#the other girls were kind of annoying but still tragic and not unlikeable per say but yes homura is best girl

[kuramirocket]

I just saw all of Puella Magi Madoka Magica for the first time (I only really knew that the white creature was evil) and HOLY SHT. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't any of THAT.

Now need to find where to watch the movies!!

Homura is my fave!! She is best girl!

[tainted-musix]

Why is it hard for people to be themselves in the industry? And does the industry allow it?

I will admit I have been sleeping on Ed Sheeran and not just his music, but him in general. He is one of the few artist that is successfully himself. He put out his recent album No.9 Collaboration. 

Not only does he take different direction in music for himself he collaborates with numerous artist to create a DJ Khaled style album. However, he puts his own spin on the style. He ACTUALLY sings on them unlike DJ (subtle drag). 

I want to talk about the question in the title though.... If you’re here because you follow the page, care about the industry and educating yourself more on how it works, or you just stumbled upon it.... Welcome! I’m not the most knowledgable, but who is?

Recently Ed did an interview with Charlamagne tha God, for typing sake we will refer to him as CTG, ok? ok. The interview is basically a commentary for the project in video format. CTG asks him a question referring to the project, track by track, and Ed answers the question. He discusses lyrics and the meaning behind the people he chose to work with. One section of the interview was interesting though and immediately caught my attention. 

The specific thing I’ll be talking about is found around 34:50-36:04 . Ed talks about Beautiful People ft Khalid. In that conversation he speaks about how much he hated living LA and NY because of the fact that there was always something going on. There was always a party or an event that was happening. It was/is a constant cycle. 

This immediately made me think about Real Friends by Camila Cabello. Which in the lyrics she talks about LA and the idea of it being a paper town where everything is just for show. This is when things got interesting.

CTG asked Ed, “Why is it hard for people to be themselves in the industry? And does the industry allow it?”

Ed answered the question from his personal experience and I really loved it. He goes on to talk about how it is possible and there is a space for it in the industry, but that person would have to be successful as themself. Basically if you put on an act you can still be successful, but it’s tricky to get out of. 

By that and what he said afterwards I can assume he means you can definitely be successful as something else, but once you realize maybe you aren’t happy acting like someone you're not its hard to get yourself out the situation. 

So now this poses a completely separate question of if someone goes into the industry young and impressionable do they get to decide? 

Fifth Harmony (the girls involved), Miley Cyrus, even Justin Bieber for example they came into everything young. Miley was acting and had this Disney image to breakout of as well as many other Disney stars. At some point she had her moment of wanting to be Miley not Hannah and so she went and made noise the only way she knew how. With her music. She changed her style and how she was perceived to the public so she could break out of that mold. Now her numbers may not be the same, and she may not top the charts all the time or as often, but she found her own definition of success.

Justin Bieber, he came into the industry really early as well. Most people hated him at first. He had an annoying girly voice (they said). He has topped the charts his ENTIRE career and even when he comes back and does something like go on stage at Coachella with Ariana Grande or feature on a song with Ed it’s huge. That’s just the person he is. However, during the Purpose era til now he had this big moment of I want to do what makes me happy. So he got married and does features here and there. Does he still cause the occasional trouble? Absolutely, but he had his moment. He has taken a break to get his actual life on track. Music isn't about the money or the numbers anymore he wants a family and to do what he loves with the people he loves. 

Now 5h that's tricky. This situation is completely out of pocket. I have to take it a part. This group was first of all not formed because they were all close friends who knew the others could sing. This was manufactured. They signed contracts and are wrapped up in stuff that would take a lot of words to explain and I just don't feel like it. I’ll mince the words up though. 

Camila and Lauren were always the ones who were seen as the success of the group. Basically the Beyonce and Kelly, if you will. Ally, Normani, and Dinah were theoretically being thrown to the dogs (tragic). Where the label Syco/Sony saw weakness they saw something else. Those three are now doing their own thing. Out of their contracts and making music they like. They didn’t have the big moment per say rather they couldn’t leave on their own, but they have the opportunity now. 

Lauren and Camila are a different story though. 

