#the first bonus image oh my god frank

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Stitches // 17

Pairing: Frank Castle x Reader

Summary: Frank fears he'll become the person he used to be at the end of it all.

Warnings: angst, cursing, mention of blood and broken bones, knife violence

Raise your hand if you're worried about how this is all going to play out 😬🙋🏽‍♀️

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 BONUS

MASTERLIST

—

Y/N’s POV

This can’t be happening

“Is she going to be alright?” Frank squeezed my shoulder as we looked at her through the glass door of the ICU room she’s in. My sweet Amy is hooked up to so many machines, I could barely recognize her.

“She suffered a lot of trauma to her chest cavity and skull. She has two broken ribs and there is minor swelling in her brain from the impact, we’re monitoring that closely for any changes at all. The trauma she experienced to her head has her in a coma and even though we are hopeful that she’d wake up, there is the possibility that she might not.” hot tears flowed from my eyes as I broke down in Frank’s arms; this wasn’t supposed to happen. How could this happen?

“Are we allowed to go in at least?”

“You can.”

“Thank you doc.” Frank tried his best to comfort me, rubbing his hand up and down the length of my back. I could barely breathe from the intensity of my sobs into his chest.

“Sweetheart, it’s going to be alright shhhh, forget what he said, Amy’s strong she’s going to wake up sooner or later.” he kissed my forehead, holding onto me tighter in the process. I heard the familiar sound of Matt’s cane tapping the ground and turned my head in the direction it’s coming from; Matt, Foggy and Karen followed Brett over to us.

“Y/N- Oh God.” Karen gasped and looked away from the room.

“Where is that son of a bitch, Mahoney?” we know Amy was with Jacob and they found her in his car, we have yet to get any word about how he’s doing or if he survived at all. I could feel Frank’s anger radiating off of him, we both need answers as to what went down tonight and he has them.

“We should talk in the room.” pulling away I sucked in a deep breath and waddled into the room with Brett and Frank trailing behind. I pulled the chair closer to her and sat down, gently taking her hand in mine.

“The department got a call from one of the residents in the nearby complex about the car crash and by the time the first responders arrived on the scene they only found Amy pinned in the front seat, the driver was long gone.”

—

Frank’s POV

“You’re telling me that bastard left her there and didn’t bother to call for help.”

I am livid, Jacob better hope that I don’t find him because he’ll wish that he had died behind that wheel when I get my hands on him. She could have died out there tonight and he walks away, fuck that.

“We don’t even know who the driver is-”

“Jacob Whitman, nineteen, about six foot tall, grey eyes, lean built. That’s the asshole that did this to her.” my hands gripped onto the foot of the bed in a death grip, my knuckles turning white as the image of the guy flashed before my eyes.

“Well damn, you wouldn’t happen to know his address also?” reaching forward I held onto her ankle and gently rubbed it; stay strong for me kid.

“No.”

Lie, I knew all there is to know about that prick, his birthday, favourite place to eat, places he frequents, his ailing mother warded at Metro Gen, all of it. Mahoney doesn’t need to know that though at least not until after I have a little chat with him.

“Okay, well at least I have something to start with.” he turned to leave but paused in his tracks.

“I’m sorry this happened, you guys have been through a lot already and I know how much the kid means to you both, especially you Frank. She’ll pull through this.” I nodded silently thanking him and he left. Not two seconds later the trio came in and I straightened up.

“Can you guys stay with Y/N while I go look for this asshole?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Frank..” Y/N called out to me, I know that tone very well. She’s warning me not to go kill the bastard but I'm really not up for taking orders from anyone. Amy’s in a hospital bed with a tube down her throat while that bastard is roaming freely.

“Don’t, sweetheart. You told me to ignore my suspicions and I did, maybe if I had told her not to go with him we wouldn’t be here. You told me to trust her judgement and this is what happened, she’s hooked up to so many damn wires with a machine keeping her alive.” I don’t have it in me to get into an argument with Y/N over this, it’s not her fault that any of this happened.

“You’re blaming me for this?”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m blaming myself.” without another word I stepped out into the hallway with Red hot on my trail.

“Now’s not the time, Red.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“The hell you are.”

“Look, I know you and I have our differences but I know how much Amy means to you both so if I can help, I’ll help.” I gave him a once over and patted him on his shoulder in the process.

“You can help me by staying here with Y/N and the kid.”

—

People really shouldn’t leave their windows unlocked, especially the ones that lead to their fire escapes, you never know who or what can get in.

The sound of running water from the bathroom is the only sound filling this crappy ass apartment that Jacob is holed up in. I quietly manoeuvred further into his place, careful not to knock anything over in doing so.

I could handle this two ways, I can make myself comfortable and wait for him to finish his shower or I can bust in there and beat the shit out of him. Fuck that.

Option two it is.

I kicked the door in and crossed the room to the shower, his eyes looked like they were going to fall out his head, hell I just might knock them out myself.

“No-” my clenched fist connected with his temple, successfully knocking him out with one blow. Before he could drop to the floor I grabbed and dragged him out to his living room, dropping him down onto one of his chairs.

Taking the zip ties I brought with me out of my pocket I secured him to the chair, fighting the urge to gut him right here. I can’t kill him yet, I need to know what really went down in that car tonight; he has the answers and I am more than willing to beat them out of him if I have to.

There’s a gash on his leg, cuts and bruises scattered on his face and chest as well. He’s banged up pretty good, it should’ve been him in the hospital fighting to stay alive instead of her. Soon enough he’s going to wake up and wish that he hadn’t taken her out on that date.

—

Y/N’s POV

“We were doing so good, neither one of us getting into any kind of trouble as we moved forward with being a family. Christ, we’re about to have a little boy of our own and now Amy’s…she’s, God, why?”

I want to scream all my frustrations out and don’t stop until my lungs give out. I brushed my thumb on the back of her hand, forced to listen as the machine breathed for her. Although he said that he blamed himself for her being in this position, I know that there’s also a part of him that blamed me as well. I blame myself for completely letting my guard down, believing that Jacob was nothing more than just a regular guy that liked Amy.

“I’m the one at fault here, I should’ve listened to him in the beginning. If I had-”

“Aye, don’t do that. You couldn’t have known, this is not your fault at all.”

“It sure feels like it.”

—

Frank’s POV

Jacob groaned in pain, slowly waking up from the blow to the head. Dropping the magazine next to the knife on the table I kept my eyes trained on him as he took in his surroundings before landing his gaze on me.

“Morning sunshine, we need to talk.”

“How di-”

“What happened in that car, Jacob?” the muscles in my jaw ticked the longer I looked at the naked son of a bitch who chose to stay quiet. Lightly nodding I picked up the knife and stabbed the tip into the wooden table, twisting it, creating a dent in the tabletop.

“Don’t make me ask the same question twice, it won't end well for you.” he gulped as he looked at the weapon in my grasp.

“None of that was supposed to happen, I swear.” his lips quivered in fear as I rose to my feet.

