#the new cover is nice art and has all the right symbols but idk it's not dark enough for me? the musrooms look too nice

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread        

The Dawnhounds

adult sff

alchemical biopunk dystopian fantasy world

a thief-turned-cop is demoted, and then murdered

...then she wakes up, resurrected by ancient gods, joins a queer pirate crew, and tries to save her city from corruption

fungi and cool biotech stuff

[i-did]

HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why. 

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first. 

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it. 

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting. 

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family. 

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that). 

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then. 

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before. 

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

[thescorpioracer]

Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything. 

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit. 

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick​​‘s commentary back when she first started the show. 

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss* 

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes  him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises. 

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant. 

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute) 

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme.  Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda  meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay? 

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend? 

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary. 

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today. 

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic. 

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies. 

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin’s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land. 

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees. 

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices. 

See you next time? 

[analyzingadventure]

I’M 5 EPISODES BEHIND ON PSI, I CAN ONLY WATCH 4 BECAUSE THE NEWEST ONE ISN’T AVAILABLE YET AND IT’S KILLING ME BECAUSE I SAW AN OUT-OF-CONTEXT MEME ABOUT IT AND IT HAD SOME IMPLICATIONS ABOUT IT

ANYWAYS, LET’S CATCH UP ON PSI, EPISODES 20-23, LET’S GO

Okay let’s save that widdle baby from that test tube

HOLY SHIT PSI’S VELGRMON IS HUGE

THAT IS A BIG FUCKING BIRB

That is a weird way for Devimon to ask Velgrmon to fetch Takeru considdering he was technically already captured by Devimon but okay I guess

MEGADRAMON!!! YEAH

Leomon please don’t die

Ah, they are acknowledging that the kids were missing for three days during a horrifying black-out, I was worried they wouldn’t like, acknowledge that at all

Koushirou’s hesistant to talk about his parents... Oh baby... ;_;

TENTOMON!! How’re you messaging to the kids?? IS GENNAI THERE TO HELP?? Or are you just in the Network messing with stuff?? Probably?

Oh, great, Algomon still isn’t fucking dead. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE NEED TO KILL THIS FUCKER

Is that squid thing Calmaramon? It looks like Calmaramon??

oH MY GOD it took me a moment to realize what was happening but WEREGARURUMON HITCHING A RIDE ON THE GIGA DESTROYER MISSILE WAS HILARIOUS OMG HE’S USING IT LIKE A SKATEBOARD LMFAO

YEAH YAMATO, SAVE YOUR BABY BRO!!!

TAKERUUU!! SASUKEEEE wait

ANGEMON!!!! BABY!!! WHERE ARE YOU ANGEMON?!?!

Megumin Han.... I’m so happy to hear your voice ;___;

A beautiful reunion

Takeru seems to be taking... [/points at the DW and the Digimon] everything really well

Jesus Velgrmon is stronk

NOOO THEY JUST SAVED TAKERU, FUCK

ANGEMON WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!

OHHHHH TAKERU IS ANGERY no talk to him he angy

YEAH ANGEMON, FLY LIKE THE FUCKING WIND

God I love WereGarurumon’s nail polish, it looks fantastic yo

ANGEMON!!!!! Feather symbolism yeee

Is Angemon gonna spend all his powers to kill Velgrmon and die instantly? That’d be hilarious

Awe, no Giga Destroyer? Just Giga Storm? D’aww

HE IS GONNA DIE, ISN’T HE

ENJOY YOUR TRAUMA TAKERU LMFAO

oh mY GOD SKULL KNIGHTMON CAME IN AND STOLE IT TOO, YOU FUCKER LMAO

EPISODE 21, LET’S GO

Yamato I’m sure you could explain a few things to Takeru while you’re just chasing Skull Knightmon

Ah Devimon, your arms are as long as always, how wonderful

Ah, more Xros Wars rep! Splashmon! :D

TAKERU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

YOU JUST GOT HERE LITTLE CHILD, DON’T JUST JUMP INTO THE HOLE HEAD FIRST, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING

Oh wow Devimon had prepared an Evil Incubator for Angemon’s Digiegg, how fast and nice

Poor baby is gonna get super corrupted, eh?

IT’S SO NICE... TO SEE THESE FAMILY MEMBERS OF THE KIDS, LOOKING SAME AS ALWAYS AND STUFF

Oh wow did Koushirou just hack the Digivices, WOW

IT IS CALAMARAMON! I KNEW IT, FUCK, I am so enjoying the Frontier/Xros Wars rep rn, thanks Toei, I wub you

Is that another nuke? Are they launching another nuke? No? Just a massive crash at a dock?

I was just gonna complain about Psi having a serious case of Takuya & Kouji Show-syndrome but if Sora and co get to deal with the threat in the Network while Taichi and Yamato are rescuing Angemon’s egg, I’ll be okay with it

Takeru, your Powers of Adorable will not save the world, I’m sorry, you’re just gonna get yourself killed and/or kill Yamato a third heart attack, PLEASE GO BACK

Holy shit METALGREYON NOOOOOOO DON’T HURT HIM LIKE NOOOOOOOO MY BABY ;A;

THAT IS A BIG EYE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

A Digimon that was sealed away by Devimon or something? IDK it’s kinda scawy

METALGREYMON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TAICHI PLEASE SAVE HIM ;_; YAMATO GO HELP HIM YOU WIMP

OWO WHAT'S THIS

A NEW METALGREYMON VARIANT? (Or a different Mode?)

Tbh the new cannon kida clashes with MetalGrey’s oldschool design a lil BUT IT’S FINE, IT’S COOL

Agumon deserves a nap

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

ELDORADIMON???? IS IT OH IT TOTALLY IS, RIGHT? YEAH

I love the textures on his face, the pencil strokes look really cool

EPISODE 22 WOOO

I think I’ve complained about this before but it has kinda bothered me before how the Digimon don’t have to rest or eat before entering into battle again, and like, while it’s been mostly fine up until now... Like ever since the kids entered the Fake Tokyo they have pretty much been fighting non-stop without resting or eating and like, it’s starting to get to me, their stamina to keep on fighting is a bit much and it’s just gonna keep on going until Devimon’s dead, isn’t it

How are you climbing this wall that’s this god damn steep, you are a little child HOW DO YOU HAVE THE MUSCLES FOR THIS, I’M A GROWN ASS ADULT I DON’T HAVE THE MUSCLES FOR IT

Gabumon is a sweetheart and I would die for him

Koushirou, why didn’t you have your partners evolve faster, jesus christ (like I’ll give Gomamon and Palmon a break but the other two? Jesus)

Oh that DigiEgg is getting so super corrupted, isn’t it? Oh yeah, Devimon is trying to turn Angemon into a fallen angel like him, amazing

I wish Skull Knightmon had like a personality... In fact I wish all of the enemies had personalities beyond Devimon being ominous and Orgemon dumb with lots of honor

Jyou is gonna get in such great shape from running up those stairs- he ain’t skipping Leg Day, not today

Skull Knightmon is so cool I wish he had more of a personality ;_; I wanna root for him but beyond doing cool shit he has nothing going for him

Ah, the upgrade to MetalGrey wasn’t permanent, just a temporary buff from the power of Courage

DARK KNIGHTMON! YEAAAH

I hope Eldoradimon is okay with all this chaos happening inside him; like I hope he doesn’t get an upset stomach from this

THE BABY TOLD YOU TO MOVE, SO MOVE, KNIGHTMON!

Poor Calamaramon died without ever getting a personality ;_;

How the fuck is this infact making these gigantic leaps over great distances

God Takeru you are so cute, you widdle baby you

Oh man the hightech wings really don’t fit with the punk look of WereGarurumon at all

Welp the DigiEgg got dipped in the miasma like an egg in soy sauce, Press F for Patamon, say “hi” to Tsukaimon

Oooo the egg is exploding! :D

Oh, the egg... I mean it didn’t explode but it destroy the fortress

POYOMON! :D

Devimon, are ya gonna finally show up in person

YEAHHHHHHH DEVIMON!!!! YOU LOOK SO PRETTY I MISSED YOU YOU EDGY GOTH BASTARD

OOOO DEVIMON AND ANGEMON GO BACK? THEY HAVE A HISTORY? Well this is a ship I’m into, let’s go

EPISODE 23!

DEVIMON AND ANGEMON USED TO BE FRIIIIIENDS ohhhhhhhhh I wanna know more about their history THIS IS A JUICY SHIP RIGHT HERE

Ohhh he is so OP, I love that, thanks

How’d MetalGrey and WereGaruru get the message to use the rubble as cover? Not that it worked really

Devimon can use finger beams, lovely

Sora and co should really evolve to Perfect, like they should’ve evolved earlier to begin with

OH SHIT, WE GOT EVOLUTION ALREADY! I mean it’s only Tokomon, which ain’t that useful rn, but okay

Oh Devimon just gave Tokomon this angry-ex look oh my god

I wonder if Devimon’s plan was to like, bypass the need to use humans directly to evolve, instead using the data from humans to forcibly bring forth evolution

NeoDevimon isn’t as cool and sexy as vanilla Devimon, F

Honestly I’m kinda sad he evolve to begin with because Devimon was already super OP, like he didn’t evolve because he was losing, he evolve because his ex made him angry (although I mean I guess that is funny)

Oh WereGarurumon can just do the wing thing at will? Seems OP but okay

Ah, but I know Devimon isn’t dead yet... Saw the new Digimon Bandai shared on Twitter, the new Devimon form that is VERY SEXY (IDK if this needs to be stated but I do say “sexy” here ironically)

OH, Dark Knightmon, you’re still alive? You gonna take lead from now on?

Ohohohohohoh let’s go, gimme that new Devimon

OH MAN, IT WASN’T THIS EPISODE? HE’S SHOWING UP IN THE NEXT EPISODE? Boo, now I gotta wait :(

So I saw some memes on Twitter (along with the art of the new Digi), them including Taichi dying, dark evolution, a clip from the Adventure dub finale where Agumon’s like “next time I’ll evolve into one of the Dark Masters” so like

NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA FUN, also I’m kinda unsure if I wanna watch the preview or not... Like I already know so much out-of-context so I’m afraid if the preview is gonna tell me even more to a point it gets too much, or if it should be fine...

No, I have no chill, Psi has been teasing Mugendramon to me this whole god damn time, I NEED TO KNOW IF WE GET MUGENDRAMON LIKE THE MEMES PROPHESIZED, I NEED TO KNOW

PREVIEW!

LMAO IT REALLY DOES JUST START WITH “TAICHI DIES” JKSDFHKJSDFGJSFDGHJ

OH MAN WE ARE GONNA GET MUGENDRAMON AREN’T WE

I’M SO EXCITED

ALSO DOWNDEVIMON OHOHOHHOHOHO

NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA BE GOOOD I can’t wait

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hello! I was going through your supportive Regis to Iggy stuff and I’M MELTING!! I love it so much! Do you have anymore Regis-Ignis stuff or even other characters who support gladnis? I really wanna know!

*SMACKS WITH LOVE*

HELLO MUFFIN U THOUGHT I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU? HAH. U ABSOLUTE FOOL. I AM HERE TO SERRRRRRRRRVE 

I’m very excited to answer this because even though I still have 60+ asks (WAY over a year old now, god damn it), it made me so happy to get a new one with such old vibe? Idk how to explain it, it just felt like the first times I’d get asks anD IT MADE ME SO HAPPY OMG THANK YOU ;w;

But not gonna make the intro too long, you here for the nice stuff, so here we go!

