#the tone of the usual cheerful movie changed drastically here

[chaoflaka]

So to sum up how the new Guardians movie was in a nutshell

[jwminssi]

it’s blue (the feeling i got) | jikook

devils roll the dice angels roll their eyes and park jimin can’t seem to be able to stay away from bad boy jeon jeongguk and his gaze full of stars

inspired by taylor swift’s ‘cruel summer’ | 7K - m - sad ending (read on ao3)

the light shining in through the window is just starting to turn orange when jimin’s phone alerts him of a new message.

lazily sprawled on his bed, he sighs as he reads it on the notification bar, thumb hovering over it as he ponders whether or not to open it - he’s only trying to fool himself, though; those messages never go ignored.

jimin taps on the message icon when the notification disappears and rereads what he had already seen.

come meet me

nothing more, nothing less. but he shouldn’t expect any different than the subtly imperative tone that he’s learned to read even through text, not with the way things work between him and the person on the other side.

jimin sighs and gets up, quickly changing from his crumpled clothes into clear jeans, a tight-fitting t-shirt and a jacket, sitting back down and lacing up his blue allstars that have somehow turned into his signature item; he checks his hair in the mirror, running his fingers through it a few times, and only bothers with some lip balm before he’s carefully opening his bedroom door and looking around the hallway.

the house is quiet, but he still needs to be cautious of any noise he might make - he can’t have his father or brother finding out he’s about to go out with someone they both hate. the garden gate makes a sound of protest as jimin pulls it open and he stands there alert, watching the windows in search for any movement coming from inside; nothing happens, so he continues until he has successfully sneaked out and his shoes are touching the pavement on the street.

the black tesla roadster is parked at the same corner jimin usually finds it when they meet - a block away from where he lives, in front of a house with a pretty garden and a swing for the kids. it looks powerful and imposing, and jimin supposes it’s only a reflection of its owner.

he opens the door and gets inside without thinking too much about it, aware that by now he’s way past the hesitation stage with how many times he’s been sneaking out like this. the rush never dies, his heart always seems to want to jump out of his chest whenever he meets the galaxy eyes of the other boy, but jimin has gotten used to their routine.

“hey.” comes the greeting from the driver’s seat, his voice slightly hoarse from the cigarette that makes him still smell like smoke. another thing that jimin has grown accustomed to, the scent that sometimes lingers on his clothes and his hair after their encounters; he doesn’t hate it, but he would much rather have his soft perfume sticking to his skin instead.

“thought i wasn’t gonna hear from you today.” jimin says and he tries not to sound bitter about the fact that he’s only an option when jeongguk wants a warm body in the quiet of the night. he understands that they’re a dirty secret to be kept from both their families, not willing to risk everything for a summer love - if it can even be called that; jimin is sure it’s more of a summer meaningless fling, at least on the other side of their story.

“you know i always come back for you, babe.” it’s the petname that does it, and jimin scoffs, crossing his arms and looking out the window. they’re still parked and the swings are moving with the wind now, the silhouettes of two kids running around the house making themselves seen behind the curtains. jimin wishes he could be a carefree little boy again. “hey, what happened?”

jimin sighs. he knows he’s being stupid, that he can’t ask more from jeongguk than what he already gets and that he shouldn’t let out his frustrations on him when he’s the only one that can help ease them. but he can’t help it when he wants so much and is not given even half of what his heart aches for.

“nothing, don’t worry about it.” when he faces jeongguk, he already has his entire upper body facing him in the best way he can while sitting down. he’s studying jimin with his typical unreadable expression, the way he does often, like he can figure out his entire life just by looking at him; jeongguk is attentive and he always seems to catch on everything jimin wants to keep hidden.

it’s a blessing at the same time it’s a nightmare.

“i hate this, too. you know that.” jeongguk almost whispers, one hand coming up to caress jimin’s cheek. but jimin doesn’t know, not really, because despite the sincerity in jeongguk’s voice, he still can’t find anything in his eyes, no matter how deeply he searches.

jimin doesn’t answer but he doesn’t pull away from the touch either, choosing to keep their gazes connected until jeongguk’s slips to his mouth. he leans in, placing a soft kiss on the corner of jimin’s lips, lingering there for a second before he pulls back.

and it doesn’t matter that they’ve been doing this for almost three months now, jimin’s heart still skips a beat whenever jeongguk comes close like this. there are still butterflies in his stomach when they touch and goosebumps on his skin when they kiss, and jimin hates it. but he hates even more the fact that he can’t hate it enough to put a stop to it.

“have i ever told you that you’re beautiful?” jeongguk asks, eyes wandering all over jimin’s face, pleased when a light blush heats up his cheeks, the type of unconscious reaction jimin can’t control.

“only about a thousand times.”

“a thousand and one, then.” jeongguk says, their lips brushing with each word pronounced. “you’re beautiful, park jimin.”

and jimin is weak because he can’t stop himself from melting at the words and against jeongguk’s lips moving over his. they kiss slowly, like they have all the time in the world and there isn’t a clock ticking above their heads ready to scream that their time is up. jeongguk’s tongue is skilled as it traces the roof of his mouth and jimin shivers, sighing into the kiss and forgetting all about how he was supposed to be mad at himself for letting this go so far.

when jeongguk pulls away, his eyes are radiating their usual shine, hundreds of stars living in them and making him so alluring. jimin knows they’re the ones to blame for his fall.

”where are we going?” jimin asks after jeongguk pecks his lips one last time and turns the engine on, the soft purr of it sounding almost like home to him by now.

”to watch the sunset.”

that’s the last thing jeongguk says for the entire ride, though one of his hands rest on the inside of jimin’s thigh until they reach their destination. jimin would think he’s claiming him, but there’s no one to see it and the warmth of the touch is only physical, just like their relationship.

but jimin knew from the start jeongguk was a bad idea.

it was his first day back to his hometown after almost five years of living in another country and he was being dragged out late at night by one of his childhood friends who managed to keep in touch.

(jimin didn’t really want to go, but no one has a choice when it’s kim taehyung calling the shots.)

they drove for thirty minutes to a more secluded part of the city that made jimin question if he could still trust taehyung or if he was taking him to a murder site. he frowned when cheers and music could he heard even though he was sure they weren’t there yet but his friend refused to clear up any of his doubts.

jimin was sure he was in a movie scene when taehyung finally stopped his car beside all the other expensive-looking vehicles that were parked around the road. the place wasn’t crowded but there were definitely enough people to make it loud, all gathered into small groups and drinking, smoking and celebrating whatever occasion this was. ahead of them, away from the other cars and people, jimin spotted two shiny cars, one black and one red, and his heart skipped a beat when he realized he knew who the second one belonged to.

you didn’t tell me my brother was going to be here!, he said to taehyung, close to panicking at running into jiwoo at a place like this.

oh, taehyung frowned, i didn’t know he was racing tonight.

jimin sighed, biting his lip as he looked for jiwoo to show up so he could avoid him. his father would kill both of them if he found out where his sons were and jimin would rather not risk it by ending up getting caught by his brother and causing a scene so- wait, what did taehyung say?

racing?, jimin asks just to be sure he heard it right. taehyung always had a habit of dragging him to the weirdest places.

taehyung grinned that devilish grin of his, the one that always screamed trouble, we’re here to watch a street race, jiminie!

isn’t that illegal?, jimin’s heart stopped. he was going to die and his father would be the one to do it.

but taehyung only laughed at him, so?

what the fuck do you mean, so? and what the fuck is my brother doing here?, jimin tried to keep his voice low so that only taehyung could hear him but it was getting harder the more his nerves got the best of him.

oh my god, you worry too much!, taehyung rolled his eyes, the police turns a blind eye to it because most racers have pretty influential families, so relax. and your brother is here because he’s one of them. he’s pretty good, there’s only one guy he can’t beat.

jimin wasn’t  completely convinced that he wouldn’t end up in jail for watching the race so he crossed his arms and frowned. a big explosion of laughter near the two main cars caught his attention and he noticed the owner of the black tesla roadster was now leaning against it as he chatted with who jimin presumed were his friends. he looked a bit familiar, though, so jimin dug up inside his brain until he was struck with the probable answer.

is that..., he trailed off, not wanting to sound stupid in case he was wrong.

the jeon kid, yup, taehyung grins, grew up nicely, huh?

understatement, jimin mutters as he watches him.

jeon jeongguk looked drastically different from what jimin remembered. when he left, he was still awkwardly making his way through puberty at sixteen years of age, a scrawny kid with a haircut chosen by his mother and all the characteristics of an antisocial mess. the jeongguk that jimin saw in front of him was someone entirely: his hair was longer, falling over his eyes in a way that was deliberately messy, one of his arms was covered in tattoos that his t-shirt did nothing to hide, he was taller, broader, and the way he held the cup in his hands made jimin wonder just how strong he had gotten.

jimin closed his mouth when he realized he had been almost drooling over him and watched as his brother approached the group, said something that made jeongguk snort and marched to his car. a whistle was blown and everyone started moving, sitting on the hoods of their cars and gathering with their friends for what's coming next. jimin looked over at taehyung as if asking what he was supposed to do next and found him already seated on top of his own audi, tapping the space next to him so that jimin can join.

by the time the crowd settled down, the two racers already had their engines running, their soft hums filling in the night and mixing with the encouraging cheers of everyone watching. jimin felt his blood pump with adrenaline and he wasn't even the one racing; he had never been the type to take part in anything that led him out of his comfort zone, so it didn't take much for his heart to get a different rush than what he was used to. it was a weird feeling, but he found that he wouldn't mind living it more often.

the race lasted barely fifteen minutes, but jimin was on edge the entire duration of it. taehyung teased him, asking if he wasn't glad he dragged him out, noticing how invested jimin seemed to be into the whole thing. it was as much of a surprise to him as it was to jimin himself, who had never thought he could enjoy something like this so much, especially knowing that it was illegal. the screams increased in volume and jimin perked up, pleased when he saw that jeongguk's car was the one coming in first - he never had the best relationship with his brother, it's not that much of a stretch to say he wasn't rooting for him all along. the crowd went crazy when jeongguk came out to greet them, eyes glistening with something dangerous as he waved at everyone watching, clearly not shocked that he was the first to cross the finish line.

jiwoo's car parked next to his not even a minute later and the racer glared at jeongguk as if the gesture could make him faster or as if he could kill him with just his eyes. jeongguk winked at him, laughing in his amused state when jiwoo cursed at him before turning around and leaving so that jimin hopefully wouldn't see his face again. jeongguk looked radiant, just the right amount of cocky to make him even more attractive and to have him stand out in the middle of the sea of people patting his back for his victory.

taehyung jumped from the hood of his car and grabbed jimin's wrist, pulling him right into the road until they were standing beside jeongguk's car with the boy's attention fully on them. his eyes really did shine like galaxies and jimin found himself awestruck at how mature and absolutely gorgeous he looked now.

tae, hey, jeongguk smiled at them, pushing his hair away from his face with his tattoed fingers. jimin couldn't stop his staring.

i'd congratulate you but it's not even a surprise, taehyung rolled his eyes playfully and jeongguk laughed.

you should have bet on me, the racer said, eyes finally falling over jimin with curiosity, who's your friend?

taehyung snickered, take a closer look, i'm sure you'll remember him.

jeongguk raised an eyebrow at jimin, shamelessly checking him out with the excuse that he was trying to figure out where he remembered him from. jimin felt small under his gaze, but he couldn't for the life of him pull himself away from it, trapped in the intensity of jeongguk's eyes and everything he was made of. the racer came closer then, tilting his head to the side, and jimin saw realization wash over his features before it was replaced by surprise.

no way... jiwoo's little brother?, he smiled, absolutely thrilled that he had someone so close to his biggest rival right in front of him like that, jimin, right? you look... different, he smirked as if he knew something jimin didn't and it sent a shiver down the other boy's spine. he was starting to find out jeongguk was a force of nature to be dealt with.

you're one to talk, jimin answered in the same tone and jeongguk seemed pleased.

does your brother know you're here?, he let his body rest against the hood of his car and crossed his arms. jimin took the time to admire his body and the way his clothes hugged his muscles in all the right places. he wasn't subtle about it and, even though the blush on his cheeks told him to stand down, he kept his chin up when jeongguk noticed.

you're not gonna tell him, are you?

i'm very good at keeping secrets.

jimin was about to find out just how much that statement was true.

jimin comes back from his thoughts when jeongguk stops the car.

looking out the window, he can see they're at their usual spot: a hill by the beach where the horizon is perfectly laid out for them to enjoy and just far enough away from any prying eyes that might ruin their private times together. jimin loves it there, it's a place where he's free to be himself with jeongguk, without the need to hold back on his thoughts, words and actions; jeongguk, too, looks and feels better when they're out on their own like this, away from the pressure of their CEO fathers and just being able to enjoy each other's touches.

the sun is halfway to sharing a kiss with the sea when jimin steps out of the car, the entire sky a bright shade of orange that's about to give place to a hot summer night. he’s been up there enough times to lose count but the view still leaves him breathless the same way it did on the first night he sneaked out with jeongguk.

he hugs his body to try protecting himself from the wind and sits on the hood of jeongguk’s car, caressing the black metal under his fingertips as he asks himself if he really got attached to a car - as if just the owner wasn’t enough. waves crash in the distance and jimin can’t help but to close his eyes and lose himself in the atmosphere, choosing to forget about everything that’s killing him inside at least for the time being.

there’s movement beside him and the car moves a bit so jimin opens his eyes. jeongguk is there, sitting on top of the hood as well, thigh touching jimin’s and body radiating warmth.

”you’re quiet today.” he says, watching the view even though he’s aware jimin is looking at him.

”just thinking.”

jeongguk finally turns to him, eyes so deep and inviting that jimin could compare them to the sea ahead of them if he hadn’t already settled on linking them to the sky above. “don’t think too much.” he mutters, raising an open bottle of wine that jimin didn’t even realize he was holding.

jimin’s answer is a scoff as he takes it, brings it to his lips and takes large sips, not even grimacing at the slight bitterness of the alcohol down his throat. the wine is smooth on his tongue, almost sweet and it’s no surprise that jeongguk knows exactly how he likes it - the same way he knows how jimin likes everything else, how he eats his food, how he buys his clothes, and just the right way to fuck him.

the alcohol hits his empty stomach harshly and jimin gets dizzy for a quick second but ignores it in favor of drinking one more time. jeongguk is watching him closely, studying him in that way he always does, like jimin isn’t already an open book for his eyes to read.

”are you trying to get drunk?” jeongguk asks as he pushes himself away from the car and into jimin’s space, standing in between his open legs while his fingers trace invisible patterns on his knees.

”always.” jimin answers and drinks again before the bottle is taken from him mid-sip, making a drop of wine run down his chin and stain its path. “you have to stop giving me things only to take them away when i start enjoying them.”

he’s not talking about wine anymore but he didn’t mean for the words to come out - maybe he is getting drunk already, despite his often high tolerance; he did spend the day without eating anything only to chug down half a bottle at once, after all. jeongguk sighs as he collects the drop of wine that escaped jimin’s mouth with his thumb and takes it to his own lips. he knows what jimin is saying, he always understands even his most indirect comments; again, a blessing and a nightmare, because jimin can’t even be petty in peace.

