#the pandemic was really rough on us all

[doberbutts]

Friend: yeah idk if you can eat/like Indian food but this particular dish is really yummy

Me: I mean I don't eat Indian often but I think you're forgetting the time that [Indian trans woman friend] was staying at my place? I wasn't charging her rent so she just cooked for us every day while we were either asleep or at work whether we wanted her to or not

Friend: OH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

[internetdruid]

Evening, ladies

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[rebelumbrella46]

Let’s just be honest—The Umbrella Academy was essentially cancelled after Season 3, but given the massive fandom, Netflix gave them the chance to wrap up the story with a final season. It’s similar to what happened with Shadowhunters—it was cancelled, but after the outcry from fans, they were given two more episodes to tie things up.

For me, the first two seasons were masterpieces. They truly became my comfort show and introduced me to my comfort characters. This might sound cheesy, but it’s true—when the first season aired, I was going through a rough time in my life, and I held on to this show like my life depended on it. Season 2 arrived amidst the pandemic, and it was a light in the darkness for me as well. Even with the massive success of Season 2, I think Netflix hesitated to greenlight another season. I remember waiting for an announcement, and it felt like it took forever.

Season 3 was filmed during the pandemic, and if I recall correctly, Netflix cut the budget for visual effects. So, the season didn’t quite live up to the expectations set by Season 2. Regardless of its flaws, I enjoyed it, but I would have enjoyed it more if the writing hadn’t been so sloppy and, at times, cheesy.

But this last season? It feels like fanservice—and not even good fanservice. For example, the Lila and Five thing? The enhanced powers? The Jennifer Incident? All of it fell flat. Klaus’s storyline this season was basically what I wanted to see in Season 3, but it was delivered too late and added nothing meaningful to the plot.

But was the main plot really supposed to be about Jennifer? Who cares about introducing a new character in the final season instead of focusing on saying goodbye to the beloved main characters?

The subplots were boring. Klaus’s storyline was fanservice, but it felt like they just threw us a bone to appease years of fans asking for Klaus to get his comic powers. And it was insulting. Ben and Jennifer in love? Unrealistic and boring. The train station? Who came up with that cheap idea? I thought it would be a place built by Reggie, but there was no explanation at all.

The apocalypse no longer feels exciting or even important. There’s no sense of urgency anymore.

The family dynamics—the strongest part of this show—felt odd and weak. Pairing Viktor with Reginald was boring. Lila and Diego’s drama? Nonsense. And what was the point of Claire? I thought she would be the main conflict of the season, with everyone banding together to save a character we’ve known since Season 1, who has emotional ties to every Umbrella.

And where were the villains? To make it as interesting as Seasons 1 and 2, you need a great antagonist. Like Hazel and Cha-Cha, The Handler, Reginald, or even an antihero like the Sparrows, Harlan, or the Commission. Why not make Abigail the greatest threat? Or bring back some of the former villains?

What about resolving old family drama, so that if the show’s end was going to be the family sacrificing themselves, they could all go in peace?

Instead, they didn’t address Allison’s betrayal at all. They created a huge rift between Five and Diego. Nothing for Klaus and Ben. No Umbrella Ben. No Sloane. Why is Lila even here anymore? Why didn’t she just ditch out like Ray and leave Diego with the kids to be a single dad? That would’ve made more sense coming from Lila than from Ray, to be honest.

For me, the writers, producers, and directors knew this show was cancelled, so they didn’t even try anymore. For me, the ending of season 3 was meant to be the ending of the show.

I watched Game of Thrones after it ended, so I didn’t experience the same level of rage, disappointment, and betrayal that fans felt. But now, I do.

[alicenpai]

art summary through the years! i saw this going around and i wanted to play too, i always love doing these summaries.. template 🌹

my art became "i discovered the joy of drawing drapery and fabric in 2021 and never looked back" HAHA

looking at the early stuff, sometimes i really miss stylizing and drawing cartoons!! 2015 was the first year i started drawing cartoony stuff, pre-2015 was purely anime style. an updated art summary from 2010+ for me would be fun.

going back to the 1st sentence, stylizing just doesn't give me what i want from art anymore, it doesn't satisfy my art hunger haha (dungeon meshi joke.. iykyk). although it's still fun to experiment once in a while (e.g. merch). even if my current personal art is not very animation industry friendly or "hireable", i think i have a stronger notion of my "artistic" voice now more than before. (again, at least for personal art)

2020-2022 were rough years during the pandemic... i wanted to stop drawing so many times. i always say this, but during that time i went back and touched base with things i used to love as a teen, such as old anime (fma, pandora hearts, etc) that inspired me to pick up a pencil in the first place, and it helped to revitalize my love for art. and then i discovered drawing and studying fabric and i could never go back! i think my art is now more inspired by fine art history than cartoons hence the more realistic drapery...

one reason why i always change up my art style or technique every 2 ish years is that i kinda get bored of the same brushes easily... ive worried that using the same brushes gets boring and stale to people, but i think my art values are more or less consistent with how it was 3 years ago. i cycle through a set of like, 3 different brush sets (watercolour, pastel/lineless, and regular shading) depending on the mood of the drawing. different drawings call for different techniques you know?? and i think it's okay to use different tools for each drawing, art isn't meant to all be the same.

[dyketubbo]

right. so considering how this person talked about things (using wilbur and george as main examples, even liking a tweet of someone pointing out the irony of one of wilburs songs saying not to trust british men, notably someone who immediately believed the allegations against tubbo) its incredibly likely that this was someone whos bitter about wilbur and/or george and wanted to discredit shubble and caiti (not to mention others like lexie and andi who have also come out with their stories) as "allegations with no evidence". notably they point out the AI not acting like a boy, but nothing about the story implies the victim is a boy, its the profile having a woman's name, and since their account existed before this i dont think they had chatgpt come up with their username for this.

shubble and caiti didnt have "no evidence". they both had friends who could corroborate their stories, and even people who previously associated with the creators were able to confirm things. shubble's story actively mentioned wilbur hurting her in front of their shared friends, other ccs had experience with him biting or otherwise being rough with them, several ccs admitted that he was a horrible person to them too, wilburs ant infestation was talked about before shubble mentioned it in her story, several of shubbles friends were aware of her experience before she talked about it publicly. caiti's story included something personal about george (the tickling kink) that only people who had experience with him knew about (from what i know), george has openly admitted to not caring about hurting his friends on camera, and others were able to confirm that george talked inappropriately about them as well. wilbur and george both actively responded to each story even without their names being said because the stories were familiar enough to them that they didnt need to be said. they knew it was about them just based on what the victims said they were like.

its extremely fucked up to make a social experiment out of all of this, and i dont think it was really a social experiment out of any sort of academic interest in the first place. its a fake story made up to make actual victims seem unreasonable and dumb for coming out and being believed based on what this person believed was word alone. the very fact that they either didnt notice or just left in the obvious contradictions with the set up (accusing a gay man who cant drive of assaulting a girl while driving her home from a party in the pandemic, which he didnt leave his house during) actively shows that they believe the actual victims' stories are as "dumb" as this and genuinely believed that they didnt have actual weight to them. they truly did think there was "no evidence", that people were just spreading around baseless stories and taking them at face value, that no one even thought of innocent before guilty.

the only people who need to learn are the ones behind this story. but if there is anything to learn about on others ends, its to be aware of people like this who will discredit the victims' and accuse their stories of being dumb and lacking evidence, who will defend abusers with "innocent until proven guilty" while also targeting actual innocents. have actual victims in your heart and mind and dont let shit like this deter you from what actually matters: continuing to support real victims and paying attention to the issues that they bring up about misogyny, abuse of power, and the dangerous culture surrounding how victims are treated in this community by diehard fans of their abusers. this fake story and the mindset of the people behind it only shows just how far some people will go to try and discredit and downplay what shubble speaking up has started to do for this community

[nburkhardt]

Robin doesn’t know how Steve and Eddie does it.

She’s had them for all weekend and is so tired and drained, it was fun at first but by the second night she’s done. How the hell do they do this every single day? She’s only had three and a half days and she’s so drained and actually she kind of wants to cry.

Steve and Eddie decided to adopt a pair of sisters, biological at that. One is six and the other three. They’re adorable and energetic, Robin adores them. Spoils the hell out of them, actually.

Currently though? All she’d like is for them to go to sleep. More accurately, the six year old.

“When are daddy and dada coming home?”

“I miss daddy and dada”

“I hold their hands when I go to sleep”

“How many sleeps until they’re home?”

It’s a near endless loop of some phrase asking for Steve and Eddie. The three year old woke up the first night crying for Steve, nearly wouldn’t go back to sleep either. At one point Robin just stood next to her, wondering if maybe movement would cause another moment of “I miss daddy, I want daddy” from the little baby.

When Steve asked her to watch the girls for the weekend because Eddie’s band was asked for a special show up in Chicago, she was all for it. These are her girls, she loves them! Plus, Steve hardly has long weekends anymore. Being a full time teacher for the middle school now and part time coach. Eddie also didn’t play as much anymore, none of the boys actually. All of them too busy with their own lives and families. Eddie’s record shop is one of the best in town now, and he tutors new musicians.

So, when Steve mentioned it to her? She said yes, go have fun with his nerdy husband and his band. The girls will be fine.

Well, she kind of regrets that now. The six year old, Charlotte, is a lot like her. Can’t stop moving, wants to play all the time, has a million questions. The three year old, Melody, despite not being biological Eddie’s is his mini me. And by that, she means the little girl is a wild card. She’s a cat in human form, doesn’t stop either and somehow worse than Charlotte. Her words are still coming out funny and Robin mimics her all the time. Both of them are definitely obsessed with their parents, normally she loves it. Loves seeing these two little girls get the world handed to them by her best friends, loves seeing Steve and Eddie heal themselves by being the best damn parents.

