#the inescapable march

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Dude what if you drew more Barnaby in suspenders art, that would be kinda bonkers. (You don't have to)

it would be absolutely insane you're so right. you know what would be crazier

if it was Laughingstock

[brother-emperors]

same energy

Crassus, The First Tycoon, Peter Stothard / Crassus, Plutarch (trans. Warner) / Cic. ad Brut. 1.16 / The Romans in their Decadence, Thomas Couture

[fightwing]

it's my birthday!! instead of a cake i would like an apology from dc with tears

[sibmakesart]

Have you heard this song?

https://youtu.be/NrfikKxF4Ps?si=bE4tFQ7Hko-8vN93

i have now :D

i felt that lol, esp the clip :')

[xiathiau-myshif]

NO NO NONONO NO PLEASE NO,,,

FUCJ IM GETTINC FUCJIGN CHRISTMAS TIKTOKS

PLEAE NONONO I CANT HANDLE IT

[hunybody]

growing up is truly so crazy. it's like... i went to school with this kid who is now a pro sports player. we were in the same first grade class. we learned how to read together. i remember his best friend from middle school and the girl he was half in love with in eighth grade. i rooted for them because she had beautiful green eyes and he was nice for a 14 year old boy. i was sad for him when she moved away. we used to stand in the school burger line together four days a week because we were both picky eaters who needed protein. i haven't spoken to him since we were 15 but i still follow his brother on instagram because he was a cool senior when we were freshmen. and now i'm buying his jersey online and i'm rooting for him but i'm also rooting for that 6 year old i pushed down a hill at recess. because we were kids together

[poorlittlevampire]

black swan is extra sad to me bc she's voiced by ARRYN ZECH... MY FUCKING MOST GODDAMNED BELOVED.....

[freakinator]

cant believe theyre also doing the preservation plot here too lol

[loveinhawkins]

There’s an inevitability that comes with going to school in a small town like Hawkins, Eddie thinks: where you know things without even trying—things you don’t even necessarily care about, but whispers travel quickly when there’s barely any space. Like how David C once chipped his tooth during band practice, or that the police were called to Stephanie’s house party in Loch Nora.

There are other things Eddie quietly comes to know himself, no gossip required, where he just knows someone’s jacket on sight, or that Debbie Lyons is missing when the fire alarm goes off, and teachers are not so subtly panicking because there could actually be a fire this time, yes, sir, I’m sure, she’s definitely not here, you tried the bathrooms down near the—?

And then there’s…

He tells himself it doesn’t mean anything, that knowing is just an inescapable part of Hawkins High.

That’s why, when tasked with handing out essay marks, Eddie knows Steve Harrington’s handwriting with barely a glance, the way he sometimes curls the tail of his ‘y’s. That he threw up during passing period in the winter of ‘83, his face stark white. That little flick of the finger he does whenever he’s letting someone walk in front of his car.

Steve graduates, but the knowledge doesn’t fade away—no matter how much Eddie lies to himself.

And then comes March of ‘86, and Eddie’s surrounded by so many new things, all learnt up close: the furrow of Steve’s brow when he’s concentrating, the shape of his laughter, his unassuming bravery. His kindness.

Here’s the real inevitability; Eddie feels it some place deep within him, like when Wayne picked him up early from his middle school Snow Ball, and Eddie choked out, face pressed to his knees, what if I don’t like girls?

He sighs to himself, swaying into Steve’s space in The Upside Down, and there’s another new discovery: what Steve’s touch feels like, the warm press of his arm against Eddie’s chest.

Oh, it was always going to be this, wasn’t it? he thinks. It was always going to be you.

[heyimadison]

march 2024 : madison’s recs

march seemed like such a long month for me yet i feel like i did not achieve my tumble grind i promised you guys last month 😭 april will be my month for real! thank you again to all of these beautiful authors!! i kiss the ground you all walk on🙏

acotar

— azriel

simple needs @surielstea

shattered @azrielwingspan

when you need distraction to survive @mrs-azriel

in my eyes @prythianpages

another love @utterlyotterlyx

baby, mine @thisblogisaboutabook

ends of the earth @parkerslatte

a healers touch @bat-boys

shadows of the heart @highladyandromeda

your name on my body @imaginesmai

— eris vanserra

precious secret @writeroutoftime

pjo

— clarisse la rue

the fall of rome @ampitrit3

inescapable @ampitrit3

happy wife happy life @m0nsterqzzz

you belong with me @queer-little-demigod

— luke castellan

cowboy like me @sycamoregirlsworld

the wizarding world

— theodore nott

i miss you, i’m sorry @angelfic

don’t leave me…please @angelfic

til it’s gone @obsessedwithceleste

tgm

— bradley bradshaw

i will follow you into the dark @kyber-crystal

marvel

— frank castle

a house in nebraska 2 @frankcastlescumslut

divider credit @cafekitsune 💖

[shotmrmiller]

y'all know davy jones who can only step on land once every decade?

right, make that Simon, but he's something else.

He shows up hours before someone's passing. An inky nondescript shadow that blends into the background, unnoticed by most. But to those whose final specks of sand trickle through their hourglass?

They see him.

An entity condemned to a lifetime of servitude. A wretched, pitiful existence. Something that saps the life out of everything it touches. Something that can't feel the warm rays of the sun seep into his skin, can't smell petrichor in the dewy morning, when the world begins to wake.

He lives yet he doesn't. An eternity of suffering, of wishing he never begged for a way out of the braided strands of hemp that had tightened around his neck for his crimes so long ago.

His freedom forfeit the moment he pleaded for it.

With a lantern that glows an eerie green, he leads deceased souls to their final destination, even the ones who resist, who cling futilely to life, to what is no longer theirs.

Some might call him death, others Hermes. The only name he's ever cared for is his own, the one that his mother had given him back when men still sailed the seas in search of treasure, when men and women alike were hung at the gallows.

But now he is a nameless servant of the natural order that guides them all.

However, he was also given a boon. One single day, out of every ten years, the tight collar around his neck comes off, and he turns human.

A man of flesh and blood.

His lungs fill with the crisp, biting air that he never feels. Cheeks sting from the cold. Fingertips numb without gloves.

For one blessed night, the heart in his chest beats. For one blessed night, his body is warm, flush with life.

And it's been this way for as long as he can remember. He would roam the docks of back then, the briny air stinging his nose, the dulled thumping of hooves resounding in his ears. The chants of drunken men coming from inside lit taverns.

