#the new manager doesn't want me working at home for the sole purpose that work isn't home

[poptartmochi]

online store era...2!

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Kind of a dumb request but how about team DEFY + any girls you want with an s/o who somehow managed to build a mech straight out of Armored Core? Insanely maneuverable, loads of guns, can fly, etc and s/o built it in a garage with a box of scraps lol

(GFL/Genshin Impact) Task Force DEFY, Amber, Jean, Fischl, and Yoimiya's S/O building an Armored Core Mech

(Video Source: Pongsifu on YT) Luckily for you, I have been binging Armored Core 6 for the past month, and will hop on ANY request to talk/write about anything Mecha related.

12 stared at the giant 10 meter mechanical behemoth that had suddenly made its home inside Griffin's Hangar.

(AK-12) "...We didn't always have that, right?"

The machine's chest slowly opened and revealed a cockpit containing S/O, waving hello from the seat.

Apparently, they had constructed the mech out of spare parts lying around.

(AK-12) "Impressive...But, why exactly did Griffin have that many parts lying around? And how did you find guns that big?"

On the battlefield, she watches the mech fly around at almost breakneck speed, watching them zip around and eradicate one base after the other.

Kicking tanks and shooting helicopters out of the sky, it was far more effective to watch them fight instead of having to do anything.

(AK-12) "Hm. We'll be out of a job at this rate."

94 knew this was going to happen.

T-Dolls would only last so long on the battlefield before they were replaced by the next best thing.

However, she sure as hell wasn't expecting S/O of all people to surpass her, with a mech constructed out of junk parts no less.

It was honestly awe-inspiring what humans could engineer for the sole purpose of destruction.

And it was also physically impossible. Something that size should not be quad-wielding miniguns and moving that fast.

(AN-94) "...How has your machine not collapsed from the Earth's gravity?"

94 is more confused than anything.

15 was impressed more than anything.

She knew S/O was an engineer, but to construct a mech out of the parts they had was nothing short of a miracle and logic-defying technical prowess.

(AK-15) "How does your machine constantly reload the missiles while on the field? It is the only weapon you seem to have, and no one constructed missiles that large, even during World War 3."

She can't help but wonder why DEFY was even needed if Griffin had engineers like S/O around.

Well, at least S/O was on their side.

(RPK-16) "I wonder if humanity will wipe itself out faster with these new machines."

16 is fascinated by the human desire to make machines to wipe out life faster.

Granted, Griffin usually just fought Sangvis which consisted nothing of machines, but it would only be a matter of time until everyone else had their own version of S/O's mech.

And probably not one constructed out of junk either.

(RPK-16) "I must ask, S/O. How can you be in the cockpit of that thing and not reduce yourself to jelly? Surely the G-Force alone would kill you?"

Well, it's not the first thing that humans have done that confused her.

(Angelia) "Hmph. Why did they even bother calling us if they had you here? And could you have done that this entire time?"

Angelia is impressed and annoyed.

If S/O could create a hulking machine of death before, why did they only decide to do it now?

She both dreads and admired S/O's tenacity. To make such an effective machine out of junk took a hell of a lot of elbow grease.

Angelia doesn't question it, seeing that it's working alright so far, but she definitely wants to look into upgrading it.

(Angelia) "S/O, with me. We're painting DEFY's logo on it."

(Amber) "THAT IS SO COOL!"

Amber could create Baron Bunnies with a lot of yarn, but S/O could make a machine that dwarfed Ruin Guards with some random pieces of metal!

(Amber) "You have got to teach me how to do that! And lemme ride it too!"

Amber demands to fly with S/O, even though she can't go nearly as fast as they can.

She watches as S/O wipes out entire nests of monsters before leaping away with its mantis-like legs to the next location.

Honestly, it made her feel jealous.

(Amber) "Heeey, can I ask one of those for my birthday! I bet it'll make flying around Mondstadt a breeze!"

Though as the outrider, she kindly asks S/O not to park the giant machine weighing presumably hundreds of tons in the city.

For obvious reasons.

The color on Jean's skin fades when she heard Klee helped S/O build a brand new toy.

One that put her bombs to shame.

And seeing it park itself next to the cathedral, waving hello to her as she was standing at the entrance-

She was about ready to faint.

(Jean) "S/O! Get down from there right this instant!"

Jean gives S/O and Klee an earful for making such an absolute monstrosity that could potentially damage the land and city!

But seeing it in action and fast it disposed of a Hilichurl camp, it filled her with pride and dread.

Pride for her S/O's creative ingenuity, but absolute fear for what S/O and Klee could make next.

Especially considering how fast S/O's machine moved, and the weapons it had.

Where did Klee find the gunpowder for quad-cannons mounted on it?!

(Jean) "I pray that it won't blow up the city on accident..."

(Fischl) "...WHAT?!"

Fischl completely breaks character upon seeing the giant machine staring at her.

(Fischl) "How did...Why...?! Get down from there and tell me how this mechanical monstrosity came to be!"

(Oz) "You just want to ride the machine yourself, Mein-"

(Fischl) "SILENCE!"

...But yes, she constantly nags S/O to let their Prinzessin give the machine a try.

She finds it so friggin' cool, and desperately wants one of her own, in purple!

She watches with some kind of morbid satisfaction watching S/O's machine wipe out their enemies in electrical explosions.

(Fischl) "I hereby dub your steel horse…Raven, of the 621th star!"

(Oz) "…Why 621?"

Oh, that's where all of Yoimiya's spare fireworks have been going into.

(Yoimiya) "HOLY CRAP! What on earth did you make, S/O?!"

The machine seemed like it leapt from another world!

Especially with how fast it moved, honestly she was amazed S/O wasn't vomiting their guts out as soon as they exited.

While it seemed like it would do massive damage, instead they used it for something even better.

As the machine soared above the skies of Inazuma, the cannons on the arms and shoulders fired toward the moon, the starry night exploding into hundreds of beautiful colors!

They had transformed their machine into a firework powerhouse!

And with how fast it moved, it was able to provide a show from one island to another!

(Yoimiya) "Next festival, you're letting me ride with you! I want to see the work we've done up close!"

[si1verghosts]

you and me found love (lost under the shade)

re4r leon s. kennedy x fem reader (no use of y/n)

wc: 3.3k

18+ | cw: mentions of drinking, smoking, sex | tw: illusions to suicidal thoughts; author's general preoccupation with death and dying

read on ao3

title: falling asleep on a stranger by pierce the veil | art: taft bridge under the rain [#127] by carmonamedina

a/n: i honestly don't know if i am doing this whole tagging thing right idk how to tag on here so sorry if i missed anything.... anyways, this is the first thing i've managed to finish in months - i did not imagine the first leon fic i'd actually post would be reader insert but here we are!! i hope u enjoy :D

not beta read - all mistakes my own or done purposely due to my general disrespect for the grammatical conventions of the english language.

i do not own leon, yadda yadda, please don't sue me <3

please do not use my work to train any sort of AI chat bot and/or writing generator.

-----

"I can't be what you want," Leon had said, voice even. "Maybe you should try to find someone else; someone who can… be around."

Someone who can give you a straight answer. Someone who doesn't come home bloodied and bruised and can't tell you why. Someone who doesn't make you feel like it's all just a lie. 

You had never heeded any of Leon's suggestions before - "You should go," he had whispered after that first night, and the second, and the third - but you wish you had; so you give it a shot now. 

You let your friend set you up with the guy in accounting at her job she had been telling you about for months. "And get this - he always wears a tie bar! He just seems so put together," she had raved to you over drinks the weekend prior.

Accounting, tie bar, put together. Nice, neat, safe. 

You had shrugged, "give him my number."

He's waiting for you outside the bar when you arrive, jogs over when he notices you approaching, holding his umbrella out over you. It's unnecessary - the cold precipitation is hardly a mist, barely coating the strands of your hair. "You look beautiful," he smiles. It feels rehearsed, platitudinous. You thank him, letting him guide you inside. 

His hand brushes your arm as he helps you out of your jacket, skin soft. You pull away with the shock of it, covering with a small wave of beckoning. He falls in behind you as you traverse the familiar path through the room to your usual spot, settling in before he can manage to make a show out of pulling out your chair.

Same table, different seat; back against the wall - it's a whole new perspective. No longer focused solely on the person across from you, it's as if the whole world falls into your line of sight. It suddenly makes sense why you always found it so difficult to hold on to Leon's attention.

He slinks away to acquire your requested vodka soda from the bar. You pick at your nails until your fingers shake, shifting to look out the windows. The rain has picked up, pelting the glass and obscuring the view. You long for your car and the pack of menthols tucked away in the glove box, nobody to quit for now. 

He returns with your drinks, water for himself - "trying to cut back on carbs, you know? I've been making real progress with my lifts lately." 

"That's great," you smile. 

He leans in, beginning to chatter away excitedly about weights and protein and bicycles and Wall Street. His cologne reeks of business school, of polo shirts and white picket fences and 2.5 kids. You hope you are nodding at all the right moments. His tie bar catches the light of the Budweiser sign hanging behind you, silver glinting red, as if informing you you aren't.

It's hard, much harder than it reasonably should be but you've forgotten how to do this. Leon and you hardly spoke; the silence was easier - until it grew violent from your overreliance. 

You catch the ring of the doorbell over the drone of his voice, a familiar shape of blonde hair and brown leather entering your peripheral vision. You turn, a sick sense of satisfaction slithering up your spine. 

Shoulders hunched and hands shoved deep in his pockets, he shakes off the water droplets clinging to his hair like a dog. He picks his head up, blue eyes and dark circles meet your gaze almost immediately.

You raise a brow, I took your advice; happy?

He spins around, setting the bell off again as he slips out the door. 

"I'm sorry," you interrupt your date, who had been entertaining himself, seemingly never even recognizing your shift in attention. "I'll be right back." 

You are out the door a second later, shoving your arms back into the coat you thankfully remembered to grab, shielding your skin from the rain clouding your vision. Blinking away the droplets from your lashes, you spot Leon making his way down the sidewalk and take off after him, catching up as he nears the corner. 

You call to him, voice near enough to stop him, but only for a moment. "Go back inside," he throws over his shoulder, continuing forward.

You want to reach out and grab him, make him turn to look at you, but his shoulders are set in a tense line. Your touch is sure to set him off like a slingshot. 

Steeling yourself, you dart around him, blocking his path. You find yourself in front of him without any idea of what to say. You gape at him stupidly, chest heaving from the exertion of chasing him down; maybe you should've asked what's-his-name for a good gym recommendation before you ran off.

Leon entertains you for a moment before he huffs, eyes narrowing, "what are you doing?"

It's an excellent question - one you had never bothered to stop and ask yourself. 

What are you doing? 

Why did you agree to go for drinks? Why had you put on the dress Leon had carefully unzipped and let pool around your ankles just a few weeks ago? Why had you asked Mr. Tie Bar to meet you at the bar you knew Leon always popped into after work? 

Fuck. 

You swallow harshly, "trying." 

"Trying?" Leon reiterates, almost laughing. "And what is it that you are trying?"

Normal. To get over you. To make you mad. Honesty. To make you look at me. To make you want me like I want you. Safety. To hurt you. To get you to say something, anything. Trust. To get you to make me stay. To get you to stay. 

You feel yourself frown, the familiar pressure of tears building behind your nose. You try to swallow the feeling but it just mixes with the venom stuck in your throat, bubbling back up after mutating into a bitter twinge of anger. "What the hell does it look like, Leon? You told me to try to find someone else - that's what I'm trying."

He rocks back on his heels, crossing his arms. "Well, it doesn't really seem to be working out, does it?" 

"It was going great, actually." You smile, hoping it's not as hollow as you feel. 

"Oh, yeah?" He cocks a brow, lips pulling into a sly smirk. "Then why are you out here with me?

"You," you huff, at a loss. His words seem to be coming easier than ever while you choke on every one. You shrug, "You looked upset when you left."

"And I'm sure that's exactly what you wanted, right?" His smirk stretches into an acetous grin. "Came to relish in the tears, huh? Sorry to disappoint." He moves to brush by you, but you plant yourself in his path once again. 

"I can't believe-" you start, but stop short. Because you can believe he'd think of you that way - you'd never given him a reason to think otherwise. 

You think back to the silence that had made its home between the two of you, realizing you had used it as a confidant, letting it absorb everything you should've given to Leon instead. 

"I just wanted to check on you, see how you are doing." Your voice comes out as small as you feel under the weight of Leon's gaze. It's ironic - all this time you just wanted him to look at you, and now you wish he'd turn his eyes anywhere else. 

