#the only reason i wont show this scene is if i think it hits harder as an off-screen thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tundrainafrica · 4 years

Note

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship).

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship.

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema.

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA.

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at.

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it.

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it.

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate.

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder.

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them.

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can come from.

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years.

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place. Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these?

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore.

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction.

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships.

As mentioned above...

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question...

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levi ackerman #hange zoe #ship #analysis

218 notes · View notes

stayextrafrosty · 4 years

Text

I’m Dying for a Taste of You

Summary: Alex Manes is a vampire hunter tasked with hunting down rogues who kill humans. His next target is Michael Guerin. Known to sometimes over-indulge at the blood balls and was placed at the most recent scene by witnesses. But this might be more than Alex bargained for. Top Michael. Bottom Alex. Alex POV. PLEASE READ WARNINGS

A/N: I just wanted an excuse to have the two of them flirt while a weapon is pressed between them. Because reasons. I’ve left this open for continuation but I want to finish my other AU before starting a whole new one. There are the beginnings of a plot but this truly is just porn. Cute ending though.

Warnings: Please be aware that the kinks featured in here get intense. Light masochism, biting, blood drinking, overstimulation, marking/claiming, Dom/sub, Predator/prey, possessive behavior. There are some soft moments but it is very much a rough and dirty sex fest. Read at your own discretion.

Read on AO3 // Masterlist

Alex was no stranger to the smell of blood but this place made even him want to gag. Scantily clad men and women wandered around shamelessly, blood dripping from various wounds on their body. More power to them he supposed but how anyone could enjoy being sucked within an inch of their life by a vampire was beyond him.

Blood balls were the equivalent of drug dens. Except these were technically legal. Alex looked back at the police officers positioned at the doors and around the room. No one was supposed to die here but someone clearly missed that memo.

He knew he was overdressed. As a donor at least. He wanted to cover as much of his skin as possible without drawing suspicion. He didn’t need his target sniffing him out before he had time to take the shot. Not to mention he needed to keep his gun concealed. There was also a retractable knife slid into the side of his boot.

He looked down into his glass, the whiskey inside colored red from the lights surrounding him. He hadn’t seen his target yet. Then again, maybe he was already here, back in one of the private rooms drinking and being sucked off by his next victim.

“Hey there. You must be new,” a sweet, feminine voice said. He looked up as the young woman sat across from him. Her corset pushed her boobs up in a way he was sure drove any straight or bi man crazy. Long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Tall, slender. She was beautiful. Or at least she was until he noticed the blood dribbling from the side of her lips.

“Sorry. I’m just observing today,” he said shyly, hoping it would get her to go away.

“Oh honey. Careful with that one. Remember where you are.” How could he forget. Her nails tapped on the table a couple times before she grinned at him, flashing her fangs. She made her way around the table to stand in front of him.

“Just a tip, the best way to know if you’re into this or not, is to jump right in. I’d be happy to go easy on you. Or, if I’m not your type… I know some sweet guys who would treat you right.”

His shoulders tensed. Not that this was a place where he should be nervous about being gay. Most vampires didn’t seem to care one way or another. The woman leaned in close, the smell of her perfume covering the blood pretty well.

“I also recommend leaving that gun tucked away,” she teased. His eyes darted around the room, checking to see if anyone heard her. But if she noticed, chances are the others did too. Was his cover blown before he even started the mission?

“Maybe you can help me then.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m looking for a rogue vampire. He’s been killing women he takes home from this place.” She hummed and looked around.

“Does this vampire have a name or are you throwing around baseless claims, hunter.” Her voice was still sweet but there was an edge now. The nails on her fingers could almost certainly rip his throat out before he had time to react.

“The suspect is named Michael Guerin. Do you know him?” She barked out a laugh.

“You must be delusional. Michael wouldn’t hurt anyone. In fact, no one at this club does that kind of thing. If they do, we dispose of them ourselves.” He was taken aback. The woman played with the edge of her corset.

“I recommend you get out of here. You won’t find what you’re looking for,” she said, crossing her arms. He clenched his fists and stood slowly.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

He turned and ran into a hard chest that didn’t budge. He gazed into golden brown eyes. A sharp jaw and a scruff that clearly hadn’t been shaved in days. A crown of curls sat atop his head and a lazy grin sat on his lips.

His shirt had the sleeves rolled up and buttons left undone. There was an unmistakable red stain covering the shirt. His slacks hung low, button and zipper left open. Alex wanted to drool at the sight. He mentally scolded himself. There was nothing attractive about a vampire.

“Someone looking for me?” His voice warmed Alex in places he knew it shouldn’t have. This was his target. “Should we go to my private room? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable on your first time,” he said, shamelessly looking Alex up and down. His cheeks warmed and he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Careful there brother. He’s a hunter,” the woman said.

“Thanks Izzy. I got this. I think that beautiful girl I saw you flirting with earlier is waiting.” Alex assumed she left. He couldn’t take his eyes of Michael. He must be using a charm of some sort. It was the only explanation. He was a professional damnit.

Alex shook his head and broke eye contact with him. Not all vampires could control minds that way but it was better safe than sorry.

“Please. Follow me,” Michael said, turning away from him. Alex’s head jerked up to watch him go. He shouldn’t follow. It was safer surrounded by people. But he was inviting him to be in close quarters, making it easier to kill him.

The two of them walked away from the slow throbbing music. They passed a couple. A man leaned over another, licking up the blood that had run down the other’s chest. The man being fed on was clearly into it. Their moans were vulgar and Alex turned away from them. How could anyone just do that in front of others?

Michael led him to a door, even going as far as to open it for him. He wanted to reach for his gun but pulling to early would compromise the mission. He had to wait until his guard was down. Vampires enter an intoxicated like state after feeding. That was his opening. If he had to spill a bit of blood to complete the mission then he would.

The door led to a long hall with several doors lining the walls all the way down. Michael walked down about halfway before stopping in front of another door. It had his name scrawled on a golden plaque.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to give me your gun mister hunter. I’m sure you can understand why. I’d hate to have to kill you before we get a chance to talk so best to just comply.” Alex met his stare for a brief moment before reaching inside his leather jacket to the holster for his gun.

He handed it over cautiously, praying that he didn’t just shoot him. Then again, Michael liked to drain his victims. There was never a single drop of spilled blood on the scene. Michael smiled and stepped inside the room. Alex followed him in and looked around.

The lighting in here was more normal though it still had a red tint. A loveseat sat to the side and a bed in the middle of the room, headboard pressed against a wall. Alex didn’t know what to do. The bed was too intimate. The loveseat reminded him too much of a casting couch from porn.

Michael fiddled with glasses at a small bar filled with various hard liquor and wine. He set the gun down next to an open bottle of bourbon. He must have been pretty confident to think that Alex couldn’t get it back from there.

“Well don’t just stand there. The bed and couch are cleaned between visitors.” Michael handed him a glass. He wasn’t going to drink it.

“I just have some questions for you. It wont take long,” he said.

“The first thing you say to me is a promise that I won’t get to enjoy this for long? Tell me, do you like to torture men?” Alex rolled his eyes but as hard as he tried, his flirting was getting to him.

“I just want to know if you’ve seen this girl,” he pulled the folded photo from his pocket and handed it to Michael. He looked at it for a moment and then shook his head.

“Can’t say that I have. Then again I don’t keep track of every person that comes here. And some guests opt to wear masks if you hadn’t noticed.” He had noticed. Which made this even harder. But this man had to be the killer. He was placed at multiple scenes by witnesses.

“How often do you leave with your food for the night,” he said, letting his disgust sneak through.

“Oh, I see. I’m a suspect.” Michael let out a heavy sigh, not seeming bothered by his comment in the slightest. He seemed more disappointed than defensive.

“Just answer the question,” Alex ordered. Michael’s nose twitched. He was moving into dangerous territory. This man could easily kill him if he wasn’t prepared. He shouldn’t be trying to piss him off but he couldn’t stop himself.

“For your information. We have rules.” He stepped closer. “We don’t leave with the donors. They all leave first.” Another step. “And we stay behind.” He was just a few inches away. “It’s also frowned upon to seek out donors outside of blood balls.” Alex’s breath hitched in his throat as he leaned in. Michael cursed under his breath and let out a heavy sigh. The tips of his fangs reflected the light.

“I don’t think you know how good you smell,” he muttered. Alex felt his cheeks flush. He tried backing up but his legs hit the loveseat, making him stumble back on it instead. Michael hovered over him, placing his hands on either side of his head. Alex couldn’t sink any farther into the couch.

Michael placed a knee between his legs on the couch, leaning into him. His eyes showed hunger and lust. Alex tried to squash down his own excitement. It was fucked up. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He should be repulsed. But his body just wouldn’t listen.

Not wanting to ruin his jacket (at least that’s what he told himself) he shrugged it off and tossed it to the side. His heart raced when Michael groaned and ran his tongue over his teeth.

“I knew you liked teasing. I promise to be gentle.” Alex gripped the couch as his head moved to the crook of his neck. He tried to stay still but he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and pull him closer. Michael’s breath tickled his neck. “You can ask me to stop,” he said, voice shaking with need.

He wanted to. He didn’t want to.

This man was a murderer and he needed to end this before he was the next victim. Alex stamped down his desire and shoved Michael back. He wished he could have appreciated the surprise on his face longer.

He grabbed the knife in his boot, flicking the blade open. He tackled the vampire to the ground, straddling his hips, knife pressed to his neck. Michael just laughed and watched him.

“Now that you have me like this what exactly do you intend to do?”

“You will die here. You didn’t show mercy to those girls and I refuse to show mercy to you!” He pressed the blade into his skin, drawing a line of blood. This was it. All he had to do was pull and he would die. At least long enough to put a bullet in his head.

So why did he fucking hesitate?

“One second too long hunter.”

He was flung back. Or rather carried by Michael. His back hit the wall, knocking the air from his lungs. His hand wrapped firmly around his neck. Michael snarled at him, fangs on full display for Alex to see. He twisted the knife from his grip.

“Kill me if you want! There’ll just be more,” Alex threatened. Michael traced the point of the knife down Alex’s face, never pressing hard enough to draw blood. He shook his head.

“I don’t want to kill you. It would be a waste of a beautiful face.” he responded. His eyes flicked down. “Your body is far better suited for pleasure.” He knew he was blushing. What was this game they were playing? He dragged the knife over his neck and down his chest. His muscles tensed and he hated the way his cock responded. This had to be a spell.

“You don’t know shit about me! It’s not real pleasure if you have to put someone under a spell.” Michael’s eye twitched with annoyance. He pulled the knife away and released his grip on his throat.

What the hell?

“I don’t use that shit. It’s better if they actually want it.” He paused and shook his head. “I didn’t hurt those girls either. But you’re going to believe what you want.”

Michael turned away from him and moved back to where he had set the gun down. He picked it up after retracting the blade of the knife. He walked back to stand in front of Alex, holding out both weapons in front of him.

“Just leave hunter.” He took the gun and knife from him, wide eyed. They never taught them what to do when the vampire gives the weapons back. Especially not with a face that looked so crushed. Michael was back to pouring himself another drink

“Alex,” he found himself saying. Michael’s head turned slightly.

“What?”

“My name is Alex. So you can stop calling me ‘Hunter.’”

“Why tell me? We’re never going to see each other again,” he said with a humorless laugh.

“Well that would be a shame,” Alex joked back without thinking.

He wanted to eat his words. For a second he forgot he was dealing with a vampire. He didn’t want to flirt with him. But the way the muscles in his back flexed at his words made it hard to regret. He watched his hands grip the bar, knuckles turning white.

“Leave Alex. Or I might do something you don’t want.”

Alex should leave. He knows it. But that look was so lost. So broken. And so familiar. He’d seen that look on himself in the mirror. He dropped his weapons on the couch, watching Michael’s shoulders jump at the sudden noise.

He took slow cautious steps toward the vampire, watching his breathing grow more erratic with every step.

“Please, don’t come any closer,” he begged. Alex stopped. He was close enough to touch him but didn’t want to upset him further. “I told you that you smelled good. That was an extreme understatement.” Alex stood there quietly for a moment, heart racing.

“What do I smell like,” he asked quietly. Michael let out a strained whine.

“Like fucking heaven. Vanilla, leather, alcohol and about a million other things. I can hear your heart racing you know. I’m scared that if I were to taste you, it would never be enough.” Alex swallowed.

“Why?” Michael spun around and stepped into his personal space, their noses nearly touching. His fangs were fully extended

“Because I can tell. You’re blood would be like top shelf drugs. There’s other vamps out there that can smell you and are pissed they can’t have you. Don’t let any vampire have you, understand? Claiming would be inevitable.”

He had only heard the most basic information about a vampires claim. They usually did it with another vampire but sometimes they would claim a human. It was the equivalent of marriage. He didn’t know much about the actual process.

“I understand.”

Michael stepped back again, running his hands over his face, probably trying to make his fangs go away. Alex knew that wasn’t easy. Once they had been pushed that far, it was either feed or starve until you can distract yourself from it. Like an even worse form of blue balls.

The thing was. If Alex left right now, Michael would go back out there and find some other donor to satisfy him. The thought made him clench his fists. Why was he jealous? It wasn’t like Michael was his. He didn’t want anyone to drink his blood. Even if it was someone as beautiful as Michael.

Alex turned away from him to grab his jacket and weapons. They would never see each other again after tonight. He would keep looking into the deaths of the girls. But he knew for certain it wasn’t Michael. He picked up his jacket and held it on his arm. He looked down at the knife. Then the gun. Then the knife again. He dropped his jacket.

He picked up the blade and flicked it open.

Am I really going to do this?

Yes. He was. He pressed the blade to the pad of his hand. He sliced.

The knife was flung out of his hand and he was pressed against the wall once again. Michael’s eyes were filled with fury and hunger. Heat shot straight down to his groin.

“What the fuck are you doing? I just said—”

“Drink.” Blood dripped down his arm. Michael’s eyes were wide and desperate.

“Alex,” he groaned.

He pushed his hand closer to his face. Michael just turned away. Fighting every natural instinct he should have. Alex pulled his hand back, pressing his own mouth to his wound. His blood was warm and tasted coppery. Though he knew it would be different for Michael.

Michael gasped like he was in pain. Maybe he was. Either way he didn’t hold Alex down hard enough to restrict his movements. He lifted his non-bleeding hand to turn Michael toward him again. Their eyes met briefly. Alex leaned in slowly, wanting to give him the option to back out.

