#the queen does not give a damn about unwarranted opinions

[tutuandscoot]

Tessa walking away from literally everyone’s bullshit

[cto10121]

The bad Shakespeare takes keep coming, I see. This one had the cleverness to couch itself as a personal narrative (makes it much more interesting, tbh). But as bad Shakespeare takes are my bread and butter, my boon and bane, mamma mia here we go again, with Merchant of Venice.

“But those who thought the play was irredeemably antisemitic were, the consensus went, vulgar and whiny—​and, completely coincidentally, they were also Jewish, which somehow magically invalidated their opinions on this subject.”

I’m glad (is that even the right word?) this author found scholars that don’t think this play is anti-Semitic, but my experience with scholarship has been way more mixed than that. Suffice to say, this is literally all the play is known for these days, and views of the play as anti-Semitic are everywhere (Rosenbaum even had a hot take that since the Nazis liked it, it must be anti-Semitic). Didn’t know Harold Bloom thinks this play is anti-Semitic, though. That in itself is a bit of a red flag, as Bloom is a notoriously poor reader of Shakespeare.

“[I]n Merchant, Portia unhappily fulfills her father’s requirements of her suitors, while in Il Pecorone, the lady enjoys drugging her suitors and robbing them blind. By removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the suggestion that malicious schemers come from all walks of life.”

Or, by removing this detail, Shakespeare removed the clear and abhorrent sexism of his original source that turned a woman robbed of her autonomy by her father’s will into a criminal. It’s almost as if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“Dr. Lopez, one of the most respected physicians of the 16th century, had indiscreetly revealed that he once treated the Earl of Essex for venereal disease. The earl took revenge by framing Dr. Lopez for treason and arranging for his torture; while on the rack, Dr. Lopez “confessed”—​though “like a Jew,” as the court record states, he denied all charges at trial, while the attorney for the Crown referred to him matter-​of-​factly as “a perjuring murdering traitor and Jewish doctor.”

This is a very twisted account of the Lopez affair and Essex’s motives in going against him, at least to my understanding. For context, Lopez was accused of receiving loads of money from the King of Spain to poison Queen Elizabeth.

According to Stephen Greenblatt, in Will of the World: “Essex had tried some years before to recruit Lopez as a secret agent. Lopez’s refusal—he chose instead directly to inform the queen—may have been prudent, but it created in the powerful earl a very dangerous enemy. After his arrest, he was initially imprisoned at Essex House and interrogated by the earl himself. But Lopez had powerful allies in the rival faction of the queen’s senior adviser William Cecil, Lord Burghley, and his son, Robert Cecil, who also participated in the interrogation and reported to the queen that the charges against her physician were baseless.” Lopez apparently had been taken bribes from various sources, and confessed (freely? under torture?) “that he had indeed entered into a treasonous-sounding negotiation with the king of Spain, but he insisted that he had done so only in order to cozen the king out of his money.” Weird.

Greenblatt isn’t a historian, though, and Essex was indeed an asshole to Lopez, (and for what is worth, I feel Lopez was innocent; I just get those vibes) but so far I can find no other source that Essex actively framed Lopez. Most likely he did some sleuthing, dug up some questionable, compromising stuff, and tried to blow a hearth flame into a firestorm.

“After all, the historical record gives Queen Elizabeth a cookie for dawdling on signing Dr. Lopez’s death warrant; her doubts about his guilt even led her to mercifully allow his family to keep his property, not unlike the equally merciful Duke of Venice in Shakespeare’s play.”

Again, Lopez had powerful allies (doesn’t get much higher than Burghley), and again, re: Greenblatt: “According to court observers, Elizabeth gave Essex a tongue-lashing, ‘calling him rash and temerarious youth, to enter into a matter against the poor man, which he could not prove, and whose innocence she knew well enough.’” A cupcake, then?

“And it is of course entirely unclear whether this trial and public humiliation of an allegedly greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian, rapturously reported in the press with myriad antisemitic embellishments, had anything at all to do with Shakespeare’s play about the trial and public humiliation of a greed-​driven Jew attempting to murder an upstanding Christian—​which Shakespeare composed shortly after Dr. Lopez decomposed. Most likely these things were completely unrelated.”

Nearly all the major Shakespeare biographies and articles I’ve read literally and explicitly talks about the possible influence of Lopez’s execution on Merchant of Venice and names it as an inspiration: Greenblatt, (he even headcanons that Shakespeare watched the execution!) Bate, Ackroyd. That’s how Horn managed to ping my BS radar something awful—because I had read about it, many times, even if it was mentioned in passing. It’s solid, legit Shakespearean academic fanon. The sarcasm is really unwarranted, and childish besides.

“It was damned hard to hear the nuance while parsing lines like “Certainly the Jew is the very devil incarnal,” or “My master’s a very Jew; give him a present, give him a halter,” or explaining what Shylock meant when he planned to “go in hate, to feed upon / The prodigal Christian.”

The first two are the fool’s, Lancelot’s, lines, I think. As for Shylock’s hatred toward Christians, while ugly, it’s entirely understandable given the Christian characters’ treatment of him pre-play and during it (Antonio spitting on Shylock’s gaberdine and then asking him to borrow money from him is called out by Shylock himself for its sheer hypocrisy). It also fits Shylock’s character as an unassimilated Jew, resenting Christian hypocrisy and racism.

“The actor began the brief soliloquy that every English-​speaking Jew is apparently meant to take as a compliment: ‘I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? . . . ​If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?’

“Wait, that’s the part where he’s more human?”

[…]“Sure,” I told my son, game-​facing him back in the rearview. “He’s reminding us how he’s like everyone else. He’s a normal person with normal feelings.”

My son laughed. “You seriously fell for that?”

[…] “What do you mean?”

“Shylock’s just saying he wants revenge! Like, ‘Oh, yeah? If I’m a regular human, then I get to be eee-​vil like a regular human!’ This is the evil monologue thing that every supervillain does! ‘I’ve had a rough life, and if you were me you would do the same thing, so that’s why I’m going to KILL BATMAN, mu-​hahaha!’ He’s just manipulating the other guy even more!”

And then the crowd applauded, Harold Bloom cried, and the mayor gave the author’s six-year-old son a gold medal for his Brave Hot Take. Honestly, this was the most unbelievable part of the essay I’ve read. Unless this kid has been reading academic essays on MoV that posit this exact same interpretation (“Shylock was just using humanistic rhetoric to justify his ~bloodthirsty revenge!”), this one’s for a fake Internet stories anthology. Shylock may be a dour, miserable pain in the ass, but he is no Barabas, an actual anti-Semitic caricature—he has a character, and a recognizably human one, and the play bears it out that he is right in his anger.