But after this long weekend? She needs a break from these girls. “Come on Charlie, just close your eyes and go to sleep”

Charlotte rolls over on the floor to look up at her, “I hold my daddy’s hand when I go to sleep”

She nods, “okay, you’ve said this, I don’t know how much I believe it but alright. They’ll be home tomorrow I swear. You go to sleep now, you’ll go to school and by the time you get out, they’ll be home!”

She hopes they’ll be home by then, Steve never gave her a time and at this point she’s hoping that they’ll actually be here by morning. She’d really liked to take a day just to sleep it away.

(Steve and Eddie end up surprising Charlotte at school to pick her up. Melody is still too young for school, so she squeals when they walk in through her front door.)

~~

Don’t ask for a time period. I just wanted to get out some frustration because this was me all weekend. Though unlike Robin, I’ve been around kids longer but my god was this weekend rough. I think my nieces have a bit of separation anxiety (probably due to when we were on lockdown for the pandemic) and a lot of the quotes I used here are real. Oh and the part where ‘Melody’ woke up crying for Steve? Yeah that really happened. at one point I legit was just standing awkwardly waiting for my niece to start crying again 🫠 (my sister & brother in law weren’t at a concert though. Just took a weekend away for their anniversary lmao)

[stardresstaurus]

Recovery Time - A NaLu OneShot

Summary: after a rough battle and the absence of Wendy, Lucy finds it difficult to recover on her own. (also posted on my Wattpad)

This is the first NaLu fic I’ve written since pre-pandemic!

There's a haze among the guild. It's hot, it feels like it's never been warmer. To Lucy, the world has a bit of a shake to it, like the heat is causing the floor and air to boil. She knows that's not the case, however it doesn't keep her from groaning and resting her forehead on the warm, rough surface of the wooden table. She looks down at her thighs and counts the colorful bruises one at a time, the team had returned from a mission the other day but Wendy had been called on to help a group of Magnolia citizens after an attack on the harbor, meaning the group was left to defend for themselves when it came to healing.

She felt some weight place itself next to her at the table. "You okay Lucy," Erza asked her. Erza had managed to be dressed down that day, wearing a t shirt and shorts as she mended her armor.

"Hmm? Yeah, I think so."

"You seem really out of it," Erza stated. She watched Lucy's shoulders slowly rise and fall as her fingers traced a scab on her knee. "I think maybe you should see Porlyusica, something might be wrong." The attention Erza was giving her had been noticed by both Gray and Natsu, who had halted their bickering in order to see what the issue was. When questioned, she simply stated that Lucy was in a daze.

"She's probably just hot," Gray stated, "it is kinda warm out today." Natsu chuckled, hearing Cana make a quip about how the ice boy could actually feel heat, then turning to Juvia saying, "maybe he'll notice the heat you have for him too." Erza placed a hand onto Lucy's shoulder and it was not until the moment when Lucy's body wavered and she had to prop herself up with one of her arms that the rest of the team took the situation seriously.

Natsu took her arm and wrapped it up behind his shoulders, he lifted her as she got to her feet. "C'mon Luce," he said simply. He took her by the arm and helped pull her up onto his back. Lucy didn't have the energy to argue just nodded and said her good-byes to the guild, everyone wishing her well. Happy flew up beside her, concern painted lightly across his face.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"But you're not acting like yourself. Are you hurt that badly?"

"I don't think so," Lucy replied. She thought about it though, maybe she was. But she was so used to getting hurt that the pain was never as bad as it used to be, and she was so used to being healed after a battle that she rarely had to go through a recovery process anymore. Maybe that was the issue, her body wasn't able to recover quickly on its own anymore. "Where are we going?" She asked. Her question had Natsu stop in his tracks.

"I have no idea."

"What do you mean you have no idea?"

"I kinda just assumed we'd end up somewhere."

Lucy groaned, "let's just go to my apartment." The walk there Happy hovered above, continuously asking Lucy questions about how she was doing. She responded as best as she could, but a part of her wanted him to just be quiet, even for a few minutes. She hoped Natsu would say something, but if he said anything it was a question that followed up Happy's. He did fall silent, however, along the river. Lucy rested her cheek against his back and watch the rays of sunlight flicker off the miniature waves of water. Magnolia was quiet this afternoon. Over the sounds of the water flowing against the stone boundaries, she listened to the wooden wheels of carts creek to and from the market. The peacefulness of it all, had Lucy yearning for sleep, despite Natsu's grip on her, keeping her from falling off. On his back, his hands were clenched onto her thighs. If she hadn't been as tired as she was in that moment, she may have tried to shout at him to move his hands. But in this moment, she was happy for the moment of intimacy. It was always easier to be close to him when no one was around.

Not necessarily sexual, no. Really just the feeling of having someone so close, that you cared so much for and who cared so much for you, being able to show that care in more than just words. Words can be faked, but there was some truth in the physical acts. She turned her head so her face was directly on his back. With her eyes closed, she could smell him. He smelled burnt, but not like faded campfire or grilled barbecue like he normally did. It reminded her of a cologne her dad used to wear when her mother was still alive, like sage and bergamot. But there was a spice to him, because of course there was, it was Natsu.

Without much thought she turned her face from the river view into his hair, which felt soft against her skin. She took in a deep breath, cinnamon. With her eyes closed, she nuzzled against him. An act that, if she were in better shape, she would have been embarrassed to do. Normally, she was  determined to hide her affections. Today however was different. Let me have this, she thought. "Lucy?" 

"Hm?" She perked up, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Can I have your key?"

As she dug her key out of her pocket she tried to get off his back, but Natsu tightened his grip. It was a silent disagreement. He carried her up to her apartment, not letting her down until they were inside. Once her feet were on the ground, she trudged to her bathroom, forcing down any feeling of anxiety or embarrassment she had. A bath would help, she told herself.

The boy and the cat had settled themselves on her living room floor, Happy sighed gratefully as he plugged in the fan and it was brought to a monotonous life. She could hear the two mumble at each other like a pair of birds on a railing as she turned on her faucet. The somewhat warm water invigorated the soap and bubbles began to build across the surface. Taking off the clothes that stuck to her skin like glue from the sweat, she slowly let herself slip into the tub, the calm of the water enveloped her like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. Resting on her side, she hummed a soft tune to herself, purely out of comfort, and watched her bathroom door. 

As she tried to focus on anything else, her anxieties came back tenfold. He's your friend, a teammate, you can't have these kinds of feelings. Of course, she had no idea that Natsu was sitting outside, thinking about how it felt to have his partner's lips pressed against him through the collar of his jacket. Of course, neither of them were on the same page. Lucy tried to focus again on the door as she tried to remember the lyrics to a song. You're holding me and holding back, I don't really care for that, just you. She had noticed for the first time the paint around the frame was beginning to chip. Her eyes began to hood themselves as she soaked, all the comfort in that moment could only bring her so much energy.

When she opened her eyes again, however, she was shivering. Her immediate thought was to get out of the bath but as she took in her surroundings, she realized she was already in her bed. In one of her spare nightgowns her duvet was sprawled across her, with an extra blanket on top. As her body continued to shake she pulled the blanket up to her chin and curled her legs up to her chest.

"You fell asleep in the tub," a voice from the kitchen said. Natsu leaned out so she could see him.

The events began to process in Lucy's mind. "You saw me naked? You dressed me?"

"You ask that like it's never happened before." He had gone back into the kitchen, she could hear water boiling in her kettle. Why did he have to be so nonchalant about it, every time. 

"Don't blow up my kitchen!"

"I know how to make tea!" He said, replicating the energy she had in her concern. He reappeared with two mugs of tea, holding both by the rim rather than the handle. He handed one to Lucy who took it with many thanks. She sat up, resting against her headboard and pillow as Natsu sat at the edge of the bed. With her mug brought up to her lips, she kept her gaze on him, watching his movements. He seemed focused on something. Not really staring at anything in particular, his gaze was steady as his eyes glazed over. 

"Where'd Happy go?" Lucy asked after taking a long sip of her tea. He seemed to be brought back to reality at the sound of her voice. 

"Huh? Oh, He went to see Wendy and Carla. He wanted to see if she could help you." Lucy couldn't tell, but Natsu had been especially worried. Ever since Tartaros, he had become aware of sensitive he was to Lucy's well being. She was strong, a terrific fighter and a great friend. But once he realized it was possible to loose her forever, every battle and every hit felt almost like a step closer to an end. He took the time to try to be closer and more attentive to her well being. 

To be perfectly honest, he was even happy just being in her apartment. When he first started barging in, it was purely because he wanted to be with his friend and her apartment was always a clean, welcoming space. Now it felt like a seclusion, a comfort in a world that willing to erase anything and everything. It was a space that had become synonymous with safety to him. He almost indulged the soft, sweet, floral scent of the apartment and the golden light that fell through the bare wooden framed windows. 

He felt a tug on the blanket he was sitting on and turning his gaze towards Lucy he noticed her moving closer to the edge of her bed and lifting up the corner of her duvet, she was making room for him. He moved up the bed and sat next to her as she flipped the corner over his lap. 

"Thank you for taking care of me today," she said, "I know it's probably not how you wanted to spend your afternoon." 

"Don't worry about it, it's probably for the best anyway." He said, taking a sip from his mug. Immediately embarrassed, and gradually becoming annoyed, Lucy looked into the depths of her mug. 

"You're welcome to leave, if Happy shows up here again I'll let him know you left." She expected him to say, in a minute, or to take the opportunity to go back to the guild. Anything but what he did. He slid his right arm under and around her left, the rough canvas of the bandages rubbed against her soft skin. He leaned his head to the side, resting it against her. In that moment, they were simply two tired teammates allowing themselves to rest against each other. 

Natsu wondered how small she was. Not that she was tiny, but compared to him she was like a china doll. Porcelain limbs and shinning glass eyes, a woman who should have been kept on a pedestal rather than thrown into a battlefield. But, then again, Lucy had personally jumped from that pedestal. Personally thrown herself in the most dangerous situations, often for the people she cared so deeply for. And after everything, the cracks in the glass would heal and the eyes would widen again. She would always be the stronger than he ever knew, and he knew she could do anything. 