He roamed when cars began to be a form of transportation, when children, boys, began marching to war.

He had been so busy, then.

And he roams now, in the modern age, where medicine forestalls the inescapable.

But then, you. Blood rushes to his face the moment he lays eyes on you. His throat dries, turns to the paper that's used to strip paint.

He's never seen something so beautiful. So plump with vitality, life coursing through your veins. A sweet little thing, whose dulcet voice makes his knees weak.

And when you shake hands with him, palm engulfed in his much larger one, as you ask him for his name, his tongue feels as if it's coated with tar, swollen and heavy. But he garbles out his response anyway.

"Simon."

The way you breathe it back, like a sigh from a lover, could still his heart.

Everything else is a blur, his eyes only ever focused on you when he ends up in your arms, in between your spread thighs, inviting him where no creature such as he belongs.

But he's always yearned for what was never his, and so with fervor, he takes. Grabs at soft skin, and whimpers at the fact that you're not dead with his touch. Surrenders himself to you, completely; makes the little dove under him sing until the short arm on the clock gets close to 12.

This is where he departs, with a promise he swears to never break, and wrenches his heart out of his own chest, placing it in your gentle hands.

He swears to come back for it, once every ten years.

Whenever Simon turns back to whatever he's cursed with being, he keeps a keen eye on you. And then the one time he passes by, feeling like nothing but an artic breeze to you, he sees your life is close to an end.

Simon, for once in his pathetic existence, saves a human life. The car that crashes into you at a lethal speed, does nothing but total your vehicle. It is considered an absolute miracle to everyone, except you.

That should've been your demise. That should've been it.

His little dove, too smart for her own good.

The time will soon come again, and when his head rests on your chest, listening to the lulling sounds of your heart beating, will he tell you what he is.

(maybe, or not idk)

"It's a heady tonic. Holding life and death in the palm of your own hand."

[babybat98]

What some people don't realise about Legolas, is that his trip in lotr is just the worst case of side questing of any elf ever. Like his quest journal looks like this:

Main quests:

- Go to Rivendell

- Deliver message that Gandalf's high security prisoner escaped

- Go back home

Side quests:

- Join a Council and learn that Sauron's equivalent of a nuke has been found

- Join a bunch of strangers on a trip to Evil Land to destroy Sauron

- Visit Moria

- Meet a balrog

- Survive meeting a balrog

- Visit Lothlórien

- Meet Galadriel

- Become absolute best friends with a dwarf

- Visit the Gates of Argonath

- Fight new special hybrid orcs

- Lose most of your new friends

- Search quest: find the hobbits you just lost

- 3 day cross country sprint

- Almost fight half of Rohan's army because someone insulted your dwarf bff

- Visit Fangorn

- Recieve omnious message from Galadriel

- Visit Rohan

- Visit Helms Deep

- Fight an army

- Kill count competition with dwarf bestie(lost)

- Visit Isengard

- Search quest completed: found the hobbits

- Meet Treebeard the Ent

- Sweet talk said Ent into letting you bring a dwarf, axe and all, into Fangorn

- Walk through the path of the dead

- Fight a pirate fleet

- Hear sea gulls for the first time and aquire am inescapable longing to sail West

- Sail a pirate ship to Gondor

- Visit Gondor

- Fight another army

- Visit Minas Tirith

- March to the Black Gate on a suicide mission

- Visit Mordor

- Fight a 3rd army

- Survive the suicide mission

- Attend the coronation of your other friend Aragorn

- Visit the Glittering Caves

- Visit Fangorn(properly this time)

- Main quests achieved: went back home

- Move to Ithilien

- Become Lord of Ithilien

- Prepare to sail to Valinor

- Convince your dwarf bestie to come with you to Valinor

- Sail West to Valinor

- Convince the litteral Gods to let you bring your dwarf bestie to Valinor

[kotoku]

Hellohello!

May I request an Aventurine x The Nameless!reader? I think that'll give some interesting dynamic

ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ꜰᴏᴏᴛ

synopsis - When you and your friends are extended an invite from The Family to attend the Charmony Festival, you were looking forward to the opportunity of a get-away! (Despite the suspicion that seemed to surround the invite letter.) That is until a certain IPC Executive approaches the trouble that your group has encountered at the reception desk.

pairings - aventurine x nameless! reader

content - this is kind of an enemies-to-lovers scenario (?) but we haven't reached the lovers part yet folks, front desk drama, character shenanigans, i don't really have much to say because it's not really fluff nor angst, let's just say it's a glimpse into a relationship (that would take super duper long to develop into)

warnings - none, besides the occasional swearing

⋘ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ... ⋙

When Pom Pom had made the announcement that the Astral Express was about to head to its next destination, Penacony, a part of you was thrilled at the opportunity. However, an unpleasant feeling nagged at you. The invitation letter that was sent out by the family had suspicion written all over it. What exactly will happen at this Charmony Festival? Will your friends manage to find relaxation or get dragged down an inescapable rabbit hole? Time will only tell…

Shaking off the feeling of slight dread, you turned back to your luggage and checked that you had everything. You didn’t pack a lot, but enough to last your stay and more than enough room for souvenirs. Your train of thought was interrupted by rapid knocking, a familiar bubbly voice muffled by your bedroom door. 

“_____! We’ll be heading out soon! Don’t forget anything important!” March called, sounding a little impatient. You couldn’t blame her though, she had been waiting for this trip for a while. 

“I’m almost done! I’ll meet you guys in the main cabin!” You called back, scanning your luggage. 

After checking the rest of your stuff, you rolled out your luggage and bid your goodbyes to Dan Heng, meeting March 7th and the trailblazer at the main cabin.

“Are you guys ready?” You asked, smiling at March 7th’s enthusiasm and the Trailblazer’s excitement. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be! Let’s go before Himeko and Welt leave us stranded at the front desk!” March chimed.

March 7th hauled her luggage down the steps of the express, both you and the Trailblazer following suit. 

-----

Stepping into the Reverie Hotel, the floors which looked to span endlessly left you at a loss for words. It truly was a grand sight, the beautiful decor placed meticulously around the lobby. Near the reception desk were Himeko and Welt, seemingly frustrated and confused about something. 

The receptionist had an apologetic look. This couldn’t be good…

“Uh oh… Trailblazer, ____, something isn’t right.” March spoke, a concerned look on her features. It seems she has also noticed the scene up ahead. 

The Trailblazer had waved goodbye to the bell boy named Misha, following you and March 7th to the front desk. 