Most people know the rumors Camila maybe gay or bi idk her story but that's the guideline. Even the gp is picking up on that .... but I digress. 

Lauren was able to come out as Bi after being told in short terms, maybe lets hold off. Some people in her family even advised her against it. But here we are. Homegirl hasn’t popped on the charts yet. Don’t comment that she has because GP barely heard Expectations. RELAX. Its the truth.

My point is she is getting new management and MAYBE...... she will be able to find her definition of success with music she makes and has say in. She was labeled the more rebellious one of the group and it has already been interesting to watch her grow. She has a huge interest in politics and advocating for people who don’t have as a big a voice as hers. She uses her voice for good and I admire that a lot. This is one of her hopefully many steps to being the person she wants to be. 

Now Camila...... I don’t even know. I’m confused. She has a lot going on right now. There’s definitely honesty in her music and she seems genuine. Ed even talks about her in his interview. He said she is very sweet, talented, and genuinely a nice girl..... It throws me off. The narrative that her team gives her or really anyone who isn't able to be authentically themselves in the industry. It’s really crazy when you think about it like this. 

She just wants to make music. She’s honest about her life experiences in interviews. Yeah she doesn't say everything, but nobody would. She’s not chasing the fame I don't think. I think the people behind her are though. She really looks exhausted half the time she's on tour or promoting something. Don’t even get me started on the Shawn thing. 

If it was genuine I don't think they would be parading it around. Don’t come at me in the comments either with the “you don’t know her”. I am more than aware that I don't, however the things people say about her makes it seem as though she is a woman of her word (when they aren't written for her of course). So when she says she wants to keep her relationships private, if she can, I truly believe that. When she said that Shawn is like her brother, and talks about the kind of love she's had for him previously, it’s very hard for me and many others to believe this relationship is anything more than promotion. Her choice or not. 

I have nothing against them, if they are happy whatever, but the way Camila has acted in the past about things and the excitement and joy she has about basic things aren't the same excitement I’ve seen now. 

Her image is the only thing that is stopping her from having that big moment. Her music is honest, real, and raw. You can tell that by the way she talks about the lyrics she writes. And the experiences behind the songs. She obviously puts all of herself into it. I just hope that she and any of the other people who are in her situation get the chance to enjoy that space that Ed talks about. A space where she can be completely herself. 

I hope they find their version of success. 

[365daysoftododeku]

4th May 2019

Author: CrzA

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Soul of a Song

A favourite song can say a lot about a person. Of course, that may not always be the case. After all, Izuku’s best friend is a bubbly, pink-cheeked girl who will smile in the face of adversity in spite of any troubles she may have, and some of her favourite songs have been screamo metal on more than one occasion. Izuku feels a little bad for her soulmate because of that, but then again, his doesn’t really have it any easier, he thinks. Not when he seems to change favourite songs like he changes pants.

Izuku kind of wonders what that says about him. His taste in music ranges from classical to bubble-gum pop, going through everything in between. Izuku would say that makes him sound diverse in his interests, but his soulmate might just think him indecisive, like he doesn’t really know what he likes and can’t stick with one thing. Given what he knows… that may very well be the case.

While most people he knows hear a different song at least every few years, Izuku has only ever found himself listening to one tune in his head on the occasions that it sneaks its way into his mind through the connection they share. Izuku likes that this strange connection soulmates share lets people hear the other’s preferred version of their favourite song. It makes it more unique, in a sense, that they really get to experience something their soulmate loves the way they love it.

For as long as he can remember, the song in his head has been the same: a lullaby, sung softly by a woman’s gentle voice. It sounds so wonderful, so peaceful, and whenever that song sneaks its way into his mind late at night when he is going to sleep, Izuku is lulled into his dreams by the thought of one day meeting his soulmate and asking them where it comes from.

Their favourite song never changed, not once, not even briefly. Ever since that first time, Izuku has heard that tender lullaby, and he can tell why his soulmate loves it so much. It must be annoying to hear a different song almost every other week when they stayed loyal to that one song for seemingly as long as they have lived.

