#the way i originally wanted to finish this in time for final ep release of s1 LOL

[orchiro]

what's going to happen next????

[dustedmagazine]

Ian Mathers’ 2024: A milestone, a millstone, a molehill

Los Campesinos by Martyna Bannister

At this point, my fondest wish for these year-end essays is that some day I’ll get to write one that starts by noting we just had a year where it didn’t feel like everything got worse. But 2024 is not that year, and 2025 already isn’t looking good either (up here in Canada we’re looking down the barrel of an election likely to give us our worst Prime Minister in some time, and that is a low bar to limbo under). And yet we keep making art in the face (sometimes directly, defiantly in the face) of all that. Even recent confirmation that Spotify is worse for music than you might have thought simply will not stop the human impulses to create and connect.

And just as with every other year, the variety of ways those impulses were expressed, even just in the medium of music, are wonderfully manifold. If my own listening had a theme it was the unexpected but welcome return. My album of the year was undeniably Los Campesinos! All Hell, where the band I’ve seen play live the most came back after 8 years with what I am increasingly comfortable calling their best album, full stop. I am probably on record somewhere admitting that I don’t tend to like the results when bands follow a record with an EP of stripped down versions of those songs, but LC!’s More Hell (originally bonus tracks, but definitely good enough to stand on its own) feels like the first time in a while I get their appeal. And if you’d told me at the end of 2023 that not only would there be a new LC! album by the end of 2024 but that Underworld of all people would suddenly have a record out (their first since 2016 if you only count ones that could fit on a single CD), I literally wouldn’t have believed my luck, even before hearing the vivid, joyous humanity bursting from Strawberry Hotel.

Meanwhile, although Godspeed You! Black Emperor has been more active than either of those acts, when I saw them live in February I had no idea before year’s end they’d release a record they’d apparently already finished (or that I’d see them again the night of the US election, an experience that is going to stick with me for a while). Admittedly I don’t necessarily make a practice of scanning upcoming releases to see what’s in store. But still I probably would have bet at least $20 at the beginning of the year that none of those bands would put out anything, let alone that they’d be three of the records I played and loved the most. And while they were less unexpected by me, other returning acts like Cassandra Jenkins, Xiu Xiu, and Midwife all set new best-LP benchmarks for me this year.

That’s not to say that 2024 was without new thrills. Sometimes it was from established acts, like finally checking out Chelsea Wolfe after meaning to for years and absolutely loving She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She (I know the earlier records are different, but this still means I need to get into them I think) or truly locking in with Water Damage for the first time. And sometimes it was totally new to me like Dis Fig (although I already loved the Body), Whitelands, or Doechii. And then there’s Alan Sparhawk’s White Roses, My God, which somehow felt like it falls into both categories, and is a record I’ll be coming to grips with for a while.

Last year I talked about a change in my personal year-end methodology, and this year it feels right to continue in a similar vein. Cutting down to 20 records left plenty of wonderful ones out, but ultimately, I went for the ones that I kept returning to, the ones I’d push back listening to other albums I wanted to get to in order to spend more time with. And there’s again a further 20 songs, representing ones that didn’t show up on an album, or where I didn’t love the rest of the record as much, or just from albums that didn’t quite make it in. In alphabetical order, with links to my reviews where they exist for the albums and links to videos for the songs. We got through another one; here’s to finding as much good in 2025 and to all of us being back here again with lists of art we loved at the end of it.

20 LPS

Alan Sparhawk — White Roses, My God (Sub Pop)

The Body & Dis Fig — Orchards of a Futile Heaven (Thrill Jockey)

Cassandra Jenkins — My Light, My Destroyer (Dead Oceans)

Charli XCX — brat (Atlantic)

Chelsea Wolfe — She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She (Loma Vista)

claire rousay — sentiment (Thrill Jockey)

Clinic Stars — Only Hinting (Kranky)

Doechii — Alligator Bites Never Heal (TDE/Capitol)

Glass Animals — I Love You So F***ing Much (Polydor)

Godspeed You! Black Emperor — “NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28,340 DEAD” (Constellation)

Hypnodrone Ensemble — The Problem Is in the Sender — Do Not Tamper With the Receiver (WV Sorcerer Productions)

Jessica Moss — For UNRWA (self-released)

Locrian — End Terrain (Profound Lore)

Los Campesinos! — All Hell (Heart Swells)

Midwife — No Depression in Heaven (The Flenser)

Underworld — Strawberry Hotel (Smith Hyde Productions/Virgin)

Vince Staples — Dark Times (Def Jam)

Water Damage — In E (12XU)

Whitelands — Night-bound Eyes Are Blind to the Day (Sonic Cathedral)

Xiu Xiu — 13” Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto with Bison Horn Grips (Polyvinyl)

20 MORE SONGS

Allie X — “Off With Her Tits”

BABYMETAL/Electric Callboy - “Ratatata”

Bruno Berle ft. Batata Boy — “Dizer Adeus”

Caroline Polachek — “True Love Waits”

Chappell Roan — “Good Luck, Babe!”

Charli XCX ft. Lorde — “Girl, so confusing”

The Cure — “Alone”

Gracie Abrams — “I Love You, I’m Sorry”

High Vis — “Mob DLA”

Kendrick Lamar — “Not Like Us”

Kenya Grace — “Strangers”

King Woman — "Bury"

Magdalena Bay — “Death & Romance”

Olivia Rodrigo — “obsessed”

Sevdaliza ft. Pabllo Vittar and Yseult — “Alibi”

Shaboozey — “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”

Thursday — “Application for Release From the Dream”

Tommy Richman — “Million Dollar Baby”

Venjent — “We Need Jungle [I’m afraid]”

The Weeknd — “Dancing in the Flames”

[blackdigitalrose]

Fri - Healin' Good Pretty Cure - EP 38 - 40

Attempting to get it out the way early today ^^;

✧˖°. and this is post 250! Doesn't feel like I've posted that much

EP 38

This is the complete opposite to what they've been saying this whole time, Chiyu doing the high jump never came into it, she was just set to inherit the inn. (but just look at that multi gen household!)

Huzzah, one who can get it right. You wouldn't think it was so difficult.

(⚈∇⚈ ) We've gone full circle, that's exactly what Chiyu told Pegitan at the start. Darn he's so sweet, supportive and adorable, that unwavering faith in Chiyu ♡ But ha at the villain providing the answer of the week.

This doesn't happen anywhere near enough, its monster of the week and gone, you want the Precure out the picture, why not be more hands on? Unfortunately Shindoine has proven to be completely useless -.-

Yay character progression!

EP 39

Good gravy that is too disturbing to open an ep with! Although considering this is Hinata and why that line of thought makes sense, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd be represented with a plank that just says King Byogen.

Why did it take so long to shut in the first place, you would think it would close automatically, after all that's the wide open, any random soul could have waltzed in there?

Appreciate that Nodoka is the one to make the first move, it's a strong leader move, can't expect others to do what you won't. Although you would have thought they'd try to turn themselves around during transit, so that they don't come out on their heads. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

How kind of our big bad to just let them transform undisturbed, plot convenience can hurt sometimes with its daftness (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖ ooh burn, imagine the big bad being that disappointed in you. Seriously this guys got all the disses on stand by.

And a glimpse of the original one, which implies Rate will learn to speak fully one day to.