”what’s gotten into you today?” jeongguk asks quietly as he inches closer, his hands travelling from jimin’s knees to his thighs where he squeezes lightly before running the tip of his nose over jimin’s neck. “is it because summer is about to end?” he whispers against the sensitive skin and jimin can feel his smile just before he bites down at his pulse point making him whine. “are you going to miss me?”

”are you going to miss me?” jimin shoots the question back at him, holding him close by his jacket.

”obviously.” jeongguk answers without thinking while he kisses jimin's neck. jimin hates how he loves that jeongguk didn't even hesitate before saying it.

”but are you going to miss me?" he asks, pulling away so that he can look into jeongguk's eyes, their noses barely touching. "or just my body?”

”both." jeongguk frowns. "you know that, jimin." he holds jimin's face in his hands and tries to kiss him on the lips but jimin turns away from him. "baby, what’s wrong?” he questions carefully, brushing the hair away from jimin's eyes where the wind messed it up.

jimin sighs heavily and puts some space between them, leaning back on his hands. jeongguk lets his own hands fall back to rest on jimin's thighs. ”nothing, just ignore me. i’m tired and a little tipsy, that’s all.” he tries to smile but he can tell it doesn't work when jeongguk's frown deepens and he pokes his cheek with the tip of his tongue, a habit he has when he's not quite convinced of something.

”did your brother say something to you again?” jeongguk guesses, knowing how jiwoo can be with his words and having heard from jimin himself the absurd things the older said to him numerous times. he doesn't despise jiwoo simply because they're rivals on the streets, where he tries to take his number one place every single time, but because their ideals clash and he can't stand people like him. he doesn't blame jimin for moving to the other side of the world to get away from his family, he would do the same if he didn't have someone else to look after.

but jimin doesn't answer. instead he wraps his legs around jeongguk's waist and acomodates him better, though he still keeps the rest of his body at a safe distance. jeongguk looks down to where they're touching, running his hands over the expanse of jimin's legs, always pleased to be in between them, thinking about how he's going to miss him when summer ends and they have to act like none of this ever happened - even though they already kind of do. he doesn't force jimin to say anything, knows that when he's in a mood like this nothing can get him to talk about what's bothering him and that the only way to help him feel better is by pretending everything is fine like he tries so hard to do; jeongguk wishes he didn't feel obligated to act tough all the time.

”do you ever think about running away?” jimin changes the topic of conversation, though jeongguk can tell his mind is still focused on it.

”all the time.” he answers honestly, eyes trained on jimin’s reaction. jeongguk has always been great at reading people, but somehow with jimin it’s even easier; it’s almost like their souls communicate on their own.

”not with me, though.” jimin mutters but he’s not looking at jeongguk anymore. he lifted one of his hands to start tracing patterns over his arms and his gaze is now following the movement; there’s a hint of bitterness in his voice even though he tried not to let it show.

jeongguk sighs and takes the hand from his arm to hold in between his. ”thinking about something and doing it are two completely different things. just because i can’t do it, doesn’t mean i don’t want to.”

”would you?” jimin whispers and it sounds like he’s afraid of the answer. “run away with me?”

jeongguk hums and smiles, eyes sparkling. ”we’d go somewhere no one knows us.” he kisses jimin’s knuckles softly. “where we can be happy together.”

that sounds like a dream to jimin. growing up in a homophobic family, he could never be himself until the day he decided to leave and go study in a foreign country - the biggest reason for him to take such a long time to visit. his brother is the only one who knows about his sexuality - a slip on jimin’s part - and as much as he’s an idiot through and through about it, he never told their parents; to this day, jimin has no idea why. living abroad has helped him break out of the character his family built for him, but it’s still hard for jimin to open up to more intimate and deep relationships, and as much as he never expected to fall so deeply for jeongguk so fast,  it wouldn’t hurt to be able to live that love the way he wants to.

but jimin is not the only with a complicated background. jeongguk’s parents - well, his father and stepmother - fall on the same side of the scale as jimin’s family and there’s never an easy day for him, having to bow down to his father’s rules and live under the same roof as the man who threatens to take everything from him if he so much as slips simply because he likes men. and by everything, he doesn’t mean his money, his car or his fancy clothes, but all that jeongguk really cares about: his little sister. ever since their mother died, jeongguk has taken it upon himself to pass to little jisoo everything the woman taught him, knowing that their father couldn’t care less about raising a child the proper way.

she’s the only reason jeongguk doesn’t even ponder on the idea of dropping everything and running away, and jimin is not selfish to the point of asking him to do that because he doesn’t want to deal with a broken heart.

”i’d like that.” jimin whispers once again before throwing his arms around jeongguk’s neck, realizing he’s only wasting precious time acting like this instead of enjoying what they have left.

jimin is completely wrapped around jeongguk now but he doesn't seem to care; in fact, he brings jimin even closer by hugging his waist until he has successfully glued their bodies together. it's something neither will ever get tired of, being close like this and feeding off each other's warmth, pretending that the world is only made up of the two of them even if just for a few hours.

it's jimin who first moves it for a kiss but that doesn't matter when they always meet in the middle. since the first time their lips touched - in the dark corner of a tiny kitchen at a celebratory party after one of jeongguk's races - they've been in perfect sync, bodies matching in rhythm the same way their hearts do; jimin swears no other kiss he ever experienced can make him feel whole like jeongguk's does.

though their lips move slowly against each other, jimin feels like the sea he hears with his eyes closed: agitated, heavy and alive. the emotions inside of him are boiling and threatening to spill over, have become so big and intense that he can barely keep them in secret, and jimin doesn't know what to do with himself when he feels like this, when jeongguk touches him like he's the most precious thing he has ever encountered, something to be cared for, loved and treated with care. all he knows is that he wishes he could live in this moment forever, away from his family and his worries, just trapped in jeongguk's arms.

they kiss for what feels like an eternity, souls mingling together at the same time their tongues slide against each other, lips locking and unlocking with wet noises that make goosebumps rise on jimin's skin. he's whimpering against jeongguk's mouth, fingers making a mess of his hair as he tries to deepen their connection even more, hoping that if he works hard enough, he'll be able to meld their bodies into one.

jeongguk is holding on to him just as tightly, as if he’s scared jimin will disappear if he as much as thinks about letting go. he has gotten progressively more passionate over the months - a voice in jimin’s mind tells him it’s because he’s just as desperate to not let this end as he is - and jimin loves the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by his touch. his mouth travels down to jimin’s neck, licking and biting at his most sensitive spots that he already knows by heart and getting breathy moans to spill from his lips as he does so.

”could stay like this with you forever.” he mutters against jimin’s skin, inhaling his sweet scent and groaning when jimin tightens his legs around him.

the way jeongguk moves his lips against his makes jimin go dizzy with want. he’s thorough and intense in everything he does and kissing is no exception; jeongguk’s tongue explores jimin’s mouth skilfully, wrapping itself around jimin’s before pulling away to give space for his teeth to nip and pull at his bottom lip, transforming it into an ever prettier shade of red.

jeongguk’s hands are restless as they roam over his body, pulling and squeezing in his need to feel him better. he toys with the button on jimin’s jeans before popping it open, allowing him to slip his fingers inside and grab his ass without any layer of clothes in the way. jimin moans loudly against his mouth when their hips meet, friction making their semi-hard cocks twitch, and his own hands that were under jeongguk’s shirt curl to leave faint scratches behind as he grinds against him once more.

jimin loves the way he loses himself in jeongguk when they’re together, like nothing else matters but them.

"shit, is that jiwoo's brother?" the voice cuts through the night and makes jimin jump away from jeongguk like he’s been struck by lightning; he licks his lips as if that can make them less swollen and hurries to button his pants again.

"mind your own business, siwon.” jeongguk’s tone is sharp as a knife and he keeps a protective hand on jimin’s thigh though he’s taken a step away from him.

"oh man, he's gonna love hearing about this.” siwon claps his hands and only then do they realize he’s not alone; jimin can recognize the other boy as one of jiwoo’s close friends, jisung, the one that’s always oddly quiet and up to cause trouble. “hey jimin, what do you think he's going to do when he finds out you're fucking his biggest rival?"

jeongguk takes his hand from jimin’s thigh and turns to the two newcomers completely, brows furrowed and absolute fury in his eyes. jimin’s heart skips a beat in the worst way: he’s seen jeongguk angry before, it has never been pretty.

"gguk...” he calls, holding him by the wrist more as a way to remind jeongguk he’s there, a way to ground him because he knows he can’t actually stop him using force.

"and you, jeon, do you think he's gonna be happy you're keeping jimin as your own personal slut?" siwon and jisung both snicker like they just heart the world’s funniest joke. jimin’s grip on jeongguk tightens.

"don't you fucking dare talk about him like that." jeongguk spits at them, low and dangerous, but siwon doesn’t seem affected by it and comes closer.

"what, did you catch feelings already?” he mocks. “is he that good at sucking cock?” jeongguk looks back at jimin, then, as if apologizing before he pulls himself free while siwon keeps on talking. “i mean, with that mouth i bet he's fucking incre-“

the first punch hits siwon right on the chin, forcing him to close his mouth and effectively shutting him up. he spits his own blood on the ground before charging at jeongguk full force, fists closed and ready to be used.

jimin jumps from the hood of the car and tries to come up with a way to make them stop without getting hurt himself. he’s seen jeongguk fight like this before and it’s obvious that he can handle it - even though jisung has decided to join and he’s at disadvantage now - but he’s not about to let him get beaten up and show up at his house covered in bruises later, not that this is any news to his parents.

as much as they’re fighting unfairly, siwon and jisung are still looking worse than jeongguk, with blood running down their faces until there’s angry red drops staining their clothes and the beginnings of black eyes on both of them. when jisung manages to hold jeongguk down and siwon delivers a knee to his stomach, jimin decides he’s had enough.

his wine bottle is still by the car where jeongguk had left it earlier and he picks it up, feeling the liquid move inside and hating that it’s going to waste like this. there isn’t even a moment of hesitation in jimin before he hits the back of siwon’s head with the bottle hard enough for it to break and for him to fall down.

he takes advantage of siwon’s disoriented state and sits on top of him, holding a piece of the broken bottle to his throat to stop him from moving. “if you ever breathe a word about this to anyone, you better be ready to see me again. and i swear to you, siwon, i won’t be this nice.”

jimin gets up and grabs jeongguk - who was still punching jisung - by the arm, dragging him to his car and leaving the other two there along with the glass and the spilled wine, forever staining their secret place. he’s back to being angry and jeongguk chooses not to say anything, only nodding when jimin tells him to go to the pharmacy near his house.

it’s a bad type of a quiet in the car as they drive further back into the city.

jimin is drumming his fingers against his jeans, frustrated as he relives the past ten minutes inside his head and wonders what he could have possibly done to deserve not being able to be free as himself.

it seems ironic that the person who reminds him of the cage he lives in is the same who makes him feel like he can fly.

with jeongguk, jimin always feels like he’s living in another reality, when they’re alone and happy, doing whatever they want as long as they’re together. but with jeongguk, when they’re parting ways after sneaking out, jimin also feels stupid for falling for a lie that can take him higher than the sky but drops him from that same height and breaks all his hopes.

there’s no winning with jeongguk, and jimin thought he was ready for the fall.

when they stop, jimin risks a look at jeongguk but he refuses to meet his gaze, so he sighs and opens the door, crossing the parking lot to get to the pharmacy’s front door where he rubs at his eyes under the fluorescent lights. he picks up everything he needs to deal with bruises like that and heads over to the counter, where the cashier gives him a hard look, eyeing the things he’s buying and adding them to his messy hair and his wine-stained shirt.

when jimin comes out, jeongguk is waiting for him outside the car, leaning against the hood, and he doesn’t waste time before stopping in front of him and getting to work.

“this has to stop.” jimin finally breaks the silence as he tends for a cut on jeongguk’s cheekbone.

”i can’t just sit and hear people talk shit like that, you know me.” he does his best to stay still through his frustration at hearing jimin’s words and the sting of the antiseptic.

jimin sighs, heart in pieces for what he’s about to say. ”i don’t mean the fights.”

it takes a moment for jeongguk to process what jimin meant but it’s obvious when he does, because he pulls away abruptly, eyes filled with something akin to betrayal.

”you’re talking about us.” he concludes and his voice doesn’t even waver, but remains sharp as ever. jimin swears he feels it cut him.

”summer is almost over anyways.” jimin pulls him back to finish what he’s doing and jeongguk lets him but scoffs, clearly not pleased.

”and you’re just deciding that by yourself?” he raises his voice slightly and it hurts because jimin never had jeongguk angry at him; he’s finding out just how much of a horrible feeling it is.

”you know i’m right, jeongguk.” jimin whispers, doing his best to hold himself together.

jeongguk doesn’t argue but he pushes jimin’s hand away from him harshly before he can deal with all of his bruises and gets back to his car. jimin swallows down the lump in his throat and puts everything back inside the bag to join him, knowing that he won’t leave him there to walk home no matter how pissed off he is.

inside the car, jimin tosses the pharmacy supplies on the back seat in hopes that jeongguk will use them later - even though he’s sure he won’t.

it’s a short ride to jimin’s house but the heavy atmosphere and the deafening silence make it feel like hours. jimin can only look out the window and watch the city go by them, realization dawning on him that these are his last minutes with jeongguk and they’re spending them in bad terms.

“so it’s a goodbye, then.” jeongguk says, turning the car off. he doesn’t turn to look at jimin like he usually does when he drops them off.

“it has to be.” jimin wills the words to come out, not really wanting to utter them.

”no, it doesn’t.” jeongguk finally faces him and he’s frowning again. “not yet.” if jimin didn’t know him, he would say jeongguk is about to start begging.

”look at your face!” jimin hears how broken he sounds in his own voice. he hates it. “i always hated that we had to do things like this but it just got worse. i don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you, jeongguk, not when it puts us in danger.”

"so you're just giving up like that?" and of course jeongguk would throw that on him like this, so used to doing things his way that he doesn’t know how to act when he can’t get them according to his own wishes.

"oh, like you're willing to fight for us?��� jimin doesn’t mean to play that card but it’s what he has right now. either way, it works because jeongguk averts his gaze and clenches his jaw. “we never had a chance, jeongguk. we were over before we even started." that last part comes as a whisper, a truth that they always knew was there but never had the courage to say out loud.

there isn’t anything else to be said but jimin still sits there waiting dor an answer, simply because he’s dreading the moment he will step out of that car and ver talk to jeongguk again. his heart beats violently in his chest as if protesting about having to leave a piece of it behind when he leaves.

jeongguk takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. "okay." he says, not like a permission but to show that he accepted their fate, and jimin knows that’s the hardest thing for him to do.

