#the number of prisoners that would like someone just for being nice to them... they're so starved for love its sad

[waiting-on-a-dream]

𝙼𝙱𝚃𝙸, 𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚌𝚜!

𝙼𝙱𝚃𝙸

Ichiro: INTP (He's curious about the world, despite getting stuck in his own head and losing track of time often. He gets many ideas but forgets them just as easily. He doesn't care much for what people think about him, but goes along with the flow so nobody will be unhappy (he probably doesn't care about the topic either but that's besides the point). He's also really detached from his own emotions, and finds it hard to empathize with other people.)

Akane: ESFP (She's really focused on her surroundings and is often experiencing everything that's happening around her, never missing a single detail unlike Ichiro. She also has a good grasp of her emotions and has a strong moral code, hence why she's often so angry with other people who look away. However, knowing that she's angry doesn't help control her emotions that well. She doesn't like being a bad mood, but she doesn't know how to manage her feelings properly.)

Daisuke: ESTP (Like Akane, he also pays attention to his surroundings well. He's always up and about, flitting from one exciting activity to the next. He also likes to think about things in a logical way and doesn't care about the morality of what he's doing as much (his job, cough). However, he has FE as his third function, so he's not completely terrible at navigating social and emotional situations. In fact, he's quite good at utilizing his emotional manipulation.)

Suzume: INFJ (She has a bad habit of always having her head in the clouds and worrying about the future. She mostly gets by with life through her intuitive gut feeling, which hasn't failed her so far. She also wants everyone to get along and will sacrifice her thoughts and feelings in order to go with the majority, to the point where she might put on a mask for someone if they want her to act a certain way.)

Haku: ISTJ (He tends to relate his past experiences to present circumstances, where his memories are used as a frame of reference to build ideas about how the world is and how it works. Whatever has been established to work well, he'll keep going with that until another solution is required. He's reasonable and rational, but has enough emotional intelligence not to rub most people off the wrong way.)

Yui: ESFJ (Her decisions and opinions are heavily influenced by her interactions with other people, as well as cultural and societal norms. She's friendly, sensitive and empathetic, always willing to help other people whenever she can. She also tends to act and respond in patterned ways that have been proven to work in the past, not willing to step out of her comfort zone most of the time.)

Rin: ISFP (He's sensitive and very aware of his inner emotional state, having a bad habit of being self-centered and aloof often. He only does what seems right to him, and doesn't enjoy being told that he's "wrong". Like most teenagers, he's trying to form his own identity while still gaining approval from his peers (its hard to do both). He also pays a lot of attention to his surroundings, concentrating on living in the moment instead of planning ahead.)

Noa: INFP (She's sensitive and empathetic, unfortunately jaded and anxious from bad experiences in her past. She used to be an idealistic dreamer when she was younger, but she knows now that she was just naïve and unaware of the world. She's also speculative and creative. Her NE allows her to see patterns everywhere, jumping from one thought to another as each item reminds her of something else.)

Kiyoshi: ENFJ (Like Yui, he's friendly and helpful to everyone he meets. He feels a sense of responsibility over people in a humanitarian way, and often sacrifices his own thoughts and feelings to keep up the peace in a group setting. He makes sure to plan ahead in life, but ends up relying on his instincts to guide him more often than not. Its okay, his gut instincts rarely fail him!)

Mayumi: INTJ (She worries a lot about many things, always stuck in that chaotic head of hers. Even though she thinks so much, she finds it very hard to voice her thoughts in a way that others will understand. How frustrating. She might be anxious often, that doesn't necessarily make her an emotional wreck though. She's actually quite level-headed when the situation calls for it, making reasonable and rational judgements every time without fail.)

Haruto: ENTP (He has a speculative and creative intellect, seeing patterns and connections everywhere to make a bigger picture. Whether or not he chooses to share his vision is another thing. He also prefers to think about things objectively and logically, questioning many things he comes across. Like Daisuke, he's also perfectly capable of tapping into his emotional intelligence.)

𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖

Ichiro: 5w6 (sp/sx)

His self-preservation instinct manifests in his tendency of retreating into his head to think, hence why he's so detached from reality. He's hesitant to do something if he isn't sure how it'll go, leading him to observe life from a distance instead of participating in it. His six wing causes him to feel alone and incapable without outside support, and he wants to feel safe with the people that he trusts. But he's primarily a type 5, so despite wanting attention from the people that he likes, he ends up minimizing his needs to avoid having them think he's too needy.

His social instinct comes in second because of his natural curiosity towards the world, wanting to learn more despite being so detached from it. He also finds comfort in knowing the acceptable boundaries of how to act through "authority figures" such as: his mom, Haruto and the other adults in Milgram. Because they're supposed to know more than him, he automatically trusts most authority figures and what they tell him.

Akane: 6w5 (sx/sp)

Her sexual instincts manifest in her tendency to appear bold and fierce in order to protect herself from any threats. Sexual sixes have the mentality of "the best defense is a good offense", and Akane is no exception. Her constant anger isn't a façade per say, but it stems mostly from her fear of getting or being allowed to get hurt. She would also like to have someone to rely on, but that isn't her main priority. Her sexual 5 tendencies manifest in her distrust of people instead, constantly analyzing and testing them to find out if they're any threat to her. Her guard is always up.

She doesn't trust any authority around her (they've all failed her so far), but she can't help the small feeling of hope that they'll help her every time. They're the authorities, so they should care about her and want to help, right? Right? She also doesn't pay much attention to anyone she doesn't like, as they tend to make her angry and that isn't good for anyone. If someone can connect with her and/or hold a conversation with her without pissing her off though, she's surprisingly loyal once she gets attached.

Daisuke: 7w6 (sp/so)

His self-preservation instinct manifests in his characteristics of being practical, opportunistic, and good at networking. He likes the sense of banding together with trusted others in which he knows he'll be looked after. Its funny. He fears being completely reliant on others, yet wants to be able to rely on someone. His six wing further emphasizes his need for support. His morals are questionable, but he still seeks friendly connections and alliances. And to do this he projects a friendly, trustworthy, and supportive persona as good allies are supposed to be.

Daisuke imagines having something better than his bleak reality sometimes, but only sometimes. He's not enough of a dreamer to be so idealistic. He has a flair for being dramatic, and exaggerates good effects when trying to rope in clients, but that's about it. His romantic side likes to sneak out in the presence of a certain someone though. He isn't as aggressive as Akane (sexual 6 wing), but he does tend to feign calmness in the face of "danger". He's good at not showing it, but he's actually quite scared most of the time.

Suzume: 9w8 (so/sx)

Her social instinct manifests in her tendency to work hard to support the people she cares for and prioritize the group’s needs above her own. This is due to the feeling that she doesn't actually belong among the people she cares for, so she overcompensates by being generous and sacrificing whatever is necessary to meet the needs of the group in order for a sense of belonging. She is also very focused on protecting her loved ones but has a hard time expressing vulnerability and emotions. 

Its hard to live in such a harsh and cruel world, but she is able to find a sense of comfort through the satisfaction of physical needs. Enjoyable activities like eating, reading, watching television, and even sleeping get her from one day to the next. As long as she focuses on the present instead of the daunting future, she'll be fine. Her 8 wing allows her to be good at making things happen. When she wants something, she most certainly will work hard to get it! She just needs to actually want something first.

Haku: 5w4 (sp/so)

Like Ichiro, he tends to keep to himself and learn about the world through observing rather than participating. While Ichiro has garnered a love for drawing, he has a passion for music, specifically piano. His 4 wing is where he differs from Ichiro's enneagram type. A type 4's greatest sin is "envy", and Haku tends to compare himself to others in terms of music capability. He actually isn't that talented when it comes to playing the piano, but he makes up for it through hard work. Still, he can't help being jealous of others who seem to get by without having to suffer as much as him. There's no point in whining about it though, so he learns to endure everything with a stoic face.

Sexual fives live for a kind of ideal connection, always searching for someone who they can trust with all their secrets. They can be said to be romantics in that way. Luckily for Haku, he already has his beloved brother who is always by his side. Everyone else in the world pales in comparison to him. The sexual side of Haku's 4 wing manifests in his competitive streak towards his peers. When it comes to the piano, he hates to lose to anyone else. Even though he isn't as naturally talented as everyone else, its what he's best at. Its an important part of him, and he can't let go of it.

Yui: 4w3 (so/sp)

As a social 4, she tends to feel things deeply and finds it hard to regulate her negative emotions. A part of her wants her suffering to be recognized and understood, but she also fears displaying such vulnerability to the potential of being rejected. To compensate for this innate sadness, she projects the exact opposite image. She's flourishing and beautiful and popular, liked by everyone. Her smile will surely outshine her shadow.

She also often feels competitive towards other idols in the industry, especially those that seem to be better than her. She can't stand the thought of being forgotten in someone else's shadow, so she works hard to shine in her own right. Its not always about her though! She likes to see her loved ones flourish as well, and will often work hard in support of the people she cares for. There's a special kind of pride she feels when her loved ones are acknowledged after improving with her help.

Rin: 1w2 (so/sp)

As a social 1, he is highly idealistic and driven by an internal sense of morality. He strictly believes in rules and responsibility, hence why he takes pinky promises so seriously. He can be nitpicky and stubborn, causing him to feel separate from his peers because he struggles to find someone he can totally relate to. Even though he finds most people annoying, he quickly grows attached to anyone who treats him nicely. He's a hard worker with the occasional competitive streak, wanting to stand out and make an impact within whatever group he's joined (his school's science club).

He often feels that he knows the “right” way to do things, and will get frustrated at those who don't follow his views. Its not that he believes in perfection, but there's a certain standard that everyone should live up to. He can't understand people who fuss over trivial things that don't amount to anything in the end. Once someone manages to befriend him, he'll give lots of attention to them, wanting to be their best friend just as they are his. He gets lonely quite often actually, and isn't good at letting go of people.

Noa: 4w5 (so/sx)

Similar to Yui, she's sensitive and has a bleak outlook on life and the world as a whole. Its as if she was born to be sad, and she can't help but feel as if life isn't worth living most of the time. She tries not to burden others with her depressing thoughts and feelings, but it feels good to let the weight off her back once in a while. A part of her fears that her loved ones will start seeing her differently once she shares too much though. These feelings might be born from her tendency to live in her own head, filled with romantic ideals of a better world with better people. She was never one for mundane, ordinary life, how could she be? The books and movies she watches are much more interesting, and they often make her wish she was living in another world instead.

Her self-preservation instinct tries its best to make her not seem like an utter failure. Others will surely be annoyed at her whining, so she should just keep these messy feelings to herself. This inner conflict only causes her turmoil most of the time. Her 5 wing also causes her to have a need for clearly defined boundaries, to have a place of safety she can retreat to to avoid feeling lost in the world. Even though she wants to, its hard to voice her thoughts sometimes. Especially with the potential of rejection.

Kiyoshi: 2w3 (so/sp)

He's obviously a social 2 with him being the helpful and responsible leader type. He wants to help people and preserve the peace of the community, and is ambitious in pursuing any goals he sets for himself. Everyone who knows him admires him for his accomplishments, he's a role model for his community after all. A part of him needs everybody's admiration and respect as a way of earning a sense of belonging in his community. His parents are very active in the community as well, so he's learned that people who go out of their way to help others are always well loved and accepted. He makes sure to live up to everyone's expectations.

He also strives to forge intimate connections with others. It'd be nice to have some close friends, to share secrets with others and to be shared with. But he wants to be approved of and liked so much that he is willing to agree to anything someone says. He doesn't even realize that he says whatever the other wants to hear until hours after the conversation. Because he tries so hard to be good and perfect, he doesn't know how to react to criticism. He also goes out of his way to support others, particularly his loved ones. He wants everyone to get their own chance to shine!

Mayumi: 1w9 (so/sx)

Similar to Rin, she believes that everyone has a certain standard to love up to and responsibilities that they must fulfill. She strives to be the perfect example to others by living according to the rules and portraying correct conduct. She has a strong moral compass and bad habit of judging others in secret (she tries not to). However, she's more peaceful and compromising compared to Rin, as she doesn't want to offend or cause trouble for anyone. She works selflessly for the group without desire to be in the spotlight or be heaped with praise, simply being part of a meaningful group of people means the most to her.

Her self-preservation instinct manifests in her tendency to be plagued by worry in her daily life. She wants to be prepared when things go wrong, and will put in a lot effort into making sure her life is in order. Despite her anxiety and annoyance whenever things don't go smoothly, she still strives to live a calm and peaceful life. This means that she is practical and routine-oriented, trying her best to focus on the present and find ways to make her environment more enjoyable and comfortable.

Haruto: 8w7 (sp/so)

He doesn't have to worry about such things as a prison warden in Milgram, but he actually has a strong need to obtain what he needs for survival. He has a sort of ruthlessness in going after what he wants and finding ways to get around people who might stand in his way. He's efficient and calculating, but not entirely cold-hearted. His 7 wing also helps him with being opportunistic and good at networking, qualities that are always good to have for survival. He believes in strength in numbers, so being friendly and forming alliances with others is important to him. Even more so when he comes across someone who can help him in achieving his goals. Perhaps he struggled a lot before Milgram.

His sexual instinct has him being distrustful of rules and not afraid to go against the grain of convention. He's found himself in a strange place with no memory of anything before, so he's always uneasy despite being in the "highest position of authority" in Milgram. He wants to be in control of himself and his environment, and gaining more information is the only way to do so at the moment. His optimistic 7 wing keeps him in good spirits despite his uneasiness, and he tends to be impulsive because of it, much to the chagrin of some prisoners. Planning, improvising, envisioning – these are the things that occupy his time.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜

Ichiro

Gender preference: None. He'd probably grow feelings for anyone within his age range that treats him nicely.

Giving:

Gift giving - Its a nice way to show his affection without coming off as too clingy. He tends to dedicate and give his drawings to the people close to him. Drawing is his hobby, and he's quite good at it so he thinks his drawings are a good gift for his loved ones. He'll also pick up anything that he thinks his loved ones would like. Flowers, keychains, food, smooth pebbles for paperweights (that he paints first), you name it.

Quality time - When he likes someone, he wants to spend time with them (isn't it like that for everyone?). He'll try his best to pay attention when they're talking or trying to show him something. Compared to the way he usually ignores other people, his preference for someone can be quite obvious over time.

Receiving:

Quality time - As long as he can be doing the same activity as his loved one, he's happy (like a cat). The amount of attention they're willing to give him is how he measures their feelings towards him actually. If they don't want to spend time with him, that must mean that they don't care about him.

Words of affirmation - He has mommy issues, so of course he wants to be called a good boy. But seriously, compliments and kind words will have him curling into a ball of happiness. He doesn't believe in lies, so he thinks that any words of affection towards him is true. He likes being reminded that he's loved.

Akane

Gender preference: None. She's giving pansexual vibes actually.

Giving:

Acts of service - She's used to doing all the chores around the house, so doing the same thing for someone she actually cares about shouldn't be a problem. She isn't very good at cooking, but she'll practice if she wants to impress someone- He first-aid skills are quite good from experience, so she'll insist on patching up the wounds of her loved ones whenever she has the chance. She's not happy about them getting hurt or anything like that! She just likes having the opportunity to show her care for them.

Quality time - She's never had someone genuinely care about her before, but he wishes she had someone to talk to often. She's very picky about who she spends her time with, but when he likes someone, she'll go out of her way to seek them out. Who would've thought? Even a tsundere like her wants love.

Receiving:

Gift giving - Her father is a good-for-nothing, and a high school girl is only able to rake in so much income, so she doesn't have much to herself. Practical items like food, bandages, clothes and stationary are the fastest way to her heart. She'll find a way to repay the giver because she doesn't like feeling indebted to people, but she appreciates the gesture all the same.

Words of affirmation - She is so weak to compliments. Butter her up a little and she'll be a flustered blushing mess. Its nice hearing her loved ones tell her that she's pretty cool, okay? Especially after the things her father and teachers have said to her.

Daisuke

Gender preference: None. Bisexual disaster at his finest.

Giving:

Physical touch - He's a touchy guy, even towards people he just met as long as they don't seem to mind (most of the time). If he likes someone, he'll definitely be draping himself over them a lot like a sloth. If he likes someone, he'll be thinking of kissing them so much its embarrassing. Even he gets embarrassed about it.

