introduced himself to you as hobi, and from that day on it was hobi and y/n against the world. as you grew older, you had found that hoseok actually lived in the same neighborhood as you and this led to you and him growing closer as you aged. enter your tween and teen years and you were pretty much bound at the hip, doing anything and everything you could together. you had begun going to the others family gatherings, parties and other special events together and there came a time when both of your families had begun teasing you both about being an item. this would always prompt your cheeks to turn a deep rose color as hoseok denied any chances of getting together with you, claiming you were more like a sister to him. this had hurt you a bit the first few times he had said it, seeing as you had feelings for hoseok that were definitely not brotherly and you had always silently hoped he felt the same but you learned to quickly push those feelings down and laugh along with him whenever family members brought it up. this continued for a couple years until one drunken high school party where you had confessed your feelings for him and, to your surprise, he felt the same. the next day was spent soberly clearing things up and properly confessing, marking the beginning of your new relationship with hoseok. he learned very quickly that you were supportive of him. you always had been, but now that you proudly wore the title of girlfriend it had been enhanced ten fold and it made hoseok's day. whether it was cheering him on at his tennis games or during his swim meets, you never failed to bring a smile to his face when he caught you waving at him from the sidelines, the widest of grins on your face as you showed him how proud you were. you’re praises never stopped on the field though, no, hoseok would hear them the entire way back to your homes, and if you were spending the night at his then you would continue to praise him there too. when he had finished getting ready to relax and you were waiting for him on his bed with open arms, he would happily clamber into bed with you and accept your cuddles, you held him close to your chest as you ran your hand through his hair and continued to talk about how proud you were of him, how amazing he did during the game and so forth, until finally his eyes would flutter closed and the smile on his lips stretched wider.

“you're a lovable, angelic piece of perfect and anything i do for you is worth it times a million and a half”

it should come as no surprise that hoseok loves to do for other people, especially for you. whatever it was you needed him to do he would do it in a heartbeat. you needed a new pair of pants because you spilled coffee on your old ones? hoseok was already on his way to the mall as soon as you told him. you had a really bad day at work and you wanted takeout and a movie night in? hoseok has your favorite takeout place on speed dial and your order memorized and could make it to your apartment in 10 minutes flat with your favorite movie. you were his angel, his world, and he loved doing things for you. hoseok always made it known that you could count on him, constantly telling you that it didn’t matter how busy he was or what he was doing. reminding you that he would always drop whatever it was and help you in any way he could. this made touring a little difficult for him, seeing as how he wouldn’t be able to stop in the middle of a show to help you if you needed him but you knew he would help you as soon as he could. there was one time, however, where in the middle of a show he had gotten a message from your coworker telling him that you had fallen at work and were rushed to the hospital. it wasn’t anything major, just a preemptive trip to make sure you didn’t break any bones from the fall but it was still enough to plant that seed of worry in hoseok. what made this worse was the fact that he was in the middle of a show, in between songs and getting a quick change when he had heard the news from a staff member. they tried to reassure him that you were okay and that you weren’t actually hurt that badly, that your coworker just wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken any bones but it was still enough to drive hoseok mad. he tried to brush it off for the rest of the show and not worry ARMY but you were all he could think about. of course he immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios he could, like you being stuck at the hospital all by yourself because your friend had to leave, or you having broken every bone in your body and having to be put in a full body cast for a couple of months and many other unlikely scenarios. as soon as the show had ended, he rushed off stage to video call you, not even bothering with a text to make sure you were still up. his heart was relieved for a split second when you answered on the second ring, and he didn’t even let you speak before he was already blubbering off his concerns.

“oh god angel I’m glad you answered, I got the text from your coworker saying you were in the hospital as we were in the middle of the show and I was so worried about you. are you okay? did you break anything? do I need to sue your company for the fall? psychological damage that you may have suffered? god baby I’m so sorry I’m not there to sit with you in the hospital right now and- wait, are you at home?” hoseok furrowed his eyebrows and squinted down at his phone screen as you leaned your head back to let out a loud laugh. he backs away from his intense staring with his lips down in a frown and a pout on his face, waiting for you to explain.

“I got out of the hospital like, an hour ago love. it was just a trip to make sure I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t, I just twisted my ankle s’all.” as you spoke you could watch the worry physically drain itself from hobi’s face, his heart shaped smile beginning to form itself on his lips at the thought of you being okay.

“oh thank god, y/n I couldn’t even begin to tell you how worried I was about you, I was starting to wonder if management would let me fly home to see you in case you had been put in a full body cast or something.” now you both laughed, hoseok blushing slightly at how ridiculous he sounded but you assured him that you loved it, loved him for caring so much about you and being ready to do whatever he needed to take care of you. you meant a lot to him, and he would be willing to give you his heart in a split second if you needed it, that’s how much he loved you. 

“cause i love you and i'd like to spend forever in the subtle warmth inside your arms”

hoseok’s favorite thing to do with you has to without a doubt be cuddling. he loves it when you cuddle him or he cuddles you, he doesn’t mind either position as long as he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body and onto his. he loves holding you close, head pressed up against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat while his hand runs through your hair as he talks to you about his day and you talk to him about yours. hoseok always wants to be touching you in some way whether it be hugging or cuddling or holding hands, he always wants to feel your warmth. whenever you go out in public he is holding your hand, if you have to separate for whatever reason he always makes sure you part with a hug and if you guys are just spending time at the dorm or at your apartment you better believe you’re cuddled up on the couch together. hoseok loves it the most when he wakes up with you in his arms, the way you’re always wrapped up in his embrace like you haven’t moved since you fell asleep in the same position. he loves it when it’s raining really heavily and you beg him to sit out in the living room with you, huddled up on the couch with your favorite blanket and a movie on the tv, drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting the glass of your window. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder while gazing at something, whether it be your phone or whatever else may be holding your attention and he just enjoys being close to you, and he never wants to let you go.

“i'll keep on creating for you until my final days, dancing in the living room and smooching while the vinyl plays”

one of hoseok’s favorite memories with you is whenever he had a day off and you insisted on dancing with him, since he would continue to practice even if he was meant to be relaxing. the day usually goes something like this, you begin by sitting in the living room and watching him dance, then he insists on teaching you some of the moves so now you’re up and dancing with him and then eventually you convince him to do some kind of slow dance with you as a cool down from earlier. he would never admit it but he loves it when his days off go like this, getting some practice in and then ending it with you and him slow dancing while your bluetooth speaker plays whatever love song you have in your playlist. he loves holding you by the waist, watching as you lean your head forward on his chest while you dance, hands intertwined and the soft sounds of your breath mingling as you sway together in the living room. hoseok will begin his kiss attacks with simple smooches to you hair, and then gradually makes his way down to your face after you’ve removed it from the warmth of his chest to look up at him. he starts his descent at your forehead, leaving a kiss there before travelling to your nose, and then both cheeks, your chin, the corners of your mouth and then finally landing on your lips. the kiss is always soft and sweet and makes butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t get enough of him which leads into a makeout session. hoseok’s hands grip your waist a little tighter as your hands move to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, not once breaking apart for air. you continue like that for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing kisses under the dim lighting in your living room until hoseok’s stomach begins to growl louder than the music playing in the background and you break apart with a laugh, walking into the kitchen together to prepare a meal.

