#the one he was utterly unable to pretend to be prince charming around

[ayakashiz]

Reposting this from my twitter thread because it hasn't left my head (and adding a tiny bit more).

Seen so many questionable takes lately about the ivantill kiss, and I know everyone is allowed to have different opinions and interpretations but.

No, Ivan didn’t just pretend to kiss Till for the show. And no, he wasn't trying to make Till hate him either or trying to trigger him over his implied SA to snap him into action.

I think the whole point of the scene (confirmed by the creators) is Ivan finally breaking his mask of perfection and control and giving in to his messy, all consuming feelings, being selfish for once.

Yes, by the end before the strangling starts, he appears more clear headed and now focused on the objective of manipulating the score. But he doesn't really look at it until AFTER he starts strangling Till.

The kiss itself wasn't part of the strategy, or at least not entirely something calculated. Ivan could have skipped the kiss and strangled Till right away and gotten the same result.

The fact that he kissed him AGAIN after he started strangling him, more softly and 'personal', almost like a goodbye or an apology (whether for his selfishness or for their past), tells me he wanted it.

I think a last selfish act doesn't diminish the love he had for Till, it just shows the tragedy of ALNST. Ivan is only human after all. And no matter what kind of mask he built for himself and what illusion of control he had over his life, when faced with the real, imminent possibility of losing Till, he crumbled and did something unexpected.

I have more to say about the Ivan and Sua parallels and how he finally understands her in the Confession comic etc etc but I think I've yapped enough.

I just don't like it when people try to mold the narrative because they're uncomfortable with an unconsensual kiss. It's meant to be painful and heartwrenching, a reflection on Ivan's one sided-feelings and his desperation at the moment —to be seen for the first (and last) time, to not be left behind, to convey his emotions in the only way he could when being seconds away from death.

After all the team confirmed that Ivan is clumsy with emotions and only knows to convey them in 'childish' ways (the nuzzling against his face, the picking fights with Till and teasing him).

I think some people like to think of the kiss as something purely calculated and selfless because it makes it more 'palatable', but in my opinion this take washes out Ivan's character and the flaws that make him just as human, vulnerable and complex as the rest of the cast. He was willing to throw away his life and his perfect image because he wanted something that badly.

[florianniss]

Dungeons and Drag Queens

RatedE, Identityporn, drag queen AU.

“What’s her name?”

Steve is drunk, three towns away from his usual bar, sitting with an also-drunk, total stranger he’s pretty sure is hitting on him. He has to be awake and alert and ready to get on a plane for his next sales event in six hours, and he should be scraping himself out of his chair to pay the tab and climb into a taxi. But he finds himself completely and utterly mesmerized, unable even to blink in case he loses sight of the most stunning –

His table companion slides a program across the table, leans over and breathes hot, hoppy air right into his ear. “Nat Twen Tee.”

Steve looks down at the flyer and doesn't even try to mask the groan he makes.

Not only is this – individual – bewitchingly magnetic, drawing and keeping Steve’s full attention since she stepped into view, of course she has a name like that.

“As in –”

“Yup.” Drunk, Flirty Guy laughs, elbowing him aggressively. “Nerdy, isn’t it?”

Steve swallows back a second groan as he answers. “It sure is.”

They fall silent, as silent as a couple of guys pretending to be straight can be in the audience of an underground drag show where the likes of Nat Twen Tee can be found. They watch as she smiles and laughs, all business-like. She’s got a job to do, patrons to entertain, belting out the lyrics to Prince’s Kiss in a falsetto that makes the Purple One proud. She’s all dressed up, too, wearing a black sequined slink of a thing. And Steve recognizes he’s being sexist as he appreciates every seductive, curvy inch of her.

He does it anyway.

She’s got big brown eyes that crinkle all around the edges when she smiles, and her nose scrunches into the cutest little buttony thing. Her face is long and thin, just like the rest of her. Except when she turns around and Steve catches sight of the juicy swell of her ass beneath the tightness of her dress. She’s far enough away that he can’t tell exactly what her arm tattoos are, but one thing he can see is that she’s doing absolutely nothing to keep hold of her tuck.

Nat is well-hung indeed.

“Hey, man,” the Not-So-Stranger says, elbowing him hard enough to rattle Steve’s drink in his hand. “Wanna go upstairs?”

Steve just then notices Ms. Twen Tee is looking his way. He’s been so busy staring at her package that he forgot about those soul-searing eyes, and when he realizes he’s been caught ogling, he feels his face go ridiculously hot.

Still, he can’t look away. 

Steve’s decided the Guy next to him talks a lot, and Steve isn’t really one for words when there is a show going on.

She’s not the only one there, of course. Five or six other girls twirl about the space, packed with as many tables as they could cram into the basement room. The audience is made up of all sorts, men and women and unitendifiables all. It’s the kind of place someone like him could disappear from reality for a while.

Flirty Drunk Guy grabs Steve’s elbow and gives it another shake. “C’mon. Let’s go upstairs.”

Steve tears his eyes away from the singer’s to meet a red face, all goofy smile and a sideways slide to his gaze.

“What’s upstairs?”

Suggestive eyes slow blink Steve like he’s trying to charm a cat. “Dude,” is all he says. 

It’s a few moments before Steve looks down on the guy’s fingers stroking his arm, and he understands.

Oh.

“Oh. No, I’m not —“

Insistent Flirty Guy laughs again. It’s mocking this time. “Neither am I.”

He grins, and it’s suddenly clear what he means.

“No,” Steve tries to explain. “I’m not here for that.”

He’s terrified of ‘that,’ actually. Glory holes give him panic attacks. Sure, it’s supposed to be hot as fuck and fun for both parties. But sticking his dick into an unseen space gives him nightmares. How does he know he’s not about to be dismembered by a satan worshiper? Maybe someone has a vendetta against penis-wielders, or the kind of married guys who visit them and swear they’re wholly devoted to their wives. And then there’s the whole not knowing who has AIDS in broad daylight, let alone in a dark and sketchy sex room. He’s seen what happens to those men, wasting away while their loved ones disown them and leave them to die alone —

No. He’ll stick to his hand and a well-lubed toy, thanks. 

Insistent Drunk Dude shrugs and lets go of Steve with some reluctance. That or his muscles are numb with alcohol, too.

“Fine. Maybe I’ll see you around.” He sounds hopeful. He looks hopeful.

Steve’s stomach churns uncomfortably. Answering seems like an admission. “Maybe.”

It’s not that the guy is unattractive, built like Steve likes them, with long lashes and pretty eyes. He’s just a little too — eager. Steve’s only just talked himself into visiting the bar, let alone doing — that — with a complete stranger.

Proposition Man backs away and ends up running right into Ms. Twen Tee, who holds up both hands to stop from being knocked over. Eager Guy spins and, upon realizing who he’s bumped into, grabs her bicep and tries to pull her in. He grins and his eyes slip down the length of her front. His hand moves to the place where his gaze has fallen to the bulging, slightly-curved shape of her cock. And it looks like —

Like he’s going to feel her up.

It happens quickly. Steve lunges forward and grabs Handsy Guy by his collar, yanking him backward so hard the stitches rip around his neck. He looks back at Steve with horror, and suddenly there are about three or four really big guys (like, twice as big as Steve) putting hands on both of them.

A scuffle ensues. Steve gets shoved around. The other man is jostled and then pushed none too gently onto his stomach. He makes a shocked sound as one of the bouncers shoves a knee between his shoulder blades, one arm bent back at a painful angle. He cries out, and no one listens. They just stand there watching him, flat on the floor.

It hits Steve a little late; they’re about to do the same thing to him.

The truth is, Steve is stressed. His boss is one of those Type A personalities, always pushing, pushing, pushing for his underlings to sell, sell, sell. Steve likes the clients he’s assigned to; they’re good people who love the motorcycle industry just like him. But no matter how much time he spends on the phone, no matter how many miles he puts under his belt, working bike shows and putting a face to the company name, he hates how he’s driven to do more, be better, faster, smarter than the competition.

In a word, he hates being pushed.

So, when two hulk-like men grab and arm each and start to force him to the ground, of course he puts up a fight.

It’s telling how drunk he really is, because he’s never head-butted anyone in his life. It doesn’t hurt all that much, at least, not at first, and his vision only blurs for what has to be a few seconds or so. It stuns one of his captors enough for Steve to wrench his arm free, to twist around and land a punch in the other’s solar plexus. And he would have hauled back for another one if the voice of Heaven didn't interrupt the whole thing.

“Hey! Let him go!”

It’s Nat Twen Tee. She’s stepped into the fray and is shouting at the top of her angelic lungs.

“He’s trying to help, guys! He saw the whole thing and stepped in first!”

One of Steve’s arms is wrenched behind his back, stretched much farther than it’s ever meant to be. Nat pushes through the chaos and shoves the guy Steve head-butted out of the way. Then she gets a hand on Steve’s shoulder and starts to pry him away from the other guy’s stronghold.

Her touch is like molten lava on his already heated skin.

The room has gotten much, much smaller. Patrons and staff have surrounded them, all intent on breaking up what they assume is a brawl. Steve’s allowed free, but he can’t go very far. He’s pushed chest to chest with Nat, and she’s running a soothing hand over his shoulder. And her big brown eyes are trying to ruin him in the middle of a throng of assorted onlookers. And she smells fucking amazing.

“You OK?” she asks, and it’s like music when she speaks. Up close, her ruby red lipstick is outlined in a perfectly applied dark red border. The rouge on her porcelain cheeks is painted high into her cheekbones. And the traditional, over-the-eyebrow shadow sparkles in the available light, silver and red, and it's stunning.

“Yeah,” Steve lies. His shoulder is on fire, and not because she’s kneading it with her long fingers. She’s being careful not to scratch him with her jewel-studded fingernails. That much is certain. And he thinks, as long as she keeps looking at him like that, maybe he won’t throw himself off a high bridge to escape the pressure of adult life.

It’s not what he expected, turning twenty-two. He thought by now he’d have a nice car, a Mustang GT, 5.0, V-8 with four on the floor. He thought he’d have his own swanky apartment in the city, not the penthouse, but at least on the tenth floor or higher. He thought he’d own a Rolex and Tom Ford and at least six motorcycles of various makes and models. And he thought he’d have a girlfriend whose parents think he’s the best thing that ever happened to her.

Instead?

Instead, he drives a 1973 Honda CB750, which isn’t a bad bike for a vintage cafe racer, although it leaks gas and burns oil, and he hasn’t found a good Wrench he trusts with her yet. Instead, he shares an apartment on the upper floor of a bakery with 17-year-old Dustin Henderson, who lives, eats, and breathes the Dungeon Master that he is. Instead, he wears a Swatch and Chinos and an old, beat-up K&N racing jacket that a client gave to him as a perk. And the closest thing he has to a girlfriend is a feisty lesbian who bosses him around like he’s her personal slave.

And to top it off, he's got these confusing feelings about both sexes that his strict religious father would have kicked him out of the house if not for -

Well.

When Ms. Twen Tee tugs him away from the aftermath of a physical take-down, pulls him through the crowd and up the back stairs, out into the dark alley and cold, fresh air, Steve follows like a puppy dog.

He marvels at how very strong she is.

She props him up against the wall, all caring and gentle-like, towers over him in her stiletto heels that she masters without tipping an ankle once. She looks down on him with something like fondness, and Steve practically melts in a puddle at her feet.

Ms. Twen Tee runs the back of her fingers over the splitting ache in his forehead. “You didn’t have to do that, Big Boy.”

And, oh, the way she says it makes him feel like a wanted man.

“Nah. You’re working. Nobody should bother women when they work.”

It’s stupid, masochist, and he regrets saying it the moment the words spill off the thickness of his tongue. But Ms. Twen Tee clicks her tongue and tilts her head to one side, fondness increasing ten-fold.

“That’s sweet of you. Do you always say such nice things to the girls you meet?”

Steve is paralyzed by her gaze, frozen in place as she continues to stroke his forehead, as if her touch could provide magical healing to everything that ails him.

“I’m a gentleman,” Steve croaks clumsily. His stomach is churning and his head is burning. “Mama raised me to respect and protect ladies.”

She smiles and smiles and smiles. “Your mama sounds like a saint.”

Steve nods vaguely. He’s feeling quite dizzy now. “My dad doesn’t treat her the greatest. She tries to keep the peace. I watched how he spoke to her, and told myself I was going to do better.”

Why is Steve spilling his guts like this? He hasn’t even told Robin about his verbally abusive father, and the reason he left home the second he turned eighteen.

“Aw. You’re breaking my heart, Sweetie.”

Oh, how Steve’s heart thumps against the constraints of his ribcage.

Ms. Twen Tee stops petting his head and reaches for his collar, straightening it with careful, confident fingers. Steve sways with it, until she flattens both palms against his collarbones and pushes him against the brick wall.

“Let me call you a cab, get you home in one piece.”

She steps back. She turns away. And Steve watches numbly as the love of his life disappears back inside, leaving him alone and feeling suddenly sick to his stomach.

He vomits, of course, all over the alley. It’s a miracle he hadn’t puked all over her pretty black dress. He stumbles out of the way, across the road to lean against the opposite building. He closes his eyes and wipes his mouth and waits and waits and waits. And when she returns, she’s got a friend with her. Another Queen, who wraps a solid, broad arm around his waist and practically carries him down the alley toward the street.

The two women talk in low, unintelligible voices. Steve tries to make out the words, but the pounding in his head drowns it out.

Streetside, a car awaits, but it’s not a taxi of any sort.  Ms. Twen Tee opens the back door and her friend pours him inside. As Steve’s head hits the back of the fake leather seat, a warm body presses inside to join him.

“Honey,” she says, shifting his legs out of the way of the door and further into the car. “Here.”

A bag of ice is forced into his hand, lifted against the probable bump on his forehead. He leans into it with relief, leans into her to soak up her smell, mentally kicks himself for being such a romantic, chivalrous idiot.

She says exactly what he’s thinking. “I think he needs to see a doctor.”

The other Queen’s voice comes from the front seat and sides with Steve. “He’s an idiot.”

Ms. Twen Tee shushes her, pushes him again until he rests against the opposite door. The window is cool on his cheek. He switches hands on the ice bag so his elbow is propped against the armrest.

“I’ll be fine,” he argues. “Just. Just need to go home.”

A firm hand grasps his knee, and soft, firm lips press against his other cheek. 

“My hero,” she whispers into his ear, and it’s so much better than Handsy, Forcibly Ejected Guy’s flirting from before. 

“Nah. Anyone would have done the same.”

A deep chuckle vibrates the air. Fingernails pry open his available hand. Something like a business card is slipped into his palm.

“You come back someday and be my VIP guest. There’ll be a table up front with your name on it.”

Another kiss on his cheek, and she’s pulling away. She’s pulling away and slamming the door, and he’s left an embarrassed, concussed heap in a strange Queen’s car.

