#the liveblog would have distracted me otherwise

[kyogre-blue]

Started Black Eagles, yaaaaaaah

White Clouds is so tedious. It's probably easier if you don't try to keep notes while playing, but god...

First, notes about the Holy Mausoleum and the Holy Tomb:

Holy Mausoleum entrance is in the back of the cathedral, on the left. The Holy Tomb entrance is via an elevator that Claude couldn't figure out how to operate, but I can't recall if we know where the elevator actually is. I'll check if there's anything more about it when I get to that part again.

The Mausoleum is described as "where the saints of the church slumber" and it's open to the public once a year on the Rite of Rebirth. There is also a coffin for Seiros. The Sword of the Creator is there for some reason. The Holy Tomb is where Sothis slumbered long ago, before the monastery was even constructed, before ZANADO was built, where her throne is, and also where the Crest Stones of her children are kept. I would assume no one is allowed in at all.

It seems like the Mausoleum is a decoy for the Tomb, and the Agarthans do attack it earlier on precisely to target Seiros's coffin, whether for her Crest Stone or just to check if there's anything there.

I do wonder why Rhea left the Sword there for real tho. Speculation: did she intend Byleth to find it...? Otherwise, weird move in general.

Second, notes about Edelgard's actions and plans throughout the school year:

She specifically spends the entire year coordinating moving hidden troops into position to attack the monastery, disguising them as (iirc) merchants and pilgrims. It still takes them two weeks to actually attack because the calendar is an awful system, but the implication seems to be that she joined the Officers Academy specifically for this.

She hires Kostas to "kill as many noble brats as he can" while she, Dimitri and Claude are out on a mission together without their classmates. It seems like she also planned to use this opportunity to get rid of the teacher accompanying them so that Jeritza would be able to stand in as the Black Eagles house teacher? Not too sure about this, it seems to be more implied.

At the same time, the Agarthans spur the Western Church into spurring Lonato into rebellion, which is used as a distraction for the Western Church's mission to either assassinate Rhea or steal from Seiros's tomb. Edelgard seems to be aware but doesn't actively participate.

Solon has the Death Knight, on loan from Edelgard, kidnap Flayn and uses her blood to experiment on villagers in Remire. Afterwards, the Agarthans use artificial Crest Stones to experiment on Academy students. I haven't seen the BE take on this, but presumably Edelgard is also aware but doesn't actively help?

Monica was kidnapped last year, reasons are unknown.

At the end of the year, Edelgard leads an Imperial force to invade the Holy Tomb to get Crest Stones. iirc, this was her own operation, not the Agarthans.

The main point of question I have is how far along were the Black Beast experiments before Solon got Flayn's blood. Was the obviously still incomplete experiment on Remire necessary, or was the process already complete and he was just fucking around? Could they have started the monster production business without Flayn?

Aside from that, I wonder why they killed Monica. There doesn't seem to be anything special about her, and as far as I know, Hopes didn't really give her any traits aside from being an Edelgard fangirl. Did Edelgard have her snoop around, and the Agarthans got rid of her for that? This is purely speculation tho.

As for the story itself so far, not much to say. Edelgard doesn't really appeal to me as a character, and I can't say that's changed with the C ranks I've gotten on the BE team.

The Eagles team itself is... uh. Well, tbh they are basically the same level of two-joke characterization as the Deer, but less endearing and more trainwreck. Hopefully, their B and As will have more substance.

Liveblogging notes:

Just realized that the armor of generics with Seiros and Nemesis was the exact same as a thousand years later. Medieval stasis indeed.

Thinking about it, the game starts on Seiros and Nemesis. VW ended on Nemesis for better or worse. I guess BE routes will end on Seiros, in a sense? But I don't think it'll make much sense in CF.

Sothis says to drift through the flow of time to find the answers we seek, but we're not... seeking anything...

Man, fem Byleth with her lipstick and blush... I just can't get used to it. Her face looks so weird. That oufit too... sigh

Those boobs are huge.

If you choose Eagles, Manuela chooses Golden Deer and Hanneman chooses Blue Lions.

This house is a disaster.

Hanneman specifies that he designed the Crest analyzer in his office. I wonder if his is the only one? Are they common, or do they not exist outside this? I had forgotten that people can just make their Crest appear in the air, like how Edelgard is doing during one of the early cinematics, but if everyone can do that, then I suppose there isn't really a need for analyzers normally?

Reminder that Edelgard hired Kostas as the Flame Emperor, explicitly to kill Dimitri and Claude.

The Knights of Seiros are accompanying us to the monthly mission.

Claude says his class's mission in month 5 is "downright peaceful" compared to hunting down Kostas.

Edelgard and Ferdinand C: Edelgard's mocking voice is... sure a thing. Ferdinand refers to "copyists" producing pamphlets. What is that like?

Knights were already dispatched to Gaspard when Rhea tells us about going there to do "cleanup" at the end of the month.

Linhardt and Caspar argue about which of their dads tops in their Foe Yay encounters.

Caspar's dad killed Petra's dad when Dagda and Brigit invaded the Empire.

The dark mage who is creating the fog has dialogue very similar to the other Lonato soldiers, so it seems like he's not with the Agarthans.

Edelgard comparing herself to Lonato is... a thing. She switches between calling their reasons for fighting "unreasonable ideas of justice" and "a higher cause" within four text boxes.

During Rite of Rebirth, everyone prays for the Goddess's return. Rhea and Seteth will be in the Tower. What even is the Goddess Tower?

Claude says GD was ordered to help the Knights patrol due to the supposed upcoming attempt on Rhea's life.

Edelgard can't swim.

Edelgard says the system of nobility has only been around for 1200 years. Which... is an interesting number. It would have had to start before the war between Seiros and Nemesis, which means Seiros didn't start it... Did Nemesis do it??

"Hail the mighty Edelgard, though red blood stains her story... Heavy as her crown may be, she will lead us all to glory... To a brighter dawn, we shall carry on... Hail, Edelgard!"

The Eagles all make a big showing of being scared of Rhea executing the Western Church would assassins.

Arundel/Thales shows up in a scene with the Flame Emperor. He mentions that Rhea is still alive, but like... the Western Church was never even going to where she was, they weren't actually doing an assassination?

The Flame Emperor basically confirms they were expecting Seiros's remains to be in the Holy Mausoleum, NOT the Sword of the Creator.

Arundel calls Nemesis a "thief," to Edelgard's surprise.

The Death Knight is explicitly Edelgard's guy, but she loans him to the Agarthans.

Nemesis getting mentioned by Rhea in the next scene flows better after Arundel mentions him first.

The Nemesis cover story has him defeating "wicked gods" which is interesting that their religion acknowledges other gods can exist, even if they're wicked.

[duhragonball]

Camp Nanwum Update: 9969

My goal was 25,000 words for this month, and I’m not even halfway there, with only eleven days to go.  But I’m actually a little ahead of schedule.   

The plan was to write 500 words a day for 28 days, and then make up the balance on the other two.   Tomorrow is one of the catch-up days, and my objective is to try to hit 6,000 words.   I’d like to break my one-day word-count record, which I think is a little north of 6k, but I’ll be satisifed if I end up with a number that starts with a 6.  

If I fail, I’ll just use Sunday to pick up the split.    The goal, though, is to be at 17,000 words by Monday morning.   Then I’ll do something similar next Saturday, and I’ll be in good shape. 

What I’ve been finding is that by forcing myself to write 500 words every day, I’ve ended up writing separate scenes more than complete chapters.    I’m concerned that I won’t be able to assemble all of these pieces into the actual fic.   Some of them may be redundant, or they just won’t fit together.   It may be for the best, though, because writing throwaway dialogue can at least help me refine what I actually end up doing.    But the theme this month is that I’m just sort of flying by the seat of my pants.   I haven’t even edited all of last November’s word count, so there’s no way I can plot chapters the way I’m used to doing.  I’m trying to take solace in the word count.    I got stuff on the page, and I can fix it up later, and that’s all that matters. 

The advantage of this is that I can use all of these eighteen story fragments as prompts for this marathon run I’m doing tomorrow.   With that in mind, I’m going to list the word counts or each, so I can better keep track of how much I’ll have added to any of them.

890

645

530

513

520

550

530

593

544

528

549

521

521

524

515

556

522

518

Uh, I still gotta write my 500 words for today.  

???????

That’s somewhat encouraging, now that I’ve got this laid out in front of me.   I should be able to expand a few of those, and boost my count tomorrow.   

[valkyrieblogs]

continuing my second playthrough of 13 sentinels: aegis rim in an attempt to do more analysis and character study. i got distracted from my liveblog for a bit because i've been trying to overhaul the 13 sentinels wiki lksjdlgj i added about 600 pages, so, uh. hopefully it's a bit more functional now. the fact that i haven't also gone right back to hijiyama route this time around is a testament to my self-control, i think. (i am going to reward myself by playing it again for my next post, though.)

this time i’m covering:

ryoko shinonome (12% - 25%)

natsuno minami (37% - 50%) (it's exterminator time, which means i really appreciate seeing this scene now that i know what's really going on)

shu amiguchi (42% - 57%) (in which i talk a lot about tetsuya ida again)

tomi kisaragi (12% - 25%)

ryoko shinonome (12% - 25%): my sentinel no. 14

the clear exhaustion on morimura's face when shinonome gets up and immediately talks about going after 426 again.

i still think it's so interesting that it's not just using the sentinel that speeds up the progress of DD-426, but using the shifters, too. i understand how the sentinels are taxing because of the neural link, but the shifters... i assumed it just needed authorization from their biometric ID, not that it would've been physically taxing otherwise. especially if you consider that, well, none of this is real, all of it is simulated... i would wonder why the shifters would have an effect.

i really wonder if a lot of the information that shinonome has was given to her (and is just wrong), or if she's just that muddled. i think it's a combination. in this scene, she talks about how 426 must've been the one that locked the gate, but we know that's not true. or in her thought cloud about 426, she credits him as "the source of the disaster that will destroy the world", which is faulty on a lot of levels. he wants to avert this as much as anyone, although the only ones that could've told her that are morimura from two loops ago (who died in the loop he killed all the kids and did not have her data saved so she no longer has that information), and tetsuya ida (whose state of consciousness at the time 426 was trying to kill him was pretty questionable, and he's not particularly interested in telling people the truth). that said, knowledge of the deimos should really supersede what one individual can do, so i feel like it's still strange to say that 426 is the source of the disaster rather than the deimos. although it's also possible she re-attributed this to 426 because of DD-426 and its effect on the sentinels.

i do appreciate how when gouto shows up, he does seem to be genuinely concerned for shinonome's well-being. and knowing what i know now about his history with her, i can only imagine what it would feel like to have her not recognize him at all, even if it's been awhile since they dated. (and her motives for that were questionable at best, and he knew this.)

seeing the way that she's falling apart in her route, it only makes sense to me that morimura would pair shinonome with someone. she's barely functional at this point, and her memory is so unreliable...

i'm also surprised that morimura and gouto don't say anything when she misidentifies sekigahara as 426? i guess because they know she's basing that assumption on where the virus spread from (his sentinel), and don't want to bother telling her the truth, that she was actually the one who installed the virus...

i also really wonder about shinonome's injuries? we know about the effects of DD-426 on her brain, but the fact that she's bandaged on her head and neck, and seems like she's injured her arm, too... i would assume those were injuries she got while her sentinel was disabled by DD-426? but i wish we had some confirmation of what her injuries were.

hm, i'm kind of surprised that takamiya isn't on the list of compatible girls. morimura did say the list just included the compatible students that went to this school? it makes me wonder if that was another reason why tetsuya ida specifically sought out takamiya to recruit to the SIU. we've also never heard anything about the previous loop's takamiya, either. not even any mention of an AI, like we've heard of with the other students who were killed in the explosion, like kisaragi, hijiyama, miura, and tamao. while it's possible she was included in that group and we just never heard of her, it does make me wonder if she wasn't discovered as a compatible previously.

ahh, this flashback to shinonome looking at sentinel no. 14... i keep forgetting that to the rest of this group (other than sekigahara), they all just think that okino is missing/dead. even how they reference how they haven't been able to find no. 12, either...

god the way that yakushiji is just so cold in this scene, saying shinonome should've been piloting instead of juro... i appreciate it, honestly.

natsuno minami (37% - 50%): exterminator

looks like i'm getting the exterminator branch this time. i can't believe that natsuno gets shot at and replies to who she believes is kisaragi, and still doesn't run until BJ tells her to!! natsuno, please, have some self-preservation instinct!!

i keep thinking about how natsuno attributes a lot of the unusual events around her to people being after BJ, when in reality they're after her. the men in black knowing that she's one of the compatible they've been told to keep an eye on, and now 426 coming to hunt her down because she has the control key...

i'm assuming that BJ is able to choose whether or not he's sending out a signal, since no. 18 (tamao from one loop ago) says she believed that he was gone after the sentinel infection incident until she was led here by his signal.

god i really appreciate having more context while watching this scene between no. 18 and 426. and i have such newfound appreciation for tamao, knowing what they talked about in the developer interview about what they were going to do with her, originally. she just seems like such a gentle person, and then this!! and 426's line about it. "i guess... even your heart... is just a machine now..."

i love how he sees how violent (and heartless, he would argue) she's become, and how he uses it as justification to delete her when he recognizes he needs to take over her body!

i feel like i don't have a full understanding of 426's intentions here. i understand that he decided to hunt down natsuno specifically because she has the control key, and obviously he's able to send out some kind of command to the deimos/automated factories through her (since he references being the one to give the commands now before he shoots her), but i'm not exactly sure what.

and with this, i finally managed to unlock amiguchi and sekigahara again... given that destruction mode is locked behind amiguchi, i guess i'll do his route first.

shu amiguchi (42% - 57%): a specter reborn

looks like juro's coming over for this branch... there's this moment where he seems almost a little spacey when amiguchi comes back in with their drinks, where i'm sure he's just watching shiba play, but obviously amiguchi can't see that at all. it's always so interesting to rewatch these scenes and remember what no one else can see him.

god, the way that the channel changes to miyuki inaba and amiguchi just hurriedly turns off the TV!! i feel like, out of everyone, juro would probably be the one who is least likely to think that he's crazy if he told him about his experiences. and yet... still can't risk it. it does really make me wonder how often this has happened while he's had people over. i'm also just picturing the visual of amiguchi passing in front of some electronics store and all the TVs on display changing the channel to her.

juro wanting to stay over even longer... i know his situation is complicated, but i can't help but feel bad for yakushiji who went to the effort of making dinner for him!! i'm still not a fan of their relationship, but the food... this is the real priority here, to me.

man, amiguchi just casually referencing his father having a mistress. i really wonder about the situation with his family, sometimes. i've talked about how i see him as a lonely character at his core, but... yeah. whenever this comes up it makes me think of it again. no wonder he's happy having people over whenever.

god the dialogue at the end of this is so eerie every time. the music change, too!

juro kurabe: before i forget again, here you go. this one i brought with me. it's basically the sequel to that other sci-fi one. this story was meant for you. shu amiguchi: oh yeah? juro kurabe: yeah. for you and me.

the tapes are obviously the result of 426's tampering, so i wonder if those last lines from juro are the result of him messing with juro's brain again, too.

now watching this flashback with ida interrogating 426... it's interesting how he makes the conscious decision at the beginning of this to dehumanize him, make him a number and not a person. especially when you consider that, at least before the incident where 426 started killing people, he was someone that was actively working with the compatible (including ida) and looked after them.

i do also wonder about 426's final project before he was killed—the one that ida is interrogating him about in this scene, where he was interested in downloading memories to the human brain. we know why ida is interested in it, because he wants to give his kisaragi a human body again. but i'm not sure what made 426 interested in it.

i love this scene between ida and his kisaragi... how he just cannot see what's wrong with his plan to have her replace this current tomi, effectively killing another person.

god i love her arguing that the girl he knew will never come back, that she's already dead. he doesn't seem to care how different she is, how much this is not the kisaragi he knew. and it's that disconnect i find so interesting with ida, where kisaragi feels almost like an object to him. that the difference between the real kisaragi and this kisaragi (missing her memories, her personality data!) is immaterial. it feels like he completely overlooks who kisaragi is as a person in favour of this fading memory of her. i still desperately wish we saw him be confronted with all the differences between the kisaragi he knew and this. it's so fascinating to me.

god i love how 426 cuts right to the heart of it and says that ida's biggest mistake is that he brought her back as an android in the first place, giving her room to argue. it's even more horrifying that the time ida has spent with this iteration of kisaragi doesn't matter to him. he fully intends to just download her memories into her clone in the next loop, throwing this one away. how little he cares about her agency and personhood is incredible.

it really makes me wonder what, exactly, he values in the backups that he's been left with. given that he has no qualms in starting over again, throwing this iteration away. god, even the way that 426 talks to kisaragi, saying that they're both "a means to an end. tools to be used, then thrown away."

hmm, after amiguchi wakes up, it's interesting that miyuki talks about how she's been communicating with both amiguchi and juro when juro comes over. it just seems otherwise from their perspective. i'm assuming that's just the result of the medium they're getting these memories through (movies) rather than anything else.

tomi kisaragi (12% - 25%): a friend's tears

miwako talking about how shinonome was struggling for awhile... we know that she collapses after encountering sekigahara and remembering that he's ei-kun rather than 426 (however briefly) and i wonder how much of that added to her distress.

god i love this aspect of them being stuck here, where nenji is just trying his best to scrounge for things to eat and drink in a ruined city. it's so good. i also still can't get over the drink he gets for kisaragi and how it's a reference to gwendolyn from odin sphere (another vanillaware game).

i love nenji trudging after kisaragi when she decides to go off on her own. i love how he really is a good person who's just trying his best to look after everyone right now, despite staring down some impossible situation, stranded here in 2025.

this flashback to a scene between kisaragi and yakushiji ("tears")... it does actually make me feel bad for yakushiji and her situation where juro doesn't remember her anymore.