“Hey, what’s with the big gathering at the concierge about? We’ve just arrived and there’s already drama happening?” March sighed, stopping by Himeko.

“I’m sorry, but your name really isn’t in the system…” The receptionist apologized, Himeko crossing her arms in thought.

“Mr Yang, what’s going on here?” You gave Welt a questioning glance while the others were speaking to the receptionist. He sighed, closing his eyes before opening them again.

“There are 5 rooms reserved for us. However..the issue is that the Trailblazer isn’t on that list. I assume it’s because they didn’t arrive on the express until later.” Welt explained, looking over to the rest of the group. “Ms Alley, if it is possible, can we reassign the last room to the Trailblazer? It would still be the same amount of people.”

As the others were trying to find a solution to this check-in problem, you noticed a blond figure making his way over to the front desk. Observing his clothing, you were able to recognize that he was an IPC executive of the Strategic Investment Department. If you were to guess his reasoning for being here, it would be because of the invite The Family sent out. However, his presence here did not ease the dread that still plagued you.

The man glanced towards you, a smile devoid of emotion remaining on his face as he interrupted the receptionist’s explanation. 

From there, the group learned that his name was Aventurine, an IPC executive and one of the ten stonehearts, Diamond’s subordinate. With the attitude he was giving the group, you almost wanted to wipe that damn look on his face. The worst part was that he knew how frustrating he was, fueling your irritation further. You were about to make a retort to one of his statements before Himeko gave you a knowing glance. Crossing your arms with your brow twitching in annoyance, you spared Aventurine a glare. 

In return, that bastard gave you a smug smirk before returning to his conversation with Himeko.

The Trailblazer seemed to notice your irritation and gave you an empathetic pat on your shoulder, sharing the same frustrations. 

This ‘Aventurine’ was an enigma to you, his intentions and actions being hard to discern with arrows being pointed to varying conclusions. Being through a multitude of trailblazing missions, his character immediately spelled trouble for you and your friends. Yet finding just what trouble he will cause for your group will have to wait. For now, he was busy stirring trouble at the front desk with onlookers whispering and starting to gossip.

“-- I’ll be counting on all my ‘Trailblazer’ friends here. Looking forward to a delightful time with you all.” Aventurine’s voice interrupted your observation. Hearing the word ‘friends’ being uttered by Aventurine made you look at Himeko with a deadpan expression. It seems that you will be seeing each other around often if you were now considered his friends. Hopefully, he’d be much more interested in your Trailblazer friend..sorry Trailblazer.

Surprisingly, the head of the Oak Family, Sunday, and the universally renowned singer who was his younger sister, Robin, approached your group at the front desk. After Sunday spoke with the receptionist, Aventurine dismissed himself and walked with Sunday to the side, conversing about whatever it was Aventurine had business with. Before he left, he gave you a side glance and a smile. 

Robin’s voice snapped you out of your wary gaze, calling your group over to one of the lounges to have a seat. 

----- 

It had taken a while, but before you knew it you were finally checked in and had arrived at the VIP area. Extending your arms over your head, you hummed in satisfaction at the cracking of joints. 

“Glad that that’s over. I'm hoping nothing troublesome will await us when we arrive at our rooms.” You sighed, walking towards the bar that stood in the center of the room. 

People were scattered around the area, lost in their own conversation as you surveyed the area. 

The interior design had a nostalgic and dreamy aesthetic surrounding it, reminding you of vintage designs and items from your home planet. The atmosphere surrounding Penacony felt light, the concept and history of the place fueling your interest. You couldn’t wait for what encounters you’d face in the dreamscape. 

“_____! We’re going to put our stuff away in our rooms. Do you want to come with?” March 7th pulled you from your thoughts. 

Giving her a smile, you shook your head. 

“You guys can go without me. I’m going to look around for a bit.” “Ok! Trailblazer, let’s go!”

Watching March 7th and the Trailblazer race up the stairs with their belongings, you turned your attention toward the man who was playing the piano. You walked over and stood amongst the small crowd, watching his performance. Although you didn’t recognize the song that he was playing, it soothed your feelings and the stress from earlier seemed to almost fade away. 

Key word, almost.

After everyone had left for their separate rooms, you were the last to follow as you chatted with some of the people who worked there. You bid your goodbyes to the Intellitron nurse who was seated near the rooms and turned the corner into the hallway. However, you didn’t expect to see Aventurine walking out of the Trailblazer’s room. In an instant, you felt your stress come back in the form of a headache, just what was he doing in their room? 

“Ah, _____, is it? I apologize for any perceived slight that you may have felt during our first encounter.” Aventurine hummed, stopping in his tracks when he noticed you. “I look forward to any future encounters, friend.” 

Your eyes narrowed.

“What were you doing in the Trailblazer’s room, Aventurine?” You questioned, arms crossing over your chest. 

“No need for suspicion, friend. I was simply conversing with the Trailblazer about the room arrangements and offered my apologies.” He explained, watching you carefully analyze him. 

“Also, I appreciate you finding my appearance attractive enough to stare at during our last encounter, but I have to ask if that is appropriate of that of a Nameless?”

Your cheeks flared up in both embarrassment and anger, fingernails leaving indents on your palms when you uncrossed your arms. “Excuse me? I was not admiring your appearance, it’s best to not come to such conclusions after a first meeting, Aventurine.” You huffed.

“Is that so? Then the same could be said for you, friend. Although I haven’t made the best first impression, it wouldn’t be wise to assume that that makes up my whole character, correct?” Aventurine countered, his smile widening at your increasing irritation.

“I suppose so, my apologies.” You begrudgingly apologized, your balled fists fell lax. 

“Mmmm, I’m glad you agree. Now that that’s resolved, I’d like to discuss something with you.” Aventurine strolled closer to you, a sly smile crossing his features. This couldn’t be good. 

“Apologies, Aventurine, but it seems that–” “Friend, I would like to make you an offer that would benefit the both of us.” 

The distance between the both of you was small, about a foot away from each other. Your brow 

twitched at the closeness, nervousness clawing at your stomach. Yet, you stood your ground.

Before he could speak another word, a woman with purple hair interrupted the both of you. 

“Excuse me, do any of you know where this area is?” She inquired, giving Aventurine a glance and then looking at you. 

“I’m sorry, miss. I think there is a Family Member in the lounge who may know where your room is. Would you like me to escort you to them?” You tried taking the opportunity to get away from Aventurine and whatever he was scheming. 

“...No, that’s okay. Thank you for your help.” The woman left, continuing to pass you guys. 