"don't hate me, gguk.” jimin pleads, hoping he can hold back the tears already pooling in his eyes until he’s safely hiding in his bedroom.

jeongguk reaches out to cup jimin’s face, looking broken himself. "i could never." he assures and jimin believes him because he wouldn’t be touching him so tenderly if he did.

their lips meet again  and jimin tries his hardest but he still can’t stop the tears that run down his cheeks and turn their last kiss salty.

"i love you." jimin whispers against jeongguk's lips when he pulls back and for the first time in almost three months he manages to catch him off guard, his galaxy eyes sparkling with a vulnerability he had never seen before. "ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?" and then he's out of the car, walking home without looking back.

jimin doesn't hear from jeongguk during the last week of summer; taehyung stops mentioning him and jimin doesn't attend any of his races scheduled for that period. when jiwoo is driving him to the airport, though, jimin spots the black tesla roadster in the same corner it was always parked waiting for him.

[just-another-fan17]

Like You Never Left

Word count: 12,940 words (geez man)

Pairing(s): Romantic Prinxiety with some small side romantic Logicicality

Warnings: Lots of fluff, lots of angst, but we all love a happy ending (tbh I don’t think there’s any warnings...I guess anxious and or self-depreciating thoughts? Only a little though...don’t you worry) 

Author’s note: WOW OKAY. Hey guys! A little while ago I asked @tinysidestrashcaptain if I could tag them in a story I wrote featuring everyone’s favorite sides and I was really fake because I contacted them FOREVER AGO. I only just now worked up the courage to finish and post it. Oops? I’m sorry I’m doing my best over here. Please be kind to me, this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written.

Just some clarifications below…

 Anything in-between these…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>

…is a flashback

Anything before or after this…

………………………….

…is either a break in scenery or a P.O.V. change

 I included that just in case the writing isn’t clear enough, I’m so sorry. I’m a mess. I’ll go now.

~Laur

Roman’s P.O.V.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, it’s a straight shot. Whoever gets down there first wins and gets to pick the movie for tonight.”

“Bold of you to assume there’s a chance you could ever beat me.”

The two best friends sat in their wagons preparing to take off down the steep hill, one boy ever more confident than the other. After the shouted count, “3…2…1…,” off they went, laughter echoing in the warm summer air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

Roman pulled into the university’s parking lot with far too much time to spend in the lecture hall than he would have preferred. After a quick text, to make sure his friend was already inside, he begrudgingly hauled his backpack on and walked towards the double doors. He’d already had a terrible start to his morning when, in a rush, his shirt got caught in a loose screw on the battered screen door, pulling the thread of the sleeve, causing a small tear. Everything seemed to go downhill from there. As he trekked down the pathway, he found his thoughts drifting to how little time he had left in this place.

Junior year. Spring of junior year to be exact. Graduation was rapidly approaching for seniors, and it was all anyone seemed to be talking about. He was walking up the steps of the main building and could hear a group of friends tittering about graduation parties and dinners. He eyed them wistfully.

After a rough battle with the zipper, he was finally able to wrench the books he needed out of his backpack for art history. He then promptly threw his bag down with a glare.

“Well, don’t you look lovely this fine Friday morning.”

Roman inwardly smiled at his friend’s obvious sarcasm. His mussed up brown hair hadn’t seen a brush yet and his shirt was wrinkled with a long thread dragging a mile behind him. Truth be told he wasn’t quite feeling like himself. He hadn’t for a while, but today he seemed especially frazzled and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. He turned toward his friend sporting an indifferent expression.

“Logan, do me a solid and don’t attempt conversation before 8am,” he deadpanned.

Logan just smirked and raised an eyebrow, occupying the seat next to his friend.

“Is there any particular reason you look like you have not encountered a mirror this morning?” Logan eyed his friend’s out of place appearance.

Roman turned to his friend, hands flailing about, annoyance rolling off of him in waves, as he launched into his rather loud explanation.

“You wouldn’t believe the nonsense I’ve had to endure today! My alarm didn’t go off because my phone was never charging and lost it’s battery so I woke up late. I rushed out of my house only to tear my favorite shirt, suffered through an absolutely ridiculous amount of traffic, and then I didn’t have enough time to stop at Starbucks for my usual,” he finished bitterly.

Logan just smirked at his exasperated friend, barely holding back quiet laughter.

Logan McClure and Roman Prince had been close ever since the two had engaged in a very heated debate in freshman year English. While Logan is far more reserved than Roman, their drastic dynamic differences balance one another out quite seamlessly. Roman will often wax poetry about how it was written in the stars or some other such fated nonsense. Logan likes to think it was how often one was mistaken for the other. Though they only had a few lectures together, teachers always seemed to call them by the wrong name. Both with brown hair, hazel eyes, and a similar tall stature, it was difficult for most to tell them apart before Logan opted for his glasses instead of contacts. Though, in hindsight, their stark personality differences should have done the job.

Both boys waited for their teacher in amicable silence. Logan glanced at Roman out of the corner of his eye frowning. Something was going on with his friend, he could feel it. Logan knows he’s more emotionally inept than most, but if the great Roman Prince is known for one thing, it being obnoxiously loud and ‘looking absolutely fabulous at all times!’ He would be lying if he told himself Roman’s rather subdued expression and unkempt appearance wasn’t quite jarring.

“Hey, Roman-”

Roman’s text tone abruptly stopped him from voicing his thoughts.

Logan saw his face morph into something giddy…and that always spelled trouble.

“Remy’s friend is having a bonfire this Saturday!” Roman’s face lit up at the prospect, while Logan groaned internally.

Roman slowly turned to his friend, a sly expression already in place.

“Hey Lo-”

Logan, in turn, cut him off before he could even begin.

“No. I am not going to subject myself to the nonsense of Remy Marzena on one of my only two days of peace and quiet.”

Logan’s tone brooked no argument, but Roman’s puppy dog eyes had other plans.

“But I can’t go by myself! Besides, you know our dear friend Patton will be there too…” he trailed off enticingly.

“You say that as though it will influence my desire to go.” Logan leveled him with a look, fighting off the blush threatening to spread across his cheeks.

Patton Sanders had puzzled Logan ever since they’d met. He was always cheerful and optimistic at the strangest of times. Logan would forever deny how endearing the literal personification of sunshine could be. Unfortunately for Logan, he and Roman attended Springfield University, while Patton and Remy attended college up town at Pennbrook University. The only reason Logan had ever met Patton was through Roman’s rather unfortunate friendship with Remy. Both had met during the summer of freshman year at the district theater. Logan couldn’t comprehend how one person could be so…extra. Though Roman was quite theatrical himself, Remy, it seemed, was on another level. How he could be related to the sweet, kind, caring, lovable-

“Oh, do excuse me. If it weren’t for me the most socialization you’d ever experience would consist of late nights with your Advanced Methodical Statistics textbook.”

Logan didn’t appreciate the sarcasm, or the spot-on presumption. Roman’s pout was starting to get to him, and Roman did a mental victory dance when he saw the edges of Logan’s eyes soften ever so slightly.

“C’mon Lo, you wouldn’t leave me to fend for myself out there, now would you?”

Logan shifted his gaze to Roman knowing that his answer didn’t matter, seeing as he would be dragged there anyways. Roman’s pout persisted, and Logan winced as he finally felt himself give in.

“Ugh, you make me sick.”

Roman perked up at his friend’s response and texted back that he and Logan would be there. Worked every time. He learned from the best after all.

When the announcements crackled over the loudspeaker he turned and caught a glimpse of his hair in the window’s reflection.

A rat’s nest indeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman sat with his back against his bedroom door knowing the loud knocking would only continue the longer he remained stubborn.

“Come on Ro, open the door. It can’t be that bad!”

Oh, but it was. Sixth grade started tomorrow, and he had a haircut he only ever saw in his nightmares. Everyone, it seemed, has had their experience with this particular nightmarish milestone and he was devastated to have to suffer through it so soon.

“You’re just gonna laugh at me,” Roman huffed.

“I won’t laugh I promise! C’mon open the door,” he trailed off quietly, but encouragingly.

His friend was met with stubborn silence, until a muffled “fine,” could be heard. The door opened to reveal the same old Roman…except his hair was...different. He was sporting a bowl cut that was rather reminiscent of Justin Bieber. The other boy couldn’t help the huge smile that lit up his face, which he quickly attempted hiding behind his hand but to no avail.

“SEE. I knew you would betray me!” He stomped his foot to emphasize his point. He looked for all the world like an angry kitten.

“Aw c’mon it’s not even that bad. You made it sound like they shaved half of it off and cut the rest while wearing a blindfold or something,” he paused at Roman’s squeak of offence and continued, “Look, I know we have school tomorrow, but I practically begged your mom to let me stay and watch a movie and eat lots of food to make you feel better. So, will you come downstairs with me? It’ll take your mind off of it,” he pleaded with his eyes. Those stupid brown puppy dog eyes. He knew Roman couldn’t say no to those stupid brown puppy dog eyes.

Roman looked him up and down, pretending to ponder the offer already knowing he was going to give in, and brushed past him. “We are watching The Incredibles and I get the purple blanket.”

His friend laughed and followed him down the stairs, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, moody.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

He caught a small smile on his face when he snapped back to reality. Almost immediately, his normally cheerful face was downcast, and he stared at his feet. He wouldn’t be thinking about it anymore. As his day wore on, he let his friend’s comments on how tired he seemed today roll off his back, brushing off the concern. He was fine. He just had to convince himself.

His day consisted of the usual monotony plus a lecture on self-representation by multiple teachers. When his last class ended he all but ran to his car. Once he plopped in the front seat he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. After a few minutes of blissful silence, he started the car and let the radio play quietly in the background as he drove. The sun shone through the trees painting the street with a soft afternoon glow.

“Alright listeners, our next set is going to take you back. We’ve got some oldies but goodies right here on 93.7 W.S.T.W…” that was all the warning he got before Dancing Queen followed by Welcome to the Black Parade came on the radio. An odd pairing, but that didn’t stop his squeal of delight as he turned the volume up and rolled the windows down. At stoplights people in neighboring cars and passersby on the street turned to stare. His bitter sweet singing could be heard by all as he turned left down his street.

“WE’LL CARRY OOONNN, WE’LL CARRY OOONNN, AND THOUGH YOU’RE-”

He was abruptly cut off when he almost hit the back of a large truck.

His car jerked to a stop. He turned the radio down as he tried to collect himself. He stayed frozen at the four-way, long after the truck continued on its way, in an attempt to calm his breathing down. The quiet guitar solo continued in his silence as he stared into space. He found his mind wandering to late nights listening to this album with him, the smile upon hearing his favorite solo, his voice…

Eventually, the laughter of three kids riding their bikes snapped him out of the staring contest he was currently having with his steering wheel. His small smile fell from his face as he watched the kids race each other to the townhouse at the end of the street, carelessly throwing their bikes down by the porch. They looked to be no older than 11 or 12 but Roman couldn’t be sure. Once other people moved into that townhouse he hardly paid attention to that sort of thing anymore. Bottling his emotions had served him well so far. Ignorance is a foolproof system.

His thoughts drifted to the occupants of Brookhaven Ave and how little he knew of them now-a-days. He mentally counted the five families that remained from his childhood. Wait, make that four. The Berkley’s had just moved out a two months ago in October. He hadn’t even bothered to get the name of the new family that lived across the street and neither had anyone else in his family. Roman continued to stare at nothing, his eyes glazed over as he was lost in thought.

A loud honk snapped him back to his senses.

“Oh shi-” the curse was mentally cut off as he hit the gas harder than intended, jerking the car forward.

He pulled up to his porch and ambled inside, with a quick “I’m home!” to announce his presence. Without a word from anyone else, he made it to his room where he released a big sigh that was supposed to release the tension from his shoulders. He flopped on his bed and looked out the window only to see those three kids back on their bikes circling around the corner. He let out a wistful sigh as his gaze caught the rope still attached to his bed. He smiled wryly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He used all the strength that a lanky, 9th grade emo could possibly muster to tie the rope securely to the bottom of the bedpost.

“There.” He stood up eyeing his work proudly.

“Okay, so what’s the plan exactly? You haven’t told me what you’re doing and honestly I’m starting to wonder if I should be scared,” Roman said teasingly.

He turned back, trying to hide the blush threatening to spread across his cheeks at Roman’s remark. Thank god for foundation. He took a deep breath that was supposed to help compose himself and turned around, smirk in place. “Okay, so, I know you’re not allowed out tomorrow for the Fourth of July-”

“Yeah no thanks to you,” Roman cut in, only slightly miffed.

He scowled the interruption and continued, “-Anyway…your parents know you’re not supposed to be out. Fortunately, mine do not,” he finished proudly.

“Am I supposed to be getting where you’re going with this?” he asked tiredly.

His friend rolled his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. “The fireworks start at 9:30pm. You can still hang with me at my house and we can watch them from the roof as planned. All you have to do is throw this out the window and climb down. Easy. Simple.”

Roman wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or scoff, so he settled for a mix of both.

“Y’know, if it were anyone else, I’d tell them I’m not scaling the side of my house to hang out with the person who put me on house arrest,” he finished.

Roman stood and grabbed the rope testing its strength.

“Ah, well, good thing I’m not anyone else,” he countered smugly.

Later that night, Roman’s parents would find his room empty. Too busy wondering how the heck he got out of the house, they missed the dangling rope keeping the window cracked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

The rest of the week continued with nothing more eventful than a pop quiz in art history. It was finally Friday night, and the small group of friends were hanging out in Logan’s basement as per Roman’s begging request. The guys had been informed of the bonfire earlier that week and apparently a good handful of people were going to be there, much to Logan’s distaste. All the sudden this weekend was looking to be pretty miserable. Logan didn’t realize he was scowling until someone was waving their hand in front of his face to get his attention. He looked up to see Patton with a confused look in his eye.

“Hey, you okay? You were…glaring,” he finished with an uncertain smile. Before he could respond, Remy opened his mouth from across the room.

“Astute observation Pat, but he’s been glaring at the corner of the room for the past 20 minutes now,” he said laughingly. Roman just looked on in amusement, at the flustered look on his friend’s face.

“I’m quite alright. I was just thinking about tomorrow and suffering through an entire evening with Remy.” He put his head in his hand and continued, “Maybe I’ll just stay home and tell everyone that I’m dying of a terminal illness,” he trailed off languidly. Logan inwardly grimaced at how utterly dramatic and Roman that statement was, though he quickly brightened up when Patton laughed.

Remy had finally had enough of this blatant disrespect. It was a party.

“God, you too? How many people do I have to bend over backwards to convince to quit being such a stick in the mud?” The frustration was clear on his face as his head flew back in exasperation. “It’ll be fun. Gurl, honestly, you can’t even talk. You always say shit like that and then you finally get there, and you end the night with: ‘That was actually pleasantly surprising,’ or ‘I suppose it was not as unbearable as I expected,’” he said imitating his voice with annoying accuracy.

