#the ever encompassing wylan

[productiveandselfdestructive]

me doing literally anything: woah this is so wylan van eck coded

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Do you have a masterlist for Daughter of the Rain and Snow? I saw chapter like 30 and I am intrigued by the synopsis but I need to start at the beginning hahah

Hiya, thanks so much for your interest in it! Although if you’ve read chapter 30 you may already know one of the plot twists so sorry about that haha

The chapters should all be tagged as “Maya Olsen oc”, but apparently it isn’t always working so sorry about that I’m not sure what the problem is. I’ll link chapter one here for you, and I’m planning on requesting an AO3 invite so hopefully I’ll be able to put it all together in one place some time soon. If you do enjoy it and want to be on the tag list for future chapters then let me know and I’ll add you, and if there’s any progress with setting up an AO3 account then I’ll post an update on here. Thanks so much, and if you do read then I hope you enjoy! 🖤

If anyone wants me to tag them in the replies on the existing chapters let me know :)

Also just briefly hijacking this to add: apologies that the next chapter is running late, I couldn’t decide whether it would be better from Inej’s perspective or Wylan’s so I wrote it simultaneously from both perspectives and am still fine-tuning them to decide which one is the one I’m sticking with; it’s possible that the next post will be a short chapter from Inej’s perspective followed by a longer chapter from Wylan’s perspective that still encompasses the same scene Inej’s did. But yeah, it is coming it’s just running a bit late

[yourlocalwhorelolzies]

Careless supernova (Jesper angst)

WC-1664 warnings (angst, arguments ig)

‘When my time comes around’

‘Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth’

Jesper didn’t know when the novice demo man became his whole universe; His moon, his stars, his nebula. All in one small auburn haired boy. He didn’t know when the universe walked into his life. He didn’t know when things stopped seeming so daunting as long as smaller slender hands were wrapped in his. When small shoulders brushed his and when the smell of chemicals became as home as that farm in the middle of the fields. 

No, Jesper didn't know when Wylan became a part of him. 

But he certainly knew when he was no longer there.

The wound still stung. It was open for all to see and this wasn't one that could be healed by a night at the tables and a bottle of his favorite alcohol resting in his hand. This wound ran deeper, carving away the very base of his being. This would stung more than any knife would or broken nose.

Wylan had nested in Jespers very heart and took some of it when he flew away. 

The Zemeni boy closed his eyes, praying, no begging to the saints above that when his eyes opened he would turn to the side, his eyes would drift across their shared room. He prayed that his eyes would land on the merching, no, HIS merchling. But alas the saints above had no such pity for him. 

His eyes opened and he was greeted with the dark red booth where he rested his tired legs. Taking a strong swig from the bottle with an unnamed alcohol within he willed his legs to carry him out of the bustling room. Stumbling Jesper took note of how the cold air nipped at his ears. Winter in Ketterdam was cold and unforgiving and in his haste to get away from that manor he forgot his coat. Just his luck. 

“Saints it's cold” The lanky teen murmured to nobody in particular

Making his way down the familiar winding streets and alleyways Jesper’s feet carried him to the slat.  Making his way through the familiar building he prayed his room remained the same. Perhaps he could land within the stiff bed and he would wake and none of it will have ever happened. No pretty merchling, no heist, no van eck. None of it. He would wake and everything will be an astonishingly realistic dream.

As he pushed open the worn door he practically deflated in relief, his bed, as ratty and old as ever was still there and everything was just as he had left it. As the door shut behind him he felt the weight of everything come crashing down. Stumbling to the bed he prayed he would fall into the comforting embrace of unconsciousness and he would not have to face reality. Just not quite yet he wasn't ready. 

— - - - - - - - - 

Jesper wasn't entirely sure what pulled him from his sleep but he was sure that his head was utterly throbbing. Groaning, he rolled over in the small bed that hardly qualified as a cot and buried his face in the flat pillow. Inhaling the zemeni boy had a startling realization that the pillow smelled of him. Arrogantly he had hoped that everything had been a dream. That he could forget the loss of the night before. However, the startling realization that Wylan was everywhere. His whole being and everything encompassing him was here. In this room, it stuck to his skin like soot and gunpowder. 