Gift giving - A part of him gives gifts in hopes that the receiver will think of him whenever they look at or use the gift, like a little reminder of his affection for them. But for the most part, he has money and he likes spending it on the people he cares for.

Receiving:

Quality time - His parents were often busy, so he was quite lonely in his childhood. Its easy to arrange for meetups with friends now that he's an adult, so that's exactly what he does. He'll do the same for anyone he has feelings for too. He doesn't call it a date, the potential of rejection is too much. He just wants to spend time with the people that he likes, preferably doing something fun.

Physical touch - Is he touch starved? Any skin contact makes him happy actually, even if its a little rough. Maybe he's just a masochist. Cuddling is his favourite, especially with his special someone playing with his hair. Not that he's ever had a special someone cuddle him... But its nice to dream about.

Suzume

Gender preference: None. I'm getting bisexual vibes from her too.

Giving:

Acts of service - Her main method of showing her love is easy to overlook, hence why she feels she isn't good at loving. Doing the chores, remembering important things for her loved ones, positioning things around the house for convenience... Even though it feels like she's being taken for granted sometimes, its her way of showing her love and she isn't stopping anytime soon.

Quality time - When she cares about someone, she gives them her full attention and tries her best to remember the important details about them. She'll only remember the times she spent with them in the end after all, so why not create as many happy memories with her loved ones as possible?

Receiving:

Quality time - She's really happy when her loved ones talk to her or do an activity with her. Watching a movie together is one of her favourite activities to do her loved ones actually. She gets to enjoy the movie with them, and then discuss it with them afterwards.

Words of affirmation - She's the type of person to hear "I love you" a thousand times over and still not get tired of it. Same goes for compliments and reassurances. She just has to hear it with her own ears even if they're lies and she'll be alright.

Haku

Gender preference: None. He isn't interested in dating, but he probably has the capacity to be attracted to people.

Giving:

Acts of service - His way of showing love is quiet. He's already a responsible older brother, so doing chores and offering massages to his parents is normal for him to do. Helping his brother talk to others is a loving act of service as well. His parents tell him he coddles his brother too much, but he can't help it.

Gift giving - He tends to buy snacks, flowers and little trinkets for his loved ones like a cat bringing its spoils to its master. Whatever he thinks they'd like. Learning to play piano songs that they like seems to be a gift rather than an act of service, so I'll put it here. He also leaves the portion of his meals that his brother likes for the other to eat, another example of him spoiling his brother too much.

Receiving:

Quality time - He just likes being around his loved ones. He could be in the same room as them, doing separate things, and he'd still consider it quality time. Of course its more special when they're doing an activity together though. He especially loves the music related activities, it feels more meaningful to him.

Physical touch - His family members are quite touchy actually. His dad pats his head frequently, his mom often squishes his cheeks, and his brother is always clinging to him. Since physical touch is their giving love language, he's likely adapted to receive it. He's quite picky with who touches him though.

Yui

Gender preference: Male. She thinks girls are cute, but isn't interested in dating them?

Giving:

Words of affirmation - She can't help but want to blurt out all the nice things she can think of about her loved ones. When someone mentions them, she automatically goes on a spiel about how amazing they are. She has to stop herself from ranting for too long most of the time. Shell praise compliment her loved ones face-to-face plenty too. And she means every word.

Physical touch - its hard to hide when she's feeling clingy. She loves hugging her loved ones, throwing an arm over their shoulders and tucking her chin onto the crook of their necks. She especially loves playing with their hair, no matter the length.

Receiving:

Quality time - Having her loved ones want to spend time with her is a surefire way to cheer her up during a bad day because she finds their presence comforting. She just needs them to sit with her. It lets her know that they don't find her annoying? Its a silly thought, she tries to shit it down every time it pops up.

Words of affirmation - Receiving compliments always improves her self-esteem. When she's feeling down, a few compliments is sure to get her mood back to normal in no time. She turns into a flustered mess when showered in kind words too.

Rin

Gender preference: Female

Giving:

Gift giving - He likes to treat his loved ones to snacks and buy little gifts for them. He doesn't receive that much pocket money, but he still insists on buying things for his loved ones because it makes him happy to see them happy with their gifts. He looks forward to special occasions like Mother's day and Valentine's day to be used as excuses to buy gifts for his loved ones.

Quality time - He likes seeing and interacting with the people that he likes! He can actually get antsy and restless when he hasn't been able to interact with his loved one(s) for too long. Like that time his parents went on a week-long trip for their anniversary. He was fidgeting while waiting for them at the airport.

Receiving:

Quality time - He tends to measure how much his loved ones love him based on how much time they spend with him. And he has a bad habit of taking it personally when they're too busy to spend time with him. It isn't that hard to hang out with him though. Most of the time he just wants to share a meal or read together.

Acts of service - He can sometimes forget to take care of himself when he's engrossed in his work, so its really nice when his loved one runs him a hot bath or brings him a snack while he's working. Little acts like that never fail to make his heart melt.

Noa

Gender preference: Male

Giving:

Physical touch - She can't help but want to feel her loved ones with her hands. Ruffling her brothers' hair, holding her mother's hand, hugging her beloved husband. There's something comforting about being able to feel their skin against hers. It grounds her, reminds her that they're here and alive. Is that weird?

Quality time - She isn't very busy, so she has plenty of time to spend on her loved ones. If her loved ones have something to show her, she's sure to give them her full attention! Any time spend sharing love for each other is quality time for her.

Receiving:

Words of affirmation -She tends to feel down sometimes, but little words of support and reassurance always help to pick her back up. Sometimes she just wants to be distracted and will ask them to ramble about something instead. She finds her loved ones' voices soothing, so they serve as good distractions.

Quality time - Since she likes spending time with her loved ones, she feels loved when they want to spend time with her too. She feels rather honored when her loved ones share something special to them with her actually. That means they trust her enough to share something close to them. How wonderful.

Kiyoshi

Gender preference: Female

Giving:

Acts of service - He wants his loved ones to be safe and comfortable at all times, so if there's anything he can do for them, he'll do his best to help them. Especially his beloved parents. He's a reliable assistant for his father while working, and frequently brews relaxing teas for his mother.

Gift giving - He likes to buy fancy and expensive gifts for his loved one on special occasion. Watches, fruit baskets, decorative items they're sure to like. His mother has a fondness for flowers, so he makes sure to buy a bouquet every Mother's day. He just loves seeing the look of joy on his loved ones' faces when they receive something they like. He can't get enough of it.

Receiving:

Physical touch - He's used to being touched a lot as a kid. His parents hugged him often, and his elderly neighbours liked to pinch his cheeks. They still do it even though he's all grown up now. Not that he's complaining! He quite likes the attention.

Acts of service - He's always making sure everyone else is taken care of, so who will take care of him? Sometimes he gets so engrossed on his work that he forgets about his own needs. Just having his loved one check in on him gives him enough motivation to keep going (and remind him to eat something).

Mayumi

Gender preference: Male

Giving:

Acts of service - She's more of a practical person, so she'd rather do something useful for her loved ones rather then profess her care with words. For her, talk is cheap. So she doesn't mind doing extra chores and cooking meals and such.

Gift giving - Another practical way of showing love that Mayumi prefers. She's known to knit sweaters for the children living in the hospital she works at, and her mother is always happy to receive more cooking equipment. Basically, she prefers to get things for the people she cares about that they will use.

Receiving:

Quality time - She's busy with her job as a nurse, so she treasures the precious moments spent with her loved ones. Even time spent doing chores with her mother is treasured by her. But she prefers activities like having a conversation over a shared meal.

Acts of service - She's very tired at the end of every day, so it'd be nice to be taken care of for a while. A simple cup of tea is enough to get her spirits up most of the time. She also tends to misplace her things quite often, so having someone help her to look for it and bring it to her would be really helpful.

Haruto

Gender preference: Both, both are good.

Giving:

Acts of service - He has traces of responsibility in him (likely from his past) and is always helping the people he care about feel comfortable. He's the kind of person that always has to be doing something, and that translates to his love language as well.

Words of affirmation - He tends to casually compliment the people he cares about, usually with a lighthearted tone. It just slips out so easily for him, he hardly has to think about it. The ever meaningful "I love yous" are saved for special occasions though.

Receiving:

Words of affirmation - Compliments and praises make him so happy! They inflate his ego too but we don't talk about that. If someone likes him, they must think he's pretty cool and want to voice it, right? He knows lots of people don't operate like that, but he wants to hear proof of their love from their lips. At least once in a while. That shouldn't be too hard for them if they love him.

Acts of service - Its nice to have things done for him. Even better if his loved ones is proactive about it! He's sure to do the same for them, so its only fair. The little things like being brought a drink and having his hair dried really makes his day!

[multi-level-shipper]

This shit was a fucking acid trip, like most of the game.

Anyway, something that poked my brain was the Infirmary. For all this game's insanity, there were actually some decent roots planted for worldbuilding/ character development.

It seems like the reason the cast ended up in Queen Bouncelia's domain is because they're treating the player as if they have 6 stars in GTA. Seline is no exception to this rule, and that seems to be her motivation for coming down to the lower floor, as she watched us leave in Chapter 3.

Toadster noted in his "Archives" that she was already hiding when brought in, and crying in her shell. She may have been antagonized by a bigger enemy- likely Kittysaurus or Tama/Chamataki (turtle chameleon thing), and she may have gone past the kingdom's walls for sanctuary. (That's just a loose theory, though.)

In any case, at some point she was frightened enough to shut down completely.

This could be some kind of anxiety attack, though there's no way to "diagnose" Seline at this point. Also interesting that Seline felt too afraid to even continue moving around on the lower floors. I think this is meant to speak to just how dangerous the lower floors are- if the giant ass snail is afraid, you should be, too.

Next, Jumbo Josh. Toadster categorizes him as a "Green Gorilla", which in hindsight, weirdly makes a lot of sense.

Firstly, an adult silverback gorilla can bench up to 4,000 lbs (or at least, that's what google told me.) Not that we needed an explanation of why he was able to throw Stinger Flynn, but I can only assume that if we adjusted that number for his size...it probably checks out.

Second, the fact that he walks like a chiropractor's worst nightmare. It took me a second, but I FINALLY realized that his posture is meant to IMITATE A GORILLA. Like, look at this:

DEFINITELY EXPLAINS WHY HE WALKS LIKE A HORSE IN GARRY'S MOD.

And thirdly, Josh's love for vegetables is also a gorilla trait. 85% of a gorilla's diet is leafy greens, with the remaining percentage basically amounting to termites and larvae.

Not too much to say about the Fucked Up Birds, but still! Nice to see them finally displaying a flamingo behavior (AKA their sleeping posture) because they seemed to lean more heavily on ostrich behaviors in previous chapters.

Toadster mentions in his archive for "The Teacher" that she keeps repeating the phrase "I can't be late" over and over to herself after being subdued.

He also notes that the bowling pins "calmed her down," which may not entirely be the case. In Chapter 3, in Banbaleena's "Classroom", each object had an assigned role like Cool Kid and Popular Kid. The bowling pins were meant to be the Bullies.

So Banbaleena is likely stuck in a prison of her own self-doubts right about now, which is doubly sad when considering her insistence in Chapter 3 that she was actually trying to be a good teacher. Either someone placed this idea in her head that she needs to strictly adhere to all these rules, or it's a stress she placed upon herself trying to fulfill her identity as a teacher.

Stinger Flynn gets better as the story progresses. He seems to have an ego to the point where he sees himself as a savior that can't see the faults in his own plans. His initial "safest procedures" plan seemed so obvious to him, but it seems as if he measures success by efficiency rather than the cost of human lives. While he's smart, he's not immune to being wrong, though he has yet to learn this.

He also seems to suffer from some form of depression, or at least intense sadness, and we see this as he talks to Banban in the latest hallucination sequence. Makes sense- his intelligence would make him much more privy to all the horrible things happening around him. It seems as if his high intelligence comes at a high price.

Last note- This might just be a case of recycling animations/rigs, but I think it's cute that Banban shares nearly the same emo pose as Banbaleena.

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

Hello tumblr user coffee-without-anesthetics can you explain Miligram to me like I'm your 80 year old grandmother who doesn't understand why she needs to decide why she needs to either vote to "forgive or do not forgive" this nice-looking lad/lass when you handed the phone to her and told her to tap the button you pointed out

hello!!! yes i can tumblr user kayoi1234, but too bad you're getting the full recap (miligram made me giggle, nice)

alright so we've got 10 buddies (prisoners) in this Milgram prison who are all technically guilty of "taking a life" (not killing someone, only around four of them did that from what we know.)

in the beginning, this is all the info available.

there's 3 trials over the course of years, 1 of which already fully passed, the second of which is more-or-less on the edge being finished -> as im writing this, you can vote for 2 characters, and the last 2 are yet to be judged at all

during each trial:

the official youtube channel releases a new MV (song) about the character currently being judged. (and a cover of a deco*27 song on spotify)

a voice drama of a discussion between the character and the warden (Es) is uploaded on spotify. an english translation by fans is usually uploaded not long after on youtube

and later, when both of the above has been realized for two characters

interrogation questions are answered on twitter. (here's the fan eng account)

INFO 1: in official sources (website etc) they use "guilty or innocent". this is misleading. they're all guilty of something. the only question is your forgiveness. INFO 2: the official english translations of the songs sometimes Suck Major Ass (see: Undercover), but theyre fine enough most of the time.

now that we're onto trial2 we know what an unforgiven vote does, which is: less privileges/freedom, more restrains, mental state done did fucked up if they care, more but can't remember right now.

in-universe, the warden judges them. you influence the judgement with daily votes.

and the most important of all: any reason to judge is a good reason!!

unforgiven cause you think they're reprehensible? sure! forgiven cause theyre cute? yeah! forgiven for the lolz? why not!

…there's also the question if this all is technically a infohazard because by knowing about the vote and then abstaining from voting (or not doing anything at all) is still participating anyway.

TLDR: over time you get more info about 10 characters who all took a life, and with that info you decide whether you forgive them or not in three trials

if you wanted basic info you can stop here.

diversity win! the amnesiac nonbinary 15 y/o prison warden with identity issues can hear the voice anyone who's ever voted! neat!

in the beningening, no one knew what an unforgiven vote would do and the info we had about characters was spotty at best, but we still got 4 characters judged unforgiven.

now more fun stuff!!

(im gonna use prisoner numbers not names cuz i don't wanna type allat)

unrelated: there's a side spin-off manga (???) called minigram. i have no idea what goes on there. random facts: 04 is half-french and the daughter of a landlord. 09 got diagnosed with DID via talking rabbit and teenager. 03 is the twitter-using guy who doxxed a kid to death. there's a fucking smokers club (05, 07 and 09). fun stuff all around

the thing is that the literal last character of the roster to be judged is a Justice Fanatic who got forgiven!! guess what she did to those who weren't.

long story short she got 03 blind in one eye, 06 now has a broken arm + bruised ribs + concussion iirc, 08 is a kid so she got skipped, and 09 fought back but you can see it took a lot.

why aren't any of them dead? the resident medic 05 was judged forgiven so he was free to help them.

there's no conclusion, *gestures at all of them* i just think they're neat

[guardian-rocket]

NAME: Rocket

RESIDENCE: verse dependent; Cage floor in the Arete, Prison, Milano, Benatar, Eclector 's Third Quadrant, Bowie, Knowhere, His personal room at Rei's (New York Apartment on Earth that's RP canon specific) -- there could be more

TYPE OF BED: verse dependent; cage floor, he didn't have a bed on the Milano and just slept at the table or in his cockpit seat, or just found some place to curl up at. Later he gets makeshift 'rooms' to sleep in. They'd basically be storage closets he repurposes for some privacy, the bed would be just some metal chest with a flat surface, sometimes they're slightly padded on top but he doesn't care for the softness. His main bed on Knowhere is fashioned from a bent hatch door which suits him well. His bed at Rei's is an extra firm traditional mattress on a military cot (twin sized). Rocket never requires a bed, and could find comfort sleeping in just about any situation so long he is tired.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: He typically has one thin blanket that he only partially covers with. (He tends to cover his feet and spoon against the rest.)