“...You’ll have to excuse me, but I am feeling awfully tired after my travels.” Aventurine was about to speak up but you had already passed him, walking to your room. “I hope your stay in Penacony is a pleasant one, Aventurine.” 

He stared at your retreating form, turning a corner into another hallway. Aventurine sighed in disappointment, having looked forward to talking with you. Perhaps, he’ll have to wait until he sees you again to have a proper conversation. 

“I look forward to when we meet again, _____.”

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ⋙

note - hi everyone! i just want to say that it'll probably be a bit until i post something but i have received some of your requests! this week seems fairly busy so i'm sorry for any slow responses. i hope to get something out by tomorrow or thursday. thank you all for your understanding and support! (´◡`)

[chaeyoei]

Dan heng with a vampire reader who's been holding the urge to suck Dan Heng's blood, but one night they couldn't hold it in anymore and came to his room to suck his blood by biting his neck.

Here it is.

Gender Neutral Reader.

While bloodlust maybe common in most vampires, to live harmoniously amongst humans they had to quit this habit and feed on animal blood, although that will weaken them and they will eventually die. Otherwise, they would be exterminated once and for all.

Vampires are spectaculed to not have the ability to love or feel love. And you believed it until you met him. You boarded the Express before March 7th or trailblazer.

For some reason, his scent attracted you more than anyone else. Those bloodlust instincts got strong around him.

The main pivot of this friendship started when you both were placed together on a mission. "Take the right. I'll jump from here." He composed a plan, looking at the adversary. He leapt into the air with the help of spear as you rushed forth to distract the enemy. But the monster had seen through this plan. It hurled at attack at Dan Heng, making the situation inescapable as he was bound to get hurt by the attack or fall damage. Without a moment's hesitation, you leapt up, flying towards him to get him away from the attack. Catching him mid air and landing safely (Totally not inspired by MSA). It was.. amusing to see a baffled look on the stoic man's face. But you both couldn't talk now not until the monster is defeated. ———— "So you can fly?" He randomly asked as you both walked towards the station where the Express was parked in. You felt conflicted. Should you tell him the truth or not? "You're a vampire, aren't you?" He already knew the answer. An individual without wings and being able to fly, that was a vampire. Nevermind. Looks like he figured it out. "Yeah." "I thought Vampires had a bloodlust for humans?" He asked, seeming curious. This would be great information for the Data Bank. "They do. But if we want to live, we have to quit such habits. If not, humans will hunt us down and we'll go extinct." You answered with somewhat of reminiscent look. "..." He looked at you. "It suddenly comes to light why you take care of the Express and go on night missions. Do Himeko and Welt know about this?" You shook your head. "They don't and I'll tell them when I think it's best. If you could-" "Don't worry I'll keep this secret safe." He knew what you were about to request and he would abide by his statement until you told Himeko and Welt about this.

Being around for centuries and travelling amongst the planets before made you a reliable support for the Astral Express.

"Y/N, you know what that planet's name is?" March 7th asked eagerly, wanting to know what the blue planet afar was. "It's a gaseous giant named caeruleus. I believe it has a ring system but it's barely visible." You answered chuckling at the girl's enthusiasm. "So we can't explore it?" March asked to confirm, disappointed to know the truth. "The train and we would implode by the high pressure." Dan Heng raised a logical argument. "It's still very pretty." March mumbled. The girl was prone to getting curious about things she found pretty.

After the Belobog mission, you set foot on the icy planet to make a brief about its condition. And Dan Heng accompanied you, wanting to make a report on the different creatures as they may come useful for the Data Bank.

Unfortunately for you both, a strong hailstorm occurred, making anything barely visible in the wind. Dan Heng wrapped his arms around you, being familiar with the way and dragged you to the hotel where the trio had stayed previously.

"We'll finish our work once the storm ends." He said, ruffling out any snow in his hair.

You agreed, it was the reasonable thing to do. A cold breeze sweeping past you both from the door, showing how cold it was.

And one you both woke up, it was a sunny morning. You were and would be cooked. You hid in the darkest corner of your room.

"Y/N, ready to go?" His voice came from the other side of your door.

"I can't. The sun.."

He entered the room, realising what you meant. He closed the curtains and sat down beside you. "I have a question. How low of a temperature can you survive?"

"I've lived in -3°C but that I don't think that's about it."

"How good of a memory do you have?" He raised another question.

"Photographic."

".. Can you tell me where I kept my phone?"

"Wasn't it in your pocket?"

He searched his pockets, finding the device there. He sheepishly scratched his neck. "I was looking for this all morning."

This talk continiued until the sun set and you both finished your work and returned to the Express.

————

You were humming about your work, with the back of your head replaying all the moments you've had with and most importantly his smile. You would gladly sell your soul if it means to protect that rare smile.

"Y/N, they're here." Himeko called out to you and you rushed forth ofcourse to see that special person. But your face fell seeing something else.

"Dan Heng?" You were confused. Was he cosplaying as someone? You admit to yourself that he does look majestic with the attire embroidered with gold matching his teal, long hair with sea blue tips and horns adorned on top of his head. But he's not a person who'll do a thing as.. cosplay.

"Yeah. It's me..." He paused trying to string together a sentence.

"You both are so awkward!" March couldn't handle the odd atmosphere.

.

He later pulled you aside to talk. "Hey.. do you not like me in this form?" He wasn't one to care about looks so this was baffling. "I'm still Dan Heng." He sounded like he was trying to assure himself than you.

"I know. You're still Dan Heng just with long hair and a different attire." You cracked a smile but a realisation hit you. Different. It's because he's a Vidyadhara that his scent attracts you much more than anything. How come you've not realised that yet?

"So.. do you like this form?" You caught the underlaid eagerness waiting for your approval.

"I definitely do." Now you can't just praise him to your heart's content as you want to. You'd look like a fool.

————

"...They look like anything but friends" March eyed you both talking to each other, one of Dan Heng's hand holding yours.

"March let them be. Attention doesn't necessarily equate love. They might just enjoy each other's company and holding hands is just another form of it" Welt suggested, putting down his newspaper.

"..hmm, even offering the other their coat?"

"Of course. Would you not lend a coat to a friend who needs it?" Himeko tried to make her understand with an example.

"I still smell love between them." Unfortunately for the pink girl, she had no statement to back it up.

————

The Express set foot into the land of festivities, Penacony. Since it was always night time, you also joined the group.. on the last day because you stayed behind with Dan Heng and Pom Pom.