And no... surely it can't be that easy? There's another 5 eps to go and that was just the bog standard finisher???

EP 40

∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ? I'll be fair, he was the last person I was expecting to step up, so he wasn't actually an idiot this whole time?

But Shindoine and Daruizen confirmed his presence his missing so I guess King Byo-gen is actually done o.O?

How did he even know Hinata was there to open the portal infront of her anyway? On the other hand, King Byo-gen is still defeated, so it isn't a total loss. Hinata put up an impressive fight against Guaiwara though.

And why yes, I get why Hinata was beating herself up over what happened but egads she was being way too harsh on herself and all in all, I wouldn't have said she screwed up, they all agreed to go, trap or not the opportunity was there. Everyone else did a poor job at stopping her verbally beating herself up though.

That seems like a big ask if the whole area is undermined? (ignore plot convenience though that there will be just a lone random spot untouched)

Points all around, Daruizen for intercepting and the rest of the girls for being sharp enough to catch on and trying to do something about it.

Now if you were left uninterrupted and could make as many as you want, while your plan is to transform everything... why would you release them all in the same darn place >.<

(,,•o•,,) They were actually an amazing lead up, the finale will be amazing if it keeps this pace up. Now all I need is a Grace vs Daruizen showdown, after everything, all that build up, these two have got to have their big, one on one throw down before the series is over.

Come one Healin, its the final stretch, don't mess it up!

[moonchild-in-blue]

Create ; Release

A Sleep Token illustration project

Edit - May 2025 (lmao)

Obviously this didn't went as expected, but after a very long hiatus I'm once again working on this. I've decided to change the format a little bit, so this might not be posted as linear as planned. I'm keeping it simple and fun 💙

(see under the cut for my original post)

I've talked a bit about this art project before, but now that I'm close to finish painting the 1st round, I can finally make a Serious Master Post about it (to make it easier to find and because I need to have everything neatly organised or else I die).

Create ; Release is a series of painted illustrations for each Sleep Token album, where each song will have its own individual painting based on my favourite lyrics, tied together by a colour palette. They won't necessarily relate to the ST lore, even though there will be some elements included. I'm going for a bit more abstract/conceptual approach, so to speak.

I'm starting with This Place because 1) it's been on my mind a lot recently; 2) for some reason the colour blue has been incredibly inspiring for me (Darya's Blue Period era); 3) I just felt like it 💙

The original plan is to make the 3 albums, but I might expand to include the EPs and 2 singles. This project has been a lot a bit taxing and time-consuming, but incredibly fun and satisfying to make!

[Because I know myself, I'll hold off posting the final illustrations until I've had the whole album scanned and ready. That way, I'll make sure to actually finish it, and you won't wait ages between songs (there will be however a few weeks of waiting time between albums, to allow myself time to have them all pretty and ready!) I will be sharing a few sneak-peeks and what-not with you while creating them 😘]

Links and Tags (will update as we go):

All posts will be tagged as #create;release

Sundowning

Tag -> #create;release sun

This Place Will Become Your Tomb

Tag -> #create;release tpwbyt

Atlantic | Hypnosis | Mine | Like That | The Love You Want | Fall For Me | Alkaline | Distraction | Descending | Telomeres | High Water | Missing Limbs

Take Me Back To Eden

Tag -> #create;release tmbte

Bonus:

Sneak-Peeks / Sketches

Tag -> #create;release bts

One (tbd)

Two (tbd)

Jaws / TWTYW (tbd)

If this is something you're interested in keeping up with, or if you're from the future and are going through this because you're sooo in love with my art and me (kidding), a big massive THANK YOU from the depths of my heart 🥺.

Your support and encouragement mean the world to me! 🌙💙✨

[petrichoraline]

Seeing your "need to be distracted from giffing", raising my own "need to be distracted from my work" so here i am =3

I have seriously fallen off the QL wagon, so i will ask: is there a QL you're currently watching (ongoing or finished) that you'd particularly recommend? (Except love sea if u don't mind 🙈)

Also, have you been listening to some good music lately? Anything you'd share with the class? ♡ (personally have my brain rotting to the soundtrack of interview with the vampire since early June but i always welcome new noises to jam to)

Sendind you force for the giffing 💪🏻 and good vibes so it ultimately comes out the way you want it to!! -☆

always ready to distract you love <3

"except love sea" there are other shows? lmao

okay so i want to recommend shows i'm not watching and really want to watch but that's not how recs work :( (if it were, though, i'd say go watch i hear the sunspot and zettai 3 for both of us); i'm procrastinating most of the shows i'm watching rn, i'm five eps behind on wandee, two eps behind on the trainee, four episodes behind on knock knock boys but the one i managed to keep up with is my love mix up. i wouldn't say i recommend it because honestl i believe there are better shows airing rn to invest time in. not because i am not enjoyng it but because july is so abundant with new releases and mlmu is just a bit underwhelming in a few ways right now (still, super cute, perfect chemistry, interesting new scenes compared to the original, just not smth to prioritize in my opinion)

oh! i am enjoying meet you at the blossom! idk if you're gonna like it cause there's an opium related dubcon scene in episode two (the opium isnt used in the way youd think but still); other than that it's very amusing and i am having so much fun finally watching a cdrama again, an uncensored wuxia is very precious of a concept to me an one of the mains is a part of an idiot trio and the other is gonna wreak havoc and it's gonna be angsty and i'm just curious about how it all goes down (esp since i have no clue what's happening now, i am not good at following the plot but pretty guys pretty)

and another rec i haven't seen for myself would be century of love, i want to watch it, two episodes are out for now and it's about two hours long total in case you decide to check it out, i think it looks lovely

(and of course ayaka is in love with hiroko should be smth you consider, still havent started it but it's a jgl and it sounds cheesy and cute)

as for music..i haven't been listening to music much, i've gone back to some billie eilish hits like idontwannabeyouanymore and everything i wanted, i like chihiro a lot too; jeonghan and wonwoo's last night is gorgeous <3 ; i also went for some old big bang popular songs, other than that i think i listen to my usual songs on repeat (today it's been the into the woods ost again lol and rn i'm listening to jeonghan's dream)

thank you so much for the power charge!! received and hopefully will be utilized properly lol <33 sending you force for working!! and manyy good vibes 😘😘😘

[chwafl]

Original song... finished?!

I FINALLY finished writing the lyrics to my first original song. First, I commissioned the full instrumental using reference songs. Then, I tried to write the lyrics myself and asked for help from a songwriter, Rachael! She gave me tips on how to write a melody and... it was hard. I decided to just commission her to write me a topline. That was back near the end of last year. Now, finally, six months later, I'm done writing!

I was planning on finishing writing the song and release it in March of this year, but my time in Florida was more busy than I thought and instead of focusing on writing, I ended up doing two performances and having a lot of fun with my family. Not a bad trade off lol. Since returning back to Korea in March, I tried working on the song, but it was hard to really feel comfortable pinpointing what exactly I wanted to say in the song, and how exactly I wanted to say it. I wanted to do a song with somewhat of a double meaning, but I also didn't want my message to be unclear. BUT, I also didn't want it to be too literal. Hmm, what to do?