“cause we can both hear the compliments coming in from these pals of mine and I've been wondering if you would be my valentine”

hoseok remembers back in highschool, when you had just started dating, and valentine’s day approaching faster than he would have liked. he was nervous seeing as it was the first holiday you would be spending together as a couple and he wanted it to be perfect. his friends had encouraged him, telling him they would help him with any planning or preparations he had. what he really wanted to do was take you out for a picnic date at the park you really liked that was a bit of a drive out of town and then watch the stars with you. he tells his friends about his plan in hopes that they will get the hint to leave him alone, but something about the way they smile at him after he’s done speaking tells him otherwise. brushing it off, he waits for you in the school’s parking lot and gets ready to put his plan into action. when you get into his car, he starts to drive towards the location of the park which is on the opposite side of town where you both live. you’re confused, and look over to ask him what he’s doing to which you only get a “you’ll see” out of him. you sit back and enjoy the ride, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. when you arrive at the park the sun has begun its descent and hobi is quick to pull you out of his car and towards the location of the picnic dinner he has had set up for the past few hours. you laugh at his enthusiasm only to be wowed by the location for which he has picked out. the spot he found has a perfect overview of the horizon ahead, and it perfectly shows off the current setting sun and all of the orange pink and purple hues stemming from it. you stand there in awe, mouth hung open as you watch the sun set and hoseok can’t help but take a couple photos of you, some from a few feet behind you showing off both the setting sun and your silhouetted frame. he smiles down at the photos before walking up behind you and wrapping you up in a hug, head placed on your shoulder as he places soft kisses into the crook of your neck. you giggle before attempting to get away from him, claiming that his shows of affection tickle and that you want to eat. he leads you back over to the blanket and begins to pull out the food he had prepared. to your surprise, he pulls out a bunch of fruits and what looks to be kimchi made from scratch. you look up at him in awe while a blush blossoms on his cheeks. he dishes out the servings of food between the two of you before starting to eat, striking up conversation with you about school that day and what plans you had for the weekend. after you both finish eating and the sun has promptly set, he asks you to lay down with him on the blanket to stargaze for a little. it takes you by surprise, seeing as hoseok has never addressed the idea of finding stargazing particularly interesting but you assume that maybe he had seen posts about it on twitter or instagram pertaining to how it was a cute date idea. you lay hand in hand and watch the stars for about an hour before you pack up to go home, the cold air beginning to nip at your skin and creating goosebumps. once you’re back inside his car hoseok pulls out one last surprise gift for you. you assume it’s a ring, considering the box he occupies in his hands is too small to contain a necklace or bracelet and you feel your heartbeat begin to pick up. hoseok smiles before opening the case and showing off a beautiful gold promise ring set, one for you and one for him. he takes the one meant for you out and begins to place it on your ring finger as he speaks softly. 

“I got these because even though we just started dating, we’ve known each other our whole lives and I can’t imagine the rest of my life being with anyone else but you. I want to continue making memories with you and I want to build my future with you, y/n. so I want us to make a promise that we will always be there for each other.” hoseok looks back up from your hand with a smile on his face as he finishes talking and you quickly lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you hobi, I promise.” you extend your pinky finger for him to latch onto and he does so with a small laugh, leaning forward to kiss you again. it isn’t until you hear whooping and hollering from outside that you pull away, looking around quickly to spot the source of the noise. hoseok rolls his eyes and leans his head back until it hits the headrest, promptly bringing his hands up to run down his face with a groan. “I knew they were going to follow us here.” he mumbles before his friends arrive at the driver’s side window, smirks plastered on their faces as they show hoseok a big thumbs up. when he turns to unlock the door their expressions all drop, quickly running off into the direction of their own cars in order to escape hoseok’s wrath. you laugh from the passenger's seat as you watch him chase his friends around the parking lot, yelling about how they “need to respect his privacy” and “can’t you guys get your own girlfriend instead of living vicariously through me?!” 

when he finally gets them to leave and has returned to his spot behind the wheel he turns to apologize to you, “as you can see, they were very excited for our valentines plans, and they wanted to see if you would turn me down or something I’m not too sure what they were expecting.” but all you can do is laugh some more and tell him that you didn’t mind, that you thought it was cute his friends wanted to see how things would turn out, and maybe they would finally listen to hobi and stop living as though you were their girlfriend as well.

[faangirl101]

Like i would/ Dylan o’brien x reader

Pairing: Dylan obrien x reader

Summery: Song imagine of the song Like i would by Zayn. You met Dylan, your ex boyfriend, after 5 years. All old feeling come back. But can everything go back to the way it used to be.

Warnings: Violence, swearing, rape attempt, dirty talk/thoughts. Like really dirty.  And sorry for typos

Hey, what's up? It's been a while

Talking 'bout it's not my style Thought I'd see what's up While I'm lighting up It's cold-hearted, cold-hearted

                                              Dylans pov

That's when i saw her. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail before curling down her back, bouncing at her every step. Her skin was glowing natural and her plush lips covered in a small layer of red. A old jeans jacket was supported on her shoulders over a star wars t-shirt. A couple of out washed ripped jeans reached her ankles where she had a couple of dirty vans on. She was gorgeous. Just… absolutely gorgeous. My whole body was suddenly vibrating of adrenaline and i regret not taking my adderall today. 

I felt a little dizzy. All our memories hit me like a truck and made my knees weak. I haven't seen her in 5 years. Y/n looked better than ever. Mature, yes, very mature. Her body was a woman's now. Her jeans hugging her curves just right and her t-shirt giving me a perfect view of her cleavage. Her breast seemed so much more swollen and just like her hair bounced every now and then. I had to look away when i felt the familiar twitch in my pants. I'm a grown man, for god's sake, i can't get a random boner in the middle of the supermarket because i see a old girlfriend.