The supportive Regis to Iggy stuff is old, some of my first, AND I FREAKING LOVE IT. Here you have supportive Regis being a good papa, and supportive Regis multiple headcanons if you missed it/don’t remember! :3

NOW LET’S SEE WHAT WE CAN GET FROM THIS

AU where Regis is Ignis’ supportive dad figure:

Quick summary following the previous posts’ canon: Iggy’s parents love him but aren’t very good parents. He’s just Noct’s adviser and a kingdom’s servant for them, and don’t care about Iggy’s relationships, not even his romantic one, so they never make any space to talk about it or interact or even care. Not kingdom issues? Then I don’t have time, sweetie, focus on your job and don’t make me waste my time.

So Regis has taken up on the role of Papa Regis for Ignis because a parent isn’t just feeding your child, WHERE IS THE GODDAMN SUPPORT, HE JUST WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE TIME HE ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED HALF HIS ICE-CREAM ON SATURDAY’S DATE NIGHT, CAN YOU JUST. FUCKING LOVE HIM GODDAMMIT HOW HARD IS IT 

Regis always gets some time to listen to Iggy about Gladio. Even if it’s a few shared whispers while crossing the door to Council meeting, he’ll always ask. Ignis has gotten a grip of that, and they’ve managed to get away with it, be it a long conversation, or two sentences, all so long Iggy gets to express a bit of what he feels :’)

You know what Regis does most? He disguises lots of forms of support in formalities so that Ignis can get away with his things.

Like the one post shared above where Regis made up the lame excuse of “oh, uh, you: drive the Regalia to the Amicitia house and then you’re free lmao” (it’s sO CUTE OMG HOW DARE PAST-ME WRITE SOMETHING SO CUTE). 

Ignis’ parents and council in general are always overwhelming and overloading Ignis of so much work, it’s sometimes a real struggle to find the time to dedicate to his relationship. Gladio understands, but it’s still not fair for Iggy.

So Regis is going to do the Thing: POWER ABUSE. FOR THE BABY.

Not rly power abuse lmao but he’s the king, he has the ultimate word and orders, right? So if he wants Ignis to have some time to himself, HE’S GOING TO FUCKING HAVE IT. But, so that his parents don’t notice or don’t have an excuse to complain, Regis will disguise some Ignis Free Time as orders.

Ignis wants to write a love letter for Gladio, but is stashed to the very last pore of politics paperwork.

“Excuse me, lord, ladies, can you be so kind as to get this paperwork done? I require of this young lad’s presence to be my personal scribe for a very, very important speech. *Closes door* Yes, right, where do we start? The…importance of…the crown, symbol of the city, emblem of…you write your thing, Ignis, I’ll just babble things, ok? the light and…stuff and things and I’ll just start reciting the whole of Kupo Wars intro speech and no one will notice if I speak regal and kingly like this are you good? you need anything you tell me, alright? LONG AGO IN A FAR AWAY GALAXY-”

It’s a special date and Ignis wants to bake something for Gladio because GladiO LOVES EATING SO MUCH, YOUR MAJESTY, HE’S SO HAPPY WHEN HE EATS AND I WANT TO MAKE HIM HAPPY

“Yes, hello, it seems like Ignis won’t be able to attend this interview because I want to impress the Tenebrae diplomats and I need the best chef of Eos aiding me, come here on royal duty, Ignis.”

((after Ignis finished baking the cake and people expected Regis to try it he just went “AAAH, GOODNESS, I FORGOT I’M ALLERGIC TO CAKE, WHAT A DUMBASS I AM, WELP, WE DON’T WANT IT TO GO TO WASTE SO WHY DON’T YOU TAKE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE YOU KNOW WILL LOVE IT, IGNIS? ( ´ ▽ ` )))

((regis how is anyone allergic to cake as a whole lmao))

Ignis is just sad because he wants to spend a bit of time with Gladio.

“HELLO IGNIS, GUESS WHICH ABSOLUTELY IDIOTIC KING RIPPED HIS CLOTHES, WHAT A MYSTERY, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN, I THINK YOU’LL HAVE TO GO BUY ME A NEW SUIT BUT DON’T YOU DARE GO ALONE, YOU’RE A FAMOUS FACE OF THE ROYAL WORLD, YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED A GUARD, AM I RITE, WHO IS AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW-”

“well, Cor is-”

“GLADIOLUS, DEAR, WHAT A COINCIDENCE, I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, BOY.”

Soft and gentle and loving as he is, Regis can also be shady af with people that deserve it.

Scientia father is talking about some stupid thing and he mentions his son.

Regis is giving him the most deeply confused frown of the world, and ultra genuinely asks “You have a son???????”

He does this. EVERY. TIME. Scientia parents talk about Ignis LMAO, EVERY FUCKING TIME

(just wants to make it clear he doesn’t see them as parents to Ignis but that’s just his opinion, right, what does it matter, fuck him)

Regis isn’t only a supportive dad for Iggy when it comes to Gladnis. He’s also a supportive papa in general.

Kiddo Ignis can’t. STOP STARING. At the aerial rope acts and acrobatics on TV. THEY ARE JUST. SO FUCKING ARTISTIC. SO ELEGANT. SO BEAUTIFUL. KIDDO IGNIS LOVES THE ACROBATS HELOVESTHEMSOMU- ok Iggy TV time is over, you have to go make your ridiculously advanced homework that sucks the childhood out of you ok baby boy?

40 year old Regis Papa Sense tingles. 

40 y.o. Regis is taking Ignis from his parents at a hallway while they were leading him to his first Crownsguard training lesson “Yes, I take it from here, I want to give him a little encouraging speech, you know how this can be a little disheartening from how hard it is? Haha yeah, children these days am I rite”

Ignis walks into the training hall expecting Cor or Clarus or some Crownsguard with a pole ready to fucking SMACK HIM.

Ignis walks into the training hall being received by Insomnia’s fifth best circus arts coreographer. 

“Hello, you must be Ignis. The king said you’re very excited about aerial ropes and acrobatics? That’s so cool. Are you excited to be learning it yourself, now?”

Little twelve years old Ignis is GASP .A. *looks up at Regis like ¿¿¿¡¡¡¡???!!!*

“It’s OBVIOUSLY just to have an expert acrobat fighter, the only one of your kind, flexible, agile fighter that can jump, am I rite, enemies won’t expect that. So this is NOT arts class, it’s…OBVIOUSLY your Crownsguard training as we told your parents. OBVIOUSLY. Right, boy? Now, we don’t want to spoil the surprise. No telling mom and dad, ok? You tell them it’s Cor teaching you to punch things. Have fun. I mean. TRAIN HARD, HUFFFFFFFF”

IGNIS WAS HYSTERICALLY HAPPY YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE SO MUCH JOY FITS IN THAT CHILD

Nineteen year old Ignis figured out his first real strategy at war table and it was an utter success.

Papa be like, not even looking away of his papers, “It’s your responsibility.”

REAL PAPA Regis rushed to hug him, grinning, and goes “Wow, Ignis, that’s fantastic!! Congratulations!! You worked very hard on it, and you helped save so many lives. Imagine all the families that will reunite thanks to you. You, fantastic boy, you’re so young and so skilled already, I’m so proud of you.”

Ignis had a literal nervous breadown out of stress overload.

Mama be like “take these pills, rest five minutes, now go back to your office, you can’t stay behind, you have all these paperworks DUE TOMORROW, YOU CAN’T JUST CALL IN SICK??? LIKE IT’S AN EXCUSE¿¿¿”

Ignis arrived to his office to find two sofas placed there together like a bed, comfy, cozy, with a blankie and cushions, and a therapist waiting at the desk.

“Hello. You must be Ignis. The king scheduled an appointment for you today. He also said you don’t need to worry about the paperwork, and said, I quote *reads paper* “…fuck paperwork”. Oh my. Anyway, come here, please lie down and let’s see what we can do for you, ok, sweetie?”

Seventeen year old Ignis is NERVOUS about his first date with Gladio. Like. HIS CRUSH. ASKED HIM OUT?? HIS CRUSH. NOT ANYONE, HIS ACTUAL CRUSH SINCE HE WAS TEN??????? THE GUY HE HAD BEEN PINING OVER FOR YEARS. THE GUY THAT HE FELT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE. HE. ASKED. HIM. OUT. WTF, HOW CAN IGNIS NOT BE NERVOUS, HE’S BEEN CRUSHING ON HIM SINCE EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW WHAT A CRUSH WAS

Papa be like “But?? I thought you were staying in today for training????? What about the prince’s interviews you have to cover for the day after tomorrow?? The paperwork for monday?? Your HOMEWORK¿¿ Ignis, you’re way better than this, leave the teenage drama alone. Free time? That you’re a teen and just want to go out and I just think about work??? Yes, no, I understand that, of COURSE I do, I just…nervous? IT’S JUST A DATE IGNIS OHMYGOD, don’t be so immature, just wear anything, go to your date, and be back as soon as possible, I won’t tolerate you being out after eight.”

Papa Regis is stopping a deep breathing absent-looking Ignis in the middle of the hallway to ask if he’s fine. It took like fifteen minutes of an embarrassed Ignis melting and becoming a puddle of shyness making excuses before he spilled the truth, blushing in embarrassment, whispering, feeling absolutely fucking stupid and like a dork.

“…I just…don’t know…what to wear…”

Regis be (・_・ )

An hour later locked away in Ignis’ office after having had an ACTUAL KINGSGLAIVE FUCKING SNEAK INTO IGNIS’ HOUSE AND BRING ALL HIS CLOTHES IN A HURRY (under royal command lmao), Regis is adjusting Ignis’ hair and glasses over and over, stepping back, staring with a >:| look, then going back in, re-arrange, step back, stare like >:|, step in to re-arrange, and so over and over, all while both discuss over it like it’s a death or life issue.

Regis becomes expert fashion critique

“HOW. Are you going to put those shoes on with THAT shirt.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT, I JUST. I’M SO NERVOUS.”

But being serious, Regis made sure to spend so very long in there with Ignis not because he didn’t know what to have him wear; that was the excuse to spend a while with Ignis to help him calm down. Boy was absolutely GONE, he needed to put his feet back on earth before his date or he was going to combust lmao

AND IT WORKED

Ignis’ shift is over and he goes “I wasted my last hour doing NOTHING ;A;”

“HOW DARE YOU SAY IT’S NOTHING WHEN WE USED IT SO WELL TO GET YOU READY”

Ignis is more honored by having had the king help him pick his clothes than working so it doesn’t feel as bad. Plus, Regis knows his way through the mess of his head to make him not feel guilty

Before going out of the office, Regis is taking his time to smile a lot and stare at Ignis, before he drops the whole king attitude or fashion expert and goes with this tender, warm, and genuinely happy voice “So he finally asked you out.”

Ignis absolutely changes then. He just…glOWS HAPPY AND LOVING. And of course he starts sharing the whole thing with Regis, from asking out to how long he had been liking him to how he feels about it and stuff. Regis listens patiently, and then he gets up from his place and goes to grab Ignis’ face and helps a bit with his hair, and he can’t help but stare and stare with these…these IMMENSELY WARM EYES AND THIS HUGE SWEET, TENDER SMILE

“I’m so happy for you two. You two have always looked good together, and I think you’re meant to be. You’ll be fine, son.”

Ignis may have teared up a little and looked down. He feels…sO ENCOURAGED, SO SUPPORTED, HE FEELS LIKE SOMEONE CARES, IT’S SO NICE AKLSDJFDG

of fucking COURSE it was the best first date EVER

Ignis sometimes wants to get Gladio presents, but he doesn’t know where to put them (as in, if he gets Gladio a gift, it may be a few days earlier, so where does he store it during those few days?). No way to put them in his room because his parents check his room (never looking for anything in particular but it’s to ‘’keep him in check’’ or some bullshit), and they have key to his office too. 