“I reviewed the other moments scholars cite to prove Shylock’s “humanity.” There were two lines of Shylock treasuring his dead wife’s ring, unlike the play’s Christian men who give their wives’ rings away. But unlike the other men, Shylock never gets his ring back—​because his daughter steals it, and becomes a Christian, and inherits what remains of his estate at the play’s triumphant end.”

Er, this is a non sequitur—that last has nothing to do with the first. The point is, Shylock doesn’t give away his ring; the fact that his daughter stole it means nothing to his treasuring it. It may be proof of the play’s marginalization of Shylock (which accurately if sadly reflects real-life systematic marginalization), but not his humanity. Shakespeare just doesn’t do backstories, even for major characters, so it is significant that he gave Shylock a wife/beloved in the first place.

“Finally, scholars point to the many times Shylock explains why he is so revolting: Christians treat him poorly, so he returns the favor. But for this to satisfy, one must accept that Jews are revolting to begin with, and that their repulsiveness simply needs to be explained.”

This makes absolutely no sense at all. If one accepts Jews are inherently revolting, then no explanation need be given for when a Jewish character acts revolting! The racist accepts the revolting Jewish characterization without qualm. The fact that the play insists on his grievance is significant.

“We listened together as Shylock went to court to extract his pound of flesh; as the heroine, chirping about the quality of mercy, forbade him to spill the Christian’s blood as he so desperately desired; as the court confiscated his property, along with his soul through forced conversion; as the play’s most cherished characters used his own words to taunt and demean him, relishing their vanquishing of the bloodthirsty Jew.”

YMMV, but to me there are no cherished characters in this play. That’s the whole point! Everyone is so mired in this dreary capitalist materialism that denigrates genuine human connection into mere transaction. Everything to these characters is money, money, money (and class), or at least tainted by it. Shylock is simply the most overt (and honest) of the lot. Love relationships, religion are impoverished; Portia and Bassanio are scarcely more suited than Portia and her other suitors. Shylock and Antonio are Jews and Christians in-name-only: They are capitalists first and foremost. Portia is a smarter, more likable Karen. Lancelot isn’t funny. Jessica is okay, but her leaving her father is framed as a asshole moment at least in one instance. Portia is probably the most lovable, but she has her asshole moments too. There are no truly awful characters, but you don’t need to demonize and dehumanize your whole cast into two-dimensional racists just to make a point.

Merchant of Venice is not the best of plays. It is one of Shakespeare’s experiments, a proto-problem play before his Jacobean era, using dark comedy and a slight bent of farce to explore and elucidate social issues, racism and discrimination, chiefly. At least it tries, anyway. Taming of the Shrew is the first proto-problem play done completely farcical, which at least makes it compelling in a slapstick-satire way; Merchant is much more sociologically astute, but also more dull and coolly distant even from its own concerns. I don’t blame anyone, much less Jewish people, for not liking the play or thinking it a masterpiece. I myself don’t, though for reasons that have nothing to do with the usual ones. I like what Shakespeare was trying to do and I think he did some things very well. It has ambition and thought. But I feel like for most of it Shakespeare was on writing autopilot while mentally looking around for something a bit meatier to adapt and develop. It’s a jogging-in-one-place play; he has a couple of those.

In sum: Author argues for complicated play’s anti-Semitism, ends up just saying the racist slurs by the flawed/asshole Christian characters made her and her son uncomfortable (feat. A distorted and even misleading account of the Lopez affair). Plus some internalized anti-Semitism to sort through, methinks.

[khiphop-discussions]

Idk if you’ve talked about this before (I’m new to your blog) and feel free to ignore if you’re not comfortable responding or even if you just don’t feel like it, but what is your perspective on cultural appropriation in K-HipHop? I am Black, and I have been following KHH for almost 7 years now but the longer I’ve been listening, the more it seems inexcusable? Like I understand appreciating culture, but rappers like Queen Wassabi and (it sucks to say) Sik-K who make Black culture their whole aesthetic really get under my skin, and it sucks to see Korean Americans say nothing, or even appropriate themselves. A lot of artists I would actually love if they weren’t taking from Black culture, but it’s so weird to me, especially after seeing the almost complete scilence during all of the BLM protests last year. I know H1gher and some other artist said stuff, but even then it’s like if you can grasp that you should be able to grasp CA. Like you have your own beautiful ass culture. And if you don’t care about Black people’s opinions then get out of our genre?? How do you feel about it?

I abosulutley love your blog btw ❤️❤️❤️ sorry for the long ask lol

I’ve discussed CA quite extensively. But honestly, I’m quite burnt out on it so I don’t really discuss it anymore cause I’ve really said all I can really say. The braids are a mess, the du-rags are a mess, the appropriation of (mostly) Black American gang culture is a mess too and so on.

I wouldn’t really say Sik-K makes Black culture his whole aesthetic even though AOMG/H1gher LOVE a damn du-rag. I’m not a Sik-K fan so maybe I’m missing something but I don’t really see it that much. I’d say he dresses kinda normal outside of when he wears du-rags. My problem with Wasabii was that she said the n word.

I disagree that it was almost complete silence. Almost everyone I followed at the time said something about BLM or made a post about the protest or just hashtagged it.

I feel like CA is a much more subtle and complicated issue than police violence. Cause almost everybody with a brain thinks police violence is wrong just off the strength that it’s violence. Even if some people follow the “well follow the rules and you won’t get hurt” line of thinking. Everybody knows to a certain extent that non-violent people probably should not be murdered. Even the most racist person would probably agree even if they don’t necessarily care that Black people and other POC get killed a lot and would never be moved to advocate against that. Almost everybody regardless of location is indoctrinated pretty early on that violence, especially when one party hasn’t done anything (physically) violent, is wrong. Even the biggest police or government bootlickers likely understand on some level that the violence is wrong even if the police worship doesn’t allow them to truly admit that it’s a systematic problem with the police (and that’s where the “not all cops” thing comes in when there’s a case where they can’t “just follow orders” their way out of it because it’s just too blatant, excessive, and unwarranted in that case).

On the CA end, not everybody agrees that CA is a problem. Many believe that all CA is just appreciation and inspiration. It’s a academic (and in some cases legal) subject. It’s pretty complex. If it wasn’t for social media, most of the people who know about CA wouldn’t really know about it like that. In fact, SOOO many people who learned about CA from social media don’t even truly understand it like that. Even people from the culture are split (kinda like the n-word, you’d be hard pressed to get everybody to agree on who and if anybody should even allowed to be saying it). Also, there’s the location issue (”People from Japan don’t care if I do *insert CA instance here*) cause the history of two ethnically similar people could be COMPLETELY different especially if they are born and raised in two different countries and even if they are born in the same one but in two different neighborhoods or socioeconomic statuses and/or educations.