 Especially after how me and y/n ended things, i just can't. I can't even look at her without feeling guilty over everything i did. I shook my head for myself and coughed. I reached for the milk in front of me when my hand connected with someone else. “Oh, i'm sorry you can take it i can take….. another”, i started of but then i saw the other person. Of course it had to be her. Her eyes locked with mine and they were filled with nostalgia and something else…. sadness? I gulped nervously and smiled to her. She smiled back wider when i gave her the milk. “Dylan, umm hi”, she put the milk in her cart and meet my eyes again. I can't believe that i haven't thought about her in a whole year. “Hey y/n”, i tried to sound as positive as i could but my heart felt heavy. “You look good”, she said and gave me an honest smile that made my heart skip a beat. “Yeah… you to.. you look grown, i barely recognized you. You look amazing”, i sounded breathless and cursed for myself. Of course i had to fuck up and sound like a retard. But she smiled, showing of her white glistening teeth “Yeah, thank you. How is life treating you”.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and scratched the back of my neck “good i guess. I'm an kind of known actor now now so you could say life been treating me good”. I tried to sound chill about it but when i think about it it sounded cocky. “That's great Dyl, you always wanted to become an actor i'm so proud of you. I'm a nurse, soon a doctor so i would say life been good!”, she fiddled with her hands and licked her lips. I couldn't help but to let my eyes follow the movement of her tongue and the familiar twitch was back. I felt like a horny teenager all over again.  “Hey y/n”, i felt like i had to say it “i feel really bad about how we ended things i just feel like you deserved more than me”.

The sadness in her eyes were back and she looked back to me “yeah, you deserved better than me to. I think about us sometimes, about what could have happened if everything would have gone less bad that night. If we would still be… at least friends”. I nodded since she pretty much said everything i was thinking. She looked behind her shoulder and i followed her eyes and saw who she was looking at. A tall man with dark hair and a black hoodie looked back at her and smiled. I felt my entire stomach pull itself together. Of course she had a boyfriend. I can't believe i thought else, she's gorgeous and nice and funny. 

And it's not really my place to decide whatever she's single or not. And i have a girlfriend so i really shouldn't even think about it. But my body was still filled with jealousy. “I have to go”, she muttered and before any of us could react she pulled me into a hug. Her body was soft and warm against mine. I could smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair. I sighed and relaxed into the hug. And just like the hug started it ended as fast. “Bye Dylan, it was nice to meet you again.

And then she left. She left and the hole in my heart was back and all the guilt i felt 5 years ago was back and pumping in my veins. I really wish things didn't end the way they did.

Know it's late but I'm so wired Saw your face and got inspired Guess you let it go, now you're good to go It's cold-hearted, cold-hearted

                             Your pov

I saw Dylan yesterday. After all this years all the things i felt were still there. I saw his face in and my heart was split into two again. And it didn't really help over how gorgeous he looked. HIs hair was messy under his Mets cap but i could still see it. His chin was covered in a light stubble and eyes the same whiskey color i loved 5 year ago. He was taller then i remembered, and definitely not as ripped. I could practically see his muscles sticking out under his t-shirt. The moment i came home with Peter i dropped everything to google him.

 He didnt lie when he said he was a well known actor. He had a big following and a great amount of movies. I binge watched them all yesterday and then just sat there with a hole in my heart. Even after we left everything 5 years ago i still loved him so much my entire body hurt. With shaking fingers i looked at his social media accounts. I saw on facebook he chosen in a relationship. 

Of course he had a girlfriend. He was absolutely the most nice and pure person i knew. And not to mention fucking gorgeous. Then i looked at his twitter. Should i? maybe i shouldn't…. I mean we used to date but now we have no connection. I took a deep breath and decided. I'm going to message him. What's the worse thing that could happen? with a beating heart i wrote to him in the private message on twitter.

Hey dyl, it was good to see you. I'm once again sorry how it all ended. Just wanna make sure we  good?

It may have sound better in my head, a lot better. I sighed and put my phone down to sleep. Peter moved next to me. Sure he was great and all, but he wasnt Dylan. i have never thought that way until now. But now its all… different. I groaned and cuddled down next to him. I was crazy. That's all, just fucking crazy.

He won't touch you like I do He won't love you like I would He don't know your body He don't do you right He won't love you like I would Love you like I would, like I would

                                                Dylans pov

Me and y/n as been messaging. Sure i wasn't really doing anything wrong but it still felt like i was going behind Britts back. It was just innocent messaging between old friends, right? Yeah, she might have been my ex but we were friends a long time before we started dating. I miss that. I miss our friendship. We should have never started dating, we should just have stayed friends.

 I never told Britt about dating Y/n, just that we used to be friends. I feel like i don't need her to feel pity for me or to make me feel even more guilty over what happened. I love Britt, i really do, but its just something about y/n that makes my entire body go numb.

I miss her, i really can't deny that.

“Who are you messaging?”, Britt asked and i looked up from my phone to her.

The guilty feeling was back, growing in the depths of my abandon.

“You remember how i told you about y/n? The old friend that kind of drifted apart from me? well i meet her in the store yesterday and we started talking again”, i didn't really lie i just left out some of the truth. She nodded and smiled “That's great baby, i know how much you miss her as your friend”.

I nodded and looked back at my phone “ahh shit. I have to get to the hotel now if i'm going to make it to the interviews. See you later baby”. I gave her a small peck and went to get my belongings.  Britt was a great girlfriend, it was easier to date another actor since we both are pretty busy with work and respect each other for that. But we have never been the PDA couple really, it's mostly because we have so much history together.

I knew me and y/n was never getting back together and i would like her to know that to be sure. But you can still dream, right?

And when i saw all the pictures with her boyfriend, what was his name.. Peter?, i just couldn't help feeling jealous. It just made my blood boil when i thought about him touching her body, making her feel good. About him holding her close and loving her like i used to. I tighten my knuckles and wrist, and press my fingernails inside the inside of my hand till it leaves wounds.

I was the one supposed to love her and hold her. I was supposed to make her cum and cum and cum over and over again. I just knew he didn't love her the way i could. And i simply didn't say that because i meant to be cocky. I genuinely think i'm better at loving her in every way. But i'm not going to convince her to leave him, you're not that guy Dyl. Your not that douche guy. But when i saw her in those jeans i just wanted to eat her out and fuck her into obvioulsen in front of that.. peter guy. I hated him with passion even if i haven't even met him. 

And ever since yesterday when i saw her in that star wars shirt with her perfect swollen round breast i just wanted… i just wanted to drive my cock in between them and cum on her face. Just mark her as mine. And as possessive as that sounded i had to remind myself over and over that she was not mine and that she was not an object. But still i couldn't stop thinking about her painted white in my cum, swallowing it like the good girl she is. I felt my dick straining against my jeans. I put my hands over my crotch and cursed for myself. I was in a god damn cab with my cab driver. I couldn't get a erection here? I had to think about something of turning like… my grandma and kittens.

But no matter what i thought about my mind kept going back to her in my lap, riding me with only my name on her lips. Not some guys named Peter. What kind of name was that anyway? who was even named peter nowadays? what, was his parents a fan of spiderman or what?

I was a fan of spiderman and i wouldnt name my son Peter.

I was grumpy today. Like a old man, just because i couldn't have her. It was stupid really but i just knew she was mine. She was meant to be mine. I needed to have her i just couldn't get her. I bit my lip hard and looked outside the window. I needed to get my head in the right places. i had a interview coming up and i couldn't be sitting there with a boner for my ex girlfriend.