He would never admit it, but he was worried this time. When all was said and done after the job, he couldn't find Lucy at the end. In recent months she would always be there at the end, offering him a hand or support. She wasn't this time. He had found her in the woods, propped up against a hollowing tree, gazing at him and smiled. The words, you're okay, I'm so glad! came out as a whisper, he hardly heard her. She had fallen asleep against him as he carried her back to meet with the rest of the team. The whole trip home, she only said a few words to him. He hoped she would've been better today. But she was still only a faded version of her usual self. 

Lucy moved her hand towards his, running her thumb back and forth across his palm. Things can go back to normal later. For now she was at peace enjoying his company, and he was at peace knowing she was there. 

[welldonebeca]

Strawberry Jam

Summary: Bucky comforts you after you have a rough day at work. Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader WC: 3.1k words Warnings: Smut. Fluff. Emotional Hurt/Comfort. Vaginal fingering. Dirty talk. Vaginal sex. Unprotected sex. Wife kink. Marriage Kink. Overstimulation. Multiple orgasms. Passionate sex.

Writing is my only source of Income in this pandemic. If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my Patreon. It’s just $2 a month and helps a lot while I go through these hard times.

Bucky mixed the gooey hot red am with the wooden spoon, breathing in deep to get the sweet smell, ready to pot them up.

He was doing this especially for you - you loved homemade jam with all your heart, and ate it almost every day. The jar you had at home was now empty, however, and he was trying his best to make a version of it.

Bucky had just come back from the farmer’s market, where he had gone to buy more fruits and veggies for just the third week in a row. They didn’t have your beloved strawberry jam there, but the seller was nice enough to give him the basic recipe to make it at home.

Your new house routine was something he was just starting to get used to. The two of you had moved in together recently, a little over a month ago. Bucky had left the compound, retired at last, and now his days were filled with being whatever version of a non-married househusband he could be while just your boyfriend. His retirement pension was enough for him to live on his own forever, and your job wasn’t bad either.

So right now, you two had a lot of plants, a dog and a moody cat, and no couch yet, and were planning to get married in the next couple of years - he was looking for a ring, actually.

And speaking of your dog, Phoebe was watching him with a lot of curiosity and pleading eyes, always the hungry girl, and Bucky scoffed, leaving the jar and picking up a strawberry from the counter, taking off the green part before tossing it to her, moving right back to putting the jam in the jar, realising quickly he needed a second one when half of the jam was still in the pan.

Once he finished, he was very proud of what he saw.

It looked good, it smelled good, and he was sure it tasted good too.

Maybe he should bake something to eat with that jam. Maybe biscuits?

Or bread.

He really liked baking home bread. His favourite was sourdough.

Bucky was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard the sound of the door opening and Phoebe’s paws on the floor as she ran to greet you, overexcited as always.

He waited to hear you come over and say hi, but the house kept silence aside from a few mumbles as you said hi to Phoebe and Alpine, probably with some kisses.

Finally, you walked to the kitchen and leaned onto the door frame, looking at him with a sad and weak smile.

“Hey,” you spoke softly.

His shoulders fell in a when he realised the sadness behind your voice.

“Hi," Bucky cleaned his hand, moving to you.

He pressed a little kiss to your lips, worried, and you sighed a little.

You were a lawyer, which was a very tasking job, and sometimes mined your whole energy, or took a little more of your heart than you were initially willing to give.

Recently, you’d been working on the case of a kid who had had to go through a second amputation surgery after an accident in a restaurant months after his first imputation, both on the same leg. The family was suing for the legal and medical expenses, which included his therapy, and monetary compensation that would be used for the boy’s tuition once he decided to go to college.

“What happened?” he asked gently, raising his hand to caress your hair.

“They want to test the ramp of the restaurant,” you told him. “To see if it was possible for him to fall.”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded slowly.

“But they renovated the whole place!” you pointed you, growing angry. “And put a handle that wasn’t there that day. Mr Green’s sister took pictures while the ambulance was called! It looks completely different!”

He reached for your face, caressing your cheek gently.

“And what did the judge say?”

“He wants to analyse the photos before saying anything,” you sighed. “And a second medical opinion. They want this kid to go through a whole medical evaluation again!”

He reached for you, caressing your cheek.

“I’m sure they’ll be reasonable and careful,” he assured you. “The doctors know it is a complicated moment for him. And his dads are going to be there.”

You sighed, pinching your nose.

“They are also insinuating his dads were neglectful with him and that was why he fell,” you added. “I swear to God, that restaurant…”

You hid your face in his chest and groaned.

“I hate them,” you whined.

“I know,” he caressed your hair.

There was a moment of silence, and you moved your head up slowly, resting your mouth on his shoulder and looking behind him, into the kitchen.

“Is that homemade jam?” you asked, mumbling against his shirt.

Bucky threw a look at the counter.

“Yes,” he confirmed, looking back at you, a little excited for his effort being noticed. “I just made it.”

You groaned once again, though softer, against his skin.

“Did you make it yourself?” you asked.

“I did,” he told you, grinning. “Do you want to try it once it is cooler?”

You nodded, and he kissed your temple.

“Do you want me to prepare you a bath?” he offered. “And we can leave work to work?”

You sighed.

“Yes,” you mumbled. “Please.”

Bucky kissed your forehead again, slowly moving down to kiss your nose and then your lips.

He took your hand and walked with you into your bedroom, leaving you behind to set up your bath, filling up the tub and adding the bubbles and the rose oil to the slowly growing water.

He heard the sounds of your steps behind him, and raised his head to find you watching him from the door, fully naked, lips curled in a little teasing smile.

“Hey,” you rested your head on the door frame. “Still dressed?”

It didn’t matter how long you were together, Bucky was proud to never get used to seeing you naked. Seeing you never ceased to fully enchant him.

Bucky looked at himself, a little surprised at the question.

“I wasn’t planning to get inside, actually,” he looked at your face.

You feigned outrage.

“Me?” you asked, exaggerated. “On my own? In this big tub?”

Bucky scowled, and you pouted.

“It’s going to be so lonely!” you remarked. “And cold.”

He chuckled.

“In this warm water?” he asked.

“But so vast,” you teased him. “Without my husband with me.”

Bucky’s cock awoke with the little word.

Your husband.

Oh, how he loved being called your husband.

The two of you were planning to be married in the near future and were practically engaged now, but the title was still something he wanted to conquer, and loved hearing from your lips.

You reached down for him, pulling him to stand up, and Bucky held you closer as you threw your hands on his shoulders, squeezing him.

“Don’t you want to come inside with me?” you bit his lower lip. “Keep me company?”

He hummed, chuckling, and knew he couldn’t just say no to you.

“Of course, wife,” he gave your lips a peck.

You giggled, and stepped away, leaning on the counter and watching him as he took off his clothes, kicking off his shoes, pants and underwear all in one go, earning a little chuckle from you.

“Impatient?” you asked, grinning.

He just chuckled along with you.

“Always,” he shot you a playful wink.

Bucky leant to you again, holding your hips and caressing your skin with his fingers.

“Come on, wife,” he nudged you in the right direction. “Let’s get you in your bath.”

He stepped away from you, and let you take his hand as you stepped into the full tub and knelt, waiting for him to come and sit, and Bucky entered right after, relaxing at the feeling of the warm water against his skin right before you leant to rest against him, sighing.

“What do you think?” he kissed your temple. “Good?”

You nodded and he put his hand over your stomach, pulling you a little closer, and kissed your shoulder.

“You are a great lawyer,” he squeezed you. “And I’m very proud of you and of what you do.”

You whined, putting your hand over his, sounding both boomed and embarrassed.

“Bucky!” you rolled your eyes.

“I mean it!” he exclaimed.

You just shook your head.

“I don’t think so,” you breathed out. “I feel like I could do more for them.”

“Like what?” he caressed your skin gently with the hand he had on your stomach.

Bucky waited for an answer, but you grimaced, apparently not finding anything you hadn’t already done for the family you were representing.

“You have done a lot,” he kissed your temple. “Now it’s not in your hands anymore.”

You sighed and rested your head on his shoulder, and Bucky slowly moved the fingers he had on your stomach to your breast, running them on the flesh and plump bottom of it.

“You should relax,” he whispered into your ear. “Let your husband help you relax, wife.”

You squirmed, cheeks flushing in a blush.

“Bucky,” you threw your head back a little bit.

He caressed your breast slowly, massaging it and reaching for your nipple, pulling on it slowly and making you whimper.

“My pretty wife,” he touched your other breast, doing the same to it, teasing and playing with your sensitive peaks. “Such a hard-working woman, the one I found for myself.”

You arched your chest to his hands, exhaling in a very soft sound.

“You work so hard,” he played with your nipples, watching your body squirming and shivering, reacting to his touches.

He trailed one of his hands down to your hips, and felt you spreading your legs under the water.

“My pretty wife,” he kissed your neck. “A big shot lawyer…”

You giggled, and he spread your inner lips and folds, already finding them slicky and wet.

“So sensitive for her husband,” he touched your entrance.

You arched your hips, whimpering a little, and he kissed your shoulder.

“Always making me so proud…” he tapped your clit softly. “But never relaxing.”

“Bucky…” you whined.

You pouted, squirming and moaning, and he hummed along with you, kissing the sweet spots of your neck.

He could feel the difference between the actual water and your wetness, even underwater. Your pussy was slick, warm and welcoming, and practically hugged his finger tightly when he pushed it into your cunt, and you whimpered when he took his finger up to your clit again, rolling it slowly.

“Such a lovely cunt,” he cooed into your ear, fingers picking up their pace. “I can feel it drooling for me even with the water, my pretty wife. You’re always so responsive to me.”

You moaned, arching your body to him, and he squeezed your tit in his hand, reaching for your stiff nipple and pulling on it, twisting it, grinning as he watched your face twisting and heard the mix of a gasp and a moan coming from your lips.

