#the tagging system is being really weird so i hope they fix that

[the-boy-meets-evil]

on second thought | jww

(where your roommate, wonwoo, has an interesting solution to all your bad dates. nothing can go wrong with two friends crossing a line, can it?)

pairing: wonwoo x f.reader genre: roommates/friends to fwb to?? | smut, tiny bit of angst if you squint rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni word count: 6.5k warnings: there's some plot here but it's mostly smut, multiple sex scenes (some quickly referenced), roommates who enter a fwb agreement, kissing, fingering, oral (f. receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms, use of actual lube, some scratching, after care, mentions: masturbation, kitchen sex, teasing, overstimulation, edging, i think that's it.

authors note: happy birthday to my bby @wongyuseokie! i'm thankful to have met you through nets. i hope you like some wonwoo to celebrate. thank you to @wonwussy for helping me with a title, you're a savior. this is unedited because i only started it yesterday so sorry in advance. also tagging: @aaniag @gyuminusone

Another disappointing date. Another man who couldn’t even seem to let you finish a sentence. Was so intent on proving how well he could provide for you that he forgot to treat you like a person. So intent on establishing his dominance that he tried to order for you at the overpriced restaurant with too-small portions. So irritated that he paid for your dinner and drinks only for you to leave separately from him and refuse his offer to drive you home. There was no way you were letting that man know where you lived. Is it really asking too much just to have a decent date? You aren’t going to let anyone try to tell you that your standards are too high. You’re really just asking for the bare minimum. 

That’s why you’re sitting on the counter in the kitchen of your shared apartment, spilling your guts to your sympathetic roommate. His hair is messy, sticking up at odd angles in some places because he’s been playing video games for hours. Probably streaming at some point. You admire that he’s able to do something he loves to fill up most of his days. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and you try not to find it so endearing. But, you fail at that. He really is impossibly cute sometimes.

“Do you want a bite of this?” you ask instead, holding out the instant ramen you made as soon as you got home. 

“No, I ate earlier,” he answers. 

“An actual meal or a Wonwoo meal?” you challenge and he rolls his eyes.

“I ate real food. Go back to bitching about your date,” Wonwoo says. 

“I don’t know, maybe I was being too harsh,” you say. 

“He sounds like a fucking nightmare,” he disagrees. 

“Ugh, maybe I just need to redownload one of those apps,” you whine. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at you. “Don’t look at me like that. I hate fucking on the first date, but I’m so pent up that I need to release it somehow. I’m going insane.” 

This makes him laugh, at least. It releases a little bit of the tension, too. You’ve lived with Wonwoo nearly three years and were friends for years before that. Nothing is secret between the two of you. Not anymore. The first time you realized he caught you getting off in your room because you didn’t think he was home was mortifying. Even if he didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. After you got over it, things settled. And in the time since, you’ve both heard the other doing a lot of things. Some of your friends think it’s weird, but you just chalk it up to the comfort of living with someone. After all, you would tell your female friends all about your sex life. Why was that weird to share with Wonwoo? 

“Toys not doing it for you?” he throws out. You only fix him with a glare. It’s more proof that you’re entirely too comfortable.

“Our walls are thin, what do you think?” you answer. 

Wonwoo snorts a little before seeming to consider something. “Why don’t we just fuck? Get it out of your system.” 

The sip of water you’re taking when he suggests that comes bursting out of your mouth. A real life spit take. Thankfully, he’s out of the blast zone. He looks unamused at water coming out of your mouth, but he doesn’t look like he was kidding. It can be so hard to tell with him. You think that you know his face well after all these years. But, you never thought you’d hear that coming out of his mouth, so you’re not sure. 

“Please give me some indication if that was a joke or not,” you say.

“It wasn’t a joke,” he says.

“Pretty clear indicator,” you mumble. 

“Is it that crazy? You think I’m hot…” Wonwoo starts. If you were still drinking, you’d spit out your water again.

“Uh, what?” you ask.

“You think I’m hot. Hao told me,” he says as if it’s no big deal. You’re mentally running through what the appropriate payback is for this breach of trust. “It’s fine. He told me because I was saying I also think you’re hot.” 

“I mean, thanks,” you laugh, still considering how you’re going to torture Minghao. “But, we can’t have sex.” 

“Why not?” Wonwoo presses. 

“Because we’re roommates?” you ask like it’s obvious. 

“So I can hear you fuck yourself with a toy or hear you fake an orgasm with another bad date, but us fucking each other is the line?” Wonwoo asks. 

“I don’t fake that many orgasms,” you scoff to buy time.

“Yes, you do,” he argues. “I can hear the difference. And I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be faking it with me.” 

There’s a little bit of cockiness in the statement that shouldn’t be doing anything for you. But, it is. There’s also the very real possibility that Wonwoo does know the difference in the sounds you make. It’s not like you’ve bothered being that quiet since the first conversation where he heard you. What’s the point? The walls are pretty thin and you’re both adults. It’s not like you’re going to kick him out every time you bring a date home. And you’re definitely not going to only get off in the shower because it drives up the water bill. 

Beyond any of it, there’s also a little curiosity. Wonwoo is insanely attractive. Someone would have to be blind to miss that. He’s got that whole nerdy thing going on for him on initial inspection with the glasses and gaming. Or there’s the fact that he’s content to just hang out around the house, even with company over, wearing his pimple patches. But then, there’s this whole other side to him. It comes out when you’re both out with friends and he leaves the glasses behind. Swapping out graphic tees or hoodies for form fitting clothing and leather jackets. Casually leaning against a bar and whispering honey into some nameless, faceless stranger’s ear. 

And that leads you to the reason you’re actually curious. Sure, he’s heard you having sex with people you’ve been dating or just someone you brought home for the night. But, you’ve heard him too. If any of your orgasms sound faked, the ones he coaxes from the pretty girls in his bed sound anything but. There’s nearly always an incoherent string of praises. That thought alone has you considering his proposition. It has you shifting a little on the counter.

“Let’s pretend for a second that I’m considering this,” you start and he smiles. 

“Pretend, sure,” he echoes. 

“We’d need ground rules, right? Like we don’t want this to get awkward,” you say.

“It’s not gonna be awkward. But, we can set whatever makes you feel comfortable,” he says nonchalantly. 

A very strong, very hard to ignore voice in the back of your head argues against setting rules at all. Actually urges you to just drag him into your bedroom. Or his bedroom? Maybe you do need some ground rules. 

So, you talk. You don’t say that it’s only going to happen once because you never know what needs might pop up. The most important thing that you agree to is that nothing can change between the two of you. If either of you feels like it’s going to, then you have to talk about it because preserving the friendship is most important. It doesn’t matter what bed you have sex in as long as the other helps clean anything up. You’re not planning on this being a regular thing, so you don’t need to negotiate any kinks or anything like that. If it does become more of a thing, then you can revisit the kinks. There won’t be any weirdness about dating or talking to other people. This is just a solution between two friends that are both going through dating dry spells. 

Once the rules are set out, Wonwoo brings you into his room. Even though you’ve been in here more times than you could ever count, it feels different now. He tells you to make yourself comfortable on his bed. When he turns around to take his shirt off and toss it aside, your eyes map out his back. And, yeah, you’ve seen Wonwoo shirtless before, but never given yourself permission to so openly appreciate his body. His shoulders are impossibly wide and he’s in deceptively good shape for someone that hides under baggier clothes. 

“Should I take a picture for you?” he asks. It’s only then that you realize that he’s facing you. 

“Funny,” you say with an eye roll. 

Wonwoo crosses the space to his bed and settles next to you. The way he reaches out to pull your face into his own is so smooth. His lips are on yours before your brain has a chance to catch up. You gasp a little and pull back.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Uh, didn’t we just go over this?” he asks.

“No, I mean, we’re kissing?” you ask.

“What am I supposed to do, sweetheart, just get right down to fucking you without foreplay?” he asks.

You feel a little stupid for asking that because of course you don’t want to skip the foreplay. It’s just that you don’t want to force it, either. 

“Just let me take care of you,” Wonwoo says to keep you from overthinking anything. 

It’s not something that you expected to be doing. Giving up control to Wonwoo. But, it’s surprisingly easy when he starts kissing you again. Any thoughts that this might be weird fly right out of your head as soon as he deepens the kiss. Instead, your focus is on what a good kisser he is. The way his lips mold effortlessly to yours. The way his tongue licks into your mouth. The way his hands roam your body as if they’re trying to memorize every curve. 

You’re breathless by the time Wonwoo pulls back from you to pull your shirt over your head. When you changed after the date from hell, you hadn’t considered putting anything nice on. Hadn’t bothered to keep your bra on. What was the point when you were just going to be going to bed after having something to eat? Now, you’re wondering about that decision. Because your very hot roommate is drinking in the sight of you. It’s making you a little self-conscious, the way his eyes move over your body.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he utters. 

It’s a little too intimate for you to respond to. It doesn’t seem to matter, anyway. Wonwoo starts kissing down your neck and working his way to your breasts. He spreads his kisses between them, rolling your nipple between his fingers when his mouth is on your other breast. There’s something so consuming about the way he kisses your body, like he’s worshiping you. Like this is a lot more than roommates helping each other out. 

He works his way further down your body, kissing along your stomach, stopping at the waist band to your shorts. Thankfully, he doesn’t give you the chance to overthink here either before he pulls the shorts and underwear down your legs. Tosses them off to the side for good measure. You’re totally naked in front of someone you find you do actually trust. And someone that, yeah, maybe you’ve thought about fucking before. There was no reality where you thought it would happen, though. Even if it does make a lot of sense. Every part of you truly does feel safe with him. He knows you better than most people in your life. Which clearly translates to this part of you. 

Since you’re so comfortable, you’re finding it easier to not be embarrassed at the way he’s got you squirming under the barest touch. The way he ghosts his breath across your center makes you let out a whine. It’s unfair, the way that he wants to take his time like this. It’s also unfair that he’s the first person to ever make your mind go this blank during sex. Nothing exists to you outside of this moment and this man.

Wonwoo moves back to where you need him the most, blows gently against your center. The sensation sends a shiver down your body. You barely hear him mumble out a “so pretty” before he flattens his tongue and licks a stripe up your core. There’s just enough time to think this slow pace might actually be the death of you before he goes back in. Using his fingers to spread you apart, he starts tonguing your pussy. A mix of slow and deliberate movements with faster ones. His thumb circles your clit before his mouth moves up there to give it the attention it needs. 

With his mouth on your clit, he presses one finger into your pussy. You’ve never really thought much about his hands and now you’re wondering how you missed them. His long finger pumps in and out of you quickly. It seems that he’s reading your body and can tell that you don’t want something too slow. There’s so much pent up in you.

“Fuck, please, Wonwoo. I need another finger,” you whine. 

“Anything you want,” he mumbles into your pussy. 

He slides another finger inside of you and it makes you clench around him. That only seems to make him move faster. His mouth continues to work along with his fingers and your hands grip whatever they can reach. You’re a babbling mess and you suddenly understand what you overheard from Wonwoo’s room. There’s something so hot about knowing he’s this good with his mouth and his hands. It’s got you coming hard on his face. Harder than you can remember coming before. 

“That’s my girl,” he praises as soon as you’re coming down from your high. Your hazy brain doesn’t latch onto it the way it clearly should.

He presses a gentle kiss to your inner thing and then pulls himself up to lie next to you. His fingers trace patterns into your skin while he’s waiting for your breathing to come back to normal. 

“Jesus, I guess I know why I always heard so much praise through the wall,” you mutter. 

“None as pretty as the sounds you just made,” he says quietly. It’s so gentle, so intimate. There’s a lot of love between you and one of your closest friends, so you don’t dwell too much on it.

You turn your head to face him. His eyes are still dark with desire, fingers still keeping contact with your body. There’s like some kind of bubble around the two of you where nothing else exists. It’s a comfortable feeling, even in the quiet. Something pulls you in closer to him and you can feel his erection brush against your leg.

“Oh,” you say quietly. “You know, I’m still a bit pent up…”

“Are you sure?” he asks. 

“What? I’m gonna come on your face but we can’t actually fuck like we meant to?” you joke, a little braver than you feel. 

“This was about you, not about me,” he says simply. 

“It can be about both of us,” you say, hand running down his stomach. He tenses a bit under your touch and it’s unfair. He’s got perfect abs and you kind of hate it. Kind of hate that it’s so hot to you, too. 

You run your hand over the outline of his dick threw his shorts, enjoy the sharp intake of breath at the contact. It feels like a sign for you to keep going. But, he grabs your hand and pins it above your head. Kisses you hard and desperate. All of his restraint from before seems to be gone now. 

“Don’t play with me, sweetheart,” he warns. 

“Then show me how good you can fuck me. You were so sure earlier,” you press back. 

Wonwoo rolls over and pulls his shorts and boxers off. Casts them off to the side with your clothing. He reaches into his nightstand and pulls a condom out. He rolls back over to position himself between your legs. 

“One final time, are you sure?” he asks. It’s the first time since you came into his room that you’ve seen him look unsure.

“As long as you’re sure too, yes. I need this Nu, please,” you say, a little breathy with desire. 

“I love it when you call me that,” he admits. 

With your go ahead, he slides his tip along your entrance. You know you’re still wet from his hard work, but he still reaches into the dresser again. He pulls out some lube and runs it along his cock. Once he’s done that, he puts the cap back on and tosses it aside. He presses his tip against you again and this time slides in, slowly. Gives you a chance to adjust. 

You’re completely at Wonwoo’s mercy like this, with his arms on either side of you like he’s caging you in. Instead of wanting to get out, you can only think that you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Your hands find their way to his arms, gripping him tightly as he bottoms out in you. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he hisses. 

“Nu, fuck, please move,” you beg. 

“Give me a second, sweetheart, I’m trying to adjust so it doesn’t end too fast,” he says, voice so impossibly deep. 

“Please,” you beg again. 

“Fuck,” he whispers. 

It finally does get him to move though, barely pulling out at all and fucking slowly into you, so deep. He’s filling you up in the most perfect way. Your nails dig into his arms, but you can’t help it. He doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, it spurs him on. Makes him pull nearly all the way out of you before snapping hard into you again. He repositions one of your legs so that he can reach a different angle. With each hard thrust, his dick hits exactly where you need him to be. The rhythm is fast, which is really everything you need for how stressed you’ve been feeling. Each thrust uncoils more of the tension in your body. Each moan seems to spur him on more. 

When he leans down to kiss you, it’s messy. A clash of tongues and lips and teeth and need, so much need. Your hands find purchase anywhere on his body they can, even as his own arms seem to be a little shaky. So, you pull him down on top of you, bodies pressed tight as he continues fucking you. You’re still so sensitive from the first orgasm that you’re building up entirely too quickly. Even though you wanted it fast like this, you’re a little sorry to think it might be almost over. 

Wonwoo must feel that you’re close by the way you’re clenching around him and begging for him to give you everything. He pushes himself up a little, just creates the tiniest amount of space between your bodies, and you miss it a little. Miss the feeling of skin on skin. But, he’s only doing it so that he can circle your clit. He just wants to take care of all that tension. You give control over to him completely. Let him set the pace. An embarrassingly short time later, you’re coming for the second time. He removes his hand but still fucks you through the high. 

When your body stops shaking, you realize that he’s stilled inside you. He’s barely even moving as he looks down at you.

“It’s okay, Nu, I’m not that sensitive yet,”  you assure him

“Thank fuck,” he whispers. 

His pace is fast and you reach up to run your nails down his back. That seems to get him like nothing else does. When you do it a second time, he hisses out and you know he likes it. Each time your nails find a new part of his skin, his thrusts stutter. You clench your pussy around his cock and that’s all he can handle. He’s coming undone. 

You return the favor through his high, lightly keeping the rhythm going and helping him settle his weight on top of you. His breathing is still heavy when he meets your eyes and gives you the gentlest kiss. Slowly, he slides out of you and rolls over. The next second, he’s up to dispose of the condom. He disappears into the bathroom and returns with a wet washcloth a few moments later, sitting on the edge of the bed to help you.

“Well, I guess I learned one thing,” you say when he gets up to take the washcloth back to the bathroom.

“What’s that?” he calls over his shoulder.

“All that confidence was definitely warranted,” you say through a light laugh. 

You can just feel him rolling his eyes. “And here I thought you’d have less to say after a good fuck.” 

“Nope, chatty as ever. No more tension, though,” you say. 

“I’m glad,” he says, but it looks like he actually means it.

You move to get out of the bed and look at the sheets. Probably in need of a change. “Hey, do you wanna throw these in the hamper and just sleep in my bed tonight?” 

“Are you sure that doesn’t break any rules?” he asks.

“No, we’ve done it…are you teasing me?” Your question morphs in the middle when you catch sight of his face. He can be such a shit for someone who acts like he’s chill all the time. 

“I would never tease you,” he says, faux seriousness lacing his voice.

“That’s a shame, I like being teased,” you toss back.

“I’ll remember that for next time,” he shrugs.

“Next time?” you wonder.

“Just go get in your bed, I’ll be there in a minute,” he says. 

It wasn’t like you agreed for sex with Wonwoo to be a one time thing. That felt like putting too many rules in place. Still, you’re not expecting it to happen again quite so quickly. You also genuinely didn’t realize he was home when you pulled out your vibrator. But, he was home and he barged into your room without knocking, pulled you to the edge of your bed, and fucked you hard. Made you wonder why you’d ever even consider using your vibe in the first place. 

The next time comes after another failed date. It kind of seemed like that was the recipe. Something goes wrong or you’re pent up and he’s there to let you use him. Although, he’s really using you just as much. You like to let him be a little rough with you. There’s something satisfying in the way he doesn’t treat you like he’s going to break you. It’s unquestionably the best sex you’ve ever had, but that’s your business. You don’t need to share that with the class. You do figure that it might be time to talk about some kinks and boundaries, though. It would be good to be on the same page. 

That seems to be how it goes for a while, at least. It’s mostly you needing something, Wonwoo being able to sense that, and helping you out. It doesn’t seem to ever start from him being the one to need something. He doesn’t even seem to be going out and bringing people home so much anymore. Not that you’re keeping track, you just can’t remember the last time he did. Or maybe he’s trying to only bring someone home when you’re not around. 

He definitely holds true to his promise to tease you. One night, after a really long week at work with a lot of little things going wrong, he asks if he can take his time with you. In hindsight, you should have known it meant that it was going to mean teasing. But, you agreed anyway, and let him set the pace. Instead of hard and fast, he takes everything slow. He brings you right to the edge over and over again without letting you have your release. It’s insane how well he seems to read your signs. It seems like he can tell you’re close before you can. That night, it feels like it goes on for hours before he finally lets you come. It’s the biggest mess you’ve ever made. A fact that you would be embarrassed about if Wonwoo hadn’t looked so proud. Still, it feels like you’re the one always working something out.

Until it doesn’t.

One night, you come back from a night out with friends and are rummaging through the cabinets looking for a snack. This is the thing you hate about living with Wonwoo. He’s taller than you and doesn’t think twice about using the higher cabinets. You, on the other hand, can’t reach them so easily. You’re on your tiptoes trying to reach something when you feel him press into your back. His hand comes up and grabs the box you were reaching for with ease. You press further back into him when your heels hit the floor again.

“Fuck, you’re driving me crazy,” he mumbles into your hair. His hands find a place on your hips, holding you against him. This feels different from how every other time has started. 

“What do you mean?” you ask quietly into the silence of the apartment. 

He lets one hand slide down, quickly meeting the bare skin of your thigh. You know your skirt is a little shorter than normal, but the night seemed to call for it. “This. Did you go out hoping to bring someone home?” 

“Maybe,” you say, shivering a little at the way his breath tickles your ear. 

“Are you trying to tease me?” he asks. It comes across almost like a demand. 

You wiggle your ass against him a little before you answer. “I would never.” 

“Of course not,” he says. 

Everything that happens after that feels different. It’s never started like this. It’s been passionate, but it’s never been driven by so much raw desire. It’s never been the kind of sex where Wonwoo pushes your skirt up around your hips and pulls your underwear down to your ankles. Never been the kind of sex where he buries his face in your pussy while you grip the counter for support. Never been so desperate and needy and rushed. 

He makes you come twice on his tongue with your knees going so weak that you can barely stand before he even moves onto actually fucking you. You’re so weak by the time you finish that he has to help you to the bathroom to clean up before he tucks you into your bed. You’re so tired that you don’t even realize how intimate it is when you ask him to get into bed with you. 

The disappointment that sets in when you wake up to get some water in the early hours of the morning hits you hard. Entirely too hard for something that’s supposed to be free of feelings. Your bed feels a little empty without him taking up space. Which is really stupid because it’s not like that’s been something you’ve been doing all of the time. It’s not something you’re used to. But, there’s an unexpected comfort in him. Something that catches you completely off guard. As you drift back off to sleep, you resolve to deal with your feelings in the morning. 

That’s how you find yourself sitting on Minghao’s couch as he makes you both a cup of tea. He hasn’t asked about your roommate yet, but you know that it’s coming. He just wants to have everything he thinks you’ll need first. A few minutes later, he sets two cups of tea down next to the plate of snacks he threw together. If you weren’t in such a crisis, you’d have time to be envious over how pretty the presentation looked. 

“So things with Wonwoo have gotten awkward?” he asks without preamble. 

“Jesus, Hao, let me take a sip first, at least,” you groan. 

“I don’t want to say that I told you this was a bad idea…” he starts.

“You were the one who spilled the beans that I thought he was hot. This is your fault too,” you point out. 

“I told him that he wasn’t alone in thinking his roommate was hot. I didn’t tell you both to start fucking without realizing it was bound to blow up,” he says. 

“I know,” you sigh. 

“So, what’s going on?” he asks. 

Minghao is a lot of things. He can be a bit of an art snob. He’s that kind of impeccably dressed where he looks like he just stepped off a runway. He can appear a bit detached. But, he’s also one of the most thoughtful people you know. He’s complex and he cares for his friends more than he cares for himself most times. Both you and Wonwoo are among those he counts as his closest friends. So, he just listens as you lay out everything that’s happened since the first time you had sex. He doesn’t judge or interrupt. Patiently, he just waits as you get it all off your chest, including how you felt after last night. 

None of that really comes as a surprise. You know that he’s going to give you shit and be there for you at the same time. What does come as a surprise is what he says when you’re done laying out your issues.

“I haven’t wanted to set you up because I wasn’t sure you were in the right place for it, but I actually have a friend that I think you might hit it off with,” he says. “He’d definitely get you out of this whole Wonwoo funk you’re in so things can go back to normal.” 

“You wanna set me up?” you ask, surprised. 

“Yeah, I think it’d be good for you,” he says. 

“Okay, tell me about him,” you agree.

“He’s really kind. Kind of talks in a permanent pout, but it’s endearing somehow. He’s a giant softie at heart and he’s so incredibly loyal. He’s been talking about how he’s looking for something a little more serious. I think you’d like him,” Minghao says. 

“What’s his name, Hao?” you ask skeptically.

“Mingyu,” he answers and your eyes go wide.

“Mingyu? As in that hot model you’re friends with?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Minghao says evenly.

“Okay, you can see if he’s interested,” you agree.

It’s been a couple days since Minghao threw out the suggestion of setting you up with Mingyu. The two of you have exchanged a few messages and he does actually seem really nice. He’s also funnier than you expected him to be. When he asks if you want to get dinner the upcoming weekend, you find you’re a little bit excited. 

There’s only one issue. You feel like you need to tell Wonwoo. You know that he’s not going to care, but it still feels weird when you’ve been fucking around. Maybe Minghao was right and the whole thing was a terrible idea after all. It’s hard for you to tell him when you seem to keep missing each other, though. Lately, he’s been playing video games over at Vernon’s place more than normal. Even if they’re streaming, something feels weird. 

“Hey,” he calls out from the front door, snapping you from your thoughts. 

“Oh hey,” you answer, looking up at him. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he moves to head back to his room. “Everything okay?” 

He stops to look at you when you ask that question and his eyes still look a bit distant. “Yeah, fine. Why?” 

“I don’t know, you’re being short with me,” you say. 