You took the lone streets, this tranquility clear your head except for one person, him. It's like he had captured your brain. He'll be in your head when you think, eat, shower, anything.

It was nice to have a moment alone but your nostrils picked up the pungent smell of blood from the empty roads. With all you had, you resisted the thrist for blood albeit your fangs grew. You ran away from there and back onto the Express, not wanting to do anything impulsive.

You hurried to your room and locked yourself. It was unbearable to control yourself with grown fangs and his scent nearby. Your body was going overdrive, with faltered steps trying to go back and te scent driving you towards his room. You knocked on his door before opening him finding him awake.

"Oh Y/N, do you need something?" He asked unaware of your true intentions which made you feel a pang of guilt.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." With each laid step on the floor, the guilt increased.

"I also wanted to say something." He patted the side beside him. "You know the first person I tried to bond with was you. You intrigue me." He continued with his words.

Then it hit. He trusted you. He saw himself in you. A person struggling to live because of their origin. That's why he was more open to you, because you both were in a similar situation. He could resonate with you and he knew that..

This made you feel more guilty with the intentions you've come to his room with. The scent reaching your nostrils made it more hard to keep your composure. Would he even agree to such a horrendous request? His consent matters, you'll be no less than a groomer If you just force yourself on him. Still you needed to ask.

"Dan Heng.. I have a request." If he showed a negative reaction, you were going to pretend it was a joke and immediately leave his room. "Can I bite your neck?"

"Is that serious question?" His inquiry completely butchered your plan.You were sweating buckets. What do you do now? Keeping pushing it or just play it as a joke? After avoiding his gaze and looking here and there, you answered. "Yes?"

"..."

"You don't have to agree if you don't like-" You were cut off. "Sure." he answered."You won't mind if I suck on your blood?" You were confused. On what basis was he letting you do this?

"Did you... not get the hint? Was I not obvious?" He started to question himself. "Why do you think I did the things I did?"It all came crashing down.

"Oh..." You can't believe you were that dense. You need to walk away and bang your head for not noticing. Your cheeks were now dusted with pink. His words were a confession not simple talk.

"Are you going to do it?" Why did he look excited?

"Yeah, can you-" He already knew what to do, lower his jacket and shirt from his shoulders, revealing his collarbone. "Okay." You were only getting more red. The cause of your death was going to be him and not weakness at this point.

You were getting what you want, then why were you so nervous? You shifted closer, placing your left hand on his left shoulder and your right hand on the the right side of his neck. "Tell me if it hurts."

You buried your head into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. Your canines finally coming in contact with his skin. The fangs inserted into the blood vessel. It had been so long since you've fed on human blood, your pupils dilated as you felt power return to you. But as much as you want keep drinking. You stopped after an adequate amount.

"Does it sting?" You looked at the mark formed on his collarbone.

"A little." He answered, fixing his clothes.

There was still something you needed to confirm. "So what are we after this?"

————

"See I knew they were in love!" March jumped around happily, having disproven both Himeko and Welt.

"Looks like we have to relying on March for these matters. Anyway, Congratulations you both." Welt chuckled.

"They're both a young but old couple." Himeko patted you on the shoulder.

They were happy about your relationship and already knew the things going on between you both. You both glanced at eachother, were you both the only ones who to the longest to understand? Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore.

So this was very much rushed. And I'll update it if brain rot hits.

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chp: 17

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 3.9k

Warnings: plot heavy, a sprinkle of fluff , smut (?) , dark themes

Note: hi! sorry this one took so long i'm not even going to get into it, what's important is that it's finally here lol I'd say there's maybe 2 more chapters left of this story including the epilogue. i'm not too sure yet, but we are definitely nearing the end which is sort of bitter sweet.. but anyway, as always i hope you enjoy this one!

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1 @t-wylia @raven-ss @unexpected-character

“Here, this should do.” Hermione states in a hushed tone whilst dragging you behind a pillar to hide.

You stood behind her as she retrieved the cloak of invisibility from her bag, quickly draping it over the both of you.

Hermione pulls you even closer to remain as hidden as possible, so you instinctively wrap your arms around her torso.

You were allowed limited time to devise a plan as Snape summoned all students out of bed, all ordered to assemble in the Great Hall at once.

Harry made the impulsive decision to hide amongst the crowd of students so he may confront the Headmaster. The rest of you are forced to follow his lead, entirely improvising as you go.

Despite yourself, you do hope that Ron has managed to sneak out of the castle in time to fetch the other members of the Order. 

The Dark Lord and his followers are expected to march against Hogwarts any minute now, Harry needs all the help he can get.

-

Hogwarts always felt vaguely warm and comfortable to you, but now it is dense and inhospitable. You hardly recognised it anymore.

It is consistently hard to catch your breath, and you can't seem to ignore the uncomfortable chill running down your spine.

Hermione's presence being your only source of comfort, during a time that you otherwise found utterly debilitating. 

“Well, I don't know about you but this is quite nice. I really wouldn't mind staying like this with you, forever.” You attempt to lighten the mood as you further pressed your front against Hermione's back, earning a light chuckle in response.

“Honestly, I wouldn't mind either.” Hermione leans back slightly allowing you to place a quick kiss on her cheek before standing upright once more.

Your girlfriend keeps her eyes on the large group of students marching past, in anomalous unison. The sounds of their rhythmic footsteps echo through the halls. Not a single word is uttered amongst them. 

You can feel Hermione tense against your hold, as if she was trying to fight a similar feeling of deep and inescapable unease.

The final group of students enter through the doors, the large wooden panels shut with a large thud. 

Then, it is only silence, you can only hear the sound of your own breathing, the loud thumping of your raised heartbeat in your ears.

“Y/n..” Hermione's voice is a welcomed distraction from the unbearable quiet, it nearly makes you smile. 

“Yes, darling.” You respond, the other woman turns slightly so she may look at you as she speaks.

“I've been thinking..” Hermione starts. “It is no use that we find the other Hocruxes if we don't have the means to destroy it.”

Hermione's words make you pause. Truth be told, it hadn't even occurred to you until now. You had been so caught up in trying to locate the next object that you had entirely forgotten you no longer had the sword of Gryffindor in your possession.

“There's no chance we can take back the sword.. not now.” You think aloud, searching your mind for a solution. Hermione releases a groan at that, frustration and defeat. “I know.”

Then it occurs to you, a miraculous solution to your issue, or a shot in the dark, you were not yet certain.