This is not to defend against CA cause I’m firmly in the camp that, in general, CA causes harm. Just to give perspective on how complex CA really is. Police brutality has complex causes as well but I feel like the basic understanding is much easier to understand since it’s [violence = bad] already ingrained in most people. 

Now where the hell was I going with this cause I done typed a whole damn essay...

Oh yeah, basically CA is wrong. I’m just burnt out of calling it out tbh but I side eye people and definitely take note of who does what so if things keep piling up THEN I can talk about that.

[thetaylorfiles]

Here is something I don't get. Some of you have disagreed with Taylor making a short statement on IG (I believe mostly just to address the 200 calls she probably received from different media outlets) and said it was immature and petty, yet you are applauding people like Azealia Banks, who literally has no dog in the fight, popping off on Twitter. I mean do you want this shit to die or not, because all these people are just feeding the beast that will end up biting Taylor!

I did not say it was immature, nor did I say it was petty. Please allow me to explain exactly what I found slightly underwhelming and slightly irritating about Taylor’s message. Here’s what I didn’t like about it:

1. She said “I’m not going to comment about this” and then proceeded to do just that. I mean, come on! She’s better than that! She’s the queen of words and saying things perfectly. Don’t say one thing and then do the opposite. I just find that one thing to be unnecessary and beneath the clever and extremely mature Taylor we’ve seen recently.

How about “though I’d rather focus on what’s important right now, I’ll say this: I’m glad that people can see I told the truth even though someone tried to frame me and edited the footage and put me, my family and fans through hell that was entirely unwarranted as you can now see.”

Though obviously she would have worded it better...!

2. I also took issue with her saying she’s (and her family and fans) have been put through hell for FOUR years. That’s simply not true.

She herself has said otherwise in interviews several times. At most, the hell lasted two years and even during that hell, she was falling in love and that was admittedly (from Taylor’s own account) joyful.

So while I know that what happened was traumatic to her and life changing and I take nothing away from her experience, I believe she overstated the weight of it by lengthening the time that it affected her that strongly. And in doing so, she gives away a small bit of power and a small bit of the high road that she’s famous for and that I adore her for.

In conclusion: I have zero issues with her speaking on it. I’m glad she did! I just would have preferred she do it in a somewhat different way. A bit more clever and biting, actually. Taylor is such a fucking wizard with words, you know? I just wanted... a bit better.

I love that she said something but then directed people to aid those in need. That was perfect. I love that she was succinct and to the point. I love that she prefaced it with the fact that she’s been asked about it so she’s speaking on it.

I’m glad she addresssed it. However, I’m just being nitpicky. I really love her so damn much that I don’t want to leave any room for anyone to criticize her ever. Does that make sense?

Now, do I want this shit to die, like you asked? Honestly? No. If it means Taylor content in any way, I’m all for it as long as it doesn’t hurt her. And this isn’t hurting her. This is vindicating her. But it’ll blow over very soon. We’re in the middle of a pandemic the likes of which the modern world has never seen and everyone has much more important things to think about.

I hope this is crystal clear. I was too overzealous in my irritation last night. I explained I was in a bad mood. I was sad and resentful about everything going on in the world. I’m emotional AF these days. And I probably overreacted with too much annoyance.

However, I take issue with two minor things. That’s all. And my opinion doesn’t matter even matter in the grand scheme.

[vegalocity]

Star Butterfly and Janna Ordonia

Character Hot takes

How I feel about this character

Star is my baby girl and I love her dearly, she’s a complex flawed heroine that really was doing her best in a bad situation. And really the post-series hate she’s been getting is mostly unwarranted since like...Ya girls been forced to make heavy adult decisions non fucking stop since the end of season 2 and whetehr destroying Magic was the right decision or not it makes perfect sense that she’d come to see the damn stuff as an overall net negative on the world.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

TENYA IIDA-She’s got a type and that’s the nerdy bois, but like nerdy bois who are also half jocks. Also Iida would be good for her. Marco’s nice but he’s mostly an enabler for her more wild tendancies, as is Tom, Ya Boi Iida would actively challenge her and encourage her to grow.

Hiro Hamada-again, nerdy bois, but Hiro would be an interesting and fun outlet for her to grow through since they’re both very young and able to grow together

Tsuyu Asui-it cute

Jackie Lynn Thomas-Starkie is DEEPLY underappreciated my guy

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Janna Ordonia-Brotp of the ages

Momo Yaoyorozu-I just think it’d be very wholesome

Kelly- one of my big complains of seasons 3 and 4 is that we never really got any Star and Kelly one-on-one hangouts. She was a former Bounce Crew member too you’d think she and Star would have their own dynamic.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Actually wasn’t all that bad of a girlfriend to Tom? At least not in relation to how 15 year olds who are dealing with WAY TOO MUCH OTHER STUFF can be. In fact I’d argue that either of them probably should have known better than to get back together int he first place from how much shit was happening. A lot of the Star hate surrounding the eventual dissolution of Startom is actually perfectly consistent with how she’s always acted around friends. if anything the issue with star lied in the fact that she DID just kinda treat Tom as a friend. She’d take Cheap Pot Shots at him like how she does to Marco and Ponyhead, she’d double book herself and try to juggle everything because she refuses to let one person feel more or less important than the other. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

No matter how much sense it makes with her character, I still REALLY wish she’d been able to find another way to stop Mina. like... a spell for Solaria to possess her and SHE could call off the army or something. Something i’ve considered for my big ‘Star in BNHA’ AU is basically where in the battle against the Solarians all of the friends she’s made along the way, Mewman and Human, all come together to wield the magic of the queens that came before to heal the Magic dimension as one.

How I feel about this character

Primo Crow aesthetic. The trash tier daughter. The Ultimate Gremlin child

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Draco Malfoy- It be funny

Jackie Lynn Tohmas- Long live Janackie

Tom Lucitor- Honestly who the friggity fuck ELSE?

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Star Butterfly- Again, Ultimate Brotp

Marco Diaz- Absolutely hilarious combination of ‘you’re my friend’ and ‘YOU RAPSCALLION’

My unpopular opinion about this character

I honestly can only Imagine Janna seeing her concept of attraction as a distraction and general nuisance than anything beneficial. The other person will have to do the pursuing because no matter if she thinks you’re hot, she’s not interested in you beyond a passing appraising glance.

therefore all of my appreciation toward Janna ships is lightly thinking about how Hilarious and excruciating the courting process must have been. Like a montage of valentines stuffed into her locker being casually incinerated spare the chocolate she’s already eaten, a single rose left on her desk casually getting its petals collected and dried for a spell. if you throw a pebble at her window to serenade her, you’re getting a bucket of water dumped on your head.

