#the gag is? i have never seen such a thing on a mans comment section but EVERY hijabi comment section is like this

[dancemyself]

hijabi girl: posts a cute tiktok

comments section: reminder sister you should be covering your neck. reminder sister the shape of your body should not be showing. reminder sister music is haram. reminder sister you should not post yourself online. reminder sister you should only promote islamic content. reminder sister reminder sister reminder sister remindeeeeeer

[paranoidpoltergeist]

Reviewing all the TMNT movies

I've had a ton of free time and decided it'd be fun to watch and review a bunch of stuff. So I did, except I underestimated the amount of content and now I have to break it down into categories. Why I thought I could watch 8 movies, 5 series, and 3 crossovers in a week I don't know but here we are. Please keep in mind this is my opinion so you might not agree! This is listed in order of when I watched them NOT ranking I'm gonna do that later after I finish the tv shows.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(1990)

MMM a classic I remember first getting this DVD, my mom let me get it out of the $10 bin at the beach because I had lost a tooth. I didn’t remember much about the plot at all so it was like watching a new movie and man did I enjoy it. This was a great movie and one that held up pretty well. I liked the characters, the villain, the plot, and ofc the iconic farmhouse scene we get with just about every series. I even liked the character design surprisingly enough.

Some scenes felt weird, a couple of jokes felt off, and Splinter was literally the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. He looks like a drowned chihuahua. The swearing was written as though the writer's mom never let them curse and they were pretending to be 25 in the youtube comment section or something, but It was great and honestly a pleasant surprise in the wake of all my childhood favorites being ruined by just how bad they were and the end credits song? Iconic. 8/10 will be watching again. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ll: The Secret of the Ooze(1991)

This movie is… good. It’s not a bad movie but it’s more goofs and gags-focused. It got a couple of laughs out of me but it felt somehow too long and also rushed. I’m pretty sure I got Leo and Donnie mixed up 207 times, I could almost never tell who was talking despite having the subtitles on, the villains were the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m still not 100% sure who the science guy is exactly and whether he’s good or bad. In conclusion, I’m now eating a pizza. 6/10 might watch again

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lll(1993)

Well, this is certainly a movie. I don’t even really know what to say, I couldn’t root for Kenshin or even Mitsu and well the turtles are really really ugly. It was funny but I’m not sure if it was a “so bad it's funny” or actually funny. No one was very well fleshed out, the villain was Idk tbh, I don’t feel particularly satisfied, and the “we wanna stay here” thing at the end and then them all suddenly going “no we’ll go home ig” was kinda weird and probably only got put in for screen time. 4/10 I don’t believe I’ll be watching this again. I will, however, be crying bc I am in fact lactose intolerant and that pizza was not worth it. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2014)

Man, I remember going to watch this movie in theaters like it was yesterday. Ignore my nostalgia rant but my dad sucks and never did anything with me so these were the only movies he ever went and watched in theaters, no matter how bad it was that made them infinitely better. I used to watch this movie like every night when I went to sleep so hearing this stupid music was so nostalgic, I adored this movie as a kid and I was almost scared to rewatch it without my rose-tinted glasses.

I have super mixed feelings about this movie, my expectations were so low it actually surprised me. The villains were honestly bad, not much screen time, the foot soldiers just straight up looked bad, I don’t know a lot about Sacks but somehow less about Shredder, Karai looks like she’s going through her 2010 emo phase, Splinter looks like what I can only imagine my cat would if I gave in to the urge to only shave the top of his head and arms, the turtles themselves are ugly, and their backstories mediocre. I could keep going but I did like the way the turtles interacted with each other. It had its funny moments, the soundtrack was good, and I actually quite liked Donnie. In conclusion 6/10 it wasn’t the best but it’s enjoyable and I’d watch it again. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows(2016)

Right, so I hate this movie. I can’t explain it, I've always disliked this movie. I tried super hard to watch it and literally fell asleep. It’s boring, I’m not a huge fan of how they interacted, Bebop and Rocksteady were mid although mildly enjoyable, shredder was once again a blank page, and Kraang just lowkey annoyed me. He was super gross and looked like that one transformer but pink and slimy.

The turtles little “I wanna be human” thing was mediocre and I felt like they just added it on for screentime. Casey was super unmemorable, Baxter was also kinda boring, Karai might as well have not been in the movie at all, and a lot of the jokes fell flat for me. On a more positive note, I liked the trash truck. What sucks is I really wanna like this movie bc we get a lot of characters from the original but it's so boring. 2/10 am going to burn the disk. TMNT(2007)

I was not looking forward to this movie, but surprisingly enough I liked it. I’m sad Mikey and Donnie got barely any screen time but Raph was cool. I liked Karai even though we didn’t see much of her, and the ending left me feeling pretty satisfied. The turtles were once again ugly, Splinter looked like that one macaroni noodle I lost under the fridge, and the villain was just ok. I am however a pretty big fan of the minor character development we get to see.

I’ve watched this movie probably like 4 times now, although it’s been a very long time, and the first time I watched this movie I loved it, the second it was ok, and the 3rd I kinda hated it. I basically got to come back with a fresh start and it was good, I noticed little plot points I didn’t before, debated whether I hated this Splinter or not 27 times, and realized Chris Evans voices Casey. This is a good movie. It’s cute, at times funny, and just genuinely a good watch for kids. 6.5/10 Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2019)

You know I quite liked this movie. I liked the art style and all the turtles a lot?! Unlike the 2007 movie, I didn’t feel like a single character had a ton more screen time than the others and Leo had good character development! I’m also a dc fan so seeing Damian acting a bit more like a kid was great.

It’s a fun movie and they found a pretty good balance between funny and serious. I’m not 100% why Ra’s wanted to mutate all of Gotham tbh so that was kinda weird and there were some weird tone shifts with the random graphic murder. At one point Leo yelled at Raph because he could have killed these people and then I watched Donnie kill a man with a manhole cover, but Splinter finally wasn’t the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen although he also wasn’t in this movie. Overall I’d give this a 7/10. It wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen but it was good, I’m also craving pizza again but I’m still recovering from last time so I think I’d rather eat moldy bread. I'll be adding the rise movie after it's out but I kept getting scared I was gonna accidentally delete all this lol

[besotted-eros]

Promotion

Armin x f!reader

18+

Content: Dom!Armin, degradation, dirty talk, deep throating, face fucking, light bondage, Armin loves calling you pet names, power dynamics, slight exhibitionism, degradation, spanking, oral (giving and receiving), unprotected sex, slight bimbofication, corruption kink, losing virginity

Made to be a soldier.

That's how they describe you, your superior officers and your comrades. You had sought out the scouts the earliest that you could, desperate to find your place among the ranks. And you moved well within them, soon becoming one of the elite of your regiment.

All the better, as it made it easier for you to catch his eye.

You had taken his orders for two years now, after his return from Marley and immediate promotion to commande, passed through section commanders and leaders. But the first time he saw you, Armin's words died on his lips.

"Her name." He asked, gesturing towards you discreetly. You were standing in salute, hand curved over your heart and back straight.

"Y/n, sir." His assistant responded.

Armin liked how it sounded. It was a name he could see himself murmuring in the moonlight, against your soft skin. "And how is she?"

"She hasn't seen anything action wise, not many of them have. But she's one of the highest ranked." Armin could have told him that. It was the way your eyes were still bright and soft, the innocence still hung about you.

He wanted it.

"She'll be in my squad starting tomorrow. Let her know. She'll take dinner with me tonight.

You sat on the edge of the couch, fidgeting with the pleats in your pants. Your head was still spinning, waking up this morning as any other grunt and by the evening being told you were meeting with Commander Armin to be inducted into his personal squadron. You had always admired the man, with his elegant and soft way of speaking and his kind azure eyes. And his mind. To think that that mind decided on you. It was an honour.

"Ah, y/n." The warm voice greeted you from the opening doors. He stood to the entrance to his private quarters, and behind him you could see an intimate set up for the aforementioned dinner. You jumped up, pounding your hand to your chest.

"Sir, commander Armin sir! Thank you so much for this promotion, I will aspire to live up to the standards that the scouts have set, I will-" You launched into the ramble quickly, voice raised and cheeks bright with flush. His delicate features lifted into an even warmer smile as he crossed the room, hand extended.

"Shh, enough of that. You're a bright soldier, I'd be an idiot not to pick you." His eyes ran across your body, almost blatantly. He must have been sizing your physique, judging how strong you were. You raised your chin, clasping his hand firmly. His skin was calloused, years of war and hard work. It offset the softness in his eyes. You were at once comfortable, allowing him to pull you by your hand towards him.

Armin moved to touch the collar of your shirt. It didn't lay as flat as his did, and he adjusted it familiarly. His head dipped towards your neck, inhaling the soft scent of soap and perfume. He hummed softly in his throat before smiling again.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, lifting your hand to his mouth. He pressed a chivalrous kiss to your skin that made your eyes widen.

You hadn't realised he was inquiring for more than just food. But your mouth was full now anyway, his pretty pink cock buried to the hilt down your throat.

He stared at you with those kind blue eyes, shadowed with a perverted lust. His once soft hands were a vice in your hair, guiding your novice mouth further down. In his over sized armchair his hips bucked, attempting to press further and further into your hot wet throat. Your fingers scrabbled at his thighs as your eyes welled with tears, making the mascara you had borrowed from your bunkmate run.

"Shh, pretty thing. That's it. Need to teach you this don't I?" He whispered, brushing one of your black tears away. "Breathe through your nose. Don't you dare pull away." He grunted, moving both hands to hold you in place. Beside you the fire flickered, casting shadows on the untouched meal. You had barely gotten past drinks when you had noticed the bulge in his pants, and how his smile widened when he realised you couldn't keep your eyes away from it. He had asked another question, politely inquiring about your physical test scores while he undid his belt. Your voice had faltered and Armin's brow furrowed.

"I asked you a question."

So you answered dutifully, words tumbling from your mouth as you watched his slender fingers wrap themselves around his already swollen shaft. It suited him, long and delicate, with veins that matched the blue of his eyes. It was no wonder you were more than ready when he asked you to take it in your mouth.

And now you were drooling over it, heaving breaths through your nose to ensure he remained completely sheathed in your throat.

"Have you done this before? Or are you just made to be a whore?" He purred, slowly pulling his hips back. You shook your head as best as you could, gasping when his cockhead popped from your lips.

"N-never." You choked out, coughing slightly. Armin's eyes flashed as he violently thrust forward again, sending himself straight down your throat. You gagged slightly but caught yourself, your nails digging into his thighs through the expensive fabric of his pants.

"So you're just a natural, hmm? Such a pretty innocent face, but you're made for such depraved things..." He gathered your hair slowly as he spoke, gently stroking it to the top of your head and Twisting it into a bun. You melted into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed at his caresses. He waited till you were disarmed, soft and pliable. And then he leaned back, gripping onto your hair and using it as purchase to begin thrusting down your throat. He panted loudly, eyes glazing with pleasure as he fucked into your mouth. You whined with pleasure when you could, struggling to catch your breath as he used you, holding you still while his hips met your met over and over. You felt his heavy balls slap against your chin, felt the brush of his soft blonde hair, kept trimmed and neat. But all you could do was feel yourself grow more and more wet, more and more desperate for this sweet faced commander and his dark wants.

"I'm going to cum down your throat, okay pretty whore? Don't you dare waste a drop, understand?"

He was leaned forward now, pushing and pulling your head rhythmically. You whimpered, fingers gripping his pants as you looked up to him, those innocent wide eyes bleary with tears. And that was enough to push him over.

With a final gasp he shoved you down, groaning his relief as he unloaded shot after shot of hot white cum straight down your throat. You were true to your word, swallowing every drop as tears fell freely from your face, and your hand pressed desperately between your legs.

He collapsed back, his chest surging as he watched you catch your breath.

"What a good little thing you are. You'll be such a perfect addition to my squad. I've needed a whore for a while now." He commented, pulling you to stand. You were dazed, holding onto his arms as he held you against him. He crooned softly as you swayed, his hands moving down to grope your ass brazenly. "So fucking tight, let me see it." He panted. It made your head spin to hear the perverse growl in his voice, so in contrast with his innocent blue eyes and halo of blonde hair.

He pushed you back slightly, making you stumble. You caught yourself and began to undo your buckle as he ran his fingers through his hair, eyes glued to your hands as you began to push the garment down. You had worn your prettiest panties, not knowing what compelled you. But it seemed worth it now as Armin's eyes lit up at the soft white satin and lace. He let out a deep groan, pulling you violently to him to set his lips crashing against yours. One hand held you in place as the other made contact with your mound, stroking your heat through the fabric. You moaned into his mouth and it encouraged him, the heel of his palm grinding against your throbbing clit as his fingers manipulated your soaked lips, pushing and pulling the fabric against your slick.

With a quick movement he had spun you around, sending you rocking back into the armchair. You didn't have time to get comfortable as he dragged your hips forward, calloused hands forcing your knees up and apart.

"Look at you, wetting yourself so early into the evening. You really are desperate aren't you?" He murmured, the tip of his nose trailing up the soaked satin. He inhaled loudly, making you whimper and try to pull back.

"S-sir," you gasped and he grinned malevolently, rubbing his nose against you even harder, parting your lips under the panties.

"You shy now? You let me cum down your throat and now you're shy?" He murmured, hot breath sending shivers reverberating through your body. His tongue flattened against the crotch and he dragged it up languidly, taking his sweet time making your toes curl. He slowed even further over your clit, knowing exactly where you needed him most and denying you it. He watched your face, eyes dancing with cruel delight as you whined your frustration, lifting your hips to him.

"Needy little whore." He whispered, bottom lip dragging against your throbbing button. "Normally I don't treat little whores so good yet, but you're so pretty I'll make an exception if you show me your breasts."

There was no thought of denying him. Your blouse was off within seconds, your bra thrown over the back of the armchair. Your hard nipples pebbled even further in the cold air, and Armin stared slackjawed for a moment. Your body, spread out bare infront of him in the hues of gold from the fire. Finally something to render the quick witted man speechless.

But only for a moment.

He all but attacked your cloth covered pussy, slurping and suckling at every part of it and soaking the fabric completely through. Your body writhed and whimpered on the chair, legs on his shoulders and hands in his straw coloured hair. It drove you crazy, to feel the outline of his tongue push satin into your aching hole, having it tighten over nothing in desperation.

Before you could beg for him to rip them off of you, he was standing, revealing his erect dick already dripping precum.

"Turn around and hold the back of the chair, sweet thing." He said, voice a soft velvet. You could hear the sound of his hand jerking his cock, and it was even sweeter than his voice. You scrambled up, turning over in the grand seat to hold onto the worn damask.

He hummed low in his throat for a moment before stepping back. There was the sound of shuffling and the familiar clink of your belt buckle. His firm hands came forth, guiding your arms back while he cooed about soft your skin was. The leather slid over your wrists and was tightened carefully. It felt like a perverse bracelet, rendering you even more vulnerable than you had been. Your face leaned into the upholstery now, and you smelled his cologne on it.

"Much better." He purred, fingers soft on your hips for a moment. His hands trailed towards your ass, squeezing the cheeks fondly before one pulled back, delivering a sharp slap that made you cry out. That drove him forward, yanking your panties down now so he could strike your bare skin. He paused to watch a stringy drip of your arousal fall from your warm lips. Your pussy was drooling for him.

He had planned to tease you, to fuck himself between those plush thighs until he was soaked with you, till you were begging for him to slide in. But you made that impossible.

You didn't have time to process his head at your entrance before he began pressing in, stretching your virgin hole to suit him. A low, drawn out gasp pulled itself from the depths of your throat and he leaned forward, fingers now digging into the skin of your hips.

"Breathe through it, come on. You're a soldier aren't you? Gotta learn to take a little bit of pain." He dropped his honeyed words against your shoulder, teeth dragging across your muscles. You inhaled sharply before hissing through your teeth. He purred his approval, massaging your skin as his long shaft pushed its way in. He waited until your breathing steadied, watching the parts of your face that he could see carefully.

"Tell me you're ready, pretty girl." He asked, hand moving to your bound hands. His fingers played with yours, waiting until you nodded.

And then, you were his.

He pulled back carefully before snapping forward, sending you pushing into the cushions. You gasped at the sensation, the feeling of your innermost walls being touched and rubbed against.

"Fuck, such a good little virgin hole. All mine, only me." Armin grunted, thrusting again. His normally perfectly set hair was now in disarray. You whined at the sound of his voice, and his lips curled prettily. "I can already tell what you want, it's so obvious."

He leaned back slightly, his pace picking up as his large hands guided you back and forth on his shaft. Your ass jiggled every time it met his well formed stomach, soft gasps with every impact. They only increased in volume as he picked up speed, muscles in his legs tensing and low groans filling the air. The sound of his pleasure was intoxicating mixed with the slaps of his balls against you, and the lewd squelching of your pretty pussy.

"You just want to be fucked dumb don't you? Pretty, smart little soldier wants to give everything up for her commander hmm? Bet you don't wanna be in my squad, you wanna be my little bed maid don't you?" He hissed through gritted teeth, placing a foot on the chair to give himself better depth. The tip of his cock pressed pre-cum soaked kisses to your cervix and your back arched, fingers flexing and wrists writhing against the bounds.

"C-commander!" You managed to squeak out and he moan loudly in response, delivering another sharp slap to your ass. This only made you more wild, struggling to look over your shoulder at the state he was putting your pussy in. His cock filled you perfectly, expertly dragging against your walls, putting your weak fingers to shame. You don't know how you would ever please yourself on anything else ever again, you thought as his head leaned back, face contorted in pleasure.

The heat was mounting, growing higher and higher in your stomach and chest. Armin could feel it, the way your walls clenched at him, fluttering in pleasure. Your fingers flexed and he ran his hands up and down your arms, loving your inability to move them.

"Oh fuck, pretty thing is gonna cum so soon? Yeah? Gonna cream on my big cock, baby?" He hissed, reaching forward to grab your hair. Now your entire body was being moved, bouncing against him like a toy. You could do nothing but babble your response, almost cross eyed from the immense pleasure that every single moment sent through you. Your breasts bounced under you, rubbing against the rough fabric, only adding to the symphony of exctasy that Armin was gifting to you.

"Fucking do it. That's an order, whore. Cum on this c-cock." His stammer slipped through as he bottomed out in you time and time again, your plush walls milking his raw cock.

And you have always been such a good soldier. You were made for this, weren't you?

You came, waves of pleasure making your vision explode into a kaleidoscope. Your pussy clenched onto Armin, a last entreatment for his hot load. And he obliged, letting out a loud gasp and low groan of your name as he pumped you full of his seed, collapsing against you for a moment. He held you tight to him, murmuring soft praise as his cock plugged you shut, letting his cum paint your walls.

He didn't have time to rest, his lips just finding the back of your neck before there was a knock at the door. With an annoyed sigh Armin straightened, adjusting his pants and combing his hair back into place.

"Come in." He called out, his voice cool and composed. His assistant opened the door, eyes landing on your gaping pussy, Armin's cum drooling from your lips. Your eyes were glazed over, staring unseeingly at the wall as your cheek rested against the back of the chair. You were blissed out, still recovering from your earth shattering orgasm. Not an unfamiliar sight in this room

"Some forms for you, Commander." The assistant said, walking over to hand the man a pen and binder. "Oh! Y/n, hello." The assistant smiled warmly, but he was unsure if you noticed. Armin tried to contain his smirk.

"Welcome to the squad."

[softscummymammon]

€Unexpected Acquaintance€

Assisted by:: @jinjinjinjin

❃.✮:▹»»——⍟——««◃:✮.❃

Sukuna just wanted this day to end. He was already in a bad mood from the storm last night, where he got little of his much needed sleep, and his mood had only gotten worse when he was faced with a bunch of "nature friendly" bastards protesting near the docks where his boat was tied down.

Now, he just wanted to get his daily load of fish for the market, and have a nap without dealing with any other goody two shoe hypocrites. He could already feel the headache building up behind his eyes.

