#the iron might plot killed all my enthusiasm

[boomboombakugou]

can i request like shoto, bakugou, and midoriya meeting their girlfriend’s ex boyfriend. but like she’s still good friends with him. i wanna see some jealous bakugou 🤗 sorry if this doesn’t make sense ,:)

this is so fun omg

Big 3’s Reactions to Meeting Your Ex that You’re Still Friends With

Pairs: Midoriya x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Todoroki x Reader

Warnings: swearing

~Izuku Midoriya~

Midoriya loves going out. Going shopping with you, going to the movies with you, going to get food with you. He says that you already spend so much time at UA, so going out is fun.

You don’t mind. You just love spending time with him. He heard about this new ice cream place opening up just a few blocks away. You guys planned to walk their after school.

“I heard they have like cotton candy flavor. Which sounds kinda gross, but people have different tastes.” He blabbed the whole way there. He always sounded so anxious yet excited about everything. His voice is one of your favorite things around him.

You get to the building and hear a family voice, “Y/N? Oh my god- Y/N is that you?” You turn around and see him. Kai. You’re ex boyfriend from before you even went to UA.

You guys also dated a while, while you attended, but the distance became too much and it just didn’t work out. You remained friends because you had been friends for so long before that, and you wouldn’t let this ruin it.

You had told Kai about how you and Midoriya were planning to come here, but that’s all you did. You just told him. You didn’t invite him or anything.

“What are you doing here?” You ask confused. He claims he was just “passing by” but he lives nowhere near here. You’ve known him long enough to know when he was lying and he was.

Deku asks who he is. He seems more excited than he does worried tho. You explain to him that Kai is just a childhood friend who you still keep in touch with sometimes.

Kai wraps his arm around your shoulder, “And ex boyfriend. Yeah we had a thing. We were each others first loves.” He says giddily. You sigh and scoot away, causing his arms to drop.

You saw Midoriya’s face drop, but it quickly went back to a smile. He was faking it. “O-oh. That’s nice! And you guys still keep in touch? Wow that- that’s nice. How coincidental that you’re here too.” He squeaks out, hand scratching his neck.

You stand uncomfortably. Kai is just smiling and not giving a single care in the world about how awkward he just made things. “Come on! We’re here to get ice cream right!” He says, ignoring Midoriya but inviting him at the same time.

You stay back and try to tell Kai that you don’t want to. This was your special time with Midoriya. Midoriya widens his fake smile, “No! It’s fine. Let’s go. Y- you guys can uh- you can catch up! I don’t uh.. and I third wheeling or? We could all three go in.” You knew he didn’t want to. He was so uncomfortable, but he just didn’t want to dismiss your old childhood friend because he doesn’t want to make you sad.

You sigh as Kai grabs your arm and drags you into the shop. Midoriya following behind. You order your stuff and sit down at a table.

Midoriya tries to speak first but Kai overlaps him, “So you guys are dating? Weird. I never saw you to end up with the... you know- him, type” Midoriya laughed. Awkwardly.

“W- what’s the me type?” He tried to make it seem like he was joking, but you could tell he was genuinely curious and worried.

When you and Kai were dating, you would always talk about how you could never date a “nice guy” or a “good guy.” You didn’t use to want to be a hero. In reality though, Midoriya is your perfect match. You don’t want to be with guys who can’t take anything serious or are super selfish. You love that Midoriya wants to help people. He inspires you.

“Oh you know.. crybabies. ‘I wanna be a hero’ type beat.” Kai mocked. He squeezed your eyes tight. Why did he have to show up. Midoriya’s eyes dimmed, “Oh.... yeah. Haha.”

You looked at your phone and pretended to be shocked, “Oh! Wow would you look at that. Momo just texted me. Special hero training starting in 5 minutes. Gotta go. Come on Izuku.” He looked confused because he knew you didn’t have anything to do today, but complied without question.

You didn’t even say goodbye to Kai. You just left in a hurry.

The walk back was silent. His enthusiasm was gone. “Izuku. I’m so sorry about Kai. The whole crybaby thing was so unnecessary. I don’t know why he showed up. I’ll stop talking to him.” You said softly.

He half smiled, “No it’s okay. That’s your friend. I don’t wanna ruin your friendship. You’ve known him longer than me.” You could hear the pain in his voice on the last line.

He sighed and took out your phone.

• Y/N: don’t ever talk ab Izuku like that again. Don’t contact me anymore xoxo

And just like that, you blocked him. Midoriya protested but you assured him that it wasn’t his fault. Kai was problematic and you didn’t want him in your life anyway. This was just the last straw.

“We can go back tomorrow. Maybe I’ll try cotton candy.” You say as you get back to the campus.

~Katsuki Bakugou~

UA was hosting a little “party” for any students who were interested in attending next year. As the spotlight class of the year, Class 1-A was assigned to the welcoming booths.

Luckily, You got paired up with Bakugou. He didn’t want to do it at all, but was less mad when he found out you guys would be together.

Basically all you had to do was greet the people and answer any questions they had. Pretty boring, but you didn’t mind. You liked new people.

After like 20 minutes of greeting and answering, you heard your name being my called. A fingers got closer and closer in the distance and the voice got louder.

“Hey Y/N. I was looking all around for you.” He said out of breath. You were confused, “Kian? What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were thinking of applying here.” Bakugou stared at both of you. He looked so annoyed.

Before he could even respond, Bakugou interrupted, “Who are you?” he always sounded so intimidated. Kian wasn’t easily intimidated tho. He always stood there with a goofy smile like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“I am Y/N’s ex boyfriend. We had a pretty big thing. Each other’s first loves. Whatever, no biggie. Don’t be getting all sweaty by my presence.” Kian said, leaning into the booth.

Bakugou scoffed, “Nothing about you makes me nervous. Run along.” Kian laughed and said he had questions about the school. You rubbed your forehead. You could tell when he was plotting something. And he was.

Bakugou gave him a blank glare. “So... who was that guy they chained up that the sports festival? I got second hand embarrassment through the screen. Weird-o.” Kai mocked.

You could feel Bakugou getting warmer next to you. “Katsuki. Please just-” You started.

Kian cut you off, “Oh! This is Katsuki? Bakugou? Yikes Y/N. What a downgrade. How are you not embarrassed walking around with him?” He always made things seem like a joke

Shut your fucking mouth extra! Don’t call me Katsuki! You’re nothing, but an insignificant speck in society! Talk to me when you’re a real fucking hero.” Bakugou snapped.

Kian backed up in fake intimidation. “Woah calm down boom boom boy. The Leauge of Villians might here and kidnap you again.” He said.

You could hear, see, feel, and TASTE bakugou’s anger rising. He grabbed the guy by his collar and shoved him against the wall, “I’ll blow your ass into shreads if you say one more fucking word to me or my girlfriend. I’m not afraid to kill you.”

You knew he wasn’t. All Kian did was smile, but he was scared. You could tell.

Bakugou’s hands lit up red. He was still holding the boy.

“What the hell!” Bakugou yelled as his quirk was erased. There Mr. Aizawa stood. On the other side of the room. You slapped your hands over your face in embarrassment.

Kian looked over at you with as he faked holding in a laugh. “Bakugou. Go to your dorm.” He dropped Kian, slightly throwing him, and stormed off. Kian was on the floor, still with the goofy expression.

“Tough crowd?” He tried. You rolled your eyes and ignored him then tailed bakugou back to his room.

You didn’t bother to knock, but Bakugou didn’t acknowledge you as you walked in. You say beside him on the bed quietly.

“Why the hell are you still talking to him? I could beat his ass in 5 second if i wanted to.” He yelled breaking the silence.

You sighed, “He’s... I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I’m never gonna talk to him again after this. What an ass.” Bakugou looked at you. He was angry, but also relieved that you weren’t still in love with Kian.

He asked why you never told him about Kian since he was your “first love.” You didn’t answer for a while, trying to come up with the proper response.

“Why would I? You’re the one in my life now. You’re the one I’m with and the only one I want to be with. He’s not important. The only reason we still talked was because we were childhood friends. In all honesty though, I’ve wanted to cut ties with him for a while. This is a perfcet ending.”

Bakugou scoffed again, “If you say so. I could totally kill him if I wanted to.”

“Yes you could.” You responded.

~Shoto Todoroki~

You and Todoroki were out shopping for snacks for a little end of semester party. He was assigned to get it, but he didn’t know what everyone liked, so he asked you to come.

Right as you were about to check out, you heard a voice call him. “Yo! Are you Endeavor’s son?” The voice called, as it got closer.

“I am Shoto Todoroki. Son of En-” He started, but the boy gasped. “Y/N! Along time no see.” It was Shoyo (ironic right?), your old childhood friend/ ex boyfriend.

You checked in on eachother maybe once or twice a month. You hadn’t told him about you and Todoroki. He knew you were in the same class, but not that you were dating.

“Wow! You never told me you were friends with Endeavor’s son.” Shoya exclaimed. “I am Shoto Todoroki; Son of Endeavor. Please refer to me as Shoto Todoroki though. I’ve pacing my own path.” He finished.

Shoyo’s eyes widened in amusement as he laughed at him. Truth is, you didn’t really like Shoyo. You had a good time in the past, but now you just found him annoying and you were pretty sure he still liked you.

“Okay, come on babe. It was nice seeing you Shoyo.” You tried to move along, but he stopped you guys. “Woah! ‘babe? You guys are dating? Remember when we dated Y/N? Wow. I did not think you’d fall for such a bland guy. Must be in it for the title. You know since he’s Endeavor’s son. Shoto Todoroki.” He said, mocking Todoroki at the end.

Todoroki stood in place. You exhaled heavily. Why did this have to happen right now. “So what’s it like? You know? beint the son of one of the like least friendly heroes ever? Seriously bro- I would never wanna be a hero if my parent was already one. You’re basically set for life already.”

Todoroki stood in silence, thinking of which question to answer first. “I’m not like my father. I want to become a hero for my own reasons. Is this the end of the questioning? We have to get back to school.”

There was a little bit of tone, which you were happy for. Todoroki’s bluntness always made him intimidating for others. Before Shoyo had another chance to speak, you scooted away.

“Oh. Well bye! Tell Endeavor I said hi!” He yelled from behind. Todoroki looked back and glared at him.

(A/N: okay sorry Shoto’s is so like- short and kinda boring. I feel like he wouldn’t really let things get under his skin, and if they did, he wouldn’t blow up or shut down like Katsuki and Deku. Anyways, great request!)

[myketheartista]

Do you think if a fan reasonably listed their dislikes and concerns with rvb zero, Fiona, Torrian, or literally anyone else would still come back and light a fire under them? (fiona’s comments have made me a bit annoyed but it’s understandable since some of the comments from fans have been stupid)

Because it’s not about “if it’s not your thing, sorry, you don’t have to watch it. It’s for other people!” It’s about the actual issues in the show that I feel like...the writers aren’t recognizing? And this isn’t me hating on the show really, I’m just confused if they notice the flaws?

This is probably turning into a long post so I apologize in advance, and if it does turn into some sort of hate-rant, I apologize for that too, but I’m mostly just letting my thoughts out on things I’ve noticed that aren’t sitting well with me—and SPOILERS for the new episode if you aren’t a first member, but-

———— sorry I’m on mobile idk how to do a read more if it’s possible

I think I’m allowed to get angry that they killed Tucker. Because even if it’s a fake out and they’re pulling another season 12 where we all thought he was gonna die after Felix stabbed him (because the situation was actually taken seriously and the atmosphere is what assisted the blow in comparison to rvb0’s not-so-great pacing skills) EVEN if it’s a fake out, it’s a shitty thing to do. I don’t care if it comes down to “oh, well Jason was the only one of the OG cast available and bringing back Tucker makes sense because of his weapon” you’re going to 1.) bring back a beloved character we’ve had for 17 years. 2.) KILL said character 3.) probably do it for dramatics and he’ll actually be okay because why would you kill off a memorable character 4.) god, not to mention, and this could just be me being extra bitter, but you killed him off in such a boring way? I know the guy is an idiot, a sim trooper thrown into a war he was never apart of with no fighting skills at all, but it’s Tucker. Make the guy go out in style.

I said the same thing about Carolina and how they’re doing her a disservice. Even though she had began to grow annoying to me in previous seasons (shisno paradox to be exact), I was still ecstatic to see her just like anyone else! Her and Wash! And I’m NOT her creator and I’m NOT someone who understands her character to the point where I feel like I have a right to start telling the writers they’re portraying her wrong, but I truly feel like Carolina is not in character at all. I think the constant usage of Wash’s first name is unusual (she even went as far as to CORRECT One??? Wash’s name is a personal thing and throwing it around makes me feel like he isn’t even worthy of respect at this point. I sincerely hope they aren’t using the first name basis thing as an excuse to say oh!! Look at how close her and Wash are!), the completely? normal?? private conversations she’s been having with specifically One (I’m unsure if it’s because Carolina is working with people who aren’t actually idiots this time around so the setting makes her more comfortable, but I don’t see Carolina as an advice-giver or a pep-talker. Maybe I’m so used to hardcore freelancer Lina that I’m brainwashed but these are really throwing me off), and finally— her reaction to Tucker’s death, and excuse me haha, is a fucking joke.

I’m not elaborating on that. I feel like it should be self-explanatory, to be honest. I could even say her reaction sums up MY reaction, but I’m hoping there might be some aftermath stuff, y’know? Then again, I’m praying he’s not dead because, again, what the actual hell?

But aside from me being annoyed by little writing things I’ve noticed, I’m really enjoying the animation and I’m totally into the characters, but who hasn’t said that? That seems to be the only good thing you hear after long posts that speak negatively of the show. I appreciate the enthusiasm and I completely respect others who enjoy it for what it is! I’m also trying to enjoy it from the perspective of a new fan or even someone who just LOVES rvb for what it is (because HEY any rvb satisfies me, I freakin adored the shisno paradox even if it’s hated on for its writing) buuuut the flaws keeps standing out to me whether it’s the unusually fast pacing, the awkward and very over exaggerated movements (because if we’re being honest, what human moves like this? Am I too rude to ask if we can just have someone speaking and bobbing their head but still have them animated like in PFL?), the delivery of lines (meh, sometimes it’s cheesy, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s just too fast!), and the unbelievable amount of “surprising” info I’m given without a cool plot twist or SOMETHING to make me actually give a crap about the characters lives and backstories.

Yeah, it’s probably turned into a hate-rant, haha. But I’m legit curious if Fiona is defending Torrian and hyping up the show simply bc it’s a first-time thing! Great! She’s happy and excited and so proud of the thing they’ve created, who wouldn’t be, but it’s severely disappointing to see something so awesome have so many problems that are making it an unenjoyable experience for me. And maybe that’s just me being someone who criticizes too much...which is ironic considering I’ll praise every episode of rvb because I’m being fed content, I’ll praise ANYTHING rvb RT gives me bc I’m so desperate, but rvb0 is uhhhh it’s not cutting it for me unfortuantely.

MY PASSION FOR RAYMOND LIVES ON THOUGH! I love burger man and I love his funny lines and his relationship with everyone and I love how he’s a goofball. I love lots of things about the show and I still think the cast thing with Carolina was funny :) so sorry if I come off as mean because I’m really trying to not let my love for old rvb get in the way, but I dunno, maybe I really cant accept something new? Or maybe I’m just sad something with potential isn’t doing so great :(

[ultimatetrashgoblin]

Blaire Reviews: Emilio Season 1

Disclaimer: This is all my opinion, you are allowed to disagree with me. I encourage you to read this route and form your own opinions.

First Impressions

The first episode begins with the plot already in motion, the MCs having just arrived at the Society meeting. Emilio makes his enthusiasm about the Society well known almost immediately.

FMC is wary of getting involved with the Society and tells MMC he should stay away from them. Which is why when they receive an invitation for brunch, she sends him alone. 10/10 logic on her part.

MMC talks about using the Society's funding to do good for the world and notes that the reactions of the other members seem to be more making fun of him than agreeing with him. Emilio interjects and tells MMC that they should go for a walk. He takes him to the clock tower, where he and the inner circle tell him about time travel.

MMC takes this surprisingly well, seeing as most people would probably freak out or be skeptical upon being told that time travel was real. At least, that's what FMC did when she found out in her routes.

Speaking of FMC, she is left completely in the dark about the inner circle and time travel throughout the entire season and only makes a few appearances. It's almost ironic, considering that she's left her brother in the dark about Richard for basically his entire life. I can't say that I mind FMC's absence, since I personally don't like her that much. She constantly coddles her younger brother, despite him being a grown adult (I think they said he was 27), and was generally annoying. But back to Emilio.

MMC goes back to the clock tower, where the group (to the protests of Emilio) decides that he would be joining Emilio to a couple's retreat to prevent the exchange of power stones. (Also, power stones? Did 12 year old me come up with that name?) Of course, this means that Emilio and MMC have to pretend to be in a relationship. How hard can it be?

Considering that they failed on their first try, very hard. Rafe and Alanna decide to give our lovers some advice on making their relationship seem legit, and Rafe very subtly flirts with MMC.

I think it's safe to assume that we can expect a Rafe route for MMC sometime in the future (my condolences to those who shipped him with FMC, the wlm players are being starved).

Most of the time spent at the party can be summed up to Emilio being a major tease and the Marquess being super creepy. Then there's MMC friend Robert, who looks nothing like any other character we've seen in this series.

MMC is able to help Robert win a power stone, which infuriates the Marquess, who's been rigging the games the entire time. So he kills Robert and takes the power stone back.

Emilio and MMC go back to the present, and the inner circle tells a horrified MMC that such things happen and that they have to act like nothing happened. What I don't like is how harsh the inner circle was to MMC when he doubted Richard being a bad person. While it's true that he needs to learn to accept that fact, there's a difference between tough love and just being an asshole. Thankfully, Emilio steps in and tells them off for it.

When Emilio and MMC go back to the party, the Marquess has the stone he took from Robert, claiming that he won it from Robert in a private game. During the evening, the Marquess shows interest in MMC's ring and offers to bet him for it in a private game, which MMC accepts.

MMC ends up winning the game, which infuriates the Marquess, and he attempts to kill MMC. Emilio steps in, followed by other guests, and the Marquess claims that MMC tried to seduce him. Emilio and MMC convince the other guests that they should perform a ritual to reveal if the Marquess killed Robert for the stone.

The ritual is performed, the Marquess is revealed to have murdered Robert, and the other society members strip him of his title. The inner circle celebrates the victory, and Emilio opens up a little more.

When MMC returns to the clock tower the next day, he finds out that he and Emilio will be going to the 1900s (I'm assuming since films grew in popularity around the mid-1900s), and MMC will have to seduce Emilio. (Fake relationship; the sequel)

Final Thoughts

After the wonderful premiere of IHS with Cassius and Alanna, (see my review here) I didn't have the best expectations for the series. But the little we saw of Emilio in those routes made him seem likable, which made me hopeful that his route would be better. Emilio surpassed all of my expectations.

We got the same incredible writing from the other routes, with much better chemistry between the MC and LI. Hopefully, future seasons of IHS will be more like this one. Now, I'm not saying that Alanna and Cassius's seasons were horrible (definitely a lot of room for improvement), but IHS might have made a better impression if it premiered with Emilio.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Favorite CG:

[eljackinton]

Final Thoughts on Greedfall

Greedfall popped up on my radar last year when people began mentioning that it had been a while since we had last seen a Bioware style RPG. In recent years story heavy RPGs have tended to come in two varieties: Massive open worlds, or Baldur's Gate style throwbacks.

