#the other hullabaloo members

[ramp-it-up]

Christmas Time to Me

Pairing: Duke! Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: Less than the last one, ok?

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT, Explicit description of graphic sex. Read at your own risk.  All errors my own. Pining, angst, young pregnancy, Henry is someone’s father, I am writing about British nobility and I am not British, jet lag, reader has a slight inferiority complex, definite ‘Sir’ kink,  Dom thoughts, bratty behavior. Oral (both receiving) nipple, play, rough sex, size kink, cow girl, face sitting, p in v (wrap that up). Whew, this was quite different than the tender scene I thought to write.

A/N: This is for #DJ’sAllIWant4KChristmas and based on this ask from @ysmmsy found here. Let me know if you liked it, love. ❤️

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Good afternoon my Dear Professor. What do you think about the latest hullabaloo about the British Museum. Do you think they should return all artifacts? It would empty everything out.

Your alarm went off and you yawned and stretched, then reached for your phone, trying not to have any expectations. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you saw a text waiting there from 12 minutes ago, 6:48 am Houston time.

Good morning, Sir. You know very well what I think about that. I could give a rat’s ass about the BU’s inventory.

Lol, I agree, just wanted to get your blood flowing on this beautiful chilly noon day, mate.

You squirmed at the innocent words. He sure did get your blood flowing, to interesting places. And from just a friendly text.

Thank you, Sir. But it’s a nice balmy morning here in Houston. Now go eat lunch!

Henry grinned.

I will. I am looking forward to seeing you and Junie in a couple of days.

Somehow, you could see Henry’s smile through the phone.

I’m excited. I will do professor stuff while you and Junie are hanging out.

Thank you for the consideration, but there is no question that I will leave you alone for a second.

The authoritative tone reached you over 5,000 miles. You shivered, then shook it off.

🙄 Okay, Sir. I have to shower. See you in a couple of days.

You put your phone back on your charger as you shook your head, knowing that you would think of him while you were getting clean.

Henry stared at the text for a long time, his lunch stuck in his throat. He needed to take a drink of water, suddenly very thirsty. His pants got tighter at his desk as he imagined you all wet in the shower. And you calling him ‘Sir’ did things to him. You affected him in a myriad of ways with one text.

“Christ, Y/N,” growled Henry to himself as he rubbed the bulge in his now tighter pants. 

He ran his hand through his curls, trying to think of how he would both be appropriate with you in front of Juniper-Rose, and get beyond this friend zone you’d put him in.

Your ‘friend’ was actually a member of British nobility, Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill, the 12th Duke of Jersey, but one who worked at a non-profit for climate change. Your research on Britain’s role on colonialism and world oppression and his activist heart connected you on an intellectual level. He was tall, hot, and a little bit nerdy, just your type. 

Too bad that he was your best friend’s baby daddy.

The first time you saw Henry, there was an instant attraction, at least on your side. He was gorgeous, bright blue eyes happy and full of kindness. He looked at you with an appreciation that you recognized from a man, but there was nothing offensive in his gaze.

Junie was literally bouncing in his arms, and his smile was ear to ear for his toddler. He seemed full of girl-dad joy and it was obvious that he was wrapped around her tiny little finger. Of course that made him even more alluring. 

You tried to keep from swooning every time you saw Henry, as he grew up from slim-thick twenty something to grown and sexy hunk of a thirty something. Every time you saw him, he got sexier. And your body reacted more.

But girl code, and the fact that you were sure that he was still in love with Jasmine even though they were not together, prevented you from sharing your feelings.

You settled for debates whenever he was in town, which morphed into emails, which changed into friendly texts. He spent all of his available time in Houston with Junie, your goddaughter (christened Marion Eleanor Juniper-Rose Cavill), so the talk was light and passing, and you didn’t want to intrude on Daddy/Daughter time. Smiles and electronic chatter was the entirety of your relationship with Henry. Or so you thought.

You couldn’t, and shouldn’t want for anything more.

Jasmine was always the brightest star in your friend group. To you, she was always just a little bit cuter, prettier, popular and brighter than you, becoming a Rhodes Scholar and jetting off to Britain at 17, while you only earned a National Merit and stayed at home in Houston to attend Rice University. 

You two stayed close, communicating every day, you reveling in her adventures studying Economics at Oxford during the week and partying in London on the weekends. You lived vicariously, internalizing the stories Jazz told you as you lived your quiet academic life at Rice with your quiet boring boyfriends. 

She casually dropped the news about Henry and the fact that he was a Duke, stating that he was bored of his life of duty and privilege. They kept it fun and casual. Until Jasmine turned up pregnant during her senior year. 

Even though they were young starting out, Jasmine and Henry were wonderful co-parents. The only difficulty in the arrangement was that neither Henry nor Jasmine would, or could, give up their lives 5,000 miles apart. Despite his obligations, distance was no barrier for Henry. He would fly over at the drop of a hat for his daughter. 

One memorable occasion was when Junie broke her arm playing soccer at eight years old and had to have surgery. You almost hyperventilated when you ran into Henry, who was on Jasmine’s doorstep a day later looking tired and worried. He was very, very handsome, but he was not checking for you. It was all about Juniper-Rose, as he called her. And probably Jasmine too. 

The next years of Junie’s life were filled with regular visits to Britain and from her father. Henry came to the States every summer for Junie’s birthday and took her back to Britain for a few weeks. Jasmine took her to London every Christmas, using the opportunity for her work in Economics and to catch up with her European friends. 

So here it was, Junie’s 14th Christmas, and you were recruited (by Jasmine of course) to escort her to visit her father on her yearly holiday visit to Britain. Except Junie refused to go this year. Something about wanting to be with her friends who were going to Mexico. And so you wound up being convinced (by Jasmine of course) to go alone. For the entire eight hour flight, you lamented the fact that you did something that you normally don’t: go with the flow

When you landed at Heathrow on December 23rd, you expected a driver to be waiting for you, but what actually happened was surprising. There was Henry, with a small smile, holding up a placard with your name.

You stopped for a moment, heart beating erratically, not expecting this at all. Henry gazed at you as you collected yourself and moved toward him. His smile grew incrementally as you got closer.

“Hullo.”

His baritone held early morning gruffness and was making you feel some kind of way.

“Hello Henry, I mean Sir…I mean Mr. Cavill…Your Grace...” 

You felt like you had to curtsey, and you were tongue tied. Meeting Henry in England was different from talking to him on the phone, or texting. Then, you could pretend that he was a regular person, not British nobility and the real-life embodiment of your fantasies.

Henry’s eyes dilated when you called him ‘Sir,” but then he blushed and looked down, then back up at you to correct you quietly, but firmly.

“Henry is fine. Welcome to London.”

God, you were wet.

“Thank you. I.. I didn’t think that you would meet me personally, I mean, knowing that Junie wasn’t here.”

Henry’s smile dropped.

“Juniper-Rose and I spoke, and I am disappointed, but hopeful that she will join us. But I had to come greet you. To thank you for… for everything that you do for my daughter. And for me.”

Henry held your gaze for as long as you would allow before you flushed and turned your eyes to the floor. He was so god damned beautiful.

“No… no.. problem. I love that little girl.”

Henry reached for your carryon, brushing your fingers with his. You felt electricity down your spine as he started walking toward the exit. 

“My driver, Benjamim, will get your other bags.”

You chuckled. 

“So you do have a driver…” Henry cocked his head at the comment, wondering what was going on in that head of yours.

“Of course. I told you. I wanted to meet you myself. You are a very special person to me.”

You did not, for a moment, believe that he really meant that. It was simply British politeness.

“And I told you. What I do for Junie, I will do forever. She is like my own.”

You did not want Henry to be nice to you out of obligation.

“And that is part of why I… That is why I have to thank you.”

You were quiet, wondering what this outpouring of communication and sentiment was owed to. You zoned out as you were waiting for the car, staring off into space as you bit your lip. Was Henry trying to get back with Jasmine? Is that why he met you at the airport? What was the reason? 

You sighed when you realized that you were giving yourself a headache overthinking, and you realized that you hadn’t had any caffeine yet this day.

Henry interrupted your thoughts with a chuckle.

“You’re overworking that mind of yours, Professor.”

You made a face as he laughed again.

“Come, we’ll get you settled and get you some tea and allow you to rest. Then, tonight, we’ll go out and witness Christmas Time in London.”

“That is just the ticket. Thank you again, Sir Cavill.”

You gave Henry your full smile and a little curtsey this time, and you could see Henry’s smile falter. He cleared his throat and opened the door of the SUV for you. You got in, relaxed in the luxurious seats, and was asleep before Henry and Benjamin got your bags in the car.

As the car rolled along into London, Henry watched you sleeping. You were beautiful, unguarded and soft. He knew that you didn’t know how gorgeous you were and that you constantly compared yourself to Jasmine. For him, there was no comparison. The first time he saw you, it was like he was struck by lightning. At that time, he thought it was unlucky. Only with time and maturity did he realize that he could make his own luck. With you.

You awoke as the car pulled into a drive of a beautiful, large white building. It was almost like a castle. Henry was staring and you stared back, disoriented at first. You looked around.

“Is this the hotel?”

Henry smiled at you.

“It’s my home.”

You smiled back at him.

“It’s beautiful. Will Benjamin be taking me to my hotel after this?”

“I was hoping you would stay here… those were the plans when Juniper- Rose was coming and I… “

Your mouth was hanging open and Henry’s heart sank.

“Of course, I’ll get you a hotel…”

You felt bad. Henry had done an awful lot for you.

“No need! I’d love to stay here. You are too kind.”

Henry looked troubled.

“Y/N, I…”

 “Yes?”

“Never mind. Let’s get you settled.”

Your suite of rooms were gorgeous. It was basically a little flat, with a sitting room, en suite and a huge four poster bed, and roaring fireplace. 

As soon as you were in your suite, tea was delivered. You are something, took a shower and then rested, letting everyone know you had landed. You were due to get dinner with Henry at 7 PM London time. You decided to nap some more to get over your jet lag. You needed to clear your head of all of your anxious thoughts, and sleep always helped.

It seemed your dreams were filled with thoughts of Henry as well. You woke up warm and wet, as well as dismayed that you were going to be with him in England for so long with this yearning need and no way to satisfy it. You were glad that you had packed your small toy. You needed some relief before you saw him again, or you were liable to jump his bones.

When you came down the stairs at 6 pm, you took Henry’s breath away. You were dressed in a bright red sweater which showcased your cleavage and form fitting black pants that showed all of your curves. Your face was slightly flushed and your smile was shier than this morning. He just wanted to take you in his arms when you reached the bottom stair.

“You look Lovely, Y/N.”

Henry’s eyes shone at you. Damn, he was being so nice.

“How do you feel?”

“Well. I think I’ve done my best to fast forward my body to Londont time. Ready to go!”

You moved to put your coat on, and Henry took it, his fingers brushing your neck as you were getting it settled. He felt your slight shiver as he let his fingers linger just a moment. He had a little bit of hope.

You took him in. Henry had changed from his pullover and joggers that he had on in the morning to a broadcloth shirt unbuttoned at the neck and with sleeves rolled up. He was in dress pants and shoes, and his hair looked combed but run through with fingers. You wished you could play in those curls. You stared for what seemed like forever until Henry cleared his throat and offered his arm. 

“Are you ready to see the sights?”

“I sure am, Your Grace.”

Henry rolled his eyes and shook his head

“Stop. If anything, I should be on my knees for you.”

“What?”

You didn’t quite believe that you heard him correctly. He smiled.

“Nothing, let’s go.”

——

You were absolutely charmed all night. Henry showed you around London sights at sunset and a dinner at Cafe Cecilia. You talked with Henry like you were old friends, and you were, in your way.

Any anxiety you had about Jasmine was erased from your mind with the good food, good wine, and good conversation, mostly about you. If you didn’t know any better, you would think this was a date.

When you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, you didn’t see Henry checking out your ass in your slacks, you just saw how happy you were in the mirror when you washed your hands, you tried to tell yourself to calm down, that he wasn’t into you at all.