“Where are we going?” the friend asks, and her voice is rough and gravelly, not at all sweet and smooth like Hers.

Steve gives his address, cringes at the startled shock the driver gives because it’s so far away. But the vehicle starts, and the engine hums. And he’s being driven home, a knight bested and beaten, knowing full well he’s never, ever coming back.

On AO3.

[lumosandnoxwriting]

Enough - George Weasley

Title: Enough Pairing: George x Fem!Reader, Adrian Pucey x Fem!Reader Summary: Losing the girl of his dreams was never in George’s plan, and watching her marry someone else certainly wasn’t either. He can only hope that it’s not too late to make things right. Warning: mentions of vomiting, alcohol abuse and comments that can be references to child abuse, but nothing is specifically mentioned.  A/N: I combined two different requests for this one because they were pretty similar! So this is for the anons who wanted George crashing the wedding off the woman he loves! Feedback is always welcome!! Tags: @feltondarling​ @pandaxnienke​ @raerae27​ @thefifthweasley 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“There’s my girl,” George greets happily as Y/N skips towards him out of the Arithmancy classroom. He’s still slightly out of breath from running there from Herbology, but it doesn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist and lifting her up slightly.

“George!” Y/N giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck when he finally puts her back on the ground. “You can’t have missed me that much,” she teases, before pulling him down into a brief kiss. “You could have just waited for me in Transfiguration.”

George kisses Y/N again briefly before he grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers. They head towards McGonagall’s classroom slowly as the hall starts to fill with students heading towards the last lesson of the day. “I could have waited for you. But I wanted to walk you to class. I’m a gentleman after all, Y/N.”

“Mhm, sure you are,” Y/N teases, a pink flush on her cheeks.

George truly is her prince charming come to life. Despite the fact that they’ve been together for over three years, George is still finding ways to surprise Y/N and make her feel special. Every evening before a big test there’s a red rose and a bar of her favorite chocolate on her pillow, whenever she gets ready to leave school for a holiday break one of George’s jumpers ends up folded neatly in her trunk and most days George runs across the castle to make sure he can walk Y/N to class, even if it makes him late for his own.

“You break my heart, Y/N,” he jokes, using his grip on her hand to twirl her in a circle. He watches as a smile spreads across her cheeks, his heart pounding in his chest.

From the moment he first talked to Y/N his heart has beat for her and only her. George often feels like he gets lost in a sea of Weasleys, like he’s the one everyone glazes over. To George it seems like all of his siblings stand out in some way, Bill is the oldest, Charlie has his cool job with the dragons, Percy is the smart one, Fred is the loud charming one, Ron is the goofball who’s friends with Harry Potter and of course Ginny is the strong willed younger sister, while he’s just kind of there. He’s always felt like an extension of Fred, he’s George of Fred and George. And he loves being half of the dynamic duo that they are, he loves causing mischief and chaos with his brother. But sometimes he wants to be just George.

Y/N was the first person to just see him. He remembers the day it happened like it was yesterday. It was dinner time, and most of the people at the Gryffindor table were watching Fred recount their great escape from Filch after they charmed his broom to fly away every time he tried to grab it. Everyone seemed to be entranced by him, except for Y/N. She was sitting on George’s other side, completely oblivious to Fred’s antics. She had nudged him and asked what he thought of the transfiguration quiz they’d had the day before. Despite the fact that they were in the same year, George had never spoken to Y/N. She was pretty quiet and kept to herself, far away from the chaos George and Fred created.

But that night she had sought George out, and it made butterflies erupt in his stomach. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but he enjoyed it all the same. They had sat there and talked about which transfiguration spells they found most useful until dinner was over, and they had to head back to the common room. From then on just the sight of Y/N increased George’s heart rate and made butterflies appear in his stomach. Every time he felt himself getting lost in Fred’s shadow Y/N was there, usually with some kind of thought provoking question that would distract him.

When he finally got the courage to ask her on a date they had sat in the Three Broomsticks for hours, sharing shy glances and talking about anything that came to mind. George had asked Y/N how she knew transfiguration was his favorite class, and she revealed that she often watched him in the common room, and it was the only book he ever seemed to open. George had kissed her right there in the middle of the pub, his heart feeling like it was about to pound out of his chest. Y/N had seen him. Just him. And it made George feel like the most special person in the world. From that day on George didn’t care that most people only saw him as that Weasley boy. Or that he was only known to the masses as George of Fred and George. Because Y/N saw him as just George, and that was enough for him.

They reach the Transfiguration classroom then, and George pulls Y/N in for another brief kiss. “You’re my everything,” he breathes, holding her face in his hands.

“Everything okay, George?” Y/N asks, turning her head to press a kiss to his palm. While it’s normal for George to be affectionate, he usually saves such sentiments for when they’re alone and away from prying ears. Mostly Fred’s ears, but it’s unlike him to say something so meaningful while there’s students swirling around them.

Before George has a chance to answer McGonagall is sticking her head out of the classroom door and ushering them inside so class can begin.

-

“Next week? What do you mean we’re leaving next week?” George asks Fred incredulously.

Fred shushes George and looks to make sure no one heard before leaning in closer to his brother. “Yes, next week. I’m tired of dealing with mega bitch Umbridge and everything else is ready to go. The sooner we get into the space in Diagon Alley the sooner we can open up business and start taking over the world.”

George sighs and rubs his hands over his face. “I thought we would have more time. Leave closer to the end of the school year.”

“You’re not chickening out on me, are you, Georgie?” Fred jokes. When George doesn’t say anything Fred’s face drops. “Are you?” he asks again, his tone more serious.

“I wouldn’t say chickening out,” George mumbles.  

Fred slams his fist down on the table, causing George to jump. “We’ve talked about this, George. We’ve dreamed about this, for years. I can’t do it without you, you know that. How can you just abandon me?”

“Oh, stop being such a drama queen,” George responds with an eyeroll. “I’m all in, of course I am.” He bites his lip. “It’s Y/N that I’m worried about.”

“You’re such a fucking sap George, honestly,” Fred teases, ruffling George’s hair. “So, you’re dipping out of school a few months early? What’s the big deal? She’ll graduate, you guys will get married and make a fuck ton of ginger babies. You think she’s going to stop loving you because you don’t finish school or something?”

The thought of his future with Y/N spikes George’s heart rate, and he has to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I don’t know. Something like that. What if she doesn’t think I’m good enough for her anymore? Or she forgets about me or something?”

“Now you’re being an idiot. Y/N is crazy in love with you, George. Like you’re the center of her universe sort of love. Mum and Dad kind of love.” Fred watches George for a moment, frowning when his brother refuses to meet his gaze. “Invite her to come with us if you’re so torn up about it, Georgie,” he suggests softly.

“What?” George asks, unable to believe what he’s hearing. Fred usually loves to tease George about how Y/N has him wrapped around her finger, and usually his remarks are accompanied by him pretending to crack a whip. George knows that it’s his way of showing his approval of their relationship, so it doesn’t bother him too much. But it doesn’t make it any less weird to hear Fred be so blatantly supportive of George and Y/N.

“Invite her along. Having an extra set of hands while we start everything up wouldn’t hurt, and Y/N is the perfect candidate. She’s way smarter than the two of us combined and she’s the perfect balance to all of our chaos. She’ll keep us grounded.” Fred rolls his eyes when George still doesn’t seem satisfied. “Okay, spill it. You clearly have been worrying about this for a while. What’s going on in that big ‘ol head of yours?”

George leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. His and Fred’s grand exit from school and how Y/N fits in to all of it has been weighing on his mind for weeks. The thought of bringing Y/N along crossed his mind ages ago, and as much as he wishes it was a viable option it’s not. For one, Y/N has always dreamed of being an Arithmancer. Arithmancy fascinates her to no end, and George has spent endless hours admiring her as she pours over different books, always making sure to listen to everything she tells him. He doesn’t want to take that away from her. She’ll need her NEWTS in order to work in the field, and if she comes to work at the joke shop now she’ll never be able to.

But mostly, he’s completely and utterly terrified of the joke shop failing. He and Fred have found success with their products within Hogwarts walls, but taking them out to the world at large is a huge risk. They’ve put every ounce of energy and what little money they have into it, and if it fails they’ll have nothing to fall back on. And George can’t subject Y/N to that. She deserves to have the world handed to her on a platter and even though George’s love for her reaches the end of the universe, that’s not enough to give her the life she deserves. They’ve talked about what they hope their future holds, and George wants to give Y/N everything her heart desires. But he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to do that, and his worst nightmare is letting her down.

“There’s a lot going on,” he admits honestly, choosing to ignore Fred’s tease. “I think I know what I have to do about Y/N and I’ve just been trying to deny it. But it’s the only option.”

“What’s that, George?” Fred asks, but he fears he might already know the answer.

George looks at Fred, a sullen look on his face. “I have to break up with her.”

-

“Tell me what’s wrong, Georgie. Please,” Y/N asks quietly, looking up at George.

It’s Saturday afternoon, and they’re laying together on George’s bed. It’s a Hogsmeade day, so they’re completely alone, just enjoying being together. George is laying on his back with Y/N cuddled on top of him, one of his hands is under her shirt, pressed against the small of her back while the other is holding one of her hands in his. He and Fred are leaving Monday afternoon, and George is trying to enjoy his last fleeting moments with Y/N.

“It’s nothing, baby. Just thinking about stuff,” he responds, his eyes refusing to leave the ceiling and meet hers.

Y/N presses a kiss to George’s bare chest before nuzzling the soft skin. “Thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other?” Ever since the day George walked with her to Transfiguration Y/N has been able to tell that something is off with him. Usually she can read him like an open book, and the fact that she can’t tell what’s going on in his head scares her.

George digs his fingers into the skin of Y/N’s back. He can feel her heartbeat against his chest, and he’s sure she can hear how loudly his heart is pounding in his. “Baby,” George coos, finally looking down at her. “Look at me, please.” When Y/N finally looks up at him George can see tears pooling in her eyes and it breaks his heart. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in this world. You know that, right?”

“George,” Y/N breathes, squeezing his hand tightly. Normally George confessing his love for Y/N makes her feel dizzy, and makes her heart beat out of her chest. But this feels different to her. Like it’s the last time he’s ever going to say those things to her. “Don’t do this, George. Please.”

George swallow thickly. “I can’t be with you anymore, Y/N. I’m not. I’m not good enough for you. I don’t deserve you and I never have. You deserve the universe and try as I might I’m not the person who can give that to you. I’ve been telling myself I am, but I’m just not, Y/N.”

Tears stream down both of their faces and when Y/N surges forward to kiss George she can feel his tears mixing with hers on her cheeks. She kisses him hard, desperately trying to get him to return it. “Georgie please. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything before.”

“I know you do,” George says sadly. “But I don’t deserve your love. I’m sorry, Y/N. But it’s over between us.” George watches as Y/N scrambles out of his bed before turning on his side so he doesn’t have to see the woman he loves walk out of his life for good. The sound of the door slamming shut behind Y/N punches a crater in George’s chest, and he finally lets himself sob into his pillow.

-

“Turn that frown upside down,” Y/N’s mother tuts as she enters Y/N’s bedroom. “Today is supposed to be a day to celebrate. You should be happy.”

Y/N is sitting in front of the vanity in her bedroom, and she locks eyes with her mother in the mirror. Today is her graduation party, a day Y/N had been looking forward to since her parents started planning it at the beginning of the school year. But then George Weasley shattered her heart to pieces two months ago and she’s failed to find the joy in anything since. Y/N is surprised that she even managed to make it through the rest of the school year. The last thing she wants to do is pretend to be hopeful about her future in front of a room full of people when the future she’s spent the last 3 years dreaming about no longer has any possibility of becoming a reality.

“I don’t want to be happy,” Y/N responds lamely. “And I don’t want to pretend to be happy either.”

Y/N’s mother’s expression turns cold. “Your father and I have put up with your dramatics long enough, Y/N and we will not tolerate you embarrassing us today. So get yourself together, get dressed and put a damn smile on your face. This party is happening whether you want it or not.”

“Ugh!” Y/N huffs once her mother is gone, knocking her brush off of her vanity. Of course, today isn’t about her. It’s about her parents showing her off to all of their pureblood friends. Not only had George been the love of Y/N’s life, but he’d been her salvation, her savior from the horrid life her parents had been grooming her for. Y/N’s parents had raised her traditionally, and from a young age it was clear to her that she was going to marry a pureblood boy whether she loved him or not. And even though the Weasley family doesn’t prescribe to many of the pureblood traditions Y/N’s family does, their blood is as pure as can be and her parents reluctantly approved of their relationship.

Y/N and George had talked about what their future would look like, and they both easily came to the conclusion that it would include getting as far away from Y/N’s family as possible. Y/N sparred George from the more intimate details of her childhood but told him enough to make it clear she didn’t want anything to do with her parents once she was an adult. They decided on a large house on a hill in the country, near where George grew up. So their kids could run around barefoot and free, causing all the chaos they want. As graduation had neared, Y/N figured along with it would come a ring on her finger. George had promised to whisk her away from her family as soon as he could, he promised that he would be her new family and it was all they would need. But George had also promised to love Y/N forever. And now all she has left of him are his broken promises to match her broken heart.

Of course, Y/N’s parents had been thrilled when she returned home from Hogwarts with the news that she and George had broken up. All they’ve ever wanted was for Y/N to marry a pureblood boy that would take care of her and give them perfect pureblood grandchildren to spoil. Y/N is their only child, and therefore the only hope of their family legacy continuing on. They had been okay with Y/N marrying George not because they wanted her to be happy, but because they thought giving her what she wanted would give them the opportunity to instill their values in her children, so their traditions could carry on. But now that Y/N and George are no longer together, her possible mates are endless, and they’ve spent much of the past week discussing which son of their friends is best suited to marry her.

Not wanting to face her mother’s wrath, Y/N complies with her wishes. She fixes her hair just right, and puts on enough makeup to accentuate her features, before she changes out of her pajamas and into the expensive silk ballgown her mother had custom made. Y/N is sure it costs more than what most wizards make in a month, and the feeling of the smooth fabric against her skin makes Y/N want to throw up.

“There’s my princess,” Y/N’s father greets as she comes down the stairs.

Every click of her heels against the marble floor makes her stomach lurch, and Y/N can see her hand shake as she reaches out to take the arm her father has offered her. Guests have started to arrive, so she plasters her best fake smile onto her face. “Hi Daddy,” she greets, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Y/N lets her father guide her around the room, shaking the hand of every person they meet and pretending to be interested in what they have to say to her. Y/N is great at pretending, she’s spent her whole life watching her parents pretend to love each other. They had been paired together in an arranged marriage and while they love to put on a show as the perfect couple for their friends, Y/N knows that they sleep in separate bedrooms and her father has had a string of mistress’ her whole life. Everything they do is for the sake of appearances. They don’t care about genuine happiness or pure love, as long as they give off the illusion that they hold those things. George had made Y/N feel both of those things, and now she’s not sure if she’ll ever get to experience them again.

