#the internet troll in me wants to make some condescending remark

[queenlua]

i always knew the ebird discussion group was going to absolutely tear itself apart in some vicious spat of interpersonal drama

but i did not expect “misidentified buller’s shearwater” to be the inciting incident

[megalony]

Suspicions- Part 3

Here is the latest part of my new dad! Ben series which includes some angst in this part. I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have just had their first baby together, but when she gets hurt, suspicion falls on the couple and Ben can’t help but feel like people think he’s done something wrong.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey mate, we're just about to head out, but uh, come in." Ben rubbed his hand over his tired, drained features as he pulled the door open wide enough for Joe to enter the house.

He hadn't spoken to Joe for about three days or so now and with everything happening with Ella, Ben hadn't had much time to talk to anyone or contact anyone. All he had done was call his parents yesterday from the hospital when they found out what was happening with Ella. Ben hadn't even gotten round to telling Joe or any of his other close friends that Ella had now gotten a fractured leg.

Ben watched Joe practically jump inside the house and spin round to face him just as he closed the front door.

He and (Y/n) were about to go back out to the hospital and see Ella and hopefully try and talk to a different doctor, one who would be less condescending and more understanding. They wanted to talk to a doctor about why this is happening and see about bringing Ella back home in a few days when she was a bit better because at this point Ben was refusing to talk to Doctor Harris who had been less than polite the past two times they had seen him.

"I came to check on how you were both doing... are you going to see Ella?" Joe seemed rather jumpy and on edge to Ben which was very unusual. Joe could be enthusiastic and a lot of the time he was excited and impatient, but he was never this kind of worried and jittery like something was wrong.

Ben folded his arms over his chest as he leaned against the bannister, a look of confusion on his face as he took in Joe's words. How did Joe know that Ella wasn't here? Only Ben and (Y/n)'s parents knew that Ella was in the hospital and Joe didn't talk to either of their families. And why would he think to come and check up on them? He had talked to Ben three days ago and Ben had told him that they were doing okay with Ella being out of the hospital at the time.

"How do you know Ella isn't here?" Ben tried his best not to sound rude or suspicious but he couldn't help but feel nervous about how Joe seemed to think something was wrong and know Ella wasn't in the house.

"You... you haven't seen the articles, o-or the tweets?" Joe's whole face dropped as his shoulders sagged like he had a weight pressing down on him.

He thought Ben would have seen the few articles online and the tweets that were trending and exploding on the internet right now. He knew Ben was mainly only on Instagram right now and he didn't usually go on twitter or anything else but he thought Ben would have seen something. Ben tried to stay away from anything online that included him because even though he loved seeing the nice comments about him and his work, he got hung up on the negatives out there on social media. So he tended to stay a hermit when it came to the media, but Joe thought he would have heard about this.

"What are you talking about? Is there something online about Ella?" There was a clear tone of worry in Ben's voice as he felt like his stomach was suddenly doing summersaults.

Was there someone online involving Ella? Had people been talking about her, did a lot of people know she was in the hospital?

Ben had talked to (Y/n) when she got pregnant and they decided he wasn't going to post anything about the baby online. Ben was in a few well-known movies now so he was going to be known, he didn't really like the thought of everyone knowing things about his personal life. He didn't want fans or just random people online knowing he went to scans or knowing if he was having a girl or a boy or knowing his daughter's birthday. He had said in one interview for 6 Underground that he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby but he didn't go into any specifics.

He knew there was at least one photo online with him cradling Ella to his chest when he went out with her once during the first week of her being born but that was it. All people knew was that he had had his baby, they didn't know anything about her.

"I thought you would have known... there's a few articles published last night, someone must have seen you at the hospital last night. They've revealed her name and that she's been hurt." Joe pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through an app for the right article that he had woken up to this morning. As soon as he had read through it he checked the rest of social media and found a lot of people were now interested and getting involved when it was none of their business.

He thought it would be better if he talked to Ben in person about this and now he knew he had made the right choice.

When Joe handed the phone over to Ben, he could have sworn the blond stopped breathing altogether as his eyes skimmed over the words and sentences put together in the article that could only find the one photo online of Ben cradling Ella to his chest.

A fire ignited in Ben's chest as he scrolled down and read the next article that virtually said the same thing. The more he scrolled, the more tweets he found that varied in what they were saying but the only consistent thing was that there was no scrap of truth in anything that he was seeing.

How did people know about Ella?

Why were they saying this about them all?

"I need to call my manager, get these taken off the internet." Ben thrust the phone back at Joe with such a damaged expression that it made Joe want to burst into tears. He knew the internet could be spiteful, he had had his fair share of trolling and unfair remarks or articles but Ben didn't need nor deserve this right now.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We took her to the hospital yesterday and they said now she's fractured her leg... Joe something's happening to her and I don't know what to do." Finding out Ella had a broken collar bone was bad enough, but to find that she now had a fractured leg was even worse because this had happened in less than a month of Ella being born. Ben didn't know what he could do to help his baby girl and he didn't know what on Earth was happening to her.

When anyone apart from (Y/n) had held Ella Ben had watched them like a hawk, he had eagle eyes on them to make sure they weren't too rough or careless with his daughter. He made sure that they were gentle and caring with her and she hadn't suddenly burst into tears or wailed at anyone holding her and no one had dropped her or had any accidents with her.

Ben had no clue what was happening with his girl.