He snorts, short and irascibly, "I don't need you worrying about me."

"I know you don't, Leon," you throw your hands out, rainwater flicking off your skin with your exasperation. "You've made that very clear. But I can't help it - I'm going to anyways." 

"You shouldn't."

"Why not?" You half-yell, half-whine. You cringe at the sound, feeling slightly delirious; freezing cold and nearly begging him to let you care. 

 "Because you can do better." His voice is even once again, feelings stacked neatly away and locked up tight. 

"You don't get to decide that for me," you spit, ears ringing with the echo of your too-loud voice. 

"Yeah," he nods. "I do." 

He steps around you again, intending to disappear down the side street. But this time you grab him, fingers latching onto the slippery leather of his jacket, his arm as tense as a bowstring under your grip. 

"Let me go," he requests without turning to look at you, voice still even, even, even. It's a courtesy, he could easily pull free - but you are sick of his kindness, his courtesies; that's how you ended up here. You don't want them anymore.

"Make me." 

"Let me go," he repeats, slower and thicker. 

"No." If you want me gone, you'll have to force me. You don't say it, but you know he got the message when his shoulders slump, fight draining out of him all at once. 

With the thrill of victory that ripples through you, you make the mistake of loosening your hold on his jacket. He seizes the opportunity, twisting your arm and grabbing you by the bicep, pulling you close. He is running hot despite the chill of the rain, you have to force yourself not to relax into his heat. 

A moment passes, and then another. Neither of you move. The precipitation falls in sheets around you. You can't bring yourself to care. 

Your gaze slides from his chest to his neck to his jaw, backtracking the path of a stray raindrop. You chance a glance at his eyes, finding they are already on you, steely blue shimmering with the light of the streetlamp behind you. 

You love him. 

You wish the ground would crack open, allowing you to freefall straight down to hell. You imagine that would feel better - less painful - than this. 

You love him, and your skin burns with the feeling of it. You want to throw up. You want to kiss him. You want to pound your fists against his chest, curse him for doing this to you. 

You settle for allowing a sob to escape your throat. 

He releases you from his hold instantly at the sound. You scramble to grip his jacket to keep yourself upright - it's pitiful, the teeth of the zipper biting into the skin of your hands. The sharp pain comes as a tether, gifting you the space to ground yourself, to shove the tears back down. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tight and clipped. "I didn't mean to-"

"No," you cut him off, voice rough, grating. "It wasn't. You didn't hurt me."

"Okay," he mutters. 

You laugh. You love him and you can't help but laugh, sinking into the insanity of it. 

You feel him start to stiffen again, unsure. The feeling of his discomfort building under your fingers forces you back into yourself, realizing where you are, that you've been causing a scene on the corner down the block from his apartment. 

You release him, but you don't step away, tilting your head just enough to take in the sight of him - parted lips and a handful of freckles, blonde hair tinted green by the neon sign over the entrance of the convenience store a few feet away. 

"I'm sorry," you croak out, drifting back; wishing the rain would melt you down, suck you into the storm drain. That's the only thing that could pull you from him, you think; swirling down the gutters with the cigarette butts and the fallen cherry blossoms until you're laid to rest at the bottom of the Potomac. 

His nose twitches. "For what?"

That I can't find someone else, can't force myself away from you.

That I love you, but can't tell you.  

"For," you throw your hands out, weaker than before. "All of it."

He nods, "It's okay."

You don't want it to be, but you suddenly feel exhausted. Too tired to fight, to pull any more truths from him. 

"Take me home?" You request, you plead. 

He nods again, holding his hand out to you. "Yeah."

You intertwine your fingers with his own, the roughness of his callouses and scars soothing in their familiarity. 

The walk to his place is short. You don't bother trying to shake off the water before entering, leaving a trail of raindrops up the stairwell, down the hall, through his front door, across his apartment to the tiled floor of his bathroom. 

He reaches into the shower, cranking the hot water, allowing the stream to heat up as he helps you out of your wet clothes. He removes the drenched fabric piece by piece - jacket first, then your dress, unzipping it with even more care than the previous time. It doesn't slip off with the same ease, but his gentle fingers pull it from your skin until it falls away. He crouches to undo your shoes, allowing you to step out of them before reaching up and rolling your nylons, guiding them down your legs. 

He moves to do the same with your underwear, fingers resting on the waistband as he glances up to you, silently asking your permission even though he already has it, always will. There's no heat behind his actions, but the tenderness sears your skin all the same. You nod, a low ache settling into the center of your chest as he slides them off you before standing. You unclasp your bra; he doesn't comment on the matching set.

The steam of the boiling shower envelops you as you undress him in turn. You struggle with his belt buckle, stiff fingers uncooperative. He takes over and you drop to your knees to untie the laces of his boots, finding them mercifully secured with single-knots. You make quick work of them and he reaches down to help you up, moving you out of the way before he kicks them off. 

You assist him in pulling his shirt over his head, peeling the cotton away from his skin. You unbutton his jeans as he removes the clips from your hair, wet strands falling limply in front of your eyes. 

"Go ahead and get in, I'll go throw this stuff in the wash." His voice is mellifluous, sickeningly soft. 

It makes you feel like a kid, incompetent and helpless. You hate him for it. You hate yourself for twisting his kindness into something dark and disgusting. 

"I can help," you offer, because that's all you can do; already leaning down to collect your things. "You have to hang the jacket, it's-"

"Wool. I know," his hand brushes your back lightly, "it's okay. I'll be right back."

You straighten up, allowing him to guide you across the bathroom and help you into the tub. You slowly ease your way under the hot stream as he slides the shower curtain closed. 

You watch the shape of him through the cloudy plastic, shucking off his jeans and pulling off his socks. The sobs you had just barely choked down twice before make another escape attempt, clawing at your throat as you watch his shadow collect your clothes and move down the hall. 

You shut your eyes against the sudden emptiness of the room, against the tears and the silence and the panic; against the loathing and inferiority. You take the coward's way out, turning away from it all to hold your face up to the showerhead. 

He returns quickly, rustling around for a moment before slipping into the tub behind you. His presence awards you the bravery you needed to crack open your eyes, to clear your throat. "You're wrong, you know."

Exhaustion overshadows his amusement as he hums in question, "about what?"

Picking your hand up, you reach out slowly to slide your fingers along his collarbone, circle the puckered scar on his shoulder. "That I can find someone better." 

He scoffs, dropping his head, hair fluttering down to obscure his face. 

You move your hand to his neck, thumbing his jaw. "If anything, it's me who doesn't deserve you, Leon." 

He shakes his head, but you ignore the action, continuing before he can protest. "Nobody can take care of me like you do - not even myself. I'm sorry" - for needing you, for burdening you; for loving you even though I'm unworthy of it - "for pushing you. I understand there are things you can't share, but I want whatever you can."

You sigh, shifting your hand at his neck to pull him to you; he follows you easily, achingly. "Even if it's just this." 

He nods minutely, hooking his arms over your hips and resting his forehead on yours. Answer delivered on a breath that floats across your lips, "alright." 

You remain in his arms, his agreement echoing in your mind in time with the beat of your heart in your chest. Seconds morph into minutes, only moving when the water begins to grow cold. 

You wash first, your shampoo and conditioner still on the rack next to his own. Leaving him under the stream, you make your way to his room after wrapping yourself in one of the towels he'd brought into the bathroom. 

Home. You had asked him to take you home and he brought you here, despite your own place being just a few blocks further in the opposite direction of his from the corner you had been on. But his assumption was right; this - he - was home to you.  

The emptiness of his apartment was unsettling at first, but it quickly grew comforting - no regrets staining the carpet; no photos on the dresser of you as a girl you don't remember being. Here you could be untethered from the past you didn't want; white walls graciously offering a clean slate, even if you didn't deserve it, didn't earn it. 

There is a shirt of his waiting on the bed for you, a pair of your pajama pants in the drawer next to his. Your stomach turns at the sight - no wonder he had tried to push you away; you had subconsciously settled into his space, his closet and his bed. 

Your mug in the sink, your pills behind the mirror - the reckless domesticity of it all is startling, terrifying. He had given you an inch and you had taken a mile, too eager for the chance to be something new. 

You pull on the clothes, making your way towards the balcony, a wave of nausea rolling through you under the soft cotton. Outside, it's still raining, translucent ropes sluicing off the overhang of the roof. 

You almost immediately regret stepping outside, feeling as if it's a betrayal of the care Leon took to get you warm; but you needed it. The chill of the air forces your thoughts to line up, to wait to be addressed one by one.

His hand leading you home, your wool coat hung to dry, his shirt waiting on the bed for you to occupy - each act a silent invitation; the realization stirs inside you, grips your collarbones from the inside. 

Could it be…?

You should ask him, but you've asked for more than enough tonight. 

He slides open the glass door, sweatpants low on his hips; the lamp on his nightstand illuminates him from behind, feathering out all his sharp edges. Maybe it's not love; maybe it's just lust, desire - a need so great it's all-consuming. You have no point of comparison to use as a frame of reference, to assist in finding the distinction. 

"I was away for a few days, there's not much in the fridge. Is ramen alright or do you want to order something?" He asks and it's love, you are suddenly sure of it. 

You turn; the sight of Leon in the buttery glow of the bedroom acting as a beacon, guiding you through the terror. "Ramen is fine."

[imdoingsortagay]

Ooooo a valentine's day celebration? Would you be willing to write reader x Claire where Claire can't miss work so reader offers to join her for the day and Claire doesn't realize it's for the sole purpose of being a terrible tease? And maybe have it end in smut? (Preferably at the office because getting Claire into a headspace where she stops worrying about getting caught would be SUPER rewarding all on its own.)

Adventures at the campaign office

a/n: claire brain rot for the mf win

warnings: Smut

word count: 3.1 k words

This was the second Valentine's day when you and Claire were going to spend it together watching movies, baking some of her favorite red velvet cookies, and having the best sex on earth. You were not surprised and a bit disappointed when she told you that she couldn’t take the day off to spend it with you because she had to work on some essential office matters related to her senate campaign.

“ Can’t you just have Barkley deal with it Babe? I don’t think she’ll mind you taking the day off to get - 

“ I love you y/n but that woman knows way too much about our sex life at this point,” Claire groans as she gets herself another cup of coffee. She had tried hard to convince her campaign manager to give her the day off. Still, even after the shouting between the two of them and a PowerPoint presentation, there was no use in trying to get out of this when the race was starting to get closer to the opponent.

“ Says the one who can’t drink too much or else you get super drunk and ramble to her about how you like when i-” 

“ Okay okay I fucking get it you tease,” she pauses while you smile at her defeat,” What are you gonna do at home while I go to work, honey? “ 

“ I do not know Claire bear, might go by Peg's apartment and pick up some of the new toys she got us, thank her with cookies along with her favorite, stop by your office to get you lunch from that new brunch place, the day is still very young I guess”. 

“ What time did you want to come to the office? I have one meeting today and the rest of it is just paperwork,” Claire says casually while her mind says differently. While having you at the office brought the older woman happiness, she know that you had a habit of teasing her when you got way too bored just watching her and she needed to finish getting a couple of papers to one of the staffers before they took the week off. 

“ Probably around 11 am but i can come later once your meeting finishes honey, wouldn’t want to make you nervous leaving me all by myself in your office,” you giggle, thinking about teasing her at the office. Might as well make the most of the visit later while she works. 

“ y/n baby,” Claire starts,” I’ll text you when you can come to the office but think of doing anything that might get in trouble today, Barkley is already stressed out about a whole new group of interns so having you be a little tease wouldn’t be good energy to bring in. 

‘ Claire bear, i promise not to tease you if you're busy in the office” you cross your heart in front of her and she rolls her eyes at your dorkiness,” but please bring snacks to eat today, and don’t worry your pretty little head about lunch so I’ll get you some. You smile the moment you compliment Claire, never failing to blush when you praise/ compliment her about literally anything at all. 

Claire collects all of her belongings in her tote bag, gets her cup of coffee, and before she makes her way out of the house, kisses you on the cheek before you are left alone in the house. While you start with cleaning the house before even starting to bake, Claire tries not to stress out about having you in the office. Having you visit her at her job was a common thing before you both dated but the thought of Barkley telling you anything about being there. 