Forcing himself to pull away from the comfort he found he looked around the dingy room. 

Suddenly a loud bang resounding from downstairs forced him to his feet quicker than he was prepared for. Shaking the dizziness from his head Jesper grabbed his holsters from his place where he must have discarded them on the table beside his bed, the weight of them resting on his hips gave a sense of security. Jesper took a brief note of the midday sun that lingered in his peripheral vision, he must have slept through the morning. 

Daylight ment that Kaz would be in the club somewhere. Itching for something to occupy his hands, Jesper picked up a coin from the dresser. Forcing down the emotion at the thought that he had used a similar coin to craft his merchling a key to this very room down he flipped it through his fingers before setting his way out of the room. 

As he made his way down the crooked staircase he paused a familiar voice sounding out through the club he forced himself to the wall. 

“You're saying you don't know where he is”' Kaz's voice was gruff as always. 

“No i don't, I didn't see him show up last night” The barkeep was defensive. 

“Your useless” Kaz is as brutal as always. 

Taking a deep breath, Jesper made his way down the final stairs into the main room of the building. His eyes landed on Kaz Brekker, the bastard of the barrel, dirty hands, and Jesper’s bestest of friends. 

“Are you looking for me?” he inquired with a raised brow and a playful smirk

“Where were you, Wylan said you disappeared last night” Kaz’s voice was rough and demanding. Jesper forced his face into neutrality before he thought too hard about Wylan. 

“What, can’t I enjoy the pleasures the barrel has to offer” Jesper deflected 

“Jesper, You haven't been to the barrel to enjoy the pleasures in months” 

“Keeping tabs on me are you brekker, its okay, you can admit you care about me” Jesper teased

“You're a valuable asset” Kaz didn't miss a beat. The boy's dark eyes flicked over jesper in an overly critical way. It made jesper uncomfortable, Kaz always seemed to know more about Jesper than he did himself. “Plus I have a job for you” 

Jesper perked up at the mention of something to do , he could use the work; it was the only thing other than gambling that kept him active. And blissfully numb.

“What kind of job?” he inquired. His mind was already racing 100 miles an hour. 

“A wealthy merchant has been trying to buy out the clubs and pleasure houses. He is bad for business and I have set up a meeting. The meeting is cover, you and Inej will break into his house and steal a few documents from him” Kaz was as unexpressive as ever. Jesper could tell he was leaving details out but he was too giddy with excitement to care.

“Okay, when do we leave” 

“You have two hours to prepare yourself, and jesper.” Kaz paused briefly as jesper turned to face him “i need you not distracted, Got it?” Jesper nodded before making his way out of the building, a budding smirk building on his features. 

—- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - —-

As jesper made his way to the meeting point where he would see Inej his mind drifted. Landing unfortunately back on the merchling whom he carried heavy in his heart. He knew the words he spoke from the previous night had been unfair and cruel but he couldn't help it. Wylan had been working all week and Jesper selfishly missed him. He hadn't meant to annoy the boy but he supposed he had that unique ability. 

Jesper’s eyes lifted from where they rested on the revolvers he had been cleaning. He took in the shorter boy's presence with a small smile. “Welcome home” He greeted. His greeting was met with a non committal humm. His brows furrowing jesper carefully set his precious revolver down on the coffee table as his long legs carried him over to the boy who was turned away from him, organizing his bag. “You okay?” Jesper asked quietly as he touched the smaller boys shoulder. Flinching wylan has dropped the stack of papers he was holding. 

“God jesper can you give me two seconds of space ever?” The redhead had snapped suddenly, his eyes flicked angrily over to the zemeni boy as if demanding an answer. 

“Sorry i didn't mean to spook you”’ Jesper was quiet, silently he prayed for an apology. 

“Of course not, you just can't stand to leave me alone for two seconds. God I can't ever catch a break” Wylans tone was cruel, almost mocking.

“Hey, I get that you had a bad day but that's not my fault I dont deserve for you to take it out on me” Jesper defended himself 

“Of course not” Wyalns tone was snarky and sarcastic. 