"Is... is anything the article says, true?" Joe regretted the words the moment they passed through his lips when he saw the look on Ben's face.

His eyes blazed with a kind of fire that Joe knew was consuming and his face was hardening like setting stone. How could Joe even think that, let alone have the guts to ask him it? Anything in that article was speculation that was based on false facts and bullshit in Ben's opinion, there was no truth in it whatsoever.

"Are you shitting me right now?" Ben could feel his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Joe was his friend, they had been close for over a year now and Ben thought he would be able to confide in Joe about anything. But if Joe believed everything he read on the internet then it was going to cause a rift between them because the article held no truth.

"Ben I-"

"What, you think I could actually hurt Ella? Joe, she's my daughter and she's not even one month old yet! I have not broken her collar bone and I have not fractured her leg and if you believe I could then get the fuck out of my house."

Someone had clearly told whoever wrote the article that Ella was in the hospital and they managed to find out her name and what she was in the hospital for. Ben knew how bad it was that his baby girl had those injuries but he couldn't believe that people had gone to the extent as to speculate that Ben had physically hurt Ella and had caused her injuries. The vile article stated that Ben had been looking stressed and 'someone' had claimed he had anger issues which was not the case.

People who read the article were now on twitter claiming either that Ben may have hurt Ella or a few people were stating that he never could. But he didn't want people stood in his corner backing him up, he wanted this to stop. No one should be interfering with his life and they shouldn't even be getting involved or taking sides because there was no side to take.

Something had happened to Ella but Ben was not abusing her, he hadn't done this to her.

"Hey, I never said that! I don't believe for one moment you would do that on purpose because I know you, Ben."

"So you think I did it by accident? Or that (Y/n) did it because no one out there knows who she is and therefore she's dodgy?" (Y/n) wasn't in the public eye other than the few times people had snapped photos of her and Ben on a night out. No one knew what job she had, how old she was, where she lived, they knew nothing about her and that was how (Y/n) liked it. But because no one on the internet knew about her, they were now assuming she was suspicious too and that she could have hurt her own daughter just because they didn't know anything about her.

"No! But you can't tell me you don't have a temper like the rest of us. What about that guy you had a fight with a few months back?" Joe wasn't implying Ben hurt Ella or that he did it on purpose. Joe wasn't even sure Ben was capable of doing anything of the sort by accident.

But he had to admit that Ben had a broad frame and build, he could easily hurt someone without realising or meaning to, especially a baby with fragile bones. And Ben had a temper on rare occasions. He wasn't hot-headed, he didn't have road rage and he didn't go around shouting or swearing at people but if it was someone personal or close to home, Ben could have a temper and that was only human. Joe knew as well as the next man that every person was capable of having a temper and it wasn't a bad thing. But Ben had had a few fights in his time.

"(Y/n) was five months pregnant and that dick pushed her into a table, what did you expect me to do?" Ben would admit he had a right temper that day Joe was referring to but he had every right. They had been out with friends and a random stranger thought it was okay to push and knock her into a table without even saying sorry and he thought it was something to smile about. Ben wasn't just going to say that was fine, he had argued with the guy before throwing a few punches because he could have hurt (Y/n).

"You broke his nose-"

"That was a guy who pushed a pregnant lady, okay that was a dick who deserved more than a broken nose. Ella is my baby girl who has been in immense fucking pain these past few weeks. I would never hurt her and I know how to look after her so this was not an accident that happened because of me or (Y/n)."

Tipping his head down, Ben dragged his fingers through his hair as he hoped (Y/n) was still in the shower and couldn't hear their conversation. He didn't want her to worry right now. They just needed to get to the hospital and see how Ella was doing and find a different doctor. They didn't need this hanging over their heads and making everything worse. Ben would call his manager after they saw Ella and he would get this all cleared up, no problem.

"I think you should leave." Ben dug his short nails into his hip as he stared at his feet, indicating for Joe to leave. If he thought Ben could be responsible for this then he was not a friend of Ben's and he was not someone Ben wanted to be around.

Ben didn't need any of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey mum." (Y/n) spoke weakly but she tried to lift her voice as her eyes set on her mother sat watching over Ella. Ben's parents had come down last night to see them and Ella and now (Y/n)'s mum was here keeping watch over Ella for the time being.

The newborn was rather peaceful today which Ben guessed was because of the medication they had put her on. She wasn't in an incubator and she wasn't as ill as the other newborns in this room which was a good sign. Technically she was only in here for observation to check her leg was alright and was going to heal properly so they should be able to take her home in a few days.

The couple stood on the other side of the small box-like bed Ella was laid on, all their eyes focusing on the little girl with bright green eyes that were tiredly looking up at them all.

Ella was too small and too young to have a proper cast on her leg so they had simply decided to put a bandage roll around her leg instead and her arm was still pinned to her chest to keep her collar bone in the right place so it was able to continue healing. But she didn't look ill which was a relief, it made it easier to sit and watch over her when she didn't look sickly or as in a bad health state as the other newborns on this ward.

"Have you seen those vile things on the internet?" Marie's eyes glanced up and locked with (Y/n)'s but her eyes darted between her and Ben with a look of distaste that set (Y/n) on edge and made Ben's stomach drop.

Marie opposed to their relationship because there was almost ten years between (Y/n) and Ben, she was only nineteen. But when (Y/n) got pregnant her mother had tried her best to be civil with Ben because it was clear he wasn't going anywhere and they had been on rather good terms lately. She had gotten along with him because he was a genuinely nice person and easy going.