After taking Y/N around the room to greet everyone, her father gets distracted in a conversation with Lucius Malfoy and Y/N takes the opportunity to get away. Her mother has strategically placed a few of their house elves near the staircase so Y/N can’t sneak back up to her room. Instead she finds an empty table as far away from everyone as possible and sulks over to it, sinking down in one of the chairs.

“Why the long face?” a familiar voice asks as they approach Y/N.

Y/N looks up, mustering up the best fake smile she can. “Oh, Adrian! How nice to see you!”

Adrian rolls his eyes as he takes a seat next to Y/N. “You don’t have to pull that crap with me. You know that, Y/N.”

Y/N sighs in relief, and lets her sullen expression take over again. Adrian grew up in the estate next door to Y/N, so Y/N spent a lot of time with him growing up. She spent time with the children of her parent’s other friends as well, but Adrian is the only one she truly considered a friend. He found many of the things his parents taught him utterly ridiculous as well, and it allowed them to grow closer. Their friendship had ultimately faded when they arrived at Hogwarts and Adrian was sorted into Slytherin and Y/N was sorted into Gryffindor, but Y/N still considers him a friend.

“Thanks. I think if I have to pretend to smile one more time my face will actually freeze that way,” she jokes.

“Yeah, I heard about that. About George. I’m sorry.” Adrian reaches out to give Y/N a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Pretty sure the whole fucking world has heard about it at this point. You should have seen how happy my parents were when they found out. Pretty sure it was the only time either of them has felt genuine joy.”

“Yeah, I heard your dad talking about it with mine the night after we got back from school,” Adrian says. “I see he went out and bought you that diamond bracelet,” he comments, gesturing towards the piece of jewelry on her wrist.

Y/N snorts in laughter. “Graduation present my fucking ass. Only my parents would give me a present to celebrate my heart getting stomped on. Fucking pricks.”

Adrian reaches out and puts his hand on top of Y/N’s, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. “I really am sorry, you know. I could tell how much you loved him.”

“He was my everything,” Y/N admits sadly. As weird as it sounds, it feels good to be talking about this with Adrian. Her parents clearly think one week is a sufficient amount of time to get over a three-year long relationship and she’s been dying to talk about her feelings with someone. “We had plans, you know? Turns out he had plans of his own.”

Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes has been the front-page story of the Daily Prophet since it’s opening last month. The store has been breaking records left and right and people can’t seem to get enough of it. The store was packed with people when Y/N went to Diagon Alley with her mother for a dress fitting earlier in the week and the sight of the store alone made her want to cry.

“You didn’t know? About the store?”

Y/N shakes her head. “I knew he and Fred wanted to start one. He had talked about it loads, it always made him so excited. I just didn’t know how close they were to making it a reality. Though I suppose that was on purpose, since he dumped me right before opening. I guess the future we talked about starting wasn’t good enough for him.”

“He’s a dick, Y/N. You’re amazing. He should have been on his knees praising you everywhere you went. Any guy would be tripping over themselves to give you anything and everything you could ever want,” Adrian comforts, squeezing her hand again.

Y/N smiles her first genuine smile in months, completely unaware that her mother is watching her intensely, a plan forming in her head.

-

Y/N wakes up the next morning to a soft knock at her door. She lets out a yawn and stretches before muttering a soft ‘come in.’ She figures it’s one of the house elves, so when Y/N’s mother enters her room with her father trailing behind her stomach lurches and she sits up. “What’s going on? Did Nan die?”

“Oh of course not, it’s nothing like that Y/N,” her mother assures with a laugh, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

“We just have something to talk to you about,” her father says from his spot in the doorway.

Y/N sighs a breath of relief. Ever since her grandfather passed away Y/N’s Nan has become much more vocal about her distaste for some pureblood traditions and she’s the only family member Y/N can even remotely tolerate. “Thank God. What do we need to talk about then?”

“Your father and I have been talking a lot since your graduation about the next steps in your life,” her mother starts. “Marriage, children, things like that.”

“And we know that you thought that Weasley boy was going to marry you but it’s time to be realistic about things,” her father says firmly.

Y/N rolls her eyes to keep from crying. “Do we really need to talk about this right now? I just woke up.”

“Yes, we do. Because I saw the way you were talking with Adrian Pucey yesterday, and told your father all about it so he could have a conversation with his father.”

Y/N’s stomach drops, and her chest starts to tighten. “No. No you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.” The tears she’d tried to avoid a moment ago start to form in her eyes.

“I did,” her father confirms. “He agrees that you and Adrian would be a perfect match. Adrian already has a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry making good money, and his father has agreed to pay for your estate if your mother and I pay for the wedding.”

“No,” Y/N cries softly, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Adrian isn’t a bad person, but Y/N always hoped she’d marry for love, not for connections.

“Oh quit the dramatics, Y/N. Adrian comes from a good family, you should be happy,” Y/N’s mother squeezes her leg a little too tightly to be comforting as she stands up. “Now get out of bed and get yourself ready. Adrian will be by with his family this afternoon to formally propose so that the announcement can be printed in tomorrow’s Daily Prophet.”

Once her parents have disappeared Y/N collapses back into bed and sobs.

-

“Will you at least act like you’ve touched a woman before, Adrian!” Adrian’s mother scolds from somewhere behind the camera.

Adrian sighs and gives Y/N an apologetic look before placing his hand on the small of her back. They’ve been trying to get the perfect photo to include with their engagement announcement for the past 20 minutes, and Y/N feels like a doll being played with. Her and Adrian are standing facing each other, and per her mother’s demands Y/N has her left hand on his bicep to show off the fat diamond sitting on her finger while her right hand rests on Adrian’s shoulder. One of Adrian’s hands is cupping her cheek, while the other rests on the small of her back. At least now it does, Adrian has spent the last five photos with it just hovering over her body.

“Okay, now look at each other like you’re in love,” Y/N’s mother demands. Y/N looks into Adrian’s eyes and plasters her best fake smile onto her face and she can hear her mother make a satisfied noise. “Now as the picture is taken Adrian I want you to lean in and kiss Y/N’s forehead.”

Adrian opens his mouth to protest, but Y/N gives him a look. “Just do it,” she murmurs between gritted teeth as she continues to smile. “I just wanna get this shit over with.”

When the photographer tells them to move they do, and the flash of the camera nearly blinds Y/N as Adrian kisses her on the forehead to complete the photo. Thankfully the photo seems to satisfy both their mothers, and Adrian and Y/N can finally break apart as they head into the other room with the photographer to write the announcement.

“I’m really sorry about all of this,” Adrian apologizes.

Y/N collapses onto the couch with a sigh. “It’s not your fault our parents are the way they are.”

“I know,” Adrian responds, sitting down next to her. “But you’re very obviously still in love with George. This can’t be easy.”

“It really fucking sucks,” Y/N admits with a sad laugh. “I always thought we’d skip all of this bullshit stuff and just get married in his parent’s backyard or something. I don’t care about all of this traditional crap. I mean who even reads those stupid engagement announcements? Why do people care who’s getting married?”

Adrian laughs. “I’m sure no one we know does. It’s just for them to show off to all of their friends. Your mum can show the picture off and brag about how big that stupid diamond is, and my dad can show it off and brag about how hot of a wife he found me.”

“Ew,” Y/N grimaces, a shiver running down her spine. “I really hope no one we know sees it. Not because you’re a bad person or anything, but just because of how embarrassing that photo is gonna be.” In reality, Y/N hopes that no one in George’s family ever sees that picture.

-

“Nice of you to finally join the living,” Fred comments as he watches George shuffle out of his bedroom. It’s Saturday, so the shop opens a bit later than usual and George has decided to take full advantage and sleep in. Fred puts the Daily Prophet down and pours his brother a cup of coffee as George sits across from him.

“Very funny,” he groans, grabbing the cup and taking a large gulp.

George should feel like he’s on top of the world. Their shop is a huge success, he and Fred are living on their own and they’re finally making some real money. But in reality he feels like shit. He hasn’t felt the same since he broke up with Y/N. His chest feels empty and hollow without her in his life, and he spends all day at the store pretending to be his usual jovial self only to lock himself in his room with a bottle of firewhiskey every night. He knows drinking is not the way to solve his problems, but the firewhiskey burns his throat as it goes down, and it’s the only time of day where he truly feels alive.

“You reek, George. How much did you drink last night?” Fred asks, his voice full of concern. Over the past two months Fred has watched George slowly become a shell of the person he once was. He fakes it quite well for everyone else, but Fred can see through all the bullshit. He feels absolutely helpless as he watches George destroy himself, and Fred’s starting to get desperate.

George shrugs, taking another sip. “I don’t know. Half a bottle, maybe more. Who cares?”

“I do,” Fred insists. “You can’t keep living like this George. I’m worried about you.” Fred pauses. “I know you still care about Y/N-“

“Don’t,“ George says harshly, cutting Fred off. “Don’t talk about her, don’t even say her name. She’s all I can fucking think about and it hurts too much to hear you say it.”

“Okay,” Fred says softly, picking the paper back up. He starts to flick through the pages mindlessly, just trying to seem occupied to give George some space. Fred wants to help him, but he also doesn’t want to push him deeper into his depression. He’s just turned the page to the engagement announcements when George clears his throat.

“You get to the engagement announcements yet?” George asks. When Fred looks up at him confused George rolls his eyes. “Lee and I have a bet going, to see how long it takes for someone from our class to show up in them. You know how those traditionalists are, they pair their kids off before the ink on their diplomas starts to dry.”

Fred laughs, and let’s his eyes scan the page for a moment. He’s about to hand the paper to George when his eye catches a rather large photo. He gasps and immediately crushes the paper up. “Nope. No one from our class yet.”

“You’re full of shit,” George chides, narrowing his eyes. “Come on, give it here. If there’s an announcement in there I win 10 galleons.”

Fred holds the paper just out of George’s reach. “I told you there’s nothing in there. No Galleons for you. Now drink your coffee and get ready so we can head down into the shop.”

George gets up as if he’s going to head towards the bathroom, but he ends up charging at Fred and grabbing the paper from him. “I don’t know what your problem is, did Lee promise you part of his winnings or something?” George opens the paper, letting his eyes scan the announcements. He’s not really paying attention to the photos, just trying to find a name that sounds familiar. “Ha! There it is! Adrian Pucey, who would have thought.” But as George continues to read the announcement bile comes up his throat and he throws the paper down so he can run to the bathroom and heave into the toilet.

-

Y/N strolls through Diagon Alley slowly, basking in the freedom. Ever since the engagement announcement appeared in the Daily Prophet her house has become wedding central. Gifts and cards from distant family members and acquaintances arrive in droves every day, and Y/N’s mother is driving her crazy with the plans. Every day from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed is filled with wedding decisions that she truly doesn’t give a shit about. She doesn’t care about the seating chart or the color scheme. The only thing she cares about is that she’s not marrying George Weasley, and no matter how many plans they make that fact will never change.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Y/N apologizes. She’d been so lost in thought she ran right into someone. She looks up at the man she bumped into and her heart stops beating when she looks into a pair of familiar brown eyes and spots a shock of fiery red hair. But a moment later she realizes it’s not who she thinks it is. “Oh. Fred.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Fred sneers, suddenly filling with rage. He knows what happened between Y/N and George is not her fault, but his resentment towards her has started to grow since the engagement announcement. George has stopped leaving his room at all, and the sound of his drunken sobs keep Fred up at night. It kills Fred to see his brother hurting, and he can’t help but blame Y/N for all of it.

“You saw it then?” Y/N asks, hanging her head in shame.

“Even if I didn’t that god-awful gaudy diamond on your hand is a dead giveaway.” Fred clears his throat. “George did too.”

Y/N’s head snaps up and she can feel tears forming in her eyes. “No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to see that. Is he okay? How’s he doing?” Y/N watches as Fred’s jaw clenches. “Please, Fred. I need to know.”

“Why do you care?” he practically shouts. “So you can go and laugh about it with Adrian? I can’t believe you, Y/N. George gave you his all. You were his entire world. You were apart what? Two months? And now you’re about to get married to some other fuck head. Why? Because he has money? Because his family has a better status?”

Y/N wipes away some of the tears that have started to fall down her cheeks. “Fuck you, Fred. I don’t care about any of that, you know that. And do I need to remind you that George is the one who broke up with me? I trusted him with my heart, and he crushed it. All I ever wanted was George, all I still want is George.”

Fred takes a deep breath, needing to calm himself down. “Then why the hell are you marrying Adrian? George is beside himself. He doesn’t even come out of his room anymore.”

“You think I have a choice?” Y/N asks, her voice cracking under the weight of the emotions she’s feeling. “I’m not marrying Adrian because I love him, I’m marrying Adrian because my parents arranged it to be that way. My parents are vile, Fred. They don’t see me as their daughter, I’m a pawn for them to play with. It’s either submit or be punished and I’m not going to stand here and let you make me feel even worse than I already do.”

Fred grabs Y/N’s wrist as she turns to walk away, and he pulls her into a tight hug. “Y/N, I had no idea. George said your parents were traditionalists, but he never mentioned anything like that.”

“Because I never told him,” Y/N admits as she pulls away from Fred. She wipes away a few of the lingering tears as she looks up at him. “George is too innocent, too pure to know about the shit they put me through growing up. George is the only person who ever truly made me feel loved and without him I feel like I’m in a horrible nightmare that I can never wake up from.”

“You can’t marry Adrian, Y/N. You and George, you guys are soulmates,” Fred says quietly. “You have to be together.”

Y/N scoffs. “Tell your brother that, he’s the one who dumped me out of nowhere. Clearly he doesn’t feel the same away about me as I do him.”

“You can’t seriously believe that, Y/N. George is going crazy without you. He barely eats, he barely sleeps.” Fred swallows thickly. “He’s been drinking. A lot. Way more than anyone should. It’s scary. Every time I try and talk to him he shuts me out. He’s lost without you.”

The ache Y/N has felt in her chest since the day George ended things intensifies with Fred’s every word. It kills her to know that George is hurting just as much as she is. “I still love him, Fred. With every fiber of my being. But I don’t know if that’s enough anymore. Everything’s gotten so complicated.”

“Just promise me one thing. Promise me that you won’t walk down that aisle and marry Adrian until you talk to George.” Y/N opens her mouth to say something, but Fred puts his hand up to stop her. “I’ll take care of George. I’ll Stupefy him and drag him to you if I have to. Just promise me you won’t marry him until you see George.”

“I promise, Fred. The wedding is next week on Friday. I’ll wait for George until the moment I have to walk down the aisle. But if he doesn’t make it.” Y/N shakes her head. “It’ll be too late.”