Regis motherfucking Lucis Caelum is going to store that unicorn plushie in armiger and you better not question him.

You know how Regis and Noctis have royal portraits taken each certain years?

Yes, there is an official royal photograph or Regis with a twenty year old Ignis because what the fuck do you mean it’s just for the Lucis Caelum last name he’s my son regardless of last names fuck you give me that stupid camera

Of course it didn’t count to the ‘official’ archives of the heir and monarch portraits but goddammit is Regis going to make sure it’s hung somewhere in the fucking Citadel.

You thought Regis was just taking the role at times? HELL NO, HE’S GOING FULL PAPA BEAR MODE, HE LOVES IGGY AS MUCH AS HE LOVES NOCT, OF COURSE HE’S GOING THIS FAR

He keeps making that little adorable slip of thinking of Noct and Iggy as literal brothers because he’s just so into supporting Ignis he keeps forgetting he’s not his son neither legally or genetically.

“You can’t just get rid of your brother-in-law, that’s ridiculous.”

“…who?”

“Gladi- ooh, yes, lmao, I forgot. I meant Gladio”

“DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT TO YOUR BROTHER.”

“But I don’t have a brother.”

“right”

“You should follow Ignis’ example, that’s what big brothers are for.”

“Dad you’re doing it again.”

“Hello, Ignis? I wanted to talk to your brother. Ah, fuck, I meant, Noctis.”

Regis gets really moody every time Scientia parents are around. He knows they’re not necessarily evil, but that doesn’t mean they’re not abusive. He’s been reflecting long about it and he sees them as abusive even if incidentally so of course he gets moody. HOW DARE THEY MISTREAT MY CHILD LIKE THAT.

Regis had Clarus review a literal petition to change Insomnia’s adult age from 21 to 19 so Ignis could move the fuck out of his house sooner.

council said no those pieces of shIT

Regis insisted

“Your Majesty, we can’t just change that law so easily and fast, and think of-”

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CHILDREN WANT TO GET OUT OF THEIR GODDAMN HOUSE TO ESCAPE AN ABUSIVE ENVIRONMENT BUT FUCKING CAN’T BECAUSE THEY’RE “TOO YOUNG”

Regis mopped about it for a month

When Noct moved to his flat near school, Regis did it so he could grow a bit of independency…and to give Ignis the spare key.

“My son may need some watch every now and then. Leave the house duties to him, that’s fine, son, just…uh…keep an eye on him some nights. Any night you want. I happened to find only a flat with two separate rooms haha what a coINCIDENCE AIN’T IT so it’s fine if you want to spend the night with Noct :)”

He was basically gifting Ignis his own shared apartment WHAT THE HECK YOUR MAJESTY YOU’RE GIVING ME A WHOLE ASS APARTMENT?????? OMG NO STOP

((Ignis used that apartment very frequently the poor bby ;A;))

When Noct graduates and goes back to living at the Citadel, Ignis at first is sort of upset of having to go back to his house every day. He normally can’t get to spend the nights at Gladio’s or anyone else’s because his parents thing it’s inappropriate. But Ignis just looks…so upset. He doesn’t say anything, and he keeps talking about being happy of Noct’s growth and independency and graduation and his grades and him getting to be back with his dad and stuff, but when he’s alone he looks so upset. He looks like he’s sleeping less, and worse than before; he looks like…like carrying a heavier weight, that kept growing and growing. He looked less healthy, less happy, less bright.

And as soon as he notices, there we have him, king motherfucking Regis signing the official return of the prince’s gentlemen job, and signing Ignis in the goddamn title without even asking him first. 

Regis’ excuse is that Ignis is his first assistant, personal adviser, closest companion, so it only makes sense to have Ignis attend him personally at any time the prince so needs it, SO YOU BETTER NOT HAVE ANY EXCUSES YOU PIECES OF SHIT TO LET YOUR SON LIVE IN THE ROOM NEXT TO NOCT’S, OKAY, FUCK YOU.

It was a smart move because Scientia parents were delighted with the promotion and progress, yes yes, we told you working this hard would get you really far, son, of course it was due to the pressure we put on you that you get to be the prince’s personal assistant to a new level.

Regis really just wanted Ignis to get out of that goddamn place for most nights.

And not like Noctis asks for anything. Wakes up WAY later than Ignis, cleans his own room as best as he can (he’s trying, ok? LEAVE HIM ALONE), and it’s not like it’s the 1st century to be asking Ignis to dress him or anything, ew, get away of my room, you dork, this is my stuff!!

IGNIS HAS NEVER SLEPT SO GODDAMN WEL IN HIS GODDAMN LIFE, and it’s not like his parents don’t let him sleep or anything, it’s just…the air. It’s different. The environment is WAY comfier and more cozy, HE LOVES SLEEPING THERE.

Regis is also there when Iggy is having bad times.

As much as he’s eventually learned that his parents just Don’t Care, it’s not like it’s an easy thing to digest, you know? Because they’re this horrible mix between genuinely loving and still abusive and toxic. They want the best for him, but they’ve broken him to the point of literal physical breakdowns. They love him, but don’t know his favorite meal or color. They want him to go far but forget he’s a human, and just see his grades and work, and don’t know how he has fun and have never once listened to him about his YEARS LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN HE GENUINELY LOVES AND WHO HE HAS LIVED WITH THE MOST ADVENTURES. Ignis is often very troubled about his parents, because as much distance as he’s put in between and as much as he doesn’t acknowledge them as his parents because of all the bad they’ve done to him and how absent they’ve been, he just can’t help but…still be hurt about it, you know? 

So even though he has Regis’ full awesome support, and Clarus’, and other parental figures, it’s just not the people he grew up with all his life calling “parents”. They may be abusive and absent but goddammit, the child in him used to think they were his parents, and good ones. It’s not like he can just not care.

So it’s not rare that Ignis gets emotional over it, or has cried a few times, especially when he has something significative going on in his life and his parents just aren’t there, even when he reaches out to them and they’re just “too busy”.

SO ONE DAY

Nothing particular had happened. It was the constant storing of that kinda events, thoughts and feelings that kept building up until they were too many and made Ignis sort of break. 

His parents just wouldn’t speak about his relationship with Gladio. The most they have gotten to was telling him to not be explicit about it to save scandals about someone as important as an Amicitia, to always be perfectly sharp and as best looking as he could because an Amicitia just couldn’t be seen with someone less than Perfect, and would often tell him to not get hopes too high because Gladiolus looked like a man to constantly switch partners so you better be careful. But they never cared about knowing him, having him for dinner, talking about their dates, not even how or WHEN it started, they didn’t even know how long it had been going on, or the places they’ve been or the things they’d done together, NOTHING.

Ignis is so very often at the Amicitias’; has dinner, sleeps over when he can, has gone out with Iris alone SO MANY times, has been with Clarus alone SO MANY TIMES, has LITERALLY GONE ON VACATIONS WITH THEM, and his parents can’t even shake Gladio’s hand even when they all work in the same goddamn place? Were they for real?

Ignis once tried talking with them about the possibility of marriage. He had been with Gladio for a good couple years, and he was sure about it, and had even spoken a bit with Gladio about it, and it seemed like a bright plan. 

It took Ignis MONTHS. Literal months of mental preparation. He wrote the little speech and corrected it over and over and over and over for weeks to know what to tell his parents and how. He practiced in his head, with the mirror, with Noctis, he rehearsed aloud to an empty room. He had his routine of breathing before it to get ready, during it to not lose it, he had been gathering courage for all those MONTHS

“I’m sorry, Ignis, I know it’s important but I have to hand these papers in three days from now. Could you tell me some other day?”

He didn’t even get to the first word of his speech because he wasn’t even given the chance.

He dropped the bomb in the first sentence he said, on purpose, so his parents would know how big of a thing it was and wouldn’t discard it; “I’ve spoken with Gladiolus about marriage.” And he got this. I’m busy. Paperwork. Good that you’re marrying but can you please not interrupt me?

Ignis didn’t even get angry. He just stood there, in front of his parents, staring a little with a blank face. He still waited a bit, and his mom did look up from her papers as if asking if he needed anything. Willing to listen, and Ignis knew and saw it. 

But decided it wasn’t worth it, and he just turned around and left. 

He didn’t feel bad that night, or the next, and he worked just fine during the week…but he kept…to say it some way, withering.

 Like back when he had to go back to sleeping at his parents’ every night, Ignis started slowly looking restless and upset with each day. With the heavy air and shoulders, the tired look, and that exhausted aura that felt like he struggled at getting out of bed every day. 

And of course, Regis noticed. 

One day, he visited Ignis to see what was going on. He had Ignis sit on a chair and he sat across him, and had him talk about it. By that point Ignis has grown so much personal trust with Regis that he doesn’t struggle anymore at opening up with him. 

Ignis spoke long, much longer than he knew he had to speak, about all the things his parents don’t do and do, and went on and on, and it was past the shift end hour, it got dark and late and they didn’t even bother turning the lights on and just kept going. 

And then Ignis got to the point where one sentence alone had him break.

“I don’t understand, I’m their son, and they love me, so why don’t they care?”

Ignis stopped there because, as he said that last bit, he started crying. Fast, out of nowhere, not even noticing, he just…broke down right there. At first he stayed still while crying, as if only after saying it aloud had he noticed the weight it held. 

Little by little he started putting the head down, until he seemed to finally understand what he said, and so he started properly crying. Ignis tried cleaning his eyes, took his glasses off, and sobbed and cried.

It wasn’t long before Regis had stood from his chair and had reached for him. Got close, and took Ignis in a hug.

Ignis didn’t even care if this was the king or someone else’s dad. He didn’t. He just buried his face in his hands, and his hands and face in Regis’ chest, and started sobbing. 

Regis hugged him and kept him to his chest for as long as he needed. He pet his hair, rubbed his back, squeezed his arms, and didn’t let go while letting Iggy cry all that he wanted to sob out.

After a bit, Ignis tried cleaning his nose and eyes, and let go of his face to hug Regis back. It was a bit timid, and a little weak, but he held to Regis’ jacket like a scared, upset kid, and shyly sniffled while calming down. 

“Why don’t they care?” he whispered again mid-tears, genuinely lost…but not alone.

Later, when Ignis let go and Regis sat next to him, Ignis apologized because he “should” be grateful for what he has, and he has Regis and that’s way better than any parent he could have asked for and way better than the bad his real parents have done to him, and, surprisingly, Regis didn’t agree this time.

“It’s not something that can be replaced. A joy in your life doesn’t nulify the bad. When it hurts, it hurts. I can be your dad all that we want, but it won’t take away the hurt you feel for the real one. And that’s ok. You are grateful for what you have, but it’s also ok to be hurting on this. I would be hurting, too.”

someone give this man a prize already please

A week later Clarus walked into a very upset Regis giving a paper his Tantrum Frown.

“Regis?”

“Clarus how do I adopt an adult that has legal living parents?”

Regis, no.

REGIS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING YES.

Now Regis doesn’t ask the Scientia “you have a son?” whenever they mention Ignis, he just goes “Ah, you know his name?”

savage

One day, a 24 year old Iggy went to Regis’ chambers during a sunday hence day off. Regis was ? :3

Ignis asked Regis if he would please help him choose the engagement ring he was going to get for Gladio.

Regis was out of the room screaming and swinging the Regalia’s keys before Ignis had finished the sentence.

