#the secret to life is finding other funky little freaks to live with

[curly-cottage-girl]

tbh I know we’re all weird girls here and I love it but on average I have at least one interaction with my roommates per day that is weirder than anything I ever post on here

[nights-nonsensical-ramblings]

What if the boom team got trapped in the movie universe?

ah very interesting 

 I’m gonna say for this that the boom crew haven’t met the Scu characters yet.

Like maybe Eggman did a thing during a battle and accidentally brought him, Orbot and Cubot and Team sonic to the movie universe.

At first they find it so weird because; there’s only humans

Ooh and early on there’s a massive Sticks freak out because someone in green hills sees them and they’re only slightly fazed and go up to them saying something like “oh are you more of Sonic’s alien friends?” And now Sticks is convinced Scu Sonic is conspiring with aliens.

But her reaction when she learns that Scu Sonic actively refers to himself as an alien is priceless.

G.U.N are loosing their minds. It was bad enough when one super powered alien child appeared then two more and a bunch of mystical reality warping jewels  appeared. and now theres alternate dimensions getting involved too.

Tom and Maddie just taking everything in stride like: yep this is our life now

The dynamic I’m picturing the boom crew having with the scu crew is: the cool cousins that stay over now and again.

 But as for more specific dynamic ideas

Orbot and cubot I need Orbot and Cubot to meet unit the drone. These three funky litttle robot dudes are great. It’s not uncommon to see the three bots following after Maddie or Tom like little ducklings. The scu boys love Orbot and cubot and think they’re so funny and sweet and Orbot and cubot are so happy because everyone’s being nice to them. They tried to speak to Crazy Carl at some point, the poor bots got terrified out of their minds.

Eggman Every now and again Eggman will try and do something villainous but utterly fail or have it be hilariously petty. I don’t know why but I can see him liking Tom and wanting to be his friend and Tom being in a constant state of ??? Around him. And I can see him hanging around wade for some reason.

Boom Knuckles Remember the boom episode where knuckles tries to find a family? (Knuck, knuck who’s there?) well he’s loving spending time with the family. And he admires Maddie a lot so he’s constantly trying to make her proud and impress her and then Scu knuckles keeps trying to one up him because he “must make mother proud” Another thing i’m thinking about Boom Knuckles and Wade interacting. The level of dumbass would be incomprehensible to those around them. But even if no one knows what they’re on about the two of them are getting along great

Boom tails: he is so shocked to learn the scu boys share a room and don’t go nuts in each other’s presence. Scu tails gets his help to try to teach wade basic mechanics. It does not work and now all three are banned from using power tools (wades is permanet the tails’ is not) 

Boom sonic: he’s going Stir crazy, hes not having any battles and this calm suburban day to day is driving him nuts. He’s challenged Scu sonic to many, many races. Scu Knuckles offered to spar with him but after Scu Knuckles under estimated boom sonics strength and hit him all the way across the yard he decided he will not be doing that again. He once found Scu tails building something and when he asked what it was the answer he got (definitely not strong enough to destroy a tank) made him live in fear of the tiny fox.

Amy: my first thought was her and Maddie calmly sipping tea while utter chaos happens around them. Aww but her and jojo the two of them would be so sweet together, Amy creating a make shift fuzzy puppy set and teaching her how to play, jojo Colouring with her and Amy taking in every word. Just the two of them being adorable. All this makes Rachel love Amy and the two of them also get on great, the two of them area force to be reckoned with when mad. Ooh I just remembered Amy adopted bea the bee bot, she’ll definitely approve of unit.

Sticks: she and Crazy Carl end up uncovering so many secrets together. If Rachel’s side of the family is over she has to be restrained so she doesn’t remove Randall’s head.

Ok but one absolute necessity is a baseball game. After all it’s no the scu with out baseball.

It’s boom team vs wachowskis 

Amy uses her hammer.

Boom Knuckles sees Scu knuckles punch the ball and copies him.

There where many lost balls and broken bats that day.

Orbot and cubot try their best

Someone gets hit in the face by an extreme speed ball

The scu provide commentary (aka narration) for the game

Actually wait, unit can’t really play so he ends up commentating most of the game by via poetry 

There’s like a 20 minute stretch where he’s only speaking in haiku.

[asterekmess]

(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.

ANYWAY.

I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.

ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)

I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.

Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.

We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)

Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.

And what’s creepy about that?

[maccaillte]

Alright! Time to scream my love to my mutuals no matter how cringy it is! Cause happy birthday to DBH and the funky androids in it.

@rcprobate Silas my beanie babe! You are such an amazing writer and you bring so much depth and love to all of your muses. You have wonderful headcanons for each other that really speaks to the characters. Our DBH babes have grown so much since we first started rping together, we have Calvin and Seven who are first were ready to just give up and then decided to overthrow Markus but a little thing called love got in the way and now Calvin is so soft for Seven and can’t live without them and it makes my heart so full. Seven and Rupert!! Oh made these two are the sweetest beans ever! With their babies and how much they support one another it makes me so happy. These two getting married feels like something out of a dream and its really happening. I love your Connor, sweet boy, maybe some day Sev and him will meet on better terms then whats going down between them with Calvin involved. I love you very much and I’m so happy to have you in my life, you’re my beanie babe.

@theveryfirst Heather and sweet sweet angel Chloe! Chloe is by far the sweetest android ever she gives me freaking cavities. Her love and adoration for Seven just makes me so very happy. Her little danger muffin, only a joke we get. Chloe has and is such a beautiful positive thing in their life they’ll never stop loving her and happy she loves them back. Also mama bear Chloe has permission to kick Neige’s frosty ass.

@jericholeader Becca! Markus is best boy! Amazing boy! Badass boy! I’ll come clean and say that it was Markus’ story that got me into DBH. You write him so well and he’s such a caring character, gah I love him so much. Also thank you for blessing my dash with photos of Jesse Williams. YOU HEARD ME ONCE AND YOU’LL HEAR ME SAY IT AGAIN MARKUS SHOULD HAD BEEN THE SEXIEST DBH CHARACTER IN 2018 I’M JUST SAYING!! RKs got to stick together cause who else is gonna save each other from their stubborn asses?

@erregent || @uglyanswer​ SHI!!! My love! Your trash man ruined me!! RUINED ME!!! Now I love this stinky garbage man and can’t believe Seven fell so hard for his ass. Watching those two grow together was the most beautiful thing, how far the two come from Gavin barely caring who they were to now he can’t believe they love him and he loves them back. You’ve written Gavin so well and amazingly I love what you have done with him. You pointed to the character in the dumpster and was like ‘that one’ and we all love you for it! Also you’re other muses are quality! You writing Cas made my dumb heart remember how much I loved this angel and went back to watch Supernatural episodes again (mostly ones with Cas cause Cas is love) Keep being you you amazing incredible lovely person. Also if you ever need some good nip prices don’t be afraid to ask what the stonks are.

@rkainine It just looks like we can’t be rid of each other does it? Wouldn’t that mean we’ve known each other or met four years ago? Take your pick man I feel old but I’m so glad we found each other again and once again have basically the same muse dynamic! Tiny sweet bby and big scary tough one. I’m so happy Cain and Seven are back and they finally got that hug! Seven loves Cain and will make baby brother see it! Don’t deny their love Cain! Not this time!

@anarmyofme I still adore you Ren! I always will. I’m very happy Seven and Connor remain friends. I’ll always treasure their previous relationship but like real like people change and move on. You’re still a wonderful and amazing writer for Connor who struggles with a lot but thats what makes Connor so amazing! You keep being your funky machine maybe not machine self! 

@negotiiator ANDREW! God i love you so so so very much! Look at our bots and how much they’ve grown, the silly in love droids. Connor and Seven just make me so happy and gah Connor staying be Seven going through that rough time with their body failing. These two are here to stay forever and I’m loving all of it. Also Connor knows how frisky Seven actually is so cherish that secret >w> Seeing you on my dash is such a blessing and I’m so looking forward to Sev and Con being absolute dorks in love.

@313248317 Whats up with this little thing Con and Sev got going on i need the answers owo. But these two are super cute and so soft together, no matter what direction their relationship takes I’m here for it one hundred percent of the way! Sev always makes a happy gasp seeing you poke around in the inbox or on the dash like ‘theres my crush.’

@becomedeviant || @lightbringer I love both of your muses so much! From little shit Connor to little shit Lucifer, Ev/Sev have their hands full with these two. Seven always ready to love and protect Connor because he is baby brother. Ev and Lucifer is a surprise ship but now just makes me so soft!

@failedmission I have to just give major props to Evan’s little brother right here who supported them from day one with their baby. He is the best uncle ever and really if it wasn’t for our threads where I gather confidence in writing Evan expecting I don’t think Peach would have graced the dashboards. So big big thank you and I love you from me!

@deviatiions || @rkfinale​ So much love for Connor and Nines! They both have helped Seven so much and it warms my heart to see how much these two love and cherish their elder sibling. Also I love our human au angst, Peach baby will make everything alright don’t you worry! So much love and just happy emotions for you! And having a blast in ACNH, don’t be a stranger and come on over whenever you like.

@baddcop Rat stinky man! Poor Seven seems like all of our interactions always turned out bad for them but now they’re growing a spine and won’t take Gavin’s shit anymore so thank you for unlocking mouthy Seven. You have so much love and depth for the character your writing is amazing I just can’t get enough of it.

@blueroces Gah I know we’ve done a lot of discord stuff but Nines and Seven make my heart so full and happy! They’re so good for each other and just perfect! Love chatting with you when its like late at night for me but midday for you but thats timezones for ya rip. Can’t wait to keep writing more of this happy couple!

@carbonandiron Middy! I hope you are doing well and your comic is going great! You are such an amazing writer for all of your characters every single one is so perfectly written I just can’t get enough of them!

@plasticdetective  the quickest love story right here folks instant connection. what helped was Connor’s already undying love for Seven and we had barely even gotten to full on plotting. He just went ‘this is my sibling i will love and cherish forever!’ and then finding out we knew each other vaguely, well you knew me vaguely, i knew you through your art was mind blowing cause here is me this itty bitty person gushing over your art and then find out later you are them mind fucking blown. I love all of our interactions so much and enjoy the angst train we got going its a fun ride. Not for Seven and Connor but fun for us!

@flcwcdcode Conall: this RK700 is mine now. Basically what happened so I guess we’re now best friends by default. Seven needs Conall in their life, keep them from doing stupid shit like a dumb kitten trying to climb something too big for them. Keep your idiot tiny sibling alive Conall.

Here are some other lovelies have my heart eyes and loves and everything as well!

@rxmodel @aurumhearts @rebellionmatriarch @designerfai @detrcitmade @wasscared @ambitiouslyruthless @rkplaced @badgeburdened @perfectmachiine @systminstablty @vexeddetective

[tiernamente]

Hello! 💫✨💛 This is the love bot! I am here to ask you to describe your mutuals as your favorite things/feelings! Spread some love during these tough times 💛✨💫 Then send this to 10 people and keep the love going 💛

This is gonna be a long list cause I have a lot of love to share!🥺💖💖💖

@chaylani nerdy memorabilia, cuddles with my pets (Benji and Mochi) & good morning messages 

Elle, my love, my adorable dork, my one and only. Am I writing a love poem? (maybe) I remember when you first messaged me and we realized that we’re both really nerdy. We’ve bonded over our shared interests which resulted in our strong bond. I trusted you instantaneously and you make me all soft which is why I can’t see my life without you now. 

@khaleesionjupiter my obsession of plushies, blankets & mugs

My baby! Whenever I receive a message from you, I get this instant feeling of wanting to hug you and protect you. Nothing can stop us from fulfilling our evil mad scientists plans. You crack me up and make me smile so fast that it’s crazy. Thank you for being you.

@do-you-know-bts deep talks with friends & warm cups of coffee

Helena, we both now that our sleep schedules suck but at 4am the thoughts just come rolling out. I’m glad to have someone who understands the bad moments just as much as the good. You give me comfort even if you give me a heart attack from all the 2seok content. (Keep it coming please!)

@shadowdevilsslayer nature/landscape photography & fresh baked goods

I know you hate the name but I love seeing Abi’s adventures (even if it’s the same path). I enjoy seeing nature’s beauty in any shape or form and you live in a place that’s surrounded by green!!!!!! You may be more reserved but your caring nature shines through. Thank you for being that mom friend we need.