-

When Fred gets back to their flat after his conversation with Y/N he’s filled with determination. George is the person he cares most about in the world and he’ll be damned if he lets him ruin is life. He goes straight to George’s bedroom door, using his wand to unlock it. He throws it open, flipping on the light switch.

“What do you want you fucking prick?” George groans, rolling over in his bed.

Fred carefully moves around the firewhiskey bottles strewn about on the floor and heads over to the window. He throws the curtains open, letting the sunlight shine on George for the first time in weeks. “Get your ass out of bed. You’re done wallowing in self-pity.”

“Fuck you,” George grumbles, opening his eyes to glare at Fred. “What’s the point in doing anything anymore? I ruined my chance with the only girl I’ve ever wanted. She’s supposed to marry me, Fred. Not that fucking moron Adrian. He doesn’t love her like I do, and he never will. But she doesn’t deserve me. Not anymore anyway.”

Fred sighs and sits down on the edge of George’s bed. “You’re right, he doesn’t love her like you do. And she doesn’t love him either.”

“Nice try, Fred. But I’m not getting out of this bed no matter how many lies you tell me,” George sighs, before turning over in bed.

“Her parents are making her marry Adrian, George,” Fred says firmly.

George turns back to face Fred and sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I’m sorry what did you say?”

“I ran into Y/N, when I was down in Diagon Alley. I really let her have it, Georgie. I told her off for getting with Adrian so soon after you ended it with her, and she just broke down crying.” Fred reaches out and puts a comforting hand on George’s knee. “She’s in love with you, George. Not him. Her parents arranged their marriage, she doesn’t have a choice.”

George puts his head in his hands, letting Fred’s words sink in. Of course, it all makes sense to him now. Y/N had once briefly mentioned that her parents never loved each other, George had brushed it off at the time, but it’s all becoming clear. Arranged marriages between pureblood families is pretty commonplace, and he feels like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

“I’m such a fucking idiot, Freddie,” George groans, looking up at his brother. “I never should have even dumped her in the first place. What the fuck was I thinking? I was scared of disappointing her when in reality I was being a big fat idiot.”

“Big fat idiot is right,” Fred teases, trying to get George to smile. “But the important part is that it’s not too late. I made her promise not to marry him until she talks to you again.”

“Why didn’t you start with that?” George asks, finally cracking a smile. “So what’s the plan then?”

Fred grins at George, his eyes alight with mischief. “We’ve got a wedding to crash.”

-

Y/N fidgets as she stands in the middle of her room, unable to keep herself from glancing at the clock. She’s standing there in her wedding dress, thirty minutes away from walking down the aisle and she’s yet to see George or hear from Fred. The possibility that George doesn’t want to see her ever again makes her want to throw up, but she has to hold out hope that he’s going to show up. She knows now more than ever that George is the person she’s supposed to end up with, and she prays that Fred made him realize that too.

“There’s my girl.”

At the sound of George’s voice Y/N turns around a smile spreading on her face. “George,” she greets. In the blink of an eye George is across the room and wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling Y/N into his chest. Y/N wraps her arms around George’s neck and presses their lips together in a desperate kiss.

“I love you,” George murmurs as they pull apart. “I have always loved you Y/N. Breaking up with you was the worst decision I made in my entire life.”

Y/N can feel the tears falling down her face, and she presses their foreheads together. “Why did you do it, George? You mean everything to me. I would walk to the ends of the earth to be with you. You have to know that.”

“I do baby, I do,” George whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I was scared of letting you down. You are a Goddess, Y/N. You deserve to have the world handed to you on a silver platter and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to give that to you. You deserve the future we dreamed of having, and it killed me to think you’d never get that with me.”

“I don’t care about having any of that. All I care about is having you,” Y/N admits, kissing George briefly. “You made me feel safe, and happy and loved, and that’s all I need, George.”

George kisses Y/N again, needing to feel her lips on his. “I know that now. And I really hope it’s not too late to give that all to you, Y/N. You are the only person who has ever made me feel special, the only person who’s ever bothered to look at me. And if you let me I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you feel special too.”

“I love you, George. It’s always been you. It will always be you.” Y/N breathes in deeply as George kisses her again, finally feeling like she’s home.

“I love you so much and as much as I would love to stand here and kiss you forever we gotta go. Fred should be almost done setting things up by now. Get changed and grab some stuff, okay?”

Y/N nods and gets undressed, throwing on whatever clothes her hands reach first. She throws a few of her favorite things into her school trunk, which is still packed with her things from the end of the school year. “Good riddance,” Y/N mumbles as she yanks off her engagement ring and throws it onto her dresser.

“Ready to go?” George asks, grabbing Y/N’s trunk.

Just as her hand closes around her wand explosions start to go off and people downstairs start screaming. “What the hell is that?” she asks, hooking an arm around George’s.

George grins down at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “A new line of whizbangs we’re testing out. A little goodbye present for your parents and Adrian.”

-

“Well would you look at that,” George chuckles as he reads the paper.

Y/N presses a kiss to the side of his head as she sets his coffee down on the table, letting George pull her into his lap. “What’s that, love?”

George puts the paper down so he can rest one of his hands on Y/N’s ever-growing baby bump and the other can cup her cheek and pull their lips together. No matter how many years they’ve been together, kissing Y/N makes him just as giddy as the first time. “Adrian’s getting married.”

Y/N laughs and rests her hand on top of the one George has on her belly, intertwining their fingers. “Think we’ll get invited?”

“Considering the way we ruined his first wedding? Not a chance in hell.” George teases with a smile, pulling Y/N in for another kiss.

They might not have as much money as Adrian, or a big rolling estate to show off. But Y/N and George have each other and their growing family – and that’s enough for them.

[tobeornottotc]

Gen Y Ep 1-9; Obligations and Want An analysis of the Love Triangle

You know those couples that you can't help but want to break down and analyse despite knowing you're a clown and you know it probably isn't that deep. But if it is confirmed later on that your suspicions were valid, then you would absolutely have that show become your favourite? Gen Y is like that for me. It has a cute straight forward main couple with Mark and Kit, but their story and plot aren't the main focus of the show. 

An introduction to Gen Y

The main focus is on the events that transpire in episode 1, immediately the love of his life dumps Mark's best friend, Wayu. Now, Gen Y is meant to a be parody/ fan fiction based on 2 Moons the series. We know the story of Wayu's lover and how they came to be. They were one of the biggest and most loved couples in BL. So this is interesting when we see that Pa leaves Wayu without any explanation and is a constant source of confusion and pain throughout the rest of the show. What makes it worse is when Pa decides to keep an eye on Wayu and ensure Wayu is alright, he proceeds to send in his best friend/ senior Thanu. And the exciting thing about this is Thanu looks a lot like Pa, tall, handsome, same department, same vibe. Wayu is immediately drawn to Thanu because he reminds him of Pa They both start to be closer to each other, (with the audience confused by if it's romantic or if it's platonic because of the book version of this story shows they're not going to be anything) Thanu to keep his promise to his friend, and Wayu because he sees Pa in Thanu. Basically, Thanu makes him feel closer to Pa, and he feels good and distracted by Thanu's presence. 

Now the worst thing about all of this is that Thanu and Wayu have chemistry, but the audience is led to believe that they're meant to be more of a bait and not a real thing. Basically, the production team confirmed that these two weren't going to be together. Instead, Thanu was meant to have a relationship or loveline with a soulmate trope with Phai and Pa was going to return back to the show to explain himself probably and these two were probably meant to become the main couple storyline in season 2. Fair enough, that's an interesting premise. Except I can't help but think we're being trolled. It doesn't make sense. Because when you actually focus on the plotline that is Thanu and Wayu, you can see they're clearly falling hard for each other. Let me explain in more detail in both their perspectives. And why it's actually not confusing when you piece everything together for their episode 9 separation. 

Wayu: The jilted

Wayu is heartbroken because of his devotion to his ex-boyfriend of a long time. Now if you remember 2Moons which this story is based on kind of, Wayu and Pa had a really intense, dramatic love story where both of them were utterly devoted to each other. Pa was Wayu's prince charming out of everyone and the only person that mattered to Wayu. Pause, when Wayu is broken up with Pa,  Wayu doesn't want to move on from Pa because he can't; basically, no one else will ever move his heart like that until Thanu shows up. Now at first Wayu latches unto Thanu (from their first meeting when he hugs his back and thinks he's Pa) because of his similarities to his ex and his presence reminds him of his ex. At first, that's all it is; he can't help but be comfortable and reliant on Thanu to distract him and give him information about Pa's whereabouts. In doing so, he slowly starts to care for Thanu and is still unable to let go of Pa. Pause again. There are moments wherein his pain and sadness, Wayu uses the similar presence of Thanu to mistake him for Pa thus their kiss/ almost kiss in episode 8 when he's crying about Pa leaving him. But as we look deeper, we see that it's more than that. 

Wayu likes and is falling for Thanu, and it's not a bait, they're something. Wayu is protective over Thanu and enjoys being in his presence. They both make each other smile, and they both want to be around each other. Plus there's this natural tension with them since the first time they met not because of the Pa thing, but they get nervous and scared when they're with each other, they lean close and find themselves staring longingly at each other's lips and more. They're physically and emotionally attracted to each other, and they know it. Wayu slowly gets over Pa when Pa for the last time breaks his heart, in trying to get over that heartbreak Wayu starts to spend more time and attention with Thanu. Which is why we have episode 9, Wayu is betrayed and hurt by the realisation that all that was happening with Thanu was because of Pa again, and was because of obligation not want from Thanu. It broke his heart; you can see it despite the fact that he pretends it doesn't.

 He tells Thanu the truth; he may have started off liking him because he reminded him of Pa, but actually, he started liking Thanu for Thanu. He was quick to protect and believe in Thanu even when Padbok was trying to make Thanu a villain. He saw how caring and smart and comforting Thanu could be not Pa. So really Wayu as of now has feelings for Thanu. And is torn between the realisation that he's no longer into his soulmate/person he should be with always, Pa and Thanu his best friend. It's a sticky situation, and that's why he pretended he was okay and told Thanu to find the right one. In a way, he felt like what they had, or what he felt for Thanu wasn't reciprocated because Thanu only stuck by his side because of the obligation to Pa. It also felt probably wrong to fall for Thanu, Pa's best friend,  when Pa is meant to be the one for him. The other thing, I wanted to say as well is that he regressed back into thinking that the reason he likes Thanu is because of the similarities he had to Pha. So he pushed down his feelings. 

Thanu: The good friend

When Thanu first shows up, we find out he doesn't do love. Like he doesn't know what love is, or what it feels like. Thanu's character dynamic is focused on his loyalty to his friends. Two of his plotlines revolve around this. One includes Pa and Wayu, and the other includes Padbok. In both of these, he has no choice but to betray the friendship despite fighting hard not to. Bear this in mind, when you think about his actions throughout the whole show. He first shows up to Wayu out of obligation; it's because Pa could not explain why he left the love of his life and told Thanu to come to retrieve his belongings. 

However, I think people forget one crucial information to know Thanu has liked Wayu for a while; he just didn't know it. He was actually touched and interested in getting to know Wayu because of how Pa described him. He liked who Wayu was, and when he saw Wayu, he said he was exactly as he described him. There's already an intrigue and interest in Wayu's welfare even before Pa asked him to keep an eye on Wayu. Wayu and Thanu have this intensity between them, and they both feel it but push it away, you can see it throughout the whole scenes, I used to think it just baited and fanservice for DunBas, but it wasn't, it was showing you they actually had feelings and chemistry that they noticed but ignored. Because at that moment, Wayu was still not over Pa, and Thanu did not know what love was. Pause. 

Before we continue another thing we must notice is that Thanu tries his hardest to be a loyal best friend. He's made a mistake before with Padbok that probably haunts him and makes him feel like a failure/ bad person. He probably swore to himself he'll never end up in another situation where he betrays the trust of a friend. Padbok makes sure he doesn't forget the misunderstanding, and he feels guilty so much to not even try to explain what actually occurred and why he ended betraying him by mistake. This is important to his character. He doesn't want to betray a friend. What would be the worst betrayal apart from falling in love with your best friend's ex-lover who your best friend clearly isn't over?  So please take that into account and watch his actions with Wayu. 

He clearly felt the same spark, energy and chemistry with Wayu, it both made them act nervous, it made them shifty, and it made them drawn to each other each time they were close. Thanu believes the reason why Wayu is this way is that he sees Pa in him. He says it in episode 9,  he knew he was being a replacement for Pa because of his similarities and he was asked to keep an eye on and prevent Wayu from breaking down by Pa. Thing is I think Pa stopped being the reason for why he wanted to be with Wayu. He also admits to this in episode 9, he and Wayu actually had a lot of fun together, they laughed, they spoke profoundly, and they were both worried and wanted to protect each other Pa or no Pa. I think that's important. Wayu's presence started to mean a lot to Thanu who had to confess to Wayu why he started being close to him. You could see in episode 9 he didn't want Wayu to leave he wanted him to know he wanted to be around him. But there are reasons why they can't cross that line

Because he's not even sure if this is love. He doesn't know what that feeling is (he needs to learn about it first with Phai I bet so that he can accept his feelings for Wayu)

Because of his determination not to betray a friend 

Because he was also being intrigued and distracted by Phai who he didn't know the reason why. 

So he also pushes his feelings down and is determined in episode 10 to give up on the Wayu feelings he started to have. They're not good, and he's not meant to think about Wayu that way, he's not meant to be with Wayu; he's meant to be with Phai. 

Pha and Phai -The soulmate problem

Literally, the universe is forcing Phai and Thanu to be together. And whilst this is cute, it's shallow. There's not really a reason for why these two are soulmates, yes they could have a good romance together, and they're both intrigued and drawn to each other enough to be a recurring memory to them. But is that enough reason for why they're soulmates I don't know, with Thanu it is interesting to see him make some bold choice to draw Phai, it shows he's someone exciting and vital to him? It could be love at first sight which is fine, but I feel like with Wayu, there's been this build-up of longing and angst and repressed feelings because he can't be with Wayu in that way. In a way, Wayu challenges Thanu's mindset and character because his goals are being warped because of the messy feelings he's starting to have for Wayu. As a writer, the couple with more development, and more depth and reasons for why they should be together is Thanu and Wayu. 

Hear me out they both comfort each other during times of distress, Thanu literally is a comforting presence sent to Wayu for that purpose by Pa. Wayu comforts and takes care of Thanu when he's agitated and triggered by Padbok, they both like being with each other, they can talk deeply about their opinions and feelings like we see in episode 9. They compliment each other, they both make each other smile without meaning to, and they're clearly as I keep on repeating attracted to each other automatically before knowing. Yes, Pa was important for both of them. However, I think Wayu would have still been attracted and drawn to Thanu even without Pa, like the episode where they first meet, later on, they meet again at the cafe, and you can feel the longing, attraction and chemistry from when they look at each other when they bump into each other. I also think Thanu liked Wayu when he heard about his traits and his personality, and I think it's an innate thing not just because of Pa that he wants to take care of Wayu. 