It wasn't long before people started talking about Greedfall for another reason: It's rather insensitive take on colonialism. In both instances enthusiasm for Greedfall was tempered. It was a worthy effort to try and rival something like Dragon Age, but it had too many problems to succeed.

Still, with no Dragon Age or Mass Effect game currently on the horizon, and nobody else trying to contribute to the genre in that way, I knew I was going to find myself playing Greedfall eventually.

Let me be clear, I absolutely think RPG fans out there should play Greedfall. Problems or not, I have to applaud Spiders for at least attempting to make a game nobody outside Bioware (or even in Bioware these days) is trying to make. I'd absolutely be up for seeing a sequel, and I hope some modest success can put pressure on EA to let Bioware get back to regular releases again, or encourage other studios to try something similar.

With that out of the way, I want to talk about what I liked and what I didn't, but first, we have to talk about...

Greedfall's one big problem.

Greedfall is a story about colonialism that has nothing to say about colonialism. It takes place in a fantasy world where an island is sort of, but not quite, being colonised like the Americas were. The game skirts the line between how much it resembles this. The natives of the island are not Native Americans, but they're not not Native Americans either. The game wants to ask the difficult questions about expansion and coexistence, but then wraps it all up with mealy-mouthed 'can't we all just get along' platitudes.

Greedfall's idea of colonialism is about as complex as Disney's Pocahontas. It's a world where bad things only happen because of bad individuals. It it wasn't for the craven or immoral there would be peace on the island. Colonialism is capable of being benign.  The game constantly pushes this idea at you, and makes it super obvious that when the time comes to nominate who will be the next high king, the candidate who wants to drive the colonists off the island is treated as one of the bad choices (or 'less good' if you're being charitable.)

Despite the name being Greed-fall, greed and the nature of it are barely explored. The colonists are on the island searching for a cure for a plague. The Bridge Alliance is driven by scientistic discovery, Theleme is driven by religious conviction. The faction the player represents, The Congregation of Merchants, is probably the one most motivated by monetary gain, but they, ironically, feature so thinly in the plot that they might as well not be there.

Over the last few years, culture and society has began to look at colonialism with a more critical eye. The fact that Greedfall failed to consider this shows both a profound lack of imagination and ambition. Better writers than I have already discussed whether this makes the game mildly insensitive or outright offensive, but it's undeniable that it's a problem and it's a dead weight at its core.

What I liked

- The gameplay and game feel was all great. Combat felt smooth. Magic and technical abilities never felt redundant and always added a new dimension to the fights. Firearms felt powerful but never overpowered. There was never a point in the game where I felt overwhelmed.

- There was no 'busywork' sidequests dragging the flow of the game down. There is exactly one 'collectathon' side quest and it's short and easy to ignore. You manage to see all of the world simply by following the quests, meaning it's hard to miss anything significant.

- Collecting resources goes seamlessly with travel and you always have an abundance of resources for crafting and alchemy, which is as easy as 'do you have all the components.' No multi-part crafting or blueprints required.

- The writing and the dialogue was all really steller. At critical points in the game I got really drawn in and could feel the weight of the steaks.

- The characters were a joy to hang around with, chat to, and discover their past. The romance was heartfelt. The side quests were all interesting and cool.

- The visuals were beautiful and parts of the game really made me want to go off and explore.

- Great soundtrack.

- I liked how you could only learn so many abilities over the course of the game. This is a character system where you're either going to be a specialist or a jack of all trades. I don't like it when RPGs essentially give you enough skill points to unlock everything because it just robs the player character of their own unique flavour.

What I didn't like

- The pacing was a real mess. We spend far too long in the starting port that it kills all momentum. The whole story lacks direction for most of it, and any semblance of a plot only really begins two thirds of the way through the game, This was a game that really struggled to make me want to find out what happens next. This is particularly weird given how well the actual dialogue is written.

- The world-building is also implemented poorly. There are whole chunks of the world and backstory that are not elaborated upon. The factions all lack depth and dimension. The game fails to utilise the companions as a means to flesh out the factions they come from. It's hard to appreciate a 'new world' when we don't really know anything about the old one.

- The story brings up ideas and does nothing with them. The fact that (spoilers) the player characters is revealed to be the child of a native adds nothing to the story. The reveal that there was a secret former colony on the island adds nothing to the story (spoilers end.)

- There's not enough variety of environments. Every sub-map blurs into another after a while, even the cities from supposedly vastly different nations have identical architecture styles. It's a crazy big mistake that the HQ of every faction is just the same building template with the textures swapped.

- You can't really impress a personality upon the player character. The game really needed some dialogue choices that added 'sarcastic' or 'frustrated' options. While there are choices the player can make, the personality of the plater character is pretty much set in stone.

- There really wasn't enough content to justify the romances. It basically boils down to about three or four conversations. There's no chance to flirt, or have a bit of back and forth. You just complete the companion quest and then 'romance now?' A missed opportunity.

So all in all, Greedfall is not a prefect game. It's got a lot of problems and a big one in particular, but, again, I applaud the effort. I'd like to see a sequel, and I'd like to see more studios taking chances like this.

[classpect-crew]

Aspects and Narrative Structure

What exactly are Aspects, anyways? Well, in the comic itself, Aspects are forces of the universe that influence and are influenced by the “Heroes” present in the story. But what does this mean on a broader scale? We all have a pretty good idea of what each Aspect represents in canon, but what if that’s not the whole story?

Before we begin, I’d like to direct you to an excellent video by @revolutionaryduelist (optimistic Duelist on YouTube) that will prime you for what I’m about to discuss. I highly recommend checking out their channel, as it’s extremely informative and fun to watch!

So, now that you’ve no doubt enjoyed the video I’ve linked, let’s get into what each Aspect represents in terms of a broader narrative. One of the big narrative themes of Homestuck is that the story is essentially a stage performance, or an “interactive play,” which we see throughout the comic, from the “Acts” and “Intermissions” to the curtains opening and closing on each Act. There are plenty of times where the “fourth wall” is completely shattered, and the layers between the cast and the audience start to blend together. With this in mind, it’s not difficult to reason that each Aspect not only represents a certain universal force in the comic’s universe, but also represents an aspect of narrative structure. I’ll begin with the definitions shown in optimistic Duelist’s video, and then expand upon them from my own perspective.

Let’s start with some easy ones: Space and Time. Space and Time represent the Setting and Pacing of a story. In our stage play metaphor, we can expand this further. Space is represented by the scenery that tells us where the characters are, but it also represents the physical space that the actors take up. Different prop placement, lighting, and scenery can make the stage feel bigger or smaller to fit the needs of the scene, and a change in these things will naturally translate to us as a scene change. Time, on the other hand, is represented by the progression of the story through actions, dialogue, the opening and closing of curtains, and even the music that accompanies each scene and plays continuously during intermissions. In a musical, this is even more obvious, as each song tells a distinct part of the story and opens up ideas about character motivations, illustrates choices, and so on—though this aspect of Time is merely the lens through which these things are viewed, since choices/motivations/etc. are truly representative of other Aspects entirely. As in real life, these two Aspects intermingle considerably, creating “spacetime” as the spatial and temporal backdrop of all the events we witness as audience members, the framework that allows both depth and progression to occur in the narrative and sets the foundation of the stage itself.

Light and Void represent Relevance and Irrelevance. The difference between the cast and crew on stage is easy to tell because the spotlight will always be on a character, not on a member of the crew, unless ironically referencing a crew member (thus breaking the illusion) is a part of the performance itself. Those who are illuminated hold the attention of the audience, and the light allows us to see their facial expressions, their clothing, their movements, etc. and understand the character better through these things. A character who is self-assured may wear a smug grin, holding themselves upright with confidence. A character who is poor might wear old, ragged clothing. Light is all about which characters are relevant, and it also allows the audience to discern information about the characters and about the larger world within the play itself. On the other hand, Void is represented by the unlit areas of the stage, the shadows behind props and characters, and even the crew itself. The ties between Void and the stage crew can be illustrated through bunraku, also known as ningyō jōruri, a traditional Japanese puppet theatre with a long and fascinating history. Puppeteers are clothed in black robes, often hooded, and blend into the black backdrop in order to direct attention onto the puppets themselves and away from their operators. Stage crews in American theatre will often wear dark clothing for the same reason, moving props and scenery as necessary without drawing attention away from the story itself. Although they’re absolutely vital to the execution of the play itself, the crew is in most cases irrelevant to the play’s narrative, thus they work in the shadows to place pieces where they need to be, going unnoticed by the audience.

Life and Doom represent Agency and Conflict. As every good storyteller knows, both of these are vital to the lifeblood of a story, as characters who have no agency are simply puppets, empty vessels with no will of their own, and a story with no conflict doesn’t go anywhere or challenge the characters in any way. In our stage metaphor, Life is the appearance of each character’s free will. Even though we recognize that a script is in place, and the actors are simply working within the framework of scripted interactions, they bring the characters to life through their performances and give the illusion that the world presented onstage is a vibrant one. A good actor can draw an audience into the story by fully embodying the character in question, stepping into the role and allowing us to relate to them, cheering on the heroes and rallying against the villains as the story progresses. We begin to forget that the world we’re presented is mere fiction, and we come out of the experience feeling much different than when we entered. This is what makes a good stage play so compelling, as we watch these characters grow and change based on what they endure and how the world reacts to their actions. In the same vein, Doom is the conflicts, obstacles, and limits placed in the way of the characters to challenge them and help them to grow. In the case of a tragedy, this can also be the end result, whether through a character failing to achieve their goals, a villain succeeding in their heinous plot, or even the death of a protagonist, which removes their agency in the story itself. No real person becomes stronger without facing hardship, and the same is true in fiction. What sort of character would Hamlet be if he wasn’t challenged to find a way to cope with the death of his father, or the knowledge that his uncle was the one who killed him? These conflicts enrich the stories we’re told and provide roadblocks on the road of success, testing the limits of each character’s willpower and strengthening their resolve, or even forcing them to reconsider their goals entirely. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, and these necessary hardships fill out the story itself, ensuring that something is learned through the experience through delayed—or, in some cases, entirely absent—gratification.

Breath and Blood represent Plot Development and Character Dynamics. As the Aspect of movement and change, Breath translates into our metaphor quite nicely, ensuring that the story is as dynamic as the characters themselves. It’s the sequence of events that takes us from exposition to resolution—in essence, it’s pretty much the story itself, which is why John is able to do what he does, escaping from the narrative of Homestuck entirely in order to affect things from the outside. The plot is the engine that drives the story—the twists and turns that the narrative takes as difference pieces take their turns on the board. Character motivations are explored, actions are taken, unexpected events take place, and lessons are learned. All of this happens within the plot, and it’s a very external force, as opposed to what we’ll explore in a moment with Blood, which hones in on characters specifically, rather than the whole narrative. Breath is also represented by change, and any change in motivations, scenery, tone, and even tempo can be attributed to Breath in addition to the Aspects normally represented by those things. Blood, however, is a matter of interpersonal relations between characters in a story: their feelings about—and for—each other, the various factions within a story, and the natural associations one can make, such as “protagonists/antagonists, nobility/commoners, obedient civilians/ruthless scoundrels, and so on. Part of what makes characters so interesting is their dynamics with other characters. For example, on her own, Elphaba Thropp from Wicked is a very interesting character. Blessed with innate magical skills, but cursed with green skin, she is ostracized by many and reluctantly admired by some, and this makes her interactions with others very dynamic. Her insistence on bringing much-needed attention to the oppression of Animals in Oz, social consequences be damned, comes in direct conflict with a character like Galinda Upland, who strives to maintain her place in the social hierarchy, even if that means masking her true feelings on controversial subjects to paint herself favorably in the eyes of others. As the story progresses, the two find that they have much more in common than they could’ve guessed, and they begin fighting for the same cause, shifting from bitter enemies to best friends through the course of a few excellent musical numbers. This shift in their dynamic is vital to the story, yet this is merely one of many such dynamics.

Let’s move on to two Aspects that are a bit more abstract in our narrative format. Hope and Rage represent Coherence and Contrivance. These words may sound quite different from what we’re used to from these Aspects but hear me out, because there’s a method to my madness. A story’s coherence is how well it can be understood, and furthermore, how well it can be related to by an audience. It also represents the enthusiasm with which an invested audience will respond to the narrative taking place. In our stage play metaphor, this is part of what drives us to immerse ourselves in the story. It’s the excitement we feel when our favorite character completes their goal as set up in the exposition, or the fear we experience when an adversary comes close to unraveling it all. It’s the ability to escape from our own lives and enter the world presented onstage, and a big part of why walking out of a great performance can feel like we’re waking up from an intense lucid dream. It’s the magic of excellent storytelling. Hope is what drives us to overlook mistakes, either in the narrative itself or in the performance, and allows us to enjoy it as a whole. On the other hand, Rage’s contrivance delights in tearing open plot holes, exposing the divide between performers and the audience, and dispelling the illusion that the world on stage is in any way “real.” It’s the heckler at a comedy show, or the critics in the nosebleed seats. It’s the breaking of the fourth wall that occurs when a character in the story directly addresses the audience, or begins to critique the narrative itself. While it can certainly seem like a negative force, this Aspect is what keeps us firmly grounded in reality, pulling us out of “la la land” when the show is over and it’s time to return to our lives. It marks an end to the magic, a disbelief in the “miracles,” and the voice of reason.

Finally, our last two Aspects, Heart and Mind, represent Inner Character and Outer Character. This is fairly obvious, given what we already know from canon, and it translates fairly literally in our metaphor. Heart is represented by a character’s “true self,” or what remains the same in every performance of the play. It’s what makes each character recognizable, no matter how the script, costumes, set design, etc. have been adapted. Peter Pan, for example, is always presented as childlike and carefree, bold in his actions and protective of those he loves. He can also be incredibly naive and immature, which humanizes him and allows room for growth. Regardless of which actor might play him, or whether the story is adapted to a sci-fi setting, or tells the tale of a much older Peter, or is even presented from the perspective of an entirely different culture, these character traits and motivations will always be the same. They’re what make him the “Peter Pan” we all know and love. The “true self” involves every trait that is essential to a character. If these traits were changed in some way, they would cease to be the same character, much like adding or removing a proton from an atom would change its element entirely. On the contrary, Mind is represented by a character’s “projected self,” or how they present themselves in the company of others. For some characters, their “true self” always shines through, and they rarely act in ways that aren’t in accordance with their deeply-held values. For others, such as Billy Flynn from Chicago, the creation and maintenance of a constructed, outward “self” is vital to their survival and prosperity, and sometimes deception is the name of the game. Billy, an incredibly successful defense lawyer, comes across in his musical number as a caring, compassionate man who couldn’t care less about money and values “love” more than anything else. This is extremely ironic, however, as the audience is soon presented with a very different view of Billy: as a stern, ambitious man who’s very concerned with money, but also loves the challenge of winning cases for clients on death row. As his “true self” is revealed, his choices and motivations begin to make sense to the audience, and we gain a deeper understanding of the man behind the mask, so to speak.

Each Aspect plays a vital role in the narrative structure of any story—or performance, in this case—and perhaps we can use these interpretations to further understand what our own Aspect connections are. After all, all the world’s a stage, right?

[takeiteasypeasybaby]

Save Me: Chapter 11 - After

~Hey guys! This is Chapter 11 of ‘Save Me’ ❤️ Molly finally pushes Negan to the edge and has to suffer the punishment...😬 Hope you enjoy and chapter 12 will be out on Wednesday 🤟🏻

The hardest part of a storm is always what comes after. While the survivors deal with grief and loss, Molly is thriving by Negan's side. While Molly is swiftly becoming Negan's favourite, the closer she gets to power, the more danger she becomes susceptible to.

Everyone was still.

Morning came and passed, Maggie sat still, her tears flowing over Glenn's body.

Rosita and Sasha were numb as they stared in silence at Abraham's body.

Rick and Carl tried to move Maggie, she was still ill after all and needed medical attention now more than ever.

Maggie resisted, asking them to leave without her as she would never leave him.

'He's my family' she cried while Carl tried to hold her.

Rick said stuttering through his tears, 'he's our family too'.

Sasha told Rick she would take Maggie to Hilltop while they go back to Alexandria.

But they vowed to stay together and carried the bodies into the RV so they could bury their loved ones at home.

Three members of their family had left last night, Daryl was taken from them and there was no telling when they would see him again, if ever.

Carl held Maggie while she sobbed into his arms, not looking as they lifted Glenn.

That journey to Hilltop was as silent as ever.

No one plotted or made plans to attack with vengeance, they just sat still in silence and waited and pleaded for someone to tell them that it had all been a nightmare.

No one came.

Molly's POV//

There was a knock on the cell door.

I awoke hastily and sat up to see Negan standing in front of her smiling as I rubbed her eyes.

'Morning beautiful' he said groggily as if he'd just woken up as well.

I rolled my eyes at that comment while he chuckled at my response.

'Today's a big day. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life' he said happily.

'What?' I replied sleepily.

'Come on darlin, follow me' he winked and held out his hand.

I took it this time without hesitation and smiled up at him, half genuine, half forced.

He smiled at my enthusiasm, 'I can't wait for you to see it, I hope you like it'.

He almost skipped down the corridor, looking down at my hand and smiling as if in awe.

I looked up at him with a sceptical smile, wondering what he was plotting.

'Okay darlin, we're here', he said smiling as he opened a door on the same corridor that held his room.

I gave him a look of hesitation before walking in and seeing a room almost as luxurious as his.

I gasped.

It wasn't as dark as his, there were beautiful big windows with white drapes, a four poster bed with cream sheets, a brown sofa and a bookshelf with what seemed to house half of his books I remembered seeing when I first saw his room.

I turned back around to him smiling.

'This is...?' I started to ask before he interrupted, 'yours darlin' he said seriously.

I looked around again before swinging back around and saying playfully, 'but I said that I wouldn't become a-'.

He interrupted me before I could say anymore, 'I know, but even so, you're onboard here and you're more than a prisoner...you don't belong in that cell'.

A smile grew across my face at his words.

Was this kindness genuine? Did we just compromise?

'Thank you. Seriously, I appreciate it' I looked in his eyes and saw them light up at me thanking him.

'Can I come inside?' he said smiling and still standing in the doorway.

I smiled back, 'such a gentleman' I said sarcastically but with a hint of truth.

He chuckled walking towards me.

'Well, I've been called a lot but no one's ever called me that before' he said smirking.

'Well don't get used to it', I said leaning in closer before pulling away and moving around the room.

I spun around, looking at the bed before looking up and seeing him eyeing it as well.

He looked up at me before hesitating wanting to say something else but settling on 'well, enjoy darlin but make sure you're in the main hall by twelve'.

At that he smiled before walking back out and shutting the door behind him and left.

My eyes widened, why was my room on his floor?

I audibly gasped, thinking about what he might want from me.

What I might want from him.

Stop it, I told myself shutting my eyes tightly before exhaling and making my way to see Sherry.

I had to see her.

Fat Joey stood outside my room, Negan must have asked him to be my guard or something because he seemed less casual than usual.

'Hey Joey' I said smiling sweetly, he didn't say hey but just asked where I was going.

I frowned, before saying to visit his wives and asking whether that was okay with him sarcastically.

He accepted my request before following me closely as I left my room.

I knocked on the door, when Sherry opened the door before I was finished.

'Hey! what are you doing here?' she asked hastily.

'I need to talk to you' I said quickly, she looked like she needed to be somewhere.