But if she had read those articles then it was clear she was going to believe them and he dead set against Ben like she had been in the beginning.

"No, why? What things?" (Y/n) turned to look at Ben but the grave expression on his face gave away that he knew something she didn't. "Ben?" She felt his hand tightening around her own as he tried to shake his head to dismiss the subject but Marie seemed to glare at him worse.

"Marie, people know who I am. They get a rise out of making this stuff up, don't believe everything you read on there." Ben was getting to be well known now and that meant that people liked to know every inch of his life and what he did and where he went. If there was gossip to be made out of his life, they would create it at his own expense.

"What things, Ben what have people been saying?" (Y/n) tugged on his hand to get his attention but he didn't look at her.

"They think he's done this to Luella." Marie stated, waving her hand at Ben as her expression said it all. She believed what the internet said but Ben couldn't be sure if it was because she thought he was truly capable of this kind of evil or if it was because she just needed a reason to hate him so (Y/n) would leave him. Either way, she was believing the lies people had spread and Ben couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt in his chest.

"Mum you know he wouldn't do that, Ben would never hurt Ella don't talk about something like that." (Y/n) shook her head as she tried to dismiss the topic she couldn't even bear thinking about. She gently ran her finger over Ella's features but she just knew her mother wasn't going to let this go.

(Y/n) didn't care what was written online and she didn't want to know whatever the internet said. It didn't matter because (Y/n) knew the truth and if people really knew Ben or were real fans of his work then they would believe that he hadn't done anything to hurt Ella.

"Do I? I told you he was bad news and you never-"

"Fuck, mum he's standing right here. Go home... we're going to find the doctor." (Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's arm as he guided them out of the room. Ben wasn't close to Marie so having her turn against him like this wasn't something he was deeply concerned about.

But it hurt all the same that people were now turning against him when they should know that he would never lay a hand on his baby girl.

[saintheartwing]

Invader Zim: The Pigshit Troll,  Part Two

"Well, son, I can tell something's truly bothering you." Professor Membrane remarked as he sat down next to Dib in his room, black-gloved hands folded in his lap, his eyes gazing down through his big, large white goggles…not that you could see them, that glass was thick! "I'd like us to be closer. Please, talk."

"Wow, that's new." Dib thought. His dad outright approaching him pretty much out of nowhere just to talk? "Uh…Dad, when you were young, did people call you names? Bully you? Like…a lot? I'm getting accused of being this horrible online bully that's just TRASHING people's stories on the school website."

"You? Oh, Dib, that sounds so silly! You're slightly whiny, my boy, not a troll."

"…thanks, I guess?" Dib muttered as his Dad ruffled his hair.

"Complaining isn't always a bad thing, Dib. When people were getting sick from the food they bought at their local groceries, it took going to Congress and complaining to the government that the food wasn't right to change things. If we don't point out when something doesn't work, then it won't ever get made better. And sometimes it works! Look at that delightful Sonic movie. I remember when I was young, seeing that trailer drop. My heart sank. My hopes were crushed. But then…then they listened to the outcry, made Sonic look far better, and it was as if I was a child again playing Genesis, hidden away in my closet!" He proclaimed. "Sometimes people listen, sometimes they make changes, and it makes things better. THAT'S the eternal hope of people who complain. That if they say just the right words to the right person at the right time…they'll convince them to be better than they are."

"I'd LIKE to think that." Dib sighed. "But sometimes…I think people just wanna get stuff off their chest."

"Well, that's a human response." His dad told him. "That's normal."

"And sometimes I think people just wanna scream at someone and be heard!"

"That's normal too." Professor Membrane added. "At any rate, I'm not going to tell you to simply get a thicker skin and "buck up". The studies show that doesn't work at all!" He remarked, shaking his head back and forth. "And I'm certainly not going to tell you to retreat into yourself either, or just never go online. No, you need to talk to people about it. Talking always helps, that's what the data shows." He told Dib with a firm, wise, nod. "You can always come to me about this sort of thing, son. I promise you."

"That does make me feel a little better." Dib admitted, his father ruffling his hair before he left the room, a soft warmth spreading through Dib's frame. That HAD been nice, being able to just chat with his Dad. Still…he needed a long term solution. Talking to his father about this sort of thing was pretty much just a band aid.

He needed a more permanent fix. Luckily he knew just who to turn to.

"I need your help."

Gaz couldn't believe what she was hearing. She stared at Dib, mouth agape, eyes wide.

"…YOU…need MY help." She remarked as she stopped playing the latest edition of "Super Smash Bros X Street Fighter", putting the controller down. "…I should call Ripley's Believe it or Not. Rarer than Bigfoot! Rarer than the Loch Ness Monster! Rarer than an actual alien! DIB MEMBRANE ASKING FOR MY HELP." She gave a big, fat, grin. "By the way, that reminds me, guess who was using the belt sander?"

"Wait, Bigfoot's back?!" Dib asked, gaping in surprise. "Is he still there?!" He wanted to know as Gaz led him to the garage door.

"It was never Bigfoot, Dib." She told him.

"Then who was it?"

"CHEWBACCA!" She proclaimed with a grin as, sure enough, a tall, crossbow-blaster-wearing furry alien stood there, black nose a bit ruffled as he finished putting the last touches on his new knife using the belt sander, and cheerily grinned at Gaz, waving at her.

