#the way you can see matt smiling in the back when miles points to alex singing something beautiful... he knows

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

we just gonna ignore the cheeky waist grab hmm?? im not okay... they make it so obvious-

Arctic Monkeys & Miles Kane - Little Illusion Machine (Live in Melbourne) - [x]

[slothgiirl]

the trash pile: alex turner x reader

The cybernetic augmentation juts out from her temple, leading down to her chin, the metal a dull grey. Nothing says belter more than slap job augmentations, Alex thinks as she smiles at him, reaching out with her hand to him.

He takes it.

She's pretty from what he can see from the dim yellow lights in the club. The augmentation somehow complementing her already well formed cheekbones. A mess of bleached blonde hair falling down her shoulders.

And she's already offered, dragging him out onto the floor shamelessly. He'd rather dance with a beautiful woman than stand around drinking and having to listen to all his friends talk about people, things, he's unfamiliar with.

They've moved on.

The floor flashes bright blue to the beat of the music. Too loud to carry a conversation. Too loud to think. Alex can finally stop overthinking, what he's done since he landed on Tranquility base six hours ago.

Her touch is solid and confident, hands on his shoulders as she laughs, one hundred percent in the moment. He doesn't think he's ever been like that. Her ease is as natural as Alexa's charm.

His gaze flickers back to the table they'd been sharing, but they've dispersed into the club. He can't see a trace of any of his friends. Matt had long since left, having a ceremony to wake up for. "Tomorrow," he'd grinned, promising a night of debauchery.

"Hey," Taylor calls into his ear, bringing his attention back to her, blue eyes like the sky back on earth. None of the gaudy recreations of sky broadcasted through the colonies. Mars was said to not even bother, letting it's people grow up with an orange sky.

She smiles, tilting her head, before leaning in.

And wow, Alex really has been alone for too long, as her lips on his send his heart beat into a frenzy. Blood rushing in his ears like a teenage boy all over again. It isn't real, but he thinks in that second he loves her.

Alex always has been a romantic.

They leave the club together. The corridors are still red for the night. The one thing he hadn't missed. Even Ceres had better artificial lighting mods.

"I've got to go to work," Taylor tells him bluntly, "but you should give me your number. I think we could have a lot of fun together." She looks at him with hopeful eyes, biting her lower lip. He wants to kiss her again.

But, he'll be gone the day after tomorrow. The entire base holds too many ghosts for him to feel entirely comfortable. It makes him keep looking over his shoulder, expecting Josh or Julian. Two people he's long since lost touch with.

"I'm actually not staying that long," he admits as she leads them through the corridors. Alex can still recognize the alcoves he and Matt would take smoke breaks in. Which turn would lead them back to the lifts. Another life.

"That's a shame."

He chuckles. Before his mind catches up with his tongue, "wait, did you say you're going to work now?"

"Yeah. Its so fucking boring," Taylor says, stopping besides the lifts. "Coms graveyard shift." She rolls her eyes.

"I don't blame ya," he admits. Alexa had worked the coms. She'd always complained about having to go thirty seven floors below, bundled up in jackets. Since it was less populated, the government enacted more energy saving features.

"Maybe we'll see each other again in the drift," she grins suggestively, right as she steps into the lift.

Alex watches the doors closed, before he turns around, deciding to go find an open store. He could go for some more coffee while he's here. Maybe even stock up on it. It shouldn't be hard. The Base wasn't a residential area. Tourists were coming and going as well as SFN members.

There was the launchpad.

He lets himself wander. Too buzzed to be as tired despite the early call time he has in the morning. It would be just his luck to miss Matt's big promotion because he'd overslept after having traveled a month to be here.

It's not hard to find an open bodega. The open sign flashing green in the dim of the night.

Maybe he should've gotten the night vision implants after all. Miles never shut up about it. How easy it was to make his way about different colonies even during night cycles. And you could only tell if you were looking for the little silver ring around the iris.

Alex slips inside, making a bee line for the food. It's been hours since he last ate. At this point a cup of noodles and instant coffee sound like a dream. He gets the little powdered donuts as well. Then goes for the liquid milk creamer.

Who knows when he'll next have that option. No one had yet to figure out how to increase cows milk production in space. And powdered never tasted the same.

He looks at the fruit. Incredibly overpriced since it's a bodega. But apples and oranges. . .Alex could still remember the taste of fresh squeezed orange juice his mother would make. She'd cut them all open, let him squeeze the juice out before sucking on the pulp.

Alex grabs the smallest oranges.

There's no reason not to splurge. He has the money for it. And work is never hard to come by with his skill set. There's a large market for the skills SFN ensigns have, but most of those ensigns just stay with the navy.

He turns to go pay for his small haul, but the sight of a woman staring out of a faux porthole stops him in his tracks.

Her profile could not hide how beautiful she was, her gaze caught by the live feed of the earth on the other side of the moon. Romantic dark eyes gazing into the side of the bodega, her questionable egg salad sandwich forgotten in her hand. The bump in her prominent nose only served to make her profile more striking.

"That's not actually the earth," Alex starts gently, catching her attention. "Ya know." She turns to him, trying to hide the fact that she'd jumped, startled by his presence. And doing a damn good job at brushing off the surprise.

He was right. She's beautiful. Well formed full lips. Her dark hair tucked a braid, looking better in trousers and patched up hoodie than most people could dressed to the nines. Her shoes stick out from the casual ensemble, patent red leather with a split toe. There's the hint of dark circles under her eyes, probably from a missed nights sleep.

And a scattering of light scars like stars by her left cheekbone.

"I know," she responds, "I just never thought I'd ever be this close to the earth."

"You could take a trip to the other side and see the real thing," he muses, unable to hide the longing in his voice. Alex knew in his bones he'd never step foot on earth again. Never walk the streets in Sheffield or London again. But he couldn't help but wish for a miracle.

She shakes her head, the warmth in her eyes receding as she closes herself off. "Can't. Have to meet with a friend and then go back."

"Must be a good friend if you've come all this way."

She shrugs noncommittally, "He's more of an acquaintance of a friend. I've never actually met the man. But things being as they are," she explains, "it's best done in person."

Alex is now intrigued, a red flag raised in the back of his mind that still flies away information happening in the corner of his eye just in case. It makes him a damn good private investigator. "Mysterious."

"Forgive me for not spilling all my secrets to a stranger," she notes, arching a brow.

He can't help but chuckle. "Ya got me there love. Let's try something else."

"Like what," she asks, the corners of his lips turning up.

"How are you finding our moon?" The moon might not think it was the earth's, and the government sure wasn't, but the moon still spun around the earth the way it had for millions of years.

"Disappointing," she admits, frowning, "Ceres is livelier. And would it kill them to use brighter lighting?"

"Austerity measures," Alex shrugs. It had been the answer for as long as he'd been alive.

"From what," she asks, tilting her head, a smirk forming on her lips, "there's no war or reason for shortages."

"Just repeating the party line," he admits.

"Well," she raises her sandwich like a sad little white flag, "I've got to get going. It was nice meeting you."

"Can I get your number?"

Surprising him, she shakes her head, "No. I doubt we'll ever meet again. I don't plan to stay on the moon for long."

"Lucky for you," he counters, following her to the sales woman, built like a rugby player, "I'm not from the moon. So there's hope yet for our paths to cross."

She snorts, digging around her pockets for money, slowly building up a pile of change to pay with. "Let me guess," she says knowingly, as her eyes look him over, taking in his hair now curling past his ears, the navy blue sweater and white shirt combo that had felt smart earlier but had wrinkled in the course of the night. "you're from earth."

Alex answers bashfully, "born there." He always felt like apologizing for having been born on Earth. For having spent his childhood breathing in air without a care. For not knowing how precious an atmosphere was.

"Well I don't plan to go to earth," she trails off, waving her receipt away.

"Neither do I." He hands the lady a bill too large for what he's bought and follows her out the door, not bothering for his change. "But I take it there's no way I can convince you to give me a number?"

"None."

"How about a name," he offers. Alex had not seen one person that he'd bothered to chase in years. And here she was, indulging him as though he was a stray puppy she had fed once and now followed her around in hopes of more scraps.

"Yours first," she snipes back, not missing a beat.

"Alex." He doesn't ever bring up his last name. Too much weight. A famous family. And an infamous past. Being just Alex was a luxury.

"Tisiphone."

A name fitting for someone born in the jovian system. Maybe even Dione. But Dione, while a newer colony, wasn't bloody awful for someone to want to leave. It had to be-"Titian," he guesses. The wild west of space. SFN cadets hated getting assigned there. Johanna had said the worst part was the perpetual twilight.

Too many crevices to hide in.

"Yes," she responds, "and hopefully never again."

"If we ever meet again," the romantic in him already imagining them crossing paths in a Callisto settlement, planting trees for the rest of their lives and learning to work wood, "can I take you out for a cuppa?"

Tisiphone laughs, smiling tight lipped, "If it happens then I'll say yes earth boy."

** ** ch 2

The ceremony drags on.

They all sit, gathered around the Kennedy Hab, the first large permanent building on the dark side of the moon. The benches are as uncomfortable as ever, as Alex gazes down at a sea of navy uniforms all with various ranks on their right shoulders. He's seated right next to Alexa. The boys down there somewhere with Matt.

It's an SFN event so Alex's paranoia is right for once. The second glances the captains and commanders threw his way were knowing. They recognized him.

It sets his teeth on edge.

Alexa pats his knee, comfortable around him despite their shared history. Johanna besides him with her fiancé. They both keep glancing at each other, infinite in their whispering. He wants that.

"I'll throw hands at anyone who says anything," Alexa reassured him. Looking especially nice in a long red dress. She's not single. But it clearly isn't serious enough if she didn't bring him along to celebrate her friends.

"That would make it worse," Alex responds, keeping his gaze forward, careful to keep his face neutral. It usually wasn't a problem. That being his default expression. But this was bringing up events from his past he's long since buried.

"Derek was supposed to be here," Alexa says to try to distract him, "you would've liked him. Life of the party. Miles and him had a one night stand and now we're all friends."

"Well that's not saying much considering Miles will sleep with anything."

She laughs, "True. But even Nick gets jazzed to hang out with him and you know how hard it is to get close to Nick."

"He's just careful about who his friends are," Alex acknowledges. Unlike Nick, Alex was just terribly bad at opening up.

Nick was just picky. "That says something good about little old me." Alexa twirls her hands over her head. Sticking her nose in the air. "Not such a mess after all."

"You've never been a mess," he tells her, watching as they begin to call up all the newly minted commanders. Matt shouldn't take long. H being closer to the front of the alphabet.

"Yeah but I've never been particularly good at anything but charming my way into things," she shrugs shamelessly. Alexa wasn't the type to lose sleep over her insecurities.

The Admiral present at the ceremony, Marcus Kapoor, speaks clearly over the microphone, "Commander Matthew Helders."

Alexa and Johanna both stand up, yelling, "congrats!" Alex claps as loud as he can for a beat longer than the rest of the room as Matt shakes hands with the Admiral.

Alex remembers his own ceremony seven years ago now. It had been a smaller affair. His entire career accelerated by his talent.

He swallows back the bitter lump that forms in his throat. There's no reason to cry over spilled milk, his father had often told him back on earth.

Try telling that to anyone who doesn't live on earth: most milk is powdered in space.

He finally lets his eyes search through the crowd, trying to spy the man who'd once been his great mentor and friend. But if Julian is present, Alex doesn't see him among the uniforms. He's sure that he'd know Julian anywhere. His hair perpetually sticking out wildly like he'd just woken from a nap, streaks of color running through.

It was a welcome sight from the mandated navy and neutral colors the SFN preferred. Everything was done to keep the SFN neutral, trying to avoid any conflicts between the colonies. And especially between Mars and Earth.

Unable to wait, Alex asks Alexa, "did Julian come?" Julian and Matt had never been as close as Alex had been to the older man, one of the rare people to turn down a promotion. But Alex thinks Julian still would've come and cheered Matt on.

Drinking at bars until morning talking about life and chatting about their mutual obsession with vintage terran music cemented friendship like nothing else.

She frowns, lines forming between her brows. "Captain Casablancas?"

"Yeah," Alex nods, a nervousness creeping into the lining of his stomach. Julian had also been the only person present during the incident that had chosen not to testify. If he had, Alex had agonized long hours over that large IF, he'd probably have been given a far harsher sentence.

And it looked like the man had finally accepted the rank of Captain.

Alexa places her hand on his arm, doe eyes settling on his, before gently attempting to break the news, which given what she was saying, was impossible to break gently. "You haven't heard?"

"No."

"Julian's dead Alex," Alexa explains, her hand anchoring him to reality, even as his world lurches, "some accident with a faulty seal."

Fuck.

What the bloody hell!

Alex clenches his jaw. Julian deserved more than dying in a preventable accident. He was, and remained the only person to have jumped tracks at the SFN, going from maintenance to exploration.

"I'm sorry," she tries, patting his arm with her hand. "I know you two were close. This is sort of the worst way to hear the news isn't it?"

"How long ago," Alex asks in lieu of responding to her. Julian. Alex could hardly call him a friend anymore.

By the time he'd worked up the courage to message the man, Julian hadn't bothered responding at all. A cold message that Alex could understand.

He hadn't tried to contact him again.

"Three weeks."

Alex nods, fixing his gaze on the stage. The names being spoken, called up on stage, meaningless now that Matt had gone.

He'd been traveling to the Base.

No one had bothered to tell him.

They make their way down to Matt, navigating the crowd who are also here to celebrate their relatives and friends. Alexa led the way, cutting through the crowd like a knife through butter.

Jo and her fiancé hold hands. His eyes never leave her form as she leads on.

Alex frowns.

He'd thought. . .he'd thought, when Matt had first met him upon arrival at the base's landing pad, that he could slide back into his old life. Pick up where he'd left off. Maybe get a job here permanently.

Alex hadn't realized how lonely he'd been until he'd sat around and watched all his friends eat and drink. Easily communicating with each other they way only tightly knit groups of friends could. Finishing each other's sentences.

They had once been like that with Alex. But years in between meetings left him out of the loop. It didn't help that he had chosen to self isolate. Choosing to take jobs that left him without a permanent home, spending his free time tucked into various hotel rooms.

"Alexander Turner," a voice calls out.

He turns, faced with a black woman in a sleek khaki green suit, a moon police officer uniform. Her hair is as sleek as the press of her suit. Dark curls dusted with grey hairs.

"Yes," he asks, halting with great hesitation. The last time he'd dealt with the moon police, they were ensuring he was under house arrest during his trial. For his safety they'd told him over and over.

"I'm Major Gabriela Moss," she tells him, sticking her hand out with great formality. "If you'd please come with me," she continues, as he shakes her hand. "There's a job I'd like to discuss with you."

Swallowing any nervousness he has, he nods. How bad could it be? Probably some white collar crime that the police don't want to deal with. Alex could stock up on lots of coffee with the money. "Lead the way."

She takes him to the precinct, located next to the base. Tranquility Base fell under SFN jurisdiction. But the residential areas ringing the building were left to the MP 505 precinct.

Her office is just like every other police office. Bright disorienting lights. Cream walls, with no decor. A desk bolted down to the floor, in case the artificial gravity malfunctions. And a photo of her wife and kids tilted just out of his view.

"What's the job?" Alex wonders if some idiot tried to rob the casino that was right within the base’s building. Trying to steal from SFN was asking for it.

"A man was found murdered in residential bloc 571 this morning," she explains, lighting up her monitor. A photo of an older man with a walrus mustache came up on the screen.

"Isn't homicide your department," Alex asks, twisting his ring around his finger.

"Usually," Major Moss admits, back straight, hands on the desk. "But this man had a false identification bracelet. According to our records he was born on the Moon. But when my officers requested his file from the Bloc listed, nothing appeared."

"You think he was hiding?" Only criminals bothered to falsify ID bands. But why the moon? He could see why a fugitive from the law or a crime boss would come to the moon, but to stay here this long?

Even earth was easier to get lost in, among billions.

"Yes," she surmises, "and for quite a few months. How he's gone undetected this long is a mystery."

"So you'd like to save your skin and sweep this all under the cover." Alex can see a coverup as it happens. The MPs would be humiliated at having let a fugitive run wild for this long.

But, he probably wasn't a criminal if he spent this long without so much as a word. Probably fleeing loan sharks back on some asteroid. Maybe from Titan.

The murder must have landed yesterday. Within the week at most.

"Will you take the job on," Major Moss asks, "there's more information I have if you agree to take on the case."

Alex sighs. He's intrigued. But taking on this case would mean spending more time on the moon which is both a good and bad thing. He hasn't had a proper chat with any of the lads since he last saw Matt on Vesta nearly two years ago now.

But he isn't exactly at ease this close to SFN. At least in the belt, there's lots of stations with little to no navy presence. Callisto's base was generally isolated from the rest of the population due to the way in which the colony on Callisto had developed.

A man's dead.

And from what he can tell, Major Moss would be more than happy for the case to go cold and never have to explain to her superiors how a man went undetected for so long.

But why bother?

Alex can't understand why the man needed to falsify his identity only to sit around. Unless he wasn't a criminal but innocently caught up with the wrong crowd.

It happened easily enough.

"Why me," Alex asked, still considering how suspicious it looked that the MP were giving away a case just because of the implications the man's murder had. The IDB read Sidney Trojan which made Alex laugh a little inside. Whoever had made the ID had a certain sense of humor. "I'm sure you've read my record by now."

Major Moss nods, leaning back in her metal chair, "Mutiny and treason are certainly high charges. But Mr. Turner, If I am being frank, I am more concerned right now with keeping the peace in my precinct. The last thing I want is any belter extremist to start making baseless accusations about how someone who is more than likely one of their own was treated."

"I'm not a belter." Alex had spent enough time among belters to know, no matter how much time he spent on Vesta or Pallas, he'd never be one of them. Being born and raised there was what made you a belter for the rest of your life. Johanna never bothered to hide the augments along her spine, jutting out like filled out ports. Held her chin up proudly despite the harassment she got, and proceeded to destroy them all in combat training.

"But you have spent time among them," the woman argues, revealing how little she knows and understands about belters. Major Moss had probably never left the moon. Never spent time amongst people in the belt, in the places the SFN never went. "My men are mostly from here or earth. You're my best option."

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. It didn't seem like a trap to lock him up after all these years. Just a very ignorant MP major trying to do her job. "Alright," Alex nods. "Show me the surveillance tapes."

The older woman smiles, but no warmth reaches her eyes, a picture of cold professionalism, as she ignites the screen. The tapes start playing almost immediately. The night vision casting everything into grayscale in the corridors. The older residential buildings hadn't anticipated the amount of people that would live on the moon, the walkways connected the blocs only fitting three people at a time, a nightmare in an emergency. They were colorless concrete slabs, the metal having long gone dull.

Time stamped to 05:46 am.

A single figure appears, walking into bloc 571, looking like any person would after a long shift. In jeans and a loose hoodie, holding a very sad convenience store sandwich. A profile he wouldn't soon forget, complete with split toe boots.

Tisiphone.

Alex tries to justify her appearance. The death hadn't happened until 7 am. She must've been meeting her friend in one of the habs in the bloc. But he'd never been one to discount a coincidence.

It seemed that they would be having a chat sooner than anticipated under less than favorable circumstances. He just had to track her down.

His eyes watch the screen as the time ticks by, creeping closer to the time of death.

She claimed to be here to visit a friend which could very easily have been a lie to cover up meeting her potential victim. Tisiphone hadn't been here for very long, no one would willingly choose to eat convenience store sandwiches if they'd spent time here to get other food. Alex wasn't discounting the possibility of her commitment to looking inconspicuous at 5 in the morning, but then, if Sidney Trojan had feared for his life there would've been a struggle.

Someone would have heard in those older habs.

The time stamp reads 6:24am.

Tisiphone leaves the bloc, taking the passageway leading back to Tranquility. Mr Trojan would still be alive. Did she have an accomplice? Or is Alex making the wrong connection.

The time stamp reads 7:46 am. Mr Trojan would've been dead by now.

7 am was hardly the time for a murder to be committed. People going to work. So many witnesses. They must have been desperate. But the tapes proved useless to narrow down any suspects. Too many people, a perfect crowd to hide in. So there was that advantage. As well as, "I need all the records of the passenger manifests arriving for the last three days on the dark side of the moon and today's departures."

"Alright," she replies, holding out her hand.

Alex hands over his com. Letting her synch it up to her system and sending the files over.

"Good luck Mr. Turner."

This time, Alex does roll his eyes as he leaves her office.

Tisiphone had claimed to be from Titan, so that's the first thing he checks. Three days sound about right. He also highlights any belter arrivals. But apart from one family two days before, no one has come from the belt.

He finds the name he's looking for. Tisiphone Velazques, arriving from Hygiea the same night he had. Born on Titian twenty two years ago according to her IDB. It said a lot about how pathetic Alex was that he was currently finding a potential date on a suspect list.

She might still be innocent. But she was the only lead.

If she's a criminal, she'll be staying off grid, not wanting to leave her IDB just anywhere. But, being through, Alex checks Tranquility Hotel anyways, sending a message.

Want to surprise my girlfriend T. Velazques. It's our anniversary and I got back from a trip into Tethys four sols early. Has she checked in yet?

People were really stupid and easily fooled. Alex had learned that in the last few years.

Then he checks his messages. Twenty seven texts from his friends. Two missed calls from Matt. Shit. He'd forgotten all about Matt.

** *** ch 3

Matt clasps an arm over his shoulders, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything about Julian. I thought you knew and didn't want to talk about it."

Alex considers coming clean, but decides letting Matt think this is about Julian is easier. "No one tells me anything anymore."

The taller man sighs, "you must think I'm a wanker for not even telling you. Julian always asked me how you were doing you know."

Alex shakes his head. "I tried-It doesn't matter anymore. I just think it's bloody awful to have died so young in an accident of all things."

"The idiot engineers better have been court martialed," Matt comments, as they follow behind their friends to a bar in the casino. They've all been casting looks towards Alex when they think he's not looking, like he's a bomb about to go off.

Things can never go back to the way they were.

They get a few pitchers of beer. Singing Matts praises at every sip, taking the piss about how he's going to be the worst commander ever. Alexa's boyfriend, looking tall, dark and handsome, slips into the conversation with ease while Alex, drinks and checks his phone for a response.

"Alexa's boy toy," Johanna mutters under her breath to Alex. "Does the books for one of the gambling halls."

Alex nods. But finds he doesn't care. All that earlier anxiety about his leftover feelings for Alexa, his first love, gone when he realizes there's no sting as she turns to kiss her boyfriend.

He looks down at his com, refusing a refill of beer when he realizes the hotel's written him back. With a digital key and their congratulations. There goes the supposed privacy and protections hotels were supposed to offer their clients.

But this meant he was now leaning to Tisiphone being innocent. But he could tell she was connected to Mr. Trojan somehow. A gut feeling that t9ld him he was barking up the right tree. She might be able to tell him who would want the old man dead and why.

Alex excuses himself from the celebration, pointedly ignoring Nick's suspicious gaze as he leaves.

He stops and picks up a bottle of wine and a quart of strawberries, each the size of his smallest nail with a hint of red at the tip, just in case anyone in the hotel decides to verify any of his information. He can play the part.

Alex presses the elevator up to floor 10, brings up the key on his com, when the machine asks for verification.

The doors slide shut and Alex tries to formulate a plan.

He can't frighten his only suspect-link to the crime. A man was murdered and if he doesn't solve it, justice will never be served. It's his good conscience that's going to get him in trouble all over again.

The hallway is empty.

A tacky red coat of paint that's made worse by the orange lighting. The crimson hue edging towards black. Hardly a happy atmosphere.

Alex runs his hand over the rail, a vestige from the days before antigravity, as he makes his way to room 1004.

Unlike the lobby, the floor is still metal plates welded together. Shiny compared to the rest of the place.

The casino had seen better days.

And more occupied days.

Hesitating outside the door, he places an ear near the seal, hoping that Tisiphone isn't there. It would give her the advantage if she turns out to be the murder.

Better for her to be out. Gives him a chance to look around.

He takes a deep breath and unlocks the door with the key. It slides open smoothly, revealing mustard walls and a plush navy carpet flecked with gold. There's a small bed on one side of the wall, a black backpack laying carelessly on it.

The small cabinet looks untouched, but Alex still goes through every drawer, making sure he misses nothing, peaking into the bathroom and combing the medicine cupboard.

There's a needle and dental floss. A complimentary bottle of toothbrush tabs laying in its side.

Needle and floss.

For an injury, Alex surmises. Perhaps a fresh one that Mr Trojan had managed to inflict while defending himself? It wasn't the easiest way to treat an injury, but it was the way to go if you didn't want to draw any attention.

He slips back into the small main room, and begins to go through the backpack. It looks standard issue, the fabric a vegetable leather nylon mixture that wouldn't be out of place in an SFN pack. But he doesn't recognize it from any planetary police force.

Inside there's a plasma gun with two full charges. Shrapnel in a jar. An extra shirt along with a lined jacket, also black. And a small copper data box.

He checks the jackets pockets, finding two extra IDBs. Both blank.

It's all very incriminating.

And he didn't think to bring a gun along himself.

Alex removes the charge from the plasma gun, using the pillowcase to ensure he doesn't wipe away any fingerprints, tossing both of the charges into the bottom drawer of the cabinet. And leaves the gun on top of the blanket.

Then he takes a seat and waits.

No one would leave a gun with no plans to come back and get it. Plasma guns were hard to come by. Especially for civilians on the right side of the law.

It was just his luck that the first woman he feels any connection with, ends up tied up in criminal activity.

The whoosh of a door sliding open jolts him out of his thoughts.

Alex sits up straight, deciding he looks less confrontational if he's sitting down. Besides, years of training haven't left. His body still remembers combat maneuvers. He still wakes up at 0600 and goes through basic training like clockwork.

Even when he goes back to sleep right after.

A red boot steps inside.

Tisiphone holds a brand new pair of ear pods, still in their case. The moment she spots him sitting casually in her bed, her almond eyes narrowing in suspicion. Her grip tightens on the case, before she schools her features carefully blank.

In better lighting, the scars marring her cheekbones are more prominent. Flecks of silver against honeyed skin.

"'ello again," Alex says, giving a small wave, strands of his hair falling into his eyes with the movement.

She frowns, crossing her arms defensively in front of her. "Why are you here? Who even let you in?"

"I asked nicely," he explains, "terrible hotel service if you ask me. But as for why I'm here, you wouldn't happen to know who Sidney Trojan is?"

Tisphones lips form a tight line, her stance edging dangerously close to someone expecting a fight. Weight distributed well between her legs. "He's dead isn't he. Someone killed him."

" 'fraid so," Alex nods.

"Who do you work for?" Her eyes scrutinize him, as if waiting for him to strike.

Alex raises both his hands up in the air. "No one. The MP of the precinct where Mr. Trojan lived asked me to take the case on."

She doesn't move. "Earth then? Or some secret division of the SFN?"

It was a popular belief that the SFN held a secret military division. Especially among belters and martians.

"You don't seem surprised to hear he's been murdered," Alex observes, not missing a thing, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

"Lots of people wanted him dead."

Tisiphone must have decided he wasn't a threat. She takes a step closer, waking into the bathroom and grabbing the meager supplies, tossing them into her bag, unbothered by Alex's presence right next to her. He's incredibly aware of the small distance between them as her hands make quick work of packing, ignoring the wine and fruit he'd brought: the small distance between her hands and his thigh.

But he doubts that there's a chance in hell she'll go out with him after today. She has the same determined look on her face Johanna had right as she'd punched him day 1 of hand to hand combat. A woman who doesn't take anyone's shit.

Alex snorts, "mind telling me who wanted him dead?"

"SFN. Earth. Mars. The Children of Prometheus. Park Vader's cronies back on Titan. Maybe even Park himself. Take your pick."

"Why," Alex can't help but ask, standing up as she slings her bag over her shoulder. If he lets her walk out now, he'll likely never set eyes on her again. And she has become his only connection to this man's murder.

He can't just let her go.

"He knew too much," Tisiphone shrugs.

"I can't just let you disappear," Alex tells her, sliding between her and the door. It was a dangerous position to be in. He keeps his hands up, trying to reassure her.

"Whoever killed Ivan is going to be after me too," she states, weighing her options.

"Let me help you."

She laughs humorlessly, "I'm long past help. I’ll only drag you down. And you seem like a nice enough man despite everything."

"Despite being born on earth," Alex guesses. War hadn't touched the system in a hundred years, yet there was a lot of bitterness from the colonies over earth. Over the imagined bountiful resources. The air, breathable unlike in so many other places.

He'd lived in enough places in the system to know that it was hard living in every corner of the solarium federation.

"Good bye Alex." Her dark eyes hold his gaze, waiting for Alex to step aside. He isn't sure how long her patience will last.

"If you leave the moon now," Alex threatens, "I'll have no choice but to find you suspect under the circumstances."

Tisiphone glares at him, "are you an officer? Am I under arrest?"

"No."

"Then you have no jurisdiction," she counters.

"But I was able to find you. I'm the only person who could've made that connection." Her shoes had given her away. Too distinctive for anyone trying to hide out, Alex notes. "Everyone else would've written you off. You played the part of a tired commuter perfectly. Your face isn't visible enough for facial recognition. And the timing is wrong."

"So you have to know I didn't kill him," Tisiphone observes.

"I do." Alex nods. "And I also know that you came here for a reason. I'm willing to bet it's why Ivan is dead now. Help me catch his killer and get some people off your back."

“Why do you care so much about him? He’s just another nameless belter to you people.”

He shakes his head, “because a man’s dead. He deserves justice.”

"How do I know I can trust you," Tisiphone asks, her knuckles relaxing their grip on her bag.

"I could've arrived here with the MP," Alex states, "but I'm here all on my own. Because I believe you're innocent."

She sighs. "Alright. I'll stay. But only for another twenty four hours. That's all I can give you."

He can work with that.

"Okay now let's get out of here. If I can waltz right in so can whoever killed Trojan."

"Ivan," Tisiphone corrects. "His name was Ivan Schlossberg."

"And is Tisiphone your real name," Alex asks.

She doesn't meet his eyes.

** ** ch 4

His hotel room is on the top floor. A half circle window looks out into the expanse. The grey panorama, flattened by robots, is broken up by the tops of other bloc, jutting out of the landscape like hills. The sun is the only recognizable feature in the sky. All the other stars and planets are too distant to be visible.

But Alex has the map of the system imprinted into the backs of his eyes. He could tell where earth and mars fall, navigating by stars like explorers of old, even with the slight changes that arise depending on where you were in the system.

Tisiphone looks out into space, eyes full of stars, as Alex interrogates her.

"Why would the UN or Mars be after Ivan?"

"I already told you," she responds evenly, her gaze still fixed on outer space, a melancholic quality that held none of the wonder people usually had when staring into the stars, "he knew too much."

"About what," Alex presses. Earlier she had named all the major players in politics. That which all SFN members despised because it made doing their job a nightmare of red tape.

Tisiphone looks over at him, turning her whole head towards him. "He was involved with the children of prometheus. Selling information. And Park doesn't like when his people decide to leave him."

It didn't take a genius to know what kind of information would be of value to the children of prometheus. "And your mutual friend."

She swallows thickly before answering. "Told me to find Ivan. That he could help me. I don't know anything more than that. Ivan was going to leave the moon with me and explain this later."

Alex doesn't believe that for a second. Tisiphone wouldn't have left so easily that morning if Ivan hadn't given her something. But he also knows when to let things go. "And why would they also be after you?" The usual targets for the children of prometheus were high ranking UN members or members of the Martian Presidium: the operating companies on the belt that treated their workers as expendable.

Tisiphone was none of those.

She takes a seat on Alex's current bed, her knuckles white as she grips the covers, studying the much more pleasant purple carpet. Not as matted or stained as the one in her room.

Her now shoeless feet revealing mismatched socks.

"I saw something I shouldn't have seen." She bites her lip as her eyes water. Alex forces himself not to look away, wanting to give her privacy. "Someone killed my friend and covered it up. And now they want to kill me."

He takes a step towards her, kneeling down in front of her seated figure, "I'm going to help you."

"You can't help me." Tisiphone shakes her head, looking straight at him, "you can only buy me time."

She flips through the stations as Alex combs through the flight records once more. He's isn't looking for random thugs. If this is a high profiled cover up the way she is alleging, then he needs to find a slicker cover.

He checks for any terrans that've landed here in the last few days. Any native mooners with no permanent address on record: the types of people that would easily fly under the recons. The least likely to be scrutinized.

Alex finds three profiles that fit the description. Two had arrived together under the IDBs Gemma and Nick Ryan. Siblings on vacation from earth.

They were passingly related, the same brown coloring. But Alex's searching gaze found no similar features. The bone structure was all wrong. Gemma's strong, squared. While Nick had a delicateness to his features that was absent in Gemma's.

They had the look of UN division operatives. A learned blankness that helped them slip from memory.

The third was on a flight from Ceres. An older asian man: Hugh Shen. There was no way he was born on the moon and had no records of living here. Alex knew most people born on the moon didn't chance leaving.

Opening for new immigrants were few and far between.

Then there was an oily quality that reminded him of many UN cogs that surrounded his mother like gnats.

In order to be sure that they are division members, Alex'll have to go to the scene of the crime. He knows the UN’s playbook. The methods that division uses. Growing up around his mother, he couldn't not have learned something.

Though Penelope Turner was an idealist, she was willing to do what was necessary to get the job done. It's why she was such an effective politician.

He coms Major Moss, letting her know he'll need access to Ivan's hab.

"Stay here," he tells Tisiphone. "Help yourself to anything I've got."

"Anything," she asks archly, "because I could run a bath. Never had one of those."

"Then by all means," he shrugs. The water bill was bound to burn a hole in his pocket, but going through life without knowing the laziness that baths inspired was no life at all.

She rolls her eyes, shamelessly combing through Alex's meager possessions As meager as hers really. Though he didn't have the excuse of being in hiding.

Alex takes the plasma charges with him.

Major Moss, along with another woman of medium build and asian descent, meets him at the entrance to bloc 571, the white paint having long since peeled off the metal walls. The orange lights flickered, needing replacement, as he walks beside her into bloc 571. He can hear the pressure seals around the door, as it slides open, letting them inside.

While the oldest blocs on this side of the moon, their shortcomings in cramped corridors were nothing compared to the space of the older habs.

Unlike Tranquility base, and the rest of the blocs on the moon, the lights inside bloc 571 were LED and white, the costliest to maintain. A knot of tension eased up in Alex's shoulders. His mind, despite the years in space, always unconsciously yearned for earth's natural light.

"This is officer Cong Xi," Major Moss says blandly, "she'll be taking you through all our available evidence. We're receiving pressure to wrap things up as quickly as possible. There are lots of people who want to move into a hub as spacious as this."

Alex snorts. That's what they cared about.

Cong nods, smiling warmly at him as she drinks coffee from her hot pink tumbler. "Nice to meet you Alex Turner."

Which meant she'd been briefed and knew all about him. There was probably a non-SFN version of his file on her com as they spoke.

Alex had never gotten the chance to read his file after the trail. His dishonorable discharge had left him without any credentials to ask for his file without heavy redaction if he got any response at all. He'd have asked his parents if he hadn't been a coward and taken the first ship to Vesta, hell bent on drinking himself to death.

"Likewise," he responds, realizing he's waited a beat too long to respond.

With that said, the Major turns on her heel, and leaves.

"Shall we," Cong asks him, waiting for him to follow. How did such a pleasant person end up working for the MP? Had to be an idealist. Or hadn't been working for long.

He nods.

Alex takes in the bloc.

The floors dull from nearly four centuries of feet walking over it. Not a scrap of white paint left. But the walls are covered with green plexiglass, an attempt to make up for the lack of actual greenery that hadn't been planned for in old models. Even Pallas had some weeds growing among the tangle of wires.

Each door is painted a different color, giving the neighborhood character. Ivan's hab is red, with a pattern of florals overlaid.

Officer Cong hands him shoe covers and a pair of gloves, "standard procedure," she tells him with a tinge of apologies interwoven in her voice, before she unlocks the door, letting them both inside.

Like most crime scenes, the place is covered with tape and plastic to preserve the integrity. But Alex can see the coziness that Ivan Schlossberg had built inside his hab. A glass top table with mismatched but colorful plastic chairs. Books covering a side table ranging from subjects like "Bloom: a guide to space plant maintenance," to "Catching Fire."

His desk is covered with bits of computer parts. Motherboards and processor chips. Different size screens, some with cracks.

This was the picture of a man who believed himself to be safe. He wasn't planning on running at the drop of a dime. So how had they found him?

Tisiphone had entered first.

Why not kill them both at once?

Or had they believed them both to be inside and cursed themselves when they realized the girl had gotten away?

As Alex looks about the room, noting no signs of struggle, Officer Cong studies him. Her gaze curious.

The mess of computer equipment makes Alex guess that Ivan tinkered with it to communicate with whatever group he was working with, likely using it to hack information from earth and mars. The rudimentary nature of his devices would have confused the much more advanced systems Earth relied on, massive data banks in the tundra chugging along. Ivan would've also had the flexibility of pulling the system apart and rebuilding it with different bits of code each time.

A waste of time, unless you were an old man with lots of time on your hands.

His collection of parts would've been written off as eccentricity.

"You can ask," Alex finally says, when he gets tired of the awkward silence.

"Are you really the mutineer?"

It was much better than being asked if he was that traitor. Particularly bitter belters had taken the liberty of making his days hell in the beginning, knowing he wasn't about to go get help from the SFN.

He nods, looking back at the door. Division wasn't above using chemical weapons. The seals on older habs built with the care of spaceships, no one outside this hab would've noticed. "The one and only," he finally says.

While there were lots of people who had problems with the SFN, it generally wasn't seen among rank and file members.

Cong hums, slurping her coffee.

Alex peels back the plastic over a particularly large pile of electronics, his eyes searching for something small, like a computer chip or drive that would be overlooked to the untrained eye. Toxic gases needn't be in large doses to pack a punch.

"I remember the trial on the net," she comments, "it was all my parents could talk about. My whole family really . . ."

A glint of copper catches his eye. Alex keeps his face neutral, letting Cong ramble on as he plays at looking at the body outline on the couch, as if he could magically find a guilty dust bunny, slipping the casing into his hand for later.

"-guess I was too young to care about that. Too caught up with boys and the latest hairstyles."

Alex nods, trying to pay attention. But with that casing, he's sure it was division. Certain mixtures created the same symptoms in the body as a heart attack. Given his age, it created the perfect cover.