Though the gentle rocking of the boat over the surface of the water did ease him slightly. People besides other fishermen were always so confused when he actually said something about himself and it happened to his be career in fishing. They were always so astounded when he said he could stay on a boat for a whole day. Weaklings, all of them.

Rubbing at his sore eyes, Sukuna glared at the surface of the horizon and took a sip of the alcohol in his canteen. Tucking the tin back into his wader's pocket, he patted the pocket for safe keeping.

Walking to the front of the boat, he checked his net markers he left a few days ago. Sukuna gasped when he saw his marker bobbing up and down frantically. Getting his equipment ready, he tugged on some gloves and grabbed at the net right under the marker.

Taking a breath, Sukuna started tugged on the net. Grabbing every piece of net coming from the water, Sukuna huffs as he pulls the net further and further from the water. The sound of splashing water reached his ears and he smirked in victory.

Putting all the access netting into one hand, Sukuna quickly reaches behind him for the mechanical hook. The machinery on his boat was built and bought by him only, so only he knew how it worked. By reaching for the net first, he can easily tie the access onto the hook and pull up the rest of it out of the water.

Doing exactly what was needed, he tied the net to the hook and grabbed onto the leaver and started cranking the leaver clockwise. The machinery raised the net out of the water better than he ever could. The load he hauled onto his deck made him smile and rub his hands together gleefully.

" This shipment is definitely worth a pretty penny. Now, all I gotta do it sort you out, fish sticks. "

*Slap* "Who you callin' fish sticks, blubber mouth?! "

Sukuna froze. Looking up, he raised his hand to his face and wiped away some water the fish that had been thrown at him left on his cheek. Peering down at the fish now flopping on his deck, he gave the thing a death glare; as if that would give him any answers. He must really be going crazy-

"Up here, blubber-for-brains. "

His eyes snapped up towards the voice. But the air in his lungs escaped as if they were punched out of him. A human(?)'s upper torso was visible at the top of the net. It was leaning against the hook of the machinery and was throwing and catching a fish in its hand.

Sukuna raised a brow, " What the fuck? "

The thing raised one of its brows back, " Nice use of language, Oh Smart One. I thought you humans were supposed to be intelligent. Though, every one of your kind I've encountered uses fowl language, so smarts must just be a myth. "

Sukuna growled at the things snarky commentary, " Oh yeah? And what kind of intelligent creature like you gets stuck in a fishing net, huh? So much for being smart. "

The thing snarled, showing off rust colored stained teeth dyed by no doubt blood as sharp as many of Sukuna's own fileting knives. It held tightly onto the fish in its hand, " Watch your mouth, human, I still got a whole lotta of ammo here, and your face is lookin' like a big ol' target from where I'm sittin'. "

Sukuna rose an unimpressed eyebrow and pulled out a harpoon gun he kept in the captain's quarters, " Mine hurts worse. "

The thing flinched back and hissed at the gun, but slowly set down the poor he probably squeezed to death in his panic. The thing made a whiny sound in the back of its throat, " I didn't choose to get stuck here. I was getting chased by some shark mers. Those nasty ones only know the smell of blood and the next potential meal. I'd choose to be anywhere else right now, trust me. "

Sukuna huffed, " Yeah, sure. " Putting away the gun, Sukuna sighed and looked back up to the sulking thing. Looking closer, he was the slightest shine of scales decorating the cheeks, neck, and forearms of the thing. Its eyes were steely and sunken in, as if it's seen things beyond it's life time.

Sukuna chuckled upon realization, " You're a mermaid, aren't you? "

The mer scoffed, " Merman, thank. But 'mer' is just fine. I still don't get why ya humans always gotta gender code things. Damn, just call us what we are? "

Sukuna chuckled again, " What? Nuisances? "

The mer hissed again, " We wouldn't be if ya humans knew to keep to yerselves. Ain't this section of the coast off limits to fishers like yerself? "

Sukuna shrugged, not giving an answer. The mer scoffed and crossed it's arms over it's chest. Sukuna looked at it up and down, taking in everything he could. He hummed delightfully.

The mer must have caught on, " What'cha lookin at me fer? Think I'm some sorta snack for yer to eat? "

Sukuna shook his head no, " Nah, I was just rememberin how much one of your kind goes to sell on the blackmarket. You gotta be worth something. No rich bastard would give up the opportunity to call a thing like you pet. "

The mer's eyes went thin, but already creamy skin paled considerably, " You wouldn't... "

Sukuna rose a brow, " Oh, and why wouldn't I? I could definitely use the money. "

The thing stayed quiet, before it soon started to shake. Sukuna was about to sneer and comment about it being weak, but paused when a face formed from agony and rage shot up to glare at him. Sukuna had to keep himself from tensing and tried to look as calm as he could be.

The mer growled, " That's all that ya humans are. Selfish and greedy monsters only willing to do something if you get money in return. Do you know how many of our kind is sacrificed, hunted, and killed just so the others can live? Just so you humans can play god and reap what we mer's sew. "

Sukuna gulped, remembering the auction show he was emailed an invite to since he contributed a large amount of fish to the CEO of the company. It was a disgusting show of wealth. How millionaires and billionaires fought over a small little thing that held a resemblance to the one right in front of him.

The mer wasn't done, but tears of grief started to roll down it's eyes, " How many of our guppies, our children, are pulled from our arms to be sold like live stock?! You are no better! "

Sukuna had enough of this tantrum, " Do not bundle me with those people! I'd never harm a child, even if I am considered a monster by other people. I will not allow it to be done by a fish like you! "

The mer shrunk back, breathing irregular and struggling, like a faint wheeze. It swallowed roughly and looked away. Sukuna rumbled, now over flowing with guilt he felt he should not harbor. Looking back up, he became slightly alarmed at the shallow and wheezy breaths the mer was taking.

Mer's need water, his mind supplied. Sukuna growled, and hackles raising when he caught the mer flinching again. Walking away from the net, he went down below deck on got out a giant glass tank he kept in case he needed to keep a fish alive for more profit.

Taking it up the stairs and on to the deck, he set it down on some secure boxes and grabbed a bucket to start filling it with water. He had to make haste though, or the mer would die from drownin? Suffocation? And all of this work would be for waste.

Once the tank was full and covered from the beating ray of the sun, Sukuna walked over to the leaver controlling the hook and rotated it counter clockwise. He watched as the machine lowered the net onto the deck and he let go of the leaver. Once the machine stopped, he stepped up to the net and untied it.

Being this up close and personal to the mer, he watched as the sun made the scales look iridescent. Slipping his arms underneath the torso of the fish being, he pulled it out of the other fish and dragged it towards the tank. The mer roused slightly, trying to fruitlessly push Sukuna away. The bigger man scoffed and dropped the mer into the tank.

The reaction was instant, the mer took a deep breath through the large gills covering it's side and it slumped against the rim of the glass tank. Sukuna watched, looking at the mer's tail that could he classified as art in itself. It was beautiful, though he would never admit it. The thin tarp Sukuna draped over some boxes didn't stop the light from the sun bouncing off the glittering scales.

Sukuna's gaze went back up to the mer's face, startling to see the mer was also looking at him. It's hair fell in it's face, blocking out most of it. It puffed, blowing some of the strands out of it's eyes to get a better look.

Sukuna hated the way his chest constricted at the show. The mer raised a webbed hand, and Sukuna slowly took it and shook it. He made a face when he pulled it back and fake gagged at the slimy feeling left on his skin. The thing laughed at his disgust and shook it's head, getting water everywhere.

It smirked, " The name's _____ _____. What's yours, blubber man? "

Sukuna sneered at the nickname, " That's not my name. It'd Sukuna Ryoumen, nothing else. "

The mer smirked, " Well now I gotta call you that every time I address ya. "

Sukuna growled, " Don't you dare. " The glint in the fish's eyes didn't quell any of the building dread that sat in the bottom of his stomach. He really debated on if he should sell the fish or not.

❃.✮:▹»»——⍟——««◃:✮.❃

[rosesdrabbleblog]

A Warm Welcome

Pairing: Vilbur x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, 18+ content, Hamilton references, swearing.

Note: First story for the blog! Based off of an idea I had that I sent to @sallysimp a bit ago.

You had been in your room when Tubbo came by, letter in hand. You perked up seeing him, “hello Tubbo, is this for me?” The young boy nodded, a serious expression on his face. Without a word, he handed you the letter before running off.

It seemed like ages ago since everything had changed. You had gone from living in a nation called L’Manburg alongside some of your dearest friends, to living quietly and alone in the nation now called Manburg. Sure, you had Niki there for you from time to time, but it didn’t make you feel any less alone.

You missed him.

Wilbur Soot was L’Manburg’s president, and one of your dearest friends. You remember the day you fought by his side during the war against Dream, you remember hearing the strings of a guitar late at night, what his lips against your forehead felt like...it all seemed to just be a distant memory now. You remember watching in despair as he and Tommy were exiled after the election, trying to free yourself from Schlatts goons.

With a small sigh, you opened the letter, reading its contents with awe.

To my dearest,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I am in a better position to talk now. Me and Tommy have started a new nation called Pogtopia. This letter contains the coordinates to the location. Please come soon.

-Wilbur Soot

You hadn’t even noticed your eyes watering until a teardrop fell onto the letter. He was alive...Wilbur was okay. And Tommy too...they were both safe. You hugged the letter to yourself, reveling in the moment for just a bit...

“Hey! You were supposed to be downstairs five minutes ago!”

You jumped at the sound of Quackity’s voice. Damn, you had forgotten that Schlatt required everyone to be at tonight’s meeting. “Give me a second,” you muttered before grabbing your jacket, stuffing the letter under a pile of clothes, hidden from sight. You opened your door, smacking the man in the face. “Hey! What the hell, man?!” he cried out, rubbing his face. You walked past him without a word, eager to get this meeting over with.

“Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence?” Schlatt commented as you walked over to one of the seats in front of the podium. You frowned at him, but kept quiet despite the insults you wanted to hurl at him. You sat down next to Tubbo, who was fixing his tie, eyes focused on the podium as Schlatt started speaking again. You tuned out for the most part, thinking about the letter in your pocket, until you heard him speak to you.

“Hey doll, do you mind grabbing some wood for Tubbo? Great,” Schlatt commented before moving onto the next person.

You glanced at Tubbo and whispered, “wood?” The teen smiled, “for my builds I’m doing for the festival. It would help me out a lot!” You nodded, pretending as if you knew exactly what had been going on the entire time. The idea of visiting Pogtopia while getting wood sparked in your brain, and you couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing Wilbur again. Wilbur...

Your thoughts were interrupted by the meeting ending as everyone got up to start on the tasks assigned to them. You followed Tubbo for a moment before asking, “do you want me to start getting wood now? I can go grab and axe and start.” The teen yawned, “you don’t have to do that, it’s late. I wanna go to bed.” You smiled and ruffled his brown hair, “I insist. I want to help you as much as I can.” And you honestly meant that. After everything you two had been through, you looked after Tubbo like he was your son in a way. If anything were to happen to him, you didn’t know what you would do. He nodded sleepily, “okay, but don’t wake me until morning.” You patted his back as he went off to bed, and you went back to your shelter, grabbing an axe and a few other supplies. While walking out, you ran into Schlatt, who was smoking a cigarette.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were sneaking off somewhere.”

You stiffened, “of course not, I’m going to start getting wood for Tubbo.” You held out your axe for proof.

Schlatts dark eyes bore into yours, “well then, don’t stay out too long. Wouldn’t want something to sneak up on you in the dark.” He gave his signature grin before walking off, continuing to smoke his cigarette as if the exchange never happened. You shook off the uncertainty before heading off, letter in hand as you tried to look for Pogtopia.

You had searched for maybe an hour or so before hearing a rustle in the bushes. You whipped around, axe in hand as you scanned through the trees. You were about to walk off before a voice rang out, “is that YOU y/n?!”

You turned and were face to face with Tommy, who you hadn’t seen in so long. His clothes were a bit torn and dirty, and he was no longer wearing his L’Manburg outfit, but one he had probably gotten from Wilbur in their exile. You dropped your axe and ran forward to hug him, and smiled as he hugged you back. “Of course it’s me, I came as soon as I heard,” you said softly. Tommy pulled away with a wide grin, “Wilbur is gonna be so happy to see you again! He never stops talking about you, madman. Imagine being obsessed with a woman, couldn’t be me.” You laughed at that, picking up your axe and putting it back into your satchel. Tommy pointed at a a section in the forest, “Pogtopia is behind those dirt blocks. I’ll show you!” And with that, Tommy scampered off to show you. As he removed the blocks, the dim forest was bright with light coming from the hole, and you followed Tommy inside. Tommy blocked the hole back up before brushing off his hands on his pants. “Well, welcome to Pogtopia! You’re the first woman to come here. And I doubt the last.”

You followed Tommy as he explained what had happened to him and Wilbur. You listened seriously, nodding and expressing your sympathy for the two. You both eventually came across Wilbur, who sat plucking at a guitar near a campfire. “Hey Wilbur! I found your favorite woman!” Tommy grinned at him. Wilbur looked up, his brown eyes tired and glassy, but they widened when he saw you. “You...you came,” he said, a bit shocked. You sat next to him, smiling gently, “of course I did. I promised I would always be there for my president.” His serious expression was replaced by a small cheeky grin at that, “it’s so good to see you again, love.” Tommy made a gagging noise before going into his room, disgusted with you two. You and Wilbur both chuckled at that before Wilbur began explaining what happened, and what Tommy had left out. “We’ve been down here for weeks, probably months even. It’s hard to keep track of time nowadays.” He glanced at your formal outfit, “and I’ve never seen you look so formal. When did that start?” You sighed softly, “since Schlatt took over.” Wilbur eyes narrowed a bit, “I hope you’ve been okay throughout all this. If he did anything to hurt you...” You patted his arm gently, “I’m fine dear, I’ve just...missed you so much.” Wilbur leaned forward a bit, nodding and softly saying, “I’ve missed you as well....so much.” And with that, he leaned forward and kissed you.

Ever since that night, you began sneaking away to Pogtopia and returning to Manburg with stacks of logs for Tubbo. The teen was delighted as how much you brought back, but didn’t have much time to chat anymore. He was in charge of putting together everything for the festival, after all. It seemed like maybe things weren’t so bad anymore. Tubbo was happy, you could see Wilbur and Tommy again...maybe things would be okay for now.

That is, until it became apparent how much Wilbur had changed. You almost hadn’t noticed the change. Sure, maybe something was different about his eyes and appearance, but that wasn’t anything bad. The part of your brain that loved the Wilbur before refused to see anything suspicious about him.

One night when you had snuck away to Pogtopia, you came back to the place quiet and empty. Tommy wasn’t bickering with Wilbur for once, in fact, the teen wasn’t even there. You found a note scrawled on a piece of paper.

Gone off to spy on Manburg. Will return soon.

- Tommy

You were a bit unerved by the silence, looking around the unsually dark Pogtopia. You let out a yelp as something grabbed you, pushing you against the wall roughly. In the dark, you could see it was Wilbur who grabbed you.

Without warning, he kissed you roughly, hands grabbing at you like he was starved for you. You were confused as to what was going on, but kissed him back after a moment. Your hands wandered to his curls, pulling them gently. The man let out a soft moan at that. “God, I need you now love. Needed you for so long...” he said as he took off your jacket. He stared at you for a moment before you realized and said “yes...please.” He practically tore off your buttoned shirt, hands and fingers quicker than you had ever seen. Wilbur kissed you again as he let his coat drop to the floor, now moving to take off his own shirt. He pressed into you, and you could feel him harden as he softly thrusted against you. You let out a gasp as his leg went between your thighs, pining you into the wall even more. You responded by thrusting against his leg, which made him nearly go insane as you let out soft gasps. Wilbur began unfastening your pants, depserate to touch you. You stepped out of them and threw them off to the side, letting out a moan as his fingers began to tease you through your panties. “Look at you, already soaked. You needed this, didn’t you? I know I did,” Wilbur said, his eyes dark and focused. He pushed past your panties and teased you again before slipping a finger inside you. You let out a moan and attempted to thrust against it, gaining a grin from Wilbur. He pulled it out before thrusting it in again, soon pushing another in impatiently. He fingered you deep and hard, drinking in your moans. Wilbur leaned down and nipped at your neck, leaving dark bruises that would be tricky to hide. You heard him mutter minemineminemine as he sped up his fingers even more. “Wilbur- I’m gonna...” “You gonna cum? Then do it. Cum for me, love.” And with that command, you came with a loud whimper, driving the man insane. He pulled his fingers out and licked at them while his other hand began to unfasten his own pants. “I can’t take it anymore. I need you now. God, I needed you so long ago. Should have taken you so long ago. Should have made you mine so long ago,” he said darkly, his pants falling to the floor. His boxers followed soon after. He began to stroke himself with one hand while the other turned you towards the wall. You could feel him at your entrance one moment, and he pushed inside you the next. You let out a loud moan as you adjusted to him inside you.

Wilbur, meanwhile, was battling his own dark thoughts as he began to thrust into you slowly. One part of him wanted to be gentle and sweet with you, wanted to take the moment slowly and lovingly. The other part wanted him to take you fast and tough, make you cry and whimper for him. To make you fully submit to him.

That side won.

Wilbur began pounding into you mercilessly, gripping your throat with one hand while the other gripped your hip. “That’s it, take my fucking cock. Such a good little slut,” he growled into your ear, letting out a moan with every few thrusts. You never felt so aroused before, finding this dark side of Wilbur alluring. All you could do was whimper and whine his name as you pushed back against his thrusts. After a bit, the hand that gripped your hip moved down to stroke you as he went even faster. “Wilbur...Wilbur! Fuck, I need to cum!” you moaned out, feeling your orgasm approaching at an alarming rate. “Yeah? You need to cum on my cock? Then do it. Fucking cum,” he growled as his thrusts went deeper into you. With another whine, you pulsed around him, panting as you came down from your high. He thrusted into you a couple more times, groaning, “you’re gonna take my fucking cum like the good little slut you are.” And with a growly moan, he came inside of you. You nearly collapsed back into him as he held you to him, both of you panting. After a moment, he helped you sit down and brought your clothes to you, his hair disheveled and his forehead gleaming with sweat. The two of you got dressed silently, before he grabbed your face lovingly, leaning in to whisper, “god, I love you.” He kissed you again, gently and sweetly. This is the Wilbur you remembered.

“Why are you wearing a turtleneck out in the sun?” Tubbo questioned you as you brought back the stacks of logs he needed. You stiffened before quickly saying, “I...I have a scratch on my neck. From the trees, when I was chopping them down. Kind of ugly, but it’ll be fine!” He nodded, accepting your answer without a question. In reality, your neck was bruising from the amount of hickies Wilbur left behind after last nights events. You hoped others would accept this answer as well.

And you knew you had to go back to Pogtopia soon.

[handsmotif]

The Queercoding of Pinky and the Brain

This originally was just me infodumping to my friends on discord, but I decided it might be interesting to some people on here, so I polished it up and made it an actual essay lmao

To start, we’re going to break this into 2 sections -- the relationship between the mice, and Pinky’s relationship with gender, because queercoding doesn’t just mean gay!

For a 90′s show, Pinky and the Brain (and its mother show, Animaniacs) was very progressive for its time! But there were still lots of things that they couldn’t slip by censors, and thus, that’s where we have to read between the lines. And that is something I wanted to clarify here before we dive in, the actual meaning of queercoding. It’s NOT the same as queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when the people producing certain media purposefully dangle the possibility of queer representation to lure in audiences (most prominent examples are BBC Sherlock, Riverdale, and Supernatural I GUESS? who knows abt that last one anymore), but never follow through, purely for profit. Queercoding is when media producers WANT to write in queer representation, but can’t, usually because the censors won’t let them. So, they must resort to subtext. (example: the policemen from Gravity Falls) It could also be unintentional, simply assigning certain characteristics associated with the LGBT community to characters. (example: Bugs Bunny, many Disney villains) Either way, it heavily relies on the audience picking up subtext, but whether it’s malicious or not varies, depending on the media. Bugs Bunny is an example of positive accidental queercoding, while a lot of Disney villains are negative examples.

