#the infancy gospel of Thomas

[ivie-ro]

As a young autistic child, I thought the only religious option for me was to be an evangelical Christian. I'm also a little shit and cannot accept things that don't make sense just because a figure of authority tells them to me. So here's the 6 steps I took doing a deep dive trying to make sense of things and save my faith.

Step 1.) Fully read an NIV copy of the Bible at 10 y/o and take notes about any questions. (The Internet is useful to define the words used.)

Step 2.) Observe the people in your church. What are they saying, doing, believing? Is it consistent with what you've read? Take notes on any questions.

Step 3.) Internet and library time! Research the theology and actual history of Christianity and the region at the time. Take notes on any questions.

Step 4.) Talk to your Church leaders, join a ton of Bible studies, and take a college level apologetics course to try and answer your questions. Take notes on any questions.

Step 5.) Become an atheist at 17 y/o because there are no good answers to your questions.

Step 6.) Spend the rest of your life knowing more about Christian theology, Biblical history, and Apologetics than the people trying to convert you.

[cuties-in-codices]

young jesus breathes life into birds (and butterflies?) fashioned from clay

in an illustrated bible, alsace, ca. 1400

source: Liège, Bibliothèques de l’Université de Liège, ms. Wittert 3, plate 76

[blueiscoool]

1,600-Year-Old Fragment Identified as Oldest Written Account of Jesus Christ's Childhood

A recently deciphered manuscript, dating back to the 4th or 5th century and stored in a university library in Hamburg, Germany, has been identified by researchers as the earliest surviving account of Jesus Christ's childhood.

"Our findings on this late antique Greek copy of the work confirm the current assessment that the 'Infancy Gospel of Thomas' was originally written in Greek," said papyrologist Gabriel Nocchi Macedo from the University of Liège in Belgium.

The papyrus fragment, dating back more than 1,600 years, had gone unnoticed for decades at the Hamburg Carl von Ossietzky State and University Library, until Macedo and Dr. Lajos Berkes from the Institute for Christianity and Antiquity at Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin identified its true origin.

The small fragment, which measures just over 4 inches by 2 inches, contains thirteen lines of Greek letters from late antique Egypt. The content was originally thought to be part of "an everyday document, such as a private letter or a shopping list, because the handwriting is so clumsy," said Berkes. "Then, by comparing it with numerous other digitized papyri, we deciphered it letter by letter and quickly realized it could not be an everyday document."

The researchers believe the copy of the Gospel was created as a writing exercise — given the clumsy handwriting and irregular lines — in a school or monastery, which would make it a much earlier surviving copy of the gospel than the 'Infancy Gospel of Thomas' manuscript from the 11th century.

"The fragment is of extraordinary interest for research," said Berkes. "On the one hand, because we were able to date it to the 4th to 5th century, making it the earliest known copy. On the other hand, because we were able to gain new insights into the transmission of the text."

While the words in the document are not from the Bible, they describe a "miracle," according to the Gospel of Thomas, that Jesus performed as a 5-year-old child as he moulded soft clay from a river into sparrows and then brought them to life.

By Sheri Walsh.

[gretahayes]

I've got a complicated relationship w Christianity but kid-Jesus going around killing and cursing people (usually other children) when they upset him while Joseph trailed behind him & tried (and failed) to keep him in line like an exhausted dad will always have a special place in my heart

[jessicalprice]

the adventures of kid jesus, holy terror

(reposted from Twitter)

So I tend to think that the reason the four gospels that made it into the Christian Bible did so was because they were the ones that conflicted least with most of the major schools of early Christianity. Like, they don't preclude gnosticism, they don't really put Jesus in a particular political movement, etc. They're open to mystical interpretation, but they're among the least mystical of the candidates, etc.

They also involve relatively little Asshole Jesus.

But allow me to introduce you to the Infancy Gospel of Thomas.

No, not the Gospel of Thomas, the most famous of the noncanonical gospels.

The Infancy Gospel of Thomas.

The Infancy Gospel of Thomas was written before 185 CE, when Irenaeus was ranting about it, and after 80 CE, since it borrows from Luke and that's probably when Luke was written point being: as these things go, it's pretty old--this isn't medieval fanfic or whatevs. It was also very, very popular.

So.

The first thing baby Jesus does is make some clay sparrows on Shabbat which freaks everyone out in the way that only Jews written by Christians freak out, because he's 5 years old and 5-year-olds playing with mud on Shabbat is not, like, a big deal.