Janna is the only teen in Star Vs to not give anything RESEMBLING a shit toward romance and I don’t care how cute anyone thinks their ships are, i’m still taking that to it’s natural extreme.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

really would have liked a Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy esque episode that was entirely Kelly, Ponyhead, and Janna making some mischief. That could have easily been one of the funniest episodes in the entire series.

[lightshielded]

jarvan iv’s new lore / the good, the bad and the oh?

i just wanted to make a more official post on the changes or expansions in his new bio and my own opinions on them and why i think they’re good or bad or if they’re confusing. i will be posting a like thing to the forums in hopes of getting some answers from riot.

THE GOOD !

JARVAN III ! riot has added further information about jarvan the third, the current king of demacia. it’s really nice to actually have some official information on the man who rules the entirety of demacia rather than having to infer things from a mix of slight mentions in character bios and old lore. we know he is a smart ruler, one with a strong political mind allowing him to prevent infighting between political houses. we now know him to a loving, if a bit absent father, and a devoted husband and is truly trying to do right by his son. man even seemed unfazed by his son bringing home a half dragon when the entire demacian court was questioning the wisdom of letting the prince have a dragon on his personal guard. i don’t know man, they’ve made jarvan iii chill and i like him.

XIN ZHAO EXISTS ! this is more existence xin has seen in years and look i know it’s a brief ass mention in jarvan’s lore on how y’know he is actually doing his job of the seneschal of demacia and the lightshield family’s steward and just looking after a young jarvan but damn. yes. give xin lore and give jarvan the personal relationships which should have been established before and did exist back in the old - old lore.

EXTRA DETAILS ! i do like the small extra details given to events in this new biography. for instance, before he warred in the areas to the south, now we know the true names of these areas and where he fought and that these were also the same lands jarvan i lost his head to sion fighting in. we know a little more about his childhood and his education and why things were the way they were. just nice little details which gives his early bits of lore some interesting bits and bobs.

THIS LINE ! ‘ and the king beginning to feel the weight of his years, the prince must ensure he is prepared to one day inherit the throne, and be crowned King Jarvan IV of Demacia. ’ this line right here. this makes me feel things, that is all. just damn, king jarvan iv of demacia. now ain’t that a mood.

THE BAD !

LADY CATHERINE ! now, jarvan’s mother was only once mentioned back in the journals of justice and i honestly thought riot had forgotten about her. yet, i still joked with the release of sylas that they do not touch her. and, you know what, they really shouldn’t have. i am happy she got mention but i hate that she was revived into lore purely for the trope of killing off female characters as some kind of poor excuse for development and angst in male character’s lives. like yes, demacia is low technology and anti - magic so childbirth is probably a dangerous thing which results in a great many more deaths than in the modern day, but it was wholly unnecessary for jarvan’s older lore did not require it so it was a detail cheaply used and unwarranted. 

NO CAPTURE ! jarvan’s narrative across all lores from the oldest to the one just prior to now have included him spending time in noxian custody due to a mistake on his part and him feeling the need for self - improvement and redemption. this has been his hallmark for many years and provided strong reason for character development by curbing his pride and his rash behaviour, showing his strong empathy for his fellow man and how that is both boon as well as cause cause him to make blind errors. each of these lores has provided us with a sheltered character pulled into a world far more gritty than he was living in, struggling, failing but rebuilding himself into a stronger person. yet here, jarvan barely fails. his ‘ downfall ’ moment is simply that his battalion gets splintered off after scores of victories which spread them too thin. that’s right, he won too much, got cocky and kept pressing forward. while it mentions he was troubled by what he saw there was no blind dash ignoring of orders cause he couldn’t let the murderers of his people walk free. nah, now it’s more an ego complex following a pledge to bring stability to the region and possibly regrouping when you hear the gates of mourning fell is not on the agenda when doing that. so instead, he is splintered off and he and some survivors wouldn’t surrender and escaped into the forests where they were hunted down and jarvan finally took an arrow to the knee side. here it catches up with the older lore and he lies dying in a fallen tree till our dragon friend comes to save him after mistaking him for food ( i hope they don’t remove that line from her lore when it gets updated i love it ). not to mention it removes his torture by noxus and i have no idea how swain’s line works anymore or how sion even exists.

NO VILLAGE ! so jarvan gets saved and brought to castle wrenwall which is where he combated yvva in older lore and not the small demacian village. this further changes jarvan’s narrative as they know who he is. the garrison commander instantly knows jarvan is the prince and thanks shyvana for saving her. her being a part of demacia no longer becomes because they saw her saving some random demacian and helping him and so having demacian like values and so inviting her to stay because she is a good person. it instead becomes well you saved the prince we are indebted to you. it also loses the charm of shyvana helping out in a village and the prince having to learn to live as a normal person since he is pretending to be so. it also squishes the timeline some but i’ll cover that in the next bit . . .

JARVAN’S SELFISH ! jarvan’s motivation to help shyvana is completely changed. i doubt this was intentional but the wording is very off. before: shyvana tries to leave because she knows the dragon attacks that have started happening are her fault. jarvan stops her, learns of her past and then pledges to help her because she is his friend and he owes his life to her. his own doesn’t matter, he will help her or die trying. now: the very recount heavy style of the rewriting of this new lore implies he sees yvva coming in the distance and he sees her as an opportunity to redeem himself, not help shyvana. in fact, in this new lore they barely interact. jarvan has no reason to care for her since he is still injured when yvva appears so they haven’t spent long together. like when i said the timeline is squashed i mean from several months down to maybe a couple weeks. there is no need for this reduction and all it does is hurt jarvan and shyvana’s friendship and turn jarvan into someone who cares more for his ego than his friend. what happened to learning about charity, huh?

GAREN BARELY EXISTS ! do i need to say more, jarvan’s old lore told much of their friendship and how garen’s efforts saved him but thats now deleted from the timeline and all jarvan is left with is a mention that they were friends, an almost copy paste from garen’s older lore which mentions he admires his fortitude and that now he is shield - captain so jarvan needs to shape up. it just doesn’t feel connected or personal. how am i meant to see that two people are friends if all you say is, yeah, they’re friends. how about some show not tell?

TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE / REALLY RUSHED ! now i’m sure you’ll be surprised since i said i was happy to see stuff on jarvan iii and xin ( cause i am ) the issue is the writers are working under a kind of word limit system so while i love reading about other champions and characters, devoting several paragraphs of jarvan’s limited amount to other characters and info which is interesting but doesn’t push his story too much feels a little cheap. this rushed pace they then had to write with acts to flatten his character. things that were written once in beautiful detail are now reduced to recounted fact that lack the emotion of what the previous did. ie: CURRENT: ‘ He was devastated. He had failed his family, his kingdom, and his brothers-in-arms. ’ OLDER: ‘ As Jarvan was dragged further from Demacia during his weeks of captivity, he was ashamed that the rashness of his decision to pursue the Noxians had led to needless Demacian deaths. Crushed by the loss, he came to believe he no longer deserved to live in Demacia, let alone inherit its throne. ‘ even just this little bit on his emotions post failure. before it goes into how he stews in his grief for weeks. his shame. his loss. he no longer feels like he can be called demacian. now he is just devastated because he failed.