But why come in and stab him after?

Who were they trying to frame-

They were after Tisiphone.

She had led them to Ivan, Alex's thoughts come together, each piece falling into place. They had watched her since she arrived. Which meant they knew she was headed to the moon, hence the two early dispatched division agents, purposely waiting for her to leave before killing Ivan, making sure she'd be the only suspect.

But their plan had gone to the pits.

They hadn't planned on Major Moss trying to burry the case. Or that Alex would be called on.

Instead of an easy frame job, it was a cold case waiting to happen. An MP officer would've just taken Tisiphone in. Assumed that the time of death was off due to some lab error and closed the case. But their plan had gone sideways.

"Find anything," Cong asks him suddenly, having given up trying to chat when it became obvious he wasn't listening. Though why he would make small talk about the event that had sliced his life into two distinct parts, he didn't have the foggiest idea.

Alex shakes his head, "thought the scene might hold a clue." He stands up straight, faking the appearance of disappointment channeling his mother's face when he'd come home with an F. "Whatever crime boss hired the hit must've hired a couple of top notch lads."

"Oh well them," Cong continues, holding up her com for him to read, "Major Moss needs us to come in. Apparently there's been a new development in the homicide."

Alex's chest tightens. God he hopes they haven't found Tisiphone dead. Or arrested her.

No. There's no way. He'd already be under arrest for harboring a criminal. No amount of goodwill would keep him out of prison this time.

Alex had to continue under the impression that she was fine. Because no one else had linked her to this case. No one had any reason to suspect her of anything at all. "Led the way then love."

Cong, like most girls (and some boys) since Alex had turned sixteen, blushes pink, before stepping around him and leading him back to the precinct--and to Major Moss's office.

The division agents who had landed on Tranquility base as siblings named Gemma and Nick, introduce themselves as, "Agents Barnes and Khan." They're already seated in front of Major Moss, only confirming Alex's conclusion.

The capsule in his pocket feels like a block of lead, weighing him down.

There's no way they know he knows.

Except they've been tailing Tisiphone since she landed. They might already know she's sitting in his room.

He needs to get off the moon. Alex had promised Tisiphone he'd keep her safe. And this case had just gotten much bigger than a homicide.

It was the type of cover up that required a neutral party to uncover. A High ranking SFN member that would do the right thing. Unfortunately Alex had learned the hard way that organizations were never as impartial and righteous as they claimed to be.

Bloody hell.

In between two impossible choices, giving Tisiphone up or calling his old mentor Vice Admiral Homme, he wasn't sure which was worse. Would Josh Homme even care?

Or was the UN's influence great enough to buy Homme's cooperation?

"I understand that Major Moss has made the mistake of handing a homicide to a private investigator," Agent Barnes says, smiling brightly as if she hadn't just flung shit at Major Moss, who to her credit, didn't even flinch.

"I'm the private investigator," Alex responds evenly.

"They've just finished informing me," Major Moss interrupts, smoothing down the lapels of her pants suit, "that they've identified the culprit."

Agent Barnes nods, then proceeds to do the very Earth thing of pulling out an actual paper file from a jacket and displaying it on the desk. "A career criminal from Titan named Tisiphone Velasquez. We believe her employer to be some drug lord that Mr Trojan was a long time customer of. When he got clean and moved to the moon, well. . ." Barnes trails off leaving a dramatic pause before clearing his throat, "Titian didn't forget his debts."

Ivan's hab was not the home of a drug user. Or a recovering drug user. He'd never been to Titan, to the city under the ocean, but he knew enough about drug lords to know that they had more to deal with than a customer with lots of debts on a colony as secure as the moon.

But Alex can see Major Moss eat up the story, her eyes gazing over as there's one less problem for her to deal with.

"Well Mr. Turner," Major Moss turns to him, "It looks like your services are no longer needed. I'll wire you the payment promptly. Meanwhile I'll circulate the perpetrators photo and have my officers be on the lookout."

"We will be taking custody of Miss Velasquez," Agent Barnes interrupts, "she has insider knowledge of a crime ring we have been monitoring for years."

"Of course," Major Moss responds, already typing out the paperwork.

He has to get off the base. He has to take Tisiphone far from here.

Alex turns to leave, reaching the door before he hears Agent Barnes mutter pointedly under her breath, "It's a wonder Ambassador Turner hasn't resigned out of shame. No clue how he can show his face in public."

Agent Khan coughs to hide a snigger.

A muscle in his jaw twitches. It's bait. And an obvious one at that. He has more than a few scars to prove how stupid responding to it would be, but they did just insult his mother.

"What did you just say," Alex asks through clenched teeth, not turning back to look at them, robbing them of the satisfaction. Mentally, he counts to ten.

He's not going to give them an excuse to place him under arrest.

Tisiphone is counting on him.

The fact that they're baiting him instead of just following him back to the hotel room is a good sign they don't know he's hiding Tisiphone. He tries to concentrate on the and not the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

Tisiphone.

Her petite figure sitting on his bed, scrutinizing everything with an arched brow. The look in her eyes as she'd stared with a refugee's longing for their ancestral home at the image of earth, the green returning to the land after hundreds of long reclamation projects initiated by the UN.

"Nothing to trouble yourself with Alexander Turner," Agent Barnes replies patronizingly, "There is no further use for your services here."

Alex clenches his jaw, and walks out the door.

He lights a cigarette as he makes his way through the dim corridors, the orange fading into scarlet, stopping only to pick up supplies he imagines needing as they travel to space together. Not all at the same store.

Alex will have to get everything out of her, if he's going to throw in his lot with her and hope they get to the bottom of the conspiracy before they're arrested and killed. Or just killed.

What could be bad enough that the UN felt it necessary to send division agents after a woman?

The problem is the IDB has been made.

He's going to have to hope she can get another one quickly. Tisiphone, whose name is more than likely not Tisiphone as all, wouldn't have survived this long is she was stupid.

Fuck.

He really should just turn her in. Or give her a heads up and be on his way. Alex could be on Pallas in four weeks, having the most questionable weed in the system, laced with the hell knows what. Take a case every now and then. Finally make his way out to Titan.

Logan had been his favorite western growing up. Right after The magnificent Seven. He'd made Matt have stand offs against him for days after seeing it, pretending he could manipulate metal. And Titan was the new wild west of space. And still people flocked out to carve their little piece of real estate.

Humanity is ever expanding.

Alex has to press the lift button twice, cursing and lighting another cigarette when the lift's lighting system dies as he ascends up, connecting with Tranquility's passageways.

More than once, he has to stop himself from glancing over his shoulder, sure he'll see an Agent following him. Hugh Shen had been absent from their little meeting. But that didn't mean he wasn't still skulking about.

Even the air changes from the corridors to the base. It's drastic compared to Ceres where the air quality is shit everywhere you go. The base has crisp clean air that didn't leave you all cotton mouthed for the wrong reasons.

From there it's easy enough to head to his room. Alex is already flicking through the net, looking for tickets to the belt. Or maybe they should go to Callisto. It was famous for being a no extradition zone: refusing to acknowledge any authority other than theirs and SFN's by extension. The relative safety was tempting, but he couldn't plan until Tisiphone told him everything she knew.

Alex wasn't stupid enough to think she wasn't holding something back. Her earlier explanation had been as vague as she could manage given the circumstances. He had no clue who her friend was. What she had seen other than a wrongful death.

There had to be a reason behind the coverup after all.

No government went around coverup murder for no reason. It just wasn't economical.

"You have to tell me everything you know," Alex tells Tisiphone in what he hopes is a commanding voice, as he tosses his bags on the bed, plopping down. His only shortcoming as a commander had been the complete and utter lack of confidence he had when giving orders. "Division has just shown up and thrown you under the bus."

Tisiphone's hair hangs down, damp as she listlessly scrolls through the catalogue of music offered by the hotel. She flinches at his words. "I should've left when I had the chance," she tells him harshly, uncurling from the settee and moving to grab her things. She jams her feet into her boots in one swift motion, clearly having been ready to make a run for it at a moment's notice.

"You're right," Alex tries, taking out the gas casing, ensuring the glint of metal catches her eyes. "It's a coverup."

"Obviously," Tisiphone scowls.

"I'm sure they've circulated your IDB by now," he continues, "they wanted to frame you for Ivan's death. I want to know what you saw so I can help you."

"Why so they can kill you as well," Tisiphone shakes her head, "No. . .no."

"What's so important that Division would risk breaking the treaty of Schiaparelli for," Alex asks, rubbing his temples. He wasn't a politician. The inner workings of government fell to the wayside of his thoughts.

There had been no major battles fought in a hundred years but relations between colonies were always fraught with tension over resources. Those skirmishes were usually fought in the Solarium Federations regulatory body, but Alex wasn't naive enough to discount the darker talk of division--their tendency to enhanced interrogation.

"Why do you want to help me so badly," Tisiphone counters, hands on her hip, glaring down at him as if he was the reason that Division had found her at all.

"Someone should," Alex shrugs, peering up at her. The line of her body fell naturally into a defensive stance, something that could only be so natural if she'd started training when she was very young. Tisiphone wasn't an innocent civilian, but she still didn't deserve to be disposed of. "And if I don't, they'll probably kill you and throw your body in some incinerator."

"Or they'll kill us both," Tisiphone replies archly.

"I'm offering you my help if you want it."

She peers down her nose at him, her lips pressed into a flat line, the slim line of her jaw fitting in perfectly with her feline features: a cat deciding if batting the toy was worth it. Turning on her heel, stepping into the bathroom, Tisiphone orders him to, "strip."

Smart girl.

It doesn't keep the burn from making its way up his neck as she turns the refresher, the low static drowning out any background noise as she takes a seat inside the fogged glass.

Alex kicks off his boots, gratefully that he'd actually kept up with his fitness all these years as he pulls his shirt off. There's still bruising in the crook of his elbow. He doubts she misses it as she stares up at him. It's a rush of relief when he notices the scarlet on her cheeks. This is embarrassing for both of them then, as he unbuttons his trousers, before taking a seat in front of her.

"Division blew up my crew." She starts with, staring at a spot behind him, her eyes welling up with tears. "They launched a missile and it tore their ship apart." She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, shaking her head, "I'm sorry I just. . .let me start over."

"It's okay."

"Shut up Alex and let me tell this in a way that makes sense." She swallows thickly. Taking a deep breathe during which she closes her eyes before continuing. "My name is Vera Albaicin. I'm an agent of the Guoanbu. Sixty eight sols ago my crew was handpicked to participate in an interplanetary task force with the UN. It was supposed to be an easy retrieval mission. We met up with the other crew. Everything was normal."

T-Vera closes her eyes, her hands closed tightly by her sides, trying to suppress the shiver that runs down her spine. Alex wants to offer comfort, but he isn't sure there is anything he can do to make things better in this situation.

"I took an EMU suit to-it was a strange ship. More like a capsule or probe. I had just made contact when my ship was hit." She shakes her head, a desperation in her eyes at the helplessness she must keep on feeling. Not having been able to do anything to save her crew. "Space. They died in seconds. The thing is. . .the only people who would've known about the mission were the UN and MPC. Earth and mars."

Alex nods, trying to probe her as gently as possible because there is still one unanswered question, "how did you know to find Ivan."

The UN and MPC must have decided that the knowledge was better off lost after having sent a retrieval team. Something they didn't want anyone to know about it. That fact that mars and earth had cooperated at all was throwing Alex off. Weapons would make sense if it was just mars or earth. But together?

Vera shakes her head slowly, her gaze meeting his, an intense anger to their depth he had not seen before. She was digging because she was fucking mad. This was a woman seeking justice. "I can't."

"Vera," Alex utters, unable to look away, trying her real name out on his tongue. "My name is Alexander Turner. I'm kind of famous for breaking the law," he finished with a self deprecating smile.

Usually, the last thing he wanted a potential date to know was his past.

Her eyes widen, her whole body freezing up as she takes in the new information, pursing her lips in an attempt to suppress a telling gasp. But instead of recoiling in disgust as he expects her to, Vera reaches for her neck, revealing a necklace obscured by her hoodie. It's a cheap metal thing that must be of sentimental value.

She doesn't stop there, thumbing the ring at the end of the chain before meeting his gaze once more. This time there's no hard glint to her cognac eyes, but a woman at last having caught on to a life preserver. "Julian-Captain Casablancas told me to find Ivan. Trust no one-trust no one but Alex Turner," Vera admits, unable to hold his gaze. "He must have known what was coming."

It's a ring he recognizes well, a twin to his own commander ring. The classic exploration insignia: the atom. Every detail identical for Julian and Alex had received their rank at the same ceremony, only Julian had been eight years older. Already the man Alex wanted to be: wanted to be with. The man had inspired camaraderie the way a good leader should, and clearly he had managed it in a martian girl as well if she had come all this way on his word alone.

"Can I," he motions, aware of the closing distance between them. Between him and Vera. Vera. He had to get his head around that one. Same woman, different name.

No. Not the same woman.

This woman was a martian secret intelligence agent. Not some naive little girl.

She nods, closing her fist around the ring before yanking the chain in a quick motion. It snaps off. The sound like the hull of a ship nearing the end of its lifetime, creaking. Then drops the ring into his outstretched palm.

Without Alex having to prompt this time, still caught up in seeing Julian's ring, still warm from Vera's body heat, in his hand. Julian hadn't responded to Alex's messages. He'd assumed it was because of Alex's past, but now he was left to wonder if Julian had wanted to protect him by keeping away from him. Keeping whatever he'd gotten caught up in that had killed him away from Alex. Vera adds, "I was confused why he'd told me that, given me his ring as I got into the EMU suit but. . .Ivan told me that he was just the messenger. He'd worked for so many sides not asking questions. Earth, Solarium, Mars. They were all the same to him. So he decided that the children of prometheus had a point and got in contact with them. Relaid information. Ivan-he was going to tell me more."

But he'd died.

Vera looks at him meaningfully, "but he did manage to give me the coordinates that he was given by his CoP contact. In case he ever needed a safe house or extraction."

"He never-," Alex begins to ask, not taking his eyes off the ring. In his hand was proof that Julian had been killed.

"He never met his contact," Vera confirms. "But they're on Callisto. Some hippie hub." She rolls her eyes and what a martian thing to do. Look down on every colony not hell bent on terraforming.

Alex turns his gaze on her once more, seeing her in a different light for the first time. Trying to spot what made her a martian. As if he could spot in vitro augmentation just by looking her over.

But all he saw was a petite woman with a hollowness under her eyes. Her full lips pressed into a grim line. Hair slowly drying into waves, catching the light like oil on water. Despite Alex's new information about Vera, he was no less drawn to her.

There was no sadistic edge that spoke of oprichnik operatives who the Martian People's council refused to acknowledge existed despite all the mounting evidence about their methods.

His gut was telling him that Vera was telling the truth.

"One thing though," Alex points out, taking off his own ring for the first time since he'd first received command rank, a command long since stripped from him, and sliding Julian's ring on his finger in its place as he stands up. His mind was made up. He was going to help Vera uncover this conspiracy. Clear Julian and Vera's name. And maybe, just maybe, reclaim some respect on his name.

"What?"

"You said earth and mars sent you," he says gently, having encountered enough martians to know how loyal to their colony they were otherwise known as having bought into the propaganda, "but Division killed your crew.. ."

"Yes," Vera nods, tapping her foot on the floor.

"Then wouldn't both earth and mars have sent the missile that killed your crew? Or wouldn't have mars already used this as an excuse to advance their agenda?"

"No," she supplies, refusing to even contemplate the idea that Mars would've been complicit in such an act. "The Guoanbu wouldn't have killed their own. We're-they're not like that."

“Vera," he sighs, "there's nastiness under every corner, no matter how nice everything is on top you know."

She shakes her head again, averting her gaze, There wasn't much to look at on the walls, but she was making due.

"Let's just find ya another IDB and get to Callisto-"

There's a knock at the door.

Alex and Vera trade wide eyed looks, having taken the plunge off the same cliff with nothing but a string of brand new fucking trust between them. A dead man's word to go on.

Fucking hell.

Matt and Nick flank each side of the room's door. Nick's stone face offsets the mixture of parental concern Matt's features contain, sighing at Alex's appearance, sticking his head out the door. Vera hiding next to the door, alert to every word.

He has to wonder how good her hearing is. Martian's always messed with embryos biology, designing the next generation to be fitter. Could she hear down the hall? What the people in the next room were saying?

Matt steps forward, "jesus fuck mate," he shakes his head. "Can't respond to a bloody com now Alex."

"I told you I got a job," he protests, trying to remember if that was true. His friends had fallen to the bottom of his priorities quickly. Alex had a habit of self absorption with whatever obsession came his way. It had made him a terrific ensign, practicing the same maneuver for hours until he could do it with his eyes closed.

"No," Nick corrects, not bothering to move the curls out of his face, watching him carefully, "you didn't."

Alex sighs, but doesn't budge. They mustn't see Vera. Soon her face will be plastered all over the net as a manhunt begins. Her IDB must already be flagged for travel.

He had to make his rightfully concerned friends go away and quickly.

"Al," Matt levels with him, "I asked you to be here because you might as well be my brother. I knew when I did that it would mean coming back to the moon. That it would bring up a load of shit for you."

"We're worried about you mate," Nick explains. "You're still here. You won't talk to any of us."

" 'm fine," Alex mumbles, unable to hold eye contact with either of his friends. He looks at his shoes as he realizes how unfair he's been to them both in the last two days.

This trip was supposed to be about Matt.

He shouldn't be here worried that Alex finally went off the rails.

"Alex," Matt utters, placing his hand on the door frame, leaning in close to Alex. "You know you can talk to me. I don't care what you did or why."

"Really," Alex tries, because as much as he'd like to have this long overdue discussion, finally get to explain why--no one had ever asked him why, they'd just condemned his actions as w r o n g--he has to get Vera off the moon. "I'm fine. Just been in me head."

"That's what I'm worried about," Matt responds, eyes locked onto his, as if Alex could disappear at any moment. "You've always been in your head too much Al. And it didn't matter when I knew you were looking after yourself. Had me and the lads with you but-Alex you looked like utter shit back in Vesta last time I saw you, hopped up on who knows what."

Alex swears internally. They really knew when to pick the worst moments. He was actually doing good. "I know. . .," he tries to find the words that don't require him to have an emotional breakdown in Tranquility Hotel, aware Vera's listening in, "it's been rough. Some days worse than others but Matthew," he whines, "I really am good."

"For how long though," Nick counters, crossing his arms against his chest. It was a good point but Alex really hadn't been in the dark lonely place in months. Maybe closer to a year now. Progress.

Something about waking up missing shoes and jammed into the seediest by corners of an asteroid had lit a fire under his arse about moving on.

He hadn't even hit the agents earlier. They would've deserved it but who gives a shit. Alex will always be a mutineer but at least his hands were clean. His conscience is a white pearl like a meditating bodhisattva.

"Can we just go inside and talk man," Matt pleads, his shoulder resting against the door, clearly seconds away from shoving his way in.

Guilt wells up in his mouth. Despite having every reason to say no, Alex wants to say yes, the word making its way to the tip of his tongue at Matt's insistence.

It was Matt and he was Alex and he couldn't just deny him like this after everything.

Terrans were only allowed one child.

The law didn't keep Matt from being his brother any less.

"I can't," Alex sighs. "I just-you've given me a lot to think about."

Matt rolls his eyes, hurt flashing through his features as he takes a step back, "bullshit."

"Just open up the damn door Alexander," Nick tries, clearly having had it with trying to do things the nice way, realizing Alex wasn't going to budge on his own. "We're ya friends."

"It's been six years Alex," Matt added. "I thought you'd want to talk by now."

Alex shakes his head, "it's not always a straight line."

"Let's have this conversation inside," Nick insists, "who knows when you'll be around next Al. And now Matt has a command. . ."

Matt shoves his way in.

Alex had forgotten how hot headed he could be. The foil to his cool and calm temperament: translating Alex's lit to others. Not that Alex had much trouble verbalizing, necessity being the mother invention. He no longer took hours to get a sentence out of his mouth.

"Matt!"

"Don't Matt me Al," Matt retorts spying Vera in seconds, who's already fallen into a defensive stance.

Matt brings a hand to his face, pinching his nose bridge, before heavily sighing, "You've got to be kidding me Al. You're hiding a murderer now."

"She's no-"

"I didn't kill anyone," she tries, folding into herself, trying to appear smaller and innocent than she actually is. Vera tries to play at being Tisiphone once more. "It's all a misunderstanding!"

"Then turn yourself in," Nick challenges, closing the door behind him.

"Al," Matt says, placing his hands on Alex's shoulders, "what the hell are you thinking mate! They're going to lock you up for this and not even-"

"Matt," he interrupts, "trust me. I'd love to have a nice long chat but things have gotten. . .complicated and-it's safer if ya don't know. Just. . .trust me."

Matt stares back at him, mouth drawn. An entire childhood together on earth, their toes digging into the soil, tracking mud all over the floors. Later a shared adolescence, their accents charming the girls and boys at school, Matt doing all the talking and never leaving a painfully shy Alex behind.

He nods. "You better come back because we're having this talk even if I have to go visit you in prison."

"There are things far worse than prison," Vera unhelpfully points out, tugging on her jacket over her hoodie, the collar lined with actual animal fur. Given the martian rationing system, it was an untold luxury for Vera to own a leather jacket with fur at all. "I'd even take death over enhanced interrogation."

She pretends to tremble with fear, "anything but gravity."

Alex snorts in spite of the dark subject matter. "Not helping."

Ignoring the other two men in the room, Vera hands Alex one of the spare IDB's he'd seen in her bag earlier. Had it really been only hours ago? "Here's your IDB now. Alexander Collins. Born on Pallas. Married to Morgana Collins," she points at herself, already dispatching the old IDB off her wrist and throwing it in her bag. "Came to the moon to get married. Off to Callisto to make a living," she explains calmly.

"Short and sweet," Alex notes, looking down at his own wrist, the IDB a second skin. He hadn't taken it off since he'd left earth. Many colonies like Callisto chose to implant the ID chip.

It was the key to getting on any ship. His passport and last link to earth. His last hope at ever stepping foot on the big blue planet again, however slim.

Visas for foreigners pretty much nonexistent.

Nick hands him a swiss army laser, "I implanted mine." It's news to Alex who hadn't even noticed, Nick having always been a bit chilly, wearing long sleeves year round. " 's nice actually."

Matt dramatically covers his eyes.

Alex slices through the metal, leaving a band of unblemished creamy skin.

It doesn't last long, as Vera easily replaces it.

"You should keep it," she tells him, patting his arm like a parent half heartedly consoling their child after a pet fish dies. "We are planning on fixing things."

"Yeah," Alex answers, running his fingers over the band. He already felt less confident without it.

[imagine-that-100]

Holiday | Part 13 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Alex Turner and the other boys from Arctic Monkeys since you were 13. You never for a second thought that Alex would release a song about you though. From late night phone calls and almost constant texting and teasing, you’ve managed to stay close with him over the years. When a pact is established and a holiday is arranged, life seems to be treating you very well. But a month in LA will either make or break you.

Word Count: 11.4K

A/N: It’s Friday, which means you get your next dose of Holiday! So, this series is probably going to end up being around 20 Parts all together. That’s not for definite but with what I have prewritten and what I have planned for it that seems like the number it’s going to end up around. Not for definite but don’t worry we aren’t anywhere near done yet.  Taglists are always open. Thank you for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The click of the door unlocking distracts you from your conversation and you can already tell that as soon as that door opened something embarrassing would take place. And you weren’t wrong.

You press your lips together as you watch the front door open. The men around you laugh at the joke that one of them just made as you watch Y/B/F push the front door open, and you just wait until she inevitably notices who’s inside your flat.

When the door is halfway open, she immediately looks over and her eyes go wide which causes you to grin at her. She doesn’t even look your way before she completely retracts herself back out of the room with a little squeal of excitement.

You couldn’t stop the giggle leaving your lips as you watched the front door close behind her and you lent your head on Alex’s shoulder as you heard him start laughing at her reaction too.

“Who was that?” Jamie asks you, looking from the door to you.

Nick also looked completely confused, which you weren’t surprised about. Not everyone walked into a room, squealed and then immediately left.

“Just Y/B/F” You tell them as your giggles die down.

“Your best mate?” Jamie confirms, he remembered you talking about her before.

You pick your head up off Alex’s shoulder to nod, “Yeah she lives here too. Didn’t pre-warn her that you were coming though”

“She knows who we are?” Nick asks.

“Yeah we met at one of your gigs, rest is history” You smile at the memory.

Jamie looks at you curiously before asking, “When?”

“Humbug tour” You say as you sit up a bit.

“Didn’t tell her I knew you straight away though… And she only became obsessed when I was having a moment of weakness and watched 2007 Glastonbury again” You continue to tell them as you stand yourself up so you can go and check if she’s okay.

You started walking towards the front door when you heard Alex sigh.

“Why am I going out with someone who’s obsessed with me?” Alex shakes his head at you.

“Are you having a laugh?” Jamie asks him whilst wearing a very confused expression.

He was obviously thinking the same thing as you.

“Al, hunny” You say turning back to look at him, “Everyone in the room can vouch that you were just as obsessed with me as I was with you”

“I mean she’s right” Nick shrugs and Jamie nods in confirmation.

You giggle as Alex looks at them like he’s broken-hearted because they sided with you.  

“You’re meant to be my mates, stick up for me” You hear him scorn them as you make your way towards your front door to see if your best friend is alright.

You open up the door and take a step outside as you say, “Y/B/F?”

You look right first but see nothing, then you check left and see her just stood down the corridor with her shopping bags still in hand. You smile at her before letting the door close behind you as you walk towards her.

You smile at her as you approach her, “Are you okay?”

“Y/N/N that was Jamie Cook and Nick O’Malley, right? Or am I seeing things?” She asks you, completely blanking your question.

“No, you’re right” You chuckle before talking some of the many shopping bags from her.

“Fuck me” Y/B/F sighs before leaning her head against the wall. Still a little in shock, it seems.

After a moment, she looks back at you and says, “Jamie Cook is sat in my spot”

“Yeah but you’re not gunna kick him out of it, are you?” You laugh.

“Hell no” Y/B/F says with a massive grin on her face.

You start slowly walking back to your door which you notice that, in her shock, she’d left her keys in.

You suppress your giggle before asking her, “Are you prepared to say hello?”

She shakes her head at you.

“Not really, I look like a tramp” She gestures down at herself.

You looked at what she was wearing and shook her head. She looked so cute in her baby pink joggers, white trainers, and her long sleeved white cropped V-neck top.

“That’s a lie, you look gorgeous” You tell her, wishing you’d attempted to look cute.

You just wore your blue jeans with a long-sleeve black top tucked into them. You were in your slippers currently too just because you weren’t going anywhere with Alex until later on, so you thought you’d be comfy for a while longer.

Alex had made his usual effort though and was dressed in his black boots, jeans and a black and white striped top. Crazy how even the simplest of outfits made him look fucking incredible.

“You think so?” Y/B/F asks you as if she didn’t believe you at all.

God you loved her so much. She was too precious.

“Yes, most definitely” You tell her with a big grin before you open up the door once again, except this time Y/B/F stays inside when she enters.

“You know what? I sometimes wish you didn’t have a boyfriend so I could get off with you” She sighs as she places her bags down on the ground next to where you’d just put her others.

You laugh at what she said before making your way back over to sit next to Alex. As you do that though you nudge him a bit so he will budge up so Y/B/F can come and sit down next to you.

“Right Y/B/F, it’s nearly been two months. You can’t wish me away that quickly” Alex tells her as he moves up and you take a seat next to him again.

You smiled at him telling her that. You knew two months wasn’t a big anniversary by any means, but you were pleased to know he knew how long you’d been together for.

You shouldn’t have been surprised though. Alex was one of the most romantic people you knew.

Everything had been plain sailing for the both of you back over in the UK thankfully. It had been a week since you were at your Mum’s and you’d all coexisted in the smallish flat quite well.

In fairness, you weren’t there for most of the day but from what your best friend and Alex had told you when you’d come back home, they got on quite well and gave each other the space they needed.

Y/B/F was now obviously off work because it was the summer holidays and Alex floated around your flat keeping himself busy either by playing your guitar or watching TV. You guessed he’d been napping too considering the state of his hair when you’d come home from work the other day.

You knew he’d being going seeing his Mum and Dad a lot too, something which you were both going to do later on. You hadn’t been to see them with him yet because you’d been knackered after work every night, but you couldn’t wait to see them in a bit.

“Sorry Al, I just miss the days when I could pull my best friend” Y/B/F shrugs her shoulders pretending to sound a bit deflated.

That seems to get Alex’s attention though and his head snaps towards you.

“You used to pull each other?” He asks you with his brown eyes staring at you.

Looks like someone liked the idea of that.

You grin at him, “It’s happened more than once”

“Would be happening again right now if it was up to me” She mumbles as she passes by you all just to chuck her shopping bags into her room.

“I mean it doesn’t look like he’ll have any complaints about it” You chuckle with suggestive eyebrows at her before she disappears off into her room.

She shouts back to you, “I bet he wouldn’t”

“I don’t have any objections either” Jamie grins at you.

You start giggling at Jamie saying that and Y/B/F comes and sits down next to you. She gets herself comfy on the settee when she smiles at Jamie and Nick.

“It’s nice to meet the both of you. I’m Y/B/F” She introduces herself.

“Yes, we have heard a lot about you” Nick smiles back at her.

Jamie grins and chuckles though, “Mostly about the present you sent Alex”

“Oh, for fucks sake” You sigh before sinking into Alex’s side a bit more.

“Ha, yeah, it was a pretty good idea and from what I hear, it went down a treat” Y/B/F giggles before nudging you in your side which you playfully glare at her for doing.

“Think treat would be an understatement from the things I was hearing” Jamie chuckles and it almost sounds evil.

“What have you heard?” You sceptically ask him before you look to Alex wondering what he’d been telling his mates.

Alex just look at you and shakes his head, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t tell anyone anything”

You could tell he was being serious.

“Oh for fucks sake, is Miles making shit up again?” You turn back to the other two Monkeys on the sofa opposite wanting to know.

“Matt mostly, actually” Nick tells you and you shake your head.

You tut before saying, “He wasn’t even there when he opened it though. He’s full of shit”

“No but apparently he saw Alex’s wrists the following day” Nick grinned.

“Alex’s wrists!?” Y/B/F shouts from next to you.

She shot straight up in her seat and turned towards you and Alex with her jaw practically on the ground.

“Jesus Christ” You murmur before running a hand through your hair.

“Did you- Oh my god” She stammers, and you just press your lips together whilst you look at her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” She asks you, her jaw still hanging open.

You shrug innocently before pointing to Alex, “Because I feel like I divulge too much of my sex life, especially when it’s with him”

“What is that meant to mean?” Alex asks you with raised eyebrows.  

You laugh, “You’re pretty so people wanna know more about you”

Nick and Jamie just laugh at that. Alex looks like he wished he didn’t ask.

“I actually can’t believe it I’ve never been prouder” Y/B/F excitedly tells you.

You grin at her, “Thank you my love”

She blows a kiss at you and you laugh before blowing one back despite being sat next to each other.

“You know if I didn’t know how obsessed with each other you are” Nick starts by pointing between you and Alex.

He then continues to say, “I would think you were the roommate Al, and they were going out”

You and Alex chuckle at that but Y/B/F backs up Nick’s point.

“He is the constant third wheel, yes” She confirms, and it makes Alex scoff as he throws his arm around your shoulder.

“I’ll get off with her in front of you in a minute” He threatens and you have try and not roll your eyes.

She laughs and stands herself up, “You won’t because you’ll know I enjoy it”.

That caused you to snort because you know it would be true.

“Yeah, there are pros and cons of having a bisexual best mate” You chuckle as you watch her walk towards the kitchen.

“Pros outweigh the cons” Y/B/F says as she turns to look back at you.

“Oh definitely” You say as Nick and Jamie laugh.

She asks you guests politely, “Do you’s two want a brew?”

“Yes please” Nick smiles at her.

Jamie nods before saying, “She’s already a better host than you two”

“I offered you a drink when you came in and you said no” You scoff, offended by your friends sat opposite you.

“She’s a shit friend just ignore her” Y/B/F says from the kitchen.

You scoff but don’t react to her other than that. You shake your head before looking over to Nick and Jamie who are silently chuckling to themselves.

They look so good; You were so glad they were here. You hadn’t seen them in over a year, so it really had been lovely catching back up with them.

“You gunna make us one Y/B/F?” Alex calls to her and she tells him to fuck off.

You pat his thigh before resting your hand on it. “Don’t be silly” You tell him, knowing exactly what she was about to tell him.

“You live here. Get up and make it yourself” She shouts back at him which makes you laugh.

“Didn’t want one anyway” Alex mumbled under his breath before he kissed the top of your head.

You had a little chuckle to yourself as you watch Y/B/F come back into the room with Nick and Jamie’s drinks in hand. And after they securely take it from her with a ‘thank you’ she goes back and gets her drink before sitting herself down next to her again.

“So, I believe you two met at our gig?” Nick asks Y/B/F more than he asks you.

You nod as she follows up with, “Oh yeah. Those were the days”  

“Alex, bring back the humbug hair please” She excitedly asks him too.

“I mean it’s really not that far off” He says before running his hand through it.

He’d not gelled it back today, but after his shower he’d pushed it so it was out of his face and it was getting quite long. You didn’t fail to tell him how good it looked either.

A little longer and he’d look like a brown-haired version of Prince Charming, and you were certainly okay with that.

“But yeah we met at your Liverpool show… Then we were next to each other again in the pit for Sheffield weren’t we and we got talking before the support came on” She tells them before taking a sip of her drink.

“We exchanged numbers at that show, didn’t we?” You ask her.

She nods, “Yeah we did, because I texted you to see if you were going to the Newcastle one”

“Which I obviously was” You grin at the boys around you and they shake their heads at you.

You knew you were a weirdo superfan, but you couldn’t help it. You just loved a good gig and their music was top tier.

“But we both weren’t going to your London shows but we then realised that at the time we lived twenty minutes away from each other, so we ended up going in my car to the Newcastle one” You carry the story on.

Alex looks at you then and says, “I swear for half of these you didn’t tell us you were coming to them though”

“No I didn’t because when I came to see you at the end of the Manchester gig, you were fuming I’d been driving all over when I could have just come on the bus with you guys” You smile remembering it fondly.

You continue, “And then you made me get the bus with you to Nottingham and you got them to detour back through Manchester so I could get my car before you went up to Glasgow”.

“Fucking hell, I’m glad you weren’t in the pit for that gig” Alex says before hugging you slightly closer to him.

“Shit yeah, that was bad that” Jamie remembers.

Y/B/F looks around at the men in the room slightly confused, “Why? What happened in Glasgow?”

“The crowd were animals. They were throwing shit at us” Nick tells her.

Alex tells her, “We had to stop a few times… Didn’t we?” Double checking with the other lads.

You knew he was right because you remembered him telling you about it afterwards.

“Yeah bloody rowdy bastards. Never seen anything like it” Jamie shook his head with wide eyes, obviously remembering the whole ordeal.

You feel it was the perfect time to throw in a joke.

“So… You could say they were dangerous animals” You say almost immediately wanting to laugh at yourself.

You knew it was a bad joke but since being home with Y/B/F you’d got back into the habit of saying them.

“Oh fuck off” Alex sighs immediately and shakes his head.

He removes his arm from around you before pushing you towards your best friend.

“You can have her Y/B/F” Alex says, and you lean against your best friend instead.

She whispers in your ear, “I’m glad you said that joke because I was seconds away from saying it”

You both just have a little giggle to each other before a new conversation starts back up. Half an hour passes by really quickly whilst you all chat away and it’s all relatively calm.

To begin with.

“How are Katie and Kelly?” You ask Jamie and Nick.

“My lot are doing great thank you” Jamie smiles.

Nick nods, “Yeah, same for me”

“Both your babies are okay?” You check with a smile.

Both men opposite you nod their heads and your glad to know that everything is good with them.

“Yeah they are doing great” Nick tells you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even know you had a kid Nick” Y/B/F says.

“And that’s what I like to hear” Nick grins liking that his privacy is still maintained.

You chat a little more about how they are doing before you just settle into conversation and before long Jamie brings up about when Y/B/F entered the room.

“Your entrance was quite comical Y/B/F” He grins at her.

“Yeah sorry about that. Not used to having my heroes sat in my home” She says a tad embarrassed before taking another mouthful of her brew.

Nick chuckles, “Wow don’t think I’ve ever been called a hero before”.

“Well you most definitely are one. You’ve saved mine and Y/N’s lives more than you’ll ever know” She tells them.

You nod with a smile.

“How’s that?” Jamie asks.

“Well we have a saying in this flat…” Your best friend starts, and you take over to finish it.

“An album a day keeps the depression away” You smile.

Your smile only gets bigger when Alex starts chuckling next to you.

“And nine times out of ten it’s one of your albums” Y/B/F confirms.

“Or Miles’” You point out.

She grins suggestively at you before saying, “Oh yes, who could forget about that man”

“You need to prepare yourself for when you meet him” You say as you scoot yourself closer to Alex again.

She bolted up so she was sitting up in her seat properly, “Miles is coming?!”

“Not today. Don’t worry” Alex eases her worries.

“Thank fuck” Y/B/F breathed out a sigh of relief as she sank back into sofa, “I was about to run to the shower”

“What’s going on with Miles?” Jamie asks.

“They have been in contact and you know…” Alex trails off and you roll your eyes at having to take over.

Sometimes he was still too pure around his mates. You of all people knew how dirty that mouth could be.

You didn’t think he should have a problem saying what was going on.

“They’re gunna fuck, is what he’s trying to say” You fill them in.

“Oh right, nice one” Nick chuckles looking from you to Y/B/F.

Jamie asked curiously, “How’d that even come about?”

“Y/N/N half set them up” Alex informed him.

“Not really, they grouped together embarrassing me about Alex” You tell them the full truth.

“Which time?” Y/B/F asks.

You’re about to answer her but then she carries on.

“The time I told them that your most relatable video was Snap Out Of It, or when I told them that you thought about Alex when you were with that other guy” She yet again spills your secrets.

“You thought about Al whilst you were with someone else?” Jamie gasped with a grin plastered on his face.

Nick’s jaw is on the ground, but he also laughs at what had just been revealed.

“I fucking hate you” You tell your best friend.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this again” You sigh dramatically before leaning your head on Alex’s shoulder to hide for a second.