“Your unbelievable” Jesper could feel his rising temper.

“Oh? Im unbelievable, at least I know when to leave you alone, At least i dont need constant reassurance. At least i can go two fucking seconds without being annoying” Wylans voice began to raise. 

“Your being unfair. This is not my fault.” Jesper was trying really hard to be understanding of the young merch’s exhaustion but he was getting fed up. 

“Yea nothing seems to be your fault” The redhead mumbled

“God you're being so rude right now, this isn't fair. I bend over backwards to give you space, read for you, help you when you need it and you don't see me being an ass about it.” Jespers voice raised as well 

“Nobody is forcing you to stay here” Wylan hissed out. 

“Your right they aren't” Jesper stated as he turned around. Quickly gathering his things he turned to look back at the merchling. Wylan simply gave him an unamused look with a small shake of his head. 

“Go on then, and don't bother coming back”. 

 And jesper did. He didn't wait to hear anything else as he stormed out of the house and into the streets of The Barrel. Him and Wylan were at odds again. He supposed it was perhaps for the best. A supernova as pretty and bright as it appeared was still a violent explosion. 

Jesper failed to realize that he was to his destination before his body collided with a familiar redhead. 

“Jesper?” 

“Wylan?”

I hope you enjoyed, this was def rushed but I was lining to hoizer so that was cool and this was born, reblogs are appreciated and comments. lmk if you want a part two.

[kiljoytrout]

Some thoughts about Kaz and Kanej’s popularity

note: this meta might be a bit half baked since I’ve not read Crooked Kingdom yet, but I’ll do my best and no spoilers pls! highkey was just going to let this languish in my journal but i had a feeling that @sanktaofknives​ would enjoy this, so here ya go!

One of the most notable aspects of Six of Crows is what we come to feel for Kaz Brekker and his relationship with Inej Ghafa. At first glance, it may appear to some a typical YA trope, intended to pander to Bad Boy™ enthusiasts who dream of being whisked away from their ivory towers by fallen angels in black leather.  But this brushoff doesn’t hold up under closer inspection: Kaz is broken and twisted in ways that even the most fanatical of admirers would take pause at, a man whose edge is not simply a conduit for salacious sex scenes (in fact as a ramification of his frightening back story, he feels revulsion for most skin to skin touch), and Inej the Wraith with her dark skin, glowing knives, and refusal to bow down even to the Bastard of the Barrel (but not in a sold to Harry Styles way) isn’t a typical YA self-insert. So why do we long for love to blossom in these two most of all? Nina and Matthias’s homicidal banter and Wylan and Jesper’s flirtatious clownery both have their charms but there is no arguing which romance hangs in the stars, encompasses our minds to the point that for many fans, the rest merely orbit around it. It’s because we as readers and as human beings are drawn to contradictions. We like the beautiful roses that rise from our perfectly tended gardens, whose thorns are an afterthought, for what trouble would ever approach it? But we gaze in awe at the flowers that bloom in between concrete cracks, battling stone and drought and the world trying to crush it back into the ground. Kaz Brekker (which isn’t even his real name) is a staircase of contradictions, with each step into his psyche taking you higher and higher until you’re so far up that you wonder how he ever started from the pure, lowly ground. He has seen unspeakable things, done unspeakable things, and while thoughts, especially in a place like Ketterdam, by rule remain unspoken, we can see through his POV chapters that Kaz’s are worst than most. Yet we root for him as he devises treacherous schemes, guns gangsters down, and rips eyeballs out of sockets to be thrown into the cold, briny sea. Why? Because as the story progresses, we get to see his armor fall, his mercy counseled, his past unhaunted by a 16 year old Suli girl that he rescued on a glance from the brothel house worse than death. Kaz will never get back his brother, his childhood, his grit and suffering that paved the gilded steps of the Crows Club. Inej shall never get back those lost years, undo the violations she suffered in the Menagerie, or erase the scars that have made her body and mind a map of places she longs to forget. But what makes this story worth telling, heck what makes life worth living, is when you line up these broken pieces together, conjoin contradictions, and step back to reveal a perfect paradox. Nothing will ever be enough to banish the past. But together Kaz and Inej, more than just Dirtyhands and Wraith, beat the past back long enough to cultivate a crop rarely found in the Barrel: the whisper thin, deeprooted seed of hope. 