[scoups4lyfe]

I don't know if I should be concerned about you taking a long time to post more of your analysis or happy that I won't have an existential crisis.

LOL! Hahahahaha I'm the wORST. If you're wondering why it's taken me so long to post more analysis, imagine that spongebob episode where he has to learn about fine-dining and ends up deleting his own name.

I get into 'fine dining' moods where bam! Bam! BAM! Out pops 4 analysis posts in little under a week. And then I come back down to earth look to the left and forget I ever wrote a single intelligent thing in my entire life. Idk maybe it would be better to describe it as "Phillip" moods because headass any single episode of KR W -- just look at Phillip and BAM that's me.

I'll go absolutely feral with insanity over something until it's rung out and then I'll shift back to default mode lol.

Me: 'Haha :D. I'll post some analysis this weekend. Awww heCK yeAHHH.'

Also Me: *Spends 40 hrs straight watching Encanto's "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from friday all the way to through saturday, no breaks, no sleep, just 'We Don't Talk About Bruno."

.....I wish this was hyperbole. I'd post a screenshot of my youtube history but that would embarrass the both of us.

And truly time does not exist. It's always "I have time" or "o sh*T". Like, I'm not always out in fcking SPACE lol. But I do somehow manage to blink away hours at a time.

Like yOU tell ME why it takes on average 12 hours to Liveblog a 23-minute Revice episode LOL!!! (Absolute insanity. How is that even possible? WHAT am I doing that's spending time like that? shEESH.)

At the beginning of 2021 I got so obsessed with Lupinranger (That I had already seen while it was airing, mind you) that in the span of a week I watched the entire show three times. You don't wanna know what it was like four months later when I was *STILL* foaming at the mouth over it, or anything I did or said during that period of time. Or.....how many times I rewatched all of Lupinranger.

And I ain't got no control over what'll catch my interest or how long I'll be otherwise preoccupied. JSKLDFjsfjasldf

When I first discovered Kamen Rider ....lol my brain decided it would be a good idea to speedrun everything Ever and the most bonKERS and iNSANE way possible.

Which is why I can say things like:

"Haha ....this is a Gorgom plot >:)))" but then if you asked me what Kamen Rider Hibiki was about I'd be like "There's a Kamen Rider called Hibiki?"

LOL.

TLDR;

I got distracted, blinked, and two weeks had passed

So when ppl ask about the analysis stuff this is LITERALLy what happens when I see them:

'o sH*t'

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime heat 1)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

Another that was so so so hard to narrow down. I did have to make special mention, though, at the sheer volume of you who (correctly) pointed out Haruka and Michiru either spending their quarantine fucking, or frustrated at being unable to fuck. Thank you, heroes.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q:  The Senshi are all quarantining together! Describe what a wonderful/terrible/wonderrible idea this is. (YOU CANNOT BE TOO DETAILED)

~~~

*  First things first: if the Senshi are all quarantining *together*, then they must be old enough to be not living with their parents (or lack thereof). Furthermore, they must be living in a place big enough to accommodate all of them. Now, the Outers already have a huge fuck-off house, so if we're cheating and saying ALL the Senshi, not just the Inners, then we can say that Usagi and the girls moved in with Haruka and the girls after high school. Usagi and Makoto and Minako have almost certainly snubbed college; Ami and Rei not only attending, but Ami is aiming to get her Master's, so both of them have to take online courses. Setsuna is teaching them. Haruka and Michiru graduated from college *ages* ago. Hotaru also has to take online courses, but for high school since she'd be about that age at this point. Chibs is not here because she's smarter than to travel back in time to when there was a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Now then! Usagi is moping because she can't see Mamoru or Chibi-Usa, so she reads manga and watches TV to distract herself. As per her usual she mostly shoves her nose into what everyone else is doing, then gets distracted by a passing butterfly and chases it until she finds something new to stick her nose into. She's honestly taking the quarantine the hardest, even though she's living in a house with all her closest friends. The delivery guy knows her by name and by her super-cute hand-sewn (by Makoto) pink-and-white bunny mask. Makoto has sewn everyone custom masks, actually, which brings us to... Makoto naturally is doing the cooking and cleaning and laundry, and while she does love doing these things, she's now doing them for NINE PEOPLE, and Usagi has never learned to fold a sock in her life, and Ami folds socks but is crazy busy with her coursework, and Minako/Rei/Michiru/Haruka can't be bothered for one reason or another, and Makoto is about to explode because everybody assumes she'll do everything and do it smiling and normally they wouldn't be WRONG but COME THE FUCK ON YOU GUYS. She is in a constant state of being two steps away from an explosion. The only saving grace is Setsuna, who does actually help out in between teaching online courses, and who patiently listens to Makoto vent, because she understands that if Makoto melts down, so will the rest of the household. Makoto has a pink-and-green rose mask; Setsuna has a wine red mask with black stitching. Ami has vanished into her room. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, STUDY. She is literally taking four courses at once because with a global pandemic, a) what else is there to do with one's life b) the rest of the household is utter chaos c) MUST DEVELOP VACCINE. She has actually be helping researchers online with this under an anonymous name. She *wants* to go out and volunteer, but understands that the best thing she can do is quarantine properly. She is constantly lecturing everyone about Best Quarantine Practices, to the point that the others mostly tune her out now. This is only piling onto her constant stress. Hotaru visits her occasionally with tea and textbooks so they can study and destress together. It's good for both of them, especially since Hotaru, with her health issues, is the most at risk of all of them. Hotaru's also used to isolation, so she's a surprisingly stabilizing presence for everybody. Ami and Hotaru both have standard hospital red-lined white masks along with their custom masks (Ami's is light blue with dolphin clasps on the side; Hotaru's is designed based on that optical illusion that's either a lamp or two people facing each other), because you need one for when the other is in the wash. Minako has become a Twitch game streamer and beauty YouTuber and is updating both CONSTANTLY, with YT guest star appearances by Michiru (who is always effortlessly and flawlessly beautiful) and Rei (who is using Minako to promote her own YouTube channel). Minako tried to get Usagi to be the camerawoman for her YT show but Usagi wanted to be the star too much, so now Minako as strong-armed Haruka into doing it. Haruka is bored out of her mind because she can't go out on drives, so she helps Minako out without complaint. Sometimes she even guest-stars on Minako's Twitch streams, depending on the game. Getting to film beautiful girls making themselves even hotter? Sure, she's into that. Minako's mask is glittery gold with red ribbons for cords; Rei's mask is black with flame decals on the sides; Haruka's is a solid black, tight and sporty; Michiru's is seemingly plain white, "coincidentally" complementing Haruka's, but is made of fine linen and silk. Rei meanwhile doesn't actually know what her channel is about and didn't give two shits about YouTube until Minako started doing it, but Minako is actually raking in a stupid amount of cash from doing this, so Rei figured, how hard could it be?? Right now she's somewhere in between doing her own beauty channel, doing paranormal investigations, cooking channel (she proudly presents instant meals as time- and money-saving masterpieces without an ounce of self-awareness. Haruka has had to hold Makoto back from suplexing her more than once), and a video review column where she tries things out and gives her opinions on them. She's *absolutely furious* that her channel is not as popular as Minako's. She's also strongarmed Haruka into being her camerawoman. Michiru allows this because watching Minako and Rei fight over their respective channels is the most amusement she's had all year. Ami asks Rei when she finds the time to study. Rei ignores her.  -- @ayu-ohseki  [I said spare no detail, AND YOU DID NOT. Thoughtful, considered, and a fun read start to finish, amazing.]

~~~

*  It is the best. Minako has a captive audience, Makoto has everyone to cook for, Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything, Ami can hole up with her books and tutor Usagi, Usagi has all the time to play games and read comics. It is the worst. Minako has a captive audience and they want new stories faster than she can make them. Makoto has everyone to cook for and they eat so much all the time. Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything but no one will listen. Ami can hole up with her books but that doesn't mean its quiet enough to read, and she can tutor Usagi but that doesn't mean Usagi is even making a small attempt at listening like in the group study sessions. Usagi has all the time to play video games and read comics, but no one will let her, especially Rei. -- @cakeandpi  [Loved the Dickensian Best of Times/Worst of Times structure, precisely the level of epic this clusterfuck needs.]

~~~

*  In the best of situations, it is difficult to find housing for nine people on short notice, and these are not the best of situations. Given that she had, from at least the age of four, been bound to the moon by a curse of blood, it should not have come as any grand opportunity to Michiru that the opportunity to recuse herself from larger society life would be immediately and aggressively offset by Haruka's invitation for the Senshi to come quarantine at the Kaioh beach cottage. 

One might assume that perhaps Usagi's parents, or Ami's mother, or Rei's grandfather, might have objected to their children being out of their sight in such a time, but that is to discount the general narrative inconvenience that seemed to pursue Michiru to the last. "Babe, there's like 6 bedrooms in the place," Haruka has said, quite missing the point entirely that Michiru had made it her goal to make use of everyone one of them. And so, here she was, where one might be sipping a glass of champagne on the veranda overlooking the sea, lover at her side, instead she was listening to the endless sniping between Rei and Usagi as they pattered about the house, there was no lover next to her, but only Ami with her endless piles of conspicuously books that Michiru felt quite certain had been selected for the view their covers provided others, Mako sending away the cook for what were noted to be COVID concerns but Michiru felt were more the concern of her longing for the spacious kitchen. Her mind preserved her enough not to speak of Minako, nor of the fact that the one she would have beside her was currently playing Mario Kart with such. Hotaru and Pluto were there, also. Michiru took another deep drink of the wine. With the volume she was consuming, she would have to switch to boxed wine. At this rate, she may qualify as hand santizer herself, which nearly stayed her hand. Usagi wailed loudly at Rei. Michiru took another drink. No Matter, she thought, for I will not die before my appointed time. The Moon will certainly see to that.  -- @docholligay  [You absolutely catered this to me and you know it, you whore. Hilarious AND beautifully written, I detest you.]

~~~

*  Usagi is thrilled to have all of her favorite people in one place. Mako will cook! Ami will read to them! Mina will write and Rei will direct plays for them all to perform! Haruka will make sure they stay fit! Michiru will teach them etiquette! Hotaru and Setsuna will also be there! Her favorite cats will be there to purr and offer guidance without actual knowledge and nagging! Yay! After a week, Usagi is still relentlessly happy. To be otherwise would be to admit that her friends are not perfect, perfectly suited for each other, and perfectly happy. She hasn't seen Haruka and Michiru at all in days; they commandeered the back bedroom with it's own bathroom and the others only know they're still in there by the noises *ahem*, by the food delivery people who keep coming to the door, and the empty food containers that appear in the hallway. Mina and Rei are not speaking to each other after the Hair Clip Incident. Ami is still diligently serving as a go-between, but Mako refused and will not give either of them any of her cooking, so Rei keeps making Hello Curry and leaving the kitchen a disaster, while Mina somehow keeps convincing Haruka and Michiru's uber eats drivers to give her stuff. There is only one litter box for the two cats, and that is not enough. And Artemis keeps leaving the seat up on the toilet. No one knows how, or why, but he does. Hotaru and Setsuna are also there. Worst (best?) of all, Usagi doesn't miss Mamoru at all, and hasn't actually noticed his absence. He's been missing for three days. -- @incorrecttact  [I ADORE the little touch of Usagi having to aggressively fake it because even she is struggling THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED. You made me bark laugh at the end. Glorious.]

~~~

*  Rei's Journal: It's day 8 under lockdown and I have somehow managed to retain my sanity. It has not been easy. By day 4 Minako and Makoto were at each other's throats because Minako tried to clip her toenails in the kitchen, due to Ami holing herself up in the bathroom. Makoto threatened to make Minako eat a toenail burrito, and by God I think Minako actually would eat it just to show Mako up. It has been a struggle to keep Usagi from eating all the food, and I fear she is contemplating the idea of eating Luna and/or Artemis. Ami is retreating further and further into her shell. She has solved every math problem in every math book she had at her disposal, and is now showing withdrawal symptoms. The walls of her room are covered in math equations. I am doing as best I can; my rations of "Here!" Quarantine snacks have been balanced to last me for at least the next week, but after that point I am not sure what happens. As a shrine maiden, I'm used to long periods of silence in my meditation. It's been difficult keeping my focus with Usagi and the others slowly losing their minds, but I am a survivor if nothing else. If I could survive D-Point, I can survive this... Wait I didn't survive D-Point FUCK.  -- @judedeluca  [Rei’s journal, yes, thank you for catering to me directly, I appreciate your service and killer ending.]

~~~

*  Everyone's locked into separate rooms by day 2, or make-shift rooms with blankets taped to the ceiling. By day 3, there's lines on the floor. Ami makes a timetable for when everyone can go to shared spaces like the kitchen or bathroom. Usagi is distressed that all of her friends can't get along, even as she has an existential crisis about not wanting to be around them herself. Rei is suddenly the mom friend, when Mako realizes that trying to help everyone leads to her stress-baking leads to her taking too much time in the kitchen leads to everyone more pissed off. Minako is alternately drunk off her ass and egging everyone on, or making notes for pressure cooker situations to add to training. Haruka gets more sullen than anyone's seen her, Michiru loses some of her polish as her nerves finally fray by the end of the week, and is cussing people out by day 9. Setsuna immediately regrets her decision not to hunker down at the time gate. Hotaru's glad to be included but so anxious she starts collecting the house's lamps in her area. Ami has to make a timetable for using those as well, so Hotaru doesn't call death to them all. Somehow, they survive. When things let up, they all promise not to speak of it again, at least not directly, and then immediately all take at least 3 days to be by themselves in their own spaces. -- @katrani  [Usagi’s existential crisis, yessss. Hotaru stress-hoarding lamps though, everything I never knew I wanted.]

~~~

*  Ordered in Michru's least loss to greatest, or conversely, Usagi's greatest loss to least: 1) they stay at Michiru's mansion. It's huge. It's spacious. Michiru disappears within minutes and isn't seen again until 14 days later. Pluto finds her easily enough for tea, Rei does so out of dogged determination, and Haruka doesn't have to try. Usagi does, but she gets lost easily and there are so many snacks everywhere, she gets distracted. what's that? A room filled with tvs? another with comics? Mako worries about her getting cavities and uses the greatest kitchen ever to cook things up. She almost never leaves there. Ami poisons the pool every time she leaves as part of the great Hatemace. Chibs and Hotaru get a chance to be kids and actually play. If the starlights are there, Seiya and Haruka have a dramatic face off. Mina makes sure to leave graffiti everywhere. Despite her best efforts, she can't find Michiru's weakness. Artemis and Luna take a vacation. 2) They stay at Usagi's, Minako's, or Ami's. They do not stay at Rei's because Grandpa is old and Rei has put the fear of god in anyone who dares come to the temple. The houses/apartments are small and cramped with just the five inners. With everyone else? Chaos. Artemis and Luna are glad they aren't affected and escape. Chibs conveniently stays in the covid-free future/"look, I already have teh vaccine! I don't have to stay here with you". Hotaru contemplates reincarnating again. Mako enjoys time with Usagi's mom, cooking together (no, she isn't crying, you're crying). Minako takes extremely long showers to piss Michiru off. Michiru is not sure how she got forced into this, she feels the hand of god in play and curses the writer internally. Pluto unravels the mystery of super!spy!Usagi's Dad but no one will ever know the answer to that. Ami escapes online and plays sims where they all have their own rooms, with Jet's help. Rei turns on the stove and pretends its the great fire to meditate. Haruka likes this long sleepover! She's never got to do one before! Usagi agrees and they plan horror movies and games and fast food. If the starlights are there, Seiya plans an even greater slumber party. Usagi helps both because more parties are always better. 3) They stay at Mako's two-room apartment. Chibs doesn't even step into the past, she's heard the horror stories from her aunts. Hotaru begins the sequence for the end of the world. Word of god or no word of god, Michiru refuses to go. When the narrative railroads her into it, she claims the balcony for herself, furnishes it, and locks the door so no one else can come. Pluto stays in the void, unreachable by all. Mako has never seen her apartment so filled and noisy and she's both elated and afraid for her plants. Her plants are terrified and tremble the entire time. Rei lives in the oven. Minako claims the bathroom--a toll is required for anyone else to enter. Ami puts all her brainpower to finding a cure to escape this hellhole. The bedroom is a nonstop competitive slumber party, and  Minako, Haruka, and Seiya have a song off. A toll is still required to enter the bathroom. Usagi breaks onto the balcony once to hug Michiru.  -- @kumeko  [I love the different branches, ALL THE SHENANIGANS]