However, Alex smirks and aids Y/B/F in spilling your secrets, “Yeah, he was too boring for her apparently, so because she was listening to our music, she thought about me”

You can hear Jamie’s laugh this time as Nick starts bullying you.

“You’re actually filthy” Nick chuckles with a disappointing shake of his head.

Your head snaps back up to say, “It’s not like any of you fuckers were meant to find out”

“You all know far too much about me, it’s not right” You shake your head and put your feet up on the sofa so you can hug your legs.

“Well I’m sorry that you were being a whore for your best friend, and he found you fit too…” Y/B/F defends herself.  

“I think I set you up and I don’t near you complaining when you’re shagging in the next room” She continues before taking another sip of her drink, so she didn’t laugh.

Jamie and Nick try and hold back their laughter at that and you shake your head.  

“Fuck my life” You say before hiding your face into your legs that you’re still hugging.

“It sounds like he does” Y/B/F says nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Nick and Jamie then burst out laughing and you can only hide by closing your eyes. Alex just chuckles and pulls you into him.

You feel him plant a kiss which makes you feel the slightest bit better.

“Sick of being bullied” You murmur as you pick your head and look to the people around you again.

Alex smiles at you and shrugs before saying, “I’m still gunna shag you either way”

He has you laughing at that, so that made it a little difficult for him to kiss you, but he got one after a second of giggling.

“Oh, forgot to tell you” Y/B/F taps your shoulder

“Want me to ruin your favourite song off Favourite Worst Nightmare?” Y/B/F asks you.

“I don’t think you can ruin that song” You tell her.

Alex asks you, “Which song?”

“You should know you wrote it” Jamie tells him.

“Yeah sorry I’ll just read her mind and tell you which one it is” Alex furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head.

Sarcastic bastard.  

“Is it 505?” Nick asks with a smile.

You shake your head, “Nope”

“Stop guessing” Alex says because he knows Nick will just carry on guessing and he will probably go through the whole album without getting it right.

“See if you can guess from how I ruin it” Y/B/F grabs all of their attention

You pout, “I really don’t want you to ruin it though”

“Too bad” She smirks at you.

“Right come on tell us” Jamie hurries her on.

“The song is about a condom” She says before pressing her lips together watching for your reaction.

You pull a face at her before shaking your head, “No it’s not”

“Sing it to yourself in your head” She instructs, and you do as your told.

You literally get to the second line before your jaw drops and you turn to Alex and scowl. There’s no hesitation in your actions as you slap his arm.

“You’re fucking disgusting” You scowl at him before moving out of his grip.

“Right I’m sick of you two reading into my songs. Because I don’t even know which one she’s on about” Alex sighs

“Balaclava” You tell everyone.

“Is it bad I can’t even remember how it starts?” Jamie asks and you laugh.

“Running off over next door’s garden before the hour is done. It’s more a question of feeling than it is a question of fun” You say slowly as you look at Alex.

You couldn’t believe your favourite song now had these connotations.

“Al mate, that’s nasty shit” Nick scolds him.

Alex mumbles, “Fuck sake, I can’t win”

“I can’t believe you’ve just ruined my favourite one” You pout turning back to your best friend.

She smiles at you victoriously but says, “I’m sorry it ruined it for me too, so I had to share the discomfort”

You huff in your seat before looking at Alex.

“Sorry love but what did you think it was about?” He asks you.

“I don’t even know, I just thought it was some Bonnie and Clyde shit” You shrug and pout your lip.

“Well it’s still about that don’t worry” He smiles but shakes his head at you.

“It’s alright Y/N I’ll go out with you instead and write nice songs about something poetically tragic for you” She grabs you hand and kisses the back of it which makes you, Jamie, and Nick giggle.

“I can do that myself thanks” Alex says before taking your other hand and practically pulling you back into him.

He was the cutest but softest possessive boyfriend in the world.

“I take it you’ve told her about the album then?” Jamie smiles at the both of you.

“About Everything You’ve Come To Expect? Yeah, she came to the studio when we were doing some recording” Alex nods before getting up out of his seat.

Alex looks to see if everyone else around him still have full cups and they practically do so he just asks you if you would like a cup of tea and nod you head saying, “Please”

“Don’t mean that album” Jamie chips back in though

“What album then?” You ask confused.

“AM” He says, and you look at him blankly.

You pretty much knew everything about that album. You knew every lyric. Every beat of Matt’s drums. Every Guitar solo.

So, you were confused as to why he was bringing it back up.

“About how AM is practically an album about you” Jamie reveals, and you go deadly still.

Not being able to comprehend, you ask, “What?”

“Most of the songs on AM are about you” Jamie tells you again.

“No, they aren’t” You shake your head.

“Well they are… He’d be texting you and then start writing lyrics down the next minute” Jamie informs you.

But you don’t believe him.

“No, they’re about Arielle. They aren’t about me” You say completely in denial.

You were so confused. Even Nick was looking at you like he was sad that you weren’t realising.

“No, Fireside and Arabella are about Arielle. The rest are pretty much you” Jamie confirms.

“Yeah okay, Knee Socks is about me, but none of the others” You say.

Nick looks at you like you were a precious child that was too innocent to understand.

“Do I Wanna Know, R U Mine, One for the Road, Party Anthem, I Want It All, and if we’re counting the era Electricity is and Stop the world is obviously about you” Jamie lists them off on his fingers

“How is it obviously about me?” You asked, having none of it.

It had never even gone through your mind that any of these songs would be about anyone other than Arielle. She was with him whilst they recorded the songs to put on the album.

“Are you joking doesn’t the Stop the World’s lyrics literally go ‘Getting you alone isn’t easy to do’? Because me, Nick, and Matt were always around when you came to see us” Jamie makes his first point to you and it stuns you into silence.

“Dislikes everyone in the room…” Jamie quotes the next line but then shrugs.  

“Speaks for itself that one” He says before glancing towards his mate in the kitchen who was definitely earwigging.

“Then what is it? Oh, ‘Doesn’t wanna tell you the truth’ because he didn’t, because he always thought your flirting was a joke” Jamie drops another bomb.

Nick takes over this time to tell you, “He always said that you left too soon whenever we saw you even when we were out till daylight”

“And he’s wanted to get off with you since we were sixteen” Jamie makes his final point, finishing off the chorus of the song.

“The album may have come out just after he broke up with Arielle, but he wrote most of the songs before he even got with her” Jamie tells you and that was when it hit you.

You went cold. Freezing cold.

You couldn’t believe it. All of your favourite songs were about you.

You were deadly silent and when Alex came back in you looked up at him your face still held complete shock.

“Is he being serious?” You ask.

You saw him nod and look at you cautiously. You murmur a ‘thank you’ as you take your tea off him.

“I… I don’t know what to say” You stumble on your words a bit as you watch as Alex sits back down next to you.

You really weren’t expecting that today. Or any day for that matter.

“You don’t have to say anything. They are what they are. You helped me a lot more than you actually know, but you don’t have to say anything” Alex says before taking the first sip of his tea.

You smile at him with your lips together and nod. You’d talk to him about it later, you didn’t want to make things awkward now.

“I fucking knew Stop The World was about you” Y/B/F carries it on though.

“How?” You ask completely baffled.

She tells you her theory, “After you came back and told me that you were together, I was listening to it and was thinking ‘yeah definitely. Got Y/N/N written all over it’”

You shake your head at her not believing her.

“I also guessed that You’re So Dark was based on that Halloween picture of you” She told the room and you shake your head.

Alex looked towards her with shock written on his face, “You’re freakishly good at knowing these things”

“You’re joking, You’re So Dark too?” You ask.

Alex smiles at you before pressing his lips together. So, he was telling you but also not.  

YBF says, “Why are you surprised? The song literally says I want you down on all fours”

“Enough about Alex and sex please” You say having enough.

She raises her eyebrows at you, “Okay I’ll remind you of that when you wanna watch 2013 Glastonbury again and you have no one to drool with”

“I’ll just shag him as I watch it. Best of both worlds then” You fire back.

“Oh. My. God” Alex says like he wants to leave the building entirely.

You all just end up laughing.

Thankfully the conversation ends up going in a completely different direction after those revelations and the conversation is pretty peaceful. That is until an hour later Y/B/F pretty much makes you all jump.

“Nick O’Malley” Y/B/F says.

“Y/B/F” He comes back just as strong but then he quickly deflates with, “I don’t know your last name”

She giggles before she starts, “I’m surprised by you”

“How come?” He questions her curiously.

She shrugs, “I don’t know, I just always got the impression that you were really shy”

“No, not shy at all… I just don’t like people, so I don’t talk to them” Nick tells her with a grin

You laugh, “Absolute mood”

~*~*~*~

The lads stayed for a few hours before they had to head off back home to their wives and children. You’d had a really nice day catching up with them and you were glad you all got on so well together.

You decided to wait until you were alone with Alex to bring up the AM thing with him. You weren’t embarrassed by it at all, you were just a little shocked.

You genuinely never expected anything like that. And you’d never thought about any of those songs that way at all.

So, the first moment you got alone with him, which happened to be on the way to his Mum and Dad’s house, you decided to bring it up. You were driving your car that you and Y/B/F shared over to Alex’s as she was walking to her Mum’s house today.

You turned the radio down a little before you started talking.

“Al about before…” You trail off for a second.

He seemed to already know what you were about to say, “You don’t have to say anything Y/N/N, Jamie shouldn’t have told you”

“No, it’s okay” You say honestly.

Now it had sunk in, you really weren’t bothered by it.

“It’s a lot for someone to take in. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut” Alex sighs, obviously annoyed and you can see in your peripherals that he shook his head.

“Alex… All I wanna say is I’m flattered and… Call me self-absorbed but I’m still going to play them on repeat, regardless of who they’re about” You tell him honesty.

You’d spent almost the last 2 years being obsessed with that album. You weren’t for a second going to change that behaviour just because you’d been told certain songs were about you.

“You’ve got it tattooed on you; I would expect nothing less” Alex smiles at you.

You quickly glance back at him and smile. Unfortunately, you can’t keep your eyes on the gorgeous man next to you as you’re forced to look back to the road.

“I have questions though” You tell him a little sheepishly.

You hear him chuckle, “I never doubted that you would“

You quickly smile at him before asking, “How is electricity about me? Because I know for a fact that I hadn’t kissed you before that night in the bar. Because I would have remembered”

“Okay before I start, I just need to tell you that when I write a song… It starts off as literally a line or two or an idea, and then I think of a storyline around it mostly... And I liked to make the ones that have pieces of you in it, a bit more hidden” Alex explains, and you nod to show that you understand him whilst keeping an eye on the Sheffield traffic.

“So, Electricity…” He begins.

“That one was just when you used to kiss my cheek for a few seconds, and I could feel it for days after… And the nicknames you called me, and the little flirting that happened… That’s what that one was about” Alex tells you and you smile.

Alex tells you, “Oh and I guess when you helped me get over Alexa, I fell for you again then cause I literally just wanted to be on the phone to you all the time”

You turn your head slightly towards him and you’re about to say something else until he takes the words straight out of your mouth.

“If want me to explain them all I will do. I’ll go through them now” Alex says, and you smile before remaining silent.

He knew you too well.

Alex says, “Do I wanna know and R U Mine speak for themselves really”

“One For The Road literally started because I remembered being sat on the floor talking to you at your house party back in the day. I think it was the time your Mum got angry at us”

“Oh my god I actually remember that now you say it” You almost gasp.

It was the night that you forgot to tidy up after your house party. But you could remember sitting on the floor next to him because there was no room left on the sofa. You were there for a long while actually just shamelessly chatting away to him.

“So, you get that I built that song around that memory of you sitting on the floor chatting to me?” Alex double checks.

You nod your head understanding a little more how he became the creative genius that was Alex Turner.

“Okay good, so I Want It All... Is that one not obvious, now you know how I write them?” He asks you.

You shake your head, “No, not at all. I’ve got no idea how it’s related to me”

Alex sits up and turns to you a little bit more asking, “Do you not remember after that Suck It And See show, that you came back on the bus and you were completely besotted with the miniature whisky’s we had in there?”

You shake your head not remembering that at all.

“You drank almost all of it Y/N” He informed you.

“Why am I an alcoholic?” You sigh.

Alex just laughs at you before continuing, “Well yeah anyway when you were leaving, you kissed my cheek before you got into the taxi back home because the bus had to leave”

“I don’t remember that at all” You say honestly. “I remember coming onto the bus with you all, but I don’t remember drinking. I mean, I know I obviously drank but I don’t remember miniature whisky at all”

“Pisshead really, aren’t you?” Alex laughs.

You just laugh too as you make your way into High Green. You were almost there now so you hoped he’d continue spilling this information until you had to get out of the car.

“Jamie told you about Stop The World…” Alex continues on.

“You’re So Dark, primarily based on that picture of you on Halloween” He told you and you still couldn’t believe that.

It was the one year that you’d ever dressed moderately slutty for Halloween by having a short black dress on. You’d literally covered yourself in fake blood though and you had a shitty Dracula cape on that you’d splattered in blood too.

“But I don’t drive a Prius or read H P Lovecraft or Edgar Allen Poe?” You glance at him, still a little confused about that one.

“Right I had to make it clever or else you’d know it was about you. And I didn’t want you knowing… And I knew you never knew you were quoting them”

“I quoted who?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“You used to quote Lovecraft and Poe all the time on your Instagram and you didn’t even know it” Alex informs you.

Oh shit.

You did used to google quotes to put as you Instagram captions back in the day. Maybe you should have fact checked.

“You love your vampire programmes and them shitty films from a few years back… And I remember your emo phase. You were always in your leather jacket and I’ll never forget that spiked collar you had”

He told you and you felt embarrassed. Mostly about the fact he was referencing really bad films that you once loved but the fact that he liked your emo phase. Most of the time you looked back at the pictures and hated them.

But you kept them on your account because there was no use in hiding from your past. You’d embraced it and one way or another it led to who you were today.

It’s another reason why you never deleted any pictures of your exes off your Instagram.

Alex continued to explain that song though, “You watch horror films which I sorta dipped into that a bit more to make it clever. But in truth I actually don’t know how you didn’t know that one was about you”

You shake your head at him, “Alex I don’t listen to your music and automatically think it’s about me. I literally only knew Knee Socks was because I used to wear knee socks like it was law”

Alex then places a hand on your thigh, which you didn’t mind about, but you knew he was doing it because he was about to make a point.

“Y/N, you used to stay on the phone to me until like four in the morning sometimes, so that’s where ‘shun the daylight’ came from” Alex tells you with raised eyebrows like you should have at least had an idea.

And he had a point.

“Alright, fair enough” You murmur before focusing on the road properly again.

Alex then decided to smugly add onto that that, “And you know I like you down on all fours”

You gulped.  

Suddenly all the memories of the different time that position had been used was brought to the forefront of your mind and you had a hard time getting rid of them

“Not whilst I’m driving Al” You scold him a bit half-heartedly and didn’t even attempt to move his hand from your thigh.

Absolutely pitiful that he got you hot and bothered just by saying that.

He chuckled to himself before giving your thigh a squeeze before carrying on.

“I think the last one is Party Anthem, and that was about a dream I had” He informs you which you found really interesting.

“I dreamt that we didn’t know each other but you were there in the bar and I fully tried my hardest to pull you but…” Alex pauses for a second.

And from a quick glance over at him, you think that it’s because he was trying to remember the dream.

After a few seconds, he starts again, “You were in this bar looking stunning in this long black dress that you were in. And all I can remember other than that, is that I really wanted to get you back home with me and nothing else mattered…

“So that one was about me literally longing for you at this bar whilst everything else went on around us and I just didn’t care… Because I was there with you” Alex smiled at the memory of it.

“Did you get me?” You couldn’t help but ask with a smile on your lips.

“I woke up just as we were about to get to it. I was so fucking annoyed” Alex chuckled.

You shake your head at him as you pull into a space just outside his Mum and Dad’s house.

“Why’d you think I was so hesitant when I answered the phone when AM got released and you called me up?” Alex smiles at you as he watches as you park the car and turn the ignition off.

You undo your seatbelt before turning to look at him and sweetly smile at him. You see that he had a hair out of place that you knew would bug him, so you lent over and moved it out of his face for him.

“You’re actually the cutest Alex” You say as you comb your fingers through his hair.

It was purely out of habit at this point, messing with his hair. You loved it and you knew he did too, so he had no issue with you maintaining his vanity for him.  

“Why?” He chuckles before leaning in to kiss you.

You kiss his soft lips a few times before pulling away to answer his question.

“I don’t know… I’m just… Very flattered” You took your time to think of the right words.  

“Like, even when we were just talking on the phone normally, I never thought that we were chatting anything but shit like we usually do” You laugh, “Obviously we had our serious chats, but I didn’t ever think that it would be worthy enough for you to write a song or five about”

Alex chuckles at your little joke before taking a hold of one of your hands.

“You have no idea what you’ve always done to me love” Alex smiles at you before moving that hand he had a hold of and placing it against his chest.

As soon as he’d made you do that, you could feel his rapid heartbeat was.

“I think mine’s faster” You say grabbing his hand and placing it just about your heart.

Alex silently feels your chest hammering away for a few seconds and you can see his shock in his face.

“I do that to you?” Alex’s asked in disbelief, your heartbeat felt faster than his.

You smile at him, “You always have”

It was cheesy to admit, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t true.

“Tell me, how we were just friends for so long again?” Alex asks before removing his hand from your chest and holds your hand once more.

You chuckle, “I really don’t know”

“As long as you keep flirting with me for the next sixty years, I think my heart will always beat that fast for you” Alex admits with a cute grin.

“Jesus, I might have to stop because I don’t want you to die on me” You joke, grinning back at him.

Alex leans back in for a final kiss before getting out of the car, “Where’s the fun when there’s not a little bit of risk, ey?”

You laugh but shout after him, “That was disgustingly cheesy”

~*~*~*~

Another week goes by and in that week, you’d had some surprisingly good news. As it turned out, the company that you currently worked for was opening its second building out in America and thankfully that building was being opened in LA.

Your superior who you’d handed your notice too last week, came up to you at work and asked for a chat in her office. You of course agreed thinking she would be making another plea for you to stay with the company but surprisingly she gave you even better news.

She’d heard though different people that you were leaving because you were moving to America. So once she asked what area you were moving to, she breathed a sigh of relief. She then basically offered you the job to start over there in the same role you were in now but over in America.

You jumped at that chance with a quick phone call to Alex in between just to check if it was alright with him that you wouldn’t be starting till later in the year. But he of course said it was fine and that he was so beyond happy for you.

Everything seemed to be going great for you both and you’d started slowly packing the things you wanted to take back with you. You obviously didn’t need to take everything as you would be back over here to see your family and Y/B/F more than once a year.

So, you’d had a busy week to say the least. You were tying up loose ends at work and making sure everyone was catered for and then the only thing you had to do was find a suitable replacement for you at work.

You had two weeks to do that and then you were free until the end of October. The building was due to open in LA the last week of October which Alex was buzzing about because you could both celebrate your first week at work by going to his fancy Halloween party.

Apparently, he’d already got his outfit planned and he had ideas for him with how you could match. You dread to think what he had in mind but you loved Halloween so you would definitely be taking part.

In truth you couldn’t wait to get back to LA. You were ready for a change and ready to start a life with Alex.

You loved that he was who you were coming home to every night after work. You loved that he never failed to make you smile and give you a kiss every chance he got.

It made you so happy that he got on with Y/B/F really well. It was so strange to see them interacting with each other when you came home from work.

You’d come home one day during the week to see them both lay on the opposite sofas both watching the first Avengers film together and they were both talking about how pretty Scarlett Johansson was.

Something which Alex went all red about when you creeped over to him and called him out on it. He then proceeded to pull you down on top of him, still in your work outfit, so you were forced to watch it with him.

You slotted yourself into the small space between him and the back of the sofa and you all watched it together. It turned from appreciating Scarlett Johansson to Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans and even Tom Hiddleston.

When the weekend arrived, you spent your Saturday practically doing the same thing. It was lashing it down with rain all day, so you were all having a movie day.

You spent half the day cuddling your best friend and the other half cuddling Alex. You only went over to him though when you were continuing with your Marvel marathon and he got jealous of you gawking over Chris Hemsworth.

And the cuddling didn’t stop later that night when you’d both decided to head off to bed.

Despite doing nothing all day you were both knackered when you went to bed and you couldn’t wait to get to get to sleep.

It was 1am so it wasn’t really late, but you were usually awake till 2am minimum. So, as you were getting into bed an hour before usual, you couldn’t wait to get to sleep.

You were that tired that as you got changed, you didn’t even longingly look at your boyfriend as he stripped himself down. You just got yourself into your pyjamas and got into bed.

Once Alex joins you under the covers, you cuddle yourself into his body. You were both on your sides facing each other with your head tucked under his chin and buried into his neck.

Alex can feel your tired breaths on his neck, and he hugs you closer to him. You yawn slightly and feel sleep taking you over.

Alex smiles to himself hearing your yawn. He starts twirling your hair around his fingers as you slowly slip further into sleep.

Only when Alex feels you release a deep breath, he leant down and kissed the top of your head and says a soft, “Goodnight Y/N/N” knowing you’d be asleep soon so you wouldn’t have heard him if he’d waited any longer.

Your lips brush against his neck as you tiredly reply, “Night Al, love you”

Alex was slightly taken aback by that, but it didn’t stop him from saying it back immediately.

“Love you too” Was his reply and he was so relieved he could finally say it.

He’s loved you for a long while and he’d wanted to say it the first day you were his.

You smiled at what he said but you didn’t fully process his words until a minute later when it clicked, and your eyes opened. You moved back so you could look at him and he looked down at you to meet your gaze.

“Did I just? Did we just?” You stumble on your words confused.

You genuinely had no clue whether you’d just dreamed that or not.

Alex chuckled at that before he lent down and kissed you quickly.

“Yeah” He smiled.  

You close your eyes feeling like a moron.

“I’m sorry, I’m so stupid. It’s not even been two months” You say before covering your face with your hands.

“Ey, none of that” Alex says before moving your hands out of the way.

Once he can see your beautiful face again he says, “Two months or not. I love you all the same”

You let out a sigh of relief. Thank god he said it back or you would have wanted to die.

“I love you Alex. I really do” You tell him properly.

Alex grinned at you before leaning down to kiss you. You both couldn’t get the smiles off your faces even as you kissed.

“I love you too baby” Alex said before pulling you back into him and held you the tiniest bit closer before kissing the top of your head again.

Hearing that fall from his lips gave you goosebumps. You don’t think you’d loved anyone the way you loved him.

And he was here. He was yours.

And he loved you.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The following Saturday was nowhere near as cute.

You’d been lay in bed all day in pain thanks to your period making an appearance.

Thankfully, Alex hadn’t been with you all day as he’d gone out early for a full day with his Mum and Dad, so you were grateful that he hadn’t seen you in the mood that you’d been in.

The same couldn’t be said for Y/B/F as when you’d dozed back off to sleep around noon, she’d come in, jumped on your bed to wake you up and you’d snapped at her. You did apologise because you were really ratty with her, but she knew you got like this sometimes especially on your first day of extreme pain.

Y/B/F knew to give you your space after that and you only ventured into the lounge where she was residing when you got yourself something to eat and drink. Which you didn’t do much of as you collected a few cans of Fanta Fruit Twist on your first trip to the kitchen.

So, you ended up spending the majority of the day in your room with your TV on watching The Office US to pass the time. The programme put you in a slightly better mood, but you were still feeling moody in your bed all day.

You hadn’t even been on your phone all day just because you knew it would piss you off looking at people having a better time than you were having.

You were currently up to the episode in The Office where Dwight, Michael and Andy were doing parkour and despite it being hilarious you weren’t even laughing because of how awful your body currently felt.

You heard the front door close over the volume of your TV and you looked at your clock to see that it was 17:47 which meant that it would probably be Alex coming back. You’d let him use your car this morning because you knew that you and Y/B/F weren’t planning on going anywhere today so he may as well have made use of the vehicle.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to get up to go and greet him though. You’d only just got yourself into a comfy position where the pain had stopped, and you didn’t want it to come back. You were due to take more tablets to dull the pain even more, yet you didn’t move.

You hadn’t even texted Y/B/F because you still felt bad about before.

Y/B/F turned around to look at Alex as he came through the front door and she said a quick, “Hey”

“Hello, you have an alright day?” Alex asks her as he quickly gets himself a beer out of the fridge.

After a long day with his Mum and Dad he just needed to relax.

“Yeah it’s been alright apart from the love of your life biting my head off” Y/B/F giggled.

Alex laughed at that. He then followed up on what he’d just been told with, “Why what happened?”

“She’d on her period and is the rattiest person in the world the first day when she’s in pain so she bit my head off when I went in to chat to her”

Alex shakes his head not even surprised.

He remembered you being ratty in high school and when anyone questioned you about your mood, you’d just be completely honest and tell them it was period pain. A tactic that seemed to work because people were too embarrassed by your answer to carry on talking to you.

“She’s still in there?” Alex asked her as he walked into the lounge.  

Y/B/F nods with a smile before turning back towards the TV. Alex heads towards your closed bedroom door and he laughs when your best friend warns him, “Good luck with the she devil”

Alex walks into your room chuckling to himself as he closes the door behind him. He turns to see you lay flat on your stomach across the bed.

Your head is buried into your pillow with one eye slightly on show looking up towards the TV that shows The Office. Just from here Alex could tell that you were in pain as you’d not even murmured a hello to him.

Alex puts his beer down on your desk before moving round the bed so he could crouch down in front of you to see if you were alright.

“Hey, love, are you okay?” He asked as he tucked a strand of your hair, that was lay over your face, behind your ear.

You gave him a little smile as he then stroked your cheek for a few seconds before you shook your head and release a little groan to answer his question.

“What’s up?” He asked you, pretending that he didn’t know.

You just snuggled into your pillow a bit more feeling sorry for yourself, also not really wanting him to see you moody.

“Ey, look at me” Alex softly cooed until your full face was on show.

He gave you a grin seeing your tired face. He coaxed a little smile from you before giving you a sweet kiss which definitely made your smile get a bit bigger.

After he pulled away, he looked at you in a way you recognised that he was asking if you were okay.

You murmur into the pillow, “I’m on my period Al and I feel like I’m about to die”

Alex chuckled at your exaggeration and asked you, “Is that it?”

You frowned at him before you went to playfully hit his arm, but you quickly realised you didn’t have the energy or capability to move without it hurting so you just stopped.

“Jesus, you just be in pain” Alex chuckled seeing the anger flash through your eyes at what he said but then it quickly dissipated.

You start whining then, “It honestly feels like I’m being flayed from the inside out”

“A bit extreme that love” Alex said raising his eyebrows at you as if you were being stupid.

He was just joking with you and you knew he was, so you pouted at him.

“Until you’ve been through it you can’t comment” You grumble.

Alex then laughs a little as he stands up and kisses your forehead after he gets back to his feet.

“You may as well have stayed with your family Alex; I’m going to be like this all night” You tell him starting to feel bad that you’re inevitably going to be moody with him too.

Alex makes his way to the other side of the bed before he lays down next to you. He hugs you from behind which you find very cute and he kisses the top of your head again.

He says into your ear, “Why are you trying to get rid of me when I could be helping you?”

“Didn’t think you’d wanna be lay in bed with me being grumpy all night” You tell him honestly.

“It’s no different to any usual night then is it” Alex says in a serious tone but he’s joking with you.

You scoff, “You’re so nasty”

Alex just laughed at that.

“You know I’m joking. Please tell me how I can help” Alex said rubbing your back that was still covered with your pyjama top.

Of course you’d stayed in your pyjamas all day.  

“Can you please get me more Paracetamol and Ibuprofen from the kitchen please and another can out of the fridge?” You plead with him.

Alex smiled before kissing your head again and he said, “Okay”

He very kindly went and got you the painkillers for you and once you’d thanked him you made as few movements as you could to take them, so the pain didn’t come back. Of course, that didn’t work though so you ended up wincing in pain again.

Alex was sat on the bed next to you when he asked, “Where does it hurt?”

“My uterus” You tell him as you lay back down on your stomach, but you look towards him this time.

Alex snorted at that answer.

“Other than there” He chuckled.

You tell him, “My stomach and back are killing me”

“I could give you a back message if you want?” Alex graciously offered.

You think about it for a second but then decide against it.

“Tempting, but it’ll make me wanna have sex with you, and I don’t wanna do that” You say honestly, and you see his brown eyes spark with mischief.

“I meannn”

“No” You say very quickly.

“Definitely not. No thanks, I’ve already said that I love you too soon I’m not having sex with you on my period that soon too” You tell him before you chuckle, “You either get one or the other”

Alex laughs at that. “Well, you tell me to stop just before you want to fuck me and I’ll either keep going or stop” He teases a little.  

“Alex” You say sternly.

“I’ll stop I promise” Alex says before manoeuvring himself, so he was pretty much straddling your arse.

You give in, “Fine, but please be gentle with me”

Alex laughs as he pushes your top up your back, so he had access to your skin. For once you were warm for him to touch.

Probably because he’d just had a beer in his hand and the fact that you’d been in bed all day.

“Words that have never left your mouth before” Alex mumbled with a grin, but he’d said it loud enough for you to hear.

“Wow, are you trying to make me hit you today?” You scoff tying to look around at him as you felt his hands start rubbing your lower back.  

Alex smiled at you, “You’ve got to be nice to me now. I’m in control of this massage and I know how to get you worked up”

“Please don’t” You plead.

“Be nice then love” He said as his hands started working on your lower back.

After about 5 minutes of him working his magic on you, you felt a lot better. You chatted about his day with his Mum and Dad and how he’d gone with them to see his Grandma and his other Grandad.

He said that he’d had a really nice day with his family around him as some of his cousins had shown up too who were a similar age to the both of you. Apparently one of them had mentioned you and how he followed your Instagram which Alex them called him a stalker for.

Alex told you that his cousins’ comeback was something along the lines of, “It’s not stalking, I just think she’s fucking fit”. You laughed at that just imagining Alex trying not to be jealous or biting his tongue, so he didn’t say something he’d regret.

You also jokingly agreed with him when he told you that his cousin apparently called him a ‘lucky man’. But in truth you were the lucky one.

You were about to go and start a life with him. And yeah it was all a bit quick and sudden after nearly two months but if two people love each other as much as the two of you seemed to, you didn’t think that there was anything you wouldn’t do to try and make it work.

You were also really lucky because as his fingers were working the aches in your muscles away and your pain started to dissipate. But you didn’t tell him because you wanted him to carry on.

This was the most relaxed you’d felt all day.

Once he’d finished telling you about his day, a comfortable silence fell between the two of you and the only noise in the room was the TV blaring away. But a comfortable silence when you’re in the presence of someone you love was overrated, so you start chatting to him again.

“Alex” You get his attention.

“Yeah?”

“How are you so good at everything?” You ask, really enjoying the feeling of his fingers massaging your skin.

Alex hums in amusement before saying, “I’m not, I just know you. I know what you like“

“But you’re still so good at it. I love those magic hands” You smile into the pillow.

Alex laughed at that as he carried on rubbing your skin, “Do you have a thing for hands or something?”

“Just for yours” You tell him, and Alex laughs again.

A few seconds pass before he asks you, “How are you feeling?”

“A little better” You hesitantly say because you didn’t really want him to stop.

“Do you want me to carry on?” Alex asked picking up on the fact that you seemed to be enjoying this.

“Mhhhh yeah, please do” You laugh a little.  

You fall into conversation about your day, and you tell him that you’d literally done fuck all and just tried to sleep your pain away. He jokingly scorned you because about watching The Office all day without him which ended up in you promising him a full day watching it at some point back in LA.

As you talked about life back in LA though you felt Alex repeat a movement on your lower back that resulted in you arching your back. He’d done it once before, so you didn’t know whether he knew he was doing it accidentally or not.

So, you decide to ask, “Are you doing that on purpose?”

“Doing what?” Alex questions as he pushes from the small of your back up your spine with his thumbs.  

You giggle as you arch your back again. He was definitely doing it on purpose.

“How do you know to do that?” You ask him.

“I know a lot about you and how you move” Alex tells you as if he’s proud of that knowledge.

You say “Oh right” in a way that suggests you didn’t believe him.

So, Alex decided to show you that he actually knew you like the back of his hand.

“I’ll demonstrate. If I do this…” Alex saying as he grabs your unsuspecting hips, “Your stomach always tenses and you inhale” and he wasn’t wrong you did exactly that.

Then you felt him lean forward over your body and you felt him move your hair to one side of your neck. He touches the bit of your neck that’s just under your ear and near your jaw and says, “You like it that much when I kiss you there, that your jaw always falls”

You hummed in satisfaction when he kissed you there and he nipped down on your skin which like he said made your jaw drop.

“Alex” You whine, knowing he was trying to get you a little worked up.

“You also really like saying my name whenever I do anything, and I love it” Alex said huskily in your ear and you loved it.

“I love you” You say as you roll yourself over so you’re now facing him and he’s still hovering over you.

Alex smiles and leans down to kiss you. You smile into the kiss and throw your arms around his neck, so he stays there for a little while.

You would definitively never get tired of kissing him. It had definitely become your favourite way to pass the time.

Alex pulls away and brushes your nose with his and says, “I love you too”

You smile up at him and you start to feel his fingertips trail down your body. Once he finds the bare skin on your stomach, from your top being pulled up, he slowly trails his fingertips down to the top of your joggers.

Yes, last night you’d slept in your joggers because they were so cosy and warm.

You sharply inhale as you feel his fingertips dance across your lower stomach.

He ask looking at you suggestively, “Do you want to know what else you do?”

You silently chuckle and shake your head at him. “I think you’ve had your fun for today” You say as you reach down and stop him from teasing you.

Alex pouts down at you but you just chuckle and say, “Thank you for making me feel better”

“Anything for you” He smiles before he leans down and kisses you again.

“Now, come on big decisions have to be made for the rest of the night now?” Alex says with a smile. He was back to being cute now.

“Oh right?” You ask him curiously as he hovers above you. That gorgeous chain dangling from his neck again, begging to be pulled so you could kiss him again.

Something which you restrained yourself from doing.

You actually paid attention to Alex when he asked you, “Yes, Dominos or Pizza Hut for tea? And for our classic movie night, are we watching Terminator or Blade Runner?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist” @the-girl-before @murderousginger @minigranger @turnertable @bastillewolf @slothgiirl @billskarsgard-is-gorgeous @watashi-no-namae-wo-yonde @fookingsummertime @marvel-avengers01 @shibuikelsi @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo @gretavanbobatea @chocolatecig @iamnotjesha @rachaeljayne15 @edgythought @when-the-darkness-comes​ @angelicnobody​ @marveious​ @liviasaugusta​ @boysinskirts​ @musicmania100​ @he4rtbre4khotel​ @innocte​ @beckauhhh​​ @whoknowswhatimeant​ @tony-starks-ego​ @tobarmaidswhodontcount​ @elektranxtchiios​  @bettyschwallocksyee​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​ @cornerstqne​ @halfofwhatisayismeaningless​ @juicebox-baby​ @yousuck-marina​ @nrldswita​ @dot-writes​ @skullag​ @arctic-bloe​ 

Other parts can be found in Masterlist in bio x

[bastillewolf]

Midnight In Sheffield (III)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: When a soon-to-be-wedded insomniac author heads back home to visit her parents, she comes across the likes of a mysterious musician whilst on her sleepless escapade in the AM.

Notes: Took a bit longer to edit this chapter, and made it longer. Hope you enjoy!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

@alexbandguy86​​​​​ @bettyschwallocksyee​​​​​ @fookingsummertime​​​​​ @juicebox-baby​​​@darksydork7​​​​ @edgythought​​​ @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo​

Song recommendation: ‘Bistro Fada’ by Stephane Wrembel

Chapter III - No. 1 Party Anthem

It couldn’t be.

Surely, she hadn’t been that drunk.

If so, she would’ve felt more than embarrassed.

She was standing in the very street she had wandered through the night before, yet nothing seemed familiar. There were no vintage sales, or shops for that matter, or Ford Roadsters that were illuminated by the antique streetlights perched on cobblestone roads.

Instead, she was faced with boring old Sheffield; cracked and bruised asphalt. A few clothing stores and a newspaper office. There was one pub, but not the one she’d been looking for.

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Mark said.

“I- Uh, yeah. I could’ve- I could’ve sworn it was here,” she stuttered in response.

“The pub you went to?”

She nodded silently.

“Maybe you went in a different direction. You were tired, happens to the best of us.”

She shot him a look. “I grew up here, Mark. I know my way around this place like the back of my hand, yet that street I went into… I’d never seen it before in my entire life.”

“Hm, strange,” he noted. She knew he was mostly humouring her, and couldn’t shake off the feeling he had been judging her ever since they talked over what happened. It must look crazy, she realized, but to her that was no excuse to not be understanding. He was to be her husband, after all, and weren’t those things most important in a healthy relationship?

“Call me crazy if you want, but I’m telling you; I went to a different pub last night.”

“I know, I believe you.”

She gave a slight sigh of relief.

“Now, come on, let’s go find a restaurant, because we’re not going to that pub on an empty stomach.”

 They had searched all over town, with Mark generously tipping the cabby to take them everywhere they wanted. Not necessarily an odd request, but when she started to ask the driver about an old pub with the exact descriptions, - not failing to mention that smoking had been allowed - he gave her a strange look and told her he’d never heard of such a place before.

He must know, as he’d worked as a cabby for ages.

And so, she was currently sat at a random local bar Mark picked out, slumped in her seat, while her fiancée chatted on with Rachel and James. She couldn’t even bring herself to be annoyed with the pair, her mind too clouded to think of anything other than that very clear night.

She touched Mark’s shoulder, and muttered in his ear that she was going back to the hotel.

He nodded, “I’ll text you when I’m coming back. Don’t stay up too late.”

She smiled lightly, and kissed him on the cheek, before slipping out of the door, and leaving the musky scene behind her.

She didn’t really pay attention to where she was going. She was staring down at her feet, which kept their leisure pace on the tiled sidewalk.

She didn’t even bother giving the man in a tracksuit she nearly bumped into a second glance, or the dog that barked at her.

She walked up the few steps, through an alley, until she rounded a corner and was back at what appeared to be the main street. Only then did she actually bump into someone.

“You just keep appearing out of nowhere, don’t you?”

“Miles?”

She rubbed her tired eyes, until the flickering had disappeared, and she could look around again.