I think that's why Kit told him to be careful; he was blurring the lines between what he wanted to do, vs what he felt he should do for Pa. In his head Wayu only wanted Pa, and so it should stay that way. This couple without us knowing it actually has a tremendous angsty plot and it's actually interesting and impressive. But the sad thing about this is we're reverting back to the surface storylines with ThanuPhai and PaWayu at the end of this season. Is it really over for ThanuWayu, or are we being trolled? 

Reasons I think we may be being trolled.

DunBas pre this show were asked by the production team to keep up with fanservice. They wanted us to ship and care for them. They wanted us to see their chemistry. Why if they're not going to end up together. It's bizarre when people tell me the producers said they're not end game or a couple in this series. I think that doesn't make any sense with how much the storyline is showing they both fell for each other hard. I feel it's not going to be completed easily in season 1. 

Phai and Sandee could be an interesting match. I questioned why people told me that Sandee didn't have any feelings for Phai because, in the book, he doesn't. I questioned it because Phai and Sandee's actors have been a known couple and have acted together romantically in The Moment. They have their own fan base, their own fan service and it didn't make sense to me why they would make us think Sandee had unrequited feelings only to just forget about that once Phai sees Thanu. I don't know why they would choose these two specifically as Phai and Sandee. 

There are more depth and storyline for Thanu and Wayu throughout the whole show. Yes in the book it's the same, but Thanu still ends up with Phai but what if we're being trolled what if the writer switched the couple. It's all nice to see the chemistry between DunBas and make Thanu confess that he cares deeply about Wayu and not just because of Pa, to see him actively try and avoid Wayu so he focuses on Phai suggests there's more there than just a platonic relationship. They can't just go back to letting Wayu be sad, and Thanu move on, maybe in the book but that's not the vibes I'm getting from the show.

Pa is coming back, and he's important obviously. His reason for why he left could make or break ThanuWayu. I think that's what I'm going to have to wait to understand. Because right now Pa doesn't seem like a great love interest maybe that's why season 2 will be based on them because it'd be angsty and dramatic once we find out why, but I don't know his actions this whole show has been quite upsetting. I will say that Wayu might not be over him yet since he probably still holds some kind of love for him since he's the one for him or whatever, but isn't it ironic that both Wayu and Thanu find themselves in a predicament. Do they choose to throw away their 'soulmate' the people who they should be with, who the universe wants them to be with or do they choose each other because they are falling for each other. That dilemma makes them again even more in-depth and engaging as a couple.

It would be such a great plot if ThanuWayu still holds their feelings for each other. It'll bring the questions up about what love is really all about, how destiny plays a role in that, and what is required to be a good partner. It also would make the love square even more interesting to keep watching in season 2.

So yeah if it's not apparent. I'm trying really hard to give this ThanuPhai thing a try but with the ridiculous magical system of the world forcing them to be together despite them not even knowing anything about each other doesn't sit well with me. Like yeh, soulmate trope is adorable, but I really need more evidence and reason why they compliment each other. Right now looking into each other's eyes and feeling a spark is not enough for me to want this to be end game. Also, I think there was a foreshadowing in that scene that people will overlook. When they touched hands again, they couldn't see the future they saw before. That's a hint that this on the surface it's not something long-lasting. I think they're both helping each other know what love is, so they recognise their real feelings for the other people by their side.

Not to mention all the foreshadowing this episode that the person he wants is Wayu (the music box represented his heart/desire) and he gave it to Wayu. And the visions he and Phai see are telling us he will choose to date Phai but won’t be able to move on from Wayu but Pa will come back and both of them will be stuck in their respective obligational relationships it doesn’t mean he won’t care about Phai. Also the reason why he and Phai are having a bitter sweet conversation is because his heart is somewhere else with Wayu probably Phai loves him but I’m sure Sandee will be a factor too later in the future. I think all these couples apart from MarkKit were a slow burn and unfortunately I think the directors and screen writer didn’t plan it well because I think people are losing patience with everything in the show. I do like Wayu and Thanu, and Thanu and Phai and if it is as I think it’s being planned, then I’ll actually be into this show more. I still want more dimensional characters that have more than just one personality. And I want Pa back to see his reason

However, because Thanu has never felt this before and Phai has never as well, I guess that has to count for something? But I would have preferred that the show has been secretly misleading us and the plot twist is that ThanuWayu and SandeePhai may be slow burns but the endgame couple. I would believe in that and would watch the drama unfold for the next two seasons of this show. What are you guys thinking? Who are you shipping? What are your reasons? Do you agree with me that we might be getting trolled. I know the book is saying a different thing but even in that, we don't know who Wayu is going to be with it's not been fully completed. I think the DunBas fanservice was done on purpose; the casting was done on purpose even if they say it wasn't. I guess I'll be a clown till the end of this season until Pa shows up and gives me a better reason why he did all of this and why Wayu should go back to him

[poetryshortstory]

There is a strange smell hanging in the air, I can’t describe it. For all I know, it smells like champagne on a hot summer night. Perhaps I can feel it, I believe that it’s the smell of strawberries covered in chocolate.

But why? Why would he serve me strawberries, would he really give me strawberries?

My head is screaming like chickens on a rollercoaster. Why is now the timing? In my head this has never been the right timing. Ok stop thinking, just do you. You’re not stressed, but how are you going to tell him? SSSST, ok just be yourself, you got this.

Is he going to ask me a question or not? Do I start talking? I don’t know how these kinds of things work. In addition, I really don’t know how to act. Ok maybe I should say something? Hmm ok, I am going for it.

“What is your favorite animal?” … OMG what did I say? Oh, this is so stupid. Is he going to respond? Oh, finally he answered. Hmm interesting, he has a white horse. In fact, didn’t expect a white horse, let alone, that he would give me prince charming vibes.

“So, what’s the name of your horse?” Storm, the name of the horse is storm. Why would you call your horse storm? Actually, the question is, why am I even thinking about this. . .?

Splendorous like an angel in moonlight

Temperamentally like an ocean surrounded by wind

Oblivious to the outside world

Radiant like sunshine

Magnanimous towards others

Stop being so distracted, focus. I need to remind myself I’ve got this, not to mention I can feel the sweet sweat of my hands. It’s because of the strawberries, it’s definitely the strawberries. Speaking of strawberries, I really don’t want to eat them. Considering, he doesn’t know I’m allergic, he knows nothing about me.

I can already imagine what’s going to happen. Either way, I will blush. Ugh blushing why do I even worry about blushing, I've probably been blushing the whole time. Besides, my throat will get seemingly swollen, he’ll be flabbergasted if that happens.

Wait, just put it in your pocket when he’ s not watching. I can do that right? I just need to be fast, fast like a Ferrari on steroids. Just a second is all I need, please turn your head. OK NOW IS THE TIMING. GO GO GO. OMG I just did that and he didn’t saw it. Well, maybe I should taste the drink, what could it be? . . .Oh, it’s apple juice. Why was I overanalyzing the smell of apple juice?

About a girl

Probably stressing like never before

Pretending to be ok

Literally gasping for words

Even doubting herself

Just for validation

Undeniably uncomfortable

Irresistible but poisoned strawberries

Cabbaged by calming pills

Entering the deep end

Oh, I really needed that apple juice, I feel reborn now. Besides that, the sunlight is pretty. The ray of light is shining like a woman in a crowd full of strangers.

“Oh, to be a woman in a crowd full of strangers.” Like you can conquer the world with the voice of an angel. That was a strange comparison. . . why does my brain work like this?

It’s so frustrating and exhausting, it feels like putting down dominos and having to start over each time you get close to the finish line. Speaking of the mind, it’s such a fascinating element to think about. Every cognitive process has its own way of floating through your blood vessels. In fact, it’s about finding new ways to learn and dream about things.

STOP, see this is what I mean. I was just thinking about it, why do I always have to be so distracted.

Drowning in thoughts with no end

Imagining ways to get through the spiral

Suffering from tiredness

Thinking of unworthy situations

Relieved when stopping it

Attracted to being brainless

Caught up with ideas

Thunder striking fast

Eavesdropping conversation with the voices

Denying the stress

He can see I’m stressed, the stress takes over my whole body. How could I ruin it so badly, honestly? Thereby, is he going to ask me if I’m stressed? Oh yeah, he asked me. What do I need to say? Ok, I should just go with the flow, just say it. ‘No, I’m so prepared, I’ve waited my whole life for this’.

He’s looking funny, his eyes are like spears fading through my soul. All of a sudden, he says I can start, do I start now? Wait did we really just hear that. Someone is coming, why is there someone coming? I’m already so stressed out, I can’t handle this right now. The person asks him if he’s coming, this is so weird. Anyway, what would they be talking about? Maybe this is about me, would it? He’s giving me quirky smile vibes.

Questioning the whole situation

Unapologetically awkward

In need of a solution

Relieved by the sound of validation

Kaleidoscope of feelings

Yielding under pressure

He’ s coming back, he seems relieved and ready for the talking stage. Wait, how did I suddenly come up with the word talking stage. When I analyze the room, I see that the person he was just talking to is looking at me in an affirmative way.

Back to him, he’s excusing himself for the interlude, that is friendly. . . I guess. Alright, I really need to stop overthinking this whole situation. Like always, this is going to end just fine. Just take a slow deep breath and go for it.

He is asking about my experience, I do have to tell him about previous times but there just aren't any. Anyway, I have to be honest and say that this is my first time. Just say it, it’s not that bad. ‘That is perfectly fine, there is always a first time and I’m glad that I can guide you through it’. Did he really just say that? He did not . . . well he did. In a split second I’m surrounded by a feeling of uncomfortableness. Do I feel at ease. . .or am I trying to convince myself I’ m feeling at ease?

Endless sparks drowning in my belly

Amazed by the calming wind

Stuttering in my own head

Erasing the previous ideas playing around

Next question, is the only thing that's running through my head right now. ‘What do you find attractive about this place?’. Ohno, what am I supposed to reply to this. He looks at me in a strange way, perhaps with feelings of disbelief. Nonetheless, why do I always have a brain error on important occasions? I Just need to start talking now.

Ok here I go. ‘. . .’. Finally, I’ve dared to put myself totally out there. At this moment he’s looking very intriguing at me, maybe even smiling at me. All I can think about is the fact if I’ve ruined it or not. Nevertheless, I’m the right person for this and he can’t deny that, right? So pretty please, I hope he just says it without any doubt.

Dreaming of a feeling confirmed

Orbited around one certain moment

Utterly flying around possibilities

Briefly introducing a stressed soul

Tempted to ruining the only chances

He opens his mouth, stares deep into my eyes and starts to chuckle from his left to his right mouth corner. His lips splash apart loosely, and in this small special moment I can feel his words shuddering.

The small second is beginning to emote like three long lasting hours. Suddenly, I see his right eye leaning sharply downward, is this what they call a ‘wink’? I can feel that my emotions are running high and I’m starting to get a glimmer of hope that this situation could turn into a sweet dream

Slowly, words are starting to flow out of his mouth. While he’s talking I’m unable to look into his green glowing eyes but I still try to give him a quick fleeting glance. Finally, he says it: “You got it”. I got it, OMG I just got it. My smile can’t be hidden. “You need to stop stressing. I’ve decided, you’re officially hired for the job”.

Hopelessly drawn in unneeded thoughts

Intrigued by my own person

Relieved and impressed by my own qualities

Eventually everything is resolved

Do not bring yourself down with overanalyzing

[old-read-all-about-kpop]

@softjunh: hi there love! it's me again, and i was wondering if i can have a oneus reaction to their s/o backhugging them? im seriously starting to love these boys 😔💘💗

A/N: Soooo sorry for the extremely long wait darling! I sincerely apologize. I hope that you enjoy this writing 💓💓💓💓

Ravn

Ravn was brushing his teeth, preparing for his day at the recording studio. He hated to leave you when all he wanted was to spend the morning with you. But, he had a job to do.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he suddenly felt arms wrap around his torso. He relaxed instantly when your eyes met his in the mirror. He held his heart and exhaled sharply.

“Jagi, you little weasel,” he mumbled. He bent down to spit out his mouthful of toothpaste. “Are you trying to kill me?” He asked as he stood straight again.

You giggled. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to frighten you.” You nuzzled your nose into his back muscles.

Ravn finished up and wiped his mouth. He put his toothbrush back where it belonged along with the toothpaste. Once he cleaned up, he rubbed your arms comfortingly, relishing in this sweet moment.

“When I finish getting dressed do you wanna walk me to the door?” He peered over his shoulder to look at you.

You nodded your head, smiling happily. Ravn chuckled before sighing depressingly. “As much as I love this tender moment of being in your arms, I do need to get ready.”

“Right.” You started to move away from him when he suddenly brought your arms back around him. You looked up at him questionably.

“Walk with me,” he simply conveyed.

You laughed as you and Ravn waddled into the bedroom, joined together like a true unit. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Seoho

Seoho wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed. You deserved it and many more for putting in such amazing work for your first year of college. So, as you slept peacefully, he was scrambling up some eggs and putting patter in the waffle maker for you. Once they were done, he’d let them cool off as he chopped some strawberries and bananas for your waffles. He could barely contain his excitement on seeing your reaction.

Suddenly, he felt your presence before feeling your arms encase his waist in a warm and welcoming embrace. He groaned before turning off the stove and turning in your grasp.

There you were, blinking up at him as sleep still glazed your eyes. Seoho couldn’t help but swoon over your sleepy face. He tucked an errant strand of hair behind your ear, and then kissed your nose. You giggled, pressing your face into his neck.

Seoho pet your hair adoringly. “I wish you stayed asleep for just 20 more minutes.” He groaned softly.

“Why?” You lifted your face up to look up at his face. You then took in your surroundings, noticing the waffle maker, the eggs, and the strawberries and bananas on the chopping board. “Oooh, you were gonna make me breakfast in bed.” You batted your eyes at your man. “You’re so sweet!” You gushed.

You gasped then, having an idea. “I got it! A win-win situation for the both of us. I’ll go back to bed and pretend to sleep, and you can finish cooking and preparing and then you can bring it up to me like you planned. How does that sound?”

Seoho couldn’t help but laugh at the charming idea. “That would be a great idea, baby.”

You stood up on your tippie toes and gave him a quick peck. “Alright, I’m going.” You then dashed for the stairs, your feet pattering up the floorboards.

Seoho snickered as he continued his work. Soon enough, he finished, and, for good measure, he put a single red rose in a skinny vase and placed it on the tray along with the scrumptious spread he made just for his angel.

Oh, he couldn’t wait to see your reaction.