~~~

*  (Putting Inners in college so Ami isn’t on call as a doctor) The good news is that the Outers’ ridiculously spacious mansion is, in fact, ridiculously spacious enough to accomodate eleven people (I’m certain Mamoru was not in your intentions, but it was agreed that Mamoru is a good quarantine podmate who will follow all necessary rules, and also Usagi would be insufferable if he’s not there and Mako points out that he lives alone and the social isolation would be killer) and three cats. Haruka’s happy to have Minako around all the time, and Pluto and Hotaru are thrilled to have Chibs. (Rei asked why Pluto and Chibiusa can’t just go back to their own times. Pluto gives a lengthy explanation about past and future virology that may or may not be total bullshit. No one really knows with her.) Ami is continuing her studies, as she does, and has a consistent schedule involving Study Hours and Socializing Hours. She does, however, make sure to swim in the Outers Mansion Pool every day at the same time Michiru customarily does. Neither of them says anything about this. Their rivalry continues. Michiru knows every nook, cranny, and secret passage there, and can easily avoid anyone who’s gotten stir-crazy should she so choose. Mako has taken command of the kitchen, and cannot be talked out of doing all the cooking. The food is delicious, nutritious, and is basically Quarantine Baking Times Twelve. Her skills are appreciated by all. Mamoru is likewise well-behaved, and mostly spends his time being quietly useful, spending time with Usagi, and listening to classical music with Michiru without otherwise interacting with her, making him the one man whose presence she will tolerate. The cats are well-behaved. They are the ones who are quarantining well. Minako, of course, is dying of boredom by the month and a half mark, and proceeds to take up a wide variety of hobbies, only to move on when they turn out way less fun than the video suggested. She annoys the others to show her how to bake tarts, or paint, or whatever it is Pluto does all day. Eventually she does find something she enjoys enough to stick with - wirework. While her preference is for jewelry, she does work with larger scale stuff just enough to present Mamoru with her masterpiece - Chicken Sculpture 2.0. (He seethes.) Rei, meanwhile, has also taken up new and exciting hobbies, but she will determinedly stick with each one until she has reached an arbitrary goal of Accomplishment. Even when she hates them, as is the case with birdwatching, Zumba, Mako’s attempts to refine her sense of taste, and trying to follow professional wrestling. She does take to cross-stitching once she discovers it’s basically stabbing something until it’s art. Felting, too. Between that and cleaning she’s a delight when she and Minako are not grating against each other. Which is frequently, with them both taking up all these new hobbies. (When assigning rooms, Michiru thought ahead. Rei’s and Usagi’s are next to each other, at the end of the hall. They bicker as much as ever but everyone else can get distance when really needed.) Usagi is happy to be somewhere with all her dearest friends, all the time! She is VERY BAD at waiting patiently until everyone else’s Productive Hours are over, be they online classes and homework or painting or quietly stealing Mamoru’s abstract mosquito coil shirt and throwing it through the Gate of Time and into a void where it will never again darken their sight. (Pluto isn’t a monster, and replaces it with a similar but less incomprehensible white T-shirt with a pattern. Mamoru assumes this was Minako’s doing.) Artemis assigns himself as resident Blonde Disaster Watcher, while Chibiusa - currently visiting as a roughly 14-year-old, matching Hotaru - smugly points out that she’s handling quarantine just fine. This prompts a round of furious research by the rest of the house as to whether or not cats can drink alcohol. Haruka’s practically run down a path around the Sprawling Kaioh Estate on which the mansion sits. How can she angst gaily without a mission? Sure obviously staying home and keeping safe is the most important thing and she will do her part, but that’s not nearly dramatic enough to hate herself for if she decides she’s quarantining inadequately! Michiru decides the best thing for this is to take her, Usagi, and Minako and sit them all down with empty scrapbooks. Usagi and Haruka emerge after the pandemic with eighteen volumes of Important Friendship Scrapbooks. There’s an adorable doodle of them high-fiving on the title page of each one. They designed it themselves. Despite this all, quarantine does actually pass without any of them killing each other, though Haruka and Michiru do strongly consider sending the others to Hikawa Shrine instead. Grandpa Hino can manage all this energy. No one except Chibiusa thinks to ask how Hotaru’s doing. They forgot to check her room.  -- Regalli  [I know legit sadness in my Senshi Heart that I cannot see Haruka and Usagi’s scrapbooks with my own eyeballs. Loved this whole thing, but fucking Hotaru at the end hahahah]

~~~

*  It's all a matter of perspective. Mako and Ami will keep themselves consistently busy with cooking/baking, plant caregiving, reading, eating sandwiches, etc. Mako will eventually cave, after like, day 6 and there are 3 dozen scones, they lost count of cookies, and they've got frozen meals for weeks. Rei keeps telling her to stop cooking because she stumbled into Mako's apartment with armfuls of Here! Curry! and convenience store meals. Usagi is sooooo boooooored all the time and that's a dangerous combo with Minako being soooooo booooooored all the time. The Rube-Goldberg machines, the destruction, the pranks. More about Rei sadly as I know you don't particularly care for her at all whatsoever: she is a rollercoaster. Every day is too different but it's also always the same. Usagi is eating too much of her food but nobody else is eating enough. It won't go bad this way, but Usagi STOP I GOT THAT KIND OF CHIPS FOR ME. She finds some peace with Michiru who herself trying to keep a grasp on her ~*ara*~ ness but won't admit that by day four has been wanting out. "The girls are sweet" she convinces herself as she listens to another screaming match between Usagi and Rei while Minako snapchats everything. Haruka lost it by the second day, she can't stand not doing anything and not being in motion. At first this was channeled into doing small workouts that Mako sometimes participated in from a distance, but those have stopped. How long have you been laying on her floor today, Haruka? You gonna get up and have something to eat today Haruka? Hotaru and Chibs keep themselves busy with games and movies (Chibs and Usagi fight over the TV), Setsuna plays sometimes but is just happy to watch and enjoy these moments of peace. Chib's pride is on the line because she is getting bored by day 5 but she will not be sooooooo booooooored like Usagi. Mamoru begins to bring them all takeout by day 10 and slips Michiru a bottle of wine when she comes down, she is grateful, the label brings a tear to her eye, he knows good wine. Luna and Artemis are there. They sure are cats, and they can come and go if they want. They are envied. At some point they are all laying in the living room together. They don't know how long, someone's playlist is playing in the background. They don't care. It's the longest anyone has gone without talking. It's the one of the few times they've truly felt connected with one another as a team. Minako then asks, "If I ate myself, would I become twice as big or cease to exist?" It was nice while it lasted.  -- @thatonemoonie  [Every detail is divine, but oh my god Minako’s question at the end, THANK YOU.]