Meanwhile, Henry was wiping his hands on his slacks, trying to quiet his own nerves. Your conversations over the years stuck with Henry, and he played them over and over in his mind. When it got to the point that he was replaying how your mouth looked, your curves that his eyes couldn’t help but trace, and the erotic dreams he had about you, Henry had to admit to himself that he had more than just friendly feelings for you.

When he looked up and saw you coming back to the table, his erratic heartbeat and the fact that he could swear that your nipples were erect and pointing right at him, made him decide to tell you how he felt. That night.

An hour and a half later, you were looking over the night skyline with Henry in the private London Eye pod he rented when he spoke to you, barely above a whisper. His voice was hesitant and gruff. And sexy as hell.

“Y/N. I think I… I do.. I feel for you very deeply.”

You turned to him, butterflies loose in your belly.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Come on, Y/N. Exactly how much more hinting do I have to do? I am absolutely besotted with you. I told Jasmine how I felt months ago.”

Henry was looking at you, with those beautiful blue eyes determinedly fixed upon you as you paced before him inside the capsule. It was not lost upon you the fact that his eyes were taking in the entirety of your figure. The backdrop of the lights of the city surrounding you from atop the Eye made the scene that much more romantic.

But you didn’t feel romantic. You felt incredulous. 

Henry stood up from the bench in the middle of the pod.

“Y/N. I text you every morning..”

“But that’s just your lunch time.”

“I call you my Dear Professor..”

“That’s… that’s just a British thing, like Sherlock Holmes..”

Henry raised his eyebrow at you and looked stern.

“Y/N. I think about you all the time. I am constantly thinking of how to tell you how I feel and now that you are here, in front of me, I’ve decided to just say it.”

You stared at him.

“Well.”

Henry sighed, frustrated.

“Well. I have deep feelings for you.”

“I can’t believe… you did all this. For me?You hardly know me.”

“Don’t start this again. I want to get to know you.”

“Are you trying to get next to Jasmine again?”

Henry threw his hands up.

“What has this got to do with her?”

“Everything has to do with her!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does.”

Henry was mad.

“Tell you what. Forget I said anything.”

“Fine.”

“Great.”

You two sat in the pod in silence for the next 15 minutes until the ride was done. Henry was texting on his phone and by the time you disembarked, Benjamin was waiting with the car. 

You were despondent as you drove back to Henry’s place. You watched him glaring out of the window and thought you’d certainly blew your chance.

“Good night, Y/N.”

Henry breezed by you as you entered the house. You said goodnight to his back as he went up the stairs. 

Yep. You blew it.

30 minutes later, Henry was tossing and turning, fighting the urge to go to your rooms and fuck you into submission. You needed to be tied up and… Needless to say that Henry was not getting a good sleep thinking of all the ways he could try and make you understand.

You were nowhere near sleep. The nap earlier and the time difference had you wide awake. As well as thoughts of Henry.

After an hour and a half, you found yourself in the hallways looking for Henry’s rooms. As you crept down a passageway, a door opened on your right.

Henry, sexy as hell in pajama bottoms and curly chest hair, glared down at you.

“What are you doing?”

The question was terse, and you felt the chill. He was still mad.

“I was thinking…” 

You bit your lip as you looked up at him, and Henry melted a bit. But just a bit.

“That’s the problem. You think too much.”

“I know…”

You found yourself playing the brat and moving closer to him as he guarded his doorway.

“But I wanna know what you think.”

Henry sighed.

“What I think about what?”

His raised eyebrow indicated that he was about done with you. You feared a spanking. And that made you smile.

“What do you think about when you think of me…”

Henry blinked and pursed his lips. But he didn’t hesitate for long.

“I think about how smart you are, how funny. I think about how our conversations make me think. And I wonder what goes on in that head of yours.”

You lifted your chin to look him in the eye. Henry returned your gaze, then allowed his eyes to follow the form of your body in your thin t-shirt and short shorts.

Henry’s jaw clenched and he seemed to take a step back. You pursued him, stepping forward.

“Is that all?”

You felt more confident now, and your sultry voice was barely above a whisper. Henry had to concentrate not just to listen, but to hold himself back.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Don’t I?” 

You kept moving forward until you were toe to toe with Henry.

“Tell me all your thoughts. Even the naughty ones. Especially the naughty ones. I wanna know what goes on in that head…”

You reached up on tip toes and ran your fingers through his hair, brushing the curls back that had fallen into his face.

Henry grabbed you by the waist and pulled you flush to him, so that you could feel his burgeoning erection.

“I’ve got to kiss you first.”

And he did.

His lips pressed against yours, lightly, rubbing across yours, then he opened his mouth and his tongue tipped out and traced your cupid’s bow. Then he took your bottom lip and nipped lightly, causing you to gasp and as you did so, he claimed your mouth. He suckled your tongue, ruining your panties as his hands slipped down and grabbed your ass. You were breathless as he pulled away. 

You looked up into his hungry eyes as they blazed blue fire.

“I think about that. Kissing those lips, feeling this beautiful body. I think about your breasts, what color your areolas, how they would taste. I dream about how your ass would feel. I think about lying between these thighs and having you sit on my face. God, Y/N…”

His long fingers squeezed your bottom and pulled your cheeks apart. The sound and feel of your wetness set Henry’s soul on fire. You whimpered in his clutches.

“Is it possible that you want me as much as I want you?”

Henry tried to peer into your soul.

“If not, tell me now, and I will not bother you again. But if there is some chance…. by God, I want you, Y/N….”

“Henry I…” 

He was waiting for word from you. You moved your hands from Henry’s chest down to his cock, which was large and throbbing between you.

“Henry, I want you too.”

“So you want to do this? With me?”

“Exactly how much more hinting do I have to do? Fuck me, Sir.”

Henry smiled as he hauled you backward into his room. He sat down on the bed and you climbed up onto his lap, grinding together through your night clothes as he pulled your hair back and attacked your neck with kisses and bites. His other hand went up your shirt to weigh your breast and roll and pinch your nipple.

He bared his teeth in enjoyment as you squirmed on him.

“So so reactive for me, does that feel good, yeah?”

You panted and nodded yes, caught up in the energy of the moment.

He slapped your nipple hard. You keened and shouted, “Yes, oh yesssss.”

You felt his cock throb.

“Just as I thought. You’re a naughty little girl. My naughty little girl now…”

Henry dipped below your t-shirt and started sucking your nipple hard and nipping at it as you desperately tried to find friction on your clit. You hastily pulled off your shirt, then tried to put your hand down your pants.

“Ah ah ah. Don’t touch.”

Henry captured your hand and bent it behind your back, bending you backward as he turned around and deposited you on your back. 

“So so beautiful.”

He bent over you and ran first his hands, then his lips and then his tongue over your areolas, grinding into you again. Your legs bent around him, trying to lock him into the friction against your nub. Your whines got to him and you watched as he took off his shirt.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?”

“Need you, Henry.”

“Need you too, love. I’ve been waiting for this for years.”

You reached for his pants.

“Give it to me, Sir. Please Sir, Please.”

“Fuck. You sure you want it?”

You started rolling your own nipples and you arched your back as you let your legs fall apart.

“Most definitely. Sir.”

Henry’s eyes were mesmerized, drawn to your core and your weeping, wet cunt. He automatically pulled down his pants and his huge thick cock slapped him on his stomach.

“I am so weak for you.”

You wanted him even weaker so you sat up and tested his weight in your palm. You looked up at him as you wet your lips.

“Wanna taste you. Can I, Your Grace?”

You pecked his dripping tip and let the string of precum stretch to your lips from the head of him as you gently played with his balls. Henry’s voice was impossibly deeper now.

“You may…ughhhhhhhh.”

You slipped your lips around him and drew him into your mouth, using your tongue to circumnavigate him. You had to hinge your mouth open wide to take his girth. You knew your jaw was going to be sore in the morning.

“Naughty, sweet naughty girl. Do you like to get your face fucked? Oooohhh, fuuuck!”

Henry’s hips started moving as his fingers pulled your nipples.

“I wanted the first time to be sweet and tender, but you… you are better than my wildest dreams. And I do mean wild.” 

Henry fisted your hair and held you to him, forcing your throat open with his thick member and causing you to gag. After a few seconds, he let go, but you stayed down, causing him to curse.

“Bloody hell, you’re going to make me cum down your throat.”

“Ummmm hmmmm.” 

You answered as you pulled off, messy with spit and pre cum. Henry’s eyes were alight as he bent down to grab your thighs and toss you back on the bed.

“You’re trying to get properly fucked, but I need to taste you first.”

He lay down beside you and grabbed you again, palming your ass in his hands as he maneuvered your legs around his shoulders. His hands were your seat as he prepared to eat you like some decadent fruit. He brought you to his mouth and his eyes watched you as he tasted you. They rolled back as if in rapture and he dove in, fully suckling and laving you.

Henry stopped long enough to say, “Sit down!” because you were trying not to put your full weight on him.

When he pulled you down on his face, his tongue went deep inside you as he nibbled at your clit. His tongue was so skillful that your legs drew up around his head and your thighs started shaking. 

You pulled at his hair and started begging.

“Stop, please stop. Henry. Sir. I’m gonna… I’m… ahhhhh!”

When you came, and released into his mouth, you tried to climb off of him, but he held you fast, eyes dark with warning.

When he came up for air, Henry grinned at you.

“Now’s the time to split you open, Love.”

He literally grabbed you and positioned you above his pelvis. You knew what to do from there and you watched as he positioned himself so that you could slide down around him. You looked up at him as you bend your thighs so that his tip could breach your entrance.

“You feel as good as you taste.” 

Licked his lips as you slid down around him slowly, his thick cock difficult to take. The stretch almost took you out, but your wetness helped you out. You felt unimaginably filled to the brim with Sir Henry Cavill.

“So fucking tiny, Love. You feel so good, my naughty little girl.”

You whimpered as you stayed still to adjust to him, and as you grabbed his hand to feel himself inside your abdomen. His eyes got wide.

“Such a tight fit. D’you feel me? Feel me inside there?”

His cock throbbed and he started to move a little, eyes dilating as you winced.

“Does it hurt, Love?”

“Y-y-es Sir. Only a little.” 

You bit your lip as Henry spit on his thumb and started working your clit.

“Don’t worry, Love. I’ll make it feel better.’

“Hnnnghhhh. Ohhhh!”

Your back bowed as Henry pistoned inside you, and the pain turned to pure pleasure. Henry sat up and held your arms behind your back with one hand, and man handled your breast with the other. He suckled your nipple through his fingers and then gave you a filthy kiss.

“Do you want to be mine?”

“Hnnnhhh. Yes. Yes. Sir.”

“Good girl. You know what to say already.” 

He gave you a sweet peck on your lips as he pinches your nipple. Hard. That caused you to shatter, and you came around his cock.

Henry looked down.

“Look at that cunt. Pulling me in so greedily.”

He looked back up at you.

“Look at your face. So Lovely with it all fucked out.”

You were lost in his eyes as he rotated so that your back was on the bed.

“Need you to cum Sir. Job’s not done.”

“Your wish is my command. Tonight. But I will demonstrate to you who your Lord is later on.”

And Henry started to pull out, stopping just in time to save your sanity as you were ready to fight if he left you right now. He hiked your leg around his waist as he delivered powerful thrusts to seat himself deep inside you.

“I wanted to be gentle, but no. You pull this primal nature out of me. I can’t be polite.”

“I wouldn’t want you to be, Sir. Be yourself. Give me yourself. Take me.”

Henry grunted and suckled your collarbone, sure to leave a mark as he pumped sloppily into you.

“Cum again…”

You obeyed his command as he reached between you and thrummed your clit. You detonated just before he did and you both came back together in each other’s arms, sweaty and out of breath.

You stared at him as if he weren’t real.

“What’s wrong, Love?”

“I now know the meaning of Happy Christmas.”

Henry smiled and kissed your forehead.