He just shrugs. “I don’t have anything to say.” 

“Okay,” you say, drawing out the first syllable. “Well, I just wanted to tell you that Minghao set me up with his friend Mingyu and I was thinking I’d go out with him.” 

“You don’t have to tell me about your dates,” he says evenly.

“I just thought…” you start.

“We agreed,” he interjects. “Enjoy your date whenever you go.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly to his retreating figure. 

The whole point of agreeing to go out with Mingyu was to get things back to normal with Wonwoo. It was clear that you had gotten in over your head. Now, you’re wondering if things are going to be able to go back to normal at all. This isn’t your normal dynamic. You always shared stories about dates, hook-ups, anything and everything under the sun. Your other friends always said it was weird for the two of you and you just ignored them. Now, you feel like you’re in it alone. Maybe they’re right and it is weird.

Since it’s a little on the later side anyway, you decide to grab something from the kitchen and just head into your room. You can go to bed early and forget that whole conversation even happened. That’s probably for the best. It’ll be easier to get back to normal once you’re going on dates again. Once you stop fucking your roommate like you could have ever done that without forming some kind of feelings. 

It’s the middle of the night when you feel someone slide into bed around you. A familiar scent slips into your consciousness as an arm slides around your center. You nestle back into the chest and know for sure that it’s your roommate. The same man you’re trying hard to get over.

“What are you doing, Wonwoo?” you mumble in sleepiness. 

“Don’t go on the date with Mingyu,” he says. He sounds completely awake. 

“What?” you ask. Your brain is still foggy from sleep. 

“Don’t go out with anyone else,” he says. 

That makes you open your eyes as the words bounce around in your brain. You turn over to your other side so that you’re facing him. His hair is messy and all he’s wearing is a plain white t-shirt, but your heart still constricts a bit at the sight of him. 

“What do you want, Wonwoo?” you ask, voice thick with mental exhaustion.

“Exactly what I told you. I want you to turn Mingyu down,” he says.

“Why should I?” you challenge. 

“Because, well, we’ve got this…” he starts and fumbles over his words.

“We haven’t got anything. You’ve been avoiding me for days,” you point out. “Hell, I asked you to stay in bed with me after you fucked me in the kitchen and you couldn’t even make it til morning.” 

“I know, but I was scared that night because I realized I was starting to feel something,” he says. “And then Hao texted me to tell me he’d finally given your number to Mingyu…”

“Finally? What do you mean?” you asked.

“He’s been asking for your number for months,” Wonwoo says through somewhat gritted teeth. “So Minghao told me you’d agreed to be set up and I don’t know, I guess I just decided…”

“To avoid me?” you supply. 

“I didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t know how to process you not telling me,” he admits. 

“You weren’t around for me to tell you,” you point out. “We’ve been fucking. I wasn’t just gonna be like oh by the way, I’m going on a date.” 

“Please don’t go on a date with him,” Wonwoo asks again.

“I will consider not going if you can actually talk to me,” you say. 

“About what?” he asks. 

“Everything you’re feeling and why this whole let’s just be roommates that fuck was stupid,” you say. 

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he says immediately. 

You sigh, realizing that you’re not going to be able to go back to sleep, and send Wonwoo to the kitchen to get you something to drink. By the time he’s back, you’re sitting up in bed and ready to have an actual conversation. 

You stay up entirely too late talking about everything between the two of you. It’s a little hard to believe Wonwoo is so open with admitting how he feels. It’s harder to believe that Wonwoo knew he felt something for you before the very first time you had sex. In his mind, it was clear that he wasn’t just offering because the two of you were friends. He offered it as a way to gauge your own feelings. But, after that first time, he kind of figured it was just sex and tried to detach himself from it. That was when you started to feel something for him. 

When he’s done admitting his own mistakes and feelings, you figure that it’s time for you to own up to your own. It was really silly to just make up his side of the conversation about why he didn’t stay in bed with you that night. After all, the one thing you both stressed before sleeping together the first time was that you had to be honest in your communication. That’s what friends did and you were friends before anything else. As it turns out, you’re both way more on the same page than either of you realized. 

“You’re wrong about one thing, though,” you admit. 

“What’s that?” he asks.

“It was never just sex for me. I was totally done the first time you kissed me,” you share, picking at a thread on your comforter to avoid looking at him.

“I kissed you before we even had sex,” he points out, incredulous. 

“Yeah, turns out I’m not so good at the just friends who fuck thing,” you say with a shrug. 

“If I’d have known that was all it took, I’d have kissed you months ago,” Wonwoo grumbles.

That brings you up short. “Nu, just how long have you liked me?” 

“I don’t know, a while,” he says. 

You just shake your head at him before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Just talk to me next time.” 

“Can we go back to having sex now? I miss the feel of you,” he whines out. “And the taste.” 

“We literally fucked less than a week ago,” you point out to try and avoid the way it makes heat pool. 

“I could taste you every day and never get sick of it,” he says without any embarrassment. 

“Are we really giving this a try?” you ask.

“Unless you don’t want to,” Wonwoo says.

“I do, I’m just scared. What if we try a relationship and it doesn’t work?” you ask. “You’re one of my best friends. I don’t wanna lose that.” 

Wonwoo reaches out to tilt your head up. “We’ll just promise to be honest with each other. We can figure this out together.”

“Okay,” you agree.

“So, we’re doing this?” he confirms.

“Yeah, we’re doing this.” 

Just like that, you agree to take a leap with the only person that you’ve always trusted to catch you every time you fall. It feels scary, but also completely natural. 

i hope you enjoyed it! 💕

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[eschergirls]

Hi everybody!  

It's July so it's time to thank our amazing June Patreon supporters and to give a site update!

First, we are updating the site layout to be more user friendly.  For web, the layout should be a grid system now showing the images tiled instead of the images on top of each other with a sentence of text next to it.  The reason is because the preview text usually showed very little (for submissions it would just say "X submitted" which isn't a useful summary) and left a lot of empty space.  We're also adding a tag cloud to popular categories (handpicked by me) so people can find material easier.  Posts will also have a "featured" tag category, this doesn't change anything about how tags work, the featured tag is just like a focus tag that will link to the tag I think best describes the post so people can find other posts like it.  I hope the changes make the site easier to use for people.  If you have any suggestions or complaints about the site please feel free to let me know at eschergirls@gmail.com.

And, as usual I'm fixing up the archives, replacing broken images, sourcing images from the early days of the blog, finding better resolutions of images, and fixing up the HTML so posts aren't broken or have weird titles.  Given that the blog has over 8000 posts, this is obviously a long-term on-going project but I try to do a little at a time.  This month, I've restored 2 Code Geass Kallen posts (as well as consolidated the Code Geass tag so Kallen and C.C. are in the same tag), one of which is Kallen as a pretzel dancer, and the other is a redline of her as a pretzel dancer, people will probably get a kick out of those so I recommend you check them out!

I've also fixed up a bunch of very old Artemis and Wonder Woman posts:

Wonder Woman: The Contest TPB cover featuring Wonder Woman's leg turning into a tree

This panel from Wonder Woman vol. 2 #100 featuring Diana's boobflounder (both breasts drawn on one side of her chest) and another woman also being a boobflounder next to her

A panel from Wonder Woman vol. 2 #99 showing Artemis in a weird pose that originally was a transparent cutout that's been spread around online and it took a while to source where it came from (thanks to Fedi for helping me!)

The cover of Wonder Woman vol. 2 #93 showing both Artemis and Diana's legs turning into trees

The panel from Wonder Woman vol. 2 #100 showing the death of Artemis and her barbie anatomy (this one is very strange, I recommend everybody check it out if you haven't seen it before)

I'm still working through the Tumblr backlog, so if I haven't gotten to your submission, I greatly apologize.

And again, reminder, for those who want to follow us without using Tumblr, we have an RSS feed. (For newbies, RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!)

And now I want to thank all the people who supported us this month on Patreon.  Your support is really appreciated and helps me keep the site independently run and make site upgrades and improvements.  Your support helps to pay for domain costs, hosting, and just general site maintenance. :)

So here is a huge sincere thank you to all of the June Patreon supporters!

Thank you so so much to:

Anne Adler Cat Mara CheerfulOptimistic  Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Ian Cameron Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Leak  Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Rebecca Breu Ringoko  Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SpecialRandomCast  Thomas 

And also thank you so much to everybody for just generally interacting with the site, commenting, reblogging, and participating in caption contests! You all are awesome and make running the site really enjoyable. :)

Thank you again,

Ami

If you have any issues with the site or suggestions to improve it, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know!

If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.

[luvstruckmutt]

RANT ABOUT PEOPLES WEIRD ATTITUDE ABOUT SHANE STARDEW VALLEY INCOMING!!!

saw people complaining about shane today and saying he is a bad and awful husband and they divorced him after seeing his room and that he becomes boring after he starts getting therapy because the interesting thing about him is his struggle with addiction and after you "fix him" what's the point of being with him And just?? Why?? Did you even marry him?? Like?? I dunno, people are allowed to have opinions on characters but so many peoples' opinions are just?? Really bad and rooted deeply in ableism and misconceptions about mental health/addiction and are super saviory??

I have said this a thousand times but you can't fix people. That's literally not how people work. You can, however, be there for people and try and create a safe environment for them to be able to help themselves!! AND THATS EXACTLY EHAT FUCKING HAPPEMS IN STARDEW!! Shane gets help ON HIS OWN because he is being supported by both his family and the farmer. And to see that just fucking fly over peoples heads makes me so mad because DID WE PLAY THE SAME FUCLING GAME?? YOU DONT FIX SHIT!! YOU ACT AS PART OF A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! (Which is very important but like) YOU AS A SINGULAR PERSON CANT FIX PEOPLE!!

I also just hate the "I can fix them" attitude because, at least in this specific situation, the people saying this are the same people who divorce him because his room is ugly or because he is implied to relapse and still is depressed??? It feels like the same thing as when someone has "spread kindness!" or "love each other!" in their bio and then is the most rancid hateful person ever? The room thing in particular makes me mad because LIKE WHAT DID YUOU THINK IT WAS GOING TO LOOK LIKE?? YOU SAW HIS ROOM AT MARNIE'S, WHAT MADE YOU THINK HIS ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIZED AND SPOTLESS???

Idk like, again, you can dislike Shane and even regret marrying him. He's not very nice to you until you really get his hearts up there so he comes off as rude and abrasive. You don't HAVE TO LIKE HIM!! But so many people just spout hateful shit and it's like god, I hope you never have anyone in your life who suffers from mental illness because even though Shane is a video game character, the stuff you're saying and the ideas you have surrounding addiction and mental health are super toxic and weird and I hope no real person ever has to be subjected to them.

edit (put this in the tags but then wanted to add it to the main post):

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-06-19

Pathetic quilt stunt achieves nothing

Listening: A lot of MiSLeD, a small South African punk band. I started listening to them a while ago because I needed an album to pad out a bandcamp Friday and they turned up. It took a while to warm up to their extremely, unbelievably blunt style. Very little subtlety, but good loud angry music. Here's the hyperlocal anti-cop "Carguard in Disguise" from their acoustic album "Rolling Blackout"

Reading: Among other things rereading the webcomic Postcards in Braille, by Kurisquare. Cute, low-plot slice of life comedy comic from 2014-2017. I have no clue how I found it way back and I've never been able to remember the name until I tracked it down recently. Follows a bunch of friends hanging out and going through low stakes emotional scenes. The protagonist is blind and the author puts some neat well researched notes on adaptive technology in the comic, which has come in handy for me more than once.

I should really check out her other comics now that I've tracked it down, she's got a bunch of new ones out since I last encountered her work.

Watching: I have begun the grand Fast and Furious Watch, so far I've got two book reports and three movies down. Tokyo Drift is so, so stupid it's taking me a minute to write it all down. Go check the #furious book report tag to see the first two.

Making: My weird awful washer-dryer decided to steam-dry(?) the Penrose quilt instead of being normal so I'm dealing with colour runs. Mostly washing and rewashing without letting it dry, plus using some "colour catchers" which are dye-attracting sheets that seem to help a little.

Felt very sick when I first saw that! It's cleared up a lot and it should be fine but still! Not great! It's nine months of hand sewing, and there's basically no way to easily fix any damage to the main patchwork. Most of the runs are confined to the backside so that's good, and the worst of it is already gone.

Playing: Terra Nil, a Devolver Digital city builder themed as an ecological reclamation game. You show up to a barren wasteland and you have to revive the soil, put down biomes, adjust the climate, and establish an ecosystem. Saw it on Loading Ready Run:

It's pretty fun, desktop and mobile deal as most Devolver games are, and if you have Netflix it's bundled in the game subscription system they have.

I've cleared the main missions which unlocks another round where you go through variants of the same environments, each one has unique challenges like a tropical environment where you have to establish coral on land and move it to the ocean, or a volcanic environment where everything is covered in ice to begin with. Very tricky when you start each level but once you establish yourself you build up a pretty good safety net.

The main gimmick is that at the end of each level you have to pack up all your terraforming equipment and take it with you, which necessitate a trail of monorails or canals that you close up behind you.

The most frustrating thing is the animal system, which is bad because it's illegible in two directions. You have to select small regions that meet the criteria for an animal to live in it, stuff like "contains ice and ocean and prey", and it's not always clear why something is failing or saying you've only partially met some demand. In addition there's no easy way to see which conditions you need to meet as you're playing, so you either need to constantly tab into the information book or you need to just hope you don't accidentally screw yourself in the endgame. I haven't yet but it's been close, I once had just barely enough bamboo near grassland to get pandas.

Tools and Equipment: here's a tech tip: you basically never have to hot wash anything unless you're explicitly trying to sterilize it or kill mites or whatever. Modern detergents are very good at removing grime even at room temperature. I mostly wash things at 30-40°C. It saves energy and reduces long term damage to your clothing. You should however probably hot wash fabric before you sew with it, and we suspect that's part of why the quilt ran: my mother was in charge of washing it and probably just put it in at her normal 30°C cycle instead of a hotter prewash.

[hydrus]

Version 538

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a great week. There's some new libraries and new file support.

full changelog

notes

If you get a popup on update about missing indices, don't worry. Something I forgot last week is being fixed. Just let it work.

If you run from source, I recommend you rebuild your venv this week. Just run the 'setup_venv' script again with the same settings you chose before. You'll get new Qt, OpenCV, and the HEIF support. If you are on an older OS and run into trouble with Qt, the setup now has a 'Qt (o)lder' option that gives you something we know is very stable and compatible.

highlights

The main UI and image libraries that hydrus uses are updated today. We've been in an awkward place with Qt for a while, stuck on a version I regret updating to, so I hope this jump relieves this. It should speed some image load, reduce some flicker, and fix some UI scaling issues. There are no special install instructions, and we've been testing for months on different computers and haven't seen any specific update problems, so I'm not expecting any significant issues. If you do run into anything, then please roll back to your backup and let me know.

Thanks to a user, we now have full support for HEIF, HEIC, and AVIF files! They import and work like any other image. We also support the 'sequence' version of these files, which are essentially like (currently super rare) high quality animated gifs. I'm very new to all these formats, and they are obviously less common, so if you have a weird version or your colours are all messed up, I'll be interested in examples. I don't even have a 'HEIC sequence' to test with!

My deferred delete system is complete. Most users don't have to ever think about it, but it is under database->database maintenance. There's an UI panel to track what still needs to be deleted and some basic settings to control when it does its work. If you delete the PTR or do a large regeneration job, the (very slow) actual delete of the existing data now happens in pieces in the background in the future. I'm really pleased with the performance, and even deleting 30-million-row tables seems to work very well, but if you delete the PTR (2 billiow row table!) and get unacceptable lag every few seconds, check that menu and disable the work during idle/normal time and let me know, and we'll figure it out.

tags->migrate tags has cleverer file filtering. You can now select the tags for files 'deleted from x' or 'currently in y or z' real easy.

next week

I'm generally happy with my current productivity, but I'm falling behind on many things at once. I would like to focus on system predicate parsing and Client API for a week, because it keeps slipping.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 120

warnings: none! hmh masterlist A/N: I’m sorry about my tagging lately. I don’t know what’s going on with it. Tumblr is being wack, of course. So, I’m sorry if you’re not being tagged or if you’re getting the notification weeks later. It’s just tumblr being tumblr, i guess.

It’s a beautiful day today, and you’re sitting in a lawn chair and watching John as he trims the hedges around the patio. John bought some new plants to compliment the gorgeous tulips, and he also got some new mulch for the garden. You were helping him plant some flowers in pots, but you stopped to take a little break since your back hurts.

The yard has always been gorgeous and well tended to, but since you’ve moved in, John has dismissed the lawn company. He always said he didn’t have the time and energy to do the yard work himself since he was usually helping Helen when she was sick, and when he moved back home after everything happened, he hired them again. Now that you live here and love working in the yard, he’s dismissed them again. The yard is large and would take forever to mow, but you surprised John with a riding lawn mower earlier this month, and you love to make fun of him when you see him riding around the yard on it.

“It’s so beautiful today,” you say, tilting your head back in the sun, then you look at John as he nods his head. You smile when you see a little bit of dirt on his forehead from where he’s tried to wipe away the sweat, and you get up to walk over to him. You kneel down and use your thumb to wipe away the dirt, then you smile at him, “I’ll go get you something to drink.”

John smiles, “Thanks, peach.”

You stand up to walk inside, then you look back at John as he digs a hole for the next plant. You open the door and head to the kitchen to pour some water into a cup for John, and you wince a little when you feel a pain in your stomach. Pushing it aside, you head back outside to John, then you sit down and take a sip of his water before you hand it to him.

“You okay?” he asks as he sits down next to you, and you nod. “Are you sure?”

“Just had a little pain in my stomach,” you say, then you look up at John, “I’m okay.”

John looks at you in concern, “Do we need to go to the hospital? We can go right now.”

“It was just a cramp, baby. Probably just some gas or something. I’m okay.” you reach over and cup his face in your hands, then you kiss him, “I love my protective husband.”

“I love my wife.” he whispers, then he leans over to kiss you again, “If we need to go to the hospital, just let me know.”

You nod your head as you sit back in your chair, then you take the water from John and drink the rest. You place your hand on your belly and smile when John leans down to kiss it, then you watch as he walks back over to finish planting the rest of the flowers.

Closing your eyes, you tilt your head back in the sun and smile to yourself. You’re so happy that the weather has been so nice lately, and there hasn’t been a day this week where you haven’t spent most of it outside.

John looks over his shoulder when he hears a car coming up the driveway, then he stands up, “That’s Jerry -- the guy to fix the pool.”

“We’re swimming tonight.” you say, and John nods as he walks over to greet Jerry. You put your hand up to block the sun as they walk past, then you smile when John winks at you.

Groaning a little, you get up from the chair and walk through the house to the backyard, and you smile when you see John standing near the pool as he talks with Jerry. You smile as you lean over the railing on the patio and look at John, then you look around the backyard, taking in the gorgeous view of colorful flowers and even John’s sweet little garden that he’s so proud of.

“I would say you can probably swim by tonight. Should be good by 5, just gotta let it cycle for a few hours.” Jerry says, and John looks over at you and smiles. “I can leave you a little test kit so you can test the water.”

“So, is the filter just broken or something? We use this pool all year round, but we only noticed how green it had gotten last week.” John says, letting out a small laugh, “My wife wanted to swim the other night, and we came out to find it like this.”

Jerry nods, “Every now and again, parts break on these things.”

“Well, good thing there’s guys like you around to fix it,” you say, and Jerry lets out a small laugh.

“Sorry it took us so long to get out here. Busy time of the year.” Jerry says, then he excuses himself so he can get his tools from his truck.

John walks over to you with his hands in his pockets, then he stands in front of you and smiles when you lean over the railing to kiss him several times. He takes his hands out of his pockets to pull himself up closer to you, and you laugh against his lips when he crawls over the railing to hug you.

“The stairs are right there.”

“I was being romantic, peach.” he laughs, then he smothers your face with kisses. “Mm, mm, mm!”

You lean back and smile at John, “You’re laying it on thick today.”

“I always do.”

“Yeah, true.” you laugh as you hug him, then you look over his shoulder when Jerry comes back into the backyard. “I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit.”

John nods as he rubs your back, “If you feel that pain again, let me know. I’ll rush up to get you and we can leave.”

“I will, dad.” you smile as he laughs, then you lean up to kiss him before you walk over to the door.

“Hey,” John calls out and you look over your shoulder at him, “I love you more than anything.”

You let out a small laugh as you look at him smiling proudly since he really is being over the top affectionate today, “I love you too.”

__

Mill Neck always has great festivals every season, and you’re super excited to be able to actually go to the summer festival this year. The town square is packed with craft booths and food trucks, and John is practically eating everything in sight. He smiles as he walks over to you with a gyro, then he holds it up so you can take a bite.

“My goodness, look at you!” your mom smiles as she walks over, then she pushes past you and reaches out to hug John as you laugh, “So handsome!”

You playfully roll your eyes when your mom looks at you, “Sure, I’m just lugging around a baby, but let’s all comment on how handsome John is.”

“I’m teasing! You look beautiful, sweetheart.” your mom smiles, then she kisses your cheek, “I see John is already eating his way through the festival.”

John nods with his mouth full, then he hands his lemonade to you, which you decline since it’ll give you heartburn, “I’ve been working in the yard all morning. Worked up an appetite.”

“We got the yard all done, so we’re ready for our pool party tonight!” you smile as you look over your mom’s shoulder at Jimmy and Tess, then you lean down and lift up Finn, kissing his cheek over and over as he giggles, “Oh, got a little ketchup with that one.”

Tess holds up the last of her corndog for Finn, and he leans over so she can hold him, “We still on for our pool party?”

“Of course.” John nods, then he cracks up a bottle of water, “Gonna eat my weight in festival food first though.”

You laugh as you look at him, “I sure would love some mini donuts.”

“Then I’ll go get you some.” John smiles, handing the bottle of water to you before he walks away with Jimmy and your dad.

“How’s he holdin’ up?” your mom asks, and you laugh. “Still feeling nervous?”

You nod, “We both are. It’s getting so much closer, and we’re really starting to realize that it won’t just be us anymore. I had a little bit of a cry about it last night if I’m being honest -- still feel a little sad actually.”

“Why’s that?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you walk with your mom through the festival, “John and I have only been together for almost two years, so I think there’s this part of me that just feels like…I don’t know, I feel like it’s stupid, so I don’t want to say it.”

“I always taught you to talk about your feelings, didn’t I?” she says, and you nod your head. “So, talk about them.”

“There’s this part of me that worries that once the baby is here, John will just want to me fuck off or something.” you admit, then you let out a small laugh, “I know how stupid it sounds, trust me, but it’s just the way I’m feeling.”

Your mom wraps her arm around your shoulder and smiles at you, “It’s your feelings, so they’re not stupid.”

“I never realized how selfish I am when it comes to John until now. I don’t want to share him with anyone else. Of course I’m beyond excited to see him as a dad, and I’d never regret having this baby. I already love her to bits, and I’d do anything in this world for her. I just…don’t want John to stop caring about me. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” you look down as you grow sad, but you hear John’s laugh and it causes you to look up at him tossing Finn in the air. A smile spreads across your face when you see John kissing Finn’s cheek, and you give him a small wave when he looks over at you.

“I don’t think you’re selfish, sweetheart. It’ll be a change, it always is when you bring a new member into the house, but…” your mom looks over at John, then she looks back at you with tears in her eyes as you laugh, “I don’t think you ever need to worry about that man not caring about you. I know I’ve told you time and time again, but he is absolutely crazy about you. He still tells me how lucky he is to have you. Hell, he just told me the other night how happy he is to have found you. He just says these things, mind you. He’ll just randomly mention how lucky he is.”

You laugh as you wipe away the tear on your cheek, “He’s corny.”

“He’s in love.” your mom says, reaching over to cup your face, “And I think having this baby is only making him fall even harder for you.”

You smile as you continue walking with your mom, and you watch John as he playfully runs away from Finn chasing him. You look over your shoulder as he runs past, then you laugh when you hear him sneaking up behind you.