~~~

*  Michiru does not have enough wine and the Moon will pay for what she has endured. -- the Lord of the Sea  [Summing it up in the perfect single sentence, brilliant.]

~~~

*  It's Usagi's idea, really. Quarantine procedures are announced and she can't help but imagine what it will be like for all her friends. Minako, stuck with family she doesn't get along with. Ami's mom under even more stress as an essential worker, probably avoiding her daughter to keep her safe from the virus. Makoto, completely alone! Rei, probably regressing from not seeing other people! This cannot stand. Usagi has visions of Mako making gigantic family style meals and keeping things scrupulously clean. Ami contentedly petting Luna and Artemis and keeping them all up to date on how things are progressing. Minako livening the mood by driving Rei insane. And all is right in Usagi's world. It IS like that... sometimes. Being stuck together 24/7 has its ups and downs, and there has never been a situation as prolonged as this one. There are tense moments, and fights over silly things like toilet paper and Usagi running up the phone bill by calling Mamoru so often. It's cramped. Ami tries to keep them up on their distance learning, and checks temperatures daily. They try some disastrous DIYS and recipes when supplies get low. Usagi and Rei have an emotional moment when one night, she tries to secretly use Moon Healing Escalation on the city. In the end, they come through stronger than ever, like always. Just with a lot more appreciation for distance and personal space.  -- @yunyin  [All incredible, but you absolutely fucking GOT ME with Rei catching Usagi trying to heal the city, DELICIOUS ANGST]

---

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3

[elvencantation]

mpub ep12 liveblog

-WAIT WHERE IS KANG BAE??

-sad they’re not showing the last scene again like they usually do. but i guess they gotta fit a lot into this last episode. imma go rewatch it again real quick then come back 😂

-alright i’m back. i rly hope this is like kang bae inside his own head while the tree fucks shit up or something. cause i rly wanna see him fuck shit up!!!

-oh no honey please don’t cry!!! i cant stand it when you cry 😭

-YES ITS INTERDIMENSIONAL DAD POV I NEED HIM TO WALK IN ON BB BOY SAVING HIS MOM

-OMG BACK TO MY BADASS BOY OMGOGMOMGOMG

-made a video of my reaction to this next bit. gonna go rewatch real quick while it posts

-SECOND TIME WEOL JU GETS TO DOTE OVER HIM AS HE’S SICK IN BED. I SHOULDNT ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DO

-OMG SHES REALIZED WHO HE IS HASNT SHE AAAAAAA

-OK NOW TELL DAD ALREADY PLS

-what in the world is going on is a good question

-*flashes back to lwj not telling wwx who sizhui is until the last episode*

-homeboy not only just found out he was actually a dad, then also found out the kid that they’d both been doting on and looking after is his actual kid (tho honestly, the found family trope wouldve worked just as well here)

-FUCK ME UPPP

-NO DONT CRY INTERDIMENSIONAL DAD ITS ALMOST WORSE THAN WHEN KANG BAE CRIES

-OH SHIT HE HAVING TREE FLASHBACKS OMGOMGOMG

-OH NO THEYRE TALKING TO HIM EVEN THO HES NOT TOUCHING THEM

-GO DIE IN A HOLE DICKWAD NOBODY WANTS U AROUND. STOP LURKING IN THAT ABANDONED BUILDING

-well i guess i do feel bad for his dad a little. and settling that grudge would really tie this whole thing up in a pretty bow. i mean, obviously its not gonna be that easy

-wait is kang bae asleep or did he somehow go find the tree? or wait is the tree even there anymore im not 100% sure what happened to the physical tree after what weol ju did

-oh ok hes asleep ofc that makes more sense

-NOPE THIS CANT BE GOODBYE IT CANNOT HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS TO THEM OR ANYTHING HE SAID HE WANTED TO MEET HIS MOM JUST ONCE

-wait is this what his life would’ve been like if they’d been reborn and been his proper parents???

-his room is so cute

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-made another little video here

-FUCK!!!!!

-srsly dude ur still lurking dramatically in that abandoned warehouse?

-I KNEW AS SOON AS HE WENT FOR THE FRIDGE THAT SHE’D HAVE LEFT HIM FOOD IN THERE I CANNOT

-oooooo pretty knife!! can she stab him (non lethally) with the pretty knife please? also i know interdimensional dad is walking into a trap or whatever but i need him to be ok. esp since that trap doesnt directly involve wonhyung but only his weird minion

-he says he wants her to feel like she’s lost everything. dude what do u think happened to her in her last life? you literally ruined her whole life but i guess that wasn’t enough because u actually had to face the consequences of ur actions

-yeah yeah we knew that wasn’t actually weol ju. but then wheres the real weol ju... is yeorin gonna find her???

-get the dad to get the kid? i’m confused why didn’t he just shift into weol ju without that? or did she have to be unconscious for that? or wait he probably thought distracting dad would give him enough time eh whatever let’s watch

-TIME FOR THE BADASS GLAIVE FUCK THEM UP DAD

-video time again!

-WAIT KANG BAE WAS HAVING A PROPHETIC DREAM IN THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE WASNT HE

- FUCK ME UPPPPPPP

-oh my GOD I LOVE HOW YOU CAN SEE HOT AIR COMING OFF THE BLADE OF THE GLAIVE?!?!

-ahhhh the glaive looks so awesome all glowing!!!

-EVEN MORE BADASS FIGHT YES OMG

-oh we using the force now!

-HE LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIPE THAT WAS FLYING TOWARDS HIM LIKE CATCHING AN ARROW MID FLIGHT AND THREW IT BACK I CANNOT

-yeah u deserve to get stabbed idiot

-AND VIDEO TIME AGAIN BECAUSE I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-WHAT ELSE DO U CALL SACRIFICING URSELF FOR SOMEONE? YOU LITERALLY PROTECTED HER FROM BEING IMPALED

-also if i was watching this at night, instead of 2pm with the sunlight streaming in through the window, i would be bawling like a baby

-WHY U JUST GOTTA KEEP MAKING MOM AND DAD CRY

-AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS LIKE BEN WHY U TRYING TO HURT ME LIKE THIS

-ok so mom is so badass with her snap of freezing time or whatever. ahhh i love it

-DONT LIKE THIS HE MOVED A FINGER!!!

-I DONT LIKE THIS WEI WUXIAN MOMENT JUST USE HIS HELP TO GET BACK UP GODDAMNIT OTHERWISE WHO WILL SETTLE THE SCORE AND HELP HIM CLOSE HIS SPIRITUAL VISION

-wait is she settling her own grudge? I DONT LIKE THIS

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-i fuckIN KNEW IT I KNEW SHE WASNT GONE

-OMG SHES STILL FUCKING PEOPLE UP YES THIS IS AMAZING

-awww samsin and death talking about weol ju i cant

-OH MY GOD WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME AGAIN THATS MEAN TO MAKE ME THINK THAT KANG BAE STILL HAD THE SPIRITUAL VISION PROBLEM WHEN ALL HE HAD WAS SOMETHING ON HIS EYE. no srsly they already did that once with weol ju i feel like this is overdoing it

-weol ju looks horrible oh honey im sorry. well, she did just lose the love of her life and thinks she failed her son as well

-I FUCKING KNEW IT DAD IS BACK TOO WHO ELSE WOULDVE RESCUED HER FROM THE DARKNESS YET AGAIN

-thank the gods. nobody has been as cruel to me as guardian. except perhaps rogue one

-AAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT WAIT TO SEE KANG BAE’S FACE

-AAAAAAAAA?!?!?!!?!?!

[thebibliomancer]

Shadows of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 11

Shadows of the Dark Crystal by J. M. Lee because I want Naia and Kylan to have a relaxing chapter.

Last times on book: Naia is on a journey to Ha’rar to defend her brother against accusations of treason. She is joined by the Song Teller Kylan who is on his way to Stone-in-the-Wood and wants to prove that the Hunter is real. Kylan and Naia fall down a hole, find that the vein of darkened crystals has spread to Spriton lands, and narrowly escape from a darkened ruffnaw.

Chapter 13

Kylan and Naia find a bridge out so the only option is to go through the Spooky Woods at night. Wait, really? The only option??

The next day after the cave adventure, Naia learns that not all mountains are the same mountains and in fact many are geographically different. Then she punches Kylan for laughing at her about it.

Friendship!

Otherwise she’s very excited about getting to the river. Finally, some actual moisture!

I-I think Naia doesn’t know what sand is?

Naia was ever thankful for the shoes Maudra Mera had given her. As the grasses gave way to drier weeds and shrubs, the earth became salty and golden. Walking it barefoot, or even in her first set of bark sandals, would have made the journey near impossible.

She’s never seen sand!

Kylan: “There used to be dozens of [Podling] communities, all throughout the area. But their numbers have been dwindling, and many families end up living with Spriton communities when their colonies become too few. Some say it’s poor crops.”

But Naia and Kylan look around the the bountiful land and think ‘doubt’

Kylan blames the Hunter which seems likely actually if he just kills random Gelfling in their homes at night. But this is also the point where the darkening starts affecting crops, right?

Could be a combination of failing crops and a dude going around killing people at random. Both could lead to smaller comunities congregating together to pool resources and for protection.

Apparently Kylan is like a noble goat because he takes to climbing the ridge on the way to the river even more nimbly than Naia.

They reach eyeshot of the river just as the Great Sun is setting.

“The Black River,” [Naia] said. A smile came over her face. “We’re so close! We’ll build a raft and ride it all the way to Ha’rar. Are there any falls?”

“Ha! How would I know?” Kylan asked. “This is new to me too!”

“No songs about Jarra-Jen and the Black RIver?” Naia was teasing, but when he shook his head, she felt some disappointment.

See, now you wish he had a song for every occasion.

When the two reach the ravine they find that the bridge has been broken. And there’s no way across the ravine without it. Naia is disappointed because she really wanted to make it to the river and stick her feet in it.

“Naia kicked a pebble over the side of the cliff and tugged at her locs. If only she had wings! Yet there was nothing at her back but soreness and a heavy traveling pack that would probably weigh her down too much to make the crossing, even if she had been able to fly.”

There’s a lot of Naia angsting over not having her wings yet in this book which makes me think that its got to either end with her getting them or deciding that she doesn’t need to hurry to grow up. And I dunno, I don’t think wings just come in like FWOOP so I think acceptance is more likely?

How does that even work though? Do they just push through the skin? Do the Gelfling... molt? I wanna know!

On their way backtracking down the cliff, Kylan stops at a boulder to do some dream-etching. Because he can just lay on hands and write on a boulder. So cool.

Because he’s the good best boy, Kylan wrote a warning to other travelers about the bridge being out. Naia doesn’t point out that most Gelfling couldn’t read.

They can’t?!

No, I guess the Skeksis wouldn’t encourage literacy programs. They prefer the Gelfling dumb.

Since they had to detour, now Kylan and Naia are traveling in the dark. Naia feeds Neech the shoulder eel some glow moss and he starts glowing after only a few moments!

That’s cool! And a remarkably quick metabolism!

Kylan be like ‘i gotta write this down later’ ha

Apparently the detour is taking them through the Dark Wood, which Tavra specifically warned Naia not to go through and which Naia is now pointedly ignoring in favor of making up for lost time.

Kylan is nervous and thinks it would be better to wait for daylight. Naia tells him WWJJD? What Would Jarra-Jen Do?

“I don’t know if you were listening, but the Dark Wood at night is when Jarra-Jen met the Hunter and was chased until he had to leap off a cliff into the Black River,” Kylan retorted.

Heh.

But Naia points out that Jarra-Jen was alone and they aren’t. And Kylan concedes that if he avoids ever seeing the Hunter, he’ll never be able to confront him.

As a Drenchen and a Spriton, and of course as Gelfling, neither Naia nor her friend were unfamiliar with forests.

They get mad racial bonuses. Simply ludicrous.

But the Dark Forest is a thing unto itself.

The strong pillars of ebony bark and dark turquoise leaves were interrupted only by thick brush, shrubs, spiny rocks, and flowering land corals with huge white night blossoms. The earth was padded with layers and layers of leaves and moss, rippling over the forms of the ever-present roots that sometimes arched from the land in swooping forms that created hoops and arches under which they walked.

Naia asks Kylan if his bard-brain knows the name of a vine root and he suggests she just ask. The vine. And brings back up the conversation re: her dreamfasting with not-Gelfling.

She tells him that it never happened until recently but she’s sometimes had trouble controlling her dreamfasting. Gasp! Possible protagonist power! All along she thought she was bad at control but really she had a secret gift!

Also, is this related to how Kira formed an angry mob of animals and had them swarm the Scientist? I thought that she just learned Beastmaster.

Also also, she wasn’t touching any of them so, no, probably unrelated.

The two Gelfling hear a low eerie moan in the forest which spooks the glowy flowers until they close up. Naia hides Neech so his glowy doesn’t give them away.

In the darkness, something huge and serpentine pushes through the forest.

Kylan backed up against Naia and they stood together, breathing in sync. When Kylan’s fingers snaked around Naia’s wrist, she tried to brush him away.

“Don’t grab me now. I need to be able to move.”

Kylan jumped, moving away from her, though the warm grasp on her wrist only tightened. Voice piqued with surprise, he said, “I’m not...”

Oooooooooooo what a spooky! This chapter and the last I missed out not reading on Halloween!

What really grabbed Naia was a cluster of tendrils which yanks her into the air and tosses her through the forest from tree to tree, separating her from Kylan

=O

And then they just drop her. Rude.

No sooner had she regained her footing than she heard something rushing toward her. She ran as roots and branches lunged for her, scratching her arms and legs in their attempt to catch hold of her once more. Her ears burned as a flock of hollerbats burst from within a knotted old tree trunk, screeching and flapping their clawed wings as they thrashed past, but she couldn’t stop to curse them. She knew she was running deeper and deeper into the wood, but she had no other choice. If she stopped, she would be caught, devoured by the Dark Wood.

She’s getting the full Night in a Spooky Wood experience and I am here for it. And here for feeling bad for her. Geez. Poor Naia.

Hopelessly separated from Kylan she decides to head towards the Black River in hopes that he’ll think the same thing and they can meet up there.

But as she walks, she sense the presence of something lying in wait at the center of the Dark Wood. Something... off.

Yes, the Dark Wood sang the song of Thra, but notes were off-key, as if it had forgotten parts, or was too distracted -- too disturbed -- to fall back into tune.

Very evocative! Very unnerving...

Then someone calls her name.

The voice paralyzed her, a wisp of cold air tickling the backs of her arms. She turned toward it, wary in disbelief but unable to deny what all her senses were telling her. A Gelfling boy stepped out of the tree cover, exactly her age, with matching clay-colored skin marked with Drenchen spots and speckles. his locs hung at his shoulders, and he wore a beautifully embroidered black-and-violet soldier’s uniform. Naia’s breath was stuck in her throat, her heart leaping.

It was Gurjin.

??????????

[tysonbaerrie]

hockey fic recs

An anon asked for my favorite hockey fic a while back, and I got so distracted re-reading my faves that it took longer than I planned. Also, I just hit 300 followers, so this seemed like a perfect time post some of my favorite fics in this crazy hockey fandom that I adore. 

GEN

Dry Spell by @marmolita -  Five times people failed to break Tyler's goal-scoring curse and one time they succeeded.

I absolutely love this fic, if only because every time I see Sebastian Aho now I think about how he’s a magical elf. 

JAMIE BENN/TYLER SEGUIN

Jump Into That Water by @greymichaela - You are not your biology. Tyler’s mother had told him that so many times growing up. When he told her he wanted to play hockey but was afraid to go up against so many alphas.You are not your biology. When an alpha triggered his heat during a scrum and Tyler had to be carried off the ice, fever already burning up his bones.You are not your biology. Tyler wishes he could believe her.

I love the A/B/O dynamics at play here, and Tyler’s characterization is spot on. One of the first A/B/O fics I read and I still think about it on the regular. 

Silence by @kwriteshockey -  Jamie and Tyler hook up. They know it's a bad idea. They can't stop.

I think this is the first fic of Kira’s that I got a sneak peek of and I couldn’t stop thinking about it until she posted the full fic. There’s longing and emotions and pining and basically all of my favorite things in one fic. 

Assist by hatrickane -  Tyler has gone so long without touching an alpha that it's starting to have a negative effect on him. Good thing Jamie is always willing to help him out.

Literally the first A/B/O fic I ever read and still one of my favorites. 

SIDNEY CROSBY/EVGENI MALKIN

a thrill that I have never known by Mellow_Yellow - Sidney always knew his family would pick who he ended up with. It was how things were done, and no matter what the outside world thought, he'd never questioned it before because it was just the reality: ice was frozen, getting checked against the boards knocked the wind out of you, one day Sid would be matched to someone his parents and the matchmaker and his aunts and uncles and his community thought was the best fit for him. And best of all, Sidney wouldn't have to worry about it. He would just focus on hockey. He'd deal with it one day. Eventually. 'One day' had seemed so much farther away when he was younger.

I wish there were a thousand fics in this AU for all of my favorite pairings. I love the themes, Sid’s characterization, his relationship with his religion, and the evolution of his relationship with Geno. Still my favorite Sidgeno fic and a favorite re-read. 

First Day of My Life by ChibiRHM -  The first girl Sid ever falls in love with is named Rachel Forbes. When he first meets her, she’s four weeks old, pink, and squishy-looking. Objectively, she’s kind of ugly, but she’s so tiny when he sees her in the incubator at NICU, and he’s never seen a baby that small.

I love kidfic and this is good kidfic. How Sid and Geno slowly fall in love and their love of Rachel is just....god, so good. This fic is like a warm blanket. 

SIDNEY CROSBY/TRAVIS KONENCY

(How Do We Fall Apart?) Faster Than a Hairpin Trigger by crookedsilence -  Since presenting at fifteen, Sid has had no interest in finding a mate or bonding. Unfortunately, mind over matter only takes you so far in life, and in the summer of 2016, he finds himself receiving some less-than-encouraging news about his biological needs.

I know, okay? I know but this is so good and it’s the fic that made me decide to claim a Sid/TK prompt for Pucking Rare and the fact that there’s only three fics for this pairing is criminal. 

TRAVIS KONECNY/NOLAN PATRICK

got my eyes on you by Anonymous - Travis lets himself into Kevin’s house with his key and maybe screams a little bit at the sight of the tall, shirtless stranger with a tiny ponytail who’s washing dishes in his kitchen. Said stranger doesn’t even really react, just looks over his shoulder with a flat, unimpressed look. “What are you doing here?” he asks, in a low, rumbly voice.Weird attitude for a burglar to have. Or maybe some kind of crazed fan? He’s pretty big, but Travis thinks he could take him. Maybe. “What am I doing here?” he kind of yells. Sue him, he’s still in shock. “Who the fuck are you?”

My fave quarantine fic I’ve read. This is just so cute and fluffy and just so very TK and Patty. 

TYSON BARRIE/GABRIEL LANDESKOG

I Would Never Leave You In The Dark (gave you the center of my heart) by Bluejay141519 - Tyson flinches. His breathing is shaky but he’s been nothing short of a wreck for the last few days. He can do this. He owes Gabe this.“ He said yes to dating you for real, remember? He said yes once. Give him a reason to say it again .” (Or- Tyson fucks up).

My favorite Landesbarrie fic. Tyson’s an idiot, Gabe is soft, and the whole thing is just everything I look for in a fic. I’ve probably re-read it half a dozen times. 

the light through the windowpane by underwaternow - It still probably wouldn’t have amounted to anything besides Tyson’s own personal suffering if it wasn’t for the game against the Blues a week later. Brayden drops his gloves before the puck even hits the ice, and after an extremely shitty loss Gabe corners Tyson once the media has left the room, as he’s shoving his helmet back into his bag. or, the one where Gabe and Tyson fall in love, break up, Gabe gets married, Tyson falls apart a little, they don't speak to each other for awhile, and then they finally make up. colloquially referred to as “sad fic” but there's very much a happy ending or, the one that's “about” “Gabe and Tyson” but is really Tyson's story

This fic broke my heart and then slowly put it back together again. Through most of the fic, I wasn’t even sure I wanted them to be together, but by the end I was crying into my pillow at 2AM. 

MICHAEL LATTA/TOM WILSON