"CHEWIE?!" Dib asked.

"What a Wookie." Gaz sighed. "He's been smuggling me parts for my room security ever since I found him. I can't believe you ever spooked him enough to chase him off, though. What on Earth did you use?"

"Well, evidently wookies are positively terrified of air horns." Dib confessed. "Sorry about that. Must have super sensitive ears, huh?"

"HUUUUHRRRRRUUNNHHH!" Chewie agreed, exiting the garage as Dib sighed and turned to Gaz.

"So can you help me track down that troll?" He wanted to know.

"I dunno…" Gaz rubbed her chin. "I mean, I don't like getting bad reviews left on my stories either, but it is KINDA funny to see you squirming and under so much scrutiny." She confessed. "And you can't just move away or anything. Even if you did, if more reviews popped up trashing people's work, they would just all assume it's still you. Other countries got internet, after all. Unless you were literally tied to a pole and couldn't TYPE, people would just assume you're still at it."

"You're all heart!" Dib grumbled.

"Hey, you wanted help, I'm giving you the truth. That's just how people feel, you can be a really condescending asshole." Gaz said. "You ain't no perfect little angel."

"As opposed to being a REGULAR asshole like you or Zim?" Dib said, his temper flaring up, Gaz looking astounded that Dib was actually talking back to her. "And I've never CLAIMED to be an angel, Gaz, I…I KNOW I can be kind of…pushy. Obsessive compulsive. And I know I can be…insensitive to what other people think and…okay yeah! Yeah, I can be a jerk!" He threw his hands in the air and sighed. "But I'm doing something literally no other kid has to do!" He paced around, shaking his head back and forth. "No OTHER kid has to put up with trying to stop an alien lunatic that's not just a megalomaniac and psychotic alien but somebody outright sadistic and evil and petty and manipulative and a total jerk! On a pretty much daily basis! And half the time he almost succeeds at what he does, and if I don't stop him, people DIE! That's…that is WAY too much to put on someone not old enough to shave!" Dib told Gaz.

"…yeah, I'll give you that one." Gaz sighed.

"But I'm the only one who gets shit on. Nobody at school criticizes you because you'll beat the crap out of them. You got those freaky powers and everything! Even the teachers are scared of you! Zim? Zim gets off because people see me trying to expose him and they think I'm bullying him unfairly! Even though every day he's always up to something horrible! Literally! Every day! I shouldn't have to deal with him, OR the stuff I get from you and my classmates and now all of this with people thinking I'm not just nutty for liking stuff they think is strange, but that I'm some rotten troll!"

"Maybe Zim is the troll." Gaz suggested.

Dib stopped in mid-spiel, and he gaped at her. "…that's…not baaaaad!" He murmured. "That IS the kinda thing he'd do! Framing me for something HE'S done! And when he wants to, he can be really fiendishly clever…" He paced back and forth. "But we need to check. Is there any way to check?" He murmured. "Could we trace his IP address?"

"We could if we hack into the school's computer system, and from there, we can access where the reviews got posted. But while you do that, I'm going to go call a…friend." She remarked, nonchalantly making her way off to her room as Dib raced for his, to begin his hard work. Gaz slid on into her chair in her room, typing into a little keyboard built into the armrest, and PING! A vid screen manifested before her, and a short, tubby Irken was on the other end.

Skoodge, Zim's…friend. Though given how he treated him, you'd think Skoodge was more of a servant. When they went to go get snacks and drinks, it was Skoodge who had to carry everything. When Zim wanted something moved, he got Skoodge to do it and never thanked him. And when it came to the food…

"You see, I can't stand eating anything day-old. So its only fair I make up for it in other ways!" Zim was insisting even now to Skoodge from the other end of the basement, leaving Skoodge with the day old donuts while Zim stuffed his face. Skoodge quietly sighed, shaking his head, and then turned to the screen on his computer station, seeing he had an incoming message, and turning it on.

"Ah, Gaz. How're you?" He asked. Gaz smiled back at him. Skoodge was very eager to please, easy to manipulate but, still…compared to most Irkens, he was a civil, nice sort. Conquering planets or the like was just a job to him, it wasn't personal, and he didn't seem to take any real delight in being a jerk the way Zim did, or Tak did. Besides, he also happened to find Gaz attractive. It was the purple hair. For some reason, Irkens looooved the color purple.

"Hey, Skoodge, I need a favor. Has Zim been bragging about being the troll at school leaving all those awful, sick reviews?" Gaz wanted to know.

"Oh, no. But he's loving seeing Dib go to pieces." Skoodge remarked. "It's really mean. He can't stop laughing uncontrollably whenever the topic gets brought up. He said he wishes he'd thought of it, it's so simple and evil a plan that it should have been his plan."

Gaz had to admit that she'd been pleasantly surprised to find Skoodge so agreeable. She'd gone gaming with him, playing online, and she'd grown to learn a lot about him, and also, in return, about Irkens, and it astounded her how much they really had in common with humans. After all, her leaders were also lazy, egotistic, smug jerks who liked hurting people for not being good enough, who forced you into bad jobs that paid barely anything, and thought they were a lot smarter and better than they really were!

And they also placed an emphasis on being tall too. Nobody really respected a short President Man!

Truly, two species joined at the hip without knowing it.