The blood on his lips should have repulsed him. Yet he was finding that none of this was repulsing if it was Michael. Their mouths pressed together. Michael tried to keep his tongue from licking at the blood on his mouth but it was no use.

A shudder ran through Michael. Then he was yanking Alex flush against him, tongue driving past his lips to taste his own. Alex whimpered as his fangs grazed over his bottom lip. Suddenly he was laying on the bed, Michael positioned between his legs and hovering over him.

“I’m sorry,” he said desperately. He leaned to lick up the blood that had dripped and Alex’s hips rolled of their own accord. Michael groaned, pressing his hips against Alex in return.

Michael sealed his mouth over the cut, tongue running over the shallow wound and sucking gently. His teeth scraped but never pierced skin. Alex pushed his shirt off one shoulder and Michael yanked his arm out and the other followed. He tossed it somewhere in the room and moaned when Alex ran his hand over his torso.

He watched Michael in awe. It looked like he was kissing his hand. It was beautiful.

After a minute or so, Michael pulled away, a drop of blood still on his lips. Alex leaned up to kiss him again, wrapping an arm around his neck. His hands found the hem of his t-shirt and pulled up. They broke apart to toss it away as well.

Their skin moved against one another so easily, like they were made for this. For each other.

Michael broke the kiss again, resting his forehead against Alex’s. His teeth still hadn’t retracted. Alex, stroked his face softly. Then he turned his head to the side, exposing his neck.

“Fuck Alex. I said don’t let anyone have you. That includes me,” he said, tracing his fingers over his pulse point. His mouth may as well have been watering.

“But you need it don’t you?” Alex glanced back at him, angling his head further, encouraging him. Michael pressed his mouth against his neck, licking slowly. He kissed and sucked but never bit him. Alex rolled his hips again.

“I can find another donor. I won’t hurt you,” Michael pleaded. His voice was strained. It was taking everything he had to resist. A stab of pain in his heart. He shoved Michael back and grabbed his face, forcing him to meet his eyes.

“I don’t want you to find another donor.” His eyes flashed red, bloodlust taking over him. Alex leaned in close, pressing a hard, fast kiss to his mouth. He wasn’t afraid. This beast could kill him but he wasn’t afraid. He dragged his lips down Michael’s jaw and neck until he got to his pulse point. Then he bit.

Alex was yanked fully onto the bed, arms pinned above him. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to. Pure power rolled off Michael in waves. Alex knew the dangers of triggering bloodlust but he did it anyway. He wanted it more than anything. Wanted Michael to just take what he needed. But he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, Michael wouldn’t hurt him either.

“You want this, Hunter? Fine. But we do it my way.” He laughed, burying his face against his neck, teeth scratching gently. Alex’s jeans were too tight and he wanted nothing more than to have them ripped off of him. Literally. “Never thought I’d see the day a hunter would beg for it like this,” he teased.

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind,” he ordered. Michael just shook his head, leaning close.

“Bossy, bossy.” He kissed him again. All the vampires he had interacted with until now had been almost cool to the touch. But Michael… he was as warm as Alex. Maybe it was the bloodlust or the desire but fuck if he didn’t love it.

He dug his nails into his back, pulling him in. Other guys he had been with hadn’t been into that but vampires were different. They lived for the pain. Or rather, as he was learning, the line between pain and pleasure.

Michael moaned and nipped at his bottom lip. This time though, he let his fang catch, letting a drop of blood form before licking it away. His body shuddered at the taste. Alex didn’t know how he could be turned on but if he went to hell for the things he was feeling right now, then it would all be worth it.

Michael released his arms, dragging his hands down his body to the waistband of his jeans. His nimble fingers undid the button and zipper, yanking them down quickly. He broke the kiss again, making Alex whimper from the loss of contact.

“Patient hunter. I know you can be.” The nickname was no longer filled with suspicion and annoyance. Rather it sent another shot of need to his hard dick.

Michael went to pull his jeans completely off but stopped short of his knee. Alex froze. In all the tension and fighting, he had completely forgotten about his missing leg. He had never been so gone to forget that. What was this man doing to him? He looked down at Michael, worried this would make him stop all together.

“On or off?” It was such a simple question. But the fact that he had asked, while still very much in bloodlust had Alex relaxing back against the bed again.

“I can move better with it on. But if you want it off so you can have your wicked way with me…” Michael laughed and pressed his head against Alex’s thigh, nuzzling him.

“If you’ll let me, I’ll take care of you,” he assured. Alex nodded and sat up, beginning the process of removing the prosthetic. Michael moved to a different part of his body. He crawled around behind Alex and was kissing his shoulders, hands roaming all over his biceps and torso.

Alex tried to not get distracted but damn that mouth. His tongue darted out every now and then, wetting his skin. When he finally got it off along with the sock, Michael took it from him gently, setting it on the floor.

He resumed his attention on his shoulders and neck. Alex relaxed against him, whimpering sounds slipping from his mouth. Michael had found his pulse point again and was paying special focus on that one spot. His hands wandered down to his underwear and the very noticeable bulge. Alex groaned when he cupped him through the fabric. Michael didn’t tease long before he had pulled him out of the constricting material, rubbing him slowly.

“Fuck,” Alex sighed out. He felt Michael’s grin on his neck. Alex reached behind him, tangling his fingers in the beautiful curls, pressing his mouth over his artery. This pulled a moan from Michael.

“I’m dying for a taste of you. Please, can I have you,” he begged. Alex felt his teeth again and his cock jumped in anticipation.

“Yes,” he breathed out.

Michael didn’t go straight in like he thought he would. He pulled away from his neck, a tight control on his movements. He readjusted so that he sat behind Alex, legs on either side, body pressed flush against Alex’s. His slacks did nothing to hide his obvious arousal and it pressed against Alex’s lower back.

“Lean back against me and relax as much as you can,” he ordered gently. His hand continued stroking him, though it was more a second thought. Alex did as he was told, running his hands over what he could reach of Michael’s arms.

Michael’s free hand held his jaw gently, tilting his head to the side. He locked his lips over the spot again but still didn’t bite. He sucked and massaged with his tongue, serving only to work Alex up, making him thrust into the hand still wrapped around his cock. When he was satisfied, he pulled away, speaking low next to Alex’s ear.

“This might hurt at first. But it’ll get better. Trust me.” And he did. Alex didn’t know why, but he did.

Michael licked his neck again. Desire coiled in his stomach. A light pinch, then a throbbing pain. He gasped as Michael’s teeth sunk into him. His first instinct was to yank himself away but the warmth spreading throughout his body called for a different reaction.

His hand found its way into Michael’s curls again, holding him in place. His eyes fluttered shut, getting lost in the feeling of having Michael attached to his neck. He felt more than heard him groan. His hips jerked up into his hand again.

The dizziness set in quick, as though he had been drugged. Every part of his body felt like a nerve ending and all he wanted was Michael’s hands everywhere. The hand wrapped around his cock stroked with more purpose. Alex moaned loudly, not caring if anyone heard. Maybe even wanting people to hear.

He could feel Michael’s tongue licking at his neck where the blood dripped. His hips stuttered, struggling to keep up with the pace Michael set. Alex cursed and tugged on his hair. Desire twisted in his stomach and every muscle in his body flexed.

His orgasm hit harder than he expected. His back arched away from Michael though he was held in place. White stripes spurt over his torso and Michael’s hand. His body shuddered as he kept working him, overstimulating to the point of pain.

“Fuck! Michael…” he gasped out. He felt Michael detach from his throat. He pressed his tongue to the wounds, slowing the bleeding. He released his cock, running his hands up over his torso and through the cum. Alex whimpered at the touches. Every nerve in his body screamed for more while simultaneously making him want to run away for a bit of relief.

The waves kept rolling through his body, as though he hadn’t come down from his orgasm. He dug his fingers into Michael’s head and twisted his other hand into the sheets. The small moans only seemed to urge Michael on. He ran his hands over every part of Alex he could reach. He pressed gentle kisses to his neck.

“Shh… it’ll pass. Just relax,” he whispered to him.

“What… did you… do…” Alex panted out as his cock attempted to reharden.

“It’s my venom. I use it to take away the pain.”

Vampire venom. Sold on the black market as a party drug. When used in excess, it can put someone out for almost a day. In small doses, an aphrodisiac. When injected straight into the bloodstream…

“Fuck I feel everything… it’s too much, damnit!”

“It’ll wear off in a couple minutes. I’ll let you go until then.” Michael released him. He moved fluidly, not even brushing against Alex as he got off the bed. Alex scratched at his skin. He reached in the direction of the vampire. His fingers brushed against strong abs.

He refocused his eyes and took in the beautiful sight of him. His slacks still hung low and open. Enough that Alex could tell he didn’t have any underwear on. His muscles tensed under his fingers. He dragged his gaze up his body and finally landed on his face. Blood dripped from his lips and his pupils were dilated. His teeth had retracted so they only looked slightly longer than normal.

Alex grabbed his wrist, pulling him back onto the bed and on top of him. Michael let his surprise show when Alex grabbed him and kissed him. He hesitated at first but soon he was kissing Alex with all of his pent up need.

Alex grabbed his slacks, yanking them down to free his cock. He needed Michael inside him. Prep be damned.

“Fuck me. I need you to fuck me,” he pleaded, trying to pull him closer. He kicked off his own underwear in the process. Michael groaned and kissed him again. Alex felt the prick of his teeth.

“Damnit,” he cursed, pulling away from the kiss and hiding his face. Alex had caught the briefest glimpse of his teeth. Alex reached up to pull the hand away from his mouth. The teeth were already back. “I knew you would be a fucking addiction. I’ve had you and now... It doesn’t help when you say things that make me want to claim you,” he growled as he nuzzled against his shoulder. Alex’s heart flipped. He knew it shouldn’t have but this man turned out to be an addiction for him too.

“I need you Michael,” he mumbled again, taking his hand and dragging it down his body. His cock was half hard again. He was ready. Michael felt this and gave a low laugh.

“Who am I to deny you, hunter?” Michael was gone for less than a second before he was settling between Alex’s thighs, a bottle of lube in his hand.

Michael kissed his thighs as he coated two fingers with lube. Alex tried to keep as still as possible but the venom still working its way through his system had him thrusting toward wherever Michael touched him.

Michael rubbed around his puckered hole, the cool temperature of the lube a startling contrast to his own body. He pushed himself up on his elbows so he could watch Michael. The sweat that had formed on his neck rolled down his chest.

“Fuck, you smell even sweeter down here. But I feel like you’ll be pissed if I mark you up too much,” he said, nuzzling the soft inside of his thigh. He pressed a finger inside him, moving slowly. Teasing.

Alex let out a strained moan, the sound catching in his throat. He had to know what he was doing. How drawing this out drove him so crazy. He’d always been a patient person but with Michael, it wasn’t fast enough. He grabbed Michael’s hair, forcing him to look up at him.

“Mark me up as much as you want. But move your damn fingers faster or I might kill you,” he threatened. A sinful smirk grew on his face.

“You really know how to get a guy going,” he teased back. Alex would have responded but the finger that had been teasing him curved up, pressing against his prostate. His head rolled back as he released Michael’s hair and a second finger pushed in with the first.

The damned things fucked him open as he felt Michael’s tongue on his thigh. A quick nip then the sharp pinch of his teeth. The pain was hardly there compared to the first bite. The warmth that had been subsiding roared back to an inferno. His brain didn’t know what to focus on.

Michael decided for him as he scissored his fingers and began pushing a third in. He massaged the muscles, rubbing against Alex’s prostate more with every thrust. He was close again. Twice in less than ten minutes. It had to be a record. For him at least.

“Gunna… come…” He mumbled out. His hips moved with the thrusting of his fingers, forcing them deeper. Michael groaned and lifted the leg he was attached to over his shoulder, opening Alex up and giving him a better angle.

Michael seemed to bite down harder, sending a sting of pain through him. The not unwelcome feeling made his cock jump. He panted, reaching down to tangle his fingers in Michael’s hair again. He cursed as the fingers buried inside him spread him open. They twisted and curled to press against all the right places.

It was the press of a fourth finger that sent him spiraling over the edge again. His vision went white as it pushed in with the others. A choked sob ripped from his throat as his hips jerked, adding to the mess covering his torso. Alex fell to the bed, back arching as he gripped the sheets and Michael’s hair.

He felt Michael detach himself from his thigh, licking at the wounds to stop the bleeding. He pulled his fingers out of Alex’s ass slowly, careful to not press against any more sensitive areas. Alex’s head was spinning. Was it the orgasm or the loss of blood?

His hand fell from Michael’s hair as he crawled up his body, hovering over him. Alex’s half lidded eyes let him take in the beautiful man. He looked every bit like a predator deciding how to kill its prey. The blood that ran down his jaw and neck only made Alex want him more. He belonged to this man now. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind.

Michael leaned in close, nuzzled the side of his neck that he hadn’t bit. Alex whimpered as his head rolled to the side. He would let this man kill him if he wanted. Michael exhaled a laugh, pressing soft kisses to his jaw and over his cheek. A gentle finger turned Alex’s head back to face him. Michael kissed him gently.

“No more. Don’t need you passing out from blood loss.” He brushed a piece of hair off Alex’s forehead, smiling sweetly. “You ok?”

Alex didn’t know if he could give an answer. He felt more than ok but also very obviously not thinking clearly. His body burned from the venom but he found that it wasn’t like before. He wasn’t desperate for more but Michael’s hands on his body were a welcome feeling rather than a painful one.

“I think so. What did you do,” he asked slowly when he found his words again.

“I took back some of the venom. While another vampire might be able to handle going a third round right away, I’m well aware you’re just a human,” he joked, rolling off and propping himself up on his elbow.

Alex looked over at him in all his naked glory. He was still rock hard and Alex felt bad that he hadn’t gotten off yet.

“You saying I’m not as good as another vampire,” he teased half-heartedly. Michael rolled his eyes and leaned in, speaking low against his ear.

“You far surpass any vampire. But if you were one… I could fuck you all night.” His heart hammered in his chest. Michael’s fingers traced patterns over his arm and torso, placing featherlight kisses to the spot under his ear and his jaw.

“You’re saying you want to turn me?” Michael froze in his movements, his body tensing.

“Careful Alex. Even suggesting it - especially when I’m high on you - the temptation is there. The idea of having you with me forever… fuck I want it. But you don’t deserve that kind of life.”