Salt Year by pukeandcry - Mike will never play hockey again, and he’ll never have the life he had in D.C. with Tom again, and those things were – they were all he wanted. He had exactly what he wanted in life, at least for a short time, right up until an otherwise clean hit against the boards just happened to land in a freakish, nightmare way and shatter his left leg in more places than he can even remember now. His whole life had been stolen away in a matter of seconds. And that’s exactly the kind of thing he can’t think about if he wants to get through the day.

This was recced to me by a friend, and I had never read this pairing before but it absolutely wrecked me. Complicated, messy, but beautiful and it hurts in the best way. 

PATRICK KANE/JONATHAN TOEWS

Trust Fall by trademarkgiggle - Patrick's always thought of himself as a difficult sub. What he doesn't know is that in the hands of the right dom, he'll melt. (Jonny is the right dom.)

So, okay. I really don’t care for Patrick Kane and some of the kinks in this fic are not my thing, but I was recced this by @kkane88 and I though okay let’s give it a shot because I trust her taste without question. I ended up staying up all night at one point because I couldn’t stop reading this and was basically liveblogging my reactions to her as I went along and I feel like that’s how we truly bonded lol. 

Blur by @kwriteshockey -  Patrick's in love with Jonny, but he can't have him. He decides to go home with Kesler. (He doesn't).

SPEAKING OF KIRA (again!), let’s talk about how she made me feel feelings with this gem of a fic. We love possessive jealous Jonny more than anything. 

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: port draavos / 3.23.20

and now for something different: the misadventures of the hope’s guard

so for the past 3 years ive been in an ongoing dnd5e campaign run by michael called Explorers of Arvus, which is super cool and super fun and i love it a whole lot! and back when i used twitter, i’d liveblog our sessions and that ended up being my way of note taking bc im otherwise quite terrible at it

after i stopped using twitter, that had the side effect of me not keeping notes anymore, so i kind of didnt remember any of the past couple sessions? especially because its hard for all 6 of us to have like, schedules that make sense, so there’s a lot of distance between each session.

and then i realized i can just take notes shitpost-liveblog style and then just… like, put it on tumblr or whatever. i’ll probably make like, ill probably port over my old liveblog threads onto here sometime but until then: we played d&d today! Time For Shenanigans

some quick context: we’re called the Hope’s Guard, but our unofficial silly name is Chunch Bunch the Dungeon Master is Michael aka Skalter aka @openlyeight​ Taure M’ea is a half-elf paladin played by Penn aka @penn-name​ and she is doing her best. Sieron Astora is a human (secretly half-orc) wizard played by Jorb aka @jorbs-palace​ and he’s basically the protagonist, and also starting to be gay for Charlie Charlie Wickfield is a halfling wild magic sorcerer played by Leos aka us and she’s known for being very chaotic, lighting things on fire, and having a high charisma score but no idea how to articulate anything Thorne is a half-orc warlock played by Solar aka @craftlands​ and he grew up in nonsense land aka the feywild and i love him, and also he’s fine-tuned to be able to snipe the shit out of anything within a 600 ft radius of him w/ eldritch blast Silje Cottonwood is a tabaxi blood hunter played by Nyx aka @patheticnyas​ and he is very edgy but also a cat and is VERY gay for Thorne our general goal is to stop some motherfucker called Halvkar / the God-King from… i dunno, being a huge bitch? he dumped zombies all over Arvus and that’s a problem. its late at night and i just played d&d for several hours

AND SO: WE PLAYED D&D FOR THE FIRST TIME OF THE DECADE

last time:

chunch bunch beat up the cult and now we’re FINALLY GOING TO ARVUS, YALL (also we picked up a cat) (his name is silly. its silje but literally pronounced like “silly”) sieron hatched a child! so like, we have a lil coatl friend now OH RIGHT SIERON HAS A MOM. sierons mom is here charlie and sieron attempted to have a gay scene but charlie went off script by being “[internal dial up noises]” when sieron said something really heartwarming we’re in fort draavos! and now we’re picking up sidequests and just kinda wanderin around. woo!

NOW, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS:

thorne and charlie discuss the morals of necromancy, and also the concept of “[charlie voice] necromancy racism”

EVERYONE IS BONDING WITH CHARLIE TODAY taure gave charlie the rune of wound closure and told her to stay safe and im :keralisweep:

accidentally started a cutscene bc charlie is very loud in a temple, oop. some priests(?) glared at us and walked off and im sure they wont stab us later! ingrid the adorkable friend has been having reoccuring nightmares about a dark figure w/ black robes standing above a bleeding platform high in the air over a swamp and summoning undead, so we’re gonna go hit that up! it MIGHT be like, a vision of the past, but even if so thats still pretty relevant also there’s a cool half orc lady named undril silvertusk who we’re gonna escort to camp vengeance! she’s awesome

thorne: i was in a dungeon once charlie: you got better! thorne: [points] i DID get better!

summer: can i roll to steal the laser gun? michael: if you find the dragon, you can try to steal the laser gun.

solar: guys, we have to protect the lesbians at all costs. and if one of them turns out to be an ancient gold dragon and curses my dick, then so be it

taure: dont worry, i wont let you die. ingrid: …okay :D!

THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE IS FINALLY HAPPEN sorry thorne. charlie dabbed at a buff tiefling charlie is too fucking short for the hot springs. also she’s like 50% hair so she is Dying

time for food! we ran into an adventuring party that is apparently based off one michael was part of in another campaign, and i think the buff tiefling is his? also taure ordered samples of everything and then got Super plastered

thorne rolled really good to infodump hardcore about arvus artifacts and it is cute and id die for him oop michael asked for all our passive perception

omg theres an introduction of a ~mysterious character~ and originally theyre supposed to just sneak off but then michael realized they’d be genuinely interested in thorne’s infodumping so now theyre just Lurking

the opposite of a slow burn is a fast explosion

[everyone gets distracted quoting realtime fandub]

oops taure is depressed! ALSO SHE BROKE UP WITH SIGRA??? charlie is VERY bad at emotional support so she’s just “uhhhhhhhhh”, but thankfully thorne catches her before she faceplants into her potatoes CAN ANY OF US CARRY TAURE??? SHE’S IN FULL ARMOUR AND ALSO PASSED OUT

michael: what do you do with the bottle? summer: eat it

charlie get haircut! WITH SWORDS. her hair is now like midway down her back so its like, a bit shorter than when she first met everybody silje: do you want this [the hair he cut off]? charlie: UH WHAT WOULD I .. DO WITH IT… silje: …make a rope? charlie: yknow what i might as fucking well, who knows if id need spare hair

penn: i dont think taure is horny tho! summer: ITS OK, SILJE IS HORNY ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

michael: Sieron, Str of 10- action hero Thorne, str of 14- twink nyx: silly, str of 13- cat solar: i guess thorne is a hunk. michael: thorne is a twunk summer: the t in thorne stands for twunk

taure, extremely drunk and sad: CHARLIE IM SORRY I MADE YOU BURN DOWN THAT LIBRARY (sieron and thorne carried her to bed and she ended up apologising a whole lot about literally everything)

jorb/sieron wants to know if charlie’s hair has any lingering wild magic nonsense!

thorne’s staring out the window! and also discord kept censoring solar when they were trying to say that THIS ENTIRE AREA IS WITHIN THORNE’S RANGE. solar: i could shoot someone at the thundering boar tavern [from our tavern] jorb: [as thorne] WRONG TAVERN, IDIOT!

solar called soldier:76 a cornfucker and it blindsided me so hard

michael: silje cottonwood, dark edgy blood hunter. [flops over on camera] NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

WE’RE NOW MAKING NONSTOP FORT DRAAVOS PUNS. i had to go clean pepper’s litter and when i came back they were STILL GOING

thorne pets silje on accident bc silje ws doing an anime squat on the balcony’s railing and is now having a crisis of “is it appropriate to pet the furry?” AND ALSO SILLY IS VERY SOFT

jorb & michael: [say something cursed] summer: [looking around frantically] I DONT HAVE AN IMPROVISED WEAPON solar: Allow Me. [brandishes baseball bat on camera]

[fearfearer]

i have caught up with the magnus archives.

when i started listening, i started a text file to note down any thoughts/confusion/analysis/jokes i had as i listened. i isolated a few bits of it into standalone text posts that i already posted, but here is the whole thing, my long-form liveblog

thoughts on the magnus archive as i listen

jonny sims gives an impassioned performance of someone's statement-- a diegetic impassioned performance, as we witness it being interrupted and resuming-- and follows it up with his own judgement of merciless doubt. classic. why the impassioned performance? he's just a nerd. i dearly hope this is the fandom consensus

every episode ends at the perfect volume to which i have adjusted it, and then i start the next episode and it blares in my ears. i think the volume of the intro must be like 1.75x the volume of the rest

*makes a serious effort to listen to and remember the name and date at the beginning of the statement recording* *forgets completely within 2 minutes*

i saw a fanart of gerard keay and learned [1] that he must be a good guy after all, since they drew him lookin cute, and [2] that his name is not, in fact, jared key. what, am i supposed to be looking at the transcripts? understanding names properly? in my defense, jonny sims clearly articulates "Jared" when he says it. maybe i'm not as good at decoding british accents as i thought. [footnote added in later: ok good i'm not the only one who hears "Jared" and thinks "Jared" instead of "Gerard"]

when gerard keay was described as having numerous eye tattoos on his joints, obviously my first thought was, "including the ankle? so he's count olaf?" because that's definitely a way count olaf would disguise his eye tattoo: by tattooing eyes everywhere else too and becoming The Eye Tattoo Guy. anyway this is part of why i was not at first inclined to think favorably of gerard keay

"The first thing about this statement that makes me dubious is that it comes from a fellow academic." if you know shit fuck you

it has come to my attention that there are ships. makes sense... after all, everyone in every fandom is horny af*. i'm not in deep enough to ship yet but naturally i'm keeping an eye on it

*horny af for depictions of intimacy, sexual or otherwise, but mostly sexual

definitely feel like i need to be writing down every name i hear because they're never not cropping back up but for now i'll just let it all wash over me

so sasha has been replaced with not-sasha, huh? pretty sure. though i'm not good at distinguishing voices. but that sounded pretty different, and my listening comprehension wrt that table isn't that bad. <<as time passes i doubt myself more and more on this point but not enough to go back and listen again

"You believe me?" "Yes, I think I do." (smashes button labeled "CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT" and a loud buzzer sounds)

IT'S MICHAEL!!! i hope michael is a long-term good guy... he's not seeming like a good guy right now... he says he's mostly neutral. vaguely recall seeing a tumblr post about michael in the recent past but that didn't give me any hints and i don't remember it well anyway. michael's voice is good though. good laugh

i'm not good at visualizing characters based on descriptions, let alone based merely on their voices, so the only image i have in my head of jonathan is a furrowed brow

i'm on episode 49 and i don't like jonathan's distrust of his colleagues... i don't understand why his immediate suspicion was that gertrude's murder was an inside job. hasn't he just learned firsthand that the institute is not impenetrable? it's not inconceivable that someone could enter and shoot her and leave. especially when it took place in underground tunnels connected to unknown locations.

there's a good Old Lady Voice Combo on episode 62

so agnes montague was heavily cursed... that's my conclusion after episode 67

elias seems to tell jonathan to "get some sleep" a lot. though it IS generally good advice

episode 70, 9 minutes, 41 seconds: jonny sims's cell phone goes off in the background

small brain: ghost ship medium brain: ghost train galaxy brain: dirt train

i wanted to see if there was fanart of michael so i looked it up... i might as well have googled "blonde slenderman"

sweeney todd mentions tally: II

for some reason, hearing michael described this time as "a tall man with curly blonde hair and an unnerving laugh" puts an image in my head without my consent, and that image is chris fleming. now, he's not quite blonde, is he? but that doesn't change my casting decision, which is now set in stone. hope he does a good british accent

"YES i know what a meme is."

why is melanie the first/only one to notice that sasha is now not-sasha? is it because she is experienced in firsthand paranormal encounters (whereas the archivists are experienced in decidedly SECONDhand paranormal encounters, save for the worm debacle)? oh, my question was answered handily in the next episode. ok.

the replacer definitely limits its glamour to everyone except one person just so that it can be amused by the distress and confusion of the one person who can see the truth. that must also be the reason it chooses a completely different appearance. it surely COULD replace a person with their exact likeness; it just uses another face for fun, and to be satisfied that it can get away with it.

this table has appeared in like 10 episodes... Guess It's Crucial

jonny sims yelling while swinging an axe. jonny sims goes through michael's door (eyes emoji)

the idea of the replacer killing jonathan and not even replacing him brings to mind "AT LEAST RIDE IT YOU ASSHOLE"

wasn't expecting to hear from leitner at this point... he's dropping tons of lore here. too much lore. so much is happening. i have to say i kinda like it better when the stakes are not quite so high as this.

so at the end of season 2, tim and martin believe that jonny sims killed this guy, who they probably don't know is leitner... and we the audience believe that elias, now almost certainly a double murderer, has very quietly stabbed leitner to death. do i the audience believe it? i'll keep an open mind for now. things are not always as they seem. except when sasha was replaced with not-sasha, which was exactly as it seemed. [footnote added in later: looks like elias being a double murderer was exactly as it seemed.]

so jonathan sims is the name of the actual guy voicing jonathan sims. it's a cecil situation. so are they someday going to go back and retcon every episode to change his name, like with palmer/baldwin? or does jonathan sims just not mind being a character as well? as long as it doesn't devolve into RPS i guess it's fine. if there's fanart of jonmartin i hope it doesn't depict them as their actors bc that's too close for comfort to RPS

there's been a truly hellish c*ndy cr*sh ad that has played like 40 times between episodes and i'm pretty well convinced to never ever play that curséd game

elias has some serious blackmail for daisy, huh? that's heavy, having police characters in fiction who do extrajudicial killings. life imitates art imitates life

"i'm not on drugs or anything. ...what? i could be on drugs!"

he said "ample opportunity" but like "amplopportunity" with emphasis on the "plop"

it was obviously elias who delivered the statement to jonathan in hiding, because he knew he would record it despite not being at work... bc he's a nerd

so if gerard keay has eye tattoos, does that mean he also serves the uhh the observing or whatever? [verdict arrived at later: no he just has those because he's cool. or because his mom tattooed him. ok almost certainly the latter.]

"what do i feed it?" obviously you feed it filled up cassette tapes, jon... nothing has ever been more obvious

it's okay that jon very stupidly burned his hand to a crisp. you don't need even one hand to turn on a cassette recorder. you can do that with your nose

so if these people who are wax figures serve the desolation, and not-sasha was spending time at the wax museum, does that mean there is a connection between the replacer and desolation? i think that would make sense, since both seem to enjoy making people feel bad feelings. also i'm starting to think that agnes was not actually cursed, but that would mean she burned that guy on purpose after being nice to him... was she just really selfish in that way? using him to experience Dating and mutilating him when he crossed the line, so she punished him as a cruel goodbye? or just building up his hopes so they will be even more fun to burn down when the time comes?

"perhaps doing a bit of mindless filing will help distract you." honestly that is something i would like to do in real life... i do enjoy a good mindless task. though doing mostly mindless tasks 40 hours a week is not a fun time for me lately. but it would be better if i didn't have to listen to bad radio at the same time

what?! the friendly midnight acrobat described in episode 90 sounds totally non-threatening and i hope there's fanart of it. was that gym just jared the bone turner helping people live their twisted athletic fetishes?! [footnote added in later: YES! god i hope people draw these turn-boned creatures optimized for their gymnastic of choice. show me a person who remade their body specifically for the balance beam]

so the power endowed in the archivist by the viewening is that when you sit them down across from someone they want to interview, that someone will invariably spill SOME beans and think it was their idea. maybe? [footnote added in later: yes.]

ok so Michael "The Distortion" Michael, of fractals and golden ringlets, has specifically tormented this other michael, lichtenberg michael?

jon is clearly moved to ask questions by an external force because he's a sensible guy who would not try to ask questions when daisy is holding a gun on him

i think basira has precisely the same accent as estelle... or maybe just a similarly staccato way of speaking (or of line-reading)

[episode 93] elias: (holding jon's face between two pieces of bread) what are you? jon: (sigh) the archivist...

well, they did something i didn't expect them to do with this show: create a compelling in-universe reason for jon to read statements aloud. because obviously until now there was none.

jon did the cockney accents. (insert emoji for indescribable feeling)

here's the purpose of the pit: if we all climb in the muddy pit together at night, the earthquake will only jiggle us gently and no one will be inside collapsing buildings to be crushed. it's only logical

ok i was gonna say this before but why is jon still at georgie's house??? he's not on the run for murder anymore, right? he has an apartment with all his stuff in it, right? [footnote added in later: i still don't understand why it was like this.]

i will confess that usually once the credits start to roll i zip to the next episode, but this time i zoned out a bit and it's really funny that jonny sims reads out "Rate and Review Us Online" in his archivist voice

a third michael. this one is probably already dead though. unless distortion michael takes over this guy's body or something. oh, jon came in at the end of the episode to say precisely this.

was episode 100 mostly improvised? if so, that would be appropriate. but i wouldn't put it past them to write every stuttering bit of those four statements

MARTIN...................................................................................................................................................... (typed this as martin gave some of his own money to the lady who expected payment for a statement)

i'm skipping 100.1 through 100.5 for now... just for now.

ok so michael is michael but not lightning mike michael, and two of these michaels are dead, but one is something that has never been alive nor dead. got it

everyone's morality is much more gray than i at first anticipated. the only people who seem to be solidly and earnestly on the side of good, as much as possible, are jonathan and martin and basira and georgie and maybe tim?

so michael just died and was overtaken by pseudo-helen? neo-helen? ok. that's kinda too bad, as i enjoyed michael's terrible laugh and unpredictability. but the feeling of michael being revealed as having been michael shelley feels somewhat similarly disappointing (but a bit less staggeringly groan-inducing) to when the mysterious koro-sensei in assassination classroom was revealed to have been a twink in his past. because of course he was. (that's when i stopped reading that manga. too precipitously dumb to sustain my suspension of disbelief.) it's like, ok, you had an interestingly mysterious character going on, but having solved the mystery, what interestingness is left? not much. fortunately this was resolved by promptly ending the existence of this michael and instead introducing new and improved helen

ooh martin has the asky ability too huh? nice [footnote added in later: he only used it this one time, and i'm wondering if they did that and then forgot and decided that jon is actually the only one with asky ability.] [[another footnote added in much later: How did i manage to mistake jon’s voice for martin’s voice? How?]]

the way martin said "kumo ga tabeteiru" in episode 110... alexander j newall does not watch anime

"I'm a book." ~Gerard Keay, 2017

it was a few episodes ago now but i noticed that when jon clearly articulated "Jared" referring to gerard, elias was like "Jared? you mean Gerard Keay?" (pronouncing it like "Gerard.") there is definitely a disagreement between these two (actors) about how to pronounce that name