“It is a happy Christmas, indeed.”

Reblog = Love

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Origin of the Hollywood Hullabaloos Biker Gang

A Sarge & lil Mama Oral History (Elvis Presley fanfiction)

NOTE: Below are excerpts from Chapter Nine of the “Presley��s Remembered”, a project taken on by the youngest of Elvis and Elaine’s children, compiling interviews, recollections and anecdotes of their famous parents from the early days of their marriage till their late father’s death. In some instances the children interviewed the friends and acquaintances themselves, in other cases they utilized published memoirs and diaries, as well as interviews given on talk shows, radio and to official biographers. The sentiments below are included for their reminiscent value, they do not reflect the opinions or convictions of the Presley family, nor their endorsement as a perfectly accurate portrait of a very public family whose most private motivations were known to them and them alone.

Warnings: PG-13 at the worst? hinted mention of infidelity, the mob, cuckolding bets and a sickening amount of fluff

Billy Smith (cousin): There was this idea, Elvis pitched it to us but I’m pretty sure it was Elaine’s idea but, anyway, the idea was to start a motorcycle club, right? Like, that’s, that’s all there was to it, which sounds silly now in retrospect because it became such a, well, such a big thing ya know? But initially it was just Elvis Presley standing in his backyard in LA saying: “what if we made a bike club and only invited people we like?” And of course everyone immediately became supportive and worked really hard to be likable, you know, to guarantee an invite to be a member. A member of this club that didn’t even exist yet.

Red West (entourage): Oh yeah the bike club. You know how that started, right? It was nothin, I mean -nothin! Elaine and Thumper were already bikin’ through the Hollywood hills, down the canyons and all that whenever Elaine was in town. It’s what they did when Elvis wasn’t home and Elaine wasn’t on set with him. Sidecars and the crowd of kids strapped in and just crusin’. Probably kept the woman sane havin’ somethin’ she could sorta do on her own, get the uh, uh, ya know the uh, -any disgruntlement out. But it became pretty obvious Elvis wanted in on it. He got so excited by this idea Elaine had of him startin’ a whole club, and I remember he came tearing into the den at Hillcrest house to tell Elaine about it and, uh, Elizabeth was there, and uh, Elaine she, she listened to him real patient and animated like always -she always was that way for him you know, humoring him I think- and after he finished with all the details she just said, “that’s brilliant E!” and told him they oughta invest in, in uh, in some specialized leathers if they were gonna do it properly. And he said side cars for the babies too, like that was new, and she said “of course” and then you’ve EP tearing back outside to get the stuff ordered. And let me tell you, he was on cloud nine till he called Ann to tell her about it, and instead of the, the, the excitement, I guess, that he was expecting from her too, she was really miffed. Ann kept saying she and Elaine already had that and he needed to find another hobby. It was like stickin’ a pin in a balloon, man, it went from the only thing he cared about to being worth nothin’. Took Elaine like, like a week or more to build him back up. Those days they, they were kinda rough on him, little things really hit him hard at that time. Elaine -she was the only one to realize how, fragile I guess, fragile he was. Yeah. But of course, in the end, she cheered him up and now ya have the Hollywood Hullabaloo Club and it’s legendary.

Ann-Margret (co-star): Well now, I don’t want to overstep, overshare anything but you are right, it was very private at first, just me and Elaine going on joyrides with the kids. The kids got a little stir crazy in LA, more than they did in Memphis, you see. Elaine was very conscious that they needed to get out and be outside and there were concerns that in LA it wasn’t as safe for them to do so. So she had these custom made sidecars -trailers, is what they really were- and we’d pile them in and go out into the hills or sometimes south to the desert and just, get some sunshine and some wind in our faces. It was very special to me, that companionship with her, I felt it was very -healing, for the both of us. And I think, well, I believe it helped me feel forgiven. That she would share that -share herself- with me, and I found myself seeking her company more and more. Elaine was really a wonderful person to enjoy things with, she didn’t have to say a lot but you were never in doubt about whether she was engaged or not, she was always engaged. In the smaller things just as much as the large, and those rides were really simple and joyous, and I was a little selfish, I suppose, about them. She was very much herself on them, she was doing them for her own enjoyment, her children’s, it was one of the few times I saw her be abrupt with photographers or even fans. She really carved out that time for enjoyment and I had seen that, recognized that. But since I didn’t have the tact that she had, I just went ahead and told Elvis that those were special to her. And I guess that suggested his addition would detract from that, because it would, it would have suddenly made it more -in a bad way. I think he knew how much she gave to him, how much of herself, and how much she allowed him to have his own things and not encroach, she was so rarely jealous, really seemed to understand he was a force of nature and one person couldn’t hold all that attention. So I think he wasn’t so much sulking over not being wanted, as he was struggling with trying to mimic her, and be ok with her having her own thing. And he just wasn’t built like that, he needed all of her most of the time, and that’s just, that’s just how it was.

Jerry Schilling (entourage): first off I had to find someone who would make those massive pull behind wagons for the kids. And they had to be real safe, obviously, and it was a feat of engineering, Elaine designing them and making them exist. I’ve never seen Elaine throw money at something like she did those side cars. That’s not including the legal bribes either. And those ones lasted for about five whole months and then EP up and says it’s gonna be a whole gang and there’s gotta be more. This time lots of little side cars instead of the two large ones that Miss Ann and Miss Elaine were using before. So, with the bike club they just sorta divvied the kids up between everyone and there were some of the folks like the Cooke’s who had kids of their own. So it was a big production but the end product was such a blast, it was worth it. I mean it just went to show that EP really didn’t want to do much of anything without hauling his family along, just wasn’t compelling to him without them. And the gang grew from there.

Barbara Stanwyck (co-star): Oh god, the Hollywood Hullabaloo -god those were good times. It got to where I used to look forward to the parties and the dinners, because those Presley’s were masters at hospitality, but the biker gang? Oh that was madness and the most childish thing I’d engaged in -in forever. I didn’t have much of a childhood, been on the grind since 13, and the idea of having something so silly and fun and wholesome and just doing it, appearances and logistics be damned? God that was, that was everything and I know I wasn’t the only one who went in a little timid and then became rabidly devoted to our group. Hollywood’s culture was changing back then, and there were lots of rivalries and splits between the old guard and the new and serious actors and entertainers and it could all get a little mean and sore. But in the bike club? All that went away, you were with people and it humanized your rivals and your exs and turned you all into kids for a minute. I know a lot of rifts got healed through that, just as many wrecks of motorbikes happened too, but I’d say it was worth it.

Elaine Presley (when asked by her daughter): it was on the set of Roustabout, I believe, when Barbara piped up and told Elvis she knew how to ride. There was this brief break between filming one day and you should have seen how fast he tossed her onto his bike and drove off to prove it. Giddy in a cloud of dust and the whole movie set squawking about when they’d be back. She handled it like a champ, and I made a metal note she was gonna be invited, I could tell by his face that she was the sort we were looking for

Marlon Brando (actor): Hollywood can get so insular, so claustrophobic with all these cliques and pretentiousness and such. Drains your life away, and in between projects that can be a very down time. I was contemplating not even staying in the city for breaks when I heard about this lady who had succeeded at making a judge pass a law legalizing these motorcycle carriages. It was so she could bike with her kids. All five or six of them. A lotta kids. And my first thought was: she is either the worst mother or the most devoted one on earth. And I was curious about the mechanics of it. And so I asked around and heard from Sinatra that it was Elvis Presley’s wife. Which made sense, that’s where the money to throw at judges came from but I’d never heard anything that gutsy about her before that. I mean really, there were the rumors about Cooke but that was the usual shit. By far, the most I heard about her was the betting pool at the Coconut Grove where they had a pool over who could cuckold Elvis Presley first. And other than that, it sounded like she was good at making bacon and babies, right? I had this opinion of them (the Presley’s) that they had no idea what they were in for in this town. There was this contempt and lecherous fascination everyone in the industry had for them -and they were so generous and gracious about it. I really had some contempt for them, for what I thought was their naïveté. Until the thing about the bike carriage. I realized that Mrs Presley must’ve been sorta ingenious, or else hired someone clever, and I sure wished I had a mother who cared to take me along like that, you know? I just kept thinking of those carriages, kept thinking how it had to be an avid motorcycle fanatic to design them and so I stopped by the shop that made them. Asked who designed them. They said Elaine Presley. I went to Hillcrest House. I wanted to meet someone who liked motorcycles and kids that much. I mean, she had to be a good sort of person with those interests, right? Course then it was, it was like meeting human sunshine. Heavily pregnant sunshine. Elaine showed me around the garage, or the kids did is more like what happened, gave me a tour and she said how her husband would be bummed he wasn’t there to meet me. And I didn’t mind him, I mean I would have liked to meet him, and sure there’d been the business of Rita and him before the marriage. But that was water under the bridge, she’d used him to make me jealous, all there was to it. She said he was sweet, actually that’s my word. Boring is the word by Rita used. It had me thinking about him back then, it’s like, shit, he was a baby, you know? And the women they ate him up, used him like Rita did, used him like a bull. Made sense why he wanted to be married so bad, have someone who wasn’t in it to eat him up. But uh, my interest was in the woman who made those sidecars. In parting Elaine said I was welcome to swing by again, that I really had to meet “her boy”. I realized she meant Elvis Presley, he was her boy, and that made sense. That's how it felt it should be. So I ended up opening my big mouth and assuring this sweet girl I’d swing by again in a day or two. And of course all the kids watching me swear to their mother, I had to come back. That’s how I came to be -embroiled- in the scheme.

Lamar Fike (entourage): Yeah, yeah she’d be puttering around in the garage a lotta afternoons, before dinner but after the market and sports games. She’d be under a bike or two and the kids would be passing her wrenches and she’d be drilling them on their times tables. Homeshcoolin’ ‘em while changin’ oil, it was the craziest, loveliest thing I’d ever seen. Course the kids were so responsive to it, she’d give ‘em little rewards when they got numbers right, let ‘em tighten a screw or whatever. And it taught ‘em a lot about life and putting in the work for all the fun they then went and had on the road with their mama and Thumper. They saw her getting dirty and frustrated sure, they also saw her stick with it, finish a job. And keep coming back even though she coulda passed it onto me or anyone else. And yeah, sometimes EP would come home from the studio a little early and find her out there and he’d just lay down right next to her, get his nice Hollywood clothes all filthy, passin’ her stuff and askin the kids ‘bout their day. Course then the kids they’d go through the times tables or the spelling or everything all over again, whatever she’d had ‘em just rehearse and whatever they were whining about doin’ with her they’d get all excited to show him. The progress that they had made, they liked showin off for him. He liked workin’ out there with her, so much so sometimes you’d have to leave ‘em be, clear the garage out, ya know. He found that attractive about her, the kerchief in her hair and the grease and shit, he didn’t mind, probably got in trouble for ruinin’ his clothes but he liked playing with her like that. He liked her like that. And yeah, one day Marlon Brando just sauntered through, pulled along by young Jesse who was showin’ him everything and Elaine really actin’ sorta star struck. She wagged her finger at me when escorting him out, I remember she said “don’t you tell on me, Lamar!” -and I thought it was the cutest thing as all she’d done was be nice to him, she was just real loyal and scared of hurtin’ EP. Course they all became friends later.