“I probably shouldn’t scare you,” he laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Might accidentally push the baby out if I do.”

You laugh as you tilt your head back to look at him, “I’m not that far along.”

“You okay? I saw you talking to your mom.” he whispers in your ear, then he kisses your temple, “I’m always here if you need someone to talk to, though I’m sure you don’t always want to just talk to your husband.”

Tilting your head back, you smile at him, “You’re not just my husband, babe. You’re my best friend.”

The two of you start to laugh loudly since it was fairly corny, and you playfully shove John’s shoulder. His corniness is really rubbing off on you and he knows it.

“It’s true!” you laugh when he walks back over to you and reaches for your hand. “You are my best friend, you know?”

“You’re mine.” he smiles, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “You’re okay?”

You nod as you look up at John, “I am, just being a silly pregnant woman!”

“Well,” John laughs as he nods, then he smiles at you, “I love you.”

“I love you.” you smile, tilting your head back to get another kiss from him.

__

After the festival, there’s going to be fireworks, but since that isn’t happening until dusk, you’re having a little pool party with your family. The front lawn will have a perfect view of the fireworks since they’re set off right across the lake, so you’re all just hanging around until then.

Finn is wading around the pool in a little floatie with Jimmy and Tess, and your mom and dad are sitting on the patio furniture watching everyone and chatting.

John is sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water, and you place your hand on his shoulder to help as you sit down next to him. He looks over at you and smiles when he sees you wearing a black swimsuit, and you immediately rest back on your hands when he leans over to kiss your bump.

“Just obsessed.” you laugh, and John nods his head. “I get it. I am too.”

John laughs, then he hops in the pool and stands between your legs, leaning closer to your belly so he can kiss it, “Hey, bug. I hope you’re okay in there.”

“I think she’s pretty good! She ate some good food today, and she’s going to have an amazing smoothie in a bit.” you say, cocking up your eyebrow as John laughs. “I mean, you’ve made them for months now, you can’t just stop.”

“Very true.” John says, then he flinches and puts his hands up when water is splashed at him. He turns around and smiles when Finn giggles and kicks his legs, and John disappears under the water so he can pop out and scare Finn.

You smile when Finn squeals loudly and kicks his legs, and you slip into the pool to help take some pressure off your spine. You float on your back as you look up at the sky to see a few clouds still lingering, then you smile when you feel John putting his arms under you so he can hold you.

“How’s your back?”

“Doesn’t hurt so much right now since I’m in the pool, but I wouldn’t push you away if you wanted to help hold my belly later.”

John nods as he sways you back and forth in the water, “Of course.”

You tilt your head back to get your hair wet, then you look up at John and laugh when you see him staring at your boobs, “My boobs are really popping today.”

“I sure don’t mind,” he laughs, then he leans down to kiss you before walking around the pool with you in his arms.

Laughter is filling the backyard as Jimmy and Tess splash one another, and you smile when you look over at your dad holding your mom’s hand and talking to John. You look up at John for a moment before you get down so you can swim with Finn, then you look over at John again as he leans over the side of the pool to continue talking to your parents.

Your heart always bursts with happiness when you see how well John gets along with your parents. It’s really sweet how John cares about them. Of course he cares about you, but he genuinely just loves your family as well and you know how much it means to him that they’ve really accepted him. The fact that he feels comfortable enough to take his shirt off and allow people to see his scars is huge, and it means a lot to you that no one even bats an eye. They all just love him.

John was always worried that your dad wouldn’t like him since usually dads are so tough on their son-in-laws, but Dan loves John and Jimmy, and they all hang out quite a bit. They have cute little golf days, and you always tease John -- lovingly -- about his two best friends.

Dan has thrown his back out recently since he’s getting older, and John has been going over every couple days to help out around their house. Your mom won’t allow anyone to touch the garden, but she hates mowing, so John and Jimmy have been taking turns doing it so far. On top of John just liking your parents, you know there’s a little part of him that thinks of them as his own parents, which you absolutely love since you know your parents love him. He really just wants to take care of them, and it melts your heart.

“Hey,” John smiles as he swims back over to you, “I think I’m gonna get out soon. Start some smoothies for everyone. Wanna join?”

You nod your head as you smile, then you make sure Finn is back with Jimmy before you get out of the pool. Reaching up for John’s hand, you smile at him and take the towel he’s offering you and laugh when you wrap it around yourself.

“I think I need a bigger towel.” you laugh, looking at the towel just barely wrapped around your body.

“Sweetheart,” your mom furrows her brow and leans closer, “You have something on your left side…”

You scrunch your eyebrows and look at your legs and stomach, then you look at your mom when she gestures to your chest.

“Oh!” you turn to the side and move your arm, “I got it last year. It’s a ‘J’ for John! I know, I know, a tattoo is permanent.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.” your mom smiles, then she gestures to John, “John needs to get something for you now!”

John laughs, “I’m planning on it. We said we’d get something after the baby is born. I already have an idea for what I want for my peach though.”

“My face. Just right across his chest.” you say, placing your hand on John’s chest, “Maybe a couple face tattoos as well.”

John scoffs and playfully rolls his eyes, “Yeah, right.”

You give John a little wink as you look at him, then you laugh as you look at your mom before heading to the house. John holds your hand to help you get up the steps so you don’t slip, then he holds the door open for you. You smile at John when you look over at him, then you bite your lip and blush when he looks at you.

“Mrs. Wick, are you checking me out?”

“Why, yes I am!” you smile proudly, then you walk with him upstairs, “You look so…fit lately.”

John scoffs, “Hardly. I’ve been stuffing my face all week.”

You smirk as you look at him, then you playfully shrug, “You certainly have.”

“And I like it that way,” he smiles, leaning over to kiss you. “Might have to have a little peach tonight.”

“Absolutely.” you smile as you walk over to your closet, then you quickly change into some clean clothes. You head into the bathroom and tie your hair up for now since you’ll shower later before bed, then you smile at John when he stands next to you to fix his shirt.

John stands behind you and places his hands on your stomach, then he looks at you through the mirror, “Ready?”

“Yup!”

You lean back against John’s chest and watch as he positions his hands under your belly, then he gently lifts your stomach up to help relieve some pressure on your spine and pelvis. You lean your head against his chest and close your eyes as a smile spreads across your face, and you feel John pressing a kiss to your head.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, and you nod your head. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to let go.”

“Definitely not yet.” you laugh, and John chuckles softly. You open your eyes to look at John through the mirror, then you laugh tearfully, “How the fuck did I get so lucky?”

John kisses your cheek before he looks at you, “How did I?”

After a few moments of holding your gaze, John kisses your cheek again, then he gently lowers your belly back down. You exhale when you move from in front of John, and you turn around to hug him.

“You have no idea how much relief that gives me.”

“Just here to help.” he whispers, then he reaches for your hand when you start to walk away, “Are you okay?”

You take a deep breath and nod, “Just--”

“Being a silly pregnant woman,” he says, cocking up his eyebrow, “You already tried that on me earlier.”

“Nothing gets past you, Wick.”

John lets out a small laugh, “Just let me know what I can do.”

“We’ll talk later. We always do.”

“You’re not mad at me, are you?”

You walk over to John and cup his face, “Of course not!”

John leans down to kiss you several times, then he takes your hand and walks with you back downstairs. He walks over to the fridge to get out everything he’ll need for smoothies, and you grab a few extra towels for Jimmy and Tess. You hand one over to Jimmy as he walks into the house, then he puts his shoes on.

“I gotta get Finn’s headphones for the fireworks. I’ll be back.” he says, then he stops when he sees John with the blender, “You makin’ smoothies for everyone?”

John laughs as he nods, “Yeah.”

“Hell yeah!” Jimmy pumps his fist, then he quickly leaves the house.

You laugh as you look over at John, “My husband, the smoothie maker.”

__

“How the hell does one fall asleep during fireworks?” John laughs as he stands next to the bed and lifts up the blankets to get in, then he sits down, “I know he’s a baby, but that was amazing.”

You smile as you lean against the wall, “It was so cute seeing him crawl over to you and just falling asleep in your lap. Made my heart melt.”

“He’s a cute kid.” John says, and you nod before you start to brush your teeth.

You mumble with your toothbrush in your mouth as John raises his eyebrows and laughs, then you roll your eyes and put your finger up before you walk into the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste. You wipe your mouth off and pull your wet hair up into a bun, then you head back into the bedroom.

“I said that he always looks so cute when he scrunches up his nose when he laughs like Tess.” you say as you walk over to the bed, “Tess always scrunches up her nose when she talks and laughs, and I think it’s cute that Finn does it. He looks so much like Jimmy sometimes, so I love when I see Tess in him.”

“I see Tess in him,” John says, and you look over at him, “When he’s bawling his brains out or when he’s being naughty.”

You playfully shove John’s shoulder, “Be nice.”

“I’m kidding, of course. Finn’s a great kid.” John inhales deeply and looks over at you as you get yourself comfortable by stuffing pillows around you to support your belly, and he smiles when you look up at him, “You comfortable?”

“I am,” you laugh as you nod, “For once. I just wanna crash.”

John smiles as he leans down to kiss you several times, then he holds your gaze, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” you whisper to him, then you lean up to kiss him again before you close your eyes and wrap your right arm around his waist.

“I’m gonna watch some TV, okay?” he says, and you nod your head as your eyes slowly flutter shut.

__

It only started raining about 15 minutes ago, so you assume John will be home soon. He went over to your parents’ house to mow for them, but now that it’s raining he’ll probably be home soon.

You grab a blanket off the couch as you walk past, then you head to the back patio so you can enjoy the rain. You smile at Bleu when you walk past him, and he hops up and follows you outside. He plops down on the deck and lays near the loveseat, then he perks his head up when he hears the garage door opening.

“Oh, your dad is home.” you say, and Bleu gets up and whimpers as he looks through the patio door, his tail wagging faster when he hears the front door open. You look over your shoulder into the kitchen window and watch as John walks in, and you perk up when you see flowers in his hand.

John sets the flowers down on the counter and rubs his hand over his beard, then he furrows his brow and walks into the living room. You peek through the window and watch him walk past the kitchen, then he stands in the doorway and looks around. A flash a lightning lights up the house for a quick moment, and John immediately looks over at the kitchen window and smiles when you wave at him. He waves back at you as he walks out onto the patio, then he laughs and pets Bleu for a moment.

“Knew you’d be out here as soon as I saw the lightning. Scoot over, lemme hold you.” John smiles as he sits down next to you, then he wraps his arm around you to pull you closer, “Gimme a kiss.”

You laugh quietly as you lean up to kiss John, cupping his face in your hand, “I love how you always say ‘gimme a kiss’, it’s so cute.”

“Keep kissing me!” he says against your lips, and you laugh even harder, “I missed my peach.”

“You were gone for three hours.”

John leans back and nods, “I know, I didn’t think I’d be gone for so long.”

You scoff quietly, “Three hours is not a long time, John.”

“I think so,” he pouts as he leans down to kiss you again. “Way too long. Hate being away from you.”

A smile tugs at your lips as you look up at John, “Really?”

“Of course. I’d rather be with you than anyone else.” he pulls you closer to him and kisses the top of your head, “You’re my girl.”

You lean your head against John’s shoulder as you look out at the rain falling in the backyard, and you smile to yourself when John kisses the top of your head over and over. He inhales the smell of your shampoo as he leans his head against yours, then he rubs your arm to warm you up.

“How long have you been out here?”

“Literally 30 seconds before you got here.” you laugh, then you look up at him, “How’s dad doing?”

John nods, “Good. He told me that he wants to be able to mow his own lawn, so he did mow the front. Your mom cheered him on, it was sweet.”

“I’m sure it’s hard for him to just suddenly not be able to do things. He’s taken care of his own lawn and ours since my mom met him.” you say as you shrug, “I’m sure next year when you’re an old man, you’ll be the same.”

“Oh, don’t even start with old man jokes!” John laughs, then he holds your gaze when you cock up your eyebrow. He tickles your stomach as you laugh loudly, then he leans down and tickles the crook of your neck with his beard. “You think I’m old?”

You laugh as you grab John’s wrists and push his hands away to keep him from tickling you, “No! Of course not! You’re my hunky hot husband, who literally has not aged a day since I met him. Seriously! You look exactly the same! No grays in your beard or hair, no wrinkles. Tell me your secret!”

“Happiness,” he whispers, and you playfully gag as you cross your eyes. “It’s true, peach.”

The rain is still coming down as you sit in John’s arms, and there’s a strike of lightning that’s so bright it lights up the entire backyard. Thunder rumbles a few moments later causing Bleu to sit by the door to be let inside.

“You want inside?” John asks, then he gets up and opens the door for Bleu before he sits back down. He groans a little as he sits back down, then he props his feet up on the table and looks over at you, “Can you believe it’s been a year since we were in Italy?”

“Oh my god,” you look over at him and gasp, “That’s true! One year ago, wow. One year since you scared the shit out of me. Twice, might I add!”

John lets out a small laugh, then he looks over at you, “I’m still so sorry about that. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you, seeing me like that.”

“Yeah,” you nod as you look at him, then you shrug, “I was just so worried about you. I finally met this amazing man who was everything I wanted, and I was scared I was going to lose him.”

“I wasn’t dying, peach.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “I know that, Wick. I think…there was always this part of me that thought after it happened, you’d get this…urge to go back to that life. Like maybe our life wasn’t enough since you got a taste of that other world again.”

John nods his head as he turns to face you, then he smiles and reaches for your hand, waiting for you to continue.

“But I think that night really changed it for me. I saw the way you looked at me when I saw you -- I saw your heart break.” you look over at him and shrug, “I think that was the moment I realized that you were truly ready to leave it all behind.”

“I’m still not even sure why I took the job there.” John admits, playing with your fingers, “Guess I just…thought it was what I was meant to do. At the beginning, it was really hard to turn off that switch, you know? But I think a lot changed for you and I after Italy. We finally decided on getting married that fall, you decided to come off your birth control, we wanted to start a family. I think Italy was exactly what we needed. Just the two of us away from all distractions. It was exactly what I needed as well because I realized that I just wanted to be with you. I didn’t care about that old life that I had.”

You smile softly as you look at him, “You don’t miss it?”

“Not at all.” John shakes his head as he looks out at the rain, “My life with you is so important and special to me, you know this. Putting myself at risk all the time isn’t worth it anymore.”

“It never was, Jonathan.”

John chuckles, “Agree to disagree. But I have a baby on the way with my favorite person in the world, a person who I couldn’t imagine my life without now, and I think that’s what is the most important thing now.”

You never got to have your conversation with John last night since you fell asleep and John has been gone for most of the day, so you figure you might as well have it now.

“You ready to talk now?” John asks, and you look up at him and smile. “Did I read your mind?”

“You always do,” you laugh, then you inhale deeply, “Obviously I’m beyond excited to start this new chapter with you, to be parents! I feel so lucky that I get to do it alongside you. We both have a lot of the same values, and I know we’ll both put her above anything.”

John reaches over and cups your face, “Just say what you’re feeling, mouse.”

You take a deep breath and sigh as you look at him, “I’m selfish because I still just want you to myself. It won’t be long now until we’ll have another person under the roof, and I feel so selfish because I’m going to miss the times when it was just us. I’m gonna miss having you to myself. We haven’t been together for that long, so it sucks that now I have to share you. I just want you to myself forever.”

“Do you really think I don’t feel that way too?” he asks, and you shrug as you nod. “I feel the exact same way. I love having you to myself, but I know I’m going to have to share you soon. I actually have been afraid to tell you about it, but I talked to Jimmy about it.”

“Really?”

John nods as he laughs, “Yeah, and he said he felt the same way too when they first had Finn. He said he felt a little jealous about not having time with just Tess, then he felt guilty about it because he thought that meant he didn’t love Finn, which we both know he absolutely does. Think about their relationship. They’ve never really had any time to just themselves since she got pregnant right after they got together.”

“That’s true, I shouldn’t complain.”

“Baby, that’s not what I’m saying,” John whispers, and you bite your cheek as you look up at him, “I feel the same way as you, and I know that she’s going to need you more than she needs me, that’s just a fact. I’ll miss when we could just do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, but I also don’t want a baby to hold us back from doing things. I want us to still go out and have fun, and that’s not something that should ever change just because we have a baby.”

You nod as you look at him, “We can have date nights.”

“Absolutely! Your mom wanted to be here so she could be near her daughters and her grandchildren, you know that she’d be more than happy to take the baby for us so we could have a date night. I absolutely love taking you out on dates and showering you with love, and I don’t plan on stopping.”

You shrug, “I just don’t want…ugh, never mind, it sounds so stupid.”

John smiles softly as you look at him, “You know that I am absolutely crazy about you. You are the most important person in my life, and you always will be. Every morning I wake up and think to myself how fucking lucky I am to have you. You know my past, you know what I’ve done, and when I told you, you didn’t bat an eye. Do you know how lucky I am to have that, to have someone truly accept me and love me?”

“I just love you a lot,” you laugh tearfully as you wipe away your tears, “I don’t want us to lose what we have.”

“You can’t lose something this special,” John smiles, and you lean up to kiss him, “I made a promise to you that I would do everything in my power to make you happy and to show you every day how important you are to me, and I don’t plan on breaking that promise. It’ll be different with a baby, but I’m still going to be just as crazy about you. I love you more than anything, I really do.”

“I love you too, Wick.”

John smiles as he kisses you, then he leans back and laughs, “Anyone would be crazy about you, and I’d be an idiot to not be in love with you. I would be a massive idiot to fuck up what we have as well, especially since this is something so rare. I’m always going to be crazy about you -- in fact, I’m even more crazy about you now.”

You cup John’s face as you lean up to kiss him, then you rest your forehead against his and close your eyes,”I’m sorry I’ve been so crazy.”

“You haven’t been.” John whispers against your forehead, “This is so new to us, of course we’re going to be having some different emotions and feelings about things. But what’s important is you coming to me so we can talk through it. I don’t want that to change.”

Letting out a small laugh, you lean back and smile at him, “How are you always so level-headed?”

“One of us has to be,” he jokes as you laugh, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek, “Is there anything else bothering you?”

You shake your head as you smile at him, “Nope.”

“Okay, well, if you think of something later on, don’t ever hesitate to talk to me. I’m your husband, it’s what I’m here for.”

“I love you,” you scoot closer to John, then you raise your eyebrows and smile at him, “I know you’ve purposefully avoided talking to Bug…”

John laughs, “I didn’t want you to think I don’t care about you, so I wanted to talk to you first and make sure that you were feeling better.”

“But now…”

John laughs as he pulls the blanket off of you and kisses your belly, “Now I gotta talk to our baby girl.”

You smile as you watch John whispering softly to your belly, and you rub his back as he leans down and kisses your stomach over and over.

“Is she sleeping? Usually she’s kicking when she-- never mind,” John laughs when he sees your stomach move, “There she is. Hi, baby.”

“She was stomping on my bladder earlier today for about 15 minutes when I was trying to lay down, so I never got to take a nap.”

John chuckles as he sits up, still keeping his hand on your stomach, “Well, how rude of her.”

“She’s probably kicking now because she’s hungry.” you say as a smile spreads across your face, and John lets out a small laugh. “I was waiting for you to get home so we could go get something.”

“What are you in the mood for?” John asks as he gets up and reaches for your hands, and you shrug and gesture to him, “Oh, you’re in the mood for me? Mrs. Wick…”

You laugh as you playfully shove his shoulder, “What are you in the mood for?”

“Well, now that I know you want me…” he teases, then he laughs as he leans down to kiss you, “I’m in the mood for anything. It’s up to you, peach.”

“I kind of want pancakes.” you say, and John nods, “But not your pancakes.”

John scoffs as he backs away, “Ouch!”

“I really want pancakes from the cafe, which is perfect because you can get a burger!”

“That does sound good.” John nods, then he wraps his arms around you and kisses you several times, “You don’t like my pancakes anymore?”

You laugh as you look at him, “I love your pancakes, but you gotta admit, the cafe makes amazing pancakes.”

“They do.” John nods, then he pecks you again before he walks over to the door to open it.

Wrapping the blanket around you, you walk into the kitchen and smile when you see the flowers on the counter, “What are these for?”

“Oh, I ran to the store and grabbed a few things for your parents and I saw these beautiful flowers, so I got them for you.” he says, and you smile at him as he leans down to get a vase under the sink. He fills it with water and starts to laugh when he realizes you’re just staring at him, “I bought your mom some flowers too, and I’ve bought you flowers before, this isn’t new.”

“I know!” you laugh as you walk over to help him put the flowers in the vase, “It’s just sweet.”

John wraps his left arm around your waist and kisses your forehead, “You’re very cute, you know that? Still get butterflies coming home to you.”

“Stop! You’re gonna make me cry again.” you laugh, then you huff when your eyes fill with tears.

“Best thing that’s ever happened to me.” John whispers as he moves closer, “Waking up next to you every morning is indescribable.”

You put your hands over his mouth and laugh, “Stop it, Wick! I’m already a mess! I’m gonna make you cry one of these days, though I’m not as romantic as you.”

“Yes, you are,” John laughs, and you roll your eyes as he wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead, “I love you. If you ever feel like I’m slacking, just let me know.”

You scoff as you move out of John’s arms, “You slacking on being a good husband? Highly unlikely.”

“You’ll let me know?”

Looking back at John, you shake your head for a moment, then you nod, “Of course, but I know it won’t happen.”

“If it did, it certainly wouldn’t be intentional.” he says, and you smile at him.

You hold his gaze as you walk back over to him, and you reach for his hand and press a warm kiss to the palm of it. You place it on your cheek as you look up at him, then you close your eyes and smile, leaning into the warmth of his hand.

John shakes his head when you look at him, then he smiles, “You’re trying to get me to cry?”

“Maybe…” you say softly, then you laugh when John cups your face in his hands and kisses your forehead. You take his left hand and look down as you press it to your belly, then you laugh quietly. You tilt your head back as you hold his gaze, and you smile when John blinks a few times. You perk up and smile when you see his eyes growing glassy, and he lets go of you and turns around to hide from you. “Oh, my god! It worked!”

Keeping his back to you, John lets out a small laugh, “I’m not crying. Something flew into my eyes.”

“Oh, yeah, both of them?” you scoff, then you walk over to him and smile when he faces you, “You got a little teary eyed, don’t lie.”

“I did,” he laughs, and you raise your eyebrows in curiosity, “I genuinely didn’t mean for it to happen.”

You throw your hands up in victory as John laughs, then you dance in place, “I did it! I did it!”

John chuckles as he pulls you back to him, then he hugs you tight as you wrap your arms around his waist, “Can’t tell you how happy I am to have met you.”

“Oh, no, we’re not doing this again.” you laugh as you push yourself out of his arms, but he tightens his grip on you and smiles. “I’ve cried enough tonight.”

John hugs you tight in his arms as the two of you share a sweet kiss, then he kisses your cheek several times before burying his face in the crook of your neck. You hug him tight in your arms when he lifts you up to sit on the counter, then he kisses your nose before he walks over to the freezer.

“I ate all the ice cream last night.” you say, looking over your shoulder as he opens the freezer. “I woke up at like 2 and came down to eat it.”

“Without me?” John laughs, and you let out a small laugh as you nod. He walks over to you and helps you off the counter, then he kisses your forehead, “I made my girl cry a few too many times, so I think you deserve some ice cream.”

You nod, then you shrug, “They were happy tears though.”

“Oh, so you don’t want ice cream? Okay.” John jokes, letting go of your hand as he walks into the living room, and you run after him as you grab his hand.

“Hey! I still want some ice cream!”

John grabs his keys off the table and smiles when you look at him, “God, you’re so cute today. Come here!”

You laugh as John pulls you closer to him so he can kiss you, and you hug him tight around his waist. You tilt your head back to catch your breath for a moment, then you kiss him again and smile when he shakes his head.

“How the hell are you my wife? My wife?” he asks, and you playfully shrug, “So damn lucky.”

“What is going on with you today?”

John chuckles, “I don’t know. I think being around your parents made me…realize that that’ll be us someday. Your mom cheering on your dad, just like you cheer for me. Your dad is so in love with your mom, just like I am with you. It was nice.”