the eye, the spiral, the end, the stranger, the lonely, the desolation, the slaughter, the vast, the buried, the dark, the corruption, the web, the flesh, the hunt.

Q: why would anyone want one of these rituals to succeed? A: it's their fetish. it's their sexual fetish

ok time to make up names for each possible apocalypse. these are the real and true names according to me, who knows such things: the eye - the viewening the spiral - down the drain the end - the really end end the stranger - oh wait we know this one. it's the unknowing. the lonely - the alonening the desolation - Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Lightless Flame the slaughter - world war all the vast - the expansion the buried - the grand lahar (or the Smothering) the dark - the extinguishment the corruption - the Great Rot the web - the spidening the flesh - the smorgasbord (or the Eatening) the hunt - come and get it

gerry said there was no dark god of indigestion, but i can tell you from personal experience that there is. though it's true that there is also fear involved, so maybe no separate pantheon is necessary

i sense that there is a battle between people who say it like "gotta get myself oriented" and "i feel disoriented" (as feels correct/natural to me) and people who say "gotta get myself orienTATed" and "i feel disorienTATed," and this podcast falls SQUARELY on the latter team. they've said it like 20 times

idk why he has to be such a dick to helen. jeez

the guy who coded his mind into a computer, which of the 14 was that? the corruption? the stranger? gotta be the corruption, but that doesn't fit perfectly with its rot/bugs aesthetic...

speed -> speeding -> sped. heed -> heeding -> hed. thus i decree

in my dream i listened to a whole episode of this show, narrated by gertrude, and i was like "whoa this is cool" and i went to write it down but i was still in the dream and writing doesn't work in dreams :( also any successful writing in dreams doesn't transfer to real life paper :( the only snippet i remember: “...in his white mouth, which had known only bread...”

"I, uh..." Jonathan Sims, a thousand times, 20XX

martin's job is PLAINLY to distract elias and elias barges in like "martin. i see you're trying to distract me." and martin's like "maybe i am!"

o, jonny took a breath. that's good

he wasn't hooked up to an EKG or anything? you spend long enough with no heartbeat that they're just like "i guess we can turn this off"

this episode about philosophical zombies sounds a lot like that NPC meme from a year or two ago... and it makes me kind of uncomfortable, the way this person inspects others to determine whether they are True Minds or Impostors based on their emotional expressions, their eyes... because i don't always do the correct or appropriate expressions, and would someone judge me as being a non-person who is trying and failing to imitate human emotions?

i generally don't enjoy ships that have more-or-less explicit canon support, but i can't say jon/martin isn't good

melanie blaming jon isn't right... no one had a better plan to stop the unknowing, did they? (they didn't!) didn't all of them agree on the plan and understand that they might die? (they did!) she's just imposing survivor's guilt upon him because he survived for supernatural reasons. but it's not like he eagerly embraced his new supernaturalness, or even asked for it outright! i think she's being unreasonable. i didn't like her insistence on trying to kill elias either, even though elias is a huge dick. what's with her?

wait, peter lukas is the lonely? (meme where calculations and equations whiz past me)

jonathan baa'd

oh, see. the bullet is making melanie act without reason. i get it now. can't say i think they had the best approach to getting the bullet out, but all's well that ends well (???)

martin is being prohibited from talking to jon >:I martin is on a first-name basis with peter lukas >:I...

martin grumbles, "i don't like being manipulated..." while obviously and continuously allowing himself to be manipulated

jon is afraid of and uncomfortable with what he's becoming, at least to a degree, right? but he seems to be going about his duties (i.e. feeding the eye) with vigor and without reluctance. is he really that motivated by his own desire to know and understand? who is he doing this for? is the eye's influence on him so strong that "doing what the eye wants" seems to manifest as what HE wants to do?

"He'd place it over the one he wore already, and he would larf and larf and larf" (from breacon’s statement... just heard it like this for some reason)

deep water could be the domain of both the buried and the vast, because you could lose yourself in the vast ocean, but experience the physical effects of being buried under thousands of feet of water...

so tom han was an avatar of the flesh but he ultimately died after being tortured by the spiral... right?

"we're not people, though, are we? not anymore." close enough, i'd say.

jonathan has deployed THREE "I, uh..."s in episode 131 alone and i want to smack him in real life. FOUR NOW. JON. JONATHAN SIMS THE REAL ACTOR. LISTEN... quit falling back on your "I, uh..."s. and if they're written into the script i'll punch whoever did that too. total of five in a single episode. never utter "I, uh..." again

i hope whoever's throat is okay after doing bone turner voice for a whole statement.

jonny sure needs saving quite often, doesn't he.

peter lukas being a slightly chipper advocate for becoming a follower of the lonely is very strange

neil lagorio and his whole cinematographic history is made up but they namedropped kevin costner, who is real

VERY, VERY GOOD laugh at 23:44 of episode 136

melanie getting her session recorded... i was doing audio transcription for a while and you'd definitely come across bits of therapy-type sessions that very much seemed like they should have been confidential.

i wonder if the eye ultimately turned its back on gertrude and allowed her to be killed. if jon could survive a collapsing building, could gertrude not have survived a couple of bullets? wouldn't the difference be the protection of the eye? [footnote added in later: of course now i see who turned their back on whom.]

i'm somewhat heartened to learn that agnes montague was, in fact, a heavily cursed individual, though she seemed to have embraced it to a degree... and she wasn't made of wax.

i like that jon now includes helen in his office politics briefing

basira's like "Edmund Halley" and jon's like "Halley's comet?" (like “Hale-ey”) and two minutes later jon's like "Edmund Hally" (not "Hale-y")

"What's this?" "OH... That's, uh... that's... my rib..." "Right." (tiny clunk of rib being set down)

so giving a statement puts a curse on you... or is it "having a statement extracted / being compelled" that puts a curse on you? and the resulting curse, the fear it reawakens, is that good for the eye, or is that good for the powers that initially caused the fear?

well, i heard a homestuck reference in one of the patreon names at the beginning of an episode, and who is surprised? of course, i'm not one to talk

episode 144- the english think their summer is bad... as a professional "hot weather is bad" person, i feel doubtful, because if the sky is grey, it is not as hot as it Could Be, and therefore one should quit one's bitching

first statement about the extinction... interesting. but hearing martin be a jerk to daisy makes me sad :(

the powers never tell avatars exactly what they need to be doing, but that's just concerning the means. the ends are always clear: the power gets fed. and all of the powers feed on fear. also jonny is horny for statements. i hope, but also doubt, that his harmful behavior is at least partially the spider's doing. oh, i see now that it's not. yeah.

jon wants to eat fresh and delicious statements produced just for him, instead of reconstituting the dusty old statements already in the archive

episode 148 - samson stiller gets a crush. but in all seriousness, is he becoming an avatar of the eye but like, not institute-related? is that a thing? i guess that would make sense, but still seems weird

episode 149 - considering ring -> rang -> rung, we seem to have stumbled upon spin -> span -> spun, and the compasses gently span around (9:40)

does martin have loneliness powers now? it's sad that he is getting lonely... as a lonely person, i know.

the lady on TV in episode 150 was just speaking simlish.

i really want jon to overcome his urge to forcefully take statements because i want to be able to root for him still

british podcasts really have a leg up over american podcasts, at least among american audiences, purely based on their interesting and varied accents

i can't say the gravedigger's envy doesn't make me myself feel like going to sleep in the cold dirt forever. but bad depression lately is also a factor, so

jonathan having to settle for reading already archived statements instead of harvesting fresh ones is exactly like a vampire (not the kind detailed in this series) who has to choose between hunting people to suck their blood or drinking bags of donated blood from a (near-endless) stockpile. there's an ethical choice with a clear right answer, but the urge is also understandable

jon following up gertrude's tape with just "fuck" was really good. now he's like "ok martin. let's run away together"

spent all day at work thinking about how i can't fuckin believe the first thing jon did when he heard how to escape the institute was to go tell martin like "there will be a great cost, but... we can elope now"

also if tim was still around jon would tell him the way out and he would do it right then and there, i'm 100% sure. like before jon was finished explaining tim would be like "the eyes? (grabs scissors) got it. (does the deed)"

earlier today i was just thinking that we would almost certainly hear gertrude's death on tape, especially given that we now understand tape recorders are wont to turn on autonomously whenever something important is happening. anyway then i came home and heard gertrude's death on tape

peter, as an avatar of the lonely, is easy to play like a cheap whistle because as someone who clearly hates spending time around other people, he is not keen to the symptoms of being played.

elias is like "you'll have to go into the lonely to get him" and jon's probably thinking "but then at least we'll be in the lonely... ~*~*~together~*~*~"

i think martin's whole thing for most of the series has been that he sounds a little doofy, for lack of a better word, and people constantly underestimate his intelligence. and now he has played peter lukas like a cheap whistle and forced me to realize that by taking for granted that he was being successfully manipulated by peter lukas, i too was underestimating martin... and his pure love for jon <:3c no but seriously i even remember explicitly making a mental note to remember that martin is smartin but it fell by the wayside as my emotions (of sadness that jon and martin seemed to be growing further apart) took precedent

i work a non-verbal job just doing mundane tasks and that gives me all the time in the world to think about things like "if they were to have jon and martin reunite in a tearful embrace, how would you convey the physical contact in an audio format? like, whap? soft thud?"

jon enters the lonely and voiceover peter comes in to try and factcheck the ship

i guess it makes sense that peter would try to do the ritual for the lonely all by himself

did he kill peter by asking him to death? or did peter just self-destruct rather than be forced to answer?

the way jon snapped martin out of the loneliness just by making him look at his face... that's powerful. as a lonely person, i know that the most cry-making thing you can realize when you feel alone is that another person is, in fact, there with you

martin went for a walk and now it's thunderstorming. i wonder if he came back as soon as it started raining and now he's standing nearby invisibly as jon reads the intimidating magnus statement. ...I GUESS NOT

i plan to read through the transcripts of all the episodes (as it’s faster than re-listening, though i might selectively re-listen) so that i may better understand some things and answer some questions in this post that i didn’t ultimately resolve. i can’t say i was paying 101% attention all the way through. also april is very far away

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 45-50

This is the “Soldier of Fortune” arc.  I thought there was a song by this title and there is!    Give it a listen.

This opens with a flashback to Pip Bernadotte’s childhood, where he finds out his whole family is a bunch of mercenaries.    His grandfather confirms it, and I should point out that Grandpa Bernadotte is the most mercenary-looking dude I’ve ever seen.   He’s wearing a friggin’ beret while he tells Pip about how his dad died in some war to raise money while Ma Bernadotte was pregnant with Pip.   Was Pip’s mother a merc too? 

I guess my point is that this whole scene feels really stupid to me.   Kid Pip grew up among mercenaries, but he’s literally the last person in town to find out about it.  How do the kids at school know?   Are the Bernadottes that well-known?   I always assumed mercenaries tried to keep a low profile.   Then again, they are entrepreneurs, so maybe the kids in school found ads about the Bernadottes in the phone book.  

Even so, was Pip’s family trying to keep this a secret from him?  Because Grandpa sure wasn’t.   Not with that beret he’s got on.   It’s like he’s been waiting Pip’s whole life to tell him, so why didn’t he mention it before?  You’d think he’d want to raise the boy to follow in his footsteps, the same as Pip’s dad.  Did Pip’s mom not want him to grow up to be a mercenary?  It just seems like she should have known that wouldn’t work out.  

Anyway, Grandpa Bernadotte waxes philosophical about killing people for money, which doesn’t seem like much of a justification.   Pip was very upset about the whole thing, and I don’t think Grandpa said anything to make him less upset, and then we flash forward to the present day, where Pip’s a mercenary.

I mean, what was the point of that flashback?  Pip was horrified to find out his family kills for profit, and then at some point he got over it and joined the family business.   Why didn’t the flashback show us that moment instead?  It seems more relevant.  

At any rate, I feel like the flashback is overlooking the true point of Pip’s character arc.  He starts out a soldier of fortune like his father and grandfather, but by joining up with Hellsing he’s now fighting for a much nobler cause, ridding the world of unspeakably evil monsters.  He still seems to look at it like just another job, but it’s still important.  His defense of the Hellsing mansion is a lot more heroic because he’s fighting against daunting odds with very little hope of surviving to see another sunrise, let alone his next paycheck.  

Back to the main story, when Millennium’s forces invaded London, they sent a company to the Hellsing HQ on the outskirts of the city.   Zorin Blitz was tasked with leading this group, but she was ordered to hold off on attacking until the Major gave the word.   The Major then fired rockets at the mansion, only for Seras Victoria to shoot the rockets down... and Zorin’s zeppelin.   Now, Zorin is trying to lead a ground attack on the mansion, except Pip has turned the entire yard into a minefield.   

Seras disapproves, but Pip doesn’t care.   In this sort of conflict, he and his men, the Wild Geese, are at a complete disadvantage.   Vampires, even the weaker, artificial vampires of Millennium, are faster, stronger, and harder to kill.  He hints at some sort of vampiric ability to read an opponent’s movements, too, which might have something to do with that whole “third eye” trick Seras and Alucard use.   Against all of that, landmines are a sensible precaution, since they’re powerful enough to kill a vampire in one shot and don’t rely on a human operator with killing intent. Seras can gripe, but if Hellsing had used mines back in volume 2, the Valentine Brothers never would have made it inside.  Pip clearly read up on that debacle, since it must have taken weeks for his men to bury all these mines.

The landmines do kill a lot of Zorin’s troops, and the Wild Geese lay down heavy fire from the mansion to keep up the pressure, but Zorin won’t give up so easily.   She uses he powers to create some sort of zany illusion, where everyone sees a giant Zorin Blitz attacking the mansion.

So what the hell is Zorin Blitz, exactly?   I thought she was a vampire, but reading this manga has revealed that Rip Van WInkle is a werewolf, which led me to suspect Zorin is a werewolf too.   But the manga is silent on Zorin being one or the other.  I check the Hellsing Wiki, but it contends that both women are vampires, and the term “Werewolf” just refers to the group of officers in Millennium.   This group includes literal werewolves like the Captain and Schrodinger, but not Blitz and Rip.   

Maybe it doesn’t matter that much, but I find it a little silly to call all four of those characters “Werewolves” and then only two of them are really werewolves.   Clearly, all four of them are a cut above the Major’s other troops, and none of them show any interest in drinking blood, or any other vampire-exclusive traits.   On the other hand, this whole battle takes place under a full moon, and none of them seem to be affected by it.    Unless the Major chose this particular night to launch his offensive because he wanted them all to be at full power.   Maybe Zorin couldn’t do this illusion thing otherwise.

Anyway, the Wild Geese see this giant woman slashing at them with a scythe, and they all panic.   Seras sees it too, but she somehow intuits that it can’t be real.   Then she sees Alucard, who reminds her of her third eye.   I’m not sure if this is a flashback or Alucard is using telepathy to coach her from the deck of the H.M.S. Eagle.  

Either way, Seras uses her third eye and not only sees through the illusion but lines up a shot on the illusion-caster.  But it only grazes Zorin.   It disrupts the illusion, but it doesn’t end the threat.

And even though the illusion is shattered, it still distracted the Wild Geese long enough for Millennium troops to enter the mansion.   Seras manages to shoot them down, but there’s more where that came from.

Because the Nazi bastards figured out a way past the mines.   They just threw a bunch of knives on the ground and played hopscotch to get across.   I guess this means they can only get in one at a time, but it’s still bad news for the good guys.

So Pip adjusts his tactics accordingly.  He and his men will regroup and hold up in a defensible location, while Seras roams the building to take the fight to the enemy.   I guess the idea is to divide Millennium’s focus.   They can attack the Geese or watch out for Seras, but not both.   For some reason, Seras calls Pip “sir”, like he’s in charge, and maybe that is appropriate in this situation, but I thought Seras was in charge of their training.  

Then one of the Geese pats her on the butt and Pip steals a kiss.   I’m not sure what the hell this is about.   I guess they were trying to lighten the mood before they go to face certain death, but if my life depended on some vampire girl killing all the bad guys before they can rip me to shreds, I probably wouldn’t sexually harass her, or do anything else to tick her off.   But that’s just me.

Pip seems resigned about their chances.  He’s confident in Seras’ ability, but there’s only one of her and like... 30?  Let’s say 30, thirty Nazi Vampires heading their way.  If even one of them gets past Seras, the Geese will all die horribly.   But they took this job and the risks that come with it, and besides, there’s nowhere for them to run anyway.    He seems to accept the situation with a mercenary sense of honor.   Like, a mercenary should expect to die in some unwinnable battle, and they shouldn’t complain about it, since it’s the nature of the business. 

Anyway, it doesn’t go well.   The nature of the comic doesn’t really make it clear how the Wild Geese are operating, but I get the impression that they’re doing sort of a fighting withdrawal concentrating their forces as they give ground.    But they suffer a lot of casualties in the process.

This leads to the Geese holing up in the big conference room where Integra met with the Royal Order of Protestant Knights before the Valentine Bros. attack.   One guy panics and wants to bug out, but Pip reminds him of what I said a minute ago.   They’ve got nowhere else to go, and they all got into this for the action, so they should stick to their principles, even in the face of death.

There’s this one guy from “B-block”, who I guess was covering a certain hallway, but B-Block got cut off before they could join the others in the Round Table room.    Zorin Blitz decides to have some fun with him, so she uses her weird powers to make him see himself back home, with his dead daughter.  

This seems especially cruel, because it’s not like Zorin needed this diversion to kill one dude.   She’s just really sadistic.

Meanwhile, some other Millennium guys are eating the Wild Geese they already killed, and one of them shows off his ability to tell blood types just by taste.   It’s this really sick moment, but at the same time it humanizes the characters, which is a weird thing to say when discussing Nazi vampires, but you know what I mean.

Then Seras blows the dude’s head off, which is extremely satisfying.

So Seras is holding up her end, and growing more resolute with each kill.   She’s really improved a lot since the last time she was in action.    Yeah, these Millennium vampires probably aren’t that much tougher than the vampires she killed back in the summer, but there are a lot more of them, and they’re trained soldiers on top of that, and she doesn’t have Alucard backing her up like she did before.