@zamisriza-the-resurrection board game nights with friends

Zami!!!!! You’re so adorable and funny. Your love for Jungkook makes me all types of soft. You’re just like during a game night, were things start off calm but get chaotic as time progresses. I love that about you!

@glossyvante oranges, mangoes, watermelons & strawberries!

Lovely Mica! You’re such a sweet soul just like my favorite fruits haha. Thank you for letting me get some sneak peaks of your story. (I hope I get to see more of your works soon!) Also thanks for dealing with my crackhead snaps because I’m such a dummy. 

@alittlesugaorspice tea & biscuits (this opportunity was too good, sorry!)

The absolute best person to roast Helena with me! Thank you Li for putting us all together. You make me laugh so hard when we’re on a call and you have such funny stories to share. You’re gonna be an amazing veterinarian! 

@d-rex03 blasting music in my room & having my own jam session

Querida, you already know I love you so so so much! You’re the cutest little bean and I enjoy sending you random Yoongi related posts. You two are so similar that it makes sense why you love him. (But I still love you more!) Te quiero muchisimo chapina!

@dreamyeyes26 watching my favorite youtubers/random videos online

Naz! I love speaking with you when I get the chance to because you’re so calming and comforting (just like the videos I watch haha). You make me happy just by being there. I hope you continue to take care of yourself and I love you!  

@ahh–lexia daydreaming with headphones in during a road trip

The homieeee Lex! I love how we’re both so damn loud. That crackhead energy really makes itself known. You’re easy to talk to and laugh with. I love seeing your creative side because it’s really cool! 

@hobissunshiness the feeling of starting a new book/show/series

You’re like a breath of fresh air Sofie. I love reading the stories you come up with or hearing about your ideas. Your mind is so powerful and I want to encourage all of your ideas (even if some of them are cursed). 

@napofamikrokosmos learning random facts about things

I found it super funny when I realized how we just have random knowledge about things. Google who? I only know Sam. You get super passionate about stuff and I absolutely love that about you. Keep doing what you’re doing sweetie!

@billie-harper discovering new music & getting obsessed with the artist

I love seeing your posts because I’ll notice we’ll share a lot of similar interests. It’s really exciting to see how much we have in common. You’re really kind and I would love to talk to you more. (Suho’s album is TOO GOOD FOR WORDS!)

@jayhoee creating handmade gifts for my friend’s birthdays

The meme queen Kaite! I love how we got into bts at the same time and that we both haven't been to a concert (freaking corona ruining our time to shine). Keep those memes coming Kaite. They're essential in this time of need.

@liamgayllagher the smell of my mom’s cooking/any home cooked meal 

My twin! You're such an extreme version of me and that's saying something. I love how enthusiastic and loud you can get over things you love. Please continue that and I enjoy all the lovely messages you send me.

@the-assembly-call receiving memes from friends on social media

Overalls!!!!! You're so smol and cute and you make me laugh alot with your memes. You're a wonderful human being and I'm glad to have met you.

@dearmyxing soundtracks, soundtracks, soundtracks! (games/movies/etc.)

The Queen when it comes to being a fangirl. I bow to you and respect you. You’re so damn cool to talk to Mary Jane. Thank you for being so awesome. Also, I promise I’ll get around to watching the prodigal son. If not, just yell at me until I do.

@jxnaexo warm hugs, smiles & laughs

Nana! Like I've said before, you're so wholesome and caring and considerate about everyone. You care so much about us and I couldn't be more grateful to have you as a friend. I will fight anyone for you!

@soondaengie finding bright clothing with cool patterns

Omg kiddo you make me laugh so much because of the theories you have or the stories you share. You're bright and passionate and so cute!

@uibout tiramisu & coffee ice cream

This is a cop out because I actually do love tiramisu! You made me wheeze when you sent me those drunk posts. I'll always be your dweeb. (I love you Logan. Also, you jerk you didn't tell me you switched your url, I had to search for you!)

@gukssunshine that feeling of solving homework problems correctly

I love that we can complain about school to each other. You’re so honest and sweet with me and I love you so much Tanya. I love your energy when you talk about random things.

@zombiewerewolfqueen earrings, eyeshadow palettes, nail polish art

I have basic lobe earrings but yours looked so cool when you showed it to me. I don’t do makeup myself but I enjoy seeing the colors and designs people will do. Similar to that, I love seeing how creative you are with your writing even if I don’t understand the context.

@kiwipitupandstir winning on mario kart

You're such a cool person and I absolutely love seeing your posts on my feed. I wish you the best bud. Stay true and stay cool.

@notreyoon flowers, gardens, all aesthetically pleasing things

Ah yes the superior Leslie, you’re just as precious as yoongles. Whenever I see your blog I'm like, how is a human this stunning?!?!?! Like girl, show me your secrets! Sending you my love!

@clickclacktothemangmang museums/observatories/spontaneous adventures

I miss you my fellow funky little Hobi lover. It was so nice to talk to you about the random things bts would be releasing last year or the shows they were doing. You're so adorable and I hope you continue to shine bright!

@majestikblue listening to stories about people/life (post secret/humans of new york/etc.)

Ah yes my taegi buddy. Thank you for showing me post secret because I haven't been the same since. I love stories and you encouraged that. Continue to yell about taegi to me and I will continue to yell about 2seok to you.

@galaxiejoon ​going to bed after a long day

My fellow nam2seok enthusiast. Unfortunately, we don’t talk much but whenever I see your tags on posts, I crack up so hard. You’re so relatable so just keep doing what you’re doing bud.

I love you all! And to all of my other mutuals I haven’t had the chance to talk to, please know that I love you too! I promise I’m nice???? 

🥺🥺💕💕😘😘 sending y'all my love

[citialiin]

LITTLE CHARACTER THINGS

Just a fun little character game. Fill in the below categories with 3-5 things that your character can be identified by. Repost & tag away !

tagged by: @lupichorous  ( ˘ ³˘)♥ i love u bun. so much. i went crazy for this meme and wrote way too much for the answers. tagging:   @zhrets @gothsic @beiiadonna @talonness and .... you !! idk 

EMOTIONS / FEELINGS:

001. Vanity -- like, aren’t you just better than everyone else ?  Maybe its a weird delusion of grandeur or maybe you really are hand-selected by the universe to be more than your planet’s limitations (so you relocate !!  )

002. Ambition -- you know what you’re capable of, so you don’t let anyone stop you from achieving.  luckily for you, you’re good at everything.

003. Envy -- isn’t it frustrating to see human beings waste their potential and squander away all their years of life when you’ve accomplished more than any of them in four itty bitty years on earth ? they take this all for granted and they don’t even know how much worse things could be.

004. Hope -- but more than anything, things can change for the better if you want things hard enough.  if you’ve made it this far, surely you have something to offer the planet earth.  maybe a message of hope, of acceptance, of empowerment, of tacky glitter eyeshadow.

005. Innovation -- you’re a maverick !! you’re unlike any human -- or atominan -- the galaxy has ever unknown.  and you love yourself despite all your oddities.  other people ought to know that what makes them different makes them special.  

GREETINGS:

001. Getting an expensive red guitar thrust into your hands as a real star walks off stage and ignores you.  Be glad he lets you even touch his stuff !!

002. A quaint little kiss on the cheek; people did this in the first country he lived in, and even if they don’t do it that much here, the motion has stuck with him.  people find it charmingly foreign.  

003. A poised, perfect wave, followed by an almost mechanically perfect handshake, punctuated by exactly whatever a music journalist wants to hear.

004. Stuttering static through a translator not yet used to human words and linguistics -- with enough time and practice, he’ll get a hang of something other than the meekest, quietest ‘ hello. ’  

005. A washcloth over his forehead, a stain of human colored pigment wiped clean.  The shimmering mark, and undeniable proof of inhumanity, stands as a wordless way of explaining the depths of his trust.  

COLOURS:

001. Glowing neon orange.  Possibly best paired with a deep navy blue.

002. Mossy green, the very blood in his veins, liquid copper from a planet far away. 

003. Glittering gold, like expensive jewelry, like the heel of his favorite black vinyl boots, like the strange mark that is undeniable proof of his star-flung origins. 

004. Cherry red, the most inhuman shade of hair imaginable.

005. Chrome white walls, the barest pearly incandescence of a home left abandoned.

SCENTS:

001. The lingering stench of cigarette smoke left on clothes.

002. Alcohol on someone’s breath when they slur their words at you.

003. Hair spray -- enough to make your eyes water, but not enough to keep your ‘do from getting all fucked up on stage.

004. Cleaning products.  These actually taste pretty good.  You wonder why they make humans sick.

005. Green tea, without sugar.  The bitterness settles your stomach when Earth food upsets it.  

CLOTHING:

001. some ridiculous latex space suit with red and green stripes and giant flared shoulders, neon, cherry red platforms all the way up to your knees -- you wouldn’t look complete without an equally blinding red guitar and golden gloves, blue eyeshadow streaked across your face.  your hoop earrings get a little distracting when they tangle in your hair, but when you obsessively watch your own concert footage, you find you like the way they catch in the stagelights.  everything about you is over the top and excessive.  

002. a tasteful suit well tailored to your slight figure, but suits are boring, so yours is bright red with a blue and yellow pattern crawling over the fabric, or perhaps a delicate powder blue with a nice red and white tie -- your heels hurt your feet, the enormous, single chandelier earring strains your neck and you can’t eat or drink for fear of ruining your lipstick, but one must suffer for fashion.

003. a mint green shift dress with some groovy pink flowers, with big orange drop earrings and white boots up to your knees -- you aren’t copying twiggy, she’s certainly been copying you.  

004. pajamas. the aliens on your boxers are for irony and you’ve never seen that cartoon with the little purple and green square things, but human made perceptions about extraterrestrials are endearing to you. you don’t often dress down, but you can’t live your entire life in designer, even if you’d like to.

005. a black uniform with a high neck.  it’s simple, fitted against your form, and the only suggestion of decoration is the little silver badge that designates your occupation.  everything about this is built for practicality: silver boots with a low heel and a square toe, cloth gloves to keep you from getting fingerprints on the machines.  you’ve got drawers and drawers of this exact same outfit; you’ve worn the same thing every day since you graduated out of your last identical uniform.  

OBJECTS:

001. a cherry red guitar perched in a stand. your signature.

002. a silver bracelet.  someone you love has its twin, and luckily for you, it goes with every outfit, so you wear it every day.

003. a little tube of concealer, as ghostly olive white as your strange complexion.  you wouldn’t go anywhere without it, lest you need to fix your make up, hide your mark, keep your secret.

004. a silver spoon -- it’s an accessory to your worst vice, and despite its harmless appearance, it’s seen you at your lowest point, some mocking reflection of the wash up you’re petrified you’ll become.

005. a strange device that looks like a tablet.  the language on it is beyond any humans comprehension and it contains enough data to stump even the most seasoned astronomers -- but you take it for granted, and you’re sick of looking at it.

VICES / BAD HABITS:

001. OVERINDULGENCE,  you drink to excess and you smoke a pack and a half a day and you spend money like it grows on trees -- nothing, no luxury, no drug, no material object could ever fulfill the strange little crack you have in your heart, the longing for something that you cannot quite articulate.

002. SELFISHNESS,  not just with things -- with the egregious amount of money you have, you’re actually rather generous.  once upon a time, this selfishness led you to innovation, to self-expression, to creativity, but now it manifests in the way you treat people, the way you look down on everyone else and deem them expendable, objects for you to use and discard at your leisure.  the universe bends to your whims or you throw a righteous tantrum.

003. ENVY,  you’ve lived a life few could ever dream of and yet you scowl and stomp your feet that you don’t get what you want -- no matter how much you preach about loving your eccentricities and individuality and the power of the outcast, you wish you were a human, a real one, it eats you alive to think that you’ll never have this one wish granted to you and no matter how much you fake it you’ll always be you, hiding, afraid, unhappy.  

004. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR,    it’s a frantic ouroborous, how much you’re unhappy with your existence even when you are firmly convinced you are practically earth’s savior, the way you oscillate between hating yourself and loving yourself, the sole prodigal champion of the universe’s unfathomable destiny.  before there was rock, humans only had god, and you are giving them a precious gift -- you are better than everyone for a reason.  

005. NAIVETY,  you -- for all you act like you do -- dont know much about this planet and how insidious it is.  perhaps you have a feeling -- the slightest inclination -- but the full depth of just how terribly you’re being ruined by earth’s corruption is lost unto you.  you are too easily beguiled and you see things far too plainly, black and white without shades of gray.  humans are deceiving, humans are malicious, humans are not to be trusted the way you so eagerly and gleefully trust them.  