“I was taking her to the waterfront to see the city lights, Amy was the one that swerved the car.” that made absolutely no sense to me, why would she crash the car if he was innocently taking her there? There’s more to that story.

“Amy wouldn’t have crashed the car unless she had a pretty damned good reason. Why’d she do it?” again, silence.

“Ahhhh!” Jacob’s screams filled the space as I pushed the blade deep into his thigh until it reached the handle, definitely doing some damage to his nerve, I couldn’t care less.

“You’re crazy!”

“Trust me, you don’t want to see how crazy I can be.” winding my hand in the mass of hair that sat on his head I yanked him backwards, forcing him to look up at me.

“You listen to me very carefully, you put my kid in the hospital and I’m ready to send you to the morgue for that but I need to know what happened tonight before I do.” he screamed again as I twisted the knife further.

“A man! That’s what I was taking her there for!”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

“I don’t know who he is or his name, he’s somewhat of a regular at the diner, he always requested that Amy serve him every time he came in. I never questioned why because he tipped her good and we could use all the tips we could get.”

“Description.”

“Caucasion, my height, brown hair, he always wears a suit, mid to late forties.”

Fisk probably has this man on his payroll, wouldn't put it past the bastard to send his men after her.

“During my third week working there he asked me if I wanted to make some extra money on the side and I blindly said yes without knowing what I was getting myself into.” The more he spoke the less I wanted to choke the life out of him. He’s just a kid that got caught up with the wrong people. Releasing him, I sat down in my seat again.

“What’d he offer you?”

“He said he’d pay me to get closer to her and get to know her better and report to him whatever information I got. That was our initial deal, then he called three days ago and said he’d pay me a large sum of money if I brought her to the waterfront this morning at one.”

“How much was my little girl worth asshole?”

“One million and before you say anything know that I couldn’t pass that kind of cash up. I have to take care of my mom and pay for college at the same time.”

Don't kill him Frank, there's a different way to deal with this.

“She told me to take her home and I refused, that’s when she grabbed the wheel and we crashed into a building.”

“And you left her there to die, you didn’t bother to try to get her out of there.”

“She was out cold and trapped. I’m such an idiot, I shouldn’t have gotten into this. I should’ve told him no-” his cries got drowned out by the blaring of his phone ringing on the table, unknown caller ID.

“You’re going to talk and forget that I’m even here. You say anything out of the ordinary I will not hesitate to snap your neck.”

“Okay..” I swiped to answer it and put it on speaker, Jacob swallowed before speaking.

“Hello.”

“What happened, Jacob?” a gruff voice came through the phone, I have never met this person before, his voice is foreign to me.

“There was an accident, she knew something was off.”

“Why didn’t you sedate her like I instructed?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Well now she’s in the hospital fighting to stay alive because of your stupid mistake. You better pray she survives or else I’ll pay dear old mom a visit before I kill you myself.” The call ended and I tossed the phone back on the table, Jacob hyperventilating at the mystery man’s threat.

Threatening the kid is one thing but bringing his sick mother into this only increases my desire to find this asshole.

“Listen kid, that bastard is not going to do anything to your mother alright.”

“You don’t know that Mr. Castiglione.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, kid. I’ll help you out of this mess but you have to promise me something.” he nodded frantically with his bloodshot eyes glued to my every move.

“I let you live and you walk away from this, all of it. I’ll get to the bottom of this mess and after that I don’t want to see you around, you’re going to leave Amy behind, forget about her completely. I don’t suppose I have to make that any more clearer to you.”

“N-no sir.”

“Good and another thing-” I balled my fist and punched him square in the face, I’m obviously still pissed off at the asshole.

“The next time a lady tells you to take her home, you take her home.” he groaned in pain and I left him there, using his front door this time.

Fucking asshole.

—

By the time I made it back to the hospital, the sun began to make its way into the sky, waking the city in its rise. Y/N fell asleep with her head on Amy’s hospital bed, still holding on to the kid’s hand.

How am I going to tell her someone’s after the kid?

We finally got to a good place, our son could be here any day now and with this, I fear I might slip back into old habits. I can’t do that to my family, I can’t afford to be that person again but I also can’t sit back and wait until Mahoney solves this.

I worked so hard on being a better man for my family and now this shit happens. No matter how many times I try to escape this part of me it always finds a way to rare its ugly head and I fear that it'll end up consuming me in the end.

Christ.

I wanted to kill Jacob, I wanted to watch the life drain out of his eyes as I drove the knife repeatedly into his body but in that moment all I heard was Amy's voice telling me not too. That piece of scum better take my advice and leave or else I'll really kill him for playing with her heart.

“Hey sweetheart.” my lips ghosted her cheek as I gently woke her up, she needs to lie down on a proper bed to sleep otherwise she’s going to have severe back pain later on.

“Frank?” rubbing her eyes, she sat up and released a heavy sigh.

“I should take you home to get some rest, we can come back later to check up on her.” she shook her head no and leaned back into her seat.

“Sweetheart.”

“Did you find him?” her hands rested on her bump as she spoke, averting her eyes from Amy’s unconscious body.

I can either lie and spare her the extra stress or tell the truth and have to restrain her from going out there to find this man herself. Come on Castle, make a decision.

“Frank?”

“No, he was long gone by the time I got to his place."

I feel bad for lying to her but it's for her own good, at least that's what I'm telling myself.

----

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[transcharliekelly]

top ten genders in it's always sunny

(number one being the most gender and ten being the least, relative to the rest of the list)

starting off strong with number ten we've got the duster

modeled here by one mac mcdonald. i just feel like if my gender were a hamburger wearing this would sorta be like ketchup.

for number nine we've got mac and dee's outfits in 03.14

bonus points awarded for the raging bisexuality i feel when looking at this image.

number eight brings us the one and only special agent jack bauer

i'm expecting this one to be the least relatable on the list and yet i feel no shame in adding him, nor do i intend to explain myself

number seven is dennis' ridiculous gay little construction outfit

look at that. love that little fruit. he looks like the gay neighbour your dad had in the eighties that he shows you a picture of and tells you "oh, yeah, this was burt. he lived with his roommate next door to us for thirty years". and then you're like, "dad, they were gay." and he has a moderately sized crisis about that and it's a whole messy thing

number six! i present to the judges: charles kelly

"why has charlie managed to evade the specificity of the rest of this list?" you ask. "he's an entire character. you couldn't narrow it down even a bit?". to that, i say this: get your head out of your ass.

bear with me here we're about to get a little weird. for number five, the fumigation tent from the world series defence.

i dont actually know how to explain this one but i know im right. i was actually going to put it higher but i felt like i had to be at least a little reasonable, so it sits at the midway point and you all get a small glimpse into the abyss that is my gender identity

number four is, again stick with me, frank's spider man outfit

if you follow me on twitter (@/bl00docean) you've likely heard this tune before, since i cant shut the fuck up about it, but i feel it's justified.

before we get into our top three, let's hear some runners up:

- bill ponderosa's goth child

- dennis' chemical toilet outfit BUT specifically when he goes to charlie's apartment afterwards and has jeans on over it

- whatever that guy charlie was in love with in dennis and dee's mom is dead had going on

- mac in mac and charlie: white trash

- charlie in mac and charlie: white trash

great! home stretch! thanks for sticking with me, folks. number three is this screenshot of mac and charlie in macdp1

look at that. obviously the gender is off the rails in this whole scene but this image is just... i want to take the gender here and bottle it.

number two! coming in hot we've got mac's chemical toilet outfit

incredible. no notes. rcg you've commited plenty of crimes and good god is having him only look like this for one scene out of the whole show one of them.

and finally, in first place, we've got the disgusting men's bathroom at paddy's

wow. high likelihood of contacting a venereal disease if you breathe in too much of the air. heinous checkered floors you could drown in. i could write an essay about the trans-ness of the yuck puddle alone. perfection.