'Sherry? you okay?' I asked worriedly as she seemed distracted.

'Yeah sorry, does Negan know you're here?' she asked nervously.

'Uh no, I don't think so. Would it be a problem?' I asked growing in concern for her.

'Well, it's just that he doesn't usually like anyone but him coming in here' she said eyeing the corridor and Fat Joey nervously.

'But I've been here before' I said chuckling slightly.

'Yeah, yes you have. Of course, come in', she said almost smiling again, I chuckled nervously.

I waved at the other ladies, they just looked at me before carrying on with whatever they were doing.

'Wow tough crowd', I said smiling at Sherry.

'You wanna sit?' she asked pointing over at a sofa.

'Yeah sure, thanks. Hey, why do they hate me so much?' I asked half humorously.

Sherry looked around while she sat down.

'It's not that exactly. They're threatened by you. They think Negan's gonna ask you to be one of his wives, that would mean less privileges for us' she said calmly.

My eyes widened as I tried to remain serious but let out a small chuckle.

'What?! Me? His wife? No, never' I said loudly.

Sherry didn't laugh and instead just said seriously, 'don't make light of it. I'm serious, you don't know what he's capable of. What he's done...'.

'Your best bet is to just do what he wants, that way you stay alive' she added pleadingly.

My eyebrows furrowed as if in disbelief, 'He doesn't scare me. He's been pretty accommodating actually' I said smiling slightly.

'Don't be so naive, whatever he's doing, it's to get you on his side before he breaks you' she said warningly.

I looked at her, like what she was saying was finally hitting home.

'Come, I'll show you. You may as well learn now', she said gesturing me to follow her through to another room that joined to this one.

The other women just watched as I walked through them.

'Sherry, what is this?', I asked curiously.

'Our closet. This is all we can wear', she said while pulling back a curtain to show a long rack of black mini dresses.

What the actual fuck?!

'But why?' I said touching the dresses.

'I don't know, he just likes it' she said nonchalantly.

I sighed, I felt disgusted. I felt like he'd just bought me.

That room wasn't for me, it for what I represented as a prisoner of war.

I hesitated before telling Sherry, 'I want to try one on'.

'What?' she asked worriedly.

'I want to change the meaning of the dress. I want to make him understand how sick this is. The dress will no longer mean ownership. I want to let him know that I know' I said confidently as Sherry just raised her brows.

I smiled at the idea.

Sherry still looked at me wide eyed and confused.

'Moll, I know you mean well but you'll get yourself killed. Don't test him! Just get under the radar' she begged.

I took one of the dresses anyway and tried it on. It fit like a glove, hugging my curves.

I hadn't worn a dress in years but this was a symbol.

I would be mocking his whole numerous wives thing, I would be mocking him.

I stepped out of the room, put on a pair of black heels from the cupboard and I walked out as the women stared open mouthed.

They all whispered as I went by, 'see what I mean. He did ask her!' one of them said.

I just smiled and left the room, until I turned down the corridor and saw Negan.

I stopped still as he did the same, both of us staring at each other.

He was furious. I had crossed two lines here.

I had entered his wives room without his permission and was now wearing a black dress.

As much as he tried to look furious as he marched over to me, his eyes kept flitting from mine down to my legs and back up.

He liked what he saw.

I was secretly excited by this but also nauseous seeing how he liked all of his wives to wear this 'uniform'.

'What the fuck are you wearing?!' he barked.

I rolled my eyes and smiled sweetly 'a dress' I retorted innocently.

His grip on Lucille had tightened as he growled.

'Just as I was trying to be nice. Oh darlin, you're gonna regret crossing me' he said scowling at me.

He looked over to his men who were behind him and now staring at me, jaws dropped to the floor.

'Hey!' Negan shouted, pounding Lucille on the floor.

'If I catch you looking at her again, I will cut out your eyes, got it?' Negan added while their gazes shifted straight up to him.

'Sorry, sir' they said in unison.

'Take her to the main hall' he barked at them.

He looked at me once more before saying 'show time' as they grabbed a hold of my arms and escorted me there.

I struggled the whole way but as we entered, the room was full. More full than when the iron was used.

I was dragged down to the middle of the room where a circle had formed around me.

Negan stood from the balcony, still scowling.

They were kneeling before he allowed them to rise again.

He had made a speech about the rules again and how I'd broke them so had to be punished.

The men were laughing and blowing kisses to me.

But I just shrugged them off until Negan spoke.

'Everyone place your bets now because its show time! Saviours, you know the drill, three rounds then the winner is declared' Negan bellowed to the crowd.

He looked at me now, revelling in my confusion.

What the fuck was this?!

He smiled down at me, then nodded to the man next to him to start the match.

I took off my shoes not knowing what the hell was happening.

Out came a woman, obviously a saviour.

Negan shouted 'Arat, meet Molly, Molly meet Arat'.

Was he expecting me to fight her?!

I chuckled to myself at what he wanted.

Would it turn him on to see me fight in a dress? Like one of his wives, but a hell of a lot tougher?

'You've gotta be fucking kidding me' I said softly.

Arat didn't smile, she just looked at me like she was about to kill me.

She put her fists up as the whistle blew.

She stepped towards me throwing the first punch, I ducked to the side before trying to talk to her while we stepped around each other.

'Look, we don't have to do this alright?' I said sternly.

She smirked before saying 'shut up bitch and i'll try to go easy on you, kay?' and threw another punch, she missed.

Okay she wasn't gonna stop so I was gonna have to put an end to this shit show.

I ducked again, this time punching her square across the face, enough to knock her down.

'Just stop okay? Don't hurt yourself' I asked her, which pissed her off even more.

I tripped her up and landed another punch to her face before she dropped.

She lay on her back gasping for breath, still trying to get up.

Everyone was chanting now, Molly! Molly! Molly!

As she got up and threw her last punch I grabbed her arm and swung her around to put her in a headlock.

She struggled until she eventually tapped out.

I'd won the first one.

Negan smiled and clapped.

The whistle blew again. This time a man came out.

He was a large man, tall and heavily built.

I looked at him for a second while everyone else was sceptical about my strength. But this wasn't about strength, just agility.

He threw punches at me, one hitting my arm throwing me backwards.

I decided to turn it up a notch and use what Jesus had taught me.

He ran towards me before I jumped back up onto my feet and climbed him, wrapping my legs around his neck, spinning him and flipping him over onto his back.

He landed with a thud, there was a crack, he'd broke something.

He tapped out while in pain on the floor while I stood over him.

I looked up at Negan briefly smirking while the man got taken away on a stretcher.

Everyone cheered and whooped in disbelief, 'she's a fucking monkey! she literally climbed him!' I heard one guy shout.

I held back my smile wanting to stay in the zone.

The last whistle blew.

From the shadow, another woman came out.

Once the light hit her, I gasped. It was Sherry.

I looked at her before looking up at Negan who was now looking back at me sternly.

I shook my head with my hands on my hips and scoffed, 'son of a bitch' I whispered.

Sherry looked terrified.

I looked over to see Dwight in the crowd who was scared out of his mind but also furious at the same time.

His eyes pleaded me to go easy on her, but I would do one better.

Sherry came closer, while people chanted.

'Moll, just do it. Get it over with' she pleaded, tears rolling down her face.

'No. Not gonna happen. I don't give a fuck. If that sick son of a bitch thinks I'm gonna fight you then he can go fuck himself' I said breathlessly.

'Wife versus wife! Sick!' one guy shouted.

Negan grew more and more impatient, before he made his way down the stairs and walked towards the circle.

People parted like the Red Sea for him as he walked, he held a gun in his hands.

Shit.

'Cmon darlin. Finish the game' he said smiling sinisterly.

I looked at him like I would kill him.

'Go fuck yourself asshole' I barked back at him.

His face dropped, 'whew, I can't let that behaviour slide. You know that. So, punishment', he said calmly as he put the gun in my hands.

'Kill her' he whispered leaning close to me, this time all I felt for him was hatred.

This was his idea of a sick game and Sherry cried even harder now.

Dwight looked at me, mouthing 'please', a tear rolling down his face.

I looked at Negan and nodded, before looking at the gun then back to Sherry.

I raised the gun to Sherry.

The room was silent now, you could hear a pin drop. Sherry was shaking as I held the gun to her.

I took in a deep breath before turning the gun to my own head.

Sherry screamed 'NO!', I clicked the trigger, once, twice, each time with more frustration. Nothing.

It wasn't loaded.

It was a test.

It was a fucking test.

Negan looked at me, surprised that I was willing to kill myself over one of his wives. But of course he didn't know our history.

Dwight closed his eyes in relief, so did Sherry.

I turned to Negan before leaning and whispering in his ear saying 'do me and everyone here a favour and shoot yourself before I get the chance'.

I looked into his eyes to see his response which was just blank as if he was in awe.

I picked up the heels and walked out of the room.

This time they parted for me.

[starswornoaths]

Forget Me Not (1/2)

Here, have a Serella/Aymeric Hanahaki AU two-shot literally no one asked for bc writer’s block is the worst.

When Aymeric had told Serella she had brought spring back to Ishgard, he had meant it more than just metaphorically. He only wished he could find it in him to tell her thus.

Or:

Local man afflicted with dandyism, avoids confessing his feelings so much he nearly dies from it.

Word count: 1,742

Aymeric had grown so accustomed to feeling a flutter in his chest when speaking with Serella that he had at first thought little of it beyond how best to ignore it. 

In the beginning, the fluttering had accompanied a thrilling sort of rush from the thought that he would at last be meeting with the warrior whose exploits he had become so enraptured with. Idolatry, he had dismissed it as, and had presumed it would calm in time.

And it had. Until it had returned with the blossoming of their friendship, with coming to learn more of her than her legend, more of Serella than the Warrior of Light. It had been easy to wave it off even then; so unaccustomed to making friends as he was, surely he was just glad to have the opportunity to do so. 

Certainly, Aymeric felt his heart thaw the more time he spent with her— and that he made time for her at all should have clued him in to his own heart— and perhaps it should have been obvious to him, in the way he felt as though he glowed when she was with him, just how much deeper his feelings had begun to take root, how strongly she had planted herself in his life as a permanent presence necessary to his preservation. So unaccustomed to feeling such warmth for another — and from another — as he did with Serella, it had been easier to simply bury such feelings and wait for the fluttering in his chest to go away. Surely, it would stop, he reasoned.

Surely.

**

*

The first time he coughed up petals, Aymeric had been caught unawares.

 He had run into Serella by pure coincidence, though as with every time their paths intersected, they readily fell into step together to speak of the most recent book they were reading in tandem. It hadn’t mattered that they had overshot their destination in the Pillars by a half malm, they had both just hit the point in the murder mystery where the plot had taken an unexpected twist, and Aymeric had shared in her overcharged enthusiasm to discuss where they thought the story was going.

It had happened so suddenly, the realization and the consequence of his feelings both. It had been such a small moment, when Serella had pointed out one of the details in the story’s case to find the killer. As she wove her theory, her eyes of earth and sea glittering with excitement and her smile bright as a lily, he took in her energetic brilliance and something softly soul deep, all on its own, sighed, I love you.

The thought had startled him so thoroughly that he choked on a gasp in the middle of Serella unwittingly still spinning her theory. The flutter in his chest had returned, though it came accompanied by a strange rustling in his lungs that sent him into a coughing fit.

“Aymeric?” She stepped closer, resting reassuring hands on his back, his forearm, as he nearly doubled over from coughing. When his coughing had turned more productive, he accepted her handkerchief, and winced at the waxy objects that came up when at last he had managed to get his coughing under control.

When he looked down at what he had coughed up to see little yellow petals in the cloth, his mind drew a blank. When had he been near flowers recently? And near enough to have unknowingly consumed them, no less?

Breathlessly reassuring his dear friend (and surely only ever a friend, what else could she have possibly been,) Aymeric made a mental note to see a chirurgeon about the cough if it continued to persist.

As he read enough ahead to see that Serella’s theory had partially been correct that night, he coughed up enough flowers to start a garden, all yellow and frighteningly perplexing. He resolved to see the chirurgeon on the morrow— surely it was treatable. 

Surely.

**

*

The disease had many names, depending on the region, or so said the chirurgeon the next morning. Garden Lung. Hanahaki. Death Vine. The name mattered little.

For the cardinal sin of loving someone, Aymeric’s lungs were rapidly turning into a terrarium, and in time it would claim his life, if untreated. His options were… few. A cure could be found by his love being requited, or surgery to excise it— and with it, the ability to love at all, for the rest of his life.

“Think it over, Lord Commander.” The chirurgeon had spoken up kindly in the wake of his dazed silence. “It’s in its early stages yet. There is time to consider your options.”

Aymeric wanted to laugh. Of course he would be punished for love. Was it divine retribution for loving Hydaelyn’s chosen? Or was this the price for his father’s blood yet coursing through is veins? And all his absolution would cost him was to purge every gentle ilm that he had been reminded lived in his bones.

To forsake spring for decades of winter, or fall softly, sweetly, in the warmth of spring and sleep. Pragmatism demanded he let the ice claim him— what had love done for him but start to kill him, after all, and how could one as spirited and vibrant as the Warrior of Light want someone so anchored in his own obligations? To love him would be to tether her where she might otherwise soar free, he reasoned. 

But then Aymeric thought of the way Serella reminded him how Coerthas felt before the Calamity, how spring settled gently on the skin and warmed him to his bones. He remembered how soft the flowers felt beneath his fingertips, and how her hand in his felt much the same— 

The chirurgeon prescribed medication to slow the process. Surely that would buy him enough time to see Ishgard freed from his father’s cold, iron grip, to see the Gates of Judgement open to all and a new Ishgard shed its oppressive mantle.

Surely.

**

*

The chirurgeon had warned Aymeric the illness would worsen the more he loved, “whoever it is that’s worth dying for.” Though he had taken the advice to heart, he had not thought it would worsen so quickly.

Serella’s concern for his health when his cough persisted had only exacerbated the problem; unaccustomed to someone caring for his well being, he couldn’t help but fall a little further every time she brought him homemade soup, jars of honey from her bees infused with lemon and ginger, or offered to bring him a fleece blanket from her home.

Inside a month, the petals followed him everywhere— his kerchief, tucked into his armor, was laden with the yellow petals more oft than not. Eventually, it had been impossible to hide; what natural scent had been his was completely overridden by the scent of flowers, even had Serella not seen the petals flutter out of his coat when he moved to cover another cough.

“Those flowers…” Serella said softly, reaching over to touch one of the dry, intact flowers that had come from his coat. She was careful as she smoothed it out, looking at its broad, oval shaped petals with ruffled tips. “Gladiolus? How? These aren’t native to the region...” A ponderous frown creased her brow. 

“They are—” Aymeric choked, on flowers, feelings, and confession alike, for fear of her taking the blame for herself. She could hardly be faulted for not loving him, after all. “—I take my work to one of the greenhouses from time to time.” He admitted to her.

 While not an outright lie, a lie by omission all the same. His gut burned with the guilt, even as he felt the roots of his love sink deeper into his lungs, feel the petals of his devotion sway in the breeze of his breath when he let out a shuddering sigh. 

She looked up at him with those dazzling eyes of earth and sea, and all at once he understood how she had so thoroughly became his world. “I hadn’t realized you had an interest in flora,” she said with a grin. “I would have brought you flowers from my garden!”

If only she knew. She already had.

**

*

By the time the Warriors of Light had uncovered the truth of the Dragonsong War, and the atrocity that his people had committed a millenia ago, Aymeric was visibly ill. 

The worry for what she had been doing, the terror of what could befall her, had all become too much for his beleaguered heart, it seemed, on top of the myriad reasons he had fallen for her in the first place. By the time she had returned and aided Lady Ysayle in convincing the heretics to leave Ishgard peacefully, Aymeric had paled, thinned enough that his armor rattled hollow with his movement. He fought not to sway in time with his breaths, in time with the flowers that moved with his every rustling breath.

But the flowers had been set ablaze with his righteous indignation— at his nation’s history, at how many people had fought and died for a lie, at his father for perpetuating the lie, profiting from it, and letting the disenfranchised suffer for it. 

“A divided Ishgard will not survive.” He said, on his stumbling way out the door.

He was going to die anyroad, for love of someone he should feel naught for. He might as well be the one to confront his father for the crimes against the people Thordan had done naught for.

**

*

They hardly interrogated him after he’d been clapped in irons for fear of outright killing him.

The moment Grinneaux had landed a punch to Aymeric’s ribs, he had spilled the sword lilies from his mouth in a burst of sunlight yellow petals stained faintly in blood. They glowed softly on their gentle path to the stone floor. 

“Stop!” Haumeric ordered. “The Death Vines are deep in his lungs… we cannot kill him before he talks.” 

They found more dextrous flourishes of interrogation in the form of flames and flint daggers, of bloodletting and scorching, instead. The flowers caught fire before they even landed now, with Charibert searing his skin.

All below the collar, of course, on his father’s command, that his execution might look clean.

By the time Aymeric was found by kinder comrades, he had been left to lie in a bed of his own flowers, his secret well and fully out.

Part 2

[tays2centsonstuff]

UNDER THE SKIN, 2013

synopsis: a mysterious young woman seduces lonely men in the evening hours in scotland. however, events lead her to begin a process of self-discovery.

director: jonathan glazer writers: walter campbell, jonathan glazer, based on the novel by michel faber stars: scarlett johansson, jeremy mcwilliams, adam pearson

genres: drama | horror | sci-fi | thriller

country: uk language: english filming locations: scotland, england

runtime: 108mins

---

overall opinion:

this movie caught me completely off guard. and it took me way too long to finally check it out. now, I love me some good indie movies but the «problem» with indies is that because they aren’t hyped and reviewed 10,000 times over, it’s up to you to take the risk with those you feel like could maybe be good / interesting. and the synopsis just did sound a little too weird even for my taste.

so two days ago I finally watched it. and it stayed with me so long, I watched it again 24 hours later.

I must say in the beginning I had no idea what this was going to be and my enthusiasm was limited. there was virtually no dialogue (I believe the first words are spoken around the 13min mark and it barely counts as dialogue). the main character, who remains nameless throughout the movie, barely does anything worth mentioning at all. and yet, I was captivated. I found myself completely ignoring my phone (which is usually in my hand while watching tv) because there was no dialogue and everything that happened was visual. it was a very unique experience, and the way scarlett johansson managed to bring the character across, seeing our world from alien eyes, still gives me goosebumps.

you see, while the story / plot sounds extremely weird, the plot is not even important here. what this movie is trying to do is give you an experience. it’s visually stunning, and the eery feeling you have watching scarlett guide her alien character through this human experience stays with you long after the movie is over. at least that’s what it was like for me.

a little tip: I would encourage you to watch the movie twice. once without any sort of information (to get that «wtf feeling»), and then again after reading up on it (and maybe my review). believe me, it wasn’t until I watched it with all that background knowledge that I started to realise why I liked it so much, and it gave me a completely different layer of appreciation for it.

---

if you have not seen it, I would invite you to stop reading here and come back once you have as the following paragraphs will contain spoilers (my thoughts to major plot points) and I would hate to influence any sort of experience you might have watching it.