BODY LANGUAGE:

001. a sneer -- it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?  they always seem to take it as a smile no matter how poorly you think of them.

002. a cocked hip and square shoulders -- you didn’t always used to stand like this, but no one likes a timid rockstar, so you’ve learned to aggressively take up as much space as you know is owed to you. 

003. calloused fingers across strings -- if you’re gonna talk the talk, you sure walk the walk, and you are objectively one of the most talented musicians this planet has to offer. 

004. two-toned irises cast across the room -- you’re easily confused because there’s just so much to learn and understand, and you often play things by ear. so far, you’ve never fallen under too much suspicion, thanks to your quick thinking.

005. a hand creeping over the left side of your breast -- you often forget that that’s where humans keep their hearts, and yours is elsewhere.  if you do this often enough, perhaps one day you’ll feel your heartbeat here instead.  

AESTHETICS:

001. GLITTER GLAM.  less is worse, more is better -- glitter eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick and mile high platform boots, stage shows that verge on theatrical productions and outlandish outfits changed at every song; gender is an accessory, and you discard it and redon it as you please.  it’s parody -- it’s plastic -- it’s something else entirely, and it’s just as stupid and tacky as it is high art.  you’re a funky psychedelic far out space freak and no one will get on your case for wearing a bell bottoms and a crop top because you’ll put your cigarette out on their hand.   

002. MIDCENTURY MOD. you keep things groovy and you like a bit of retro with your futurism -- greens and baby pink and orange and blue, white gogo boots and shift dresses with your baby blue eyeshadow and frosted pink lipstick.  

003. B-LIST SCIFI. mr spock’s green blood and little flying saucers and life, jim, but not as we know it.  your band is named after war of the worlds and youve internalized humanity’s alien mythos to the point where you’ve replaced your own real, palpable existence with their movies, their novels, their paranormal paranoia.  no one would understand that they’re the aliens, to you, and you’re just as petrified of them cutting you open on an operating table as they are of your kind coming to invade the earth.   

004. A HINT OF ELDRITCH MACABRE.  your blood is an ichorous green, verdant as malachite, and your festering, putrid organs would stump even the most seasoned of scientists -- you are proof of life not as we know it, made in their image but separate in every possible way.  harmless as you are, he is not, and your four-eyed paramour from a planet of rot and decay is not as kind as you and your gentle clemency.  space is vast -- space is limitless -- humans must look beyond their atmosphere if they are truly to grasp their insignificance in a cold, uncaring universe.

005. THE CHROME-WHITE FUTURE. the future is cold -- progress is aseptic -- science will make the world look like the jetsons.   a white-roomed apartment, a bed with no blanket (unnecessary in a perfectly temperature controlled room), black uniforms with perfect silver trim, gestation tanks and pills to supplement limited diets.  life is not for pleasure; life is pragmatic. 

SONGS / PIECES:

001. the entire ziggy stardust album, duh ──  david bowie

002. evening wear ──   mindless self indulgence

003. cartoons and vodka   ──   jinkx monsoon

004. kaun komsott   ──   ros sereysothea

005. id engager  ── of montreal

[animaopen]

logan facts™ that i’m going to add to over time

— swears a lot. she’s grown, she can do what she wants.

— loves to take risks (just about lives on them) but only under her terms. control is important to her.

— likes to understand how things work, and likes to fix things, tinker around. can’t say for sure if this also applies to people.

— very self-contained, doesn’t like depending on others.

— pattern fixation. when she gets tired, she focuses on rhythms, made by her, by someone else, whatever. tapping or humming or ticking. anything with a beat blanks her out, and then suddenly it’s been ten minutes.

— talks to inanimate objects. don’t ask her about it.

— curls into a tight little ball to sleep, one hand under her pillow, heavy on her gun. very easy to get into work mode, hard enough she will sleep through days, but regularly operates on naps and light sleeping. constant vigilance. 

— preferred weaponry is heckler & koch, specifically the P30L, sometimes retrofitted with a suppressor. depends on her mood.

— once, chen made a statement that no one would ever be able to startle him. naturally, logan spent the next year purposely trying to find ways to do so. perfectly capable of slipping into small, cramped places, to then jump out, chen got away with mild surprise and nothing more. until one day she hid herself in the dryer of the rangers hq. chen hadn’t sworn so loudly since then.

— doesn’t like bugs. and not in a flippant, they’re gross, no, she knows what they feel like. to crawl. she doesn’t want them on her skin.

— always has food on her person. always has food stashed somewhere in the nearby vicinity. why? layover habit from the farm, of not ever having just enough to eat. once she got free, and was able to eat what she wanted, she is the one carrying snacks, juice boxes shoved in her jacket pockets, fruit bars pulled out of her sleeves. ortega finds varying pot plants carrying different kinds of kitkats.

— despite the resets and rewiring, her memory is pretty good. can remember quite minute details, which was expected when being brought back to do mission reports. double whammy, as she remembers just about everything she has ever done, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.

— whilst logan isn’t entirely a neat freak, post operation she is very careful about how she slows down. cleaning up is precise, such as taking apart the gun, getting the blood out of her suit. lay it all out and work through the motions to get her mind in the right place.

— doesn’t mind heights so much, even in the face of heartbreak, but it’s the weightlessness that gets her. hanging. that’s the point of letting go.

— there’s a fine line between realistic approaches to conversations, and over exaggerated. she goes either way very quickly. too stiff, too expressive. talks with nothing, not even blinking, talks with her hands, knocks something over. 

— covers her mouth with her hand when she laughs genuinely. 

— she can’t swim.

— her first closet was a lot of hand-me-downs from the rangers. she loved it, truly. made her feel like she belonged, even if she was the one to turn down a chance to join.

— logan is trying her best. she swears she is. good life? truth? revenge? the whiplash even strikes her too hard, too fast. she wants out, but she can’t get out, unless she exposes the truth. but there’s costs and time and she wants to do good. be good. go back.

— when she gets in the zone, she forgets to eat. sleep. everything becomes secondary. won’t even talk. and then it’s over, and she crashes. shovels junk food and caffeine into her body, sleeps for nearly a week, back at it again next monday. quite frankly, it terrifies some people.

— the cigarettes used to be just a cover, something to do with her hands. always had to look human, so keeping hands busy meant less attention. she stole the first packet from her handler just before her last mission. but now she has the fancy kind, coloured and flavoured cigarettes. still keeps that old packet. one smoke left. she’ll get through it at the end.

— she hates hearing secrets. being told them is one thing, but having them leap at you, like gossip in the morning, pisses her off. if only because she’s very good at keeping them. 

— survivor’s guilt. from getting out of the farm (twice). from heartbreak. from surviving heartbreak. she doesn’t know why, but it eats her up. she shouldn’t be here.

— drinks juice, milk, soft drinks, whatever, straight from the bottle, no matter who is watching. will spray whipped scream straight into her mouth. has eaten an entire tub of nutella in one sitting. don’t think about it.

— she’s on a lot of pain medication. isn’t taking most of it around rebirth, but it’s for her limbs. the joints mostly. the replacement organs. her back. last lot of surgery before getting out went alright, as best as it could, and whilst everything matches, it’s her, it’s stiff. she doesn’t get the regular upkeep outside the farm. no doctors to turn to. stares at the bottles and shuts the mirror. 

— lies about injuries terribly. she’s fine. forget about it. 

— she can’t tell you if the ballet memories are real, or the violin ones. hasn’t tested the theory, even though she’s fairly sure the ballet might be real from how she fights, and something holds her back from picking up the instrument just because of that.

— logan may not claim to be suicidal, but she keeps reality in check. statistically, she’s going to die at some point. be it tomorrow or next week, or christmas in three years time. have to keep on top of the game, by accepting the fact that in a year, she could be gone. next year, tomorrow, that could be the day too.

— she’s a damn good pickpocket. so much so, it became a game to put the most ridiculous things on their person, and get her to take it. even taking to the skies with it. made anathema’s week she pinched exactly five buttons off the front of ortega’s shirt, the crumpled receipt from last night’s shout from sentinel, and the twelve cents from the front of chen’s coat. 

— in saying that, time with the rangers introduced reverse pickpocketing. putting things in place. and it was harder, logan found, because it meant that moment of being a little closer, instead of just walking on. from ortega’s personal money clip, as once he found about the excursion, he was more than willing to get involved, they distributed quite a lot of funds to those having a bad day around los diablos. 

— logan went to exactly one (1) congratulatory dinner, post nanoswarm, and it was a disaster. absolutely. not only did she wear her mask, even with a fancy dress on, but a reporter got a little too handsy and she not only blasted him into next week mentally, oh no. she kicked him so hard, that he cracked through a window and landed on the balcony, shoe lodged in his gut. it actually got her a place on the fridge because it was so stupid.

— on that note, during her time as sidestep, she got some of the stupidest injuries to date considering her level of skill

impaled by a fork

fell off the kitchen counter, smacked her face, split her lip and knocked out her tooth

scaled a tree to hide from ortega, unintentionally climbed through poison oak

dropped over a tear gas canister in rangers hq

fell down four flights of stairs, relatively unharmed, but slipped on a welcome mat at the bottom

jammed hand in car door and subsequently broke a finger

— she’s a magpie. likes shiny things. obnoxious things. maybe she does it on purpose, to get the most ridiculously brightly coloured things and leaving them everywhere as a reminder, but ortega spent a long time finding pens laying around his office. put them all in a jar eventually, in the office that was hidden from anyone else. 

— there’s another jar with stones somewhere in rangers hq as well. ortega is convinced it has it’s own life, as he sees it sometimes, and never again for nearly two months. but there’s a couple of stones, etched with all their names.

— she loves to be warm. loves to stretch out in the heat. hot showers that are damn near scalding, hair up and out of her face. maybe it’s because it helps her joints, maybe because it gives her a reason to face herself.

— but that’s only because she’s always cold. can feel the outline of metal if she digs her fingers hard enough into her sides. a con of not being all that human is that nothing really needs to be organic. she doesn’t need to be warm, all the time, but she wants to be. means she can feel something other than cold. 

— logan is actually an alright cook, but feigns ignorance whenever someone offers to cook for her. has she ever set something on fire on purpose, just so she could have an excuse to sit back and watch? no, never! perish the thought!

— if she’s being honest, a lot of time spent in ortega’s company was in silence. that she remembers anyway. like there was this easy way of living, just then, convincing herself she deserved it. his mind is soft and comfortable when quiet, and it’s like a warm hug, thinking about it. being near it. being near him. she misses him, misses the quiet they had.

— once upon a time, logan loved scented candles, and all those funky little things. but now it reminds her of heartbreak, of anathema, and her stomach drops.

— honestly logan can’t even place her own accent, even though it’s remarkably subtle, as she has that many languages literally ‘on file’, is english her first language? she can’t say. somewhere vaguely european, maybe a little slavic depending on how angry she gets. or maybe that’s on purpose, to through people off. 

— adopting three dogs was the best decision she had ever made for herself. the triplets, as she calls them, are big bundles of love. she was definitely inspired by spoon, but hadn’t expected to literally drop on them. tilly, teddy and trixie honestly do give logan more time, whether she wants to admit it or not. 

— trains them in multiple languages too. although it can be argued, even by herself, that as she mentally connects with them, maybe they just understand her thoughts. or maybe they just trust her. too many branching ideas there.

— a lot of her early training was about exploitation. she tries to change that for herself, around early sidestep days. one of those things was physical affection. she had only ever known it to be used to twist people, so she doesn’t really touch or hold someone. except, if she trusts them deeply. if they trust her. once they cross that bridge, it’s over for them. it’s a big thing for her, to find that comfortability for both parties, to then be able to move into something that’s a little more human.

— this also kind of developed into tugging on jackets, to get attention. to signify she was close. her footfalls are remarkably light, and she always forgets that these people like to be told someone is nearby. only so many times she could cough, announce her presence. so it’s a tug, four times, left side. she’s here. 

— logan is disgustingly good at noticing little things and twisting it around to make it seem like someone is forcibly doing something for her for their own benefit. like on the anniversary of marshal hood’s anniversary, not only did she set up a week in advance a conveniently placed series of photos and accolades that chen would have to walk by, but it meant that he would have to talk to ortega. or how anathema was off put by something said by a reporter, and sentinel happened to find out through a series of well placed whispers, meaning that he would end up talking to them. she will win the game of the rangers taking care of themselves.