His heart skipped a beat. The idea didn’t exactly make him cringe or feel disgusted. Anything to keep this man next to him. His brain wasn’t in a right state and he knew it. As much as he wanted to believe it was.

He didn’t respond to the words. Just turned to face the vampire. He pushed him to his back slowly, pressing kisses to his collarbone and moving down his torso. Michael sighed happily, gently running his hand through Alex’s hair.

He nipped at the muscles on his sides, earning him a mixture of laughs and quiet moans. Alex wrapped his hand around his hard cock, rubbing slowly as he kissed his abs and down to his hips.

“Fuck Alex,” he breathed out. He felt himself grin. He moved and licked the head of his cock. Michael groaned and rolled his hips slightly. Alex took him into his mouth, using his hand to control how deep he went. The weight was heavy on his tongue and the salty taste made him moan. He hadn’t given head in a long time and he was remembering why he loved it so much. Then again, maybe it was just Michael.

Alex moved his tongue to massage the length of him. Michael rocked his hips slowly, never rushing him, just petting his head softly. He occasionally pulled but never hard. Alex relaxed his jaw, taking in more of him every downstroke. The head eventually hit the back of his throat. He held him there for a moment, loving the feel of him throbbing in his mouth.

Alex looked up at Michael through his eyelashes. He groaned and his hips jerked, making Alex gag slightly.

“Your mouth is a sin, hunter. I don’t know how long I can keep from fucking it.” The words sent desire straight to his cock. Though he wasn’t quite ready to have Michael abusing his ass again, he could at least give him a good blowjob.

Alex moaned around his cock, removing the hand wrapped around the base to run over his thighs. He dug his nails into the soft skin and scratched. Michael’s hips jerked again but he didn’t gag this time.

“You want me to fuck your mouth? Use you? Take what I want?” Alex groaned at the thought. That was exactly what he wanted. Michael pulled him off his cock. He released him with a wet pop and smirked at the vampire. He shook his head before climbing off the bed and standing at the edge.

“Lay down you damn brat.” Alex positioned himself on his stomach in front of him. He looked up at him, waiting for instructions. Michael ran a hand through his hair and down his face, looking at him almost lovingly.

“Tap my leg twice if it’s too much.” Alex nodded. “Words,” he ordered. Alex shuddered at the demanding tone.

“Ok.” Michael smiled and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his mouth. He pulled back slightly, still close enough for their lips to touch when he spoke.

“Now open your mouth and look at me the whole time.” Alex watched him as he stood up. He opened his mouth as ordered, waiting for any further requests. There were none as the fingers in his hair tugged gently and Michael was slipping his dick into his mouth.

Alex wanted to let his eyes close to focus on the feeling of him but he didn’t want to disobey him. Somehow he thought he might regret it. Michael moaned and started rocking his hips, slowly at first. He did the same as Alex had done earlier, working himself all the way in as to not choke him. Though Alex wouldn’t have minded it.

Michael hit the back of his throat and he shuddered at the feeling. His fingers tightened in his hair and he thrust his hips forward. Michael moaned and did it again. Curses tumbled from his lips as he fucked into his mouth. Alex groaned around him, causing his hips to stutter in their rhythm. Alex’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Look at me.” The order was practically growled at him. His eyes popped open and Michael forced his cock deep, triggering his gag reflex again. He gripped Michael’s thighs, attempting to control his thrusts. Unsuccessfully.

Michael thrust into him hard and fast. His own cock was starting to feel neglected and he rubbed himself against the sheets, looking for friction. Michael laughed and smirked above him, never faltering in his movements

“Is your cock hard already? You’re so fucking good for me. I don’t know how I’ll ever let you go. Maybe I won’t.” Alex moaned again, rocking his own hips. Michael panted above him, watching him the whole time.

Alex glanced down at his slightly elongated canines. They weren’t like before but Alex knew he was craving something. He met his gaze again and Michael growled placing a hand over his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Alex didn’t know what he saw but he didn’t have time to dwell. Michael’s thrusts were losing their pattern, getting deeper and harder.

Then he was calling out. Moaning loudly and shoving himself to the back of Alex’s throat. Hot spurts coated his mouth as he swallowed as best he could. The throbbing against his tongue had his own hips picking up speed. He was past the point of caring that he was dry humping the bed like a teenager.

Michael pulled away and was hauling Alex up to his knees, crushing his mouth to his. His tongue darted out to taste himself. Michael wrapped his arms around his waist, keeping most of his weight off his legs. Alex groaned at the pressure of his cock being trapped between them, pressing against Michael’s abs.

“You’re so sexy... So responsive… Drives me crazy,” he punctuated each phrase with a kiss. Alex took his face in his hands, running his fingers over the stubble. He pressed his forehead against Michael’s, just breathing him in. He smelled like rain. He ran his thumb over his lips, and when Michael’s mouth opened, slipped one inside.

He brushed it over his tongue and back out. He did it again, this time pausing to catch his thumb over one fang. Michael took in a shaky breath, as though this was the most intimate thing they had done since meeting.

Alex could no longer imagine his life without Michael in it. He refused to have this be the only time they saw each other. Despite all his training to kill people like him. He was beginning to think it was all a lie. What had these people really done? Just because they drank blood from willing doners? Sure some of them killed people and they should be held to the laws of the government, just like anyone else. But to generalize a whole group? That sounded too familiar.

The pad of his thumb caught on the point of his tooth, drawing blood. He hissed, more out of surprise than pain. But Michael didn’t see it that way. He took Alex’s hand and pulled it away from his mouth, holding it to his chest.

“Sorry. You shouldn’t mess with those. I don’t want to hurt you unnecessarily.” Alex smiled and shook his head. He tugged his hand out of Michael’s and pressed his thumb to his lip, just as he did earlier with his palm.

He kissed him softly. Michael whimpered as he licked at his lip. Alex found himself being lifted then placed on his back on the bed. Michael had settled between his thighs and he could feel him poking his hole. Michael bent his legs back to have easier access.

“I need to be inside you before I do something stupid,” he said with barely contained restraint.

“Stupid like what,” Alex couldn’t help but ask.

Michael leaned over him, kissing and nuzzling his marked neck. Alex turned his head as though it was instinct now. He couldn’t stop it even if he tried. Michael moaned quietly.

“You’re making it really hard not to claim you.” Alex wrapped his arms around his neck. Some part of his brain thought through his next words but it certainly wasn’t the rational part.

“Then do it.”

Michael jerked back from him, an almost terrified look on his face. But even that couldn’t hide the joy dancing in his eyes. He shook his head.

“Alex. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Alex blinked and sat up, running his hands over Michael’s torso and shoulders.

“Maybe. But it feels right, doesn’t it?” He leaned forward, pressing kisses to his chest. Michael groaned softly then pushed him back down to the bed, bending his knees back

“It’s the venom talking. If you still feel that way after I fuck you, then I’ll consider listening.” Michael pressed himself against his ass again. He grabbed the lube bottle again and coated his dick.

He used the excess on his fingers to slip them back into his hole. One finger, then two, then three, making sure he was still ready. Alex moaned but knew not to get too used to it. Michael pulled his fingers out and guided his cock to replace them.

He pressed forward slowly. Alex’s back arched as he stretched around him, marveling at the fact that just the head could make him feel so good. He heard Michael curse from above him as he tried to go slowly. Alex’s fingers twisted into the sheets.

Michael thrust forward firmly but not rough. Alex groaned and tried to move his hips toward him but Michael held him in place. He pushed again and the head of his cock rubbed against his prostate, making him whimper and moan.

“I’m fine, Michael. Fuck me,” he pleaded. Michael trembled as his hips thrust forward roughly. Alex yelped in surprise. He felt so full and his cock leaked with precum.

“Do you have any idea how good you look right now? Spread open on my cock, leaking, begging me to fuck you.” Alex moaned when he thrust forward as he spoke. Everything faded to the back of his mind except for Michael and the way his body moved against him.

His thrusts picked up speed and he grunted with the force he used. Alex could hardly think about anything other than the way he pounded into him. He tried to watch Michael above him but every thrust was sending shockwaves of need through his body. His eyes fell closed as he got lost in the feeling.

Little moans slipped out every time Michael sank into him again. The headboard of the bed bumped against the wall. Alex felt a hand wrap around his throat, fingers carefully avoiding the bite. He opened his eyes to Michael staring at him a small smirk on his face. He lifted his hand to cover Michael’s, squeezing his fingers around his neck.

“You are so fucking perfect, Alex. How has no one snatched you up yet,” he said, leaning forward as he squeezed the sides of his neck. Not giving him time to respond, Michael kissed him with an open mouth. The dirty sound of them separating made Alex whine. “You are mine now. Do you understand?”

Alex normally hated this kind of entitlement. He always insisted that he didn’t belong to anyone. But something about it coming from Michael’s mouth made him want it more. These were obvious red flags but he couldn’t help himself. He moaned against Michael’s mouth.

“Yours,” he gasped out.

After a few more hard thrusts, Michael pulled out, though Alex didn’t have time to complain. He flipped him over and pulled him up on his hands and knees. He pressed down on his shoulders, forcing him down on his forearms.

He spread his ass and slid into him again, not bothering to go slow. Alex buried his face in the mattress in an effort to muffle his moans. Michael grabbed his hair and pulled him back up.

“Don’t you dare. I want to hear you. I want the whole place to hear you.” Alex shivered and his own cock jumped. Michael fucked him ruthlessly though he was almost sure he was still holding back. The desire that coiled inside him was ready to snap.

“Michael,” he moaned out, only managing his name. Then he was being pulled up so his back was against his chest. Michael wrapped one had around his cock and stroked. The other was in front of his lips, bleeding from a small bite on the heel of his hand. The same place Alex had cut his own.

Alex pressed his lips to the wound, licking at the blood. He should have been disgusted but again he wasn’t. Michael pressed his lips against the spot he had bit earlier, grunting out his words.

“Tell me you want this. That you want me to claim you.” His voice was pleading. The rational part of his brain told him to say no. But every other part of him screamed yes.

“Please. Claim me,” he whimpered out.

Michael’s teeth were sinking into him before he even finished talking. It wasn’t as intense as before but there was a dull pain. Then the warmth was spreading again. So much hotter than before and taking over every part of him. Michael fucked him hard and he could feel every groove and twitch of the cock inside him.

Alex’s third orgasm rocked through him, making him call out Michael’s name repeatedly. He came all over the sheets but his body wouldn’t stop burning. Michael detached himself from his neck and pushed him forward again. He seemed to let himself go, slamming into him at an abusive rate. Alex’s cock tried to come again but there was nothing left as it twitched helplessly. All he could do was moan and take whatever he gave.

With one last deep thrust, Michael cursed and came inside him. He ground his hips against him, using Alex to milk his cock. He rocked his hips gently a few extra times before pulling out. Alex’s legs shook and he felt Michael trialing kisses over his spine.

He let himself down slowly, laying on his side and panting hard. The burn had turned into a dull smolder and was quickly fading. Michael curled around him, leaving kisses wherever he could reach.

“Are you ok,” he asked after a moment. His mind was starting to clear. What had just happened? He lifted is fingers to run over the bite mark on his neck. At first, a panic started to build, but it was overtaken by comfort.

“Yea. I’m just… processing.” They were silent for a couple minutes.

“You regret it,” he said, a sad certainty haunting his voice. Alex felt him start to pull away. He turned toward him immediately grabbing his hand and holding it to his cheek.

“No. I don’t regret it. The whole thing was just—”

“Intense,” Michael finished for him. Alex nodded. He glanced down at his mouth. Before he could think better of it, he kissed him. Their first non-desperate, lust filled kiss. Michael held him gently and Alex ran his fingers through the curls. They broke apart after a moment.

“I suppose now would be a bad time to make you promise not to kill me, hunter,” Michael joked. Alex snorted and ran his hands over his arms, feeling the muscle.

“I promise.” He paused. “What did you do to me exactly?” Michael sighed and propped himself up on his elbow. He ran his fingers over the mark on his neck.

“They don’t teach you that in training? Man, the academy is sure going downhill.” Alex rolled his eyes. He wanted a real answer.

“Michael,” he scolded gently. He sighed again, running his hand through Alex’s hair.

“Basically, my blood will heal you if taken alone. But I also injected you with my venom. Well over the amount needed to cause a blackout, mind you. But with my blood in your system, it forms a bond instead.” Alex nodded, covering Michael’s hand with his own. He smiled and leaned in close, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“No other vampire will dare to touch you unless they want to deal with me. I can keep you safe.” Alex chuckled as the vampire planted kisses all over his face and down his neck, eventually landing on the mark.

“I hardly know you,” Alex pointed out.

“But this feels right. And I can’t wait to get to know all of you,” Michael responded, lifting his head and gazing down at him with the softest expression Alex had ever seen. He pulled him in again, kissing him lovingly.

Alex was essentially married to this man. A man he was supposed to hate but didn’t. He knew nothing about him except that this wasn’t a mistake. That maybe he was finally making the right choices.

Alex ended up falling asleep. He didn’t know how long. Just that when he woke up, he was covered in clean blankets and Michael was right next to him.