So anyway, Kid Jesus is there with another kid, who takes a stick and stirs a mud pool Kid Jesus made.

so Kid Jesus turns him into a mummy

The now-mummy kid's parents are understandably upset that their toddler got mummified for stirring some water with a stick and they go to complain to Joseph that his little holy terror of a son is desiccating people.

meanwhile, Kid Jesus is running around town

Another kid is running around town and bumps Kid Jesus's shoulder.

so Kid Jesus kills him

Joseph now has TWO sets of angry parents being like "my dude, your son is killing little kids which is profoundly Not Cool" so he goes to have a talk with Kid Jesus about how we don't just straight-up murder toddlers who bump into us.

Joseph sits Kid Jesus down and is like "look, son, we're being persecuted (translation: asked to stop) now because you're murdering children so maybe stop it?" and Kid Jesus says "aw, Dad, I know you don't mean it" and...

...Kid Jesus strikes the parents complaining that he's murdered their kids blind

Joseph twists his ear and Kid Jesus tells him to quit it and leave him alone to do his murdering in peace.

There's this teacher named Zacchaeus who for some reason is IMPRESSED by all this and is like, "your kid is so wise, my dude, let me teach him" and apparently he was okay at teaching the alphabet:

And he told him all the letters from Alpha even to Omega clearly.

Kid Jesus, on the other hand, is the worst student ever and is all:

thou hypocrite, first, if thou knowest it, teach the Alpha, and then will we believe thee concerning the Beta.

It's unclear whether he actually understands the definition of the term "hypocrite."

Zacchaeus, who's clearly a hardcore masochist, is all like:

Woe is me, wretch that I am, I am confounded: I have brought shame to myself by drawing to me this young child

And he's like "this 5-year-old who yelled at me about the order of the letters is CLEARLY an angel or a god."

No, I mean literally:

he is somewhat great, whether god or angel or what I should call him, I know not.

And Kid Jesus is like yup, I'm here to make you all miserable.

No, I mean literally:

I am come from above that I may curse them, and call them to the things that are above, even as he commanded which hath sent me for your sakes.

But Kid Jesus goes ahead and heals everyone he cursed, and after that, everyone's afraid to contradict him, because they are *literally terrified he will maim them.*

No, I mean literally:

And no man after that durst provoke him, lest he should curse him, and he should be maimed.

Then Kid Jesus and some other kids (I'm hesitant to characterize them as his friends) are playing in the upper story of a house and a kid falls out a window and dies so the dead kid's parents are like, "clearly this kid that's already straight-up murdered 2 other kids did it."

So Kid Jesus raises the other kid from the dead not because, you know, he's a little kid who fell out a window and died and that's tragic, or because his parents are grieving or whatever.

no, he raises him from the dead so the dead kid can back him up that he didn't murder him

Then Kid Jesus turns six and for a little while it seems like he's going to be less of a serial killer. He carries some water to his mom after the pitcher breaks, and uses his superpowers to help his dad with carpentry.

But then his dad decides that he's six so it's really time he learned his ABCs and now that he's a little older maybe he won't be so much of an asshole to his teachers so he gets a new teacher, and this one isn't as submissive as the last one.

Kid Jesus is an asshole to this teacher too, but this one smacks him upside the head for mouthing off.

so Kid Jesus kills him (or maybe just puts him in a coma)

Joseph is like maybe we just homeschool him.

But there's a teacher who's like PUT ME IN, COACH. And Joseph is like look my dude my murder-child has a 100% teacher-killing rate, are you sure? And the teacher's like I CAN DO IT.

Oh wait, Teacher #1 lived because he groveled, I forgot. Anyway, Teacher #3 also grovels, which pleases Kid Jesus so much that he heals/resurrects Teacher #2.

So then Kid Jesus's brother James gets bitten by a snake and Jesus heals him which is nice I guess but James best thank him thoroughly or he might get murdered like every other kid in the village.

And then a baby gets sick and dies and Kid Jesus resurrects him and the villagers are like: "Of a truth this young child is either a god or an angel of God; for every word of his is a perfect work."

because they have the world's shortest memories

So a guy dies and Kid Jesus resurrects him and they're all:

This young child is from heaven: for he hath saved many souls from death, and hath power to save them all his life long.

which IGNORES THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE HE RESURRECTED WERE DEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE HE KILLED THEM

And then there's a paragraph about him teaching in the Temple when he was 12 that's very similar to the one in Luke and that's a wrap.

Behold: the Infancy Gospel of Thomas

and this shit was apparently VERY POPULAR

So yeah, one of the more popular early Christian bestsellers was, just to sum up: Jesus murders a bunch of people, maims anyone who objects, brings them back to life, and everyone who witnesses it thinks that everything he does is perfect after he terrifies them into submission.