“Such perfect tits,” he kissed the curve of your neck. “And a perfect cunt, so hungry and so receptive.”

You continued to moan and squirm, with his name falling from your lips along with your little sounds, as his fingers never stopped to play and tease your clit and tit.

He knew he was going to be gladly buried in there tonight, licking and sucking your folds, taking orgasm after orgasm from you until you were a wreck, foggy eyed and only able to say his name.

But right now, you were having a relaxing bath, and he was never going to stop his perfect wife from relaxing.

So he played you like you were his favourite instrument - which you were - as he whispered sweet dirty words into your ears and felt your body moving and heard your moans growing, and held you down when your hips started thrusting against his hand.

“You’re gonna cum, my pretty wife?” he kissed your shoulder. “Gonna cum for your husband?”

“Yes,” you cried. “Yes, Bucky, please.”

He picked up on his pace, holding you down as you came, quivering and shaking, crying out loud.

You were still quivering when he stood up, picking you up and walking back to your bedroom, and threw you on the bed.

“Bucky!” you squeaked, giggling.

James climbed on top of you, not caring about how your bodies were getting everything wet, and kissed your lips hungrily.

“My pretty wife,” he kissed your neck, moving down and kissing your chest before he grabbed your knee, pushing it up.

You pushed your fingers into his hair, pulling him right back and kissing him, and he angled his cock, pushing it into your cunt and resting his forehead on his when you gasped. He’d been hard since you sat between his legs in the tub.

Fuck, you were so wet, so warm.

“Bucky,” you closed your eyes.

“My wife,” he grunted against your lips, thrusting into you. “Always so wet for me.”

You arched your hips, meeting his strokes, already sensitive from your previous orgasm, as your cunt squeezed his cock, hungry and slicky. It was so easy for him to make you cum. Bucky loved taking and taking them from you, making you scream for him.

So he took his fingers to your cunt, and played with your clit, devouring your lips and your moans as he worked on making you feel good, and pulled back to look at your face when you inhaled deeply.

It was an image he truly adored, the way cheeks flushed, and your eyes closed, and your lips parted as you found your way over the edge.

The walls of your cunt fluttered around his cock, and he had to hold himself from cumming for a split of a moment, completely taken by you.

And then you pulled him back, kissing him with even more hunger than before, moving your body to get closer to him, and pouted when he pulled away from you.

“Husband,” you whined.

Bucky grunted at the name, throbbing inside you, and took his lips down to your neck, sucking on it before pushing his lips to your chest. The position you two were before didn’t make it easy for him to access them, but now they were right in front of him.

He bit the flesh of your tits for a moment, and then your nipple, and bit down on it gently before sucking on your flesh.

He loved sucking marks on your skin, marking you, to make everyone know you were his. It was sad that he needed to keep his bruises a little hidden because of your job.

As long as you knew it and they reminded you of how you were his, it was enough.

“Bucky,” you arched your chest.

“Want to make you feel good,” he rolled your clit in his finger, earning a whimper from you.

He pinched your clit a little and chuckled when you squeaked, cunt fluttering around his cock again, and your sounds made it even more obvious how you were already near the edge.

“James!” you gasped, arching your body to him. “Oh, fuck.”

“You’re gonna cum again?” he asked, smiling at you. “Already, baby?”

You pouted.

“Want to cum together,” you affirmed, moving your fingers on his back and running your nails over his skin. “Please, husband.”

He looked back at your face and rubbed his nose on yours.

“Please,” you panted. “I want to make you feel good.”

Your cunt squeezed his cock, getting wetter and warmer.

“Y/N,” he grunted.

He was holding himself back for quite a bit of time. Bucky wanted to ravish you, to make you come apart.

Still, you pulled him up, and kissed him.

“Please,” you moaned. “Together.”

How could he say no?

Bucky angled himself, resting his forehead on yours and moaning when your walls squeezed him, joining you in your soft wanton cries.

“Cum with me,” you pleaded. “Please, husband. Fill me up.”

He grunted, squeezing you close as he thrust into you, letting his eyes close and his body take him.

“With me,” he grunted, playing faster with your clit. “Cum with me. Milk my cock.”

You pulled him up to kiss him, moaning into his lips as your cunt started squeezing around him, triggering his orgasm along with yours, and he rode it fucking you, faster and faster, and slowly down little by little.

Bucky had his eyes closed when you kissed him, first his nose and then his jaw, and then his lips again, brushing his hair with your fingers.

He pulled himself from inside you and laid by your side, pulling you to his chest and kissing your temple, moving his fingers up and down your back.

“Rest a little,” he instructed. “I still want to devour your cunt.”

You laughed into his neck, amused, but Bucky scowled, reaching down and pinching your ass.

“I mean it!” he insisted.

You raised your head to look at him, pressing your lips to his and giving him a hungry kiss.

“I can’t wait,” you assured him.

You lied back, but pulled back with a surprised face when you seemed to realise something.

“Bucky, I almost forgot!” you exclaimed. “The Greens invited me to Joshua’s birthday and said I could take my partner with me.”

He raised his eyebrows, a little surprised, and you moved your hand to metal hand, interlacing your fingers with his.

“I want to go,” you told him, firmly. “But you don’t have to come if you didn’t want to. I know you don’t like parties.”

Parties were noisy, and he wasn’t that big of a fan of noise. But the invitation had been extended not just to you, but to him too.

He was about to answer when an idea sparked in his mind.

“Would they mind if I brought one of the guys?” he asked. “Do you think the boy would like to meet one of the Avengers?”

It was your turn to look a little surprised. It wasn’t like you made your relationship with Bucky public. The few pictures you had with him in your office had a remarkable lack of his face and arm in them, to keep his privacy intact. He doubted anyone ever made such a connection.

“I can ask them,” you told him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I’m sure Tony will be happy to send a fun gift, and either Sam or Steve are happy to show up. Or Clint, too.”

You nodded, laying back down.

“Okay, I’ll ask them about it.”

Bucky kissed your cheek again, and squeezed you close with his right arm.

“Come on,” he bit your lower lip, chuckling a little with the joke in his own mind. “Let’s get you something to eat before it’s my turn to eat you.”

. . .

"Strawberry Jam" was posted on my Patreon back in July! To Have early access to all of my fic, consider subscribing! It's just $2 a month!

. . .

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[yeonkimintakecare]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader; Angsty Fluff

Summary: You and Yoongi are going through a rough patch in your relationship while you guys decide to go out with your friends.

Author's Note: This is actually an old posting from an old instagram account I used to post stories from. I just figured I'd post them on here as I'm getting back into writing again. I wrote these like 3 years ago now and I was usually drunk when I did it (it was during the pandemic, so I was always at least tipsy, sorry about it lol.)

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that my writing is not always great in these but I still like the stories anyways. I hope ya'll like it, I'm working on a longer fic rn, and trying to get my old work posted on my AO3 account as well.

Warnings: Alcohol mentioned, some fighting, drunk rando non-consensual dancing, implied sex (sorry I didn't really write smut back then. Still don't really.)

You release the last curl in your hair before finishing it with hairspray. You normally wouldn’t go through the trouble of doing your hair this well for the club, but with Min Yoongi as your boyfriend, you knew you weren’t going to dance much. You throw on your heels before leaving the room, you see Yoongi sitting on the couch. He looks up from his phone, you give him a twirl, he just looks at you with confusion.

“Why did you do your hair?” He asks with a scrunched up face.

“Is it a crime for me to curl my hair? Will the world end because I used hair spray?” You ask rhetorically, already annoyed that he’s picking a fight. Yoongi just sighed and grabbed the keys. You follow him out the door and into the car. You both sit there, listening to the radio. You want to say something, you really don’t want to be fighting all night, then you really won’t get to have any fun tonight.

“Listen baby.” You say while grabbing his thigh. “I just wanted to dress up for once, and when your first reaction was to ask me why I had dressed up instead of saying something nice, I got upset. I should’ve stayed calm. I’m sorry.”

Then he grunted a hmph in response. You just apologized for something that was barely your fault, and he can’t even give a response that’s more than a noise? You take your hand off of his thigh and cross your arms. You guys begin to park for the club, when you walk out you immediately see your friends, Yeona, and Seokjin. You run up to them, hugging them both.

“Y/N! Are you ready to party?” Yeona yells excitedly. Being around her cheery self immediately brings your mood up. You laugh in response and you guys continue to chat, Yoongi being quiet this whole time.

You guys finally get into the club and when the music hits your ears you can’t help but sway to it, even if you aren’t on the dance floor yet. You guys find a table and you grab Yoongi’s hand, still wanting to reconcile to have an enjoyable night, he holds your hand back rubbing the back of it. This was as much as you were probably going to get out of him, but that was okay, because at least this meant he might dance a little bit and maybe you to could, you know, make up at home later. Seokjin makes it to the table holding drinks, he hands one to you.

“I got you a vodka cranberry!” He yells over the loud music while sliding into the booth next to you. Yeona follows him setting a beer in front of Yoongi and sipping her own drink while she sits next to Seokjin. They would make such a cute couple if only one of them would back up and make the first move.

“Thank you! It’s my favorite!” You yell trying to lean closer to his ear. You feel Yoongi jerk his hand out of yours. You turn to him and he’s drinking his beer and looking away from you.

“Why are you acting like this” you say into his ear.

“Act like what?” He asks with an attitude. You scoff, he knows what he’s doing.

“Whatever I’m going to go dance.” You chug your drink and you, Yeona, and Seokjin decide to go dance. You close your eyes and try to not think about how angry you are. Yeona and Seokjin drift farther away from you, but you don’t really notice, you were too distracted by the music. You came to the club so that you could dance and have fun with your friends and Yoongi was ruining it. You loved him with all of your heart, but moments like this made you want to walk away. You understood he isn’t always great at communication, but it was still frustrating. Your thoughts are interrupted by somebody dancing behind you. When you realize it’s some random guy, you stop dancing to tell him to back off, but you feel a strong hand grab onto your arm. You look up to see Yoongi, he pushes the guy away from you and drags you to the public restroom.