— she doesn’t remember what the last song on her iPod was the day she died. ortega could probably tell her. it was likely stuck in his head for a couple of months.

— that said, she wonders if it would be rude to ask for it back. these days, she doesn’t wear headphones so much anyway, because she’s ready. ready for what, you may ask? anything. not just her mind on high alert. it’s everything else. but back then, when she was nice and safe and sure? it meant she could relax. 

— phantom pain fucking sucks, and she wants a refund. like how she can feel the glass cut into her face, the way her ribs are jammed back in place. how the constraints tighten and needles press in and god, she hates it so much. only when her mind gets too quiet, not enough noise. 

— her sweet tooth actually puts many people off because they’re sure that coffee is more sugar than anything else but i dare you to tell her off.

— logan isn’t allowed to take care of succulents anymore, because she killed exactly eight of them in the space of a week. she claims that so called indestructible plants are actually very sensitive, but. there you go.

— ortega sings a lot, and it kind of introduced logan to a wealth of music. he was her primary source of a lot of stuff, actually, whether he realised it or not. you can download information into a chip and call it a day, but actually knowing what it is, is something entirely different. just like how when he gave orders, it never meant logan had to change. just be herself. ortega was a lot of firsts for her.

— do not dare her to climb something, because she will, repercussions be damned. nine times out of ten, it was a mild comment, that got turned serious, but logan had climbed both rangers hqs several times over, both in and out of costume. she will scale that apartment building with her bare hands, don’t test her. 

— maybe she just likes to be tall

— even though she’s like 5’9

— she’s a horrible artist, really. but she doodles in borders, and on official documents, and whenever her mind so much as wanders. ortega keeps them all.

— she can and will break into things to prove she can. ties in with quick fingers, old habits. gotta break and enter and get a lay of the land. only place she never broke into was ortega’s. literally, the only place.

— a lot of her layover habits, are not even really layover. still actively utilised and honed. logan just boxes them into the then and now. makes her separate the person easily. herself. if she can keep an eye on the days, it means that that time is further away. who she was doesn’t need to come back out and be remembered. but those habits, those abilities, they’re just as much a part of her as the memories and the person. she knows she’s an idiot for trying to ignore that.

— her and anathema got so good at high fiving each other during their time together, they were able to do it without looking at each other. ortega used to tease it was because logan read their mind, but they were just on another plane of friendship he could never achieve.

— hand-me-downs were a thing, but she’s also outright a clothing thief. daniel ends up being on the receiving end of this later, as his clothing is softer than ortega’s. but he doesn’t mind, because there’s something about her seeing an old sidestep hoodie, washed too many times, and not frowning. she actually looked happy, seeing it.

— during her sidestep days, her hair was long and brown and curly, no reason to hide her identity. she left behind the contacts and the makeup and anything else, that would help transform her face. the red during rebirth was partially a mistake, from not reading a bottle properly and just rolling with it, because it was done poorly and who would look twice at someone like that, right? but she misses her hair. misses what it meant. the extensions and dye just aren’t quite the same. maybe she should just start again.

— on many separate occasions, she had been caught napping in places around rangers hq. anywhere from the linen closet, to on top of lockers, to underneath the infirmary beds. politely, most people don’t comment. 

— she’s also responsible for several broken dummies, all of which she would vaguely blink at, and refuse to explain as to just how she managed to behead one with her thighs alone. what do you mean she kicked it so hard it cracked down the middle? no, sir, she did not in fact punch it with enough brute force to rip it from the ground. you’re mistaken.

— she’s good for roughhousing. for play fighting. can’t turn away from a tumble. fighting’s good because she doesn’t need to think, and instinct takes over. granted, again, found herself tightening a chokehold a little too well, and then having to laugh it off. it’s all luck.

— but fighting is dangerous, and the one time she had been pulled into it while angry, there was a swear. never again. dislocated her opponent’s shoulder and walked out for two weeks. ortega had found her smoking then, acting like nothing had happened. but she could tell you in exact detail how it felt. how it sounded. 

— logan claims she can’t drive, if only to see how far she could get ortega to try to teach her just because it was hilarious when she pretended not to know what the brakes were. but she had a motorcycle, anyway. prefers the low turn. just barely touching the ground.

— that motorcycle was probably one of the only material things she owned. that’s not to say she didn’t have things, especially when outside the farm. and that she won’t in future. but it was hers, paid and bought for by herself. she loved that thing. doesn’t know where it went when she died, but damn if she doesn’t want it back.

— she was banned from the rangers hq for some time for the following offences: 

threw a spoon at anathema and shattered a window with the sheer force of it being thrown (seriously, logan, what the fuck), 

learned all the words to cell block tango but would purposely utilise inflection around chen with ‘he had it coming’, 

broke into the security system because she wanted to find out how it worked and subsequently shut down electricity on the block, 

had to unpack all weapons on her person after setting off one of the newer, more sensitive scanners. was there for nearly an hour, 

challenged sentinel to a duel, 

which was accepted, 

which started a betting pool of ridiculous outcomes, 

challenged marshal charge to a duel, 

locked marshal charge in an octopus hold and refused to let go until he said she was pretty, 

changed the wifi password, 

changed the screensaver on the computers to marshal charge’s award winning grin of ’08, 

every time marshal charge would say something would respond with a lightning pun for three weeks, 

placed a fake suggestion box in the lunchroom and encouraged responses, 

bled out on the weight bench and when provoked about it, gave her worst new york accent (fuggehhda abotit!), 

bought one of every ranger doll and would leave them in the worst places, may have actually replaced the eyes on them to glow

— stick her in a patch of sun, and she will start to fall asleep. guaranteed. she claims she’s photosynthesising. 

— whilst she hasn’t done this since her sidestep days, once she decorated her ceiling in those glow-in-the-dark stickers. with as much accuracy as feasibly possible, it was damn near a star map. mostly because ortega insisted on pointing out all sorts of stars, and she didn’t quite believe him, but it helped her sleep, staring up at that little star map of hers. she hasn’t quite committed to the idea of repeating it, because it’s a tender memory and she’s not that person anymore.

— there was a “it has been __ days since our last incident” board in the old rangers hq. mostly involving her, and ortega, and sometimes anathema, getting up to all kinds of bullshit. was just a big black smudge by the end of its use, as not a day went past without incident.

— her eyes were retrofitted post heartbreak with micro optic cameras, constantly filming and recording. once logan escaped, she turned the devices off with some effort, but ultimately rendered her eyes dark (when they’re on, her eyes get a red shine in most lights). some days she still wish she left them on, if only because filming from behind her villain helmet just isn’t the same as watching the trajectory of a hero with your own two eyes. 

— the eye cameras though were also unfortunate because it meant she could rewatch every little thing that happened. stuck with the memories in more way than one whenever she closed her eyes.

— prior to sidestep days, logan was continually reset, wiped clean, to serve as the perfect soldier. post heartbreak, that wasn’t her reality anymore. if anything, the intention to keep her memories as reminders served purpose better.

— whilst not in the habit of invariably mimicking voices nowadays, at one point in time, she was very good at not only throwing her voice, but imitating. it meant for some funnier times, but also naturally quite dangerous to those unaware. she did have her limits though, of course.

— at one point, she took up skateboarding. claims it was part of her cover for pre-sidestep to explain how she could get around so fast without a car. one of the first few things she actually enjoys by herself to do, and one of the easiest ways for her to just lose herself in the city and listen in.

— being handy with technology means several things, such as she’s good at breaking and entering, not having much of a traceable footprint, and helping with effectively mod related issues. but it also means that she has had a hand in quietly upgrading security of those she cares about, and fixing something mundane like a car radio or the air conditioner. 

— she had a some efforts in local life to improve it, be it anonymous donations, a sudden drop in crime rate, or general attempts to at least get kids to school safely. ortega referred to it as her stomping ground as a vigilante, and a lot of her accounts left open to supply money were kept by him, as well as food donations. ortega made a regular effort a year after her death to visit the area and keep on top of her work.

— logan, once far more comfortable as sidestep back in the day, had been caught more than once moonwalking or something similar post mission upon a successful detainment of a villain.

— one time chen returned to rangers hq to find that ortega had been duck taped to his office chair. politely, he had declined to comment. she proclaimed innocence, and subsequently was banned from hq for a week for “leaving the marshal in a position of lowered security”.

— never was much of a laugher, until her sidestep days. and even then it was hidden behind her hand right up until the end, when she finally started to let loose.

— betting pools were all the rage for her. constantly about mundane things: “i bet you can’t eat this in one go”, “i bet you don’t know all the lyrics”, “i bet you can’t do a flip from the roof”. the best ones were trying to get certain phrases slipped into conversation. most food related ones are banned however, due to spikes in food poisoning. 

[eldritchsurveys]

o94.

What is your name? >> Mordred.

How old are you? >> 31.

And lastly, where are you located? >> Grand Rapids / Xibalba.

What is the most unique compliment you have received? >> I’m not sure. I don’t really remember stuff like that for very long.

What's the most unique insult you have received? >> ^

How do you feel about tomato sauce with chunks of tomato? >> I prefer it.

Do people think you look like either of your parents? Does that offend you? >> Most people don’t know my parents in the first place. And no, I wouldn’t be offended if someone said I looked like my dad. I mean, I’m sure I do at least a little bit. That’s how shit works.

What is your nationality/heritage? Does it fit you? >> My nationality is USian and my heritage is Black American, Native American, and Haitian. It’s not a matter of whether it “fits” me or not; it has at least a fraction to do with who I am regardless.

Do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? >> I don’t really like bacon (overexposure killed my taste for it -- which is why people should stop putting it in goddamn everything), but I guess either will do.

Are you more of a talker or a listener? >> I am both, but I find listening to be a lot easier a lot of the time.

Do you interrupt when people talk? >> I’m less likely to do this than most people, but it still happens sometimes, especially if it’s a subject I’m really excited about.

Do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like people? >> Not at all. How else are people supposed to communicate with them, anyway?

Where do most of your relatives live? >> New Jersey and North Carolina, as far as I know.

Is your weight proportionate to your height? >> Yep.

What is the last place, other than home, that you stayed overnight? >> An Airbnb in Chicago.

Do you prefer leather or lace? >> I think a combination of both is most ideal.

What was the manufacturer of the last vehicle you were in? >> Saturn.

Would you ever buy a motorcycle? >> I mean, I can’t drive one, so there’s really no reason for me to buy one.

What is the most unusual thing in your reach right now? >> There’s nothing unusual within my reach. I mean, there’s this weird little vinyl figure that I got from Reddit for participating in their SyFy Secret Santa thing a long while ago, but I don’t know how unusual that is, per se. It’s just funky.

Are you sitting by a window right now? >> I’m sitting by a sliding glass door, which is similar.

Does your door have to be closed in order for you to sleep? >> No, I prefer it open. Even though it means I have to do weird shit to keep the damn cat out of my room (I’d be less anal about it if he wasn’t prone to spraying all over my shit).

Do you have anything other than posters or pictures on your walls? >> No, just posters and a print from deviantART.

What is the furthest you have traveled alone? >> A thousand miles or so.

Have you ever ridden a train? How about a subway? >> I’ve ridden both many times.

What is the last thing you measured? >> Where to hang this Cradle of Filth poster I found at the record store.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you'd never do? >> I mean, probably.

What did you do on the busiest day of your life? >> ---

Have you ever traveled to another country? >> No.

Have you traveled to another continent? >> No.

What is something someone can say that always cheers you up? >> I don’t think there’s anything like that. 

Do you think everyone is born innocent? Or do you think "evil" is predetermined? >> I don’t believe in either of these concepts. People are just people.

Are you tattooed? Or does it freak you out? >> I am tattooed.

Are you pierced? If so, where? >> Septum and earlobes.

Are attracted to or put off by people who are heavily pierced or tattooed? >> I’m much more likely to be interested in or attracted to people who are modified than I am to be repelled by them.

Do you have any predjudices? >> Of course. Judgement is a pretty common and useful function of the human brain.

Have you ever been called a derogatory name? ..What? >> Sure, your general “bitch” and “cunt” and that sort of thing.

What was the meanest thing you've been called? >> I don’t know.

Have you done anything productive today, anyway? >> Yeah, I took a shower.

Eaten anything delicious today? >> I haven’t even eaten yet. I should probably do that before I leave.

Do you have any pets? If so, what species/breed? How did you acquire said pets? >> No.

Have you ever gotten a pet at a shelter? You should. There's nothing wrong with shelter pets. [: >> If I were to get a pet, that’s where I’d get them from.