“They’re pretty cute.”

“They are,” John nods before leaning down to leave a sweet kiss on your lips, “I’ll tone it down for now, but just know that when we get home, it’s gonna get cranked up to ten.”

You laugh, “Oh, this isn’t ten?”

“You know this isn’t ten.” he laughs, and you smile as you look up at him.

__

“Hey,” you smile as you get to the bottom of the stairs, then you walk over and sit down when John pats the stool next to him. You lean over to see the book he’s working on, then you set your phone aside and prop your head up on your fist, “I love this cover, baby. It looks great.”

John takes a deep breath and nods as he sits back, “Yeah, it’s been fun to work on. A bit tedious with the gold flakes on the spine, but it’s a good one.”

You reach over to carefully move the book so you can see the gold on the spine, then you gasp, “This is gorgeous. They’re gonna love this.”

“Thank you. Got quite a few books done for clients. Some live not far from here, I thought you could ride along when I drop them off.” he says, and you nod your head and smile. John pats your thigh, then he leans over to kiss you, “How was lunch with Amanda? Kid-free?”

“Nope, Harper tagged along, but it was good!” you lean back and rub your belly, “Baby Wick is very happy because she got some amazing chicken -- a chicken salad. I ate like shit this morning so I figured I should eat a salad for lunch.”

John chuckles, “Balance.”

“Balance, yes. Balance because I…” you grimace as you look at John, “I so badly am craving a cheeseburger. I feel like these days all I can think about is food.”

“Hey, you and me both, and I’m not even pregnant.” John laughs, then he leans down to kiss your belly. “I’m glad you had a good lunch, baby.”

“Have you been outside today?”

John shakes his head and looks over, “No, I haven’t. Is it hot?”

“It’s like 100 degrees out,” you say as you grab your phone and look at the temperature, “Okay, not really, but it is like 80 something and there’s no breeze.”

“Wow, you must be dying.” he laughs as he gestures to your belly.

Nodding your head, you exhale loudly, “I’m certainly not thriving. Tess called me while I was out and wondered if she could come over and swim. I said yeah and told her I’d text her when I was home.”

“She knows that she can just come over and let herself in, right? I don’t mind. She even has a key to our front door. No sense in having a pool if we can’t share it with our family.”

“I told her that, but I don’t think she believes me when I say that you’re okay with her just coming over and using the pool without your permission.” you smile as John looks over at you and laughs, “As if anyone needs your permission. I’m the boss of this house.”

John leans over and kisses you several times, then he pats your cheek, “Yes, you are, baby. Hey, have you checked out the tank lately?”

“Ooh, I have not.” you get up from the stool and walk over to look at the fish tank, then you kneel down a little and look at all the bright colored fish swimming around. You grab the fish food and sprinkle a few flakes in, then you look at John to see him watching you, “They look good.”

“Yeah, I think we should get some more. How many do we have in there?”

You purse your lips and bend over to look in the tank, “Uh, I’ve counted 6.”

“Yeah, we definitely need some more.” he says, and you walk back over to sit next to him, “Maybe get some this weekend.”

John turns back to continue working on his book, then he glances up and smiles when he realizes you’re watching him. He gently brushes away the remaining gold flakes on the book and smiles as he looks at it, then he looks back at you again.

“Sorry,” you laugh as you shake your head, “I just love watching you work. I forget how…calming it is.”

“I don’t mind.” he smiles, then he leans over to kiss your cheek.

You watch John for a few more minutes as he finishes up the gold on the book, then you smile when he presses his stamp to the inside of the book. It’s always been one of your favorite parts, and you’re unsure as to why. It’s just really cute.

“Do you remember the other day when you were making me cry over everything?” you ask, and John laughs as he looks up at you.

“And you were trying to get me to cry, yes, I remember.”

You smile and grab your phone, “Well, when you were at work yesterday, I thought to myself ‘why don’t you vocalize more to John how much he means to you?’ So, I opened up my notes on my phone to write everything that came to mind. We both know that you’re good with words. You’ve always been honest with me and always told me that I make you so happy--”

“You do that too.” John says, furrowing his brow, “Baby, I know how much you love me. You tell me every day.”

“But I feel like I don’t say it enough.” you hold his gaze and smile, “I want to start being more open and vocal about it, saying cute things like you say to me. You deserve it. You deserve to hear it.”

John puts his utensils down and turns to face you, “Okay…”

“Look, you and I are number one when it comes to having our deep conversations and talking about how important we are to one another, and I love that. I truly think it’s what keeps us close.” you nod, then you laugh, “But when I opened my notes yesterday to write something to you. I noticed a note that I had written. We met in September; I wrote this about a month after we met. I didn’t even remember that I wrote it, and I hadn’t read it since I wrote it. Until yesterday.”

John sits up a little as a smile grows on his face, “Oh, I’m intrigued.”

“Keep in mind, I didn’t know everything at this point. You and I hadn’t even told each other that we loved each other yet.” you laugh, and John widens his eyes jokingly. “Yeah. Also keep in mind, I am not a poet. You wanna hear it?”

“I do. I absolutely do.”

You take a deep breath as you look down at your phone and unlock it, then you smile when John places his hand on your knee. You exhale nervously and prepare to read the note to John, and you let out a small laugh over how corny it is.

“I hung out with John again today. He’s incredible. I can’t quite put my finger on it and I can’t quite read him yet, but I like him. I like him a lot. When I’m with him, I feel…different. It’s a feeling that I’ve never felt before, it’s butterflies in my stomach from just a little glance or the softest touch, it’s my cheeks burning red when he smiles at me, it’s feeling my heart bursting in my chest when I hear his laugh. It’s…terrifying. I cannot breathe until I’m with him, and I’m quickly realizing how important this man is becoming to me. I want this feeling to last forever, and I have a feeling it will.” you look up at John and laugh when you see his eyes glassy with tears, then you look back to read it again, “I’m terrified and excited all at once, and I already know…that he is absolutely the man I am going to marry.”

John smiles when you set your phone aside, and you shrug bashfully as you hold his gaze. He leans forward and cups your face in his hands, then he shakes his head before he kisses you repeatedly.

“You wrote that about me after knowing me for a month?” he laughs, nodding his head, “Soulmates.”

“Soulmates.” you smile as you nod, then you kiss him again. “After reading that, I decided to have another little moment when I just write what comes to my head, so I gave it another go.”

John immediately nods his head and smiles, “I’d love to hear it.”

You grab your phone again, then you look up at John, “I feel like so many times we focus on whether or not I’m happy and whether I know that I’m loved, and sometimes we overlook you and whether or not you’re happy and know that you’re loved. It’s something I really need to work on, because you should always know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you and how happy you make me. Making you happy is all I truly care about, so if sometimes I don’t do a great job, just know that it’s not intentional. Just like I know you would never intentionally slack on being a good husband. We’re so lucky to have one another, and the flame that we have is never gonna fizzle out because we constantly-- sorry.”

John reaches over for a tissue and hands it to you so you can wipe away the tears on your face, and he smiles when you look up at him. He places his hands on your thighs and smiles, just waiting for you to keep going.

“The flame that we have, this love that we have, it’s never gonna fizzle out because you and I are constantly doing things to keep it lit. We’re lucky that both of us want to put in the work and both of us want to be with one another and make one another happy. Jonathan Charles Wick, you are my absolute best friend in the world, and I am so fucking lucky that I get to wake up and be loved by you, but I am even luckier because I get to wake up every day and love you.”

“Wow,” John laughs as he sits up, then he reaches over for a tissue, “Yeah, you got me.”

You smile proudly, “Yes!”

“Can I see?” he asks as he takes your phone, and you smile when he looks up at you, “It’s gone…”

Shrugging bashfully, you tap your temple and smile, “Maybe it just came off the top of my head.”

John wraps his arms around you to pull you close to his chest, then he kisses your cheek repeatedly before he sighs contently with you in his arms.

“Was all of it off the top of your head?”

You nod, then you shake your head, “Well, not the first thing I read. That really was in my notes. Along with a grocery list where I wrote that I needed condoms, which is weird since we’ve never used condoms, so the grocery list must have been before we slept together for the first time.”

John smooths your hair away from your face as he kisses you, then he smiles, “See what I mean? I am so damn lucky to have you.”

“We’re lucky to have each other.”

Nodding his head, John leans forward and presses a kiss to your lips, then he smiles softly, “No doubt about that.”

__

taglist: @aragornswife | @angie-20000 | @youusunshineyoutemptress | @sanctuarygirl | @n0ffitar | @purrrple-cat | @callmeglenncoco | @ficsnroses @that-one-writer | @tnu-ree | @midnightwhirlpool | @star017​

[mandelirious]

More Than a Feeling

din x reader; din dreams of you

word count: 2.6k

a/n: big thank you to @flora-screeches for some much-needed encouragement and to @saradika for reminding me that this song exists!

also tagging: @zinzinina (anyone else, let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

(on a personal note, i am really proud of myself for getting this done during a writing funk so i hope you enjoy!)

Din dreams about you. A lot.

It had started subtly. He’d had to stay in one place for longer than he usually liked, tracking a bounty that was proving difficult. You’d helped fix his ship, not even questioning when he’d given the standard, “No droids” stipulation. For the next few days after, the Mandalorian had seen you everywhere around town; in the market, in the bar he had taken to staking out. You were the only person there that didn’t seem intimidated by him. You started to smile when you noticed him, to wave like you were old friends. It was almost a shame when he’d caught his bounty and had to move on. After that, he’d dreamt of someone waving at him, of a feeling of being known that he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

A month later, he was in your system again. An unlucky landing had caused some damage to the Razor Crest and he tried not to think too hard about it when he steered the ship towards your settlement. A good mechanic is hard to find, right? You probably didn’t even remember him. But there you were when he walked down the ship's ramp, instantly smiling at him and saying, “You’re back.”

It was nearing the end of the day and you looked tired underneath your warm welcome. There was a smudge of grease on your forehead, no doubt from your still-messy hands and Din had the inexplicable urge to wipe it away. Thankfully he was distracted by a tottering pit droid starting for his ship. You intervened before he could even say anything, tapping the droid on its head plate. “Not this one, little dude. Finish up in the back.”

So, you’d remembered that too. That warm feeling of being known was blooming in his chest again. He was glad you couldn't see his face and the smile it held. 

You became the Razor Crest’s designated mechanic after that visit. At the same time, you became a semi-frequent visitor in Din’s dreams as he snatched a few hours of sleep between hunts. You appeared the way he was used to seeing you when awake: greasy rag in hand and usually squinting determinedly at whatever you were tinkering with. Sometimes you smiled at him, warm and friendly. Sometimes you talked, exchanging more words than he ever did with you while conscious. And sometimes, you were just there, a comforting presence in this weird dreamscape.

The year dragged on and Din had begun to feel guilty at the frequency in which his subconscious willed you to appear. It wasn’t every night, not even every week, but you always showed up again eventually–even if he hadn’t been back to see you for months. He hoped you wouldn’t mind being this for him, this phantom companion that made nights in the blackest of space a little warmer.

He blushed profusely the next time he saw you, once again grateful for the beskar hiding him from your sight. He felt like a fool–a lonely man having delusions about someone he barely knew. But your lips tilted up when you saw him, eyes brightening with recognition, and it suddenly hit him that he could know you. Your interactions didn’t have to be relegated to when he was unconscious. Din watched you move towards his ship, mind turning over what should have been an obvious next step. It had been a while since he’d tried to get to know someone. He swallowed thickly and opened his mouth. “How long have you been doing this?” His voice was rough with disuse and he waved his hands awkwardly at the garage. It wasn’t his smoothest opening.

You turned around and looked at him curiously for a moment, no doubt wondering where this sudden interest had come from. He could see that you were weighing something in your mind before your face cleared and you answered, a decision apparently made. “Long enough.” You started to walk towards the Crest again and Din tried to ignore his disappointment at your short response–he really was just delusional. He started to make his exit as you inspected the hull, but your voice stopped him. 

“I started working on swoop bikes when I was a teenager; a few of my friends raced. You can’t make a living on the amature swoop circuits so I graduated to ships. There are usually enough coming through to keep the lights on.” Your head turned towards him, almost like you were checking that he was still there. Encouraged, Din leaned back against a work table and crossed one ankle over the other. The gesture meant he was staying and he could have sworn he saw your lips quirk up at the sight. He wondered if maybe you were just as lonely as him.

It was the first time he’d stuck around while you worked on the ship and the two of you exchanged questions until the suns went down. You didn’t seem to mind his presence or his awkward, stilted questions while you made readjustments. You even let him get away with his sparse, noncommittal answers. In turn, he gave you as much time as you wanted to come up with your own. He learned that it was worth the wait to let you ponder, hands still moving skillfully inside one of the Crest’s panels. Your answers were thoughtful, genuine. Din learned your favorite foods, what holovids you’d watched as a child, and how endearingly attached you were to certain tools you’d had your whole life. That night he’d fallen asleep with a smile on his face. For the first time in a long time, he had more to look forward to than just dreams.

After a few months, Din started running out of reasons to stop by your garage. His ship was running better than it ever had thanks to your skillful repairs. He always stuck around while you worked after that first time, claiming what he started to think of as his spot leaning against your rusted workbench. Your conversation flowed more easily at every visit. Each of you were slowly letting your guards down, but never pushing for more than the other was willing to give. On his fourth visit in two months, you barely had anything left on the ship to tinker with. He could tell your hands were moving slower than usual, like you were trying to stretch out the time you had together. Neither of you acknowledged the fact that you weren’t even working on the Crest anymore, just mindlessly buffing a scorch mark off the hull as you talked. You were turned almost all of the way towards him and listening intently as he explained the engineering behind his jetpack. Your head was tilted slightly to the side as you listened and that look was starting to come over your face again. 

This look was one that was becoming familiar to Din, and he knew it meant that he’d hit on something you cared about. Your eyes would light up and he could practically see the thoughts whirling in your head. Even if you looked a little distant, he knew you were paying complete attention to his words. This look meant that you were visualizing how something worked in your mind, picturing how each piece fit together. He’d noticed it first when telling you about the Crest and some of the repairs he’d made to it himself over the years. You’d bitten your lip, a little crease appearing between your eyebrows as you drew a mental map. Din wasn’t used to having so much attention focused on him–and from you? It was addicting. Each one of his weapons had been brought out in your garage over the months as he showed them off, explaining how each worked–what their pitfalls were and what made them handle well. Sometimes you stopped what you were working on to come over and inspect what he was describing. It was obvious from your hesitancy and awkward grip that you weren’t used to weapons, but your curiosity always won out. It felt strangely intimate when he handed over a weapon for your inspection, vulnerable in a way he knew you didn’t understand–or maybe you did. Once, you’d fired a smaller blaster of his to feel the recoil. The blast had torn through a sheet of rusted metal and he’d let out an involuntary laugh at the way your eyebrows shot up your forehead. You’d handed it back gingerly and never asked to shoot one again, but your enthusiasm for learning how they worked never waned. 

As he described the propulsion of his jetpack, you finally dropped the rag in your hand and made your way towards him, immediately moving to inspect the contraption on his back. Din felt awkward suddenly, unable to see you as you prodded at the directional thrusters and asked him technical questions he could barely answer. Suddenly, he felt your hand at his elbow and it took all of his self control not to jolt away from the unexpected contact. You froze, his rigid body language giving him away, and quickly withdrew your hand.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, the most unsure he’d ever seen you as you took a step away–wringing your hands. 

“No,” Din heard himself talking before he’d gotten a chance to think about it, “it’s okay.” His arm extended and you hesitantly returned, tracing the connector from his jet pack to the hand controls. You were a tactile person–he knew that from watching you work. But knowing that and feeling it were two incredibly different things, and his mind was whirling as fingers brushed from his tricep to his wrist. The air felt different around the two of you, turning heavy and expectant as you delicately took his wrist and flipped it over. His heart was pounding, reacting to the brush of your thumb at the edge of his glove, searing even through the leather. Hand unmoving, your eyes flicked to his visor. You were searching for something and he desperately wanted to help you find it, but he was frozen in place–fixed by your gaze. A loud clang at the back of the garage made you both jump and separate, breaking whatever charge had been building in your close proximity. The pit droid stumbled out from under a pile of circuitry, shaking its head animatedly as it started to pick through the mess it had made. You chuckled and smiled at Din unsurely before returning to the ship. He let out a breath he hadn’t meant to be holding.  

Later, his dream was different when he finally drifted off. He fell headlong into it, unsure how it had started. It was all panting and slick skin spread beneath his hands. His eyes in the dream caught only snapshots–hair curling on the nape of a neck, a hand gripping the back of his thigh, urging him closer.  It was an overwhelming crash of heat and touch so vivid that he thought it had to be real. Din was utterly lost in the body pressed against him. His lips were devouring, sucking lasting marks into any accessible skin as his pleasure rose higher and higher. He was enveloped and the sensations rushed through his shaking body, only able to focus on the wet slide of joining bodies. Groaning, he was pulled impossibly closer. Hands were on his back, in his hair, grasping desperately as he tipped over the edge. It wasn’t until then that his vision cleared and he blinked, looking down to see your face. You were smiling–soft, sated, and more relaxed than he’d ever seen you. He woke up with a start to a mess on his belly, ignoring the inexplicable pang of loss.

Din couldn’t go back to see you for a few months. Bounties kept coming his way and he took all of them. He needed the credits, but there was also a part of him that wasn’t ready to face you just yet. Between your touch and the near-palpable memory of his dream, it was easier to lose himself in a string of hunts that left no time for thinking. It worked for a little while. He was too exhausted when he finally passed out to remember his dreams, and the credits in his account were growing more than they had in years. He was in the cantina again, picking up another puck that would take him across the galaxy when everything he’d been avoiding came abruptly to a head. It was a simple moment, inconsequential to the crowd of drunk patrons around him. His eyes had just happened to fall on two figures at the bar. They were leaning close, a human and a twi’lek, one woman whispering in the other's ear and making her giggle. Their hands were intertwined on top of the bar in a show of affection that was unusual for the rough atmosphere of the hunter's cantina. He watched them for a moment as they were lost in each other. The twi’lek woman was stroking a pale green thumb reverently over her lover’s fingers and suddenly Din couldn’t stop thinking. The couple continued in their own world as he practically ran for his ship, driven by a need that he still didn’t fully understand. But he wasn’t fighting it any more.

When he arrived at your garage, you were nowhere to be found. The pit droid noticed him and bounced up and down a few times before returning to its sorting. It knew better than to go near the Razor Crest. Din’s resolution was quickly fading and turning to anxiety when your head popped out of a small office he had never noticed before. Your hair was messy and grease-streaked but your smile was brilliant. 

“You came back. I thought maybe you’d found another mechanic.” Your voice was joking, but he could tell there was a bit of truth in it. He realized he hadn’t planned what he would say, too focused on just getting here in front of you. Now you were watching him, waiting expectantly for some response as the seconds dragged on. 

So he said the only thing he could think to say: “Can I buy you dinner?”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A year later and Din still dreams about you sometimes. Only, now he can open his eyes and pull you closer to nuzzle against your neck. You smell like engine oil and the sharp citrus of your shampoo. He breathes it in deeply and presses a kiss to your shoulder, feeling as you start to stir from your sleep. It’s barely morning, but time is always different on a ship speeding through the inky blackness of space. He can feel you shifting now, turning to face him and bumping your noses together softly. “Go back to sleep, c’yare,” he whispers, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“But you’re up,” was your sleepy retort, but he can see your eyes starting to flutter closed again in the dim light. Smiling, he wraps an arm around your back and holds you against his chest–feeling as your breathing slows back down in sleep. He knew why you wanted to stay up–tomorrow the Razor Crest will arrive back on your planet. Usually he wouldn’t let you fall asleep so quickly again. He would want to soak up every last moment before you both returned to your lives and waited impatiently for the next opportunity to be together. You didn’t know it yet, but this time was different. This time Din was going to ask to stay, to make a life where neither of you had to ever reach out into an empty bed again. And he was pretty sure he already knew your answer.

[citrus-simp]

Mission Log 02

A/N: This one took veerrryyyyy long, but it's here! As always enjoy and let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

Warnings; language, suggestive themes/talk, smut, short sex scene, office sex, cockpit sex(*) and yes more is to come in the future

"Day 27 on our space trip to our new home. I am Co-captain Y/N Ackerman and this is my husband Levi Ackerman. It has been 2 days since I have woken up from hypersleep, and we are still waiting on the others to wake up. Our food stock is fine, the indoor garden has recently started to bud through the dirt so that's good. I miss home a lot, so it's hard adjusting to the environment until we reach our destination. Other than that, do you have anything to add Levi?" you say looking over to your husband

"Nothing to add, just hoping Hange wakes up before the brats do. Aside from that, you said what was on my mind. This is Levi and Y/N Ackerman signing off." the screen goes black and the log is saved into the files. You lean back in your chair and huff air out of your lungs

"You feeling okay?" Levi said pulling your chair closer to his "is there too much space?"

"Hey you never make jokes, are you sure you're not an alien disguised as my husband?" you smile placing a kiss on his cheek

"Yes I'm sure, but really are you alright?" he asked. He's been very concerned over you ever since you've woken up. He's been very attentive and alert about your well-being, your health, everything—more than usual if anything. Maybe he was right……

“I’m fine….maybe the whole Space, ship, and cargo and hypersleep thing are getting to be a little….I’m okay though.” You smile at him "now come on we have lots of work to do and things to check."

This was routine to do at least once a month. You checked on food supply, the fragile future you were carrying, the crew who was still dormant, and of course everyone else who was awake. Sometimes you checked the engine just to make sure and the cargo bay in case something was out of place. Today was a bit strange since there was something going on in the cargo bay. The lights had gone out.

"Do you think you can check on it and make sure it's nothing major that needs fixing at the moment?" Erwin asked

"Yeah, I got it."

"Levi, I need you to go and refresh our systems for temperature control."

"Whatever you say eyebrows." he shrugged "be careful in the cargo," he said giving your cheek a kiss

"Well he's more protective than usual" Erwin commented as his eyes didn't leave the main monitor

"I think it's just the whole space thing, and having to recolonize and all this," you said motioning to the ship as a whole "anyway let's go get those lights back on"

Walking down the quiet vessel you lose yourself in the quietness. It was weird, you knew at the moment there were only 3 of you awake but.....you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Sure there were cameras but Erwin wasn't stalking you. You just felt like a pair of extra eyes were watching your every move so far.

You come to the steps of the cargo bay where it was pitch black. You turned on your flashlight and shine it into the darkness. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, everything was in place. From the door frame, you could see the power panel in the back as if glowed red in the darkness. You sigh and carefully make your way down the steps, shining light on each step on the way down.

Being in the dark didn't help settle your thoughts of being watched. You walk as quickly as you could to the back of the bay and tap away at the panel.

"Come on, come on," you whisper to yourself as the system booted up again.

*taptaptaptap* You quickly spin around as you heard a quick step run past. Your breathing hitched, and your heart banged against your chest.

"Levi? Levi if that's you stop fucking around" you say out into nothingness. Dead silence.......it was uncomfortable. You could hear your own pulse in your ears. Your stomach was doing flips and your eyes desperately trying to find the source of the sound. *taptaptaptaptap* There it was again. That was it. You had to get out of there.

Looking back at the panel there was still about 35% to go "Shit, shit!" your flashlight flickers as if it wanted to die on your right there and then.

"Come on you gotta be kidding me, fuck!" you curse as you smack your flashlight against your palm. Your heart raced and your eyes started to water from the increasing anxiety. The panel reached 50% and it was enough for you to start running back to the stairs. You ran as fast as you could, running into the corner of some boxes, sure to leave a bruise. Finally starting up the stairs just as you were halfway up a burning sensation appeared on your leg. You hiss at the pain and keep going. You finally reach the door and slam it shut. You pant as you lean against the door trying to calm yourself. Looking down at your leg you had 3 long cuts across your ankle.

"Fuck......what the hell was down there?" you ask yourself still in shock

"Y/N, I got the temperature fixed, and guess who- Y/N! What happened?!" Levi jogged to you once he saw your condition and how scared you were "Did you cut yourself down there?"