“What the fuck Y/N?” He yells at you while locking the door.

“What do you mean? I was just about to tell him off! I didn’t do anything wrong.” You yell back. You can’t believe this, he really did just want to fight with you tonight. It doesn’t matter if you did something wrong or not, he would find a reason to be mad or blame it on you.

“You were just asking for attention from other guys tonight. Look at your hair and especially that dress.” He continues to scream while gesturing at the red, formfitting dress you were wearing. You feel fire fill your throat and your eyes begin to water.

“What I wear has nothing to do with impressing random men at a club and everything to do with wanting to look pretty to myself, dickhead. Also if there was any guy I wanted to impress it was you, but you’ve been acting like a jerk all night. You could’ve at least given me a compliment when I came downstairs, but no, you just made assumptions about my fucking hair.” You scoff, knowing your eyes have tears in them and doing your best to continue to look cool and also wipe your face. His look softens at the sight of you crying, realizing that he was being a dickhead. Not just for not believing in you, but also for not standing up for you.

“I’m sorry. I just feel like you dressed up because you wanted to impress Seokjin. I got jealous thinking you were trying to impress him.” Yoongi says, you appreciate him finally apologizing for his behavior, but you were still mad. You were mad that he even thought you would cheat on him, he was your whole world. You were also mad that he couldn’t communicate his insecurities to you. But somehow all of this melted away when he grabbed your arms and gave you a hug. You stood there, originally stiff but slowly melting into the hug. He adds “I really am sorry that I don’t always communicate with you, I will work on it.”

You smile, you pull him from you, he looks sad for a second. You lean in and kiss him. You can feel him smiling as he deepens the kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around your waist. He grabs your bottom and grabs your *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED*

You walk out of the bathroom, the line of people waiting scowling at the two of you, but you don’t care. The two of you walk back to the booth to see Yeona and Seokjin making out, like really going for it. The two of you decide to order another drink.

While you sip your drink you dance provocatively on Yoongi. Hoping that once you guys get home you can repeat what happened in the bathroom. Yoongi leans in and whispers into your ear “I just want to say you look fantastic. I especially love your hair.” You laugh while turning around to wrap your arms around him again. The two of you continue to dance with your foreheads touching.

I guess your hair did get ruined by the end of the night. Amongst other things.

[saintjosie]

I'm gonna jump in the discourse lol, I don't pass as a trans woman and I don't think I'll care to. But demilypyro was advocating for living as your best self, she happens to be in a country that funded her transition? But other than that she's like poor too. Idk it feels like everyone's just looking for trouble because she was responding to hate with snark

okay people really don’t get this so i’m gonna tell y’all a story. my story.

i’m a trans woman with a fuckload of privilege. i’m pretty, i’m passing, and i have a platform, but most importantly, i had the privilege of starting my transition when i was financially stable on my own in largely supportive environments. and i recognize these things now but i didn’t always.

i started my transition in may of 2020, during the height of lockdown. and at that time, i was working a cushy corporate salaried desk job with full benefits which included both therapy and gender affirming care. i got on hrt quickly, and because of good genes, because masculine asian features are regarded as feminine in western beauty standards, because i’m really fucking good at makeup, and because i was working from home and there was no where to go, i was able to stop boymoding by october of 2020, about 6 months after i started hrt.

and then around that same time, i had another stroke of luck. i made a tiktok about coming out at work, which i did in the most extra way imaginable, and that tiktok went viral. it got 300k views and overnight i went from having 150 followers on tiktok to several thousand. and a less than a year later, that grew to 100k.

that year was rough as hell. i transitioned during a time where going out into the world to find community was impossible. and i lost my job. and i got divorced. and i cut out my family. and because of all of that, i felt like i was doing better than a lot of other trans people. cause i was facing hardships and still doing incredible.

but even so, i was longing for community that would validate and accept me the way that i was validated and accepted online. and so over the next year, i moved across the country three times, something i was able to do only because i was able to afford it

during that year i finally started to get out and meet queer people as the pandemic slowed down. and as i connected with queer and trans people in varying stages on their own journey, i realized the enormous privilege of being able to transition, afford therapy, afford my meds, afford moving to a place where i could find community. i wasn’t just “better at being trans”, i was just luckier than most.

being able to accept being trans is so dependent on having the support structure around you to process what you are feeling. being able to socially transition is dependent on having the people around you who will accept your identity and being in a place where you are able to do so safely. being able to medically transition is dependent on having the physical health and financial stability to do so.

privilege is something that needs to be constantly dismantled within our community because privilege is the main weapon that is used to oppress us.

the fact that this demily person made a snide sarcastic comment doesn’t change the fact that she sought out a person without a following to shit on someone without a following. the inherent privilege of saying something like, “i’m better at being trans” even if she didn’t mean it seriously, shows that she doesn’t recognize the privilege of being in a place where you can learn to accept yourself.

and on top of all that because she’s a person with a following and a platform, the danger of that kind of thinking compounds and is worth calling out.

i’m not misunderstanding her intentions or the context.

you are misunderstanding privilege.

[heavenfell-au]

✦ Memory Lane contest results ✦

First off, I want to thank the people that partook in the contest ! I can hardly imagine having to pick only one scene from my own story, so kudos to each one of you for managing to do it !

Now, without further ado, here's the first submission that was submitted on Discord, realized by Arplenoon !

« TW: Blood, injury, disturbing imagery

I got into Undertale and read Heavenfell back around 2020 and early 2021. There were a lot of things that happened to me in that time that deeply hurt me, separate from the anxiety of the pandemic, but probably had been brought on by it's pressures. Needless to say, I was having it rough. Abandoned, stalked and harassed by my former friends, I let my mind escape into Undertale AUs. Undertale AUs let me forget about myself. Going to work was hard. I'd sit in the breakroom, curled up, trying not to let my thoughts consume me- and often failing. It was during that time, huddled in one of the bigger chairs at work, I read Heavenfell every day for a week.

It was cathartic for me, and helped me process a lot of what I was going through. Even though I wasn't anywhere close to the same situation Frisk found themself in, the scenes where they spiraled in thoughts about their life on the surface resonated with me- Because that was me, tormented by the same demons. Someone knew what I was going through, and I wasn't alone.

I can confidently say that because of that I'm still here today.

Thank you. »

I can already tell you that this hits hard. You've selected a scene from Their Wings that hits very close to home, and I absolutely adore the way you've depicted Frisk's torments, which each bone digging into them carved with words that the ghosts of their past said, cutting them through and through. I love the fact that those bones, along with the vivid red of their clothes, blood and their soul tearing apart pop out against the darkness that surrounds them, all that that giant skeletal hands are craddling them in their palms, giving the sensation that they're at the mercy of death itself as they scream in absolute despair, or in that case, Sans if not both of the skeleton brothers. I really appreciate that we can also see the remnants of Flowey, illustrated here, reminding us the impact of his loss in the story, that he was Frisk's guardian but also their best friend, leaving them stranded in their time of need. There are so many little details here and there that tell about that specific part of Frisk's story, making such an impactful delivery of the message, alongside with the silhouettes that haunt them in their turmoil, ever so faded and yet, very present.

For the technique, it's an amazing artpiece made with watercolors. It's such a difficult media for me to handle, and it's always so mesmerizing to see you realize one of them, and this time, having to handle with so many shades of black. I wish I had an ounce of patience and technique that you have when handling that medium, making me all the more admirative of your craft. The execution is great, for the colors are vibrant against the deep shades of black, and I'm always admirative of people that are able to use that paint type without their paper curling, which requires some type of preparation and knowledge ! The result of this gorgeous illustration, with that particular attention to the red and white colors clashing with the deep black makes it absolutely chilling and nerve-wracking, even more so with how well you illustrated Frisk's agony. You could almost hear their screams. Gorgeous, I'm devouring this work of art. It is delicious.

Next submission is from Cao-the-Dreamer on Tumblr !

« « More like “Adorable Dog” for me ! » you said.

My entry for #HeavenfellContest2024 by @heavenfell-au ! I choose the scene in chapter 15 (Sweet Brothers), where Frisk meets A.D. :3 Whenever I think of Their Wings, it is the first scene that comes to my mind. Is it because I love animals? Because it was a moment of fluff and peace amidst Frisk's painful journey? I think it's both. And yes, the dog is adorable <3

I've been working with shadow puppets for a while now, and I decided to try my hand with Eowyn's characters. I really liked the result! (I've been inspired by Michel Ocelot's works) :3

Here is le théâtre d'ombre in broad daylight: »

You know what ? Seeing your submission made me smile so much ! A.D is such a good pupper and I'm so glad it got to get the spotlight ! (badumtss)

It is such a lovely take on their proper encounter, and the way you portrayed it is so simple, yet so effective and I absolutely love it, for it provides that vision of their bonding experience, as A.D remembered what Frisk did to save its life, and was willing to give them a chance in return. And the way they're staring deep into each other's gaze is so precious and tender, you know what the energy it gives me ? How to train your Dragon vibes, with Hiccup and Toothless having that very unique and special bond. That's what it makes me think of, and the fact that you picked that very tiny scene, for the reasons you mentioned, I'm fucking tearing up at this. I just adore your portrayal of their friendship, and how you selected a simple moment of peace and love in that dark and painful story of Their Wings.

You know what else amazed me ? The medium you used for your submission ! I love how you took the risk to use another type of media, to experience with shadow puppets. Looking back at Michel Ocelot's work, I can definitely see the inspiration, and it's such a nice way to make a tribute to another amazing artist ! I have never experimented with shadow puppets myself, to be honest, I've never thought of it being an option, and that submission was a very pleasant surprise ! I'm very happy you got to choose that medium, despite your drawing talents, I absolutely love people trying out things and taking the risk in a contest itself even  ! As I stated above, it is even moreso unique, and the execution is fantastic. The simplicity makes it all the more enjoyable, for such a simple scene, putting all the energy into the characters and the formation of their friendship, all put together thanks to the light source that gives into that intimate atmosphere. Plus, I can tell that while it is a simple looking result, it must have taken a lot of time having to carve and assemble all the pieces together, without counting the measuring, the placements and the light play. Un grand bravo for this artwork, it definitely lingered on my mind for the rest of the day when I've laid my eyes on it.