Now, to actually discuss the gay little mice! Pinky and the Brain, whether it be intentional or not (based off comments from Maurice LaMarche, Rob Paulsen, and Tom Ruegger, signs strongly point to intentional, but it’s never been explicitly confirmed), is an example of positive queercoding.

There are many moments that I could pick out to discuss here, but we’ll start with some VERY on the nose gay metaphors. 

Remember Romy? If you don’t, that’s their actual biological son! Romy came about due to a cloning accident, where their DNA got combined and spat him out. 

There’s SO many things I could say about Romy. Every appearance he makes has an overarching gay metaphor as the plot. His first appearance in the episode Brinky (yeah it’s literally titled their ship name), it deals with his dads (WHICH I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT, he DOES call them both dad, and they do both call him their son) disapproving of the fact that he wants to leave home and not follow in their footsteps of taking over the world. Brain even goes as far as disowning him whenever he tells him, which is certainly something a lot of queer people can unfortunately relate to. Also seen a lot in this episode is Pinky and Brain arguing even more than a married couple than usual, which pushes Romy away even further. Later, when Romy eventually does leave, and Brain starts to regret chasing him away, he tries desperately to reach out to him, but Romy doesn’t want anything to do with him. They end up tracking him down to an apartment building, where Romy is now living with his human girlfriend. When questioned about their relationship, the girlfriend, named Bunny, goes off on a tangent about how people shouldn’t judge others based on labels or relationships (hello?), and that Brain needs to be more tolerant. Brain apologizes and Romy forgives him. Happy ending.

Romy’s only other appearance is in the comics. Essentially, the plot of this one is that Brain wants to become the president of the local high school’s PTA, but he needs Romy’s help to make it look like he has a normal home life. He also enlists the help of Billie, the obligatory Woman introduced to make sure Brain doesn’t look as gay as he actually is, that he has a crush on. She pretends to be his girlfriend, and Pinky pretends to be Romy’s uncle, while they make up the story that Romy’s actual mother was lost at sea. Because if the organization found out that Brain has a son with a MAN??? THINK of the controversy! Anyway, the plan works, and Brain actually manages to get elected as president. Throughout this though, Pinky gets WEIRDLY jealous that Brain keeps brushing him aside for Billie. To the point where during Brain’s inauguration, Pinky actually dresses up as the wife/mother lost at sea and storms into the room.

[ID: Comic panels of Pinky, Brain, and Romy on stage at the inauguration ceremony. Pinky busts into room wearing drag, saying, “Yoo hoo! I’m back from years lost at sea to be with my son and ungrateful husband! Narf!” He then hugs Romy, while glaring at Brain. He goes on to say, “I’ll stand by your side, even though you left me behind!” The people in the audience begin to question this, saying, “Oh great fuzzy bangs!”, “What’d she say?!”, “He deserted her to be with that other woman!”, “What kind of monster is he?!”. Brain then rips off Pinky’s wig and says, “This isn’t my wife! This isn’t even a woman! It’s my roommate, Pinky.” Pinky replies, “Well, yes... But Romy really is my son! Poit!” And Brain responds, “N-Nonsense! He’s my son!” More people in the audience angrily speak up, saying, “What’s that?”, “He lives with a guy who likes to dress up in women’s clothing and the both claim to be that kid’s father!”, “Grumble! Mutter!” /END ID]

Needless to say, this doesn’t end well for them. What we can conclude from this is that homophobia exists in the Pinky and the Brain universe, and our characters are directly affected by it.

Moving on, And-There-Was-Only-One-Bed is a pretty common occurrence with these two. Their cage is big, they have plenty of room for two beds, but? They choose to sleep together? Even in some times where this has been inconsistent and they DO have separate beds, they’re always RIGHT next to each other. (what if we put our minecraft beds together ❤😳)

I would like to mention the episode, You’ll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town Again! This episode is interesting to say the least. Deals with a lot of the meta of the show. Anyway. In this episode, Brain has a nightmare that he’s in a loveless marriage with Billie. You know, the woman he’s supposed to have a crush on. In the end, he wakes up from the nightmare in the same bed as Pinky.

Speaking of female love interests, Pinky is seen having multiple relationships with characters of different species. Any time this is brought up by Brain, Pinky counters with Brain being too intolerant. An honorable mention with this is in Wakko’s Wish, when Pinky is with Pharfignewton, and Brain’s constant pestering about their relationship could be read as jealousy. Pinky needs a mousy date, after all!

Something else I would like to mention is in one episode (I forget what it’s called, I’ll try to look it up later and edit this), Brain is applying for a job. The employer asks Brain if he’s married, and Brain hesitates before saying he “has a roommate,” but that he’s occupied with his own things, which then cuts to a shot of Pinky applying lipstick.

Leading into part two of this essay, Pinky’s relationship with gender! Pinky has always been very gender nonconforming, and loves to wear dresses, do his makeup, and make himself look pretty. For the most part, this is played pretty straight, and not as a gag, like a lot of shows tend to do! It’s just a casual fact about him that he likes to present femininely sometimes.

This does play into their taking over the world plans pretty often, where Pinky wears drag, usually either to sneak into somewhere. Like in one of their earliest appearances on Animaniacs, Noah’s Lark, where they pose as a couple to board Noah’s, and I quote, “love boat.” After boarding, Noah says to himself, “Who am I to judge?” Okay. Yeah. Alright. Anyway.

I actually had less to say on this than I thought I did, but I wanted to make sure to emphasize that Pinky at the very least is coded as being Not Quite Cis, and that he’s played a key part in helping a lot of people watching the show figure out that they’re also Not Quite Cis. 

Wrapping this up because I’m hungry, but I want to throw in some more honorable mentions that I really do not see any type of cishet explanations for:

They literally go on a romantic date at a very fancy restaurant in Brain’s Night Off. This is played extremely casually, and the only remark from anyone that they receive is that they are “much smaller than the usual clients.”

Pinky, on at least one occasion, daydreams about him and Brain being a married couple, and wanting to be a housewife (the original malewife ❤)

There’s an issue in the comics where Pinky has a crush on another male mouse, and when Brain gets annoyed, Pinky reassures him that he thinks Brain is cute and quite the catch too

Brain attempting to kiss Pinky in the reboot??????

Brain actually did conquer the world once in the Halloween special, because Pinky made a deal with the devil for it, and thus Pinky got sent to hell! Brain actually went to hell and gave up the world to bring him back

Brain was extremely close to conquering the world once more in the Christmas special, but after reading what Pinky’s feelings for him were (nothing romantic, just Pinky basically just praising Brain for being so hardworking and an amazing mouse, and lamenting that he never gets anything for it), he gets so emotional that he sabotages himself and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas instead

TLDR; these mice are very queer and need therapy, and are probably the most heavily queercoded characters that I can think of in children’s media.

[marathoning-barbie]

The Barbie Diaries (2006)

Oh man, I’ve had such a blast with the marathon for now. Sure, there were some lower points, but nothing that was truly bad. And hey, here’s the only one of the truly old movies that I’ve never watched as a child. How exciti–

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

What– what is that? What happened here? What are my eyes looking at?

Listen. I’ve said back during Nutcracker that bad animation was somewhat expected in the early 2000s with the available budget. But this? This is too horrendous for me not to comment on.

This is going to be a really short review again. I won’t give a plot summary like the usual ones, and I have barely anything to say about this movie because my brain just refuses to think about it. If you genuinely like it, then I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be very mean to it.

Have you ever watched a single teen high school drama movie? Imagine that movie, only probably worse and also looking like… this.

A lot of people call this Mean Girls but Barbie, but frankly, Mean Girls at least was kind of a parody of this genre of movie. This is just a very sincere attempt at it.

Barbie (the actual Barbie this time around) is kind of an introvert in high school. She has a crush on the dumb jock and wants to be popular. She’s bullied in that unrealistic teen movie way by her crush’s girlfriend, Raquelle (#notmyraquelle) and her squad. She lies to become popular. It backfires and her friends get angry at her. She notices the asshole jock is an asshole jock and dates her niceguy best friend instead. The moral is to not lie to become popular like every single one of these movies ever. Now marvel at the worst sins of early 2000s fashion rendered in hideous CGI.

Listen, I know a lot of people like those teen drama movies, but apart from like… the first two High School Musical movies, I just can’t get into it. I hate most of the ones I’ve seen. And apart from the Barbie branding, this one doesn’t really add anything new. I don't even have the same kind of nostalgia a lot of people currently feel for the early 2000s because I sincerely don't like the aesthetic. I’ll admit that there are some funny lines (“Please, she sounds like deodorant”) and some of the bizarre animation gags are kinda commendable and creative.

But man, I hate both of the love interests so, so much, and the other characters aren’t much better. Dumb jock guy (I think his name is Todd, and I could look this up, but you know what? No) is just every single character of this type you’ve ever seen. The actual love interest, Kevin, is a fucking niceguy creep who, if this took place in the 2010s instead, would definitely spend all his time online calling Elliot Rodgers “based” and complaining about how all the femoids are friendzoning him or some shit. Fuck you, Kevin. Barbie’s two friends… sure do exist and Raquelle is also just the worst rendition of the mean girl stereotype you can imagine. There is nothing new she brings to the table, and the way she bullies Barbie and her friends is the dumbest shit ever.

Life in the Dreamhouse Raquelle is my queen and I will not stand for this.

Is it the worst movie? Absolutely not. I separated my preliminary rankings into six sections, and this one sits right in-between the fifth and sixth one. I get why other people like it more, especially if they grew up with similar movies. But as someone who doesn’t like the genre in the first place? Having to see it in this animation style was hell.

Really the only thing it’s remarkable for is that it features Barbie herself in high school. None of the other movies are like this, and it’d take until Fashion Fairytale to get another Barbie-as-Barbie movie. And Fashion Fairytale is meta as hell while this one just seems to unironically be about Barbie as a teenager. That’s kinda intriguing, but also really it.

Fuck this movie.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hey, did you saw the film theory on Invader Zim on Membrane that Low-key makes sense

NO. IT. DOESN’T!

Okay, maybe this is my personal bias shining through, because I really don’t like Mattpatt sometimes... No. Okay, I have nothing against the guy personally. More frankly, I don’t like his fanbase or the way he structures his videos.

The way Mattpatt words and structures his videos acts like he’s the first person who thought of this idea, it’s the main contributor to why I stopped watching his videos a long time ago.

He speaks in a lot of rhetorics and strawman arguments rather than just saying what he wants to say. Like “If you don’t believe me... look no further then...” and that’s the one thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE on theory videos.

And some of Mattpatts own theories he doesn’t take seriously, but this is what you get when you base your INCOME off of youtube ad revenue and browse the reddit forums for new ideas. A completely monopolized way of theorizing. (and this is why there are several paragraphs in my current chapter of Tech Support of Zim’s Computer complaining about the concept of youtube entertainment in general.)

Sure, I don’t think Mattpatt will run out of theories... but I really hate the structure of his videos follows along strawman arguments, acting like he’s always arguing with an imaginary audience for entertainment value rather than just say what he wants to say.

That, and people will often cling to theories of someone with good editing software and a youtube channel then Their own opinions.

Something that I learned was incredibly dangerous to do. I learned my lesson with “That Guy with the Glasses dot com” and I don’t plan to act like I know something or am better than someone else cause I agree with someone who said something on youtube once.

I do watch Internet reviews and theory videos for entertainment, but that’s all they are to me. I don’t like to watch youtube videos to give me opinions on how I feel about things. And I seriously think a wide margin of his subscribers lack critical thinking skills at times, as well as a majority of the youtube audience, or from what I’ve seen in the comment section.

However, remember... These are just my thoughts on the matter... My thoughts are not law and I never claim them to be.

Like when I first joined the fandom and posed my GIR analysis questions... I even said:

“I don’t know if the fandom has talked about this in depth or not... I just got here... or if someone put it into this many words before but...”  

Also... the thing that bothers me about his Invader Zim theory...

A lot of Mattpatt’s sources are just..... Wrong...

(for the next few minutes I will be talking about this video, feel free to watch or don’t)

Okay.. “Membrane is an Irken” this has been a popular fan theory since before I even entered the fandom and there are old fics about this. I have read Irken Membrane stories before.

It’s not personally my cup of tea, but it’s fun to think about.

But the straws Mattpatt grasps in his video.... Really upset me because there is some thought to the theory back in the day.. ... Like back in 2002??? but like.... NOW?!

Okay, I’ll pick apart this a little... bit by bit...

He says that Membrane takes a hard stance against anything paranormal.

Kinda... but no.. Membrane never outright denies the existence of aliens. (except in ETF... which he mainly says out of frustration...) This is what Membrane says about “there are no aliens” in the show:

Membrane just says that there are no “intelligent” aliens...None that are able to travel the massive distance to Earth, anyways... If aliens existed at all, (like the cryptoids Dib talks of) they would have traveled the distance to the planet and communicated with them by now.

However, this is a nitpick of a minor issue. One that a majority of the fandom tends to overlook when viewing Professor Membrane and Dib’s relationship in general. 

And I do find it weird that he used this for evidence when he cut out the most important snippet from the full lecture he gives Dib here.... JUST to support his claim... as if he’s intentionally leaving that part out.... hmmmm

However, I can let this slide, because it’s a nitpick and really doesn’t change anything that Membrane is very dissuasive of Dib’s alien-hunting hobbies. (I have a theory as to why and I explain it here in my own way)

The point is, Membrane is dismissive of anything alien... maybe because he’s an Irken...okay, good, yes. fair. 

A lot of Mattpatts claims from then on are pretty solid, and I won’t bunk them with “But in my headcanon/Fanfic verse...”  Because what he is saying is all true.

Membrane denying the existence of aliens even after being taken to space jail doesn’t have much of an explanation and is played for comedy and there are many ways you can go with this, and I am not going to bring up my fanfics or my own headcanons to argue with him here.

Because there is no explanation, and he is going with the “Membrane is Irken” theory... So that’s very solid when he’s talking about Membrane denying the Hallucinations. 

Mattpatt claimed that Membrane wore his face covering at all times and had been dressed this way since he was a child.

I will not deny this. This is true.

However, isn’t bringing up Membrane’s childhood kinda put a hole in your own argument?

MEMBRANE WAS A CHILD.

He had been shown to have childhood memories in the comics and the show.

Irkens don’t really have a “Childhood” per say, at least not in the way that humans do. They are a smeet, then elite, then Invader..

If he’s claiming that Membrane came to earth as an Irken SMEET....How, why, and when? 

That kinda raises more questions than it answers.... What are you proving by bringing up Membrane’s baby pictures on Earth exactly? It kind of works against your own argument? 

Saying that they’re Irken because they all have the same hair.... that’s just stupid... and he’s citing the Invader Zim wiki on this .... oh boy.

Yeah, Like before I watched the show I thought Dib and Disguised Zim were the same character or brothers...

But I don’t think character design here is a solid enough reason in this case... At least not when it comes to the hairstyles... That’s a stretch.

“Hmmm Membrane’s hair forms an M shape... What could the M stand for? Mirken?! SUSPICIOUS!” (this is just a joke)

Also... the lack of ears thing... He did say it would be hard for Membrane to hear if his headpiece was covering his ears, but not necessarily... The entire thing is a headset and he is the man of science, he can really do whatever the fuck he wants cause Science is like magic in a show like this. So if Membrane wears a headset that doesn’t obstruct his hearing at all, I can buy it... Also.. it’s equally possible his ears got blown off in a chem lab accident or he’s legally deaf and that headset acts as a hearing aide and HELPS him hear... 

Actually, I always noticed how in Membrane’s original design from the show, the headset looked a lot like a hearing aid. Specifically one with a head clip, It’s one of the things I first noticed about his design in the show.

And it’s just something I always assumed because he’s a scientist who deals with explosions in his face on a daily basis... (in fact he experiences one in episode 2B) So on first viewing, I thought that his headset served as a hearing aid as well as prescription glasses and a communication device. 

I’m just throwing out possibilities because the “lack of ears” is also kinda a stretch.

Mattpatt complaining about “lack of nose” however... Okay, yeah I’ll give him that one. It’s a character design choice that is a little odd for Professor Membrane, but it does fit with the Irken theory, since a majority of human characters, in fact, all have noses. So, Yes the “lack of nose” does fit more into the Irken theory. 

However.... Florpus anime Membrane DOES have a nose...

Meant to be drawn in a more semi-realistic artsyle, you can clearly see the bridge of his nose here.

And he looks very similar to anime Dib... Sooooo... Shrug-city... 

It’s likely that Membrane not having a nose in the show is simply a stylistic choice than anything else. Basically, the bridge of the nose is there... we just don’t see it.

Especially since Nightmare Membrane has a nose as well..

Membrane is like Home Improvement’s Wilson. We will never see his face, and that’s part of the gag. The man probably sleeps in his labcoat honestly...

I also find the voice pattern thing a bit of a stretch. Membrane and Zim are just eccentric characters who yell to emote or emphasize a point or emote stronger. And Membrane’s inflections are never the same as Zim’s.

Remember, no other Irken TALKS like Zim. Professor Membrane doesn’t really go around screaming: “I AM PROFESSOR MEMBRANE” either..... 

If anything... it just kinda proves both characters have auditory processing issues or hearing problems more then anything.

And there is a lot of screaming on this show.... Screaming from Dib, screaming from Membrane, Screaming from GIR, screaming from Zim... Screaming is funny... and characters scream so much that the characters with their mouths wide open is somewhat a staple of the show.

This is more because of Johnen Vasquez’s voice direction...

Especially since no other Irken really talks like Zim..

Zim’s manor of Speach is strictly a Zim thing and not an Irken thing.

Professor Membrane’s manner of speech is simply a Membrane thing and not a human thing.

I will give Mattpatt that. That a lot of tech in the show looks similar to Membrane’s. I feel this is mostly a stylistic choice, but it really does fit in with the Irken theory. 

Like that Zim just so happens to use the same operating system as Dib is played off as a joke. But it does add some small credence to the theory here... I need to point out when he does get it right... some pats on the back.

These are very good points and does follow through with what he’s trying to prove by the end of the day.

(even if Membrane was lying about the destruction of all mankind with the beans thing, but that’s a minor nitpick here) 

But his entire paragraph comparing Membrane’s tech to Irken tech is a really good one. Props there.

This whole paragraph about there being only Tall or short irkens cause their society is height based and there are no “medium-sized” irkens....cause they were “dealt with”

Okay.

....

Sure Mattpatt. Let’s just entirely ignore the existence of the Frylord and this entire character even though you mentioned it in the synopsis at the start of your video... Showing that Taller irkens are in positions of power against the shorter, also... Zim is a tiny irken... there are many Irkens that stand taller then Zim.

Being tall in Irken society is a rarity, and Almighty Tallest Purple said that he and Red “became” the Tallest. How? We don’t know, but we do know at one point the current Tallest looked like this:

How do Irkens get that Tall? Body modifications? Maybe... it’s never explained, but considering the Frylord is super big and probably eats a lot of snacks might have something to do with it. We don’t know.

It’s safe to say that being Tall in their society is a rarity and Tallests are either born or made special from the cloning chamber from the get go.

Not to mention, Membrane is Taller than the current Tallest are already...

 and you said earlier in the video that Membrane would have gone to Earth as a child...

When he was no taller than a wrapped Christmas box of socks...

So why would Membrane take refuge on Earth at this point? Mattpatt says that Membrane was sent on a mission to Earth because the Tallest felt threatened by his rule...

BY MEMBRANE’S RULE?!?

HE’S THE SIZE OF A CHRISTMAS BOX OF SOCKS!

What do they have to be threatened by? 

Because... Mattpatt DID bring up Membrane as a child earlier in the video... meaning Membrane came to earth when he was about the same size as Zim.

SO THEY HAD NOTHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT AND HAD NO EVIDENCE TO BELIEVE MEMBRANE WOULD GROW TO BE TALL ORE EVEN VIEW HIM AS A THREAT

You bunked your own argument. Congradulations.

Membrane conquered the world through his inventions. In a way, sure. Membrane Labs does own a lot of stuff. But he doesn’t own everything. A majority of the Corporations that keep the population stupid usually don’t have anything to do with Membrane Labs and aren’t affiliated at all. 