Sometimes, Izuku feels a little ashamed, though he knows it’s quite silly. He can’t help what he loves, and that goes for everything, not just music. Izuku is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and gives it away quite easily, in all honesty. Some people might call that foolish, but Izuku likes to live life fully and giving it his all. Keeping emotions bottled up was never something he could do, let alone wanted to. He doesn’t want to hide how he feels, no matter what about.

So, if his favourite songs change along with the winds, then he likes to think that’s just because he has a lot of love to go around for things he finds appealing, beautiful, captivating. Sure, sometimes he questions his tastes, but who doesn’t, really? Well, his soulmate apparently. But that’s something he tries not to dwell on much. He chooses to focus instead on the softness of that lullaby.

If that has always been his soulmate’s favourite song, then they must be someone sentimental as well. Izuku can certainly relate to that, at least. He can only hope that they have more things in common—if this is even one at all, since it’s all just conjecture.

As unusual as his soulmate’s favourite song never changing might be, however, Izuku thinks it might be a good thing. Some people spend their entire lives not really knowing their soulmates given the nature of the bonds between them. A lot of people can have the same song as a favourite, it’s often hard to pinpoint whether someone really is their soulmate or not.

Izuku has known of couples who were sure they were soulmates, only to find out further into their relationship that they had just happened to be obsessed with the same popular song at the time. That often doesn’t break them up, which Izuku thinks is good. Soulmates are somewhat of a strange concept to begin with, but they don’t necessarily mean that these two people should spend the rest of their lives together, romantically anyway.

Although, a small part of Izuku still has that childhood naïveté that longs for someone fated to be with him, so to speak. So what, he’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. That’s not such a bad thing, in his humble opinion, even if Ochako and Kacchan give him a lot of grief for it—for slightly different reasons, but still.

It’s not really a surprise that whenever Izuku has a crush on someone one of the first things he tries to learn is whether they are his soulmate. He isn’t as dense as to throw away a perfectly good thing just because he comes to the conclusion that they aren’t, but he can’t stop himself from asking. A part of him just keeps wondering ‘what if’, asking ‘wouldn’t it be wonderful’. Every single relationship he has been on, Izuku was never able to resist finding out.

Finding out their favourite songs didn’t match with the lullaby in his mind was never disappointing, though. He still liked them, still wanted to be with them, and that wasn’t going to change because the universe had bonded him to someone else. Even when those relationships eventually ended, for one reason or another, Izuku never once thought it had anything to do with them not being soulmates. They were just different people who wanted different things.

Well… somehow that seemed to change between his last few crushes. Izuku’s most recent crush was unlike any of the others.

When Izuku got to college, he wanted to focus on his studies. Medicine wasn’t really an easy career and Izuku had worked too hard getting here to let himself get side-tracked. He knows that when he falls, he tends to fall hard, and that sometimes affects his productivity. It’s somewhat impossible to memorise notes when they’re horribly scribbled with doodles of hearts and someone’s name rather than what he should have been paying attention to in class.

But again, Izuku isn’t one to run away from his feelings, and just because he hadn’t been planning to get into a relationship, that didn’t stop his feeble heart from fluttering at the sight of one of his newest classmates. At first, Izuku had tried to write it off as just simple attraction, after all… he is quite stunning.

As far as Izuku is concerned, Todoroki Shouto is more suited for the title of Adonis than whatever man had been the term’s namesake. His beauty is one unmatched by anyone he has ever met or (he thinks) will ever meet. It’s extremely hard not to stare when faced with a gaze as intense as a summer storm threatening to burst, clouds of gentle grey next to vast bright blue skies, especially when they are framed by white as pure as snow on the right and fiery red on the left. That icy blue stands out even further on a backdrop of mountainous skin, covered in grooves and valleys of reddish clay, sculpted in a way that could only have been tragic.

To add to such a breath-taking face, Todoroki is also tall and well-built, but not obviously so. Izuku trains, he has a noticeable build whenever he bothers to wear anything formfitting. But Todoroki is lean; turtleneck sweaters he seems extremely fond of in winter hug his figure in a way that leaves nothing to the imagination, but it’s subtle. One could almost write him off as lanky if they didn’t pay enough attention, but Izuku has most certainly been paying a lot of it.