Last submission by victenSam !

« The illustration in Chapter 5 – Sweet Trap was one the first scenes that stuck with me, I enjoy the happy vibes. I brought it to life with minor dramatic liberties taken to spice up this short cutscene while still maintaining the overall feel. A paragraph done old-school video-game style, all recorded within a game engine. A happy moment that preludes the turning point of the story.

Reading through Heavenfell felt really inspiring to me. They really put it all in not just the writing, but in all the illustrations, character designs and singing. Not to mention how they’re rocking it in 3D modelling outside Heavenfell as well! This sincere multimedia externalization brought into the fan-work amazed me and helped me give myself a bit of a push to keep pursuing and learning things to hone my own craft. Unfortunately, due to the nature of both game development and making, it became quite a solitary effort on my part. And so, as both a way to honor their work and apply what I’ve been learning, I decided to make a game related entry within the schedule and theme of this contest. I honestly didn’t think I could pull something like this off; I’m glad I tried and I’m happy with the results.

There’s modelling, texturing, sound design, music, coding and directing all creatively put together only by myself just for this piece of animation. I leaned a lot of new things and tested whole new methods and theories in the making of the cutscene. I could go into a lot of details on how every element came together, but I’ll leave that open for any questions that come my way to avoid huge tangents. I hope you all enjoy this little piece of memory. »

Wow.

Just... Wow.

For sure, that one got me gobsmacked. And if the previous submission hadn't gotten me smiling like an idiot, I found myself in absolute awe and I hardly repressed the giggle at the end ! I was breathtaken by the pressing atmosphere until the very moment that those two friends finally let go of the fear and laughed it out, finding myself to do the same, letting go of a breath that I hadn't realized I had stuck in my throat. The fact that you've taken so much time to not just illustrate, but make an entire animation had me floored !! It definitely reminded me of that one illustration that I made myself about that specific scene where Flowey and Frisk were laughing in relief, laying in the snow. That was such a nice little reference, and that made me smile even more! That was a very interesting scene that you picked, all the more heartbreaking knowing what comes afterwards, and that makes me cherish that moment all the more. There was so much nostalgy that I felt there, even felt myself mourning all over again, that was a very strange experience, but I welcome it. Thank you so much for showing Flowey the love he deserved <3

Oh god, there's so much to tell. It is truly a work of art. There's so many mediums put into play there, as you said, there was modeling, there was texturing, sound design and music, and even coding. I also can imagine the storyboard to create the scenes, and all of those details that we happen to forget at times, just so you can render a cutscene of my written story. Truly, I was not only floored by the story telling through your eyes, but by the amount of work you put into this ! It was an amazing surprise to see that kind of work appear for this contest, you're a very talented content creator and this animation is proof of it, knowing that it was made in a game mechanic mind. I lack the words to say how good the technique is for it exceeds anything that I ever imagined. Watching it over and over again, I keep hoping that someday, you get to make an entire game, or even to be hired because there's an incredible potential in you ! It's inspiring seeing how much of your blood and sweat were put into this in record time, I could never hope to do anything like that myself, making me all the more admirative. My best kudos to you, Sam, and thank you for honouring my work this way. <3

That's all for the submissions for Memory Lane. I'm extremely glad that you three had participated, though it feels unfair now to judge your creations when there were only so many participants, which made it harder for me to make decisions, as curious as it is. I've been wondering whether I just let go of the Prize system to give you all the same one, but it kind of goes against a contest, doesn't it ? So I'll still announce the results. Know that each one of your creations made me feel a certain type of way, and I cherished every single one of them. For different reasons, you all deserved the first place, but rules being the rules, I had to be realistic, which is why the importance of technique was there.

So comes to third place, Arplenoon, with his heart-wrenching painting !

To the second place comes Cao the Dreamer, with a very moving shadow puppet !

And the first place goes to victenSAM with his breathtaking cutscene !!

Since I wanted to thank you personally for giving my contest a chance, you all will have an extra in your prizes, as a way to find a middle ground with my prior tug of war <3 Thank you so much for the amount of love you gave to this project. I'll come in contact with you so we can discuss the prize shipping and all the like !

I'll also be reblogging the artpieces posted on tumblr for everyone to enjoy !

[transmutationisms]

I'm curious if you've come across any examples of what you would consider effective communication or collective organizing around Covid? I know of a few groups who I think are doing good work to get people access to masks and rapid tests, making connections to broader issues such as lack of sick leave, barriers to healthcare etc, but they're also relying on things like questionable wastewater data extrapolation to make their points. I don't really know what to do about the latter issue, since we've just had access to all data taken away from us by the government. (I know it's not an effective tool for collective action, but tbh I also struggle with the idea that all alarmism is bad, because I am high risk and I am scared!)

well 1st of all to be clear, i think wastewater data are valuable and i do look at them. what i don't do is make wildly overconfident guesses from those data about exactly how many people are infected, how many sick people are standing in any given room, how many people will eventually qualify for a long covid dx, etc. i think wastewater data are a rough proxy but still an important one, and generally more useful at the local level (where they can be cross-referenced with factors like vaccine uptake, circulating variants, and municipal public health policy) than at national or regional levels (where the necessary amount of aggregation makes it difficult to tease out much useful information about any one town or city).

2nd, i don't know what country you live in but i do look in on CDC's covid dashboard, which includes data on hospitalisations, emergency department visits, deaths, vaccine uptake, test positivity rates, &c. if this is applicable to you i strongly encourage always reading the footnotes as these statistics vary in accuracy (in particular, test positivity rate is very unreliable at this point). i consider a lot of these numbers useful primarily as indicators of comparative risk: eg, i assume hospitalisation numbers have been inaccurate lowballs for the entirety of the pandemic; however, it is still useful imo to see whether that number is trending in a particular direction, and how it compares over time. again, local results are sometimes more helpful as well. i also glance in on the census bureau's household pulse survey results, which come out numerous times throughout the year and include questions about duration of covid symptoms, ability to function, and vaccine uptake. these numbers skew in the opposite direction to many of CDC's, because the phrasing of the covid questions is intended to be broad, and does not attempt to distinguish between the sort of long covid that entails a 6 or 12 month recovery period, vs the sort of long covid that turns out to be me/cfs or other chronic long-term post-viral complications. again, i still think these numbers are useful for viewing trends over time; no data will ever be completely 100% without flaw, and i'm not holding out for that. what does frustrate me, though, is people (with any and all ideological axes to grind!) interpreting any of these numbers as though they are in fact perfect flawless representations of reality, with no further caveats or critical analysis needed. that's what i'm pushing back on, whether it comes from the "pulse survey says long covid prevalence is decreasing, so fuck it!" crowd or the "biobot says last week was a micro-surge so we're all going to die!" crowd.

as far as local orgs or groups doing actual action, like distributing masks or vaccine clinics, i don't put so much stock in what they say on instagram or whatever because frankly i think it matters very little. the masks and vaccines and air filters and so forth are useful in themselves; that work is valuable. if someone's positioning themselves primarily as a communicator then yes, i'm going to scrutinise their communication methods more. if it's an action org i'm honestly less concerned, unless there is egregiously unreliable information being propagated or they're communicating in the sort of stigmatising manner that many peak Posters have adopted (people who got sick are stupid / immoral / deserve it, etc).

i'd also just like to make it clear that like... i live with someone who is at high risk, i accordingly treat my own covid precautions as though i am also at high risk, and i wouldn't want covid regardless... like, please understand that when i talk about this i'm not coming at it from a perspective of someone who's unaware of the need for caution! my concern is, again, that caution and risk discussion are not synonymous with "making frightened guesses and asserting them with 100% confidence" or "selectively attributing truth to data because they agree with me, regardless of the actual methodology and any problems therein". i understand that when people are behaving recklessly and being encouraged to do so by state and medical authorities, it is tempting to look at that situation and think that communicating the seriousness of the virus is worth risking a little bit of inaccuracy if it protects people. however, i do not think that strategy actually pays off in the long or short term as far as changing people's behaviour (if it did, wouldn't it have by now?) and i think it is playing with fire to encourage this manner of interpreting and disseminating scientific information as though it is a kind of ideological buffet requiring no further verification or investigation beyond a cherry-picked deference to the stated objectivity and ideals of The Scientific Method.

[lionlena]

You need a better place (Joelxreader)

So I got a request from @rm4sblog

Could you write something about Joel loving a girl with epilepsy, taking care of her, helping her, comforting her, and dealing with the memory loss and other side effects of seizures?

I agreed because the topic of epilepsy is not completely foreign to me. My cat suffers from epilepsy and unfortunately, I have seen his seizures. Of course, it's not the same as human epilepsy, but there are some similarities. Even the medications are so similar that my cat can take human medications.

I hope you will like it.

Warnings: chronic illness, epilepsy, epileptic seizure, anxiety, mention of death risk, hurt/comfort, little angst, little smut (bc you wanted, I guess)

Having epilepsy would suck in the ordinary world. In a pandemic world, that was fucking bad. It was hard to predict when you'd have an attack. Sometimes all it took was someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes. Other times, a stressful situation was enough.

So... As if everything was stressful during the pandemic. And you had a hard time finding a job. Your options were really limited. Even if you were a great shooter, this encounter with the clicker would probably end in your defeat. You would have an epilepsy attack and no weapon would help you.

Of course, there were drugs that helped you. They reduced the frequency and length of attacks, but they weren't easy to get. You'd never get them yourself. You probably would have died long ago if it wasn't Joel who help you.