A cobblestone street, antique metal streetlights and shop windows filled with antique wear. The man that stood in front of her wore the same suit as yesterday, but without the tie and the top buttons of his shirt undone.

She couldn’t help but throw her arms around his neck in relief.

He huffed in surprise, “Good to see you again too, love. Hope that man of yours hasn’t been treating you poorly again, has he?”

“I’m just relieved to see you again,” she replied, avoiding his question, “I can’t believe I didn’t find this street earlier this afternoon! I went looking all over the place for it! Even asked a cabby, but he didn’t know what I was talking about. I’m so glad I found you.”

A mysterious glint flashed across his eyes. “Look for me, did ya? Worry not, love. You can always find me prancing about in the AM. I’ll most likely still be in bed in the afternoons. Best stay away from me then.”

She snorted as he linked her arm with hers and followed his lead into the pub, missing the way he’d given her a worried glance as she tried to memorize the name of the residence, which was painted in a neat cursive on the sign above it.

Mardy Bum.

 “Taken that bird with you again, Miles?” Alex asked from his seat at the wooden table, his foot sliding a chair out for each of them from underneath the table.

“Couldn’t help myself, Al. I just keep running into her. It’s like fate.”

“Call it fate or whatever you want, mate, but there’s no hiding you’ve always fancied the married girls.”

“Sorry, could you repeat that for me?” Miles held a hand to his ear facetiously. “I couldn’t hear you over the tune of ‘The Bad Thing’.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Are you playing cards with us, or what?”

Miles looked back at her, waiting for her answer. She shrugged, “As long as it’s not strip poker.”

“Shame,” one of the other men at the table muttered, who she recognized from the previous night as Alex’s drummer.

“This is Matt, by the way,” Miles pointed at him, before turning to the other two band members. “And that’s Jamie, and Nick. You remember them from yesterday, no?”

“Of course, you put up a great show.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere in a game of cards, love,” Matt teased, as he shuffled the deck of cards like he’d do every evening.

 And so, the night went on, filled with light and pleasant conversation, and a few more antsy rounds of cards. The beer gradually switched to something stronger, which she identified as a very fine whiskey. Not wanting to think about their tab yet which was bound to arrive at the end of the night, she enjoyed the smooth liquid burning her throat, and beat Jamie once again at his own game.

“I don’t like her,” he grumbled.

“Don’t be petty, Jamie. It’s not her fault you’re shit at cards,” Matt said.

“I’m not shit! I won last time!”

“Last time we let you win because it was your birthday,” Alex smoothly chimed in.

“What?!”

Matt burst out laughing at the guitarist’s aghast facial expression, and she noted even Alex himself smirked along with the merriment. She had only known him for two evenings, but from the lack of lines around his mouth, he didn’t seem like he smiled often, so it was nice to be graced with one.

What she did want to be able to unsee was the way he kept looking at her over the deck in his hands with those dark brown eyes. It made her squirm a bit in her seat.

“So, if we asked you to write an autobiography on the band, would you do it?” Nick asked. She’d told them about her career path, and how she hadn’t been able to write anything for a long while.

“I mean, if that’s what you’d want.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Matt quickly intervened.

“Well, why not?”

“She’d never believe us,” Alex drawled.

She met his eyes once more, and they looked awfully calm.

“No offence, but unless you’re going to tell me you go to Hogwarts and practice magic, I’m afraid you can’t say much that makes me find the story of a band who plays in pubs unrealistic.”

“A band who plays in pubs?! You must be joking,” the bartender suddenly intervened, setting the glass down which he had been drying with a towel for the past half hour. “They’re the most famous band in England! Even have their records played in America, they do. I’m lucky they still play in here, or it wouldn’t be so packed every Friday night.”

“We’d never abandon this place, John. This is where we became men and had our first beverages as adults,” Jamie said, raising his glass.

“Don’t play the fool with me, Jamie. You’d had too many pints before you got drunk to be a first-time drinker, and I’ve seen you sneak through the back when you were younger.”

“I didn’t know there was a certain age you’re supposed to be,” Alex quipped.

“Cause nobody told me!” Miles suddenly shouted, rising from his chair and humming a tune to himself as he cradled his drink closer to his chest.

“For the last time, Miles, if you’re going to dance, please find yourself a partner that isn’t the alcohol.”

The man in question pursed his lips thoughtfully at Alex. “Great idea, mate. I’m gunna take a piss and when I get back, I’ll have found my partner.”

He stumbled off in the direction of the restroom, and the group shared a look, for the hour was growing late and they were the only ones left in the pub.

“Sorry about Miles. He gets awfully vague when he’s drunk,” Nick told her.

She smiled. “Don’t worry about it, I’m having a laugh. I wish I could spend the whole night here. Haven’t had this much fun in a while.”

She noticed Matt trying to subtly glance down at his watch, which was close to striking 3 AM. “Probably not the best idea, love. I think it’s time to go home.”

Alex gave him a look. “Why? She could stay a bit longer, wouldn’t hurt anyone,” he slurred.

“You know why.”

“My fair lady!”

Their heads turned towards the back of the bar, where Miles had gotten down on one knee in front of a mop perched in a dirty bucket. “Please, grace me with a dance.”

The silence that followed seemed to be the cue for Miles to think the mop had accepted his offer, and for Matt to definitely call it a night.

Nick and Jamie helped Miles across the street – after managing to pry the ‘fair lady’ from his arms –  while Matt chatted away with John as he was closing the bar, and she was suddenly left alone with the singer himself.

“May I walk you home?” He asked her. “No funny business, I promise.” Though he’d held his hands up in surrender, the action was contradicted by the mischievous glint in his orbs.

“Sure,” she replied, and a very small part of her wished she had just said ‘no’.

 “So, since you’re famous and all,” she started, her gaze trained upon the way her feet carefully stepped on the individual stones cemented into the street’s dirt. “Have I heard any of your songs before? What were you guys called again?”

“I don’t think you would have. And we’re called the Arctic Monkeys.”

She raised her brow, the name sounding vaguely familiar.

“Stupid name, I know.”

“No,” she quickly said, “Not at all, actually. It’s somehow… Very fitting.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

 She smiled at him, until her eyes turned up to the sky, which was filled with flickering lights in the darkest of blues. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”

He hummed. “You must not be one to stay up late often, then. It’s beautiful, sure. But not the best sight I’ve ever seen.”

“What is the best sight you’ve ever seen?”

He studied her for a moment, and couldn’t tell if he was deciding on whether to answer her or not, or thinking of long-lost memories. “France. On the countryside. I’ve been all around the world, but that one night – probably caused by the empty bottles of tequila, might I add – was incomparable. Starry, with a really thin crescent moon in the sky, which Jamie described as ‘the moon’s side boob’. I thought that was quite profound. So, I wrote it down. Might even slip it into a song one day.”

The corners of her lips quirked up mischievously, the tingling sensation of the alcohol running through her system finally catching up with her. “Sing me a song, Alex.”

“A song?”

“Yesss,” she pleaded.

“Not sure your husband would agree with that.”

“He’s out and about with Mark and Rachel. Said he’d text me if he’d get back. I think we’ve got time.”

There was a quiver in his stride. “A text, you say?”

She nodded absentmindedly. “Anyways, he’s not my husband, so being serenaded isn’t illegal just yet.”

He let out a chuckle, but it was short-lived. “Could you humour me for a bit?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Could you tell me who’s the ruler of England right now?”

“What?”

“Just- Just answer the question, please.”

“The… the queen.”

“Ah.”

“I didn’t get that wrong, did I? I’m quite plastered, I’m afraid.”

“No, not at all. Perhaps we do have to save that serenade for another night, though.”

They’d halted, but the building in front of them was not one she recognized, and the route they’d taken too short to have been able to get to the hotel. “I don’t think this is-“

He kissed her on the cheek, more gently than she would’ve expected, which left her hanging with her mouth slightly open, numb from sudden surprise.

“Have a good night, love.”

He spared her one last glance, until he turned, and walked back through the dark and deserted street.

She sort of stumbled through the doors, and her eyes widened at the sight, for she was back in her hotel, and when she looked outside, she no longer met with the cobblestone street, but only the cracked asphalt of New Sheffield.

[hikingmysteries]

The (”Mostly Harmless”) Nameless Hiker

Arguably the biggest hiking story of 2020, the tale actually starts a few years ago. Though we love researching and writing our own pieces for Hiking Mysteries, it is tough to top Nicholas Thompson’s article from Wired magazine. So, here it is, along with images.

A Nameless Hiker and the Case the Internet Can’t Crack

The man on the trail went by “Mostly Harmless." He was friendly and said he worked in tech. After he died in his tent, no one could figure out who he was.

IN APRIL 2017, a man started hiking in a state park just north of New York City. He wanted to get away, maybe from something and maybe from everything. He didn’t bring a phone; he didn’t bring a credit card. He didn’t even really bring a name. Or at least he didn’t tell anyone he met what it was.

He did bring a giant backpack, which his fellow hikers considered far too heavy for his journey. And he brought a notebook, in which he would scribble notes about Screeps, an online programming game. The Appalachian Trail runs through the area, and he started walking south, moving slowly but steadily down through Pennsylvania and Maryland. He told people he met along the way that he had worked in the tech industry and he wanted to detox from digital life. Hikers sometimes acquire trail names, pseudonyms they use while deep in the woods. He was “Denim” at first, because he had started his trek in jeans. Later, it became “Mostly Harmless,” which is how he described himself one night at a campfire. Maybe, too, it was a reference to Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Early in the series, a character discovers that Earth is defined by a single word in the guide: harmless. Another character puts in 15 years of research and then adds the adverb. Earth is now “mostly harmless.”

By summer, the hiker was in Virginia, where he walked about a hundred miles with a 66-year-old woman who went by the trail name Obsidian. She taught him how to make a fire, and he told her he was eager to see a bear. On December 1, Mostly Harmless had made it to northern Georgia, where he stopped in a store called Mountain Crossings. A veteran hiker named Matt Mason was working that day, and the two men started talking. Mostly Harmless said that he wanted to figure out a path down to the Florida Keys. Mason told him about a route and a map he could download to his phone. “I don’t have a phone,” Mostly Harmless replied. Describing the moment, Mason remembers thinking, “Oh, this guy’s awesome.” Everyone who goes into the woods is trying to get away from something. But few people have the commitment to cut their digital lifelines as they put on their boots.

Mason printed the 60 pages of the map and sold it to Mostly Harmless for $5 cash, which the hiker pulled from a wad of bills that Mason remembers being an inch thick. Mason loves hikers who are a little bit different, a little bit strange. He asked Mostly Harmless if he could take a picture. Mostly Harmless hesitated but then agreed. He then left the shop and went on his way. Two weeks later, Mason heard from a friend in Alabama who had seen Mostly Harmless hiking through a snowstorm. “He was out there with a smile on his face, walking south,” Mason recalls.

By the last week of January, he was in northern Florida, walking on the side of Highway 90, when a woman named Kelly Fairbanks pulled over to say hello. Fairbanks is what is known as a “trail angel,” someone who helps out through-hikers who pass near her, giving them food and access to a shower if they want. She was out looking for a different hiker when she saw Mostly Harmless. She pulled over, and they started to chat. He said that he had started in New York and was heading down to Key West. She asked if he was using the Florida Trail App, and he responded that he didn’t have a phone.

Fairbanks took notice of his gear—which was a mix of high-end and generic, including his black-and-copper trekking poles. And she was struck by his rugged, lonely look. “He had very kind eyes. I saw the huge beard first and thought, ‘It’s an older guy.’ But his eyes were so young, and he didn’t have crow's feet. I realized he was a lot younger.” She was concerned though, the way she used to be concerned about her two younger brothers. The trail could be confusing, and it wouldn’t be long before everything started getting intolerably hot and muggy. “I remembered him because I was worried,” she added.

Six months later and 600 miles south, on July 23, 2018, two hikers headed out into the Big Cypress National Preserve. The humidity was oppressive, but they trudged forward, crossing swamps, tending aching feet, and dodging the alligators and snakes. About 10 miles into their journey, they stopped to rest their feet at a place called Nobles Camp. There they saw a yellow tent and a pair of boots outside. Something smelled bad, and something seemed off. They called out, then peered through the tent’s windscreen. An emaciated, lifeless body was looking up at them. They called 911.

“Uh, we just found a dead body.”

IT’S USUALLY EASY to put a name to a corpse. There’s an ID or a credit card. There’s been a missing persons report in the area. There’s a DNA match. But the investigators in Collier County couldn’t find a thing. Mostly Harmless’ fingerprints didn’t show up in any law enforcement database. He hadn’t served in the military, and his fingerprints didn’t match those of anyone else on file. His DNA didn’t match any in the Department of Justice’s missing person database or in CODIS, the national DNA database run by the FBI. A picture of his face didn’t turn up anything in a facial recognition database. The body had no distinguishing tattoos.

Nor could investigators understand how or why he died. There were no indications of foul play, and he had more than $3,500 cash in the tent. He had food nearby, but he was hollowed out, weighing just 83 pounds on a 5'8" frame. Investigators put his age in the vague range between 35 and 50, and they couldn’t point to any abnormalities. The only substances he tested positive for were ibuprofen and an antihistamine. His cause of death, according to the autopsy report, was “undetermined.” He had, in some sense, just wasted away. But why hadn’t he tried to find help? Almost immediately, people compared Mostly Harmless to Chris McCandless, whose story was the subject of Into the Wild. McCandless, though, had been stranded in the Alaska bush, trapped by a raging river as he ran out of food. He died on a school bus, starving, desperate for help, 22 miles of wilderness separating him from a road. Mostly Harmless was just 5 miles from a major highway. He left no note, and there was no evidence that he had spent his last days calling out for help.

The investigators were stumped. To find out what had happened, they needed to learn who he was. So the Florida Department of Law Enforcement drew up an image of Mostly Harmless, and the Collier County investigators shared it with the public. In the sketch, his mouth is open wide, and his eyes too. He has a gray and black beard, with a bare patch of skin right below the mouth. His teeth, as noted in the autopsy, are perfect, suggesting he had good dental care as a child. He looks startled but also oddly pleased, as if he’s just seen a clown jump out from behind a curtain. The image started to circulate online along with other pictures from his campsite, including his tent and his hiking poles.

Kelly Fairbanks works at the Army and Air Force exchange store on a Florida military base. She normally monitors the CCTV cameras for shoplifters, but if there’s no one in the store she might sneak a look at Facebook. It was a quiet moment, and suddenly the picture popped into her feed. There he was: eyes wide open and looking up. She recognized the eyes and the beard. “I started freaking out,” she says. It was the kind man she’d seen on Highway 90. The sheriff’s office had also posted a photo of the hiker’s poles, and Fairbanks knew she had an image of the same man holding the same gear.

She clicked right over to the Collier County Sheriff’s Facebook page and sent in two photographs she had taken of Mostly Harmless. She got a message back immediately asking for her phone number. Soon a detective was on the line asking, “What can you tell me?”

She told him everything she knew. And she shared the original post, and her photo, all over Facebook. Soon there were dozens of people jumping in. They had seen the hiker too. They had journeyed with him for a few hours or a few days. They had sat at a campfire with him. There was a GoPro video in which he appeared. People remembered him talking about a sister in either Sarasota or Saratoga. They thought he had said he was from near Baton Rouge. One person remembered that he ate a lot of sticky buns; another said that he loved ketchup. But no one knew his name. When the body of Chris McCandless was found in the wilds of Alaska in the summer of 1992 without any identification, it took authorities only two weeks to figure out his identity. A friend in South Dakota, who’d known McCandless as “Alex,” heard a discussion of the story on AM radio and called the authorities. Clues followed quickly, and McCandless’ family was soon found.

Now it’s 2020, and we have the internet. Facebook knows you’re pregnant almost before you do. Amazon knows your light bulb is going to go out right before it does. Put details on Twitter about a stolen laptop and people will track down the thief in a Manhattan bar. The internet can decode family mysteries, identify long-forgotten songs, solve murders, and, as this magazine showed a decade ago, track down almost anyone who tries to shed their digital skin. This case seemed easy.

An avid Facebook group committed to figuring out his identity soon formed. Reddit threads popped up to analyze the notes he had taken for Screeps. Amateur detectives tracked down leads and tried to match photographs in missing persons databases. A massive timeline was constructed on Websleuths.com. Was it possible, one Dr. Oz viewer asked, that Mostly Harmless was a boy featured on the show who went missing in 1982? Was it possible that Mostly Harmless was a suspect in Arkansas who had murdered his girlfriend in 2017? None of the photos matched.

The story pulled people in. Everyone, at some point, has wanted to put their phone in a garbage can and head off with a fake name and a wad of cash. Here was someone who had done it and who seemed to have so much going for him: He was kind, charming, educated. He knew how to code. And yet he had died alone in a yellow tent. Maybe he had been chased by demons and had sought an ending like this. Or maybe he had just been outmatched by the wilderness and the Florida heat.

It just wasn’t a normal story in any way. And, as Fairbanks said, “he was a good-looking dude,” which, she notes, might explain why so many of the searchers are women. In mid-October, one woman in the Facebook group posted a slideshow comparing his photos to those of Brad Pitt. “Actually I think MH looks better. 😉,” one commenter wrote.

The dude, though, seemed to have followed, to near perfection, the hiker credo of “Leave no trace.” None of the clues panned out. Nothing actually got people close to solving the mystery. An industrious writer named Jason Nark spent more than a year obsessively tracking down leads and then wrote an elegy to the hiker that began, “Sometimes I imagine him falling through space, drifting like dust from dead stars in the vast nowhere above us.”

Natasha Teasley manages a canoe and kayak company in North Carolina. As business slowed when the coronavirus hit, she started to spend more time online, and she started to fill the gap in her life with the hunt for Mostly Harmless. She sent flyers to the Chambers of Commerce in every city where people thought he might have come from, including Sarasota, Florida, and Saratoga Springs, New York. She tracked down details about every car that was towed out of Harriman State Park, where he likely started his journey. She scoured missing persons databases. I asked her what motivated her to spend so much time looking for a man she’d never met. She responded achingly, “He’s got to be missed. Someone must miss this guy.”

WHEN WE THINK of DNA tests, we normally think of their miraculous ability to give us a yes or a no. The unique thread of base pairs that make us who we are exists in every cell. So we take the genetic information found at a crime scene, or in the saliva on a coffee cup, or on the hand of a deceased hiker. Then we look closely at roughly 20 chunks, or what geneticists call markers, and we search in a database of collected samples to see whether the markers match. Imagine if a book, 1 million pages long but without a cover, washed up on the shore. And then imagine you could scan one page and search all the books in a giant database to see if that exact page appeared. That’s conventional DNA testing.

But DNA also can tell the story of human history. By running a different kind of test, you get beyond yes or no and into a million variations of maybe. The genetic markers in your body are closer to those of your first cousin than your third. And they’re closer to those of your third cousin than your sixth. There’s a little bit of each generation in each of us, from our parents to our great grandparents to the early apes of the forests of Africa. So now imagine that book, and imagine that instead of comparing one page, you could compare everything in the book with everything in all other books, to find similar words, syntax, and themes. You would need complicated math and pattern tracing, but, eventually, you might figure out the author. And so, early in the summer of 2020, the organizers of the Facebook group searching for Mostly Harmless’ identity sent news about the case to a Houston company called Othram. It had been started two years earlier and pitches itself as a one-stop shop for solving cold cases.

Othram’s founder, David Mittelman, is a geneticist who had worked on the original human genome project, and he was drawn to this odd case. The company asks the public for suggestions for mysteries to solve, and that’s one of the best parts of the job. “I like doing the cases from the tip line,” Mittelman told me. “Lab work for the sake of lab work is kind of boring.” If he could crack the hiker’s identity, he’d get attention for his technology. But there was something else, too, drawing him in, a riddle he wanted to answer. The hiker seemed to have found an internet family but had no connection to his real one.

Othram called up the Collier County Sheriff’s Office and offered to help. DNA analysis is expensive, though, and the company estimated that the whole project—from evidence to answers—would cost $5,000. The sheriff's office couldn't spend that much money on a case that involved no crime. But it would love Othram’s help if there were another way to pay for the work. And so three of the great trends of modern technology—crowdfunding, amateur sleuthing, and cutting-edge genomics—combined. Within eight days, the Facebook group had raised the money to run the analysis. Soon a small piece of bone from the hiker was on its way west from Collier County to the Othram labs.

The first step for Othram’s team was to extract DNA from the bone fragment and to then analyze it to make sure they had enough to proceed. They did, and so they soon put small samples of DNA onto glass slides, which they inserted into a sequencer, a machine that costs roughly a million dollars and looks like a giant washing machine made by Apple.

Unfortunately, it’s a washing machine that has a long run cycle. And it doesn’t always work. Sometimes the pages of the book you find are ripped or blurry. Sometimes the process is iterative and you have to tape fragments back together. So, as the sequencer spun, the Facebook hunters fretted that, once again, nothing would come of a promising lead. But by mid-August, Othram had a clean read on the DNA: They knew exactly what combination of As, Cs, Gs, and Ts had combined to create the mysterious hiker. A company spokesperson appeared live on the Facebook group’s page to detail the progress; posters responded with gratitude and euphoria.

Science sometimes gets harder with every step, though, and having the sequence was just the beginning. In order to identify Mostly Harmless, the team at Othram would have to compare his genetic information with other people’s. And they would start with a service called GEDMatch, a database of DNA samples that people have submitted, voluntarily, to answer their own hopes and questions—they want to find a lost half-sister or a clue about their grandpa. That collection of DNA has become a cornucopia for law enforcement. Each new sample submitted provides one more book for the library that can be searched and scoured. It was through this technique that investigators in Contra Costa County, California, found the Golden State Killer in the spring of 2018, connecting a DNA sample of the killer to GEDMatch samples of relatives. Just this past week, Othram helped law enforcement identify the murderer of a 5-year-old in Missoula, Montana, a case that had gone unsolved for 46 years.

It’s been over a month since Othram started looking through the GEDmatch database. It won’t say anything about what it has found, and the Collier County Sheriff’s Office is keeping quiet as well. But one source outside of the company who is familiar with its progress says that, while Othram doesn’t know Mostly Harmless’ name, it has found enough matching patterns to identify the region of the country from which his ancestors hail.

That isn’t sufficient though. Knowing for sure, for example, that his relatives came from Baton Rouge doesn’t mean Mostly Harmless came from Baton Rouge. His parents could have been born there and moved to Montreal. He could have been born in Louisiana and dropped on a doorstep in Maine. But, right now, the data scientists at Othram are combing through all the DNA samples in GEDMatch, looking for patterns and trying to circle closer to his identity. They’re most likely building out a family tree. Let’s say they found someone in GEDMatch whose DNA seems like a fourth cousin of Mostly Harmless, and then perhaps someone who seems like a third cousin. How do those two people connect? Through this sort of slow, painstaking analysis, they can get closer to an answer. Soon they might find his extended family, and then perhaps his parents’ names. And then law enforcement will be able to solve a case that has stumped them for more than two years.

They might get there, and they might not. A source familiar with the work suggests that the earliest we’ll get an answer is December. Unless between now and then, perhaps, someone reading this article or browsing a Facebook group recognizes his face. Or puts together clues that have eluded everyone else. Finally, he won’t be “Mostly Harmless”; he’ll have a real name.

And then, with that mystery solved, a new one will open up. Why did Mostly Harmless walk into the woods? And why, when things started to go wrong, didn’t he walk out?

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 12

P 12

Miles woke up feeling better rested and more at ease with the world than he had felt in a long, long time. The warm rays of the early morning sun were softly warming his cheek, the pillow had taken on the perfect shape around his head and Alex's short strands of hair were gently tickling his neck. All of that made him almost forget that he had an awful, throbbing headache. Damned Alex and his damned Vodka!

His eyes flew open. He held his breath as his view drifted towards his side, where Alex Turner, platonic friend and absolutely not sleeping-mate, was snoring softly, curled up against his side. Miles became aware that he had one arm tightly wrapped around him, keeping him impossibly close.

Oh no. Not again.

Had they not, just yesterday, promised to each other never to do this very thing ever again?

Miles took another glance at Alex. He was wearing clothes. It was the same shirt he had worn yesterday. And he himself was wearing clothes as well. And shoes, as he now sensed. His alertness began to return him. The sleepiness began to drift away.

Images of last night began to fill his head. Alex had made them omelets. Then they had played guitars for a bit. At some point a bottle of Vodka had appeared. Naturally, they had begun drinking it. Alex had spent half an hour meticulously going through the notes in his biology book, trying and failing to figure out why Miles wanted it. They had laughed and chatted and enjoyed each other's company. At some point in the middle of the night he'd crawled into Alex's bed. He had a vague memory of Alex crawling in with him.

And now here they were.

On the wrong side of the 'we are just friends'-fence.

He felt movements next to him. In a wild blur of movements, Alex jumped out of bed and stood next to it, staring at Miles in shock and confusion. “Oh God! Did we...?”

“NO!”

“Good!” Alex squinted, shook his head. “It's good, right! I mean, you know what I mean. Right? Right?!”

“Alex? We're good. It's good.”

“Good.”

“We need to be more careful, don't we?” Miles couldn't believe how reckless they had been. “The whole boundaries-thing, it's new. We should pay more attention to it.”

“Definitely,” agreed Alex and nodded. He rubbed his eyes, sat back down on the bed. Leaned back against the headboard. Looked down at Miles. And promptly jumped up again. Miles got up just as quickly. Reckless, indeed.

“Coffee,” suggested Miles. “We need coffee. Lots of it.”

Alex followed him out of the room wordlessly. Downstairs, the dining room table was set with two plates, a pot of no-longer steaming coffee rested in the middle, surrounded by toast, butter and scrambled eggs. David Turner was sitting in the corner of the room, by the window, reading the newspaper.

“Mornin', boys. Nice of you to show up. Almost noon already.”

Had they slept that long? Miles blinked a few times, still a bit sleepy and a whole lot shaken from waking up next to Alex. His just-a-friend Alex. His very soft, warm, tempting, deliciously well-smelling, surprisingly cuddly friend Alex. The very one who was giving him a strange look just now. “Huh?”

“Did you just moan?”

Did he? Get a grip, Miles admonished himself. “No, I yawned!”

“Okay.” Alex appeared unconvinced but nonetheless busied himself with breakfast. “Will you stay today? Should we make plans?”

“No,” said Miles and was grateful for a topic which he felt much more equipped to handle at this early – or late – hour of the morning. “I hadn't intended on staying the night,” he admitted. But he'd been unable to leave. Being around Alex after all that time apart had felt too good to give up too soon. “I'm leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow. I have yet to pack and get some stuff.” And he needed, ridiculous as it sounded, a bit of space. So much of Alex after such a long period of longing for him was overloading his senses.

“So you leave already?”

He heard the disappointment and tried to explain it to him. “Well, yeah. You know, I was offered to open for you in Mexico and figured I'd spend the days before that visiting some old friends. There's a tv appearance I have to do as well. And the band and I haven't played a whole set in a bit so we definitely need to rehearse.” He also hadn't intended to be friends with Alex again at this point. The idea of spending the weekend in Mexico with him and the Monkeys had been a bit intimidating to say the least so he had planned on staying as busy as possible in the days leading up to it. Now he wished he'd some more free time on his hands. “When will you and the band head to Mexico?”

“Next week or so,” said Alex. “We haven't fully decided yet.” He nibbled on a dry toast. “Will you be in Mexico for your birthday?”

“No, LA.” Miles wasn't too happy about the prospect of spending that day without Alex. “We'll have to celebrate when we meet again, then.”

“No way,” stated Alex and placed the toast away, rubbing his hands to get rid of the crumbs. “I'll come to LA. I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.”

“You have rehearsals and all that!” Miles wanted to spend his day with Alex, but he also didn't want to be responsible for him falling behind on his band-duties. “Your tour continues soon!”

Alex waved him off. “We've been playing the same songs over and over again for a year. Trust me, I can do with one day less of rehearsals! I'll be there, Miles. Gift and all.” Alex smiled. “Which reminds me, I still have your Christmas gift. Shit, where did I take it?”

Miles chuckled. “What do mean, where did you take it? And you know I don't need any gifts from you. Having you there is more than enough, Al!”

“That's sweet, but nonsense.” Alex snapped his fingers. “London! I took it to London! No wait...I didn't unpack in London. I think it's in Paris by now.”

After checking the time while Alex pondered his last stays, Miles got up. “Shit, I have to get ready. Mind if I take a shower, maybe borrow a shirt?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Since when do you have to ask. Just go do it. My home is your home!”

“My home,” muttered Alex's father from the corner of the room.

“Whatever,” said Alex.

“Thanks,” grinned Miles.

Mid March

“Look at you,” grinned Jamie as Miles blew out the candles of his birthday cake, “getting older and older.”

“Getting crinklier each year,” added Nick.

“Is that a grey hair?” wondered Matt.

Alex, who sat next to Miles, and across from the other Monkeys, chuckled. Some other people were there as well. It was midnight, the night before Miles' birthday. They had all come out to LA to celebrate and party into the day for they had to leave the next one.

“Fellas, I love you all,” pronounced Miles full of joy, grabbed his glass and lifted it for a toast. “To new beginnings and a fucking amazing time!” He slung one arm loosely around Alex. All in the name of a platonic friendship, he told himself, and not because his friend looked downright fuckable in that tightly fitted shirt. Alex's smile got bigger and Miles took that as reassurance that he hadn't yet crossed any barb-wired, high-voltage-barred lines. So deep into the night and so far from being sober, he had to be extremely careful with where he placed his steps. One inch too far and then what?

“To the new and improved us,” said Alex quietly into Miles' ear while everyone else busied themselves with the cake. “Happy Birthday, Miles. Will you come outside with me for a moment?”

“Of course!” His arm slipped from Alex's shoulder but Alex caught his hand, held on to it and while he didn't entwine their fingers as they would have done in the old days, he still grabbed them tightly. It did funny things to Miles' stomach. 'Watch out,” chimed his conscience – a hollow and ignored warning. When they reached the patio of the restaurant, Miles gave Alex all of his attention.“What's on your mind, Al?” He had wanted to call him 'love', as he used to, but had stopped himself just in time.

Alex reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small envelope. “I wanted to give you your birthday present. But I'm not sure you'll like it so I didn't want any witnesses!” He held out the envelope. “For you. I put a lot of thought into it!”

Miles smiled radiantly. “Is it a gift certificate for Bed, Bath and Beyond?”

“Better,” assured Alex.

“Oh, Ikea?”

“Just open it, will you?”

Miles did. And the smile fell from his face. “Alex. What have you done?” He sat down on the nearest bench and took a closer look at what he was holding. It was a post card with the image of a beach with penguins on it, and the backside read, 'One trip to Boulder Beach, South Africa, to spend a week with the penguins.' He looked up, finding Alex nervously trying and failing to light a cigarette.

“It's just a gift, Mi.”

Alex hadn't called him that in half a year. What an odd little jump his heart did at that. But it wasn't enough to distract him from Alex's generous gift. “It's too much!”

“Miles, trust me. I can afford it. You can afford it! I always wondered why you haven't gone there already. You always wanted to see them.” He finally got the cigarette lit up and inhaled deeply. “It doesn't have a fixed date. I'll give you the official paperwork later. You can go whenever you want. And it's for two people, so you can take a friend or...you know...somebody.” The last word he said almost inaudibly.

“There's no somebody,” Miles pointed out right away. It mattered a great deal to him that Alex knew that.

“Doesn't matter, does it? Someday there will be a somebody.” Alex just wouldn't meet Miles' eyes, no matter how hard he tried to catch his sight. “Wait until then. Or not. Go now. Take your mom. I was just trying to get you something nice. Like I said, it's always been your dream.”

Miles' dream was going to the most exotic place in the world, where it was either warm and sunny, or cold and snowy, or wet and stormy, and see something so remote and rare and beautiful that he would remember it for the rest of his life. But that wasn't the part that mattered most to him. He wanted to go there with Alex. He wanted to share the memory with him. At some point he'd mentioned wanting to see penguins and it had become a thing. But he didn't so much care for the penguins as he cared for person who'd be standing next to him once he got to them. It had become a dream he'd almost given up on last year. There were times when he doubted he'd share any kind of memory with Alex ever again.

Yet here he was. With Alex. And all he had to do was tell him to pack his bag and join him. Dream come true. Only, Alex would never know that he was part of Miles' dream. Which, in return, made the whole dream lose all meaning.

“I do suck at gifts, don't I?” Alex sat down next to him as a shadow of sadness cast over his face. He flipped the dead cigarette away.

Miles wrapped his arm around Alex's shoulder, pulled him against his side and kissed his head. He knew he was pushing the boundary hard at the moment, but he felt bereft of any other option. He needed his next words to land so he spoke them as sternly as he could. “I love you. This gift is incredibly thoughtful and you'll never know how grateful I am for it. You tried to make my dream come true. That means the world to me! But,” he spoke softly, handing back the post card, “I can't take it.”

“Why not?” Asked Alex, not making any moves to detach himself from Miles.

“It's too much, Alex. It's too big. It's not the kind of gift you and I should be making each other.”

Alex wiggled his arm free, curled it around Miles' neck and returned the kiss, pressing his lips to Miles' forehead. “I truly don't understand why you're doing it. Being honest here!” His expression got softer. “But I know you wouldn't do it unless you got your reasons.” He finally met Miles' eyes. Then he placed the card back into his pocket. “Can I at least invite you to a movie once we're back in London? If you're afraid it'll be too big of a gift, you can pay for your own popcorn!”

A bashful grin lit up his face and he found Alex's pouty reply adorable. “Don't worry, babe. You can buy me all the popcorn in the world. And chocolate. And gummy bears. I'll endeavor to be the most expensive date of your life!”

Alex laughed, all remnants of sadness gone from his face. Then he paused and met Miles' happy expression with a one of equal parts perplexity and mockery. Alex's one brow curved upward in that certain way that Miles found unbelievably sexy.

That was until his own words sank in, at which point he rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell! Not date, damnit! Evening. And now I actually am tempted to pay for my own popcorn!”

“Don't you dare,” warned Alex and smirked. They still held on to each other. “Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask you something. Did you take my black shirt? The one with the white stripes? I had it Sheffield, but now I can't find it anymore. And I know you took something out of my bag. But you vanished so bloody fast that day, I hardly saw you after breakfast!”

“I had to catch the train,” said Miles defensively. “You told me to take whatever!”

“That's my favorite shirt!”

“And it looks really good on me!” He flashed him a saucy grin. “Want it back?”

“Oh, you bet I do! Expect me to come get it later!”

“Here you are!” Matt called from the terrace door. “There's a birthday party happening on the inside but the guest of honor has gone missing!”

“On our way,” assured Miles, grabbed Alex's hand and pulled him along, back inside. “By the way, I also took your black alligator leather belt!”

“Fuck, Miles! I searched for hours for that thing!” Alex's hand went to Miles' suit jacket, pushed it upward. “Are you wearing it now? You are! I don't believe you!” He curled his fingers around the buckle. “Give it to me right now!”

They came to a halt in a corner. Miles stopped, Alex bumped against Miles' front and suddenly their lips were only an inch apart. Alex still held on to Miles' belt. For a long moment the world stopped moving. It was just them, in a room full of people, who, in that very instant, all ceased to exist.

Miles could smell the liquor on Alex's breath, felt the pulsating drum of his own heart that came with being so close to him. Alex's fingers, glued to the belt buckle, were entirely too close to one undeniably curious part of his anatomy and when his friend's eyes dropped down, coming to linger on his lips, Miles could feel the remnants of his self-control fighting with the legions of lust which had all come prepared for battle. “Boundary,” he whispered, damning himself for remembering just how insanely kissable Alex's lips were. “We must keep a distance.”

Alex nodded shakily. He carefully let go of the belt. Took a step backwards. “Drink?”

“Yes!”

Three hours later, and so fucking drunk they could no longer walk straight lines, Miles and Alex stumbled down the hallway of Miles' apartment, not singing but shouting the lyrics to one of their old tunes.

“And she tried so hard,” went Alex.

“To steal away from the Meeting Place,” followed Miles.

“Steer away.” Alex halted. “Door!”

“Why should I steer away from my door?” His mind was too foggy for Alex's vague remark. “Be more specific. I'm very drunk!”

Alex laughed. A drunken, gigglish laugh. “Lyrics, Mi. Steer away. Not steal away. However,” he said, holding up a finger to emphasize his words, “steal away would work. Or not?” He blinked once. Twice. “What were you saying?”

Miles frowned. “I don't know. What was I saying?” The hallway began to spin. “We should get inside. I think the floor is about to give out. I swear I just saw it move!”

“The floor?” Alex shook his head. Then his hand shot out, holding onto Miles' shoulder. “Oh, I saw it too! It's a trick floor! Must be.”

“I've heard of those,” said Miles. “Why won't you open the door?” He gave Alex a disapproving look. Time was running out on them. Although he couldn't say why. His thoughts were very confusing at the moment.

“It's your place.”

“I live here?”

Alex nodded.

“Oh. Oh, I have to unlock then!” And he did. Or tried. Tried again. And, at long last, succeeded. “Voila! Ooh, that's a french word. I just spoke French!”

Loud, vibrating laughter bursted from Alex. “Well done, Miles. Well done!” And he stumbled inside.

Miles followed him into the apartment, got rid of his jacket and kicked off his shoes. “Good night!”

“Wait, Mi. My belt!”

“Right!” He lifted his shirt, undid the buckle and pulled it out of the loops with one swift move before holding it out for Alex. His friend looked at him with heavy, lidded eyes, an expression of dark, vicious hunger on his face. “Why are looking me like I'm a chocolate cake?”

Alex licked in lips and gulped. Which, in return, made Miles zoom in on Alex's mouth. His perfectly shaped, undoubtedly warm and luscious mouth. “You look at me like I'm a bloody burger,” retorted Alex and took a step towards him. “I want my shirt, too!”

“What shirt? This shirt?”

“No, my shirt. My favorite shirt.” Another step. Alex pressed his still outstretched but until now forgotten finger into Miles' chest. “Black shirt. White stripes. You took it, you thief.”

“Only cause it smells of you,” confessed Miles. “Oh, I said that out loud, didn't I?” His eyes dropped to where Alex was touching his chest. “You mustn't tell yourself this, it's a sinful secret, and you and I friends, so we don't share sinful secrets,” he whispered, “but I so very much like the way you smell!” His head dipped down a little bit, his forehead now touching Alex's. “I really, really, really like the way you smell.”