Rachael advised me to journal out all the thoughts I had on the topics I wanted to cover in the song. So, I did that and ended up with a three page essay with all the thoughts I wanted to convey, woah LOL. I tweeted about this and shoutout to Phoebe for suggesting that I could use that whole essay for a concept ep/album... perhaps that will happen >:3c The biggest hurdle with writing the lyrics was allowing myself to be vulnerable. I think the song is a somewhat emotional song, but not the kind that's very sad and makes you wanna cry. There are some melancholic parts, I guess? But my aim is to be uplifting and inspirational and maybe even sound... a little bossy? LOL.

See, it's one thing to write out how you feel about something and share it online. It's another thing to sit in front of a camera and speak out loud about how you feel and share it online. But now, this new concept of SINGING how I feel was making me feel super shy. Because not only are people going to judge the actual words of the lyrics, but also, the way it's sung, the way I look singing it, and the way everything sounds with the instrumental. Is it gonna be corny? Is it gonna be cringe? Is it gonna seem fake? Ultimately, these worries were due to my lack of confidence in songwriting. The only original song I ever wrote was a rap to one of the sonic the hedgehog computer game ost instrumentals about... a one piece character.... in 5th grade? LOL. Actually wait, I did also write one more original song... about a mysterious bathroom asian man when I was 18 at my first anime convention... if you know about that song, YOU ARE A REAL ONE HAHA. I've written parody rap songs in high school for my tv production class (and dare I say, got moderately famous at school because of it, let's just be honest here.)

Once I started getting the hang of condensing my thoughts into simple sentences and then re-wording the sentences to match the flow of the top-line, it took me only a few days to finally have the full lyrics completed.

There are a lot of lyrics. The song is very wordy, but I have a lot to say. guess I'm a "yapper." As I sing the song to practice before going to the rental room and record the vocals seriously for mixing, I feel more and more confident and excited to share the finished product with everyone. Sure, there are definitely going to be people who won't like the song, but even if people don't like the song, the effort I put into this is undeniable. If people can't respect me for that then they're just a haterrrr~ Now that I gained some confidence with crossing off one of the most daunting tasks of this original song checklist, I feel so inspired to make more songs and get better at this. I already have... a lot planned >:3c My life has felt so messy for the past few months, but suddently, now that I finished the song, my focus has become super clear and I feel really good about preparing for the release of it along with the aforementioned song ideas (^____^)/// So, Staring in July, I will be super super active online revealing other new things I've been working on, still.... getting my vlog channel up to date lol, and creating a countdown for the song release day.

Before I finish writing this, I want to close on a really personal note. So many have known that I've done idol live covers at cons and events since 2013. I started off as just doing dancing whenever I got the chance to get on the stage at conventions, and then I started singing in 2016 solo and with my group, Citrus Idol Project. At the time, idol stuff was not popular in Florida. There were a few people who got excited to see us/me, but idol events including original concept performers were rare unless I was the one behind organizing things. It wasn't until 2019 when holmat started including kaigai idol groups at the idol fest. After 2020, there has been a huge increase in idol events at conventions and more and more people are understanding the concept of idol, and words like "kaigai idol" and "overseas idol" are a little more well-known amongst the convention sphere. But what also changed since 2020? Me getting a job in Korea LOL. I can't deny that it had felt frustrating finally seeing idol things take off a little more in Florida while I'm not there. I tried to hold onto things by hosting my own events during my vacation, but even then, it seemed like not many people still didn't really know me or were interested in me specifically because, well, I'm not around anymore to introduce myself to people and prove myself to people.

Those feelings inspired me to finally make the jump and work on original music. The idea of making original music had been festering inside of me since 2015, for nearly 10 years, but I just didn't feel like I had a solid enough idea of who I am, what do I want to convey, and what is my goal. After turning 30, I finally have an answer to all of those questions, and while living abroad, I realized that the world is so huge and I can't get hung up on wondering if I'm still relevant in the community I had a big part in starting back home.

My colleages (lol I know it sounds so extra to say that) have gotten a lot bigger stage opporunities than me despite us starting activities at the same time. It made me feel like something was wrong with me. But no, that's not the problem. The problem is that I I haven't been expressing myself to my full potential. I think the reason why I haven't gotten very far is because I'm meant to keep on going, and pushing myself more creatively to really dig into the more authentic side of me that can't be fully expressed through covers. That authentic creative side of me can't be expressed through live performances alone.

So even though I did my first solo idol singing performance in 2016, I don't feel like things have truly begun until now. When I realease this original song and subsequent original music, that will be the real beginning.

[gavinparished]

Gp Music 2019-2021

Alright, so this is the first complicated phase. I wanted to start a new album with all I was doing with collaborators from RepostExchange at the time. So I did my best to hop right to it. I met KarmaTheGXD, typhon, hadrrien, Akenna and another rapper I'll call TTR for short this way.

I met TTR first, I sent him the last 2 beats for The Rez Life Be Like but decided to use them myself to finish off my album. He introduced my to Akenna, a singer, and then I produced Love V1, which made it to my GB EP, for them and me. Eventually I had a falling out with TTR so this track never came out as it was supposed to, he never even recorded vocals for me sadly. But Akenna did and they were stunning. I ended up using them on What Am I To You? from Distorted Memories. For future context, a lot of the album I was working on at this time became stuff for either the GB EP or Distorted Memories.

Another short reference is to my SoundCloud exclusive song Future G.O.A.T. Rapper. It's a remix which is why it's only up there. This rapper, an X wannabe really, I was cool with at the time wanted to collab and sent me that beat. I sent him the verse back after he sent me that beat asking for a feature but he never got back to me on it. Eventually he said he scrapped his song so I just edited my porition to work alone and dropped it. Fuck that guy tbh, he was never really a true supporter and never had a bone of originality in his body either. No hard feelings though I guess.

My first relationship was with KarmaTheGXD, so that's where I'll start. Due to me not being able to work at the time, he decided we'd split revenue on our songs together once I could do that. I agreed and his first gift to me was the beat for Thank You For Fighting. It was the first track I ended up writing for myself after my previous mixtape. It sounded great! He mixed it and gave my voice all these spacey sound effects. I just wish I had a better recording method and more confidence sooner.

We later ended up doing Kickin Rocks together. In my opinion this song has a lot less problems as far as recording sound and confidence in myself goes. I still listen to this song from time to time. It's one of my first tracks where I knew I was finally making progress. The lofi feel of the instrumental, the catchy hook with the effect yet simple verses, the spacey feeling of it all. That's exactly what I wanted to do.

I suppose the next chronological release would be my CF EP, which started as 2 tracks I produced. The first is illusions of happiness, just an instrumental I wanted to use as an interlude. I love this track and when I try to sell my older music to people this is one of the highlights they always mentioned. The two halves of the song, the transition period, the full change in vibe as it so simply switches. It's great honestly. LEVELS, which I created with $alem, is a whole different vibe. She provided me with most of the loops, then I did my best to build a track with it all. I love the outro specifically. I tried my best to really keep the loops entertaining but have more come in each loop around until the end. I think it was amateur work but there's some charm in it. This was the last time I'd properly work with $alem sadly. More on that to come in the future. The link below is to the EP with the song telephone calls included, my next single. It's a rap song produced by typhon.

SO, I've mentioned this a few times but this album was going to be a bit of a fusion between Karma's spacey style, typhon's industrial edge and my own classic inspired beats. I'll talk about what I did with typhon next. A few songs ended up getting made and released. telephone calls was the only one released at the time. The harsher, industrial feel added on to the sound I was going for and worked as a good transitional period between my songs and the one's produced by Karma which is why I wanted to make the album this way.