Ann-Margret (co-star): The angriest I’d ever seen Elaine was after my phone call with Elvis. She actually drove to my house in her rare spare time and to use an Elvis' turn of phrase, she lit into me. She said I was really insensitive and stupid for discouraging him about the club and that I’d made him feel burdensome and like she, Elaine, was trying to get away from him in the few days he had to be with them. Which we both knew I hadn’t meant it that way, but of course that’s how he took it and she had a right to be mad. I just didn’t expect her to be as angry as she was. I truly hadn’t seen her temper to that degree, had once doubted its existence. She was very even keeled about annoying or hurtful things, I mean she found out about the affair and just sorta shrugged, for god's sake. I thought that would be the ultimate test. But no, no this is what sent her fury skyrocketing, she really was so sensitive to him being wanted by them and never feeling like he crashed in on his own family when he came back. Even though that’s exactly what he did. He was a huge disruption every time he returned but that’s not how husbands should be, that’s now how homelife is done, so she simply forbade it from being taken that way. And I realized then just how much she loved him, not only would she give up every shred of indepence for him, she told me that if I ever slipped up like that again and made him feel unwanted by either of us, she’d make sure I never saw them again, or could ever even get in contact. I remember really thinking she was gonna jam the firepower up my tush a few times that conversation. It was like a Chanel No. 5 scented tornado and it shook me up good. I never tried to stick up for Elaine Presley again, she said she could do it herself, so I let her. Before the month was out, there was a biker gang and we had matching leathers and a name and over a dozen new additions. There was nothing serene about those rides ever again, but it pulled Elvis out of a terrible funk that I blamed him for, and she didn’t. And that was the difference. She just changed the atmosphere till Elvis Presley could glow again, whatever it took. For the mid 60’s it was the Hollywood Hullabaloos and she invented them for him.

Red West (entourage): Ok but you know why she did it, right? Elaine liked it quiet and she liked it all small and private but she knew with EP wanting in that she couldn’t let Marlon Brando into the girl gang and not her husband, right? Like, she knew that. It was so funny the night she told him at dinner that Brando had come to the house and she’s all “actually it was me he wanted to see” and EP is like an excited puppy all wanting details and he got about fit to burst with excitement over the idea of Brando joining the gang and then it was like, a switch went off in his brain. He went all pale and quiet, smile went away. You could tell he was visualizing his wife on a bike with Marlon Brando. I thought he’d break the table top he got so angry by this mental image he hadn’t even admitted to. It was hilarious. And Elaine you know, she never argued with him. He was so jealous of her, and she never argued like a lotta broads would have. He would be irrational and she’d say “ok”. Then suggest a loophole. Always worked, and the loophole was him bein’ in too. Startin’ a whole gang. Thumper hated the idea, told EP the same and it deflated him, man. But I’m tellin’ ya, Elaine knew if she was going to get what she wanted then she had to bring him along, let him in on the action when he was on his free time. Became a big ole deal after that, remembered as his bike club and stuff, but nobody remembers it was ‘cause Elaine Presley was a clever broad and wanted to go riding with her friends.

Elizabeth Mansfield (family friend): We were at the table and after his initial excitement you could see Elvis pondering the logistics of Marlon Brando taking a liking to his wife and right about when he started to idly push his food around on his plate Elaine pipes up casually and says “his voice is sorta annoying, though.” and Elvis snaps “whose?” and Elaine goes “Mr. Brando’s! His voice doesn’t seem to match the rest of him. But I guess I’m spoiled.” The rest of the dinner was spent with Elvis defending Brando’s dialect.

Jerry Schilling (entourage): ok, no, no it wasn’t just sidecars ok? This was an entire procession of bikes and trailers and stuff, eventually we’d take these massive packed dinners Elaine prepared ahead of time and we’d have the most luxurious picnics and bbqs up in the hills and sometimes there was even camping overnight, if enough of the security made it with us. Elvis and Elaine had already done a lot of riding up there themselves, just goin’ on dates up there long before Thumper and Elaine took to it when he was gone, so E and E, they had all these areas scouted out and would even say this area is good for camping or this one’s got a creek or there’s a good tree to relieve yourself behind. Course with how all over each other they always were, we used to joke there wasn’t much country around that they probably hadn’t used for coupling. Every tree ya pissed against ya had to wonder if it’d seen action.

Barbra Cooke Womack (wife of Sam Cooke): Some of my last, carefree memories of Sam before his death were from that summer when they started the Hullabaloos. We weren’t really good bikers, Sam collected cars, that was his hobby, but being a biker wasn’t the chief requirement for the gang. If you were bad at biking they gave you a helmet and called it a day. Elvis would say “you know where the accelerator is right?” and Sam would shoot back “It’s the break I’m worried about” and Presley would say “that’s no way to live”, and Sam would laugh and that’s the sorta attitude they were looking for. Had to be carefree. And really, it pulled Sam and I outta the depression we’d been in after the loss of our son. (Mr. and Mrs. Cooke’s two year old son drowned in their swimming pool the previous year.) Elaine’s still got a picture hung at Graceland of her and Sam and Elvis and Anne all jiving on a plank of plywood. They’d have these dance offs and the kids were judges, and they’d dance it out on this minuscule square of wood that they hauled up for the grill. Because yes, they hauled a grill up into the hills. Yeah, anyway, one of my favorite pictures is that one, the two teams facing off, Sam and Elaine versus Elvis and Ann, and behind them our daughter Andrea and their girl Ella putting on their best juror faces. Good times.

Ella Presley (daughter): Yes, Andrea and I, with Barbra (Stanwyck) sometimes advising us in matters of technical form, would judge these contests very seriously. Very serious business I’ll have you know, really, really took it gravely. And the parents, they tried to keep it serious for us, that is, as long as possible. Then it would just turn into all out jollification and everyone would start grooving.

Ann-Margret (co-star): they’d be blaring Solomon Burke and Chuck Berry and Otis, we’d get down to anything with a beat, and invariably the kids would end up joining in. Or Elvis would forget he was supposed to be facing off against Elaine and just end up cuddling up to the competition. Like, hey man we have high stakes here, burgers are at stake!

Marlon Brando: What was that -the uh, the Chuck Berry song, Elvis would always grab her and they’d just start swiveling together in perfect unison, ‘most playfully erotic thing I’d ever seen against the glow of a sunset on the hills. The kids were used to it. H-how’s it go? Something uh, something like uh-

Daisy Mae Presley (daughter): Mhmm, yeah, a staple was “You Never Can Tell” by Chuck Berry and daddy loved grabbing mama and acting it out. They weren’t broke teenagers when they married but he was obviously trying to relate to it.

Marlon Brando: uh, how’s it go, it’s uh, uh, (sings mumbling) “It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished ‘em well,”…yeah, that one. Swiveling, the both of em, in the middle of the campsite. A free show, it was crazy.

Ella Presley (daughter): Jesse and I had some tournaments too, later on. And there was wrestling as well, I remember daddy would get into it with anyone, and then all the kids versus him and Jerry or him and Marlon. Just dancing was something the family did, came natural, that urge to move. Something about a bonfire and twilight brings it out of anyone I think, twilight -you could be anywhere at twilight. You can go back home in your mind.

Jackson Presley (second son): Actually, come to think of it, I’m pretty confident my first memory was sitting on a bike. In mama’s lap, had to be, and looking up at this rustling blob of pink. I later learned the blob was a massive bougainvillea vine and my dad was trying to climb the thorny thing to get back one of my sisters' hair bows. What? Oh, no, I-I don’t know if he was successful. The thorns make me doubt it but, he was stubborn ya know, so if he hadn’t gotten it I bet we’d still be there. So yes, I guess.

Marlon Brando (actor): I ended up liking Elvis, and Elvis’ family, infinitely more than I uh, I anticipated. Not really news is it? (chuckles) I did swing back by Hillcrest House and I got fed the best meal of my life and I got to watch the kids all interacting and I got to watch this famous couple interacting, and something about it really satisfied me. It was holy chaos everywhere, all the time, with a center of peacefulness at its core. Those were genuine, happy times, everyone was still putting effort into being a unit, in their family. Really the glory days of Elaine’s showmanship of you're going to base your judgments about motherhood on the children’s presentation and mental well being. I think if she got a medal, it should be for what she did in the 70’s, to hold them all together, but if you’re thinking of what is now remembered as that classic family, those were the years. Picture perfect, even when you got on the inside, and I wanted inside. You bet I did. Probably because there was always this wicked little undercurrent to keep things interesting, to keep that marriage’s integrity. I saw that, and I liked it. They were best friends, Elvis and Elaine, and the camaraderie floated down to their kids and to the rest of the gang. And I kept coming back for more. And soon I found myself and my precious bike saddled with a sidecar and a Presley child in it, spending my Los Angeles autumn’s getting a sore back from camping on the ground. No one else coulda made me do that, you’d have to pay me and even then, I dunno. But I did it for free, gave my free labor even, over five years, whenever they were in town.

Daisy Mae Presley (daughter): I got Marlon, always. Or almost always. Probably demanded him and raised hell unless I got him, I just really liked his personality. Everyone in the Memphis Mafia was so scared of pissing daddy off by somehow risking us or hurting us, God forbid. So they always drove like pussies when they had us, and there was no fun in that. And Rosalee was always a scaredy cat, so she was with daddy and I got Marlon. Used to ribb Rosalee about how daddy drove like a maniac and so she was always choosing the scariest ride but she always insisted she felt safer with him. And of course she was. We all were. I just didn’t care for safe, ha. Of course, now it’s notorious that a monster joined and was carting Jesse around for a whole summer before we learned he was Nevada Cost Nostra.

Elaine Presley (being asked by a reporter on the street): There were never mobsters in the bike club, Mr. Corleone himself owned nightclubs and his methods were unorthodox, that’s it. He was an entrepreneur. I met his wife once. I don’t I trust my children to mobster or thugs

Daisy Mae (daughter): He was totally a mafia guy. Like a real Italian mafia guy. He helped mama with the FBI wire taps at Graceland for the divorce case, his level of contacts were insane. Oh I…maybe I shouldn’t of said that I-

Marlon Brando (actor): Daisy was a unique kid even back then, never fit in with her sisters, acted like one of the brothers and was fearless. Pretty obsessed with her dad’s attention even back then, but she was always trying to earn it by being a daredevil just like him. It took about two years but once he realized I’d rather die than hurt one of his kids, Elvis gave the go ahead and Daisy and me, we’d take jumps and go over the dunes, catching some much air. The hypocrite was already doing it himself with Rosalee in the sidecar the whole time. But hey, he -he was protective, and the kids knew they were special, loved, all ya can ask for as a kid. That, and uh, that and your own motorcycle chauffeur, I guess.

Ella Presley (daughter): We knew things had really changed when it went from family drives and Mama and Tamale (the nickname the Presley children gave to Ann Margaret) taking us out, to daddy piling us all in the caddy and taking us to get leathers made. We had gear before, mama used to pack us in so well that we’d probably have survived a nuclear attack besides a wreck. (laughs) But yes, we got to stylize our own helmets. I got a plain black one and brought it back and painted it, because that’s what mama did with hers. Mine had like this flower crown of pink flowers on black, very hippy, according to Daddy. I was six, ok! And there wasn’t some gritty aspect to motorcycles in my mind, I’d grown up seeing mama on them in her skirts and lipstick, jewels hanging onto her ears for dear life when she picked up speed. A painted flower crown on my helmet seemed very fitting to me, alright? Give me some slack here.

Daisy Mae (daughter): Ella really had no idea about being badass and all that biker stuff that I don’t ever remember even talking to Marlon about but, sorta like osmosis, I got the general vibe that we were hot stuff. At five years old. (Rolls her eyes) But Ella, Ella was all pink and black like mama. And daddy was cooing and thinking it was the cutest thing. Then, then daddy had mama’s leather pants monogrammed. And Ella wanted that too. He melted on the floor in horror when she asked.

Barbara Stanwyck (co-star): so when this thing got serious, really got off the ground, that whole family turned out looking sharper and more coordinated than the Von Trapps. A lot groovier, too. And then came the kicker, Elaine had these leather trousers that, being Elaine, they looked phenomenal on her stems, and a cheeky EP monogrammed on the back pockets. Picture it. An initial per ass cheek, dark pink on black. Looked like a spanked butt, and of course her husband loved it, I’ve never seen him take such public appreciation for vulgarity on her like that, but who can blame him? You’ve seen the pictures, she’s scorching hot in them, and they’d save her from roadburn so, all was good. Till Miss Ella pipes up and says she wants some, too.