Yet as beautiful as Izuku finds him, that is certainly not the extent of his feelings towards Todoroki. At first, Todoroki hadn’t been very friendly, not just to Izuku but really anyone around him. Rudeness is not a trait Izuku finds attractive at all, though he could tell that wasn’t the whole story. There was a tale hidden in those eyes that whispered through his posture, his quiet way of talking, the coldness of his aura.

For every time that Todoroki pushed people away, Izuku could see a sadness behind every gesture, hear a plea in every word. It broke his heart to see someone feeling so lonely yet having only isolation as their defence mechanism against whatever they might fear so deeply. And maybe meddling was ill-advised, but it had always been in Izuku’s nature to want to help people whenever he saw them struggle. That was half the reason he wanted to be a doctor anyway.

It was a slow process, an arduous journey to climb walls built so high they seemed impossible to breach. But kindness goes a long way, it builds bridges to cross entire valleys of distance put between him and the rest of the world.

It started small, as most things do, a word of comfort, an offer of help, a few gentle smiles. A front as cold as ice melted by a caring warmth as, slowly but surely, Izuku chipped away at his defences, gained his trust the best way he knew how. By being there when it looked like he needed someone the most.

It had been a bit of happenstance, that Izuku just so happened to be out for a run the moment Todoroki had stormed out of the university hospital doors with the look of someone ready to fall apart masked as murderous ire. It didn’t really suit him at all.

Izuku had run right into him, neither of them paying enough attention to their surroundings for entirely different reasons. The lullaby had been sounding softly in Izuku’s head and he had become distracted with the soft cadence of the woman’s voice, closing his eyes for just a moment to savour the honey-sweet notes. Todoroki had been half blinded by a rage incited by one who did not deserve the energy it took out of him.

Izuku still likes to call it a twist of fate. That was the first time they truly talked beyond a few words, when Izuku was so flustered with the accident—earning the other a few scrapes when they fell in a tangle of limbs—, that he insisted on making it up to Todoroki somehow.

“If I accept a coffee, will you let it go?” He had caved in exasperation, startled by Izuku’s sudden rambling that, as per usual, didn’t seem to have an end in sight.

A simple coffee turned to a long walk back to the dorm building. Apparently, they were living in the same one and never knew. They talked quietly as they went side by side, slowly closing the initial distance between them until their elbows occasionally brushed together every other step. It was nice, comfortable. Before they knew it, they had talked the night away, shared a few short laughs, a few heartfelt words.

It became a routine, of sorts, tacked on to his runs. Todoroki desperately needed someone to talk to, someone to trust, and Izuku was more than happy to be that person. He learned so much about Todoroki, everything he thought about him proving to be truer than he imagined. His father wanted him to follow in his footsteps to becoming a world-renowned neurosurgeon, but Todoroki’s heart was somewhere else entirely.

He had a way with kids, a gentleness he claims to have only his mother to thank for. Izuku thinks that it’s really all him, but whenever he says as much, Todoroki shrugs it off. Still, that side of him is important, enough to shape his entire career around it, and that he doesn’t deny, at least. Izuku loves that about him, too, the kindness in everything he does whenever he is around children.

No matter what his father tells him, Izuku refuses to believe Todoroki will do anything but what he is meant to. “It’s your decision, isn’t it?”

The smile that had stretched on Todoroki’s lips at the sound of those words is one Izuku will never forget, even if he wanted to. “Yes… Thank you, Midoriya.”

There is no doubt in his mind that Todoroki will make a great Paediatrics Surgeon, whenever he gets far enough to pick his specialty. And if it’s the last thing he does, Izuku will be right there with him in Trauma. If all goes well, anyway…

As they grew closer, they started studying together, quizzing each other for upcoming exams, supporting each other through all-nighters to memorise the entirety of the Human Physiology book, getting addicted to caffeine together; just med school things. But Izuku also found his feelings for Todoroki getting harder to set aside with each day that passed. At this point, Izuku was sure that he had a full-blown case of puppy love.

So, came the usual question as they studied.

“Hey, Todoroki-kun?” A hum was all the answer he got as his friend kept writing down his flash-cards. “What’s your favourite song?”