But this does fit into the “Membrane is an Irken” theory so I will give him that one.

However, Membrane being an evil corporate dictator is a hot take I never really appreciate at all and I can never get behind it.

It hits too close to home in the real world, and I always like to view Membrane as a self-made man and a World loving hippie at his core who just wants to make the world a better place, much like his son, but he actively does something about it. (which can also be why he encourages Dib with real science so much cause he knows Dib wants to save the Earth as much as he does)

Just calling Membrane a capitalist billionaire that doesn’t care about the little guy kinda seems disingenuous towards his character for me. 

Especially when Membrane in “Ten Minutes to Doom” created a machine (foodio) that completely end world hunger... which was in BETA in the unreleased episode...

 but by the time the movie rolls around... Foodio exists... past his BETA, meaning that he’s probably no expensive than a common household microwave and can materialize food from nothing:

Yeah. Membrane completely ended world hunger off-screen. thanks. (something no capitalist would ever do...)

Membrane also does appearances for charity (in the comics), and often takes funding for sponsorships when he is low on funds and he had to find a cure for pig mouth. 

Sure “Membrane conquered the world” fits the Irken theory...

But I never appreciate that take on his character and that is admittedly, very personal bais. 

I just wanted to say my peace a little bit here about how I 100% don’t vibe with the “Membrane capitalist/billionaire scum” especially since he ended world hunger...and invented a cure for the un-common cold.

Works for the theory, so good on Mattpatt for that one, but I personally don’t vibe with it.

Mattpatt compared Zim and Dib’s head shape as something to argue... Like because Dib has a similar head shape to Zim... that Dib has to be an alien... Okay... But If you look at the Invader Zim artbook (which I own)

The show has a very distinct look on how they draw characters’ heads. It’s a very distinct stylistic choice and there are pages upon pages in the artbook describing the style and how it looks in motion, and many revision notes to the Korean animators.

There are lots of pages on the artbook describing in detail the differences between the main characters’ heads, what to do, and what not to do.

It’s a difficult style to replicate, and Dib having a big head was mostly a joke from the showrunners to the showrunners, cause they kept drawing Dib’s head slightly bigger to make him look more appealing.

A majority of the audience doesn’t really notice because all the children in the show have big heads. All the kids are like 3-4 feet tall and have huge heads. 

Also... Dib’s head is far more rounder then Zim’s in the comics and the Movie... comparing their head shape as an arguing point, when Dib’s head shape changed midway season 1 when the designs got slightly more streamlined is just... bad form..

Dib and Zim’s heads never really look the same from the early episodes as they do later on.

Comparing this character design similarity just because of the artstyle is really stupid.

This is the most infuriating thing about the video... because Mattpatt disproves his own argument with his own footage not a few seconds earlier. 

He claims that Gaz sarcastically mentioning she has a squeedly spooch is a canon fact...... but ... hmm.. Mattpatt... can I rewind the footage of your video, please?

Where’s her squeedly spooch?

IS IT BEHIND HER CLEARLY HUMAN ORGANS?! I DON’T SEE IT?

And this isn’t just a stylistic choice... here’s a picture of another human’s organs for comparison.

Mattpatt literally disproved his own argument and ignored the fact that we saw an X-ray of Gaz’s organs in the very same episode...

Gaz doesn’t have a squeedly spooch and she literally was being sarcastic.

and the whole thing is disproved very easily.

Everything Mattpatt says in between those two points, about Dib being taken aboard an alien ship as a baby, and that there is no mother, and the Clone theory... That is all good stuff and this is what the theory video should have speculated and focused on, because there is some digging to be had here... I feel he focused a lot on the wrong points in his video...

And this is the most outrageous point he makes in his video. It’s the thing that pissed me off the most... and lead me to write this essay in the first place.

He claimed Eric Trueheart himself confirmed the clone theory and had story plans where Dib would discover his clone origins.

HE DID NOT!

IN FACT, Eric Trueheart himself published Volume One of the Invader Zim script book AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:

Eric neither confirmed nor denied the rumor.

But for Mattpatt to blatantly say that Eric said that Clone Dib was a planned thing by the screenwriters?!

He is BLATANTLY putting words into a Screenwriter’s mouth! Something that you should NEVER do.

Because it is 100% a lie.

He had no source for this claim. He probably just read the same rumor on the wiki and has no source.

This is the reason why I don’t trust videos like Mattpatt. The truth is often stretched for entertainment value, or information is just made up to prove “they were right” about whatever the topic of the day was. He doesn’t even bother to cite the source he got “Eric Trueheart’s word of mouth” from... because it was wrong.

Sorry if this whole thing is more hostile than it intended to be... But Mattpatt was looking at the ENTIRELY wrong evidence for this show....

Irken Membrane is a fun theory... but Mattpatt picked the entirely wrong topics and points of discussion, even to the point of hiding the truth and straight-up lying to his audience about his sources.

It’s kinda like saying “Birds eat ghost peppers because they’re part dragon and dragons can handle spicy food”

While, yeah, Birds are descended from dinos, it’s kinda missing the full story there and it’s not the reason why birds can eat spicy food.

Irken Membrane is a fun fan theory... do what you want with it. I am not here to dissuade Irken Membrane headcanons...

I’m just here to encourage critical thinking, and perhaps NOT put words into content creators' mouths when there is no credible source for it just because it benefits your argument.

[alitaimagines]

“I’m human, can’t you see? I made, I made a mistake. please just look me in my face, tell me everything’s okay. cause I got it, I’ll never be like you.”

ENJI TODOROKI, TOSHINORI YAGI ☆ MY HERO ACADEMIA

 ☆ previous imagine: ♡ ☆ masterlist: ♡

“Enji, the baby is yours,” you whispered grabbing your now small bump, “and you’re walking away from it?” Enji scoffed, wiping his wet fingers that he was previously biting on. 

“you’re not a worthy wife. you’re nothing.”

your mouth dropped at the bluntness. the two of you weren’t official, not by far, but when you found out that you were holding his child, you thought that he was going to stick around. 

“so you’re leaving me with the child?” he nodded, “and you want nothing to do with me? what if he has your quirk? or your hair? it’s going to be very noticable that it’s your child.”

Enji shrugged, not bothering to reply to your warnings. your eyes pricked with tears, not knowing what you were going to do. you were going to keep the baby but the thought that Enji wanted no part in his life broke your heart. 

your sighed wavered as you walked away from the red haired boy. you were only eighteen. you didn’t know if you could deal with a child on your own. of course your family had already offered to help take care of the baby but the thought that you were going to be a single mother because of Enji’s selfish mindset made you want to turn around and kick him 

you looked down to your baby bump and rubbed it. 

“don’t ever think that you’re not loved. one day, we’ll find someone who is worth our time. someone who loves you as much as I do.”

U.A. had been nice enough to allow you to do homeschool to finish off your third year and have the credentials of graduating from such a luxury school. 

your baby had been born at the tail end of your third year so he was able to witness your graduation. your mother had made him a small graduation cap and gown as a surprise the day you were going to walk the stage. 

at first, you didn’t want to even bare to even step back onto U.A. grounds and the thought of it made you want to gag but when your sibling had told that Enji being there shouldn’t stop you from grabbing that diploma from the principal and calling yourself a U.A. graduate.

you made sure that you didn’t focus on Enji when his name was called. you drowned it out and payed attention to the sleeping baby in your arms. you were planning on walking across the stage with your son and made sure to show Enji that he was missing out on the best thing to ever happen to you. 

you lined up with the rest of the business department with your one month old child finally waking up from his nap. you knew he had to be fed soon but as soon as you heard your name be called, you positioned him so the camera could catch a glimpse of him. 

( your name ), graduating second in her class, and has three internships lined up at agencies in Tokyo, Osaka, and Hokkaido.” 

you waved the baby’s hand at the camera, gaining aww’s from the crowd as you grabbed the diploma from the principal and took the picture with the entire U.A. faculty. 

once the graduation ceremony was over and your family was finished taking photos with you, a few of your friends were generous enough to invite you out for a night in the town. your family more than willingly took the baby of your hands so you could enjoy at least tonight. 

as you were getting ready to leave the campus, you saw Enji staring at you with eyes that you were sure if they could kill, you would be dead where you stood. 

“you had the audacity to bring that child to graduation? are you stupid?” he asked a bit flustered, “why? you scared everyone would find out that Enji Todoroki has a baby that he doesn’t want to claim? cry me a river, Todoroki. I’m done trying to have you care for our child. to you, he’s a mistake but to me, he’s everything. next time you want to put your dick in someone, make sure to warn that poor son of a bitch.”

Enji stared at you in surprise. he would have never though you would ever raise your voice at him but the way you held onto his baby and walked away made him think that maybe he should’ve put more thought into his decision. 

he knew the baby was his. the small red hair poking out of his head just assured him that your son was a Todoroki. 

the night came when your friends beeped at you from the street. you kissed your baby goodnight as your mom reassured you that it was okay to enjoy your night out. the mom guilt was crawling up and your mom was able to see that a part of you didn’t want to leave your son but nevertheless, you kissed your son once more before grabbing your bag and leaving. 

all of your friends decided on a 18+ club for the night. you knew since none of you were old enough to drink, you would be getting home safe and all together. 

“do any of you want a soda? I’ll purchase the first person who raises their hand,” your friend Rei’s hand instantly shot up as she asked for a Bubly instead. 

you walked to the bar and ordered the sparkling water and soda as you went to the other side to wait for it. as you sat on the stool, you felt a weight next to you and looked at who sat down.

it was a boy, maybe only one or two years older than you. he had the blondest hair you had ever seen and blue eyes you could get lost in. he gave you a wide smile earning your shy one in return. 

“hey, I’m Toshinori,” he screamed through the music. you shook his hand in response, “I’m ( your name ), nice to meet you!” you yelled back. 

-

you woke up next to Toshi and smiled at his. ever since he became the symbol of peace and offered to move back to Japan to focus on his hero work here, the time you spent with him was more prevalent.

your son was now five. he had fiery red hair and developed a combination of your quirk and Enji’s. 

it took a while for you to trust another man after your situation with Enji but Toshi understood you completely. he was more than happy to take Enji’s place and become your sons new father. not only that but you were now carrying his brother. 

although you and Toshi weren’t married, he had gotten you pregnant and you didn’t necessarily hate the idea of making your son a brother. Toshi promised he would take at least two months off to make sure you and the baby were well taken care off while making sure your son didn’t feel too left out. 

when he found out his rival was your sons father, there’s a point a few times in the relationship that had you holding Toshi back from wanting to basically obliterate Enji into the ground.

the fact that Enji thought of you as scum made him gag and once you told him the comments he made about your son, he knew that if he ever came face to face with the fire hero, he would probably get arrested for assault

you struggled to get out of bed but knew you had to make a run to the store to get some food you had been craving since last night. 

as you made the trudge to your sons room, you noticed Toshi already in there, silently trying to wake him up. you knew that if neither of you did, he would be asleep till at least noon. 

your son stirred awake and hugged Toshi for the morning comfort as you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. your son had known of his situation with his dad and Toshi. he never really pressed you for more information but all he knew is that Toshi was his dad and his biological dad was no longer in the picture. 

“are you ready to go to the store?” Toshi asked as he placed a few small kisses on your bare shoulder after your shower. you hummed in response, “ ( your sons name ) is eating breakfast so we can stop for your coffee on the way to the store.” 

you gave Toshi a kiss before quickly finishing getting ready and waddling your way downstairs. your son and Toshi were talking amongst each other while Toshi swung the keys around his finger. 

“ready!” you exclaimed as your son hugged your shoulder, “lets make the trip quick. I don’t want people seeing you in public for a long time,” Toshi murmured in your ear as you rolled your eyes jokingly. 

since Toshi found out that you were pregnant, he trapped you inside of the house. he hated the media talking about him so when they spoke about you in a negative way, he was ready to fight anyone and everyone. Toshi even punched a slimy reporter who was saying comments about you and your son. 

the drive to the grocery store was filled with your son talking gibberish with you and Toshi. he had your personality because Enji was hardly talkative when you knew him. 

you three arrived to the store as Toshi and your son went in the opposite direction of you. you grabbed the shopping cart from the stack and made your way to the frozen food section. 

you had to get a weeks worth of dinner plans and a few snacks for yourself. you struggled to grab the green peas from the top of the shelf when you saw a hand reach for them and bring them down for you. 

you looked up to see the last person you expect. Enji was towering over you as shock was written all across of his face. the two of you stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do. 

“mommy! mommy! look! dad bought me a new hero coloring book,” you heard your son exclaim. you eyes widen as he stood next to you as Toshi immediately recognized what was happening, “mommy? is everything okay?” your son asked.

“yeah, everything is okay,” you whispered as Enji and Toshi unknowingly sized up with each other, “hey, c’mon, we need to hit the vitamin aisle. ( your sons name ) needs his vitamins and I’m running out of pre-natals,” you mentioned.

Enji stared at you again, “you’re pregnant to him?” he asked as you nodded slowly, “of course she is. it’s a family trip,” Toshi emphasized the word family as he looked down to his son. 

Enji eye’s widened as he stared at his first born. he had the Todoroki red hair and couldn’t help but wonder if he had his quirk or yours. Enji was able to tell that his son was terrified of the situation. 

“come on, let’s go,” you whispered to both your son. you were nothing short of a petty bitch. you gave Toshi a kiss on the lips, making sure it was as dramatic as possible before retracting. your son started to gag dramatically as you made sure your lipstick stain stayed on Toshi’s face making him chuckle, knowing exactly what you were doing. 

Toshi and Enji stared at each other, not saying a word for what felt like a century. 

“are you taking care of her? does he have my quirk?” Enji muttered making Toshi laugh, “of course I am. I’m not you. I take care of what is mine,” Toshi retorted with a chuckle at the end, “but he does but he also has her quirk so it’s not like you’re anything too special. he uses ( your name )’s quirk more anyway.” 

Enji growled at the fact that Toshi was getting amusement at Enji’s misfortune. Tosh gave one final laugh before leaning into Enji’s ear. 

“looks like I won again.” 

ALITA 

[corie-the-writer]

Ignite - ch.1

Chapter 1

Chloe was aggravated as she left the hospital early that morning. She was thankful that Kelly had given her one of his long sleeve fire shirts, and Will Halstead had found a pair of scrub pants small enough for her to wear. She had only escaped with second degree burns on her right hand and some smoke inhalation, but she had lost everything. 

Her father had given her the day off so she could go shopping to replace the clothes she had lost so she could get back to work, along with handing her a wad of cash, since her bank card had melted in the fire. The woman had tried to protest, but had no luck. The only good thing that came from losing everything was remembering that the items that belonged to her mother and brother were in a fireproof safe in her father's basement. 

Kelly had offered to take the day off of work to help her get the things she needed but she had declined. He had even offered for her to crash at his apartment with Matt until she could find another place, but she had decided to stay with her father.

Chloe had decided to stop at Target first. Filling the cart with shower essentials, a few make-up products, a new hair brush and hair dryer, toothbrush and toothpaste. Chloe had scanned the clothing section, finding a few plain white, black and gray t-shirts, along with a couple of pajama shorts. Once she had paid for the items, she had decided to hit up the mall to find a few jeans, a new pair of boots and a new leather jacket. 

It was noon by the time Chloe arrived back at her father's home with everything she had needed to replace the ruined items. She had put the clothes away into the drawers and closet, and then grabbed all of her bathroom items and headed to take a shower. 

Once she had gotten showered and the smoke off of her from the night before, Chloe had put on her underwear and bra, and then wiggled into a pair of black skinny jeans with a few rips in the knees, black boots, and a white v-neck t-shirt, and then put on a red flannel shirt and slipped on her black leather jacket. Deciding to pile her hair onto her head in a messy bun, Chloe headed back into the bathroom to brush her teeth and put on a little make-up. 

When Chloe felt complete, she had grabbed her jeep Rubicon keys and headed out of the house to head to the district. 

"Oh my god...are you okay?" Trudy Platt questioned as Chloe leaned against the desk counter, seeing the bandaged hand. 

"Just peachy." Chloe taking off the sunglasses and tucking the metal onto her shirt, "I'm gonna need a new badge and gun." Chloe stated and watched as Trudy reached under the desk. 

"Here. Voight called me last night. Got it together this morning." Trudy slide the badge and gun with a holster towards her. 

"Thank you." Chloe hooked the badge to her jeans first, and then holstered the new gun on her hip, "I really appreciate it." Chloe smiled gratefully to the woman.  

"I'm really glad you're okay Chlo..." Trudy spoke honestly as Chloe gave a nod to the older woman as she headed for the stairs. 

Chloe had known Trudy Platt for most of her life, the older woman taking her under her wing when her mother had passed away. When Chloe was young, Hank had brought Chloe to the district while he had worked and she had spent time with the woman behind the desk. 

The dark haired detective went up the stairs to find her partner Adam Ruzek waiting for her, "About damn time..." Adam sighed, "I'm starving and we need to go question a couple of people." Adam added causing Chloe to playfully role her eyes. 

"You think we can stop by Verizon so I can pick up a new phone?" Chloe questioned as Ruzek grabbed his jacket and gun. 

"Yeah." Adam slipped his jacket on, "Anywhere else princess?" Adam teased causing Chloe to glare at him as they began the walk down the stairs. 

"Actually, the bank too." Chloe chuckled when Adam let out a dramatic sigh as he pushed the door open, "Who's driving?" Chloe questioned. 

"I can." Adam grumbled heading across the street to his car with Chloe following. 

Once the pair had stopped by Verizon, the bank and to grab food, Chloe had been filled in on the case intelligence had caught that morning. Adam had given her a file to look over of the murdered man. 

The man was shot in an alley with no form of ID, gun powder underneath his nails, a stamp on his left hand, and a hotel key. While Atwater and Halstead had been at the crime scene asking surrounding business owners for a look at their security footage, Ruzek and Chloe were left to investigate the hotel room and figure out where the stamp on the man's hand had led to. 

"I've seen this stamp before..." Chloe commented as she looked at the photo of the stamp, "I just don't remember where." Chloe added as Adam pulled into the parking lot of the skeezy hotel on the edge of town. 

Chloe had shut the file sticking it under the seat, she lifted her head to look around to find 319B. Both Detectives got out of the car and made sure to cover their badges and guns, before walking towards the flight of stairs that led to the second floor. 

"Chlo..." Adam spoke quietly as they reached the door they were looking for, seeing that the door was slightly open with blood on the door handle. 

Chloe quickly pulled her gun with Adam doing the same, and moved in front of Adam to get on the other side of the door. Adam gave her an alert look, she nodded in understanding as Adam used his left hand to push the door open slightly, while having his gun aimed. Adam cleared the part of the room he could see, while Chloe quickly scanned the side she could see before they entered. 

"Chicago PD..." Chloe spoke loudly, nearly gagging at the smell from inside the hotel room. 

Chloe scanned the bedroom area and noticed a large suitcase on the bed filled with various things, some scattered on the bed as Adam searched the bathroom.  

"Body.." Adam spoke loud enough for Chloe to hear, "It's clear..." Adam came back into the bedroom area to see Chloe covering her mouth and nose, "I'm gonna call it in." Chloe gave a nod, moving to grab a black glove from her jacket pocket and slipping it on to rummage through the suitcase to see if she could find anything. 

"Can you check to see if he has any ID, maybe a stamp on his hand too?" Chloe questioned to her partner. 

Chloe looked to the suitcase, digging through some of the clothes and found a bag of drugs along with a couple wads of cash and a hand gun. 

"Guy in there is Sortelli Michaels." Adam spoke as he walked out of the bathroom with the ID in his hand, "No stamp though." Adam moved to the bed to see the drugs, gun and cash, "Drug deal gone wrong?" Adam questioned out loud. 

"I'm not sure..." Chloe looked to the suitcase and noticed that the top of the material was a little bumpy, "Do you have your knife on you?" Chloe questioned and Adam mumbled a yeah, so she held out her hand to take the knife. Flipping the knife open, Chloe had cut the material of the suitcase and stuck her gloved hand in carefully feeling a few pictures, "Bingo." Chloe pulled the pictures out and her stomach churned. 