Alex's flattened his palm against Miles' front, began rubbing up and down in small, languid strokes. He pressed his nose against that of his friend. “I miss how you used to smell,” admitted Alex, his voice low and husky. “But you changed your cologne.”

“Cause you told me to,” Miles reminded him.

“I know. I'm stupid like that.”

Now both of Alex's hands travelled across the planes of Miles' upper body, wrecking havoc on Miles's control. In the very far, dimly lit part of his head where his self-control was drifting off to sleep and his better judgement was struggling to remain awake, his wild desires crept from the shadows. Having Alex touch him like this was like a jolt of pure, uncontrollable energy. Every carefully sedated fiber of desire was shocked back to life.

Alex curled a hand around Miles' neck, dug his nose into his skin, tempting Miles to let go of the reigns and allow his arousal to run free. When Alex began to nuzzle along Miles' jawbone, then lower, near his earlobe, Miles closed his eyes, holding on the last shards of control. “Boundaries,” he reminded him in a voice so hoarse and strained he barely recognized it as his own.

“I'm not breaking boundaries,” claimed Alex in a bold-faced lie, with a tone that betrayed all pretense. “I'm just trying to figure out if I like your new cologne.”

“Figure it out faster,” begged Miles.

He felt Alex smile against the overly sensitive skin just behind his earlobe. “Why?”

“Cause I'm about to lose it.”

Alex detached from Miles, met his eyes, but couldn't focus on them. His gaze kept dropped to Miles' lips. Alex touched his cheek, angling his head with one hand as he took hold of Miles' tie with his other one, grabbing it near the knot, fisting it. “Lose it, then.”

A heartbeat passed. And then they were kissing. Wild, reckless and uncontrollable. There was nothing slow and soft or even tender about it. Just open mouths, wet tongues and filthy, dirty lust at its finest. Miles found himself pushed up against the back of his sofa, digging into the soft hair of Alex's outgrown buzzcut, craving his friend's kiss so utterly, so absolutely, that he couldn't even stop to undress him.

And that's when it hit him.

Here they were. Again. Six months later. Doing the same fucking thing. A wave of nausea and disgust overcame him and he pushed Alex off him. “Stop! Stop, damnit!”

Alex stumbled backwards, dazed and breathless.

“Fucking hell,” shot Miles, burying his face in his hands. When Alex made a move towards him, Miles quickly moved away, around the sofa. A physical barrier was exactly what he needed. “What are we doing?”

Alex, still looking lost, shrugged. “What we both wanted?”

“What we— Are you fucking kidding me? We're barely back to being friends, Alex! No kissing, we said.”

“I know!”

“Then why are we fucking kissing?!”

“'Cause you were there and I was there and...” Alex rubbed his face. “Damnit, Miles! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to kiss you? It's all I can think about. All day. All night. All the fucking time! When you're in reach, when I all I have to do is grab you, it becomes impossible not to do it. I know we said we would keep a distance. But had I no idea it would be so bloody hard! I want to follow our rules but…Miles, it has never been this way before! I've never longed so completely, so overwhelmingly for anyone in my life. I'm fucking starving for you! And I know you don't understand what I'm talking about but—”

“Every single cell in my body craves you, Alex.” Miles wanted to laugh. Not understand him? Oh, how fucking ridiculous that idea was! “There are moments when I want you so badly I could tear out my hair! I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself screaming into my pillow cause I've dreamt about you and I'm fucking hard and you're just not there to have! So don't you dare tell me I don't understand what you're talking about!”

Alex made his way around the sofa. “If I want you and you want me, why can't we—”

“'Cause it will ruin our friendship and you know it!” As if he hadn't thought about it! As if the thought of just giving in to his needs didn't cross his mind every minute, every hour, every day! But it would never be enough. It wasn't the physical act of being with Alex that satisfied him so greatly – even though it was very well-satisfying! – it was the act of being with Alex. It was the act of being entwined with the one the person that knew him inside and out. It was the act of sharing immense pleasure with the one person he knew inside and out.

What Alex suggested would no doubt please his body. But it would drain his soul and lay waste to his heart. It would kill him slowly. And it would lead to the bitter end of a beautiful friendship. Miles sat down on the sofa, staring at Alex, hoping he understood any of it. “You and I aren't made to for something like that. And I will never risk losing you for just a bit of sex!”

Alex dropped down next to him. “I don't remember how we used to do this, Miles. We've been best friends for almost half of our lives. Until now, we've never had a need for boundaries and lines. What changed?”

“Nothing changed.” The haze from the liquor began to settle and the lingering adrenaline from almost detonating his renewed friendship with Alex had helped him regain some control of his mind. But his body was tired. His limbs felt heavy. His muscles were sore, almost as if he'd run a marathon. “Think about it, Alex. You say we never needed any lines? We built a bloody minefield! But we didn't place it around our hands and lips. We locked our hearts in. We always pretended that all we did was play around. We pushed each other. We were reckless. There's a reason you never stayed the night when we shared a bed, even if it was just for sleep. There's a reason we don't ever explain our lyrics or question each other about them.”

Averting his eyes, getting up, then pacing the room, Alex struggled and Miles could tell. But wasn't it time they talked about this? Alex stopped to stare at the ceiling, then squeezed his eyes shut. “There isn't a line or a word in any of all that I've ever written that—there's nothing that ever needed to be locked off!”

“Golden Trunks. Is it about me?”

Alex shot him a look of crimson anger. “I know that she told you that it is. There's no reason to rehash this!”

“That's what I'm fucking talking about, Alex! This is you, drawing big, fat line.”

“What do you want me to fucking say, Miles? Huh?! Do you need me to spill it out for you? Yes, okay? Yes, I, Alex Turner, fantasize about you. How's that a new information?” he asked full of biting sarcasm.

“You broke up with the woman whose name you had inked on your arm over a line in a song that barely anyone even knows!”

“So did you,” Alex snapped irately. Then he walked up to Miles, to tower in front of him. “You want honesty? Tell me what you and Taylor were fighting over two years ago!”

Miles looked away. “You really don't want to know.”

“Oh, I do!”

2017

“I owe you an apology.” Miles took a seat next to Taylor by the pool of Alex' LA home. Alex was in the midst of a discussion with some other people which had come to one of his impromptu-barbecues. The other Monkeys were in town as well, all busy with recording their new album. Taylor crossed her arms as she met Miles' eyes. He sighed. “I mean it, T. I did something that I shouldn't have done for a vast variety of reasons. But most importantly, I shouldn't have done it because he wasn't mine to kiss. I'm sorry.”

“To be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less about the kiss.” She looked away, distracted by some noises coming from the pool. She kept her attention there. “You broke Hannah's heart.”

“I know.” He looked elsewhere, too, now. “And she knows I never intended for it to happen. That's doesn't take away from what I did, though. It was a bad—”

“Her heart was doomed when you asked her to be your girlfriend,” said Taylor, startling Miles. “And so was mine, by the way, when I asked him out and he said yes.”

“Taylor,” tried Miles, but she held up her hand to stop him.

“No, I'm not done. You and Alex have fans, did you know? Fans who care less about your music and more about your personal relationship? At first I found it funny, even a bit cute. Then I observed the two of you on tour. On stage. I even saw him snuck out of your room once, in the middle of the night, in a bathrobe, when I came to surprise him. I never told him that.”

“He fell asleep on the bloody couch,” lied Miles, annoyed. He felt caught. A strange, irritating emotion.

“Fucking liar!” She shot loudly.

“Would you calm down,” Miles hissed. “There are other people here!”

“Why should I care? Are you suddenly worried people might get the wrong idea about you and Alex?” She tossed out a bitter laugh. “I don't believe that you played Hannah or that he's pretending to care for me. But deep down,” she told him as she stared into his eyes, “you know there's something more going on. Tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that it's all just make-believe for the fans. Tell me!”

He couldn't tell her.

“Here's why the thought of me didn't keep you from kissing my boyfriend: you think he belongs to you. You consider him yours. Want to apologize? Apologize for that.”

They sat in silence for a while and Miles let her words sink in. He had to give it to her, she did struck a nerve. And it made him angry. It unraveled him that she read him so well, even though he worked so bloody hard to keep those feelings to himself. It pissed him off that she had the nerve to state so bluntly what he himself tried so hard to deny. And it annoyed him that she looked so fucking smug about it.

“No apology?” Taylor smirked. “Must bother you that he hasn't broken up with me yet.”

Miles bit his tongue, tried to be better than her, tried to fight his urge to sink low. He knew that she was hurt. He knew it was his fault.

“Guess my kiss tastes better than yours.”

And he lost the fight. “Every night he didn't spend in your arms,” whispered Miles, leaning into her to make sure she was the only one who heard, “he spent in mine.” Then he got up, grabbed his jacket and left.

Present Day

Alex watched him impatiently. “Seriously, Miles. I want to know!”

“There goes our friendship,” murmured Miles and got up, to walk over to the window. He lit himself a cigarette. “Short version? I apologized, she said some stuff I didn't want to hear and I said something to shut her up and make her feel bad.”

“You insulted her?” Alex sounded so surprised. “She would have told me that. And you don't insult people! You've never done that!”

“It wasn't an insult, okay? It was a lie. Or not.” He rolled his eyes, met Alex's. “Why is that so important now?”

“'Cause ever since that argument she believed that you and I were in love.”

Miles wanted to laugh so badly. It was all so insanely ridiculous. He was in love with Alex. And he let Taylor believe that had spent countless nights 'with' Alex. As his lover. Which, in a sense, wasn't even a lie! He loved him and he had spent the nights with him. Only, he hadn't known then that he was in love with Alex. Or had he? Had he known all along? Had he been in love from the very beginning? And had Taylor been right after all? Had he really considered Alex to be his, for all that time? “Would you believe me when I tell you I have a headache?”

Alex frowned. “Why wouldn't I believe that, Miles? What's going on?”

“I'm finding it difficult to believe my own words, lately.” He turned his head to find Alex standing next to him, a concerned look on his face. “I find myself saying one thing and then end up doing the other. I tell you I want to be your friend and then I kiss you. I ask you for honesty and I find myself unable to respond with the same. I tell we can't kiss again and then…I do this.” He cupped Alex's face, cigarette still tugged between his fingers, and kissed him.

But it wasn't fast, or hard, or anything their kisses usually were. It was slow, and gentle, and his heart broke splinter by splinter with each languid stroke of his tongue. He felt Alex's hands and arms as they made their way around his torso, bringing them closer. What a dangerous kiss this was, not lacking of lust yet fed with feelings. It was a kiss of love, and his friend allowed it to happen, allowed him to have it. Miles felt horrible. After a last lingering moment, he let go and stepped back. “I'm not ready to be around you again.”

Alex leaned against the window, hazy and dark-eyed. Completely out of it. “What?”

“Don't you see, Al? I can't control it yet. It's exactly as you said, impossible not to kiss.”

“Let's work on that together, then!”

“How's that going to work? We sit in a room and applaud ourselves for every minute we spent not making out?” He sad, self-deprecating chuckle slipped from his lips.

“I just got you back in my life. I won't let you walk out of it, just because it's complicated and hard and requires effort!”

“You want a reason to let me go? Let me give you one. I told Taylor we fucked on the regular.”

A few seconds ticked down. And then? Then Alex combusted in laughter. Loud, rumbling, tears-streaming-from-the-eyes laughter. “That's what that was all about?” More laughter. “Oh that explains so much!” More laughter still.

Miles jaw all but dropped. “Why is it so funny? I don't get it.”

Alex shrugged. “I have no idea!” He wiped the tears from his eyes, still amused. “I just find it hilarious that the two of you made such a big fucking thing out of it, but she wouldn't even come to about it!”

“Well,” added Miles, “she also said I was in love with you.”

“You're not,” said Alex. The amusement died down. “Trust me, I know that.”

Miles didn't respond to that statement. How could Alex be so firm in his belief of it, wondered Miles, considering the kiss they had just shared. And what a testament to Alex's own lack of romantic notions towards him, thought Miles further. He had, after all, returned the kiss as tenderly as Miles had given it. To do that, without love? How different two people could be, he marveled.

“I meant what I said, Al.” Miles turned towards him.

“So did I,” said Alex. Sternly. “You and I are friends. And we'll remain friends. Damn all this attraction nonsense. Let's take smaller steps then. Let's not get drunk together. That seems to lead to no good. God, Miles! We won't even see that much of each other at any rate! I'm stuck on tour with the Monkeys and you have all your gigs across the bloody ocean! You want separation? There you have it! For crying out loud,” he groaned in frustration, “let's do a fucking long-distance phone friendship until I'm back home!”

“I can't perform with you in Mexico.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Come on, Miles! It's not even a Puppets song! It's fucking 505! We always do that together when we're in the same city! Huddle near Matt, Nick or Jamie if you need to!”

“It's not about that, Al.”

“It's been months, Miles. And it'll be our last chance to share a stage for a very long time!”

“Alex, I can't.” The last time they shared a stage together, it left him on the brink of a breakdown. The time before that, it had been odd already. And at that time, they hadn't even done the deed! He wasn't ready to find out how it would feel now. What if the spark was gone? What if there was nothing but awkwardness? Or worse, unease? “Someday, but not yet.”

“I can't force you, can I?” Alex was, without a doubt, disappointed. And he looked as exhausted and as done with it all as Miles felt. “Seriously, Miles. This has to be the worst birthday of yours we've ever celebrated!” He returned to the sofa and leaned back. “We gotta do better next year!”

“We will,” promised Miles and leaned back against the window, hands in his pockets. He spotted the clock on the wall and yawned. “Almost five am already. Time to sleep. It's been a long day.”

Alex shook his head disbelievingly and got up. “Smooth, Kane. Real smooth!” He picked up his jacket from the floor, put it on and tipped his head at Miles. “Keep the belt and the shirt. I'll collect it in London once we're back.” In the doorway, he haltered one last time. “Will I at least see you in Mexico?”

Miles nodded.

Alex nodded, too. And then he was gone.

[ittookthelightforever]

Tell Me Why - Chapter 11 (Smut)

Hi!

This is another fluffy chapter, with a hint of drama, but the addition of smut. I don’t think this is my best smut, I’ve been uninspired lately and blame the lack of new pictures of the Boy. Thankfully we know he’s living his best life, going to amazing concerts and all that jazz... Ok, back to the fic, I hope y’all like it!

Love, Lina

(chapter 1) – (chapter 2 - smut)  – (chapter 3 - TW) – (chapter 4) – (chapter 5) – (chapter 6) – (chapter 7) – (chapter 8) – (chapter 9 - TW) -- (chapter 10)

Source

Charlotte and Alex snuggled in bed, delaying the act of waking up proper and heading downstairs for breakfast. She turns on her side, facing Alex,  “I do ‘ave summat unpleasant to ask.” He tightens his hold of her hand and nods, “Wot ‘appened between yeh and Louise? A-After tha’ night…” Alex grimaces a bit, remembering the aftermath of his stupidness, “Ugh, a-after tha’s, uh, incident, she and I talked and I explained tha’ the babeh came before I’d even met ‘er. She seemed satisfied enough tha’ i woulnd’t leave ‘er for yeh and weh stayed together, she came wiv us all the way back to LA.” Alex has to take a few breaths to maintain a straight voice, “Uh, LA were ‘ard, because it were meh first time there after I broke up wiv Taylor. But tha’s when Matt sat down wiv meh and talked sum sense into meh.”

Charlie laughed, she could picture the conversation perfectly, Matt was incredible at being a no nonsense friend. “ ‘e made meh realise tha’ at tha’ point I probableh weren’t wiv Louise for tha’ reight reasons, tha’ I couldn’t possibleh be takin’ meh relationship wiv ‘er seriously when I were mopin’ around for yeh. And when weh came back to Europe I broke up wiv ‘er.” Charlie can’t help but smile, “Blessed be Matthew J. ‘elders, the third.” Alex kisses her, pulling away slowly. Charlie holds his face close to hers, squeezing his cheeks, “Moping, babeh? Were you annoying our friends?”

She pecks his lips between the words, enjoying the feeling of his chapped lips against her, the familiarity of them, “Yeh laugh, but those bastards made it a rule tha’ I couldn’t say yehr name more than once per ‘our or I’d ‘ave to call yeh and apologize.” Charlie stops playing, her face growing serious, “Did yeh? Say it more than once…” Alex takes her hand, kissing her palm tenderly, “Yeah, I did. But every time I did I ‘id meself like the coward I am. I once even threw me phone against a wall, just so I wouldn’t ‘ave a way to call yeh.” She nuzzles her nose against him, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss, “No, yeh’re not. Otherwise weh wouldn’t be ‘ere today.” She kisses him again.

“Kids!! Yeh better not beh doin’ anyfing inappropriate!” They pull away, laughing at Penny’s teasing tone. Slowly they untangle themselves and try to get ready, the process itself is stopped multiple times to make way for tender kisses and belly rubs. Once they are ready, Alex takes her hand and pulls her in for one more kiss, Charlie can’t help but sigh as his lips part and their tongues join, something clicks within her. Pulling away, she laughs, “C’mon, otherwise Penny will come up to check if weh’re shagging.” Alex nods, pecking her lips one last time, before following her out of the room.

Charlotte goes down the steps laughing at some nonsense Alex said, but as she entered the kitchen Charlie stops and Alex’s bumps into her, “Wot’s wrong, love?” As he looks beyond her Alex sees Charlotte’s parents and Emily sitting on the kitchen table with his parents, “Mum, dad! Yeh are ‘ere!” Maggie and Pete get up and embrace their youngest daughter, Charlie is a little flustered but she manages to respond to her mother’s cooings about the baby. Alex stands back, giving them space, fully aware he was enemy number one in this situation, and Emily remains seated, looking quite fed up with the situation.

“I ‘ave made us all tea, so why don’t weh move this to the living room, where weh can sit more comfortableh?” Maggie helps Penny bring the things over to the adjacent room, where Charlie takes a seat on the couch next to her parents and Alex sits in front of her on a loveseat. He makes a funny face at the whole thing and Charlie has to hide her giggles, as she feels Emily’s hard gaze on her. “It sure is good to see yeh kids in good terms once again!” Charlie turns to her mother with a grateful smile, “I’m sad tha’ it took Nanna’s passing for us to start working through our issues, but ’m glad weh did.”

“Of course weh are ‘appy for yeh, but it’s also important to keep in mind tha’ yeh are ‘aving a child together.” Penny and Maggie take the reins of the conversation, “Yes, these incidents can’t ‘appen. Ever again. Weh know yeh kids ‘ave crazy lives sumtimes, but a babeh needs lots of love and a solid famileh structure.” Alex is hesitant but he chimes in for the first time, “I know I’ve been wrong… I see meh mistakes and I promise yeh that wot ‘appened shall never ‘appen again, I will always be there for the babeh and Charleh.” He directs his words not only to Charlie but to their parents present.

“We’ve watched yeh grow into a fine hard-working man, Alexander. And I am sure yeh will never repeat such behaviours, son.” Her father’s approval puts him at somewhat of an ease, but that doesn’t last long, “No offense Mr and Mrs Turner, but tha’s all it takes? A pretteh little speech and all the pain ‘e brought to my sister is forgotten?” Emily stands up and gestures at Alex, “This is the man tha’ put yeh in bed for a whole week. For a whole week yeh wouldn’t speak or eat, yeh put not onleh yehr life in danger but tha’ of yehr babeh, and yeh just forgive ‘im like tha’?”

“Emily, stop. ‘ow maneh times? Alex is not Michael! Not only ‘as ‘e never laid a finger on meh,all meh life, Alex is the best ‘uman being I’ve ever met. ‘e’s cared for meh more times than I can’t count and tha’ night, wot ‘appened, tha’ is between meh and ‘im. And weh are choosing to work through it, because weh love each other and weh are ‘aving a kid together.” Charlie pauses to take a breath, a hand pressed to her bump. “Iif yeh can’t see past yehr own problems, goodness I can’t deal wiv yeh reight now. I love yeh, but I can’t stand yeh talking about Alex like ‘e’s a monster all of a sudden.” Emily wipes her tears, taking one last look at Alex and then Charlie before storming out.

Charlie takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself, but the inevitable tears come. She is so overcome with sobs she doesn’t notice as her mother trading places with Alex, who wraps his arms around her and starts whispering soothing words to her ear. They stay there for several minutes and he helps her calm down, as their parents watch the sweet interaction and are reassured that Alex’s and Charlie’s decision to stay together was the right one.

--//--//--

Soon Charlie and Alex board a train bound to London, where their lives couldn’t wait for them any longer. For the whole ride Charlie stays wrapped in Alex’s arms, the couple whispering sweet nothings to each other, relishing in this honeymoon phase of their relationship. Exhausted from the train ride they simply swing by Charlie’s for clean non-black clothes and order some take out to Alex’s, indulging in pizza and pop on his bed, which had been cleaned thanks to Miles’ wiseness to call a professional cleaning company to deal with the mess and make the apartment liveable again.

They lay in bed, bodies tangled up, bellies full, whispering to each other in their new found bliss, “I don’t want to tell people yet. I want this to be ours.” Alex nods, nipping at the soft skin of her neck and earning a low moan from Charlie, “Tha’ sounds perfect.” Charlie turns in his arms, facing him, and kisses him, pulling him against her. His hand brushes her upper thigh and Charlie moans, pressing herself as close to him as possible with the baby bump between them. She pulls away from his lips, kissing and sucking down his jaw and neck, which causes Alex to let out a low growl that soaks her underwear.

“Did I mention yeh’ve been moaning meh name in yehr sleep these past nights?” Charlotte pulls away to look him in the eye, “No, I ‘aven’t!” Alex chuckles, running his fingers slowly up her thigh which makes her automatically moan again. He grins, as if to say I told yeh so. The sexual tension had been building since Sheffield and now it was clear they both needed some relief. “Alex, stop teasing meh about it then and do summat about it.” He takes the queue, bowing over her and capturing her lips in a sweet, tame kiss that Alex maintains as much control over as he can before Charlie grips his shoulders and deepens the kiss.

As one of her hands moves up to grip his face, the other trails down his back, feeling each ripple of his muscles, until it reaches his bum and gives him a playful squeeze, “C’monnnn rockstar, gimme yehr best.” Alex chuckles at the nickname and moves his lips down, kissing down her neck and over her collarbones, praises to her beauty echo against her skin. He reaches her nightgown and helps her sit up so she can remove that, taking the moment to remove his own t-shirt, and Charlotte is left completely naked in front of him. Utterly breathtaking, Alex stops for a second to regard her.

“Wot? Do I ‘ave anyfing on meh face?” She gives him a playful half-smile and Alex sighs in contentment, “Yeh are the most beautiful woman I ‘ave ever laid my eyes on. So… Stunning.” Charlie blushes, but doesn’t attempt to hide any of herself, “And this, your magnificent body tha’ is creating our child.” Alex is once again over her, pressing his lips to her skin, adoring every inch of her body, and as he reaches her bump Alex stops, kissing the skin gently. “I love ‘ow sweet this is, but I need yeh lower reight now, love.” He chuckles at her anxiety and moves lower as requested.

Alex parts her thighs and looks up to Charlie, who’s watching anxiously, “Patience, babeh… It’s a virtue, tha’ knows.” She rolls her eyes and moves a hand over her abdomen, reaching her soaking core, “I seem to ‘ave lost mine.”  Charlie moans as she toys with her clit and Alex is mesmerized, almost paralized by the sight, “Excuse meh, I fink tha’s my job.” With a gentle hand he pushes her hand away, taking over with his own fingers. He gently swirls around her clit, bringing his finger down and over her folds, teasingly, making Charlie moan and grip the sheets.

“Hmmm, so wet for meh, babeh. I wonder wot would ‘appen if I did this?” Alex pushes a finger into her, caressing her walls with the rough pad of his finger and Charlie curls her toes, raising her hips towards his touch, moaning for more. He adds a second finger, curling them against her pleasure point, “Tha’s meh girl, yeh look so beautiful, writhing under meh touch.” Charlie moans and moves her hips against his touch, hands massaging her own breasts roughly, “M-More, p-pl-please.” Alex picks up the speed and bends down to press his lips to her clit, letting his tongue move over it in hard strokes. Charlie feels her orgasm build up and up, focusing on Alex’s tongue on her clit, so dextrous with its movements, and his talented fingers curling and stretching her walls, until her core is nearly bursting and she grips at the sheets, nearling howling in pleasure as she reaches her apex.

“Yeh taste absolutelleh delicious… Tha’ was realleh summat.” Charlie is catching her breath, a sheen of sweat covers her body as she comes down from her high, “Are yeh okay, love?” Alex lays down next to her, tracing the pattern of her body, rough finger pad over sensitive skin, “Yeah, hmmm, if yeh continue tha’ I might cum again.” He chuckles, making a point of circling her nipple, “I’d love nowt more, but I feel tha’ we’ve a logistics issue.” Charlie takes his hand, intertwining their fingers, “Yeh afraid of the bump.” He chuckled nervously, “Kind of, yeah.”

Charlie smiles and sits up, straddling him, “Here’s a verreh easeh fix for tha’.” She wiggles her soaking core over his hips, which were still clad in underwear, moaning as the movement produced the perfect friction between her pulsing pussy and his hard cock. Alex moans, moving in tandem with her, “Meh clever girl.” She winks at him raising her hips just enough for him to remove his underwear and position himself against her entrance, Charlie takes him in her hand and sinks down onto his dick, throwing her head back at the perfect sensation of his hard cock filling her up, every ridge stroking her over-sensitive core.

She grabs his shoulders to get purchase, while Alex holds onto her hips, and they move in synchrony. Alex is mesmerized by the sight of Charlotte - head hung back, eyes closed, lips slightly parted as moans come out; He drives his hips up to meet each of her movements, his cock burrying deep into her core with every stroke, “B-Babeh, yeh feel like ‘eaven… Yeh’re so wet for meh…” Charlie’s movements soon become slower as she builds up for her second orgasm, Alex holds her face making her look at him, “Let go for meh, babeh… I want to feel yeh cum all over meh.” As she stares into those golden chocolate eyes, Charlie lets go and moans as waves of pleasure wash over her, her walls clenching around Alex’s dick which set his own orgasm off.

Charlie uses the last of her energy to pull back from Alex and lay down on the bed, “G-Goodness, tha’ was…” She sighs trying to catch her breath as he inches closer to her, pulling her against his sweaty body, “Tha’ was literally the sexiest fing I’ve ever experienced.” She smiles and cuddles against his body, curling up to fit within his frame, “Hmmm, even sexier than Miles?” Alex laughs, kissing the top of her head, “Miles’ got nowt on yeh babeh, yeh… Yeh are the missing piece tha’ I never realized had been missing but now I can’t ever live wivout again.” Charlie looks up at him, reaching up to press a chaste kiss to his lips, “Ever the poet, huh Turner? I love yeh.” Alex smiles and tightens his grip of her, “I love yeh endlessly, meh Charleh.

--//--//--

Despite her tiredness, Charlie couldn’t sleep due to pregnancy induced insomnia, so she had settled on Alex’s couch with a pint of Cherry Garcia, watching a french romance from Alex’s collection. “ ‘ey, what yeh doin’ up?” Alex plops down next to her on the couch and Charlie pauses, “Can’t sleep. Why is it tha’ yeh don’t ‘ave aneh cable or internet on yehr tv? Onleh a collection of foreign movehs and Batman.” Alex shrugs, taking her spoon, “Eh, don’t realleh need anyfing else. Can I ‘ave some?” Charlie pushes the ice cream towards him, “Course, it’s yehrs, genius.”

Alex squints his eyes at her, eating a big spoonful of ice cream, “Yeh know what I meant. ‘ave yeh been eating enough?” Charlie avoids his gaze, taking the spoon, “Well, now I ‘ave an obligation to eat and since the morning sickness went away fings got a whole lot better.” She takes another mouthful of ice cream, handing the spoon back to Alex, “I ‘ate that yeh went through that whole phase by yehrself.”

“Alex, it’s not yehr fault and I ‘ad the support I needed then, now yeh know and can participate in every step of the way, okay? Just make sure to be a cool dad.” Alex laughs, giving her the spoon back, “Oh, check this out, whenever I eat cold stuff, baby moves like crazeh.” Charlie takes his hand, positioning over her belly and takes another bit of ice cream. Alex’s smile widens and moves his hand along Charlie’s belly, “Tha’s incredible, there realleh is a tineh person in there. Do yeh know the gender yet?”

Charlie shakes her head, “No, but me midwife wrote it in and put it in an envelope.I were waitin’ for yeh to look, it’s actualleh in my purse upstairs.” Alex face can’t contain his giddiness, “Can weh go look?” Charlie chuckles at his childish expression, which reminded her so much of when they were kids, in that moment she hoped that their child would inherit his enthusiasm, “Of course.” They tread upstairs, leaving the TV on and the ice cream to melt, in her room Charlie looks through her stuff for the envelope, finding it jammed between the pages of the book she’d been reading.

“ ‘ere it is.” She holds the thin paper envelope between them, “Let’s get it over wiv.” Alex motions for her to open, but she pauses and sits down, patting the bed for Alex to join her, “This… This babeh is a big step, for both of us. In our relationship, in our lives. Promise meh whatever ‘appens this tiny ‘uman being will come first?” Alex cups her face with his hands, centering her gaze on his eyes, “Charleh, I ‘ope tha’ there’s nofing tha’ could ‘appen tha’ could push us apart again, yeh are one of the moost important people in meh life and tha’ will never change. And I promise yeh, there won’t be a day in meh life when tha’ kid yehr carrying won’t be meh number one prioriteh, okeh?”

Charlotte sighs, a rogue tear slipping down her face, “Yes… Okeh, let’s see if babeh is a girl or a boy!” Alex smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead, “Do the honours then…” Charlie’s hands are shaking slightly as she pries the envelope open and pulls the paper from within, she reads the words, once, twice, gasping in surprise, “Wot? Wot is it?” She giggles through her tears, “It’s a boy.” Alex beams and hugs her, squishing her against him. Charlie closes her eyes and she can picture it perfectly. A little boy, the spitting image of his dad, playing piano next to Alex, the both of them causing a raucous around the house. Her heart swells with the thought of little boy that will be half of her and half of the man she loves.

“Wow, Charleh, I-I… A little fella…” Alex chokes on his words, tears slipping down his face as well, “I know, I understand love. I joost ‘ope ‘e inherits yehr ridiculously amazing ‘air and not tha’ giant nose.” Charlie wipes his tears as Alex snorts at her words, “If ‘e’s ‘alf as incredible as ‘is mum everfing will be fine.” Charlie averts her gaze at his words, laying down on the bed, “Yeh should probably go to sleep, Al..” He yawns, causing her to yawn back, “Weh bof should.” He lays down next to her, staring at the ceiling.

Alex holds Charlie’s hand as they stare up at the ceiling, both knocked down by the lovely news, “I love yeh, Charleh. More than I ‘ave ever loved anyoneh.” Charlie smiles and turns on her side to face him, “Marreh meh, Turner.” Alex turns in a second, nearly bumping into Charlie, “Wot?” She smiles, bringing a hand up to his face, “I love yeh. Marreh meh.” Alex regards her for a second, trying to gauge whether she was serious, before a huge smile spreads on his face, “Ei, I should beh asking yeh tha’.” Charlie giggles, tangling her legs with his.

“If yeh want to weh can tell people yeh were tha’ one who asked. It don’t matter! Alexander David Turner, will yeh marreh meh?”  

[ssa-steverogers]

Memories   Avenger one-shot

Memories

Requested: Yes

Summary:  Alexandras Winchester joined the Avengers after her mother died during what was known as the New York Battle. She had never told anyone. Now, it’s been exactly seven years and she had never visited her mother, Lilly. Her father, Charles, and twin, Thomas, had died in a accident a long time ago. And after a long mission, she decides to visit her buried family.

“What do you want for dinner?” Pepper popped into the main room. 

“You can have dinner without me, I’m going out for a while.” I said reaching for my coat over the couch. Tony sat across from me on a recliner. He looked at his watch and frowned.

“Where you going out so late? It’s almost eight. Going to a pub? We got a whole bar that’s probably bigger than any of the pubs in town.” He said with that signature smirk of his. I gave him a look and so did Pepper.

“Where are you heading?” Loki asked the same time as Thor. They looked at me and I just stared back at them. They looked at me for a answer. I blinked a couple times and got up.

“Out.” I said smiling and putting on my coat.

“Where? You got yourself a boy?” Wanda asked with wide eyes. She’s been trying to set me up with people lately. I got ready and when I was about to walk to the elevator, I was stopped by a big boulder; well, a Loki Laufeyson. He looked suspicious as he asked me questions. 

 "Where. Are. You. Going.” He asked in more of a statement than a question. I sighed. 

 “Why? Who wants to know?” I smirked. I crossed my arms and leaned on one foot. 

 “Who? Me, Thor, Steve, Tony, Wanda, even Bruce! And you never leave this facility unless it’s for missions or the girls drag you out! You go out like every blue moon. You always stay in the lab!” He said with arms motions. 

 “Well, today, there happens to have a blue moon… So I will be on my way.” I said slipping around Loki and into the elevator. He held his hand up about to say something but the elevator doors closed and silenced him. I put on my beanie and the elevator door opened. I took a deep breath and walked out. I left a note saying I was gonna borrow Tony’s black matte Audi R8. It was new, actually. Which is why I didn’t tell him face to face. He installed J.A.R.V.I.S into the car and made it that it could drive by itself when needed. I got into the car and quickly drove out of the basement. I was driving to a cemetery where my mom, dad, and twin is buried.

“Where do you think she’s going?” That was almost the only question asked after everyone had found the note Alex had left.

“How are we supposed to know?” Now that, was a answer everyone gave. They were all in the basement, where all the cars and Tonys lab is. Thor was nearly dying because he was so bored. He dragged Vision back up to the main floor and tried to work, what he referred as ‘midgardian toys.’ Which were basically technology. 

“Hey J? Could you track Echo?” Tony asked J.A.R.V.I.S. Natasha raised a eyebrow at him as he stopped half way from eating a Pringle. He retracted his chip and gave her a weird look. After a couple of moments of blinking he understood why she was looking at him odd. His mouth formed a ‘O’ shape. “What? I name my cars.” He said casually as he continued with his Pringles. Nat just mentally face palmed silently. 

“It shows Echo is driving at a incredible speed and is headed a bit north.” J.A.R.V.I.S said in a monotone voice and projected a holo-screen and there was a black dot that stood out from the satellite behind it showing roads. In the corner of the black dot, there was a box that showed info about Echo.

Speed: Average. 185 MPH  Name: Echo Brand: Audi Type: R8 V10 plus Year: 2017

“Won’t she get a ticket or something?” Asked Clint as they gathered around the holo-screen. 

“Nah. She took MY car, darling. If the license plate has ‘Stark’ in it; she’ll be fine.” Tony said going through drawers trying to find keys for his other cars. Steve was basically frightened by her speed. His eyes wide open.

“She’s going 185 miles per hour and you’re caring about if she gets a ticket?!?! What if she gets in a crash or something?!?!” Steve yelled, if he went any louder, he would have broke everyones ear drums… even in china. 

“Yeah! What if she gets hurt? Or if she hurts someone else?!?” Loki yelled after Steve, grabbing peoples attention. Everyone went silent, realizing Steve and Loki didn’t know about Alex’s history.

“You really don’t know, don’t you?” Silence.

“Don’t know what?” Loki asked, his main concern at the moment is Alex’s safety; so was Steve’s. 

“About what she did before she was a S.H.I.E.L.D agent?” Nat asked, emphasizing on ‘before.’ The two boys were almost clueless. They shook their heads carefully. Bruce sighed and explained what had happened in Alex’s life.

“As a teen, she wasn’t always the… straight A’s type. She had always been the ‘badass’ in school.” Bruce explained, choosing his words carefully as he continued. “She… made some choices… Not very good choices, really. She had quit school when she was in high school. She… had raced. Had bet money, which is illegal. Her file wasn’t always clear, you know?” He said as he pulled up a file of Alex, which was clean. “This is her file now.” He said pointing to her file. 

“This used to be her file.” He said pulling up another file on another screen. It informed that she had been in prison quite often. It was probably like her second home. “It was only after the battle of New York when she had became a new person. And when she became a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. She improved so much; a new person she was. She forgot all about that life. So she became one of the top agents here.”   

 “And you don’t get to be one of the top agents without a couple scars and bruises.” 

 “It appears Alex and Echo has slowed down and come to a stop.” Everyone’s attention had returned to the other hologram which had Echo and Alex’s location. It had appeared that the black dot had stopped moving. 

 “Why is she at a cemetery?” Nat wondered out loud. 

 “I don’t know, but we gotta go there to see if she’s okay, preferably NOW.” 

 I had reached the cemetery within about twenty minutes. If I had driven at the speed of a turtle, I’d get there in a hour and a half. I got out of the car and stood in front of the gates, watching the gates as if they were going to come to life. I took a deep breath and slipped through the locked gates. 

 I walked around the cemetery looking at headstones. I remember exactly where my family was. The center. I walked along the path with my hand in the pockets of my hoodie, the other hand with roses. Staring at the ground in front of me, I came to a stop. I carefully looked to the headstones in front of me. I took a shaky breath and looked at the words engraved in them.

R.I.P Lilly Winchester June 11, 1945 - May 4, 2012 Here lies a beloved  Mother      Leader            Friend                  Wife                       Sister  R.I.P Thomas ‘Tommy’ Winchester December 28, 1991 - December 27, 2003 "I hate to leave you all one day, but I promise you, we’ll meet again someday.” 

R.I.P Charles Winchester June 26, 1944 - December 27, 2003 “If I could do life all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

I sat down in front of my mothers headstone with my fathers and brothers headstone on either side. I sat criss cross, staring at the ground, picking on the grass in silence. I slowly looked up. 

 “Hey, mom.” I whispered weakly, my voice was breaking and it hasn’t been five minutes yet. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” I chuckled quietly. “I got you your favorite roses,” I started as I laid a couple roses in front of them. “I know your favorites are the dark red and white ones, I got you those.” I started to play with the roses, putting them dark red and white as a pattern. “I joined the Avengers, you know? The comics about those superheroes you liked as a child? Yeah, I’m with them. It’s overwhelming sometimes, you know? I live with the people who could have saved you, but couldn’t. I could’ve saved you, but I didn’t…” 

I rubbed a hand on my face and through my hair, a bad habit I have. “…Wow… I just… I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s been just so terribly long and I missed you guys so m-” I paused ranting when I felt my hand touch a hard surface. I was really sure that roses weren’t hard and the headstone didn’t have that texture. My hand was behind the headstone when I pulled out a MP3 player. My mom had always loved those even though I told her she could just download music now. It was old, and dusty. It was the type that didn’t need headphones, the speaker type. 