But this album didn't end up happening, there's actually 4 years between The Rez Life Be Like and my next album. Why's that? Life got in the way. I started going to school and learning German in the pandemic. Really that's how this run started with Thank You For Fighting. The fact that I made any songs at all in the advance school I was in plus my hours learning German is really outstanding, I just couldn't give it up. I didn't really. Once my classmates discovered my music they started making fun of me, it started bothering me less as I got better.

But since this album was scrapped, what happened to it's pieces? My songs I produced in this time went into the GB EP mostly. Everything on there was produced in the sessions for this album besides Heavy Pixels which was a throwaway from 2017-2019, not sure when exactly. But you can listen to those here. I like the production here. I tried learning trap with stuff like Double Kill and WTF LMAO, the latter being my favorite of the two due to it keeping that special edge that made it me. Love Interlude was my expansion and experimentaion with Love V1 after I couldn't write any verses on it I was happy with but I love the Love V1 instrumental with all my heart. Hearing Akenna's vocals on it, sadly not avaliable for you all, just warms my heart. Rumble is also a closer I had such a fun time making. Production-wise it's a highlight of my whole discography.

All 4 of the songs typhon produced on Distorted Memories were leftovers from this era. It was really gonna have a side A and B, with typhon doing the B side mostly with me mixed in. Glitch In The System was the intro there too meanwhile the other songs were just mixed in. I was writing Judgments at the time but hated the lyrics so I scrapped it. As far as my contributions to Distorted Memories from this era go, you can hear Akenna's vocals on my synth work on What Am I To You? A gorgeous, spokenword inspired song I did my best to put together with the pieces I had left of all the songs I made with those synths. You can hear that album here. I'll post more about it once I get to that point as well. And one last thing before I leave this section behind, Rehab Interlude from my upcoming album In Another Life was also from this era. It survived the longest and is my favorite song I've done with typhon yet.

This era honestly ends with Kickin Rocks, GB and Distorted Memories just got dragged into this because of what happened with them. Now I'm sure you're wondering what happened with the Karma instrumentals I was working with? I still have them. He sent me at least 100 beats as I was working on this. Currently, I have over 20 of them selected and am putting together a Madvillainy inspired album with them. I'm doing my best to create a forward-thinking, sound of the future version of that album. I will say it's not true that there won't be no hooks at all, but my pen game has gone up big time since these songs so I'm coming at these on a whole new level. I'm going at this process a bit diffferently than normally so I'm not sure how long it'll take but I'm doing my best to finish it within a year from now, I've already written multiple songs and gotten multiple features back. Big things are coming. Oh, and if you can't wait for that I also have 2 songs he produced and one he featured on for my upcoming album, In Another Life. End Of The Road is the outro he so beautifully produced while Mind Games is our hit that we both feature on. I'll link the now presave, later lead to DSPs, link here for people to listen in the future. I'm on a roll and I don't plan to stop any time soon. See you all there, thank you for the love on these posts so far, it means the world to me.

[beauwinsweep]

Apologies for the delayed response! I got a bit busy with finishing up final assignments for my classes. I'm happy to hear you like talking to me! I enjoy talking with you as well.

I can relate to suddenly feeling very affectionate towards my friends, though it does not happen all that often for me. My emotions in general are very much on the low-end, though I find that abnormal since it wasn't always this way. Not sure what's up with that but I'm thriving regardless of it.

This is fair! The CS//MP Discord is the only mc//yt Discord I'm active in, the rest I simply lurk due to fear of the community. I only get along with a very specific genre of people, so I don't find myself enjoying talking to strangers too much. Many members also have a tendency to act weirds towards anyone with a crumb of status, which discourages me from interacting outside of lore and art threads.

If you don't see yourself using the website, I wouldn't push you to make an account. I mainly switched over since the cc's and official account for CS//MP moved over, following my hyperfixation where it goes and all.

I rarely remember those days, just vague snippets here and there that are full of enjoyment and not anything negative. They're few and far between, but they're nice to reflect on.

I specifically was on the "play wild"/mobile version of an//imal jam, but I always thought the original version/PC version was super interesting. The main thing that captivated my attention was exploring and doing minigames to grind materials.

I really hope that De//vsisters makes more merchandise for their games. I would love to buy merch of the Beasts. I know Sh//adow Milk has a plushie and a chess set, but I want content of the others. I found their website that has merchandise and the only figurine they have is for St//rawberry Cr//epe, which is convenient as they're one of my favorite cookies, but I was sad at the lack of content otherwise.

I read your recent posts regarding your mental health and everything else, I unfortunately don't have any advice. 🫂 If you want to talk about anything to someone, I'm here! I don't mean that strangely since, again, we don't know each other outside of this presently, hope it doesn't come off that way. If you need anything I'm willing to give you my socials/come off of anon. I'm only still anonymous for consistency's sake.

Happy 17th, by the way! :)

❀

You’re all good, lol, i have bad mental health issues. and i think I was just overwhelmed by an incident with my ex and some of the other person friends. I don’t think it helped Milo decided to disappear. We get very finicky and incredibly empty without him. I’m alright now, but just genuine mental tweaks. I also just forgot everything that happened during that moment.

I AM HAPPY NOW! I’m very good now, I don’t know if I was guy from last night or not. But I do know I am Zelda/Z.314. And I’ve been having a good time with my birthday stuff. I spent time with family and my qpr. and I’ve been doing well. that’s completely fair, I’m so hyperfixtated on f//rsaken its so badly. The urge to keep up with everything is intense. I’ve currently only been on tumblr, twt, and discord. (Mainly discord and tumblr) as thats where all my current friends are. And I love my friends dearly.

I feel you so hard, my vague memories of 2020-2023 is deadly. I like thinking of the past, even if negative, it helps me realize im growing from em. I do like to remincise….

ahh you went to pl//y wild I went to animal j//m classic. We are NOT the same (/j). I loved the pc game, but couldn’t get hooked to pl//y wild. My computer broke and i was unable to play classic anymore, and since then, my account been terminated. God, me too. Sh//dow m//lk cookie was one of the most popular cookies released in kingdom. Which, dont get me wrong, hes a good cookie. But, I want merch of other b/asts and anci/nts.. Or in general some other cookies like you said. I would love some p/avola cookie merchandise. Or squ/d ink cookie… I really like all the sea-based ones too. Don’t worry, I’ll be alright! I just have a bit of issues I’ll get through. Whether you want to continue being anonymous is up to you, I don’t mind either way :].

Thank you! I went to build a bear and I got some stuff animals too. I hope your also having a good day.

[telemist]

A NEW ERA OF TELEMIST: GOING FULL TIME!!

Hello, everybody!

I´m actually extremely excited to break the news: I AM GOING FULL TIME WITH TELEMIST.

I'm gonna be able to work on my project full time and turn music into my livelihood! I'll finally be able to finish all the wips I have, work on the collabs I always promised but never had time for and work consistently on my album (finally!). Starting on April 7th, all my time and energy is going into this. I have some stuff to tidy up before that, but after finishing that I'll be completely free.