NUMBER OF PILLOWS: none (He uses his arms) if one is provided he *may* use it.

TYPE OF CLOTHING: He often sleeps in his clothes, although he may take a few layers off (shirt, maybe pants) having pajamas may seem a little pointless to him unless it's some sort of expectation (like a sleep over or something) . He does like to wear less though because sometimes he finds comfort in being in just his underwear sleeping on his metal bed against his blanket, pretending he's back in his cage with his friends.

DO THEY SLEEP WITH COMPANY?: He wants to, like it is peek comfort for him, platonically. I think it is something he craves deep down and going to bed alone all the time just emphasizes his loneliness. He's use to it but when he gets a chance to sleep near someone he won't exactly pass it up. When Groot is small, Rocket let him sleep along with him a lot.

DO THEY SLEEP BETTER WITH COMPANY?: He typically does, it gives him a sense of safety and acceptance. He's a much sounder sleeper when he's near someone he trusts.

DOES IT MATTER WHERE THEY SLEEP?: No, he'll pass out anywhere, even in a sink (they're nice and cool)

WHAT DO THEY DO IF THEY CANNOT FALL ASLEEP?: He'll get up and tinker, or listen to music, maybe message a friend to distract himself

FREQUENT DREAMS, NIGHTMARES: He dreams in flashbacks a lot, he also has a lot of nightmares that focus on his failures. He sometimes has good dreams too usually about earning a lot of money

DEEP SLUMBER OR NAPS: He mostly takes naps due to paranoia of being unconscious for too long. If he feels safe he might get a normal night's sleep. It also doesn't help that he's biologically nocturnal so his internal clock is all fucked up.

WHEN DO THEY SLEEP: He doesn't abide by any planetary clock and just sleep when his body needs it. He relies heavily on coffee when he wakes since he's often shorting himself on sleep. This is an unknown large factor why he's often moody, as he'll be strung out and tense on caffeine and his body is just tired and not getting proper rest.

WHAT COULD WAKE THEM UP: typically nightmares or noises. He's got sensitive ears so he tends to wake if people around him aren't trying to keep quiet and if he's waken up by someone he's typically gonna be grouchy and be rude about it. Like if he's sleeping, leave him tf alone because he doesn't get enough of it.

Tagged by: @beatfreesmysoul Tagging: @papetoonfox @spideymn @spidermanxnoir and @byondtheveil

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

What Shape Does Your Pain Take?

Sea

You're drowning. A sea of emotions, responsibilities, people, things, everything. You just can't handle it all, you need to escape, but you can't. Even talking to someone and being told it's okay, compliments, nice things people say, it all adds up to drown you further. Guilt, for feeling this way when everyone's being nice and you're not enough.  Will you sink or swim?

Due to the number of questions in the comments about what to do about your answer, I've added some strategies that might be helpful on each answer! 

Number one thing... Is you need a way to vent. You start to drown when you internalize everything and it eventually becomes too much to bear. Paint an image that represents your feelings, dance your heart out, write down everything that's bothering you and on your mind and then burn/rip up the paper, talk to someone, have a good cry in the shower and just acknowledge everything you're feeling. Get it out somehow, and you'll feel better. And find a way to consistently get it out, don't let it build up to your breaking point before you do anything about it. For me that's dance classes, I go almost on a daily basis and put all my feelings into whatever choreography or practice I do and let each movement let out any anger, sadness, jealousy, fear, or other pent up emotions. 

Glass Cage

You feel disconnected from the world around you. You can see everything, everyone can see you, but you're not really there. No one can really communicate with you, can they? You're isolated, even when you're around people you're alone.  You want desperately to be close to someone, but you're afraid of what will happen if you shatter your glass prison. You don't want to let someone in, you don't want to leave, and it's a constant battle of your own will. 

It's easier to be alone, where no one can hurt you... Isn't it?

Due to the number of questions in the comments about what to do about your answer, I've added some strategies that might be helpful on each answer! 

People are going to hurt you. It's a fact of life. But they're also going to give you the happiest days you'll ever have. The trick is to be confident and love yourself, to know that you're enough and that not everyone is going to appreciate that. Some puzzle pieces don't fit together, even though they may look it at first, but just that they don't go there doesn't mean that they're broken, worth less than the other pieces, or don't belong. Sometimes they might go to a whole other puzzle, but there is a puzzle where they belong and are being searched for. 

Build up your self-esteem, know your worth, and prepare to take risks. Life if full of them. But if you know who you are and that you're a worthy, important person, when things go wrong it's easier to bounce back. You're the only person that you're stuck with for the rest of your life, so you should love and value yourself more than anyone else.  Take the time to get to know yourself and love yourself, and then go with the intent to get to know and love others. Not to validate yourself or prove that you're worth something. If your only intent is to get to know and love others, they'll get to know and love you in return, and even if things don't work out, you haven't failed.  

Flowers

Your pain takes the shape of flowers, or something else beautiful and free. You can't help but see what you don't have in the beautiful thing, can't help but feel pain as you see what you're missing out on. Maybe you even wish that you could just be happy and surround yourself in flowers, but you can't, because each time you see them it's like a reminder of the empty hole you carry.  They say that pain is beauty... Right?

Due to the number of questions in the comments about what to do about your answer, I've added some strategies that might be helpful on each answer! 

It sounds cliche, but it has its merit. Write down things you're thankful for, however many you want but probably at least ten would be best. Spend some time being thankful for what you do have, even if it's something small like "It's really cool that I happen to have my favorite pillow." Once you've done that, think about what you want to have that you're jealous when you see other people with it. A relationship? A certain job? Whatever it is, look at why you want it. Do you think it'll make you happy? Prove something to someone? Make life easier? Then think... Will it really, 100% chance, make what I hope to happen happen? If the answer is yes, then what can you do to get whatever the goal is? There's always something, and it might not be easy, but where there's a will there's a way and you can do this. If the answer is no, then look for other ways to get what you want. If you want to be happy and realize that there's not a 100% chance that a relationship would make you truly happy, then what else can you do to be happy? Pick up a new hobby, practice self-care, think more about what blessings you have, or whatever else you think might work. 

Bonus: When you see someone and automatically go to jealousy or sadness at what you don't have, try to recognize it and turn that around. I like to even exaggerate it a lot. Like when I see a really fit person and start to be insecure about my body, I try to internally hype up the person and be really happy for them. "Dang girl! You're so thin and muscular, that's impressive. Must've taken a lot of work, I'm so proud of you for putting all that effort and dedication in!!" 

A Picture

A picture. A single image reminding you of someone or something you've lost, something you don't want to live without. You can't seem to move on, to accept life has changed, to live again. You're trapped in the picture, in the past. 

Maybe this was a lost family member or friend, maybe this was a sickness that isn't going away, maybe this was sinking into depression. But you can't help but remember how life was before, how life after will never be the same, and can't help but feel that nothing in the future will be able to fill the hole the past left.  Nothing lasts forever... Right?

Due to the number of questions in the comments about what to do about your answer, I've added some strategies that might be helpful on each answer! 

Think about the future... What do you want it to be? What can you realistically have in the future? Make a plan, whatever job, in whatever place you want, what kind of style you want to have, who you want to be known as... And then think, how can you get there? 

The biggest thing you need to do is let go of the past, and think about what kind of future you want. You can keep bits of the past, but if you try to live in the past then you'll end up living nowhere. Grow into the new you, and shape that into the best version of you. It's a little harsh, but the past is gone and there's nothing you can do to bring it back. And even if you could, you've changed, and you wouldn't enjoy it the same way. It would feel constricting, like you're stuck with no growing room, and you would just end up leaving it again. Enjoy the present while it's here, prepare for the future, and get yourself excited about what's to come. 

Also, start new activities. Building outside of the picture frame helps you to escape the picture. Meet new people, try something new, travel somewhere, do something dumb for the heck of it, just move outside the box. It becomes easier with time. 

tagged by: @lunarruled tagging: all the people!

(note: I broke this up into two posts because of the length)

[aloudplace]

Fidelity won 1

Loki heard the impact half a mile underground, where SHIELD kept its worst prisoners--of which, at this time, there was only one. It was the first time he'd heard anything beyond the footsteps of the guards and the click of the outer door when someone came to visit him. They'd put a ward on his cell so he couldn't project himself outside it--just like the prisons at home on Asgard.

It was still strange to think that Asgard was gone. At his own hand.

A hollow feeling rose every time he remembered. He pushed it away in favor of sharper, more comprehensible feelings: Anger. Resentment. Rage.

All he could do was wait, and wonder, and quietly seethe. Thor had been to see him every day since they'd put him away. That was a change. A nice one, if he was being honest with himself. But still, he was bitter. To be locked away again, helpless, scorned. And of course, they'd taken the tesseract. So once again he was powerless. Waiting for the judgment of a race of petty little children. Punishment that was utterly beneath him.

I should have stayed on Sakaar.

The walls were still shuddering slightly when his guards received the call. He watched through the heavy tempered glass--several inches thick, with narrow vents near the center, all of it reinforced with titanium netting--as the two heavily armed men simultaneously put finger to ear and listened.

One of them looked at him and barked, "Stay behind the line."

Loki looked down at the painted white border six feet from the glass. He was standing well behind it already.

"They're watching you up in central," the guard continued. "You know what happens if you step over."

They'd threatened him with this before: the kill switch. If he misbehaved or tried to escape, someone in the central monitoring room would push a button and the floor and walls of his cell would be electrified to the tune of 500,000 volts. They seemed to believe it would kill him. He didn't dissuade them from the assumption.

Loki raised his hands and smiled mockingly at the guard who had spoken. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Both guards turned in unison and hustled out of the room.

Interesting. He hadn't been alone since the day they'd locked him up. Something very troubling must be going on up there.

SHEILD and the beloved Avengers were operating at a fraction of their previous manpower. Thor and Banner were the only two on site. Oh, and the little spy, Romanoff. Apparently, this was an "all hands on deck" situation.

He folded his hands behind his back and looked up at the blank steel ceiling. It shook again, this time with a smaller, shorter impact. A low, not-so-distant rumble followed by a series of similar reports, in rapid succession. Explosives of some kind.

Very troubling indeed.

Loki smiled.

How delightful.

... ... ...

Thirty minutes later, the guards returned, led by Natasha Romanoff, and with a number of extras in tow. Loki caught a glimpse of blonde hair, a flash of purple, and pale, slender hands in cuffs. They put a woman in the cell opposite his and Natasha stood watching as the guard beside her removed the prisoner's cuffs. The door slid seamlessly shut at the guard stepped back.

"You'll be comfortable here until we can question you," Natasha said.

The woman in the cell turned and replied, "Comfortable might be a stretch."

Loki couldn't see her clearly past the wall of black-clad guards, but her voice was clear and soft. Intelligent.

Natasha's head tilted slightly to one side, and he could imagine quite clearly the mocking little smile that was her only response.

The spy turned away and the guards followed her out, leaving Loki alone with his new cellmate.

She was watching them go with a tiny little smile perched on her lips. Her hair was indeed blonde-or mostly. It was dark at the roots and vibrant purple at the tips, all of it wavy, cut in a neat, asymmetrical slash just below her jawline, shorter on one side than the other.

Her physicality startled him momentarily--the tall, angular, athletic build seemed totally at odds with that calm, clever voice. Her legs were long and sleekly muscular. So was the rest of her, as a matter of fact.

When the door clicked shut behind the last guard and she looked up at him in his cell directly across. Her eyes were wide and slightly tilted, a brilliant amber color, accentuated by the thick dark line of her lashes.

"Hi," she said, as though they were meeting in a completely mundane setting rather than a prison.

"Hello."

Her gaze flicked down his body and came back up so quickly he almost missed it.

"What are you in for?" And then her lips curved again, just slightly, and her eyes held a tiny hint of laughter.

Being the God of Mischief, Loki could not help but respond to that look. He smiled, flashing teeth, heartlessly amused by his own admission: "Attempting to enslave the human race."

Her brows rose in obvious--and gratifying--surprise, and then she treated his person to a much slower, more careful assessment. It was a purely dispassionate look. He'd seen it before. Worn it. She was trying to place him on her person threat scale. How much of a danger are you to me?

By the end of it, he had no idea where he'd landed. Her expression told him nothing.

Finally, meeting his gaze again, she dipped her head to one side. "Hm."

The smile had not left her eyes.

That's new, he thought, with growing interest. Just who the hell are you?

And then she started looking around her cell--the metal walls, the vented glass--visually tracing the seams where they came together as though looking for a weakness.

"I take it you're the reason for all the excitement upstairs," he said, watching her.

She flashed him a grin by way of confirmation, and then walked to the low metal cot against the far wall, nudging it with her sleek brown boot. It was securely bolted to the floor.

"You won't find an easy means of escape."

"I guess not," she replied, trailing her hand along the wall, knocking lightly. "The humans have really come up in the universe, it seems. They've made great technological leaps since last I was here." Turning back to him, she took in his cell in its entirety. "The warding on your cell, in particular, is pretty impressive."

His surprise must have shown. She smiled again, an oddly friendly expression. "I'll wager you could break it if you really tried."

So, she had magical abilities. And she wasn't human. Interesting.

"Not without potentially killing myself," he admitted.

She looked at him thoughtfully. Or, not at him, per se, but into him, as though reading beyond the visible. "You've got a lot of source energy about you."

There was more there, behind her words, behind her eyes. Knowledge. Intent. Loki felt a trickle of real excitement. A sense of anticipation.

"I am Loki, Crowned Prince of Asgard."

Again, her brows rose, this time sharply. "Asgard," she echoed, that hint of amusement suddenly gone.

"You know it?"

Her gaze slid away. "I know of it."

Loki let the silence stretch, trying to read her. Titillated by the mystery of her.

Her gaze returned to him, guarded this time, measuring. "You're a God, then?"

He gave her a slow, wicked smile. "God of Mischief, at your service." He swept her mocking little bow.

There was a beat of silence while she stood there looking at him speculatively. Then she repeated, simply, "Mischief."

And that little light of humor came back into her eyes.

... ... ...

"And you are?"

God, that voice was incredible. Deep and velvety. Sexy. A little threatening. Utterly unnerving.

Sig looked up at the Asgardian in the cell across from hers. "Depends on who you ask," she replied evasively.

His blue-green eyes narrowed. He leaned forward slightly, hands clasped behind his back. Wavy black hair spilled over one broad shoulder. "I asked you."

Well played, Sig, she chastised herself silently. "It's not important."

One black brow arched sardonically. What a damned aristocrat he was. She could see it in every angle of his body.

Sighing, she gave him a pointed look, letting her gaze flick slightly upward. Cameras.

He frowned.

He knew she was planning something. She'd let him see it in her eyes. He was clever, she'd known that immediately. Calculated. Observant. It was there in his face. The expressive lips. The feline way he held his body. But mostly it was the eyes. Sharp with intellect. Penetrating.

Beautiful, really.

Just play along, pretty boy. I might even help you out.

She saw the moment he decided to do it. He rocked back slightly on his heels, watching her expectantly.

The outer door clicked open. Loki's gaze shifted toward the sound.

Here we go...

A large man with dark skin strode into the room. With the eyepatch and the black leather trench-coat, he looked like some kind of intergalactic pirate Captain. He was human though. Not a trace of magic in his aura. Behind him came the woman from before, plus a large, muscular blonde man in Asgardian armor.

Great, another one.

Sig felt the buzz of elemental magic, smelled a whiff of ozone as they approached. The Asgardian fairly crackled with power, but it was Pirate-Captain who took the lead.

"It seems you've come to our humble planet in search of something," he said without preamble. "You might have chosen a friendlier approach."

"I'm in a bit of a hurry," she replied. And then, looking between Pirate-Captain and the big Asgardian, "Are eye-patches a new trend on Earth these days?"

He ignored that. "You told Natasha you came for your friend."

"I did. I'd appreciate it if you gave her back. We'll be out of your hair directly. No damage done."

Sig fought not to laugh at his look of incredulity. "No damage done? You crashed your ship into our lawn and tore up half an acre of the grounds, then you fired on our front door and nearly killed half a dozen of my guards."

"Nearly being key term."