“The Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets..” You trail off, now capturing Hermione's full attention. “What happened to it after Harry slayed it?” You ask, hoping your girlfriend will give you the answer you were looking for.

“Nothing, it's still there, left to decay in the Chamber.” Hermione replies, and a beat passes where nothing is said between you, but your girlfriend manages to catch up to your train of thought anyway.

“If we find a way to the chamber we can retrieve the Basilisk fang from the skeleton and destroy the Hocrux.” Your girlfriend voices the contents of your mind for you.

“With some luck.” You add.

Then, Hermione grins, a look of relief washes over her. Still underneath the cloak Hermione manages to turn around, she loops her arms around your neck, quickly guiding you in for a searing kiss, one that leaves your lips tingling even moments after she has pulled away. 

“You are brilliant.” Hermione utters, and this time it is your turn to smile.

“That's all you, my love.” You quip. Watching as Hermione makes a face in contentment before turning away from you once again.

Snape's voice can be faintly heard from where the two of you were standing, you tried to listen but Hermione's kiss ignited something within you. A sudden sense of serenity, now you are convinced that everything will turn out as you plan, as if you weren't currently in imminent danger.

As you held Hermione in your arms you allowed yourself to forget the threat of battle, if only for a few moments.

You can't hardly help the way your hand slips underneath her sweater, you feel her goosebumps forming underneath your touch as your palm grazes her bare stomach. 

This only works to urge you on as you carefully part her hair away from her neck, so you may plant gentle kisses against her warm flesh. Hermione's eyes flutter shut at the sensation, and you can hear her breath quickening. 

Although, you aren't allowed to carry on for long as she finally places her hand atop yours, removing it from underneath her top.

“Stop distracting me, I am trying to listen.” Hermione scolds, half-heartedly, her tone makes you smirk, a fire threatens to ignite, but you relent.

You could still only make out bits and pieces of what the Headmaster was saying, and nothing coherent. 

Soon deciding that you needed to get closer to the doors if you hoped to find out what was going on inside. You observed the lack of teachers roaming the halls, it appears you and Hermione were alone.

“Let's move closer.” You suggest, pulling the cloak off both of you so you may move freely.

“Alright.” Hermione agrees, clutching your hand as you advance forward together. 

Through the crack in the door, you are able to spot Snape, on the podium, addressing the students, the Carrows standing by either side of him.

“Punished in a matter consistent with the severity of their transgression.”

“Any person to have knowledge.. who fails to come forward, will be treated as equally guilty.”

You listened as the Headmaster continued hurling his veiled threats towards the group of blameless students. It makes your blood run cold and it appears Hermione felt as equally unsettled by Snape's words.

“Now then, If anyone here has any knowledge of Mr Potter's movements this evening. I invite them to step forward.. now.” Snape's words are met with complete silence, and your belly tightens with nauseating suspense.

The sound of sudden footsteps that echo from behind the two of you breaks the tantalizing quiet. It makes you whirl around in a panic, only for you to spot Ron next to his brother, Shacklebolt behind him and then the rest of the Order.

“What's going on?” Ron asks, looking between you and Hermione, and you merely hold your hand up to silence him as Hermione continues peeking through the crack.

The next thing that can be heard is a mass of gasps coming from the other side of the doors, students muttering amongst themselves. Before you can question it, the sound of Harry's voice validates your anxiety. 

You freeze, whereas Hermione merely steps forward, bracing her hand against the door, as if prepared to push it open, ready to come to Harry's defense.

“It seems, despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you seem to have a bit of a security problem, Headmaster.” Harry's voice can be heard clearly as Hermione pushes the wooden doors open, you along with the rest of the Order follow her lead, now wands in hand, entering the hall as a group.

All eyes are now on you, more gasps in disbelief as you all stood behind Harry.

You then make the mistake of letting your eyes wander, it doesn't take long before you catch Pansy's gaze. Her stare, hardened and unforgiving enough to make you look away in an instant. You decide to focus your attention ahead.

Harry's harsh voice makes the walls in the hall vibrate.

“How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night, tell them how you look him in the eye, a man who trusted you and killed him.”

Harry continues to taunt the Headmaster, all he is granted with is silence, for a long moment, until Snape retrieves his wand.

He points it at Harry but before The Chosen One is allowed a chance to properly react, he is shoved out of the way, Professor McGonagall shielding him with her person.

It all happens quickly, the Professor flings spell after spell at the Headmaster, and everyone can merely observe with bated breaths as Snape deflected every blow.

The Headmaster lifts his wand to shield himself but this time the curse rebounds. As a result, the Carrows fall, unconscious.

Professor McGonagall steps closer but before she can attack once again, Snape is no longer upright as he quickly transfigures into a black mass, apparating out of the window behind him. The broken glass falls with a large crash.

A stunned silence before an eruption of cheers from the bystanders. Celebrating the Professor's triumph. 

Hermione glances at you with a similar look of relief, but the both of you recognize that it is fleeting.

Just as you expected, the moment of joy is over as quickly as it began. The mark on your arm, what was a dull ache turns into a searing pain, so sudden and paralyzing that it knocks you to the ground, still clutching your arm.

Hermione rushes to your side, but before she can attempt to question what was wrong Harry can also be seen collapsing onto the floor in front of you.

You catch a glimpse of Hermione's panicked expression, she turns to her best friend and then to you. Your girlfriend attempts to speak to you but you cannot hear her.

The pain in your arm has now spread, you shut your eyes tightly as you endured it. The hall grows dark once again, stagnant and cold. A spine chilling voice of the Dark Lord echoes through the air, easily distinguishable and unsettling. 

Soon there is a mass of screams coming from each corner of the room, students plugging their ears in terror.

Lord Voldermort aims to convey a message; a threat.

Hermione is holding you tightly against her own body, the pain in your arm is finally reduced to a dull ache once again.

“I know that many of you will want to fight, some of you may even think that to fight is wise, but this is folly.”

“Give me Harry Potter, do this and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded.”

“You have one hour.”

The Dark Lord's attempt to entice has merely immobilized everyone for a prolonged moment.

You finally get back on your feet, Hermione does not let go of you still. “Are you alright?” She manages to find the words and you only nod in response.

As you glanced around the room, you realized that once again, all eyes are on Harry. This time the stares are hostile, some uncertain, others, plain terror.

Pansy's voice is first to break the tense stillness. “What are you waiting for? Someone grab him.” She points to The Chosen One.

Ginny is first to step in front of Harry, followed by Ron, Hermione, yourself and the rest of the Order follow suit.