[a-cure-for-writers-block]

#100 Song Lyric Prompts

No one specifically requested, but I wanted to do this so bad! Here we go...

“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song

“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single

“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong

“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor” “They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.” “But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*

“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I'm seeing?

“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose

“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour

“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home

“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin

“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.” “You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan

“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.” “I'll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role

“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version

“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan” “That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me

“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you” “Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect

“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who's gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless

“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**

“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like

“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side

“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*

“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*

“Please stay as long as you need, can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn

“When you move, I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play

“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*

“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*

“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*

“I don't ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You

“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me

“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted

“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*

“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry

“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun

“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult

“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus

“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? 'Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday

“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It

“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t

“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused

“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let's get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request

“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*

“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan

“She's soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She's so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she's exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade

“And her lips are like the galaxy's edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella

“It's how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church

“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break

“When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“She said, ‘Baby, I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don't rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it's all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty

“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me

“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater

“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you'd be so proud of what we've made.” Stephen, Crossfire

“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud

“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete

“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*

“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs

“Naked and fallin' in love, look here I got you. Safe where there's no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach

“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight

“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven't seen you in months but it's okay. I'd forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were...”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay

“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he's playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)

“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don't look back, you know we're better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we're better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays

“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*

“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love

“Don't ask questions you don't wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.” “Deadly fever, please don't ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction

“And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine

“And I realize you're mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image

“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we're upon, will you dye your hair dark so you're no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne

“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*

“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I'm the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we're older, I'm the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure

“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what's left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she'd love to meet you, but it's too bad she won't get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992

“I'm running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I'm just lost in this moment, I've been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u

“Standing on your mama's porch, you told me that you'd wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69

“I'll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I'll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long

“Getting my mind right, I'll wait 'til the time's right. I'm meaning to tell you why it's hard to sleep at night. There's nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don't you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated

“We haven't spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table

“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you'll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova

“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I've been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we've shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain't fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face

“Welcome to your life, there's no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World

“I'm wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I'm wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake

“If you don't realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful

“I always knew that we'd be by each other's side forever, now our time has come and I'd be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate's fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I'd be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene

“There's still so much to say, I'm faded, broken, pretending you're on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night, like I'll be fine and I'll be over this.”- NYK, Faded

“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well

“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly

“It's been a long night in New York city, it's been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don't remember you looking any better, but then again, I don't remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says

“They say that love kills, it ain't quite what it seems, don't be shocked when you lost what you called ‘meant to be’.”- StayLoose, Bryce Fox, Sociopath

“When they come for You, I will shield Your name, I will field their questions, I will feel Your pain.”- Kanye West, Ultralight Beam

“Two steps forward, one step back and it won’t be long til my heart attack, yup! And common sense falls second place to the way it feels when you kiss my face, yup!”- The Band CAMINO, 2 / 14

“Leaving empty souls when he avenged, evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade.”- Morcheeba, Blood Like Lemonade

“Your smile will become a classic; the brilliance of sunlight, the haziness of the moonlight exist for the sake of promises.”- WayV, Moonwalk

Dear God, I hope you got the letter and I pray you can make it better down here. I don't need a big reduction in the price of beer, but all the people that you made in your image- see them starving on their feet.”- Lawless, Sydney Wayser, Dear God

“Down below, sandy, like the ocean floor, quiet, like I like it; here I'll never be alone.”- slenderbodies, anemone

“I love everything, fire spreading all around my room, my world's so bright, it's hard to breathe but that's alright- hush.”- Sub Urban, Cradles

“I'm telling myself, I'm telling myself, ‘I don't need you anymore’.”- Lia Marie Johnson, Cold Heart Killer

“So I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind, it turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that's not a lie. Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine- it's killing me slowly.” Lana Del Rey,  Fuck it I love you

“See, she knows that I love her, but I don't think she'll stay and she knows that I need her, but my love's lost its weight. Spend my days longing for something real, spend my days stuck in the way I feel.”- JOBA, Sad Saturdays

[dweetwise]

Hello, can I request a headcannon with the killers that has s/o that has a German Shepard as a pet and would take to trail as to protect and guard s/o.

[yes you can i love dogs asdfdg this made me so happy ;w;]

sort of crack what else is new

Killers X reader with German Shepherd

Evan will pretend to be disgusted by doggo and avoid you two. “Real men don’t care about animals,” his father’s words echo in his head. Still, he won’t place any bear traps the entire trial out of concern for puppy’s safety. Please take the dog to meet him properly after the trial, he’ll warm up to the idea of pets in no time.

Philip loves animals. When he rings his bell and uncloaks to approach you, puppy is spooked and he’ll be so disappointed! He’ll throw the entire trial to hang out with you two, trying to build trust with the dog, and is so happy when it finally lets him pet it!

Max is, um... ABORT MISSION OK. He has some unresolved issues with animals (see: cow tree incident) and you’ll need to hide puppy and give Max a very stern talking to before introducing them. Once Max realizes animal = fren, he’ll become instant besties with puppy!

Sally won’t be overjoyed but is willing to put up with the dog for your sake. “Can you stop barking, I’m trying to have a conversation with my partner,” she’ll scold the dog when it, understandably, is confused by a floating ghost lady approaching its master.

Michael ignores the dog entirely. It could chomp down on his leg and he’d just keep walking. One time, you were whisked away to a trial while you were visiting Haddonfield with your dog, only to return after to find Michael laying motionless on the floor with the dog sprawled out on his face, Michael refusing to move to acknowledge the animal.

Lisa immediately lunges for the dog upon seeing it. “LISA NO DON’T EAT —” you start, when you see she’s just hugging the puppy tightly, while it’s frozen in place and very confused why there’s a tiny person covered in mud clinging to it. “I used to have a dog when I was a child!” she’ll excitedly tell you while giving head pats to the dog with her non-taloned hand.

Anna will look at puppy, cocking her head while humming, with the dog mirroring the action to listen to her lullaby. “You bring food?” she finally asks you, pointing at the animal with her axe. “NO! He’s my friend!” you’re quick to explain. Anna ends up training the dog to locate survivors in trials, and now neither of you are allowed to bring it into trials with you anymore.