Oh, oh It's probably gonna sound wrong Promise it won't last long Oh, oh If we can never go back Thought you'd like to know that

                                                        Your pov

“You been messaging an old boyfriend?!”, Peter shouted at me as i kept backing up against a wall. “Look its not what you think, Pete. He's honestly just a friend i would never cheat behind your back”, i muttered and held my hands up in surrender. Somehow i got myself in the situation where Peter found out about Dylan and i having contact. And well what can i say, he didn't exactly like it.

“Your just friends, huh”, Peter rolled his eyes pursed his lips together “i saw you yesterday in the store, pressing each other bodies together right in front of me. I saw the look he gave you, he practically eye-fucked you. And then your press your breast against him and message him the day after. Your not just friends, he might as well fuck you in front of me. And then soon your are of to smear your bloody lipstick all over his cock, talking all about being bffs and shit”.

He was really mad. His voice loud and ecoching high enough for the neighbours to hear. I felt my heart beating hard in my chest. I don't know if it was from being angry or scared. But i was not going down that easy without a fight. “What the actual fuck are you talking about Peter. We Are simply just old friends, what? I'm not allowed to have fucking friends?”, i shouted and he took a threatening step closer to me.He laughed mockingly  “Seriously, of course you're allowed to have friends but not friends with benefits. I'm not stupid i know what shit you've probably been messaging about”. I rolled my eyes dramatically “Clearly you're fucking stupid since me and Dylan aren't fucking, and were not going to in the near future. So if you could stop being a immature little ass that would be great”. I was done with this fight. Now he was just being ridiculous.

His knuckled was turning white and his jaw was tense. He cracked his neck and meet my eyes with a cold look. “Look Peter. Since your not going to apologize i'm going to stay at Jennas. If you are over this crap tomorrow you can call me and say your sorry, But i'm leaving now”, I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder. Just when i opened the front door and was about to leave he grabbed me. His grip was hard and he pulled me backwards furiously and made me lose my footing. I stumbled back to balance and looked at him with big eyes. “Don't fucking touch me ever again”,

 I felt my heart skipping beat after beat and. His other hand slammed the door closed and i jumped at the sudden loud sound. With a strength, much more intense than mine, he pressed me up against the door. my back hit the material hard leaving me out of breath. It was hard enough to bruise and the small layer of clothes i had on wouldnt protect me.

I've never been so scared of Peter as i was now. I knew he had a lot of temper but i never thought it would be this intense. “I know your off to meet him, to let him bang you and then come crawling back to me like the little whore you are. But guess what? You're staying here. And i'm going to fuck you so hard you forget all about that stupid ex boyfriend”, He shouted and i could feel his spit hitting my face. He harshly grabbed my wrist with one hand and pinned them hard over my head. With his other hand he started to unbutton my pants. I started moving in his grip, trying to kick him of me. I felt tears threatening behind my eyes. I was definitely breaking up with him.

 “Get off me!”, I screamed and tried to escaped his grip. He only pressed harder and pulled down my pants. “Could you stop moving, you little bitch”, he huffed and ripped of my shirt. His eyes were hungry and there was something with him, i barely recognized him. I collected a big lump och saliva in my mouth before taking time to spit it in his face. It met his left eyebrow and slided down the side of his face. “You fucking cunt!”, he screamed and before i could grab onto reality and get what's happening his fist connected with my face. The shock were bigger than the pain. The blood under my left cheek pulsated and i could feel the bone cracking in my nose. The pain was so intense i wouldn't be able to point were it was since it was covering my entire face. I felt drool dripping down my chin but my jaw hurt so much i couldn't close my mouth. Warm thick liquid made its path from my nose and into my mouth. It tasted iron. It was blood. 

Peter hit me. I couldn't believe it. He actually hit me. And it hurt as much as the betrayal. “Thats right, now your going to suck my cock you little fucking whore”, His hand was placed on my head and began pushing me downwards. I tried to escaped but he gripped my ponytail only to press me down harder. My left hand began wandering down my bag. While the other one got ready to fight him of. All i needed was to distract him. I know i have it somewhere in this bag, i must have.

Bingo. I form my hand into a fist and let my knuckles connect with his crotch. The second he bend over, covering his crotch with his hand i get up on shaky legs and grab onto the hairspray. “fuck you, peter”, I shouted with a dry sluddery voice and sprayed a great amount of hairspray onto his face. He screamed out in pain and his hand went from his crotch to his face. He depsertly rubbed his eyes. In pure hatred I kicked his kneecap, making him fall over. I had to get out of here. Now. I slung the bag over my shoulder and didnt even care about getting a new shirt. I just buttoned up my pants and slammed the door behind me. I needed help. And in the moment there was only one person i needed.

He can't love you like I would He can't love you like I could He don't know your body He don't know your body

                             Dylans pov

I looked up when i heard the doorbell. Confused i got up and put away my computer. Almost no one knew about were i was staying, thomas maybe. It was probably just Thomas, coming to annoy me. I still smirked and got over to the door. “Like seriously Thomas can't you make 10 minutes without me…..”, i stopped mid sentence when i realized it wasn't Thomas. It was y/n.

And she was bruised, her face swollen and the area around her eye red and turning blue. Blood was spread around her nose to her top lip. Her lips were chapped. She was crying, sobs breaking her posture as she collapsed into my arms. I grabbed onto her and fought every urge to fall over. “Jesus, y/n, what the hell happened”, i muttered and dragged her as good as i could inside my hotel room. It seemed like she was too broken to form words as she just shuddered nonsense and cried more.

 “Shit”, i mumbled and placed her fragile body on my bed, where she collapsed. I closed the door and went back to the bed. “Y/n, sweetie do you hear me”, i ask as softly as i could and went to get a first aid kit and some ice. She nodded as good as she could and reached up to touch her cheek. She hissed in pain when her fingers connected with her nose.

“No, no, no stop. Let me take care of you. Let me know what happened”, i said softly and pick up a wet towel. Seeing her like this makes my whole body catch on fire. Someone did this to her. I was going to kill that someone. Trust me it's not going to me pretty when i find out who it is. Slowly i dab the wet towel over her cheek and bit my lip when she groan in pain. I hushed her and wiped away her tears and stroked her cheek. “Who did this to you”, i whisper barely hearable and start to dab away the blood next to her nose. She mouthed something and everything that leaves her mouth is unrecognizable sounds. “I can't hear you, y/n”, i say and put down the towel, all eyes on her. “Peter”, she whisper. In that moment i barely regonize myself. 

I feel so much anger i'm shaking. My vision becomes blurry and i swear i see red. He hurt her. He put his hands on her. He put his hands on my girl. “I'm going to kill him”, i say, mostly for myself. She grabs onto my arm for dear life. “Please dont leave me”, she sobs and my heart stings at the sight. “Of course not, baby”, the nickname falls out of my mouth without really thinking about it.