THE OH ?

JARVAN’S STANCE ON MAGIC IS KNOWN ? people know shyvana is a dragon now. all the nobles in attendance know. jarvan’s father knows. his friend who hates mages probably knows. literally anyone who can hear court or military gossip knows. how is this man left to do his shit when everyone knows that jarvan has a dragon on his personal guard ? this is the prince of a magic fearing nation, a nation who has in recent times made their laws significantly stricter. HOW IS HE JUST AROUND? DOES LUX KNOW THIS? DOES SYLAS KNOW ANY OF THIS? HOW IS SHYVANA NOT LOCKED UP WITH THE NEW STRICTER LAWS ??????????

IS THE KING / QUEEN STILL ELECTED ? a big part of jarvan’s character previously was that he had to toe around his nation’s views because his actions could easily be seen as treasonous or wrong and prevent him from being elected king when his father relinquishes the throne. but now it just mentions he is the heir and he is to inherit it, which it was mentioned in the other lore that he would inherit it ( or rather it was mentioned he didn’t feel like he could since it was mentioned when he was depressed ) so i don’t know if they have scrapped this part of demacian lore or if it just wasn’t mentioned. i have no idea.

[kincringeemporium]

The Promised Party Cat Callout (Long Post!)

Here we go, y’all. I’m not gonna go all-out with the salt and vitriol typical of my longer posts, because... this isn’t about me being salty. This is about highlighting the issues with Mod Party Cat of the fictionkinfessions blog. 

Nor is it intended to bully or chase Party Cat off of Tumblr. Yes, this is a callout post; no, it’s not an invitation to attack the blog with hate or stalk their sideblogs. And no, it’s not just my personal opinion, which we will get to. 

This is intended to show Party Cat exactly what is wrong with how they’re running the blog and how they’re behaving. If they learn from it, good. If they don’t... then, they don’t. 

Last of all, we did gather opinions from both kin and non-kin in a survey. This isn’t meant to antagonize the entire kin community. In fact, the information from kin really helped to support this argument. Thank you to the kin people who did respond to the survey. 

(Btw, survey is still open: https://goo.gl/forms/lDoffQVVmELDo2EZ2 ) 

Obvious content warnings for dark shit apply. (Abuse, depression/suicide, etc.)

With that being said... let’s begin. 

The main reasons for the callout are these: 

Passive aggressiveness to or about other mods

Passive aggressiveness to anons/senders 

“Cutesy” or overly positive typing/behavior in serious situations 

Material that is generally improper for this kind of confession blog 

Hypocrisy

Majority of survey takers agreed with each other and with the points made in this callout

We’ll go one by one. 

Passive-aggressiveness to/about mods

(The bottom half of the mod page was linking to Party Cat’s other blogs and crediting some theme elements. Not relevant to callout.)

There isn’t a lot of information about the other mods or why they left; the general consensus on Maude is that they left because of school, but nothing about Kuroocrow. Now, why is this passive aggressive? 

There was no need to publicly say that there’d been a “catfight” (ha ha, funny) with Maude. We don’t know if Maude even gave Cat permission to say this. If not, it’s disrespectful. (Nothing wrong with saying they’ll be okay.)

What Cat is saying about Kuro is even more aggressive than that. “They refuse to do anything to help!” Okay. That could be true. There’s still no need to rant about it. 

“Ask them on my behalf what the fuck is going on with them!” Adding ‘on my behalf’ comes across as incredibly self-centered. And saying ‘what the fuck’ adds to the aggressiveness. Even if not intentional, that is how it looks, and it needs to be changed.  

All that needs to be said is something like this: “It’s just me, Party Cat! Maude is on hiatus, and Kuro is absent. If anyone knows what’s going on with them, please DM me!” There. That’s respectful and to the point. 

Passive-aggressiveness to Anons/Senders 

This section will be... long. 

So.. there’s a lot of overlap here with the ‘cutesy typing’ issue, but I’ll get to that later. I had to crop the screenshot to just this because there was so much that wasn’t 100% relevant to the callout. (Context for this post: Cat promo’d a kin server, an anon found some unsavory things happening in the server, anon warned Cat, and Cat said this.)

“...Seriously there’s like a few thousand people following this blog” is an unnecessarily rude way to say this. The point itself is legitimate and understandable. It really just need to be reworded so as not to come off as salty. 

Alright, I’d understand this one if there was anything in the blog description or about pages to warn people that the blog can get dark. Confessions about death, suicide, rape, incest, murder, violence, high emotional distress, etc are jarring to see when this blog tends to be lighthearted.  

While this anon does look a little bit defensive or offended, that’s so slight compared to the defensiveness of the response. Personally, I read the question as confused. (Y’all, who agrees with me? Who disagrees?)  

Cat... people don’t tend to expect very dark content on a blog like this, especially when there’s no warning, and they might not even bother to blacklist the tags you use because they don’t expect it. (That’s a guess. If I’m wrong, then smeone should explain it. ) There isn’t much of an answer here - you just answer their question with another question. 

So, okay, I agree with Cat saying that this ask is vague. And it’s not good to add “but” after something like ‘No disrespect...’ -- because “but” does negate whatever precedes it. 

Those are the only things in this screenshot that make sense. Now we’ll get to the things that are passive-aggressive. 

“Maybe it’s because...” Vague in itself. ‘Maybe’ gives you wiggle room to get out of this perfectly legitimate critique, instead of saying “Hey, I seem this way because...” 

“People keep asking me things without providing the barest amount of information...” People actually do provide information. Sometimes it isn’t enough. That doesn’t mean they aren’t trying, and they could be dropping the subject because of how you respond (nobody really wants to interact with someone being rude). 

“I just fill up the dead air with jokes!” Plenty of people do. And it’s fine... just not in this situation. When something serious comes up, you shouldn’t simply make a joke and move on. This reads like an excuse, and even a way to shame people. (”Oh... it was only a joke? Now I feel bad! :(” ) 

“And then people get more mad because... I don’t know!” This looks like you are blaming people for their feelings. People are allowed to feel mad. It’s never okay for them to send hate or be dicks -- which they’re not doing. 

“Nobody reads that page, lollerskates!!” This could easily be solved by a regular, repeated post linking to the FAQ. Or a regular, repeated post explaining why confessions sometimes aren’t answered. Or something like that. Just a bit more effort. 

