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thelongestway · 4 months

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hey no shade but you know dungeon meshi isn't actually based off dnd right? there are definitely some overlapping concepts and it can be fun to analyze it through a dnd lens but really it's its own homebrew fantasy setting. just checking bc i nearly got in an argument w someone over dungeon meshi lore the other day only to realize it was because they were trying to apply dnd lore to it ahahaa

Oh yeah, absolutely, it's its own thing. You don't even have to go far to show how it's its own thing: for one, the whole set-up with the dungeons being what they are isn't found anywhere else in D&D-inspired material that I know. You could maybe reflavor Halaster's Undermountain to something like the Dungeon Meshi dungeons, but that would be another layer of homebrew. That said, I do have the feeling that Ryoko Kui grew up on the same kind of D&D material that I did - stuff like Elminster's Ecologies, or old school Greyhawk materials. Her story genuinely feels like an AD&D game run by an old-school DM, maybe even earlier in the editions (hi, Chilchuck and "I'm a rogue, I'm not gonna fight"!). I don't mean that she follows D&D canon in any meaningful sense--her stuff isn't set in Greyhawk, nor on Abeir-Toril, nor on Krynn, etc. But I do think she's someone who's inspired by old school stuff, even as she makes her work thoroughly her own.

An acquaintance of mine once wrote that long tabletop games gain a quality that she called "being well-trod". This is when the players and DM are so familiar with the world they live in that it becomes, well, lived-in. They don't need to look up rules anymore to extrapolate: they understand the logic of the setting, and they get the same kind of intuitive feel for the world that we do when living in our own world, in real life. A feeling of where the boundaries lie, and how things work.

This is how I feel about Dungeon Meshi and D&D. It feels like a work written by someone who walked the same paths that I did, and whose work is therefore both new and startlingly familiar. That's it in a nutshell, but then I also wrote a bunch of examples, which got very long, so cut for length and spoilers!

I wrote somewhere in the tags on my Dungeon Meshi posts that it's incredibly surreal reading a story that seems to be informed by the exact materials that you base your own homebrew games on. Kui takes her work in a wholly different direction than I did - but the disparate elements of the story would fit in like a glove, because they're based on similar logic. I could quite literally take any of the ecologies elements of Dungeon Meshi and put them into a given module I'm running, and it would need less adaptation than 5e material. And most of the cultural/racial elements of Dungeon Meshi? That, too. Where it's not a one for one match, it would so easily be explainable by "different continent".

Let's take the example you're probably here from: the Canaries and elves in general, and let's take elves in general first. In D&D, there's been a switch in models of elven aging throughout the years: from "they are literal babies up until 60-ish, and then have 40 years of actual adolescence" to "yeah they grow to full adult size at about the same speed as the other races, and are then just culturally considered too young to make their own decisions". I am decidedly not a fan of the second model - I think it takes away from the cool biologies early D&D thrived on. BG3's treatment of Astarion's age of death, for instance, keeps throwing me. Yeah, I get it: it fits in with the edition they're working off, but I hate it. That's not how things work on our Faerun! But then we get to Marcille's backstory, and we see that she has the problems old school half-elves did, and you're like "oh, well of course someone invested in weird cool biology as an author would interpret elves like that." Her treatment of age makes sense to me. She makes the races as alien as possible, and hits that vibe of "D&D-style fantasy is its own thing, with its own set of rules" that I love. In contrast, and unlike any prototypes I know, Kui takes her half-foots in a different direction! They don't live longer than tall-men, they live shorter lives, closer to goblinoids. And I think it's for the same reason: because it's that much cooler to have different experiences of life in humanoid races. This is decidedly Not D&D, but it would absolutely fit into that vein.

With smaller details, I keep joking around here that the Canaries are grey elves, and of course they're not. But then Kui keeps putting in these tiny little details - which can be either nods to existing material, or the same extrapolations that other authors drawing upon high fantasy tropes have made. The white ships that have travelled all the way from Tolkien's Valinor to Evermeet and now to Shima. The fact that the Canaries have basically the right color scheme for grey elves threw me completely: I was not expecting that! Elves being that specific brand of destructive that they are - jeez, the Canaries would be right at home in Myth Drannor, or during the Crown Wars. So I joke around about these specific dolts a lot, and I am having an inordinate amount of fun seeing if my predictions that come from running a Myth Drannor game for a good long while now come true. And it goes on. Marcille doesn't prepare spells, and the magic here is obviously not Vancian. But Mithrun's teleport shenanigans are literally stuff I've done in games. The differences between races in D&D aren't because of wishes made by mortals; they're built in by gods for their own purposes. But the towns that spring up around anomalous spots and that have to deal with the weirdness have the same vibe. Kui draws on a more extensive tradition than just D&D, of course, but she transforms the tradition in a very similar way to old D&D. Of course the elves' magic in Kui's work does weird and creepy stuff with soulbinding and immortality; that's been their dark side since Tolkien and Celebrimbor's work with Annatar, and then it turned into stuff like elves regularly sacrificing their lives in high magic rituals in Faerun. Of course Senshi's backstory is about the dwarves that have dug too deep - but they are, of course, distinct from gnomes, and the gnomes are a peculiar and interesting breed of arcana specialists. Of course Chilchuck is a Burglar - but he works on dungeon delving unions, of all things! It's a familiar transformation, so the world makes sense to me, and I love it. So yeah. Tl;dr: not D&D ofc, but the vibe is there, and I am having fun with it.

Also - can you tell me about the argument? I am super curious, and I wonder if the person you were arguing with was working from 5e material.

#dungeon meshi #D&D #half-baked meta #my elves #horrible crossover thoughts #i'm sorry anon this is probably way too long but you've activated my trap card #also added some small edits #there's a very short list of anime that hits this specific vibe for me with respect to other worlds #like Log Horizon Gets MMOs #Seirei no Moribito is written by an anthropologist and it shows in the first 5 minutes #but for D&D? Ryoko Kui has the coolest treatment of the material even in comparison with anime that were *based on* old school games #why does the cut keep migrating #webbed site

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sweetprfct · 5 months

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Cruel Summer

Aaron Warner x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Aaron Warner have been secretly seeing each other since the beginning of Spring. The problem is that your parents are part of Omega Point, the rebel group of The Reestablishment. While Aaron’s father runs The Reestablishment along with other leaders from other continent. From secret meetings to I love yous, you start questioning if all of this is worth taking the risk.

Author's Note: Finally, it's here! So sorry for the delay! Work has been crazy and will continue to be crazy for the next few weeks, so thank you for being patient. Here's part 3! Things are about to go a little faster...

Disclaimer: 18+, mention of violence, smut, MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 5.1K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Aaron’s fingers softly stroked your hair as you laid on top of him, your chin set against his bare chest. You both have woken up way too early, and you both decided to just enjoy this peaceful morning. Your eyes scanned his facial features as your finger stroked his cheek softly. Comfortable silence surrounded the both of you. Aaron slightly smiled at you as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. You felt the electricity rush down your body the moment his lips touched your forehead. You carefully closed your eyes, burying your face on his chest.

“It’s been four months.” Aaron murmured.

“Four months?” Your voice was almost a whisper as you pressed a soft kiss on his chest.

You felt him breathe heavily, his hands that were stroking your hair ran down your bare back, caressing it softly. It made you feel sleepy as you smiled softly and enjoyed his gentle warm touch.

“Four months since we saw each other.” He said. “Four months since I realized I love you.”

You couldn’t help but let out a soft approving hum and your cheeks flushed. His gentle touch on your back was slowly letting you fall asleep, but you were trying your best to keep yourself awake and listen to his voice. You moved yourself up and buried your face on his neck, feeling Aaron’s grip around you tightened. He pressed a soft kiss on your hair, making you smile against his skin. You couldn’t believe that it has been four months since you have been doing this. Four months since you risked everything for this.

“Four months since I stopped using my simulation.” Aaron added.

Suddenly, you gazed up at him with furrowed brows. “Simulation?”

Aaron nodded his head, burying his face in your hair and breathed you in. Sliding your hand on his chest, you stopped right above his heart and felt his heart skip a beat. Unfortunately for you, you seem to be the only one around here who didn’t have any powers. The only way for you to be able to feel Aaron’s emotions and energy all the time was when you could feel or hear his heartbeat.

“Before you, I didn’t know how to live. I didn’t know what the point of everything was.” He exhaled sharply, his green eyes finding yours.

“What do you mean?”

Suddenly, you felt your heart race, nervous and terrified at the answer Aaron was about to tell you. You watched as he pulled you close and buried his face on your shoulder.

“Hey,” You pulled away, sitting up on the bed. “What is it?”

You cupped his face between your hands as he tried to avoid your eye contact.

“I didn’t care then.” He murmured. “I would use a simulation machine to kill myself. Shoot myself repeatedly.”

A small gasp escaped your lips. The words that slipped out of his lips got your limbs frozen. You couldn’t believe what he just said and the fact that he did that repeatedly made your heart shatter into pieces. You couldn’t even comprehend it. You couldn’t imagine losing him and the fact that he kept trying to do that to himself— even if it was a simulation— you couldn’t wrap your mind around the idea of it.

“Aaron…” You whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, love.” He wiped your tears that rolled down your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to upset you like that. I just… I wanted to be open to you.”

“No…No.” You shook your head, immediately clinging yourself onto him. “Please don’t apologize. I never wanted you to feel like that again. I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, love.” He whispered, his hand rubbing your back softly. “I’m right here.”

“You’re everything to me.” You whispered.

You felt Aaron slightly smiled as he pulled you in his lap and his fingers stroked your cheek gently. A soft kiss planted on your forehead again.

“No matter what happens, I’ll protect you with my life.” Aaron pressed his forehead on the blade of your shoulder, kissing your skin softly. “That’s a promise, love.”

You turned to face him, taking his face between your hands and kissed him passionately. These last few weeks with Aaron had been heaven ever since you both had admitted your feelings for each other, and you wished you both could finally find some hard evidence to take down The Reestablishment. You wished it was that easy.

Coming back to Omega Point later that day, you were immediately called into Castle’s office. You didn’t know what you would be expecting as soon as you entered. Your parents were nowhere to be found. They were probably busy with other things, you thought. Castle sat behind his desk, his hands intertwined together in front of him, his usual braids tied up into a ponytail, and his brown eyes studying you as you walked towards his desk. You couldn’t help but feel nervous. You wondered if he knew something. You wondered if he caught you sneaking out and that was why you were called in.

“Good morning, Castle.” You gave him a small confident smile.

“How are you, dear?” Castle asked.

“G..Good.” You hated how that came out.

You didn’t know why you were so nervous. If Castle ever found out what you have been doing, you would just simply explain it right? Aaron was on your side. They didn’t have to worry about anything. However, you weren’t too sure if Castle and your parents would believe you about that. Looking around his office, you sort of told yourself that maybe the missing presence of your parents was a good sign. That maybe you weren’t in trouble after all.

“Well, I called you in here today just to check in how you and Kenji are doing with training.”

A sigh of relief quietly escaped from you. Your shoulders finally dropped from the nervous tension.

“Oh, we’re good, sir. I think we’re getting better everyday.”

“That’s good.” Castle got up from his chair and walked around his desk.

He sat against the edge of his desk in front of you, his arms crossed in front of him. Suddenly, you felt your heart start pounding on your chest again as you saw the expression that washed over Castle’s face. A knot started forming in your stomach as you waited for him to say something. The silence between the both of you felt like eternity as you started playing with your fingers nervously.

“Is there anything that you two need?” Castle asked. “Any equipment or more training to be added?”

“N…No.” You swallowed all your emotions. “We’re fine, sir.”

“I haven’t seen you around the base lately, is everything okay?”

Your heart was drumming in your ears, you could barely hear Castle’s voice. You could feel your body stiffened even more. Your thoughts pinwheeling, and your mind asking so many questions if this was a test. You wonder if Castle knew anything, and he was trying to test you if you would tell him the truth. You kept your shoulders straight as you nodded your head.

“Yes,” You tried to keep your voice straight. “Just need some fresh air sometimes. You know… to think.”

“Well, we’re here for you if you need anything, especially your parents. They worry about you sometimes.”

You pursed your lips and looked down at your fingers. “I’m fine, Castle. I can handle myself.”

“I know you can. We know you can.” Castle reassured. “We just want you to be safe. You’re intelligent and frankly, I think you’re pretty good at sneaking out and spying around here.”

Your head snapped back up at Castle, who let out a soft laugh as your eyes widened. Did he mean anything by that? Why did he mention that? Was he trying to tell you something? Or were you just being paranoid?

“What… What do you mean?” You could barely ask him the question.

“I mean I know how you are. You always knew how to spy around here without anyone knowing. I even told your parents we couldn’t keep a secret from you without you finding out soon enough.”

You gave him a faint smile and nodded your head. Castle gave you a warm smile before patting you on the arm softly.

“Just let me know if you ever need anything.”

“Thank you.” You gave him a smile before walking out of his office.

A relief washed over you as you walked down the hall. You knew that conversation could have gone in ten different ways, but you were just glad that it went well. You couldn’t help but ponder over the idea if Castle was giving you a message that he knew something, or he truly just didn’t know what you have been doing these past few months. Either way, it was making you anxious.

“You know your mood these days is so confusing.” You were startled by Kenji, who appeared behind you.

“Jesus.” You froze in your tracks, your hand immediately went above your chest.

“No, it’s Kenji.” He teased as you tilted your head and glared at him.

“Yeah, well, from the way you appear out of nowhere all the time, I might see him sooner than you think.” You said sarcastically as you continued down the long hallway.

The fluorescent lights were so bright, it made you feel like you were in a hospital. You hated the lighting in these halls, and you just wanted to go into your bedroom, close the curtains and stay in your bed. Your anxiety was currently quietly attacking you, and you just wanted to be alone.

“Don’t tell me you’re off to see Warner again.” Kenji said.

You paused in your tracks immediately turning to face him with wide eyes.

“Shh.” You whispered. “Are you trying to get me in trouble around here?”

“With the way you have been seeing him, I’m surprised you still make it alive every morning.” Kenji argued, his eyes widened also.

You let out a deep sigh and said, “Kenji, he’s on our side. Please stop judging him.”

You saw Kenji roll his eyes. “He’s an ass and how do you know that he’s not backstabbing us?”

If Kenji couldn’t even believe you this easily, what would happen if Castle and your parents find out? You knew they were going to do everything in their power to let Aaron stay away from you. That idea made your heart race faster, and your anxiety was getting worse. You needed to shut your mind off, this wasn’t helping you at all.

“I trust him, so please.” You argued, a hint of pleading in your voice.

“I still don’t trust him.” Kenji shook his head.

You exhaled a sharp breath and leaned against the wall, feeling defeated. You wouldn’t be able to convince Kenji anymore and at this point, you didn’t want to try anymore. The only way he would believe Aaron was if they would actually see each other, but you doubt that would help at all too. You heard a small gasp escape from Kenji and saw his eyes widened from the corner of your eye.

“What?” You asked, turning to face him.

“Ohmygod.” He whispered in disbelief. “He… No way…!”

What the fuck was he on about?

You furrowed your brows, confused as to what he was talking about. You watched as Kenji repeatedly shook his head from the realization that just hit him. Then, realization also hit you when you realized what Kenji was talking about. Your eyes widened as you shook your head, your index finger found your lips as you tried to tell him to keep his voice down.

“Kenji!” You whisper-yelled.

“No, he doesn’t!” Kenji argued as if he was reading your mind. “No way… That man… He… He doesn't have emotions!”

“Kenji, I know you two had some bad past before and yeah, I know he tried to shoot you, but he isn’t like that. I swear.”

Kenji’s disbelief washed over him as he walked closer to you. His eyes were wild, and you have never seen him like this before. You knew that he only cared for you, but he just didn’t understand it. He never understood what you and Aaron have. Your heart was beating hard in your chest, you swore it was about to jump off and drop to the ground. You couldn’t find the right words to really argue about this subject anymore because no matter what you said, no one would believe you. No one could see what you see.

“Are you serious, Princess? You actually believe that he is in love with you?” Kenji said it like he was disgusted by the thought of it.