Herman... oh lord have mercy. Herman giggles maniacally while approaching the animal, shock charging in his hand. “DON’T,” you warn sternly, protectively stepping in front of the growling doggo. He huffs in disappointment, before shocking you instead. Your scream is more from frustration than pain, but puppy launches himself at Herman, biting into the killer’s arm. “Hmm... interesting reaction,” Herman muses to himself, lifting his bloodied arm (dog still hanging on) and not seeming to care about the pain.

Bubba is terrified of the dog. Even when you manage to get him to pet it after gently coaxing both him and the dog, his hand is shaking. It’s going to take a lot of work to get him to trust such a ‘scary-looking’ animal.

Frank thinks German Shepherds are cool as fuck and fit his ‘badass’ image. He’ll often sneak puppy away from you, prancing around with it in the killers’ camp or trials to try to look tough. That being said, he’s secretly a huge softie and you’ll often find him cuddling the dog in his sleep when he thinks no one will see.

Joey just wants to chill with you and puppy. He’ll let the dog climb all over him and give him sloppy puppy kisses, and he’ll carry the dog around in his lap like a chihuahua. If your dog didn’t sleep in your bed before, too bad it does now because “He’s a family member and is not sleeping on the floor!” according to your boyfriend.

Julie is more of a cat person, but she’s more than happy to play with the dog. When she’s trowing the same stick for the 35th time in their game of fetch, you sneak off to repair a generator and neither of them notice.

Susie... well. “Who’s a good boy? A-who’s a good boy!? You are! Yes you are!” She loves the dog almost as much as she does you and will be extremely sad if you ever visit her without bringing your furry companion with you.

Danny won’t notice the dog at first, sneaking up to you in a trial and smacking your ass playfully. When you yelp in surprise, puppy growls and pounces on the killer, tacking him to the ground. Danny is screaming bloody murder while thrashing under the animal, while the dog is not even doing anything, just looking at him like ‘wtf is wrong with this dude’. It takes you a while to get puppy off of him because you’re laughing so hard.

Caleb is pretty cool with the concept of you having a dog. He doesn’t particularly like pets, but is willing to put up with it. Though he will snark at you to get the dog under control every time it starts growling when he kisses you or if, god forbid, it dares to jump on the bed with you.

Adiris will be like “Ah, a creature made to serve me”. She takes its leash and just... prances around in the trial, puppy following obediently behind her. When she gives the dog back, she’ll praise you for training it so well and give you a big smooch.

Kazan will be surprisingly accepting of the dog, as the most honorable samurai of his time had canine companions. It’s not the same breed, but hey, can’t be picky in the fog. Prepare for a couple of arguments when he wants to teach the dog to maul survivors and you just want it to be a cuddly friend.

Rin is wary of puppy and the feeling is mutual. She's pretty misinformed about the breed, but will be reassured when she sees how well-trained puppy is. Some mischief ensues when puppy once mistakes her floating leg as a new toy and takes off with it, causing an angry Rin to phase after it to catch up.

Pyramid Head will just stare at the dog, then tilt his headpiece in an unimpressed manner as if to say “Really?”. He’ll come around once he realizes puppy makes a fantastic guard dog, and he’ll let it roam the halls of the school outside of trials to look for intruders while he focuses on spending more time with you.

Amanda vibes with the breed being misunderstood and instantly wants to be a puppy mom. She’ll make a spiked collar for the dog, despite your protests. Will make a very pretty picture laying on the couch chilling with the dog, wearing her leather jacket and puppy wearing his new studded leather collar.

(Bonus: Clown running as fast as his chubby legs will carry him while Freddy is getting mauled by the dog into a bloody pile next to him. Clown slips on a pile of dog poop and the animal catches up to him, lunging for his throat. A small distance away, you’re watching the spectacle unfold with Quentin who high-fives you with a smug grin.)

(Bonus 2: The Demogorgon finds you in a trial, but puppy jumps in front of you and growls at the killer. Demo screeches, opening his maw wide and causing puppy to slink down in submission and whimper pathetically. Demo closes his mouth and cocks his head. Puppy starts wagging his tail and curious butt sniffing ensues between the dog and the killer.)

[an-angels-blessing]

Song Prompts #1

“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song

“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single

“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong

“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor”

“They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.”

“But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*

“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I’m seeing?

“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose

“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour

“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home

“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin

“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.”

“You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan

“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.”

“I’ll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role

“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version

“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan”

“That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me

“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you”

“Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect

“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who’s gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless

“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**

“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like

“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side

“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*

“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*

“Please stay as long as you need, can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn

“When you move, I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move

I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play

“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*

“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*

“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*

“I don’t ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You

“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me

“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted

“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*

“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry

“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun

“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult

“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus

“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? ‘Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday

“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It

“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t

“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused

“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let’s get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request

“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*

“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan

“She’s soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She’s so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she’s exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade

“And her lips are like the galaxy’s edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella

“It’s how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church

“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break

“When you move I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“She said, ‘Baby, I’m afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it’s not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don’t rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it’s all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty

“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me

“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater

“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you’d be so proud of what we’ve made.” Stephen, Crossfire

“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud

“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete

“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*

“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs

“Naked and fallin’ in love, look here I got you. Safe where there’s no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach

“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight

“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven’t seen you in months but it’s okay. I’d forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were…”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay

“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he’s playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)

“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don’t look back, you know we’re better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we’re better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays

“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*

“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love

“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.”

“Deadly fever, please don’t ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don’t self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction

“And it’s worth it, it’s divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine

“And I realize you’re mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image

“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we’re upon,

will you dye your hair dark so you’re no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne

“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*

“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I’m the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we’re older, I’m the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure

“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what’s left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she’d love to meet you, but it’s too bad she won’t get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992

“I’m running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I’m just lost in this moment, I’ve been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u

“Standing on your mama’s porch, you told me that you’d wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69

“I’ll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I’ll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long

“Getting my mind right, I’ll wait 'til the time’s right. I’m meaning to tell you why it’s hard to sleep at night. There’s nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don’t you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated

“We haven’t spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won’t you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table

“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you’ll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova

“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I’ve been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we’ve shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain’t fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face

“Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World

“I’m wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I’m wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake

“If you don’t realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful

“I always knew that we’d be by each other’s side forever, now our time has come and I’d be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate’s fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I’d be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene

“There’s still so much to say, I’m faded, broken, pretending you’re on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night,

like I’ll be fine and I’ll be over this.”- NYK, Faded

“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand

Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well

“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly

“It’s been a long night in New York city, it’s been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don’t remember you looking any better, but then again, I don’t remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says

Prompts 101-119

[fairymascot]

Ugh. I really wanna see more of Rachel Amber, but I'm also not sure about buying Before the Storm? Please Advise?? (Also I'm replaying Life Is Strange and just got to Ep. 4 and I'm not sure I'm ready for what's gonna go down; it's been years. T__T)

oh boy, you’ve found JUST the person to ask because i have So Many Opinions on before the storm. lemme just list ‘em out for you.