Baby<3: Have a good day at work my Claire Bear 

*hours later*

After running around doing some errands, picking up some stuff, and getting something to eat for your girlfriend, you park at the office. Feeling a bit nervous as Claire is a big fan of privacy and the thought of being caught having sex scares the fuck out of her so you had to think closely about teasing her. What you wore was pretty simple, just one of her favorite sweaters, jeans that show off your legs perfectly also giving your butt a bit of a lift, and a simple pair of shoes compared to everyone else in the office. 

“ Wasn’t expecting to see you here y/l/n? Are you here to come to distract Debella or make sure she focuses on what I asked her to do?” Jen asks you with a cup of coffee in her hand and always putting on her best “badass “ face per usual.

“ Promise to make her do her work Barkley but I’m just here to make sure she feeds herself and does not overwork herself like some people I know,” you respond before walking to Claire’s office. If there was one thing that Barkley appreciated about you is being able to joke around with her, especially being able to come up with witty remarks. 

Claire was just about done writing all of these candidate questions when she hears her office door open up to see you walk in, looking stunning as always and with a bag of food in your hand. 

“ Want me to lock the door baby?” You ask casually to her which makes her give you a look but you put up the innocent front instead. Better to have her calm and cool than all suspicious of what you might be planning today while here at the office with her. 

“ And the reason would be?” she asks while waving her hand around

“ So we could eat lunch together in peace without any of your staff, interns, or Jen trying to come in and stress you out my love,” you kindly explain to her, your girlfriend giving you a quick thumbs up to lock the door and you close the blinds as well to ensure nobody can see what’s going on. Claire doesn’t notice the second part as she had gotten her hands on the sandwich that you bought her. 

“ How many times do I always tell you to eat more stuff at breakfast besides coffee and a muffin Claire?” you chuckle as she eats the lunch quickly and for the next hour, Claire is getting most of what she was tasked to do done. Being told to focus by you when her mind dozes off to think about something related to her life, seeing you lay down on the couch or needing more decorations in the office. 

As you lay down on the couch reading a book, your phone rings to a message from Barkley and what’s surprising is that it’s a positive one from her. 

Jenny Poo: Maybe we should have you be at the office if she finishes her work at this rate

y/n: Welcome Barkley <3

“ Claire bear?” Do you ask? 

“ Yes honey?” she responds, writing the last question to the candidate form she was doing for one new station to use for an article. 

“ Do you mind if I take off my sweater? This office is just way too hot to be in it,” you say casually. 

“ sure thing honey,” she says to you and you get up from the couch to take off your sweater Claire chooses the right time to look up from her laptop and she tries her best not to drool at the sight of your arms. Always being proud of keeping your upper body in tip-top shape and overall being a tease to your girlfriend with it. Claire starts to feel her mind drift to other places at the thought of you doing things to her, in this office especially. 

“ Claire you doing okay? maybe you should take a break with me on the couch from working so hard on the campaign sweet one,” you say to her but she just looks at you with big eyes, unsure as to what to do. 

“ Sure uh year, a break could do me good,” she says for you to hear and she gets up from her chair to come and lay down with you. Nothing is going to happen between the two of you in this office today, she repeats in her mind.

“ My baby deserves to take a nap after working so hard to be elected, once this is over i just know you’ll beat the other man without a fight” you praise her while she lays on top of you. Claire tries her very best not to drift into sleep, reminding herself that naps are not allowed and that if she wanted to sleep she could at least wait until she got to her place to do so. Though that’s proving hard to do with the way you're gently petting her hair with one hand and rubbing circles on her back with the other one. 

“ Don’t want to nap baby, please,” She quietly pleads.

“ Be a good girl for me dove and nap, I know that you need at least a powernap to go through the other half of the day my sweet dove,” you plead, and a couple of minutes later, Claire is fast asleep on your lap, looking as pretty as always in slumber while you try to come up with a further plan as to tease her. 

Claire wakes up 30 minutes later, feeling good before slowly making her way off your body, leaving you to continue napping on the couch. She makes her way to her desk to answer some emails, and check out some designs for her mailers being used soon while she peeks at your sleeping body every once in a while and smiles at the fact that you didn’t succeed 

She smiles proudly at herself for not falling for your tricks when she hears you mumbling, right when she was about to win at this teasing game too. 

“ mmmmmmmm pretty claire bear,” you say to yourself in your sleep and she tries not to imagine what horny dream is going on in your mind. 

She had known from the start of your relationship about your sleep talking, assuring you that you had nothing to be embarrassed about but from time to time she’s had to deal with your wet dreams, and most of the time they were about herself in rather sticky situations. One that you told her was about Claire riding your strap, eating her out in the office, threeway with her and some famous actress that Claire was a huge fan of and the list can go on. Now all she hoped was that it was just a cute dream and not a horny one.

“ boobs look, nice baby,” you say and she feels herself getting soaked, hoping that she doesn’t have to change her underwear by the end of the day. For the next 20 minutes, Claire is in hell as you continue to mumble some very dirty things that make her blush but she’s saved by the universe when your alarm goes off on your phone, probably being the nap one you set up. 

“ Oh,’ you say,” How long was i asleep for baby?” 

Claire continues to write like she isn’t soaking wet right now, trying to pull off a brave face while you wonder what happened during the time you napped. 

“ Claire bear,” you say as you make your way to her,” If I ask you a question, i know that my sweet dove knows than to ignore what her daddy asks her”.She continues to ignore you, acting like you’re not in the office but once she feels you move her chair a bit to sit on her lap, is when she knows that it’s not going to go well for her. 

“ Princess,” you say as you hold her chin up so she has to make eye contact with you,” Stop acting dumb and use that pretty brain of yours to answer daddy’s question: How long was i asleep for?”. 

“ About 50 minutes or so,” she mumbles,” i had a 30-minute nap through daddy like you wanted me to”. At that moment, Claire hopes that just that will get her off her case and she can go back to work. 

“ Why are you so flustered princess? Something must have happened to make you act out for daddy and you know how much i hate having to punish you? Remember to be honest”.

“ You were mumbling some stuff in your sleep that made me all wet and I was trying to act like it didn’t affect me at the moment, daddy,” she says to you and at that moment you smile at your baby for being honest. It would have been fun to punish her in the office, Claire would have had such a hard time trying to be quiet and Jen didn’t mention these walls being soundproof in any way. 

“ Should daddy help her baby out a bit? For being such a good girl?” Claire nods. 

“ Please daddy!!! I’ve been your good girl”.

“ Since you asked so nicely-” and you were cut off by Claire kissing you, her lips always being so soft on yours. At that moment she doesn’t care that anyone in the office can hear her going on with her, the only priority at the moment is to feel your mouth on her wet cunt. 

“ Someone is wet,” you comment as you move away from her lips and start to go lower down her body, remembering to gently remove her shirt before being greeted by Claire wearing one of her pretty bras for work. She doesn’t say anything at all when you push the cups down to expose her tits, nipples hardening right away to the cold air in the office but you start to suck on her right nipple, giving her other nipple attention too. Enjoying all the little whines and moans that are coming out of the older woman’s mouth as she holds off from enjoying this being that she’s about to be fucked in her office. 

“ Should I go lower Princess? Or should Daddy wait til we get home so you can scream all you want ?” you ask your girlfriend nicely as you position herself between her legs. At that moment, Claire loses any sort of thought when she sees her between her legs, mind going crazy at the thought of you eating her out in such a professional place but she doesn’t think that she can wait about 2 more hours to get fucked by you. 

“C'mon princess,” you taunt,” Just answer daddy’s simple question and i can make you feel good now or you can wait like a good princess.” 

Claire quickly lifts herself from the chair so you can take off her pants and panties, swiftly taking them off of her and placing them to the side of her. Before your girlfriend even tries to beg, you immediately l start to lick at her wet cunt, moaning in delight at the taste of her every time that you can.

“ Fuck I love your mouth Daddy,” Claire moans out before covering her mouth, shoving her fingers in her mouth to somewhat try to muffle out any sounds threatening to come out of her. She was always a loud person during sex and you never shy  away from telling her how fucking hot she sounds moaning and whining, boosting her confidence so much. 

“ My Slutty little princess,” You moan as your mouth leaves her wet cunt, “ gonna get you ready with my fingers sweet dove, you deserve to be fucked til you can only think about my cock”. Claire shudders as she feels two fingers slowly go into her cunt, thankful for her wetness, waiting for her to be comfortable before moving her fingers in and out of her pussy. Observing how hot Claire looks gripping her chair. 

“ Can we move to the couch please?” Claire pleads,” Want you on top”. 

Never the one to deny your sweet dove, you take your fingers out of her cunt, helping claire get off the chair before guiding her to the couch and placing her in your lap before continuing to finger her cunt. 

While both of you are going at it, Jen Barkley is in her office trying her very best to wait for the email with the second set of candidate questions that she needed Debella to do before the end of the day. Jen does try her best to respect Claire but she was worried about having you in the office in fear of distracting her from her work, having learned from past experience with Knope and Wyatt, who never seemed to think when they fuck in the office and having to drink heavily a couple of nights to forget the sight of it.

“ Guess i gotta check up on her,” she mumbles to herself, getting the spare key to the office in case she can’t get in because it's good to be prepared. Of course, when the woman gets to the door, it’s locked and the blinds are closed so she can’t see what’s going on but she can hear noises of some sort. Being an impatient person, Jen unlocks the door and then proceeds to come in the office and it is greeted by the both of you going at it, Claire on top of you completely nude on the couch while she’s getting fingered by you.

“ What the fuck do you want now Barkley? Can’t you see me and my Claire bear are busy?” you say, picking up the pace as you finger your girlfriend while her muffled moans get louder. In a rare moment, you try to hold in your laughter as the tough strong woman that Jen is, has no witty comeback or snarky remark to say, only focusing on the way your fingers look amazing in Claire's cunt, wishing she can feel the same way ( mostly from the lack of sex she’s gotten). 

“Uhm,” she stutters” the email thing, claire needs to send it before-” 

“ She’s got it done honey i’ll send it after we’re done,” you say,” Now can you leave the office, Barkley, i wanna fuck my pretty girlfriend”. Jen says nothing else before quickly walking out of the office, locking it beforehand then making her way back to her office and calling one of her situationships to set something up. 

“ Ready for my cock sweet princess?” you ask, Claire, nodding and getting into position as you put on the harness and strap on before fucking her in the office, happy to have decided to visit her at the office today.

[miqoquest]

Season Two Ahki: The Adventurer

(Uh, this was done by my friend Raiko who has way more filters than I do. Bless.)

I've been reworking my character for a bit because she felt a little lost and I was brand new to the lore and the game so there was some inconsistencies with her backstory and themes. So this post is solely for me to map out a course of where I want Ahki to go. Honestly, I really highly suggest roleplayers do this with their characters to help tighten their focus. Sometimes venue and social RP, while fun, can make your character feel a bit "lost" so it's always good to keep little stepping stones planned ahead for your character so that they always have goals and motivations and feel real and sound interesting and... You get it. This is not a complete fleshed out backstory of who Ahki is, just a roadmap.

Quick Changes and Retcons

I didn't have a tight idea on Ahki's family and witch coven. I originally thought I'd trace them back to the Mhachi as a descendant splinter group. The Halloween Events hint at these groups existing. But, it just ended up being really convoluted so instead of the Mhachi, I switched the coven to be part of the Lambs of Dalamud which better compliments the Black Shroud and Keeper of the Moon lore.

By roleplaying, Ahki managed to find a mentor to teach her Shugendo which is why she has the robes and all. It turned her into a weeb, which was funny, but I'm scaling that back to fit her more original concept as a Cottagecore, Cute Shroud Witch. The mentorship isn't going away, the roleplay isn't going away, what she learned isn't going away. Ahki will just begin to apply and mesh those philosophies with her witchy skills she grew up with.

I want a proper witch look for Ahki. I don't quite have the glam for that yet. I also don't think she's earned it yet. She's going to ditch the Shugenja robes and opt in for a more casual, humbled and down-to-earth adventurer look for now.

Were Season One Ahki's goals completed?

Escape the Shroud from her Evil Family. Yes.

Get stronger to one day come back to her home and save her family from the evil voidsent pacts that curse them. In Progress.

Find friends and family and find a stable, healthy foundation to learn and grow??? Yes.

This was one of the reasons why playing her was starting to feel a bit lost on me. Her goals were vague because it was a starting point, I was brand new to the game, I didn't know the lore, I didn't know anybody. So I kept it very simple. Now that I have found more structure and have made those friends and RP connections, its time that Ahki have a mind of her own and have her own goals. She doesn't need to lean on people for help anymore. While she still preparing to save her family, she has that foundation to support herself now.