SHOPPING TIME

There we have him a PROUD PAPA going with his BEAUTIFUL SON to get an engagement ring because BOY IS GONNA ASK HIS BF FOR MARRIAGE AND JESUS CHRIST IS THIS EXCITING

Honestly I’m saving how excited Regis was because it’s just too much excitement to be described lmao 

Just imagine him screeching the whole way to the mall

and the dy after

and all over the week

Regis was so excited he slightly fainted at least twice across the week lmao thank the gods a chuckling Clarus was there to help but anyway back to RING SHOPPING

Just like that time Regis was his FASHION EXPERT on the first date Iggy had with Gladio, Regis is now becoming RING EXPERT for him

“HOW. Are you going to wear that ring with those SHOES”

“why are the shoes always the problem”

They didn’t spend as long in the store as they did with the clothes that once, but they did spend a good while looking at the prettiest rings and comparing and thinking about what Gladio would personally like, and etc etc. 

Basically Regis helping Iggy pick the engagement ring plEASE I BEG FOR THIS SCENARIO AKSLJDFDG *cries*

When Ignis got decided for one, he was just pulling out his credit card when RegIS. FUCKING. SLAMMED HIS DEBIT CARD ON THE COUNTER.

I PAY FOR THIS ONE.

omg but king Regis I’ve been saving up for a whole yea-

IT GOES ON MY BEHALF GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THIS IS MORE A GIFT TO ME THAN IT IS TO EITHER OF YOU SHUT UP

Regis = Gladnis shipper #1

Fun side story, an hour after Ignis and Regis left, CLARUS AND GLADIO ARRIVED. TO THE SAME STORE. LOOKING FOR THE EXACT SAME RING THAT IGNIS JUST BOUGHT. BECAUSE GLADIO HAD HAD IT IN HIS WATCH FOR OVER A MONTH NOW, BUT HE FREAKING…DIDN’T RESERVE IT, HE’S AN IDIOT, SOME STUPID ASSHOLE BOUGHT IT BEFORE HIM, IT WAS THE PERFECT RING, P E R F E C T, THERE WAS NO RING BETTER ON THIS PLANET OR THIS UNIVERSE THAT COULD COMPARE, AND WHAT WERE THE ODDS HE COULD FIND THE BUYER TO BUY IT BACK!?? WHAT WERE THE GODDAMN ODDS FUCKTHISSHIT GLADIO WAS SO A N G R Y.

fun side story #2 can we have Gladnis proposing to each other the same day because that’s disgustingly freaking adorable and I die with cuteness overload at the thought thank you. Like u know, those cute videos, I think there are two where partner 1 proposes to partner 2, and partner 2 just LAUGHS and partner 1 is ;A; ??? and partner 2 suddenly pulls out a little box too and it makes sense and the two just freaking lose it. Yes, Gladnis vibes, thank you

Let’s make it an Eos tradition that the father or parent or parental figure of the groom (or bride or person in suit) gets them the tie and only show them on the wedding day and they put it on their kid. (that’s actually a nice tradition, nice thinking Brain, I’ll steal this from myself later)

On the wedding day, in a room, Clarus is tying Gladio’s tie.

In the other, Ignis is tying his own. 

He did tell dad, but didn’t tell him about the tradition and dad assumed it wasn’t happening. It was fine, Ignis kept it a secret because he didn’t want his dad to do it, and he was fine getting his own tie. 

(Scientia parents are present, just Ignis asked them to be sat and away, he was fine on his own, and because Scientia parents don’t care they were just like okie)

And of course, there was then a knock at the door.

“Ignis?”

“…ki…KING REGIS!?”

Regis is smiling and going in and closing the door. Ignis stands up and he seemed to have been about to run towards him, but he freezes in his spot, and suddenly stands there like a lost shy kid, and his eyes immediately water. They say nothing for a while and just stare at each other, until Ignis, at the edge of crying, just whispers in a broken voice “You came.”

“Of course I did. What sort of horrible thing would I be if I missed your wedding? I’m sorry I’m late, I just didn’t know in which room you were. You should’ve told me!”

It takes a while as Ignis controls his tears and feelings and gets over the shyness before he says it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d come and I didn’t want to pressure you by asking for this…extra thing, just consumes time, and I could do it alone, it was fine, really…”

“An extra thing?” 

Regis starts limping his way towards him. Then, when he gets to Ignis, he pulls out a little large box. Ignis finally starts crying when Regis opens it and there’s a tie inside.

While Iggy cries a bit, Regis undoes his tie, throws it away, and gently and very softly starts tying the new one. He does his best and prettiest tie, and pats it.

“It’s no extra thing. It’s my responsibility.”

Ignis immediately went in for a tight hug, crying into Regis’ shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t ask you for this, I’m so sorry…I…know you’re genuinely busy, and that’s ok, you run the biggest country of the world and a whole magic core alone, I know it’s genuine and I’ve never been upset for that, I just…know you’re genuinely busy…”

Regis returned the hug as lovingly and tight as only a father does, and kissed his head.

“Yes, a king is always busy. But never for my son.”

And that’s how Ignis was walked down the aisle by REGIS FUCKING LUCIS CAELUM CXIII OF HIS NAME THE MAN HIMSELF.

*cries*

HOW DARE YOU ASK ME FOR SUPPORTIVE REGIS, ANON, NOW I’M A MESS OF FEELINGS AND A CHAOS OF EMOTIONS ASKDJFKG GODS BLESS THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m an absolute disaster for supportive papa Regis. U see supportive Regis u show me, ok? OK? THANK YOU ;____;

But anyways, dear anon, HERE YOU GO WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL ASK THAT WAS SUCH A DELIGHT TO RECEIVE, AND SUCH A WONDER TO ANSWER. ( ˙꒳​˙ )

I hope you enjoyed these at least half as I did!

Thank you, and have a WONDAHFUL day! 

[peachesnbasil]

incredibly long thoughts on the latest granblue chapters (spoilers and general rambling)

SO MUCH IS HAPPENING.

first off it was lovely seeing everyone’s faces again. i’m not really sure what it is loki is up to. the whole let’s gather allies thing is weird since he was so antisocial previously but i guess we’ll see. i think maybe the death of his brother is weighing on him more than expected, and i’m wondering if he’ll meet up with orchis again since she is technically his niece, as furious as that seems to make him. i think, apart from furias, the other major big bad for this arc is going to be the violet knight. i feel like we’re working our way through the knights- black knight in arc one, golden knight in 2. scarlet knight was sort of there both times but his plot was more in 2.

speaking of furias something is def up with him. total personality switch. and both drang and loki pointed it out, too, so i think that this is either not the original furias or one that has been severely corrupted by the true king, maybe similar to what happened with gilbert but with more control? although gilbert got progressively crazier while furias went from tempter tantrums to ice cold so maybe it’s not the same thing. probably not dark essence? the person who used dark essence the most is pommern, and he’s still mentally in one piece even if it’s physically taken a toll (shoutout to pommern for basically doing the ‘major villain to weird uncle’ thing, also his new clothes are nice lol). 

then of course there’s orchid?/zwei who is. kinda over the top i feel (don’t at me but it felt like shadow the hedgehog L O L). but i am intrigued by her at the same time, and i’m looking forward to the story doing more with the ‘what is original/real’ sort of vibe they had going in arc 1 with orchid/orchis and the black knight. esp with furias’ ‘the age of the false has come’ thing.

drang and sturm!!!! the moment it became clear that orchid was going to be a central chara i knew they’d be back but i was not expecting them back so soon. i was extremely happy to see both of them, though. what an entrance. i yelled. thank you wilfrid for chauffering them. although i’m really, really hoping that we get black knight back too, both because i think she’d be interesting considering we haven’t really delved into her feelings about the orchis/orchid ending, and i want to see her react to orchid?/zwei. also god, eugen please talk to your daughter. you promised it to the spirit of your dead wife come on. we gotta start fixing these family plotlines. i’m imagining drang is gonna have a reckoning with ferry when she comes back to the plot (oh my god i am. so excited for that to happen) and eugen and black knight need to have theirs too (prolly won’t get closure on golden knight/pholia and scarlet knight/hal until we get back to nalhegrande but i want to see those too).

another thing is katalina. she’s due for her 5* and presumably this means she’s gonna bond to a primal like the rest of the crew did. i briefly thought maybe mithra in the spirit of her promise of protecting lyria but idk. or whatever the name of the primal on the dydroit belt was that controlled bonds? or maybe we’ll pull a new one out of a hat. either way i’m excited for her to get some development since despite having her in our party since day one we still ultimately know very little about her. i love team mom.

and then we finally started getting some exposition about good ol dad, who was apparently the disciple of an actual god (granblue hands me everything i want on a platter yet again). the fact that we might need to go up against him is not that surprising considering this is, after all, a jrpg. but i’m really excited to finally start knowing more about the red dragon/girl in blue thing. also, wasn’t that half-shown girl with the true king called ‘priestess?’ would she be connected to the same god dad is? we didn’t get to see her face so she’s still super mysterious but i’m intrigued!

too bad there won’t be more until january. although, luckily, i’ll prolly be right out of surgery at the time so it’ll be like my get well soon present lol.

some final thoughts:

- low-budget crew was hilarious. i love their mascot.

- orchid as a symbol of peace!! she’s really growing on me. i love her. i hope she gets to go on a gourmet food tour with orchis.

- please new art for lyria and siero, PLEASE. it really shows it’s age next to everyone else’s shiny new art

- fenrir.... between this and the recent rerun of jade event i really feel for her. i still have mixed feelings about her but if we can get some more development i’ll be interested....

- katalina and rosetta covering their respective daughter’s eyes was a great moment. at this point i’m sure lyria and io have Seen Some Shit but like. still cute

- listen. i have so many emotions about the exchange with drang and sturm where he says ‘isn’t it nice to have a place to call home?’ and she just kind of shrugs it off. that went direct to my heart. i earnestly hope she like. knows she can trust all the crew. i’d love to see her open up a little. one day i will have to make a post just talking about my feelings about these two but this one is already too long, so that’s enough for now lol.

[the-real-truth-of-our-world]