“Yes, I do.” You argued, your voice was surprisingly calm. “I’ve seen it. I feel his love, and I know he won’t betray us. I know that.”

Kenji pinched the bridge of his nose as he continued to shake his head in disbelief. In the beginning, he tried to understand your little hook up but now? He couldn’t believe it, and he couldn’t even believe that you weren’t coming into your senses about this. Kenji tried to process the information that he just received, and he was trying his best to believe what you were telling him but it still sounded ridiculous in his head.

The man was heartless and cold.

“Kenji, I know that it sounds bad but—”

You carefully touched his forearm to calm him down but before you could finish your sentence, everything went dark.

High pitched ringing in your ears was the first thing that you noticed when you gained consciousness, followed by the feeling of pain radiating through your body. You didn’t know where you were. You were sure you were on the ground, but you couldn’t see anything. Your ears were still ringing, and you could smell smoke. Panic washed over you as you tried to move your body, but you couldn’t seem to. Pain kept searing through your whole body as you squeezed your eyes and tried to flutter them open.

“K…Kenji?” You could barely hear your voice, everything was echoing.

You were dazed out and confused and at the same time, adrenaline was running through your veins. You didn’t know how long you were on the ground but when you finally adjusted your vision, you gasped in fear as you saw a thick smoke surrounding you. You tried to turn your head, but everything hurts. You found the wall next to you broken and pieces of it were all over you and all over the floor. You knew a big piece of it was crushing your leg at the moment. Reaching for your forehead, you felt blood, and it made your heart race even faster.

Where was Kenji?

He was just with you, but you couldn’t see anything from all the smoke, and you could hardly breathe.

“Kenji?!” You exclaimed, grunting as you tried to force yourself to get up from the ground.

You gritted your teeth through the pain and cried out as soon as you saw the part of the cement wall was on your leg. Your head was dizzy as you tried to look around and found Kenji’s body just not too far from you. He was unconscious and you tried to pull your leg from under the cement, but it was too heavy. You let out a scream as you breathed heavily.

You have to do something. You couldn’t just stay here. You have to keep your mind aligned.

You reached to try and push the cement wall off your leg, but you were too weak. You were trained for this. You should know how to survive this, so how come you couldn’t think straight right now? How come the adrenaline in your body wasn’t helping you at all? You let out a deep breath before trying to push the cement wall again using all your strength. As you screamed in agony, you pulled your leg from underneath it and laid back down on the ground, breathing heavily.

You coughed up all the smoke that you were currently inhaling as you turned your head towards an unconscious Kenji.

“Kenji!” You called out.

Using all the strength that you have left, you tried crawling towards him, pushing away all the debris that was on your way. As you reached for his hand, you felt two hands grab you by the arm. You couldn’t see who it was with all the smoke that was surrounding you as you tried to pull yourself away from their grip.

“Mom! Dad! Castle!” You yelled out before feeling another pair of hands grab you by your waist.

The smoke was getting worse, and you couldn’t leave Kenji right there. You struggled from the grip that was holding you back, but you were also starting to lose oxygen in your lungs from all the smoke. Your vision was getting blurry as you felt a small pinch on your neck that you swore was a needle that was injected through your skin.

Then, everything went dark.

“Where are we going, mom?” You asked, watching your mom packed your bags.

“Somewhere safe, honey.” Your mom zipped up your bag and turned you around, slipping the backpack on your back before kneeling down and cupped your face.

“Just trust me, okay?” Your mom stared into your eyes. “We’re gonna go somewhere safe. You get to see Kenji again soon.”

You watched as your mom grabbed another duffel bag and packed the rest of your things. Then, you saw Cassandra enter your room with her own bag. She looked a bit scared, but you always found her confidence so admiring. Even if things were hard, she never loses hope nor confidence that everything would be fine.

“Cassandra, mom said we’re going somewhere?” You asked, confused.

Her eyes shifted towards you, and you could see the sad smile that suddenly tugged on her lips.

“Here.” Your mom handed her a second bag before cupping her face in her hands. “Please be safe.”

You furrowed your brows and asked, “Cassandra isn’t coming?”

Both of them turned to you as Cassandra walked towards you, taking your hands in hers. “I’ll come find you, I promise. Just go with mom and dad first. Kenji will be there too. He’s going to take care of you too.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head repeatedly. “No. No! I’m coming with you!”

“No, you’re safer with mom and dad.” Cassandra let go of your hands, but you were quick to wrap your arms around her waist, stopping her from her tracks.

“I’m coming with you.” You cried. “We’re sisters. You promised wherever you go, I will be there too.”

Cassandra tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled your arms away from her waist.

“I’ll find you, I promise. For now, you have Kenji. He promised me he’ll be there for you no matter what.” Cassandra whispered.

“No, I don’t want Kenji! I want you to be there!” You cried out.

“I’ll find you, okay? I promise.” She kissed your forehead before finally walking away.

You shook your head, reaching your arms for her, but she was gone. “Cassandra!”

Your mom held you back as you tried to slap her hands away from your body, but she was much stronger than you. Your mom’s arms wrapped around you as you sobbed. You were only 12 then, and Cassandra was 19.

That was the last time you ever saw her.

Everything was quiet.

Peaceful.

Is this what it felt like to die?

No pain.

No worries.

Just peace.

You felt your soul suspended in the air. You didn’t know where you were. Everything was pitch black, but you felt so calm. It was almost like you could feel your fear but you knew there was nothing to be afraid of. The fear that was inside of you felt numbing.

“Hey.” Cassandra sat next to you on the front porch.

The sun was just setting on the horizon. You wrapped your arms around your legs as you wiped the tears that rolled down your cheeks. You have spent the afternoon crying on the front porch after your mom had scolded you for not doing the chores right.

“Just ignore, mom. You know how she is.” Cassandra said, her eyes staring directly at the pink clouds in front of her.

“I’m never gonna be good enough for her.” You whispered. “You know, she loves you more.”

Cassandra shook her head. “No, she doesn’t.”

“Everyone always loves you, Cassandra.” You gazed up at her. “You’re the smart one. The older, responsible one. I don’t know what I’m good at.”

You hung your head low, holding back the tears that were welling up in your eyes. You sniffed and wiped your nose with the back of your hand.

“You’re always better at talking to other people than me.” Cassandra gave you a warm smile. “People always love your charm and wit.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “But never the smart one.”

Both of you looked over your shoulder when you heard your mom’s voice arguing with your dad. Both of you sighed in unison as you stared back at the pink sunset that was in front of you.

“We’ll go somewhere nice someday.” Cassandra gave you a reassuring smile. “And you’re going to be an artist, and we can buy a nice house on top of a hill with a nice view of the city.”

You smiled at her idea. “Then, you and your girlfriend or wife would be with us too. I’ll have someone too, and he’ll love me in the best possible way.” Your eyes sparkled. “Then, Kenji can come visit too. He’s my best friend. He’s always welcome in our home.”

Cassandra laughed softly, pulling you into her arms. “Wherever I go, I’ll take you with me.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.” Cassandra smiled.

A sudden wave of pain washed over you. Your leg, your head and every bone of your body.

The pain was excruciating.

Fluttering your eyes open, you were greeted by a bright light. Everything around you was a blur. You adjusted your vision, blinking your eyes repeatedly. As soon as your vision cleared up, you were first greeted by a tiny window above the wall across from you, light coming through it. You were still a little dazed out as you reached to touch your forehead. You let out a small groan, feeling the cut that was there but was now bandaged up. You grunted softly, pushing yourself up from the uncomfortable bed that you were laying on and saw your leg was all bandaged up too.

Thank god, it wasn’t broken. You could still move it.

Your eyes studied the four walls that surrounded you. A toilet and a sink was sitting across the room and a metal door with a small opening in the middle. It was one of those doors where you could find in a prison where they could insert food in the small opening. You groaned in pain as you tried to push yourself off the bed. Your eyes studied the small room. The cement walls were dirty and full of scratches. It was like a wild animal was in here before.

You walked towards the metal door and yanked the handle with all your strength but it was no use. Of course, it was locked up.

“Help!” You screamed, banging your fist on the metal door. “Get me out of here!”

“Hey!” A soldier from the other side used the end of his gun to bang on the door. “Stand down!”

“Get me the fuck out of here!” You screamed, banging your fist repeatedly and harder on the door.

You saw your knuckles started bleeding, but you didn’t care. You wanted to get out. You needed to get out. What happened to Kenji? Your parents? Castle? Sara and Sonya? Brendan and Winston? The rest of the Omega Point?

Ohmygod, Omega Point.

The realization was just now hitting you. Omega Point was destroyed, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of you. Did you get caught?

Aaron.

You were supposed to meet him tonight. Did Aaron know about this? Was Kenji right? Was he playing double agent and used you the last several months? Your heart was racing as you slid your back against the metal door and fell on the floor. You pulled your knees closed to your chest.

This was your fault.

What if all this time Kenji was right? What if Aaron had played you all this time? The thought of it made your heart shatter in pieces. You didn’t know what to believe anymore. You didn’t know where you were, and you didn’t know if the others were even alive. You remembered Kenji on the ground unconscious. The guilt was slowly eating you up as tears welled up in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered quietly to yourself. “This is all my fault.”

You couldn't imagine everyone being dead. You kept telling yourself that they were okay. That they were still alive, but you honestly didn’t know if you should believe that. Panic shot through your body as you moved yourself back to the bed.

It was all your fault.

All your fault.

The words repeated in your mind as you breathed heavily, tears streaming down your face. You were weak. You always thought with your heart and not with your mind. Your mom always told you that. Curling on your side, you clutched your hand above your heart and closed your eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kenji sat at the edge of your bed.

Your eyes were bloodshot red because you have been crying ever since you have arrived at Omega Point. It was the first time you saw Kenji since you and your parents moved to the base.

“I miss Cassandra.” You whispered, wiping your tears. “Why did she leave like that?”

Kenji shrugged, moving himself next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“I don’t know.” He said. “She said she had to do what she had to do.”

“It’s not fair.” You murmured. “I thought we’re in this together no matter what.”

Kenji softly rubbed your arm as you clung onto him, burying your face on his shoulder.

“Please don’t leave me too.” You sobbed.

“I’m not going anywhere, Princess.” Kenji smiled. “I’m always next to you, no matter what. I’ll take care of you, while Cassandra is away.”

Time was frozen inside your prison room. You didn’t know what time it was and how long you had been in this room. You only knew if it was daytime or nighttime through the small window above you. You had pushed your bed against the wall and stood on top of it to see what was on the outside through the small window, but it was unfamiliar. All you could see were fences and soldiers guarding outside.

It was raining again.

You had slept for hours after breaking down again earlier, but you didn’t know how long you had been sleeping. You woke up and saw someone delivered some food through the small opening of the metal door. You were trained for this. You didn’t know if you should trust the food that you were given, but the aroma of it was making you hungry even more. You sat on your uncomfortable bed, knees closed to your chest, arms wrapped around them and stared at your food on the floor.

It was just a piece of bread and a soup, but you couldn’t bring yourself to eat it. You didn’t know what they had put in there. Sliding yourself from your bed, you walked towards the sink and turned on the faucet to hydrate yourself. Water was the only thing that kept you going, but you knew you had to feed yourself somehow. Turning around, you studied the room, trying to see if you could find a weak spot for you to be able to dig your way out and escape.

You sighed. You couldn’t focus right because your body was feeling weak and the more you were trying to avoid the food that was sitting on the floor, the more the thought of it kept itching your brain. You laid on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You tried to focus your attention somewhere else but being trapped inside this room was making you crazy. You needed to figure something out to get out of there. You needed to find the others. You hoped that they were still alive, but you weren’t too sure about that anymore.

Shifting your eyes towards the food, you slowly got up from your bed and grabbed the piece of bread that was sitting on the plate. You smelled it for a moment and your fingers played with the crust before tearing it apart. You slowly held it up in front of your lips before finally eating a small piece of it. You felt your stomach thanked you for finally feeding it as you tore apart the bread again and ate the rest of it. Then, you grabbed the bowl of soup and ate the rest of it too.

Leaning your back against the wall, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You felt fine. Maybe the food wasn’t poisoned at all. You moved yourself back on your bed and buried your face on the palm of your hands. You didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t understand anything or whatever was happening. You didn’t know if Aaron was still to be trusted. You didn’t know if Kenji or your parents or the others were still alive.

You just wanted to scream. You felt so weak. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you sobbed in your hands. The guilt was killing you slowly, and it would be all your fault if everyone was dead. It was your fault for making such a reckless decision.

How could you let your heart lead you like this? You weren’t thinking at all.

You should have listened to Kenji in the first place.

Then, your attention was caught when the door swung open and three soldiers entered your room.

“What are you doing?” You gazed up, tears staining your cheeks as you moved back.

“Stand down!” One of the soldiers yelled, grabbing you by the forearm.

“No, wait! Let me go!” You struggled in his grip as another soldier grabbed your other arm.

The third soldier wrapped his hand around your jaw, tilting your head as you tried to struggle in their grip.

“Let me go—!”

Just like that, a needle was inserted in your neck and darkness took over you.

************

Taglist:

@gracie-221 @his-littlefox @hannahmarie71 @ecliphttlunar @indythefandomhoarder @reminiscentreader @hrtsbecca @soulaires @shattermelyhfmlblog @wildesqdreams @pookiebearnancy @ant-thebooknerd @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @boliviajane @lucky7rosie

#Aaron Warner #Aaron Warner x Reader #Aaron Warner x You #Aaron Warner x Fem!Reader #Aaron Warner Imagines #Aaron Warner Fanfics #Aaron Warner Fics #Shatter Me #Shatter Me Series #Shatter Me Fics #Shatter Me Fanfics #Kenji Kishimoto #Kenji Kishimoto x Reader #Kenji Kishimoto x You #Kenji Kishimoto x Fem!Reader #cruel summer #blairrwaldorfs

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alternative-ffa · 5 months

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In the real world, it's incredibly rare for me to lay eyes on a man fat enough to fulfill my interests. And it's even more rare to meet one and have the honor of spending time with and near him.

Edgar was a friend of a friend. He always showed up at the parties I attended, and I found myself looking forward to his arrival with a level of desire I knew I shouldn't have.

I had arrived early at my friend's house, not on purpose, but due to the lack of traffic that I had anticipated. I sat on the couch as my friend ran to her room to get dressed. I watched the screensaver on the TV - the view of the world from space. How small we were, I thought, as I watched the storms over the continents. The screen door opened at the rear of the house and I heard the familiar huffing and puffing of a man so fat that a regular length staircase winded him.

I wanted to get up immediately to greet him. It was one of two chances to hug him and feel his huge belly pushing against me without any suspicion of ulterior motives. But I waited. He was still winded from the staircase and stayed by the door as he caught his breath. I smiled and waved from the couch, as if he was just any guest who arrived. (He wasn't just any guest to me, he was the highlight of my night). He waved back then went to the kitchen to put his beer in the fridge.

He waddled into the living room, still slightly winded, and I must have been blushing. My foundation covered the redness of my cheeks, to my relief. I stood up and said with my familiar kindness, "Let me give you a real greeting." Referencing my distant wave when he had originally entered the house. He smiled at me and put his arms out as I held him in a quick platonic embrace. I could have stayed in his arms forever - my hands on his thick back, unable to meet due to his girth; his belly pushing up against me. He wore the same thing he always did. No one questioned it, but I knew it was because of the difficulty of finding comfortable clothes in his size. The hug lasted less than 2 seconds, but I soaked up every sensation, knowing I only had the two opportunities to hug him: when he arrived and when I left.

I sat back on the couch, but moved over to the corner, trying to leave enough room for him to sit. It wasn't much room, which caused me to over analyze. If I left too much room, would he think I didn't want to be near him? If I left too little room, would he think I wasn't aware of the space he needed to sit comfortably? I tried to meet somewhere in the middle. He grunted with effort as he sat next to me. His belly touched my arm by accident as he sat and he said jovially, "sorry, I'll have to be a little too close for comfort."

I chuckled kindly and said, "no problem."