Ever since you met this surly, rough, soft-hearted guy, your life has changed for the better. Sometimes you didn't know what made Joel Miller love you so much. How did you deserve such a man? He was tough and brutal on the outside with other people, but in the privacy of your apartment, he treated you like a princess. And he hated it when you said you were "broken." Then he would immediately silence you with a kiss, cup your cheeks and look at you with those brown eyes: "Shhh, sweetheart. You're perfect. If any one of us is broken, it's me and only me."

Nothing in the world would make him leave you. Though sometimes you would that he to leave you.

You loved him like no one else in the world, but when you saw how he risked it to get you medicine, your heart broke. Every time you wiped the blood from his face, when you massaged his tense back when you waited for him to come home, when he left the quarantine zone.

Sometimes you've wondered if, for his sake, you shouldn't rejected him. Tell him he's too old for you, that you don't love him. You would hurt him for his own good.

But the selfish part of you couldn't do that. Because you've never been as happy with anyone as you have been with Joel. There were good days, weeks, and even months when you didn't have a seizure.

And there were days when Joel would throw you on the bed and cover your naked body with kisses. And you let him whisper in your ear all the dirty things he could think of. You screamed his name as his head was between your legs and his tongue worked wonders on your clit.

You tugged at his hair and kissed him deeply, letting him know that he was the sexiest man in the whole fucked up world. You praised his cock and laughed at the soft pink that covered his cheeks. Your man was so insecure at times, and you always made sure he knew how wonderful he was.

Maybe that's why he loved you?                                                         

But why did he also love you during the attacks? That was definitely the shitty part of your relationship. There was absolutely nothing romantic about the attacks. It was awful and embarrassing. And yet, Joel always made sure he gave you as much comfort and love as possible after the attack.

So it was also this time.

You had such a good day. Somehow Joel managed to get some chocolate and you decided to make chocolate chip cookies. The whole apartment smelled wonderful, soft music played on the radio. Joel was sitting on the couch impatiently waiting for his sweets. And then it happened.

You just felt your whole body tense up. Anxiety gripped you. You started to be afraid, even though there was no reason to be afraid. A slight numbness in the hand was the final signal. You only managed to moan, "Jo..."

You couldn't remember the rest.

*

Joel jumped off the couch but didn't catch you in time. Your limp body hit the floor with a thud. You had convulsions that shook your body. Joel knelt behind your head, holding it gently. Just so you don't hit yourself too hard. He made sure you didn't choke on your tongue during the attack and spoke to you calmly, "It'll pass soon, baby. I'm here. I won't leave you. Everything will be fine." He knew you couldn't hear him. You once explained to him that you were simply not there during the attack. You felt no pain and heard nothing. Yet he always spoke to you. Maybe because it calmed him down.

After about two minutes, your seizure subsided and Joel couldn't be happier.

*

The first thing you saw was warm brown eyes. You blinked your eyes and looked around. You didn't remember anything and wanted to cry, but then you felt his warm hand on your cheek and heard his soothing voice.

"Y/N, it's me, Joel. Everything's fine now. You're home, you had a seizure."

He gave you a moment to process his words, then asked:

"Can I lift you up?"

You nodded and he carefully took you in his arms and carried you to the bed. He sat you down, making sure you had the right amount of pillows behind your back. He stroked your leg and whispered, "I'll bring you water. I'll be right back."

You slowly came back to yourself. When Joel came back to you, you smiled weakly at him. You were still dazed, but you also wanted to calm him down. No matter how many times Joel told you he was fine. You saw that every attack reflected on him as well.

"Thank you," you whispered as he brought the glass to your lips. "For all."

Joel shook his head and kissed your forehead.

"I always will care for you. You are my love"

You opened your mouth to say something but chose not to. There was no point in explaining to him again that he had no obligation to help you. Joel wouldn't agree with that anyway.

You sat in silence for a few more minutes before Joel said,

"You should take your meds."

You tensed up and grabbed his hand.

"I'll take them later. Sit with me."

Joel rolled his eyes and pecked your nose: "I'll be right back and lay down next to you."

And you already knew you were in trouble. When Joel came back, he had this look on his face that made it clear he wasn't happy. He crossed his arms over his chest and asked.

"Y/N, why are there still so many pills? Last time I checked there were about the same amount of pills." Seeing how sad he made you, he sat next to you and grabbed your hands. "Honey?" His tone of voice was soft again.

You bit your lip and groaned.

"I wanted to save them for later so you don't have to go so fast to get another."

Joel sighed heavily and shook his head.

"But why?"

You could see that he was angry with you, but he tried to hide it.

"Because after the last time, you came back covered in bruises. One day, because of me, you're going to die, Joel!"

Tears started streaming down your face and he pulled you against his strong chest. One of his large hands cupped the back of your head. He kissed your temple and started rocking you gently.

"Shh, it's okay. Calm down. Don't get upset honey. I know you're worried about me, but I'm more worried about you." You felt him squeeze your body tighter, his voice a barely audible whisper. "What if one of the attacks ends in your death? You know it can be. I can't take your loss. I can't go on living without you."

You sighed heavily and started rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry, Joel, but... Sometimes it's so hard for me to accept that you sacrifice so much for me."

Joel pulled back slightly and cupped your face in his large hands.

"Hey, what if I told you I have a plan." You gave him a surprised look. "I'm looking for a better place for us. A place where life is calmer. A place where there's no fucking FEDRA and no fucking Fireflies. A place where you'd have less stress, so fewer attacks." He smiled at you. "How does it sound?"

"Like a fairy tale," you replied.

Joel shifted on the bed so that you could lie down with your head resting on his chest. He started stroking your hair. You were slowly falling asleep. Before you closed your eyes you heard Joel say:

"I will make this fairy tale come true, princess."

*

[eisforeidolon]

Question: What episode are you guys most proud of, that you just made and you really knew this is something special?

Jared: What episode are we most proud of that we made - of Supernatural?

Question: Of any show.

Jared: I'll go with Supernatural because we've got some Supernatural family members up here. What episode - I guess I'll start - sorry, I hear a little "Eeeeeeeeeeee" Was E.T. just up here? Why are we hearing "Eeeeeeeee" - just kidding, kidding. I think for me, this may seem obvious, the episode I'm most proud of and the most difficult episode to shoot was the series finale. It was rough. It was really rough. And it was a weird - I think when the COVID strike happened, we got - Jensen and I got sent home from Canada on Friday March 13th, Friday the 13th, appropriately, of 2020 because they thought they were going to shut the borders down. So they were like, get across the border, go see your family, we don't know what's going on, you know, there's a worldwide pandemic. And so we had the scripts by then, we had the last two scripts of the series and we got home and didn't go back to Vancouver until August 1st-ish? So I had four months - and a half - to sit there and read through the dialogue, I couldn't read through the scene, the barn scene especially, without crying. And so I'd like go - yeah, we have a little treadmill at our house - and so I had nothing else to do, I'd be like hey Genevieve can you take the kids for a second, I'm gonna go and just get a little run in and read through the episodes. And she's like, yeah, do it. So I'd go and I'd come back and my face would be all puffy and red, and she'd be like, oh shit, are you okay? Like, thinking I got bad news about a friend with COVID or something, and I'd be like yeah, just read the finale, it's cool, it's cool. Yeah, so that was very difficult. But I was very proud of that and it was very heartbreaking as well. Guys and gals?

[Julian Richings talks about being proud he was able to hit his mark in the big boat of a car Death drove in his intro, Sam Smith talks about all the little missing pieces character moments of Mary in Absence, and Alaina Huffman reminisces about getting "to kick the shit out of Crowley" and how great Mark Sheppard is.]

Mitch Pileggi: I'm gonna keep it with Supernatural, because I've been so fortunate to have such a long career and I can't remember most of it, so I couldn't remember moments from it. Probably the hugest, one of the hugest moments of my life was the day that I met Jared Padalecki. And, I mean, I've got the job, so I don't need to say that. Yeah, he ain't gonna fire me. So it was huge, I met an individual that has been so giving and so - to my family, to me and to my family and everybody around us on the show that we're doing now. I have to say that the show that we're doing now is my favorite show that I've ever done in the forty plus years of my career. Without a question, without a doubt, if you haven't seen it, start watching, please. But I think as far as Supernatural, I didn't understand most of what that character was doing and I'm still trying to figure it out. So, I mean even Bob Singer was like, what the hell is going on with those Campbells? So. But I have to say, the scene that I had with Jensen where he turns into the Yellow Eyed Demon was a blast. I had so much fun. I got to get up and sniff on Jensen real good and it was fun, I really enjoyed doing it. And just - like for both of them, when I met both of them, I think I took Jensen aside about four days working on the show and I said I just want to say that you two guys have got your heads screwed on right. Keep it that way, because this business can really twist you up and it hasn't done it to this day, so.

[wonuwrites]

"A House In Nebraska" ot13 Song Reaction

Before we start: Warning: this song is heavy and talks about really heavy topics and even mentions about Suicidal thoughts. Personally, I, @wonuwrites don't like writing about suicide or suicidal thoughts because it is a very triggering subject for so many people (myself included.) I will mention the suicide part in this reaction. Having said that, PLEASE do not read this reaction if it will affect you in a negative way. You are WAY more important than a fanfiction on this silly website. if you ever need to talk, please message me.

Just wanted to put this warning before we started because I felt it was important.

requested from this anon x

Warning/author's note : This will be a lot more heavier than things I usually write. (pls send me pet pictures or fluffy wonwoo drabbles) This will be post-apocalyptic themed with hints of the song "A House In Nebraska" by Ethel Cain. There will be talks of suicide like I mentioned above, also death, dread, trauma, and so many other things. I will write happier drabbles and things after this so please once again if this is too heavy please skip. I love you all and want everyone to be safe. I know I say this often but please if you are a minor- DO NOT INTERACT. Also this took so long for me to write because it was rough to write. I had to make sure I was mentally okay <3

Just like all my song preferences before: members parts will be in order of the song lyrics.