---

now, I might be slightly biased here because I love scarlett, but she completely made this movie. the way she manages to portray that alien person, her face utterly emotionless, her body language not giving anything away, was simply stunning. there are multiple long shots of her just staring into the distance (or at her own face in a mirror), utterly expressionless. and while a lot of people might say portraying no emotions is not as hard as portraying fake ones, I believe that replacing or covering a real emotion with a different one is much easier to accomplish than completely wiping your face off anything that makes you human.

the most fascinating part, for me, was the nude scene (yes, there is a nude scene). and people who haven’t seen the movie would probably be like: DAMN, HOW SEXY. NAKED SCARLETT JOHANSSON. yeah, no. the thing with that scene was, and that’s why it was one of my favourite scenes in the movie, is that scarlett, with her absolutely amazing body (and believe me I’m the first one to be absolutely jealous of it because she is gorgeous), manages to make the scene devoid of anything sexual. you see, in that moment, she is an alien figure for the first time starting to feel human. and that prompts her to explore her humanity – her body, her shell, that is still so foreign to her. we know from a few minutes earlier in the movie that she can’t eat (she tries to eat a piece of cake and then chokes and spits it out), so there are likely no bodily functions going on. so standing in front of that mirror, completely naked, she is exploring it for the first time. there are lots of very close shots of pretty private parts, and yet still… it is absolutely not sexual in any way. it’s very matter-of-fact, exactly as a strange entity would view our body seeing it for the first time.

it is not until she actually decides to have sex with a man that she discovers that she is in fact, not as human as she was feeling. and I think it’s at this point that she realises that she just does not fit in – no matter how much she wants to. she is not human.

confused and probably the closest she’d get to sad, she flees into the woods where the final scenes take place which for me, with all the rest of the movie already giving me an eery feeling, were the worst. I HATE rape scenes, even attempted ones, especially when it happens to someone I care about (even when it’s acting). seeing favourite people / actors in situations like that spikes my anxiety. it was brutal, and scarlett’s face absolutely killed me. like, thinking about it makes me weepy.

so I had very mixed feelings about that final encounter but in a way, it made sense. she went from predator to prey, thus completing her transition into a human woman. because in a very twisted (and in our society sadly still accurate) way, she experienced what it was like to be a human woman alone in the woods. the most ironic part was that, since we already discovered that she couldn’t physically have sex, he would have probably fled once he realised that. but her fighting back (which again, probably was human instinct after all), caused the skin / disguise to rip and him to see what or who she truly was, prompting him to burn her alive.

---

why it stayed with me:

I think the reason why I kept staring at the tv for minutes after it faded to black, and why I barely slept that night, and why I got this eery, haunting feeling is because in the weirdest way I related to the character a lot. I have spent the biggest part of my life feeling alienated, not fitting in no matter how hard I wanted to. it’s a feeling that will stay with me forever. I now have friends and I feel like I’m doing okay in london, but seeing movies with outcasts as characters always bring be back to that feeling of emptiness and loneliness. it’s very hard to describe and probably sounds crazy. I had similar reactions to lisbeth sanders in «the girl with the dragon tattoo» or martha in «martha marcy may marlene». feeling detached from people, misunderstood, alone – I feel those things in my bones whenever I’m reminded of them. movies that focus on those characters tend to trigger that feeling, leaving me feeling empty for at least a few hours after.

---

favourite scene / moment: 

the nude scene, and not because scarlett was completely naked but because of what I said earlier – the way she managed to completely show a close-up of her body without making it sexual in any way.

---

what I didn’t like: 

honestly, I don’t know. maybe the only piece of criticism I can offer is that there was little plot, but even that isn’t really true. there was a lot of plot if you paid attention.

---

interesting trivia / fun facts: 

a lot of the movie (and almost all dialogue) was unscripted. the scenes where she is walking through glasgow or driving in her van were filmed with hidden cameras, the people in the shots only informed after it had been filmed to get the okay to use the material. those were people’s genuine reactions (for example when scarlett fell, or when she spit out the cake). the men she talks to from inside her van were random passers-by. after I learned that I rewatched the movie and it added so much to the experience from an acting standpoint.

and I just kept thinking, damn scarlett is fucking brave. not only did she show her entire body in a very exposing way, but she behaved like this alien figure in public and did things considered embarrassing or even rude without anyone knowing it was for a movie (her fall even made it into a viral meme because a paparazzo thought she was just out and about as herself and took a dive). that takes a huge amount of balls. forget hollywood blockbustery – to me, this is real fucking acting.

also, the movie was at least 4 or 5 years in the making, and scarlett and jonathan mainly developed the story and everything after they started shooting.

---

favourite quotes:

female: «so why do you shop at night then?» deformed man: «people wind me up.» female: «how?» deformed man: «they’re ignorant»

---

rating: 10/10.

honestly, watch it. tell me what you think.

[satbiym]

Both Alike in Dignity by satbiym

Summary

Breaking News!

This just in, according to the Lotus Pier Police Department, Walmart has now banned local man for driving an electric cart while drinking wine from a Pringles Can at 9AM.

Walmart Employee, Wei Wuxian, who first reported the drunk man, when asked for about this ban said, “Nah man, we’ve all been there, you know? Let he who hasn’t had the exact same urge cast the first stone!”

The man in question could not be reached for any comments.

We’ll keep you updated as the story progresses.

Next up! Is your cat plotting to kill you? Find out, after the break.

Listen.

Listen.

Lan Wangji hadn’t thought his recent (unwilling) transfer to Lotus Pier, brother’s engagement (to a complete and utter asshole) and his (first ever) heartbreak would impact him much.

But if the police officer in front of him was to be believed, he might have to reconsider some of his earlier considerations.

Like where he got his groceries and sandalwood moisturizer, because it appeared that the logistics of shopping at Walmart were now… legally complicated.

When the Walmart Employee who started it all starts challenging him at every turn, Wangji’s life is turned upside down yet again. Thus begins a journey of saving bunnies, breaking engagements and starting a cult.

… and somewhere along the way, maybe falling in love.

AKA: The not-so-tragic Romeo-and-Juliet love story that shook the foundations of Lotus Pier, now with 1000% more Walmart representation!

ACT 1 Prologue

O, here

Will I set up my everlasting rest,

And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars

From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!

Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you

The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death!

X

Lan Wangji woke up to the sound of clucking, the smell of hay and the taste of what appeared to be all the grime of the world; his mouth was - Lan Wangji was certain - now housing the occupants of Pandora’s box, presumably to accelerate Lan Wangji’s descent into the abyss from sheer, unfiltered anguish.

And no. Lan Wangji was not being a - as his dear brother would claim - drama llama, and the fact that you thought so makes you complicit in the heinous system of victim blaming. Stew in that.

However, putting aside your blatant enthusiasm for contributing to a systemic socio-economic issue, the point was, Lan Wangji had woken up disoriented, not quite ready to do so and all the more resentful for it.

By the smells and sounds assaulting his senses, he could deduce that he was not the sole occupant of the space he had somehow found himself in.

Lan Wangji forced his eyes open with a repressed hiss at the bright light that caused him to almost empty his stomach right then and there, and looked around.

Oh.

He was in a barn.

He had never been in a barn before. Lan Wangji looked around with curiosity, only to lock gazes with someone whose very glare seemed to scream: Colonizer! Begone!

It might have been his equal parts fascination and disdain for British history, but it did seem like his co-occupants weren’t very pleased about his presence in their midst.

The rooster cocked his head and, with a considerable amount of self-importance and flair for the dramatics, as if the audience had only validated his illusions of self-grandior, crowed.

Loudly.

Lan Wangji flinched back, unable to bear a sound he had only ever read about and heard in movies or ironic ringtones born from phones of people he never spoke to again, especially as his head felt like it was splitting itself apart.

Clutching his pounding head with his hands, Lan Wangji offhandedly wondered if this was how Zeus had felt right before Athena had been born out of his split skull.

The rooster continued its morning call, caring naught for Lan Wangji’s lifelong practice of vegetarianism or his regular recycling habits. The world truly was not kind to those who tried, Lan Wangji despaired.

His clothes were dirty and disheveled, hair unsightly and a rooster was loudly proclaiming that Lan Wangji was not welcome in his territory. He couldn’t remember how he had ended up in this situation. The last thing he could recall was loud laughter, turning instinctively (as if he could do anything other than heed the siren call of that laugh) and watching as We-

No.

Lan Wangji got up.

Answers could wait. He needed to first get out of here and maybe get some food. For some reason, despite it being early morning he was ravenous.

Only, before Lan Wangji could proceed with his plan, the barn door abruptly opened, hinges creaking and even silencing the self-aggrandizing rooster.

Lan Wangji looked at the newcomer with trepidation, making sure his face remained as stoic as the muscles would allow.

A woman stood with sharp light behind her, making her seem all the more ominous. Upon seeing Lan Wangji, she stopped, doorknobs still held in her hands.

They surveyed each other for a second, but before the twisting in Lan Wangji’s stomach could get too much, the woman broke out in a wide grin, open and unerringly friendly.

“Doctor! What’s a fella like you doing in a place like this?” She boomed, voice echoing off of the rafters of the barn.

Lan Wangji blinked. He had never before understood how someone could relate their complex and intricate human experiences to pithy existential questions that were carelessly tossed en masse. But, it seemed like today was a day for revelations.

Lan Wangji bowed slightly and intoned, “Apologies for trespassing, Ma’am.”

The woman’s eyes widened and her face seemed to somehow become fevered, as if she was coming down with the flu. She fluttered her hands, almost dancing in her place, and giggled, “Oh, don’t worry about it, Doctor! It must be the lack of apples in my diet!”

What.

Lan Wangji decided this conversation wasn’t worth the emotional toll as of this moment and with another bow took his leave. He very firmly did not run, he simply… power walked. It was better for the cardiovascular system.

But as he reached the door his stomach made itself heard. Lan Wangji paused, he wasn’t familiar enough with this area to be able to locate a restaurant quickly enough. He turned back, the woman was turned towards him presumably watching him leave to ensure he never darkened her doorstep again with his trespassing.

“Excuse me, Ma’am, where is the nearest restaurant that serves breakfast at this time?” He asked.

The woman laughed and said, “Doctor, I think even you’d find it difficult to find a diner serving breakfast at 2 in the afternoon.”

Lan Wangji’s eyes widened against his permission. He had never woken up past 5 AM since the day his Uncle had taken him in. But then, why…

“Your rooster. He was…” Lan Wangji trailed off, unsure how to describe the unholy shrieks of anarchy the beast had been emitting to his definitely demonic overlords.

The woman slapped her knee as she shook with laughter, “Oh, that’s just Henry for ya! He is up and cock-a-doodle-dooing at all hours of the afternoon. My husband likes to tell me it’s because he’s working on a different timezone. ‘We, Bertha,’ he says, ‘have gotten ourselves a foreign rooster!’” The woman continued, voice much softer and fonder than before.

Look, Lan Wangji was a certified veterinarian.

Lan Wangji even had a PhD!

But no amount of wet lab or theoretical knowledge of “roosters can crow at any time of the day” could prevent the inherent wrongness of the realization that the movies had lied to him.

“But if it’s lunch ya want, then there is Mellie’s diner right down the road, next to the Walmart.” She continued, positively brimming with good-natured joviality but that didn’t stop Lan Wangji’s traitorous heart from lurching at the end of her sentence.

Lan Wangji nodded, ignoring his inner turmoil and after sending one last look at the anachronistic hell bird, walked to the direction the woman had indicated towards, recent memory still evading his grasp.

Maybe it was the headache still pounding away or his avoiding thinking about recent revelations by trying to recover his lost memories, but so engrossed in his own mind was he that it was almost a surprise when he reached the diner cheerfully proclaiming itself as being Mellie’s.

Straightening his clothes and wishing he had had the chance to wash up, Lan Wangji walked in, the bell at the door chiming sweetly, announcing his presence to all the other patrons.

The diner was full, Lan Wangji noted. Not that you would know it by ear, seeing as they all fell silent and turned to look at him like he was a particularly interesting alien species.

Lan Wangji waited until a man wearing a garishly cheerful uniform walked up to him nervously.

“Table for one.” Lan Wangji said, voice level and seemingly oblivious to the way the many eyes had not moved past him.

The server nodded and with a look of confusion but as if directed by an external puppeteer as he played a role he hadn’t realized he had auditioned for, walked Lan Wangji to the nearest empty table, which was, to Lan Wangji’s consternment, right next to a raised television playing the local news.

As Lan Wangji moved, the eyes of the diner’s patrons followed.

But at this point, Lan Wangji was used to it. The stares, the open differential awe you’d give to a limited edition figurine, prized but untouchable. Alien and inalienable.

It seemed as if moving to a new town hadn’t been the answer to this particular quirk of circumstance.

The server cleared his throat, a sound that reverberated in the silence of the diner, sounding like a caricature of the act. Lan Wangji looked at him, askance.

“May I take your order, Doctor?” The server asked, seemingly flushed for some reason.

The server, Lan Wangji offhandedly noted, had gray eyes. Eyes which were somehow too reminiscent of another pair of eyes and at the same time, not gray enough to be an apropos comparison.

A pair of eyes that danced into being more silver than gray on any given day and answered more questions than Lan Wangji had been prepared to have had answered when he had moved to this town.

“Salad.” Lan Wangji intoned.

The man bobbed his head and clutching the unopened menu in his hands, walked away. Lan Wangji resumed staring ahead at nothingness and contemplated the recent disorder that had been wrought on his life: abrupt, unwelcome and without even the good grace of having sent a courtesy invitation.

Dear So-and-So,

You have been cordially invited to witness the anarchy that has befallen what many experts could identify as the remains of a perfectly fine life that didn’t deserve to have experienced the full spectrum of human emotion when it was perfectly fine without it, thank you very much.

The noise returned gradually.

Lan Wangji tuned back in just as the news anchor changed to a woman he had heard at the grocery store last week as she shouted about deadlines and leads into her phone while carefully cradling a carton of eggs.

Maybe it was that familiarity bred sustained patience for the a person’s presence, but Lan Wangji found himself turning his attention to the television as she spoke, almost jumping with preppy excitement. The excitement made sense a moment later as the television flashed with red signs alerting the other patrons of an incoming breaking news story.

She cleared her throat and clutching her ear-piece, said with alacrity, “This just in! According to the Lotus Pier Police Department, Walmart has now banned local man for driving an electric cart while drinking wine from a Pringles Can at 9AM.”

Lan Wangji blinked, Who in the world-

A video of a long-haired man grinning cheerfully flashed onto the screen and Lan Wangji’s thoughts halted to a stop.

Surely-

She continued, her voice loud and clear in the silent diner as all awaited the rest of the story, “Walmart Employee, Wei Wuxian, who first reported the drunk man, when asked for about this ban said and I quote, ‘Nah man, we’ve all been there, you know? Let he who hasn’t had the exact same urge cast the first stone!’”

The diner’s patron’s hooted and some laughed as someone yelled, “Yeah! You tell ‘em, Wei Wuxian!”

The news anchor continued, “The man in question could not be reached for any comments. We’ll keep you updated as the story progresses. Next up! Is your cat plotting to kill you? Find out, after the break.”

A cheerful anthem broke the segment, signalling a break and an advertisement of the local Walmart and its services filled the screen.

The patrons were still laughing and loudly discussing the news.

“That Wei Wuxian, he will never change!”

“Why should he? He is just perfect!”

“Oh, please. He is so out of your league. You know he is going to be the one to inherit Walmart after Madam Yu steps down as President of the franchise, right? Stop dreaming.”

Lan Wangji clenched his fist, hidden by the table.

“Forget his hopeless delusions! what about that story, right?! Who in the world could do something like that?!”

Lan Wangji turned back to his staring at nothingness, eavesdropping was prohibited, even if they were making it really hard to not eavesdrop with their loud voices and inclusion of the whole diner into their conversation.

The diner bell chimed.

Lan Wangji paid it no mind, at least until he sensed a presence coming towards him. He looked up. It was a uniformed police officer. The officer stopped before his table and waited until he had Lan Wangji’s attention before speaking “Are you Doctor Lan Wangji?”

Lan Wangji, with a foreboding feeling in his gut, inclined his head. The other diner patrons, at this point, weren’t even pretending not to be listening in. Clearly, they hadn’t been brought up by Lan Qiren.

The police officer nodded, pulling out an envelope which he handed to Lan Wangji.

“I am here to inform you that you have hereby been banned from Walmart for the foreseeable future in light of the incident that took place this morning.”

Lan Wangji blinked, a sort of rushing sound echoing in his ears. He didn’t understand.

“I am afraid I do not know what you are referring to, Officer.” Lan Wangji said, outwardly calm despite a dawning in his chest, like he had almost grabbed hold of an late-blooming epiphany but it was still dancing out of his reach.

The officer looked back flatly and said, “I am referring to your operating an electric cart while intoxicated at walmart at nine o’clock this morning.”

Lan Wangji stilled.

The epiphany had stopped dancing out of his reach, simply vanishing into a whiff of smoke and regrets.

And it appeared that so had he.

… Or so he wished.

“I am afraid you have the wrong person, Officer,” Lan Wangji said succinctly, not believing even his own words because somehow that - considering how disobedient, contradictory and unruly his life had been behaving - sounded… about right.

The Officer raised an unimpressed eyebrow and pulled out a credit-card sized object, handing it to Lan Wangji.

It was a... picture.

In it was a laughing Wei Ying, hands tied together with a white ribbon throwing up peace signs regardless, flushed and all the more beautiful for it.

It was a lovely picture and Lan Wangji wanted copies, but how was this proof of his alleged crime? If this was some kind of joke-

The officer, probably impatient with Lan Wangji’s lack of enlightenment, pointed behind Wei Ying, at…

Oh.

Yeah, alright. That was him riding an electric cart while drinking from a pringles can.

Lan Wangji nodded, pocketing the photograph, focused on making sure the internal screaming remained internal, “Noted. Anything else?”

The officer raised his other eyebrow and said grimly, “Not at this moment, no, Doctor.”

Lan Wangji inclined his head and turned back to stare at the spot he had been staring at before, dismissing the officer and uncaring as he walked away.

Everyone pretended they weren’t staring at Lan Wangji, though somehow he felt their presence more keenly than before when they hadn’t even been trying to conceal their stares, as the server walked up to him.

“Um, D-Doctor? Your meal.” The server stumbled out, hands quickly depositing the plate on the table before swiftly walking away before Lan Wangji even had a chance to look at the food.

Lan Wangji looked at his plate.

It was not a salad.

X

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;

The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:

Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;

Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:

For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

[theaterwit]

Skittles Commercial The Broadway Musical The Essay

So, this is how I spent my Sunday...

I was up at four am and at the airport by 5:15am.  But WHY?

I had a mission. I was off to meet my friend Tim in NYC.  We were about to see

Yes.  Will Eno wrote a thirty minute Broadway musical that will open and close today. One performance only. 

I’ve known Will for about twelve years and since we just finished working on The Realistic Joneses, it was pretty much a must-see. On the way in, I saw this flyer on the train.

Obviously, I called. “Will my life be transformed by 1:30 PM today?“

Keano:”Very transformed. Your spirit is strong and ready. Believe in yourself”

At 1pm, Tim and I arrive at Town Hall. It's packed.  The line to pick up tickets stretches around the corner. A woman is selling T-shirts outside the theater for $10.  (Oddly, the T-shirts *inside* the theater are $20.) The mood in the room is ... buoyant. I do not know if this is a love of Skittles, an excitement about the difficult-to-get-tickets-for event or a carefully group curated ironic positioning in relation to the event.