I wanted to say, "get as close as possible. Hell, rest the beautiful fat of your belly on my leg." But I knew that wouldn't be received well. Or, at least, I felt that it wouldn't be received well. It's a fine line to walk as an FFA in a world where fat was a bad thing.

At this point, I had known him for about a year. I only saw him at these parties, but neither of us ever missed one, so it was about 6 nights a year that I saw him. With each party he got more social and more comfortable with me. But I tried not to read into it.

I know that my big mouth probably got back to him. After a few drinks, I'd whisper to friends about how gorgeous he was, and how much I enjoyed his size. My silly, but accurate expression of my sexual desire: "oh the things I'd do to him!" Never when he was in earshot. But I subconsciously knew that my attraction had been expressed to him at some point.

This particular night, he spent most of his time on the couch playing video games with others. I never wanted to leave his side, but I also didn't want to be too obvious, so I socialized with the other guests.

To my enjoyment, every time I returned to the couch, there was always a space for me next to him. I don't believe it was on purpose, but rather, because others didn't want to get too close. So the space next to him always remained unoccupied. I would side-walk by the others on the couch, stepping over feet and squeezing by the center coffee table until I reached the free seat next to Edgar. I'd plop myself down - probably with a little more plop than usual, hoping his belly would jiggle as I landed next to him. But I'd only see it in my periphery. If only my attraction was more mainstream; I'd be able to look at him with more obvious desire.

The night always passed too quickly. He usually stayed the night, and I always thought of that small possibility of drinking just a little too much... being able to stay and falling asleep against him, my arm around his belly, my hand cupping the fat that fell down to his knees. I would do that completely sober, but thought that it would be less awkward if I had the excuse of drunkenness to fall back on. But it could never happen.

Midnight came and went, and I knew it was time to leave. I sighed to myself: just another night with him and another opportunity missed. I hugged all the remaining guests goodbye, and kept him for last. My heels clicked on the hardwood floor towards him. He smiled from the couch and extended his fat arms as I leaned down to hug him. I wanted to bury my face in his neck (or at least the fat that hid his neck), take a deep breath of his smell, kiss him, grab his rolls and tell him how beautiful he was. But, that was not possible. The goodbye hug lasted less than a few seconds. I had to hide my disappointment as I moved away from him.

The party was over - and another opportunity of doting on him and his beauty passed me by.

Now to wait until the next party...

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pipthegreat · 3 months

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What is “Digital Fun Park!”?:

“The new horror VR game of the year.. Digital Fun Park! You, the player, will explore and figure out the mystery behind this shut down park even with the help of an old mascot: Caine! Who seems friendly enough. Little do you know.. the park holds more underneath its surface. Pre order the game for only $15.99 and get 1 week early access before its public release!”

The premise of the game was to take the player through a themepark which would slowly turn into a land of horrors. The creators of this concept didn't have a full grasp on how everything would go but decided to put all their money into making the game even if they themselves didn't have an exact idea for it. Unfortunately it didn't last long. One of the creators went missing and without them, the budget started to decrease because of the funding to find this lost person. The game was never released and was left unfinished for years, and the creator who was left, gave up on the project all together when they were only halfway finished. Everyone left the work for the game, but the game itself couldn't rest when something awoke in it, something that would have consequences if not destroyed completely.

Caine, the one who would've helped the player through the game, came to life because of a virus and began to live inside the game as if a human being trying to thrive in an “unfamiliar” environment. Soon enough he found out how to add and edit, so he created his own friends so he wouldn't be alone in this digital world. But, the coding of the game began corrupting these characters and forming them into something that is now a part of the game, monsters out for blood. Before the game was fully left, the coders made scripts inside the game for all of the horror characters that were yet to be made, so without something to actually code, it took over the new models thinking they were what they're supposed to code and script. Caine wasn't much of a fan of befriending something out of control.. but what else can he do? That's when he came up with the best idea out there! Bringing humans from the real world to this world!

Caine would hack into unknown computers and advertise the game so an unfortunate soul would download it and play it on VR if they have one at all. And it worked! People started getting themselves sucked into the game but that came with problems. These humans started going insane and getting attacked by what he calls "abstracted NPC’s". This came with the consequence of the humans getting ‘hacked’ with the code and turning into the abstracted themselves. How to keep the abstracted away and stop the humans from going insane? Adventures of course! Caine would create new big land to distance all of the abstracted away from his new friends while at the same time giving the humans something to do! If only he could control their minds though; sometimes they just give up on it all per-say and sacrifice themselves to the abstracted. More humans will come so why complain? He's not lonely anymore right?

---

First thing in the lore document! I will post more of the continent's inside of the doc and when everything is in order (which will take a while) the document will go public! If any of my posts have the image like this one below, it'll be in be in the document 👍

#artists on tumblr #the amazing digital circus #tadc #digital circus #the digital circus #tadc au #the amazing digital circus au #au #Digital Fun Park!#the digital fun park #digital fun park #lore shit #Digital Fun Park! lore #the amazing digital circus caine #tadc caine #caine #tadc fandom #lore

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windmaedchen-oceanhorn · 2 months

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More Valen & Fay Headcanons

I've done some digging today, and I found more pre-release backstories. I really needed to get my thoughts sorted and put out, so there is no drawing this time... 🙇‍♀️

Let's just say, overall, I like all these previous ideas and will use them as the basis of my headcanons, as long as it is possible to incorporate them into the current canon of AFK Journey.

So you understand what's from the beta backstories, I marked them appropriately. Since this folder is pinned publicly in the AFK Journey Discord, I assume there is no harm in sharing it here also. 💎 = Fay's backstory ⚔️ = Valen's backstory 🪙 = Atalanta's backstory 👣 = AFK Journey game

Here we go...

Stoutstone Isle is known for its gemstones and other natural riches (💎).

Fay bemoans her being inferior to her parents, both "smart" Evergreen Conservatory scholars. (👣, Fay's Mystery Theater II)

Fay has been absolutely spoiled by her grandfather, so she can be certain of his love and adoration (💎), but I can imagine that she feels insecure about her parent's love AND Valen's love for her. Valen more so than her parents, but they all kinda left her behind after all and she is beyond the moon to now be roaming the world with the Evergreen Conservatory (👣), having the chance to do stuff that'll impress them all.

I still think Valen's father is the one born into the ruling family of Stoutstone Isle. He became a scholar of the Evergreen Conservatory and got to know Valen's mother there. Both spend most time on the main continent but visit occasionally.

Valen has not forgotten his sister and he sometimes writes her a letter (💎). She hates him for leaving, but loves him for at least sending her elaborate letters from the mysterious outside world. I bet, upon meeting her bro again after so many years, the first thing she does is telling him off for his horrible handwriting. xD

I think I will stick to the explanation given here as to why Fay and Valen don't ACT like they know each other during the Remnant Peaks main story arc. I am inclined to believe, however, that for the two little sidequests "Fay's Mystery Theater I & II", they know who they are even if they are not mentioning their relationship specifically. This revelation happened off-screen and since their backstories aren't further elaborated on in-game, it isn't revealed here either. Merlin knows at that point.

They act close enough that I think it's too odd and unbelievable that they still don't recognise each other.

But I admit that they COULD be acting a lot more akin to the first AFK Journey trailer IF THEY DID know each other then.

The Japanese release is close at hand. If someone was willing to keep an eye open, it might be worth checking out their conversations in Remnant Peaks and that side quest. The Japanese like to address siblings with certain pronouns and I would not be surprised if Fay, at least, would have this implemented in her speech whenever she talks to Valen. (But how adorable would it be if Valen did the same to his little sister? xD)

Fay's backstory explains why Valen and her join Merlin in the first AFK Journey trailer. Miasma (I take it, that's maybe an early version of the corruption appearing all over the place, announcing the return of the Hypogeans) has appeared on Stoutstone Isle and Fay ventures out to find her brother and with him, a solution to the Miasma problem = trying to safe their home island. (💎) Since this doesn't quite work with current canon, I have to ditch this particular part. At least to the extend that the Miasma is known to Fay. I don't rule out that Stoutstone Isle may have to be rescued by Merlin, much like the Dark Forest, at a later point of the game.

Valen's beta-backstory made him a member of the Gray Foxes for possibly the entire 8 years after he has left home and before meeting Merlin (⚔️). However, in the current canon he reveals that he's lived in Holistone for "a long time" and the theft of the Faith Stone seems to have been a couple of years ago, too. My personal estimate is that he was about 5-6 years in Holistone… and thus about 2-3 years with the Gray Foxes.

Just as Valen was a member of the Gray Foxes for some time, so was Atalanta! In Atalanta's beta backstory it is revealed that she was a lone wolf, fighting on her own, with huge trust issues. None of her colleagues would work with her, except for Valen. When he insists to help the villagers fight after a job done, Atalanta is basically just walking away, leaving him to fight alone. Of course, while she had every intention to not turn back, she sees hidden archers about to burry their arrows in Valen's back, and she just can't NOT help after all. Without showing herself, she leaves Valen to fight alone in the front lines, but she does take out the enemies in his back. She doesn't admit it, but Valen later knows that she stayed and helped, since he found her arrows all over the battlefield. (🪙)

Even though their relationship was a professional one, and probably not a close one, I could imagine that Valen considered himself in debt to her. So when Atalanta "slipped" away from the HO in Remnant Peaks… it was, as surmised by other fans, done on purpose by Valen. In such a way that he specifically won't lose his face, though. Thus Valen might have paid back what he owed to her. I still have to think more clearly about the violence and crimes in this game, but hey, the Faith Stone WAS a pretty valuable item and proven to have been stolen by Atalanta. If she had been convicted, in all seriousness, I don't think a death penalty would be all that unlikely. Bandits are killed on the spot for way less. (See Hendrik's backstory, AFK Arena).

When Atalanta appears during Remnant Peaks, even though there is no "hi, how have you been" between her and Valen, it is HE who advocates for her being their guide. A reference to their shared past and another "opportunity" given to her to be trusted? ;-)

Reading Atalanta's backstory made me understand her a bit better. But I must still admit, that she doesn't click with me at all. I'd even say, I kinda hate her. But THAT makes me actually appreciate her existence since I can like other characters even more thanks to her. xD

And that is it for now! Thanks for considering my ideas and please do let me know what you think! You can always message me or send an ask. 🥰

#afk journey #afk valen #hcs #afk fay #afk atalanta #I am developing things as I go along #the more I learn about the lore of afk journey (or afk arena) the more I think and the more I may have to adapt #since I haven't played afk arena I am mostly focusing on afk journey BUT I will take bits and pieces from arena if I get to know them

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amsgrey · 2 years

Text

Little Sister Hugs

requested: yes

synopsis: Jay gets stuck undercover in a risky case, and Voight warns you and Will that you might be at risk. You and Will get brought in by detectives who have their own plans.

warnings: canon typical violence, gun violence, threats and general bad vibes from criminals

please enjoy this extremely angsty fic bc its the last one for a while lol

You had been living with Jay for most of your life, even before your father died. You were so young when your mother died, your father essentially became a shell of himself. Leaving Jay to take care of you while Will pursued his career across another continent. When you were 7, Jay became a detective and the relationship between him and your dad became more strained.

You were so used to having Jay around all of the time that it was hard when he stopped visiting or staying over so much. As a result, your life started to get worse. Your father was never much of a parent to you, he did his best but you knew you were a mistake. He'd told Jay once that you looked so much like your mother that he saw her every time you were around. Although he was never very affectionate to you before, any sense of fatherly care had gone by the time you turned 8. Jay had decided enough was enough, knowing that Will wouldn't be able to do anything from New York, he decided to become your guardian. Ever since then, you had lived with him and he'd become more of a parent to you than anyone else ever was.

You had always known Jay had a dangerous career, but he had done risky jobs your entire life. You were used to it by now. He was always extra careful when he went undercover to make sure he didn't get tailed home, or bring any of his work around you unwittingly. When Will moved back home, he'd stayed with you two for a while. Then when Jay went undercover you would stay with Will.

Now, you were 16, you had complained about having to stay with Will while Jay was undercover.

"I can take care of myself fine," You told Jay, dragging your feet when he told you to pack your stuff.

"I know you can," Jay responded, holding you by the shoulders, "But I'm not taking any risks. I want to know you're definitely safe."

You groaned, letting him pull you into a hug and pretending to be mad about it, "You're such a sop."

Jay scoffed, pushing you away and grabbing your bag, "Get your ass in the car."

You laughed, trailing behind him while giggling about how irritated he looked.

Living with Will short term was alright, but it'd been almost two weeks and you were starting to realise why Jay took care of you instead of him. You didn't mind his late shifts or ever changing schedule because you were so used to Jays.

The only problem was you were so used to going to the district after school that it felt wrong not too. You'd complained to Will about it and he'd promised that after school on Friday you could come to Med and he'd get away early so you could go get dinner.

When Friday rolled around, you were excited to actually do something fun. Most of the time you hated hospitals, but knowing it would be a short visit was beareable.

Maggie beamed when she saw you, pulling you into a hug and immediately teasing you about being the "mini Halstead" like she always did. Normally you would go to the doctor's lounge to wait, but Maggie told you that it was being used for something so she pulled a chair up at the nurse's station for you.

Will spotted you from across th ED and made a B line for you, "Hey, kid, how was school?"

You leaned your head back to look at him, grinning at him upside down, "Good. How is work?"

Will grinned back, "Good." he copied, "Got any homework?"

You nodded, grabbing out the biology homework you'd gotten in 3rd period. You showed it to him, declaring, "my favourite!"

He laughed, "Just try it, i'll check the answers tonight, yeah?"

"yeah yeah," You replied, letting him give you a kiss on the forehead before he went back to his actual work.

Biology was not your strong suit - to be honest, neither was any other science but you at least liked chemistry. Biology was just boring. It didn't help that your science teacher's specialty was biology, so all the homework he gave was biology. Normally Will would go through it with you, but he'd tried to convince you to try it on your own the last few days. You'd told him he was the only Halstead who understood biology and would always be the only Halstead who understood biology.

You hadn't been in the ED much the last few years, which was an accomplishment knowing your family. Jay had managed to avoid getting hurt at work and Will knew how much you disliked the ED so he would invite you to the work hang-outs so you could still see Maggie and the others without going into Med. As you sat trying to work through your exercise, you realized just how chaotic and loud the ED was. No wonder Will came home exhausted most nights. It was like trying to concentrate when the entire world was buzzing around you.

You couldn't help but watch Will as he worked, he looked so in his element that it made you proud to be his sister. As you were watching him and Dr Asher converse, a hand on your shoulder almost made you jump out of your skin.

You whirled around to see Dr Marcel looking remorseful, "Didn't mean to scare you."

You sighed, putting a hand over your racing heart, "How do you walk so quietly?"

he laughed, pulling up a chair and sitting next to you. He glanced over what you were working on, "Mitosis and Meiosis." He read aloud.

You scowled down at the words, "I really don't see why I need to know this."

Crockett laughed, "Not planning on being a doctor?"

You turned your scowl on him, "I'd rather die."

He grinned and shook his head at your antics, "I'm a little offended."

You shrugged, turning back to your paper and continuing to doodle in the margins.

Dr Marcel watched for a few seconds before he asked, "Do you need some help?"

"Oh my god, please," You begged, "Will normally helps but well-" You both looked over to see him entering a treatment room.

Dr marcel took your paper from you, scanning over it and reading the instructions for each exercise, "Seems easy enough."

"Easy?" You scoffed.

Your banter drew the attention of Dr Archer, who made his way over to where you were sitting and leaned on the desk in front of you, "Might I ask why one of my doctors is sitting here and not doing his job?" He scolded.

Immediately you drew back, Dr Archer was kind of an ass from what you heard about him. The few times you met him he was intimidating and sometimes dismissive. There was something about how hard his stare was that always made you want to slink away.

Dr Marcel didn't seem at all fazed, immediately challenging Dr Archer, "Well, Dean, I'm on transplant today and we have no cases, so I came down here to see where I could help and i found it."

Dr Archer looked down at your homework, "Mitosis and Meiosis? You could be more help elsewhere."