 I blew off some of the dust and coughed a bit from the dust going everywhere in the air. I glanced up at the headstone a bit confused where this was going. “What are you doing, mom?” I got rid of the access dust and read the small handwriting on the inside. 

 'For when my time is up' 

I could already feel my eyes tearing up. I gulped and with a shaky hand, pressed play. There was static and then there it was; her voice. Speaking. The one I had missed so much. 

"Hi, darling."  The first tear dropped. It was actually was her! I couldn't believe it. After seven years. It was her voice. I stared at the headstone in front of me intensely with a emotionless face, listening to the voice. 

"I already know it's going to be a long time after I die when you're going to get a chance to listen to this." It honestly felt as if someone was taking my heart and ripping it to pieces. 

"I know that you might blame yourself for all of this. That your brother and father... passed. But, honey, it isn't. No matter what, it was never your fault for any of our deaths." Her voice was smooth and gentle. She never yelled at me. It was always the gentle voice talking to me. 

"If you're listening to this, I would presume I'm dead. And I know you had a hard time getting over your siblings death and mine. You might’ve never told me that you weren’t ‘okay’... but I knew you weren’t.” I pursed my lips, trying my best to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

“I know you’re feeling lost, and everywhere you go is like a dark room. But you just gotta keep going, find the light; your light... God, this is so cheesy... Find that special someone, if you don’t already. Because i need someone to take care of you, the day I can’t.” I was staring at the MO3 player in my lap with tears dropping onto it.

“There will be things you don’t want to happen, but have to accept it. Things... we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without, but have to let go. Darling, I’ve been through all of that I came out just fine. I even earned you in the process. You haven’t let go us yet, haven’t you.” I nodded a silent reply as if she was there.

“Find that special someone, learn to let go of me. Learn to let go. Learn to love others when I can’t. Learn to find a light when others can’t... Okay? Just find your way in this world. Okay, honey?”  I nodded carefully, while sobbing.

“Mommy?” That was my voice...

“Yes, darling?”

“What are you doing?” She was always making something as I grew up.

“A creation you will see when you are older.”

All of a sudden the MP3 player bounced out of my hands and in front of me. It laid there making mechanical sounds. I wiped all the tears from my face. It unfolded and a small camera with a indent on the side; my initials. A 3D hologram formed from the bottom out of small virtual pixels.

It was my mom hugging me on her knees. She was facing the camera as I hugged her.

“I love you, Alex.” My mom whispered, looking directly at the camera, on the verge of tears. 

“i love you too, mom.” The small version of myself and I said at the same time. She looked directly in my eyes and whistled a tune from her favorite song. Both myself and the small version of me whistled it back. I chuckled as tears fell from my eyes. 

“Goodbye, Alex.” The camera whirred back into the MP3 player and the hologram was no more. The MP3 folded back into a normal MP3. I stared at the MP3, sobbing. 

“Bye, mom.” I said between sobs. There was a presence started sitting next to me, and another on my other side. We sat in silence for a while as I looked at my lap, sobbing my lungs out. When I recovered from crying and ended up sniffling, the presence on my left talked to me.

“I lost people too, you know. I know it isn’t easy.” 

“I know.” Of course he did. He was in ice for seventy years. 

“I had too... my... mom had died in Asgard, protecting my brothers lady.”

“I know.” He had told me that when we met for one of the first times. “When did you come?” I asked the two men sitting next to me.

“When you started playing the MP3.” A voice said from behind me. I looked behind me and saw most of the team standing. I stood up, along with Steve and Loki. I hugged Tony and sobbed into his shoulder. He tensed for a moment but hugged me back, anyways. It wasn’t a weird hug. It was the type of hug where a father would give a daughter, and I haven’t had one of those in a long time. 

“Let’s go home, okay?” Loki asked me as I pulled away from Tony. I nodded with red puffy eyes. He pulled me into his side and held onto my waist. His other hand was entangled with mine. We walked back to the cars and motorcycles. We all went on our vehicles and headed back home. 

But not without Wanda whispering, “I think she found her special someone.”

•UNEDITED•

Tag: @meatballevan  

[imagine-that-100]

Holiday | Part 6 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Alex Turner and the other boys from Arctic Monkeys since you were 13. You never for a second thought that Alex would release a song about you though. From late night phone calls and almost constant texting and teasing, you’ve managed to stay close with him over the years. When a pact is established and a holiday is arranged, life seems to be treating you very well. But a month in LA will either make or break you.

Word Count: 10.7K

A/N: Oh my god I’m sorry it’s being posted slightly later than usual. I wanted it to be worth the read so I got it above 10k words. Thank you for all the suggestions I got today, I ended up going with @murderousginger​ suggestion though because it was the cutest shit I’ve ever heard and I couldn’t stop writing it. Won’t lie I haven’t fully proof read so I’m sorry about that but I really hope you enjoy. Taglists are always open. Thank you for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the days after the jokes carried on but you both weren’t quite as forward with it when you were in front of people.

But the night that you ended up going out for a meal, you both sort of had to pretend it was real.

“Y/N” Alex called as he walked into the lounge.

You were sat in your spot on the sofa just scrolling though twitter on your phone. You weren’t that invested in it so you were happy for whatever distraction he was about to bring.

“Yes, my love?” You say as you look up from your phone to the messy haired brunette that was your best friend, Alex Turner.

Alex grinned at you calling him that, but he didn’t make it obvious that he would love you to address him like that all the time. He just tried to carry on his conversation without grinning as much.

“So, I was thinking…” Alex says as he sits himself down next to you but then shuffles closer.

“Never a good thing” You smile at him teasingly as you lock your phone.

Alex then sends you an evil glare before pushing your shoulder. You half fall onto the arm of the settee before you sigh at his actions.

“Why do you insist on bullying me Al? I’ve done nothing wrong” You said sitting yourself back up, now facing the brunette next to you.

Alex scoffed at that, “You just said that I think too much”

“No, I didn’t at all” You defend yourself, shaking your head.

“Well you inferred it then” Alex said, and you didn’t have a comeback.

You could only smile at him and Alex looked at you with a victorious smirk.

“Wipe that smile off your face and tell me what you’re thinking” You grin at him before putting your hand over his mouth for a second.

Alex chuckled beneath your hand before he pulled away so he could tell you.

“I was thinking, we could go out for dinner tonight with Matt and Bre?” Alex purposed.

“Yeah I’m up for that” You smile at your best friend.

“Sweet I’ll ring the Matt and see if they wanna go. I’m really excited to finally go here. It’s meant to be really nice” Alex tells you, excitement clear in his voice.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing though” You grin at Alex knowingly.

He looked at you dumbfounded, obviously not following you at all.

“You just don’t want to cook” You point out and Alex bursts out laughing.

“Damn right. Stop calling me out on it though” He laughed, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

After double checking with Alex what sort of restaurant it was, you ended up dressing yourself in a burgundy dress that came down to your mid-thigh. You didn’t bother with much make up you just ended up doing a winged eyeliner and a little bit of nude eyeshadow.

You put some black heels on and put your purse and phone in your black bag that you brought and once your hair was straightened you went downstairs.

You waited for Alex to come down before you put your leather jacket on. You didn’t think about bringing a dressy coat with you so the leather jacket would have to do.

Alex ended up coming down the stairs in an all-black suit which you fucking adored. He looked fit as fuck and that was putting it nicely.

He’d styled his hair back like usual and fuck, you wanted him to just call off the meal and take you upstairs. He looked delicious.

Before you knew it, you were in the car on the way to the restaurant. Matt and Breana said that they would drive up separately which no one minded about.

You were just going to wait for them when you got there.

“If I’m going out to dinner with you Alex, you better treat me right” You tell him in the car.

He scoffs at you, “When have I ever treated you wrong?”

“That time that you didn’t even give me a chip and I paid for your takeout” You recalled with a giggle.

When you got to the lovely looking restaurant, you and Alex headed to the bar to get yourselves a drink first. You got the both of you the first one and paid cash for them so at least you could say you got something tonight.  

You had no doubt you’d fight Alex over the bill later.

After about 20 minutes and Matt and Breana were still nowhere to be seen, Alex decided the ring them to see where they were.

“Where are you both?” Alex asked when Matt answered the call.

Matt told him, “The car’s broke down”

“Shit, are you alright, do you need us to come get you?” Alex asks but he doesn’t hear Matt’s reply because you took his attention.

“Are they okay?” You ask, slightly worried.

Breana wasn’t due for another 3 months, so you mind immediately went to the baby.

Alex obviously saw the worry that took over your gorgeous face and he nodded to calm your nerves. He put this arm around you and ran his hand up and down your arm to try and sooth you a bit.

“Yeah don’t worry, their car broke down” Alex told you.

“Oh shit” You say, a small pout forming on your lips.

Alex wanted to kiss it away.

“Do we need to go get them?” You ask as you look into those brown eyes and ask.

“Shall we come get you?” Alex asks Matt again.

“Nah don’t worry we’re fine at home” Matt told him, which confused Alex a hell of a lot.

How could they have already been at home if the car was broke down? They said they set off 5 minutes after you both did in the text he sent before.

“But I thought you jus-“ Alex started, but Matt interrupted him.

“Yeah that’s the excuse you can tell Y/N about why we’re not there” Matt told Alex.

“What?” Alex asked now completely confused.

Matt told Alex, “We’re not coming. We are reliving you of our presence so you can grow some balls and go on a date with Y/N”

“Matt -” Alex was about to scorn him, but he was interrupted yet again.

“No don’t start, just shut up… You won’t pull your finger out and do it yourself so here’s your gentle shove in the right direction…” Matt tells him and Alex all of a sudden wants to murder his best friend.

“We hope you both have a lovely night, and you can consider this a date with her. So then if it goes well, you’ll hopefully finally both do something about the suffocating sexual tension” Matt can’t help but chuckle.

“You’re a twat” Alex scorns him in a low voice.

“I am a twat for putting petrol in my diesel car, you’re right. That’s the story by the way. Have a great night Al” Matt said before hanging up the phone.

His best friend played games well, Alex would give him that.

“What’s going on?” You asked as you watched Alex putting his phone in his pocket.

“Matt’s an idiot and put petrol instead of diesel in his car, so it’s fucked” Alex told you going along with the story he was given.

You can’t help but laugh, “He’s such an idiot”

“I know”

You ask your boy in black, “Are we going to get them?”

Alex decided to give his best friend’s plan a shot, “Actually he told us to have the meal anyway. He said there was no point in ruining everyone’s night because of his stupid mistake so he told us to carry on”

“Ooo, so I get my boyfriend all to myself then?” You cheekily grin up at him.

“You have me all to yourself anyway” Alex says with a grin.

You can’t help but smile at that as you take a sip of your drink.

“I’ll just go tell someone to change the table for two instead” Alex told you before placing a kiss to the top of your head. 

Why did even that send your heart racing a mile a minute?

“Let me hang your jacket up whilst I go?” Alex asked you as he gave a small tug on the collar at the back of the jacket. 

You smiled at how gentlemanly he was being and you let the jacket slip off your shoulders as he pulled the leather from your arms. 

“Thought we were saving the strip tease for when we got home Al?” You turn and grin at him. 

Alex smirked and raised his eyebrows at you suggestively as he put your jacket over his arm. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be after one when we get home too. But that can go instead of the jacket” Alex said nodding down to your dress. 

You couldn't help but grin at the thought. You raised your eyebrows suggestively at him and he could see the playfulness in your eyes. 

Alex winked at you before disappearing off and you have to get your temperature under control whilst he’s absent. Everything he did made you hot and bothered. 

You really were a complete mess for Alex Turner. 

After Alex sorts everything out, he comes back over and you note that he’s now rolled the sleeves of his black shirt up to his elbows. So you’re left subtly looking at his toned arms and it was like you were having your meal now. 

He was to die for. 

Everything about him drew you in. The aftershave he used smelt amazing and you’d obviously already took notice of his strong arms. 

But with the blazer shed off him too, you loved that his shirt hung open a bit more because nothing was keeping it in place. The 4 buttons that he had undone made him more drool worthy. 

And not to mention the stunning jawline, high cheek bones and perfectly styled hair. His chocolate brown eyes that never strayed away from you also made you hot and bothered. 

When you’d both finished your drinks at the bar, you nudge Alex with your shoulder. After understanding your silent instruction for you to follow him he was hot on your heels. 

“Right boyfriend, come on” You joke as you head towards reception where you were told go when you were ready to come through to the table.

“Ah, this lovely gentleman is your boyfriend?” The older waiter asks you. You can hear a hint of an Italian accent too and you love it.

“Oh I…” You start stumbling on your words, not meaning for anyone to hear the joke but Alex.

“How lucky are you sir, to call this beautiful lady yours, yes?” The Italian man asks Alex with a grin.

“Oh yes, I’m very lucky” Alex says before throwing an arm around your waist and he pulls you into his side.

“You are indeed sir, follow me and I’ll show you to your table” The man smiles

You start to follow the man in the dapper black suit, but Alex keeps you close to him as you do.

“Looks like your definitely mine for the night now” Alex says and without looking at him, you can tell a smirk will be on his face.

You fire back though, “Thought I was definitely yours anyway?” trying to get even with him for the what he said at the bar.

You hear his low chuckle as you make your way to the table where the lovely older gentleman is waiting for the two of you.

The waiter tucks your chair in for you and you send him a smile of gratitude. You can’t help but take in your surroundings though.

The restaurant was stunning. Despite it having a lot of tables, it still felt quite personal.

You had a lot of space and the room was immaculately presented. The theme you could tell straight away was black and red.

From the waiter’s uniforms with the black suit with the red tie, to the menus that had the same colours and the red water glass and napkin on the table. You and Alex had matched the room pretty well.

And considering you’d never been here before, the burgundy dress made you feel like you fit in more. You still felt like you were a bit too common for such a fancy place, but you could already tell you’d love your night here.

“My name is Roberto and I’ll be serving you this evening” He told you as he poured the both of you some water.

Roberto then proceeded to tell you what was on the menu and you’re immediately overwhelmed by choice.

Roberto gave the both of you a few minutes to look at the menu which you were thankful for.

“I have no idea what to get” You tell Alex as you look through the menu.

“Same honestly” Alex chuckles and after 5 minutes of deliberation you both finally decide.

Roberto came back over not long after and took your order, and Alex ordered a bottle of Malbec for the table to.

You felt so fancy, you hadn’t been to a restaurant like this in a long time. You sort of felt like you were on a date too which you definitely didn’t mind about.

After all, he was your ‘boyfriend’.  

As Roberto took the menus from you, he asked, “So, what are we celebrating today? Anniversary? Birthday?”

“Bit of an early birthday for this one” Alex smiled across from you, you can’t help but grin back.

“Oh lovely. How old, if you don’t mind me asking?” Roberto asks you, taking up your attention again.

You smile at the lovely man, “I’ll be twenty-nine at the end of the month”

“Ah lovely, you look about twenty-one” Roberto jokes.

“You’re too kind” You laugh.

“No just truthful” He grins at you.

“What are you doing with this old man, why can’t you give someone like me a chance, ey?” Roberto asked before gently putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation. “What can I say? He was just too lovely to not give him a chance”

“Handsome too, no?” Roberto asks you and you watched as the smile grew on Alex’s face.

He was cheekily waiting for your answer with a huge grin and it only got bigger when you said, “Yeah I guess he is”

Alex could see that you were trying not to smile at Roberto’s question. You didn’t even look embarrassed to give him the compliment.

“You better keep her close, my friend. Because I want to steal her from you” Roberto told Alex and the both of you chuckled.

You could feel your cheeks growing hot at what Roberto had said but also at that Alex told him.

“Sorry mate, I’ve gotta keep her all to myself. She’s stunning and she’s too good to me, so I can’t be sharing her” Alex told him with a smile.

When Alex looks back to you though, he sees you grinning at him.

God, he loved seeing you smiling at him. And you looked out of this world. 

Alex wished you were his.

After a few minutes you slip into normal conversation with each other. But Roberto comes back with the bottle of wine that Alex ordered you both and turns the conversation back to the two of you.

As he pours the wine into both of your glasses, he asks you, “So how long has the lovely couple been together?”

You and Alex look at each other for a second not knowing what to say, until something pops into Alex’s head.

“Nine years or so” Alex tells Roberto.

You couldn’t help but silently chuckle at the number. That’s what the article had said about you both.

“Oh wow, that’s wonderful. Together since you were children then?” Roberto asks as he finished pouring the wine.

“We grew up together” Alex tells him and Roberto’s face morphs into one of complete joy.

Roberto’s Italian accent rang out as he said, “That is so sweet”

He chats to you some more before he’s moves along to another table but every time he comes back, he can’t help but make you smile.

You and Alex were flirty quite a lot of the night anyway, but it just got so much more interesting for the both of you when you were called out on it.

Roberto certainly knew how to be an amazing and cheeky host.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I’ve got to ask you to stop looking at each other with so much love and adoration, because I’m afraid me and a few other customers are getting jealous” Roberto comes and tells you both just before your main course comes.

You can’t help but giggle at his antics. This man was sent from heaven you had no doubt at all.

Roberto tells you both, “You two are actually the cutest pair I’ve seen in a long while”

“You’re both so adorable, I hope me and my wife looked like this at your age” When Roberto told you that, you heart melted instantly.

“How long have you been with your wife?” You can’t help yourself but ask.

Roberto thinks for a year at “It will be fourty-two years in October”

You can’t help but release an ‘Awh’ before you say, “That is the cutest thing ever”

“Yes, she was my high school sweetheart as people over here would say” Roberto tells you both and it makes you want a love story like Roberto’s.

Why did this relationship have to be a fake one? Fucks sake.

“My question for you though my friend, is why haven’t you made her yours yet?” Roberto asks Alex as he picks up your left hand, examining your bare ring finger.

You couldn’t help but feel yourself go hot at the question. Alex seems to keep his cool though and he smiled at Roberto then to you before saying, “I’ve got it planned don’t worry”

“Oh my…” Roberto says with a smile looking down at you.

You smile up a Roberto’s joy and he asks Alex, “Please tell me I haven’t ruined the surprise for tonight?”

Bless the worried man. He was so adorable.

“No, you’re good, don’t worry. I was thinking next year” Alex tells him but looks at you.

You knew he was talking about the pact straight away. It especially just confirmed it when he raised his eyebrows playfully at you.

“Best thing I ever did was getting married” Roberto tells you both. And he makes you go all embarrassed again when he tells you and Alex, “You’ll love it, I assure you… The honeymoon especially”

After Roberto making comments all night about the two of you though, the best definitely came when he cleared your main course plates away.

“I hope you don’t keep each other up too late when you get back home” Roberto grinned at the two of you.

That took Alex back a bit. He didn’t really know what to say without it either being too forward to you or ruining the little charade that you both created.

It seemed like you had other ideas though.

“No promises there” You say with a cheeky smile to the lovely Roberto, before glancing back to Alex.

He looks at you and you can see he’s holding back a smile. You loved his little tells, you knew him so well.

“Lucky man” Roberto clasps Alex on the shoulder before disappearing off.

“Gunna keep me up Y/N?” Alex questions you.

“If you play your cards right Al, you never know” You can’t help the slight smirk that comes onto your face before you take a drink of the red wine.

Alex’s eyes darken a bit at that, and he decides to play your little game a bit more.

“I’ll hold you to that Y/N/N” Alex tells you before leaning forwards the tiniest bit more.

You can’t help but saying, “Hopefully that won’t be the only thing you hold” before taking another sip of your wine.

The way you both stared at each other after that, made you feel like you were the only two people in the busy restaurant.

The intensity between you was like the room was on fire. You loved that you had his attention and he was looking at you like he wanted to take you on the table.

The moment was gone when Roberto came back with a brownie that had a candle in it, and he placed it down in front of you.

He was softly singing happy birthday to you and you couldn’t help but giggle at the lovely cheeky gentleman who was serving you.

You glanced back to Alex who now also had the cheekiest grin on his face as he chuckled and sang along quietly with Roberto. How the fuck did he go from looking at you like you were a meal to him being the cheeky boy you’d always loved?

It wasn’t fair how much of a snack he was.

When Roberto finished singing and you’ve blown out the candle, you couldn’t help but say, “Thank you so much”

“Anything for you Darling” He said before picking up your hand and kissing the top of it.

You couldn’t help but smile at the man who had made your evening 10 times better. “I think you’ve earnt a kiss on the cheek” You tell Roberto and he grins at you.

“Are you sure your man won’t mind?” He cheekily asks you before looking to Alex almost to check if it was safe to do so.

Alex is just smiling, especially when you say, “Don’t worry about him, he can have his own later”

“What a very lucky man” Roberto says as he kisses both of your cheeks.

You can’t help but laugh at his jokes. “Thank you, Roberto”

“Anything for you my dear” He tells you as he wonders off

“I actually love that man so much” You can’t help but grin at Alex, placing a hand over your heart.

“Remember you’re mine tonight” With a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, how could I forget” You grin at him but then you get a whiff of the chocolate treat that lies in front of you.

“You want to share?” You ask moving the candle that lit the table to the side a bit and also moving the roses to the side too.

“Silly question” Alex says grabbing his spoon before sitting forward.

You giggle at his enthusiasm before removing the long candle in the centre of the brownie. You both end up finishing the brownie off in less than two minutes. To be fair to you it wasn’t big, but it was fucking delicious.

After you both finish that off Roberto brings out the actual deserts that you ordered. You actually have to hold back the moan that wants to escape you lips as you eat the warm chocolate fudge cake.

Alex wanted to thank his lucky stars that you were eating that chocolate cake in front of him. The way your eyes rolled and then you shut your eyes as if it was the most pleasurable thing that had ever happened to you made Alex want to try and make you look like that whilst he was doing something just as pleasurable to you.

“This is the nicest thing I’ve ever tasted in my entire life” You take Alex out of his little trance.

“You gunna let me try some?” Alex asked you, once he got his bearings back.

You smile and wipe your face with your napkin, making sure no chocolate was on you. “Only if I can try some of that cheesecake” You tell him.

It looked really nice; You couldn’t even lie.

Alex gets a bit of the cheesecake on his spoon and holds it up to you to eat. You don’t even hesitate to lean forward and eat it from his spoon.

Something that Alex was very thankful for because he got to see your beautiful lips wrap around something, he now wished he could be. And he got to see a little more of your cleavage which was something he definitely wouldn’t be complaining about.

He needed to stop thinking like this. It wasn’t healthy for your friendship.

You lean back once you’ve taken the dessert in your mouth and you love the taste of this one as well. This restaurant completely won with their desserts.

“That’s really nice too, oh my god” You can’t help but groan at the taste.

“I know” Alex smiles at you.

He looks down to your cake and he nods towards it. “Come on now Love, don’t be stingy I want some of that”

You collect some of the gorgeous cake on your spoon and make sure you get some of the melted chocolate on it to before you hold it out for him, like he had done for you.

Alex leans forward and takes it into his mouth and as soon as it touches his tongue, he understood why you had the reaction you did to it. It was lovely.

“Isn’t that the best thing you could ever want to taste?” You ask him.

Alex nods smiling to you but he’s lying to you.

He’d rather have a taste of you.

The rest of the night involves Roberto making you hot and bothered by calling you out even more because once you’re finished you stay and chat for a while.

Roberto comes up and says things to Alex like, “Why haven’t you taken your beauty home yet?” and “Come on you can’t be staying out too late when you have things to be doing when you get home”

You were burning hot each and every time he came back up, but he never failed to make you laugh. He always said he was joking too as if you didn’t both already know.

He was such a cheeky guy; You’d absolutely loved your evening with him waiting on you. And you were certain Alex was enjoying it too because of the cheeky suggestive looks he was giving you every time Roberto left the two of you.

Roberto was literally the wing man of the century.

When you do finally get home after hours of chatting, it wasn’t even that late. Maybe you should start eating earlier because you had so much time to chat afterwards.

But when you get back home, you are reminded why you usually eat later on and not at 6pm.

“Are you hungry? Because I’m fucking starving now” Alex asks as you both walk through the front door of his massive house.

“Oh thank god it’s not just me” You couldn’t help but giggle as you slipped your heels off by the door.  

Alex laughed at your relief and after you hung your leather jacket up, you walked to your man and rested your head on his shoulder.

“I felt so bad because of how expensive it was but I just don’t understand why fancy restaurants feel the need to have tiny portion sizes when you’re paying more money” You say as your hands wrap themselves around his waist, travelling inside his blazer though.

Alex had ended up paying for the meal whilst Roberto was in front of you so you could keep up the charade that was this relationship.

You tried your hardest to make him take the money off you for it in the car on the way home. But Alex point blank told you no and that it actually was for your birthday.

Alex smiles feeling your hands travel inside his blazer, obviously wanting a hug.

He wraps his arms around your waist and tells you, “You pay for the experience at a restaurant and half the time it’s usually shit”

“Well it wasn’t shit tonight… I had so much fun” You tell him without hesitating at all, as you pick your head up to look at him.

“Yeah?” Alex questions.

You nod with a big smile on your lips, “Yeah course I did… Every night with you is fun Alex”

“It’s a shame every night’s just moderately okay with you then, isn’t it?” Alex tells you cheekily.

“You cheeky bitch” You can’t help but laugh at the giant grin on his face, giving his lie away.

“You know you love me” You say as you make your way through the kitchen and into the lounge, not forgetting the wine glasses on the way.

You and Alex only had the one glass at the actual restaurant because Alex was driving you both home and you didn’t want to drink loads if he wasn’t. So, you both decided to save the majority for back here.

“I guess you’re alright” Alex says as he takes off his blazer.

“Alexxx” You whine but laugh, and he can’t help but chuckle too.

“I’m joking. I’m joking” Alex chuckles as you both collapse into your spots next to each other on the settee and finish off the bottle of wine.

~*~*~*~

The following morning, Matt and Breana came around, they said to make up for missing last night. You all had a mini pool party which was so fun.

You and Breana had a nice catch up, even though you’d seen her the day after you landed, and you both relaxed by the poolside too. The lads kept themselves entertained by throwing themselves into the pool and you even helped Alex out when he kept Matt’s attention and you pushed him in.

After their pool antics, Alex got tired pretty quickly after a full morning of messing around. At around 1:30pm both you and Breana sent him upstairs as he was literally asleep on the settee.

Your morning in the pool quickly turned into a lazy one when you all headed inside now fully clothed. You wore some light blue denim jean shorts with a white vest top tucked into it and Alex wore some blue jeans and a dark grey crewneck top.

He was however, crumpling the top as he lay asleep after half an hour of chatting.

In no way could he have been comfortable, so you both just said he may as well just go and have a proper nap upstairs. He didn’t argue with either of you, he just made sure you were alright staying downstairs.

“You gunna be alright?” Alex asked as he got up from the sofa.

“Alex. I’m twenty-eight, I’ve not lived with my mum for six years and Matt and Bre are here. I can take care of myself” You tell him with a smile.

“Just go to bed” You instruct as you point towards the stairs.

“Okay. I’ll see you two soon, I’m sure” Alex gives a little wave to Matt and Breana as he climbs the stairs.

“Night Al” Breana calls after him, and you all have a little chuckle when he calls back down the stairs.

“Goodnight” He yells.

Matt and Breana stay for another hour until they have to go out to one of Breana’s friend’s houses. You didn’t ask as you didn’t want to pry, but you could see on Matt’s face that he didn’t really want to go.

You had no doubt that he’d much rather stay with you and Alex the whole day, but the things people do for the ones they love, ey? You knew that by the time he got home he’d be having withdrawal symptoms from Alex.

After about half an hour of you sitting reading outside you were bored. You couldn’t have a jam to the music because you didn’t want to wake Alex up with it.

It was too early to cook anything, and you didn’t feel like going swimming in the pool again. Well not alone anyway.

You also couldn’t call anyone back home because of the time difference. It was an awful ordeal that just left you alone over here. And you definitely weren’t calling Miles.

And in truth you were missing Alex’s company. Never mind Matt having withdrawal symptoms, you were just as bad if not worse.

So, after another 5 minutes you thought you’d go and wake him up because you knew he wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t sleep tonight if you didn’t wake him up anyway.

You walked into his room slowly to see that the blinds had been half drawn so the room was dim enough to be able to sleep in. As you got closer to him you called, “Boyfriend”

You heard Alex let out a long, tired sigh which informed you that he was at least half awake. You got closer to his bed and noted that he had stripped off his top and you could see his muscles resting above the covers.

His jeans had also been discarded on the floor which led you to believe he was just in his underwear.

“Come on boyfriend. I want some attention” You said as you reached the end of his bed.

“I wanna sleep” Alex groaned.

“And I want my boyfriend to keep me entertained but he’s always in bed” You joke with him.

“Jump in and I’ll keep you very entertained” Alex said in a low husky voice that made you gulp.

You thought you’d test this little game he seemed like he wanted to play. So when he turned and lay on his back to look at you, you climbed onto his bed on your knees.

You crawled up over his body which caused Alex’s eyes to open fully and watch your movements. You rest yourself down on top of him and your head was about half a foot away from his before you rested your chin down on his chest.

You smiled at him and said, “This where you want me?”

Alex chuckled before shaking his head, “Under the covers would be better”

You chuckle at that before picking yourself up off him and getting yourself under the covers next to him. You pull the covers up to your shoulders so you can keep the warmth that you’ve found from being under there.

“Awh, my girl, all snuggled up in bed. Wanna cuddle and nap with me?” Alex grinned at you curled up facing him.

“I wanted my man to get up and come outside with me” You say hopefully but his bed was rather comfy, you didn’t mind staying.

“This is definitely more fun than outside Y/N/N. Roll over” He instructs.

“Yes boss” You chuckle doing as you told, so your backs now facing him, and you feel him moving behind you.

“Get yourself comfy” Alex instructs you and you do.

You take a pillow from underneath you head and bring it to your side and hug it against you.

“Okay” You hum.

The next thing you feel is your hair being moved to the side and Alex’s arm wrap around your waist. His chest then presses against your back and he nuzzles his head into the back of your neck.

You can feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest at this. You’d never wanted to be somewhere more in your life, but you were nervous despite knowing everything was fine.

You felt Alex release a sigh onto the back of your neck which caused a little shiver to run down your spine. Alex seemed to take notice of it as he said to you “Relax Y/N/N. I won’t bite you unless you want me to”

You lowly chuckled at his joke and you took a deep breath before letting your body relax.

As you do you joke, “I knew you had a thing for biting” which made Alex laugh against your skin.

You smile as you hugged the pillow slightly closer to you as you lent back into Alex a bit.

This action made Alex smile. He liked the feeling of you pressing yourself against him, so he hugged you the tiniest bit tighter.

“Would I be expecting this a lot next year?” You ask him.

You feel him hum against your neck and slightly nod, “Every day we’re home”

“And we’d just pass the time in bed?” You question trying not to smile.

“Yeah that’s how I’d see our days going” Alex tells you.

“How do you picture it Al?” You ask him curiously.

He hums for a second before he starts making up the story, “I recon we’d wake up and doze about in here for a bit because we both don’t like waking up, and then you’d go for your shower, I’d go and make us bacon butties for breakfast…”

You can’t help but smile as he carries on, “Then we’d be lazy for the morning and catch up on last night TV from back home downstairs with a cuppa tea. And then when I got tired, at like three, I’d come back up here and you’d listen to your music for a while until you’d come and bother me”

“Like right now?” You smile, enjoying the feeling of him talking almost right down your ear and him being so close.

Alex smiled again your skin, “Exactly like now. Then you’d come to bed again and we’d nap till 6ish because we both don’t get hungry till later anyway”

He paused for a second obviously thinking for more ways to fill out your imaginary days.

He continues with, “Then I’d go and have my shower and, depending on the day, one of us would make tea and we’d eat it on our knee as we watched a film… because lets me honest we’d only eat the Sunday Roast you make at the table because we’re lazy fuckers and just wanna be comfy all the time”

You chuckle at that completely agreeing with him. You loved how he’d planned your days together even though you could tell he was making it up on the spot you loved everything you were hearing.

“Then after the film we would stick some shit TV on from over here or back home… Or we’d watch a new series and we’d cuddle on the settee until one of us falls asleep and the other would have to drag us back up here.” Alex explained and you let out an amused hum at the last part.

“But when we get into bed, we’d of found a bit more energy and we just lie down chatting like this until we both went to sleep and the process repeated itself the next day” Alex finishes off.

It’s no fucking wonder he was so good at writing songs if he could just make up scenarios as quickly as he had done then. He astounded you.

“I like the sound of that” You hummed and lent back into him a bit more.

You felt Alex smile against your skin, “Yeah?”

You nodded against your pillow “Yeah... but you left some details out boyfriend”

A chuckled escaped Alex’s lips at the nickname again.

“Like what girlfriend?” Alex smirked against your skin at the nicknames that had stuck the past few days.

“You forgot about the sex” You said.

Your voice sounding more tired than you were before, but Alex was now slightly more awake hearing that word fall from your lips.

Alex cleared his throat before saying, “Don’t worry we’d definitely find the time for that”

“Don’t worry that’s all scheduled in my brain now. I know exactly where it’s going” You smile to yourself.

“Wanna enlighten me?” Alex said against your skin and you loved the feeling despite it being perfectly innocent.

Alex feels you nod your head before you start to tell him your new schedule. “Well because we’re not going to be boring bastards when we get to thirty, we’re going to be having sex at least twice a day” You can’t help but grin.

You tease though and say, “If you can handle that Turner?”

Alex chuckles against your skin and this time he nods “That’s very okay with me”

“Good… So, the first time would be in the morning. Just after we’ve woken up so we start the day off in a good mood... But in the morning, it’s slow. We’re both still tired but it still feels amazing because it’s not rushed and we’re taking our time because we’ve got nowhere else to be” You explain to Alex and you had to stop yourself from imagining it.  

Alex wanted to do what your describing right now. He didn’t want to wait a year for this.

Everything you were saying was something he wanted to do now and as you carried on, it just confirmed it in his mind.

“Then afterwards, like you said, is when I’d have my shower… But you wouldn’t join me because you’d know we’d be having sex again later and you’re too lazy to have two showers a day when you could be doing something else” You explained, and Alex chuckled. You knew him too well.

“Then like you said we would have a lazy morning, until you’d get tired again and come back to bed. And when I got bored of being by myself because my boyfriend’s once again left me alone…” You throw in the nickname again as a joke and you feel him smile again.

“I’d come and find you in here… And then I think I’d try and make you have sex with me again, but you’d have none of it and make me fall asleep next to you. I don’t even think sex would bring you out of that drowsy nap state that you get into” You tell him with a laugh and Alex chuckles even though you were wrong.

You, of all people, asking him for sex was something he’d never turn down. No matter the time of day, or if he was tired of not.

“So then when we both woke up again, I’m guessing you’d remember what I was promising you could do to me if you woke up earlier on and that’s when we go a bit crazy… That’s when we’re both like animals and we fuck each other senseless. Kinks and all… and I’d even put my knee socks on for you if you wanted me to” You could help but throw the knee socks in there for him.

‘Fuck’ Alex thought. He didn’t need that thought in his head when you were extremely close to him and you were both about to go to sleep.

“That sound okay so far?” You asked him and you felt and heard a low hum emit from him.

Alex was down for anything you would ever suggest about sex. He really had to stop himself from getting excited about the thought of it.  

“Good” You grin to yourself before you continue. Alex wanted to groan though. It was torture to him.

“So then after that you go for your shower, and depending if I could move or not after, I’ll come with you and maybe we get up to some more dirty things in the shower…” And then you feel the need to tease him a bit, despite you becoming tired.

“Maybe you’d fuck me against the wall, or you’d have me on my knees… I don’t know, something you’d enjoy for your shower” You say getting far to invested in this imaginary day.

Alex was now fighting to keep his breathing even. His heartbeat had accelerated at the mere thought of having sex with you, but you describing everything to him was sending him over the edge.

“And then like you said we could make dinner… And despite the days I would sit with you and watch you make the food and we’d chat about everything and nothing as we did that. And once we’d eaten, the cuddling would definitely happen whilst watching a film” You smile but then you grin as you continue

“But you know, if a sex scene came on… we both have the same mind, so if we weren’t tired, we would definitely shag each other until we were knackered” You chuckle.

“And then we’d come back to bed and wait the matter of hours until we could repeat it all over again” You finish telling him.

Alex cleared his throat before saying, “I like the sound of all of that Y/N/N”

“Me too” You grin silently freaking out that he was on board with everything.

“When are you thirty again?” Alex asked you and you giggled.

“In about three hundred and eighty days” You estimate.

Your birthday was a few days after you were due home from here. And if you were honest, you just wished it was next year already.

And it seemed you weren’t the only one.

“Do you wanna change the pact to you being twenty-nine?” Alex asks you.

You chuckled at that, “That wouldn’t be very fair on you Al”

“Why’s that?” Alex pried. He wanted to know exactly what you were thinking.

You started to yawn as you said, “You could get with another model or a singer in that time. You don’t wanna be stuck with me unless you have to”

“I think by the sound of it, I’ll happily be stuck with you when the time comes” Alex told you and he was being genuinely serious.

After what you just told him it just confirmed that he wanted you more than ever. Even if he didn’t have the balls to ask you out this time, he would damn well make sure he stayed single until your thirtieth. And he would pray that you stayed single too.

“You’re adorable Al” You say, and Alex can hear the sleepiness creep into your voice.

“So, twenty-nine then?” He asks against your skin hopefully.

You giggled before reiterating, “Thirty”

Then you properly yawned into the pillow you still hugged and tried to fall asleep.

He prolonged your tiredness though by asking, “Can we do it when I turn thirty instead?”

You laugh at that. You grin to yourself before saying, “Tell you what, we can have a practice on your birthday, if you want?”

“God yes” Alex said a bit too enthusiastically.

But you both laughed it off before you started settling again.

Alex found that you fell asleep in his arms relatively quickly after that. Your breathing slowed and you fully relaxed into his embrace.

He loved the feeling of you being against him and he tried to remember every detail about it before he fell back to sleep. Alex had no idea how long you’d both been asleep when you woke him up by moving yourself into a different position.

All Alex knew was that he was tired and wanted more sleep with you against him. And thankfully it seemed like you weren’t going anywhere.