Ann-Margret (co-star): Always like mama that one, and watching and imitating her to a Tee. And most of the time it pleased Elvis endlessly, but this time, you could see him connecting the dots of his little girl being just like her mama who was his wife who he was so rabidly hungry for. And he barked that no way in hell could she get those leathers. And of course the poor little dear had no idea where she’d gone wrong. So he immediately chased her as she ran upstairs crying, making amends by helping her repaint the sidecar to look exactly like her mama’s bike. But no monogrammed leathers.

Billy Smith (cousin): EP got me this gorgeous, macho beauty of a motor, all bronze and black and masculine. And I couldn’t wait to take it for a spin up in the hills, outrace ‘em all. Then the day of the first outing I went outside and saw I got saddled with a pink and black little sidecar hooked up to my bike and just like that, my Isle of Man dreams were over.

Marlon Brando (actor): I got pretty excited about this, uh, this whole thing, I was itchin’ to go. Didn’t get what all the fuss was about. I’d seen Elvis hanging around the house, I could see Elvis going a million miles a minute wanting to get on with it but then he’d have to have it picture perfect, so the outing would get canceled till the cars got swapped with the bikes till they matched, the colors, the aesthetic had to please him and it would take a big reshuffle and -all that. I got pretty sick of it, like -when’s this gonna begin? Day before we had been almost ready, then someone forgot the gramophone and that caused a lotta commotion and by the time it was solved the rain had come. So the next morning, we swear we are all going, hell or high water. It’s happening, we were all burned out on making it perfect, just wanted to joy ride, right?

Barbara Stanwyck (co-star): I’ll never forget that morning everyone was loading up and mounting their bikes and Elvis pauses by Marlon’s and starts showing this funny look on his face the longer he inspects the sidecar and Marlon’s bike.

Ann-Margret (co-star): I saw him reach out his hand and sorta thumb at the orange stripe on Marlon’s fender, it didn’t go with Daisy’s purple sidecar, you see.

Barbara Stanwyck (co-star): and then Marlon, in a voice he usually saved for the stage snarled- “leave Papa’s bike alone, Mopey” and Elvis just -obeyed. It was the funniest thing ever, he used Elaine’s nickname for him and Elvis didn’t bat an eye.

Ann Margaret (co-star): E clutched his hand to his chest like he’d been burned by the metal and went and got on his bike without another word. We actually made it out of the gates that day. The rest was history.

Finis~

Thank y’all so much for reading! This was an entirely new style of storytelling for me and I’d really love to hear your thoughts and get your suggestions if there are other topics you think might be interesting to be explored in this way. My very big thanks for sweet Christi for holding my hand through this and giving her feedback.

One of the things that interests me with this whole series is painting a dichotomy between the vulnerable and intimate voyeurism we get to experience with the one shots, verses how this couple is perceived by their associates and the world at large. It just makes it more real for me and I hope it did for you.

Also, as a side note, you may have noticed I tried to keep some of these individuals as rather unreliable narrators, their prejudices or existing recollections of Elvis’ real life being a bit… biased… one way or the other. I suppose I keep outing myself on who I’m not fond of in the MM. oops

Xoxoxo 🌹 Marina

@paradsol000

@eliseinmemphis

@prompted-wordsmith

@ab4eva

@foreverdolly

@powerofelvis

@butlersxbirdy

@crash-and-cure

@elvisabutler

@heartbrake-hotel

@stylespresleyhearted

@thatbanditqueen

@crazymadpassionatelove

@myradiaz

@ash-omalley

@whatstruthgottadowithit

@arianatheangelgirl

@steph-speaks

@burningloverdoll

@angelface-555

@lookingforrainbows

@missmaywemeetagain

@coolgirl462

@kingdomforapony

@18lkpeters

@richardslady121

@from-memphis-with-love

@lillypink

@artlover8992

@pennyroyalcreep

@notstefaniepresley

@ellie-24

@renaissingle

@waiting4brucewayne2adoptme

@presleyenterprise

[gx-gameon]

Okay but Aknamkanon being involved in Jaden’s school life sounds hilarious.

I am picturing Jaden setting up a small shrine for his grandpa and the others in the Field of Reeds in the Slifer Duel Arena/Dojo (later moving it to the lounge area Chazz builds). He talks to it when he feels like he needs to talk out a problem he feels is too awkward to ask his parents or living family members. Others start doing it too because of homesickness or not having a good relationship with their parents.

Aknamkanon wants to show support to Jaden and his friends but he isn’t in the position to give out old people candy. Instead, he sends cards.

Alexis: Check these out!

Zane: Alexis, what are those?

Alexis: They are called Dryton. It’s a Ritual based archetype that came with some good support! Jaden’s grandfather gave them to me!

Zane: Jaden’s dead grandfather gave you an entire deck of ritual monsters plus support because you talked to his memorial?

Alexis: I’m keeping them. Even if I can’t find a way to use half of them, I’m keeping them.

I do love this, I don’t think it’s cannon but I do love this.

Jaden having to explain who the shrine is to without saying. “My grandfather who is also an ancient pharaoh.”

I know I joked about him having powers but I don’t think Aknamkanon would have any big influence. But sending cards is amazing. He’s putting that spiritual court to work!! Getting them to find duel spirit archetypes and being like “so theirs a kid I think you would work really well with.”

I also love that Jaden just goes and tells his grandfather all of his problems. He probably grew up going to Solomon whenever he didn’t want to go to his dads or uncles/aunts but now being away at duel academy he doesn’t want to call Solomon and start a whole hullabaloo. So he talks to the grandfather who can’t gossip with the rest of the family.

Little monster spirits always find there way to Jaden after one of those talks. Just little cuddly guys that aren’t great in a duel but great for cuddling in the dream scape.

Jaden’s friends see Jaden talking to his grandfather and just assume they were really close and Jaden always talks about how nice it is to just get things done off his chest and talk to someone he knows is listening.

And one day Syrus is really stressed about a test and he’s pacing the room and then he spots the shrine. What harm could it do. He ends up talking to the shrine and then having a full break down about all of his fears and insecurities to Jaden’s dead grandfather. Jaden’s right it is nice to just let it all out. But he doesn’t think anyone is listening until a new Roid car appears. One with the exact ability he needs to pass his practical exam. He hadn’t told anyone about needing this except the shrine.

He tells everyone. ‘Jaden’s grandfather was listening and he sent me this card’

Slowly other members of the group start to talk to Aknamkanon. It’s starts as superstition and prayers for exams but then Chazz finally talks to him and tells him all about his brothers who are being real big jerks right now. He just lets it all out. Everything he doesn’t want to tell his friends. He wakes up the next morning to a brand new deck with a new archetype. Is this what having a grandfather is like????

Yes what you wrote about Alexis absolutely happened. ‘Look at my new cards Zane!!!’ Zane thinks they are all crazy but a chance for new cards isn’t one he’s going to pass up.

It’s tradition by the time the second year rolls around. If you just need to vent and feel like a family member cares you go to sit at Jaden’s Grandfather’s shrine.

Aknamkanon loves it. He has so many new grandchildren. Of course Jaden is the favorite. He is the unmovable first place. But his friends definitely get spiritually adopted

[sg-the-mag-by]

My brain just lit up like a Homewarming tree with Sally perched on top! Everybody, hopefully, remembers the hidden caterpillar on the Welcome Home Site(I don't remember the exact page but it was a blue caterpillar on a leaf with three eyes, or at least two real eyes) and that takes you to the video of Howdy telling Barnaby and Wally about how some of his siblings were having trouble with their cousin Henry and that he needed to go to their Aunt Molly so she could set him right, for whatever he was doing that was causing distress in the Pillar family. Now, in the Homewarming update we got some more of Howdy's family members, though their names weren't what we were expecting. One of those names was for Howdy's Cousin Skedaddle, who clearly is a surfer dude beatnik type. So I'm sure you all get where I'm going but I'll add a little more to this theory stew I'm brewing. When you go the transcripts for Howdy's Holiday Hullabaloo and you read where Gam Gam Sally Tations enters, right by her name(and I HOPE it is still there) is the name Holly. Now I STRESS it is a name because it is capitalized. AS SOON as I saw this and really as soon as I heard everyone's names be greetings of some sort or statements(like Latter's name) I knew something was up. So if Holly is actually Gam Gam's real first name then who's to say all the other family members we meant don't have different names too? Like the only named cousin showing up, who seems to have a different way of thinking things that Howdy and his Siblings don't really understand, who was sent TO AN AUNT of theirs, yeah. Skedaddle's REAL name is Henry and possibly Aunt Toodaloo is Actually Wooly Aunt Molly. And how that I think about it, Skedaddle LOOKS like he'd be a Henry but would probably go by other names too to fit his lifestyle. Now I want to STRESS this is a theory based on what minimal information we have from hidden bug videos(that may or may not show what is actually happening in Home when the cameras are off and showing the truth as well) that have been fully wiped from the website and how all these names were for a song made by Playfellow and Marlo so of course they'd want to make something goofy like this since Howdy's name is both a shorthand for Howard and a greeting, aka Howdyadoo as his mom and aunt call him. Also shout out to @carnivalcarrion for their Welcome Home Winter-Spring Update stream where they pointed out "Toodaloo" possibly being Wooly Aunt Molly before we heard these names, you may have hit the right note there IF this theory has any merit. If not, well I had fun thinking about it and I hope everyone who reads this long theory enjoyed it too and got your own brains turning at what was going on in the Neighbors world and what was going on in the real world.

[soupthecoolest]

CnD!

alright! so CnD, or "Creation and Destruction" is my homebrew "dnd" campaign!! i have dnd in quotes just cause. well my autism got too strong and i made an entire handbook with my own mechanics LMAO so it's really it's own Thing at this point. which is super cool n fun. after everything's been wrapped up i might publish that handbook but WE SHALL SEE.

anyway CnD is my own personal excuse to make my friends rp with me and my crazy ocs. SO.

it all started when the 11 party members crashed on the beach in a town they'd never seen before. looked totally normal until at the end of the first session they found a portal!

jumping in, that just... kept happening. small adventure, portal, repeat. with no end in sight. as the party began questioning why all this was happening, they met these two little FREAKS named mayhem and maelstrom. (i'll add all refs i have below!!)

anyway mae n may mentioned an elusive “She” that they’re working for, which led my players down an insane conspiracy rabbit hole in which they guessed 90% of hullabaloo’s vibe based on a PRONOUN. ONE PRONOUN I DROPPED I CAN’T TELL THESE MFS ANYTHING

next, they met pandemonium, (@weedsmokingbfs's oc!!! owe you my life muppy) who told them that: these portals aren't taking them place to place, it's transporting them around purgatory. and they've all died.

since then it's been up to the party to navigate their purpose, how to escape, all of it.

then they met bedlam, who explained to them this crazy prophecy and the reason they're all trapped there, which connects to a decision he made 800 years earlier.

enter callie.

my god this is so much to explain IM CRAZY ok. so callie and dee (@percexe) had been meeting in the void for centuries. he'd see callie there when he died and never knew why. 2 idiots had an unspoken pact to not talk about their pasts, but boy they should've!

it would've revealed that callie is actually named chaos, and directly related to all the other crazy clowns they'd meet across the campaign.

they're called the Story, the main 6 pantheon of gods i've set up in this universe! so we've got (in order of like. "hierarchy")

mayhem and maelstrom: gods of war and balance (he/they)

pandemonium: trickster god of illusion (he/it)

bedlam: god of magic and prophecy (he/him)

hullabaloo: goddess of joy, day, and spontaneity (she/her)

chaos: goddess of narration, night, and tradition (she/he)

the Story are basically the worlds most fucked up family, all considering each other brother and sister. in the beginning they were fine, but as time went on things just naturally got more and more messed, and now everything is just a nightmare

chaos and hullabaloo are kinda a tier above the rest of the story, part of their own subset called the Storytellers.

hullabaloo wanted more power and betrayed chaos, trapping her in the void for eternity, as she wanted to rule the universe herself. which all circles back to how callie met dee.

in the void, chaos didn't feel like himself and took on the name calypso, which is how she introduced herself to dee once they met.

and nobody found out anything out of a series of insane miscommunications and lack of info! what fun!

but now in the campaign timeline, everyone's basically caught up. we've finished the first season and are heading into the second in a couple weeks!!! also excuse if this feels rushed at all it's because it is <3 LMFAO there's just so much with CnD, this barely scratches the surface.

there's so much i couldn't cover here like the prophecy binding the party to purgatory, bedlam's entire role in that, the mages, etc. we're like 25 sessions in and so far i've planned 40 more. i am SO normal!!!!