Crockett hummed in disapproval, "I disagree, helping the new generation of doctors and nurses."

The Chief of ED turned to you, "You want to be a doctor?"

In the corner of your eye you could see Dr Marcel trying to silent tell you to say yes.

"Uh, maybe?" You replied, trying not to laugh.

Dr Archer let out a quiet, 'hm' and then left you to it. When he did, Will made his way back over to you.

"Please tell me you aren't stirring up trouble," He sighed, sitting against the desk.

"I would never," You replied sarcastically.

"Oh sure," He responded, playfully poking your shoulder. "Are you ready to get going?"

Your face lit up at the prospect of leaving, "Yes!"

Will glanced over your majority empty worksheet, "No success on biology?"

Dr Marcel chuckled, "I tried but I don't know if she's cut out to be a doctor."

You frowned, "Ha. Ha."

Will grinned at you, grabbing your bag off the floor and letting you say goodbye to Dr Marcel and Maggie so you could leave.

As you were walking out you stopped to wave bye to Hannah, who had been too busy to come see you but waved goodbye anyway.

As you were climbing into Will's car and putting on your seatbelt he got a call.

"Hello?" He answered.

You could hear another male voice on the other end. he hung up after a minute and started the car, looking almost concerned.

"Who was that?"

"Sargent Voight," He told you, "He's sending an unmarked car to pick us up from my place soon, as a precaution."

You frowned, "Is Jay okay?"

"I think so," He responded, "Sounds like they're just being cautious."

You nodded but didn't feel too convinced. You both sat in silence the entire ride. When you got home you both sat around waiting for the non-uniforms to come to get you. Will reheated some of last night's leftovers, giving them to you and telling you to eat quickly. You didn't have an appetite seeming the situation, but took a few bites to shut him up.

The knock at the door startled both of you, even though you were expecting it. Will opened the door to reveal two detectives.

"Will Halstead?" One of them asked.

"Yeah," He replied, ushering you over to join him.

"I'm detective Davis, this is my partner Detective Nash, would you come with us?" As he spoke he showed you his badge and his partner did the same, and then they were leading the way down the stairs to the car they had parked in front of the house.

You and Will climbed in the back, cut off from the two in the front by the screen. You leaned over to Will and joked about how it felt like you were being arrested, he rolled his eyes at your bad joke.

About ten minutes into the drive Will's phone started ringing again, he reached for it but the detective in the passenger seat whirled around, "Don't answer that."

Will frowned, showing him the screen, "It's Sergeant Voight," he explained.

"I don't care," He snapped back, "Don't answer it."

You couldn't see anything from where you were sitting, but Will's eyes kept flicking between the man's face and lower body like he was watching something. He put the phone down and raised his hands in defeat. The detective turned back in his seat, mumbling something under his breath.

Will looked over at you and say the concern in your eyes, he leaned over and whispered, "Don't worry, it's alright."

You nodded, taking a deep breath to try to calm your nerves. You fished your own phone out of your pocket, seeing a missed call from Voight as well. You always had your phone on silent, it seemed for once missing a call was actually useful. Voight was notorious for not checking his texts in a hurry, so you quickly pulled up Kim's contact. Will watched you silently, keeping an eye on the two hostile detectives.

You typed out a rushed message to Kim; Some detectives picked us up, but we aren't going to the district.

Immediately it showed Kim had read the text, typing out a reply.

Detectives?

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, showing Will the reply. You both shared a worried look.

You replied, Detective Nash and Davis.

Another message from Kim came through. Do you know where you are?

You looked out the window, trying to find street signs, you were terrible at remembering names. Before you could type out the reply, the car veered off the road to a shingle path. The road opened up to a quarry, which in the evening light looked much more ominous than you liked. You quickly shoved your phone under the passenger seat to make sure they wouldn't see it.

The 'detectives' got out of the car and the driver barked, "Stay here and don't make any noise."

You and Will listened to their footsteps move away from the car. Once they were out of the car you let out a shaky breath you had been holding. Will unclipped his seatbelt then undid yours, pulling you closer to him and wrapping his arms around you.

He soothed a hand up and down your back, "Stay calm, it'll be alright. Nice easy breaths."

You nodded, resting your cheek against his chest and hugging him back to try calm yourself down. After a moment the footsteps returned, they walked to your door and yanked it open. Detective Nash impatiently waved for you to exit. You hesitantly shuffled out of the car, crying out when he grabbed your arm and roughly pulled you away from Will.

He pulled his gun out of his holster, "You try anything, she gets one between the eyes," he said to Will, waving his gun around for emphasis.

He handcuffed your hands in front of you, Detective Davis handcuffing Will's behind him. Then Davis was dragging Will along with him along a track through the grass, you and the other detective following. Will kept looking back over his shoulder at you, silently telling you to remain calm.

The path in the grass opened into a work site, you walked past an excavator that looked older than you. Past the mess of old materials and machinery, the site was relatively clear. Apart from the group of five gathered men.

As you got closer you recognized one of them as Jay, he was wearing a dress shirt and pants and had clearly taken a recent beating to the face. His nose was still dripping blood. He was also handcuffed, when he spotted you and Will his nostrils flared in anger and he strained against his restraints.

You and Will were forced to your knees in front of the group. When you glanced around the other members, you noticed two of them had badges clipped to their belts. These were cops. It took all of your self control not to start crying, your brain was screaming at you to do something, but your body just trembled uncontrollably.

"So," One of the men started, "Now that your cover is blown, Detective Halstead," he spoke Jay's title like he was mocking him, "I thought you would enjoy seeing your family again."

Jay and Will were staring at each other, no doubt silently talking to each other like they always did. You used to joke they had twin telepathy but without the 'twin' part. Now it seemed they were silently trying to figure out a game plan.

It's useless. Your brain kept repeating. You were in the middle of nowhere, no one would hear anything this far away from residents, not at this hour. Even if they did, what could be done? There was no happy ending tonight.

The man who spoke before broke from the line, taking up a place next to you threateningly. You glanced up at Jay, trying to put yourself anywhere but here.

"I'll ask you again, Detective," He said, "What do you and your team have?"

You shook your head ever so slightly, no matter what Jay couldn't compromise his case. Even if he did share what they knew, you would all still die anyway. Dirty cops had almost nothing to loose.

Jay shook his head, "Not enough to make a solid case."

The man growled, he threw something to the ground, "But you had a recording device on you all the time? How could you not have anything?"

Jay opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by the man, "If you lie to me again Halstead," He grabbed a fistful of your hair, pressing the muzzle of his gun to your temple, "Your pretty little sister pays the price."

Will started to protest, but was cut off by a sharp punch by Nash. Any concern on jays face had gone, you knew his well enough to see the glint of fear in his eyes, but mostly he just looked livid.

"I don't know what my team has," He said slowly, "I haven't spoken to them in a few days, they might have more-"

You couldn't help but cry out in surprise when you were being hauled to your feet by your hair, straight away your scalp felt like it was on fire.

"You really want to see your sister's brains all over the place?"

The irrational side of your brain took charge and you argued, "You're going to kill us anyway."

The man looked at you shocked as if he didn't know other people could talk. When he stared at you any drenge of confidence left you.

Oh shit.

Part of you felt a little proud for standing up to him, but the majority felt paralysing fear. You wouldn't even be able to defend yourself from this man, he was at least twice your size.

"You know what, I like her," He chortled, "And she's not wrong. Not completely. I'll kill you and your brother, Detective, but her?"

He let go of your hair and grabbed your chin tightly, pulling your face towards him like he was inspecting it.

"Can't let a pretty face like that go to waste."

Your heart pounded in your ears, you could feel yourself start to freeze up with fear.

He turned to Davis, ordering, "Put her in my car."

"No!" You protested, trying to fight back against the man who was much stronger than you. You glanced over your shoulder to see Jay and Will fighting back too, shouting obscene threats.

Davis dragged you kicking and screaming to a black SUV, he opened the door and shoved you in, not caring how rough he was being. Before the door shut he unlocked your cuffs, smirking at the fact you would still be as useless. When the door shut you immediately tried to open it, pulling uselessly at the handle. You tried the other side, then attempted the front doors but none would budge. You were locked in. throwing all sense out the window, you tried to break the glass by kicking it. It didn't even flex. You knew it was useless, it was probably reinforced or bulletproof.

It didn't mean you stopped trying. You eventually kicked the window so many times that it was starting to hurt your foot. You stopped for a moment to gather your thoughts. The sound of gunfire echoed around the quarry.

"No!" You screamed, pounding your fists against the window, "LEt me out, let me out!"

You could picture the scene, your brothers dead in the dirt, having not stood a chance. Your brain burned the fake image in your mind, convincing you it was real. You let out a choked sob, tears burning your eyes as you sobbed into your hands.

Over the sound of your laboured breathing, you heard footsteps approaching. You forced yourself to get as far away from the door as you could, tucking into a tight ball in the far corner of the seat. You prepared yourself to give one last fight, scrubbing the tears out of your eyes you your sleeve.

When the door opened, Hailey stood on the other side.

"Hey, hey," She said quietly, offering you her hand, "You're alright."

You hesitantly took her hand, letting her help you out of the car. When you were out, you glanced around to see patrol cops gathered around. You locked eyes with Will, dropping Hailey's hand and rushing to him, locking him into a hug.

Will immediately wound his arms around you, holding you tightly to his chest and promising he was okay, everything was okay. You cried into his chest, unable to hold back the raw emotions that had coursed through you moments before. Will gently pried your arms from around his waist, tucking your hair behind your ears.

"I know someone else who might need a hug," He said softly, guiding you back through the site to the entrance where an ambulance was parked. He nodded to Voight, who gave you a soft smile. You were still attached to Will, holding his arm tightly like it was the only thing holding you together.

Voight stepped out of the way, letting you and WIll approach the ambulance. Jay was sitting on the step, looking exhausted but relatively unharmed. You couldn't help but start crying again, so glad that he was okay. Jay smiled, shakily getting to his feet and reaching out for you. He pulled you into a tight hug, letting you cry into his chest as he soothed your hair and held onto you as he tried to convince himself you were alright.

You pulled away first, trying to clear the tears off your face. "Are you okay?"

He chuckled, "I'm better now."

You couldn't stop yourself from grabbing Will and pulling them both into a hug. When you pulled away you softly poked Jay's arm, sniffling, "You're still a sop."

#jay halstead x sister!reader #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #will halstead x reader #will halstead #halstead sister #will halstead x sister!reader #halstead!sister #sister reader #one chicago #chicago med #chicago pd #one chicago x reader #chicago pd x reader #chicago med x reader #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine

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olympeline · 8 months

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I can see why The Parent Trap became such a staple AU for FACE family FrUK. It’s just too good to resist 😍 Here’s my version:

Francis and Arthur meet when they start attending the same London university: Francis to study fashion, Arthur journalism. Over the next four years they have a classic “enemies to lovers” relationship. They’re a couple by the time they graduate, but an immature and stormy one. Lots of fights, lots of near break ups, lots of making up. They get married early and start living together early, which was probably a mistake as neither were ready for it. They move to Paris (part of the reason for early marriage was visa based) and live together in a tiny, shitty apartment. Lots of up and downs, but life is generally good. Their relationship slowly improves, they grow together and stop fighting so much

Then they have their first real difference of opinion beyond just a spat: Francis has always wanted kids and wants to have them young. Arthur was more unsure, preferring to wait until they were older and settled. Deep down he’s afraid of losing Francis, and so gives in sooner than he should. Francis notices, but lies to himself about the depth of Arthur’s discomfort because he wants children so badly. Again, the immaturity and lack of communication hobbles them. If this problem had come up later, say in their early thirties rather than twenties, they could have handled it and compromised. But it didn’t, so a kid is on the way

Either this is set a little in the future, or Arthur is still his wizard self, but by science or magic they have a pair of twins. Born by surrogate, but Alfred and Matthew are biologically theirs. Alfred resembles Arthur more, Matthew takes after Francis. It doesn’t matter; both dads adore each baby so much it hurts

Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop things getting tough straight away, not in the least because they were only expecting one baby. They planned for one, budgeted for one, then got double. They might have coped, but then Francis’s fledgling fashion business gets an irresistible offer from a company in Quebec. Arthur really doesn’t want to leave France, but grudgingly agrees. They move when the boys are barely toddlers and the stress gets even worse. Moving to a new continent with twin babies and stretched finances? Cracks are starting to appear in the marriage for real by this point

Still, Francis and Arthur cope and hold their relationship together. They’re having problems, but neither wants to split up. They still love each other dearly. Also they have kids now. Even if the love had died, they’d want to try and make it work for their sake. They struggle on for a while and keep their heads above water. Both are too stubborn and proud to get therapy because that would mean admitting how bad things were getting between them.

Then, bombshell: Arthur gets a huge opportunity…but it would mean moving to New York for a year. And after everything, this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Francis doesn’t want to leave Canada because it could have a bad effect on his growing business. Also the boys would be starting kindergarten soon and Francis doesn’t want to uproot them again. Arthur argues he already did the same for Francis, and they’d be back soon anyway. And a boost to Arthur’s career would help set them up for the future, so Alfred and Matthew would benefit in the long run. They can’t agree and things get heated as the deadline for Arthur to accept approaches. Both accuse the other of being selfish and unreasonable. It snowballs from there. Long simmering resentments boil over. They can’t communicate well enough to get through this. One of them leaves to stay with a friend, then just never comes back to live at their apartment. Soon they’re living separate lives and only communicating about the boys. It’s unbearable, unsustainable. Break up. Divorce. The court awards each of them one twin. Arthur takes Alfred and moves to NYC, Francis stays in Quebec with Matthew.

Years pass, the twins start to grow up. There’s so much hurt and bitterness that communication between Francis and Arthur completely breaks down before the boys are old enough to remember their other parent. By the time they start elementary school, it’s total scorched earth. Francis and Arthur just refuse to talk about each other. Alfred bombards Arthur with questions, but his dad is a stone wall. Gentler Matthew gives up more quickly, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less curious. Eventually even Alfred has to give in. The twins accept that their “other dad” will always be a mystery

Life settles. Francis’s fashion label blooms and he and Matthew live a charmed life as Quebec upper crust. Meanwhile, Arthur gets work at a prestigious newspaper and writes historical nonfiction novels in his spare time. Alfred goes to public school and is a loud, joyous, ball of endless energy. Matthew goes to private school and is sweet, academic and well behaved, but so shy.

Both dads watch their son grow with pride. They seem happy, and sometimes they are, but in their private moments, the pain is still there. Francis is better at hiding his emotions than Arthur, while Matthew notices more than Alfred. So each twin knows their father is wistful. Thet can guess it’s about their “other dad.” Alfred and Matthew try to cheer up their dads in their own ways, but the hurt remains

Francis and Arthur never have any other long term relationships. Francis has no trouble finding partners, but nothing sticks. Matthew is secretly glad, then feels bad about it. He wants his papa to be happy but the thought of a stepfather/mother scares him. Meanwhile, Arthur’s dating life is a disaster and after a few years he just gives up on finding new love. Alfred is fine with them being a family of two. He likes having his dad’s attention focused on him rather than some lame boyfriend

That all changes when, after a night of commiseration and far too much whiskey, Arthur ends up in bed with Antonio. Antonio is a fellow immigrant and friend of a work friend, who happens to be going through his own disastrous love life problems. They met through Romano, who works at Arthur’s newspaper as a caustic restaurant critic. Arthur reminds Antonio of Romano, Antonio reminds Arthur of Francis. They’re both lonely and needy. It should have been just a one night stand, but they cling to each other and start a relationship (wrong tsundere, Antonio!) Romantically it’s not good and everyone can see there’s no real spark. But Arthur and Antonio’s hearts are raw by this point and they dive into denial and start living together. Antonio is good with kids and Arthur thinks two parents will make for a better life for his handful of a son. Alfred likes Antonio, but he doesn’t think he should be his stepdad. Nevertheless, Arthur and Antonio get engaged but never set a date

Life settles, life goes on. Arthur starts sending Alfred to summer camp, which he loves. Francis gets a school report that Matthew is a lovely, polite boy, but he could do with trying to be a little more extroverted and making more friends. Francis decides to send him to a highly reviewed summer camp just across the border

At long last, Alfred and Matthew finally meet, and…! Instantly loathe each other. Total antipathy. Alfred sees Mattie as a boring, sissy, goody-two-shoes who just wants to spoil everyone’s fun. Matthew sees Alfred as a loud, obnoxious, dumb, jerk jock who doesn’t care what happens to anyone else so long as he gets to do what he wants. An intense rivalry begins. Neither boy realises how much their lives are about to change

(This is getting really long so stay tuned for part 2! (´ε｀ )♡)

#hetalia #fruk #face family #hws france #hws england #hws america #hws canada #aph france #aph england #aph america #aph canada #parent trap au #my posts #spamano

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dearweirdme · 4 months

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The problem with Daeun is, and that's probably the biggest reason why not a lot of fans are taking this seriously, at least not as seriously as Taennie back then, she was caught actually faking things to get herself connected to Jimin. Obviously I'm not just talking about how literally every picture or video she posts from Jimin's apartment are from 2020 or early 2021 but also her straight up manipulating the dates of pictures she uploads.