I'm pretty amused already, and the gentleman to my left is bouncing with enthusiasm. He's brought his 10 year old daughter. It's the first time he's been at Town Hall since performing as a child dancer in a ballet show 20 years ago. I tell him that Skittles Commercial The Broadway Musical is virtually guaranteed to be the same experience so it's great he gets to share his youth with her. It's her first live musical. I don't know what 10 year old me would have thought was going on. I ask her and she says "I like Skittles, so..." and shrugs.

I look through the program and discover to my delight that the director of this epic is none other than Sarah Benson, the artistic director of Soho Rep, a downtown theatre I have a little bit of a crush on (the theater, not the AD). Someone at DDB Needham is a subversive genius. We may never know who thought this up, but if I ever find out, they'll be the first person I buy a drink for at Soho House.  The second person (if not the same person) is Nathaniel Lawler, the copywriter/lyricist co-credited with Will on the book.

The lights dim with a musical fanfare and we're off.

And the next 30 minutes are freaking hilarious while combining a deep questioning about advertising, the communual ethics of the event itself, and a look at the performative dynamics between the show and the live audience in this hall.

And it's about mortality: death, and what we leave behind.  And Skittles. In three very short acts.

So, what actually happens in Skittles Commercial The Broadway Musical?  It's honestly difficult to describe but here's the plot as detailed as I can recall, and no doubt horribly reductive:

Part I

Several NYC residents are at a bodega before the Super Bowl. One of them is a regular, the others are there to buy contact lens solution or a snack.  No one is there to buy Skittles. The first two minutes are straight up Will Eno. The characters are in a mild and gentle existential crisis. There is a big game, but they are ambivalent toward it. There is no contact lens solution. No one seems likely to leave the store. There is no mention of Skittles, although there are several references to the futility of existence.

Then Michael C. Hall enters in an absolutely genius and ridiculous cat costume. He exudes weary despair and wanders around the store, occasionally slipping into his cat persona and batting at objects on the shelves and cat toys. Everyone on stage is excited and awkward about this celebrity appearance in the bodega.

Michael C. Hall explains that he is doing a Super Bowl commercial. No, not for TV. For the stage. He's feeling like this might be a big mistake and sings a ballad about this ambiguity ("This Might Have been a Bad Idea"). Will he still be respected for participating in such a stunt? Is this the ultimate sell-out? Or—after he tastes a Skittle—a wholehearted endorsement of a product he actually loves and will he become famous for the show we are watching at the moment. Or maybe he has to sing that because we're still in a commercial.

The bodega owner yells "NO!!" and tries to fend off something in the house with a broom. Musical flourish and he returns to the action.

At this point, someone in the audience stands up and interrupts the show to ask a question. (“Actually, a two part statement and a follow up question.”) She's trying to understand what's going on.  Another member interrupts to answer her.  A third person in the balcony complains he can't see anyone who's talking at the moment. A fourth man says this is all very well, but shouldn't we be using this time together in the spirit of the Town Hall and discuss something important, like a national high speed rail system? Multiple audience members get involved. Michael C. Hall gets increasingly impatient with all the interruptions. He's one angry kitty. He says he knew this was a terrible idea and says the show is over.  He walks off. The curtains close. House lights up.  

The interrupting audience members get up and leave, disgruntled, including several who hadn't spoken.  About a minute of silence follows. No one in the audience is talking. I am chortling (quietly).

Part II

House lights dim again, curtains open and the bodega has been replaced with an exterior of the Town Hall, complete with table selling the $10 T-Shirts.  Michael C. Hall (to be clear, I keep repeating his full name because the characters always say it in full) is leaving the theater.  The heckling "audience" from the first part descend on him (including the $10 T-shirt vendor), complaining that he abandoned the show and they didn't get the experience they had hoped for. McH argues that it is only a commercial and they didn't miss anything important. In a Pirandello-esque twist, he reminds them that they are all characters in the commercial anyway so it's all still happening. One of the women argues that she couldn't say anything horrible about Skittles ("they make you sad") because Skittles wouldn't write anything like that for a commercial.  Michael C. Hall replies "Wierdly enough, they did."  

The cast sings "Advertising Ruins Everything".  In despair and fury, they turn on Michael C. Hall and the bodega for betraying them.  They pull the exterior drop aside and rush the bodega owner and his broom, tearing apart the set in a Baccanalian frenzy.

Obviously, they kill Michael C. Hall in a flurry of lights and smoke, which brings us to...

Part III

As the smoke clears, Michael C. Hall reappears over his body, wrapped in white plastic chains in a lovely Jacob Marley/Christmas Carol moment. He's now in the afterlife, where he has a brief conversation with Winston Churchill and an even briefer conversation with Amelia Erhardt. Michael C. Hall is now doomed to walk eternity regretting his life choices. He and the chorus sing "This Definitely Was a Bad Idea".  

They eat Skittles.

End of play. The audience cheers.

While I can't recreate the wit of the thing, I'm hoping this helps everyone get a sense of the essential weirdness and theatricality of the experience. Mars was filming an archival copy, but I honestly hope that they don't release it. Benson, Eno and Hall made an inspired little piece of NYC theater mythology that probably can't be recreated but which I will enjoy recounting for years. It was a delight. Well worth 1400 miles of travel in a single day to see. Plus I didn't have to pretend to care about the Super Bowl, so the day was a win-win for me.

After the audience left, I got a farewell stage shot. Everyone off to Sardi’s for a celebration.

And If you've seen The Realistic Joneses (and if not, why not?), I will leave you with one final crossover thought:

"I like Skittles.  Skittle."

[briangroth27]

Avengers Infinity War Review

I went into Avengers: Infinity War completely bored with the drawn-out Infinity Stones plot (it’s been going on for 6 or 7 years—since First Avenger or Avengers—depending on how you want to call it and Guardians of the Galaxy devalued the Stones by calling them meaningless McGuffins), uninterested in Thanos (Josh Brolin) as a villain, and not at all ready to say goodbye to original Avengers like Captain America (Chris Evans) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). However, the movie definitely dispelled the vast majority of my doubts! It was very well-made, expertly wove a huge amount of characters together, and absolutely felt like an epic event movie. That said, while I didn't dislike it by any means, there also weren't any moments that really wowed me; I liked it a lot, but didn’t love it.

However, it’s obvious the creators did. It’s clear this movie isn’t a cash grab, but a celebration of the universe Kevin Feige and his numerous writers, directors, and actors have crafted over the past 10 years (which is a bit odd to say, given this movie gets dark). Infinity War never feels cynical or forgets to treat its heroes as heroes, despite their imperfections. Gone are the days of severe hero infighting; when a universe-threatening enemy shows up, everyone puts their differences aside to save the day (even if they bicker from time to time). I love that writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely changed the source material (Infinity Gauntlet) to make the Avengers the main characters out to stop Thanos instead of cosmic characters we haven’t met in the movies. It would’ve been extremely disappointing to have an entirely new group of characters come out of nowhere to steal our heroes’ thunder. Script-wise, this movie feels like meeting old friends again, as the writers captured the various heroes' voices well. While less-skilled writers might have washed out nuances between characters due to the similarity of trademark MCU snark, everyone still felt distinct here and there were plenty of standout comedy moments balancing the dramatic beats perfectly. Even though I haven’t previously been invested in some of these characters, everyone came off as likable. I do wish we’d gotten more character moments out of more of the heroes: all of them (somewhat necessarily, given the scope) come in as we left them in their last adventure, even though for about half of them, two years (or more, in the case of the Guardians) have passed since we last saw them. This lack of development wouldn’t be as much a problem for me if there were more solo films coming, but given we know whose contracts are expiring, it seems several Avengers have run their course in the MCU and are leaving interesting stories on the table. I have no problem with a universe-threatening villain in a sprawling adventure, but given the choice between that and digging into the characters more, I’d prefer solo films. Still, there’s only so much screentime the acting was strong across the board; even when the script didn’t give some actors a lot to work with, they were able to play to their characters’ iconic true north really well. The writers and the Russo Brothers brought everyone together seamlessly, creating several fun new dynamics. Tony (Robert Downey, Jr.), Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), and Star-Lord’s (Chris Pratt) similar attitudes irked each other perfectly while Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), and Teen Groot (Vin Diesel) came together organically and Captain America’s crew mixing with the heroes of Wakanda felt totally natural.

Full Spoilers...

There are a lot of character beats I loved. Black Widow consistently being the deadliest of the Avengers was great (and I’d love to see these skills put to the test as her enemies come after her in a solo film, allowing her to finally clear her Red Ledger), and her kickass team-up with Okoye (Danai Gurira) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) was a great (if brief) showcase of the MCU’s heroic women. Likewise, I loved that Shuri (Letitia Wright) was the obvious person to turn to when it came to super-science, and her reaction to Stark and Banner’s (Mark Ruffalo) construction of Vision (Paul Bettany) made it absolutely clear that her tech abilities far outstrip theirs. I’ll take any Shuri appearance I can get and I wonder if she'll get to be the Black Panther in her brother's (Chadwick Boseman) absence like in the comics. I do wish she could’ve met Peter Parker (Tom Holland) and that they could’ve become science besties. Spidey’s enthusiasm for superheroics and his drive to protect his neighborhood was a breath of fresh air, particularly when played against the more cynical characters. I do think his willingness to come up with a plan to kill a villain was a little alarming morally, but otherwise I love his youthful energy. I wish we could’ve seen the fallout of Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) discovering Peter is Spider-man at the end of Homecoming as part of Peter’s introduction here, because that certainly needs to be dealt with onscreen. Maybe he could’ve finally said “with great power comes great responsibility” and mentioned Ben in that moment, which would also fuel his decision not to leave when Tony tells him to get off the ship. I get the urgency of giving Peter the Iron Spider suit (which looks much better than in the comics), but I was kinda bummed that we’re yet again having Tony hand all these toys to Peter instead of Peter developing them himself (I prefer a self-sufficient Spidey using homemade tech). Speaking of Tony, it was great to see him come up against egos as big as his, particularly when Star-Lord threw his plan away outright and came up with a better one. His reaction to Strange’s magic was what you’d expect from Stark encountering the supernatural and I wish they’d had time to dig into a science/mysticism dichotomy between them a bit more. Tony’s arc of telling Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow) about wanting to have kids to losing his surrogate son Peter at the end was much more emotional than the “last man standing” fear vision he had in Age of Ultron. I thought his reluctance to call Steve as the crisis started was a fine—if underwhelming—continuation of their rift from Civil War, though I think it’s worth noting that he kept the flip phone on him for use at a moment’s notice (even if he didn’t end up calling Rogers personally).

Steve's "We don't trade lives" is a great motto and, like others have noted, it’s the answer to Thanos’ argument. I just hope it's not reversed in the next installment by the original Avengers sacrificing themselves for Thanos' victims. I also liked that they dealt with the potential dissonance with Cap sacrificing himself at the end of First Avenger, though Banner's justification was essentially that Steve didn't have a choice. I worry that Cap and the others will be forced into a place where they don't have a choice in Avengers 4. It would’ve been nice to dig into Cap’s thoughts on having become a nomadic vigilante after the events of Civil War and to at least hear what he and his crew have been facing in that time. I’m glad he hasn’t lost his upstanding personality, but he, Nat, and Sam (Anthony Mackie) don’t seem very changed by their time on the run, which felt like a missed opportunity: you’d think losing the Avengers’ insulation would be the perfect time to expose Steve to how the common people’s ideals and dreams have changed, which would be a fantastic conflict for him. I really wish we were getting one more solo Cap film to deal with just that: are his ideals outdated? What kind of symbol does America want now, and does he need to remind us of what we should be aiming for? What of citizens who spout hate and call it patriotism? Maybe they can persuade Evans to come back for a Logan-scale solo film set before Infinity War to explore this kind of thing. Still, it was good to see Steve and Bucky (Sebastian Stan) reunite, but I wish we (and Rogers) had gotten an idea of Bucky's newfound peace. I like the idea of Bucky finding his place as White Wolf in Wakanda instead of taking over as Captain America, so some idea of what he's been doing beyond recovering would've been nice. I wish that Cap's other bestie, Sam, had gotten more than an extended cameo here; at the very least, both he and Rhodey (Don Cheadle) should've have something to say upon seeing Wakanda for the first time (as pointed out here). I guess the writers wanted to focus on the characters who'd be vanishing so their loss would hit harder—and the original heroes are said to get the spotlight in the next film before we say goodbye—but small moments like that would've added a lot (especially as Sam vanished). However, I was glad to hear Rhodey had turned on the Sokovia Accords in the time since Civil War; it seems all the heroes on Tony’s side have realized how bad an idea it is, which is a nice vindication for Cap (Spidey hasn't signed or commented on them at all, perhaps because he's a minor and isn't thinking about the big picture).

It would've been nice to see more of how Wakanda had begun opening itself to the world beyond staging the final battle there. Does T’Challa have a specific plan for his outreach centers? Okoye's comment about imagining Wakanda taking part in the Olympics or getting a Starbucks was funny, but I wanted more. More pointedly, how do the people view T'Challa's decision? Is there any dissension, especially when his choice immediately brings a war to their doorstep? I really would’ve liked to see T’Challa convincing the people to take on this struggle (at the very least, Black Panther 2 needs to discuss this). If nothing else, his role as King could’ve made him a starker contrast to the other heroes. It seems T’Challa and Cap’s strategy held off Thanos’ forces long enough for Shuri to copy Vision’s AI, so even though his body was destroyed he could come back though honestly I'm not sure he's necessary. I don't really get Vision, so it could just be me, but his story seems to have come to an end. I appreciate that he isn't written like a cliché robot seeking humanity (or seeking to eliminate it), but his purely analytical outlook from Age of Ultron and Civil War seems to have largely faded, he isn't protecting the world like Stark created him to at all (as a friend of mine pointed out), he seems potentially too powerful to fully use his abilities, and I don't really see what he adds to the overall universe at this point. I do buy his love for Wanda (and hers for him) as well as their connection over the mysteriousness of their origins, though. Given all she's been through and the incident that sparked the Sokovia Accords, I don't blame Wanda for wanting a normal life with Vision. However, it would've been nice to get a glimpse of her view on the world post-Civil War and how she felt about being tied to a cosmic force like the Infinity Stones that already mutated her and her brother and now threatened her love. I liked the twist that Wanda could destroy the Mind Stone since it was used to create her powers and that she was perhaps the most powerful Avenger. One of the other most powerful, Hulk, got an unexpected arc that didn't fully land for me. I'm all for Hulk having his own character development, but if his refusal to show himself really was fear after his beating from Thanos (as fans have speculated), that wasn't clear. Instead, it felt like they played Banner's inability to transform as a joke. I was also underwhelmed by the moment touching on the Bruce/Nat relationship. I'm not a fan of that relationship in general—she doesn't need to date anyone, but if she were going to, she and Cap had the best chemistry and "opposites attract" spark—but this is what we've got and they need to deal with it. The awkwardness of their reunion didn't cut it for me.

As far as reunions go, it was a bummer that Thor and Loki’s (Tom HIddleston) peace after Ragnarok was immediately cut short here. While I felt it was time for Loki’s death—too many wishy-washy alliances and betrayals over the years wore out his welcome for me and Ragnarok established that he was aiming to be a lazy king, defanging his villainy—I’m glad he finished his arc and found real peace with Thor. I thought telling Thanos to kill his brother felt a little off at first, but I suppose making it seem like he’d put up a fight to keep the Tesseract was part of his elaborate plan to try to kill Thanos (as was bringing up that he’d worked for him before). It was also a little disappointing that the Asgardians took another huge hit to their population here and are apparently just left floating in space. I certainly hope Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) survived and can join the fight to get revenge on Thanos; losing so many of her people again has got to have an impact and I'd love to see the lessons about heroism Thor imparted to her inspire her to stand up rather than run away this time. Maybe she could become something of a queen of Asgard and lead the survivors to a new home! Even beyond losing half of his people, Thor going over all the family and friends he’d lost with Rocket was a somber moment and Rocket’s attempts at consolation were a nice gesture. I felt like Infinity War found a perfect balance of Thor’s humorous and serious sides, and I hope it sticks around. The bond Thor and Rocket developed was a highlight of the film, even if their quest to get Thor a new weapon a movie after establishing he didn’t need one was a little odd (as others have noted). I can’t wait to see how Rocket grows after losing all his family, especially now that we know Teen Groot’s last word to him was “Dad…” That’s heartbreaking! Moody Teen Groot was a very entertaining addition to the Guardians and they got a lot of mileage out of making the Guardians his “parents.” Mantis (Pom Klementieff) is another strong addition who gelled well with the rest of her crew thanks to her enthusiasm for “kicking names and taking ass!” I’m glad she stuck around after Guardians 2. I was impressed that she got to play such an important and powerful role against Thanos when they tried getting his glove off. I still prefer Drax’s (Dave Bautista) original “takes everything literally” personality from the first Guardians, but I liked his humor here a lot better than in the second film (where it seemed to settle on “states the obvious” instead). “Perfecting” invisibility by standing totally still was hilarious! I’m glad he got a chance to avenge his family, even if it didn’t work out and nearly cost them everything. If only Quill had learned a lesson from that failure! I don't think the movies should follow the comics in having Thanos see the error of his ways while Nebula (Karen Gillan) becomes the real villain. It's a cliché that a woman achieves ultimate power only to become evil, so I’d be much more interested in seeing her interact with Tony (maybe they make something of their biology-infused tech similarities?) than going off the deep end. True Thanos' torture of her was horrific, but I'd like to see her take a healthier path instead of spiraling into insanity after all the pain she's had to endure.

I was wary of Gamora (Zoe Saldana) making Quill promise to kill her if things went bad in their attempt to stop Thanos from collecting all the Stones because she knew where the Soul Stone was hidden, as it seemed like that could lead to fridging her. Ultimately, though, that request being her choice and the fact that she was killed for more than fueling Quill's angst avoided that (though she does fuel Thanos’). I don't have a problem with him getting emotional and punching Thanos when he found out about Gamora, but I wish that scene had been staged differently. I thought we got a good amount of range from Pratt in the film, from that sadness to his romance with Gamora to bickering with Stark to the comedy surrounding his confidence issues around Thor. Star-Lord copying Thor's accent was unexpectedly fun and it was great to see Stark's dismissive attitude thrown back in his face. The similarities between Stark and Strange were also fun, and I enjoyed Strange's completely different point of view from everyone else when it came to saving the day: he had no problem sacrificing anyone. That perspective is one I would've thought would belong to someone with universal experience like Thor or who’s coldly calculating like Vision, but it was nice to see a human thinking beyond their planet, even if I agree with Cap's "we don't trade lives" philosophy and not Strange's "sacrifice whoever it takes" outlook. I thought he'd given Thanos something other than the Time Stone when he traded it "to save Tony," and like a friend of mine suggested, he probably rigged it in some way to give the heroes a chance.