She...

...Is learning Shugendo and other Eastern disciplines to get a better understanding of magic and the world around her. She's not completely devoted to Shugendo, but her faith has been expanded and she has a more powerful connection to the spirits around her.

...Moved to the Mist in Limsa Lominsa to work for the Dalmascan Adventurer's Guild, Babylon. She lives there, has been gaining experience through guild leves, makes potions for adventurers, and has picked up a handful of handy skills.

Season Two Goals

Ahki needs to do more witchcraft and magic. I've been dropping the ball on this one. She just needs to be more witchy and druidy.

Ahki wants to learn more offensive techniques and learn how to fight to not only save her family in the future but to help her adventuring friends and defend the helpless! "I'm a healer, but..."

I want her to be helping out as an Adventurer a lot more. Before she was a little apathetic to wanting to go on adventures (she just wanted to save her family) but now she's grown used to it and has found that she has a bigger purpose in life.

Ahki should start a small business in potions?! A little side-hustle? This could make her a quest-giver and she can tell people to collect ingredients for her in the most hostile of territories.

I want her to defeat her evil family soon. There is a big "What Now?" moment once that goal is finished that should propel her into a more interesting character and that will bring us Season Three Ahki! (...Maybe Witch Ahki?)

Ahki in "season two" is still learning and honing her skills, but she's becoming more a capable and competent adventurer. I started roleplaying Ahki back in mid-February so that makes Ahki only 6 months old! Not bad. Maybe I'll check in 6 months from now and do this again and see where she's at.

[the-music-maniac]

You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?

A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.

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I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -

Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??

It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.

They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.

They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.

And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).

I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.

So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:

First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:

Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.

The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????

In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.

In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -

And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.

But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.

He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.

Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.

The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.

Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.

At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.

Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:

Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).

So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.

Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??

Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.

So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.

And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).

I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.

Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:

I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.

To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.

The face of a man confuzzled.

Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao). 

I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.

The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:

This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.

Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well.  And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.

I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be -  I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.

Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.

The closer age gap:

I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.

I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.

So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.

Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.

Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.

[minaslittleone]

The Sarahs as plant mums (AHS & Ratched)

Like many people I've become an avid plant mum over the course of the pandemic (much to the chagrin of those in my life who have to hear every time one of my babies sprouts a new leaf), which got me thinking - what kind of plant mum would each of the Sarahs be?

GIF: illuminated-blue

Billie-Dean Howard

Image: winterkindfotographie

Billie-Dean is much more partial to flowers than she is to caring for a whole plant. She is definitely the kind of person who always has fresh flowers in her home but also takes the time to trim and rearrange the bouquet as she places it in a vase, rather than merely unceremoniously compacting the existing arrangement into a vessel. She also definitely has a secret cut flower food recipe (passed down to her by the ghost of a Victorian housekeeper whom she met while filming a special of her show at a mansion in the UK) which keeps her cut flowers looking immaculate for a full week. If her schedule permits it, her favourite thing to do on a Sunday morning is to stroll the farmers markets and choose individual types of flowers and foliage to bring home and arrange herself from scratch. She finds the process of trimming each of the stems and finding the perfect position for each individual bloom incredibly cathartic.

Her favourite flowers are bright and cheerful. She is particularly drawn to things like tulips, gerberas and lillies, but finds softer more delicate blooms like carnations frustrating and overly dramatic, she definitely appreciates a bit of tenacity in her flowers. She also has no time for strongly scented blooms, and particularly despises the way roses seem to emit a sickly sweet odor after only a few days. Billie finds scents and perfumes in general to be quite cloying and overwhelming as smell is one of the ways she is often viscerally affected when she makes contact with ghosts. She unfortunately associates most strong smells with encounters and so sweet smelling blooms hold little appeal to her, she much prefers fresh neutral scents. The one exception is lavender which she does find soothing. After a particularly taxing week it is not uncommon for her usual bright cheerful blooms to be replaced by simple posies of lavender and rosemary as she recenters herself.

Lana Winters

Image: toms-cacti

Lana is undoubtedly a plant serial killer. Which is totally unsurprising since whenever she gets fixated on a new story she often forgets to feed herself, let alone feed and water her plants. That doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate them though. She loves the way little office plants bring life and vitality to her workspace, that is until they inevitably whither and die from lack of water, or from being burried under piles of paper but that doesn't stop her trying.

Eventually Lana discovers that she and succulents are well suited. It actually makes a lot of sense when she thinks about it - they're both a little prickly on the outside (but only to protect the softness underneath) and both are stubborn to a fault. Lana is particularly fond of the slightly larger cactus she keeps on her desk (which is incidentally the first plant she managed not to kill) and often finds herself talking to him to help work through the flow of her ideas or to overcome writer's block. Spike (as she creatively named him) really is a very good listener and a talented editor to boot.

Still there are times when Lana wishes she had a greener thumb and could expand her collection beyond succulents. As much as she loves Spike and his prickly friends, she really wishes they would grow just a bit quicker so she could experience that new leaf joy even just once. She completely dissuades herself of those feelings though when she returns from a week long book tour to find a weird bump on the top of Spike. Her first thought is that after all this time she's finally managed to kill him and that she really is as terrible a plant parent as she had feared. However, those fears completely dissolved the following morning when she returned to her office to find that Spike's bump had begun to open into the beginnings of a beautiful pink flower. For a minute she could only stare on disbelief, not quite comprehending what was going on however, that quickly gave way to a giddy childlike grin when she realised that she must be doing something right. That, and her little man really did look very cute with his flower top hat.

Cordelia Goode

Image: chickadeegreen

Cordelia doesn't just have a green thumb, she has ten green fingers. She absolutely adores plants and having living things around her, especially since the greenhouse has always been her place of peace and sanctuary. She finds it incredibly cathartic pottering around the greenhouse when she gets a few spare moments away from all her duties as supreme/headmistress/mother to a house full of girls. Most of the plants she keeps in the greenhouse are solely for practical/ medicinal purposes but she does keep a few plants in her room and office which she finds soothing. She is particularly fond of philodendrons and pothos with their easy going nature and relaxed growth pattern. She loves the way they seem to make themselves at home anywhere and every time she spots new leaves unfurling it makes her smile. She tries to make an effort to see the beauty in their imperfections and use them to remind herself that everything doesn't always have to be perfect.

Since her supremacy the plants in her personal spaces have thrived unlike anything anyone has ever seen, seemingly feeding off Cordelia's magical aura. Any time any of the plants in the greenhouse are waning she will take them to her office for a few days of rehabilitation after which they will always be positively bursting with life. It is not uncommon for her to find new additions appearing in her little infirmary if Mallory or Misty have noticed that a particular plant is in need of a little TLC.

The flip side to this is that any time Cordelia over taxes herself, while she may be an expert at schooling her features and hiding it from her girls, it will show in her plants. After too many late nights dealing with running the academy or too many days spent funneling all of her energy into everyone around her (and subsequently completely neglecting herself) the plants in her office (and room) will start to lose their vibrancy as well. The first victim is usually the heartleaf philodendron on Cordelia's office bookshelf (the first plant she allowed herself to bring into the space after ascending to the supremacy) which seems to be particularly attune to her moods, especially when it is feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy sapping her magic. Conversely it's the monstera deliciosa in the corner of her office that seems to be the first to wilt when its physical stress or exhaustion plaguing the supreme. Zoe now automatically takes stock of the plants in Cordelia's office every time she enters, knowing it's the only true indication she's likely to get that the supreme herself might be in need of some TLC.

Bette and Dot Tattler

Image: geopsych

Bette has always been drawn to flowers, she thinks they're terribly romantic. From bouquets of flowers from gentleman callers to sweet cottage gardens behind white picket fences, teeming with blooms of assorted colours, Bette thinks flowers are a beautiful symbol of normality. She desperately wants to have a garden or even a window box that she can tend to, however that particular desire is not entirely compatible with living in a trailer.

What she does have though is a small collection of African Violets sitting on their kitchen windowsill. They were a present from Jimmy after Bette's first performance singing in the freakshow. Though she might be completely tone deaf she is fiercely determined, so after months of practice she had finally managed to learn "dream a little dream of me" enough to hold the tune (with Dot gently humming it alongside her to keep her in pitch). A few days before Bette was due to perform Jimmy had quietly pressed a note into Dot's palm after dinner asking which type of flowers Bette preferred so that he could get her a bouquet for her first performance. Dot's heart warmed at that, seeing the man that she loved so tenderly care for her sister. Later that evening she had pressed a note back in reply that Bette loved anything pink, cheerful and romantic, however she also ached for flowers the she could keep beyond the length of time a bouquet would last. So maybe a flowering plant would be better. Jimmy of course bought both, handing Bette a beautiful posie of assorted pink coloured carnations along with a terracotta pot of African Violets. Bette had thrown her arm around Jimmy's neck and squeeled with excitement at the sight of her flowers while Dot had offered him the warmest, proudest smile as she mouthed "thank you" against the backdrop of her sister's excited ramblings.

Given how long Bette had pined for flowers and how excited she had been to receive them it is unsurprising that she is a devoted plant parent. She waters her flowers once a week like clockwork, adding water to a saucer underneath the pot and letting them drink the water up through their roots just like Paul had shown her. Apparently African Violets don't like to get their leaves wet. Bette would even go as far as to take her flowers out for some sun if she felt the conditions on their windowsill weren't right at their current campsite. Her little pot of flowers really did bring her so much joy.

Dot may not have shared her sister's passion for flowers (finding them mostly to be needless and frivolous) but in the end she was the one who responsible for the expansion of her sister's flower garden. When Paul had originally shown Bette how to care for her flowers he had also mentioned that they could be propagated which had fascinated Dot. The idea you could just take a leaf and it would grow roots and become a completely new plant was amazing to her. But convincing Bette to let her try it out for herself definitely proved to be battle. Bette certainly wasn't keen on allowing her sister to chop into her precious flowers while Dot couldn't see why her sister was being so protective, the little plant certainly had plenty of leaves to spare, especially if it could give a whole new plant. Unsurprisingly the disagreement escalated to a pair of very raised voices which is what ultimately drew Jimmy into the argument. After managing to calm down both sisters Jimmy revealed to Bette that the tiny pot plant had originally been her sister's idea because she knew how much she wanted to have flowers of her own. Dot confirmed that she does know how important the flowers are to Bette and that she would never want to hurt them, she was just excited at the possibility of being to make more of them for her sister and be able to give her the windowsill full of flowers that she had always dreamed of. Bette couldn't help but relent after that. A few months later and Dot has become quite the propagation expert, to the point where their windowsill is beggining to fill up with juvenile plants as well as fresh cuttings just beginning to take root. Bette smiles every time they catch her eye, not just at the beauty of the flowers that she spent so long pining for but also for how they symbolise her sister's love for her. While they may still bicker bitterly from time to time, Bette knows that no one will ever love her as much or as fiercely as her sister does. Dot still has no real interest in the flowers themselves. She does still find propagating rewarding, especially watching her little babies start to grow and flourish. But mostly she just enjoys watching the way they make her sister smile.

Sally McKenna

Image: jeremiahsplants

Sally is obsessed with carnivorous plants and you can't convince me otherwise. She definitely discovered them on Instagram and loves all the funny shapes and crazy colours that they come in. Sally would never be content with a plant that looks like a plant - no her plants need to look like vicious little aliens. The fact that they're natural born killers is also a nice little bonus. She loves how they subvert the natural order of things - insects should eat plants not the other way around.

When she first discovered plants online Sally got really upset that she'd never be able to go out and buy any of her own. It was Iris who mentioned that maybe she would be able to order some online - big mistake. Sally is nothing if not obsessive and her room now rivals Poison Ivy's lair with the number of plants she has crammed in there. The sheer number of babies in her collection doesn't mean that she neglects them though, no Sally is absolutely an A level obsessive plant mum - only the best for her babies. When she discovered that carnivorous plants prefer distilled water to tap water she started ordering it by the gallon, and as the best lit positions in her room started to fill up she definitely ordered grow lights so that none of her babies suffer. The grow lights also give off a slight purple glow which makes her room look like a rave which is absolutely a feature and not a bug.

Sally has also been known to go hunting for food for her babies, especially since her collection has grown and she worries there isn't enough to go around. Iris and Liz frequently find her collecting dead flies from window ledges to take back to her growing brood. She offers them to her babies with tweezers as a mother bird would to her chicks. The last time Iris had an exterminator spray the Cortez Sally accused her of trying to murder her babies with poison and absolutely ordered fruit flies online (intended for feeding pet reptiles rather than pet plants but meh) to keep her collection going until she could be absolutely sure that the offending toxins had dissipated.