Roman stayed quiet that night. He tuned out the good-natured bickering of Logan and Remy. The smile slipped off his face as his thoughts consumed him again. He glanced at Patton who was not so subtly staring at Logan, lovestruck expression in place. He sighed bitterly to himself. He was really happy for his pining friends, ecstatic even, but his lovesick heart could only take so much. Roman was suddenly shaken by his own thoughts.

“Oh god…lovesick?”

He was brought back to reality by Patton shouting over Logan and Remy.

“Guys, GUYS!” His dad voice captured the attention of his friends and they silenced immediately. “Enough fighting. You will settle your differences like civilized people.”

Roman looked up to see the Mario Kart loading screen and Patton holding four Wii remotes.

Logan and Remy just looked at each other sly grins in place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You better look out Princey, I’m catching up!”

“I don’t think so, you hot topic reject…” Roman threw back a red turtle shell and laughed victoriously when it hit head on.

They were on the last lap of the final race of the circuit and he was not about to give up yet. Roman was too cocky for his own good, and he looked to change that. His gaze hardened with determination, and a sadistic smirk grew on his face, as he gained another power up. A game changing power up. His smile quickly turned even more sinister as they sped closer towards the finish line.

“Hey, Princey.” Roman looked over at him briefly acknowledging his words.

“I’m sorry our friendship had to end this way.” Roman’s eyes flew wide with betrayal as he finally realized what was about to go down.

With no hint of guilt or remorse, the blue turtle shell was sent with a shout of victory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

Roman woke up the next day with not much else to do than wait around and start getting ready.

He was scrolling through the depths of YouTube when he got a text from Remy.

HEY if you don’t start getting ready you’ll never get there and then I’ll have to kill you and I don’t plan on going to jail for manslaughter

A few seconds later…

Yet

A laugh bubbled out of him before he could stop it.

How Remy seemed to sense these things was beyond him. He let out an overdramatic sigh and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Damn, it was 5:30pm already? After putting on fabulously subtle makeup, he decided to check the weather and of course it was going to be unreasonably cold. Why did life hate him so?! He ran his fingers through his hair pushing it out of his way and opened his closet.

His eyes locked onto the old, abandoned hoodie before his mind could catch up with him. His grip on the door loosened as his shoulders deflated ever so slightly. Suddenly struck with annoyance he scoffed and reached for the hoodie. He was so over being sad and melancholy all the damn time.

Besides, he was in an edgy mood as of late.

 Virgil’s P.O.V.

He stood in the middle of his room looking at all the packed boxes with his heart in his throat. It felt like the room was slowly suffocating him. He was going back soon, and if that didn’t fill him with enough terror and anxiety for the rest of this life and the next, he didn’t know what would. Worse than that? He was living on the same street. Right across the street. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Never go outside and hope for the best?

Luckily, his mom knocked on his door frame and cut off his downward spiral.

“Hey V? You doing okay? The moving truck should be here in about 10 minutes…” she cut in gently.

“Yeah I-, yeah.” His gaze never left the pile of boxes as he answered.

His mom sighed and sat on his bed, motioning for him to do the same.

“Honey, I know this move is sudden. I know you’ve already begun school, but I thought you’d be thrilled being able to go back! You were devastated when we left Pennsylvania, and it’s still something I haven’t forgiven myself for but-…” she was rambling.

“Mom.” He cut her off. Her jaw snapped shut at the harsh tone. Something she still hadn’t gotten used to over the years.

“In case you’ve forgotten,” he continued, “I didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms,” he finished, scowl in place.

It was the one thing he would never forgive his father for. No, no he can’t even blame his father.

‘You were the one who kept it from him, remember? Remember how heartbroken he looked? How could he ever have trusted you after that?’

He had to shake himself from his thoughts. His mind consistently antagonizes him with everything he should have done differently, and damn him, for messing everything up. He knew whose fault it was. It was only natural that he’d try to find someone else to pin the blame on.

He knew he had changed over the years. There’s only so much pretending you can do to convince people everything is fine before it wears you down. Eventually, he just stopped trying. His smiles dimmed until they weren’t there anymore, leaving an almost permanent scowl. His broad shoulders hunched in on themselves. Any and all optimism flew out the window, replaced by stone-cold cynicism.

High school wasn’t easy on him. Best years of your life, my ass. He looked back at most of high school with a bitter resentment and longing. Finishing senior year somewhere totally new just seemed to taint what good memories he retained. It was hard enough for a gay, edgy emo to make friends as it was, but when they moved, V didn’t even try. He didn’t want to try anymore. The bullying only cemented that decision. So he kept building his walls higher and higher. No one could be allowed to see past his walls ever again.

“V, honey, it’s been years since I’ve seen you smile. I know that things have been less than ideal. This whole move, transferring all your credits, starting at a new university is scary. It’s okay to be scared.” She looked over only to see her son glaring at the floor, but continued. “Penenbrook is a great school and I just know that you’ll make friends this time around. Your father’s relocation could be good for you. Besides, I know at least one person will probably still be waiting for you when we get back.” She turned gauge his reaction. He could only offer a sad, barely-there smile still aimed at the grey carpet. He could only hope at least.

When he didn’t reply, she got up and grabbed a box. “C’mon. Let’s get some of these downstairs.”

The family packed their belongings in a tense silence. His mom tried to initiate small talk but the two Manson men didn’t feel like talking. It’s a surprise to no one that V and his dad don’t have the best relationship either. Both of his parents have jobs involved with the government that prevent them from sharing certain information with their family. V had to learn to understand that sometimes not one but both of his parents had to go away on the weekend and he wasn’t allowed to know where or why. As he grew older, he couldn’t help the part of his mind that wanted to resent his parents. When they moved away from his childhood home it only worsened.

Once the van was packed up, he slid into the back seat and put on his headphones almost immediately. T-minus 13 hours and 45 minutes. He passed the houses and streets he’d come to know the past three and a half years. He didn’t expect to feel any sadness upon leaving, and he was correct in that assumption.  He couldn’t help the jolt of excitement he felt when the car passed by a sign that said, “Now Leaving Florida, Come Back Real Soon!”  

Maybe things were finally looking up for him.

………………………………………………………………

Things were decidedly not looking up for him.

He and his family were all sitting at the dinner table when his mom dropped the bomb on him. The chit chat immediately stopped when she noticed his expression. He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth.

“…What?” Silence reigned, so he tried again.

“What?”

His father had finally had enough with his apparent insolence and put down his utensils to stare his son in the eyes.

“Pennbrook is a fine school with top programs and teachers. I will not listen to your complaints simply because you are unable to live on campus,” he said with gruff finality.

In hindsight, he should have looked into it, but as of late, his mind has been…occupied by other things. Now, however, all he could think about is the lack of privacy he would now be subjected to living at home full time. On some days, he’d argue that it be worse than prison. He and his father were stuck in a glaring match until the boy finally gave up and sat back in his chair allowing an overdramatic sigh to fill the room.

Dinner continued, and he found himself staring out the window at the house across the street. The light was still on in his room.

…………………………………………………………………

Monday came sooner than he would have preferred.

He slammed his hand down on his alarm clock and looked over at the time. He blearily processed that it was 6:00am and that he needed to get up in order to ensure the least amount of embarrassment today. He pulled his blankets off and walked towards the door furiously trying to rub the remanence of sleep out of his eyes. A light switch would have been useful but that was all the way on the other side of the room, so he was flying blind. In his sleep induced stupor, he forgot that there were still boxes all over his room and that fate never planned on being kind to him. He barely took three steps before he stubbed his toe and fell forward.

“AH, fucking dammit!” He sat on the floor, his head between his knees, debating on whether he even wanted to stand up. Eventually, he decided he’d rather suffer in class than face his father’s wrath today.

He survived the rest of his morning routine without any other mishaps. He threw on his black skinny jeans, combat boots, and patched up hoodie. He didn’t even want to think about what he would have to endure today. He looked at himself and tried to look at the bright side. At least, there was going to be no picking on him. He learned early on that looking as scary and unapproachable as physically possible could really help you in the long run. He ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it, but a few stubborn bangs still hung in his vision. His eyes were cold, and he prided himself on his disaffected scowl. If he was lucky he could just sit in the back and blend in. He put light, barely there, black eyeshadow under his eyes just for kicks. He supposed this new school could use an edgy loner. He would gladly fill that position.

He ran his fingers through his hair and walked downstairs. After grabbing his keys, his wallet, his backpack, and an apple on the way out the door, he roughly sat down in his old, beat up Honda Civic and plugged in his phone. An oldies emo playlist should lift his spirits. A loud guitar blasted through the speakers, and he was off down the street sparing a single glance back in the mirror.

His classes didn’t start until 8:00am but he was still surprised he found good parking at 7:15am. He parked his car in the visitor’s spot and walked up to the main entrance. He couldn’t help the scoff at the saying etched into the archway of the building.

“Pennbrook, where excellence is habit? Oh, god.” He shook his head and sighed.

He walked in towards the main office with his backpack slug over one shoulder, already slightly amused at the atmosphere this school was attempting to put forth. As he walked down the hall, he saw posters and signs with various absurd sayings: “Pennbrook University, where forward thinking begins,” “Preparing for life is more than just test scores,” and his favorite, “Be who you are and be it well.” Yeah, okay.

He walked into the main office and was greeted by a too-perky receptionist.

“Hello! What can I do for you, son?” He wore a light brown sweater, a pink tie, and glasses. His desk was covered in various amounts of different cartoon paraphernalia, some he recognized and others he did not. His blinding smile crinkled by his eyes.

“Hi, I’m the new transfer student? I was told to come early today for my official schedule and ID card?” He kept ending his statements as questions, but the man didn’t seem to mind.

“Ah, yes, of course! Manson, Vi-”

“-uh, just V sir. Please.” He was quick to cut him off with a wince, lest anyone else hear.

The man peered up at him through his glasses with an amused glint in his eyes.

“Of course.” He walked back over to his desk to fish around for V’s papers and handed them over with a sugary sweet smile.

“Your first class begins at 7:50am. Here is your schedule as well as your student ID. The school layout is pretty simple. Three ‘L’ shaped buildings, two floors. First floor room numbers begin with one and second floor room numbers begin with two. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out. If for some reason you’re having any trouble, I’m sure one of our students or faculty members could help direct you,” he finished his rant looking to see if he caught all that.

“Thank you, Mr…” he trailed off inquiringly.

“…Picani,” he supplied.

“Mr. Picani. I really appreciate it,” he said with a slight smile. That smile immediately fell of his face as he turned to walk out into the hallway.

And with that, he was out in search of his first class. He had enough time to glance through his schedule and walk to all the classrooms he would be forced to suffer in for 50 minutes later that day. It was still only 7:40am, but he begrudgingly walked to his first lecture. The hallways were quite crowded at this point, but it didn’t matter. People parted like the red sea when he turned down the hallway. He was a few inches or so over six feet with dark eyes, an eyebrow piercing and a pointed glare in anyone and everyone’s general direction. His gait held a purpose as he walked swiftly and quietly into his homeroom. A quick scan of the room and he was walking toward the seat all the way in the back by the window. The room quieted ever so slightly as he made his way to his chosen seat. He dropped his bag to the floor and pulled his headset on determined to drown out the noise. Chatter slowly built back up as the clock approached 7:50am.

An older man in his mid to late 40’s walked in and called for silence. V took this time to actually look up and realize that someone had dared to occupy the seat next to him. The boy looked at him and smiled slightly before looking back at their professor.

“Good morning, delinquents,” he said as he set his things down. The class laughed as he prepared to take attendance.

V tensed in his seat because he knew what was undoubtably coming. He just had to appear unaffected and maybe it would pass over painlessly.

“…Jenson, Lombardo, Marzena, Mans,” The man started rattling off names, but stopped as though he wasn’t expecting one of them. No doubt his. God, didn’t they inform teachers of anything anymore?! The professor looked up scanning the room until his gaze landed on V.

“Manson?” he questioned.

V sat unmoving as all heads swiveled in his direction. Using every ounce of strength not to crumble as all eyes were on him, he only offered a two fingered solute as any indication his professor was correct.

“Ah, Mr. Manson, I was informed of your transfer. Might I inquire from which school?” He asked innocently, a tired smile in place.

V sighed but answered, “Sandalwood State in Florida. My family just moved back to PA.”

“Oh wonderful, I do hope you find Pennbrook to be a wonderful school to spend the remainder of your college years,” he said with gusto. He turned back to his attendance sheet, read off the rest of the names, and launched into the syllabus.

V was shocked to say the least. Maybe he could get by without his name being spoken aloud. A futile hope, but hey, he was doing good so far. Maybe this luck would stick with him. The kid next to him chose this moment to turn to him and try to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Patton,” he smiled amicably. He had a fairly tall build with brown hair and shinning blue eyes.

V just stared, shocked that anyone would even attempt conversation at this point. C’mon, his resting bitch face should’ve been enough!

“I’m V,” he supplied.

“Just V?”

“Just V.” He turned away trying to cut off anymore interaction.

V was hoping that this horrifying awkward tension would be enough to halt this conversation in its tracks, but then again, he was never that lucky. A kid wearing sunglasses chose this moment to turn around and introduce himself.

“Hey gurl. I’m Remy, the fun one, here for your viewing pleasure,” he spoke around the straw in his Starbucks iced macchiato bullshit. He had short brown hair swept back from his face. V couldn’t help the snort that came from his nose at the boy’s antics. He relaxed slightly in his chair.

“I’m V, the emo one, from your nightmares,” he deadpanned. That line had both Patton and Remy laughing.

Remy eyed the singular eyebrow piercing, eyeshadow and unruly hair.

“Honestly honey, I would’ve pegged you as a mellowing punk kid,” he pondered aloud. V just stared.

“A mellowing punk kid…” V tested the words on his own tongue. “Original. I haven’t heard that one yet,” he let a smirk ease its way onto his face.

The sudden shuffling startled him out of this impossible interaction. It seems the syllabus was all that was going to be covered today. V was at a loss. It was his first day, and he was supposed to be silently brooding in the corner. Patton reached for V’s schedule and scanned over it.

“Oh cool, you’ve got Philosophy with me at 2:30pm!” His eyes scanned over the rest of the sheet. “That means you can join us for lunch!” V tried to object but Patton looked back up and him with hopeful shinning eyes that were rather reminiscent of a small child, and V found his resolve weakening.

“I-…s-sure, whatever,” he mumbled.

With that, they grabbed their stuff as Remy dramatically gestured toward the door.

“Follow me, you tall, misunderstood shadowling!” V looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“You’ll soon learn that my brother will be the most dramatic and theatrical person you’ve ever met,” Patton supplied helpfully.

Remy just laughed without denying his claims, and the three of them marched on to find food.

Maybe not the most theatrical…but he was pretty darn close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was one of his cleverer ideas.

The two friends were lounging on V’s bed when inspiration struck. Roman jumped up jostling V, who had his head hanging over the side of the bed.

“Good sir, I think I have a particularly grand idea,” he declared with a regal stance.

“Thank God. I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored in my life,” V said unmoving.

“We shall construct a grand movie theatre and have an equally grand Disney movie marathon!” Roman shouted a bit loud for V’s taste, but he was intrigued nonetheless.