everyone who reads this, love ya bunches and i love respectful discourse and SOC topic requests! (i’ll also be reading CK soon so thats not off limits, but preface w/a spoiler warning pls) 

over and out- kiljoytrout 

[retvenkos]

blanching | helnik

Six of Crows - A Helnik Story, angst, slight fluff requested by @musicallisto​​

tw: a suggestive comment, grief, spoilers for crooked kingdom

word count: 1.5k

prompt: “i’m here for you. i have your back.”

A/N: y’know, this turned out pretty decent, but ohmygod... you guys should have seen the scene that was painted in my head... it would have made you sob.

Summary: Fear and uncertainty didn’t belong here. Not in Novyi Zem. Not with Matthias.

Novyi Zem was beautiful. In the morning, the sun rose steadily, filtering through slatted blinds and spilling across the floor, warming the shadows until they disappeared from view. In the mid-afternoon, its bustling cities were full of life - laughter seemingly reverberating from the very ground, the smell of food wafting through the clear air, the bright, sparkling ocean bringing in a soft breeze that ruffled skirts and jackets. In the evening, its farmlands hummed with the music of crickets, lush greens and dying yellows stretching onto infinity.  Colm Fahey lived in Cofton, with rows and rows of jurda plants, all of them vibrantly orange, flowering under the warm summer sun. 

Once, maybe a lifetime ago, Colm Fahey told Nina and the rest of the crows that his home was open to them, should they need it. Jesper had laughed as though the offer were a joke without a punchline, and Kaz had assured Mr. Fahey that they would never be passing by.

Nina was the one to laugh, now.

Novyi Zem was one stop on a trip to somewhere much warmer, and when they were running low on coin, Wylan pointed out that Jesper's family home wasn't far from them. Kaz said they would stop for only a day or two. How long had they been there, now? Two weeks? Maybe longer?

Nina was pleased with the arrangement. As long as there was enough flour for waffles and enough sun for warmth, she could gladly stay in Novyi Zem forever.

The sounds of the farm were a charming cacophony that rooted Nina to this reality - to this beautiful, warm world. Nina lay in the fields, her hair haloing outward, her palms digging into the fresh grass. She closed her eyes, feeling the sun on her face, its golden and amber hues playing against the dark of her eyelids. The sun was a brilliant ball of light, kissing Nina's skin and warming her from the outside in - penetrating the bone. Never had she known warmth such as this.

In the Heartrender rooms of the Little Palace, Nina was taught the secrets of the body and the science of bending it to your will. She learned everything - from releasing chemicals in the brain for good spirits to inducing heart attacks that could prove fatal, given a particular turn of the wrist. Nina mastered how to increase blood flow and quicken the heartbeat, and ever since, she kept herself warm.

Nina had only ever been cold twice in her life, in the orphanage where she grew up and on a boat lost in a tempest. Warmth was a luxury that a Grisha Heartrender could afford, and Nina swore that she would never be cold again. Not after the orphanage. Not after the storm. Not after...

Novyi Zem was beautiful, but mostly, it was warm.

"What are you doing?" Matthias' voice called out -  rich, full of teasing and mirth. She could hear the steady beat of his heart as he came closer, walking toward her from the barn, where Colm kept his harvesting tools. 

Nina didn't have to open her eyes to know he was smiling. "Enjoying the sun," she replied.

Matthias scoffed, but he laid down next to her all the same.

"Do you not do that in Fjerda, drüskelle?" Nina opened her eyes and shot him a teasing glance. His cheeks were a ruddy pink, full of life and love. For a moment, Nina didn't want to let go. She shifted onto her side, but her eyes never left him. "Do you just sit around all day and hope the temperature drops below zero?"

Matthias rolled his eyes. Hips lips parted softly. "We are not in Fjerda."

"Thank the Saints for that. I've had enough ice to last a lifetime."