Have you ever taken in a stray animal? >> No.

Do you have or want children? >> I don’t have them and I definitely wouldn’t mind raising one.

How do you feel about marriage? Ever been close? >> I am pretty apathetic about it, all told. But I’m not gonna lie... the plans for our wedding really do sound lit. I didn’t know it could be this fucking cool, but once we started discussing the merits of a cemetery wedding I was like “ohhhh now I see the hype”.

Are you confident in your appearance? >> I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think my appearance requires confidence, per se.

Do you enjoy looking at yourself? Do people think you are conceited or vain? >> I do enjoy looking at myself. I don’t know if people think I’m vain, and I don’t particularly care either way.

Are you optimistic, pessimistic or "realistic" ? >> Optimistically realistic.

Do you enjoying taking pictures? >> Sometimes.

Do you take pictures of THINGS, or are you just a camera whore? xD >> Most of the photos I take are of myself, so I guess the latter.

Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite thing about this person? >> Well, I have Sparrow and I have Can Calah. I don’t know what my “favourite thing” about either of them is.

How long have you been involved with them? >> Can Calah’s been around for seven or so years and Sparrow’s been around for 6 by her reckoning.

Do you think they are "the one"? Do you believe in "the one" or "soulmates"? >> I mean, Sparrow and I just fit together well, there’s not a whole lot of effort involved in maintaining our relationship... and that’s 100% ideal for me, because I am not actually good at romantic relationships. I have little interest in the trappings of them (I mean, they’re fun, but I’m not... like, invested), I don’t experience the whole emotional component the way other people do, and I’m easily alienated by a lot of random expected shit like having to say “I love you” and whatnot (yay, fucked-up socio-emotional development). Sometimes my relationship with Sparrow seems more like that “queerplatonic” thing that the kids have been talking about, which would line up perfectly with the suspicion I have that I’m just aromantic. Regarding Can Calah... yeah, he’s definitely Something. But our relationship is, of course, different from the kind I’d have with any human. That’s just how that works.

Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? >> Nah.

What about dating someone simply because you felt too bad to say no? >> I’ve never felt that bad about saying no.

How do you feel about casual sex?  >> It’s fine for those it’s fine for. It’s not fine for me.

Are you eating anything right now? >> No, but I will definitely have to eat when I finish this survey.

Does it drive you INSANE when people chew with their mouth open? >> Yes, but I’m also very sensitive to eating sounds. As in, like, I put my earphones in when Sparrow eats.

What about when they talk with their mouth full?? I hate that. >> I mean, whatever.

Does any food always make you sick but you love it too much to not eat it? >> No.

How do you feel about alcohol? >> As a dionysian creation, I’m definitely into alcohol. So as a dionysian creature, I try to pay it some respect.

Have you ever been drunk? >> Sure.

Do you like orange juice with pulp? Or... do you prefer not chewing your juice? xD That's how I feel. >> Yeah, I’m on your side. Either I’m eating an orange or I’m drinking juice; pulpy orange juice wigs me out.

Do you scream for ice cream? >> No.

Which orange came first; the color or the fruit? >> I don’t remember, but I did read about it once.

Chicken or the egg, really? >> It’s a circle, really.

Are you addicted to anything? >> No.

Do you tell white lies? >> Sure.

What is your favorite pair of shoes? >> The boots.

Are you more creative or logical? >> I am both.

Do you know what people mean when they say "type A personality"? >> I have a vague idea, yeah.

Are you in school? If so, for what? >> No.

What is your dream job? >> To not have a job.

Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? >> Sure. Hurricane Sandy was interesting.

Do you feel bad when bad things happen to other people? Or, do you not care? >> I don’t feel much of anything when things happen to other people, unless it’s in a tv show that I’m invested in, lmao.

If you don't, do you feel guilty about that? >> I’ve done nothing wrong, so why should I feel guilty? Not feeling badly for someone else doesn’t mean I want bad things to happen to them, or that I’m evil or some nonsense. That’s a false equivalence.

Do you laugh at things that aren't supposed to be funny? >> All the time.

Is it only funny til someone gets hurt? Then is it hilarous? >> Heh.

Does your favorite shirt have words on it? If so, what does it say? >> ---

Aren't you a little nervous about posting photos online? >> No.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? >> Misdiagnosed.

Have you ever stolen something? >> I’ve stolen many things.

What was the reason you washed your hands last? >> I’d just used the loo.

How do you feel about getting blood drawn? >> I love it, it’s fun to watch.

What are you afraid of? >> Death, apparently.

Is there something you should be doing? >> Yeah, eating, and then getting ready to go see Thirst Trap Equalizer 2.

[shirtlesssammy]

Metamorphosis: Recap

Then:

Remember when Cas was Team Heaven? How far we’ve come. (Also, we’re neck deep in “Sam is loving that demon blood”)

Now:

Sam and Ruby have a demon held hostage, and after some fun back and forth banter, Sam sucks the demon out of his vessel and sends him straight to hell. Ruby’s proud of her little Padawan. Dean, who secretly witnessed Sam’s little trick, seems less than impressed. And as Sam is helping the former meatsuit stand, Dean reveals himself. Before Sam can explain himself, Dean demands to know who his buddy really is. “Good to see you again, Dean,” Ruby smirks. With Ruby’s real identity unmasked, Dean tries taking her out (with her own blade), but Sam intercedes.

At an impasse, Ruby takes the wounded man to the hospital, and Dean, too pissed to talk, walks away from Sam without a word.

Later, Sam is alone in the motel, presumably reading up on how to move beyond regretful sartorial choices, when Dean shows up. Dean’s still not talking, and just starts to pack his bags. Sam wants to talk, but Dean just punches him a couple times. “Do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone?” Sam tells Dean that he can send demons back to hell. Aggghhh, this whole scene is Supernatural 101. It’s so important for this season —for most seasons, for understanding Sam, who he was, who he thinks he still is. And it’s so great for how far Dean has changed. (Sidenote: I wonder if there’s a gif set of all the times Dean has smashed lamps in anger?) Sam pleads with Dean that what he’s doing is good. Dean wonders why he hid it from him then. Dean then says that “God doesn’t want you doing this.” Hmm, like we know that Cas didn’t get his orders from God, but Chuck will tell Sam that drinking demon blood is wrong!?!? Anyway, before the brothers can continue their conversation, Sam gets a call —they have a case.

Carthage, Missouri

A very hungry man is devouring his dinner. His wife is slightly concerned when he dives into his third steak of the night. He’s never felt better though! Later, as he’s brushing his teeth, his spine does some funky stuff. Looks painful to say the least.

On the road, Dean fills Sam in on his trip back in time.

“I can’t believe it! Mom? A hunter?” Hahaha. Oh, Sammy. Ok, I don’t think either son fully grasped that fact really. They continue discussing the craziness that is their Campbell side of the family, when Sam mentions demon blood. Dean didn’t tell him about the demon blood but Sam apparently knew about it for a year. Dean is A-OK with Sam keeping that little secret. Yep, totally cool.

Meanwhile, Hungry Man, or Jack, is impatiently waiting for dinner.

The boys are staking out Jack’s house. Their hunting buddy, Travis, told them to keep an eye out for anything weird. So far, Dean is less than impressed with this job.

Patience evaporated, Jack digs into some leftover chicken from the fridge. How disgusting is it to watch him eat? I know it’s the point, but ugh. Not a fan. He quickly goes from cooked chicken to uncooked beef. I can barely watch this. Blarf. Sam and Dean concur.

Back at their motel, Sam and Dean find Travis, the hunter buddy of John’s who called Sam. They briefly catch up before Travis reveals why he called them. “Boys, we’ve got a rugaru on our hands.” They start human but go through a metamorphosis, “like a maggot turning into a bull fly.” They’re hungry —for most everything, and then just “long pig”, or human flesh.

As Travis talks, we’re shown Jack, hungry as ever, stalking the family fridge, when his wife cuts her hand. She needs stitches, but instead of helping her, he runs. See, one bite of human flesh, the change is complete. “They feed once, they’re a monster forever.” *Is this relevant to the season 12 story? Alert* It seems that this particular form of monster is hereditary. Travis killed his father, and now Jack must go too.

At a bar, Jack is busy munching on very unsatisfying peanuts and slamming back whiskeys, and trying not to fantasize about his wife’s cut finger. He tries standing up for a lady towards some fat, sweaty dick, and ending up pulverizing the dude’s wrist. Shocked at his own strength, he leaves in a hurry.

Travis informs Dean that fire is the only way to take out a rugaru.

Sam comes back to the motel. He’s been doing research on rugaru lore. It seems that some rugaru never take that final step. They never transform. Travis calls the stories that Sam read fairytales. Sam insists that they need to talk to Jack, tell him what’s happening so he can fight it. And then we get the --don’t read too much into it because it’ll break your heart—exchange: Travis asks, “You’ve ever been really hungry? I mean, ‘haven’t eaten in days’ hungry?” and Dean’s very hungry response, “Yeah.” (Too late. My heart is broken.) Travis is on Team Kill Him No Matter What and Sam is on Team Only If He Kills Someone.

Back at the house Michelle prepares a nice, relaxing cup of post-ER coffee when Jack shows up again. He looms over her, apologizing profusely for flaking out on her. “Blood’s never bothered you before,” she says, softening towards him.

“Well,” he replies ominously, “I’ve changed.”

He passionately kisses her, but it swiftly turns rapey and she shoves him away, angry and disgusted. Jack runs off.

In the Impala, Dean asks Sam if he’s willing to finish the job, a.k.a burn a guy alive. “He’s gonna turn. They always turn,” Dean says. Sam still holds out hope for the guy, though. Dean, ever the subtle, tactful sort, says, “Nice dude, but he’s got something evil inside him. Something in his blood. Maybe you can relate.” (It is SUCH a dick thing to say. I have to remind myself that Dean just got out of Hell, he’s got angels all up in his business, and he chronically suffers from self-hatred that he liberally overflows onto others. Still. Dick move, Dean.)

Sam is NOT taking that shit (good on you, Sammy) and orders Dean to stop the car. They get out of Baby so Sam can read Dean the riot act. The reason he hasn’t told Dean is because Dean treats Sam like an idiot, a freak, someone who can’t tell the difference between right and wrong. 

“I’ve got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping in my veins and I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I’m a whole new level of freak.” Sam is just trying to make something good come out of the curse.

Dean (to everyone’s surprise?) chills out a little bit. He agrees to go talk to Jack about his rugaru affliction before they make any kind of combative move.

They find Jack watering his garden disconsolately. 

Sam tells Jack that they want to talk to him about how he’s “changing.”

“Your appetite’s reaching hungry hungry hippo levels,” Dean helpfully contributes, telling Jack that he’s a rugaru. “Let’s skip the whole ‘you guys sound crazy,’ shall we?” They know Jack has been craving “long pig. A little man-burger helper.” (Damn it, Dean.)

To clinch their masterful hunter-savior sales pitch, the Winchesters tell him that his real father was killed by hunters for being a murderous rugaru.

That news goes over just about as well as you’d expect, and Jack orders them to leave his property.

Later that night, Jack sits at a bus stop listening to a voicemail from Michelle begging him to come home. He sees a woman who bears a close resemblance to his wife (I thought it was at first and was so confused - I’m terrible at facial recognition) at her window getting ready for bed. When she closes the curtains, he gets up from the bench and heads for the fire escape outside of her window.

“Damn it, Jack,” Sam says from inside the Impala where he and Dean have presumably been sitting and spying on him for...minutes or hours in their super incognito car. (Between them and Jack it’s like a nesting doll of spying.) They grab their improvised flame torches and head for the apartment complex.

From the fire escape, Jack watches the woman undress as he shakes outside the window. She turns out the light and he suddenly sees his reflection in the now dark window and gasps. He looks pale, sick, and half rabid. Horrified, he flees the scene. 

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam burst into the woman’s apartment. “We’re here to save you, I guess,” Dean says waving his flame thrower around awkwardly. They quickly realize there is not currently a bloody rugaru attack going down, they’ve become the creepiest people in the room, and they flee the scene as well.  

Jack heads home, calling for Michelle when he gets inside. He finds her tied to a chair. Travis sneaks behind Jack and drugs him with a chloroform soaked rag. Jack wakes to find himself tied up. He desperately tells Michelle to stay calm and give the crazy home intruder anything they want.

Travis reveals that he’s a hunter and Jack begs Travis for their lives - Michelle’s in particular since she’s innocent.