“How many times are you going to say ‘grand’ before you explain how exactly we will accomplish that?” He said with playful sarcasm.

“Dishonor me again peasant and I will see to it personally that you die a very painful, boring death.”

V fought to keep the smile off his face.

………………………………………………………….

“It’s a drive-in movie!” they chorused. V’s mom felt an amused smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

She had to admit, it was pretty well put together, considering they were only eight. The TV set had been pushed against the open bay window facing the deck with blankets draped around acting as curtains. The two friends had dug out their old, beat up wagons and piled them high with pillows, blankets and popcorn. They were her really expensive throw pillows, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to discipline them.

“Just make sure you kids put everything back where it’s supposed to be when the movie is over,” she said with a smile. The two just offered her cheeky grins and a promise that everything would be cleaned up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

Days turned into weeks, and weeks very quickly turned into a few months. Christmas and New Year’s had come and gone, and spring fever was in the air. V was honestly shocked at how fast time seemed to be going by. School was bearable. He had actually managed to make friends, but even then, he tried to keep his distance. They were constantly trying to get him to go out with them, but he was content with just observing from the side lines. He skipped out on all the hangouts. The only real friend he’d ever had was, it seemed, too far out of his reach. He didn’t need to depress himself further by going out to some party where everyone knew everybody else. That’s what he kept telling himself anyway. It was best not to think about it.

“Hey tall, dark, and emo. How are you this fine morning?”

Welp. The universe just shot that dream straight to hell.

Remy leaned against the door of V’s emptying lecture hall peering at him over his sunglasses with a suggestive smile, awaiting a response. V already knew where this conversation was headed, and honestly, he wasn’t sure how much more of this hounding he could take.

“I’m not going,” he said as he brushed past him avoiding eye contact. Remy hurried after him nonetheless. They both had lunch with Patton, so he wasn’t about to escape that easily.

“Oh, come on, dead girl walking, just come out with us this weekend. You need to get out and experience the people outside this mental asylum,” Remy complained. V smirked a little at his comment before carefully schooling his expression back to careless and uninterested. Despite his efforts, Remy saw it and decided to jump on it while he had the chance.

“Look, it’s a simple gathering with some food, some people, and a bonfire. There isn’t much that could go wrong, so you can give your anxious mind a break.” Remy was aiming for casual conversation, but he couldn’t conceal the whining annoyance in his tone. After being turned down too many times in the past week, there wasn’t much patience he had left to offer.

“My anxious mind is fine. And anyway, I couldn’t go out this weekend even if I wanted to. Both of my parents are away, and I need to watch the house,” V knew it was a weak excuse, but he’d had a long morning and lunch was calling his name. Remy scoffed.

“Where are your parents going that they needed to entrust you to ‘watch the house’? I don’t think your house would spontaneously combust if you left for a few hours.” Remy tried to keep the amusement out of his voice but failed miserably.

“My dad is involved with the government and sometimes his job requires my parents to go away for a few days. I’ve never known what for. He’s never legally been allowed to tell me. All I do know is that they’re both in Washington D.C., or so I’ve been told.” V spoke as if it didn’t really matter, but Remy could sense the underlying irritation.

Remy’s eyebrow quirked up at that. He and Pat had known him ever since a little ways through the first semester and he was quickly adopted by Patton, forming their little group of friends, but the ever-elusive boy was never really forthcoming with any information regarding his past or parents. The more he thought about it, he didn’t really know much about his dark, strange friend. Hell, they didn’t even know his name. Remy sought to change that. He continuously refuses to hang out with anyone outside of school and Remy just can’t fathom why. Who doesn’t want to have fun? Any outing with the fabulous Remy Marzena is surely not an outing to be missed.

“Damn that sounds frustrating. What did you do when you were little, and they had to go away?”

It was an innocent question. V knew that he didn’t mean anything by it.

That didn’t stop the pain in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 2:13am.

“I just don’t understand. I’m their son, right? I feel like I’m supposed to know. I must be obligated to know, right?” V asked anger coursing through his veins.

Roman just sat on his bed and listened to him vent. V was staying with his family for what seemed like the tenth weekend in a row. He could see this eating away at him. V always claimed that he was fine. That it didn’t really bother him. That there was nothing to worry about. He was just about done dealing with his fake smile until V’s careful control all but snapped about ten minutes ago.

“I mean, I know it was last minute, and they said they didn’t want to, but this happens all the time. We were all supposed to hang out this weekend, and last weekend, and the week before. It’s like they plan these things just so they don’t have to spend time with me,” he finished bitterly. His anger was quickly diminishing, a defeated expression overtaking his features. He stopped pacing to stare at the carpet.

He looked at V with sad eyes but didn’t interrupt. There were tears at the corners of his eyes when he finally let out a choked sob.

“Am I really so bad that they’ll take any and every chance to get away from me?” V turned to him, looking for something, anything that could prove him wrong.

Roman quickly stood up, crossed the room and pulled him into a tight embrace. V clung to him like he would disappear if he let go and cried on his shoulder until there were no more tears left. He pulled away, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but Roman cut him off before he could even begin.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare apologize,” he cut in hotly. He saw his friend’s thick tears, broken expression, and smudged eyeshadow and something inside him snapped.

V’s eyes widened, and his jaw snapped shut. He looked taken aback at his forcefulness. A few stubborn tears still rolled down his cheeks. He tugged him over to sit on the bed and forced V to look him in the eyes.

“It burns me up inside to see you apologizing for your emotions so don’t do it again.” V took a minute to absorb his words and nodded mutely, his eyes never straying from the determined, hazel pair staring back.

“I saw how upset your mom was when they left. Her strained smile may have fooled you, but it didn’t fool me,” his eyes softened as he decided to give up on the tough guy act and sit down beside him. He hesitated before taking V’s hand in his own. A blush took over his face but he continued. “I know this is hard for you. I know you wish that they were around more often. I don’t want this making you think that you aren’t worth anything to anyone. Your feelings matter. You matter. You have so many people that care about you. Hell, my parents have practically adopted you and I’m convinced that they like you more than me,” he huffed out a laugh trying to lighten the mood.

He saw the ghost of a smile on V’s face. He let the silence hang over them for a few minutes before continuing, “They do love you, y’know. They might not be so good at showing it, but they love you, so much,” he said desperately. V’s gaze remained resolutely on the floor. He resolutely ignored the part of his mind that thought Roman meant it wasn’t only his parents that loved him so much. His small smile fell into a thin line.

“How do you know?” he mumbled, voice was still strained. His friend perked up dramatically with his signature mega-watt smile.

“Because, I’m your best friend. I know everything,” he said proudly with his hand on his chest. He batted his eyelashes at V until he couldn’t resist a small laugh.

V turned to him and his eyes softened as he tried to think of how he could possibly put into words how much that meant to him. How much he meant to him. So, naturally, he did what any other emotionally insecure 17-year-old boy would have done at a time like this. V’s eyes turned mischievous and Roman looked at him confused by his sudden mood swing. Before he could blink, V snaked his arm around his waist and swung him around onto his back. His friend let out an undignified squeal as V quickly pinned him under his weight. He squirmed to get out of V’s hold, and had this been a few years ago he would have succeeded, but with V’s recent growth spurt his struggle was fruitless. V quickly pinned his hands above his head in victory. Their hysterical laughter dissipated the remaining atmosphere in the room.

However, as their laughter died down, both of them seemed to realize just how close they were. Both boys were panting heavily, sporting a pink blush. Roman was short-circuiting. Holy fucking shit he’s on top of me, he’s on TOP OF ME, HE’S-. V wasn’t doing too well himself, suddenly realizing the compromising position he threw himself into. Neither one dared move.

In the middle of V’s spiraling thoughts about forcing yourself on you best fucking friend for god’s sakes, what are you doing!? What were you thinking?!, Roman’s eyes shifted to V’s lips and back to his piercing stare.

That stopped his train of thought in its tracks, and his breath hitched audibly. V didn’t know what the heck he was doing, but he felt himself slowly leaning in anyway. Their lips were only a hairs breath apart-

A loud car horn snapped them both out of their fervor and V sat up with barely concealed panic. Roman sat up as well and the two of them were decidedly looking everywhere except each other.

Eventually, Roman cleared his throat and V’s gaze snapped back to him.

“Perhaps we should get some rest, yeah?”

V looked at him and nodded in agreement, and they both shared a small smile, silently agreeing to forget about whatever just almost happened. They rolled onto their backs, pulled up the covers, and stared at the ceiling. When V heard the steadying of Roman’s breath, he turned on his side and mumbled out a quiet, sincere “thank you,” into the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

“I stayed at a friend’s house,” he said looking away. He was currently thanking whoever was looking out for him up there for his choice of an extra layer of foundation today.

Remy nodded his head and didn’t pry any further accepting his short explanation. They both fell into a comfortable silence as they paid for their food and made their way to a table in the back of the cafeteria. Pat was already there. Remy decided to leave a standing offer if he decided to change his mind.

“Well, if you feel like living dangerously tomorrow, you text me and I’ll pick you up on my way to the party. I can’t stay too long so that means you won’t have to stay too long if you’re really that hesitant.” Remy looked at him awaiting a response. V just sighed and looked over to him tiredly.

“If I consider it, will you let me suffer through the rest of my day in peace?” he huffed. Remy’s whole face practically lit up and Patton let out a tiny squeal in delight.

“I’ll take that as a definite maybe!” he cheered.

V just groaned and glared in the other direction.

 Both P.O.V.

He was not one for social outings. The bonfire started at 7 o’clock and he was no closer to a decision. He’d already received a text from Remy earlier that day asking if he was “ready to live a little.” He stared at his phone debating on whether he really wanted to face people tonight. Somewhere deep down he really did want to go, but his mind was constantly rattling off hinderances: “You’re just going to be sitting alone the whole time. They probably won’t even like you. Remy only offered to be nice.”

He was getting really sick of that voice. He stared down at his phone, the text bar blinking back at him. In a moment of pure impulsiveness, that he would probably regret later, he finally sent a message back:

Fine. But if this all goes to shit, I will never go outside again and you will be forced to live with that on your conscience forever.

He got an instant enthusiastic response:

YES. FINALLY. Fucking took you long enough lol

I’ll come by your house at 6:45pm…shouldn’t take us too long to get there but I will need an address from you 😉

V will never understand this boy’s constant positivity. Patton must be rubbing off on him. He sent his address nonetheless. He trudged up to his room trying to decide if his usual style would scare everyone. If he was being honest his style had really mellowed out over the years. People would laugh if they could see his 14-year-old self now. He shook himself of the thought and settled for ripped black skinny jeans, a distressed purple long sleeve, a black beanie, and his old black combat boots.

Time ticked by quicker than he would have liked. Soon enough he received a text from Remy saying he was waiting outside with Pat. He looked in the mirror and gave himself a mental pep-talk before heading out the door. His hand hesitated at the handle as he gazed through the window. He looked longingly across the street and saw all the downstairs lights on. He prayed no one could see him as he walked out and quickly made his way to the car waiting for him. Pat was driving it looked like and Remy was in the front passenger seat. He made his way into the back seat only to look up and find two pairs of eyes scrutinizing him.

“Uh, can I help you?” he said defensively. Both boys just laughed causing his scowl to grow.

“Relax, we just thought with all the glaring and brooding you do at school your outfit would be a little more emo than this,” Remy replied breezily.

“Weren’t you the one who dubbed me the mellowing punk?” V replied smirking. Remy just laughed and typed in the directions to his friend, Jake’s house.

“Hey kiddo! I love your eye makeup!” Patton looked awed and V was just shocked he’d received a compliment at all. He looked at Pat and smiled shyly.

“Thanks Pat.”

The car fell into an easy silence as they drove. Internally, V was freaking out a bit. He had agreed to go to this thing, but he had absolutely no idea what was in store for him. As if reading his thoughts, Patton piped up from the driver’s seat seemingly sensing his panic.

“We’re almost there, he lives in the next town over so it’s not too far,” he began. V took his chance to grill them for information.

“So…who’s going to be at this party exactly,” he said hesitantly.

“It going to be us and a few of the other guys and gals.” He looked both ways and turned left at the intersection.

“And who are these ‘other guys and girls’ exactly? Where do they go to school?” he asked. He stared at his phone trying to appear less anxious.

“Oh, they all go to Springfield University,” he replied easily. V’s head snapped up.

“Springfield University?” he parroted back, eyes wide.

He must have heard him wrong.

Patton glanced at him in the rear-view mirror in confusion.

“Yeah. Why, do you know someone?” Pat asked out of curiosity.

V took a minute to calm himself down and rationalize that Roman probably didn’t go there. V remembered that Ro had thought about it, but before they finished high school, he was still on the fence about Springfield and the local charter school. Besides…how could he know Remy or Patton anyway…The chances were infinitesimal at best.

“Yeah,” he replied without thinking. “Well, no, I mean I used to know someone who might go there, but I doubt he’d be wherever we’re going tonight.” Remy wasn’t sure if V was trying to reassure them or himself. Remy looked at Patton, then back at V before posing his own question.

“Oh. How’d you know him?”

V took a minute to respond. In that time, a small bitter sweet smile spread on his face.

“We were best friends,” he began. The other two boys thought that was all they were going to get out of him, but he continued after a small huff of laughter, “He lived down the street and we did practically everything together. Ever since we were little we were a neighborhood menace.” He laughed outright at that as he remembered a particular moment with Mrs. Berkley chewing them out for drawing on the side of her house with sidewalk chalk.

The other boys were stunned into silence. They had never seen V so easygoing and animated. He seemed almost wistful. But then his smile became crestfallen. “But-..uh…I haven’t really seen him since senior year of high school when I moved.” His head was in his hand as he looked out the window.

Remy was watching him carefully. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say V looked a little lovesick. Eventually, Patton spoke up and that was enough for V to catch himself and revert back to his usual closed off expression.

“Well, what’s his name?”

V just stared at the back of the driver’s seat. It was a simple question, so why was it so hard to just say it. This wasn’t Harry Potter and he wasn’t Voldemort. For so long, he never spoke his name simply because the memories were too much. Even his family had picked up on it. His mom was always so careful about it, like she was constantly walking on egg shells. Those mannerisms were eventually present in nearly every interaction, but V didn’t like to dwell on it much. He seemed to finally snap out of whatever daze he was in before he realized he hadn’t answered yet.

“Roman. Roman Prince,” he finally choked out.

Oh.

Oh.

Patton and Remy both shared a look of disbelief before they carefully schooled their expressions.

“Well hey, maybe one of these guys will know him,” Pat encouraged. V offered a noncommittal shrug before turning his gaze back down to his phone.

“Yeah. Maybe,” V mumbled.

……………………………………………………………………..

When they pulled up to the house V tried to quell his initial panic upon seeing the ridiculous amount of people. This had to qualify as some sort of public disturbance, right? The sound of Patton and Remy opening their respective car doors shook him from his anxious thoughts. He silently followed them towards the house. Once they got to the end of the driveway, a smiling blonde came walking towards them.