Matthias chuckled, and Nina bit her lip to stop a giddy grin from crossing her face. The sun beat down on them, warm and full of zest. Nina moved to grab his hand but hesitated, pausing halfway in the space between. Matthias didn't notice - his eyes were on the sky, far away from her.

"I would like to go back, someday." And the wind came by at the mention of Fjerda, as though he were summoning it all on his own. It made the jurda sway, and the breeze seemed to carry a message. 

"Take root... follow the water north..." 

Nina grabbed Matthias' strong hand; it was warm. She squeezed it tightly, feeling the steady beat of his heart; warm, alive.

"We'll go," Nina said, her smile smaller than before. Her voice cracked, and something was breaking in her chest because of it - something raw and heaving that didn't belong in Novyi Zem. Not with Colm Fahey - so kind as to invite everyone over to stay. Not with a home with fields of jurda and always enough flour to make waffles. Not the with this sun that shined down on them, begging them to stay. Not with the warmth and the love and the life.

"You will come with me?"

Nina blinked.

"And let you go alone? You'd never make it." And Matthias chuckled again, an exasperated breath of delight. His blue eyes were sparkling with the light of the sun. She let go of him slowly, their hands still brushing. He was here - he always would be. Nina taunted him more. "Have you ever had to charm a barkeep for a meal?"

"No. But I would work for one."

"Oh, so you would sell your body, then?"

Matthias' expression turned scandalous for a heartbeat. He turned to her incredulously, but when he saw the wide smile that stretched over Nina's face, he heaved a dry laugh. Nina raised her eyebrows and started to chuckle. 

"You—" but he was laughing too hard to finish, his breathy chuckles turning into bursts of rich laughter, a sound deep in his chest, warming Nina to the bone. She grinned with him, peals of laughter ripping through her until her sides hurt from the pure joy it all, the brightness of their love, all-encompassing and fading into the air. Nina's heart ached - it was too full.

She poked Matthias' sides, and his laughter intensified. Eventually, he captured her hands in his and held them close to his chest, still laughing, all the while. Their love was warm and radiant, but his eyes were an icy, frozen blue - the tundra from which he came. Nina stared into them deeply, wishing to memorize the look in his eyes. A beautiful, pale blue. Steady like the ice. Glassy...

Tears pricked Nina's eyes, spilling down her cheeks. She was crying.

For a moment, she wondered if it was from the laughter at all.

"We'll go together," Matthias affirmed, his voice no longer laughing, his expression turning back into that sculpted, strong sense of calm. He kissed her fingers before letting them go, reaching up to wipe the tears that glistened on her cheeks.

"Always?" Nina's voice shook, an uncharacteristic uncertainty in her tone. Her hands were shaking, but she couldn't understand why. Was it fear?

No.

No. Fear didn't belong here. Not in Novyi Zem. Not with Matthias.

Matthias had an easy smile on his face. He leaned back in the richly colored grass and sighed, content. "Are you planning on holding me hostage if I do not say yes?"

"If I say yes, will you stay?"

Matthias smiled and closed his eyes; he breathed deeply like he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. For a moment, Nina was in Ketterdam, crying over the dark cobblestones, holding Matthias in her arms. He was there, with her, and he was pale... so pale...

No.

"Matthias?"

He was smiling like some kind of victorious Saint, the sunlight woven into his hair. He didn't open his eyes.

"Helvar."

A jurda plant broke as though snapped by a nonexistent breeze. It fell on Matthias' chest, but its color was red, not that vibrant, wholesome orange. A red tulip from the Van Eck gardens - not from Novyi Zem. Not from here.

"Drüskelle!"

Matthias' eyes snapped open. He had just been dozing.

"Nina?"

They were on the dirty streets of Ketterdam. The world was chaos - full of plague alarms and hellfire - and Nina was slipping into her grief, drowning in mourning, floundering in this power that couldn't save him. She was holding onto him, again, but his body was already claimed by death; cold. So, so cold.

"Come back," Nina sobbed.

“I’m here for you, Nina. I'll always have your back.” But his voice was no longer his, just an echo of someone who once was, just the cruel imaginings of her mind, dark and hollow - grieving, still.