As Pansy catches your stare again she scoffs, this time your hardened expression mirrors her own.

“Mr Filch, if you would, I would like you to please escort Ms Parkinson and the rest of Slytherin house from the hall.” Professor McGonagall orders the caretaker of the castle. 

The man emerges from the crowd, his tired long haired cat in his arms. “Where exactly will I be leading them to, Maam?” He asks.

“The dungeons would do.” The Professor quickly states. This makes Hermione reach down to hold your hand once again, you respond by intertwining your fingers.

There was more sudden applause from the students as they celebrated Mr Filch leading the other Slytherins out of the hall.

As expected, you notice Pansy walking towards you, and you make the hasty decision to turn away so you could hopefully avoid her. However, you don't get the chance to try as she gets close enough to grab your collar harshly, then you react on instinct, getting a tight hold on her wrist.

“Fucking traitor.” She hisses, the sudden nature of the interaction makes you wince.

You open your mouth to speak but Hermione quickly steps in. “Let go of her, or I swear you will be leaving this hall with no hands.” There is enough vitriol in her voice to make anyone cower, but Pansy was not yet done, in fact she barely acknowledges your girlfriend at all. 

“If I had known you were with your muggle pet this entire time..” Pansy trails off, she shakes her head slightly, repulsed.

“You're an embarrassment. I can hardly believe I ever considered you a friend.” Pansy retorts.

The same Pansy you have known since first year. You can't help the pang in your chest, her words manage to graze you.

She grants you a scowl before storming off, Blaise follows immediately after her, having listened to the entire interaction. He bumps his own shoulder against yours before slipping past, purposefully setting you off balance. 

You held your tongue, reminding yourself to remain calm.

When you turn to Hermione once more the look plastered on her face makes you ache. She recognizes your hurt, and she can't help but feel it too. “Y/n–” She starts but you quickly interject with a change of topic.

“I have half a mind to carve this thing out of me.” You quip, only partly joking. The dark mark now stifled by your sleeve.

Your joke doesn't translate, in fact it only urges Hermione to worry about you more. “You will do no such thing.” She warns with furrowed brows as she reaches up to fix the collar of your shirt, badly creased from Pansy's fury.

Hermione's own wrath yet to dissipate, you feel it in the way her hand trembles. 

You smile faintly at her in gratitude, in an endless sea of chaos, she is your helm.

As the rest of the students begin clearing the hall, Harry rushes past as well, urging Ron, y/n and Hermione to follow. “Come on.” He exclaims without looking back.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

Terror pollutes the air surrounding Hogwarts, contagious and unrelenting. It infects everyone, guiding and inspiring frantic behaviour. 

As all the Professors remain in the outer courtyard, securing the castle, students are left indoors to their own devices. Everyone is pushing, shoving. Coming and going. No one knows what to do, the only thing that's certain is that fear hangs over them a dark cloud enveloping all. 

“Harry, wait!” Hermione exclaims, trying to get her friend's attention but dark haired man barrels forward, Ron by his side.

Your finally manage to catch up to him, Hermione tugs on Harry's arm, forcefully urging him to look at her. 

“I've had an idea– well really it's Y/n's idea it's completely brilliant.” Hermione gestures towards you as she raises her voice slightly so she may be heard over the commotion.

Harry stares at you, inquisitive yet impatient so you decide speak quickly. “It doesn't matter if we find the Hocrux unless we can destroy it.” You say.

“You destroyed Tom Riddle's diary with the Basilisk fang, right?” You question rhetorically but Harry nods regardless.

“Well, Hermione and I think we know where we might find one.” You add vaguely, a precaution against prying ears.

“Okay, fine– but take this” Harry seems only half present in the conversation now, he is not even looking at you as he retrieves the Marauder's Map from his pocket.

You grab the bit of parchment, admittedly perplexed by his response. “That way you can find me when you get back.” Harry explains and you nod.

The Chosen One turns to continue up the stairs without looking back, Ron blindly trails after him, it seems asking Harry questions now will only slow them down.

“Where are you two going?” Hermione on the other hand cannot contain her curiosity.

“Ravenclaw Common Room. We've got to start somewhere.” He explains, practically shouting above the clamour.

As Ron and Harry dissapear into the crowd 

Hermione quickly intertwines your hand with her own, dragging you up the stairs in the opposite direction. “Come on, this way.”

–

The girl's lavatory remained vacant as you both made your way down the long winding slope, a pile of something soft breaks your harsh landing, in the darkness you are not able to make out what it might be.

The chamber was dark, every surface caked with dust, you can feel it in your lungs everytime you took a breath. No doubt the chambers has been left entirely untouched since the event all those years ago. 

Every step you took echoed towards the void, the faint noise of critters scampering on the walls was enough to unsettle you.

“Lumos.” Hermione says with her wand in hand, illuminating your path. It was only then you had the sense to do the same with your own.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

You finally get to the entrance but only to realize it is locked, intricate stone carvings of serpents mounted proudly on the door; a warning. 

You inspect it carefully, but there is no visible keyhole any clues of how to unlock it.

Hermione bravely places her hands upon it, a feeble attempt to pry the heavy door open, but it is no use.

She sighs, exasperated.

“Any ideas?” Hermione looks to you, desperate.

You remained silent as you deliberated, your first instinct was to enter with force, throw a curse large enough to hopefully break apart the stone door atleast enough for the both of you to fit through.

That plan does not come without it's risks, you set it aside for now.

You begin considering other solutions, and naturally your mind involuntarily turns to the events surrounding the chamber of secrets all those years ago, your second year at Hogwarts. 

The perpetual anxiety that plagued you, and every other student in the castle. Everyday, the Basilisk claimed a new victim and for several weeks, you were only allowed to wonder who it might choose next.

You distinctly recall the way Draco reacted to it all, how he insisted on learning parseltongue so he could gain control of the beast. Feeding into the widespread fear that Harry was the true heir of Slytherin. That he would target him next if he did not learn how to defend himself.

Countless nights where your best friend would stay up memorizing phrases in parseltongue, certain that he would then gain the ability to control the beast if it ever came after him.

Whether he was driven by jealousy or plain and simple fear is unclear, but Draco's relentless efforts, as a result, forcefully imprinted the unfamiliar dialect into your vocabulary. 

Although, time certainly did it's duty, and now you are only able to recall certain words. 

You wonder if it will perhaps still be enough to possibly unlock the door to the chamber.