CONS

*characterization: there’s a lot of questionable choices there. the worst offenders in this regard are the supporting characters, specifically nathan, frank, and david. they’ve all been woobified into troubled men-boys with their hearts in the right place who just needed a hug all along. it’s bad. since they’re minor, at least, that stuff can be overlooked with greater ease, but then there’s the matter of rachel amber.

if you have a concrete image of rachel in your mind from playing lis1 and interacting with the older fandom, then i can tell you right now bts rachel is going to have very little to do with it. deck9 unabashedly threw out some of the basic aspects of her character to make her more appealing to the hipster audience – like wanting to be a model, being a party girl, sleeping around with men. because that’s sooo shallow and icky and nobody wants that, right?

chloe’s writing suffers some issues as well. there’s a certain extent of defanging and idealization of her character to make her simultaneously more pitiful and more noble and heroic. while it’s a decision i understand, to make her more palatable as a protagonist, it leads to some odd and dodgy writing in places.

*episode 3 personally broke into my house, beat up my grandma and pissed on my floor. i literally do not have the words to describe how much i hate that goddamn episode, and how it absolutely marred the entire game experience for me.

*consistency: this ties into the characterization issues mentioned above, but basically, it’s near impossible to fully compromise bts’ characters and story with lis. there’s so many inconsistencies that they’re just incompatible, which is a pretty big point against bts considering it’s meant to be a prequel.

PROS

*rachel is not rachel, but i’m in love with her anyway. i mean, it’s a shame she’s got so little to do with what we know of rachel in lis, but she’s still a fantastic character that i would personally die for. she’s built up really well while and carries a powerful air of intrigue while still having a lot of vulnerability, and you completely understand why chloe is so in love with her. also, marvelous voice acting.

*chloe. despite my above criticisms, deck9 also did a fantastic job of fleshing out her character. they captured her voice very well, added a lot of depth and nuance and little quirks to make her feel like a real person. getting to play as her is awesome, and a very different experience to playing as max while still feeling distinctively life is strange-y.

*amberprice. if you liked the romantic storyline between max and chloe in lis, then HOO BOY have i got some great news for you, as it only gets gayer from here. it does fall under the inconsistency problem, because deck9 makes rachel and chloe’s relationship so intense, so romantic, and so ride-or-die from the get go that rachel’s actions in lis become unfathomable, but also, like… i’m gay and it’s real good. while the romance in lis1 feels like it was incorporated because it would be, like, nice and cute (which is not a bad reason whatsoever!), chloe and rachel’s love story feels like deck9′s actual magnum opus. you can really tell they put in the time and dedication to make an authentic lesbian coming of age story for chloe, something that their gay players could really see themselves in – and for the most part, they did an absolutely wonderful job.

*the technical aspects are all top notch. soundtrack, art, animation, atmosphere – it takes everything that was good about lis and improves on it. daughter’s music is delightful, but what i also really like is how the soundtrack has a few blaring, kickass tracks of the kind chloe would be absolutely into, that wouldn’t really fit into the lis1 soundtrack at all. it sets it apart more, which is neat. the character models look a lot better, and oh my god, the ACTING and FACIAL ANIMATION is lightyears ahead of lis1 (and of lis2, from the looks of it. shame on dontnod). getting to see those characters actually EMOTE is like… mindblowing, i’m not kidding. 

*even with their flaws, playing the first two eps for the first time was an amazing experience for me! and the bonus episode, farewell, is one of my favorite parts of the entire franchise.

IN SUMMARY: i would say yes, play it, but only get 20 minutes into episode 3 before skipping ahead to farewell because episode 3 is that bad. overall, deck9 are big life is strange fans, and that much is easy to see – there’s a lot of love poured into this game, which is delightful to experience as a fan, but there’s also the kind of skewed and idealized characterization that you often find in fanfiction. sometimes it’s skewing i enjoy, like making amberprice mutually romantic, and sometimes it’s skewing i want to throw out the window, like softboy nathan prescott. all in all, it really is just best to view it as officially-funded fanfiction: take everything with a grain of salt, incorporate the parts you enjoy into your personal headcanon (and there is a lot of good stuff there), and throw out the rest.

(also, good luck surviving the last two eps of lis! hope you’ve got your tissues ready.)

[fokohow]

THE KIA SORENTO 2020: 10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

The incredible success of the big Telluride at Kia has pushed the smaller Sorento back into the shadows. Add to this mischievous fate the fact that Kia’s “old” utility vehicle, born in 2002, is in its third generation, itself already out of phase despite the usual annual alterations. In short, the Sorento is due to the image of its first cousin, the Hyundai Santa Fe, renewed last year. So here are 10 things you should know about a mid-size SUV that straddles the present and the future…

1 Partie remise

Kia had nevertheless planned to introduce the 4th generation Sorento in great style at the Geneva Motor Show after having given a preview of it on February 17th in South Korea. But you-know-what caused the cancellation of the event. The manufacturer partially made up for it by letting pictures of the new exterior and interior flow.

2 Oh the beautiful look!

The revamped Sorento, which according to our crystal ball will be on sale by the end of the year as the 2021 vintage, abandons the ovoid and, let’s be frank, rather anonymous hull in favour of a much more athletic build where the angles and reliefs give themselves over to the heart’s content.

3 Easy as pie

The current Sorento features a dashboard that is overflowing with user-friendliness. In fact, we’re immediately pleased with two features. First, the fact that a few good old-fashioned buttons are right where you’d expect them; two, the electronic UVO interface displayed on the 7-inch centre screen (and even 8-inch when you check off the navigation) is very pleasant to use, the speed with which a techno-analphabetic like me manages to connect his phone being the best proof.

4 Avant-garde design

In the future Sorento, while the modernisation of the interior is obvious, it is hoped that the ease of use has remained intact. The conventional transmission lever has been replaced by a rotary selector. The two generous side-by-side displays (12.3″ for the dials, 10.3″ for the infotainment) are sumptuous, while the air vents, in the centre and near the doors, feature a novel shape (a sort of vertical diamond) that projects the cabin’s look far into the 21st century.

5 A 4 or a 6?

So far in North America, the Sorento has had three gasoline engines. In 2018, Kia has abandoned the 2.0L Turbo, which in the end proved to be as gluttonous as the V6. The 3.3L is still in the catalogue, as is the 2.4L 4-cylinder.

If your little family already costs you enough as it is, select this less expensive powertrain. Its 185 horsepower and 178 lb-ft of torque, combined with a 6-speed automatic transmission, will be enough to transport your tribe members without worry. The only downside is its towing capacity of only 907 kg.

If that doesn’t seem like enough because your cousin, to whom you often give lifts, really likes Vachon’s little cakes, then you’d better turn to the V6’s 290 horsepower and 252 lb-ft of torque, which brings the vehicle’s towing capacity to 2,268 kg, exactly the same as GM’s rival trio, the Acadia, Traverse and Enclave.