It goes without saying that Sally has a separate plant Instagram account which she updates on nearly a daily basis with photos of new growth or just progress on her collection. She definitely has a great eye for plant photography and for making her babies come to life on the screen. One of her favourite things to do is film feeding videos with her largest Venus Flytrap "Fang" (who incidentally has his own Instagram account: @Fangstagram). Watching plants move so quickly will never get old to Sally and she has definitely been known to tease some of her smaller flytraps into snapping shut just for her enjoyment. She tries not tease them too much though, they are her babies after all.

Audrey Tindall

Image: savannahs-succulent-garden

Like Lana, Audrey is another serial plant killer, but for complete different reasons. Audrey, bless her, kills her plants with far too much kindness (and water). She so desperately wants a house full of the beautiful lush plants she sees all over Instagram so she tries her darnedest to be the best plant parent ever. Her problem is that every time she sees leaves starting to yellow or wilt she assumes it must be from lack of water (rather than the fact that their roots are already rotting from far too much).

Initially she fell into the trap of picking up plants she thought looked cute on Instagram or in the garden centre, without really knowing much about caring for them. Needless to say this didn't end well (multiple times). She thought she had cracked it when discovered the subset of house plants refered to as "hard to kill". Unfortunately, most of those plants are very resistant to neglect but not to Audrey's smothering type of plant parenting. Finally she discovered peace lillies which do actually like to have wet feet and appreciate all of her affection. She's slowly collecting other spathiphyllums in all shapes and sizes now that she's feels confident she's got the hang of them. She gets so excited every time one of them grows a new leaf or flowers - such a proud plant mum.

Now that she's growing a little more confident with at least a subset of house plants she will occasionally post photos to her Instagram. She's still pretty insecure about her plant parent abilities though and it doesn't help that she will occasionally get haters telling her she's doing it all completely wrong. She tries not to let them get to her but sometimes they really do get her down - all she wanted to do was share the joy that her plant babies bring her and she's doing her best to do right by them. After one particularly brutal bout of trolling it's actually Sally who defends her. Audrey has been following Sally's plantstagram since she first started getting interested in plants so the fact that Sally even acknowledged her kinda blows her mind. Sally tells people in no uncertain terms to back off Audrey or she will set her carnivorous babies on them. The two strike up a fast friendship after this and through Sally's guidance Audrey eventually begins to grow more confident as a plant mum. For her birthday Sally definitely sends Audrey her first baby Venus Flytrap with the absolute insistence that it be named "Audrey II".

Ally Mayfair-Richards

Image: swordsintheforest

Ally has never really seen the appeal of house plants nor does she have the time (or the headspace) to look after them. She does however have a fully stocked herb garden growing in window boxes in the kitchen to have everything within easy reach for cooking. She also loves the fresh clean smell of the basil and rosemary wafting through the house on the breeze if she leaves the windows open, particularly if it has rained. She may even admit that she's beginning to see the appeal of having the greenery around the place from an aesthetic standpoint as well.

Given how busy Ally is juggling being a senator, running a restaurant and being a single mum (plus whatever wink wink nudge nudge cult stuff she's up to on the side) it's not really surprising that it's Ozzie who's taken to caring for the herb garden most of the time. He's always been such an inquisitive kid and Ally loves watching the way his face lights up over simple things like flowers and new growth. Ozzie is particularly obsessed with propagation and there is always at least a handfull of his experiments on the windowsill. Whether it's an avocado seed he's trying to get to sprout or basil cuttings he's trying to root, he always has some new scheme in the works. Ally usually just smiles and ruffles his hair (so proud and glad that she has such an amazing and we'll rounded kid after everything that he's been through). As long as he leaves her enough basil to make pesto with, she's happy for him to play to his heart's content.

Wilhemina Venable

Image: leafyleafs

Plants have never been of any interest to Wilhemina, she considers them to be unnecessary sources of dirt and clutter. They serve no practical purpose so she has no time for them. At least until she becomes the somewhat unwilling recipient of one. As far as office secret Santa presents go, she supposes, the lilac coloured orchid is actually quite inoffensive. However she can't shake the feeling that it must have been bought for her as some kind of challenge, that someone at Kineros is secretly watching to see how quickly she will kill it because someone like the imperious Ms Venable is obviously incapable of the kindness or tenderness necessary to keep something as beautiful and delicate as an orchid. What she doesn't know is that it was actually from Mutt, because while he is usually too coked out of his mind to show it, he is actually quite fond of her. And he knows her well enough to know that she would never accept a gift from him directly so each Christmas he rigs the office Secret Santa to get her name so he can her something (and also partly because he doesn't trust some of the interns not to get her something crude on a dare given the anonymous nature of the gift). He also knows her well enough to realise that she would appreciate the elegant beauty (and obviously the colour) of the orchid but would never cede to the frivolity of buying something like it for herself.

Despite the good intentions of the gift, Wilhemina can not fathom the idea that it was genuinely meant for her enjoyment. Obviously someone is toying with her but she will not be beaten. Wilhemina Venable may not know the first thing about orchids but she will be damned if whoever gave her the wretched thing manages to get a laugh out of it at her expense. So she learns. Mina is nothing if not fiercely independent and resourceful so she scours the internet for information on orchid care and reads everything she can find. And of course she succeeds (because anything else would be unacceptable to her).

After six months her little orchid is still alive and thriving in her office and privately she would have to admit that she has grown quite attached to it. Compared to other plants she finds it to be quite neat and tidy, and there is something elegant and refined about its arching growth habit which she finds quite beautiful. Over the course of her research she has of course come across the tremendous variety of orchids available. She of course is drawn to all of the different tones of purple blooms but also finds herself unexpectedly drawn to some of the darker, more gothic varieties. She tries to tell herself that it is merely an aesthetic appreciation, that they hold no actual allure to her, but she keeps finding herself drawn back to them. She almost buys herself one on *so many* occasions but the idea of doing something so frivolous just for her own pleasure and enjoyment is so terrifying to her that she always chickens out. Eventually she caves though, buying an indigo coloured orchid on sale at the grocery store, abruptly rushing home with it before she can change her mind again. She spends the entire rest of the day second guessing the decision but the next morning when she opens her eyes to the delicate purple blooms tenderly placed on her night stand she can't help the gentle smile it brings to her face or the warmth that settles in her chest.

After that her collection slowly grows. She still struggles with buying things for herself simply for pleasure but she is getting better, and the sick guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach seems to appear less and less each time she does it. So her collection of orchids grows, mostly including those with particularly dark blooms or interesting and unusual shapes (though there are definitely a couple of lilac and lavender coloured blooms in there as well). She also begins to expand to other dark leaved plants as well, like certain begonias and definitely a ZZ raven. Like with the orchids, all of her new acquisitions are thoroughly researched and she is determined to succeed in their care.

Mutt will sometimes catch her glance fondly at her little desk orchid as he passes her office. He is genuinely glad to have given her something that seems to bring her such contentment. If only he knew the true extent of the gift he had given her.

Mildred Ratched

Image: bidoctor

Mildred has no idea about plants of any kind. Or at least she didn't before Gwen. Her childhood certainly wasn't filled with simple pleasures like planting flowers or playing in a vegetable patch, and any indoor plants or flower arrangements were merely things she was forbidden to touch and harshly punished if she damaged. So inevitably these things inspired a far greater degree of anxiety and tension in Mildred than they did joy or contentment.

But Gwen loves gardening. She had memories as a young child of helping her father in their backyard, returning of an evening covered in mud, much to her mother's dismay. Gwen's strong nurturing nature made her a very capable gardener and she derived a great sense of contentment from it. On some level Mildred wished she could help Gwen as she pottered through their garden of a weekend but she wouldn't have a clue where to start. In fact, the nasty voice in Mildred's head whispered, she would be so much better off without you, you'll just ruin everything, you're far too useless to be of any help. So as Gwen worked Mildred would watch, pretending to pay attention to her novel but really trying to find the pattern and reason to Gwen's actions so that maybe, someday, she wouldn't be quite so useless.

Mildred did, however, enjoy accompanying Gwen to the nursery when she went to collect supplies for their garden. Mildred may not have the faintest idea what any of the plants were called or how to care for them but she did find it peaceful to walk through the rows upon rows of different shades of green. She was continually fascinated by how many different shapes, sizes and colours they seemed to come in. Sometimes Gwen would catch her staring curiously at a particular plant but Mildred would always decline when Gwen offered that they could take it home with them.

One particular Saturday in spring Gwen found Mildred tenderly righting a small yellow marigold which had been knocked over by other nursery-goers as they riffled through the display to choose the brightest and most beautiful blooms. The poor little plant was somewhat lopsided and some of its leaves were slightly crushed from where it had lain, still there were the beginnings of golden yellow petals starting to peak from within the confines of its buds. Gwen watched as Mildred delicately unkinked the worst of the damaged leaves, fingers ghosting over the flowers that had yet to bloom. This time when Gwen suggested that they take the battered little plant home with them Mildred suddenly became very interested in a thread dangling from the cuff of her blouse as she muttered "Wouldn't it be easier to just choose one that isn't crushed? One without so much damage?". Gwen gently reached out, linking her pinkie with Mildred's, cursing that anything more would have been unacceptable in public. She gently squeezed Mildred's slender finger in her own until her gaze lifted to meet Gwendolyn's. "Never" she breathed. "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all". She felt her throat tighten and eyes begin to burn as she watched Mildred's eyes begin to glisten and that *damn* dimple on her chin begin to quiver. "I wouldn't have the faintest idea of how to look after it", Mildred's gaze dropping again to the poor bruised little plant. Gwen squeezed their intertwined fingers once more, coaxing Mildred's eyes to meet her own. "I can show you, if you'd like?" Mildred's teeth began to worry her bottom lip as she considered. "What if I can't? What if I kill it?" "Sweetheart, you won't and I'll be there with you every step of the way. We can do it together." Mildred seemed to consider this offer, turning back to gaze tenderly at their little friend, before meeting Gwen's eyes. "Ok" she murmured, "together".

After that, every time Mildred and Gwen returned to the nursery Mildred would inevitably leave with a battered looking plant that she was determined to rehabilitate. Gwen, true to her word, patiently guided Mildred through the basics of plant care and Mildred, unsurprisingly, quickly became very proficient. Her tiny, dextrous fingers, used to dealing with needles and surgical instruments, were incredibly adept at staking and repositioning bent and battered plants as she helped them to heal. Soon enough, one end of their porch became entirely dedicated to Mildred's patients, so much so that Gwen began affectionately referring to it as Mildred's ward. And in spite of her initial fears Mildred had become quite the proficient gardener, with her little rag-tag bunch of plants, all twisted and pointing in slightly odd directions, forming the most beautiful and beloved garden Gwendolyn had ever seen.

[tailorvizsla]

You didn't think I wouldn't ask for some Boba Fett though now did you? (Of course not, he is the new shiny for me iuwhei) ✨ HC Of my Choice... What about having your first kiss with Boba and he doesn't #know it is your first one till part-way through or after? Am I projecting? Yes, yes I am.

Title: HC – Boba Fett and First Kiss Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Boba Fett Word Count: ~1700 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Boba Fett is a grumpy bastard, but you hold your own against him. Boba also gets injured, but there aren’t any graphic descriptions of the injuries. Author’s Notes: Okay, my Angle, I’ve been thinking about this one for as long as it’s been sitting in my inbox. I’m not familiar with Boba Fett’s character, so I wanted to make sure this was good for you. So, without further ado, here we go with the Big Green Grumpy Jerk who has somehow inexplicably charmed his way into my heart with a few gruff comments.

Tagging @princessbatears because chaos? :>

📚 My Master List 📚

Boba Fett isn’t a man of many words. It’s not that he’s shy or anything – he just doesn’t like talking to people beyond what is necessary. He has worked alone his entire life, so the sound of others’ voices just sort of grates on him. He especially does not like being crowded by people.

So, one day, while doing his thing, he ends up injured. It’s not even due to combat. His jetpack just…sputters out. His beskar’gam turns what should have been a fatal fall into a very painful one. He knows he has broken a lot of bones, but Boba refuses to die like this. He crawls his way back to his bike, calls for medical aid, and prays to the Maker that someone in town will come help him.