Okay: “This blog is only for kin. We want to keep it within our community. If you have questions, check out this FAQ!” 

Not okay: “You have no business interacting! You don’t know anything!” 

That ‘sincerely’ isn’t very sincere at all. Most antikin will respect kin not wanting anti interaction on their blogs. Those that don’t are being dicks. And non-kin people who don’t have anything against kin are not at all likely to be hostile toward you, so being this hostile to them is unwarranted. 

It’s confusing that this community, in general, would like non-kin and antis to become educated about what kin is/means... then such an influential blog sends a message like this. Regardless of how people feel about Cat, she does have pretty decent influence and a huge following; it’s very easy for impressionable kids to pick up on this weird double standard. 

There’s nothing wrong with preferring to let someone else educate non-kin. There’s nothing wrong with pointing non-kin in a different direction. 

There’s a lot wrong with blatantly pushing them away like this. It’s rude. 

Inappropriate Cutesy/Overly Positive Typing 

Cat isn’t stupid and knows full well what this anon (same one from before) meant. There was no need whatsoever to make such a giant joke of the question. 

(Not to mention... why the hell would she tell everybody that she has so much medical debt and can’t afford electricity? I don’t know her situation so I can’t say it is/isn’t a joke too. It is something that could genuinely upset people, and some would even believe it. It’s a terrible thing to say.)

“:3c” Not harmful in itself. Just doesn’t belong in a serious ask. 

This anon meant a post in which they were venting about abuse... they were angry that a character had abused their kintype. Cat knew that, considering their abuse content/trigger warning tags. This response looks sugarcoated and mentions some random anecdote about a thing Cat does, which is not appropriate in a situation regarding child abuse. 

This was in response to something that was legitimately annoying Cat and breaking a blog rule. It does not look like an appropriate or effective way to address the issue - even looks immature. Did people take this seriously? 

Yes, this really is a tag on a venting ask about a real life abusive stepfather. A joke. In a venting ask... about an abusive home life. There is a tag saying ‘Your stepdad sucks’, which is good. A joke, though, is too far. 

(Apologies for a repeat screenshot - I saved this one for right now, for the sake of organization.) 

There is, as I’ve been saying, no need for this. It’s very strange to ‘roleplay’ and act cute when there’s possibly a toxic Discord server going around.  

When asked if any of Party Cat’s mannerisms were bothersome, one person said this: 

Others said these things: 

Inappropriate Material 

Shoutout to @queen-dragon-slut (damn Tumblr won’t link you) for getting me this screenshot. 

What the hell, Cat? This is serious -- this is even more serious than people sending confessions saying things like “Ugh, I hate this kintype!” or “Ugh! I hate that character!” This person actually endangered their own health and safety to force themselves into a ‘kin shift’. And it’s in no way Cat’s fault. 

However. 

To not even provide the anon with links to help blogs or any kind of resources, list some tags, and move on, shows an incredible lack of effort. Not only that, but I feel bad for this person. One note. That’s it. Nobody seemed to care that someone was suffering this badly, Cat included, which is, quite frankly, disgusting. 

Again, something this dark doesn’t belong on a casual confession blog (which is what your blog looks like it’s supposed to be). And again, it genuinely fucking worried me. Is this person okay? 

And it’s not even tagged. Not as ‘suicide’, not as ‘depression’, not as ‘suicidal ideation’, nothing. Which is what this is. This person feels like they’re not needed, like they’re pointless, which exactly what suicidal ideation does to you. 

You can’t DM an anon saying, “Hey, you alright?” You can, however, at the very least, link them to the help blog page. 

Mod Ryan, who is also part of the fictionkin community whether we like it or not, has seen: 

Confessions about incest 

Confessions about being abused otherwise 

Confessions about stalking and being stalked

People saying they liked to kill 

People saying they weren’t at all sorry for violent things their kintypes did

Asks saying characters or people should’ve killed themselves 

@queen-dragon-slut said about some of the suicide-ish confessions:  “ Tbh when somebody sends in a confession saying “I killed myself in my canon” it just sounds like they have some fantasies of wanting to kill themselves but cover it up by saying that their kin kill themselves and try to play it off. That’s not healthy.”

Hypocrisy: 

Alright. That looks reasonable -- but wait. 

The asks and other screenshots I just posted do strongly come off as suicide wishes, if not actual notes. 

Here’s what people had to say when asked if they’d seen Party Cat acting hypocritical. I did not even mention suicide asks or dark asks in the survey question: 

____  I wish I had time to say more but class starts in twenty minutes. When I’m back, I will add onto the callout with one more thing: that people feel Cat isn’t doing enough to help distressed anons.

Huge thank you to everyone who helped out with this! 

It’s something that people have wanted to say for quite a while, and something that should’ve been said a long time ago. 

Nobody should be demonizing Party Cat; there is a real person behind the screen. This should be a learning experience for her. Not an attack. 

-K 

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Proposal

Not my Gif

Mag 7 Week, @mag7week

Day One Prompt: Fall ll Proposal

Joshua Faraday x Reader, Female Reader, Mostly Fluff

AO3 Link/ Support Me on Ko-fi

Day 2, Day 4

A/N: I’m going to be honest, I don’t think I’ll be able to do all of Mag 7 Week, but I’ll try my best.

Word Count: 3.0 K

          “Ow, ow, ow,” Faraday whined. “Careful will yah?”

           “Don’t be such an infant,” you said dabbing a cloth across he brow.  “You’re lucky your little stunt didn’t get us kicked out. Hell, you’re lucky you weren’t killed.”

           “Good thing I brought along my lucky charm then,” he said, giving you his most charming smile.

           You weren’t impressed and pressed the cloth a little harder, causing him to hiss in pain.

           “Hold that there,” you said.

           He did as he was told as you walked away from the bed and started rummaging around your saddle bags for a bottle of whiskey.

           You and Faraday were staying in a hotel and gambling parlor somewhere in the hills of California, you weren’t exactly sure where.  All you knew was it was the first bed you’d had in weeks and you were a bit peeved Faraday had decided that night to start a fight with one of the patrons.

           Granted it wasn’t entirely unwarranted.

           You had ridden into town earlier that evening.  You were able to sweet talk the manager into giving you a discount on the room, but even then, you’d only be able to stay for the night.  On that prompting, Faraday went straight for the poker tables while you got everything settled in your room.

          You took your time to change and clean yourself up, making yourself presentable before heading back down stairs.  By then, Faraday was well into a few hands as you took your usual position behind him.

          Ever since you joined up with Faraday, he liked having you by his side, calling you his lucky charm.  You, however, thought it had more to do with the fact that you were better at cards than he was.