For example last year she uploaded the same picture twice in her stories, with a couple of months between and both times manipulated the date of when the picture was taken. The picture was taken in a NineOne apartment. (There's an app for Android, people tested it out and it's working.) The other time where she was caught manipulating things was when Jimin and Jungkook were filming their travel show in Japan and she posted a picture of her in Japan at that time. She manipulated the date again to make it look recent. But people found out that a restaurant that was seen open behind her was closed in 2019/2020. So it was impossible for that picture to be recent.

I do think her old videos and pictures are actually from Jimin's apartment, no matter how much "debunking" Jikookers are doing. But I genuinely think she's an ex-girlfriend that got triggered by something and now wants some kind of revenge. Hence her having to fake anything recent. (Like for example that picture of her with a wine bottle was clearly not taken in Jimin's apartment as the kitchen layout doesn't match.) Jimin just screamed single for the past two years or so. Not only did he full time live with Pdogg for months when creating Face, his song Face-Off is also very clearly about a break up.

All right

I guess the blame is on me

Look at me right now

Living like a fool

Believing in people

Is the beginning of a terrible nightmare

Gave you all the money

Gave you all my heart

Your masquerade party

I was fucking drunk

Even those damn days in the past

It’s all over now

With those sweet words of yours

You tried so hard to take every single thing from me

Look at yourself

You want more, don’t you, why?

It’s okay if you do

It suits you, babe

Even though you test me

Even though you try me

Even though you kill me

Even though you stab me harder

I don't care about you

Even that day that felt like hell

This is way too romantic partner coded. To add to all of this Jimin continously mentioned living alone for the whole past year, spent his days before leaving overseas with his friend Saeon and even the days after coming back he was immediately seen with Saeon again. Jimin made sure to mention that he's just by himself or meeting up with friends after work. But that there were also times where he didn't speak with anyone for two weeks or so. Of course he could be lying but I feel like he wanted to make it clear he's single, probably because he saw that Daeun posted old videos.

That would also explain his silence. Because if he said something, he would have to admit that she is his ex-girlfriend and I think that's something he doesn't want to do. I think they've dated from the end of 2019/beginning of 2020 and ended things in early 2021 because that's the latest pictures and videos she has. Something triggered her to get revenge. Maybe she feels wronged. Or maybe she just wants attention. She announced that she would start a Youtube channel in 2024, so it's also possible she wants some promotion for that, who knows. I genuinely can't imagine her dating Jimin currently with the information we have right now. But those are just my two cents and have nothing to do with Taekook. Sorry. 😅

Hi anon!

Thanks for the input! I haven’t followed the whole situation this in-depth, so I have no clue whether this is all correct. I think what’s most interesting in all this, and that cannot be debunked at all, is that she very publicly linked herself to Jm. It’s not even small hints, it’s undeniable that she means to point to him. The reasons as to why can be speculated on ofcourse. It seems unlikely to me that it’s solely for attention and there not having been a relationship between them. So perhaps she is an ex who feels sad/angry/whatever and decided to expose some things. Could very well be.

#members

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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Making the Case for Elucien’s Book Already Having Been in the Works

The link to SJM’s Live Talks LA with Eva Chen is linked below and takes place after the release of ACOSF but here are some of the important take aways:

Do you have a book planned for the other sister? (referring to Elain)

24:50 - “Yes, to everything. As soon as Nesta and Elain came back on the page in ACOMAF, I knew they would have journey's beyond what the reader was seeing.”

27:55 - “each book is a standalone that features it's own couple”

28:50 - Writing ACOWAR but finishing up ACOMAF - she told her editor "what plans I had for Elain"

29:50 - "because this is where I wanted it go it allowed me to plant things for her journey and even Elain's journey early on"

30:48 - "I always try to keep one eye on the horizon when I'm writing just to make sure in the book I'm working on, I can set up for things later on. So there's lot of little secrets in SF that set up for later.” (this entire line of responses was based around having set up Nesta and ELAIN’s journey so it’s safe to say that some of the secrets she’s referring to in SF are in reference to Elain. E/riels always use Elain and Az’s Bonus Chapter as proof of endgame and that Elain is Az’s secret but SJM is talking about secrets she’s left for the reader to find. Nesta claiming “Az’s secret to tell” is not a secret to the reader at all. Secrets are.....why Nesta placed the carving of the rose made for Elain next to a goddess figure. Secrets are....hinting that Spring was MADE for someone like Elain. Secrets are....placing both Lucien and Elain in Spring in future books as well as hinting that they’ll both end up traveling to the continent where Koschei is. Secrets are the hints that someone other than Rhys may be High King and Lucien is showing the first markers of becoming a High Lord. Secrets are what the real reason for Elain’s stealth like behaviors might be.

33:13 - "basically I want to go everywhere except the Spring Court because Tamlin sucks. But I love the Spring. That's my problem. Some of the seasons I adore but the people who run the courts are like giant douchebags.

50:00 - (talking about Silver Flames) We sent it off to the printer this past fall.

57:00 - Are there any iconic couples in pop culture of history or movies that you "stan", that might have been inspiring for any of the couples in any of your.....

57:36 - I don't think I was inspired by any of the couples but during the pandemic I’d done a bunch of rereading of Pride and Prejudice and listened to it and watched that BBC adaptation but Elizabeth and Darcy are......I can't get enough of their sexual tension.

58:40 - They have just as much sexual chemistry and tension as any graphically described relationship

58:50 - I have spent a lot of time imagining what the Darcy / Elizabeth wedding night would be like.

59:20 - I've spent a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately. Elizabeth and Darcy and their relationship and what he does for her by the end of that book and how she evolves and changes by the end of the book. I mean they both change and evolve and that's what I love most about their story, they're still very much themselves by the end of that book but they develop an understanding of each other and they've also grown because of each other and grown because of confronting each other.

After the last comment at 59:20, SJM then brings it back to Nesta and Cassian saying “and Nesta and Cassian I’m not going to be arrogant enough saying they’re just like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy because they’re different stories but that’s the kind of relationship I like to write about.

.......But, Silver Flames had already been released and at 59:20, she said that she’s been spending a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately. So to me, she’s not thinking about P&P because of Nessian since their story had already been told and theirs was definitely a graphically described romance. She then says Nesta and Cassian are maybe a reverse P&P where she’s more like Mr. Darcy and he’s more like Elizabeth but to me they don’t give off P & P vibes. Sure, Nesta had stubbornness but it was more about her own self hatred. Elizabeth and Darcy’s issues arose because of the first impressions they had about the other person which is very similar to the way Elain and Lucien found out they were Mates, it set the tone for their entire relationship so far (not to mention Lucien initially felt humans were inferior to the Fae in ACOTAR as Darcy struggled with Elizabeth’s “lesser” class). There also wasn’t a lot of sexual tension in Nessian’s book considering the sex played a large role very early on and they lack the propriety that Elizabeth and Darcy did.

There is no other SJM couple that embodies Pride and Prejudice more thoroughly than Elain and Lucien, two characters who need to learn to “confront one another” and I can't imagine why she would have repeatedly been reading / watching / listening to it unless she was channeling Elucien.

Azriel may be broody but his thoughts are extremely graphic in nature and he's violent (not at all Darcy like). There’s also no way for him to still be "very much himself" by the end of his book and end up a match for Elain. SJM likes her characters to grow but not be unrecognizable.

In the same interview she spoke of hints for Elain’s journey, she calls Tamlin a douchebag so I highly doubt she’s building towards a Tamlain ship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrC23s33UxI&t=1742s

#pro elucien #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #anti tamlain #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elain and lucien #lucien x elain

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kemetic-dreams · 1 year

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Lincoln to Slaves: Go Somewhere Else

The issue of slavery divided the country under Abraham Lincoln’s Presidency. The national argument was simple: either keep slavery or abolish it. But Abraham Lincoln, known as the Great Emancipator, may have also been known as the Great Colonizer when he supported a third direction to the slavery debate: move African Americans somewhere else.

Long before the Civil War, in 1854, Lincoln addressed his own solution to slavery at a speech delivered in Peoria, Illinois: “I should not know what to do as to the existing institution [of slavery]. My first impulse would be to free all the slaves, and send them to Liberia, to their own native land.” While Lincoln acknowledged this was logistically impossible, by the time he assumed the Presidency and a Civil War was underfoot, the nation was in such duress that he tried it anyway.

By early 1861, Lincoln ordered a secret trip to modern-day Panama to investigate the land of a Philadelphian named Ambrose Thompson. Thompson had volunteered his Chiriqui land as a refuge for freed slaves. The slaves would work in the abundant coal mines on his property, the coal would be sold to the Navy, and the profits would go to the freed slaves to further build up their new land.

Lincoln sought to test the idea on the small slave population in Delaware, but the idea met fierce opposition from abolitionists when it went public.

In April 1862, Lincoln was still of the mind that emancipation and deportation was the key to a peaceful United States. He supported a bill in Congress that provided money

“to be expended under the direction of the President of the United States, to aid in the colonization and settlement of such free persons of African descent now residing in said District, including those to be liberated by this act, as may desire to emigrate to the Republic of Haiti or Liberia, or such other country beyond the limits of the United States as the President may determine.”

This would become the final portion of the DC Emancipation Act.

In August of 1862, Lincoln invited five prominent black men to the White House, the first African delegation invited on such terms. The topic was simple, that Europeans and Africans cannot coexist and that separation is the most expedient means to peace. Lincoln encouraged these five men to rally support for an exodus.

This intent is even echoed in the Preliminary Emancipation Proclamation: “… that the effort to colonize persons of African descent, with their consent, upon this continent, or elsewhere… will be continued.”

Near this same time, the results of Lincoln’s investigation into the Chiriqui lands proved the coal there was worthless, and there was also the small matter that Costa Rica claimed ownership of part of Thompson’s land.

The next area considered was a small island off the coast of Haiti. About 450 Africans were sent to the island, but after only a year, nearly 25% had died due to poor nutrition and disease. The remainder were returned to the states.

By 1863, realizing Liberia, Haiti, and the Chiriqui lands were not reasonable for resettlement (Liberia was considered too great a distance to relocate a large number of freed slaves), Lincoln mentioned moving the “whole colored race of the slave states into Texas.”

Four days before his death, speaking to Gen. Benjamin Butler, Lincoln still pressed on with deportation as the only peaceable solution to America’s race problem. “I can hardly believe that the South and North can live in peace, unless we can get rid of the negroes … I believe that it would be better to export them all to some fertile country…”

Of course this would not happen. Throughout reconstruction, Jim Crow laws, and eventually the Civil Rights Act, the country struggled for the next century to settle the problem of race–one it still struggles with today–though today the US is made stronger, not weaker, by its diversity.

#haiti #abraham lincoln #african #afrakan #kemetic dreams #africans #afrakans #liberia #chiriqui #costa rica #civil rights act #civil rights

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sqewed0722 · 1 year

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Till The End of The Moon

Currently watching this CDrama starring Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu and I must say I have found my latest crack drama.

I don’t really know what makes this different from other CDrama/wuxias I’ve attempted to watch in the past. All I know is that I’ve been watching at least 3 episodes everyday since I started it.

Briefly, Luo Yunxi is the Devil God who intends to destroy all immortals in all the three realms (which I would presume refers to the immortals, the demons and the mortal humans) and four continents and become the most powerful being in the universe. The immortal sects try to stop him but are unable to. Their last hope is to send Li SuSu (played by Bai Lu), the daughter of one of the sect leaders, 500 years back in time to confront the Devil God when he was just a mortal prince named Tantai Jin, whose “demon bone” (at least that’s what they call it) has not yet awakened, and stop him from turning evil.

Yet it turns out to be more complex than that, as Li SuSu finds herself confronting the Devil God across time and space, in all their different incarnations. Only by going through their previous lives and encounters can she understand and find the way to defeat him.

The drama’s plot is as complex and convoluted as CDramas go, and there are so many minor characters that pop out seemingly without any purpose, only for you to find their characters reappear within another sub-arc, which eventually ties them to the main arc. It’s a bit of a challenge to keep up with all of them. And then there are those illogical or contradictory scenes and plot devices that make you scratch your head and ask yourself how that would work out. A good example would be those instances that Li SuSu, in her mortal guise as Ye Xiwu, is able to summon the power of the Chongyu Harp that she wielded as an immortal, when she clearly stated early on after she went back in time that she can’t use its power as a mortal woman. And then there are many times that, as Ye Xiwu, she travels on foot alone for long distances and she doesn’t seem to get tired at all, even though she has no provisions. There was that scene too when she was trying to treat the poison that Tantai Jin had been shot with in his eye. They were running from his brother’s soldiers and hiding in the forest, with only the clothes they’re wearing. Tantai Jin passes out and Ye Xiwu decides to treat him with some herbs. When he regains consciousness, he sees Ye Xiwu pounding on herb leaves using a mortar and pestle which, for the life of me, I don’t know how she managed to obtain in the middle of a forest. And don’t get me started on how she forced a female demon named Pianran to lead her to the Barren Abyss and how she managed to travel great distances with a demon to get there, and then going down into it as a mortal without getting killed.

Dramas like these require a lot of patience and suspended disbelief. One has to go into it expecting to just sit back and enjoy, and not to apply critical thinking. It’s not a mathematical problem to be solved anyway.

In any case, I’m enjoying it so far and look forward to each episode. I’ve become very curious as to why Tantai Jin had the demon bone when he was born and the ultimate reason why he and Li SuSu seem destined to meet in all their different lifetimes. I also love the lavish costumes and the intricate details that go into each attire.

Bai Lu is so beautiful dressed in her flowing diaphanous silks, with all those hair ornaments on top of her head, and her dark hair made to look really long and falling down past her waist. (To be honest, I didn’t quite find her pretty when I first saw her in ep 1. I even thought she looked a bit mature, but as the drama progressed she became very beautiful in my eyes.) She has an impish and childlike quality about her, yet you can sense her earnestness and grim determination as Li SuSu.

Luo Yunxi seems a tad thin, which makes his face look long and his cheeks hollow. But this was probably required of the role, since the Devil God is supposed to have a cold, cunning and ruthless look to him. And as the mortal prince Tantai Jin, he was supposed to look undernourished and unhealthy and suspicious, as he was a hostage of the Crown and treated little better than a slave. But his eyes are compelling when they look at you and as you look at him longer, you start to see a haunting sort of beauty in his features.

I’m already on Episode 12 and I think this drama has 40 episodes. It’s getting more interesting as the story progresses so I’ll just enjoy it. Doesn’t hurt that Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu have great chemistry together. 🙂

#cdrama #till the end of the moon #luo yunxi #bai lu #tantai jin #ye xiwu

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eyesanddragons · 1 year

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Got a reblog recently for one of my Clearsight posts about how she isn't a colonizer she just had a lot of children and how that isn't technically colonization- I'm not reblogging it mostly cause it's not exactly safe for work. Clearsight's an adult but I don't want to talk about Clearsight's sex life in relation to the book series for 8-12 year olds.

But I Do want to talk about why Clearsights' actions resemble real-life colonialism, even though there was no actually intent in her actions.