“Hi guys! Glad you could make it. Who’s your friend?” he asked with a welcoming hug and smile.

“Hey kiddo! This is V. He just moved here a few months ago,” Pat answered for him.

“Hi Jake, thanks for having me,” V replied nervously. After some relatively painless small talk, and an explanation as to where everything is, he left the three to their own devices.

There was a huge bonfire out back stocked with anything and everything to make s’mores, along with patio furniture and extra chairs set up on the driveway surrounding a smaller fire pit to accommodate the ridiculous throng of teenagers. Roman and Logan had just roasted some marshmallows, with only a few marshmallow fires to report, and were now sitting on the driveway chatting aimlessly. Roman snuggled deeper into his hoodie as a particularly cold breeze made him shiver.

Patton and Remy quickly surveyed those they could see and lit up when they spotted Roman and Logan. Remy finally spoke up and began to introduce everyone he knew from afar.

“Okay, so you’ve met Jake. Over on the couch is Julia, Maddie, Brandon, Matt, and Anna,” Remy rattled off. He smirked at Pat motioning for him to continue.

“And, over on the other side is Lia, Peyton, Roman, and Logan,” Patton finished. V was nodding his head along before what Pat said had finally caught up with him.

His entire body froze and his breath hitched audibly.

No. No.

His eyes were impossibly wide, and his mouth was opening and closing at a loss for words. He jumped behind Patton and curled his hands into fists, quietly cursing the air blue.

“Are you guys fucking kidding me right now?! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me he was going to be here!? I can’t fucking talk to him, you don’t get it!” He whisper-shouted.

Remy brushed off his panic. V could faintly hear Patton trying to calm him down, but his gaze was focused on the glowing man by the fire. He looked so different, yet the same. His heart leapt into his throat as he heard him laugh particularly loudly at whatever his friend had said. He hadn’t heard that sound in years. His brown hair was perfectly styled he noticed, the fire giving his hazel eyes a urethral quality. He noted the crinkle by his eyes, the gentle curve of his nose, the cupid’s bow of his lips. His blissful moment was broken when he heard Remy call him over here.

“Hey Ro, get over here!” Remy yelled with a laugh. V watched helplessly from behind Pat’s shoulder as he and his friend walked around the firepit in his direction. He couldn’t stop shaking and his eyes were blown impossibly wide. His voice was nowhere to be found and his feet seemed glued to the ground. His protests died on his lips as Roman came over and hugged Remy.

“Took you long enough. You’re the one who forced me to come to this thing and you show up late?” Logan asked playfully.

“Well, we had to make an extra pit stop,” Remy said while he hugged Roman as well. It was then that Roman noticed the dark figure behind Patton. V turned away from him hiding behind his hair as Roman tried to meet his eyes.

“Who’s your friend?” he asked but received no answer. “C’mon I don’t bite…much,” he tried to joke.

V knew he had to face the music. There was no way out of this, God there was no way out of this. He let out a shaky exhale and stepped out from behind Patton. He painfully tore his gaze from the ground and looked at him through his bangs.

“…Hey there Princey,” he tried to smile.

…………………………………………………………………………..

The world stopped.

His confident stance faltered as his phone clattered to the ground. His heart stopped. Tears gathered in his eyes without his permission. His mind was running a mile a minute. Roman wasn’t sure if he was sad, angry, happy…he had been numb for so long, and he only seemed to realize that in this moment. Only one person had ever called him that, and he left years ago, along with whatever genuine happiness he had. He took in two sharp breaths before he attempted to speak.

“…V?” he whispered.

A few tears were flowing freely now. A sob threatening to come out of his throat. Roman looked on to see panic on his face as he began rambling.

“No, no, no, no, no don’t cry!” Patton and Remy watched as V’s carefully constructed walls tumbled down. Gone were his cold eyes and standoffish stance and attitude. His eyes were scared and panicked, as he held his hands up to try to placate the man in front of him. “Please, I knew I shouldn’t have come I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were gonna be here and-” but he was cut off by Roman’s hysterics. His hand was over his mouth trying to calm down before he was all over him.

“Oh, just shut up and get over here,” Ro laughed through tears as he jumped him.

V staggered forward as Roman pulled him into his arms and burried his head into his neck. V hesitantly wrapped his arms around his back and rested his nose on his shoulder, a tear rolled silently down his cheek.

“Where have you been, you emo nightmare?” He laughed, but didn’t move from his current position.

V couldn’t have smiled wider as a loud laugh tore out of his throat. The first genuine laugh he’d allowed himself in a while. They only held one another tighter.

“I was in…it was Florida,” he mumbled quietly.

Roman pulled back to look him in the eyes, a ghost of a smile graced his face. He looked at him like he wasn’t real. His thumb brushed a stray tear from V’s cheek as he studied his face. Gone was the 2007 emo haircut and makeup. His hair was cut and styled a little shorter, hiding under his beanie. A few pieces hung in front of those brown, dough eyes he missed so dearly. His features grew sharper, and he most definitely grew taller. Only an inch or two shorter than Roman himself. V blushed under his scrutiny.

“Look at this hair,” Roman laughed as he ran his hand through it, effectively removing the beanie and mussing it up.

“I like it.” V tried not to melt at the affectionate touch. Roman looked over all his features, and after a beat of silence, Roman spoke up again, “You grew up.”

“Hey, so did you,” V said with a wide smile. “You’re taller than me now, damnit. And look, you finally got a haircut that fits your face,” he finished with a laugh.

“You know me, I couldn’t endure another-”

“-sixth grade bowl-cut disaster,” they finished together laughing.

Their giggles died down and looked at each other, faces turning serious.

“Roman…” V wanted to explain. He wanted to explain what he couldn’t all those years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silence.

That’s all there was between them.

A heavy choked silence.

“…you’re moving…?” The way Roman’s voice cracked may as well have broken Virgil.

He wasn’t meant to see the text from his mom about the moving truck. V almost dropped the glass of water he was holding when Roman asked about it. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Virgil just needed a little more time.

Virgil tried to speak. He tried to find the right thing to say, to explain himself, but the words wouldn’t come.

“How long have you known about this?” Shock punctuated each word, and again V floundered for what to say.

“I-..it-…a few months.”

A choked scoff was all Virgil got in response.

“Where?” Roman tried to appear indifferent, but his eyes gave him away.

Tears started to gather in V’s eyes. That was the one question he couldn’t answer. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, and that pained him more than anything.

“I-…Roman, I can’t tell you.” V looked at his friend desperate for understanding, but he was met with barely concealed outrage. Roman knew why Virgil couldn’t tell him but that didn’t stop the anger permeating through his entire being. If it weren’t for his  fucking parents. But that didn’t matter in Roman’s head right now. He was just beyond hurt…betrayed that Virgil would keep this from him for so long.

Then suddenly Roman realized something. Virgil was crying. Something he would never normally do, even in front of his best friend. Roman was mad that he was just finding out about this, sure, but Virgil wouldn’t be so panicked if it weren’t a big deal.

“Is it close? Will we still be in school together?” Roman tried to sound hopeful, but he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“It’s-…no Ro…it’s out of state.” The dam finally broke and silent tears began to fall.

Roman let out a humorless laugh, and his face turned cold. He felt like he’d just been kicked in the stomach, and Virgil wasn’t much better.

“When.” Roman was desperate for answers. His whole world, it seemed, was being taken away from him. The one person that he cared about the most, the one person who understood him the most, the person he loved the most was about to move away.

Tears were flowing freely down V’s face. He opened his mouth to speak but after a few failed attempts at getting the words out. He took a deep, shaky breath and spoke up in a quiet voice.

“Five days.”

Roman’s eyes flew wide.

“Days?! You’re moving away in five days and you didn’t think to tell me months ago? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? When were you even going to tell me?!”

Angry. He was angry.

Virgil’s tears continued to fall. His hands we balled into tight fists at his sides and his breathing was labored as he stared resolutely at the floor.

“I-I tried to-, I didn’t mean-…” He couldn’t even form a sentence. He was overwhelmed, on the verge of an attack, but he was trying to keep himself together. He had to explain.

“It’s the middle of the school year! We’re supposed to be graduating high school in four months together. We’re supposed to be getting ready for college together. Getting ready for the rest of their lives together. I thought that you and I-…I thought…” Roman’s voice broke and he shook his head.

“V I’m your best friend! At least I thought I was. What possessed you to tell me five days before you had to leave that I’m probably never going to see you again, because I don’t even know where the hell you’re going!?” Roman was borderline hysterical, but his anger was overriding his sadness. Virgil continued to look at the floor, tears blurring his vision.

A beat of silence passed and suddenly everything that had been going on recently made more sense. Why they hadn’t been able to hang out at his house, why V’s mom always gave Virgil looks when Roman talked about what they were planning to do this summer. All of it.

Roman finally broke the silence.

“I have to go.”

Virgil’s head snapped up at his words, but his feet wouldn’t move to stop him.

He wanted to tell him everything.

He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how he had tried to tell him before but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so because it hurt so damned much. He wanted to tell him how much he wishes to spend as much time together as they can before he has to say goodbye. He wanted to tell him how much he was going to miss him. His laugh, his nicknames, his dramatics, his limitless kindness and wit, his unbelievable ability to calm and reassure him in his darkest moments. His ability to understand. He just wanted to tell him how much he loved him.

It was a lonely five days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

“I’m sorry.”

Virgil’s mouth snapped shut, confused.

“Roman, what in God’s name are you-”

“ -you didn’t deserve my temper tantrum.” He paused taking in V’s face of confusion. “I shouldn’t have shut you out. I should have stayed. I should have talked it out with you. There’s so much I should have done differently. Instead, I let you go without a goodbye,” he trailed off quietly. A rueful smile could be seen on his face.

“Ro, if I had just told you sooner. None of that would’ve happened.” V turned his face away trying to stop the second barrage of tears threatening to fall.

Roman grabbed his chin with one hand and forced Virgil to look at him. Shock replaced his sadness and a bright blush spread across his cheeks.

“V, I don’t blame you for anything, no matter how much you think this is your fault. I’m just-…I’m so glad to have you back,” he finished with a huff of laughter. There were still tears in his eyes and the laugh was strained, but it was something Virgil didn’t know he needed to hear all this time.

Roman’s eyes slid down to his lips before coming back up to meet his eyes. V briefly wondered if he’d imagined that.

“…Virgil?”

He was asking permission and Virgil sure as hell wasn’t going to lose this chance while he had it. He leaned forward, his lips lightly brushing Roman’s, hesitating only a moment longer before Roman captured his lips in a gentle kiss. Roman put his hands on the sides of V’s face while Virgil’s hands tangled themselves in Roman’s hair. The kiss slowly became more passionate as Virgil pulled him even closer. The butterflies in Virgil’s stomach had him dizzy, but he was about to complain. Roman smiled through the kiss absolutely elated. He caressed Virgil’s cheeks like he was something beautiful, trying to make up for the years they lost.

They were breathing heavily when air forced them away from one another. They didn’t break eye contact. They stood shell shocked at what had just happened, both on cloud nine. Then Virgil started laughing.

“You don’t know how long I’ve thought about that,” he eventually got out.

Roman’s smile could have lit up an entire city block.

They hugged each other again, both sporting ridiculous grins before something caught V’s eye. He moved away slightly and ran his hand over the hoodie Roman was wearing.

“Wait, is this…is this my MCR hoodie?” he said with mock outrage.

Roman had the decency to allow a blush to appear on his cheeks as he decided to feign innocence.

“What, this? I haven’t the faintest idea as to what you’re talking about…” Virgil raised an eyebrow in amusement. His smug smile hid the part of him that absolutely melted because it’s been years since they’ve seen each other, and yet Roman is wearing his sweatshirt. He waited about 30 more seconds before Roman gave up the charade, Virgil’s grin never faltering.

“Hey, you’re the one who left it in my room. Finders keepers, my chemically imbalanced romance.” He shot him a sly look and stuck out his tongue for good measure.

V just stared at him. He was smiling so wide he could barely talk.

“God, I missed you.” He spoke with such conviction that Roman could feel the warmth spreading through him at his words.

Roman tugged him forward and they remained in a silent hug. That’s when Remy took his chance.

“Not that this isn’t incredibly adorable or anything,” he waited to continue as the two finally realized that they had an audience.

Virgil quickly stepped away to ease the blush on his face, but Roman yanked him back with a firm pull, tucking him securely against his side with an easy smile. This only caused his blush to worsen.

“I have a clarifying question,” Remy continued.

Virgil looked on in confusion at his inquiry.

“Roman, what did you say his name was?”

And just like that Virgil went from super relaxed to super panicked. Roman looked over at him in confusion before he quickly cut in.

“No, no, no. Don’t. Do not.” He tried to sound menacing, but the fear showed on his face. He was in no place to give orders.

He looked at Virg and then turned back to Remy as realization dawned on his face.

“You mean to tell me you don’t know his actual name?” he said with barely contained amusement.

“He’s a dark, brooding emo! How could you expect us to know such private information?” Remy was going for sarcasm, but there was a hint of underlying exasperation. Roman let out a loud laugh at that.

“Oh please, Virgil is the softest emo I’ve ever encountered in my life, and he’s only gotten softer,” he finished pulling him closer, pecking his cheek. V…no, Virgil groaned while trying to bury his face in his hands.

Remy let out a soft snort. “Vir-gil?” He tested the name on his tongue. Virgil looked at Roman, a pout in place.

“Oh my GOODNESS, I love it,” Patt said cutting in with an adoring squeal. 

Virgil was not amused.

He threw some choice words at his prince charming and just like that the two reunited friends began to bicker back and forth, settling back into their dynamic seamlessly.

“Okay, you sir, are coming with me,” Roman declared.

“Where exactly are you taking me? Looks like some Blair Witch Project woods back there,” V trailed off jokingly. Roman just looked at him with a fond, amused smile.

“There are marshmallows down there with your name on them.” V abruptly stopped walking and stared up into his eyes, looking more serious than he ever has in his life.

“Take me to them.”

Roman laughed and tugged him along. The three people who witnessed this entire exchange decided to hang back to give them some well-deserved catch up time. Just as Logan was about to ask Remy and Patton what the hell was going on, a very loud and very undignified yelp was heard from across the driveway.

“D-did you just taze me?” Virgil sounded shocked and every bit as embarrassed as one could imagine. Roman just stood there with a smug smile. V looked back and saw Remy and Pat looking back at him with barely contained amusement, before turning to Roman with determination.

“You do realize of course now I’m going to have to kill you,” he said matter-of-factly.

Roman ran towards the bonfire with a shout of, “You’ll have to catch me first, Gerrard Way!”

“You are NOT getting away from me this time!” He laughed as Virgil ran after him.

………………………………………………………………………

Later that week one would find the two at the top of a hill, sitting in their rusty old wagons. They looked positively ridiculous with their long legs hanging over the sides, but they couldn’t find it in their hearts to care.

“Okay, we’ve got a straight shot. Whoever gets down there first wins and gets to pick the movie for tonight.”