 I stroke her hair and kiss her forhead. “Tomorrow we go to the police okay, i'm staying with you. You dont have to go through this alone”, i take out the ice and place it in her hand. With her entire body shaking she place the ice on her face, sighning at the cold feel. “Its going to be alright, baby, everything is fine”, i mumbled. Suddenly she crawls into my lap an hug med tightly, ice still on her face. In pure shook i dont do anything. With Britt out of my head i wrap my arm around her carefully and stroke her back. She was not going through this alone. I'm going to make sure of that.

Because i loved her.

Not since i met her yesterday but since we left each other 5 years ago.

But that was all behind us now, because i loved her.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine getting trapped in an elevator with Dean, your new neighbor.

“What was that?” your breath got caught in your throat and your eyes widened as the lights flickered and the elevator came to a halt “We're not on our floor yet, are we?” you mumbled taking a look to see that you somewhere between the second and third floor. If you were alone in the elevator you would have freaked out even worse but the fact that there was a man next to you, you felt less scared. Maybe things weren't as bad as you thought and at least you weren't alone.

“Doesn't seem like that to me.” the man mumbled, taking a look himself. He extended a hand and pressed on the right button but it didn't do a thing.

“What- what is going on?” you struggled to swallow properly and Dean noticed.

“I dont want to scare you but- we seem to be stuck.” he sighed, running a hand down his face and you almost felt your heart drop.

“No, no we can't be stuck. We- we can't. It's- we're not-” his words seemed to make things worse as your knees started shaking and they almost gave away. You were sure you would have found the floor if it wasnt for a pair of strong hands gripping you and holding you.

“Whoa whoa, easy. Take it easy.” his voice was rough but somehow soothing enough. You looked up to meet a pair of green eyes that you could get lost in if you stared at for any longer but at the moment you were too scared to care.

“It's ok, it's going to be alright.” he said, rubbing yoru arm with his hand “We're going to be alright.” you tried to give him a nod but you were too frozen with fear, and you had to thank you best friend for all the movies you had seen the previous days that gave you plenty of ideas on how you could die in this small place.

“How do you know that?” you asked in a low voice, almost squeaky and and scared. Yeah, not almost really.

“Well, if it was my brother here, he'd say because I am a smartass that claims to know it all when he is the nerd really but-” he chuckled and without realizing it a small smile lifted at the corners of your lips. His laugh seemed contagious and when he saw you relax he grinned that boyish smile that made your knees even weaker.

You knew you were getting distracted but at the moment you needed it and if it was by your gorgeous stranger you were willing to take it. You had not noticed It before but truth was that he was really handsome. Strong jaw, full lips and dirty bold hair that you were tempted to run your fingers through. He had broad shoulders that were covered by a flannel that just looked so soft and you couldn't help but wonder what really lay under that shirt and- boy you were getting distracted. And this really wasn't the most ideal situation.

“Hey” he said softly although his voice was rough “Relax, alright? It's going to be fine, there must have been a malfunction. They will notice that the lift is not working and they'll call someone yeah?”

“Do we- do we not have any reception here?” you asked in a whisper, your voice shaking.

“Wish I could check beautiful, but my phone is dead. What about yours?” he asked and you shook your head, wrapping your arms around your waist.

“Forgot it at a friend's.” you mumbled and he sighed.

“It's ok, doesn't matter.” he tried not to show how disappointed he was... for your sake? And to think that with those looks you'd take him for a jerk that didn't care bout anything and anyone.

“Yeah, I guess.” you mumbled, trying to swallow but your throat was just too dry.

“Hey, I told you it's going to be alright. You don't have to worry about this we-”

“But what if we get stuck in here? Who knows when they're going to realize it's not working? What if- if it gives out any moment and we fall and- and we-” your lower lip trembled but he shook his head, squeezing your arms.

“No, no. don't think like that. It's going to be fine, yeah? I've been in worse situations and made it. You'll see in the end you will be just laughing about it.” he tried to offer you a smile but sadly you couldn't return it this time.

“What kind of worse situations?” you whispered an he raised an eyebrow.

“Do you really want to know?”

“I only want to forget about the fact that we're who knows how many feet off the ground and literally hanging by a thread.” you swallowed the lump in his throat and letting out a sigh he nodded his head.

“Fair enough.”

~*~

“Wow that... was really messed up.” you mumbled, hugging your knees to yourself and he nodded his head.

“So you feel any better?”

“Somehow yeah.” you blinked “How have you survived all of this?” you raised an eyebrow and he chuckled.

“Well, it's not as if I was bound to die but- you know, it comes with the job...” he trailed off, frowning and you turned your head to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

You were both sitting on the floor, much more relaxed at the moment with your backs resting on one of the sides of the elevator. Minutes seemed to drag by so slow at first but when you got to talk more with him the more you relaxed and forgot your situation, the time passing by fast.

“What?” you asked and he laughed, shaking his head.

“I really am not myself lately.” he chuckled “My name's Dean.” he gave you that boyish grin, extending his hand “Do you ever give your name to strangers while trapped in an elevator or not?” he smirked and you giggled, shaking your head.

“My name's (Y/n), nice to meet you Dean.” you shook his hand, for a moment enjoying how soft it felt against yours and you couldn't help but feel a blush on your cheeks when you saw the smile on his face when you said his name.

“(Y/n)” you felt your heart skip a beat at how nice your name sounded on his lips “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

“So I'm guessing, as your brother would say, you're the ladies man huh?” you asked with a smile and he chuckled.

“Yeah, sort of. I mean I was, many things have changed over the years but- I am not saying I can't flirt when I see something I like.”

“So you flirt with... pie too? Because sometimes I really think about doing so.” you said and he laughed, throwing his head back and you got a little too carried away looking at him.

“Well, I actually meant a gorgeous woman like you but yeah- pie sometimes too!”

“Thanks for the compliment but I think the lack of fresh air must have really affected you.” you chewed on your lower lip, looking down at your hands but noticed him shake his head.

“Sweetheart don't tempt me.” he gave you a flirty smirk “I can think of so many ways I can prove you wrong on that only in this elevator.” he winked as your eyebrows shot up.

“Alright-” you raised your hands “I am not going to keep insisting.” you chuckled and he grinned.

“I mean not that we wouldn't have fun with that-” he shrugged laughing at yur wide eyes and red face.

“Gosh” you shook your head “If you're trying to distract me from everything that's going on you're doing a really good job.” you chuckled and he grinned.

“Thanks but I wasn't really going for that.”

“Really?” you asked in a softer voice “And what could it be? Asking me out?” you laughed, saying playfully but when you didn't hear him chuckle you couldn't help but stare at him. He wasn't serious, was he?