There's some big updates that I'm going to do, which I'm going to try to sum up for you as quickly as possible:

I'll be opening a PATREON page. There'll be 3 tiers with retroactive rewards: one that grants direct contact and feedback in my discord, another one with the benefits of the prior tier + answering questions about my ways of producing music, songs and so on and so forth; and then and a third one in which there will be early access to my songs and art (trying my own touch for POL DE LA JUNGLA). All of the tiers grant you access to exclusive songs (mostly 1 per month). More to be clarified soon, as soon as I set it up.

I'll be streaming my music making adventures on Discord! Every morning between 9am GMT+1 and 2pm GMT+1 (Spanish timezone) I'll be on my Discord server (https://discord.gg/FRbWrja) streaming myself making music for people that want to see it. This will be done in a section of my server called COOL ZONE (super creative I know) which will be for Patrons only as soon as I set the Patreon, but before that I'll be streaming normally in my server.

WE R MASSIVE WILL BE BACK! I had to put the last one to sleep because I didn't have the time nor resources to make it work (pls refer to my last written post in my Tumblr) but now that I have time to properly arrange something, it'll be done again! For those of yall who missed it last time, WE R MASSIVE is a sort of tribute complation to old school and modern jungle DnB, with all of the proceedings being donated to a charity of the choice of the submitters. It'd be overseen by my and any song and/or artwork would be welcome.

I'm uploading my original songs EVERYWHERE. I'm using a distro service to get everything in Spotify, Apple Music and so on and so forth. For those of you who have been asking for 5 years, your prayers have been heard.

I AM OPENING MUSIC COMMISSIONS. 3 slots at the same time, 100€ initial fee, 100€ per minute. works for ghost production, instrumental work and original compositions for diverse use (vgm, remixes, etc).

There will be more announcements coming soon, there's a little POL DE LA JUNGLA A/B that comes out this friday (April 4th), there'll be a proper telemist EP coming later this year and the album is set to release in late 2026. Might even have a music video and all!

Anyways, expect big things. I'm working very hard to make this work as neatly as I can. Thank you all for your support and goodbye!!!

[independentartistbuzz]

Rena Kozak’s Indie Project Child Actress Tells a Triumphant Story of Grief & Loss on Just Fine Never Better EP feat. Romantic Title Track

As Child Actress, Rena Kozak toes the line between a tangible reality and an infinite universe. While Calgary was her initial foundation, her move to Montreal in 2017 solidified her work not just as a performer and songwriter, but as a sought-out producer and mixing engineer. Having released her latest full-length, Ancestor Worship, last year, Kozak is now sharing the last of the songs she wrote after her boyfriend died in 2012 in the form of an EP entitled Just Fine Never Better.

This year, it became important to Kozak to finish and release the final remaining songs so she can cleanse herself of that phase and see what might happen next. The first two tracks are from early on in her grief phase, while the second two were written in the last couple of years. She wanted to include them on Just Fine Never Better as a way to symbolize forward motion and growth. The EP’s title track was originally written by Kozak’s late boyfriend, Chris Reimer of Women and The Dodos. It’s one that the couple both really liked, and after Reimer’s death, his parents gave Kozak permission to use it with Child Actress.

Listen to Just Fine Never Better featuring the ethereal title track HERE. Watch the official “Just Fine Never Better” music video HERE.

The official “Just Fine Never Better” music video was filmed in Montreal, QC at Studio Saint Zo and in San Francisco at Musée Mechanique. For a song about staying in, staying sober and taking a night off from the party, this video takes us to a surreal soirée in a psychedelic dream state. Mechanical alter-egos waltz and sing our subconscious thoughts to us while the only thing grounding us to the reality of the human world is a single wind turbine on the horizon. A reminder that even when we let ourselves get swirled away by substances and revelry by night, the wind is always there in the morning as the world turns around us – whether we like it or not.

I struggled to understand what Chris was saying in the lyrics on the cell phone recording of us jamming together – beyond the phrase “we could have a regular time tonight,” I couldn’t make out much else. I had never asked him what he was singing, I was always delicate with Chris and his creative output. He was shy about his songwriting and was just starting to develop lyrics and I didn’t want to push or influence him by prying. I figured he would make the words clear when he was sure of himself. 

I took the one phrase I could hear to be an implication of his desire to slow down on drinking and partying – a concept we had been talking about a lot. His lifestyle on tour was full of alcohol, and we were having a lot of conversations about how when we moved in together we would slow down on the drinking, we would have more “regular nights.” I built a little on the idea that he was musing on this with the song – what would it be like to fall asleep sober and wake up feeling fine… and then, for me, I inserted my own self into the theme of what would it be like to wake up with him still alive that day instead of waking up to find he had passed while I slept. In the end that’s what I made the song about – what if we just went to bed that night and woke up to another day instead? – Rena Kozak of Child Actress on “Just Fine Never Better”

[roccinan]

"He looks good in every situation from every angle, and is somehow always the most dominant person in the room even when naked and muzzled in a horny cage" EXACTLY LOL, the actor was born to play a vampire. His whole aura in every scene is simply perfect.

I keep rewatching that scene whenever I need a laugh, "I only let him win because he was my jUniOr... he must be looking at me from some dark corner now, mocking me" and Situ just standing right next to him XDDD But seriously, I loved the brothers backstory too! I think I know most of it by now, only 4 eps to go unless there's another reveal in the finale. And you were so right about the Andrés-Sergio age gap thing, and I also love that Shen Zhiheng is helping in his crazy plans (even going to prison again!) just for his lil bro's happiness :') Sure hope nothing bad happens to them. It's also very cute that the second the truth was out he keeps calling him "dage" <3 (and does Shen Zhiheng call him the equivalent of little brother? or is he only saying brother in general? the captions aren't too clear)

I did get to the part with Mr Mo and I didn't know that! never going to see him the same way now LMAO. I'm also kinda dreading finishing the show, I don't want it to end lol, I've grown attached!

Hard AGREE. He was perfect as a vampire, can't think of anyone else who'd fit the role so perfectly. It's not about the looks or the acting, it's about the #aura.

I've actually seen him in another drama before, but I didn't care too much about him. The character was pretty popular though irrc:

But he doesn't make me go ASDFASDF the way Shen Zhiheng does lol!

re: the rest: That scene lives rent free in my head, it just gets funnier and funnier over time. Shen Zhiheng was yelling for SO LONG too, just ranting in the void while Situ stands there like :) I should probably double check, but I remember in the original mandarin, the line goes, "he must be looking at me from some dark corner now, LAUGHING at me!!" XD

We sure are laughing.

Glad you liked the backstory as much as me :D The exact same age gap is insane asdasdf I had that exact same feeling when I got to the last four eps too, anon, ah. I didn't want it to end, but alas!! Fair warning: the finale is a mess, or at least the version they released was. But at least we now have each other to discuss it with :'D

SAME, I loved that so much- Shen Zhiheng acts so annoyed with him, but actually consistently loves and spoils him, and is once again going to jail with the people who swiss cheesed him twice because Situ asked him to. Andres core. The immediate switch to Dage was adorable too. I love Situ so much- he played that personality between adorable and cruel, and adorably cruel so well XD

(Shen Zhiheng usually just calls Situ by his name or a general "you" because he's the older brother, but there are some parts where he does literally refer to him as "little brother" Didi. While smiling and being very soft overall of course :D )

I didn't know that about Mr. Mo either LOL, and when I found out, I could not unsee it. I'm happy to have gotten you into this show, anon! It was a fun ride with lots of hits and misses, but enough hits to keep us strung along haha. At least we got attached to it together XD It's been a long time since I was so into the vibes of a show and this one really got my attention!