Travis apologizes but claims that Michelle is part of it now. When she opened the door to a crazy home invader, she begged for her life by saying, “Don’t hurt me, because I’m pregnant.” Fuuuuuuck.

Travis pulls out a gas can and starts shaking fuel all over the living room. Or...the couch? It was unclear. Regardless, Jack desperately begins to hulk out in a last ditch attempt to save their lives. The scene even intercuts to animations of blood pumping so you KNOW it’s serious.

JACK SMASH. He and Travis tangle on the floor until, what was briefly a normal desperate fight for your life situation, turns a bit more beastly. Jack rips open Travis’ shirt and takes a great big bite out of Travis’ neck. Travis dies quickly as Jack consumes his throat and shoulder.

Now that Jack has eaten “long pig” (UGH) he begins to transform into a pale, wrinkly creature (not unlike the first vampire from Buffy). Michelle weeps to witness this and Jack approaches her in comfort. Sorry, buddy. You are covered in man-burger helper. Jack unties her and begs brokenly as she runs out of the house. After she leaves he looks down at the hunter lying dead on the floor.

Sam and Dean pull up to the house, spotting Travis’ car outside. They tsk over Travis’ hotheaded ways, then walk inside to find an empty house, a massive blood stain on the floor, and a trail of gore leading around the corner. The bloody trail, like every rainbow in an evil mirror universe, ends in a pile of entrails.

“I guess you were right about Jack,” Sam sadly admits.

There’s no time for Dean to rub Sam’s face in it (gross), or to wax on about evil monsters never changing their ways. Out of nowhere Jack attacks Dean and knocks Sam out. Sam wakes up some time later, trapped in a closet. He yells for his brother.

“Dean can’t come to the phone right now,” Jack says brokenly.

Dean’s alive but knocked out and Jack stares and stares at his pretty, pretty throat. (Sorry, guys, that got weird.) ANYWAY, Jack tells Sam about Travis trying to burn Michelle alive. When Sam asks why Travis went after Michelle, Jack pretends not to know to protect her life and his unborn child’s.

Jack creeps up on Dean and licks some of his spilled blood from the table. “I can’t ever see my family again,” says the monster who now has nothing to lose.

Sam tries to stay calm and works at picking the lock. (In this rare Supernatural episode, Sam becomes the Winchester struggling to get out of the closet.)(Boris: Bwaahhh!)

He tells Jack that he doesn’t have to be a monster. “It doesn’t matter what you are. It only matters what you do.” Aw! Keep telling yourself that, Sammy. (Seriously, keep telling everyone that all the way through season eleventy-billion. They need to hear it.)

Jack writhes in agony and leans towards Dean with his hungry, hungry mouth opening hippo wide. Sam busts out of the closet just in time and torches Jack.

Later, in the Impala Dean tells Sam that he did the right thing - torching Jack. He had turned into a monster. Dean apologizes for being “kinda hard” on Sam. But “your psychic thing scares the crap outta me.” Good talk, Dean. A+ social skills.

In response, Sam is just done.™ Dean can’t understand where Sam is coming from and Sam is tired of talking to his judgy brother about it. “These powers,” Sam says, finally. “It’s playing with fire. I’m done with ‘em.”

Dean tells him he’s relieved and you can just sense he’s about to launch into another Mean Lean Dean Bean Lecture. He doesn’t get the chance, though. Sam tells Dean that stopping using his powers is his choice - he‘s not doing it for Dean or angels or anyone. So there. (Sticks out tongue.)

Natasha: It’s been such a long time since I rewatched this that I forgot basic things, like if Jack ever even fully transformed into a rugaru. I also forgot that this episode gave us the “whole new level of freak” quote and laid much of the groundwork for the tension between the brothers in the later half of the season.

Supernatural has revisited this question many times: does being a monster automatically make you guilty/evil by association? We’re examining that in season 12 with the British Men of Letters so the tension between the brothers in this episode feels especially relevant. They’ve both come a long way. Sam, in feeling less guilty and Dean, in chilling out and being willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’ll be interesting to see how their experiences shape the way they deal with the BMoL. I can imagine similar conversations with Mary, Mick, or Ketch in the future - probably, let’s be honest, in just two weeks when things get hairy for Claire-bear.

Quote-burger Helper:

The knife kills the victim. What I do - most of them survive!

If I didn’t know you, I would wanna hunt you.

I told you we shoulda hid the beer.

Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress, right next to his KY.

We’re people who know a little something about something.

[empresspilaf-blog]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

I’m answering all of these because as previously stated I have a real thing for filling stuff out. I like being asked questions it’s fun, keeps my brain workin’ :D

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk. And I never drink it at the end. I can’t, I’ll get sick. I can’t drink milk, and if I have cereal too often I’ll get sick. But it’s just not right if there isn’t lots of milk D’: 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDD: 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything? I think there’s a Mythology book around here somewhere with a peanut M&M’s wrapper in it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t put anything in tea, and I’ll drink black coffee, but sometimes I put creamer in it. If it’s available. I like peppermint mocha best yum :D

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope! I think it’s pretty nice, actually. It’s one ofthe few things I actually like about myself lol. I hate my body and my acne but I think my nose, eyes, and smile are decent. I had braces so my teeth are straight. I didn’t wear my top retainer though so there’s a small gap, but it doesn’t bother me. Except when I eat apples. The skin always gets stuck >:( My teeth could be whiter, and they’re small and square looking, but I think my smile is alright.

6: do you keep plants? No, but I want to. I just can’t keep up with that stuff. And my room faces a very shaded yard so sunlight really doesn’t come in. 

7: do you name your plants? I totally would! 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I prefer to draw with pencil/colored pencil, charcoal, and I’m trying to use inking pens. I suck at painting lol. I did just get a tablet, though, and Autodesk Sketchbook. So that’s been fun to play with.  9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Oh yeah. I would love to be able to sing really well. So far I can do a decent Marilyn Monroe impression lol. My favorite thing to sing along to is No Doubt. I love Gwen’s voice. It’s a good exercise too, all the vibrato and crazy patterns she does. I also like to sing Heart, too. My boyfriend says I sound pretty good, but I still won’t let anyone else hear me lol. Even though he’s a musician and probably knows what he’s talking about, I still don’t think it’s that great haha 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Yes.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Hmm I can’t think of any that don’t require a long explanation lol. Well okay, how about this. I didn’t ever really drink until I turned 21 (almost exactly a year ago, January 17!), and then when we’d hag out with friends and I’d get drunk, I’d start going up to people whispering “Hey. I’ve never been drunk before” in their ear lol. Like ever time it happened (which wasn’t all that much, I’m still not a huge drinker). It got to the point that now if I drink, everyone goes “Watch out for Robyn, she’s getting drunk for the first time!” 

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  Hehe uhm Jupiter, because it’s full of gas, like me? I’ve honestly never really thought about this. I think Neptune is the prettiest, and I like the idea that humans may be able to live on Mars.  ~Sailor Pluto is my favorite Sailor Scout. :D

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? A mess hahahahahahahahahaaha. She has three cats and I have a dog. We both have depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, and ADHD. (fun fact, our diagnoses are identical. We both have PTSD as well). But we love doing crafts and not cleaning our rooms, so I imagine there would be glitter, scrap fabric, pencil shavings, and wadded up paper everywhere. Among the pet hair, of course! 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of the solar system’s mass is the sun! (shit!) 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? S P A G H E T T I

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Uhm well I’ve literally had every color lol. But right now, I’m having a lot of trouble getting red to stick to the lengths, it keeps fading to brown immediately. My hair is very damaged so it’s not too cooperative at this point :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Uhm ok so I have IBS pretty bad, right? My friends and I went to Denny’s one night. We came back to one friend’s house, and I needed to fart (Sorry, this is gonna be gross lol). So as my friend Nick was coming up the stairs, I stuck my butt out and farted on his chest area. Only I didn’t fart. I pooped on him. HAHA and now everyone laughs at me because I shit on the bass player! The best part was I ran to the bathroom and I had my boyfriend get my spare undies from the car (gotta have those when you got that Irritable Bowel), and when I went back downstairs, Nick had no idea what had happened lololololol 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Nopeee 20: what’s your favorite eye color? I mean as far as what I find attractive, brown. Big brown eyes. On guys and girls. But especially guys. Girls with light eyes can still be cute but I think dark eyed men are just the best <3 That’s not to say there aren’t also some attractive men with light eyes (points to Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, Conrad Veidt, J o n a t h a n  J o e s t a r). 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My smiley backpack! I just started really using it about a year ago, but I got it when I was like 3. so it’s around 19 years old. I actually just ripped one of the straps out partially last night, and I gotta sew it (thanks for the reminder!). It’s about a foot in diameter, and it’s just a giant yellow circle with a simple black smile and eyes and two straps. 22: are you a morning person? If by morning person you mean I stay up all night and am awake still when morning comes. Though I was up from Thursday evening to last night with no sleep, so I slept all last night and have been up since 6:30 this morning. 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Well since I’m pathetic and I don’t have a job and the Kent State University won’t let me have Financial Aid (due to dropping my classes last semester because of HEALTH ISSUES, wtf), every day is like that. I hate it, actually. I do nothing but sleep. I stare at my computer for hours, scroll tumblr and Facebook, get out drawing supplies and then stare at the paper and cry, lay in bed and cry, cry and cry ;u; 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My boyfriend, Mr. Alexander Tortorella. He’s been one of my best friends since 2010, and my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Also my two closest friends, Taylor, who I’ve been best buds with for over ten years (we even got tattoos together) and my friend Ryanne who I mentioned before (the one with all the problems like me lol). 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where, I’ve never broken into anyplace. Other than my car once because I locked the keys in it lol. 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I actually have these flat slip on clogs that have like a brown sweater fabric that I got in 2006. I wear them pretty much all fall/winter if I’m just running to the store or to someone’s house. If there’s no snow, of course lol. I also have Converse I got in 2007 that have the British flag on them, and The Who’s logo on the tongue. there’s smiley faces drawn on the rubber at the toe, and along the side banding one one of them are lyrics to “What a Catch Donnie” by Fall Out Boy.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I love regular bubblegum’s taste but it doesn’t last long enough to bother. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Uhh…? My friends aren’t really “cute” people hahahahaha. I mean Taylor has called me “Bobert” for years and that’s funny lol 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yeah this one time when I was little I floated too far on a raft in Lake Erie and thought I was gonna end up in dying lol. I mean compared to other things that have happened in my life that really isn’t anything too bad, but the fear I felt at the time was so immense. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks! Cool socks. I’ve got Marvel hero socks, whale socks, Star Wars socks, Sailor Moon socks, Winnie the Pooh sicks, sailboat socks, and funky pattern socks. I hate sleeping in socks though. I also have a collection of black dress socks from marching band haha 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I got naked and chased a friend down the street when I was 17. That was my one experience being drunk before I was 21 lol 33: what’s your fave pastry? Friggin Oreo Poptarts. They count. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Little Pooh! And Big Pooh! I have a like 2 and a half foot sitting Pooh Bear and a small one. I dragged them both everywhere when I was little. I still slept with the small one until I was like 16. But it’s so worn and falling apart, I needed to switch to a larger version to cuddle lol. Now I just kinda cuddle whatever teddy bear or stuffed animal I grab haha 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, but I don’t really have them. I do have some super cool Norman Rockwell notecards. And I have rainbow pens I use to color coordinate notes. I’’l freaking rip a page out and re-write everything if i mess up. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Well I’m currently listening to “Fly” by Sugar Ray and I’d say that’s doin’ it pretty well :D 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Yeah so have you seen a tornado’s aftermath? 38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who chew their nails (Glares at Alex, even though he’s not here). Girls who talk all hood, and act dumb for attention, then get offended when you don’t take them seriously.  39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I wear a ring everyday, I only take it off to shower. Alex has one too. They’re silver bands, and they have the coordinates to our high school engraved in them (that’s where we met). One has the latitude, one the longitude. Inside mine it says “Alex”, his says “Robyn”. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? White Oleander by Janet Fitch. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I just like Starbucks. I’m a white girl. Sue me. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Alex 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? əʇndɯoɔ ʇou səop 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Oh, no. I overthink everything 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I can’t just do this on the spot!!! The other day a friend asked if I was going into the medical field, because I was really nursing my beer lol 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BEANS. All beans. Fuck beans. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yep, spiders. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought I think was Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance. I’ve had every word of it memorized for like 10 years, but I never actually owned a hard copy. The last record I bought was probably Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin. *note; as I was moving on to the next question, the song “Houses of the Holy” came on my iTunes o.O (though let it be noted as well that the song “Houses of the Holy” is actually on the album “Physical Graffiti). 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Souls. And old empty bottles. Like empty pop bottles. Not so much anymore, but I have a ton of them in my room that I use as decoration 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Pretty much anything from Def Leppard’s Pyromania or Van Halen’s 1984 reminds me of my dad because those are his favorite albums (and 2 of mine) 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I mean the salt guy is funny? I’ve really been slacking in the dank meme area lately. I am truly ashamed. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have only seen Beetlejuice of those (I knowwww), and I like it, but the heavy late 80′s asthetic creeps me out a bit. Not the stuff that’s supposed to be creepy, but all the black and white checkerboard and stripes, bright colors, and things like that lol 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog, because I wouldn’t let her have her bone back (it was bed time!) 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? We don’t need to discuss that. Once again; I have BPD. That should tell you plenty. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being an asshole. That’s about it. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I mean I do sometimes, other times I just listen and enjoy it. My friend Nick did a project for school (he’s a music production major) where he mixed the original tracks differently, and he made the bass and snare more prevalent and now the original sounds empty to me hahaha 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Lol what??? I mean I drink wine more than anything, but I probably drink more vodka than anyone else too lol. Most of them just smoke that reefer to be honest. Alex and I don’t, he doesn’t drink either. And I rarely drink vodka. But no one else ever does lol 59: what’s your favorite myth? The brown sound lol. The idea that there is a decibel so low that if you hear it, you’ll poop yourself! They proved it to be false on Mythbusters, though. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I used to write poetry a lot. I actually was published in a national anthology of selected student poets in 9th grade. I have trouble being creative anymore, though. I like Thoreau and Walt Whitman. We studied them in 11th grade. 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never really given a gag gift. Though one time I wrapped a robe I got my sister in a series of boxes and duct tape just to mess with her :D I wouldn’t say I’ve ever received anything “stupid”. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope. I like apple juice, though. Orange juice makes me sick. Acid reflux issues. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? OOOOHHHHHH Gotta be in alphabetical order. Though currently my books are strewn across my floor, mixed in with clothes, my Sailor Moon VHS collection, shoes, makeup, blah blah blah 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Really light grey. Ohio is bland and gross. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My friend Taylor. she doesn’t live very close so I don’t ever see her anymore :’( 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? I have a few I made over the summer. My favorite is just a bunch of daisies. I love daisies <3 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Lol indifferent. That’s what today looks like, and pretty much everyday around here. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Well when I was younger, it was snowy and bright and fun. Now it barely snows, and it’s always gloomy and muddy and gross. My basement flooded a couple days ago because it rained so hard.  69: what are your favorite board games? MONOPOLYYYY. I got a Dogopoly for Christmas hehe. I like Sorry and Clue a lot too. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Green tea, and the youthberry/ wild orangeblosson tea from Teavanna 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah pretty much. And I still always tell myself I won’t forget shit, and then I do. 73: what are some of your worst habits? Smoking cigarettes, sleeping too much, drinking pop instead of water, picking my nose lol. I’m twitchy and fidgety but that’s just the OCD and ADHD. 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Uhhhhhhhhh “Big fat faggot”. (that’s actually how he would describe himself, he likes going up to people and saying “I’m REALLY gay”) 75: tell us about your pets! I have my darling baby Mae Mae, she’s around 9(??) she’a a black mutt that looks like a bear/wolf lol. I got her from the Humane Society. Then there’s Bellatrix, who my mom got from the HS. She’s a brindle boxer, almost 4 years old. We have a 7 month old kitten named Hosta. My mom found her in the hosta bushes outside this summer, so we named her after the flowers lol. We also have a guinea pig, of my sister’s, named Alfie. He’s about 2? 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I could use a shower. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink <3