I thought it was incredible that, despite some iffy CGI in a couple of wide shots, Josh Brolin was able to emote so clearly as Thanos. I'm not sure I've seen a CGI villain in a live-action movie done this well technically, and it certainly helped that the writers let Thanos experience loss and remorse. I was impressed they included his emotional side and gave him an arc, but I do have an issue with that remorse: despite Brolin selling the feeling of a man who thought he was giving up what he loved most, Gamora is right and what he's framed as love is anything but. It's abuse and as others have pointed out, I'm not sure why he loved Gamora in the first place. His "adoption"/kidnapping of her felt a little random and turning her face away from the murder of half her people did nothing to convince me he was a caring parent (I'm also unclear as to why she was so transfixed by a knife he gave her that she forgot about her missing mom), nor do the facts that he turned her into an assassin and later killed her. As a friend pointed out, I wish we’d seen more focus on Gamora's view of being raised by Thanos in Guardians 2 to increase the complexity of their relationship. Even if we had (and her laughing in his face when she finds out he has to sacrifice something he loves gives us a good indication of it), I still wouldn’t sympathize with Thanos…if he really loved her, he would’ve let her live and would’ve abandoned his plan when it came down to choosing between them. The more I think about it, the more troubled I am by the implications of the Soul Stone trade. Since Thanos' task is to sacrifice something he loves and he's successful, it implies that whatever cosmic judgment holds the Stone agrees that what he felt for Gamora is love. Unless the Young Gamora (Ariana Greenblatt) in the Stone at the end is a punishment to torture him for an impure trade (which I'd be fine with)—I imagine she’s actually adult Gamora using a form that will turn the screws on Thanos harder, and her Soul enduring there will allow her to come back to life—this is a pretty messed-up message and it’s my biggest issue with the movie. 

I would've preferred keeping Thanos' comic motivation of becoming the universe's greatest killer to impress the physical embodiment of Death by showing what an awesome guy he is (to which she shrugs, having done better herself); playing the galaxy's greatest scourge as a Nice Guy would've been an unexpected way to make him relatable and of the moment without really having to modernize him at all. That said, trying to kill half the universe to save it from overpopulation is a fine egomaniacal supervillain motivation (no, internet thinkpieces, he is not a hero), even if I wish the heroes had pointed out the flaws in his logic (as others have pointed out online) and how foolish this plan is. For example, unless he also makes the survivors immortal and sterile, people will still breed and kill each other, throwing his precious balance out of whack within a generation or two (and his sunset retirement at the end doesn't imply he thinks he’ll have to conduct regular cullings). He also gives no consideration to how the resources he's "saved" will be used on each planet, leading me to think that things are going to immediately descend into chaos as the survivors try to take all they can (especially if the majority of any given people's governments survived to maintain their status quo). And as I've seen elsewhere, what if a people were already using resources responsibly and he killed them without bothering to check? Better yet, why doesn't he just create an infinite set of resources with his all-powerful glove? Forcing him to confront flaws in his plan would give us more insight into his thought process, or at least the justification he's sold himself. If the Gauntlet can only destroy and not create for some reason, explaining that would've served to make Thanos seem more backed into a corner and desperate, making his thought process seem slightly more "necessary." Instead, he comes off as a lunatic (yes, he’s known as the Mad Titan) who couldn't get over his one terrible idea because he confused the mismanagement of Titan's resources with proof he was right and not crazy. I've seen comments suggesting he be seen as a conservative politician, only concerned with fawning over his ideology instead of seeing the detrimental effects it has on the people, and that's not a bad take: looking at him as an outdated fringe "visionary" who won't learn/evolve his thinking or question his way of doing things helps quite a bit. I feel like these questions and the sheer outlandishness of his plot ranks him far below the best MCU villains like Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan), Vulture (Michael Keaton), and Hela (Cate Blanchett), who all went to terrible extremes, but at least had motivations that were somewhat understandable and tethered to reality. He was still a powerful threat who truly required all the heroes working together, though.

Thanos' "children" (Terry Notary, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, Carrie Coon, Michael James Shaw, Monique Ganderton) were fine as lackeys, which is all they needed to be. I wish X-men Apocalypse had taken a similar tack with the Horsemen instead of using famous mutants: we don't need to know characters who are essentially zealot thugs. I did appreciate how warped they were to Thanos' way of thinking, though. They also proved to be worthy matches for the heroes before facing the Mad Titan himself.

Infinity War has an incredible sense of scope, giving the impression that the Marvel cosmos are vast, but it was odd they were largely devoid of people (even on Earth). Showing more than just wreckage would've upped the stakes and impact of Thanos' climactic actions while also showing the overpopulation “problem” he seeks to solve. The pacing moves the film along really well, even with the film being as packed as it is (though it doesn’t feel overstuffed). I loved that they were willing to have imaginative fun with the Infinity Gauntlet's powers, like turning laser blasts into bubbles, throwing a moon at our heroes, literally unraveling Mantis, and turning Drax into blocks. I’m all for more weirdness like that! The action is thrilling and moves very well for the vast majority of the film, with one major exception. A pivotal battle with Thanos on Titan has Iron Man, Spidey, Strange, and several Guardians struggling to hold him long enough to steal his Gauntlet. They almost succeed, but Star-Lord messes up his own plan (when it's revealed Gamora is dead) by punching Thanos in the face, knocking Mantis (who's psychically subduing him) away and freeing Thanos. I don't have a problem with Quill reacting to the news emotionally, but the staging of the scene offers at least two ways the heroes could've won right there: Nebula does nothing when she could've been stabbing Thanos in the face, and either she or Strange could’ve cut off his arm to free the Gauntlet. I know the movie can't end there, so knock Nebula out or otherwise busy her and Strange before writing yourself into a situation that raises these questions. Or they could've let Thanos lose his arm, yet still regain the glove through brute force or cunning before the heroes could get a handle on how to use it: showing him as a scrappy underdog for a moment would make him look more dangerous (and more appealing to the audience). 

Despite an ad campaign suggesting a culmination of the MCU, Infinity War feels more like a seamless continuation of it. I'm glad they hit the ground running and didn't take the time to re-introduce everyone, except when it made sense, like the Guardians and Thor meeting for the first time. This will be detrimental for anyone coming into the film having missed earlier entries, but I think it works for this series. Reveals of familiar characters and locations, like Cap and Wakanda, made me smile. It was also great to finally get an answer to a dangling question about Red Skull's (recast with Ross Marquand) whereabouts in a completely unexpected way! I understand why they ended the movie on the beat they did, but part of me wishes this hadn't been a two-parter: I'd like there to be more adventures than just Thanos Round Two. I don't have a problem with the MCU going on indefinitely, but I do want them to take the time to continually develop and change the characters, and disparate threats would be a great way to challenge them differently. Between changes, we also need to spend time in their status quos to see how they react to each new normal. That's the weakness of movies vs. shows, though, and it seems highly unlikely the MCU is willing to give that much time to its movie heroes.

Infinity War felt like a true comic book crossover and that's the direction I want the Avengers films to take: they should be the crossovers with MCU-altering events while the solo franchises are just that, exploring the worlds of each character while focusing on character development. However, like the revolving door of death in the comics, a lot of the impact of this finale is going to come down to how the fallout is handled. I feel there are three necessary components to making the ending of Infinity War matter: the survivors need to be changed by losing their friends and half the general populace, the victims need to be changed by their experience as well, and we need to see what happened to the world in the wake of Thanos' Snap. Regardless of how the Snap is undone, everyone should remember what happened to give the events weight. Since I don't think Infinity War 2 will have time to deal with (and say a final goodbye to) the original Avengers, let everyone have a moment to shine, chase down Thanos, undo what he did, and really explore the state of the post-Snap world (one scene of Cap and Co. stopping a riot or something and saying "it's gotten crazy out here" would be deeply unsatisfying IMO), the world-building should be mostly left to the MCU offerings that are coming out next. Ant-Man & the Wasp and Captain Marvel are coming out before Infinity War 2, but Ant-Man is supposedly happening concurrently with/just before Infinity War and Captain Marvel is set in the 1990s. However, Luke Cage Season 2, Cloak & Dagger, and possibly The Runaways Season 2 would all fall into this range and could explore the world from several different angles. I thought the mass vanishing would've been the perfect chance to finally let the TV characters join the Avengers in a unified universe, but I'll settle for the shows handling the fallout.

There's so much potential with this scenario that it would be a massive wasted opportunity not to do anything with it. With the world losing half its population, there are plenty of opportunities for supervillains (or just regular people) to exploit the problem. Do people stop caring about values and basic decency in a world where half the planet can vanish? Are they all hoarding resources and killing each other over them, fearing another culling? Are there others who find their inner, everyday hero and help their fellow people? Maybe superheroes are forced to take extreme measures to defend their local turf. What happens to religion? Do some people think this is the Rapture (a critic referred to it as "the Snapture," which might be perfect)? Are there new religious beliefs rising out of this; perhaps a cult that believes in what the Snap "accomplished?" Society as we know it could crumble and every nation could be in danger of falling. This is the perfect time for superheroes to step up and for SHIELD to finally reclaim its position as a global force for good. It’s a shame Agents of SHIELD isn’t coming back until the summer after Infinity War 2, since it would’ve been the ideal vehicle to explore this world. Even when Infinity War 2 undoes this, it'll only have weight if everyone remembers what happened, so SHIELD and other heroes working to save everyone from themselves wouldn't be in vain even if the Avengers are the ones who actually save the world. No matter what happens, half the population vanishing is a fascinating premise fraught with drama, and something in the MCU needs to explore it; if they gloss over all that, this will have been truly empty.

That emptiness is a problem I had with a lot of the deaths. It's not just that it's clear these heroes will be brought back—if they remember what happened and it changes them, it won't be pointless—but they didn't die for anything. They were slaughtered for nothing, which left a bad taste in my mouth; if they'd at least chosen to go out fighting or if Thanos cared about who he was killing instead of being randomly "fair" about it, I feel like I would've felt them more. I was disappointed to see a few of them go, like T'Challa, but it was Tom Holland who really got me with his "I don't wanna go." That was heartbreaking and nearly made me cry!

It would be nice if the Defenders who survived the Snap got promoted to Avengers status in the interim, but I doubt that will happen. I've seen suggestions elsewhere that the heroes who got Snapped could form a "New Avengers" within the Soul Stone to fight their way out and that could be cool, but I hope the focus of Infinity War 2 is on the original six Avengers since it will probably be their last mission. They can deal with what the Snapped heroes went through in their future solo films.

I think it'd be cool if Nick Fury's (Samuel L. Jackson) beeper actually contacted Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) in the 90s (just chalk the time zone difference up to Kree or Skrull tech). This could be why he chose to summon her for help: being in the past, she wouldn't be affected by the disintegration wave.

In terms of the longer-term plans, I don't want another long build-up to something; I hope Infinity War 2 is the end of long-form plotting in the MCU, at least for the next few phases. We don't need a years-long build-up to Secret Wars or something, and not every threat has to spring from the previous one in some manner.

 Infinity War is big, fun, and action-packed with plenty of crowd-pleasing moments (and some that truly pull at your heartstrings), but it's not one of my favorite MCU films. I think it falls somewhere in the middle, but in terms of spectacle it's one of their finest outings. It's definitely worth a trip to the theater!

  Check out more of my reviews, opinions, theories, and original short stories here!

[attackingstarfish]

Just finished LoZ: Wind Waker...

I normally never post, but I recently wrapped up Wind Waker HD (Yes, I’m late to the party), and it is so far removed from the usual Zelda fare that I just had to compile my thoughts. And if I’m compiling my thoughts, I might as well yell them into the void.

You will have to show me physical proof that Wind Waker is not Ocarina of Time from the Opposite Dimension, where windows are the primary means of entering your house and people worship at the altar of Hello Games, because despite me being almost exactly as satisfied with Wind Waker HD as I was with Ocarina of Time 3D, the greatest sources of joy are flipped with the biggest annoyances between the two games.

Yay!

Breath of the Wild had won me over in part because the entire world felt cohesive; you could go anywhere on the map without having to encounter a single loading screen, and I had no idea Wind Waker did the same thing. The Great Sea is a vast trove of trees, pirates, and treasure, with the occasional giant squid attack or salutation from the Flying Dutchman. Each of the 49 segments contains an island that is often unique in purpose, and you’re very rarely sent to a specific island for a specific item by a specific character. Instead, the entire overworld becomes open to you as soon as you grab your sail on Windfall Island, and you have a literal sea of knowledge before you as the 49 fish that serve as your guidebook to the game take their places.

A couple of islands start off closed, unable to be reached until you get the Iron Boots or the Bow or the Hulk Hogan suplex manual, but that’s it as far as what you can’t reach, and the squares of ocean containing even these islands can be reached as early as any other zone, fish and all. The fish are easy to spot, splashing around near their respective region’s landmass, and to reward taking to initiative to explore, a surprising amount of what they tell you can be put to use immediately, like the location of the all-new extra-fast wind-changing sail the remake’s added to speed up travel. Good thing, too, because there’s a point where travel time stops being buildup and becomes padding, especially when you have to dance a round of Hands Up every time you want to change direction. Later in the game, when you’re better equipped, you could stop by one of those islands you couldn’t figure out earlier on, and figure out what to do with just one more trip around the border. Nothing pops up on your map to indicate that suddenly you’re able to access anything new, and your boat doesn’t  wonder whether the eastmost pillar on island A7 has met any nice hookshot targets lately. The game trusts that you can navigate the uses for your gear yourself, which I value. Fewer tutorials, more expectations.

Even the story serves the game’s hands-off attitude. Ocarina starts with Link going into the Deku Tree to purge it of some unspecified evil (What exactly does Gohma do in there, anyway?) before coming out to be told of his fate to kill a man he has never met before and become Hyrule’s savior. Link takes up the mantle in that game only because the gods who have not and will never make a proper appearance want him to do it. Meanwhile, Wind Waker opens with Link putting on the green tunic to make his grandmother happy for a day, right before his sister, who clearly adores him, gets kidnapped by a giant bird, and he teams up with pirates to sneak into a fortress and rescue her but instead gets bitch-slapped by Ganondorf, who turns out to own the place and the bird. In addition to being awesome because pirates kick ass, Link’s introduction to the man who wants him dead feels a lot more natural here, and Ganondorf doesn’t even come into the plot for real until the second half of the game. Link’s got a sister to save, and everything he’ll do to accomplish that goal will demonstrate him to be worthy of the Master Sword, which itself seems to prefer this organic sort of journey, seeing as the Link who set out to get the Master Sword from the beginning ended up locked in solitary confinement by the thing while it allowed the man it was created to kill to instead take over the world. Evidently the Master Sword is a strong, independent blade beholden to no one who can’t think for themselves, and anyone who disagrees can spend some quality time with the nice old man who loves to talk and talk and talk and talk.

The characters in Wind Waker feel more on the dynamic side than Ocarina’s. At first I was a bit surprised that i felt that way considering Ocarina had you view two very different versions of Hyrule, but Ocarina’s characters either don’t change in personality much between time periods or don’t make an appearance in one of the two at all. Talon’s still lazy in the future, the carpenters are still idiots, the Lake Hylia scientist is still mad, the Kokiri of course don’t change at all, you see none of the Zoras after their caves are frozen over, etc. Not to mention Ganondorf, who doesn’t get much beyond “evil Gerudo thief king who wants to take over the world because of reasons,” even if he gets a bit further than many movie/game villains and is able to demonstrate exactly what he’d do while in charge and why he’s so dangerous. Wind Waker, meanwhile, has even a fair few one-off characters with their own tiny arcs. Mila goes from stuck-up rich kid to poor as dirt and struggling to adapt, so out of her element that she resorts to stealing money from her new boss until Link catches her and helps her stay true to herself in the future. Maggie’s father starts out so desperate for Link to save his daughter that he will annoyingly stop you in your tracks every time he so much as glimpses you and repeat his pleas for help, but after Maggie is returned home and he strikes it rich through no deed of his own, he decides everyone else is beneath him and starts bitching at Link, the Rito postman, and anyone who thinks repeatedly boasting about your own fabulous wealth makes for poor dinner conversation. Even Ganondorf himself is given more than a simple desire to take over Hyrule this time around, as his belief that the rest of the kingdom deserves to suffer the way the Gerudo suffered in the desert is brought to light. 

Boo!

Part of the reason I liked the dungeons in Ocarina of Time so much is that they had a way of coming full circle at the end, or even a smaller full circle in the middle. You’d come across something at the beginning, go “Huh, that looks cool,” then move on. An hour later, BOOM, payoff, and likely in a way you didn’t even expect. The web serving as the floor in the Deku Tree and the blue stone head at the back of Dodongo’s Cavern come to mind. Plus, there were often open rooms that allowed you to get a handle on where everything else was relative to you, and gaze upon areas you’ll visit once you find the Hookshot or Hover Boots. Wind Waker’s dungeons are the antithesis of the rest of the game, they’re cramped and, for the first half of the game, overly linear. Dragon Roost never musters up much more challenge than “kill enemy in front of you, go through door in front of you, repeat,” a far cry from the wall-climbing around the first half of the Deku Tree. Re-hydrating the bombs to get into the place is arguably as clever as you get with it, which for me is the perfect representation of the amount of thought that went into everything surrounding the dungeons vs. the amount of thought that went into the dungeons. And aside from those spinning leaf wheels in Forbidden Woods that wouldn’t know what a wind was if they were fired for incompetence and forced to spend the rest of their lives at its mercy, this is best illustrated during the teamwork-based dungeons with Medli and Makar toward the end of the game .

Considering how often you have to switch between characters to set up a Mirror Shield reflect or to hit a switch or to plant a seed or because you got hit fucking once, it would’ve been nice not to have to do half the Macarena every time you want to switch to your companion’s viewpoint. It also would’ve been nice if the controls of your partners didn’t make me want to offer them to the Floormasters. That said, Medli wasn’t awful. Yes, her flight was a bit hard to direct, there was no way to halt her Link-bearing glide without throwing her, and the number of times you had to hop on the Wind Waker was a pain, but the irritation was diminished when lot of her roles involved standing still and shining light while you played as the character the game actually put work into handling. Plus, my wave of enthusiasm from the first moment I walked under a spotlight while carrying her and saw the light reflect lasted me quite a ways into the dungeon, so my memories of the Earth Temple are okay enough.

On the other hand, Makar. (I still call him Oaki, which should indicate how memorable Makar’s character is) When flying with Medli, all that was required was good aim when leaping off any ledge you were leaving, whether she was on her own or supporting Link. Makar has to fly in patterns more complex than straight lines, so naturally his controls are twice as stupid. You have to repeatedly press A to fly, speeding up or slowing down your button presses to increase or decrease the amount of lift as you go. Button mashing as a recurring mechanic, yay. Its imprecise nature becomes worse when the vertical nature of the dungeon’s biggest room has Makar rack up a ton of momentum from the amount of rising and falling he’ll be doing, leaving you struggling to adjust your frequency to keep up, with aerial endurance that makes you wonder how the Korok seed-spreading ritual has not led them to extinction by mass drowning. Fortunately, there’s a giant fan you can activate at the bottom of the room to blow yourself upward and kill any chance you have at forward progress. You’d think that being able to coast to the top of everything would be a good thing, but being in the fan’s range of “anywhere” causes Makar to eschew any direction that isn’t straight up (as his flight meter drains!), when running out of flight power has the same effect but downwards. If that wind catches you while you’re trying to cross the room, you’re left to watch as Makar is frozen in place while his energy drains to zero, wait for the fan to stop, fall several stories to the bottom of the room, and walk about two feet toward where you want to go before the fan activates again and restarts the cycle. And that’s assuming one of the many flying enemies doesn’t brush Makar and throw the camera back behind a Link who’s attempting to keep calm by doing the wave.

The combat took some getting used to. Ocarina’s combat was fine; it was easy to tell what you were in range to hit, and timing your swings properly could get shield-wielding enemies like Stalfos in a loop where continually accurate shots would finish them in seconds. In Wind Waker, Link’s attacks don’t reach quite as far as his sword would indicate; you’d think the gods would make sure their magical evil-smiting blade is most capable at the end that goes in the King of Evil, but I guess not. “Just The Tip” is a no-no with these monsters, so it’s either impale them in full or let them dominate you.