"Thanks, Skoodge. I appreciate it. You're really sure it isn't him, huh? Maybe…it's a long shot but…is GIR doing it? I mean, sometimes GIR gets up to weird things with Minimoose and the Computer."

"GIR has pretended to be a girl online, but he'd never be sadistic enough to leave those kind of messages." Skoodge remarked with a shake of his head.

This was true. The new MMO that came out, "Portal Defenders", a massive crossover game indeed, had come out about five months back and Skoodge had gotten super into it, and he'd been, along with Gaz, very surprised to find a very willing girl character who played as the one and only XJ9 from "My Life As A Teenage Robot" eager to help them. They'd gone on many a raid together and much to their delight, she'd proven invaluable…and also proven to be GIR.

Still, hey. It was a valid life choice. Fine by him.

"Hmm. So much for that. It's not you, is it?"

"No way!" Skoodge insisted. "I get my stories crapped on because I exclusively write fetish material. I'm VERY into macrophilia."

"Yeah, I always wanted to ask, how come you're so into big, huge stories with the rampages or the giants or the big aliens stomping around or eating people? It's kinda odd." Gaz admitted. "I mean, I'm into super metal stuff, I like weird things too, but I always wanted to ask…"

This was true. Skoodge also attended the school in disguise, the same grade as Gaz, and he actually had a lot of talent too. But he reaaaaally enjoyed writing stories with big monsters and aliens. Time after time, they'd be leveling cities or whole towns or some rando would end up becoming a big beast that gobbled up his coworkers or the like. Occasionally he even dived deeper and entire planets would be broken apart or devoured! It was well written, without a doubt, engaging, but it could get…kinda scary.

"Well…I'm short and fat and not the least bit threatening." Skoodge sighed. "Look at me. I'm a tubby loser." He murmured as he picked up his fat gut and shook it about. "But in these stories, I can be anything. I can be big, and powerful, wonderful and terrible all at once. Everyone loves me and fears me all at once. I kinda felt like that right after I conquered Blorch, and the Slaughtering Rat People…until the Tallest shot me outta the closet and another Invader took the credit for my work."

"Wish fulfillment, huh?" Gaz sighed. "Hey, y'know, I get it. I mean, it's why I keep watching "The Craft" or "Carrie" all the time, I'd love to do the kinda things those girls do in those films. Just let loose, y'know?"

"Yeah, sometimes you just gotta feed that wolf that's howling outside your door. Besides, the guidance counselor said it's a good way for me to deal with my more unpleasant urges by expressing them in a creative way." Skoodge added with a smile. "And it's worked! Putting all this on paper made me work through my thoughts and feelings and I began to realize how rotten my species are. We're just the literal worst. Did you know we executed the last artist we had on Irk because he refused to stop drawing propaganda?"

"That sounds dickish."

"It WAS! He said art should be about more than convincing people to blow stuff up. Then they blew him up. A bunch of pieces of him evidently got on Tallest Miyuki when she was in her Invader training, and that's why she decided to tone down the imperialistic tendencies of the Empire…for all the good it did us once Red and Purple came around." Skoodge sighed. "It's too bad, I missed working alongside the Vortians in the labs, those were good years." He confessed.

"Thanks for the help, Skoodge. Keep an eye on Zim for me, wouldja? Good to chat with you again. See you around!" Gaz told him, giving Skoodge a deliberate wink, then shutting the screen off as he sighed softly.

"Anything for you…" He murmured.

Dib meanwhile, had broken into the school system and was looking at various reviews left under people's stories. Hmm, this one was from Gaz-oh. OH! He hadn't seen this before. She was taking umbrage at how the character…an obvious stand-in for her, was portrayed. After all, she had a rough upbringing too, with Professor Membrane never around and yes, when Dib had been younger, he'd done a couple experiments on her. It had actually been what turned her hair purple, and he deeply regretted it, though she'd said she actually ended up LIKING her hair turning that way.

Dib cringed as he read the review. He got that she wanted to see herself as the hero, but…c'mon, Gaz. "I'M the one literally putting my life on the line just about every day, you're playing Game Slave and stuffing your face with pizza, I think I deserve a bit more understanding than you do." He muttered. She came off as so…entitled here!

Oh, and now a new review. "You should be nicer to Zim. He's got mental health issues."

"So do I, but I don't go around trying to destroy planets and enslave people." Dib muttered. "Zim isn't just insane. He's evil. Jesus. Why are there so many Stans for Zim? They all keep thinking he's being picked on when I'm the one who almost always gets it the worst…"

He cringed, stopping himself. "Stop it, Dib. No more pity parties. No more self-flagellating. You gotta focus." He murmured, examining the reviews, scrolling, scrolling. A lot of the troll reviews had been taken down by the teachers because they'd gotten sick of it too, but-wait. A new one. "ReVIEW MY STORiES! YOUR SToRiES ARE PIGSHIT!"

Ah ha. He had the IP address. His fingers swiftly moved across the keyboard, typing rapidly, his eyes widening as he saw where it came from.

It couldn't be. But…

The address was Membrane Labs.

His father's workplace.

What…the…fuuuuuuuck?

[fearlessswiftielaura13]

20 lessons I’ve learned before turning 20

According to my birth certificate, I’m turning 20 this year. Although some of the people I know would argue that I’m still five in my heart and others say I’m mature beyond my years. Who knows how old I really should be? Throughout the two decades, I’ve learned some very important things. These are far from all the things I need to know about life. When it comes to knowing how to do this very complicated task called living, I’m still a child that’s trying to walk and falling all over the place. And that’s okay. You live to learn, and you learn to live.

