Sitting down to watch Dario Argento's Il Fantasma dell'Opéra (1998) starring Julian Sands for the first time.
Also in case anyone who sees this didn't know, Julian, our beloved rat man, is currently missing. He (an experienced mountaineer) went missing during a hike on Mount Baldy in California two weeks ago, so please let's pray for him and his family.
Anyway, PSA's aside, let's get into what i know is going to be an incredibly bizarre trip.
I watched Inferno right before this. Dario Argento loves rats, huh?
This Opera house is gorgeous.
Oh good she covered her tits
Whoa, intense. Right off the bat.
I feel like this Phantom, more than any other, really earns his Parisisn Sewer Man status
The blood in this is much better than in Suspiria. I was worried it would be oil paint again
Oh Raoul's only a Baron here. Dario downgraded him.
Dubbing still sucks though. Nice to know some things never change
Love how no matter what incarnation, Carlotta always has some obsequious weirdo following her around
This gore is amazing. That thumb? 🤌🏻
Oh he is suphhhhherbly creepy I love it
Feral Grunge Phantom is feral
"Oh you like my smell? Well do you want my scarf? Go ahead take it. Yeah, you can masturbate with that if you want"
This is insane, but I love it
This is where my sister tapped out
Asia Argento is really Christine Daaé's Edgy Thot era
Oh this is our Raoul? Ew. Gross. Give me rat man, please
Oof. Friend. Zoned.
Something tells me things are not gonna end well for these nosy Opera house employees
I'M NOT A PHANTOM, I'M A RAT. Iconic.
Oh he's so homicidal. Impaling!
Baby girl (not Christine) you are going to be murdered just deal with it.
Okay I enjoy gratuitous murder, but this whole sequence is totally superfluous
Love the ballet girls running into Christine's dressing room a la the first chapter of the book with the girls running to Sorelli.
Actually Asia Argento is kind of exactly how I imagined La Sorelli.... she's just got that kind of face. You know, whore face. Hence Du Barry.
Oh this rooftop is very pretty. And very fake looking.
I can't even describe to you what I just saw.
Okay her lip-synching is prrretty terrible
Raoul's brother looks like Mephistopheles
This bathhouse scene... choices were made
Well I'll say this, I think this is the only version I've seen that really captures Raoul's emotional instability
Rat man gets points for his woodchipper policy on child predators.
Dario really decided to run with the whole rat catcher thing... again, choices were made
Not into the fact that Ratrik doesn't row her across the lake himself. That's vakuable eye-fucking real estate wasted
What's that noise? Oh nothing, just the Phantom of the Opera pounding his organ
Yes! Finally! A version of this damn story where they actually get to fuck!
Those are silk sheets. Even Rat Phantom has drip
AND he's telling her his back story himself! This would be more poignant if he had the deformity, but I'll let it slide
Oh my gosh, I know this still ends tragically, but actually seeing a Phantom get to hold Christine naked in bed, in afterglow is so incredibly healing to me.
Also all of these boudoir shots are incredibly pretty
Oh, is the maid the costume designer from Opera? I thought I recognized her.
Love how all of the costumes in Carlotta's dressing room are obviously too small for her
Okay Dario, you needed to dial this back just a little
I would like a gif of shirtless Julian sands sledgehammering that support pillar
This is of course one of the biggest versions for inflating the casualties in the chandelier crash
Oh I like that they actually had Gounod conducting! That's a book pull!
See, now I'm very annoyed that I have to take back some of the points he earned killing that child predator for this very rapey behavior. Pick a lane, Dario!
I could edit this into a decent version
"She's the Phantom's whore!" You betcha
Girl, will you make up your mind?
Kinda feel bad for Raoul here, he's gotta be terribly confused
This is kind of dumb, he should have just gotten into the boat with them
Supremely glad he got to kill the rat-catcher
I do love the music in this movie though. Really beautiful. Oh. Ennio Morricone. That explains it.
Ok all in all conceptually I prefer this version to, say the Charles Dance one.
But Dario just had to put his toe over the line just a few too many times, didn't he? We could have done without the boob-threat scene with Carlotta and the bizarre steam-punk rat-catching machine, and the rapey-ness obviously and I'd have called it good. As it is... we'll call it passable.
Watch it for the boudoir scene and the superbly handled gore if for nothing else.
11 notes
·
View notes