Meanwhile, you have two options for your targeting system, and they both suck. You either hold down L as long as you want to keep an enemy targeted, which before long will cause your left index finger to rebel against its draconian master, or press the button once to start targeting and press it again to target a different enemy, leaving you with no way to stop targeting the enemies and put an arrow in the switch. This wasn’t that big a deal in Ocarina, since Link had a wider vertical range with the bow and there were never many enemies hounding you  when there was another immediate objective to complete, but in Wind Waker, you can expect a rainbow of respawning Chu’s to ambush you around the clock. It sours a lot of dungeons and dungeon-themed areas for me. That’s why the Wind Waker experience was so surprising; the dungeons were a slog to get through and felt less like a collection of clever puzzle ideas suiting each region’s theme and more like an obligation to throw in because it’s Zelda, yet everything surrounding them felt engaging and intriguing enough to make me want to keep playing and find out what happened to everyone.

(Tower of the Gods was pretty cool, too.)

[monaisme]

Day 15: “run, don’t look back”

Day 15: “run, don’t look back”

Coming to after being drugged was always an experience, but none had ever been like this.

The feel of the wooden chair was familiar, as was the feel of metal on his wrists bound behind him. He pulled in a deep breath, trying to clear his head. He could still feel his Starkwatch on his wrist, which Peter and Mr. Stark had retrofitted with a tracker and emergency webshooter, so that was good. All of this together meant this was a Mr. Stark thing and they were amateurs, giving Peter the advantage.

But... there was something he was supposed to remember—something that made this one different from the other times. He’d been standing outside and... and then the van pulled up? That was all pretty standard, but what else was he supposed to remember?

And then, as he racked his brain, the soft sound came from behind him.

“Peter-peter-bo-beeter-banana-fana-fo-feeter, me-mi-mo-meeter, Pee-ter.”

Peter chuckled low, Ned and that stupid song. He’d sing it every day on the school bus back when... wait?

Peter’s eyes flew open. “Ned!”

The singing stopped, “Peter? Are you awake? Oh, please-please-pleeeez be awake!” Ned was moving behind Peter, probably bound the same way as Peter. He kept going, “Peter, you never told me being kidnapped was so boring and my butt’s asleep and oh, my gosh, I have to pee so bad!”

Oh, no. Peter definitely wasn’t with it enough to process all of that, so he interrupted Ned before he completely lost the plot. “Ned, just gimme a sec.” Peter dropped his head to his chest and centered himself as much as he could. He wished he could close his eyes again to take a nap but he didn’t have that luxury. The drugs were already clearing his system, Peter knew, it just helped to wake up fresh.

Ugh.

Ned had seemed to calm himself during Peter’s pause. “Um, Peter, are you okay?”

Peter was nodding before he’d even opened his mouth, still feeling a little disconnected. “Yeah, just coming off of whatever they gave me.” Peter thought for a second, then asked, “How are you okay? Shouldn’t you still be out?”

Ned shifted behind him. “I was never knocked out,” he answered. “I don’t think they planned to grab anyone other than you, ‘cuz they only had the one syringe and then I came out of the game store and saw them and yelled and they totally freaked out, man. It was awesome!” Ned stopped talking.

Peter waited for him to jump in with some more tidbits, but it seemed that Ned’s enthusiasm had run out. “Ned? You didn’t answer. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ned definitely sounded subdued. “I might have a bruise or two from when they tossed me in the van, but I listened so they pretty much left me alone.” He stopped talking for a minute but then started up again, “And so you know, I’m totally not worried, ‘cuz, duh! I’m with Spider-Man right now and Iron Man will be showing up sometime soon to kick ass, and that will be totally amazing, so don’t worry about that, but...” Ned sounded like he was really thinking about things.

“Ned?”

“I’m telling you this, Pete, ‘cuz you’re like my brother and you won’t judge me. I’m worried that my mom will be freaking out ‘cuz we didn’t make it back to the apartment when we said we would. You know that my dad just had the heart attack and she’s already so stressed about everything...” Peter felt Ned shrug in his chair. “That’s all it is, you know? I’ve just been stuck in my head a bit while you were out.”

They both got quiet then.

“Yeah.” Peter thought about Mr. And Mrs. Leeds, who were like an extra set of parents to him. He could honestly say that he loved them, and would do anything to get Ned home to them. Dude was his ‘Guy in the Chair,’ after all, and he needed to get him back... which meant it was time to get to work. “Ned, it’s time to focus. Mr. Stark’s gotta be tracking me by now, but I’m not gonna wait for Mr. Stark unless we need to, got it?”

“Got it,” Ned replied. “What do you need from me?”

Peter looked around the room. Of course they’d be trapped in a cement room in a warehouse somewhere—villains were so cliché sometimes. He took in the layout, and of course they put the two of them in a room with a window. Yes, it was one of those super high, almost a skylight but it was in the wall type of windows, but he was Spider-Man, and he was gonna get crap done.

“Okay, Ned.” Peter was feeling invigorated at the chance to get out. “I’ve got a plan, and it’s super complicated. Ready?”

Ned nodded emphatically behind him. “Ready.”

“Alright, I’m gonna climb that wall there and break the window—“

“Okay?”

“And then, I’m gonna carry you up that wall—“

“Okay?”

“And then we’re gonna go out the window—“

“Okay? And...?”

“And then we’re gonna drop to the ground and run like hell. Got it?”

There was a beat of silence, and then—

Ned snorted, “You, Mr. Parker, are such an asshole. Do your fans know this about you?”

Peter grinned big even though Ned couldn’t see it. “It’s a secret. Only the bad guys know... and you, but you’re my ‘Guy in the Chair’ so you’re obligated by the Superhero Code to keep it a secret.”

Ned took a breath, preparing to clap back when Peter heard footsteps coming down the hall and hissed, “Someone’s coming!”

Neither of them needed super hearing to catch what the bad guys were discussing as they walked down the hallway.

“... and what the hell did he expect me to do?! The kid saw my face and if he’s smart like Stark’s intern, he’d have for sure been able to help track us down. I don’t care how much money he promised us. Tony Stark was never supposed to know who we are!”

A second voice responded, “Look, the Boss just wants us to take care of it. It’s no skin off my nose if you want me to do it, but you’d better help me clean up the mess after, is all I’m sayin.’ I don’t want blood in my trunk again.”

“I didn’t sign up for killing a kid,” the first spoke again. “I don’t wanna—“

“I don’t care what you wanna! I’m not going to jail for this, and neither are you. The extra has to go. Now are you gonna help me out or what?!”

The boys even heard the huff of annoyance as the men continued past their door. “Fine. I don’t like this though.” They were getting quieter, “I’m gonna go grab a tarp from the van...”

The voices faded in the distance.

Ned’s breathing picked up.

“Hey, Ned,” Peter pulled his hands apart, shattering the standard handcuffs. He shoved his chair away so he could to the same to Ned’s. “C’mon. We’re getting out of here.”

Ned, distracted from his imminent doom, gaped, “Why didn’t you do that before?”

Peter was already climbing up the wall to the window, “First rule of kidnapping, Ned, never show your hand—assuming you have one.”

“Who came up with that rule?” Ned called up to him.

Peter barely spared him a glance as he answered, “Natasha, man. Who else would be so bad ass?”

Peter shifted his focus then. The window was definitely made of safety glass, super old and had that thin wire mesh running through it.

Shit. It was going to hurt.

It didn’t matter though. Peter starting banging at the glass, first with his elbow, and then with his fist as the window gave way. He ignored the blood and broken bones.

“Peter!” Ned called up, “I think they’re coming!”

Peter didn’t stop. If Ned heard them, then that meant they could hear the commotion he was making. With one last strike, the hole was big enough but all of those shards could be a problem— and then he took a quick look outside, muttered a “Shit,” and dropped to the floor.

Ned rushed up to him.

Peter grabbed him and tossed him over his shoulder. He explained quickly as he crawled. “Okay, change of plans. We’re on the third floor. The glass sucked and I’m going to lower you to the ground then follow you out so you don’t get sliced, got it?”

“What—?” Ned started to ask but they’d reached their destination. Glass and small gauge wire provided for a literal minefield of pain if Peter didn’t maneuver Ned through it right.

He didn’t have time to worry about it as Peter literally tossed Ned through the hole, with not a scratch for the effort, he hoped. Ned’s second and a half of freefall was potentially a bit emotionally damaging, but he could unpack that with him later. Peter shot out a line of webbing and catching Ned at the shoulder. With a jerk, he’d caught Ned and was lowering him to the ground.

The door behind him crashed open. “What the hell?!”

Peter looked back over his shoulder as the men rushed toward the wall, then lowered Ned as quickly as he could. “Ned!” Peter heard the cocking of a gun, “Run! Don’t look back!” He released the webbing, and saw Ned drop a few feet to the ground, “GO!” He screamed, as the gun went off and Peter dropped back to the floor of their prison, his arm, hand, and now leg bleeding all over the concrete.

“What did you do?!” The man holding the literal smoking gun demanded. He’d moved to Peter and stood over him. A part of Peter wanted to snark, his adrenaline high as he tried to pull himself up. The other part of him was struggling to not cry out in pain—In the end, he stayed quiet.

His partner stood staring at the scene from by the door, clutching a painter’s tarp in his arms. “Well, this isn’t good.”

Peter laughed at the understatement, which apparently did not impress ‘gun man,’ who promptly delivered a steel-toed kick to his gut before stomping off the deal with the issue at hand. Gun Man raged at Tarp Man by the door while Peter tried to figure out how to inhale. “What the hell are you standing there for?! Go get the kid!”

Tarp Man dropped the tarp and ran down the hall and Peter prayed that Ned would get far enough away to be safe. His only comfort was that Peter had been left with the one willing to murder.

Gun Man kicked him again, in the chest this time. Peter was sure that a rib or two had broken that time, which must have been the goal because Gun Man nudged at his bleeding leg in disgust and walked away.

And Peter kept trying to breathe.

Peter must have blacked out for a few minutes. When he came to, Tarp Man was back with them, looking winded—but most important, he was empty handed.

Their argument had definitely gone up a notch.

“—look, the boss doesn’t need to know! The kid is gone and that’s all that matters, right?”

Gun Man was not pleased, “You idiot! I’m not goin’ down for this! I only took the job ‘cuz you said it was easy money and no one would know.” He pulled his gun out and aimed. “You’ve fucked me over for the last time, man.”

Tarp Man was quick on the draw. His gun was out and pointed at his partner. “Look! I was lied to, too, man! No one needs to know nothin’— We can just grab the girls and go to Mexico!”

Gun Man cocked his gun.

What was Peter even seeing?

“I said I wasn’t goin’ back to jail. You screwed up, and you screwed me over! There’s no walkin’ away from this, asshole!” With those words, Gun Man shot Tarp Man point blank in the chest—the conversation was officially over.

Peter blinked in disbelief.

Gun Man took a few heaving breaths, like he’d run a marathon and then cocked his gun again. He turned to face Peter, then saw that he was awake. He grinned; looking truly evil now that there was no need to wear a mask, with his partner was gone. “This would have been so much simpler if that kid had just stayed in the store, huh?”

Peter coughed. He wouldn’t stand for Ned to be disrespected, even in his own last moment. “He’s not a kid, dickhead. He’s my ‘Guy in the Chair.’”

The man laughed, “I don’t give a fuck who he is.” He raised his weapon, aimed, and then—His eyes widened as the bullet ripped out of his chest.

Peter’s eyes widened as Gun Man fell forward, dead.

Peter scanned the room, trying to find the next threat when he caught sight of Tarp Man, still on the ground where he had fallen, his own gun now smoking as it clattered to the ground. He looked Peter in the eye and nodded once and with that last act of redemption, died.  

Peter wished that he could fade away into unconsciousness—anyway he could manage. The whole thing was too much.

He tried dragging himself to the doorway, but the pain of his broken ribs was sufficient that he gave up, so he simply turned away from the carnage and waited...

... and waited, until finally the blood loss was enough that he simply floated away.

* * * * * *

The nasal cannula was all the hint he needed to know where he was. He forced himself to open his eyes.

“Kid?”

Peter turned his head and saw Tony standing up from the chair that, from how rumpled he looked, he must have been sitting in for a while.

He smiled sleepily at his mentor. “Hi, Mr. Stark.”

Mr. Stark smiled back. “Hey, kid. How are you feeling?”

He nodded slowly, “I’m good.” He thought for a second. “And Ned, he’s good, too, right?”

Mr. Stark smiled again. “Ted is fine, Pete, and I’m glad you’re okay. That means the drugs are working.”

“Urgh.” Peter hated it when he needed the painkillers, and hated it more when he teased Ned. “You know he’s not Ted... c’mon. Be nice.”

Mr. Stark did that doey-eyed thing, like he was gonna make another excuse to be a jerk to Ned forever when, “Alright, he’s had a rough day, so I’ll stop.”

He laughed when Mr. Stark said it, and winced for the pain in his ribs for it. Yeah, Peter was sceptical and said as much, “That’s too easy, Mr. Stark.” He squinted up at him, looking for signs of deception, but finding none, he confirmed one last time, “Really?”

Tony nodded and turned to sit back in his seat. “Yeah, really.”

Peter thought about that for a minute and then nodded back, “Okay.”

With that resolved, Peter thought heading back to sleep would be a great idea. More rest meant faster healing, and Peter was over the ribs, like, a million years ago. The problem was that being asleep was different from being unconscious and when Peter closed his eyes, all he saw was them... and if he hadn’t gotten Ned out, or if he’d dropped Ned from too high, or if he’d been shot, or if the man with the tarp had decided that killing Ned sounded better than Mexico.

A tear fell down his cheek.

“Peter?”

He turned his head towards Mr. Stark and purged. “I was so afraid I wouldn’t get Ned out, Mr. Stark, and now I keep seeing what could’ve...” he couldn’t speak for the horror. “If he’d died, it would’ve been my—”

Tony stood up again and took Peter’s hand in his. “Peter, you listen to me. That kid was born to be your, what do you call him? Oh yeah, ‘Guy in the Chair.’” He squeezed his hand, tried to center him, and smiled. “He’s your ‘ride or die,’ my friend. You’ve found your very own Rhodey! And you are so lucky.”

Peter nodded again in agreement. He knew that. They were brothers, after all.

Tony laughed. “You know what the kid did?”

Peter shook his head ‘no’ and wiped some tears away.

“When Rhodey and I got there, for some reason we could only pinpoint the area—must’ve been something in a nearby warehouse, but whatever.” Tony waved off the train of thought. “We were about to start a search of everything that could be your location, but Ned steps out an alley and calls us over, so we go. He points to the right building—even the window we need to go in, and then, juuuust as I’m about to fly off, he offers to help me with recalibrating my tech when we were all done.”

It was Peter’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, that sounds like Ned.”

Tony brushed Peter’s hair away from his face, “The point I’m making, Pete, is that this isn’t someone who’s gonna leave you at the first sign of trouble. And maybe, you should give him a little credit. He’s a smart kid. He can figure out where he’s supposed to be.”

“Yeah, he is.”

A knock sounded at the medbay door and Peter turned to see Ned standing, holding a foil tray of—“Dude! Did your mom make me pancit!”

Ned beamed, “Of course, she did! You know the rules, if you’re barfing, it’s tinola. Anything else is pancit because ‘it’s Peter’s favourite!’” Ned mimicked his mom.

“Of course! Because she loves me more!”

Tony chuckled and moved to the bed controls to help Peter sit up. “Do I need to go grab some plates for you guys?”

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Ned pulled out a handful of plastic forks, then handed one to Peter. “Mr. Stark, this pancit does not wait for plates.” He spoke with such solemnity that anyone who heard him would be a believer.

“Alright then, I’ll leave you gentlemen to it. Ned, get FRIDAY to tell me when you’re leaving so I can come back, okay?”

“Well,” Now Ned looked bashful, “I actually brought you a fork, too, sir.” He thrust it out toward him. “I figured we could maybe talk about my internship?”

Peter’s eyes widened, and he turned to stare at his mentor, “You’re giving Ned an internship?!”

Mr. Stark snickered as he reached over to pluck Peter’s fork from his hand, “Of course I am! The kid’s gonna help me tweak my tech! And maybe we’ll throw in a little extra for good measure! Rhodey’s in town for a while so I figured we should get them together, yeah?” He gave Pete a wink.

Peter understood what Mr. Stark was doing, even if Ned didn’t yet.

Mr. Stark would do what he could to make sure that Ned would be safe...

And Ned would be the best Guy in the Chair EVER.

 @febuwhump

[lxtent]

Here we are again my lovely muns! Another Christmas has drifted around, and it’s now almost been four years since I started writing Leo. That’s a crazy amount of time for me in the world of roleplay. Through each of those years, you guys have brought a smile to my face every day through your writing, muses and just being who you are. They’ve been some of the hardest years of my life but I’ve been lucky to have you all by my side. Truthfully, I’m not sure what’s going to happen next year. I start a new job in January and it’s going to suck up my time mercilessly. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to be around. But I will never leave. As long as I have a place to escape to here, I know I can get through things. I want to support everyone else just as much as you have supported me. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a way to accurately portray how much you all mean to me. Around Christmas, you’re supposed to spend time with the people you love. Even though that includes you guys for me, there are countless oceans and countries that get in the way. I’m not Santa sadly, so there’s no travelling by reindeer to see you all like I’d wish to. But at the very least, I want to reach across to you and give you all a hug with words.  To the beautiful muns that make this place my second home, I wish you all the happiness in the world this Christmas, and all the days following it. To quote Jung Leo himself: “Let’s see each other for a long time.”

☆ . 。.:*・ My Fairy Lights・*:.  。. ☆ 

☆ @iceprincesssooyeon Every year I try and think of a new way of telling you how much you mean to me. Which is dumb really, considering I tell you nearly every day and holy crap, you must be so sick of it by now. But nothing changes, no matter how many times it’s said. It doesn’t lose its impact. It’s always true. Want to know I really random fact? The first time I went on to your blog, the post I saw first was one of strawberry and cream cake. Not only did that just make me adore you at first sight (I love strawberry and cream cake it’s my favourite cake ever) but it also made me associate you with it a little ^^ Perhaps it’s cuz you’re so sweet, or that now I always imagine Sooyeon and Leo baking together and feeding each other strawberries. Or maybe it’s just the fact that you’re the strawberries to my cream hehe~ One wouldn’t be here without the other. I’m so thankful to know you and to have our SooLeo.

☆ @numberxix I told you this a while ago but it’s still something I think about around this time of year. The day we first started talking was new years day, about two years ago now. What I didn’t tell you that much of was that I had had a really bad start to that year. I’d had a bit of a panic attack on the way home from seeing family. It was pretty much the worst first day of the year you could get. But then we started talking. You were one of my first reasons to smile that day. And it’s been like that for this entire year since. We have so many ships between our muses, romantic or friendship and I love every single one of them. Kyungri and Jaehwan will of course always be the first in my heart. But I can’t wait to see how they all develop. There are so many ideas we have, so many little scenarios and I wouldn’t want to share them with anyone else. 

☆ @instantlyiconic I can’t believe we only met a few months ago! It seems like so much longer. Thank you for bringing Minseok into Leo’s life, being like the warm cups of coffee he always offers him; energy and comfort. You are an amazing writer, I can’t say it enough because I won’t even stop saying it when you finally agree. These two will get closer with time and I can’t wait to see that happen.