PLEASEEE ask about it if you're curious!! im so insane about my campaign it is my pride and joy :]]

in order there: hullabaloo, chaos, bedlam, pandemonium, and mayhem and maelstrom! ART CREDS for pandemonium and may&mae refs @weedsmokingbfs !!! once more muppy i owe u all my beans

[chungledown-bimothy]

can someone who went/goes to catholicism (as a member or person who knows shit about its history) confirm whether or not there was a big hullabaloo at some point about whether or not judas should be hated?

like, the whole plan doesn't work if judas doesn't betray him, so in a way, that was god's work he was doing. that rings a dim bell of something i read once, but i went to mormonism, which famously cares about other shit more than the bible, and while i'm trying to look for it on my own, i don't really know how to go about looking for it.

[disgruntledexplainer]

easy answers to the "fERmI PAroDoX"

the fermi paradox is fucking stupid, and this is why:

IT'S NOT A PARADOX.

there are SO MANY possible solutions to this "paradox" its maddening to think that so many people think it IS one.

(btw i'm not saying that alien life, or even intelligent alien life, doesn't exist. i'm just saying that all this hullabaloo about "not finding it yet" is ridiculous. we'll find it when we find it.)

the most basic solution to the paradox is a variation on the "great filter": that we are just seriously, completely, hillariously overestimating the chances of life coming into existence in the first place. The fact of the matter is that we still don't know for sure what the circumstances were that led to it's emergence; some likely answers might include the emergence of proto-cells from a kind of primordial soul of organic molecules stimulated by lightning. if this is the case, the circumstances on earth would have to be PERFECT for life to emerge at all. Earth is vast, and it's climate varied, but it was still a long shot. this life would have also needed to survive long enough to evolve and adapt to it's surroundings well enough to survive changes in it's environment.

lot's of fuss is put out about how many "earth-like" planets we have found, but in order for life to emerge in the first place on those worlds it would have to have already had centuries of evolution under it's belt. worlds that are baking on one side and frozen on the other are NOT good candidates for life, nor are ones that are covered in magma, nor are ones that are gigantic oceans with little in the way of organic molecules to feed on, nor are worlds that have no liquid water whatsoever. most of the "earth-like" planets that have been touted about would NEVER have been suited for the emergence of life, though life could conceivably evolve to live on them. People always forget that the evolutionary process takes time, and that in order for it to occur at all some members of the original forms of life have to survive the conditions that killed everything else.

the "natural" assumption that evolution has an arrow that points to the emergence of intelligence, and further, civilization. if biodiversity on a planet is low, the chance that any biological lineage would need to evolve a survival strategy as convoluted as intelligence is also low. why evolve a big brain when you can evolve a big mouth with lots of pointy teeth? a form of intelligent life might emerge that is a solitary predator, like an octopus, unwilling to work with others of its kind for any reason. they could fail to develop a complex language or the means of expressing it. they could have short lifespans that curtails the accumulation of experience and the ability to pass it to the next generation. they could completely lack hands or tentacles, and thus be unable to build technology. or they could develop beaks for manipulating objects, but as a result be completely unable to manipulate radioactive, poisonous, or explosive materials without killing themselves. they could evolve as an aquatic-only species, and thus be unable to develop fire or metallurgy, barring them from developing aircraft or spacecraft entirely.

at the next level up, low biodiversity could actually curtail scientific development. numerous technologies on earth have been inspired by, or even copied directly from, other living organisms. we copied the battery from the electric eel's physiology, and we were inspired to learn to fly by birds and bats, even if the methods of flight we eventually developed turned out to be vastly different. without these inspirations, i believe technology would develop much slower.

at the modern level, we got nukes. if the cold war had gone differently, it would have sent us back to the stone age, or worse. imagine a species that just keeps doing that, over and over again; they reach 20th century tech, nuke their respective civilizations to bits, start all over, get back to the 20th century, and nuke themselves all over again. Why do we imagine that alien life would be any more enlightened, any less warlike, any less xenophobic or self-destructive than we are? perhaps we haven't seen radio signals from them because the window of time where they knew how to transmit radio signals was so short.

how about space travel? a couple of decades ago space colonization seemed inevitable, but now? it honestly seems more likely that we will achieve world peace than reach mars with a manned expedition. there are just so many reasons why NOT to do it, from money to politics to sheer indifference. without the rabid patriotism of the cold wars to drive us, it seems the entire world has settled into comfortable inactivity. sure, some billionaire might start space tourism, but that's unlikely to take anyone out of orbiting hotels. it would take about seven months to get to mars from earth with our current tech, and unlike in previous generations of exploration support from the "mainland" would not likely be forthcoming. fuck, even if we DID manage it, the supply lines could be cut a couple months into the mission due to political infighting or a war. again, if this is our reality, why do we assume the aliens have it any better than us?

ftl travel. what will it take to get it through people's heads that it's NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. on that note, without ftl how many people do you think are actually going to volunteer for an expedition to proxima centauri, all to settle on a world that just looks like the moon, but bigger than earth. again, WHY SHOULD WE EXPECT ALIENS TO ACT MORE ALTRUISTICALLY THAN WE WOULD? WHICH AMONG YOU WOULD TRADE THE BEAUTY AND BIODIVERSITY OF EARTH FOR A DEAD ROCK?

that would take 6300 years BTW, and that's our closest neighbor. discounting the fact that all the original crew will die in that time if we don't develop actual functional cryogenics, SO MUCH can go wrong during that time. consider, for example, if the ship is diverted EVEN A LITTLE BIT from it's course. we could end up with the ship running out of fuel and power light years away from it's destination, and then everyone dies. or a disease could spring up. or the ship could be hit by a micrometeorite and completely decompress. all that before anyone knows if terraforming proxima centauri b is even an option. WHY SHOULD WE EXPECT ALIENS TO TAKE THIS RISK?

terraforming. a pipe dream. preparing a world in our own solar system for habitation would take multiple lifetimes, and that's a generous estimation. it would also be prohibitively expensive and would require resources from other worlds to do properly. do you think this is something a government or a corporation would try to accomplish? to please who? the shareholders would fire any CEO who tried, and just imagine a politician trying to explain to his voting base that all their tax money went to terraforming a distant rock instead of social services or national defense? it wouldn't benefit anyone for so long, and would likely be abandoned part-way through. WHY SHOULD WE EXPECT MORE OF ALIEN PEOPLES?

honestly, the fermi paradox strikes me as less an actual "paradox", and more of a way to cope with the utter loneliness of the human race in a purely rationalistic universe. it's a case of us expecting evidence, not finding it, and forming convoluted theoretical conspiracies to explain why the evidence we expected was erased, like how 7-day creationists try to explain away prehistoric fossil evidence with "the devil did it".

we'll find life when we find it, if we find it, and in such a case we will probably just find some parallel to archaebacteria or, if we're lucky, protists. sentient life almost certainly exists. the universe is just too vast for it NOT to exist. but that vastness includes galaxies we will never explore or send probes to, in clusters far outside the scope of our imaginations.

so no, the fermi paradox isn't a paradox. it is pure copium.

[lawsofchaos1]

Shadowhunter Promptlet: Arranged Marriage AU

In a bid to prevent a full civil war during Valentine's first rise, the Clave allows the Circle significantly more free-reign and doesn't fight against them in even the small way they may otherwise have done. Thus, the war against the Downworld drags on and doesn't come to an end with a rewriting of the Accords for another decade.

The Downworld rallied under Magnus and the other Consular High Warlocks once it became evident that the Clave had no desire to fight the Circle. Therefore, when it comes to a renegotiation of the Accords, they come to it in a position of power and control that they didn't have ten years ago.

When it becomes evident that the Clave (who are deeply regretting their decision to support the Circle) and the Downworld are both looking for something concrete, a visible symbol that this treaty will be more than words, the Clave suggests they give one of theirs in marriage to the undisputed leader of the united Downworld, Magnus Bane.

Expecting a fully political marriage (and also rather used to the idea of sealing treaties in this manner given both Clave and ancient history), Magnus agrees.

The Clave, as punishment for Robert and Maryse, Valentine's second-in-command, and as warning to the other Circle members of the Clave, decide to give up the Lightwood's eldest and only son as their sacrifice. He's been running the NYI with very little support from his parents (usually off doing tasks for Valentine) for most of the last year and this would also give the Clave an excuse to exile the elder Lightwoods back to the family manor in Idris immediately and give the Institute to their son after a few more months of Acting Headship.

The day of the wedding arrives and Magnus scoffs unhappily when he finds out he's being given a Lightwood in marriage, but the terms are meant to placate the Downworld, so he agrees, wondering what exactly this member of the family had done to piss off the Clave so badly.

And then comes the ceremony.

And the thing is, no had bothered to check who the nephilim were giving the Downworld in advance. The terms of the treaty are clear, magically binding, and very much in favor of the Downworld in this area- the nephilim will take Magnus' name, is forbidden to harm him, will live with him and cannot use that access to Magnus' home to bring in other nephilim who wouldn't be forbidden to raise arms against him. In turn, Magnus is simply bound to marry whomever the nephilim pick. 

(Frankly, Magnus had just assumed he'd have a decade or two at most of co-habitation to deal with before the nephilim in question died some way or another.)

Thus, no one in the Downworld had anticipated the Clave sacrificing a fifteen-year old child until Alexander Lightwood, brand new parabatai trembling in fear and rage at the suggenes' place behind him and little sister crying alone in the front row, the elder Lightwoods already banned from New York, comes walking calmly down the aisle.

Yeah. No.

(But also, after all the hullabaloo of Magnus refusing to marry a literal child and the fun of reorganizing the treaty to still account for an alliance between Alec and Magnus since that was the whole point, Alec falls head over heels for the sparkly warlock who made his life better than he ever thought possible and is 100% determined that he is going to marry Magnus. Once everyone involved is of age and consenting of course because that was not a fun conversation to have on his not-really-wedding day and Alec isn't doing that twice. But really, Magnus doesn't stand a chance once a slightly older Alec begins to wage his seven-years-in-the-making wooing campaign. Magnus is wooed. Immortal husbands. The End.)

[sirenjose]

Short Margaretha Analysis

Margie is a person who wanted a life beyond the quiet fishing village of Lakeside. She thought she found love, then was abused by that same person. She goes to the manor at the chance of being a "millionaire". She's also been through a lot.

Margie does have several skins where she does some not great things. Like Kroto helping Scrooge fake Bella’s death as a fall. Or skins involving luring and manipulating people, like Aromatherapy Sauna and Mystic Flame which says “she lured lambs onto the path of no return”.

Moonblessed was used by Samhain in the Halloween story but saved by Fenix. And Vile Blossom worked with Netherwalker after being corrupted by the abyss.

Those like Kroto, Moonblessed, and Vile Blossom I think can connect to Margaretha’s (not good) relationship with Sergei.

He was the one who had her give her aunt and uncle a special borscht to knock them out and let them escape the village. He was also the one who abused her when he became drunk.

He saw her like his property, so when he found out she “sought refuge” in Joker’s tent, it says “Sergei couldn’t stand for this”. This was when we know he got revenge on Joker by destroying his face with acid laced in his make-up.

Time passed but eventually “the truth was finally spilled in a fit of drunkenness”. As the next words are Sergei “also” lost his face” on that drunken night, the “truth” should refer to Sergei being the one to ruin Joker’s face (which angered Joker so much he killed Sergei).