#malex fanfiction #malex fic #roswell new mexico fic #malex #michael guerin/alex manes #roswell new mexico

24 notes · View notes

macklives · 4 years

Text

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs92 #hs92 end #i wrote more than i should have but i had a lot to say #just you wait for those analogy/analysis posts

147 notes · View notes

zombieratt · 4 years

Text

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

#dear evan hansen #deh #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoe murphy #musicals #broadway #deh rewrite i guess?#this is more like the outline of a fic i’ll never write #kd.txt #i was posessed to write this #tree bros

24 notes · View notes

cheswirls · 3 years

Text

i had that surgery between posting abt tokrev and now n took a break from reading and so the first half of tenjiku arc is fuzzy BUT i did finish it today so heres an update, ~190 chapters in

ive been vague b4 but this one will DEF have spoilers im talking openly abt so if you havent finished tenjiku arc dont read anymoreeee

i think i started last time abt the emma ch so to start off this one w the emma ch bc. damn. i think besides being absolutely heartbreaking this cemented kisaki as not necessary the enemy, but as someone who has done wrong. kisaki has been the main villain this entire time, but i mentioned this last time, its different being told someone has done something vs seeing it. besides him n hanma beating up chifuyu, everything kisaki has done hasnt had any proof to it. even when he says something akin to ‘damn my plan is foiled’ its less admission when theres nothing to back it.

but emma changes that. now theres a homicide associated w kisaki. now theres a bad thing hes done right in front of the mc, and for all the viewers/readers to see. now hes equivocated w the death of emma.

i think emmas death matters for two reasons, and one more than the other. the first is the impact it has on mikey. its shown a few times now what death will do to him, like w shinichirou and baji, but w emma it hits different. im gonna contrast her and baji on both points, not to take away from baji’s death, but to add to emmas.

if im not mistaken a majority of baji scenes were only shown after his death. i think it worked and the valhalla arc was rly well structured, but what this left in turn was a sort of emptiness associated w baji dying. the readers didnt rly know him at all compared to some of the other toman captains, and it rly hadnt been shown yet wwhat his relationship w mikey was like. we see the effect it has in his rage towards kazu, and none of his grieving. even when at bajis grave, its chifuyu that gets a bigger focus than mikey. but w emma, it actively tears mikey up. he struggles to carry her to the hospital, hes visibly shaken when he tells takemichi shes grown cold, and hes absolutely dead inside when hina is crying at emmas corpse and drakon is yelling at him asking why he let it happen. it hits hard, and it shows, and it makes the impact that much harder, that she died in the past and theres no way tofix it. and the realization takemichi has right before, of ‘o yeah ive never seen grown emma come to think abt it’ then bam.

the second and much bigger point is the emotional impact is has on the reader. baji appears and is instantly a source of conflict. he outs himself from toman, he joins the enemy, he denounces chifuyu when questioned abt investigating kisaki. theres no reason to trust him n no reason to think he’ll turn back, and then only thing there is mikey saying he wants baji back.

emma had that amazing chapter not long before, and shes had a few focal points previously, like on her birthday, and on new years, etc. we’ve seen her as an individual first, then as mikey’s sister, and that makes a difference. seeing her even admitting izana was her brother rly hit different bc its emma, the emma that grew up w shin and mikey but had another life before that. that was the connection i kept making, even as izana explained he had more relation w shinichirou, bc it was mentioned by emma first, bc emma remembered him, after all those years. knowing izana was involved w her death made it hit harder. it hits harder in general bc its emma, someone whos been around since the beginning, and been explored more in depth. i felt sad when baji died, but i was destroyed and heartbroken when emma died.

which, going back, makes kisaki in turn absolutely despicable. deplorable. abhorrent. unforgivable. even more so when he shoots kaku, and then izana, thrice, and then izana dies. i still rly didnt. get? izanas motivations, but i started to feel for him thru mikey, when he realized it was izana shin meant when he asked abt a second older brother. kaku getting shot was unexpected and almost worse than emma in the moment, bc kisaki had a gun and even knives were kinda taboo weapons, guns were completely off the table, and he shot five times andinjured three people w every shot. im glad the tenjiku members that stayed behind told police abt kisaki bc the entire time he was running i was like um??? and even B4 that i was like hey no mikey you dont need to stay, yall jus nee to beat kisaki into submission n have him confess bc the gun is right there, the bullets are there, cmon now.

but then kisaki dies/????? the way its set up made me go crazy, thinkin someone did it purposely, but then the driver was a nobody, and then hes still alive after impact???? big surprise honestly. but then his arm n leg are emessed up, n he says he cant get up, n it took me a sec to realize he prolly lost coordination n not jus bc of one leg, like he prolly couldnt sit up at all, then he up n died rightthere.

b4 thattho, was the confirmation. i completely always thought kisaki wasnt a timeleaper, i thought takemichi made atheory but it was baseless, i didnt rly like it, and then the scene during the vs tenjiku when he says future stuff n kisakis like what?? are yiu talking abt??? BUT THEN then have their standoff in the same parking lot n kisaki says you are a timeleaper and i was like what? he can also??? but then he coudnt! he admitted, was like no in ever could, which means someone else is pulling strings if there is another timeleaper, andmy moneys on hanma, the only other one whos been around the whole time. maybe ill b surprised but i f its not him then theres not another one, imo.

kisaki dying caught me off guard. his whole ten year plan was absolutely nuts, ic ant believe he thought he could go up to hina n straight propose n she would say yes, like honestly would she even remember him at that point? regardless i knew from the cram school chapters that there was some connection there, but i didnt think hina dying was some jealousy-fueled hate revenge plot. wild. but now the “main” villain is dead so what goes from here? we willn see.

i am rly glad kaku made it out. tallying 3 deaths in the kanto incident was so confusing w emma being one of them but the reveal that kaku was alive was rly something. i hope more comes from him!! the setup between him n takemichi was rly rly nice!!!! i wanna see more

i am kinda sad abt coco, bc thesetup of takemichi protecting him from div5 was great, n inui is a permanant fixture in div1 now, so to see coco decide to split was kinda sad. hope he doesnt go down the wrong path. kinda expected to see more knowing how popular him n inui are?? but nontheless

and smiley and angry were so good!! souta and kawata are amazing and souta was not like what i was expecting at all, n now knowing that he cares a lot n is not rly a fighter but iss till in toman jus. rly speaks a lot abt mikeys judge of character n kawatas older brotherschtich that they would let him be vice of div4. seeing what kawata and mitsuya both did during tenjiku arc was rly nice.

and then hina telling drakon andmikey!!! surprised they believed, but it rly will mak things move now. for ex the gun scene where hes abt to shoot kisaki, rly ready to end it, but then hina n mikey rush in. i rly like that knowing that they both know this takemici is from the future, bc they panic but their faith in him isnt lost ,y’know? like they see him desperate, n drakon has a great line abt takemichi’s desperation, theyre not seeing their friend abt toshoot someone n freaking, n they wont judge his sense of character off of that,instead theyre seeing the desperation of someone who wants things to change, and know they can talk him out of it, or if not that then at least ,like, its not going to change what they think abt him. iunno jus. nice little detail i loved while reading that.

#i think thats it?#cant wait ot see whats next!#entering the current arc i think if theres around 210 chapters out now #ill post a final thoughts when im caught up !#ps if theres mistakes its bc my hand is giving out ignore them pls

2 notes · View notes

luthien-t · 4 years

Text

The Sun Will Shine. (Chapter 5)

Summary: Thanos invaded the asgardians ship & Thor called for back up. Being a liable paramedic, you gather your tools and went to space. You end up being injured during battle but Thanos was defeated, what will you do when you find out your lover, Loki suffered more than just a few battle scars? But then again, no one is ever really gone.

Chapter Summary: You followed the signs to where Loki promised to be there waiting for you, after a month and a half of searching, will you finally reunite with your love?

warning: very sad-ish

wordcount: 2.6+K

A/N: Hellooo, yes I know this story is going way too slow even for my liking, but I just dont know where it will go after a certain scene, but if anyone has any ideas or even how they think it will end, please tell me, I could use some inspiration here, Happy reading!!

You grabbed your laptop to check the current weather for the location Loki wrote for you, to prepare yourself for the trip you’re about to go to. You also stumbled upon your email and it was flooded with messages from Tony, sending you emails for any meeting and any party they were having. It made you frown knowing that he is still trying to include you as if you’re still there around them, you bit your lips and read through every single one of them, in some emails he was just checking up on you and asking about your whereabouts and checking if you’re doing okay and a certain email was talking about Bruces birthday today and they’re having a party to celebrate, you sighed as you started typing about how your last month was like, what you were doing and how difficult it was to decipher the journal. You still left out the details about Dr strange and the answers you found, you decided that you will tell him when you head back at the tower with Loki.

You sent the email and got out of bed, checking the time, you knew you had an hour to go see Stephen before the time you both agreed on. You got ready and headed towards the Sanctum, you were more than ready for this search to end.

“Are you ready?” Strange stood in front of you, waiting for your respond so he can open a portal for you.

You sighed softly and nodded, watching him as he moved his hands in a circular motion for a portal to open next to you. You take one last glance at him before smiling and going through.

“Two hours! You have two hours before I come and get you two!” He smiled while pointing a finger at you. You nodded happily at the mention of ‘you two.’

“See you in two hours!” You waved at him before walking forward and away from the portal before he closes it behind you.

The snow was piling around your feet, it wasn’t deep but it was enough for you to hear the crunch with every step you take, you look around you, it was quite, empty and peaceful, the sun just started rising in Ice Land and the horizon was beyond beautiful, you start to understand why Loki chose this place out of all the places you had on your list, he always talked about how landscapes like this remind him of Jutonheim, and he always fit perfectly around the snow, even sometimes if it was cold enough, his blue would start to show and glow softly under the sunlight, defining every curve on his skin.

You found a large rock that resembled a chair and sat on it, counting the time in your head.

55 minutes, 56 minutes, 57…

Almost an hour past and no sign of Loki, you start to wonder if you misunderstood anything from the journal and cursed yourself for not bringing it with you. Maybe he meant 10AM Ice Land time? Or maybe he meant 10PM? You kept waiting and waiting and your negative thoughts kept growing and growing. Is it possible that Loki wrote that journal and forgot? Or just simply, is it possible that his plan actually failed? Maybe he really is gone? Maybe this was all to distract me and stop me from mourning for him because he always told me to move on if something does happen to him. You shook your head and look around, you heard a rustling sound and turned your head towards it with a smile.

“Took you long enough” Your smile fell flat when you noticed that it was Stephen looking at you through the portal he just opened from his side of the world.

“It’s been 2 hours, y/n.” He said with a frown on his face, he must have noticed that you are still sitting alone with no one around you. You shake your head as tears start to threaten to fall. “No, Steph, we have to wait a bit longer, maybe he meant a different time” You look away from him and wipe your face from the cold tears falling down your cheeks.

“It’s okay, y/n.” He sighs quietly and walked through the portal to you, a blanket in his hands. “It’s time to let go.” He wrapped the blanket around you and helped you get up on your feet, you wanted to protest, to stand your ground and to not leave until Loki decides to stop playing this stupid game. You were starting to get angry. “This is stupid. Why did you agree on doing this with me?” You look up at Stephen and he shrugs. “Because I believed you, but Loki proved us both wrong” He said as he helped you step through the portal before closing it behind him.

Unbeknownst to you, Loki was there and was waiting for you there, he was beyond happy seeing you again, you still look the same, you still took his breath away, after two months of not seeing you he was ready to run towards you but seeing Dr Strange helping you with his teleporting stopped him from moving from his spot behind the rock. He never wanted to drag any of the Avengers with you, no one was supposed to know about this but you, if anyone knew he was still alive, words will reach Thanos minions and it will backfire at you, they will use you as bait to drag him back to where he was before New York happened. He had to find a way to leave, he never meant for it to be like this, he only wanted to reassure you that he is fine and maybe ask you to leave this planet with him, he misses you and wants you back in his life, but he can’t risk anything when people still want him dead. He decided to teleport back to his hiding place and hope that one day you two will be reunited again.

You feel stupid, you feel like the world was pressing around you and it was getting harder to breath, the reality of Loki being gone was finally starting to hit you and you finally understand that this was always a game to Loki, he never wanted you to mourn, he never wanted you to feel bad about him being gone, he only did this to entertain you. But at what cost? You were ignoring the people who were looking out for you while hiding in some apartment, and you dragged Stephen with you on a ridiculous treasure hunt.

“I feel like a child.” You say as you sit down on the chair and look up at Stephen.

“You’re not. He was the God Of Mischief. Of course he would refuse dying without one last game.” He sat on the chair opposite of you and handed you a cup of tea.

He was the God Of Mischief.

It was all coming down on you, the realisation that he really is gone. All of your hard work is just thrown out of the window. You’ve learnt Juton for nothing and you’ve learnt Asgardian for no reason, and you were going back to the Tower empty handed, defeated.

You drank your tea in silence as you stared out the window, it was beginning to rain, in the middle of June, how ironic.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Stephen interrupted your thoughts, you turn your head towards him and shrug with a weak smile on your face.

“I can’t really avoid the inevitable, there is nothing left to do but move on.” You sigh and suddenly get up. “I’m gonna head back home to move back to the tower.” You look down at him and he nods. “Thank you, Stephen, for everything. You helped me with more than you can imagine, I learn a new thing every time I come into this Sanctum” and with that he smiled up at you and nodded again. “I’m glad for doing so, now if you are going to the Tower, I guess I will be seeing you tomorrow for Bruces party?” You chuckle softy and nod before walking towards the door.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow” You bow your head and leave to go back to your apartment.

You unlocked the door and headed to your room, the window was open and there was a crow standing on the edge of the frame, you raise an eyebrow and move your way towards the crow slowly. “Hey there little guy” You said in a singsongy voice, you grab the closest thing to you to shush the crow back out of the window.

“I am not in the mood.” You say to the crow and wave a book towards it to leave the room but it wont budge, did not even flinch. You sigh and sit on the bed. “Whatever, I am leaving this place so the landlord will have a talk with you.” You say as you shove everything back in your bag, you never unpacked your stuff because you were too busy with the journal you had, so distracted by the game that you forgot about your actual life for a minute.

You grabbed everything that was yours and left the room, the crow was still standing this with his held tilted at you, watching you as you were watching him. You were confused as to how a crow can be so calm around humans but shrugged it off and left. You have bigger things to focus on than some random crow. You have to head back to the tower and go back to your normal life. You can’t keep getting distracted by every little thing anymore. It is time to move past this.

Your walk back to The Tower was quite, the rain stopped long before you left the apartment and your shoes were wet from the water on the pavement, you feel defeated and the weight of Loki being gone kept hitting you harder and harder with every step. You reached the tower and went straight to the elevator. You sighed happily when no one entered the elevator with you and pressed on the button to the living area you shared with the team.

The elevator door opened and you were greeted by Tonys back while he was busy ordering people on where to put the cake and rearranging the furniture. You walked towards him and cleared your throat. “Oh thank goodness Pepper you’re back, can you he-“ His sentence was cut short when he turned around and saw you.

“Y/n!” He smiled wide and walked towards you. You smiled lightly.

“We’ve missed you” He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace and kissed the top of your head. “How have you been?” He mumbled against your head. His question wasn’t supposed to hurt you like this but it did, you tighten your hug and buried your head in his shoulder, you can’t say he was shocked by the sudden tightness but he held you closer and sighed, as if he understood the words you couldn’t say. You wanted to pull away and apologise but you simply couldn’t let go. You needed this.

“You were right.” You mumbled against his shoulder and nodded. “I know, kid. Don’t beat yourself, you needed this to get your closure.” He said as he rubbed your back. You did not notice your tears but the dampness of his shirt under your breath gave it away to you, causing you to pull away and sniff. “Oh god I’m sorry” you say as you pat the wet patch on his shoulder and let out a small chuckle, he just watched you with a smile. “I’m just glad you’re back, y/n.” He said before pulling away from you. “Everyone is currently busy and getting the place ready to party! You don’t have to join if you don’t feel like it” He reassures you and you shake your head. “I’ll be fine, besides, I’ve missed you guys and a party never hurt no one” You say and pull your bag up, waving at him to get back to what he was doing and head back to your previous quarter.