He glowered. "Your friend is a wanted criminal. An intergalactic criminal. She's charged with genocide and the destruction of no less than a four planets."

"Wow, good records. I didn't realize the Confederation had such a long memory. Most of that stuff happened thousands of years ago."

"People tend not to forget mass genocide and planetary destruction," he said dryly.

"You'd be surprised."

He gave her a look of complete consternation.

"The records are wrong, though," Sig went on reasonably. "Mad wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. She's a pacifist of the highest order."

Fury frowned, "There's evidence--"

"It's false."

His lips compressed, nostrils flaring angrily. "If she didn't do it, then perhaps you'd be so kind as to tell us who did?"

Sig smiled. "That's easy. It was me."

[the-firebird69]

This is one of the better labels I've seen and it was vga. Our son was trying to read it it couldn't figure it out and he didn't drink too much it was labeled a little weird but that's how people like it it's not true but it works and it legitimized it and our label would be better but really when you're drinking it it says beer it's an odd feeling you don't care who makes the damn thing you don't want the damn thing in your face oh I'm friends with bud oh I'm friends with the chorus guy no I just want a beer and it works a lot of people really liked it and DJ noticed it's not even about brand loyalty in that case they want a beer it's nice so a lot of people looked at the brewery trying to see if it's the one they drink and it was Brian's and he says he might try it and it's kind of a less expensive proposition equipment's keeper and they're trying to do evil stuff and you can switch it over and make chemicals for devices and they're trying to do that but it's going to start off this stuff and it's probably going to be a real rat race and our son and daughter already said it too you'll be over here we'll be over here but then you'll be over here I will drive by you and you'll wake up with the vibrations and stuff like that wouldn't that be a hoot if the max just left it alone mess around with it so we are going to try a few ideas like this yes

Thor Freya

And back to the car I like this idea though this this beer company idea it should work and we're going to try it and make it mobile just nowhere and everything can go even our place cuz you can't draw them all in so we are going to go ahead with it and it's a good way to smuggle stuff. But we're going to start with factories what a great idea

Hera

I don't think you guys are hearing me I don't want you drawing out the dragons who are nuts and he wants to know my rank my identification number and location or will find you and I sort of get something and not small and I have stuff but don't tell you what it is I was saying no and stuff like that it says well you know we might have some big machines near you you say no too much you might feel a little pain and so I get that see how that works my problem for you is a solution for me do you like that treatment day after day we're going to do it to you you're going to be insomniacs and your a****** bunkers so get ready for it I don't like how this is going and what he's saying nobody has what they want they're all beating us up and yeah we kind of played it and it's going to be we're going to have to take our lumps he says you won't overcome it and it's not being arrogant and he just knows what he has and what these people are doing already is working sufficiently to wipe us out you don't have any time for this so just make what they want the military areas and the rebels are a bunch of nutcases we're going to disappear

Macs

That's kind of what it's going to turn into and this idea right here is going to make it so we have chance to do things down there we need to we like it and you almost can't stop them from doing it this is warlock and they have a bunch of old machines they're real big and don't go real fast they do go like 100 miles an hour safely and they can put factories in for all sorts of stuff any suggests like whiskey and cigars and I can't believe it but they're going ahead with it I'll tell you what this is one that's working

Thor Freya

We might start off the kit factory and have different kit makers on board it's like some sort of a way to do it and the leaders of course it's set it up and let people do it and we've helped with security and have a combined security force. It says the people are bad we won't put them in jail or prison or trial unless they kill someone and then they have to be held but you put them into a different area and they do work still. And when they get out if it's less than murder they just get out I don't think we have murder they have to face their own people and so I like that that's not bad.

Thor Freya

What are you saying is we go to work there if we're caught stealing and stuff we go into this more isolated area and we do different kind of work that's at tables and we have three square day and we sleep well and we can play card games and stuff in the tour is only 2 weeks and we get out or we can petition to get out early because we did something bad that sounds really good and only if it's murder like in the first degree you having a fight or something you go into the place and the guys revived then you both get released and you handle yourself I like my way better and he says I think it's nice and it's smarter if it's permanent murderer and we get that too

Jason

You know what this sounds like a good idea and we're not purposely murdering some but he says you can't take the veil away here and you need all these steps I certainly follow something I I do follow that there's no punishment for it it fits it man with compelled to more people will be compelled to do things this is just for to confined space and we have some rules like that there and we kept apart and you would do that so good idea and he would have different things for people to do there's a time for writing letters to your people so you get out you give him 10 letters this is going to be nice it's really not bad and you have brakes and like four brakes during it 8 hour work day and then lunch and I understand something working is real hard but they'd have a decent environment and we work on it together I want to try this and he wants to try it I'm going to suggest a car it'll be the Chrysler and we might be able to add the dagger and boy that would be fun but he says that Christ was still going and it is and it might hurt the business so I have to do like a one of my other cars and I made a few cars when is the coyote and I was the one making the Vader but he says Vader is a nutcase car and it's way to the top and anything's Lamborghini would be easy even easier that's a good idea and Lamborghini would heat it up but I think we'll start with the coyote x it says perfect it's a good idea so I might start my factory up

Trump

And yeah people want to try and get the car out there to protect the factory to try and get the places

Bja

Olympus

[indelibleevidence]

3x08 Thoughts

This episode has so much going on the whole way through - this show is so good at mid-season showdowns! Love it.

Hirst is such a great villain. Wonder how she got so good at the corrupt side of things? I wish she'd been on the loose for longer, because she's so interesting (also, way better than Madeline!).

Crawford finally shows up in this episode, and he's pretty unsettling. It's strange to see Roman handle him so well. I don't think season two Roman would have been able to, and I kinda wish they hadn't gone the slick manipulator route with his character, because that was supposed to be Remi's thing. And like Shepherd said to him in season 2: 'You could never do what she does.' Maybe the ZIP gave him a personality overhaul. 🙄

Reade is pretty brutal to Kurt in the interrogation room, and it makes me sad that they keep bringing Reade back to this 'you were a better person before you met Jane' place, several times throughout the show. I guess he associates Jane's arrival in his life with things starting to fall apart - losing Sarah, losing Mayfair, finding out about the abuse he repressed the memories of, being buried under rubble, the drugs, then the whole team disbanding. It would have been nice to have Reade and Jane talk it out post-4x22. It always seems like he's more Kurt's friend than Jane's, in an 'I'm not a big fan of your wife, but I care about our friendship too much to keep bringing it up, because I know you'll never leave her' way.

Rich signing Hirst's papers with 'suck it' is total genius. 😁 In fact, his whole interrogation room attitude is just classic Rich. The whole 'we've been having sex in the vents and on the rotating platform where you scanned Janes tattoos' thing is so much fun.

I'm confused that Boston is suddenly missing. Two years ago, they had him in prison, and got him to do the undercover thing at Daedalus. Kurt offers to move him to a prison closer to his parents, who were having trouble visiting him, in return for his cooperation with the mission. The last we see of him, he's watching Rich get loaded into an ambulance, and he and Patterson talk about the sculpture he made. And then in the two-year time jump he was working on Wizardville with Patterson, but Rich can't find him, somehow? Guess he got out of prison pretty quickly.

It was so sweet to see the team laughing and joking with Rich at the end of the episode, like it was the first time they treated him like a part of the team and not just an irritating coworker they had to deal with. And Rich really is making choices to be good Rich. ❤ Even if he does have an escape route from the FBI planned out for every day of the week.

If you didn't notice, Rich's contact name for Zapata's cell phone number is What's-Her-Name. 😁😁😁

The latex mask is so creepy, and I 100% agree with Patterson that Rich uses it for more than just escape attempts (eww). Not sure why someone in their 80s would be doing janitorial work at the FBI, so maybe the agents should have questioned that. O_o Oh well, they're dead agents now. Wonder what Hirst had on them.

It was nice to see Brianna redeem herself a little bit for the 2x22 mistake - not that she actually knew what she was doing...

One of Patterson's reasons why it was weird for Zapata to be crushing on Reade was, 'he's Reade'. Ouch. 😁

Blake has such a good 'oh my god, I'm gonna jump your bones the second I get you alone' look, while Roman is standing up to her father. I really like Blake. They could have made her an annoying socialite with no depth, and have Roman hate every minute he had to spend with her. But instead they made her a kindred spirit, kept on the sidelines while the abusive parent did nefarious things. Even if Blake doesn't know that's what her father is doing, she does know something's not right, though we don't see that until a bit later on.

All of Jane's 'there's nothing Roman can do to get between us' moments are so sweet. She really believes it, until she doesn't.

And it was nice to see Kurt finally taking a stand against Roman, refusing to kill Hirst, then removing Roman's Berlin leverage. Maybe Reade's jab about not being an incorruptible super-agent anymore hit home. Yes, I hate that the Berlin thing is canon, but Kurt needed that moment of 'enough is enough'.

Jane telling Kurt he's not a killer, in his dream, is a nice reversal of the 2x03 'you're not Taylor Shaw, but you're not a killer either' moment.

[captainkurosolaire]

Prompt #27 ~ Warfare

♫Till I Die♫

The fall of Garlemald's effects ran-through out the realm suddenly the shift of power had been flipped over. As many of the countrymen deserted, or those scattered, were pursued. Now they understood what it was like to be the spoils to war. Hunter's turned to prey. A privateer ship supporting under the banner of the Crimson. Chased pursued in the open seas of an attempted escape, a remnant squadron. Their division shattered as their Empire was crumbling to dust. The divisional commander of her ship was taking huge mortar's although the sea-vessel was sturdy and advanced, was taking blows, her men were taking hefty causalities, hearing in screams. They couldn't flee from this. In the fang's of revenge, under the skies of war, monsters were born. The people who once felt were fighting for righteousness, become no-better. These Privateer's were rejoicing. "Commander. Two more alliance accompanying vessels of the opposition have ascended over waves, we've nowhere to go!" The morale of her people were descending. "We've deserved this outcome. It was an honor." Her sentimental tone, spoke they'd rather imperial salute each-other, and commit suicide before becoming prisoners. Right in their contemplated end. The shift was about to turn again.

"A third vessel had wedged between the middle of their reinforcements!" Was shortly called out, giving them further, resolve of hopelessness, before... "Wait. The middle-vessel is bombarding the others!" Suddenly a massive ship rising over tides, removing the fake red Maelstrom banner had been withdrawn into an iconic pirate flag hoisted. Upon the bow-spirit was a tricorne-man. Treading past the destruction of two smaller privateers vessels. The ambush assault left them fodder out-maneuvered. Gathered man, etched in warpaint, they were banned ready for a fight. To intervene between this naval battle. The Seeker leapt back to his decks to bolster. "I would ask ye my Crew, within my helm. T' PRAY for yer enemies. Give them an early moment of silence. For these poor unfortunate soul's will b' educated, they'll earn their red-coats upon this Sun!" He roared and screamed with a warrior shout That followed behind others. "Give Boy-Lad his sea-legs. Let him earn his stripes t' walk over bones!" A crippled and amputated legless fighter crawled on the floor in disbelief, as Sol made augmented prosthetic legs. Unified chaos positioned, to invade the vessel of the privateer from behind. "Aid th' carrier of Garlean's, give all others no-quarter!" Viciously a stampede of leaps was drawn, it was anarchy. Projectiles flung back and forth, sniper shots from the crow's nest of the Worldly Finder started picking off them. Each Crewmate nearly about to be butchered by an opposition was protected by another, they fought as sword and shield, and reversed the roles. Rallied by a leader who was believed-long-flung dead. The brute Seeker skirmishes an assortment of parries to one of the swashbucklers before pulling out a sheathed revolver in the other hand and angling it under his chin and pulling the trigger in a massacre. Completely butchery. Blood of not his own making savagely drew over his face. As he bellowed another victoriously battle-cry that kept even his own injuries gaining on Crew to fight-on. The Garlean's left their hunker, to unity in bewilderment anyone would fight under their behalf. The Captain was almost executed by an aimed shot musketeer but was shot back by an assault rifle of the imperialist. The buccaneer brought terrifying laughter. "THEIR NUMBERS ONLY GIVE US MORE HEADS T' ROLL!" Not only bolstering morality to his own fighters, but also was making hesitation and fear start wearying the grip's of his oppositions, a tactician of dirty behavior. How long have they gotten to do anything they wanted? Or used the excuse of the Garlemald for them to justify or blame their heinous antics? These seas held no discrimination. Yet being constantly corrupted. Putrid borders, barriers for entries, they started skewering Beast Tribes because they strictly took advantage of the Calamity. They put a price-tag on the seas, owning it. Law and restricting and it's no different than what Captain's seen before, they're vindictive and greed-coated. Yet unlike Garlemald who were openly wanting to conqueror, the Maelstrom and Grand Companies alike played fantasy pretend. They're unbeatable, the good! Couldn't do any wrongs, existed of no poison. Bullshit, in war there was no such thing. It's a contest of ego. How many times had the Captain seen a Maelstrom get promoted after they violated his kinsmen, while preaching they were pirates... How many times did he watch them do nothing as people plead in the dirty-alleys before a gal went abducted and missing. These seas would find freedom from vile. Disarray and unorganized, suddenly being attacked by two-sides, the privateer's were being annihilated. Counter measured every-time they brought their marine scholars out, their magic was cancelled by the Historian of the Goldbrand, the purest faith in the Twelve, who brought them no harm, other than silencing their spells. The God's weren't on their side, they belonged to this pirate. That fiendish outcast hound of an Xaela, who ghoulishly shrieked, was feasting on arm's while slewing them in beheaded messes. A Quartermaster

followed by impaling them and hurling the smaller runt's of the enemies. Captain leapt up off that mountain of a Hellsguard on his Crew and bounced off his shoulders dexterously onto the stern. Exchanging in runaways some jumping overboard. "Draw them from th' seas back up here! Their corpses is unworthy t' share with the benthos!" Angry swarming came to their noisy vocalized leader. If they could just behead that blasted vermin then all of them would crumble to despair. He played defensively and evaded one of them about to slayed, was sniped from afar. The handicapped soldier got a puncturing stab on one of the men to protect his Captain before collapsing as his new leg's were already damaged and punctured. The Seeker picked up the adrenaline as blood cut's were protruding from his cheek. He threw his coat onto one of them and jabbed a series of quick deft dirks. A swishing blade came again as he relied on his above-feline scents. The thing he was mocked for by these giants. Doing a handstand leg, disarm from twisting the wrist of the deathly aggressor. The Seeker rolled away and jumped off the stern and swung a leap into the cabin, where he saw the frantic Head-Captain of this enemy helm, run-into, gathering up belongings to attempt plotting retreat. Unexpectedly a flintlock shot at his leg making him fall over all his glistening golds and gil he was trying to rummage into a burlap sack like a coward trying to recollect himself. He brought his own gun out but was disarmed by the wrist from another firearm shot, "Cap'n Daniwyrn... Ye have lost your sense. Recall me." These two knew each-other full and well, this was more than just a one-sided squabble, now. It held harboring emotion. "...Yer supposed t' b' blimey dead!" The callus blood-thirsty Seeker lowered his arm. "Dead is what ye did t' someone I loved. Well, I got yer message. Ye saw t' remove her head cause she moved t' me. If you couldn't have her, neither ov' us could." He lectured in all this chaos-warfare and took a menacing seat. "See, I am not here for revenge on you. This goes beyond that. Now, ye made a crime, sin I find very offensive..." The sea-wolf tried regaining himself while trying to also slowly scoot his bottom and get back his disarmed gun. Knowing was about to be sentenced to a horrific death, or believed. "You have tainted these seas, Daniwyrn. The punishment fer losing your sense. Is crueler than death by my hand. It's t' live as such." He shot the ear's respectively of the privateer. Then the Seeker stood up. Fiendishly brought out his coeurl toothed carved dagger and carved out eye to eye from his enemy. While he was screaming in anguish and incomprehensible pain never able to reel back. He cut that tongue like a fleeting ribbon.