You are the only person who does come to help him. Most other people are too afraid of the Imperial remnants to work with a Mandalorian. Others are too afraid of Mandalorians to work with a Mandalorian. You? You are not afraid of much. He is not sure if you are brave or stupid. After splinting the worst of the damage, you get him onto the bike and get him back into town. It is at this point that Boba finds himself leaning toward thinking you are stupidly caring and trusting.

You inject him with bacta – the good kind that makes him giggly, sleepy, and numb – and get to work. When he wakes up, he’s wrapped in an annoying number of casts and splints, but at least he’s still alive. However, you then give him the bad news: the fall has damaged many of the delicate nerves in his back. If he fails to undergo physical therapy, there is a real chance he may never walk again. He’s no medical expert, but when he looks at the scans you took, he knows you aren’t lying.

So, Boba resigns himself to having to deal with you on a regular basis. The first physical therapy exercises are simple, yet they exhaust him to the point where he just passes out. As the days go by, he starts putting up the walls to keep you out. (Spoiler alert: you manage to find your way through the cracks in the wall, annoying him with barely any effort on your behalf.)

Now, under ideal circumstances, this shitshow would end with Boba Fett getting back on his feet, paying you handsomely for the amount of time you have spent getting him put together, and going back to bounty hunting, never to think of you again. But of course, the universe throws an even bigger wrench into his carefully thought-out plans. Someone finds out that you’re taking care of him and a whole bunch of angry townspeople converge on your little clinic. He grabs you and the two of you run. The last thing you see is your clinic going up in flames. (Boba can’t believe the shortsightedness of these people – they’ve driven off their only competent medical professional. What are they going to do next? Kill their only competent mechanic? Di���kute, every last one of them.)

And so, the two of you go off on a merry adventure, annoying the absolute shit out of each other on a regular basis. Boba especially is concerned at how easily you have managed to find every single weak point in his defenses – physical, mental, and emotional. You are a fair shot with your blaster, so when he got fresh with you that one time, telling you that your ass looked downright edible in the trousers you had borrowed from him, you drew your blaster and fired a shot off at his feet. He laughed so hard his bucket nearly fell off. (You are not sure if you are disturbed that he finds being shot at amusing. He does scold you a bit, but you do notice that he does not talk about your ass anymore.)

With your knife? You’re lethal, and he learns that the hard way when he fails to announce his presence behind you. One moment Boba is reaching to touch your shoulder and the next moment, he’s got your elbow in his face and your penknife embedded in his flak vest. Fortunately, the blade’s too short to cause serious damage, but he does not let you forget that you kriffing stabbed him when he was only trying to ask you what you wanted for dinner.

Even though Boba would rather cover himself in tiingilar sauce and crawl back into the sarlacc pit headfirst than ever admit it, the two of you make a damn good team. He goes off to hunt bounties, you stay in town to provide your medical services for a fair fee. Sometimes, when your services are not needed, you’ll hang back at the ship and do some basic accounting to keep him within his budget.

Boba grumbles when you ask to accompany him on a hunt, but he figures you really do need to learn how to defend yourself if anything should happen to him. When the two of you were surrounded by goons, you naturally fell into place behind him, your back to his, covering his shebs while he provides the heavy firepower. When the numbers are thinned to something more manageable, he sets you loose on them, letting you practice your knife skills. And by the Maker, he is impressed with how much you have improved since the last time you stabbed him.

Between hunts, you get his shebs back into fighting shape. Hell, he thinks he’s even better than he was before. The exercises you insist on forcing on him have made him more flexible than he was before, and his bones no longer creak first thing in the morning. One particularly hot, muggy day, you try to make him drink that vile green vegetable concoction you call a smoothie. Smooth his shebs, there are chunks in that liquefied animal feed. Sometimes he wonders if you’re trying to kill him on purpose.

(You don’t know this, but Boba has already arranged for everything in his possession, ships and banking accounts included, to be transferred to you in the event of his death. Hell, he has even started negotiating with a friendly Tribe to make sure you have a home to go to and your pick of their warriors for marriage, should you be interested. Boba justifies it this way: the last time his jetpack mutinied, he ended up several hundred thousand credits in debt to you by his estimation. By ensuring you have a safe place to go, and a family ready to welcome you, he can offset the immeasurable debt he owes you. It hurts to think of this, but Boba genuinely cannot bear the thought of you being alone in this cruel galaxy, the same way he had been when he was a child. So, if he ever does piss you off to the point where you off him in his sleep, you’ll be fine.)

You keep pushing and pushing, insisting that he needs B-vitamins or some other bantha-shit he’s sure you’ve made up for the sole purpose of annoying him. When you start going on about macronutrients and essential vitamins, Boba loses it. He tosses his cutlery down and goes stomping off toward the cockpit. You follow him, blathering on and on about the last blood panel you had pulled – HDLs, LDLs, and a whole slew of acronyms later, he loses it. Rather than snap at you, he shuts you up the only way his poor sleep-deprived brain can come up with.

Boba pushes you up against the wall, gently to avoid hurting you. You don’t seem at all phased. In fact, you start waving the paper at him as you try to draw his attention to his sodium levels. Boba leans in and presses his lips to yours. You finally stop talking, your entire body going stiff in response. He takes a moment to nibble along your lower lip before parting your lips with his, tongue probing a bit deeper in, and you still aren’t responding. Boba draws back and stares down at you. You’re wide-eyed and clearly in shock.

He leans in again. This time you respond clumsily, your hands clutching at that stupid piece of paper. He gently wrestles it out of your grasp and crumples it up. Then he tosses it over his shoulder, not caring where it lands. He cups the back of your head and deepens the kiss. Still, you’re not responding the way he wants, so he draws back.

“What, never been kissed before?” he asks.

Before he can say anything else, he realizes that that was your first kiss. While Boba has never wanted to be anyone’s First Anything, he realizes that he wants to make an exception for you. There’s no one in this entire galaxy who can annoy the shit out of him in one breath and then worry about his health in the next. You are his little baar’ur. After you have wormed your way under his plating and so selfishly made yourself a fixture in his life without his permission? Oh, no, no, you are not going anywhere.

He cuts off your stammering with another kiss. He takes this one slow, moving your hands to where he wants you to touch him – one at his nape, the other at the small of his back, right over that spot that makes his knees weak.

This time, you respond. Slowly, hesitantly, but as you grow more confident, your hands begin to stray. You worm your fingers up the back of his shirt and dig your nails into the sensitive skin there, making him gasp in pleasure. Then you dig your fingers into his long hair and tug lightly, earning a low growl from him. You freeze and stare up at him with wide eyes until he leans back in.

Fortunately, your big smart science brain learns his likes and dislikes very quickly. When he finally pulls away, he finds that he really likes what he sees – your shirt’s rumpled, your hair is sticking up, and your lips are red and swollen from his kisses. Then and there, he makes a vow to make sure you always look like a mess.

(Spoiler alert: quite a few more of your firsts happen right here in the cockpit.)

[lovelybigjellyfish]

Medusa and the blind girl

The whole cave shuddered in remorse with the emptiness, the crippling solitude of the stone figures. Covered with the spider webs and insects, warming up the lovely decorations of her home. The queen sitting in the throne alone with no one to rule over, but the endless hordes of stone frozen in fear. Visitors rarely come by, but whenever they came, she tends to them personally for always it's a queens job to be hospitable.

Poor visitors that never leave once greeted by her majesty. Without ringing the bell, nor wiping their shoes on the mat, what ill-mannered souls, but the lovely queen doesn't discriminate. Wearing her most extravagant dress, with her hair flowing and hissing happily. Those sea-green beautiful eyes shining brightly, enhancing all her features.

"Welcome my dear guests", she greeted. All she got in response was screaming and disgust from those dishonorable souls, weak fragile humans. So weak yet their actions are the only thing able to hurt the queen deeply, as their faces filled with fear and anguish at the sight of her eyes, her hair and just her in all her glory. The bodies slowly petrifying into stone statues to add to her lonely furniture.

More faces that remind her, of her sad lonely life as the spiders cob their webs on the new statutes trying to hide their face to soothe their queen just a little. A beautiful necklace laced with their still web flowed on to her neck so ironically majestic. As the snakes slithered in melancholy.

"Umm is a-anyone there?", a frail voice echoed in the empty room of statues.

A weak dirty girl in rags and chains on the ground still sitting in her knees scraped and bleeding. The queen scared to see another face scream, ran to her throne room. A lonely abode yet away from all those reminders of her sole purpose in life to be lonely, to be companionless. The spiders still amazed at the girl in taters, they prepared a bed with their finest silk, softer than the roses of Athena's garden. A tray of assorted delicacies fancied by her majesty and escorted to a stream of water by the faithful lizards.

The scorpions so freely unlocked her shackles as the girl not scared of all the anomalies thanked them all with the kindest most sweetest Melody.

Taking off her clothes in the stream of water heated by the lava rocks fallen from Hades's tantrums, a Melody echoing around the caves. Till they knocked at the Queen's door, so soothing, Bewitched by the voice, the queen awoke from her crumbled abode. Peeking through the hole in the roof above the stream, a sight so beautiful yet so normal.

A poor girl, filled with wounds dirty and torn, disgusting and not even a face to boast, but just that elegance that kept on knocking the queen out of her shoes. Why is she still here, she taunted her servants, who all but one cowered in fear?

"Oh my queen, my dear lonely queen this girl is one not like the others, she feared not our touch nor holds a grudge. All the visitors had never, stayed so long, but this girl has been coming along.", The queen curiously observed the girl, as the servant spoke. Her hand clutched her chest and let out a frightful roar. The serpents on her head hissed with red eyes as she jumped down below in front of the girl splashing the water all around.

"You little miscreant", she screamed at the poor girl, who had suddenly lost all composure in fear, but wait there was something different this fear was not against the queen, but fear of overstepping her bounds.

"Oh my lords, please don't hurt this filthy servant, I overstepped my bounds I repent please forgive me for this atrocity", she pleaded while begging the queen, who was in shock. The girls back layout exposed and the make of a slave engraved deep till her bones. The queen shook as she calmed down and informed the poor raggedy girl that her captors were no more, and she was free now.

The girl still begging, the queen still stuck on the question of why? Just why is she not turning into stone?

Like a hit of fear from the last treacheries she had faced, her face boiled as she had to know, is she being deceived.

"Do you know who I am, little human!!!", She spoke with her strongest voice, "I am Medusa the queen of this land, the ruler of the serpents, you dare lie to me!!!".

As Medusa reached for the girl and grabbed her face, she looked her straight in the eye, her hissing hair, slithering slowly around her head.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't know, I-I cannot see y-your highness", she explained as Medusa Expression shifted from anger to confusion, as the grey dead eyes stared into her eyes, without fear, without hatred those beautiful eyes that seemingly dead had more life than every statue in her fortress.

*Drip* *drip* the queen snapped back to her senses as the grey eyes filled with tears looked at her, Medusa's eyes all the more aware saw all the wounds and scars on that little feeble human. For the first time in forever, Medusa was incapable of being hospitable.

"All my servants, heed the call of your queen!!! Take care of my guest and tend to her wounds at once", she ordered.

The girl still begging for her life, opened her eyes wider as if she wanted to look at her, just look at that voice that for the first time scared her, yet still managed to make her feel warm. Shaking and tired she fell unconscious on to the white scaly arms of her majesty.

*Crack a dent on a stone was barely heard.*

The girl awoke in a beautifully decorated room with robes of the finest fabric, hair neatly tied and an entrancing scent lingering around. Fresh from her rest, the girl felt her surroundings and started to tear up. Her instinct to express her happiness and gratitude seeped in the form of a beautiful melody, that all the servants rushed to hear. The bewitching voice of this kindred soul, knocked on the Queen's door yet again as she appeared in front of her, dressed in a beautiful gown, and the finest lipstick in the land of the mortals. All to which she remembered on facing the girl was not needed.

"Oh, my humble queen is that you?", The poor girl spoke.

Medusa traced her hand through her hair, onto her face affirming her query. Never had she felt such a soft and delicate sensation of another person's skin. She humbly asked the girl's name, at which the girl suddenly went quiet.

"I'm sorry your highness, but I don't remember my name", she muttered. Disheartened, medusa grabbed her hand and helped her stand up.