Virgil looked back at Roman, smirk in place.

“Bold of you to assume there’s a chance you’ll beat me, Brendon Urie.”

The two best friends sat in their wagons preparing to take off down the steep hill, both men confident as ever. After the shouted count, “3…2…1…,” off they went, laughter echoing in the crisp spring air.

  And there she is! I just now realized that idk if “taze” is a universal word for poking at someone’s side to tickle them or if that’s something only my friends and I say…but it’s all I got. Also I made them all from Pennsylvania? Yeah. It’s fine, Florida is mentioned in there. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my first attempt at writing these cuties! Perhaps I’ll continue to do so in the future.

Thanks, you muffins!

~Laur

[comedicreliefonlyworkswhenfunny]

Villain!Deku au; chapter eleven: Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

First

Previous

Waking up shivering, Midoriya decided that he needed a new blanket. He rounded up just enough cash to get what he needed, with some to spare of course, but not too much to where it was suspicious. He got dressed in his normal tacky shirt and pants attire, but with a hat for good measure. “Kurogiri, I’m going out,” he called as he tred through the bar. The nod was subtle and hard to see, Kurogiri was basically physical, colorful fire, but Kurogiri clearly nodded back to show his understanding. Midoriya slipped through the alleyways and to the main street. The hat atop his head kept anyone important from recognizing him, and thankfully he didn’t a background I.D. to get a train pass. He was going to buy groceries and a new blanket, but, to do that, he needed to go to a shopping district. A few stops in, he saw an ugly face. It was a member of one of the less loved gangs. He was known for being a pervert and a rapist. He would lure younger kids, usually teens to early twenties, by harassing them in the bus and following them when they get off. Midoriya gagged when he saw the thing practically on top of two high school boys.

Kirishima and Kiminari were going into town to meet up with their friends for lunch. It was a celebration to Bakugou, Todoroki, and Tokoyami for winning the Sports Festival, and for the fact that no one was hospitalized. The two boys wanted to do a bit of exploring before they met up with everyone for food, so they left early. Unfortunately, it would have been much safer to head with the group. The man towered behind them, hands way to close to things that mattered. Both boys were uncomfortable, but there was too many people on the train to make a scene. They tried ignoring it, but he was getting more bold by the minute. Kiminari suggested using their quirks to make him back up, but Kirishima shot it down. Even if it was a pervert, quirk usage was prohibited in public areas. They whispered solutions, desperately trying to pretend that the large, uncomfortable hands weren’t there. It seemed like a miracle when they left. The boys turned back to see a kid, who was around their age, pinning the brute to the floor.

Midoriya didn’t hesitate to yank that bitch down where he stood. He crouched down to the body, one knee on the floor the other on the man’s chest. The look of fear in his eyes was more satisfaction than Midoriya could explain. He hissed just loud enough so that the thug beneath him would hear, but not so much so that it gave away either of their positions. “Get your disgusting self off of this train before I do something about you. This is not your territory. This is my domain and I will not have your slimy trail leading to my area, so here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get off of this train at the next stop, or I will fill you up with my liquid,” Deku flashed the thin needle of a syringe. The horror on the man’s face said it all. Midoriya stood up, allowing the other to escape. He stayed just within sight, making sure that Deku would see him get off at the next stop. The train pulled up and he bolted.

Kirishima and Kiminari were astounded. Whoever this kid was, he was someone to be feared. While they were shocked that this scrawny, dead eyed kid who was no older than them was terrifying enough to make a grown man, twice their size scared, the two swallowed their fear and went up to thank him. He did save them from embarrassment and possible rape. “Yo, bro! That was super cool and manly! How’d you do that?” Kirishima was the first to start up the conversation. He placed his hand on Midoriya’s shoulder in a friendly way as the doors closed and the train began takeoff again. Kiminari followed up with a cheerful smile and a, “Thanks a lot, that was awesome!” Midoriya froze like a deer in the headlights. He had learned from his past how to fulfill the role of a tormenter, and playing badass was a skill that he had picked up at the bar, but a normal conversation? He had no idea what to do. He gave a sheepish laugh before giving them a response, “It was actually pretty easy, since his center of gravity was off. He was leaning forward, but, since you guys were standing there, I couldn’t push him over. However, it’s just as easy to pull him backwards, once he puts his weight on his back foot, I kicked it from under him. Other than that, all you have to do is be vaguely threatening. They don’t know what you’re capable of. Exploit that,” the art of fight, a language he spoke quite fluently. In his experience, if you can’t carry on a normal conversation, don’t. Both boys were in awe at this kid.

The three sat down on the chairs that opened up after people got off of the train. Kirishima and Kiminari did most of he talking; Midoriya mostly sat between them and added input wherever he was able. The train ride was a decently long one, unlike Midoriya’s conversation, but it wasn’t too far into the ride that he drifted off to sleep. The train tracks sounded like static and that made student’s conversation seem like it was just a television show; it felt like he was watching a movie at midnight was his mom, just like he used to. His head fell to Kirishima’s shoulder as the world faded from existence.

Kirishima almost jumped when he felt hair brush his cheek and a head fell on his shoulder. “Dude,” he called to Kiminari, ignoring any previous commentary, “Dude, he fell asleep.” Kiminari leaned in, confirming what he saw. The green haired kid was dead out. A low voltage shock spanned the short distance as Kiminari poked the boy in his freckled face. “Where do you get off?” it was a very important question, one that thankfully was answered. A sleepy voice answered with the singular word, ‘shopping,’ but it was enough for the boys to know that all three of them were heading to the same place. Kirishima tried activating his quirk and hardening his shoulder, but Midoriya was even more of a rock than the pebbles in the cobblestone path beside the vehicle. Kirishima and Kiminari quite enjoyed the train ride; they bothered the sleeping boy to their hearts content. Kiminari took a picture of the other two before taking a picture with all three of them in it. They both shook the boy awake as they heard their stop being announced as next on the intercom. The boy reluctantly woke just at the right time. The doors opened and boys waved goodbye; Midoriya, who had a set destination, and the two UA students, who were trying to find cool shops near some good food, parted ways as the train left without them.

Midoriya felt a bit stupid for falling asleep so easily, and so heavily for that matter, but what was done was done. He wandered off to find the things on his mental list as time became lost to the oblivion. Afternoon faded to evening as he finished up his shopping. Looking back at the train, he saw a familiar face. Green eyes met red as Katsuki Bakugou blocked out Kirishima and Kiminari’s story. He kept out of his seat and began running towards the figure that saw. “Dude!” Kirishima called aimlessly, but Bakugou was already off the train. The two boys sat back down with everyone that was left and told everyone that he forgot something and would catch the next train. Probably. With heavy emphasis on the probably.

Turning a corner, Bakugou saw him. “Deku?” a breathless pant, almost a question as it left his mouth. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Months of being missing, only to find him in broad daylight. Part of him thought that he was wrong, the Deku he knew was lost, but he wasn’t quite wrong… Until he caught the boy, cornered in an alleyway. Green hair poking out of the expanses of a dull, gray hat; freckles went off like a bomb, spreading across his face; the same tacky clothing style that he wore: this was the ‘Deku’ he knew. The blackened abyss under his eyes; the subtle cuts and bruises from various bar fights; the hollow holes in his eyes where the light was shattered: this was the ‘Deku’ that he didn’t know. Bakugou didn’t even need to call out into the alleyway that he saw the boy turn in; Midoriya beat him to the call, “Hey, Kaachan.” Bakugou froze as if the ground fell from beneath him. Hopelessly sputtering, he tried to find the words to portray his thoughts, “D-Deku?” He became speaking before thinking, “What happened? Where have you been? Why are you here?” questions spitting at the speed of light. “Oh, so you care now?” Midoriya replied sarcastically, clearly taking the other male aback. The ‘Deku’ he knew didn’t talk back or use sarcasm, let alone both. “What happened to you?” the real question. Midoriya only smiled, looking sorrowfully off in the distance. The way he held himself changed drastically, but Bakugou had just now realized. “You just vanished one day! Everybody thinks you’re dead! My mom-” another quick questionnaire, but Midoriya cut him off, “Are you trying to convince me that you care?” his tone was deadpan and flat. Looking Bakugou dead in the eyes, now, he continued, “Mitsuki-san is kind: she would have adopted me, you know that, right? She’s not going to let her best friend’s kid go into the fucked up foster care system. Is that what you wanted? Could you even live if we were in the same house?” he hissed. Acid hot on his tongue, he didn’t give Bakugou even a moment to recover, “Anything would have been better than living with you, and I know I’m not the only one that thinks that. If you can look me dead in the eyes and say that you wanted me to stay, go ahead. I dare you,” he challenged, green eyes meet red and sparks flying. Bakugou opened his mouth, but words would come out. Did he want ‘Deku’ to stay? Wasn’t his goal to get him out of his life? His mind raced with contradictions, but, before anything could leave his mouth, he watched Midoriya smile sadly. Green eyes hit the ground, “I didn’t think so,” was uttered as he turned away. Bakugou could only stand, mouth agape; words wouldn’t make their way to his mouth, his body wouldn’t move, but his mind continued to race. As the boy disappeared from sight, Bakugou began walking back to the train station with more questions than answers. What happened to the Deku he once knew?

Next

Master

[chosos-lesbo]

Glimmer •Peter Parker x Reader•

Fandom: Marvel

Characters/Pairings: Ned, MJ, Liz, Flash is mentioned, Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: You and Peter have been best friends since Elementary School, but in middle school, you started to develop feelings for him. You always had a little glimmer of hope that he might feel the same. With homecoming around the corner and Peter’s crush on Liz, insecurities start to rise, which may cause that glimmer to go out. This is kind of long, but you probably didn’t read it anyways.

Warnings: insecurities, reader is a major tomboy, but I don’t know if that counts, a few curse words

Word Count: 1,762

A/N: This is probably a load of crap, but I tried. There will be a part 2 to this. Also, I made the reader like me because I’m a major tomboy as well, and I deal with some insecurity because of it.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You stood in the girl’s locker room, your left foot propped up on the bench. You quickly tied your shoe laces before jogging out of the locker room, into the gym. You quickly found Peter and Ned because they always stood off to the side, away from everyone else.

“Sup, losers,” you said, walking up to the dynamic duo.

“Hey,” Ned replied with a cheeky grin.

“Hey,” Peter mumbled, staring at Liz who was talking to her friends.

“My goodness, Pete,” you chuckled. “You should really stop staring. It makes you seem like a stalker.”

You typically kept your mouth shut, but you started to grow jealous. You had a very big crush on Peter and have since middle school, but you were too afraid to admit it. However, it got worse when he started to obsess over Liz. Liz was kind, smart, and really pretty; she was the definition of perfect which made you insecure.

You felt inadequate because she wasn’t nerdy and weird like you. She didn’t have a room full of comic books, Pop! bobbleheads, and posters of movies. She didn’t geek out over Star Wars or Harry Potter. Liz was pretty, and you thought you just looked “approachable.” She knew how to dress in clothes that fit her properly and not clothes that were a size too big. She had well put together hair, not a frizzy mess that made her look like she was from the 80s. She wore makeup where as you didn’t know there was such a thing called an eyelash curler.

“Earth to (Y/N),” Ned chirped up, waving his hand in front of your face.

“What?”

“We have to run laps,” he groaned, beginning to trudge towards the blue outlines of the basketball court.

You pulled the hair tie off your wrist, attempting to pull your hair up. As soon as you got it around twice, the band snapped, hurting your finger. Your day was just getting worse.

***

You sat down at the lunch table that you, Peter, and Ned usually sit at. You noticed MJ sitting at the end of the table. You scooted down the bench, closer to where the odd girl was sitting, but you honestly couldn’t say anything because you were the same way.

“Hey,” you greeted before taking a bite out of the sandwich that sat on your tray.

“How long?” she questioned, closing the book she was holding.

“What?”

“How long have you been in love with Peter?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you replied, shoving a big chunk of the sandwich into your mouth.

“As you know, I’m quite observant, and the way you look at him says it all.”

“You don’t get it. He doesn’t feel the same. He can’t,” you retorted, your mouth still full of food.

“He looks at you the same way when you’re not looking.”

“You should take tips from Harry Potter. You mustn’t tell lies.”

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. She took a bite of her sandwich as well, kind of ending the conversation. You looked down at the other end of the table, seeing Peter looking at you. You waved gently, giving him a closed mouth smile due to your mouth being full of the sandwich. You turned away, not wanting to get your hopes up.

If only you knew.

***

Homecoming was approaching, and you didn’t have a date. You didn’t really expect to have one, anyways with your confidence not being the best. Although you didn’t even plan on going to the dance, your mom bought a dress and insisted on you going.

In fact, you were forced to try it on now. You were standing in your bedroom with your mom zipping up the dress you had yet to see.

“Alright, have a look,” she piped up, patting your bare shoulders.

You went into the hall bathroom where there was a full length mirror. To say you were in shock when you saw your reflection was an understatement. You had a beautiful green dress on that suited your body perfectly. You actually forgot that your body could even remotely look like this. Now all you had to do was wait for homecoming. You would ask Peter, but the last thing you wanted was to be rejected.

***

Here it was. The day of homecoming. Peter had ended up asking Liz, and she said yes, which she’d be insane not to because Peter was perfect. He was gorgeous and had a toned body which was pretty cool (his upper half because he hadn’t thought anything of it), but the cherry on top was his personality. However, you were weary that Liz only said yes because of the former, but she was the lucky girl that he asked.

You just had a glimmer of hope because he’d never seen you in something like this before. The most dressy thing he’s ever seen you wear was a pair of ripped blue jeans. You were just praying, to whomever was listening, that Peter would notice you.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Ned cheered, greeting you with a big grin. Peter came jogging up behind him, that lovestruck look in his eyes that he’s had since he asked Liz. “You going to homecoming?”

“Yeah,” you answered, with a nonchalant shrug.

“I’m shocked,” Peter retorted with a light chuckle.

“Why?”

“Because you have to dress up, and you always dress in men’s clothing. I didn’t think you even owned a dress,” Peter replied, thinking he was being funny, but your cheeks tinted red out of embarrassment and anger.

“What the heck, dude?” Ned said, punching his shoulder.

“To be quite honest, Peter, I didn’t before yesterday. I may not dress ‘like a lady’ every day, but I’m allowed to wear a dress whenever I fucking want,” you snapped, ignoring what Ned said.

“I was just joking,” Peter mumbled, looking at his shoes.

“You should really just stick to the science jokes,” you said, rolling your eyes.

That glimmer just went out.

***

You stood on the steps of Midtown High, wearing the dress your mother had gotten you yesterday. Your hair was the same as usual, a large frizzy mess, but you had mascara and some lipstick your mom let you use. Even though it wasn’t really a drastic change, you felt different.

You entered the school, going into the gym where it was being held. The colorful lights flew around the gym as music was being blasted through the speakers. You’d definitely have to request a song later.