You can’t say you’re exactly happy to get back to this place, it was still filled with memories of Loki, but you knew that in order to move on you have to face it. Opening the door, you walk into the room and Lokis smell immediately invaded your lungs, everything is exactly where it was since you left a month and a half ago. You sigh deeply and head to the curtains, sliding them for the sun to enter the room, everything had a layer of dust on it and you have a lot of cleaning to do, you look around not sure what to do with Lokis stuff, you know that you are going to keep some of it but you also cant hold on to everything if you want to move on.

tap, tap, tap.

You hear a tapping noise on the window and turn your head towards it, there he is again, that crow from the apartment, you raise your eyebrows and walk to the window, approaching the crow slowly. “How-“ you were interrupted by someone opening the door and calling your name, looking back at the door you see Thor and smile widely before glancing quickly back at the window and the crow was gone, you sigh quickly and put your thoughts aside to go greet him.

“Thor!” you yelped as he gave you one of his famous tight hugs.

“It’s so good to see you, Lady y/n!” He pulled away to look down at you and you smile at him, your smile slowly fading as you notice his beard grew longer than he likes and his eyes were framed with dark circles, you frown and cup his face. “What have you been doing to yourself, Thor?” you say in a soft whisper and he smiles slightly to you.

“I’m doing fine, you shouldn’t worry, I came from New Asgard as soon as Tony informed me that you’re back in the tower” He pulled away and sat on your bed, avoiding your eyes.

“That quickly?” You chuckle.

“Well, thanks to Tony and Bruce, we discovered a new way to create a portal similar to the one we had in asgard before, you know…”

You sighed and sat next to him, you start feeling selfish for leaving him to mourn and suffer his brothers loss on his own, you were so busy and distracted by that stupid journal that you forgot that not only did you lose your love, but Thor also lost his brother. You rest a hand on his knee. “I’m sorry for everything, I should’ve checked up on yo-“

“Nonsense! I know you’ve been looking for him, I know how my brother can be sometimes.” He chuckle and looks down at you.

“But I didn’t..” You look up at him with tears in your eyes. “I didn’t find him, Thor. You were right, everyone was right, and I’m sorry.”

“Lady y/n, It’s all right, what matters is that we’re all here now. We have to celebrate Hulks birthday!!” He tries to change the subject and got off the bed. “We will be seeing you in the party, correct?” He bows his head so he is at eye level with you and smiles, you nod at him and get up. “Yes, I’ll be there, I promise” You smile and watch him leave the room.

Your eyes couldn’t help but drift back to the window, and as if on time, the crow flew back again, standing on the balconies grill behind the window and it hits you.

“Loki..?”

#loki fic #loki fanfic #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki #marvel fanfiction

28 notes · View notes

misterbitches · 3 years

Text

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

2 notes · View notes

horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: that was not easy. i feel like its my worst chapter so far but i stlll hope you guys enjoy it. yes its their first time and yea its a bit awks but i guess thats how it was meant to be. i promise more smut asap. actually there will be a smut scene in the next chapter and i wont make it all loving and awkward like the one in this chapter lol! thank you so much of you read, like, reblog, comment or message me! ily! here’s the ‘request’ i sort of added in this chapter!

Chapter 36 : His chapter

NIALL

I could barely remember getting back home and falling asleep in my bed. The only thing I could clearly remember was the warmth of her body when she cuddled me and the short and low whimpers she let out before falling asleep. It's not that the ride was long or that we hadn't slept in the past few days but for some reason, we were both exhausted. When I opened my eyes, it was already dark outside and I grimaced. It was hard to tell what time it was and I just closed my eyes again and pulled Liv closer with one of my arms. She whimpered again but kept her eyes closed.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, gripping the front of my shirt over my stomach and making me smile a bit.

"Any time between four pm and seven in the morning." I let out, making her lips curl.

She sighed and I knew she was forcing herself to wake up and I watched her as her eyes fluttered open but remained half-closed anyway. They met mine and we both smiled at each other as I let my hand rub gently her back. She shivered but moved up slightly so her head was closer to mine and it made me smile more.

"There's something waiting for you in the living room." I just whispered, making her frown. "Under the tree or somewhere near it, I believe."

This time, her curiosity seemed stronger than her tiredness and her eyes opened completely. They roamed on my face before she frowned and a smirk appeared on her lips, making me chuckle. She moved up, holding herself with her hands on the mattress as she looked down in my eyes. I saw her gaze move to my lips before she kissed me gently and suddenly, she jumped over me, almost tripping on her own feet, getting up next to the bed. I was still laying down and I let my eyes run on her back and down to her ass. She was only wearing a shirt I was pretty sure belonged to me and a pair of black panties and I couldn't help but be slightly excited by the sight.

We had been so close to make love at my mom's and it was a shame we hadn't. With the discussion we had had right before, it would have been the perfect time to show her how much i love and want her. At the same time, though, I knew why we decided against it and it was better this way. Without thinking, I brought my hand to her butt and slipped a finger in her panties, on one of her cheeks. It made her jump and she turned around, making my finger slip out and making me laugh.

"Niall!"

"What?" I asked still laughing, shrugging and sending her a smirk. "You place your beautiful ass right in front of my face, what did you expect?"

She grimaced, scrunching her nose and eyes at the same time and it was so endearing that it made me stop laughing. She shook her head slightly and licked her lips.

"Come on, get up, I want to find out what's waiting for me in the living room!" she urged me, her eyebrows now raised up. "You got me curious."

"Only if you don't put pants on."

Her traits softened and she smiled fondly at me, a spark of amusement gracing her face.

"Deal."

She ran to the living room and I got out of bed slowly to follow her. I leaned against the wall and smiled when I realized she had lighted up the tree only and was on her knees, trying to find her gift on the floor.

"Love." I said to catch her attention, raising my eyebrows in an amused way. She turned to me and I crossed my arms on my chest. "Look slightly up."

She moved up, still on her knees, and her eyes got bigger when she noticed something hanging on one of the branches. She bit her bottom lip, staring at it for a while, and it made something stir in my stomach. I walked up to her and sat on the floor, leaning back slightly and holding myself with my hands behind me.

"It's just a little something." I pointed out as she grabbed the box, her eyes moving up to meet mine. "Nothing big but... I don't know." I shrugged. "I saw it and thought of you."

She licked her lips without saying anything and finally opened it. She stared at the necklace for so long as I tried to decipher her expression without much success.

"I know, it's a bit cliché but, I know you love hearts and I thought, I mean, I don't know, if you don't like it we can always go back to the store and you can pick something else."

Without looking at me, she took it out of the box and put it around her neck. I could see the diamonds on the golden heart shine with the white lights of the tree and I ended up wondering if it would have been prettier with multicolored lights, like she had proposed a few days ago.

"It's perfect." she whispered, running the tip of her forefinger on the heart. "Thank you Niall."

Her voice was low but I could swear it had cracked a bit and when i looked up in her eyes, I could see she was tearing up. The sight was incredible with the illuminated tree behind her and I felt my heart swell with love.

"Come here." I said even lower with a quick head movement.

Her lips curled a bit more and she got closer, bringing her lips on mine. I closed my eyes and deepened it before she nibbled gently on my bottom lip. I let out a short groan and smiled a bit, keeping my eyes closed.

"Merry Christmas, Niall." she whispered this time, smiling against my mouth.

"Christmas was a few days ago darling." I argued with a chuckle, feeling her warm breath hit my skin.

"Maybe I have a late gift for you, too."

My heart jumped at her words and I immediately felt bad for the thoughts in my head but when I felt her move closer, my heartbeats accelerated. I spread my legs on the floor and she straddled me, her lips still attached to mine, but I couldn't move. I felt her ass on my thighs and I kissed her deeper as I felt my fingers scratch down, trying to grip the carpet.

"Do you love me?" her voice came to my ears in a murmur and I finally opened my eyes to look at her.

"Yes, I love you, Olivia."

"Real love?"

The thought of that day when she admitted her feelings to me and asked me the same thing came to my mind and I kept staring in her eyes. This time, I was not going to disappoint her, I was not going to hurt her.

"Real love."

She smiled and grabbed the bottom of my shirt, moving it gently but with difficulty over my head. I laughed when she pulled on it a bit harder as it got stuck in my ear and she raised her nose up in a grimace.

"Such a clumsy ass." I joked, staring at her before she let out a low groan.

She finally let my shirt fall in the floor next to us and I kept my body slightly leaned back if only to have a good view of her. I was just thinking about slipping my hands under her shirt when she slowly took it off, shaking her head a bit to move her hair out and my eyes fell on the necklace around her neck, laying on her skin, near her breasts.

"Fuck, that's such a sight."

She giggled a bit and I finally moved my gaze up to look up at her. She was sitting on me, we were both almost naked, and I couldn't take my eyes off of hers.

"Can I touch you?"

Her lips curled into a fond smile and she slowly nodded. It took me a few seconds to sit up and I ran the fingertips of one of my hands between her breasts, sliding gently on the heart of her necklace. I tried to keep that image forever in my head and held my breath when my fingers moved to one of her nipples. Her lips parted but she kept staring at me and I let my fingers run down on her stomach to her panties. Two of my fingers slid on her core, over her panties and she let out a short and low whimper.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Her answer was quick and she seemed so sure of herself that I pressed my fingers more between her legs. She ground down on them and the sight of her pushing her hips towards me made me even more excited than I already was. I couldn't wait and just slipped my hand in her panties, my fingers rubbing gently against her pussy and coating them immediately.

"Fuck you're so wet already." I whispered, looking back at her face.

Her eyes were closed and her lips still parted, and it made me want to kiss her more than I ever wanted to. I kept moving my hand slowly over her and brought my mouth to her neck, kissing and nibbling gently on her skin. It made her whimper again and I could feel myself get harder at the sound. I wanted to feel myself inside her so bad I couldn't think straight and I tried to focus only on her instead. I slipped two of my fingers inside her and I heard her let out a curse word in a whisper. It made me groan when her hips moved again and I bit her neck harder as soon as she started riding my fingers gently.

"I want you so fucking bad." I breathed out as I brought my thumb to her clit. "You make me so hard, petal."

She stopped moving over my fingers and just got off me, struggling and squirming to take her panties off as I watched her. She was endearing and she cursed again, making me chuckle. She moved closer to me and pulled on my boxers, making me smile even more. I moved my ass up to help her but I couldn't take my eyes off of her naked body until she was back on me, straddling me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make this awkward." she just said, grimacing slightly and making me chuckle again.

"Don't apologize, this is perfect."

She cupped my face and I felt my eyes flutter when she moved closer to press her mouth against mine. She pushed her body against mine and I could feel my cock rub against her lower stomach. I felt so horny and excited for what was going to happen that I groaned in her mouth, I slipped my hand on her arms and down to her waist, grabbing it tight. She probably took it as a request because she got up on her knees and moved even closer. I stiffened when I felt the tip of my cock press against her pussy and slowly, she sat on me, making my grip tighten on her waist.

"Fuck, please, don't move." I almost begged her, shutting my eyes tighter.

I had never thought I could be close to an orgasm so quick but I knew that if she moved even just slightly, I would probably cum right before we even started. I knew that the wait, the teasing and the thought of making love with her had made this moment even better but I wanted it to last. I could feel her throb around me and it felt so good that a shiver crossed my back, making me quiver very slightly.

I opened my eyes only to see her hands run on her breasts slowly before one of them reached between her legs. She remained motionless except for her fingertips brushing gently against her clit and without thinking, I pushed my hips up and made her whimper louder. She started moving over me as my hands reached for her thighs, traveling on her soft skin as I felt myself slip in and out of her.

"Darlin' you feel so good." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at her.

She kissed me again, her hips grinding down on me and moaning in my mouth and I couldn't help it. I brought my hands to her waist again and pushed my body her way. She gripped my shoulders as I was laying her on the carpet and laughed a bit as I hovered over her.

"You like to be in control, Horan?" she asked with amusement, a large smile gracing her lips.

My eyes roamed on her face and my smile grew.

"Oh you have no idea, pet."

She bit her bottom lip and I dipped my head down to kiss her again as I pushed myself as deep as I could inside her. She moved her knees up and started grinding against me in rhythm with my thrusts, bringing me closer and closer to an orgasm.

I moved up a bit to enjoy how fucked she looked. Her hands were placed palms up on each side of her head as her hair was sprawled around her head. She looked beautiful and I wanted nothing more than to make her cum. I let the fingers of one of my hands brush against her arm before it reached her hand and immediately, she gripped my fingers tight. I allowed myself to lay completely on her and did the same with her other hand.

"Oh my god, you're gonna make me cum."

The thought made my whole body throb as I desperately pushed myself inside her, still gripping her hands tight and when I felt an orgasm hit me, I buried my face in her neck and groaned louder than I thought I would. I kept moving in and out of her even after I came down from my high and without thinking, I bit the skin of her neck, making her squirm beneath me.

"Fuck, Niall!"

She started shaking and I just stared at her, admiring her as she came hard, her thighs pressed against my sides, trapping me close to her and her back arching. After a few seconds, she sighed but let out a few whimpers and her eyes opened, meeting mine. We looked at each other for a while and she moved her head slightly, her hair now messy but still spread around her face. She was glowing with happiness and I knew I most likely was too.

"I'm... i'm sorry it didn't last longer."

She started laughing and brought one of her hands in my hair, pushing on my head to bring me close. She kissed me but laughed again against my mouth before I finally pushed myself away from her to lie down next to her on the floor. Once again, I felt her hand reach for mine and she squeezed it tight.

"I thought we'd do that in a bed." she finally admitted after about a minute of silence. "I thought i'd be too nervous to get an orgasm."

"I thought I'd cum too quick and I did." I confessed with a chuckle, feeling her turn her head to look at me.

"But you kept going until I came too." she pointed out, making me turn my head too to look at her. "I appreciate that."

I let my eyes roam on her face, noticing her shining eyes and her red cheeks, and brought one of my hands on one, brushing my thumb against it softly.

"I love you." I expressed, making my own heart skip a beat.