[cyfimusic]

Endangered Poets & CyFi - North Star

2022-03-24

Dedicated in loving memory of Jordan Lilgreen, the shorter half of the Endangered Poets. He would’ve been turning 32 the day this album was released.

STREAM/BUY HERE (track-by-track breakdown below)

Album photography by my friend Tom Berg. (@whitetom on Instagram)

These songs were mostly written in 2014 and 2015, when Jordan, Shane and I all went to Minneapolis Media Institute. Jordan befriended me one day in November 2014 when I was playing some of my instrumentals on the big speakers in one of the studios. I met Shane shortly after that. When they released their debut EP “Cold Front” in February 2015, we got the idea of doing a collab album together. For lack of a better metaphor, I kinda wanted to be the Ryan Lewis to their Macklemore. Some of these songs are recreations/re-recordings of stuff on their Basement Tape mixtape. The original plan in the mid-‘10s was to pump all those out first, then start writing new material to follow it up.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get much new stuff written in the (unknown to us) limited time we had left with Jordan. After he and Shane moved to Colorado, it was much harder to get all three of us in the same room regularly. (The three new songs he recorded ARE on this album!) In fact, this album likely would not exist if I hadn’t stayed in Colorado for 3 weeks on a whim in July 2018. That was when the majority of it was recorded, in Shane’s apartment.

The day I learned of Jordan’s passing, I dove into these recordings just to hear his voice again. I’m surprised I didn’t break down sobbing while polishing up these songs for release…I really fucking miss him. Maybe working on this album was part of my grieving process, I dunno. Jordan would’ve wanted us to finish North Star and release it, that’s why we’re doing so. The final song on the album is a tribute to him I started writing on my flight home from his funeral. I love you, buddy. I hope you’re able to hear this from wherever you may be.

1. The Mission

Given the title of the song, I was going for a sort of epic science fiction vibe with my instrumental...think rockets launching into outer space. Of course, the actual mission in this song is a bit more…carnal…

I actually got some of the original vocal stems from the 2014 demo, and most of the opening ad libs (including the lighter flick and coughing) are from that demo!

2. What’s Up (feat. J Knack)

This is one of three songs that were written as new material for North Star during the July 2018 recording sessions. My instrumental dates all the way back to November 2012, and aside from being mixed a little differently and chopped up in a couple spots, is largely unchanged from that version!

I see this whole album as telling an overarching story. It starts out with some friends ready to take on the world, they find love and experience heartbreak before finding their way home and pulling their trusted/close friends closer. J Knack’s verse is the only thing that breaks that chronological flow of this story arc, but that’s because he wrote his verse AFTER Jordan passed away. When Shane and I asked J Knack to feature on it, we didn’t give him any suggestions or requirements, we wanted him to just let it flow naturally no matter what.

3. Chill Here Tonight

Another recreation/re-recording of a Basement Tape demo. To me, this song feels like quintessential early Endangered Poets material: detailing their daily struggles, while also being sure to spend good time with friends. Also in this song, Shane mentions wanting to move to Colorado above any other destination, which he made happen in 2015!

4. Good Morning

In early 2019, we were looking at releasing this song as the 2nd single from North Star. Unfortunately, my computer died that March, and I didn’t get a new one up and running for 5-6 months. Then the pandemic hit, and I thought a song with more of a vibe of despair would be appropriate for fall 2020, so we went with Sold My Soul. Now that Jordan is no longer with us, his line about the urn really hits differently.

5. Valentine (released as a single on 2022-02-11)

My instrumental was started on September 1st, 2013, and was originally titled “Saving Angel” because I had very recently befriended a girl named Angie who helped me with navigating some newfound high school depression. On the night of February 13th, 2015, Jordan texted me saying that he and Shane were in the studio writing a Valentine’s Day song for their respective girlfriends, and he was wondering if I had a beat they could use. I was at a buddy’s house party out in the country that night, but I managed to upload the Saving Angel instrumental directly from my phone to Dropbox, despite the dogshit phone reception!

Jordan’s hook/chorus vocals in this final version are from February 2015. He was 24 then, which blows my mind…I was 17 then, and now I’m older than he was at that time. The verses in this final version were recorded in July 2018 during my surprise 3-week vacation to Colorado. My falsetto hook vocals were recorded early morning January 13th of 2022 at like 3am, cuz why wouldn’t I when I had work in the morning??

When I was editing the final version of song together in late 2021/early 2022, I found a vocal take of Jordan’s where he messed up while singing the hook. As we had lost him only a few months prior, I almost cried when I heard it. He was such a fun guy to be around, always making people laugh when they needed it. I thought it would be a nice little touch to put his silly lil screw-up in the outro. (At Jordan’s funeral, they actually played an early version of this song, which absolutely floored me.)

6. Any Higher

We started writing this song in early 2015 at Cool Cole’s apartment. I remember Jordan and I chilling out on the couch in the living room, he kept hitting his bong while I played an early demo of the instrumental off my phone.

The “wrong song” in the middle is a reference to our friend Wykeeta’s song “That Fire”, which we actually shot a music video for during the July 2018 North Star recording sessions! (Wykeeta is actually wrongfully incarcerated, you can learn more at freelannonb.com)

7. Sold My Soul (released as a single on 2020-10-23)

This one is another recreation/recording of a Basement Tape track. During the North Star recording sessions in July 2018, I was going through the worst heartbreak of my life, and I let my ensuing despair seep into this production. Working on this song in Shane’s apartment was very healing for me in a time where it felt like I was starting my whole life over. But in retrospect, I probably wouldn’t have spent 3 weeks in Colorado if said heartbreak had never happened, which means North Star wouldn’t exist.

8. Way Too Much (released as a single on 2018-12-14)

Yet another Basement Tape track we redid. We also shot a music video for this song on a cold December night in Denver the weekend before the song came out as a single! This is one of my favorite songs on North Star, and it was also the only song on the album to be played on the radio! (First Impressions with Chaz Kangas on the now-defunct Go 95.3 in Minneapolis.)

9. Purple Nurple

Honestly, this song is typically more likely to get me all teary-eyed than One More for Jordan, because I always visualize him somewhere up in northern Minnesota stranded on the side of a road less traveled with his flashers on. Just leaning against his car in the dark, looking up at the stars, taking it all in and not letting anything dampen his spirits. Even after death, that tends to be where I imagine him to be today, just vibing somewhere up north in the night.

This is pretty much the only CyFi song to include a melodic sample that I didn’t create myself. The Rhodes piano that is featured throughout the song is actually a sample from the original Basement Tapes demo. Jordan wasn’t sure where the original recording came from, so if anyone has any idea, I’d be more than happy to credit whoever wrote that little Rhodes melody!

10. One More for Jordan (feat. AyJay)

I’ve had this chord progression preserved in some form since literally 2010. But when Jordan passed away, and I began crafting an instrumental for the song I wanted us to dedicate to him, that chord progression was sticking in the front of my mind.

This is also the first (and likely only ever) song to feature me rapping. I thought it might be a little out of place if I was the only one not rapping on this song. The lighter flick during my verse is the same one from the beginning of The Mission.