Taking the senses of someone who lacked senses firstly. A fitting treatment, barbarically exercised. He bathed in all the blood over his inferior feline frame. "I know you can't hear me, see, nor speak, though I'm also a nice-guy, I'll leave ye with yer gun... if get the opportunity you should kill yourself." He'd savagely trail, beating his enemy who barely was functioning, stuck in a haze, discombobulated, suffering severe blood-loss. Loading and priming the revolver with one bullet, he'd force it into the arm's of his blind foe and make him squeeze it. Captain walked out as if this was just a regular circumstance. The duty of returning. Closing the cabin door. Hearing a procedure gun-shot ring-throughout. A signal was overhead horned, "They've got more crimson reinforcements!" The battle sizzled and the sparks were over. "Let us gather up, plunder post-haste. Burn this shite down." They took the Garlemald survivors and retreated, licking wounds but won victorious.

[wondereads]

Personal Review (09/19/21)

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Why am I reviewing this book?

I first read this book in freshman year when it was the only book my entire book club liked. Now, it's really grown in popularity and a TV show has come out, so it seemed like a great time to reread it (because I didn't remember a thing) and finally finish the duology.

Plot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Six criminal teenagers pull off a heist to break someone out of the most secure prison in the world for a prize that could solve all their problems. They are lead by Kaz Brekker, a thief so ruthless he verges on urban legend, and consist of Inej, an acrobat-turned-spy paying off her indenture, Jesper, a sharpshooter with a gambling addiction, Nina, a heartrender who'll flirt with anything with a pulse, Matthias, a disgraced witch hunter in it for a pardon, and Wylan, a demolitions expert with no field experience.

The plot is so incredibly fast-paced. Even at the beginning, when the scene is being set and they're just preparing for the trip, gang stand-offs and long-standing grudges keep the story moving. The heist itself is one of the most ingenious, chaotic things I've ever read, and then it ends with a horrible cliffhanger that will make you instantly pick up the next book. In case you can't wrap your mind around it, the Ice Court Heist is so clever it takes me a moment to understand how the characters get from Point A to Point B, and yet I never once stopped in confusion because things were explained as they went.

My only complaint is that it relies a little heavily on the worldbuilding established in Shadow and Bone. For example, Nina's powers, while exemplified throughout the book, are never really explained. I remember when I read it for the first time that I had no idea what a Grisha was, and I kind of just had to pick up context clues because there is no definition given.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

The character development in this book is impeccable. Each of the six gets their own arc (complete with a tragic backstory), and their development is worked into the plot, which forces them to face their troubles straight on. Buckle in, this is a long section.

Kaz, everyone's favorite, heartless, teenage mob boss, who starts off so unemotional at the beginning, gradually begins to allow himself to feel again. It's only for Inej, not everyone, but it's a start. His backstory is absolutely horrific, and, even though he is the self-titled Bastard of the Barrel, you find yourself rooting for him.

Inej's revelation in the incinerator shaft (yes, that is an actual part of the book) made me want to cheer. After so many aimless years, I was so proud of her to have established a clear goal for herself, and such a badass one too. I also appreciated that she set some clear boundaries with Kaz since a lot of YA romances tend to just throw away those sorts of reasonable concerns in favor of ~true love~.

Jesper makes me hurt. I really feel for him; he's the prime example of a kid in too deep, and I think if any of them got their money I would want it to be him so he can fix his past mistakes and start again. Besides that, he's a funny character that isn't reduced to comic relief, and I like action best from his perspective.

Nina is a walking easter egg for fans of Shadow and Bone. I didn't realize it my first go because I hadn't read the original trilogy, but the number of times she name-drops a character or event from there...I loved it. She's a levelheaded, badass woman who's comfortable in sexuality but not oversexualized. I do wish she'd gotten some more attention here, but I do know that the bulk of her arc is in Crooked Kingdom.

Matthias grew on me. I didn't like him much, but he presented an interesting dilemma–loyalty to love or loyalty to home. I liked watching the struggle between his beliefs and what he's been taught and the new friends he's made and their contrasting lifestyles. I also appreciate that he is the #1 simp for the girls in the group.

Finally, Wylan is a bit tough. There are no chapters from his perspective in the first book, which makes sense because he's got some information that would spoil everything. Still, he was absolutely hilarious in my opinion and his gradual corruption through his time spent with the crows was great. I mean, this fifteen-year-old kid wanted to wake up guards so Jesper could kill them guilt-free.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

The writing is really good. It shifts nicely between the more serious and humorous scenes. I think the romance is written very well. There's quite a bit of it and yet it never overpowers the plot. I never had a moment of "please dear god we get it you're in love let's move on now", which is something that plagues YA.

As for the humor, it was really good in this book. There were points I had to hold back a snort because I was in class, and each of the characters, even Kaz and Matthias, got a chance for a fun one-liner or sarcastic quip. "My ghost won't associate with your ghost."

Meaning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 N/A

Be gay do crime. I'd say I'm just kidding but this book pretty much says breaking into a prison for a bounty is okay if you and your friends really need the money.

Overall 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

This book was great the first time and amazing the second time. It was well written, it was fast-paced, it was funny, it made me feel, it was all the things a good book should be. It's probably one of the best YA adventure books out there, and any adult would probably be able to read this and enjoy it. There's a reason it's so popular! I would recommend this book to people who enjoy heists, three-dimensional characters, and morbid humor.

The Author

Leigh Bardugo: 46, Israeli-American, Jewish, also wrote Shadow and Bone and Ninth House

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

[orange-waterfalls]

Hello, Nurse

Yancy x mute!gender neutral!reader

@glitchbitch69 ty for the prompt!

A/N: I heard that mute was an offensive word... but I didn't know what else to use... reader is a person who cannot talk. That's the best way I can put it. @glitchbitch69 I am 99% sure this is not what you asked for but here??? I did my best. Rated T for a couple "fuck"s and like... 2 "shit"s.

Word Count: 2.5k

--

Yancy enjoyed prison life. He loved his family, the food was good, the cells were comfortable, Shithole Hank's hooch wine was fucking wonderful, it was almost perfect.

Almost.

Apart from the fact that he wanted a companion

A spouse.

A life partner.

Whatever you want to call it.

One day, he notices someone new. Someone he hadn't seen before. Which was very weird because he knew everybody. They all practiced their musical number every Thursday.

He decides to introduce himself, so he follows you to wherever you're headed. You end up in the infirmary.

"Hello, there." He greets. You turn to him, slightly surprised. He's smiling at you, and not in a malicious way like you'd probably expect from a man who killed both of his parents. It's a sweet smile. A "I want you to feel as comfortable as possible" smile. You return it and wave.

"I haven't seen youse around here before. Youse new?" He asks. You nod. He raises an eyebrow

"Alright… what's youse's name?" You gently tap the name card on your chest.

"Hm. What's youse's favorite color?"

You point to your shoes.

"What's youse's favorite animal?"

You point to the animal poster on your wall.

"What's youse's favorite season?"

You point to the background of your computer. He huffs.

"What, can't youse talk?" He jokes. You shake your head.

"Oh…" he clears his throat, suddenly feeling very awkward. You make a gesture with your hands. He furrows his eyebrows. You huff and grab a Post-It note, writing something down and handing it to him. He looks at it and sees that you wrote "it's okay". He chuckles.

"Must be hard being a nurse and not being able to communicate with your patients," he comments. You roll your eyes, and wave it off. You write something else on a Post-It and hand it to him. "I can handle it" He smiles.

"Yeah, I bet." He glances back up at you. "So, uh… do--" he was cut off by two guards bursting into the infirmary with a man of a gurney. You rush past Yancy to see what's happening. Yancy follows you to see who it is. You make another gesture at the guards.

"He collapsed while in his cell. He won't wake up," one explains. You grab Yancy by the arm and lead him out, closing the door. He stands there for a moment before deciding it'd be best to head to his cell. He runs into Sparkles McGee on the way there.

"Hey, Yance!" He greets. Yancy smiles at him.

"Hey," He responds and they start to walk together

"Where ya headed?" Sparkles asks.

"Y'know… to my cell…"

"Already? It's only 7:00…"

"Well, I'm tired…"

"Hm… alright…"

"Hey…" Yancy stops walking. Sparkles, who was in front, turns to him, tilting his head. "Do you… know about any nurse?"

"You mean Y/N? Oh, yeah, they've been here for a couple of days," Sparkles responds.

"Really? How come I didn't know?"

"Well, you didn't really have a reason to. You don't get into a lot of fights and you don't get hurt so…"

"So… if I wanted to see the nurse… I'd have to get hurt…"

"Well, I wouldn't say you have to. You could just… talk to them?" Sparkles looks at Yancy weirdly. Yancy apparently did not hear that last sentence because the dumbass immediately went off to find a way to get hurt. He could get Jimmy the Pickle to punch him… that seemed like a solid plan. Yeah. He'll do that. He sits on his bed and thinks about what he's gonna say when he sees you again.

"Hey there!" No, too excited… "Howdy!" No, too awkward… "Sup" Nah, too "I want to be cool so you don't leave me". Just a simple "Hey" that's it. He sighs and lies down. He closes his eyes, letting sleep overtake him.

--

The next day, during breakfast, he sees you. He waves to you, but you don't see him. He figures that's a good time to start his plan.

"Hey, uh… I gotta do somethin'... See you guys later," he slides the rest of his breakfast over to Tiny, who promptly devours it. He meets Jimmy in a hallway.

"You got the stuff?" Jimmy asks. Yancy nods. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small lavender candle. Jimmy takes it, putting it into his pocket.

"Now it's your turn. Don't do it too-" Jimmy just straight decks him. He does miss his nose, but he nearly dislocates the smaller man's jaw.

--

Yancy wakes up and opens his eyes, but quickly closes them again due to the bright light in front of his face. He slowly opens them again, allowing himself to adjust to the light. He turned his head slightly, eyes widening when he sees you scribbling on a clipboard. He begins to smile, but stops because it hurts. He reaches up to feel his cheek. Jimmy really did a number on him…

You glance at him, noticing he's awake. You set down your clipboard and pencil and walk over to him, smiling gently. He gives you a half-grin in return.

"Hey there, hot stuff," he says, voice slightly cracking. Damn, I fucked it up, he thinks. You snort and pick up a sheet of paper, along with the clipboard. You write something down and hand it to him. It seems to be a little quiz.

"On a scale from 1-10, how much does it hurt?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10"

He gently touches his cheek, wincing at the coldness of his fingers. He circles the number "4" and hands the paper back to you. You look at his answer and nod. You go get some supplies to give him a checkup and make sure everything else is ok.

As you perform the tests, you can clearly see his cheeks turning a light shade of pink whenever you touch him. A couple minutes pass, and you finish your check-up. Apart from a few slow reactions, he seems fine. They're probably because he was punched unconscious. You walk over to put your items away. He exhales deeply.

"So… uh…" he starts. You turn to him. "...do anything fun recently?" You roll your eyes and turn away. He pouts and crosses his arms. "Oh, come on! I'm doin' my best here!" You smack your lips and turn to him fully, making sure to obviously shake your head. He scoffs and mumbles something under his breath. You continue putting away supplies. When you turn back to him, he looks a bit upset. You frown, suddenly feeling guilty. You grab the same sheet of paper as before and jot down a couple of questions. You fold the paper, slipping it into his hand as you escort him out of the infirmary.

Yancy heads back to his cell and sits down, feeling gloomy. He takes the paper you gave him and opens it. It's seems like a little quiz. And the bottom, you wrote "I'd like to know you better, so here" and a small heart next to it. Yancy smiles widely and starts filling in answers.

You two write letters to each other back and forth, since you were usually busy in the infirmary. You learned a lot about him. He killed his parents and that's why he was in jail. That should have thrown you off waaaaay more than it did. You learned that him and all the other prisoners wrote a song and performed for new inmates. The practice was on Thursdays. You occasionally go and watch if you're not busy. The first time you went, he saw you out of the corner of his eye and smiled to himself while trying to get the newest inmate to stop fucking up the dance routine.

You two start to fall for each other.

For you, it was almost instant. You saw him singing and dancing and your heart just sped up.

For him, it took a bit. He was hesitant to trust you since you worked at the prison. He thought maybe you were only being nice so he wouldn't kill you. Which he would never, but you didn't know that. It bummed him out, until you covered for him when he got into a fight. You let Mr. Murder-Slaughter know that he had fallen , not gotten into a fight. For some reason, he took your word for it. Said you "looked trustworthy". That was about the time Yancy actually fell for you. Not a crush, no. This soft prison boy loves you with all his heart. That was a couple nights ago. You two had sent more letters since then.

He's reading the newest one in bed while he's supposed to be sleeping, giggling like a schoolgirl. He clutches the paper to his chest and sighs contently. He wipes his forehead, feeling a bit warm, but he ignores it. He would write you a new letter in the morning.

--

He wakes up in the morning, feeling like absolute shit. He tries to sit up, but his brain spins and screams at him to lie the hell back down. He obliges, only to suddenly go into a coughing fit. His body racks with the force, and he feels like his lungs are filled with something other than air. A guard enters his cell.

"Hey, you ok?" He asks. Yancy tries to answer, but goes into another fit and falls off of the bed. The guard rushes over to him.

"Whoa, ok… we gotta get you to the infirmary… c'mon," the guard tries to help Yancy to his feet, but his legs won't let him put any weight onto them. He groans as his head pounds, begging to lay back down. The guard manages to drag him to the infirmary, where he's plopped onto a bed. You turn, wondering what the commotion is. You gasp at the sight of Yancy. You make hand gestures at the guard. Yancy had been studying up on sign language, so he understood that you were saying "what's wrong?". The guard begins explaining what happened as Yancy begins to close his eyes. He lets himself slip out of consciousness.

--

He wakes back up to the smell of food. Chicken noodle soup? He hadn't eaten that since he was 11. He slowly turns to the side and sees a steaming bowl next to him, along with a small bottle of Gatorade. He looks around the room, searching for you. He sees you behind you computer. He tries to say "hi", but his body decides to say "fuck you" and make him hack his lungs out. You perk up at the sound, quickly walking over to him holding a whiteboard. You take a marker and write down "how do you feel?"

"Like… shit…" he croaks out. You smile sympathetically and write something else, showing to him.

It says "I convinced Mr. Murder-Slaughter to let me make you chicken noodle soup. I hope you like it. You might want to wait until it's cooled. I also bribed a guard into sneaking me Gatorade." He nods as you grab some objects and sit next to him.

You open your mouth, hoping he gets the memo. It takes him a moment, but he understands. You push his tongue with a stick and search his throat. What for, he has no clue. You eventually take it out and pick up a thermometer. He takes it in his mouth. You both sit quietly for a moment, waiting for it to go off. Yancy takes this opportunity to try and memorize every detail of your face. Were your eyes always so sparkly? He began to think he was hallucinating. The thermometer beeps, and you remove it from his mouth. You frown.

"What? Bad?" He asks. You turn the thermometer towards him so he can see the temperature. 108. "Oh… bad…" you shake your head and get an ice pack from a freezer, laying it on his head as you perform more tests. Once your done, he starts eating the soup, joyfully. It's all gone in the span of 30 seconds, along with the Gatorade. You blink at him before he crosses his arms and turns away.

"'s not my fault youse made it so good…" he grumbles. You smile, sitting next to him.

He turns back to you, a small grin appearing on his face. You two stare at each other for a moment before he reaches out, putting his hand on your neck. You glance at his hand, wondering what he's doing. He leans in. You lean in as well out of instinct. He closes his eyes because you're right there! You begin to close your eyes before you scramble to your feet, stepping away from him. He holds his hand in the air, a bit startled with your sudden disappearance. You stand and look at him, breathing harshly. Yancy groans and covers his face with his hands.

"Oh, I'm so stupid. Of course you don't like me," he says. "Why would you? I'm a scumbag…" you shake your head, immediately feeling regret for how you acted. You frantically look for your whiteboard. When you find it, you write something down and tap Yancy on the shoulder. He looks at you, tears brimming in the corners of his eyes. You hold the whiteboard in front of him. It says "108". He looks at the board, then at you, wondering what it means. You stare at him, expecting him to catch on at some point. He doesn't. You roll your eyes. You point at the board, then at him. He knits his eyebrows together in thought, before raising them and gasping.

"OOOOH, IT'S BECAUSE I'M SICK!" He yells. You nod forcefully. "Wait… so, you do like me?" He asks. You smile and nod. His face darkens. "O-Oh… well, uh… I like you too?" You erase the whiteboard and write "I know". He chuckles as you continue to smile.