As a bonus, your wallet won’t suffer so much during the inevitable stops at the gas pump since the fuel consumption ratings between the 4 and 6 only indicate a small difference of one litre: 11.3L per 100 km for the most fuel-hungry versus 10.2L for the most frugal. Thanks to the 8-speed automatic transmission that has been powering the V6 since 2019.

6 Promise, promise…

In Europe, the manufacturer has rather foamed the 2.4L and a 2.2L turbo-diesel. Since 2017, Kia Canada has been suggesting that we could also benefit from a diesel-powered vehicle, but we’re still waiting for it, and as long as the fumes from Volkswagen’s Dieselgate haven’t completely dissipated, we’ll wait for it…

7 Long live the electrons!

That said, there are better things on the horizon. For the fourth-generation model, North Americans would receive a hybrid engine where a 180-hp, 1.6L turbocharged 4-cylinder with 180 horsepower would be paired with a 60-stallion electric motor. The combined power of 227 horsepower would be available as a regular and rechargeable hybrid.

The jump to hybridity for the Sorento seems normal given that Kia is already electrifying the Niro and Soul. So what will happen to the 2.4L and 3.3L gasoline-powered models? Rumours suggest a 277-horsepower, 2.5L 4-cylinder turbocharged 2.5L as a replacement.

8 Well thought out

Instead of the usual five seats, you can get seven if you choose the V6. To access the back seats, the Sorento uses an ingenious system: press one of the buttons located near the headrests of the middle seat and the targeted section (60/40) instantly obeys, the backrest folds down and the seat moves forward. The result: a passage that makes it much easier to access both folding seats.

9 Various variants

The South Korean manufacturer has made a wise decision by ceasing to send us a low-end version equipped only with front-wheel drive. From now on, Dynamax all-wheel drive is standard on all versions. And don’t look any further for the SXL model that used to occupy the top of the pyramid. Since it was priced over $50,000, marketing gurus avoided cannibalism between the most expensive Sorento and the most affordable Telluride. In short, right now, you can choose from no less than seven versions of the Sorento with base prices ranging from $32,905 to $48,255.

10 Let’s talk about capacity

If you leave all the backrests of the vehicle at attention, there’s only 320 litres of cargo left in the rear. So, if the Sorento already holds seven healthy adults and you’re all off to the cottage together, you’ll have to choose between going without clothes or food.

But if you fold down all the seatbacks, you’ll be able to rob a flea market of its finest antiques thanks to the 2,082 litres of cargo space. Since the wheelbase of the new Sorento will be a bit longer (1.4″), it will be slightly more spacious.

In my own way, I tested the Sorento’s volume differently. I started by wanting to buy myself a paddle board. My shopping turned into an uncertain expedition when I discovered that Quebecers, failing to go on holiday in Europe this summer, were gargling like hungry ogres on all the summer toys. Finding a personal watercraft, a swimming pool or a paddle board in June had become mission impossible.

Finally, the god of the heat wave blessed me and I found one. Since it was exactly 10 feet 6 inches tall (it says so right on it), I got a little fright: how do I get it home?

But, ladies and gentlemen, my purchase went into the Sorento the whole way through as if the engineers had planned the vehicle’s size according to the board! Seeing how lucky I was, I naturally did what the TV recommends we do in such cases: I bought a 6/49 ticket.

[fieldsofplay]

Top Albums of 2019

Top Albums of 2019.

25.  William Tyler – Goes West

For those of you reading along, I want to thank you for sticking with this blog for basically an entire decade at this point. Jeez, where does the time* go? To that end, I’m gonna put out a decade list sometime next week, so to keep my sanity somewhat in check, this years tops list is going to be a little more abbreviated than usual. A few less records, a few less words, but still the same self indulgence you’ve come to know and expect.  To that end, William Tyler.  Tied for my favorite cover art with IGOR.  This is beautiful finger-picked cosmic acoustic guitar music with some nice flourishes added by Brad Cook and the usual suspects.  Perfect for fall days.  I accidentally heckled him at a concert about the Andy Griffith show, but I was only trying to say he shouldn’t be ashamed about liking that program.  The shame still haunts me, much like this music. *A fictional social construct

24.  Floating Points – Crush

Now I’m not going to sit here and pretend to know much about electronic music.  I don’t know the deep history, I don’t know the technical lingo, but like pornography, I know it when I hear it.  Much has been made about the impact opening for the XX and being limited to minimal gear while doing so had on Sam Shephard, and I’ll admit the differences from Elaenia is palpable.  Where that album felt minimal, Crush is maximal, bursting with colors and ideas, not unlike the beautiful painting that adorns its cover.  I never quite knew what the phrase Intelligent Dance Music was supposed to mean, but to me, that’s precisely what this is. You could dance to “LesAlpx” if you wanted, or you could just throw it on headphones and drift away to its unceasing pulse. Find you a man who can do both.

23.  Nerija – Blume

Let me be the first to tell you that jazz is back! Centering largely in London, there is thrilling music being made by the likes of Sons of Kemet, The Comet is Coming, and this year, by Nerija. Breathing new life into a long moribund form (at least until Kendrick Lamar started featuring jazz musicians on his albums), Blume literally does just that, unfurling jazz from a long dormancy.  While I’m not normally a fan of the guitar in jazz, here it keeps the whole thing moving forward, as the horns swirl around in a supportive role and the percussion cooks.  “Riverfest” is the best exemplar, as the guitar chimes with joy while the cymbal-crashes enliven the vibe.

22.  Florist – Emily Alone

A tale as old time (song as old as rhyme): member of ambient-electronic band puts out solo acoustic album, about the sadness of moving to LA and finding oneself.  No one is reinventing the wheel here, but I can’t help but feel little touches of Florist’s electronic full-band output in Emily Sprague’s solo record—the way the words repeat, subtly, but building meaning with each little phrasal repetition. Plus, the ocean is a recurring image, and dear lord do I miss the sea. If you want to listen a sad girl sing sad songs accompanied by acoustic guitar, you aren’t going to do better than Emily Alone this year.

21.  Kevin Morby – Oh My God

Possibly the best Kevin Morby record?  No one else would say that, but I will.  If so, why is it so far down the list? Well, when you consistently put out amazing records year-after-year it becomes difficult for any individual album to make an imprint on the “culture.” I think “Seven Devils” is possibly his finest tune.

20.  Sacred Paws – Run Around the Sun

My friend David turned me on to this band right before I was about to embark on a road trip up north in the middle of the summer, and let me tell you, that was the perfect time to first experience Run Around the Sun.  Noodly guitars burst out of every seam on this record, as bubblegum lyrics tie the whole shebang together.  If you ever wondered what the Shangri-las would sound like if Johnny Marr played lead guitar, I give you Sacred Paws.

19.  Jamila Woods – Legacy! Legacy!  

On Legacy! Legacy! Woods takes the R&B of the excellent Heavn and applies a jazzier sheen, to excellent results.  One need look no further than the track titles (“Frida,” “Miles,” “Basquiat,” “Baldwin,” “Sun Ra” etc.) to see that Woods is consciously engaging with the titans of history, and here, while she doesn’t exactly reach the heights of those innovators, she certainly begins to carve out a legacy of her own as one of the best voices in a currently thriving R&B scene.