"What the..." Adam looked over Chloe's shoulder to see the photos. 

There were three different photos of three different girls somewhere between eighteen and twenty two. 'Cleo. Samantha. Veronica' were written on the polaroid's, and they looked to be beaten and half dressed with rope in their mouths. 

Chloe and Adam had waited until the crime scene investigators arrived, and then headed back to start searching through the missing person's database for the three girls. 

"Okay, fill us in." Hank Voight stand crossing his arms over his chest, leaning against Chloe's desk as she and her partner stood near the large white board. 

"So far we have Frank Waters that was found in the alley with three gun shots to the chest. He had the hotel key, and there we had found Sortelli Michaels. He has no criminal record, but he had a large stash of cash, drugs and a hand gun. When searching through his suitcase, we found a photo of these three women. Cleo, Samantha, and Veronica. We're running their names through the database now." Chloe explained. 

"I decided to reach out to a couple of my CI's and asked about the stamp found on Waters hand." Adam began, "There is a nightclub called NIXX that is apparently real high class, mostly rich men." Adam explained. 

"So let's start looking into Michaels and Waters background. See if this NIXX club is tied into these murders some how. Halstead, Atwater, try locating the families of these girls see what you can find out. Chloe, Ruzek, start looking into the guys history, work, family, friends." Hank stated, "We not only have two dead bodies but three missing girls, let's find them." 

Chloe and Ruzek gave a nod in understanding, grabbing their jackets and guns, Chloe had grabbed the file for Michaels and Waters with a list of their home and work addresses. Since the families had yet to be notified, Chloe knew that they would be the ones to break the news. 

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, Chloe pulled out the device as Ruzek began to drive to Waters home. Seeing that Kelly had text her, she quickly read the text. 

K: Just wanted to check in to see how you were. C: Good, got everything I needed. K: If I have a minute later, I'll give you a call. 

Chloe had not bothered to reply because she and Kelly both knew just how busy their jobs were, so she shoved the phone back into her pocket and looked to the file to go over Waters information listed.

"It says he is married to a woman named Mary, two sons, Derrick and Michael." Chloe read information to Ruzek as he pulled up to a large two story home in a good part of Chicago. Tucking the file back into the seat, Chloe and Ruzek got out of the car and headed up the sidewalk that led to the house. Knocking on the large oak door, Chloe shoved her hands in her pockets for a moment waiting for someone to answer while Ruzek looked to the ground. 

These types of visits were never easy, but after a while you tend to get use to the robot voice that comes out of your mouth as you tell someone they had lost a loved one. 

Hearing the door open, Chloe took her hands out of her pocket and saw a blonde haired woman in her forties answer the door with a smile, "May I help you?" The woman questioned kindly. 

"Mrs. Mary Waters?" Chloe questioned and watched the woman nod her head, "My name is Detective Chloe Voight, and this is my partner Detective Adam Ruzek from Chicago PD." Chloe stated the mantra for visits like this. 

"Oh god..." Mary Waters started to tremble.

"May we come in to talk?" Ruzek had spoken up. 

Chloe watched as the woman gave a nod, opening the door a little further for them to walk inside the home. Chloe locked her hands together in front of her as Adam broke the news that her husband was murdered early that morning. Chloe had learned to shut off the part of her mind that caused her to get emotional when she was on a case, and had to break the news to loved ones. Once the woman had cried into Adam's chest for a solid twenty minutes, Adam ushered her to a chair and sat her down. 

"We need to ask you a few questions..." Chloe spoke gently, "Do you know what your husband was doing out that late last night?" Chloe questioned, making sure to keep her voice gentle. 

"He uh...he said that he had to do some late night work. He's a reporter, so he always wanted to make sure that he got the first scoop before anyone else." Mary explained. 

"With him being a reporter, was there ever any threats? Anyone that had a problem with him?" Adam questioned. 

"No, not that I'm aware of." Mary answered.

"And he worked at Chicago Times, correct?" Chloe questioned, remembering the file information. 

"Yeah. But he had started working for a gossip news website a couple months ago." Mary explained as her oldest son walked into the room from downstairs. 

"Ma, what's going on?" Derrek questioned. 

"These are detectives with Chicago PD." Mary sighed, "Your father was murdered last night." 

Chloe watched the young man, seeing that his hand clenched at his side, his jaw set quickly and shook his head, while his mother began to cry again. Chloe had watched as the young man walked out the front door, and decided to go check on him, while Adam wrapped up questions with Mary. 

"Derrek." Chloe spoke his name to see him starting to walk off the property, "I'm Detective Chloe Voight." Chloe approached as he stopped, "I'm very sorry for your loss." 

"Thanks." Derrek mumbled, shoving his hands into his pocket. 

Chloe was good at reading people, and she knew that Derrek had wanted to speak about something because it looked like he had wanted to explode within moments. 

"Is there anyone you can think of who would do this?" Chloe questioned gently, "Maybe a co-worker, a rival?" Chloe suggested.

"No, everyone loved him." Derrek stated, "I just...I found out last night that my dad was cheating on my mom." Derrek sighed, "We got into a huge fight about it. I overheard him on the phone talking to a woman, promising to meet her last night." Derrek explained, "I told him if he didn't end things with her I would tell my mom." 

"Do you know the woman's name?" Chloe questioned, "Any information that could  help me find her?" 

"Uh, I think her name is Ashley." Derrek explained, "I hacked into his phone about a week ago when I started connecting the dots. He had several texts to her. I ended up emailing them to myself in case he didn't come clean." Derrek explained. 

"Do you still have the emails?" Chloe questioned and watched as he gave a nod to fish out his cell phone. 

"The thing is, mom and dad cheat on each other all the time." Derrek explained as he got into his emails, "I'm just trying to look out for my kid brother, he's too young to know what's going on but the times they find someone, they start becoming shit parents." Derrek handed the phone to Chloe. 

Chloe began to scan through the screenshots of the texts shared between Waters and Ashley, seeing the nightclub NIXX being mentioned a couple of times, and then saw a photo of Ashley, a red-head, as Adam came out of the house. 

"Do you mind if I email these to myself?" Chloe questioned. 

"Go ahead." 

Once Chloe had emailed the screenshots to herself, she had given Derrek her card, "If you happen to think of anything, please don't hesitate to reach out." Chloe thanked the young man and headed to the car with Ruzek.

[rpgsandbox]

          Contents of the boxed set, including planned stretch goals

Kalisz. Shit. We’re still only in Kalisz. We need to get out of here. Fast. The artillery barrages are getting closer. The Soviets will be here soon. Sarge says we move out after dark. I’m not sure we’ll last that long.

A classic roleplaying game returns. The new retro-apocalyptic edition of Twilight: 2000, published in partnership with Game Designers' Workshop, goes back to the roots of the franchise with a boxed set for sandbox roleplaying in the devastation of World War III. The new edition will be the fourth in the series, the first being released by GDW in 1984. Just like the original version, the new edition is set in a year 2000 devastated by war – now in an alternate timeline where the Moscow Coup of 1991 succeeded and the Soviet Union never collapsed.

                                         Art by Niklas Brandt

"The first edition of Twilight: 2000 was an iconic game for me back in the '80s, and we are humbled and honored to work with Marc Miller and Game Designers' Workshop to bring a new edition to life. The original game was really ahead of its time. Our goal is to build on the amazing sandbox survival gameplay and develop it further, making it more accessible using the tools of modern game design," says lead game designer Tomas Härenstam.

"When I saw this proposal to revisit the Twilight universe, I signed on immediately. As I have seen the work proceed, I have not been disappointed, and I look forward to seeing this project become reality," says Marc Miller of Far Future Enterprises and co-founder of Game Designers' Workshop.

                Sample Layout Spread – Texts Are Placeholder Only

                Sample Layout Spread – Texts Are Placeholder Only

Also part of the project are Amargosa Press (who have recently announced the new Dark Conspiracy 4th Edition RPG), Polish RPG publisher Black Monk Games (who will act as a consultant on the Poland in 2000 AD game setting as well as publish a Polish edition of the game later on), and Far Future Enterprises (who publishes the fifth edition of the Traveller science-fiction roleplaying game).

                                   The Twilight: 2000 Boxed Set

Making RPGs in boxed sets is expensive, but we really feel it's right way to go for Twilight: 2000, bringing back the feel of the first edition of the game with that iconic Poland map.

If we reach our base funding goal, the boxed set will at the very least include two beautifully illustrated full color books – a Players' Manual and a Referee's Manual, each of about 100 pages detailing rules, setting, gear and scenarios – as well as several empty character sheets and a huge, full color travel map (format 864x558mm) of central Poland on one side and southern Sweden on the other.

If we exceed our base goal, we will add more content to the boxed set as stretch goals. These include combat maps and tokens, cards for initiative and encounters, custom dice, additional content in the books, and more.

                Unlocking stretch goals will add content to the boxed set.

LIMITED EDITION METAL BOX: As a exclusive to this Kickstarter, you can even get your copy of Twilight: 2000 in a limited edition metal box. This deluxe edition of the game will only be available via this Kickstarter and will not be produced again. To get your game in the metal box, choose the LIMITED EDITION reward.

                              Metal Box Design (Work in Progress)

A Referee's Screen will not be included in the boxed set, but can be added to your pledge.

                                Referee's Screen – Work in Progress

Some say it didn’t have to be this way. Some say history could have taken a different turn. If the Soviet Union had collapsed back in ‘91 when it was on the ropes. If the Gang of Eight military coup against Gorbachev had failed, the world would have looked very different today. Some say. I think it’s bullshit. This storm was always coming, sooner or later.

It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. Now, all that matters is to survive each day.

It’s all up to us now. Our squad. Jonesy. Diaz, manning the M113. That Polish girl Katje. The men and women around me. No one else will come to our rescue. The final words from division HQ, before they signed off for good, left little doubt.

“You’re on your own now.”

Just like the original game, the new edition of Twilight: 2000 is set in Poland, but the game also offers an alternative Swedish setting, as well as tools for placing the game anywhere in the world. In the game, players take roles of survivors in the aftermath of World War III – soldiers or civilians. Their goal, beyond surviving for another day, can be to find a way back home, to carve out their own fiefdom where they are, to find out more about the mysterious Operation Reset, and maybe, just maybe, make the world a little bit better again.

The core gameplay builds on the hexcrawling system established in Mutant: Year Zero and Forbidden Lands RPGs (both Silver ENnie winners for Best Rules, in 2015 and 2019), developing it further to fit the gritty world of Twilight: 2000. The characters explore the devastated lands using a large hexagon map of Poland or Sweden – or wherever in the world you wish to place your campaign.

                    Poland Map by Tobias Tranell – Work in Progress

                      Sweden Map by Tobias Tranell – Work in Progress

                                 Map Detail – Work in Progress

Ronson carries the SAW. Diaz is like the Professor on Gilligan’s Island, he can build a new carburetor out of a pair of coconuts and some dental floss. Kasia, all of 17, is the closest thing we have to a medic since we lost Doc. Jonesy is a ginger who Diaz says looks like the cat in Aliens which is how a German intel officer got a name like Jonesy. Top’s been in the Marines long enough to have fought in the Tet Offensive… and me? I’m just a grunt. We’re all trying to get by. Top once called us “the last family.” He might be right. Kasia made a gagging gesture when he did. But none of us expect to see our actual families again.

                                            Art by Niklas Brandt

The core rules of the game build on the Year Zero Engine (used in award-winning RPGs such as ALIEN, Tales From the Loop, Forbidden Lands and Mutant: Year Zero), but heavily adapted to fit Twilight: 2000 and its focus on gear and gritty realism.

Twilight: 2000 will be crunchier and have less random elements than other YZE games. Twilight: 2000 will get a solid ruleset that captures the gritty, realistic feel of the original, but in a more accessible way and that fully realizes the potential for sandbox gameplay. We aim for a system that retains depth and complexity, but that is less granular and easier to use.

Instead of a dice pool as in other YZE games, Twilight: 2000 uses a two-dice system. You'll roll one base die for your skill and one base die for the attribute connected to that skill. Base dice range from D6s to D12s. Skills and attributes are rated from A to D, with a better score giving you a better die to roll. Attributes and skills are fairly broad, with specialties used to fine-tune your character. Combat uses battlemaps with 10-meter hexes to regulate movement and ranged attacks. Extensive systems for critical injuries as well as component damage to vehicles give crunch to the system, while keeping it fast and playable.

More information about the rules will be presented in updates during this Kickstarter.

                                              Art by Niklas Brandt

                                           Art by Niklas Brandt

Twilight: 2000 is a game with a large and proud community. We want to extend a big thank you to everyone, for your warm welcome to us and the upcoming game since the project was announce a few months back.

Beside the comments field here on the Kickstarter, we have opened a section dedicated to Twilight: 2000 at our forums, and you're very welcome to join the discussions there. Also, of course you have the pre-existing Twilight: 2000 Facebook group which is an amazing resource and community hub, and the new Facebook group Twilight: 2000 by Free League, created specifically for the new edition.

We are very eager to hear your questions, thoughts and requests for the new edition. Even if we might not be able to fulfill every wish, we certainly want to listen to your advice and feedback.

After the Kickstarter concludes, later in the fall, we will share a full Alpha PDF of the game to all backers, so you will be able to playtest the game and  give your feedback on it before it goes to print.

                                             Art by Niklas Brandt

Kickstarter campaign ends: Thu, September 3 2020 8:00 PM BST

Website: Free League Publishing

[gwoongi]

𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗉𝗂𝖽 ♥︎ jeongguk (ft namjoon)

𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗉𝗂𝖽 jeon jeongguk / reader (ft kim namjoon) genre: pornstar au, smut rating: explicit words: 4749

The sight of his shit-eating grin leaves Namjoon with a prickle of hot frustration that hurts when the video rolls to an end, with no flashy end credits or promotion. Just a black screen with his own idiot reflection staring back at him.

a/n: i……………i don’t know what came over me.

warnings: graphic sexual content, rough sex, porn themes, choking, impreg kink, creampie, squirting, daddy kink, loving sex, dirty talking, degradation/humiliation, unprotected sex, cum eating, porn couple, name-calling (slut shaming?), bisexual namjoon, dirty talk literally inspired by dirty talk i see in sexy stuff im sorry

Namjoon liked porn. Like virtually every guy in his fraternity, Namjoon watched porn almost daily. There was something addictive, like a drug, about visiting PornHub; porn was like an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while, and watching porn was like relieving an itch that he couldn’t quite reach.

“The fact that all you do when you get home is watch porn is just sad,” his friend Sunmi had said, with her cheek pushed up against the worn bicep of Namjoon’s one of many frat brothers, Hoseok. Namjoon had just scowled and said nothing, not feeling the need to defend his unrequited friendship with porn because, “everybody watches porn”. To him, it was kind of like gaming; everybody played games, some more than others. And Namjoon enjoyed exploring every category, watching searches with pretty thumbnails of peach genitals or cum-stuffed faces, holes leaking with it.

It was a Friday evening, the end of Namjoon’s long haul of work from a week of University. With an untouched linguistics assignment flashing to be given attention in his emails, Namjoon closed the tab and sighed loudly with a frown, rubbing the side of his face with his hand. Boredom was the bane of his life, and he could feel it slowly creeping up on him, wrapping like a snake to prey around his body and very slowly squeezing the life out of him. After a few moments of exhausting hesitation, Namjoon groaned and reluctantly reached for his laptop.

“When you’re bored, try and reach out to a friend,” was something his Mother had always said. Granted, she didn’t quite mean friend as a synonym for PornHub dot com, but at the end of the day, she never specified what a friend was or who the friend could be. And, look, Google filled in the blanks for him as he typed in ‘p’, and like a loyal good best friend, Pornhub logged him in automatically, his premium membership like a badge of honour.

Namjoon glanced at the time- ten fourty three in the evening, and the exhaustion from classes and his late afternoon shift at the Italian restaurant down the street still hung over him, despite the glorious view of cum-filled cunts and leaking dicks. Because, when dabbling with porn, Namjoon wasn’t picky. Life could throw a thousand warm wet vaginas in Namjoon’s face, or a thousand veiny cocks, and he’d still find himself with his hands stuffed down the front of his pants, begging for some kind of release. Sunmi’s old words echoed in his head- it was sad. What he was doing, and how often he did it, was actually the saddest thing in the world.

Unlike normal, Namjoon hovered his cursor over the categories, undecided on where to go to. He’d viewed every category to death, spending hours jerking to images of girls on all fours, dressed like cats, gags stuffed in their mouths; boys with big dicks up their asses, tears down their faces. You name it, and Namjoon has probably seen it, bought the t-shirt, left a rating. As he scrolls, Namjoon’s cursor lands on a category he admits is rather alien: Verified Couples.

Not that Namjoon is at all against love- in actual fact, he thinks that is what he yearns for most of all. Somebody he can take care of, and look after, and wake up in the morning next to and stroke hair from their face, all whilst simultaneously being able to shove their faces into the mattress and fuck them, and be fucked. He’s just never explored the Verified Couples section, because honestly, he thinks he might get a little jealous of either either party in the video. What if the girl is the hottest woman he’s ever seen before, and she’s being dominated by a guy Namjoon knows from three seconds isn’t good for her? And what if the sexiest man alive is wasting his time with a selfish girl who only cares about herself?

Regardless, Namjoon decides that today, this Friday of April, he is going to explore this category like Lara Croft in a new tomb.

He clicks, unbothered, and scrolls for a few seconds. Nothing is catching his eye; none of these thumbnails show him anything he’s never seen before, and they’re all painfully mediocre and white, some just plain weird with titles like “Abusing my husband with feet!”, which is certainly not going to make him feel good tonight. After a minute or two of bored searching, Namjoon almost realises why he never dapples into this section of porn when he pauses, mildly interested in a thumbnail and a title reading, “Rough sex with my girlfriend.”

The sight of the thumbnail takes his breath away; a man, with unbelievably toned thighs and a gorgeous curved ass holds his girlfriend like she is the last thing alive on the planet, his arms wrapped around her body, the skin bunching up like old Greek statues you’d find in galleries. She is made of marble and the guy is the sculptor, breathing life into her skin as he, from the thumbnail, holds her side with his left and her small tit with his right. The thumbnail moves as he hovers the cursor over it, and for a short few seconds, Namjoon watches the boy’s hand move from her tit to her throat, and the muscles in his hand suggest he is holding tightly, his hips meeting hers in a sweet kiss as she matches his thrusts.

Namjoon can already feel the discomfort tenting in his joggers and he clicks the video without a minute of hesitation.

It begins like most pornos, the sight of the boyfriend’s enlarged cock at the bottom of the frame, the delightful view of a V-line and honey abs filling the screen for a moment as the boyfriend fiddles with the camera of amazing quality. In the background, Namjoon sees the girlfriend, her body dressed in pointless coral lingerie, the sight of perked nipples soaking through and faded bites on her collarbones. Before enlarging the video, Namjoon checks the uploader: koopid. The bio reading, Fucking Y/N until she cries for me to cum inside her, signed by Jeongguk. Now he’s familiar with names, and it feels as though he’s watching in through the window, hiding behind curtains as Jeongguk fucks the living shit out of his unbelievably cute girlfriend Y/N.

“Mmm, you look so pretty, baby girl.”

Namjoon notes how sweet the unknown Jeongguk sounds, almost as if his voice had been dunked in honey, and his words were the glump of thick substance dripping down. He sucks in a breath when Jeongguk comes into view, naked for the world to see, a smile on his face Namjoon believes was made for him. He’s boyish enough for Namjoon to enjoy, and he leans back, allowing the couple to do what they intend to do.

“So fucking pretty,” Jeongguk comments between his teeth, his fingers looping around your underwear. “Who bought you this?”

“You did,” you reply, shimmying to aid Jeongguk as he slowly pulls your panties down the length of your thighs, smooth and newly shaved. Namjoon can see a shine. Marble. “Do you like it?”