Cause one of the things that frustrated me with her part in Arc 3 because it is done without any self-awareness, this is not done to make Clearsight a colonizer. Clearsight is never portrayed in the wrong here, we are supposed to believe that Clearsight did Good Things that helped Pantala thrive. The thing is...this story exists in the Real World where Real World Colonalism exists. And in an Arc about Imperialism and Colonialism this is actually a lens we are invited to look through in Arc 3, and the thing is Clearsight's actions resemble real life colonialism.

As someone who learned very early about colonialism and the horrible stuff that happened due to being born in a country post-colonialism. Clearsight's actions Do Reflect colonialism. Clearsight teaches them the "old language" and we are intended to understand that this is a good thing because in the future the two continents will be able to understand each other. Clearsight also writes a giant book of prophecy that is supposed to be seen in a good light even though this creates a giant religion around her. Clearsight also canonically caused a species split due to her children.

Now, we can Say Clearsight didn't know that her giant book of prophecy would be created a religion around, we can say that the old language thing was just so they can communicate with the future. We can just not think about the canonical species split and the implications that has.

But this doesn't live in a vacuum where colonialism didn't exist. Colonizers did use religion to control their colonies, colonizers Did erase important cultural heritage from their colonies, and, I know I just said I didn't want to talk about sex in relation to a kids book series but colonizers did in fact sleep with the people they colonized (sometimes in Ways that I'd Rather Not Talk About Because I Don't Think I'm Equipped to handle topics like Comfort Women in a post about a Dragon Book Series)

This isn't even a problem in just WoF, I've seen this done in other stuff, a game I otherwise really liked had this exact problem as well. However Clearsight does reflect the behaviors of real world colonizers. It's not intentional but it is there and that's unfortunate.

#wof #wings of fire #wof clearsight #clearsight #wof meta #Arc 3 sucks as a colonization narrative man...

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andersqueuetea · 9 months

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Every year I typically do a review of all the video games I play throughout the year and I post it on Twitter. As I'm not particularly active on Twitter, I figured I'd start this little blog to post things like this so that I can share them with anyone who might find it interesting! 2023 was a big year for me-- I'll make a post about how my 2023 has been overall and everything that's happened and everything that I feel I've accomplished later on, but, in general, I beat my thread of video games from last year by more than double.

In 2022 I listed a total of 20 games, though it didn't seem to include everything I tried. This year I was able to play 50 different video games that I would love to talk about this year. I'm also splitting them into four different categories: Unfinished, Group Games, Replays, and New Titles. Let's get into it.

Unfinished Games

This includes three games that I either gave up on or haven't completely finished yet.

#50 Digimon World 2

I first played Digimon World 2 as a child alongside my older brother, Jake, on the Playstation. We were both Digimon fans, having rented the original Digimon World video game from our local blockbuster but never getting particularly far. Unlike the original Digimon World game, this title is a dungeon crawler similar to the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series that follows Akira, a boy who lives in Digital City on Directory Content, and is tasked with joining one of three guard teams (Vaccine, Data, and Virus types) and gaining a partner Digimon.

The player and their partner then take their tank, a Digi-Beetle and travel the dungeons beating and recruiting other Digimon to their party while beating bosses and liberating parts of Directory Continent.

I played this game on my Steam Deck and joined the Gold Hawks team with the Vaccine Digimon so that my partner Digimon was Patamon, a favorite of my childhood. I was increasingly frustrated by the lack of explanation of the various mechanics in game and how difficult it was to find any early game recruitable vaccine Digimon, making it so that I was stuck with a party of one from the get-go. Eventually I put the game away and, while I'm sure I may pick it up again in the future, the experience was clunky and slow, even down to the slow dialogue and walking animations.

#49 Banjo-Kazooie

Flame me. Bully me. I get it. First off, let me tell you: this game is great. The concept, the silly plot, the goofy characters-- I understand why this is such a popular game and why people have so much nostalgia about these characters and their world! The music is amazing, the worlds are unique, and the dialogue is catchy. The problem with this and, genuinely, why I didn't complete it, is that the collectathon aspect was more of a hassle than anything else due to the clunky 1996 controls and lack of quality of life upgrades that they could have brought to the Nintendo Switch Online version.

I enjoyed portions and the genuine inspiration that this took from other early 3D platformers, but the controls, the hitboxes, the punishing failures... it made it unenjoyable for me to attempt complete once I realized that I would need to go back and collect and additional number of hidden collectables to be able to open the next door.

#48 Pokemon Emerald (Randomizer)

As we'll note as we get further down the list, I've been replaying some of the Pokemon games that I've enjoyed in the past. However, as I decided to start Pokemon Emerald through my Steam Deck, I opted to play a randomized version of the game to spice things up a little. Unlike the first two games on our list, this is unfinished because I hadn't quite made enough progress to complete it-- I'm still working through the game.

The third installment of the core generation 3 Pokemon games, Emerald takes place on the continent of Hoenn after moving with the protagonist's family to Littleroot Town from Johto. My protagonist, a boy named Dersy, gains his first partner Pokemon, a Totodile, from Professor Birch, and sets on his trainer journey, meeting Birch's assistant, May and immediately battling her Beldum in an infuriating fight when you only have a Totodile who knows two moves.

As of now, I've found a fun and interesting party as I move past Slateport for the first time: Pharaoh the Ampharos, Zelda the Typhlosion (shoutouts to Muttski), Kaya the Kyogre, Fleshlight the Weepinbell (sorry), A-aron the Lairon, and Menace the Salamence.

Emerald is a slow play. It's taken me a while to get anywhere, primarily because I only play on my Steam Deck in bed when I have a little down time.

Group Games

I've played quite a few games with friends this year that didn't have specific 'endings' so I couldn't quite say that I beat them. Still, I wanted to talk about them here! There are 12 games on this portion of the list, starting with...

#47 Project Playtime

A spin-off of the horror game Poppy Playtime, this prequel was developed and published by Mob Entertainment as a co-op free-to-play horror set in a toy factory.

I didn't get much playtime on this as the game was still in early access and didn't always run as intended, but it allows six playes to try and solve puzzles and collect toy pieces to fix their train and escape while being hunted by a player controlling a monster.

The game has potential and, if asked to play it again, I definitely would! Unfortunately, last time friends wanted to play the launcher was busted.

#46 Borderlands 2

Another fan favorite that I've only played one time, Borderlands 2 is something that I've been discussing playing with my friend Emma for years and years.

Finally, in 2023, we got a group together to play a little bit. I believe I played as a Gunzerker and, while I'm not a great FPS gamer by any means, I did have some fun with this game being dragged along to various missions by friends who knew much more about what they were doing.

Unfortunately, my experience was ruined by an outside issue and I don't, at this time, think I'm ready to play Borderlands 2 anytime soon.

#45 Phasmophobia

I'll be the first to admit that I have very bad FOMO. I don't like missing out when friends play games and, therefore, I, a scaredy-cat, purchased and played Phasmophobia.

I am, additionally, very bad at Phasmophobia and am often dead the entire time.

Still, dead Ders loves to take random items from the map and drop them in the truck for everyone who's still alive!

When Phasmo went through it's big truck update I found myself extremely frustrated-- I didn't understand how to buy and load items into the truck and every time we tried to play it was one issue after another.

In the end I uninstalled the game and, while I'll probably reinstall if people want to play, the update really ruined a lot of the enjoyment for me.

#44 The Anacrusis

Space Left for Dead with aliens instead of zombies! I jumped right on this funky little game as a Lance main, as you know I love a nondescript basic-ass white guy.

Again, FPS games aren't my thing, but this was really fun co-op horde combat! Though only one friend of mine actually owns the game, leaving us with a tougher time getting games together, the game is still very fun and exciting!

This year they added the versus mode, allowing teams to play alternatively as survivors and alien hoards and... as someone unfamiliar with this playstyle... I hated this. It was really difficult as the alien to do anything and, since my friend has so much more experience in this format, I felt like I was completely helpless to do anything.

I hope that more friends will get this game so that we can play together, especially now that it's out of early access.

#43 Among Us

Innersloth's Among Us became a household name during the pandemic and dominated my life every evening for at least eight to ten months, spawning the discord server in which I spend most of my time.

I only played Among Us once or twice this year, most importantly on my friend Emma's birthday where we played a few rounds to celebrate and hang out.

The game is good and fun. I have no interest in playing with randoms-- just not my thing, and while I love playing with friends... after a while I find myself becoming so comfortable with everyone's play-styles that the game just becomes repetitive. A great game for every once in a while.

#42 Party Animals

All the ragdoll physics applied to cute little animal critters? A great soundtrack? This game is totally fun, however, I didn't play it too much. Much like Among Us, this is the kind of game that I'd rather just play with friends in customs-- a group of us in a voice call beating the crap out of each other and laughing while doing so.

The games are fun-- reminiscent of Fall Guys and American Ninja Warrior in a way and the customization that you can find through every character is wonderful. Hopefully this game stays in the repertoire going forward.

#41 Dead by Daylight

To say that this was a bad year for Dead by Daylight was an understatement.

I first played DBD in 2021 after the Among Us craze died down and I found myself experiencing FOMO as my friends played DBD in our discord and I discovered a hot blond basic white-man, Felix Richter, was a playable character.

Eventually I purchased the game and have clocked over 2,000 hours in it.

At the end of 2022 they released a killer by the name of The Knight who was the first draft of an extremely boring playstyle that the devs doubled down on in May of 2023 with their first killer release of the year.

Adriana Imai, The Skull Merchant, is one of the biggest mistakes that BHVR has made-- the 'chess merchant' style of gameplay, which can extend the length of games so much that the killer can hold them hostage for 45+ minutes at a time was so boring and disrespectful that BHVR attempted to rework the killer to combat this... only to make it comparably worse. Between the Knight's release, the Skull Merchant, and the various perk reworks and glitches that BHVR gaslit the community into pretending didn't exist, I stopped playing DBD for a while.

Every once in a while I would log in to play, to experience the new killer and survivor, The Singularity and Gabriel Soma, or to see if the addition of Nicolas Cage could really save the game for me but... unfortunately... no. Ellen Ripley and The Xenomorph were the next releases and the first releases since I bought the game that I didn't purchase, followed by Chucky from the Child's Play series who, I will admit, is a very fun and well balanced addition to the game.

I log in to play every once in a while, when friends want to play and I'm feeling particularly good, but other than that... DBD's lack of integrity regarding their own issues has made the game a big disappointment for me.

#40 Fallout 76

A new game to me, this was gifted to me by my friend PJ. I've played a Fallout game once before for roughly two hours and, honestly, Fallout 76 has been a fun, silly, buggy experience.

First problem: I messed up my character's nose and now he looks silly. Yes, I know I can fix it. No, I do not plan on fixing it.

Exploring in this game is fun! There are so many little funny moments that the devs put in, a solid community that has seemed really nice, and a heavy difficulty that makes me feel like I'm actively accomplishing things when I survive.

I particularly like it when I see another player and I use the wave emoji at them and they wave back!

I'm not a big bug person, so those kinda freak me out, but in general the world that they've created is horrifyingly beautiful.

#39 Fortnite

Never thought I would play Fortnite, however, when DBD took a turn for a worst a group of us defected to zero-build Fortnite and... it's fun! Not something I love to play all the time, but the goofy aesthetics, the variety of characters and emotes, it's easy to see why people get excited about something so silly!

To be able to make the Demogorgon from Stranger Things ride around in a little dinosaur is fun as heck. The changes in the game, updates, game modes, and maps are all interesting and provide a varied experience.

It's not a forever game for me, but that's fine. I still enjoy it, especially when playing with my friend Yellow!

#38 Lethal Company

This game is fun, scary, and stressful! I love pressing 1 and 2 to point and dance-- honestly, makes the game so much fun. Yes, I know that's silly. :)

Since they added arachnophobia mode I feel a lot better playing this! I'm still inexperienced, but I love playing this with friends. The monsters are so varied and intense, the different planets and weathers make it so new and exciting, and the procedural generation of each type of map is a welcome surprise. The different types of scraps are a joy-- the horror of finding a little toy robot.... the fear of hearing a little girl say "hey!"

Overall, this game is a great asset. A great, great asset.

#37 Deceive Inc.

I spent a lot of time this year playing Deceive Inc. after discovering the game while watching Otzdarva stream it one day.

You take the role of a spy trying to steal a package from a villainous lair by unlocking three vault terminals and extracting while surviving against a plethora of other agents who all have abilities much like yours.

The characters are fun, the NPCs are great, the gameplay is stacked. The community has been SO kind and the devs are some of the best devs ever! I took some time off due to my anxiety with FPS games and my stress overload, but this game will always have an amazing place in my heart and I still watch it almost every day!

I'm actively watching it now.

The little nods to spy culture... the additions of skins like Yu-Mi's Sailor Moon inspired skin, the integrity of the maps, the little "dossiers" about each of the characters and NPCs... this game and their amazing dev team deserve so much more respect and love. I wish more of my friends enjoyed playing this game with me.

#36 Labyrinthine

Capping off our group games for the year is Labyrinthine.

I love this game so much and am always up to play it.

The case files mode with the cosmetic hunting on top of the content they release frequently, the events, the monsters, the maps... it's so fun. The jump scares are great and the little puzzles can be super fun to figure out.

I still haven't finished the story chapters, but I really would like to! The toughest part of this game has just been convincing my friends to play with me, as it's not a solo game.

Replays

I replayed eight games that I've played previously this year-- some for the first time, others frequently.

#35 Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age

I'm a big Final Fantasy fan! I last played the original Final Fantasy XII in 2012 while I was dating a wonderful man who encouraged me to finish it!

Let me be clear-- I still enjoyed this game... I liked a lot of the concepts that they put in and I loved visiting Ivalice. As you'll notice, I replayed a LOT of Ivalice games this year.

The characters are boring. The plot was completely inconsequential to everything. The battle system was so silly that, during the final boss battle, I didn't actually have to press a single button.

Why is it that they set this game in FFTA style Ivalice yet every character in your party is a hume save for Fran? Where's the variety? Even the job classes added in the TZA version just felt... like an afterthought.

There was a lot of exploration that could be done, the license board was... interesting... and the monster variety was mostly great! Overally, the game was.... fine... I'd be fine waiting another 11 years to replay it again.

#34 Pokemon: Special Pikachu Edition

The original third core game, Pokemon Yellow was loosely based on the popularity of the Pokemon Anime, updating the sprites, adding Jessie and James from Team Rocket, and giving you a partner Pikachi who followed you around the entire game and refused to evolve.

I love Pokemon, so why is this so low? Specifically, because it's generation one. The QOL things that I've come to love and expect from Pokemon weren't present here and it showed. The game, in general is a fun and nostalgic experience where I get the chance to relive my childhood and bide my time for other new releases.

My team, as the champion, included my Pikachu, who I nicknamed Mimikyu, a Victreebel, an Aerodactyl, a Nidoking, a Mr. Mime, and a Gyarados.

#33 Final Fantasy VIII Remastered

Join Cloud Strife, but lamer, as he-- wait.... shit... I mean Squall Leonhart, right? Join Squall Leonhart... a teenage student at assassin school who graduates and leads a team of mercenaries, including his former teacher who got fired and is in love with him, a guy who loves hot dogs, a cowboy with no relevance to the plot, and a quirky girl as they meet Rinoa Heartilly, a resistance leader who is essentially rebelling against her father while she harasses and embarrasses Squall.

Other plot points include all the characters other than Rinoa remembering that they actually grew up in an orphanage together and just forgot it because they continued to use the Guardian Forces which make them lose their memories... only to continue using Guardian Forces for the rest of the game. Can't forget the mess of sorceresses, Squall falling in love with Rinoa somehow??? Uhm.... some space? They go to space.

It's not a secret that I think this game is overrated. It adds some cool things-- Moombas, gunblades, and Edea, to name a few. The junction system is overcomplicated and broken and plot is swiss cheese.

Will I play it again? Absolutely.