--

A little while later, you deem Yancy ready to go back in his cell. He gets slightly upset because he liked spending so much time with you, but he was so glad he wasn't sick anymore. It's a bit late when you lead him back, so he decides to go to bed. He crawls in, covering himself in the blanket and you start to leave.

"Goodnight!" He calls. You smile and wave at him. He snuggles in and closes his eyes. He suddenly feels his shoulder being shaken as he tries to sleep. He turns to whoever's bothering him and almost decks you in the face. "Wha-" he starts. He's cut off by you leaning forward and gently kissing him on the forehead. He plops back down and gazes at you loving. You softly pat his chest as you start to leave again. You pause and turn back towards him, making a gesture with your hands. He doesn't know much sign language, but he does know what this means.

"I love you".

He smiles and makes the gesture back to you, making you smile. You turn and head back to the infirmary. Yancy sighs happily as he falls asleep.

--

The next morning, he meets you near the infirmary. He's about to say hi, but you frown, holding your arm up to your face. He stops, not knowing what's going on.

You sneeze.

You slowly turn to him, glaring. He nervously chuckles.

"Uh… sorry?"

[im-illegal]

soft asks to get to know people!!Do-em-all?

I KNEW I KEPT THIS ASK IN MY INBOX FOR A REASON I KNEW ID FIND THE ASK GAME AGAIN ONE DAY HERE YOU ARE FINALLY I DID NOT FORGET

1. what song makes you feel better?

currently,,, Old Black Train by The Blasting Company

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

just give me some studio-ghibli

3. what’s your favorite candle scent?

lemon :]

4. what flower would you like to be given?

I saw some trans flag colored orchids once I think those'd be pog

5. who do you feel most you around?

uhhh Here or around a friend i haven't seen around in a while

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

1) I actually really like my long hair

2) I got fuckin eyebrows for days

3) i have. thigh pillows

1) I'm nice or I'd like to think I am

2) I'm good at some things

3) I like the fact that I like hot cocoa

7. what color brings you peace?

a pastel yellow or the colour my blog is rn

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

too lazy

9. what calms you down?

hm,, uh,, sometimes playing minecraft, sometimes drawing, watching streams has been pretty calming, and a select set of music and specific podcast episodes

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

honestly I am very exited for ranboo seeing dream in the prison atm

11. what’s your ideal date?

stars n lookin at em probably

12. how are you?

sick and not as in cool

13. what’s your comfort food?

hm,, carbs,, sopapillas w honey n powdered sugar

14. favorite feel-good show?

haikyuu!! maybe,, or adventure time

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

am confusion

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

you're very lovely and a very good friend

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

uhh LED only if they have very low colour settings otherwise fairy lights because I can't handle a lot of light and they're pretty dim and look nice

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes I have a very nice stuffed fox and cat in a noodle cup

19. most important thing in your life?

uhh fuck if i know either my tumblr minecraft im djsjjs idk

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

not to be sick? or at least have a vauge idea of what temperature my body is at I am surving off of being buried under a blanket on one side while my other side has a fan pointed at it

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

know your own strength you'll feel guilty about it later if you don't

22. what would you say to your future self?

does that fic end any good?

23. favorite piece of clothing?

collage sweater that my grandma sent and I kinda took it smells like her house which is comforting

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

Sleep or listen to the same playlist I made for when im stressed

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

uh. hm. idk. uham. a playlist maybe would be. cool. rocks though. or a good stick yeah yeahhhh a stick a good stick

26. what movie would you want to live in?

uhahh howl movin castle

27. which character would you want to be?

calcifer :]

28. hugs or hand-holding?

hugs

29. morning, afternoon or night?

my brain sure wants to say night because I keep falling asleep at 3-4am because thats what is set as my auto-sleep schedule

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

warm but a fans still running in the background. petting a dog while half asleep. someone petting /my/ hair while half asleep. shitty mattresses.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I miss you Rio: Guarantee I miss you more Buster: State your case then Rio: 😍😍 Buster: That's a strong introduction, how are you gonna follow it through? Rio: 🤤🤤 Buster: I like the thread of your argument, I can't lie, but I still miss you more Buster: 'Cause a girl was flirting with me in the gym and after telling her all the ways she doesn't compare to you, how incomparable you are was, and is, all I could think about Rio: As much as I probably shouldn't encourage you to be rude to random girls Rio: I love that you do so Buster: She embarrassed herself long before I embarrassed her, reckoning she had a chance Rio: I know what you mean Rio: the stalker has been getting inventive today Buster: Tell me Rio: We're doing this whole project in comp sci about viruses and shit Rio: and they've sent a meant-to-be-creepy spam type email Rio: it's got attachments but Rio: I've not looked yet Buster: Send it to me, I'll open it for you Rio: I know it's unlikely they're that smart Rio: but what if it does have some computer-killing 👾 attached? Buster: Smart enough that we haven't worked out who they are yet Buster: but if it's a virus, I'll buy another laptop Rio: it seems ridiculous Rio: this proves it has to be someone at school now, at least Rio: it's not like I've posted about my fucking homework anywhere Buster: How big's that class? Buster: Can discount my sister and your brother already, like Rio: Don't Rio: you're about the only person I've not thought it could be at my craziest Rio: probably about 30 odd though, standard Buster: Baby, they're the crazy one and I'm not letting them drive you even slightly close to the edge Buster: Who do you know and who don't you, percentage wise? Rio: I thought I knew everyone in this school, this town Rio: you'd think if someone was as creepy as this, anyway, that you'd know, they'd fucking stick out a bit but no Buster: It ain't a film, there's no creepy music playing to give it away Rio: if it was, it'd be dragging Rio: time for the resolve and happy ending Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: You wanna try calling that helpline again? Rio: Maybe Rio: I just wanna talk to you Rio: that's more helpful Buster: It's the least bullshit lead we've had for ages, I'll find a way to narrow it down more somehow Buster: We've got an obsession with you in common, it'll be me who figures it out if any cunt can Rio: Yours is the only one I need Buster: If you need to stay here for a while I'll sort it with my parents, yours, school, whoever Buster: You know that Rio: I know Rio: it's more and more tempting to not leave every time I go Buster: I just want you to be able to take an actual deep fucking breath Buster: Like you said, the amount of time this has been going on is ridiculous Rio: I can forget about it, most of the time Rio: but it's when something new happens, unexpected Buster: I'll kill him when we work out who it is Buster: 'Til then, stay with me Buster: He never does fuck all when you're here Rio: At least that's quick Rio: too nice if anything, babe Rio: always say that about you Buster: It don't have to be quick or nice Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 🤤🤤 I rest my case Buster: I love you, that rests mine Buster: I'd do anything for you Rio: I love you so much Rio: I'd definitely be crazy without you, stalker or otherwise Buster: There's a fair chance I'd be stalking you too if things were any different between us Buster: I'd leave better presents though Rio: and I'd know it was you always Buster: 'Course Buster: I'd want you to know Rio: hence there's no world in which we ain't a thing Buster: [has bought her the most expensive and best ever anti virus software and all that jazz so sends her the deets like there you go] Rio: this really has everything Rio: thank you Buster: He ain't gonna be smart enough to get through that, I've been reading reviews since you told me Buster: And I have it too now so you don't have to worry about sending me whatever bullshit he does to you Rio: We can open it together then? Rio: [I think it shouldn't be camgirl moments but something @school to drive that home] Buster: Yeah, on the count of three Rio: [just some creeper shots all throughout the day up until that lesson] Rio: these are today, I'm 99% sure Rio: I swapped my bag Buster: Forget going there tomorrow, I'm booking you a flight here instead Buster: I'll think of a lie to tell my parents if you still don't want anyone else to know the truth Rio: there was always the possibility Rio: but now I know it's someone I really see in person Rio: every day Rio: jesus Buster: I meant what I said, I'm gonna find out who, whatever it takes Buster: I know it feels fucked, but it's good, that it's one of 30 classmates rather than the numbers of lads who watch your streams Rio: it's true Rio: but those lads could be anywhere in the world, not in the same room as me Buster: Which is why you shouldn't be in that room until we know which sick cunt it is Buster: Just give me some time, it's not like I don't have the money to throw at it Rio: I couldn't be there if I had to Rio: I don't even want to be here at home now Buster: How soon can you be at the airport? Rio: not for a while Rio: I mean, tonight, maybe Rio: what should I tell my mam? Buster: Tell her I'm having a breakdown, it wouldn't be the first time Buster: I'll trash the house for realism if it comes to it, like Rio: it'll keep her from being worried Rio: pissed off is fine, I'll deal with that when I can Buster: Exactly Buster: And Ava's at a friend's so I don't have to worry about scaring the shit out of her with my acting Buster: 'Cause it'd be stupid not to feed my parents the same lie Rio: You don't have to go that method Rio: but I wouldn't blame you Rio: I'm trying to keep my freak out internal because I'm looking after the twins and your sister is on her way Buster: I'm glad you're not on your own, even if the company is Nance Rio: I was kinda hoping someone took the homework too seriously and was pranking the whole class Rio: but nah, the email was more specific than I let on to her, of course Rio: even before the pictures Buster: 'Course you were Buster: He'd been quiet for a while Rio: really think he'd get bored at some point Rio: I never react, respond, everything they tell you Buster: Now isn't really the time for me to reiterate how stalkable you are again when I can do better with compliments Rio: the fact you can make me smile even at this time Buster: I can do better than that too, I'll make you forget about it Rio: yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I need that Rio: my head is all over the place Buster: You've got it, and whatever else you need Rio: I only feel really safe when I'm with you Buster: You are safe with me, but you won't have to leave until you're also safe everywhere else Buster: I'm gonna fix it Rio: yeah Buster: I know I've said it before but this time I swear Buster: He fucked up by giving us a decent clue Rio: it does narrow it down Rio: even if it isn't the class, and it's just the school in general Rio: that's the most we've ever had to go on Buster: Exactly Rio: but what do we do Rio: if we work it out Buster: I told you, I'll kill him Rio: so you're the only one that ends up in prison Buster: I'm not a fucking amateur, babe Rio: mm Rio: 🙄😏 Buster: Hilarious Buster: Nance will be a way more receptive audience though Rio: yeah, really in the mood for this study sesh now Buster: I can easily change hers if you wanna get out of it Rio: nah Rio: I need to keep things normal Rio: only just invited her over, it'd be weird to change my mind Buster: You can blame me for that as well, I don't give a shit Rio: I can't leave yet, like you said, distraction is probably a good thing Buster: Alright, what can I do to make it a more bearable one? Buster: [loads of her fave things getting delivered to this gaff like don't be scared to answer your door, look they are all from me, here's the order confirmations] Rio: I don't deserve you Buster: You don't deserve the bullshit he's putting you through, you've always deserved me Rio: I feel like I should just Rio: stop the streams Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Buster: Fuck that, we know he's from school Buster: Being able to see you every day pre-dates anything you've done online Buster: He could've known you since primary Rio: I guess Rio: but would he be bothered if there was less out there to stalk Buster: It's not your fault, Rio Buster: It can happen to anyone, you know that Rio: it's happening to me though Buster: Not 'cause of anything you've done Buster: Come on Rio: anyway Rio: I'm gonna enjoy all these treats Buster: Good Rio: how much should I bring? Rio: when I pack Buster: As much as you want, I'll send you money for if your cases are over the weight limit Rio: don't want it to look like I'm running away too hard but Buster: You're overthinking it, you never travel light anywhere, nobody'll notice Rio: I need options Buster: I'm not mad about it and I don't care if my parents are Rio: they're going to be Rio: you'll have to go to school, be 😇 to show I'm totally not a distraction Buster: You are, but I'll still go Buster: All that matters to me is that you feel safe Rio: I will do Rio: and I'll find ways to be useful to them as well as distracting to you Buster: Winning over Ava is basically the same thing as winning them over Buster: You've had loads of practice at that Rio: kids are easy Buster: She's easier than Grace, obviously Rio: wouldn't take much on Ava's part Rio: bless Buster: She'll be distracting at any rate Rio: I can take her to school and shit, free up some time for them Buster: Yeah, and once you've had some time, we can sort out getting your assignments and shit sent over Rio: I won't miss anything important Buster: It'll be fine Buster: I'll make sure it's fine, like Rio: I know you will Buster: You gonna facetime me into this study session or what then? Rio: depends Rio: are you going to be nice? Buster: To you Rio: well you're always nice to me Buster: Are you asking me to help Nance with her homework? Rio: how much do you think she'd appreciate that? Buster: She wouldn't, so of course I'll do it Rio: I can't with you two, honestly Buster: You love me, you don't even want her to come over Rio: I'm not getting in the middle of it Buster: You already are Rio: No I'm not, shh Buster: It's okay, I know you're on my side Rio: I love you more than anyone else in the world Rio: goes without saying Buster: I still really like hearing it Rio: You know you can hear it any time you want Buster: Is she there yet? Rio: nope, you remember how long that drive takes, even in an uber Buster: I'll call you then Rio: 🥰 Buster: [does obvs] Rio: I'll just be here counting down the minutes 'til you can hold me Buster: However long it feels, you'll be staying longer Rio: promise? Buster: I swear Rio: then I'm happy Buster: If you are, I am too Rio: I haven't even asked you how your days been Rio: I'm so rude Buster: Before and after I shot down gym girl there ain't much to report Rio: what did she look like? Buster: Every other girl in this postcode Rio: Blonde and skinny Buster: Yeah Rio: vaguely equine, dresses more like a nan than nan ever would Buster: I'll have to remember all that for the next one Rio: I can tell her myself if you like Buster: If you like Rio: Me? The jealous type? Buster: The jealous type and my type Rio: I better be Rio: only type Buster: You're the only one I've ever wanted or will ever want, you definitely don't need to add that to the list of shit that's worrying you right now Rio: I just like to hear it Buster: I'll tell you again then, I want you so much Rio: even without all this bullshit Rio: it's been too long Rio: I hate every second I'm not with you Buster: I know, me too Buster: I'm not gonna say he's done me a favour, but I am glad you're coming to stay Rio: I'll say it Rio: may as well get something good from it Buster: I'd rather you didn't have to deal with any of this bullshit, obviously Rio: of course Rio: I told you, I've never thought it was you, it's okay Buster: It's not okay that I haven't been able to do fuck all about this though Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not good enough, I know that Buster: I'm gonna do better Rio: Stop it Buster: I mean it, Rio Rio: we've done everything we can Rio: it's not fair on me or you to act like we haven't Buster: I just hate this Rio: I know, baby Buster: You're the best thing that's happened to me, this shouldn't be happening to you Rio: It really could happen to anyone Rio: it's shit Rio: but you make me feel safe, that isn't nothing Buster: I'll calm down before you get here Buster: I swear Rio: you don't have to Rio: you can be mad, I am Rio: but you don't need to blame yourself, even if it's second to him, it's all on him Buster: I am angry but you've got the wrong twin if you reckon I'm willing to make any of this about me Buster: I'm here for you Rio: Trust me, I know Rio: she seems distracted herself recently Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'll try to work it out, not had time yet Rio: she won't say anything if you're on the phone though Buster: I don't have to be, if you wanna do some investigating Rio: I know you wanna know too Buster: I know if you get her started she'll talk about herself until you've gotten all of your own bullshit exists Rio: and you're a little nosy too, you can admit it Rio: I'll get the gossip Buster: She's still my sister Buster: 'Course I wanna know if she's being stalked as well or whatever Rio: You're cute Rio: and I do not think it's that Rio: obviously Buster: You know what I mean Rio: I do Rio: that's why I wanna know too Buster: Okay, tell me when you do Rio: 🧐 Rio: wouldn't suit the hat Buster: You'd suit anything, don't lie Rio: 😊 Rio: I mean if that's your thing I'll do my best Buster: If it was that wouldn't be the first you've heard of it Rio: be mad if it was Rio: you have to tell me exactly what you like so I can be it Buster: You are Buster: And I don't have, or want to have, any secrets from you Rio: secrets are boring Rio: and hard to keep Buster: Neither of us could ever be boring Buster: And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you forever Rio: You've got me Rio: not going anywhere Buster: Only closer to where I am, not further away Buster: Soon as your mum is back and your study session is over Rio: not that I need to do this homework now Rio: just be throwing subtle hints at Nance instead Buster: Be fucking typical her if she's getting bullied there as well Rio: I'd know if she was Rio: only have the two lessons with her but contrary to what the stalker suggests, I know most people well enough that they wouldn't Buster: Well Ava'll probably get a love life before she does, Christ knows what else it could be then Rio: ugh don't Rio: it's coming up with Edie for sure Rio: Jun is like Nancy and Billie isn't bothered thank god Rio: hate it Buster: Who's bothered about Edie then? Buster: Tell me your gossip Rio: It's just like the boys she hangs with are less useless stoner and more keep your eye on them types than Billie's friends Rio: and they aren't just friends types, I don't trust 'em Buster: Maybe I should be getting on a plane instead of you Rio: at least none of them are stupid Rio: especially not Eds Rio: have to hope anyway Buster: I've taught her how to protect herself physically, I reckon she can handle lads trying to get in her head Buster: Like you said Buster: She's no stupid kid Rio: Yeah, she has all the tools and advantages she can be given Rio: 💘 and hormones still make people stupid though Buster: I remember Rio: well yeah, ignoring the fact we'd be used as prime examples in that lecture Buster: Sure we have been, never too early for mum and dad to tell Ava what not to do Rio: As if we'll have started a trend Rio: if it wasn't you it'd be a really bad idea Buster: They should want her to have this, how I feel about you, how happy I am Buster: It's not as if they can actually judge us for who it's with Buster: This family are way past that Rio: You'd think Rio: I'm way past caring Rio: it was so Rio: I wasn't me without you Buster: I feel exactly the same, you know I do Buster: The only thing I've ever done wrong was not be with you, every bad thing I did or that was done to me can be traced back to that Buster: We're free now and this stalker isn't gonna make you feel otherwise any more, I'm not letting it happen for another fucking day Rio: we can get through anything, we've got the rest stacked against us and we're still strong Rio: as long as you love me, then there's nothing anyone can say or do Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: endlessly Buster: [a flight he's booked her like this is happening no matter what excuse us fam] Rio: 🙏 Rio: I cannot wait Buster: Me either Rio: you can pick me up from the airport, right? Buster: Nothing could stop me Rio: Yay 🥰🥰🥰 Buster: You need me to help you with all that luggage Rio: it will be one suitcase Rio: and a sizeable handbag, thank you 😂 Rio: but I still need you Buster: I'll be early regardless Rio: you're the best Buster: No, I do my best, you don't even have to try Rio: You don't either Rio: but I will for you and I appreciate that you do Buster: I appreciate everything that you do Rio: you will Rio: that's the plan Buster: I do, whether or not shit goes to plan Buster: You're one of the strongest people I know, the least I can do is give you the reminder Rio: Buster Rio: it won't always be this dramatic, you know Rio: being together Buster: I don't care if it is, you're worth it Buster: And I'd endure the worst suffering I can possibly imagine to be with you if any alternative meant not being Rio: now you're just being hot about it on purpose Buster: I told you I miss you, nothing's changed Rio: I miss you all the time Rio: but I'm down for all the ways you make it worse Buster: [sends her a pic from when he was at the gym earlier like okay we're testing the waters but not very much yet lol] Rio: oh Rio: yeah, I would've flirted with you too Buster: What would you have said? Rio: Hmm Rio: ask you to check my form Buster: As long as you'd have time for how thorough I'd be, I don't have any problem with that Rio: Of course Rio: I'd ask you because you're clearly an expert Buster: And there's no need for me to hold back on my expertise as you're clearly so receptive to it, not to mention deserving Rio: Don't, I want you to show me exactly how you do it Buster: Never, I wouldn't wanna leave you with more questions than answers Rio: of course, but there are some things I could show you in return for all you're going to teach me Buster: Yeah? Buster: You've got yourself a deal, babe Rio: are you going to let me come to the gym with you really Buster: If you want to Buster: I'll try not to get too distracted at the prospect Rio: you look like that, obviously I want to Buster: [a pic of how he looks now like we can also stay in this bed where I currently am chilling] Rio: 🥺🥺 GIMME Buster: You're not meant to change your behaviour or habits for that cunt, remember Buster: Say please Rio: please Rio: please let me be in that bed right now Buster: [treat that gal to some more pics boy she's had a shit day] Rio: please be with me right now Rio: in me Buster: You know that's all I want Rio: you're perfect, Buster, you know that Buster: We're perfect for each other Rio: marry me Buster: As soon as we can, I will Rio: seriously Buster: I am being serious Rio: oh Buster: Once we're both 18 nobody can stop us Rio: yeah but Rio: nobody would come Buster: I only need you to turn up Rio: technically Buster: And actually, 'cause the rest of my family won't and like you said, I'm past caring Rio: if you were going to do it Rio: you'd want the big day, the venue, the clothes, the car Rio: everything proper Buster: If you were going to do it, you'd want your family there, you can say what you really mean Rio: we can't just do all that for two people Buster: We can do whatever we want Rio: I just wish people would be happy for us Buster: I know, I haven't properly asked you yet 'cause I want everything to be perfect for you and there's fuck all I can do to give you that Rio: it'll never happen, I know that Rio: I've accepted it, it's just hard to make total peace with Buster: There was a time when I reckoned we'd never happen Rio: yeah Buster: I don't care who or how many people I have to turn my back on for you, it'll never matter as much as us being together Rio: it shouldn't have to be like this Rio: it's bullshit Buster: Yeah, but it is, and I've made my choice Buster: You know the things I'd do differently and none of 'em are about not ending up here Rio: Me too Buster: Changing their minds is as likely as us changing ours, it's an old fashioned stand off, like Rio: True Rio: it's like, they forget they're meant to be anti-us sometimes though Rio: and it's just normal, like we're any other couple Buster: Maybe when we've has as many years as my parents, it will actually be considered normal Rio: you reckon? Buster: Worked for them Rio: I guess nan and granddad are sufficiently over it Rio: had competition though, didn't they Rio: don't think that's likely to repeat itself Buster: Fingers crossed Nance is hiding a dark enough secret to take at least some of my parents' attention nevertheless Rio: in your dreams, babe Buster: Why would I dream about her downfall when I could dream about your happiness? Rio: alright 😇 Buster: We're not married yet but in regards to that, what's mine is yours, babe Buster: And vice versa Rio: you know I want it too Rio: to be married to you, and have everything we want Buster: Then I'll make it happen, exactly how you want Buster: Where there's a will there's a way, yeah? Especially when it's my will getting involved Rio: I trust that Rio: you Buster: Good 'cause you can Buster: About this and everything else Rio: then that's settled Rio: and Nance is finally here Buster: I'll still be here if you need me Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: you focus on doing everything you possibly can before I get there so you can spend as much time with me as we've got Buster: Consider it done