“Mm, that’s right. I love it, baby,” Jeongguk says, lifting you with ease up and out of the panties, already relatively soaked from whatever foreplay he did beforehand to get you hot and flustered. “Are you gonna let me fuck you tonight, for everybody to see?”

A gasp leaves your lips. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” he murmurs in reply.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Mm, good girl. You’re so good,” Jeongguk praises, kissing beneath your chin and encircling your arms around you. You grab onto his biceps for balance as he smooches the skin, with one swift movement setting you down on your back onto the plush pastels of the bedsheets, a whitewashed blue with pretty tiled patterns on the pillows. You lie there, staring at Jeongguk as he shadows over you, a hand on either side of your body. The muscles in his back flinch as he moves downwards in a curve, kissing a messy line from your chin to your sternum, leaving behind a visibly wet trail Namjoon follows with his eyes. “You’re so good for Daddy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, only for you, Daddy,” you squeak out, like a little kitten, a strangled and high-pitched moan leaving your lips as Jeongguk licks a line between your breasts, one hand palming a tit in circles, his thumb rubbing your nipple beneath the lace of the bralette. “Only for you.”

“I know,” Jeongguk acknowledges, rising up when he realises he’s prolonging things. “Keep being good for me, okay, baby?”

You mewl with a nod as he continues, getting off from his words, a vocal God, “you gonna let Daddy have your sweet little pussy, hm? Let me fill you up with my cock, fill your pussy with Daddy’s cum?”

“Please,” you breathe out, arching your back up as Jeongguk removes the bra with one hand, taunting his experience to the audience and helping you slip out of it, your perked breasts sloping upwards like tiny mountains, a delicious treat for Daddy. He contains a groan. Tonight, he wants to be mean. Tonight, Jeongguk wants to have you all, every inch of you, he wants to shove his cock so far inside of you that it hurts. For the first time on his channel, Jeongguk wants to be rough. He wants to put on a show, show everybody who you belong to. “Please. I want it- I want you to fuck me.”

Jeongguk palmed your breasts for a while longer, deciding what he was going to do with you. After a very short briefing in his head, Jeongguk hummed to himself as if thoughtfully pleased and moved between your legs, satisfied and proud when you spread them open for him. He let out a hiss between his teeth, looking at the wetness pooling between your legs.

“My, my,” Jeongguk comments. “All this for me?”

“All for you,” you confirm. He is so close, his touch burning, and you rise off the mattress impatiently, whining loudly. “Please, Daddy. I need you.”

Jeongguk makes a noise with his mouth, as if disappointed. He isn’t, but he knows how to push your buttons. He knows what to do and when to do it to get a reaction. “I don’t think you deserve my cock just yet. Daddy needs to hear what you want him to do to your precious little pussy. Hm? Tell me, tell me what you want me to do, baby.”

Namjoon thumbs his head, rubbing pre-cum like it was a new lotion. His cock was throbbing, pulsing as if breathing on its own.

“Please,” you begin, your voice enough for Namjoon to wrap his fingers around his cock in anticipation, “I need your cock inside of me. I want you to fuck me, until I can’t walk. Please, please, you own me. You own my pussy. Ugh- I need-to feel you inside of me.”

Jeongguk almost has the nerve to look unsatisfied, but he reckons, and only because he knows the ratings depend on it, that he’s prolonged it enough. He knows what everyone’s here for. Even though he does, nobody else cares about what you have to say. He pretends to think about it, humming once more before smiling, dragging you down the mattress by your thighs so your wet cunt is closer to his dick. You writhe with anticipation as Jeongguk massages his cock for a few moments, sucking in a breath and then positioning the tip near your entrance. He’s going in raw today.

Underneath him, you moan as it teasingly prods at your entrance, throbbing for his length. From where he kneels between your opened legs, Jeongguk stares at your hair dancing around your head like a halo, the blush burning on your cheeks. With his mouth open with admiration, his heart widening out of pure love, Jeongguk remembers what he’s doing and without warning, shoves his cock inside, without giving you the chance to grow accustomed to his hardened length.

He’s big- Namjoon, behind the screen, can see that.

Beneath his body, and heavily breathing torso, you cry out with pleasure, a large and loud moan ripping out into the silence of your bedroom. It sounds like Heaven to everybody’s ears, Jeongguk responding with a grunt of pride, knowing only he can make you feel this good. He pulls out and thrusts back in roughly, without caring for how it hurts. From the angle of the camera, Namjoon gets a good view of Jeongguk’s dick pushing in and out of your hole, that tiny hole Namjoon thought nothing could ever get inside. He watches with wonder, his expression like a child in a sweets shop, as Jeongguk pulls you closer to him, pushing deeper inside.

“Feel good?” Jeongguk asks through laboured breaths.

“Yes!” you squeeze out, tightening around him. “Oh, yes!”

“Mm, you like Daddy’s cock?”

“I love your cock,” you rush out. “I love Daddy’s cock so much.”

“Hmm,” Jeongguk replies happily, the praise making his chest inflate with adoration and confidence. “I love how you take my cock, baby. Your pussy is so pretty with my cock inside.”

You fall silently shortly after that, save the erotic groans and moans and the distinct clapping of skin, like an applause for all your hard work. Namjoon pumps his own dick desperately, his eyes flitting from your face to your tits, the right cupped by Jeongguk’s large hand and the other bouncing gorgeously in the light, to the way Jeongguk’s ass clenches as he finds a new spot to abuse inside of you, a new spot to send you yelling out with pleasure; Namjoon shakily breaths out a moan as he stares at your gaping cunt, wet and glistening like a 90’s edit from Tumblr, Jeongguk’s dick moving in and out with wet sounds.

Jeongguk changes the pace, quickening his thrusts as if it doesn’t even matter. He gets drunk off the reaction, grinning with a soft chuckle as you cling to his skin like letting go will kill you, each thrust met with a yelp that increases in pitch and volume. Namjoon knows how this looks and sounds, but he doesn’t care anyway. His laptop is on its side as Namjoon frantically pulls his joggers down to pool around his ankles, his red and angry cock snuggling into his hand as he watches the pair of you, entangled together, lovers, in a sort of love Namjoon can’t even wet dream of having. He looks at the screen through a blurry gaze and sees you writhing with pleasure, tears slowly pulling down your flamed cheeks.

“O-oh, right there!” you mewl, your hands clenching around the skin on Jeongguk’s thighs. “Oh my God, Jeongguk, right there.”

He visibly falters, as if the screen glitched, and the hand wrapped around your tit moves up to your throat. The thumbnail- Namjoon groans out loud at the thought, remembering how it went. Jeongguk wraps his hand around your throat, his thumb where it needs to be, his eyes glued to your face observing your reaction. He wants to test how far you can go. He wants to make you cry, and hurt. He wants you to feel humiliated, embarrassed by how you beg for him to keep going deeper, faster, rougher. Jeongguk feels like a church-boy discovering sex for the first time, testing the waters on how many sins he can break before his Priest father comes into the room.

“Who said you could call me that?” Jeongguk sneers, his hand tightening slightly. You moan around the struggle, your eyes lidded and heavy with the euphoric weight of sex. “Hm?” Jeongguk’s hips stutter faster, rougher, sharply hitting a spot that sends you in a squealing mess.

“I-I’m sorry, Daddy,” you gasp. “‘m sorry. I won’t do it again. I’ll be good.”

“You’ve disappointed me,” Jeongguk admits. Then, quite suddenly, he stops moving, the absence of his pace sending you writhing with anxiousness. The threatening orgasm begs to spill over, like a nearly full glass that needs a few more drops before overflowing from the top. “You gonna make it up to me, little one?”

You nod against the sheets. “Yes, Daddy. I promise I’ll be good.”

“Okay, baby girl,” he agrees, He sits back on his heels and Namjoon watches with agonising anticipation as Jeongguk sits between his own legs, his feet behind him, pulling you from the mattress onto his lap where your own legs wrap around his tiny waist. “Fuck yourself on Daddy’s cock.”

Like a good girl, you don’t need to be told twice. Namjoon finds out from the way you look at your boyfriend between barely open eyes that you’re a total cockslut; you wrap your arms around Jeongguk loosely as you sit back down on his cock, like it’s your throne and you own it. It takes a moment for you to readjust to his size, sucking in a breath and rising up and down on it, doing all the work as Jeongguk watches with his tongue between his teeth, his arms up with palms flat on your back.

“Hmm, show everybody how good my cock makes you feel,” he instructs, moving his mouth to your nipple and giving it a light suck. It’s as if he’s taking a toothless bite out of a whip of ice cream, getting a taste before going in for the whole thing. He looks up at you between his thick eyelashes, “go on. Show them who’s making you feel good.” With one hand, Jeongguk kindly wipes away the tears from your face. “Don’t even think about cumming. You haven’t earned it.”

Namjoon can feel his body deepening with a hot flush as he watches- perhaps not entirely with want but with need, a need to be loved and fucked and held the way you are. He never realised how much he needed koopid in his life until he stumbled across it, and his heart panics with an unfamiliar lust when you rock your head back and look shyly at the camera.

Namjoon can see now that your face is hot, sweaty slightly and tear-stained, your lips swollen from whatever foreplay Jeongguk failed to include in the video. He doesn’t care- he’s torn between looking at your eyes and your tits, bouncing around Jeongguk’s lips, or your ass, moving with each deep sit you take on Jeongguk’s dick, his length buried in your warm cunt. He wants to see more; he wants to see your pussy stuffed with dick, he wants to see the cum pour out of you slowly like cake mixture. With his hand moving quickly up and down his own length, Namjoon can feel the nerves twisting inside of him, like the rise in volume slowly creeping, his orgasm nearing. You lift yourself up and down on Jeongguk’s dick like you were made for it, like you were the only person worthy of sitting on it.

“Dirty little slut, being selfish with my cock,” Jeongguk words around your nipple. “Huh? Look at you, taking in all my cock like a big brave girl. Bet everyone wants to see your pretty pussy.”

Yes, Namjoon says to himself. Please. Please.

“Do you want that?” he edges. “Want everyone to see how red and stretched your hole is for me?”

You don’t reply, stubbornly, fucking yourself onto Jeongguk’s dick like its your life’s purpose. Jeongguk doesn’t want to show people. He doesn’t want them to see everything on this one video- if they want to see your pussy stretched out and pretty for them, then they can check out your other videos. Namjoon’s a porn connoisseur; he know looks, and he knows that’s what Jeongguk wants as he glances you up and down and then at the camera. He smiles smugly, and the audience suddenly know it too. He’s not going to give you what you want. It’s his turn to be selfish. Namjoon moans out loud.

“Tell me baby,” Jeongguk asks, “what you want?”

“Please-please,” you gasp out, “please c-cum inside of me. Please. Please- oh, Guk, please, baby. I’m close. Please cum in me-fill me up?”

Jeongguk kisses your breast. “Do you deserve it, princess?”

“Y-yes, I do,” you reply. “I’ve been good for Daddy. I’m Daddy’s good little girl.”

“Mmm, you are,” he agrees. He kisses your breast sweetly once more, looking up to kiss you round on the lips. Around him, you groan, sending butterfly kisses across his lips and he smiles, half forgetting what he’s doing. From his smelly bedroom, Namjoon thinks it’s sweet. He wants to cum so badly.

“Okay, honey. I’ll cum inside of you this once,” Jeongguk complies. He pulls you flush against his chest, rearranging himself inside of you and then lifting his hips to match your rhythm. “Are you gonna be good for me?” You reply with moans.

Namjoon moves his hand so fast- he pumps his dick with a quicker speed, his mouth hanging agape as you moan sweetly above Jeongguk’s forehead, and then slowly look to the side at the camera, daring the audience, staring into the lens and by extension, right into Namjoon’s eyes. He wants to fall inside the screen, and rip you out of Jeongguk’s hands. He wants to be the one inside you. He also wants to be the one around Jeongguk, feeling his big dick stretch him out. Namjoon cries out- porn was so unfair.

“Bet you’d like that, you little slut,” Jeongguk grins, “wouldn’t you? Letting Daddy fill you up with his cum. Yeah? You want me to do that, put all my sperm inside you and make a baby?”

“Mmh, Jeongguk!”

“Look at you,” he continues, laughing slightly. “Look at how you take me. Your tiny little hole.” He scoffs with affection, “You’re a mess, baby. My little baby, taking my cock so well. I’m so proud of you.”

You cling to your boyfriend, your jaw slack as you groan and stare at the camera. Namjoon can feel his stomach twisting, his hands cupping at his balls for relief, imagining that one hand is you, and the other Jeongguk. He can feel his heart in his ears and his throat; Jeongguk buries himself deeper inside of you, gripping at your marble skin to drag you down and up onto his dick, the slapping skin no match for the moans pouring from your lips, and faintly, he can make out Jeongguk’s own moans, slightly high and breathy, indicating the end is near. Namjoon doesn’t know what to focus on.

Still watching the camera, you shake your head back and move one hand to Jeongguk’s throat, clenching it to hear him groan out with pleasure and pain beneath you, your face scrunching up as you slam yourself down onto his dick. It’s rough and wet with sounds that fill Namjoon’s ears, and Jeongguk’s hand comes down like a whip to smack your ass, a boob filling his face as you arch up with each smack, girlish moans escaping free. Namjoon can taste salt in his mouth, and blood from biting down on the inside of his cheek, and he almost screams out about how unfair life is because koopid is there and he is here, when you bow your head to Jeongguk and shiver.

“I wanna cum, Jeongguk,” you beg. “Please, baby.”

Jeongguk cocks his head with sudden kindness. “Okay, baby. I’ll let you cum. Cum for me, cum around my dick.”

Threefold sounds fill the remaining seconds; you cry out with relief and pleasure as you spill cum around Jeongguk’s dick, the white substance trickling down the running vein that pulses and Jeongguk stuffs his face in your neck, and Namjoon back home yells out with abused satisfaction, closing his eyes as his own relief spills out on his stomach and bedsheets, his fingers soaked with his own cum. He breathes in the fantasy of seeing his own cum pouring out of you, the way Jeongguk does once you’ve fucked yourself tired on top of him, and he lifts you up by your thighs to marvel as the sliding semen down your legs, clumped in your hole, dripping like a tap. Jeongguk’s dick vibrates between his legs and twitches at the sight. He doesn’t show the audience. They don’t deserve to see you. They don’t deserve to see what he’s done to you.

Jeongguk doesn’t even say goodbye; he lets the audience and his girlfriend catch their breath before he smiles down at you, adoringly, praises your hard work and shuffles himself towards the camera, where the sight of his shit-eating grin leaves Namjoon with a prickle of hot frustration that hurts when the video rolls to an end, with no flashy end credits or promotion. Just a black screen with his own idiot reflection staring back at him.

Namjoon needs more. His dick hurts and his head throbs, but he needs more- he physically needs to see more. His hands tremble as he clicks on koopid’s profile, observing the fifteen videos you have public. He doesn’t need to watch them all tonight, saving them for his lonely evenings, but he does click on “creampie in my girlfriends cute pussy”.

He knows it’s worth the overstimulation when he gets five minutes in and sees you squirt, unexpectedly, onto Jeongguk’s face and the bedsheets. Aside from the view and the surprised gasp that is ripped from your mouth, Namjoon hears Jeongguk’s throaty chuckle up close and personal, and he sees Jeongguk’s cocky smirk now that the boy has set the camera to the side, giving Namjoon a beautiful view of your cunt and the side of Jeongguk’s wet face.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself when Jeongguk manoeuvres himself back between your legs and thrusts, the sight of your cock-filled hole and the curve of Jeongguk’s toned ass filling his screen. Jeongguk cums noisily; he groans gruffly, sounding intimidating and the blood rushes to Namjoon’s cock and he cums unexpectedly, missing the grand finale of when Jeongguk pulls out after filling you up with his cum.

He grins to himself and moves the camera so everybody can see how pretty it looks; Namjoon stares, milking his own high, looking at how Jeongguk’s cum leaks out of you slowly. You’re filled with it, the dried mess staining your skin and your body rising with deep and heavy breaths. It’s pink and abused, your hole wide and clenching almost with each breath. Jeongguk’s hand comes into view, the other holding the camera shakily, and he pulls apart your lips to show the sight clearly. His fingertip curls around the substance and as you lift yourself up onto your elbows, Jeongguk switches for two fingers, lapping up the escaping cum and shoving it right in your mouth and on your tongue.

Namjoon cums again. It’s the third time he’s came this evening, and it’s the first time he’s ever added a channel to his favourites.

He’s not sure what it is about koopid that makes him feel so fucking good, but when Jeongguk heaves himself down next to you and flips the camera, showing the unfair gorgeousness of the pair of you fucked out next to each other, your hair slightly in Jeongguk’s mouth, Namjoon knows he wants more. He needs more. He doesn’t care if Sunmi calls him sad, but, Namjoon knows that there is nothing on Earth that can cure the want and need he has for koopid.

Jeongguk grins to the camera, looking at you against the sheets and Namjoon can see in his eyes the way he is so in love with you. You smile too, kissing his lips and curling up against his neck and the last thing Namjoon sees before his own dumb reflection again is Jeongguk smirking at the audience before leaving. Jeongguk knows what he has and how lucky he is. Namjoon isn’t sure how to feel when he realises that he’ll never have what you and Jeongguk have. He feels empty and pathetic with his cock out and a black screen looking at him.

He’s not sure who he’s jealous of. Jeongguk, for getting to stuff his fat cock into your hole and seeing you, hearing you, feeling you on a daily basis. Or you, for getting fucked relentlessly and lovingly by the best looking man he thinks he has ever seen. Maybe it’s both.

(It’s definitely both.)

[laylacooke]

Double Headed Cockasaurces Australian Nymph 2000 || Cordy & Layla

timing: Mid August parties: Cordy [to book an appearance message @kadavernagh] & @laylacooke summary: Layla wants to do something nice for Frankie, but it ends up backfiring big time. warning: Don’t read this at work. :-D

Okay, so Pandora’s Boxxx was probably the last place Layla needed to be. But Frankie would be home soon, or so she thought, and she wanted to surprise her with something fun. The question of what plagued her mind as she wandered up and down the aisles slowly. Seeing everything from toys to dvds, the teenager could feel her cheeks turning redder and redder. Were there some regrets going in? Yes, but she was already there, and she wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. No. She was determined. She was an adult. She could do this. It would be a nice treat for Frankie, to show her how much she loved her after everything that had happened within the past couple of months. The ginger haired girl just had to come up with an idea first.

Ugh, when would Annabel get back? Cordy leaned back against the window, kicking her legs up next to the register among the various enchanted sex toys and packets of belly button stickers. She puffed a breath of air out, blowing her long hair away from her face. This wasn’t a bad gig, but it was a slow day, and her fingers were practically sparking with magic that wanted to be used. She heard the bell ring and immediately lowered her legs and leaned forward. Aww, a little redhead. She seemed young. Lost, mayhaps. “Hey there, red! Mime E. Stripes is next door, if you’re looking for a ball pit instead of a ball gag. What can I do ya for? You have a name, cherry? How about fangs, fur, or wings?” Of course, Annabel was still gone. Her aura reading would really come in handy right about now.

The voice from behind the counter caught her attention causing Layla’s cheeks to turn as red as they could get. Of course, the comment about her age didn’t make her feel any better either. She had almost considered ignoring the woman, but she knew that would be rude, “It’s Layla. I was looking for something to surprise my girlfriend with.” She completely ignored the last question. She had made a bad habit of giving out too much information online, so the fact that someone was openly asking her if she was supernatural made her hesitant to respond. With her eyes staying away from the area the woman was in, the redhead continued to peruse the aisle she was in slowly. 

Cordy’s mouth ticked up at Layla’s obvious desire to look anywhere but behind the counter. My, she was a bashful one. “What’s wrong? First time in a sex shop?” Cordy called out. With a flick of her finger through the air, she unlatched the gate and walked out from behind the counter, intent on following the girl around. “What’s your gee-eff, then? Human? Oh, come on. You can’t ignore me forever. How else are you gonna pay for your flesh-flavored dental dams?” Cordy sidled over to Layla, smiling. “Lucky for you and your beau, you’re the only customer here right now, which means you have my full attention. So--” She looked down, noting what Layla was wearing. “Are those jorts? Are you that Layla?”