Leedo

You were drying Leedo’s hair for him due to the exhaustion that encumbered him from doing so. From the long day he had since early in the morning, you didn’t blame him for being unable to keep his eyes open for longer than a second. Your poor baby worked hard, but you couldn’t help but be proud of him and continue to motivate him.

“You’re all done, my prince!” You announced.

Leedo’s eyes shot open like a kid whose been called by the teacher. You could barely contain your giggle at his disorientated state. He looked utterly adorable. You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and press your body against his back.

Leedo grunted from the sudden weight. His hands cupped your elbows. “Hmm. What is this for?”

You kissed his temple. “Just because. I barely see you so I like to advantage of every moment that I get to finally be blessed with your presence.”

“Aww that’s sweet.” He laced his fingers with yours and kissed the backs of your hands. He rubbed the back of them as he gazed at you like you were the most precious thing to ever grace the earth. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, too, Leedo.”

Keonhee

Keonhee has been playing on his PlayStation since he woke up. He only stopped once for breakfast and then after that he was glued to the couch, thumbing away at his controller.

You sat next to him, playing a game of your own on your phone. But, unlike Keonhee, you weren’t that indulged in the game. So, you turned off your phone and simply laid back on the couch cushions. Before long even that was boring. So, you stared at your boyfriend.

His tongue was sticking out as he focused hard on his combat game. His thumbs were moving fiercely. Even though it got annoying at times how many times a week he liked to play his game system, he always looked so cute when he was concentrating.

Feeling affectionate, you placed yourself behind Keonhee, careful not to disturb him and break his concentration. Once you got settled, you placed your hands on the boy’s shoulders and pulled him back so he was leaning against you.

Keonhee readjusted himself before settling down and sinking into your petite frame. You rubbed his shoulders, amused how his eyes stayed trained on the TV despite the change in seating arrangements. But you didn’t mind. You were just content on knowing that he was so response to you. And that meant a thousand words to you.

So, you two remained in silence as you wrapped your arms around Keonhee’s shoulders, basking in his warmth. And, although he didn’t say it, Keonhee was delighted in being in your arms, engulfed by your presence. Nothing less than a perfect Sunday.

Hwanwoong

You and the boys were sitting in a circle, playing an intense game of mafia. You were the medic, which in your opinion is pretty stressful when choosing who to save. In the first round you failed to save Leedo due to you picking Hwanwoong. But even though you felt sorry you couldn’t risk revealing your identity.

Now, after some time passed, the people remaining were Hwanwoong, Xion, and Ravn. You were suspected of being mafia, which led you to accidentally revealing your true identity. The boys believed you but Keonhee was still standing firm in stating that he was the medic too. It wasn’t long until you were killed off. But, luckily, your death prompted the boys to vote Keonhee as the mafia due to the coincidence that you died after arguing with Keonhee about who was the true medic.

You were starting to become a bit tired and wanted to snooze. But you didn’t want to sleep without Hwanwoong. So, you opted for a smart solution.

You slid behind Hwanwoong and placed your legs on either side of him. Then you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, rubbing his stomach and chest. Hwanwoong looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. You returned his smile before placing your cheek on the back of his shoulder.

Eventually, you ended up falling asleep, being lulled to sleep by the man’s calm breathing and warm body. Thus, when the game came to an end with Xion being revealed to be the second mafia, and Hwanwoong and Ravn being the victors, it was only then that Hwanwoong noticed you in a slumber.

“Aw, s/he’s so cute,” Hwanwoong cooed in a whisper. He looked around at the boys. “Look at her/him. Isn’t she/he adorable?”

Keonhee rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah. S/he’s the cutest,” he said sarcastically.

Hwanwoong flipped him off before returning his gaze onto you. He rubbed your knee, not quite ready to wake you up. His heart swelled with tremendous love for you, feeling nothing but happiness in having you in his life.

Xion

You and Xion were watching TV together, cuddling on the couch. You two’s favorite position is to have Xion laying on you with his back pressed to your front. You’d either wrap your arms around his neck or have one hand combing his hair back. Whatever you did, Xion loved it. The serenity that engulfed you two was welcomed wholeheartedly, both of you wishing to freeze in this very moment.

Xion sighed in content. He turned his head and kissed the inside of your elbow, prompting you to giggle. “I really do enjoy being in this cuddling position.”

You smiled softly. “I know you do. Me too.” You played with his hair as you too sighed in content.

The solace that you two experience was something you would never want to take advantage of. You two treasured such moments, fully aware that you didn’t know when would be the next time that you two would get to melt into each other without a care in the world.

So, in this moment, you two melted into each other, conjoined like Yin and Yang as you two relished in the comfort of the other.

A/N: I really like how this writing flowed so I’m very proud how I constructed this. I hope you enjoyed reading this darling and, again, I’m deeply sorry for the extensive wait 💓💓💓💓

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Writing Excerpt for Today

Rhy let out a cry of pain as his head snapped hard to the side, hand going to his face. Of course there was nothing there, no heat, there would be no growing bruise.

“... Prince Rhy?” Cora looked to Luc and then to Lila - clearly not seeing the shock and surprise she expected, even as Luc moved quickly to Rhy’s side to press a hand to his face. “What just happened?”

“That bitch just slapped my brother,” Rhy said, almost weary of the pain Kell was put through and feeling utterly unable to pull together his usual courtly politeness for Cora, not right now, not tonight. 

“What bitch? What are you talking about?” Cora blinked, and her eyes went to Luc’s for help, but he only shook his head and kept his focus on Rhy, rubbing a thumb over his perfectly unharmed cheek, murmuring a question in a low voice to him that Rhy shook his head in response to. Finally, Cora’s gaze landed on Lila.

Who stared back at her with a perfectly blank, vaguely hostile expression. “Oh, now I’m worth speaking to,” Lila nearly drawled, letting her accent drip off every syllable, seeing the Veskan princess’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I’ve never heard that sort of speech before,” Cora said, and shifted awkwardly. Finally, she sighed. “I am sorry. I thought you were a, ah…” She waved one hand in a gesture that could have meant any number of things. “Night-woman? What do they call them here?”

Luc stared at Cora wide-eyed, then let out a peal of brilliant laughter, contagious enough that even Lila’s scowl eased into a smile. “You thought Lila Bard was a prostitute?”

“Well, I did not know, now did I?” Cora shot back, her breath coming back to her. She put her fists on her hips, and all her pretense at adulthood faded under the very childish gesture. “Prince Rhy is know for his… eclectic tastes and all the rumors tell us he keeps a new woman around day and, and night! My advisors thought maybe he, ah, he took a, ah…”

“A consort?” Rhy raised an eyebrow, and he and Luc shared a glance and a hint of a smile - but Kell’s heart was still fast, and he swallowed against the sudden force of a bruising kiss given to Kell by a woman in another world - he could nearly smell her, the ice and stone and blood. He managed to shrug it off, to push past it and move on. Too easy, now - it used to be harder to feel Kell suffer, but his skin was too inured now. “I have, but not Miss Bard. She is my-”

“I’m his bodyguard,” Lila said smoothly. “Delilah Bard, and you’ll call me Lila if you don’t want a knife to the ribs. I’m a well-timed bodyguard, too, since you’re telling us his guards have gone and fucked off to God only knows.”

Cora’s eyes slid, confused, to Rhy, who only shot her a sunny smile in return, but he couldn’t quite calm his heart. “Yes, about my guards, I need you to explain what you mean when you say the guards have… have gone?”

“Just what I said, Rhy!” Cora dropped the titles, now, looking nervously over her shoulder. One of her braids had come totally undone and hung in a ripple of honeyed waves over one shoulder and halfway down her back. “There aren’t any! My advisors and I were speaking about, about a meeting I’m meant to have with Her Majesty - and when I stepped out to get some more wine, our guards were gone. Veskan guards, Rhy, absolutely vanished! Our guards take a life-oath, if they leave their posts they forfeit their lives to the crown entirely, they’ve… I’ve never seen them just gone. Then I heard fighting, and went to investigate, and… and I saw your guards fighting each other!”

“You saw what?” Rhy raked a hand back through his hair, fingers catching on the wild black curls, trying to think. “The guards were fighting each other?” He looked to Luc, who looked back at him, baffled. “Were… Cora, were the guards you saw fighting wearing anything unusual?” 

Rhy thought of coming back to himself with a knife in his ribs, the wide-eyed horror and guilt on Kell’s face as Rhy had felt the bright sparking pain that lit up every nerve and froze his limbs.

There had never been a single misfortune that befell Rhy Maresh that Kell couldn’t blame himself for somehow.

Rhy had been controlled like a puppet, his mind simply shunted aside so Astrid Dane could wear him like a new ballgown. All it had taken was a little charm on a necklace - and you could make a lot of those charms quickly if you had to.

Cora blinked at him, surprised by the question, and her hands went up to her hair, making quick work of the remaining braids, undoing them and letting her hair fall, piece by piece, until it was a shining tumble. “I don’t… they were, yes! Little bracelets, half of them had these little bracelets ‘round their arms. Looked like the luck-tokens our armies sometimes take to battle.”

When he looked to Lila Bard, he knew she was thinking the same thing he was - she had seen him, after all, laughing with Astrid Dane’s words in his mouth, coming out in his voice - with that necklace in his hands, around his neck.

I come to you for something else entirely, Holland Vosijk had all but purred to him, placing the necklace in his hand, pretending at it being a gift. 

Rhy had been such an absolute fucking idiot to fall for it, setting all this horror in motion... but it was Kell who had been tossed up against the rocks when Rhy’s impulsive behavior wrecked them. 

[tarotdeckshuffle]

IgNyx Day Four!

Woo! Two chapters in one day! This time we see Nyx’s pining! :3 I swear I have an outline for this fic. Enjoy!

Prompts Used:

“I got your back”

Nightmares

Stuck in a small town AU

Rating: T (warning: cussing)

Prefer to read this on AO3? You can do so here!

Taglist: @idiotflowerex, @laststory1013, @sayaoqueen, @jophinabean, @mysme-already,  @ffxvignyxzine

If you like what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a Ko-fi!

Spectral: Chapter 4

“So why didn’t you stick around?” Crowe asked, before slamming down another shot.

“I don’t know...it just...it was weird, you know? He’s so young and so...different. It wouldn’t have worked out.” Nyx said, running his fingers around the rim of his beer. 

“You fell head over heels for a guy you met in just one night! And you’re telling me that you don’t want to see him again because he’s too different?” Crowe wiped her mouth, slammed down the glass and turned to face Nyx. “NO SHIT HE’S DIFFERENT! Because that was your once in a lifetime, love at first sight, soulmate...crap.” She stumbled towards the end of her sentence. “But you get it! Almost no one ever finds the shit you just found! You gotta take advantage of it! Call him, text him, do SOMETHING!” 

When she was gone, she sounded so much like her “brother”, Libertus, that Nyx joked he really could see the family resemblance. 

“You and I both know that that shit isn’t real. Besides, he’s ‘advisor to the crown prince’,” Nyx mimed a royal voice. “He doesn’t want someone like me...some...scamp.” He went back to staring at his beer. 

Crowe burst into a loud laughter. “Scamp?! What the hell does that mean?” 

Indignantly, Nyx responded, “It means that nothing happened! Besides...I don’t have his number...” 

Throwing her hands up in frustration, Crowe stood and turning in a circle. “You sir, are an idiot. And I am going to move on to less frustrating idiots.” She got another drink and left to see other friends. 

Alone now, Nyx continued to stare into his half empty glass. The ruckus of the bar seemed to fade from his senses, leaving him with his thoughts. 

That night had was burned into his memories. The sight of the handsome advisor looking up at him, the way his eyes held such an intelligent charm to them, the way he looked when he smiled. The man glowed with kindness and grace. Ignis truly was someone special. So readily he had held onto a stranger, he had trusted some unknown Glaive. All to play some silly game his friends wanted.

He deserved someone to care for him, to help him.  Nyx had to wonder if he knew that, if his friends knew that. 

But the advisor was so far out of Nyx’s league it wasn’t even funny. The man regularly socialized with the elite of Insomnia. He could make small talk with the greatest minds in Eos. He even looked like he had modeled in Altissa. By the six, Nyx was just lucky Ignis had flirted with him. 

He couldn’t deny the way he felt, though. Nyx wanted so badly to see him again. He wanted to hold him again, to smell his wonderful cologne. His heart fluttered every time he thought of that smile and he went to sleep dreaming of what could have been. 

While the night had been wonderful, Nyx choked it up to Ignis having drank too much at dinner or being too young to know better. He stabbed at his own heart, telling himself over and over again that it was all just a fluke. 

A year passed by, allowing the Glaive to pretend that he forgot about the young advisor and continue on with his life. But fate made sure that he didn’t. 

Occasionally, Nyx heard his name float by in a conversation, but it never seemed consequential. Typically, it as about the brilliant and handsome advisor to the prince or how he had created some amazing new strategy. 

Once, the islander saw him walk by. The advisor strode with graceful purpose, never bothering to look towards the training Glaives. He was styling his hair differently now, something that would be deemed “fashionable” by the tabloids. Hard as he tried to focus, Nyx ended up screwing up his whole routine that day. 

He even caught a glimpse of the young advisor training with his new daggers. It was late in the evening as Nyx made Citadel rounds, passing by the training chambers. Covered in sweat, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, prepared to strike, Nyx had to admit that Ignis looked utterly tantalizing. The Glaive had to duck around the door, blood rushing, so that he wouldn’t be seen. Embarrassed and unable to speak, he warped away.

Today, Nyx was scheduled for desk work, having pulled another unauthorized stunt. Rather than rot in the uncomfortable chair he was assigned, the daredevil opted to join in on a round of training. 

Everything took place in  the main grounds: a large round room with an open corridor running along its perimeter and a stone tower in the middle of the sands stretching to the ceiling. The goal was to make it the top of the tower before the enemy snipers saw you. It was a drill Nyx had run a thousand times. 

What he didn’t know was that Prince Noctis and his advisor would be watching today. 

Nyx and Libertus were almost through the drill, having easily evaded snipers to this point. The pillar was in sight, two more warps and they’d be done. Taking the lead, Nyx threw one of his kukris toward the center of the pillar. It lodged into the stone backed by precision and godly strength. Almost instantly, Nyx hung from its handle. 

While scanning the area for enemies and his next warp location, the Glaive’s peripheral vision caught something that glinted in the light. He turned his head, expecting to see a scope. Instead, he saw glasses...and the face that haunted his dreams wearing them. 

Ignis’s face looked so calm, so pristine. It was the sort of beauty only Michanglo could capture. The sort that would then be put on display in a museum for everyone to admire...but never touch. 

In his moment of wonder, Nyx lost track of the mission and his reactions. In what seemed like slow motion, he saw the kukri rise above him as he fell towards the sands below. In the corner of his eye, he saw the advisor’s panicked face before the world turned black. 