"No! Someone-something was down there with me. I-I don't know what it was. T-then the flashlight w-wanted to die on me and-and I got cut b-by something" you try and explain through a shaky voice as tears run down your face. Levi wipes away your tears, hating to see you this shaken up.

"Okay first let's get you cleaned up, some water and then I'll go down there and see exactly what was down there" taking one of your arms around his neck he helps you to the med bay to get the cuts cleaned and wrapped. You sit on the examination table as e tries to clean your wounds carefully. He disinfects them and wraps them up. He wanted to believe that you were just clumsy and hit a sharp box....but those cuts were too big. You were scared out of your mind and you didn't scare easily. Hopefully, it was something like a raccoon that got on.

"I want you to stay off your feet for at least today alright? I'll talk to Erwin" he kissed your forehead and embraced you to try and bring you some comfort. You were calmer than you were before but he knew you were still shaken up.

"So is Y/N not awake just yet?" well that wasn't Erwin's voice. Could it be?! In poked the head of your best friend and coworker, Hange Zoe. The mad scientist who was also on the ship with you and your husband. She also happened to be the one who introduced you to your stoic husband. She waltzed in fresh out of the shower, you wanted to stand and greet her but Levi kept you on the table.

"Aww, you got hurt without me? No fair!" she whined coming over to hug you tightly "but it's always good to see my best friend. Has Levi treated you well since I've been asleep?" she whispered to you as she hugged you. Levi simply sighed at the obvious question. Even after being asleep for months on end, she was still the same Hange you remember.

"Well, I'll let you two get back to what you were doing while I get familiar with the ship." she smiled and waved goodbye. At least her small visit made you forget about the event that happened beforehand. The room emptied and it was only your and Levi once again.

"Come on, I'll take you to our room and I'll go and check what's down there." he picked you up and held you tightly against him. If anyone thought he was being overly protective he was. They were in space for crying out loud and now look what happened. He really didn't have anyone besides you, Erwin, and Hange, and you were closest to his heart than anyone. He only wanted you safe and happy.

After laying you down to rest he took it upon himself to investigate what had happened. He went into the cargo bay which was back up and running. There was one box out of place which you had run into, but nothing out of the ordinary. A few drops of blood on the steps from where you had gotten hurt. Everything seemed normal but there was nothing on the steps that could have hurt you.....so how? He'd make sure this wouldn't be on your tasks for the next time.

Later on, it was almost normal again. All 4 of you were around the table enjoying some drinks, stories, and good laughter. Hange especially enjoyed Levi when he drank since he became so out of character. He was very loving and affectionate with you and it was just interesting to see since he usually is only like that behind closed doors.

"Hey promise me, something guys, once we land and have things settled, let's do this again, only not in space" you offered as you raise your glass

"Promise," they all said in unison as you clink your glasses together and drink to your promise

"So," Hange starts "What's sex in space like?"

You spat out your drink and nearly choked on your drink "HANGE!"

"WHAT?! I'm curious about it in 0 gravity!" she expressed

"Hey, the genius we have artificial gravity on the ship" Levi answered back to shut down her topic

"Pst Erwin," she "whispered" behind her hand "The next time they're in their room turn off the gravity"

"I can hear you, idiot," Levi informed her while pulling you closer to him

"Alright everyone settle down, it's time to rotate positions," Erwin said "Y/N You have navigation for the next shift then Hange will switch out with you since she's familiar with the controls. I also understand Levi would want to be there with you." he announced, "If anything happens you may find me in my room for anything at all."

"G'night Erwin"

"Night eyebrows" Levi waved as you both stood up and head to the cockpit. Meanwhile, Hange went to get familiar and set up her lab for research. You made sure the ship was still on track, the temperature was stable, cameras were working, engines were fine and the gas was still full and wouldn't have to be attended to for at least a few weeks. You clear out the panel and gaze out into the infinite emptiness that held all the stars and more. You thought over how things have gotten to where they are now.

From space to a new planet, with 100 embryos to care for and protect. You would think of those embryos and about the dream you had while you were asleep. You had always wanted kids with Levi...so why would you not want the pregnancy in the dream? It felt strange too..like it wasn't yours...something else

"Hey, if it makes you feel better I went down into the cargo bay and took a look around," he said seeing that you were staring off into space-literally.

"Thank you, Levi, I think I just don't want to talk about it anymore" you smile "...but could you indulge me in something?" you asked spinning in your chair

"What? do you want to turn off the gravity?" he teased you

*"Well, the gravity will stay on but," you clicked a button that made a lock sound, locking the door "but I do want to try out a fantasy I've had"

"In here?" he asked raising an eyebrow "you know we did try this back on Earth in my office but now you wanna do it in space?" he chuckled spinning his chair to face you. You stand up and walk over to straddle his lap

"Well the crew is asleep, Hange is busy and the door is locked," his hands automatically come to sit on your hips. You could already feel him through his pants. You had to admit even tho you were asleep you can tell just how long it's been.

"I missed you" he huffed under his breath as your lips come closer to his

"Well...I'm here now" your lips crash in a fiery and passionate kiss. It felt familiar yet new like you were kissing for the first time ever. You felt yearning and want in the pit of your stomach. You wanted him but you also wanted to give yourself to him as well. Clothes were torn off, marks were left, hair was messed up.

You found yourself soon bouncing on Levi's lap bringing you both the pleasure you so desperately craved. You were so tight on him, yet it was a perfect fit and he stretched you perfectly while still feeling comfortable and familiar.

"fuck Levi, right there" you threw your head back as rocked against him hitting every spot possible. "Ugh so good!"

"Yeah..that's the spot..there?!" he panted thrusting upward into you meeting you halfway with filling the room with lewd sounds. Moans, pants, skin against skin, anyone would think you might have been watching porn. Levi then stood up and carefully sat you on the control panel. You skin being illuminated by blue light form below made you look like an angel... a dirty one at best. He slams himself back Into you spreading your legs apart to get to where you really need it. His skilled thumb finding your clit as he runs gentle circles

“N-never again….never that long again. Fuck! Y/N...I love you” he exclaims as you feel him twitch inside of you, you following soon after.

This was definitely an experience. You have heard of sex under the stars but takes it to a whole new level. You sat on the control panel looking up and out into space trying to catch your breath. Levi's forehead resting on your collarbone, leaving small pecks here and there. A small thank you and sorry for the past actions you both part-took in.

"Any more fantasies I should know about?" he asked making you laugh

"Well, I'll let you know if any new ones pop up" you answer back.

After cleaning, your small mess you both went back to your assigned shift. In the meantime, you used the large screen to look back on memories before you had left for this. Levi had made sure to save your wedding tape so you could have it no matter what planet you go to. You watch as your younger selves dance to your song. No matter how many people were in the room, at that moment you would look into Levi's eyes and only see him in the room.

Space was something unknown, and terrifying, but you weren't scared because you had Levi.

"Hey, why is the door locked.......OH-!" you hear Hange's voice behind the locked door. "COME ON GUYS I'M TOUCHING THE PANEL NEXT I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH LEVI'S JIZZ!!!!" you honestly couldn't help but laugh at the scientist. You unlock the door and try not to smile at Hange and blow your cover.

"You guys couldn't wait till I was done? Jeez," she chuckled and heard the tune that was playing on loop "Oh man your wedding song, I remember that. I also remember drinking too much...Hey Y/N, why don't you get some rest? I'll cover for you. Promise I won't keep Levi here too long" she offered with a smile

"Well, I am kinda sleepy, thanks Hange." you stand up and kiss Levi on the cheek "Night guys." you wave making your way to your room to get some well-deserved rest.

As soon as you left Hange's smile fell "Levi, something isn't right.." she said in a serious tone. "I ran some tests and I thought the system may be a little screwed up but it's picking up 5 awake crew members. The only ones I know are awake right now are you, Y/N, Erwin, and myself."

"What so....you're saying there might be someone or something on board with us?" he asked crossing his arms. "And could have that extra thing be what attacked Y/N? Maybe it's some rodent that got on Hange"

"I don't know yet...but it goes deeper than that. One of the pods was already open and empty...and it looked like it had been that way for a while. It was in the back row and barely noticeable. Y/N, already had a scare so I didn't want to tell her and make her worried." she explained

If someone did get out of the pod...why hadn't Levi seen them yet? Were they the ones who hurt you? He never kept anything from you, but you didn't need any more stress than what you had already. Even if he had to do this on his own, he'd get to the bottom of this.

But just what or who was on the ship with them?

Prev Next->

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🏷 Taglist -> @happygalaxymilkshake @midaribaby @levisbrat25 @araveticazx @captainchrisstan @bakaide @ally22042000 @ravensleepyeyes @theonethatsimps @leiaausmus

🏷 Taglist -> @happygalaxymilkshake @midaribaby @levisbrat25 @araveticazx @captainchrisstan @bakaide @ally22042000 @ravensleepyeyes @mysteriousmagicx @sugarysweets-appreciation-blog @leiaausmus

[frostedfaves]

Naive (3)

Masterlist

Pairing: demon!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: You pick up on the lies in Wanda’s life and she decides to show you the truth.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dark!fic, demon things™️, more hints at dom/sub because I’m a whore for demon!Wanda

A/N: I can’t believe that it’s been a month since I posted the last one 😭 I have some things planned for the next part and so on but I also kinda wanna take requests again??? idk we all know how I get overwhelmed easily with that so we’ll see what happens there. anyway tell me your thoughts on this please!

Previous part

Waking up feels like gasping for air after being trapped underwater. You aren’t sure how long you were asleep, but the mid afternoon traffic quickly alerts you of how much of the day has passed. 

Despite your head feeling like it’s made of cement, you manage to stand up, slipping off thin pajamas as you walk into the bathroom and stop at the mirror. Your skin seems tender in places and you’re a little bit startled when there isn’t a single indication of the bite marks and scratches you feel, even after rubbing your eyes a few times and turning in every direction possible. Deciding to let it go for now, you reach for the shower stall to turn on the water, detouring to the bedroom instead when you hear your phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“You didn’t save my number, did you?”

“Wanda?” You pull the phone away long enough to quickly clear your throat. “I mean hey, Wanda! What makes you think I didn’t save your number?”

“You answered like you didn’t know who was going to be on the other end.”

“Okay, you caught me,” you admit after a moment of silence. “I promise I’ll save it as soon as we hang up. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Remember that pet adoption center you pointed out to me?” You acknowledge her with a hum. “I was thinking about getting a cat…Wanna tag along?”

“Absolutely! I was just about to shower though so I can be ready in an hour or so.”

“Perfect! I’ll text you when I’m outside.”

The two of you say your goodbyes and you keep your promise of saving her number, typing in her name and hesitating on the emoji keyboard. Realizing you’d spent far too much time contemplating this, you simply save what you have and hurry back to the bathroom, something in your brain urging you to not keep her waiting.

-

Within an hour, she sends you a text in all caps and a smiley face that tells you she’s arrived, and you can’t hide the fact that you’re surprised when you come outside and she’s waiting on the passenger side of the car.

“Hey! How are you?” she greets cheerily as she approaches you with a hug, and you shiver when her hand touches your lower back. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m okay.” You smile and thank her when she opens the door for you, attempting to collect yourself as she crosses to the driver’s side again. “I’m really happy to see you again.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly as she pulls away from the curb. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No no, I just didn’t want to assume you were enjoying our time together as much as I was.”

She places her hand over yours while she glances at you, smiling as she squeezes your fingers and thigh lightly. You feel a rush of something traveling from the places she touched to your brain, only slightly aware of the fog settling in your mind.

“Well I didn’t want to be too enthusiastic about it and scare you away if all you wanted was friendship,” you clarify, meeting her eyes when she reaches a red light.

“I suppose you’re looking for more too, then.”

“I am now.”

The light turns green and she breaks eye contact, but the little smirk that follows tells you everything you need to know. At least, you hope it does.

-

“I think he’s the cutest one we’ve seen yet,” you comment about the kitten that hasn’t looked away from Wanda since you approached his area. “He seems really drawn to you, too.”

“How did he get the name ‘Baby Satan’?” Wanda inquires with an employee, who approaches you with a chuckle.

“It’s actually Baby Stan, because we used to have an adult cat named Stan as well and needed to tell the two apart. We were going to give him a new name but decided to leave that up to his new family.”

“It says ‘Baby Satan’ though,” you cosign with Wanda, gesturing to the extra A mixed in with the magnetic letters that spell the kitten’s name.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how that got there,” the employee apologizes as she reaches over to fix the sign, and you watch her freeze as Wanda touches her arm.

“Don’t be sorry. Keep it; I want to adopt him.”

“Okay, right this way,” the employee mumbles as she turns awkwardly and stumbles over to a desk, and as the two of you follow her, you look back to see Baby Satan still staring at the woman beside you.

“What was that about?” you speak up finally once you’re in the car with her new furry friend, and Wanda frowns at you while fastening her seatbelt.

“What?”

“Why did that employee react to you like that? You touched her and she started acting really weird after.”

“Oh, Kim’s fine!” she assures you as she fixes her mirror before pulling out of the parking lot. “I actually asked her about that while you were looking at scratching posts and she said I’d overstepped her boundaries and made her uncomfortable. Don’t worry, I apologized and everything’s good again.”

“She told you her name?”

“She was wearing a name tag, babe.”

Babe...that’s new. Still, the sudden nickname doesn’t completely distract you from the fact that you’re certain there was no name tag on Kim’s uniform. You’re debating with yourself about bringing this up when you notice her heading toward Lane County.

“Are you taking me to your house?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” She glances at you and over her shoulder toward Baby Satan before turning back to the road. “I figured I could introduce both of my kittens to the place they’ll be spending a lot of time in.”

Her fingers brush over your knee as “my kittens” leaves her lips, and you’re almost embarrassed when your hips involuntarily buck slightly. Noticing the small change in your behavior, she takes advantage of your head turned toward your own window and allows her instincts to continue driving while she stares at you, placing her palm on your thigh and rubbing circles on the fabric covering it that brings her closer and closer to your core.

“Home, sweet home,” Wanda announces as she pulls her wandering hand away to park the car, jumping out a second later and grabbing her furry son from the backseat. “Hey there, Baby S.”

You step out of the car in a similar fashion of pulling yourself out of a swimming pool, taking in the fresh air and trying to relax yourself as you follow her into the apartment building. The hallways reflect the quiet and clean neighborhood as you make your way into the elevator and up to the 6th floor, suddenly entering the most empty apartment you’ve ever seen.

Of course there’s furniture: a couch with a TV mounted on the nearest wall, a dining table with a set of matching chairs, a few stools placed at the island and kitchen appliances that are shiny and new. But there isn’t any personal artwork, posters, books or even just a lamp that you could tell Wanda purchased herself with one glance.

“Are you staying in an AirBNB or something?” you ask as she carefully places Baby Satan’s carrier next to the couch, and she chuckles.

“I guess technically it was one before I moved in, but I’ve been here for two years.”

“Okay...so where are your pictures?”

“What?”

“Where are your pictures?” you repeat, maintaining a steady voice despite the expression she gives you as she faces you again. “Pictures of your family, friends, you as a child?”

“If you knew my family, you’d understand why you don’t see them here.” She startles you by practically growling her words but you press further.

“Okay but you also said you love plants and we’re the only living things in here.” You step back to put more space between you while quiet shuffling noises are heard inside the carrier. “What’s really going on here?”

You can easily spot the shift in Wanda’s emotions: going from defensive, arms crossed and eyes glaring to resigned with slightly sagging shoulders and a defeated sigh.

“Fine, you got me.” She bends over to pick up the carrier again and passes you on her way to the door, stopping a few feet away. “If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship with me, then I should probably show you my real home.”

“I don’t know...”

“Come on, love.” She comes just close enough to bring your hand into hers and a tingle spreads through your body, causing you to pull away but her grip only tightens. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you, and this is the only time I’ve lied.”

You find yourself being drawn closer to her, and an almost familiar feeling washes over you when her thumb begins rubbing gentle circles into your jaw. The metal on her ring is so cold it almost burns upon contact, yet you nuzzle into her more with each pass along your skin.

“Don’t you want to be good for me without being forced to your knees first?”

If the fog surrounding your consciousness wasn’t so thick, you might’ve been shocked by this side of her, so calm yet demanding you serve her. But the hand on your jaw seemed to cover every inch of your body and sink into your nervous system, forcing you to fall into her and let her lead you back to the car with a simple arm around your waist. You’re buckled into the passenger seat again and a slightly blurry grin greets you from behind the wheel seconds later.

“I can’t wait to make you mine.”

Your head falls against the car window as she drives to the edge of Lane County, and your altered vision picks up on businesses turning into isolated suburbs into grassy fields into forests. You travel along narrow, winding roads past the tallest of trees with very few spaces in between, and your hazy state of mind prevents you from panicking when Wanda turns onto a dirt path that doesn’t even seem to be safe for bicycles. The wheels bump along the forest floor until she comes to a stop just outside of a two foot dwelling, similar to a cave.

Once the two of you are out of the car again, she holds your hand with her free one until you reach the cave, instructing you to sit in front of it while she does the same. She places her palm on the door, and her rings seem to come alive as they interact with it for a few moments before it swings open and the three of you are sent flying through a tunnel. You land with a groan on the hard floor and dust yourself off as you carefully stand, any questions dying in your throat as you face Wanda again, now standing before you in her true form.

“Welcome home.”

[katya-goncharov]

My Ultimate List of Dreamhunter Fics

These are some of my favourite Claire/Kaia stories I've read so far! I absolutely loved all of these, and some of them are really underrated, so go and check them out!

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27K words) - A finale fix-it where Claire goes missing and Kaia and Dean go on a road-trip together to find her. I love Kaia's characterisation in this, and it explores the parallels between Dreamhunter and Destiel really well.

graceful. by PorcelainCas (56K words) - set around early season 14. Claire wakes up in hospital to find that months have passed without her memory and Kaia is mysteriously still alive. This one's got a really good plot, with lots of exciting twists and turns!

The Pieces We Pick Up by sobsicles (10K words) - A 14.03 coda and fix-it. Claire runs off to confront Dark Kaia, and Dean, Cas and the rest of them have to find her. Like every sobsicles fic, this one is brilliant and well worth reading!

Moondust by sidesketches (AngelwingsandDemonthings) (4K words) - Reunion fic from Kaia's POV. This one was an absolute joy to read - really touching and well-written!

buzzcut season by cherryvamp (1.5K words) - Claire helps Kaia cut her hair for her after a hunt. I absolutely love the way Claire and Kaia are portrayed in this, it's definitely one of my favourites!

Look Into My Dreams by angelofthequeers (3.5K words) - Kaia comforts Claire after a nightmare and the two of them bond under the stars. This is one of my absolute favourites - it has such a good understanding of Claire & Kaia's characters!

I'll Be Home For Christmas by MittenWraith (3.5K words) - a Christmas story! Claire & Kaia get stranded in the snow on a hunt, and have to stay at the bunker over Christmas. This is a really wholesome, feel-good story!

Denim by xoxoMouse (2K words) - "The inherent protection of a denim jacket and the inherent vulnerability that comes with sharing it." - another one I absolutely loved, it's got a really good grasp on Claire's backstory & feelings, and is really sweet at the same time!

Words of the Heart by Fandom_Stuff (2K words) - Claire comes out to Cas. This is just a really sweet and touching little fic!

On Being Careful by Shyspyder (7K words) - Claire and Kaia coffee-shop AU!

Accidentally Finding You by pherryt (3K words) - AU where Kaia is an author being treated badly at a book-signing where Claire's dad works. Claire helps her to get her own back!

Wayward by Shyspyder (ongoing; 10k words so far) - Claire and Kaia are reunited after Kaia's return from the Bad Place and go hunting werewolves together.

Wayward AF by FunnyWings (57K words) - a series of episodic Wayward Sisters stories. This is the Wayward Sisters series we all wish we'd had - there's loads of really good plotty Claire/Kaia stuff, and also some great storylines for the other sisters (plus Wendy!). Well worth reading if you're still mourning the actual show never happening!

Had to Go Away to Find Home by 5pm, hazelNuts (8.5k words) - "A canon-divergent AU where Claire is the one who meets Kaia and introduces her to the bigger supernatural world."

No Better Thing by theirprofoundbond (6k words) - Claire and Kaia go away to a cabin for the weekend together. This is just such a sweet story, which really goes into the bond Claire and Kaia have with each other.

meteor site (our hearts collision) by sobsicles (3k words) - yet another sobsicles fic, this one focused solely on Claire and Kaia, set after Kaia's return from the bad place. This one is beautifully written, and an absolute must-read for any dreamhunter fan.

I'd Do Anything For Love by BleedingInk (14.5k words) - Claire and Kaia are forced to confront their feelings for each other after Alex and Patience are hit by a love potion. Just as a warning, this one's set post-canon and IS finale compliant, but it's a really fun read anyway and the Claire/Kaia content is perfection!

The Setup To A Bad Joke by Ophelia_Yvette (4k words) - Galaxy Brain au where Claire steals the impala to save Kaia. This one has everything we deserved but didn't get in the actual episode

my favorite tape by showedupatyourparty (ongoing; 1k words so far) - Claire and Kaia, through the years. This one's short so far but it's so well-written and I can already tell it's going to be a classic

Bonus (shameless self-promotion): I feel bad about advertising my own stuff, but I am currently working on Butterfly Effect (Ongoing; 53.5K words so far), a dream-hunter centric finale fix-it where it's up to Kaia and Claire to save Dean and Cas from their horrible canonical endings!

Further bonus: these aren't dreamhunter as they're mostly Claire-focused, but they're so good that they deserve to be on the list!

The Most Important Thing by NorthernSparrow (94K words)- Set during an alternate season 10; goes into the complex relationship between Claire and Castiel so well. No Kaia in this one obviously, but it's the ultimate Claire fic for me and an absolute must-read if you're a fan of her!

hope, love, glory by showedupatyourparty (14K words) - finale fix-it where Claire and Jack team up to save Dean and Cas. I have yet to read the last chapter, but I am loving this so far!

all kinds of weather (we stick together) by deanspurpleflannel (20k words) - Claire and Emma go on a roadtrip to find Dean and Cas. The ultimate roadtrip fic - this is such a genuinely enjoyable one to read and just the right balance between fun and emotional

Sorry the list isn't that long - Claire/Kaia fics are quite difficult to find (mostly because of AO3's weird tagging system!). There are definitely a lot more out there though, so if anyone knows of any other good ones, let me know! I'll update the list as I read more (so if you're liking/reblogging make sure it's the latest version!).

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

hi can i please request one where levi's s/o is sort of like him in personality but just melts whenever theres a baby. like she'll see a baby in town and will go from silent and moody to the heart eyes emoji but a person, or she'll babysit her neice or nephew or cousin and will be just so loving and bubbly? like its obvious that she wants to be a mum but she never brings it up because she doesnt think he wants kids and eventually they get pregnant + his reaction? sorry if this is too much (1/2)

ΑΝΟΟΟΟΝ IM BLUSHING THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really loved this request and it inspired me so I pushed before others because I had to get it out of my system. I hope you like this. It's super duper long also👉👈

Warnings: uhh pregnancy, mentions of anxiety

Tags: fluff, domestic Levi, pregnancy, modern au

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Baby Fever

Your heartbeat grew louder with each passing second as Mike abused the door with one too many knocks. You didn't know if you could talk, or breath or do anything other than vomiting though this time from the anxiety building at the pits of your stomach and not due to your very recent event of morning sickness.

"Are you alright in there?"

You choke on your own voice as you try to huff a single response. It's not really up to your judgement of you're alright or not but rather in the small white object's that rests between the thumbs and pointer fingers of each of your hands. You contemplate if there's a way to not raise any more suspicion to the blond male, you're at his house for all that matters. Nanaba called you to take care of their their twins and you happily complied to your half sister's pleas because Mike had a very important job interview. Life had taken a toll on him lately, they couldn't afford a babysitter and he was just recently fired due to his company having to cut down expenses thanks to the pandemic. Amidst this pandemonium he had to find a way to provide for his family and help Nanaba with at least a short monthly salary. So babysitting your beloved niece and nephew wasn't much of a problem. Not until now.