18.  Mt. Eerie & Julie Doiron – Lost Wisdom, Pt. 2

On Lost Wisdom, Pt. 2 Phil Elverum (of The Microphones) and Julie Doiron (of Eric’s Trip) recapture the magic they bottled on the first Lost Wisdom back in 2008.  It is hard to imagine sparer music than this, but the duo make so much of a pair of voices and few plucked guitar or banjo lines.  As with all of his music of late (for obvious reasons), loss hangs all over Elverum’s output, but here, the loss is more mood and less of a literal presence (with the exception of the blistering “Widows”).  Few songs I can think of capture a single, specifically odd phenomenon quite like “When I Walk Out of the Museum.”

17.  DIIV – Deceiver

As capital-G guitar music recedes further into irrelevance, it’s good to still have a band like DIIV kicking around, who make shoegaze like it’s still 1991.  And it’s a good thing they are still making their beautiful walls of feedback, as heroine has repeatedly knocked this band off the rails of what appeared to be a very promising career.  This is ominous, portentous music, that swirls with white noise and black despair.  Shoegaze is premised on making beauty out of the squall of overdriven electric guitars, and DIIV make beauty of the squall of 21st century opiate addiction.

16.  Earl Sweatshirt – Feet of Clay

Earl continues the excellent experimentation of Some Rap Songs in the (slightly) more structured Feet of Clay.  Whereas Some Rap Songs felt like fragments, the tracks on Feet of Clay (almost) feel like “songs” proper.  Earl continues to quickly sweep the ground out from underneath you, whether it’s in the form of oddly woozy backing tracks that can’t really be called “beats” or the sub 2-minute run times, but he seems to pack slightly more structure into those abbreviated entrants, even if there are a lot less of them than there were on Some Rap Songs.  Right now no one is pushing the boundaries of hip-hop like Earl, and each new release, even if the total run time is under 15 minutes, is a thrilling event.

15.  Better Oblivion Community Center – S/T

Yes, last year I had Boygenius as my number one record, but if I’m being frank, and I am, this is the better collaborative album put out by Phoebe Bridgers.  At first blush a record between the up-and-coming Bridgers and the largely has-been Conor Oberst seems like a desperate grab at continued relevance by the latter, but having seen them live, I must admit the pairing makes perfect sense.  The energy between the two is infectious, and while they share a common fascination with emo, they really draw the best out of each other.  Bridgers plays the Emmylou Harris role from I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning to perfection, and Oberst plays the Kenny Rodgers in “Islands in the Stream.”  For a period I could not turn on Radio K without hearing a song from this album, which is strange because, as a college radio station, every hour is usually completely different.

14.  Chromatics – Closer to Grey

In a certain way, Chromatics are victims of their own tendency towards self-mythologizing.  Their last two official albums were absolutely perfect slices of Italo-Disco, equal parts late night ennui and seething dancefloor longing.  There was way more guitar on those albums than most anyone would appreciate on first glance, and yet Ruth Radelet’s smoky vocals were unquestionably the star.  In the interim Johnny Jewel (the mastermind behind the band and basically everything on Italians Do it Better) famously destroyed all the copies of the long teased Dear Tommy after a near death experience, provided essential music to Twin Peaks: The Return (which included multiple Chromatics performances at the dear Road House), and then suddenly dropped Closer to Grey out of the sky, with neither warning nor fanfare.  This record is everything you would want a Chromatics record to be, but perhaps that is part of the reason it didn’t really make a major impression. It felt a little Chromatics-by-the-numbers, right down to the cover of “The Sound of Silence” to open it up.  I absolutely love this album, and if it weren’t for the incredible quality of albums put out this year, it would certainly be a top-10 or top-5 in any other year (hell, in the terrible-for-music 2018 it would have been number one by a mile).  Perhaps the biggest frustration is just how fucking good “Light as a Feather” is.  It hints at a version of Chromatics influenced by Portishead, and now that’s all I want more of.

13.  Thom Yorke – ANIMA

Doubt it if you will, you sneering youngsters, but Thom Yorke and his more well-known band are currently making some of the best music of their careers.  Just as A Moon Shaped Pool was a much needed return to form after the completely forgettable King of Limbs, with ANIMA Yorke gets back to what made The Eraser so compelling all the way back in 2006.  While a fondness for Aphex Twin is no longer at all exceptional in rock music in 2019, it was in 2006, and with ANIMA, Yorke gets back to the creepy, clicky, paranoid distrust of modern consumer culture that is solidly his wheelhouse.  Bonus points for using Netflix and a pairing with PTA to make America care about a long form music video again in 2019.

12.  Black Marble – Bigger than Life

I would call black Marble my favorite new band of the year, but the thing is, they aren’t new, just new to me.  Bigger than Life is their third record, and first for Sacred Bones (whose distinctive album art is what first caught my eye).  Because their music is comprised solely of arpeggiated synths, melodic bass, and clinking drum machines, overlaid with melancholicly narrow vocals, it is easy to accuse Black Marble of being a little same-y.  However, if you, like me, worship at the temple of New Order, than this is the band for you.  I have lived with their three extant albums the last couple months (the second, It’s Immaterial, being my favorite), and in reality, this is really the only music I want to listen to.

11.  Big Thief – U.F.O.F. / Two Hands

If you’re reading this than you likely already know how much I love Big Thief, and you might be a little surprised that one, if not both, of the records they put out this year is not sitting atop this list based on how much I’ve professed my love for this band over the course of 2019.  So here’s the thing, the highs on both of these albums--“U.F.O.F.” “Not”--are better than anything else anyone has done this year, but to my ear both records suffer from a flew blah-ish passages that prevent either album, on its own, from achieving top status.  However, if you borrow a few tracks here (Cattails, Contact) and a few tracks there (Shoulders, Two Hands) and made one album out of the highlights of both sessions, you would unquestionably have the album of the year.  That Big Thief gave us two records brimming with amazing folk rock ideas is a blessing.

10.  Sharon Van Etten – Remind Me Tomorrow

Hey, do you remember Sharon Van Etten put out an amazing record in 2019? I bet you don’t.  The culture moves so fast these days that albums from January might as well have been released five years ago, and it seems to me like this record slipped off a few peoples’ radars as the year progressed, which is a shame, considering how damn good it is (her best imho).  There are few runs on an album I’ve enjoyed more this year than “Jupiter 4’s” electro-throb into “Seventeen’s” Springsteen chug into “Malibu’s” comedown.  Bonus points for being my dear friend Hadley’s downstairs neighbor for all those years.  Ah Brooklyn, how I miss thee.