#32 Pokemon Gold Version

Technically, you can argue that I didn't finish this. I completed the eight gym badges and the elite four and... I did go ahead and do the eight Kanto badges but... I didn't fight Red. The credits rolled, so I count it complete.

The Johto region is one of my favorite regions-- I've been dreaming of a Legends Ho-oh game featuring the Burnt Tower and the Legendary Beasts from before they all burned, but we'll see what we get!

My team for this run included Ho-oh, Gloom, Feraligatr, Ampharos, Sudowoodo, and Dragonite. The difficulty spikes in this game can be a little frustrating and it still has some rough QOL moments, but man... I still love this game so much!

#31 Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

As a big Final Fantasy Tactics fan, I remember my excitement as I played through this GBA game during my childhood and was all too excited to pick it up again this year!

We meet Marche, a new boy in the town of St. Ivalice, who befriends the pink haired Ritz and quiet boy Mewt during a snowball fight and invites them over to look at an old book with Marche's sick younger brother, Doned.

The next morning, Marche wakes up in the mystical country of Ivalice and is greeted by Montblanc, a moogle who takes him under his wing and allows Marche to help lead his clan. Mewt is no longer teased and is, instead, the prince of Ivalice alongside his mother, Remedi, who is dead in the real world, while his father, Cid, is the head judgemaster. Doned is no longer sick and Ritz has found a clan of her own.

Marche takes it upon himself and his clan to destroy the crystals keeping Ivalice together and return them to their true homes in St. Ivalice, much to the chagrin of Mewt, Doned, and Ritz.

The game features turn based tactical combat and a job system as well as Nu Mou, Moogle, Hume, Bangaa, and Viera.

My biggest issue with this game is the grind and the fact that, unlike FFT, there aren't any named characters who join your party, something I'll discuss more fully in a few more games.

#30 Pokemon: Let's Go, Eevee!

A remake of Pokemon Special Pikachu Edition including integration with Pokemon Go, mega evolutions, Alolan forms, and the dark, steel and fairy types, this game is technically set in an alternate world after Pokemon Red and Blue, since the characters Red, Blue, and Green all exist and are successful in their own ways.

The protagonist, Chase or Elaine canonically, is given an Eevee who does not enjoy its Pokeball and serves as your companion throughout the game, even going as far as to learn non-move HMs. The partner Eevee can also learn a ton of new attacks and has a different BST than other Eevees.

Instead of battling wild pokemon, you catch them in a form more similar to Pokemon Go, simply tossing Pokeballs and going for streaks to level up your Pokemon. It's a silly and fun remaster that proves a solid entry point for new and younger gamers who are hoping to get involved in Pokemon and for older games who may want to introduce new friends into this series.

I specifically didn't want to use my Eevee, so my final team included Dewgong, Exeggutor, Zapdos, Ninetales, Rhydon, and Haunter.

#29 Final Fantasy Tactics

Honesty time: I was obsessed with this game in sixth grade and I played it constantly.

The complicated plot only grew better as I grew older and became an astrology boi.

We meet Ramza Beoluve, son of a noble, his commoner best friend, Delita, and more as we travel through a complex socio-political vortex caused by the 50 Year War against Ordalia. Delita learns a harsh lesson as his sister, a commoner, is murdered during an uprising as a political statement, a church takes a terrible plot to try to control the country, and a group hopes to resurrect their demonic leader all while we meet a cast of unique and powerful characters on top of our own base characters who circle through a job system.

What makes this better than FFTA to me is the characters-- not only do we have Ramza, but we get Mustadio, Agrias, Rafa, Malak, Orlando, Meliadoul, Beowulf, Reis, Construct 8, Byblos, and even Cloud Strife, all with unique powers and abilities alongside our minor characters. Personally, I had a self insert who I trained in every mage class until I stopped using him in favor of others!

#28 Final Fantasy IX: Remastered

My favorite Final Fantasy, my first Final Fantasy, and my favorite replay of the year.

I replay FF9 every few years and I always love it. Vivi is my favorite character in the series and I'm also a humongous fan of Garnet's story. Zidane is a good character, though he obviously has some flaws that are pretty cringe. I can easily accept that characters like Amarant, Freya, and Quina definitely were forgotten and fall into obscurity as the game progresses, the game's overarching message of identity and family has always drawn me in.

We first meet Zidane, an orphan taken in by the traveling group of thieves and thespians, the Tantalus, as he and his crew partake in a plot to kidnap Princess Garnet during a production of I Want to be Your Canary, performed by them. Meanwhile, a young black mage named Vivi at also planning to attend the premiere after the death of his adoptive father.

Throughout the story we meet amazing characters, whimsical locales, and are asked difficult questions about what it means to be alive, what it means to be family, how to cope with grief and loss, and are given the best mini-game in all of Final Fantasy: Chocobo Hot'n'Cold (shout outs to Emma).

I want this game to get a proper remake. Even writing about the game takes me back to a place where I would watch awful AMVs on YouTube and read articles explaining the confusing and disjointed ending (which, yes, I agree is messy).

I also thank this game for bringing me to Twitch, which has been where I've met to many friends, primarily due to me wanting to watch a Final Fantasy IX speedrun.

New Titles

These may not be new games to you, but they might be! This is the countdown of the 27 new games that I played this year-- the list you've likely been waiting for if you care at all or the list that you skipped to!

#27 Final Fantasy II: Pixel Remaster

Last year this game was the last on my list. I didn't finish it and I didn't like it and I was constantly frustrated trying to play it.

I tried it again this year and... yeah... this is a flop for me. Bad character design, bad level up mechanic, confusing key words system... I followed a guide. Why? Because I specifically wanted to finish all the mainline Final Fantasy games.

Leon's villain arch and role reversal... not great. I just... maybe this one wasn't for me.

#26 Final Fantasy III: Pixel Remaster

Y'know what? Maybe this one wasn't for me either.

We are onion knights with no actual personality or anything, but that's not that much of a change from the personalities we found in FF2.

The job system was fun and interesting and some of the characters, including the fake Warriors of Light, were very cute... but overall, the game just didn't have that much to offer in terms of a compelling story and interesting mechanics.

#25 Cave Crawler

Cave Crawler is a short narrative mystery horror game in which you pilot a drone into a cave and try to uncover the mystery of some terrible incidents.

This game was gifted to me by my friend Blitzer and didn't take me too long to beat. It was creepy, interesting, and definitely made me sit on the edge of my seat.

#24 Final Fantasy V: Pixel Remaster

There's a plot point in which the antagonist fakes his death and travels through dimensions while disguised as a splinter and there's a turtle who loves pizza. The game is silly and slightly frustrating in that sense, but the characters are mostly good (Faris is wonderful) and the job system is really fun!

As is my issue with many other older FF games, there's a lack of direction and a semblance of penalty for over exploring and getting lost. It's a cute time, but like many of its predecessors, I don't see myself revisiting them anything soon.

The great news? With this, I finished all the mainline FF games that aren't 11 and 14! Well... kind of... stay tuned.

#23 Star Ocean: The Second Story R

I loved Star Ocean: Til' the End of Time. I read a preview article about it in Game Informer as a kid and fell in love with the blue haired protagonist and waited for years for the game to come out.

When this game was remade and released, I decided to give it a try! I was... mildly happy with it. I ran a Claude campaign and found that I was pretty frustrated at first that the mage characters, who were the only other characters in my party, wouldn't auto attack after they ran out of MP. Eventually, the game picked up. I missed out on SO many party characters because I wasn't feeling encouraged to recruit or anything... it seemed like it would all come organically in the course of the game when I saw them in cut scenes but... no.

I know that there's a NG+ and... maybe I'll do that? Probably not. :(

#21 Gotham Knights

My older brother bought the preorder deluxe edition and I ended up getting this for ~80% of a few weeks later after it bombed.

Jake loved the Arkham games and was right to be disappointed by this mess.

I am a huge Nightwing fan, so I played Nightwing and... on top of the glitches and the crashes, the game was just... overly repetitive. The different suits and equipment were overly complex for what they were, the night watches were repetitive and boring, and when I finally felt like moving on through the main story...? Well... the main story was fine. But it was short! They expected players to spend tens of hours exploring the city and taking down hoards of bad guys who... never did anything different. So disappointing... I hope they learned their lesson when it comes to Suicide Squad Kills the Justice League but...

#20 Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons

A beautiful and short narrative puzzle game in which you control both brothers in a journey to find medicine. The gameplay was fun and rewarding and the scenery was wonderful but... man... that last third? I get what they were going for but... it was just disappointing.

Apparently there's a cap on the number of pictures I can post here, so please chill a bit while I write up numbers 19-1!

#andersQT #video games

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ollieofthebeholder · 5 months

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to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 114: May 2018

Martin knew it was going to be a rough day when he woke up to find Tim playing with a prism.

Not that it had been a particularly good week to begin with, or even a particularly good month. The dispassionate aloofness that protected Martin in his dreams had started seriously eroding, and while that was probably a good thing—he’d been really worried about what it meant that he could just watch people, especially people he cared about like Gerry and Naomi, go through the worst days of their lives like it was a television program—it did mean his sleep was a good deal more restless, and he always worried he was going to wake Jon, or hurt him by accident. The progression through the dreams was getting far less orderly, too, and he struggled to figure out what the pattern was, if there was a pattern. If it wasn’t just meant to disorientate him, keep him off balance, and make him just as afraid as the people begging him to help not knowing he was just as helpless as they were.

Besides his petty little personal problems…things were getting bad for everyone else, too. Maybe worse. Melanie and Sasha had turned up Monday morning with the cats and a lingering smell of smoke; they were all fine, and the house had mostly survived, but the interior was a mess and they were going to have to stay in the Archives until her landlord was finished the renovations. Melanie was already betting against him changing the leasehold to say that she couldn’t have pets anymore. Tim had left after work that day and come back with Gerry and Umberto; Martin had assumed he just felt guilty being the only one who got to leave until Gerry and Daisy came up from the tunnels, where they’d been looking for vermin of some kind to satisfy both their hungers, looking shaken and pissed respectively. Gerry had had one of his attacks when Daisy nearly pounced on a particularly juicy-looking spider (her words) and he’d seen the black marks of potential death bloom on her face and chest, and they still weren’t sure what that was all about. That night he’d had a nasty Web-related flashback that they’d spent all of Wednesday searching to see if there was a statement in the Archives that matched.

And every time any of them so much as set a toe outside the Archives, it seemed, there were cobwebs everywhere.

Martin hadn’t heard Gerry’s flashback the night before, since he and Jon had taken to sleeping in the Archivist’s office—Jon refused to let him sleep alone, no matter how bad the nightmares got—but seeing Tim sitting at his desk, shining a tiny pocket torch through a triangular crystal that he was twisting this way and that and watching the colors play across the desk, gave Martin a pretty good idea of what it might have been about. He hadn’t asked, though, not yet anyway. He’d just gone into the break room to make them both some tea.

As he went through the familiar motions, made slightly off by the necessity of avoiding the small brown spider that had apparently taken it into its head to redecorate the shelves for Halloween five months early, he tried to remember the conversation they’d had half a lifetime ago, literally. He’d been on the cusp of fifteen, the lines on his wrists only just beginning to fade into relative invisibility and the rebellion and desire to push back against his mother and Aunt Mary’s treatment and plans for him only just beginning to form, fresh off his first broken heart and ripe for what would turn out to be the best year in chorus he’d ever had. Melanie had just found her niche and started planting the seeds that would eventually lead to Ghost Hunt UK, which she’d once confided she hoped would satisfy the itch of curiosity that fueled the Eye without actually binding her closer to it. And Gerry had been on the verge of adulthood, primed to up stakes and flee to the continent the instant Melanie and Martin were well and truly out of it. They’d all been so…hopeful. It hadn’t been a serious conversation because it wasn’t going to matter much longer, even if they hadn’t started consciously thinking that way yet.

Except, obviously, none of them had made it out. Here he was on the cusp of thirty, and they’d all ended up falling deeper into it—only Melanie was at a point where she even could possibly still walk away, and she was so damn stubborn that she wouldn’t—and Martin vaguely remembered making a comment about how once people who didn’t work for the Institute started calling you Archivist, you were probably in it too deep to be saved. It was darkly funny now, because Martin, who’d never considered himself important for anything to bother with, had somehow become at least the second most powerful servant of the Ceaseless Watcher in existence. And he wasn’t entirely certain he wasn’t more powerful than Elias, although he wasn’t particularly keen to try it.

“Won’t have to, either, as long as the bastard stays put,” he muttered at the spider that was peeking out from between the sugar canister and the powdered milk Hannah and Gail were always arguing over. He didn’t know if it was the same one as before or a new one. “And don’t go getting any ideas. Get out of here while it’s still your choice.”

The spider didn’t move. Martin weighed up the merits of pulling out a bit of the Archivist power versus the possibility that this was just an ordinary spider, then reached for a paper towel to either humanely remove it from the break room or squish it without getting guts all over his fingers. When he looked back up, though, it was gone.

The kettle clicked off with a sound similar enough to the tape recorders that Martin found himself instinctively looking around for where it might be. Then he shook himself back to sense, checked the mugs to ensure they were unoccupied, and busied himself with the tea.

Tim was still playing with the prism, in combination with a crystal ashtray he’d found somewhere. He started in surprise when Martin slid the tea under his nose and looked up. “Martin? What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same. It’s two in the morning.” Martin sat down in the chair that had once been his and was now Jon’s. “Nightmares ran their course, and there’s not usually any point in sleeping further once they’re done, I guess. Came out and saw you messing with this.” He nodded at the prism. “Let me guess, Gerry had a flashback to the time we tried to improve on Smirke’s system?”

“Got it in one.” Tim clicked off the torch and set it aside. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said—well, what Gerry said you said—about shining light through a prism. I know there’s not a way to put them back together, but…I mean, if you move the torch, all the colors move. There’s no way to move just one. And, I mean, there are only so many colors you can break light into.” He ran his finger over the point of the prism. “You can’t make new colors.”

“You can if you shine light through another prism and combine them. Or look harder at the overlap between the colors.” Martin took a sip of his tea. “I know what you’re thinking, Tim, but…well, the Flesh and the Hunt were just emerging, or at least just emerging in humans, when Smirke started making his classifications. They can splinter off from existing Fears. There’s…Dekker probably isn’t wrong about the Extinction.”

“Do you think Basira is?”

Martin hesitated. “I think Basira has her reasons for trusting Peter Lukas. I just don’t know what they are.”

Tim glanced over his shoulder towards where the trapdoor was, and where he, Gerry, and Daisy tended to bunk down. “Did you tell her what we found out? About how to quit?”

“I told her,” Martin said quietly. “All she said was that if we were planning to go that route, to make sure we submitted a letter of resignation so she could process the severance package. I can’t tell if that was a joke or not. She’s hard to read sometimes.”

What had been obvious, though, was that she was definitely not going to be quitting. Assuming that was even how she had to quit, now that she wasn’t in the Archives, or if she even could; even if the Eye hadn’t been too big on seeing the future, it still wouldn’t give Martin that information. She was absolutely committed to her plan, whatever it was. He still wasn’t sure if she was actually on Peter Lukas’ side or if she was playing some kind of long con on him too, but whatever she was up to, she wouldn’t let anything deviate her from that path.

“Daisy was telling us the other day that she ran into her, too,” Tim said. “Didn’t ask her about quitting, so she said, but…she’s worried she might have lost her way. Basira’s not the kind to give away what she’s planning necessarily, but there were…little things they used to do to reassure one another or communicate when they worked on the force, and she didn’t get any of those. So either she was really paranoid about being overheard, or she’s doing exactly what she says she is—helping Peter Lukas.”

“We don’t…actually know that he’s wrong,” Martin said cautiously. “Or that he’s doing something evil.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“No, I don’t, but Basira might. Or she might believe she’s tempering whatever it is he’s doing. But if she won’t listen—or share—there’s only so much we can do.” Martin sighed. “And if she won’t tell Daisy, she definitely won’t tell the rest of us.”

“She might tell you. She likes you.”

“Liked, past tense. I’m pretty sure she still blames me for what happened to Daisy. And since she wouldn’t have gone over to work with him if Daisy had been here, I think she thinks that’s my fault too.”