AyJay is a friend of ours who has known Jordan since she was like 8 years old. She actually featured on one of the songs on the Poets’ “Cold Front” EP, and I knew we had to reach out to her to be a part of this one.

When North Star came out, we had a release party at Jordan’s parents’ house, during which we filmed a bunch of the attendees singing “One More for Jordan” to the camera for this music video.

The spoken sample at the end of the song is from a TikTok I made at Shane’s place the night of Jordan’s funeral. (We had been drinking, but I thought it would be really sweet to include in the song.)

Rest in peace, Jordan. We love you.

[mybrainproblems]

aaaand... adding even more to this post since some of it is a follow-up on the above, I want to keep it on the same post.

so after making the above post, @happilyfeatherafter reminded me that some of the times i remembered misha talking about returning to set were from a livestream and community texts, not from twitter.

in the livestream with michael sheen from 30 july 2020, he talks about taking cas' coat from set bc he wasn't sure if they'd be going back (gif set here) [disclaimer that i've only skipped around through that livestream and not watched it start to finish in its entirety.]

also, the 15x20 script was way sketchier than i remembered and @lets-steal-an-archive made a post about it back when it was being auctioned about why they wouldn't be bidding on it that goes into more detail. and yeah. with the additional context (and some x files script pics they sent for comparison), that script is super sketchy. i'm not about to waste the printer ink to sit down with a copy and do a read-along with an 11th watch of the finale, but it doesn't inspire confidence no matter how close it is to the final product.

also, the seller had the benefit of listing it post-finale airing but two months prior to the s15 DVD releasing with deleted scenes so... idk. this is super outside my wheelhouse so i won't spec further. the script is just really sketchily sourced and iirc the bidder got a refund since the seller then offered PDF scan versions for very cheap to others who asked... none of which inspires confidence.

further shenanigans from the past few days' life ruining research! not calling any of this a smoking gun, but based on the tumblr source time stamps; it looks like misha sent out the below pics as community texts post-finale but the pics themselves were taken during 15x18 filming - if anyone has the actual time stamps i'd love to know! even after half a day of searching, i couldn't find versions with a time stamp on them. in both cases, they seem to indicate that he knew this was his last day or last episode filming for the show. (he's also mentioned that they threw him a good bye party after 15x18 and idk why you'd do that if you intended for the actor to come back.)

(left pic source) (middle & right pic source)

whenever misha has talked about being in the finale, it's been in reference to an "original" pre-COVID version of the script where he would be jimmy novak and not cas. but given that 15x18 wrapped before shutdown, my guess is that it had already been settled that he wouldn't be in the finale. so yes this would have been a "pre-COVID" script, but probably not the prod draft script from march 2020.

(and having spoken with ppl who were already in the fandom when s15 started airing/looking at posts from fall 2020/pre-15x18... a good chunk of ppl didn't expect misha to be in the last two eps when it started airing again)

i would also like to note that when talking about "pre-COVID" scripts from s15... that could be anywhere from may/june 2019 to march 2020 when set shut down, which @swordofsun and I went back and forth on a bit discussing here wrt revisions of 15x20.

and i'm loathe to bring it up without a source, but i know there was something floating around about misha(?) saying in a m&g at the las vegas con in march 2020 that the finale script was still going through a lot of revisions. so at that point, a kinda short window before they returned to set to finish 15x19 and 15x20. iirc there was a tweet about it that has since been deleted but i tend to take m&g stuff with a grain of salt.

point being - the 15x20 script is way sketchier than i remembered and there's more actual evidence that misha wasn't intended to be in the finale from before set shut down (and the "misha filmed but was cut" conspiracy continues to be my personal bugbear)

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[slavghoul]

Big news for Ghost this week, with the release of their brand new EP of covers, Phantomime, this Friday May 19th, and two days later, the launch of an eight-date French tour. Frontman Tobias Forge tells us more about the creation of this record, as well as his future projects and the few unforeseen events that have come his way...

I guess you must be very busy with the promotion of Ghost these last few days here in Paris, but have you planned any time for yourself, like a vinyl shopping session for example?

Yes, I have, but it's really just a hobby for me: whenever I go somewhere I go to record shops, it's kind of my own relaxation. As far as promotion goes, these few days are indeed quite productive with a busy schedule, but it's actually quite nice to sit here, watching what's going on around me, at least it's more pleasant than doing a day of interviews locked up in four walls. I'm more of a stimulus kind of person, so when I have a phone call with someone I play Playstation at the same time, so I can concentrate on something while I'm talking. My whole life has always been a bit like that, listening to a record at home with the TV on.

You're releasing an EP of five covers on which you cover Television, The Stranglers, Genesis, Iron Maiden and even Tina Turner. How do you choose the songs for the covers on your EPs? Are they songs that meant a lot to you, that you listened to a lot when you were young, or are you looking for lyrics or a theme corresponding to the Ghost universe with references to religion for example?

It's a little bit of all of that at the same time! But the main criterion, what counts the most for me, is really the lyrics. From the rhymes used to the existential, philosophical or biblical themes. Of course, we could have fun covering "Disco Inferno" and try to put our own spin on it, but I think we need to be able to add a little something to it. I actually like to take songs that are written in a different way to my own, so I'm always trying to find songs that I couldn't have written myself. If I opened a restaurant tomorrow, I would have to find different dishes to enrich and diversify my menu. It's also a way for me to learn, to experiment. Besides, the exercise of reworking is always interesting, and sometimes it works, other times it doesn't.

Does this mean that you have considered other covers than these five titles?

Yes, I did. And the covers that didn't work just don't appear on this record! My original idea was to do a whole album of covers. And I had to take half of the songs off, because five of them didn't really fit with what we wanted to do with them, or they didn't sound like they were finished.

For example, I recorded a Rush track, but I felt I wasn't adding anything to the song. Not to say that other bands are flawed, but I just think that Rush's music is too perfect. There is nothing to improve, nothing to emphasize or accentuate, no nuance to add this or that contrast to. I felt like I was playing Rush just like a lot of teenage boys do, and nothing more. I'm not implying that girls don't like Rush, of course, but you know, there's that old joke that Rush is a teenage boys band. In any case, I felt that my version was going to be a bit too redundant to the original song.

Then there were other songs that made it to the quarter finals, if I may say so [laughs], that we dropped because there was too much to improve on, or the overall quality was not good. I can have a really good idea on paper, and then listen to the piece and think it doesn't work very well, or it's not entertaining enough.

How did the recording of the EP go?

The demos of all these covers were made at the same time as the recording of Impera. The producer of the album told us that he didn't want to deal with covers. That's fine, and it's true that it doesn't pay to do covers. We had just come out of the Impera recording session and we were exhausted. It was very hard, after all it's often said that the fifth album is particularly difficult. We had quite a lot of ambitions for this record, it took a lot of time and energy, and when it was finished, my engineer Martin and I went back to the studio, with the idea of recording another album.

But once we'd recorded those demos, I realised that there were some things that weren't quite right and that we had to take out. We kept those five songs. Five rock songs, full stop. Keeping things simple, easy, and even for the recording: it was good to remember that not everything is as difficult as the album we just finished. This EP is ultimately something spontaneous, simple, and having the demos already made it easier for us. Anyway, I had a lot of fun making it, from the recording to the mix, the atmosphere was quite happy.