"Come back to me, then. Don't leave me, Matthias. Please."

"I have been made to protect you. Even in death, I will find a way."

Nina took in a shuddering breath, and all around her, the beauty of Novyi Zem crumbled. Her world - her beautiful, warm world - was fading, blanching into nothing and burning into pale, grey ash. The wind was whipping around her, and the Fjerdan ice was unforgivingly claiming her.

She was sitting on the shore with tears crystallized on her eyelashes. The sun had long since dipped over the horizon, and she was cold. So, so cold.

-- taglist: @musicallisto​, @catsbooksandmusic​​ // message me if you want to be added!

[cadcnce-archived]

@more-than-a-princess​ sent: Because I've been curious about this for awhile: how does Wylan's job affect him emotionally, mentally? Yes, he's got physical scars and tends to be joking and easygoing most of the time, but does killing people for a living ever take a toll on him? And does anyone else get to see that unfold if/when it does?

And if he could get out of his line of work, would he want to do something else with his life? And if so, what?

As with many things Wylan, there’s a generous amount of internalizing and rationalizing that encompasses the darker things he’s done in his modern verses where murder and lethal self-defense are much more frowned upon. Nothing he’s done is as gruesome or horrible as you may think. There’s no glory killing or gratuitous murder with his work outside of what’s necessary. He prefers a single knife stab or slice, a gunshot to the vitals, or breaking the neck over anything like what a serial killer or other character would use. Kills are quick when possible. And bodies are usually left as is to send a message as part of the contract. When they’re not-- look at how the Hitman games go, Wylan isn’t much different. He’s a murderer, but he’s not a psycho. Very much avoids civilian casualties. It’s the ones he can’t avoid that hurt the most. The ones that weigh the most on his subconscious. The number here is small enough it can be counted on one hand.

The way he handles it emotionally and mentally is markedly kept separate from how he is normally. Most people probably have noticed that he flips like a switch between the person he tries and pretends to be and how he behaves and looks when it’s related to his work. He does not extend his jovial joking behavior here, and in the moment of a kill, where he has to flip the switch to become a proper assassin, he has to try more than he’d like sometimes to keep himself from enjoying it. Because he’s good at what he does. A double edged sword- because part of his rationale in handling the work and softening the blow to his psyche is that his usual kill targets are criminals themselves. So killing them is, in a way, not necessarily a bad thing, right? To say that Wylan almost views himself as a vigilante is close to the mark even if he would deny it if asked outright. 

Not every job is that clean, and there are some things he’s come across that have made him absolutely sick. Either the things people have done that he comes across, or things he’s had to end up doing himself in order to stay alive.

Wylan is not in the business for the money at this point, and has enough money to live comfortably without needing to work anymore. Most he makes now that isn’t used to fund his sister’s college or keep his own living budget goes towards charity, like this is anything more than pennies on the scale against what he’s doing for it. The foundations preferred are ones helping out orphaned kids stay off the street, i.e. the closest thing to help people stay out of the situation he got himself into.

So why does he continue doing it? A mix of shame and ‘do what you’re good at’ with sprinkles of ‘i enjoy it’ topped off with ‘there are people who wouldn’t let me leave it’. Between various mafia families in the world, Yakuza, and corporate groups there’s a lot of people who have utilized the services of ‘Zephyr’, some of which have managed, quietly, to connect that name with Wylan Rechtur or one of his other aliases. If he were to turn against or turn away from their requests it could spell poorly for him. It’s one of the reasons you won’t see him talk about his sister much. And why she doesn’t carry the false ‘Rechtur’ name he created for himself after his grandmother passed away.

In the end, it’s kept closed away, what he does, definitely not taking pride in what he does but also not absolutely despising it. It’s a common theme with him to juggle his emotions and flip between different sides of the coin, and that remains a constant here just as it does with other facets of his life- like his sister, his treatment of his friends, romance, etc.

If it were Wylan’s decision, to get a fresh start without the guilt or weight, he would want to be a stage actor. Unfortunately, he dies in his unaltered canon in his middle age a few years after his sister graduates from her last degree in college and starts a life for herself, and cuts herself free of needing him, and he slowly goes off the deep end without having that passive anchor he created for himself. More dangerous jobs are taken. He’s more reckless. And it doesn’t end well inevitably.