“I have an idea, but it might not work.” You reply, although entirely lacking confidence.

Hermione doesn't share your doubts, she nods assuredly eventhough she has no notion of what you intend to do. “Go on then.”

You speak the words ‘door’, ‘snake’, and ‘open’ in parseltongue. With your limited knowledge, you cannot hope to form a complete sentence, but luckily enough, the chamber unlocks. The heavy door opens, wide and eerily inviting.

Hermione stares at you wide-eyed in bewilderment. “How–” She tries but you only start forward towards the door.

“Long story– if we survive this I'll tell you all about it.” You quip as you made way for Hermione to step inside before you.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

As it seems your streak of luck has yet to wear off as you succeed in extracting the Basilisk fang. It was just as Hermione said, all flesh has rotted away, now what was left of the beast was only it's skeleton, set to fossilise with time.

The both of you stood unmoving, hovering over the Hufflepuff cup, readying yourselves for the next step. “You do it.” You extend your arm so Hermione may grab the fang but she quickly shakes her head in protest. 

“No, I can't.” She admits but your gaze doesn't falter, courteous and true, you grab her hand.

“Yes, you can.” You state, lightly forcing the fang into her grasp, and she remains hesitant but accepts it anyway.

“I'll be right here if anything happens.” You reassure with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Hermione moves to crouch next to the cup and you do the same, holding it in place.

Your girlfriend glances at you a last time for reassurance and you can only nod. As Hermione lifts her arm with the Basilisk fang in hand, you hold your breath.

In an instant she brings her arm straight down, the tip of the sharp tooth proved sturdy enough to pierce through the ancient relic. The Hufflepuff Cup begins spinning uncontrollably, as if trying to escape the cause of its injury.

Then, the room awakens, the body of water once still on either sides of the pathway you stood suddenly rises in anger. 

The water continues to twist and shape itself into a horrifying sight, the same vision of Voldermort that tormented you when you destroyed the locket.

You grab Hermione's hand, pulling her away from danger, but the being follows you until there was nowhere else to run, you fish out your wand from your pocket but before you can attempt anything, water crashes down onto the both of you. 

You are soaked and breathless, but the room was asleep once more. It is over.

Another Horcrux is destroyed, and air sharply fills your lungs. “You did it.” You state with true relief and Hermione doesn't respond, not with words. 

In one large stride she is directly infront if you, her lips against yours. The kiss shocks your entire system. Open-mouthed, and aguished. Her hand is firmly against the nape of your neck, Hermione melts within your embrace and you react all the same. Before you can protest or question further, your girlfriend pulls away. 

You stare at her, dazed and almost in a trance, consumed in everything and all Hermione. You nearly fail to notice the fact that she was removing her shoes, and then her jacket.

“What are you doing?” You remain staring at her, now with a hint of amusement, but mainly awe.

“We might die today.” Hermione states plainly, the nature of her words do not match her tone.

You observed as she removed her top, now leaving her in only her jeans and bra. She approaches you again, her hands slipping underneath your shirt, warm touch against damp skin makes you shiver in anticipation.

Then you feel her soft lips against the shell of your ear, and soon your jaw. “When I take my last breath I want to remember what it feels like to be with you.. all of you.” Hermione utters, her hands already moving to undo your belt.

[kieran-granola]

Tim keeps stealing Jason's helmet.

Nobody can figure out why he does it. He doesn't wear them. As far as the Bats can tell he doesn't destroy them. And it doesn't look like he's taken to reverse-engineering Roy's tech in them either. No, it's like he just.... yoinks them and disappears them.

Jason gets progressively angrier about this because these helmets cost a ton of money, and like, yeah, okay, he has taken them off in the field for dramatic effect before... but he usually gets them back unless they're busted because he's not fucking made of money, Timtopher.

Unfortunately, whenever Jason confronts him, Tim is adamant that he hasn't stolen anything. And the thing is, Jason is sure it's him, but he doesn't have any actual proof he could use to wipe Tim's smug fake-innocent smile off his dumb, pretty face. There's no video footage, no prints from him that prove that he did it, and when Jason breaks into his place to look for his stash he doesn't find a single helmet anywhere.

It's maddening.

Jason: "Bruce, we have to talk about your kleptomaniac."

Bruce: "I have no influence whatsoever on what Selina does with her time."

Jason: "...I meant Tim."

Bruce: "Oh."

Jason: "..."

Bruce: "...Unfortunately I also have no influence whatsoever on what Tim does with his time."

Jason is pretty sure he has more white hairs than he used to because when will Tim's reign of terror cease? Please, he doesn't want to have to ask Bruce for money. It gets so bad that, eventually, Jason gives up on security measures and decides to just... Keep the helmet on at all times.

It's annoying, and it makes sleeping pretty unpleasant but God help him, you won't get away with stealing a single helmet more, Timathan!

Or so he thinks, at least... Until he wakes up without his helmet.

At this point Jason is considering giving up, because... how—what—no way!!!

But.

He still has one more thing to try and that's straight up haunting Tim. Like, he visits Constantine, uses what money he has left to buy a pair of inescapable magical handcuffs ("Don't ask." "I wasn't about to. What you like in bed's your business, big guy." "It's not like th—Ah fuck, you know what, think what you want.") and marches his way to Tim before cuffing them together.

Tim, blinking at the cuffs, bemused: "You didn't think that one through, did you?"

Jason: "Shut up."

Tim: "No, seriously, what if I need to pee?"

Jason: "Guess you better confess your sins then, or you and I are gonna get verrryyy well acquainted."

Unfortunately for Tim, Jason has the advantage there, because it turns out that the consumption of energy drinks does tend to translate to bathroom uses. Sure, Tim has been to boarding school with shared showers and locker rooms, and he did lose any and all sense of shame. But well... Sharing showers with your schoolmates is one thing, but peeing with your crush staring is another, and he's not an expert on romance but he's pretty sure that would be a faux pas.

With a soul-deep sigh, Tim drags Jason to his lab and finally shows him what he's been doing with the helmets.

Turns out, surviving a warehouse explosion is totally possible when one is wearing highly protective armor to spare their brain from any major damage. Sure, contusions and bodily wounds suck, but they can heal, and Bruce has very very good doctors available, as plenty of alternate universe!Jasons have found out.

Tim: "...and see, this is why I HAVEN'T stolen anything, because I just gave your helmet back to you!"

Jason: "Timothy. You're a maniac, and I'm gonna kiss you now."

Tim: "Oh, ok—hmpf!"