There was a pause as Todoroki blinked up at him, eyes adjusting to the new plane of vision from staring so closely at the tiny papers. “I don’t have one.” He said simply, quickly returning to his work.

“Oh.”

And that—that was the moment Izuku realised something changed. A cold feeling settled deep in his gut that he still feels right now, as he stares up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. His heart is still squeezing rather painfully in his chest and his eyes have been constantly prickling with the threat of tears. This crushing disappointment is something Izuku had never expected out of his feelings for Todoroki.

Everything just feels so right with him. Each time he thinks of them being together, Izuku can only imagine them being absolutely meant to be. And perhaps that’s a bit selfish, or even a little crazy, but… Something about Todoroki felt special, and he can’t shake that feeling no matter how much he tells himself that it shouldn’t change anything. It hadn’t before.

It would be so stupid to not pursue his feelings because of something as insignificant as Todoroki not being his soulmate and yet… Just thinking of it now stabs him right through the chest, leaving him to bleed openly. He shouldn’t feel this way, he knows. Izuku had been in love before and this never bothered him, so why now? Why did he feel like Todoroki might be the one? Why was his heart so sure that being wrong is so painful?

The next day, Izuku almost considers avoiding Todoroki until he can get over this ache that has burrowed so deeply in his soul. But just one look at those mismatched eyes and he is as lost as he has been since the very first time he found himself staring into their vast depths. As much as it may hurt right now, that gaze is still a comfort, it still holds that same kindness and gentleness. He can’t stay away and he knows that. For all intents and purposes, he knows that he doesn’t want to.

In spite of that ache settling deep in his soul, Izuku returns to business as usual, stuck in a limbo of confusing feelings. Todoroki must notice that something is off, he is keen like that, but he doesn’t pry him for information, just does little things that might lift Izuku’s spirits. He is the kind of person who may value someone’s right to keep to themselves, but he never backs down from helping his friends feel better, no matter what it takes. Stars, Izuku loves that about him too.

Just the fact that Todoroki can ease this strange pain by simply being himself and staying by his side even as he acts a little more aloof than he intends is enough to make him fall that much harder. Izuku takes comfort in their friendship, lets Todoroki’s kindness help him patch up the small tears in his soul. They shouldn’t have happened at all, but Izuku had built foolish expectations.

Todoroki is wonderful and Izuku loves him, no point in trying to make it not so. If fate, or destiny, or whatever it might be, has bonded him to someone else then… Maybe he will meet them down the line. Maybe he will love them and maybe he won’t. Even if he was disappointed—even if he still is—, that shouldn’t tarnish what they have right now. Izuku will be damned before he lets his silly and misguided hopes bring him down.

At least it’s easy to fall back into their routine when their studies don’t really allow much else. Soon enough, Izuku can almost pretend the dull throb in his soul isn’t really there, humming absentmindedly as he taps his pencil on the pages of the book he’s reading in time with the song’s beats. He hardly even notices he’s doing it until Todoroki’s voice jolts him back to reality.

“What is that you’re humming?”

Blood crawls up to Izuku’s cheeks and he clears his throat before apologising. “I’ll stop, didn’t mean to distract you.”

“What? No, that’s not what I—what’s the song?”

Izuku blinks stupidly, confused for some reason. After a couple of heartbeats, Izuku just tells him and Todoroki purses his lips.

“Is… is that your favourite song, by chance?” Todoroki asks, his eyes shining curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just that it’s my soulmate’s favourite song.” Todoroki… has a soulmate…

Izuku’s eyes sting dangerously but he just takes a deep breath and pushes through it. “I mean, it’s a fairly popular song at the moment, so that’s not so strange.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Humming in thought, Izuku sets his pencil down, swallowing around the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. “I guess, yeah. For now.”

“For now?”