LESSON ONE: You more than likely won’t ever have everything figured out and it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to ask for help and there are no such things as stupid questions. You don’t need to be a know-it-all by 20, 30, 57, you don’t have to know (or pretend to know) everything even when you’re 80.

LESSON TWO: If you want a relationship…stop looking for a relationship. I know, I know. Sounds condescending. Throughout my teenage years I’ve had 10+ crushes and none of them turned into a relationship. The second I stopped trying, well, you all know what happened. That being said…

LESSON THREE: It is perfectly normal and okay to date or crush around when you’re a teenager. You don’t need to if you don’t want to, and I advise that you don’t deliberately try to, but it’s okay to have a new crush every two months. You are a teenager. Your hormones are complete and utter whack. You do you, boo, nobody can judge you.

LESSON FOUR: Not everyone is going to love you or even like you, no matter what you do. That is okay. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.

LESSON FIVE: It is never, NEVER too late to start doing something. I typed this lesson idea...at a gym. Yup. Finally decided to get my shit together, after 11 years of being as chubby as a teddy bear and only after my hip started screaming at me for not doing anything to keep fit. That brings me to…

LESSON SIX: It does not matter how skinny or chubby or whatever you are. Beauty is superficial. You can paint a new face on in an hour if you don’t like your current one. You can’t paint on a good personality though. Be good, damn it.

LESSON SEVEN: All that being said, don’t ever change anything about yourself because someone else told you to. The only person that has been and will always be with you is you. People change, love fades, friends leave. A troll on the internet told you to lose 10 kilos? You will more than likely never meet them again. Does it still seem relevant? Do it for yourself, not for a „shit, you got hot“. Or, better yet, say it to yourself. Every day. Because you are bomb af and I don’t give a shit what anyone else has to say.

LESSON EIGHT: You CAN love your studies. That’s right. You can love learning. All you have to do is do what YOU want to do. Not what mommy, daddy, granny said. I still get remarks about how I might not be able to do my job to the fullest because I can’t walk very long distances. Guess what, I’m still in university for journalism studies and nobody can’t force me to leave, even if they try. Because I want it. Because I chose to do it.

LESSON NINE: You. Can. Do. ANYTHING. I was never supposed to walk and guess what, look at me now. I couldn’t do math for sh*t, I despised it with all my heart and I still passed my math exam. I thought that I would never see Taylor Swift in real life. I. DID. And there are so many things that maybe I don’t think I could ever do as of right now, that I will do in five, ten, twenty years. Only because I don’t think about them as something I would even attempt yet.

LESSON TEN: What is meant to happen, will happen. Destiny is real. Yeah, we make the choices that we make, so you could say that our destiny is in our own hands, but I personally have encountered a very specific case of choice making that makes sense only in the long run. When you look at the specific choices that this person made separately and the circumstances of it all, it makes little to no sense. But now when I look back, I realize that it was all supposed to happen. Don’t kill your braincells over that failed math test (see, it haunts me, I have nightmares), it will be fine. Relax. Breathe. You’ll come out through the other side, most likely undamaged.

LESSON ELEVEN: Your hobbies matter. Your interests are not stupid. If it makes you happy and it does no harm to other people, do it. I had a dream for 10 years and it came true a year ago ONLY because I stuck with this curly headed blonde with a guitar for the last decade. I happy cried for weeks leading up to and after that one. I found friends for life because of fandoms and I love it. There’s a chance of me working as an entertainment journalist, all because I love concerts so damn much.

LESSON TWELVE: Stand for what you believe in. Always. If we all stop standing up for the minorities and unpopular opinions, many people will suffer. It is our responsibility, as people to stand up for the weaker. You have voice for a reason. Use it, speak on what you care about. The worst that could happen is people disagreeing with you. After all, those that disagree and have their arguments, lead to a discussion and discussions are good and those who just yell for the sake of being loud…do they really matter?

LESSON THIRTEEN: This is a really big one. You live once. So live the only life that you’re given to the fullest and you better have something to tell your grandchildren. I pretty much broke the door of Siemens arena trying to get front row at the Bastille gig when I was 16 years old and I don’t regret it. My idol drove me home from his own concert, ONLY because of a joke that one of my friends that was there spoke with her own mouth. I got to see the reality of one of the biggest star’s in Lithuania job and hear an unreleased track that later became a huge hit only because we went ahead and did something absolutely psychotic. I packed my bags and flew to London two days after my last exam just because there could’ve never been another chance. I grabbed the last ticket to a gig in the ENTIRE STADIUM only because I decided that I want it. Do it. Just make sure it’s legal so you don’t get in actual trouble.

LESSON FOURTEEN: You will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you know who your real friends are. Things and people change over time, you may become distant with someone you never thought you’d become distant with. Yeah, you thought you’d be friends forever, I get it. I know it’s hard to grasp. But honey, life happens and that’s okay. Someone you loved with all of your heart may do you so dirty that you’ll never want to see them again. You have every right to do so.

LESSON FIFTEEN: Your views will change over time. Be it political stance, ethical shift, anything. As long as that change happens based on research, learning and growth, I see it as something that should be encouraged and celebrated. Do your research. Educate yourself. Learn something new every day.