[lovelylogans]

where you lead, i will follow

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start from the beginning!

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, complicated parental relationships, mentions of transphobia and homophobia, verbal fighting, top surgery mention, classism, 

pairings: moxiety, logince

words: 5,414

logan's second birthday is altogether a bit noisier, a lot less well-dressed, and with much better food.

patton sends logan out to harass rudy (well, he mentioned maybe going to hang out with roman or talking to rudy, and picking at the errors in the courant won out when rudy managed to misspell something on the front page again) and virgil comes over to help patton decorate, toting the materials he needs to cook/already prepped food from the diner. 

"what was his face like, last night?" virgil asks, as he's onto patton's ploy.

"confused," patton says, pleased with himself. "i really think i got him this year, v."

"it is a pretty good plan you came up with."

"hey, you helped too. you have, like. split custody of the plan. we communally raised this plan."

like the person the plan's for, patton thinks, but virgil's cheeks have gone red so he probably gets what patton's hinting at here.

but anyway, they prep the food and douse the house in streamers and patton nearly forgets until—

"oh god."

"what?" virgil says. "we didn't forget anything, we checked twice. but maybe—"

"no, no, not that, it's just," patton says, and chews at the inside of his cheek. "i might have tipsily invited my parents over to the party tonight."

"oh," virgil says.

"i—they've never been to the house before. the inn, a few times, when logan was a baby. the town square, that once. but never the house."

"that's... big," virgil says cautiously.

patton blows out a long breath. "yeah."

"should i...?"

"no way," patton says immediately. "you're staying. you're a part of logan's life too and i need someone to help my frayed nerves."

if your parents and i fight it'll do a lot more than fray your nerves, virgil thinks, but doesn't say. instead, he says, "do we need, like. a plan? backup plan? multiple back up plans?"

patton shakes his head, flattens his hands on the kitchen table. "i just—this is big," he repeats.

"yeah," virgil says. 

"it's probably a while coming," patton says, and chews the inside of his cheek some more. "and it's been going so well lately."

"it'll be fine," virgil says lamely, as if he isn't mentally calculating every way this can possibly go wrong, and a few ways it can't.

"right," patton says, and blows out a forceful breath. "right, right. okay," he says, and claps his hands. "crisis over, time to hang up space-themed banners."

they do, and by the time patton's finishing affixing glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling guests are starting to trickle in—roman, who is also in on the plan, first—and patton gets some (logan-approved) music on, and then he kind of loses himself in greeting the citizens of sideshire that he and logan spend the most time with and get along with best.

logan and rudy walk in, to cheers, and patton surreptitiously checks his watch. 7:01. his parents are almost never late. he gets a drink for rudy instead of thinking about it.

logan's staring, eagle-eyed, at the pile of presents that's accrued by the fireplace. roman, cheerfully, is running interference to keep him from going over to shake them, or discreetly peel back a corner of wrapping paper to examine it, or—

roman's running interference, anyway.

someone rings the bell. patton jolts for the door, because there is one person (two people) who would ring the bell for a party in sideshire.

"mom, dad!" he says, smiling, conscious of the fact that he's in a sweater and jeans, casual in a way he basically never lets himself be at their house. he refuses the urge to start adjusting everything to make sure it’s all neat and tidy. "glad you could make it, come on in."

"traffic really is dreadful between our houses," emily says, and they file in. 

"grandma, grandpa," logan says, rising from the couch, and suffering through the hugs he receives.

"grandma, look," he adds, and holds out his wrist to display the watch patton had helped emily pick out for him, the one with the galaxy-studded background that reminds patton of the opening theme of doctor who.

"why, it looks lovely," she says, sounding a little surprised that something that cost $13 could possibly look lovely.

"um, everyone," patton says, "these are my parents, emily and richard sanders. mom, dad, this is... everyone."

"hi," the room choruses.

"hello," richard says back. 

"i'm emile," says emile picani, local therapist who had helped patton through a number of dilemmas free of charge back in the day, offering the first hand to shake. "we love your son and grandson."

"thank you," emily says.

"they're like our own belle and maurice!"

"without the beast, i'd hope, i don't want my son taken prisoner," patton intercedes, smiling at emile. "mom, dad, can i get you a drink?"

"stoli on the rocks with a twist," emily says.

"right," patton says, and escapes back in the kitchen, mouthing an exaggerated THEY'RE HERE at virgil as he does.

"how's logan?"

"happy," patton says.

"well, that's something," virgil says with a sigh.

"you'll be nice, won't you?"

"i will if they will," virgil grumbles.

"okay, well, their version of nice is different from my version of nice, so—"

"patton, i just tried some of these hors d'ouevres, they're unbelievable," emily announces, bursting into the kitchen. "who is your caterer?"

patton jabs a thumb toward virgil. "you've met him, actually."

she looks abruptly put out that she's complimented him. "ah."

"hi, mrs. sanders," virgil says. he only sounds a little stiff.

"we eat at virgil's practically every day," patton continues. 

"something healthy, i hope."

"not if patton was in charge of it," virgil mutters, and patton "accidentally" jabs him in the ribs with a playful little glower.

inexplicably, emily smiles. "he always had a terrible sweet tooth."

"mom," patton groans.

"i have to sneak him his vegetables in a smoothie every morning," virgil says, cautiously friendly.

"virgil!"

"ah. it was waffles, for us."

"it was—wait, what?" patton says, blindsided by this revelation.

"we used to instruct the chefs to sneak vegetables in your waffles for years," emily says. "you never noticed there were seeds in your syrup?"

"okay, first of all, i was nine, second of all, you said they were maple seeds!"

"patton," virgil says, trying not to laugh.

"that's what they were?" patton demands. "i thought it was just that you had really fancy maple syrup or something!"

"patton," richard says, walking into the kitchen, "your fireplace doesn't look structurally sound, i have someone you can call to inspect it—"

"i'll get right on that, dad," patton promises, and passes over the drinks he's poured for them. "come on, we shouldn't all be hiding back here, it's a party!"

"once these are out of the oven," virgil says, and patton sighs but accepts it. not much of a party guy, his virgil. he'll let him have his introvert time but eventually he will come back in here and drag him out to sit in a corner by remy aserinsky, local café owner, supplier of coffee beans to the inn and the diner, and source of an slightly joking, intensely confusing feud with virgil that patton has no hope of tracking, even after almost exactly sixteen years of living in sideshire. (three more weeks, to the anniversary. he and logan and virgil have a little celebration about it.)

"let me know when they're done?" patton requests. "i'll plate them and bring them out."

"sure," virgil says absently, already moving on to prep the next thing. patton squeezes his shoulder, but drifts after his parents to head into the living room. 

it's like a veritable merry-go-round of patton introducing people to his parents—or, well, a line actually kind of forms for people to shake their hands, his parents looking increasingly bemused with each. it ends up in a kind of pattern—people shake hands with his parents, wish his son happy birthday, split off into corners of the room to get food or drinks, and then find a place to settle.

"i'm larry, and this is my wife, dot, we live right across the street. such a good pair those are, nothing like my days back with pop-pop..." 

"...taylor doose, grocer. very nice to meet you, it must have taken quite the pair to raise someone like your son, such a good man. i hope you're proud of him, we certainly all are...."

"...sookie st. james, i'm the chef at the inn, i really cannot tell you how much i love working for your son, best boss i've ever had, and logan's so smart when it comes to food combinations..."

"...jackson melville. no, taylor, i really think she's more of a meryl streep than a julie andrews, but of course—ow, you don't need to kick me!..."

"...babette dell, and this is morey, and this is our sweet little baby cinnamon." (patton cannot help but reach out to pet and coo at cinnamon, even if he sneezes immediately. stupid allergies.) "we're their neighbors, just on the left side. oh, morey, do you remember the time that logan decided our old tree stump was gonna to be a lightning rod? used to sit in the rain until patton would herd him back inside and even then he'd be glued to the window, waiting, he was such a cute little thing, always running experiments on the plants in our garden, and patton always tagged along as his lab assistant, kept helping us replant anything that got uprooted..."

eventually, patton ducks out of the receiving line. logan looks after him, and he's been splitting his gaze between people greeting him and his pile of presents. patton can't help but wiggle a little bit in glee as he enters the kitchen. logan has no idea.

"those done yet?"

"just about," virgil says. "how're things, out there?"

patton grins. "my parents are being thrown straight into the deep end of the people of sideshire."

"they met ms. prince yet?"

patton's grin widens. "nope."

virgil snorts. "well, good luck to them," he says, and turns back to the oven right as the timer starts beeping, tugging on a pair of oven mitts to pull out the latest batch of jam tarts, before plopping them all onto a wire rack to cool.

"this is the last thing, right?" patton asks, sidling up beside him.

"should be," virgil says. "we've got these, the hors d'ouevres are out, we've got chips and dip, we've got dinner, we've got dessert..."

"then i pronounce you done," patton declares. "thanks for being my caterer."

"i can't believe your mom actually liked my cooking," virgil says.

"well, it's probably genetic," patton decides. "sanders loving your cooking, i mean. logan does, my mom does, i do..."

virgil smiles at him, and it strikes patton very suddenly how close they're standing, without a counter or a table to separate them, the way it always does when they stand like this. so much of their lives are spent divided by a counter, or by patton sitting in a booth, and when they’re together like this, in a space away from everyone watching, in a space where it’s just them...

"plus you're a good cook," patton adds, forging valiantly ahead, trying to make his heart not react.

"am i?"

"the best," patton amends. "the best cook."

virgil's smile quirks at the corners, turns a little sweeter, a little shier, and patton's failed remarkably at making his heart not react. 