“Yeah, I mean… I change favourite songs a lot…” He lets out a nervous chuckle, biting on his bottom lip for a moment. “My soulmate might find it annoying. Maybe they don’t even like the types of music I do and I just keep switching. Sometimes back and forth in the span of a couple of days.” Todoroki keeps staring at him and Izuku shifts awkwardly, wondering if he’s said something wrong and triggering his knee-jerk reaction. “Is that—is that weird? I’ve known people who change their favourite songs often too. But hey, it’s not like I don’t stick to certain songs for longer periods of time too! It’s just rare… and well, I mean, I’ve had some really weird obsessions too. There was this one time I couldn’t stop listening to—” Izuku cuts himself off, realising how embarrassing that particular song actually is. “You know what, never mind.”

“Chick Chick?”

Izuku’s eyes widen. “What.”

“By um… Wang Rang Rolling, if I remember correctly…” Todoroki raises an eyebrow, a corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “That was an interesting week, I must say.”

“Wait. Wait. You—How do you—What are you saying?!”

“Just out of curiosity, did you recently discover a particular band? Been listening to it a lot and changing favourites between them?”

“S-stop! You’re—how do you even—” Izuku stumbles through all of the jumbled sentences in his mind, unable to settle on any.

Suddenly, Todoroki hands him his phone, showing off a playlist with so many songs it’s a bit ridiculous. Izuku’s gaze focuses on the ‘My Soulmate’ as the title, scrolling down the list and finding favourite after favourite of his. His vision blurs and tears start to escape the confines of his eyes, one by one until Izuku he is sure he won’t be able to stop it.

“I suppose that you’re my soulmate, then?”

“You lied to me.” Izuku whispers, his voice raw, that hurt from before coming back with a vengeance.

“What, no—”

“You said—You told me you don’t have a favourite song! Why did you lie to me if you were just going to tell me this anyway?! Is that—is this a joke? Were you just messing with me since I asked you?!” Izuku blurts, outrage tainting his every other emotion.

Todoroki falls back slightly, hurt and confusion ghosting past his features and stabbing Izuku even further. “I don’t have one. I never lied to you, Midoriya.”

“Then why do I hear it in my head? Why have I always heard it in my head for as long as I can remember?!”

The anger ebbs away the longer Todoroki just stares at him at a complete loss, looking like a kicked puppy as Izuku fixes him with a terribly anguished gaze. His expression softens slowly as the realisation dawns on him…

“You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what? Midoriya, I have no idea what you’re—”

When Izuku starts to sing, cringing slightly at his own voice and how off it sounds with the words, Todoroki falls completely silent. Izuku knows he could never do that woman’s rendition justice, but he still tries his best, pausing on the same beats, lowering and raising his tone just the way she had. Recognition begins to shine in those mismatched eyes and Izuku keeps singing for as long as his choked voice allows, trying his best to keep his sobs at bay as not to ruin the soft melody.

“You… I… Where did you hear that?” Todoroki murmurs, crawling closer and reaching for Izuku’s face.

Sniffling, Izuku takes his hand and brings it to his cheek himself. “A woman sings it in my head. It’s soothing and beautiful, and I wish I could faithfully reproduce it for you.”

“That’s…” Todoroki brings his free hand up to cover his mouth, closing his eyes for a moment as he catches his hiccupping breaths. “My mom used to sing that for me… A really long time ago… I can’t believe that you…”

“It’s your favourite song, Todoroki-kun. It always has been.”

Nodding, Todoroki takes both his hands back to hide behind them, his shoulders shaking softly, and Izuku drags himself closer, the betrayal he had felt mere minutes before all but forgotten. Without wasting a single breath, Izuku throws his arms around Todoroki, pulling him into the tightest embrace he can manage in this position. Fingers curl tightly around his shirt after Todoroki buries his face in Izuku’s neck, trembling breaths tickling the column of his throat and making him shiver.

“I’m sorry, I’m… I had forgotten how much I loved hearing her sing that for me…”

Izuku’s heart clenches at the contradicting grief and joy in his words and he does his best to hold his soulmate closer, a swarm of butterflies fluttering within him when it finally starts to sink in that he was right—he was actually right!

“Can you…” Todoroki starts, then trails off until Izuku nudges him to please keep going. “Can you sing it again? Please.”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. And as he does what Todoroki asked of him, he notes the echo inside his head morphing to match his own voice.

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