☆ @thosewhowearmasks It’s not even been four months since we started talking, how is that possible?! When you first popped into my im’s saying you loved Seraphina too, I think I had a feeling then that we were going to get along just fine. Not only that, but I discovered a long lost twin! You’ve killed me with just a few heartwrenching paragraphs and given me some of the fluffiest fluff too. When we get to write these characters more (because we will) I’m going to pay you back for both! Thank you for always sticking around. And for making me watch Liar Game, that was a really good idea.

☆ @noxwrites Have I ever told you that I admire you endlessly? And that you’re hilarious and I love screaming about VIXX with you? And that Daesung is one of Leo’s closest friends and if he ever lost him he might not recover from it? Well, I have now. I’m sorry I’m so lame when it comes to promptly replying to... well, everything. That’s gonna have to change. And please let me love more of your characters! Good? Okay.

☆ @scxpegoxt Hey I know you’re not here anymore and we stopped talking AGAIN (why does this keep happening) but how could I miss you off here? You’re one of my favourite favourites. You have no idea how many docs I have with drabbles I wrote with Hakyeon and Leo. There’s a lot. When we started talking again after a freaking year, I was so happy. Which means I need to get off my butt and go and message you right now. And I need to stop being a dinosaur like Leo and get a discord. Yup.

☆ @pvlchritudine I love friendship ships. Love them so much. Karen and Leo are exactly why Ido. Have you seen how cute they are? Of course you have~ You’re just as lovely as they are and I so wish we talked more. I take all the blame for the fact that we don’t. I’ve followed you for years, back when your blog had a different name and I played another character entirely. But one thing that hasn’t changed is that I always love seeing you around. It wouldn’t be the same without you!

☆ @aniimvs You wonderful soul. Thank you for sharing so much of Gabriel with me. I feel honoured to be able to help you with her just the teeniest tiniest bit. Getting to know her more has just made her interactions for Leo even more frustrating and ironic and just great. Have I ever had a friendship (that they won’t even call a friendship) as complicated as this one? Nope. Which is why I love it. I’ve admired you since my first foray into krp and I’m so glad you’re still around. I really am!

☆ @dcmnation Ah, my personal torturer. The one that killed off Leo’s sweet little Nana! You’re still amazing though. You know something that stuck in my mind from all the times we’ve talked? It’s a strange thing, but I was on holiday and couldn’t get online for very long. The only way I could talk was through kkt. Suddenly, there you were, saying you’d got kkt so that you could talk to me. I was so damn happy and humbled. We don’t talk as often these days which is an absolute crime but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you just as much my bby~

☆ @lighthousehan I don’t think we’ve ever talked all that much outside of our threads, aside from when we first plotted out Han and Leo’s backstory. But despite that, their friendship remains strong as ever. Though I can’t help but notice how we always seem to slip into angst somehow. I think that might be my doing half the time! Thank you for giving Leo such an important childhood friend. I’m forever grateful for getting to read your writing all the time.

☆ @czernobuh I think I say this too much, but you were the first person to love Leo. No exaggeration! For that reason, you’ll always be someone I adore. Not to mention you’re an incredibly skilled writer who dedicates so much time to your muses and is so kind. I want to write with more of them! I want to give you all the hugs! I hope you don’t run away after reading this! ;)

☆ @starrdew Can I let you into a little secret? I love Eunbyul and Inhye’s friendship so much. I might even ship them a little more than that ;) I really wish we got to write more together because they’re all so fun to write. Dahee and Leo’s imugi and the prince verse still makes me smile every time I read something from it. Thank you for sticking with me for so long through snails paces and everything else.

☆ . 。.:*・ My Snowflakes・*:.  。. ☆

We don’t talk as much as we could. Which is really something I have to change. Or maybe we talked before and haven’t spoken in a long time. Still something I have to change. It’s more than likely I just admire you from afar, having no idea how to actually talk to you because I’m so in awe. Either way, thank you for being who you are, for writing your characters with such love and enthusiasm that my dash is filled with amazing stories every single day. I wish you the best time over the holidays and for friendship to find us next year.

@spvtnik  ☆ @sassofindie ☆ @shadowraiths ☆ @ambitiousxmonsoon ☆ @nitewishes ☆ @thcrnful ☆ @haebxtna ☆ @consilian ☆ @hyejvng ☆ @sooncerely ☆ @thefxmily ☆ @nvpch ☆ @snoopykbye @incubus-ravi ☆ @gumihc ☆ @kindredxhearts ☆ @vartouhix ☆ @busanbunnie ☆ @shcngrila ☆ @lifeinblack ☆ @manticxre ☆ @divinexwreckage ☆ @astraeignis ☆ @niiiightsky ☆ @pullstrings ☆ @jinseinoai ☆ @oculvus

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x07 Musings

My initial reaction to “The Dragon and the Wolf”

Available for $49.99 at Macy’s!

Well, I was wrong last week, and how the hell was I fooled again? I thought the fact that people were paying attention to logic over spectacle meant criticisms might last, but wow. No. Rave reviews for probably one of the most plodding, unmotivated, illogical episodes of the show. The only time I wasn’t bored to tears was when I was pissed off (Theon), or literally LOLing (Bran-bot).

Let’s dive in. Or you could read Jess’s much more coherent analysis first.

Cheryl’s Landing

This entire thing, the whole sequence showing Deadpan’s troops marching and how impressive everything was, just reminded me how little sense them negotiating for a cease-fire even means

WHAT ARE THEY WORRIED CHERYL IS GOING TO DO

do they just want her to grind her troops down too? Because they didn’t ask her to do that

is Deadpan that attached to Dragonstone?

they literally brought a wight and got one of Deadpan’s dragons killed so they could have proof, so Cheryl would just sit her pretty head on the Iron Throne and…keep on keepin’ on

D&D must be paid by the word “cock”

I really don’t want to dive into the other walk-and-talks. Of course Pod’s dick arc continued. Of course Brienne and Sandor chummed it up about Arya (actually that one worked fairly well). Of course Tyrion and Bronn…I don’t even know. D&D are not half as good at writing these scenes as they think they are.

I loved the pit being an abandoned colosseum (wtf were the Targs *doing* with their dragons) way the hell away from the city.

That’s some nice stadium seating! 

I actually thought it was dumb of Deadpan not to show up with just Drogon. That could be her mount. Pretend the other two are resting. Bringing 2 dragons would just raise questions, like it did.

Cleganebowl is coming guys. Pushing towards healing is a DUMB arc.

It was physically painful to have a scene with these two powerful-ass queens sitting while the menz patiently explained the situation.

Anyone want to venture a guess who Euron was playing this week? I think I’ve got my impression of him down at least

So. Okay. The wight acted not like a wight’s ever acted before, but whatever; props to Jonny for bringing a visual display to the quarterly review.

Here’s the thing: Cheryl and Euron already knew about the Golden Company, which meant Cheryl and Euron already knew they weren’t going to take part in whatever kumbaya truce they were angling for

This means LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID IS USELESS until the Cheryl/Larry breakup

Cheryl asked Jonny not to take any sides. If he had said yes, what would she have done with the Golden Company, exactly? They’d still be coming. So it was a meaningless request of no purpose. Or did she think offering her aid would lead to that outcome, in which case…what would she have done with the Golden Company, exactly? It doesn’t sound like she was ever actually going to offer her aid (how would that have worked, by the way?), especially the way she told Larry about her deal with Euron…so why was she asking for this? Was it just so Jon could get chided about being stupid so he could then assert that his dad was kind of cool for being honorable?

You can keep playing logical loopy loop with that question, just like the Tyrion/Cheryl convo was a big loopy loop.

Cheryl touching her belly to play Tyrion was super clever in isolation, except the reveal she was playing him still leaves the question like HOW DO YOU FAKE FIGHTING THE ARMY OF THE DEAD? Also they didn’t even ask Cheryl for that. What did Tyrion *want* from her, exactly? What does anyone want? AHHHHHH

The Jonerys sexual tension was laughable. Deadpan was regarding Jon like a moron.

Wow just look at that crackling chemistry.

Could Missandei have like…done anything? She and Grey Worm didn’t even get a moment wth?

Cherry Bomb’s explosion was so unmotivated. Cheryl was making decent points, especially since after the force, with Jon and Deadpan’s alliance, they’re fucked. This was no worse than blowing up a sept and that this was the straw that broke Larry’s back was seriously moronic.

I did like the snow on Larry. Makes me wish we had gotten AFFC adapted.

Dragonstone

It’s not worth talking about the scene that existed to be like “however will boatsex happen?”

The Jon/Theon scene kind of pissed me off, though I know it worked for some people. It’s not even really Theon being a captive of Ned’s so “YOU SHOULD LOVE HIM” is an odd message. It’s that our whole fucking justification for Sansa’s rape-revenge arc, other than making her the player she needed to be (I’m going to hurl), was that it was more dramatically satisfying to have Theon rescue a real Stark and right that “great sin” of betraying them.

And remember how at the beginning of S6, it actually seemed like the Theon/Sansa relationship was…something? But then he had plot things to do and fucked off in favor if his “real” sister, because fuck thematic significance?

My point is, out of all the ‘Starks’ to forgive Theon, it was *Sansa* who specifically mattered, as horrifying and awful a decision as it was, and they just punted out anything between them so Theon could get screamed at and triggered by his blood-relative sister. And after all that shit, they NOW try and pull back in the Stark Significance and how if Jonny gives him a nod of approval, it’s all fine? No. Fuck that.

Also fuck to bloody hell the scene of Theon winning over the Ironboors by HAR HAR not feeling anything when he gets kneed in the crotch, and proceeding to punch a guy to death (or whatever)

It was Larry stopping a sword with his golden hand, but even less tasteful. Especially in the same episode with the worst-written eunuch jokes heard to date.

Winterhell

I mean…what’s to even say? Sansa was playing Batfinger this entire time? Or did she decide the guy needs to be executed *after* Arya threatened her life (in private) because that could win over her little sister’s loyalty

Or was Arya in on it, but you never know when Batfinger is hiding in the floorboards

When was Bran in on it? Did he seek out Sansa, complement the dress she wore the day she was pulled from her horse in the King’s Landing riot, and then tell her all his dirty deets? Did Sansa ask him to do her a solid because Arya was trying to kill them?

At what point was Arya clued in? Was that political show in the hall something she knew about?

And why was this whole drawn out thing to punk Batfinger necessary anyway? Did she think it’d be more dramatically satisfying if he was surprised? He’d probably have been surprised if she did it at the end of last season, because she had the Lysa Card in her pocket for YEARS now, not to mention he sold her to the Boltons and lied about it to everyone

Okay. Cool. Batfinger is dead. Hoisted by his own petard…or something. Except not at all

D&D’s desire to keep us guessing until the last minute is just more of this “omg here’s the twist” writing where everything seems random and unmotivated. Sometimes there’s a satisfaction in a well-executed plan that we watch unfold, and shit.

Also, is Sansa just that over Arya threatening to literally kill her? “Eh, you’re strong.” It was nice seeing sisters *not* wanting to kill each other for a scene, but the fuck?

That said, glad to see a continuation of the sith robe in Winterhell

But who wore it better?

Boatsex montage ft. Sam and Bran

Sam sidling in is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. And of course Bran emotes for him more than any of his family all year.

I want a montage of Bran telling people he’s the 3ER and them all shrugging “I don’t know what that is.” Sansa did it best

Bran literally just…opened his mouth and expo-dumped. This is “that’s my father!” but extended for like 5 solid fucking minutes

Also it’s amazing that Sam took in anything Gilly was saying about Ragger because hmmm….wouldn’t you think that kind of thing NEEDS FOLLOW-UP?

Okay okay. So. Ragger annulled Elia which means Rhaenys and Aegon were legally speaking, disinherited. And I guess this means that Ragger is now forfeit of any parenting duties? He just really likes the name Aegon and is free to pass it on to Lyanna

She’s not even pregnant! Or if somehow she was, women die in childbirth! Who the fuck disinherits their kids when they’re the heir of a throne in a feudal order? He even had a boy named Aegon already! WHAT THE FUCK

The power of love compelled him to say “fuck all” to the line of succession and piss off the entirety of Dorne? Ragger is kind of lucky the war broke out…

”They were in love.” Good guy Ragger doesn’t kidnap 15-year-olds…he makes sure to woo them first (god the power differential there)

Now for boatsex itself, which was shown over this crapshack montage. Deadpan and Jonny didn’t even SPEAK before this. They’re just like…bored, and then they fuck. There’s sweet music and a voiceover *about* love, so it must mean they’re IN love?? How does that work? All I could think of was this.

Where was this love supposed to have been built? The caves? That time Missandei shipped it? I’m so confused.

Then as if to confirm this was just Jonny and Deadpan trying to fuck away the hours (why not, honestly? Get some.), we are treated to Tyrion outside their door looking like…hurt that this means they’re not going to play Scrabble with him or something

And the Wall came tumbling down

Ice magic + fire-made-flesh = blue fire that’s super hot. Okay.

This looked nice? I think? Kind of hard to take dragonriding Shogun seriously, but the effects were good

Whatever fear I used to have of the Army of the Dead is gone. They showed it to us too early or it’s become too similar to “generic forces of bad” a la orcs in ROTK or something. They’re just dudes, shuffling over. With percussive music.

I have to find a way to cut this to the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme like I did last year.

What a waste of a season.

Top 3 nitpicks:

Zombie!Gregor’s mere existence in a scene about the danger of the walking dead

Dothraki are a two week ride from Winterhell. Just…don’t give us numbers D&D. It’s not helping

Grey Worm and the Unsullied being TOTALLY FINE after Euron’s fleet had shown up at Casterly Rock like, weeks ago? Is this even a nitpick??

[vanilla-blessing]

qb’s Mid-Season Reviews (Spring 2017)

Now that we’re at the halfway point for the season, I wrote some blurbs on my favorite and least favorite shows from the Spring 2017 season that I’ve watched so far. They’re loosely ranked by how much I’d recommend each anime, and go over the apparent strengths and weaknesses of each one. My favorites are the mostly the same as I speculated from the start of the season, but some of them didn’t turn out so great. These are what I’d say are easy recommendations: 

Alice & Zoroku

weaknesses - Alice & Zoroku has a tendency to be slightly maudlin, prone to a few tonal swings, and its necessary double-length first episode can be an obstacle. Additionally, it’s on the darker side of magical girls, and although it isn't defined by violence, it doesn't hold back in portrayals of cruelty, even when it probably should.

strengths - It pulls off a Nanoha-style combination of sci-fi and magical girls, and successfully balances high emotional peaks. Sana discovering the world and integrating into Zoroku's family in turn raises the stakes for the magical battles which threaten her new family. Zoroku the grumpy florist is a straight-up boss, and his role in the story as a grounded role model is both innovative and a perfect fit for this style of magical girl anime. 

  Grimoire of Zero

weaknesses - Grimoire of Zero is a pretty conventional high fantasy on the surface, and if there’s one major flaw it’s how the magical action scenes tend to read like a novel, with lots of flashy lights and words but not much actually happening. 

strengths - It handles an incredibly precarious fantasy world filled with dangerously heavy topics like witch burning, slavery, complex magical rulesets, mass murder, sanctioned killings, and political tensions with aplomb in a remarkably natural way. It also has character relationships that are just as natural and incredibly endearing that serve to balance learning about the brutality of the fantasy world, but manages to never feel out of place. Although Grimoire of Zero is certainly conventional, its incredible tact with extreme topics and naturalistic writing are rare qualities for the genre anime fans are probably the most tired of. 

  Tsuki ga Kirei

weaknesses - It’s a very conventional school life heterosexual romance, and although it’s a modern take, it still has those limitations. It uses a lot of 3DCG for crowd shots that tends to stand out when you notice it, but that’s a rising trend that we’ll get more used to over time until we’ll hardly notice it at all. Maybe.

strengths - Tsuki ga Kirei is particularly strong at making conventional romance tropes interesting through a modern lens of smartphones in a way that keeps the show fresh and relevant. Contrasting to the crowd shots, it features extremely detailed and personal character animation where it counts, seemingly animated on the ones at times. It’s very good at what it does, plus the gag clips at the end of each episode about the side characters are really funny and good for relieving drama. 

Seikaisuru Kado: The Right Answer

weaknesses - Kado uses an ambitious style of 3D/2D animation that’s kind of distracting, and it can’t seem to decide if it’s going for the tone of a slow-paced live action drama or a traditional anime style, and kind of mixes both. Plot-wise, its resolutions to world-changing problems are a bit too simple and notably Japan-centric. 

strengths - Kado showcases a fascinatingly hard sci-fi and sociopolitical thriller without the mandatory robots or war you’d expect, and provides the kind of story that you would never normally see in anime. It’s designed to be way up the alley of theoretical physics nerds and succeeds at that with its gigantic space cube. Toei has touched on an interesting well with the themes of negotiation and dilemmas and has chosen an ambitious and unique style to explore them in. 

CUBE

ORB

ORB FROM CUBE

Unfortunately, some of the shows I had early hopes for haven’t delivered, and some of them belong in the Poo Poo Garbage:

Atom: The Beginning

strengths - Atom (prequel to Mighty Atom aka Astro Boy) has an Amazingly animated OP sequence, straight up one of the best segments of animation I've seen all year. It also features intricately designed robots and creative mechanical movement that has been fun to watch.

weakness - The humans are very boring, static, and ugly, and are a majority of the show’s runtime. There’s a serious lack of enthusiasm with anything that involves things that aren’t robots and it sucks all the life out of the show, ironically.  

Twin Angel BREAK

strengths - The magical girl transformations and OP look good, and it's funny in a broad sense that it was made and continues to exist.

weaknesses - There’s almost nothing notable about Twin Angel BREAK (Twin Angels BREAK) at all, its comedy consists of extremely obtuse jokes that don't work, and it’s even significantly less interesting than the adult-oriented slot machine version that has heavy fanservice because this one doesn't even have that appeal. It also loses the sole strength of the Twin Angel series by having laughably terrible fight choreography that rarely looks passable. I expected Twin Angel BREAK to be either amazing or entertainingly bad and it has done neither. Twin Angel BREAK has no weaknesses its good actually

 Hinako Note

strengths - Hinako Note is generally pretty funny for a moe girls in a club show, and features endcards that reference famous movies and stories that are cute and good. 

weaknesses - It does not stay funny, in fact the jokes run dry very quickly. There’s a distinct gap between portraying the same characters as hyper-sexualized and chibi multiple times in the same scene that is extremely disconcerting and inconsistent. On top of that, the fanservice that is there is horrendously inappropriate in all senses of the word, sexualizing characters that are FAR too young even for the nearly nonexistent standards of moe anime, and even when the girls aren’t disturbingly young it always feels really out of place every single time they go for it. This extends to some of the endcards, which are usually cute and clever but occasionally fetishistic and gross. I’ve never seen an anime’s tiny, insignificant problems fester into absolute dealbreakers as quickly as Hinako Note managed to.

Overall, this season seems to be as strong on average as any other season, but lacks the punch of the seasons we’ve had lately, with crazy projects like Flip Flappers, Yuri on Ice, Rakugo Shinjuu, Scum’s Wish, and even Kemono Friends. Kado seems to be ambitious, but possibly in the wrong direction, and everything else that’s good tends to build off of established conventions. We might have been spoiled with unconventionally successful anime from the last year, and it certainly doesn’t mean this season is bad, but it’s looking like the original anime of Spring 2017 will be overshadowed by the gamechangers we’ve enjoyed recently, and the concurrent sequels to anime everyone already knows are good. 

-magical girl liker qb @queuebae