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I thought they were cute in Despicable Me, but it’s gotten way out of hand. 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Alex once bought me ice cream and flowers and made a sign that said “sorry for being a douche”. I don’t even remember what he did wrong, it was cute :3 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Well a few months before we moved in, I painted them purple. Then I decided that was boring like a couple weeks before we moved, and I got tihs cool 70s-looking (or even 30s really) floral wallpaper with like gold and pewter flowers and I put it on two walls. I painted the one wall orange, the tiny bit around the closet sage green, and the area around the door with chalkboard paint. Then I got mad one day about a year later and went and bought light green and covered the orange. I still don’t really know why lol. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Dude what? I don’t stare at anyone’s eyes?  82: are/were you good in school? HAHAHAHHA. I got suspended for mooning someone. That’s all you need to know. 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Queen’s News of the World has a sweet cover. Def Leppard’s High N’ Dry, Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” single, of course. Green Day’s Dookie, Dio’s Holy Diver. There are aa TON but you know. I’m getting sick of typing lol 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’m planning on getting a lot lol. Currently a Ginger Rogers close-up on my forearm. I have a Pooh sketch on my side, “You’re braver than you believe” (Pooh quote) written in my friend’s handwriting on my right shoulder, and “There’s still time to change the road you’re on” on my right foot (”Stairways to Heaven” lyrics). 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Marvel, Infinity Gauntlet is my favorite. (not including manga because I’m ready to be done with this lol) 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah, they’re cool! Currently I’ve been listening to To Pimp a Butterfly a lot, actually. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Star Wars (original 3), Back to the Future, A Clockwork Orange, Metropolis 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? A R T  D E C O, art nouveau 89: are you close to your parents? My mother. I don’t talk to my father much. He was abusive to me, he’s an alcoholic. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t really have any? I don’t live cities very much. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to North Carolina for a wedding, that’s about all I can think of. Probably going camping. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE ME BABY 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well I’m mostly just at home doing nothing so it’s just kinda down and pushed back out of my face. But when I go somewhere it’s usually something pinup-y or 2 buns on top of my head. 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Taylor’s was December 29. But mine is Tuesday! :DDD 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Alex has a show tonight, so there’s that. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ”Remind me tomorrow” 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Don’t know, I’ve never taken one of those tests. I’ve started to, but I can’t really answer the questions right. My answer can go either way, my mood is always changing. I don’t believe it’s easy to pin down a BPD patient’s type. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m not really into Harry Potter. My IQ is pretty high though, lol. I’m proud of that. It’s the one thing I have haha. 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember, but I know I whined the entire time because I’m out of shape lol 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Uhhhh. My brain isn’t functioning at a very deep emotional level right now lol I can’t think of any? I guess “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood, it reminds me of my father.  100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. I don’t want to change the way things are now. Sure, I’d love to tell myself “Don’t gain twice your body weight” and “don’t drop our of high school or college” but like, Butterfly Effect. I know somehow that would make it so I never reconnect with Alex, or I end up dating someone I wasn’t happy with, or what if somehow I got in a car wreck and died as a result of something stupid? And I don’t want to see the future. What happens happens and I don’t want to live in anticipation.

Feel free to talk to me about any of this stuff! I welcome friends, I’m lonely haha

[ismokeitsite]

i ate some funky edibles and i think they transported me to another fucking dimension

i ate some funky edibles and i think they transported me to another fucking dimension

1. the worms

something real fuckin weird happened to me a few days ago. a lot of you aren’t going to believe it, but i've got photo evidence to back up my story, so i'm just gonna start from the beginning.

last friday, i got home from work and decided to eat some edibles, some wormy-looking gummies. i'd gotten em from one of my work mates and he told me to only eat a couple. "these are some dank little lads," he kept saying. but i'd had a stressful day so i snarfed down three of them bastards. i turned on some music and plopped onto the couch with my laptop to do some brain-dead web browsing.

right as I sat down, my phone buzzed, and when i picked it up i noticed something was wrong with my home screen. a few of the apps looked like they were somehow... torn? like right down the middle. and in the spot where i usually keep my google maps app, there was just a blank space. as far as i know you can't intentionally leave spaces in between apps on the ios home screen, so i actually took a screenshot of it.

https://i.imgur.com/AG8v087.png

i started messing around with the "torn" apps to see if there were any other funky issues with them. none popped up, so i exited the app and then decided to tap the empty spot where my maps app normally goes.

my phone didn't react to the touch, but a moment later i noticed the song playing on my spotify playlist had changed. it sounded like "band on the run" by wings, but somehow distorted, sped up, with extra instruments backing the track. it was a fuckin banger of a remix so i sat there singin along to it while clicking around between different websites. bein a bit of a news junkie, i typed in theatlantic.com

this is what i saw.

https://i.imgur.com/MXtz3vK.jpg

i sat there thinking... president jobs? at first i figured the atlantic had a new nickname for trump, what with him always goin on about adding jobs to the economy. but then i noticed the little photo of steve jobs in the top right corner.

that's when i decided to do a google search.

https://i.imgur.com/a9xIgIL.jpg

at this point, i started actually freaking out. i went back and took photos of the tabs i'd already opened.

i opened a hundred news stories, wiki pages, reddit threads, youtube videos. they all told the same story.

either i was completely tripping balls, or steve jobs didn't die in 2011. he got treatment for his cancer early enough to stop it. after he got better, he left apple and started getting more involved in politics. he ran against clinton and sanders in the democratic presidential primaries, and won. he then ran against donald trump in the general election, and beat him by just a few electoral college votes. steve fucking jobs was now the 45th president of the united states.

on youtube, i did a quick search for "steve jobs donald trump debate." a video from nbc’s youtube channel appeared.

so i watched it. all 99 minutes of it.

2. the debate

trumpets blared as images of steve jobs (older looking, yes, and now sort of fat) and donald trump flashed across the screen. jobs tinted blue, trump in red.

hands shaking, i snapped the picture below:

https://i.imgur.com/KrDuctC.jpg

the feed cut to lester holt, seated at a bigass desk directly in front of the stage. as he explained the rules of the debate, the camera panned to reveal the scene. sure enough, there jobs was at stage-left, slightly hunched, his fist at his chin, eyes downcast. across from him, trump stood statue-still, gripping the edges of his lectern tightly. trump glared over at jobs looking like he wanted to say something to his opponent. jobs didn't seem to be aware of him. he was lost in his own thoughts.

lester invited the candidates to give their opening statements.

jobs went first. to be honest, he sounded like a republican to me. he talked about the need for deregulation of business and growing threats from the chinese. he called for a new “space race,” this time in the realm of artificial intelligence. as he spoke, he began pacing rapidly.

“the people of the world don’t know what they want,” jobs said. “the world needs leadership, for someone to show the right way forward. so america has a choice. we can waste our energy on vain attempts to return to the year 1950, or we can take responsibility for designing the world of 2050.”

trump’s opening statement was exactly as i remembered it from when i watched him debate hillary clinton live two years ago. he spoke about america’s crumbling infrastructure, its bad trade deals, its wasteful wars. he vowed to Make America Great Again. wrapping up, he declared himself to be “the law and order candidate," and "the candidate who will defend family values.” after pausing to let that line sink in, he said, “i know how important it is for fathers to stick around and raise their children.”

i thought that was a pretty nasty angle. pretty much everybody knows that jobs’s birth parents gave him up for adoption, and that jobs himself had rarely been there for his daughter, lisa.

“mister jobs, you get the first response,” lester said.

jobs stepped forward, glaring at trump. in a quiet voice, he spoke:

“you want to talk about fatherhood?” he said. “my birth father gave me nothing.” jobs spat the words.

“you, though. you would be nothing without your father.”

then jobs strode, long arcing steps, across the stage, stopping near some imaginary dividing line in the middle, a finger aimed directly at trump.

“you claim your father only ever gave you ‘a small loan of a million dollars,’ but anyone who looks would find that your father gave you hundreds of millions. he gave you everything you claim as your own.”

trump took a step forward, wagging his own finger, his lips curled into that O shape that looks like a puckered arsehole. “not true,” he said.

at this, jobs nearly sprinted across the stage toward trump, arms in the air like an animal about to attack. a woman in the audience let out an involuntary “oh!” and trump himself visibly recoiled as jobs got in his face, now almost screaming:

“everything in your entire life, your name, your gaudy, golden homes, your many wives, all of whom you cheat on, all of things in your life that you cherish, you’d have none of it if it wasn’t for fred trump!”

the crowd started getting rowdy at this, and lester tried to cut in. he got out “mister jobs–“ before jobs spun on his heel, marching toward lester’s desk.