LESSON SIXTEEN: Be interested in politics. Vote. You’ll more than likely will live in a country you’re in at least for the next few years. I say, the future should be important to every citizen of every country. Put your input into saving the planet. If you have kids someday, they will live in the world we create now.

LESSON SEVENTEEN: Resist the urge to fight hate with hate. You will not always agree with people. People will not always agree with you. That doesn’t mean you should fight with someone who is hating on something you believe in. They will learn someday, if they want to learn. The truth is, they most likely don’t, and you trying to school them won’t really change much.

LESSON EIGHTEEN: Dream! Dream huge, dream impossible. Have ambitions larger than life itself. And never, you hear me, never let other people’s opinions knock you down. If you work hard enough, you can achieve anything you want, regardless of what anyone else has to say (refer to lesson number nine). That being said, see you at BBC World in 15 years. Or if I stay here, LRT. We’ll see, I don’t know that much about my future yet. The only thing I know is that nothing can stop me from going hard or going home.

LESSON NINETEEN: You do not have to fit into a mold. You are human, not a piece of clay. You like Disney? Cool! K-pop? Great! You’re a metalhead and you would dress all black in the summer if you had enough of black clothes? Awesome! What if you are all of those things and also a feminist animal right activist who loves pop music and writing? Congratulations, you are just like me. Let��s be friends and leave people confizzled together.

LESSON TWENTY: You are NEVER too old for Disney. That’s it. That’s the lesson. You are never too old for some Disney magic. Here, let me sprinkle some pixie dust on you. Done. You will now have a great day.

P.S. An additional lesson: never, I repeat, NEVER trust @taylorswift. She is always on to something.

[anhed-nia]

THE EMOJI MOVIE

I've actually tried to watch this several times, and never made it past the first twenty minutes or so. The whole concept--that emojis inside a boy's phone struggle for survival when their glitchy antics provoke him to try to wipe the device--is so uninspired that it was hard for me to imagine it even being kitschy enough to justify watching the whole thing. However, since its release (only a year ago, but isn't it starting to feel like it's been with us forever?), THE EMOJI MOVIE has become so notorious that suffering through it feels like some sort of rite of passage. As of this morning, I can say with absolute certainty that this experience is actually much worse than you probably think it is.

I don't even want to get that much into the "plot", but for the sake of whatever: TJ Miller is a "meh" emoji by birth, who is secretly plagued by a full spectrum of emotions. When he is classified as a "malfunction", in a series of repetitive arguments that sound uncomfortably like they're just barely skirting "the R word", Meh goes on the run to avoid destruction by his fellow emoji, who need to manage this crisis before their user erases all of them.

If that is like...not very heroic-sounding to you, then you're hearing me right. THE EMOJI MOVIE is I guess about being yourself or something, but the details of Meh's adventure are so outlandishly stupid that it's hard to even worry about the moral of the story. To my apoplectic shock, our hero's escape from peril is totally dependent on Dropbox. That's almost all you need to know about this movie, actually: That it requires you to somehow reimagine a collaborative file management product as the Millennium Falcon, or Dorothy's ruby slippers, or something. Even if I were able to accept this proposal, it still remains beyond me why a tween boy would have Dropbox on his phone. I mean, is he going to Project Management Junior High or something?

Of course, this is only one example of THE EMOJI MOVIE's inability to produce exciting, easy-to-understand ideas. It may not be surprising, on paper, that an unwieldy chunk of the story involves a loud advertisement for the money-grubbing mobile game Candy Crush. However, it's still jarring when the movie has the sheer nerve to insert its characters into a 3D version of the very-2D Candy Crush board, have them discuss the rules and mechanics of Candy Crush at length, and then have them actually play Candy Crush, in a scene that really accomplishes nothing other than exactly what is on the screen while it lasts. The audacity of the thing makes the McDonald's breakdancing sequence in MAC & ME look downright subtle.

The aforementioned scene should really be enough to sink basically any cinematic ship, but THE EMOJI MOVIE doesn't settle for less than 100% failure. Almost everything in it is so poorly considered that there isn't enough time in my life to get through it all, but I have to get *some* things off my chest. I mean, how the fuck do you take a concept like this, and decide that a whole bunch of your movie should involve DANCING? How can you possibly ask me to look at a bunch of Pac-Mans with little rudimentary limbs, and expect me to be able to tell that SOME of them are really good dancers and SOME of them are really shitty dancers, and ALL OF THE SUSPENSE hinges on this distinction? And while we're talking about physical activity, what are even the rules of this world? Apps are both giant monolithic cubes, like they are on your home screen, that can slide around and crush you between their unyielding walls, and they are ALSO little subdimensions that you can enter (not that we really see how this works) and dick around in. "Internet trolls" are somehow not separate human users, but technological entities that exists inside the world of the phone, right alongside junk mail and computer viruses. And speaking of junk, like, why is the phone owner deleting individual apps WHILE he's on his way to a Genius Bar to get the whole device reset? What the fuck is going on in any part of this movie?