SHIT SO OKAY IM JUST READING HOMESTUCK AND THEY GET ONTO APPLES AND ALL THIS SYMBOLISM SHIT AND NEUTON AND ADAM AND EVE AND ALL THAT AND HOW ITS ALL ABOUT APPLES AND THEN IM TALKING ABOUT HUGNER GAMES SINCE ITS ON AND HOW THEY TOOK OUT THE ROOF AND APPLE SCENE AND THEN THE APPLE SCENE IN SNK CROSSES THROUGH MY HEAD THEN DEATH NOTE AND THEN ALL THESE OTHER APPLE REFERENCES JUST KEPT GOING THROUGH MY HEAD AND I HAD A SUDDEN LIFE REALIZATION!!!!! THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND APPLES!!!! LIKE THINK THE MOST POPULAR AND LEADING COMPANY IS CALLED APPLE!!!!!!!!! FROM THE START OF TIME LIFE HAS BEEN ABOUT DAMN APPLES!!!! AND COME ON ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO HATE APPLE JUICEE!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING HERE I KNOW WHAT LIFE IS NOW! AN APPLE! APPLELIFE LIFELIFE LIFE APPLES!!!!!!! SCHOOL - APPLES!!!!!!!!! WORK - APPLES!!!!!!!! AND LIKE IF YOU GO TO A MUSEUM THERES AN APPLE IN ALMOST EVERY PAINTING! LIKE IF IT AINT JUST A PERSON I GURARANTEE YOU THERES A 99.9% CHANCE THERES AN APPLE SOMEWHERE IN THERE! FORGET THE FUCKING ILLUMANATI ITS APPLES COMTR OMFG VICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! APPLES ARE THE ILLUMINATI ARENT HTEY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THE ILLUMANATI IS JUST A DECOY TO THE REAL THRUTH WHICH IS APPLES!!!!!! APPLES ARE REALLY BEHIND ILLUMANATI AND ALL THAT SHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE SHIT HAVE YOU EVER GONA A FULL DAY WITHOUT EVEN SEEING AN APPLE ONCE!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MAY NOT HAVE CROSSED YOUR MIND BUT YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS THERE WAS OBVIOUSLY AN APPLE!!!!!!!!!! OMG EVEN DOCTOR WHO IS PART OF THE APPLEATI!!!!!!!! (ILLUMINATI + APPLE = APPLEATI!!! EVEN THO APPLES ARE THE ILLUMINATI!!) LIKE HOELY SHIT WHAT M,ORE POPULAR THAN FUCKIEN APPLE SHIT NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ITD BE BULL TO EVEN THINK SO!!!!!!!! LIKE YOUD KNOW YOUF BE LYIN TO URSLELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST THINK ABOUT IT MAN IM TOTALLY FUCKING RIGHT AND IF THE APLE MENT OR GOVERNAMENT RLLY AS THEY LIKEK TO HAVE US BELIEVE EVER FINDS OUT I KNOW IM SO FUCKING DEAD SO IF I GO MISSING U KNOW THE APPLEMENT OR RLLY APLLEATI IS BEHIND IT AND I AM TOTALLY FREKIN RIGHT. BUT YEAH IM TOTALLY RIGHT BOUT THIS SHIT APPLES ARE THE FUCKING UNIVERSEW I BET IF THEY EVER FIGURE OUT WHAT THE UNIVERSE IS SHAPED LIKFE THEY GONNA SEE A GODDAMN APPLE SHAPE!!!!!!!! AND EVEN IF THERE AINT A APPLE THERES A FREAKING REFERNCE OR SOMETHIN THAT MAKES U THINK APPLE SUBCONCIOUSLY IN DA BACK OF UR HEAD LIKE HMMMM RED APPLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! YKNOW WHAT IM GETTIN AT???????? LIKE YO APPLES ARE LIFE!!!!! I MEAN WHAT DO STORES ALWAYS HAVE AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF?????????? APPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ANOTHER THING I JSUT NOTICED WATHCING HUNGER GAMES THE THING OIUNTMENT THING THAST KATNISS GETS FOR HER LEG IT KINFDA LOOKS LIKE APPLE SAUCE!!!!!! BUT A LIL LESS CHUNKY ALTHO I HAVE HAS APPLE SAUCE THAT LOKS EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!! AND WHY IS APPLESAUCE SO POPLAR?????? BC ITS A FIICKING APPLES@@@@@@ LIKE EVEN THE NAME THEY GIVE APPLES IS ALL LIKE FOND MEMORIESSSSS AND MMMMMMMMM APPLES!!!!!!! LIKE GRANNY SMITH???? OH GRANDMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! GOLDEN DELICIOUS ?????? GOLDEN DELICIOUS BOTH ARE LIKE MMMMMMM YEAH I WANT ME SOME OF THAT!!! MM YEAH!! GEMME SOME A DAT SHIT1!!!!! RED DELICIOUS????? WHO DOESNT WANT A NICE RED(LIKE HOW MUCH MORE FUCKING REFD IN LIFE DO WE NEED HOLY CERAP THAT GOTTA BE PART OF APPLEATI !!!!!!!!!) DELICIOUS APPLE!!!!!!!! AND LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN SOME OF DOSE APPLES OUT THERE THEY FREAKING GORGEOUS LOOKING!!!!!!!!!! LIKE HOT DAMN THATS A NICE LOOKING APPLE!!!! OH OH OH THEN THERES NEW YORK!!!!!! D SINGLE MOST FAMOUS CITY EVER!!!!!!!! ITS MOST FAMOUS NICKNAME "THE BIG APPLE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COINKY DINKS!!!!!!! I THINKS NOT!!!!!!!!!! NU UHHHHHHHH NOPE!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS ON PURPOISE FROM THE APPLEATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ThIs Is A fUcKiNg ThINg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A CLIP FROM GOOGLING APPLE "The apple tree is a deciduous tree in the rose family best known for its sweet, pomaceous fruit, the apple" SWEET . PROMACEOUS. HMMMMMMMMMM AND OH LOOKSY A THAT ITS IN THE ROSE FAMILY!!!!!!!! THE MOST FAMOUS FLOWER CAUSE SHIT ITS THE MOST ROMANTIC FLOWER AND HUMANITY LIVES OFF ROMANCE AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS APPLES ARE PART OF THAT FAMILY SO DEFINITELY NOT ANOTHER COINKY DINK!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALL PROVING MY SHIITING POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!OH AND AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY?!?!?!?!? YEAH EAT AN APPLE A DAY AND YOU WONT GET ILL!!!!!!!!!! BULLSHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT APPLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS AREEEEEEEEEEEEEE COMTROLLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG PEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BACK TA HUNGA GAMES!!!!!!!!! HUNGER - APPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK NO MY REAL POINT! HOW DOES KATNISS BLOW UP ALL THE SHIT IN THE FIRST BOOK/MOVIE?!?!??!?!?!?! BY USING A FUCKEN BAG OF ______________!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUESSED IT!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKING APPLES. AN SHIT HOW MANY APPLE PROVERBS AND WHATCHA MA CALL ITS UH METAPHORS IS THERE???????? IN THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE???? WTF!!!!!!!!!! ADAMS APPLE!!!!!!!!!!! AND WHY DO YOU BOB FOR APPLES???????? SHIT EVEN TWILIGHT IT HAD A FUCKING APPLE ON THE COVER AND ADVENTURE TIME MARCELINE EVERYONES FAV LEZ VAMPIRE SHOW FINN AND JAKE HER VAMPY SUCKY POWERS BY SUCKING THE COLOUR FROM AN APPLE!!!!! AND WHY DO YOU PUT AN APPLE ON SOMEONES HEAD THAN SHOOT IT WITH AN ARROW OMF IN VAMPIRE SHIFT THE VAMPYRUS WAS EATIN A FUCKEN APPLE WHEN YA FIRST MEET THAT HOT PIECE OF ASS AND WHY ARE APPLES IN SO MUCH DEEP AND ARTSY SHIT LIKE DEPRESSED ART ---- LOOK A FUCKING APPKLE!!!! AND WHATS WITH THE GIRLS ARE LIKE APPLES THING??? LIKE WTF IS THAT ALL ABOUT?@?@?@?@ OMFG IM GOIN BACK TO VAMPIRES WHAT VAMPIRE SHIT DOESNT HAVW SOEMTHING TO DO WITH AN APPPLE TBH IDK WHAT KIND OF VAMPIRE SHIT IVE SEEN OVER THE YEARS BUT HALF OF IT THEY HAVE AN APPLE LIKE 'MMMMMMM YEAH LOOK AT DIS SWEET FUCKEN APPLE IM FONDLING MMMMMM YEAHHHHH' AND IN THE BIBLE WHY THE APPLE THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT LIKE WTF WHY IT SO FORBIDDEN????????? AND OMF WHY IF FOOD IS BEING INVOLD=VED IN A RIGHT BEOFRE THE SEX OR VERY SEXY SCENCE OR SHIT LIKE THAT IS IT ALWAYS AN APPLE BEING INVOLVED LIEK 'YASSSSSSSSSSS WATCH ME ''SENSUALLY'' BITE IN TO APPLE SUPER SEXAY LIKE MMMMMMMMM YA U LIKE DAT DONTCHU MMMMMM YAAAAA' LIKE WTF???????? AND AGAIN TO TWILIGHT THE APPLE SCENCE AND OMF SNK THAT APPLE SCENE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO FUCEN SEXUAL OMFG EVEN I COULD SENSE THE SEXUAL TENSION IN THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! AND OH SWITCHED AT BIRTH DID SHIT LIKE THAT THE SENSUALLY EATING A MITHER DUCKENING APPLE LIKE OHHHHH YEAHHHHHH UR TOTALLY GETTING OFF ON THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE ARENT YA ????@?@?@?@?@ MMMMM YA U ARE WAHCT ME BITE THSI FUCKEN APPLE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!1 BACK TO HUNGER GAMES ACTUAKKY THE ROOF SCENE! U KNOW WHAT THEY GOT WIT THEM??? A FUCKEN APPLE!!!!!!!!!! THEY BE FUCKEN AROUND WIT AN APPLE UP THERE AND THAT SCENE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND SHIT CAUSE ITS LIKE WHRE THEY FUCKING FINALISE THERE LOVE FOR EAVHOTHER AND LIKE FUCK WE RLLY DO LOBE EAVHOTERH HUH????? ON THAT ROOF WUTH THAT APLPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WHNE THEY REALIXE THAT SHIT!!!!!!! YOU HEARIN ME?!!??@?@ SHIT LET NOT FFORGT THAT CELEBRITY THAT CALLED THE KID-I THINK THEIR DAUGHTER??APPLE!!!!!! AND MUFFA FUCKING DISNEY MAN! OH MY FUCK DISNEY!!!!!! LIKE ALL THE MOST POPULAR AND MOST LOVED DISNEY GOT APPLES IN THE,!!!!! LOOK AT SNOW WHITE OMGDFG AMD WHY ARE VENDING MACHINES ALWAYS STALKED FULL PF APPLE JUICE YET EVERYONE ALWAYS HAS APPLE JUICE LIKE WTF APPLEEEEEEEEEEEE

[spikedfanta]

organizations and people

suresh kumar

yashas shetty

whofeedsblr

rewilding

5) suresh kumar farm - re-wilding - indian english garden, chakota, etc. //

experience ((the wild garden ))

today, i've been thinking about the internet and all its knowledge systems - there is much that the internet doesn't contain. it does not contain so many stories, the ability to generate respect and mindfulness for one's surroundings, to help one better be in touch with reality -- but at the same time it can connect one to others trying to do the same.

The raintree - I never knew how dividied people were about it.

those blogspot blogs - so many people had/have one. and the articles still pop up now when you look for hyper niche information - particularly during this project, when i look for information on places - flora and fauna - and general nature, food, and life related information on bangalore! a blog that someone started out of their own interest to share a part of their lives - carve out their own space on the internet. and it differs from instagram, or facebook - it really does. while super useful for sharing what youre up to - you dont really get to sit and share long form content about your life. and i wonder if that has reduced ones capacity to then read about these happenings in someone elses life. it's only now, when so much of the information i am looking for (related to experiencing places in and around bangalore - treks, markets, spaces of nature, etc. + food + flora and fauna, lakes, edible weeds + bangalore nostalgia) happens to be on blogs. an unofficial networked document of the city that is coming together with google searches. the way we gather information on the internet, so disparate yet all coming together - which is why a resource bank for the project is important.

we learn on the internet by gathering all this information from all over - sources from youtube videos to blogs to even comments (which can be very useful!) to forums and niche old websites.. and they become a psychogeography of place on the internet. we then synthesize it together to create our own understanding which we can then share, i think. and it all has such a personality...

i think this research combined with actively going out of my way to engage with people in the real world is really building a sort of image in my head. i think what i am trying to do is express that image in a project, and using all these tools from people abroad etc etc to express it in a very bioregional local way - a sort of 'back to the land' for the internet. it's astounding to see the amount of videos for things like making henna or flower garlanding or gardening -- anything you want to learn, and there is a video. it wasnt always this way wasnt it? i remember that there were so many western videos you had to shuffle through. at any rate, one part of the project is documenting my creations and what im learning in a bioregional way -- by creating a sort of alter ego and making an internet personality/blogger type.

what kind of personality can i give my alter ego? she'll be allowed to say and do a lot more than i can, i think. but she still lives in my body and experiences what i experience. she is a curious scientist of the world - she is the child forever in me. she picks up things and runs with them. she is playful and mindful.