You were trying to turn yourself over and you felt Alex pick his arm up that was around your waist which helped a lot. You twisted yourself round so you were facing him before you snuggled yourself against him again.

You felt Alex’s arm go back around you and you felt him move his other arm out so you could use it as a sort of pillow. You also absentmindedly made him tangle his legs with yours, so you were comfortably cuddled facing each other.

You head was now buried in Alex’s neck and he could feel your cool breath against him before you let out a small satisfied hum about your new position. The noise made Alex smile and he lent down a bit to kiss you on the top of your head.

You smiled at that not being fully asleep again yet, so you pressed you own kiss against his neck before you snuggled yourself into him again and tried to return back to sleep. Your action caused Alex to hug you tighter to him and he fell asleep again with a smile on his face.

Neither of you knew what time it was when Alex’s phone started ringing and neither of you wanted to move. You snuggled yourself tighter into Alex’s body to try and escape the sound of it. You felt him pull you tighter against him, as if it would shield you both from the noise.

Thankfully the phone stopped after a minute and you both tried to settle back to sleep, until it went off again. At that Alex groaned and started muttering profanities under his breath as he rolled himself onto his back.

That subsequently meant that you were now using his chest as a pillow and you let your arm rest on him as well.

“Hello” Alex answered groggily but it was easily the best hello you’d ever heard.

“Sorry, you’ve woke me up mate” Alex said after he cleared his throat with a small cough. You couldn’t hear who was on the other end of the phone, so you just focused on Alex’s replies.

“Yeah... Yeah we can do. What time do you want us?” He asked.

“What time is it now? Seven, right okay well see you in an hour then”

“Cya” Alex said before hanging up the phone and throwing it down the bed.

He lay his arm over yours that rested across his chest before he rubbed his thumb across it soothingly.

“Where’ve we gotta be?” You asked Alex with your eyes still closed. The tiredness could still be heard in your voice.

Alex let out a sigh and told you, “Matthew wants us round for a barbecue at eight. I only said yes because I can tell neither of us wants to cook anything tonight”

You smiled but said, “More like it’s your day and you don’t wanna cook”

Alex sleepily chuckled at that, “You got me”

You both dozed again for another 5 minutes until Alex let out a low groan which was again one of the best things you’d ever heard.

“I guess I’d better shower” He sighed.

You hummed in response to him but kept your eyes closed. You reluctantly moved yourself off him and let him escape as you stayed lay down.

You told him, “I’m gunna have another fifteen minutes here before I go get ready”

You heard Alex chuckle as he sat up and got himself off the bed after rubbing his face to wake him up a bit.

“You gunna join me, or did I wear you out?” Alex asked referring to the imaginary sex that you were planning to have after your naps in the future.

You giggle and open your eyes to look at him. He looked great with his hair smattered about in different direction, clearly fresh out of bed with grey boxers also low on his hips.

“Consider me fucked... I need my sleep Turner. You wear me out” You smile up at him.

“Did I do a good job?” He asked you with a hint of a smirk on his lips.

You chuckle closing your eyes again before saying, “Oh yeah. I wanna go again you were that good”

“Come in the shower and we can” Alex said after he stretched. You look at him with humour clear on your features as you reply to him.

“Alex if I do we would never make it to Matt’s, which would mean he’d come here to complain and he’d interrupt us” You tell him as you pull the covers back up and you hug the pillow that Alex was lay on.

“I hate that your right” Alex groaned.

“Go shower boyfriend” You hurry him with a smile because you wanna try and get back to sleep.

“My girlfriends moody when sleepy. Noted” Alex smiles looking at you lay in his bed. .

“Cheeky bitch” You murmur into the pillow and Alex laughs as he disappears into the bathroom.

Later you were woken up by Alex calling your name. Which you weren’t best pleased about.

“Y/N” You hear him call.

“Alex” You groan back.

After a second he shouts again “Y/N”

“Alex let me sleep” You complain not wanting to wake up.

Alex asks you, “I forgot a towel. You wanna get me the one from my wardrobe?”

“Alex it’s a walk-in wardrobe, get yourself one. I’m trying to sleep” You tell him. This man had more house than he needed. It was practically half empty it was that big his wardrobe.

“Oh yeah so you can perv on me” He says.

You throw the covers over your head and joke, “You’re safe from my pervy ways”

You hear the bathroom door open and Alex feet patting across the floor. And you have a funny thought as you hear him disappear off into his wardrobe.

You shout after him, “You know Alex, maybe I should just look? If I’m gunna see you like that anyway”

“If you get a free look. That means I get a free look” He shouts back, and you can hear the chuckle in his voice.

“Absolute not. I’ve got another year to hit the gym before you get me naked Alex” You grin to yourself.

Alex then pulls the cover off your head and you open your eyes to see that he’s in a pair of black boxers this time. You try not to let yourself look there though.

He looks down at you with his wet hair and says, “I’ve seen you in a bikini, there’s not that much difference… And do you really think I judge people on their looks?”

You furrow your eyebrows but keep the smile on your lips, “Erm, from the last two stunners you’ve publicly been out with… Yeah Alex, I think you do”

“Well I don’t… But you’re just as gorgeous as them anyway so shut up” He practically told you off.

“Lies” You call bullshit.

Both Alexa and Arielle were stunning, still are. You could never compare to either of them. You weren’t famous, you were just some girl from High Green who had a semi decent job behind her.

Alex frowned at you. “I’m not lying” He tells you in a stern voice.

“Your equally as sexy as them if not more so” He flirts, and he gives you them eyes again.

“Ooo Al, you should just have your way with me now then” You say sarcastically not believing a word.

“I mean if you want me to” Alex said before quickly getting on the bed, positioning himself between your legs. He hovered a few inches above you and you laughed at his actions.

Alex smiles down at you, you looked so cute giggling beneath him. And you still looked cute when you started scorning him because the water from his hair started dripping onto your face.

“Alex” You pouted wiping the water from your face.

Alex chuckled down at you before shaking his head and it got all over you. You wiped your face again as Alex laughed and then before he could do it again you brought your hands up and ran your fingers through his wet hair to try and comb it back.

You kept your hands in his hair so he couldn’t get you again and you giggled.

“Can you stop?” You pleaded.

Alex then shook his head before using one arm to remove your hands from his hair and pinning them above you whilst he got you with his hair again.

Alex shook his head and you watched as his hair fall back down and when it did, he let it run over your face. You giggled scrunching your face up and you smiled to yourself when your noses kept brushing as he did it.

“You’re so fucking annoying” You laugh as you get free of his grip.

You were both giggling for a good few seconds before you again wipe your face dry then you run your fingers through his hair to stop it dangling down onto your face. You look up unto his pretty brown eyes that are full of amusement and giggle.

“When do we have to leave?” You ask. Your eyes roaming his face.

He was so fucking perfect with his high cheekbones, the fucking incredible jawline and how flawless his skin was now.

“Soon. I had a longer shower so you could sleep in peace” He tells you still staying close. His eyes looking around your features to as he noted you studying his.

“Such a gentleman” You smile meeting his eyes again.

Alex grinned down at you partly because you were adorable and partly because he could feel you playing with the back of his hair.

“Always” Alex says.

After a second of silence as you both grin at each other, Alex does something that shocks you both a little bit.

“Come on” Alex says before leaning down and pecking your lips before he carries on saying, “We need to get ready”

Alex then got up off of you and you sat yourself up as well. The kiss was a surprise to you, but definitely a good one.

As you got out of bed you tried to hide the smile from your face, but you were failing miserably. So, you elected to scurry out to your own room so you could silently scream and get yourself ready to go to Matt’s.

Alex on the other hand, wanted to lock himself in his room and never see the light of day again. Why had he done that? Why did he kiss you? You weren’t his to kiss like that, and he’s definitely made things awkward with the way you quickly walked out of his room.

And his night didn’t get any better when he got to Matt’s.

You were being odd with him. Every time your eyes would meet, you’d look away within the first second and he couldn’t hold your gaze like he usually could.

At Matt’s you found yourself fighting a blush every time Alex did anything.

When he spoke, you’d act like a schoolgirl in love and go all shy on him. When you glanced at each other, you looked away because you didn’t want your feelings to be horrendously obvious.

All you wanted to do was grin like a teenager who’d gotten her first kiss.

You played with the hem of your ripped shorts and pulled at the lace that was coming loose as Alex chatted to you all. That was until the conversation took up the whole of your attention and Matt was making jokes which made you laugh.

Thankfully Matt and Breana didn’t notice anything up between the two of you and to both of your moods weren’t called out. You weren’t purposely being shy, and Alex wasn’t purposefully getting agitated.

Alex just wanted a second alone with you to apologise and hopefully then you would both go back to normal. But the chance didn’t present itself easily.

Breana was either showing you something new on her phone or Matt was chatting to you about old times back home. It was a nice enough evening together with your friends, but Alex could feel tension that didn’t sit right with him.

Alex only got his chance when Breana asked Matt to help her find something inside their house. You’d all been outside all night as it was still quite warm out despite the sun disappearing.

You watched as Matt headed inside the extravagant house after hearing her shout out of the window for him to come upstairs. You smiled as he faked a yawn as he went inside, and you got yourself up.

You looked down towards your empty glass on the table and noticed Alex’s was empty too. Without looking at him you nodded towards the glass before asking, “Do you want another one?”

Alex, however, didn’t reply to your question.

He stood himself up and moved towards you which made you jump because the movement was so fast, and you held his gaze properly for the first time since you got to Matt’s.

Alex stood infant of you and said, “Y/N/N, about before…”

“Al” You try and make him stop.

But he carries on, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

You interrupt him, “Alex you’re fine”

“No, it’s not, I shouldn’t hav-“

“Alex” You stop him once again. You both look at each other and there is a second of silence between you.

“It’s fine” You tell him before you lean up and peck his lips to make it even.

“It’s okay” You reiterate with wide eyes almost pleading for him to understand that his action really was okay. More than okay.

“It’s okay?” Alex asked you with a confused look. You don’t know if it was confusion from the kiss or the fact that you were saying you didn’t care that he’d initially done it

You nodded your head with a smile before you lent up and kissed his lips again. A little bit longer than the last one but not by much.

You and Alex looked at each other for a moment before Matt startled you by shouting from an upstairs window that you couldn’t see. You glanced up to see if you could see him, but he wasn’t in your eyesight.

“Y/N, Bre wants you up here” Matt’s voice shouted down to you.

“Coming” You shout back to him. You look back to Alex and smile before stepping around him and heading inside.

That night when you got back to Alex’s place it was pretty late and you both pretty much went straight to your own beds. You got into your pyjamas that again consisted of an extremely oversized top and a pair of pyjama shorts.

You were once again struggling to fall asleep because of the temperature so you discarded your duvet and used the blanket that you’d claimed as your own instead. Then you found yourself unable to get comfy which was just your luck.

You’d had such a good day, why did your inability to sleep have to go and ruin it?

It wasn’t even like you weren’t even tired, you really were, but sleep just wouldn’t find you. So, you tried to distract yourself by going on your phone for a bit.

Even that didn’t seem to be working for you, so when you heard a quiet knock on your open door you welcomed the distraction. You saw Alex at the doorway and the little light that your room gave out shone on Alex in a lovely way.

He walked his way over to you and you smiled at him as he reached your bed.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked you.

You shook your head and sadly smiled, “How could you tell?”

“I saw that you were tweeting away” Alex said before pulling your blanket up and shuffling himself underneath it to join you.

You smiled at his actions and he murmured “Come on same position as before”

You complied immediately and twisted yourself, so your back was once again towards him.

As he moved your hair so it wouldn’t be in his face, you asked him, “Are you ever going to tell me about this twitter account?”

“Secret accounts for a reason Y/N. No one knows it’s me then” He tells you before he hugs you to him once again today and he nuzzles his nose into the back of your neck.

“Gotta keep my eye on you somehow” Alex says against your top.

“You like keeping your eyes on me Alex?” You play a little.  

“Occasionally” He tells you before he hugs you too him again. This time a little tighter.

“Now come on sleep time” He announces.

You tell him, “I’m just gunna keep you up, you don’t wanna be in here with me”

“Well I’m not moving again now so let’s just try” Alex says softly, and you do as he says.

You lent yourself back into his chest a bit more and you let out a soft sigh. Your bodies slotted comfortably together, and you found that he was extremely cosy to cuddle up into.

“How are you always so warm?” You ask him, enjoying the heat that was radiating off him. You felt at just the right temperature now.  

Alex tells you, “It’s a talent”

“My man’s very talented then” You smile to yourself, closing your eyes

“Well, you said it” He says sleepily.

You focused yourself on Alex’s breathing and tried to match your own with his. This process seemed to get you tried but at the same time you also found that you wanted to change position.

“Al” You say softly not wanting to startle him.

You hear him hum behind you and you carry on to say, “I need to move”

You feel him pick his arm up slightly from around your waist and he lets you swivel around. You knew that within a few minutes of changing into the new position you would be asleep. And you were happy that you would finally be getting some rest.

You turn yourself around so you’re on your side facing him now, much like you were before. You hook your leg around his again so you can be comfortably lay together again and Alex doesn’t seem to mind.

Your faces weren’t that far apart now either, you could feel his cool breath running over your face as you were sharing a pillow now. Even that was beyond you though because you literally had 4 pillows on the bed with you.

You tilted your head down slightly so you wouldn’t be breathing in his face, but you were still only an inch or two apart.

You settle against his body again. His arm around you still but this time he hugged you toward him, so your abdomens were pressed together and you weren’t complaining because he was so warm. You loved it.

You felt yourself slowly start slipping back to sleep and you tiredly decided you wanted to thank him again.

You drew a bit closer to him and tilted your head up so your nose brushed with his for a brief second. You smiled to yourself and said, “Thanks Al”

You kept your eyes closed but you heard him say, “What for?”

“Helping me sleep” You tell him.

Alex hummed happily at that before he nudged your nose back down with his and he said “You’re welcome”

You smiled at that before you leant closer and sleepily kissed him.

It was an innocent enough gesture. One that was just simply a ‘thank you’.

Alex seemed to move his lips with yours and you both kissed again before you rested your head back onto the pillow.

And that night, both you and Alex drifted to sleep with a smile on your lips.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @murderousginger @minigranger @turnertable @bastillewolf @slothgiirl @billskarsgard-is-gorgeous @watashi-no-namae-wo-yonde @fookingsummertime @coolpunkrockgirl @marvel-avengers01 @peakymoon1985 @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo @gretavanbobatea @chocolatecig @iamnotjesha @rachaeljayne15 @edgythought @when-the-darkness-comes @angelicnobody @marveious @stelle-ms @woodhousesemma @boysinskirts @musicmania100 @he4rtbre4khotel @innocte @tomsbeck @whoknowswhatimeant @tony-starks-ego @bettyschwallocksyee @tobarmaidswhodontcount @elektranxtchiios @alexsvacuumcleaner @floyd-echoes @halfofwhatisayismeaningless​ @juicebox-baby​

Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged x

Other parts can be found in Masterlist in bio

[bastillewolf]

The Grand Tranquility Hotel (VI)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: An eccentric hotel owner and an inquisitive writer find solace in each other when they both seemed to be at the edge of rock bottom.

Notes: I have the week off of work! Expect some updates in the next few days!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

Chapter VI - The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip

She’d managed to rid all the tension from her shoulders after a steaming hot shower with a lovely lavender-scented shampoo and was now strewn out across her bed with the book she’d been reading from the library. She didn’t have much planned for the day, simply wanting to refrain from causing any more distress between the others and herself. But when someone came knocking at her door, she didn’t feel like she had a choice but to open it. She was met with the eyes of intrigue himself.

“Will you accompany me for the day?” Alex merely asked. “Where will we be going?” she questioned in turn.

“You wanted to know all about my hotel. So, I’ll show you what I can, writer. Meet me in the service room behind the lobby when you’re dressed.” Looking down at her figure clad only in a soft white robe, her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. She saw the corner of his lips quirk up, before he sauntered back down the hallway towards the elevator. Cheeky bastard.

Having decided on wearing a long skirt with a pristine white blouse to maintain some form of professionality, she grabbed her notebook and pen and made her way towards their one-sided agreed upon meeting point. When Nick was greeted by her ‘good morning’ and with the sight of Alex holding the door to the back room open for her, he gave them a look of complete bewilderment, which Alex simply deemed to ignore. She shrugged and held her notebook a bit closer to her chest before stepping through the doorway.

The room wasn’t very large. In fact, most of the space was occupied by a large desk, filing cabinets and most prominently; television screens. They showed different camera angles to hallways and other communal areas, such as the library and dining hall. It was clearly live, because she could see Matt taking Mardy out for a walk in the gardens and Nick behind the counter, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off of the door they’d gone through. Alex took a seat at the table that held all the electronics and cables and motioned for her to do the same.

Hesitantly lowering herself on the chair next to him, he seemed to be waiting patiently until she’d opened her notebook on a blank page and her pen had revealed its ink when she scribbled down the date on the top right corner. She looked up at him and saw a look in his eyes she could only describe to be the hesitancy of a man who was desperately trying to place his trust in a stranger for the first time in years. She felt it was her turn to take the initiative. “When did the hotel first open its doors?” she decided to start with.

The simple question seemed to bring him back to focus, as he cleared his throat. “About twelve years ago, I’d say it was.” “That’s quit a while. I’m guessing you were rather young to be opening a hotel,” she noted, silently scribbling her pen across the paper in the meantime. She didn’t dare look away from him. He nodded and grumbled a chuckle. “Young, and very inexperienced. Even though I’d had everything planned out from the start, it turned out to be a lot different in practice than what I’d expected it in my head to be.”

“In what way?” He thought about it for a moment. “I guess I had to learn that I couldn’t do everything beforehand and that I had to make more direct decisions on the spot. Although, I was very lucky to have Miles and Matthew at my sides. They were with me every step of the way.”

She smiled softly. “Matt told me about your school years with him and Miles.” “He did? Yeah, we go way back. Bit ridiculous to think I made him promise to come work for me if I ever opened a hotel. Poor lad never stood a chance choosing a different career path. Miles, however, he’d always expected to become my business partner.”

“So, it hadn’t really been Miles’ initial ambition to become mayor?” Alex shook his head, “No. He’d always had a knack for politics and as you well know he’s socially very capable. But if it hadn’t been for his position today, I think this hotel would’ve remained a pipe dream.”

She hummed, letting her eyes wander over the wide array of television screens. “This is your office?” she wondered. “Of sorts,” he replied, “Though Nick often finishes his paperwork in here. It’s where everything is filed.”

“Doesn’t the noise ever bother you?” The slight static hum appeared to be constant and she felt like it derived the room of its peace. “It would most certainly drive me insane.”

“Ah, the exotic sound of data storage. Nothing like it, first thing in the morning,” he quipped with satire. “No, I think I’ve gotten used to it over the years. I don’t really hear it anymore.”

“Have you always had cameras around the hotel?”

“No. We didn’t think it was necessary for a long time, but certain events proved otherwise.”

“Events you’d rather not talk about right now.”

“You’re really getting the hang of this, writer.”

 He took her to see the library next, and their walk was silent until they were once again behind closed doors. “I didn’t mean to be secretive, but I did borrow a book from here,” she admitted, shuffling to one of the plush seats near the fireplace. “I know,” he replied, making her look at him in surprise. “I’ve read every single one of these books. They’re all classics, because I’d never let a bad piece of literature enter this room without my permission. You just happened to take one of my favourites, which I can only commend you for.”

She knew the plot of the book from memory and couldn’t help but let a mischievous smirk spread across her face. “You like cheesy romance novels?” she teased. “Laugh at me all you want, writer,” he replied, “But it was you who specifically chose that book to borrow out of all of the ones in here, which means I’m not the only one guilty of fancying a good love story.” “Alright,” she admitted, “What other genres do you prefer when you’re not swooning over Mister Darcy?”

He snickered at her banter. “I take interest in science fiction.” “Intriguing. I suppose great minds do have a wild imagination.” “Was that a compliment I heard?” he inquired. “Don’t get cheeky now, mister Turner. We’re both still testing boundaries here.”

He told her all about the becoming of his grand book collection; of how he’d initiated his fondness of reading through his mother’s literature shelves until he’d gone through them all and started sticking his nose in bookshops and libraries. “When the hotel gained more popularity, some regular guests seemed to pick up on my hobby and I’ve only ever received books as thankful parting gifts from that point on. I’m rather relieved, because I was getting sick of flowers and champagne bottles from people with horrid taste.”

“You really do sound like a ritzy hotel owner now.” “I’d rather be ritzy than be in the rubble.” She raised her brows at him with a silent inquiry at his remark. “Don’t say it,” he muttered.

It was when they winded down a staircase she hadn’t seen before did she unravel her notebook again. During the beginning of their conversation she’d only written down the facts and dates, until she’d decided her memory would suffice for the rest of their conversation. Up until he’d taken her to the lower level of the hotel, which managed to fascinate her to a great extent. “What is this place?”

She knew what it was on first glance but wanted him to elaborate on it. “It used to be a bathhouse,” he told her, “but the previous owners were never able to maintain it. It’s a long-term project of mine to restore it.”

It looked very worn indeed, but the vines that protruded the walls and the moss overgrowing the smooth pillars reminded her distinctly of the Romantic art in the paintings she’d seen across the halls of the hotel. There was a large pool in the middle, and though the green substance that most likely used to be clear water obtained a lot of algae’s, it was alleviated by the gorgeous flowers floating atop their lily pads.

The grimy pastel-coloured tiles in blues and pinks were illuminated by the soft light appearing through the ceiling window in the back of the room, which had a few cracks here and there. She walked around one of the separating walls and found an array of bathtubs lined up to the side, decorated with rusty showerheads and crooked room dividers.

“It’s gorgeous. I’m glad you haven’t decided to tear it all down,” she breathed in awe. He hummed, “I have thought about it. But I’m legally not allowed to since it’s been deemed a piece of ‘cultural heritage’ by the mayor himself.” She snickered, “So, Miles didn’t want it to be torn down.” “Let’s just say it was a mutual understanding.”

She gave him a look and took a step around the next corner, but then no longer felt the ground beneath her foot. She could start to feel gravity pull her down until a hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her back, causing her ankle to scrape against what she now recognized to be a large crater she was meant to have fallen in. Alex pulled her flush against his chest and she let out a deep breath of relief, her heart a pounding mess against her ribcage. “I understand your curiosity is getting the better of you now that I’m answering most of your questions, but it wouldn’t hurt you to be a bit more careful.” His breath tickled her ear and his husky voice was like a musical echo throughout the room. “Thank you, mister Turner. I think I’ll be alright now.”

He slowly let her arm slide out of his hand. “Were you hurt?” “Just scraped my ankle. I’ll be fine.” He shook his head. “Let’s get it sorted. Can’t have you limping around my hotel. It would ruin my reputation.” “To who? All of the other guests?” “I will push you back into that pit if I have to, writer.”

She was still able to walk well enough, but they decided against taking the stairs this time and took the service elevator instead, which lead them straight to the kitchens. He’d rummaged through a few cupboards before finding the first aid kit. She sat upon the counter and lifted her skirt a tad to inspect the damage.

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut it off, miss.” She smacked his arm and he let out a bark of laughter. It was deep and vibrant, and it gave her more joy to hear it for the first time than she’d expected.

Yet, as he cleaned the wound and wrapped her ankle with a soft bandage, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of grief towards the evident wall he hid his emotions behind. It added to the long train of thoughts she was already dealing with right now, and she couldn’t say she was particularly pleased with it.

A silence washed over them as he finished his work and it gave her the opportunity to really look at him. Not just his appearance, but taking in everything he was.

“What will you do if you can’t save this hotel?”

He took long enough to form an answer that she’d almost thought he’d gotten upset with her again. Instead, he replied in a quiet voice that deeply saddened her to the core.

“I really don’t know.”

[bastillewolf]

The Grand Tranquility Hotel (IV)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: An eccentric hotel owner and an inquisitive writer find solace in each other when they both seemed to be at the edge of rock bottom.

Notes: Continuous angst and drama, but I promise next chapter Alex will show some of his better side. Love you lots for the wonderful feedback!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

Chapter IV - Four Out Of Five

“Today is not just a day of celebration. It’s a day of gratitude. It’s a day where we realize our accomplishments were not only made by ourselves, but through the support of the people around us. When I built this hotel, I vowed to each of my guests that they would always have a room here, that they could place their trust in me. And in turn, I placed my trust in them. Without you, my guests, my friends, my family, I wouldn’t have been able to host this gathering. Because of you, this hotel got an exceptional rating that made not only our staff proud, but the entire country.”

There was a round of applause echoing through the large room, while a few local reporters took the moment to snap a few pictures. It quieted down again when Alex cleared his throat and raised his hand.

“I especially wanted to thank someone in particular. She is unfortunately no longer with us, but we will always remember her as one of our most esteemed guests who visited this hotel since it first opened. She’d written me a personal letter saying she had this wonderful young man who was very willing to come and work for me, who I now see as one of my most trusted employees. I am so grateful to have known her and am honoured to have her daughter remembering her amongst us tonight.”

He raised his glass, along with everyone else in the room, and held a toast to her mother’s name. All she could do was play along with a frown. Alex Turner was not the man she’d expected him to be. It all felt very forced.

“This hotel… It might hibernate from time to time, sink back into the swamp. I think the cyclical nature of the universe in which it exists demands that acquiesce to some of its rules. But we’re always waiting there, just around the corner, ready to make our way back through the sludge and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Have a nice night, cheers.”

The last part of his speech seemed oddly specific and she could tell it was a pointed remark. She just wasn’t sure who it was directed towards. Turner didn’t wait for the second round of applause to get off the stage, instead opting to immediately grab a flute of champagne from a tray one of the waiters was holding. “He can be so dramatic sometimes,” someone to her right chuckled.

Glancing over, her eyes found the face of a man she’d probably describe to have the most British face ever. Not unattractive in any way, his hair cut short and his hazel eyes locking hers in a warm and kind-hearted sort of embrace that made her feel immediately at ease. “You’re Miles Kane,” she blurted out. He smiled, “Correct. And you must be the ‘honoured’ guest I’ve been hearing so much about.”

“Only good things, I hope,” she said with a strained chuckle. “Only good things,” he winked. The corners of her mouth quirked up. She now understood why people chose him to be mayor, even if it was only because of his charisma. “I presume you already knew about the hotel review as well?” she continued curiously. He nodded, “They asked me to give a bit of a statement for the papers. Alex told me beforehand, though.” She hummed in interest, while her thoughts wandered back to that morning where she’d only then found out about the cause of the night’s celebration.

She’d casually strolled into the dining hall where most tables had either been removed or pushed against the walls of the room. At the back, the big stage had been cleared out and now only held a microphone and a few chairs. “You look happy today,” she commented, taking a seat at their usual spot. Matt looked up at her, silently sipping his coffee as he slid a newspaper towards her.

‘The Grand Tranquility Hotel was well reviewed; rated an exemplary four stars out of five. Mayor Kane states his joy, proclaiming “it’s unheard of.”’

She smiled, “That’s fantastic! Congratulations, Matthew.” Matt waved his hand bashfully at her. “So, that’s what the whole ‘gathering’ is about. Did you already know about all of this?” “I did,” he answered, “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, miss. Mister Turner was pretty set on keeping things private until everything was set to go.” “That’s quite alright,” she replied. However, deep down she knew the predominant reason why no one had told her, thinking back to the argument she’d had with the hotel owner just the night before. They didn’t trust her, no matter how kind they were being.

“Speaking of, how are the preparations getting along?” she wondered. Matt sighed and set his fork which was still piercing a heaping amount of eggs back down on his plate. “In all honesty, miss, there’s still so much that has to be done. Nick is out looking for more temporary personnel after some cancelled at the last minute, Jamie’s preparing everything in the kitchen and you already know what kind of chaos it’s like when he’s stressed and I’m just making a list of the things I still need to figure out before the gathering. We’re not used to doing this sort of thing with a limited amount of staff, so we’re all a bit disconcerted.”

She glanced down at the notepad he had been scribbling on. “Then allow me to help. I might not be an expert party planner, but half of the things you’ve mentioned on there I can manage.” Matt shook his head, but before he could protest, she shot him a strict look. “Look, I’m offering you my services here, like you offered yours. I won’t tell mister Turner a thing and if he does find out for some reason, I’ll just tell him I was helping a friend out.” He smiled at that. “Alright then,” he finally agreed, “But you’ll have to promise me Alex doesn’t notice anything.”

And with that, she spent the afternoon moving furniture, decorating, dusting, vacuuming, tidying and all the works. She’d even aided Jamie after he’d had a breakdown over accidentally burning the cake that was sitting in the smoking oven. Using one of her mother’s trusted recipes, she’d baked him a new one that had tiers, icing and everything while he continued working on the appetizers. It resulted in him spinning her around and giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

She glanced over where her creation now stood proud and tall on a pedestal. Well, proud and tall with heaping chunks missing from it. “Jamie really outdid himself this time,” Miles commented, taking a bite of the sponge on his plate, “This cake is the best I’ve ever had.” She didn’t argue with him, because she felt Jamie deserved more credit for his work. Even if it wasn’t exactly his.

Her eyes roamed over the assorted crowd. They were what she’d expected them to be; stereotypically ritzy and exuding money. She wondered if that’s why Matt, Nick and Jamie were so adamant on letting her know she was too kind to them, because all other folks they had to deal with were like these. They weren’t the type of people to have a normal chat. Oh no, these were the personas who whispered and were opinionated about everything. When you’re so filthy rich you only hang out with the wealthy who are as impeccable as you, all forms of judgement you’ve got left is directed nit-picking and slanderous gossip.

She heard people comment on her dress, hair, makeup, she could name it all. But none who reported it directly to her. It was just loud enough so she would think it was a whisper and she wouldn’t be sure who it was from.

It was while wandering around when she finally heard comments that weren’t being made about her, but about something that most definitely interested her.

She reached for a glass from a waiter and smiled to him in thanks as she casually pretended to look for someone in the crowd while her ears picked up the conversation happening behind her.

“You know what I think?” A woman muttered, “I think this whole night is just a charity cause. He’s trying to petty us into giving him funds so he can continue his bland excuse of a hotel.” Another man  joined in, “I don’t think that’s true. Did you hear his speech? He’s trying to cover up the fact he’s going bankrupt. His little act of intimidation was rather mournful, though.”

“He’s trying to cover up a lot of things, from what I’ve heard,” the same woman stated as a matter-of-factly. She let a short, yet effective pause draw out to spark their interest, before she continued. “A little birdie told me that the poor fellow got his heart broken. Got addicted to gambling because of it, lost all his funding and then some in one night.” They gasped dramatically, and she’d heard enough.

Like the person who had been observing her from across the room, had seen enough.

She came across Matt as she moved towards the exit, who gave her a questioning look, to which she simply responded that she was tired from everything the day had brought her. “I understand, ma’am,” he said, before he gave a small smile, “I can’t explain how grateful I am-“ “Don’t worry,” she interrupted him, “Like I said, I was just helping out a friend.” She gave his arm a kind squeeze.

He called after her, “Oh, if you see Alex, tell him I’m looking for him! I’ve been finding too many empty glasses where I’ve seen him.”

As she closed the door of the hall behind her, a wave of silence washed over her like a cold breeze. She had a headache and she was sure it wasn’t because of the champagne. A walk would do her some good.

It was as if her feet had known what she was thinking, because she found herself in front of the picture with her mother in it. She actually found some of the faces to be familiar now, probably through having passed them during the party. Her eyes moved back to inspect the man between Matt and Jamie. It was a gut feeling that told her she should find out more about this particular person.

She heard the shuffling of feet beside her, but she’d half-expected the noise so she didn’t even flinch. “Got enough material for your book?” He slurred.

She blinked at Alex, the little respect she’d held for him slowly but surely dripping away like water from a tap that’s been leaking. “How could I have enough material when you won’t even tell me anything about your bloody hotel?” she shot back.

He scoffed, leaning against the wall. He clearly wasn’t sober enough to keep his balance. “You don’t need me to find out about all the details now, do you? You’ve clearly been making your own assumptions through the stories from my loyal guests.”

She raised her brows in surprise as she took a daring step towards him. “Have you been spying on me?”

“Being able to observe people is a real writer’s trait, is it not? Always keen on finding the truth, even when it’s been covered by decades of dust and grime. It’s what makes for a good book.” He pushed himself forward until he was directly in front of her. He smelled like cigarettes and expensive whiskey. “The only thing you’ve done so far is brush the surface of that grave. You’re just another cheap journalist looking for a good story to get your job back.”

His words stung and before she knew it, so did her hand.

She really hadn’t meant to slap him. She wasn’t one to slap people. Yet, it had been her body’s first instinct. It was as if a gravitational force had pulled her palm to his cheek in a very violent way. She could’ve just held his face for all she knew, if it hadn’t been for the anger rushing through her in that particular moment, inducing her decision-making to be more erratic.

He almost didn’t seem fazed at all. He just looked at her. And in the flicker of a moment, she thought she’d seen an ounce of remorse in his eyes. It was right before they turned stone cold again.

“Leave,” he hissed. She was at a loss for words. When he got no response, he audibly made his request clearer. “Leave. You’ll pack your things. And you’ll be leaving, tonight.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” a voice proclaimed from behind him. She turned to look at Matthew, who was joined by Jamie and a distressed-looking Nick. Miles stepped out from the hall as well, closing the doors behind him to give them some form of privacy.

“Our guest has decided to shorten her stay with us,” Alex stated, his eyes not leaving hers, “If you could take her to the train station in a bit, Matthew.”

“The hour is late, Alex. There won’t be a train till morning,” Matt simply replied. “Then you can drive her all the way back home, if you must,” Alex snarled, while running a hand through his dark hair.

“I’m sorry, Alex. But she’s staying.”

Matt didn’t hold his usual backtalk. It seemed he was more tired and disappointed than angry. When Alex realized none of his friends were going to take his side, - not even Miles made a comment - he stormed back into the dining hall and slammed the door. She could distantly hear him yelling, telling everyone the party’s over. When he was done and people started shuffling out, he disappeared around a corner.

She noticed Matt’s jaw clench as Miles let out a deep sigh. “I think it’s best if I stay around for a while,” he simply said. As Nick led him to the front desk to hand him a key, Matt placed an arm around her shoulder while his eyes remained directed towards the same hallway Alex had drunkenly stumbled off through. “Come on, miss. Let’s get you back to your room. It’s been a long night.”

[slothgiirl]

shadowplay part 11

"Well I'm pooped," Breana announces as Matt pulls in to Monterey bay.

 It had barely been what felt like ten minutes since you'd gotten back inside after Breana's mini photoshoot at a bridge, which had been pretty enough, but you felt like a selfie had been enough. Six hours of doing nothing but sitting had not been fun. 

Zack had turned out to be easy to talk to, excitedly pointing put landmarks and cities as you passed, and trying to get Matt, after they had switched driving positions, and failing to get him to pull over at every point of interests. "But its a danish town," he'd cried, smacking the headrest much too Miles' amusement. "We've got to go there."

"You've been to Denmark," Matt had replied undeterred, even as Breana mentioned it would be cute too stop there. "I want to get there before dark," Matt had countered, unmoved, the car rolling on by. 

There was lots of trees and ocean to see. Lots of California to take in that wasn't just the hollywood sign, as much fun as that had been. 

You were much more interested in exploring with the time you had then documenting it in flawless social media bound pictures, though that might have been because you weren't all that photogenic. You had no clue which was your more flattering side. 

When Matt had tired of taking pictures of Breana, she'd roped you in which you had to take for a good sign. After all, you were going to spend a week with these people and you couldn't spend that entire time hiding in whatever room you got. 

"We should go to the aquarium," Zack immediately proposes as you all get out of the car, before explaining to you, "it's supposed to be world famous."

You shrug, "I'm never not okay with an aquarium. . ."

"An aquarium is an aquarium," Miles quips back, shaking his head, and stretching out right next to the car. "How special can it be?"

"Guess we just have to go check it out," Zack smiles hopefully. 

"No. I've already made an itinerary," Breana says, shutting down all his ideas, "We're going to go eat at Cannery Row and get some pictures before finishing the drive.  

"And who gave you that right," Miles says teases archly, his brow rising to his hairline. 

She rolls her eyes, "I made a groupchat and you assholes never said anything. Not my fault." She carefully fixes the audrey hepburn-esque scarf around her hair in the car's window, attaining that effort-effortless windswept look. 

"Why don't we," Alex offers casually, as he lights up a cigarette, having , "just split up? Meet back here in an hour or two?" 

It's a fantastic idea as far as you're concerned. And alright, you won't lie, while your claim to Alex is as solid as your fake relationship is real, you've gotten used to having him to yourself. To having him over at your flat or going out for a drink or food, or walking around the park in the rain, all of his attention on you. That and you can't help but feel like the odd one out here. 

All your past boyfriends have been friends of friends or close friends where it wasn't this awkward to suddenly be hanging out with their friends. 

Maybe that was just adulthood. 

Your circle of friends was much smaller now than it had been in trade school or even back in college when you could always rely on having known someone, even if you weren't close, since you'd started attending school. 

Zack throws an arm around Miles, grinning widely, "the aquarium was name checked in Finding Nemo." 

Miles shakes his head, chuckling, as he takes Alex's cigarette as his own, "you've got to find yourself a girl mate! You're starting to take your friends out on dates."

"Easier said than done," Zack comments, his features taking on a somber cast. 

"Two hours," Breana asks even as she stares everyone down, forcing them to comply, a woman with a plan. 

"Sure," Zack answers, already pulling up an uber on his phone. Reflexively, you look over at Alex, assuming you're going where ever he goes. It would be strange if you didn't go with him, your supposed boyfriend, wouldn't it? 

Only to meet his gaze, already on you, a tint of red on his cheeks as he smiles softly. 

You smile back. 

"Two hours Kane," Breana shouts as she and Matt walk off. 

"Al's way more likely to forget," Miles calls back.

Instead of responding Alex, cups you cheek, kissing your lips softly. You don't mind at all, readily kissing him back. There's only a hint of smoke on his tongue. 

"Any place in particular," you ask him, the first to pull away, all to aware of his touch as he holds your hand. 

"I've got a place in mind," he admits, "unless you've-."

"I didn't google a thing."

"Ya don't mind walking love?"

"All the better to take in the sight," you point out, glancing around the car park. The beach was right there. Only a couple hundred meters away. Painted houses on stilts coloring the view. "So where are we going?"