By now, all that’s left of the Wild Geese are in this barricaded room, and they’ve run low on silver bullets, which means even the few shots that don’t miss will have almost no effect.   Pip is determined to hold out, confident that Seras will save them, but...

She runs out of bullets before she runs out of enemies to kill.   When she arrives to save the day, she’s still has to go through Zorin Blitz.

But Zorin doesn’t see this as a problem, and she uses her freaky mind powers on Seras, forcing her to relive memories of her days at the orphanage.    Yeah, Seras was an orphan, remember?   Alucard asked Walter about her parents a while back, and Walter said they were both dead.  How did they die?

Well, Zorin Blitz is about to find out...

[journeysintowebcomics]

Girl Genius Liveblog #211

UPDATE 211: Black Market Adventure

Last time Agatha was preparing to go to the black market to search for clues about the missing scientist who specializes in time. Let’s continue!

But first, there’s Seffie. She has received the result of Colette’s orders: the party that’s being arranged is now a masked ball! So she wasn’t telling Seffie about Agatha’s decisions and actions, like I thought she was. I’m relieved, the less information the backstabbing redhead family has, the better. Well, redheads plus this old lady here, who is very skeptical about the masked party. She thinks anything Voltaire is planning will benefit them too, and is very skeptical the Master of Paris is the one behind the decision of making everyone be costumed.

Seems to me like this old lady is an important figure in the Storm King competitors family – and turns out she’s Seffie’s grandmother, so yeah, she really is quite high in the hierarchy. Neat. To her it’s rather transparent Colette was the one with the idea.

It’d be quite impressive if Colette made huge changes to the party just to keep Seffie busy and unable to focus on anything else other than her costume. Maybe the party is after Agatha’s three days are over, in which case this all would be an excuse to keep her and anyone else going to the party busy with their preparations and away from Agatha. In which case heck yeah, Colette, keep up the good work. The last thing Agatha needs right now is obstacles.

Yup, it definitely is to keep them busy. Just look how happy Tweedle is, already looking forward to making lightning effects for his grand appearance. This is going well already! Seffie doesn’t seem to mind Colette’s plans now, if only because it’s keeping Tweedle busy, and even orders her own Smoke Knights to get Tweedle’s distracted.

It’s now the evening, and Agatha is with Colette, Hoffman, and pals. They already are at the black market.

Wow, this place is Shady with capital S. The giant grim reaper statue really makes that clear. Also, what the heck is the Heterodyne style snail cheese announced in that poster? Agatha really needs to get lawyers hired.

Looks like they already know where in this rather large place they have to go, guided by the Castle. And indeed, soon they reach a round building. Inside there’s a clank with a floating holographic head – neat!

Somehow I don’t think a clank who may or may not consider humans inferior is a good thing to have in the black market of Paris and ready to access who knows how many things, but hey, worse things have happened in this universe.

After Agatha is forced to stay on topic instead of getting distracted by science, she continues the conversation. At first that seller clank refuses to talk, and they once again almost get distracted, and then her tune changes when she sees the wasp eater. It’s a delightful creature, and very valuable nowadays due to how very few are left. It’s so valuable the seller wants to broken a sinfully lucrative deal. Oh, money! Then again, I don’t think Agatha is poor by any means, what with being the heiress of her family and all their sins. Pillaging must have made quite the fortune, and now it’s all hers.

Well that’s pretty obvious: it was an order from the Other. Wulfenbach made all the wasp eaters be destroyed, and I recall seeing how that blimp with the scientists studying these creatures be obliterated. There wasn’t really much doubt it had been ordered by Wulfenbach, but yeah, this just confirms it further.

Agatha has a shopping list, and as expected, it’s going to be terribly expensive. Good thing she has something here that’s sinfully lucrative. Giving details won’t be as lucrative as giving the living creature, but it’ll be valuable enough. Still...I’m kind of worried of who will acquire these details. I don’t think this clank will refuse to sell to someone if the price is right.

Pffft, I don’t even know why, but these couple frames side to side just amuse me so much. This is great. I’m having fun nowadays with Girl Genius! Ever since the Castle Heterodyne plotlines ended, this story has gotten on my good side once again. Excellent.

To sweeten the deal, Agatha offers samples of her weasel’s claws, and argues this information is going to be sold to so many people – and at ludicrous prices, I imagine – there’s a fortune to be earned here. I for one, despite my concerns of the wrong person getting this information, do think having more wasp eaters around is a good idea.

And that’s it. Deal settled. Change of scene! Meanwhile, while Agatha negotiates the sale of so many details about the wasp eater, someone goes to see someone who seems to be one of the Other’s...geisterdamen, was it? The pale skin, white hair, and lack of pupils kind of indicate it. The news of one of the weasels existing is getting around already. Hey, that means that clank is going to get a hella quick return of investment! She should increase the credit she’s giving Agatha.

Oho, things are going to get ugly. Look at all those hives. Making this office so cramped, this cannot be healthy. Either way, clearly one of the Other’s plans is going to start moving, so let’s hope Agatha can do something about that. Otherwise, weeeeell...there’s going to be material for like twelve volumes, really. It’ll take that long to clean up the Other’s newest mess.

I’ll end the update here for now!

Next time: two updates

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 46

Egwene dispenses justice and completes an arc

Chapter 46: To Be Forged Again

Patiently? In the fires of pain?

After crossing the bridge to Tar Valon as a victor, the day nearly became a blur for Egwene.

I hate this sentence construction because it happens all the time but if you look at it closely, the subject of the sentence is ‘the day’ rather than ‘Egwene’ which implies that it was the day that crossed the bridge to Tar Valon as a victor.

(It’s also one of those things where, once you’ve learned to be annoyed by it, you start seeing it everywhere).

Egwene is being instructed in the protocol of Amyrlinification and I’m getting a strong sense of déjà vu, while Egwene herself is getting a strong sense of what it means to be a fictional character with a nicely bookended arc.

“I was raised by the rebels, Siuan,” Egwene said sternly. “These women deserve the chance to stand for me as well. Otherwise, I will never have a claim to their loyalty. The ceremony must be performed again.”

Also, in times of chaos and disaster and uncertainty, there’s often a very compelling form of comfort in falling back even more on traditions and rituals that provide a structured pretence of normalcy and certainty. There are rules to follow and they all know the script and when everything else is falling apart, that feels like a safe harbour. And right now, that’s not something to be discarded lightly—especially when it’s a ritual surrounding the elevation of someone to leadership and power. They can’t afford even a hint of instability now, or the slightest crack in this façade of tradition, not when the Tower itself is cracked and nearly broken. This is something central to who they are, and to alter or abandon it now would risk shattering what is left.

It’s important to know when to do something radical, when to throw out the rulebook, when to shock everyone and push for change…and when to take a step back and permit tradition and allow the dust to settle.

“Once I am finished with the ceremony, I will greet them and formally accept their apology for their rebellion and welcome them back into the Tower.” “Accept their apology?” Siuan asked incredulously.

“They rebelled against the Tower, Siuan,” Egwene said, looking at her. “Whatever the need of what they did, there is reason for apology.”

“But you were with them!”

“I no longer represent just them, Siuan,” Egwene said firmly.

It may seem harsh—or even absurd—but I think Egwene is actually being very wise here.

Because this is a victory, but it cannot be a victory for one side over another; it must be a victory for the Tower. This has to be a case of the Tower victorious over its own near-destruction.

So combine that with the notion of falling back on tradition and ritual and formality in times of chaos and uncertainty and a formal apology and pardon seems very appropriate.

It’s a way of providing closure, of acknowledging what has happened and drawing a clear, official line under it. Of ritualising and formalising the end of the division, and the distribution of responsibility. They are all responsible, they all have to swallow some pride, they all have to come together on as close to equal footing as possible, and clear the air between them as much as they can, if they are to fix this. It can’t turn into an ‘I-told-you-so’ or a ‘but-you-started-it’ between them.

It’s a balancing act. And I think formalising as much of it as possible, and using the Tower’s own traditions and structures to help bring everything into balance—understanding that she must be raised according to the usual protocols, requiring a formal apology from the rebels even though she was one of them—is a very good way of going about it. She’s basically going ‘here are all the things that each side does or could feel wronged by’ and formally addressing those things, because while it’s not going to fix all those problems, it undercuts their potential to fester and grow into bigger problems later.

Put less formally, it’s like when you have to hold two siblings apart and put the toy in the middle and make them both apologise to each other (‘sorry for what?’) and accept each other’s apology and maybe each say one nice thing about the other.

“I will acquit them, and we can get on with healing.”

It absolutely is just a formality, and she intends it for that purpose. She’s not trying to rub their noses in anything, and she’s not deliberating over whether to acquit them or punish them or something else; she’s just very aware that there are some steps that need to be taken in order for healing to be possible, and crossing the t’s is a good way to start. It lets them get on with the genuine parts.

“The Tower needs to know that the rebels regret the division. They needn’t lie and say that they wished they had stayed, but I think it is appropriate for them to express sorrow over the hardships the division has caused. I will acquit them, and we can get on with healing.”

That, basically. It’s a reframing of both the victory and the conflict—not as one side against another, but as the Tower against this division and strife, which they can now work on putting behind them.

“Your Warder?” Tesan asked of Egwene.

She regarded Gawyn, and was forced to confront a whole mess of emotions. Anger, affection, passion and regret. What a strange mix. “No,” she said. She stared Gawyn in the eyes.

I’m going to take this out of context as Egwene flat-out denying Gawyn because it makes me happy and you can’t stop me.

The way this is being handled goes some way towards, if not redeeming, then at least balancing the absurdity with which the romance between these two was introduced and established (YOU CAN’T DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP ENTIRELY VIA FORESHADOWING AND YES I’M STILL ANNOYED ABOUT THIS). There’s an acknowledgement here of the complications, and I like that ‘but they love each other’ isn’t immediately treated as a way of skipping over those. I like that Egwene gets to have these conflicting feelings, and gets to be unsure of exactly how to deal with Gawyn, and gets to rebuke and deny him because he fucked up and she’s angry and this isn’t the time.

Yes, this was a different experience entirely from the one she’d had back in that humble wooden building where she’d been raised by the Salidar Aes Sedai. In many ways, her performance in Salidar had been but a rehearsal.

Character growth!

The grand, domed room beyond now had a blasted hole—a gaping emptiness—directly across from the entrance. It looked out at Dragonmount.

I feel like there’s really no commentary required here; the symbolism is about as subtle as the blast that made that hole.

The Amyrlin Seat stood by the far wall, directly in front of the broken wall, its back ot the sprawling landscape beyond and distant Dragonmount.

You know, just in case it wasn’t clear enough already.

But let’s be honest, I love this sort of thing even when it’s not remotely subtle. The Amyrlin Seat in front of the wound in the Tower! The Amyrlin seat turned away from the world outside! The Amyrlin Seat set up with its back to Dragonmount, like a declaration of opposition! And yet the barrier between them torn away, and both now seen in the same tableau!

Egwene almost misses her cue because she’s distracted by taking a roll call of all the Aes Sedai present—or, perhaps more importantly—not present.

There was something Egwene had been considering, something audacious.

Oh, so it’s Tuesday.

What does she want Silviana for? To pardon her? But then why ask her to be brought now, rather than waiting…unless…Sheriam is dead. Egwene can’t choose either Lelaine or Romanda as a replacement without risking upsetting the balance of power; actually, she can’t really choose any of the (former) rebels without upsetting a different balance. Elaida was Red and the Reds are in disgrace and the Ajahs are at each other’s throats and Egwene is of all Ajahs and of none…anyway it’s a possibility. I’d put a very small amount of money on that being the reason she’s asking for Silviana, which would indeed be audacious. But…fitting, in this delicate dance of repairing divides and restoring balance.

Finally the ceremony begins, and we’ve all seen this before.

Of course, that’s very much the point: this is the far bookend of the arc that began for Egwene with that first raising. This is where it comes full circle and yet is almost inverted; when she was raised in Salidar it was out of division and conflict and a need for a puppet, and now she is being raised as a symbol of reconciliation, and as a true and strong leader whom they can all respect.

Why had she been chosen? Both times, it seemed the same answer. Because she was the only one they could all agree upon.

Differences, and yet some similarities. She’s not wrong, and she’s not under any illusions about the reason for her raising—though I think there is in some cases more to it than this simple pragmatism—though I’m sure she intends to live up to far more. She understands the situation, but she doesn’t need more from them. It’s not about her ego; she doesn’t need them to love her or to raise her out of any sort of admiration. She just needs to be where she can help them, and that’s what she plans to do. This, like the apology she spoke of demanding from the rebels, is just the formality that will allow for the genuine progress and healing.

“Are  you certain you want to bear this weight, child?” Saerin asked in a very soft voice. This was not part of the ceremony.

“I bear it already, Saerin.”

This entire ceremony is far more important for all the other women in the room than it is for Egwene herself. She doesn’t need the Amyrlin’s stole and staff to do whatever she can to help the Tower; she’ll do that anyway. But they need the stability and security of process and tradition in a time when all else is chaos, and they need to have a symbol of that stability. That’s what it’s about, more than an actual conveyance of power. And maybe it’s just going through the motions, but sometimes that’s what is needed.

“Elaida cast it aside when she tried to slice it and divide it as she wished. I took it up and have carried it since. I would bear it to my death. And will.”

Saerin nodded. “I think that might be why you deserve it,” she said.

First of all, that whole ‘I would bear it to my death. And will’ is ominous and probably foreshadowing.

But the main thing I like about this is how it isn’t just a tired echo of the whole ‘those who don’t want power are best suited to it’ notion. Egwene doesn’t deserve to be Amyrlin because she’s modest and lacking in any kind of ambition; she deserves to be Amyrlin because she has worked tirelessly at just that for months, now. She deserves to be Amyrlin because she already is. Because she’s been doing the work of Amyrlin even when the title has been denied to her.

And I think that’s the idea that ‘give power to those who don’t seek it’ tries but sometimes fails to express. Egwene deserves to be Amyrlin because she’s not seeking the position for itself, or for her own vanity, but rather for the ability to guide and heal and lead the Tower. She does want to be Amyrlin, but it’s because she knows she is up to the task, and believes herself to be the best person for it. And is determined to make that true.

So I like the…nuance of this. That it’s not about wanting or not wanting power; it’s about what you plan to do with it, and how willing and able you are to wield it to that purpose.

Now it was time for some surprises.

It wouldn’t be a real meeting between Egwene and the Hall otherwise, would it? Some traditions must be kept, after all.

First surprise: Silviana.

“Mother,” Yukiri finally asked. “Is this the best time to be dispensing judgement?”

Somehow I don’t think that’s what’s about to happen here, Yukiri.

Egwene withdrew her hand from the kneeling Silviana and looked directly at Yukiri, then turned her gaze across the waiting Sitters. “You all bear a great deal of shame,” she said.

Or rather, Egwene’s not dispensing judgement on Silviana. On the Aes Sedai of the Tower…that’s another story.

“This,” Egwene said, gesturing toward the broken wall. “You bear responsibility for this.” She pointed at Silviana, still kneeling. “You bear responsibility for this. You bear responsibility for letting the Tower remain so long in division. Many of you bear responsibility for that division in the first place!

“You are a disgrace. The White Tower—the pride of the Light, the power for stability and truth since the Age of Legends—has nearly been shattered because of you.”

She stated earlier her intent to require an apology from the rebels, but they’re not the only ones who are going to have to face some hard truths. She’s not letting anyone off easy, and that’s the key here. Not only does it keep division from worsening by ensuring that no one ‘side’ can feel superior—or feel treated unfairly in comparison to the other(s)—but it also forces all of them to really look at what has happened. And to accept their responsibility, because they are all responsible, to some degree or another. It has come to this, and now they must find a way forward, and they cannot do that until they acknowledge where they are.

It’s a stripping-down of pride in order to put them all on even footing once more, as well as to make them recognise how little they have to focus that pride on right now. The Tower is nearly broken, and they have all but fallen apart, and they can’t just deny that anymore, not if they are to rebuild anything. And so in a way this harshness is absolutely necessary, because it may be the only way to strip away illusion and conceit and petty (or even not so petty) grievances and rivalries and actually start afresh and build something worth being proud of again.

“There have been foolish Amyrlins before, but non have come as close to tearing down the entire Tower! You are a check upon the Amyrlin. You are to keep her from doing things like this! You allowed her to disband an entire Ajah? What were you thinking? How is it that you allowed the Tower to fall so far?”

Tell that to Congress.

They can’t keep blaming each other, or even Elaida, for their failings, because then they will not have actually dealt with them, and it will only make it easier to continue to do nothing. And they can’t look solely to Egwene for their salvation, because again that frees them to take no action, and inaction and indecision have been contributors to this whole mess in the first place. And so reparation begins with acknowledging, at least to an extent, their own complicity in the disaster.

Egwene really does do an excellent ‘I’m not angry; I’m just disappointed’. (‘Except I’m actually angry as well’).

“Only one woman in this room was willing to stand up for what she knew to be right. Only one woman dared defy Elaida, and she accepted the price of doing so. And you think I brought this woman here to exact vengeance on her? Are you really so blinded that you think I’d punish the only person in the entire Tower who did anything of decency these last few months?”

It’s an even stronger example because of the fact that it was Silviana who beat Egwene on Elaida’s orders for so long. But that’s just it; Silviana was following orders, which is respectable, within the bounds of reason and legality…until Elaida went too far, and then Silviana challenged her. She didn’t fall back on following orders as an excuse to turn a blind eye to a violation of Tower Law, and she didn’t use Elaida’s status as Amyrlin—or even her threats and punishments—as reason to remain silent.

And so Egwene holds her up as an example, and it highlights the commitment to fairness and justice; it’s not about who she likes or dislikes. Silviana beat her and yet is being praised as one of the only people here who has shown decency, while even the rebels—of whom Egwene was one—are not getting away lightly.