Due to Joker’s own mental state having deteriorated over the years while playing the crying clown, from having no hope of ever being the leading role, forcing Joker to humiliate and act foolish in front of an entire audience repeatedly “for the spectator’s joy”, inspired “that innermost, dark part of his soul”. Learning Sergei was the cause of his ruined face and for making Joker unable to “continue playing the role of a sad clown” at Hullabaloo was the last straw.

This was when Joker then caused the Hullabaloo tragedy, burning down the circus that had caused him so much pain and let himself let lose and vent all his suffering by killing everyone.

As for skins like Aromatherapy Sauna and Mystic Flame where she’s involved with luring or manipulating people, I think this is meant to loosely connect to essentially Margaretha’s desire for “someone to rely on, even if it’s just temporarily” as she says herself in her 4th letter.

Going back to Margaretha’s 2nd and 3rd letters, it further details she “uses her beauty and frailty to seek sympathy and protection from others” (though this is said by the manor owner, who has a biased/negative view of everyone).

The reason Margaretha is at risk can tie to how she keeps being in situations where she’s at risk or being hurt, like Sergei abusing her, or the hullabaloo tragedy, or the threat of Mike attacking her. It is situations like these why Margaretha seeks protection.

She wants a comfortable life, without pain, or abuse, or any threat to her life. She’s never been alone, which is why she keeps seeking someone that she can lean on.

Margaretha’s goal ever since before she left Lakeside was to pursue a “better life”. She wasn’t satisfied (at least initially) with the quiet fishing village. As Margaretha herself says in her 4th letter, even though she’s starting to miss Lakeside after all this, she “still wants to see the outside world before heading back”. That was why she went after Sergei, a way out of Lakeside and hopefully to something better. It is unfortunate it is only after too late she discovers how he really is. She escaped Lakeside via Sergei, then went to Joker after a “heated argument” to escape her abuse from Sergei. After escaping the circus during the hullabaloo tragedy, we see in her 3rd letter that “at one point she… truly missed the kinship between the ‘Hullabaloo' circus members” but “went back to her old ways” when she recognized Joker. This was because she sought protection against Mike in case he tried to attack her (due to him thinking she might’ve cause the circus tragedy).

From Margie’s backstory, in relation to her desire for a “better life”, it says she was “used to the good life” but lost ‘all financial security’ when Sergei died. It then says “Margaretha, not knowing how to making[sic] a living, has gained a new understanding of ‘freedom’”.

Compared to someone like Norton, Margaretha did have a semi comfortable life with at least the basic necessities, but she wanted more. This connects to how I said earlier Margaretha wants a comfortable life without pain or difficulty.

She was also interested in seeing more of the world than what was there in that quiet fishing village, which was likely why she tried to join the traveling circus Hullabaloo. She’d never been alone before, forced to care for herself all alone, which is why her backstory mentions gaining a “new understanding of ‘freedom’”. We see she once again is faced with this reality when she realizes how Joker has changed when she sees him attack Violetta. Margaretha is confirmed to have been affected by the drugs, so we should keep that in mind. But she does now want to escape from Joker, and is afraid she might become his next target, yet as she says she now has “no one left to trust”. This means Margaretha herself this time will have to step up and protect herself, which could fit with how she says “If he really does make me his next target, I will never give him the chance, and I won't let myself be fooled again!”

(Margaretha learning to essentially be on her own without having to rely on someone else could be reflected with Kroto after she leaves Golden Rose Theater for a new theater group to perform “Kroto’s Chain”.)

No Margaretha isn’t perfect, but neither is she pure evil.

Yes she’s used to luxury, but she’s also been through a lot of pain. Remember, she “fled” to Lakeside with her aunt and uncle 15 years ago, while she was still young.

Her parents are never mentioned, and the use of the word “fled” can imply something bad happened to them. Then she was betrayed by her fiancé/husband Sergei who she thought would be the love of her life but ended up being a drunk who constantly abused her (who likely also frequently got angry and was possessive of her). She then had to flee the circus that she thought would be her new home as it burned to the ground and everyone within was killed. And finally, at the manor, she is afraid of Mike attacking her due to his belief she may have caused the tragedy, and then afraid of Joker himself when she sees what he did to Violetta.

Yes she does use her “beauty and frailty” to “seek sympathy and protection”, but that's her fear and desperation (to avoid any more danger). It is also due to her lack of ever having to rely on only herself before, but she is forced to confront this reality eventually.

Also, essences aren't 1 to 1. Just like how Norton has a lot of skins that emphasize "greed" with him, yet if you really look at his story, you'll see this is far from the case (desperate to escape poverty to have a comfortable life with the basic necessities).

So same to Margie, even if she seems to have a lot of skins that involve her not doing something good, just summing it up as "evil" is quite accurate.

(I wish it were as easy for me to explain Demi's skins making her look but I feel like we're missing key info about her)

(Demi is called an "insider" and her brother does work for the manor owner, but for now I'm hoping we'll learn more about her soon. That or more if Sam gets released eventually)

(If I said anything wrong about Margie, my apologies. I did this analysis fairly quickly, as I wanted to make sure to clarify my opinion/comments. Please let me know if there's any inaccuracies, because I know there's people who know her a lot better than me)

[abandonedbun]

Oh and!! Can you please write general hcs with Violetta? I really love my spider queen she deserves sm love and attention kds;asldk;slk (≧◡≦) ♡

Bunny finally writes?! (REAL‼️ NOT CLICKBAIT‼️) SORRY BUN TOOK A WHILEEE

But now… she is back… AND WITH WOMEN

Bun doesn’t know if anything she wrote could be wrong so sorry >_<

Oh and she added hcs with and without a s/o!

Violetta

Violetta is DEFINITELY one of the sweetest hunters, she’s tied with Michiko!

She actually doesn’t like hitting the survivors because she feels really bad

And she gets sorta sad when they’re scared and running away from her, she truly is sweet! But she has to do her job as a hunter :(

She does go friendly sometimes! She can really enjoy the company of others, especially if they’re hullabaloo members, she loves every one of them!

She gets along the most with Mike he always tells her jokes that makes her laugh, and he’s genuinely a nice person to talk to

For Margaretha she likes sharing beauty stuff with Violetta, she even likes to wear matching costumes with her sometimes! Pretty girls! :3

With a s/o

She’s the best lover you could ever have, she does so much for you

Honestly goes friendly just for you or lets your team have a tie. But if she already eliminated 3 of your teammates she talks with you a bit and let’s you have the dungeon/get out of the exit gate

She really really likes dolls, she likes showing you her dolls and making you some

She made dolls of you two once and they’re the cutest!!! >w<

She puts her heart into them because they’re truly her passion!

If she ever gets sad she usually goes to you for comfort if you’re available, she sits and talks about what went wrong and it usually helps, especially if you re-assure and comfort her about it

CUDDLE HER AND LET HER BE THE SMALL SPOON OKAY? SHE NEEDS TO BE HELD! SHE NEEDS THE LOVING WARMTH SHE DESERVES!

Baking!! She enjoys baking dates with you! She knows how to make the icing designs extra pretty so you get pretty sweets + pretty designs!

One time she made you a heart Web in a match and omg that was so sweet your heart ached (in a good way ofc)

Violetta would do pretty much anything for you, she loves you and you love her <33 (who doesn’t tbh?)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I genuinely do not understand why everybody wants BTS to be goody-two-shoes. For f-k's sake, I personally don't give a rat's a-s, even if they start following gangsters one fine day. It's their life, their choice, it's their account, as long as the person they follow is legally allowed on the platform, it's fine. I get that they are celebrities and need to stick to certain rules, but this is truly difficult for me to understand. They can't follow fellow female k-pop stars or anyone who perhaps interests them, like, what is this?!! I used to think that this is a cultural difference because maybe, I just don't understand Korean Idol culture in depth, but now to my utter dismay, I see it's my friends who I hang out with that make a big deal out of who they follow or unfollow.

I mean, everybody's allowed to judge anyone for being friends with people of questionable reputation, but to spew hatred and nonsensical stuff of this degree, just for this is just so f-king toxic. I swear this fandom is bat shit crazy. And for once I wish they would just start randomly following anybody and everybody they want to, and keep following regardless of the hullabaloo of "ARMY". This catering to the fanatical whims of "their" fandom gets on my nerves. Sometimes I feel BTS themselves are also very insecure about losing their fandom, which funny enough, kind of makes me feel sad for them. This whole need of BTS Armys to forever visualize them as sweet soft teddy bears, who don't have vices and needs and wants and everything else like regular humans, (when they are actual billionaires) is simply delusional.

And BTS needs burner accounts, for what it's worth.

You're preaching to the choir here. Army obsesssed with the IG accounts, obsessed about the people BTS members interact here and how it's perceived. All from this moral high ground, as if their opinion matters. As if they can control the actions of some adult men that can can and should do whatever they want, especially in the case of such non-issues. I wish Tae would grow a pair and just follow whomever he wants and not backtrack on it. What would actually happen? Nothing. Because it's not that serious. The fact that they only follow each other on their public IG accounts is such BH ot7 bullshit cause god forbid there's a chance for their narrative to be in danger. It's silly and innacurate of their real life, which is the case with so much BTS content out there. That entire need for authenticity and what made them relatable in a way through the way they interacted online and shared so much of their process and journey, it's long forgotten.

They won't lose their entire fanbase. They'd still get their money and fame and adoration. But nothing will change for the better if they don't put their foot down and send a clear message to their fans that they're not some kids. Because Army is not treating them like adults (and everything that entails) as long as they call BTS "our boys" that need to be protected in situations when there is absolutely no need for that. Imagine thinking you need to protect men close to their 30s. Like, just think about it and take out BTS out of the equation and them being regular men. Is this where we are at? Not me, certainly.

[dukeofriven]

So all this hullabaloo is teaching me that I find Vriska fandom extremely triggering. Not Vriska herself, she's fine - she's still a highly-engaging, funny, complex character who excellently demonstrates the dangerous combination of entitlement and cruelty, and as a writer I remain awed at how effectively she destabilizes the narrative in ways that always logically extend from her pathologies (even if as a reader you want to pull your hair out and hit her with a pool noodle). No, it's Vriska fandom that triggers me. I was there, Gandalf. I was there five thousand years ago on the MSPForums. I remember the 18 or more Vriska containment threads, where people contorted themselves into pretzels to try and ignore the text of the work in favour of what their fanon interpretations needed them to believe. To this day the most hateful person I know is a Vriska stan, firm in their belief that their open cruelty and constant derision of others just a part of their honest, tell-it-like-it is personality, and it's your problem if you can't handle it.

Is this every Viska fan? Of course it is: every Vriska fan is literally and individually as a person a really bad human being who should be imprisoned for their innate personality of sinful fuck off bad-faith commenter who is already acting like that's the kind of thing I am saying. Most Vriska fans are normal, well-adjusted people who perhaps have nothing more wrong with them with a slightly unhealthy fixation with grubby tank tops on members of the Coppola family. But equally this current poll has brought every stomach-churning bit of 2012-era Vriscourse back to the surface of my mind, and I am having Nam flashbacks remembering every bully who latched onto Vriska as a patron saint, who stripped the irony out of 'Vriska did nothing wrong' until it became a mantra of the triumph of aesthetic over action, of gilding tormenting with slick one-liners and insouciance. Is this rational? No. like most trigger responses it's grounded in personal experience irrationally projected outwards into a fear-lensed framework of the world. It's a me problem. But Christ do I not find 'Vriska did nothing wrong' amusing. Ever. Go back and reread Act 5. Spend some actual time reliving the troll arc and see if what you thought was edgy and cool in 2012 is something you can still embrace in 2023, even ironically. Stop saying 'Vriska did nothing wrong.' Start saying 'Equius did nothing wrong' because 1) that's much more hilarious and 2) as I've said for years, Tumblr is much, much more like Equius than any of the cool characters in Homestuck and it's time to accept that.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

On the first day of the new Congress, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) delivered one of the nominating speeches for Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), who was seeking the House Speakership. Jordan bemoaned a “government that has been weaponized” against the American people and called for greater accountability. The next day, during a second round of failed votes for McCarthy, Rep. Scott Perry (R-Pa.), the leader of the far-right House Freedom Caucus, voiced a similar sentiment but in opposing McCarthy: “Washington is broken… We have an administration that has contempt for the American people.” Though the two men were on different sides in this battle royal, they were united in hypocrisy, for each of these decriers of abusive power had been collaborators in Donald Trump’s public crusade to promote the lies about the 2020 election that led to the January 6 insurrectionist attack on the Capitol and in Trump’s devious plotting to overturn the election and upend American democracy.