So far I’ve only written one verse, the Somnium Files one, that goes beyond his current main story. Where he does turn himself in for what he’s done as a result of working out a certain crime and feeling compelled to put things to rest for himself. He’s put on death row but saved through a deal with the secret department of the police department in Tokyo, where he works with Boss at ABIS.

[whenispeakicrossmyfingers]

Happy Monday! I had a terribly anxious night of sleep last night & idk why, so I’m giving myself a little extra love this morning, and that includes telling everyone about the book(s) I finished reading!

So I said my new years resolution was to read more, and so far I’m doing a pretty decent job of it. I’ve read three books this year and, while I would have loved to post about each one individually, the first two were e-books. Thus, we are here. 

Welcome to the first (and possibly only) installment of BOOKS I READ IN 2018! Maybe if I give it a title I’ll feel some responsibility to uphold it. I’ll put it under a cut because I tend to blab. Also, if you’re not into YA but interested in the book in this pic, scroll down to the last rec. If you don’t read any other part of this post, read that. Because this is the book I really want to rec to people. 

Anyway.

Six of Crows by Leah Bardugo

This book was fun! I had seen loads of stuff on tumblr about it and I’ve missed reading YA lately, so I thought I would give it a go. Plus I’m a sucker for a good heist. It took me a while to get into, I’m not going to lie. I don’t know if I just wasn’t in the right place for it when I tried, or if it was just slow moving at the start. Regardless, I pushed on and I’m really glad I did. 

The premise: Six teens from the dregs of Ketterdam attempt to pull the most difficult heist in the most impenetrable place in the world in order to make a little lot of money. 

Praises: There are different (third person) perspectives throughout the book, and I really enjoyed that because it gave characterization that you wouldn’t quite get if it had been a single perspective. I really loved the way the author created this world but made it really realistic. The names and languages and locations reminded me of various parts of the world, and made it really easy to visualize. Ketterdam is modeled after Amsterdam, and there were definitely traces of Dutch in the language used in the city. Same thing with the other countries and cultures. Fjerda reminded me of Scandinavia, Su Han reminded me of east Asia, Novyi Zem reminded me of Africa, Ravka reminded me of Russia, the Kaelish reminded me of the Irish, and the Suli felt very Middle Eastern to me. I really really liked this kind of implicit representation in it. I thought Bardugo did a really great job giving background about each place without feeling like I was reading an entire history of the country à la many fantasy writers in the world (cough cough George RR Martin). 

Complaints: all these characters are supposed to be incredibly resourceful and also very murderous as times, and they’re only like 16-18 years old. This is just a general complaint about YA stories like this in general. I didn’t mind it when I was the same age as the characters, but reading it now being nearly 24 years old I’m just kind of meh about it. But, that said, it was still enjoyable and I suspended reality of it for this fictional world. 

Since Six of Crows is a duology and I didn’t have to wait for another book to come out, I decided to read the sequel immediately after. Henceforth, we have the next book.

Crooked Kingdom by Leah Bardugo

I liked this one even better than the first one. The characters stayed the same, but the story was very different. They all still banded together to pull some tricks, but the overall story was structured different. 

Praise: So often I think sequels take the same shape and structure as the previous book, especially if the first was received very well. This is not necessarily bad, but it can get tired after a while because you already have an idea of what will happen. This book didn’t do that, and I loved it. It had similar elements, but this was more of a revenge plot than the first book, and I thought it was really well done. I don’t want to give too much away in case anyone wants to read it. But it was a refreshing sequel and I really enjoyed it. We also got to learn more about the characters which I loved, and more background about the world they live it. Again, Bardugo did a great job of balancing everything and not making it too heavy in one area. 

Complaints: Both in this and Six of Crows I wished that the perspectives were divided a bit more evenly. They were for the most part, but I found myself getting tired of seeing the same stuff about some characters and not so much about the others. This may be a bias because my favorite characters had fewer perspectives and I wanted more of them, but whatever. That was really the only issue I had with the book. Oh, and there were a few things (e.g. Winged Shu & Dunyasha) that I felt were introduced for no real reason, other than to have another exciting element. I could have done without these and been perfectly happy. 