           You never cheated necessarily.  You never were in a position where you could see the other players cards, but you found it easy to spot men’s tells as well as were rather quick calculating the risk in your head.

           You and Faraday had devised a simple way to tell him what to do.  One tap for fold, two taps for call, three taps for raise. Sometimes he listened, sometimes he didn’t, but he always valued your opinion.  Either way, it usually left with full pockets and full stomachs for the both of you.

           Of course, being a woman hanging around a poker table was liable to have some question your character, or more specifically your occupation.  

          You had gotten used to it over the years to the point where it didn’t bother you anymore, but it still managed to get a rise out of Faraday.  You often could calm him down, but on this particular evening one of the patrons, Earl, if you remembered right, seemed awful determined to get him to do something stupid.

          Earl shot you a lewd smile as Faraday folded another hand.  The cards weren’t working for him that night and his chips were starting to run low.

          “You know Faraday, I’d be willing to give these chips back for one night with her,” he offered casually.

          “She’s not for sale,” Faraday said stiffly.

          The cards of the next hand were dealt, and you placed one hand on Faraday’s shoulder while the other gently stroked the back of his neck.  You needed him to relax if he was going to win the next hand.

          You took a peak at his cards: Three Jacks, one four, one three.

          “I’m not asking to buy her,” Earl said.  “Just rent for the night.  Twelve dollars is more than reasonable, and besides, you’d get her back in the morning. I bet five dollars.”

          “How about if I say no,” you said sharply.

          Earl gave you a smirk.

          “C’mon darling, you telling me Faraday is paying you more than twelve dollars a night?”

          “I’m saying he doesn’t pay me anything, and I’m still saying no,” you replied.

          You caught Faraday giving a small smile of appreciation.

          “Call and raise five dollars,” he said, his easy confidence returning to his voice.  

          Earl stared at you in disbelief, as the bet moved around the table.  Two of the men folded while one called.

          “Call,” he said, his face shifting into a meaner expression. “I don’t really think it’s up to you whore.”

          His eyes shift quickly to the dealer.

          “I’ll take one card.”

          To all around the table one might think Faraday was unaffected by the comment, but the slight twitch of his jaw told you otherwise.  

          “She said no, end of discussion,” Faraday said easily.  “And she ain’t a whore. So, you best keep your mouth shut or else you’ll lose more than just your money. Two cards for me.”

          The other man at the table took two cards.

          You looked down at Faraday’s hand, keeping your face completely neutral.

          Earl’s eyes narrow as he looked at his pile and back to you.

          “All in,” he said, pushing his chips into the pot. “That’s forty dollars to you.”

          Faraday looked down at his chips.  He only had about three dollars left and neither of you had much to spare. You also couldn’t afford to fold.

          “Now how are you gonna pay for that?” Earl said coldly.

          “I got a horse,” Faraday said.  “Stallion, up front, you can take a look at him yourself.  I’ll call with him.”

          Earl shook his head.

          “No deal, there is only one thing I’ll take.”

          Even your mask faltered at that.  Your grip on Faraday’s shoulder tightened as your black face slipped into disgust.

          Faraday, however, looked down right furious.

          “What did I just--”

          “It’s fine,” you cut in.

          Faraday looked up at you in surprise.

          “Y/N…”

          “I said it’s fine,” you said meeting his eyes.  “He wants to lose that’s his business.”

          Faraday kept looking at you, silently begging you to say no.  You gave a reassuring smile, gently tapping his neck twice.  

          He got the message, and reluctantly, he nodded his head.

          “I call,” he said.

          The other man at the table folded and so came the moment of truth.

          Earl gave you a sly smile.

          “I’m gonna look forward to you,” he said laying down his cards.  “Full house, Kings over Queens.”

          Faraday glanced at him, looking solemn.

          “Good hand,” he admitted.  “Winner that one.”

          He then laid down his cards, smiling as he did.

          “Course, doesn’t beat four Jacks,” he said.

          Earl’s eyes widened in disbelief as he stared down at the cards and then up at you. You didn’t bother to hide your smile as Faraday gathered up the chips into his hat.

          “Gentlemen it has been an honor,” he said.  “But now, I think I’m gonna turns these in and call it a night.”

          He got up from his seat and linked his arm with yours as he walked toward the bar to cash in his chips.

          Unfortunately, Earl proved to be a sore loser as he followed behind you.

          “You cheated,” he spat.

          “I did no such thing,” Faraday said.  “You just happen to have bad luck.”

          “You saw my cards,” he said looking at you.  “Damn whore saw my cards.”

          “Any gambler worth his spit would had made that bet on four jacks even if the other asked for one card,” you shot back.   “I didn’t have to see anything.”

          Everyone in the bar now had their eyes on you. Earl looked towards the dealer to back him up, but the dealer just shook his head telling him silently to drop it. Earl, however, wasn’t giving up easily.

          “I want a re-match,” he demanded.

          “You got nothing left to bet with,” Faraday said.

          The bartender handed him his money which Faraday took gratefully, before looking to you.

          “C’mon darlin’,” he said wrapping his arm around your waist as you walked towards the staircase leading up to the rooms.

          “I got a horse,” Earl called.

          “Ain’t interested.”

          “Fine,” he spat.  “Go ahead and enjoy your whore. She’s over charging you. Girl ain’t worth more than two dollars in a back alley.”

          Faraday stopped in his tracks.  His grip tightened slightly around your waist as his other hand balled at his side.

          You placed you hand on his back, trying to gently push him forward.  

          “Just keep walking,” you whispered.

          “You don’t think I’ve seen her type ‘round,” Earl continued on.  “Says she don’t charge nothing, but soon as man’s luck changes she off like the wind ready to drop her skirts at the first fake gold watch she sees.  You really think—”

          Earl never finished his sentence as Faraday punched him straight in the nose. Earl recovered quickly and soon you lost track of them as a crowd gathered around the two men.  They didn’t stop until the bartender jumped in forcing the two men away from each other.

          You finally made your way through seeing Faraday looking worse for wear, and Earl’s face looking like it had gone through a meat grinder.

          Thankfully, the bartender took your side, throwing Earl out while you got Faraday back up to your room.

           You found what you were looking for and pulled out a fresh cloth as well. You dabbed it with whiskey and walked back over to where Faraday was sitting on the bed.

           “You can put that away now,” you said.

           Faraday set down the dirty cloth allowing you to take a better look at his injuries.

           They weren’t that bad.  He wouldn’t need stitches or anything else, but he would defiantly be sore in the morning.

           “Hold still,” you ordered.

           Faraday nodded, straightening himself up.

           You only just grazed his brow when he jerked back letting out a small stream of curses

           “God damn son of a bitch!” he snapped.

           “You’ve been shot before and you can’t handle a little sting,” you asked sardonically.