9.  Black Midi – Schlagenheim

Yes, that most reliable of music-critic tropes: the hot young band from London.  Black Midi made waves with a legendary youtube video of their live show, and having seen it in person, let me tell you, even that now infamous video doesn’t do them justice.  Much like its gobldy-gook made up title, Schlagenheim is an amalgamation of strands of music that don’t really fit together but somehow they pull off with aplomb.  At times they play with the hardcore fury of Minor Threat, while at others the proggy interconnectivity of Rush at their most arena-rockish, all with a weird dash of David Byrne wiry energy holding it all together.  If they come to your town, go see them, just don’t stand in the front unless you want to be swept into the maelstrom.

8.  Helado Negro – This is How You Smile

Did you love Little Joy (the Strokes sideproject) but wish it was occasionally electronic and periodically in Spanish? If so, I give you Helado Negro. This is the prettiest record of the year; it never goes above a certain emotional register / decibel range, but it inhabits the spectrum in which it lives like a ghost in its occasional electronic flourishes.  This is a record for someone with a long drive with something to think about. “Seen my Aura” is simultaneously funky and restrained, acoustic and electronic, and emblematic of the joys of This is How You Smile.

7.  Sturgill Simpson – Sound & Fury

Each of Sturgill Simpson’s last three records have been fundamentally different from one another, and each has been excellent, which is almost impossible to accomplish.  Metamodern Sounds in Country Music introduced many, like myself, to a new voice in an often overlooked medium, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth dusted off the horns from Elvis’s stax-era and romped around, and now with Sound & Fury Sturgill looks to the outlaw tradition (and ZZ freakin Top) he’s so-often been associated with, but rarely resembled, to crank out an incredible record that is far more “rock” than it is “country.” Throw on a heaping of 80’s-era Springsteen synths and you have the recipe for a record that makes me very, very happy.  The two halves of “Make Art not Friends” have little business coexisting within a single track (the first half sounds like Tangerine Dream, the second half Arcade Fire) and yet it is precisely in this tenuous cohabitation that Sturgill has produced his best record to date.

6.  Vampire Weekend – Father of the Bride

Vampire Weekend started out their career being accused of stealing from Graceland and ended up becoming Paul Simon.  Funny how that works out sometimes.  Modern Vampires of the City has become, next to Sound of Silver, the definitive record about life in New York during my era (2005-2016).  On the follow up, the band, newly shorn of Rostam Batmanglij (whose solo record is also phenomenal, even though he’s maybe one of the worst performers I’ve ever seen), decamped to California, and Father of the Bride revels in both the California sun and a well earned sense of accomplishment.  “Hold You Now” is my favorite song of the year, it is simply stunning.

5.  Bill Callahan – Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest

There is a bit of theme developing here at the top of the list: established artists putting out arguably their best work deep into storied careers, and no one on this list is deeper into a more storied oeuvre than Bill Callahan.  Between Smog and under his own name, Callahan has been releasing consistently great albums since 1992, and to me, Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest is his finest work to date.  Having found domestic bliss, so the press materials state, Callahan is content to sit back and let that world-weary baritone spin out all the comforts of a well-worn chair near a fire in a hearth.  This is the type of record that gives you hope that happiness isn’t the exclusive provenance of the young.

4.  Purple Mountains – Purple Mountains

If I were to really sit and write out all of my thoughts about David Berman this blurb would probably be 10 pages long, at least, so rather than spill a bunch of digital ink lamenting the loss of a true inspiration, I’ll just try and stick to the album itself, which is almost impossible now in the wake of his suicide shortly after its release.  Even on first blush this was a difficult hang, clearly the product of someone who lost their wife to a series of poor decisions / mental difficulties, and who hadn’t come to terms with it.  Understandably so.  Berman remains endlessly quotable, right up to the very end, and “we’re just drinking margaritas at the mall” remains emblematic of his ability to compress the tedium of middle american misery into a single haunting, yet, hilarious, image.  While “Nights that Won’t Happen” lives on as his suicide note directly to the fans (“The dead know what they’re doing when they leave this world behind” ; “all the suffering gets done by the ones we leave behind”), and it is hauntingly beautiful, it still makes me cry every time I hear it. As does most of this record. So the song I’ll carry on with me, and can still actually listen to, is “Snow is Falling in Manhattan.” Just a beautiful song from a beautiful man.  

3.  Tyler, the Creator – IGOR

I really don’t have the words (well, clearly I have some) to express just how impressed I am by the arc of Tyler’s career.  The one-time shock-rap flash in the critical pan quickly turned into forgettable homophobe who perfectly fit a description of Eminem’s fan base I once heard: kids who call their mom a bitch to their face.  The first startling change came with Flower Boy, which came right on the heels of his step out of the closet.  Flower Boy is a really great record, but it still largely sounded like Tyler, just a more mature version who stopped saying cringe worthy shit.  IGOR is something entirely different.  I honestly don’t even know what to call it. It’s not a rap record, and there are honestly entire tracks on it where I’m not sure what it is he does on them, but my god, this thing is incredible.  It’s basically a Parliament album for the end of the world, and if the earth is going to burn down around us, we might as well dance our way out, which is precisely the party Tyler has orchestrated here.  I cannot wait to see what he does next.

2.  Angel Olsen – All Mirrors

All Mirrors isn’t just clearly Angel Olsen’s best album by a clear margin, it is the best pop album made by anyone in sometime.  Just like black clothes make anyone a little slimmer, orchestration can make any pop song sound symphonic, but most pop acts don’t have the power of Angel Olson’s voice to match the bombast of the string section and percussion.  It feels like the term Beatlesesque has started to fade from the critical lexicon, but this music is truly akin to the orchestral richness of “I am the Walrus” or “A Day in the Life.”  People celebrate Lana del Ray for her torch songs (and I really liked Norman Fucking Rockwell, even if it didn’t quite make this list in a stacked year) but no one carries a torch like Angel Olsen.  I was initially reticent to catch her live show this tour, it was on a weeknight, it was cold, I had to go downtown, I’d seen her a couple times already, yadda yadda yadda, but I knew deep down I really wanted to see if she could recreate the power of these songs on stage (the inverse of how that equation usually goes).  Reader: she did.

1.  (Sandy) Alex G – House of Sugar

House of Sugar may not be quite as experimental as IGOR, or as pop-perfect as All Mirrors, but it takes those two impulses and melds them together into what is my favorite album of the year, even if strictly speaking it may not be the “best” as measured against the other entrants in this top 3.  “Hope” was actually a “hit” song on the local college radio station, and understandably so; it sounds like Elliott Smith and tells a comprehensible story about a friend who died from an overdose.  But “Hope” is jut one facet of House of Sugar, which is a veritable hall of musical mirrors.  “Walk Away” is hypnotic in its repetitions, “In My Arms” is a legit straightforward acoustic love song, “Sugar” sounds like The Knife (no joke), “Sugarhouse” could have been on The River, and while I already said “Hold You Now” is my favorite song of the year, “Gretel” has something to say about that.  I saw a show right when this album came out, and as the band left the stage for the final time the soundguy cued up “Gretel” not, I’m guessing, because the band requested it, but because it rules and he just wanted to share it with everyone as they receded into night.