You can feel this on the EP, this lightness and a feeling of fluidity. Without it being too basic, because there is a serious work on the arrangements and the atmospheres, which sound very Ghost by the way.

I'm glad to hear that, because that's exactly what I was looking for: to convey that lightness without the final product sounding half-baked, if I can say that! What I mean is that when you go into the studio for an album, you're 110%, whereas for an EP, with only covers, it's normal to be 100%. But I didn't want the difference to be felt between the two, like between the first Star Wars and the 1978 Star Wars Christmas Special! [Laughs]

It's been a year to the day since the Impera album was released. How do you look back on this fifth album, which marked a turning point in Ghost's rise?

In a way I feel relief, because this album has fulfilled its mission, the one it was supposed to fulfill. I don't want to fool the fans into thinking that it's all about magic and believing in it and so on. You have to be pragmatic and think about the results you got with the album. Of course, with every new album you are convinced that it is the best, but after the release you have to see what it does on stage. It's only by seeing how well that performance worked that you can tell if that album is good or not, in the end. Today, one year after the release, I can say that Impera holds up well. What has distorted our perception a little bit is what happened on the side.

You mean what happened with "Mary On A Cross", a track released on a 2-track EP in 2019 but which went viral last year on TikTok?

Yeah, when it came out, it kind of messed up our album cycle. It wasn't a problem per se, but it's just that we didn't plan for it at all, it kind of got in the way. And the label panicked and said "What are we going to do?!" I told them we weren't going to do anything. It was already out of our control, already naturally present on TikTok, what could we do? As we didn't want to damage the Impera promo, but we didn't want to lose the song "Mary On A Cross" either, we did the bare minimum, but our priority was really to get back to what we wanted to do as soon as possible at that point, which was to focus on our Impera. And then, from a pragmatic and slightly cynical point of view, we didn't want our historical fans to think that we were going to stop everything to please these newcomers who discovered the band via TikTok.

As far as Impera is concerned, I only realised today that it was an anniversary. Looking back, I can see that the cycle that started with this album, from its release to the tours, has been one of the most important in the history of Ghost, and that's really great. Now we're preparing for the next tour, which will start at your place [the Re-Imperatour kicks off this Sunday, May 21st in Rouen], and there are future projects that we're trying to work on. It's been a year since the record came out, but really it's been two years since the recording, and now it's time to move on to the next thing... things will start moving in the autumn, I hope.

Are you talking about the sixth Ghost album?

Yes, that famous sixth album, as difficult to make as the fifth! I've already started working on it, and after the tours this year it will be time to go into the studio for that.

So for me, the goal is to manage all these things at the same time without losing sight of these goals and next steps. So of course I'm happy that there are lots of new fans coming through TikTok. And I also welcome those who don't like the TikTok track but discover the rest of our discography and join us. But the most important thing is really to stay on our trajectory, and not to stray from the path we've set for ourselves. We have to make sure that we don't forget our mission, just because someone says they like fucking gnocchi better when we serve sushi. [Laughs]

What you're saying here is a bit like what you were telling us earlier, when you were talking about your care in planning things and having a vision for the band.

Exactly, it's very important for me. Being an artist is not just about aesthetics, it's about many other things. I've always been interested in the holistic approach, in this more global vision of things. To use the image of the restaurant business that I used earlier: I like to cook, but I also like books, people, interior design. In fact it's a collection of many things, and they're all important, almost in equal measure. Some rock or pop artists, or even actors, have been able to break through almost by accident, but that's not usually how it works. You have to work a lot, but above all you have to make a lot of decisions yourself, otherwise others will make them for you, and it will be done in an unthinking way, without a long term vision. It's impossible for me, as a control freak, to consider that! [Laughs]

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Monday, February 27th

XANDER: You said it yourself, Will ... the magic's too strong, there's no coming back from it. WILLOW: I'm not coming back.

~~Villains~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

the farthest thing from a monster (Buffy/Faith, T) by thatnerdemryn

[Brazilian Portuguese] you are the bad girl I always dreamed of (Buffy/Faith, G) by odd__girl

[Chaptered Fiction]

Not Back to the Future Rules Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Lady Emma

Origins Chapter 35 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Niamh

Sculpture of Dance Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Desicat

The Office Hellmouth Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Willow25

It's Easy Time, Until It's Not Chapter 20 (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only) by hulettwyo

who could ever leave me, darling—but who could stay? (you could stay) Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by MillenialCryBaby

Bleeding Poetry Chapter 71 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

Drowning Chapter 1 (Buffy/Tara, T) by BeatriceEveryTuesday

The Suite Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by hulettwyo

Unmasking Chapter 1 (Cordelia/Anya, T) by BeatriceEveryTuesday

[Image, Audio & Video]

Art : Buffy x Faith drawing by gendergeezer

PODCAST : Flooded S6 E4 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) by lisalilly

[Fandom Discussions]

I don’t understand the discourse that Buffy didn’t try hard enough with Riley by zalrb

imagine sleeping on restless by norakovacst

Buffy’s Arsenal: Your Wishes and Wants? by Plasma

Did anyone think Riley was more interesting this season? by Benz

"Can I have you?" by Joan the Vampire Slayer

Walsh's Choice to Kill Buffy: Smart or Stupid? by BuffyNvrForgets

Riley lights up Season 4 by telperion66

Giles' house as Scooby HQ by telperion66

Q&A with fanfic writer Chelle on Saturday 25th of February 2023! by flow

Buffy The Last Vampire Slayer Special #1 by BAF

Is there a reason Boom is no longer released Angel comic? by Guywhoknownothing

Reacting to Reactions! - BtVS Season 4 by Stoney

my buffy reboot idea by PhotojournalistGold6

Conversation between Kate and her Dad in 1.15 “The Prodigal” by AccordingReference3

Xander-centric Episodes by MatchingMyDog1106

22 years ago Willow & Tara shared the first kiss between 2 women in a commited long-term relationship by InfiniteMehdiLove

Favorite plot holes that you have found! by gabbymay1111

Thoughts and opinions after first watch through of BTVS by im_calig

Buffy's TV Canon Returns in New Special THE LOST SUMMER by jellymoff

Why does Giles sometimes omit the word "that"? by Tuxedo_Mark

Dead Man's Party captured the impact of mental illness pretty well by Diligent_Flamingo_33

Who's going to be next? by 312Michelle

Anya if she was gay by Ajacentmagic

Took me almost a year but I finally finished Buffy by LuckyRadiation

Where Do You Watch it? by screedvachon

Imagine if in an AU version of Five by Five.... by LightBlueSky55

s1 e9, Sid the dummy talks about the Korean slayer back in the 30s that he knew by Boring_Door3942

The official trailer for one of my favorite Buffy games... by 312Michelle

Imagine if in an AU version of Five by Five.... by LightBlueSky55

Are vampires stronger when they vamp out and show their face? by wtffu006

tell me you're a BTVS fan without telling me you're a BTVS fan? by spuffy4life

Fred by mushabo0om

Angel S5 ep 12: husband reaction by gabbymay1111

Drastic Buffy reboot changes by anonperson3210

Still one of the best character developments I've seen on any show by Defvac2

Crack Ships Whedonverse Style Part One by Captainoats88

What's your favorite Spike quote? by bethwatt01-t

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Join the editor team :)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.