She was beautiful and I seemed to be stuck in that post-orgasm state where everything is perfect until I realized that it had not much to do with the orgasm and more to do with the whole situation. I was exactly where I was supposed to be with the right person and no other feeling could ever top that.

"I love you too." she whispered, licking her lips. "I love you more than anything."

----

When the door opened a very happy (and maybe slightly tipsy) Louis appeared, his arms wide open before he took me into a tight hug.

"NEIL YOU'RE HERE!"

I laughed but hugged him back before he turned to my girlfriend and sent her a smirk, tilting his head. He moved his head frenetically and Olivia chuckled, taking a step closer as he engulfed her in a hug too and kissed her cheek.

"I'm very happy you're here, both of you!"

He let us in and I could feel Liv a bit tensed next to me. I grabbed her hand in mine and squeezed her fingers in an attempt to show her I was there with her and she held my hand tight back.

"Hey everyone! The lovers have finally arrived and they're holding hands!"

A bunch of people turned to us and I rolled my eyes as I heard a few 'Hey!'s and 'Hello's being shouted. I smiled and waved with my free hand before shaking my head a bit and looking at my friend.

"You're a pain in my ass, Tommo, you know that don't you?"

"Totally doing it on purpose Niall." he smirked and turned his head to look at Olivia and wink at her. "Love what you did with your hair."

He didn't give her time to answer and she just stuck her tongue at him, making him laugh as he walked away, turning to us and going backwards.

"Wine? Beer?" he asked, his eyebrows raised and pointing at us with both hands.

"Wine!" we replied at the same time, making us both laugh.

I turned to her and she was extending her pinky to me, making me roll my eyes. I intertwined mine around it and stared in her eyes with a smile as I tried to think of a wish to make. We always did that when we talked at the same time and we always preferred that to the common jinx thing people did.

"Key." she whispered with a smile.

I bit my bottom lip and without thinking, I wished to keep this beautiful girl in my life until forever.

"Lock." I finally replied to keep our wishes a secret, sending her a fond smile as she took her hand away from mine.

Louis came back with two glasses of wine and we thanked him, both of us taking a quick sip to ease our nerves. I pulled her with me to the living room and we found a place on the couch to sit together. The room was full and I started thinking coming here for New Year's Eve was a bad idea.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I inhaled deeply and nodded.

"No yea, i'll be okay."

"If at some point you need fresh air or just to go upstairs for a while i'm sure Louis will understand."

I was about to answer when Julie and Liam walked to us. We got up to hug them and finally sat back down as they sat in front of us.

"I just knew you guys would make the cutest couple." Julie laughed as Liam put his arm around her shoulders. "It was just a matter of time."

I glanced at Liv who seemed to blush and I smirked with a shrug.

"Yea I guess i'm a bit slow." I admitted, half-joking. "But we're good now."

I ran my hand on my girlfriend's leg, my fingertips brushing gently on the inside of her thighs. It made her shiver and I smiled more, enjoying the effect I had on her. We chatted for a little bit about everything we planned to do during the next year and at some point I just shrugged again, leaning against the couch and bringing one of my legs on the other, my ankle leaning on my thigh and my knee pressed on my girlfriend's thigh.

"The trip I have planned, of course, but after that then I don't know." I explained. "I'll write no doubt but I don't see myself releasing any music soon, at least not until the end of the year. I'll be busy."

I turned to Olivia and she sent me a small smile before biting her bottom lip and I barely heard Liam laugh as Julie let out a too loud "awww!" I kept staring at my girlfriend, realizing how bad I wanted to spend time with her and focus on her for a while, and felt a twist in my chest at the thought of not seeing her for a few weeks. I was never the clingy type of guy, I was mostly independent and laid-back, but that didn't mean I was not going to miss my best friend and my lover pretty much the whole time I would be away. The truth was, it was the first time I felt like that for someone, and it made me realize that everything I didn't care about in my past relationships seemed to matter a bit more in this one. Like spending 6 weeks away from her.

I don't know what came over me but I moved closer and cupped her face, bringing her head up before pressing my mouth against hers. I let my lips hungrily move against hers as I kissed her slowly but deeply. I forgot about everyone in the house, forgot about where we were, forgot about anything that was not Olivia and I. I just wanted to taste her and show her how much I loved her and how much I would miss her without using any word.

"Fooking hell, Neil, get a room!"

I kept my eyes closed and groaned low against my girlfriend's mouth, slowly coming back to reality and when I finally turned to the voice, I realized all my friends were staring at us. Louis was smirking again and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"Yours, Louis?"

He turned to Liv and raised his nose up with amusement.

"I wouldn't recommend it, love." he let out. "So many unholy things happened there, it could ruin your virtue."

This time, she laughed and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh you clearly know nothing about me, Tommo, nothing at all."

I turned my head to look at her again and let my eyes roam on her profile as she smirked at him. I wanted to know what she meant, I wanted to know what she liked and what kind of things she wanted me to do to her. Just the thought made me feel a bit dizzy and I cleared my throat, trying to get out of my sexual daydream.

"Yea? When Neil is gone, we can hang out then." he proposed, making my heart sink in my chest. "Imma find out everything about you there is to learn."

"Works for me." she chuckled, raising one of her shoulders.

"Alright! Now let's go to the kitchen, dinner's ready!"

Louis clapped in his hands and everyone got up to follow him. I stopped Liv who was about to leave by grabbing her wrist gently. She turned to me and sent me a smile, making my lips curl immediately.

"I'm gonna find out about how unholy you are before he does, right?"

This time, she laughed and shook her head, bringing her hands to my cheeks and running one of her thumbs on my lips. I loved the way she was looking at me and when she got on her tiptoes, I could have sworn she was going to kiss me but she remained very close to me and her amused smile turned into a mischievous one.

"Of course." she whispered. "I'll tell you, and then i'll show you."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfics #amc #i just re-read a few things and its embarrassing meh oh well

79 notes · View notes

antikang · 5 years

Text

⋆ 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 — min yoongi. he/him. cismale. | was that matthew ‘matty’ kang i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-six year old spends most of their time being the area’s drug dealer , but i’ve always just seen them hanging out at the old boxing ring downtown. they live in apt 6A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of exactly faded graffiti on concrete walls, an intimidating dragon tattoo taking up half his back, and cars set ablaze in empty parking lots.

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: matthew kang

nicknames: matty, matt -- but that one’s used rarely

age: twenty-six

d.o.b: i’ll let u guys know when i figure out his birthchart lol

zodiac: ^^

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: drug dealer, his cover is a ‘legal dispensary’

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

matty doesn’t have any form of social media besides snapchat. which he barely uses, he doesn’t care much for apps besides the ones he can stream shows on.

he has a separate phone for any business transactions since it’s disposable. only a few people have his number, any new clients have to come from word of mouth.

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

oversized jackets down behind his knees, an abundance of necklaces, faded graffiti littering concrete walls, red knuckles, calculating quick math problems in his head, morning light peaking through half lidded curtains, street racing in the middle of the night, small laughs under his breath, a longing to be unknown, overly sweet coffee, a beat up walkman, cassette tapes from his childhood

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 :

DRUG TW !! matty is a drug dealer but his profession is under the guise of a ‘legal dispensary’ so his front is weed, and having the permit to sell weed legally in a small shop in the city. it’s what he puts down for his taxes, and his job on important documents. however, behind the scenes it’s something else completely: the harder stuff. within the dispensary there’s another room for the harder stuff. a hidden little place within the building where they REALLY make their profit. they sell anything from molly to coke to pills. matty tends to stay away from dealing the SUPER hard stuff, and avoids it as much as he can.

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 :

matty is actually a pretty cool guy ? despite his upbringing and what he does/did, he tends to get a long well with people -- he has to considering his job is on the more social side. he isn’t the most outgoing though, and he actually tends to stay in his lane. matty doesnt like being problematic and likes to keep most of his business private. he doesn’t dwell or partake in other’s business either unless he was forced into a situation. he’s a grown man with better things to do than meddle in drama. on the other side he can be a little intimidating, but that’s the surface after all his appearance is his armor so people know not to mess with him.

positive traits: organized, dependable, focused, loyal, kind, quick

negative traits: stubborn, fussy, cynical at times, blunt

𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 :

matty was born and raised in l.a but was kicked out of his home at seventeen when his parents -- especially his dad -- found out he was gay ( bi really ). he didn’t manage to graduate highschool because of this despite doing everything he could to. it wasn’t possible for him to attend school while couch surfing through his friend’s houses and sometimes a local youth shelter. it was through one of boys he met there that he found his way into the world of gangs and drugs and just trying to survive each day.

he became a runner for an l.a gang/mob called ssangyopa -- they’re actually all along the west coast and international but only in asia -- and dropped out of high school to be able to make money to find a way to live on his own. he got initiated into the gang quick for a variety of reasons, he was sly and easy to miss when he delivered packages, just another l.a teenager skateboarding through the city dropping off people’s goods, he was fast on his feet and managed to get out of many sticky situations one that included knocking over a cop to get away when he had drugs on him -- that was what rlly made the people he worked for in that location welcome him with open arms. and nearing his eighteenth birthday they took him to get a tattoo that each member has ( not the exact same tattoo since each member has a different one of their mascot ) which is a dragon. matty’s is this one here.

TW: GUNS

things were going well for him until one fateful night when he was twenty-two ( five years now with the gang ) that he got into a mess that should have never happened ( and i’ll probably make a separate post diving into this situation but right now it’ll be brief ), point is that he got into a situation where he had to pull out his gun and shoot the other guy before he got shot but it was self defense on his part because he rlly did try to control the situation that got out of hand. he didn’t get away on time, and got caught up by the cops, he thankfully wasn’t carrying any drugs on him, and was sentenced to prison for 3 years for assault with a deadly weapon. it was supposed to be 9 years but the judge pitied him and made it 3.

in prison he worked on getting his ged and highschool diploma as well as working out -- which he thought was a cliche but he partook in it anyway. he got into a few disagreements in there but !! he’s out now. he got out at 25 and the gang welcomed him back, however, matty wanted out but thats impossible, at least for him especially with a record now. so he got offered to at least move out of the city and run/deal for them in a new system that was created after weed got legalized which is here in seattle. it’s lowkey and perfect for him.

BUT YEAH OOF, anyways matty again is a chill guy, reserved a bit, but hes good conversation. no one knows he’s an ex-con ( unless hehe we plot !! ) but since he trained a lot in prison ( and i forgot to say that when he started in the gang he took boxing lessons to get some muscle on his noodle arms and protect himself ) he volunteers at a boys and girls club to help train kids to keep them off the streets and away from the shit he got caught up in.

his slang is funny too, he doesn’t call you bro or dude or anything like that. it’s either G or Daddy O, tbh it depends on who he’s talking too. when he talks it’s kinda fast or slow, depending on the mood he’s in.

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 :

people who know he deals other stuff, he deals to ( 0/2): like i said, matty is very lowkey now and i think it’d be a little pointless if the ENTIRE apt complex knew he was a dealer that wasn’t the dispensary. so these 2 clients have his phone number for his dealing phone and he delivers to them sometimes.

a highschool sweetheart: LISTEN......there was a plot roaming around about an ex-con that when they get out a prison their highschool sweetheart was waiting for them to pick them up and .....i think it’d be cute....it doesnt have to be highschool sweetheart...maybe someone he met at the youth shelter? point is it have to be really plotted out and ofc IF your muse lived in l.a....actually, they’d have to be around his age too....man.....nvm i should erase this but i wont imma leave it right here

a friend with benefits ( 0/1): like i said....homeboy doesnt want to get TOO involved with a lot of people so there’s probs just one person he met, they hit it off, they mess around here and there but it’s nothing serious, sometimes a guy just needs a break and so they hit them up

a smoking/drinking buddy: (0/2): they hit up bars, have a drink or four or they hang out on the balcony and smoke the afternoons away, just really chill vibes

BUT UM THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN....please...if u have more wcs...lmk and hmu !!

#finally..this bitch is OUT #hide.intro

10 notes · View notes

bellamyblakesus · 8 years

Note

What is your #1 favourite Blake siblings moment and why?

I have so many feelings about the Blakes and I really can’t choose my ultimate favorite moment so I’m just going to write about all my favorites (in no particular order). This may be very lengthy so bear with me.

1. Bellamy finding out about Octavia’s “death” (4x04)

I’m sure some of yall will think I’m crazy for this but I’m such a slut for angst. In addition to angst, this scene also provides an amazing storytelling opportunity for us to see Bellamy try to navigate a world without his little sister. It’s tragic and it will truly be Bellamy’s ultimate rock bottom, but seeing how Bellamy reacts to “losing” the person he’s raised for the past 16 years is something I’m so interested in seeing.

2. Young Bellamy and Octavia (1x06)

I can’t tell yall how many times I’ve watched the Blake flashbacks in 1x06. They provide such great insight into how the Blakes grew up and they also sparked almost all of my headcanons in terms of their life on the ark. The scene in the gif above starts off with teenage Bellamy giving young Octavia a piggyback ride and quickly progresses into a much more serious scene that showcases some of the things Bellamy and Aurora had to do to keep Octavia a secret. I really hope that we get some more Blake flashbacks at some point down the line because they’re so interesting to me.

3. This adorable moment (1x02)

God all I can say about this scene is that it’s fucking adorable. It really shows just how much they both love each other (which is a lot harder for me to say post 309 but anyways…). It’s the little moments.

4.“I won’t let anything happen to you” 2.0 (1x10)

This whole scene is so important to me. Not only do you have Bellamy finally opening up and admitting he’s scared, but you also have Octavia repeating Bellamy’s “I wont let anything bad happen to you” mantra back to him while he’s sick. I love this because it means that Bellamy has told her the story of him naming her and what he said when she was born and that’s just the cutest shit ever. More of scenes like this please and thank you.

5. The badass-siblings-duo-on-a-mission we deserved more of (2x06)

Almost no one ever talks about this episode in terms of their relationship which I really hate. I love badass sibling duos and this episode really is the epitome of that for the Blakes. It’s the two of them on a mission together and we really truly deserved more of that. It also shows a great deal of development in regard to Bellamy’s over-protection of Octavia. Obviously he’s always gonna be protective of her to a certain extent (try having “my sister, my responsibility” drilled into your brain for 16 years and just letting that go. It’s pretty much impossible) but in this episode you really see Bellamy beginning to understand how capable his sister is and I love that.

6. Bellamy bringing Octavia the blanket (1x08)

This is such a small and simple moment but I love it so much. With everything going on in both their worlds, this scene really shows that Bellamy will always go out of his way to care for Octavia. Not to mention, the music behind this scene is amazing.