This was like a nightmare. What made her think it was even a good idea to visit a sex shop was beyond her. Her pale skin couldn’t get any redder, but damn was it trying. Is she- Is she coming over- When Layla heard the woman’s voice behind her, she nearly died. And what was worse was how she was grating on the teenager’s nerves. Finally stopping at the mention of her jorts, the redhead turned around, “First, I don’t know you…” She glanced down at the name tag, “Cordy.” What the hell kind of name was Cordy? “Second, I don’t think it’s any of your business what me or my girlfriend are. And lastly…” She crossed her arms and straightened herself up, “These are jorts, and if you’re referring to Jorts 101, I am, indeed, that Layla. Why? You gotta problem with that?”

Cordy hrmphed at the way Layla said her name. So touchy. It was just an honest question. How’d Annabel do this so seamlessly all the time? Customers never seemed to mind when she accosted them with personal questions. “People don’t come to the Boxxx unless their needs are… unique. Wouldn’t want you to bite your girlfriend’s head off and lay eggs inside of her neck, or whatever it is you do. But hey, maybe she’s into that. Is she a zombie? They often have death wishes.” Cordy grinned at Layla and followed her past the lingerie. She always hated those leprechaun-print thongs. Why would anyone wanna wear one of those things? “I knew it! You’re the jorts Layla. Yeah, yeah, I read your presentation, and you missed out on including some key jorts in there.” Cordy squeezed her way between Layla and the aisle’s exit. She pouted as she tried to measure Layla up again. “Are you some kinda jorts demon?”

Bite Frankie’s head off and what now? “What? Ew. Gross. And no. She’s not a zombie.” Layla moved forward trying to get away from Cordy. Pandora’s Boxxx had turned more into Pandora’s Chamber of Being Held Hostage All While Being Questioned About Her Sex Motives and... Jorts. “Key jorts? Seriously? I covered a majority of body types. What were you looking for? A section on Assless Jorts?” She continued to move towards the end of the aisle, until she noticed Cordy was blocking her. Letting out a low growl instinctually, she realized she had probably just given up what she was, but she wasn’t playing now, “No. Those don’t even exist.” Or did they? Layla couldn’t be quite sure with all the new creatures she was discovering in town; like the giant clam that almost tried to eat her or the squirrels that took Ulf’s fingertip.

“Well how was I supposed to know that?” Cordy asked with a roll of her eyes. “You aren’t spilling any details. It’s not like I’m asking anything personal.” Zombie, shmombie. Some people just got so uppity. “I’m just trying to do my job, cherry, and you’re not making it easy. But that’s okay, I like a challenge.” Though it sure was helpful when Annabel could just drop the answer on her lap the second someone walked in. Cordy wiggled her fingers, which were tingling with magic and energy. She had a couple tricks up her bell sleeves, too. “Assless jorts would’ve been nice, yeah. You have to cover all of your bases, except the ass. You’re also missing the pinstriped jorts, which are an emerging trend. Can’t believe you neglected them.” Cordy gave her head a small, somber shake. The growl snapped her attention back up. “Oh!” She squeaked. “You a werewolf? Or something a little less boring?”

“I didn’t exactly come in here to spill details. Not those details anyways, and can you move? You do realize it’s super rude to block a customer in an aisle with...what are those…” Layla’s gaze shifted from Cordy to what was sitting on a shelf to the left of her. Eyes growing wider, she could feel her cheeks growing red, “Is that...is that a two headed penis?” Her voice dropped a few octaves. What. The. Actual. Fuck? “Okay, nope. I came in here for something to surprise my girlfriend. Not to see the rare double headed cockasaurces of doom. Nope. Nooooope. Fuck this place.” She turned back to Cordy, and instead of asking her to move, pushed the woman out of the way with more force than she had anticipated. Damn werewolf strength. She had made a huge mistake and just wanted to leave. The jorts argument was the last thing on her mind at this very moment.

“What, you’ve never seen one of those before? Some Australian nymphs requested--” Cordy was cut off by Layla’s continued noping. Man, she really needed to chill for a second. The Boxxx wasn’t the place to be such a wet blanket. Cordy could practically feel Layla’s anger and frustration boiling toward the surface, and she realized too late that she was in its direct path. Layla gave her a violent push, and Cordy fell toward the floor, only catching herself at the last second by focusing the magic that’d been pulsing between her fingers. She propelled herself upward enough to catch her balance, her magic crackling now. “Did you just shove me?” She yelled, indignant. “I was just trying to lend a hand to you and your girl, but fine, if you’re gonna be so catty.” Now, there was an idea. Cordy smirked at the thought. It wouldn’t be easy, and it’d been a while since she’d pulled off something so hilarious, but sometimes people just needed a good ol’ hex to get their head on straight.

Cordy reached within herself, focusing on the annoyance balled in her gut, ma’s voice loud in her ears. Use your words. Ma had always worked with incantations when she hexed and cursed people, but Cordy found that distracting, preferring mediation over all that chanting and waxing poetic. She closed her eyes, picturing that Australian nymph dildo and exactly what she wanted with clarity. She focused on her annoyance, her rage, the satisfaction at revenge exacted. The magic surged out of her, flowing into the dildo like river rapids, and it flew off the shelf, smacking right into Layla’s snarling face.

Layla knew that when she saw the woman catch herself, with what could only be magic, she was fucked. Her eyes grew wide as she slowly started stepping backwards looking for an escape route, “Look, I didn’t mean for that to happen, okay? My anger...sometimes I can’t control myself. A-Are you okay?” The redhead continued to look around for something she could buy that would work as an apology. Nothing too expensive, like a nearby...Butt Plug With A Tail? Are Furries seriously a thing here? “Um, hey, you guys do realize that a good portion of the people living here already have tails, right?” Her laugh was uneasy and nervous. This woman was mad, and there was no telling what kind of power she held. Of course, before Layla could say anything else, she felt that power. The double headed cockasaurces Australian Nymph 2000, or whatever the fuck it was called, had smacked her square in the face with enough force to knock her to the floor.

Moaning, she slowly opened her eyes feeling a weird energy racing through her body. Her head was throbbing and as she rubbed her face, she felt a small amount of blood coming from her nose, “What did you do to me? Did you just break my nose with a flying dick?” She slowly sat upright feeling dizzy. Layla had never imagined in a million years, she’d be smacked in the face with a double headed penis, but here she was.

Climbing to her feet with the assistance of the shelf right next to her, Layla rubbed her head. She had already felt regret for the way she had acted, but also confusion from the whole situation, and without saying anything else to Cordy, found her way to the front door and left.

[chimchimsauce]

Seven (1)

Jungkook is infamous. And yet, YN ignores every word of caution, unable to resist him.

I've heard so many sagas. He brings the drama, six baby mamas . . .

Tag List:  @cadet-lea-05 @flowerychim @lecsah

Add yourself here!

Chapter One

"YN. Get your ass up,"

The girl in question ignores her disgruntled roommate, continuing to type away at the paper that's due next week. She has a good workflow going and won't be interrupted by Miran's antics.

"Are you listening to me?"

Miran's question is only answered by clicks from YN's keyboard. Not even a moment passes before a pillow crashes into YN's head.

"Hey!"

"That's what you get for ignoring me. Rude,"

YN pauses her work, sitting up and glaring at her roommate.

"What do you need?"

"You're going to the club with me,"

"I absolutely am not,"

"You absolutely are. Today is Lady's Night. Drinks are half off if you bring a friend,"

"Can't Wendy go with you?"

"She's sick,"

"Mary?"

"Out of town,"

"Maria?" YN is grasping for straws at this point.

"Hooking up with her new toy,"

"Look, Miran, I know we don't really get along all that great, but I'd really appreciate it if you understood that clubbing is not my thing. The music's too loud, people are too touchy, and I don't like dancing,"

"I'll owe you one. Please? This guy I'm trying to catch is going to be there tonight,"

Miran's usual blunt attitude softens a bit.

YN bites her lip.

"And I'll stop inviting people over without asking you first,"

Miran hits gold. Her roommate's constant flow of people in and out of their small apartment is YN's biggest pet peeve.

"How long do you want to be out?"

Miran punches the air in excitement.

"Just a few hours! It won't be all night, I promise,"

"Fine, "YN says, "But you better keep up your end of the deal,"

"Of course I will. Now come on, get dressed," Miran says, grabbing YN's hands and pulling her up, "Wear something sexy,"

YN looks entirely unamused.

"Do I look like I own a single 'sexy' thing?"

Miran opens her mouth but wisely shuts it before making a comment.

"I'll grab you something from my closet then. Wait here,"

Miran returns with some skimpy little thing that looks more like a somewhat long shirt than a dress.

“I’m not wearing that,”

“Oh, come on! It’s the longest dress I own,”

“You’re joking,”

“I’m not. Come on, put it on. We need to get going,” Miran says, tossing the fabric over to her and closing the door, “Don’t take forever,”

YN pouts but does as instructed, trying in vain to pull the hem lower to cover herself more. It doesn’t work, the girl’s bum nearly slipping out. She’s anything but comfortable, and the sight of her bed next to her is beyond tempting. But the promised absence of surprise visitors to their dorm has YN stepping out, glaring at Miran who claps excitedly.

“You look hot,” Miran says, circling her roommate and analyzing the way her dress fits.

“Whoopie,” YN says with all the enthusiasm of someone discovering their spare tire has gone flat.

Miran doesn’t acknowledge YN’s sass, tugging her into her own bedroom and covering her with a multitude of bracelets and big, heavy hoop earrings. She also sprays a zillion different products into YN’s hair, getting it to poof up in all the right places but still maintain some bounce. By the time she’s satisfied, YN looks more like a floozy than herself.

“They won’t be able to keep their eyes off of you, YN. You’re gonna get so many free drinks, ugh, I’m jealous,”

“I don’t drink,”

“Give them to me, then. I’ll drink enough for the both of us,”

YN frowns. It looks like she’ll end up being the DD. She hopes Miran isn’t a puker because if she so much as gags, YN’s gonna kick her drunk ass out of her car and leave her on the sidewalk, conscience be damned.

The two take YN’s car, a perfectly clean little honda, the most sensible car a girl can have. Miran obnoxiously turns the radio up so loudly YN can barely hear the directions to the club. She winces when Miran sings an incredibly shrieky high note, already feeling a headache coming on.

Of course, there’s no parking, so the girls have to walk two blocks to make it to the long line forming at the club entrance. The guy in front of them smells horribly of weed, causing YN’s nose to crumple up in disgust. She’s tempted to pull the collar of her dress up but she stops herself, knowing that she’d end up flashing the entire street.

And if she thought things couldn’t get any worse, some shiny Bently pulls up to the curb, tires skidding obnoxiously. YN doesn’t get a chance to see who the douchebag driver is, as some guy runs up to the car excitedly, binging a small crowd with him.

“I wonder who that is,” Miran says, standing on her tippy toes to try and get a better view.

It takes YN all of three seconds to decide that she doesn’t care. She shrugs off Miran’s comment, inching forward as more people are let in the pounding club.

Twenty minutes later, the bouncer lets them in after placing a red over twenty-one wristband on Miran’s wrist and a white under twenty-one band on YN’s, swinging open a large black door. The music’s volume triples instantly, some sleazy song thumping with bass. Miran pulls YN inside eagerly, heading straight to the bar. She leans over the countertop, her breasts nearly spilling out as she flirts with the bartender.

“Two shots of tequila, please,” she says, laughing lightly as the man blushes darkly and nearly drops one of the small glasses.

For a moment, YN feels jealous. Miran is hands down the most confident person YN has ever met. No matter what she’s doing or where she is, Miran holds herself with an air of power and confidence that YN can only dream about. While Miran always seeks the limelight, YN is perfectly comfortable in the shadows where no one can see her, where no one pays her any attention.

When the bartender serves the drink, Miran tosses the both of them back with a speed that’s nearly inhuman, grinning as she slams them back down on the wooden countertop.

“Dance with me,” Miran shouts over the music, attempting to pull YN onto the packed dance floor.

“I’m good!” YN shouts back, resisting.

Miran shrugs, letting go of YN’s hand and getting pulled into the writing mass. Strangers brush pass her, their sweat gliding against YN’s skin and causing her to shiver in disgust. Fighting through the blob of people, YN makes it to the corner of the club, sitting awkwardly on a bench as a couple makes out a foot away from her. The noises they make cause YN great discomfort but she tries to drown it out by focusing on her phone.

It’s way too loud for her to try and watch a drama, so YN pulls up Amazon, buying a book that sounds interesting and settling in as best she can. Thankfully, the story hooks her from the first page and YN forgets where she is entirely, well, until some drunken idiot trips and spills liquor all over her.

YN shrieks in surprise as the girl hiccups out an apology before stumbling away, not even trying to help clean YN off. The girl wants to scream from frustration, already tired of the night even though it’s only ten o’ clock.

She fights her way through the crowd again, locating the bathroom after some difficulty. She pushes the women’s door open, cringing as some girl vomits in the stall. The smell is horrendous, YN holding her breath with puffed cheeks as she rushes over to the sink, wetting a paper towel to try and cleanse herself.

After she gets as much of the drink out as he can, she breathes in shallowly, standing under an electric hand dryer until the wet spot is gone. For a moment, YN contemplates staying in the bathroom but the girl starts vomiting again, urging her to head back out into the club.

But just as she walks out, someone smacks her with the men’s bathroom door, sending her tumbling down to the sticky floor.

“Oh for fuck's sake!” she screams, finally at her wit's end.

All she wants to do is go home and take a shower and pretend this night never happened.

“I am so sorry,”

At the sound of a voice, YN looks up, momentarily forgetting her anger as the most handsome man she’s ever seen leans over her, offering up his hand.

He’s gorgeous. His hair falls into his eyes, nearly masking his chocolate brown eyes. His jawline is so sharp YN wonders briefly if anyone’s ever knicked themselves on it.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

YN’s eyes flicker down to his lips, noticing how soft they look.

“I - yeah,” YN says, finally shaking herself out of shock enough to grab his hand.

He smiles then, revealing a dimple in his left cheek and pulls her up. The sight of it causes YN’s heart to skip a beat.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, tilting his head cutely.

Even his voice is attractive, deep in the way that’s just right, not too low or high.

YN nods like a bobblehead, dying inside from how embarrassing she’s being.

“Why don’t I buy you a drink to make up for it?” he asks.

“I - uh, I don’t drink. And I’m underage so . . .”

She regrets the words as soon as she’s spoken them, noticing how lame they make her seem.

“Ah, okay,” he says, still not letting go of her hand, “What’s your name?”

“YN,” she says instantly, ignoring the voice in her head that says giving her name out to a stranger - no matter how attractive he is - is a terrible idea.

“That’s pretty,”

“Thanks,” YN says, her internal systems fried.

Two seconds near this man and she’s reduced to one-word answers.

“Want to sit in my booth with me? You still look a little out of it,”

“Okay,” YN says, letting the handsome stranger lead her upstairs to VIP area, watching as he nods to the bouncer briefly.

This section of the club is a lot quieter, though the music can still be heard. It’s a much-needed break. YN brushes her hair out of her face, looking at the stranger who looks very relaxed in the booth, his elbows on the table and his hands crossed, his head resting on them as he looks YN over thoroughly.

“Your friend dragged you here?” he asks suddenly.

“How’d you know?”

“You don’t look very comfortable,”

“I’m not,” YN admits honestly, “I’m only here because my roommate wanted half-priced drinks,”

Jungkook laughs then, a sound YN finds herself feeling proud to have caused.

“I like you,” he says suddenly, YN’s cheeks coloring, “Most people would have gotten defensive,”

YN shrugs.

“It’s the truth. I’d much rather be at home. Even cleaning is better than this,”

“What do you like to do then, YN?” the stranger asks, genuinely curious.

And thus conversation begins.

Something about her has caught his attention. She’s pretty, definitely, but so are a lot of girls here. He can tell that his presence is affecting her by the way she steals peeks at him when she thinks he isn’t looking instead of blatantly giving him the bedroom eyes as most girls do. It’s refreshing, to say the least.

And as the hours pass, YN finds out that she and the man across from her actually have a lot in common from the types of movies they enjoy to their field of study.

“You failed American history?!” YN asks, laughing at how embarrassed he looks, “That’s such an easy class!”

“I’ve always been bad at History. I can never remember what happened in the past. But to be honest, I don’t get why it’s such a big deal. The past is the past. What matters now is the present,”

“I’d have to disagree with you there,” YN says, drinking her water a waiter (she didn’t even know clubs had waiters) had brought her a while ago, “History is important. You have to learn from the mistakes of the past to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen in the present,”

The man is silent for a moment, some indescribable look on his face.

“Are there any subjects you’ve failed,” he asks, changing the subject.

It’s obvious that YN hit a sore spot so she takes the bait.

“No, never. Calculus was incredibly difficult though,”

“I aced Calc,” the says, smirking.

“No way,”

He nods, placing his glass flute to his lips, letting the red liquid slide through his lips in a way that causes YN’s breath to catch and her to shift on the seat.

“Something about math just clicks. There are rules to follow and I respect that, you know? There’s an order to things,”

“I take it you didn’t take many liberal arts classes then, huh?”

“You’d be correct,”

“I love the liberal arts. That’s why I’m going for a business major. I want to be able to have the tools to help people, start a nonprofit,”

“Hate to break it to you, sweetheart,” he says, face suddenly serious, “But good intentions don’t get you very far in life,”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” YN says, “And you probably won’t be the last. But it just makes me want to do it more,”

The fire in her eyes causes Jungkook to grin, leaning over the table.

“You’re incredibly fascinating, YN,” he says.

Before YN can respond, her phone rings, ruining the atmosphere.

“Sorry,” YN says, picking it up, “Hello?”

“YNNNNNNNNNN,” Miran says from over the phone, obviously drunk out of her mind, “I don - don’t feel so gud. I sleepy,” Miran giggles, “Some nice man is gonna take me home, okie,”

“No!” YN shouts, standing up quickly and rushing over to the balcony, peering over and spotting Miran’s head in the crowd, “I’m coming to get you, okay. Don’t go anywhere,”

YN smiles apoligetically at the handsome stranger.

“I’ve gotta go before my roommate gets kidnapped,”

Jungkook nods.

“Before you leave,” he begins, reaching into his inner breast pocket, pulling out a simple black card with white writing.

YN takes the card without looking at it, making her way downstairs to get Miran.

Thankfully Miran doesn’t puke on the way home but passes out instead. Leaving YN alone to her thoughts

It might be ridiculous, but YN felt a real connection to the man at the club. Everything he did, the way he moved, the way his voice floated through her ears, it all replays in YN’s head.

Once she rouses drunk Miran enough to get her into bed, YN stands in the shower, letting the water stream across her back, unaware of the man across town doing the same thing, both of their thoughts on the other.

[redwoodwrites]

Being There

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11890179

Summary:  Stan and Ford stop for a drink while traveling the sea. Unfortunately, things do not go as planned.

A/N:  Hello! This is actually my first fanfiction ever, and of course I had to do it on two of my favorite characters. I hope you enjoy it!

“We're gonna get so drunk!” Stan shouted, fist-pumping the air.

“At least we won't have to drive home,” Ford said with a smile, stepping out of the boat. They'd been sailing for weeks, and Stan had made him promise they'd stop at the first port they came to – which just so happened to be lined with grungy-looking bars. Ford had never been indulgent of alcohol. The closest he'd come was the (probably spiked) punch at their high school prom. Stan hadn't done much drinking, either, but his whole face had lit up like a menorah as soon as he saw the bars. How could Ford turn him down?

Stan threw an arm around his shoulders. “This is gonna be great! We're gonna get drunker than a couple of college frat boys!”

“'Drunker'?”

“Yo, Ford, you know what happens to people who correct grammar...”

Ford winced, and Stanley grinned.

“THEY HAVE TO PAY THE TAB! WOOHOO!”

Stan led them straight to the first bar. It looked like Stan's kind of place: dark, dirty, with a sign out front that said Fish: $20.00. Beer: Almost free.