You looked a little lost, not really knowing what to do while you’re here. You looked down at your shoes as you stood off to the side. You didn’t really want to dance alone, and it was only going to get worse when there was a slow song.

Your luck began to turn when you heard Ned’s voice, and when you looked up, you saw him scanning the dance floor. You dusted off the skirt of your dress and began to walk over to Ned.

“Hey, Ned,” you said, gaining his attention. When he turned, he had a look of shock on his face, making me a little self-conscious. “What? Do I look okay? Is it the hair? It’s probably the hair. I tried to straighten it, bu-”

“You look beautiful, (Y/N),” Ned replied, cutting you off mid-ramble.

“Really? Thank you,” you beamed, becoming a little more confident. “Where’s Pete?”

“Right there,” he answered, pointing at Peter as he walked in with Liz.

Peter was all dressed up in a nice tux, but what really set it off was the beautiful smile that adorned his lips. Liz, of course, looked gorgeous as she usually did. Once you realized how beautiful she looked, your insecurities came flooding back. She did proper makeup where as you had to borrow your mom’s because you didn’t have any. Her hair perfectly framed her face, but yours was a frizzy mess.

“Hey, (Y/N). You look pretty,” Liz said, interrupting your thoughts.

“Um, oh, thank you. You do too,” you stuttered, looking at a stunned Peter. “Hey Peter. You look handsome.”

“You look beautiful,” he replied, not breaking the eye contact.

“Come on, Pete. Let’s dance,” Liz said, as the four of us just kind of stood in the entry way.

Liz and Peter went off into the center of the dance floor, leaving you and Ned. You two looked at each other, shrugged, and linked arms, following the two out to the dance floor. You noticed how Ned looked at you and then flickering to Peter.

“What?” You asked, growing worried.

“You love Peter.”

“Where did you get that idea?”

“It makes sense now.”

“He likes Liz.”

“Not exactly.”

“Besides, he can’t love me back. Guys like that don’t like girls like me. I hardly dress like one, and it shouldn’t shock you if I wear a dress and a bit of makeup.”

Ned just stood there, not really knowing how to reply. You started to feel guilty for snapping at one of your best friends. “I’m sorry, Ned. How about we just stop talking about this and just dance?” You suggested, seeing him relax.

You started to awkwardly dance with Ned, the both of you lacking the skill of dancing, but that’s what made it fun. You quickly glanced over at Peter and Liz, and it seemed that Liz was the only one dancing. Pete was acting odd. He looked detached.

It was going smoothly until he said something to her, and he took off, leaving the gym. Then, without a word, Ned followed him, leaving you alone as well. You and Liz looked at each other, the two of you equally confused. You slowly made your way to her because even though you were jealous of her, she was a sweet girl.

“Wanna hangout with me for the night? I mean, I know I’m not really the kind of girl you’d typically hang out with, but no one should have to dance alone.”

“Sure,” she shrugged, with a small smile.

***

You stood at your locker, grabbing your binder and book for AP European History. You were taken out of your thoughts when you felt someone shake your shoulder. You put your books in your arm, closing your locker. You turned, finding a frantic looking Ned.

“Hey, Ned. What’s wrong? Is Flash being a dickhead again?” You said, leaning against the lockers behind you.

“You’ll probably hate me after I tell you this, but” he paused, looking like he was trying to gain courage to say something. You were growing impatient from just standing there, so you started to make a hand motion, trying to get him to say it already. “I told Peter.”

“You told Peter what?”

“That you’re in love with him,” he answered, scared to look into your eyes.

“You what?!” You shouted, anger running through your veins.

That’s when you saw a nervous Peter walking in your direction, moving his lips as if he was practicing what he was going to say. You couldn’t handle rejection right now, so you just walked in the other direction, feeling tears build up in your eyes.

If that glimmer hadn’t gone out before, it sure as hell just did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 is coming soon……

[hazel2468]

A Movie Review: Annihilation

(Hey y’all, I wrote a movie review of this thing that came out like a month ago and it was fun so have this and I will do more- probs Thor and Black Panther coming up next cuz those have been my faves)

WARNING: SPOILERS

Alright. So, let me start of with a slight disclaimer: I have read the entire Southern Reach Trilogy. The reason I begin with the fact that I am a fan of the books is because I feel that reading Annihilation has very much informed how I feel about the film Annihilation. Although I went into the movie knowing that it was going to be very different from the book, I still couldn’t help but compare, and I was a bit disappointed. So, when you are reading this review, keep that in mind. This is not going to be a spoiler-free review: THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE. If you have not seen the movie, and are here to find out if you should go or not: Go and see it. If you have read the books, go and see it. If you have not read the books, still go and see it. I think Annihilation is worth the watch for anyone who enjoys science fiction, and it is for SURE something that needs to be experienced. Me telling you about the film won’t be the same, not by a long shot.

I don’t usually do movie reviews. In fact, this is my first one. So, let’s try out a little formula, which i will then immediately break because I need to review Annihilation a little differently. I’m going to look at it in terms of a few things. 1) How did I personally enjoy the film? Did I like the characters/ setting/ mood/ story, etc.? 2) Did the movie do what it set out to do? So, in the case of Annihilation, did it make me feel really freaking weird? And 3) Would I recommend this film, yes or no, and then an explanation of why. More in depth than my recommendation at the top, obvs.

Okay, here we go!

1) How did I personally enjoy Annihilation?

I’ll start off by saying that Annihilation is NOT a masterpiece, at least not to me. I’ve seen quite a few reviews saying that it is, but it didn’t quite get there for me. Now, that’s not to say that it was bad. On the contrary, I think it was good, and after taking about a month to incubate, re-read the book, and think in depth about the film, I will say that it is even a little bit more than good (I do need to re-watch it when it comes out on Netflix for sure). It was a solid sci-fi film with some excellent elements- for example, the visuals were AMAZING and really fit the overall tone, but with enough problems that took away from the overall experience. If I had to give it a rating, let’s say out of ten, I would say this is a solid seven or seven and a half. Now, I will instantly temper that by reminding you all that I am a HUGE fan of the book, and that has 100% colored both my enjoyment and interpretation of the film. Let’s talk a little bit about why (and here is where I diverge from the template I developed five minutes ago for myself).

The novel is narrated by the main character, known only as The Biologist. We get not just her words, but her inner monologue, her thoughts, feelings, experiences, all described to us very intimately, as if she were telling us herself. She is also an unreliable narrator- we know as little as she does, and her recollection is influenced by her own perspectives and biases. The movie is NOT narrated by the Biologist, who is named Lena in the film, though it is told from her perspective. We get a glimpse into her life, her thoughts, her feelings, as she is the lens through which we enter this world, but it is nowhere near as intimate and in-depth as the novel. They changed her character drastically and, while I think I would have very much liked Lena in another film, the fact that she was supposed to be The Biologist kind of ruined her for me. The Biologist is what made Annihilation the book so entrancing and hypnotic for me. We went on a journey with her, we learned things, and then we left her behind to go into the other books. She was our guide- this is not so much the case in the film. And that detracts something.

However, stepping away from The Biologist (Lena), the other characters were great. I think that all of them were colorful, bright, and simultaneously dark and twisted in just the right ways. I connected to them all, they felt real. And they all did a superb job in their roles. The actresses were very well cast- even Natalie Portman, who played Lena, did an excellent and evocative job. She did succeed in moving me and making me feel things, and I know I would have enjoyed her character a lit more had I not read the novel.

My feelings about the overall story are similar to those I have for the character of Lena. I think it was very well done, well executed (except for the end but a bit more on that in a second), but knowing the books took away my enjoyment. The story also was seriously lacking, in my novel-ridden opinion, especially in the end. Lena’s “defeat” of Area X seemed very, very lackluster to me: one of the best aspects of Area X in the novels was that it was a thing that could not be stopped, it was a thing to accept rather than fight. And in the novel, The Biologist does just that. But the film goes a totally different direction, and the “destruction” of Area X, while it is perhaps an artful metaphor for self-destruction (a running theme in the movie), really left me feeling, well, bleah. They do manage to save it right at the very end, with Lena meeting up with the “other version” of her husband and both of them revealing that they are not, in fact, themselves. It brings back that feeling of “Area X is here and we cannot stop it”, but it was seriously lacking when compared to the path of the novels, and my expectations. Despite the obvious flaws, the plot was exciting enough to keep me on my toes and keep me interested all the way through- something that not all movies I have seen recently can do.

Something that Annihilation got right, at least, was the mood. The atmosphere. The movie takes us into Area X, and the sights and sounds were right in line with what I expected. A beautiful, twisted, alien-yet-familiar world that both awed and terrified me. Perfect. The movie also added in creatures, monsters, something not in the book which I very, VERY much enjoyed. I would like to take a moment to give a shout-out to the bear- a monster that I am pretty sure was a representation of the Moaning Creature from the novel. It didn’t have a jumpscare, it wasn’t even loud- most of its scene was quiet. But it unnerved and disturbed me in a way that a movie monster has not in a very long time- namely because it had a human voice. A decaying bear, skull visible, with human eyes, a human tongue, and a roar that sounds like the dying screams of its last victim? Pure nightmare fuel, at least for me. I loved it. I was apprehensive about there being actual monsters in the movie, given that the unseen horror aspect of the novels was a huge part of their overall feel, but the bear/Moaning Creature was perfect for this film and I need to acknowledge that.

2) Did the movie do what it set out to do?

I would say so. It’s very rare for me to walk out of a theatre and not know how I feel about what I just watched, but that sensation is what I had expected from Annihilation. I went through cycles of loving the movie, hating it, being grossed out by it, being unnerved by it, all in the span of a few hours. So yes, the movie achieved its goal in making me feel something. I also know that the film did not set out to be a replica of the book, rather a take on it, so I cannot fault the movie for not being a carbon-copy of the novel. And it was a good take. But it didn’t leave me with the same feeling that I had when I read the novel. Horrified? Oh yes. Awed? Sure. Creeped out by that fucking zombie-bear? Hell yeah. But there was something missing. Alex Garland captured the surreal familiarity of an alien world on earth, and he did it well, and I almost wish I hadn’t read the books because then maybe I would have enjoyed this film a LOT more than I did.

But there was something missing. I remember my first experience reading Annihilation- I devoured it in a little more than two hours and sat in shock on my now-girlfriend’s bed trying to digest what I had just consumed. There was the horror and the awe, yes. But there was something else, and that something came from the tone of acceptance and resignation- which was oddly… I wouldn’t call it cheerful, but it wasn’t sad or angry. It just was..? And it was that feeling of ..? that defined my experience with the novel, and with the two after it (though Authority was a bit more defined by a feeling of “wow this is SLOW”).

I cannot say that the movie didn’t get where it wanted to go, because it did. It was a solid sci-fi movie with some disturbing imagery and elements and it was a good take on the novel. It just didn’t get me where I wanted to go, and that is wholly the fault of my viewing it through the lens of the novel.

3) Would I recommend this film?

Yes, I would. Whether you have read the book(s) or not, I think this one is worth the watch. Based on the reviews, and based on my own viewing, I will say that this isn’t a movie for everyone. It is super trippy- if you have epilepsy or some other condition triggered by bright, flashing lights or colors, I would suggest that you stay away from this one, as there are a few sequences near the end that get really bright and flashy- and will leave you with a LOT more questions than it answers, so if you are alright with that, go and see it. The reviews seem very polarized. People either loved it or hated it, and there doesn’t seem to be too much in-between (like me). But with all films, and especially a film like Annihilation, I would say that you need to see it for yourself to figure out how you feel about it.

Final Recommendation: Annihilation is a trippy, beautiful sci-fi film that carries itself pretty well despite it’s flaws. A big part of how I judge movies is if it is strong enough to get past its problems, and Annihilation fits the bill, I think. Go and give it a watch: I’m not sure when it is coming out on Netflix, but with visuals like this, maybe seeing it on the big screen would be worth your while.

[radawz]

Clouds over Mallorca

Palma EVS - Part 11

October 24th – November 6th

As I start to write this part, fall has already arrived to Palma and my 5th month here has also began. Things and life in general are not as exciting as they were in the first few months, the “honeymoon period” of my EVS is over by now. But luckily there are good things too. :)

So after that slightly negative introductory let me explain why the majority of October was my worst period since my EVS started. First of all: the weather. I have to admit, this is a strange reason, because while the hot summer temperatures are gone, but the weather in Palma is still significantly better than what I'm used to in Hungary at this time of the year. It's not about the lower temperatures, it's about what you can and mainly what you can't do (be outside all day long and go to the beach). And also, I like fall and especially winter, I don't mind when it's -10 degrees outside, I love snow and almost everything that comes with the colder months. I think my biggest problem is that here the transition between the seasons isn't as drastic and therefore less exciting than it is back home. Palm trees give a nice summer vibe to the city, but they are useless at creating an environment like this when fall arrives:

I'm still very curious how the holiday period will be in Spain, but if I'm honest, I doubt I will like it as much as I usually do. But maybe I'm wrong and different will be better in that case, we shall see.

And now you – the reader – probably think that I just got to the point where homesickness kicked in, but it's not really the case. Sure, I miss my family, my friends, my dog, my home and keeping contact with people only on Skype and Facebook is not ideal, but just as I was okay with that at the beginning, I am still fine with the whole situation. And of course I miss certain things from my country, but that's also not the reason why my mood in general isn't as good as usually.

And that brings me to the explanation why I'm currently not on top of the world. It's basically the fault of time. Yep, time. Time that already passed during my first months as a volunteer. Those times, when everything was new and shiny and interesting. Well, those days are over. And obviously there is still a whole lot to experience, learn and enjoy during my EVS, but that doesn't change the fact that I arrived to a period that I was hoping to avoid during these 12 months. The period when volunteers lose their excitement that is there at the start of the EVS adventure. Even before my project started I read about the changes in mood that volunteers usually experience. At the start and towards the end everything seems great and time flies as you enjoy the place and people around you. But the first stage usually ends after a while when you get used to everything and I think that is where I am now. And before you start to imagine me in a sad and depressive state, I can tell you that's not the case. I'm fine, but things did change so now I have to figure out a way to get back to a better stage.

Thankfully there are a couple of things that will help me with that. A package full of goodies are on it's way from Hungary, we currently have some friends from Tarragona visiting us, a trip to Manchester is coming up and our EVS mid-term training is happening 3 weeks from now, where me and Pier will reunite with a lot of those volunteers we got to know during our on-arrival training. Also, we already have plans to celebrate New Year's Eve in the company of our awesome EVS friends. Everything seems to be set up for a great November and December.

And to finish this post off in a different tone, here are some things to give you some insight to what I have been doing in the last few days: for work I have started to create PDFs like this, I did some baking to make "nutella snails". I spent Halloween and All Saints' Day doing nothing, but resting and watching movies, then a few days later I went to the barber shop with Pier for a much needed haircut. And to end the weekend we went to the Mallorca – Zaragoza game to witness this goal, before watching the first North London Derby of the season on Sunday.

And that's about it, so see you next time with a hopefully much more cheerful post! :)

Photo credit: Eric Kilby via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-SA