speaking of mindful, i am back in bellandur and i havent been doing much sense mapping. i havent done much sense mapping at all. im not sure what im scared of... well, im going to hear the birds and smell the dust and feel the dust and hear the construction and taste the rose apple see the kind of boxy room i live in, in an apartment .. where all the noises echo louder and loom off further into the distance.. as well as make their way here. what is the difference from yelahanka, with the trees? covering me with their canopies? what about suresh's farm - further from the hubbubububub.

symbols.. hmm.. the home garden tulsi. a tincture or tonic water. a weed popping out of a pavement. two birds playing. construction sounds. far off construction red light. dust. colours... faded blue, grey, white, green, red. crushing. the act of it. the sound. the sound of simmering. the sound of ticking and an oven. chopping. plucking. leaves rustling. crushing in your fingers and smelling.

scent of tulsi and basil as i rub it and it makes me less anxious and less nauseous and very calm and minty. henna and its bittery herbal smell. the tonic waters.. sweet basil, a bit anise like. and lemon, no citrus just sweet lime leaf. malabar spinach and a stain like blood. royal purple blood. the sweet pannir of a rose apple,, a delicate. treat. what if i added rose petal? rose water? a gingery affair, spicy.. floating suspended in water. a bug. i like how they call it that. how long till it comes alive? lemon and fenugreek and black tea in henna - the goopy mixture, ready to go on my hair. soapy - the leaves. clay like - the powder. visually.. the leaves go sop and lose their green on so much boiling. on pounding. the malabar spinach goes POP. there are greens and a pumpkin. visually, i feel satisfied by the rainbow today. purple malabar. indigo.. uh.. i suppose the malabar satisfiesx that. green.. the tulsi, the aloe, thee lemongrass, the basil, the ajwain, the betel leaf.. the spinach greens.. the henna. wow. a lot of green. taste.. well all of it tasted nice. chewing a tulsi and betel leaf. yum. yellow.. lemon and panir. orange hmm. papaya? carrot. red.. hibiscus. a curry leaf.

well, anyway. i got a lot out of my head today. i shall have to spend some time organziing and planning tomorrow. i am a in a little bit of a 'do mode' flow. tomorrow morning, i will wake up by 7.. meditate. hear birds. sense check in. go for a walk to soul kere lake. sense map/check. come back. drink herbal tea. plan - covid test, things to buy and do today, places nearby to go (if any) - make a trip outside (wrap up by 12 hopefully)

lab work today -- hopefully 12-4 and later at night, with time for research (new media, blogs, projects related to tools, etc.) and some checkin in - sense journaling, symbolism, relfection, artistic expression. evening. we henna.

documentation of research for these recipes! going through comments, that only comment from soemwhere who has the same question as yours.. bringing that back to my regional level and answering it here.

at an experience leve.. suresh kumar. i am astounded by someone like him, and i wonder if i can ever be someone like that. i feel like such a privileged city girl around him, in awe of everything, dumb and stupid. but this is not true right? idk. he is a very cool man and i love how friendly he is which is required to work at such a community level. how can i imbibe that level of community gathering and effort? it is by dedication to your work but also a level of genuine respect for everyone around you. i wager that i dont have that respect? for myself? maybe? i dont know. no, and for others either. because there is competition - what is it he said. i gained my confidence through my work. there is no other way. holy shit. there is no other way. i must gain my confidence through my work. just do a lot of it. and be as open and genuine as i can to others. work on EneErgIes. no? somewhere, i know there is something that drives me to do things. and even if it might be 'shit'.. i think i have a vision, perhaps.

there are things to plan.. tomorrow, i will spend an hour just 'starting'. i suppose. blog posts be damned. i suppose as the idea comes, make a tumblr draft and let it sit with a quick note and memory. tomorrow is also a making day. so is saturday. saturday evening i plan the next week, and finish what i 'started'. and sunday i make teasers with whatever content i have right now. no time to build new content. just enough for swati and co to get a gist of what im about. and dont share everything. keep a few teases.

think i really want to do a clay texture map tomorrow. and also work on the animation. and childhood. and topography. Oh! spring equinox celebration meal as well. and chill climate weather bengal oo roo. and nostalgia mapping. def some mapping. animist... POV.. herbalism and energy and nature of plants. the ability to stain. to scent. to taste. my experience of the plant.. and what is the plant experience of me? to crush and chew and nibble. but my reality isnt a plants reality. i dont know if it 'hurts'. it exists differently. it exists. i exist.

i want some jasmine flowers definitely to make some jasmine hydrosol..

need to read some diance ackerman, and some animism / that camden art festival thing before i sleep. some

todays kitchen mapped out

[scithemodestmermaid]

okay so i’m taking notes on microsoft’s conference

watching it here

so i have that aperture science core plushie i made next to me for this, because i was doing some restitching on her, just wanted to set the stage anyway

prepare montage pictures

outer worlds, right off the bat!  are we still mad at outer worlds?  idk and idc.

october 25th release date for outer worlds...except for steam, but let’s not mention that part....

outer worlds still looks dope, don’t get me wrong.

i don’t know what is going on with bleeding edge, but i’m terrified.  also intrigued.

THE ONE PERSON WHO “WHOO’D” FOR ORI, HIGH-FIVE TO YOU

were there actual boss fights in the first ori?  i don’t remember, it’s been a real long time since i played it.  i just remembered it being like a disney.

someone in the live chat just said, “it’s fallout 5!”

....wait, is this minecraft 2?

a minecraft dungeon crawler?!

minecraft dungeons looks fun, but i’m only just now getting back into og minecraft and i prefer its pacing and the ability for housebuilding so i think i’m sticking with that.

phil spencer is getting todd howard levels of cheering right now.

just noticed he’s wearing a psychonauts shirt.  HMMMMMMM

oh its the droid boi

jedi fallen order right now, they got one of those big four legged mechs and its covered in vines and you get to pilot it apparently and that right there hypes me up.

DOOOOOOOOOPE STAR WARS

ooh a scaries?

a dog in a scaries, that does not bode well it better not die.

ITS A BLAIR WITCH GAME

CYBERPUUUUUUUUUUUNK 2077, BOYOS

don’t stick your gun in your buttcrack, kids, that could end terribly

NO NOT JACKIE.  i liked him in the 48 minute thing.  

whoa the other guy was a backstabber, who’d a thunk it

bawss friggin fightin

KEANU REEVES????

HOLY CRAP IT REALLY IS KEANU REEVES

hello i may or may not have a crush on keanu reeves, but that’s basically everybody

i already was gonna get this game but if he’s in it, then absolutely must buy.

he’s even wearing a cyberpunk 2077 shirt, <3

seriously, he’s a cyberpunk king, friggin neo is in this game.

he is having so much fun right now.

YOU R BREATHTAKING

APRIL 16th, 2020, BOYOS

wow no cheers for an official release date, screw you guys too.

is this animal crossing?

is this animal crossing with permadeath?

spiritfarer is animal crossing with permadeath, pass it on

BATTLETOADS MUSIC

a new battletoads game, and it is NOT 3d?  props.

legend of wright has a cool art style, but idk seems a bit too artsy for me, and thats saying something

okay the camera needs to stop pulling away from the screen cuz when it does that i cant see crap

wait theres a pathologic 2?

everyone in live chat is making this joke so i will too...the name’s bond, sarah bond.

people are also begging for keanu to come back.

xbox game pass for pc is available today, so that’s nice.

okay so you mentioned master chief collection, when exactly is it coming out?  not gonna say, okay then.

ten bucks a month, not bad.

xbox game pass ultimate puts them all together at no additional cost, so thats cool.

if you start today, it’s one dollar, extremely impressive.

wait so this is actually a game?  i thought they were just bsing it and showing real world footage for something.

the only flight simulator i will play is the one at the local historical museum, sorry.

everyone in the live chat is too distracted by that song that was playing during the montage, the one that was like “are you game game game, are you game game game,” except it was easy to mishear “game” as “gay” so they’re taking that and running.

this is exactly what i imagined colorado to be like.

is this fallout colorado?

oh its wasteland 3.  so i was pretty close.

matt booty?  HMMMMMMM

no one is listening to mr. booty, they’re just cheering his name.

well double fine productions has finally sold out.  well, i mean they sold out a while back, but now its literal.

they’re gonna show psychonauts???

tim schafer is one of those rare humans that has never changed physically, he looks the same as he did ten years ago.

they are indeed showing psychonauts 2, did any of yall get your backing rewards yet?

why are they pushing loboto so much?  did the fans really care about him so much back in 2005?

MORE STAR WARS?

ITS STAR WARS LEGO YAAAS

over 9000?

thats literally all i know about dragonball, is that theres a guy and his power level is over 9000.

is frieza mewtwo?

what am i lookin at here, is this top-down alan wake?

12 minutes is top-down alan wake, pass it on

deer with light up antlers

i have a feeling way to the woods is symbolism

who is this girl and why is everyone cheering?

gears of war, ah yes, the game so controversial that conservatives stopped harassing halo.  that’s all i know about the franchise.

all of this is french to me, i have no idea what any of this is.

what in the heck is going onnnnnn?????

wait is that dave fennoy?

wrestling superstars to play the new game mode?  que?

the terminator is just casually in gears of war.  okay.

car game.  great.

oh wait no, i was bamboozled, its a controller commercial.  for their new controller that looks a heck of a lot like the steam controller.  HMMMMMMM

people are still begging for keanu to come back.

never played the first dying light, but that sequel looks spiffy

oh, HERE is the car game.  complete with a random car just chillin on stage.

WAIT ITS LEGO AND THEYRE PLAYING EVERYTHING IS AWESOME, YOU NOW HAVE MY ATTENTION

and the random car just chillin on stage is made of lego, so i’ll take it back thats astounding.

.....but i just wanna kick that lego car’s door and watch it fall apart, i’m chaotic evil apparently.

funko pop, oh i can tune out then.

state of decay 2, i will not trust these devs after the moonrise fiasco so piss off with this game.

sega?

what is this, where is sonic?

phantasy star online 2, k

who tf is smilegate?

what tf is crossfire x?

(i took a break here but i don’t think i missed anything that i would’ve cared about)

oh borderlands, woooow.  another anticipated title brought low with epic games anti-hype. 

but it had claptrap and leg gun in the same scene so that makes it good.

look claptrap is the only part of borderlands that i like so lets move on.

miyazaki and rr martin???

let me give you a hand.  i’m not even apologizing for that joke.

some in the chat pointed out there’s not been gameplay so far in this conference, and thats interesting.

anyway elden rings or whatever.

is this it?  no halo or banjo?  

oh new gaming console, optimized for gaming....didn’t they just release a new xbox?

developers taking about we totally get gamers, we are going to get rid of loading screen because no one is patient.

i know i sound bitter but do understand, i am totally interested right now with the specs and the construction and all that, tis related to my major so yeah.

scarlett?  what a weird name for a console, but i genuinely hope that’s not just a placeholder i want a console with a human name.

next console is project jeff.

people in live chat are already confirming skyrim for the scarlett.

xbox is 18 years old?

also HALO NOW.  and its releasing with the scarlett.

plot twist: this is the master chief without his suit, just a dumpy white guy.

he aged ten years in five minutes, are we sure this isnt death stranding?