"Call me Medusa please", The queen calmly exclaimed. The servants brought a stick for the blind girl, but Medusa hinted them to stop as she wanted to help her walk herself. Moving pass the rooms in the hall, in the great castle, another slight sound of stone cracking still left unheard. Sitting alone in the room, no one had touched the food as one was busy admiring the girl in front, and the other was busy feeling the sensation of a very warm hand that she had never felt before. The servants in the hallways rejoicing at the happy queen who had for once found a companion, a feeling she had never felt. All the scared statues in the castle were now all of a sudden unable to make the queen sad, for now, she had found a human worthy of looking at her and not cower into a statue of fear.

Hours passed by in the coped up room as the two talked and talked and talked till they were tired, and yet it was still not enough. Never have the two ever felt much happier than they did with each other. It was night time, and time to retire to their rooms as it was the girls' time to sleep and the Queen's time to work, the servants cannot get supplied themselves. Escorted to her room by her majesty the girl oh so very slightly leaned in for a kiss on the cheek of the dazzled queen. Now red all over, even the slithering hair, going away with her heart pounding hard. The girl lay down to sleep with a very warm smile.

"Goodnight", Medusa said with her hand still on her cheek.

"Goodnight my queen", replied the half-asleep tired maiden.

As the queen departed for her daily duty, the girl just remembered something, something she wishes to tell the queen next time she met. A giggling little girl slept soundly.

*Crack* *crack* a huge thud echoed as the sound alarmed everyone, the servants scared at the sight of the source, a huge spike from the ceiling, had slowly begun to crack. A figure woke up from the sound, walking slowly in the dark, just the sound of weeping servants was all that guided the figure. Running the figure stepped into a snake and got bitten, but that did not stop her from finding the source of that sound. A feeling was stuck in her chest that she wanted to rid herself of.

So dark as the figure finally reached the source and felt a warm touch as she trembled onto the ground with her hands grabbing everything they could. Her hands moving slowly from her hands to the Queen's weeping face, then down to her stomach, pierced by a spike. The girl began crying in sadness as she realized that her queen lay there on the ground bleeding, not uttering a word as the servants frozen still.

"Leave me and go, there's nothing that we can do now", the queen uttered as her mouth filled with blood. The girl still weeping grasped her closer, "you can't leave me like this my majesty, you were so kind to me, so loving I cannot lose you like this".

As the room went silent Medusa lay her head on the girls' lap as she talked to her to keep her from feeling pain. hand in hand, the girl asked the queen, "do you want to know my name, my queen".

The queen nodded while barely speaking," call me Medusa please".

The girl grasped her closer while holding her breath, "my name w-was h-hope".

As the queen smirked, the name eched into her heart.

As the silence grew even more Hope, gripped her tighter, and felt herself growing weaker, even the queen realized as both of them near the end of their lights, Medusa placed her hand on hopes face and hope pressed her forehead against Medusa's.

As the servants now left at the wish of the queen the empty room with the two souls in the center, slowly the hair on Medusa started to petrify as the girls' hands started to turn to stone as well.

The night reached it's prime as the moon shined down brightly through a hole, on the beautifully sad stone figure left in the middle of the room, with the monster no one could look at and the girl that was able to see nothing, but the monster.

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: How is it going? Savannah: I'm so proud of you for working at this with her, I just wanted you to know that Jac: 😖 ugh, THANK YOU 🙏 Jac: I'm really trying Jac: and she's being a LOT better today Jac: more like herself Jac: she still hasn't said what's really going on, but maybe she isn't even sure herself, you know? 😕 Jac: we'll get to the bottom of it Jac: how are you, honey? ❤ Savannah: 🙌🏾 I'm BEYOND happy for you both 🙌🏾 Savannah: Ty is being more like himself too, today must be fated Savannah: it's such a relief, isn't it? Jac: I am BEYOND glad Jac: I do not know what was in the water but we can both finally breathe out so that's the main thing Savannah: I know right?! I feel more centred than I have in forever Jac: It's nice not to be so stressed Jac: I had no idea the tension I was holding, honestly Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: I had an idea but there's been no time to give you a massage, we're always working Jac: and I love it Jac: but other people still demanding time we don't have now is like Jac: 😬 Savannah: ^^ so true Savannah: I feel like I constantly have to choose between Sienna & Ty Jac: Right? There's always someone to be let down Savannah: excuse me whilst I essentially tear myself in half & still manage to somehow hurt either of you more in the process Jac: 😔 Jac: Ty should really learn a little more self-sufficiency in this situation Jac: like Amelia Jac: Sienna, that's different Jac: but you two are in a partnership, that's meant to make things easier, not harder Savannah: it's my own fault, I love him so much that I can't help but make everything easier for him even if it means things are harder for me as a direct result Jac: he's still meant to return the favour Savannah: & he does, he just doesn't always realise exactly what I do need, which is my fault too Jac: I can't see that Jac: you're beyond communicative Jac: and when you're not, that means there's a problem Savannah: Honesty is important but so is maintaining the image he has of me, I cultivated it, I can't just let it go when it's not as effortless as it looks Jac: but you, actually you, are perfect Jac: if he didn't love you for all of you, he'd be just Jac: wrong Savannah: No I'm not Jac: Not like you have no flaws or can do no wrong Jac: but you're so caring and loving and you'll do anything for anyone, especially the people you care about Jac: and even at your lowest, you still try to keep positive, and see the way out and forward Jac: and when you do make mistakes, it's because of all of these things about you that are so amazing Savannah: You're perfect, I don't even know what to say or what response would come close Jac: I'm far from it Jac: I do things sometimes, just to be cruel because I feel bad Jac: I try not to but I still do Jac: and I don't look after anyone the way you do Savannah: you look after me Savannah: & Isabelle & Amelia Savannah: we all take so much from you & you never complain because you're too busy giving us more of you Savannah: that makes me feel bad Jac: You shouldn't feel bad, you give me so much back too Jac: when you're already stretched Jac: and it doesn't feel anything like work with you Jac: it's natural, easy Jac: but still worthwhile Savannah: It's the same for me, with you, everything else may feel like a demand on my time or a stressful obligation, but that's not how I feel about you Jac: that makes me happy to hear that Jac: I swear, other people didn't used to feel like this much work Savannah: I don't know why it's so different Savannah: why you're the only person who sees through who I have to be to who I actually am Jac: It's like Jac: I feel a million miles or years or lives ahead of everyone else but you Jac: it's not even arrogance I just Jac: they don't get it Savannah: ^^^^ Savannah: it's exhausting Jac: trying to be on their level, care about what they care about Jac: when there's so much more important things to be thinking or doing Jac: I'm really struggling Savannah: what can I do? Jac: See? 🥺 Jac: this is why I love you Jac: I just wanna be with you again, then we'll both feel better and like this world actually makes sense Savannah: where has she even taken you? I'll come & get you right now Jac: we hung out most of the day and just chilled but we've gone out for dinner, [a place] Savannah: okay, I'll be there once the bill hits the table Savannah: come out when you're ready Jac: Okay, that's not an issue, we're near mine, ish, so I didn't need a lift from her dad or anything Savannah: I'll wait for you at home then Jac: That's so cute Jac: imagine how perfect our Uni flat will be Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I'll make a start on my moodboard Jac: we can do a dream shop when I get back Savannah: oh my god, we have to Savannah: but I promise I'll FINALLY give you that massage too, because I have no doubt your goodbye with Amelia will be stressful Jac: At least she can't ask for a sleepover reasonably when it's Monday tomorrow Jac: because yeah Jac: I cannot when a massage is on offer 😍👼🏾 Savannah: I can though, can't I? Savannah: I don't ever want to leave you, but especially not to go back to my house Jac: Of course you can Jac: we'll be sensible so we can still get up in the morning Savannah: 👼🏾 I swear Jac: I trust you Jac: I got a new night-time tea, it's really relaxing, you'll ❤ it Savannah: that sounds amazing, I've been having the most intense dreams when I do sleep Jac: at least your brain is processing everything and storing it away Jac: even if that's exhausting Jac: you'll be having sweet dreams so soon Jac: but in the meantime, I'll do everything I can to help Savannah: this is literally the evidence that you're as caring & loving & positive as you believe I am Savannah: I don't even dream when I'm with Ty, which I used to think was a nice thing, because I felt so safe but now it just feels like I switch off when he doesn't need me Jac: oh 😔 I don't love that Savannah: It sounds horrible, I know Savannah: & it would kill him to hear me say so Jac: No, it's not horrible, it's how you feel Savannah: he hasn't given me any reason to feel like that though, it's my crazy Jac: not on purpose, I'm sure Savannah: What have you noticed? You can tell me Jac: Well, even if doesn't ask you to prioritize him and his happiness at all times Jac: he still lets you Jac: I'm sure he doesn't realize but it still happens Savannah: oh Jac: like, I'm not having a go at him, or you, because you know you do it and you know why Jac: but he really SHOULD be thinking more about it, you Savannah: of course Jac: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything Savannah: I asked for your perspective because I need it, you have nothing to apologise for Savannah: & you're right Savannah: I just don't know what to do about it Jac: I don't want to sound like THAT friend Jac: he's great, in lots of ways Jac: but I couldn't say I hadn't noticed, when I had, it would be a disservice to you both Jac: it needs to be brought to his attention somehow, but outright saying it would probably feel...cruel? Savannah: I understand & I totally trust in the kind of friend I know you are Jac: ❤❤ Jac: We will work this out Jac: but we need time to 💭 on it Savannah: We need a time out from it first, the last thing I want to do is bring your stress levels back up after you've finally had a break through with Amelia Savannah: I refuse to be THAT friend Jac: we don't need to think about it any more tonight Jac: we can just think about our future and how amazing it will be Savannah: thank god I still have the ability to look forward without my future solely depending upon him Jac: ^^ no matter what, we're never those kind of girls Savannah: 👏🏾🙌🏾 Jac: I've text my parents so they won't be shook to see you Jac: not that they are these days 🥰 Savannah: I'll pick them something up to thank them as well when I get your presents for you Jac: Presents? for me? Savannah: 🥰 surprises, yes Jac: you're the best surprise Jac: I didn't think we'd get to see each other today Savannah: I wasn't sure if we'd even get chance to talk properly Jac: I know Jac: and I hate that Jac: I worry about you when we can't keep in touch Savannah: I hate the idea of you worrying about me, but I feel the exact same way Savannah: I dread to think how awful I'll have done on my homework because I couldn't stop thinking about you Jac: you're too smart to ever mess up too bad Jac: but we can doublecheck 😋 Savannah: what your compliments do for my self worth they don't do for my concentration span, so whilst the offer to check my work is appreciated, I'm not sure how well it'd be received Savannah: unless I'm sitting there with my eyes closed & you're in silence Jac: I think I can manage stunned silence in your presence quite easily Jac: we can make it work Savannah: you really do have an answer for everything, I love that about you Jac: it's easy to be sure with you Savannah: I wish we could be together all the time, there wouldn't be any room for doubt for me then either Jac: so rude of my parents to overdo it with the kids 🙄 Savannah: so rude of my parents to exist if they were going to use that existence to destroy everything they built, including my faith, trust & sense of security Savannah: if they were better people you could just stay here Jac: I don't know how it doesn't break their hearts Jac: and make them change and be better Jac: because I can't 😢 Savannah: they'd have to heal from the heartbreak they inflicted upon each other first & they have a lot of work to do before that'll happen Savannah: my mother doesn't have anything left for me & my dad doesn't have anything to offer that I want Jac: So true Jac: inherited trauma is the hardest Jac: and I don't have an answer for that, I really, really wish I did Savannah: you are an answer to that Savannah: you make me feel like I did before any of this happened Jac: I'm going to take care of you Jac: and the you that's still that little girl Savannah: we used to be so close, me & my dad Savannah: I don't understand how he could do this Jac: Even if he didn't love your mum anymore, in the way he did before Jac: the way he's handled it all Savannah: I would literally move heaven & earth to make things work with Ty, do anything to avoid hurting him, under no illusion that we're unlikely to be together forever Savannah: he can't have ever loved her, me or Sienna Jac: He must have thought it would have hurt MORE to stay Jac: I'm not saying he's right, or it excuses it Savannah: maybe it would Jac: I just really think he does love you guys Jac: and that doesn't have to change how you think or feel about him, at all, and that's not why I would say it Jac: the situation is still the same Jac: but it's rare the intentions are that bad, people do what they think is right, or they do the wrong thing out of hurt, like your mum right now Savannah: I know you want that for me, for me to be loved, I love you for it Jac: You are loved, by lots of people Jac: me being the chief one, of course Savannah: I'm trying so hard to remind myself that he isn't his mistakes but I can't forgive them when his actions make me feel like I am one of said mistakes Savannah: & my mum reinforces that every time she can't bear to look at me Jac: I can't begin to imagine how hurtful that is Jac: and how much that must occupy your head, and how hard you must have to fight every day to not be consumed by those thoughts and feelings Jac: all I can and will continue to do is be here for you, whenever and in whatever capacity you need Savannah: all my life she's told me how beautiful I am, but now all that matters is how much I resemble him Savannah: what am I supposed to do? Jac: You're still beautiful Jac: and you're always going to look like him Jac: do you want to change your appearance? Savannah: No, but I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror again without feeling as awful as I do when my mum tells me to get out of her room Jac: just because she's the victim in her narrative with your dad Jac: doesn't mean she's not also capable of perpetuating unhealthy behaviour Jac: that isn't okay, to make you feel like that Savannah: I know, but she's incapable of having a conversation about it right now, medicated or not Jac: Does your aunt have any more luck with her? Jac: or can you vent to your aunt about her? Savannah: I can but that doesn't mean I feel comfortable doing it Jac: That makes sense Jac: there's always the uncertainty of where the information will end up, or if any judgment is silently being passed Savannah: ^^ Savannah: you're the only person I want to talk to Jac: we can stay up and talk Jac: School can be completed with one eye shut Jac: this is more important right now Savannah: we have to talk about you too, it's always me Jac: Okay, I can always call upon all my problems at any time Savannah: for instance, where is Jude going to be when we're having this deep & meaningful conversation? Jac: Cammie is at her mum's, Jude can take her bed Jac: I'll take the heat if Cam is mad about it Savannah: okay Jac: I'll make them share full-time and then you can move in Jac: sorted Savannah: & when I move in, I'll take the puppies to bed with us & take the blame if your parents are upset Jac: they can't talk Jac: they give it all that about training and rules and boundaries Jac: but there was always a dog in the bed when we used to sneak in in the morning as kids Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I can't wait to have a family like yours Jac: How many kids do you want? Jac: or more importantly, puppies? 😋 Savannah: More than 👶🏾👶🏾 obviously Savannah: & they'll each have their own 🐶 or 🐱 or both however many of them there are Jac: Aww, that's sweet Jac: I think two can be kind of perfect Jac: but they have to be the right two Savannah: so is that how many you want? Jac: I don't think much about that part of my future Jac: I don't know if I'd be a good parent Savannah: Well you have to, because who else are my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 going to be best friends with? Isabelle's children? I don't think so Jac: 😂😂 okay, fair point Jac: we cannot have that Savannah: & of course you're going to be 🧚🏻 godmother to them all because I can't trust anyone else if anything ever happened to me Jac: 🥺🥺 Jac: I will spoil them so hard, I promise Savannah: nobody else would be able to tell them what I'm really like, nobody knows me like you do Jac: You'll make me cry Jac: I don't wanna think about you ever not being here Jac: but I'd make sure they knew how much you loved them, and how incredible you were so they love you as much, always Savannah: I'll be with you forever, even if I do die first, because I love you that much too Jac: [don't actually cry in front of Amelia omg] Jac: I love you so much as well Jac: and we're paying up Jac: so I won't be long now 🙌 Savannah: that is perfect timing because I just arrived at your house Savannah: there was such a long queue in the shop Jac: So rude Jac: people are EXTRA with the Christmas shopping from like mid-october now Jac: thank god we aren't working retail Savannah: ^^^^^^^ Savannah: & this boy in front of me keep trying to flirt, it was so embarrassing Savannah: I have a boyfriend & I'm having a breakdown, excuse me Jac: The lack of awareness so many boys have is ALARMING Savannah: I almost wish I had started crying as he started speaking, he wouldn't have known where to look Jac: That would be kind of iconic Jac: but not worth the mascara Savannah: next time maybe, if I've gone makeup free Jac: or you could bring out some of the sign language I teach you Jac: it's very useful for that Savannah: 😄 true Savannah: are you going to teach me some more when you come home? Jac: We totally can Savannah: I'd like to Jac: why is it that whatever we do together, it's just the best time Jac: I'm really excited to see you Savannah: I know what you mean, I feel like a different person from who I was earlier Savannah: my mood has lifted purely because you'll be here soon Jac: It's the same for me, completely Jac: I'm so glad we found each other Savannah: I think your face looks perfect by the way, in that picture & always Jac: 😌😌 you're way too kind Savannah: my good deed is the gifts I've brought, how flawless you are is just what I genuinely believe Jac: thank goodness the walk back will give me time to cool down my 😳 Savannah: Oh no! I'll have to bring it back Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: is that a clue to my gifts? 🧐 Savannah: perhaps 😊 Jac: 🥰 Savannah: [sends her a pic of her snuggling all these dogs cos we've made ourselves at home hens but she'd never post it because she don't look perfect enough] Jac: Awwh! Jac: You're [insert dog's name here]'s favourite, you know Savannah: Oh my god, am I? She's my favourite too! Jac: Yep, fully endorse this lovestory Savannah: 🥰🤗 Savannah: Teen motherhood definitely wasn't part of my plan but for her, I'll make the necessary changes Jac: If anyone could actually work it, it would be you Savannah: I literally can't even joke about it because of the degree at which I'll be tempting fate & how vitally important it is to me that no 👶🏾 happen yet Jac: We won't speak that into existence 🤐 Jac: can you imagine Savannah: I can imagine exactly what my dad would say Jac: 🤐 need that about as much as you need the 👶🏾 Savannah: I refuse to put a single foot wrong for him to claim is a cry for his attention Jac: As if Jac: the ego, like, yes, I'm going to permanently change MY life so you pay me attention Savannah: I can't make it any clearer that I'm not interested, we haven't spoken since he left Jac: exactly Jac: he wants you to make mistakes so he can have a valid in and come back to berate you because he knows IF he wants to make that contact as things are now, it's HIM that will face the criticism, rightly so, but he doesn't want that Savannah: ^^^ Jac: and he's meant to be the grown-up Jac: 🙄 Savannah: at least, having not acted like one for a long time, I'm fully prepared for his behaviour instead of being shocked by it once I reach my own adulthood Jac: 🌥 Jac: the only one defined by his mistakes, will be him Jac: you're gonna be happy and thrive, none of this will stop you Savannah: of course, because I've got you 🌞💛 Jac: if anyone is sunshine, it's you Jac: I just gravitate towards you 🌻🌻 Savannah: I'm willing you into my orbit right now for sure, you must be freezing out there Jac: yes, it's pretty cold Jac: the fashionable coat is gonna have to be swapped for the more practical 😖😂 Savannah: my poor baby! I'll warm you up Jac: 😳😳 works too Jac: for now, whilst I fast walk because I can't run on this ice Savannah: Don't walk too fast! Savannah: even with all the experience Ty has given me, I can't attest to be some kind of physiotherapist Jac: I 🤞 Savannah: I'll stop talking to you until you're back safely 👼🏾 Jac: ❤❤❤