“Silviana Brehon, I would have you as my Keeper of the Chronicles. Let it not be said that I spurned the Red.”

Well done. It sends a message to the Red that Egwene does not plan to retaliate, or to disband them as Elaida disbanded the Blue. It sends a message to the Tower and Rebel Aes Sedai alike that Egwene intends them to be reunited. And It’s also a way of setting a very clear precedent that contrasts with the one Elaida has set: Egwene is not going to dispense judgements based on whim and mood. She won’t demote someone to Accepted for disagreeing with her if she’s promoting a woman to Keeper who beat her.

“This will be a difficult time for the Red Ajah, daughter,” Egwene said. “Their nature has always been to capture men who can channel, but reports claim that saidin is cleansed.”

“There will still be rogue channellers, Mother,” Silviana said. “And men are not to be trusted.”

Someday, we will have to move beyond that sentiment, Egwene thought. But for not, it is true enough to let stand.

She’s learned to pick her battles. (Or at least, she’s learned that ‘fight everyone all the time’ is best left to Nynaeve). There is only so much change she can effect at a time, only so much she can challenge, and only so far she can push without shattering them all over again. It’s a frustrating truth of politics, sometimes.

She also knows that ordering penance is fairly pointless—this is a time for justice and some necessary harshness, but she also knows, it seems, where to stop. They need to be able to move on, and setting penance as Elaida might once have would just keep them focused on the past, not to mention foment resentment. Instead, any penitent feelings they may feel a need to express can be directed towards rebuilding the Tower.

Egwene took a deep breath. “And I am not guiltless either. I share some of your shame, for it was during my tenure that these disasters occurred. I sided with the rebels, allowed myself to be raised by them because it was the only choice. But that choice still gives me culpability.”

I love this. I love that no one is exempt, not even herself. She is harsh to all, but to none unfairly. And I love the way agency comes into this: she made her choice, and believed it the only one, but that does not absolve her—or any of them—of the consequences. Those, they must face, and so better to face them together on equal footing. This is their shame, as Aes Sedai and as the White Tower; in an ironic sort of way it’s a foundation of unity from which they can build.

Mostly, though, I just love ‘it was the only choice, but that choice still gives me culpability.’ This is the moral reckoning I love so much. She did what she had to do, but it was still her choice. That’s what her arc has been about: duty and necessity but never without agency. She makes her choices, and stands by them. She does not behave like one forced into her place by fate, fighting it all the way, but like one who chose even when it seemed like no choice at all.

It’s a smaller hint of a bookend, maybe, but it reminds me of her meeting her toh before leaving the Aiel. When she learned to admit to what she had done—even if it was something she believed must be done—and face the consequences of it. And now she is doing so again, in front of those she intends to lead: owning up to her ‘crimes’, such as they are, and accepting that she is not without fault. She’s come a long way.

“Bear your shame, Sitters, but bear it with determination. Do not let it break you. The time for healing has begun, and there is no longer any use in pointing fingers. You failed. But you are what we have. We are all the world has.”

Egwene says it more eloquently than I have, but…that’s it, exactly. It’s time to move on. They have to accept what they have done and what has happened, and where they stand now, but they must also look ahead.

And now it’s the rebels’ turn.

First, Silviana wants to know how the whole Keeper situation is going to be resolved, and Egwene just casually responds no worries, there won’t be any competition, Sheriam was Black Ajah and therefore disqualified. Oh and also would you mind moving the ter’angreal storehouse? Pass the salt.

“I will not pretend that our division did not take place. We of the White Towerare sometimes too eager to forget those facts we don’t want to acknowledge. This one cannot be hidden, not from us who lived it. We were divided. We nearly came to war with one another. We have disgraced ourselves.”

Note the pronoun she uses. This is something they all have to acknowledge, herself included. And she’s only too right that they have a tendency to sweep such things under the rug. It’s why these announcements and harsh pronouncements are necessary; she has to make it impossible for any of them to just…sidestep the problems that led to this point in the first place, because then what is to prevent them from going back to that?

And so we get a speech similar to the one she gave the Sitters, though the wrongs she cites are different—and once again, she makes it clear that she shares their shame, as she shares the shame of the Tower Aes Sedai.

“You must take responsibility for your crimes, even those performed in the name of the greater good.”

I’ve said this before, but Egwene has evolved to occupy the niche of Lawful Good I find most interesting. That space in which crime for the sake of the greater good may be necessary or admirable, but still requires a form of justice. It’s an odd balancing act in that it should be an impossible contradiction, yet occasionally you get a character who manages to hold that space and make it work, and she has become one of them.

And really, it comes down—again—to an issue of agency, of choice and consequence. Do what you must, and pay the price.

“You did not come here in glory,” Egwene said to them. “You did not come here victorious. For there is no victory, and could have been no victory, when sister fought sister and Warder died to Warder.”

She was ready to take that step herself, to attack the Tower, if needed. She was willing to make that choice, knowing these consequences…but she knew what the consequences would be. And so I don’t find this to be hypocrisy, but rather full understanding of their situation and what it could have come to, and in some cases what it did come to. This is not a victory, because the situation was such that no matter who won they would all lose.

And now for the rebuilding. Enough of shame and fault and guilt; time to focus on what can be done to prepare them for the future.

It’s well done. I’m proud of her.

Even if the exclamation marks are getting a little excessive.

Next (TGS ch 47) Previous (TGS ch 45)

[gascon-en-exil]

FE16 Blue Lions Liveblogging

Chapters 17-18. Lots of heavy plot content here.

The further along I get in the war phase the more superfluous the monastery content and calendar system becomes. I haven’t gotten any new paralogues since Annette and Gilbert’s, because I believe you only get ones for characters you’ve recruited and I’ve exhausted all of those. I’ve read that Dimitri may have one toward the end, and Mercedes shares hers with Caspar of all people so that’ll have to wait for a playthrough when I do inter-house recruiting, but apart from that everyone in my army has had one. There’s little to do at the monastery but grind professor rank and Renown, mostly for supports and a last few skill ranks. What little there is in the way of quests is just Gilbert asking for resource contributions. It’s like the endgame WoW of years past, only without even the option to do group content (not that I would, but regardless).

The enemy AI for the school phase’s Battle of the Eagle and Lion allowed it to feel like a genuine struggle between three opposing armies, but round 2 in the war phase sacrificed narrative for the sake of difficulty. The Alliance forces charged my position after a few turns and didn’t go for the Empire at all, leaving me to play more defensively to neutralize their flying archer lord (...I really hope Claude spontaneously getting a wyvern gets some kind of explanation in the Deer route, something more than “because Almyran, just go with it”). Dedue once against punched Edelgard into submission because he’s distinctly good at that - really goes along with the hunting her down and killing her bit in another route, which TVTropes is now claiming can still happen if you choose to spare her. Huh.

Student kills: Ferdinand and Bernadetta from the Eagles, Lorenz, Raphael, Ignatz, Leonie, and Lysithea from the Deer, with the others either retreating or still unseen in the war phase. Petra was the only one who really surprised me by retreating instead of dying.

Starting in Chapter 18 Dimitri can be interacted with again like a normal unit. While I have issues with some of the presentation behind his change of heart (see below), it’s good to have him working on supports and building his skill ranks during training sessions again. Not that he really needs the latter; his stats are massive and both his sword and lance ranks are nearly maxed out.

The story map for Chapter 18 introduces magic/technology hybrids that act like either monsters or siege towers, on top of having at least one enemy caster with a traditional siege spell. Adding a lever far into the map to shut down the lightning towers was a nice touch.

Most of the master classes have been a pain to grind toward, as only a few units have what it takes to be true hybrids. Sylvain is evidently one of them, but sending Mercedes through cavalier to work on her riding for holy knight made her borderline useless. At least some of the advanced classes are good enough to where they could feasibly work for endgame (but I do still want a holy knight, so Mercedes will continue poking things for a while).

Story/Character observations

I’ve been getting all kinds of A supports. Dimitri/Dedue and Felix/Sylvain are as gay as advertised. Catherine/Ashe is one of those rare plot-heavy support lines, where we find out more about Lonato and Ashe’s own drive for revenge. Byleth/Gilbert is not even slightly romantic even late into their A support, which makes me wonder why he’s an S rank option for either gender when it’s more about pushing him to go home to his wife. Ditto Gilbert’s supports with Annette. Ashe/Annette gets kind of cute in the end, but Felix/Annette involves entirely too many of her comically bad songs to be endearing. Manuela cuts out the cougar routine when she spies on Sylvain being an asshole. Catherine thought young Dimitri was a maiden based on his haircut (as seen in the CG of him dancing with Edelgard - this guy is forever doomed to multiple varieties of bad hair) and repeats Felix’s taunt that Dimitri used to get so excited while training that he’d break swords in half but he’s better with lances even though they have less durability? I forget with whom, but Dimitri shuts down the impossible dream of fellow lance lord Ephraim by acknowledging that his traveling the world as a warrior would be irresponsible. The gender of Shamir’s first love might depend on Byleth’s - will have to see how the f!Byleth support words it. 

As for the story, this is the moment where Dimitri makes his turn back toward sanity and a sense of personal responsibility. Just as I predicted, his decision to allow that unnamed orphan girl to join the army turns out to have been a bad one. After Rodrigue takes a blade for his prince and Byleth shows himself again adept at swift executions, Dimitri is moved by the death of yet another of his loved ones to go walking in the rain and respond favorably to vaguely inspirational dialogue choices. While I understand what the writers were going for, I have two issues with this sequence of events. The first is minor, in that the CGs used for them - of Fleche preparing to stab Dimitri and Rodrigue stepping between them, of the dying Rodrigue cradling Dimitri’s face, and of Dimitri in the rain - don’t do a very good job of matching the intended mood. The first two use sunset lighting and thus appear much too soft, while Dimitri in the rain with his hair plastered to his head alone against a black background looks unsettling and almost creepy for what’s meant to be his big moment of redemption. That’s a small quibble with artistic choice, however.

On the other hand, my other issue will take a whole post to explain. I’ll be saving that for a larger Dimitri/Dedue project after I’ve completed playthroughs of all the routes routes, but my basic argument is this: Dedue being removed and then optionally re-inserted into the Blue Lions storyline was necessary for Dimitri’s emotional arc to make sense, and to allow Byleth a much larger role in said arc than they otherwise would have had. Yes, I have major shipping goggles on here, but try to imagine a scenario where Dedue saves Dimitri from prison and they go on the run together for five years, before reuniting with everyone at the monastery.

To no one’s surprise, Dedue takes up watching after the prince in the monastery the chapter after he returns. In Chapter 18 he comments that he’s the only that Dimitri hasn’t really changed despite appearing more sane, that he’s still too kind and sensitive to the suffering of war and that Dedue admires him for that. They’re just laying the subtext on thick now.

Related to my problem with the Alliance AI in the threeway battle, it’s never explained why Claude joins the battle at Gronder Field (apart from getting him into that cutscene they all share, anwyay). Prior to that battle House Reigan opposed the Empire and even engaged House Gloucester’s pro-Imperial faction to distract them from Chapter 16′s bridge.  As the next chapter’s title references the Deer however I imagine I’ll get an explanation sooner rather than later.

Cornelia’s cleavage may be impossible, but as far as under-dressed female villains in this series go she wasn’t terrible. She doesn’t flirt with anyone and apparently got her lofty position in the Kingdom through her talents at magic and infrastructure reform (which may have included the turrets and giant robots in Fhirdiad? Was that the implication?). Her dying revelation about Dimitri’s stepmother would have landed better had we ever seen anything of her, but I suppose as Edelgard’s birth mother she’ll be brought up again in some capacity on her route.

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e2 Liveblog

The Human Monster

So I posted my (vague) predictions for this episode yesterday, lets see how wrong I was! As last time, I’m watching this from the perspective of someone who’s read the manga and webcomic. Long post ahead, but let’s get to it!

Alright, looks like we’re picking up right where we left off. This marks the first legitimate Garou episode, doesn’t it? I’m so excited to see the trash son in action.

Garou’s! VOICE! I know we’re already heard it briefly but AHH! I didn’t look into the voice actor ahead of time so I didn’t have much more of an idea as to what he’d sound like but I was expecting it to be...deeper? And honestly I like this way better than what I thought it would be please keep talking my boy you cocky bastard please please

Woah ok I had to pause again to point out how much I appreciate this music. Is this gonna be the recurring Garou theme? I hope so, it’s way darker sounding than any other music in the show that I can recall and I am LIVING

Oh FUCK Heavy Tank’s arm is some body horror right there why is the skin so lumpy???? “Baaaka~” Garou is not one of my top favorite characters but at this rate I think the anime might get him there pretty quickly. And I see JC staff is cutting no corners when it comes to animating his physique I’m sure LOTS of people are gonna be happy for that

Oh my fuck Aaaand more body horror, the sound effects make it worse. I knew this was coming but I forgot. Somehow.

Um excuse me but JC STAFF WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT ARE THESE COLORS. WHY. ITS NOT EVEN LIKE YOU’RE CENSORING IT. YOU’VE ALREADY SHOWED THE WHOLE SEVERED HAND AND THE BLOOD WHAT IS THIS EYESORE. Like, the sudden randomly fast animation of Blue Fire’s hands caught me off guard completely and had me laughing even though I don’t think that was supposed to be funny? I though that was a kinda jarring animation choice but what the hell is this?

Ah yes thank you opening theme please cleanse my eyes of what just happened.

Yeah I’m never gonna get over seeing Zombieman’s pissy face at least TWICE every episode thank the heavens for that really. Also Phoenixman. I just think he’s neat ok

Also, I just realized they gave Choze silver hair when I totally imagined it blond. I guess they figured the Nazi imagery would be TOO MUCH given the character already?

OH MY GOSH ARE THEY GONNA DO A DIFFERENT S CLASS EVERY TIME?? LOOK AT THIS BABY. DOES THAT MEAN Z WILL GET ONE TOO IT WAS TATSUMAKI LAST WEEK FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

As expected, on to the Fubuki confrontation. But first I’d like to take a moment to appreciate Geno’s apron. Oh sonic SONIC! we ARE getting the TOASTER VS NINJA THIS EPISODE YES! YES! WAIT a 20 minutes later cut?? I swear they better not skip the action….

“Yo, I’m Saitama” Fucking hell the inflection of his voice when he says that is perfect. Anyway- the boarding in this sequence is messing with me. Is it just me or is every really monotone? Something just feels kinda off. There’s so many panning shots? Keep the screen still its making me a bit motion sick. This isn’t an action sequence there doesn’t need to be movement 100% of the time, it doesn’t fit well here. I’m gonna need to rewatch this beginning to end without pausing for the blog to judge it better [EDIT: after watching it in one go, its still noticable, but not AS BAD. Slightly more forgivable imo]

Fuck the fucking obligatory boob jiggle god damnit

“Are you gonna fight me with rocks n stuff? Better not” Was that a Geryuganshoop callback??

ok I put my finger on it. This whole sequence has been riddled with unnecessary panning of the camera. (90% of which is focused on Fubuki for whatever reason). This shot for example would have been fine with just gusts and rocks flying everywhere. but instead they panned up in this shot in a crooked gliding motion. why?? It keeps happening?

Why is it zooming in and turning sideways it’s getting distracting when the subject matter within the frame is relatively stagnant. Also, it got much better quickly with more action, but the Saitama speech on newbie-crushing felt kind of underwhelming. Maybe it’s just because I was already so distracted but it felt much more impactful and forceful reading it than listening to/seeing it just now.

WAIT

YES! YES!

Please let this fight be on a better note! aww, no smug Genos face. Let the boy smile for once in the anime pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? And side note- I can’t wait for every single Shot of genos to be turned into a compilation of gifs, cause thats how the fandom do these days

This whole fight just had me shouting YES at the screen THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT it got so much better! So much better!! A huge sigh of relief from me over here. There are so many good shot of Genos here oh my god thank the heavens yes. Oh that muffled voice effect with the clones is cool too, oh man. JC Staff loves sonic I’m convinced. Yeah, some bits are over the top with the flashing but I kinda don’t care

YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SAITAMA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’m so glad they nail this art style! Also I’d like to say that the anime delivered the serious series: Serious consecutive side hops 100% that is some GOOD SHIT.

OH MY FUCK did they seriously just rip the face directly out of the manga panel???? I Mean it’s perfection so i can’t blame them???? Oh Shit that’s fuckin gold and the now-vocalized ‘DOAUGHU’ is perfect.

Y’know, I knew they had to animate the tatsumaki spoon panel that shit was just too cool looking to not include. AH! Atomic Samurai’s Disciples! Oh my god I can’t wait to see them actually! Look at Kama my QUEEN

And ya know, I was completely willing to forgo the lil Aamai mask cut away but here it is. I’m gonna spare yall his stupid face. If you like Amai mask I’m sorry, you’re stronger than me.

Hah, “there’s also King, the world’s strongest man.” I just paused it before he walks in the door. Little do you know, gurl, little do you know. Oh, I appreciate the little ‘Hmph’ Fubuki does, too. Reminds me that she and Tatsu really are sisters. Ah, aaaaand there King is. AAAaaaaaaand its over just like that. Lets get through the end credits before I summarize my thoughts i guess!

well FUCK I WAS SPOT ON WASNT I?? The episode ended with Saitama and Genos getting their Hero Names and Garou walking away from Tanktop Vegetarian. Not gonna lie I’m proud I called it to a T.

All in all, I didn’t love it as much as the first episode, but I loved it nonetheless. Aside from the one color disaster and the Fubuki confrontation scene (which admittedly, is a big deal) I was REALLY digging it all the way through. It seems to me they struggled with making an emotionally impactful scene with only minor elements of action. The King scene last week was great, no nauseating camera movement or anything- just exactly what it needed to be. The full on action sequences were also fine this and last week. I don’t know if it was the combination of dialogue and static characters mixed in with Fubuki using her telekinesis that threw them for a loop but it definitely felt like they had issues with that scene. Not as bad as I initially felt, like I’m not mad at it per se, but they’re still there. Otherwise no pacing issues or anything- actually they covered exactly as much ground as I guessed they would and it felt great! I have today come to the conclusion that JC Staff loves Sonic and also has a weird thing about panning shots of Fubuki. Good episode still had me shouting YES repeatedly at the screen.

Seeya next week!