When the Glaive opened his eyes, he wasn’t sure if he was conscious yet. Above him, he saw the face of an angel. “He’s awake,” Ignis cried, helping him to sit up. 

Libertus fussed over him as his superiors gave him shit for a rookie mistake, but all Nyx could focus on was Ignis. 

Before he really thought out the words, he let his heart say what it had been crying for so long. 

“I’m sorry…” It wasn’t more than a whisper, shared solely by him and his savior. 

He was so sorry...for leaving without a word that night, for never contacting him, for never speaking to him, for how he felt, for...everything. The feeling had been bottled up inside of him for so long that it felt unreal to say the words. 

“Oh, think nothing of it. I’m simply glad you’re alright. Mistakes are a natural occurrence! I trust you shall learn from it!” The advisor helped to dust off the Glaive before pushing him away. 

It was in that moment that Nyx remembered he was wearing his mask. Too embarrassed to say more, he awkwardly nodded and jogged away. 

Back in the locker room, he stopped just inside the door. He threw his hood off and ran his hands over his face before unleashing the fury in his heart on the nearest locker. It was another moment...wasted. 

Nyx lashed out at himself for being so stupid, for being so heartsick. It wasn’t how he needed to act. He had embarrassed himself in front of the only person he wanted to impress. It wasn’t fate that kept them apart, it was Nyx’s own stupidity, he was sure.

Without purpose and completely horrified with himself, Nyx returned to wallowing. For weeks, he refused to go out with the other Glaives, opting, instead, to return home and lounge in his bed. 

The moon glowed overhead when he finally fell asleep, one night. Rarely did he dream, but when he did, they were awful. This was to be no exception. 

Nyx was in his apartment, warm and comfortable on the sofa. In his arms, was him. Ignis looked up at him, smiling warmly. Overjoyed, Nyx silently pulled his angel closer, burying his face in his neck. Content to just lay against his partner, he closed his eyes. 

He was startled by a burning sensation in his hands. Looking up in panic, Nyx found Ignis to be gone. His apartment was replaced by a darkness and purple flames. The Glaive jumped to his feet, only to discover he was ankle deep in water. Disregarding his surroundings, he started to desperately search for the man that had just been in his arms. 

He cried out the name he whispered so often, but no sound left his lips. He tried again with the same result. His frustration only made him more determined to find another way. 

Desperate to not let Ignis slip away, Nyx set off through the darkness. The flames licked at his skin, burning hotter and hotter. But the Glaive pushed through the pain, knowing he had to protect the one he cared about. 

On and on he ran. Now, where the flames licked turned to ask. First he was missing his ribs, then parts of his arms. But there was an end in sight. Up ahead, he swore he saw the tall figure of his angel. 

Water sloshed at his feet as Nyx ran. His chest burned, even his heart burned, but he pushed on. Frantic now. 

There he was...he was so close...just a bit further…

As Nyx reached Ignis, he fell to the ground. His legs turned to ash and blew away. His vision was being distorted as his whole face turned to ash. 

He reached out to Ignis, desperate to touch the man. But as he did, his angel erupted into purple flame.

“NO!” The words tore from his ashen lips before they fell away. 

But Ignis did not hear him, for he fell to the ground, crying out in pain. 

Nyx watched in terror as the same fate befell the man before him: Ignis cried out through the mounting pain as he slowly turned to ash that floated away. 

As badly as Nyx wanted to stop Ignis’s fate, he couldn’t reach him. With his remaining hand, he tried, stretching his fingers towards what was left.  

“No, don’t go…” the he whimpered. Before Nyx could reach his love, though, the Glaive completely turned to ash. 

Nyx awoke with a start, sitting up in a sweat covered bed. He breathed heavily, the images he just saw still playing out in his mind. 

“Do you accept his path?” a voice in the corner asked. 

Nyx turned suddenly, locking eyes on a dark haired woman in traditional garb. She faced the ground with closed eyes, never moving from her position. He reached for his blades but found them missing. 

“You have been given a fortune. Do you accept it?” She asked again. 

Finally, Nyx thought he had enough understanding to answer. To him, the decision was obvious. 

“No.” 

The woman smiled. “Then I can help you.” She looked up, ice blue eyes locking on Nyx as she glided over to him. 

“If you so accept my assistance, swear this to me now. Swear to become his guardian, under the power of this star. Swear that you shall sacrifice all to protect that which you love without regret, hesitation, or weakness.” 

Love? Nyx had to pause.

Over and over he repeated the word in his head, as though tasting it. He worked it over his lips, feeling the sound of it. 

Terrifyingly...it fit perfectly. 

“For without you, he is already destined to darkness,” the woman added. 

That was it. How could someone so amazing, so utterly perfect for changing the world be destined to something so horrible? 

“Won’t you gods give anyone a rest? Can nobody be happy?” Nyx burst, staring at the stranger. 

Her smile became warm as she looked at him and tilted her head. “That is why I am here.” 

And all of the pieces connected. 

The Glaive realised, in that moment, that if he didn’t protect his love, no one would. If Ignis was to find happiness, only he could help him. Regardless of the sacrifice Nyx would have to make, he was determined to save the man he loved. 

“I swear.” 

The woman smiled as she nodded. She reached out one pale hand and tapped Nyx’s heart. Dust that sparkled like diamonds burst from her touch. 

“Then it is so.” 

Nyx awoke, again. He sat up in a sweat soaked bed, frantically looking around. His room was empty and his kukris were on the bed stand next to him. Everything was normal. 

Outside, the dark horizon was tinged with orange as the sun began to rise. Sipping on fresh coffee, the Glaive had to ponder if it all had been a dream. 

It had to have been, but it all felt so real. In his head, he heard his mother’s words: “Never question the message of a dream, just be thankful when you understand.” Was this a moment to simply be thankful for? Did that mean he had just promised to protect Ignis? 

The Glaive sat back in a worn out chair. How could he protect the royal advisor? Be his bodyguard? Or be...close to him? 

He shook his head at the prospect. How could he ever explain what had just happened? No one would believe him. Especially not the other Glaives...

An idea came to him! He could protect the man he loved the best way he knew how: as a Glaive. The Kingsglaive watched and protected from afar, never leaving the shadows. That is what Nyx could do. He would watch over his love, protecting his happiness, even if it never included him. 

While the prospect of his mission stabbed at the Glaive’s heart, it also brought him great peace. 

With a newfound purpose, Nyx smiled. “I’ve got your back, love,” he whispered to the empty room. 

[misscamthenorwegian]

Fic: In Which Snow and Charming Play 6/?

In Which Snow and Charming Play by misscam Summary: Being with Charming has been quite the sexual education. They’ve learned together, always together. They’ve learned what they like, what they don’t like, what they love, and explored each other’s fantasies. And every now and then, they’ve realized that they like to play. [Snow/Charming] Rating: Explicit. Adult activities and adult language. Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my words. Author’s Note: Basically a fic consisting of a series of chapters of consenting adults engaging in roleplay and the occasional light bondage. Basically, mostly PWP. You have been warned. You may also make requests for roleplays you might like to see. A03 Chapter Six: In Which Snow and Charming Play Perfect Strangers II It's impossible not to notice Charming, Snow is pretty sure, but she still makes a pretty good go at pretending he's not the first thing she sees as she steps onto the dance floor. A pretty good go, but not a perfect one, and she can see Charming's slight grin. He makes a small growl as he gets a proper look at her – she's wearing tight, tight red dress that outlines every shape of her body and barely covers her thighs – but catches himself after a second. He keeps his eyes on her as he steps up to her, and she bites her lower lip slightly. “Hi,” he says cheekily. “I don't believe we've met. You're...?” “A perfect stranger,” she replies, just as cheekily. “Maybe you'll earn knowing my name later.” “Perfect stranger it is, then,” he agrees easily. “Dance with me?” she asks after a moment, holding out a hand. “As you wish,” he says, taking her hand in his and putting the other hand on her back and stepping closer, as they begin to sway slowly to the music. As always, dancing with him feels perfect, like their bodies were made to fit together.