Favorite Characters by rank: Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar, Kaz Brekker. 

Overall, both were very very good and helped kick start the year of reading. 

How Much the Heart Can Hold: Seven Stories on Love

I took quite a turn after reading SOC & CK to read a book of short stories about love. 

I grabbed it, initially, because the cover art is breathtaking and I am a sucker for love. I thought it was going to be all romantic love, but I was surprised to read that it covered several different types of love. I’ve always been fascinated in the different type of love in the world, as well as how we show love to each other, so naturally I had to get it. I thought it would be a nice way to start the year too, with a little bit of tender growth into whoever I am supposed to be. And it certainly did that. It wasn’t entirely transformational. This isn’t the type of book that I’m going to shove in everyone’s faces saying “YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO READ THIS IT’S THE BEST BOOK EVER.” But I will say that it provided me quiet comfort and allowed me to see things in ways I hadn’t really considered before. 

There was a really great quote in the introduction by the editor that solidified my purchase too. She’s said that she gave the different types/definitions of love to various writers and let them choose whichever called out to them the most. That was the only prompt. Write about that love in whatever way the writer saw fit. Then she says: 

“When all the stories came back, the thing that struck me most - the uniting feature of each tale - was that the love they chose was always characterised by action, and resulted in transformation. Love in these stories is rarely static, but constantly changing and developing. It is, universally, an active force.”

And I just love that so much? I think we often forget how transformational love is. We get so swept up in the idea of romantic love being this all encompassing and beautiful thing that turns your world on it’s head, but we forget about the small types of love we experience every day and how that changes us. Because those changes are so much smaller and happen at a much more gradual pace, so we don’t realize how much growth we’ve gone through until we’re years down the line. And I just think that’s so beautiful. 

The Types of Love Discussed in the Book & a Brief  Opinion About the Story That Exemplifies it: 

La Doleur Exquise (the pain of unrequited love): Before It Disappears by Rowan Hisayo Buchanan

What a way to start the book. This one is painful and heartbreaking but gives so much sympathy for a couple struggling late in their relationship when one of them cannot help themselves any longer. 

Pragma (enduring love): One More Thing Coming Undone by D.W. Wilson

An interesting story about reconnecting with an old flame that never really went away, even though you haven’t spoken in nearly twenty years.

Philautia (love for oneself): White Wine by Nikesh Shukla

A heartwarming story about a brother and sister and how the brother learns to see himself through certain aspects of his sister’s life. A brieft touch on casual racism in everyday London society and how the characters deal with it. 

Mania (obsessive love): Magdala, Who Slips Sometimes by Donal Ryan

A fantastic story who’s style mimics the manic, chaotic, desperate love described within it’s pages. About a love that persists, however unhealthy, years after it ended. 

Storge (familial love): Codas by Carys Bray 

This one made me feel a lot. It centers around a woman and her relationship with her father and her son. It’s simple and moved me in a way I didn’t expect. It made me very excited to love a child as my own one day. 

Eros (erotic love): The Love Story by Grace McCleen

My favorite of the stories. It follows a nine year old girl who is desperately wanting to know what love is, as well as the uncomfortable pleasure she experiences when she gets sexual feelings for the first time. 

Agape (love for humanity): The Human World by Bernardine Evaristo

A hilariously funny take on God and what it takes to love and watch over humanity to make sure we don’t destroy everything. It’s honest and it hurts and it made me think of the way God is so often portrayed in media and what it would actually be like to have God’s job. Even if you’re not religious in any way, it’s very universal and definitely worth a read.

SceptreLoves: It Was Summer by Phoebe Roy

This story was the winner of a writing competition that accompanied the hardcover publication of this book. It follows a relationship from start to finish and back again in a way that is soft and moving and incredibly realistic. 

Overall these stories were great. Whether you read them all in one sitting, or read them individually over time, or in some other combination, it’s a light read that will make you reflect more on the life you lead and the way you love.