At first it hadn't bothered you that your period was late, you had accepted the pcos lifestyle the hard way ever since you first got it. You would track down your period in hopes you could ever predict when it would come again but it always seemed to surprise you. Sometimes it would come in a months notice only to take four months to do a full circle. At twenty three, this was the most positive outturn as a resolution to your problem. Levi was pushing you to eat healthy and exercise to get a better grip of your situation, even though you knew it was in vain. And thus, overall it didn't bother you that you hadn't had your period still, fatigue and breast inflammation were also common problems due to hormonal abnormalities so you chose not to pay any attention to those early signs either.

What had driven you to urge Levi to drop you off to the drugstore next to Nanaba's house though was that you've been having symptoms of morning sickness for almost a week now, that you had tried to push aside for Levi not to notice. He would quarantine you on your on your own and go stay with Erwin and Hange had he any suspicion of you being down with the stomach flu. The stomach flu though didn't feel like that and you knew, you had been through it one too many times, this was something different and yet you cursed at yourself for overthinking it. You had bought the pregnancy test as something that was supposed to turn out negative, as a positive resolution that you weren't pregnant and that you should quest for whatever it was that was making your stomach turn and twist every morning.

Upon finally opening the door in an attempt not to delay Mike who wanted to attend his interview, the blond male inspected your form with a harsh gaze. "You shouldn't push yourself if you're sick. We could call my mother to watch over Eli and Blaire."

"No." You pushed it off. "I'm fine Mike, it's probably that weird mushroom soup I ate yesterday, Levi insisted on not buying it but I didn't listen."

"I see." Mike said scrunching his nose at the process. Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well that he could even smell you lying, but he was Nanaba's childhood friend before her mother married your father and had you; you had practically grown up with the blond duo so for all you knew, even if he was certainly aware that you were lying he didn't push things further. He simply placed a hand on your shoulder, the brother like nature of his touch as assuring as one can be. "If you need anything call me, I'll answer as soon as possible, drink lots of water and don't wear yourself down."

You bore your eyes into his and nodded simply. Mike greeted the twins with reluctance and let out a sigh before fixing his suit perfectly on his shoulders. The small kids smiled bubbly in return and waved at their father enthusiastically. As soon as the door closed and their father got out of sight both children jumped on you with loud giggles. The act alone was enough to curl your lips into an upward position.

By noon you had fed and lulled the kids to sleep, earning some significant time to sink into the crevices of the feathery soft sofa before Nanaba came back from her shift. As tiring as Eli and Blaire were you enjoyed their teeny company. You didn't mind their lack of ability to form full understandable sentences yet, you loved how they didn't even try to spare a second thought on what they bubbled on about and you did your best to provoke them to speak correctly. They would open their arms for you, their tiny palms signaling you to take them into long affectionate hugs as they called a baby spoken version of your nickname and you would melt at it every single time. Everyone knew you much you loved the chubby cheeked sweethearts, as much as it contrasted with your usual demeanor. There was something that truly made you feel like the best version of yourself when you were around them.

Babies seemed to be a hot topic in your group of friends for a couple of months now, ever since you started helping Nanaba in the house before Mike got fired. Levi seemed very unbothered by the subject in a way that saddened you almost; sure, you might have talked about it in the past, being that he was a little older than you and he might have understood that you longed to be a mother one day, but that was as far as that one conversation had gone. He still had that bored, stoic gaze that slipped off of yours when you would encounter a baby in the street, whereas you would basically make heart eyes and weird grimaces to any infant he would just click his tongue and avert his gaze away, to any other direction as if he disapproved off your fondness.

That memory alone left you hollowing inside as you recalled of the two very much pink lines on the screen of the test this morning. Naturally you would check with a doctor before jumping to conclusions, there still was a chance that the test was at fault and you wanted to bet on simply that. If the case was that you were actually pregnant though things were more complicated than you wanted them to be. For instance you were still in University, for your last year at that, but you had excessive amounts of studying to get your hands on your degree and Levi was cornered and ready to be squished by his job for being a vice president, which was unfair as he worked for Erwin. You understood the situation though as Erwin was struggling to keep the company going especially through these rough rough times. There was also the fact that you were terrified of Levi asking you to put the baby down, with pcos wearing your system down you were panicking that you wouldn't have a chance to conceive a baby later on. What if this was your only chance? You've always longed to be a mother so it didn't matter that it came to you this early right?

The sound of the front door clicking open shook you off your thoughts immediately. For better or for worse it was Nanaba that had finally returned, eager to strip herself of her clothes and face mask and run to the bathroom. She offered you small greeting to which you only nodded, your tired mind ordering your eyes to find comfort at small shapes in the ceiling. You didn't know how long your sister took in the bathroom, but judging by the lack of giggling coming from the babies' room you supposed it wasn't for long.

"You want to wait for Levi to come pick you up or should I give you a ride home when Mike's back? He should be home soon!" She spoke as she poured water in a red metallic boiler.

"I'll just walk. I need some air."

Nanaba emitted a soft hum in response "Are you alright? You seem off."

"Oh no." You brushed her off "I was just thinking about what I should wear at Erwin and Hange's anniversary dinner next week, and what gift to buy Levi now that his birthday is coming."

"Good, I see, just don't stress alright?"

___

The way home was longer than you had initially remembered, whether it was for your inability to walk with a steady pace or mostly because it was already getting dark and cold. You wondered if Levi would be getting home by now as you neared the apartment complex the two of you resided in. By the looks of your illuminated window he was already home as expected of him this certain hour. It probably was one of those days when he didn't have a strict deadline to attend to, which, under normal circumstances, only meant more cuddles and kisses for you. Yet, tonight was different.

"Hey Levs" Your voice lingered in his brain the moment you stepped inside.

"Hey brat, welcome home." The kiss you left on his cheek as you hurriedly headed to the bathroom was different, off almost, and he picked up on it immediately. "Did Nanaba drop you off? I had asked Mike to come by tonight, he said he'd bring some tea leaves he bought for me."

He leaned at the frame of the door as he watched you wash every crevice of your face thoroughly, paying enough attention to the insides of your outer nasal cavity. He was pretty meticulous about hygiene and especially at times like these with a hole pandemic going on he wasn't taking any chances, you knew, plus you were kind of disgusted of germs lately yourself, you thought you finally understood where he was coming from. He took a few steps ahead, away from your body in search of a clean face towel to hand out to you when you were done. You have it to him, even if he seemed cold as stone that domestic lifestyle was mesmerizing to you.

"Thanks baby, you're the best." You half smiled.

"You good?"

At this point you wondered if you seriously we're so easy to read. You supposed you were off, but you were always off and unresponsive to many things so what exactly was it about today that made everyone know you had a conflict in your mind.

"Yeah I'm just tired, I walked here."

Levi clicked his tongue at that "Nanaba's home is very far away from here, have a shower and I'll rub your legs and feet." With eyes that never left yours Levi watched as your face lit up a little more, he gave you a tiny of a smile on return.

"You prooomise Levs?" You knew teasing with him could only lead to one thing, yet you did it shamelessly.

"Tch, of course, hurry up, I'm making pancakes with eggs and bacon."

Normally at the very sound of this particular food your eyes would water and your mouth would drool but the unresponsive nature of your expression only sent a new wave of worry through Levi's chest. As much as he had wanted to convince himself you were just tired, he couldn't, not after this reaction to your favorite snack. He decided not to push you into saying anything you didn't want to though. Maybe it was that enormous amount of notes you had to memorize for your next exams in addition to your fatigue and any hormonal altercations.

"Yeah" you trailed off "babe, about that, can we have cocktail shrimp? And maybe fried rice and fries? Pretty pretty please?"

Ah, there it was. Although it was a rare occasion for you not to be in the mood of his infamous pancakes, you could still have a few different cravings from time to time. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he proceeded your order trying to figure of where he should order from, last night's mushroom soup had messed your stomach up, that he knew, but you seemed to be fine now so in theory that should be enough to prevent him from whining out his concerns.

As he closed the door to the bathroom he hummed his favorite tune to himself, softly enough as not to disturb you with your bath. He picked up his phone from the kitchen table with ease before collapsing on the couch, there was a limit to what his body could take and he had surpassed that by far these past few months. Endless deadlines that took turns one after another and extra hours at the office had been killing him, mentally and physically, making him a little more grumpy than usual. In great addition his back ached, his fingers were sore and his mind felt like canned alphabet soup every single night. Perhaps, seeing him in this state was taking a toll on you as well; you were always so protective over him, almost like a mother to her child, despite being younger, and he if he had to, he'd admit he enjoyed it a little too much than he should have.

When you came out of the bathroom he gazed over you briefly, you were sitting before the end of the dresser, standing in front of the full body mirror, examining your form. He seemed to be puzzled by your demeanor once again. Normally, or up until yesterday, you would have immediately shot out to where he was seated at to plough into his arms with wet hair, only to slightly irritate him for getting him wet, not that he didn't enjoy to smell your fresh scent anyway, but it was a game of routine for you by now. It was almost as if you were seeking to be scolded at for not rushing to dry your hair. He always wanted you as healthy as ever.

You couldn't shake off your head how soft Levi's chest is. There probably wasn't a reason as to why he's sleeping shirtless tonight, your apartment was very warm, given that it was the start of December already, but you didn't complain. The feeling of creamy, milky soft skin, perfectly excused by any coarse hair was slowly putting you to sleep. You loved how Levi was so soft everywhere you touched, it was so unlike what the world perceived of him, maybe your baby's skin was going to be as smooth and perfect as his and not as dry and oily as yours. Of course the baby's skin was going to be soft, ugh and those little arms and legs, you couldn't lie to your self, deep down you were just a tad excited to have a baby, if it meant that it would look like Levi you wouldn't want to give up on it for the world.

"Levi, does Kenny keep baby pictures of you?"

"What?" The onyx haired male raised a brow at your inquiry but didn't give you enough time to repeat yourself before he answered. "My mother had so many pictures of me so I guess that it's natural that he has some and well there probably are a few pictures from after my mother's death, I'm not that sure."

In response, he only earned a hum.

"Tch, can I lay on your chest? I want you to play with my hair." His eyes pleaded with you in the darkness. Of course you could never say no to such thing, you loved it even more when he was the one sleeping on you. Another sentence left his lips, this time with a yawn as he shifted himself on you, cooing like a small child. "I'll call Kenny tomorrow, sleep now I know you need it."

____

Under any other circumstance you would have loved seeing everyone's dumbfounded faces stating at you as if they had seen the dead rise from their graves. You had to pinch your arms to remind yourself this was indeed serious and you shouldn't let out a single chuckle.

"Please tell me you're joking" Nanaba pleaded, placing her hand on yours in disbelief.

"I'm going to screeeeeam! Shorty can't even hold it in, ghaaaa!"

"Hange he will hear you through the restroom."

Hange blinked her eyes rapidly at the sound of that. "You haven't told him?" She immediately seemed to lose her enthusiasm, something you hadn't intended to happen, especially at such a night, but you knew you didn't have a say in other people's emotions.

"Hange he never seemed too fond of the idea, why would I complicated things for him?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way in hell he was having this. You were practically his little sister, seeing you so tormented as you were in the moment when you spoke those words ravaged his last nerve, causing anger to clench his hands into fists. He watched as you took a small bite of your food giving the rest to Eli who was comfortably sitting on your lap, tapping his little hands on the rim of your plate. Other than the fact you broke out such news to him, Nanaba Hange and Erwin and had expressed your fears on informing your significant other, you seemed quite bubbly. Children really did bring out such a soft side of you, he knew that was for sure.

"Hange" you spoke, unphased as ever "Levi's coming please stop screaming at me, i love you but it's only making me dizzy."

It felt as if a thousand pairs of eyes were burning holes through his whole body, his head, and everywhere around his personal space bubble. Levi could feel his pulse tense just a tad, Hange's unnerving gaze and her crippling smile were fixated especially on him, making his nose itchy. There was something very different in the atmosphere around him; Nanaba wasn't eating anymore, she was more fixated on her daughter than anyone else, Erwin was nervously staring between him and you and you and Mike were trying to clean Eli's hands from the food he had just touched. When the scenery wasn't something irregular, none of you dared look eachother in the eyes, beat it that Hange was staring only at him.

"Oi, what the fuck is wrong-"

"Levi, shorty! Does Eli look like he's enjoying himself in (y/n)'s arms?" Hange turned her sweetened gaze on you, making you choke on your words, you shot her an atrociously strict glare. "Remember when Nanaba gave birth? What do you think about babies? Maybe you think they smell a lot? But what about ackerbabies?"

"Way to be discreet Han, thank you!" Your lips puckered in anger as you brought your arms to cross under your chest.

"Wait what's going on shitty glasses?"

"Yada Yada shorty, you're not getting a word from me, my lips are sealed" Hange spoke and shut her eyes to emphasize the significance of her words.

You sighed in a pathetic attempt to relieve some tention of your chest. A tight knot had formed due to anxiety, fog had clouded over your brain and you were feeling so faint and exhausted that you just wanted to get it over with. You didn't mind standing there like a fish out of water after breaking the news to him, the tention in the air was in fact what was making you suffocate in your seat. With wobbly hands you pushed Eli off your lap, not caring about the moan of disagreement he made and you shot up from your seat, announcing you had to take some fresh air. Levi had to stop Nanaba mid tracks to be able to come after you, fast enough to be there when you got out.

Naturally, you stood seated at a bench that neared the restaurant. Your hands were covering your face scratching softly through your hair, probably in attempts to calm your self down. He approached you without any second thought, this time determined to know what was it with you. Your behavior these past week had been unnerving and overly concerning to say the least. Carefully he sat himself down next to you, his right arm come around your frame comfortingly while the left one came to caress underneath your cheek.

"You should probably talk to me."

Your voice came muffled from between your palms as you still hadn't dared to look him in the eye. "Levi, I'm, I'm so sorry it's just... I'm very anxious."

"I think I figured that, brat." His voice was so soothing, it felt as if he was speaking to you in the comfort of your private room, not on a bench outside a semi fancy restaurant

"You know when Hange talked about ackerbabies she uhm, she might have had a particular baby in mind."

Levi blinked erratically for a single second before his mouth, unable to compel to his brain's orders, formed the shape of an oh. Of course, in the moment it was hard to click with any other even but he attributed that to his lack of knowledge over the situation. Had he any clue or suspicion that you could be pregnant he would have been able to realise that it wasn't that your stress had been messing with your stomach every morning and that your extreme fatigue couldn't possible align with the erratically swift rhythm of your palms. Of course, of course it wasn't a thermometer that you had disposed of in the toilet, he wanted to slap himself for being so naive as to believe that. He was strict with recycling rules, you wouldn't have just straight up there s thermometer in the trash. Fuck now's not the time to think about recycling.

With the soft, chaste kiss at the top of your hair you finally decided to turn your gaze to him. Watery eyes met with an adoring grey gaze, a gaze you've never seen at this extreme before. "I love you, you know." Another kiss meant your head got to lift a little more, just to get closer to him. "I don't say it often but you don't have to worry, I'll try to tell our kid more often."

Your eyes shimmered with adoration at his words, despite the cold weather you couldn't bring yourself to feel not even a little tingle, Levi was keeping you so warm with his words. "Really? You want this?"

"Tch why wouldn't I, you thought I'd ever let you go and leave me lonely? I've always thought you knew we're sharing the same future."

Your lips attacked his in fiery passion. It was a natural reaction to his words, an ice melting kiss, a promise for the future. There were many reasons as to why you lived Levi but maybe the fact that you would have a little stoic faced baby running around your feet made you love him a little bit more.

[meltwonu]

| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ spells ✦

this chapter pairing; wizard!hoshi x reader

genre&warnings; wizard!hoshi, softdom!hoshi, oral(fem receiving), virgin!reader, fingering, good ‘ol lighthearted fucking😩, squirting.

notes; lets be real hoshi with magical abilities would be chaos kjdfhkdf🥴 also I know, I know, I wish I could hyperlink the previous chapters into each post but tumb1r rly seems to fuckin hate my account and hides my posts from tags for no reason as it is and RLY hates it when I start hyperlinking posts with the same links so I'll just try to keep my series masterlist updated from here on out!! you can also find my monster mash fics with the hashtag monstermash!svt on my blog!🎃💕 Thank you as always for your continued interest and see you tomorrow~! 👻 

word count; ~2800

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

boy you put your spell on me, there’s something about you;

‘cause even in the sleepless nights, i’m thinkin’ about you.

well i think it’s magic with you,

oh i think it’s magic.

yeah i think it’s magic with you.

You’ve known Soonyoung since the two of you were kids.

He played with you in the lavender fields and kept you company on rainy nights when the thunder scared you out of your wits.

Soonyoung lived in a cottage on the outskirts of the town now that the two of you were adults and he preferred to keep to himself; all things considered.

The townspeople weren’t really too fond of Soonyoung’s kind -- rumours of the magical beings causing havoc and destruction more prevalent than anything else. 

And for that reason alone, you most often offered to help Soonyoung gather necessities from the town and in trade, he would let you hang around his cottage while he would work on restoring old spell books. He almost never actually cast any spells or showed you anything he could do with his magic, but you were patient and understanding of his uncommon situation. 

And not only do you know Soonyoung, but you liked Soonyoung.

Even though he seemed quite oblivious to the fact.

You shake your head in thought, picking out a few more apples and adding them to your basket before you start the long walk towards Soonyoung’s cottage.

You soon see the smoke billowing from the chimney of Soonyoung cottage; jogging up the steps as you fish for the spare key he’d given you.

When you enter, the smell of cinnamon and old books welcomes you in like it’s your own and you immediately head for the kitchen to start setting aside the groceries you’d gotten. “Soonyoung!? Where are you?” You yell, giving it a second for him to respond. You’re met with silence, confusion written all over your features.

It was quite unlike Soonyoung to be missing when he knew you were coming.

You look around the kitchen, finding a warm kettle filled with tea. He must’ve just stepped out for a second.

Shaking your head, you reach for a cup on the countertop, fixing yourself a cup of tea as you wait for Soonyoung to come back from wherever he had gone. You take a sip, sighing in contentment at the warmness that floods your system.

You quickly down the rest of the cup, setting it back onto the counter as you make your way towards his bedroom in hopes of finding him.

“Soonyoung? Where are you?” An odd feeling washes over you the further you walk into his house, unable to find a single hint of where he could be. He was almost always in the living area or the kitchen when you came by.

 You knock on his bedroom door as you call out his name again; still not getting a reply back even when you slowly pry the door open.

He’s nowhere to be found, so you take a seat on top of his bed, brows furrowed. Where on earth?

You decide to lay down for a second, removing your shoes and outer clothes before resting your head on the pillow.

Surely Soonyoung wouldn’t mind, seeing as he’s not even here.

Your eyelids feel heavier than usual; yawning loudly as you get comfortable.

When you wake up, you don’t know how much time has pass or if time has passed at all.

All you know is that it’s unbearably hot.

“Wh--what…” You mumble, sitting up as you wipe the sweat from your brow. A soft moan floats out of your mouth, body filled with a certain warmth you only knew when you were thinking about Soonyoung late at night.

“What is going on…”

You clench your jaw, hiking your dress further and further up until you can run your fingertips over your clothed cunt; finding yourself already soaking through the material as it sticks to you like a second skin. “What---”

A sharp door slam knocks you out of your confusion as you hurriedly push your dress down. You hear Soonyoung yelling your name a second later, biting your lip to keep in the noises that threaten to spill from your mouth.

What was going on!?

Soonyoung comes to view as he steps into the doorway; a crimson blush on his cheeks when he finds you in his bed.

“What did you do?” He whispers, barely loud enough for you to catch it.

“S--Soonyoung…” You whimper, unable to keep your voice straight as another gush of wetness pools in your panties. “I--s--something’s weird…”

“Did---did you drink… the tea in the k-kettle…” You nod shakily, tears pooling in your eyes. “I---was I not s-supposed to?”

Soonyoung exhales harshly as he steps into the bedroom, closing it behind him as he sits across from you on the bed. “How much did you drink of it?”

“A--a cup…?”

“A whole cup?”

“Y-yeah…”

Soonyoung grimaces, “That was… an aphrodisiac. I--I used my magic to make it stronger, I didn’t think---I didn’t think it’d work…”

Fuck.

You let out a small mewl, thighs rubbing together underneath your dress. “Why were you m-making that, S-Soonyoung?”

A blush coats his cheeks, suddenly embarrassed. Why exactly?

“No reason, I just---I got curious. I wasn’t… expecting you so early so I stepped out to get more herbs from Minghao’s garden. I was supposed to have it set away before you came.”

A tense silence falls over the two of you, neither of you making a move. Soonyoung clears his voice a few moments later, “I---I might be able to undo it with a spell but I’m not sure if it’ll work. I never tried it before and---and I don’t really know how to fix this, if I’m being honest.”

This time it’s your turn to blush, desperation clear on your features when you lock eyes with the said male.

“Can---can you h-help me… Soonyoung?”

He feels his cock throb in his pants, hands balling up into fists in his lap. “I--I can’t do that to you. You don’t even see me that way and I… I’ll go through the spell books, there has to be---”

“God, please! Soonyoung, I need you! Please, I-if it’s… If it means anything to you, I--I do like you…”

He clenches his jaw, taking in your blown out pupils and flushed cheeks. “You… like me?”

“I--yes… For a while now, actually.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” He asks, fingertips itching to strip himself of his clothes. “I guess I shouldn’t pry. I didn’t say anything either, did I sweetheart?”

Sweetheart.

Your heart pangs in your chest at the sudden pet name, thighs clamping together harder when his voice drops an octave. “Soonyoung, please…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

This wasn’t necessarily Soonyoung’s ideal situation when it came to telling you his feelings.

He would’ve much preferred something romantic and not you accidentally downing one of his experiments.

“Ah, Soon---Soonyoung, more, m-more!” Your hips buck up, trying to get him to go faster. He slowly flicks at your clit with his tongue, using his hands to keep your body firm against the sheets. “Stop moving, or I’ll stop, sweetheart.” A choked cry bubbles past your lips, fingers itching to lock into his soft hair. He senses your urges, lips settling into a grin when he stops to look up at you.

“Say, you’re always complaining I never show you any of my magic.” He starts, “I’ll show you something really cool.”

He mumbles words you can’t seem to catch and in an instant, you feel your arms pinned to your sides and a pressure on your hips that keeps you still. “I didn’t think I’d need to use that spell quite like this but…” Soonyoung chuckles under his breath, leaning back down as he goes back to flicking your clit with his tongue.

“But---but Soonyoung… Please… Your f-fingers…”

“Oh? Do you want me to use my fingers while I make you feel good with my tongue?” You nod, licking your chapped lips when he stares up at you from between your legs. You had to get him to do more somehow.

“Y-yeah… I--I use my fingers all the time when I’m thinking about y-you…” That should do it.

Soonyoung goes rigid, cock throbbing against the sheets underneath him. “You… what?” You whimper, struggling against the invisible spell that binds you to the bed. “Mmhmm… I’d--I’d show you but I can’t… So you have to…” He shakes his head, bringing his fingers to his mouth before he wraps his lips around them. He makes sure they’re significantly wet before he positions two at your entrance.

“You really got me there, huh, sweetheart?”

A high pitched whine falls from your lips when he starts to sink in his digits; your wetness making it easy for him to sink them knuckle deep on the first try. “Oh, god! Soonyoung!” He’s mildly shocked at how wet you are and how tight your pussy is around his fingers, but he quickly finds a pace you like as he starts thrusting his fingers inside of you. “So you think about me? What exactly do you think about?”

He curls his fingers, watching your lips part in a silent scream when he grazes against your g-spot. “Sweetheart, I asked you a question. I expect a response, okay?”

“I---s--sometimes it’s just, mmh, like---like this… With your fingers deep inside me, making me feel so g-good… But--but sometimes, ah, I--it’s me on your l-lap…” You pause, abdomen tightening with each passing second. “You’re usually really s-sweet in my imagination but…”

“But?”