CHIEF

guys i found a master chief, he was sitting outside my window and he looked sad, like no one had fed him or anything in a long time, can i keep him?

yo i am hyped okay, i was big on halo when i was an obnoxious teen, my friends used to do halo 2 parties and i’d try to keep up.

and i guess that’s the end of the conference.  good selection of games, interested in that project scarlett, and all in all okay with it all.

still no banjo.  :-/

[searching-for-mercury]

Drawings of Her - FemPruAus

[Title may change later, idk. Also: Anneliese = Roderich and Maria = Gilbert if you didn’t already know~]

Anneliese's head felt like a fish tank -- full of water and squishy green algae. Finals were taking their sweet time to arrive and just be over with, no matter how many assignments she completed or classes she attended. There was always something to do, not a whole lot of time to do it in, and yet finals week did not have the decency to arrive in a calm, punctual sort of way; it either felt like it would never come at all or arrived out of nowhere with the tires still smoking.

              Most of her classes were art classes, which sounded all nice and good, nothing to really stress over, except jokes on everyone else: art classes were everything to stress over. They gobbled time up faster than a dog laps up water and felt even messier. Oil painting meant painting one layer and then waiting at least a full day, if not more, for it to dry before she could continue. She spent that time drawing, sketching, creating water color creations for a portfolio, and hoping the kiln did not murder the vase she made last class period. She was hoping to give that to her mom for Mother's Day, after all.

              There were also essays to write up about historical artistic movements, critiques, analyses, and everything else one could imagine to put in an art class. She probably had more examples, but they'd be written in her planner and she didn't want to get that out unless she absolutely had to. There was too much to do. Seeing the black cover with little white flowers just made her sad.

              It was after one particular class that Feliciana, a girl in the same class, approached her with compliments to her latest addition to the ongoing portfolio Anneliese had started at the beginning of the semester. Feliciana's wasn't the first, nor the last, to gush about the apparent symbolism and use of colors and how it all tied together.

              "I just can't get over the mouth," Feliciana said, adjusting the strap to her large art bag. They were awkward things, large and rectangular, and stiff enough to keep their large sheets of paper from being bent out of shape. "Everything else is in such vivid detail, with such cold colors, and then the mouth is just -- its blank."

              Anneliese didn't really need a reminder as to what her art looked like, so she wasn't too sure what to say. It was praise, that much was obvious, so she said, "Thank you," and hoped it would be enough.

              It wasn't, but the arrival of the parking lot soon cut their conversation off. Feliciana waved at her as she drove past and Anneliese lifted a hand from where she stood at the bus stop. She watched as the other girl clipped the curb and sped off, out of view.

              It was always the same, though. The mouth, the colors -- she was just glad everyone liked her art enough to allow her self-indulgency. She'd been asked before if the mouth being left away was to represent the voice of women, or lack thereof. Anneliese didn't remember the answer she'd given, but it somehow became an established thing. Whatever got her a better grade, she supposed.

She had everything set up to do another piece when she got home, though the actual painting would only be done after the initial sketching. It was Maria's day off, which was done slightly on purpose.

              The door to their apartment swung open with the keys in Anneliese's hand, hovering right where the keyhole should have been.

              "Did I scare you?" Maria asked, grinning in a way that said she sure hoped so. Her long, white-blonde hair swung as she leaned forward.

              "A little," Anneliese admitted. A year ago, she would have been loath to admit any sort of weakness around the other girl. A lot changed in a year. "What did you do all day?"

              Maria shrugged and moved to let Anneliese in. She had on her lazy clothes -- a blank tank top Anneliese not-so-secretly loved on her and some grey sweats she'd found in the men's section at a thrift store. Maria liked to pretend they once belonged to the military, that they had history. Anneliese liked to argue that all the clothing there had history.

              "Just computer things," Maria replied. 'Computer things' usually meant her blog, Netflix, games, or a combination of all three. "And I made brownies."

              "You?" Anneliese asked as she dropped her own art bag to the ground. The air did smell particularly delicious.

              "Yeah, my sister found a new recipe," Maria said. "This one has cookie dough."

              Anneliese had to nod to that one -- cookie dough was pretty fantastic. "Are you ready?" she asked.

              Maria struck a pose, like she was in front of the paparazzi. "Sketch away, my dear," she said.

              Anneliese couldn't help but smile. "Let me get out of these clothes first," she said.

              "Yes please."

              "So I can change into some comfy pants," Anneliese said, giving her girlfriend a very pointed look.

              "Aw."

              The sketching always took place by the window, where the afternoon sun shone through, and always started with her eyes. Maria had what others would call a 'resting bitch face,' but to Anneliese, it was just a very intense, always alert sort of look. Sharp and focused. With her blue eyes, it was easy to tell where she was looking and, more importantly, if she was looking at you.

              Then came the outline of her hair, long and silvery looking in certain light. It was always straight, though sometimes Maria let Anneliese play with it. They went to a formal party once and Anneliese had put it in curls, pinned it up with a sparkly barrette, and painted her lips the same color red as her dress. She looked amazing, Anneliese had done well, but it only lasted when Maria held still. And in no universe would Maria ever stay still. Even during sketch sessions, she'd twist about.

              After the hair came her strong jaw line and her long nose. She had a somewhat androgynous look to her that made Anneliese want to draw her from the moment they first met. Her personality was another reason, as she sort of oozed charisma and character, that there was something so very vivid and interesting within her that made Anneliese watch her without always realizing it.

              The shoulders, the shirt, the rest of her were simple lines, to be filled in later with flat colors mostly. The focus was always on her face.

              But then she got to the mouth. And she followed the lines of Maria's lips with her eyes, the way they curved when at rest and thought of the way they would pull thin when angry, or twitch up when she was thinking something mischievous. She knew what they looked when wet, when her tongue pulled out and swiped over them. She knew what they looked like parted, breathless.

              She never knew when the pencil actually stopped moving, but it always did. And her fingers stopped holding it and instead went to the soft sides of Maria's face, pulling her towards her until her own mouth found the one she'd been looking at.

[justafastfoodknight]

I guess I should write about what’s been going on? because there’s a shitload and i kind of hate myself for not keeping up with it!!!?ok

so last week was our trip to San Fransisco. mind u i had posted that we had no place to stay and would most likely cancel the trip... well we found a place. On the first night we met up with M’s co-workers and got a hotel/motel. Juliette had texted me saying she really wanted to meet up so we made a plan to in the next couple of hours. I was so nervous cause I have never had a friend understand things like she understands me and this is legit all from memes and tidbits we’d message on IG in the past years. she said she was gonna pick me up and take me to eat with her friend. So i got the i’m outside text and there she was! it was legit surreal. So met her friend who was super tall but super chill. let me say i’m fat af and that we had to walk every fucking where. holy shit. so we walked and talked about living in SF and me in the Valley. We made it to the underground station, they call it Bart. and we started really talking... like how anxiety and depression has fucked with our mentality and how it effects our academics. she asked me what I wanted to do and i was like since HS it’s been the same thing: movies. but i have so many idea and i have resources but i don’t have friends who want to and i have a shell i can’t break out of to socialize and network to do anything... and i was like i feel like such a failure because i have such a burning passion and i’ve had time but nothing has come of it. and i swear it was so nice to have someone else who had this outlook like: tbh i’m not even worried. and it wasn’t even like she had a set plan so she wasn’t worried but more of: “why do i have to have a career at 30? i realized i can’t do school so i’m taking simple easy classes on things i like and i’ll see where that leads.. i’m trying to not let societies pressure tell me i need to be at a certain place by a certain age.” and then i had this epiphany right there with her and told her about how David lynch started painting and doing sculptures as a teen and how that actually landed him a scholarship to a film school where he fucking made Eraserhead. and i said that he even now, being 70 something has creative control of his work which is FUCKING rare but he legit stuck to his aesthetics no matter how long it took him and he’s still getting praised. 

so yeah, then we got off the bart and walked a ton to this pizza place. trust i was tired af wanting to die from walking so much, and this line to get pizza was fucking insane. i was like are u sure we can even wait to eat cause i’m already tired. but we stuck it out and I HAVE NEVER EATEN PIZZA THAT FUCKING GREAT BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I FUCKING SWEAR!! so we started talking about how everyone in our class has babies and is engaged and married or have careers and shit and then we got into it about TA. Mind you, no one but maybe 2 people know what i think about him regardless if we hang out or talking or whatever. so then i was saying how crazy baby fever is and then she said “yeah i had a serious case back in HS when I dated TA, i swear i would have had his child and married him right then and there no questions asked i loved him that much.” bitch my insides shattered. i mean yeah he has a gf, and yea i’d known that they dated, but i never knew it was that serious. and here’s a girl who’s friendship i really fucking value telling me she was IN LOVE LOVE LOVE with some dude I tell myself i’m going to marry or be with. it sounds fucking crazy and i sound like a fucking idiot because this is all theoretical but omg i was like girl-code says u can’t date a friends ex. i took it with a grain of salt and reminded myself of the past things that had happened (which i will get into) and was kind of like ok, chill the fuck out.

we then walked to the amoeba record store and talked about movies and music and she’s so talkative and funny bish i was so happy to be around her. she’s enigmatic and pure i loved that she always had shit to say. so we bought stuff and made our way back. on the train she said that she noticed i had a little crab symbolizing Cancer and she said that that’s why we understood each other so well because she is also one! I had no idea but i was like UR AN EMO WRECK LIKE ME!!! it makes a lot of sense actually. from how we act around people and how we think it’s pt fucking cool. so walking back to my hotel she said she was sorry for not offering to host us but she was in a super tiny space that she would even hate for her sisters to come and stay with her because it was just her big ass bed and almost no other space but she said she was moving in the next year so she said i’d have to come down more often and stay with her!! it sounds super gay, trust me i know! but i have not made friends in fucking years!! so getting back i go up and like i fucking said we walked for hours and Mel and her friends had plans to go to a gay club which i was all for earlier but now that i had blisters on my feet and had makeup running down my face i was like pjs on lay in bed, watch the proposal and fall the fuck asleep. her friends were really cool too though. like one is this super femme gay dude who is circling around the idea of doing drag so his makeup is BOMB AF!! and the other girls were a lesbian couple who spoke so softly but were the cutest thing ever. so they kept drinking and being loud but i tbh did not mind, and they got on their last coats and left. the next thing i remember it was 4 am and M was on top of me saying some crap about the club and sorry for being so loud. then i heard them say that the coke was working so well and that they had so much energy. M kept saying she wanted to run around the block and at thjis point i was so fucking tire di wouldn’t even get up to check up on her, plus i had cramps and it was honestly 40 degress in that room cause they left the air on. so we all knocked out and we woke up to 23498234092834092384 alarms and the snooze buttons like a million times omg it was so funny after. got breakfast, went down to the golden gate bridge, which is impossible to even comprehend, went bowling, got burritos, drove to lombard st. and then got dropped off at our hostel. there was a mix up and we ended up in different rooms. we met up outside and decided to walk to the venue to see how far it was... bitch it was 20 mins walking and another 10mins trying to find the entrance... but the second we turned the corner.. THE FUCKING MARQUEE SAID BRAND NEW SEPT. 11!!! BITCH I WAS SCREAMING AND PUSHING M BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!!  we both got so excited!!!!! so we headed back and I said “i’m not taking chances i’mma wake up at 6 and be there by seven! i did not go through a fucking heart attack of a time to get here to NOT be front row.” so she said she was gonna meet up with a friend to get breakfast and that she would show up later. well I got there at 7 am and i was the first one for like 2 hours. honestly i have no idea how i do it, to pass the time i mean. like the show wasn’t until 9 and we spent all day outside just watching shit go by. but the people around us were super cool and raging BN fans which made me heart swell!! plus Jesse FUCKING LACEY walked right by us and was in an art supply store for hours!! i’m not even exaggerating but i heard he was on his phone the whole time and yeah. I didn’t wanna be that fan girl like before so i dropped it and just accepted it. so time came around to go in and right as i get into the part to scan my ticket it isn’t scanning.... i was like no!!!! hurry up i was being an asshole to the dude but he just let me go and my ass ran!!! i left M behind because i was deadset gonna save our spots and yeah we fucking made it center front row. let’s just say the show was a bit of a letdown. first: there was this huge screen in front which from far away looks incredible but from up front it’s just covering and outlining the band.. so that didn’t go up until half way and then came down again which was so fucking annoying!! plus!! they left off on an not so good song to end off on... i mean ur supposed to play an acoustic of best song last but no they did a hardcore one that left EVERYONE confused!! idk everyone after was like wtf tho!! but such a heartwarming part was singing Soco Amm with everyone in the crowd and knowing every word it was so fucking PURE!! During the wait outside before the show i decided to read up on the lyrics and facts which is my afvorite thing to do! i’m that bitch lol. but i was realling listening to the lyrics and Can’t Get it Out came on and i got so fucking teary-eyed holy shit i was shaking. the song about depression and feeling like a failure because nothing has been done although u love creating was so heartbreaking to hear. I decided it was my next tattoo so when this song came on and they played it my ass was crying and screaming at the top of my lungs. it was so good though cause i love love love the feeling of the crowd pushing me against the barricade cause it’s so reminiscent of my youth and shit i rarely ever do anymore. so the show ended and we left looking wrecked and flew back home.