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

Does Confidence = Consequence?

Just last Tuesday, I was asking myself the same question when some geezer opened the door for me on my way into the dollar store. His comment was "Nice horns", sad enough it didn't end there. I had almost finished my shopping when he stepped in the same aisle as me making every petty, fake excuse to inch his way closer to me. He even used lines like "Whoops, passed the socks." and "Do I know you from some dating site?" Even in line, he kept trying to harass me, and then our idea popped into my mind. I looked him dead in the eye and said with a smile; "You do know I'm gay right?" I may receive a lot of hate for this escape routine, but it did manage to fend him off for a spell, that is until the lady in front of me said "Good job, I'll use that one!" He spun his head around and kept trying to make a move on me. Thankfully lady and her boyfriend in line behind me were generous enough to help. He stood blocking the aisle to ensure the man didn't lay a finger on me. I thanked them after we exited the store and hurried to my car. I know it's a bit of a topic to bring on an argument, but when your brain is in panic mode the craziest things slide into your brain and out of your mouth. I am enrolled in Aikido for self-defense purposes, but only one month of the class doesn't qualify me for defending myself just yet. Sensei says I'm too tense, but with time that'll fade. Honestly, I could've defended myself had it come down to it, but I indeed froze, and explaining that to him was a bit of a pill. He did however encourage me to work harder and remember how scared. He says that way I'll perform better in class and in real life. I guess I didn't help the situation any with my dress being short. I, like many, am not completely confident in my whole figure. I feel that my torso could use some work but the rest of me is great particularly my legs. This dress did show a lot of legs and made me feel confident until that point in the day where grandpa showed up. It covered my torso, and butt pretty well, but my legs looked especially good in it with a pair of low heels. I'm positively certain that hetero women like myself struggle with this issue, but I wonder if my people from all genders feel this way. Did you also use a really bad escape in a fight or flight incident?

Alexis: "I used a period excuse to get out of a bad date. Does that count?"

Michael: "A guy kept following me as I went shopping and I told him my boyfriend was waiting outside for me and pointed at a random guy. I'm asexual."

Jessie: "Sometimes, faking you have to go to the bathroom works. Just make sure it's one with people in it."

Kesley: "At bars, I get harassed a lot, I always order an 'angel shot'. That's a secret code that tips off the bartender and lets them know someone is bothering you."

Travis: "I've been harassed by girls before and it wasn't fun. She's a coworker of mine that doesn't take 'no' lightly. I told her I already had a date."

How sad is it that the things that make us feel confident can instantly turn into a bitter situation with the wrong people? All I showed were my legs, and that situation made me want to burn that dress to ash. Does being confident really come at a cost? Tuesday did show me that in some cases, it definitely does. The woman in front of me, who blew my cover, was a senior citizen. Her praising comment didn't aid me in any way but brought to my attention that people of her generation still get the same kind of treatment, which I'm sure is no different for younger generations either. On various social media platforms besides this one, I've noticed a challenge where someone says; "What would you do if all the men went away?" I've noticed lots of people classifying as female said similar things like going for a walk alone, wearing whatever they wanted, eating as much as they wanted without judgment, etc. They make many men sound like animals, and I'm starting to think they're not half wrong. This whole week I've noticed wandering eyes from various places outside the dollar store. The grocery store, restaurants, church, the pharmacy, the mall, even just strolling through the park. It feels like people are undressing me with their eyes. Nowhere is safe! Men are the carnivorous beasts and we are the main course. Just when I was starting to feel unsafe everywhere, I remembered the sole man aside from my father that didn't look at me that way, my best friend.

Now I know what you're thinking, having a male best friend means he's gay, or he secretly likes me. The answer is no. Most teen dramas or movies want you to think that a man and woman who are best friends are the two answers above or friends with benefits. We do go back since junior year of high school, where everyone called him gay and I was the sad emo chic. He asked me out to see the homecoming game since he was late to too many band practices, at the time no one wanted to date me and my older brother put him up to it. He did kind of like me at the time, I didn't know him aside from drama, so I gave him a chance. We had fun but decided we didn't see each other that way and have been friends since. All the other people we knew from school sort of left the two of us and since then we've grown protective of one another and have been in separate relationships when we can find them. In public, I call him my brother in front of pretty girls, so no one thinks we're a couple. In all my years I'd never imagined my best friend being a straight man. We take good care of the other and encourage them to get out and do things. Most of the time, he drags me on terrifying rollercoasters and I try to get him to eat new foods. What is it with men and eating nothing but meat and soda? We're out of town working a convention this weekend. Perhaps I should've slipped broccoli in his lunch so he'd never know.

That doesn't bother me nearly as much as seeing how lonely he is. He's never done anything to me and we have the movie marathons to prove it. But his last relationship went up in smoke when his girlfriend broke it off saying she didn't love him as much as she thought. She wanted to take a break from dating or something but started dating this other guy right away. After a few months, they were engaged and the wedding has been on hold since the fiasco of 2020. They're still friends and they hang out in a group nearly once a month, but every time he goes home he looks distraught. Why is it that the sweetest of people are given the least amount of love when the earlier mentioned jerks are getting all the action? In our case, we both decided we didn't see each other that way, but unless men are a bit of an asshole women don't want them. I don't know about you, but I'd like a man to open a door for me out of courtesy without comments like "Nice horns". Looking at my friend day-to-day reminded me that not all men are bad, but perhaps the hetero women aren't the best either. Maybe they're just as big of jerks as men are at times. It makes me wonder if men get uncomfortable with any comments from women? If confidence equals consequence on both sides, then everyone loses. If that was the case, perhaps we're all a little sheepish making us no different from anybody else, and that's pretty crazy. Much Love Your Way Darlings!