7. DEVELOPMENT!!! (2x04)

God the development from 1x01 to 2x04 is crazy. Imagine pilot!Bellamy saying the things he says to Octavia in 2x04. You literally can’t. Anyways, I love this cute sibling banter and I miss this version of Octavia.

8. Bellamy-self sacrificing-Blake (3x12)

I think the text post that floated around awhile ago really sums this scene up. Just minutes before, Bellamy was telling Clarke that sacrificing herself was a stupid plan, but the second Emerson started to hurt Octavia, Bellamy put his weapon down and gave himself up. My feelings on this scene are a little mixed, but I felt like I should include it for some reason.

9. “You’ll always fit in with me” (3x03)

My love for this scene knows no bounds. It’s just so layered. At first glance it’s a very cute sibling scene in comparison to the majority of their scenes in this season, but if you look closer you’ll see how sad it really is. Bellamy has gone from “my sister doesn’t leave this camp” to “if you need to leave I get that.” which is amazing. He is willing to let Octavia go and although he understands why she needs to leave, it breaks him inside. Bellamy Blake has the biggest fucking heart in the universe and this scene only further proves that. He’s willing to push down the pain of Octavia leaving because he thinks it’s what will make her happy and that’s all he’s ever wanted for her. I think this scene also shows some of the father/daughter aspects of their relationship. Bellamy letting Octavia go is the big one, however, there are more subtle ways in which this scene lets us know that the Blake relationship is often reminiscent of a parent/child relationship. You have Octavia saying “then I can finally get out of here” without realizing how much her saying that hurts Bellamy. Octavia can’t and never will understand some of the ways in which Bellamy cares for her, very similar to how children never truly understand the things their parents do for them. The layers of this scene and also the fact that their relationship goes so downhill soon after this make this scene tragic, but also one of my favorites.

10. Six-year-old Bellamy’s promise to baby Octavia (1x06)

Thinking about this scene after 4x04 is so heart wrenching. Bellamy’s “I wont let anything bad happen to you, Octavia. I promise” is such a constant thread for him and I love the fact that he has told Octavia the story of her birth and his promise to her (see 1x10). I’m also 100% certain that these words are playing on a loop in Bellamy’s mind and all he can think about is how colossally he failed. Fuck.

11. Arguably the happiest moment in the show (2x04)

Okay idk if this is actually the happiest moment in the show but it’s definitely up there. They both thought they would never see each other again after the s1 finale but they unknowingly found their way back to each other and it’s fucking beautiful. This scene is one of those moments of pure happiness that’s so rare on The 100.

12. Shit really hits the fan (1x06)

No one understands how badly I want to see exactly what happened right after this. Did Bellamy say something to try and fix things? Did Octavia try to escape again? Did they shock lash her and did Bellamy freak out? How did they find out she was Bellamy’s sister and not just an unaccounted member of the ark? Was this their last moment of seeing each other before O’s arrest or did they have another moment to say goodbye? So many questions…

13. This adorable reunion (2x16)

I love this scene for a number of reasons. If you think about it, both Bellamy and Octavia had no idea if the other was okay/alive. Octavia knew that Bellamy was the inside man at MW but she had no idea whether he was still alive and last Bellamy had heard, Octavia was in TonDC right before the missile hit. The look of utter relief on each of their faces upon seeing the other one alive and *relatively* well is so important and underrated.

14. The things Bellamy did for Octavia on the Ark (1x06)

One of main reasons I love 1x06 is because you get to see some the things Bellamy had to do to keep Octavia a secret (like I mentioned in #2). I really wish we got to see more of the sacrifices he had to make for the safety of his family because I’m sure there we things a lot more serious than this that he had to do to make sure no one found out about Octavia’s existence. (I also wish Octavia knew/could understand what he’s done for her but lemme not get into that right now)

15. The hand-neck thing!! (2x05)

This is just one of the many times that the Blakes do this hand-neck thing while hugging and it’s the actual cutest. The fact that they both do it is so nuanced and really shows how siblings pick up a lot of the same habits and mannerisms.

16. Bellamy taking Octavia outside for the first time (1x06)

If yall couldn’t tell, I love 1x06. Just look at the gif. The boy has actual tears in his eyes seeing Octavia look out at Earth. I head canon that Bellamy had been planning to take O outside their room their whole growing up and seeing that finally play out brings tears to his eyes. He’s so happy to see his baby sister so happy. I fucking love that. Lemme just ignore the shit storm that comes in a few short scenes.

Bonus: big brother bellamy is the hottest thing ever thank u

Not exactly a Blake sibling scene but… this was really hot.

#this took forever #first meta-ish thing #the blakes: sassy space siblings

21 notes · View notes

deanxreader-spn · 8 years

Text

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (’Eight’ Part 5)

A/N: After a long long long break I’m back Thank you for the flooding messages about the ‘Eight’ Series, I can’t wait to finish it off even better than it started. Love you all and I’m incredibly sorry for the long ass wait.

THIS IS AN AU SERIES SO JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND PLEASE!!! This is part five

Characters; reader(Kyra), Liam, Hayden, malia, kira, lydia, scott, theo, alison, carter white, stiles, mason,

(told in mixed POV’s)

word count: 1,709

pairing: Liam Dunbar x reader(Kyra) Liam x hayden (reader)kyra x carter

Other Parts to the Series

part one part two part three part four

Playlist

Listen to I Don’t Wanna Live Forever by Zayn Malik and Taylor Swif when reading this part. The link is on the playlist page, link is literally directly above this. I do not own the Lyrics nor the song. I also do not own any characters other than the new ones by names that are not involved in Teen Wolf, aka Kyra, Gavin etc.

How I picture Kyra in the gif below!! (after she dyes her hair lmao spoiler)

(LYDIA POV)

7 Days after Kyra left.

I didn’t know what it was that was off, but something was definitely not right. Like the universe shifted and now we were left slightly on an angle as we stood, basically doing that MJ dance move where he almost touches the floor but not really. But the scariest thing about it was as if no one else noticed but me. I sat in my room for six days, no contact with anyone, it was worse than when Jackson left, Kyra was my best friend, she was there with me when Alison died. I think that’s what made us closer, the simplicity of two girls mourning the untimely death of their friend. Ever since we were inseparable, sure we were close with Malia and the other Kira too but when it came to it hands down I would always choose Kyra over the other two, not to sound rude or anything.

I laid in the same spot on my bed for three hours on the seventh day, sure the others continuously attempted to reach out to me but it wasn’t important, what mattered was I had no contact from Kyra which probably tore me apart the most. I vaguely had the memory of screaming at the top of my lungs while Stiles held me back when Scott broke the news to us. “Where is she.” I had wailed repeatedly, then cried in Stiles’ arms as everyone looked on, including a pissed off and or jealous Malia. I didn’t care though, my best friend had died and the only girl to relate to me, who soon became even closer to me than Alison ever was, had abandoned me too. Now I was almost alone, Malia could fuck off, I needed anything but her scorn. As I was laying in my cocoon of tangled sheets, blankets and pillows, I heard the front door opened, and I knew immediately it was not my parents, but in all honesty I wasn’t alarmed, how was I to freak out when I couldn’t fee, just an empty numbness. “Lydia we’re coming up.” That was Stiles voice, why was Stiles here? Who was we? What was going on? I so badly wanted to yell at them to leave, but when I tried no sound came out. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs should’ve caused me to get out of bed, but I didn’t move, I wouldn’t. I stared straight at the ceiling, not caring to glance at the group of people crowding my bed, I knew who was there without even looking, and I could guarantee Kyra wasn’t there. “Hey Lydia.” Kira’s voice broke through to me, I ached to leap up and into her arms but didn’t dare. Another voice this time, “You need to get up, you can’t do this it’s unhealthy and unneeded.” The way she said it was smug and condescending and created a snapping feeling within me, like I was a glowstick and the glowing chemicals were miking and creating something else that ripped through my body, who did she think she was? I sat up, pin straight, and turned to look directly at Hayden, the bitch who did NOT belong in this pack. I hated her with a seething rage, she did this. “You know what you need to do Hayden? You need to get out of our lives and cut the superior and smug tone...bitch” I sneered, making sure I murmured the last part, “Lyds don’t-”

“No Stiles, don’t you dare ‘Lyds’ me. She has no right to be here, she’s not even dating anyone in the pack or friends with us, no one here turned her so why? Why is she here, give me one good reason why I should be all warm and fuzzy towards her. Oh, that’s right, you can’t give me a reason because they’re are none,” I cut him off, it felt so good to take my anger out on her. I turned towards Liam this time, “and if it weren’t for the snake you call ‘Hayden’ or ‘baby’ or whatever you call IT Kyra wouldn’t be GONE RIGHT NOW. SHE BROUGHT THEO TO SCOTTS HOUSE, SHE GOT THEO NEAR KYRA WHO HE BIT, OH AND SHE ALSO FUCKED THEO SO HAVE FUN WITH OUR ENEMIES SLOPPY SECONDS.” I began screaming, if you couldn’t exactly tell I wasn’t having the greatest period of my life. I felt the bed dip slightly and realized Stiles had sat down beside me, a dumbfounded look on his face. “Well she’s not wrong.” He muttered. I blew a stray piece of red hair out of my face that had fallen when I sat up but was too distracted to fix it and glared at Hayden, she looked shell shocked.

“You slept with Theo?” Liam took a step back, his face showing clear disgust and betrayal. “How did you know that?” Stiles whispered to me, he looked confused, but when did Stiles not look confused. “I honestly just threw that one in to mix things up.” I murmured back, watching the scene unfold in front of me. “I-I......” She looked at me with hatred and confusion, basically saying ‘How the fuck did she know that?’ “Well you hit the nail right on the head.” He choked back a laugh, but covered it up with a cough. “UGH.” Hayden shrieked as she stormed out of the room and stomped down the stairs, we all waited in silence but the door slam never came. “Did she leave the door open?” Mason broke the silence several minutes with the question we were all secretly pondering about. I rolled my eyes and flung myself onto my back. “I wish Kyra was here.” I whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

(KYRA POV)

I was running, I had an idea as to where I was heading, but not completely. Yeah, I obviously knew the place-ish seeing as I had gotten on a plane going to Seattle, Washington. The hardest part of this was I had no one, well, not no one but someone I couldn’t say I knew well. Carter White, tall, brooding and handsome, the boy I’d grew up with that was two years older and constantly invited me out to stay with him. The boy I loathed up until summer before ninth grade due to his constant teasing, even if my mother had continuously scolded me about being ‘nice because he has a crush’. But I’ve never been able to do ‘Nice’ with Carter White. He was my safety net, the one thing I could use to help me in this situation, and conveniently he also was a wolf, he promised to pick me up at the airport an take me to his hometown, somewhere in between Seattle and Portland, the name was unmemorable.

To: [email protected]

Cc:

Subject: Liar

Liam,

I read your email and I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner. I agree with you, I hate me and you should too. I did not do this in ‘The heat of the moment’, I’ve wanted to leave for a while, and if you even did care you would know that. Theres more to this story than me running due to simple rejection or becoming a wolf, sure it added to tipping me over the edge but there’s so much more. I could lie and say your recent email planted a seed of doubt about my ‘heat of the moment run away’ but that’s all it would be, a lie. I wont be contacting you for a while, so I guess I could say don’t wait up.

Kyra.

As I hit send I glanced up from my phone, but there was still no sign of Carter. If I guessed correctly I had about five minutes before he was to notice me if he was in fact lingering around, enough time to sort out my thoughts and build up a few walls.

“Kyra?” I spun around, mostly in shock, my judgement of timing was off, he appeared out of nowhere half a second after those thoughts floated through my mind. I didn’t immediately recognize him, he looked a few years older and incredibly attractive. Dark hair flipped out from under his baseball cap, he was all dark rugged lines and contours, beautiful but not beautiful enough to be called handsome, more so extremely hot. As I peered into his features I recognized Carter White, the same liquid black eyes that glinted with danger and seemed to suck you in as they bore into you, the chiseled jaw and the full pouty lips. “Carter.” I mustered a smile as his eyes took in my appearance, I felt like I was under a microscope and I so badly wanted to squirm. “Well, well, well. The little squid’s all grown up.” He smirked as picked up my bags. I gawked at his muscles bulging out of his black fitted v neck tee as he did so, “Don’t call me that Carter.” I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my eyes off of him, the task growing harder and harder by the second. “Sorry Angel.” He smirked. Angel. I liked that, especially from his mouth. Oh god, this couldn’t be happening. Just friends Kyra, remember that. “’Angel’?” I raised a brow as I tugged a corner of my lip up, a look I’d practiced for Liam many-a-time in the mirror for just under a year. I should’ve known I had more than friendly feelings for him a long time ago. I needed to forget Liam. “What else would I call a girl like you.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, could he get any cheesier.

My phone made a dinging sound as we neared the exit doors and I paused, looking at the screen to see I had a new email from Liam. “Someone important?” I heard Carter ask, I glanced up and met his eyes boring into me, the black so enchanting and pulling me closer to him. I wanted him. FRIENDS. “No.” I murmured as I shut my phone off and tucked it into my back pocket, shoving the doors open. Deep down I realized it was the truth, Liam was no longer of importance if I wanted to get out all the way.

28 notes · View notes

wellmeaningshutin · 8 years

Text

Short Story #64: Family Business.

Written: 3/13/2017 Backwards Week

Nothing says “loving and healthy family” like everyone seated around the dinner table together, enjoying their meals and each others company. It doesn’t always matter if there is conversation or not, because they have all day to talk to each other, so as the family quietly ate their dinner they didn’t have the need to break the silence, because they were comfortable with the way the dinner was going. Mother cut into the browned meat in front of her and ate it slowly and questioningly, father ate at that quick and steady pace that all fathers do, and their son tried to wolf his down with the hopes of finishing before his dad did. Usually he never showed such an interest in his food, but this meal seemed to be different. After letting out a long burp, which father chuckled at, and mother shook her head at in mock disgust, the boy asked, “What is this?”

“Yes dear,” mother said, staring intently at father, voice wavering, “What is this?”

“Meat,” father said, “Haven’t you had meat before?”

“Yeah,” the boy agreed, but he was only appeased for a moment, because, like many children, he had yet another question, “But what animal did it come from?” Silence. Mother and father stop eating and look at each other. “Meat always comes from an animal. What animal did this come from.”

“Its venison,” father finally responded, and he resumed his meal. Mother only stared out the window.