"A park," Alex tells you, as you find the walkway, only semi covered in sand and oh well, there go your loafers. Though you have had these forever so maybe this'll be a good thing. Get a pair of those ridiculously expensive and ridiculously cute miu miu ballet flats. "Well, sort of a park. It's also a beach."

"A really nice beach," you question, looking over at all the beach that currently surrounds you meaningfully. It would be nice regardless you were sure of it. Spending time with Alex was always a win in your book. Even if lately it left you way more flustered than you would have liked. 

"I 'fink all beaches in California are extremely nice," Alex says even as a pout forms on his lips, a tell-tale sign that he was sinking deep into his thoughts. "It's the sun. . .hard to be disappointed if the day's nice. . .. ya know?"

You laugh easily, "I'll give you that. But can we walk by the water. I didn't fly all this way to not get my feet wet."

"We can do that."

So loafers in hand you trudge through the sand, that makes its way into all creases of your jeans, glad to be stretching out your legs. Alex pops his sunglasses on, sunglasses you hadn't even thought to pack. 

You were pretty sure you didn't even have a pair of sunnies, in the perpetual habit of getting a cheap pair for a hol, or during the summer, sure you were going to use them, and inevitably losing them in a hotel or taxi. 

"So Matt and Breana?" You have to ask. 

You've been to their house but you still can't picture them together. Matt seems like every other lad you've ever met at a pub. Breana was. . .californian in the way you'd imagined people here to be like which wasn't a bad thing, now that she was beginning to talk to you. Then again, maybe being careful just came with being famous. 

"Have been together for a long time now," Alex tells you, careful to keep his boots dry as you let the cold water soak your feet. The bottoms of your jeans now wet. 

"Well," you utter, hoping to get a laugh out of Alex, "Some men do get pegged."

Alex snorts. "she certainly keeps Matthew in line."

"Don't you ever get lonely," you wonder, "if all your friends live out here? I mean, not that I have loads and loads of friends, or go out all that much, but just knowing I could text them and see them is nice."

"I've got you don't I," he points out, as the waves rush out, leaving behind uncovered shells and rocks. 

The water is warmer than any English beach, or maybe you've got rose coloured glasses on, being a tourist and all. 

You blush, "you know what I mean! I'm no Miles." 

As much as you loved Sam, who'd kept texting you as if you could reply immediately and didn't have to wait to steal wifi from a Starbucks or some other free wifi establishment, you'd go crazy if she was your only friend. You needed friends like James, that while as dorky as you, was much more out going, and willing to wake up with you at dawn for a sample sale.

 And you were sure Sam needed friends who also loved to go out as much as she did. 

"And you have no idea how glad I am," he grins, "dunno if there's enough room for two Miles' in the world."

"Ah so he's the Mick Jagger to your Paul McCartney."

Alex lets go of your hand, placing it over his heart dramatically, "are you calling me boring love!"

"Don't be so sensitive," you cry out, kicking water at him ruthlessly, "it's a compliment. I love when you come over so we can both sit in silence and not talk while reading. Just the best."

"I can't tell if your being sarcastic," he says with a shake of his head. It had been the same ruthless joking as he'd gotten ready this morning. You'd watched him use up so much gel and pomade and couldn't stop laughing. Alex had taken much longer to get ready. 

Your heart aches as you lean over, kissing him for once because sooner or later you'd have to initiate wouldn't you? To sell the act. It would look strange if Alex was the only one who went about kissing you. At least you told yourself, a rush of heat burning your cheeks as your lips meet his. "I really do enjoy it," you admit, pulling away much too quickly for your satisfaction. 

You'd be lying if you said you didn't want to kiss him properly, the very scent of him imprinted in your mind, probably from all the times he'd stayed over at yours. Coffee, the sharp smell of high quality leather, and smooth musk. "I think you're the only person I don't mind going to the pub with."

"Oh don't mind," Alex notes, not missing a beat or a the subtext, "how generous."

"I know. I know," you laugh, wondering when he'll hold your hand again. There's no need, since his friends are in some other part of the city. No need to pretend. But then again, there was no need to kiss him either. "I'm the only British person to hate beer." 

You know you've arrive when Alex suddenly stops, looking around pensively. It looks like the rest of the beach you've just walked through. Only with a car park and more green. Houses ringing the area. Some people were lucky enough to have the beach steps from their homes. 

"It's 'spposed to be a park," Alex finally explains, "cause you love parks. Even when it rains."

"Maybe Californians," you joke, slipping your hand through his arm, patting his shoulder gently, "are confused about what a park is. And you sort of have to go when it rains. It's practical. I'm not waiting for the four days of the year when it doesn't rain in London." 

It was so thoughtful of Alex to spend your meager amount of time in Monterey somewhere he'd thought you'd like. It was that thoughtfully romantic streak that ran through all of his actions, regardless of if you were actually dating. 

The same streak responsible for Alex remembering which curry you got at every indian place. That had him remembering where you stored the spare blankets in the morning when he was folding them up as you hurried to make it to work. 

He was a great friend. 

You couldn't imagine how he was with an actual girlfriend. 

" 's nice," he admits, taking out a cigarette, "walking through a park in the rain. Makes me appreciate the rain. . .Long as it isn't full on storming."

"There's a sweet spot," you concur. "I don't think even I could manage a full on storm. I'm not Jane Eyre."

You take a seat on some large rocks, taking in the scenery. Watching people go by on bikes, running with their phone in hand, or simple strolling about. It really is a lovely beach. 

The whole place is lovely. you're glad you walked. 

A dutiful tourist, you take out your phone to take pictures. To remember the place and to appease Sam and James who you're sure will interrogate you as soon as you get back home. You can't help but laugh as you note how relaxed everyone's style here is, lots of loose and cropped clothes, compared to Alex's getup. 

Shamelessly, you take a picture. 

"Always taking the piss outta me," he shakes his head, gaze never straying far from yours. 

"You make it so easy." 

Alex surprises you entirely by asking an older man walking his large dog, tail waggling, to take a picture of the two of you. Saying girlfriend needlessly, butterflies in your stomach at his words. 

It's dumb. It makes you feel dumb, and you never want this to end. This slice in time, where it's you and Alex and you can loose yourself in the idea of him actually being your boyfriend as ridiculous as that is. 

None of the pictures are flattering. The light harsh in the noon sun. Alex is looking over at you in all the pictures instead of the camera and you are grasping at straws for that to mean something.

 Fuck. You're not going to make it through the week. Sam was right and you hate her for it. 

You don't think that you can remain friends if you don't air out your feelings for him. 

But then again, maybe that would ruin everything. You can only hope that the feelings will go away soon. 

Highly doubtful. 

"Want to take an uber and get food," Alex asks because you only have an hour left. You could spend a whole week here. With a towel, bathing suit, and a pile of books. Easily. 

"I've been in the states for twenty four hours and haven't had Mcdonalds yet," you tell him. 

"Mcdonalds is for when its 3 am and your pissed love."

"Sushi." You raise a brow. 

"I can do sushi."

You laugh, "what an enormous sacrifice Alexander."

[slothgiirl]

shadowplay part 10

Breanna smiles at you like you're a friend of her parents she got home to find sitting in her house. She's pretty in a girlish way. Though her personality sours the beauty fast. It's going to be a long week if this goes on. 

Not that Matt or Alex notice. Having not shut up even if their conversation is quiet. Matt skewing towards the more serious side of subdued than Alex's melancholia. Though it's probably more because you and Breanna are here then anything.

Dumbass boys. 

You sit in her Martha Stewart kitchen. Alex's hand on your thigh as he talks. After the fourth attempt at conversation with the woman you'd given up, shamelessly studying Alex's profile. There was nothing like seeing him open up, unguarded. It always had your chest filling with warmth. 

You were waiting on Miles and Zack to arrive. Zack having the car you'd be driving up North. So far you'd gleaned that you'd be taking a scenic route. Not that you'd be driving, having never learned how. 

Breakfast was a poor plating of a slice toast, half an avocado, some mysterious root vegetable that was perhaps a health alternative to potatoes, one egg, and a single strip of bacon. A clear compromise between Breanna and Matt's dietary choices. 

You wish you'd indulged more at the french restaurant last night. Stuffed some bread in your purse. 

"-so what do you do," Matt asks. 

You blush as you realize they're all looking at you. You having gotten lost in thought. No clue how the conversation had even reached you. Your eyes glancing at Alex, which is the wrong choice, because you end up having to cover your hand as you burst into giggles. Made acceptable by Alex also laughing. 

Matt glances back and forth between the two of you, shoulders squared like a protective older brother. You'd expected nothing less. Sam's opinion of Alex heavily depended on how heart eyed you were as you talked about him. 

"I'm a tailor," you offer. Before waving your fingers in front of your face like a cartoon witch and adding, "or as the french would say, petit mains."

"We met at a coffee shop," Alex adds, leaning dangerously close to the truth.

You roll your eyes, trying to keep the story straight, "My work doesn't have eyes and ears here." Then tell Matt, "we met while I was fitting him."

"Can you get fired for that," Matt asks bluntly. 

"It's highly discouraged," you admitt, "but that didn't stop Mr. Carmichael from carrying on with the embroider. His wife came in one day and threw a brick through the shop window."

"No way," Breana says, gaping as she leans forward, arms on the table. 

"She was fired but I have a feeling it was the whole window stunt that did it." It had been a wild day. "Work was let out early," you add conspiratorially  "for obvious reasons."

The conversation soon moves on. The last two arrive, filling the house with noise. Noise curtesy of Miles. Miles who runs up to Alex, wrapping his arms around him and planting a kiss on his temple. "Alex you fucking wanker!"

Alex results in kind, wrapping his own arms around Miles and grinning. Matt rolls his eyes, taking a swing of his beer. It's only eleven in the morning. Zack nods at you as he takes a seat next to you, "fall in love with any more rockstars while having them fitted?"

"Well Thom Yorke was in the other day but I dunno if I could date an alien," you joke.

"I would've gone for it," Zack laughs, helping himself to some of the toast Breana laid out in the middle of the table. "Man's a legend."

You snort. "I'll be sure to let 'im know."

"-how's," Alex starts to ask Miles, who's still firmly sitting in his lap and stealing his coffee, "Sydney was it?"

Miles shakes his head, tsking. "It's all about Isabella now," he corrects, twirling his hands about, mimicking flamenco dancers. A true born showman. 

"Can't exactly keep up with the girl of the week." Alex notes lightly with a sly grin on his lips, his eyes meeting yours and god you were so fucked. Should've shown him how much last night. But you'd both curled up in the guest room, tucked into each other, as soon as you'd gotten back. 

"Oi," Miles protests, "I'm young. They're young. We can't all be settled in this disgusting domestic bliss." He waves the mug around the kitchen, clearly taking a jab at Matt and Breana. "Dunno how blissful it can be what with this awful health bread," he mutters pointedly. 

"Fuck you Kane," Breana says, glaring cooly at him, "it's gluten free bread."

"Disgusting," Miles enunciates every syllable.

She flips him off. 

Miles gets off Alex, sliding into the last empty chair, across from you. His eyes yellow like a particularly preening hawk zero in on you. He's clad in skin tight creme jeans paired with gucci loafers from the eighties, leather cracked at the toe, and an outrageously bold tiger print shirt. 

He raises a well groomed brow. 

You smile in response. 

Miles pivots, "yah going to Arielle's wedding Al?"

You know Alex is a hard no. But in that moment, Alex shrugs uncomfortably. Reading him perfectly, Miles replies, "ya have to go! You can't not go. She invited you. You've gotta show your face!"

"I hate to say it," Matt observes, "but he's right."

"That's literally what I've been saying," you add, tired of just sitting there. It was going to be a long week if you didn't jump off the deep end and start trying to make friends. 

"Yes," Miles grins, pointing at you, "this one is fookin' right Al! You gotta have the stiff upper lip." He puffs his chest out, back straight, "your briddish after all."

Alex only rolls his eyes. Unwilling to be baited into doing anything he doesn't want to do. 

"Let's get going yeah," Matt wonders out loud, trying to coral everyone. And he somehow does, beer in hand, get everyone into Zack's large black SUV. You've never seen anything more american than that. Even with everyone's things, three guitars between the six of you, there was plenty of room inside. 

Zack takes the wheel and Miles doesn't miss the opportunity to control the music in the passenger seat, spending most of the first two hours of the drive, the ocean right there outside your window, head turned back and talking back and forth with Alex and Matt. He perches like an overly large bird on the seat, pushing the top of his belt aside. Sunglasses doing nothing to dim the continuous energy that pours out of him as he waves his hands about and mimics accents to make a point, jabbing the air with his cigarette. 

Matt sits next to Alex, barely spearing you a glance, leaving you next to Breana who you hope will warm up to you at some point in the next 11 hours. Hopefully. 

Your phone's down to 67 percent. 

There's no way you'll make it. 

You look over at her looking down at her phone, all california cool, "your nails are so cute! what do you do to keep them so nice though? Mine always chip so I've given up." Which wasn't a lie. A nice pale pink with hot pink tiger stripes overlaid. Your nails lasted an hour if you were lucky before chipping. 

"Oh, thank you," Breana says, looking up, "I model and have a business with my sisters so I guess it helps that I'm not working with my hands a lot."

"True," you answer, looking down at yours. There was definitely some scars, Thicker skin around your nailbed where the thimble had built up a callous. "I use thimbles. I'm the literal one person market audience for those tourist thimble, and my fingers still get nicked by a needle now and then."

"Those little cheap cup things," Breana asks for clarification because thimbles are only useful for sewing. A complete grandmother pass time. 

"Yeah," you replied  relaxing in your seat as the conversation gets going. Breana making it obvious she isn't just going to brush you off. Maybe she was close with Arielle? You'll have to ask Alex. 

"I used to get those because they were so cheap," Breana exclaims, "when I'd travel. Perfect souvenir  Small and cheap. No clue where they are now."

You laugh, settling in for the next few hours. 

[slothgiirl]

forever isn’t for everyone part 10

We all head straight to the hotel, just in time for the first interviews of the day; throwing Jamie and Miles to the wolves. It's a nice place, that we won't enjoy. Having lost a day means that after using the hotel for interviews, we'll have to run to the venue. Only Lucy and the two band members get off at the hotel. 

The rest of us, unlucky as we are, have to get and attempt a soundcheck down half our crew. It's hell. 

Made worse at the thought of Alex holed up in the tour bus as we rush around. Unbothered by work as he's just Miles' plus one. Having stayed up all night with Miles, playing guitar and making my head want to explode as I'd laid in my bunk, thinking about how deft his hands on the strings were. Working myself up and worst of all-- missing him. 

Lucy had been right. I text her as much only to hear a snort above me. Unhelpful in everything except gossip. 

By the time Miles and Jamie get back, having been grilled to hell and back, Jamie looking like the worlds most uncomfortable toddler who's cheeks have been pinch way too many times by strangers, most of the set up has been done. The California sun beating down on us as we enjoy munching on the food set up for us. 

It's one of those days when I could care less if it's any good. That fucking hungry. 

Miles keeps glancing down at his phone, a bundle of nervous energy instead of the usual chaotic energy. He reminded me so of the boys in school who would talk back to the teacher and cause riots of laughter among students. He gets up, grabbing another beer and pacing around the room before collapsing into a chair once more. 

It's making me nervous. 

"You alright Miles," I venture, when he sits down by me, frowning down at his phone. 

"Yeah. Yeah," he says dismissively, not bothering to look up from his phone. "Just peachy doll."

I roll my eyes, but persevere. Part of my job is too make sure the talent's holding up. And we might not be friends outside of work, but you can't live on the road for weeks with people and just not care about them. "You're calling me doll. Now I'm really worried."

He laughs humorlessly. "It's all right Ellie. Really."

"Is it Alex?"

Miles' eyes pierce my gaze, the goblin child mirth absent in lieu of surprise. "No. No. sort of." He glances down at the ground, at the carpet the color of cat vomit, whose original color had been lost to time. "He's just got a bit of a headache. That's all."

"Right," I reply, unconvinced by his slippery gaze and the airy tone. 

" 'm sorry about whatever happened between you two," he utters bluntly. "Say the word and I'll send him away.”

"You don't really mean that," I note, fiddling with my thumbs, unable to hold his gaze now as color rises to my cheeks, "or else you'd have offered at the start of the tour. Not two weeks before it ends in south america."

"Technically," Miles counters, pointing his finger right at me, "its just a break before the festivals.  I can make do with out 'im." 

"I highly doubt that," I remark. Everything's in order in the venue. I'll give myself this one night to skip the concert. While people watching could be fun, and there was nothing like the energy of a live band filling the venue with hundreds of screaming fans, I was a bit over it tonight. Having spent the majority of yesterday in the same confined area with Alex, and being careful not to make it too obvious I was avoiding him, had drained me. 

I walk out the door and into the warm summer night. It was a nice change from Utah. The city bathed in lights as the sun set. Just like that an entire summer gone by. Tomorrow was a second show. Then Pomona. Then San Diego  Soon we'd be in South America and then onto Europe. Miles had been wrong, there was only a week before Europe. 

I let out a breathe as I wish for the first time in my life for a cigarette. All this traveling with a rock band and I'd finally picked up some bad habits. I walk down sunset strip and right into a liquor, wishing I had thought to nick some of the cigarette boxes that filled an entire bowl backstage. Thank god for riders. And next year I'd be doing it all over again with another band. The thought filled me with dread. I'd gotten used to Nick and Jamie. To Ben and Miles who often ended up ontop of tables dancing and dunk and pulling Alex up along with him. 

As soon as I take a drag, I can feel the knot inside my chest begin to ease up. More and more neon signs light up. It's not Vegas, with its kitchy over the top theatrics, but Los Angeles feels like every noir detective movie I'd seen. It's so much like the grimy and cheesy eighties action movies set in these very streets. If not for the actual stale smell of actual garbage. The cars honking every five seconds.

Streets clogged like heart arteries with cars. 

I slip into the first bar I find that's playing loud music. The strokes. God, how I used to dance around my room to their music at one in the mornings instead of finishing my assignments. 

"What can I get for you," the bartender, young, maybe only a year older than me, asks in her vocal fry Californian way. 

"rum and coke," I reply. 

"I love your accent," she replies, already pouring out the cheap rum and coke. I set down a ten-er and find a seat in a small alcove, the crushed velvet seat smelling thickly of cheap beer and cigarette smoke. I slump in my seat and watch people come in and out. 

At least I'd seen the TLC Chinese theater on the way in. Even got a picture that wasn't completely blurry at a red light. Months into the tour and my will to go sight see was dead. My feet would not, refused to even think, of walking another two miles down to the famous street. 

I was almost for sure spending my week off curled up in my bed watching random reality tv shows. 

After my rum and coke I grab a cranberry vodka, feeling like a teenager who'd taken a juice box to school. 

The door opens and a familiar face walks in, already chatting up a girl. It's Alex, with the sort of charisma that takes weeks of hacking at his reserved nature to get through. The girl, a acid blonde, is eating it up, giggling against his shoulder as they order drinks. 

It's heartbreak all over again.  

Instead of doing the rational thing, and leaving before I cry in a random bar, I sit there and watch. Watch as he wraps his arm around her, curling his fingers around her waist. She leans into him, laughing loudly like all these Americans do. Stumbling a little as they take a table by the entrance. Alex smiles evenly, even as she wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. 

Shouldn't he be at the concert with his bezzie mate? 

I swallow back bitterness. It's been three months. Plenty of time to have gotten over him if I hadn't been on the road with him for all of that time. That was all. As soon as this tour was over I'd never have to see his face again. 

Even if I wanted to. 

Even if my heart still fluttered when he smiled softly, eyes sparkling with delight as he got absorbed in the conversation. In Miles and even Matt to some extent. He was charming despite his distant nature. The very picture of having your head in the clouds. The dreaminess only made him that much more appealing. I down the rest of my drink, feeling my throat burn, before resolving to leave. This was a sign I should go to the Chinese theater. Get a photo of me among the walk of fame. Why torture myself about Alex? 

He'd been an ass. I had to remind myself of that night, of the week leading up to it when he wouldn't even give me an explanation for why meeting up for breakfast was too much for him. 

When I look up, they're gone. 

I sigh in relief. 

The night in LA is less black, then a midnight blue. The light pollution illuminating even the grimiest corner. I start to walk in the direction of the crowd. Even at eight, the street was as busy as ever. Like New York, like London, this culture capital never slept. It eased any reservations I had about wondering alone at night in a foreign city. 

I'd just get a taxi back to the venue. 

I'm almost down to the light when two figures catch my attention out of the corner of my eye. Down a badly lit alley. There's a homeless woman sleeping at the entrance.

I stop and stare. 

Alex's auburn hair obscuring his features, but I'd know him anywhere. Know the curve of his spine, the way he carried himself, curled in on himself in a way that could only be described as dainty. His lips against the blonde's neck. It's salt in the wound that's been reopened. fuck. I should've stayed behind in Utah. 

I'm about to turn tail and run when my eyes focus on the blonde. Her arms held still by Alex's hands. Back against the wall. It's a red flag ringing in the back of my mind. The flag that my mothers had impressed into my little prepubescent mind, both of them telling me what to do if I ever felt uncomfortable with a man. Both of them biting their nails with each word.

I stride forward without another thought. Jaw clenching shut. 

It doesn't take long to reach them. But my shoe makes an awful crunching sound as I step on a discarded crisps bag. 

Alerting Alex. 

Words well up in my mouth. Stop. What the fuck are you doing. Alex. But they all die on my lips as Alex looks up, his eyes meeting mine. Instead of the caramel color I'm used to, so bloody fond of. . .his eyes like a pair of rubies met mine. A look of utter devastation crosses his fine features. "I can explain," he utters in a rush, lips stained carmine with blood. 

My brain short circuits. Not wanting to make the connection. Not wanting to hear it. I wish I'd stayed. I don't want to know. I don't. Fuck. Jesus fucking christ. 

My mouth can't form words. Can only look from Alex to the hands, still clasped tightly around the blonde. Her smile dazed as she sways, all her weight on him. Alex lets her go. 

She sways like the branches of a willow tree in the wind, almost falling over before the jolt of the fall kicks her back into consciousness. Her eyes widen as she looks at both of us for a tense second. Her mouth widens comically into an O before she screams. 

Alex moves, surging forward and pressing his hand to her mouth, silencing her scream before it can make its way out of the alley and into the trafficked street. He gazes deeply into her frightened eyes. "Forget this night. You had a drink with a stranger and then went home. Now go on. Run back home and sleep the night away." He wipes the last hint of blood from her neck before he lets her go.

Her gaze slacks as he speaks, until the fear retreats. And just like that, like malleable clay, she walks out of the alley, and off into the night. I watch her disappear around the corner. Still shocked silent. 

"El," Alex whispers sadly, much too close for comfort. Having crossed the distance between us while I was distracted. A mistake on my part. A primal terror surging through my mind, telling me to run. To get as far from Alex as possible. "Why'd you have to see?" 

His eyes still unnaturally red.

I shake my head slightly. Aware of his hand reaching for my cheek, frozen in the air, as if held back by some invisible force. "No." I shake my head much more firmly. I don't. I don't want to make the connection consciously that the back of my mind already has. That my mind is insisting of as everything off about him falls into place. 

Alex closes his eyes, taking a step back. "I can let you forget this all if that's what you wish." When he opens his eyes once more, they're back to his normal color. It eases a lump in my throat I hadn't realized had built up. 

This. . .this Alex I might be able to deal with. So much more familiar. If not for the blood on those lips I had spent so many nights kissing.

I rup my temples. "No. No. What the actual fuck."

"El."

"Stay the bloody hell away from me Alex!"

"El please," he pleads, arms held up in a calming motion as though I'm freaking out over nothing. Like he's not a v. . .no. I refuse to go there despite the evidence. "Let's go somewhere to talk."

"I'm not going anywhere alone with you," I spit, stepping back. Wanting to put more distance between us. Had he done that to me? How would I ever even know?

"Of course not," Alex replies, voice wavering, choked full of emotion as he continues, "somewhere crowded-," 

"So you can brainwash me!"

Hurt flashes across his eyes, "I would never hurt you," Alex insists. 

"You already did." I state. Because it had been three months. And Alex, my first serious adult relationship had just-I was left heartbroken. 

He closes his eyes once more sighing. I could run right now. But something more complex than simple fear roots me to this spot in the alley. Alex rubs the bridge of his nose before trying once more.

"El," he sighs with centuries of built up melancholia, "please just listen to me and then you can decide whatever you wish. I'll never bother you again. But El-," his voice breaks. "El I can't refuse for this to be my last memory of you."

My heart flutters, still longing for him even now. Even with the blood drying on his lips. And I can't help but say, "okay."

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 7A

2016

Miles sat on a bench outside some fancy restaurant with a tongue-twisting french name that Alex had picked for the occasion. It was his birthday. They were in the last stages of preparing for their Shadow Puppets tour and every day was filled with rehearsals, interviews, photo shoots or some other thing that stretched both his and Alex's nerves to the snapping point.

He was deeply appreciative of Alex's effort to make this night memorable. His friend had a heart of gold and if ever there was the occasion for an effort, one could always count on Alex to step up and make it. But, even though Miles would never admit it to Alex, he would have preferred to spend the evening at home, on the couch, with Alex. Relaxing. It was a strange wish for him. Usually, it was him who loved large gatherings and parties of all kinds. Tonight, though, he would have liked a respite.

Taking another long pull from his cigarette, Miles gazed upwards and swallowed a yawn.

“Exhausted, huh?”

A smile appeared on his face. “That obvious?” He met Alex's eyes. “I love the party. Thank you so much, babe. A wonderful gift.”

“Gift? This party isn't your gift, my friend. Just a little demonstration of my appreciation of you.” Alex sat down next to him and rested his forehead against Miles' temple.“I haven't been very easy to be around, lately. I know I can be a nuisance before tour. And,” he admitted cheekily, “I'll be even worse on tour. So better think of his night as my attempt to preemptively make up for a lot of shit that I'll do or say down the road.”

Miles chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulders. Having him this close was dangerous. It made him long for him in a way he knew was entirely inappropriate. They were friends. He ought to remember that. He ought to ignore the warmth that Alex spread in him. He ought to fight the urge to always touch him. But it was getting harder and harder with each day. If only Alex would object to any of it! The fact that he didn't made Miles feel that much worse. His friend trusted him completely, sought him out for comfort, and here he was, shamelessly using that trust, that literal physical connection, to satisfy his festering curiosity and his unsavory needs. “Don't worry. You have nothing to apologize for,” he said, stricken by his own guilt.

Miles felt the heat from the point where Alex's head touched; he felt it slowly sprawling through his body. It was almost overwhelming. So far into the night, long past the point of being sober, his better judgment was step by step shutting down operations and all that remained was his own free will. And boy, that free will had a wild mind of his own. Miles squeezed his eyes shut, fighting for control. Maybe a change of topic would help? “If this isn't my gift, then what is it? Is it the gift basket with the purple loofah I saw in the backroom?” It was a hard task to not whisper. They were so close. It was so very tempting to hush the words into Alex's ear, maybe brush his lips against his skin. Just a little taste. Just for a half a second.

No, shouted the little bit of self-control he had left in him. Get a grip, man!

“Would you like a loofah?” Alex laughed softly. A torturous act. His small puffs of air felt like canon fire against his fast-crumbling walls of defense. “It's your birthday,” whispered his friend, making the walls tumble faster, “I'll get you anything you want.”

Oh God. A shiver went down Miles' spine.

Alex leaned back just the tiniest bit. “Are you cold? Shall we go inside?”

The loss of contact made Miles regain the smallest fraction of control. “No. Not yet. I like the quiet night.”

Alex sat back, shrugged out of his blazer and placed it over Miles' back. “I wouldn't want you to catch a cold on your birthday. What kind of friend would that make me, huh?” A chuckle slipped past his lips. His forehead returned to its spot against Miles' temple.

There was still that obstinate bit of lust that seemed to materialize every time Alex stepped into the scenes of Miles' life, but Alex's kind gesture completely distracted him from noticing. Instead, all his focus lay on his friend's arms, on his goosebumps, his tiny little hairs as they stood upwards. Alex was freezing, deliberately. Miles quickly took the jacket from his back, wrapped an arm around Alex to pull him closer, then placed the jacket around both their shoulders. “This is bloody ridiculous!” His arm remained around the back, his hand rubbing up and down to spread warmth. “Don't do that, Al! Don't put my needs above yours. You're shivering now!”

“Trust me, I'm not freezing,” reassured Alex.

But Miles wasn't convinced. Not when he saw evidence to the contrary. “I can see that you are. And why are you wearing a short sleeved shirt tonight? It's too bloody cold for that!”

Alex laughed. “Are you seriously telling me to dress according to the weather? Let's recall last year's summer party at Matt's! It was scorching hot outside and who showed up wearing a black leather jacket?” He gave him a pointed look.

Miles grinned. “It was a new jacket. I didn't have the patience to wait for fall to come around.” His eyes still lingered on Alex's arms when he spotted the tattoo. It didn't look new. But, then again, it had been a while since he'd seen his friend in short sleeves. “Oh Alexander, what have you done?”

“Alexander?” Alex blinked confused. “Have you ever called me that? And what are you talking about, Mister Miles Peter Kane?”

Miles motioned towards the tattoo. “She put her trademark on you?”

Alex looked down at his arm. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Happened a while ago.” Then he placed his hand on top of it, self-consciously. “Told you, it can always be removed later. For now it'll make her happy.”

“What about what makes you happy,” wondered Miles, worried about his friend. He was in the habit of trying to make those around him happy, but he often forgot about himself. “Are you happy with her?”

“As happy as I can be,” said Alex.


It wasn't the answer he had hoped for. He heard the self-loathing that his friend was prone to at times, heard the doubt and the way he was settling instead of aiming for more. “I hope one day you'll find somebody who completely, utterly knocks your socks off. I'd like to see you smile at some woman the way you smile at me sometimes.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Alex, a bit of confusion in his voice.

Miles pecked his friend's forehead, then got up and held out his hand for him. Alex took it. “Wholly. When you smile at me, you don't hide yourself. I can see right into your soul. When you smile at them, you always have your guard up. Even now, even with Taylor.”

“That's because I trust you. You won't ever hurt me. I don't need to be guarded around you. Besides, do you let Hannah see the full you?”

Miles hesitated, then shook his head. They were still holding hands, fingers entwined. “Maybe I should follow my own advice,” he said, half-joking. His gaze landed on their hands. He didn't let go, just squeezed a bit tighter. “Come on, I'm ready for my cake now!”

He turned around, pulled Alex with him and delighted when he felt his friend wrap his arms around him from behind. Tonight was his birthday. Tonight, he decided, he wouldn't care for the appropriate amount of proximity or personal space or anything that could put a damper on his mood. Tonight, he'd party. As they made their way back towards the large table, he saw that people had gathered around it and were awaiting him.

Alex let go of him, took a seat on Miles' chair and patted his lap, flashing a giant smile. “Sit here! You're gonna love this cake. I ordered it myself and told them how to decorate it!”

Miles grinned at Alex, who sounded so proud of himself for having managed that. As he sat down on Alex's lap, Miles relaxed and got comfortable. For tonight, he wouldn't worry about blurry lines and or the risks of letting go. It was his party and he'd enjoy every last moment of it.

Present Day

“What do you mean, you shaved his hair off? I haven't seen him all day. I think he's avoiding me or something.” Miles took a sip from his water bottle. He'd just finished his sound-check for the night and sat on the edge of the stage, next to Matt. “All of it? Is he bald now?”

Matt shook his head. “A bit of it is left. He didn't go full Britney. I'm worried about him, Miles. For you and me a shave is just a haircut. But you know him. Stuff always means something with him. Especially now, with her around.”


“Who?” asked Miles, trying to catch up with everything Matt was telling him. Then his words sank in. A queasy feeling overcame him. Her. “What her?”

“Man, don't you guys talk anymore? Her? The one who won't leave his side? Louise?” Matt shook his head. “Weird one, that. I can't warm up to her. She's all artsy and French.”

Miles couldn't believe it. “He's got a new one already?” Suddenly he felt awful. He'd spent so much time being busy with his own life that, lately, he'd neglected to look out for Alex. It wasn't that he didn't want to look out for him. But he felt responsible for his break-up. The long-lingering aftershocks of their fateful kiss had yet to die down, apparently. If he hadn't kissed Alex, his friend would still be with Taylor. And while, initially, he'd been wary of her, she had been a good and steadying influence on his best friend. She'd anchored him. She'd allowed him room to breathe while offering a place to return to. “Doesn't she know he just split up with someone?”

“She knows. She's a groupie. She knows a lot about him. About all of us. Like I said, weird one.” Matt nudge Miles' shoulder. “There she is,” he said, motioning for the slim woman entering the side of the stage. Trailing not far behind was Alex.

The sight almost broke Miles' heart. Alex looked miserable. And Miles blamed most of that on that ridiculous haircut! Jumping up and hurrying over, he wrapped his friend up in a tight hug and squeezed him until he felt Alex pushing back. “How are you, babe?” Letting go just enough to be able to closely inspect him, Miles brushed a hand along the side of his head tenderly.

Alex flinched.

And now Miles' heart broke for real. He stared at Alex in shock. A decade of friendship, fights, tears, sorrow, joy, happiness, excitement, even a few wayward moments of unwelcome arousal, but never once had Alex flinched at Miles' touch. Words deserted him. And he saw in Alex's eyes that his friend understood precisely what was going on.

“Louise,” said Louise, introducing herself. She stepped between Miles and Alex, forcing them further apart. “So nice to finally meet you. Alexander has told me so much about you,” she let him know, holding out her hand for him to shake. “You mean a lot to him, obviously.”

He was too perplexed by Alex's behavior to properly acknowledge her. He barely managed to shake her hand. “Miles,” said Miles. “Well, Alex hasn't mentioned you once, so...”

“Miles,” admonished Alex and Miles realized it was the first word he'd spoken to him.

His confused state, his wounded heart and Alex's offsetting behavior put Miles in a sour mood. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to grab Alex, push him into an empty room and demand some bloody answers. But he couldn't do it. He was pressed for time, they were surrounded by people who were all paying rapt attention to their tense stand-off and, worst of it all, he could tell from the look in Alex's eyes that his friend wanted to be anywhere but in an empty room with him.

So he settled for a deep, loud sigh, hoping the sound would express all of his emotions at once and with more effect than any words could. Then he turned around, grabbed his water bottle and hopped off the stage. “Find me when you're ready.” He didn't bother addressing Alex. It was clear for whom that message was intended. Then he headed for the exit.

“Fucking shit, Miles,” Alex shot as he stormed into Miles' dressing room after the gig. The Monkeys had finished half an hour ago, the rest of Miles' band had long left the building and, thank God, thought Miles, as he watched his friend slam the door shut, Louise was not with him!

That was the good news. The bad news was that his mood had yet to rise to calmer levels. If anything, the fact that Alex appeared to be mad at him, made it sink even lower. “Fucking what, Al?” He didn't get up from the couch, just leaned back, surly, daring him to take offense.

Alex took a few steadying breaths, stayed silent, and leaned back against the door.

Miles eyed him expectingly. “Well? Would you like to explain any of it?”

“Explain what?”

“Your fucking haircut, for a start! Or the fact that you have a groupie as a girlfriend! And when you're done with that and have warmed up, let's get to the good stuff 'cause I'd really fucking like to know why you flinched when I touched you! That one hurt, Alex.”

Alex closed his eyes, letting his head roll back. “You know, there are times when I really don't like the way my name sounds when you say it.” He opened his eyes again, met Miles'. “Two people in the world can ruin my day just by saying my name a certain way. My mum, obviously. And you. When I hear you say it like that, that's when I know I screwed up real good and a simple apology won't fix it.” He walked over to the couch and sat down. Not next to Miles. On the far end of it.

It was another dagger through Miles' heart. “I would settle for an explanation.”

“My hair,” began Alex, playing around with some spare guitar strings on the coffee table in front of him, “it annoyed me. So I got rid of it. It'll grow back.” A pause. “I won't discuss Louise with you. We never judged each other for our girlfriends. Let's not start now. Accept her or not, I don't care. But she'll be around for a while.”

“You flinched, Alex!” Really, it was the only thing he really wanted an explanation for. He didn't give a fig about the hair, and even less about the girl.

And it was the one thing Alex didn't explain. “I didn't mean to. And that's the truth, if ever there was one.”

For a while they sat in silence. “Last time we spoke, we spoke for none more than five minutes,” pointed Miles out. His words were interlaced with equal parts bewilderment and sadness. “Before that, we spoke not much longer. When we meet, there are always people around us. We don't hang out alone anymore.” His eyes searched Alex's. He waited for his friend to meet his gaze. He didn't blame Alex for any of it. It was just as much his own fault. After the kiss they had allowed things to get awkward. But in retrospect, there were moments long before their lips met, when he should have stopped and paid more attention. “Is this what the end of a relationship feels like? Have I steered us on this course? Or were we headed here long before Paris?”

Alex spoke in a quiet, solemn manner. “You mean, are all relationships destined for an ending?”

“Think about it, Al. Did we really believe we were bulletproof?”

“Are you genuinely asking for my opinion, or are you breaking up with me? It seems to me you've made up your mind already and consider us no longer redeemable,” he said accusingly. “Why now?”

“Because you fucking flinched!” Bursted Miles.

“I cannot explain it to you, Miles! Why are you bloody stuck on that part? So we've reached a rough spot in our friendship. Don't all friendships experience that at some point?”

“A rough spot in our friendship was you accusing me of having feelings for Alexa! This isn't a rough spot, Alex! I'm stuck on the flinching because the look in your eyes told me my touch disgusted you and you won't tell me why. I don't think I'll ever forget that expression.” The lack of empathy or regret on Alex's face made it unbearable for Miles to look at him any longer. “I don't know how to be your friend at the moment,” he admitted, deeply troubled, “because I'm not sure you want me to be your friend at the moment.”

Alex stood up abruptly, turned away from Miles. “One minute of interaction today and that's enough for you to make that kind of statement? You're a bloody coward for saying that!” He stormed out of the room the same way he'd stormed into it – by slamming the door shut.

Miles got up, walked over to the minibar in the room and grabbed a few small bottles of Vodka. One he drowned in one gulp. The next one he looked at, in a mixture of vile disgust and fierce anger – pretty much how he felt about himself at the moment – and he threw the bottle against the wall in a moment of furious ire, watching as the broken glass and the liquor met in a mess on the floor. The remaining bottles he took with him to the couch. “Fucked up ending for a fucked up day,” he said into the empty space.