“You come here often?” she murmurs, watching him smile at her. “No,” he says simply, dipping her and very slowly bringing her back up again. “First time.” “Me too,” she replies, watching his gaze move to her lips for a moment, as if he is thinking of kissing her. “I was lucky to find you here, then,” he comments, twirling her and then catching her against his chest. “A perfect stranger. Utterly, utterly perfect stranger, in fact.” “Or I found you,” she points out. “A perfect Prince Charming.” His eyes twinkle at her, and then she finds herself lifted and and swung around slowly. “A perfect Prince Charming?” “Mmm,” she says, closing her eyes for a moment as he practically slides her along his body to lower her onto her feet again. His breath definitely catches, she can hear, and it makes her smile faintly. “Perfect.” He hums softly, his fingers moving to her arms to caress her skin there. “I guess we're both lucky then, to find each other so perfect.” She nods softly, biting down on her lower lip before she leans forward, making sure he feels the entirety of her body pressed against his as she draws her fingers slowly across his skin at the back of his neck. His eyelids slide shut for a moment at the pleasure of it, and his lips part slightly. Good. She'll have him desperate for her in no time. He never can resist her, really, but it's always fun to have him particularly unable to resist her. “Very lucky,” she says softly, leaning so close that he should be able to feel her breath on his lips. “We should do something about that, Charming.” “We should,” he agrees, pressing his forehead against hers for a moment and she closes her eyes in delight. They continue the dance like that, foreheads touching and bodies pressed together, gently swaying with the music. When the music dies away, she opens her eyes in confusion as Charming steps away. “Excuse me for a moment, my perfect stranger,” he says smoothly, kissing her hand, “but they're playing my song.” She doesn't have time to voice her confusion as he steps away, just watching him as he walks off the dancing floor and onto... a stage? Oh no, she has time to think. This is a karaoke bar. This is a karaoke bar, and she's utterly, utterly fucked. Because Charming, Charming can sing. Oh yeah, her husband always sounds great, she thinks with a sense of doom as the first few tones of the song seem to make her body hum. No, not great. Better than. Wonderful, in fact. He has the sort of singing voice that can make anyone pay attention, and can make his wife hot under the collar from the first tone. And he knows it. He knows it, the right bastard. She knows it too, from past experience, but she hadn't expected him to sing tonight. This wasn't the plan, she thinks indignantly. No. They were meant to have a lovely evening of playing perfect strangers meeting at a bar and just seeing where that went. A little roleplay, like they sometimes enjoy doing. She should have suspected he was up to something the moment he suggested they choose the new bar as the place to meet, but how was she to know this was a karaoke bar? Charming's voice seeming to brush across her skin and making her feel flushed as the song continues. Hot under the collar definitely happening, she knows, oh so hot and thus oh so bothered. He smirks as he notices her expression, a self-satisfied smirk she wishes she could kiss right off him (and maybe she will. Later), but continues his song, hitting every note perfectly. Fuck him, she thinks hotly, and oh how she wants to. He is looking right at her as his voice rises and holds and holds, and her breath actually catches, fuck him. She's only dimly aware of the applause as he finishes, keeping her gaze locked in his as he steps off the stage and walks the few steps over to her. Oh, he definitely planned this. Planned to have them meet here, where he could sing to her, to make her so desperate to have him she would practically jump him. “Sorry about that,” he says, not sounding sorry in the least. “I signed up to do one song earlier tonight. I hope you're not bothered?” “I am,” she manages to say, and he tilts his head. “Bothered. Hot and bothered.” “Oh,” he breathes, but she can see his lips turn upwards slightly, a smile he can't quite suppress. He wanted this, she knows. He enjoys her wanting him, just like she enjoys him wanting her. “I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?” Without a word, she takes his hand in his, and walks off the dance floor. She can hear him breathe as he follows her, but he says nothing, nothing at all as she pulls him outside the club. Not a word as she practically drags him along the few blocks to the loft. It's dark and quiet, all theirs for the whole weekend. Her fingers feel clumsy as she tries to unblock the door, and she wonders if she's actually hazy with desire. She certainly feels as if she can't think clearly, her mind buzzing with desire and want. Finally, she manages to turn the key, stumbling inside and closing the door behind them both. He is looking at her intently as she faces him, his chest rising and falling as he breathes unevenly. She puts her hands around his neck, feeling his hand slip down to her lower back and linger there, pressing her so close she can feel the heat of his body. He can feel the heat of hers too, she knows. “Mmm,” he sings, and she glares at him. “Definitely hot and bothered.” “Make it up to me,” she tells him, licking her lips. “How?” he murmurs, his hands already roaming her body, tracing her hips and ass and following the arch of her back. “Fuck me,” she tells him, and his eyes darken. “Right here and right now – fuck me.” “Fuck you?” he echoes, his voice husky. “As you wish.” He kisses her at that, three light brushes of his lips against hers until she moans softly and he takes her parted lips as an opportunity to kiss her deeply. He even lifts her as his tongue seem to dance against hers, tasting her and making her breathless at the same time. She can feel the door pressing against her back, and locks her legs around his waist as he keeps kissing her greedily. Her dress, already short, seems to have crept up further, and she can feel the denim of his jeans against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. She would much rather feel his skin, and she tears impatiently at his shirt. He chuckles into the kiss, and then hums in appreciation as she manages to get enough of his shirt unbuttoned to brush her fingernails across the top of his chest. Of course, that isn't enough, and she keeps working at his button, finally managing the last one with a low, satisfied growl into the kiss. He doesn't stop kissing her as he helps her pull his shirt fully off, exposing his skin to her greedy touch. She can feel his chest rise and fall under her fingers, and increasingly uneven as he keeps kissing her as if he would happily continue to do so for the rest of his life. Of course, she would happily keep kissing Charming for the rest of her life too, but that's rather a lot more she would also like to do to and with Charming for the rest of her life. He seems aware of her impatience, because his hands seem to have managed to find the zipper of her dress and have expertly unzipped it, allowing him to pull the dress off her shoulders and expose her strapless bra. He breaks the kiss for a moment to look, his gaze warm as he regards her. He hasn't seen her in this particular red lace bra before, she knows. She's been saving it for a special occasion – like this. “Matching,” he remarks, voice uneven. Gently, he lowers her to her feet, letting her lean against the door for support. “Mmm,” she agrees, swallowing. “I thought red was a fitting color for someone looking to seduce a perfect stranger in a bar.” “A good choice,” he admits, and she smiles. “But when it comes to seducing this perfect stranger, there is something even more effective than wearing red.” “Oh?” she breathes, as she feels his fingers on her back, working to unhook her bra. She already knows the answer, but to hear him say it is still a thrill. It will always, always thrill her just how much he wants her, she suspects. “Wearing nothing,” he says, and her toes curl as he pulls her bra off and lowers his head to her right breast. Her nipples are already hard, and he licks one while drawing his thumb across the other. She arches into it, wanting more, wanting him, wanting. She rests her hands on his head as he licks and sucks one breast, then the other, drawing gasps and moans from her all the while. Her skin feels increasingly flushed, the heat of it pleasure and an ache for more at the same time. Dimly, she feels the dress fall the rest of the way off her and onto the floor. It takes a few attempts to step out of it and kick it away, given she's wearing heels, but she manages in the end. Of course, Charming is still much too dressed. He still has pants on, and that won't do. Boldly, she lowers her hands to the zipper of his pants. She can feel Charming smile at that, and a moment later he lifts his head to look at her. His gaze is dark with desire, but manages to be bright with mirth at the same time. “A perfect stranger going after what she wants,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “A woman after my own heart.” “What I want,” she says, pressing her palm against the bulge in his pants, “is you.” “You'll have me,” he promises, punctuating each word with a kiss. He stands perfectly still as she works the zipper, then pulls his pants off and lets them pool at his feet. He's wearing bird-dotted boxers, she notices, and can't help the soft giggle at that. Charming. Oh, Charming, how she loves him. They're new and everything. She's not the only one who's bought new underwear for a special occasion, it seems. “Perfect taste,” she tells him, but before he has time to answer, she strokes him through the cloth of the boxers and he lets out a slow, shuddering breath. He's already somewhat hard, she can tell, and when she dips her hand inside and strokes his flesh, he's practically straining into her hand. He closes his eyes and bites down hard on his lower lip as she strokes him again, feeling how smooth he is against her palm. Smooth and warm, and hard yet soft at the same time. She loves the feel of his cock like this in her hand, as always finding it a pleasure in itself to give him pleasure. “Definitely hot and bothered,” she observes, as he balls his fists at her touch. “Mmm,” he agrees, opening his eyes slightly to look at her through lowered eyelids. Before she has time to say anything else, he kisses her hotly, demanding, making her moan into the kiss. She can feel his hands find hers, lifting them above her head and keeping them trapped there while he keeps kissing her. They're both breathing raggedly when he finally breaks the kiss, moving his mouth to her earlobe and gently sucking on it for a moment. “Turn around.” It takes her a few seconds to make sense of the words, and her legs feel heavy as she turns to face the door. She rests her palms and her forehead against the door as she hears the rustle of clothes, and then she feels Charming sit down between her legs. Oh. Oh, she thinks again she feels Charming's mouth against the lace of her underwear, hot even through the cloth. Oh, and oh, as his hands move to the hem of her underwear and begins to peel it off agonizingly slowly, inch by inch. She has time to draw a sharp breath when he finally pulls it off her and lets it fall, and then he licks into her with a satisfied hum. She isn't sure what sound she makes, but it seems to encourage Charming further, as licks into her again, curling his tongue. It's all she can to to focus on remaining standing, listening to her own breathless whimpers. This must be the very definition of hot and bothered, she thinks dimly; Charming's mouth on her making every sensation one of warmth and pleasure, so much pleasure. Her whole body seems flush with it, singing with it, as she feels Charming press one final hard kiss against her and then stand up. She arches against him instinctively as he presses himself against her, his cock hard against her buttocks while he kisses her shoulders and her back. She can't properly see him like this, but oh, how she can feel him. “You're so perfect,” he whispers, breath hot against her ear as one of his hands settle on her hips. She has no breath to protest, and knows it would be pointless anyway. In his eyes, she is utterly, utterly perfect always and forever. He finds her perfect like this too, naked except for high heels, supporting herself against the door as she feels his cock slide teasingly between her legs and knows she's about to get utterly, utterly fucked. Even knowing it's coming, she still whimpers his name as he thrusts into her and kisses her neck at the same time. The friction of the thrust combined with the feeling of his cock inside her, smooth and warm, is definitely whimper-worthy, after all, as is the way his fingers dip down and begin rubbing against her. “Charming,” she pleads, as he thrusts again and brushes two fingers against her at the same time, feeling her whole body shudder with pleasure from the combined sensation. It feels overwhelming, overwhelmingly good. “I can't... Too much... I... Too good... I can't... Oh fuck.” “You can,” he whispers hotly by her ear. “You told me to fuck you. This is how I want to fuck you – right here and right now.” “I....” she breathes, her voice breaking. But he is right. She does want this, wants it desperately. “Yes.” She finds herself arching into his thrusts as he picks a slow, steady pace of deep thrusts coupled with slow circles by his fingers and light kisses against her neck, a wonderful torture of mounting pleasure that will become a surge, she knows. Every sensation seems like a new height of pleasure, and there seems to be no top, no end, building and building. Utterly, utterly fucked, she manages to thinking. Utterly, utterly wonderfully fucked with every thrust, every kiss, every touch of his fingers. “Still too good?” he asks, voice strained. “Better,” she manages to say, her head falling backwards as he stays still for a moment, buried deep inside her, just holding while she feels adrift. Her whole body feels tense, straining, filled, rising – and then he thrusts again while circling his thumb at the same time, and she is adrift and falling at the same time as everything is pleasure, bright and hot. Slowly, her senses start to return, and she is vaguely aware of being carried and lowered onto her bed. Charming, of course, kissing her face as he settles them both onto their sides, face to face. He even gently slips her high heels off, kissing her feet as he does. He looks focused, she notices, and realizes he's determined to deny his own pleasure for as long as possible to keep giving it to her. His cock is still hard, twitching slightly as she brushes her hand against it. “Charming,” she says hoarsely. “Fuck me.” “Soon,” he murmurs. “Want to make it perfect for you.” “Already is,” she says, pressing her thumb against his lip. “Fuck me.” He just looks at her for a moment, then groans as she presses herself against him as best she can. With a sigh, he seems to give in, and she watches his face turn bright with pleasure as he lifts her left leg and gently pushes into her again. She rests her leg on his hip as he inches deeper and deeper inside her, as far as he can go. He lingers like that, not moving, pressing his forehead against hers. He looks so very beautiful, she thinks, cheeks flushed and lips slightly parted. Her perfect Charming. As she clenches her muscles around him, he moans, and that is utterly perfect too. “Too good?” she teases. “Better,” he groans, closing his eyes as she rotates her hips slightly. “I... Oh fuck.” She caresses his face softly as he thrusts, hard and fast and slightly frantic, losing himself in the pleasure of it, of her, until he comes with a strangled cry. He looks so very lovely in the moment of it, and she kisses his face over and over until his breathing calms. He smiles at her, then kisses her gently. She falls asleep soon after, her head tucked underneath his hands stroking her back. II She wakes to singing. Charming, of course, singing the same song from last night, only this time he's in the kitchen, she realizes as she opens her eyes. He's making breakfast, and she simply watches him for a few moments. He's shirtless, clad only in gray pajamas pants, and she allows herself a few moments to ogle him and listen to him at the same time. He's making pancakes, of course, and have set the table. There's even a bouquet of snow bells on the table, making her smile. Charming. Oh, Charming. She finds a robe and slips it on, then pads into the kitchen. He looks up as she enters, giving her a soft smile. “Hello, perfect stranger,” he offers. “I hope you don't mind I spent the night.” “Why did you?” she asks, stepping closer. “Because I would like us to become more than perfect strangers,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She can only imagine that her hair is a right mess, but as always, he seems to find that perfect too. “What would you like us to become?” she asks, leaning against the kitchen counter as he looks down at her. “Lovers,” he says, his hands moving to her neck, caressing her skin gently. “In every meaning of the word.” “I'd like that too,” she murmurs, and he kisses her softly. “Lovers.” “Perfect lovers,” he adds after a moment, and she kisses him before he can say anything else. She puts her arms around him as he lifts her up, and she finds herself being lifted up on the kitchen counter. He places himself between her legs, letting her kiss him intently, while his hands slip inside her robe and caresses her skin. “What about the pancakes?” she teases, as his hand cups her breasts. “They'll get cold.” “Fuck the pancakes,” he mutters, voice husky. “Better plan – fuck Snow,” she offers, and he smiles. “Snow. Perfect name,” he says, running this thumb across her cheek. “Also perfect plan. Fuck Snow.” (Utterly perfect, in the end – on the kitchen counter and going for seconds on the kitchen table, two lovers going after what they both want.)

[tinnyshinny]

I’ve written previously about the toxic relationship I had with a narcissist. Around a year before I left the relationship I spoke to my sister and she told me to watch the Julia Roberts movie Sleeping With The Enemy repeatedly until it sank in. At the time she knew I desperately had to leave. However, I couldn’t. Not many people will understand this. Not even some of those who have since left the enemy will understand why I, or they, stayed in this type of relationship. I know this because it has taken me a very long time to understand it myself. And whilst trying to understand it, I have spoken to others who really cannot see why they couldn’t or didn’t leave either. Now I understand. Here it is. The beginning of the relationship was a whirlwind of love, passion, affection, attention and most of all magic. It was euphoric. I was spellbound. The truth—I was utterly charmed. The cornered pawn in an insidious game. Like a snake to its captor I was hypnotised until I was totally mesmerised. Dizzy and out of control. There was no balance. From the instant we met the scales tipped heavily on one side and my feet didn’t touch the ground until at least a year after I left. His feet were firmly planted. He knew exactly what he was doing and I was very easily to manipulate. I could call it naivety. However, I am going to be honest here as the purpose for writing this is so that others might resonate and hopefully it will help someone out there to swim—instead of sinking further under as I did. Therefore, I have to describe how it was. My self-esteem and self-worth were low. They fell terrifyingly and dangerously below any healthy par. In the beginning things were flirtatious, crazy, exciting and I carelessly drank the chemistry as though it were elixir. I was intoxicated. I never paused to wonder what powerful effects this magical medicine would have upon me. I called the intensity love. The reality was that I was a spider in a lethal web with deliberate lies being spun all around me. Though, I chose to believe the cocooned feeling I felt was love. It healed and soothed my soul. It was the balm I had been craving. At the time, I didn’t stop to question it all. Looking back now, I knew that it was fragile. I knew that there were cracks in the foundation and that if I chose to, I would see the damage and rot that lay beneath. But I chose to look the other way. I decided to pretend, so I could play a one-sided game of make-believe. I wanted happy-ever-after and I wasn’t interested in hearing about any consequences. My Prince Charming had arrived. Why the hell would he wish to harm me? It just didn’t make sense. (At the time…) I fooled myself drastically. I thought I was fooling others too. But no…everyone around me could clearly see. Of course they could. But, I told myself that they just didn’t understand what we had together. I was right. They didn’t understand at all. Though, not for the reasons I thought. I was captivated though only because I was at the receiving end of this guy’s adorable side. His other side wasn’t quite so pretty. He didn’t have the energy to keep up the charade for others and neither did he care to. So, unlike me those around me had access straight to his deceit driven core. It didn’t matter to him what others thought of him, as it wasn’t long before I was pretty much alienated from any good friend or family member that tried to make me see some sense. If others tried to warn me of the dangers I faced he would very quickly twist my perspective so that it turned against them. Yes, I was weak. No, I don’t blame him. I am aware that at any time I could have toughened up and seen through it all. But, I desperately ached for the fairy-tale. The controlling methods he used to keep me in place felt protective and the ways he debilitated me so that I became dependent felt like love and as though he cared. Of course, back then I had no idea that what he showed me wasn’t love. I hadn’t worked out how to love myself and up until that point what I had seen as love was never true or healthy so I trusted, hoped and believed that his words and actions were genuine. I so badly wanted to be loved, as much as I hate to admit this. So I accepted it in whatever form it was shown. This acceptance is what led me down the dark slippery slide to a vortex I now can only be describe as hell. The only difference being that every so often I was invited out to glimpse a sight of a glorious heaven. It was partly because the rollercoaster ride from one to the other left me so dizzy that I was unable to walk in a straight line and far from this “beautiful disaster.” It was also because I crazily believed that one day the ride might stop. My f*cked up thinking somehow thought the carriage would pull up alongside rose adorned gates. I would step out, dazed and confused, but loved. And truthfully, that is all that would have mattered. As ridiculous as it sounds, looking back, if at any point that madness and chaos had stopped I would have happily swept all cobwebs aside and waited as patiently as Cinderella in the midst of a nightmare. It is not easy to reflect and churn old memories around to recall the desperation and desire to be loved by someone who had no idea how to love. Again, I don’t want to make this sound as though it was anyone’s fault but my own. I chose someone who affirmed to me day after day what I already believed inside, that I wasn’t worthy. I know this now. I absolutely know for sure that if for one moment I had true value for myself I would never have allowed the destruction to take place. I would never have allowed a friend, family member or someone I loved or cared about to remain in such a volatile situation. Especially with someone who was so treacherous and careless with their body, mind, heart and soul. So, why did I allow myself to stay? Day after war-torn day. Every time the person I was desperate to love, and desperately wanted to love me, tore me down another light dimmed inside of me. Another ounce of strength dissipated and I was soon a shadow of my former self. Any confidence was long gone, any self-respect I had for myself had deserted me with no sign of return and any links to love I may have known had been ripped at the roots. If in the beginning I had any chance of walking away those chances had vanished without trace. I was now a mess and the further I fell the more worthless I became. Not just to myself, but also to the person I, for some ridiculous reason, believed was here to love me. Imagine this. In the beginning you don’t walk away, you are happily dancing blindly towards a dangerous liaison and one day you realise you are dancing alone in the dark. In the beginning you didn’t walk away as you clung to the opportunity the dance would continue and you would be truly loved. Now, weeks and months have passed. Your eyes are open but you still cannot see. And now you cannot move. For there are still manipulations, troubles and illusions waiting in the wings, ready to pounce. All traces of confidence and self-esteem have discarded and you are at rock bottom. You don’t know where, or who to turn to. You don’t know whom you can trust and who will throw you under or back on the manically looping roller coaster. Most of all, you don’t understand the “whys” of any of it. Nothing and no one makes sense. And you make the least sense of all. The trauma and damage that has been inflicted has left you writhing in so much pain that you are now emotionally numb. The tears have all dried and you know you need to walk, but you have no idea where to and you don’t even know how to stand up. In a trance like state you make a call. It takes all of your strength as the fear is still there. You cannot let the person who has been playing a game with your life know that it will soon be over. As a step in that direction may be the last you’ll make. The person on the other end of the phone tells you to watch a movie. Over and over again. Sleeping With The Enemy. You turn the television on. Slow and very small steps, but the most important ones you will ever take. You watch and you learn. You take more steps. You regain a little confidence. You regain your independence. You regain a little strength. All the time you are living in fear. You sleep with the enemy. You know no other way. Until one day. You find the strength and courage and you run. You don’t look back. And for the longest time you will never understand why you continued sleeping with the enemy. And then one day it just clicks. And that’s when you know no other person will ever be able to show you a false and vicious face of love. Because, you learned what true love feels like when you finally learned what it feels like to love yourself. No one will ever taunt you with their demons or have the power to destroy you again. No one.