           “That’s different.  That is the heat of battle, this is…”

           He hissed as you pressed the cloth unexpectedly back against his head.

           “Tedious pain,” he finished.  

           You couldn’t help a little smile appearing.

           “Whatever you say Faraday,” you said pulling the cloth back. “There, you won’t die of infection at least.”

           “If you say so,” he said, tentatively touching his forehead, before looking at you.  “Does my face look at bad as it feels?”

           You gave him a once over.  His nose seemed to be swelling.  Chances were good his left eye was going to be bruised in the morning and the cut above his brow you just cleaned was still dark red.

           “Just about,” you said honestly.

           He huffed out a laugh.

           “You certainly know how to make a man feel better.”

           You rolled your eyes at that.  For all his talk, his ego seemed to bruise easy.  

Carefully, you reached out your hand, gently tracing your fingers along the outline of his face.  His whole body relaxed at your touch, keeping his eyes on you the whole time.

Slowly, you then leaned down, your lips hovering just over his.  

           “If it’s any consolation,” you said, moving your hand to stroke his cheek.  “I still like your face.”

           “Well it’s a start,” he said grinning that boyish grin you loved and hated so much.

           He moved to kiss you, but you pulled way, smirking.

           “Oh darlin’, don’t tease me like that,” he complained.

           “Consider this pay back for getting into a fight in the first place,” you said.

           Faraday frowned slightly at your words.

           “Well, I didn’t like what he was saying about you,” he mumbled, looking down at his boots.

           Your expression softened slightly at that.  You ran your hand gently through his hair causing him to look up at you.

           “I’ve been called worse,” you said.  “I’m used to it.”

           “Still don’t make it right.”

           You shook your head.

           “I can’t have you fighting everybody who looks at me sideways.  Besides, not much else he could mistake me for, considering.”  

           “But he—”

           “I don’t care,” you cut off. “I know I’m not those things.  You know I’m not.  I don’t see how it makes much difference what one idiot thinks of me.”

           He didn’t say anything for a long while, searching your face for some sort of crack, but there was none to be found.  Reluctantly, he nodded in understanding.

           A small smile graced your lips at the gesture.  You cupped his cheek and leaned down, kissing him softly. He returned the kiss, closing his eyes as he savored the feeling of your lips, before you inevitably pulled away.

           “I love you,” you said.  “You know that?”

           Faraday kept his eyes closed, as he nodded a yes.

           “Good,” you said, smiling.

           You moved to straighten up, but Faraday’s hands quickly caught your waist. You let out a small yelp of surprise as he pulled you down, your legs falling on either side of his hips.

           You opened your mouth to tell him off, only to be quickly silenced by his lips on yours. His mouth worked hard and passionately. His hand wrapped its way into your hair, while the other rested on the small of your back keeping you against him. You responded instantly, smiling against his lips as you parted your mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to slip easily into your mouth. Your fingers wound their way into his hair causing him to groan into your mouth as you kissed him back with equal passion.  

           Eventually air became a priority, as Faraday ripped himself away from you breathing hard. He placed his forehead against yours. The hand in your hair, trailed down to rest on the back of your neck as yours were placed gently on his shoulders.

           “What would I do without you,” he mumbled.

           You gave is a moment of brief thought before shrugging.

           “Die probably,” you said plainly.

           He let out a surprised laugh, moving his head back to look at you.  His gaze shifted between your eyes and your lips as an odd smile graced his features.

           “Guess I better keep you ‘round then,” he said, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

           “Guess you should.”

           He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours once again.  There wasn’t the same urgency as before, but just as passionate as you kissed him back.  

          Joshua Faraday was many things; a drinker, gambler, a killer, and everything mothers told their daughters to stay away from. He was not an easy man to like and a harder man to love, and yet you did all the same. It scared you sometimes. Somewhere always in the back of your mind you wondered if today was the day he was finally going to leave you behind. It was a silly notion, but it persisted all the same.  He told you he loved you, but in your experience, you found men were perfectly capable of saying it and not meaning a word.  It was made moments like this so precious to you.  For a brief time, those fears would fade away and it was only you and Faraday.  

          He pulled way once more, leaving you breathless.  You opened your eyes to see him smiling up at you.

          “What if we got married,” he said.

          You felt your heart stop for a moment.  Your eyes went wide. Your body seemed to freeze in time as your brain registered his words.

          You looked away quickly, taking a sudden interest in the collar of his shirt. You didn’t need him to see you hurt at his teasing.

          “You know you shouldn’t joke about that sort of thing,” you said quietly.

          “No, I’m serious,” he insisted.

          You looked up and were surprised to see just how serious he actually looked. All allusions to his smirking confidence was gone and left with the most plain and open you had seen him.

          “Y/F/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” he asked.  

          He didn’t get down on one knee.  He didn’t present you with a ring.  It wasn’t planned, but then again nothing about the two of you was ever planned.

          “Where is this coming from?” you asked, still coming to terms with the fact this was actually happening. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to make an honest woman out of me.”

          “Maybe,” he shrugged.  “But I think it’s mainly because I don’t want to let you go.”

          You continued to stare at him in stunned silence, your mind racing for something to say.

          He shifted his eyes away from you, clearly embarrassed by his confession, but he knew he wasn’t going to stop.

          “I love you,” he said roughly. “I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but it’s the truth.”

          He paused, trying to think of exactly what to say next.  You kept silent, as his raw emotions played across his face.

          “I haven’t really been happy for a long time,” he said. “I mean, I joke, have a good time and what not, but it never last, and I’m back with this…hole in me.  But with you…whenever I’m with you I don’t feel empty. I’m happy and maybe it is selfish, but I want to spend every moment I can with you.”

          You couldn’t think of anything to say.  You had never heard him confess anything like this to you without some sort of wink or nudge assuring you that he would never get that sappy and everything you were was just some fun fling to pass the days away.  

          He finally met your eyes.  The fear in his gaze was evident, but he tried to cover it with a sideways smile.

          “So,” he said, “do you want to get hitched or what?”

          Your heart started to beat harder in your chest as you began to realize to true depth of his confession. He loved you.  Fully and completely, Joshua Faraday loved you.

          A slow smile spread across your face, as the urge to laugh rose in your throat.

          “Yeah,” you said softly.

          His eyes widened and his mouth hung open slightly.

          “What? Really?”

          You let out a short laugh at his response, nodding your head.

          “Yes,” you repeated clearly. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

          He breathed out a relieved sigh, his own smile spreading wide across his face.

          You kissed him then, smiling yourself against his lips.

          Joshua Faraday was many things, but as you laid together whispering quite plans and promises, you knew he was one thing above all else.  

          He was yours and you were most defiantly his, till death do you part.