Their roles in the House GOP’s crapshow illustrated a profound fact largely overlooked in this hullabaloo: The political chaos that brought the House of Representatives to a standstill was being perpetuated by a party that two years earlier had tried to sabotage the republic and had championed falsehoods and conspiracy theories that led to seditious violence in the very chamber where the Speakership fight was now occurring. Of the 222 Republicans currently in the House GOP caucus, 119 had on January 6, 2021, after the Trump-incited riot, affirmed the false charge of a stolen election by voting to block certification of Joe Biden’s victory. This group included most of the anti-McCarthy bloc, among them Reps. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, and Ralph Norman, who in January 2021 texted then-White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows that Trump should consider “Marshall Law” to remain in office. And this group included McCarthy.

The GOP civil war in the House was being fought over whether to elevate an election denier who had helped spread the Big Lie that spurred violence to a position that is second in the line of presidential succession. Yet McCarthy’s participation in that assault on democracy was not an issue. For Republicans, it was a prerequisite.

Though most Republicans elected to the new Congress share culpability for January 6 and the failed effort to blow up the 2020 election, Perry and Jordan stand out for their significant participation in Trump’s anti-constitutional and arguably criminal caper.

The House January 6 committee’s report details Perry as a key conspirator in one of Trump’s plots to reverse the election. After the 2020 election was called, Perry was a prominent cheerleader of Trump’s fraudulent claim the election had been stolen from him. He was one of 27 Republican House members who signed a letter requesting that Trump “direct Attorney General Barr to appoint a Special Counsel to investigate irregularities in the 2020 election.” He attended a December 21 Oval Office meeting with at least 10 other congressional Republicans to discuss a strategy for objecting to the electoral college votes on January 6. And with 125 other House Republicans, he supported Texas’ lawsuit that called for throwing out the votes of Pennsylvania and three other states.

But Perry outdid other GOP election deniers with his behind-the-scenes scheming to corrupt the Justice Department.

In late December 2020, after Barr resigned (having told Trump privately and stated publicly there was no evidence of any significant electoral fraud), Trump relentlessly leaned on the Justice Department—mainly, Acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen and his deputy, Richard Donoghue—to affirm his baseless assertion that the election had been rigged. They resisted and repeatedly told Trump the allegations of fraud were untrue. Trump was not getting what he wanted from the department.

This is where Perry came in. He found a Justice Department official named Jeffrey Clark who was running the Environment and Natural Resources Division. Clark had nothing to do with investigating the allegations of election fraud, but he was willing to echo and legitimize Trump’s false charges. Perry introduced Clark to Trump, arranging a meeting between the two in the Oval Office on December 22. As the January 6 Committee noted, “Clark’s contact with President Trump violated both Justice Department and White House policies designed to prevent political pressure on the Department.”

Perry also sent numerous text messages to Meadows urging that Clark be promoted within the department, presumably to a position in which he could compel the Justice Department to assist Trump’s bid to retain power. In one message, Perry referred to the upcoming certification of the electoral vote and declared, “11 days to 1/6… We gotta get going!”

Though Rosen and Donoghue ordered Clark to have no further contact with Trump, Clark continued to meet with Trump and Perry. Perry also directly confronted the Justice Department about its refusal to back up Trump’s false allegations. He called Donoghue on December 27 and assailed the FBI and the department for not finding evidence of election fraud. He added that “Clark would do something about this.”

That night, Perry emailed Donoghue material alleging that election authorities in Pennsylvania had counted 200,000 or so more votes than had been cast—a claim that he and Trump raised publicly. No such thing had happened. Perry was spreading disinformation in an attempt to disenfranchise the voters of his own state.

Meanwhile, Clark—Perry’s man at the Justice Department—was pushing an underhanded plan to keep Trump in power. This included proposing to send a letter to the state legislature of Georgia—and those of other swing states—that falsely declared that the Justice Department had “identified significant concerns that may have impacted the outcome of the election in multiple States, including the State of Georgia.” The letter recommended that the state legislature call a special session to evaluate potential election fraud. The draft of this letter referred to the fake electors that Trump and his campaign had organized.

When Rosen and Donoghue refused to sign this letter, Trump moved to boot Rosen and replace him with Clark. At a combative Oval Office meeting on January 3, Rosen, Donoghue, White House counsel Pat Cipollone and others strenuously opposed Clark’s appointment and told Trump it would lead to massive resignations at the department. Only then did Trump retreat on appointing Clark acting attorney general. This attempt to enlist the Justice Department for a coup was over.

The Trump-Clark scheme, in which Perry was a major plotter, was cited by the House January 6 committee in its final report as one basis for its criminal referral of Trump and others. And apparently Perry had some concerns for his own legal safety. According to the committee, after January 6, he reached out to White House staff and asked to receive a presidential pardon. (He did not receive one.)

In August, the FBI seized Perry’s cell phone, presumably as part of its investigation of the Trump-Clark operation. Perry claimed he was told he was not the subject of an investigation. The January 6 committee subpoenaed Perry, but he refused to show up for a deposition, and the committee subsequently referred him to the House Ethics Committee for sanction for failing to comply with the subpoena.

As for Jim Jordan, the January 6 committee declared he was “a significant player in President Trump’s efforts.” It noted:

"He participated in numerous post-election meetings in which senior White House officials, Rudolph Giuliani, and others, discussed strategies for challenging the election, chief among them claims that the election had been tainted by fraud. On January 2, 2021, Representative Jordan led a conference call in which he, President Trump, and other Members of Congress discussed strategies for delaying the January 6th joint session. During that call, the group also discussed issuing social media posts encouraging President Trump’s supporters to ‘march to the Capitol’ on the 6th."

The committee’s report points out that Jordan was in touch with Meadows and Trump in the days before the January 6 riot. On January 5, he texted Meadows that Vice President Mike Pence should “call out all the electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.” That is, Jordan was urging an unconstitutional action to achieve a Trump power-grab that would thwart the peaceful transfer of power.

On January 6, Jordan spoke with Trump at least twice, and, according to the committee, “he has provided inconsistent public statements about how many times they spoke and what they discussed.” He also spoke to Rudy Giuliani at least twice in the hours after the riot, as Giuliani continued to encourage members of Congress to block the certification of the election. In the following days, the committee noted, Jordan discussed with White House staffers the prospect of presidential pardons for members of Congress.

Like Perry, Jordan was subpoenaed by the January 6 committee and refused to cooperate, earning a referral to the House Ethics Committee—as did McCarthy. The committee wanted information from McCarthy regarding his conversations with Trump and Pence on and about January 6. He, too, would not cooperate.

As the McCarthy drama has played out, critical participants have been election deniers who not long ago sought to undermine democracy and whose actions led to the domestic terrorism of January 6. McCarthy’s foes, his defenders, and McCarthy himself all were part of the efforts to subvert the Constitution following Biden’s victory. Moreover, whatever happens with McCarthy, these enemies of democracy will end up with important positions in the House. Jordan is expected to become chair of the Judiciary Committee. Perry will likely remain chair of the House Freedom Caucus, which will continue as a band of extremists and plague whichever Republican becomes speaker. This absurd speakership fight is a reminder that Republicans who tried to annihilate the constitutional order and who bolstered conspiracy theories and lies that ignited violence have attained power and influence. The guilty have been rewarded.

[sharperthewriter]

StormChaser90's 9th Annual Heebie-Jeebie Hullabaloo Halloween Contest

Good morning to the members of the Kimmunity.

StormChaser (SC) has unleashed his 9th Annual Halloween Story Contest.

Below are the rules for his contest (I basically copied and pasted the rules just to save my fingers from a lot of typing, since I did a lot of football stats the last two days.):

1) One story per writer must be submitted in the contest. Multiple entries are not allowed. However if you're not satisfied with your story, you can swap it out for another one. But this can only be done one time! You have to let me know which story you are withdrawing so that it won't be counted in the contest.

2) The story (and a brief description) must be added to this thread. You also may add a hyperlink.

3) The ratings of K, K-plus, and T are allowed for the contest. NO M-RATED OR MA-RATED STORIES ARE ALLOWED.

4) The story must have Horror in the genre but it can be added to any other sub-genre. (Horror/Action, Horror/Comedy, etc.)

5) The story can be about any character pairing as well. (Kim/Ron, Kim/Shego, etc.)

6) The story must not be connected to another story, but can be part of an existing story universe or crossover.

7) The story can be either a one-shot or a multi-chapter story. One-Shots must have at least a minimum of 1000 words while multi-chapter stories must have a minimum of 1500 words and it cannot exceed over 5 chapters.

8) Submissions for the contest are eligible from Oct. 1st thru Oct. 31st (11:59pm Central US time). If author's need more time, I can issue a 7 day extension to the contest.

9) Voting will take place between Nov. 1st and Nov. 7th (11:59pm Central US time), or Nov. 7th thru Nov. 14th if the deadline is extended.

10) Most importantly, have fun!

The link to submit any Halloween-related stories is here: ​​Stormchaser90's 9th Annual Heebie-Jeebie Hullabaloo Halloween Contest - Kim Possible Discussion Forum | FanFiction

[talesofpassingtime]

‘Why are there so many opinions about the nature of God?’ asked a disguised spy from the Atheist Society (AS) and a member of the Branch to Uncover Fraudulent Holy Men (BUFHM). ‘Some say he has form. Others say he is formless. Why all this controversy?’

— Kiran Desai, Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard

[fools-endearment]

would u ever write margaretha zelle (idv) x reader?

Heyyy! There wasn’t a lot of specifics here, so I went for general dating headcanons! If this isn’t want you wanted, feel free to send another ask <3.

Margaretha Zelle (Female Dancer) General Dating Headcanons (Romantic, GN Reader)

Okay, so first off, this woman is smitten with you. Your existence makes her go <333 in the best way possible.

One thing that is noticeable about her is that she values material objects that are on the fancier side, like jewelry and clothes, so she really appreciates any gifts like these you give her. Although in general, she appreciates gifts from you. They don’t even have to be worth much, it’s just the fact you were the one who gave them to her that makes her treasure them so dearly.

She is a pretty petite woman, so if you’re bigger than her or the same size as her, she will absolutely steal and wear your clothes. On the other side, if you’re smaller or, once again, the same size as her, you get to wear some of her clothes.

If you ever want to, she would be incredibly happy to try dancing with you or, if you don’t know how to dance, teach you to dance. It’s something she enjoys, and she’s glad to share it for you.

Self-care days. She loves to be pampered and pamper you, so she considers this a really nice bonding activity for the two of you. These days will either be just the two of you or possibly with some of the other people in the manor.

Dating Margaretha in the manor means that there is a high possibility you are at least acquainted with the other former Hullabaloo members. On the upside to this, it means you get to hear some interesting stories. The downside is there is a higher possibility you’ll get dragged into whatever messes they (specifically Mike) might cause.

If you wear makeup or nail polish, she is definitely going to want to try doing it for you. She’d be really happy to do so, but will also understand if you say no.

She likes to have small things that can match between the two of you, like matching necklaces or rings. Something small, but endearing.

As stated above, she enjoys it when you show interest in her hobbies, but she also enjoys learning about things that you like. Even if it’s something she doesn’t really know about, she’d like to try it at least once or twice with you since it’s something you enjoy.

Overall, she’s a really good girlfriend. She loves you and is happy you love her in return. Everyone else is also pretty supportive and glad you both are happy together.