“Whats venison.”

“Deer, you know, with the antlers.” Pausing to chew. “I accidentally hit one with my car, so I decided why waste it? So I brought it down into the basement, and I decided to skin it and I got all of the delicious parts out. Your mother cooked it up, and now we are eating it. Do you like venison?”

“Yeah, its great. Why don’t we eat this more?”

“Because,” pausing to chew, “the law says that you can only eat deer if you killed it. Maybe we can go hunting when you’re older,” mother shook her head, then stared down at her plate, “and then you can eat it again.”

Then, enthusiastically, the boy began to pretend like he was a great hunter, in both an attempt to persuade his father to take him hunting, but also as a sort of game. He pretended to shoot father, who made a big scene about fake dying, and then he shot mother, who at fist didn’t notice as she stared at her plate, in a trance. The boy fired again, and then a third time, then mother finally noticed, and quietly said, “Oh, you got me.”

The game wasn’t over, and the boy started waving his arms around, making big gestures, pretending that he was shooting wildlife with a bazooka, or some other sort of childish nonsense, until he accidentally knocked over his glass of water, which fell onto the floor and shattered. Looking down at it, embarrassed, he didn’t know what to do. He looked up to his mother, who seemed mortified, and he felt very shameful about it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Mother kept staring, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Father got up from his chair, moved next to the boy and then kneeled down, hugged him, and started to tear up. “There is nothing you could do that would make us mad at you. Never forget that. There is nothing you could do that would make us stop loving you.” ———————————————————————————————————

“Do I look like I know how to cook this? What am I supposed to do here?” Mother was frustrated, and she was not happy with the task that her husband had dumped onto her. “Why can’t you do this?”

“Because I still have the remains to deal with, I have to go down there and make sure-”

“Make sure of what? That the bones wont get up and leave? No, bullshit, the mess will still be down there after dinner, so there’s no reason that it should be on me to-”

“Fine, fine, you have a point. Whatever.”

“Don’t get snippy with me, you’re the one who thought of cooking this. You’re the one who got too impulsive.” As her voice grew louder, he put up a finger to his mouth to remind her that their child might over hear, so she lowered her voice, almost to a whisper. “You should just be happy that I’m putting up with this shit.”

Throwing his hands up, he quietly exclaimed, “What was I supposed to do?” However, she wasn’t satisfied with this response and started to get dinner ready, hoping to improvise a good meal. “Really, what other options did we have?”

“Let’s just, let’s not fight right now. This just isn’t the time to fight about this.” Placing the frying pan on the stove, she asked, “What’s the internal temperature supposed to be to make this safe to eat?”

“I think pork is 145 degrees, so why not just go with that to be safe?”

“Alright, can you get pepper, lemons, and, um, what vegetables would make a good side with this?”

“Might as well try to add in roasted garlic, you can’t go wrong with roasted garlic.”

“Butter too, grab me the butter.”

“Seriously though-”

“No, just, not now. Maybe later tonight, but not now.”

“What? And let this fester between us?” Refusing to respond to him, mother focused on trying to make a decent dish out of this meat she had never cooked with, and probably would never cook with again. “You know what this does to marriages.”

“Go set the table.” And he obeyed, knowing that this was not the time. When she said something, she was always a hundred percent behind it, just like she had been that morning, and just like she was now. After he was finished setting the table, he just stood in the kitchen, keeping her company. It seemed like that was what she needed, so he just stood with her in silence. Now and then he would hold her from behind, maybe kiss her on the cheek, but he stopped trying to get a word out of her. They had been through a lot, and they had different ways of handling it. This was her way.

He knew that if he did what he had to do, it would just lead to him staying in the basement all night, and she probably wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. The silence was only broken when she said, “Alright, its finished, does this seem good.”

“It smells great, don’t worry. I’ll go get him. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Its all behind us now.” ———————————————————————————————————

Muscle and skin, stuck together, but with a knife they could be separated. This was all father had to do, alone in the basement, was to separate the muscle from the skin. It was strange to him, because this was all meat was, muscle, but he never really thought of it like that. Meat always seemed to be just that, meat, but while he was deeply focused in the act of procuring meat, it was all he could think of, how strange it was that he never thought of it like this before. It was like how a hydrated person can’t imagine being thirsty, the butcher can’t imagine meat as anything but muscle.

Footsteps made their way down the stairs, and father quickly turned around, afraid that their son would see the bloody mess in the bathtub, but he was relieved to see that it was just his wife. “How much longer will it take?” As she asked this she stayed near the top of the stairs, not wanting to look directly at the ghoulish task her husband had been left to. “I’m not trying to rush, I just-”

“No, I know, don’t worry. Maybe twenty more minutes, there really isn’t that much muscle so I have to-” when her face grew pale he stopped talking and returned to his task. “Don’t worry, I’ll try to hurry up.”

“Such a horrible, who could’ve expected-”

“Nobody could have. There was nothing we could do, its best to not think about it.”

“I can’t stand being up there alone, all I do is think about it. Its just, when I found out this morning, its just, you always think that it will never happen to you, but when it does-”

“It did, and now its over, and we’re handling it.”

“But-”

Turning around again, he started to beckon her towards him with a bloody, rubber glove. “Come here, sit by me, let me keep you company.” In response, she sat down on the steps. “What? What is it? Is it this?” He jabbed a thumb over his back, pointing at the mess in the tub. “Just think of it as meat, then its really not so bad, trust me.” She didn’t budge. “Remember when I used to go hunting? Its no different than that. Remember all of the venison I used to bring home, all wrapped up in that white paper? Just think of it like that, think of it as venison.” Still no response. “And if you think about it,” he began to chuckle, it was hard for him to keep a straight face, “this is the biggest game I ever caught. I never, I never thought I would catch a predator.”

It was very clear that she didn’t find this as remotely funny as he did. ———————————————————————————————————

Mother knew what to expect when she came down into the basement, but there was nothing to prepare her for the sight of it. There the bitch was, right in the middle of their dimly lit basement, tied to a chair, covered in holes, blood, gashes, and dead as disco. It was nothing like the bodies she had seen on television. To make things worse for her, to make this sight harder to take in, was the fact that this was the first time she had to be around death. Ever since she was a girl, she refused to go to funerals, it was just never an option, it was never possible, but here she was. This time there was no option to leave, she had to deal with it, but it was still too much, so she buried her head in her husband’s chest, and in response he embraced her. “What are we supposed to do with her?” The words were muffled in his chest. “What did we do?” She looked up at his face, which was focused on the woman in the chair, “We didn’t think this through, what happens when we get caught?”

Looking down at her, into her eyes, his voice was unnaturally calm, “No, no, we had to do this.” This didn’t seem like enough for her. “You know as well that I do, that we had to do this. We’ll find a way out of it, I swear, we just can’t break down right now. We can’t turn back.”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly this morning, I,” her face returned into his chest, but this time sobbing, soaking his shirt as his heartbeat calmed her down. All he could do was hold her until she was ready to speak again. “I didn’t really expect you to do this.” The words finally came out. “I was just angry, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t think you would.”

“No.” His voice broke as he said this. “You can’t, you can’t pin this on me. We’re in this together, look at me.” Stepping back so she couldn’t hide against him, still holding onto her shoulders, holding her away from him. “We can’t start blaming each other, it can’t work like that. If we do that, we’ll never make it through this. Its not me against you, its us against the world, and now we have to think about how we’re going to get through this.” She looked him in the eyes. “You know as well as I did that this had to happen, you’re just scared, that’s only natural. What’s happened has happened, there was no avoiding it, now what do we do next?”

The words were there, but she had trouble getting them out. It felt like if she spoke then she would break down, all over again.

“What do we do next?”

“I… I guess…” Tears began to stream out, she tried to wipe them away with a sleeve.

“You watch those crime shows, you have to have some idea. Please, I need you.”

She shook her head.

“Our son needs you. What happens if we get arrested for this?”

“There was… I guess… we could do what they did, in one episode, of, whatever it doesn’t matter. We could, we need to cut up the body, into small parts, and then we have to put them into separate bags, and toss them into trash cans, dumpsters, whatever, but we need to, we have to make sure that its far away. It needs to be spread out, and as far away from us as we can. We need to,” almost returning into silence, she realized that she had to keep going while she had traction, she had to use his calm to keep talking. In a way, it was infectious. “We need to make sure we have as little baggage as possible, just to lower the chances of any of them being found.”

“How do we do that?”

“I, I don’t know.”

Thinking for a second, then he said, “Well… Okay, bear with me on this, but… what if we…” This sudden break in calm worried her. “What if we eat her?” This caused her to break from his grasp, and step back in disgust. “Wait, no, don’t, hear me out! Think of it! If we do that, then we get rid of a lot of her, without risk of it being found. And, think of it, doesn’t she deserve this? Doesn’t she deserve to be turned into shit?”

It was hard not to laugh at this, “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. There’s nothing else she deserves. But I don’t want to have to-”

“No don’t worry,” pulling her close again, “you can leave that to me.” ———————————————————————————————————

When she finally regained consciousness, it took a while for her to make out her surroundings, and when her vision settled everything was still slightly blurry. There was Mr. Jones, staring her right in the face, hatred in his eyes. Then she remembered the situation. She wanted to run, to get out of there, but it turned out to be impossible since she couldn’t get her arms our legs free, they were bound to her chair. Her employer brushed the hair out of her eyes, and he whispered, “Just making sure that you can see what’s about to happen to you. I don’t want you to miss this.” Was he crying? “You didn’t think we wouldn’t find out, would you?”

It took her a little while to figure out what he was holding, and even though, at first, she thought it may have been a gun, it turned out to be more worrisome when she realized he was holding a drill.

“You didn’t think that you could just get away with it, unpunished, did you? Now, you’re probably wondering why we didn’t just call the police, why we have to resort to this, and I’ll tell you why. If we did that, then you probably would’ve just gone free. Most people, they wouldn’t understand why you are so fucking rotten, but… Wait.” Letting out a chuckle, “I don’t have to explain myself to you. Fuck you, you don’t deserve this speech.”

All she could hear was the drill, and she desperately tried to break free, but it was to no avail.

She never knew fear until she came to in the basement. She never know pain until the drill entered her kneecap. All of these lessons were worthless in the face of death. ———————————————————————————————————

Ring ring ring, the doorbell finally went off, and mother almost jumped off of the couch when she heard it ring, she had been on edge since he made the call. Getting up, nerves shot to hell, she muttered, “No, no, I can’t stay here, I’ll just go back to his room, play with him, you can handle.”

Father held her hands in his, “You have to stay here, just watch tv, okay? It has to seem safe, it has to seem natural.” Again, the doorbell rang out, crying for somebody to open the door. Walking to get the door, he turned back and said, “No going back now.”

When the door swung out of the way, he was face to face with their peppy baby sitter, who let out a loud and drawn out, “Hey!” as she gave him a big hug. Although he hardly responded, she brushed it off, saying, “You’re always such a stick in the mud.” Proceeding to walk into their home, without waiting for further comment, she proceeded to ask, “So, you really got a copy? Is it really original?”

“Yeah,” with his right hand rubbing the back of his head, he turned around and struggled to make eye contact, “Yeah, it used to belong to my father. He was really into that old, psychedelic rock stuff, but I have a tin ear and it all just sounds like noise to me.” Somewhere in the living room, mother stared at the television harder than she ever had in her life. “I found it in a box with his old stuff, down in the basement. It looks like somebody signed it, but-”

“No shit!”

“Yeah, but I can’t”

“Which door is the basement door?” Wandering down the hallway, she stopped and pointed to a door under the stair case, “Is it this one? I’ve never been down there, I didn’t even know you guys had a basement.” He could tell she felt like a great liar, he knew that this was all pretend, she damn well knew about the basement. Mother couldn’t move, she sat paralyzed and watched the screen, wishing there was something else on instead of that god awful sitcom.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” And he didn’t even have to wait, she just waltzed right down there. It threw him off guard, and for a second he stood there, surprised that it was that easy, but then he remembered that it wasn’t over yet, and he had to sprint so that he could get behind her in time to kick her down the stairs. When she turned around, after hearing the steps rushing behind her, she had a grin on her face, and asked how their son was doing. ———————————————————————————————————

Nothing but death, natural disasters, serial killers, diseases that were bound to wipe out the world if you didn’t watch out, that’s all it seemed like their local news was. It left father in a bad mood as he sat watching it, lazily eating cereal, enjoying his day off. Eventually he changed the channel, anything would be better than that trash, and he ended up on a channel that was running an old sitcom that he used to love, back when he was younger, but that he never got to watch since his wife hated it.

As if she sensed that awful show, his wife materialized in the door way, white as a sheet. “Oh, shit, I didn’t see you there. I, uh, I had to turn it on, it was either this or the local news, and you know how pessimistic it can be. It always makes the world out to be some dangerous place that it isn’t, and really anything is,” then he realized that she hadn’t even noticed the show. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Then she proceeded to tell him, but as the words came out it was as if everything went silent, but he knew what was being said. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to break something, maybe glass, he wanted to cry and scream, explode into a cloud of red mist, of blood and rage. He grew so hot that he swore he could have burned a hole in the couch. All he could hear was his heartbeat. “Who. Who is responsible.” She was frightened of him, she didn’t want to tell him. “You gain nothing from protecting him.” ———————————————————————————————————

There was something about playing with her son that was just incredibly frustrating. Maybe it was because he insisted that she play along, but every time she tried to do anything, he would just inform her of some new, made up rule, or would chastise her for not being able to read his mind. Most of the time she just went limp, and tried to get him to run the show as long as he could, hoping that he wouldn’t try to put focus on her. There was a time where she thought that board games would be an easy solution, but then she learned that established rules meant nothing to the kid. And she loved him more than anything, so what else could she do?

It was Saturday, she didn’t have work, was home all day, why wouldn’t she be with him, playing his frustrating games?

“And now its your turn, you’re the lion.”

“What do I do?”

“Oh come on, everyone knows this game.”

“Sweetheart, just tell me what I have to do.”

“Okay, so you, you’re the lion, right? You just have to, okay, wait.” And then, the micromanager that he is, he took the stuffed lion from her hand and went through with a demonstration of the game. He placed it next to his action figure, which was his character, in such a way that she almost had a heart attack.

“Where did you, what are you doing?”

“Come on mom, its a game, everyone knows it.”

“Where did you learn this game? Who taught yo this?”

#Free Write #Short Story #Writers on Tumblr #Family #Venison

0 notes