The bar was small. There was barely room for the four tables inside; to make up for it, they had stools instead of chairs. There were a couple of slope-shouldered fishermen in the corner, but otherwise they had the place to themselves.

Ford wrinkled his nose. The place smelled decidedly rank.

“Stan, maybe we should patronize a diff-”

“YO BAR GUY!” Stan yelled. “What's cheap and filled with alcohol?”

The bartender turned and squinted at Stan with rheumy eyes. “A vodka with extra rocks,” he said.

“Nope – THIS guy!” Stan laughed, pointing to himself. “Or I will be as soon as I get that vodka!”

“I'll have the same,” Ford added. “And a plate of fish, please.” He had, after all, done his reading. A full stomach slowed the intake of alcohol. He'd indulge his brother, but it always paid to keep one's wits about.

They sat at a table by the window. Ford set his hand on it and instantly regretted it; the table was sticky, and he pulled his fingers away with a slight sucking noise. He sincerely hoped his chair wouldn't do the same when he finally stood up.

“Aw, man, you ever see a place this dirty?” Stan said loudly.

“Stan!”

“And the lighting! Those bulbs are dimmer than a Mystery Shack tourist! I bet this guy pays squat for maintenance!”

Somehow while he was talking, the lightbulb in the lamp above their table mysteriously vanished. (Not that it was any dimmer or brighter than before; most of the light came from the sunshine glancing through the window.) Still, he was pretty sure he saw the bartender watching through slitted eyes.

Ford grinned, leaned over and plucked the bulb from his brother's sleeve. “Let's not steal more than we want to pay for. We still have to buy more supplies and rations tomorrow.”

“Aw, don't be such a spoilsport, Sixer!”

The bartender arrived before Ford could answer. He hastily replaced the bulb as the man slammed down their orders and stalked back to the counter, muttering about the quality of his clientele. Not that Ford could blame them – when Ford glanced down at the table, his fork had disappeared.

“Stan!”

His brother grinned, making no attempt to pretend innocence, and waved the fork under his brother's nose. “Missing something, Sixer?”

“Give me that,” Ford laughed, making a grab for it. Stan snatched it back and dangled it again, teasing him. “You're not even drunk yet!” Ford protested, making another grab. Stan kept it just out of reach and Ford leaned over to get it. Stan was laughing so hard he could barely keep a grip on it anymore, and Ford grabbed it and then pulled Stan's beanie and pulled it over his face for good measure.

“And let that be a lesson to you!” Ford joked. Stan roared with laughter. Ford had seldom seen him look so happy, and he hadn't even gotten drunk yet. He glanced at his cup, wondering what they'd be like when they became...inebriated. Well, he planned to keep from getting too drunk, and with that thought, he cut the fish with his fork and took a bite.

Fire!

Ford had never expected the fish to be spicy but it was instant, the ghost pepper sending pain like hot knives under his tongue, cutting the roof of his mouth, burning his eyes. He gagged and spat the fish into his hand.

“Whoa, Ford!” Stan started pounding on his back.

Ford's eyes dripped tears, but the pain wasn't alleviated in the slightest. In desperation, Ford grabbed the vodka and swallowed, holding a block of ice on his tongue. The fiery oil felt like it was searing the very jelly of his eyes. He covered his face with his hands, as if he could rub out the agony. It burned beyond belief, there was a roaring in his ears, his tongue felt swollen and his eye was stinging, it was burning, it was dripping blood –

He jerked back from the table and scrambled for the door, half-blind with tears and panic. Stan and the bartender were yelling and then there was a pressure on his arm and the bright light of the sunlight suddenly hit his face. The added pain made his bile rise and he gagged.

“Ford, Ford, just talk to me,” Stan was saying.

“My eyes are burning,” Ford gasped.

“That bad? Hang on, I got this –”

Stan half-dragged him towards a blurry building farther down the street. Ford grabbed his brother's shoulder, gripping it tightly in one hand while he scrubbed brutally at his eyes with the other. He wanted to claw them out, he wanted to end the burning, they're bleeding my eyes are bleeding he caught me again I can't fall asleep get out of my head get it out get it out –

Stan shoved something into his hands, but they shook too badly to hold it, and Stan guided it to his mouth. Some kind of bottle. Ford chugged whatever was in it until it was empty, and Stan handed him another one. He couldn't even taste it, but it was thicker than water, like a smoothie or a syrup. He drank the next bottle, and the next, and the next.

It wasn't until the sixth one that the agony began to ebb. He noticed they were sitting down, leaning against something hard that poked at his back. He tried to look around, but his eyes were still watering too badly.

“Tilt your head up a minute,” Stan said, and gently poured water onto his face, soothing his eyes. Ford hoped fleetingly that Stan used bottled water, but it was still so painful he couldn't hold onto the thought.

“It's okay, Ford...I know it hurts, but you'll be alright,” Stan murmured, his gravelly voice soft.

Ford realized that he was crying.  His shoulders were shaking less with pain than with fear. At least the continued production of tears would help wash out the spice, he thought distantly. It was as if his mind had divided into two: one half paralyzed with fear, the other a cold observer. He couldn't seem to stop crying. Stan handed him another drink, and another, and another. He drank them all and still the tears came. He hadn't expected to recall his experiences with Bill quite so strongly. He tried to catch his breath.

“That bartender can forget a tip,” Stan joked.

Ford managed a smile, more for Stan than anything else. He tried to talk but his voice cracked with a sob. He sank forward, covering his eyes with one hand.

“C'mon, Ford. This isn't just about the fish, is it?” Stan asked. Ford shook his head, still hiding his face.

He'd never gotten around to telling Stanley about the...events that happened before Stanley's arrival in Gravity Falls. It had just never come up. And now that it was finally relevant, Ford couldn't bring himself to find the words. Shock and shame burned in his throat.

There was a long pause.

“Alright,” Stan said finally. “Just...just tell me what you need.”

Ford held up the empty bottle with his free hand. Stan replaced it with a full one and Ford drank it down. When that was gone there was a new one in his hand before he could ask. Stan stayed right next to him, one arm resting on Ford's back, handing him drinks whenever he needed them.

After a long time, Ford felt the stinging spice begin to ebb. His eyes watered, but no longer dripped tears, and he could almost feel his tongue again. He took several deep breaths, wiped at his eyes, and straightened up.

It was some kind of convenience store. They were sitting on the floor in front of the soft drink section, over a dozen empty bottles littered in the aisle around them. The wrappers indicated he'd been drinking some kind of fruit smoothie. Looking left, Ford could see a part of the window at the front of the store; it was just down the street from where they'd started.

“Well,” Ford rasped, “so much for getting drunk.”

Stan laughed, playfully slapping his shoulder. “I dunno, I think one of us sure got a lot to drink!”

Ford chuckled a little. Based on the vacant spot in the shelf, they'd pretty much cleaned out the smoothies.

Stan was ready to put the empty bottles back and hide them behind the few remaining ones, but Ford insisted on paying. He didn't want to do anything to cause trouble, especially in a foreign country, or make them wanted men. He'd had enough of that sort of life on the other side of the portal.

The mood for drinking was thoroughly ruined, so they bought their supplies and headed back for the boat inside an hour. They decided to stay docked until tomorrow, in case they wanted to actually get drunk, but until then Ford had plenty of work to keep him occupied – several samples to check and compare against yesterday's observations, checking Dipper's homework on the spread and extinction of klatoblepones in Europe, assigning him work on the hypothetical introduction of supernatural species via airplanes, responding to the comments left by his scientific colleagues on his most recent essay eliminating narwhal as a relative of the unicorn...

Stan kept him company, playing paddleball, sleeping at the table and doing general puttering things. Ford wasn't really paying attention, but he was deeply grateful for the company. He knew he had to give Stanley attention tomorrow, maybe actually get to the 'drinking' part of the bar experience, but for now he needed the distraction of his work. He really didn't want to think about...

It didn't matter. He had work to do.

 It was well past 2 AM when Stan woke up, hunched awkwardly over the kitchen table. He blinked groggily, wiped the drool from his lip and groaned as he sat up straight. Being old was a real pain in the...

“Ford?” Stan said. Last thing Stan remembered, his brother was sitting across from him, clicking away on the computer. The laptop was exactly where he'd left it, but Ford was nowhere in sight.

Stan got to his feet, gritting his teeth as his joints popped and ached. This far north, the cold was not easy on his arthritis. He made a mental note to get some painkillers at the drugstore before they left. Make that two bottles, since Ford might need them, too.

He poked his head into the bunk room, but both beds were empty.

Great. The nerd was probably freezing his butt off on deck. Why didn't he just stay down below? Stan wouldn't care if Ford was still shaken up over what happened earlier.

Not that Stan really knew what happened in the first place. It obviously wasn't about some bad fish.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened, either. Once, they'd docked at a little town in Canada to get some supplies, and decided to check out the local tourist trap just for fun. Ford had taken one look at a little glass prism and practically bolted out of the shop. Or the nightmares – last week Stan had woken up to screaming in an alien language. He'd shaken Ford awake, but his brother wouldn't tell him what the dream had been about. It was like some part of him still thought he had to do the “lone wolf hero” thing.

It was driving Stanley crazy. Didn't his brother know how much Stan loved him by now? He wouldn't care if Ford was all shaken up. Heck, he wouldn't care if Ford cried on his shoulder like Dipper after a fairy bit him. Ford was his brother. They were supposed to stick together, to trust each other. Not that either one of them were good at the whole “sharing feelings” crap, but still...

“Stupid genius,” he muttered. Grabbing a jacket and a blanket from his bed, Stan headed out the hatch and onto the deck.

Ford was leaning against the rail, staring at the lightening sky. His back was to Stan, but his shoulders looked stiff and hunched.

“How long you been out here, Sixer?”

“Not – not long.”

He came up beside his brother and raised an eyebrow. “Ford, you got frost on your face.”

Ford scrubbed at his cheeks.

Stan stood next to him for a while, looking over the ocean. It felt good to be beside his brother, but he hated watching Sixer hurting. Whatever that spicy fish had triggered for him, it wasn't anything good.

This is driving me crazy! Why doesn't he ever just tell me what's wrong?

“Oh yeah – I brought a blanket,” Stan remembered suddenly, holding it up. It was one of Mabel's knitting creations, soft as kitten breath and pink as an embarrassed flamingo. “Let's go siddown and cover up, huh?”

They settled themselves on the bench nailed to the outside wall of the cabin. Stan spread the blanket over their legs and sat back. He was literally biting his tongue, trying to keep from bugging Ford. If he's not ready to talk then shut yer yap, he thought like a chant. Shut yer yap, shut yer yap, shut yer yap...

This was just killing him.

He thought of a question that felt safe to ask. “Are you...ok now?”

Ford sighed. “Yes.”

“Have you even slept? You look like you could really use the rest.”

Ford leaned back with a sigh.

Stan made himself let it go. “Hey, remember when we shared a bed at Aunt Sheila's as kids?” he said. “We always thought it was so awkward because she made us sleep in the living room...so we stayed up and built pillow fort mazes for hours.”

Ford smiled a little. “I do. Complete with booby traps. Remember the nacho chips?”

“Oh, man!” Stan laughed. “By the time we finally found 'em they'd gone way past green and hit purple mold!”

“Exactly the same color as her drapes,” Ford said.

“I guess the one good thing – after Dad chewed us out – was that we never had to go back after that. I hated being away from the Stan O' War.”

Ford didn't say anything for a moment. Then, to Stan's surprise, Ford leaned against him a little. He was sort of hunching, like he didn't quite know how to do it.

“Hey, Sixer?”

“It brought back memories of being possessed by Bill,” Ford said bluntly. “I know you've been trying not to ask. I'd rather...I'd rather not go into detail. But I wanted to tell you...I...appreciate your being there, and not pushing me for information. The smoothies were a great idea.”

The way Ford's head was angled, Stan couldn't see his face. He just stared at his hair for a minute. Appreciate? Did he really just say that? Was that nerd-talk for 'Thank you'?

“Well...sure, Sixer,” he said. “Anytime.”

“And I am sorry I ruined our drinks.”

“Come on. You see the state of that dump? Guy probably spits in a glass and calls it vodka.” Stan waved a hand. “There's a dozen other bars on the street. If you're up for it later, we can always grab a gin or something somewhere else.”

He wrapped an arm around his brother. In a few minutes, Ford started to nod, and then his head dropped softly onto Stan's shoulder. Stan leaned into him a little, balancing them. This could work, he thought. Ford liked that Stan had helped him. Ford trusted Stan to help him. Even if Ford wasn't ready to tell him everything, Stan could work with this. Just being there for his brother. It's what he'd wanted to do the whole time, anyway.

Stan smiled, listening to his brother's light snoring, and watched the sun rise.

[samrosemodblog]

Looking back at my art from the 2010s. I went through and picked 1 piece I drew/wrote from each year that I felt either showed off my best art, my most iconic art, my best improvement, or was simply a personal favorite of mine.

There were a lot of possible choices and it was kind of difficult to narrow it down to 1 per year, since each piece tends to encapsulate so much more than just a single moment per year. Especially with stuff like Motherly Scootaloo or Aria’s Archives encapsulating so much history in a single picture. But under the Read More are my choices at the end of the decade:

     1.) My Old Drawn Blog # 53

Man, the years before MLP existed were really weird for me. I knew I liked drawing and telling stories, but I had no consistent direction on what I wanted to do with my art. I was still jumping between different comics and ideas, and in 2010 I was going through some of the worst depression I’d ever felt in my entire life. I hadn’t even had the experience of being kicked out of the first place I tried to move out of home to yet. It was wild.

As for the ‘joke’ that seems ‘so obvious’ in this post, I had a running gag back then of the face the Flower makes, known as the ‘screaming window’ face. I drew it whenever I needed to draw something screaming in pain or fear for maximum comedic effect. Maybe I’ll bring it back some day lol

     2.) Silent Ponyville

I couldn’t NOT put Silent Ponyville on this list. I was gonna have both 1 and 2 as different spots, but I wrote them both in the same year. That seems insane to me now?? Like WOW, I just WROTE those fics and then they became fandom-wide phenomenons. To the point where even in 2019 I’m still getting people drawing fanart of it, or people telling me “Yeah, I got into Fanfiction because I read Silent Ponyville”.

I don’t know if I’ll ever make a creative piece as universally known in a fandom as Silent Ponyville again, but I sure would love to make an original piece of art that is as beloved as Silent Ponyville one day, if not more so. It’s a testament to the fact that if I put my mind to it, I can create a really amazing horror experience, and I know I do plan to do so again some day.

     3.) Pirate Dash x Dead Rainbow Dash

Who doesn’t love shipping wars that get large numbers of people involved? This is probably the second most involved in the ‘community’ I got, though it was certainly the better experience of the two. And it was all just for silly fun at the end of the day.

And funnily enough I never ACTUALLY shipped these two, I just thought the reactions from the creators seeing them be shipped was hilarious, so it just kind of grew from there. It was all fun and games at the end of the day, and made for a good memory, and a pretty dang ambitiously drawn pic for the time!

     4.) If Twilight Wasn’t a Princess

2013 was surprisingly sparse as far as ambitious projects or art pieces go. I was in full swing with Motherly Scootaloo, and nothing really ‘amazing’ happened in 2013 for the blog. Which was surprising. But Season 4 of MLP DID happen! And it started with the Princesses going missing, and authority over Equestria being transferred to Twilight as the next closest Princess around. And with Cadance ruling the Crystal Empire, I thought, who did that leave to rule if Twilight HADN’T been able to temporarily take the role?

And judging by the length of the comments section on DA, a lot of people found the idea hilarious as well lol. Blue Blood NEVER showed up again for the entire run of the show, and it’s a shame because there was a lot of hilarious joke potential they could’ve done with him. But ya know, the show is what it is is, and this joke still makes me laugh.

     5.) My Time

My first original music video, with a song I had commissioned and everything! While it wasn’t my first video involving music and MLP, it was the first time everything was mine in one way or another. I wish I could write music, but the ambitiously talented AllLevelsAtOnce and Queen Mickey the Sass Master made this project well worth the time and effort put into making it!

And of course, it encapsulates the kind of futures I wish the CMC had acquired, with Sweetie Belle finally achieving her foreshadowed talent of singing. Apple Bloom built the stage, and Scootaloo likely would’ve ended up the choreographer if not for her baby. Sadly we shall only ever have fanon for that.

     6.) Demonloo

Love or hate the wedding arc of Motherly Scootaloo, this will always be one of, if not my top, favorite panel from the entire arc. Scootaloo looks just so appropriately menacing, and the effects placed on her are glorious. And then of course, I love the little twist of “That’s not just an audience visual effect, she actually looked that way in the comic” rofl

Motherly Scootaloo was a trip that got weird with my inclusion of magic and magical beings from the show, so much so to the point that if I were to ever remake the whole thing one day, a LOT of that would be toned down. Probably to the point Chronus wouldn’t exist. But hey, things are the way they are, but I will forever love the art of this arc.

     7.) A Motherly Scootaloo Christmas

If there ever was a picture that basically summarized the entirety of Motherly Scootaloo, it was this picture. Pretty much ever major character of the stories over the years was in the picture (minus Starlight) and showing their relations to everyone pretty much. I remember this picture basically killing me when I was drawing it, but was really proud at the time of how it came out. Of course, I could see how to improve it now, but I’m not gonna lol

It’s still crazy to me how many years Motherly went on for, and how much time and effort was put into it. But I’m still glad I did all of it over those years. It taught me so much about art, and about myself, and in the end, taught me the skills I needed to make art a true career for myself. And I’ll always love it for that. And introducing me to the best friends I’ve ever had, of course.

     8.) Twilight-Midnight is PISSED

Look. I recognize the Aero crossover had some convoluted issues with it, but god DAMN if I didn’t enjoy drawing that fight scene! I GENUINELY loved every panel of it! I can only hope that in the future the fight scenes I draw will be just as fun to draw as these were. And as visually impressive!

That’s ultimately why this won my pic over say, the time-glitch arc with her Mom. The explosions, the action lines, the visual foreshortening, I’ve never seen such visual improvements in a single update from me quite like I have these entire scenes. When I push myself to be amazing, I can pull off some fantastic art, and I need to do it more!

     9.) A StarTrix Christmas

2018 had a LOT of really good choices. Like. Too many choices. So many art pieces I was super proud of, so many pieces that showed growth as an artist, was a personal favorite, that people loved... So in the end, I went with the piece from the end of the year that is still a piece I hold up as truly a cultivation of how much effort I can put in to a picture.

Also it’s Christmas related. I LOVE Christmas. Never enough Christmas.

And as much as I hate FriendLight Glimmer, I still ADORE StarTrix content. It’s the good food for me, one of the rare things that the later era of G4 got right for me. And since I can make them be however I want in fanon, making them a GOOD loving couple was top priority for me, and I just adore them together. I truly do. And this picture is beautiful because of the love I put into it.

     10.) Fate of the Lost Princess

I couldn’t NOT put Fate of the Lost Princess on this list. It’s too important to me, means too much to me, and shows my growth as an artist the most. And of the pages of Fate of the Lost Princess I have done so far, the piece of Tina and Noah on a bus stands out the most for me because, I ACTUALLY managed to make it look and feel like they were on a bus! I was so worried about this page and I spent so long working on making it look right, and in the end, I succeeded in a way I never thought I could!

It feels good to end the decade on my original webcomic, showing just how much I’ve grown as an artist. Going from a successful fanartist, to a successful original artist, that still does fanart on the side, but I’ve grown into my own person now.

I’ve lost track of how many times I tried to start an original comic, only to stop working on it and let it fade into obscurity. Fate of the Lost Princess is the most effort and work I’ve put into an original comic before, and I’m so proud of myself for not only getting as far as I have, but proud of how much effort I plan to put into it in the future, and how much effort I’ll put into the comics beyond Fate of the Lost Princess.

It represents everything that is me from the last 10 years, and I hope it’ll be the fantastic start of the 2010s I want it to be. And I couldn’t have picked something to be more proud of to wrap this decade up with.