“That surprised? I mean, I was pretty damn surprised to see I got stuck in a lift with someone like you but hey- I am not questioning my luck!” he shrugged and you shook your head.

“Are you really going to keep insisting?”

“Till we're outta here, sweetheart.” he winked “But honestly now- I am not joking, just so you know it.”

“Thanks I guess.” you tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear “Been too fucking long since I last got a compliment and it feels weird as hell to be honest.” you confessed and what you saw on his face was only a soft smile.

“Their loss.” he shrugged “You don't find women like you easily.”

“I'm nothing special, Dean.”

“That I get to decide, and if you ask me you are the most interesting one I've met in a long while. And I've been with plenty of women in my life.”

“That I am most sure about.” you chuckled, eyes casting down for a moment “Tell me do you flirt this much with all women?” you asked but he shook his head.

“No, I told you. Lately I've become more serious, probably comes with age as Sammy- my younger brother would say.” he said but you shook your head at him “But I'm not the kind of guy I really look like, (Y/n). To answer your question: it's partially because you are stunning and partially because I guess this is my way of dealing with hard situations.” he shrugged and you instantly found yourself intrigued once more. Not that you ever stopped really.

“Joking.” you nodded your head “Yeah I can understand what you mean. Sometimes showing our feelings is harder than bottling them up.”

“Been through that?” he asked in a low voice, all seriousness.

“Yeah, and the fact that my entire family was around me the whole time didn't help. Do you ever feel like you've always been an outcast? Like wherever you went you still didn't fit in even if you tried?”

“Yeah, yeah I have.” he sighed heavily and silence fell between the two of you.

You cleared your throat, putting on a smile to make him relax preferring to see his playful side because you just believed he didn't get to be like that very often and he actually deserved it “But- I didn't ask you Dean: why were you going to my floor? I'm sorry but as far as I know there is only one apartment other than mine in that floor and it's empty. Unless there is some hot chick's ghost there, what would you want?” you laughed and he did the same.

“Although that would sound tempting- I'm more into the living ones and as of now one that is sitting right next to me.” he grinned and you rolled your eyes, scoffing but still smiling “But I think I'll have the time to convince you on that.”

“Time?” you asked “Now you want us to stay in here for much longer?”

“Oh I wasn't talking about the elevator...” he trailed off and you frowned, something going though your mind “Neighbor”

[recordedscratch-blog]

4,6,14

oh dope a response to the question thing n shit thats cool

it waaaaas for my fav band my future piercing n the last time i cried

soooo uh i think the last time i garbled upon the subject i was fuckin spurtin like crazy bout milo who is still fuckin like

legit to the heart n core of my soul not even kiddin hes like my musical spirit animal

buuut since goin juts about him twice is redundant ill just go fuckin crazy over soomeone else for a tick

iiiid say probably aesop rock

i fuckin went bananas over him before when i found out that he skated despite him saying that he could in “lotta years” but like knowing that he can still pull off impossibles is slick so i got hype off that anyways

but hes legit for real his instrumentals are absolutely fuckin excellent on their own but his bars are worth their gold on their own since usually they are just drippin with some kind of meanin

he just has a great way of wording shit man the way that he can be so fantastical with his lyrics is absolutely inspiring

there was even a study that compared rappers and their word diversity and aesop was so above fucking EVERYONE that his result wasnt even properly represented in the graph because youd have to expand the whole thing at the cost of space to the other rappers so hes just stuck at the end like outlier georg

i mean hes outpreforming a high number of major players like drake n mf doom n the ENTIRE WUTANG CLAN PUT TOGETHER its fucking outrageous

you can find the chart here https://pudding.cool/2017/02/vocabulary/ hes just so fucking dope

in terms of piercings id like to say either on my fuckin butt or something or like lobe and industrial bars cuz those are cool n shit

i wanted to get like a tongue stud for a while but then i heard its super easy to idly chew on those things and fuck up your teeth something real good which sounds exactly like something id so nah lmao

i can see myself swallowing em by accident too and id probably like cut up my insides and then die like a big old idiot

the doctor will look over my corpse and point and laugh and be like hahaha what the fuck this isnt even a thing that fucking happens what a loser

anyways the crying one uhhhh

[ PRIVATE ]

k so like i normally fuckin hate sharin this shit cuz its a bit too much

since shit doesnt matter to other people and all bein fuckin open bout it does is like

make rando people worried about me n shit?? n i dont wanna do that cuz it feels like im just jumping people with my bullshit n forcing them to feel bad

n then it becomes a fucking assblast festival in my honor and name and people will put down hard pity about it and bother me bout it like they know my shit

some rando fuckin internet strangers actin as my moral compass as if i asked

as if im this idiot puppy dog who needs to be pitied and babied and guided cuz boohoo he feels bad

even talkin bout it openly is essentially a call for attention and i aint no pussy

but my therapist be tellin me i need tbe more open more so ill spill this shit i guess

by the way if you copy paste this shit or put it somewhere or fucking do anything with what im spittin i will fuckin hunt you down and expose you like the piece of shit pussy coward you are

i dont even give a fuck if you pass me on this i will fight to put down your ass n get your ass tossed off your job or some shit

but uh

yeah anyways

last time i cried was like a few weeks ago cuz like i was at work n it was a tuesday and since jack shit happens on tuesdays right

cept the only thing was some new album was coming out that day but thats chill

but some fucker came in with this huge trade in and is making me go through his dead granddads music movie collection of 100+ which is horrible but fuckin FINE whatever

i end up having to juggle this transaction with people trying to buy said album and calling to ask if i have said album which stressed me out like fuck cuz this trade in guy was a bit of a fucking grunch when i had to do other things that werent his thing because “he was there first” but other people would get grunchy when theyd get ignored or put aside for trade in guy because it “they deserve just as much attention as the next customer”

or theyd be forced to wait a good bit because im busy with something else

not like everyone was like that but one person is enough to ruin the mood right

anyways that wasnt the thing that really set me off to cry

well not directly anyways

in foresight i could have just said bad work day and not give an essay bout my horsecrap but i already typed it all out so fuck it you asked

it was just a bad day and there was a lot of moments that made me feel stupid and i just really hate feeling stupid

so anyway i finished my shift n finished up and just rushed off to the employees bathroom since it was the closest secluded place n i just needed a fuckin moment to just

destress i guess

enclosed spaces make me comfortable i guess idk

so im just on the toliet lid down holding my head in my hands holding the weight with my elbows on my knees and im just

getting more and more upset

like ill think about a mistake ive made that day then ill think about a worse mistake ive made in the past and get upset more

then ill get upset at myself at me holding those past grudges and get upset how i cant just let go of shit all together

and then ill get upset about getting upset about this SAME issue AGAIN and it just keeps looping through it over and over again like feedback between a microphone and a speaker

which is so infuriating because i KNOW that its happening all over again but i cant stop being a just

huge pussy and crying about it

so uh yeah i cried all like that and it was pretty awful

[ PRIVATE END ]

fuckin stubbed my toe haha it sucked

[gulescamisade]