While I'm talking about how ~completely~ disastrous this movie is, though, I should admit that maybe I blew past the plot too quickly. The most remarkable thing about THE EMOJI MOVIE is that it manages to be so fathomlessly moronic, AND so majestically pretentious at the same time. There is something interestingly perverse about the idea of taking humanity's most vapid, dehumanized linguistic development, and using it as some kind of allegory for the supremacy of emotion, and the prismatic nature of the soul. It's disturbing, actually. On the one hand, the movie cannot resist advertising for office products and parasitic IAP-driven games, and all of its ostensible charm is predicated on the viewer's preexisting familiarity with fun icons for human shit and compressed fish byproducts. On the other hand, the movie makes a big deal out of identifying the fascism inherent in controlling how people express themselves, and confining their potential to the dictates of their heritage. At some point the movie even drags in some shallow commentary on the tyranny of gender roles, with a subplot about a "princess" emoji rejecting the few, oppressively girly options for females of the species--just in case there were any audience members left who didn't feel personally condescended to yet.

At this point, you might be wondering why I even bothered to write all this down, having already suffered the unnecessary indignity of watching the thing. The truth is that I have an insatiable curiosity about the psychology of productions like this. When I see something so abjectly catastrophic, I start to have enthralling nightmare visions about what it must have been like to make this movie. Especially considering the fact that it is animated: At what point did people begin to realize that something really bad was happening? Who noticed it first? Was there a protracted period of convincing oneself that everything was going to be fine, or did the darkness sink in at the very beginning? What happened when the movie came out? Have all of the actors even see the whole thing? How did they manage their social lives when it started to become common, international knowledge that they had participated in the creation of one of the worst movies in the visible history of the medium? Does one lose relationships over a movie like this, either among friends who don't know how to address it, or comrades who can't stand the slightest reminder of what they've been through? I am completely entranced by my own fantasies about what happens with movies like this. I would happily watch a documentary about the making of THE EMOJI MOVIE, or better yet, some sort of distorted psychodrama about the emotional environment of the production. Somebody get Peter Strickland on the blower.

PS Mike White, I am so, so sorry. What happened to you?

[modelnienke]

Don't tell me to calm down

I started writing this a little while ago but it got stuck in my drafts folder. Still relevant though, unfortunately. 

Ah the internet! A constant stream of shit and support, especially on instagram (I'm not very active on twitter). 

So I get some trolls every now and then, who will comment things like "You should lose 10-15 pounds, I think I'd like you better). This was my answer. 

Ah @fernandow30... That's all I've got for you 🖕 There's always some guy who thinks I give a crap whether or not he likes me. I really don't🤷‍♀️😂 But seriously, if anyone ever tells you that you need to change for them to like you more, flick the bird and leave! They are so not worth your time💀💩

A post shared by Nienke (@nienkevdpeet) on Apr 1, 2017 at 5:31am PDT

Then comes the follow up. A lot of people (mainly women) saying "you tell em" and "slay". Which I really appreciate. It's beautiful so see people supporting each other.

Then a discussion will ensue (mainly between men) that I do care, otherwise I wouldn't post it on my instagram. To which I say, "I don't care about his opinion of me, I do care that he thinks it's ok to speak to women (or people for that matter) like that".

And that's why I speak out. And put it on my insta. Because there is a strange internet culture where people will say things to each other that they wouldn't say to their face.  

Why? On the receiving end of that nasty message is a human being. So treat them with respect. One guy left a creepy "I wan't to make passionate, hot, sweaty love to you". I called him out and he said the reason why he posted it was because I had posted a picture of myself in lingerie. He said he would never say that to a woman face-to-face because he had respect for her and because the women in "real life" would not dress like that. 

So it's all my fault for posting a picture of lingerie. Because he can't control himself and respect a woman regardless of what she wears.... Where have we heard that argument before? 

So I told him that it was a sad situation where he was blaming women for his creepy comments because he couldn't control himself. 

His response: "You know what young lady, I usually do not compromise what I believe in. I have no problem with you, or with what u wear.... especially if it makes you feel good, and boost you self-esteem , and confidence. So with that said, I apologize for making a remark that offended you, and hope you accept my deepest apology. Cause at the end of the day I am a man first, and can admit when I am wrong, especially when someone feelings are hurt as I have hurt you. I will never cross that line again. Hope all is forgiven between us, and that I can remain giving you compliments with your consent. Take care"

Now overall I'd say, hurray! It's nice that someone actually listens and realises that maybe he did cross the line. But why I why does he have to start with "young lady". It is the most condescending thing ever! The inclusion of the "young lady" makes it hard to take this as a genuine apology. 

That and the fact that he still to this day leaves sexual comments on my pictures. I do on occasion block people but not very often. Mainly because I would rather engage in a conversation to see if someone's perspective might be changed. 

 Troll seeking attention

Some people tell me that I should just ignore all the trolls and misogynistic men. Because that's all they want, attention. 

I think that's the case for some of them, but not all. Some genuinely seem to think that their way of addressing women is acceptable. It is not. 

Someone left a comment on one of my pictures saying "I hope she gets raped." I went into his profile and this is a high school kid. If even. He looks like he's 14 years old. When a kid behaves like that, what kind of man will he grow into? 

If someone would do that in the street I would speak out. So why wouldn't I do it online?

But still, you get responses like "calm down sweetheart. Not worth it. You are gorgeous and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise". 

This guy means well. However, don't tell me to calm down and refer to me as "sweetheart". Condescending again. First of all, I'm not about to jump off a building. I am speaking out against trolls and bullies. I applaud anyone who does that. Why do we just need to take it? Second of all, he's telling me to "not let anyone tell me otherwise". Which is exactly what I'm doing. Though he doesn't seem to get that. 

I applaud anyone who speaks up, whether or not it's online or in the "real" world. Our society is what we make of it.

That is why I will continue to call out bad behaviour.