“But some--ngh, sometimes you… punish me t-too… when I go through your things without your p-permission… Mmh, and---and sometimes you use your magic, just like thi--this to keep me in my place... Oh, god, Soonyoung please, I’m so close!”

He grits his teeth, thumb on your clit in an instant. “Oh? So you want me to use my magic to make you feel good? Okay.” Grinning, he focuses some of his energy into the pad of his thumb; rubbing harsh circles on the swollen nub as you cry out. 

It felt like electricity was coursing through your body, tingles going up and down your spine as you cum hard on his fingers. Soonyoung’s name rolls off of your tongue and he can’t help but watch and think how pretty you were when you were cumming.

“Cute.”

Soonyoung recites a spell in the midst of your orgasm and you feel your body go slack when the invisible restraints finally free you. He sits up, slowly pulling his fingers from inside of you and he brings them to his mouth, licking off your wetness as you watch him through teary eyes.

“Soonyoung, I’m still…”

“I know, baby.”

He repositions himself between your legs, spreading your legs wide. “If it hurts---”

You groan loudly, reaching down as you hold yourself open for him. “Soonyoung, I bet you could just slide right in with how soaking wet I am… Look at me...” He shoots you an amazed look as he freezes momentarily.

“I---what did that aphrodisiac do to you, baby?” Soonyoung wraps a hand around his cock, spreading the precum down his shaft as he positions himself at your entrance. “Seriously though, just tell me if it hurts, okay?” You nod in return; letting your arms rest at your side again.

Soonyoung slowly inches his cock into your tight cunt, a groan on his lips at how tightly you were already clenching around him. “Oh, fuck…” He whispers.

He bottoms out in a single motion, slow and steady. The head of his cock taps against your g-spot and you find yourself chasing another orgasm as he lets you get used to his size.

“Please, move!” You cry, squirming underneath him. He tsk’s you in return, leaning over as he grips your thighs. “Baby, don’t make me bind you again. You’re doing so well for me already.” He draws his hips back before thrusting in, starting a moderate pace when he notes that you’d already gotten used to him. 

“You’re so wet for me, baby. Is it the aphrodisiac or is it me?” Soonyoung jokes. Although he, too, can feel himself already on the edge just as quickly. He wouldn’t tell you now, but he thought about you quite often too.

“Maybe I should’ve taken some with you.”

“Ngh, we’d be at it like r-rabbits…”

“Wouldn’t that be fun? On a night like All Hallow’s Eve, when my powers are much stronger. Imagine how good I could make you feel then, hmm?”

You let out a sob; pussy clenched hard around his cock as you feel yourself on the brink of another orgasm. “N-no, ‘cause I---I already know I’m gon--gonna need more after this… My body’s still so h-hot…”

Soonyoung takes pity, leaning over you as he kisses your tear-stained cheek. “I’ll work you through it, baby. Don’t worry.” The two of you fall into a silence; only the sounds of your moans, his soft breaths, and the snap of his hips bouncing off of the walls of his bedroom. He can feel you get immensely tight around him as he grips your thighs a little harder.

“Oh, Soon--Soonyoung I--”

“It’s okay, baby. Go on.”

This time when you cum, the pressure feels ten times as strong as the first time. You can hear ringing in your ears as your back bows off of the bed and you can vaguely feel Soonyoung’s cock forced out of your pussy in the midst of your orgasm. Tears wet your eyelashes as you cry out his name in a jumbled fashion; body rigid against the sheets.

“Oh--shit, baby…” Soonyoung watches as you squirt all over him and the sheets underneath you; hand wrapped around his cock as he watches your face contort in pleasure. He gulps, bringing his cock back towards you as he runs it through your folds until it nudges against your overly sensitive clit. “Such a good girl for me. You’re doing so well, baby.”

He taps the head of his cock against your swollen clit, watching as your body jolts with every tap. “Soonyoung…”

“How are you feeling?” He asks, jerking himself off over your body as your hazy eyes meet his. “A little better… But…” You trail off, watching him thrust up into his own closed fist. “You look so good...” He hums in response, tightening his fist.

“I’m so close, baby…”

“Make yourself feel good too, Soonyoung… Wanna see you make a mess on me~” You spur him on; filthy words on your lips as you watch his brows furrow. “And I’m still gonna want more too~ But I wanna see you get me nice and messy first~”

He lets out a groan, cock throbbing in his hold as he cums; streaks of cum hitting your lower abdomen. “Ngh, baby…” You mewl, fingertips already running through the warm liquid as you bring it back to your mouth.

You lick off the salty substance, immediately going in for more as Soonyoung’s own fuzzy eyes focus on your movements. “What--what are you d-doing?”

“Cleaning~” You quip, popping the cum soaked fingers into your mouth as you moan.

“God, did that aphrodisiac turn you into a succubus? You’re insatiable!” He feels his eye twice as he starts to come down from his high; using his free hand to wipe the sweat from his brow.

You giggle cutely, licking your lips. “Are those even real? And for the record, maybe you shouldn’t have made the aphrodisiac in the first place for your little experiments and then maybe you shouldn’t have made it even more powerful with your spells!”

Soonyoung can only grimace in return; It kind of was his fault for leaving it unattended.

“I know, I’m sorry, baby. I promise I’ll make it up to you, okay? And no more weird experiments left out on the stovetop, I promise.”

Grinning, you lean up, ignoring the soaking mess underneath you and the cum drying on your abdomen as you push Soonyoung over until he lays on his back. He gulps as he watches you straddle his hips. 

“You’re gonna make it up to me all night though, right, Soonyoung?”

[boldlyanxious]

None the Wiser 10

Masterlist

All fic masterlist

I took a bit of a break from this one after doing so much all at once. Also had to decide what way to go. I didn't plan ahead for her to run out so now I'm winging it a bit.

Marinette had left the Eiffel Tower that night with Cassie's number. At first she thought the girl was trying to make a joke when she suggested telling her parents that she had been running around as a magical hero for 2 years. But Cassie gave a well-reasoned argument for why she should reveal herself. Much of it was the ways that it strained their relationship and caused her to need to lie all the time. But beyond that there was the added burden on being the guardian with not only no additional support but having lost heroes as they had been revealed.

Marinette didn't run home and tell her parents right away. She took a few days to mull it over. She knew that the guardian had wanted secrecy above all but she wasn't sure how prudent that was. He had only become a guardian because he made a major mistake as a child that he couldn't fix. His secrecy had only protected him but didn't solve any problems. When faced with the same problem that had never been fixed his solution was to run and hide again while leaving Paris vulnerable. It had been her and Chat Noir who had fixed his mistake even if she had eventually made a mistake that cost him the guardianship. She has solved the issue even if things were still tough.

Perhaps the additional support of her parents would be a good thing. She should probably discuss it with Chat Noir first. She had been avoiding discussing any of it with him or Damian. She sent them both messages that she did not want them to bring it up until she had time to process. Damian took it pretty well but Adrien seemed to keep trying to catch her eye to get her to talk, but then she had known Adrien longer and he also found out about her secret biological family so the situations were quite a bit different. She pulled out her phone to text him.

---

Marinette brought pastries to the park, including a double cheesy bread for Plagg and macarons for Tikki. The box lid was pushed back down over the kwamis so Marinette and Adrien could talk. He offered her fruit infused water before they wandered away from the photo shoot set that he had just left. He used a wipe to remove the makeup and ran his hands through his hair causing it to be adorably fluffy.

Marinette wasn't sure how to start. She avoided Adrien's soft eyes filled with concern and understanding. She picked the flaky bits off her croissant instead and looked up when he waved at some others across the park. She recognized the girls from school but she didn't really know them. Hopefully they wouldn't talk about seeing her in the park with Adrien. She hadn't told Alya because Lila had been nearby and she didn't want to make a big deal of it because Alya had noticed that they were acting a bit weird around each other.

"Do you know them?" Marinette asked.

"We share some classes. Just found out today that I'm partnered with the one in purple for the big history project. Hopefully that will work out okay "

"I was partnered with Nathaniel. It's nice to have someone I already know is reliable. He might be quiet for presenting but I don't know if I could handle the stress of an unreliable project partner."

"Because of all the other stress from things you couldn't or haven't shared?" he asked quietly.

"Um-yeah. Actually that is mostly what I wanted to talk about today. I'm going to tell my parents about everything."

"Isn't it all supposed to all be a secret?"

"According to Tikki, the level of secrecy has depended on the guardian handing out miraculi."

"So you think we should tell people now that you are guardian?"

"But necessarily. Mostly I think that it's important that people don't know. But we aren't adults who control our own lives and schedules. Sometimes we need extra support out allowances."

"I don't think I could tell my father. Even if he would see me, I think he would find a way to prevent me sneaking out if he knew."

"That is probably true. But my parents are the opposite. Having to lie and sneak around behind their back has been harmful to all of us. They have been a lot more worried recently anytime I'm not where they expected."

"Is this because of what Superboy said about you being Robin's sister?"

"I--"

She faltered and looked down instead of continuing. Adrien reached out and picked up her hand saying her name softly.

"Marinette, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But sometimes it helps to talk even if it's hard to say."

"No, I think it will help you to know. It's just all been so confusing. Do you remember the man from the hotel?"

"Yeah. From Alya's party."

"I met him that night when I went to change during the party. The next day he wanted to have breakfast with me." She bit her lip before spitting out the next words all at once. "Because he is my biological father."

"You said he made your parents nervous. Did he treat your mom badly and that is why they never told you?"

"Actually, they never knew until then."

"How--"

"My parents had help from a fertility clinic. I didn't know until I took a DNA test after we did blood typing in biology class because mine wasn't right." She looked down again. "They aren't worried that he will hurt me. They are worried that he will take me away."

"Cases like that from donors or whatever are really hard to fight though."

Except he is rich. Like really rich. Bruce Wayne rich."

The words just sat there for a moment as Adrien considered them. She could see him working it out and could tell the exact moment he knew when he looked back at her with shock in his eyes.

"Bruce Wayne is your biological father?" He breathed out hard. "The Bruce Wayne."

"That reaction is a lot of why I've not told many people. I didn't even know who he was until the fashion show. I was so worried about everything else that I never considered asking more about him. He was just Bruce."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed her close for a moment. Marinette leaned against him less nervous than she felt before but still with the weight of talking to her parents.

"I agree you should tell your parents. It will help them to know. It will probably just give them other things to worry about." He smiled down at her. "Lucky for them that we always save the day, My Lady."

She looked up at him with the use of his hero's affectionate nickname for her. He was definitely looking at her how Chat Noir tended to look at Ladybug. She tensed a bit, not sure how to manage his possible feelings now that he knew she was Ladybug and not just Marinette. But he said nothing more. He leaned over and kissed her head gently and told her goodbye with a final squeeze to her shoulders.

---

Her parents just stared at her after she blurted out her secret identity without preamble. They were stunned into silence and waited for her to crack a smile before they reacted. They looked at each other and then both started talking about their feelings about her revelation. If they didn't calm down Marinette predicted she would have a headache soon. She decided it was best to wait it out rather than try defending herself.

As she expected it was mostly disbelief and shock at the dangers she had faced but there was an underlying message of pride. They kept on for a few minutes while Marinette waited for them to get it out of their system. She could tell it was ending when they both held her close and they ceased the onslaught of incredulous concern. They all went quiet for a minute until Marinette asked their thoughts once they had been able to process for a few minutes.

"Did you guys have any questions?"

"Why did you tell us? Actually why didn't you tell us before?" her dad asked.

"Well things have changed recently and it makes it all so much different."

"Your leader. He was trapped by Hawkmoth and named you guardian. What does that mean?" her mom asked.

"It means I'm but responsible for all of the miraculi in Paris. The previous guardian had moved on and had no memory of any of the miraculous or having met me."

"I don't know whether to be more upset that you kept it secret all this time or that we didn't notice." Sabine said.

"I wanted to tell you. I really hate lying."

"We know you do Sweetheart. That's part of what makes this hard to see. We didn't expect it from you," her dad said.

"I always worried that you would find out I'm missing and think something bad had happened. Especially after Bruce showed up. You were so worried at first."

"We are still worried a little. But so far he seems to just want an opportunity to love you." Sabine said. "We can't fault him for that."

Marinette agreed. Although it was a very strange situation, he genuinely seemed to want to be a part of her life without making himself a nuisance. She even thought he might he holding back a desire to buy her everything she ever wanted. He had left town again and she could only hope Damian would keep his silence, but he would be returning as soon as his schedule allowed.

They continued talking about all the ways these two major revelations had affected their lives while they made dinner and ate. It was all a huge weight off Marinette and she was happy it had been suggested. She really did believe that it was the best thing for her and the best way to protect her parents, even if it meant they would have to watch their reactions. Her dad might have been thinking about that because as she was heading up to her room he stopped her one last time.

"Does this mean you are in love with Chat Noir but he rejected you without knowing you were Ladybug?"

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[vierschanzentournee]

hii eve this feels weird

ok so this might be controversial (i'm saying might because i honestly don't know how u guys felt about the comeptition because the tag is still acting up) but i think the competition was pretty okay?? the weather was nice and even tho the wind was a bit shitty from time to time, the jury did a good job?

i was about to say something about eisei's style marks but quite honestly we have talked so much about it in season 2019 i think?? that i don't know what else to say besides FIS FIX THE SYSTEM!!!

now to karle, it was startling to see him so upset and i am not used to it at all?? i watched an interview and he was obviously so lost in his thoughts and he even interrupted the interviewer because she started talking about innsbruck - the poor guy had so much pressure form the media and i HATE THEM FOR ALWAYS EXPECTING SO MUCH FROM ATHLETES (if i am not mistaken there is a number of rants about this on my blog already i am not starying again)

BUT i do have to say that i respect him so much because another interviewer tried to push the idea of the jury being guilty and he imediatelly said that he was absolutely not implying that (another reason why i fucking hate some journalists i'm so sorry for the outburst)

ALSO LOVRO KOS MY BELOVED finally got his first podium and i can only hope that he will stay calm and collected for the whole season

honorable mention stephan with amazzing second jump and 10 place

excited for bergisel!!!! (my fave hill pls don't dissapoint)

i feel so powerful!!! how the tables have turned!!!

honestly, looking back i think the competition was fine - i'm a bit salty about karl losing the yellow bib, but frankly after today it might do him so good to have a break from the pressure of leading, and as @bronzebluemind has mentioned recently, he seems to do better attacking than defending sometimes. and oh man i am cut up reading that about his interviews - i don't really get interviews because the english broadcasting team is composed of david goldstrom and no one else, so the last i saw of him was him being very grumpy after his jump and then celebrating with markus (i have a gifset of it somewhere on my blog but presumably not in the tag lmao). i'm glad he's not blaming the jury for anything, it would not be a good look, and as you said i think the jury did fine today.

now that you mention it, the style marks controversy is pretty much the same as in 2019 lol. i think markus was definitely marked unfairly high for his first jump when compared to ryoyu, but also i don't think the overall impact was too severe; the stupid 18.5 from the german judge was eliminated, at least. i'm kind of glad he didn't win the competition frankly, just because there would have been a lot of people (on here, reddit, etc) who were very angry about it.

poor lovro kind of got lost amidst the drama of markus and ryoyu's battle! they never even showed his reaction to knowing he had a podium secured (after marius was 2nd after his jump). but this was awesome for him, and like you i hope that he'll keep it together and produce some more good results.

i can only say that i am terrified about what bergisel might do to karl (if he or anyone else gets hurt before the olympics......)

[crescentsteel]

Just Friends - Part 7

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo , model fem reader warnings: sexual tension, slow burn word count: 7.2k 

A.N:

- Finally!! I'm so glad to finally release this. October was so hectic and I'm a very slow writer. - I'm so sorry for the mistakes on the previous chapters. No one beta reads for me. So I went back and edited Chapters 3-6. - So sorry for the word vomit on this chapter. I was out of control. - Thank you for all the nice comments!! I swear. They keep me fired up and inspired.  - As always, lmk if you want to be tagged in any of my works,

Part 6 | Part 8 |  m.list

“No! It’s not what you think!”

Kuroo almost laughs at how cliche you sounded, a typical response of someone who’s been caught red-handed. You’re about to chase Kenma, but he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Maybe you should wear your shirt before you go after ‘im.” He tries to hide the mirth in his expression and tone. Your face is so red, you look like you’re about to burst. He also doesn’t want to add up more to the awkwardness you might feel later, so he’s gonna let this one slide. He’ll just pretend that the massage thing was as harmless as it should be. 

You put your shirt in a jumble and walk briskly to Kenma. He follows at his normal pace, settling behind you when he catches up to you and Kenma.

“Sorry about that,” you laugh nervously. “He was just giving me a back massage.”

It was kinda the truth, but Kenma looks dubious. 

“It sounded more than a massage.”

He covers his lips with his back hand so he wouldn’t laugh. Although his rascal self wants to tease you more, he can’t let you feel any more embarrassed than this. He looks at Kenma and shakes his head minutely with a knowing look, hinting not to push the subject any further. 

“Naah. Y/n here is just really stressed so she moans like she’s being fucked.” Okay, maybe he couldn’t completely let it slide after all. 

You irritatedly look at him and punch his arm with more force than usual. “Piss off,” you hiss. 

He dramatically rubs the arm you just hit. “Ow! So violent.”

Kenma ignores the antics and just passes by you two. He’s about to plop himself on the couch, but pauses. He instead gets a chair and seats himself there.

You couldn’t overlook that. Obviously, in Kenma’s mind, you and Kuroo were doing something indecent there so he doesn’t want to be in it. You want to clear it up to Kenma that you really weren’t doing anything of that sort. Well, you were about to pounce on Kuroo, but still, it didn’t actually happen. 

In a way, you’re relieved that Kenma interrupted at the right time. You might have done something you will harrowingly regret afterwards.

“Don’t sweat it, y.n. He just misinterpreted it.” Kuroo’s unusually magnanimous today. It’s strange. He wouldn’t have lived this down on a regular day. Maybe it's because of your no sex relationship? Still, this is aberrant of him. He shouldn’t fail to notice how that last  moan of yours was not of comfort. 

“Right?” He adds, his eyes gauging your own.

So that’s how it is. He is aware. But he’s giving you the option to disregard what just almost happened. You’re relieved, but also confused at the tiny shards of disappointment prickling in your chest. This is what you wanted, for you to avoid sex and Kuroo in the same room. It shouldn’t be confusing.

You look down and break away from the eye contact. You put a hand on your hip and the other on your temple, which then moves to brush your hair back.

With a long, audible puff, you speak.

“Of course, it was nothing,” you return to his gaze with a dry expression to camouflage the lie behind your words. But at the same time, you also wait for him to say something or for his eyes to show something other than indifference. You don’t know what it is you want or expect, but you wait for it. You’ll know it when you see it. 

It doesn’t come though as he shrugs it off like it was nothing. 

Disappointed, that’s what you are. You don’t like the feeling, but you are.

—

You ring your driver again, hoping that this time he’ll finally answer. If he doesn’t get to you any soon, you’ll be late for your shoot. You can’t be late for this shoot in particular. Mitsuki’s the creative director. She’s a very pleasant one, but she absolutely hates tardiness. No exceptions. She gets all sour and crank when someone’s late. 

The other end of the line picks up. “Ms l/n. I’m so sorry. One of the tires got flat. I need to change it, but I’m still stuck in traffic.”

Of all the days to get a flat tire on a heavy traffic, it had to be this day. You exhale heavily to clear the irritation getting under your skin. 

“How long before you’re here?”

“I think about an hour, Ms.”

You aren’t the type to get mad at hired help, but you’re really in a pinch. In an hour, you should be in hair and make up already, not arriving only then. Mitsuki gets enraged when someone’s 15 minutes late. To be late an hour, you can’t imagine how she’d be. There’s no way you’re going to wait here for an hour.

“Don’t come anymore. Just get it fixed.” You say coldly before you end the call. It wasn’t the driver’s fault. You wouldn’t bother getting a driver if your car hadn’t been acting up recently. Being dumb this morning, you forgot about your busted car and was late in this morning’s meeting with a client. You found yourself brisk walking in heels at the hotel’s lobby earlier just to save yourself from any more delayed minutes. And now, even your driver’s car is jacked up. 

“Y.n?”

You turn around at the recognizable calm voice you heard. It’s Kenma, except he wasn’t alone. Kuroo is right there beside him. It was kind of weird to see them together at this place and both in business wear. 

“What’re you two doing here?” 

“I’m working with Kenma here to sponsor our next promotional video.”

You just stared at the two of them. You’re used to the three of you just fooling around when you’re together. Meeting like this when you’re all in the middle of doing your jobs is something new to you. 

“And who might you be giving a hard time on the phone, hmm y.n.?”

They heard that? They must both be near while you were getting bummed out from being late this morning and potentially late this afternoon. 

“Ah! I need to go. My driver can’t make it. I’m going to be late,” you spiral back to your hectic schedule. “Bye.” You give them a quick wave, and despite your heels, you walk as fast as you could towards the entrance of the hotel. 

You try to hail cabs that were passing by, but almost every cab was occupied. And for some reason, someone always managed to get the empty cabs before you can even spot them. To worsen your luck, it began to rain. You frantically tap your left foot on the concrete as the panic sets in you.

Mitsuki’s gonna kill me.

You bite your lip and contemplate how you’re going to arrive in the venue on time. The answer you found made you turn back on your heels to go back inside the hotel, only to find them already there behind you. 

“You’re here,” you exhale, relieved that they haven’t gone anywhere out of your sight. “I’m in a bind. Can anyone give me a ride?” 

The two men exchanged pithy looks, but you don’t bother figuring out what that could’ve meant. You just need the help you typically won’t ask for since you’re always doing things on your own.

“I can’t. I have a stream coming up. Sorry, y.n.” Kenma first spoke. You shift to Kuroo, hoping that he can give you the time of day. “Yea, sure. Am free for the rest of the day actually.” He says with a brief smile. 

“Oh, thank God!” The panic and nerves were clearing out of your system. Despite the awkwardness of your previous massage fiasco, right now, you’re glad that he can help. 

“Bye, then.” Kenma quickly took his leave as the hotel valet stepped out from his car and handed him his keys. 

“Should we go now?” Kuroo asked. “Aren’t we waiting for your car?” “No. I don’t want strangers handling my car.” “Then why did you go here?”

Amusement shows on his face at your question. “I saw your cute attempt to hail a cab. Is that how rich kids do it? Let someone else steal their ride for them?” You smile sweetly, disgustingly sweet, then roll your eyes before saying, “Let’s just go.”

You told him the location of the shoot. The drive was comfortable as you both share work conversations with your usual banters on the side. Being friends with Kuroo is confusing and reassuring at the same time. With the history you two shared, you need to tread the waters of your friendship carefully every once in a while. If it wasn’t the sexual tension, it was the affection you felt towards him that would sometimes seem like resurfacing. Even with all that, you can’t bear to walk away from what you presently have. You feel like you really found genuine company with him and Kenma.

“We’re here. Let me just get an umbrella.” He looks back to the back seat and stretches his right arm to reach for it. The current angle of his face emphasized his sharp jaw and the length of his neck. You were just thinking how you need to tread carefully, but easier said than done when you know exactly how your fingers have grazed that jaw, how your tongue has tasted that neck, and much more. 

“What’s taking you so long? I might as well get drenched from the rain,” you snap because you can’t stand your own indecent thoughts. 

“Found it.” He says and returns to his normal sitting position. “Why the hell are you suddenly cranky? Geez.” You feel bad for being suddenly grouchy. He was just being nice and you were being nasty for reasons you can’t tell him. “Sorry. Just don’t want to be late,” you apologized.

He shrugs it off nonchalantly. “Hey. Where’s my umbrella?” You ask when you see him reaching for the door with only one umbrella in his hand. 

“We’re sharing this. I only have one.”

You purse your lips to the side and sharply avert your eyes elsewhere, your irritation resurfacing again. You feel uncomfortable with the idea of being that physically close to him. You’ve pushed the massage incident behind, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about it. 

“What is up with you? What are you so pissed about?”

“Nothing. Can we go now?”