MN, Ground:  Day 27

DAVE: -Jesus Christ they're finally here. it's been a long time but motherfuckers he is coming HOME because of that cheesy bullshit that is home being where the people you care about are. He's slow to get his feet on the ground, taking in the scenery first, before following the others up to the house-

ARADIA: -they're here...-

DIRK: -everyone get the fuck out of the way. dirk is here to greet everyone, but especially family... which right now means dave so hello dave you're gonna get a brother hug... he doesn't really know the extend of the damage done to him so he doesn't know how to be MINDFUL OF IT...-

DAVE: -it's a relief seeing dirk alive and okay, but he doesn't have a lot of time to process it with the hug he's given and the way it gives him such a sharp pain. He grits his teeth, patting dirk on the back and wincing while in this brother hug- LOOSER NOT SO TIGHT

DIRK: Oh fuck-- Sorry. -LOOSENS HIS STRONG GRIP-

DAVE: -YA TOO STRONG YA ASSHOLE- its cool its like a love back break i get it we just gotta respect the property of my spine

DAVE: anyway sup

MITUNA: -Hops down as well, everyone is here wow look at this brotherly bonding. Gay-

MEULIN: -She ALMOST tackled Dave, but instead she's here to try to nuzzle between Strider tiddies.-

MEULIN: -Just. Right there in that hug.-

DIRK: You-- Oh. Hello there.

DAVE: -thank you Meulin for being thoughtful- also hey meu I dont think you can even see my lips moving right now but the sentiment is there

MEULIN: (^・ω・^ )

MITUNA: ehehehe

MEULIN: PRR PRR.

ARADIA: -watching from the roof-

RUFIOH: -also watching from the roof...-

MITUNA: -He's gonna inside. Pauses to wave at Aradia-

HESONY: =just hanging out with the dragonfly, dont mind him=

ERIDAN: -gazing from inside the ice cream truck in his stupid ice cream man geddup. The things he had to do to get everyone here on time... Horrendous. https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-12/2/15/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-22416-1417551805-3.jpg -

DIRK: -nuzzles meulin's hair a little...- She's got cool shades that transcribe everything around her. I wonder who got her those.

ARADIA: -hops down to greet more properly. mituna first- hows your arm or lack thereof

MEULIN: (○｀ω´○)

DAVENFORTH: -Climbs out the back of the ice cream truck, bandaged and wearing his own shades again. Walks over to the nephew cat sandwich- Aint yall just adorable

DAVE: some anime asshole probably -fuck it's just nice to be with his brother again-

MITUNA: oh i75 how youd 7hink i7d go my balance i5 fucked

QIRIN: =just....eyeballing the Alaska group. What the shit happened to all of you?!=

KURLOZ: =Get over it, he's just going to get out and walk right into the cabin/house. He doesn't know you hos=

DAVE: -he can't help but smile a little at his uncle- yo uncle dave nice job wreckin the presidents -from this angle no one can see the scar on his neck and he is thankful for that-

MINDFANG: -What Didnt happen. Also shes standing near the dragonfly too, eyeing Hesony. Hes had it real good for a while.-

HESONY: =Hello Mindfang, he sees you looking, but the fight in him has pretty much died. They kept their promise.=

MINDFANG: -They sure did, and now there is no real reason to keep them around so she is just pondering that.-

ARADIA: yeah i figured ARADIA: -pauses and then just lightly and carefully hugs him- welcome back

KARKAT: =Is also out and about somewhere but he knows you hoes. At least everyone else didn't go through hell=

RILEY: -EVERYBODY MOVE THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY-

DAVENFORTH: -It's okay, you can't see the scar on his eye. His face, his beautiful face.- Thanks but ro did the part that wasnt getting my ass kicked you should congratulate her

DAVENFORTH: You look like you went through some shit

DIRK: -lucky bastards, everyone can see HIS scar..-

DIRK: -smiles a little at brunc, but oh fuck here she comes... the mom-

ROXANNE: -Shes getting out of the truck after Derek and Riley, she wasnt going to be in the way of that, no sir.-

DEREK: -LEAPS AFTER RILEY-

DEREK: -JET NOISES-

DAVENFORTH: -Observes-

RILEY: -she's running at them and nearly collides into the boys and meulin consequently, wrapping her arms around their shoulders- OH THANK FUCK.

MITUNA: -A hug is probably the nicest thing he's had in a week. He loops his good arm around Aradia and squeezes and rests his chin on her head.- 7hank5 arayray

DIRK: -starting to get emotional... with his parents and his brother and his uncle and his cat all right here...-

DAVENFORTH: -Gets sad about his cat-

RILEY: -they're getting smooches on the head- my babies.

DAVE: -he winces a little at the first collision but he's okay and WOW WAY TO BE EMBARRASSING MOM- hey

ERIDAN: -disgusting... this clan of humans in their natural habitat... how do you tell them apart. Eridan fears for himself.-

ARADIA: you get to actually rest for a little while now

ROXANNE: -Eridan dont be a downer.-

MITUNA: yeah righ7 7he 5creamy a55hole5 ate back

ERIDAN: -He's always a downer. And eating a dreamsicle in the ice cream truck.-

ARADIA: who karkat

ARADIA: we have a lot of screamy assholes mituna

MITUNA: he ha5n7 been 7ha7 bad ac7ually i mean7 um i mean7 7he dead one5

ROXANNE: -WELL DONT BE.-

ROXANNE: -Also enough of watching the striders reunite, as cute as that is, shes going into the house on a quest to find her own daughter, where is rose where are you hiding her.-

DEREK: -places a hand on dave's shoulder during all this... that'll do pig-

ARADIA: oh that makes so much more sense

DAVE: -STOP IT BRO YOURE GONNA MAKE HIM CRY-

REDGLARE: -Oh, hey, hello. This. And everyone. And people. She's limping. She's tired. She's been keeping herself awake for the flight, and some of the pains have been keeping her from conking out anyways, but she's not quite ready to pass out on the floor. She hobbles over to the nearest thing she can sit on and sits.-

DAVENFORTH: !!!! -Walks over to Redglare and just kind of stands there, taking this all in. She looks so tired, and like she went through literally hell. His eyes linger on her a little too long- You mind if i sit here

REDGLARE: s1t. REDGLARE: 1 s4w your 1m4g3s.

DAVE: -SO SMOOTH BRUNCLE-

DAVENFORTH: -Groans a bit as he sits next to her.- I think they did too much justice

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: Mph.

REDGLARE: You 4lso brought b4ck th3 s1lly... m4sk m4n 4ct.

REDGLARE: 4t l34st 1t s3rv3d 1ts purpos3.

DAVENFORTH: Got something against dave skellington movies

DAVENFORTH: Icon

REDGLARE: 1 th1nk 1 w4s cl34r 3nough.