"well," he says, a little gruff. "thanks. i guess."

"you're welcome, i guess," patton teases back. "we should head out into the living room, i bet logan's practically foaming at the mouth to open presents."

"i want to see the look on his face," virgil says, and double-checks that the oven's off (a habit) before following after.

logan does indeed look about five minutes away from foaming at the mouth. the receiving line's faded, and his parents are floating about the corners of the room—his dad looks like he's about five seconds from bolting, which patton gets, and goes to tug a little at his suit sleeve.

"here," he says, and presents him with a copy of the latest tabloid that taylor doose stocks at the grocery store. "i know it's not exactly national geographic, but there is a story in here about how people who are trying to help climate change are actually shape-shifting reptilian aliens who want to destroy all life on the planet."

richard blinks at it. "logan allows you to have this?"

"logan buys them," patton says with a laugh. "or at least, he makes a beeline for them when we're getting groceries and reads the headlines and gets increasingly gleeful with outrage, so i have to buy it for him, so he can rip it apart without holding up the line."

"ah," he says, and takes it. "well, thank you."

patton refills his drink, before he claps his hands to silence the party, and declares, "presents time!"

logan brightens, straightening up. roman's about to get up to grab his present, but patton wags a finger at him, mockingly stern.

"uh-uh, young man. you're last."

"but—"

"do you remember what happened last time you went first?" patton says, because he sure does. "you go last."

roman slumps back into the couch, mock-disappointed, and emile fetches his present for logan instead. 

logan is delighted. logan gets to guess what his presents are (90% of the time, he's right, and 100% of the time, he's at least close enough that he isn't actually very wrong at all) and rip up a bunch of fancily-wrapped paper and monologue at length about it. patton's getting pretty delighted himself, because logan still doesn't suspect a thing.

the presents pile has dwindled down, and it's now the order of people that it's settled into for years.

rudy grunts from the corner, and hands over a tiny box to logan. logan frowns at it, and then at rudy.

"you never get me anything physical," he says, which is true. the usual gift from rudy is a story pitch of logan's choice that he can run on the front page. last year, he'd managed a profile of a chemist at the local state university who'd won some prize or other, and patton had been walking into recreations of experiments on his kitchen table for weeks.

"well, special circumstances," he says, and patton readies his camera, like he's been doing for all the presents.

logan rips off the paper, opens the box, and stares down at it, and then up at rudy, and then down at it again, before lifting up the professional blue lanyard.

"is this—?" logan breathes.

"press pass," rudy rumbles. "it's about time you stop heckling me to do more stories at the state level and do them yourself."

logan cradles the id in his hands, flipping it over to look at the photo—and then he looks to patton, because he surely recognizes where rudy would have gotten a photo from.

"now that you have a driver's license, i figured it would only be fair," patton says. "as long as you don't let it interfere with your schoolwork, which i know you won't, and as long as you don't become a total workaholic, i think you can ask me if you can take the car to run up to the capital if there's breaking news, don't you?"

a massive grin splits over logan's face, and—

"really?!"

"really really," patton promises.

"there's a press conference on monday afternoon, if you're free," rudy begins.

"yes!" logan exclaims. "yes, i'm free, what's the conference about—?"

"i'm forwarding the pr release now," rudy says.

logan's cradling the press id, and slings the lanyard around his neck, like he doesn't want to lose it.

"okay," virgil says, and nudges over a fairly sizeable box. logan gives him a curious look, but reaches over to take it, ripping the star-dotted paper.

he unearths a lamp that displays constellations around the room, and a leather bomber jacket covered with space patches: nasa and galaxies and one little “i want to believe” patch. it’s hand-stitched, but, well. of course it is.

"cool," roman declares, then seems to remember who it's from and coughs. "um, i mean—"

"no take-backs, it's cool," virgil says smugly, as logan's shrugging it on, and smooths over the collar, tugging his press id so it's still front and center. it does look cool. a perfect balance between nerdy and cool.

logan smiles at virgil, just a little—the fact that virgil’s the closest thing that logan has to another dad has been an unspoken truth between them for years, now—and virgil clears his throat, trying his hardest not to look emotional.

“yeah, happy birthday, kid,” virgil says gruffly, and logan’s smile widens.

"we should plug this in," logan declares, holding up the lamp.

"not yet," patton chides gently, "you've still got a couple to go."

logan frowns. "no, just roman's. rudy, virgil, you, then roman. but you've already given me my—"

but he falls silent to see emile and remy carting in two boxes, and—

logan's jaw has fallen open. patton snaps a picture.

"you," he begins, and then, "you—"

"i got you!" patton bursts out gleefully. "for the first time in sixteen years, i have managed to get you!"

logan's jaw is still hanging.

"you didn't really think i'd just get you a puzzle, did you?" patton teases him gently, taking the larger of the boxes and setting it in front of logan. 

"you," he says, stunned, "tricked me."

"i did," patton says. "i got a decoy present and i hid the real presents at the prince's apartment—"

logan swivels to glower accusingly at roman, who snickers, holding up his hands.

"—and i got you," patton finishes. 

"i," logan says, and then, "i'm—"

"are you mad?" patton checks, suddenly worried that he's pulled one over on his son, and logan doesn't like being made a fool of, but he wasn't trying to do that he was just trying to surprise him, nicely, and logan—

logan just grins at him.

"you've finally managed subtlety for once in your life," logan declares. "i never thought i'd see the day. at last i have taught you something."

"hey," patton chides, but he can't help but laugh. "it might be your birthday, but that doesn't mean you can't get grounded."

logan scoffs and the rest of the room laughs. 

"i could!" patton says defensively.

"that boy's never been able to stay in trouble with you more than a day in his life," babette says in the corner. 

patton turns to virgil for someone on his team, but he just shrugs, putting his hands up in a don't look at me kind of way. 

"fine, i'm a softie," patton declares, "but one who managed to surprise our own logan sanders, modern-day sherlock!"

there's a cheer. logan rolls his eyes at everyone in the room. (one man has escaped to the porch, and one woman is watching this display in the room, feeling very... thrown off.)

"open this one first," patton says, excitedly patting the box. for once, he has managed to surprise his son. he's absolutely over the moon (ba-dum-tsh!) with his success.

logan tears off the paper, and then he gapes at patton.

"no."

"yes." 

"no!" logan says, tearing off the rest of the paper to stare in absolute delight at the telescope that patton's bought him—the one he'd gone on and on and on about when it first came out, excited over all the features and its capabilities.

"you like it?!"

"i love it!" logan says, so excited, so openly happy in a way he never lets himself be. patton's heart soars. "but it's way too expensive—"

"i know, that's what i told them," patton teases. "so i hunted until i got a discount."

"it's perfect," logan says lovingly, tracing his hands over the box, looking ready to cart it outside and set up shop to examine the constellations and ignore the rest of the party. 

"you've still got another one from me," patton says, holding the smaller one forward. it's still pretty sizeable, but not to an absurd degree.

"dad, the telescope's already too much—"

"hey, it's your sixteenth birthday, that only happens once," patton scolds. "plus this one wasn't very expensive. c'mon, open it."

logan gives him a little smile—soft, private—and looks down, ripping open the paper to see the back of a frame for a poster. he flips it, and he stares.

"it's," patton begins. "it's the way the stars were in the sky, on your birthday. that morning, i mean, when you were born."

"dad," he says, soft, tracing the shiny silver lettering reading november third, the year of his birth, the astrological details of the placement of the moon and the sun, the shiny little five-pointed stars connected into constellations.

"happy birthday, kiddo," patton says. "eight."

logan's lip twitches up. "sixteen," he breathes back, and patton ruffles his hair, just a little, before he backs up closer to the wall makes a gesture at the rest of the room.

"and now, what we've all been waiting for," patton says, and begins a drumroll on his thighs. the rest of the room echoes it. roman hands over his box with a flourish, and logan tears open the paper eagerly.

"what's all this?" a familiar voice asks, and patton nearly jumps. he'd almost forgotten his mother was here.

"roman's present," patton says, in an undertone, but can't explain anymore because logan's lifting the lid off the box eagerly, unearthing a massive, massive sheath of paper. the cover of the book is decorated with roman's lurid doodles of stars, and galaxies, and what look like the gears of a watch, and stickers plastered over any available space.

"doctor who?!" logan says eagerly, and looks up at roman. "you wrote me into doctor who?!!?"

"i did," roman says. "you're a companion."

"with which doctor?"

"please, i know your passionate opinions about the benefits and drawbacks of each doctor better than that. all of new who, obviously, with cameos from the old ones."

logan beams at him, and cradles the papers in his arms, hugging them close to his chest, like it's something precious, something to be savored. and he does: logan has a space on his shelf saved for the birthday stories of years past. roman has to go last for presents, because logan will start reading the story right then and just about ignores all his other presents to get to the end so he can babble happily about it with roman. 

logan's staring down at the papers, and roman's staring at him, wide-eyed, like he's seeing an eclipse, or a blood moon, or a meteor shower, or something equally cosmic and amazing, something that you only get the chance to see only every so often and something so beautiful that it stuns you, makes you think about the whole wide universe and everything that is and was and ever will be and how lucky you are to see this, this precise moment.

"what," his mother says, and she narrows her eyes suspiciously at them. even a totally oblivious stranger could see it then, at that moment, and emily sanders is not a totally oblivious stranger. "are they—"

patton taps his finger to his lips, eyes twinkling. later, he mouths at her, and she shuts her mouth grudgingly.

"hang on," virgil says, because he knows that the best way to keep logan from getting completely engrossed in the birthday story is to interfere before he can read it. "hang on, cake!"

"cake," logan says, distracted, and tears his eyes up away from the cover page. roman, similarly, tears his eyes off logan. "right, cake."

virgil ducks into the kitchen, and emerges carrying the traditional cake, stuck with sixteen lit candles, and sets it carefully before logan. patton switches off the lights and takes in a deep breath, and logan only pulls a little face that somehow seems magnified by the light of the candles, the only thing in the room ignited.

"happy birthday to you," the room sings, "happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear, looo-gaaan... happy birthday to you!"

logan huffs a breath, then another one, and patton flips the lights back on as everyone cheers.

"okay, first cut," virgil says, handing over a knife.

"then toast," patton says, "then you can escape to a corner and read your story."

logan smiles at him and cuts himself a large slice, before passing the knife back to virgil so he can distribute the cake equally.

once everyone who wants a slice has got a slice, patton calls out, "okay, everyone, attention please!"

the room quiets.

"okay, i'll keep it short, because we all know how amazing virgil's cake is," patton says. "and technically someone stole the birthday toast on logan's actual birthday this year."

roman grins at him sheepishly.

"so i would like to propose a little toast to the one thing in my life that is always good, always smart, and always eager to take on the whole world. without him, i don't know what my reason would be to get up in the morning. my kiddo, logan. cheers."

"cheers!"

"and now in honor of this very special boy, i invite you all to dig in!" patton declares, and people split off into their own conversations, chattering away.

when the attention's surely off him, logan leans in to hug patton briefly before sliding off the couch to sit in a quiet corner with roman, eating cake and commenting aloud on the story, and patton rolls his eyes fondly at virgil.

he also notices that someone is not standing where she was before—and that that someone is climbing the stairs. patton follows after. 

he turns a corner into his room to see his mother, holding up a quilt.

"i made that."

"really?"

"from logan's old baby clothes."

"how nice," she says, blankly, then, "that's quite an assortment of characters you've assembled down there."

"they're great people," patton says affectionately. "i really lucked out on living here, mom."

"that prince boy," emily says. "are they dating?"

"ah," patton says, and sits on the bed, shooting a discreet look out into the hall, before looking up at his mother with the distinct air of someone telling a secret. "no, but—and don't breathe a word to logan that i'm telling you about any of this."

she nods.

"no, they aren't dating, but logan's had the biggest crush on him. for ages."

"really?" she says, even more blankly.

"really," patton says. "i think logan's been in love with him since they were little, and roman's just as hopeless about it."

"really?"

"really," patton repeats, and sighs. "but roman went out and got himself a boyfriend, just last month. asked me about advice, actually, he said that he feels like he shouldn't wait around for logan to maybe like him back when someone he could grow to really like was right there, wanting him, and making moves to want him."

"what did you say?"

patton sighs even more. "i told him that he should have fun and to be careful, and to call me if he did anything that made him uncomfortable."

"did he?"

"he fell asleep without going home," patton says.

"he what?!"

"literally fell asleep, nothing else," patton says hastily, "but that's not like it particularly endeared anyone to that boy, i'm telling you."

"you don't like him?"

"he's part of the reason roman broke my son's heart for the first time, so no, i don't like him. and he..." patton hesitates, huffs out a breath. "you're going to be so smug about this."

"about what?"

"he reminds me," patton says, scowling just a little, "of those boys you always tried to warn me off of, and now that i'm a parent, i don't like them, either."

emily smiles, and patton waves a hand.

"i know, i know, you were right, et cetera, but. that's the situation with roman and logan."

"hm," emily says. then she says, “why were you and logan talking about numbers? when you gave him his present.”

“have we never done that in front of you before?” patton asks, distracted.

“obviously not.”

“huh, i guess. but, um, you know logan’s not the most effusive kid, and i’m a pretty effusive parent. so we made a code so that we could have the best of both worlds in public—i could tell logan i love him without embarrassing him, he could tell me he loved me back without admitting to feeling an emotion.”

“why those numbers, though?”

“there’s eight letters in i love you. and i love you too seems to imply multiplying by two, so—sixteen. eight, sixteen. just some sanders shorthand.”

she blinks, before picking up one of the (many) picture frames that patton has dotting his room.

"what's this?"

patton squints at the photo. "me, mom."

"i know that's you," she snaps, "you're wearing a cast."

"oh, yeah," patton says, and laughs. "yeah, that's when i broke my arm."

"you broke your arm?!"

"yeah, three years ago," patton says. "you know what a klutz i am, i stepped wrong on some ice outside of virgil's diner and now logan and virgil won't let me walk anywhere alone in the middle of winter if i'm not holding onto a railing or someone else, or something."

"i never knew that you broke your arm," she says, and patton can see the way she's drooping.

he's never seen her like that.

"oh, hey, mom," he says, awkward. "it wasn't a big deal, if i got really sick you would have known."

"yes," she says, "well," and sets down the frame. "i should check on your father."

"it was really nice that you came tonight, mom," patton says quietly. "it meant a lot. to logan," he tacks on.

"well, he is my grandson, after all," she says. "i should be here."

patton smiles. "i definitely agree."

he follows her down the stairs, and gets briefly waylaid by refereeing the terms of a feud he doesn't understand, and then gets waved out for being biased, and by the time that's happened patton looks up to see his parents approaching his son, and he hastens over in time to hear richard say "absurd, but entertaining," holding the tabloid back out for logan.

"hey, are you guys heading out?" patton asks. 

"we had a lovely time, patton," his mother tells him, with a straight face.

"get that chimney inspected, i've sent you a number to call," his father says.

"well, thank you," patton says. "and i'll get right on that."

logan and patton watch as they leave, and then they both throw themselves back into a night of fun, and friends, and happiness.

(out in the car, emily stares out of the window and is silent for so long that richard has to say her name three times to get her attention. she's too entrenched in thoughts of that cheerfully cluttered house, small and lived in and messy in a way her and richard's house has never been, with frames fighting for space the walls, photos of logan and patton in the midst of stories that emily would have no hope of identifying, of her grandson's first heartbreak she's told about like it's a piece of errant gossip and her son's broken arm that's a funny story and the way patton had looked, here, dressed in that absurd sweater and those terrible jeans and with his hair a frightful mess, talking to that motley crew of neighbors that had been full of nothing but glowing, delighted praise for her son and grandson, the way patton had looked so right here, so comfortable and happy with himself and free, and how securely he has made his own little world and didn’t even seem to notice that she’s been shut outside of it, and the way he squirms and hunches over and avoids her world until he can't anymore, and how she has seen her son smile more in this night than she has since he was very small, and how her grandson had smiled more this evening than she had ever seen from him, and—

"he was right," emily says, choked up, wilting in a way that richard has only ever seen her wilt once, and his stomach plummets. "patton. he's right. he's a mystery to me, and i don't know him at all.")