now listening to Science Fiction i already have nostalgia and a fucking deeper love for Brand New i can’t stress it enough my heart will break the day they say it’s finally over ;~;

so work updates? um the shift at Urbane finally fucking left, it’s been months since he’s said he’d leave because things were “so fucked up there” but it was legit all rooted to him. so the manager and the dm sat down with him after multiple attempts to help him and told him he’d been demoted to kitchen cook. he got mad, and then later ranted that he wasn’t going to show up the next day... and he didn’t. legit everyone there is so much happier and less stressed out!! we all commented on the same thing it’s so nice!!

[sapphirescript]

Found this meme things originally from This Lovely person Thought’s it’d be fun :3

1: Do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you? When I freshly make a bed I will sleep ontop of a set of covers but generally I end up finding myself under all of them because pressure + warmmm. 2: Personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies? I haven’t decided 100% but I partially believe in reincarnation into similar entities ( human to human) but also maybe some kind of paradise? If not an eternal dream. 3: If faced with the opportunity, would you ever kill a criminal whom you don't know if it meant you could get anything you want in return? (Keep in mind you do not/can not know what said criminal has done to become a criminal until after you've made your decision) Nah, there’s not much I want where I am willing to take a life. And knowing my luck the “criminal” could be some guy with a parking ticket or some other stupid crime. 5: What type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing? This is a hard one but I know there’s a few things out there I like but never really want to do... Probably those people who sculpt perfect old cars. 6: You've been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. How would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (Eggs, litters, etc) I would probably keep sex but both sexes have equal sets of downstairs genitals but keeping the boobs on girls thing. But instead of weird squishy eggs, people would actually have leathery snake eggs and there’d be tons of commercial products for calcium deficiency and egg candelling would be huge as well as egg painting like Easter for baby pics. And if the egg was unwanted there’d be less protest because it’s just an egg. Children would be born smaller but more independent and milk isn’t hugely necessary but can be used to feed it.  And like egg cutting is a hugely debated topic. 7: What's the weirdest thing you've ever experienced, may it be just reading about it or experiencing it in the flesh? This is really hard for me because I honestly can’t think of anything that’s struck me as weird? 8: You can choose any world to go to from any book, movie, video, fanficion, etc, and the option to become the main character. Where would you go, and would you be involved in the main story, or just watching on the sidelines? THIS ONE IS SO HARD Because like partially there’s Naruto but also there’s X-men but like also I’d want to be some kind of animal hybrid so probably something like that (furry trash). But I’m also writing a story right now that is very magical so of course I’d want to be in that world. And probably be a side character involved in the main story but like... not enough to die a tragic death xD. 9: What is one thing in this world you would get rid of if you knew it'd be erased from the entire history of the human race? Idk the crusades? Racism? Some kind of plague? Apart from terrible things that cause misery not much else. 11: You're in hell! One song is playing on repeat for eternity. What song it it? Anything by Pink Floyd probably, or Madonna.... 12: You get to create a entirely new species. Describe the name of them and what they look like. I’ve done tons of new species and none of them are particularly awe-inspiring because I just like to morph existing species around. Like giant rideable fennec foxes, or human/were-animal hybrid stuff. I don’t have anything aprticularily creative ^^;. 13: You're now allergic to EVERY animal except for one. Which animal is it? Jokes on you, I’m already allergic to most animals. But probably dogs because I own a dog. I’m not sure how I’d be allergic to snakes or fish so I’m not worried about those and cats... well that just sucks. 14: What's on your mind right now? Quitting my job, is my period leaking through right now? How much longer till life gets better, I really miss my characters that died with my old laptop and it’s art programs. I miss being creative. 15: Try and describe your closest friend in the silliest way possible. They are a precious giant jelly bean that somehow manages to out-awkward even me. (#SCRUBLORD) 16: You can stop doing one of the following-- Eating, Using the restroom, Sleeping-- without any consequences. What do you choose? Aaaah I wish I could choose all of them but probably sleeping, assuming that I can never feel tired from sleeping problems and I’m always at that “had a refreshing sleep” Health wise. 17: You have to live on a world famous landmark for the rest of your life. Which landmark would you live on/in? I don’t know many so my answers probably really boring but having a room in the Eifle Tower would be pretty cool I think. Unless you mean like have to live with what you got then probably a garden somewhere warm.... hanging gardens of Babylon.... 18: You can babysit 6 extremely poilte and kind kids for not very much money or one extremely rude and disrespectful child for a high amount of money for a week. Which do you choose? Six easy going kids for not much money, I really don’t mind watching kids if I have stuff to entertain them with, and it’s not worth it to deal with hellians. 19: You have to use one word in every sentence for the rest of your life. What word is it? But, I don’t feel like it would affect my speech too much. I use but a lot especially because one of my catch phrases is “Yea but no I-” 20: Go on a vacation forever or never leave your home town? Vacation forever, my home town sucks and I don’t have any reason to stay at all. 21: What would your character be described as in an upcoming anime? I don’t really understand this question, but like... probably depressed and or childish. 22: You get to redesign the whitehouse. Describe how your fabulous revisions would make it look? I can’t really think of anything I’d do to it. Probably make it a little more office like because they’re just politicians they don’t need offices that nice. 23: You're now inhabiting the body of the last person you talked to. Who is it, how how weirder out are you? It’s my husbands and I am not weirded out at all in fact it’s a god damn dream and my only hope would be he’s in my body and dear god it’d be fun. 24: Add a letter to the alphabet! What's its name and what does it look like? It looks like a cross between a cursive capital L and a infinity symbol and it would be called Lew and it would go right before M in the alphabet. 25: Weirdest fetish you've ever found out about and how? Inflation and as a horny teenager stumbling upon old ass Furaffinty and just being confused by everything but especially that. 26: Every mosquito drops dead and they are never found again or every wasp? As far as I’m aware mosqituoes are actually part of a food chain so probably wasps. Unless I’m wrong on both ends then probably still wasps cause they terrify me. 27: Fear you had when you were little that you grew out of? People in mascot costumes.... 28: The ability to make everyone listen to you when you want to say something or have no one notice you when you don't want them to? Make people listen to me probably, there’s not too often when I want people to not notice me at all. 29: What's your favorite meme? Puppers/Snoodles, or for some real meme quality probably the “your daughter calls me daddy too” one cause those always make me laugh no matter what. 30: Best surprise you've ever gotten? Probably my parents buying me the neruwear cat ears because I was legit shocked and surprised by it. I’m normally pretty good at guessing surprises otherwise. 31: Do you no longer listen to a song because it reminds you of someone you don't talk to anymore? Not really, I refuse to listen to gospel music because it reminds me of church and church people I guess. 32: Write a full paragraph about yourself without being negative (or just a sentence if you don't want to write a full paragraph!) I am really good at planning surprises and gifts for people and if I had money I know I would be very generous with it. I am learning to be compassionate and I’m so proud of how capable I am at some things. I also really like my eyes and I am so cute with snap chat filters. 33: Describe the most attractive person you've ever seen without mentioning their name. Ooh that’s hard because everybody is so pretty... Seriously there’s so many girls I can think of and my husband  is so attractive and looks like Ryan Reynolds and there’s so many different kinds of pretty like a guy in drive through was older but he had such a twinkle in eye and there was a girl I met on a dating website that her hair framed her face so perfectly and her eyes were so pretty  and my friend has the cutest little button nose that’s covered in freckles. This is way too hard! 35: You wake up tomorrow and end up having NO responsibilities to do, including work, school, cleaning, projects-- Nothing!-- As well as full access to an endless supply of money for an entire week. How do you spend it? Defiantely buy a sHIT ton of crafting supplies, buy some super nice presents for all my people that I love, pay off my debt and take a road trip! I would probably also buy some furniture for my bedroom as well so I could use my desk ads a desk and not a table. Maybe a lolita dress and some dread locks too. 36: Write a plot for a TV show that you would most definitely watch. Werewolf clan trying to get along with “pure bred” weredogs with lots of smart things happening where you have to re-watch the episodes to catch everything you missed. The main character would be “racist” until he met the love of his life and he turns from aggressive wild to a spokesperson and great help to a community of creatures acting as a detective/police/lawyer/mayor to them in the town mixed with humans. 37: If you had to choose between only wearing shorts and long sleeves or pants and a tank top for all of winter, what would you choose? (No coats allowed or other garments under or over the shorts or pants!) Pants and a tank top because that’s generally what I wear in winter. 38: One thing you'd love to wake up to? Being stuck cuddling in between my husband and my (future) wife and the only reason we woke up on this soft sunny morning was because the dogs jumped on the bed to cuddle and we can all just have breakfast and be all gentle kissy and playful romantic pancakes and waffles. 39: You can choose to learn one talent to master or choose many talents that you're somewhat okay at. Which do you choose? Definitely many talents I’m okay at, my friends used to call me a jack of all trades all the time and I adore the name. 40: Favorite quote/saying? ”If you can’t explain it to a two year old you don’t understand it” or something like that. I also like a lot of mushy love each other and encourage others to grow stuff. 41: You say one sentence to go down in history and be remembered years after you pass, even centuries into the future. What's the sentence? ”Love each other and mind your own fucking business.” 42: Favorite video you've ever watched? I can’t really think of a favorite video but probably that one where it’s a golden retriever puppy that’s learning to howl with it’s owner and it’s like as old as youtube itself. 43: Type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight. ”Lol guys I totaly didn’t froget but my brothers frinds are here so we’re watching a mvoie XDXD!! TTYL” I don’t know if I was actually like that but I made tons of spelling mistakes and was very excited about everything! 44: You're a baby with a very deep voice. What would you say to startle everyone in the room with your very deep baby voice? ”I know what you’ve done...” 45: Funniest joke you've ever heard? I hate how absolute this list is because it’s so hard to pick the best of something. The only thing I can think of at all is that stupid humble honda Jesus “For I do not speak of my own Accord” joke. 46: Ever pulled a prank, and if you did-- What was it? Not really...I told my husband we were going to church for his birthday and he believed me right until I parked at the Toronto zoo’s parking lot. 47: You can be a human with fur or a dog with hair. Which do you choose? Human with fur because then I could make people brush me =w=. 48: In your own opinion, the weirdest advertisement you've seen? So many japanese ads come into mind... 49: Did you answer honestly to these questions? Yea I had a really hard time with most of them though. 50: Your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. For an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. What color do you choose? A soft Lilac with bluer high lights/lowlights. Unless it as to be real then blond because I like being blond and it’s easier to dye.