REDGLARE: S1lly.

DAVENFORTH: Sex symbol

REDGLARE: uh-huh.

DAVENFORTH: -Sighs- Were gonna have a marathon when we get back im gonna get you an entire devils food cake and everything

REDGLARE: Th4t's...

REDGLARE: -snorts.-

REDGLARE: opt1m1st1c.

REDGLARE: You'll t3mpt th3 odds. Just c4ll 1t 4 sl1c3.

DAVENFORTH: Like youd just want a slice

REDGLARE: -PUNCHES HIS ARM-

DAVENFORTH: -Doof. He grins a little- So two slices huh

REDGLARE: M4yb3.

REDGLARE: On3 4nd 4 h4lf.

DAVENFORTH: One and three fourths

REDGLARE: You know wh4t.

REDGLARE: Sur3.

DAVENFORTH: -Puts an arm around her. He's just glad she's alive.- About time i win one

REDGLARE: Oh, shut up. You k1ll3d 4 world l34d3r.

DAVENFORTH: I had help

REDGLARE: Sudd3n bout of hum1l1ty?

DAVENFORTH: Sudden bout of getting crushed

DAVENFORTH: Probably would have a lot more worse for wear if it hadnt been for roxanne

REDGLARE: Oh.

REDGLARE: H4.

DAVENFORTH: I got sloppy and almost lost an eye or life for it you know whichever

DAVENFORTH: Not that ill get sympathy from you

REDGLARE: couldn't poss1bly 1m4g1n3 wh4t th4t's l1k3.

DAVENFORTH: Nope only me

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: Won't b3 4bl3 to do much l1k3 th1s. Sp34k1ng of.

DAVENFORTH: Well get you back up and running

REDGLARE: 1'm not runn1ng 4nywh3r3. C4rry m3. 4ss.

DAVENFORTH: Like a bara princess

REDGLARE: Wh4t do3s th4t m34n.

DAVENFORTH: Ripped to shit

REDGLARE: Oh.

REDGLARE: Y3s.

JOHN: - I didn't get to rp it but you can bet your ass John vigorously rubbed himself on Dave, Aradia and Dirk. Because! He was worried! And he missed them! For Dave it's extra vigorous. -

DAVE: -JUST STEER CLEAR OF THE BACK and we will be good-

JOHN: - Hair gets floofed and refloofed-

JOHN: - Also you get more medical attention because he doesn't trust these non uu people to do it right. -

DAVE: -be my servant-

JOHN: -after all the emotional reunions and fussing over everyone as much as they'll allow him....john honestly feels kind of uneasy and restless. eventually he finds himself sitting on the ground with his knees crossed, dumping out every piece of medical equipment in his sylladex and carefully cataloguing it. it's probably not necessary but he just really needs something to do.-

DAVE: -plops next to John and sits- hey

KANKRI: -It sure was kind of crazy with all the reunions, and after he was settled he managed to find John....dumping stuff on the floor with Dave.-

KANKRI: -Awkwardly stays hidden at the doorway to the room to watch for now.-

JOHN: -taking down how much he has of everything on a little note pad. looks round at dave and only dave since kankri is being weird and evesdropping- hey, man.

DAVE: havent seen you in like a month

DAVE: crazy shit huh

JOHN: yeah. if i had to say the shit was anything, i might use the word crazy.

DAVE: what about ape shit

DAVE: we turning this all primate primape reverse darwins theory of evolution

DAVE: we start as fuckin advanced as hell creatures and then just go back to the monkeys

JOHN: is this your roundabout way of expressing that earth really blows because if so i grudgingly gotta agree..earth really blows.

JOHN: i mean i had expectations for how much it was going to blow but the batterwitch really hit it out of the park.

JOHN: which is impressive because the bitch banned base ball.

JOHN: how do you ban baseball.

JOHN: -SOUNDS REALLY BITTER AND HAUGHTY.-

DAVE: you cant ban baseball

DAVE: baseball lives on in our hearts or some shit

DAVE: you either hit a home run or strike out

DAVE: but seriously i forgot all about queen troll

DAVE: until like now

JOHN: i mean...i'll forgive you, seeing as you had a lot of shit on your plate.

JOHN; ...baseball puns.

JOHN: and i'm really glad you were able to make

JOHN: a home run.

DAVE: ... DAVE: terrible

JOHN: c:

DAVE: how would i have gone another day without your goofy ass

JOHN: -feels the urge to hug him again, but he just leans on him instead.-

JOHN: -what if he just kind of sits on all his friends and protects them.-

JOHN: -crushes them lovingly under his ass.-

JOHN: -would this protect them from the 10 billion things that want to kill, hurt and take them away from him.-

JOHN: -these are the questions.-

DAVE: -lets it happen. He can't get too mushy even if he wants to scoop his best friend up in a hug and just stay like that for ten hours. So that's the most he can do. Let him- who the fuck vacations in minnesota

JOHN: -it's okay dave. he understands strider psychology by now. he knows u love him.-

KANKRI: -Finally walking in after watching that whole exchange.- I think that at least s9me pe9ple must have, at the very least 6ef9re all 9f these redicul9us new take 9ver laws that have 6een implemented. Perhaps they name f9r the scenery.

JOHN: maybe they tried to get out of minnesota but they couldn't, so they made the best of it.

JOHN: -ends up talking at the same time as kankri ???-

KANKRI: -Its like they are linked. Except not.-

KANKRI: -Also he is just going to casually sit on the other side of John.-

KANKRI: What are the tw9 9f y9u up t9?

DAVE: its minnesota

JOHN: talking about minnesota and dancing around the fact that dave adores me.

JOHN: -just sitting there like :)-

KANKRI: Yes it is? And what a69ut it 6eing Minnes9ta makes it less desira6le then anywhere else?

JOHN: i'd say "it's an earthling" thing but

JOHN: i don't think that's a thing anymore.

KANKRI: I d9n't kn9w, I think that there still can 6e "earthling things." 

KANKRI: Whatever they c9nsist 9f anyways.

JOHN: then thinking minnesota is a snowy boring wastleland is probably one of them, to answer your question.

JOHN: although idk this place looks pretty nice.

KANKRI: It has 6een the nicest part 9f earth I have visited s9 far.

KANKRI: Then again I d9nt feel like I have adequate experiences t9 c9mpare it t9...

DAVE: -literally just watching them talk so easily with each other and kankri hasn't even gone on a rant yet-

KANKRI: -That's because he feels like he doesn't really need a lot of words for John to get him.-

DAVENFORTH: -In the cool of the morning he finds himself sitting lake side, holding a mirror up to his face and peeling at the bandages around his eye. Great, yeah that was definitely gonna scar. At least he could see, even if it was a bit blurry. His face was started to heal up too, the swelling starting to subside despite there still being bruising.-