Let the angst begin <3

Scene:

Everything was normal for a year until some governments were a little bored and decided to do experiments on their inmates of the respected countries. Some of these experiments went a little haywire and caused a pandemic. The pandemic caused a very contagious disease that made 2020's COVID-19 look like child's play. The disease made people lose their minds and the only way to cure it was to put them down. Many people compared it to be a modern day zombie apocalypse except for zombies it was homicidal psychopaths. When the pandemic first happened, you and your boyfriend (member of Seventeen) took refuge in a House in Nebraska, USA. It was secluded and you both thought nobody would find you and harm you. Happy endings don't always happen though. After many days of skipped meals and sleepless nights, the worst happened. You watched the love of your life walk out the door to get some food from the garden when a stray homicidal was walking down the road. Before he could grab a gun to kill the homicidal, the Homicidal shouted alerting more Homicidal's to come. There you watched the love of your life try to defend you both before getting infected. It was then when you had to defend yourself from the Homcidal's and even the love of your life. After shooting the only person who knew you for you, these were the memories that would haunt you until your dying breath.

Actual Members Reactions Now~

⌂ DK: "Labored breaths and bed sores, sing it to me all day long, when the aching 'Sound of Silence,' used to be our favorite song."

It had been no more than two awful weeks since you had to kill Seokmin. The memory of the look in his eyes when he realized he was infected scared you. It haunted you. He slid you the gun and just whispered "I love you, (Y/N)." You had to do it but it killed you to do so. Ever since, you just laid on the once shared dirty mattress. At this point you had been just laying down and getting bed sores due to lack of activity but in all honesty, you just wanted to return to the love of your life. You didn't want to live without him any longer. You felt your breath getting labored and you closed your eyes praying that it was your time to go. As if it were a miracle, you heard faintly the love of your life singing "sound of silence" which used to be your favorite song due to the memes. You choked back a sob before whispering, "I'm coming home Seokmin, I am so sorry."

⌂ Mingyu: "You and me against the world, you were my man and I your girl."

You stared down at your whole world who starred back up at you with blood dripping down his chin. He was still warm but he was gone. You looked around and saw a lot of other Homicidal's scattered across the gravel driveway. You didn't have one clear thought as you realized what you had to do. The one person who promised to be with you until the end of time was shot because of you. You both swore that if one of you got infected, you would shoot one or the other no matter what. However, with the seclusion of the house in Nebraska you both thought that it just would not happen and things would eventually be better. Life without Mingyu now though, it wouldn't be better even if this pandemic ended. So you did what you had to do. You dragged Mingyu into the house and drenched both you and his body in gasoline. You cried while doing so because the thought of dying was horrifying, however living was just not an answer as well. You took a deep breath before pressing a kiss onto Mingyu's forehead. You held onto him as you flicked the lighter and set both of you ablaze. The world may have won this battle, however you knew that you would both find each other in every lifetime that came.

⌂ Dino: "And I still call home that house in Nebraska, where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor."

Once the pandemic hit Korea, you both ran refuge to America because there were more places to be secluded. Chan always joked that Nebraska was a myth because "nobody lives there" until that's where you found home. A worn out house that looked like it had been vacant since 1958. There wasn't much to it but a dirty mattress on the second floor. Any fear of germs vacated as it seemed better than a hardwood floor. The first night you spent on that dirty mattress, Dino and you had torn up some of your own shirts to use as a sheet and held each other for comfort. You swore that no matter what you would be together.

⌂ Woozi: "Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours."

Jihoon and you made a promise that you would be together throughout the whole pandemic. You both would live together or you both would die together. After surviving for months, living seemed so much brighter. You both were a light to each other during this dark time. When you saw Jihoon get bit, you felt like your world shattered. He tossed the gun at you and looked up at you begging you to shoot him. You ended up shooting the rest of the homicidals but left the love of your life for last. "Y/N, kill me." You heard him beg. He wasn't infected quite yet but the color in his eyes was starting to change. It was a matter of time before he was like the homicidals. So you did what you promised him. You sat in front of him and put your head against his temple. He tried to push you off when he realized you were planning on shooting both of you at the same time. He wanted you to live but you still fired the shot killing him and injuring you. You ended up passing from lack of blood next to the love of your life. You both died together and as each others persons. Just like you promised.

⌂ Joshua: "Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well and I lie to her."

About a year after shooting Jisoo, the pandemic had been lifted. You left the house in Nebraska and tried to live life the way you had before meeting Jisoo, before the pandemic and it was hard. It was so fucking hard. Especially since most of his family had survived. His mother would call you once a month once the pandemic was over even though she knew what you did. When you saw her name on your phone, guilt always ate you. She told you she didn't blame you and you shouldn't do the same thing however it was easier said than done. Whenever she asked how you were doing, you always gave her little white lies in hopes that she would believe you and hope that someday it would be true.

⌂ Vernon: "And I say I'm doing fine when really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time."

After Hansol passed, you left the house in Nebraska after setting him on fire. The only thing you had left of him was a plaid shirt that he wore often. You wore it every day and left with it on. You found a camp of other survivors and they welcomed you in with open arms. Nobody knew what you did but they knew you saw some heavy things. Someone named San was at the camp as well and wanted to know why you didn't smile. He would ask you how you were doing and your answer was always the same. "I'm fine." It was a safe answer and one San realized would be the only thing you would give. You thought San was nice however, your heart was burnt in Nebraska along with Hansol. Each day that passed, you wanted to kill yourself so you could be with your other half. Living without Hansol was the worst pain and nobody could ever understand.

⌂ Seungkwan: "And it hurts to miss you but it's worse to know that I'm the reason you won't come home."

You didn't know what hurt more. Missing Seungkwan being around physically or feeling remorse for killing him. When he took his last breath, you knew it was what you had to do but it didn't make the pain any more bearable. Seungkwan was your missing piece. He was the ying to your yang. The Bonnie to you Clyde. He was everything and him not being there was simply awful. You spent so many hours a day crying and just craving him to hold you just one more time. However you knew that he couldn't come back. You just prayed he would be waiting for you.

⌂ S. Coups: "You know, I still wait at the edge of town praying straight to God that maybe you'll come back around."

Killing Seungcheol drove you mad. You knew he was gone but you still would look out the window and walk to edge of town hoping to see him running home to you. Maybe him being infected was just a bad dream and he was coming to your makeshift home with some much needed supplies. Maybe he was still alive and you would see him again soon. One night when you made your way to the edge of town you saw a being in the distance. He looked so much like Seungcheol. Your heart started beating faster than ever as you started running toward 'Seungcheol.' As soon as you made it to them, you realized it was a scarecrow that was just propped up. You fell to your knees and started wailing out Seungcheol's name. You sobbed until you couldn't handle it anymore and just laid down and prayed to God that you could be reunited with your one true love once again. It took a few hours but soon your last breath was taken laying right next to the scarecrow.

⌂ Wonwoo: "I cry everyday, and the bottles make it worse 'cause you were the only one I was scared to tell I hurt."

You were no stranger to Jack Daniels and mental breakdowns prior to meeting Wonwoo all those years ago. You struggled with mental health and the only one who knew how deep your mental health struggles and alcohol uses was Wonwoo. So when you shot him with his own gun you ran back to what you knew best. Your addictions. You used to be afraid to confess when you missed alcohol to him but with him you ended up being a year sober. However, the familiar taste of whiskey burning the back of your throat numbed the regret and remorse. You knew he would've shook his head at your actions but at the same time, who could blame you?

⌂ Minghao: "I thought you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess."

Once the pandemic hit, it was hard to see things as beautiful. However, when you met Minghao at a camp before you made yourself home in that house in Nebraska, you thought he was so beautiful. His giggles that ended up haunting your every thoughts, the soft stare he'd give you, the way his arms would wrap around you when life got too scary. It was all so beautiful. One of the main regrets you had was that you didn't realize how much you loved this beautiful man until it was too late. When he was gone, dullness took over again and it was hard to find anything beautiful.

⌂ Hoshi: "And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night."

Delusions started to eat you alive, you ended up just thinking Soonyoung left you instead of you murdering him. You thought it was just a scary nightmare and he was just getting supplies for you both to survive. So you waited for him. You stayed up staring at the door like a stranded puppy waiting for their owner to come home from a silly 9-5. You lost track of the days and couldn't remember the last time you ate. However, you heard a noise from the outside and all you could think of was Soonyoung. You opened the door and ran to the tall figure. You didn't realize it was a homicidal until you felt venom run through your veins. By then it was too late and you were one of them.

⌂ Jun: "But God, I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're alright."

Out of all the members, Jun actually survived. You shot the dirt next to him and he played 'dead.' He heard your screams of heartbreak and he felt so horrible. However, he knew the homicidal's came for a reason and he had just found a cure for a bite. However, there was not enough food for both you and him so he hid the fact that there was a cure from you. Instead, he decided to "die" and leave the food and everything for you in that house. After you did a shallow grave for him, he crawled out of the grave and made his way to a camp. He oathed if he could find more supplies he would come back for you. However, after he found more supplies and food he came back to an empty house. There was no sign of you and it broke him. He blamed himself. He should have told you what he discovered. He would spend every moment until his last breath trying to figure out what happened and where you went.

⌂ Jeonghan: "And I feel so alone out here and I feel so alone without you."

Prior to Jeonghan, you considered yourself super independent. You could take care of yourself because that was all you had known how to do. However, once you met Jeonghan, you became codependent. As much as you could, you turned your brain off because he always had a plan. You always were together so when he passed, you felt so alone. You tried your best to find who you were before Jeonghan came into your life but it was practically impossible. Everytime you thought about moving on, you felt a piece of you die. One night when it was raining, you couldn't handle laying down on a dirty mattress by yourself anymore so you went to his grave and laid next to it. You felt insane as you started to put soil on you to feel closer to him but believe it or not you felt him there. You closed your eyes as rain droplets continued to splatter across your face and took your last breath. You couldn't wait to be reunited with Jeonghan.

holy shit it's finally finished. I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry it was so heavy. fluffy shit is coming <3