He stares at you for a good 3 seconds before getting out and opening his umbrella. He moves to your side of the vehicle and opens the door. You get out and try to avoid any raindrops. He closes the door and presses his car keys to lock the vehicle. 

You both start to walk towards the entrance of the place. You’ve never felt more awkward in your life. You’re avoiding getting past the edge of the umbrella while also avoiding Kuroo’s body. 

“Why is your umbrella so small?” 

“The heck are you talkin about? This is the standard size.”

You don’t answer him. The umbrella isn’t small. He’s just huge and his whole body occupied almost all the space under the shade. You flinch when he suddenly grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you close, so close that you can feel the firmness of his body pressed onto yours. 

You raise your gaze to him with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re gonna get wet if we don’t huddle closer.” You could accept his reason, if only you didn’t catch the miniscule curl of his lips and the skittish glint in his eyes. It was so typical of him really. Maybe you should stop being so worked up all the time. 

“Fine.” Even though he was messing you, you can’t deny that it’s much more comfortable. You’re safe from the rain and his body provided heat from the coldness of the downpour.

He doesn’t do or say anything more as you both get to the doorway of the bar where the shoot will be held. He puts down the umbrella when you reach the shade of the building. Before you’re able to get away from Kuroo’s hold, the door opens. Mitsuki was holding her phone to her ear when she met your eyes. 

“I was calling you and you weren’t — oh.” Her eyes flew to the hand on your shoulder and traveled to its owner. “Well, well, y/n. You leave for a good while, then come back loaded.” You can always count on Mitsku to not hold her tongue. You gently release yourself from Kuroo’s hold to avoid looking defensive. “It’s not like that,” was your thrift reply. 

“Kuroo, this is Mitsuki, my creative director for today, sometimes my friend too. Mitsuki, this is Kuroo.” 

Both of them exchange casual greetings for meeting the first time. 

“How come you mention our relationship, but not yours?” referring to you and Kuroo. You sigh. “He’s also a friend.” You turn to Kuroo and thank him for the ride and his time. 

“Is your driver picking you up?” he asked.

You seal your eyes shut at your own stupidity. Because you were panicking and irritated, you sent your driver home. You open them again and purse your lips in a straight line. “No. I’ll just take a cab.”

“With your cab-hailing skills in this rain? Good luck with that.” he snorts. “Haha. Real funny.” From the corner of your eyes, you see Mitsuki with an entertained grin on her face, obviously enjoying the exchange between you and Kuroo. 

“Call me when you’re done. I’ll come pick you up then.” You want to protest but it will just drag on. You don’t want Mitsuki seeing more of the dynamics of your relationship, so you thriftly say “Okay.”

“Kuroo-san, right?” Both of you shift your attention to Mitsuki. “Actually, we need a male model because the scheduled one today is a total wimp and cancelled last minute.” She shamelessly eyed Kuroo from head to toe. So that’s why she was about to call you. The shoot was cancelled. 

When she looks at you, you mouth the word “no” to let her know that she shouldn’t do what you think she’s about to do. The reaction you got was her smiling widening before speaking to Kuroo. “Do you have an agent? Can we talk over the phone right now to discuss?”

That’s when you step forward. “Uhhh. He’s not a model. He used to be a volleyball player, hence the height and build.” You say defensively. You nudge Kuroo with your elbow so that he’ll back you up, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s just there waiting for Mitsuki’s next words. 

“An athlete, I see.” She nods approvingly. “That’s perfect! I don’t have to talk to anyone. It’s completely up to you then.”

“Errr. I don’t really know anything about modeling. Sorry.”

Your relief was short-lived when she tugs you to her direction and grips both of your shoulders. “Then your friend here can guide you. She’ll be your co-model anyways.” 

He probably figured out by now why you were so apprehensive during the conversation just now. You don’t want him as your co-model. 

His grin just confirmed your thoughts. “I’ll go for it then.” His eyes sparkling with mischief made you surrender. You already admit defeat in your head even though the shoot is just about to start. 

You both get in hair and makeup. Being a woman, you take longer to finish. The clothes the stylists are arranging on you are taking while as well.  They let you wear a very long, elegant gold dress that fits your upper body like your second skin, but the material is flowy from your waist down. When you arrive at the set, he’s already there talking with Mitsuki while waiting for you. Mitsuki notices you first. “Alright! We’re good to go.”

When Kuroo faces you, you almost don’t recognize him. His usual emo bangs were gone. They brushed his hair up cleanly. The suit he was wearing earlier was replaced by gray slacks and white long sleeve polo that has two top buttons open. You have conflicted feelings towards the hair and make up staff that did the work. They did a remarkable job with his overall style. He does look like a model like this. But also, why the hell did they make him look this damn good? The regular Kuroo was bad enough for you.

“This feels weird. I feel like I have too many things on me.” You scowl at his remark. “Too many? Wanna try being a girl?” He’s about to retort but Mitsuki claps twice which calls both of your attention.

“So our client is a liquor brand and the theme is something like wild love at the bar. What I want is you two giving the impression of having a passionate first encounter while you’re out drinking. Give me something and we’ll work it out as we go on, mkay?” 

You knew you’d be working with a male model for this brand, but you didn’t expect that they’d go with something like this. You thought it was just going to be glamour shots to showcase the drink.

But what Mitsuki said, ‘Wild love at the bar’?? That is not something you’d want to be doing with him. It reminded you of the first night you met. 

“I’m all ears on what to do, y/n” His haughty smile doesn’t help the situation one bit. You take a deep breath. This is not the time to muck around. You’re the experienced one, so you’ll be taking the lead. “Swear to me that you’ll take this seriously.” You glare at him, no trails of humor apparent. The change in his demeanor surprised you. You forgot how intimidating he can get when he’s serious. You’re so used to him being an idiot all the time that it catches you off guard. But for today, you’re glad to have it.

You explain to him how the whole shoot will go. For the first shot, you ask a staff member for a chair and tell Kuroo to sit on it. “Get the glass with the liquor and look at the camera while holding it.” He did as you told, except he has this perplexed look on his face with a noticeable discomfort from the way his lips curled in a corner. 

“On second thought, maybe this is a bad idea,” he said after trying the first time. You want to agree with him, but the shoot is already happening. You just want to get over it already since you’re already there. “Nooo. Uh-uh.” Mitsuki’s tone took a sharp turn. She wasn’t happy with what Kuroo said. “Just imagine you’re in a bar, chilling with your favorite drink and you just snagged the hottest girl in the place.” 

“Hottest girl aka me,” you comment on her instruction. That seemed to work because he changed back to his normal self and looked at you with amusement. “Just like the night we met, huh?” He said it low enough for only you to hear, but you still glanced nervously to Mitsuki if she caught any of it.  

“That’s a nice expression, Kuroo! Keep looking at her like that.” You ease up since it looks like she didn’t hear it. You put your elbow on his shoulder and tilt your hips to give your waist an S curve while angling your body towards him at the same time. You lift your chin up a bit and look at the camera with parted lips.

“Yep. Looking good dear.” Mitsuki signals the photographer to start taking the shots. You both slightly alter your angles so the pose will have variations. Sometimes you look at Kuroo, smile flirtatiously at him, or look at the camera in a sultry way. Every time you two would look at each other, you’d ‘cheat’ and look at the bridge of his nose to give the illusion that you’re actually looking at his eye. 

While looking at the shots from a separate screen, she suddenly asks the photographer to stop. You both straighten your bodies while awaiting instructions.  “It looks nice,” she said before looking at your direction. “But it’s boring. There’s nothing wild about it.”  You space out for a bit because for the first time, you don’t know how to proceed. You’re used to fashion shoots and runway. You’ve never had an ad with this theme. “Y.n, dear, can you be a bit aggressive towards him?”

You raise your eyebrow from disbelief. “A-aggressive?”

Mitsuki nods. “Throw yourself at him, dominate him, take control. mkay?” You feel a bit pressured when she’s just looking at you two and waiting for you to start posing for the camera. You don’t have a solid idea in your head, but you just go for it. You try to prop yourself up on the bar counter, but your dress won’t allow you.

Kuroo notices your dilemma and gets up from his seat. “You could’ve asked for help, you know.” He positions himself in front of you and grabs your waist. His hands were strong yet gentle. With your palms still on the surface of the counter, he lifts you up while you put weight on your arms so you can usher yourself properly. You’ve been deliberately avoiding his gaze, but right now, your eyes are glued to his face. 

“Yes. Like that.” You both flick your gaze towards Mitsuki. “Do that.” She instructs the photographer to move the side so the angle of the shot captures you both without him blocking you completely. You realize the position you two have. “I agreed to this to make you uncomfortable, but I’m not gonna lie. I’m the one extremely uncomfortable right now.” Kuroo whispers with a hint of regret on his face. The camera flashes start going off but something clicked between the two of you that you two end up laughing. It’s probably the awkwardness and the nerves that’s been hanging on the air that something so shallow as Kuroo admitting his uneasiness, cracked you both up.

It was just a brief exchange of laughter but you feel relaxed. Even though Mistuki is pretty cool for a creative director, she’s still as serious as any professional. So when you see her smiling as you apologized for the delay, you’re a bit shocked.

“No worries dear. Let’s continue then.”

You feel more confident now. You’re you. The reason you became successful on an international level is because of your professionalism and ability to produce quality results.

From being seated on the counter, you’re a few centimeters taller than Kuroo. That completed the idea in your head. You took the glass drink and placed it on your right hand. “Put your hands on my hips,” you tell him then lightly lift his chin with your index finger, “and look at me like you worship me.” The command earned a raised eyebrow from him but you pay no heed to it.

You extend an arm over his right shoulder, the glass dangling on your fingertips. With your index finger on his chin, you look to the camera with provocative eyes. If anything looks wrong with Kuroo, you’ll just let Mitsuki handle it. After all, she’s the one who asked him to be a part of this. 

“Oh yea! That’s really good.” Compared to before, she looks pleased with the shots now. The pose was captured a few times before she speaks again. “Instead of using your finger, grab his hair to tilt his head back.” You comply immediately and tugs his locks downwards. You might’ve done it a bit rougher than you wanted because you heard a raspy grunt from his throat. You got distracted, so instead of looking at the camera, you look at him. 

You regret it. When you said he should look at you with worship, you didn’t think he’d do it this well. Because his hair is pushed completely all the way back, you see every aspect of his face. Nothing was blocking his eyes that were full of yearning and desire. He’s looking at you like you’re not just the hottest girl in the bar, but the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes one. 

“Pull him closer and look here y.n.” You do as you’re told, thankful that you needed to look somewhere else. “Damn. You two look so good right now.” She gently claps her hands while looking at the monitor.

“I’m already satisfied, but let’s just do one more for another option. Umm, Kuroo. You be the aggressor this time. Y/n, …. you know what to do.” She winks after.

Well, not really you don’t. She just wants you to do the thinking on what to do. You put the glass down and put both your hands on his shoulders. “Help me down?” You ask with an easygoing smile. You don’t want to ruin the momentum of the shoot, so you decide to be nice to him for now. 

 “You got it,” then his hand travels up your waist and guides you down back to the floor. You tell him to lean on the counter. He follows with no complaints. You get his arm and ushers him to wrap it on your waist. When he goes along with your silent instruction, you raise your leg to his side.   

“Tug my skirt up to my thighs.”

He doesn’t react and just squints at you.. “Huh?” Since he did not grasp what you meant, you take it to yourself to do it and slowly gather the material at the ends. Then, you yank it up to your thigh. “Get it?” He whistles as he gets the cloth from your hands. “Hey. Don’t do that. If you’re a real model, you’d be in trouble if I report that behavior.”

“But I’m not a real model, am I?” You glare at his provocation. You won’t be having any of his crap at your workplace. “Kuroo,” you say with a menacing glare and he immediately gets the threat behind it. “My bad, my bad. I’ll behave again, kay? Stop scowling now.” You relax your face and take a deep breath. “Moving on then.” You enclose your left arm on his neck while you plant your right on his chest. You don’t want to direct him any further than this. If this is unsatisfactory, Mitsuki will say something. 

Aaaand she does. “Kuroo-san. Aggressive please. Own her. You don’t want her to get away from you.” Upon hearing Mitsuki’s additional instructions, everything about him intensifies three folds. He pulls you even closer, causing your breath to hitch when his face is dangerously near yours all of a sudden. His sleeves don’t do anything to mask the firmness of his arms. And even with the velvet fabric, you can still the strength of his thighs as they’re pinned on yours. The heat of his hand ignited the skin of your thigh as he clutched the fabric and your flesh forcefully. And his eyes, they no longer worship you. They spoke of something similar, but not quite. 

He wants to devour you whole. 

It was too overwhelming for you, so you look away and close your eyes dramatically to make it seem like you’re being swept away in the moment. After one camera flash, “Okay dear, but I need you to look at him this time.”

The few seconds of breaking away from his fiery stare did you some good. You were able to collect yourself again, but not enough to truly look at him. You just focus your gaze right between his eyes as you did earlier.  

“Nooo. When I said look at him, I meant really look at him. Respond with your own passion. You’re looking a bit of a scared vegetable right now, honey.” You’ve never had feedback like that in forever. Maybe when you tried modeling the first few months, you received something similar to that. But never when you started doing it full time. 

You don’t want to, but you have to. You finally meet his gaze and tap into something inside yourself that you’ve been holding back. You let your desire for him deluge you, let it surge through your veins until you’re aching for him. You push yourself even closer to him, not allowing even air to pass between your bodies. 

“Yes! YES! You want him so much, but you shouldn’t.” 

It was just as she said. You want him so much, so much that it almost hurts. You part your lips slightly as you get lost in the moment.

“Oh my God.” Her words sounded distant. It was there. You can hear it, but what clouded your senses was your heart pounding hard against your chest, his hot breath mingling with yours, and the way his eyes are now devoted to your lips. Not long after, he angles his face so that your lips are almost touching. Just a tiptoe and a kiss will already take place. You clench your fingers on his shirt, holding yourself back from that one tiny push that will allow you to feel his lips on yours again. 

“Holy Shit! HOLY SHIT! That was it. That was the money shot.” Mitsuki’s shrill voice which was followed by her squeal broke the trance you were in. You know what she meant. The shoot is done. Yet, you still feel hot. The heated atmosphere around you two still hasn’t caved in. He let go of your thigh as you put some space away from him. You settle your hands on his shoulders while you rest your forehead on his chest. He doesn’t move either. His hand remains on your waist, but without the force this time. With his other hand, he caringly skims the curve of your shoulder. 

“You okay, kitten?”

His voice is so gentle, you nearly convince yourself that it sounded loving. You nod weakly before heading back to the dressing room without saying anything. 

Kuroo’s gaze followed your back as you disappeared. He was amazed but also bothered at what just happened. You looked really into it, like you really wanted him. If the shoot didn’t finish any sooner, he might have closed that tiny gap that separated your lips from his. He’s been aching for you for so long that his control is slipping inch by inch every time there’s an opportunity to cross that line of friendship you set. When he saw you let go and completely relent within his hold, it was maddening at how he couldn’t have you at the moment. What’s worse is that even without the glamorous set, he knows you’re still not his to have. 

He walks towards the room where his clothes were hung and changes back to his usual suit. He asked the make up staff to remove everything on his face. He doesn’t like the feeling of having a layer of cosmetics on his skin. The hair they couldn’t do anything about because they used a lot of product to fix it up. 

When he gets out of the room, Mitsuki approaches him with a satisfied look on her face

“You did so well for someone with no experience at all. Do you have a card? I can hook you up for other gigs. You’ll do great.”

He smiles graciously at her generous offer, but he doesn’t want it. “Sorry, but I’m not really interested. I only did it cause it was her.” He said truthfully. Mitsuki’s mouth curled in amusement. “You know, y.n’s really good to work with. She always had this cool facade that never went down, and it works for her. We love her for it. But today,” she pauses as she gives him a meaningful look. “I’ve never seen her show such vulnerability and rawness. It was,” she sighs with admiration for you.

“Beautiful, wasn’t it?” He knows exactly what she’s saying. After all, he has seen several times how captivating your authenticity can be. 

“Soo, are you two dating or what?” Her eyebrows twitch up and down from anticipation at what he’s about to answer. He badly wants to say yes, but he doesn’t have that luxury. “Naaah. Like she said, I’m just a friend.”

She’s obviously dissatisfied with his response. He is too, but that’s the lousy truth. Out of the blue, she takes her phone out. “Too bad though. You two looked really good here.” She showed him the photo and it was you and him earlier. You were seated in the counter with your arms on his shoulders and his hands on your waist. It was when you were both laughing at his stupid statement.

“Can you send me that photo?”

“Why should I?”

He’s well aware of what she’s trying to do. It’s a business transaction, except for the lack of formality. She wants to get something in return, and he knows exactly what it is. 

“You’re good.” He admits with an impressed glint in his eyes.

“I am. So what’ll it be?” He knows that she knows she has the upperhand of the negotiation. She could probably tell that there’s something going on with the two of you. It’s just a matter of deciding which information to give her. But he didn’t have the fortune of having too many options. He didn’t want to reveal the nature of your relationship before. He wasn’t sure of your feelings for him. He can only speak for himself. 

“Fine. I sorta like her.” 

Her eyes brighten up. “Aha! I knew it. You should totally ask her out, kay? You’re gonna have tall and beautiful babies.” She put one hand on her cheek and closed her eyes while screeching at her own daydream of you and him getting together. When she calms down, she sends you the image file. “For real though. I’ve never seen her like that,” she points to your dazzling face in laughter in the photo. 

“Hey. What’re you two talking about?” You’re back to your normal clothes, but your hair and makeup was still there. 

“Nothing. Let’s go now?” He spoke immediately before your nosy director could say something. He walks to your direction before heading out together. “Bye! Update me, Kuroo-san!” Mitsuki said as she waved goodbye. You couldn’t help but be curious on what he should update her about. 

The rain stopped so no more umbrella horseplay. When you both get inside his car, you immediately ask him, “What was that about?”

“Uhh. She asked if I wanted to do other modeling projects.”

“Do you?”

He didn’t hesitate before answering, “No. That sort of stuff is not for me. I only did it to piss you off.” He starts the engine, then pivots his body to face you. “I must say though. I enjoyed seeing you eyefuck me.” Just when you are getting used to the peaceful, non-smug Kuroo, his true personality kicks right back in. Good thing you took your time getting changed and basically just calmed yourself down. 

“Glad you did. That’s the most you can get from me after all.”

His smile turned upside down at your remark. “Tch.” Your lips tug upwards at the side from his lack of retaliation. 

“I haven’t told you yet, but it wasn’t my first modeling experience.” 

You’re a bit surprised. Even though he has the appearance of a model, you didn’t think he’d do it. You agree with what he said just a while ago. It wasn’t for him. He’s best at his job right now. 

He gets his phone and scrolls up. He must be looking for a photo to show you as proof. When you see his screen, your heart swells. It was you and him a year ago. The neckline of your shirt was pulled to your shoulder for a makeshift off-shoulder while he knotted his t-shirt to form a crop top. You two wore large smiles while posing silly in front of the cam. It was right after when you told him that you’re a model.

“I- you... umm. You kept these?” You swipe the screen and see every single photo you took that day. Not one was deleted. You remember the laughter and absurd joy behind each frame. 

“Yea. Why wouldn’t I?”

One more swipe and there’s no other photo after yours. That’s when you notice that the photos are in the Favorites album. You felt like you were about to tear up. You’ve never felt so cherished in your whole life. Even though you left without saying a proper goodbye and no indication of going back, he still kept them. You tried so hard to forget about him, yet there he was, keeping these small tokens of what you had - proof that you really had been a part of his life.You felt something inside you crumble piece by piece. You should be scared, but at the moment, you don’t feel any fear. Instead, you were enraptured. 

You can feel your cheeks hurting from how wide your grin is. You don’t bother hiding it from him. 

“Can you send these to me?” You turn to him with the smile still plastered on your face, but he frowns at your question. 

“Those photos came from you.” 

You look back at his phone, your big smile reduced into a faint one that’s traced with melancholy. “I deleted them when I went to the US.” If he asks why, you wouldn’t know how to answer. Fortunately, he doesn’t. He gets his phone back from your hand and fiddles with it a bit. A few seconds later, you hear a notification from your own phone. When you open it, all the photos are sent to you. 

He looks at you warmly, his face devoid of anything but heartfelt fondness. “There. Like you never got rid of them.”

---

You lie on your bed with bottomless thoughts that night. Kuroo’s words weighed more than they should in your head as you stare at the photos. 

You deleted them to completely erase any trace of his existence in your life. Now they’re back in your phone with not a single photo missing from the stack. Ironically, it’s also you who asked for them back. Yet, you don’t mind. You came to accept that those memories existed. They happened. There’s no use trying to forget they did when he’s already back in your life anyways.

Looking at you and Kuroo in the images, you can’t avoid thinking how simple those times were. You were just two cool people who had sex for fun. You had no clue things would happen as they did - falling for him, leaving, and for some reason - destiny or whatever, meeting him again. The past you tried to leave behind crept up to you and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

You thought you’ve moved on. You’ve thoroughly convinced yourself that you’ve disposed of all unnecessary emotions that involved Kuroo. You thought that whatever it is that you felt when you met him again was just remnants of yesterday. You were so wrong. That‘s just what you tried to tell yourself, repeating the idea over and over in your head until you believed it. 

But it never really happened. You haven’t forgotten about him. When you went on dates in the U.S., you’d remember him. So you stopped trying to see anyone and attributed that to being scared of getting hurt again. Hence, you shut yourself out to anyone until you no longer found dating to be interesting. You told yourself getting in a relationship would just get in the way of your career. 

That wasn’t true. 

The truth is just as he said. Your feelings for him are still there, you never did get rid of them. The question now is how to proceed from here.

You jerk when your phone rings right at your hand. 

‘Kuroo’

You don’t want to answer it. You basically just admitted to yourself that you’re still in love with him. Hearing his voice right now would be dangerous for your fragile heart.

But it might be something important. He doesn’t usually call.

You press the answer button. You were about to say hello, but your heart was beating so fast that you were unable to get any word out.

“Hello?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat so you could speak. “Yeah?”

“Is something wrong? You sound a bit off?” How he could tell even through a phone call is unbelievable. “Everything’s fine. Why’d you call anyways?” You do your best to sound normal. “Block your Thursday next week. I’m throwing a party.”

“What for?”

“Mmm. Just felt like having one.”

You minimize the call to check your calendar if you had any plans that day. “Alright. I have an event in the morning, but that night’s free.”

“Nice!!” He sounded a bit too glad. 

“Is that why you called?” It’s a bit suspicious that he rang you just for that. It’s just a party. He could’ve texted you instead. 

“Why? Am I not allowed to call when I want to?” Your heart skips a beat from the playful tone in his voice. You picture him smirking on his phone while he’s lying in bed. You bite your lip at the image in your head. 

Screw you and your stupid imagination. 

“Good night, Kuroo.” You said dismissively. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything else important anyways. He chuckles from the other line before speaking so ever softly with tenderness that gives you butterflies in your stomach.

“Good night, kitten.” 

It was just a simple good night but you were reeling. You fight the smile that was forcing itself to form on your lips. You look at your photos one more time and sigh. 

You are so in love with him. 

On the other end, Kuroo is all smiles to himself. Nothing beats hearing your voice after a long day. Once again, he stares at the photo Mitsuki gave him that afternoon. He wishes it was real. He wishes you were smiling for him, laughing with him, and happy with him. If only you gave any indication that you like him more than a friend, he would’ve made his move. 

Even though he knows you still desire him, he wouldn’t settle for just sex. He doesn’t want a repeat of the past. He wants something further than that and more importantly, you deserve better than that. But so far, he could tell you were enjoying the friendship and companionship only. Even if he wanted to take things forward, he’s not sure that that’s what you want. You haven’t given anything away for him to make his move. He doesn’t want to risk it and have you running for the hills. 

Will he ever make you fall for him? Should he just leave things as is or do something bolder for you to realize that to him, you’re not just a friend?

He sighs. 

He’s so in love with you.

Part 6 | Part 8 |  m.list

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