[thebookworm0001]

one thing about growing up southern Baptist is you wonder what Jesus was like as a kid because what does it mean for him to have lived a sin-free life as a child when your primary method for figuring out life is fucking up and it’s established that he disobeys but isn’t wrong for doing so

Then you find out about the apocrypha which says a lot of his early miracles were child-murder and then you’ve got a whole new set of questions

[thebestestbat]

the only part of the bible ive read is i had to read some for english in high school. one time i told my mom i wanted to read the bible and she said "why?" i'm assuming because i would have to read it in english. i heard a few passages read out loud in armenian at sunday school (almost all at easter) and i remember a time i went like "um oh my god" but i dont remember what the line was...something about jesus's death i assume. but mostly i was worried that i wasn't allowed to shave my legs yet and i had to wear a dress

[infirmux]

With zero provocation.....

[dougielombax]

The Gospel of Shit That Didn’t Happen.

[gromlyn]

NEW INFANCY GOSPEL OF THOMAS DATING BACK TO 400 AD JUST DROPPED

[mugiworm]

Chapter 3: Jesus Curses Annas’ Son

(1) And the son of Annas the high priest said to him (Jesus), “Why are you doing such a thing on the Sabbath?” And having taken a willow twig, he destroyed the pools and drained the water which Jesus had gathered, and he dried up their gatherings.

(2) But having seen what had happened, Jesus said to him, “Your fruit (will have) no root, and your shoot will be withered like a scorched branch in a violent wind!”

(3) And immediately that child withered away.

I JUST BURST OUT LAUGHING!

[ultimateinferno]

I can't tell you what my favorite movie is but I can tell you my favorite heretical rejected book of the Bible.

[dogstardigitalindex]

Title: The Infancy Gospel of Thomas Explained Channel: ReligionForBreakfast (Dr. Andrew Henry) Length: 6:35

Canonical New Testament has only one story from the post-infancy childhood of Jesus; Infancy Gospel of Thomas fills gap. Unrelated to Gospel of Thomas; tells miracle-based stories of young Jesus. Stories range in their tone and content; he makes clay birds and gives them life, but also curses a fellow child and causes him to wither and die. He is quick-tempered; also portrayed as being more knowledgeable than everyone around him. Gospel emphasizes that Jesus is beyond human comprehension; story consistently clashes against the expectations of Roman society.

[wolfythewitch]

Hey Wolfy have you ever heard of the infancy gospel of Thomas? I think it shows a little baby Jesus using his powers and cursing people

I have! It's a very fun read. Big fan of Joseph pulling on Jesus's ear to scold him for blinding their neighbors

[whencyclopedia]

Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha

In the 2nd century CE, as Christianity was in the process of becoming an independent religion, a body of literature emerged that scholars classify as apocrypha and pseudepigrapha. Apocrypha (Greek: apokryptein, "to hide away") are those books considered outside the canon, meaning that they were not included when the New Testament became official after Constantine’s conversion to Christianity.

Pseudepigrapha ("false writing") were bluntly forgeries. They were written or pretended to be written in the name of a past famous person to provide credibility. Jews utilized this literary device, in their apocalyptic texts that pretend to be written by Enoch, Moses, and Abraham. Because they were in heaven, they were sources of both traditional and hidden secrets.

Christian religious expression encompassed ecstatic behavior, such as "speaking in tongues," spirit possession resulting in prophecy, and developed rules and regulations on uses of the body. Christian behavior was framed with the concepts of celibacy (no marriage contract) and chastity (no sexual intercourse) as ideal behavior. Charis ("gifts") were understood as gifts from the spirit of God. Scholars describe this literature as a particular point of view known as 'charismatic Christianity.' In these stories, the concept of charismatic gifts provided the background for the performance of miracles, healings, and conversions. All of the Christian characters remain chaste and celibate.

The Infancy Gospel of Thomas

People wanted to know more details about the movement. Only Matthew and Luke provided the birth story of Jesus of Nazareth, but then they moved directly to the ministry. What was Jesus like as a child? Did he know from the beginning that he was the messiah? The Infancy Gospel of Thomas answered those questions. The writer of this text remains unknown, but it was assigned to an early missionary named Thomas. For many modern Christians, the child Jesus is not what they expect; this is a portrait of what we would now deem a super-brat.

In the ancient world as well as the modern, people believed that great men must have had an unusual birth and childhood, where they showed early signs of being a prodigy. This was the case with the young Jesus. The text opens with Jesus playing in the mud (like all children). He fashioned the mud into birds which flew, but when Jesus played with the other boys on the street, he got mad and struck one dead. The parents came to Mary and Joseph with a plea to control their child, and so they tried to find him a tutor, but of course, Jesus was smarter than all of them.

One day a neighbor boy fell off a roof and died. Everyone blamed Jesus, so he then resurrected the boy from the dead (a preview of his later activity as an adult). This text does have a happy ending; Jesus went back and resurrected the first boy he struck down. The overall purpose of the text is to show the young Jesus (who has great power) learning eventually to control his gifts to be used for the salvation of humankind only and not his own interests.

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