Tim snorted and rubbed at his forehead. “You didn’t ask Daisy to sacrifice herself. From what she said, you tried to stop her. It’s why the two of you worked so well together on all that, because you both trusted the other to do what was necessary and keep the rest of them safe. The rest of us, really.”

“I know.” And Martin did know. He’d just expected to be the one doing the sacrificing. “Anyway, I didn’t say it was my fault, I just said Basira blames me. And there’s not really a way to convince her otherwise. She’s…”

“Stubborn? Hard-headed?”

“Tenacious.”

“Same thing.” Tim stifled a sneeze.

“Allergies?” Martin asked sympathetically.

Tim shrugged ruefully. “Stirred up a bit of dust digging out the prism, I guess. I knew I’d seen it around here somewhere, but it had been a while. And it was covered in cobwebs when I did.” He must have seen something in Martin’s expression, because he added, “I’m sure it was innocuous, Mart. I saw it ages ago, and I don’t think anyone has touched it since.”

“You’re probably right, but I’m still suspicious.” Martin nudged the prism lightly. “Although…why would the Web even care? How would it even know?”

“Spiders spinning daydreams in the copses.” The last word opened up into a yawn, which Tim tried to hide behind a hand.

It wasn’t even a good attempt, and Martin didn’t bother pretending he hadn’t seen it. “How much sleep did you actually get last night? Or at all this week?”

“I took a nap yesterday,” Tim said.

“At eleven in the morning. For thirty-seven minutes. And you weren’t so much asleep as sitting with your eyes closed petting the cat.” Martin raised an eyebrow at Tim’s sheepish look, while at the same time mentally tallying it up as a personal win as well as a point in favor of his argument that Tim didn’t call him out on Knowing that, since it was awfully specific and could only have come from the Beholding. “Go lie down, Tim. At least for an hour or two. You need the rest, and Umberto would probably like someone warm to cuddle with.”

“Last I saw he was curled up with Daisy. But okay.” Tim yawned and stood. “Thanks for the tea. Sorry I didn’t drink it.” With that, he lurched over to the trap door. Martin heard a faint mrrp as Umberto, or possibly one of Melanie’s cats, came over to seek the new cuddle buddy, and then all was silent again.

Alone in the dark, Martin stared at the prism. He understood the nature of light better than he had at fifteen, and he understood the Fears a bit better too, or at least he felt like he did. The Ceaseless Watcher was surprisingly reticent on the subject of itself and its fellows.

Or maybe not that surprising. Martin wouldn’t want to give the key to his potential undoing to anyone he didn’t trust not to use it either. Probably the only way to really Know the actual truth was to go through with the Watcher’s Crown, whatever that might have entailed. He was the Archivist, after all; if the ritual didn’t involve him being a…sacrificial lamb or whatever, he would probably be very important in whatever new world was created. There would be no hiding things from him, he thought. No secrets he would not know, no knowledge that could be withheld. All truths, any lies, secrets and strengths and weaknesses, all at his fingertips…

Wait. Those weren’t his thoughts.

Martin winced and drove the heel of his hand into his temple, gritting his teeth as he tried to force the Beholding back into submission. The trouble with getting more powerful, having more safeguards, is that the temptations got bigger and harder to resist, too. He wasn’t the megalomaniac type, he’d never wanted to rule the world or anything, but being in the dark—with a lowercase D, metaphorically speaking—got frustrating at times and it was difficult to resist the urge to just…have that information. The lure of a world where he could, and where he could control the ebb and flow of information, was pretty damn powerful. If Elias was the one trying to set it in motion—or had been, since he didn’t seem able to do much from in prison, even if he had managed to charm himself into a few privileges—then restricting Jon’s, and later Martin’s, access to information, constantly setting them up for situations where having that knowledge would have made all the difference in the world, was probably the most effective method in existence of getting them on his side. If Martin hadn’t had the Archives crew as anchors, it would have been far more difficult not to go to Elias and say look, fine, I know you want to bring the Ceaseless Watcher into this world, tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.

But he did have the others, and the image of what Jon’s face, or Melanie’s, would look like if he did was enough to make him mentally flip off the Eye and stride off to Peter Lukas’ office to go find himself something for a midnight snack.

Elias’s office, now Peter’s, actually had two parts, the large room in the back Elias had primarily used for storage and the small front room where he’d done his work. Peter used the back room as his primary office, on the rare occasions he was in, and the outer office had been given to Basira. Not that Martin saw either of them very often, but it was easy to see…well, it was easy to tell someone was using it, even if it was completely impersonal, even more than Elias’s office had been. The ledgers and fountain pens were gone, replaced with a squat ivory computer tower and a CRT monitor. The wire cup on the desk was the sort that came in standard office supply kits and contained generic, mass-market pens. The mouse pad was square and blank white with a brand name screen printed on the bottom right corner that was so worn and faded Martin couldn’t read it anymore. There wasn’t even a coat or shawl draped over the back of the chair, and even if it wasn’t that bad up here, Martin knew it was cold in the Lonely. Unless she’d got used to that by now.

There was, however, a spider on the handle to the door to Peter’s office. It moved up the door when Martin looked at it, but he didn’t trust that, and he decided, fuck it, he’d kill this one. He was getting damned tired of the Web and its ilk. Slowly, keeping his eyes on the spider to make sure it didn’t get away before he could, he reached behind him, found the drawer of the desk, slid it open, and reached inside. His fingers found something smooth and solid and heavy-feeling, and as he tried to grip it, something moved.

Click.

The slightly muffled voice that came out of the drawer was Gertrude’s. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course I do.” The voice that responded was wholly unfamiliar to Martin.

“Well, that’s a shame.” If Martin had been inclined to doubt Gerry’s memory and his mother’s statement, the tone of voice in which Gertrude delivered that would have left him in no doubt they were related.

Distracted from the spider, he turned, pulled the tape recorder out of the desk, and stopped playback, then rewound it and sat in Basira’s chair. It wasn’t something she was recording, and obviously if she meant for him to listen to it she’d have left it for him. Maybe she hadn’t listened to it herself yet. But, well, he was here, and she wouldn’t be in until the actual working hours started, and it was better to listen up here where he wouldn’t risk waking Jon anyway. He could rewind it when he was done and put it back and no one would be the wiser.

The recorder popped, indicating it had reached the start of the reel, and Martin pushed PLAY.

This time he listened much more carefully to the opening exchange. He heard himself in Gertrude’s words and tone—talking to Breekon, talking to Mustermann, hell, the way he’d spoken to his own mother on her deathbed—and wondered how much was being the Archivist and how much was being related and how much was just coincidence. The thoughts snapped out of his head, though, when she started talking about Agnes.

It wasn’t a proper statement. Not at first. That didn’t start for a bit, and he knew exactly when it did in the small part of him that held on when the Archivist swept over him, because the actual statement unfolded before him in grainy, sketchy black and white, like an animation pencil test being projected through an infrared camera thirty years out of date. But it was compelling in its own way, and in the way of most of Gertrude’s commentary, it answered a few questions and opened up so many more. The man who had once been the head of the Church of the Lightless Flame and later been Jane Prentiss’ landlord was jaded, bitter…and definitely scared. As defiant as he was at first, Martin could practically smell the fear the more Gertrude spoke, and something in him was almost disappointed that the man was dead and this wouldn’t be joining his dreams.

No. No, he definitely didn’t want to dream about this.

The tape clicked off, and Martin drew in a lungful of air, sitting back in Basira’s chair. His hand tightened around the recorder, and he felt the buzzing, at which point it occurred to him that he’d left the tape playing on the desk in front of him. He looked at his hand and, sure enough, there was a more retro recorder than the model that had been in Basira’s desk, recording away. When had he pulled that out?

“Gertrude didn’t mention what she did to Eugene Vanderstock,” he said slowly. “Neither did Arthur Nolan. And I sure as hell haven’t done any digging into it, since this literally just came to my attention. But the Knowledge…is there, whether I want it or not. I don’t want it. I wish I didn’t know what it felt like to be alive as your whole being is infused with grit, how painful that is, but I do. Good to know that works against the Fourteen, anyway. Or some of its agents. I’m not sure how high up in the Lightless Flame Eugene was, or how powerful. Not as powerful as Gertrude, that’s for damned sure, but…”

He stared vacantly at Basira’s recorder, then leaned forward to rewind it for her before sitting back with a sigh. “Hill Top Road,” he mused. “Everything keeps coming back to that. We’ve had so many little threads go towards it that never end up anywhere, so many stories that weave around it. And now this. I-I know it’s a story we knew, sort of, but at the same time…we didn’t know Agnes’ side of it. We still don’t, I guess. I wonder what she thought, growing up there. I wonder if she thought of it as home, or just a place to live. I wonder what made her decide to protect Ronald Sinclair, if it was the whim of a child who wanted to see what would happen or an attempt to prove she was capable of more than causing pain and destruction or just a desire to stop the Web from winning.” He sighed again. “I wonder if it was actually the Lightless Flame’s doing that kept Gertrude alive that long or if it was the bond with Agnes itself. I won’t let myself wonder if my bond with Jon and Gerry is strong enough to keep me safe like that.”

He shook his head and said again, “Hill Top Road. I can’t help but wonder how much centers around that. It’s not just the statements. The matron of the Sunnydene Children’s Home mentioned Mr. Fielding’s halfway house, Gerry and Melanie and I went to that Halloween party there…there have been so many things centered around it. The Web, the Desolation, the Spiral, the Lone—” He stopped and sat up straighter as the knowledge slammed into his head, for the first time in twenty years.

“No,” he breathed. “Not the Lonely. It wasn’t the Lonely that was after me then. It was the Dark. I just assumed it was the Lonely, but…fuck. No wonder those things at the swap meet were so interested in me.”

He sat in stunned silence for a few moments as the implications of that washed over him. He’d been wrong about that all these years. What else was he wrong about at Hill Top Road?

There was an analog clock on the wall, plain and austere. Martin glanced at it and calculated, then stood decisively. “Right. I think this is a thread I need to pull. I can make the next train to Oxford and probably be back before everyone wakes up properly. It’s time to finish this once and for all. I’m heading to Hill Top Road.”

Click. The recorder shut itself off, which Martin took as approval of his plan.

He wasn’t thoroughly stupid. He went back through the Archives and left a note, just in case someone—likely Gerry—woke up before he got back. For just a moment, he hesitated and stepped into his office. Jon was still curled up in their nest of blankets, breathing lightly, looking peaceful and somehow younger than his age in his sleep. The temptation to crawl back under the covers, curl around him, and sleep a little longer was definitely present. Only the certainty that if he didn’t go now Jon would insist on going with him kept him from doing that.

Instead, he knelt down, pressed a gentle, tender kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, and quietly let himself out of the Archives.

It was early enough that the sun hadn’t come up yet, and the trip to Paddington station was thoroughly uneventful. There was a bit of chaos stemming from the newly set train schedules, but more people lived in Oxford and commuted to work in London than the other way around, so despite everything Martin ended up having the carriage largely to himself, which gave him plenty of space and time to think over his plan.

He didn’t have one.

The shortest route to Hill Top Road from the train station took him straight through the park. Childish superstition warred with stubborn defiance, and in the end, he decided to risk it. Unsurprisingly, nothing happened. It could have been that he was too powerful to interest whatever had been here before, it could be that it had long ago left, but more than likely it was just too close to sunrise to be prime hunting grounds for the Dark, despite the clouds and drizzle. Whatever the case, he made it to the other side unmolested.

The house Judith Bradford’s grandfather had owned was gone, which was something of a shock; it had been the largest and most impressive house on the block, and now there was nothing but a slight depression where the basement had once been. Martin stared at it for a moment, letting memory and knowledge mingle. It had burnt down not long after construction on the replacement for the Fielding house had concluded, probably retaliation from the Lightless Flame for the loss of Agnes Montague, possibly just bad luck. Either way, it wasn’t where he was heading and it wasn’t any of his concern.

Still…as he continued on up the road, getting progressively wetter and wishing like hell he’d brought an umbrella, he couldn’t help but think back to the party. He actually hadn’t had a very good time even before Gerry made them leave; he’d spent about half the time avoiding the food so that he didn’t get called names for being fat and the other half of the time avoiding Lizzie van Pelt and Helen—Helen—what was her last name? They’d both been dressed as Anastasia and spent an awful lot of time trying to flirt with him, and since even back then Martin had been quietly in love with one of the older boys in the group he’d been very uncomfortable with it. He’d never much enjoyed the ones from previous years, either, and he’d really only gone because Melanie wanted him to.

There weren’t any good memories on this street. Not his, not Ronald Sinclair’s, not Ivo Lensik’s, not Father Burroughs’, probably not even Agnes’. He wasn’t going to learn anything that didn’t hurt. Why was he doing this?

Because, he thought. Because he couldn’t leave the mystery alone, because it was important to so many Fears, because there was something he didn’t understand. Because he’d felt so strongly that he shouldn’t dig more into Hill Top Road. Because the Web hadn’t tried a ritual yet either, as far as he knew—unless that was what Raymond Fielding had been up to—and the risk of Jon or Sasha being made a keystone of one was too great for him to let things alone. Because—goddamn it, Helen’s last name was Richardson, the onetime real estate agent who’d been taken by the Spiral had been the same pretentious snob who’d decided he would make an ideal partner and had insulted his sister in the bargain. Nobody deserved what she’d got, he thought, but it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

Preoccupied with that, he walked up the front path of 105 Hill Top Road and reached for the door.

It wasn’t until he was actually inside the building, neat and well-appointed and sturdy and clean—apart from all the cobwebs—that it occurred to Martin that the door shouldn’t have been open. Nobody lived there—all their research had been very clear on that—and while it didn’t seem to be for sale, there was certainly no reason for it to be unlocked. And yet he’d just…walked in like he owned the place.

A feeling of foreboding crept up his spine. It was not helped by the soft click as the tape recorder he hadn’t realized he’d put back in his pocket clicked on.

Martin pulled it out and spoke into it as quietly as possible. “I’m…in the house. Not the house, of course, the one Raymond Fielding and Agnes Montague lived in burned down years ago, this is a rebuild. But this…this land, this spot, there’s something significant about it. And it invited me in. No…it led me in. I can’t help but recall that in Ronald Sinclair’s statement, he talked about being drawn back in by invisible threads, that he didn’t feel like he was making a choice but he knew it was a thing he was going to do. I’m in much the same boat. I can’t walk away now, but…why not? What’s keeping me here?” He took a deep breath. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out.”

Cautiously, he began moving through the ground floor. Like most fat people, Martin had always been very light on his feet, and like most children who’d grown up in abusive households he had long ago mastered the art of moving quietly without being heard. The building might be ten years old, but it had never been lived in, so the chances of creaky floorboards were slim, and there was every chance he could get through without disturbing…whoever had unlocked the door.

Christ, that was an unsettling thought.

“There’s no obvious basement,” he murmured. “I know that was in the old building, but Anya Villette’s statement suggested there was one in this building, too. I would have thought…” He trailed off, staring at what he’d at first assumed to be a closet. There was…something behind it. Something important.

Slowly, inexorably, both afraid to know what was there and afraid to walk away, Martin reached for the handle of the door. His fingers wrapped around it, and he began, with the same deliberate slowness, to turn it.

A hand clamped over his mouth, and another arm wrapped around his torso, restraining him with surprising strength. He let out a muffled curse and tried to poke his tongue through his lips and lick the hand to get whoever it belonged to to let go, but somehow, his lips wouldn’t part. The hand pressed over them seemed strangely…sticky.

“Sorry about this, Martin,” a voice, low and female and wholly unfamiliar, said directly into his ear. “Can I call you Martin? I’m going to call you Martin. Anyway, I am sorry, but I thought it was high time we had a little…chat. Face to face, as it were.” The person gave a low chuckle. It wasn’t especially sinister, but it nevertheless filled Martin’s entire being with dread. “Step into my parlor.”

#ollie writes fanfic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest)#martin blackwood #tim stoker #guess who at the end :)#spiders #minor paranoia #manipulation #slight misuse of Beholding powers #mention of fire #kidnapping

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