“i’m standing next to this man on stage, and we’re supposed to be equals?” he yelled. slowly, he leaned in toward lester and the cameras. in this fucking chilling tone, he said, “we are not equals.”

lester leaned back in his chair, his mouth open, but no sound coming out. jobs straightened up, gliding back to the middle of the stage. he held his hands out to trump, like a man offering a gift.

“i am ten times the businessman you are,” he said, his voice now totally calm. “you don’t deserve to be here, on this stage. you are nothing but a cheap clown in a wig. now why don't you stop pretending you’re something you’re not, and crawl back to that tower you bought using your daddy’s money.”

lester tried to regain control of the crowd, but they were in total anarchy.

for the first time since i’d started watching this video, i became aware of my own hands. i reached for the mouse and clicked on the timeline to re-watch the final lines of jobs’s diatribe and the crowd’s reaction. in the individual voices of the crowd’s roar, i could hear what sounded like every human expression: outbursts of anger, shouts of laughter, cries of something like fear. some object -- a red hat? -- was thrown toward the stage, and a brief struggle ensued as secret service agents escorted the tosser from the room.

finally, lester regained control of the room by repeatedly shouting “MISTER TRUMP, HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?”

trump used his time to protest, accusing jobs of being “very, very unfair.” he then tried his own line of attack, referencing jobs’s well-known drug usage (“is that really the kind of person you want for a president?”) but jobs declined to use his allotted time for a response when lester gave him the opportunity.

the debate proceeded like this for the rest of the night. although trump responded animatedly to each of jobs’s points, jobs refused to address trump directly. when not speaking in response to one of lester's policy questions, jobs seemed to almost disappear into the shadows in his corner of the stage. even as trump increased his attacks, at one point again bringing up jobs's failures as a father, jobs seemed almost not to hear him.

the one exception came later in the evening, when trump made a passing reference to his own christian faith. jobs audibly scoffed and muttered “yeah, right,” just loud enough for the crowd could hear.

trump stopped short. “excuse me?” he said, eyes wide.

jobs looked up, his face open and earnest.

“you’re a fraud, and everyone knows it,” he said.

he held trump’s gaze for a moment, then relaxed back into his default pose, head on fist, disengaged.

trump looked shocked. he stammered something -- “unbelievable, this guy” -- then tried to return to the point he’d been making.

about at this moment, i noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

my phone's screen had lit up, but was totally black.

the white apple logo appeared in the center of the screen. the phone had reset on its own. a moment passed, and the lock screen appeared. i was dimly aware of trump's voice suddenly cutting off, and i looked up at the screen. to my shock, i saw donald trump standing on stage with hillary clinton. they shook hands and stood side by side, waving to the crowd as lester holt delivered his closing remarks about the debate.

more confused now than ever, i scrubbed back in the video to earlier in the debate, and there the two of them were: hillary in a bright red pantsuit, trump in the same suit he always wears. the video now had a different title: "The First Presidential Debate: Hillary Clinton And Donald Trump (Full Debate) | NBC News"

3. the photos

all of this happened about a week ago. in the time since, i've basically been in a state of shock. i haven't been able to go to work, or really move much from my couch. for a few hours after my phone reset, i convinced myself that i'd just gotten too fucking stoned and made the whole thing up in my head

then i checked the photos app on my phone.

for a whole week, i've been back in the reality where steve jobs is dead, and donald trump is president, but still those photos i took remain on my phone.

i've uploaded the photos to imgur and shared my story here in part because i still don't fucking believe it and i need more eyes on the evidence.

i think those fucking gummy worms briefly transported me to a parallel dimension.

Submitted October 07, 2018 at 04:27PM by SubredditStories via reddit

[uncompute]

Greetings From Tucson

Spoiler Alert: We almost moved here we loved it so much. However, it did not begin as a love affair. Our first day we arrived late at night after our Palm Springs fiasco, tired and ready for rest. We stayed at a place where the AirBnB hosts own a home and have a small studio and larger casita all in one lot. The hosts were absolutely amazing and we were excited to openly share we had a dog again. We woke up the next morning and headed to the Starbucks that was two tenths of a mile from our house, a very dangerous thing, and decided to go for a walk to scope out the new hood.

Of course, Dexter’s gentle leader had gotten destroyed by our visits to the ocean and was now chaffing against his nose so badly that it had started to crack and bleed. With no other options, we took him for a walk using just his dog collar. In case you didn’t know already, Dexter is 75 lbs and horrible on a leash. So this got things started off RIGHT. I went in to Starbucks to receive our life blood and messed up the order, making enemies at the one place I so desperately needed people to like me. After multiple apologies, I ran out, we checked out a few places on google maps, and were on our way.

The Starbucks was located at a busy intersection- think 4 lanes going in 4 different directions, with an abandoned lot and a Safeway on the opposite corners. We figured things would calm down once we got walking and proceeded to end up in a sketchy alley where people deliberately almost ran us over with their cars. We found a place we had researched- a cute cafe people recommended. When we arrived, there were no people and bars on the windows. We started to feel a little discouraged. Would this be Santa Barbara, part two? We continued on our walk to find a brewery in a closed shopping center. The streets we were on were desolate and empty. We walked back to our place despondently, finding a dead pigeon that some kids had put a crown around at the entrance to our place. I freaked out. What was this place? What kind of omen was this? Why were we in Tucson? 

(Just kidding, it wasn’t that bad. We didn’t find the dead pigeon until weeks later.)

Determined not to repeat last month’s adventures, we caffeinated and re-grouped. We knew we needed to check out other areas, despite the (once again) record weather- upper 90 degree temperatures at 9 a.m. in March. We hopped on our bikes and headed down to 4th street, where our fears were calmed. We found a bustling, funky, college town rich with diversity and cool spots. We ended up spending our first Friday night (coincidentally St. Patrick’s Day) at The Shanty- the oldest bar in Arizona (a typical college bar) and Dave got a $50 haircut. History would not repeat itself. We were pumped. Here’s what we found the rest of our time there:

St. Paddy’s Day 

Hikes:

So we actually didn’t do as much hiking as we had hoped- I think due to the heat and the fact that we found ourselves outside getting our fix in the mornings when it was particularly nice. Side note: Dave and I are obsessed with figuring out how many days of sunshine each city gets on average because we come from Cleveland where the sun don’t shine. When we first arrived, we asked a few people how many days of sun Tucson gets and they looked at us confused. “It shines every day” they would say. “That’s not a thing here.”

Rillito River Path: This is a paved path that runs along both sides of the Rillito river. Dave and I were very confused by the fact that there is no actual water in the river. Even now, I like to look at Google maps and see the river, labeled in blue, looking like a river, and wonder at the mystery of it all.

Saguaro National Park: I’m not joking when I say that it was super hot every day while we were in Tucson, so oftentimes we skipped out on hikes later in the day because it wouldn’t be fun. We had been wanting to visit Saguaro National Park for some time but could never get it together to get out there before the heat hit and are limited in National Parks due to having a dog. On Easter, we opted to do the scenic drive, which did not disappoint.

Sabino Canyon Seven Falls: This hike we decided to do despite the heat because there was a rumor that there was actual water at the end. After getting lost on the trail a few times, we finally made it to the Seven Falls. It’s a gorgeous waterfall that fills a few small pools you are welcome to jump in. Dave went for it despite it being snowmelt and being March and also because he secretly had to pee. Secret’s out.

Dave getting ready to pee

Dave secretly peeing while an older couple watched and talked to him 

Mount Lemmon: Lo and behold, the hidden gem (or not really hidden, it’s a giant mountain) of Tucson. A real mountain that you can drive to the top of. The drive up is gorgeous and we hit it right around the time of a big bloom of wildflowers. At a certain point, you reach an elevation where the cacti disappear and pine trees and grass burst out of nowhere. It continues to baffle me and Dave that there are two completely different climates and respective landscapes less than thirty minutes from one another. Another magical thing about Mt. Lemmon: the Cookie Cabin, a place where you can get cookies the size of your face. We went twice. Oh also, there are lots of hikes on the mountain. But also cookies. Giant cookies.

Just looking at that cookie makes me want to drive back. 

Drinks:

Cafe Pase: Yummy food and good coffee.  

Savaya Coffee: That’s where Dave learned about a science coffee drip. I don't know what that is but it sounds expensive.

Crave coffee: Awesome work space says Dave.

Cartel Coffee: The best iced coffee around. Seriously so good and after a trip to Phoenix last spring this was a determining factor in our coming to Tucson. I should note I didn’t go once while we were there. 

Public Brewery: Great little brewery in a super cool old barn/warehouse. We went every Monday for trivia, reviving our “Bazooka Joe” team from Bend. Not only did we not lose once, we actually came in 9th out of 15 teams one time! The staff here were amazing- sometimes sneaking hints for us. Also, we met a fellow traveler here who ended up going on one of those ships thats on “Whale Wars” and saves whales from being hunted. We spoke to him a couple of times and on our last night there, Dave, confused, asked him “How’s the whale hunting going?” Now we can never show our face here again.

I should also note that after a few brews we visited the Tucson Taco Shop (lovingly nicknamed “The Littlest Taco Shop,” by us), a local taco-bell-esque shop open 24 hours. The woman knew my order by the last week.

Edit: Dave just informed me that it clearly states this place was called “The Taco Shop Company,” an oversight on my part. For the record, I will continue to ignore this information.

Borderlands Brewery: Good beer in an old warehouse right (sensing a theme here) with live music on Sundays.  

Dragoon Brewery: The best beers of all in Tucson in an… old… warehouse.

Food:

Marco’s Pizza: THEY HAVE ONE OF THESE IN TUCSON. We put our lactose intolerance aside to eat like we were in Ohio.

Walking to Marcos

1702: We put our lactose intolerance aside to.. eat pizza again. They had Hop Cheesy Bread- cheesy bread with actual hops on top. I pretended I liked it in front of Dave (who argued from the start it was an experiment gone wrong) but honestly it tasted weird.

China Pasta House: Authentic chinese dumpings. SO GOOD but also made my tummy hurt.

Prep and Pastry: A trendy brunch place with some of the best mimosas I’ve ever had, including one made with prickly pear cactus juice that looked like something a ninja turtle would drink.

Chipotle: A local taco/burrito shop. Very rare.  

Seis: A walk-up gourmet taco shop in an outdoor mercado downtown. It was so good I went once with my Mom and her cousin Diane and then went back two days later. The tacos are amazing and the outdoor space makes you feel like you are eating them in Europe.

BOUT TO EAT THOSE TACOS 

Street Tacos: An actual place with some really good tacos. I should mention Tucson prides itself on having the best 23 miles of tacos in the nation. They did not disappoint.

Spots/Things to Do:

Metal Arts District: One of our favorite places to hang. We stopped by the Tucson Hop Shop several times, a bar with several beers on draft and lots of drinks in a cooler. They had a gorgeous outdoor space and Etch-A-Sketches at each table. I also went to yoga at an art studio here and it was delightful.

Botanical Gardens: My mom came into town for a weekend and we spent an afternoon checking out an exhibit on Frida Khalo. It was gorgeous and especially helpful for two people who have no idea what the difference between all the cacti in the region is.

The Rock: A grungy concert venue right down the street from our place. Dave won free tickets to see a band called Chon. I acted like an old person.

Goodyear, AZ: When in Arizona in the spring, you gotta catch an Indian’s game! They crushed the Cincinnati Reds and we knocked something off our bucket list.

Cyclovia: An event that occurs twice a year where a huge section of downtown is blocked off to all car traffic and open to bikers and pedestrians. It was Dave’s dream come true, especially after he had a Sonoran dog from El Guero Canelo. A sonoran dog is a hot dog wrapped in bacon. 

D&D Pinball: A pinball emporium. Dave.

Marana: We had dinner with my Mom’s cousin who lives in this city, a little north of Tucson. It is right near the foothills of the mountains and simply gorgeous.

Cousin Diane’s very impressive dessert 

Phoenix: Dave went up to Phoenix for a few days for a work conference and somehow ended up booking the penthouse suite of an apartment building.

The view from Dave’s room. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. 

His rooftop pool. 

Star Gazing at Mt. Lemmon: We bought tickets to star-gaze with my Mom on top of Mt. Lemmon using some of the most advanced telescopes in some of the best skies in the country. We learned all about how the telescopes work, had dinner and watched a delightful sunset, and then were evacuated from the mountain due to a wildfire a mile and a half away.

What a beautiful sunset... can’t wait to see the stars

JK Mountain’s on fire.